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sbdskate · 3 months

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Laws Of Attraction (Part 10) - DR x lawyer!fem!reader

Summary: McLaren is in breach of contract, dr3 hires a lawyer to deal with the aftermath. Tropes ensue. Slow burn. Enemies(kind of) -> Friends/colleagues -> Lovers

Pairing: lawyer!fem!reader x Daniel Ricciardo

Warnings (18+): sickening amount of fluff, language, angst, *SMUT*: oral (m + f receiving), fingering, hand job, p in v, overstimulation if you blink

Word Count: 6,892

A/N: If you’re here, congratulations! You made it to the end. A big thank you to everyone that has commented, shared, liked, etc. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since my first post. I had a vision when I started writing this in the middle of the 2022 season, not quite sure where it would lead, but I’m happy with where it landed and I hope you are too. I hope you like wine with your cheese, because this is ~cheesy~. Also, this is my first time writing smut so (1) if you are a minor please do not proceed; (2) if you do like/read smut, I would appreciate any kind of feedback. A big thank you to @cutelittlefakejourneys and @burningcupcakefire for beta-ing. Thank you @paddockbunny, @monzabee, and @silverstonesainz for the insights and words of encouragement. As always, thank you for reading.

Daniel paced the hallway. He wasn’t accustomed to not getting what he wanted. Sure, in the last few months he had had his fair share of disappointments, but this was different. He was tempted to knock on your door until you answered, but thought the better of it.

He played through the moment in his head again, no different than analyzing a post-race debrief. What went wrong and how could he improve? He was professional during the signing. He knew you loved Geri, you only casually brought up Ginger Spice in conversation no less than a dozen times over the last few months. He knew you’d love to actually meet her – who knows, if everything went well it certainly wouldn’t be the last time for you. He didn’t force himself on you – at this point he knew you were like a cat and he needed to wait for you to come to him or else he’d scare you off. It seemed like the only thing keeping you from ripping each other’s clothes off was your job. Or so he thought.

Now he was confused. It was clear you hadn’t meant to say what you said – but you said it. I could kiss you. Can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. Four words that looped in his brain. He had spent so much time dissecting the meaning of the word “could,” he felt like he could be a lawyer too. But he had taken his time closing the space between you in the hallway. When he leaned in, you leaned in too. You had ample time to tell him off if he had misconstrued the whole thing, and he would never think less of you if you did, but you didn’t.

No, what just happened was not a rejection. You were just skittish. Like a cat hiding under a bed, you just needed to be coaxed out – slowly. You were food motivated, he’d learned that about you during your first outing in Belgium when you put down more bon bons than he thought was humanly possible. Yes, all you needed was to be approached with patience and understanding - and maybe the promise of a full belly.

You leaned against the door and squeezed your eyes shut, embarrassment already crashing over you like a tidal wave. You knew you were being ridiculous and immature. What was it that you were still afraid of?

You stripped off your suit immediately, it felt stuffy and heavy as you overheated, the reminder of your attorney-client relationship falling to the floor. You threw on the first thing you grabbed out of your bag - why did it have to be that pesky yellow dress again?

You paced your room for what felt like hours. Your professional activities with Daniel had officially come to its natural conclusion and yet you were still hesitant to move forward. It didn’t help that you were in a country that banned the cohabitation of unmarried couples, so really, what were you even going to do?

Despite the confessions exchanged back in Mexico and the kiss in Brazil, it was never guaranteed that anything would actually happen once Daniel’s legal affairs were settled. Frankly, you still weren’t fully convinced the conversations ever actually happened. You refused to believe the lingering stares and little touches that lasted a little too long were anything more than pure coincidence.

In spite of all of it, you remained unconvinced about how Daniel actually felt about you. Over the years of failed relationships and first dates that ranged from awkward to bad, you had grown wary and skeptical of romantic pursuits. For all you knew, all his lip-service was simply an elaborate ruse to get in your pants. You thought on this worst case scenario, which really wasn’t so bad. God forbid you have one night stand with a Formula 1 driver and live to tell the tale. It would be a lie to say you wouldn’t be hurt at first if you were correct, but you would eventually be fine. You had been happily single and independent for years, it would simply be a return to your de facto state.

And even if you could take him at his word, you couldn’t help but wonder what that relationship would look like when you had to resume work for other clients and the luxury of constant travel and proximity ceased. How would you continue to keep in touch? How often would you actually be able to see each other in person? Your first relationship was with The Firm, and you knew you weren’t ready to give up your livelihood for him. Then there was the other issue of paparazzi and tabloids - the forced spotlight that would fall on you, resulting in the lack of privacy and anonymity. You had no desire for fame, yet he seemed to be designed for it. You could go toe-to-toe with opposing counsel any day, but you weren’t sure you had his mental fortitude to withstand the cruel and unsolicited opinions of strangers on the internet.

You weighed the pros and cons over and over again in your head. For someone with such a demanding job, it made no sense that it all felt so overwhelming and complicated. But it was telling that the Australian was the first person you wanted to confide in. He was the only one who could ever quiet the constant hurricane in your mind that caused you to spiral if left unchecked. In this moment, you needed him to ground you.

You had been raised to leave hotel room minibars alone unless you wanted to bankrupt you and your entire family for two generations. Going against everything you believed, you took a nip from the stock. Hoping the small amount of liquid courage would do the trick, you checked your reflection in the mirror one last time before venturing to the room next door. You would simply have to assume the risk of the unknown aftermath.

With shaking hands, you opened the door only to be met with Daniel’s presence before you. He jumped slightly at the sudden movement. You did a poor job hiding your astonishment that left you frozen in place.

“Oh… hi?” Your eyes remained wide. He looked around and scratched the back of his head, appearing to be as surprised and confused as you were.

“Hi – I uh,” he took a moment to give you a once over. “I’m sorry are you about to go somewhere? You look nice.” You felt your face turn red immediately, the bravery you built up moments ago dissipating in an instance. He shifted his weight, quickly correcting himself. “Not that you don’t always look nice! I just – you look nicer than usual. I mean-” He seemed uncharacteristically nervous and was digging himself a hole. You looked around the hall to ensure it was empty and took a deep breath to save him from digging any deeper.

“Yes actually. I was going to see you.” He seemed surprised and relieved at the answer.

“No way, I was about to see you!” He shook his head when he saw you bite back a smile. “Obviously, I’ve been standing outside your door,” he laughed nervously, his confidence shrinking by the second. “Not for very long though! You didn’t need to know that. But I wanted to come to say I’m sorry about before, I was too forward back there. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just figured, you know, since we went pencils down and everything, maybe we could-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Did I stutter?” You walked backwards as you took his hand, leading him through the doorway. He didn’t fight your lead.

“-you don’t know what I was going to ask.” You leaned back, allowing the door to click behind you under your weight.

“It doesn’t matter. The answer is yes.” You gave him a reassuring smile and gently squeezed his hand bringing him closer. “With you it will always be yes.” It seemed both of you were at a loss for words, but they were unnecessary as he took a step towards you closing the small gap that remained. His eyes were enchantingly curious as they gazed into yours. You only looked away for a millisecond, distracted by the tongue that broke free from his mouth to moisten his plump lips. You took a deep inhale in anticipation, your heartbeat bordering on palpitations as his lips closed in.

The moment they met yours, immediately you knew you never wanted boundaries with this man ever again. One hand cupped the side of your face while the other grabbed your waist to pull you closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck in an effort to eliminate any remaining iota of space between the two of you. Your lips danced and moved together in unison, neither of you wanting to come up for air. His firm calloused hands roamed your body, unsure of where to rest. There were so many parts of you he had never touched before and he wanted desperately to become acquainted with them as quickly as possible. He squeezed your shoulders, ran them down the lengths of your arms, moved to the small of your back up towards your neck, in your hair.

The feverishness of it all began to slow, as he tried to memorize every peak and valley. He reverently moved his hands from your waist, dragging them up the length of your spine, one hand finding its way to your hair as though he wanted to remember every hair follicle, the other keeping your body firmly pressed against his. The leisurely pace only teased you, and each spot he touched left your body buzzing. He slowly brought his other hand to find yours again, repositioning so your fingers interlocked. The sweet gesture felt suddenly sinful when he pinned them to the wall, dragging them up the door until they were next to your head. The motion made your head spin, warmth spreading between your thighs, and you inadvertently let out a soft moan.

Ravenous for more, he firmly pressed your bodies together against the door, almost knocking the wind out of you. He pulled away only for a moment, his eyes pleading.

Can I?

You nodded your head frantically, capturing his mouth once more while guiding his hands to the parts you desperately needed touched. One gently cupped your breast while the other roughly grabbed your ass, kneading the muscles underneath. You both groaned in unison at the new sensation.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you,” he mouthed breathlessly before finding your neck, hoping the feeling was mutual. You didn’t say anything back, but he could tell from the pant of your breath and the pulse under his lips that it was. You threw your head back as he sucked, licked, and nipped at the sweet spot as he gently grazed his thumb over your bra, immediately feeling your nipple form into a stiff peak underneath. Being mindful of your noise level, you bit back a moan that ended up coming out as a pathetic whimper. You shamelessly pushed your hips against his and squeezed his hand on your breast, encouraging him to explore and desperate for more contact.

You instinctively widened your stance for him to perch himself between your legs. His hand played with the waistband of your underwear through your dress, trailing down to your inner upper thigh.

“Stop teasing,” you hissed. He only smiled into the kiss in response, his tongue pushing into your mouth to shut you up.

Your hands followed their own curious whims. Those pecs that you had gotten an eyeful of several times felt warm and firm under your touch. Your palm dragged down the ripples of his abs, gently landing over the front of his pants. You gasped feeling him harden under your touch for the first time, eliciting a low growl from him in return. His hips pushed forward in frustration, eager for more. You allowed him some relief, undoing his belt and pants, cautiously reaching inside. Your eyes widened.

“Holy shit,” you muttered as you grabbed around his length, your hand suddenly feeling quite small. He looked you dead in the eye, that familiar cocky smirk and twinkle returning to his face.

“Come on,” he flashed you a wicked grin. “You knew it had to be big.” You laughed at his boldness, which only inspired him to double down. “I know how to use it too.”

“That’s some awfully big talk.” You already had goosebumps from your head to your toes, but you weren’t going to let him know that just yet. You would make sure he worked for it. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“It’s not the only thing I know how to use.”

He captured your mouth in a gentle, chaste kiss as he used one hand to pull up the hem of your dress. His other hand snuck under the skirt, slowly dragging it across your skin. Rough and calloused from racing, they felt tantalizingly delicate.

“I was going to prove it, but it looks like I already convinced you.” He drew little spirals around your clit over your panties, barely applying any pressure. You bit your lip and looked up to the ceiling, praying for relief from the building tension. To your chagrin, his hand began to pull away.

“No. Please,” was all you could muster, your brain searching for more eloquent words that escaped you.

“Please what?” You reached for his crotch, hoping the action would suffice as an answer, but he grabbed your wrist to pin it to the door. “You have to use your words.” You felt the words on his breath that seeped through your skin.

“Please touch me.” Frustrated, you used your free hand to try to get him to fully take your dress off which was only getting in the way. He obliged, releasing your other hand to get a hold of the fabric. You put your arms up as he gathered the material over your head. Throwing the garment aside, he pulled away slightly to observe you for a moment. His eyes widening as they moved down your frame, trying and failing to hide his growing smirk.

“Do you always wear pretty underwear when you close a deal? Or are these for me?” He played with the pink lacy textile between his fingers, admiring how they accentuated the contour of your waist and hips.

“Both,” you gasped as he dragged a finger down your front. It passed over your clit, down to the fabric covering your entrance, smiling feeling how embarrassingly soaked you already were through the thin material.

With a chaste kiss on the cheek, he proceeded to leave a trail of kisses down your neck, chest, stomach, until he reached the hem of fabric. He continued over the garment, bypassing the spot he knew you needed him to your inner thigh. The gentle touches and the scruff of his beard almost tickled, panting as he moved down your body.

He looped his thumbs around the sides of your thong, pausing to look up hopefully for permission. You nodded with lidded, lustful eyes. He couldn’t hide his dimples and he continued to tease, dragging your panties slowly down your legs, taking care to pick up each foot to get you out of them. Your heart swelled as you observed him treating you so delicately, like a fragile porcelain doll. His trail of kisses started again from the bottom, beginning at your ankle, to the inside of your knee and again to your upper thigh until he reached an apex.

“Hold on.” You weren’t sure what he meant at first. Then without warning, he grabbed your hip and threw your opposite leg over his shoulder, finally diving into your center. Your hands instinctively found their way to his head to stabilize yourself, accidentally letting out a yelp in the process which soon after turned into a low moan as his tongue swirled slow circles around your clit. “You taste so fucking good,” he mumbled into your skin.

The vision of him on his knees fully clothed, contrasted with your nakedness enhanced his touch and sent you spiraling. Your hands raked through his gorgeous curls as he lapped you up. The pressure he applied gradually increased, culminating to him inserting a finger in you, then two. You slapped a hand over your mouth as the pressure pooled and he found his rhythm with his tongue and fingers. He knew you were close when your legs started to shake and squeezed around him. The waves came crashing over you as you bucked your hips erratically. He removed his fingers so that he could stabilize you, but his mouth never stopped.

He finally put your other leg back on the ground when your hips slowed and stood up. Your legs almost buckled from underneath you but he caught you before you could fall, lifting you to walk to the bed.

You watched him carry you wordlessly, your brain still short circuiting from your orgasm only knowing enough to wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. Not because you thought he’d drop you, but because you wanted to be as close to him as possible. It still wasn’t close enough.

He sat himself down on the bed with you landing in his lap, legs still wrapped tightly. There had never been a time where the two of you have been in the same room and exchanged so few words. You continued to stare at each other, simply amazed to be in the same space and sharing skin after three long anguished months of resisting forbidden fruit.

Your gaze fell to his swollen lips that you desperately wanted to taste again, still shiny with your essence. His hand pressed up your back until he grabbed a fistful of hair, bringing you in fervently for another kiss. It was the kind of kiss that enveloped you, that turned your legs to water and caused currents in you to flow creating bountiful energy that begged for release. Your hands roamed from his shoulders, down his chest and abs to the hem of his shirt. The two of you pried it off together and he threw it somewhere on the floor. Your mouths met again gluing your torsos together, your currents crashing in a tidal wave of electricity and emotion.

You unwrapped your legs to straddle him, lightly pushing him backwards. He pulled you with him as you both fell into the bed, smiling into each other and little giggles filling the air. You rolled your hips over him, annoyed with the layers that still separated you from the waist down. You reached down, sloppily pushing at his pants to demonstrate your displeasure. He understood your message, weaving his arms past you to finish the job and shimmying his legs until they were off. You reached down the waistband of his boxer briefs, teasing your fingertips just underneath but not going further. It thrilled you to feel his muscles tense underneath your touch. He nipped your bottom lip when your hand moved further south, and you could feel his jaw clench.

He pulled away suddenly, and you couldn’t place the look on his face which made you nervous.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! It’s just…” his hand cupped the side of your face, caressing your cheek. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Your heart swelled at how delicate he was with you, at how much he cared. But you didn’t want to be treated delicately. And now you almost felt bad about how much you’d teased him up to this point. Almost.

“Do you know,” you said sitting up, your hand ghosting over the outline of him through his boxer briefs, “I had a sex dream about you. Right before the Japanese Grand Prix.”

“No,” he ground out.

“You had my legs spread on a desk in some McLaren office.” You felt his whole body clench again as you slid the last piece of clothing down his legs. As though the thought hadn’t crossed his mind every time you admonished him for not paying attention or not taking things seriously in those early days. The frequency of course increased, to every time you bent over, smiled, or played with your hair, to simply existing. For once, he was the one blushing and you found it entirely endearing. “I’ve literally dreamt of fucking you for three months. I want you and I need you. Now.”

His pupils dilated at your words, and his hands moved possessively from your face down to your ass where his fingers sank into your skin hoping to mark and keep you. He tried to find the words to communicate how badly he wanted and needed you too, but blood was no longer flowing to his brain and no words seemed perfect enough for you. His shaft twitched against his toned stomach, eager for your touch. You relieved him, wrapping your full hand around his impressive length pumping up and down a few times, your gentle grip slowly firming with each stroke.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. His hand found your waist and you felt his grip tighten as you continued. You slithered down his body until your mouth aligned with him, spitting over his tip. He felt voyeuristic watching the saliva drip from your tongue. You looked up to see him gripping the sheets for dear life.

“Is that alright?” He nodded fervently.

“Only if you want to,” he croaked out. Bless this man, who just wanted to make sure you were comfortable even though it looked like his eyes were going to roll back into his head.

“I do. Very much,” you insisted. You dragged your tongue slowly from the base of his shaft to his tip. “You made me feel good.” Lick. “Now I want to make you feel good.” His shallow breath hitched when you finally took him in your mouth. Your eyes watered as he hit the back of your throat, you looked up to make sure he was still breathing. You found him slack jawed, but eyes full of lust. He brought a hand to your head. You prepared your gag reflex expecting him to force your rhythm, but instead simply pushed your hair out of your face.

“Fuck, you look so good.” You felt the slickness spread between your thighs at his praise, adding a hand to his base where your mouth couldn’t quite reach. You increased your speed, moaning into him. He happily absorbed the vibrations, reflexively bucking his hips into you. You tasted salty precum at his tip and could tell he was close.

“W-wait,” you slowed your pace but didn’t remove him as you looked up again. “I don’t want to finish yet. Not like this.” You slowly pried yourself off him, finishing with a satisfying *pop* as you released him. You saw his chest rise and fall at an alarming rate. He helped pull you up, interlocking your fingers in the process.

“What do you want?” you asked, knowing you would do whatever came out of his mouth without hesitation.

“Grab my jeans?” You couldn't hide your skepticism, but nonetheless begrudgingly left the nicest seat you’ve ever known to find his pants somewhere on the floor. You resumed your spot on his lap as he frantically searched his pockets, finally locating his wallet and fished out a condom. Everything else found its way back to the ground. Eyes wide, he maintained a death grip on the condom. “You’re sure?”

You smiled. You thumbed his jawline as you brought your foreheads together. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.” It took him about four seconds to process what you said, but when he did closed the gap between your lips in a messy and desperate kiss that sucked the air out of you. It dizzied him too and only pulled away when he remembered he had to open the condom. You leaned back to give him some space as he struggled with the wrapper. His brow furrowed in frustration as he tried to steady his shaky hands.

“I swear I’m usually a lot smoother than this,” he muttered. You bit back a laugh.

“I believe you.”

“You just make me nervous,” he admitted, uncharacteristically bashful. “In case you couldn’t tell.”

“Hardly noticed,” you said sarcastically, but reassured him with a giggle. “It’s very endearing, if it makes you feel any better.” You calmly grabbed it from him.

“It does,” he confessed as he let you take it from his hands. Without breaking eye contact, you ripped the wrapper easily with your teeth. You felt him twitch under you as you wriggled yourself against him in content, allowing him to feel your arousal. He swallowed thickly. “Where did you learn that?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out,” you smirked. You moved off him for a moment, and he took the chance to stroke himself a few times, watching you absentmindedly. How your hair, now perfectly tousled, fell around your shoulders. How gravity worked miracles on the swell of your breasts. How your waist sloped into your hips and thighs. You patiently presented the condom back to him and he used all his concentration to take it from you to roll it down his length. He looked at you hopefully when he was done and you rewarded him with another kiss, your hair cascading around the two of you creating a protective curtain around your new little intimate universe.

You both watched as you eased yourself onto his cock, voyeurs of your own lust. Your moans harmonized as he bottomed out. You felt deliciously stretched and full. Complete. You began slow to adjust to his size, teasing him in the process with your agonizing pace, rising up to the point of almost dismount before sinking back down again engulfing his full length.

“Does this feel good?” you cooed, already knowing the answer as you swirled your hips with him bottomed out inside you, tormentingly slow.

“Yes. Fuck yes,” he groaned as he palmed your ass. “You’re so fucking tight.” You dragged a hand from his chest, down the ripples of his abs, towards where the two of you intercepted. With his jaw clenched, he sank his fingers in your hips, trying unsuccessfully to steady them as you continued to rock. “You look so good with me inside you.”

He lifted his hips to meet yours as proof of his enjoyment, the new angle jolting you forward slightly. A moan escaped as you found a rhythm as you rolled your hips back and forth, itching for the friction of his skin against your already swollen clit. Your pace quickened as his length hit that sacred spot deep in your core over and over. The bounce of your tits mesmerized him. Unable to resist, his mouth found a nipple, flicking his tongue back and forth over the sensitive peak that had you seeing stars.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you whimpered. You felt the pressure pool and coil in your lower abdomen. Your eyes closed when he grabbed the back of your head, gently pulling your hair.

“Look at me. I want you to look at me when you come.” All you could do was nod in response, worried that any sound you might let out at that point would alert the whole building. It was impossible to look away from his gaze even if you wanted to. You bit your lip as the pressure continued to build, hypnotized by the repetition and sensory overload. You rocked back onto him a final time before reaching your release, collapsing on forward onto his chest and his name falling off your tongue like a prayer as your hips slowed and stuttered.

Yes

Daniel

He’d never heard a more beautiful sound before. His mouth caught yours again, absorbing the moans that continued as you rode out your orgasm. He wrapped an arm around your lower back to pull you flush to his chest and began to upthrust, building to an excruciating pace. You held onto his shoulders for dear life.

“W-what are you doing?” You knew you sounded pathetic, barely able to form the sentence. He smirked.

“Getting you to Number Three.”

“I can’t,” you whined. He pulled you close and rolled the two of you over, taking care to remain buried inside of you. You gasped at the sudden movement, eyes wide when you landed on your back.

“Three’s my lucky number.” He gave a few slow pumps before pushing himself up to spread your legs. He admired the change in your face at each new angle, each expression more perfect than the next. He brought his thumb down to your clit and watched you whither under his touch. With the new view he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. “Don’t worry, I’ll do the work this time.”

You couldn’t argue with his logic. The only response you could give were incantations of profanities as he fucked you into the mattress and his gentle finger rubbing the sensitive nub just above where your bodies joined. He glistened as beads of sweat formed over his body, enhancing the contours of his muscles with each thrust. It was all too much. You felt your walls begin to clench again, your body eagerly anticipating its reward.

Daniel saw your mouth mold into an “o”, the slight twitch of your muscles, and felt the pressure that was building inside you. He prayed you were close knowing that his stamina would soon run out.

“That’s it. Come for me.” Daniel counted his blessings that he should be so lucky to have a front row seat, not once, not twice, but three times to your orgasms. You were so beautiful. Too beautiful. He couldn’t stop himself from chasing his own high as he watched you twist and contort under him. His thrusts became more frantic and erratic as your moans filled the room until he spilled into you, lurching forward but catching himself before fully collapsing on top of you.

Finally the motions stopped, except for the quickened rise and fall of your chests as you both tried to catch your breath. You blinked at each other a few times, still unable to move or think. Daniel broke the silence.

“Holy shit.” You couldn’t help the stupid grin that formed. You pressed a hand to his cheek just to make sure he was still real.

“That good, huh?” He begrudgingly began to move and pulled out of you, rolling over to your side. He propped himself on his elbow and looked down on you, absentmindedly drawing patterns on your soft belly.

“I was just going to ask if you wanted to grab dinner. But that was way better.” You both laughed as you nuzzled into each other, still peppering the other with butterfly kisses and holding onto the belief that the world was the size of a queen-size bed.

Eventually he got up to go to the bathroom. As soon as he left your side, the intrusive thoughts returned and you began mentally preparing yourself for the inevitable goodbye. You watched silently as he searched the floor for his underwear, blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil. This was fun you repeated in your head. It will be a good story to tell you tried convincing yourself.

He came back to bed and snuggled up against you.

“Now what?” he asked innocently. You squinted back at him, laughing slightly.

“That’s an awfully loaded question, don’t you think?” He seemed confounded for a moment.

“I mean, I was just thinking we could get food now? What were you thinking?” You forgot that men could be such simple creatures. Maybe it was the audacity that allowed them to go about life blissfully unaware or unconcerned about hypothetical what if’s and unintended consequences of their actions. But for now, maybe you needed to think like a man too. You didn’t need to solve all the world’s problems in one night. Maybe all you needed was to just enjoy whatever this was for whatever time was left before you got on a flight tomorrow to return to reality.

“Yeah, I guess I worked up an appetite.” He broke into a wide grin. He grabbed your face to bless you with a kiss on the forehead before fetching the menu.

“Great. I’ll order us room service.”

Your eyes fluttered open the next morning. Scenes from the night before played on a loop in your head. Sweaty bodies entangled in a sea of limbs. In your experience, men who were that charismatic and that good looking rarely knew what to do with the bodies they had been blessed with. And yet…

You were afraid to open your eyes, not ready to let go of the memory that brought a smile to your face so you kept them closed a bit longer. Instead, you extended a hesitant hand to the other side of the bed expecting to feel the warm body of your evening companion, but you felt nothing. You reluctantly opened your eyes.

“Dan?” Your voice was soft and hoarse from sleep. Nothing. Maybe he hadn’t heard you.

“Daniel?” You tried again, a bit louder this time. Still no response.

You slowly got out of bed half asleep, the line between your dreams and the real world still not quite defined. You zombie-walked to the window, delicately drawing back the blackout curtains of the hotel room. You winced as your eyes adjusted to the natural light. Your clothes were still on the floor where they had been unceremoniously discarded, but the other outfit that had kept them company had disappeared. Your heart fell.

“Daniel?” you tried one last time, voice cracking slightly. Maybe he was in the bathroom. Maybe he had eaten something bad yesterday. You knocked on the door before cautiously opening it. You stood in the doorway a beat too long, unable to move from the empty space. He had been so convincing, so charming, and you fell for it. You had been so guarded and careful, you thought you had sniffed out any unsavory motives and you still were left feeling used and abandoned.

You blinked back tears before they could fall, hiding your defeat from no one in particular in the privacy of your hotel room. You wiped your eyes, chugged a glass of water, for some masochist reason put on your Enchante sweatshirt and got back into bed. It was still early, maybe you could sleep another few hours before you had to get ready to go to the airport. Maybe that sleep would help you forget and ease the overwhelming humiliation and melancholy that fell over you.

As you began to drift off, a noise at the door startled you awake. You realized it was the sound of the door key and grabbed sheets to cover yourself quickly, unsure what else to do.

“I’m not ready for housecleaning!” you yelled uncertainly, praying it was in fact hotel staff and not a burglar.

“Hey hey hey, it’s just me. Good morning to you too.” You slowly peaked your head from under the covers, shocked at the sound of the reassuring, achingly familiar Australian accent. The driver stood in the foyer, his hands overflowing with bags and precariously balancing two coffee cups. You sat up a bit more as you processed the sight in front of you.

“What-?” you trailed off. He seemed nervous, but a smile never left his face.

“I, uh, wanted to surprise you with breakfast. There’s a little place down the street. But you looked so peaceful sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you, so I grabbed your room key. But I realized when I got there I didn’t know what you liked, and my phone died, so I kind of got one of everything…I hope that’s ok. I didn’t mean to scare you –“

As he rambled, you had silently gotten out of bed to grab the cups from his hands, placing them on the table along with the insane amount of bags, one by one. With all obstacles removed, you enveloped your arms around his neck and stamped his lips with a kiss. He was surprised by the sudden gesture but returned it eagerly, his hands still familiarizing themselves with you. He blinked a few times when you pulled away.

“I promise I will get breakfast for you every day if you like it that much.” You laughed with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes, and you looked away.

“I thought you left,” your small voice shrank in embarrassment that you had jumped to conclusions so quickly. You couldn’t bring yourself to explain further.

But you didn’t have to. He wrapped you in a bear hug crushing you into his chest, his lips nuzzled into the crown of your head, his body heat invigorating you.

��I’m sorry, I should have texted or let you know where I was.”

“No, it’s silly. I was being overdramatic.”

“It’s not silly. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“But what does that mean?” you asked in exasperation. He pulled away and looked at you in disbelief that you would even ask such a question.

“What do you want it to mean?” You bit your lip in frustration.

“Daniel, don’t be obtuse. In a couple of hours we’re getting on different planes to go to opposite sides of the world.”

“And?”

“We’re not going to see each other.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I know people with private jets.”

“I still have to work.”

“I’ll come to you.”

“My apartment is small.”

“I can pack light.”

“What if you meet someone else when we’re not together?” He let out an irritated sigh.

“I don’t want to meet anyone else.”

You were stumped. He could read the confused look on your face and gently grabbed the sides of your shoulders. “You know, for someone so smart you can be really dumb sometimes.” You crossed your arms.

“Hey!”

“I know it’s hard for you to believe for some reason, but I want to give this a real shot. I want to take you on a proper date. See what things look like when I’m not paying you to spend time with me.”

You looked down, feeling a little guilty about how much you doubted him. You couldn’t help that you were risk averse by nature.

“Did you just… Socratic method me to get me to understand that you like me?”

“Did it work?”

“Let’s just say you have a bright future as a law school professor if this whole driving thing doesn’t work out.” You paused for a moment, still trying to wrap your head around everything. “So… you really want to give this a go?” He rolled his eyes.

“Is it really that hard to believe?”

“I mean – yeah, a little. The world that you operate in is just so much different than mine. Your world consists of beautiful people.”

“You’re beautiful,” he retorted. You blushed but didn’t let the comment throw you off your stride.

“You know what I mean. Your world is glamorous and luxurious. My world is average. It’s a lot of take-out, it’s late nights on the phone with Joe, it’s boring suits, it’s work - without the recognition and without the spotlight. You could have any actress or model or singer in the world and you pick me. Can you blame me for being skeptical?” His face fell slightly as he realized that you didn’t think your shine was bright enough for him. But it was quickly replaced with something mischievous.

“What are you talking about? You’re a singer,” he said matter-of-factly. You rolled your eyes.

“You’ve unfortunately seen me do karaoke, we both know that’s a lie.”

“Your morning shower performances beg to differ.” He laughed at the terror that flashed before your eyes as you threw your hands over your mouth, but quickly reassured you. “I’ve listened to you every morning since we got here. It’s the best part of my day, until I see you.” He pried your hands from your face, holding them in his. “And the last thing you are, is average. Can we please just try?”

You bit your lip, unable to contain the blush spurred by his words of affirmation. The squeeze of his hands on yours caused the dormant butterflies in your stomach to flutter their delicate wings and rise to your chest. A comforting warmth enveloped you, it rose to your cheeks and the answer was there plain as day on your face for him and the world to see. No, it couldn’t hurt to try.

“Only if… you’ll do a duet with me.” After holding his breath for what seemed like eternity, his joy and happiness hanging in the balance waiting for your response, he broke into a toothy grin that used every dimple and laugh line on his face. Without skipping a beat, he threw you over his shoulder and made his way to the bathroom leaving a trail of your giggles in his wake.

“I’m ready for my audition.”

427 notes · View notes

heresmyfiddlestick · 3 months

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Tumblr Dr. Who Poll vs Doctor Who Magazine Poll

It's been just over a month since the end of @adventure-showdown 's monumental survey of how Tumblr feels about individual Doctor Who adventures. Across ten rounds, we sorted the wheat from the chaff, the Quarks from the Rills, and the Cousins from the Looms. I wanted to compare the results of that huge bracket with the results from last year's Doctor Who Magazine poll, which ranked each Doctor's stories individually.

The methodologies for these two were quite different (though adventure-showdown did seed the bracket with a pre-poll that used the same methodology as DWM, but I'm looking at the final poll results for my data here), so comparing them is really interesting! I'm not a statistician, I just like making spreadsheets for fun. I think what can be seen from the trends and data below is a really unique picture of two somewhat overlapping but seriously demographically distinct fragments of the fandom.

Methodologies

Poll Methodologies

The DWM poll asked readers to rank as many televised Doctor Who stories as they liked from 1 to 10. The editors then took the resulting scores for each story and put them in a ranked list for each Doctor.

adventure-showdown began with a series of Google Forms with the same method as DWM, asking internet users to rank stories from 1 to 10. adventure-showdown lumped and split stories differently to DWM: The Key to Time was included as a distinct Four story to each of its individual parts, and each of the individual parts of Trial of a Time Lord and Flux were included alongside the overarching story. Utopia was also split from The Sound of Drums/The Last of the Time Lords.

adventure-showdown used the resulting rankings to create a series of Tumblr polls, moving from a group stage into a series of head-to-head matchups. They matched stories up roughly by obscurity (keeping advertisements and musical numbers separate from audio dramas and comics, which were separate from TV spin-offs, which were separate from the TV show itself), then Doctor or era. With each new round, the matchups were scrambled within melded groups, which ultimately led to a diverse distribution of all different eras and media under the umbrella of Doctor Who throughout the tournament.

My Methodology

In order to turn adventure-showdown's poll results into something that can be compared to DWM's, I created a spreadsheet tracking how each Doctor's stories were doing, separating them first into tiers according to which round they were eliminated in, then within those tiers by how many votes they had in the matchup where they were eliminated.

In the case of some particularly tough matchups, this means that the story that got the most points throughout the entire competition is not necessarily the highest-ranked story for that Doctor. For instance, The Happiness Patrol finished #3 of the Seventh Doctor's stories according to my reckoning of the Tumblr poll, being eliminated in the fifth round with 400 votes, less than the two stories above it (which were eliminated in rounds where they got 147 and 107 votes, respectively). The Happiness Patrol saw a vigorous campaign to increase its vote count, since it was up against Blink. The post for the matchup that eliminated it currently has 304 notes as of this writing. This is one of the fun quirks of this execrise.

General Trends

Where We Agree

The Ninth Doctor shows very stable story rankings between DWM and Tumblr.

On average, the difference in rankings for each episode of 9 is 5%, with only 2 out of 10 stories actually moving up or down the rankings at all. The Sixth Doctor is similar: only 3 of his 8 stories (included in the DWM poll, meaning not counting the individual parts of Trial) moved by more than 1 ranking. The Seventh Doctor only had 4 of his 12 stories move by more than 1 ranking.

On the flipside, Tumblr's opinions differ from DWM most regarding the First, Fifth, and Eleventh Doctors. The only stories that stayed relatively stable across both rankings for these Doctors are as follows.

For the First Doctor, only 4 out of 29 didn't shift by more than 1 ranking: #2 The Time Meddler, #5 The Tenth Planet (#6 in DWM), #18 The Keys of Marinus, and #20 The Reign of Terror (#19 in DWM) For the Fifth Doctor, we agreed only 5 times out of 20: #1 The Caves of Androzani, #2 The Five Doctors (#3 in DWM), #11 Frontios, #14 Black Orchid, and #17 Arc of Infinity (#16 in DWM) For Eleven, 5 of his 39 stories stayed relatively stable: #1 Vincent and the Doctor (#2 in DWM), #4 The Eleventh Hour (#3 in DWM), #9 Amy's Choice, #14 The Snowmen (#13 in DWM), and #39 The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe.

As you'll see further below, there is usually agreement between both polls about at least one episode that is in the top and bottom 3 or 4 for each Doctor, so these extremes represent the battle over ordering the ones generally ranked in the middle.

We Hate Daleks

As a general trend, Tumblr seems to think less of Dalek stories than the general DWM readership.

Out of 26 stories with Daleks as the primary antagonist, only 8 did not drop by more than 1 slot between the DWM poll and the Tumblr bracket (that is The Chase, Genesis of the Daleks, Remembrance of the Daleks, Dalek, Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways, Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks, The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar, and Eve of the Daleks). DIM/Evolution actually ranked 3 slots higher on Tumblr than the magazine, while TMA/TWF and Eve finished significantly higher on Tumblr than in the magazine, cracking into the top 5 for their respective Doctors.

We Love The Master

Meanwhile, out of 26 stories featuring the Master, either as the primary antagonist or as an important character, only two dropped by more than one place in the rankings (The End of Time and The Power of the Doctor), while the others either stayed put or increased their positions, some by quite a lot (e.g. The Time Monster (up 20 slots in the Third Doctor rankings), The Keeper of Traken (up 8 slots in the Fourth Doctor rankings), Planet of Fire (up 6 spots in the Fifth Doctor rankings), and The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar (up 9 spots in the Twelfth Doctor rankings)).

We Have No Easily Observable Feelings About the Cybermen

Out of 18 Cyberman stories, 9 fell in the rankings between DWM and Tumblr, while 5 stayed within 1 rank of the DWM poll, and 4 rose. If I had to venture a hypothesis based on my unscientific qualitative analysis, it looks like Tumblr marked down most of the Classic Who Cyberman stories (only The Tenth Planet, The Invasion, and Attack staying within 1 rank of the DWM poll), while the only ones that rose in the ranks were New Who stories (Rise/The Age of Steel, Closing Time, Nightmare in Silver, and Dark Water/Death in Heaven-- though of course this last one is also a Master story, which we know we love).

Superlatives

Here are the stories that showed the biggest positive and negative difference in their rankings between the DWM poll and the Tumblr bracket, for each Doctor:

First Doctor

Biggest jump: #10 The Sensorites (up from #27 in DWM) Biggest fall: #28 The Crusade (down from #13 in DWM)

Second Doctor

Biggest jump: #8 The Highlanders (up from #16 in DWM) Biggest fall: #14 The Evil of the Daleks (down from #14 in DWM)

Third Doctor

Biggest jump: #4 The Time Monster (up from #24 in DWM) Biggest fall: #21 Day of the Daleks (down from #11 in DWM)

Fourth Doctor

Biggest jump: #7 The Horns of Nimon (up from #40 in DWM) Biggest fall: #36 The Talons of Weng-Chiang (down from #5 in DWM)

Fifth Doctor

Biggest jump: #8 Planet of Fire (up from #14) Biggest fall: #15 Resurrection of the Daleks (down from #6)

Sixth Doctor

Biggest jump: #1 The Mark of the Rani (up from #5 in DWM) Biggest fall: #6 Revelation of the Daleks (down from #1 in DWM) [NB: not counting each part of Trial, since DWM didn't include them - though The Ultimate Foe ranked #10 on Tumblr while Trial itself ranked #4 in DWM, so that could be another option for this superlative]

Seventh Doctor

Biggest jump: #3 The Happiness Patrol (up from #7 in DWM) Biggest fall: #12 Silver Nemesis (down from #9 in DWM)

Ninth Doctor

Biggest jump: #5 The End of the World (up from #7 in DWM) Biggest fall: #7 Rose (down from #5 in DWM)

Tenth Doctor

Biggest jump: #17 42 (up from #31 in DWM) Biggest fall: #29 The Girl in the Fireplace (down from #7 in DWM) [NB: adventure-showdown split Utopia and The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords where DWM didn't, which both placed above these two stories.]

Eleventh Doctor

Biggest jump: #13 The Rings of Akhaten (up from #34 in DWM) Biggest fall: #36 The Crimson Horror (down from #18 in DWM)

Twelfth Doctor

Biggest jump: #20 The Eaters of Light (up from #30 in DWM) Biggest fall: #18 The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion (down from #7 in DWM)

Thirteenth Doctor

Biggest jump: TIE #1 Demons of the Punjab (up from #5), #2 Spyfall (up from #6), and #3 Eve of the Daleks (up from #7) Biggest fall: #15 Rosa (down from #4) [NB: not counting each part of Flux, since DWM didn't include them - though The Vanquishers ranked #29 on Tumblr while Flux itself ranked #12 in DWM, so that could be another option for this superlative]

Definitive Bests and Worsts

Here, then, are each Doctor's commonly agreed-upon best and worst stories: that is, those stories ranked in each Doctor's top/bottom 10% (minimum 3) in each poll, and where both polls overlap. Lists are alphabetical.

First Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Time Meddler Tumblr: The Edge of Destruction, The Romans DWM: The Dalek Invasion of Earth, The Daleks' Master Plan Worst Tumblr: The Crusade, The Savages, The Smugglers DWM: The Sensorites, The Space Museum, The Web Planet

Second Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The War Games Tumblr: The Enemy of the World, The Mind Robber DWM: The Power of the Daleks, Tomb of the Cybermen Worst Both agree: The Dominators, The Space Pirates Tumblr: The Krotons DWM: The Underwater Menace

Third Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Green Death Tumblr: The Dæmons, The Three Doctors DWM: Inferno, Spearhead from Space Worst Both agree: The Mutants Tumblr: Death to the Daleks, Planet of the Daleks DWM: The Monster of Peladon, The Time Monster

Fourth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: City of Death, Genesis of the Daleks, Robots of Death Tumblr: The Horror of Fang Rock DWM: Pyramids of Mars Worst Both agree: The Power of Kroll, Underworld Tumblr: Nightmare of Eden, Revenge of the Cybermen DWM: The Horns of Nimon, Meglos

Fifth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Caves of Androzani, The Five Doctors Tumblr: Enlightenment DWM: Earthshock Worst Both agree: Time-Flight Tumblr: The Awakening, Four to Doomsday DWM: The King's Demons, Warriors of the Deep

Sixth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Vengeance on Varos Tumblr: The Mark of the Rani, Trial of a Time Lord (considered as a whole) Worst Both agree: Timelash, The Twin Dilemma Tumblr: The Ultimate Evil (specifically) DWM: Attack of the Cybermen

Seventh Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Remembrance of the Daleks, Survival Tumblr: The Happiness Patrol DWM: The Curse of Fenric Worst Both agree: Delta and the Bannermen, Time and the Rani Tumblr: Silver Nemesis DWM: Paradise Towers

Ninth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Bad Wolf/The Parting of Ways, Dalek, The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances Worst Both agree: Aliens of London/World War Three, Boom Town, The Long Game

Tenth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: Blink, Midnight, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead Tumblr: The Fires of Pompeii DWM: Human Nature/The Family of Blood Worst Both agree: The Idiot's Lantern, The Lazarus Experiment Tumblr: The Next Doctor, The Shakespeare Code DWM: Fear Her, Love & Monsters

Eleventh Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: The Eleventh Hour, The Pandorica Opens, Vincent and the Doctor Tumblr: The Doctor's Wife DWM: Day of the Doctor Worst Both agree: The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe Tumblr: The Crimson Horror, Night Terrors, Victory of the Daleks DWM: The Curse of the Black Spot, Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, Nightmare in Silver

Twelfth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: Heaven Sent, Mummy on the Orient Express, World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls Tumblr: The Husbands of River Song DWM: Flatline Worst Both agree: In the Forest of the Night, Kill the Moon, Sleep No More Tumblr: The Lie of the Land DWM: The Woman Who Lived

Thirteenth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

[Villa Diodati gif included because there is no overlap in the two polls' top 3 for Thirteen, however this episode ranked #4 on Tumblr and #2 in DWM, so it is the closest overlap at the top.]

Best Both agree: None! Tumblr: Eve of the Daleks, Demons of the Punjab, Spyfall DWM: Fugitive of the Judoon, The Haunting of Villa Diodati, The Power of the Doctor Worst Both agree: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, Orphan 55 Tumblr: The Vanquishers (on its own) DWM: Legend of the Sea Devils

...What about Eight?

Who said that? I thought you had all gone. You shouldn't scare me like that. Well, you see, the Eighth Doctor only has two televised appearances in which he features, and only one of those was included in the DWM poll. This post is about comparing the two polls. I can't really do anything...

Ah, alright.

Televised Appearances

We ranked The Night of the Doctor above the TV Movie. Night made it all the way to round 6, while the TV Movie was out in Round 2, losing with 266 votes to Jubilee, which then lost to Scherzo in the next round. Night lost to Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways, which had 344 votes to Night's 204.

Audios

Scherzo made it to the quarter-finals of the Tumblr poll! It lost out to Midnight 435 to 581, the first TV episode it encountered in adventure-showdown's very intricate media-segregating bracket.

Caerdroia made it to round 7, losing to Scherzo after it had beaten out Father's Day in round 6 (299-280) and the much-loved SJA episode The Curse of Clyde Langer in round 5.

The Natural History of Fear made it to round 6, finally losing out to Blink (253-352), and making it the top-scoring Eight audio to go out in this round.

The Chimes of Midnight also got to round 6, finally just losing to Remembrance of the Daleks (163-166); in the same round, Zagreus lost to Scherzo (131-210) just after it had beaten Genesis of the Daleks (132-103) in round 5.

The next highest-ranked Eight* audio is Solitaire (a Companion Chronicle, hence the asterisk), which was eliminated in round 5, losing to Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead (180-43).

It's worth noting here, that Doctor Who and the Pirates also made it to round 6, making it the highest-ranked non-Eighth Doctor audio. It lost to City of Death (170-78). The next-highest ranked audios are The Marian Conspiracy (lost in Round 5 to The Wedding of Sarah-Jane Smith), The Holy Terror (lost in Round 5 to The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances), and A Death in the Family (lost in Round 5 to The Natural History of Fear). Congratulations to Evelyn Smythe.

Novels

The EDA Alien Bodies managed to make it to round 6, finally being eliminated by Turn Left with 145 votes to 264. It had just beaten out Time Crash in the previous round. This makes it the highest-ranked Doctor Who novel overall, according to this Tumblr tournament.

The next-highest novel for the Eighth Doctor was Unnatural History, which was defeated in round 5 by The Chimes of Midnight.

Below that, there were five EDAs eliminated in round 4:

Interference (lost with 41 votes to Scherzo's 85)

Mad Dogs and Englishmen (lost with 38 votes to The Marian Conspiracy's 56)

The Adventuress of Henrietta Street (lost with 28 votes to A Death in the Family's 54)

Camera Obscura (lost with 27 votes to Lungbarrow's 47)

The Scarlet Empress (lost with 22 votes to The Chimes of Midnight's 102)

Comics

I hadn't actually been tracking any of this Eight stuff, so I'm having to squint through the backlog and this is already much too long. So you're only getting two: The Land of Happy Endings is the Eighth Doctor comic that made it the farthest in the Tumblr competition, being eliminated in round 3 by An Adventure in Space and Time (46 votes to 95). The Flood also made it to round 3, where it was eliminated by the Thirteenth Doctor comic Old Friends, gaining 39 votes against Old Friends' 47.

#doctor who #classic who #big finish #eighth doctor #jodie whittaker #thirteenth doctor #christopher eccleston #ninth doctor #many interesting things here #will reblog with analysis

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freshbakedbreadstick · 10 months

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No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Prologue

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: After running for so long, it was time to come home

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers and angst. Mentions of death, mental health issues, and toxic relationships. It’s not graphic or detailed in this one but I just want to warn you now that this series will deal with extremely heavy topics as it goes on (similar to the show).

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Hey bestiesssssssssss!!! This is my first ever series and actually first ever written work that I'm posting lol and I'm so excited for it!!! I'm starting off with a series because i had this really good and angsty idea while reading ANOTHER fantastic piece of work and was like “fine…….. I'll do it myself” so i'm here now writing it lmao anyways i'm starting off posting my fanfics with Mikey and Carmy because i've been a little too focused on The Bear lately n love them so much. Chapter one of this series should be coming up this time next week so dw abt waiting so long for an update!! Anyways i hope you all enjoyyyy <3

MASTERLIST

The cool Chicago night air nips at you as it blows by, rolling along the exposed skin of your arms. It was 3 in the morning and the street where The Original Beef of Chicagoland stood was empty and silent.

The building stood before you, quiet and lifeless. It was odd seeing it so silent and it almost seemed… peaceful. But one glance at the rusting sign that seemed to be barely hanging onto the building made the façade of tranquility fall.

The knot in your stomach grew as your eyes traced over the rusted sign and then onto the walls that showed cracks and age. The sidewalk wasn’t any better with uneven cement and haphazard patching. Just then, a piece of trash rolled by the curb, coming from the alley right next to The Beef.

It was just like how you remembered it.

The wear and tear was what originally made you appreciate it. It showed use and love, the same way that laugh lines around a person’s mouth showed you that they lived a life full of smiles and laughter. The walls were in use as hundreds filed in and out of the building for their favorites, every week. The floor was worn away underneath the soles of families, drunk friends, older couples, working folk, and more. The ungentrified building made the whole thing feel nostalgic, despite not being a building you were around as a child. It had felt… familiar in a both comforting and melancholic way.

But now, seeing the building, especially with its marks of age, made your blood run like ice through your veins. It made you shiver, despite it being September in Chicago.

What once was a warm and inviting place felt cold and even scary.

It had been months since you spoke to the Berzattos. Actually, it had been months since you were in Chicago at all. About 8 months, that is. You left in February after… everything and never looked back. The east felt too familiar at that point, so you traveled west.

You chased the highs and avoided the lows, moving from one place to another until you settled in a quiet town where you felt loved. But that love didn’t come without its challenges and when it got hard, you did what you knew best and that was leaving.

So you left with no clue as to where you were going, too proud but mainly too afraid to reach out to the family you had in Chicago. You drove with a car full of junk you couldn't even stand looking at anymore for all the memories of the past couple of months attached to them made your stomach churn. With no place to go, you found yourself, 5 days after leaving and living in your car, sitting on the hood of your 2002 Chevy Impala, stopped and watched the sunset of the west for the last time at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with your head hurting and eyes puffy. It was then when your phone buzzed.

The cracked screen blinked brightly as you glanced over at it.

‘Please come home, we miss you - Nat’

Your mouth dried as you read the message. Your heart pounded in your ears as your eyes raced over the words over and over and over.

‘Please come home, we miss you’

‘Please come home, we miss-

Another message popped up then, interrupting your reading and making you jump.

‘I promise it’s okay’

Your hands trembled. How Sugar got your number after you changed it twice to avoid your ex from the west was a mystery but it almost felt like divine intervention as you read it under the glow of the cotton candy clouds in the sky.

‘Come home’

So you made the decision to go back.

To go home.

But this decision didn’t mean that you were leaving right away; for two months you practically lived in motel rooms and in your car, pacing back and forth for hours in parking lots, empty hallways, and tiny motel rooms at the thought of facing everyone again. Would they be upset? Angry? Sad? Would they hate you? Welcome you with open arms? Especially after abandoning them the way you did?

Some nights were spent breathing deeply and slowly, desperately trying to get your heart to beat at a reasonable pace and other nights were spent with tears streaming down your cheeks. You almost even decided to just not come home at all; it felt like moving out of the country and assuming a new identity would be easier to deal with than going home.

But you got yourself together and after pawning everything you didn’t mind parting with for cash, you drove with a lighter trunk and a lighter heart across the country and eastward toward Illinois.

Before you knew it, the giant ‘WELCOME TO ILLINOIS, THE LAND OF LINCOLN’ sign had appeared in your vision. It greeted you like an old friend, making your eyes sting and your chest tighten as your car zoomed by it.

Two hours away from Chicago, your stomach would not stop growling so you decided to stop and grab a bite to eat. After settling your car at a nearby park next to an empty bench, you got off and focused a bit too much on grabbing your belongings to notice what your surroundings looked like.

It wasn’t until you had sat down and ripped the bag of food open, when the smell of a salami and mozzarella sub wafted in the air, perking you up and prompting you to smile softly, that you glanced up. Over the dark green shrubs and still water of Peoria Lake were cotton candy clouds, nearly identical to the ones that you had seen while sitting on the hood of your car, terrified and hoping for a sign, any sign, that what you were doing was the right thing.

Five minutes later, your car was back on the highway and speeding towards Chicago.

You stayed over at your parents’ house that night. They were overjoyed to see their child. Your mother cried, holding onto you as your father rubbed your back, comfortingly. Part of you wanted to, so badly, melt into their arms, but another part of you reminded you of the last time you were here. Despite the furniture being different and the decorations being rearranged, your body twitched as it remembered the exact emotions and position you were in when you got the news.

The news that your boyfriend, Michael Berzatto, was found dead.

You couldn’t sleep that night, nor the next, or even the one after that. You got a combined total of about 15 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours, making you look and feel exhausted. But your mind was the only thing that wasn’t exhausted from replaying the memory over and over and over.

About 5 days after you arrived, you got another message from Sugar. This time, a pit formed in your stomach as you read it.

‘Hey, it’s me again! Can you swing by The Beef tomorrow? I'm working there now and would love to see you. I’m sorry this is on such short notice but I've been crazy busy and I heard you were in town. I really want to see you and if you can’t do tomorrow, let me know so we can plan another day.

We really do miss you.’

You rock your jaw and put your phone down on the edge of the twin mattress you sat on, in your childhood bedroom. Right then, your mom gently knocks on your bedroom door before pushing it open.

“Have you talked to Natalie at all yet?” she said softly, clasping her hands together and leaning against the door frame.

You huffed and smiled weakly, of course your mom would mention something to her, that’s how she knew you were here. While your mom respected you doing things on your own time, she also knew that you needed a little push to make that connection.

“Uhm… yea she just texted me. I uh, i might see her tomorrow at The Beef,” you murmured with a shaky breath.

Thank god Sugar ended up being the one to text you instead of you texting her.

Your mom smiled sweetly, “I think you should go, sweetheart. I know it seems scary but… I think it’s time you saw them…”

Nodding, you turn and crawl up to the pillows of your bed. With a sigh, you lay down and close your eyes, exhausted.

From your door frame, your mom quietly watched you and sighs softly. She slowly grabs your door and closes it behind her as she leaves. The hallway light goes off, leaving you and your thoughts alone in the pitch black dark.

And here you were, a couple hours after you read her message, standing across The Beef on a cool Chicago night with the air nipping at your exposed skin as it blows by. You left in such a rush that you forgot to bring a hoodie and didn’t even bother to change from your thin pajama pants and loose old t-shirt. All you did was throw on your shoes and climb out your window, car keys clutched in your sweaty palm, like you used to do in high school to sneak off with Mikey.

But those days seemed so far away now the same way that The Beef seemed so far away. It felt as if the trek across the street actually spanned thousands of miles and not a minute walk.

So you sighed and turned around, walking down the sidewalk and back to your car. Who knew what time it was anymore, but you knew that you really needed to get rest tonight… you had a big day tomorrow.

#the bear #carmern berzatto x reader #michael berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #mikey berzatto #richie jerimovich #richie jerimovich x reader #carmy the bear #richie the bear #mikey the bear #carmy berzatto imagine #richie berzatto imagine #mikey berzatto imagine #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto

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statueofeden · 7 months

Text

Eras of L4D2!CATS Art (and Nellis Cats)

(CW: badly drawn blood, gore (its a zombie game haha), mental health briefly mentioned (minimal!).

Hello, I'm Eden. (They/them) I'm 22 years old and been playing L4D2 since it came out for xbox 360 in 2009 (I was 8 - going on 9). I started shipping Nellis when I was about 11. It was in fact my first ship ever.

I decided to make this lil thing because i've seen some interest in my recent post with my Nellis!cats :P.

In 2013, I hated my human art so I decided to design and make as cats so I could draw them easier. I use to use drawcast on my ipod touch.

I would finally get a more stable style and made more of my fav ship.

Later on that year, my mom gave me her old laptop and I got heavily into animation memes and computer digital art.

my first computer drawing:

My first animation:

youtube

I was hooked. A few months later, Little kid me decided to play around with an AU.

Heres more info about the AU before we move on:

(AU animation Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsesYjlm_htaAxclwRcBg6uhhjtQEN3OY )

I dropped my first banger of the AU on Dec 14, 2013.

youtube

2014-2015:

I was obsessed with drawing Nick and Ellis as cats still. I had made many animations and drawings of them.

Before I was diagnose with BPD, I had an episode and created this gem it like to mention :

youtube

I had also dropped this banger way before that (important later, I promise)

youtube

I ended the year off with a remake of an old Nellis drawing I made in 2013.

^(2015)

^(2013)

2016 - 2017:

At the end of 2015, I got a graphics tablet for Christmas. Legit my second drawing was Ellis!cat.

Sadly in 2016-2017 I was going through alot and also developed a new hyperfixation on fallout 4. I kinda forgot about l4d2 otherthan a few mentions of it here and there. Honorable mentions of art:

2018-2019:

I was going through alot during this time in my life.

I would redesign my most of l4d2!cats completely. I highly preferred natural colors over the other designs.

L4D2!Cats:

L4D!cats:

Honorable mentions of animations:

youtube

2019 - now:

Im still making l4d2!cats content. I adore them still and still plan on drawing them until I cant draw no more.

2021 art:

2022 art:

2023 art:

Remember when I told you to keep the "get out alive" video in your mind. Well, Ive very recently have sketched out a remake of it. (Come see the improvement!)

youtube

^(2015)

youtube

^(2023)

Welp, I think that's all! I hope you've enjoyed this post! Any questions, feel free to ask! I may or may not have answers.

Some of you may know me, some of you may not. Either way, thanks for reading and sharing the love for left 4 dead with me! I hope to share more soon! <3

#left 4 dead 2 #nick x ellis #ellis l4d2 #nellis #nick l4d2 #catified #left 4 dead #l4d2 cats #my art #statueofeden #animation #meowchirp #art journey #Youtube #SoE.imp

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furymint · 4 months

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2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

#ngl writing this out made me feel like #i reopened a lot of grief about my ability to work and create #and i need to walk away from it before i cry even more lol #thank u to my fc for still being the place #i love to visit when i wake up #even though all of us a struggling a lot #with life and ingame motivation #brianna babbles

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loganlostitall · 7 months

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10 Questions Game

Tagged by: @murdadixon 🙄🖤

1. What is your phone background?

Lock screen - Negan Smith

Home screen - Andy Biersack

2. Who is your favorite singer?

My favorite stand-alone singer is probably Post Malone but this is such a difficult question. I know this wasn’t asked but my favorite rapper is, without contest, Eminem. Always has been, always will be. Yk who’s growing on me as a singer, though? Ricky Montgomery. He’s slowly climbing my Top Listened!

3. Favorite Band?

Also difficult. I love so many. I’m currently hyper-fixated on Black Veil Brides once again, for the millionth time, so I will tentatively list them as my favorite band for now with the begrudged knowledge that this answer is subject to change at any time. I have been listening religiously for a decade, though.

4. Who is your favorite character of all time?

I hate you for asking me this! I have so many favorites but after sitting here and grueling over an answer, I have decided that it’s an impossible call-off between MCU Thor and Lip Gallagher. I have characters that I love a whole lot and go in and out of having a special interest on, such as Spider-Man, Batman, Deadpool, Moon Knight, Jason Todd, but they’re not at the top. I can’t even say that my current favorite character is actually my favorite character because I’d be lying. But my favorite character as of right now is Negan.

5. What is your favorite book?

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. Until the day I die. I read it and it completely changed my life, seeing a book with stories so similar to how I’d grown up. I wrote passively, as an interest, but after reading this in 2 days (when I was supposed to read it with the class over the course of a month) I decided then and there that I wanted to actually become an author.

6. What is your favorite movie?

It’s been Avatar by James Cameron for almost 14 years now, since the day it first came out, but I think that the original Scream is finally starting to try and take its place as my fave. I suppose we shall see! 😩

7. Favorite Actor or Actress?

Ummmm, shit. Can’t choose. Jeremy Allen White, Chris Hemsworth, Matthew Lillard, Evan Peters. It’s an extensive list but they’re the ones who come to mind first. A lot of my favorites have already passed, like Heath Ledger, Chadwick Boseman, Robin Williams, Cameron Boyce, Angus Cloud, etc.

8. Favorite YouTuber?

I don’t really watch YouTube anymore—in fact I never got into YouTuber’s the way everyone else my age did, so all I can tell you is that Dan and Phil were the only people I watched on YT when I was younger. I think a little tiny bit of their gay rubbed off on me 🤔

9. Do you drink?

Errrmmmm. Not often. I used to drink way too much as a teenager and had a problem so now I really only do it if there’s some kind of occasion. Scared for my 21st birthday in November if I’m tbh with y’all.

10. If you were an animal, what would you be?

A few of my friends and I came to the conclusion that I’m a raccoon, but that I shouldn’t say that because it would be too easy for ppl to call me a POC slur (I’m Mixed) and I thought that was hysterical LMAO iykyk

Tagging @hopefulatrocity @lanadelnegan and @sonsofnight y’all are legit my only Tumblr friends

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voxofthevoid · 9 months

Note

hello, I am here again to throw happy confetti at you for your wip wednesdays. primarily:

omg not the infinity over the butthole!!! ahah, gojou's such a tease. actually though, ever since that one recent manga chapter where yuuji just knows sensei's got his cursed technique up, even at a distance, I've been craving more content that plays around with infinity in their one-on-one interactions. so I was very excited to see this lol. I'll also say that it was super intriguing to see the word count split up by acts! and each excerpt was *chef's kiss* as always. I am so eager to see the kidnapping fic in its full glory. thank you again for sharing these <3

(I typed up a whole reply to this and then Tumblr fucking ate it. Round 2. Hellsite.)

^ me rn (ignoring the Tumblr-directed rage)

I was cackling while writing the scene with Infinity over the asshole, even if the scene itself had a wholly different tone, and I'm delighted you find it funny! I'm in the same boat about Gojou's use of Infinity when it comes to Yuuji; I've been rabid about it since Episode 3, when Gojou lets Yuuji hug him and rub their faces together (MAPPA, I owe you my life), and the "give it to me" panel just made me more insane about the whole thing. I've been working it into pretty much every fic, I write, and I'll probably continue doing that, but Infinity: Literal Asshole Edition may remain my best work 🤣

And thank you so much!! I might start posting it in August or September (if you can hear disembodied screaming in the wind, ignore it; it's only my common sense's death throes), depending on when I finish it.

By my current estimate, I have 4 chapters left to write and 1 chapter to rewrite. The total will come up to 18 chapters minimum, and at my one-chapter-a-month pace, it'll still take me 1.5 years to post the whole thing, assuming there will be no interruptions. I'd like to get started as soon as I can in that case, but between the a/b/o role reversal (6 chapters), the de-aged Gojou series (17 chapters across 3 fics), and the time travel threesome (8 chapters), my JJK schedule is already full for at least half a year. I could wedge one more fic in, but it'll involve prodding at my overall posting schedule. Let's see!

Thanks again!!

#anon #i love my anons #fic: every version of the story #goyuu

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muggle-born-princess · 11 months

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I’M BACK EVERYONE!

Hello everyone! It’s me, Muggle-Born-Princess and I just wanna say that I’m officially back from my 1 month hiatus!

It honestly feels really great to be back on here. I know I have a lot to take care from answering questions in my inbox to writing my Chloe and Zoe AUs on @pro-bee-sisters to posting more content on my art and writing blog.

Speaking of content, I do wanna point something out: I’m really sorry to say this, but after Season 5 of Miraculous and the Awakening movie, I am officially gonna be done with the show for good. I’m really sorry to those who only followed me for Miraculous content only, but it’s the truth. After hearing about how the season has been so far with multiple retcons, terrible writing choices, and character flanderization 24/7, I think it’s about time I say goodbye to the show.

But,

That’s not gonna happen anytime soon! 😊

Yep, even though I will be closing the book on Miraculous, I won’t do it immediately for the following reasons:

1. I will be rewatching the whole series before I start S5 as a whole just to see what aged poorly or what still holds up. (I think we all know the answers to those both. 🙄)

2. Once I start Season 5, I plan to do some multiple rewrites and AUs for it. Mainly for my second arc for The Lost Miraculous, despite that being in progress still.

3. Speaking of rewrites and AUs, that’s the other thing I wanna do before I leave the show for good. I especially wanna do my AUs involving Chloe and Zoe (i.e. The Queen Bee and the Vesperia & The Bee Sisters Duo!); some Chlonette in there because they’re my now my OTP (i.e. Bug & Wasp Game); and some other characters that deserve focus and potential too (i.e. A Fox and Her Club which features Lila and Sabrina as a duo; Pink and Purple Love Square which involves a Love Square between Rose/Pigella and Juleka/Purple Tigress)

4. I am super excited for the Awakening movie! The trailer and animation look so promising and since Astruc himself will not be apart of it whatsoever, it gives me hope that maybe the show will get back on its feet and if not, then we can officially call the movie the new canon if it’s any good!

I also do wanna point out that I also wanna focus on other fandoms I’m a part of and do more work for them. (i.e. Super Mario, Total Drama, Monster High, etc...) That’s why I also have my art and writing blogs, so I can focus more on those than Miraculous. Don’t get me wrong, I will still do fanwork for Miraculous, but I also wanna expand myself to other interests just to see if anyone else is interested.

Now that brings me up to this:

Will I stop following MLB-related blogs?

Well, that depends. I do have a lot of Miraculous-related blogs I adore (@immaturityofthomasastruc; @miraculousbeezcentral; @emdoddles; and @a-chlolix-blog being my Top 4), but here’s the deal: If they’re still active, then I will still follow them just for their content. However, if they end up retiring from the show just like me, then I don’t see the point of still following them.

It’s been a really long run being a part of the Miraculous fandom, but I think it’s about time I say goodbye to it. It had a very long run for about 8 and a half years with 5 seasons, 124 episodes, 2 specials, an upcoming movie, and more to come. I say it did good for what it became.

Which leads me to my final question:

What’s gonna happen to me now that I will be done with Miraculous?

Well obviously, I still will make fan content for it and sometimes, you will see me with a Miraculous avatar on here to dA to AO3. But, as I said, I will not only focus on other fandoms and expand them even more with their own fan content, but I will also be making a poll asking my followers what’s the next magical girl series I should explore next.

As much as I had my problems with Miraculous itself, I will admit that it did give me a new outlook on the magical girl genre in general, and it made me really happy to see that I can learn to understand what the genre is all about, and what made it so popular to begin with.

All in all, while I will miss those who I befriended in this fandom, I need to move on and find out what other new things that are out there that I will like~

Thank you all so much for reading. Please don’t forget to follow me on my other 3 blogs:

@princessgemsart (Art Blog)

@pro-bee-sisters (Miraculous/Chloe Bourgeois & Zoe Lee-dedicated blog)

@pens-and-gems (Writing Blog)

And remember, you can find me on these other websites on my Link.tree (PLEASE REMEMBER TO BE 18 OR OLDER FOR THOSE THAT SAY 18+)

Thank you all so much for reading and understanding!

Hope you all take care!

UPDATE:

The poll for the Magical Girl shows has been posted! Please remember to vote!

#announcement #blog update #miraculous ladybug #monster high #super mario #disney #ever after high #total drama #mortal kombat #studio ghibli #magical girl #bratz #barbie #mattel #mga entertainment #rainbow high #doll fandom #nintendo

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procrastinatorproject · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,878 times in 2022

48 posts created (3%)

1,830 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tehriz

@regionalpancake

@thelaithlyworm

@jazzfic

@stra-tek

I tagged 1,875 of my posts in 2022

#star trek picard - 443 posts

#funny stuff - 442 posts

#cristobal rios - 152 posts

#star trek picard season 2 - 115 posts

#star trek - 110 posts

#picardpositivity - 98 posts

#i have such talented friends! - 90 posts

#picard season 2 spoilers - 85 posts

#cats - 76 posts

#tumblr - 75 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#and how else are you going to share bits of stories that you won't post for months or years if ever because finishing things is hard 🙈😅

My Top Posts in 2022:

I spent quite some time yesterday yelling about Star Trek with the wonderful @regionalpancake and @curator-on-ao3, and I need to share their comedic genius with the world!

We were talking about how, if the Zhat Vash are so extremely opposed to synthetic life and any form of AI, could they possibly manage to hack the androids on Mars and to cause them to go rogue? To which Curator commented:

“I’m an iPhone user and I couldn’t hack an android!”

This was followed some time later by a discussion about how in recent Trek, there has been an increasing distinction between People Who Matter and Those Who Don’t. And how its encumbent upon the people who are less significant for the fate of the world to sacrifice themselves for the Important People.

With regards to this, Pancakes observed of Rose (from Dr Who), a character who thinks she is unimportant and whom the Doctor tells that There Are No Unimportant People:

“If she were a Star Trek character, Rose would have been cannon fodder.”

Curator: “You mean... canon fodder? :D”

I don’t know if these are funny to anyone but me, but I laughed so hard I had to go find my asthma spray. So I needed to share XD

59 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

Holo-Tech Database

Over the last seven or so months, I have watched through every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It’s the first time I’ve seen the entire series, there were quite a few episodes in the later seasons I’d never seen before. Quite an enjoyable experience on the whole.

But because I’m me, of course I didn’t just watch TNG. Instead, I took notes every single time the holodeck or any other piece of holo-technology played a part in the plot, were the setting for even the briefest of scenes, or so much as got mentioned. Essentially, I’m building towards a database of every little scrap of canonical information about holo-technology that I can get my hand on. And this was a start.

I haven’t had the time or energy to look through all of my notes in detail. There is a lot of information in there already. Of course, I’ll only be able to draw any real conclusions once I add in all the data from DS9, Voyager, and PIC, (since I’m interested in the state of technology at the time La Sirena is in operation, because of course that’s what this is about), but it’ll be quite a while before I get there.

So, in lieu of any detailed analysis, here are some quick impressions of my first foray into holo-episode-tracking!

[Image ID: a table showing the number of total holo-episodes for TNG is 58, and breaking that number down for each season. Season 1 has 10 episodes, season 2 has 8, season 3 has 6, season 4 has 9, season 5 and 6 both have 8, and season 7 has 9 episodes. /end ID]

See the full post

65 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

30 Days of Picard Postivity

With just over 30 days to go, the premiere of Star Trek: Picard season 2 (3rd March in the US, 4th March internationally) is fast approaching, and I for one cannot wait to get back into the world I fell in love with two years ago. Thirty days is quite some time, however, and even though new trailers and promo pics seem to be dropping daily, I felt like we could use something to tide us over until March.

After the long hiatus, I think this is the perfect time to revisit all the things we enjoyed about season 1. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has forgotten a lot of the details of those episodes, and who would love to see some of the wonderful characters, locations, and stories back on my dash. So, without further ado:

ProcrastinatorProject Proudly Presents:

30 Days of Picard Positivity

See the full post

70 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Massive Picard Season 2 Spoilers Ahead

So the latest episode of The Ready Room, the Star Trek recap show hosted by Wil Wheaton, had a preview of Season 2 of Star Trek: Picard. It's interviews with all of the main actors and they explain in some detail where they're characters are at at the beginning of season 2.

It puts a lot of shots from the trailers in perspective and I have a lot of thoughts that I want to share, but because this is a very, very explicit spoilery preview, I'm putting both the video and my initial reaction under the cut.

Anyone in the US (or with a decent VPN): You can find the full Ready Room episode on the Paramount+ youtube page, but I'm not going to link it here, because, youk know, tumblr 😋

See the full post

73 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just had a realization about why Agnes Jurati’s story in Star Trek: Picard season 2 feels so wrong to me, and I am going to inflict it on all of you!

Spoilers for the entirety of season 2 ahead! CW: Mention of depression, PTSD, anxiety, and emotional manipulation

Also: CW long post

(NB: I’m going to completely disregard the discrepancy in Agnes’s character between seasons 1 and 2. I think when you take Agnes’s story and development from the first season into account, her “arc” in season 2 falls apart completely. But for the sake of this argument, I’m going to meet the season 2 writers on their terms. I’m going to ignore the character of season 1 Agnes, and instead will simply look at season 2′s Jurati to explain why I think the story the writers gave her falls flat.)

I was taking notes for a way-too-long essay about my problems with PIC season 2 (which I may or may not write eventually), and I was trying to put into words why it always irks me when people say merging with the Borg Queen was a satisfying end to Jurati’s arc.

What I was never able to put my finger on until now is that when the Borg Queen and Jurati merge at the end of episode 9, that’s not actually the culmination of Jurati’s arc. It’s the Queen’s.

See the full post

74 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i want to point out that of the almost 2000 posts on my blog this year #THREE were not tagged! THREE! 🤣😂🤣😂#i knew i was an obsessive tagger but i didn't think my record was *that* good #(not that most of the tagging is particularly consistent....)#also: so many of my friends! 🤩#also also: 'star trek picard' beat out 'funny stuff' by ONE post #at least i am balanced? 🤣🙈#anyway. this is fun!

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scarletslippers · 1 year

Text

I posted 2,590 times in 2022

That's 568 more posts than 2021!

210 posts created (8%)

2,380 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@flythesail

@winterlovesong1

@scarletslippers

@nacefanfic-quotes

@aceandnancy

I tagged 2,563 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#nancy drew cw - 1,504 posts

#nace - 1,241 posts

#nancy and ace - 1,103 posts

#nace fanfiction - 586 posts

#fic rec - 332 posts

#my fic - 262 posts

#writing things - 140 posts

#nancy drew spoilers - 128 posts

#nancy drew - 83 posts

#six of crows - 79 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#‘wow she’s so amazing and strong and i love her and she’s taking on so much and she’s going to crack soon let me help you carry’ it face

My Top Posts in 2022:

The Worthwhile Fight

Pure speculation for 3x13 based on the theory that Ace might have the last piece of Charity’s soul and spiraling on this promo still with @flythesail

The Copperhead pursues its final victim. Nancy only hopes she’s not too late.

Read on AO3

“Ace! Ace, stop!” Nancy jumps from Nick’s truck while it’s still in motion, racing to catch up with Ace as he proceeds steadily toward the Copperhead. Nancy can feel her heart thundering in her chest and rising in her throat and roaring in her ears.

She skids in front of him, into his line of vision, but his eyes are horrible. Blank. Empty. This isn’t her Ace.

Not that she’s even sure he’s hers to call her own yet.

“Ace!” She takes a forced step backwards as he proceeds, reaching out instinctually into the space between them, but still afraid to close the gap. “Ace, please.”

Her voice cracks on her plea and there’s a spark of something, a glimmer, a glimpse of him in his eyes again. The flame of hope blooms hot and bright in her chest.

He’s in there. He’s fighting.

Read the rest

90 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

You know what the real tragedy is?

Coroner’s Assistant Ace having to put on his own lanyard.

106 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

Okay so. I’ve been tag ranting since ✨feelings reveal✨ about how Ace holds space for Nancy.

(I mean, I wrote a fic that’s literally 20k of Ace holding space….)

And this big ending, miscommunication, fight, protect your love, scene is even more of an extension of this, and really shows his growth and his confidence.

Ace waits. He looks at this woman that he loves and he watches her try so very hard to continually hold herself together for other people. Because other people ask things of her constantly. So Ace doesn’t. Ace waits. He gives her space.

“When you’re ready to not avoid….”

And he does it again here. Sure, it’s partially fueled by his own struggles with self-worth, but he lets her do it.

Until a point. Because he sees her struggling, and it’s breaking his heart because he knows if she just trusted him with her burden, they could be happy - “I can help you carry it.” (He doesn’t really know the half of it, but still.)

He waits for a month, until he can’t let her fear hold them back anymore, not when “there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

But the way he goes about this: “Can I tell you what I hoped the reason was?” He’s still holding space. And she shakes her head because she knows what he’s going to say, she knows that he knows her. But she’s petrified, because how can she hide that she loves him when he’s talking about it like it’s a given. Like it’s fact.

And normally her he’d stop, right? He’d accept her refusal and give her that space. Especially when he was feeling low about himself. But his personal growth? His desire to a better for person for himself, for her, for them? It gives him the confidence to act on things he’s known about her and them for a long time.

He’s fighting for them. She can’t, so he will.

And her reaction only makes him want to fight more. Because he’s the person that does hold space for her emotions, he sees them, he recognizes them, even when she’s trying to hide. He obviously thinks part of the reason she’s running is because she’s afraid, (and on some level he’s right) but he can tell there’s a layer of pain below the surface and it scares the hell out of him.

He counters every attempt she makes to put him off, because he knows that this is what she does. She deflects. And he keeps giving her opportunities to tell the truth. “I don’t believe you. There’s something else going on here.”

“Are you in trouble?” Again, he gives her the opportunity to say ‘no’, even when he knows that something is up. She leaves that apartment fast, but those tears start before the door is closed.

I mean, look. It’s no secret that I am all about the Established Nace Agenda™️, and I will be rewatching The Scene for several million years, but S4 will be yearning, pining, feral Nace fighting for each other and I am here for it.

Thoughts on how Nancy will fight for them coming up in Part 2 .

106 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

Do you ever just rewatch Whisper Box and think about how while everyone else is arguing about crash carts, and epinephrine, and supernatural vs. science, Ace is just holding Nancy’s head and neck to protect her and make sure she doesn’t hurt herself and staring at her the entire time?

Because I do.

108 notes - Posted July 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Now the other man that holds space for Nancy is Carson.

Carson knows her better than anyone, and it really shows in their last conversation. It’s a nice contrast to her conversation with Ace, because as soon as he gives her the opening, “If there’s anything else...you need to talk about”, she starts crying. Here’s the space for her to be vulnerable right now.

She’s been walking around with the knowledge that she can’t have the man she loves, fighting to keep him alive and she’s about to crack. So when her father, whom she trusts so much, gives her an opening, she’s going to take it. Because she can’t talk about it with the one person she really wants to.

There’s also a whole parallel here to Nancy choosing Ace in 2x12, compared to choosing him here and then realizing she can’t selfishly prioritize him and them over the whole town and going back on her choice. Given his reaction in 2x12, if he knew the choice she’s making, I think he would be proud. (Cut to Nancy asking more than once, how many people died in the tidal wave.)

Its so much. She’s been carrying this alone, for a month, trying to preserve this gorgeous future she got to see for everyone else, even if her own piece of it is gone. “In order to save the town I gave up control of my fate. And I lied to the man that I love to save his life. And now I have to spend the rest of mine paying this terrible price.”

Now Nancy’s still grieving. Grieving Ace, grieving her future, grieving the honesty and openness her and Ace share. Because even if she had chosen Ace, if they had survived the veil opening, she would have been wracked with guilt. And at some point Ace would have asked and she would have told him. So she made the right choice, and now it’s going to haunt her forever.

She’s not in a place to problem solve yet. And Carson meets her where she is, trying to provide comfort, but he’s also not entirely sure what’s going on. “I’d say there’s so much in life we can’t control, but there’s so much we can. And sometimes things aren’t as bad as they seem.”

Which is kind of a platitude, right? But he doesn’t have much to go on. And while Nancy’s remark is clear to the audience, it’s not super clear to Carson. He doesn’t know that this is an ongoing lie. That this is a forever lie.

Until Nancy compares it to Kate. Carson still doesn’t have the facts, but he understands the gravity. And the first thing he does is explain to Nancy that even knowing the ending - which in hindsight he does, and which, in the present, Nancy does with Ace - it was still worth it to fight. “I don’t regret trying. And I don’t regret loving her, even if it meant having to lose her.” It was still worth it to love her.

Now he probably could have been a little more explicit, but this is Nancy. And she’s being pretty darn vulnerable right now. So if he comes out swinging with a well-meant you and Ace are meant to be together, or just go talk to him, it’s probably not going to go well.

Not to mention that Carson, as a lawyer, knows he’s not in possession of the facts here, so making an argument right now isn’t in his best interests, or Nancy’s. He doesn’t really know what he should be persuading Nancy of. All he knows is how to meet her in her grief. Which he didn’t used to be able to do. But now he does.

Nancy is the one to bring it up. She’s grappling with the idea of soulmates, because that’s very much what this is, her and Ace. The writers are calling them star-crossed, and they are. But it begs the question, if you lose your soulmate, what then? Shouldn’t that be it?

But maybe it’s not? Because she has this real, personal, example of soulmates in Carson and Kate to look to, to follow. Now, maybe Carson uses the term soulmate in more of its colloquial sense, as a connection, rather than Ace/Nancy’s we’re literally fated (and now we’re doomed). But it’s simple and personal and lovely, and it’s the road map Nancy has for love.

So after Carson talks about how worth it it loving Kate was, how she was his soulmate, he has to bring up the elephant in the room. Jean. Because he’s not living life alone. He’s trying to find happiness again. Nancy doesn’t explicitly ask, but it’s implied.

So he sticks to to the question she’s really asking - what does this mean for me? What does a future look like if it’s empty of love? How do you face a future, knowing you’re going to live it alone?

And this is his answer: “I choose to believe it is possible to live a good life, even without a soulmate.” Which is really beautiful advice to give your daughter, when she’s telling you she might have to lose how you lost. To tell her that life can still be full and beautiful after loss and grief.

It’s devastating to hear as a viewer, because obviously I do not want to imagine Nancy being happy after Ace dies. But for Nancy as a character in this moment with her father? This is what she needs to hear.

And again it’s Nancy that brings it up. “Maybe we get more than one?”

Is she already looking ahead for a replacement? No, obviously not. But for the girl who has been “alone her whole life”, who has been left time and time again by people dying, often because of her, she’s terrified. She’s terrified to live a life alone without Ace, dooming him to death because she loves him, and being forced to live with that crippling grief and guilt the rest of her life.

She’s not looking for a Plan B. She’s looking for a spark of hope.

And Carson gives to her. Nancy asks “Maybe we get more than one?” and Carson says “Yeah, maybe we get more than one.” It’s a quiet reassurance passed between them. It feels very much like Nancy reassuring Bess in 3x07 that “goodbye doesn’t mean you’re going to be alone.”

And when he says it, Nancy crumbles. She’s devastated at the prospect of it. At the idea that she will lose Ace, will be forced to face the world without him, and will have to look for happiness all over again. She’s afraid. And she’s looking for something. Some kind of reassurance that her life could still be good. That it could still be happy.

But Carson ends on the call to action. He’s assuaged her fears a bit, and now he’s reminding her of who she is — Yes, Nancy, if things fall apart, your life could still be happy. But you still need to fight. You are still in control and it’s not like you to roll over and just let things happen.

It’s a call to arms, to action, that reminder that “you control your own fate. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

And she’s going to do just that. The whole ending scene in the cemetery was my girl. Blue roadster, black beanie, flashlight. She’s been knocked down, but not out. She’s going to remind herself of who she is.

And it’s going to give her strength to fight for the man she loves. To fight for his life, and to fight for their future.

See Part 1 for how Ace will fight.

Thanks @flythesail for her contributions to the soulmate thoughts.

112 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

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#wow I do love this #fun to see my meta and text posts getting the love #and I do love that fic #a long tag about Ace’s Nancy face?#story checks out #also check out soc sneaking into the top ten!#the power of helnik and my crows #year in review 2022

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