#its bobby crying hours u guys

[ravenadottir]

can u make wht bobby gonna do if mc was pregnant, i bet its gonna be rlly cuteeee

🥰🥰🥰 ok, that’s pretty cute!

and i didn’t exactly write tons of pregnancy stuff with him in “pastry cuddle”, so let’s dive in!

- watch him jump around, spin you in the air in his arms, stay hours on the phone, yelling and skipping like a kid who just got a christmas ps5 because you told him you’re pregnant

- mentally doing severe mental math to see what he needs to buy every month from now to eternity

- panicking a little, even though you guys are comfortably set, financially speaking, because now he’s gonna be responsible for another life

- calming down after you cup his chin and say “bobby... relax. we got this covered”

- bringing snacks to wherever you go, no matter if a long trip or a short drive to the grocery store/work

- gifts like “fashionable” pregnancy clothes. “none of that 80′s/90′s mom gear they used to wear! you’re still a gorgeous lass and it shows!”

- on a calmer moment of the day, you’re both lying on the couch watching something, and bobby often falls asleep close to your belly

- on that note, he caresses it and talks to the baby, or babies, a lot!

- still on that melty topic, he sings to them all the time. most of the times he’ll pick a soothing melody like “over the rainbow”, “la vie en rose” or “what a wonderful world”, starting out with a louis armstrong voice, to make you laugh, then picking up on his normal and raspy tone

- foot rubs! lots of it!

- has reminders on his phone for your vitamins, drinking water timestamps, snack time, meal time etc.

- the bed has turned into a zoo of pillows, specifically for your back

- bobby now has installed ai everywhere in the house, so you don’t have to get up to do anything, even though you should

- he doesn’t let you do house chores, even though you should. “i’m pregnant, bobby, not sick. i should be contributing too!” “well... stil...” cuts to him in a flowery apron, rubber gloves on, doing the dishes while there’s food in the oven, and the house is neatly clean

- nighttime often ends up with your head on his lap and his hands either running on your hair, cheek or shoulders, to help you relax.

- MOST - PANICKY - DAD - IF - BRAXTON - HICKS - HAPPEN!!!

- and he’ll take you to the hospital, almost crying, but doing the best he can to hide his desperation. it’s not working but he’s trying!

- you will have some problems while choosing the names.  believe bobby wants to know the sex so he can pick tons of stuff, but he gets lost in the choices because he doesn’t want to conform. at the same time he wants to picture his little girl in a cute fluffy dress, or the boy in a cool sleeves up shirt and a sideways ballcap.

- he’ll suggest plenty of absurd names before taking it seriously, just because he knows it relieves the pressure you must be feeling. so he’ll be joking around with marvel names, star trek characters, possibly diving into the dr. who dimension!

- expect lots of censorship when it comes to food. he’s mostly concerned about your feeding habits and will police you to not get it too extravagant.

- “i owe you for life. you’re having my kid.”

- instead of relaxing on the last month, he’ll go a little insane and practise “middle of the night” runs, kind of like marshall eriksen did, on himym. (couldn’t find a clip but he uses a watermelon and alarms to train himself in waking up promptly)

things he’ll say directly to your stomach:

“lass, do you think they know i’m their dad?” he asks while trying to listen a kick

“i’m gonna help you with the lasses. or the lads. or with none. i’m gonna love you no matter what happens.” he tears up while stroking your skin

“once upon a time there was this gorgeous princess who fell in love with the court jester. after all, he was no common fool. he was getting paid to be funny.” “yeah, he wishes.” you respond, directing his hand up and down on the bump.

once the water breaks he has everything covered. the bags with baby articles, your own with your comfortable clothes, favorite products and the most entertaining games and apps he could find to download on your phone

- “push! i mean, i’m not bossing you around, but like... push!” while the doctor furrows their brows, shaking their head.

- trembling from head to toe when holding his baby for the first time. not even noticing his tears of joy

- melting away while seeing you holding them

- sniffing constantly because he can’t help being so in love with you and your child

- “i look disgusting!” “you look beautiful, it’s what you look, lass.”

- as soon as that little piece of him grabs his finger it’s over for dad!bobby

- the first time you fall asleep with them in your arms, bobby won’t resist and will take a picture. he’ll keep that one just for him

now i’m in my feels! thanks a lot, anon! jk jk

hope this is what you were looking for!

#litg bobby #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #pregnancy #dad!bobby

[jafreitag]

Grateful Dead Monthly: Lindley Meadows (Golden Gate Park) – San Francisco, CA 9/28/75

On Sunday, September 28, 1975, the Grateful Dead played a concert at Golden Gate Park’s Lindley Meadows in San Francisco, California.

Lindley Meadows

From the Wiki: “In the 1860s, San Franciscans began to feel the need for a spacious public park similar to [NYC’s] Central Park. Golden Gate Park was carved out of unpromising sand and shore dunes that were known as the Outside Lands, in an unincorporated area west of San Francisco’s then-current borders.” Frederick Law Olmsted was the driver. He was the guy who conceptualized Central Park, and later Jackson and Washington Parks in Chicago, as well as the whole shebang for Chi’s 1893 Columbian Exposition and most of the nearby U of C campus. Olmstead “proposed a plan for a park using native species suited for San Francisco’s dry climate; however, the proposal was rejected in favor of a Central Park-style park needing extensive irrigation.” Nice try, man.

The park got a Commissioner in 1871, and the San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department began overseeing its development. Between then and now, it’s been basically urban green space. Per the Wiki, GGP is roughly the same shape as Central Park, but twenty-percent bigger. It’s bounded by the Pacific Ocean on the West and the Haight on the East. And it’s the third most-visited park in the United States, after Central Park and the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

So Lindley Meadows?

See the oval on the left side of that sat pic? It’s Golden Gate Park Polo Field. Apparently, Lindley Meadows is the green area that sits just above its northeast corner. Guys, I’ve never been to California, much less SF. I’m not a super-traveled person, so some of these venue write-ups seem poser-y. They’re not intended to be. Apologies for the lack of local knowledge, and feel free to add anything like that below the line.

The Dead played exactly four shows in 1975. On 3/25, they played a benefit for San Francisco Students Need Athletics, Culture, and Kicks (SF SNACK) with the Doobies, the Starship, Santana, Dylan & Baez, and Neil Young. The band’s set was comprised of the Blues for Allah material that everybody pretends to dig (but nobody really does). I’m not familiar with that show. On 6/17, they played at Winterland, and the setlist was also BFA-forward. I’m not familiar with that show, either, but, according to the Grateful Dead of the Day blog, it gets attention nowadays. On 8/13, they played at the Great American Music Hall – that’s One from the Vault, and we’ve covered it before. Finally, on 9/28, they played at Lindley Meadows. Single set show, which clocks in at just under two hours. A lot of BFA material, but a lot of well-toured and well-beloved chestnuts, too.

Photo credit: Alvan Meyerowitz

In a 2008 post about this show, the Grateful Dead Listening Guide blog makes two points. First, there’s an absolutely epic audience recording. To wit: “[T]his is one of the audience tapes that historically was said to have been recorded by the band (Phil Lesh in particular) from the stage itself … It is absolutely one of the very best of the best AUDs. But Phil didn’t tape it. Phil didn’t make any tapes.”

GDLB continues, and this is great:

“[B]efore this century [meaning the ’00s], if you weren’t in the most enshrined trading circles, you couldn’t find a complete copy of this AUD to save your life (and the real deal master itself only just went into circulation in May 2008). When you might have run into this recording (I was lucky enough to score 45 minutes of the show on cassette about 12 years ago), there was no way you could accept that it was an AUD at all. Clearly Phil and the band had to have had a hand in making this tape, right? It just sounded WAY too good. And there was the fact that there were a painful amount of right channel dropouts throughout the tape which allowed you to appreciate the quality, but never really left you wanting to listen to the tape again because of the pain involved in those dropouts.

Then the SBD came on the scene, sounding super duper. Someone digitized the AUD (a multi-gen version) and spent the time patching the dropouts with the left channel – palatable now, the AUD was a dizzying drink from the fountain of audience magic. Well friends, that was nothing…

I’m not going to attempt to document the story of taper Bob Menke here on these pages. Let’s just say that BadBob (his own moniker) bleeds the history of Grateful Dead taping and collecting. He’s one of those fellows whose name lands in the inner circle when playing the dart game of Dead tapers. ‘Nuff said. Menke’s story has been one of clouded half truths, misunderstandings, and mystery in the eyes of tape collectors. Over the last number of years, the real Bob Menke has made his way into the digital scene, so a lot of the mystery has faded. But, it sure did fuel the fires that made this particular tape one of such grand story telling. This is one to tell the grandkids about, to be sure.

So Menke recently digitally transferred his master, and the MOTB crew [dunno] finished it off with heroic editing (glad I didn’t face this task). And now we have this AUD for the ages, in its most beautiful glory.

The recording is so good, it makes the AUD vs. SBD debate seem silly. It’s a little unfair, like bringing an NBA all star off the bench at a junior high basketball game. So much so, that it’s fair for a SBD supporter to cry foul – ‘Oh, well, 09/28/75! You can’t talk to me about that show. That’s not fair.’ Regardless, when you want to know what it might have sounded like pressed up against the stage for this hallmark Dead show in the year after they retired (you may never see them again), this is it my friends. Cripplingly good.”

There’s a link to the Menke AUD below, but on to the second point. Apparently, the band was “high” – as in, their performance was chemically enhanced by LSD. Again, GDLG:

“Then there’s the well enough substantiated story that the band was higher than kites for this show. While it has always been very well understood that this band played under the influence of LSD many many many times, there are some shows that come to mind when Deadheads talk about shows where the band was ‘known’ to have been chemically altered for sure: 08/27/72, 05/11/78, and 09/28/75 among them. So, this places an extra special sparkle to re-living the day’s concert when listening.

Also, there is the fact that a baby was born during the show [check banter after Slipknot!], with the band and stage announcers doing their best to help.”

Acid, a baby, and no deaths? It’s like a good time Altamont. Right, Jerry?

GDOTD offers some listening notes:

“It opens with a sharp and focused Help On The Way before heading into a moody Slipknot!, which rages in the latter half. Rather than transitioning into Franklin’s at that point, as they had during the two other times they had paired those songs, the Slipknot! ends, and they launch into a smoking The Music Never Stopped. On that tune, Donna adds lovely backing vocals, as she does throughout the afternoon.”

More GDOTD:

“[A]fter a bit of banter, they finally hit the Franklin’s Tower, playing in mind-meld form throughout with Phil throwing down and the entire band contributing to a seismic jam after the ‘listen to the music play’ line. Then, Bobby announces that they will be playing a cowboy tune, before rolling into Big River, throughout which Keith serves up some incredible fills. After It Must Have Been The Roses, a marvelous Truckin’ takes off and eventually steers into a blistering jam … [T]he boys slow things up just a notch, Phil rains down a series of bombs, and Jerry streaks around before ceding the stage to the drummers. The Drums themselves are transcendent, but the Stronger Than Dirt that follows is face melting. What’s more, the transition into Not Fade Away is rapturous as the drummers drive on the change, but the rest of the guys resist, teasing out the last of the Stronger Than Dirt theme while slowly falling to the inevitable momentum of NFA. And what a Not Fade Away it turns out to be with serious, imaginative jamming all the way through to the Going Down The Road Feeling Bad, which is itself resplendent. Then One More Saturday Night caps the show in rocking, high-energy fashion.”

That’s cool, but there are listening notes, and then there’s our guy. Without further ado, here’s everyone’s favorite. The master of zero disasters, the king of schwing, the 88’s tickler, the Peloton’s boss, the cherry on top, the sun behind that one annoying cloud, the reason that outside cats come back home, the guy who rolled his eyes at all those Dos Equis commercials b/c #beentheredonethat, the Ig influencer behind @31daysofdead, and the better half of this gotdam thing. Man/myth/legend is just a trope until you meet him in person. He’s handsome; he’s erudite. He’s a man beyond description and, in his rare spare time, a member of Jehovah’s favorite choir. He’ll break it down, fo’realize. Ladies and Gentlemen, LN Grateful Deaditor, ECM…

“Hey now, kids! Today we’ve got some ‘Hiatus Dead’ for you. As most of you know, Hiatus Dead refers to that period of time between 10/20/74 (Winterland) and 6/3/76 (Portland, OR) when the Grateful Dead took some time off from touring. During this period, the band played only four shows, all of them in 1975. The show JF and I are featuring in this month’s edition of Grateful Dead Monthly – September 28, 1975 – is the last of those 4 shows and it would be the last show for over 8 months. This show is unique for a lot of other reasons too. First, it was a free show in Lindley Meadows in Golden Gate Park at a time when that kind of thing didn’t happen anymore like it did back in the 60’s. Another thing the band hadn’t done in a long while was play a show while they were tripping. Legend has it that they revisited that part of their past as well on this day. Although this has never been confirmed, it sure makes for a good story and at least seems plausible given the overall strangeness and looseness of the music compared with their very tight performance at the Great American Music Hall just a month prior on August 13th. In addition, unlike most GD shows where the band is virtually mute, here there is a lot of funny and odd stage banter – Bobby’s joke about getting around to all the old favorites that they can remember, the calls for a doctor to attend to the woman in the audience that was going into labor and Phil clarifying for the crowd that Truckin’ is NOT pronounced Truck-ing.

Another factor making this show unique is the weather which was unseasonably chilly for September. With temperatures down in the 50’s, it felt more like November than September which brings us to another unique aspect about this show – the band’s attire. Instead of Bobby wearing his signature Lacoste polo shirt and cutoff shorts, on this day he is wearing a Pendelton jacket with bell-bottoms. And, Garcia is rocking a leather jacket with Puma sneakers(!) While we are talking about attire, let’s also talk about instruments. This was allegedly the debut of Jerry’s new guitar, Travis Bean. It’s the guitar that he would use until 9/28/77 when he started playing his Doug Irwin Wolf again. Keith plays an electric Fender Rhodes the entire show. These two instruments certainly influenced the sound of the band that day.

Which brings us to the MUSIC…

The Grateful Dead played one set which clocked in at approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes. They opened with Help>Slipknot. It’s the third one ever but just the second with lyrics. Jerry botches the last verse. It happens. Slipknot! is the third one but the first not going into Franklin’s Tower. It is played slowly, but deliberately, and they pull off the complex arrangement with flying colors. However, things come to a rather abrupt end when they call a halt because Jerry apparently breaks a string – he is audibly absent in the closing riffs. This is the point when the woman is having a baby too. 

Once everything on stage is ironed out and a doctor is located for the woman in labor, the band launches into the Music Never Stopped. It is only the second performance and is a mere 6 minutes. Donna crushes her verse. This early version has only a few bars of the drifty mid-jam section and then charges right into the ending jam which only hints at the potential that it would soon become. Once the song concludes there are more stage announcements. A doctor has been located and now there are pleas for a stretcher.

“Oh, man. That’s weird. A stretcher?”

They Love Each Other is up next – perhaps inspired by the woman having the baby(?). Either way, it’s the first in over 1½ years and the first without the bridge section. This performance has a unique sound and tempo that is played somewhere in between the peppy versions from the 1973-74 era and the slower versions from the 1976 and later era. It is almost reggae-like. Jerry gives it a sensitive reading – sweet and subdued in its expressiveness. Afterwards Phil comes to the microphone to tell the father of the newborn child that his help is needed (Help on the Way?). That’s when Bobby comes to the microphone to assure the fans who are calling out requests that ‘we will get around to all the old favorites that we can remember.’ Cheers and laughter ensue to which Bobby responds, ‘you wouldn’t be laughing if you knew what that meant.’

Bobby cameltoe, ftw.

With the the band launches into a spirited version of one of their oldest songs from their first album – Beat it on Down the Line. Maybe this was a musical message to the father of the newborn baby to get moving and help his wife(?) Weir’s old buddy and bandmate from Kingfish, Mattew Kelly joins on harmonica. His playing is faint, but present, and adds a nice counterpoint to Jerry’s guitar. 

The band completes the piece of their musical triptych that is missing due to the equipment and baby interruptions by playing a stand-alone Franklin’s Tower from a cold start. It is the third version ever and it is exquisite. The drums are groovin’ and Jerry’s on fire especially after the ‘if you get confused, listen to the music play’ line. Great call and response at the end. This is the song that made it onto the abbreviated version [featuring one song from every year] of the box-set 30 Trips Around the Sun that appears on Spotify.

There are more calls from the audience for songs – apparently somebody is calling for Truckin’ but Phil does not like the way the fan is pronouncing it. ‘Did I hear someone say TRUCK-ING? That’s not how you say it. You don’t say TRUCK-ING. But anyway, we’re not gonna play that now. We’re gonna play something else.’ Weir then comes to the microphone to announce that ‘Billy would like to make a small point to the fact that we’re playing a cowboy tune.’ That leads into rootin-tootin’ version of Big River which has nice solos from Jerry and Keith. 

A letter-perfect reading of It Must Have Been The Roses follows. Jerry’s voice is at its pure, sweet unaffected peak. Excellent vocal harmonies from Jerry and Donna. Keith’s work on the electric piano provides the perfect accompaniment.

Phil returns to his Truck-ING banter which signals that the band is now ready to play it. Weir warns the crowd that he’s not going to remember the words, and he makes good on his promise by not only forgetting most of them, but also forgetting to sing part of the second verse at all.  No worries. The jam that follows is fantastic thanks in large part to all the tight material the band had been playing over the past year when they were rehearsing and recording Blues for Allah. There is some heated controversy among fans about the jam that comes out of Truckin’. Some have said that it is The Eleven. In fact, the 30 Trips box set refers to it that way. I don’t hear it but it’s an exciting jam for sure! To me, it sounds more like a King Solomon’s/Stronger Than Dirt groove which is what the band segues into following Drums. This is the fourth and final King Solomon’s. It’s definitely the loosest.There are a few rough spots at first it recovers and maintains a solid groove.

There is a loose transition into Not Fade Away. The lead in is funky and rockin.’ Garcia peels off a slide-flavored, acid-drenched solo which is the start of a long, spacey transition to GDTRFB which is also funky with some amazing energy. Saturday Night caps the show in rocking, high-energy fashion. a hoarse-sounding Phil bids the audience farewell, ‘Let’s have another party like this again sometime.’ And with that, the band slipped back into hibernation mode and would not perform again for another eight months.”

As Ed mentioned, this show is part of the massive 30 Trips Around the Sun box set.

And it’s still on the Live Music Archive. Transport to the soundboard recording HERE, a matrix recording HERE, and Menke’s audience recording HERE. According to Menke,

“It was an overcast day and we got there early. About 8:30 in the morning. That is how we ended up about 10-15 feet from the stage. The mics were mounted on broom sticks (handheld) and they were split about 20 feet apart. The upfront vocals I believe are the product of a small (relative to PA speakers) speaker on the floor of the stage next to the right PA column. The vocals seem to be blasting from that speaker. Another very intersting point is the fact that the Jefferson Starship opened and their sound from the same PA absolutely sucked. Nothing approaching the clarity and sound quality the Dead got from the same system.”

There you go.

More soon.

JF

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[aesthetic-rat]

Soo, lots of thoughts SeasonSeasonof spn.

2

Sam's fast lol

NO DEAN ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

Dean would literally kill to save sam, that's scary i-

GET IT IG

NO I LIKED AVA

Sam u needs chill u can't save everyone

SAM NO WTF POSESSED YOU STOP IT I-

I DONT LIKE THIS VERSION OF SAM

WHY JO THO I LOVE HERRRR SHE BEST SURVIVE

ONCE AGAIN, GET IT DEAN!!!!!

DEAN YOU HAVE TO SHOOT HIM! IK YOU DONT WANT TO, I DONT WANT YOU TOO, BUT YOU HAVE TO!

(This is a lot of aggresive yelling in the span of 5 minutes)

OOH YEH GET IT GUY I FORGOT THE NAME OF

gotta love some good ol holy water

Got it, so dean thinks he's in a james bond movie. All the time.

NO YOU CANT DIE SAM YOURE BASICALLY ALL DEAN HAS LEFT

Dean buddy, this isn't gonna end well

Told you it wouldnt end well

JOHN?

tf is going on- how much can happen in the last 5 minutes-

Wait- so is it dead? Like for real? There's no way-

NOO THIS IS TOO SAD FOR ME ✋ STOOPPPPP

YALL LOVE EACHOTHER TOO MUCH ✋

Season 3

I don't really like the new intro thingy-

I'm liking this tamara girl

this kid is funny

IS THAT KID DEANS?

OMG. WHAT IF HE IS?

SAM LOOKS LIKE A CAR SALESMAN LMFAO

Nooo this makes me sad ✋ dean would be such a good freaking dad

I LOOK AWAY FOR ONE SECOND AND SHES DROWNING HER KID- WTF-

SAM THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT GOT DEAN IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. MAKING A DEAL WOTH A DEVIL IS NOT GOING TO HELP

Plz sam looks so sad "I lost my shoe"

Sam rly gonna die again lmfao

Oh yay bela is back

NOT DEAN! NOT YET!

oh wait.

HES DIED LIKE 100 TIME THIS EPUSODE LORD-

NOOOO BOBBY

SAM IS LOWKEY SCARY RN

NOOOOOO

Not bobby

I love him too much

YAY ITS THE TRICKSTER?

NO HE JUST KILLED BOBBY-

NO NO NO NO

OK GOOD.

Holy shit this man is insane

Ah he's a demon

Dang Sam has this shit memorized

OK BUT IS DEAN OK

Holy shit so much is happening

Omg

I swear I'll blink and I'll miss Smth

Yayyy no more demons

Yayy no more running from fbi

Holy shit so much has happened this season

BAHAH I LOVE THIS SPECIAL ALREADY

BAHAHHA

this is torchwood but with absolutely no budget ✋

That was weirdly gay

PLS WHAT IS THIS

PLS I LOVE CORBETT

Wait but I love this style of film-

PLS I FORGOT ABOUT THEM-

THAG WAS SUCH A GOOD EP TOO-

No not corbett! I like him!

no not sammmm

CORBETT BEST NOT BE DEAD

IM ATTACHED NOW

NO HES DEADDDDDD

NOOOOOO

:(

Pls Ed is so oblivious

PLS JUST PUT CORBETT OUT OF HIS MISERY, HE DESERVES BETTER

YAY YOU GOT THROUGH TO HIM

NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD CRY OVER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IVE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR

get it ig

PLS I LOVED THAT

Once again, SAM LOOKS FINE IN A SUIT

EHRBEHRVRVR NOOOOOO NOT DAD BEING RUDE LOL

wait what-

He can get him out? I-

DEAN U NEED TO CALM URSELF

pls why do y'all always fight.

sam- buddy-

YALL NEED TO STOP LYING TO EACH OTHER

PLS I JUST REALIZEE SEASON 3 IS WAY SHORTER THAN 1 AND 2 AND I HAVE WAY MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT IT LMFAO-

Yayyyy sammy didn't lose an eye!

Pls why is this guy so creepy

I mean- what kinda quality of life is that-

They deserve it.

GET OT RUBY

PLESE THIS DEMON CHILD PLAYED OLIVE IN ANT FARM

Yayyyy it's not in her anymore we

NO

NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I REFUSE THIS

Uhh- Wut is goin on

NO DEAN NO

WHY SUCH A GRUESOME DEATH THO

NOOOOOOOOO

[justagirlwritingherlilheartout]

You've got me (Tig-Sons of Anarchy)

Request: Tig imagine where you live across the hall from him and you work at TM so you are friends and shit (he has a little crush on u but hasn't said anything) and one day u didin't show up and he goes to look in you apartment (yalls had given each other the spare keys) and he finds you drunk and high out of your mind because u went to visit your mom but instead found her after she had committed suicide (don't feel obliged if this is triggering i'm sorry just chose some other traumatic event if that's so)

Here you go, darling. I hope i understood what you wanted and did it justice. thank you for the request :) <3 <3 <3

Y/M/N-Your mom's name

Y/L-your last name

"What can i get ya boys?" A random blonde croweater, who ended up working the bar asked Tig, Kip, Happy and Bobby who sat down in the bar with Y/N after a long day of fixing up cars at the shop. 

"Am i invisible or am i a picture on the Wall?" Y/N said annoyed. "Because last time i checked I'm a girl and I'm right here." She said motioning  to herself.

"One night stands don't get to have that kind of attitude, Honey." The blonde spat out before going back to flirting (well trying to flirt) with the four guys in front of her. 

"Oh, Honey, you just made a mistake." Tig said with a smirk, knowing that his friend can work up quite a temper. 

"Huh?" The bimbo looked confused. 

"That's right Honey. I've been working here, fixing cars, for longer than You've been sucking dick." Y/N stood up from behind the desk, Walking around the guys to come face to face with the blonde, that couldn't be any older than 20 years old. "I have fixed my first car here, when i was 16 years old, when my dad brought me here. My dad, who was one of the first 9." She said stepping forward causing the girl that was probably 5 years younger than her, step back. "I have been protected, loved and adored by Each and every one of the sons." She continued, stepping forward, forcing the blonde to keep taking steps back till her back hit the Wall. "So no, i am not a one night stand, and i will not be disrespected in my own home. Is that clear?" Y/N finished, looking the trembling croweater nod her head. "Good. Now, go get me and my "boys" beers." She f added before stepping away and sitting back to the table. 

"That poor girl will have nightmares." Bobby laughed as Happy offered Y/N a proud pat on the back. 

"All i did was talk." She laughed in her defense. 

"But the way you talk, so calm, so controlled... its.. so...." kip was searching for the right word.

"Hot." Tig finished for him, making the woke table laugh just as the blonde from before brought them their beers.

As they drank and talked after a long day of work, Tig found himself looking at the girl in front of him. She wore a pair of grey overalls that were stained with oil from the cars. Under which she wore a white tank top, which was torn and stained as well. But her face, oh her face. She wore a a simple black eyeliner that went amazingly with her  dark eyebrows and full lashes. Her lips were kissed by a bit of red lipstick. Her hair was throwing in a messy french braid that reached all the way down to the middle of her back.

''So any plans for the rest of the day?'' Y/N asked asked  finished her beer.

''Yeah we have church at 8.'' Kip said and the guys nodded.

''You?'' Bobby asked, ''Do you have a hot date or something?''

''Nah, imma go visit my mum.'' She said. ''Speaking off, i should go shower, so she wont have a reason to tell me I'm unladylike.''

''Have fun, doll.'' Tig said, hugging her before the rest of the guys did the same and she walked in to the hall where the dorms were.

Y/N moved in to  the dorm that her father used to live in before he was killed on one of the runs for the Sons. Once her mother got put in a home for mentally challenged adults when she was diagnosed with dementia  she got nowhere else to go to, so at 17 she moved in at the club house.

Getting out of the shower she dryed off and put on a pair of high waisted jeans and a simple black t-shirt, tied off at the waist, only showing a about an inch of her skin.

She undid her braid, letting her long red hair fall down her back in soft waves. She parted them in a middle part, did her make up in the same way as before and walked out of the dorm.

''Hey, I'm here to see Y/M/N Y/L.'' The girl said as she walked up to the reception desk at the facility.

''Sure. Sign in here please.'' The kind lady behind the desk said giving her a paper full of names and signatures.

''Thanks, here you go.'' Y/N said giving her the paper back after signing in. She already knew how this went, she has been coming here for years now.

''Room 104.'' The lady said and Y/N sent her a friendly smile before walking in the direction of the room.

''Hey mom, It's me, Y/N.'' She said, knowing she probably won't remember who she is, even if she was here last week.

''Mom?'' She tried again walking in further in to the room.

''Mom!'' She let out a scream as she noticed an older lady laying on the floor in the corner of the room. ''Mommy?'' Panic filled her voice as she ran to the woman on the floor, kneeling down besides her. ''No, no, no!'' She cried out, wrapping her arms around her mother's lifeless body. She noticed that the insides of her forearms were sliced open. ''No, mom, why?'' She let the tears stream down her face, rocking the lifeless body in her arms. ''You'll be okay, it's gonna be okay.'' She whispered, kissing her head. ''Doctor!!'' She screamed out. ''Help!''

''I need help!!'' She yelled and a nurse came running in to the room. She let out a scream as she noticed the blood besides the girl and the older lady in her arms.

''Help me!'' Y/N screamed thought the tears making the nurse jump and walk over to her. She checked the older lady's heart beat and shook  her head.

''I'm sorry, she's gone.''

The rest of the day was a blur. Y/N walked home, not taking her car, she just left it by the hospital. While walking she couldn't help but but cry. That was it. Now she is alone, totally alone. No mum, no dad, no family.

It was around 5 AM when the girl finally  made it to the MT, walking straight to her dorm, thankful that no one was anywhere in sight. 

She closed the door and collapsed on the floor of her room. 

10:30 AM, the clock on her wall read, making her realize she has been lying on the floor for hours now. She wasn't crying anymore. She couldn't. She was numb. She couldn't move. Everything hurt. But she didn't know if it was because of the cold hard floor she had been on or the mental pain of loosing the last family member she had.

'How could no one notice?' She thought to herself, thinking back to how she found her mother. Blood soaking her clothes, eyes closed, skin almost as white as a peace of paper.

She tried to shake the mental image of her dead mother out of her mind, trying to replace it with a memory of them walking on a beach, waiting for her father to join them.  She  was 15 at the time. The last time, she remembered, the whole family being happy. The last time they were all together.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a lound knock on her door. She needed a second to comprehend where the noise was coming from and what it meant.  

''Y/N! Are you here?'' A male voice came from outside her door.

''Y/N!'' He called again, the girl realizing it was Tig.

''Ye-mhm'' She tried to get the words out of her mouth, her voice hoarse from crying.

''Y/N, are you okay?'' Tig asked, opening the door slowly. ''Oh my god, Y/N!.'' He ran inside as soon as he saw her, in the middle of the room, still laying on the floor.

''Tig..'' She said as he picked her up in his arms.

''Are you hurt? What happened?'' He tried to find any physical evidences of her being hurt in any way.

''My mum, She killed herself.'' The girl said, her voice just above a whisper.

''Oh, sweetheart.'' He walked over to her bed, sitting down and hugging her close to him. ''I'm sorry.'' He said as he started to slowly rock her back and front, like you would to a baby who just woke up from a night mare.

''They are gone.'' The girl said making the man look at her. He could see she has been crying all night. Her eyes were red and puffy, her mascara and eyeliner running down her red cheeks, her hair a mess and her clothes still stained with what he guessed was her mother's blood.  ''My mum and dad, they're gone. I'm all alone.''

''No baby, you've got me.'' He said kissing the top of her head. ''I promise you, you will always have me.'' He ensured her, and held her in his arms until she fell asleep, finally feeling safe and loved.

..

Request here!

Masterlist here!

AN: Hey, hope you liked it, i have to admit, this is a new concept for me. I usually avoid this kinds of topics but i hope i made it work.

#Tig #tigger #soa imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy #soa #happy #bobby #kip #halfsack #request #trigger warning: suicide #suicide #family death #imagine #one shot #fan fic #fanfiction

[trecedelabuenasuerte]

200 things about me

200: My crush’s name is: Ignacio 199: I was born in: Valparaíso, Chile 198: I am really: stupid 197: My cellphone company is: entel 196: My eye color is: green 195: My shoe size is: 36 194: My ring size is: ring size? 193: My height is: 1.60m ;;-;; 192: I am allergic to: cats, dust, and chocolate 191: My 1st car was: never had one 190: My 1st job was: maid  189: Last book you read: me after you 188: My bed is: big? 187: My pet: my cat, Mia (yes, a cat) 186: My best friend: I have 5. Serrano, Perro, Pablo Ceci, Sofi  185: My favorite shampoo is: any that smell like sweets  184: Xbox or ps3: ps3 i guess 183: Piggy banks are: good 182: In my pockets: im a girl. we dont have pockets >:( 181: On my calendar: wat 180: Marriage is: meh, innecessary 179: Spongebob can: die 178: My mom: is the best <3 and crazy 177: The last three songs I bought were?: I’ve never bought a song in my life 176: Last YouTube video watched: prob, playing with fire by blackpink 175: How many cousins do you have?: 7... i think 174: Do you have any siblings?: 2 little monsters that i adore <3 173: Are your parents divorced?: yes! 172: Are you taller than your mom?: no :( 171: Do you play an instrument? the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: cry  [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: nop 168: Luck: nop 167: Fate: nop 166: Yourself: HA no 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: kinda  163: Hell: we already live in hell 162: God: kinda 161: Horoscopes: nop 160: Soul mates: yes  159: Ghosts: kinda 158: Gay Marriage: yesss 157: War: yes 156: Orbs: idk 155: Magic: :(  [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: KISSES  153: Drunk or High: Drunk 152: Phone or Online: Online 151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: VAINILLAAAAA 145: Night or Day: day 144: Oranges or Apples: orangesss 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: :( burger 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk choc 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: both 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Happy 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: my cat 135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: BOTH BOTH BOTH PLS 133: Coach or Chanel: idc 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk who they are 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk never been at target so... 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: idc 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: idk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: :( im allergic to both of them  124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: idc [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: can’t avoid it, not good at all 121: George Bush: idc  120: Gay Marriage: should not be a privilege. everyone can marry whoever the fuck they want. let them gays be happy dude. let us be happy. 119: The presidential election: meh 118: Abortion: its a right  117: MySpace: never had one 116: Reality TV: TOTALLY INNECESSARY TO SOCIETY 115: Parents: the hardest work of them all 114: Back stabbers: fuck u  113: Ebay: idk 112: Facebook: omg, u motherfucker.... 111: Work: i hate beign adult 110: My Neighbors: i dont even know them  109: Gas Prices: y tho 108: Designer Clothes: y u so expensive  107: College: y tho 106: Sports: y tho 105: My family: a little broken, but still strong 104: The future: i wanna die c: [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: i’m hugging my cat as i write this 102: Last time you ate: about 2 hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i don’t remember 100: Cried in front of someone: yesterday  99: Went to a movie theater: about 4-5 months ago 98: Took a vacation: YEARS 97: Swam in a pool: February 96: Changed a diaper: since 2006, when my sister was a baby 95: Got my nails done: prob a year ago 94: Went to a wedding: never been to 93: Broke a bone: since 2002 92: Got a peircing: never had one 91: Broke the law: well... idk 90: Texted: like 5 min ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Pablo 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I already left home :((( my sisters. everyday.  87: The last movie I saw: oh jesus... i don’t remember. I’m not good at that 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: die  85: The thing im not looking forward to: die 84: People call me: ferbi 83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my boyfriend 79: First time you had a crush: when i was 7? 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my fucking boyfriend 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody  75: What are you going to do when you grow up: die 74: I have/will get a job: prob next year? 73: Tomorrow: ded 72: Today: ill sutyd right after i finish this  71: Next Summer: i’ll travel ffs. i hope so. 70: Next Weekend: I’ll study.  69: I have these pets: my fat and fluffy cat <3 68: The worst sound in the world: earthquakes 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself. 66: People that make you happy: my cat, my bf, my cat and my friends 65: Last time I cried: yesterday ffs 64: My friends are: dumb 63: My computer is: tiny 62: My School: fuck you >:( 61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: use violence 59: The movie I cried at was: prayers for bobby 58: Your hair color is: brown 57: TV shows you watch: D: 56: Favorite web site: prob tumblr and insta 55: Your dream vacation: Germany 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: rn lol, i hate myself 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: mesy 51: My favorite celebrity is: TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT <3 50: Where would you like to be: buried and dead 49: Do you want children: hell no, thank u  48: Ever been in love: rn i am. 47: Who’s your best friend: serrano 46: More guy friends or girl friends: equal 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: sleeping 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my granpa 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: heLL NO 41: Have you pre-named your children: HELL NO 40: Last person I got mad at: my boyfriend >:l 39: I would like to move to: a less seismic country FFS  38: I wish I was a professional: hoe (jk, an engineer) [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: every candy ever 36: Vehicle:  don’t have one 35: President: my cat 34: State visited: (? 33: Cellphone provider: idc 32: Athlete: don’t have one 31: Actor: don’t have one 30: Actress: Jennifer Lawrence 29: Singer: TAYLOR SWIFT <3 <3  28: Band: rn, Twice 27: Clothing store: don’t have one 26: Grocery store: don’t have one 25: TV show: don’t have one 24: Movie: prayers for bobby 23: Website: any fanfiction website  22: Animal: my cat and PUGS 21: Theme park:  don’t have one 20: Holiday: winter holidays 19: Sport to watch:  don’t have one 18: Sport to play: sleeping 17: Magazine:  don’t have one 16: Book: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE JUST ONE 15: Day of the week: Friday friday (8) 14: Beach: any beach, they all are beautiful 13: Concert attended: idk, every Taylor Swift Tour  12: Thing to cook: MOM’S SPAGHETTI 11: Food: MOM’S SPAGHETTI 10: Restaurant: every sushi restaurant 9: Radio station:  don’t have one 8: Yankee candle scent:  don’t have one 7: Perfume: sex and the city 6: Flower: gladiolus 5: Color: every pastel color 4: Talk show host:  don’t have one 3: Comedian:  don’t have one 2: Dog breed: PUG  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yee

found this questions, and i wanted to answers them myself. I don’t have 200 friends who’d ask me these shits lol

#me #my self #about me

[fictionpractice]

Project 1, chapter 2

“Huh?” Dad said. He had put the papers down and was digging in on the shrimp.

I sighed. “Area 51. You know, the military base.”

Dean perked up at ‘Area 51’. “Hey, Beth Winchester says that’s where the army do tests on aliens!”

Another sigh. “Dean, they don’t do tests on aliens there.”

“They do too! Beth says her Dad saw them doing it.”

“Guys,” Mom interrupted. “This isn’t important. I don’t think we’re going there anyways.”

Dad’s eyebrows furrowed, and he looked at Mom mid-chew. “Why? The job seems to be good. The pay’s even better than what they paid me at Corning, and look, it comes with a house.” He pointed at a seemingly random place on a paper filled with numbers and bullet points: a contract.

Mom locked eyes with him. “I know, honey, but that’s the point. Isn’t it it a bit too good? I mean, you would have been happy with half of what Corning paid you.” Dad looked a little offended, but Mom carried on. “And like Cass says, it’s right where a military base is. The whole thing is really suspicious. What if this town isn’t even real and it’s a part of a big scam?”

Dad swallowed down his bite of shrimp. “Okay, then. Why don’t we check if this town Ankur exists? If it does, it’ll prove this thing is legitimate.” Mom looked like she wanted to object, and to me it seemed like doing that wouldn’t prove anything, but Dad pulled out his phone and began to type.

About a minute later, Dad gave a triumphant little exclamation and showed us his phone screen. It was a wikipedia article about ‘Ankur’, Dad turned the phone around again and began to read it aloud to us.

“‘Ankur is a small town located in Lincoln County, Nevada, United States. As of the 2010 census, it has a population of about seven thousand people. Ankur is currently the closest habitation to the Nellis Air Force Range and Area 51. North of the town is the small village of Rachel and the Quinn Canyon Range, which has the ghost town of Adaven.’”

Dad looked up and smiled at us. “See? It’s a real place!”

“I still don’t know, Andrew.” Mom frowned and pushed Dad’s glasses up his nose, which had slipped down. Dad reached up and held her hand, his face a bit serious now.

“Amy, it’s been only a few hours since I lost my job, but I think I should find a new one as soon as possible,” he said. “And this is perfect.. Even if it seems a bit weird, I think we should give it a chance.”

Mom’s frown dissipated a little, but not completely. “I’m just worried. What if we went through all the trouble and it turns out to be nothing?”

“Then we’ll go straight to the Corning lab in Phoenix. I have a friend there, and I’m sure I’ll be able to persuade Corning to hire me back.”

“Okay,” The two kissed. Next to me, Dean giggled. Being a good older sister, I elbowed him, then tried the shrimp. It was actually quite good.

The rest of the meal was eaten in relative silence, and we exited the restaurant to the loud goodbyes from the large owner of the place.

If Dad was really going to take a job in that so-called town, it would mean he would take the house the university provided him, which in turn meant our family would have to move out of Los Angeles. Personally I wasn’t too attached to Los Angeles, but it was Dean I was worried about. He had a lot of friends, and he would lose all of them.

Mom and Dad began to talk in earnest about moving during the ride home. Mom wanted a few weeks to prepare, and Dad wanted to leave as fast as possible, since other people might take the job before him.

“Why can’t you just call that guy and tell him yes?” Mom asked.

Dad inhaled. “I did, and he told me there were five other people who also said yes. One of them even lives in Las Vegas.”

I felt a nudge, and I turned to see Dean. “People live in Las Vegas?”

“Yeah, Dean. A lot of people live in  Las Vegas.”

“Huh,” Dean said. “I thought there were just hotels there.”

I smirked slightly and redirected my senses to the argument going on in front of me.

“Then why don’t I go alone first, and if everything’s fine, we’ll all go. That ought to work out.”

“What if something happens to you? No one will be there to help you!”

A sigh. “Then what can we do? we have to do something, Amy, and quickly.”

An awkward silence followed.

Dad finally spoke again. “Okay. How about we move out in a week? That’ll give us enough time to pack, and maybe by then I’ll still have a chance of getting the job.”

“Fine, Andrew. I guess that’s all right.”

We pulled up to our apartment building. I looked at the clock in my phone. It was almost 9:30. Many things had happened in just two hours and thirty minutes.

As we boarded the elevator, Mom turned to us. “Cass, Dean, I’m sure you’ve heard, but Dad’s getting a new job. So we have to move. Are you all right with that?”

I nodded. Thanks to my amazing social skills, I had no friends at school nor anywhere. I also hated said school, so I had nothing to lose.

Dean, however, had apparently not been listening when the word ‘move out’ was mentioned during the car ride. “We’re moving?”

He looked at me. I nodded. Dean turned back at Mom.

“So I’m not going to school anymore?”

“Yes, Dean, but not this one. There’s an elementary school where we’ll be moving, and you can go there.”

“So I’m not going to Tiger Rock?” I could practically see a tantrum coming.

“...No.”

“But what about Bobby and Sam and all my friends?”

“Well, they’ll be here. But we can visit them someti-”

“I don’t want to go, then.”

“Oh, boy,” I inadvertently muttered under my breath. Dad was wisely saying nothing, and instead stared at the floor numbers go up like it was most interesting thing in the world. We had all seen how Dean’s rage bursts were.

Mom glanced up at us and seemed to realize no one was willing to be in the path of Dean’s anger. She exhaled loudly before opening her mouth again.

“But Dean, you’re still going to make new friends. And-”

What followed next was a classic stereotypical example of a ten-year-old child’s temper tantrum. I didn’t even listen to much of it, since once we got out of the elevator and into the apartment I went straight into my room. Once the crying started, I put my earphones on and solved my 200 differential equations while listening to music. I knew my duty as a big sister was to help my parents calm Dean down, but homework was still important.

The questions were pretty hard - some of them required drawing graphs, and I was terrible at those, but in time I managed to do those too. By 11, my homework for the day was finished. I was a bit proud of myself - 200 questions and a small essay in an hour and a half was pretty good, although the essay was already almost finished from the day before.

I still had about two hours left until I usually went to sleep. After a moment of contemplation, I decided to catch up on a sitcom I watched.

There were two new episodes I hadn’t seen yet: I had opened my laptop and was about to download them when I noticed a browser was open. It was the one I had used to google Corning’s stock rates. I had forgotten to close it.

Feeling curious, I opened it. Corning’s stock price was still high: It had grown another few cents.

‘Well, I guess I’ll never know why,’ I thought. I moved my mouse to close it.

I paused, just about to close the tab. There was something I wanted to see. I selected the search box and typed in the words ‘Ankur’.

The first thing that came up was an Indian movie with the same name. My guess was right, it was Indian for something.

Feeling mildly satisfied, I scrolled down. There it was - a wikipedia article with the title ‘Ankur(town)’. I clicked on the link and began to read the contents of the page that followed.

‘Ankur is a small town located in Lincoln County, Nevada, United States. As of the 2010 census, it has a population of about seven thousand people. Ankur is currently the closest habitation to the Nellis Air Force Range and Area 51. North of the town is the small village of Rachel and the Quinn Canyon Range, which has the ghost town of Adaven.’ That was the part Dad had read out to us. I began to read the rest.

‘Ankur is over 50 miles (80 km) north of Las Vegas in the Great Basin Desert, the closest highway being U.S. route 95. Several unpaved roads near Ankur lead across the terrain to the boundary of Area 51.

‘Ankur is the host of the University of Nevada, Ankur (UNA), as well as an elementary, junior high, and high school of the same name. Around 15% of the town’s population are students.’

A town with just seven thousand people had a state university? That was strange. I cocked my head and read the history section.

‘Ankur was founded in 1946 by an unnamed Asian immigrant, who had moved there with his family. By 1955, a small community had formed, with a population of approximately one thousand.

‘In April of the same year, the U-2 program initiated by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) for Project Aquatone meant that a military base (the Groom Lake Test Facility) was to be constructed near Ankur. After extensive debates regarding the fate of the municipality, Ankur was allowed to stay in its location, even providing housing services to resident workers of the facility. This arrangement continued until the end of the OXCART program in 1968.

‘In June 1968, weeks after the official decision to terminate the OXCART program, another debate was held to decide what action to enact upon Ankur, its population then five thousand people. Although the initial consensus was to relocate the town to an area in northern Arizona, due to unknown reasons, a decision was not made and the town was allowed to stay yet again.’

Under the history section was a table describing the annual climate of the town, then a list of references. There was nothing more.

It was bizarre. Usually, wikipedia pages about towns had a really long demographics section if they had more than a couple thousand people. Plus, I felt that there should have been a description of the university. All in all, the article was way shorter than how I felt It should be.

‘What am I doing,’ I thought to myself again. ‘So a random article is a bit short. Where’s the problem with that?’

I closed the tab and downloaded the episodes.

Around halfway through the second episode, There was a rap on my door. When I turned around, Mom was standing there.

I slowly pulled my headphones off. Dean seemed to have stopped, since it was quiet around the house again.

“How’d you calm him down?” I asked.

“Oh, he’s not calmed down. He’s just gone out with your Dad to buy a new model car.”

“Wow. You’re bribing him?” It wasn’t something my parents usually did.

Mom looked a little taken aback. “Well, I wouldn’t call it that.” She cleared her throat before moving on. “Anyways, since we’re moving out in a week, we’ll have to pack all our stuff. Do you have a bag for your things?”

I fished around in the closet, looking for a bag. After a few false grabs, my hands caught on the one I needed: a medium-sized red carry on bag with four wheels. It had been mine since elementary school. I hauled it out.

“Great,” Mom said. “You’ll have to do things by Thursday. We’re moving out the next morning.”

“Okay, Mom. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She shut the door.

I turned back to the computer and watched the rest of the show. I had a long hour of packing ahead of me.

The next week passed as routinely as ever. I thought the prospect of my family moving out of the state would have changed something, but it was more dull than normal, if not the same. The worst part was that I still had to do my essay by Thursday; It was on a hypothetical ‘elixir of life’ and I couldn’t have cared less about it. I would have had more fun doing a history essay, at least I liked that subject.

Dean won the race his school held. I couldn’t be there because of school, but as everyone told me that Dean had won by the smallest of margins, it must have been exciting. I was stuck in class trying not to nod off while my classmates made presentations about the ‘importance of iridium in the proving of the Alvarez hypothesis’. I had read about that when I was Dean’s age, and it was a rather easy topic to do a project on. My personal project was far more interesting: ‘Contemplation on the existence of extraterrestrial life forms using alternative variables for the drake equation and consideration of such life forms’ structure.’

On my last day of school, Mrs. Swanson made me stand up in front of the whole class while she informed them I would be switching schools. They stared at me. I stared back and tried to be nonchalant.

I hated being stared at by others, because it made me irrationally self-conscious. The fact that I would never be seeing these people again did nothing to make me less uncomfortable. I fought an urge to blink my eyes quickly.

The rest of the school day were the longest seven hours of my life, but somehow it came to an end. I walked out of school, relatively relieved that I had not been subject to further embarrassments.

The apartment was like nothing I had ever seen before when I opened the door. All the shelves lining the living room wall were empty of the books that filled it. Most of the furniture were missing, and I could see little dust specks floating around in the air.

Mom, Dad and Dean were waiting in the living room, each holding on to their pieces of baggage. Dean was sitting on his black carry on, playing with two model cars. The most recent one he had gotten was some old model from Chevrolet.

I stopped in my tracks. “But I thought we were moving tomorrow morning!”

Dad looked up from his phone. “We were, but the guy from the university said we had to come at night. Something about coming at day disrupting army routine.” He shrugged.

Right, the town was situated right next to that military base. But that meant getting out of down during daylight was likely forbidden, and it didn’t seem like something Mom would approve of.

I felt that mentioning this in front of Dad would stress him even more, so I kept my mouth shut. Instead I nodded and got the things from my room: The red carry on and a backpack containing my laptop, some books, and living necessities.

“Ready to go?” Mom asked. I turned to the room that had been mine for so long. I had thought I was going to spend one more night in it, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen, so I settled with a long look. Dean got up and put his toys in his pockets.

The rest of the luggage was on the parking lot next to the car, and we had to load that too. The books were really heavy, and since there were six boxes of them, I was sweating profusely after the first ten minutes. It was like a workout, except you never got runner’s high and kept on suffering.

It was only when my arms were literally giving away when the final boxes were pushed into the car. Thank god it was a large one, or else we wouldn’t have been able to fit in. As it was, everyone had to wiggle a bit to fit between the boxes like tetris pieces. Right next to me were several of Dad’s books, and under my feet was the microwave.

Dad inserted the keys to the ignition and turned the engine on, which to came to life with a whirr. We slowly crept out of the parking lot.

“Well, guys,” Dad said. “This is it.”

I looked one more time at our apartment, now high up in the building. I felt something unusual in my gut. I kept eye contact with the windows of my room until Dad had driven into the main street and my view was gone.

[brittanyyoungblog]

Songs About Jealousy: 60 Jealous Love Songs

Fear. Anger. Mistrust. Envy. Apprehension. It’s not one of the nicer sides of love, but jealousy is a part of it. When you’re with someone you care deeply about it can drive you a little crazy, have you doubting yourself and your relationship, and make you wonder What does this person even see in me? Is it any wonder there are so many songs about jealousy?

Whether you’re watching the one you love with someone else across a room full of faces, lusting after your best friend’s girl, or just wondering what you’d do if you were her man, there’s a jealous song that might not make you feel any better but maybe a little less alone. Check out the list below or listen to it on Spotify.

1. Jealous Bone, Patty Loveless And I know I’m gonna run you off, if I don’t learn to let you go. But ooh oh you make me lose control.

2. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant Is she the sort you’ve always thought, could make you what you’re not?

3. My Best Friend’s Girl, The Cars You’re always dancing down the street with your suede blue eye-eyes. And every new boy that you meet doesn’t know the real surprise.

4. Lounge Act, Nirvana I’ll arrest myself and wear a shield. I’ll go out of my way to prove I still smell her on you.

5. Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms The past is gone but something might be found to take its place… Hey jealousy.

6. Mr. Brightside, The Killers Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis.

7. No One Else, Weezer I want a girl who will laugh for no one else. When I’m away she puts her makeup on the shelf.

8. When It Was Me, Paula Oh, oh, and I’m not jealous, no, I’m not. Oh, oh, I just want everything she’s got.

9. Revenge, P!nk Featuring Eminem I’m daydreamin’, let me count the ways how I’ll get you or how I’ll make you pay.

10. You Can’t Do That, The Beatles I got something to say that might cause you pain. If I catch you talking to that boy again, I’m gonna let you down and leave you flat. Because I told you before, oh you can’t do that.

11. Every Breath You Take, The Police Oh can’t you see, you belong to me. How my poor heart breaks, with every breath you take.

12. When I Was Your Man, Bruno Mars Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Take you to every party ’cause all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby’s dancing but she’s dancing with another man.

13. You Belong with Me, Taylor Swift If you can see I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can’t you see, you belong with me.

14. That’s Him Over There, Nina Simone I guess that you know what extremes I have gone to, to prove that I didn’t care. You were so anxious to meet the dream that I’ve hung onto. Well, that’s him, that’s my Jim, over there.

15. She’s Got You, Patsy Cline I’ve got your class ring that proved you cared. And it still looks the same as when you gave it, dear. The only thing different, the only thing new, I’ve got these little things, she’s got you.

16. Gallery, Mario Vazquez And girl you’re just way too fine. Gotta be treated as one of a kind. Girl use your mind. Don’t be just another dime.

17. Girl Crush, Little Big Town I want to taste her lips. Yeah, ’cause they taste like you.

18. Green is the Colour, Pink Floyd Envy is the bond between the hopeful and the damned.

19. Jealous Guy, John Lennon I’m sorry that I made you cry. Oh my I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m just a jealous guy.

20. Jessie’s Girl, Rick Springfield I feel so dirty when they start talking cute. I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot.

21. Satellite of Love, Lou Reed I’ve been told that you’ve been bold with Harry, Mark, and John. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday. With Harry, Mark, and John.

22. Who Is He (And What Is He to You?), Bill Withers Now when I add the sum of you and me, I get confused when I keep coming up with three. You’re too much for one man, but not enough for two.

23. If I Lost You, Garbage There are times when I see you talking to other girls, I feel insecure. And every time I see you walking out, I wonder if you’re coming back to me.

24. Jealous (I Ain’t With It) So is it really my fault, I get a shiver when I see you with those other guys.

25. Jealous Again, The Black Crows Stop, understand me. I ain’t afraid of losing face. Stop, understand me. I ain’t afraid of ever losing faith in you.

26. Tell Her No, The Zombies And if she should tell you come closer, and if she tempts you with her charms, tell her no no no no no-no-no-no.

27. Ring the Alarm, Beyoncé Ring the alarm, I been through this too long, but I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm.

28. I (Who Have Nothing), Ben E. King I, I who have no one, must watch you go dancing by, wrapped in the arms of somebody else when, darling, it’s I who loves you.

29. Jealous Hearted Blues, Ma Rainey Going to buy me a bulldog, to watch him while I sleep. Just to keep my man from making his midnight creep. Yes I’m jealous, jealous. Jealous hearted me.

30. Jealousy, Queen Oh jealousy you tripped me up. Jealousy you brought me down. You bring me sorrow you cause me pain. Jealousy when will you let go?

31. Treat You Better, Shawn Mendes I won’t lie to you, I know he’s just not right for you.

32. The Jealous Kind, Joe Cocker It’s just that I’m so afraid someone might steal you away, I’d lose my mind. So please forgive me for the way I act sometimes. I’m the jealous kind.

33. I Want Your Girlfriend to Be My Girlfriend Too, Reel Big Fish There’s a little girl I know, you might know her too. She looks so good, she looks so cute, standin’ next to you. And I don’t know what to do.

34. Silver Springs, Fleetwood Mac Don’t say that she’s pretty, and did you say that she loved you. Baby I don’t want to know.

35. Jealous, Nick Jonas It’s not your fault that they hover, I mean no disrespect. It’s my right to be hellish. I still get jealous.

36. Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood Right now, she’s probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke. Right now, she’s probably saying “I’m drunk” and he’s a-thinking that he’s gonna get lucky.

37. Jealous Lover, Rainbow Shades of red, eyes of green, sees black and white, and there’s no in between.

38. Forgive My Jealousy, Chuck Jackson Forgive this foolish fear that rages inside of me. Oh, I love you so much love has blinded me.

39. Beautiful Liar, Shakira and Beyoncé I walked in on your love scene, slow dancing. You stole everything, how can you say I did you wrong.

40. Pickup Truck, Kings of Leon And in the moonlight I throwed him down, a kicking, screaming, a rolling around. A little piece of a bloody tooth. Just so you know I was thinking of you.

41. Want U Back, Cher Lloyd Remember all the things that you and I did first? And now you’re doing them with her. Remember all the things that you and I did first? You got me, got me like this.

42. Bust Your Windows, Jazmine Sullivan I bust the windows out ya car and no it didn’t mend my broken heart.

43. You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother.

44. Girlfriend, Avril Lavigne She’s like so whatever. You could do so much better. I think we should get together now.

45. Dysentery Gary, Blink 182 Life just sucks, I lost the one. I’m giving up. She found someone. There’s plenty more. Girls are such a drag.

46. Jealousy, Spoon Jealousy, you have never done a thing for me.

47. Endlessly Jealous, Lou Reed Endlessly jealous of you, being endlessly jealous of me. The man that you thought I could be turning red with jealousy.

48. Jealousy, Iggy Pop I feel it comin’ it’s flushin’ my face. I feel it comin’ jealousy baby. I feel it comin’ boilin my blood . I feel it comin’ jealousy baby.

49. Jealousy, Billy Fury I loved you too well. For I doubted you in my heart. My life was hell every moment we were apart. Why did I make that big mistake? I wronged you right from the start.

50. False Accusations, Robert Cray I was so wrong. She’s gone tonight. I was so wrong. I can see her now. And jealousy had twisted me somehow.

51. Suspicious Minds, Elvis Presley We’re caught in a trap. I can’t walk out, because I love you too much, baby.

52. Dark Lady, Cher So I sneaked back and caught her with my man, laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand. The next thing I knew they were dead on the floor. Dark lady would never turn a card up anymore.

53. I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonight, Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart We were so close but we should’ve been closer and it’s making me feel so sad. But I tell myself I didn’t lose her ’cause you can’t lose a friend you never had.

54. Run for Your Life, The Beatles Well I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man.

55. My Girl Bill, Jim Stafford Bill, you know we just left her place, and we both know what she said. She doesn’t want to see your face, and she wishes you were dead!

56. He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You), Tony Orlando and Dawn The handsome guy that you’ve been dating, whoa, I got a feelin’ he’s gonna put you down.

57. The Girl is Mine, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney I don’t understand the way you think, saying that she’s yours not mine. Sending roses and your silly dreams, really just a waste of time.

58. No Reply, The Beatles I nearly died, I nearly died. ‘Cause you walked hand in hand with another man in my place.

59. Him or Me – What’s It Gonna Be, Paul Revere & The Raiders I can still recall when you told me I was all everything you looked for in a man. But I know that it’s not true, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I think you’re gonna hang me up again.

60. Jealous, Robert Palmer When I see you with that guy and he catches your pretty eye, yYou know it makes we want to die.

The post Songs About Jealousy: 60 Jealous Love Songs appeared first on The Date Mix.

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I think i need to tell the story of coming back to palo alto.

i got a job at philz.

i tried to live with my mom.

my mom screamed at me day in and day out. if i got home late, i had to brush my teeth outside, otherwise it would wake her up. close quarters. and a person who drinks so much caffeine, that sleep becomes like walking on a wire.

i resented palo alto. at one point in new york, i got obsessed with looking at the Facebook pictures of the group from high school that had stuck together. those same girls, who all ate lunch together… were still all eating lunch together. but instead of a bell ringing, it would be like “let’s do lunch!”

lunch girls. brunch girls. girls with rings. girls getting drunk. girls getting engaged. versions of the dresses i saw my fellow artists wear in bushwick, but the best versions of them. stripes that cost a lot of money.

and i used Facebook for entertainment, giving myself a star of my Facebook. the girl i’d look at the most. one time i wrote a message to her, saying it looked like she was so enjoying herself, and i sincerely meant it… but i think she DE FRIENDED me after that.

i have been a creepy girl.

it’s when you lock yourself in. its when you don’t let yourself out. and then you must peer around corners, to find some connection. its when you go to yoga all the time, and decide that most of your relationships must happen from far away.

because you are afraid to be fulfilled. so you skirt around the edges. and eat and eat to satisfy the mouth, but never the belly. you can’t even feel your belly. you were molested and never dealt with it. so parts of your body, have been lost.

i was supposed to be writing the story of palo alto. of coming back.

i remember when my dad told me that i should come back. we had a good cell phone connection. i was standing in a fed ex, crying, luckily not wearing my catering outfit ( a suit) and that was partially why i was in the fed ex. “emily, you aren’t in your suit, you’re late. i’m going to have to ask you to leave.” he wasn’t saying “Emily” because he knew me. he was saying “Emily” because he had a clip board. and my name was on that clip board. the one without a check mark.

and i was the caterer who didn’t wear make up and didn’t eat the food at the end of the night and never really understood which side to pull the plate from.

i desperately wanted to dance with the guests.

midtown felt smokey. because i had gotten a massage from bobby and he was making paleo bread and it was burning in the oven. and i breathed in the fumes and felt the touch of this man who had grown up without a father. i miss him. the intensity he had for being alive. the way his eyes would squint. but he had secrets. only a person with secrets knows if someone has secrets.

i did my best to not. i lived my whole life out in the open. i didn’t even have a door, and at one point i didn’t have a bed. and at another point i didn’t have a room. and then i barely had my brain. i was a secret eater. in new york, its easy to be a secret eater. and it was the way i lived my life. a little quest to a small bit of froyo. a little quest to the garbanzo chips. a little quest to the spirilina millet. i treated myself like a little dog.

in my brain, i had my one woman show. a series of monologues that put my “love life” out on display. it was an exercise in exploiting myself. i was not interested in showing myself as a beautiful, self assured, person. i was more interested in just showing myself. and back then, that meant make  fun of myself.

i am supposed to be talking about coming back to palo alto.

there were flowers.

everywhere.

flowers in the garden. flowers in my room. flowers in paintings.

there were suicides.

i walked in the heat of the summer and i wore black and i had dandruff and my face felt oily and my joints hurt.

i got a job at five in the morning at yoga source.

in exchange for class.

“I LOVE YOGA” yeah right. yoga was hurting me. my back could bend and bend and bend i felt as though i was going to break in half.

i had no strength. only felxabilty. and i wobbled around like a newborn giraffe with a stomach full of air or water or caffeinated drinks.

i was obsessed with caffeine.

i ran down the street while leaving a message for amelia, my heart was racing. this was a panic attack. i thought i was going to die, my heart was out of control.

there were times meditation when i just wish my heart would stop. and it could all just end. i needed carbs. i needed oatmeal. i needed sweet potatoes.

i crunched carrots maniacally

and my dad filled the fridge with carrots. he smiled and laughed

and it felt like he bought me cartons of cigarettes.

he drank big glasses of vodka and watched tv while sitting up straight on an office chair.

i did a video interview for Philz. stupid little improv skills, i could have been singing “oh mr sun, sun, mister golden sun, please shine down on me!!”

and they called me and i talked the guy about my personality. (?)

and then i had a meeting. and talked about my personality.

and then i had another meeting and talked more about my personality.

and then i was hired. and then they started talking to me about coffee. and as it turns out. i suck at making coffee. especially in high pressure environments.

there was a guy named gabe, who came in once, i knew him from  high school. and my hair was in a bun. and he smiled, like he wanted me to see how he was so great now! and he was so great now! told me to stop by the hotel where he works…. “just to come by??” i said. knocking down what i should have been floating around saying yes to.

but i was in no place to say yes to partying at a hotel.

if you had given me a drink back then, i probably would have walked straight to the train tracks, all the while contemplating death. but not having that thing inside me that could actually make me do it.

death was a refreshing thought back then. that i could just die. and not have to deal with this starting over, thing. that i could just die. and people would say, oh that emily….

the thing is. new york. if you don’t “make it” if you leave. you failed.

you failed big time. and if u have the palo alto personality of achieve achieve achieve achieve show me what you have achieved. tell me what you are trying to achieve. and then you leave new york.

you need a therapist.

so i found jeff. the same therapist i went to when i was seventeen and had adopted an eating disorder called “chewing and spitting” because thats what you do. you chew up food and then you spit it out. and hopefully you have a disposal in your sink, well hopefully you never do this. so this guy jeff “helped” me way back then. but then i just started eating a ton of vegetables and things with no calories and started the farting problem.

this was the therapist i decided to go back to.

that first day i cried and cried and cried and he basically told me that my mom sucks and that i need to get away from her. so i moved out of my mom’s and into  claudia’s.

claudia’s son picked me up. i had put all my stuff out on the lawn. bags of clothes. when you hate your body, clothes are the bane of your existence. everything’s point was just to hide my balloon belly.

and its so confusing when you do so much yoga, because people are always saying stuff to you. about your flexibility or whatever. but u know… you don’t completely look the part.

i realize i am being cruel to my past self right now.

but you must know, i am being very good to my present self, because there is a wonderful sense of catharsis while writing this. and these are the facts. i am not glittering up or sanding down anything.

when the guy at philz called me in for a meeting, he told me that he had witnessed his friend being killed in a bar. and he also told me that perhaps i am not cut out to make coffee at philz, since i couldn’t even remember the words “sweet and creamy.”

i had an interview at equinox. for the kids club. the people were sooooooo  excited there. that girl courtney was jumping out of her face.

my interview was with a man named chris, who didn’t even show me the kids club. he just looked at my face and thought about the shoes he was going to buy as soon as he was done with hiring me.

when i got the job, the girls working there were siting on the little chairs and one of them poured out of that little chair and one of them didn’t and they both had coffees from philz and they both had no idea what to do with me.

so i read to the kids and sang and pretty much just exhausted myself using expression, that had no linear plot. singing this and that. little dance. little books with hard pages that were six pages long. covered in germs.

the whole place was covered in germs.

and i sat there for a few hours at a time. and hated my existence. and then i’d go to therapy and sit in the chair that had so much energy from the people before and then dan came into my life.