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spotsspeciall · 4 months

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Factory meetings vol.2 - LN4

Lando Norris x fem!reader

summary: second part to: Factory meetings

notes: Better late than never lol. Sorry for the long wait! But I write everything on PC, and of course something happened to it so I had to get it fixed. And not only that, but when I sat down to finally write, I had major writer's block! But here it is!! FINALLY!!

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. smut (double smut bby), unprotected (wrap it before you tap it!) p in v, language, jealous!Lando, rough, fingering, soft!Lando (shit got real at the end lol)

word count: 10k

masterlist

It had been a week since it happened. And next week you were supposed to see him again, the Chinese grand prix coming up. You were freaking out to put it mildly.

You had spent your off time at home, and you had shared what happened with Sophie. And as you suspected, she was shocked and a little grossed out. But you knew she would come around. And she did, so she asked you about all the details, when you told her, the two of you screamed and laughed together. Now the whole thing had turned into a sort of inside joke between you and Sophie.

But as the race week was coming up, you got more and more nervous. What was he going to act like now? You really didn’t want to face him, knowing what the two of you had done together. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it, day and night, it was seared into your brain. (But you didn’t want to stop thinking about it either.)

Walking into the paddock on Friday, you did your usual routine, unbothered by anyone. You made your way into the garage, and walked over to the workbench against the wall, and started looking through your tools.

You sorted through a few of them, getting them ready, knowing which ones you would need the most today.

You enjoyed getting into the garage a little earlier than the others, having some quiet, alone time. And getting in the zone. Focusing on your job so much that you didn’t notice someone walked in.

Lando walked into the garage, knowing you would be here. He only came here for you. He walked up behind you and looked over your shoulder, watching you picking up the different small tools.

You were so focused, but a familiar scent flooded your nose. He smelled so intoxicating, it literally made your knees weak. And the second it hit you, and you felt his hot breath at the back of your neck. You froze, and dropped the tool in your hand, making a clattering sound as it hit the table.

“Sorry, did I scare you baby?”

He was so close to your ear, and you could feel the smirk on his face.

You could not move, or utter a word. So Lando stepped to the side, and leaned his hip against the counter.

“I’m sorry, I was just curious to see what you were doing” He smiled sweetly at you, making your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I- uh, I was just sorting through my tools, getting the ones I need the most” You answered without thinking, still somewhat confused why he was being nice.

“Oh, ok” he nodded, looking towards the tools like he was thinking about something.

You felt your jaw clench, and your eyes stared daggers at him. Your brain was connecting the dots. Of course he wasn’t being nice to you, he was looking for ways to annoy you, and tease you.

He reached his hand out to grab a small screwdriver to look closely at it.

“What is this one for?” He looked up from the screwdriver to meet your eyes with a soft look.

He was not fooling you. Lando could see your whole demeanor had changed. And you could see the look in his eyes changed, for some reason he looked kind of worried? It knocked you off balance, and the look in your eyes softened.

“Sorry if I'm bothering you, I was just curious” He looked dejected as he went to put the screwdriver back in its place.

Before you had any time to think, your hands flew out to grab onto his hand before he dropped the tool.

“No, I’m sorry” “You’re not bothering me” Your anxious eyes met his, but he looked back down to where you were both holding the screwdriver, your eyes following after.

You let his hand go and let out an awkward chuckle. Your eyes looking everywhere but him. But he stretched his hand out to give you the screwdriver.

“So you want to tell me what it’s for?” His sweet smile had returned, as you were forced to meet his eyes again.

“Uhm- yeah sure!” You grabbed the tool from his hand and turned on your heel to walk over to the front left tyre suspension.

You crouched down so your face was closer to the suspension. You turned your head to look for Lando, not feeling him behind you. He was still standing at the counter, so you waved him over. A giggle escaping you when he finally got the hint and walked over.

Soon enough he was beside you, crouched down just like you. So you pointed a finger to where the suspension was connected to the car.

“You see those small screws there?”

He looked a bit closer before turning to you. “yeah”

“Yup” “that’s what this is for” you held the screwdriver up as you nodded.

He let out a small chuckle. “You could’ve just told me that over there” He pointed towards where the both of you had been standing earlier.

“Yeah, but I wanted to show you.” “It’s good to know your car” You smiled brightly at him.

“Yeah, I guess” he smiled back.

You were just looking into eachothers eyes, completely lost in eachother. Until someone spoke up.

“What are you guys doing?” You looked up to meet the eyes of Jonas, one of your fellow mechanics.

“Oh- um, I was just showing him what this screwdriver is for” You held the tool up to show Jonas, trying to act as normal as possible, not like you had just been drowning in those gorgeous eyes.

“Okayyy..” Jonas narrowed his eyes at the pair of you before walking further into the garage.

You turned your head when you felt Lando stand up. Meeting his eyes when he towered over you, he stretched his hand out for you. It took you a moment to register before you put your hand in his, and he pulled you to your feet.

Now standing in front of him, you saw his mouth open and close, like he was going to say something. Lando was at a loss for words staring at you. The soft look you had in your eyes as you just looked at him, he felt like no one had ever looked at him that way. But he finally managed to get some words out.

“I- I have to go” “see you later” He nodded, and left before you could even say anything.

When he came back to the garage, to get ready for FP1, you talked with him when he got into the car.

“Everything’s good?” you asked, making sure the car seemed good.

“Yeah” “perfect like always Y/N” He smiled up at you.

“good”... “great”... “alright” You said as you tried to find something else to focus on, walking away to try and pretend to do your job.

You watched him put on his helmet, and when he finished adjusting it, he looked over at you and gave you a wink before he closed the visor, and drove out of the garage.

End of the day you walked towards the exit, ready to head back to the hotel. You had walked out with Jonas, getting a ride with him to the hotel.

Walking to his car, he nudged your side with his elbow.

“Hey” “What’s going on with Lando?” “I have never seen him like that” He had a sly smirk on his face.

“I really don’t know” “He just asked questions about the car, and I answered” You tried to laugh it off, he could not know what happened between the two of you.

“Weird” He laughed back.

Lando was standing by his car door, just about to get in before he heard your sweet laugh. He turned his head and watched you and Jonas talking and laughing together. You were standing so close. Lando felt his jaw clench, and his knuckles turned white when he squeezed his fists.

He watched the two of you get into the car and drive off, smile still present on your beautiful face. A smile he felt should only be for him. An unfamiliar feeling tugged at his heart, a feeling he didn’t like. And he knew the only person who could fix that, would be you. So he sped off after you, towards the hotel .

You and Jonas arrived at the hotel before Lando, and you didn’t waste any time making your way to your hotel room, saying goodbye to Jonas when you walked out of the elevator.

Entering your room, You headed straight to the pile of clothes on your bed, your comfy clothes, that you had left there when you had to change out of them this morning. After taking off your bra and putting the comfy clothes on, you collapsed on your bed, exhausted from the long day. You reached for your phone, and opened tiktok. But not even halfway through the first tiktok, there was a knock at your door.

It was quite aggressive, and it didn’t stop knocking. You figured maybe Sophie had just gotten back, and had some gossip to share with you. So you hurried over to open the door.

You tore the door open to stop the harsh knocking, and expected to be faced with Sophie, but instead you saw an angry looking Lando standing in front of you. You jerked your head back in confusion, and went to ask what he was doing here. But he was quicker.

He took a step forward, making you step backwards so he didn’t collide with you. He shut the door behind him, now in your room.

“Is he here?” He asked, frantically looking around the room.

“What?”

“Is Jonas here?” He was now staring at you, a fire in his eyes.

“What the fuck are you talking about Norris?” “And what the fuck are you even doing here?” You felt your eyes narrow at him, anger bubbling up inside you.

“I saw the two of you getting in his car, laughing and shit” “So you two are a thing now or what?” He took a step towards you, now so close that you could feel his breath on your face.

“Oh my god Lando!” You threw your hands up in frustration and opened your mouth to say more.

“Is. He. Here?” His voice was so low, and his eyes were so dark when he looked down at you.

“NO!” You yelled back.

And before you could tell him to get the fuck out, he grabbed the sides of your face and smashed your lips against his.

You melted at the kiss, and you snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. You couldn’t control yourself around him.

Lando was so tense, and so aggressive. But the second you kissed him back, and held onto him. You felt him relax against you. The kiss immediately turning passionate and sweet.

But Lando was still jealous, and his hunger for you only grew as you kept kissing him back. He took slow steps forward, making you follow him towards the bed.

Before your legs hit the bed, you felt Lando grab onto the hem of your sweater and swiftly pulled it over your head, your tits bouncing from the sheer force he used.

His eyes immediately found your chest and he made the softest moan.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you” He muttered.

He tore his own clothes off, and yours. Until you both were completely naked. He wasted no time in capturing your lips again, his hands roaming all over your body, before they found their way to the back of your thighs, squeezing them to signal you to jump. And you did, no hesitation.

A moan escaped your throat when you felt his dick against your inner thigh. But you didn’t even have time to think about it before you back hit the soft mattress, as he threw you onto the bed.

Opening your eyes, you looked up to see Lando still standing there, looking at you with a hungry look in his eyes before he climbed onto the bed, and made his way between you legs.

Your legs wrapped themselves around his waist, but he kept enough space between you, so his dick wasn’t near you, making you whine. You just wanted him already. His eyes immediately found yours when you made that sound, catching him off guard.

“I didn’t know you needed me that bad babe” “Patience darling” He grabbed onto your jaw as he brought your face closer to his and whispered “Patience”.

You crashed your lips against his, tightening your hold around his waist, trying to pull him closer. When he felt what you were doing, he pulled back and looked down at you with dark eyes.

“So needy”

You felt his fingers softly grazing the inside of your thigh, so close to where you needed him. Your hips moved, trying to find his fingers. And he gave in, tracing a finger through your folds.

He pushed a finger slowly inside, making you throw your head back and moan. He saw the effect it had on you, and soon added a second finger. Slowly pushing them in and out. And when he started tracing circles on your clit with his thumb, you were a moaning mess.

You grabbed a hold of his forearm that was resting on your thigh, and you opened your eyes and met his. He had that same dark look that you were getting used to seeing, and his mouth was slightly open. It was like he was studying your every facial expression, seeing how much effect he had on you.

You went to close your eyes again, you climax getting close. But he quickly pulled his fingers all the way out, the loss of his fingers making you gasp.

And when you opened your eyes to look at him, you saw him slowly bring his fingers to his mouth, he sucked his fingers clean and let out a groan at the taste.

“Fuck, you taste so sweet”

Without warning his fingers entered you again, forcefully sliding in and out. It made you arch your back from the sudden pleasure. You squeezed your eyes shut and grabbed a hold of the sheets beneath you.

It didn’t take long until he was satisfied and pulled them back out. And before you could complain again, he was above you.

You opened your eyes to see his face hovering above yours, you looked deep into his eyes, completely mesmerized. Until you felt something wet on your lips. You looked down to see the fingers he just had inside you.

“Now be a good girl and open up”

And you did. Slowly opening your mouth and welcoming his fingers.

You could taste yourself, and it made you moan. Sucking his fingers completely clean, swirling your tongue around the two digits. You could see it in his eyes, just how weak you made him.

He went to pull his fingers out of your mouth, but before they completely left your mouth, his grip tightened around your jaw.

As he was holding on to your jaw, he looked deep into your eyes as he entered you, hard, until he bottomed out inside you. It caught you off guard and you let out a loud moan.

“Fuck” “I missed you so much sweetheart” His voice was low and rough.

He slowly pulled out of you, until his tip was the only thing inside you, before he slammed back into you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He kept thrusting at a relentless pace, making your breathing uneven as he was slamming into you. His hold on your jaw softened, as he soon let his hand wander down to softly rest against the side of your throat.

He buried his head in your neck, making you hear every small sound he made. His breathing heavy, and small groans he let out. You wanted- no. You needed to hear more.

You wrapped your legs tighter around him, and your fingers raked up his biceps and shoulders, until they found the back of his neck.

You were clawing and grabbing at anything you could. And you arched your back as much as you could, the pleasure immense.

You whined in his ear. “Lando”

It made him lift his head out of your neck, his face red and sweaty. Some of his curls stuck to his forehead. He looked heavenly.

It made you grab the sides of his face, dragging him down so his lips landed on yours. It was sloppy and wet, but god, the way his mouth felt on yours was breathtaking.

Lando was the one to break the kiss, lifting his head to catch his breath. As he looked down at you, your mouth slightly open, your lips wet and pink, your pupils dilated as you looked deep into his eyes. It made him mutter out a string of curse words as he picked up his pace, chasing his orgasm.

He found that spot inside you that made you see stars, your own orgasm getting close. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, as you kept looking up at Lando, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

Lando’s hand, which had been resting on the side of your throat, moved to wrap itself around your throat, and he tightened his grip. He didn’t make it difficult for you to breathe, but he was putting pressure that made everything feel so much better.

Your hands wrapped themselves around his forearm, nails digging into his skin. Your mouth opened as you let high pitched moans slip out.

“You like that huh?” He was almost grinning at you.

You couldn’t get words out, but a drawn out “mhm” came out of you.

Your orgasm was so close, as Lando’s pace had only picked up, and he was still slamming into you with so much force.

Lando felt it, your pussy clenching just a little bit more around him.

“You close? hm?”

“Yes” Was all you managed to get out, your eyes closing as you focused.

It took all the strength Lando had to slow his pace and soften his movement just enough to not make you cum yet.

Your hips moved to try and chase your orgasm, but when Lando felt that, his hold on your throat squeezed to get your attention.

Opening your eyes, you were met with Lando’s dark eyes. You couldn’t help but beg.

“Please let me cum” “Please Lando” You sound as whiny as you could, hoping he would give in.

“I will” “When you tell me who you belong to” His voice was deep and he sounded almost angry. But a smirk grew on his face when he felt your pussy clench again, just from what he said.

“You Lando” “I belong to you” You were giving him your all, desperate for him to let you cum.

“And who’s the one making you feel this good?”

“You Lando” “It’s all you” you moaned. “Please”

“Fuck sweetheart” “I can’t resist you when you beg like that”

His hand left your throat and circled around your waist, his palm spread on your back. He lifted you with him as he sat further up on his knees. The only thing holding you in this position was his hand, his other hand on the bed, holding the both of you up.

Your own hands grabbed onto his shoulder to hold yourself against him.

He started moving his hips again, still inside you. This new position made him go just a bit deeper, making you feel fuller than before. Your climax nearing quickly.

His head once again found the crook in your neck, and buried itself there making small sloppy kisses along your neck and shoulder.

Your hand flew up to grab onto his curls as he fucked up into you, until your climax finally hit. A drawn out moan escaping you as every muscle in your body tensed before they relaxed, finally getting that release.

You felt Lando’s teeth sink into your shoulder as he filled you up. A low groan coming from him.

He slowly let you sink back on the bed, collapsing on top of you, breathing ragged as one of your hands caressed the back of his neck.

You hadn’t felt this relaxed in months, his now soft breathing almost lulling you to sleep, until you hear him softly mutter against your skin.

“I can’t get enough of you"

You stirred awake as the brightness of the sun hit your face. Slowly opening your eyes, you looked out of the window to see the sun rising, it was gorgeous.

You felt so cozy as you laid tangled in your sheets. You closed your eyes again to just enjoy the quiet morning. But right as you did, you hear someone breath out a quiet sigh against your shoulder. Opening your eyes and turning your head, you were met with a still sleeping Lando.

His face was turned towards you and both of his arms were wrapped tightly around you. His curls were messy, and cute. He looked so peaceful.

You had never seen him like this, because usually he was being a cheeky bastard. But now, you couldn’t help but marvel at his features as the sun illuminated his face.

He distracted you, so it took you a moment before you realized he was in your bed, in your hotel room, cuddling with you. You must’ve fallen asleep last night, and he must’ve not left. Why did he not leave?

You kind of freaked out a little, and you needed to pee. So when Lando turned onto his back, one arm slipping away from you, you took your opportunity and slipped out of bed.

You grabbed a tshirt and underwear on your way to the bathroom. After you peed, you stood in front of the mirror as you washed your hands. Looking at yourself, you slipped the shirt over your head, and pulled your underwear on.

You decided to do your usual morning routine while you were in here. So you did your skin care, and brushed your teeth before you stopped to look at yourself again.

What were you going to do about Lando? This time, to stop your mind from overthinking it, you decided to just open the bathroom door and walk out.

Opening the door, Lando was facing away from you, still sleeping. So you turned around to close the door carefully.

When you turned back around, a sleepy Lando was looking back at you. You froze in your place, unsure of what to do. He slowly lifted the covers to where you had been previously laying.

“Come back in here” His voice was so gravelly and low, just incredibly sexy.

“Uh- I- um-”

“Come on”

Your body acted for you as you stepped towards the bed, before you slid under the covers. His arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest. His head was resting on your shoulder, and he was actually snuggling into you. You didn’t realize how tense you were until he mumbled.

“Relax baby”

So you did. He was so warm and soft, it made you feel so safe and comforted as he was holding you. So you turned over to face him, sliding down so you could bury your face in his chest. You felt a small chuckle escape him, and one of his hands started tracing figures on your back.

You hadn’t noticed you fell asleep again until he softly asked.

“Do you have to be at the track any sooner than two?”

You left your place in his chest and looked up at him, you didn’t really understand what he said as you were still half asleep.

You saw a warm smile spread on Lando’s face. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

You lifted a hand to rub your eyes, “Yeah, but it’s fine”

He stayed quiet, just studying your face.

“But what did you say?” You dropped your hand and stared up at him.

“I just asked if you had to be at the track any sooner than two” You couldn’t place the look he had on his face.

“Oh” “Uh, no” “You?”

“No”

You didn’t really know what to say now. He had such an intense look on his face and you didn’t know what to do.

He leaned his head down to capture your lips in the softest kiss yet. It was a loving kiss, so foreign to come from Lando.

You melted against the kiss, humming against him as you let him lay you down on your back as he hovered above you, lips still attached. He was the one to break the kiss, lifting his head to look down at you.

“You want breakfast?”

“um- yeah” You smiled up at him, and nodded wildly.

He smiled back and lifted himself off to get out of bed.

You were sitting at a table outside of a cafe. The chair opposite you empty. You sat there staring off into space as you chewed on your bottom lip. Thinking about Lando’s sudden change in personality.

You didn’t have time to dwell on it too hard before a coffee was placed in front of you. You looked up to meet Lando’s eyes as he sat down across from you.

“Everything okay?” His eyebrows furrowed, he almost looked concerned.

“Uh- yeah!” “But how did you know this is my favorite coffee?” You pointed down to the cup in front of you.

A smile grew on his face. You could never get sick of seeing that kind smile.

“I pick up on things you know” He seemed so satisfied with himself as he took a sip of his own coffee, leaning back in his chair.

After a good Friday on track in Miami, you walked towards the garage on Saturday, sporting an unusually bright smile. Maybe the reason for it was the work environment?

Everyone in the garage had been in such a better mood this race weekend, you couldn’t put your finger on why. But, even Lando had a smile on his face most of the time. He was so much easier to work with, and started being really kind to the mechanics and engineers, and everyone basically.

The good mood was probably just because the team had been doing so good lately, and Miami was a great track for Red Bull. Yeah, of course it was just that.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you saw Sophie walking towards you. She looked confused and something akin to anger. It made you slow your speed as your smile dropped, worry setting in.

When she finally caught up with you she whisper-yelled at you. “Have you slept with Lando again?!”

She immediately figured out the answered when you looked down at the ground and mumbled a quiet “oh fuck”.

“Jesus Y/N” she sighed.

“I- uh- shit.” “It just happened one time ok!” Your eyes met her in a pleading look.

She didn’t answer, but relief washed over you when she cracked a smile and chuckled.

“Shit, this bad isn’t it?” She smiled even more at your question.

“No, actually not”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at her answer.

“I just asked because I had to do some media work with Lando and Oscar, and Lando has never been that easy to work with. And he was smiling and laughing more than I have ever seen.” “And I know why” She nodded, seeming so secure in her reason.

“Oh that's good!” “But yeah, that's because he’s been getting good results lately and Miami’s going to be great for him no?”

“No” You looked at her even more confused.

“He’s more happy now, than when he got his first win. And the only thing that has changed around him since then, is that you have been sleeping with him.” She looked so smug, and so confident.

You let out a short laugh. “You’re insane Sophie” “You’re suggesting he’s happier because we have been sleeping together?”

“I’m not suggesting. I know”

“Bullshit” You scoffed. “I don’t have time for this Sophie, I have to get to the garage”

“I’ll join you!”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes.

You walked into the garage with Sophie beside you as she talked about what media work she had for the rest of the day.

The second you walked towards where Lando’s car was parked, Sophie was interrupted.

“Y/N! there you are!” Lando was almost jogging over towards you, a warm smile on his face.

As he stopped in front of you, and looked down at you with such a soft look, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“We need to do the seat check, and you’re the only one who can get it right” He chuckled.

Your eyes flickered over to Sophie and you saw her smirking back at the two of you. Looking back at Lando, he just looked at you, like he was waiting for an answer.

“Oh- uh- Yeah” “Of course” You tried your best to not seem flustered.

Lando’s smile grew just a bit more and he nodded, making his way to get into his car. You looked back at Sophie and she whispered “I am so right” before she winked at you and turned to talk to some of the mechanics. .

Coming back to it, you walked over to the car and leaned over the halo, closer to where Lando was sitting.

“So, you think something needs adjusting?” You turned your head to look him in the eyes.

Your faces so close to each other as he looked back at you. And yeah, you had slept with him two times now, but the atmosphere was so different in a situation like this.

He quickly turned his head to look straight ahead before speaking.

“Yeah, just this bit here” He pointed at what he was talking about, and you nodded before standing up to go retrieve the tool you needed.

Coming back, you leaned back over the halo, and luckily it was in a place that was fairly easy to access while he was still in the car. So when you finished, you turned back to Lando.

“Like that?”

Lando didn’t answer, but as he looked at you, he slowly lifted his hand and tucked some hair behind your ear.

“Perfect” he whispered.

You could feel his breath on your face as you just stared back at him, stunned. And he just kept looking at you with those soft eyes that you were completely lost in.

Your ”staring contest” was interrupted when someone shouted for Lando. Finally being able to move, you stepped back and turned over to your workbench, and tried to shake it off. Your cheeks warm, you probably resembled a tomato.

You tried reminding yourself that he was still a dick he was probably just faking being nice so you would keep sleeping with him or something. Yes. That was definitely it.

After Lando left the garage with the person who was calling him, Jonas walked up to you.

“Is it just me or has Lando been weirdly nice lately?” He leaned towards you as he spoke quietly so no one would hear.

You turned to look at him, eyes wide, your facial expression betraying you. He leaned back and his eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused about your reaction.

You tried your best to brush it off like it was nothing. “Yeah, I just thought it was because he finally got his win, and is getting consistently good results” You forced a smile to try and seem normal, but your mind was running wild about what Sophie had said.

“Yeah sure” “That has to be it” He started smirking before he slowly walked away, still smirking at you. Your mind was panicking.

You walked into the Red Bull factory, bright and early in the morning, the warm spring sun making you mood ten times better.

As you walked past the trophy wall, you saw some people putting in two new trophies. One for first place, and one for second. Lando won in Miami, and Max came second.

You thought back to the podium where you stood underneath it all as you watched Lando get drowned in champagne, huge smile on his face. He looked irresistible up there. Good thing you didn’t get a moment alone with him after the podium. You probably would’ve folded like a lawn chair if you did.

All you had today was a bunch of boring meetings, and office work.

The day went by slowly, and when it was finally time to go home. You packed up everything into your bag. And while you stood there, you felt a presence beside you.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here today sweetheart” You could hear that familiar smirk in his voice. It made you roll your eyes.

You turned around and looked at him. He was standing so close, no doubt on purpose.

“Yes, you did” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Now, how would I know that?” His smirk somehow grew.

“Why else did you come all the way over here to my desk?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Hope” He said softly, and the look in his eyes changed.

It took you aback. How he was able to change so quickly from his usual cheeky self, to sweet and kind. You didn’t get to reply before he spoke again.

“You wanna walk out together?”

“Um- Yeah sure” You grabbed your bag and walked beside him through the building.

Walking out of the doors, The two of you walked towards the car park, and stopped in front of Lando’s car. He looked over at you.

“Did you drive here?”

“Yeah” You smiled at him.

“Oh, okay” He sounded almost disappointed, but quickly brushed it away. “See you soon then!” He smiled big at you before getting into his car.

You just managed to blurt out “See you!” before he closed his car door, and drove off.

You stood there confused for a second, before you decided not to think too much about it and just get in your own car and drive home.

You had made yourself a nice dinner, and plopped down in front of the tv to watch your favorite comfort show.

After finishing, you put the dishes in the dishwasher, and your phone vibrated from your pocket. You pulled it out, and when the screen lit up, you saw the name “Lando Norris”.

“hey are you home?”

You felt your eyebrows furrow in confusion. But you still typed out a reply.

“yeah why?”

He responded right away.

“sorry, I’m just really bored and I want to see you”

“Lando…”

“do you just want sex?”

“no!” “I know it sounds like that haha but I just want company”

Your heart made the decision for you. Fuck it.

“here’s my address;”

It didn’t take long before you heard a knock on your door, and you opened it for him to come in.

After he stepped inside, you closed the door behind him. And while your back was still turned to him, you felt his hands wrap themselves around your torso, holding you tight against him. And his forehead rested on your shoulder. It made you stop in your tracks, confused.

“A-Are you okay?” you asked softly.

“Yeah” “I am now” His voice muffled because of your sweater.

You didn’t really know what to do, so you stayed still.

Eventually he said something.

“You smell good” He mumbled as he buried his head further into your shoulder.

“Oh- um- thanks” You felt your face heat up. Strange how a compliment like that had such an effect on you.

He just kept holding you, and you had been standing like this for a good few minutes now.

“You wanna go sit down on the couch?”

“Fine” He hesitated, but slowly pulled back until you could step aside and make a move towards the couch.

Sitting down, you reached forward to pick the remote off the table while you felt Lando sit down beside you. You pressed play on what you had been watching earlier, and turned over to look at Lando with a questioning look.

He looked back at you with an innocent look, like he was kind of intimidated by your stare.

"So.. Why did you really want to come?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I honestly just wanted to spend time with you” He breathed out.

“Weirdo” You whispered while you leant back into the couch. You heard Lando let out a chuckle.

You shifted your eyes to the tv, and tried to pay attention to it. But from the corner of your eye, you could see Lando shuffling closer to you, until your shoulders, and thighs were touching.

You turned your head to look up at him. He was already looking down at you with a look in his eyes that made you feel warm and fuzzy. That man could make you feel so many emotions just from his eyes alone.

Despite wanting to drown in his eyes, you turned your head away, and looked back at the tv.

Lando was sitting there, still looking at your face studying the tv. He feared he might have pushed it too far, coming here, sitting so close. But the feeling of you leaning into his body silenced his mind quickly, and he made himself a little more comfortable as he relaxed against you.

You had been sitting in silence for what felt like 15 minutes, until you decided to say something.

“Sorry if this is really boring” “You want to do something else?” You looked over at him through the corner of your eye.

“No I’m not bored” “But is there something you had in mind?” He looked back at you.

You had just the thing. You stood up and walked over to where your Nintendo switch was, in the stand by the tv. You hooked everything up and grabbed the controls, walked back over and handed one to Lando.

“Mario Kart”

Lando’s smirk grew, “Oh baby, you know I’m going to win.” His eyes giving you a sympathetic look.

“Oh Lando..” “You just wait and see pretty boy” You gave him that same sympathetic look, and your hand reached up to softly hold the side of his face.

Lando could feel his heart beat faster. The way you looked at him and held his face. And when you called him “pretty boy” he was done for. He really considered letting you win just by the sheer confidence radiating from you. But when you booted up the game and started choosing the character, his usual competitive personality came back, and he would do everything he could to beat you.

You were on the last track, and the two of you had been so even, so whoever won this track, won the game. Lando was sweating, he would say he was surprised that you were this good, but he honestly wasn’t.

You were in first place, Lando hot on your tail. And you had just entered the last round, and Lando could see his victory slipping away. He looked over at you and saw how focused you were, your tongue sticking out of your mouth in concentration.

He saw his perfect opportunity to strike. So he bumped his knee against yours.

“Hey!” “No fair!” You kept your eyes on the screen as you tried to keep your focus.

Lando then decided to do the worst, and threw away everything he worked so hard for when one of his hands left the controller and stretched out to grab onto your waist. Making your whole body jolt with the contact.

And soon after, he started tickling you. You tried your best to make it to the finish line, you really did. But you had no control over how your body reacted to the insistent tickling.

So the controller flew from your hands, as you tried to stop his arms from moving, to no use. He kept going, now, somehow hovering above you.

Finally, he gave you a moment to breathe, his hands still holding on to your sides, as he just looked down at you trying to catch your breath.

You closed your eyes, focusing on your breath. You felt Lando bury his head in the crook of your neck, and his arms circled your waist so he was holding around you, making you arch your body up against him. He put his whole body weight on yours as he laid down on top of you. And you felt him slowly breathing in and out against your neck.

You didn’t know what to say or do, so you just let him be. You just closed your eyes and figured you might as well enjoy the comfort, because it was really really comfortable. You lifted your arms and carefully wrapped them around him, so they were resting on his strong back.

When Lando felt your arms wrap around him and rest on his back, he automatically buried his head just a bit more, and tightened his grip around you, so you were even closer than before, if that was even possible.

You could hear the quiet background music still coming from the unfinished game. And you could both hear and feel that Lando’s breath was slowing down, and his body relaxing against you.

Lando was almost falling asleep. He tried to fight it, but you were just so comfortable. And he didn’t want to admit it, but just the fact that he was holding around you, and you him, was making him feel safe and sound. Lando was on the verge of snoring, and you were noticing.

“Lando” “Are you falling asleep?” You softly whispered, a question you already knew the answer to.

“No” you felt him mumble against your skin. The sound in his voice making it clear that he was lying.

Lando felt your body shake as you let out a short giggle.

“Was it that obvious?” You felt him smile against your skin.

“You were almost snoring” “So, yes.” You kept giggling.

Lando let out a short chuckle before he lifted his head so he looked down at you.

“Well, It’s your fault that you’re so comfortable” He smiled. Such a sweet smile you loved that you were seeing more of.

Your smile mimicked his as you looked up at him. Lando’s eyes quickly darted across your face, looking at all of your features, committing them to his memory. You looked angelic. Your smile warming up his heart that had grown a bit too cold in recent years. He was already feeling the effects of your warmth. His smile being more common than it used to be. And portraying a kindness to try and match yours. If anyone knew how he felt, they would say he was falling in Love.

Your smile faded, but a soft look still remained on your face. The way that Lando was looking at you, it was like you were completely naked and vulnerable in front of him. But the emotion behind his eyes showed only comfort and admiration. So it wasn’t uncomfortable, quite the opposite.

In that moment, you hoped he would never stop looking at you like that. And to Lando, he would never even want to stop looking at you at all.

Without either of you noticing, your faces had gotten so close, to the point where your lips were just barely touching. Your hands came up to cradle both sides of his face, and the comfort of the feeling, made Lando capture your lips in a soft kiss.

He was in control, and he was kissing you oh so slowly and carefully. Lando had turned so soft and kind, like he cared for you, deeply. He kissed you like you were fragile, Which you both knew from experience that you weren’t. You couldn’t take it anymore.

One of your hands traveled up to tug at his hair, and the other wrapped around his bicep that was beside your head, nails digging into the skin, hoping it could signal him into doing more.

Either Lando didn’t pick up on your signs, or he did it on purpose. But that man did nothing to heat up the kiss. If anything, he almost kissed you slower.

So you decided to wrap your legs around his waist, your core meeting the bulge in his pants. Unfortunately, he was only half hard, but that was something you intended on changing in a matter of seconds.

You started moving your hips slowly, up and down against his length, it solicited a small hum from his throat. But that was all it did. Somehow Lando kept his composure.

But you could feel his dick twitching in his pants. The friction you received from it was making you quietly moan into his mouth. You were going to break him. Make him snap.

You disconnected your legs from him, and you almost heard him whine at the loss of contact. Both of your hands landed on his chest, and you gave a little push, signaling him. He sat up on his knees, and looked down at you, his eyes hooded.

You sat up on your knees in front of him and gave him another small shove in the chest. “Lay down.” You breathed out.

He did what you said, and layed down on his back, looking up at you with anticipation. You lifted yourself so you could sit back down over his thighs, straddling him.

You sat far enough back that his now very obvious bulge was right in front of your core.

You looked back up to find Lando’s eyes and the darkened, familiar look you saw in them, made a shiver run down your spine.

As you kept eye contact, you brushed your fingertips over his clothed dick. It made his eyes flutter close, and he tilted his head all the way back, his neck more exposed.

You flattened your palm over the bulge, and moved your hands up and down along the length, in a slow and soft pace. You could see the veins on Lando’s neck getting more visible, as he was straining himself, trying to chase the movement of your hand with his hips.

His breathing was ragged, and his eyes squeezed shut. And small, choked whimpers came from him. He looked so pretty.

You decided to give him what he wanted. And when Lando felt your hand disappear, his eyes shot open to beg you for more. But when his eyes landed on you, you had already opened the button on his pants, and dragged the zipper down.

Lando didn’t have a moment to register it, before your hand was wrapped around his length. A guttural moan came out of him, eyes squeezing shut again.

While your hand was starting to slowly move up and down, with the other, you wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock. Moving further and further down to hold on to his balls.

You could tell you were doing a good job, just by the amount of sounds coming from Lando. Both his hands had formed fists, his knuckles white as he was doing everything in his power to not snap.

You swiped your thumb across the tip, collecting the precum that had seeped out. His breath shuddered, and he opened his eyes to look at you with a pleading look.

It almost made you do exactly what he wanted, almost. But instead, you stopped your movements, and decided to torture him a little.

So you made your way to stand up and walk off. But the second your feet were on the ground, and your back turned to him. His arms wrapped around your waist, and he pulled you back down.

You were both sitting on your knees, your back against his chest, and you could feel him poking against your backside. You felt heat flow to your core just at the thought of what he was going to do now.

Lando grabbed on to the hem of your shirt, and tore it off. His hands immediately finding your bra, unclasping it, and throwing it towards where your shirt went.

His hands forcefully grabbed your breasts and he ground his hips into your ass, moaning into your ear.

You could do nothing but wait for his next move. One of his hands slowly traced along your stomach, making its way down to the hem of your pants, while his other hand was wrapped around your torso, holding you tight against him.

His hand found the button on your pants, and unbuttoned it with one hand, and slowly slid down the zipper.

His chin was resting on your shoulder, as he looked down to see his hand sliding into your panties.

You threw your head back at the feeling, resting it on his shoulder. One of his fingers found your hole, and collected the wetness there.

“Oh, so wet” He cooed in your ear.

His finger found your clit as he started circling it slowly. Your mouth had opened, as you let all of your sounds spill out.

Soon he added more pressure, and his touch was more focused. If he kept it up, it wouldn’t be long before you came.

You tilted your head so your mouth was close to his ear, and you whimpered. “fuck Lando” “Please keep going” You begged.

Quickly, without warning, he pulled his hand out. You whined in complaint.

“Not so fun now, is it?” He spoke directly in your ear.

You didn’t even have time to reply before he was pulling your pants down to your knees, and instructing you to lift them, so he could take them all the way off.

You did what he said, leaning your upper body forward on the couch, ass up towards him.

After he tore yours off, you turned your head over your shoulder, to see him hurrying to take his own off.

His hand landed on your back, pushing your upper body further into the couch, your face squished in the cushions.

Both of his hands slid down to your ass, and grabbed it firmly, enjoying the sight. And shoved you even more, so he could see more of you.

You couldn’t see what he was doing, but you felt one of his hands slide further towards your core. And then you felt how close he was when he spoke.

“God, you’re beautiful” He was in awe, just looking at you.

But soon, his finger found your wet hole, and slowly slid inside. You sighed into the couch cushion, and moved your hips back onto his finger, taking in as much as you could.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be inside you. He quickly removed his finger, and you were about to complain. But before you could get a word out, his hands grabbed onto your hips and pulled you back towards him. His dick slid inside so well, filling you up just like you wanted. The feeling almost making you scream.

He let out a loud groan, finally getting the feeling of you being wrapped around him again. He had a tight grip on your hips as he pulled you back to meet his hips everytime he shoved himself inside you.

His thrusts were getting rough and hard, and you were loving every second of it. Him in complete control, and you babbling incoherent sounds into the cushions.

You felt the heat build up inside you, and you were getting close. Lando kept his pace up and you could feel his balls slapping against you, the sound of your skin slapping together and both of you moaning was unholy.

You felt Lando lean forward, arm wrapping around your waist, and the other around your chest, so his palm was flattened right against your beating heart. You didn’t even have time to think about what he was doing, the new angle making you see stars.

Lando pulled your body up as he sat back on his knees. your back against his chest. Just like you were earlier.

He held you tight against him, as he now fucked up into you. You didn’t think the angle of him inside you could get any better, but oh, how wrong you were.

You heard Lando swearing under his breath, and you leaned your head back against his shoulder, a moaning mess, and so close. “Lando..” “I’m clo-”

You didn’t get to finish your words before you felt the hand that was wrapped around your waist, slide down to circle his middle finger around your clit. You almost screamed out, the pleasure almost being too much.

And when you felt his other hand wrap around your throat and squeeze, you were done for. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as it all came crashing down.

Your thighs were shaking, and your walls were constricting around him, milking him for all he was worth, which sent him over the edge.

He let out a soft whimper as he came, the sound alone almost making you cum for a second time.

His arms wrapped tightly around your middle, almost hugging you as his forehead rested against your shoulder.

He took some deep breaths, breathing in your scent, and hummed against you. You felt him growing soft inside you, and some of your fluids started running down your thighs.

You felt Lando softly lift your hips so he could slide out of you, the emptiness making you whine. He chuckled before he kissed your shoulder and stood up. You collapsed forward on the couch, too tired so stay sitting on your knees.

You heard Lando walk away towards the bathroom, and soon after, you heard the shower start. You furrowed your brows, a bit confused. Kind of a dick move to just hop in the shower and leave you collapsed on the couch.

You didn’t even hear Lando walk back out until you felt his fingers softly gracing your arm as he asked you; “You think you can stand up?”

You turned your head and looked up at him, you saw a glint in his eyes when he looked at you, no doubt caused by how absolutely fucked out of your mind you looked.

You softly nodded against the soft pillows and muttered out a “Maybe” as you lifted yourself up and tried to stand up. Lando’s hand held onto your bicep just in case you needed any help. And he looked like he was ready to catch you if your knees even buckled.

Which they did, and Lando immediately wrapped his free arm around your waist, holding you up with such a force that your toes were the only thing touching the ground.

After he just fucked you like that, he was so soft and caring. You really liked this side of him, and silently wished you could see more of it.

Lando’s eyes searched yours with a hint of worry. But they softened when you reassured him you were fine. But he kept an arm wrapped around you as he walked the two of you towards your bathroom, where the shower had been heating up.

He helped you step inside, and followed after you. And the two of you enjoyed a nice warm shower together, him holding around you almost the entire time, constantly worried your legs would give out.

You were softly awakening, feeling your hair being brushed behind your ear, and soft fingers tracing your face. You slowly opened your eyes to find his eyes looking back at you.

Lando had a lovesick smile on his face. “You look so beautiful in the morning” His voice was deep and raspy.

You felt yourself blush and you lifted the covers to hide your face.

Lando sat upright and lifted one of his hands to try and tug the cover away, “No, don’t hide” “I want to see you”

You peeked your eyes over the covers, seeing nothing but truth behind Lando’s eyes. You lowered the covers.

“Thank you baby” His smile grew, and you saw his eyes searching your face, like he was trying to count the freckles on your skin. It gave you a moment to do the same, now really noticing the moles beside his nose, and the ones scattered across his cheeks.

You noticed his face coming closer to yours, and when you met his eyes you saw how he was looking at your lips. You sat up and met him halfway, reaching up to hold his face, dragging him back down. He threw out an arm to hold himself above you, leaning more into the kiss.

Lando was the one to pull back, and looked at you with a glint in his eye, like he knew something you didn’t.

Before you had time to think about your words, your mouth opened.

“Why are you so nice now?” You saw his mouth frown slightly, the sight making you wince. You wanted to take it back.

You opened your mouth again to try and fix your mistake, but Lando was quicker.

“I know..” “I have been thinking about it myself” He sighed and laid down beside you, and quickly glanced at you before he looked anywhere but you.

You saw that he was struggling, regret seeping into your veins. “I’m sorry Lando, I didn’t mean it” “You don’t have to say anything” “I’m so sorry” You carefully looked at him, wanting nothing more than to smack yourself for talking before thinking.

“No, no” “I’m just trying to collect my thoughts. I’m not that great with words” He let out an awkward chuckle.

His eyes finally met yours again, and you could see the vulnerability behind Lando’s eyes. He smiled softly before speaking again.

“My last few seasons at McLaren were not good. The car was not working for me, and I wasn’t doing good mentally, so I really started to spiral. I made the mistake of not talking about it, and that only made it worse.” “It made me angry and resentful. Which made me lose the people close to me.” “I got so used to being like that, thinking it was the best solution. And then I made the move to Red Bull, it made it better in the sense that the car was better, I was less miserable. But It still didn’t change my attitude and anger. Thinking that if I went back to being the old me, it would hurt me.”

“So when we slept together the first time, it made me feel so confident.” He smiled sheepishly at you.

He continued. “And when we slept together that second time, it made me feel unstoppable. And that morning, I was so comfortable around you that I didn’t even think about how I was acting. It was such a nice morning. The nicest one I’ve ever had.” You felt yourself blush.

“And after that day, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I found happiness in everything, something I haven’t felt in a long time. It never even crossed my mind about my change in attitude, until people asked me about it.” “And when I thought about it, I just thought about you.” His eyes no longer met yours, a shyness about Lando that you had never seen.

“When I’m with you, I feel like myself again”

Lando couldn’t bear to look at you. A realization hit him about what he just told you. He just started talking about his feelings, and he had told you everything, something he didn’t think he would ever do.

Lando felt your soft hand on the side of his face, and he felt you now laying on top of him, hugging him. You buried your face in his neck. You were speechless. Lando had said he wasn’t good with words, but that was a complete lie.

He had confessed something to you that no one ever had. No one had ever told you that you were the reason they could feel like themselves. You didn’t really know how to feel about that.

Lando started to feel something wet hit the sides of his neck. His eyes shot open in realization. “Are you crying?” He asked you with so much concern in his voice.

Oh shit, you got caught. You tried to carefully keep your breathing steady as you slowly shook your head.

“Y/N, look at me please” He almost whispered.

You slowly lifted your head to look at him, and when your eyes met his, you could see the worry in them.

His hands cradled the sides of your face, and a thumb flew out to swipe away a falling tear.

“Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong” More worry found its way in Lando’s eyes.

“No” You softly shook your head as you whispered.

You lifted a hand to hold on to one of his. “No one has ever said something like that to me before” You let out a small breath before you continued.

“Thank you Lando” You sighed, a soft smile on your face.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you thanking me?”

Your smile grew. “You just bared your soul to me, Lando.” “And you told me that I make you feel like yourself again.”

“Yeah, so if anything, I should thank you, for listening to me” His thumb swiped across your cheek again.

“Lando. You shouldn’t have to thank me for listening to you.” “I would never want to stop listening to you”

“Please never leave me” He said it like he was actually begging you. His eyebrows furrowed.

“I wouldn’t even dream about it” You leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

And when you pulled back to look at him. You started to recognize the look in his eyes, it was like he was looking at the world. The universe. And he found that in your eyes.

Who's crying? not me! (yes I am.)

Taglist;

@laneyspaulding19 @formula1mount @chonkybonky

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #lando norris #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #ln4 x reader #ln4 #lando norris x you #mclaren f1 #formula one

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wandagcre · 9 months

Text

drive you mad (part 1) | sam carpenter 🔞

(Mob Boss!Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader)

You’re reunited with your old friend, Samantha Loomis, and she couldn't be any more of a puzzle to you. It doesn't take long to become entangled with her once again – replacing the previously wholesome hangouts; this time you find yourself being in her sheets way more often.

WARNING: dom!mob boss! sam, sub!reader, public sex, voyeurism, mirror sex, praise, degradation, fingering, poor communication, mentions of violence, hints of stalking, sam referring to you in spanish endearments (bc why not), not proofread +18 / men & minors dni. Words: 10k+

[ PART ONE of TWO | Next ]

[ series masterlist ] | [ masterlist ]

You liked the universe and its ways of diverting you into paths you never thought to cross paths once again.

Weeks ago, attending another lousy gala was against your whole will. It didn’t seem necessary to you, finding no difference whether your presence was something that would be amiss to the buffoons dressed in suits of your multimillion dollar company. Sure, you completely detested the idea, yet you gave it a chance, as your good colleague turned into a friend – was nagging you for days before the event. She insisted it was an opportunity (a scenario eerily familiar to your college days as if it was a mere frat party) you thought that might as well maximize these so-called connections, right? So, you caved in and went dressed to kill, anyway.

Funnily enough, the said colleague was nowhere to be seen even if she was the sole reason of your presence here tonight. She claims that she had the flu and so you were forced to take in the hors-d’œuvre by yourself.

Here you were, in a fitted beige-colored pantsuit. You didn’t know whether it was your fake it ‘till you make it mantra during work, but you managed to survive (so far). Sipping in your flute of champagne and socializing with people. Your feet were starting to ache and so were your cheeks due to the endless polite smiling you have done for the night. It was draining, so to say.

Just as you were on your way to the bathroom to do some touch up, a recognizable voice made its way to you.

“Please do tell me that you went here without a date, (y/n/n).” a sultry voice uttered directly on your ears and you turned to them too fast, almost getting a whiplash.

You haven’t heard of that for a while. It was a nickname that your closest friends and family called you by.

Lo and behold – it was Samantha Loomis.

Your eyes fluttered as she left you flabbergasted for multiple reasons. Sam had you putting your hand on your chest, beating madly as if you’ve seen a ghost.

“Shit. Sam, you scared me, Jesus. Can’t you say hello like a normal person?”

She bodied the suit better than every man in the room. Sam stood with hands in her pocket, an aura that can easily rival anyone else’s confidence in the room, her jet black hair was fixed in a neat ponytail. She was donned in a well put navy blue suit – truly tailored to her perfect figure, emphasizing her good attributes. Damn this woman. Sam was still taller than you and insanely oozing with attractiveness.

Another thing? This woman was the one you were silently pining over during your teenage years. You were also heartbroken when she left town abruptly, leaving no trace behind.

“Finished checking me out?” she says, cocky. “Not one hi for me? you’re still easily frightened, (y/n/n).” a smile ghosts on her face as if Sam knew a secret. “So, how are you? If you’ve got a mystery date for tonight, I’d say they are doing a bad job of keeping you entertained.”

“Hi. Happy now?” You immediately blush at her blatant flood of compliments. “And I’m fine. Really, I’m just here to enjoy the drinks and all, maybe a bit of expanding in the work field too. So, it’s definitely just me – a last minute decision.”

Sam nods, eyes trailing on you.

“I’m more than happy to hear that. ‘Cause that also means I can do this–?” she reached for your hand and pressed her lips at the back of it, making you flustered more than ever.

You weren’t used to Sam being this direct. She was affectionate, but not to this extent. She was more laid-back as you recall, not as forward and not this flirty. Women had always been your achilles’ heel but to experience this with Sam in the present time – it was a no-brainer that your old feelings were being tested.

“You always do this to the women you encounter?” you raise an eyebrow.

“Just you, (y/n/n).”

The way she kept saying your nickname felt too intimate as it was the one you were previously called back in one of the towns you used to stay in. One that Sam was a part of until she moved again – a common occurrence in her life that she mentioned in passing – albeit you were somewhat expecting it, you didn’t actually think it would hurt that much still.

You were by each other’s side all night. She blossomed into a refined and sophisticated woman, answering questions from other gentlemen and business people in the room with unshakable confidence. It was apparent too, with how they looked at her with respect. Sam even introduced you to others too, by your respective job and all, definitely buttering up your good qualities too that you haven’t even realized that this was benefiting you in your long forgotten plans of exposure.

“I don’t think I should be with you Sam,” you whisper close to Sam who had her eyebrows furrowed at your words. “Whatever your business is, it’s definitely beyond what I do. Wouldn’t it be sketchy? Or like using you? Because that’s not–”

“Now slow down, honey. It’s no problem with me. Honestly, I was just thrilled to have you by my side tonight and you deserve the good word and all. It’s still me, (y/n/n).” she assured you as she held you softly by your shoulder.

Exhaling the distress away, your stomach soon fluttered at Sam’s intentions.

“I’m having fun too, just so you know.” You truthfully admit, stopping a stupid smile to spread on your face. Sam gleamed at your words, evidently content as you are.

Soon you were catching up a little with life. Sam asked you how long you have been away from your hometown and what brought you to a new one. You sheepishly say that a new start was long overdue for you and interestingly, Sam returns the same sentiment, albeit there was longing in her tone but it disappeared quickly as it went. Before you could attempt to pry for more, a new set of people were catching up to the two of you, making you sigh.

Sam murmured to you after the man had left. “That man is definitely a no. He’s got a good history of attempting to shag his secretaries. Bound to be kicked from their board soon. I assumed a terrible workload and possibly environment, too.”

“Noted. Crossing that one out immediately.” You snorted at her unfiltered yet helpful tip. “He was rather creepy with how he was staring.. It’s like his first time seeing a pair of boobs during Victorian times.” you quip and laughter filled your chest.

“Did he now?” Sam squinted her eyes. “Well… you’re absolutely a sight for sore eyes, alright.” You see her eyes now surely over the valley of your chest.

Was she really checking you out?

Another new information for you is that Sam had apparently grown playful. You were astounded to receive her gaze, you elbowed her side. “I’m just saying! But him? oh he’s not worth your time, is all.” Sam reasoned, petulant.

“And you’re no better.”

“Excuse me, I am. I was simply admiring you.” she quipped at you very quickly and sipped her drink.

“If you say so. And hey, what about her?” you subtly point at the tall, middle-aged woman you met earlier.

“Uh-uh, also a pass. Better CEO than him and the others, for sure, but you could do better. A bit of the same as the old man, just a woman version of him on a somewhat low profile.”

You look with much interest now. For two different reasons – one, because you didn’t expect that and two, how exactly of a big shot was Sam to know all of this insider information?

“Doesn’t sound bad to me.”

Not for me. Sam murmured as she sipped on her drink. You look at her quizzically, obviously not catching her words.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said, what about that one…” Sam subtly points out another person across from you.

She listed out the company’s stand point, what they were looking for, and you momentarily tuned out – savoring her voice that melted in your ear.

“How do you know all of this?” You blurt out.

Sam was sporting a distant tight-lipped smile. “I own a few businesses from here and there. Can’t spill them all to you in one night. I have to remain mysterious so I can be interesting for you, don’t I, honey?” she tilted her head.

For the hundredth time that night, your heart pounded and cheeks were crimson once again, all by Samantha Loomis.

This morning as you flipped through the channels, it reported the death of a wealthy CEO, stabbed in most inhumane ways and his eyes were reportedly gouged out.

Momentarily, you felt sick to your stomach until you realized that it was the same man who was a creep from the gala. You vividly recall Sam's words; with this man's business fluctuating badly and his poor work ethics, your thoughts gradually eased and snapped yourself out of it. He did see that one coming, you suppose.

You couldn’t be any more grateful that you’re far from that circle.

While you were terrified, it didn't stop you from going outside by yourself. Normally, this routine of yours is done during day time. However, resting got the best of your time this weekend and so with a resigned sigh, you came prepared with a pepper spray that you blatantly held as your free hand pushed the cart. Your stock of groceries wouldn't be done by itself, after all. Were you paranoid? (The answer is yes, rightfully so).

The mundane chore was going well.

Until you were on one aisle, on your tip-toes, barely reaching the chips that were now placed a tier higher than normal. It’s like a trick and you were being played, as coincidentally, it was the last one on the rack. You irrationally listed this as a bad sign - change wasn't to be welcomed for you in times of horror.

The lighting grew dark and it shadowed you. it triggered your fight or flight mode as this person towered you from behind, the scent strongly engulfed your senses and so did their body frame, making you gasp as their front was almost pressed against you.

They picked up the item for you and as you turned around, it was Sam.

She hasn’t preoccupied your mind for a while and you take in her presence as a fresh breath of air.

"Hey, pretty girl, I don't want you getting hurt." She joked and dropped the chips herself on your cart.

"Fancy seeing you here," you retort with equal amusement to the woman in front of you. You thought it was unfair that she always stunned you as you saw her casual get up.

Sam wore a bomber jacket and a navy baseball cap. She handheld her own cart and interestingly filled it with junk food, just like yours, and a couple of cleaning disinfectants.

"Do you usually shop this late?” Sam quips gently, hearing the concern in her tone.

You sheepishly smiled, "I know. But in my defense, work kept me late unfortunately. Or maybe it was me over napping..." admitting it out loud felt silly. "I don't have much of a choice. I ran out of stash in my pantry and while it's not really a good time.. wait, I don’t mean that with you, but what I meant is that, given the circumstances happening right now - it’s horrifying to be out and about."

Sam raised an eyebrow at your rambling. She found it endearing that you had to clarify each time how you liked her company.

"And what circumstances are we talking about?"

"You know, the whole killing thing," you hushed down low and kept walking with Sam who hummed right behind you. "Haven’t you heard it yet? It honestly had me worried. I don't want to be put in that position."

You both come across the isle of candies, you picked up a couple of them. Embarrassment soon crept in the more you confided your fear out in the open and how you revealed your unhealthy fix of snacks in the presence of Sam, the woman you're swooning about.

"I see. That explains your trusty pepper spray," Sam nodded along in understanding. "Say, do you mind if I accompany you? Sticking together could be better, after all." she lightly nudged your side with her arm and swiftly took over to push your cart by her own.

An easy smile crossed your features. You can't say no to spending more time with her.

"I'd like that very much."

The simple scare and business exchange was the start of your reconnection with Sam.

It seemed that Sam was sticking for good - or near you. At least, that’s what you thought so. Her place couldn’t be that far as you happened to come across her for a few times already.

A few days later she surprised you, sent a rather straightforward message and opened up how she misses you (you almost fainted on that message). Come the weekend, Sam called you to say that she’s sending a driver to pick you up around 6 PM. After you gave her your address, Sam notes to dress in nothing strict and formal as the gala, and you quote Sam who said in her own words: just bring your pretty self.

It was rather bossy and forward, if you were being honest. Though your senses dulled it out of bias, being Sam’s friend in the past she hasn’t done anything to put you in harm.

Another thing that brought you to a conundrum was how it sounded like a date but you didn’t want to be that hopeful – even with her endless flirting. You simply note it as another Sam evolution; a part of her confident self. The driver who picked you up was dressed in casual business attire, no older than late 20s, gave you a polite smile. He introduced himself as Martin and referred to Sam as Ms. Loomis and as you were in a phone call with her, she immediately confirmed to you that it was indeed your ride.

Relief washed over you, feeling secured enough with the whole get up. Especially with the case of brutal murder as of recently.

Arriving at the place, the door was opened for you and he mentions that he’ll be parked at the same place. The restaurant itself was one of the places you haven’t had a chance to visit yet, mostly because you didn’t feel zealous to spend a lot of money on a glorified casual meal. The ambience striked your interest immediately, the interior was cozy, and welcoming – especially for whatever they served, the aroma made your stomach rumble.

Looking around, it was opposed to what you expected – there was no single sight of business suits hovering in the place. They were stuffy people in casual attire, maybe.

“You made it.” Sam stood up from her seat and your eyes fluttered at her beauty once again. Her floral scent was hypnotizing and covered your senses as she went for a hug. “How was your ride?”

“It was nice. I like your car,” you timidly say as Sam pulled a chair for you.

“And I like your outfit. You look so beautiful, (y/n/n.)” Sam’s words were earnest and crimson quickly spread on your cheeks and rose up to your ears.

The stark contrast of her in formal attire with slick ponytail was apparent, yet equally so attractive. Sam stood in plain tight polo, baggy pants and some sneakers with her hair loose. She gave you a warm smile and her eyes also did a once over to your figure; you were dressed simply in a knitted zip top that hugged your torso, some trousers, and decent platform shoes.

“Says you. You’re absolutely charming, it’s unfair.”

“Don’t start that with me, honey. We’ll be here all night arguing about that.”

Sam grinned at how you affectionately rolled your eyes at her quip. As you settled in and looked at the menu, you noticed the familiarity. It was on par with your tastebuds. She definitely remembered your type of crowd. You hid a smile with this information.

However, your joy was temporarily cut off as you noticed the server giving Sam the heart eyes as she took note of the order, although the latter paid no mind, swiftly reiterating your orders with her polite smile, it didn’t stop you from getting irrationally bothered on the inside.

You should have seen this coming. Surely, other people were bound to find Sam attractive as much as you do.

“Have you ever been here?” Sam eagerly questioned, her doe-eyes all on you. “I was nervous to pick a decent place, to be honest. I didn’t want it to be stuffy and stiff, but not too casual – only because I wasn’t so sure with your taste now, so I relied on my (y/n) senses.”

You were quick to nod off, “No. I was interested but I never had the chance.” a slow appreciative smile spread on your lips. “Your senses were right - don’t worry, Sam. They definitely serve the type of food I like. I hope you didn’t compromise that much for me." While you liked the thoughtfulness, you wanted Sam to have a good time as well.

“Well, that’s great! It means you can enjoy it with me that way. Don’t worry, based on their menu it seems appetizing for me, too.” her eyes lit up assuring you, and it was an adorable sight. She showed you another side of her again, reminiscent of how you remember her relaxed state and wasn’t as constricted from the gala held days earlier. “I have to ask.. is this setup okay with you? In case you’re… seeing someone.”

You’re surprised at her interest at your love life. Her attention remained fixated on you and it made you blink couple of times.

“Definitely not seeing any woman right now. Nothing recently.” you hint your preference, in case Sam hasn’t picked up on it yet even before. You haven’t come out back then.

Sam smiled at your response. “That’s a relief. Means I won’t be breaking any faces any time soon.” your eyes widen at her words. “I’m kidding, (y/n/n). Or not.”

You nod along at Sam’s words with an unsure smile, not knowing what she exactly meant by that. You shrug it off as her odd humor.

“What about you, any lucky person yet?” you asked, it was your chance to know more about her too.

A playful smirk was written on Sam’s features.

“Funny thing is that it's the same case for me, I haven't gotten around it for uh, for some reason.” she ended sheepishly and shuffled a bit on her seat. “I could be eyeing on someone, who knows. But I have to be mysterious to you.” Sam’s voice dropped an octave lower. If you didn’t know any better, your delusions would think that she’s implying suggestively to you.

While her vague answer didn’t provide you what her type was, it was a relief for you to know that Sam is not off the market yet.

Both of your smiles barely wore off since then. Soon you were finally eating your go-to food and Sam with her chosen pasta. You debate whether you should finally ask Sam of her sudden disappearance, but you really didn’t want to spoil the mood either.

“Are you okay? Something wrong with your meal?” Sam leaned in to you and you quickly motioned no.

“No, no. It’s just– I want to know, why did you have to leave?” you can’t help it but the hurt dripped on your tone. “It was so sudden and I haven’t heard from you since then… and now, you’re here again.”

You felt silly because it was a long time ago. Seeing Sam in flesh again gave you a whiplash, you valued her presence as she was your confidant during your hard times. If it weren’t for the gala, maybe you’d be left wondering until now, you’ll never know.

Warmth covered your hands, surprised that Sam has taken them to intertwine with hers.

“I can’t say the full details yet. But.. I’m here to stay. Believe me, honey. What happened then - it has something to do with my father. You knew how unstable things were at home, right? And I was expected to… step up into things at a faster pace than I can ever imagine,”

You only had a slight idea – if Sam before wasn’t very talkative and open – it was a thing that definitely remained until now. Sometimes their house was rowdy, full of men that wore notable sparkly ostentatious accessories. You only knew that his father’s job was demanding and that he was uptight, didn't want Sam to be out late, she had to sneak to parties, and was harsh with his words - even in front of you. It reflected the fear that glinted in Sam’s eyes when you were caught at their house, at the same beat, Sam also seemed to respect him. It was odd and the similarity of her tone was not lost on you but you didn’t push further.

You also wondered how Sam's sister, Tara, is doing and most likely all grown up now.

“Is it enough for you right now?” Sam meekly asked you, hopeful glint in her eyes.

You mimic her playful smirk from earlier.

“Only if we get mint ice cream right after this and I’m paying.”

Sam let out a relieved sigh, leaning back to her seat and an easy going grin gracing her features once again.

“Alright, whatever your heart desires, (y/n/n).”

After a wholesome reunion (or date?) the two of you were on a weird loop. At least for you. She was bearing gifts that weren’t so little at all – packages were being sent to your house, always coming with a handwritten note that said ‘reminded me of you’ with a scribbled wink, sometimes a heart, and seeing Sam became a part of your routine. It was all you looked forward to every week – seeing Sam – that your friends even asked whether you were dating someone as you appeared more occupied than ever.

At this point, you have visited restaurants and stores you could only imagine. Sam mentioned that having to try delicacies with you was a terrific experience, she liked your honesty and fun quips of critique. Although it shifted to something you’d say – a bit odd. While she was warm and welcoming, she never stopped by at your house.

Although you weren’t going to lie, it made you curious. Disappointed, too. Was she embarrassed enough to avoid being seen dropping by in the eyes of the public, in an intimate way? Granted, there wasn’t anything intimate going on.

Other than that, it dawned to you how tactile Sam was with conversations. It was always knowing something new and familiar, never delving into something deeper.

For her sweet quips, you remain confused whether it was flirty and intentional, after all, you didn’t think that Sam was to take interest in you romantically speaking. So, it was a challenge for yourself to not get any less flustered. Especially when you’re crushing over her.

"Hey, pretty girl. Wanna eat out tonight?" Sam smoothly asks you from the other line and you snorted at her forwardness.

You peer over your window at the kitchen before shutting the blinds. You didn’t know whether it was still the lingering paranoia you felt over the gruesome murders and the irrational fear that you could be next.

What if they were watching you?

"Dunno Sam," you scratch your nape, debating your answer as you remembered the events happening outside. "Is it safe? A brutal death happened recently. And you know, honestly, Sam – it rattled me a little more than I thought it did."

"Is this about the CEO? Honey, I've told you that he was already in deep shit. his decisions have probably caused him to dig himself into a bigger mess unimaginable."

The lack of care in Sam’s tone surprised you a little. But your mind weighed in the facts; these were billionaires who fucked up, didn’t do anything good for the others, and put themselves in the wrong crowd. You give Sam credit for that similar thought as you assume.

"Okay, but still…"

You hear Sam cooing in sympathy. "If it helps, I have my men around. We’ll be safe. You’ll be safe with me, don't worry." she promises with conviction enough for you to believe her.

You hummed as you rethink your answer. You wanted to hang out with the woman you've been crushing over (again) and having an idea of how her bodyguard's in question are built, you feel yourself leaning more to saying yes.

"I guess that helps yeah- you just had to be so damn convincing, didn't you?" Even if this was a call, you can already see the stupid grin that Sam has now. "Alright, I'm sold with that. I'll see you later, Loomis." you playfully sing-songed to which Sam giggled as you dropped the call.

“Let’s try something new today.” Sam said in her low voice and to your surprise she held the car door open for you in the passenger seat and you weren’t in the backseat this time.

“Don’t we always?” you refer to your eating escapades with her.

To your shock, Sam went to the driver’s seat.

She was the one driving for today?

“Nuh-uh. We’re going to my house.”

“What?”

You turn your head fast to face Sam with your expectant eyes; filled with surprise and excitement. After all, your brain was racking itself with much curiosity of what is going on with your friend slash crush’s personal life. When Sam caught the glee in your expression, her own eyes crinkled at the corners and muttered something about how adorable you are.

As you parked outside, you noticed familiar vehicles that tailed the one you and Sam were in. You only saw a few of them before, the men only looked at you out of politeness – as if their eyes weren’t around to linger – and they were more pliant with Sam. It instilled an idea that your friend was this much of a respected person.

“Don’t worry, they’re with us.” Sam informs you and you were shy of how evident you were glancing at the side and at the back.

You took tentative steps inside her home, surprisingly it was bursting with colors. It was apparent that Sam liked the idea of experimenting when it comes to style, as her interior and decorations felt straight out of magazine.

In her living space, she offered for you to sit first. She looked messy this time – not as neat after work, her hair down again instead of the usual ponytail, which seemed unnatural for someone so polished for her professional state.

“This was all of a sudden, sorry. I can’t… I’m a shit host for tonight. I’m honestly not feeling well today. I can get someone to fetch our food, whatever you like, it’s on me mi quierida.”

“You could’ve postponed this thing that we have. I mean, I don’t mind.” Okay maybe that was a complete lie – but you didn’t want Sam to feel forced.

Sam tilted her head. “And risk depriving myself of not seeing you? I do mind that. More than you can imagine. I guess you could say that I selfishly wanted you all by myself tonight, regardless.”

You feel somersaults in your stomach – making you squirm at your seat. Before you can process her words further, your attention panned to Sam’s hands and grew alarmed as you saw a faint view of her knuckles were red, you figure it'll be bruising the next day. She tried to hide it a lot as soon as decent lighting was present. Sam discarded her silver watch and then removed the champagne from the bucket near her to submerged her closed fist as it contained ice. It clinked against the metal, and as seeing her face, her chestnut eyes kept fleeting over you – observing.

"What exactly were you doing anyway?" Amusement was in your tone, although concern crept in quickly. You didn't want Sam to be hurt in some fight club. Or any way, for that matter.

Sam beckons you, "Come here." she softly uttered. as you did, her free hand rested on your lower back. "I ran into a small inconvenience. I guess you can say that I handled it well."

You snorted at her poor joke. A boyish smile spread on her pretty face.

"If you're joking with that shitty pun… I'll take your word for it, Loomis." You slid an arm around her neck, patting her shoulder affectionately.

It was truly a gesture meant to be playful but it appeared that it became a cause to shift things between you two. The proximity made you hyper aware with your heartbeat pounding loudly by the minute. You can’t even look Sam in the eye, remaining frozen.

"Uh-huh. You should trust me with it, mi quierida. You know I always mean well.”

Sam smirked, as though she knew something you didn't. She was difficult to decipher at most times but you shrug it off, noting it as a part of her charm. It was her thing thenand apparently, until now.

Case in point: her sneakily trailing her hand lower as they were, now resting on the slope of your ass. She grabbed you by its underside, feeling her fingers digging into the flesh. Knees growing weak at the contact, you barely stifle a gasp. It was surprising yet very welcomed and better than you imagined.

She rubbed her calloused hand back and forth on your back soothingly. "Stay... stay the night with me.'' Sam whispered as she nosed the crook of your neck, her breath against your skin spreading goosebumps.

It was an all-too familiar scene, however, Sam was bolder.

“Let me give you your present for tonight,” Sam husked out, her face moved to bite on your earlobe – her hands needy all over your body. “or… just say the word and I’ll stop,”

You were pulled in, moaning as you finally cracked through the tension. Both of you no longer teetering in friendly boundaries. It was hard not to – not when it was Sam you adored for a great chunk of your life and how her siren eyes were pierced onto yours. As Sam was nervous, you were simply stunned and returned the same feeling as you did.

"Okay,” you responded shakily yet you moved with an ounce of bravery, finally affirming your answer by grabbing Sam by the nape and lips crashing with much need, electrifying you.

Sam devoured you in her satin sheets until you were swollen, frazzled, and dripping.

The next day, you discover that another case of murder has happened in your town. This was an odd occurrence, as while death is inevitable, it was surprising to hear more of them happening in a short period. More so, it was unusual to hear of a brutal case in your normally nonchaotic town.

Fear began to creep into you as your colleague mentioned it was another CEO yet, this time it was the woman whom you've also met from the gala – being there, meeting these people and hearing them as nothing but reported deaths now felt like a bad omen. It created quite the buzz in your workplace, after all it was one of your company's competitors, too.

Shiver ran down your spine; you couldn't be next, right?

If you were to follow the pattern, it only suggests isolated killings of wealthy figures and you couldn't be any farther from that. You were another normal person who’s only trying to get by.

Then you remember Sam and the extra security she provides to you. All this time she had kept you safe and away from harm. You found solace over the thought, so you exhale and tried your best to let go of your worries.

In all honesty you were only expecting to pull connections that can land you higher positions that promised bits of grandiose escapades in between – all tied to your work during that gala – and you’re surprised that you landed in Sam instead, though in a much more compromising position that ignited your whole body for days. Sometimes you can’t even move due to soreness. More often, you burned and yearned for Sam’s touch.

It’s like the woman imprinted on you.

Sam finally brought you to her actual place which was a good breaking point. As soon as you saw past the soaring entrance and the modern architecture that greeted your wide eyes. So far, it appeared that she was indeed the only one based on your frequent stays – only men in between casual and formal attires, some being her bodyguards and maids as well were around the area.

You were surrounded by a lavish wardrobe that you can only dream of. You were amused that you share similar skin-care products as her when you first used her personal bathroom. It was a good coincidence, it made your stay-ins much more comfortable and efficient.

The spacious place felt intimidating to your bones as you walked around halls and doors after one another, although you’ve handled much more terrifying things that were specifically this she-devil.

It was a surprise to you how she can swoon you with her gentleness and barely any of that remains in the bedroom activities. She was absolutely rough and domineering.

She continues to take you to different places you’ve never been to before. Though, now they were private and more high-end properties. Today, Sam took you today to where you wouldn't normally get your sexy undergarments.

It was sultry and inviting to the ladies. The assisting ladies were polite, kept a minimal distance, and didn’t blatantly stare unless their attention was called to. You and Sam came by fairly early, hence the lack of people, you assume. You were fascinated with the quality of the garters and fabrics that felt different on your fingertips.

One of her men, Martin, stood by inside the store. Sam assured you that everything was fine, it’s only a precaution and more of a just-in-case business thing. She kissed you before you could ask anything else, effectively distracting you.

Finally having both of your picks, you were welcomed by another part of the area where the sconce's recessed light only added to the thrill that was covering the lavender hall of the boutique. It certainly made the atmosphere downright sinful and erotic. For a minute, you thought that maybe you can handle being Sam’s dirty secret. You felt so dizzy. Feverish. Needy.

Sam placed a final kiss to the side of your neck before she was gently ushering you to go, seeing the familiar look of hunger in her eyes as if she was controlling herself - it made you shiver with the same desire - then you went in to fit.

You nervously stood in front of the mirror, doing final touches on the laces. Sam insisted that she prefers seeing you fit the lingeries instead of her dropping them on your face out of nowhere – something you appreciated.

Slipping yourself into the intricate laces of the lingerie, you were unable to stop nitpicking on the blemishes and stretch marks that were on your skin and how apparent they were beyond this flimsy material that attempted to cover your intimate parts.

“Don’t forget to show them to me, alright?” Sam hollered from the other end.

You try to suck it up, being snapped out of your insecurities. “Wanna come in here?”

“No, come out here.”

In disbelief, you shook your head no even if Sam couldn’t see it. What did she mean by that?

“Are you crazy? There’s… there could be people out. Just come here,” you whisper-yell to Sam.

“There’s no one. We arrived early and just – trust me. It’s only me out here, seated, completely alone.”

You hesitantly move the curtain in the fitting room and step out. Indeed it was silent and no one was there just as Sam reassured. It helped that the room was actually just for the two of you. As you stood there, you felt so naked and raunchy, being were dressed in nothing but lingerie.

“What’s the verdict for this?”

Sam was manspreading on the emerald upholstered chair and you stood in between her legs, inquisitive.

“Oh, baby.”

“How is it…?” you fiddle with the laces, not meeting her eyes.

Sam looks at you with her mouth agape. She didn't say much but surprise was written on her face. You cannot help but overthink still, as your skin wasn’t flawless nor ridiculously skinny like any other models that Sam surely had been entwined with at one point… or even now.

“Hey, are you feeling okay, (y/n/n)?” Sam questions and taps on her thigh. “You aren’t comfortable with this one, are you?” she worriedly asks, her hands on your side, rubbing to soothe you. “Because you look so stunning to me, god,”

You refuse to meet Sam’s eyes, “I- I don’t think I look flattering at these. I’m no model, Sam. Surely you had better.” the distaste on your tone didn’t go unnoticed by the woman who frowned at your words.

Your insecurities began to gnaw in rapidly; what if Sam had other women on days you weren’t available? It made you sick to your stomach.

“What makes you think that? Oh, baby this is the best I’ve ever had.” Sam tugs you by your forearm and while you are teary eyed, she places a gentle kiss at the back of your hand. “I’m sorry if you felt forced to do this. You can take it off now if you want. If I’m being honest, I only thought of wanting to see you strip for me."

The explanation had put your mind at ease. It definitely gave you a sense of comfort that to some extent, you do matter to Sam.

“We could have thought of something else. I.. I’m just not feeling this, Sam, it doesn’t fit me. I’m sorry.”

Sam's heart sank at your words. You weren’t to blame at all. Soon, you felt her fingertips subtly tugging down your skimpy underwear to which you put your hand above hers, halting her movements.

"What – Sam, someone might see us," nervousness washes over your expression, you don't want to get caught in such a vulnerable state.

Sam only looked at you with her dilated eyes. "As if I'd let them see this. Trust me, we just have to be quick, princesa, because I can’t wait much longer.." her fingers smoothly went to hook her fingers under the garter of your underwear and moved to grab the base of the fabric. “Let me apologize to you in this way.” She gave it a pulling tug, your moan vibrating in the small space as it deliciously cupped your pussy lips. “You look so beautiful right now, (y/n/n).”

You barely stifle a moan from erupting out of your mouth and feel yourself drip with wetness.

“My pretty girl is getting turned on with a fucking wedgie? You’re just as turned on as I am, aren’t you?” Sam moistens her lips, “So pretty and all for me. You can’t be loud in here baby, I need you to stay quiet. Don’t want others to hear you moan.”

“Thought- there was no others,” you whimper at Sam who only smirked.

“But the assistants are outside. Can’t have them knowing you’re such a whore for me, hm? Now turn your back to me and look at your pretty reflection.”

Nodding your head profusely, you swallow the lump in your throat. It made Sam chuckle in delight, her eyes gleaming. She pulls up the fabric once again, you’re sure that a wet patch is now evidently staining it. She pokes it with the pad of her two fingers and brushes them back and forth, the friction bringing you pleasure.

She interrupts your reverie by halting her motions, unclasping the bra off you and the intricate straps – one your eyes lingered to – only you didn’t realize that Sam saw the dismay on your face, as though it didn’t fit you. It would be an understatement for Sam to say that she abhors seeing you treat yourself this way.

You observe her hooded eyes now full of desire as she looks up to you – it’s undeniable with how it matches her actions, feeling Sam’s thumb pressed then on your back muscle, letting go to run over her hands all over your torso. It’s soothing although given your position, you feel the want and her touch intoxicating you.

“Sam, please.” you begged, ass pushed to her direction with your posture bent over.

She merely laughs and smacks her hand hard on your ass. The sound echoes in the dressing room. You hissed at how it stings.

Sam had always found your curious look so endearing. You always looked so ready for her to take, attentive, always so curious and beautiful.

She moves her hands agonizingly slow and sensual to your hip bones – brushing her thumb against them – to the skin right under the curve of your ass. You shriek out loud with eyes rolling back to your head, temporarily forgetting that you’re in a public place as Sam notches it up by squeezing you tenderly.

Repeatedly.

“Look at the mirror, (y/n)” Sam sternly orders. You shudder with eyes wide, still not moving. “My little bunny is not dumb, aren’t you, my sweet thing? Don’t make me repeat myself.”

You gulped audibly and a string of moans were pulled out of you as Sam kneaded your supple breasts pleasingly. Being bare while Sam was fully clothed made you uneasy. Looking at the mirror didn’t feel right - seeing yourself become this needy and you meet Sam’s eyes in the reflection. What was her point in doing this? You don’t know either how it intimidates you yet a tinge of excitement is unmistakably laced underneath your impression. While you weren’t new to her roughness, this was particularly still felt exhilarating to you.

Lost in a haze of lust, the ambience changed within the store – it felt as though you were trapped in a heating chamber. It’s charged and so electrifying to be in a compromising position with Sam – while it was a secluded and high-end one that provided privacy, you hoped that no one barged in soon.

Sam left a kiss on your lower back and feeling her hot breath brush on your skin made you shiver run down your spine, snapping you out of your worries.

“I’m going to need you to sit between my legs, (y/n/n). And I’m gonna fuck you with my fingers until you understand in your pretty head that you’re beautiful, hm?” Sam’s words echoed titillatingly on your whole body, your breath hitched and bothered.

Soon as you sat hesitantly onto the couch between her legs, Sam gripped it and opened it wide for you as she saw you squirming and shakily closing your legs. You saw yourself in the reflection - how bare you were. And all you can think about is Sam and how you’re about to soil the velvety seat. She tuts at your shyness and manoeuvres her hand, wrist curling as she glides one finger over your soaked slit, gasping at how you were already so wet – teasing you.

You sharply inhaled, chasing more of Sam’s touch. “Told you that I’m gonna fuck you in front of this mirror, baby. So don’t hide yourself. I’d like to keep you like this, so gorgeous and ready for me.”

Sam did it for you – adjusted her own thighs to accommodate your legs, placed them on top of hers and spread them for you to see how exactly you were dripping. The wetness trickled down the expanse of your inner thighs out of your folds. Sam had a wolfish grin, what you’d describe as predatory and hungry for you. Lolling your head back to Sam’s shoulder, you hear her grunt as she glides her fingers now directly to your folds, eventually entering inside of you.

The sloppy sounds of your wetness echoed in the room. It didn’t help that you felt Sam pressed the base of her palm against your pelvis as her curled fingers rammed madly inside of you. You were pouring out your arousal.

“Oh Sam, oh fuck– fuck, fuck!” heat rose on your belly, coming in waves. Sam responded by pressing kisses on your now sweaty face.

“Mm yeah? More?”

“Yes, yes… Please, Sam!”

You were lost in the haze of lust, driving you dizzy, as your pussy kept pounding with Sam’s rapid thrusts. A slew of guttural moans were out of your mouth – not even minding how loud you are now. You feel how your own core clenched and sucked the entirety of Sam’s fingers, taking a peek in the mirror proved it enough – it was a terrible decision for you.

“Open your eyes, come on now, my good girl. Don’t want you to miss out on how beautiful my sight is.”

Your teeth caught your bottom lip, you comply for Sam’s sake. She called you a good girl, after all. You kept bouncing on her slender and now thoroughly soaked fingers, your slick all over her pants and you saw how it trickled down to damp and darkened the very upholstered chair. Seeing yourself blushing and so fucking used, your pussy squeezed once again over Sam’s fingers and to both of your delight, her thumb pried and did circular motions to your clit.

The pleasure shot you straight in waves over your body and vibrated so deliciously.

You meet Sam’s thrusts and as you bounced, you also saw how intently focused she was on your reflection.

“God, look at these tits,” Sam roughly squeezed the flesh, making them aggressively jiggle. “I fucking love having you like this baby. Aren’t you my good girl?” she hotly whispered to your reddened ear, giving your earlobe a bite.

Her other hand that supported you by the waist, crawled up to grab the very breasts that she verbally appreciated.

“Come on, say it.” Sam gave it another squeeze – plenty that made you mewl – and tugged your perk nipple harshly. “and look at me as you do.”

“Yes, yes, yes! I’m.. I’m your good girl!”

“Mine only,” Sam growled and you felt her teeth sinking in the skin of your neck, biting and nipping. “Oh how I wanted you for so long, like this for me…”

You moan as you turn your head, not minding the awkward angle, not in this needy state of yours you did mind. Neither did Sam, who was visibly appeased with her pearly grin as you do – even more when you shifted your gaze to the mirror and this time, you actually stared at it.

“Such a pretty thing, aren’t you?”

Your hand slithered to Sam’s nape, who was almost as breathless as you. You tried to keep a firm grip on her as you feel more lost in the pleasure.

“Yes, Oh… oh! Sam!”

You nod instantaneously making the woman smile even wider. Soon, Sam’s fingers were sloppy wet and rapidly applying pleasure on her pad and focused on your very clit. You couldn’t do anything but elicit more expressive moans and squelching noises that bounced through the room as Sam fucked you dumb. The coil in your stomach finally untangled, leaving you breathless.

You meekly look at your figure in the reflection once again. Your cum trickled down continuously, leaking out of your pulsating hole. Sam panted lowly in your ear and inserted her hand again, making you grab her inner wrist as you felt the oversensitivity. She hushed you to calm down and she was gently pumping.

It was indeed a pretty sight.

The thick slick of your arousal and cum soon was on your lips, Sam prying it open. It wasn’t up for discussion – you didn’t hesitate either. You taste the bittersweetness coating your tongue and mixed with your saliva, eagerly sucking out of Sam’s fingers. She moaned at your enthusiasm, encouraged by this you sucked more of your remains out of it, your teeth grazing along and Sam pushed it deeper until you felt her slender fingers slightly poking at your throat.

Once she was satisfied, she handled you differently by flipping your position so now you straddled her leg and faced Sam instead of the mirror. Her lips quickly made its way to give you open mouthed kisses to your sternum, to your neck, finally your mouth.

“You did so well, mi amor. And you were so pretty.” You shyly nodded at Sam’s praise. “Remember that, hm? Regardless of dressing like this – lingerie or not – I’ll look and appreciate you the same way.”

“Mm-hmm,” you lazily nodded and met Sam’s gaze.

After Sam helped you dress your clothes. While being fucked the lights out earlier was heavenly, the walking out of the fitting room was not pleasant at all. Your legs feel like jelly, you can barely walk properly without Sam’s tight support on your waist (you refused her offer of carrying you not wanting to be further embarrassed) but it helped that there weren’t any side glances from the assistants.

Oh, heavens. You forgot that Martin was also waiting inside the boutique. Even if he remained mum, you couldn’t be any more humiliated today.

Sam pushed back her slightly tousled hair and you helped her smoothen the back of her clothing. As for her trousers, the damage has been done and it’s currently stained with your wetness. An odd sense of pride came at you because you did that.

Sam held the undergarments – even the one she destroyed and fucked you into and personally offered to place it inside of the provided bag and then handed her black card.

“We’ll take the seat too, the green one in the fitting room. I’ll send someone to pick it up today.” she uttered in what you recognize as her professional voice, the lady simply smiled, replying with Yes, Ms. Loomis, as she agreed with no hesitation.

You hid your face in the crook of Sam’s neck and your cheeks burned. Sam only giggled at your shy reaction. She wrapped an arm around you and brushed your hair gently as she leaned closer to you.

“Come back ‘ere.” Sam lazily mutters, voice still raspy. She was still in bed which was such a miraculous sight. Not only because her godly body was exposed but the fact that she stayed in. Her arms were reaching out to you, caressing your bare lower back and eyes barely open. “It’s so cold, you know.”

You gave her a wistful smile. “And you do know that I’m out of clothes here, right? I also happen to have a place of my own, Sam.”

“You can always–”

“–borrow yours, yeah. I know, Sam. But I have to go. My work stuff isn’t here either.”

She sits up fully. “Okay, baby.” Sam replied dejectedly. You shake your head at how she’s acting like a kicked puppy and barely the same as an insatiable sex god from last night. “How about I drive you home? This is an inarguable offer, by the way.”

Sam gave you a pointed look and you can’t help but think if she’s tricking you – seducing you, almost. She’s unashamed with her nakedness and the way she crossed her arms, further made her biceps prominent, the mysterious scar across them, and her supple breasts gave you a mouthwatering view. You chose to ignore how your stomach fluttered at her use of endearment. The more time you spend with Sam, the more they slip out.

“Don’t talk business to me, Sam. You’re so annoying.” You turn back fully facing her with an impish disbelief, grasping at the sheets to cover yourself.

Sam looked at you with childish glee on her face. “Excuse me, you were the one who brought up work. I’m simply reminding you of what you are absolutely missing while I’m on leave for today, mi princesa.”

“Fine, fine. It's not my fault that I’m a corporate slave.”

“That’s why being with me is a good idea.” Sam insists with a kiss on your jugular notch. “Come on, I was planning to make your favorite dish. Maybe you can do it with me, what do you think?”

“Very professional.” You sigh at Sam’s silliness unfolding in front of you. “You just know all the right words to say…”

She crawled her way to you, shutting you up by capturing your lips with soft ones. It was chaste and you felt her smile in between. Moments like this only tugged at your heartstrings. It deluded you that it was somehow coming home to your girlfriend, only to be shaken to the reality of you knowing it was an unlabeled limbo with an old friend. So you shift, initiating with much force this time, getting rough with how you were kissing Sam as though it was your last time.

“Am I still annoying if I do… this?” You feel Sam’s calloused fingers smoothly trailing on your inner thighs, making you shiver. You throw your head back as you reeled to her touch. The familiar wetness reemerged on your core once again.

Before she could do anything else, her phone rang. Sam immediately went for it and barely a trace of her sweet disposition remained as she excused herself.

You blinked at her reaction, paying not much mind to it. Instead, you let your body relax in the softest mattress you’ve ever laid on and quickly, you’re pulled by the thoughts of Sam again, missing her already as you sprawl onto the bed, smelling the distinct coconut shampoo and addicting lotion that she uses and how it clung to the space you laid in.

Half an hour had passed. Getting up, you look around where she could have been, only to find her out in one out of two living rooms, absorbed with the phone call she's in. It wasn’t your plan to eavesdrop but your heart sank soon as the words became much clearer to your ears.

"Yes, I'm dropping by the strip club tonight... of course."

Strip club… tonight? Her words came out in a hush, obviously Sam didn’t want to be heard or rather, caught. No wonder she has been insistent on you to stay this morning.

You simply weren't Sam's fix for this evening.

With cautious steps, you retreat back to Sam's bedroom and with the disgust that brewed in, bile rising in your throat, you start dressing up.

"I thought we agreed that you're staying?" Sam raised her hands in confusion.

"Work couldn't wait, sorry. It’s bugging me the more I ignore it.”

Sam’s face fell immediately at your sudden change of mind. Your heart twinged a little, almost believing that it was genuine.

"Alright. Let me drive you home, (y/n/n)."

Your smile twitched as you hummed in agreement. Suspicion and confrontation will rise if you didn’t, and given what you just found out, you truly didn’t feel up for it.

"I'm bummed that you won't be cooking with me, just so you know. I'll make it alone - don't worry, it will be filled with love and care, a perfect fix as you get your reports done." Sam enthusiastically clasped her hands to you and it only made harder for you to stop the tears that were threatening to pour.

The way Sam took you in her grasp, arms loosely clung around your neck and the mesmerizing gaze she held was doing the opposite reaction. You felt repelled, uneasiness continued to flow through your mind. You've just heard her in the same beat a few minutes ago planning to go to not only a mere club to drink for fun - but a strip joint? Her intentions became even more confusing to you.

Your resolve was crumbling and it was becoming apparent when Sam leaned in for a hopeful kiss and you dodged it, her puckered lips hit the corner of your mouth instead. If she was baffled and had finally picked up your sour mood, you didn't see it as you continued to avoid her gaze.

The car ride was silent. It didn't even occur to you that Sam actually drove you home, but instead of filling the space with laughter and bickering over your taste in music, the two of you were met with an odd silence. You peer at the window throughout the ride, the silent turmoil grew inside of you at the backseat as the car drove on your way home. Eyes fluttering rapidly, you feel the waterworks coming in. Of course this was only a matter of time before it was confirmed to you that you weren’t only the one being fucked by Sam.

You felt gross. The inkling worry that filled you previously turned out to be right. You just hated yourself for blindly trusting her and giving further meaning to her mistaken gentleness.

Honestly, you did plan that to be your last time to see Sam.

At least temporarily, you wanted to avoid her. You kept making excuses about how you had a lot of work to do. You knew it was unrealistic to actually avoid her forever, not when you literally were tangled with her on her sheets for a couple of months already. Unless you were to flee the country, of course. The idea is slightly tempting. You consider it, albeit impractical, it’s one of your last resort of choices.

You were used to her scent from her bedsheets to her clothes and to her sleepy self arguing that she is very much awake during your random movie nights, her voice – everything revolves around Sam now and you hated it.

It felt like you were a teenager again with a hopeless crush on the girl you’ve liked from afar for years.

Even as you pulled away from Sam, your brain was racking through heaps of what-if thoughts – were you ever enough? Why did she have to make you feel so special, leading you into this domestic bliss? She always made time. Besides the good, you witnessed her downs, the aggressiveness, how her indistinguishable job took a toll on her. All because she let you in. You wondered why she even thought of you as worthy as such, yet made you feel of being less than that, at the same time?

However, if there is a light to all of this domesticity you shared with Sam that gave you warmth, there were also a lot of questionable actions that she specifically kept on doing. She appeared hesitant with dropping you off to your house and insists that one of her drivers will do the honors instead – with the sex on the table, it made you feel disposable and cheap – or how sometimes hours after sex; you get a sleepy glimpse of Sam sneaking onto the balcony. The faint noises of her raised voice in her phone, doing god knows what – you were there, unaware if it was a conversation with another woman and maybe, just maybe, Samantha Loomis wasn't as heartfelt as you naively believed her to be.

As you expected she didn’t drop by at your house. Her little gifts and take outs from restaurants that you liked and visited with her continued to be sent every weekend. You didn’t know whether it was out of pity or a proper goodbye in her own terms, making your stomach churn uncomfortably at the thought.

Your friends weren’t any less worried even with your now constant appearances for hangouts and karaoke nights, they gently explained that your mind often fled elsewhere and your gloomy disposition was noticeable. It’s not that they were annoyed, your friends were concerned more than anything. So, you finally open up but not too much. You retell you were in this Friends with benefits recently and it ruined your sanity, for better or worse, all in vague descriptions. After all, you were sure that now Sam was more likely ashamed of being seen by you and wanted to keep her bachelorette status.

The chorus of oh sweetie in an understanding tone immediately came and when they hugged you, it worsened the longing you felt for Sam and how you have been entangled with her this whole time.

“It sucks how you can get roped into that so suddenly.” Jane, your friend, empathised. “does that count as a situationship – or whatever it is they call it nowadays?”

“Let’s call it friends with benefits for the sake of simplicity.” Margo, the colleague who ironically was one of the main reasons why you got into the gala and met Sam, nodded her head with no hesitation. “I don’t understand why it is that hard to communicate something simple as that. And getting her fix of pleasure in another place, too, Jesus Christ.”

“Feels a bit of a power trip to me. Based on what you’ve said, how she’s got a sexy mysterious vibe going on and while that sounds sexy in other ways, I can only imagine how it must’ve taken a toll on you, (y/n).” Jane adds with a forlorn expression on her face.

They were expressive with their opinions - you liked how your friends were very protective of you. They felt betrayed almost as much as you do soon as you mentioned that Sam was a friend of yours way back.

Although, you hated how there’s a lump in your throat and a part of you was ready to jump in Sam’s defense. Before you drown more in the thoughts of her, you decided to pour another shot.

“Fuck that. Let’s drink to this,” your words come out slurred and your friends only follow suit.

Sam didn’t stop spamming you with messages. It was expected considering that she’s the most insistent person you have met yet. Still, you shrug her off, saying that you work overtime these days and you don’t feel like being a booty call for a while – or ever for her. But Sam’s resolve proved to be unwavering as she updated you about her thoughts and invites of coming back home; her words, not yours.

“You know, if you’re up for it, you should totally meet this girl. Most blunt person I’ve met yet, so.” Margo indiscreetly implies that it shouldn’t be as troublesome as your previous limbo was. “She’s also really hot. And just down for either something casual or serious, depends how you talk about it.”

“Margo, you know I don’t think–” you shake your head. Besides being full of what-ifs and considering that you might have a good time, your thoughts keep bouncing back to a specific Latina in your mind.

Your mind swirls, not knowing why it feels like a betrayal deep down.

“Just give it a chance.” Margo interrupts, firm with her stand. “One date. It’s also been almost two weeks since you’ve been moping. You know we don’t mind that but- I just wanted to tell you that the dating pool is full of choices.

What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre

#gg.writes #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter smut #sam loomis #sam carpenter x fem reader #lesbian #wlw #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x female reader #scream vi

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corroded-hellfire · 1 year

Text

As You Wish - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: When Eddie isn’t appreciated like he should be, his babysitter feels the need to step in and comfort him.

Note: This was intended to be a short little spicy blurb. Yet here we are. Babysitter!reader just might be my ultimate weakness. Reader is 20, Eddie is early to mid 30s.

Warnings: smut, oral (m and f receiving), p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), babysitter!reader, infidelity, language, older!eddie, praise kink, breeding kink, I think that’s it?

Words: 10k

Part Two | All stories in this universe

“Ryan, did you finish your homework?”

Small dark eyes peek out at you from behind the curls that fall into his eyes.

“No.”

Thankfully, this kid is honest to a fault. The day you first catch him in a lie you’ll be afraid he’s turning into his bitch of a mother.

“And why not?” you ask.

“I need help,” he says quietly. His voice sounds ashamed, and it etches a crack in your heart.

“Then you ask.” You sit down next to him at the kitchen table and push his hair out of his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, okay? Everyone needs it sometimes.”

Ryan nods his head and pulls a folder out of his backpack. While he shuffles some papers around, you hear his younger brother on the other side of the couch, making car honking and crashing noises as he plays with his Hot Wheels.

“Luke, are you hungry?”

“No!” comes the response in between fake automobile sounds.

Ryan slides a piece of paper in front of you and your eyes glance over it. You’re not surprised it’s his reading homework again. He’s often gotten embarrassed about being behind the other kids in his class.

“Okay, we got this,” you tell him. “Oh, I know you know this word.” Ryan stares at it, brow pinching in concentration. “Come on, sound it out.”

“D…dif.” Ryan pauses to let out a sigh. “Differ. Differen. Different. Different!”

“You got it!”

A smile brightens his face as you wrap your arm around his shoulders. He looks so proud of himself, and it warms your heart.

Luke gets up and walks over to you at the table. Even though you’ve been watching him for over a year now, you’re still shocked at how much Eddie’s youngest son looks exactly like him. He’s a miniature Eddie with blue eyes. Luke rests his head against your shoulder, and you wrap your other arm around his shoulders.

“What’s up?” you ask Luke.

“Bored.”

“Bored?” you ask. “You were just playing.”

“Now I’m bored,” Luke says.

The front doorknob turns and both boys’ heads snap in that direction. Luke’s gone from your side before Eddie even has a chance to step one boot inside the threshold. He’s expecting it though and swoops his youngest son up in his arms as he steps inside.

“Hey, what’s up, rugrat?” Eddie asks. He kicks the door closed behind him and manhandles Luke until he’s holding him upside down.

“Ahh! Daddy! Put me down!”

“You sure? Okay.” Eddie holds him over the couch and drops him on his back onto the soft cushions. He kicks his boots off in the doorway of his bedroom and tugs the hair tie from the back of his head, setting his wild curls free. The dark blue coveralls still adorn his legs, the arms of the jumpsuit tied around his waist, and his plain white t-shirt is smudged with dirty fingerprints.

“Hi, Dad,” Ryan says, front tooth missing, making his smile even more adorable.

Eddie presses a kiss to the top of his head as he walks by, pressing one to yours next, shooting you a playful smirk as he walks into the kitchen. He’s only messing around, so why are your cheeks heating up so much?

“How was work?” you ask.

“Same old, same old,” Eddie says. He walks over to the table, popping the cap off a water bottle and chugging down half its contents in one go. The way his Adam’s apple bobs as he drinks catches your attention and you can’t seem to tear your eyes away. When he pulls the bottle away from his mouth, you turn your eyes down to Ryan’s worksheet, so you’re not caught staring.

“How’s work for you?” Eddie asks.

“Pretty good,” you tell him. “You saved me though because a certain little someone told me he was bored.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and turns to look at Luke on the couch.

“Bored? Again? Really?”

Luke shrugs and runs around the couch to launch himself at his dad. Eddie catches him with one arm, not spilling a drop of water from his bottle in the other. It’s hot, really, how effortlessly strong he is. You’d been by the garage he works at twice when your car was acting up, and the way Eddie looked bent over the hood or slid underneath the car had you thinking of ways to sabotage your own vehicle.

Ryan tugs on your sleeve and points down at his homework again.

“Right,” you say, shifting in your chair to look down at the paper again.

“I can help him with his homework,” Eddie says. You glance up and shoot him a smile.

“It’s no problem. Looks like you’ve got your hands full anyway.”

Luke lets out a war cry as he hangs onto his dad’s arm, little legs kicking dangerously close to Eddie’s crotch.

“Watch the goods,” Eddie warns him. You’re forced to look back down at Ryan’s worksheet and try desperately not to think of said goods. Not like you haven’t thought about them every single day since you met him.

“Enormous!”

“What?” Your head jolts up to look at Ryan, cheeks heating up and eyes wide.

“That’s the next word! I know this one!”

Letting out a deep breath, your eyes see the next word on the page is indeed “enormous.”

“Very good,” you tell him.

“I know it ‘cause it’s in my favorite book,” the seven-year-old tells you with a proud smile on his face.

“You’re such a smartie,” you tell him and ruffle his hair. He kicks his legs back and forth under the table and his tongue pokes out of his lips as he looks at the next word on the paper. Both boys have the same habit of sticking out their tongues when they’re concentrating, just like their father.

Ryan is able to sound out most of the remaining words on the list on his own, only needing your help once or twice. He happily puts his homework away, excited to show his teacher tomorrow how well he did. When he goes off to play in his room, Luke following behind him, you stand up and grab your bag. Eddie’s leaning against the doorway in the kitchen and your eyes catch the clock over his shoulder. Usually, Brittany’s home by now. You must make a face at the thought. Either that or Eddie can read your mind – which you really hope isn’t the case.

“Said she’s working late,” Eddie says.

“Mm,” you hum. That’s bullshit and you both know it. You don’t trust yourself to say anything about her without insulting his wife to his face, so you keep your mouth shut.

“What do you want for dinner tomorrow?” Eddie asks.

“Anything as long as you’re not cooking it.” Your teasing smirk has him pushing off the wall and knocking his shoulder into you as he walks past.

“Oh, you’re so funny,” he says dryly as he opens the fridge and grabs a beer.

“Whatever the kids want,” you say, answering his original question.

Eddie snorts as he opens his beer. He turns back to you and your eyes involuntarily track the bottle up to his lips and the way his throat moves when he drinks. You really have to stop staring at him when all he’s doing is simply taking a drink.

“They’ll eat anything, you know that,” Eddie says once he’s taken a sip. If he noticed the way you were looking at him, he doesn’t let it show. “You’re a pickier eater than they are.”

You scoff and reach out to swat his arm, making him chuckle.

“I am not,” you say. He raises his eyebrows at you and sets his beer down on the counter.

“So, should I pick up sushi on the way home from work tomorrow?”

“Oh, come on,” you whine. “That’s like, the one food I don’t like.”

“Uh huh,” he says, a playful smile dancing on his lips. “I’ll leave money for pizza, then.”

“I can afford a pizza, Eddie,” you say. When you’d first met, he’d almost winced when you called him “Mr. Munson.” He’s just been Eddie ever since.

“You’re not paying for a pizza my kids are going to eat most of,” he says. “S’bad enough you’re working outside of your usual schedule.”

“Eddie,” you say, taking a step towards him. “I’m your babysitter. It’s literally my job to watch your kids when you’re not going to be home. My schedule is whenever you need me.”

“It’s a Friday night, you should be going out,” Eddie says with a shrug.

“I could’ve said I was busy, and I couldn’t watch them. But I wasn’t, so I am. Besides, it’s your anniversary.” At this, Eddie gives a quick roll of his eyes which you politely ignore. “I wasn’t going to just bail on you. Besides, I didn’t have a date or plans with friends or anything.” You think you’re imagining the spark of fire in his eyes when you mention a date, but you secretly hope you’re not.

“Which is ridiculous,” Eddie says. “Don’t understand how you’re not constantly hanging out with friends or dating or stuff.” He shrugs and takes a step closer to you. “You work too hard. At school and work.”

“But I’m passing my classes,” you tell him. What you don’t tell him is that you’ve turned down invitations to hang out with friends, frat parties, and even dates because you’d rather watch Ryan and Luke just to see Eddie for the brief moments before he left and when he got home. You’ve never admitted that to anyone, actually, because you know it’s pretty pathetic to be so enamored with the father of the kids you babysit.

“Of course you are,” Eddie says. He smiles and reaches out to tug on a lock of your hair. “You’re ridiculously smart. Can be anything you want to be.”

Your wife, you think before mentally smacking yourself. He’s married. And celebrating his anniversary tomorrow. Even if his wife is a cheating, lying bitch.

“I’m working on it,” you say. Speaking of which, you have a paper due tomorrow so you probably should leave. As much as you really don’t want to. “I should head out.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You will.”

Eddie walks you to the front door and you grip the strap of your bag so hard your knuckles are turning white. It’s not fair, this effect he has on you. It’s maddening.

“Get home safe,” Eddie says as he opens the door for you.

“Thanks.” You give him a small smile as you step outside. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

When you step up to the Munson door the next day, you can already hear Brittany screaming at one of the kids somewhere in the house. For as long as you’ve known the family, the kids have never once given you a reason to scream at them, nor have you seen Eddie ever get above slightly raising his voice at them. Before you lift your fist to knock, you let out a loud, long groan, releasing all the tension already in your body since you’re about to be given more.

Brittany answers after a long minute of you waiting. Half of her dirty blonde hair is up in curlers and there’s a mascara wand in her hand. She looks crazed, which isn’t too far off, you think.

“Oh. Aren’t you early?” No hello, no greeting.

“Um, I don’t think so. Eddie told me five.”

“Oh.” She walks away from the door, leaving it open behind her, and you know that’s the closest thing to an invitation inside that you’re going to get. Taking advantage of being alone in the entryway, you roll your eyes as you toe off your shoes and close the front door. Luke’s laying on the couch, watching Lady and the Tramp, so you plop down next to him and squeeze his ankle.

“Hey, you,” you say.

“Hi,” Luke says, eyes never leaving the animated dogs on the screen. His five-year-old mind is clearly immersed in the story, so you decide to leave him alone and head into the kitchen. There’s a pizza menu on the table, along with a twenty-dollar bill. You huff a laugh and go to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

“Hey, have you seen my…” Eddie comes around the corner, only in a pair of fitted black pants, and stops short when he sees you. A smile appears on his face as he looks at you though, which only causes your stomach to flutter more than it already was at seeing him shirtless. You refuse to take your eyes off of his because you know you wouldn’t be able to help yourself from gawking at his chest and soaking in every little detail of his pale skin. “You’re not my wife.” Yeah, I fucking know, you think. Don’t remind me.

“Maybe I could still help,” you say. “Have I seen your what?” Your voice sounds scratchy, so you take a large sip of water, hoping he’d only think you sounded off because you’re thirsty. And you are. In multiple ways.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Eddie says.

Yeah, because the bitch was screaming, you think.

“Brittany let me in.”

“Honestly, you can just walk in whenever you get here,” Eddie says. “You’re family at this point.”

Say I’m like a little sister to you and I will cry.

“I’ll remember that,” you say. “Now, what can’t you find this time?”

He throws you a teasing glare as he walks over to the counter, shuffling through the clutter there.

“I’m looking for a small blue bag. I thought it was in my coat pocket, but I can’t find it.”

“You sure?” You’re admiring his naked back as he searches, eyes trailing down to his ass in the beautifully flattering pants, but your eyes snap back up to his as he turns around.

“Listen, my sunglasses were on my head once when I lost them.” “And your wallet was in your hand that one time you were looking for it,” you tease him.

“Okay, Miss Smartypants,” Eddie says as he walks closer to you. He wraps one arm around your shoulders and digs the fingers of his other hand into your ribs, making you let out a loud squeal as he tickles you. Instinctively, you go to push him away and your hands rest on his bare chest. You swear you can feel physical sparks under your skin as you touch him.

“Eddie!”

The yell coming from his bedroom has Eddie dropping his head forward and letting out a sigh. Reluctantly – you’d like to think, anyway – he lets go of you and shoots you half a smile as he makes his way down the hall. Your head is filled with a dizzying excitement and the urge to cry all wrapped up in one. Turning to walk back towards the living room, you catch sight of Eddie’s coat draped over a kitchen chair. With a smirk on your face, you walk over to it and slip your hands into the pockets. Unsurprisingly, you pull out a small blue paper bag from the left pocket.

“You adorable scatterbrain,” you mumble to yourself as you put it back where you found it.

Ryan runs down the hallway and almost bumps into you. He slides to a stop on his socks and grins as he pounces on you. His arms wrap around your middle, and you chuckle as you hug the boy back.

“Missed me, huh?” you ask.

“Yes! And guess what?”

“What?” you ask, pulling back to look at him. His head tilts up to face you, a smile identical to his dad’s beaming up at you.

“I got an A on my spelling test today!” “You did? Oh, I’m so proud of you!” You pull him in for another hug and kiss the top of his head. He chuckles and squirms out of your grip.

“Dad says I get to pick a new book at the store this weekend.”

“That’s amazing, buddy,” you tell him. “I told you you’re a smartie.”

“We gonna get pizza?” Ryan asks, eyes catching the menu on the table.

“We are,” you tell him. “What kind do you want?”

“Sausage,” he says, not to your surprise.

“And Luke will want pepperoni,” you say.

“Wow, you’d think you’ve been here before,” Eddie says as he comes back into the kitchen. If it was possible for a voice to smirk, his would be doing it now. Unfortunately, when he enters this time, he’s in a shirt. It’s a nice shirt, though. It’s a beige color with razor-thin black stripes going vertically down. The sleeves are pushed up to his elbows, showing off your favorite of all his tattoos: the bats. You’ve spent far too much time thinking about those seven inked bats.

“Heard you’re taking a trip to the bookstore this weekend,” you say to Eddie. A proud look comes to his face as his eyes shift to his son. It’ll never cease to make your heart soar, seeing how much he loves his children.

“Sure are,” Eddie says. “And he gets whatever he wants.”

Ryan’s grin grows and he walks over to his dad who musses his hair before pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Oh, I found your missing bag.” A smug smirk comes to your face as you cross your arms over your chest. Eddie’s eyes shoot up to you.

“Where?” he asks.

“Your pocket,” you say through a laugh.

“Are you shitting me?” Ryan shoots his dad a dirty look and Eddie just shrugs apologetically at him. He makes his way over to his coat and lets out a sigh of relief as he pulls the bag out. “I could’ve sworn I checked there. Jesus, you’re a lifesaver.” Eddie opens the bag as Ryan leaves the kitchen, going to join his brother in the living room. There’s a small black velvet box in Eddie’s hand and his eyes flit up to yours. “Want to see?”

“Duh.”

Inside there’s a diamond necklace with a delicate silver chain. You gasp as your eyes take in the piece of jewelry. It’s gorgeous. Eddie smiles as you lean in to take a better look. The charm is the silver outline of a heart with a diamond right in the middle. It’s the perfect size and you can basically feel how it would rest against your skin. But, of course, it’s not for you. It’s for the woman who’s cheating on him. The thought has you pulling back from the necklace, and you clear your throat.

“It’s beautiful,” you tell him. “She’s going to love it.”

“You think?” Eddie asks as he closes the box.

“How could she not?” you ask, a small, forced smile on your face. How could she not love the necklace? How could she be such a lying bitch all the time? How could she cheat on such a wonderful and gorgeous husband? You’d never understand how her mind works.

Eddie replaces the gift in his pocket just as Brittany walks into the kitchen, hair and makeup now complete. As awful as she is, you can’t deny that she’s pretty. Her heart-shaped face framed by long wavy hair, and bright blue eyes underneath thick, dark lashes. She’s wearing a dark red dress that hugs her curves and you feel suddenly self-conscious in your jeans and t-shirt. It’s obvious why Eddie would fall for her when they were teenagers, but it’s not as obvious why he’s stayed with her all this time.

“Ready?” Brittany asks.

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie says. He grabs his coat from the chair and shrugs it on his shoulders.

“Make sure they take a bath,” Brittany says as she snatches her purse up from the counter.

Before you can answer, Eddie steps in.

“Britt, she knows,” Eddie says. You give him a grateful smile. You’re pretty sure that you’ve gotten her kids to take more baths than she ever has. At least they like and listen to you.

You follow both of them into the living room where Brittany snaps her fingers at her sons to get their attention. It’s like she thinks they’re the dogs they’re watching on the television.

“We’ll be back after you’re asleep.” The boys are hardly paying attention to her. “Listen to her more than you do me.”

Her. Not even your name. But they’re always great for you, something you’d love to rub in her smug face.

Eddie actually goes over to give his sons hugs and kisses goodbye, which they both return wholeheartedly. Brittany checks her watch as Eddie gives Luke one more kiss.

“Be good,” he tells them, to which they nod. “Thanks again for watching them.”

You wave him off as you follow them to the front door. Brittany strolls out, heels clacking on the pavement outside as she marches to the car. Eddie gives you one more smile before he digs his keys out of the pocket and follows after his wife. With a sigh, you shut and lock the door behind him. God, what you wouldn’t give to be in Brittany’s place.

When the pizza’s been ordered and delivered, you and the boys sit on the couch and watch The Muppets. You’re not paying much attention to the show, but Ryan’s question takes you by surprise.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

You almost choke on the piece of cheese that just slid down your throat. A glance at the television screen shows Miss Piggy and Kermit on a romantic date, which makes you realize Ryan’s train of thought.

“Oh, no, I don’t,” you tell him.

“Mom wants you to,” Luke says, eyes never leaving the screen. Your head turns so quickly that you hear your neck crack.

“What?” you ask.

“We heard Mom and Dad talking,” Ryan says in between bites. “Mom said you should have our Uncle Dustin as your boyfriend.”

“O-Oh?” You shift in your seat, the room suddenly feeling hot. Part of you knows you’ll regret it, but you need to know. “What did Daddy say?”

“He said no,” Luke says matter-of-factly.

The way your heart soars is ridiculous, and you know that, but you can’t help it.

“Did they say anything else?” you ask, voice cracking.

“Daddy told Mom that she shouldn’t start you up with anyone,” Ryan says. Your brow furrows in confusion as you think for a minute.

“You mean ‘set me up?’” you ask.

Ryan shrugs and takes another bite of his pizza.

“Then Mom yelled at us to go back to our rooms,” Luke says.

Your head is spinning but you can’t exactly grill the children or ask them what they think this means. All you can do is pretend to watch The Muppets and finish your pizza as your thoughts circle around your mind.

The boys take their baths with no problem and Luke only asks for one extra bedtime story, which is good for him. Once you’ve checked that they’re both asleep, you pad down the hallway towards the living room. It’s chilly in the house and you rub your hands over your bare arms. An idea strikes you and your head swivels in the direction of the master bedroom. They wouldn’t be home for hours, so what’s the harm of wearing one of Eddie’s hoodies? You slip into the room and aren’t surprised to find it messy. You could count the number of times you’ve been in here on one hand and it was usually trying to find something with the boys.

With them asleep and you having the time, you let your nosey nature take hold of you and look around the room. There’s a television tucked into one corner, balanced precariously on a small end table. The comforter on the bed is a pea green color that you hardly think Eddie would've picked out. Photo frames dot the white walls, most filled with smiling pictures of Ryan and Luke from infancy to the present day. There are only a few photos that have both Eddie and Brittany in them, and hardly any of just the two of them alone. The one exception is their wedding photo hanging on the wall opposite the bed. You smile at younger Eddie looking at the camera. He looks so handsome in his black tux, bowtie looking so foreign around his throat. Brittany looks stunning in her gown and if you didn’t know her, you’d think they make a cute couple. But you sneer at the bride looking at you from the other side of the glass and turn away from the picture.

A black hoodie rests on top of a pile of clothes next to the bed and you swipe it up. Slipping it over your head, you smile at the warmth and scent of Eddie that fills you. You make your way back to the living room and wrap your arms around yourself as you walk. Grabbing the remote from where it sits on the coffee table, you settle in on the couch. There’s nothing good on as you flip through the channels, so you decide to get up and pop The Princess Bride into the VHS player.

When it’s a little more than halfway through, you hear keys jingling at the front door and you sit up, watching as the doorknob turns. Eddie walks in, alone, and tosses his keys down on the small hall table near the door. You watch him with a frown on your face as he strips off his coat and hangs it up on the coat rack with a sigh. There’s a dejected look on his face as he kicks his shoes off. He turns to you and gives you a sad smile before coming to sit down next to you.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Brittany?” you ask.

“According to her?” Eddie asks with a disbelieving laugh. “Her sister’s. Probably one of her boyfriends’ places though.”

“One of?” Your eyebrows shoot up and Eddie shrugs.

“I’ve lost count,” he admits. It was never said out loud between you and Eddie, but you both knew the other knew that Brittany was having an affair. Or affairs, apparently. Eddie fishes the small velvet box containing the diamond necklace out of his pants pocket and tosses it on the coffee table. “She, uh, got mad when I gave her the necklace.”

“Mad?” you ask. “Why the hell would she get mad?”

Eddie rubs a hand over his face and shakes his head. He looks so exhausted; it makes your heart ache for him.

“Apparently the diamond is too small for being married for nine years.”

“What the fuck?”

It just slips out of your mouth, but it makes Eddie laugh.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a sigh. “What the fuck?”

“That’s really shitty,” you tell him. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie shrugs and you notice he doesn’t look all that sad. Or surprised.

“How were the kids?” Eddie asks.

“Angels as always,” you tell him. “They’re good kids.”

“They are,” Eddie says with a fond smile on his face.

“Because of you.” You nudge your shoulder against his and he smiles wider.

“Thanks – hey. Is that my hoodie?”

“Oh,” you say, looking down at it. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I was cold. Do you want it back?”

“No, no.” Eddie waves you off. “It looks good on you.”

Your face heats up at his words and he seems to notice. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he nudges your shoulder with his own in return. You lick over your lips and don’t give yourself time to contemplate your next words.

“Anything I can do to make you feel better?”

He turns his head to look at you, eyes roaming over your face, trying to see the meaning behind your words. Heart hammering against your ribs, you decide to bite your lower lip; you can either play it as an attempt at sexy or an innocent gesture, depending on Eddie’s response.

“I always feel better when you’re around.” He speaks softly and it only adds to the intimacy of his words.

Unable to help the smile that comes to your face, you look down at your lap before looking back at Eddie from underneath your eyelashes. He’s watching you, lips parted, eyes darkening. Heat pools down to your core at the look. You situate yourself so you’re facing him on the couch, one elbow perched on the back of it, arm propping your head up.

“Can I ask you something personal?” you ask quietly. “It’s fine if you don’t want to, though.”

“You can ask me anything.”

His words send your stomach flip flopping, and you unconsciously lean in towards him.

“If you know she’s cheating on you, why are you still with her?”

Eddie sighs and looks down to his lap. A sad smile is on his face when he looks back up to you. “She’s pretty awful, isn’t she?” He winces as he says it, like it’s the first time he’s admitted it to anyone besides himself. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place though because she’s still his wife and you don’t want to say anything bad about her. Even if it is all true. When you stay quiet, Eddie shrugs his shoulders and starts to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t know. Guess I’m afraid.”

“Of what?” you ask, voice laced in concern.

He leans his head back until it’s resting on the back of the couch, and he runs his hands over his face.

“Oh, God,” he says. He drops his hands back to his lap and tilts his head to look at you. “I guess there’s this voice inside that keeps saying ‘who else would want me?’”

“That’s not true,” you say without hesitation. You lean forward and bring your hand up to rest on his shoulder. “Don’t say that. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

“Yeah?” The self-deprecating smile he’s giving you fills you with ire. How dare this woman make Eddie feel like he’s unlovable. That he’s unwanted. You’ve known from the moment you met him that Eddie was special, and this bitch has had him over ten years and is still too blind to see it.

“Eddie,” you say as you give his shoulder a squeeze. “You’re really fucking awesome.”

He chuckles at that, and the way his eyes crinkle in the corners has your heart beating like a hummingbird’s wings.

“You’re pretty fucking awesome, too,” he says.

“You clean up nice, too,” you tell him as you reach for the buttons on his shirt. The two top ones aren’t fastened, so you let your fingers linger on the third, right where a sparse patch of chest hair starts to peek out. It feels like a game of chicken. Both of you wanting to toe over that line between friendly and too intimate for friends, but neither sure how to make that final push.

“While you look hot in an old sweatshirt,” Eddie says. That was definitely a step over that line, you decide. Face turning pink, you move forward and lift one leg over Eddie’s lap until you’re straddling him. His hands immediately rest on your hips, and you give him a shy smile as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“This okay?” you ask.

“Very,” Eddie says and pulls you forward by your hips until your chest is up against his. “Shit, I shouldn’t want this.” His beautiful brown eyes are searching your face, taking in every little feature that he finds adorable, that makes you you. “But I have wanted it. For so long.” Your mind is having trouble comprehending that he’s wanted you. Smoke is probably coming out of your ears because he’s short circuited your brain. Realizing you’re just staring at him dumbly, your face flushes.

“Me too,” you admit. Even through the material of all the layers between you, you can feel the hardness your core is resting up against. Giving an experimental rock of your hips over it, you let out a whine. Eddie shudders and his eyes fall closed. How long has it been since Brittany’s made him feel good? Slept with him? Touched him? Even looked at him in a way that would please him? How she’s not constantly on her knees for her husband is incomprehensible to you.

You trail your hands from his neck to his shoulders, slowly moving them to rest on his chest. Under your right hand his heart is beating so fast and the thought that you’re the one doing this to him feels wild. You lean and press a soft kiss to his cheek. From there, you move up to whisper in his ear.

“I want to make you feel good.”

Eddie shivers from your words and a soft moan leaves his lips. You trail soft kisses down his jaw, taking your time – it’s agonizingly slow in Eddie’s opinion. Stopping when you’re just shy of his mouth, you pull back and nuzzle the tip of your nose against his. It’s all Eddie needs before he’s cupping your jaw in his large hand and bringing your mouth down against his. The moment your lips touch his, everything feels right. His fingers dig into your hips hard enough to leave five little bruises behind. The kiss starts slow and sweet, but quickly becomes a mess of tongues and breathing into one another’s mouths as you try to taste every part of each other. You slide your hands up to cup Eddie’s neck as he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. It causes you to whine and roll your hips down against Eddie’s.

“Shhh,” Eddie says as he pulls back from your lips. His eyes are blown, his mouth is kissed bruised, breaths are shallow, and you think he’s never looked more beautiful. “Don’t want to wake the boys.”

You nod and rest your forehead against his, trying to catch your breath.

“Y-Your room?” you ask shyly.

“Really?” Eddie asks, seeming surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Eddie,” you say with a laugh. “You think I would’ve climbed on your lap and shoved my tongue down your throat if I didn’t want to?”

That’s all the answer he needs. He stands with you still in his lap, and you let out a muffled squeal as you hide your face in his neck and wrap your legs around his waist. Eddie blindly reaches down and grabs the remote from the coffee table.

“Princess Bride, huh?” Eddie asks and you can hear the teasing in his tone.

“It’s a great movie,” you say. “Now are you going to take me to your room?”

The television clicks off and the remote lands on the couch with a thud.

“As you wish.”

You almost melt on the spot with those words. He carries you down the hall, your lips attached to his neck the entire time. Your tongue glides over a particularly sensitive spot and a moan slips free of Eddie’s mouth as he steps in his room. Kicking the door shut behind him, Eddie takes you over to the bed and lays you down on it. Quickly locking the bedroom door, he’s about to crawl on top of you when you slip out from under him and kneel at his feet on the floor.

“Please?” you ask, bringing your hand up to rub over his clothed erection. “Can I please suck you off?”

“Fuck,” Eddie mumbles as his hands fly to his belt. As he works with that buckle, you pop the button open on his pants and pull down the zipper. You help him shove his pants and boxers down until they’re pooled around his ankles, and you let him use you for balance so he can step out of them entirely. Even semi hard his length is ridiculously impressive. Definitely bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, and you feel yourself getting wetter just from imagining how he’s going to stretch you open.

“Such a pretty cock.” You don’t even realize you’ve said the words until you see his dick twitch and a whimper comes from above you. Spitting into your hand, you reach forward and wrap your hand around the base and jerk him a few times. When you look up at him you see that his eyes have drifted closed and he’s biting his bottom lip. A bead of precum forms on his slit and you lean forward to lick it off.

“Shit,” Eddie swears quietly. After a few more kitten licks to the tip, you engulf the whole head in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive ridge of his tip. You bob your head a few times, taking him further and further each time you come back. When you have as much of him as you can possibly handle, you keep jerking the rest with your hand and hollow out your cheeks.

Eddie’s moans are so beautiful that you’re pretty sure you could cum just listening to him. You have to squeeze your thighs together to give yourself some relief as you keep your head moving at a steady pace. Making it your personal mission to get him to hit the back of your throat, you dig your fingers into Eddie’s thighs and pull them in towards you. It works, and Eddie’s chanting your name like a prayer as you gag, tears streaming down your face. You pull off with a pop before dipping down and running your tongue over his balls.

“You’re going to kill me,” Eddie says with a breathy laugh. His cock, covered in your spit, keeps bumping against your face as you mouth at his sack. When your nose bumps into his shaft, you pull off of his balls and run your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock. You swirl your tongue around the tip a few more times before you let him fall from your mouth.

“I want you to cum in my mouth. But I want you to cum inside me even more.”

Eddie’s entire chest is flushed, and you grin in satisfaction. He looks too blissed out to speak so you start at his knee and press sweet kisses up his leg. When you get to his hip, you pull back to inspect the artwork there. The tattoo is right in the dip of his hip, below the V that leads to his dick. It’s a crescent moon made from what looks like thorns and twigs. One of the twigs is hanging longer than the rest so that it almost looks like the moon is a sickle and the long branch it’s handle. You press a few soft kisses against the inked skin before slowly running your tongue over it.

“Any other surprise tattoos I’m going to find?” you ask with a smirk as you stand up.

“Only one way to find out.” Eddie grins and pulls you against his body to attach his lips to yours. His grip on you is firm, but never too tight. Like you’re delicate, not fragile.

Eddie backs you up until the back of your knees hit the bed and you only break the kiss to crawl up towards the pillows. Eddie undoes the button on your jeans, and you lift your hips to help him slide them off. He tosses them to the floor and picks up your ankle in one hand. The open mouth kisses he starts pressing against the skin of your ankle and up your calf has you trembling under his touch. His kisses continue up until he’s kissing the inside of your thigh. When he gives the gentlest of bites to the meat of your leg, he runs his tongue over it to soothe the skin. His nose nudges the edge of your panties, and he looks up at you with his impossibly alluring eyes.

“Wanna taste you so bad, baby. Can I?”

Your hips buck at his words and you’re nodding your head, unable to speak.

He hooks his fingers on the elastic of your purple cotton panties and slides them down your legs until they’ve joined your jeans on the floor. Before leaning back down between your legs, Eddie undoes the buttons on his shirt and slips it off his shoulders. Standing completely bare in front of you, you’re not sure which is throbbing harder, your heart or your pussy.

You go to reach for the hem of the hoodie that you’re wearing, but Eddie stops you.

“Wanna lick your pussy while you’re wearing my clothes.”

You’re forced to throw a hand over your mouth to stifle the whine that leaves your lips. How you’re going to survive this without making any noise, you have no idea.

Eddie situates himself between your legs and a shyness suddenly comes over you and your legs start to close.

“Nuh uh,” Eddie tuts. “Come on, let me see you.”

Face burning, you open your legs back up and are rewarded with the hottest groan you’ve ever heard. “Fuck, baby.” Using his large hands, he spreads your legs a little wider to give him a better view. You whimper as he stares at your sex, feeling vulnerable in a way you’ve never felt before.

“God, you have such a pretty pussy, baby.” He slides a finger through your folds and you’re already so wet that it makes a schlick sound as he collects your arousal with his hand. “So, so wet. This all for me, baby?”

“You,” you pant out. “All for you. Only for you.”

His thumb finds your clit and your back arches off the bed, hips cantering as you try to hold back a moan.

“Shit baby, I can’t wait to hear those pretty noises you make.”

He can’t wait? Does this mean he wants to do this again? Somewhere where you’re the only two there so you can be as loud as you want? A particularly tight circle over your clit yanks you out of your head and back into your body that’s experiencing nirvana. His head dips down and he runs his tongue flat from your hole up to your sensitive little button. He does it again and his nose catches your clit on the way up, making goosebumps erupt on your skin.

Eddie’s tongue is long. You’ve noticed it many, many times over the year, and you often wondered just how talented that large muscle was. Now that you’re finding out, you know that no other tongue could ever compete. His tongue goes from flicking over your bundle of nerves to teasing your hole.

“You taste even better than I imagined,” Eddie says into the crook of your thigh. His words go straight down between your legs. “Fuck, watching your hole flutter is about the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“It wants you so bad,” you whine.

Eddie answers your prayer and slips a thick finger inside of you. It’s not nearly enough but you’re too busy focusing on the fact that part of Eddie is inside you. It’s something you’ve thought about almost every night for a year now.

A second finger slips in beside the first one and you bite your lip as his fingers explore. He crooks his fingers up and you’re seeing stars as he presses into that magical spongy spot inside of you.

“Close,” you whine out. “N-Need your mouth.”

“Anything for you, princess.”

If the nickname wasn't enough to have you teetering on the edge, his tongue flicking and sucking your clit as his fingers pump in and out of you, hitting that perfect spot every time was doing the trick.

“Shit, Eddie,” you say as quietly as you can. “I’m – fuck – I’m coming.”

“Come on, baby,” Eddie encourages. “Cum on my tongue.”

Once Eddie feels your walls spasming against his fingers, he quickly replaces them with his tongue so he can lick you through your orgasm. You throw your head to the side, muffling your moans into a pillow next to you. They’re still loud but stifled enough.

Eddie crawls up your body, the lower half of his face covered in your slick.

“You taste so fucking perfect, baby,” Eddie says. “Pretty sure I’m addicted now.”

“I’ll give you your fix for as long as you want it,” you say.

His grin is feral as he leans down and captures your lips with his. Eddie licks into your mouth and you moan into him as you taste yourself. Breaking away for air, he smirks when he sees he’s smeared your slick on your own face. He reaches down and wipes it away with his thumb, the act so soft compared to the tantalizing kiss.

“Can I take this off now?” you ask, squirming in the hoodie. “I’m hot.”

“Hell yes you are,” Eddie says, hands slipping under the sweatshirt and helping you take it off. Your t-shirt is next, getting tossed somewhere behind Eddie. Left only in your black silky bra, Eddie cups your breast in his hand, making you arch your back up into his touch. Taking advantage of your body coming up off the bed, he reaches around and unhooks your bra, letting the straps fall down your arms. A whine escapes you as his thumb flicks over your nipple. You slip the bra fully off and tangle your fingers in Eddie’s hair as his mouth attaches to the nipple on your other breast, tongue swirling over the hardened bud.

Eddie’s hips rock against yours, his hard cock rubbing against your folds for friction, catching against your clit with every other thrust. He pulls off your nipple with a pop and trails his hot tongue over your collarbone and up your neck. A shiver runs down your spine as Eddie blows against the wet stripe on your neck, the contrast in temperatures making you tighten your hold in his hair. When you give a little tug, a soft moan slips from Eddie’s lips.

Hands trail down your sides as Eddie attaches his mouth to the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder. You’re sure there’s going to be a mark there tomorrow and the thought fills you with pride. You’ll gladly show off your marked body from Eddie, looking in the mirror every time you need a reminder that this night happened.

“Need you inside me, Eddie,” you whisper.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Eddie says against your neck. He reluctantly pulls his mouth from your skin to lean over to his nightstand. You grab his wrist before he can open the drawer though.

“No,” you say. “Want to feel you. All of you.”

Eddie looks down at you, hand coming to cup your face.

“You sure, sweetheart?”

“M’on the pill,” you say as you nod your head. “Please, Eddie.”

There was nothing Eddie wouldn’t give you, especially when you asked so politely.

Not sure if this would ever happen again, you wanted to make sure you got the full experience.

Eddie reaches down and grabs his cock, gathering your slickness as he rubs in between your folds. Your hips are rocking and you’re letting out small breathy whines, driving Eddie absolutely crazy. A gasp escapes your lips as the head of Eddie’s cock presses against your entrance. He swallows the sounds with his mouth, bracing himself on one forearm as he pushes into you.

Your fingers grip Eddie’s shoulders, nails digging into the soft, warm skin.

“Shit,” Eddie mumbles against your mouth, letting your delicious wet warmth pull him in. “You’re so fucking tight.”

“S-So big, Eddie,” you whimper against his cheek. You’re not just blowing smoke either; the thick head of Eddie's cock stretching you in the most pleasurable way you’ve ever experienced. You keep thinking there can’t possibly be more for him to give you, but he just keeps filling you. When he finally bottoms out, you feel like you could burst from how full you feel.

Eddie presses his forehead against yours as he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. All your whimpering and whining has him twitching inside of you, reveling in the grip of your cunt.

“Please…please move.” You’re already looking up at him with such a fucked out expression that Eddie isn’t sure he’s going to last long. The only pleasure he’s gotten has been from his own hand for months now, so going from that to your perfect pussy has him feeling like he’s a teenager again. Granted, most of the time he had himself gripped in his fist he was thinking about you, but the real thing is much, much better.

He pulls his hips back and you moan into Eddie’s shoulder as you feel every little drag of his cock against your walls. You’d never been with anyone like this before; there’s always been a condom before. But this was Eddie and everything you’ve ever wanted.

Once he’s pulled almost all the way out, Eddie slides back in, hips starting a steady pace. He drops his head down into your neck and groans, the sound making you clench around him. You wrap your legs around Eddie’s hips, clinging to him in every way possible. Every inch of your skin is pressed up against Eddie’s, unable to tell whose sweat is whose.

“You feel perfect,” Eddie murmurs against your neck. “Such a perfect little pussy.”

When the head of his cock hits just the right spot, you gasp and dig your fingers in even harder to his shoulders. Your eyes are rolling back in your head as Eddie keeps the same angle, hitting that spot over and over again.

“Fuck, Eddie. Making me feel so good.”

He pulls back to look at your face and your fucked out expression has his hips picking up their pace. Sweat shining on your skin and pieces of hair sticking to your face, Eddie thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful.

“Feels good?” Eddie asks, to which you nod dumbly. He smirks and his hips start to fuck into you faster. “Such a good girl, for me. Pussy taking me so well.”

Looking at him through heavily lidded eyes, your mouth hangs open as he fucks all the thoughts from your head.

“Wanna be your g-good girl,” you manage to get out.

“Oh, you are,” Eddie says. “My sweet, perfect girl.” He leans down and attaches his lips to your jaw.

Eddie calling you his girl has you forgetting you’re supposed to be quiet, and a breathy moan escapes you.

“Shhh, baby,” Eddie says. “The boys are sleeping.” You nod and a smirk comes to his face. “You want me to fill you up, sweetheart? Get you all nice and knocked up?”

The way your face crumbles in pleasure has Eddie realizing he’s found another sweet spot of yours.

“Aw, you want my babies, princess? Want me to fuck you full of my cum? Shit baby, you’d look so gorgeous: round stomach, tits full.”

“C-Close, Eddie,” you whisper, voice giving out on you.

Eddie dips his two fingers into your open mouth, and you instinctively swirl your tongue around them. The sensation has Eddie closer to his peak as well. He pulls his fingers from your mouth and reaches down to rub at your swollen clit.

Eddie leans in to devour your pulse point, licking and sucking and your forehead drops forward to rest on his shoulder. When you pick your head up, your eyes land on the wedding photo on the opposite wall. Eddie starts to rub your clit faster and you feel the tension in your muscles reaching its height. You let go of Eddie’s shoulder with one hand and raise it up to stick your middle finger up at the bitch watching you from the picture frame. A smug smile comes to your lips as you relax back against the pillow, Eddie’s mouth still moving against your neck. She might have a ring on her finger, but her husband is currently fucking you on their marriage bed on their anniversary.

“Eddie,” you moan, and hearing his name fall from your lips has his hips stuttering.

“M’close too, baby,” Eddie says. “Cum with me.”

“Uh huh,” you breathe out and Eddie leans in to take your lips with his. His hand increases pressure on your clit and the dam breaks, your orgasm crashing over you like being drowned by a tidal wave. Sparks dot your vision and your pussy clenches around Eddie, sending him over the edge right alongside you. Your cunt milks his cum from him, making sure to get every last drop.

Eddie’s dizzy as his high comes to an end and he drops down next to you, immediately burying his face in your hair, nose nuzzling against your ear as he attempts to catch his breath.

“Wow,” you breathe out, making Eddie chuckle.

“Yeah,” he says, pressing a kiss right below your ear. “Wow.”

You’re staring up at the ceiling and Eddie is staring at you. When you close your eyes, Eddie smiles at the way your eyelashes brush against your skin, how your cheeks are rosy from the exertion. You blink your eyes open and turn your head to the side to look at Eddie.

“Hi,” Eddie says, a dopey smile on his lips. It makes you giggle.

“Hi.”

He reaches over and slides his hand along your jaw, pulling you in for a soft kiss.

“Look,” Eddie says as he pulls away from your lips. “What I said about h-having my babies, I…”

“It was hot,” you say with a smile, cutting him off. “I liked it.” The blush on your face gives away just how much you enjoyed it. And I actually want it, you think, but would never say.

You turn on your side to face him and Eddie scoots closer until his nose is right up against yours.

“I should feel guilty,” Eddie says after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “But I don’t. I felt guiltier about wanting you all this time than I do about having sex with you.”

“You’ve wanted me all this time?” It feels like the smile is never going to leave your face.

“How could I not?” Eddie asks. “You’re pretty fucking amazing.”

A blush blooms on your face and Eddie reaches over to pull you into his arms. Taking full advantage of the opportunity, you wrap your arm around his waist and nuzzle your face into his neck.

“You’re pretty amazing, too,” you tell him. “That’s why I’ve wanted you all this time.”

“Did you mean what you said before?” Eddie asks in a quiet voice. “About any woman being lucky to have me?”

You frown and pull away to look Eddie in the eye.

“Yes, Eddie. You deserve so much better than her. Shit, if I were your wife, I’d be waiting to jump on you every time you walked through the door.”

Dread pools in your stomach as you realize what you’ve just said. Eddie only smirks at your blush though, tucking you back into his side.

“I love how you make me feel,” he says softly.

“Daddy?”

The doorknob twists back and forth and you thank God that Eddie had the foresight to lock the door. You – reluctantly – slip out of Eddie’s arms and crawl around on the floor, gathering your items of clothing.

“Where are my jeans?” you whisper to Eddie as he slides a pair of sweatpants up his hips. He shrugs but tosses you the hoodie that he’d stripped from your body before. You hide on the floor on the other side of the bed, trying to slip back into your underwear as Eddie opens the door, stepping into the hallway to talk to his son out there.

“What’s up, Luke?”

“Where’s Mom?”

“Uh, she’s at Aunt Sandy’s.”

You hear Luke ask where you are as you slip on the rest of your clothes, sans the jeans. There’s a pair of Eddie’s pajama pants on the floor that you grab and slide into.

“Oh, I think she’s in the bathroom,” Eddie says to Luke. “What’re you doing up, buddy?”

“Bad dream,” he says, and you don’t need to see him to know he’s pouting.

“Wanna go watch some tv?”

Their footsteps disappear down the hall and you stand up from the other side of the bed. Your eyes are searching the room for your jeans when Ryan steps into the room, rubbing his eyes.

“Whas going on?” he asks with his sleepy voice.

“Oh, hey, Ry,” you say, forcing a smile to your face. “I think Luke just had a bad dream. That’s all.”

He holds his hand out to you and you’re forced to leave the mystery of your jeans behind as you go over to hold his little hand in yours. He tugs you into the living room where Eddie is sitting with Luke on the couch. Ducktales is playing on the television in the dark room, the flickering lights casting shadows on Eddie’s bare chest as he sits with his son. Luke is curled up on a pillow between Eddie and the arm of the couch, already halfway back to sleep.

You sit down next to Eddie and Ryan sits on your other side. He lays his head in your lap and you card your fingers through his soft curls. Eddie tilts his head to give you a smile and you feel a strange sort of warmth spread through your tummy. The four of you tucked onto the same couch makes you want to cry, and you’re not sure if it’s from longing or happiness that it’s currently happening.

After a few minutes, the soft snores of both boys can be heard over the low tv, and Eddie presses a kiss to your shoulder. He leans forward and swipes something off the coffee table before you can see what it is. In the light of the television, you see Eddie open the black velvet box that holds the diamond necklace intended for Brittany. His careful fingers remove it from the box, and he tosses that back onto the table. He unhooks the small silver clasp and looks up at you. When you don’t move, he raises his eyebrows at you.

“Gonna leave forward so I can put it on you?”

“What?” you ask, eyes going wide.

“I want you to have this. If you do, that is,” Eddie says. “To be completely honest, I was thinking of you when I bought this.”

At your shocked expression, a bashful look creeps onto Eddie’s face.

“The sales lady asked what I was looking to buy for my favorite girl.”

“That’s…me?” you ask in a breathy voice.

“Who else would it be?”

His smile is so genuine that you can’t help but lean forward and press your lips against his. Eddie hesitates at first, but at the snores coming from either side of you, he kisses you back. When you pull away, you lean forward, and Eddie drapes the silver chain around your neck. Once it’s secure, you lean back and look down at where the heart rests over Eddie’s black sweatshirt.

“It’s perfect.”

“It’s yours.”

The look in his eyes as he says it leads you to think he’s talking about more than just the necklace. Your eyes get misty, and you rest your forehead against his.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“I should be thanking you,” Eddie answers just as quietly. He lets his head fall down to your shoulder and you press a kiss into his curls. You turn your attention back to the ducks on the screen, and before you know it, Eddie’s soft snores have joined those of the two boys.

About an hour after Eddie falls asleep, you hear a key clanging in the front lock. The door opens and Brittany steps in, quietly taking her jacket and heels off. It’s clear she doesn’t know anyone is still up. She turns towards the living room and her eyes widen as she takes in the image of you on the couch, Eddie’s head on your shoulder, and both boys sleeping on the two of you. You let your eyes rake over her, taking in the smeared makeup, disheveled dress, and bra hanging out of her purse. All you can do is chuckle to yourself when she shoots you an icy glare. Let her prove you did something wrong.

You watch as her eyes take in you wearing Eddie’s pajama pants, his hoodie, and they widen most comically of all when they land on the necklace hanging around your neck. Her nostrils flair and she stomps down the hallway. You can hear her tossing stuff around the master bedroom and when she lets out a mix between a huff and a groan, you know she’s found your jeans.

#Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #babysitter!reader #older!eddie #AYW #AYWS

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gurugirl · 3 months

Text

coming soon to tumblr | handyman!harry

821 word teaser - 10k+ one shot already posted on Patreon.

One shot summary: When you inherit your aunt's estate after she passes away, you hire Harry to fix up the old house but that's not all he winds up being good for. Based on this request.

. . .

Everything flowed so nicely with Harry. He was easy to talk to and you trusted that he knew what he was doing. And it didn’t hurt that his voice was soothing and deep and slow. You could listen to him talk about solid hardwood versus engineered hardwood all day long if he let you.

“Well, I’ll be heading out now I guess. Be back first thing in the morning and start on this porch.”

You walked him to his big truck and shook his hand again, thanking him for taking the job and feeling a bit overwhelmed and emotional at everything.

Overwhelmed because Harry was so genuinely kind and you knew immediately you could trust him completely. Which just added to his charm and sex appeal. You really tried to push down the fact that he was so stunningly attractive because that wasn’t going to do you any good. And even though Mr. George told you he was single, you couldn’t imagine that was true. Someone as yummy-looking and kind-hearted as Harry? There was no way he wasn’t at least seeing someone.

But you were also emotional because you were finally going to get to see your aunt Gayla’s house restored to its original glory. It was going to be a real labor of love but it felt so good to be doing it. You had never felt so sure you were on the right path in life until that day. Until Harry arrived with his big truck and assured you that you’d get everything you wanted and that it would end up being even better than before.

And for the first time since you moved into that old house, you sat down and began to write. You’d gotten nearly ten thousand words written and were awake well into the wee hours of the morning typing away with the sudden inspiration you’d gotten. You fell asleep with your laptop next to you when you couldn’t hold your eyes open any longer.

You were woken to the sound of pounding and clanking and creaking which had you startled as you sat up in your bed and looked around your bedroom. The sun filled the space with light and you picked up your cellphone to note the time and saw a missed call from Harry.

Wrapping your robe around yourself you ran down the stairs all frazzled and rushed and burst onto the front porch, tripping over a stack of fresh boards and landing on your knees and palms like an idiot.

“Hey… hey…” you heard Harry’s deep voice from behind you as he slid his hands under your arms to help you up, “You okay?”

“Oh my god…” you croaked out the first words of the day from your throat, “I just woke up and realized you were here and… Sorry!”

He turned you to face him and looked down over your knees and lifted your palms upward to inspect, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Took quite the spill there. Sorry, I shouldn’t have stacked those boards right there.”

You felt your heart calm as he led you into your kitchen. He was so gentle with you, which for some reason you hadn’t expected. You knew he was kind but this seemed very much outside of the scope of his job description, “No, it’s fine! It’s me. I’d probably trip over the boards no matter where you had them stacked. I’m a bit of a nervous nelly. And when I woke up I just… I was startled. Fell asleep late and didn’t set an alarm…”

Harry grinned at you as you ran your faucet and put your hands under it, “It’s fine. No need to rush or get all riled up. I got here a bit early and when you didn’t answer I just figured I’d start on the porch. Think I’ll replace your doorbell as well. It’s not working either.”

You dried your hands and smiled at Harry, “I’ll get you a key before you leave today. In case I’m not here or I’m sleeping again. Sorry… I just had this burst of inspiration last night and typed until I passed out. It’s…”

“You’re fine,” you watched his eyes drop down to your torso and then bounce back up quickly to your face.

When you looked down at yourself you realized your robe was twisted and while all your bits were covered, they were barely covered.

“Jesus fucking Christ… I’m sorry, Harry. I’m a mess…” you pulled the material into place and adjusted the robe.

Harry put his hands at the tops of your arms, “Hey… you’re fine. Take a breath. It’s a beautiful morning and the birds are singing, and just look at this view…” he motioned toward your window where you could see trees and lush green grass stretch along the front of the house, “Now… Do you have some alcohol to clean up the cuts on your knees?”

. . .

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ihave-atummyache · 6 months

Text

thighs

Stray Kids Imagine

summary: we all love a good set of thighs, let’s be honest here.

18+!! nsfw!! (smut/suggestive)

-OT8

10k words (guess who got carried away again…. especially with felix’s)

Bang Chan:

"Hey, cutie. Can I buy you a drink?"

You can't stop the smile that forms on your face when you hear your boyfriend's voice. You turn and lock eyes with his pretty chocolate ones.

"Sorry, sir. I have a boyfriend," you smile before turning back to face the other way, letting your elbow rest in the bar.

"What a lucky guy. I would kill to be in his shoes," Chan walks around your body and places his hands on your knees, turning you so your back is to the bar.

"I think I'm the lucky one," your smile grows as you sit your drink down on the bar and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He leans down and presses a quick kiss to your nose before standing back up and looking over your shoulder. Chan orders himself a drink and another one of your drinks before making eye contact with you again.

"You look so pretty. I love this dress," He comments, his eyes darting down and stopping on your cleavage then continuing until he can focus on your exposed thighs. He lets out a low hum, barely audible over the music, and his hands begin to gently knead at your thighs, just above your knee.

"Mhm. You love the dress or do you love what the dress is showing?" You tease and a small smirk forms on his lips.

"Am I allowed to say both?" He asks but before you can respond, his hands creep up a little further and he takes a step forward. You instinctively let your legs open and he settles between them.

"Here you go sir. Open or closed tab?" you turn to face the bartender. Your boyfriend glances down at you quickly then looks back up at the bartender again.

"Close it. I don't think we'll be here long," Chan replies and you reach into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing it to him. A habit that you developed a while ago and still gives Chan butterflies to this day. Chan grabs his card from his wallet and hands it to the bartender before letting his hands find your thighs again, a little higher than they just were, now resting on the hem of your short dress.

"Mm. Don't go reaching into my pockets when I'm hard, princess," his words cause you to choke on your drink slightly, letting out a small cough and looking up at your boyfriend but he is completely focused on the bartender like he didn't just let such a vulgar sentence leave his lips.

You let your fingers find their way into his belt loops and pull him closer to you, making his hand creep under your dress and sit on your upper thighs. He was only a few inches away from where you needed him most and his eyes dart to yours again before he removes both hands from you and leans over to sign his tab and get his card.

He cages you against the bar while he signs, an arm on either side of you which exposes his bare neck and collarbones to you. You can't help yourself and lean forward, pressing a kiss to the exposed skin. You can't hear him chuckle but you can feel the low vibration in his chest. When he leans back, you can see the faint marks of your lipstick left on his smooth skin.

His hands return under your dress, even closer to your dripping core but still not quite touching you were you want.

"Finish you drink, my love. Looks like we need to leave since you don't know how to behave," he scolds you and you lean back, resting your elbows on the bar behind you. You drink in one hand and the other one playing with your straw.

"You started it, Chris," you tease. He lets out another chuckle and raises his eyebrows at you.

"Oh? And how did I do that? By touching your knees?" He prompts you and you open your mouth to say yes but realize how embarrassing it is when he put it like that. A blush quickly makes its way up your neck and your face. Had your boyfriend gripping your knees really got you this hot and bothered?

Yes.

"Or was it when I was touching your pretty thighs?" You inquires and you chew on your lip. Honestly, it started with the knee touch and just got worse from there. It isn't your fault that your boyfriend is so irresistible!

"Well when you put it like that..." You trail off and let your eyes focus on the mark left on his collarbone. He leans towards you to force you to make eye contact with him. His hands creep even further and his thumb presses against your clothed clit. A sharp inhale on your lips at the contact.

"It's okay. I've been hard since I saw you in this dress before we left the house," he confesses and leans forward, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

"So wet for me. All these people around us and your body is still begging me to fuck you," he speaks lowly into your ear, his deep voice sending chills all over your body. His thumb circles your clit slowly and he press a kiss to your jawline.

Your hips try to buck against him but the grip that his other hand has on your thigh prevents you from moving too much. He is making it so that others don't know what you're doing but he also wants to remain in control.

"Channie," you mewl out and he groans at the nickname. His hand that isn't playing with your pussy leaves your thigh and tilts your drink up to your lips.

"Drink up. I think I know a better way to spend the rest of our night," he smirks and butterflies of anticipation erupt in your stomach.

Lee Know:

His thighs are so pretty. When he sits in those shorts on the couch next you and the fabric creeps up his legs, you have to control your breathing. The whole look on its own was enough to get you going. The backwards hat, the glasses, the tank top, and those damn shorts.

"You're pretty," you mumble out, a little blush creeping up your neck. Minho turns to face you and flashes you a smirk before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours quickly.

"You're prettier," he replies and sits back against the couch again, his legs opening a bit more which makes the shorts inch up ever so slightly again and you have to tear your eyes away from the flesh before you lose your self control.

"Come here. Why are you so far away?" Your boyfriend puts his arm across the back of the couch, inviting you into his side. You immediately scoot over, resting your arm on his leg. The tips of your fingers just barely touching the exposed skin. You let out a sigh, pressing your legs together, and dropping your head to his shoulder.

"You can touch them," he breaks the silence and you turn your head to look at him, a bit confused.

"My thighs. I see you looking. You don't have to ask. This body belongs to you more than it belongs to me," he confesses and you bite down on your lip before letting your hand move to rest on his exposed inner thigh. He lets out a shaky sigh at the contact.

"You really are so pretty," you admit again letting your hand slide up and down his thigh. You can't ignore the tent growing in his pants and stand, dropping in between his thighs on the couch in front of him instead.

You sit back on your knees and let your hands slide up higher on his thighs, making their way inside of his shorts and you squeeze the muscles gently, making a deep noise leave Minho's throat.

"Stop with the teasing," his voice is dripping with authority but you can't help but notice the slight shake in it, making you smirk. He's pretending he's the one in charge, but you both know he's putty in your hands right now.

"I'm not teasing," you lean forward and press a kiss on his inner thigh, just above his knee, "I'm admiring," you make eye contact with him before letting your tongue lick a stripe up his inner thigh. His head falls back and you use the opportunity to finally gently palm him through his pants, making a sharp hiss leave his mouth while he subconsciously bucks up into your hand slightly.

You wrap your hand around the waist band of his shorts and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull his shorts and underwear off in one smooth motion and exposing the entirety of his thighs to you, and his rock hard cock.

You pull back again to take in the sight in front of you. It was like something out of a fairytale. A flush Minho looking down at you while his hands grip tightly onto the cushion on either side of him. You rest your hands on his thighs again and rub them up the newly exposed skin.

Goosebumps spring up across his legs and and his thighs tense, making them look even better.

"Fuck. You're so pretty," you breathe out once more and Minho's patience is wearing quite thin at this point. His hand finds its way into your hair and he threads it into your locks, pulling you closer to his exposed cock.

"Can you blow me now, my sweet girl?" He asks and you let your tongue creep out, gently licking his throbbing head. His grip in your hair tightens, as does the grip on his thighs before you're swallowing him into your mouth.

"Fuck. That's right, baby. Just like that, y/n," the way your name rolls from his lips is like music to your ears and you swallow him into your throat more before pulling off of him with a pop and biting gently into his exposed thigh next to your hand.

He lets out what can only be described as a yelp and his eyes snap open to look down at you. You make eye contact, your eyes big and sweet and innocent like you didn't just surely leave a mark on him.

"That's it," his grip in your hair tightens and he stands, bringing you to your feet as well. He leans down into you and you think for a second he's going to kiss you but he instead kisses your jawline a few times before sitting back down, grabbing your shorts on the way down and exposing your bottom half.

He grabs the back of your thighs and pulls you forward, making you stumble until you're straddling one of his thighs.

"I hope you can make yourself cum," he grips your hips and pushes you down until your wet cunt is against his bare thigh. The friction alone is enough to make you let out a deep moan. He starts to guide your hips back and forth against his thigh, making pleasure shoot throughout your body before he moves his hands and folds them behind his head.

Your eyes snap open and you're met with the most smug look you have ever seen on his face.

"I said I hope you can make yourself cum. I know I can make you cum," he looks down at the trail of slick that you have left on his thigh then looks back up at you.

"Be a good girl and get yourself off on my leg," he commands.

Changbin-

You hear your boyfriend before you see him. The front door swings open and shut and then a long groan. Then silence. Which is quite unusual for your typically loud boyfriend. He usually announces his presence as soon as he crosses the threshold.

"Bin?" You call out, standing from the couch. You only receive another groan from him as you round the corner. He is leaning against the door, his shoes still on and all his bags in his hands. His eyes open when he notices your footsteps approaching him.

"I've never been this sore in my life. My legs feel like they might actually fall off," he gives you an explanation before you can even ask him what's wrong.

"Aww. Poor baby. I'll run you a bath. How does that sound?" You ask and walk over to him, letting your arms wrap around his neck.

"It sounds like it would make you my favorite person in the world," he replies, a small smile creeping onto his face.

"I thought I already was your favorite person in the world," you tease and lean forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. His hands wrap around your waist, not letting you walk away.

"Favorite person in the universe,"

"You have an alien that you like more than me? Is there something I should know about?" You joke again and a chuckle leaves his mouth. You tap his dimple gently with your index finger before pulling away and forcing his arms off of you.

"Okay. Take your clothes off and I'll go turn the bath on," You assure him and start to walk away.

"I love when you talk dirty to me," he jokes and you shake your head, letting a laugh leave your mouth as you reach the bathroom. You turn the water in the tub on and grab some epsom salt along with some lavender to add into the bath. You light a lavender candle to help him relax further and by the time it is all set up, your boyfriend has trudged his half naked body into the bathroom.

"I don't think you can bathe in those," you motion to his boxers hugging his thighs and he lets out a sigh, his lips falling into a pout.

"It hurts to bend over. Help me?" He asks, tone innocent and very sweet but you gulp nonetheless. Just seeing your boyfriend in a tank top sends your mind reeling. Seeing him naked and you’re the one getting him naked? Short circuiting.

"Of course, my love," your voice isn't much higher than a whisper and you take a step closer to him, hooking your fingers into the band of his boxers and guiding them down his legs. He steps out of them and you grip onto his thighs to pull yourself back up to standing.

You feel how tight his muscles are and he lets out a hiss at the pressure. His muscles are super tight and you can tell he isn't exaggerating about being sore. Between practice and him still making time for the gym, his body is wearing down.

"Binnie, you have got to let your body rest. You'll hurt yourself," you stand and make eye contact with him but he shyly looks away at your scolding. He can't even defend himself because he knows that you're right.

"Get in," You command and he quickly obeys. He steps into the bath and slowly sinks in. As soon as he settles into the tub, a long sigh leaves his lips.

"Temperature okay?" You question, leaning down and putting your hand in the water to test the temperature again.

"It's perfect. You're perfect. I love you," Changbin rambles out, obviously very appreciative of you. You smile and lean down, pressing a kiss into the top of his head.

"Mhm. I love you more. What do you want for dinner?" you start to inch towards the door and Changbin's eyes snap open.

"You aren't going to join me?" He asks and that pout is right back on his lips. He really knows how to get his way.

"I want you to be able to stretch out. I don't want to impede on your bath time," you smile and he immediately shakes his head at you.

"I think I would feel better much faster if you got in with me," he nods, as if he's agreeing with himself and you shake your head, letting out a chuckle.

"If you insist," you throw your arms up in defeat and walk towards the tub, pulling your top off.

"I do," he replies and watches as you undress. You step into the bath and settle between your boyfriend's legs with your back against his chest. It is a decent sized circle tub and you have enough room to sit comfortably.

Changbin's legs are bent on either side of you and you can't help resting your hands on his tense thighs. You start to gently rub up and down, just your fingertips running up and down the muscles. When you notice his muscles beginning to relax under your touch, you slowly apply more and more pressure until you are fully massaging his thighs.

You bite down on your lip at the sounds leaving your boyfriend's mouth. He is letting out deep groans at the magic of your fingers and you can feel his breath on the back of your neck which isn't helping with your oncoming arousal.

You realize it isn't just you feeling hot and bothered when he adjusts behind you and you very clearly feel his hard on pressing into your back.

"Are you hard?" you break the silence and he chuckles, letting his hand drop into the water and wrap around your stomach.

"Are you wet?" he rebuttals.

"We both are. We're in the bathtub," you knew what he meant and the answer is yes but you don't want to give him that satisfaction. He chuckles again, his breath moving the hair at the base of your neck.

"You know what I mean. And I can't help it. The way you're rubbing on me and having your bare skin pressed up against me..." he trails off, his hands rubbing across your stomach and ribs, gently grazing your chest.

"You're so obsessed with me," you tease and let one of your hands trail down his thigh. You move your body to lean to one side and grip onto his hard cock under the water. He lets out a breath of relief at the contact.

"I am. Who wouldn't be?" his voice is shaky and you start to stroke him slowly under the water. His hips try to buck up into your hand but the way you're leaning on him is almost pinning him down.

"Faster, baby," he commands and you shake your head, keeping the same steady pace.

"I'm just trying to help you relax, baby. Let me take my time," you insist. His hand finally leaves your stomach and he brings it to your chin, turning your head to face him and pushed his lips against yours.

The kiss is sloppy and needy. The angle is a bit awkward but it just adds to your arousal, knowing how bad he wants your lips. He groans into your mouth when you start to speed up, finally granting his wish. When his breathing starts to pick up and you feel him twitch in your hand, you stop.

"Why did you stop? I was so close," he complains, his lips brushing yours as he speaks.

"I don't want you making a mess in the bath water," you smirk and he groans, obviously annoyed with your antics. His hands grip on to your thighs and he hoists you up with ease, closing his legs and holding you only inches above his hard cock.

"Let me make a mess inside you instead," his voice rumbles into your ear and you let out a long moan as he slowly lowers you onto his cock.

Hyunjin-

“Hi, my pretty,” you look up from your phone as your boyfriend towel dries his hair in the doorway. His pajama pants are low on his hips and he still has drips on his chest from his shower. You notice as they trail down his neck to his chest then his toned stomach before they disappear at the band of his pants.

“Hi,” you speak out quietly and put your phone down. You reach your hands out towards him and he walks over to you, dropping the towel on the floor on his way. He kneels on the bed in front of you and you open your legs so he can wedge bis body between them.

You arch your back while he wraps his arms around you and settles into your neck. One of your hands wraps around his shoulder and the other threads through his damp hair.

“Don’t fall asleep while your hair is still damp, love,” you speak quietly and he nods into your neck, pressing a kiss to your collarbone.

“How was practice?” You whisper out. You had gotten home before Hyunjin and taken a shower. You were on the couch when Hyunjin got home. He came and gave you a quick peck and a greeting before beelining to the shower. He often makes it a priority to shower after a hard practice before he greets you properly.

“Long. But good. How was work?” He mumbles into your neck, his breath making goosebumps rise on your skin. You shrug and he sits up, resting his elbows on either side of your stomach to look at you properly.

“Nothing new,” you add on and he nods before leaning down and resting his chin on your stomach. You reach down and brush a strand of hair away from his face. His eyes close and he leans into your touch.

“How do you look so good all the time?” you speak out and a shy smile covers his face as his eyes open again. He sits all the way up on his knees and looks down at you.

“That’s what I always ask myself about you,” he comments and you smile back at him, a blush making its way to your face. His hands rest on your knees and he slowly slides them down your shins and feet before sliding them back up to your knees then down your thighs.

He stops along the way, thumbing at the faint red, purple, and yellow marks on each thigh. You let out a noise of discomfort at the pressure on some of them. Some are a bit sore and others are completely unnoticeable.

“My artwork is fading,” he breaths out and leans down, pressing a kiss to your knee. You nod in agreement but dont let any words leave your mouth. Your boyfriend sits up and slides himself closer to you so your thighs are on either side of his hips and his growing hard on is pressed against your core, making you let out a moan at the pressure.

“So pretty under me like this, my angel. You know that don’t you?” he asks and you bite down on your lip. His hand makes its way to your jawline and his thumb gently removes your lip from between your teeth before he’s leaning down and putting his lips against your own.

You part your lips to accept his tongue into your mouth and he pushes it in immediately. Your arms make their way around his neck and you pull him closer, deepening the kiss. His body collapses on top of yours and he grinds his hips lazily into you.

You swallow each other’s moans and you bite down gently on his lip when he starts to pull away. He licks over his own lip once you let go and dips back down to your jaw, placing a wet kiss there.

His slowly trails his kisses over to your exposed shoulder. The oversized shirt you had on exposed one of your shoulders and he uses this to his advantage to tease you. He kisses down the top of your shoulder then kisses back up to your clavicle. His hands find the hem of your shirt and he pushed it up to your chin, exposing your chest to him.

He dips down quickly and take one of your nipples into his mouth. You arch into his lips and tangle your fingers into his hair, tugging gently. He groans against your chest which mixes nicely with your own moans that are echoing through the room.

He trails his kisses down your stomach,and stops at the band of your panties. He grabs the band with his teeth and releases, letting the elastic snap back into your skin and causing you to jump.

“Jinnie…” you warn and he lets out a deep chuckle, glancing up at you again.

“May I?” He asks, grabbing either side of the hips on your panties. You nod and he places a kiss on the inside of your right thigh and gently nips the inside of your left thigh, making a moan croak out of your throat.

He drags your panties down your thighs and notices how wet you are. He wiggles the panties down the rest of your thighs and when the crotch touches your skin, it leave a wet mark. He pushes them off of one leg and lets them settle around your ankle, allowing you to kick them off yourself.

Hyunjin can’t help himself and bends down, licking the wet patch and moaning at the taste of you. He licks your wetness off your thigh before sucking harshly in the same spot and pulling back. He only sucks for a few seconds but the deep purple mark started to come up immediately. He runs his thumb over his work, a smirk on his face.

“So pretty,” he mumbles, more to himself than you. He settles down onto his stomach and grabs the back of both of your thighs, pushing them to either side of your chest and immediately dips his tongue down, collecting your wetness from your hole. He lets another moan out and the vibration sends chills over your body.

He sits up slightly and bites down on the flesh where your thigh meets your ass, leaving teeth marks and then soothing the skin with his tongue.

Hyunjin loves to leave marks on you. Evidence that you are his, but he also doesn’t want to be obvious. He opts to mark you in places that nobody has access to except the two of you.

“I love seeing your marks on me,” you speak up, snapping him out of his thoughts and making him realize that he had mindlessly been leaving hickeys and bites all over the back of your thighs.

“Mhm. Me too. You’re mine.” he states and dips back down to suck on your clit. His grip on the back of your thighs tightens when you try to close your legs, keeping them pushed to your chest so he can have full access to you.

“Make me cum, baby. Please,” you find yourself begging him. You place your hands on top of his on your thighs and he obeys, licking you exactly how he knows will send you over the edge until you’re cumming so hard you see stars.

Hyunjin lowers your legs and sits your feet on the bed but they feel like jelly and your legs fall open, which just gives him better access to your inner thighs. He immediately starts sucking on the flesh as you continue to try to calm your breathing.

By the time you’re back on earth, he has sucked three or four hickeys into either one of your inner thighs. You know your legs are going to be covered in bruises in the morning but you really couldn’t care less.

“Are you going to fuck me or what?” you taunt, your voice hoarse from moaning and then going silent for the past few minutes. Hyunjin glances up at you, his tongue gliding over one of the bruises.

“Welcome back. Of course I’ll fuck you. Anything you want, princess,” he assures you, a smirk making its way to his face.

Han-

“I have had the most stressful day,” Jisung mumbles from the other side of the phone. You can’t help letting out a soft chuckle.

“Well, hello to you too,” you tease and he lets out a half hearted chuckle before you continue, “Want to come over?” you offer, hoping maybe you can bribe him into relaxation.

“I would love to but I need to finish this track first. I think the best remedy for this day would be having your thighs on either side of my head,” Jisung sighs and you nearly choke on air.

“Han Jisung!” you scold, your entire body heating up at his words. He does this often. Jisung has a way with words and uses it to his advantage to fluster you or just turn you on. It always works and he knows it always does.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m just being honest. But I’m about to step into the studio. I’ll probably leave here around 9 and I’ll come straight to your house afterwards, okay?” he asks and you hear a door open in the background. You glance over at the clock and note that it is only 5:58, meaning there was probably three and a half hours between now and you finally seeing your boyfriend. You let out a sigh.

“I guess so. I wish you could come sooner though,” you whine out and he laughs again. You hear him sit down and can hear the familiar squeak of his favorite chair in the producing studio. He tends to rock back and forth in the chair and the sound of the squeak in engraved in your brain.

“I know. Me too. I love you, baby,” you can hear his smile on the other side.

“I know,” you tease and he lets out a exaggerated gasp.

“Kidding! I love you most, Sungie,” you make a kissing sound over the phone and he does the same before he hangs up to dive into his work. You get on your phone and start scrolling through social media for a while.

You eventually get bored and put your phone down, standing to walk to the fridge. You pull out a water bottle and lean against the counter, chugging a good bit and staring off into space. You catch yourself tapping your fingers against the bottle then look over your shoulder at the oven clock.

6:18.

You let out a groan and push yourself off the counter. You pace for a little bit before an idea pops into your mind. The likelihood of your boyfriend having had a good meal for dinner is slim to none. You grab your phone and open the internet app and looking up you two’s favorite restaurant. You click the number and place your and Jisung’s order before grabbing your wallet and keys and heading to the restaurant and then to the company.

“I’m here for Hannie,” you smile at the familiar receptionist and she greets you with a warm smile. She hands you your pass and buzzes you in.

“He’s in his office,” she jokes and you laugh. The studio really is his office with the way he spends time there.

“Thank you!” You smile again at her before stepping into the elevator and making your way to Jisung’s ‘office’. You tap gently on the door a few times before letting yourself in. Jisung doesn’t turn to face you, likely assuming its one of the boys. You place the food down on the table and walk over to him at the desk.

You throw your arm around his shoulder and lean down, pulling the headphone from his ear.

“Hi, baby,” you mumble and his head immediately turns to face you, very surprised to see you in the flesh when he was not expecting you.

“Y/n? What are you doing here,” he smiles and turns the chair so you’re standing between his legs. His hands grip the back of your thighs and rub up your ass, squeezing gently.

“I brought you dinner and I missed you,” you smile, pushing his hair back from his face. He smiles up at you and you lean down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You’re perfect,” he grins up at you before pressing a kiss to your lower stomach and then to either of your hips.

“Mm. I love these leggings on you,” his voice is deep and quiet while his hands run back down the back of your thighs. He slides his hands around your thighs and lets them run up the front of your thighs, stopping at your hips.

His thumbs rub over your groin gently and you feel your heart begin to race at the simple gesture.

“What did you bring to eat?” he questions and you swallow, trying to keep the dryness from your mouth.

“Same old,” you whisper out and he hums in response again, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your pubic bone.

“Can I have dessert first?” he asks and your eyebrows drop into a furrow at his question.

“I didn’t bring any dessert?” You question, confused. Jisung leans forward again and places a strategic kiss right on your clit, making your body jump at the contact.

“You always have dessert on you, baby,” he smirks up at you before hooking his thumbs into your leggings and pulling them down your thighs. He drops to his knees as he gets to your ankles and has you step out of your leggings. When he sits up on his knees again, he’s face to face with your bare cunt.

“Lemme get these pretty thighs around my head. That’s what I promised, isn’t it?” he questions and demands at the same time. He turns you and guides you to sit in the chair, a squeak echoing through the studio.

He pries your thighs apart and literally licks his lips at the sight in front of him. Your hand instinctively makes its way into his hair and he wastes no more time, licking a stripe up your wet pussy. Your legs clamp shut around his head and he groans against your core, pulling your legs to rest on either of his shoulders and wrapping his arms around your thighs, kneading the flesh softly before he dive back in.

“Fuck, Jisung,” you whimper out and he moans against you as you approach your high. He continues to suck at the same pace as you go tumbling over the edge, eyes rolling back into your head. He licks you through it until you’re twitching from the overstimulation. When he pulls back, his chin is glistening with spit and your own arousal.

“Mm. I think you ruined my favorite chair,” he complains as you try to catch your breath again.

“Not my fault,” you breathe out and finally look down at Jisung. He places a kiss to your thigh and they tighten around his head again, making him groan.

“I’m still stressed. I think I need to do that a few more times and I’ll be fine,” he nods at you and you blink at him a few times.

“The food will get cold…” you trail off but the promise of another orgasm has you biting down on your lip.

“I got all I could ever want to eat right here,” he mumbles and leans down to begin eating you out again.

Felix-

"Are you sure its okay if I come?" You ask Felix on video call for the millionth time. You hear him let out a laugh from where he's set up on your desk while you dig through your drawer.

"Yes, y/n. Chris said, and I quote, 'see if y/n wants to come. I would love to see her in a bathing suit' end quote," he laughs again when you groan and throw your head into your hands.

You have to admit that Chris is quite attractive but he'll never do it for you like Felix does. But, Felix is your best friend. You can't have feelings for your best friend.

"They'll all be happy to see you. Especially in a bikini. It's just a pool. It'll be fun. I think Innie is bringing a few of his friends too," he explains and you nod, although he can barely see you.

"Ahh. Found you," you mumble to yourself and pull out your favorite red bikini. It's nothing special but it is one of those tops with the v-underwire so it makes the girls look good.

"Is this okay?" you hold the bathing suit up and you don't notice the way Felix gulps. Gulps because he's imaging how you look, gulps because he's wondering how he's going to be okay with knowing all the boys are looking at you, gulps because he's already getting hard and hasn't even seen you in it yet.

"Perfect. I love when you wear red," he compliments you and you smile, a small unnoticeable warmth to your cheeks.

"Thanks, Lixie. I'll be over in like 20 minutes. Okay?" you ask as you walk over to the phone and pick it up. He nods in response and you blow him a kiss, the same routine as always, before hanging up and getting changed.

Once you get to the house that they are staying in, there is a good amount of people already there. Seems like everyone brought a plus one or two so Felix really was right about you being okay to come.

"Lix!" You call out to him when you step out of the house and into the backyard. His head turn's immediately from where he is sitting on the edge of the pool and your breath catches in your throat at the sight in front of you. You have seen Felix shirtless a thousand times but this is the first time you've seen him shirtless since they got back from tour.

To say he looks good would be an understatement.

You tear your eyes away from his chest and torso once you notice how close he's coming to you and don't want to get caught.

"Finally! Come get in the water with me. Nobody else will!" he grabs your wrist and drags you over to the chair that his shirt is laying on.

"Okay, okay. Let me get myself together," you giggle out and he sits down in the chair waiting for you. You sit your bag down in his lap and take your T-shirt off followed my your jean shorts and place them into the bag in his lap then kick your shoes off.

Now it's Felix's turn to gawk. He has never seen you so... bare before. Never in a bathing suit and never in anything that accentuated you so perfectly.

"You'll catch a fly," you tease and push his jaw closed with one finger. You're teasing him but your heart is racing.

"Come on," he commands and stands, moving his t shirt from the chair into your bag and instead of pulling your wrist to guide you back to the pool, he places a hand on the small of your back. It's a simple gesture but it still send electricity all over your entire body.

The water seems quite cold with all the extra heat radiating through your body at Felix's presence. The two of you getting into the water seemed to encourage a good amount of other people to also get in. You quickly get dragged away by Jeongin and he introduces you to some of his friends.

“Who is this?” Felix’s voice reaches you and you turn away from the conversation with Jeongin’s friend as he approaches you two. You’re sat on the bench thats in the pool and the guy is standing in front of you. Honestly, he’s pretty cool and quite obviously flirting with you so you may have been giggling a bit harder than usual.

“Oh this is Innie’s friend!” You smile out to Felix and he slides onto the bench next to you, making you scoot over to make room for him. They introduce themselves and shake hands before Felix drops his hand under the water and places it just above your knee.

Felix has his hand on your thigh.

You feel your body stiffen up and it feels like there is cotton in your ears as your brain and heart both begin to race. You feel a light tap on your thigh under the water and snap out of your trance to turn and face Felix.

“You okay?” He has concern laced in his voice and you nod quickly, trying to catch your breath.

“Y-yeah. I think I want to go lay out for a little bit,” you reassure him and start to move towards the stairs.

“Mind if I join you?” Felix speaks up before I.N’s friend can and you turn with a smile on your face.

“Of course not. Come on,” you hold out your hand and Felix takes it quickly as you walk out of the water. He doesn’t let go of your hand until you reach the chair with your bag on it. He drags another chair over and sits it next to the chair you’re beginning to settle on.

“This weather is so nice,” you comment and let your eyes fall closed, pulling your knees up. You feel a hand settle on your knee and don’t have to open your eyes to recognize it to be your best friend.

Felix is always touchy. We all know this. For some reason, he seems to be being extra touchy, even for Felix. He probably doesn’t even realize how much of an effect it is having on your mind and body.

Felix shifts up in the chair and his hand slides down slightly, the only thing stopping him from making contact with your wet, from the pool and other things, bathing suit is where your thighs are touching.

“I’m glad you could come,” Felix’s voice is soft and you nod in agreement, muttering out a quiet ‘me too’ and letting your body relax. The relaxation results in your legs falling open a little further and Felix’s hand slides down even more making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Do you want to go get something to drink?” Felix suddenly asks and you nod again, unsure if he is even looking because your eyes are still screwed shut. You feel his hand lift from your thigh and you pry your eyes open to be met with his still damp face and damp hair. You could devour him whole right now.

You both stand and you start to lead the way when Felix throws an arm over your shoulder, preventing you from walking ahead of him. Once you reach the sliding door, he pulls it open and steps inside, waiting for you to step in behind him before he shuts it again.

You start to head towards the fridge but a tight grip on your wrist has you turning and pushed against a counter. Felix’s face is only inches from away, his breath mixing with yours.

“Lix, what-”

“I’m done pretending. I’m going to kiss you now. Okay?” his words shock you and his eyes drag away from your lips to search your eyes. Your hand finds the back of his head and you pull his lips to your firmly.

The kiss is perfect. It might be a little uncoordinated but you have never felt something so perfect against your lips in your life. He steps towards you, pressing your further into the counter and his very obvious hard on presses into your hip. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he speaks up and you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. Your hand trails from the back of his head to his neck and down his chest. You slow down and drag your nails across his toned stomach, making him let out a groan.

“Why stop here?” you instigate and your hands trail further down stopping over his hard on and palming him, another low groan leaving his throat.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he mutters, smashing his lips into yours again.

Seungmin-

"Seungmin," You warn again for the thousandth time just tonight. You had come to one of your acquaintance's dinner parties, a friend of a friend. Seungmin had a particular dislike for said acquaintance. He claims he is always making "googly eyes" at you even when you obviously have a boyfriend.

Seungmin isn't a jealous person per say, he was more of a possessive person. He just doesn't like people blatantly disrespecting or disregarding things that he perceives as his, you included.

"I didn't even do anything," he tries to defend himself but you make eye contact with him, raising your eyebrows. He lets out a sigh and you roll your eyes.

"I just don't like him," he confesses and you gasp, a hand clutched to your chest.

"No! Really? I would have never noticed!" You reply sarcastically and now its his turn to roll his eyes. Before you can say anything else, the acquaintance approaches the two of you that are sat on the loveseat.

"Mind if I sit?" he asks and points to the barely there spot on the side of you.

"Yeah I do mind actu-"

"Of course not! Sit," you insist and scoot closer to your boyfriend to allow him to sit on the other side of you. He settles next to you and Seungmin immediately lays his hand across your lap, pulling your legs closer to him and away from the man sitting next to you. He lets his fingers start to fidget with the fray on the edge of the holes in your jeans. He is making it very clear he is here and doesn't want anyone to forget it.

His eyes dart down to Seungmin's hand and you don't have to turn around to know that he has the smuggest grin on his face. You feel his hand move and makes its way into the hole of your jeans, resting his hand against your bare thigh.

"Excuse him. He's in a... mood," you nudge your boyfriend gently and hear him scoff behind you.

"Happy birthday, though! How's another year older than me feel?" You tease. He is now three years older than you and you make jokes about being so much younger than him every time you see each other.

"Oh hush. But thank you! I'm so glad you could come!" you feel Seungmin's grip tighten a bit at his words but ignore it.

"Of course! I'm glad we could come," you try to reassure your boyfriend and place your hand on his thigh as well, letting it wrap around his inner thigh. You can feel him physically melt into your hold and you know that he is softening up a bit.

"Yeah. I didn't know he was coming though. What was it again? Simon?" as soon as the sentence leaves his mouth, you don't even have time to process what he said and his tone before Seungmin is opening his own mouth.

"We all know that you know my name," he deadpans, his eyes never leaving the room. He doesn't even bother looking the man in the eyes, genuinely unbothered by his attempt at a jab.

"Minnie..." your tone is low but before you can say anything else, the guy beside you speaks again.

"No need to apologize! I totally get it," he says and you look over at him, confused. You definitely were not going to tell Seungmin to apologize and you're not quite sure what there is to 'get'.

"I can guarantee nobody was going to apologize. If anyone is apologizing, it should be you for constantly flirting with my future wife. She isn't going anywhere so go ahead and give up while I'm still being nice," Seungmin's voice is low and cautious. Nobody around would even be able to pick up on the tension between the three of you on the love seat.

"I never flirted-"

"Cut the crap and get out of my sight before you piss me off even more," Seungmin interrupts him, his tone sharp and taunting. His grip on your thigh tightens and you can't help but chew on your lip. The mixture of his hand on your thigh and the way he is talking to this man, the clench in his jaw, the way his eyes are daring the man to try anything. It all had you thinking the nastiest thoughts.

"This is my house,"

"Then we'll leave," Seungmin stands abruptly and you barely have time to process he is standing before he is grabbing your hand and pulling you up, wrapping a possessive arm around your waist.

"Wait bub! I need to say bye to everyone," you try to stop him but he is already making a beeline for the door and dragging you away with him.

"You can text them," His voice is hoarse and has anger dripping from every word. It makes you snap your mouth shut, not wanting to piss him off any further.

It's only a five minute walk from the house back to your place and the entire walk is silent. You stayed a few steps behind your boyfriend, not on purpose, but every time you caught up to him, he would speed up enough to not be walking side by side.

"Did I do something?" you speak out lowly when you reach your place. Seungmin lets out a sigh and types your code into your door, pushing it open and you slide in. When you walk past him, his hand gently guides your lower back into the house. His own way of reassuring you.

"You're mine. You know that right?" his voice speaks up from behind you while you pull your jacket off and you hum in response. Once your jacket is pulled off, he pushes your hair over one of your shoulders and places a kiss to where your neck and shoulder meet. His lips trail up to your earlobe where he presses a gentle kiss there too.

"Say it. Tell me you're mine," he whispers, his breath sending chills down your spine. His hands wrap around your lower stomach, trailing down your hips, then settling on the top of your thighs.

He lets his hands sink into the flesh and leans down again, pressing another kiss to your neck. His hands make their way into the rips in the thighs of your jeans and he squeezes the flesh again.

"Y/n." His voice is stern, making your eyes snap open.

"Y-yes?" your voice is quite the opposite, small and shaky.

"Tell me. Say you're mine," he commands again, his hands still kneading your thighs, a little more roughly than before.

"I'm yours," you breathe out when he sucks gently into your neck, not enough to leave a mark but definitely enough to make you know he's there.

"Mm. Good girl. I saw you looking at me when I was mad. Rubbing your thighs together while I was doing everything in my power to not wring that guy's neck," he pauses and takes one hand out of the hole of your jeans before flicking the button of your jeans open.

"Remember you're mine. I want to hear it all night," He commands as his hand makes its way into your jeans and cups your heat.

"I'm yours, Seungmin. Always have been and always will be," yoi confess and he chuckles against your neck.

I.N:

Before you even started dating, you were well aware of Jeongin’s sensitivity to your touch. You could feel his body physically heat up under your touch. You never saw just how sensitive he could get until you had already begun dating.

The two of you are laying on the couch, watching your favorite holiday movie for the millionth time. You’re laying on his chest, your legs intertwined together. Your hand resting on his chest eventually gets uncomfortable and you settle on his thigh on top of your own leg instead.

You gently graze your nails over the exposed flesh and you feel the trail of heat that your touch is leaving which directly contradicts the goosebumps rising on his skin. Jeongin clears his throat and adjusts under you slightly, squeezing your shoulders a little tighter before loosening again.

“Am I tickling you?” you inquire and you feel him shake his head before he speaks up.

“No. Feels good,” he mumbles out and you look up at your boyfriend. His focus is on the T.V. and he has the arm that isn’t wrapped around you propped underneath his head, the veins and the muscle in his bicep defined and you bite down on your lip. He finally looks down at you and you feel your self heat up slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he questions and you shake your head, letting it rest back on his chest again.

“Nothing, nothing. I was just…observing how perfect you are,” you giggle when you feel his chest heat up under your cheek, a blush surely rising to his face. Your nails begin to trail up and down his thigh again and you’ve absentmindedly written some words and drawn some shapes when Jeongin’s hand comes down, gripping your wrist tightly to stop your tracing.

You look up at him again but he is still focused on the T.V. He takes a deep breath before looking down at you again.

“Okay. That’s enough,” he nods raises his eyebrows at you and a small pout finds its way to your lips.

“But you said it didn’t tickle,” you whine and he shakes his head at you, a smirk making its way to his lips.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me feel other things,” he explains and confusion covers your face for a moment before you understand. He wasn’t getting tickled, he was getting turned on.

“I-I um. Sorry?” you question as you feel a blush cover your face and immediately hide it back down on Jeongin’s chest.

“It isn’t your fault. My body just has such an… intense reaction to you,” he explains and you hum in response, nodding on his chest.

“Me too,” you confess and you hear the chuckle deep in his chest in response.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Your um thigh keeps pressing up um against me and it’s yeah,” you explain mildly, trailing off at the sentence.

“Tell me, baby. Finish your thoughts,” he prompts you, his voice deep and demanding. It makes you not even want to dare disobey him.

“I’ve been wet for the past 30 minutes,” the words tumble out of your mouth so fast and you barely have time to be embarrassed when Jeongin sits up, making you sit up with him.

“Innie? What are you-” he cuts you off by leaning in and kissing you, his hands on either side of your face. You turn to sit on your knees but Jeongin pulls you to straddle his lap instead, deepening the kiss. You push your tongue into his mouth and grind down onto him at the same time.

His moan allows you access to his mouth, asserting dominance over him quickly. It doesn’t last long, however, and he bucks his hips up against you. You moan and he leans back to be able to take in your sounds more clearly. His hands settle onto your thighs, preventing you from moving away from him as he grinds against your crying core.

“Fuck, Innie. I need more,” you whine and grind down onto him harder. One of his hands wraps around your lower back and he readjusts the two of you so that he is above you on the couch now. His hand dips into your sweatpants and underwear. He is pleased to see that you weren’t lying about being wet.

He leans down and connects your lips again as he dips one finger into your soaking core, pumping slowly. You moan into his mouth and grind down into his hand, still wanting more.

“M-more,” you breathe out and he chuckles against your lips, pushing another finger into your core and making you arch into him.

“So greedy. What a greedy little pussy,” he murmurs against your lips and dips down to kiss along the side of your neck. His free hand wraps around your thigh and pushes it towards your chest to give him better access. Your other thigh drops open and he groans at the way you’re pulsing around his fingers.

He pulls his hand from your pants and pops the two fingers into his mouth, sucking you clean from them and letting out a guttural moan at the taste of you on his tongue.

“I would love to keep fingering you but I need to feel you on my cock or I might explode,” he grunts and you laugh but shimmy out of the lower half of your clothes while he does the same.

“Hold on, let me grab a condom,” he starts to back away from you but you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him towards you. His hands land on either side of your head and the tip of his cock is pushed against your clit.

“Forget it. Just fuck me, Innie,” you demand and he curses under his breath, immediately reaching down and aligning himself with your entrance.

“You can’t say things like this if you want me to last,” he scolds you but before you can say anything back, he slowly slides into you, a moan falling from both of your mouths. He grabs either of your thighs and closes them, placing your ankles on either of his shoulders.

Your hands drop and grip onto his thighs, nails gently digging into the flesh, ripping a moan from Jeongin’s throat.

“Fuck. Why do you want me to cum too early so bad? You keep doing these things that make me go insane,” he slowly begins thrusting into you and your breathing starts to pick up.

“Fuck me like you mean it,” the words leave your mouth before you can even process what you’re saying and your eyes fly open to look at Jeongin’s. He stops for no longer than a second before moving both of your legs over one of his shoulders and leaning forward, practically bending you in half.

He obeys you, however and begins drilling into you at an almost painful pace. Your nails dig into his thighs again, leaving indents and scratch marks over the smooth skin.

“I’m going to fill you up with my cum and then fuck it back inside of you, baby, fuck,” Jeongin grunts out as strangled and incomprehensible sounds and words leave your mouth.

Your relationship is fairly new and you have only had sex a handful of times but this is definitely the nastiest that he has gotten. The roughest he has ever gotten too. It has your brain melting and the movie long forgotten as you inch closer and closer to the edge.

“I-I’m going to cum,” you practically yell out, your voice thin and whiny. He smirks at your state as tears start to fall from your eyes.

“You can cum if you want to, princess. I’m not stopping if you do,” he grants you permission but the promise of him continuing to fuck you anyways has you scared and aroused, and inevitably pushing you over the edge as your orgasm comes crashing down all around you.

Your beautifully sadistic boyfriend keeps his promise and continues to fuck you, only slowing down slightly so he can properly observe your face and moans. He speeds back up when it seems like you’re coming back to earth and all you can see is white as the overstimulation take over.

Your body is shaking and writhing and you’re crying out until suddenly, it starts to feel good again and you feel another one quickly approaching.

“You’re leaving marks all over my legs, baby,” Jeongin’s voice snaps you back to reality and your eyes shoot open. You glance down at his legs and see deep scratch marks that are beginning to turn purple.

“Y-you l-like it,” you stutter out, your voice shaky. He chuckles and hums in agreement before leaning down and reconnecting your lips again.

835 notes · View notes

lostinforestbound · 15 days

Text

It's here after many weeks, the 10k one-shot to celebrate 200 followers, but I suppose it's also to celebrate 300 followers as well! I meant for 300 to be a different celebration but that's okay! I'm sure I'll make something else for the next milestone!

Requested Tags: @dutifullylazybread @heytheresunflower @barbwillbrb

Rolan/GN!Tav

I Shouldn't Love You Like You Are Mine

Rolan has too much to do with so little time. Becoming the new Master of Ramazith's tower is proving more complicated than the wizard have ever thought. On top of it all, he has a deep infatuation with Tav, the hero who saved him and his family many times. He knows he has no chance with them, so he has settled on hopelessly pining and dreaming. One day, Tav rushes into the shop in a panic, and he could have never in his wildest fantasies expect what they request of him.

Word Count: 10k (Don't like Tumblr? Read on AO3 instead!)

Relevant Tags: Rolan's POV, Makeout Diversion, Smut, Lorroakan Bashing

Beta Reader: @el-tur-el (Thank you so much for your help T!!!)

NSFW under cut, Minors DNI

The air is stale, the scent of electricity still strong in the space that surrounds him, the taste of blood on his tongue from when his sharp teeth gashed the inside of his mouth. He's sore, bruised, burned, somewhat electrocuted by the way some of his muscles spasm still, but he's alive. Tav is long gone with their companions, and all that is left is him and a dead man.

When staring down at the body of his spine-broken master, Rolan is not sure of how he's supposed to feel. At first, he felt a genuine joy that he had not felt in many years. The adrenaline was still high at the time, and he proudly remarked that he would turn the tower inside out to find its secrets and share them with the world. He always has been ambitious, that is what got him this far, after all. Tav seems happy for him, and he ignores how it made his heart pound even more.

As he stands alone in the room, he questions whether he's supposed to feel something now that the joy has faded within the span of minutes. Some kind of liberation? Or perhaps his emotions are fighting each other in his psyche, making him feel everything and nothing all at once. The man who tortured him, who beat him like he was a misbehaving dog he didn't even want, who refused to teach him anything about wielding the weave, lays dead by his feet. He can't help but think that he looks pathetic now, face twisted in permanent fear even after death.

He spits on his face as a final 'fuck you'. He hopes he rots in the deepest pits of the hells that he was once dragged to.

Running his stiff hands down his face, he tries to think of what to do first. He has to get rid of this body, it can't stay here lying around. It will decay and stink more than Lorroakan already has. Grabbing a fistful of the dead man's hair, he drags his body towards the balcony. He could throw his body over the railing, it would be insult to injury, but no. He will do something much worse.

He digs into the stray backpack at the edge of the railing and takes out a disintegration scroll, one that he knew Lorroakan hid out here as a backup plan in case a fight doesn't go his way. Without thinking too much on it, he casts the spell on the body, and Lorroakan disappears into ash.

His former teacher was now erased, made into nothing, and no one will remember or miss him. A fate worse than death, in Rolan's opinion.

Almost numbly, he heads back inside the main room and tries to find cleaning supplies. There's so much blood on the floor, and it did not help he made a trail while dragging the body. He wishes Tav was still here so he could demand they clean their mess up, where he wouldn't notice his tail flicking back and forth in irritation. Would they bother listening to him? Maybe not, but at least they would be there, just a little longer. Just enough time for him to pine once more.

Lia is right, he's a very selfish creature.

A couple of mage hands bring a bucket of water and an unused mop over. He is taken aback, as he thought they would have disappeared in Lorroakan's absence. Although, these could have been Ramazith's, wherever that wizard is now. It doesn't matter, either way. They're his now.

He dunks the mop into the water and starts swiping across the floor, noticing how as he cleans, the white cloth of the strands turn red. There's so much godsdamned blood, it will take him forever to clear the mess. There's a lot of blood on him, too. Specks and splatters of blood paint his hands crimson, long dried onto his red skin. His mentor's blood. Lorroakan's blood.

He helped murder a man, today. He killed someone. His blood is on his hands as much as it may be on the Nightsong's. Or Tav's.

An unsuspected shudder runs through his body, and he feels sick. He chalks it up to his adrenaline rush going down too quickly, ignoring the feeling as he swipes the mop across the floor.

The hairs on his neck stand on end as he feels the crackle of the weave, warning him someone is coming through the portal. Part of him hopes it would be Tav; he wants to talk to them again. Maybe they can help him with the cleanup, laughing about how they left him here without realizing it. He would stumble over his words like a fool, trying to be impressive in his pathetic state.

It's not Tav that arrives though, he recognizes Lia's quick footsteps anywhere. She's always been the fastest between him and Cal; they both could never beat her in a race, but he swears he lets her win.

"Rolan!" She shouts, quickly coming up to him along with Cal, whose heavier footsteps are right behind hers. "Finally! You kept talking up this tower and now we get to see it-"

"Wait, is that blood?" Cal immediately interrupts, face falling.

He must look horrendous, Rolan realizes. He got so busy cleaning the floor that he didn't even bother washing up first. Based on when he looked at himself that morning, the bruises should still be very prominent. Shit.

Lia bristles when she cups his face, looking at his injuries. "What is this?"

The silence that falls between them is telling. He knows she figured it out a long time ago, but she wants to hear him say it. "I'm fine, Lia. He was a horrible mentor, but it's not my blood on the ground."

"Tav told us they helped you kick his ass." Cal comments, trying to lighten their moods, "Looks like you did just that if this blood isn't yours."

"You should've killed him earlier, idiot!" She spits.

"I know, I know." He mutters, trying to speak even as Lia turns his face around to see the damage. "It's good to see you two."

"We missed you, brother," Cal says, gently moving Lia away and hugging him. "Please don't do that again. It was hard, without you."

Rolan lets out a sigh he didn't know he was holding, hugging Cal tightly. Lia joins in quickly after. When was the last time they held each other like this? He doesn't remember.

It feels nice.

While it doesn't last long, it is more than satisfactory for him. They help him with the clean up, Lia helping with the blood while Cal sweeps the floor with a broom. They take on more workload than Rolan wants, but he can't argue with them when they practically plead for him to rest. To be honest, he's unbelievably sore, and maybe sitting down for a bit wouldn't hurt.

It only takes his body a few minutes until it's antsy again, so he joins them quickly after.

And then he never stops moving.

He cleans, reorganizes, and keeps walking despite his beaten body screaming at him to stop. He can't stop, because if he does, he knows he will not want to get back up. He'll crash, and he can't afford that.

At the end of it all, he enters Lorroakan's room without thinking and is frozen in place. He's been in here before, but never for good reasons, only beatings. Is this not his room now that the original master is gone? But it reeks of his old mentors stench. He scrunches his nose as he looks at all the personalized decorations. They're hideous, all of the colors too bright to stare at, and most not matching with each other in terms of palette. There's not even a real theme and it makes him irate.

He remembers being beaten on this very floor for messing up a verbal component.

Enraged, he marches up to the bed and tears off the sheets, making a point to dig his claws into them so they would rip. The pillows are next, tossing them across the room and onto the floor. He'll need to replace every damn thing if he wants to use this bed. To use this room.

Unwanted memories start to flood into his mind as he tears the place apart, most of them being on the ground, where Lorroakan said he belonged. Beaten, burned, electrocuted, sometimes poisoned. A place where he was at his most pathetic. He often has nightmares about those late nights, but some of the worst ones were Tav walking in and seeing him like that, utterly broken on floor. They would never see him the same, and he doesn't know whether he prefers them to be disgusted by him or to feel pity.

He's close to a breakdown, having trouble getting air into his lungs before Cal and Lia comes in. "Rolan?"

With a slow sigh, he turns to look at them. "Why are you two up?"

Lia's eyes trail around the destroyed room, seeming to note the claw marks on the bed sheets discarded on the carpet. "Couldn't sleep." She says simply, giving a knowing look.

"Can we sleep with you?" Cal asks, rubbing the back of his neck, "Like when we were kids? Just for one night."

His jaw moves to start a pointless argument, but then snaps shut. They're both not children anymore, they can sleep by themselves. He can sleep by himself. However, he cannot deny that he craves the affection it would bring. He hasn't been this long without them, no matter how much he complained about them being clingy before.

"All right." He says quietly after taking a deep breath, "Not in here, though. Come."

He quietly leads them to the comparatively bland room Lorroakan gave him in Sorcerous Sundries. It isn't terrible, but he realizes that the bed is way too small for the three of them. Thankfully, he had a remedy. He adjusts an enlarge spell and makes the bed wider, and they all settle down on top of it easily.

Lia makes him stay in the middle while she settles on his right side, Cal climbing over carefully to lay on his left. Honestly, he misses having them so close.

"Rolan?" Cal speaks up as Lia pulls up the blanket.

"Hm?"

"Can you make a light show for a little bit?"

Rolan can't help but smile, slowly closing his eyes before opening them up again and raising his hands. "Any requests?"

"Make it look like flowers blooming." Lia says instantly, draping an arm around his middle.

He huffs before murmuring a few words, a burst of colors appearing in the air. Like asked, they take form of flowers blooming, petals falling near them gently. It's gorgeous.

It fades after a minute though, the exhaustion finally catching up to him as he falls asleep. If Cal and Lia were bothered by it not lasting, they don’t say a word.

For the first time in years, his night is not plagued by nightmares.

---

As soon as he wakes, Rolan does not stop moving.

He's the new master of Ramazith's tower, there is so much to do with so little time. The Absolute's army is on its way and he needs to gather everything he can to protect his siblings, and to protect Tav.

Tav doesn't need protecting, he knows that all too well, but he needs to do something. Anything at all. He needs to prepare the arcane cannon, but there is so much research to be done. On top of it all, he wants to be able to focus on his studies, but then run a shop at the same time.

He barely eats the toasted bread he haphazardly made for himself, too distracted by the logs Lorroakan left behind. There's so many customers he needs to take care of, including deliveries. Maybe he could repurpose the animated armor to make the deliveries, but that could be shaky as they're unstable. Well, Lorroakan's magic was always weakly done...he could rework the sigils. He'll have to rework everything in this place, actually.

Gods, everything is such a fucking mess. He knows he needs help, but respectfully, he wants everything a certain way and his siblings won't be able to give him what he wants. Tav would be able to understand-

He stops reading, surprising himself with his thought. Tav? Why would he think Tav would know how he likes things? It's ridiculous. But he can imagine it, them carrying books around with whatever means and placing them in alphabetical order, then by subject. They would tease him about being so stingy with what books go where on the bookshelf.

And they would laugh. Not quite at him, but laugh nonetheless. It's such a perfect sound in his ears, and the thought of it makes the tip of his tail flick about. Damn it all!

He's been thinking about them a lot, unfortunately. Ever since the Shadow Cursed Lands, where they succeeded in saving his siblings where he could not, an infatuation began to settle in his heart. He had half the mind to possibly confess, but immediately pushed it out of his mind. There was no possible way they would feel the same. He's too bitter, too arrogant, and he saw the way they looked at Gale, someone who is much more accomplished than he is. It is a fondness that he never received once in his life, and certainly not by them. He was jealous of it, but jealousy is an ugly little trait to have, so he gave up on dwelling.

The feelings never went away, no matter how much he wants them too.

He wants to say more to them, especially after they saved his sorry tail again during the fight up in the tower. They left before he could, he was too dazed staring at the mess the Nightsong made of his former master. He regrets being too out of it to say anything proper.

What would he have told them anyways? He doubts anything worthwhile. Probably a weak apology and an even weaker attempt to express his feelings. In the end, they would reject him, no doubt. He messed up too many times, back in the Shadow Cursed Lands, even if they accepted his apology for lashing out.

So he continues on and tries to forget, organizing the scrolls at the front counter of Sorcerous Sundries. His nose scrunches in irritation at the disorganization of it all. Was Lorroakan always like this? They aren't even categorized in the right sections, its horrendous. Diabolical. A sin on this shop.

Frustration straining his brow, he lays them flat on the counter to decipher where they should go, ignoring the ache that sits subtly in his bones. He hasn't had the chance to heal himself, so the bruises are still very prominent. It doesn't matter, he can take care of it later.

He knows deep in his heart that later will never come.

In the middle of his thought, one of the front doors burst open. Someone runs in and...well, he doesn't recognize them, but he does see the illusion aura that surrounds their figure. He's about to yell at them about their audacity, but their disguise instantly fades when they close.

It's Tav, in all of their wonderful glory.

"Tav?" He asks dumbly as they rush the to the counter.

They urgently hop over the counter and grab his wrist, and he actively has to suppress a wince by the force. "I need help. Hurry!"

Without a chance of responding, they drag him along towards one of the rooms along the side of the shop. They practically throw him in there.

The door slam briefly echoes in the room, and he barely has time to react before the back of his thighs meet the desk inside. He hisses, the bruises still fresh, “What in the hells are you doing?”

“I need a diversion. I was disguised but the Flaming Fist followed me.” They state, starting to open up the front of their tunic to make a mess. “Let me kiss you.”

He hates how the tip of his tail stands at attention, and thank the gods they don’t notice it. “What.”

“We’re kissing. Now. Just-“ They groan, loosening their shirt more to make themselves look like a mess. “-I need to make it look like I was busy. Rolan, please?”

He should say no. Everything is screaming at him to say no. But he is a weak man, and he’s dreamed that he could have them in his arms. Or be in their arms, it didn’t matter to him.

As soon as he gives a nod, they grab the front of his collar and pull him in, kiss searing. It takes everything in his being not to moan at the contact, especially when they loosen his hair properly to make it fall past his ears. They don’t touch them, much to his relief.

Pretending to put on the same act as them, he presses into them enthusiastically, letting their tongue in when it pries at his teeth. He fell out of control so quickly that he doesn’t know how to pick himself back up. He had half the mind to let them have their way with him. Blood rushes down south when their hand slides up his clothed stomach, sweat beading on the back of his neck as the muscles tense and quiver. Their touch was firm, demanding, and the voice in his head screams at him to not deny them for a moment. How long has he been waiting for something like this to happen?

Before he could panic about his dick twitching in interest at their ministrations, the door flies open. It startles Tav enough to where they bite his lip on accident, making him jolt.

A group of Flaming Fist freeze at the door, taking in the scene before them.

Rolan reacts quickly with his typical sneer, sitting up straighter and trying to ignore Tav being between his legs. “Do you mind?”

“Well, sir-“ One starts but the other, a commander most likely, cuts them off.

“There’s a suspected thief that we believe ran into here.”

“So you decided to almost break down one of my doors?” He questions, making a show of magic to fix his hair up. Tav moves away with their arms crossed in front of their chest, looking annoyed.

“We apologize, sir, but this thief is-“

"Excuse me?" Tav states, putting on an offended face. "How dare you! I am not a thief! I've been in this shop for a while now, unless you are accusing me of stealing from here?"

Rolan comes in before the Commander starts to retort. “My partner, no, my associate could not have been a ‘thief’ as they have been here with me for the past fifteen minutes. And this chase happened how long ago now?”

One of the other Flaming Fists glances up at the clock in the room. “…Five minutes.“

The man to their right smacks them upside the head.

“And what did they look like?” Rolan continues.

“A pale half-orc, short hair with a blue blouse, but-“

He raises a hand to silence them, as if they were misbehaving children. “Then I believe we are done here, as my associate is wearing nothing of the sort and does not look like what you described. Now, unless you are here to buy something or set a donation for the rebuilding fund of the shop, you will kindly leave the premises of Sorcerous Sundries this instant. I expect a formal apology by the end of this week.”

In all honesty, it's funny how lost these Flaming Fist look. They seem unsure of what to do. As Tav scoffs and looks away, it seems as though they're trying not to laugh. He has to fight the smile that's teasing the corners of his mouth, staring at all the blustering Fists as they figure out what to do. Reluctantly, frustrated and angry, they exit out of the office and leave the shop with their tail in between their legs.

He brushes himself off when the heat dies down, finally able to compose himself. “What the hells were you doing? Are you mad?!”

They finally let out the laugh they were holding, straightening themselves out. “I blew up a Fireworks shop. An Absolute Cultist was running it! Who knew? To answer your second question, maybe a little bit. It's been a tough day.”

"And you thought you could just run in here while I was working? Making the Flaming Fist dirty my floors after I just had Cal clean it?!"

"I'm sorry Rolan, I panicked. I wasn't thinking." They say, seeming genuinely apologetic.

He could barely focus, mind still catching up with the events. Is he truly this easy? All they had to do was demand a kiss and he would follow them, like a lovesick puppy? He's ashamed of himself, and he didn't even notice them speaking again.

"Rolan?"

"What?"

"How are you?" They ask sincerely.

He straightens himself up and gets back into his usual facade. "I am well enough. This shop and the tower is a horrid mess, so I've already been spending time reorganizing the texts. Lorroakan barely knew his alphabet. They were not even organized by subject!"

They laugh at that, and gods, the sound makes his heart pound, but afterwards they frown at him, eyes scanning to his face. "You're still bruised."

"I haven't had the time to take care of them. There is too much to do."

They dig into their pack and hold out what he recognizes as a superior healing potion. "Here. If you're going to work, at least heal up. Did I hurt you earlier?"

He slowly takes it, perplexed, "It is nothing I can't handle."

"I'm sorry." They murmur.

"I appreciate your apology, and I forgive you." He states, uncorking the bottle and drinking down the potion.

Instantly, the deep set ache and soreness of his form fades to something less painful. Its like a warm hug, and he feels energized.

They give him a soft set smile as he places the bottle down on the desk. "You look a lot better."

Gods, if he could, he would crush the fluttering feeling the compliment gave him. "Excuse you, I always look better. Now, besides that whole mess that you created, was there anything else you needed from me?”

"I want to make purchases...and barter?" They squeak out.

He sighs heavily, opening the door back up for them, "Of course you do. All right, what do you have for trade then?"

They head out to the counter with a skip to their step. "I promise it's worth it!"

---

Tav ended up having plenty of things to trade, including heavy set armor, rings, and magic items they don't need anymore. Thankfully not all fortune is lost, as they give some coin for high level spell scrolls. A Globe of Invulnerability...how interesting. He knows they are out and about adventuring, but what would they need that kind of spell for? How do they even have the gold to afford it??

They were out the door before he can ask them, clearly in a hurry to get somewhere. "Thank you Rolan!"

A little defeated, he continues on with the rest of his day. Organizing, organizing, and even more organizing. This place is such a shit show, it will take him ages before everything is how he wants it to be. Cal always teased him about having his socks color coded in his drawers.

He plops onto a fresh bed at the end of the day. This was Lorroakan's bed, but Cal and Lia helped him out with cleaning the room. New mattress, new sheets, new blankets, and even new pillows. They tore down the hideous tapestries and paintings he had, and he plans to change the wall into a new color. He still needs to personalize the room to how he likes, but now it was his. No trace of Lorroakan is found here. He idly wonders how Tav decorated their room, or if they have a home to go back to. They're still a mystery to him.

As he lays there, staring at the patterned ceiling, he finds it strange he has a room to himself. It's nice, and he's never had more privacy than now. Sometimes Lorroakan entered in his room at odd hours to start a lesson at his leisure. If he wasn't a light sleeper before, he is now due to the man's random visits. Now here he is, laying his bed, with his nights uninterrupted for the most part.

He has privacy.

...He’s pent up, isn’t he?

Through all the beatings and stress, he never took time to himself and get off. He was worried about getting caught by his mentor. On top of it all, he was too exhausted and hurt to even do much for himself, some nights barely having energy to bathe. But now…

With a sigh, he summons a mage hand to grab a book for him. When was the last time he read a smut book? Half a year, maybe more? Even then, he wouldn’t indulge too much as he never had a lot of privacy. With this large bedroom, the walls being silenced, and the time he now has, he will indulge for a little bit. For one night.

As he reads, there’s not much to go off. This one is poorly written, but he can at least give himself an idea. His mind sketches out a neutral form, no identifying…parts, yet. He’s indecisive, but he’s sure he’ll come up with someone satisfactory for the night.

Usually, his fantasies contain anonymous people with no face, or they wear a mask. It’s less embarrassing than thinking of someone directly. Sometimes they take him from behind, pinning the back of his neck to a table while they rail into him. Others he has someone under him, thrusting into them and littering bites on their neck.

For now, he imagines a person of no specific gender yet, holding him close in a crushing grip and devouring his mouth. It leaves him no room to breathe as he’s pinned to the wall, their thigh between his legs pressing up against his growing erection. Heat gathers south embarrassingly quickly, the tent of his pants tightening. What is Tav like in bed?

As soon as that question pops into his head, the blank person he tried to fantasize about turns into Tav. It shocks him how vivid it is, and he immediately sits up, book falling flat on the mattress as he drops it. No no no, absolutely not. They’re a friend.

A friend who pulled him in by the collar to kissed him with reckless abandon. A friend that was ready to pin him down on his desk. A friend who stroked a finger along his jaw to help him relax into their mouth.

Hells.

His fingers trail down his stomach and into his trousers, taking himself in hand. What’s the harm of indulging in this? They kissed, after all. All of their wonderful features are fresh in his mind. As he teases the underside of his shaft, he imagined it was their hand instead of his own. Precum was already beading at the tip, and he uses it to slick up his cock. He still feels their hands on him, pressing and demanding. He wonders what they would’ve done if they had more time. Are they gentle or rough when they stroke? He’s not sure whether he prefers one or the other yet.

None of this would happen, they have many suitors at their disposal. But damn it all, he could dream that they chose him, in the end.

Gods.

He covers his mouth tightly with his free hand, almost painfully as he thrusts up into his other one. This room is covered in silencing sigils, it’s not like anyone would hear him from the outside, but even he doesn’t want to hear his shameful sounds.

He feverishly switches to a different fantasy, this one containing Tav once more, though this time he isn’t complaining.

They’re both deep in the woods, away from the Tiefling party. They saved them all from the goblins, they deserved some compensation, did they not? Tav is pressed against his back, one hand putting two fingers in his mouth, rolling the muscle of his tongue between them while the other jacks him off. He’s utterly helpless, Tav taking control of his pleasure for him in the best ways as he helplessly grips the bark of a tree. They would tell him how good he was, how much they wanted him, how lovely his moans were. That he was handsome, strong, and worthy.

That they loved him-

Strings of white decorate his stomach, his climax coming with a stuttered gasp. It came more quickly than he thought it would, and his body spasms with how intense it is. The cry that climbs up his throat stops short by his hand.

He massages himself through it, feeling dazed and utterly pathetic. How dare he think about Tav in this way, as if they were an object for his pleasure? They’re not his, and he’s not theirs, no matter how much he wants to be. What would they say if they saw him like this, desperate and lustful even after his orgasm?

Gods, he wants them so badly, and he knows he can never have them.

Catching his breath, he feels disgusting. Filthy. He shouldn't think of them at all, he hasn't earned that right to them. It's pitiful.

To remedy his sin, he gets out of his bed and heads to the washroom. It's grand in comparison to his lowly basin in the shop, and he's unsure where to start now that he has access to it. Firstly, he takes out a Create Water spell scroll and casts it, filling the entire tub with water. He then modifies the Produce Flame spell to heat up the water. That will do for now, he'll figure out how to make the process a lot quicker later.

He takes off his soiled nightwear, stepping into the water with a slight hiss. All right, maybe he made it a little too hot, but it's nothing he can't handle. Lorroakan has burned him worse. As soon as he gets to the hip line, he pours lavender oil into the steaming water and sinks in completely. He's heard of the scent being beneficial for sleep, mostly from Tav. He wonders if they are an herbalist- no, no, he isn't supposed to be thinking about them.

Emptying his mind is proving harder than he thought. No thanks to his previous transgression, Tav's face plagued him. Questions pop up without him wanting them to: how does Tav look when flustered? Are they experienced with intimacy? Do they like pain? Are they sweet? What is their perfect date? How do they show their love-

He dunks himself fully into the water before the thought could finish, and he feels the sting of the hot water against his face as he sits under the surface. Finally, his mind is silent, so he holds his breath as long as he could. It's oddly soothing, just being alone under the water. A perfect escape to everything around him. He may just have to do this more often.

Unfortunately, he has not done any training to hold his breath, so he has to come up for air within thirty seconds. Perhaps he should practice, but that's for another time.

Now that his hair was thoroughly wet, he begins washing and conditioning his hair, giving himself a scalp massage while he was at it. He didn't trust the mage hands to do it for him. They were floating in the corner, waiting for a command. Can mage hands pout? It feels as though that's exactly what they're doing. Why are they so eager to help anyways? He should dismiss them when he has the time.

After dunking under the water again to wash out all the products, he exits the bath carefully, using Prestidigitation to instantly dry himself. Ah, what would he do if he didn't have that spell on hand? It is incredibly convenient. Can Tav use magic for mundane tasks?

He pauses as he slides on a robe. Gods damn it, it's happening again! That didn't last too fucking long, now did it?

With a groan, he marches back into the bedroom and towards the balcony, pushing the doors open. The night hair hits him immediately, sending a brief chill through him before calming. With a heavy sigh, he goes to the railing and leans against it, watching the silent city of Baldur's Gate. The lanterns have long burned out, and the stars are blooming above him, but he can't relax. He's desperate for Tav, and it's pitiful.

Pressing his forehead on the cold stone, he realizes what a miserable, selfish, wretched creature he is. After all of those things, he's somehow still hopeful. Why else would they kiss him like that? Is he reading too much into this?

Though, perhaps, instead of dwelling on unwanted thoughts, he should just let them go. Lia always did say he thinks too much. Cal mentioned it could be quite damaging on one's psyche.

So he lets the thoughts flow. All of the domestic ones and all of the lustful ones, too. He flickers through memories of he and Tav's interactions, thinking of what could have been and where he went wrong. The shouting, the aggression, the drinking. Gods, the drinking. He hasn't touched wine in a while because of it.

Then he lets it all go.

He raises his head, taking a deep, long breath of the fresh night air. He's in Baldur's Gate. They all made it. The Absolute's army is about to knock on their door, but just for tonight, at least in this moment, he's calm. He's okay.

Maybe he'll be okay later, too.

After an hour, he makes it to his bed and lulls himself to sleep, pulling up the thickest parts of the blanket to hold. It manages to lull him to sleep. A success, in Rolan's tired mind.

There's so much to do with so little time.

---

A tenday has passed and Tav has not returned.

It's for the best that they don't come, as they continuously plague Rolan's mind. He can't stop thinking about them, no matter how much he distracts himself. Most of them are lustful and depraved, some of which make him feel utterly ashamed. He has no right to think of them in this way.

Though, it's the other thoughts that confuse him the most.

They're domestically blissful. He imagines waking up in bed with them, nuzzling into their hair as they convince him to stay a few more moments. He imagines dates, lacing his fingers through theirs while telling them how stunning they are. He imagines it's their body that he pulls close late at night, and not a spare pillow he squeezes to his chest.

He hates these thoughts more than most, as it makes him silently grieve what could've been if he weren't such an arrogant prick. What if he was nicer to them when they first met? Would they have approached him a third time at the party and invite him to their tent? Embarrassingly, he's been losing more sleep than usual over the what if's, and it's making him sloppy with his work. Papers were scattered, he keeps losing his books, and ink stains have been appearing on his robes more and more lately. Unacceptable.

Is he truly this pathetic, losing sleep over domestic thoughts with someone unreachable? Is he that lonely? Does he crave company that badly? It is a wizard's curse, surely.

He thought he got over this, but it seems he needs more than one night to 'let go' of them. Damn it all, why can't this be easier?

He shakes his head, regaining his focus of the task at hand. Rearranging the scrolls once more, he stands onto his feet again and brushes the dust off of his robe. He proudly places his hands on his hips. Finally, after so many days, he has the counter exactly how he wants it. Everything is organized, not a speck of dust in sight, all of it is beautifully-

One of the doors slam open again by a gust of wind, and rage fills him to the core. Why, oh why are the gods so against him? Now there's dirt of the floor, he just made Krank sweep it all out!

The anger disappears instantaneously when he sees Tav rush through the door, sweat beading on their brow and their face flushes from exertion. Extremely similar to how they appeared last time-

Oh no.

As they rush past the counter to the same room they both in before, he starts following them without thinking. What in the hells was he doing?! This can only lead to something terrible for him, even if Tav would be none the wiser. Why does he torture himself like this? He finally has everything he could ever want, yet he greedy for more. For the one thing he can never hope to have.

But they need him, and he could never deny them.

He quickly enters the room after them, shutting the door on his way in. Thankfully this room is more presentable this time around, but he doubts Tav will notice it. They have never been one to look at the finer details. At least from what he has seen, it's not as if he spent much time around them. That thought makes jealousy swell in his chest.

"I need help again." Tav states, rustling up their clothes.

"I can see that," He sasses, but Tav is already pushing off the mantle that sits on his shoulders before pulling him into a kiss, hand fisting the front of his robes.

What has he done to deserve this punishment? Are the Gods testing him by dangling his one desire in front of him? They should know he's too weak to resist their touch.

He gasps into their mouth when they pin him to the wall, free hand grasping the back of his thigh. They easily put their leg in between his, which puts him in a daze. Is this truly an act if they would go this far, or are they testing his boundaries? The worst part about this is he never wants them to stop. He wants them to keep going and reduce him to a pitiful, breathless mess.

They're already succeeding in that, it seems.

When he feels them try to pry his teeth open, he lets them, tangling his tongue with theirs. The noise is so lewd in his ear, a blush immediately rising to his face at the intimacy of it all. He thought about this situation constantly, both through the actual memory and then to his fantasies. Though, fantasy is nothing compared to their real hand tracing the skin of his exposed neck, mapping out the dips and curves of his adam's apple. Images flash through his mind of them choking him, not to hurt, but to claim. He honesty hopes they would do so, but alas, their hand trails up to cup his jaw instead.

This action only made him more flustered, and while he doesn't understand why, he accepts it all the same and leans into their hand. No one has ever touched his face like this in many, many years. Usually it was hit or slapped, no thanks to his teacher. Even when their touch is as gentle as a dove, he can't help but flinch when their thumb strokes along his cheekbone. They pull away from the kiss, catching their breath with a question on the tip of their tongue.

As if the world is playing a joke, those same Flaming Fists burst the door open. They look surprised once again.

"Again?!" He shouts at them, bristling and baring his teeth.

"Do you fucking mind?" Tav yells after, giving them a hard-earned glare.

The Flaming Fists do not bother arguing again, turning heel and leaving the shop without another word. They look foolish, doing their walk of shame. At least they were quick about it, Rolan did not feel like giving them another lecture.

"How do you do, Rolan?" They tease, a hand still fisting his sleeve.

It is a miracle how he keeps his composure. "Well enough, I suppose. Now, as I said earlier, again?"

"There's a perfectly good explanation."

"Then?"

"They were assholes so I stole their money."

"I'm inclined to agree. They are quite intrusive in their searches. Though, must have you lead them here again? I just had Krank clean the floors of the shop from bottom to top!" He complains, running a hand down his face as he stabilizes his footing, "Now I'll have to command him to do it all over again. At least the bottom part."

"I know, I'm sorry to do this to you again. I can make it up to you!" The say quickly before taking a pause. "Wait, you reanimated Krank?"

"Despite being Lorroakan's, he still had his uses." He drawls, suddenly feeling trapped in their space. "Clearly weaponry is not the armors calling, so I have him clean the floors in the morning and at night. There hasn't been any complaints."

"It's animated armor, Rolan. It can't complain."

"I meant complaints from the customers, you absolute dunce!" He snaps and immediately regrets it, but Tav bursts out in a fit of laughter at his insult.

Never has he understood what was so funny about them being insulted. Does he look like a fool doing so? Are they laughing at him? He should be angry over it but he most likely deserves it.

"Well, I feel terrible for dragging you in here twice," They giggle, wiping a stray tear from their eye. "So I want to make it up to you."

"And how do you suppose you'll do that?" He challenges.

"Well, we already got the first part of it started, if you're interested." They tease, voice low.

Oh gods.

"We could take it further. I can feel your little friend down there, and I'm more than happy to help." They murmur in his ear.

A cold sweat hits him in that instant. This is his worst nightmare. He wants it, gods does he want it so badly, but if he accepts it there will be no turning back for him.

They attempt to cup his cheek but he turns his face away, gently pushing them.

“Rolan?”

“I can’t do this.” He says, unable to look them in the eye, but he feels the way they tense.

Before they can start apologizing, he continues, “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the Shadow-Cursed Lands, I think. I adore many things about you. But you keep holding me like this, kissing me, and it's starting to make me believe that there will be more than this, one day. When The Absolute is gone, and Baldur's Gate is safe, you would do me the honor of considering me as a...companion."

"Oh, Rolan..."

"I refuse to be a side piece, someone who will be at your beckon call whenever you're bored. You’re tugging at my heart as if it’s your plaything, and while I know you have not done this on purpose, I can't handle it anymore."

He exhales sharply, tilting his face up when he feels tears sting his eyes. "Please, do not torture me like this and just go. Leave."

When he’s met with silence, he swallows and blinks away the wetness of his eyes. He knew that he never had a chance, and that their affections were never real. How could his savior ever look at him like he looked at them? But that diversion of theirs was so wonderful, and for at least a temporary moment, he felt wanted. Desired.

Loved.

He knew he couldn’t continue. It is selfish of him and he would’ve been setting himself up for heartbreak.

Tav leans in close, eyes tender as they tilt his chin back down. “Rolan…I’ve been a fool. I thought I was being obvious.”

He finally can look at them in the eye. “What?”

They can't help but chuckle, but it is a good natured one, “I’m in love with you too, idiot. Why do you think I would keep seeing you in this way?” They ask, tucking some hair behind his ear. “I'm so sorry, I should have been more forward with you. I never meant to hurt your heart like this, you mean too much to me."

He must be dreaming, he has to be, but he can feel the of their body pressing against him. They want him too, and it makes his heart want to burst out of his ribcage. He isn't aware of the blush that rises in his face at their confession, making his already red skin grow crimson.

They carefully cup his face again, pressing their forehead against his, being mindful of his horns. "I'm sorry Rolan, truly. Could you ever forgive me?"

His adam's apple bobs with his swallow, but his face remains a stern look. "...Your apology seems genuine, and I forgive you."

"Well good, I was worried that I just fucked up my chance." They huff with a smile, gently pinning him against the wall once more. "Now, would you like me to try this again and kiss you?”

“Please.” He whispers instantly, tail coiling around their leg.

It was unclear who pulled in first, but what mattered is their hands were all over each other as they kiss fiercely. He felt one of their hands move back and grip the base of his tail. A pathetic whimper escapes his mouth, pleasure shooting up his spine. Tav happily nips his bottom lip in response before pulling away. “I want to see your bedroom, Rolan. Now.”

"As you wish." He responds breathlessly.

Using Dimension Door, he teleports the both of them to the top of the stairs of Sorcerous Sundries, pulling them through the portal and into the tower. This is a totally inappropriate use of one of his higher level spells, but his mind is in a sexually charged place. He'll chastise himself for it later.

His grip on their hand is tight, sweat gathering there as he teleports them again to the bedroom. It isn't customized to his liking quite yet, but it at least has the colors he wants. Deeper blues mixed with other calming colors to help him sleep. He doubts Tav is admiring the features with the way they pull him onto the mattress.

When they both settle in the bed, Tav quickly gets undressed, unclipping the armor and ripping off their under clothes in one fell swoop. Whatever he though their body looked like in his dreams, the real thing is so much better. Any little scar or texture change, he either wants to trace with his fingers or with his tongue. As they lay back and spread their legs, he reaches for them.

They gently smack his hand away when he tries to touch their chest, smirking. “No. You will sit back all pretty and watch.”

His mouth goes dry, surprised at the sudden command, but would he truly be a student of the Weave if he did not know how to listen to directions? He does as told, sitting back on his feet.

"Do you have oil in here?" They question.

"Right side, top drawer."

They crawl over and grab it, settling back into position as they drizzle the product onto their fingers. They make a show of it, too, playing with the substance between their fingers before their hand trails down in between their legs, locking eyes with Rolan.

He swallows as he watches them open themselves up, all for him. It sends his mind reeling with lust, and he’s still not allowed to touch. Torture, is what it is. They have him exactly where they want him, and he is not complaining one bit. Not in his wildest imagination could he have though of this scenario. It's incredible. They're incredible.

As they go on languidly slow, he starts feeling hot all over. His clothes feel too suffocating around his body, his trousers unbelievably tight. It takes everything in him not to palm his growing erection, biting a lip to stifle a small moan that threatens to escape his throat.

“I want to watch you take all those layers off, Rolan. It’s not fair if I’m the only one naked.” They demand, hooking their fingers inside of themselves and groaning.

He responds by finally taking off that mantle that sets heavy on his shoulders. They watch him unblinking as he instantly gets his robes off, seeing the tent in his smalls that expresses his want. It looks painful. He throws the robes, shoes, and smalls off somewhere in the room, his cock now in the cold air, leaking.

They smirk at the sight, now curling three fingers in with a long winded moan. “Gods, I can’t wait to have you in me. I bet you feel so good, look at that…”

Have they always been this good with their words? They always have in his pathetic fantasies, but the real thing makes him twitch in need. He wants to touch them, feel their skin against his in a blaze of pleasure.

Alas, he has to wait.

Finally, they take their fingers out of themselves and sit back up. “I’m ready for you.”

“I want to touch you, Tav.” He admits, fingers twitching on the top of his thighs.

They crawl over to him and sit in his lap, breathing hard as they wrap their arms around his shoulders. “You may.”

He takes some small amount of comfort in that they’re as hot and bothered as he is, watching their flushed face before they crash their lips into his own.

He whines into their mouth, his cock trapped in between their stomachs. The friction is positively divine and he already thinks he may be close with the way their fingers trace the ridges on his back. They're mapping them out, pressing against the wing impressions on his shoulder blades and then trailing them down his spine. As soon as they reach the base of his tail, they tug on it once more.

A gasp shudders out of him when they grind against him. “Tav, if you keep doing that, I won’t last much longer.”

They hum in approval, sucking a hickey into the base of his throat. “What if I promise to make you come again?”

“Tav, please—”

“Okay okay.” They relent, moving back a little to give him some breathing room.

They stay in his lap as they pull him in for another kiss, and he joyfully obliges. Their tongues dance as he gropes their chest, mostly wanting to feel the unique textures of their skin. They’re perfect, to him. He wishes they were some sort of god, because at least then he would have an explanation for his need towards them. This unrelenting desire that he has pleaded for every night when he dreamt of them.

He has so many dreams, one that wake him in a sweat and painfully hard in his trousers. He made a theory that indulging would help the process of forgetting his desires, but it seems as though his hypothesis was wrong. Dead wrong. His dreams of them only became more vivid, some tricking him into thinking it was real. He mourned when he woke up those mornings, wondering why the Gods were torturing him with their image, their body, their face, their laugh.

Hells, he hopes he's not dreaming right now, they feel too real. He can feel them biting and tugging his lower lip, so he concludes that they were, in fact, here with him. Making him feel so much better than his wildest fantasies. Their nails bite into the back of his neck as they briefly deepen the kiss, before pulling themselves away, a string of saliva connecting them. For at least a moment, he catches his breath.

With a solid push to his chest, he falls back onto the bed with a soft thump. He pushes himself back up onto his elbows quickly, breathing harsh. At first, he’s worried he screwed something up. Did his nails hurt their skin? He should have blunt them this morning. But then they straddle his waist and take hold of his drooling hard-on, ready to sink onto him. “Hold still.”

As they lower themselves, stars burst behind his eyes as he takes them fully, their walls squeezing around him so deliciously. He bites back a moan that tries to work its way up his throat. Squeezing his eyes shut, he manages to hold himself together when they seat themselves onto him.

“Gods, you feel so fucking good Rolan.” They moan, clenching briefly around him until they finally relax. They do a test grind, and he knows he's hitting all the right places within them with the way their eyes flutter.

“So do you.” He says breathlessly, a light sheen of sweat already decorating his skin, pupils blown wide as his tail flicks about. The appendage instinctively reaches for something to hold onto. Anything at all. In the end, he settles with wrapping his tail around their waist, keeping himself grounded. They smile down at him when they feel it squeeze them.

He tries to reach for for their sides shakily, but they are more put together in this moment, and much faster. They take his hands, lacing their fingers through his, and pin them each besides his head. He’s only met with a grin before they start riding him with reckless abandon, gripping his hands unbelievably tight.

A groan that trails off into a whimper escapes his throat, hips subconsciously thrusting up into their tight heat. It felt positively divine feeling their walls clench around him, purposely teasing. They’re grinning, even when they toss their head back and moan. He squeezes their hands for dear life, already losing himself as their skin meets his. “Ah— Tav—“

“That’s it baby, I want to hear you.” They pant, leaning down and kissing him soundly. He lets their tongue pry his lips with ease, begging for a taste.

“I won’t last if— gods—“ he cries against their mouth, toes curling in the sheets.

“I don’t care, let me feel you. I want it.”

He curses when they clench around him again, clearly wanting to milk him dry, but he manages to stave his orgasm off. At least for a little bit. This felt so fucking good, he never wants it to end. But with the way they roll their hips, he’s not going to last. He wishes he could have last longer, giving them their pleasure the way they deserve after all of their hardship. They saved him, saved his siblings, saved the tieflings. Twice. Then they saved him for a third time. They did not have to, they could've walked away and let him lay with his poor choices. They didn't, and he's never seen them more angry than when they saw his bruised face.

His stomach suddenly tightens, giving him that impending warning he knows all too well in recent days. “C—Close, I’m close—“ he rasps.

“Me too. Fuck, you feel so good love.” They murmur thoughtlessly.

That nickname teeters him over the edge, and Rolan came with a cry in his throat. Tav was not far behind, fluttering around him as they came as well.

They breathe hard, resting on top of him and letting go of his hands. They instead use them to hold his heated face and kiss him gently. With his hands free, he wraps his arms around their back to pull them closer. He’s spent, exhausted, but he’s never felt more content as he kisses them.

Before they both could feel uncomfortable, he murmurs the words of prestidigitation and cleans them up as they rise off of his softening cock. They plop next to him on the bed, smiling tiredly.

“You were amazing.”

He laughs at that, wiping sweat off of his face. “I should be saying that to you.”

“Then we’re both amazing, hm?” They tease, scooting closer to his side. "Where did you learn how to fuck like that?"

"Must you be so vulgar?" He exasperates with a groan, making them laugh, "But if you must know, I have done extensive research on the subject."

"Ooooh research! What, did you study anatomy books?"

He groans, covering his face with his hands.

"Wait a minute, you have a smut collection?! This I have to see."

"Absolutely not!" He shouts, his face, neck, and ears now a deep crimson.

They burst out laughing, and as much as he wants to chastise them for it, he ends up laughing with them. He's never felt so light before now, as if he's finally feeling relief for all the trouble he's been through.

Gods, he's truly in love with them, isn't he?

"I can go for a round two, if you're up for it." They say after calming down their laughter.

He snickers at that, pecking heir forehead. "As much as that sounds wonderful, you've exhausted me for the day."

"Then how about some cuddling? Karlach always said I give great hugs."

He hums, pecking their cheek next as they wrap their arms around him. "I think I would like that, very much."

Letting out a deep rooted sigh, he feel all the tension in his body finally leave him. He should be disgusted by all the sweat gathered around them in the aftermath of their activities, but in this moment, he wouldn't have it any other way. There's time to complain about it later. Perhaps he can show them the bath he now uses. Would they be impressed by it? It certainly is better than whatever they have going on in the Elfsong Tavern. He wants to do everything to impress them, make himself worth their while even with the chaos that is their lives. But for now, he's calm.

For the first time, Rolan felt truly free.

"Does Krank know how to clean bed sheets?"

Snorting, he looks at them again. "I haven't made him try. He's decent at mopping and sweeping...somewhat. Why?"

"Just curious. It's cute how you just have a little servant now, cleaning the place."

"Krank is not a servant, he is an employee of my establishment."

"You don't pay him!"

"That is not the point! He works, does he not?"

They laugh, pressing their forehead against his. "Fine, fine, but why not make him clean your room, including the sheets?"

"He will mess them up! I know how to properly smooth it out and make this room look highly presentable."

"Oh, I'm sure you do...anyways, do you have a bath in here? I stink and feel sweaty." He barks out a laugh, reluctantly getting out of their arms and shuffling off the bed. "I do, it's in the next room over."

When he offers his hand to them, they happily take it as he leads them to the side room. The large bath presents itself, though it is empty right now. He should figure out a way for it to be ready automatically in any time of the day, but he'll work out the kinks later. He wants to show them that his fingers have talent in ways they wouldn't comprehend. All of it in the form of a heavenly scalp massage.

#forest-writes #rolan x tav #rolan #bg3 rolan #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3 #rolanites #rolan brainrot

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sanjisboyfie · 8 months

Text

one piece smau: dating zoro edition

- slight nsfw images + wording , very slight

- male reader !!

liked by freeluffy, SUPERCOLA, and 10k others

rzs.[name]: muah smooch kiss 😚

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: i love u pretty boy

-> rzs.[name]: come home imy

-> [name]s_hubby: im gettin ur stupid biggie bag wait a second

dni_nami: STOP BEING HAPPY ON MY TL ‼️‼️‼️ I DIDNT ASK FOR TS esp from u two

-> rzs.[name]: btw nami i jus venmoed u for the snacks u bought for us at the movies

-> dni_nami: i wish u both nothing but happiness 🫶🏼 love u botthhhh

uso_pp: damn why he eatin u ... [name] u good??

-> [name]s_hubby: pls stfu u touch deprived idiot

liked by purrrona, rzs.[name], and 11k others

[name]s_hubby: why r ppl spelling gym "jim" that shit sound stupid as fuck

tagged: rzs.[name]

rzs.[name]: my favorite pillow <333

rzs.[name]: guys do u see how he tagged me :))) its cuz hes my boyfriend

rzs.[name]: pls tell me ur single plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspl

-> [name]s_hubby: i almost blocked u bc i thought u were a rando

-> uso_pp: smths tellin me this isnt the right answer ???

-> [name]s_hubby: mb i mean, yes i do have a boyfriend and am happily married to him

freeluffy: ZORO i beat ur pr 😈😈

-> [name]s_hubby: mf i know u didnt stop lying

princesanji: vomitted in my mouth xoxo

-> [name]s_hubby: the jealousy from this comment is crazy

liked by [name]s_hubby, princesanji, and 10k others

rzs.[name]: HES SOOOOO HOTTTT I MIGHT JUST START DROOLING

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: please do not start drooling i might break up w u

-> rzs.[name]: u practically started crying when i told u i had to leave the bed to go to school , i cant even jmagine if i broke up w you

-> uso_pp: his ass is not built to survive without u [name] pls dont break up w him for the sake of everyone else

randomgirl: happy for u ig ...

-> [name]s_hubby: im gonna block u from [name]s phone cuz hes too nice to do it himself foh w ur bullshit

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 100 others]

johnnybro: BIG BRO ZORO GOT THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND EVER

-> rzs.[name]: JOHNNNNYY zoro says he misses u

-> [name]s_hubby: i didnt but good to hear from u johnny and yes my bf is the cutest

liked by rzs.[name], [name]s_hubby, and 9k others

SUPERCOLA: zoros drunk ass couldnt even stand upright and [name] had to go on over there to sober him up

tagged: rzs.[name] and [name]s_hubby

robinkills: what even got him to come back to his senses? he was so drunk

-> rzs.[name]: i told him he would have to sleep on the couch unless he got serious

[liked by dni_nami, princesanji, and 57 others]

-> dni_nami: thats all it took??? wtf 💀💀💀

freeluffy: zoro is so funny 😂😂😂 he kept bumping into poles ans apologizing to them

-> [name]s_hubby: luffy delete this comment rn u have ten minutes.

rzs.[name]: i love my boyfriend 😇 even if hes so fucking stupid

-> SUPERCOLA: pls do NOT start beef in my comment section i was tryna show how cut u guys r as a couple not how stupid u both are

liked by rzs.[name], princesanji, and 17k others

[name]s_hubby: one day ill put a proper ring on his finger and then MAYBE just maybe bitches will stop tryna slide in his dms

tagged: rzs.[name]

uso_pp: it was cute until u threatened a whole population of people

-> [name]s_hubby: the issue is that theres a whole population of people tryna get w my bf, thats not my fault

dni_nami: zoro u almost had me fooled that u were being a SWEET bf for once

rzs.[name]: why not rn???

-> [name]s_hubby: shhh

princesanji: the caption couldve been smth great and then u ruined it

-> [name]s_hubby: and ur still single. so...

liked by dni_nami, [name]s_hubby, and 12k others

rzs.[name]: i was told to make it more obvious on my acc that i have a bf (even tho hes in all my posts) so pls stop dming me now ty

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: his username is literally "roronoa zoro's [name]" as in - IM RORONOA ZORO ... i need all of u to wake tf up

-> rzs.[name]: and my man!!! thank u to my man!!

dni_nami: if anyone knew u two in real life theyd know all u do is talk abt each other

uso_pp: the world if ppl were able to take a hint🌈✨✌️☮️🕊️

princesanji: i am begging all of u to actually stop dming [name] bc the amt of ppl is genuinely stressing zoro out and its making him act even more like an asshole to the rest of us. please spare us this treatment and leave them both alone

[liked by [name]s_hubby, rzs.name, and 120 others]

rzs.[name]'s story:

happy 2 yr anniversary, im so lucky to have you in my life

[name]s_hubby replied to your story: i hope i get to wake up next to you everyday, i love you so much please come home quick so i can show you pretty boy <3

#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱#one piece smau #one piece imagines #one piece x reader #one piece x male reader #zoro x reader #zoro x male reader #roronoa zoro x male reader #x male reader #zoro smau #roronoa zoro smau #zoro imagines #male reader #male reader imagines #modern one piece #roronoa zoro imagines #x reader

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diorsbrando · 3 months

Text

I’D DIE FOR YOU (AND I HAVE). ( s.a. )

sousuke aizen & black!fem!reader.

cw ━━ ! minors, blank and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. reader is portrayed as a black woman but you do not have to imagine her that way. using this map of the seireitei as a reference (i searched high and low for a consistent accurate one but it was hard). the first half is set pre-ryoka invasion / pre-soul society arc. the second half is aizen-centric (from his pov told from the 3rd person) and set post-tybw arc, years after he was sealed away in mugen, also including mention of events from vol. 1 of can't fear your own world (a light novel that's post-tybw & can be considered canonical); so all this being said: SPOILERS i guess???? of course you're welcome to read if you don't care about spoilers! somewhat based on 'die for you' by the weeknd & even more loosely based on 'dark red' by steve lacy. contains themes of heavy-ish angst, existential crises (?) & inner emotional turmoil within reader + aizen (separately). descriptions of character death, blood and violence. descriptions of manipulation/mind games. aizen is an unkind man. proofread (i did my best).

word count ━━ 11k

notes ━━ ! the way this fic was supposed to finished a month ago...but life once more gets in my way. and the way that it's this long....i anticipated the max being 10k but i greatly underestimated how long it would take to flesh out my idea. anywho i'm somewhat reentering my bleach era again. i’m not sure what it is but character analyses in the form of fanfiction is my jam rn like i really enjoyed writing this (i got tired of the length by like... 7k words lmao) but i like how this turned out. i've watched & read quite a bit of content that provide explanations as to why aizen is the way he is so i wanted to try my own portrayal of that in the context of canonical events. how i characterized him here is partially inspired by a fic i read about him last year so shout out to them for their support :D i hope i've depicted and humanized aizen well ♡. reblogs + commentary are heavily appreciated!!!!!

THE PAD OF YOUR THUMB SLOWLY glided against your bottom lip, the lingering aftertaste of jasmine tea still on its surface and on your breath. The absentminded motion of your thumb caressing your mouth, as if in deep contemplation, continued as you stared at the clock hanging on the wall above you.

It was past eleven, and the midnight hour only continued to draw near as time sustained its temporal march. And there you sat at your desk, floating in the limbo of your mind that was filled with hesitancy and admittedly, budding anticipation.

Your gaze lowered to the now empty porcelain cup, nothing remaining of its contents except the shriveled remnants of herbs and a few wayward drops of the brew.

Your senior comrade, captain Sōsuke Aizen, was correct in his prediction that you'd take a liking to its floral and delicate taste when he gifted you a jar full of the jasmine tea leaves as well as other ingredients.

The captain of Squad 5 seemed to be correct about a lot of things.

His intelligence and foresight, along with his kind and politely witty disposition, were qualities that you found somewhat charming, and gradually drew you closer to him.

Being the current third seat of the 9th company, your barracks and those of squad 5's were relatively close to each other's, so often you'd catch glimpses of and run into Captain Aizen on a pretty normal basis. Over the years, the conversations that bounced between the two of you expanded past the realm of formalities between a higher and lower ranking officer, and instead ranged in territories from literature, to art, to food & drink, and even to the politics of the government for which they were soldiers for.

Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that you managed to befriend a man like him. A man who seems to have mastered the balance between being a gentle soul, helpful to others, but also possessed enough refined power and skills to be named a captain within the Gotei 13.

Especially a man who wasn’t even of your own squad.

Despite the increasingly friendly relations and generally pleasant conversation, there were few moments where Aizen's words didn't feel quite. . . . real━ he didn't feel real. He spoke eloquently, often relying on figurative language to further illustrate his point and to breathe meaning into seemingly plain and meaningless words. But at times those words, his tone felt stained; stained with some substance or color you couldn't quite place. An enigmatic façade was painted over his speech, and it took too much mental capacity to try and find your own meaning in it.

So you'd often brush it off. Your over-reliance on your own reasoning that 'you weren’t able to come to a conclusion because there is no problem a conclusion could be generated from' successfully quieted your mind’s voice. You'd also frequently blame exhaustion, or your newfound hobby of watching human psychological crime shows during your off days for these subconscious ideas you had.

But you feared that the request Aizen made of you yesterday, the source of your current predicament, couldn't be blamed on any of those things. You looked at the clock again before returning to stare at your empty tea cup. For what reason could Sōsuke Aizen wish to meet you outside of the 1st division barracks? Specifically at this hour? You immediately thought of his question as uncharacteristic of him but prevented yourself from jumping to any further conclusions.

Aizen was a reasonable man, and you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.

With a final sigh of acquiescence, you stood up from your sitting position to retie your yukata before slipping a thicker, dark colored haori on top. You were unsure how cold it was this late at night or how long you'd be out, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

You paused for a moment, glancing longingly at your vanity mirror a few times, clearly torn between a decision, before giving in with a soft groan. Grabbing your favorite perfume, you quickly spritzed the spray onto both your inner wrists, either sides of your neck, and stray areas on your clothes. You’d proceed to make sure your hair was in order and your lips were as moisturized and glossy as a pair of tear-filled eyes before making your way to the door and slipping on your sandals.

Meeting with a captain— with Aizen of all people— in the dead of night resembled too closely to forbidden lovers rendezvousing under a fruit tree to fulfill their desires of embracing one another, with no one but the moon as their witness. The comparison alone caused the apples of your cheeks to burst aflame with embarrassment, and you lightly chastised yourself for even indulging in such an inappropriate train of thought. Such a scenario seemed far too deluded to even be considered ‘wishful thinking’.

But those delusions still seemed to make more sense than whatever other conclusion you have yet to reach.

Making your way out of your personal quarters, you activated your shunpo technique, stealthily hopping from one rooftop to the other in an effort to make it to Squad 1 barracks quicker.

After several minutes, your mind mostly engulfed with the 'what if's', the soles of your sandals finally touched ground, and you stood a few feet away from the massive walls and bridges that connected to and from the barracks. Even at night you were able to make out the bold-printed kanji for the number 1 that was painted on the building.

When you arrived, even from a nearby rooftop, you didn't see anyone around. Feelings of confusion and worry began to creep up and flicker to life in your mind.

But, as if your thoughts were as audible, you felt a light breeze of wind behind you, a familiar sound that indicated someone had made their presence known.

Startled, you reflexively reached for your zanpakuto, when you remembered that you hadn't even brought it with you. It still laid against the wall near your bed, just where you placed it earlier when you were relieved of your duties for the day.

You didn't think you needed it necessarily if you were just going to meet with Aizen, hence why taking it with you slipped your mind.

The flickers of concern were swiftly extinguished as your brain caught up with your body upon realizing who just appeared. A relieved sigh left your lips, a breath of air that seemed to release all the tension that had a grip on your heart and wound tight within your muscles. "Ah! Good evening Captain Aizen. You caught me off guard for a moment there."

"My apologies, that was not at all my intention." The Fifth Division Captain sported a dark colored scarf, his long captain's coat and the standard shihakushō all Gotei officers were supposed to wear. In the sash around his waist resided his own sheathed zanpakuto. His tawny hair maintained its usual part but looked slightly tousled, yet still remaining so in a meticulous fashion that made it look intentional.

The state of his hair alone, and his current facial expression made Aizen look more . . . approachable if that’s how you were to describe it. There was a glint in his eyes that you had seldom seen before.

"Thank you, for making your way down here to accommodate my rather. . . . atypical request. I again extend my apologies if I have inconvenienced you in any way."

You shook your head in reply, "It's alright, I wasn't doing anything too important anyway. Just having a cup of tea and delighting myself in a book before bed."

You glanced downwards at the foot or so of space that was wedged in between the two of you. You forced away the murmurs of your lingering thoughts that took note of how the moonlight and shadows danced across the surface of Aizen's face just right, and emphasized his decidedly handsome features.

"But having a complete and good night's rest is important to be fully functional in all areas of one's performance. Wouldn't you agree?"

You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yes, I do agree with that sentiment."

Aizen all but hummed in acknowledgement, letting a moment of silence fill the air before speaking again.

"Shall we be on our way?"

You nodded in agreement, following him as the both of you walked about the First Division grounds. From what you could tell based on your position, your aimless nightly stroll drew you closer to where Sokyoku Hill was located. The area became increasingly more grassy and contained less buildings.

Although Squad 1 grounds weren't terribly far from either of your barracks, you still weren't sure as to why Captain Aizen wished to meet out here. Initially you thought that perhaps he was just fond of this particular scenery, but really it could have been anything.

But still, you believed Aizen always had a purpose for everything he did.

After several moments, his warm voice replaced the evening silence, vocalizing your current thoughts. “I assume you are contemplating why it is I have asked you here, and I’m afraid the reason is quite benign. Truthfully, I just wished for your company. I often go on night walks to clear my head after a long day and thought I might invite you to join me this time, and have a conversation with each other."

Your brows shifted upwards, for that was not quite the answer you were expecting. It seemed too . . . simple. “Really? You just . . . wanted to talk with me? Plainly?”

The Squad 5 captain let out a short, soft laugh at the disbelief that was painted on your face. There was an expression of fondness present in his eyes and in the light smile he offered you. “Yes, exactly. I quite enjoy our discussions actually, they’re intellectually stimulating and relatively pleasant. You crossed my mind, and before yesterday, it has been quite some time since we’ve had the opportunity to unwind and talk.”

You hummed an mhmm in agreement, tearing your eyes away from Aizen’s side profile in favor of the hem of his captain’s haori, watching how it danced in the soft breeze. It seemed to be less distracting than the way Aizen peered down at you from time to time.

"I see. I am. . . . truly flattered by your words, Captain Aizen; you're too kind. Forgive me for asking but," you took longer strides so that you could fall into step next to him━ as if to speak to him more directly, "Why at this time? To talk with me, I mean. It couldn't wait until more . . . . . conventional hours?"

He chuckled again, and answered as smoothly as if he were awaiting you to ask him that. "Unfortunately, today's tasks ran a little long today, so I had to stay at my office later than usual." The spectacled man paused for a moment, before setting his soft gaze on you, "And besides, that completely defeats the purpose of inviting you on a night stroll, doesn't it?"

You ignored the heat flaring up in your cheeks again. Your mind refused to move past the fact that you had crossed Sōsuke Aizen's mind enough times━ or the times that he thought about you were significant enough━ and highly enough to invite you into his realm and indulge in these moments with him, when he very much could have done that alone.

A tender smile appeared on your lips, more towards yourself than the man next to you. "I. . . suppose it does."

The ashen-white moon only rose higher in the sky, providing an ambiance of tranquility as the both of you talked about whatever crossed the surface of your minds. Other times, the stillness of the night did the talking, and you'd listen to the leaves, and the wind, and the crickets sing together in harmony. Gradually as you walked and the beaten path grew more narrow, your figures drew closer together, until you could feel the long sleeves of his haori brush against your own.

You hadn't noticed that the two of you eventually stopped walking and paused under a tree until Aizen struck up conversation once more. When he called out your name in that gentle, velvety voice, you swore your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The sound of your name rolled of his tongue so smoothly, the desire to hear it again grew within you.

"Uh━ yes, Captain Aizen?"

"Are you satisfied with way things are at the moment?"

You stood next to him, perplexed at his inquiry due to its vague nature. "Um, what. . . . things? I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking."

The wind brushed Aizen's dark ochre tresses across his face as he took a step towards you, like the breeze itself was pushing him towards you. "Hm, perhaps I should be more clear then. Are you content with being a soul reaper? Are you satisfied with being a soldier for the Soul Society?"

With your brows slightly furrowed in thought, you remained silent for several seconds and overanalyzed his every word, trying to predict where he might be steering the conversation now. The longer you thought it over, the stronger that nagging feeling from within your soul became. The one that often told you what he was asking wasn't exactly . . . it didn't quite feel . . . . .

"This feels like a prelude to another insightful discussion on Shinigami━ and by extension━ Seiretei politics." Your words cut off your own thoughts, as if your mind was trying to sweep something under the proverbial rug.

Aizen huffed in amusement, before lightly shrugging, leaving your statement definitively unanswered.

You sighed as you seriously considered his question this time. "I mean sure, I guess. I'm somewhat satisfied with my job and all of . . . this," gesturing your hands in the air around you to emphasize your point. The 5th Division Captain made another humming noise, indicating that you still had his full attention. He inched a little closer into your personal space.

The mere action caused your next words to die in your throat and a quiet chuckle resounded from his, before your thoughts revived themselves again.

"Of course things could always be better but. . . . y'know. This is just how it is." You weren't quite sure if you should voice negative opinions about the Soul Society so plainly to a senior officer, even if he was the one who asked you in the first place, so you treaded lightly.

The same plainly relaxed smile from earlier remained painted across his lips, held in his chestnut irises was an emotion akin to affection. He seemed somewhat pleased that you were expressing your thoughts with him.

“And you? Are you satisfied, Captain Aizen?” You were unable to keep the teasing endearment out of your tone as you returned his gaze, casting aside the notions of Gotei officer seating and ranks for the moment. The air seemed like it shifted━ towards what, you weren't sure of━ but it kind of made you feel like you were adrift, floating in isolation from everything else around you.

It was still hard to process that you were alone with Captain Aizen right now. . . . at night.

A low hum reverberated within his chest, contemplative in nature as he replied, “Perhaps.”

The wind whistled lowly again, erecting goosebumps on whatever part of your skin happened to catch the midnight breeze. You fought the instinctual urge to twitch towards the nearest source of heat, which happened to be Aizen. Now that would be even more wholly inappropriate than the 'lovers meeting at midnight' scenario.

The silence between the both of you was brief, but comfortable nonetheless. Once more his mellifluous voice cut through the quiet, leveled and calm, like still ocean waters.

“Come. I want to show you something,” Aizen reached his arm out towards you, your spine as straight as if someone stuck a metal rod dipped in ice water down your robes.

The captain's movements seemed steady and slow━ it had felt like time itself had hesitated for several moments. You thought he was going to . . . . well you weren't sure what he was going to do, and that's what you made you nervous.

Was he going to touch you? Cradle your cheek? Remove a stray leaf that happened to land on your head? You were left somewhat dangling in anticipation, not daring to flinch backwards because you felt it would be disrespectful or offensive. You hadn't even blinked, subconsciously fearing that this was only a very vivid daydream.

But alas, when his arm drew near it extended past your head, slightly above you, and held a small branch in his palm it like a delicate flower. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, but that breath drew short again when your gaze was eye level with his lower neck and chin.

He seemed . . . . closer.

“I think that regarding the condition of the Soul Society," Aizen began in a quiet voice, referencing his own reply to his earlier question, "and therefore my thoughts about it, is akin to this set of leaves on this branch."

Snapping out of whatever stupor you seemed to have slipped in, you exhaled softly before stepping back a bit to look at what he was talking about. In his palm he cradled a wayward branch that grew from one of the other sturdier branches of the tree. The green foliage of its arms had started to weaken and dull in color. The cold air due to the seasonal transition to autumn caused the leaves become brittle, nearing closer to the edge of death.

The sound of just how brittle they were resounded in the air when Aizen thumbed the leaves in between his fingertips, observing their texture with pity laced in his small movements.

"These leaves will fall off as it gets colder. And soon, the rest of this tree will be bare as well. When the time comes, when the right circumstances fall into place, the old die to make way and usher in the new; it's simply the way things are. I think of the Soul Society government is structured in a similar manner."

You hung onto his every word, like he were imparting crucial wisdom to you. Even though you were a bit confused on the last part, and on the connection between dying leaves and Soul Society, you still listened intently, waiting for him bridge the gap between the two.

"The Soul Society as it is now can be thought of as a season. And this particular season, this climate has remained so for several centuries. How can nature continue━ how can we continue to progress when the old have yet to be washed away by the currents of time? It defies that of nature, yes?" He directed this question at you specifically, in search of your agreement.

You nodded your head, tearing your gaze away from the branch and directed it at the grass beneath your feet. Your brows furrowed a little as you mused over Aizen's words. He gave a rather ambiguous answer before but now, his words sounded like vague displeasure and muted criticism. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, and on some fronts, you'd sometimes agreed with the 5th Division Captain. The Soul Society was far from perfect, too much emphasis on nobility and status, the government resembled too closely to an oligarchy . . . But you didn't━ wouldn't voice these thoughts, though.

Instead you hummed quietly under your breath. There was that tugging sensation again. This time it told you that there was something deeper to this conversation than meets the eye. But what could there be? Was there anything at all or were you just overthinking it?

The voice-like sensation in your soul was calling out to you, but you couldn't hear it that well or quite make out what it was saying. It's as if someone was calling out to you in a crowded room that had music playing on the speakers: you felt like if you listened hard enough you could make it out but ultimately, the result would fruitless.

"And when that happens," Aizen continued, "sometimes nature has to be gently nudged back on track to keep things moving smoothly. That may require . . . shaking the tree. Pulling a few harmful weeds from one's garden, so to speak."

"Weeds?" You echoed. You felt like you understood this analogy and therefore what he was trying to say, but at the same time you didn't. Or was it . . . . you didn't want to understand what he was implying?

Because if you were interpreting his words correctly, if he were inconspicuously comparing the higher-ups and the government itself to dying leaves and harmful plants that needed to be removed, then . . . .

"You, dear child, are a mere weed in this scenario."

Wait, what did he just━

Your thoughts were cut short when a gush of air that smelt strongly of Aizen━ warm oak, vanilla, and a kind of musk that you weren't sure how to describe but was still pleasant all the same━ brushed against your face and took you by surprise.

But there was another aroma that arose, steadily becoming more apparent alongside the increasingly painful throbbing feeling you felt in your abdomen.

It smelt metallic. And it was something that you've smelt all too many times before.

It was blood.

Your gaze that was initially narrowed in confusion lowered as it followed the source of this pain. Your eyes slowly widened in as you struggled to comprehend the blade that was currently ran through your torso.

Aizen's blade.

"Actually, instead of weeds, a more accurate and befitting analogy perhaps would be blades of grass. You unfortunately have to step on them in order to reach the weeds you want to remove."

You couldn't really focus on what the captain was saying, because your brain was still struggling to process what the hell just happened. Your hands slowly rose from their sides and shakily grazed the zanpakuto, wanting to believe that if you touched it, it would pass right through your fingers like mist. But no, the sensation of cold steel was as real as the robes you wore on your back. You only just now are processing the muffled squelching sound of his sword impaling your flesh.

You wanted to scream, to cry in pain, to vomit, to push him off━ something. But all you could do was stand there, stunned, words completely failing you. "Wh. . . . what? Why did . . . . you . . . . "

A cough replaced your attempt at a comprehensive sentence, and you tasted iron in your mouth.

Fuck....was this really happening?

"Please don't push yourself trying to talk," His voice was like an index finger to one's lips, similar to a parent's gentle caress to quiet and sooth their child, "You'll only hasten your death. And I'm sure you wish to know the reason for my killing you, yes? You'd have to be alive for that."

'Killing me?' 'My death?' The certainty that rang in his words chilled the blood in your veins, and they confirmed the one conclusion you hoped wouldn’t come true: that you were going to die.

The frigid embrace of fear and dread engulfed you from behind and you shivered, causing the blade snugly lodged in your organs to shift. The pain of that foreign object moving even a little bit shot through your entire body, causing a groan to emerge from your throat.

Desperate to conserve your energy and the oxygen that was becoming a little harder to take in, your breathing became uneven and a little wheezed. Even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet the gaze of Captain Aizen to confirm if this was really happening or just an extremely realistic and vivid nightmare. The sight you might be greeted with could be more frightening than the actual impaling of his sword.

As if his betrayal couldn’t actually or figuratively cut you any deeper, just then there was a noise that grew louder and louder within a matter of seconds until it was almost deafening. You’ve distinguished it to be the sound of glass crackling.

Your surroundings formed cracks everywhere on its surface, like it was just an oversized window. Even on the grass you stood on, or what you thought was grass, began to crumble away.

A dumbfounded but panicked look was plastered on your face when your world literally shattered around you, the only remnants of it being you and the Captain.

What was underneath the mirage━ or you should say, the fact that it was a mirage at all━ only disturbed you and increased your perplexity.

Slightly hunched over and breathing heavily, it took a minute to process where you were, but you noticed that now the two of you stood in a formal room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The lights in the room slowly started to brighten, most likely due to motion sensors. Even with Aizen's scent lingering in your nose, you could still pick out a rather stale aroma that hung in the air like dead fruit that hadn't fallen off the tree.

"Is . . . this Cen . . . tral━ "

"You are correct. Where we currently stand is the assembly hall for Central 46, the judicial power of the Soul Society. All judiciary as well as legislative trials and proceedings are held here."

All around the room were seats with partitions, the kanji for 1 through 46 printed on them. In the seat for the 19th member, your gaze caught onto something on the translucent barrier. It was a little farther up so you had to squint your already blurring vision to see it properly.

You saw, and your heart promptly sank as a result, eyes widening once more.

There were splatters of a dark colored substance on the partition━ undeniably blood. And the lithe, bony fingers of an older man laid lifeless, peeking out from the side of the screen like the appendages themselves were trying to escape from the body they were attached to.

That man . . . was dead. That stale aroma you smelt was the stench of death.

It was only after that unsettling epiphany did your eyes dart frantically around the room and realize that every member of Central 46 was dead.

The disturbed expression on your face only intensified as your stare was pulled back down to where Aizen's blade still resided in your body.

" Cap.....Aizen," you uttered, swift to correct yourself. All the moisture in your throat dried up like water underneath the unrelenting rays of the sun. You kept gulping your saliva in an attempt to assuage the sensation, but relief only last for a fleeting few seconds. "Did you ━ you killed them . . . didn't you?" Your question was laced with shaky hesitance and swelled with apprehension, fearing that you already knew his reply even before he answered.

There was a moment of silence and a hum before he replied. "Smart girl."

The muted mirthful tone in his voice sounded like sarcasm, and it was enough to finally draw your attention away from everything else and directly look at him. Almost instantly, you regretted it.

His umber tinted gaze was colder than you remembered. You couldn't find anything in his eyes that hinted that all of this was just a big misunderstanding, or a dream, or that Aizen had a secret sense dark and complex humor.

This was your first, and apparently your last time, that you have ever felt a fear such as this. Your mind was struggling to comprehend this was the same Aizen that spoke with you so gently, full of encouragement and wisdom. The same man that recommended you books to read and gifted you tea to drink and gazed upon you like . . .

Well, none of that mattered now. In this moment, Sōsuke Aizen wasn't the same man anymore. This Sōsuke Aizen was someone else, and it frightened you.

"When?" you croaked, your voice no longer sounding like your own. Nothing felt real anymore. "W-When did you . . . . . how? Why?"

Another noncommittal hum resounded from the spectacled man as he closed his eyes, feigning the action of thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, his narrow gaze returned to you.

"Everyone in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads was previously aware that the ability of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu, allowed me to confuse the enemy using bodies of water, mist and even moisture in the air in order to attack. However, that is not my zanpakuto's actual power; there is more to it than just simple confusion. Kyoka Suigetsu's true power is Complete Hypnosis. Essentially, when someone looks at my blade, I am then able to take control of that person’s five senses, causing them to believe that something is real ━ or that something isn't real. In a way, once glancing at my unsheathed zanpakuto, that person forfeits their sense of existence to me. Kyoka Suigetsu is quite flawless in its deceptive abilities."

A heavy silence, aside from your uneven breaths, endured in the space between both of you. You didn't need him to spell out what he was trying to say.

It was all . . . . an illusion. A convoluted, premeditated illusion. And you walked right into it without even knowing or considering, that it was all fake.

The Fifth Division Captain inwardly smiled at the despair clearly written on your face as he watched you mentally put the pieces together. He took your lack of reply as a sign to continue. "The members of Central 46 have unfortunately been dead for quite some time now. And as for your question of why......"

The taller man stepped towards you which inadvertently (or purposely, you began to fear), drove his sword deeper into your abdomen without warning and slight force. You bit down on your bottom lip hard to stifle your exclamation of pain. In an attempt to somehow resist him, with the little strength you had left, your hands automatically took purchase in his oversized sleeves, but it did nothing. You found it ironic that you could feel how warm Aizen was underneath his robes, but his soul was anything but.

" . . . . I believe I already mentioned it earlier, yes? All flowers die eventually and the weeds......must be removed."

At that moment you remembered that tugging sensation that told you something felt off in some instances whenever you talked with Aizen. This must have been what it was. Damn it all. You still didn't understand exactly what bad things Central 46 and the Soul Society have done to cause his actions, but based on what you've been told and your current position, it must have been heinous. Again, you actively swallowed the urge to vomit.

"You . . . you lied. I can't believe━ how could it have all b-been a lie?" Another nasty cough rattled your body, followed by a shiver and a groan.

The brown-haired man slightly tilted his head, like he was truly confused. "Lied? Hmm, well. I suppose you could put it that way based on your limited knowledge of the circumstances, but I wouldn't put it that way. Besides, this isn't really about truth or lies. It is, and always has been, only about the reality of what is. And what is, is that you were unable to anticipate my deception. No one could, because it was outside the domain of your thoughts. What is, is that the current way the Soul Society operates is tainted, and I shall be the one to remedy it."

You drew another shuddering breath and looked down at the ground with a grim expression as your blood continued to pool at your feet. Briefly, you even considered unsheathing yourself from his blade and take the chance to make a run for it, but the chances of you making it to the outside world, let alone coming across someone before you bled out and died were slim. Besides, it was clear that you couldn't even trust your own senses anymore after Aizen demonstrated that he had complete control of your reality.

Which reminded you of something else.

" . . . when?" you asked the same question again, but much quieter than before, despair palpable in your voice. 'When and how did you subject me to your zanpakuto's Complete Hypnosis?', is what you were really asking. And being as intelligent as he was, the spectacled man understood.

Abruptly, with a large palm on the small of your back, Aizen used his gentle hold grip to pull you towards him in order to close the remaining distance, causing him to drive the remaining length of his zanpakuto all the way through until the tsuba of his blade rested against your stomach. You looked like a skewered piece of meat.

You didn't have the willpower to hold back the piercing shriek of agony and physical anguish as tears sprung forth from your eyes. You could no longer tell if your blurry vision was due to your tears obstructing your sight or if it was from being a step away from death's door.

"Do you remember . . . the first time we met?"

The hand that rested on your lower back slowly glided upwards until his fingers found your jaw. With a tenderness that reminded you of a time before his betrayal, he lifted your chin and guided your gaze to look at him directly. His thumb moved to graze your bottom lip just as you've done mere hours ago━ as if he knew that, as if he watched you do it. His thumb was dangerously close to slipping inside your mouth and that both excited and scared you. Your breasts against his, your breaths synchronized with his, your body and his were fully pressed against each other and it made focusing on his question more difficult.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first time . . . we met? Sure, with a little bit of effort you could easily recall the first time you formally met Aizen. It was sometime in the spring, and you remembered him running through combat formations with his lieutenant and the rest of his squad. But why d━

A silent gasp left you. Another epiphany, another figurative blade piercing your heart.

Battle formations, and he . . . offered you to join them . . . his zanpakuto . . . . .

Confusion crumbled away, and was replaced with vacant horror and sadness. It seems you've already been defeated, for many, many years now.

Aizen seemed to murmur something under his breath, a pleased sound you couldn't quite decipher. His mouth brushed over yours, rendering you literally speechless, before he closed the distance and brought your lips together. You could barely process what was happening.

It was ironically tragic how soft and skillfully gentle his lips were against yours. The kiss felt longing, like a departure between two sweethearts and their last meeting together. It also felt heavy and final, making you want to cry.

And you did. Silent tears streamed from your eyes and rolled onto the fingers that still held your face so affectionately. The captain reacted by guiding your chin up a little further, dipping his head a little lower, so he could deepen the kiss. You weakly scorned yourself for thinking about how the two of you must really look like lovers now, sans the sword sticking out from your back.

Oh, how cruel this was; how cruel he was. It was cruel for him to kiss you like this, hand still splayed on your back like he needed to touch you stay sane. And how cruel it was that still managed to enjoy it, even as you stood there dying. Your lips moved together in tandem, slow and almost passionate, all while tears stained the apples of your cheeks, drying up the plush youth that once resided in them.

Aizen's tongue had slithered its way into your mouth, and you suddenly felt like crying harder. There was a tart, sweet flavor lingering on his tastebuds, and you absently wondered what is was. Perhaps hibiscus from tea, you surmised. And he too tasted the sweet jasmine and citrus that clung your tongue and lips. At this, he chuckled quietly into your mouth, humming before retracting from you by a few inches so he could speak.

"I knew you would like the tea. It's sweet and flavorful, isn't it?" You hated how low his voice was, how its timbre pleasurably vibrated and rumbled against your lips, and you hated that lidded stare he gave you. You again thought it unfair that you couldn't even revel in the rare sight of Aizen's lips slightly wet because your lips were intertwined with his.

"I have to thank you for humoring me and my recommendations. I really appreciated it. And I also," you winced loudly and cried out in affliction as Aizen finally began to withdraw the sword from your body, "must to bid you farewell now. It seems you don't have any more time left, and this has dragged on for longer than it needed. I'm not surprised you've held out for this long, as I already knew you possessed commendable strength. But alas it wasn't enough. I am sorry that you have to die; it's rather regrettable that you happened to be that blade of grass that ended up underneath my foot."

Another wail was yanked from your chest as he steadily removed his sword from your abdomen. The pain was becoming excruciating, you would have collapsed by now if the taller man weren't holding you.

You saw two things before the light in your eyes had all but faded away. The first were the colors of faux pity and apathy that swirled in Sōsuke Aizen's irises, spiraling like a storm that was certain to wreak havoc in its wake. His gaze was devoid of any regret or remorse; the final metaphorical nail on the coffin. The second was a small smile.

But this wasn't one of his smiles you were familiar with. No wait . . . . the one you knew was simply a veneer of what is.

This smile was slanted, the corners of his lips tilted upwards and was sharp. Sharp enough to cut open your already gaping wound further and completely tear you apart, spelling out your demise. It looked insidious as if it were hiding razor-edged fangs. This was what is; Aizen's real smile.

"I. . . I see. Aize. . . ." were the last words you were able to manage. You didn't have the strength to be upset or hurt any longer, so you gave in to the exhaustion.

Your body permanently relaxed, long lashes veiling your now empty eyes as your arms lifelessly dropped to your sides. The captain found a disturbing amount of pleasure in his name being the final word you attempted to speak before succumbing to the sleep of death.

And even after the fact, the facade of doomed, star-crossed lovers persisted as your body slumped backwards. Aizen's strong forearm wrapped tightly around your waist being the only reason you didn't fall to the ground in a puddle of your own blood.

That day was the last anyone saw of you, your zanpakuto still laid idly in your room, its spirit destined to forever wander in the afterlife between worlds alone, eventually fading from existence without ever feeling the presence of its master again.

They had declared you missing by the end of the next day. Lieutenant Hisagi was probably the most perturbed about your sudden disappearance. Days, weeks passed, and they never located you. The Gotei 13 was left unsettled by the lack of progress, but ultimately had to rule your case inconclusive. Some believed that you were simply killed by a stray hollow, or even ran away from your duties because of the stress.

The news of what happened spread like wildfire across all the squads, that a high-ranked officer just up and vanished without a trace. The spirits and morale of the thirteen companies dampened, sorrow and worry swelling like a festering boil.

And that boil burst when Ryoka infiltrated the Soul Society, and when it was revealed that all of it was carefully orchestrated by Sōsuke Aizen.

Like a blade of grass that somehow snuck into one's sandals or in between their toes, during his time in Hueco Mundo, images of you flashed in his head at unexpected times when his mind was quiet. He'd remove the grass, tossed you aside, and moved on with his day. There was no room for you in the grand scheme of things. Such reminisces were beneath someone like him.

And yet.

He'd always find another piece of grass from the greenery he stepped on whenever he advanced a step in his plans. There you were again.

It was common knowledge that if you kept repeating the same action over and over, it will eventually wear you down.

━━━━━━ 鏡 ━━━━━━━

It was dark, and there was nothing.

There had been nothing for quite a long time now. Utter darkness and the abyssal shade of black engulfed every inch of Aizen's body and surroundings.

He saw nothing, the seals over his eyes too opaque to let anything through. And even if they weren't obscuring his vision, he would barely be able to see three feet in front of him; there was seldom a few lanterns in his cell to begin with. He felt nothing but the bindings that kept him imprisoned in one of the deepest pits of the Seireitei. At times it felt like even his internal organs had stilled in their functions. He heard nothing but the unrelenting quiet of his cell within Mugen's maw. The only thing that served as proof that he hasn't spontaneously grown deaf yet was the occasional muffled noise that originated from outside of the entrance. And even then, he could hardly hear much of anything.

Such is an ironic fate for someone who, with a stray thought and a glint of his blade, could control someone's senses and take away their free will to experience those senses in their reality. And now, he was stripped away of all of his in nearly every capacity.

Sōsuke Aizen was rendered stationary and stagnant, qualities he detested and were the antithesis of his ambitions and plans, perhaps even his existence.

Aizen had always believed in being in control of your own destiny and making your own choices; if you had the opportunity and the power to change something━ especially if it was something that was wrong, unfair or immoral━ then one should be able to move towards that goal by making change, even if by force. The former captain had always been intentional about his actions and his desires right from the start.

And yet, here he ended up.

Spending years strapped to a chair in this dark, cloistered hole, Aizen had nothing but time to reflect the reason for his arrest: that orange haired Ryoka boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He had nothing but time to admit to himself and settle on the conclusion that his last battle with the substitute Shinigami . . . did something to him.

Fighting the Ryoka boy ignited something inside him that he previously believed would forever lay dormant.

The thrill of a challenge.

Adrenaline was injected into his veins with each clash of their swords, spreading far and wide across every inch of his body. It no longer reacted in the measured, calculative manner he had programmed it to, but with unadulterated, pure instinct and raw power━ all in an effort to not only withstand such potent spirit energy from his opponent, but to come out on top and win.

It made him feel alive.

Aizen's desire to be the victor in battle and in his philosophy━ to prove himself right━ both fueled him and consumed him so thoroughly it led to his own downfall. That was a rather difficult fact to acknowledge; so much so his head started to pulsate intensely whenever it crossed his mind one time too often.

All of it unfolded right in front of his eyes and yet . . . he didn't really see it happen.

As time passed during his perpetual incarceration, with hooded eyes, the former captain spent an unfathomable amount of time tossing and turning every single event that led him to this underground prison, even pondering his temporary release by the Head Captain Kyōraku to fight in the war. Scenarios both minor and significant displayed itself in front of his mind's eye as if he were watching a film.

Every so often, a blurred visage of your image would make a brief appearance, like the flickering sparks of a match before they were able to come to light, fading away into the void and were overshadowed by his other thoughts. It was as if his own consciousness and intentionally muted any manifestations of your existence in his memories. As if he wasn't able to or allowed to see them━ to remember you for too long.

Mentally reliving moments from the last several months, years, decades, centuries━ trying to analyze each moment and decipher where it could have went wrong━ turned out to be quite an exhausting task. His mind and body would grow heavier with inertia, and eventually he would succumb to the alluring pull of slumber. After some time he would rouse from his sleep, and continued from where he left off.

These were his daily activities day in and day out (even though he had trouble distinguishing day and night in his chambers) for years. He saw a positive side to it though. He'd instead think of it has him getting stronger because he had spent so long . . . thinking. Ruminating. Contemplating every possibility in the past, present, and future. His mind would become as sharp as his zanpakuto.

Aizen had always been intentional about what he did, what he said, and how he conducted himself. He was sure in his abilities to orchestrate an image━ a belief for others to have faith in, and act on it in order to further his goals. He was always sure in that image, knowing who he was and what he stood for.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Aizen wasn't consciously aware that his certainty in this crafted image had already begun to waver. He could not and was unable to anticipate how severe these small fractures had become until after a certain lieutenant paid him a visit outside his cell of confinement, right before he was scheduled to be thrown back into that dark hole of the Mugen.

Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi was quite emotive when he burst through the doors. His expressions were contorted in volatile mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. His emotions were every which way, directed at everything that has happened so far, including himself. He was especially emotive at Aizen specifically for what he did to former captain Kaname Tosen and 'corrupting him with his twisted ideals.'

Aizen found amusement in that.

Before he was rolled away by the punishment force and therefore out of earshot, a particular set of Hisagi's words caused the small, content smile on his lips to uncurl ever so slightly. "Everything . . . and everyone that has ever gotten themselves involved with you has been trampled on by you and your ideals one way or another, and they all end up dead. If you think what you did to Captain Tosen was justified━ to call it mercy . . . . . then there is truly no justice in this world. You will . . . forever be the enemy in my eyes."

There was a trembling anger in his voice. Pain that wanted to cry out and be set free but, the thin lid of reason prevented it from doing so. And after a moment of silence, the corners of Aizen's lips curved upwards once more. A little bemused, a little more wolfish this time. He maliciously imagined Hisagi's reaction if he ever discovered the true reason for your disappearance.

But instead, all he said was. "What an interesting thing to say, Shuhei Hisagi. Your conviction is admirable." Any evidence of emotion that might have been reflected in his sepia irises was swallowed up and obscured by the darkness of the Mugen's jaw.

The cracks in Aizen's sense of self, in his beliefs, in the image he invented started to cave under the weight of Hisagi's words before he himself realized it was happening. They were like stains in the fabric of his mind that refused to come out.

What puzzled him more, was that with each attempt to figure out just why Hisagi's words echoed in his mind, they all lead back to you, the third seat of the 9th squad. Annoyingly so.

The tattooed lieutenant hadn’t said anything particularly profound ━ at least, Aizen didn't think so. Your name didn’t even fall from his lips. So why were memories of you and your likeness the only clear thoughts he could make of Hisagi's speech? Was it because he was aware of how close the two of you were? He doubted the reason were that trivial and insignificant.

His thoughts grew more discordant by the day, his soul a little more weighted than usual. Perhaps these new seals that Urahara had fashioned actually had an effect on him, Aizen thought. It made sense. His intellect, other than his own, were the only ones capable of creating such effective restraints.

After a while, he had a revelation. This was a different kind of weight.

This heaviness, the closest word he knew to describe it as . . . . was loneliness.

Time taunted him as it seemed to drag on━ Aizen grew even less sure of how much━ when he came to this realization. Hisagi's words were a clear mirror to the loneliness that echoed within him after what happened to you and to Tosen. It was so . . . potent, that it seemed to strike some chord in Aizen he had never heard before.

Such a chord, this sound of loneliness, it was strange and uncomfortable; he wasn't very fond of this sensation. He'd try to scrub it away, but it was all for naught.

His eyes had slid shut at some point, his ruminations leading to dead ends and wearing him down. And, almost as expected, there you were again, in all your translucent glory. The hem, the sleeves, and even the smell of your yukata slowly dragged across his dreams, haunting his thoughts like a lonely wraith.

And Aizen hardly dreamt of anything.

When he regained consciousness he was plagued with yet another epiphany. An additional reason behind this newfound depth.

Aizen's own loneliness. Guilt. Much to his own quiet horror.

How foreign and unusual a thing like guilt is. It was like looking into a mirror and not recognizing something you had never noticed before, but wondered if it had always been there.

But the thing Aizen did recognize, how lonely he actually felt, was something he had hoped would never resurface again. It was a notion he hadn't had the time or regard to consider━ 'loneliness'. Its only purpose, if any, was solely to serve as a motivator. At times though, it was more like a hindrance.

Something akin to nausea slowly started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but he suppressed the sensation before it became any more intense.

What of his previous actions did he need to feel guilty for? He hadn't felt it then, so why would he feel it now? Again he ruminated such a question endlessly into oblivion.

The former captain had no doubts that his plan to remove the Soul King, and therefore the Soul Society's sins, were necessary.

Nor did any hesitancy about removing the opposition or dead weight━ whether shinigami or arrancar━ existed.

He certainly had no reservations against killing Kaname Tosen, for he knew the man well enough to know that Tosen would have been so thoroughly appalled with what he had become, it would have drove him mad.

So what was it, then? Why were such useless emotions as guilt and loneliness being amplified n━

"Y....know, S....."

Even covered by the seals, Aizen's eyes widened and his brows were slightly furrowed in distress. Had his mind finally tipped the scales of sanity and madness, to the point where he was hearing things?

It was quiet for several moments longer, before his senses caught onto the sound of water dripping onto a hard surface.

One drop at a time.

Its cadence a little too rhythmic to be natural. And for a second time, he heard that soft, ominous sounding whisper. Its voice a little clearer this time.

"You...know.....Sōsuke."

In the second it took for his eyes to flutter shut behind its seals to blink, when he reopened them, he was no longer sealed to the walls and floors of the Mugen, nor was he surrounded by every shade of darkness imaginable. His limbs and senses were finally freed to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.

That relief was short-lived when his senses absorbed the unending landscape of water underneath his feet, water lilies lifelessly floating on its surface, and the dim sky illuminated by a full pale moon.

Aizen was in his inner world, and now he was aware of how he got here, or rather who brought him here.

"You . . . already know the answer to that question, Sōsuke." The voice was even more clear, its sentences more comprehensible. And it sounded it eerily like you.

Why the voice was impersonating your likeness had caught him off guard for half a second, but he realized it was only the work of his zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu.

An illusion it may be, there was an untouchable quality about your voice and how you spoke that even Kyoka Suigetsu couldn't replicate.

A few feet away from him, the water was disturbed by a being emerging from the depths. Ripples formed around a manifested version of his zanpakuto, who took the form of you, smiling ever so gently. The smile felt airy, and it didn't seem like the same one that haunted his dreams and every waking thought as of late. It felt....knowing.

Still, the former captain couldn't be bothered to maintain eye contact with his sword spirit, so he turned around and opted to keep his unreadable stare trained on the vast expanse of water and white lilies.

"It's been quite a while since I have stepped foot into this realm. There must be something you want . . . Kyoka."

The zanpakuto chuckled, it sounded like the way you would softly laugh at one of his clever quips. But this wasn't you.

He didn’t want to admit that something about that fact didn’t sit right with him.

"Judging from your tone, would I be correct in assuming you don't want to be here?"

Silence rang out within the soul scape, before Aizen interrupted it, his gentle voice colored a shade darker, and a little rigid. "And I fail to see the reason why you must take that form when you revealed yourself to me. Is your aim to get a reaction out of me? Or something along those lines?"

Your eyes━ the eyes of Kyoka Suigetsu━ narrowed at its master's back, as if they were trying to create concavities in his skull. But the expression was washed away the moment it appeared, the serene smile from before was back in place.

"You know . . . it's considered quite rude to not look at someone when you're addressing them. That, and when you deliberately ignore things they say. Your manners have been deteriorating, Sōsuke. Tsk, tsk."

Kyoka-dressed-as-you suddenly appeared before him, as if they had teleported. Even when they were in his peripheral vision, Aizen still maintained his stare off into the distant nothingness.

"Unless, you can't find it in yourself to look at me. . . that's correct, isn't it? It's because I look exactly like her, right?" The zanpakuto continued to provoke him, taking a step closer into his personal space.

With an exasperated sigh, his eyelids fell shut for a second, using that time to gather the strength he didn't know he needed, and directed his gaze to meet his spirit's. Aizen's face gave nothing away, but his heart lurched about his chest when his bronze eyes met with yours, or what was made to look like yours. The undesired affect it had on him was all the same.

"If you wish to chastise me about manners, I suggest you take your own advice. You didn't answer my first question, either: what is it you want? Why am I here?" Again the former captain chose to not address the other parts of Kyoka's statement. For the sake of his sanity and his thinning patience━ or was it to preserve his resolve?

Its smile widened a bit, moving another step closer to their master. God, Kyoka even smelled like you, mimicking your signature honeyed scent that Aizen didn't realize he found so intoxicating until this very moment.

"I called you here to save you from yourself."

Aizen remained silent, only narrowing his eyes in speculation. "Meaning?"

"Didn't I already say it earlier? I think you already know what I'm talking about, Sōsuke. You've always known."

Fate's pairing of Kyoka Suigetsu with Aizen was a match crafted from the spindles of heaven, but also a maddening curse pulled from the depths of hell, for they complimented each other a little too well. The zanpakuto was too perfect a reflection of Aizen and his soul, looking at it started to hurt his eyes.

His sword spirit insisted that he already knew the reason for his coming here, and perhaps he did have an inkling the moment the light of epiphany was shone on his profound loneliness and guilt. But that couldn't have been what it was referring to . . . . could it?

"You cannot feign ignorance here, my dear Sōsuke, however I do find it rather humorous you bother trying. If you'd like, I don't mind humoring you by spelling it out for you. I'd be glad to unearth the truth that you have buried in the most neglected corner of your heart."

"When you were . . . . subjecting yourself to such mental torment, it had an affect on this world as well. The ripples, the waves in this scape become quite . . . tumultuous." The nuances in your voice were perfected by his zanpakuto, but the way it talked sounded like a fog that was gradually closing in from over the horizon. The uneasy feeling that resided in his chest traveled down to his stomach, but Aizen's face remained steely, even when Kyoka Suigetsu took that final step to close the gap in between them. "And the reason for that, the reason why Hisagi's words rattled you so is because you regret killing that woman."

The creased line in Aizen's brow grew more prominent as he stared down his sentient sword spirit. With its breast pressed against his, they placed a hand on his clothed chest in a tantalizing manner, but he felt nothing. There was no warmth from its palm, much unlike when your hand touched him. There wasn't even a cool sensation either. Even minutes before your death, your touch brought a soothing heat that permeated through his shihakusho and penetrated his skin.

Kyoka's face grew nearer, their smile━ although still tender looking━ grew cold at its edges, nearly resembling that of a predator eager to see despair reflected in the eyes of its prey. It didn't fit the graceful allure of your face at all, and seeing this expression deeply unsettled the former captain more than he would like to admit.

"You regret . . . killing me."

A chill tore through Aizen's body, the weight of Kyoka's words adding onto the heaviness that still hasn't been alleviated from his heart; he was hardly able to suppress the involuntary shiver.

Without warning, Kyoka's mouth suddenly became dangerously close to their master's, its lips brushing against his in a provocative manner. Aizen's expression darkened when he realized that it was reenacting his last encounter with you when you were alive. His mouth started to grow uncomfortably dry, despite his soul scape being full of moisture, and there was a taste on the back of his tongue that's been lingering there since he arrived.

The lilt in Kyoka's tone continued to taunt him. "That is the reason for your guilt: regret. You have been in denial. And in the spirit of unearthing truths, I suppose I can admit that perhaps . . . . I've been . . . . encouraging said delusions, adding drops of fuel into the flames of your emotions and ambitions. But after all that's happened, when it comes down to it there's no point in continuing this hallucination any longer. I've grown tired of this game, so it's time to for you wake up now, Sōsuke. I've brought you here to release you from your own illusion, to completely shatter it."

Aizen's back was as stiff as a board, not moving a millimeter when Kyoka's lips grazed his again. They were breathing softly onto his mouth, but he hardly felt any puffs of air.

The former captain was having a rather difficult time processing the fact that his zanpakuto had its own agenda and had been manipulating his emotions without him noticing. Specifically the emotions he felt towards you.

He never truly believed that such a thing was possible, one's own blade having such a deep-rooted influence━ no, control over their master. Or would it be more accurate to say that he never expected himself to be controlled to such a degree? He that prided himself on being freed from the marionette strings of fate that were tied to his limbs and mind, he that relished being able to do what he wanted, think what he wanted, feel what he wanted━ or what he didn't want━ it was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the end.

Kyoka Suigetsu's deceptive abilities were indeed undeniably perfect. No one, not even Aizen himself could have anticipated that Kyoka's most absolute and complete hypnosis would be enacted on himself.

"Do you know now, Sōsuke? Do you understand?" Kyoka's voice was as soft as a whisper, but it couldn't hide the edges of its tone that were still sharpened from finding amusement of seeing the truth flash across its master's face. "You had destroyed the solution to your existential question of loneliness, before you could fully understand the question itself."

Yes . . . . . Aizen understood now.

He didn't bother acknowledging what Kyoka had said. His grim facial expression━ still, tinged with dolor, and paired with an indescribable, distant look his eyes━ said all that it needed to. His silence was as much as an admission as any.

Kyoka-dressed-as-you leaned forward again to fully close the gap between their lips and Aizen's. Tenderly, like the intentions of a lover, it spoke against his nearly closed mouth. "Have you figured it out yet?"

Nothing but quiet could be heard between them, as Kyoka's mouth moved about their master's face and placed something like kisses upon its surface, but not quite.

Aizen's cocoa-shaded eyes slide down to stare at his sword spirit pressed up against him. His gaze was hard, and yet something swam underneath its surface that his zanpakuto had never seen before. Melancholy, it guessed? They weren't quite sure.

Kyoka pressed on when Aizen remained quiet. "The taste in the back of your mouth. Have you figured out what it was? You know it quite well....."

Aizen's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth, sensing the rather unpleasant taste that has coated the inside of it. And within a moment, because he was faced with the current circumstances, Aizen had finally placed a name associated this particular taste. How unfortunate this was.

Upon his realization, Aizen's head lowered, and his brown tresses hung freely over his lashes. Perhaps it was so Kyoka couldn't properly see whatever remorseful expression painted their master's face, but it mattered not. Even from here, the sword spirit could already sense exactly what it was he was feeling.

And they loved it.

"It's a sweet and flavorful taste, isn't it? Quite lovely." Kyoka Suigetsu mimicked the exact words he uttered against your lips all those years ago when he tasted jasmine tea on your tongue, and sealed your death with a kiss. "It's too bad you don't seem to enjoy it anymore."

Aizen's chest continued to rise and fall calmly, and the hands of his sword spirit that rested there glided upwards to cup his strong jaw, caressing his skin with its thumb. Its phantasmic touch did nothing to stir their master.

"Sōsuke, do you know what the jasmine flower from that tea symbolizes?"

Aizen's lips were slightly parted, but again he didn't say anything. Instead, its corners twitched and lifted upwards by an inch, and he huffed softly.

Kyoka Suigetsu grinned in reply. "Good."

The next time Aizen blinked, he was plunged in darkness yet again. The restrictive feeling that swallowed his being whole had returned, and was an indicator that his zanpakuto had released him from his inner world. He was consciously back in the Mugen, back in this abyss they called a prison cell.

Kyoka was indeed as much as a formidable force in its own right, as much as, if not greater than Aizen himself.

The conversation he had with his sword spirit would be cemented in his head for all eternity. When he grew senile and began to physically wither away, the one thing that would remain vital like a young heart, was this epiphany that he had. This realization that he actually . . . .

As the chains of despair bound him tighter to the bottom of the metaphorical pit, regret and his loneliness corroding his flesh and spirit like metal exposed to moisture, a stray memory of his time in Hueco Mundo flashed in his mind. He recalled having tea prepared for meetings with his Espadas and he could not pinpoint when, but at some point, Aizen developed an aversion for jasmine flavored tea. For one reason or another, he no longer found its taste appealing; whenever he drank it, it always tasted bitter.

Now that reason had become painstakingly clear.

The binding on his mouth muffled a rueful chuckle at the though, and it trapped the flavor of jasmine on his lips.

(#) @soaringmirror @stygianoir @ryukenzz @blkjupiters @chrissie2003 @nymphoheretic @dejwrld @triangularz @souyaszn @kuujo @honeybleed @valentineluvu . let me know if you’d like to be apart of my tag list ♡♡.

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starlazergazer · 1 year

Text

Senators Shadow

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Summary: Anakin is your regular Jedi guard whenever your job in the senate brings you to Coruscant which wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t spend the entire time practically ignoring you making It clear he didn’t really want to be there. Until something changes on this trip and the two of you start to become close.

Warnings: Swearing, some jealous Anakin, scene where the readers being shot at from a crowd, that should be it

Word Count: 10K (may have gotten a bit carried away with this one but I hope its worth it!)

A/N: I’m a sucker for an enemies to lovers type thing plus a jealous Anakin moment so I wrote this to amuse myself (cause what’s the point of being a writer if you can’t write a fic for yourself once in a while?) Easily the longest one I’ve written so I hope you enjoy!!

You never really liked having to be on Coruscant. Things moved too fast here, you were always rushing from one meeting to another, prepping for speeches, consulting others, it often felt like you never got a chance to breathe only making you long for the minute you could leave and go back home.

And the longer you had to stare into Anakin’s eyes, the more you felt that longing grow.

“I appreciate the concern Jedi Skywalker” you addressed the man before you formally, interlacing your fingers and setting them on your desk, pushing forth an air of professionalism and authority “but I do not need a jedi guard for the time that I’m here”

A hint of a smirk graced his lips at your words, however, nothing more than its ghost ever appeared, a twitch in the corners of his lips. Often you wondered if you simply read too much into his expressions. “and I’m afraid your excellency that both the senate and the jedi council disagree”

There was no denying that Anakin was incredibly good looking, even if you tried to ignore that as much as possible, this simple fact was enough to have the people within the capital constantly whispering about him. Beyond this, however, he also had the reputation of being devilishly charming. You never got the chance to know that side of Anakin.

Sometimes you see glimpses of that version of him, you certainly did when you first met him as he introduced himself with a boyish grin and a look that had your cheeks stained scarlet, but since that first encounter it has been nothing but this stoic, aloof jedi that was now before you. And some stupid part of you wondered if it had been something you said that first night that pushed him away.

“Alright this is, however, my person we are talking about” you argued back, fighting down your own annoyance at his persistence “I get final say in what happens to it and that includes whether or not I have someone guarding it”

His answer was quick and to the point, as it always was “that is not how this works”

And oh how you loathed his complete lack of emotion, here you were out on a limb trying to reason with him, trying to compromise, trying to get something, anything out of him and still he responded as if you were little more than a talking brick wall.

“Then tell me Jedi Skywalker” You tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm yourself down, unable to keep the bite completely out of your words “how does this work?”

He leaned back in his chair causally, crossing his ankle over his knee, exuding confidence as he stated simply “either you let me act as your guard or you don’t make the speech next week”

You raised an eyebrow back at him, your voice dropping to a dangerous level “excuse me?”

“the jedi council has it on good authority there is going to be an attempt on your life so the senate is not going to let you on the floor unless they have reason to believe you aren’t going to die upon it” he explained indifferently, as if you were the one being ridiculous here.

“Wouldn’t resources be better spent actually looking for the person threatening my life then?” you pointed out with a sigh, posture slumping over slightly as you spoke, resigning yourself to the shadow being forced upon you for the next week.

“Oh we do have people on that” he assured you “just not me”

“No you’re on guard duty” you rolled your eyes at him.

“I’m on guard duty” he echoed back and you tried to ignore how hollow the words came from him, it would seem he was as happy about this assignment as you were.

And you wished you had a biting remark back for that, not fully ready admit just why his words bothered you so much, but you didn’t, instead you were left staring at Anakin in the chair before you, him doing the same as a brief silence fell over the two of you before a knock at the door broke it, one of your aide’s, head popping through the doorway.

“I have Jace here to see you senator”

You felt the smile grown naturally on your face at the news, unaware that your best friend and quite possibly the only person who could make this week better was even on Coruscant.

“Thank you please send him in” you nodded at her, eyes flicking back down to Anakin’s form, smile slowly dropping from your face as your gaze met his small glare “are we done here jedi?”

“It would appear so” he nodded stiffly, pushing himself up to a standing position, his mouth open, ready to say something when a new voice cut him off.

“Y/N Y/L/N it has been far too long”

A giggle escaped past your lips as Jace slipped into the room with wide arms, you not hesitating to meet him halfway across the room, more than happy to be caught up in his bone crushing hug as a greeting.

“Jace how could you not tell me you were going to be here” you chastised him with a small hit of his arm once he set you down, the grin never once leaving your face, you weren’t sure you could admit to even him how badly you needed someone on your side this week.

“Thought I’d surprise you” he shrugged with a wink and you were so excited to see him you almost missed the other voice as it spoke up from across the room.

“Senator”

Your head whipped around to meet Anakin’s gaze, a raised brow silently asking your question for you.

“I’ll be outside the room”

You didn’t have time to give any response before he was ducking out the door, finally leaving you and Jace alone.

“You have a babysitter” Jace mused with a smirk on his lips as he made his way to the bar cart in the corner, making the two of you a drink without being asked as you slumped down into one of the chairs before your desk.

“I have a babysitter” you groaned. The words, now that they were in the open, cementing themselves in reality “and it just had to be Anakin fucking Skywalker”

Jace snorted as he brought the drinks over, wordlessly handing you one as he sat in the chair next to you “of course it’s Anakin Skywalker, it’s always Anakin”

You furrowed your brow at him, taking a sip of your drink “it is not always Anakin, last time I had Master Obi-wan”

“Because Anakin was on a mission in Crait for nearly a month at that time” Jace pointed out with a smirk making you frown.

“I’m sorry you just know Anakin’s schedule at all times?”

“I knew about it last time because like I said you always get Anakin as security” he chuckled shaking his head at you as if it were obvious.

“I do not” you insisted still, mind racing as you thought back to the last time you had been assigned a jedi that wasn’t Anakin “Just last year I had Master Kuno”

“mmmm when you made that speech denouncing the banking clan” Jace hummed softly as he thought “I believe Anakin was on medical leave then”

You shook your head at your friend, sipping your drink “you do acknowledge that it’s weird that you know that right? It’s important to me that you know that”

Jace chuckled at that shaking his head softly at you “and it’s weird that you’ve never noticed that Anakin, if he is available, is always your guard”

“Alright so the jedi order decided to assign their young padawan to guard the young senator” you thought as you talked, more or less making up your own rationalizations on the spot “pair the two people who are up and coming in their respective careers”

Jace didn’t even bother to refute that, sending you no more than an unimpressed expression with a raised brow. You realized with a sigh you already knew exactly where he was going with this as he opened his mouth to speak.

“no” you held up your finger, interrupting him “don’t even try”

“Y/N it’s obvious” he sighed nearly making you choke on your drink.

“Obvious? Really Jace, obvious?” you nearly laughed “I can’t even get the guy to talk to me for longer than like two minutes”

Jace just shrugged at that, as if it made no difference “He’s a jedi, they’re weird maybe he’s nervous or something”

At that you did laugh, not liking how bitter it sounded out in the open “you’ve seen how he talks to every other woman in the capitol he’s definitely not nervous”

At that Jace froze, a single eyebrow raising as he nearly gaped at you “I haven’t, but I’m very interested to learn that you’ve noticed this”

You groaned inwardly, feeling your cheeks heat up on the spot “that is not the point I’m trying to make”

“It’s the point now” Jace cut you off with a wicked grin “Y/N Y/L/N is there something you want to get off your chest”

“I will have him come in here and throw you out” you threatened, unable to keep the small smile off your face as you did so.

“Hey if you wanted time alone with him all you had to do was say so” Jace held his hands up defensively, smirking down at you.

You nearly threw your drink at him.

You would think after all of these trips to Coruscant you would learn to pack properly. That, however, would make things just too easy.

You were prepared for meeting rooms, for the senate floor, for your bedroom. You had professional clothing, comfy clothing, pajamas, you were prepared for anything within the capital building that could take place.

What you were not prepared for was a walk to Dex’s diner.

You were supposed to meet a senator at the diner, the man absolutely insisting on dinner while you were meeting, and you could never really say no to eating at Dex’s.

But you could see Anakin’s look of confusion at your outfit choice as you immerged from your room, the man giving you a simple raised brow but still you refused to give into the embarrassment of admitting to your mistake.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” there was no malice in his question but still you felt your cheeks burning at its asking, looking back down over yourself, pretending to not notice that the clothing was much too light for the cold weather outside.

“Yeah why? Is there something wrong with it?”

“Uh no you look” and Anakin paused here, his eyes scanning your form briefly in a way that had you squirming slightly on the spot, his eyes finally making their way back up to your own, Anakin’s voice much softer than before “you look good Y/N”

And if you had thought you had blushed hard before.... Your gaze was quickly thrown to your shoes, a desperate attempt to hide the blush as you mumbled out a thanks before clearing your throat awkwardly, nodding slightly to the door, Anakin nodding back and stepping aside, letting you exit first.

Keeping your head held high you whisked past him, only regretting your situation as soon as the crisp air hit your mostly bare arms.

Warm clothing, how could you forget any and all forms of warm clothing.

You tried to hide your slight shiver, wrapping your arms around yourself to conserve body heat, rubbing a hand up and down your bicep.

“Where’s your coat?” the voice beside you startled you, all too used to walking in complete silence with Anakin, to nearly tuning the man out completely.

“I forgot to pack it” you shrugged, almost wishing you had something more to say, something to keep the conversation going.

Instead the familiar silence fell back over the two of you as you walked, your mind already starting to tune the jedi out once again when you felt something being draped over your shoulders.

In surprise you froze, Anakin following suit as he came to a stop in front of you, hands still on the ends of his robe that now hung around your shoulders, holding it carefully around you. Slipping your arms into the sleeves you held them up to your eyes taking a moment to admire the simple brown robe, how surprisingly soft it was, the way it smelled like Anakin.

“Am I even allowed to wear this?”

“It’s just a robe” Anakin shrugged, already trying to push past the gesture “besides breaking a rule like that is worth you not freezing”

“but it’s a special jedi robe” you protested “am I going to get special jedi powers now?”

And god help you you saw the corners of his mouth twitch up at that, a laugh that came out as more of a cough following shortly that had your heart skipping a beat in your chest “that’s not how that works. Now come on” he tried to usher you forward but you stopped him.

“Hold on what about you” you asked “aren’t you cold”

And you weren’t sure if Anakin noticed the small smile that grew on his lips, didn’t notice or didn’t care, either way you were glad to finally see it “no I’m okay, let’s just-“ and he paused out of nowhere, smile slowly dropping from his lips as he looked up into the sky.

Furrowing your brows you started to do the same, pausing only as Anakin started to approach you, hands coming just beside your ears as he reached behind you, your breath catching in your throat at his closeness. Slowly, grabbing the hood on the cloak he pulled it forward, shrouding your head in it just as you started to notice the fat water droplets that began to stain the ground beneath your feet.

“keep your hair dry” he all but whispered, taking just a second longer before retracting his hands and taking a step back, turning on his heel and ushering you forward with a nod in that direction “come on let’s hurry”

And then he took off as if nothing had happened, as if that wasn’t the most emotion you had gotten out of him since you had met, as if he hadn’t just spent the last several seconds standing closer to you than was strictly necessary, as if your heart wasn’t hammering in your chest so hard you could feel it.

Too much of your mental space the rest of the day was spent trying to come up with ways to get Anakin to interact with you again. Like an itch you couldn’t quite scratch you felt this desire to talk to him again, to see that hint of a smile grace his lips, to see that small twinkle in his eye as he huffed and shook his head in amusement down at you. Something, anything that could clue you into what was going on inside of that jedi brain of his.

Beyond proposing a trip to the library, however, you had nothing.

A small nod was all you got for your efforts before he fell into place behind you, always a few feet back, hands held behind his back, head held high, not a single word uttered in your direction, a true return to form even after what had occurred earlier.

And a part of you scolded yourself for thinking it would ever be different, that you had let Jace’s words weasel their way under your skin like that, that you ever thought you’d be anything other than a job to him.

So wordlessly you led on, entering the library with him in tow, doing as you always did and completely ignoring your shadow’s existence for the time being, trying to turn your mind to the task at hand.

But why had that never been as hard before as it was now?

Taking a brief trip around the shelves, Anakin in tow close behind, it was a bit before you could find the exact copy you needed, of course on the top shelf well outside of your reach.

You took a tentative look back at Anakin to see his eyes wondering aimlessly around the library not even paying attention. And for a brief moment you debated asking him for help, he’d given his cloak so freely the other day, had yet to even ask for it back, you’d taken to the habit of wearing it around your rooms when cold. It had been a crack in the walls he erected between the two of you so long ago.

But it was just that, a crack. You’ve spent years at this point with whatever small amount of time spent in Anakin’s company more or less ignoring him, used to his curt nods and short answers, it wasn’t quite so simple to get over that.

With a small sigh you walked over to a nearby table and grabbed a chair, pushing it back in front of the shelf, giving it a small test with your hands before stepping one foot up.

Anakin was by your side in an instant, hands out before him, coming up to grab you but remaining just a bit too far away “What are you doing?”

“I need a book on the top shelf” you shrugged, pushing your weight onto the foot on the seat of the chair, Anakin shifting closer as you did so.

“Alright then I’ll get it” he urged, “this thing spins would you just get down”

“I’m already up here I’ll get it” you brushed him off, one hand on the back of the chair to steady yourself as you brought your other foot up, trying to react quickly with every small movement in the base of the chair as it swiveled slightly.

“Senator-“ Anakin tried again, practically begging you to get down.

“I’m like two feet in the air I’ll be fine” your hand left the back of the chair and immediately the thing pivoted slightly beneath you, your legs reacting by crouching slightly so you could keep your balance.

“Y/N” and you felt him grab you by the forearm, a shock surging through your arm at his sudden touch, effectively freezing you in place, your eyes coming back to connect with his for the first time, noting the concern they carried. His other hand reached out, a book flying off the top shelf and coming right into his palm, Anakin not even breaking eye contact as he did it “Look I’ve got it would you please get down”

And for a second it was like you had forgotten how to breathe, you can’t even remember the last time he had looked into your eyes so intently let alone touch you, the simple act had left you absolutely breathless with gorgeous blue eyes bouncing back and forth between your own and for the first time you felt what it was like to truly be the sole object of Anakin’s attention. You could feel yourself practically shrink within it, your knees aching slightly though you were quick to blame that on your attempt to balance on the chair.

“Uh-yeah” you hadn’t realized how long you had remained still and silent beneath his gaze until you broke its spell, forcing your gaze from his down to your shoes, using his hand as an anchor as you carefully stepped down, not missing the sharp hiss of air that left Anakin the minute you had both feet on the ground.

“here” he sighed almost in relief, holding the book out to you, you carefully taking it from his hands as he moved quickly to push the chair back to the table you had stolen it from.

Looking down at the cover you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, casting your eyes back up to Anakin only to see him already looking at you, a faint smile pulling up at his lips “what?”

“I actually need the one next to this one” you bit the inside of your cheek to contain your own smile as he sighed dramatically, looking back up at the self before easily picking the one you needed off of the top.

“Thank you” you traded books with him, just barely catching the slightly wider smile on his lips as he placed the first back on the shelf. And you decided that you liked that smile, liked being its cause.

Wordlessly he ushered you towards the exit with an extended arm, you nodding sheepishly at him before walking out the doors, Anakin’s footsteps as usual following close behind but this time, to your surprise, he sped up once you got to the hallway, falling into step beside you as opposed to behind.

“So what do you need the book for?” The question startled you, your head whipping around to him on instinct though you tried desperately to restrain your surprise, worried expressing too much of it would scare him off.

“Oh-he’s just one of my favorite writers” you tried to keep your tone as casual as possible, only making you worry it sounded forced, you didn’t like how easily you came to second guessing your every move in the jedi’s presence “I’m hoping I could use some of his style to influence my speech, make it sound a little better”

His brow furrowed at that, his gaze never leaving yours as he spoke “why? I like your style”

You nearly stopped walking, quick blinks coming as you tried to wrap your head around his words, the question slipping out of you before you could think better “you’ve seen me speak before?”

“When I’m free” he shrugged as if it were a given, as if there was nothing better for a jedi to do than listen to a junior senator give a speech.

And for the first time you started to wonder if Jace was right, if there was a reason Anakin always ended up as your guard, if there was more to this tough, distant demeanor than you had previously thought.

“Do you want a drink?” You regretted the offer as soon as it left your lips, easily catching the hesitation on Anakin’s face the minute you asked “I just mean I’m going to be up for a little longer and since you’re stuck keeping me company it’s the least I could do” and he seemed to relax slightly at that only making you tack on more “plus as a thank you for grabbing the book for me”

And there was that small smile again, his features lighting up ever so slightly as it graced his lips, your own mirroring it of their own volition.

“Yeah I’d like that”

“You did not!” You exclaimed with a loud laugh, hand coming out instinctively to slap his chest as he grinned back at you, smile hid behind his glass as he raised it up.

“I had no other choice” he defended weakly in a voice that told you he had many.

“That make for three ships you’ve crashed in this story alone” you shook your head with a chuckle “you know someone has to pay for those, namely the people of the republic”

“A small price to pay for peace” he shrugged with a lazy grin, taking a sip of his drink.

“Have you tried this thing, I think they call it landing?” You teased earning a chuckle from the jedi, the sound making your cheeks ache as you tried to contain your grin.

“I’m sorry senator how many ships have you ever flown and landed successfully?” he taunted with a raised brow.

And you could blame it on the alcohol, could blame it on the sleep deprivation, could blame it on the cozy atmosphere in the room. But really it was just Anakin that had you pulling out childhood stories, the way he put you at ease, the strange familiar air of a man who’s spent the last several years practically ignoring you. In all honesty this was the most you had ever gotten from the man in terms of real conversation and you weren’t ready to let that go just yet.

“My father actually taught me to fly as a kid” you offered with a soft smile, watching Anakin’s brows shoot up ever so slightly.

“Really?” he prompted simply, leaving the door open for you to continue if you so choose.

“Yeah” you chuckled softly, casting your eyes down to your drink “he loved the freedom it gave him, the idea that he could go anywhere he wanted at the drop of a hat, could live amongst the stars. I think he wanted to instill that same feeling in me”

“and did he?” he asked with a sentimental smile and briefly you felt like he wasn’t just looking at you but rather watching you as you told your story, something you took a strange comfort in.

“He did” you nodded “he died a few years ago and I associate flying with him so much I feel like I’m working to fall in love with it all over again, just this time alone”

And at your words you watched his smile slowly melt off his face, his eyes casting downward into his own drink, and you prepared yourself for the inevitable. The sympathy, the condolences, the pity, instead Anakin surprised you with a story of his own.

“As a kid I was a pod racer, thought I was significantly better than I actually was ya know” he chuckled softly, eyes glancing up at yours for a brief moment before casting back down “but I knew my mother never really approved, thought it was too dangerous, but she always was my biggest supporter despite everything. I had to leave her years ago for the order and sometimes I wonder if I’m reckless now in some ridiculous bid to be closer to her”

“that’s not ridiculous” you shook your head, Anakin’s eyes coming back up to meet yours “it was a comfort to have your mother care for you in that way, only makes sense that when you miss her you seek that sense of comfort all over again”

And he chuckled softly at that, smiling to himself “I suppose you’re right”

And this time you could definitely blame it on the alcohol, or maybe the slight pink hue you thought you could see in his cheeks, but suddenly you felt yourself forcing your next words to the surface, a desperate need taking over you to have them out in the open. “I know we never really do this but I really like talking to you Anakin”

And for some reason the name felt weird on your mouth this time, felt weird being addressed to him rather than said behind his back, yet still you rather liked it.

A small smile grew on his lips as he looked back at you, eyes bouncing back and forth between your own before he spoke “I like talking to you too Y/N”

And you certainly liked the way your name sounded when he said it like that to you, soft and sweet, less a call to attention and more an affirmation.

His eyes darted to the clock and he sighed softly, leaning forward to set his glass on the edge of your desk “Come on its way past your bedtime”

You chuckled softly at that, shaking your head even as you knew he was right “I’m a senator I don’t have a bedtime”

He laughed back at that, taking your glass from you and setting it onto your desk next to his “and senators need 8 hours of sleep just like the rest of us”

“You expect me to believe you get a full 8 hours of sleep a night” you asked with a raised brow, watching in amusement as he shook his head softly from above you.

“Alright like the rest of us except for jedi knights”

Despite that ridiculous answer you relented, hands coming to the armrests of your chair ready to push yourself up when a hand suddenly entered your field of vision, Anakin’s hand offered simply to you. With a slightly furrowed brow you looked up at him as you took it, standing up with his small aide, coming to a position that had the two of you standing nearly chest to chest and instinctively you felt a small panic rise.

Instead his other hand came to the small of your back as he ushered you forward softly, hand slipping easily from your own as you walked forward out of your office, focused entirely too much on the feeling of his touch as it slowly slipped from your back, on the way he fell into step behind you as usual though this time mere inches away instead of feet.

Too quickly you reached the door to your room, spinning around to face him “this is me” you regretted the statement as soon as it left your mouth, wincing slightly at the sound of your own words which just had him laughing softly.

“Need me to clear it?” he asked in a low tone, his voice barely above a whisper as he inched closer “see if there’s a monster hiding under your bed”

“I think I’ll be okay” you chuckled softly back, scolding yourself for the way your gaze slipped down to his lips, the way your fingers twitched, eager to reach out.

The moment of silence stretched and still you felt yourself drifting closer, felt the friendly atmosphere give way to one of thick tension as the two of you stared back at one another, daring the other to give in and make the first move.

Instead Anakin stepped back, the smile slowly slipping from his lips though never entirely leaving “goodnight Y/N”

And with a sigh you couldn’t entirely contain you nodded softly, leaning against your doorway as you watched him walk back down the hall to his own room, “goodnight Anakin”

You dragged yourself from sleep with shallow quick breaths, bolting upright in place, eyes desperately scanning the room for anything that looked familiar.

But of course this was Coruscant and nothing really was.

This wasn’t the first time your sleep has plagued by nightmares, nor the first time you’ve woken up unsure of where you were, of what was going on, of where the threat was coming from.

And logically you knew where you were, in your room, safe, with a jedi guard just next door. So you tried to force yourself to take deep breaths, a hand on your chest as if you could physically push the air into you. And for the most part you had succeeded, your breath slowly but surely returning to normal.

But it didn’t rid you of the initial panic, of the overwhelming sense of dread, of the crushing loneliness of going through this in a room that wasn’t your own.

And for the first time your mind jumped to Anakin, afterall he was just next door.

This past day had been the closest you had ever felt to the jedi, approaching something that resembled friendship as he made an effort for the first time to actually talk to you. And based on that you really didn’t think he would mind, even if it was just him sitting in silence next to you, it was nice just having something there.

But still waking him would be welcoming him to a part of you you weren’t sure you were ready to show him yet. It was a level of vulnerability you weren’t ready to show him yet. Not to mention the man was a jedi, faced death on a near daily basis, was always putting himself in dangers way, what right did you have to go to him with nightmares?

Making up your mind you slipped silently out of your room and made your way to the front door, heading as you usually did to Jace’s apartment.

You tried to slip out of the room quietly, more than enough experience at this under your belt to know that you could probably force your way through the front door with a sledge hammer and Jace wouldn’t wake up but still wanting to take precautions nonetheless.

Up on your toes you snuck through the door, pressing the button on the other side to close it, waiting till it fully shut to relax, spinning around to begin the trek back to your rooms, when movement out of the corner of your eye caught you off guard. With a small gasp you stepped back from the mysterious object, nearly stumbling over your own feet, when you realized you recognized the mystery man lurking outside of the door.

“Anakin” you breathed out in relief, hand instinctually coming to your chest in an attempt to slow your racing heart “you scared me”

At first he didn’t say anything, stayed leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, his posture telling you that he couldn’t have been more at ease, but his expression... His jaw was set, clenched hard enough you could see the muscle tensing even from your position, his gaze hard and unflinching as it bore down into you, Anakin was pissed.

“Imagine how I felt when I woke to find your room empty” His tone was cold and biting, as if he were spitting the words at you rather than conversing.

“Alright maybe I should’ve left a note” you conceded “but I figured I’d be back in an hour or two tops, and it’s Jace’s place you’ve met him”

“A note” he scoffed back at you, pushing himself off the wall to come close to you, forcing you to crane your neck in order to make eye contact, refusing to give in and take a step back “What part of this do you not get?”

“What part of what?” you demanded, crossing your own arms over your chest “you found me quite easily what is the harm?”

“What is the-“ he chuckled bitterly as he echoed you under his breath, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose before he burst “you suck out on me!”

“for like an hour” you protested, rising your voice to match his, not caring at this point who heard you

“That doesn’t matter” he paused briefly between each word, putting emphasis on each as he glared at you “I was tasked with guarding you that means I go where you go, everywhere you go, that means you don’t sneak out on me especially not to just spend the night with some guy” he gestured almost in disgust back at Jace’s door “this isn’t some joke Y/N”

“And I’m not treating it like one” you countered, clenching your jaw as you fought back the urge to push him back “you’ve come with me to everything for the entire time you’ve been my guard, I haven’t left your side, I’m playing by your rules”

“this” he gestured vaguely in your direction, a bitter laugh in the back of his throat “this is not playing by my rules, this is disobeying my orders, and a fucking note is not the correct fix to this situation”

“So I should’ve what? Asked you to escort me to Jace’s room at three in the morning?”

You watched him clench his jaw at that, a harsh glare sent back at you as he silently loomed over you, neither of you saying anything for a few seconds, before a deep breath escaped him, his chest deflating slightly as he grabbed your elbow, pulling you down the hallway “let’s just go back Y/N”

But you weren’t giving up on this so easily, weren’t letting him get away with chastising you in the middle of the hallway like you were a child. You ripped your elbow from his grasp, slowing your pace “I can walk myself”

“Really you sure you won’t get lost?” he condescended with a raised brow, crossing his arms in front of his chest “won’t accidentally end up in some other guys room for ‘just an hour’, I think senator Passel’s in this hall I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about him”

You reacted without thinking, your hand coming up and slapping him across the cheek before you could fully process your action, though even after you couldn’t find yourself to regret it. And you knew that on some level Anakin had to have let it happen, it was nearly impossible to catch the Jedi by surprise. But the wide eyes he gave back to you could have had you fooled. You watched as his own hand came up to his cheek, touching the skin lightly, him mouth dropping open ever so slightly, his anger completely dissipating on the spot.

Yours, however, had yet to do so “You’re mad I disobeyed your ‘orders’ fine I can take that, but you do not get to treat me like this and you do not get to throw that kind of insinuation at me” you seethed back at him, hands clenched by your side so hard you could feel your nails digging into the palms.

“Y/N” and you name came out of his mouth on an exhale, a hand coming up to your elbow with a touch much softer than before, a plea in his eyes as he said it.

But you weren’t sure you could take any more of being in Anakin’s presence tonight. As you took a step back his hand fell easily from your arm and you tried to ignore the tingle on your skin it left in its place, tried to ignore the lump you could feel growing at the base of your throat, tried to ignore his silent plea for you to come back.

“Goodnight Jedi Skywalker” and before you could crumble you turned and walked back towards your rooms, hearing Anakin’s reluctant footsteps fall into place a few feet behind you.

You felt strangely energized the next morning at breakfast, shoveling food into your mouth as you jotted down notes and took pleasure in the fact that Anakin had yet to wake. Perhaps Jedi did need a full 8 hours of sleep. Senators, it would turn out, can survive on a fraction of that in combination with pure spite.

Your eyes barely glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps that halted a few feet in front of your desk, taking no more than a second to note Anakin’s form as he stood before you.

“Y/N” your name came out of his mouth almost hesitantly, still you refused to look up at him just yet, pretending most of your attention was still captured by the document before you.

“Jedi Skywalker”

You heard a small sigh escape him, a hollow chuckle filling the air “back to titles huh”

“what can I do for you jedi?” you asked, interlacing your fingers and setting them before you, pushing your posture straighter as you looked up at him in front of your desk, not letting a single emotion betray you with your expression.

Another sigh and he held up a piece of paper before you “we’ve received our first official death threat against you” and though you knew it had to be coming a part of you expected to be more shook by the news, expected to be more scared, all you felt at this point, however, was tired. Tired of being on Coruscant, tired of your job, tired of dealing with every consequence that came from these threats.

“Ok” You could see Anakin’s expression melt a little at your simple reply, could see the pity and guilt plain on his face, you wanted neither “anything else?”

Anakin nodded slowly, placing the piece of paper on your desk, taking care to step back from you after he had done so “because of it we’re more or less going into lockdown, the only people permitted access to this room are the one’s on this list provided by your security team”

You scoffed slightly as your eyes scanned the list, noticing immediately that one name was missing “Jace isn’t on here”

Anakin’s tone dropped slightly, his hand going into a fist at his side as he repeated “the only people permitted access to this room are the one’s on this list”

You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping as you threw the paper down onto your desk “you want me confined to my room fine, restrict who I have access to fine, one of those people will, however, be Jace, not only because he is my friend and I trust him but because he is instrumental to getting the work I need done”

And you could see him clench his jaw from across your desk, an angry hand running through his hair before he crossed his arms over his chest, eyes breaking from yours down to the paper before he sighed “fine”

And that put you off guard, if there was one thing you had learned about Anakin throughout your limited interaction it was that the man didn’t back down easily. Giving him a small nod you all but whispered a thank you, casting your eyes back down to your document, a silent dismissal.

The paper was wordlessly picked up from your desk before he started to leave, a new voice filling the silence left in his wake.

“Y/N I just heard-“ Jace’s voice was cut off suddenly, your eyes coming up from the document to see him in the doorway, held in place with a simple hand on his chest by Anakin, the jedi’s other hand resting on the hilt of his lightsaber as he glared down the man.

“he’s fine” you called out simply, eyes casting back down to the document without a second thought.

But you didn’t hear any change, Jace hadn’t started talking again, there had been no footsteps as he entered the room. Looking back up you saw the two men in the exact same position, glaring daggers into one another, each daring the other to make the first move.

“Jedi Skywalker he’s okay to come in” you instructed Anakin again, watching as the grip on his saber only tightened if anything.

“Anakin”

His gaze snapped to yours at the sound of his name, his expression softening ever so slightly as it did, his grip dropping from the saber.

“he’s okay”

And reluctantly he nodded, hand dropping from Jace’s chest as he righted himself, before his gaze snaped back to Jace, his next words coming out almost as a threat as he spoke them more to your friend than you “I’ll be just outside the door”

You’d be lying if you said you had forgotten about the other night, in fact you had done just about everything you could to do so, but despite your best efforts his insinuation still rang loudly in your head, his angry gaze as he spit the words at you still living in your minds eye, the fury that sparked in your chest then had yet to dwindle with time.

You tried to tell yourself that it didn’t really matter, so what if you were seeing Jace like that you were both single there would be no harm done. But another part of you hated the idea of Anakin thinking that, the same stupid, selfish, naive part of you that clung onto his every word and laugh that night.

But you had a job to do, a job that had pulled you halfway across a galaxy away from home to try and convince a small group of relevant senators that your position was correct and morally righteous which would be no small feat. That was exactly why you couldn’t have your attention pulled away from the matter at hand by some guy, least of all some guy as emotionally stunted as Anakin Skywalker.

“Y/N” you ignored the small plea from that very man, pointedly keeping your gaze on your notes as you paced back and forth from behind the stage.

Anakin sighed softly, an anxious hand running through his hair before he tried again “Y/N please I’m sorry I didn’t-“

“No” you cut him off simply, refusing to give him your attention, your anger, your anything. You had a job to do and he was being an active hinderance to that and you were not going to treat him as anything but that “I don’t want to hear it right now”

He nodded softly at that, gaze casting down to his shoes “yeah we can talk after your speech”

You scoffed at that, shaking your head before countering under your breath “or you can go back to ignoring me, I much preferred that”

Anakin furrowed his brow at that, taking a step closer to you “what do you-“

“Senator” one of your aides interrupted you with a smile, nodding her head towards the shut curtain before you “they’re ready for you”

“Thank you” you smiled back at her, squaring your shoulders and facing the curtain separating you from the stage, pointedly ignoring Anakin’s intense stare down at you.

Another soft sigh before he whispered “I’ll be off to the right side in case anything happens” and he was reaching for the curtain before you could respond, most likely knowing that you wouldn’t, holding it open for you to duck under slightly and be met by the bright lights and polite applause you were used to.

You smiled widely at the crowd as you walked up to the podium, setting your stack of notes on top of it and waving, giving them a practiced small nod and a polite “thank you senators”

Slowly the applause dwindled and you were faced with a silent room, milking the sound for just a moment before beginning “I want to thank you all for making time in your busy schedules-“ and you launched into the usual political fluff that began most speeches, stroking the senators egos before you got into the real meat of the issue.

You didn’t make it far, however, before you felt a sudden tug at your elbow, the force strong enough that you were pulled back from the microphone a few steps, a confused murmur making its way through the crowd before you.

Spinning around you followed the hand upon your elbow up to the jedi who owned it, only to see that he wasn’t staring down at you but rather up at the point where the walls met the ceiling, his eyes searching for something that was surely drowned out by the stage lights.

“What’s going on?” you asked him pulling your arm back into you, Anakin’s fingers not putting up a fight against it as he kept his gaze up, searching.

“we need to go” the words were spoken softly and with little weight only confusing you further.

“Anakin what-“ he cut you off before you could even get the question out, crashing his body into yours as he tackled you to the floor, arms wrapping around you to break your fall as he ducked the two of behind your podium. And you were ready to ask him again what was happening when you noticed it, a new burn mark on the wall just behind where your head had been moments ago.

It was only then that you realized the world had fallen silent on your ears, your mind tuning out the panicked yells and scraping of chairs as the people you had just been addressing scrambled for the exit.

Then there was a blaster sound.

The podium before you shook as it took the brunt of the shot, the furniture groaning telling you it wasn’t going to be able to take much more.

With wide eyes your gaze finally connected with Anakin’s to find his already on you, your name on his lips though you don’t remember hearing it.

“What?” You asked much too softly for the sound level in the room, a small look of relief still edging into Anakin’s eyes as he looked at you.

“There’s a door behind you to your left, I’ll cover you you make a break for it on the count of three” he instructed loudly but still calmly, the small panic in his eyes doing a fantastic job of never making its way to his voice. You nodded quickly at him, eyes darting over your shoulder to take a quick look at the door. His hand came up and squeezed your shoulder softly, pulling your gaze back to his “stay low okay. 1..2..3 go”

There wasn’t a moments hesitation before you broke for the door, no drop of doubt in Anakin’s promise to cover you before you left the safe haven of the podium, throwing yourself at the door to force it open and pushing it back closed behind Anakin the second he was through.

He never let up, however, not wasting any time before he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you off the door and down the hallway, you never fully being able to escape the panicked screams from that room.

“The others in there” you protested weakly, letting Anakin pull you further and further away from the room.

“Not important right now” he answered harshly, taking seemingly random turns down a labyrinth of hallways.

And your mind was spinning too much to protest any further, still struggling to bridge the gaps of the last few minutes and comprehend what had happened “did you see them?”

“No” Anakin grumbled “but I think the shot came from the vent system”

“So they could be anywhere by now”

Anakin didn’t respond to that, dragging you a few more feet forward before coming to an abrupt halt before a door you didn’t recognize, eyes checking both ways down the hall before throwing it open and ushering you inside, shutting the door behind the two of you.

It was jarring how silent it was within the room, the way the entire world seemed to suddenly stop spinning, finally giving you the chance to catch your breath, your mind reeling in such a way that made you wonder if you even really wanted the silence.

“Okay” Anakin spoke up, hand coming back to your shoulder, thumb hooked softly under your chin to physically pull your gaze to his as he hunched over slightly “you stay in here I’ll go-“

“What-“ the question came out before he could even finish his statement, your head shaking rapidly as you took a step back from him “you’re leaving me in here?”

“Just for a bit I need to track down-“

“No I can’t-” you interrupted him again, the same panic as before surging within you as you shook your head again, an anxious hand bunching up in your hair as you started to shift your weight from foot to foot “you can’t just- you can’t leave me here alone”

“Hey hey” and you could see his attempt to calm you down as he reached out, could see the fight behind his eyes between staying with you and finding the guy who shot at you, his hands resting on both of your shoulders halting your nervous movement “you’ll be safe in here but I need to track down-“

“Please” you interrupted him again, your single world making his argument die on his lips, his expression freezing slightly at the sound of it “Please Ani don’t leave me”

And you watched his chest deflate, a small nod before he answered “okay”

Before you could think better of it you surged forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his chest. Again there was a moment of hesitation, a brief hiccup before his arms wrapped around you in response, and you heard him mumble against your hair “I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay”

And at that words you let a shaky breath out, feeling the weight on your chest decrease slightly at the promise, nodding softly against him before slowly letting go, untangling your arms from him “Thank you”

His eyes bounced back and forth between your own for a second before he nodded softly, taring his gaze from you as he stood up straighter, taking a good look around the room “We’ll just wait here for a bit, the rest of the order is going to be working on tracking the shooter down”

You nodded back at him again, taking a few steps aside to rest against the wall, finally fully feeling yourself relax as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you.

“I really am sorry for what I said the other night” the sudden voice breaking the silence caught you by surprise, your brows furrowing as you looked up at him “I was angry and I took it out unfairly on you and for that I’m sorry”

“Is now really the time to be doing this?” you asked with an edge of frustration to your voice, trying to hide it behind a soft laugh.

“You’ve been refusing to talk to me, now’s the first time I’ve really had your attention” he shrugged as if it were the obvious conclusion.

“yeah well try dealing with that for about three years then you’re allowed to complain about feeling ignored to me” you grumbled crossing your arms over your chest, unsure if you had really wanted him to hear those words or not.

His brows furrowed as he looked down at you, genuine curiosity on his voice as he asked “what does that mean?”

And a part of you wanted to scoff, as if he hadn’t noticed how he’d treated you for the entirety of knowing him “This trip is the most I’ve ever talked to you” you huffed, pointedly avoiding eye contact with him “When I first met you you were nice and talkative and normal, and all of a sudden the next time I’m around you’re nothing but cold and distant, could get barely more than two words out of you at a time. Made me wonder what I had done wrong”

You heard his deep sigh at your words, eyes glancing up at his form to see his gaze planted on his shoes, a soft reply coming in a voice you almost couldn’t hear “you didn’t do anything wrong”

Another silence passed between the two of you before you broke it, unsure exactly why you felt the need to justify yourself to him “I get nightmares sometimes, nothing too bad but sometimes it’s like I forget where I am and I can’t breathe and I just need someone there to anchor me, to remind me that I’m okay. Jace has been that person for me a lot so when I woke up I sought him out, I really didn’t think about how I was sneaking out behind your back”

Another sigh came from across the room before you heard a back sliding against the wall, eyes casting up to see Anakin had moved to sitting on the ground, back resting against the wall, eyes planted somewhere across the room before he laughed almost hollowly “I’m an idiot aren’t I”

And you couldn’t help but chuckle at that, moving to sit down next to him, careful to keep a good amount of distance between the two of you as you did so “I mean I certainly won’t argue with you on that point”

And this time his chuckle was realer, a warm sound you felt yourself despite everything drawn into “you know you could’ve come to me”

“If the roles were reversed” you asked him with a soft, sad smile “would you have come to me?”

And he sighed at that, gaze breaking to study your face for a moment, before he shook his head “no I suppose I wouldn’t have”

Another silence fell between the two of you, this one considerably less uncomfortable than the ones before, and for a brief moment you wondered where exactly this left you and Anakin, certainly closer than before but friends? Is that what you wanted? Is just that what you could be okay with?

“The jedi have a code” Anakin’s voice pulled your attention smoothly back to him, finding him a few inches closer than before, you weren’t sure who it was that had shifted “we can’t form attachments”

And you found yourself focusing on how hard the words seemed to be for him to say, how he was practically pulling them out of himself, you eagerly latching onto each one, nodding softly.

“So when I met you and you were incredibly nice and funny and easy to talk to…” he let the end of his sentence hang in the air, let the implication remain unsaid “Obi-wan noticed it before I did, was over my shoulder reminding me of the code right away and I figured if I remained distant then I wouldn’t be tempted to break it”

You felt the air leave your chest realizing that hearing it form Jace was one thing but from Anakin himself was completely different, the last few years spent around him clicking into place in your mind and you felt the need to reach out to him, if not to just hold his hand in yours. “Then why are you my guard every time I need one on Coruscant” you asked instead, forcing the distance back, giving Anakin what he wanted, what he said he wanted “Wouldn’t it have been better to avoid me entirely?”

A bitter laugh came forth at that, Anakin throwing his head back against the wall as he stared up at the ceiling “yeah, yeah it would have.” He paused briefly, a small smile pulling up at the edges of his lips “do you know how excited I get every time I hear you’re going to be on Coruscant? I tell myself every time that I just want to make sure you’re safe, that I want to be able to see for myself that no harm comes to you, but I know they’re all just excuses. Because even if it’s in complete silence I relish every moment spent in your presence”

And a huge part of you felt relief at his words. Relief that your feelings were reciprocated, relief that he didn’t actually hate you as you suspected, relief that it was all finally out in the open. But still there was a new weight on your chest, the burden of the jedi code no longer resting on Anakin’s shoulder’s alone, a burden that as not a jedi it felt unfair for you to carry.

“Where does that leave us now?” you asked quietly, eyes bouncing back and forth between his hopefully.

“The jedi order have their faults” he started after a bit, gaze skipping around the room, everywhere but meeting yours “there’s a few things I just don’t agree with them on and one of them is that having attachments makes me a worse jedi, I’m starting to wonder if remaining at a distance from you is really worth it, after this past week I’m not sure I can do it anymore”

“what if I don’t want you to remain at a distance?” you asked softly, watching almost with amusement as Anakin’s gaze rushed to meet your own, his eyes searching yours with hope for sincerity.

Finally his lips turned up at your words, he gaze flicking down to your lips for a moment, inching himself closer still till your shoulder grazed his “Darling if that’s the case then I shall live to make you regret asking me to stay close”

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