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afatlotofchance · 6 months

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The Prince and the Sorcerer (part 2)

And here's the second part! A trigger warning however: it involves body explosion.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers, two naughty children who wouldn’t stop eating their soup, for they were gluttons with unending stomachs. They kept eating and eating and eating, and their mother told them “Stop eating like that, it is bad for your health!” But they did not listen and kept eating, and eating and eating…

XXX

Evan was impressed by how much weight the prince had gained in merely ten days. Evan had a talent for knowing things – more specifically, for measuring and weighing thing with just a look. It was a talent needed for magic, where everything relied on equivalence and fair exchange. And according to Evan’s eye measurements, the prince had gained roughly two hundred pounds – around twenty pounds per day. The spell worked quite well.

Not that the weight gain was really the doing of the magic. It was the doing of Tristan’s gluttony. But the spell helped.

You see, that was the beauty of this curse. The more the cursed one would be gluttonous and eat in excess, the more weight he would put on, and the faster the weight would be put on, until they finally realized something was wrong and resumed to a more temperate lifestyle – the only way to undo the curse. Or at least to stop the pounds from packing on.

Usually, such a spell worked in an entire year – but with Tristan, Evan had a hunch that the spell would work much faster.

The weight gain had occurred mostly in the prince’s lower parts. Sure, his upper body also got fatter. His breast filled with fat had expanded and flattened, weighed down by its own heaviness, spilling on each side of his chest. His face had widened and rounded up ; pear-shaped before, it was now nearly like a ball, the round cheeks unifying themselves with the big roll of fat that was now his throat, a second blubbery chin under the first one, a small, cute, afraid little chin lost in the growing and devouring mass.

But his legs and belly were hit the hardest with the weight.

His legs, before of a normal shape despite being chubbier and thicker than usual, had now turned into trunks of flab, piles of folds. They grew, puffed out and bloated up into a monstrous pile of blobby flesh. What used to be thighs, calves, bottom, were now just shapeless masses. It went to such a point that Tristan’s kneecaps had sunk, now deep depressions into the buttery limbs. It still didn’t prevent the prince from standing up and walking around – but he had to spread his legs further away, he waddled a lot and bumped into a lot of things and people with his overgrown behind.

His belly was even more impressive. The already big ball of a gut had tripled in size, looking now overtly disproportionate and freakish. It went far, far way in front of him, jiggling with each step, falling down to the ground more and more as the fat piled up, already covering his highness private parts and the top of his doughy thighs. It didn’t even looked like a real belly – it was too grotesque, too out of proportion, too ridiculous, like a reflection of a distorting mirror.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the court. They were used to see the Prince grow fatter every year, but not at such a quick rate. Courtiers whispered among each other – always when his highness wasn’t there to hear. Evan couldn’t say what the King thought of the entire situation, he seemed preoccupied with other businesses – as for the Queen, she apparently decided to prolongate her vacations in her castle, and wasn’t going to be back until Tristan’s birthday. Tristan himself hadn’t seemed to notice the weird weight gain – Evan had realized that the Prince was a bit “thick of the skull” as his own father said. It was just a matter of time before Tristan realized something was wrong.

Evan had been in the first line to see the Prince grow more and more every day, for now he was forced to share the royal meals, Tristan’s orders.

“You need to learn the ways of the court, and to fit with the nobility and royalty. You can’t keep looking a dirty peasant forever now that you are a court sorcerer. You are as ugly as a malnourished ass. I don’t know how I could even stand to be near you for so long. Put on some meat on these bones and look good, for heaven’s sake!”

The King had backed up his son on this decision. Apparently, he also was bugged by Evan’s thinness. Evan had to remind himself that he was indeed in a royal court, where people had to fit to the standards of beauty, and what was beauty right now was plumpness and chubbiness. Evan knew of the history of his country, he knew of the ancient times where kings had to be bald, and where princesses had their feet cut off – these were also standards of beauty, canons of fashion, and yet that would have been seen as outrageous today. He knew that these fashions and trends came and went away, and were just conventions, without any real importance. But he couldn’t possibly explain that to them: for them, appearance was everything. They didn’t had magic, so they had to be impressive, to be charming, for beauty was a power. Ugliness was also a power, but they wouldn’t understand that.

So, in practical terms, Evan had to stuff himself if he wanted to be well-considered at the court. Or just considered at all. Or not kicked out. And he certainly wasn’t going to be kicked out now that his spell was in place.

Sharing his meals with the royal family, he ended up with portions as big as theirs. Not as big as Tristan, of course, he would have died if he ate as much as him, but as big as the King. He also was served an impressive number of bears – again, based on the King’s daily consumption – but Evan got away with it by saying his magic would go out of control if he was too drunk. They still managed to make him gulp down three huge pints of beer a day.

Adding that to the enormous amounts of meat, cheese, fruits, breads, legumes and other foods, Evan often ended up the day gassy and nauseous. He wondered if that was the price to pay for his magic.

XXX

During one of these dinners, as Evan tried to refuse without any success a third serving of meat, King Ralston brought up the subject of clothes.

Indeed, due to his recent gained weight, Tristan had met a number of problem with his current wardrobe. These problems were quite obvious right now, as the Prince gulped down a bowl of soup without any spoon, splattering his lips with a deep green.

His shirt was unable to cover his belly entirely, stopping at the level of his upper abdomen, around his stomach – the same place his belt was now stuck, unable to get under the belly button. Belly button now over-stretched and reddened due to the pressure all the food built up inside. The rest of his shirt was tight to the point of ripping, especially on his ham-like arms and his distended, overflowing chest. His calves were also overflowing, this time over his boots, just like his love handles tried to escape from his pants. Nothing he owned could cover him entirely anymore – everything was too small, too stretched, too tight, unable to close properly, revealing his massive flesh to the world.

And, as King Ralston explained, no matter how fast the royal tailors worked, every time a new suit was ready for Tristan he had already outgrew it.

“Would it be possible to conjure up clothes by magic? It would save everyone a lot of time and money.”

“I am afraid, my King, that such a thing is impossible, Evan explained while massaging his hardened stomach. I can’t simply conjure things up from thin air, only God can do such thing. However I could… well, I could enchant the Prince’s clothes so that they would expand and always adapt themselves to his new girth. You ever heard of these magic boots or armor that fit whoever wears them, no matter their size?”

“That would be splendid indeed! Do that this instant!”

“However, it would need some particular elements. A hundred pounds of gold, fifty pounds of silver, along with three pearls, a red feather and soft, green wood from a young tree.”

“We can easily give you that!” Tristan shouted while munching entire loaves of bread, his green lips now covered in crumbs.

“Yes… But it is the ingredient for enchanting an individual clothe. I will need them renewed for each clothing and each spell. Wouldn’t it be easier if you… well, if you tried to lose weight, prince Tristan? Costs less than enchanting all of your clothes.”

Tristan, who was midway through eating a slice of pie, turned cold, dead eyes towards Evan.

“What?”

Evan started to get nervous.

“Well…”

“It’s rather you that needs to gain weight! You clearly see things upside down. No wonder you make such a bad magician. Servants! Feed him twice of his meal! Don’t let him get way, force him to eat if he resists! I don’t need to lose weight; you need to gain some!”

Evan, not really understanding what was happening to him right now, was dragged by servants to the royal kitchens as a button on the Prince’s shirt popped.

XXX

And the boys ate so much they became bigger and bigger, and one day they wouldn’t fit into their clothes.

“Mother, mother, we can’t put close our shirts, we can’t close our pants!”

“It’s because you eat too much, you naughty boys!”

“No we don’t, and you don’t know anything! Buy us new clothes and we’ll keep eating!”

XXX

You couldn’t have possibly imagined that Tristan would get bigger. And yet, he did.

It was extraordinary. It was amazing. It was frightening.

His belly, of course, was the first thing to expand. It got even further away from the prince’s body. It even started to split in two! One big, enormous, bulging stomach on top, and a lower, huge roll of fat under the belly button, going up to his love handles, now ridiculously small, crushed by the rest of this titanic body. Evan couldn’t stare comfortably at this roll that fell down to the prince’s knees, for he saw in it a twisted smile. The smile of the curse. Evan rather tried to focus his mind on other parts of the Prince’s anatomy. Bad idea. He noticed another, smaller roll, rather a chunk of flesh, hanging under the belly, under the twisted smile. It was something new, that wasn’t there before, and the young magician tried to understood what it was – before realizing with horror that it was supposed to be the skin placed between the belly and the privates, skin that was now so puffed with fat it looked like a grotesque tumor.

His chest had again expanded and widened – his flabs of flesh now nearly as long as his arms, and his nipples as big as his hands. And what hands he had! They were just a set of chubby sausage-like fingers around a big round ball of dough. His hands were too fat for him to close them properly! But these hands were able to close enough to grab whatever food it could and bring them to Tristan’s mouth. To Tristan’s wider, larger head, a blob-like face with a third chin recently formed under the usual two, a fold that spilled over his chest and shoulders. The Prince kept raising his arms up to his collapsed cheeks, thus revealing grotesque arms, with monstrously bloated biceps, so fat that they folded on themselves and hanged grotesquely like melted step pyramids. In fact, his arm’s flesh fell so low it managed to touch his love handles!

Standing up was proving more difficult for Tristan, due to the new state of his legs and behind. Evan had previously described it as a pile of folds, blobs and chunks of flesh piled up into an imitation of a limb; This description was more accurate than ever. The prince’s legs didn’t look like legs anymore. They were rather like… enormous, fat, hairless caterpillars. Now you couldn’t tell where the thigh began and where the calve ended, for both were roughly of the same size, and the thigh had split itself into two massive folds, and the calve was spilling over a bloated and puffed up feet, covering it like some grotesque pale mushroom… You couldn’t even see where the knees were. All you could see was the rough shape of an inverted pyramid, many, many folds and some toes sticking out at one end.

And all of fat, because the prince had again gained two hundred pounds in merely ten days. He must have been around… seven hundred now.

If Evan had such a precise view of the Prince’s anatomy, it was because it was Tristan’s bath time. Now that the Prince was too big even for his own extra-wide bathtub, he had to be washed by his servants with wet clothes. They raised one by one his folds of flesh, scrubbing hard underneath until the flesh was pink and as soft as a baby’s skin. And during this process, Tristan kept eating breads and meat and tomatoes, juice, sauce and blood covering his face, dripping down his chest, that an unfortunate servant had to constantly clean before it got dirty again.

“I remind you, if you ever found some food on my person, give it to me!” Tristan ordered them. “If you keep it to yourself, I’ll have your fingers broken!”

If Evan was present in the royal bathroom, and in a state of nakedness (for yes, our young court wizard was as naked as a worm), it was on Tristan’s request. The Prince had insisted on checking himself Evan’s weight gain.

Evan had put on weight, he had noticed it himself. His arms and chest felt softer than usual, even though they were by no mean bigger. His face was filled out, of a normal size now, without any sunken cheeks. the only two parts where he had obviously gained some pounds were his belly (bloated due to the amount of food and gazes in it, that had now expanded over a now quite uncomfortable belt, and soften up as the rest of his body to the point that when he slapped it the flesh jiggled a bit) and his behind (that was big enough now for him to feel a tightness in his pants, and to have the weird, but quite pleasant, feeling of always sitting on a cushion wherever he stopped to rest). But outside of these two bulges in his silhouette, he didn’t looked overtly fat – which was a relief. Merely living alongside Tristan made him anxious at the mere idea of fatness.

“Not big enough.” judged Tristan.

“I beg your pardon, my lord?”

“You’re not putting enough heart – or rather stomach in it! You need to get bigger. Now you look merely decent. I want you à la mode. Get it? I’ll check you in two weeks, and I hope you’ll be bigger.”

“I… Yes, my lord.”

Evan couldn’t possibly put a fight with Tristan, not now, not like this. Not without some clothes on.

“Speaking of big… I need you to extend my bathtub. It shrunk down, probably due to the humidity. Make it bigger for me, please.”

Evan just bend over and did as he was told. The bathtub was made of wood, so it was very easy to made it expand – you just had to give back a bit of life into the material, and then make it grow like a plant or a tree would. Just a bit faster.

“Is it big enough for you, now, my lord?”

Tristan tried to enter it. He got in his legs, his behind, his backfat, but his belly just hang over the bathtub’s side.

“Not big enough. Bigger!” he shouted before resuming his sloppy eating.

Evan sighed and made the bathtub big enough for Tristan’s belly to fit into it. The wooden thing was now nearly as big as the entire room.

Tristan said something between his munching and slurping. Tristan wasn’t sure if it was a “Thank you” or a “You can go now”, but he gladly got away from the room.

Evan was scared. Oh yes, he was. Because without the curse’s magic, the Prince would have had his legs and feet crushed already. His bones would have shattered under his own weight. Without the curse’s magic, his flesh would have been infected and rotting already. Without the curse’s magic, his heart would be beating so fast it would be ready to explode. The only thing that allowed him to speak and breathe normally without sneezing, snoring and choking was the curse.

Evan hoped Tristan would soon realize his mistake and take on a life of moderation. He truly hoped so, and he prayed all the deities he knew for the Prince to realize the danger of his condition before it was too late.

What Evan was the most scared of was that… the Prince seemed to have… grown. Three, maybe four inches taller. The spell book said nothing about the cursed one growing in height!

XXX

“Evan, I am… worried about Tristan.”

King Ralston had asked for the court wizard to sit next to him during the evening’s banquet. Tristan wasn’t present – he had requested for his meal to be served in his private quarters.

“You are worried about your son’s new girth, I guess?”

Ralston, his round face already reddened by the alcohol, nodded.

“He always was a big kid, and we are all so proud of him for being so fleshy and wealthy in body… But now this is becoming ridiculous, and grotesque. He never became so large so quickly, never before. It is almost as if… he was sick.”

Evan forced himself to finish his fourth pint of beer. Whenever you sat next to the king, and spoke with him, you had to share his drinks. And let’s just say Ralston was a heavy drinker.

“Yet he seems in… in perfect health.” answered Evan while holding a burp down.

“Our physicians detected no sickness in him. Yet I feel he suffers from some sort of abnormal condition. I was thus wondering if magic was maybe to blame for that?”

Evan tried to say no to a servant that was pouring him a fifth pint of beer, but the young man thought it was merely an answer to Ralston’s question, and so did the king.

“Are you sure no curse plagues my son?”

Evan shivered.

“No. No curse at all. I put a protection spell around his highness, and I check regularly if there are no imp or demon in him. No, I am afraid that his weight gain is due to his own greediness and gluttony.”

The king was looking at Evan with his cold, piercing, staring glare that made more than one coward. Contrary to most people, who got cloudy eyes when drunk, Ralston’s eye-strength seemed to intensify.

“You are not hiding something from me, are you?”

Evan, nervous, gulped down half of his pint to give him some courage.

“Not at all! I assure you, your son is bringing this onto himself entirely! If he doesn’t act soon, he will be his own undoing!”

The King took his eyes off Evan and looked sadly at his plate. Evan, still nervous and feeling incredibly guilty, finished his fifth pint, and couldn’t hold a loud belch.

The servant nearby took it as a signal that the young wizard had room for more, and brought him a roasted chicken.

Evan looked at him with the desperate eyes of a man who begged for mercy. The servant took it as him asking for more, and added roasted potatoes on the side.

XXX

And the boys ate so much they became fatter and fatter, and one day they couldn’t even pass the door.

“Mother, mother, we are stuck in the door!”

“It’s because you eat too much, you naughty boys!”

“We eat a lot it is true, but it is certainly not the cause of that. Break the door and make it larger, and we’ll keep eating!”

XXX

“Ten more days…” Evan thought to himself. “Ten more days, and what? Four hundred pounds more?”

It was terrifying. A true nightmare. Evan had unleashed pure horror upon this world.

He breathed in and out to calm himself before entering the Prince’s bedroom.

“Your new throne is ready, your Highness.”

Tristan, his mouth full, shouted something that sounded like “Perfect!” and made a sign to his servants to stand back for he was going to lift himself. He devoured the last slice of his cake – a strawberry cake as big as a carriage’s wheel – adding frosting to the white and pink goo that covered his face, and leaving crumbs upon his heavily-stained shirt. Once his hands and mouth empty, Tristan slowly rose himself up.

He was barely leaving his bedroom, these last days. He was now so big that moving and walking around was a real problem. He spent his days on his bed – or rather a parody of a bed, big piles of cushions and pillows on the floor for each wooden frame would break under him – being fed by incredibly nervous and disgusted servants. Sometimes even had shovels nearby to feed the Prince. Shovels!

Tristan walked towards the door. Evan quickly backed up into the hallway before getting crushed – each step of the obscenely obese blob of a boy made the stone floor tremble.

The Prince stopped right in front of the door.

“Ah…” he grunted.

He tried to squeeze himself through. Without any success.

“Bring workers here! Break the walls! The door is too small, I can’t fit through!” the Prince ordered.

Evan looked at the servants running away, terrified of the monster he had created.

XXX

Evan role had been to magically expand Tristan’s golden throne. He had now gotten much too vast to possibly fit in it, and with his twentieth birthday coming soon, he possibly couldn’t afford not to have a throne to sit into. It had costed a lot of golden coins, objects and jewelry – since Evan couldn’t possibly conjure gold out of thin air, he had to melt already existing ore into the throne to expand it – but the job was finally done. A throne wide enough to host at least three King Ralston, a fourth one if the other snuggled a bit.

“His highness, Prince Tristan of Bundruw, for the testing of the new royal throne!”

Everyone gasped when the humongous pachyderm entered the room. It looked human, and yet it did not. No one could have possibly guessed a human could grow that fat. And yet Prince Tristan was there, as big as a church, and walking towards his new throne with the same, cruel, wicked glee, and the same piercing, beautiful, but cold, disdaining blue eyes. A beautiful face that now just looked ridiculous and grotesque on top of such a monstrous body.

The prince towered over everyone in the room – the courtiers, the servants, Evan. He had gotten even taller than his own father! Evan guessed he must have been… five, if not six heads taller than his original height.

“It didn’t know the curse would do that…” Evan said to himself. “I didn’t know… it were just childish pictures in a book… I didn’t know…”

Tristan, his clothes soiled with sauces and his face smeared with food, sat on the throne.

“Big enough for me. Now food! Food! Bring me food!” he shouted.

Only then Evan dared to raise his head and look at the Prince, and what he had become.

He saw… balls and folds of flesh and fat spilling on top of the throne’s large arms. He saw a titanic belly that spilled on the Prince’s lap so much that it buried his entire legs under a foot-deep heap of lard. Under this behemoth of a torso, Evan saw the only part of his Highness’ lower body that was still visible – his two feet, puffed up like balloons, almost entirely round, and yet still fitting into his blue, pointy shoes. The young wizard also saw the two repulsing, overflowing, wineskin-like pectorals, now the size of the plates on which the roasted swans were usually served, hanging from each side of his anatomy like two fruits from the land of the giants. And finally, Evan got the strength to look at the Prince’s face – at the clod of butter, the clump of blubber that was now his face. A neckless head with two cheeks so swollen and fat they actually fell down and rested on his shoulders.

Evan couldn’t bear such a sight. He knew it was all his fault. He was the one who had succumbed to frustration and wrath. He was the one who used this magic his master had begged him not to use. He was the one who acted out of spite on the Prince. He had foolishly hoped the Prince would change his ways – but look at him! He was barely human anymore! And all the difficulties he encountered, it was Evan’s role to sweep them away! A bigger bath, a bigger throne, bigger clothes! Evan realized now, but too late, that the Prince was incapable of feeling any shame or guilt whatsoever. It may have been why he lacked basic human decency or common empathy. What a fool he had been!

Evan, unable to look further as an entire roasted bull was presented to Tristan, left the throne room.

If he had stayed a bit longer, he would have noticed Tristan’s enchanted clothes… tattering. On one of his arms so big he had trouble bending them… a seam ripped. And on his gargantuan belly that expanded by the minute… a button of his shirt popped off.

XXX

“Come on! Think! Search! There must be something!”

Evan opened the last of his grimoires. He looked through every chapter, every page, every line. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No mention or indication of the curse – or how to reverse it. The curse only existed in this damn old tome, that his master had warned him about many times. It was there, with its silly rhymes, stupid little story and childish drawings.

And one word, written in big, red letters.

“EXPLODE”.

Evan couldn’t possibly let Prince Tristan explode!

“There must be another way! There is always another way! That’s the basis of magic, to find another way! The Prince can’t possibly be stubborn enough to refuse to change his ways despite the harm it does to him! Right? Right? But he doesn’t know he will explode, and for him fat is health and beauty, and he doesn’t care, he has this weird mind, he just wants to eat, eat and eat! Maybe he got addicted to the food? The curse augments gluttony right? To the point of making him blind and oblivious to everything? No, it can’t be… But if… isn’t that how the curse works? It looked like so. Clouded mind, disturbed judgement… But then how could the victim decide to change its ways of life on its own? The curse would just bit its own tail and doom the victim to death! It would be stupid! Doesn’t work… but…”

Evan stopped his babbling. Master Rummuel said… that it was akin to fairy magic, right? The fair folk! Of course! It would explain why the curse would be such a deadly trap! What could you except from the magic of amoral beings living in dreams and mixing up time and space?

Evan, shivering, took the last slice of the kidney pie that the servants had put on his table and swallowed it. It was just to calm his nerves, but as he did so, he wondered. “When did I ate the rest of the pie?”. He then wondered. “Why are the servants even bringing me a kidney pie? I usually have a blackberry one in the morning and a gooseberry in the morning…” He then wondered “Since when do the servants bring me berry pies in my room for me to eat later?”. And that was with this third and final question that Evan suddenly realized something.

A flood of memories came to his mind. Details he hadn’t paid attention to. Things he did without thinking of. Requests he made that he quickly forgot afterward.

He remembered the stress of the whole situation. He remembered thinking that food was an easy way to ease his mind. He remembered talking about his favorite pies, the ones his mother made on the great occasions, with the servants. He also remembered how he asked for them to leave him a snack in the morning, to be ready to live another awful day, and one in the evening, to rest from his exhausting diurnal activities. He remembered his hand moving on its own to snatch food whenever he could. He remembered munching something whenever Tristan shouted his name or insulted him. He remembered gulping down pints of beer at the banquets whenever the King looked at him for too long – to look relaxed and undisturbed, so that His Highness wouldn’t guess he was the one who cursed his son. He remembered how guilt burdened him so much that he couldn’t even pass in front of Tristan’s door without some comfort food to swallow. He saw the ghost of the myriad of things he had snacked upon during all this time – bread and pies, pickles and biscuits, melon slices and pastas.

By the heavenly lords, Evan had turned into a stress-eater! And not just any stress eater, a constantly-eating stress-eater automaton! How come he hadn’t realized it sooner? It was as if his memories had been blacked out, or if he had acted when dissociated from his body. Yet he had noticed himself becoming heavier. He had even asked for a new belt because his old one didn’t fit anymore!

Evan paused to ponder about this last thought. A new belt? He hadn’t…

Fear froze the young magician’s blood in his veins.

He slowly took off his clothes and, not having a mirror, decided to use his third sight.

Yes. It was as he dreaded. Tristan wasn’t the only one who had gained quite a weight. Evan now had a big, round ball of a gut. A “beer sack” as the people in his village used to say. A beer sack, at his age? Yes, a big, pumpkin-like paunch!

What the hell was going on here? Everything was going array! It was as if Evan wasn’t in control anymore!

Another, final memory emerged from the fog in Evan’s head. A thing his master had told him, long ago.

“The magic change the magician. A spellcaster is defined by his spells, not the other way around. Just like the flow of water digs the land to create riverbeds, the water itself is shaped by the land, into a river. As a result, healers become nurturing people, always keen on the second chance, just like those that abuse of the transformation spell begin questioning everything and forgetting who they really are. Take a wizard that uses his magic to create a huge barrier around an entire town, and uses all of his magic to maintain said wall. Well, years after years, the wizard will change. He will become hard. Tough. Unmovable. He will dislike moving too much, he will stop listening to other people. He will become single-minded and dedicated. Soon, he’ll be just like his wall. This is the price to pay for magic. At least, one of them.”

Evan gulped down.

“Master…” he whispered to himself. “What’s the price for a foolish boy who cursed a glutton prince to become an all-devouring mountain?”

Evan pinched his belly. His fingers dug into his doughy flesh. He had a pretty good idea of what the answer would be.

XXX

And the boys ate so much they became rounder and rounder, and one day the floor broke under them.

“Mother, mother, the floor break under us!”

“It’s because you eat too much, you naughty boys!”

“It is true we eat too much, but eating is good! So move our room downstairs, and we’ll be able to eat as much as we like!”

XXX

Evan looked in the mirror one last time. No third sight. Just a plain old mirror.

“This is it. I am officially part of the court. One of them.”

What made him say that? The simple fact that he couldn’t recognize himself anymore.

Their work to fatten him up had worked very well. His chest was now full, fat and falling down. He had love handles, with little rolls on top of them, and plum thighs tightening his clothes. His cheeks had gone soft and red and, of course, he now sported a big, curvy, fleshy belly. He had now the complete paraphernalia of a respectable courtier.

People were treating him differently now. The noblemen were talking with him in lengthy discussions. The ladies were complimenting him. Some people had advised him on the latest fashions in clothing and makeup. Two sisters, daughters of some duke, had expressed in half-spoken word a wish for him to become their suitor. Evan wasn’t sure what to think of all that. He wasn’t even sure what to think of his own reflection! Not only had he put on sixty pounds, he had also his wardrobe completely renewed, since the old clothes were all too small. And for today, for the Prince’s birthday, he had to wear one of the most trendy and expensive costumes the court provided him with.

A tunic-like doublet of green velvet, which was really just some sort of short-sleeved gold-lined shirt ending up as some sort of skirt covering his privates and his fleshy behind. A belt color of the sand digging into the fat of his waist, a wide collar of the same sandy color covering his shoulders, hose of a clear, light red, and finally some dark, pointy slippers. Everything skin-tight, of course, according to the fashion Tristan started at the court a few years ago. Evan feared that one of the buttons of the shirt-doublet would pop off.

“To be forced to suffocate in your own clothes just to imitate a spoiled overweight Prince… He thinks he can just turn everyone else into copies of himself, huh?”

“And what have you turned Tristan into?” whispered a little voice in his mind.

Evan tried to ignore it, but it came back, again and again, until he had to scarf down an entire loaf of bread to shush it.

Immediately, he had a vision. He saw himself at the banquet of the Prince’s birthday, eating so much and with such gluttony that, actually, one of the buttons of the doublet popped of. And this scene had a dreadful feeling of déjà-vu because he saw it many times before – with Tristan. Was it a magical premonition? Or just his own imagination?

XXX

Evan was determined to stop this curse, to take it off the Prince. He had tried before, without any success but he was sure that if he would concentrate enough, with all of his power, he would be able to undo it. He placed it in him, he should be able to take it off!

Everybody had reunited in the great all. All the courtiers, all of the nobility, all of the most estranged members of the royal family. Most of these aunts, uncles and cousins were giants of some sort, extremely fat or monstrously muscular. And some had even weirder deformities - for example a prince had a behind the size of two pumpkins on an otherwise thin body! King Ralston was here, apparently already drunk and burping loudly, talking with his brothers. They had a very strong family resemblance, all blond, bulky and round-faced. One was clean-shaved, and looked like a much younger version of the King, while the other was taller and thinner, without a beard but with the thickest and most impressive mustache Evan had ever seen. Evan suspected the clean-shaved to be Mister Pumpkin-Behind’s father, they had a certain look-alike-ness when seen from behind. Queen Ermina had also managed to come. She was a curvy, but beautiful woman, with full lips and pink cheeks. He couldn’t see her hair under her cap, but Evan had heard she had beautiful light-red hair. She seemed to be one austere woman, only showing on her face three expressions: disappointment, disdain and disinterest. Evan thought it was a waste to have such a pretty face pouting all day long.

But the guest of honor, the now twenty years old Tristan was still not here. Evan looked anxiously through every door, waiting for him to appear.

When a nervous servant announced the Prince, Evan started to heat his magic. Only to drop it all in shock when Tristan was pushed – almost rolled – into the room. For one moment of bravery, he had forgotten the grotesque horror of his own spell, but now the truth was facing him with its ugly, abominable face.

Six hundred new pounds had been added to Tristan’s mass, making him lose any resemblance he had with a human being. He was just a ball of greasy, sweaty lard. The enchantment of his clothes had worn of, unable to resist such an inhuman weight. His shirt, his vest, his pant and his belt, everything has ripped, snapped or exploded, leaving him clothed in very expensive and very colorful rags. Once inside the room, Tristan started to walk – or rather to do a repulsive parody of a walk, half wobbling due to his enormous girth and high height making him lose his balance, half dragging his heavy mass on the floor. His feet looked so tiny, crushed by legs that reminded Evan of several Berkshire pigs put on top of each other.

The bone structure of the Prince must have been completely dissolved by now, and his organs smothered and flattened by the fat. His arms were obviously disjointed from his body, his torso was so big that no spinal column could have possibly been able to link his head to his pelvis, and his head looked like it had melted inside his body. By all the higher powers, he was almost completely round! A globe of flesh with stumps of fat for limbs and a tumor for a head! It wasn’t a Prince, or a human, it was a monster! A filthy, disgusting monster covered in sauces, crumbles, blood and rotten food, only able to scream “Food! Food! More food!”. Evan wondered if Tristan had gotten completely insane by now.

Since his arms were too short to reach his head, he relied entirely on the servants to eat. The terrified young men had to climb on a ladder to feed their highness – one man put his hand too close to the mouth of Tristan, and he nearly bit them off.

Evan, tears in his eyes, turned his head away, only to look at the terrified faces of the courtiers, all mesmerized by the horrific sight of the round Prince.

Evan had to do something. He was going to save Tristan, no matter what.

But as he got his spells ready, a tiny voice whispered in his mind. Not the same one as previously, another one. Less insidious, much calmer.

“Do you remember when Tristan ordered for a servant who spilled hot milk on his clothes to have one of his fingers cut off? Or maybe was it two?”

Evan paused for a moment.

XXX

And one day the younger of the brothers said to other:

“Mother may be right. I can barely walk and I can’t see my toes. I think we eat too much and we ought to stop.”

But the older brother did not listen and went on gulping his soup:

“Stop if you like, that’ll make more for me. I’ll eat and eat until the end of me!”

XXX

Evan tried everything. He couldn’t. The curse wouldn’t bulge. It stayed there, as Tristan kept eating mountains of food and gaining dozens of pounds by the minute. And these voices in his head kept reminding him all these things… That Tristan was spoiled, that Tristan was cruel, that Tristan had no empathy, that he would make a cruel tyrant, that the kingdom would be better without him… And Evan had to admit it, they were right. All these voices were right. Tristan deserved to be removed from the throne.

But not like that. Not killed. Evan didn’t want to be a murderer. He didn’t want to kill. That was one of the rules his master had taught him. “Everything seems so easier if we just could murder everyone with our powers. We have to resist this temptation. Those that kill are the weak ones.”

And Evan was weak. Not strong enough to remove the curse. He couldn’t call his master now, it was too late – and how could he explain that? How could he admit to him that he betrayed his trust and used one of the spells he advised him against?

The rags of the Prince had now disappeared in his rolls, leaving him completely naked. Hopefully, or rather “unfortunately hopefully”, his privates were now invisible, completely buried under his own flab.

Evan, with teary eyes and a bilious mouth, thought in panic about what could possibly break the spell.

He stopped thinking upon hearing… nothing. The silence. A complete silence. He cleaned his eyes, and looked at Tristan, who had stopped eating. The Prince now looked at the ceiling, moaning. He let out a small burp, and said in a clear, distinct voice.

“I… don’t think I’m hungry anymore. I’m… full. Stuffed to the brim.”

Evan, for one moment, had hope. Was Tristan ready to stop his gluttony? Would he stop eating? Would he, for once, show some temperance?

“If I eat another bite, I might explode!” the Prince laughed.

No one laughed with him. The smile of Evan was now paralyzed with fear.

“Ah… I know how to joke. Bring me a blueberry pie, you rat-faced scarecrow!”

The servant in question nervously took a blueberry pie and threw it in Tristan’s open mouth, now as wide as an oven.

Immediately, his throne broke under his weight, and his stomach started growling.

Evan, knowing what would happened, got up from his chair and away from the tables.

The weird sound inside Tristan had now turned into some sort of slosh. There was also another sound… like something tightening. Like skin tightening.

Tristan let out another burp, a deep and gurgling one.

“I… I don’t feel very good.” He said.

Evan was now running for the doors. And as the sloshing sound became a powerful rushing, and the tightening sound became high-pitched, Evan put his hand on his ears and ran in the hallway.

The last sound he heard before running away was the Prince’s cry of surprise. As if he had finally realized something.

XXX

And he ate so much he became bigger and rounder and fatter and rounder and bigger,

Until one day he finally exploded.

As for the brother he slimmed down and found a wife

And they had children in a house

Built over the exploded remains

Of his own fat brother child.

#weight gain #overweight #weight gain fiction #kink fiction #obese #my writing #commission #fat

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clawheld · 1 year

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Aymeric's Gay Fail: my brief analysis of Ishgardian sexual baggage

-Aymeric de Borel is gay, but he can't score

-To preface, I envision Aymeric as kind of a "bisexual gay guy", as in, his same-sex attraction is so fraught and such a source of tension in his formative years that it probably takes up more space in his mind than his opposite-sex attraction. That, and the rigid expectations and social roles that come with marriage and procreation (especially in the upper class) are upsetting and alien to someone like Aymeric. So whether he is bi or a gay man I think he has spent his adulthood thinking he's better off not getting married.

-My interpretation of Ishgardian culture is that between their fixations on procreation, birthright, gender roles, and sexual purity, it is probably the most homophobic culture in ffxiv. I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to say they've outlawed gay sex acts. Rather:

-Same-sex desire, like the temptation to become a dragon-loving heretic, is a temptation that anyone can fall victim to. The potential is there no matter who you are. Especially men, because women are just assumed not to have enough sexual agency to pursue each other. Women have the agency to seduce and tempt, but sex is an Act done by men to the objects of their desire, by Ishgardian logic.

-The stakes of the thing are not very similar to the issue of Dravanian heresy; Ishgard has not been and is not embroiled in a holy war against an army of seductive gay men (at time of writing). But just like the also-prevalent issue of nobles siring bastards, its something that the Holy See would really like to suppress.

-Now, how do you prevent these aberrant sex acts from happening? You refuse to give those acts a name.

-And so Ishgard has a culture of censorship and sexual ignorance. There are still LGBT Ishgardians and Coerthans, because duh, obviously there are. But its common for them to not know "what to do" the first time they get the opportunity to act on their desires.

-Ishgardian sexual naivete is a persistent stereotype in other parts of Eorzea, mostly because so many Ishgardians don't feel safe having sex (or don't know where to seek it out) until they leave home. Most cruising and community-building takes place in the Brume, where queen-y peasants drink throat-burning booze and play-act as knights and princesses and lusty dragons.

-That, or they enter military service.

-Now I return to Aymeric. We know he has left Ishgardian soil plenty of times. Has he gotten the chance to experiment? No, I don't think so. Not even after he's come to terms with being attracted to men.

-The thought of having a secret double life just to get away with experiencing basic physical intimacy is extremely depressing from where he's standing. Embarrassing, too. He's in his early thirties, and is a man of high standing, and he has as much sexual experience as an unmarried lordling. Maybe if he had been allowed to step away from being a public figure, he could... But that didn't happen.

-Realistically, I see Aymeric being the kind of guy who can find love and have his late gay adolescence in his mid thirties or early forties.

-In the meantime he's really just left with his imagination, and what few details he can glean. Once in a while, when he is traveling on behalf of the state, he might even dare to read whatever trashy gay Eorzean bodice-rippers they have in Ul'dah or Limsa. But its still only his imagination. Only one lonely man reading a book in a room alone. He still doesn't even know what lube is.

-He couldn't get the finger in.

#long for a tumblr post but brief compared to what it couldve been #now i gota go have dinner and get back to writing things that actually matter <3

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lunarblazes · 1 year

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hello beloved mutual and friend. honestly all I’ve got for a prompt is. idk thinks about the electricity /humming coming off the rift and grian being down there constantly with it? no thoughts head empty have a good day<3

Well, it’s not like it’s Grian’s fault that his experiment got ruined and the Rift has decided to keep drawing him in. The sculk really doesn’t like that. Grian’s not sure how he feels about it, personally, but he's starting to think the strange entities fighting over him don't particularly care about his feelings. Which is rather rude of them, in his opinion.

He sits by the sculk one evening, waiting for it to squirm its way up his arm and into his feathers, because the Rift had decided to try to drag him in again and he was feeling spiteful. The Rift's lingering influence prevents his vengeance from going full-force, but it's about the principle, anyways, and lately the Rift's started humming again.

He's... well. He's a little scared of it, actually.

Grian doesn't know what'll come from the Rift, nor does he know what could happen to him if he steps through. He doesn't know what it is, even, only that it's part of him, now, inexorably linked and inseparable from himself. And that's a little scary, considering how badly it wants to pull him in. He closes his eyes, leaning his head against the rocky, sculk-covered wall behind him, and falls asleep.

When he wakes, it's dark outside. He's not sure how he knows--his eyesight's been getting even worse with the sculk growing--but it's definitely nighttime. Theoretically, according to Grian's observations, this means that the sculk should be in control. It's depressing that Grian's started counting the hours during which other strange forces have control over his entire being, but whatever. The point is that, as Grian wakes, he realizes that the sculk isn't protecting him. It's gone dormant. He can feel his blood bubbling in his veins, his heart skipping beats to hum along with the insistent, persuasive fissure beneath his hiding spot.

He sighs and dives to the ground, catching himself lazily on his second pair of wings. It's all he can do to convince himself he's still present and awake as the static pulls him closer, as if he were attached to a fishing rod. His body is moving completely on its own. He can't stop it, though he forcibly tries to get it to chill out by attempting to trip himself on a stone. It's no use. The rest of him just keeps walking, slowly striding towards the Rift.

It is beautiful, at least. The violet swirls shine like no color of light he's ever seen. Scientifically, he knows that's impossible, but the Rift did it anyway. The thought that the Rift might have actually modified his eyes just as the sculk did crosses his mind as he draws steadily closer. Vaguely, he thinks he wants to show the Rift his cask of Amontillado.

The Rift is pleasant, at first, when you stick your face in. He knows this because he's done it before, as involuntarily as he is now, and he at least counts that as a blessing. Usually, upon contact, the Rift loosens its grip, instead focusing its energy on absorbing him entirely, which isn't as pleasant, but it meant he could wriggle his way out.

Neither of these things happen as it continues to pull him in. Grian's body remains limp and unresponsive as he frantically tries to wake up his motor control. Nothing.

The Rift is pleasant, at first, but then, evidently, your body realizes it needs air. It relinquishes its control, finally, but Grian's too far in to get out on his own now, and his vision is already starting to fuzz at the edges. He tries to gasp in a breath only to realize the purple void around him is thick and viscous, not empty space, and he chokes on it. Grian tries to crawl his way through, unable to shake the insistent feeling that if he can just get through the portal, he'll be okay, but--to no avail.

He's left with a vague yet sharp feeling of disappointment and reproach that definitely isn't his own as he blacks out, his vision dancing with incomprehensible amounts of stars.

#grian #hermitcraft #lunar prophecies #lunar wishes #hello losers i want more rift fic so bad. here. my offering #thought too hard about what an in universe server crash would look like #decided grian gets to suffocate for a while now #have FUNNNN

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stonedregulus · 2 years

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September Reads

(Yes, I am very behind. My apologies.)

I read 12 books this month and 0 fics... Apparently I was in an Original Fiction mood. Oops! These are in the order I read them.

The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen

Summary:

Caleb Michaels is a sixteen-year-old champion running back. Other than that his life is pretty normal. But when Caleb starts experiencing mood swings that are out of the ordinary for even a teenager, his life moves beyond “typical.” Caleb is an Atypical, an individual with enhanced abilities. Which sounds pretty cool except Caleb's ability is extreme empathy—he feels the emotions of everyone around him. Being an empath in high school would be hard enough, but Caleb's life becomes even more complicated when he keeps getting pulled into the emotional orbit of one of his classmates, Adam. Adam's feelings are big and all-consuming, but they fit together with Caleb's feelings in a way that he can't quite understand. Caleb's therapist, Dr. Bright, encourages Caleb to explore this connection by befriending Adam. As he and Adam grow closer, Caleb learns more about his ability, himself, his therapist—who seems to know a lot more than she lets on—and just how dangerous being an Atypical can be.

Page Count: 352 Genre: YA My Rating: ★★★/5 My Review:

Okay, I had to work for this one. The plot was a bit slow—I feel like it didn’t start to pick up until around Chapter 20. I am also confused by and why the author decided to introduce new characters and start adding on a deeper plot with only a third of the book left. Those loose ends were not tied up at all so I’m hoping the author wraps it all up and answers questions in the 2nd and 3rd books. I think the story line was fine, and the it was written well. I related far too deeply to Adam. I love him and I just want to protect him from the world. LGBTQ+ rep, yay! TW: self-harm, depression, anxiety, homophobia, homophobic slur

Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell

Summary:

While the Iskat Empire has long dominated the system through treaties and political alliances, several planets, including Thea, have begun to chafe under Iskat's rule. When tragedy befalls Imperial Prince Taam, his Thean widower, Jainan, is rushed into an arranged marriage with Taam's cousin, the disreputable Kiem, in a bid to keep the rising hostilities between the two worlds under control. But when it comes to light that Prince Taam's death may not have been an accident, and that Jainan himself may be a suspect, the unlikely pair must overcome their misgivings and learn to trust one another as they navigate the perils of the Iskat court, try to solve a murder, and prevent an interplanetary war... all while dealing with their growing feelings for each other.

Page Count: 432 Genre: Sci-Fi, Romance, Space Opera My Rating: ★★★★/5 My Review:

Court politics, galactic treaties, murder, & slow-burn romance. Its like RWRB meets Star Wars. I’ve actually never read a space opera before but I really enjoyed this! Also hello arranged marriage trope?! Yes gimme gimme.

The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper

Summary:

As a successful social media journalist with half a million followers, seventeen-year-old Cal is used to sharing his life online. But when his pilot father is selected for a highly publicized NASA mission to Mars, Cal and his family relocate from Brooklyn to Houston and are thrust into a media circus. Amidst the chaos, Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon, another “Astrokid,” and finds himself falling head over heels—fast. As the frenzy around the mission grows, so does their connection. But when secrets about the program are uncovered, Cal must find a way to reveal the truth without hurting the people who have become most important to him.

Page Count: 336 Genre: YA My Rating: ★★★/5 My Review:

This was really cute. I felt like every character was relatable at some point which was nice but I had a hard time grabbing on to one specific character to make my blorbo. Idk if that makes sense but I normally like to kind of latch onto one character and instead I felt like I was just kind of floating between a few. The MC is a bit whiney but it’s a cute story! I just felt a bit disappointed with the ending. It kind of felt like ‘idk how to end this sooooo uhm, the end?’

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer

Summary:

Two boys, alone in space. After the first settler on Titan trips her distress signal, neither remaining country on Earth can afford to scramble a rescue of its own, and so two sworn enemies are installed in the same spaceship.

Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor, with no memory of a launch. There’s more that doesn’t add up: Evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship’s operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed—not when he’s rescuing his own sister. In order to survive the ship’s secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust one another… especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.

Page Count: 416 Genre: YA, Sci-Fi, Dystopian My Rating: ★★★★★/5 My Review:

This… This is going to be the book that I judge all books on for the rest of my life. Holy shit. No, really, holy shit. I don’t want to over-hype this but I cannot stress enough how good this was. You have got to read this. At first I was laughing because the humor was on point and then suddenly it turned into “Oh fucking shit, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?!” This book gave me an existential crisis. I just… wow. Okay? Just wow.

The Temperature of Me and You by Brian Zepka

Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Dylan Highmark thought his winter was going to be full of boring shifts at the Dairy Queen, until he finds himself in love with a boy who's literally too hot to handle. Dylan has always wanted a boyfriend, but the suburbs surrounding Philadelphia do not have a lot in the way of options. Then, in walks Jordan, a completely normal (and undeniably cute) boy who also happens to run at a cool 110 degrees Fahrenheit. When the boys start spending time together, Dylan begins feeling all kinds of ways, and when he spikes a fever for two weeks and is suddenly coughing flames, he thinks he might be suffering from something more than just a crush. Jordan forces Dylan to keep his symptoms a secret. But as the pressure mounts and Dylan becomes distant with his closest friends and family, he pushes Jordan for answers. Jordan's revelations of why he's like this, where he came from, and who's after him leaves Dylan realizing how much first love is truly out of this world. And if Earth supports life that breathes oxygen, then love can only keep Jordan and Dylan together for so long.

Page Count: 416 Genre: YA, Paranormal, Fantasy My Rating: ★★★/5 My Review:

This was good but… I dunno. It lacked a bit. Like the story line was fine but it just kind of felt like… Idk I felt like there could’ve been more. I wanted moreeeee.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Summary:

Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school’s resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He’s determined to find out what happened and tie up some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

Page Count: 352 Genre: YA, Paranormal, Fantasy My Rating: ★★★★★/5 My Review:

If you’re going to read only one book from this list, let it be this one. HOLY WOW. FANTASTIC TRANS REP!!! I felt so seen. I loved all of the characters and ughhhhh *feral cat noises clawing off own skin* It is SO GOOD. The story line is incredible. There’s just so much. I didn’t feel like there were any loose ends, everything made sense. I love Yadriel so much I would literally kill for him.

The Extraordinaries, Flash Fire, & Heat Wave by TJ Klune

Summary:

1) Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right? After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick's best friend (and maybe the love of his life). 2) Nick landed himself the superhero boyfriend of his dreams, but with new heroes arriving in Nova City it’s up to Nick and his friends to determine who is virtuous and who is villainous. Which is a lot to handle for a guy who just wants to finish his self-insert bakery AU fanfic. 3) Nick, Seth, Gibby, and Jazz are back in action bringing justice, protection, and disaster energy to the people of Nova City. An unexpected hero returns to Nova City and crash lands into Nick's home, upturning his life, his family, and his understanding of what it means to be a hero in the explosive finale of the thrilling and hilarious Extraordinaries trilogy by New York Times bestselling author TJ Klune.

Page Count: 400, 384, 384 Genre: YA, Fantasy My Rating: ★★★★/5 My Review:

The relationship between Nick and his dad is just *chef's kiss*. They're fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard through all three of these. Like constant laughter. I cannot even, so fucking FUNNNNNYYY. I love that the second two books really address the sort of weird cop hero worship of the first book and talked about the BLM movement in a great way. Overall a really cute superhero series with great LGBTQ rep.

What If It’s Us, & Here’s To Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

Summary:

1) Arthur is only in New York for the summer, but if Broadway has taught him anything, it’s that the universe can deliver a showstopping romance when you least expect it. Ben thinks the universe needs to mind its business. If the universe had his back, he wouldn’t be on his way to the post office carrying a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things. But when Arthur and Ben meet-cute at the post office, what exactly does the universe have in store for them? Maybe nothing. After all, they get separated. Maybe everything. After all, they get reunited. But what if they can’t quite nail a first date . . . or a second first date . . . or a third? What if Arthur tries too hard to make it work . . . and Ben doesn’t try hard enough? What if life really isn’t like a Broadway play? But what if it is? 2) Ben has spent his first year of college working on his fantasy manuscript with his writing partner Mario, who is a great Spanish tutor, and an even better kisser. So why can’t he stop thinking about the fact that Arthur’s back in town two years after they called it quits? Arthur is in New York for a dream internship on Broadway, with a boyfriend back at home that he couldn't be happier with. But when he comes upon Ben cuddled up with a mystery boy, he starts to wonder if his feelings for Ben ever truly went away. Even as the boys try to focus on their futures, they can't seem to help running into each other in the present. Is the universe forcing them to question if they’re actually meant to be? Possibly not. After all, things didn’t work the first time around. Possibly yes. After all, the sparks are still flying. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and raise a glass. Here’s to celebrating old friends! Here’s to embracing new beginnings! Here’s to believing in second chances!

Page Count: 480, 448 Genre: YA, Romantic Comedy My Rating: ★★★/5 My Review:

These are cute rom coms. The first one had A LOT of Harry Potter and JKR mentions but it was published right before she was outed as a TERF and the second one doesn’t mention HP at all so that’s good. Over all an easy read if you need something chill.

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

Summary:

An incendiary and utterly compelling thriller with a shocking twist that delves deep into the heart of institutionalized racism, from an exceptional new YA voice. Welcome to Niveus Private Academy, where money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because anonymous texter, Aces, is bringing two students' dark secrets to light. Talented musician Devon buries himself in rehearsals, but he can't escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Head girl Chiamaka isn't afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they're planning much more than a high-school game...

Page Count: 432 Genre: YA, Thriller, Mystery My Rating: ★★★★/5 My Review:

This is horrifying but depressingly plausible. I’ve seen so many reviews about how heavy handed this book is and how they didn’t like the “all white people are racist” theme. Guess what? All white people are racist. We have inherent racism, it’s been built into our minds for centuries and it’s our jobs to break down our internalized racism and work on being anti racist. Being anti racist is not a destination. It’s not enough to do a few anti racist things and mark off check boxes to say “I’m not racist.” It’s a journey that we will be on for as long as we live to continue breaking down all of the racist bullshit we’ve been fed throughout our lives. Two quotes from this book really stuck with me: “Growing up, I realized quite quickly that people hate being called racist more than they hate racism itself.” “I don’t trust white people like you do. I obviously don’t think they are all murderers, but I think they are all racist... racism is a spectrum and they all participate in it in some way. They don’t all have white hoods or call us mean things; I know that. But racism isn’t just about that—it’s not about being nice or mean. Or good versus bad. It’s bigger than that.” Most of the white people who are reviewing this book and giving it a bad rating will rant about how unfair and ridiculous it is to call all white people racist. Those reviewers are racist. Full stop. They’re so incredibly mad about being called racist instead of taking the time to evaluate themselves it’s insane, and sad, and they prove the book, which they’re so adamant about being wrong, right. Alright so now that I’m done ranting about stupid people: this book was excellent. So many twists, ones I saw coming and others I didn’t. It’s like Gossip Girl meets Get Out. Some moments are truly terrifying. It kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. There were just a few things that didn’t get answered that I really wish the author would have addressed by the end of the book because I’m left questioning what happened. I let’s set up nicely for a sequel, I assume it’s getting one, but I doubt my questions will be answered by one.

DNF:

A Marvelous Light, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

#book recs #book recommendations #book review #monthly reads #monthly reading wrap up #september reads #the infinite noise #winter’s orbit #the gravity of us #the darkness outside us #the temperature of me and you #cemetery boys #the extraordinaries #flash fire #heat wave #what if its us #heres to us #ace of spades

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marley-manson · 2 years

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Marley, how would you have developed Trapper's personality post s3? What do you think would have been some of his flaws that might have come to light?

Thanks for asking, this was really fun to answer!

Well my favourite way of depicting flaws is as a two sides of the same coin sort of thing with virtues. That's one reason I interpret Trapper's temptation to kill the PoW as his protective urge rearing its head, because I like when virtues can get dark. So that's something I'd definitely want to explore.

Say, an episode where Trapper bonds with one of his patients who gets sent out to die unnecessarily as soon as he rejoins his unit, and ends up right back on his table again, except this time he doesn't make it. The commander visits a la Preventative Medicine, and Hawkeye and Trapper clash bc Trapper straight up wants to kill him. Maybe Hawkeye suggests taking out his appendix and therefore taking him off his command as a compromise lol, and you can see that he's kind of freaked out by how far Trapper will go.

Another, somewhat opposing way his protectiveness could be a flaw is if he thinks Hawkeye is going too far on one of his campaigns and takes it upon himself to shut it down to keep Hawkeye from getting court martialed, in a way that negatively affects Hawkeye. I def think this could be in character - Trapper was always pretty ride or die in the first three seasons, but he also had a vibe of navigating Hawkeye's urges with practicalities as well as looking out for Hawkeye (eg Adam's Ribs, Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde, House Arrest) and when the show takes a turn towards consequences being more of a thing I could see him being portrayed as more cautious while still being IC.

Like BJ's line between what he'll join Hawkeye on vs what he'll mock him for seems to be based on usefulness, as far as I can tell, rather than risk. He'll join him in Guerilla My Dreams but he'll mock him in Depressing News, eg. I could see Trapper having a line he'll draw when Hawkeye gets too reckless. Like maybe he'd be supportive in Depressing News but try to shut him down in Guerilla My Dreams, especially if the consequences of Hawkeye getting caught helping a North Korean prisoner escape were considered more realistically, as opposed to them just getting lectured lol.

I could also see the opposite being in character too of course - like he already happily took out an appendix with Hawkeye, plus he's done stupid shit himself like the aforementioned Radar's Report or trying to desert in Mail Call, so maybe he'd join him no matter how risky his plans are. But yk, it's a possible direction the show could've theoretically gone in. It wouldn't necessarily be contradictory either, just yk, a little hypocritical.

Though if you go with the ride or die vibe, that could also be a virtue taken so far it becomes a flaw at times. Maybe he should try to stop Hawkeye sometimes, but he doesn't, and one or the other nearly gets court martialed, but like, in a serious way lol. Or maybe they antagonize the wrong person and Hawkeye gets hurt. Maybe Trapper thinks that he should be the realistic, cautious one, but he fails to follow through because he enjoys Hawkeye's campaigns too much.

Like in the first three seasons I see him as finding Hawkeye pretty inspiring and admirable, because he's idealistic in a way Trapper isn't, which is partly why Trapper helps him on his campaigns and stuff. He helps inspire Trapper to try to make whatever differences he can.

But his cynicism could be a good flaw too, so conversely maybe as the war wears on and Hawkeye's campaigns usually end up going nowhere and his own little hope spots end sadly (eg Kim) he could fall into a more BJ-esque "what's the point, you can't change anything" role.

Or he could still support Hawkeye but in a going through the motions kind of way, where it's obvious he doesn't think it'll make a difference and he's just doing it as a distraction from the boredom and despair, and it causes a few arguments between them, with Hawkeye annoyed at his attitude. Yk, really explore Hawkeye's idealistic need to affect the world around him vs Trapper's more fatalistic attitude and how it could cause them to clash.

Also I feel like Mail Call would have to get a dramatic reprise with some actual build up and good writing behind it lol, so something with Trapper snapping and trying to desert and Hawkeye having to pull him back from the edge would be good. In general the fact that Mail Call was so sudden is like... idk, you have to downplay it a bit because it's not sustainable, but it does suggest that Trapper is hanging on by a thread at all times lol. So I mean, exploring that would be interesting. How close is Trapper to snapping and deserting at any given time? Is there an element of self-destructiveness to it? Is he at risk of walking into the minefield at some point? You could go some dark places with that.

Though incidentally I don't think Trapper knocking Hawkeye out of his way was a relevant character note (people compare it to the Period of Adjustment punch lol but it's really not comparable at all to me) and I don't think BJ-esque deep-seated rage is really his thing. Maybe it could've been if Wayne Rogers had stayed on and BJ had never appeared and they'd built on it more, but as-is I don't think he's the "taking my feelings out on other people" type. When he lashes out in Radar's Report and Mail Call he has different reasons for it, and Hawkeye is the main instigator against Frank, Trapper tends to just go along with it.

Like I think instead of repressed/sublimated rage which imo BJ and Hawkeye both have to an extent, Trapper maybe has repressed despair.

(Also, speaking of Trapper and despair, if Trapper got a dream in Dreams it would have to feature his kids playing hopscotch in a minefield or something, right? Combine his protectiveness, his helplessness, and his difficulty imagining an end to the war. Maybe it could shift to him operating on one of them with Potter handing him a scalpel to keep his sinister commander motif which I love.)

lol ANYWAY my answer's kind of all over the place, sorry, but yk, there are a lot of potential directions to go with Trapper's flaws imo. As far as what I'm into I could be down for any of this, but I really like the idea of a Hawk v Trap version of Preventative Medicine where Trapper wants to go too far for Hawkeye, Trapper supporting Hawkeye against his better judgement when the consequences could be bad for Hawkeye, and Trapper's fatalistic cynicism driving him to dark, self-destructive places occasionally.

#mash #marley on mash #trapper mash #i kept this answer to like stuff that could conceivably happen in canon rather than shippy stuff but yk there could be flaws there too #i feel like a lot of bj's flaws are things they could've explored with trapper if wayne rogers had stayed but if i'm going with what #i want to see then i'd prefer more of a contrast between trapper and bj

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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I'm curious, why Joseph become Aesop's roommate on modern! AU? XD

oh this is kind of a long story XD its one that im currently planning a really long comic series for so i may or may not actually finish it XD i have the layouts done for the first part but depending mostly on my energy levels and mood i may or may not get around to it soon aha

but the general gist of it is that they became friends (after a lot of. shit) and were going to the same university/ college so they decided to room together cos it was cheaper (at least for aesop). another reason is cos joseph was initially going to room with one of the wu chang twins until the other twin got accepted into the uni so they kicked joseph out and he needs to find another roomie HAHAHAHAHA

#mun rambles #its me the mun #i actually wrote down the entire plot of the comic somewhere in the tags of one particular post #that i cant seem to find cos for some reason tumblrs tag searching system within the blog is kinda whack #ive had this story in my head for about a year ish n only now i decide to do something about it aha #its mostly the shit part. like becoming friends #idk romance is nice but for some reason i cant exactly think of a nice way to get them both together like that #i kinda intended for them to maybe get together in uni/ college but. yeah #i really dont know how to frame the part where they. actually get together. hmm #i just really like their chemistry and contrasting themes so i dont need them to be in a relationship per se. unless its friendship #i mean them as roommates is nice. and they were roommates.....................#its just them preventing the other from falling too far into depression really #yeah no the more i think about it the less i want them to be involved romantically #platonic friendship is Important n i just really like their dynamics #ive come up with like 3 different explanations but i feel like im overgeneralizing n Not Valid so i decided not to share them here #but bottom line is that its most likely gonna be platonic but if i do manage to find a way that eases both of them into romance then i migh #god takes me 15 mins of rewriting and deleting tags to come to this conclusion #unconcerned ramblings

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bistevethor · 3 years

Text

Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

#steve rogers #fic rec #pro steve rogers #i guess i'll tag the ships #samsteve #thundershield

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tarosin · 3 years

Text

the great adventures of y/n tommy wilbur and george - the water olympics

requested:yes/no

part 9 to the great adventures series

warnings: cursing, a suicide joke (the one george made in the vlog)

you were currently sat in your bedroom editing a video for your youtube channel however someone had different plans as you heard your parents talking to someone telling them you were in your room and that they could go straight up

“Y/N ITS ME CAN I COME IN”

you laughed before getting up placing your laptop on your desk before opening your door letting your friend inside.

“what is it with people randomly showing up where I live”

“ill have you know I asked your parents”

“Pfft yeah okay Tommy sure you did. anyway I’m glad you’re here editing was beginning to make me want to throw my laptop”

“you are honestly so dramatic pass us your laptop I’ll edit for you if you let me stay the night as it’s about to rain”

“you brought a backpack with you...you clearly planned on staying the night anyway but yes it’s a deal”

Tommy laughed before sitting on your bed waiting for you to bring the laptop over and sit next to him keeping him entertained as he edits for you. it was around late afternoon when he finished editing the video and you spent the entire time telling him about your merch plans and getting the sizes and items he’s going to want as you were planning on sending him some when you’ve agreed on a final design and products

“all done I want full credit for editing”

“hey I edited like a whole 3 minutes of the video..fine fine just stop staring at me like that”

the two of you realised it was a little late and neither of you wanted to cook anything so decided to go to a local restaurant. a few hours later you arrived back home it was pretty late now so your parents had gone to bed so you had to keep reminding each other not to yell, once in your room the pair of you collapsed onto your bed, you rolled over to face Tommy

“So why are you actually here huh, what’s going on in that mind of yours”

“I know it’s short notice but tomorrow afternoon would you like to go to this inflatable water course with me will and George”

“I don’t have anything else to do so I’d be more than happy to come with you guys what time do we need to be awake, we may as well set an alarm now in case we fall asleep as I tend to sleep in really late”

“I’ve got it don’t worry about it”

Tommy set an alarm as you logged into Disney plus so you and Tommy could watch tv for a while before deciding on sleeping arrangements, you put on the good dinosaur and instantly regret that decision as you began ranting to Tommy about how the films depressing. soon enough the pair of you fell asleep.

at 9 am Tommy's alarm went off waking the pair of you up

“y/n get up we’re going to a lake”

“Okay okay I’m up”

Tommy went to the bathroom to get ready so you could get ready in your room a few minutes later you both made your way downstairs grabbing a snack you could eat whilst you waited for your taxi to arrive. the pair of you arrived at the lake first, George arrived next and that’s when you noticed Wilbur show up and George beginning to record what’s happening

“Tommy is he wearing a suit?” you tilted your head to the left as Wilbur stepped out of the car

“it worked George”

“Why are you wearing a suit?”

“for the meal”

“we’re not doing the restaurant”

your eyes widened and you tried to hide your laughter as Tommy said he couldn’t change as he only hired three wetsuits, you all made your way to get your wetsuits, Wilbur reluctantly following you all as soon as you all stepped in several people began to stare at you all

“they’re staring at me because I’m wearing a suit”

George laughed before telling him it could also be because your hair was awfully similar to a highlight. you lightly hit his shoulder before rolling your eyes

“rude”

you laughed as you went away to get changed returning a few moments later

“I’m ready boys oh they gave will a life jacket”

“Why do you sound so disappointed”

“you not a fan of drowning then?”

“no, I’m not!”

Tommy grabbed your hand and ran towards the water before jumping in taking you down with him

“TOMMY I HATE YOU”

“HELP ME”

“NO SUFFER”

soon enough will and George made it onto the inflatable, Tommy tried to film his intro however the fact you and George were jumping in the background made it rather difficult. Tommy ran to Wilbur who pushed him into the water

“HA GET FUCKED”

you made your way across but saw Tommy in the water making you laugh which made you fall in the water too

“well hello again y/n”

“Hello Tommy funny seeing you here”

George managed to help you up whilst Wilbur pretended to help Tommy up before walking away. Tommy just held onto the inflatable whilst looking at you

“fine”

you reached your hand out and helped him back up onto the inflatable.

you made your way across the bridge Wilbur not far behind you so he could push Tommy off of the bridge into the water, he did but fell with him, you fell over laughing as George went to help Wilbur but ended up falling in himself. you George and Tommy ran to a high point of the course which will wanted you all successfully defended it and even managed to push will into the water. you and George weren’t the best at this course you had fallen three times and George fell twice

“look at them both”

Tommy turned around to see you and George in the water again as the pair of you fell once back on the inflatable you both made your way back to the others however George slipped and grabbed your arm trying to stay up ultimately dragging you down with him

“When is it my turn to be happy”

you all made your way to the canopy without falling, well that was until Tommy decided to lean on it causing it to fall into the water taking Tommy with it

“bye tom”

“he’s stuck save him”

“Nah this is funny”

Wilbur ended up helping him by making it so he could actually climb onto the inflatable

“you’re embarrassing us in front of the lifeguards”

you made your way across the course this time you didn’t fall as much as you did earlier on in the day, Wilbur went to push Tommy into the water again however this time you and George decided to get payback and attempted to side tackle him so he fell into the water

“bye will”

will finally got back onto the inflatable and pulled you aside

“We should form an alliance...I wouldn’t leave you behind”

“deal”

“When I say meet you there you start running the course I'll make sure you don’t fall”

“understood let’s do this”

you got ready to go as will told Tommy and George that the truces weren’t working and there was only one way to settle it

“meet you there”

you started running across the course you were doing surprisingly well, Wilbur only had to prevent you from falling once and that was because you lost balance over one obstacle

“I've got you! keep going”

eventually, you both turned around to see that Tommy and George finally set off and were making their way to you both

“we’re team weak..strong every day of the week”

you managed to contain your laughter as George fell as soon as Tommy said that

“we’ll be team pussy”

soon enough they caught up you and will went to push Tommy into the water however George snuck up behind you both and pushed you into the water

“ah yes water my good friend we meet again”

will helped you up first then you helped him up will noticed George fell and went to push him in the water whilst you made your way to Tommy

“I call this the leg turrent”

“you plan on doing this forever heh?”

you helped George back up whilst Wilbur tackled Tommy further down the course

“oh Tommy is still on the floor”

“what have you done to him”

you made your way to Tommy with George only to hear Tommy yell about the art of deception followed by a splash and Tommy's laughter. George got up to go get the drinks but fell again then stood up slowly turning to face you all

“that was called comedy.. I'll go get the drinks kills myself”

“the hydration is good”

“ah thanks, George you see I’ve personally been spending the majority of my time in the water”

Tommy ran over to you all then fell into the water making you all laugh followed by Wilbur telling him to complete the line about how many people are and are not subscribed to his vlog channel

“When did George fall into the water”

“How are you guys feeling for a race”

“I’m down”

“right you and George are going to run that way around, y/n and I will run this way and we’ll meet at the nub we fought for”

“winner gets to launch the other of that big floppy thing”

“GO”

Tommy and George ran off before you two however you and will made it to the nub before the others, mainly because neither of you fell and worked together.

“come across Tommy we will let you have the win if you make it across that”

Tommy ran at the bridge however he fell three quarters over the bridge

“oh fucking hell”

“he tried”

you and will helped Tommy up however George ran over

“George you’re ruining the moment” Wilbur pushed him over the edge into the water

“bye again George”

“let’s go back to the nub”

“I think me and y/n technically won”

“friends?”

“friends”

Tommy decided to shake hands with will and made you go over to him so he could give you a hug you stood with will filming Tommy for the outro you waved bye to Tommy as he fell a rather long distance into the water, once will stopped recording he pushed you into the water from the same height

“WILL I'M GOING TO KILL YOU”

once you all dried off and got ready you and Tommy made your way back to yours as it was late you agreed Tommy may as well stay the night again, the pair of you spent the night playing games together and arguing about who won the game you missed spending time with just Tommy and he missed spending time with you so you were both incredibly thankful he decided to come over to yours a few days earlier than expected.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

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usedtobe-angstyoikawa · 3 years

Text

Mask

Zuko x reader (tea shop au)

Summary: you become friends with the two baristas from your favorite tea shop and slowly start to fall for one of them (keep in mind this takes place in the modern day, covid is still around sorry :p)

A/n: I came up with this love story kind of idea while in quarantine since where I’m from things are still pretty messy (not just because of covid but the whole country is a mess lol) so it’s hard for me to imagine love scenarios that are so different from the reality I’m currently living in. That being said, this seemed to be good enough to make my brain enjoy it while also tricking it into believing maybe it could happen to me one day (even though I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die alone :’) Anyways I was thinking of making these a series? Don’t know maybe I won’t finish it I’m too busy but I’ll give it a try

Warnings: none at lest yet

———————————————————————

Being alive during a pandemic isn’t easy, not to mention how stressing it is to be a college student as well. The combination of trying to take care of yourself while also loosing your mind and dealing with anxiety isn’t the best. The student life is already tiring on its own, but the social interaction and good fun memories that come with it makes it a little less dreadful. Of course, that is gone now too, so we’re left with only the overworking-yourself-till-your-body-gives-out part of the experience. It may sound depressing but after a bit more than a year you learn to live with it, you adapt and find new ways to relax and have fun.

That’s why you’ve been visiting the new tea shop near your house. It opened a few months ago and since you first stepped foot in the warm, inviting place you haven’t been able to go a day without their so contagious good vibes (and tea too, obviously). Well maybe you don’t visit it every single day but at least three times a week, on mondays, wednesdays and fridays to be exact. It’s become part of your routine, not only is it good because it implies spending time outside of your room but the friendly, cozy atmosphere of that place also helps you concentrate on your studies and actually get the work done. And yeah maybe having to wear a mask the whole time isn’t super comfortable but it’s worth it, at least the shops were opened again. One of your favorite things about the tea shop is the staff, from the baristas to the waiters to the owner, this last one being the first one you met. This man is incredibly sweet and is capable of lifting your mood with such simple words and a warm cup of tea. Iroh, that being his name, moved to your hometown a year before the pandemic started with no intentions of working at any shop, let alone open one. It was the arrival of his two nephews in need of a helping hand that made him come up with the best idea of his life, and the best thing that happened to you later on. You don’t really know what his relatives coming to town has to do with him opening a tea shop but he never explained, so you never asked. He is very fond of his nephews, specially the older one, a boy named Zuko. The other is a girl named Azula, which you learned is the youngest sibling even though she seems a lot more mature than her brother. Both of them work with his uncle, Zuko as a barista and Azula as the cashier, but sometimes she likes to take and prepare your orders too, just to prove she’s better at tea-making than her brother. Every time she does so you play along with it, nodding to everything she says only to then confess to Zuko that you find his tea to be better warmed than her sister’s. You’d like to say that comments like that one make him blush, but there’s no way of telling with the damned mask covering his face. This place has very strict covid prevention policies, which you are glad of cause not many shops did, so you’ve never seen their faces (or at least not the entirety of them). It’s kind of weird cause you’re pretty sure they do know what you look like since you have to take yours off every time you take a sip of your drink or a bite of your food. You only once saw Azula with her mask off, hanging from her right ear. She was outside standing next to the entrance while smoking a cigarette, she had the prettiest face you’d ever seen. But you don’t know what the faces of her brother and uncle look like, though you try to imagine it from time to time. You’re pretty sure Iroh has a beard, you can see it poking out of the sides of his mask, but what really intrigues you is his smile. He’s one of those people who are able to smile with just their eyes, so you imagine his smile is the phisical representation of happiness itself. Now Zuko’s face was harder to imagine. He wore his dark hair right in front of his eyes, kind of like grown out bangs that covered the upper part of his face. You know his eyes are of this yellowish but also hazel like color, and you’re 99% sure he has dark bags under them. But apart from that you aren’t sure what to think of his facial features, you don’t know if he has a beard or a sharp jawline, nor if his nose is pointed like his sister’s or a bit round like his uncle’s. He could have no nose at all for all you know! This types of thoughts are the ones that roam your mind while you’re trying to solve the algebra problem sitting on the book page in front of you. Maybe it’s time for your you to take a break and order another tea, you think of trying out the new matcha one Iroh added to the list last week but instead you opt for the good old jasmine tea, the old man’s favorite.

You’re surprised when you see Zuko starting on your order instead of his uncle, even though he works as a barista too he usually takes care of the food orders. It’s not that he’s bad at making tea (like his sister states), he’s only extremely good at making a few variety of them and messes up any other order completely. Bobba, black and green tee are his specialties, with oolong and herbal coming right behind them, but jasmine is one of his worst. And you’re gonna have to be the one drinking a whole cup of it. You look to your left and catch Azula’s eyes fixed on his brothers back, then they move to you and even though words aren’t coming out of her mouth you know exactly what she wants to say. Shit, good luck.

“Here you go, a jasmine tea with three sugar’s” his voice breaks your staring contest with the girl next to him and it takes you a good minute and a half to react and take the cup. You really wish you had taken a seat next to the window instead of opting for the counter, now you’ll have to try the drink while he’s standing in front of you.

You can feel Azula’s eyes burning the side of your face, you know she’s either at the verge of tears or feeling sorry for you. Before chickening out you lift the cup and bring it to your lips, letting the liquid in and swallowing. Everyone behind the counter stops, waiting for your reaction. They don’t really know what they’re expecting you to do or say, but it definitely isn’t what is currently going on in your head (and mouth).

“Oh. My. Fucking god. This is amazing.”

a/n: this wasn’t proof read so thank you for making it this far :)

#atla fanart #atla #zuko x oc #zuko x you #atla azula #atla zuko #zuko #azula #zuko and azula #uncle iroh #tea #tea shop #modern au #tea shop Zuko #zuko x reader #modern day atla #fluff

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becomewings · 3 years

Photo

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 1 / 4

» pt. 2

Introduction

BTS Universe Story, a mobile game published by Netmarble, was released on September 24, 2020. While the majority of the app is essentially a sandbox and engine for users to create their own interactive stories, it also includes official and canon BU content. The first eight segments were introduced between the release date and December 2020, gathered under the title The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>.

“I’m Fine” is half of the I’m Fine/Save Me ambigram introduced in the Love Yourself era. Notably, all of the BU content available in the game so far falls between events of the webtoon Save Me (also called HYYH0 in its logo) and The Notes 1—chronologically, that is, while bearing in mind that time resets to the morning of 11 April Year 22 whenever SeokJin fails to avert a tragedy among his six friends. I want to assure anyone who is unable to play the game that you are not missing any new, major plot beats from the overall BU narrative. Instead, the stories provide more insight into the motivations and consequences of SeokJin’s decisions in the earlier time loops, as well as more depth to individual characters and their circumstances.

The goal of this guide is to summarize each of the eight stories and highlight noteworthy details, especially if they are not yet present in other BU media. Within each story (which I often refer to as an arc, due to their character-focused nature), episodes must be played successively, but the stories themselves can be played in any order. I will present them over a series of posts in the order they are listed under the <I’M FINE> heading. The Prologue and NamJoon’s arc are free to play; the rest are paid content. Please note that due to the app’s Terms & Conditions, I will not include in-game footage here. The images in this guide are sourced from the official trailers/videos and the live action MVs as appropriate.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Game Mechanic

Before diving into the summaries, I would like to address the primary mechanic of the game: the user’s control of character choices at designated moments in the stories. It’s a primary marketing point that the player can influence the progression of the narrative, with a frequent in-app tip also declaring, “stories’ endings can vary depending on your choices.” The latter is not strictly true—and it cannot be true due to the structure of the game. Choices are presented within most (not all) episodes, but each episode is an isolated unit: episode 2 provides the same content regardless of what you choose in episode 1. Since the consequences of your decisions are not cumulative, each episode reaches the same ending, and each decision inevitably rejoins the “main” story path (effectively reducing the script size).

So what is the point of this mechanic? While the system is not nearly as complex as what major platform titles are capable of nowadays (I suspect due in large part to the story creation portion of the game), it does foster a sense of interaction with the narrative that isn’t present in static visual media like comics or film. The episodes with choices also have incentive for replay to discover the impact of changing a character’s dialogue or action. Sometimes the differences between the outcomes are inconsequential, but other times you unearth new details, interactions, or memories that are missing in the other path.

I say this partially in reaction to all of the comments and tweets I read for the game trailers and even Smeraldo Book twitter’s choose-your-own-adventure style teasers with The Notes 2 excerpts released last summer. Many users expressed excitement, through words or memes, about finally being able to give the boys the happy ending they deserved. I don’t fault anyone for wanting that happy ending—I wish for it, too. But no matter what the rather overzealous marketing has claimed, I don’t believe that the canon ending of BU is ever meant to be in the audience’s control. But I do feel that this mechanism fits the BU narrative. It echoes the “countless loops” SeokJin has experienced in an effort to save his friends, the choices he must make at every crossroad, and the butterfly effect those actions have on all of their lives. I think it is reasonable to interpret the simple branching paths in the game as alternatives SeokJin has explored across multiple loops in his struggle to find the “right” way forward. I’d love to hear if you have theories of your own!

Prologue

The prologue is a brief episode introducing SeokJin’s repeated struggle and failure to save his friends. He wakes up yet again in his bed on 11 April Year 22, the beginning of the time loop. After reflecting on the tragedies that keep befalling the others, SeokJin realizes that he has only tried to fix the problems he can see. He wonders: “Have I tried to understand the root of my friends’ misfortunes? How much do I really know about my friends? Maybe I was never brave enough to confront their real scars and the worlds they’ve been living in. But I need to do it. Because it may be the key to saving them all.”

How to Offer a Hand

In this story, SeokJin attempts to prevent NamJoon’s arrest after he gets in a fight with a rude customer at Naeri Gas Station, his place of work. The first episode opens on the night of 11 April Year 22 with NamJoon curling his fists, glaring as crumpled bills lie untouched on the pavement. (The money looks similar to the shot from the I Need U MV.) SeokJin reaches for his shoulder, but NamJoon shrugs him off and strides away to punch the customer who deliberately dropped the bills for him to pick up. The gas station owner runs over at the customer’s furious shouts and orders NamJoon to apologize. He refuses, and police officers soon arrive and charge him with assault. No one listens to SeokJin’s protests that the customer started it first. The man sneers as NamJoon enters the police car. “Do you even have money for a settlement? Hey, you’re done for.” NamJoon is sentenced to prison again, and SeokJin hears glass shattering before the loop resets.

Rising from his bed on the morning of 11 April, SeokJin reflects on his failed efforts so far. He has hit the customer’s car, called for NamJoon in the middle of the incident, and stopped the fight himself, the latter of which caused his friends to avoid him later. The fight has even escalated; the details are unspecified, but the audience is provided an ominous shot of SeokJin speaking to a police officer alone at the scene. NamJoon is not the kind of person who would normally respond to that kind of provocation with his fists. SeokJin realizes that he cannot merely stop the fight but must discover and fix the true cause of it.

With this in mind, SeokJin heads to Naeri Gas Station during the day and tries to engage NamJoon. This is their first time meeting since they both returned to Songju, although SeokJin has experienced it in many loops already. “It’s been a while,” he greets (as he does at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV). Before SeokJin can dig deeper in their conversation, NamJoon is called away by his boss. SeokJin enters the small employee break room which serves as NamJoon’s living space when he’s not at the container, hoping to find some clues about his friend’s life. SeokJin locates something bundled in newspapers. If the player chooses to open it, he sees a strange shard of glass inside that may belong to a car or motorcycle headlight. He continues on, finding the book Cosmos by Carl Sagan and a notebook. SeokJin hesitates over the invasion of privacy but decides to read it since he needs all the information that he can gather. The journal entries detail NamJoon’s daily life since returning to Songju: his work at the gas station isn’t too bad despite the occasional rude customer; he purchased a book and hopes to get more in the future; he picked up a second job at a wedding hall to help catch up on bills; his brother NamHyeon got in trouble again, leading to more expenses; and his dad’s health has worsened, with hospital bills after an emergency surgery rising to levels that the family cannot afford. SeokJin knew that NamJoon was the de facto head of household due to his father’s illness but was unaware that it was to this degree. He feels sorry for NamJoon yet is also impressed by his maturity, for NamJoon never writes how difficult his situation is.

NamJoon arrives and asks what SeokJin is doing in the room. If the player chooses to answer “reading” instead of “just sitting there,” SeokJin privately observes that the conversation flows more easily when they talk about books. NamJoon says he must leave and declines when SeokJin offers to wait for him there. SeokJin knocks over a pile of books along with money and receipts as he stands. He thinks it is unusual that NamJoon picks up the books before the money. The books seem to be more than a hobby to NamJoon, holding special meaning. Walking to his car, SeokJin wonders if it is pride or determination not to falter that keeps NamJoon from journaling his grievances. He realizes that money is a constant source of frustration and misery to NamJoon, and that’s why he can’t stomach being insulted over the customer’s dropped money. SeokJin’s new plan is to prevent NamJoon from picking up the money. He also calls Palgok County Hospital and offers to pay the patient bill for NamJoon’s father. Anticipating that NamJoon will be angry if he finds out, SeokJin says the payer is Songho Foundation.

That night, SeokJin returns to the gas station with the excuse that he forgot to fill up earlier. The luxury car arrives with a honk, and NamJoon hurries over to assist. He shakes with anger when the customer drops the money on the ground. “Why aren’t you picking it up? You don’t want it? What’s with that look? Pretty arrogant for a part-timer, aren’t you?” goads the customer. SeokJin intervenes. Whether the player chooses to have him advise NamJoon not to pick it up or to order the customer to pick it up himself, the end result is the same. SeokJin asks the customer, “Why are you harassing a pitiful part-timer?” The customer drives away, and something about NamJoon seems off. His face is expressionless, not mad or humiliated. “SeokJin, you…” He stops. “Never mind. Thank you for your help.” The words sound difficult for him to speak.

SeokJin believes that he has saved NamJoon, although this ending feels sloppy. He continues on in the loop to rescue JungKook and later YoonGi, but uneasiness plagues him. Though he meant to help NamJoon with his actions, SeokJin wonders if he hurt him instead. On 5 May Year 22, he returns to the gas station and follows NamJoon when he leaves work early. NamJoon enters a bookstore, and SeokJin sneaks in after him to watch from afar. He overhears employees talking about NamJoon, worrying that he might dirty the pages of the book he’s perusing. NamJoon is too absorbed in the book to notice one of them calling for his attention. SeokJin recalls a memory from their school days when he found NamJoon reading alone in their classroom hideout: he asked why NamJoon read so diligently, and his friend explained that he found it comforting to empty his thoughts of everything else while focused on the book. In the present, SeokJin wonders how he forgot how much books mean to NamJoon. He sacrifices some of his food and transportation budget to afford them, but they enable him “to endure the weight of the world he’s forced to bear on his shoulders.” After realizing this, SeokJin wants to apologize for carelessly sympathizing with the reality that NamJoon has weathered alone.

The next episode is from NamJoon’s perspective, revealing his excitement over being able to purchase a book for the first time in two months. He wants to buy two but can only afford one. The employee at the register sighs and asks why he leafed through a book he wasn’t going to buy. NamJoon apologizes, and she mutters, “So dirty.” He notices his reflection, clothes worn and smelling of gasoline, and realizes she’s talking about him, not the book. He tries to shake off these depressing thoughts, but he is still not accustomed to this treatment despite experiencing it regularly at work. As NamJoon begins to exit the store, the security alarm goes off. The employees demand to check his bag despite his insistence that he didn’t steal anything. Their certainty of his theft angers him. NamJoon allows them to look through his bag, and they are suspicious of the like-new book in it which he brought from home. One begins to call the police until SeokJin appears, vouching for NamJoon by saying he saw everything. The employees accept that the alarm malfunctioned and excuse their suspicions as a mistake.

Outside, SeokJin asks NamJoon if he is all right. NamJoon is thankful but wonders how SeokJin materialized right when he needed him. “How’d you find me here?” he asks aloud. SeokJin explains that he happened to notice him while walking through the neighborhood. NamJoon wonders if it’s because they said goodbye on a weird note last time. He thanks him and turns to leave. SeokJin calls after him. “I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you that day at the gas station. It was a mistake to have called you pitiful. If my rash actions hurt you, I’m really sorry.” NamJoon accepts his apology, believing it to be sincere, and says that things would have turned out a lot worse if SeokJin had not intervened. Thunder rolls overhead, and NamJoon uses the impending rain as his excuse to depart. He declines SeokJin’s offer of a ride and runs home, feeling his friend’s eyes on him.

Before he can settle down to read at home, NamJoon receives a call from his cheerful mother. She thanks him for paying off the entire hospital bill. NamJoon is perplexed and asks what’s on the receipt, since he didn’t pay it. His mother wants to leave it be, but he insists that they investigate so they don’t get in trouble or sued. She reads that the Songho Foundation is credited as the payer. NamJoon calls the hospital, introducing himself as the guardian for Kim YoungMin, but they can’t transfer him to the administrative department at this time. Disappointed, he looks up the foundation’s website, unable to recall why it sounds familiar. He wonders why a scholarship foundation in the city would get involved with him. Spotting photos of a recent launch ceremony on the site, he recognizes a few people: Songju High School’s principal, the familiar-looking face of the foundation’s chairman, and SeokJin. First, NamJoon forces a laugh, and then it’s difficult for him to breathe. He thinks that SeokJin really had pitied him at that moment. The only thing keeping NamJoon going is the idea of getting through life on his own strength. Why does he have to live like this?

The last episode opens on 5 May back in SeokJin’s perspective. He is confident now that he has saved NamJoon, although it occurs to him that a better alternative may have been to simply pick up the money himself instead of stepping forward. (This decision is enacted in a later loop and depicted in the Euphoria MV.) While reflecting on what comes next to save his other friends, he receives a text from NamJoon. “What’s your account number? I’ll pay you back for the hospital bills. I don’t need your help. I’ll handle my concerns on my own.” Heart sinking, SeokJin wonders how he found out. With a sense of foreboding, he tries calling NamJoon, but no one answers. SeokJin texts him back, pretending that he doesn’t understand, and tells NamJoon to call him. SeokJin’s second attempt connects while he’s gathering his car keys to visit the container. “That’s enough. Just send the account number over text,” NamJoon instructs. SeokJin coaxes him to talk for a moment, and NamJoon asks flatly, “Are you going to apologize again?” SeokJin attempts to salvage the situation, but his friend turns cold when he insists that NamJoon is misunderstanding and that he just wanted to help. “So, why? Why are you helping me?! Yeah, you’re always a good person. You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m the one misunderstanding.” SeokJin apologizes again. NamJoon refuses his request to meet in person. “No, I thought maybe there was a reason for everything you did… But I guess I misconstrued it. I’ll pay you back, so I’d prefer if you stopped contacting me.” Long after the call ends, SeokJin stands holding his phone, feeling that the glass is going to break at any moment. He wants to believe that it’s not over, but hope is slipping through his fingertips.

The episode finishes in NamJoon’s perspective. On 8 May and 9 May, he accepts part-time delivery work and reflects on his three jobs. Whenever he thinks he’s at his breaking point, he focuses on his new goal of returning SeokJin’s money. On 10 May, NamJoon wakes up to his buzzing phone and is called in to work. On a scooter, he passes by a bus stop and notices graffiti. (This is the same bus stop, with matching graffiti, that appears in the Highlight Reel.) Mesmerized, he wonders if it’s TaeHyung’s. As soon as NamJoon looks up, the scooter’s brake fails, and he crashes. The shattered glass on the cold pavement reminds him of the headlight shard and the kid who looked like TaeHyung. (So the piece of glass SeokJin saw in April was really a memento NamJoon retrieved from the scene of the crash in the mountain town, where the delivery boy whom he privately called TaeHyung died. This event is described in NamJoon’s 17 December Year 21 entry in The Notes 1.) NamJoon’s vision grows blurry, and the distant sound of an ambulance doesn’t come any closer.

The arc concludes there, but it obviously marks another reset for SeokJin. It is interesting to note that in this failed loop, NamJoon suffers the same fate that he narrowly avoided in the snowy mountain town before returning to Songju.

Please stay tuned for the next Highlights post featuring JungKook and YoonGi!

#armiesnet #networkbangtan #bangtanarmynet #armysource #dailybangtan #bts universe #hyyh #bangtan universe #bts universe story #bts universe story highlights #seokjin #namjoon #namjin #bts theories

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ohh-baekhyun · 4 years

Text

Sugar | 03

summary: Getting into a performing arts college isn’t cheap. In desperate need of money, you sign yourself up on an online dating site called Sugar. There, you match with a wealthy man named Mr Byun.

genre: Softdom!baek, sugardaddy!au, teacherxstudent!au

taglist : in comment section. im sorry if i missed you, i deleted some of my asks the other time. let me know if you wanna be tagged :)

One Month Later

Living in a spacious apartment had its own downside. More often than not, I felt lonely, but I wasn’t complaining. Baekhyun didn’t come over everyday because he wanted to give me time to do things that didn’t involve him. I think they called it me time, whatever that was. Baekhyun said it was to prevent us from growing too dependent on each other, which could be unhealthy. And as much as I disliked it, he was right. Our relationship wasn’t permanent, and there would come a time when either one of us had to call the arrangement off. I would be sad, because that’s human, but not to the point where I became depressed.

When I wasn’t spending the day with Baekhyun, I’d be practicing the piano. After my father passed away, my stepmother had sold off our Steinway and stopped paying for my lesson. I was lucky to know a friend who allowed me to practice at her music shop for free. When I wasn’t practicing, I would be at home, taking care of my little plants on the balcony. They were like my babies.

Since Baekhyun had suggested that I learned a new language, I’d decided to take up Chinese. He had offered to hire a home tutor for me, but I insisted on learning it myself because Chinese lessons were expensive. We argued about it for a while, until he decided he wanted to learn too. We had our lesson together every Sunday afternoon for two hours. Our tutor, Miss Fei, was a long time friend of Baekhyun. And for some reason, she was always picking on me over the slightest things. Sometimes when Baekhyun wasn’t looking, she would kick my leg, step on me or pinch my arm under the table. If I had to guess, I think she didn’t respect me because she knew Baekhyun was paying for me. That’s why I’ve been working a part time job as a piano accompanist at a ballet school. It was an easy job with a reasonable pay, and I only had to be there twice a week. Thanks to that, I had finally saved enough to pay for this month’s lessons. I just didn’t know if Baekhyun would accept it.

Today was a Saturday and I was doing the homework Miss Fei had given us. I’d actually finished everything but I wanted to double check to avoid mistakes. I was scolded for making just one error last week, and if Baekhyun wasn’t there, I thought she might even beat me.

By the time I was done, I was too tired to climb to bed so I’d fallen asleep on the desk. What woke me up was the creaking sound from the door opening. I lifted my head from my folded arms and looked at the door. “Hi Mr Byun,” I greeted, my voice soft and languid. He was dressed casually in a black sweatshirt and pajama pants, his hair tousled like he had just woken up from sleep and rushed here immediately.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, approaching me.

“Chinese homework,” I answered. “Can you help me check if there’s any mistake?”

He stopped behind my chair and bent over to rest his palms on the desk. His chest touched the back of my head as he scanned my workbook. Suddenly I stopped feeling sleepy but hyper aware. Baekhyun leaned closer when he reached for a pencil, and I had a feeling it was deliberate because the thing he was reaching for was just next to my book. I inhaled, feeling warm all over. Baekhyun remained silent as he continued checking my work. “This one–“ he drew a cross next to my wrong answer. “–is supposed to be a wǔ, not wù, they have different meaning, sweetheart, he explained.

I picked up an eraser and wiped it off before making a correction. If he hadn’t caught that, Miss Fei was gonna to go ballistic. I sighed in relief and glanced up from my desk. He was staring down at me. I wore a grateful smile. “Thank you,”

“Welcome,” He whispered, leaning down to drop a kiss on my lips.

“Why are you here, Mr Byun?” I asked when he pulled away.

His brow furrowed. “Do you not know what day it is?”

My eyes flew to the desk calendar, then I glanced up at him again. “Sunday?” I said hesitantly. Baekhyun frowned at me and I started to get anxious. “Did I forget something?”

Baekhyun sighed. “You are really unbelievable,” He mumbled, setting down the pencil before pushing himself off the desk. He clasped my hand and tugged me up to my feet. “I have a surprise for you,” he said as he walked me out of my bedroom.

He led me down the short hallway and as I stepped out into the open plan living room, my eyes widened. There were a combination of white and pink balloons floating on the ceiling, and rose petals scattered on the floor around the couch. Realization dawned when I saw cake on the coffee table along with other props and gift boxes. I was starry-eyed as he walked me there. I finally glanced at him, my eyes blinking in disbelief. “You did this? for me?”

He wears a smile. “Happy Birthday,”

My eyes flew to the grandfather clock. It was half past twelve. The fact that he remembered my birthday was shocking enough, he even came all the way here at midnight to surprise me. “I…” I didn’t know what to say. Thank you didn’t seem enough.

“Have I stolen your ability to speak, sweetheart?” He teased, one side of his lips curling up. I linked my arm around his and hummed. He chuckled at my sudden clinginess. “How could you forget your own birthday?” He questioned as we both lowered ourselves to the couch.

“I haven’t celebrated in a long time…” I replied, a tremble in my voice. My eyes were getting glassy and I had to keep them open so the tears wouldn’t fall. “Thank you for remembering, Mr Byun,”

“I was going to surprise you at twelve o’clock sharp–“ Baekhyun bent over to light up the candles and I used the opportunity to wipe the tears away. “–but I fell asleep. I hope I’m still the first to wish you?” He asked.

That explained the pajamas. And the hair. My heart warmed at his thoughtfulness. I shifted closer and slid my arms around his waist, giving him a side hug. “You are the first,” And the only one.

Baekhyun straightened his back once he was done and I unwrapped my arms around him. He held the cake towards me. “Make a wi–,” his speech halted as I blew the candles out. He raised his brows. “No wishes?”

I shook my head. “I have everything I need,”

Baekhyun regarded me for a while, seemingly confused, but he didn’t make any comment and placed the cake on the table.

I stared up at the balloons on the ceiling. They were so pretty. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done to me,” I said, looking back at him, a smile on my lips. “I appreciate it, Mr Byun,”

“To tell the truth, it’s my first time doing something like this,”

“Oh?” my head tilted in question. “What about your subs, or your ex-girlfriends?”

“I wrote them a cheque as a gift and they loved it,” he said. “But you don’t seem to like money that much, which is still very strange to me,”

“Of course I like money. But only money I earned with my own hard work,” I clarified. “I look for a sugar daddy to help me pay for college, not to live a lavish lifestyle. So...you don’t have to keep spoiling me,”

“Sweetheart, I like how undemanding you are, but buying you gifts isn’t gonna make me poor,” He insisted gently. “Honestly, every time you say no, it makes me wanna do the opposite,”

I gave him a long stare, hoping for some magic to make him listen. But he just shrugged. I sighed, giving up. “It’s gonna be very hard getting you a present because nothing would measure up,” I muttered under my breath.

“Speaking of present,” he said. “I have another surprise for you,” he tugged at my hand. As I followed him, I really wished he didn’t get me something too extravagant. I’ve been keeping count of the money I owed him because I planned to pay him back one day. Counting all the gifts he bought for me, my hair would turn gray by the time I paid off my debt.

“You said you didn’t want me to spend too much on you, so–” He pushed at the sliding door that led to the balcony. At first, I assumed that he had bought me a new plant, but then, I heard a gurgling sound that wasn’t there before, and as I stepped further in, I finally spotted the surprise.

“You got me a fish?” The surprise made my voice sound a little squeaky. Grinning hard, I moved closer to the rectangular fish tank. They were three little gold fishes. I lowered myself into a squat by the tank and Baekhyun crouched on one knee next to me. My finger tapped on the glass lightly and I giggled when they swam towards me, their fins fluttering in the water. I admired them for a while, and when I felt Baekhyun staring at me, I turned to meet his eyes. “This is the best gift so far,”

“You weren’t this happy when I got you that Chanel bag,” he commented. “I’d do this sooner if I knew,”

“Why did you get me a fish though?”

“I thought you might feel lonely when I’m not here,” he told me. “They can be your company,”

Overwhelmed by this thoughtfulness, I let out a groan of frustration. “You need to stop being so perfect, Mr Byun, it makes me wanna kiss you all the time,”

Laughter filled his voice. “And why is that a problem?”

“Because kissing usually leads to sex…and if we keep having sex, my vagina might actually break.”

Baekhyun blew out a huff of laughter, his eyes full of heat with a mix of amusement. ”I wasn‘t thinking about sex at all, but now I am. Thanks to you,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers slid through my hair and he cupped the back of my head. I stopped breathing, my heartbeat accelerating when he leaned in to press his lips on mine. I let my eyelids drop naturally as he kissed me, soft and slow. When he pulled back, we shared the same desire-filled gaze. “We should go inside,” He whispered over my lips, his words an invitation.

I swallowed and smiled, albeit shyly. “We should,” I whispered back.

Baekhyun glanced over at the fish tank for a second, then his eyes reverted to me. “Do you wanna name them first?” He asked. I bobbed my head, and we were silent for a while as we considered their names. “Hm, what about Bubbles?” He suggested.

“Oh that’s nice! Maybe we can call them Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup?” I proposed. “Since our names also start with a B, I think it’s perfect. What do you think, Mr Byun?”

Baekhyun gave me a soft look and smiled. He probably found it funny that I took this so seriously like I was naming my baby. “Alright, sweetheart,” he agreed.

For the next few minutes, Baekhyun taught me how to care for the goldfishes, like how many times I should feed it daily and how often I should change their water.

We returned to the living room and stored the cake in the fridge for tomorrow. None of us was hungry at the moment.

“I think we should tell Miss Fei to cancel today’s lesson since it’s your birthday,” Baekhyun suggested once we entered my bedroom. He shut the door behind us and stared at me for an answer. Remembering something, I put him on hold as I searched for my purse. This room was too big. Baekhyun took a seat on the edge of my bed and watched me. “What are you looking for?”

Finding my purse under the desk, I lowered myself to the ground and picked up an envelope where I kept my money. I was lifting myself up when Baekhyun reminded me to watch my head. Except it was too late and I’d knocked myself against the roof of the desk. I winced out loud, my hand flying up to rub the pain.

Baekhyun sighed out, shaking his head at my clumsiness. “You’re gonna wind up in the hospital at this rate. Can you please...be more careful?” he reprimanded gently. I flashed him a sorry smile and walked over to him. “Are you okay?” He asked and I answered with a small hum. Despite that, he still observed me closely, probably making sure I was telling the truth.

“I’m okay,” I reassured, climbing into bed and dipped my knee on each side of his thighs. He immediately slid a hand around my back as I lowered myself to sit on his lap, preventing me from falling backward to the ground. “I’ve been saving up,” I told him, holding up the envelope in between our chest. “Here’s this month’s lesson fee,”

He dropped his gaze to the envelope, his brows furrowing. “We’re done arguing about this,” he said firmly.

“Please accept it, Baekhyun,” I pleaded. “I think Ms Fei looks down on me because she knows you’re paying for me,”

He considered me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “How exactly did you come to that conclusion?”

I tried not to read too much into his reaction. Baekhyun was a rational person, he probably needed to hear all the facts before he made a judgement. “For starter, she’s always picking on me over the smallest thing,”

“She’s a teacher, it’s her job to point out your mistakes, but that doesn’t equal hating you, don’t you agree?” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“But–“

“Not everyone is going to coddle you, princess. You’ll never improve that way,”

A sudden wave of anger flared in my chest. Baekhyun and I argued before, but I’ve never gotten worked up like this. I guessed because this situation hit home for me. I could take a scolding, name calling or even a beating, but not when someone doubted my integrity. I slid off his lap and stood on my feet. He stood up and tried to reach for my hands, but I backed away. He frowned and studied me. I stared back at him, my eyes cold. “I’m not a spoiled girl who needs coddling,” I told him boldly. So unlike me. I wasn't usually the assertive one.

Baekhyun must've agreed because he was speechless for a moment. “That’s not what I said,”

“But that’s what you imply,” I argued.

“If you don’t like Miss Fei, we can always find a new tutor for us.” He persuaded me. “I don’t want us to argue on your birthday,”

I didn’t answer to that. I wanted to tell him about the kicking and the pinching, but I doubt he would believe me. I walked to the other side of the bed to stay as far away as possible from him. I got in bed, pulling the comforter over my body and turning to lay on my side. A few seconds later, Baekhyun appeared kneeling on one knee by the bed, his eyes full of concern as he checked on me. Tears welled in my eyes before I could stop it. "I’m not making up stories like you think I am, Mr Byun,” I said, my voice trembled.

His eyes widened slightly at the sight of my crying, maybe because it was his first time seeing me like this. “I don’t–“ he stopped and sighed, sounding so exhausted all of a sudden. His face was blurry through the tears, but I could still detect the guilt clouding his expression. “Sweetheart, shh,” he shushed and reached over to dab my tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “I’m sorry I doubted you. Fei is an old friend of mine, but I should’ve known better. You’re not someone who complains unless something is really bothering you. Had she done something inappropriate to you?”

“I don’t wanna tell you. You’re not gonna believe me.” my words were snippy despite my state. Miss Fei was Baekhyun’s friend of ten years, and I knew him for merely a month. Of course he would trust her more than me.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me right now. But is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

I pulled the cover blanket my head, ignoring him. When he didn’t say anything, it proved that he acknowledged his mistake. Because on a normal day, he wouldn’t appreciate this no-manner attitude from me.

Although I couldn’t blame him for doubting me, that didn’t mean I wasn’t hurt. Dark memories flooded my mind, bringing me back to those tough days when I was still living with my stepmother. She had never believed me when I told her that her boyfriend had been making a move on me. Until it was too late. Well, at least Baekhyun didn’t beat me up like they did. And he apologized. I’d forgiven him, but I didn’t want to speak to him yet. I didn’t care that it was my birthday, the day had never been significant to me anyway.

Author's Note:

hi everyone, it's been a very long while. I updated the 2nd chapter last christmas and in the time i was gone, i was constantly feeling very discouraged and demoralized about my writing. I tried writing story after story but im always worried it isn’t good enough. I've never been confident of myself to begin with, and then with the lack of feedback, I feel even worse. I don't know if I can write any new fics, but I really wanna try completing my ongoing fics hehe thank you for reading this story, i hope this chapter is not that bad, I haven't written for so long. Next chapter is gonna be very fluffy and smutty once the two finally made up! :D and if you like my fic, please show some support by commenting, it's what keeps me going and I really appreciate it! Tell me what you think of this! see you again!

#baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun romance #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x oc #exo smut #baekhyun imagine #byun baekhyun #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun x you

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laurore-stormwitch · 3 years

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Post rule of wolves, about Zoya and Nikolai being soft with each other in one of the many moment of hardship they face. Zoya gets a letter that unsettles her and leans on Nikolai to face more of her demons and move on. I love how Zoya is slowly learning to open up and face her wounds, and how Nikolai is there to catch her. Feedback are always appreciated, so much love to you all

the blood in our veins - ao3

When the sound of leaves crunching under someone’s steps reached her, Zoya did not startle. She knew Nikolai would appear at some point, as he always did, as if he could sense her despair. Or as if someone played the snitch on my escape, more likely. He was the only one to have the key, beside her, and the only one to know she would take refuge here. For a moment, she lingered on what a strange sight she was making; a steel spined harpy perched amongst the wildflowers, her kefta smeared by dirt and pollen, her eyes trained on the ground and a sprout in her hands. She felt his intense gaze on her, his worry. The scent of his skin; Nikolai always tasted like salt and sunburnt skin, like the sea.

“Who ratted me out?”, she asked. He lowered himself toward her, brushing a kiss on her head before kneeling beside her on the ground.

“Tamar”, he answered, “told me you got a letter and dismissed the meeting.” More like run away from it. She would have to thank Tamar for her regard.

Zoya clicked her tongue. A letter. Her hand went in her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to Nikolai. She sensed his concern turn into outrage. Zoya knew it was a matter of time before Sabina reached out to her. After all, her daughter had just become the queen of Ravka. There was no hope left in her heart that her estranged mother would not try to exploit this particular advantage. As long as she was not dead, she supposed. Which, as far as she knew of, could very well be. As it turned out Sabina was not the one Zoya should have been wondering about.

“It’s a long list of arrogant pleading. Get to the end”, she instructed Nikolai. Zoya glanced at him and saw him shook his head with a sigh when he came to the last lines.

“Zoya – “, he tried, his tone insecure, weary of what was the right thing to say. Was there a right thing to say when you lost a father you had already wiped from your mind? The word lost probably was not even fit for the situation.

“He’s been dead a couple of years, apparently. She did not even bother to say how.”

There was no grief left inside her to tug at. No sentiment to pull and mourn over. Nothing left for them, for him. There was just a void lurking next to the well inside her, in which so many stones had tumbled. It was not endless anymore; it stopped right beside her, where Nikolai’s light flooded in through the cracks in her walls. Zoya tried to look for something to hold on to, something to guide her over this empty sea of nothingness. No love, no regret, no pain. The sorrow in the well had always been for Lilyiana, for Lada. For David, for the Grisha, maybe even for herself. A monument to her solitude. None of it was dedicated to the two young people who had given her breath. Yet she felt the void, like it had form and claws that pierced at her heart. Its fingers tied around her throat, squeezed the air out of her lungs.

“I thought maybe I should plant something for him, too. I – I don’t know.”

She murmured. Her voice came out more frail than she had desired to, more vulnerable. Nikolai moved closer, his shoulder brushing on hers. She grasped at that touch that anchored her on this moment, that prevented her from losing herself.

“I don’t know what the Suli ritual is.” The defeat in her tone sparked a flicker of injustice. It was supposed to have been over; the child that did not look back on a wretched church was supposed to have grown. Such restless waters she had had to navigate. How does one separate hatred from fear, love from abandonment, rage from regret?

“We could find out.”

“There’s no time. There’s no time anymore.” To know him. To understand. To take the child in her hand and protect her in an embrace. Faintly, in the distance, Zoya felt Nikolai’s hand on her back, his lips landing again on her cheek.

“Why did you choose this?”, he asked, bobbing his chin at the sprout she was holding, at his light blue blossoms.

“I’m not sure”, she sighed. “When I was very little, there was always a glass of forget-me-nots on the kitchen table. My father used to bring them from the fields at sundown. He stopped before my sixth birthday.”

Zoya never knew what they meant. Her mother told her they were the colour of their eyes, weaving them in her hair. She had felt like a princess in a fairytale, with a crown of blossoms.

“Inej told me the Suli have a saying about love. Her father says that you would know a boy truly loves you when he brings you your favourite flowers. I figured that is why our house was full of them, at first. Maybe these are for both of them. Maybe I should bury my mother too.”

What a sombre, depressing thought, she half expected Nikolai to say. Instead, he just reached for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, watching her in silence. So she forced another sentence out, one that stung to admit. “I thought I did that already the moment I set foot in the Little Palace. I thought they could float away like a river in the sea, instead I just built a dam that feels dangerously close to shatter.”

The quiet stretched on. “I don’t know what they are”, Nikolai admitted. “Your favourite flowers. I don’t know them.”

She moved her gaze to him and wondered what he was seeing. If he had already grown tired of her, of her dark moods and brooding tendencies. Those fears clutched her heart on her worst nights. Was he catching the sheer sentiment in her eyes, the fire that burned for him inside her? How she grasped at his voice like it was the thread that tied her to safety, to belonging? Whatever her failings were, Nikolai’s look never wavered. His certainty, affection. He was the one keeping the dam from falling, keeping her from breaking.

“You told me once I could be branches without blossoms and wait for the summer to come. The way you love…it’s not the fleeting beauty of petals. It’s the strength of roots.”

She spoke before having the chance to think about her words, not sure what she had wanted to convey, pressed by an unfamiliar urge to let him know. Saints, Nikolai was rubbing off on her. His eyes sparkled and he looked taken aback, a fond and surprised smile tugging at his lips. Zoya let his warmth creep into her, before moving back to look at the flowers still resting in her hands.

“I don’t have a favourite one. I like them all.”

Nikolai nodded, his fingers lingering in her hair, brushing through them. “Good to know. See? You are not such a difficult person after all.” Zoya heard him move beside her, sensed his fingers draw away. He gently pulled the plant in front of her. “Let me do it for you”, his voice soft, caring. Let me carry this weight for you. Her hands dug into her kefta, clinging into it as if it could make her remember who she was.

Nikolai pulled his gloves away. She snatched them from him, huffing impatiently. It really was an unnerving habit of his. “Would you stop with these? You do not need them around me. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“Don’t take it out on my gloves”, he grinned at her. Yet, she caught the shadow sweeping through his eyes; the darkness Zoya had never wanted him to hide. He worked in silence, moving the terrain away, placing the sprouts and watering them. Zoya stood still, one hand clung to her kefta, the other tightened around his gloves, watching him as he took care of her garden for her.

“My mother was loud”, she said abruptly. Water leaking from the cracks. Nikolai’s gaze swept toward her as he kept going. There was no other person she could tell this to. Stories needed to be told, She had learned. “Sabina kicked and screamed her way into our misery. She shouted her wrath; she broke the ceramics on the floors, spewing spite. She weaved sweet lies that stuck like sap into my ears, before wiping my tears as I stood in a ridiculous ruffled dress.” Zoya sighed, seeing her memories flash in her mind. She did not want to feel this. She did not want to know. But Juris’ wisdom was unforgiving. “Her frustration, her selfishness. Everything was like thunder. Maybe that’s where I take it from.” A dry laugh escaped her lips, as she forced herself to say what she knew had been the truth this whole time. “My mother was loud. Yet, it was my father’s silence that broke me. That was what carved the hole inside of me. The way he let everything happen, his head slumped on his shoulders, his mouth shut. The emptiness of his affection. It gave me the guilt of not being enough, of not being worthy.”

Zoya kept going, averting Nikolai’s eyes. “Yelling is easy to counter. It enrages you, fires you up, picks at your pride. Silence is different; it cuts you slowly, drains your blood drop by drop, renders you powerless. How do you fight a wall made of nothing?”

His gentle touch moved to her jaw, tracing the lines of her face, grounding her to earth.

“I feel it. I can see it.” Every word she got out seemed to force a split into the void. Warmth flood in, rage went out, passing through her like a blade. The dragon's eyes had opened, whether she had wanted it or not. She felt like drowning. “How unprepared they were. How powerless. The hatred that grew around their souls like thorn wood. It’s the same they have set upon me. I do not want that. I do not want this to be their legacy for me.”

Legacy. What was hers, in this life, and what was theirs? Zoya had Sabina’s eyes, Suhm’s wavy black hair. It gave her comfort to think her pride and her strength came from Lilyiana. Her wind and lightning was born from the making at the heart of the world. What, then? What had they been like, when they were just a boy and a girl in love, dancing under the moonlight? She had shrugged her name as if she could be born anew. Tossed the memories of them as if she could build a new life. That she supposed she had done, at least. Even with this new name, this new life, something of them still remained. The poisoned blood in her veins if nothing else. She could not cut them open and change it, and she had spent her life feeling it flow like a curse through her.

“I cannot go on hating them.” The words were spoken as a shameful confession, as a defeat. As a realization too, however. Nikolai laced their fingers together, making her relent the hold on the kefta.

“Perhaps we should not hate them”, he said, careful and gentle. “Maybe the secret is that we need not pass judgment over them. Maybe the secret is to forgive them.”

Zoya shook her head at Nikolai’s relentless goodwill and optimism. He had forgiven his mother that day in Os Kervo. He had forgiven the one who was not his father, he had delivered his punishment and moved on. And Zoya? She did not have any forgiveness left in her. The hatred, though. Whatever remained of it, she guessed she could try and leave it here, with the blue blossoms thriving from the earth like forgotten hope.

Their legacy might have been just thorns, storms, and thunders. It might have been just the spite that had threatened to rot her insides. Still, it was an inheritance she could find the strength to relent. She could keep their eyes, their blood, Sabina combing her hair and Suhm telling her a goodnight story in his arms, even if she did not miss it, even if she did not remember what that felt like. Zoya was not Nikolai, she was not golden nor kind. She could not justify their weakness; she could not pardon both the screams and the silence. Maybe you could let go, though. She wasn’t sure if it was Juris’ voice or her own to cut through the mist of thoughts. Zoya bleeding in the snow. Zoya crying on her own. Let go.

The dam had broken, but the dragon queen did not drown. Hours could have passed, or minutes. Nikolai had put his jacket on her shoulders, the fabric thick and warm. He had not spoken anymore, just sat with her in the quiet as the sun disappeared. At some point, when the chill had started creeping in her bones, he had tugged her up and walked her to her chambers, dismissing the Heartrender twins who stood guard on her door with a wave of his hand. Zoya had let him handle her, leaning in his touch. Only when the lock clicked, she had let herself release her breath, slumping in her favourite velvet sofa. The crackle of the fire was comforting. Nikolai had called for tea, murmured something in her ear she did not remember. He had sat on her desk next to her, working through some documents while she got back to herself. The familiar rhythm of their quiet caught on, enveloping the room, soothing as a cold cloth on an open wound.

Time did not matter anymore. Zoya had the cup in her hands, the fire in front of her, and Nikolai’s jacket still curled around her. His scent was tight on the fabric. It lulled her into a silent calm, along with the rhythmic pounding of her heart, the sound of Nikolai’s pen scraping the paper, of his hands scribbling, the muffled huff of his breath. Peace washed over her in a tide.

“What is it like?”

Zoya suddenly spoke, after what felt like an eternity. The tea had turned cold. She kept her look trained on the fire. Nikolai stilled, relenting whatever piece of work he was doing, arching a brow at her. The question was vague, at the very best. “Not being an only child”, she added. Now his attention peaked on her.

He shuffled back the papers on her desk, got up and came to her. Moving her feet away, he eased himself on her sofa, letting Zoya stretch her legs over him, resting his hands on her calves and leaning his head on a cushion. His careful look never left her face, turned thoughtful as her question travelled his mind.

“I adored my brother”, Nikolai started, slowly, “Worshipped him. Loved him with every fibre of my being. Until I did not anymore. We were not bound, or tight, and well – we all know how that turned out. It was an embarrassment and a weight, more than an anchor like I desired him to be. And I did desire that a lot.”

Zoya looked at him. She left the cup on the nightstand; as soon as her hands were free, Nikolai snatched one of them in his. “And Linnea?”, she asked. An affectionate smile curled his lips.

“Linnea is…different. I feel the kinship – and not just because we both have a soft heart for ships. I know she is me, for some part, and I am her. She’s more grounded than me, more quiet, more practical.” He brushed a thumb over her palm, tightening the hold. “I guess that’s why she likes you. I am quite scared at how much you two get along, frankly. And she has this creative, restless energy, she is charming in her own silent way, brilliant. Sometimes it’s like I’m looking inside some sort of distorted mirror. In some life I may have had if I took a different path.”

Yet, the choices they had been forced to make forged a solitary childhood for them. A lonely boy looking for sounds to fill his deafening silence, a vengeful girl screaming her rage over lost love. Had they been choices at all? When had they stopped being their parents’ sins, and had they become their own? How long can you blame a mother’s failings, how long can a daughter or a son be defined by rage and guilt? Zoya could see the same query behind Nikolai’s eyes. He spoke again, tentative, a vulnerable edge to his voice. The lonely boy, looking for hope in the vengeful girl.

“I want her to know me. I want her to care for me, to be honest. I feel protective of her. I feel like I cannot wait to show her every wonder I know of. The wonder of life, of adventure. The wonder of romance”, he managed to wink at her, “I wish to be for her the brother Vasily never was for me. To make up for lost time. This is idiotic, right?”

He huffed at the end, as if he could dismiss the intense desire for a family that still haunted him; there was a slight plea in his look, darkened under the dim light of the fire. Zoya felt an ache in her throat, and she knew there were tears in her eyes. She could feel them clouding her sight. They belonged to the little raven-haired child that silently cried alone in a corner, in all her nightmares. It was not a cry for grief, but one of deluded wanting. She leaned in, brushing some golden strands from Nikolai’s face. He was looking at her like she was his light in the storm, even though he had just been the one to pull her back from a devouring pain.

“We should have her here more often”, she said. Nikolai wiped one of her tears away. “We should have them here more often. Linnea and your father. You deserve to have this family, Nikolai.”

Nikolai stopped his hand on her neck, grinning wider at her.

“Zoya, I already have one.” She frowned at him.

“I hardly count as a family. I am just me.”

“Then I’ll have two. So long as you stop referring to yourself as just you.” Zoya rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. He started fidgeting with a loose silver bead on her kefta’s cuff. Another unnerving habit of his, the way he always snatched those away. “Why do you ask?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I wasn’t an only child. I would have had someone to shield and someone to shelter in. To give me purpose, I suppose.”

A little brother, a little sister whom she could watch grow up and think how much better than her they were, how much softer, how much worth preserving. Though it had not been like that, for Sabina and Lilyiana. It was best not to linger on what ifs. She huffed and shifted, suddenly nervous; time to face this problem head on. “You think I should help her, right?”, she asked, knowing damn well what the answer was. Needless to say, Sabina’s letter pleaded for Zoya’s support, lamenting her misfortunes, and praising her daughter’s victories. Especially the gifts she could share. Even if she had not stated it, Zoya was sure that a jewel or two would be just fine. Greedy and hollow like she remembered.

“I think you should do what makes you comfortable.” Zoya shot him a threatening glare, and he chuckled. “Fine”, Nikolai added, “but don’t kill me. I think you’ll keep the weight on your chest as long as you do not help her. I think maybe it would bring you some peace to do it. Still, I support whatever decision you make.” He marked the last words, and she knew he meant it.

“I don’t want to be the bearer of my mother’s misery.” Zoya despised herself a little while admitting it. An exasperated grunt erupted from her as she threw her hands in the air. “How can I feel responsible for her?”

“I guess that’s the curse of being a daughter. You can’t relent the blood in your veins, not anymore that you can ignore the good heart that thrived inside you behind all of your spite.”

Maybe the secret is that we need not pass judgment over them. Maybe the secret is to forgive them.

How she loathed when Nikolai was right. It made him insufferable. And unfortunately, he was right most of the time. Unbearably reasonable. He smirked, as if he could read her thoughts and sense his victory.

Zoya might have been an angry and unloved little thing, but that was not what she was anymore. She had been a soldier, a general, a loyal friend. She was a queen now. And most certainly not alone, she thought, gazing at the confident ball of sunshine seated next to her. Had this happened before the war, before knowing Nikolai, her crueler and colder heart would have prevailed and she wouldn’t have thought twice on this, burning the letter along with her sentiment. The beaming boy had definitely rubbed off on her.

“I can not forgive her, or them. I do not have it in me. And I cannot forget, not for now”, she said, cautious. That was what Lilyiana had always desired for her: to release the hold on her anger. For her, she could try. “But I can start by letting go. We can find her work in a factory, with a salary and some retirement money. I can provide her with a dignified life. That is all I can do. I will not get a letter from her anymore; I will not grant her audience or listen to her words. Someone will have to deal with this.”

Juris roared inside her, clearly displeased. Hush, you lizard. How irritating of him. Be a dragon, bide your time and stop harassing me. Enough progress for today. Nikolai, on the contrary, smiled at her with relief, nudging her closer.

“We will arrange it.” He let her rest her head in the crook of his neck, curling his arms around her. “Do you think you can close your eyes and rest for a while now?”. His voice was already coming from afar, as she inhaled deeply in his skin and her lashes fluttered closed with exhaustion. Zoya wished her days as queen would become less tiring, and she also wished they could always end in Nikolai’s safe hold. Her mind fell silent; the last thing she heard was his whisper hovering around her. “I got you, Zoya.”

Zoya could still be a daughter, could take the raven-haired child in her arms. Daughter of the wind. She could still be whole, worthy, and loved. We see you. She could be at peace. The world went black; yet, it was not dark.

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papergirllife · 3 years

Text

Chapter 3

Synopsis:

You don’t know what it’s like to be free, to make your own choices, and live your own life. For your whole life, your parents have been treating you like a puppet on strings, controlling your life to every single detail, as well as ignoring the fact that you have feelings. Other times, when you disobey their wishes, or speak up about your own opinions, they bash you down with words, in other words, psychological abuse, has led you down the long winded road of depression and anxiety. What happens when you meet a man who’s willing to be your guide out of this terrible downpour? Would you give a shot at happily ever after?

Warnings:

big age gap (kinda?)

issues on anxiety

issues on depression (mild)

issues on parental abuse

smut (maybe)

Tag List: @etherealtyjaem , @caratzennie , @johnnysuhnflower , @euphoricchannie , @yeollieseo , @jjhmk , @sherzess , @wonderfulkoreanpop

(lmk if you wanna be on the list)

You’ve been seeing Mr Suh, correction, Johnny, his first name, as per requested by Johnny himself.

“Mr Suh makes me feel older than I already am, you make me feel like a teenager all over again, so you have to call me Johnny. Let me relive my days when I was still a college kid.”

You didn’t mind, things aren’t as awkward between the two of you anymore, Johnny’s been spending time with you, although the two of you never established any sort of labelling towards what this relationship is. You and Johnny only hung out and had meals together, trying out different cuisines, watching movies, even going as far as skipping a day at work to go to the amusement park. He even bought you to an arcade when you told him you haven’t had the chance to venture to one since you were in grade school.

“Why haven’t you ever been to one for so long?” Johnny asked when he finished a round of pinball.

“They said it was a waste of time and that I should spend more time studying,” you said, wondering why Johnny would ask that, isn’t it the same for all the kids?

Whenever you mention your confining life to Johnny, he’d have a faraway look in his eyes, jaw locked in silent rebuke, he doesn’t say anything, he pulls you close, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. He would be quite for almost half an hour before he goes back to regular cheerful Johnny, telling you lame jokes that you would surprisingly find funny.

You didn’t have a phone, since your parents forbid you to have one, the only means of communicating is through your email account on your laptop, and even that you must always bear in mind to delete his mails right after, and take further precaution, you didn’t allow him to initiate the sending.

Johnny wanted to buy you one, but you rejected him promptly, you didn’t want him to spend so much money on you, he already spends lots on taking you out to eat. You gave him the excuse that it was too dangerous, and the consequences of getting caught are severe.

You often questioned your relationship with Johnny, you aren’t dumb, you’ve googled him and saw gossip news portals uploading photos of him and some model going out and about in hotels, but those headlines were months ago, the latest news about him was from his interview with Times magazine.

You never had the guts to ask him, you don’t know what you mean to him. What right do you have to question his whereabouts and what he does? He’ll probably be bored of you after he’s known all of you.

You know you shouldn’t think of Johnny that way, it is mean to assume what he’s thinking, especially how well he’s treating you, but seeing those headlines gives you a sense of insecurity, you keep telling yourself that this won’t last, but the thought of not seeing him again made your hair stand. He’s making you happy, a distraction towards the negativity you face in that house you live in, but for how long?

House. You never called it a home, unless you were telling your boss you were leaving, to prevent anyone from questioning your odd way of describing it. It was never a home to you. To you, a home is a place where you feel happy, safe, and most importantly, loved. The closest you’ve ever felt to having these feelings were your grandma and Joh... No, you don’t love him, and he doesn’t love you. What were you thinking?

You pushed those thoughts away as you opened your laptop to double check the files that you’ve typed out for your parent’s next important meeting that was supposed to be taking place first thing tomorrow. But when you went through your folders, the files were nowhere to be seen. It’s then you realised that the notification that keeps urging you to update the laptop was gone, it wasn’t the first time you updated the laptop and found out some files were missing, so you would never update the laptop at such a crucial time.

You took the laptop out to your father who was watching some news on his phone in the dining area to ask him if he had updated the software without alerting you.

“Yes, I did. What about it?” he asked, annoyance on his face due to the sudden disturbance.

“The files are missing because of the update,” you informed him.

“What files?”

“The files for tomorrow’s meeting, they’re missing,” you told him as you mentally prepared yourself for what’s to come.

“What do you mean missing?! I bet it was because you saved it wrongly again! Your retarded brain never works does it?! Do you know how important those files are?! You always work on them late at night blurry eyed, of course you didn’t save them properly! You could’ve worked on them in the morning before work. but no... You want to ‘exercise’! What a waste of time!” You’re not pretty anyways, what are you doing them for huh?!” Your father shouted, his eyes blazing in rage, his fist slamming onto the glass.

While your father was shouting, your mother was checking the laptop as she complains about how clueless you are. It was like your brain couldn’t take the amount of hurtful words piercing into your mind like daggers, you let out a high pitched scream as tears threatened to fall, your hands covering your ears as your eyes were a blur.

When you could see properly again, you could make up words which sounded like ‘how dare you’ from your father, next thing you registered were the fury in his eyes as he advances on you, hand above his head, ready to hit you. You didn’t know what came over you, but the first thing you did was kicking him away. That’s when a full on fight broke out.

You were filled with rage, your mind wasn’t registering what you were doing. You went into a flight or fight stance and started thrashing and kicking as his hands were holding painfully tight on your wrists after you tried punching him.

Your mom urges the both of you not to fight, her voice barely registering in your head as she sits still on the high chair by the kitchen island, not bothered to even try to cease the fight.

When you finally pushed him away, you ran into your room and locked it. Your chest was heaving from the panic attack that just started, you tried your best to calm yourself down, reminding yourself to breathe, it was suffocating, controlling your breathing as more tears made its way out of your eyes.

When it all stopped, your body succumbed into mental exhaustion, passing out on your bed as the tears finally ceased.

You only woke up for dinner last night, and proceeded to sleep again. Yesterday’s events made you feel numb, other than the pain from the bruises on your arms.

There was a big ugly one on your left upper arm, its colour an ugly shade of green and purple. A few other less serious ones scattered around your lower arms. In other words, you look like a wreck.

You wore a jacket to run even though you were sweating from your previous cardio work outs, feeling a little better after the endorphins in your body kicked in. When you got back, you quickly showered and ate a toast. When you asked for your mother’s phone to remind your boss you were going to take the day off, she told you that weren’t needed at the meeting anymore and that she finished everything last night.

“Just call to say that you’ll be going to work,” she said, not even looking in your direction when she handed you her phone.

But when you called to inform your boss, he told you that he had another part time coming in, and that it was too short of a notice. You said thank you and hung up, but said that you’ll be at work on time today before handing it back to your mother.

You really needed to escape for the day.

You opened the laptop and sent an email to Johnny.

I’m free today. Wanna go out?

You sat on your bed staring at the ceiling as you were sure it was going to be a bit before he replied, but just as you closed your eyes, you heard a distant chime from your laptop.

I’m rushing some stuff at the office today. I’m so sorry, Y/N.

Can I stay in your office? I really wanna get out of the house.

You sounded like a spoiled kid begging for attention, but you really wanted to see him today.

Sure. But you might get bored :) .

I’m leaving the house now :) .

For a 26 year old businessman, he sure loves to use emoticons.

You got changed into jeans and a jacket, you don’t usually wear one if you were going to a secluded area with Johnny, but you had to hide all the marks from last night. You just noticed that they hurt after you accidentally knocked your wrist against something.

You took the bus to the address Johnny wrote down on your diary, it was after one of your dinners together, and he jokingly said that you could always swing by if you wanted, you didn’t know you were going to actually do that.

The bus station wasn’t too far of a walk from his office, since it was just downtown Seoul where the Korea’s financial hub was located.

As you were nearing the office buildings, you stood out like a sore thumb, given the way you were dressed and your age. The people kept giving you stink eyes and sideway glances.

Suh Capital Partners. That was it.

You walked in the rotating doors, only to be greeted by masses of people walking around with smart pads, files, talking on the phone while the assistants take notes. Johnny didn’t mention his company being this big.

You admired the facade of the lobby, it displayed the latest news on a large monitor while futuristic lights hung from the high ceiling, the walls were a perfect balance of steel and wood with a wall of plants filled the wall behind the reception area.

You realised that the people stopped what they were doing before and started looking at you curiously when one of the nicely dressed women from the reception walked up to you.

“Excuse me, miss. May I ask who are you looking for?” the woman asked, her eyes scanning you from top to toe.

You froze at your spot from how cold she sounded, like she didn’t want you around to ruin the aesthetic of the company. You reminded yourself that you weren’t going to see her anytime soon after this and that if you did make a fool of yourself then so be it.

“I’m looking for Mr Suh,” you told her.

She looked taken aback from your answer, but gave you the ugliest sneer when she recovered.

“Miss, this isn’t a school, you can’t just walk in here and demand to see someone without an appointment. Mr Suh is the head of this company, not someone you can just meet without an agreement from him. Please leave this instance,” she said, her tone high pitched enough to gather everyone’s attention, you swore you heard someone laughing a few feet away.

“But...

“That’s my guest, Ms Park.”

You whipped your head back to see Johnny standing behind you. But instead of his usual warm honey eyes, his eyes were a cold and staring daggers into the woman in front of you.

“I’m so sorry, Mr Suh. I’ll get back to my work now,” the woman bowed apologetically, going as far as doing it numerous times.

“I’m going to need a key card for her, Ms Park. Send it up to me when you’re done,” Johnny said, but his eyes were scanning the crowd, his employees immediately went back to what they were doing, the large lobby void of any sound other than people rushing to the lift lobby to escape the scene.

Johnny placed a hand behind your back and guided you to the lift lobby after most of the people have taken the ride up to their respective floors.

“I’m sorry,” you said after the coast was clear.

Johnny’s intimidating stance broke as confusion takes over his face.

“What are you sorry for?” Johnny asked, he should be the one saying sorry.

“I’m such an embarrassment, coming here in my jeans and jacket with a canvas bag, looking like a kid,” you said, fingers nervously tugging the straps of your old bag.

“Hey, hey, hey. Nothing’s wrong with being young and dressing your age. They’re just grumpy from all the work. Don’t take their words into account, and you look great. Perfection as always,” Johnny said reassuringly, hands placed on your shoulder, the warmth of his palms calming you slightly.

“No....

You buried your face into your hands as he patted your head, you sneakily glanced up to see him smiling at you with a toothy grin. But you quickly regained posture as you saw an elevator door open with many pairs of legs.

Johnny wasn’t going in even though the lift was going up, that’s when people in the lift realised it was him, and quickly came out of the lift, saying sorry and greeting Johnny.

Johnny guided you in after the lift was cleared empty. His staff looking at you curiously, you weren’t used to having so many pairs of eyes on you, their curious eyes burning holes into you.

Johnny could sense your anxiousness from the way you were hiding behind his tall figure as the two of you walked into his office, there weren’t many people at that time, given the fact that only direct reports of his business partners came up to hand in documents.

You only felt yourself loosen up a bit after you took a seat on Johnny’s armchair in his huge office, overlooking Seoul’s skyline and the cars that were buzzing about on the roads. The view made you calm down a bit from the journey coming up here.

You felt the chair dip as Johnny took a seat on its armrest, his hands coming up to give your shoulders a nice massage. Johnny smiled at the way your eyes lit up from his comforting touch as you looked back to smile at him, he felt a warm feeling deep in his belly as he takes in your beautiful features and the warmth of your shoulders on his fingertips. But as he puts more pressure onto your shoulders, you wince slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Did your boss at work make you lift heavy stuff again?” Johnny asked, his hands ceased all movements, fearing that he would hurt you again.

You automatically thought of your fight with your father last night, it might be because of the force exerted from when he had pushed you.

“N-no, I just didn’t sleep well last night. I watched a horror movie and had a nightmare,” you lied, not knowing how he would react if you told him the truth.

“Be careful when watching these movies, Y/N. If you went to work and your boss really made you move heavy things today, then you would’ve strain your muscles,” Johnny said, going back to massaging your shoulders, but this time gently applying pressure on that spot, rubbing it in clockwise circles to ease the pain.

“I’m fine, Johnny. Didn’t you have work to rush? I don’t want to keep you away from important matters. And my shoulders feel much better now,” you said, moving away from his hands even though you could’ve let him do that forever, it felt so comforting, borderline addictive.

“Okay, I’ll tend to your shoulders again later.” Johnny said as he lays his head on top of yours, a gesture that he had came up with whenever he wanted to show affection to you without crossing uncharted territories, your heart sped up whenever he does that.

You were just sitting on the couch reading one of your old books when you looked up and saw Johnny frowning at his laptop, you placed your book down and made your way to Johnny.

“Don’t frown like that, you’ll get frown lines when you’ll get older, it’ll spoil your handsome face,” you joked.

Your hands reach out to smooth the creases on his forehead, a smile coming back to Johnny’s face.

“Thank you,” he said, taking your busy hand into his, lightly tracing the area between your thumb and your index finger.

“What’s bothering you?” you asked, unbeknownst to you, your lips were unconsciously set in a pout.

“There’s some documents that are supposed to be sent to my office in Chicago, but the English that’s written here isn’t up to standards, I’m worried the staff there won’t understand what the document is stating. I don’t mind correcting it, but I have other things to tend to as well,” Johnny explained to you.

“Can I take a look at it? I had Cambridge classes for 8 years. Guess it’s finally coming in handy. I mean only if you think I’m capable, I don’t want you to think I’m boasting or anything, I just really wanna help...

“Y/N, sweet, I trust you. Just let me get you a laptop,” he said before dialling to his secretary.

Once Johnny sent the files to that laptop, you started correcting some grammatical errors and replaced some terms that weren’t as professional, when Johnny was done with his meeting, you were done with the documents as well.

“Here, take a look. There might be mistakes,” you said after sending him the files back.

“You were reading ‘me before you’, I think you’re fine, Y/N,” Johnny deadpanned.

“Just take a look, just in case,” you pleaded, doe eyes capturing his heart. Nodding, Johnny smiles, doing as you said.

Johnny scanned through the documents, his eyes lighting up brighter after each sentence, a proud smile making way on his face. When he was done, he pulled you close by the waist, and gave you a warm hug, his head nuzzling into your sweater.

“Thank you so much, sweetheart. I thought I needed to work overtime because of this,” he said, his voice was slightly muffled by the cotton.

“You’re welcome. You can always send me these files when I’m not here, I don’t want you to overwork yourself,” you offered.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Wanna grab lunch? I can hear your stomach rumbling,” Johnny asked after pulling away, a cheeky glint in his eyes.

You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, as you hit Johnny’s shoulders lightly for his teasing, a smile creeping up your face.

“No, I’m not...

“Come on, I know this really nice French restaurant around the corner...

“Johnny I have the file you were...

Doyoung stops in his tracks as he sees you and Johnny being so close to each other.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had a guest,” Doyoung apologises, but his eyes were still wide in disbelief.

“Doyoung. This is Y/N. Y/N, Doyoung is one of my business partners, his dad was my dad’s business partner so now it’s his turn,” Johnny introduces his friend to you, telling you a bit of his background.

You gave Doyoung a tiny bow and soft hello, nerves wrecking up at meeting someone you often see on telly whenever their company has a press conference. You could sense an air of discomfort as Doyoung gives you a questioning look.

“You can just put the files on my desk Doyoung. I’ll take a look at them after my lunch break.”

When the evening rolled in, Johnny had to drive you home before your mom questioned your whereabouts.

“I really enjoyed having you by my side today, Y/N,” Johnny said sincerely after pulling up outside the gated area.

“I should be the one thanking you, I can’t believe those snails cost so much, yet you won’t let me pay you back whenever we have meals together,” you retorted, recalling how your eyes almost flew out of their sockets when you stole a glance at the bill.

“Money is not an issue, Y/N. I told you that many times before,” Johnny reminded you.

“I’ll see you on Saturday?” you asked, changing the subject before he offers to buy you a house or something.

“Yeah,” Johnny said, chuckling at how you diverted his attention.

Johnny unlocked the doors of his car, but right before you pulled onto the handle, Johnny pulled your arm, the place where one of the bigger bruises were located at, making you wince at the unexpected pain.

“Y/N I wanted to ask, wait. Are you in pain? Are you hurt? Did I accidentally hurt you?” Johnny asked his eyes wide in worry.

Before you could protest, Johnny pushed up the sleeves of your sweater, revealing the big ugly bruise on your upper arm, and several others that went downwards until your wrist.

You looked up at Johnny, scanning his face that was frozen in shock, eyes not believing what he’s seeing. His fingers gently tracing every bruise, his other hand rotating your arm gently, to see if there’s more.

“Y/N... Who did this to you?” Johnny questioned, but deep down in his gut, he’s sure it’s who he thinks it is.

“No one, Johnny. I just fell down when I woke up,” you said, lying through your teeth, you didn’t want to, but that was your survival instinct whenever someone asks about your parents.

“Don’t lie to me Y/N, it’s them isn’t it? They hit you. Why didn’t you tell me?” Johnny demanded, he questions why you don’t trust him, was he not worthy in your eyes?

“It’s nothing, Johnny. Goodnight,” you said in a breath before turning away.

You quickly got out of his car and ran to your lift lobby, Johnny was following behind you. But before he could step into the premise, you shut the glass door which could only be opened with a security card on him, mouthing the words sorry before you made your way into a lift.

Johnny banged at the door, shouting for you to come back, before the security guards asked him to leave. He could feel a prickle in his heart as he sees the bruises in his head, the image fresh. He felt red hot anger boiling in his heart, he was going to get you out of that horrible place, no matter what it takes.

#nct smut #nct fluff #johnny smut #johnny suh #johnny fluff #nct #wayv #nct dream #nct 127

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i-watch-too-many-movies · 3 years

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5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

#favorite first watches #these movies are (chef's kiss)#beyond the valley of the dolls #russ meyer #deep cover #bill duke #fast five #justin lin #last days #gus van sant #the village #m night shyamalan

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