#its just...my stupid fucking brain

[pickled-flowers]

Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

#sex positivity is also respecting sex lives that dont look like yours #or lack thereof #and insulting people by saying they dont fuck make you sound stupid <3 #im sorry i just cant take people who use their sex lives as a flex seriously its just not my thing! #like yea having lots of kinky sex is cool but not having sex and not being interested by sex is also cool #one is not better than the other the human experience is just very varied and diverse #its normal you wont understand everyone your brain isnt even made to comprehend how many human there are in the world #but we should all have spaces to navigate our sex lives as we wish even if that means interacting with sex as a subject as little as possibl

[milkweedman]

It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.

#it turns out it is not covid vaccine making me highly fucked up but rather this new med which is fun #um #one of thise 'high but wow. in such a bad way' kinda experience atm #almost fell down the stairs #tripped while just standing #and its like. ok so the thing is i go to pain management to manage my pain right ? makes sense #and then all they have to offer is shit that fucks me up more. the muscle relaxant that seems to have permanently #loosened all my joints so they are WAY WORSE NOW #stupid ssris that make me fall constantly and fuck with my brain #i literally just need a painkiller that works. that is all. we know what was effective from surgery #but they of course will never prescribe opiods. oh the horror. imagine. #i could scream #anyway. uh thinking about the interconnectedness of math in all things is much more fun than screaming #knitting

[not-another-robin]

I CANNOT let my father see those stupid arkham files game ads. He has boardgame autism he wouldn't stand a chance

#they keep showing me the ads >:[ FUCK YOU!!! i refuse to let my dad spend $100 on me #also i am too stupid to understand most complex games #like u wonder why i haven't continued my telltale let's play..... #its not even complicated it my brain just doesn't understand #anyway what if i made more stupid personal posts on here. look at my life boy

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[treasure-goblin]

...

#i wanna talk to people #but im stuck #i wanna tell about my brain thoughts but im stuck #i need people to ask questions because then im *allowed* to talk and can think better #but thats a burden to people #i cant be a burden #its not their fault i cant fucking communicate normally others shouldn't have to put in work just to make me feel better #this is so stupid #goblin vents

[sunsetcorvid]

hyperfixates so hard that it interferes with my school and basic bodily needs

#okay like genuinely i cant focus on anything i cant do my work #im on academic probation because of this i dont know what to do at this point #any time i try to do one assignment my brain blocks it all out and i get so frustrated that i just dont do it #its so fucking stupid why cant i just focus on one assignment for 2 minutes i dont need to brainstorm object shows 24/7 im so tired of this #i dont even know how to put my frustrations into words now urgh #miles rambles #vent post #kinda #tw vent #may delete later

[aaliyahtheawkward]

Guys, but what if Red Hood's helmet was never about protecting his identity or hiding his baby face. What if it was just about protecting him from potential head trauma.

Think about it, when Talia found him he was catatonic and suffering from severe brain damage. Brain damage that she tried every natural means to heal before ultimately resorting to the pit. Ain't no way she was about to let the baby bird she literally nursed back to health go out into the world and ruin all of her hard work.

His mommy literally sent him off to become a crime lord and traumatize his father with a fucking safety helmet.

The anonymity of it was purely coincidental, but I'd bet my left tit that she emphasized that aspect of it to get him to use it without complaining about her perfectly reasonable overprotective tendencies.

#lmfaoo #just a thought #thats been living in my brain rent free recently #jason todd #red hood #talia al ghul #tiger mom talia #good mom talia #red hoods hood isnt a hood #its a safety helmet #his mom said safety first #she said i did not birth you from my pit of madness for you to return to your fathers city only to die from a fucking crowbar to the head #again #dont be stupid habibi #i raised you better than this #jason: but mooooom everyones gonna know #talia: how will they know?? #💀 #we always make fun of jason for his earlier helmets #but i find the thought of him only wearing them reluctantly and under extreme duress due to talias nagging even more hilarious #he used to sit on his favorite gargoyle brooding about the aesthetic sacrifices he makes for his mother #and how everyone is making fun of him for it #and like #he hated those first few helmets #and he lived in dread of every new updated version she came up with #like the one with the lips!!! #the LIPS!!!! #but if anyone made fun of them to his face hed shoot them in their fucking kneecaps because he got them from his MOTHER #his MOM is concerned about his safety #shes such a good mom and she loves him so much hes so lucky to have her and her hundreds of ugly helmets 🥰

[slutdge]

my brain is not on so i hope this makes sense but forced institutionalization of all kinds will never be leftist and it will always do harm like i know yall cryptolibs that get all your knowledge of leftism from memes and think you dont need to read any theory think some forms of institutionalization are ok but like. no they are not. the answer will always be compassion and rectifying the symptoms of society that, by current laws, forces someone into institutionalization in the first place. yes this includes psychiatric institutionalization. psych wards and institutions do very little to treat people, and in a lot of cases actually make them worse. youve never experienced psychiatric abuse and it fucking shows. have a nice day.

#my brain is on 3% i hope this made sense #a lot of yall wanna abolish prisons and no other form of institutionalization. its not very hello kitty says acab of you bestie. #it just. it makes me so fucking upset!!!! #because when i was a kid the solution was just ''oh send her to the psych ward thatll fix her'' #and then when i leave the psych ward im put right back in the same abusive household that made me suicidal in the first place #nothing changed #im so fucking done with people who think theyre lefty still advocating for forced institutionalization #it doesnt do fucking anything #its giving the same vibe as the paradox of tolerance if that makes sense #im still trying to process the abuse ive gone through in institutions. if you think it helps anyone youre fucking stupid. sorry not sorry.

[gloucester-carousel]

voices this is of utmost importance

#rain world #rain world oc #iterator oc #more stupid shit with them its soooo easy to draw them just fucking around instead of. yknow. being sad #these guys are serious characters i promise im rotating them in my brain CONSTANTLY

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator #i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much #but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday #forever and ever drawing #but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal #literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i #chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms #bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys #the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so #long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from #everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is #warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable #but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head #hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor #for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b #i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am #but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the #past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria #unrelated

[belleandsaintsebastian]

.

#arfghgghg i just need to get over this stupid. health anxiety its fucking. ruining my life i literally think i'm going to die from (insert #random symptom) like every day its insane and i hate the way it gets worse when i've just finished like. a big project at uni or my stress #levels over something have dramatically dropped and suddenly my brain is like :) let's invent something for u to worry about.... #i fucking!!!!!!!HATE OCD so much. anyways going 2 the doctor this week 2 get smth #checked out. i'm freaking out a bit but!!! i dont even know i feel so stupid all the time aghhhhhh i wish i could just. stop feeling this #constant state of dread and anxiety and a need to constantly be occupied by stuff or i'll just die or something idk ://

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[ecoamerica]

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[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[moroslavklose]

#at any given moment of any given day #this stupid mf just had to ski #fuck skiing #its not my fault i keep getting reccomended compilations of him sweeper keeping #the algorithm sucks me in and reshapes my brain #not that it needed reshaping anyway

[girlwiththegreenhat]

nobody talk to me i've been emotional all week over king's dad having kept an eye on him his whole life from The In-Between. much like spinel, i will never be able to watch the series the same way again

#liz blogs #toh #the owl house #king clawthorne #i dont know what to tag his dad as. uh #the titan #papa titan #yeah thats what came up and i'll use it #this trope comes for Me specifically every time. i will never not weep my eyes out over it. #and with the suggestion that the titans can control the weather and shit #i am remembering when the titan trappers sent that letter and hooty ate it because there was a bug on it #yeah that was god vibe checking ur stupid letter and sending the bug to destroy it #mental illness please go AWAY i WANT TO DRAW TOH !!!!! I HAVE IMAGES IN MY BRAIn #i am cursed with Visions #you literally just have to show me a silly and or down to earth dad character and oops they're one of my favorites now #do not read me #i loaf you... shut the fuck u p...... weeps #yeah i just watched the episode for a third time with my brother and its just digging the brainrot in deeper #god. god. toh was such a good show. im so tired of every show i love getting cancelled.

[oysterself]

revoking everyones she/her privileges cause im getting real tired of cisgenders always calling me it and its pissing me off every time i hear it from anyone now

#meowing #literally was at the pharmacy earlier ordering a refill for my testosterone and the girl had to go ask another guy abt it or whatever and #he was like ask the patient what she wants to do its her choice (i didnt have enough refills on my prescription to get my normal amount) #like i guess youre not really wrong but take a hint dumb fuck if im ordering testosterone why would u immediately refer to me with she/her #atp it just always feels malicious like seriously can you guys not. at least ask for my prns like i dont like being asked feels like #im getting clocked but maybe break out the brain cells and stop being a fucking idiot FUCK I HATE CISGENDER PEOPLE YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID