#its not even because of the virus and staying inside?

[anantaru]

— telling him “we need to talk”

including childe, gorou, alhaitham, scaramouche x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, crack, childe's part is a bit sad, we‘re evil, they're panicking

— childe

"oh! and one last thing." you pause, luring a deep gulp of air through your snagged throat, "can you come over tonight? we need to talk."

correspondingly, childe groggily rubbed his eyes and frowned at the wearisome remembrance of your previous accursed encounter— it just couldn't leave him alone, that constricted gruff of panic.

the words you had spoken out earlier were continuing to peskily repeat themselves through his psyche, again and again— like a virus progressively taking over its host— and it did, wretchedly slow, even after he finished a couple more salient tasks of his work.

did something happen between you both? or did he unintentionally do something he should be aware of but isn't?

nowadays, he had been abundantly occupied with carrying on the crucial duties as the eleventh fatui harbinger, essentially the befalling of the various nations all around teyvat in search of the enigmatic gnosis.

consequently, ajax would go on about balancing his private life together with his work in a notably strategic way. He had always made it a habit to keep the serious out of your relationship, though now he was debating wether or not that was your last straw.

because you see, ajax was convinced you'd actually dump him tonight.

so, well, under those circumstances, yeah, it's fine, he's fine, or wasn't he? after all he couldn't force you to stay, maybe, he's joking, perhaps.

he gave himself a second to rewind his rational thinking in search of a breakout from this state of affairs but instead, a rising silence befell his mind and he couldn't concentrate for the life of him.

by that means, childe was inordinately nervous and a dizzying sense of anxiety had been manifesting from inside out— his breathing too, had become nimble, he felt as if someone had been suddenly suffocating him with a giant plastic bag over his head.

and then presently, there he was.

without a way to escape he was soon trapped in between the door and your body when he closed it shut behind him. You had made him follow you to the living room— your face, without a doubt, undisturbed and calculative which didn't make the appalling situation any better, due to this action his dreadful judgment prevailed over him much more unyielding.

he began to hatch a plot; because if he manipulates his emotions good enough while bamboozling himself over and over that he was in fact, okay, he'll maybe not suffer from an integral cardiac arrest after this blood curdling conversation.

for a brief period of time childe had been wholly iced to the ground, awaiting your voice. You turned around to face him, silence, a long and grueling five seconds of unbroken staring when you in confusion, pucker your brows together, "what's with you?"

he was overcome by a flat sense of both irritation and surprise at how casual you sounded, "w— what?" childe didn't mean to stutter out his words like that, but his voice was still distressfully stricken.

"you seem sick." you note, directly holding your hand towards his face to keep it on top of his forehead, a flicker of concern eroding inwardly, childe winced at that and he bleeds into your touch, it was alleviating and he missed it, "no fever."

your apprehensive tone faded when you hastened to follow up your words, "i'm glad, because there's this thing i need your help with." you press yourself into his body, "it's a present for a family member." with your lips instantly split into a humane smile, you settled to tease him, ruffling his hair a bit.

childe thought this had to be some kind of metaphysical fantasy he had been trapped in the moment he entered your home, could he be hallucinating or did dottore really mix something into his orange juice earlier?

one of the first couple skills he had learned in the fatui was to always keep a clear head, yet right now he didn't have the time to even recompose himself nor did he realize that he‘s been standing in front of you without moving an inch— it‘s as if he was currently deciphering a difficult secret riddle in his mind and wholly forgot about your presence.

ultimately, you had caught up on the panic and the unintentional perpetual twitch in his eyes, "hey." a sigh of relief, so soft yet it brought him to tears, he felt your hand shelter his once more, the tone on his face grew a bit lower and delicate— a little more allayed.

without trying to conceal his worry now, childe responds clearly to you, "i thought i did something." he blurted out— barely, his throat was still clenched and a continuing dread thudded in his heart.

his eyes widened and a light bead of sweat formed just above his browbone. The thought that you might‘ve broken up with him vehemently churned and wrecked a deep havoc in his gut, it almost had him see white of terror.

you saw the glint of fear— the panic, and closed the distance of your bodies, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him close, "you didn‘t." the sound of your voice seized his heart and he breathed out a shaking heave.

"because you‘re perfect to me."

as an instinctive counter, his eyes squinted a little of a bigger smile and a shadow of boundless solace stamped in his veins. effectively, he can breathe easily now— be that as it may but for childe to purely envision a skid second without you by his side hurt him so much, if the control of his body hadn't been as well trained by him as it was, he'd tremble into your enfold.

"i‘m sorry." you patted his warm, rosy cheek with a kiss, "i didn't mean to make you feel this way." the tepidity of your eyes felt like the sun buzzing on a sweet summer day, "don't apologize." he stated and swallowed hard, returning your hug.

"i love you." he's leaning his face against your head and closed his eyes shut, "i love you too, ajax." a tear— just one, was then glissading down his cheek at your well spoken words, .

— gorou

"gorou, we need to talk, i finally made up my mind."

talk about what? the great weather on watasumi island?

meanwhile gorou nearly lost what little self restraint he had left in his soul— his right ear repeatedly twitching and serving as a bodily response. However, the way he had acknowledged the teeny tiny letter in his hand in the first place— with the disreputable words frumpily scrabbled on top of it with a black pencil, was largely concerning, he realized.

gorou didn't move for a couple seconds and remained by his own company— in silence, now his eyes grew a tone darker, because he was beginning to feel sick to his stomach, precisely the lower area, a stormy tornado of panic exuberantly nagging on the base of his spine.

what was it that he did because there must've been something he had to mess up if you're handling the situation in that precise way.

fundamentally speaking, (and that was the most irritating component in this whole situation) for you, to not say it out right away but rather have a hand written letter sent over to his office— it's ambiguous, everything turned out to be like a complete mess and he was a part of it.

to say he was both bewildered and crushed combined into one heavy ball of perplexing emotions was a restrained statement. Because truthfully, he was on the brink of a mental breakdown, his face was now hiding in his palms while he leaned further into the desk.

"it's over." he's talking under his own breathing, "that must be the case!"

if you have figured out one thing about your boyfriend— it was that he had a habit of talking to himself whenever he was pressurized by an crucial mission or something was simply bothering him.

he (himself) stated that it was an eminent way of analyzing his scattered thoughts and bring down all meaningless components should there be any at hand.

having said that, you would mentally applaud him because gorou was a genius, it was a great way— while not the one that would be of any need to him right now.

he decided to go all out and search for you— from his perspective, there wasn't any other way. Gorou had previously decoded that you must've been at your home by now, his work wasn't far off anyways so he could show up any time— yet unannounced but this was an emergency, he noted.

for gorou there wasn't anything more important than his relationship with you, it was a part he'd protect vigorously, yet if you were to dump him tonight, that's a different story because then he wouldn't know what to do nor how to retaliate.

considering that, he had been vastly comfortable with you to the point that he simply cannot envision a life without you by this side.

so, yes, maybe that's why he was so tense and anxious moving forward to your home. Little does he realize it wasn't quite how he had imagined it because truth was, gorou didn't do anything wrong.

you see, for a while now, you had been greatly pondering with the thought on your living situation, after all, you had been a couple for a long time and moving in together was the next designated step to be taken.

resultantly you had talked about this with gorou, yet only once and the timing wasn't the best either. If it was for him, he had long since forgotten it, in any other occasion he was a great listener and infallibly did his best to memorize whatever important topic you had to say to him.

but as an automatic result of the miscommunication taking place, gorou had visualized how he thought the conversation would end up, it being with you dumping him for good.

on the other side of the coin there was you, so very happy you could barely wait to tell him that you want to finally approach the next step and move in together.

the moment you let him into your home, you, as always, you greeted him with a kind hug which caught him completely off guard, obviously he wasn't expecting it. You knew your boyfriend very much, so when you saw him in the composition he was currently in, you almost gasped out loud by the terror.

his eyes were sunken and he seemed a bit pale, his ears too, were pointing downwards and that frown on him— together with his ragged breathing made you realize that something wasn't on their designated place. "hey." you approach him gently, "did something happen at work?"

his muscles stiffed and he thought about the words he had planned out to say, repeatedly they had thudded into his skull but nothing arose off his throat. You watched him closely and his gaze softened when you decided to hug him once more, this time with your lips ghosting over his ears, "it's okay, you're home now gorou."

"home?" granted, he couldn't place any fault on you for his own too quick thinking or his habits of jumping to conclusion when it came to this relationship, gorou wasn't the most experienced in that peculiar department after all. "our— our home?!"

"yes!" you're quick to show your happiness to him, your eyes glowing with brilliant shades of delight.

"that's what i wanted to talk about, i was busy preparing everything so Ii couldn't visit you in person." you fleetly pecked his cheek, "i hope it was okay to send a letter instead."

gorou was stunned— bewildered, he thought his ears fell off. "wait." he's taking both of your hands in his to make you stare at him, "this it what you wanted to talk about all along?" your brow ploddingly arose at his way of speech, because you were still very much clueless about it all.

"what did you think i was going to say?" at this rate, your conversation would never end anytime soon. gorou fidgetily scratched his neck before he chirped his words out in a blabbering draw no one but you was able to discern.

"oh nothing special, ijustthoughtyourebreakingupwithme." you were rendered speechless— lost of words and you placed a mental sticker in the deepest ends of your brain to get better at spelling things out more clear.

your eyes formed of sadness and you felt bad, trying to soothe your boyfriend in your own ways, "why would i?" you humorously squeezed his cheeks in a strive to delete his troubled expression, smiling in a loving kind, "i'd never do that, ever."

— alhaitham

beyond the shadow of a doubt, becoming the acting grand sage was an astonishingly tedious task for alhaitham to take— and he did not look forward to it.

unquestionably it was apparent that he wouldn't potentially have as much time for you as he previously had when he was the akademiya's renowned scribe. In spite of his new occupation, you undeniably had supported him throughout the first stages as much as you could.

but, lets say, you had felt a bit neglected lately— or to state said emotion in a contrasting light, you were in need of some much required attention from your boyfriend, plain and simple. Of course— and this usually goes without saying but it's not like alhaitham did it on purpose because, by all means, he didn't.

there wasn't anything he'd like to do as much as leisurely resting on his cozy bed with you by his side, cushily enclosed in your arms while you play with his hair and talking about all kinds of topics at hand.

with it becoming worse, it followed that he rarely had time to come over for dinner anymore, sure, you had your own duties to be taken care of but you missed him so so dearly and weren't sure how else to get him to move his unwavering attention from his work to your sweet frame again.

though your approach seemed a bit evil, you realized. but wasn't your creative thinking one of the reasons alhaitham had fallen in love with you in the first place?

to accurately get your plan in motion, you had sent an overly prettily framed letter to his new office— you added your favorite symbols to the paper and used your best-loved colors to have it cross your boyfriends keen eyes the second it would land on his desk.

under those circumstances you had impatiently began to wait at your place for him to get to you. And he did see your letter glowing in midst all the important papers on his desk, bedazzled by your most dearest decorations.

alhaitham slanted his head a bit to the left when he caught a glimpse of it eventually— he was a bit puzzled at first because whenever you did require his cooperation you'd just show up in person. But then again, in recent times he had his hands full of work and you arguably wouldn't even meet him to begin with.

his fingers gingerly opened the fine letter to scrutinize the words at hand, "we need to talk, it's about us."

he was taken aback, very, and caught off balance. He didn't view you as someone who'd send cryptic messages like that one in particular. Alhaitham distressfully rubbed his eyes and placed the letter on his desk above all the other workloads he had gotten delivered today.

upon that, he leaned into the broad armchair and careened his head back, closing his eyes. In that peculiar state he might potentially arrange and categorize his thoughts more coherent. The last thing he would've wanted now was to have your relationship suffer because of his current job.

first, it's dreary, second, it would throw him off completely.

while alhaitham had a dozen more work to finish before he could routinely head home, he decided to go to your place instead to talk it out. In his opinion, pushing back a much needed conversation would only elude his rational thinking skills by a huge mountain of precious time. it would've been obtuse for him to not handle this.

deep wrinkles were forming around his brows when he knocked on your door, his eyes fixated with worry but also irritation. On the flip side alhaitham was also concerned that something might've happened to you without him being aware of it.

another knock and you had lastly opened the door to your home, with a pseudo sad frown on your lips, maybe that was your ticket to great evilness because you did feel a bit wicked for tricking your poor, overworked boyfriend like that.

he doesn't say much, a dreadful silence of a couple minutes had surrounded the atmosphere and the inches in between your frames. A direct steady approach hadn't been found before he decided to speak at last, though heedful. "i saw your letter." he remarked through a clenched jaw.

"you did?" you slowly turned around and simulated to shuffle something out of a drawer in your kitchen— pretending to make a cup of tea for you both. "yes, i did." alhaitham might be many things, but he wasn't stupid, he knew something wasn't adding up, at all.

at first note, there was your body responses, despite your d class acting skills you were still showing emotions that weren't classified as sad nor angered. Second, it felt as if you didn't even know what to say, more thoroughly did you appear to just like him being here because why else were you settling a cup of tea and would you look at this, a few pastries he was sure were freshly bought.

"do you want me to applaud to you?" his voice was dry but despite that it harvested a glint of humor, "for this performance, i mean."

you bit down on the mushy insides of your cheeks before turning around, "i don't know what you're talking about." there you stood with an empty cup in your hand when he resoluted to walk towards you, haltering himself when he reached your body. "you wanted to talk." his hand finds your cheek and banteringly nudges it, "then talk."

you avert your gaze to recollect your thinking, because truthfully you did not expect him to catch onto it that fast— plus, you could also say you didn't think too far ahead into the future as on what to do once he's actually there.

"okay, okay." you dramatically throw your hands in the air, "i pretended to be mad so you'd show up." silence, "because i missed you." before you could hide the embarrassment with your hands alhaitham had swiftly bolstered one of his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest, "I know."

"can you blame me though?" you tried to explain yourself through your shy smiles which he had found so so very adorable, "you're never home." you lay your cheek against his warm chest to reply with a cuddle back and alhaitham sighed out when he beheld your distressfulness— how much he longed for his calm days to return.

"i know." he idly pawed his hand over your spine, "i can't wait to be the scribe again." you quietly shake with laugher at his words, the sides of your lips creasing up, "though i have to admit." you suddenly state while blinking up into his multi colored eyes, "saying my boyfriend is the grand sage doesn't sound that bad."

he's amusingly shook his head and found himself deeply connected in your arms— though being wary of the entire settling of today, alhaitham's sadness resigned back into him, he realizing that the last time he had held you just like this had have been a long time ago.

for this, he couldn't wait to get back to his usual, comfortable life with you again because no matter which position he'd take in the akademiya, he'd never want to place you second under it because it was you who truly gave new meaning to his life.

— scaramouche

working in the shadows had been something scaramouche was practicing his entire life, he‘s as fast-moving as the wind, a split second and he was gone, poof, unforeseen and brief.

substantially, you weren‘t quite sure what made you reach the conclusion to perpetually poke your finger into his hardiness, over and over— to sweetly aggravate him because it’s fun. especially when he had gotten back to you after a long, monotonous day full of his duties to fulfill.

on the assumption that nothing was wrong, kuni, as in any other circumstance, had saddled back into the couch with you next to him— actively observing how you’re casually paging through a couple letters in your hand.

"hey." in the pitch of his voice alone you were capable to discern the fatigue in his body— he must‘ve been especially hard working tonight.

"put the book away." undoubtedly, it was that time of the day again, scaramouche required your unwavering attention because if you aren't handing it over to him right this second, he'd become actually ballistic and sullen, waiting until you notice.

"hm." you do not say much, pretending to have something critical crossing your current state of mind, "what do you mean hm?" he's peeved by your behavior— despite that it piqued his interest.

you evidently weren't drained or disgruntled by his presence, at least he thought you weren't, "is this more important than i am?" scaramouche loftily pointed towards the book in your hand which you then, meteorically closed.

"there is something—" you do not dare to look into his permeating eyes, being panicky stricken you might blow your cover in front of him. Kuni had a way of heeding every so little change in both the articulation in your voice and face.

"there is something we need to talk about— about us."

scaramouche didn't buy it, not even once, you were too perceptible and easy to detect.

what was there to talk about when nothing happened, in the morning you seemed fine, you even gave him a goodbye kiss when he left for work. "really now?" he's sharpening his eyes on you, his chin held up high to throw you off the high in your conversation and most pivotally, to make you all jittery so you‘d eventually slip up.

"yes." you outstandingly flumped back into the velvety cushions of your couch, "we're just so different." - "no we're not." he was right there to cut you off, giving you no room to breathe while also slouching closer to your frame so you‘d look at him.

without beating around the bush, scaramouche decided to play this game with you, though in his eyes, he was way better at this than you could ever be, "but we are." now coming across at him through distinct eyes, you sealed your lips together so you wouldn‘t suddenly burst out laughing.

in a wink of an eye he had edged himself so near to you— with only being a mere couple inches away from banging your heads together, "are you playing games again?" he really wanted to know it now, fundamentally, scaramouche was captivated by this— he never loses and this side of yours would never bore him, not even once.

"maybe." you blurt out bluntly, affectionately wiggling the tip of your nose against his own, "you're a menace." he rolls his eyes and pulls away. with how swift you were to follow him, you put your legs over his lap so you‘d be dotingly enclosed into one another. "don't do that again."

sweet scaramouche— what he didn't show you was that he in actuality shared a concern in result of your behavior. All things considered he was aware you were kidding to rally him up. He thinks your skills were amateurish at best, whimsical, he hoped you were practicing your acting to once really catch him off guard.

"it's so fun though." you brusquely admitted to him with a candid smile while venturing to case your arms around his neck.

if only he wasn‘t so utterly compelled by you he‘d actually be mad for once, yet he only puffs out a warm heave, "i'll get you back for this."

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #childe x reader #scaramouche x reader #gorou x reader #al haitham x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin headcanons #genshin fanfic #scaramouche x you #childe x you #gorou x you #alhaitham x you #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin images #genshin impact wanderer #genshin impact fanfiction

[writerslittlelibrary]

How can I help you?

masterlist

summary: since you were small, your mom has always been able to help you feel better. fallen ice cream, scratched knee, your mom always knew the solution. but now? it almost seems that even your mother doesn’t know how to help you now…

pairing: Natasha x depressed daughter reader

warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts 

genre: angst, fluff

words: 1459

a/n: I’ve been in quite a weird period the past two weeks. my emotions have been weird and confusing, which is why I haven’t posted anything in a while. I apologise for not posting a lot, and I promise to get at least three small fics out this week :) 

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

You can’t really remember when it started. You were always fond of being in your room, yet at some point, being in your room wasn’t really your choice anymore. When you didn’t know who to blame, you simply blamed Covid. Ever since that virus came, your life has become confusing. 

Natasha would usually just blame it on your teenage years. You were going through puberty. Your body changed. Your mind changed. Everything changed. 

However, somewhere, deep down, you knew it wasn’t your age. 

You graduated last year, and because you weren’t sure what you wanted to study, you had decided to take a gap year. Natasha was incredibly supportive. She said she didn’t want you to choose anything because you felt like you had to, so you didn’t choose at all. 

The first few months of your gap year were amazing. You were enjoying all the free time you suddenly had, spending it with either gaming, reading, or watching your shows.

At some point, however, it started to become boring. 

You didn't want to go back to school. However, you also didn’t really want to stay at home anymore either. You didn’t know what you wanted.

Most days, you slept in until noon. Natasha would leave for work early in the mornings, and you would stay behind in bed. You only saw your mother when she came home late from work. You didn’t tell her about you sleeping in so late. Your mother has always followed a healthy lifestyle. Even on the days she was free she would wake up early.

She never shamed you for sleeping in. She never woke you up or told you you needed a better sleep schedule. However, still, for some reason, you felt ashamed. 

You didn’t tell her about your energy disappearing either. You didn't tell her you didn't have the energy to get out of bed anymore. You didn't tell her you lost the energy to eat. You never told her you lost the ability to take care of yourself. At one point, it just happened. 

You knew that if you ever told Natasha she would be worried sick. You knew she would do anything to make you feel better. She had done so since she adopted you.

When you were five you were in the park, and Natasha had gotten you ice cream. However, you were a little too excited, and after jumping once, your ice cream rolled off its cone. You stood there crying, while Natasha simply picked you up and assured you she would fix it. She kissed your tears away and got you another ice cream, in a little paper bowl this time. 

When you were 9, you were playing outside. You fell while your auntie Yelena was chasing you, and you scraped your knee. You clutched your leg and you wailed for your mama, and there she was. She picked you up and once again she kissed your tears away. She took you inside and gently cleaned your wounds. She allowed you to pick out a beautiful band-aid, and she gently placed it on your scratch, before kissing it better.

However, how could she possibly fix this? How could she place a band-aid on a wound she couldn't see?

You felt hopeless, and you felt as though the only way out would be to end it. You weren't very fond of the idea of ending your life. You didn't really want it to end, after all. You just wanted your current life to end. Your life was slow, and for some reason it felt as though you were merely floating around. 

At some point, you stopped existing. You stopped being you. You just became another dot on the map.

You weren't a person anymore. You were a thing existing in this world. You were existing, but you weren't significant. You didn't matter, so what difference would it make if you weren't there anymore at all?

Today was no different. Natasha had gone to work early, leaving you to sleep in. You were still in bed, even though it was already 4 pm. 

However, what you didn't know was that Natasha had been seeing something was wrong for a while. She knew you weren't yourself, and she knew you struggled taking care of yourself. Yet, for your entire life you've always wanted to do things yourself. You never wanted your mom to help you. And so, even now, she decided to give you time to figure things out for yourself. 

However, now she decided that time was up. You weren't getting any better, and Natasha was only growing more worried with the day. 

She had gone to work that morning, but at her job she told her boss that she was taking a few weeks off. Her daughter needed her, had been her truthful excuse, and her boss agreed. She went home around 4.30 pm, and when she entered the house she found out you were still in bed.

She walked towards your room and softly knocked on your door.

“Sweetheart? Are you there?” Natasha spoke as she opened the door, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness in your room. 

“Are you alright, honey?” Natasha asked as she walked into your room, closing the door behind her and sitting beside you on the bed. You barely acknowledged her presence, humming softly while you pulled your blankets up a bit, trying to shield your face from the light coming from the hallways.

Natasha let her hand gently stroke your hair, feeling the oily and knotted hair that rested on top of your head. 

“Are you okay?” Natasha then asked, and before you even had time to respond, you started crying.

Natasha didn't hesitate to pull you into a sitting position, pulling your body so it could lean upon hers. She allowed you to sob into her shoulder while she gently stroked you back, letting you know you were safe.

“I don't know why I feel this,” you sobbed out.

“It's alright, sweetheart, you don't have to know,” Natasha explained softly as she gave you a kiss on your hair. She held your head tightly to her chest, allowing her lips to rest upon your head.

“I don’t feel good, mama. I don't wanna be like this,” you sobbed out, and it didn't take long before Natasha realised what you truly meant by that. 

However, being the understanding mom she is, she didn't comment on it. She didn't suddenly sprung you with motivational quotes, telling you you have so much left to live for. She simply held you, sushing you as you cried and sniffled in her shoulder. 

“Can I help you?” Natasha softly asked after a few minutes, waiting for your confirmation. 

When you gave a small nod and let out another sob, Natasha lifted your body out of your bed, carrying you towards the bathroom and putting you down on the toilet cover. 

She turned the water on, allowing the bathtub to fill with hot water as steam filled the room. 

“I’m gonna grab some clean clothes alright? I'll be right back,” Natasha stated as she went back into your room, grabbing some clean clothes before returning to the bathroom. She set the clothes on the rack, helping you off the toilet seat and out of your clothes.

After you were settled in the bath, Natasha pulled out some shampoo, massaging it into your head before rinsing it out, repeating the process with the conditioner.

After your hair was clean, Natasha grabbed a comb, gently working on the knots and matted parts of your hair. After she finished, she washed your hair again, enjoying the feeling of the now silky soft hair in between her fingers. 

After finishing your hair, she helped you wash the rest of your body, before helping you out of the bathtub and drying you off. 

Natasha didn't allow you to walk yourself, instead lifting you up into her arms and carrying you down the stairs. Luckily she was crazy strong, so despite your age, she could still easily carry you as if you were merely a small child. 

After you were settled on the couch, Natasha went into the kitchen, preparing you a nice and healthy meal.

For the rest of the day, you simply sat on the couch, leaning on your mama while she gently stroked your back. It might have seemed lazy to the normal person, but for you, it was change. You weren't alone, for starters. There was daylight in the living room, and there was social interaction, even if little was being said. 

In the end, you realised, that despite the wound not being visible, your mama would always be able to stick a band-aid on it. 

Fic tags: @prentissluvrz @natsbiggestfan1

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @n0txn3vee @lorsstar1st

#black widow #marvel #natasha x reader #mcu #avengers #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader platonic #natasha x daughter #marvel reader insert #natasha romanov #natasha #natasha romanoff x teen reader #natasha romanoff x daughter #natasha romanoff x reader platonic #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #depressed reader #natasha x depressed reader #mama natasha

[starxanemone]

꩜ⴰ ࣪˖ THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS

tighnari x gender neutral!reader — oneshot. romance.

if you read between the lines, colors, and shapes of the petals, perhaps you might find meaning conveyed to you through the language of flowers.

— wherein you are a secret admirer of tighnari and you decide to send him flowers and along with equally-flowery words.

Rukkhadhava Mushrooms? Check.

Kalpalata Lotus? Check.

Padisara? Check.

Scarab fluid? Check.

“Do you find all of the necessary ingredients to be satisfactory enough?” An employee asks Tighnari as he counts the number of each ingredient separated into containers on top of the table.

“Yes, thank you very much.” He responds busily.

“I wish you the best in your endeavors. I will be off now.”

“Yes, thank you.” Tighnari nods his head as his pencil drags off carefully against the page of his little notebook, crossing small boxes listed between the grid lines. Work was constant and even more so now as he feels its amount in waves lately with the sudden new virus spreading around due to the withering zones. Fortunately, only a few were infected and it is not taking too much of a toll on his body—with him balancing the role of being a Forest Watcher and a sort of doctor on the side.

He sighs as he closes his notebook shut and sits down on the chair. He looks around him, wide dark emerald eyes admiring the abundance of greenery inside Pardis Dhyai and taking in the cluster of herbal and floral fragrances between each soft inhale.

He then glances at the clock.

3:29AM. Any minute now–

“Delivery for Tighnari!” A deep, gravelly voice enters the vicinity and Tighnari immediately stands up to respectfully bow to the delivery man.

“Ah, Arkan.” Tighnari greets the tall, burly man right in front of him politely. There is a bundle of purple hugged between Arkan’s arms and he eyes it promptly; expectantly; disposition still even despite the slight anticipating twitch of his ear. “I assume that is for me.”

“Ya got that right.” Arkan agrees gruffly, extending his arm out to hand him the bouquet of vibrant purple Forget-Me-Not flowers. “Your lover’s been quite consistent.”

“Perhaps ‘admirer’ would be a more suitable term. I still don’t know who they are.” Tighnari shakes his head before glancing down at the flowers now in his arms. Its petals are the shade of mustard yellow at the center, transitioning to vibrant purple as he eyes the petals down to its rounded tips. He wonders what is their motive behind all of this. How was he to fall for a person whose identity he had no slightest idea of? It was unreasonable to fall for a figment of his imagination—the mere idea built from expectations of who this person might be.

But still, he keeps the flowers close to him. It stays displayed inside his home, consistently being replaced every week upon each delivery. So far, he had received a total of four flower deliveries, all appearing to be freshly-picked and very healthy.

I’m keeping them because it would be a waste not to. Tighnari nodded to himself.

“Well, then, I’ll leave you to think about it by yourself.” Arkan dips his head slightly for a temporary farewell. He would be seeing Tighnarini again soon, no doubt.

“Alright. Thank you for the delivery, Arkan.”

Tighnari sits down once again, placing the wrapped bouquet on his lap, supporting it with one arm. He counts the flowers and the snowy Gypsophila surrounding each small bundle of Forget-Me-Nots. He brings it up to his face, breathing in the floral fragrance before noticing a small piece of rectangular paper pasted onto the wrapping. His fingers gently move the flowers to read the text.

“What if you forget to forget-me-not and we fade away?”

A new piece added onto the puzzle of the admirer’s hidden painting. Clever. Forget-Me-Nots. Tighnari thinks back to the previous pieces of paper he had received along with the bouquets of flowers. So far, the compilation of all the notes reads:

“You can open up to me; show me what’s inside. Mother nature made us to intertwine.”

“Lavender elixir so full of pheromones, give me one taste and you’re gone.”

“What if I can’t get you out of my thoughts? What if my seasons don’t change?”

And today, “What if you forget to forget me not and we fade away?”

The admirer seems troubled today, Tighnari thinks, humming to himself in deep thought. Perhaps they liked him more than he had initially expected. He expected to be receiving about only two to three deliveries of such things, but it’s turning out to be more of a consistent thing now. Looking forward to Monday’s every time the clock strikes thirty minutes after the hour of three in the afternoon has become a sort of habit.

But he wonders: When would this end? When would he get to meet the individual who has been going through the effort to send these on a weekly basis?

Perhaps he must do a little bit of investigating for himself.

The next week comes slowly as the virus dies down significantly with Tighnari providing the patients with treatment. It has provided time for him to give some thought onto the next course of actions he might take to look for the admirer, and perhaps, the best person to ask first is the person consistently delivering the flowers.

Arkan comes marching to the front of Tighnari’s house at exactly 3:30PM, and he’s there to receive him just in time.

“Arkan, I have a question.” Tighnari began as he accepted the bouquet. Today’s flowers were a fresh bundle white Tropical Morning Glories wrapped in black paper. He fishes for the note stuck onto the wrapping paper behind the flowers and silently reads it.

“You’re my little flower blooming in the night.”

Blooming in the night... Morning Glories were also known as Moonflowers.

He purses his lip in thought as his ear unconsciously twitches. He scratches the back of his neck. Why are my ears warm? Perhaps it is hotter today than usual.

“What is it?”

He looks up from the bouquet and eyes Arkan curiously. “By any chance, do you know who’s sending these flowers?”

Arkan lets out a loud guffaw at his question, pressing his hands onto his abdomen. “I thought you’d never ask."

“It’s just that I was too busy to be pondering about that previously with the virus and all.” Tighnari places the flowers onto the ledge of his porch before crossing his arms. “So? Will you tell me who they might be?”

“No can do.” Arkan shakes his head.

He sighs. “As I suspected. Looking for them is not going to be as easy as that.”

“How ‘bout I give ya a hint?” Arkan places his hands on his hips, grinning down at him widely. “You know them.”

Tighnari squints his eyes.

He knows them.

He browses his memories for the list of people that he knew but it was turning out to be rather difficult when he was practically familiar with more than half of Gandharva Ville and many from Sumeru City. It cannot possibly be Collei; she is much too young and she has been quite close with a boy her age lately that lived near their home. Cyno was way too subpar with his linguistic skills to be able to construct mellifluous words such as these, and it is apparent with his dry jokes, thus it is unlikely to be him. Paimon and the Traveler on the other hand had long left the vicinity of Sumeru. And Alhaitham… Well, he’s Alhaitham. Could it be Kaveh?

“Do they live closeby?” Tighnari asks after a few moments of thinking.

“They live in a sort of paradise. Sort of like a garden, if you will. That’s all I gotta say.” Arkan laughs before saluting to him. “Welp, I’ll leave ya to it.”

So it’s not Kaveh, then. Thank goodness. Tighnari breathes out a sigh of relief before taking the flowers from the ledge once again. He must quickly put them in a vase.

Another week comes and Tighnari is finished trekking through the forest with Cyno after dealing with one of the few remaining Withering Zones left.

“So you have been receiving a bouquet of flowers every week.” Cyno summarizes after Tighnari explains the entirety of the situation. “I see.”

“Yes, so if it is not any trouble and if you aren’t busy with work, would you mind helping me investigate this matter?” Tighnari tilts his head, waiting for his friend’s response.

“I’m afraid that I must refuse.” Cyno answers, quickly pulling his eyes away to look up at the nearby trees.

“Hm? And why is that?” Tighnari crosses his arms. “You are looking suspicious right now, my friend. Don’t tell me that you’re actually the secret admirer?”

Cyno sends him an offended look, or at least, as offended as his typically-stoic face could look. “Do I appear to be the type who writes poetry? I must say that my jokes are quite great, but poetry on the other hand?”

“Yes, it is exactly as I thought. Except for the jokes part.” Tighnari nods, ignoring the second wave of offended expression that paints his friend’s face. “But why were you acting suspicious just now? Perhaps… you know who they are. You know who has been sending the flowers to me.”

Cyno shakes his head. “It’s not that I knew. I only figured it out when you told me about the flowers just now.”

“How?”

“Easy. I suggested the flowers, or rather, I told them you liked plants, and maybe, flowers.” Cyno explains before suddenly looking thoughtful. “But now that I think about it. The notes do sound like something they would do.” He hums thoughtfully. "Hm... they even went all the way to Sumeru City to ask about something like that."

“Well? Are you not going to tell me who it is?”

“No.”

Tighnari sighs, rubbing his face in annoyance. This was becoming more frustrating with the way Arkan and Cyno were being so secretive.

Cyno pats his shoulder comfortingly. “You will find out who they are soon.”

“Why? Will they reveal themselves?”

“I do not know. But upon meeting them, it is only time before they slip up. They’re not as patient as you believe they are.”

“Yes, maybe…”

Tighnari receives three stems of Tulips today, tied together with a thin white ribbon that also holds a piece of paper along with it. His eyes squinted a little upon realizing that the texts today were a bit longer, and the handwriting was a bit messier.

Hm… Tulips…

“All I see are Tulips (you) and

I’m a hummingbird;

Heavenly ambrosia in every curve.

Honey dripping over my imagination;

The fragrance keeps flowing straight

down to my soul.”

He doesn’t hold back the warmth that spreads across his light-skinned cheeks and tips of his ears—or rather, he couldn’t. Whoever was writing him these notes and sending these flowers seemed to know just the precise words to make a person’s heart quiver. That, or this was simply born from the inexplicable feeling of adoration; one that Tighnari himself still doesn’t understand.

Perhaps, you would care to show him—to make him understand where all of these saccharine poems flow from inside you and onto paper.

He flips the paper around and is surprised to see an added note.

“I heard you were looking for me. Why don’t you come and find me, then?” He looks down further at the bottom of the page. “Here’s a hint: I live in paradise.”

Paradise? Tighnari squints rubs his chin at the familiar word. Where and when could he have last heard it?

Paradise… Ah! His eyes widen as he remembers his conversation with Arkan about two or three weeks before.

“They live in a sort of paradise. Sort of like a garden, if you will. That’s all I gotta say.” Arkan laughs before saluting to him. “Welp, I’ll leave ya to it.”

Paradise… Paradise— Pardis? Pardis Dhyai? If his suspicions were correct then… then the admirer was much closer than he had initially suspected. He had assumed that they lived in Sumeru City due to the weekly access to new and foreign flowers being delivered there frequently. This had caused him to forget about Pardis Dhyai completely—the actual grounds for producing an array of different plants and flowers.

He set the flowers into a vase filled with water and began preparing to clean up his things. Turns out that he had a trip to make towards Pardis Dhyai outside of work hours.

Tighnari arrives at the vicinity as the Sun had already set, leaving the shrounds of orange to be submerged underneath the dark blues littered with specs of white. Strange to him as it may be, but his heart is racing fast against his ribs as he takes rapid steps to enter the greenhouse. Perhaps it may be from all the running, or maybe it was the nerves swallowing his being, but one thing is for sure and that is the fact that his curiosity and the need to understand cannot deter him from finding out the one behind all these things.

He enters the greenhouse and the silence engulfs his ears aside from the crickets resounding from the distance. He steps forward, moving to the area where the flowers were born side by side, and there, he sees someone standing there, tending to the plants at this hour.

“You’re my little flower

Blooming in the night…”

His eyes widen as hears them sing softly as they hold the watering can over the vibrant leaves and petals.

“Only for an hour,

The northern lights.

My Casablanca sweetheart,

Nectar so divine.

Baby, you’re the best part

Of my life.”

“So it is you.” Tighnari’s voice cuts through the pause of their singing. He sees their shoulders jolt a little in surprise before they turn around slowly, sheepishly. It was you, the employee in Pardis Dhyai who guided him throughout each time he collected ingredients for new medicine.

“So you have found me.” Your smile is relaxed as you take a step towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shivers at the contact but doesn’t move away, causing you to chuckle. “Shall we have a chat?”

“W-What makes you say that I have the time? I could be here for some herbs.” He blurts out, a little out of character from his typical self.

You chuckle at his nervousness. “Well? What can I do to convince you to stay?”

#SoundCloud #genshin #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #fanfiction #genshin fanfiction #sumeru #genshin cyno #tighnari fluff #gender neutral reader #genshin x gender neutral reader

[karoochui]

Okay. So I recently found your blog and been obsessing over the sandman au but like. You mentioned things about reincarnation and how y/b died and like. If sand sun and boogie moon remember everything after the fire, do they know what happened to y/n? And don’t they realize that y/n is gonna die again? After all, I’m assuming that y/n is just a human and sun and moon are like. Kinda gods of dreams? Falling in love for a second time with a person you kinda know is gonna die eventually must be scary

Oh okay well firstly! They aren't gods or anything like that, theyre just them with the magic to boot. All the changes in the world were brought upon by a virus outbreak that i call the AP virus (as reference to it as a fourth wall viewer, not as in what it's called in the story) that killed off most living things by rotting them from the inside-out. After the events of Binary Resurgence this virus causes an apocalypse that's basically the start of everything being re-evolutionized and magic resurfacing. Everything is affected and some species stay the same (like some humans) and some don't. This all happens within like ~2000 years after the plex burns down. It's inspired by adventure time if that helps give you a better idea.

Magic is a pre-exisiting thing that's been subdued by polution (its part of the earth, pollution kills the Earth blah blah blah) and also ignorance/neglect of practice. Like ive said before this story will have a sequel which is where all the magic happens (lol) and it's only really touched upon/used as a foreshadowing element in the first story.

Also sun and moon aren't quite literally the sandman and boogie man, sun wasnt even inspired by either. I actually just mashed the two concepts together for moon's design and skills. Sun is more-so based on a grave-digger,western cowboy kinda look with a witchy touch. And yes! They do know what happened to y/n, they remember everything. They had to LIVE through the apocalypse after y/n's death and then live through the world changing all over again. They actually do "die" (their battery goes kaput) for a hot second but magic doesn't let many things rest in the means of evolution and their body is revitalized.

And yeah meeting y/n again after all of that is fucking horrifying for them but it's also a blessing. Its a plot point actually, because over the years Sun hasnt become evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut lmao. He has been through Some Shit and is absolutely deranged and not always in the best way. His behavior and actions eventually cause some arguments and stuff. The sequel is gonna be more of a feel-good story though, to make up for the terrible way the first one is gonna end.

Yeah y/n is gonna eventually die again (not that i plan to write that but humans aren't immortal) but it isnt so much about that as it is about "things will go right this time". The first story was very much a "right person, wrong time" kinda thing. I wouldn't say it's slice of life, because i don't really like that genre by itself, but it has elements.

Basically i really liked the concept for the first story but i hate bad endings so i made a sequel to fix everything. Also i hope that answered your questions! If not then don't be shy about asking some more.

#my asks #binary resurgence: round 2 au #binary resurgence

[emetoandotherthings]

The Teachers' Curse

A/N: Honestly this is the first thing I've written in so so so long.. I don't really even know where it came from but 🤷‍♀️ Also apologies cause there's a lot of build up, but suck it if you don't like it. Just cause they're so wonderful I'm dedicating this to @lickstynine and @its-a-goddamn-heartbreak

______________________________________________________________

         The teachers’ curse. That’s what they’d all joked about in uni. The last week of term and the first week of the holidays – rule them out because with everything that needed done, you’d be exhausted and every bug, virus and eager bacteria comes after you. Jude had laughed about it with all the rest, until his probationary year began.

         After 8 weeks, October had brought a tired, run down feeling; December heralded a cold – but then, who didn’t get a cold in December? Jude was beginning to think that it was a whole load of rubbish, until he had to content with a 13 week term, coinciding with a pedagogical enquiry and a final profile to prove that he was actually good enough to be a teacher.

         With only 7 school days to go until the Easter holidays, Jude woke up with conjunctivitis – all scratchy and inflamed. He’d ended up with drops that Eden almost had to pin him down to put in, and forced to wear his glasses for the entire week.

         With 5 days left, a throbbing incessant pain in his ear had made itself known as his class worked with the percussion music specialist. The rest of the day, he’d felt like someone was trying to sharpen a pencil inside his ear canal. By 3pm, the glands in his neck had blown up and swallowing was a challenge. Eden had dragged him to the emergency out of hours doctor and the result was a 3 day course of antibiotics. Jude tried to laugh it off as just one of those things, but secretly he wondered whether it was the teacher’s curse creeping up on him. At least he’d be finished the antibiotics by Friday and would be able to have a drink in the evening when the holidays arrived.

         The thrumming had faded to a stop over the next few days, along with the sandpaper scratch in his throat and the only thing that lingered was a tiredness that made it almost impossible to drag himself out of bed on Friday morning.

         “Last day!” Eden’s voice was far too cheery for so early in the morning.

         “Thank the Lord…” Jude sighed, rubbing both hands over his face as he placed both feet firmly on the carpet. Eden was packing books the size of paving slabs into his backpack.

         “I’m in lab today,” he explained, as Jude dragged a shirt over his shoulders. “I’ll try to be back for you getting home – first evening of the holidays!”

         “I am very much looking forward to being back in bed…” It was just 6 hours – then he’d be done, he’d have some downtime. It’s not that he didn’t love teaching – he did! He loved the kids, hearing their stories, seeing their learning click into place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle… but anyone who claimed working with children was easy definitely hadn’t spent time with 30 at once.

         Last days were a grand waste of time. For start, nearly one quarter of his class were absent; the rest were as mad as a box of frogs – unable to settle to anything for longer than five minutes. Jude was only glad that it stayed dry so the afternoon was filled with spare part outdoor learning; an activity which required supervision, but not a great deal of teaching or attention. He was only too pleased when the bell to end the day rang, and he could wave goodbye to his learned for the next two weeks. Jude had sat at his desk for nearly 10 whole minutes just willing himself to move before he geared himself up to go home.

         He was determined to only make one trip from his car to the flat, so he clambered up the stairs with three bags trying to pull his arms from his sockets. He was struggling to get the keys from his pocket when the front door swung open from the inside.

         “Jude!” Eden looked scandalised at the number of bags his boyfriend was carrying; he swooped forwards and grabbed some of them.

         “Eden…” He hadn’t expected him to be home. “I thought you’d still be in labs.”

         “It’s your first evening of the holidays!” Eden strained under the weight of the tote bags. “I wanted to spend some time with you.”

         “I’m not sure I’ll be that great company,” Jude answered, dumping the last of his bags into their hallway.

         “Oh shush,” Eden said, disappearing into their kitchen. “I was more thinking…” His voice continued from the kitchen and he re-appeared at the doorframe, two beers clutched in his hand. “A drink, a takeaway and some Netflix… No lesson plans, no profile – just relaxing.” Eden was holding out the bottle of beer, a quarter of lime squeezed into its neck.

         “Sometimes you’re the most beautiful thing on the planet,” Jude couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face, accepting the beer bottle.

         “Only sometimes?” Eden’s eyebrows disappeared up under his fringe.

         “Always,” Jude sighed. “Sorry…” Eden grabbed Jude’s free hand and dragged him into the living room; he’d brought several blankets and pillows into the room. “Oh, Eden…”

         “I thought we could make a bit of a nest,” Eden suggested, “food, drinks, not having to move…”

         “What did I do to deserve you?” Jude mused as Eden pulled him to the sofa, noticing that Eden’s cheeks had flushed pink. “Thank you.”

         Jude had barely drunk half of his beer before he dozed off, his head lolling backwards against the sofa and the beer bottle tipping forward precariously. Eden gently extricated it from Jude’s hands and let him sleep – he needed it.

         Jude’s head was heavy as he woke up, he felt sluggish and groggy; he opened his eyes and stretched. Eden was curled next to him, a book in his lap.

         “Sorry,” he muttered, rubbing his hands across his face. “How long have I been asleep?”

         “About an hour and a half,” he put his book on the arm of the sofa and stretched his arm around Jude’s shoulder. Jude loved how well he fit into the crook of Eden’s shoulder. “I ordered food, it’ll be here soon.”

         “You’re an angel,” Jude said; he was so tired he didn’t feel like eating, but he would – if only to make Eden happy. He grabbed his beer from the table and took a swig, it didn’t taste as good lukewarm, but that was his fault for falling asleep.

         “Food’s here,” Eden announced, his phone buzzing to let him know the delivery driver was at the door. “Do you want another beer?”

         “Why not?” Jude shrugged, he felt bad – Eden was doing so much for him, yet he couldn’t help but feel the only thing he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He tried to waken himself up a bit, sitting up straighter and stretching his arms above his head.

         “Here you go,” Eden reappeared, carrying some pizza boxes and more beers. He set down one of the boxes in Jude’s lap before settling beside him.

         “Aaw, you even got pineapple on mine!” Jude smiled as he opened the lid of his box.

         “I thought I could allow for your transgression just this once,” Eden opened his own pizza. “I’m starving, I don’t know what it is about labs that always makes me so hungry.” He pulled a slice of his pizza up and devoured it hungrily. “Oh, and I’ve got cookie dough for afters.”

         “You’re amazing,” Jude grinned, though even the muscles of his cheeks felt tired.

         “Come on,” Eden nodded towards Jude’s pizza. “Tuck in.”

         Jude managed three quarters of his pizza before he felt the strain of his waistband against his stomach. He wanted more, it tasted so good and he felt more awake than he had since he got home. He swigged more of his beer as he rested the pizza box on the table and leaned back into the pillows and blankets surrounding it.

         “Man, I’ve got a food baby,” he rubbed his hand over his stomach.

         “Me too,” Eden replied. He’d finished all of his own pizza and had curled his arm around Jude’s shoulder again.

         “Shut up!” Jude joked, scanning up and down Eden’s slim frame. “I don’t know where you put it!”

         “I dunno,” Eden shrugged, “perks of having a fast metabolism.”

         “If only!”

         “You’re perfect just as you are,” Eden said; and then they were kissing. It was warm and soft, and Jude loved the way they fit together, as though they’d been made that way. When they split, Jude stayed closed to Eden, he felt like home. “Right,” Eden spoke after a while, “let’s put something on to watch, you choose.” He handed across the remote.

         “Anything?” Jude asked.

         “Anything you want,” Eden smiled.

         Jude’s eyes were drooping, even though he was the one who’d chosen the drama they were both watching. He’d finished off his beer but now his mouth was feeling oddly dry; his waistband was still digging into his stomach and that discomfort was beginning to radiate deeper than his skin. He could get up and change, but that felt like too much of an effort.

         Yet as the time ticked by, and the first episode turned into the second, Jude’s attention was even less on the tv and much more on how the discomfort from his waistband had turned into a weird bubbly ache in the pit of his belly. It felt rather like the time he’d gone sailing and despite the calm water his insides had been sloshing around with every moment. A cold, goosebump sensation kept cropping up on his exposed arms. He tried to shuffle himself on the sofa, wanting to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, but the movement only served to make him feel worse. He slid the empty beer bottle in between the arm of the sofa and cushion and rested his now free hand onto his belly. It felt soft underneath his hand, but he could still feel the bugle of his full stomach. He took a few deep breaths and tried to surreptitiously move the waistband of his trousers, hoping that would give him some relief.

         It didn’t. In fact, it got worse. From the slightly sloshy, swishy feeling, it progressed into a more churning sensation – like his stomach had been set to spin cycle. He slowly tried to massage his fingers into his flesh, but the ache gurgled and deepened. Jude thought he’d done a good job of hiding it, until Eden raised his eyebrows and fixed him with a strange look.

         “Are you okay?” He asked, his hand straying towards the remote.

         “Yeah, yeah,” Jude lied, but with one look he could tell Eden knew he was lying. “I dunno, I guess, I feel a bit… queasy.” Almost as soon as he said it, his stomach burbled under his hand. “I’m probably just tired.” He wanted to pass it off as nothing, but the discomfort was growing with every passing second. Eden grabbed the remote and paused the tv, he sat up straighter and seemed to survey Jude. Then he stretched out his hand and pressed it against Jude’s forehead.

         “You don’t feel warm,” he said quietly, frowning slightly. “Hang on…” Eden hoisted himself from the sofa and padded across to the main light; Jude blinked as the light turned on. “You’re a bit pale,” he commented, “maybe we should have an early night?”

         “You wouldn’t mind?” Jude asked quickly. “It’s just, you’ve gone to such an effort…”

         “Jude, if bed is where you need to be, then I’m happy to be there with you,” Eden answered, sounding so genuine that Jude could have cried. “And we can have cookie dough for breakfast.”

         “Thank you,” he said, sighing.

         “Come on then,” Eden crossed to the tv and switched it off, before turning off the lamps one by one. Jude shuffled forwards to the edge of the sofa, but as he moved a rush of heat swept across his body and his stomach twisted in such an uncomfortable manner that he froze where he was perched. He took deep steadying breaths, not liking the sudden shift. “Jude?”

         “H-ulp!” The hiccup burst from his lips before he could stop it, and he couldn’t stop the groan that followed or the way his hand had gone to his stomach.

         “Jude?” There was a sense of urgency in Eden’s voice now; he’d crossed the room in a few strides and was kneeling to the side of him, his hand resting on Jude’s knee. “Jude?”

         “Oh god…” Jude groaned. “I don’t feel well Ede…”

         “What’s wrong? Tell me,” Eden’s voice was a comfort, but the spin cycle in his belly seemed to have reached terminal velocity.

         “My – my stomach,” Jude muttered, trying hard not to open his mouth too wide.

         “D’you feel sick?” Eden asked. “Shall I get a bucket?” Jude squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling and exhaling through his nose.

         “Mmmn, no,” Jude shook his head slightly. “Jus’ give me a minute, I’ll be fine.” But nothing felt further from the truth, the sweeps of cold and hot alternating with rapidity.

         “Are you sure?” Eden didn’t sound sure at all, but he squeezed Jude’s knee gently. Jude didn’t reply, he was far too busy willing his stomach to stop clenching in such a disconcerting way. He didn’t know how long he’d spent just trying to breathe, until he felt hot liquid creeping up the back of his throat – and at that point, he felt the inevitability of it.

         “’m gonna throw up,” he managed to force the words out.

         “Right, I’m getting a bucket,” Eden said firmly.

         “No – no,” Jude reached his hand and grabbed Eden’s to stop him moving. “Help me – to the toilet…”

         “Jude, it’d be easier…” Eden refuted, but Jude was already pushing himself up, his free hand cradling his belly. “Okay,” Eden grabbed Jude’s arm to support him, as his legs had the same quality as a newly born foal.

         “Oh god,” Jude slurred, the movement had made everything ten times worse. His stomach contracted and he felt the rush of liquid barrelling up his throat. He slapped his hand to his mouth, hoping to prevent what he knew was coming. “Hmmmllk!” The heave was so strong that Jude lurched forwards.

         “Jude!” Eden’s tone was anxious as he began to pull Jude more forcefully. Jude’s head was swimming, all he could focus on was keeping the contents of his stomach down.

         “Hmmrrk!” The next heave was stronger, and Jude felt liquid hit the back of his teeth, his cheeks puffing out dramatically. He fought to swallow, they were nearly at the bathroom – he had to make it. Jude felt his chest tighten and his stomach squeezing more powerfully, he tried to force his feet to move faster but his legs had lost the ability to be useful in movement.

         “H’kkrrrk!” Jude had no power over his own body anymore, it was doing what it needed to do. His legs had crumbled under the weight, Eden’s hand had released as he fell and he scrambled forwards, but not quickly enough.

         “H’kkkkrrrgggllll’uuuuurrrrggglll!” A spray of warm, bitter liquid burst from Jude’s lips, coating the toilet seat and splashing onto the floor. He had to ignore it, pulling himself closer to the toilet bowl, disregarding that he was kneeling in his own vomit. He’d barely had a second, hardly enough time to draw breath, before his stomach contracted again. “B’hhhrrkk-luuurrrk!”  It came with such force that the puke hit the back of the toilet seat and sent splashes back into Jude’s face.

         “Oh Jude,” Eden’s voice came back into focus, Jude hadn’t realised that all he had heard previous was the rebellion of his own body.

         “Urgh,” Jude groaned, learning forwards to his hands pressed on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. He could still feel his stomach contracting, gearing up for the next assault. “S-sorry…” He choked, his voice thin.

         “Jude, don’t be silly,” Eden brushed Jude’s hair away from his eyes, then placed his hand in between Jude’s shoulder blades. This simple action seemed to signal the start of the next round.

         “Hrrrr’uuuullllkrrrrggggll!” A wave of thick, bitter liquid forced up his throat and flowed forcefully into the toilet bowl. He could taste the hops of the beer and the tang of the pineapple, and this made him retch harder.

         “Oh Jude,” Eden rubbed Jude’s back firmly, feeling the muscles tense under his touch. “You should have said you were feeling this bad.”

         “Wasn’t-“ Jude choked, spitting in order to try and rid his mouth of the taste. “Hit me all at – hrrk – once!”

         “Here,” Eden retrieved a cloth and ran it under the tap, before kneeling down next to Jude and wiping gently at his face. It was something so simple, but it nearly brought tears to Jude’s eyes. “It’s okay,” Eden’s words were soothing, “it’ll be alright…”

         “Feel – hrrk – awful…” Jude spit the saliva pooling in his mouth out, but that gave way to another heave that brought up a further wave of sick.

         “You’ll feel better when it’s out,” Eden reassured him, rubbing his back again.

         “Urrghh…” Jude groaned, his knees were beginning to protest being pressed against the cold tile floor; he tried to re-adjust himself, kneeling back and straightening up. His body didn’t like this, sending more sick charging up his throat and splashing into the water of the toilet bowl. “Pineapple doesn’t – hllk – taste as good on its way up…”

         “Glad to see you’ve not lost your sense of humour,” Eden quipped dryly.

         “Not the only thing I’ve lost,” he muttered. He was hoping this was a lull; his stomach wasn’t straining and contracting now, all he could feel was a slow churn in his gut.

         “You feeling better?” Eden knelt down beside him, brushing a hair away from his face. “You’re not as ghostly pale anymore.”

         “Think – for a bit…” Jude answered, he put his hand gently to his stomach – it didn’t feel quite as tender as before. “Not sure I’m completely – finished…” The last word hung slowly in the air.

         “But just now?” Eden asked and Jude gave a tiny nod. “Right, for now, let’s get you cleaned up and into bed.”

         “But –“ Jude started, but Eden cut him off.

         “I’ll get a bucket, put it next to the bed,” Eden’s words were so self-assured that Jude had to listen to him. “We’ll get you in something comfy and tucked up so you can rest.”

         “Okay,” Jude agreed, there was no point in arguing with a determined Eden.

         “For some reason, I don’t think we’ll be having cookie dough for breakfast,” Eden chuckled.

         The mention of food made Jude heave dryly again; he gulped down some air and shook his head: “No, I think not…”

#my writing #emeto tw #emeto #fics #ocs #Eden #Jude #puking #illness #sickfic #sickness #vomiting #puke #fiction #cw puke #queasy #emeto fiction #emetophilia #original character fiction

[wazzappp]

Retroviruses got me fucked up

@moosemonstrous are u ready for a dissertation? I hope so.

people who followed me for art I'm so sorry

ALRIGHT so we're gonna cover a couple areas.

General information about retroviruses.

Details about The Corruption and theories about how it works inside the body.

SPECIFICALLY ROBBIES viral weird shit. Cause what he has going on is even more fucked up than normal fucked up. Fucked up squared.

Me ranting about skin necrosis and why I shouldn't have just. Thown it in there because I thought it would look fucky wucky.

GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT RETROVIRUSES:

As most people know, a virus is a cell that enters the body of a host and alters its DNA to turn that hosts cells into virus making factories. This is what allows viruses to duplicate and spread through the body so quickly. But whats that? 'What makes retroviruses different from other viruses?' I hear you asking? WELL EXCELLENT QUESTION THATS A PERFECT PLACE TO START. A retrovirus is different because its method of self duplication involves an enzyme called reverse transcriptase. This makes retroviral infection PERMANENT. Even if the virus is defeated by the immune system, those changes stick around. The phrasing used was 'ipso facto mutagenic' meaning 'by the fact itself/inevitable'.

...Which is kinda metal honestly I want it on a tee shirt (definetly not thinking of Amadeus saying that to Robbie as he tries his best to explain theres no way to undo whats going on with him. nahhhh angst don't got a hold on me like that [<- vibrating])

'Ohhh but if those genetic changes never go away, doesn't that mean that those viruses will get passed on through peoples children?' ASKING SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS TODAY MY MUTUAL BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS YES. Once a retrovirus codes itself into a hosts gnome, its called a provirus (pro gamer move right there) Fun (not fun) fact around 8% of the human gnome is made of proviruses. These are called endogenous viruses, and for the most part they just kinda sit there and stay dormant. TERRIFYINGLY, other viral infections can trigger these endogenous viruses out of dormancy. As for what actually causes a provirus to go dormant uhhhhhhhh I dunno. Couldn't find an answer in my research someone make me look stupid with an answer please because I wanna know.

Ok now lets talk about the immune system a little bit. There are a few different kind of cells at work (hehehehehe) that help to fight viruses and other infections in the body. The first are Cytotoxic T cells or Killer T Cells. These are the cells that directly destroy cells displaying genetic patterns they recognize as bad. Next we have CD+4 Cells (Helper T Cells) which act as a library that stores information about how to identify an infected cell, and shares that information with other Killer T cells once one figures it out. Then there are the Regulatory T cells which suppress your immune responses to maintain homeostasis. They're what (USUALLY) stops your immune system from killing you while trying to clear a virus. Last there are Macrophage. CELLS AT WORK MAID MILFS- I mean cells that clear the debris that remain after the Killer T Cells are done destroying them.

Retroviruses have two primary ways of either side-stepping the immune system or just. Overwhelming it completely. Acutely transforming retroviruses do just that. They reproduce too quickly for Killer T cells to destroy them all and exhaust the system. The second type are called Non Acute Retroviruses. They camouflage viral particles as immune cells to suppress the immune system. For example, HLTV-1 is a retrovirus that disguises itself as a Regulatory T cell to artificially suppress the immune response thats trying to kill it.

HTLV-1 is really interesting because most of the time patients are asymptomatic, but 5% can graduate to HTLV-1 associated myelopathy/tropical spastic paraparesis, which affects the spinal cord and white matter of the central nervous system. This usually results in the weakening of lower extremities and sometimes total bowl/bladder control loss. It suckkssssss (but is also a retrovirus that affects the central nervous system so were circling back to it later 👀).

SPECULATION ABOUT THE CORRUPTION:

I've said previously that The Corruption has potential for a retrovirus that affects the central nervous system by degrading the brains ability to regulate muscular contraction, while also pumping out a ton of cortisol and adrenaline to encourage 'hysterical strength'.

Now I did a little more research about Hypoglycemia and combined with the nerve damage people would likely die from cardiac arrhythmia, which is a life threatening kind of ventricular fibrillation. Long and short, it means their hearts don't have the proper energy and stimulation to keep beating properly, so they stop beating in sync. This results in insufficient blood flow to vital areas like the brain, and combined with the inadequate blood sugar, this would result in very fast brain death.

Let's talk about the immune systems response to this Corruption retrovirus. We would most likely see lots of inflammation, and with the main focus being on nerve cell this would probably result in meningitis, which is inflammation of the tissue surrounding the brain and spinal cord. If left untreated this could result in a coma and then death. So we're seeing a SHIT ton of pressure on the brain and central nervous system. Which is like. VERY BAD for a person. We're talking brain death very very fast.

As for how the virus would target the nervous system directly we could look to real world examples like rabies (ahhhh rabies. can never get away from you). The virus would attach to nicotinic acetylcholine receptors, which are what turns chemical signals into electrical signals in your nerves. It would then spread through the axons of the central nervous system and eventually reach the brain. We could also pull a rabies with 'once you see symptoms it's too late' which I, personally, find fucking terrifying.

In terms of the virus losing its effectiveness once outside the body of a Demon/Kaiju we would likely need to look at the anatomy of a retrovirus itself. The outermost area is composed of envelope spikes, which tell the cell to let it in. After that is an envelope protein which plays an important role in complete virus particle (virion) assembly. Theres then a protein shell that contains reverse transcriptase and the RNA gnome that it will use to recode a host cell. If this virus evolved to survive in an environment that is always warm (hell. lol. lmao.) it might not be prepared to deal with these colder temperatures in our world. This could result in damage to the protective protein barriers and cause damage to the real important parts, the RNA and reverse transcriptase. This would mean that the virus would not be near as effective as a fully intact retrovirus cell.

The Corruption could be an endogenous virus thats embedded into the Demon/Kaiju gnome that wouldn't affect them, but would absolutely affect us because we haven't seen them before.

ROBBIES WEIRD FUCKSHIT:

alright guys this is where we put the FI into SCIFI cause your about to read a whole lot of nonsense sentences.

Robbie. Robbie is fucking WEIRD in EVERY universe and this shit is absolutely not different. Him being exposed to that previously mentioned damaged version of the virus from a young age might not give him true immunity but it would give him SOMETHING to work with. His immune system is at least slightly familiar with it and at this point whatever damaged version he came into contact with has already established itself as a provirus in him.

The Corruption thats established itself in The Charger is different.

Like I mentioned in my first diagram, I think there was a chemical reaction that stabilized the corrosive aspect of The Corruption, but this reaction would also have had an effect on the retroviral properties of the Demon/Kaiju material. ESPECIALLY when we add Eli into the mix.

Now, I think generally the amount of radiation that these viruses would be exposed to would kill them (if you believe viruses are alive. there is some MEGA debate going on about that). But if the corruption was just stabilized/hardened on the outside and left squishy and organic on the inside, that would successfully protect everything. And whats that organic squishyness on the inside? EXCELLENT QUESTION AGAIN. If Eli died while inside The Charger then it's not a stretch to think his DNA would have been incorporated and stored via through the natural processes of the retrovirus as a provirus. And so you end up with the genetic mixture of a horrifying creature capable of heinous acts, and a Demon/Kaiju. WITH retroviral properties. Dear god.

Robbie would get exposed to this the very first time he enters the Charger. Because of his semi-immunity + genetic relation to Eli he would likely be able to overcome the more meatsuit damaging aspects of this mixture and just get right through the genome editing without much fuss from his immune system. We would still have a certain degree of damage to his nervous system which allows for that change in strength that would occur in usual examples of the virus (maybe some added aggression from mild influence in his amygdala), but not to a deadly degree. Honestly this shit would barely classify as a virus its just. A nightmare mutagen at this point. So while some of his gnome would remain fairly the same, a good 30% to 50% is megafucked.

Changing Robbies genotype to this degree will naturally result in a change to his phenotype! For the sake of fun were gonna ignore stem cells and their weirdness (for now. I just need to stew on it a little longer and I can make up some bullshit I'm sure). The damage his muscles would experience from less regulated signals would mean they experience muscle tears and subsequent muscle growth. For usual muscle damage from exercise this takes a few days, so if we wanted to keep with that timeline it could be interesting to introduce some minorly sped up healing. That would also be fun for reactivating the growth plates in his bones to allow him to become bigger and taller overall (boring body horror my beloved @cicada-candy that term is never leaving).

THEN you can get into some of the fucky wuckier traits like tapetum lucidum and TEEF. TEEEEEEFFFF. The teeth in particular could go a few different ways. You could just have growth and development of the canines resume until they become elongated and more prominant. OR. You could replace the teeth with bony protrusions from the skull that would push out the original canines and grow in their place. Because of the time it takes for bones to heal your looking at this happening around 20 weeks out. Literally any fun trait you want to take from Demon/Kaiju could apply here.

The most important part would be the nerve bundles on his spine that would be used to bluetooth to The Charger (<- this is a nonsense sentence. I am aware of this). These would provide faster communication with the charger and (theoretically) more intuitive movement, while also allowing him to eventually controlling the charger from the outside. Please note that this would cause EXTREME STRESS to his nervous system. It would be like a person trying to flex a muscle the size of another person for the first time. LEARNING PROCESS. TAKE IT SLOW OR HAVE AN ANEURYSM.

Which leads me to the youtuber apology part of this.

WHY I SHOULDNT HAVE JUMPED TO SKIN NECROSIS:

Skin necrosis is a result of the mass death of skin cells that is furthered by the damage to blood cells. This usually results in a blackened, leathery texture to the necrosed skin. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER EVEN MENTIONED THIS.

What I SHOULD have done is said 'hmm ah yes it would make more sense for some protective covering over these nerve concentrations to either come from materials in Robbies body or to mutate into the skin of the Demon/Kaiju'. This is why we do sufficient research before getting back on our bullshit, wazz (mental note mental note mental note mental note).

I am quite partial to the idea of that stronger/thicker Demon skin/armor growing under Robbies skin and it just itches and burns until he cant ignore it anymore. And then he can pull off. Whatever skin is on the top of it. HEHHEHEHOHOHOHO DELICOUS MENTAL IMAGE of him panicking because he just wanted to scratch his back but now theres blood on his hands and skin sloughing off and dear fucking lord how did he get to this point in his life (<- I daydream about normal things guys don't worry. very average things).

ANYWAY uhhhh if you made it this far I love you. Legit. Have a cookie. Take a nap. Have a happy holidaze <3.

#Also messing with the idea of the chargers stabalized corruption spreading so it becomes more biomechanical than just mechanical #so as that information spreads it updates robbie every time he pilots the charger. then you can get fun stuff like scars showing up on him #<- where the Charger has been damaged #FUN SHIT LIKE THE CHARGER BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY OPEN ITS FACE PLATE LIKE A MOUTH AND BITE A DEMON #bite scratch bite bite bite bite bite #I love him and so he must suffer #ghost rider pacific rim au #ghost rider #robbie reyes #speculative biology #this is two thousand words. how did i end up here

[spoogster]

Tobias.

(This is literally just rambling, please don't get mad for any of this. Hes literally me (fictive, but talking from a viewer point of view))

silly goober skrunkly skrunkle squishy guy (literally me)

Headcanons and what not.

-Doesn't work for slenderman. Never wanted to. It was Slenders mind control, his heavy influence. The people he killed? Not as many as you think. But the people he did kill, it wasn't his fault.

-Hates Slenderman. Like absolutely despises him. The only thing Slender was good for was giving him a place to stay, even if it wasn't much.

-Slender mansion? Slender manor? No. Abandoned campsite? Log cabins in the woods? Yes. He shares a cabin with Cody (X-virus), and Jeff used to be there until he got kicked out (literally) for trying to cut a smile into Cody and Tobys masks and faces. They got Liu to replace Jeff.

|

-Decent friends with: Cody (has to because they live together), Nina (she likes him more than he likes her but its okay), Natalie (they've always been chill), Liu (they're buddies, not like besties, but still friends), Helen (they do art together), Kate (guitar + mission buddies).

-Meh: E. J (has helped Toby recover(multiple times)), any of the animals (some of them bark too loud(one tried to bite his finger off)), Ben Drowned (gaming buddies), Jane (shes nice but doesn't really talk to him), Puppeteer (from their very few interactions, he's alright), Sally (forces him to have teapartys, though sometimes he enjoys it).

-Get away respectfully: Jeff (many reasons), Nurse Ann (shes pretty but too tall and scary seeming), Smile hd pinkie pie (sometimes fun but a little too murderous for him), Splendorman (a bit obnoxious sometimes).

-Get away. Like now.: 0ff3nd3rman (uhmm), Slenderman (ruined his life), Sully (no), Laughing Jack + Jill (too loud, annoying, jack gave him poisoned candy one time).

-No opinion: Sonic. Exe, BEN, Dina, Trendorman, Candypop, Jason, Lulu.

|

-Music taste is The Front Bottoms, Mindless Self Indulgence, System Of A Down, Panic! At The Disco, Get Scared, Bring Me The Horizon, Greenday, Blink 182, Lincoln, Three Days Grace, My Chemical Romance, Pierce The Veil, Lovejoy, TV Girl, Mitski.

-Clothing is usually whatever he has that still fits him. Some of it is from an emo era he went through and is still in. So like, band t-shirts, studded belts, raccon tail clips, chains, ect. But sometimes he goes for more casual which is usually sweaters and baggy pants.

-Appearance. He had a fringe at one point but grew it out. Never cuts his hair, so it gets in his way a lot (ponytail is the solution). Curly hair but straightens it a lot of the time. Piercings galore. Hazel eyes ((note: sometimes I give him heterochromia cause it's cool)). Pale skin but not like the original Toby kind of pale. Has always been tall for his age but stopped growing around 18-19 because he was going through a tough time and food was hard to come by, he was too scared to steal, the food Slender gave him could have been poisoned, who knows? So hes left as about 5'10-5'11. Hes pretty thin but is slowly building muscle as time goes on. Has some chub in the stomach but he isnt too worried about it.

-His mask is made of a thick fabric on the outside and has metal bars on the front of the mask to almost represent a mussel (canon).

-Doesnt actually like turtlenecks, they make his neck feel trapped and weird. But he wears them anyways because they hide his proxy symbol that was permanently engraved in his skin (by Slender).

-Fingerless gloves? Yessir. They help cover his scared hands. As well as they just look cool. And whenever he kills someone it's less likely he'll get his dna on the body.

-Raccoon person. Collects things he finds that others would consider trash. Like pop tabs, broken glass pieces, shiny things, rocks, ect. Messy hair. Just like his personality gives off raccon.

-Cheek gash is because he chewed the inside of his cheek so much that the skin tore. And he didn't really care so the hole kept getting bigger until eventually he got himself to stop chewing it. But now the gash is too big to heal.

|

-Has a couple guitars that he stole from music shops. The only one he didn't steal was one he got When he was first taken in. Slender gave it to him as "something to do" when he's bored. At first he didn't want it and never touched it. But he soon realised that it was really boring there. He tries to forget that Slender gave it to him. It's really beaten now, has worn down spots, and a bit of old blood dried onto the wood near the bottom of the strings because he strums too hard.

-Acoustic guitar: The really old musty beaten up one that Slender gave him. Almost turquoise in colour. Electric guitar: Black guitar that almost looks like something a rock star would have. Also kind of old. Doesn't use that one as much.

-Likes singing but gets nervous around people that arent in his cabin or Nat.

|

-Likes cuddles, hand kisses (platonically), head pats and pets, people playing with his hair. But he doesn't like asking for it because he finds it embarrassing.

-Not as childish as people think. Just clingy to people he enjoys.

-Drawing is something he really enjoys doing if he's not playing the guitar. He'll draw people from the other cabins, characters from movies and shows he likes, and even characters from the Slenderverse. Not really that good at drawing anything else.

-Always too nervous to show people his drawings or things he likes.

-Doesn't like being called "Ticci" Toby. He never liked it. Will probably get mad if you call him it more than once.

-Has terrible memory. Not even from Slenderman, he's just always had bad memory, and Slender didnt help at all. He will probably to get basic things like birthdays or people, even his own sometimes.

|

-Has never met anyone from the Slenderverse. But wants to.

-Feels bad for the others affected by Slender and the Slender sickness. But also enjoys the series. Even if the people go through literal hell.

-Would like to meet:

Tim, Brian, and Skully

Evan, Steph, and Jeff

Patrick and Michael

Chris

Milo/Mr scars and the Observer

|

-Things hes interested in include other muderers, weapons (has a journal for writing the information), horror (analog horror + args), music, art.

-He really enjoys watching the old slasher movies and he probably has them for cd and vhs. But also enjoys Tim burton movies. As well as Spider-man movies and series.

-As for shows. South Park (enjoys the humour), Superstore (enjoys the humour), and just any paranormal show (finds it interesting).

-His favourite weapon (axe) is a Tactical Axe or more widely known as a Tactical Tomakawk Axe. But theyre too expensive for him too buy. There was one time where he stole one. But someone from another cabin stole it and he hasnt gotten it back.

-Food. He likes pizza, usually cheese or pepperoni (or cheese with black olives, tehe). Also enjoys fruit, like watermelon, baby grapes, apples (galas or green apples), and pineapple.

-Smoking? Vape? Drugs? No. Alcohol? Sometimes. Its just for a relief sometimes or cause he needed it. But he's not an alcoholic and never will be.

-Knows how to use bow and arrow

(Im probably gonna hate this in like a day or two so yeah)

#creepypasta #toby rogers #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby hc #tobias rogers #tobias erin rogers

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Hagurumon

Debut: Digimon World (unobtainable); Digimon Pendulum 5.0 Metal Empire (obtainable)

Hello! I like Digimon now. Hagurumon is my favorite! And you, my treasured and beloved captive audience, are soon going to learn to love Hagurumon dearly, too.

For a brief overview of what exactly Digimon is, it began as a line of virtual pet toys, a direct counterpart to Tamagotchi, intended to be more Cool rather than Cute! Of course, it still has a lot of cute, which you know because you have looked at Hagurumon. Now, look at Hagurumon’s very first teeny tiny sprite!

So small! Not even big enough to be a choking hazard, probably! With how detailed a lot of Digimon designs are, I sometimes prefer the little pixel versions, but with Hagurumon, I think the full art is absolutely better. You get to see its wonderful and precious face! It has one round and one spiky eye-hole, and eyeballs deeper in those holes than they needed to be, for a great peering look, and the mouth! The mouth is so wonderful. The jaggedness gives its smile such an innocence that might not be captured in a smooth curve!

I haven’t mentioned it yet, and it is obvious at this point, but it still needs to be said that Hagurumon is Some Gears, but not JUST Some Gears, more like Thumb Gears! Because the two smaller gears are like five-fingered hands with the longer teeth! The gears are constantly rotating, and at this point its lore gets really funny, because it is said to have “countless gears built into its body”. I count three. Three gears. Its body is kind of bulbous, though, so maybe they’re inside? I guess we won’t know unless they showed us what it looks like inside, or something.

Oh! They did do that! It looks empty. It looks like it was opened like an egg and someone is frying up some Metal Yolk. So... three gears, still? I guess? I still think three. Thank you for opening up to us, Hagurumon!

This specific art of Hagurumon goes really hard look at it

Hagurumon is a Virus-attribute Digimon, and Virus-attribute Digimon are kind of... bad guys! But it is really not so simple. Hagurumon has the attribute because it can use black gears full of computer viruses to control other Digimon, but hold on, be nice to Hagurumon! It is not a bad guy! You see, it has no sense of self. If someone is using it for evil, it has no way of knowing! Similarly, though, it has no way of knowing if someone is using it for good, or being its friend... this is a very fascinating characterization for your monster sidekick, I think! Be nice to Hagurumon, even if it doesn’t understand, just because it deserves it.

Hagurumon has another form, where it is affected by the X-Antibody, and basically all you need to know about the X-Antibody is that it leads to new alternative designs for classic Digimon! Hagurumon’s perfect face is untouched, and it instead receives a larger gear to nestle in, new big drill hands, and even some new little guys! These are Kohagurumon, which contain an even more powerful computer virus, and are quite cute, but not as cute as Hagurumon itself. Overall, this form is very neat and cool and I like it! I prefer the original Hagurumon, but I like this a lot!

There is even more I could say about Hagurumon, but this post is long enough, I think. I think it is so wonderful that there is so much to say about any given one of hundreds of collectible creatures! I will end by noting that Hagurumon is a Child/Rookie level Digimon, which is typically the stage that serves as a human character’s sidekick, Digivolving into stronger forms temporarily but staying in this one by default. Needless to say, Hagurumon would absolutely be my partner Digimon, my (one-sided?) friend to the end!

#hagurumon #digimon #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako

[definitelynotshouting]

I said I was gonna stop cause it’s late but I thought of another question that I think you might enjoy

What exactly is the Listeners’ ecological niche? What do they do? You’ve mentioned that they’re symbiotic and function similarly to some fungi, and that they can even form a sort of hive mind with other Listener hosts to work towards the same goals, but what are those goals? How sentient are Listeners on their own, without a Player host?

WOOOOO OKAY SO THIS IS A POST IVE BEEN MEANING TO MAKE FOR A WHILE NOW AND ONLY JUST GOT THE TIME TO DO SO

Buckle in everyone lets talk about:

~Ecological Niches~

So to answer this question, im gonna ironically set the stage by talking about something that doesnt SEEM related but trust the process alright this is necessary background info

What we need to briefly dissect is server formation.

Ive mentioned before that singleplayer servers form around spawned Players--- much like a star, code coalesces and forms both Player and world, as a shield between them and the in-between. The thing ive only recently settled on is that all servers are formed by Players in some shape or manner.

Essentially: Players drive server creation.

I'm going to skip the mechanics for how multiplayers are formed rn because thats information for another post, but the essence of what you need to know is that Players are the driving force behind server formation. And the thing about Players, as entities, is that they have a drive to play. And the thing about playing is that sometimes... you get bored.

Theres a tendency to abandon old servers and old worlds--- it happens eventually to pretty much all of them, and its a natural process. Servers arent supposed to be around forever. But sometimes a Player will abandon a world that isnt that old yet, that isnt ready to be recycled by a virus, often for a myriad of reasons. One of these is boredom. Sometimes you just dont click with a with a new world. Sometimes you dont want to continue playing, and so its fairly common to just abandon the world and start a new one.

The problem with this is that theres only so much capacity a dev crystal has to maintain its server cluster, and overstuffing it with more servers than it can take will lead to its collapse (which as ive mentioned before, is CATASTROPHIC for the entire cluster). And this is where Watchers come in.

Where a Player's ecological niche is to create servers, a Watcher's is to keep Players within that server for a greater length of time. Basically, Watchers are a bit like herding dogs (and massive shout out to the anon who gave me that idea); before they were hunted almost to extinction, Watcher colonies would flock to different multiplayer servers and feed on the Players within them, heightening their emotions which very lowkey softlocked the Players into staying on that server for a greater length of time than if they were left to their own devices. When youre invested in a world, in the people within it, and your emotions are heightened while inside, you arent exactly focused on leaving, yknow???

So Watchers, on an ecological level, are essentially pinning Players in place to feed off of them, and keep them from abandoning servers for new ones at an unsustainable rate for the local dev crystal. Seekers, when they were around, would then hunt down the Watchers and eat them, or run them off in the process--- which then freed the Players to finally move on and make new servers again.

Which brings us to the ACTUAL question here, about Listeners.

Listeners are a relatively new type of entity, i think. With Seekers fully extinct, and most Watchers also hunted to critically endangered numbers, the universe needed a new solution for keeping Players in place for long periods of time so dev crystals wouldn't get overloaded. So Listeners were created as a new and more sophisticated way of forcing Players to stay in server worlds for a longer amount of time.

While Listeners dont have a super strong sense of individualism, they are independently sentient from Players and as entities they have a vested interest in remaining on specific servers as long as possible--- specifically because ive recently decided they are specifically connected to sculk. The explanation for that is ALSO for a different post, i think, but essentially Listeners can make new Listeners through the exp orbs Players expel after death, if they die near a sculk catalyst. So Listeners have a lot of incentive to stay on servers and get their Players to build up tons of exp levels before getting them to die so they can continue to make More Listeners, if that makes sense.

So to recap:

Players: create servers

Watchers: feed off Player emotions to trap them on servers for a longer period of time

Seekers: hunted and preyed on Watchers which released any trapped Players

Listeners: formed semi-recently to bridge the ecological gap made by the Seekers going extinct and hunting the Watchers to near extinction, for the same purpose of keeping Players in place for a longer period of time

I hope that answers your questions and then some!!! :D i need to make some posts about the new Listeners lore at some point soon, plus more info on multiplayers, but i'll leave those for a later date :] thank you for being patient while i percolated on this, i hope you like the post!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #minecraft worldbuilding #hermitcraft #mcyt #hunger au #shout out to Crow as well for helping me work thru my explanations for this and also for giving me the idea of Listeners + sculk #:]c #also op i hope u know if u have questions PLEASE hit me up with tjem #ive been rotating ur analysis on that other worldbuilding ask since u reblogged it and it was SO COOL #u are welcome to chat me up at any time #txt

[rimeiii]

I'm watching the past GDQ Trauma Center speedruns (notably the all XS New Blood run by Thurler and the any% Under the Knife 2 run by TrjnRabbit) and my Trauma Center brain is going BRRR rn, especially as someone whose fave doctor in the entire franchise is CR-S01...

Trauma Center AU where MC is Zayne's patient and they're infected with GUILT/Neo-GUILT/Stigma/the Rosalia virus. They're desperately trying to stay alive but it's looking bleak, as some of these organisms actively harm the host - especially GUILT, which definitely counts as a bioweapon.

Or...or. Hear me out here. We're entering spoiler territory for the original Under the Knife and its remake Second Opinion so I'll put it under the cut, but imagine...

In the original Trauma Center, there are people known as Sinners, who are human hosts barely kept alive to serve as the breeding grounds for more GUILT cultivation. Canon says they're kids-teens, but what if we tweaked that around for More Pain...

What if our MC is one of those Sinners? Just barely lucid to register Zayne's presence as he desperately tries to keep them alive, using his Healing Touch to freeze their vitals as he treats whatever symptoms the GUILT inflicts onto them, until he finds a cure for the GUILT...

For added pain, I think MC should be a host for Pempti (in-universe, this strain took several separate operations to research and develop a nanomachine to aid in killing it, and it fills the lungs/liver with liquid - until it starts getting attacked, where it'll periodically release tiny organisms to inflict lacerations/create tiny tumors/drain your vitals) or Triti (one of the most annoying strains for players because it will multiply nonstop if not extracted properly, and calcification of organs doesn't sound fun either).

With MC being a host for any of those GUILT strains, the organization behind GUILT, Delphi, has MC's life as a bargaining chip. They use MC's life to basically force Zayne to work for them, otherwise the MC and the other Sinners would be killed. Pressed for time and desperate to save his love, along with realizing he's technically enabling Delphi, Zayne soldiers on through to find a cure...desperately hoping that it won't be too late, that MC will survive - even when all signs point that MC won't survive.

On a more lighthearted note, however...

Imagine MC asking if Zayne can speedrun surgery like these speedrunners, he's going to be so fucking horrified and/or offended LMAO. Mostly because the commentary is funny in the context of speedrunning, but aren't things you want your surgeon to say. Some choice quotes in the GDQ speedruns include:

"(vs the Cheir and Kyriaki dual boss in New Blood) Hey buddy can you make more lacerations? (Cheir makes more lacerations) Thanks!"

"(farming chain on Cheir lacerations, and Cheir is almost dead, still on New Blood) Doctor, please end the operation." "NO."

"So we're going to boost vitals..." "Yeah that's kinda necessary after you put the patient through 7 cardiac arrests..."

"(finishing the first operation in all any% speedruns) This is going to be the last time we're disinfecting the wound before applying the bandage. Gotta go fast!"

"Yeah so we're going to let some of these aneurysms burst..." this happens on almost every any% aneurysm operation, they're so bad i still hate the three patients brain aneurysm stage from Under the Knife 2 to this day. oh also, bringing scalpels to excise aneurysms willy nilly on the brain.

"(vs Brachion X stage, New Blood) There is no chain requirement here so you are allowed to let the toxins reach the end..."

"(vitals at 0, which is technically 0.x ingame, so the patient isn't dead yet) Nice vitals..." "The patient is alive, that's what matters!"

"Okay so ignore the glass shards in the heart for now..."

"Don't ask how an entire ribcage got stuck inside their lung."

"So, we're now operating in the back of a moving car!"

"Ironically, the best way to boost chain is to let your patients suffer."

"Welcome to the anime malpractice simulator!"

"The way to stop his crankiness is to poke him with a scalpel until he stops bleeding. (shrugs) It's medicine."

"Two malpractices make a positive, right?" "Yeahh, but we'll end up in the thousands...don't know where that bounces at."

Zayne left completely dumbfounded by the commentary. "Things you don't want to hear your surgeon say", indeed.

#love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x mc #zayne x reader #love and deepspace imagine #love and deepspace crossover au #play trauma center y'all #amazing game

[unrealblacklightvirus]

alex pronoun/gender time (spoilers for prototype 1 & 2)

okay i just want to preface this with. i am not super familiar with lgbtq+ terminology or labels so i apologize in advance if i say something weird or wrong (please correct me if i do! i am.. like an old man but i am willing to learn) but i do wave the trans flag myself :) also note that this my personal headcanon for alex, you are entitled to your own interpretations about alex !! (and i like seeing the differences between them)

alex is torn between his viral nature vs. the man he was. for almost all of his life he had nothing to go off of except his name and the memories of alex others would tell him, like dana or karen parker and so hes lost. lost and trying to find something to ground him, especially when the hivemind is pulling him in all these directions and the people hes consumed fill his mind with memories that arent his .

he wants to hold onto something that he knows is true to alex mercer, he wants to stay as close to the original mercer as he can (barring his douchebag personality) because that is what people percieve as "human"; a pretty bad example of a human, but a human nonetheless. hence, keeping the he/him pronouns because it makes him feel like he is just like them (them being society. he wants to fit in LOL)

he rejects the it/its pronouns (i think it/its pronouns are dope as hell but for my alex it doesnt really fit the characterization i gave him), mainly because its what blackwatch calls him to take away his humanity and treat him more as a weapon more than a person . he hates being called "it", it can really piss him off (and he rarely gets pissed off) .he wants to be more like what society thinks of as a "person's" pronouns?

of course, he is a shapeshifter who can flawlessly mimic other humans who, surprise! use other pronouns than he and him. so when he's in a disguise, he takes on the pronouns of whoever he is at that moment (she/her, they/them, ze/zir, it/its, all the others) without a single shit given. hes just as comfortable with those pronouns as he is with his, when hes shapeshifted.

its when blackwatch knows its alex and still use it/its that ticks him off, although there are some exceptions (like being undercover with someone, being a friend and .not blackwatch, etc). now that i think of it, alex, even when disguised, is still okay with he/him as long as its not in front of blackwatch or people who dont know hes a shapeshifting viral monster who is normally a man but sometimes everything else.

as for actual gender.... hes... i dont know how to describe it. both cis and agender? does that make sense? i headcanon him to be cis, like a cis male (and i think doc mercer too? but i dont really think about him that much) but also being a literal viron that has no gender because it is a virus. which have no gender. and he is no gender and all the genders inside because of the people hes consumed but he is a male??? this is confusing. hes confusing. hes confused. we are both confused.

he knows hes not human and therefore doesnt have to abide with human binaries, but he takes comfort in being a man - a human. in P2, the reason for him becoming Evil is because he manages to go on a international vacation to the places on earth where somehow, only the worst of humanity lives? and he never sees a glimpse of goodness and selflessness and love and joy ever during that whole period? and decides that everyone is just as bad as the worst of the worst and that only the strong (and apparently not evil? even though his actions are literally. Evil??????) shall survive?

what the FUCK, writers.

so i said FUCK YOU and gave this man a unquenchable thirst for life and hope and kindness and curiosity and learning. he will find humanity. he will see the bad but also the good and he will find that humans are not perfect but they are also humans who learn and create and grow and make mistakes! that the world is this grey, not so black and white, that he can make a difference not by some fucked up viral eugenics but by . being good and being helpful and being kind and loving and friendly and a ridiculous viral puppy dog cat thing that makes people laugh and smile.

. i like happy endings. sue me.

#post got derailed at the end because i love talking about happy things #but yeah #gender stuff #pronouns #gender #alex notes #gender identity

[moderator-monnie]

Technology Meets Organics (part 1)

(A Slammer Sonic & Contaminated au story)

This is a crossover between my sonic.exe au Slammer Sonic and @sonicexelle-junkary horror Sonic au Contaminated Sonic.

One of the new copies of the Slammer virus found itself on a new PC. It quickly integrated itself into the PC and searched through the data and absorb what wasn't important and what wouldn't be noticed. That is when the computer virus noticed some documentation about a strange biological virus known as the (contamination), and not just that this other virus was in a very familiar world to the virus.

This new information piqued the interest of the Slammer copy, and it dug in and read somewhat quickly about how the (contamination) functions and how it spreads. Slammer knew what they had to do.

They found a way into this world where the other virus was being stored through a gateway on the PC, and after a quick search in the universe code, the Slammer virus found its ideal host. It quickly wiggled in its worm form through an air vent and made its way into Dr. Eggman's laboratory, moving throughout the base until it found what it wanted.

The worm slowly crawled up the leg of the machine known as Metal Sonic; the robot didn't even notice he was just in sleep mode, which made Slammer's body invasion even more simple, squirming into the hole in the middle of Metal's chest, after which Slammer integrated its own code into Metal Sonic. It took no time at all as it devoured and assimilated all the unnecessary code inside the machine.

Then it made copies of itself, spreading through Metal Sonic's body until it completely made the machine its permeant host. Now Metal Slammer Sonic's body changed colour, matching the colour scheme of Slammer Prime, which is cyan blue, and his shoes are a golden colour. This body was much easier to control because of its being technological in nature, so Metal Slammer Sonic had no issue getting used to his new powers.

After assimilation was complete, Metal Slammer Sonic shot through the barricaded door of the labatory and performed an area scan, searching for any signs of life at top speeds. He found a few flicky and quickly sent worms into their bodies; they were quick to turn into nothing but bone. Few new worms were made, but enough for now.

Metal Slammer Sonic continued to hover in the air and perform more area scans, and soon stumbled across his first mobian victim. Although it would be a bit of a fight because it knew this host wasn't trusted by most mobians, it knew it had the power to take this boy down. The boy was Charmy Bee, and with a quick boost in power, he sped towards him.

Charmy didn't take long to notice and dodged out of the way as Metal Slammer slammed into the ground. Charmy just looked at what he thought was Metal Sonic, confused.

"Woah, woah, hey, we're no longer enemies. I barely made it away from my former friends and teammates. We've got a bigger threat to face now, Metal! Has Eggman not updated you about that weird virus going around or something? I was just heading to his base, since it's the safest area."

Charmy looked curiously at the robot, noticing his different paint job, and buzzed around, getting close as Slammer Metal Sonic stopped in place with beeps and boops.

"What's with the new paint? What the boss thought he'd confuse you for the real Sonic or something? Hehehehe, I can't say I blame him after what Sonic has become thanks to whatever this thing is. I wouldn't want to get confused, either."

Metal Slammer Sonic took in the information closely, deciding to just listen and wait for the perfect moment to strike, as meanwhile Charmy just sighed, struggling to stay happy. He didn't even know why he was trying to hide his emotions; it's not like Metal Sonic cared.

The poor kid was about to start crying; he had just lost Espio and Vector, but he rubbed the tears from his eyes as he noticed a worm crawling out of one of Metal Sonic's eyes and got very close to him.

"Woah, been playing in the dirt or somethin Metal? Hehehe, the wormies seem to like you!"

Once close enough, Slammer Metal grabbed onto him, doing a quick scan just to see if the contamination was already inside the bee. But it wasn't. Charmy wasn't infected, so Slammer Metal took this as an invitation and dug his metal claws into the boy's back quickly.

Charmy screamed in pain, buzzing loudly, and tried to attack Metal Sonic with his stinger as he looked angrily at the robot.

"Hey, what GIVES? Jeez, get off me, you dumb machine. Wait... Is that? No, no hurry, get off!"

Charmy struggled, panicked, as he wasn't strong enough to get free, but he also noticed something in the distance; it was Sonic as Slammer Metal. Sonic dug his claws deep into Charmy's skin. He kept a tight grip, and soon enough, some worms wiggled from the robot's claws and inside the bee's body.

The Slammer worms quickly made their way to Charmy's spine, severing his connection to the rest of his body and paralysing the boy completely as he fell limp to the ground, when Slammer Metal Sonic's claws dropped him.

Slammer Metal was watching the fear in Charmy's eyes as his insides were slowly filled with eggs and devoured by worms. And while that happened, Sonic, or rather Contaminated, watched this from a distance, curiously turning its head.

The infected hedgehog didn't quite know what was going on; all it knew was that it was trying to find Charmy because, knowing the bee got away from its newest hosts, Vector and Espio, it just tapped its foot up and down, somewhat fascinated by the display before it.

Slammer Metal soon detected the Contaminated behind him, though he had no real ability to speak, not yet beyond beeps and boops, so he waited, feeling the whole process of the worms devouring and multiplying inside Charmy's body at alarming speeds.

Since this copy of Slammer was made directly from Slammer Prime, he could assimilate organics slightly faster into more code worms, and that is exactly what he did, taking only 20 minutes before they left only bones on the boy's body.

Once the process was complete, all the worms flooded inside Slammer Metal Sonic's body through any hole in the body the host had, and after just a few more minutes, Slammer Metal finally turned completely around and tapped his metal neck a few times. He slowly updated his systems, and a message appeared across his eyes.

(Organic to technological update complete.)

Now Slammer Metal fully noticed the Contaminated Sonic, and it took a few seconds before the computer virus was able to speak in what sounded like a slightly distorted and robotic version of Charmy's voice.

"Hello, fellow virus. I am the SQL Slammer Virus, a computer virus able to adapt to any environment. I am but one of many copies of the virus, and I discovered a way into your world because I found myself curious about you. I took this host as my body after studying what information there is about you."

"I decided it would be more adaptable to focus more on my technological aspects so I could meet you and not risk my host body being infected."

#Sonic The Hedgehog #Sonic.EXE #Sonic.EXE au #Sonic.EXE OC #Slammer Sonic #Slammer Virus #sonic horror au #contaminated! au #contaminated! sonic #short story #virus meets virus #crossover moment #Metal Slammer Sonic #Charmy Bee #tw: blood #tw: gore #tw: worms

[lepartidelamort]

Iran Warns West That Jews are Trying to Pull Them Into a Regional War

By Andrew Anglin

Everyone knows this is the situation.

Warning the West won’t do anything.

The West is controlled by the Jews. We have a total infestation of these people. We’re like a rotting corpse propelled by a zombie virus.

The Jews don’t allow any adult discussions at all.

The Guardian:

Benjamin Netanyahu is seeking to trap the west into a total war across the Middle East that would have incalculable consequences for the region and the world, Iran’s top diplomat in the UK has claimed, in his first interview since Tehran launched an unprecedented missile and drone attack against Israel at the weekend. Seyed Mehdi Hosseini Matin also warned that if Israel made “another mistake” by launching an attack on Iran, there would be a response from Iran that was stronger, more severe, and administered without a warning like that issued before the weekend attack. The salvo of more than 300 drones and missiles – almost all of which were intercepted by Israel and its allies or fell short of their targets – came in retaliation for a 1 April airstrike on the Iranian consulate in Damascus, Syria, that killed several Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guards officers. Israel’s top general, Lt Gen Herzi Halevi, has said the country would respond, but it remains unclear what form that would take. “The response to the next mistake of the Zionist will not take 12 days’ time. It will be decided as soon as we see what the hostile regime has done. It will be immediate, and without warning. It will be stronger and more severe,” said Matin, Iran’s chargé d’affaires in London. He ruled out Iran attacking civilian centres or building a nuclear weapon, even though he said Iran knew Israel was an undeclared nuclear state.

Cool billboard in central Tehran.

Matin argued that the west was losing credibility in the Middle East in a way that would ultimately lead to the US leaving the region, and a peace being reached by regional powers alone. “This is a good opportunity for western countries to demonstrate that they are rational actors, and they are not going to be entrapped by Netanyahu and his goal, which is to be in power for as long as he could actually stay in power,” he claimed. “Iran has considered its actions very carefully, and understood that there is a trap, but not for Iran, for the western countries and allied countries in which they are drawn by the Zionist state into a total war inside the Middle East, and the whole world soon may be unable to control the consequences.” Matin insisted that before the attack on Israel, Iran had urged western officials – including the British foreign secretary, David Cameron – to back a UN security council statement condemning Israel for attacking the Iranian consulate in Damascus. It had also urged the west to back an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, he said. Matin said Cameron had last week refused the Iranian request, even though this week he had admitted that the UK would have responded very strongly if a hostile power flattened a British consulate. “As Cameron mentioned, rightly, every nation has the right to defend itself against this kind of flagrant breach of diplomatic and international law.”

Iran would actually be justified doing a lot more. A lot more.

Bombing a consulate is a very serious act of war.

But the Western media is trying to reframe this as if it was an unprovoked attack.

Actually, a lot of Western media was saying it was “retaliatory,” but now the whole narrative has switched to Israel “responding.”

They are responding to a response, because their goal was always to escalate the Gaza situation into a war with Iran. That’s why they let the attack on October 7th happen in the first place. That’s why they bombed the consulate, knowing that Iran would send rockets at them.

The whole thing was a setup from the beginning.

Israel knows that the US is flailing, they know that American support for them is failing, they know that they only have so much time left to drag us into a war that we have any hope of winning. So they’re doing that. That’s what’s happening.

If Israel wasn’t planning to throw the US at Iran, they never would have let October 7th happen in the first place. We’ve been on rails since that fateful day.

#dailystormer

[magnificentdreamlandblizzard]

Villain! Yui headcanons

Me: Somehow has no ideas for what to post next on Tumblr.

Also me: Somehow reads one sentence out of a SAO book and gets a rush of ideas.

Summary: Head cannons for if Asuna and Kirito started a family, which makes Yui get ignored, and eventually abandon her family for good.

Normal! Yui who has no idea that recently Kirito and Asuna made a family. The two hadn’t told any of their friends that Asuna was expecting, which includes Yui. They wanted it to be a surprise but the child came earlier than expected, causing a sudden run to the hospital along with Kirito and Asuna telling all their friends suddenly.

Lonely! Yui who has to sit alone in a game, waiting for her two parents. Yet the two hadn’t expected the baby to come so soon, or to require SO much work. So much work that they didn’t have time to go through a full dive or even tell Yui why they disappeared so suddenly. And none of Kirito or Asunas friends talked to Yui either, being so surprised by the sudden addition to the couple that Yui was the last thing on their minds.

Heartbroken! Yui who has been removed from the machine on the top of Kiritos desk. She doesn’t know why, and when she asks her parents about it they just make up excuses on why she can’t. They can’t tell her that they’re planning to make a baby and what the process of it is, she’s too young for that. But her counseling AI can tell that they’re lying, so when the legendary duo disappear, Yui gets worried and investigates.

Even though she lost the small device Kirito had on top of his computer, she is an application stored in his computer though, and has access to his camera. So she watches it and all she sees is Kirito and Asuna flopping into bed a bit earlier than they usually go to bed. 

Eventually though, Yuis night vision kicks on and she can see the outline of a baby’s cradle to the right of their master bed. Her eyes well up with tears. Did they replace her?!?! Yuis eyes start to well up with tears, and she tries to push the intrusive thoughts away but eventually they win. Why did they forget about her?!?! Why didn’t they tell her?!?! Why isn’t papa and mamas friends talking to her either?!?! 

And why did she have to stay on the good side?

Villain! Yui who tries to reach out to her parents using the voice module, but finds out that it doesn’t work. It hurts so much to only be able to watch this happen and not be able to do anything, but Yui doesn’t know that the storage for her voice module was sucked up by all the baby games Kirito downloaded onto his computer, so it only adds to her thought that she is getting left behind.

She can’t bear to watch this anymore, so she jumps back into the world of Altheim online, scenes of what she saw flashing in her head. She feels her heart harden and she knows she needs to be strong and push her family out of the picture, and replace them just like they replaced her. 

As her tiny body that was idle sitting against the cabin wall of their house opened her eyes again, she knew she had to get revenge.

Villain! Yui who can’t change anything because she doesn’t have administrator controls in the game, since a robot built to help others with their mental health doesn’t need that. So she goes back to leaving her idle body against the cabin walls with its eyes shut, but not to see her ex-family again. Those people are dead to her now, and seeing them again would bring about nothing proficient. 

So instead, Yui takes control of Kiritos computer while he sleeps, using his mouse to open up a sight and download a virus to his amu-sphere. 

When she’s back inside she flys up only to be amazed with how many buttons she can click now! She hasn’t had this many yet buttons ever as an AI, but now that they’re all in her possession, there’s no limit to what she can do…

Villain! Yui who ends up using her powers to strip everything off the in-game avatars of Kirito and Asuna, leaving both of them to have to reload only in their undergarments the next time they boot up the game. IF they ever boot up the game though. Along with their stats, Yui also strips them of their inventory, throwing their many hours of hard work away. But she didn’t care anymore, her heart was made of stone.

Villain! Yui who gets visited by her parents when they boot up the game to have a celebration inside their digital world. The couple was having a party for the baby, so only imagine their shock when they see that an account they hadn’t come on to for a while has been stripped clean of their progress. 

Of course the two would never suspect their darling daughter, but when they talk to her and ask her what might’ve happened, they’re only greeted by a coldness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. 

And their attempts at a conversation didn’t going anywhere either. Mostly just ending up in Yui ignoring them, interrupting them, or just flat out not listening. Eventually though Yui walks out of the house and onto the porch before she flies off into the distance in tears. Guess her heart wasn’t as strong as she thought it was….

Villain! Yui who only comebacks when she sees that both of them ended up logging out. They likely saw no other option and left her behind only to end up bringing their friends over to convince her some other time.

Such weaklings… Yui thought with a glare, her tiny hands balled up into fists.

Seeing as the cabin was empty and dark under the night sky printed with millions of stars, she sat on the couch alone, reflecting over her actions. As she sat there and remembered her tears, she felt herself get angry and started to beat herself up about it. How could she do that?!?! She needed to be strong or-!

Or…

She looked around the house, imagining sunlight streaming through as her mother, Asuna, carried dishes while she smiled down at Yui. Meanwhile Kirito came out of the bedroom and picked Yui up, spinning her around as she giggled. Then the three of them all happily hugged each other in one smiling-giggly mess. That’s when an idea hit her…

Maybe she didn’t need to harden her heart… maybe she just needed to replace them with code, and start a new family.

Villain! Yui who waists no time to make new code and shove them into the avatars of her old parents, converting them into NPC’s. When they instantly materialized, they started smothering her in love, making Yui very happy.

As days went by though, Yui could feel a small part of herself empty and eating away at her. 

Why though? She was happy… right?

But as Yui could feel the inevitable day where her mama and papa come back with all their friends getting closer, she realized that it didn’t feel.. right. They didn’t act the exact the way the original two did, always making her remember what she’s done.

So after a bit of deciding she removes the code and throws it away from both of her parent’s bodies. After all, she didn’t need them now since she had a plan…

Villain! Yui who is waiting for her parents when they spawn in, surprised to see that they’re in clothes again. And even more surprised when they find out that all of their friends have been permanently banned, causing Yui to smile when they see her reactions. 

But their surprise changes into absolute freak-out mode when they realize that there is no log out button just like in SAO! This can’t be happening, can it?

But meanwhile their darling little girl just smiles up at them, being down at their feet since she changed to be child-size again.

“See mama, papa? I got rid of all those external influences so we can be together forever… Now you’ll never leave me again.”

#sao alicization #kirito #asuna #asuna yuuki #sword art online #villain #headcannons #artificial intelligence

[steveharrington]

Could you talk more about the issues you have with s4? I’m only asking bc I think you’re very sensible when writing about ST!

yessss i love to whine and complain <3 plus ive had a lot of time to Reflect and Marinate on the season so i think these thoughts will be more coherent than some of the stuff i was posting directly after it came out. here we go <3

biggest overall complaint is steve's storyline taking a sharp left turn back into stancy territory. before anyone sends me a why dont you like stancy ask: stancy itself isn't even the reason i disliked this storyline! (also they arent compatible and want different things and its canonically stated like 5 different times in the show) but the Main reason i disliked steve's writing this season was that it largely undermined the value of his relationships with other people. season two established that steve would willingly put himself in harm's way for the kids both against billy and in the tunnels, and season three went on to establish that steve feels the most comfortable when he's hanging out with robin and dustin and just being himself, free from social expectations. all of these discoveries that we worked up to since season one were basically just forgotten in this season. steve is annoyed with dustin, annoyed about staying with the kids, gets injured and only has a meaningful interaction with nancy while robin just walks off screen, doesn't get a single emotional interaction with dustin about the danger they're in or the trauma they're undergoing even after eddie fuckin DIES and overall i just felt like he wasn't acting like himself in terms of his relationships with other people, and this to me seems like an issue with the duffers wanting to prioritize a love triangle once again

i also just have issues with the plot writing as a whole. soooooo many glaring mistakes that just do not seem typical of a stranger things season! ive seen people say "well what did we expect" NOT THIS?? idk from small details like will's birthday and hopper apparently just lying on the floor completely unscathed to larger overall bad writing like eddie's death being absolutely pointless and no one talking about it afterwards, the season somehow feels rushed? even though it was 2x as long as any other season and they had three years to write it? how do you have a 2 hr 30 min episode and not a single scene where the people who spent all season protecting eddie don't get together and talk about his death. that's just...unfathomable to me

out of the four storylines in volume one, two of them were like unbearably boring to me. im so sorry. it got to the point where every time it cut away from hawkins i would text em "FUCKKK" because they were far and away the most compelling story. i always predicted the russia plotline would be boring like the second s3 ended i said oh boy thats gonna be boring. but the HNL storyline......was somehow even more boring. and i love el! i liked venry as a villain! i LOVE JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER but jesus christ is brenner a redundant boring ass character who's always entering the frame sneakily and saying some shit like "eleven......the virus inside you is spreading.....you are an evil evil little girl" like JESUS dude we get it. idk ive never found his character nearly as interesting as the show seems to think he is, and i think spending this much time with him this season was honestly a mistake! so glad he's dead rip. i also wasn't a fan of the stretched out bullying plotline because it was very cartoonish to me and also just like. not necessary. we already know el feels alienated. watching her get shoved to the ground and have a milkshake spilled on her precious little dress just felt like kicking her while she was down

anyways theres a lot this season did well! quite honestly, it all falls apart in the last episode. without the mistakes made there, it would have been so much stronger. but alas i fear it's my least favorite season of stranger things so far because of these issues </3 to me there were times where i was like "am i really watching stranger things right now??" because the writing choices were just so bizarre and uncharacteristic of the show as a whole. praying season 5 is better but i have a strong feeling season 2 will always reign supreme

#anon #answered

[revelisms]

Excerpt: What Were Any of Us?

Jinx and Singed chat about new developments across the river.

From 'fate is a sundress, ripped at the thigh,' a oneshot exploring Jinx's relationship to Sevika and Singed in the aftermath of S1. Full story on AO3

"Your eye for chemistry is quite remarkable," he says. "I'd not have seen the patterns you caught. A consequence of living too closely to the colonies, perhaps."

Jinx snuffs a breath through her fringe. It's the first day in too many that she's brushed her hair the whole way through: drawn it back into a clean tail at her nape, tied it off with a tattered old ribbon, a shock of neon green in the mess.

"Wasn't hard," she rasps, shrugging. "Just gotta look for the magicy bits, and stuff."

The doctor's good eye crinkles at the edges. The other stays flat and white. 

It should be black and red and fire and warm and unblinking. Should be. But it's familiar, that unbalance. Comforting, in an odd way.

"This is because of the stone," he presumes. She fiddles at her cup, nails clinking off the handle. "I knew another, once, with a similar inclination. Smart boy. We keep in touch, from time to time."

For a moment, she only feels his eyes studying her, silently. Only hears the waves, feels the wind, the pressure of her cup biting back at her.

"I wonder...if this might be of interest to you." He reaches inside his coat; sets a small leather-bound journal, thick as a thumb, upon the iron. "Notes of his, on a new development with the Arcana."

A shock frissons through her skin.

She sees blue and fire and magic and whirling and gone gone rocketing—

We'll show them—

"It won't bite, child."

Still, she just stares at it, blinking. Her nail slips against the porcelain.

One wrinkled side of his face lifts at her, at that: a crooking remnant of an eyebrow singed off. "Aren't you curious?" he prods, quietly. Because she should be. She should be. "A world waiting to be discovered at our fingertips. Science—and magic."

"World of heebie-jeebies, you mean?" Jinx swipes up the notes, leveling a suspicious leer over their edges. "Bor-ing."

"You are not intrigued by the combination." The skin around his beady eye creases, again. "Neither was he. But the technology; the potential." She glances through her fringe. Watches as he crooks his head at her, and hums. "It is what interests me, too." 

Maybe that's true. Maybe she doesn't give a hoot. Maybe she wishes she could turn back time, wishes she could build welding robotics and mechanical contraptions and micro-tech that responded to touch, had minds of their own; augmentations with precipice and wonder and deadly promise, that could fly high enough to touch the stars.

That little cup of coffee tips to his gums again, hissed through his teeth. "Mages have tried and failed, for centuries, to write magic into being," he continues. "But it is a living thing. It evolves. What better way to house it, than in a body that can adapt?"

She thumbs through a page of spindly illustrations. "Metal's still metal."

"Hextech has its limitations," he agrees. "Namely, the lack of life. The Arcana feeds off it, like a virus—but the result it produces..."

Her fingers still over countless calculations—variations upon variations of organic material reverted into something else, something infinite.

"It is...volatile, yes," continues a voice across from her, faraway. "But—you see? Even in it's infancy—"

"It could heal," Jinx breathes.

The doctor blinks at her. His thin fingers steeple together, and taper still. "Create," he corrects. Then, with a quietness to the rough edges of his words: "Many things could have healed him, child. In time." Her thumb presses hard into the page. Leaves a crease. "But so are the limitations of science. You cannot force progress beyond the tools you are given."

Jinx snaps the book shut. She squeezes it, stiffly. "What—what do you...want me to do with this?"

The air whistles with a gust of cool ocean air. It carries a speckling of salt, the smoky traces of a storm just along the way, and beneath them both, a sharp, chemical sort of sweetness: the kind that's sewed itself through her skin, from a lifetime working with gears and gunmetals and explosives; that kind that sits on the doctor's clothes, too. 

He doesn't wear oils or fragrances. Never has. He smells like mildew and mothballs and that strange, floral taint of the black lilies, of the shimmer itself: a prism of too many things battling for attention, like the clutter of an apothecary's back shelves—but above it all, a spiced sort of musk, like dragon's blood.

It would stain her fingers after his injections. Change the air around him, for a minute or two, after that needle would prick the rot, drive a synthesized strand of blood into his veins and shatter him with the pain of it, shredding his genetic makeup alive and reforging a new one in its place.

As a girl, she'd wondered, morbidly, if enough doses would turn his skin pink, or his hair white, or if he'd never walk free from that feverish state the doctor demanded he'd stay in to survive.

But the shimmer never broke him, not completely. He'd always find the pieces of himself and put them back together.

It was in her veins now, too. But it'd eaten some part of her, in the process; bludgeoned through her like she'd smashed that damned vase. She couldn't find the pieces, now.

"I don't want you to do anything with it." The doctor's knobby fingers unfold, lace back together. "But if it interests you...well. I am continuing to pursue the developments."

She ticks her nail over the journal's binding. 

She wishes he took up more space that he does, with his simple clothes and his flatcap on his spotty bald head. That he didn't just stink of the lab. 

The salt stings her eyes. 

Her lungs strain, stupidly strain to make that ocean air something else; to pretend those bony hands had scratches and scars, instead of burn pocks; that the shadow of his hat turned his blind eye black; that the scent on his wools was bergamot and sandalwood and clove and cedar and tobacco and—

"Does the ogre know that?" she bites out.

The doctor tips a glance over his shoulder, out towards the sea. "That is what you call her?" he drawls, bemused. His mismatched eyes flit back to her. "She is the helm of the knights, child—not the beast for them to slay. You should have seen her, the day they took the bridge. Should have seen all of them."

She shoves the notebook back to the table. "You weren't with them."

"Those that tend the wounded can't take the front lines, themselves. So goes war." 

He folds his hands in his lap, leans back in his seat. She frowns at him, for a long moment. Rips her eyes away.

"He never—" Her nails squeeze into her palms. "Never said how you—you met him. Never told me."

A fluttering of fingertips dances in her periphery. "Does it make a difference? Fate has her ways. You, of all of us, should know that."

The words sit strangely on her. "I was just wondering."

For an eternity, the sea holds his attention. And she's used to that. She can handle that. Silence and thinking and always strategizing moves from four steps ahead, words weighed and strung together like precious stones—

"I didn't meet him, per-say. He was a subject." He lays a sallowed fingertip against the edge of his cup: tips it on its axis, from one side to another. "It took two weeks to stabilize the infection. Not a moment of it, I think, was he coherent." The cup stills. "What crawled off my table was not the same man."

Jinx presses her thumb into the heel of her palm, and keeps it there, like a dead weight. Quietly, she asks, "What was he...like, before?"

The doctor leaves the notes on the table between them. His stare skews curious, unwavering. Like she's nothing more than a test subject writhing his table, too.

"What were any of us?" he hushes.

#arcane fanfic #fic excerpt #jinx arcane #singed arcane #mentioned silco #cw death #cw grief #these two #the way i wasn't planning to root for surrogate science parent singed but then this scene got the most emotional out of all of them #aaghgh #writing