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joontier · 4 years

Text

akin ka na lang (muli.) | drabble

translation: be mine (again.)

synopsis: Dr. Kim Taehyung, locally known for his successful cardio-thoracic surgeries. One thing he isn’t known for though, is that he’s your two-timing ex who’s come to visit you in the new hospital you work at.

pairings: taehyung x reader

rating: R (18+)

au: doctors!au; exes!au | genre: smut, slight angst, mentions of infidelity

warnings: exhibitionism, fingering, cunnilingus, degradation

word count: 2.2k

request: by @taemaknae “silakbo track feat. taehyung + doctor!au (because we need more doctor aus hehehe” SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE BABE!! but here ya gooo! I hope u enjoy it luv hehehhehe

g/n: this is part of The Paraluman Playlist - a drabble game we’re holding for the whole month of August!!! Send in your requests lovelies;; ((why do i get the feeling that this could be a good prologue too ajsdfhoaiwjef)) also,,, this might be a part of a fic crossover with one im working on right now with jk wOOPS

navi. | m.list

“And that concludes the reports for this month’s cardiac surgery reports.”

Ending your presentation with one last click of your pointer, you turn to your fellow doctors, resisting the strong urge to roll your eyes. Some of the seniors are already asleep, while those who are a closer to your age are obviously bored to the bone.

You’re seriously considering if you want to even bother asking the audience if they have any further questions when no one was listening in the first place anyways. Well, maybe except for the chairman who had been all ears the whole time.

Meetings like these are just a major waste of time – time you could have used to sleep your fatigue away after having completed a five-hour open heart surgery last night. If it only weren’t for the hospital’s board of directors that implemented this scheme.

The Ministry of Health and Welfare had only encouraged all hospitals to hold conferences like this to support medical-related research, but The Woocheon Group, after having been praised by the ministry itself for pioneering experimental medicine and clinical trials, upped its game, scheduling these quarterly conferences to monthly ones.

This plan would have sounded engaging to most third parties, but to those who were chosen to create reports, such as yourself, do not find these meetings most pleasant. After all, these month-end reports will also be uploaded to Woocheon’s online journals. Not that these doctors would even read any of those even if published both online or in paper. Unless of absolute necessity as reference, of course.

Your eyes scan over the audience consisting of at least forty doctors until you lock eyes with the one and only Kim Taehyung - infamous for his recently successful cardio-thoracic surgery on a twenty-two year old athlete back at Daegu Medical Center. Unfortunately for you, he’s also the same man who cheated on you for another colleague a few years back.

He was the reason you left DMC in the first place, unable to continue your career back at the center with such an unhealthy, hate-conducive environment. Obviously, you knew having to work with a cheater and having to face him for at least six days a week wasn’t going to do you any good. Hence, your moving to Seoul to officially pursue your fellowship at Woocheon Medical City. What you never expected though, was Taehyung coming all the way from Daegu to sit in with Woocheon’s internal conferences.

For what? Why was he here? What reason does he have to suddenly show up like this?

Whatever his business here was absolutely none of yours, and you promised yourself you were going to be the last person to concern yourself with such.

“Any further questions?”

You see Taehyung’s hand raise hesitantly, but retracts it quickly as another raises his hand. As you address the inquiry, you still feel Taehyung’s gaze locked on yours. Nobody dares to ask another question, not wanting to prolong the useless conference any longer. Thankfully, the hospital’s chairman ends the meeting shortly after that.

As you pack your things up while the rest of the crowd files out of the room, you feel someone approach you. In fact, you feel two - with both of the presences extremely familiar. When you look up from your desk, you see Taehyung and Chairman Jung Hoseok nearing the podium you stood behind from.

Taehyung lets the chairman approach you first. Good, at least the man still has a little bit of dignity left in him. “Dr. _______, great presentation today,” Hoseok applauds, “You are a blessing to this hospital,” the chairman adds, placing a hand on the small of your back.

“All in a day’s work, Chairman Jung,” you give the man a warm smile. Taehyung notices the small gesture and diverts his gaze quickly, as if he was caught watching something private. You smile inwardly, wanting to drop as many hints as possible to let the blonde-haired man he isn't welcome here.

The chairman finally takes notice of his presence as he turns around, much to your dismay. “Ah! Dr. Kim Taehyung! I wasn’t informed of your arrival… anyways, welcome to The Woocheon Medical City and may I introduce to you one of our best cardiology consultants here…”

“Dr. __________, of course.” A wide smile forms on Taehyung’s lips, reaching out his hand for a handshake. You hesitate for a split-second - torn between not wanting to be within arm’s reach of your traitorous ex-boyfriend, or maintaining your usual professional demeanor. Maybe it’s best for you to go with the latter, and pretend you two are meeting for the first time.

“We were colleagues back in Daegu Medical Center.”

Or maybe not.

Hoseok’s secretary comes over just in time, informing him of a friend who wishes to meet him outside as well as the rest of the day’s schedule. “Oh, guess I’ll have to meet that one then,” Hoseok says, turning to the both of you. “Well, I’ll have to leave you both for a moment. I’ll see you both around.” With a short wave, the chairman leaves the two of you to “catch up”.

“_________. Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dr. Kim. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I still have plenty of things to do.” Deciding not to meet his eyes, you scan the room, sending a silent plea to the last doctor who was getting ready to leave, wishing that he won’t leave you alone with this man.

Taehyung blocks your sight with his body. Clenching your jaw, you tilt your head at him, waiting on what he has to say now. “Come back to me, please…” A scoff escapes your lips as you roll your eyes at Taehyung.

“I’d even beg on my knees, _______. I’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“You on your knees?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I am a changed man.”

“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung.”

“By all means, ________, please.” Rolling your eyes at your two-timing ex, you continue packing up, making sure you won't forget anything else on the desk. Funny how he can even extract innuendos from your display of hatred. At this point, Taehyung had already rounded the table and is now standing beside you.

You figure he’s fiddling with the projector (for all you care), that is, until you feel his warm breath fanning against your nape. His close proximity instantly gives you a chill and before you can turn to face him, he already has you trapped between his body and the podium.

Taehyung can't hide the smirk that graces his lips when he sees you gulp. Fueled by your reaction, he proceeds to reach for the clicker by the opposite end of the desk, bending you a little bit forward, all the while pressing his erection against your ass.

When he feels you hold your breath in, it only spurs him on, slowly grinding against you. “T-Tae…” you whisper out brokenly, weakly pushing away his firm hold on your waist. “You’re not…” All coherent thoughts get drained from your head when he takes your breasts in his hands, kneading them gently through your shirt, “...s-supposed to do….”

The door opens all of a sudden and the janitor enters, holding a plastic roll in his hands. Taehyung abruptly takes his hands off you, placing them inside his pockets instead. Thankfully, the janitor only takes notice of you and Taehyung’s presence after checking the trash bin by the last row and not when the latter had his hands all over you. “Oh, sorry Doc! I thought everybody had left already. I’ll just come back later.” Bowing once in your direction, he leaves quickly just as he had arrived.

As you turn around to confront Taehyung about his brazen behavior, he’s already there, suddenly connecting his lips with yours. Nearly loosing your footing at the unexpected action, Taehyung instinctively places his hands on your back, pushing you further towards him. You place your palms against his chest, not wanting to get scandalized by making out with a guest. “Taehyung…”

The blonde-haired man pulls away from the kiss, only to attach his lips on that certain spot on your neck that ultimately gets you weak in the knees. ‘Does he remember?’ You think, mind getting hazy over the feeling of his pliant mouth on your skin after all these years. Then again, your mind betrays you with the vivid image of him fucking your friend in your very room – inside the same apartment you shared with that friend he cheated on you with.

Your judgment gets clouded once more as he fumbles with your shirt, unbuttoning the first one – enough to leave a hickey just above the valley of your breast. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth to hold in the moan the threatens to escape your mouth, your fist tightens around the fabric of his collar.

Sliding the swiveling chair from underneath, Taehyung pushes you down onto the cushion of the seat. As he kneels to the ground, your heart beats rapidly in your chest, the anticipation causing to form a few beads of sweat by your hairline. Pleasure shoots through your core as he hikes your skirt up, rubbing his hands all over your thighs.

Having him touch you like this after so many years ignited that fire inside you once more, the almost foreign feeling ultimately driving you close to madness.

Fuck, you missed this. Not him. Not Taehyung. Whatever thing this was with Taehyung that was so deliriously enticing: this magnetizing aura that drew everyone to him without him having to even try. Unfortunately for you, it had also drawn unwanted attention from perpetually thirsty women. You missed these feverish kisses, featherlight touches that sent electricity pulsing through your veins.

You repeat the phrase in your head like a fervent prayer. You miss the idea of this Taehyung, the Taehyung that ravished you on a regular basis, like you were the irresistible flame to the metaphorical moth that was him.

“Tell me to stop, baby, and I will,” Taehyung rasps, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“No panties? Still my naughty little slut I see,” Taehyung remarks, as he sees your naked core. It’s shameful how you’re embarrassingly wet within a short period of time, but you no longer put much thought on it, especially with a handsome man like Taehyung on his knees for you.

With dilated pupils, Taehyung looks up and you knew you had both reminisced the time this same scenario happened in his office at DMC. The infamous surgeon draws you out of your reverie as he plants kisses along the expanse of your thigh.

Urgently wanting to fully express his intentions, Taehyung wastes no time, bunching up your skirt by your hips and diving in to flatten his tongue against your wet core. You gasp at the contact and you practically feel him smile at your responsiveness.

Taehyung starts with a slow pace, letting his tongue swirl all over your cunt. “Oh!” you breath out when he flicks your nether bud with his tongue. Taehyung keeps your legs apart with left hand while he dips a finger between your folds with the other. As you shudder at the sensation, Taehyung continues his ministrations, pushing his finger in, reveling in the way your walls clench around his digit.

“You’re still so tight after all these years,” the man says, diving in once more as he familiarizes himself once more of your addictive essence, licking and sucking at your core for all its worth like it’s his last day on the planet.

Just as you were about to climax, three knocks on the door resonate throughout the empty room, and as you push your thighs together and signaling Taehyung to keep quiet underneath the table, the door opens one more time and the chairman’s head pokes through the side, eyes scanning the room to look for you. Fixing your appearance discreetly, you put on a smile on your face, ignoring the frustration that came with not being able to orgasm properly.

“Wanna go grab lunch with me, sweetheart?”

“Sure. I’ll be out in a few, babe. Just… gotta go through some emails,” comes your breathless answer. “Okay darling. I’ll be waiting for you by my office.” When you feel Taehyung’s fingers start to dance back up along your legs, you swat them away, the realization of your unfaithful acts finally dawning on you.

“Stop it Taehyung and get up from there,” you tell him, pulling down your silk skirt that’s shamelessly bunched up around your hips. As you tame the creases on your skirt, the light above you hits the rock on your fourth finger. The gleam hits your eyes perfectly, the diamond on your engagement ring seemingly mocking you of your infidelity.

For the sake of your sanity, you don’t say another word to Taehyung who also had his eyes trained on your ring. Quickly you grab your things off the desk, not sparing your dejected ex-boyfriend a look. As you reach the door, you rest your head on the hard plastic, “I’m happy now, Taehyung. Please respect that.” With a sigh, you open the door, not daring to take a look back.

Taehyung nods silently, looking away from your figure as a tear rolls down his cheek, regret and longingness weighing on him heavily.

#bts smut #taehyung smut #bangtanhq #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #btsguild #btsghostie #ksmutclub #paralumanplaylist #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader

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words-for-holland · 4 years

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Happier (5) | T.H.

Summary: Harry and Harrison made it to New York without witnesses. One secret is revealed and a relationship could be broken up for good. What will the future hold for Y/N and Tom?

A/N: Everybody buckle up and grab your tissues, we’re in for a bumpy ride. Lemme know how you feel after this! Was it what you expected??

Guilt

It’s one thing to keep a secrets, but it’s another thing when you’re hiding it from the people you love. For Kate, she was becoming consumed in her own guilt as each day passed. Everyday her breaths would shorten, her heartbeat quicken, and her conscience relentlessy invading her inner thoughts. Kate tried to find all the possibilities to avoid the truth, and make everyone happy...but it didnt matter. One way or another, someone was going to get hurt.

Kate stood in front of Harrison and Harry at her doorstep. While she was relieved and excited to see them, a slight tinge of fear was present. “How are you going to find out the truth?” She asks calmly as Harrison and Harry made their way into the apartment. Kate picked up her phone, checking for an message. None showed up.

“Well, we might have found something. A clue maybe, but we’re not sure.” Harry explained as he picked up his macbook, turning it on.

“Is Y/N here?” Harrison asked, and as if on cue she appeared, heavy bags under her eyes.

The moment Y/N laid eyes on the two, she couldn’t believe it. Her hands quickly rubbing the sleep from her eyes, almost convinced it was a dream. “What? Harry? Harrison? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N excitedly asks. She made her way towards the boys giving them a long awaited hug. “I missed you guys.” She whispers.

“We want to help you.” Harrison says as he pulled away. “The unknown number? We might have an idea.”

Y/N looked at them suspiciously, checking her phone for cryptic messages. “Does anyone know you’re here?”

They both shook their head. “We didn’t tell anyone back home. As far as anyone knows, Harrison and I are going on a 3 day hike with little reception.” Harry reassured her with his boyish smile. Y/N look at him with admiration. He may not look like his brother, but his tone had Tom written all over it.

“Great. Just make sure your location is off on your phones..they could be watching us.” Kate warned as she checked her phone again.

Harrison looked at Kate with sympathy. In the years he’s known her because of Y/N and Tom’s relationship, she always seemed to be the sweetest most loyal friend out there. He was happy that Y/N had someone like Kate in her life. Not to mention it was also a plus that she was fairly pretty, even with the worry written all over face, she was still beautiful to Harrison.

“Hey.” Harrison spoke out for Kate’s attention. “We’re gonna figure this out. I promise.” While Kate nodded, she silently knew that this was not going to end well.”

“Wait...so Tom? Is he—?” Y/N asks the boys with anticipation.

Harrison knowing, exactly what Y/N was asking before she could even finished answered swiftly. “No! Of course not!” He laughs as if it was the silliest thing to answer. “Y/N, Tom loves you. He still does.”

“But the pictures..”

“Was a PR stunt set by Natalie’s publicists.” Harrison finished. “He’s doing a project that Natalie somehow got involved in, and they wanted a PR relationship to sell it. He didn’t want to at first, but then they showed him pictures of you and some div.”

“Hey he’s not some div! Matt’s a good guy.” Y/N defends. “Sweet actually, but I turned him down at the end of it. We’re just friends.”

Then it clicked. “Wait. You said that Tom saw the pictures?” Y/N asked trying to piece it together. “How did he get pictures?”

Harry and Harrison took a moment to think it through. “Well...Natalie’s publicist showed it to Tom.” Harry answered.

“But we don’t know where she got the pictures from.” Harrison added. “My money was on Natalie...still is.”

“Cmon mate. There’s no way she could have gotten pictures in New York and suddenly fly back to London.”

Kate slowly made her way to her own room, no longer wanting to be part of the conversation. They were getting too suspicious, and the more they questioned, the more nervous she got.

“Well maybe the unknown number sent it.” Harry said as he continued to be deep in his thoughts. “Or they found out on that fan account you found Harrison.”

“Wait? Fan account? They know?!” Y/N freaked out. Three years into making sure she was kept in the shadows, and it went all down the drain. If it there were fan accounts then it would only make it harder to finding out who really did sabotage her relationship. Let alone everyone’s lives.

“We don’t know yet, but Harrison found a fan account that was posting about Tom and you. Not together at least, but seperately. The weird part is...barely few people follow it, so we’re not sure what it means.” Harry explained, as he tried to pull up the account. “Oh no.”

“What? What do you mean ‘Oh no’?” Harrison panicked.

“I cant find the account.” Harrison said as he tried to pull it up, but the page disappeared.

In the nick of time, a message was sent to all three of them.

Unknown

Looks like you’re back to square 1 ❤️

“Shit! How did they know?” Harrison questioned in anger. “We were this close!”

“It’s okay Harrison. I appreciate that you guys tried, but it’s a lost cause.” Y/N consoled him, rubbing his shoulder.

“It won’t be. We’ll find another way.” Harry encouraged as he hugged them both. “By the way, where’s Kate gone?”

All three looked up to notice she was missing. Y/N waved it off, assuming it was just one of those days. “She probably went to bed early. Kate gets tired easily, nowadays. It might be because of her new job on top of watching out for me. Its a lot to take on for a person.”

The reasoning seemed valid enough Harrison and Harry. Plus it was Kate they were talking about, she always had Y/N’s back from day one, she wouldnt blackmail any of them or ruin Y/N and Tom’s relationship..right?

Late in the night, Harrison had trouble sleeping because of the jetlag. Since it only was a medicore 2 bedroom apartment, Harrison and Harry slept in the living room on the sofa bed. Luckily it was big enough for the both them and they didnt have to resort to cuddling. Harrison lied on his back as he looked out to the NYC view, thinking about everything and nothing at all. He smiled, thinking about it all. For a very serious couple, a lot of shit has gone down and yet here he was with trying to save it. He cared about the two so deeply, they were his family and family never turns their back on the other.

Then he heard something, whispers coming from the hall. Harrison didn’t dare to make a move but he trained his ears to listen carefully at the voice.

“Im telling you they are getting suspicious.” The voice whispered into the phone. It sounded like Kate’s and Harrison continued to listen in.

“No.No. I sent the damn pictures to you for a reason. No one told me that they would come here. I wasn’t prepared for that.” Kate continues as she paces in the corner.

Pictures? Harrison was awake more than ever, as he quickly shook Harry, and told him to stay quiet. They continued to listen.

“Look I did everything I was told to do. She got what she wanted, now —” Kate stopped in her tracks as she saw Harry and Harrison in front of her. Immediately she dropped the call, her lips moving, unable to find the words.

“How could you?” Harry said his brown eyes glaring at at the girl who just betrayed her best friend. “She was your best friend! How could you?!” He spoke louder.

Kate tried her best to quiet them down, but there was the point. She knew this day would come. “You don’t understand.” Kate whispers, looking at the ground. “I was only doing this to protect Y/N.”

“Protect Y/N? Blackmailing her? Sending pictures of her and a guy to Tom, so he would turn against her? That’s protecting her?” Harrison questioned, hurt by her actions. If he was hurt, then surely It would hurt Y/N far worse.

Y/N comes out of her room as she sees the three gather together, glaring at each other. “Hey..w-what’s going in?” She asks nervously.

“Why don’t you tell her Kate?” Harry spits out as he gestures to Y/N. Kate looks into her best friend’s eyes tears welling up. Y/N had fear struck into her face, afraid of what she had to say.

“I’m so sorry.” She cries. “I didn’t have a choice. She would have ruined our friendship if I did.”

“Kate. What.Did.You.Do?” Y/N asks, emphasizing each word to the question.

Kate shook her head as she let out a deep sigh. “Im the reason your pictured with Matt got out Tom.”

Y/N shook her head, tears streaming. She didn’t want to believe it. “Please tell me you’re lying.”

“Im sorry Y/N. I swear I didnt mean for this to get out of hand. I was threatened that if I didn share them, then they would say something that could ruin our friendship..and...I didnt want that to happen.” Kate frantically explains, sobbing at her no good explanation.

Y/N shook her head, her face switching from sadness to anger. “Looks like you didn’t need them to ruin it at all for you. Now you’re gonna tell me what you know and then Im packing my stuff and Im moving out.”

Kate sobbed as she try to plead to her ex-bestfriend to stay. “Look I’ll tell you everything okay, but it’s not much.” She takes a deep breath before she continues. “I was the one that started the rumors and created the fan account Harry and Harrison saw.”

“Why?” Y/N asks, her disappointed face unchanging.

“I was jealous of you at the time. Y/N you had everything I could have ever wanted in my life. A job, a boyfriend that doesn’t leave you, a family that loves you, and the fame which you didn’t even want to accept with open arms. You were always a step ahead of me at something and I was tired of it. So when you told me you felt uneasy about Natalie when she first moved in, I sold that info online and twisted the story so that it looked like Tom liked Natalie and they were a potential couple.”

“Oh my god.” Harrison said as he let his head down. “You made Natalie think that Tom was in love with her secretly thats why she had become so persistant.”

Kate slowly nodded as she took another breath. “As for the fan accounts I can’t tell you much because I was just asked to create them by the Unknown number.”

“Wait so you’re not the unknown number?” Harry asked confused.

Kate shook her head. “I don’t who it is. Im just a vicitim as much as you guys are.”

“No cut that bullshit. It’s because of you that all of our lives are a mess. It’s because of you that I had to lose the most important thing in my life. So don’t say you’re a fucking victim when all you really did was try to save your own ass.” Y/N yelled.

“You didn’t have to if you were so confident in your relationship with Tom.” She spat back.

“I love Tom with all my heart, but I was referring my best friend. I never want to see you again.” Y/N states, emotionless. No one had ever seen Y/N like this. In fact no one had ever seen her mad as she was on this very day. The day she lost her best friend.

Y/N went to her room to quickly gather her belongings, stuffing them back in the bag. Her phone was ringing and she didnt hesitate to pick it up.

“Tom...” she answers, holding back her sobs.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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sebspocketsquare · 4 years

Text

Quarantine: 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (online)

A/N: Heya guys! Here’s part 4! Its extra long like i promised. Let me know what you think! part 5 is in the works :) -T

Warnings: Flirting, language, quarantine, fear, crying, feels, mentions of a breakin

It’s pouring rain.

You’re in shock.

Frozen in place.

You’re not even sure what to think as you stare at your front door.

You’d locked it, right? You’d remembered to do that?

Searching your memories, you find that yes, you did lock it… which could only mean one thing.

Mind racing, the bags you’d toted home from the grocery store fall from your grasp to the cold concrete below, and you don’t even flinch at the sound that was surely your eggs cracking.

“But..” The word comes out as more of a breath, and that’s when you notice that tears are already stinging the ridges of your eyes.

It takes another few minutes of ragged breathing before you come to your senses and shakily fish your phone out of your pocket, dialing 911.

They answer on the second ring, and the dispatch operator sounds as stressed as you feel.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

You suddenly find yourself questioning if this really is an emergency, but right yourself almost immediately. Someone just broke into your apartment. A stranger. A criminal.

Yes, it was an emergency.

“I, um.. I just got home from the store, and my-my apartment door is open, I.. I think someone broke in while i was gone.”

You hear her typing before she responds to you, “Okay ma’am, I’m going to ask you not to enter the residence and stay away from the front door in case someone is still inside. Can you give me your address? I’ll have an officer with you in less than ten minutes.”

You exchange the information she needs with a trembling voice, and she asks if you’d like to stay on the line with her until the authorities arrive.

You’ve never agreed to anything so fast. Even if you didn’t speak, at least she’d be there if something else were to happen.

She tells you that there have been five other break ins in your area in the last two weeks, and that she’s sorry it’s happening to you, too.

You’re too numb to murmur anything other than a “thank you.”

It takes approximately 8 minutes for a patrol car to arrive with two officers inside.

They have you wait outside as they enter your apartment, and the next fifteen minutes of their searching seems as if it goes on forever.

As you’re waiting, your phone chirps.

A new IM from J.

[Sarge:] Getting worried over here, doll.. You home safe and sound yet?

Just reading the message has more tears welling in your eyes.

[clairv0yant:] Not exactly…

The moment you press send, both of the officers come out onto your porch with looks that can only be described as sympathy.

“Miss? We’d like you to come inside, please.. The coast is clear, but we need you to file a full report on what’s been taken.”

His words open a gaping hole in your stomach and you suddenly feel nauseated.

What’s been taken?

You don’t notice how your phone vibrates repeatedly in your pocket, desperate messages trying to reach you.

It takes 45 minutes to file the report with the police, to account for everything that’s missing.

They took the tower to your computer, the screen, the mouse and the keyboard. Your TV is missing, along with the bottles of vodka you’d kept in your freezer. The jar that contained your ‘vacation’ savings had been taken from your bedroom, along with your tablet and phone charger. They’d even gone as far as to steal the two packs of toilet paper and cleaners from under your bathroom sink. They broke every dish in your cupboard, glass was scattered on every bit of your floor, but they managed to completely overlook the small stash of twenties you kept in your underwear drawer.

The officers reiterate what the dispatch lady had told you: you weren’t the only one this had happened to recently, and they were sorry this had happened to you. They’d check in on you for the next couple days, and let you know if they find the people responsible.

There wasn’t much more that could be done.

Once they leave you lock the door, though that doesn’t make you feel safe anymore.

That hadn’t been enough before, what would stop them from doing it again?

You lean your back against it, before letting out a sob and falling to the floor.

Your fingers tangle in the roots of your hair and you tug in frustration as you cry.

Why you? Why now?

You weren’t working, the little bit of savings you did have had to be used to pay bills and buy groceries. You had no idea when you’d be allowed back to your job, and you had no one to rely on to help you.

What were you supposed to do now?

Your phone chirps from your pocket again, and when you bring it to eye level, you notice you have 18 missed messages.

[Sarge:] What do you mean?

[Sarge:] Doll, please answer me.

[Sarge:] Clair, you’re scaring me…

[Sarge:] At least let me know you’re okay.

[Sarge:] Clair, please?

[Sarge:] Say something, anything..

[Sarge:] Fuck..

[Sarge:] I’m such an idiot for letting you go out without getting your phone number or address

[Sarge:] Please let me know you’re fine

[Sarge:] Tell me I’m overreacting

[Sarge:] Clair..?

[Sarge:] I’m freaking out over here

[Sarge:] Baby, you’re scaring me..

[Sarge:] Answer me

[Sarge:] I’m begging you

[Sarge:] Just send me a fucking smiley face, anything

[Sarge:] just let me know you’re alive

[Sarge:] Just.. call me, please..

The last message included a phone number.

Your thumb hovers over the assortment of digits as you take in a shuddering breath. You didn’t want to call and have him hear you like this. You’d always imagined the first time you spoke on the phone would be full of awkward giggles and flirty compliments given back and forth.

Not you on the verge of breaking.

Your thumb finally presses the numbers, and as if to question your choices, a message pops up on your screen: ‘Calling.. Are you sure you want to do this?’

You hit yes without a second thought.

The line rings once before the person at the other end answers.

“Clair?”

You’re too emotionally devastated to appreciate the timbre of his voice, the concern laced in the first word you’ve ever physically heard him say.

“Please, say something..”

He’s begging at this point, and there’s a quake in his words that weighs down your already heavy heart.

“I-It’s me.”

The whisper has him letting out a sigh of relief before he speaks again.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.”

That’s when you break.

You tell him everything through hiccups and sobs.

When you’ve finished with your story, he releases another sigh before speaking again.

“Baby, you gotta breathe. I know it’s hard, but take a couple deep breaths for me okay? Can you do that?”

You follow his instruction, taking a few deep breaths in, and releasing them just as slow.

“There you go.. I’m gonna take care of this, okay? I’m gonna take care of you. Don’t worry about a thing.”

You’re so entranced in your breathing that you almost agree to his words blindly. Luckily, you catch yourself.

“What.. What do you mean, J?”

“Let me help you, Clair, I.. please.”

You sit in silence for a moment or two before he speaks again.

“I know you well enough by this point to know you’re too stubborn to let me send you money, but.. Let me replace your things. Let me send you some groceries. Let me pay for a goddamn security system… Please.”

You knew he was kind. That was one of the first things he’d let you see of himself.. But this? This was different. Nobody just offers to do this for someone they haven’t even met.

“J, I.. I can’t.. That’s too much.. You don’t even know me..”

He sighs yet again, but you can tell this one is out of frustration.

“Clair, please. I am literally begging you to let me help you, I.. I’m doing this because I care about you..”

Contemplating in silence, your eyes begin to water again.

What choice did you have?

You didn’t have the money to replace your things.

You’d barely have enough to replace the groceries you’d just ruined in the rain, and you certainly couldn’t afford a security system.

“J, I.. I can’t pay you back..”

“That is literally the least of my worries. I just want you safe. Please. I can have someone at your place tomorrow morning to install the system. The replacement for your computer might take a little longer, but I’ll get it to you as soon as i can, just.. Let me do this. I want to.”

Before you know what’s happened, you hear yourself agreeing to his wishes and giving him your address.

“You live in the city?” There’s surprise in his voice that you don’t miss.

“You’re closer than I expected..”

Before you can ask him what he means, he’s speaking again.

“I have a friend, I’ll text him now and see the earliest he can come by tomorrow, okay? You can trust him, he’s a good guy. Do you have a spare phone charger for the night?”

You inform him of the one you always carry in your purse and that seems to ease the tension in his voice.

“Clair?”

“Yeah, J..?”

“I’m sorry this is how our first phone conversation had to go, I.. I pictured it differently in my head..”

You let out a sad laugh, “I know what you mean.. I’m sorry too.”

“But..” another sigh, “I’m not sorry I finally got to hear your voice.”

“I’m not sorry either..”

You swear you hear him lick his lips, just before he speaks again, “Doll, my friend is calling me.. can I call you back?”

You take a look at the mess around your apartment before thinking that it might actually be for the best if you get off the phone.

“I should probably get off here and clean up all this glass anyway..”

He hums softly, “Call me when you’ve finished? I.. I just wanna know you’re safe.”

It was endearing how worried he was about you.

You also knew it was with good reason.

“Of course. I’ll call you back in a little bit. Bye, J.. and.. thank you.”

“Anything for you, Doll.. I’ll talk to you soon.”

HIM

The moment she ends the call, I slam my fist down on my desk. She was so close, so fucking close, and yet so far.

I couldn’t just show up, hold her and comfort her and protect her. It was too soon for that, plus with the required social distancing.. I don’t even think she’d trust me.

Sam’s voice breaks my train of thought.

“What’s up man, I just got your text?”

He’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom, still dressed in his sweats from the day before.

I scoff at the sight, “One, you need to shower and change, dude. Two… I need you to do me a favor..”

He snickers and smirks, “This have anything to do with this girl you’ve been texting? Need me to track down some selfies for you to stare at?”

Had it been any other night, I might’ve entertained the idea of that, but instead I let out a quiet groan, “No, I… her apartment got ransacked today.. I need you to go over and install a security system for her.”

The smile falls from his face and his eyebrows raise. “Wait, what? She lives close? Why don’t you go?”

I shake my head, eyes falling to my left hand. The vibranium appendage almost glitters under the light of my computer screen, and when he follows my gaze he understands. “She doesn’t know yet.. who you are.”

I shake my head, and it’s his turn to sigh. “Yeah, man.. I can do that for you. Is she.. is she okay?”

I shrug, staring at my phone screen and willing her to call me back, “I.. I have no idea, man.. hearing her cry just now..” I have to pause and clear the emotion from my throat.

“This quarantine is killing me.. all I wanted to do was go to her, hold her, and I—“ I pause again, cheeks flooding with warmth as I realize how vulnerable I just sounded.

“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” He wonders, cocking his head to the side with a small smile.

The heat in my cheeks burns hotter as I nod slightly.

“Just give me the address. I’ll make sure she’s got a system as good as ours.”

Just hearing him say that puts me at ease. I’d know her comings and goings, where she was in the apartment and if anyone was even close to entering.

Stalkerish? Maybe a little, but..

If I couldn’t be there in person to protect her, this would be the next best thing.

HER

Aside from the missing appliances, you can barely tell what took place in your apartment today.

You’d swept every room, scrubbed every surface.

It might even be the cleanest the apartment had been since you moved in.

J texted you earlier, asking for a list of your missing belongings and an idea for groceries.. you were a bit reluctant at first, but eventually gave in and handed over the information.

You pushed your couch behind your front door out of paranoia before taking a shower, and now you sat on the edge of your bed in silence.

It was hard not to let your mind wander to a dark place, to think of what you must’ve done to deserve this.

Tears are starting to return to your eyes, just as your phone begins to ring again.

It’s J, of course.

“Hello?”

“Hey, doll.. how are you feeling?”

You’re calmed down enough to appreciate his voice now. The slight drawl to it, the sound of your nickname leaving his lips. It’s deep and warm and, god, you just wanted to wrap yourself in it and stay there forever.

“I.. I’m okay I guess.. it’s weird, y’know?”

“I’m sure.. I’m sorry you had to go through this.. I wish..” He pauses and you find yourself rather curious as to what he was going to say.

“You wish what, J?”

He hums before he finishes his thought, “I wish I could hold you, Clair.. Make you feel safe. Protect you.”

He’s making you blush, and it’s different than all the other times he’s done so through text.

Actually hearing him say it brought it to a whole other level.

“Would that be alright?”

You can tell he’s second guessing his confession, and his timid behavior makes you smile.

“I would love that.. If only that was allowed right now..”

This quarantine was really messing things up for you. In more ways than one.

“I’d break the law for you, just say the word.”

You laugh at the thought, but you know he’s at least a little serious.

“Have you um.. ever really thought about it?”

He hums again, and you find you’re addicted to the sound. “It’s embarrassing how much I’ve thought about it.. how about you, sweetheart? You ever think about me holdin’ you?”

The heat is back in your cheeks and you bite your lip to hold back the grin that’s taken over your entire face. “I.. yes. I have. I’m thinking about it right now, actually..”

Laying back on your bed, you pull a spare pillow to your chest and hug it tightly.

“What are you doin’ over there? Laying in bed? Do me a favor…”

It’s your turn to hum, and he chuckles.

“You got any extra pillows? Hug one of ‘em close, and close your eyes.. Just imagine it’s me, holding you to my chest… if you concentrate hard enough, maybe you can hear my heartbeat.. I’m sure it’d be goin’ crazy from being so close to you..”

You do as he asks, sighing happily into the phone. “Mine would be too.. it already is.”

You hear soft rustling from his end of the call, and you’re sure he’s settling in for the night too.

“Just wanna hold you.. kiss your forehead, ‘cause I remember you saying how much you like that.. Tell you how special you are to me..”

He’s making your heart beat wildly in your ribcage, and for some reason, tears trickle from the corner of your eye.

“You okay over there, baby?”

His new name for you was quickly becoming a new favorite.

“Yeah, it’s just.. you’re too good to me, you know that?”

“I’m the perfect amount of good to you, doll.. you deserve the whole world, and I’ll do my best to give that to ya.”

He’s making you forget the events of the day with each moment that passes, replacing them with sweet memories instead.

“J.. I adore you.”

“Not as much as I adore you, Clair.”

That night, you’re lulled to sleep by the sound of his breathing.

TAGS: (I wasnt sure who to tag, so if you dont want to be, I’m sorry!! Just trying to get this out there. ALSO if you wanna be tagged INBOX ME! I tend to miss people in the tags :( also some tags don’t work, so i’ve removed them if they dont. Sorry about that! ).

@mindingmyownbusiness@plumfondler@buckybarnesappreciationsociety@loricameback@tinaferraldo@geminimoonbeamx@preserumsteverogers@moderapoppins@lowkeysebby@buckyshattergirl@jayattemptstoruletheworld@the-observant-fangirl@moondancewrites@moonbeambucky@trinityjadec@stevieang@bionic-buckyb@eyecandybarnes@propertyofpoeandbucky@promarvelfangirl@ballyhoobarnes@bucky-plums-barnes@cate-lynne@witchymarvelspacecase@imaginingbucky@theimpossibleg1rl @wonderlandmind4@buckysthing@formulafun@curvybihufflepuff@fanficsformarvelkillme@shadyskit@lostinthoughtsandfeelings@reading--mermaid@fuckmestan@siliverin@verygraphicink@sallyp-53@thatsbucknasty@steadyphantomcat@booktease21@drayshadow@theperditioncrasher@mmyepic@feelmyroarrrr@alien-beans@heartsaved@sideeffectsofyou@dreamingofonceuponatime@just-a-littlebit-of-everything@bluerorjhan@tarynsnotokay@jamdropx35@pinknerdpanda @starkrobb @marvelgirl7 @unscriptedtimetraveler @fangeekkk @wonderlandmind4 @pinkisokay @mrsdaamneron @rynabarnesrogers @wish-i-had-something-better @stanning-seb-stan

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #online au #quarantine #sebspocketsquare #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky #bucky barnes

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

Text

Part One

An AU where All Might is dead and villains run wild, and heroes have gone into Hiding. Shigaraki finds a tiger running around causing problems and takes it back to the League only for it to turn into a little girl with no memories.

Spinner Logs

September 1st

12 PM

Echo won't leave Boss’s side for any reason. I think she imprinted on him or something. Dabi thinks its funny because she literally follows him everywhere around the hideout. All For One thinks its bothersome i i think, he pulled them both into a room to talk to them about something. Don't know what.

Boss has not said anything to Echo about her following him. She grabs hold of his shirt when he walks away to do something, me and Dabi were dumbfounded when we saw it.

Mr Compress should be back soon, i think he was scoping out the Post All Might scene or something. I cant wait for him to meet Echo i think he will like her.

It's my turn to go get food I guess. I wonder what kids eat . That's all i've got for now. 🦎

Dabi Logs

September 1st

1Pm

Lizard you really should learn to hide things better, this little log book you have of Echo is cute. I guess ill clue you in on what's going on while you get food, better have my ramen.

After you left Boss told me he was going to play some kind of online game or whatever as if I cared to know. The pipsqueak was going to follow him to his room but AFO grabbed her and she freaked out .

Something about needing to focus on the mission , i don't know of any mission. Boss told us to lay low for a while. Echo started crying, it was hard to listen if i'm being honest. Boss did not do anything, AFO told Boss to go do whatever he was going to do and he just left.

I can kind of hear AFO talking to Echo but its hard to hear over her sobbing. The hideout has never been this loud before.

Well imma go outside for a cigarette i guess , it's quiet outside. Till next time, Lizard🔥

Spinner Logs

September 1St

2:30PM

Dammit Dabi..

Well whatever , at least he logged about Echo. This was at 1pm? I just got back and she's still crying..where's Boss? His room? He can hear it right?

What does All For One want to talk about so bad? Shes a kid. I hope he's not planning to turn her into a weapon. I hope she calms down soon..im going to unpack this food.

Thats all ive got for now🦎

Spinner Logs

September 1st

7PM

Echo calmed down a half hour later when AFO finally let her go. I heard a door open and then slam shut it sounded like Boss’s door so Echo must have gone in there.

I got Dabis damn ramen he loves so much, my favorite snacks along with Mr Compress’s sushi and Boss’s foods he likes. I ended up getting cereal for Echo, i got the one with the bird on it. I never thought the hardest decision of my life would be between a bird and a caveman on a box of cereal.

AFO asked me if i liked going to get food and i was a little shocked he even talked to me. I was not sure how to answer him but i don't think he cared for my answer anyway because he said he was going out.

The hideout was calmer once he left, Dabi came back as well to scope out the food, he smelled like a pack of smokes. I like Dabi, hes easy to talk to , well for me he is.

Mr Compress came back around 6. I'm relieved he's okay. Boss emerged from his room finally to greet him, with Echo behind him peeking over his leg at Mr Compress. The look he had was priceless to everyone.

The first thing he asked was if Boss had a secret love child. Boss chuckled and Echo hid behind his leg while Boss explained the situation to his friend.

Dabi made ramen at some point at the bar, Boss and Mr Compress moved to the couches to talk , Echo right next to him. He explained AFO would be around a lot and Echos quirk, he called it Morph.

All we really know is Echo can turn into a tiger whenever she wants. Its an interesting quirk to say the least.

Mr Compress tried to make light of the conversation by showing Echo a card trick . She looked like she enjoyed it, Mr Compress always gave me the impression he was good with kids.

Echo was dozing off on Boss’s arm while he played his switch. She's so cute to me, it looked like she had never seen a Switch before too, her eyes were huge with interest, Boss even explained the game to her. Its nice seeing him so calm.

Mr Compress told me about the scene outside and I told him my food adventure. Mr Compress told me The Pro Heroes are in hiding, even Endeavour. The rank system for Heroes is no more, UA is locked down for who knows how long and Villains are running around free. My experience was about the same. No Pros, no Quirkless, only villains. Oh well, free food.

That's all ive got for now. Im sleepy 🦎

Shigaraki Logs

September 1ST

1PM

What am I going to do with you two idiots?

AFO took Echo away to talk to her I guess. I felt weird watching her cry. Why did i feel weird? AFO is great. I don't understand.

I could not focus on my game with her crying so i just stared at the screen listening. She follows me around constantly for whatever reason , even grabs onto my shirt like a lost puppy. I don't understand.

She's still crying and I want to go comfort her. What's wrong with me? I should be thinking about ruling the world. Its mine now. But all i can focus on right now is telling Echo everything will be okay. I don't understand.

The crying stopped and I heard my door open and slam shut. Echo ran over to me and before I could say anything she climbed onto my lap sobbing. My arm was around her before I even realized I did it. I don't understand.

She told me AFO was scary and she did not want to do jobs for him or train. It was confusing because AFO is not scary, hes great. I tried to tell her this and she shook her head disagreeing. I don't understand.

Mr Compress is back and Spinner got food. Of course Dabi is eating his ramen.

I was amused over Mr Compress’s little joke. Haha. Hes lucky hes a vital member of this League. It was good to catch up on how things were outside and with him. From what he said everything was up for grabs and those dirty Pros were all gone or hiding.

I wonder when AFO is coming back, Echo really likes my switch. Her eyes follow everything that moves like a cat. Her quirk is an interesting one that's for sure. Im curious if her tiger will get bigger as she grows.

Echo fell asleep on my arm so i brought her to my room to put her to sleep. She woke up though once i set her down on my bed asking me to stay and tell her a story. Do I look like I know a kids bedtime story?

I thought of something of course, after a minute of thinking. She looked like she enjoyed it. I decided to stay till she actually fell asleep. Only one up right now was Dabi anyway.

Echo called me father. I dont understand.

Till whenever, i guess. 🐯

••

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @squeaky-ducky @thegirlwhoharnessedthelight

#tomura shigaraki fanfiction #shigaraki #spinner #league of villans #dabi #mr compress #Memories or Echo #MemoriesOfEcho

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1024

What would you say is your favorite food? Sushi. < Ahhh, this is a good one. My favorite is down to a tie: it’s either chicken curry or burgers.

What color eyes does the person you like / love have? Are they pretty? Dark brown. I’m not too sure what the second question is referring to but yeah, she and her eyes are both pretty.

What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Hi-5, omg. That show was my life in preschool and I always watched the 12 NN replay as soon as I got back home from school, back when I was still on a half-day sched. I was so hooked I remember having legit tantrums before starting Grade 1 because grade school meant full days in school and thus having to miss out on the show entirely.

Do you like Mexican food or any other foreign foods? For sure. All my favorites are Asian (Indian, Japanese, Indonesian, Chinese, etc.) but I also enjoy Italian, Mexican, Greek etc cuisines. I generally haven’t tried African cuisines but I really, really want to.

What color is the keyboard you are currently using? The keys are black with white lettering.

Do you own any of those ‘chunky’ and cute rings? Nope, not my style.

What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I saw my dad cooking up something deep-fried; it was like his own version of katsu or something, or maybe it’s fish fillet? I’m not too sure what it is yet but I’m excited and will probably eat lots of it as I skipped all my meals and have only been running on coffee and vape all day - not good.

Do you own an iPod or MP3 player? If so, when did you get it? Technically I still do. Haven’t used it since high school. I got it when I was 10 back in ‘08; I was envious of the kids in school who had iPods, so I asked my dad to buy me one even though I wasn’t super into music at the time. Not the best kid in the world.

When was the last time someone took your picture? Last Saturday when my package came. Apparently online deliveries now require your photo to be taken upon receiving your package and I think it’s for the seller to keep track of their transactions. I’m not a big fan of the new procedure, but it’s whatevs.

Would you rather write a report or type it on a computer? Type.

What color was the last jacket or hoodie you wore? Gray.

Do you receive more compliments or insults on a daily basis? Neither, really. I haven’t been talking to people a lot; and when I do it’s for work, where I receive neither compliments nor insults.

Who is the lead actress / actor from your absolute favorite movie? Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney, or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Can you recite the alphabet backward? [continued from last night] Slowly, but I’m sure I can finish it.

Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? We don’t do hotdogs with chili here. I generally don’t see chili much where I live and I wouldn’t call it a common dish.

Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? At first I thought it was, but I’m slowly realizing that it isn’t.

What would you say is your favorite cereal, if you even like it? Cookie Crisp is the only one I like. I don’t have cereal often.

When was the last time you went on vacation? Where was it? It was a quick weekend getaway to Tagaytay and then Cavite, if it counts.

How many states have you been to in your lifetime? Zero.

Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Yep, especially with Andi and Angela.

Have you ever been an outcast at your school or anywhere else? I was definitely one in early grade school, and again in Grade 6 when both my closest friends migrated in a span of six months, and I spent nearly all my lunch periods alone. Looking back on it, I’m really glad I powered through and made it here because I truly wasn’t happy at the time.

Do you own any dresses? If so, what colors are they? I have lots of sundresses and little black dresses because I was into those for a very long time at one point. Some of them are black, obviously, but I also have dresses in blue, maroon, and olive.

Would you say you drink more pop / soda than you should? I never drink soda as I’ve always felt like I spend more time complaining about how drinking it feels like burning my tongue and throat than actually enjoying it.

Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast? Water.

How many different colors has your bedroom been painted? Just one. The walls have been white ever since we moved here 12 years ago.

Do you cuss? If so, do you ever cuss in front of your parents? I’ll slip in front of them sometimes but I never get in trouble for it anymore.

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Our humor together can be raunchy sometimes but I don’t think I’d ever do this. I dunno if she wants to hear I’ve had sex with a girl either.

Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily? Yes.

What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? *In the last week, hearing about the typhoon’s effects in other cities didn’t feel good. This entire country is literally only getting by with donations from the private sector because the government isn’t doing shit for cities and families who got severely affected by the typhoon; it’s almost depressing to hear and read about.

Have you ever been in a car wreck? I’ve been in minor car accidents but it would be too much to call any of them car wrecks. They had all just been tiny bumps or thuds.

Do you have your ears pierced? If not, what do you have pierced? Yes, my mom had my earlobes pierced when I was an infant. I don’t plan on getting any more new ones as I’m not really into piercings.

Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Nope.

What is your biggest pet peeve? When people reach out first via text/IM then even if I get back to them in 5–10 seconds, it takes them a long time to get back to me. It’s especially annoying if they classify it as urgent, I drop everything to reply quickly, then they end up disappearing. Like why?

Do a lot of people understand you completely? Who does exactly? No, I like keeping a wall up.

Would you say you’re really good at cooking and baking things? Haha no. But it’s something I want to be skilled in, definitely. I’d love to be able to make the food I usually just thirst over on the internet. I’m taking baby steps, like figuring out how to make certain sandwiches, but I have a long way to go before I can consider myself any good.

How is the weather outside right this second? It’s been a little cloudy this morning but it might start to get fair seeing how I’m beginning to see the sky turn blue. I’m just hoping there won’t be too much sun, period.

Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No buildings as I live in a gated village. We have a number of trees around, but I wouldn’t call it ‘a lot.’

Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?’ No. I have that title, and I believe I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was a bit of a pack rat herself, as I’ve been told.

Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? Kinda. I don’t associate with one of my uncles because he has a terrible drinking issue that he never got to permanently fix. Whenever I see him at family gatherings he just smells like stale gin or whatever it is he drinks, and it just ruins the essence of family reunions for me. As recent as Christmas Day last year he drove drunk and crashed into a car with an entire family, but as always his ass got lucky because 1) no one in the family got hurt, and 2) said family let go of the lawsuit they were planning to file against him.

Have you ever seen That 70’s Show? Do you watch it regularly? I tried watching the first episode but genuinely could not find it entertaining for the life of me. Sorry, Mila :(

If you could choose, what decade would you rather live in? I never really think about revisiting decades - they’re already behind, so what’s the point? As bad as the 2020s have been looking, I’m okay with staying here.

How often would you say you get sick? Once a year at most.

Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? I used to wish they would die, but I don’t feel that way anymore.

Has anyone ever called you a socio-path before? I don’t think so.

When was the last time you watched a movie in theaters? December.

Have you ever moved to a completely different state before? We’ve moved to different regions before.

Do you mind it when surveys ask you really personal questions? No. Isn’t that part of the point of surveys?

When was the last time you told someone you love them? Thursday or Friday I think, when Andi said it to me first and I said it back. I wasn’t having a good day and they were just looking out.

Which one would you like more: kiss on cheek / kiss on neck? Depends on my mood. Right now a kiss on the cheek sounds nice.

Does it bother you when people steal your stuff on MySpace? This never happened to me because I had Myspace for such a short time and I never caught it at its peak. Also, how do people steal your stuff over there? That’s pretty intriguing lmao

Do you have freckles? Do you like / dislike them? I don’t have any.

Who would you say is the best actor / or actress in your opinion? My biased ass would rally for Kate Winslet all the way, but some other great ones for me are Toni Collette, Emma Stone, Jodie Foster, and Natalie Portman.

How many times have you been drunk in your life? Many.

What would you do if the last person you kissed said they hated you? Be confused and ask them to give me a few concrete reasons. I don’t think too highly of myself, but I know I’ve never done anything to make me deserving of hate, especially with regard to us.

Do you ever think you might be pregnant? No, it has never been a worry of mine.

When was the last time you acted really immature? The weekend.

Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more? Horror. I never watch comedies and the only subtype of it that I watch is romcom.

As a child, did you ever have an imaginary friend? Yeah but it lasted all of five minutes until I got bored with the concept.

Does anyone call you baby? Who would that be? No.

Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? I have no idea what take up means. If this also means ‘stand up for me,’ then yeah I can.

#survey #surveys

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lesbeet · 4 years

Text

not to be a nerd but i accidentally just wrote a whole impromptu essay about editing ndjsdksksk im throwing it under a cut bc it's fucking inane and really long but honestly... i just want other people to become as passionate about editing as i am lmaooooo

i also recommend 2 books in the post so if anything at least check those out!

quality books about editing... *chef's kiss* a lot of the basic ones (including blog posts online n such) are geared towards beginners and end up repeating the same info/advice, much of it either oversimplified or misrepresented tbh. but i read one yesterday and i'm reading another one right now that really convey this passion for editing + consideration for it as its own sort of art and i just!!

it's such a weird thing to be passionate about lmao but i AM and i've spent a lot of time the past year or so consciously honing my craft (ik i mention this like 4 times a week i'm just really proud of how much i've learned and improved) and kind of like. solidifying my instincts into conscious choices i guess?

and these GOOD editing books have both a) taught me new information and/or presented familiar information through a new perspective that helped me understand something differently or in more depth, and b) validated or even just put into words certain preferences or techniques that i've developed on my own, that i don't normally see on those more basic lists i mentioned

btw the book i finished yesterday is self-editing for fiction writers: how to edit yourself into print by renni brown and dave king, and the one i'm reading currently is the artful edit: on the practice of editing yourself by susan bell.

the former was pretty sharp and straightforward. the authors demonstrated some of their points directly in the text, which was usually funny enough that i would show certain quotes to my sister without context

("Just think about how much power a single obscenity can have if it’s the only one in the whole fucking book." <- (it was)

"Frequent italics have come to signal weak writing. So you should never resort to them unless they are the only practical choice, as with the kind of self-conscious internal dialogue shown above or an occasional emphasis."

or, my favorite: "There are a few stylistic devices that are so “tacky” they should be used very sparingly, if at all. First on the list is emphasis quotes, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. The only time you need to use them is to show you are referring to the word itself, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. Read it again; it all makes sense.")

and like i said, i also learned some new ideas or techniques (or they articulated vague ideas i already had but struggled to put into practice), AND they mentioned some suggestions that ive literally never seen anyone else bring up (not to say no one has! just that ive never seen it, and ive seen a lot in terms of writing tips, advice, best practices, etc) that ive already sort of established in my own writing

for example they went into pretty fine detail about dialogue mechanics, more than i usually see, and in talking about the pacing and proportion of "beats" and dialogue in a given scene, they explicitly suggested that, if a character speaks more than a sentence or two and you plan on giving them some sort of dialogue tag or an action to perform as a beat, the tag or action should be placed at one of the earliest (if not the first) natural pauses in the dialogue, so as not to distance the character too far from the dialogue -- bc otherwise the reader ends up getting all of the dialogue information first, and then has to go back and retroactively insert the character, or what they're doing, or the way they look/sound while they're giving their little speech

and like this was something ive figured out on my own, mostly bc it jarred me out of something i was reading enough times (probably in fic tbh) that i started noticing it, and realized that it's something i do naturally, kind of to anchor the character to the dialogue mechanic to make sure it makes sense with the actual dialogue

so like. ok here's an example i just randomly pulled from the song of achilles (it was available on scribd so i just looked for a spot that worked to illustrate my point djsmsks)

the actual quote is written effectively, but here's a less effective version first:

“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him. He’s done nothing to me," Achilles answered coolly.

see and even with such a short snippet it's so much smoother and more vivid just by moving the dialogue tag, not adding or cutting a word:

“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him.” Achilles answered coolly. “He’s done nothing to me.”

the rhythm of it is better, and the beat that the dialogue tag creates functions as a natural dramatic pause before achilles delivers an incredibly poignant line, both within the immediate context of the scene and because we as the readers can recognize it as foreshadowing. plus, it flows smoothly because that beat was inserted where the dialogue already contained a natural pause, just bc that's how people speak. if you read both versions aloud, they both make sense, but the second version (the original used in the novel) accounts for the rhythm of dialogue, the way people tend to process information as they read, AND the greater context of the story, and as a result packs significantly more purpose, information, and effect into the same exact set of words

and THAT, folks, is the kind of editing minutia i can literally sit and hyperfocus on for hours without noticing. anyway it's a good book lmao

the one i'm reading now is a lot more about the cognitive process/es of editing, so there's less concrete and specific advice (so far, anyway) and more discussion about different mental approaches to editing, as well as tips and tools for making a firm distinction between your writer brain and your editor brain, which is something i struggle with

but there have been so many good quotes that ive highlighted! a lot of just like. reminders and things to think about, and also just lovely articulations of things id thought of or come to understand in much more vague ways.

scribd won't let me copy/paste this one bc it's a document copy and not an actual ebook, but this passage is talking about how the simple act of showing a piece of writing to someone else for the very first time can spark a sudden shift in perspective on the work, bc you'll (or at least i) frantically try to re-read it through their eyes and end up noticing a bunch of new errors -

or she talked about the perils of constant re-reading in the middle of writing a draft, which is something i struggle with a LOT, both bc i'm a perfectionist and bc i prefer editing to writing so i sit and edit when i'm procrastinating doing the actual hard work of writing lmao

it's just this side of fake deep tbh but i so rarely see editing discussed like this--as a mixture of art and science, a collaboration between instinct and technique, that really requires "both sides of the brain" to be done well.

and because of the way my own brain works, activities that require such a balanced concentration of creativity and logic really appeal to me. even though ive seen a lot of people (even professional writers) who frame it as the creative art of writing vs the logical discipline of editing. but i think that's such a misleading way of thinking about it, because writing and editing both require creativity and logic -- just different kinds! (not to mention that the line between writing and editing, while mostly clear, can get a little blurry from up close)

but like...all stories have an inner logic to them, even if the writer hasn't explicitly or consciously planned it, and even if the logic is faulty in places in the first couple of drafts. when you're sitting and daydreaming about your story, especially if you're trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between two points or scenes (or, how to write a sequence of events that presents as a logical, inevitable progression of cause and effect), the voice in your head that evaluates an idea and decides to 1) go with it, 2) scrap it, 3) tweak it until it works, or 4) hold onto it in case you want it later? that's your logic! if an idea feels wrong, or like it just doesn't work, it's probably because some part of you is detecting a conflict between some part of the idea and the overall logic of your story. every decision you make as you write is formed by and checked against your own experiential logic, and also by the internal logic of your story, which is far less developed (or at least, one would hope), and therefore more prone to the occasional laspe

but while ive seen a number of articles that discuss the logic of writing, i don't see people gushing as much about the art of editing and it's such a shame

the inner editor is so often characterized as the responsible parent to the writer's carefree child, or a relentless critic of the writer's unselfconscious, unpolished drivel

and it's like... maybe you just hate thinking critically about your work! maybe you view it that way because you're imposing external standards too fiercely onto your writing, and it's sucked the joy out of shaping and sculpting your words until they sing. maybe you prefer to conceive of your writing as divine communication, the process of which must remain unencumbered by lessons learned through experience or the vulnerability of self-reflection, until the buzzkill inner editor shows up with all those "rules" and "conventions" that only matter if you're trying to get published

and like obviously the market doesn't dictate which conventions are worth following, but the majority of widely-agreed-upon writing standards, especially those aimed at beginners, (and most especially those regarding style, as opposed to story structure) have to do with the effectiveness and efficiency of prose, and, in addition to often serving as a shorthand for distinguishing an amateur from a pro, overall help to increase poignancy and clarity, which is crucial no matter the genre or type of writing. and even if you personally believe otherwise, it's better to understand the conventions so you can break them with real purpose.

so editing shouldn't be about trying to shove your pristine artistic masterpiece into a conventional mold, it should be about using the creative instincts of your ear and your logic and experience-based understanding of writing as a craft to hone your words until you've told your story as effectively as possible

thank u for coming to my ted talk ✌️

#long post //#editing #wref #sefa rambles

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kagayamasthighs · 4 years

Note

weeeee hi min! i came across ur blog n ab to dive into ur works (am pumped) but first saw that u just got ur tongue pierced and im SO CURIOUS— how was the pain level/healing process been?? (only if u dont mind me asking!) im highkey a wimp and just got a diff piercing done myself but ngl was eyeing that for a hot sec, only the place i went to wasnt doing below mask piercings. but i’m considering!!

tongue piercing stuff

hihi!! i’m so happy you found my blog 🥺 i’m gonna answer your questions and also add some other stuff that might be helpful!

is it painful?

ok so I have a pretty high pain tolerance?? built: different but when i got it done, the feeling was similar to what a lot of other people have said online about the pain. i expected it to hurt a lot more than it did, it just kind of felt like when you bite your tongue by mistake but for a longer period of time? the pain doesn’t get progressively worse or anything while they’re getting the jewelry ready to go in the new piercing it just? kinda remains the same. Once the jewelry is in, it doesn’t hurt as badly. like immediately after i had it done I could talk pretty normally and stick my tongue out without much pain

how long does it take to heal?

generally, tongue piercings take 4-6 weeks to heal which is super fast! mucous membranes like the tongue bounce back really quickly! when you first get your tongue pierced, the bar is really long (5/8 of an inch or 7/8 of an inch long, depending on your tongue) so that there’s lots of room for it to swell. after the 4-6 weeks you can go back to your piercer and they’ll put in a shorter bar for you, sometimes even for free!

recovery essentials

these are some things that are essential for the recovery process (please follow your piercer’s instructions!! i’m not a licensed piercer, this is all my personal experience):

a new, soft bristled tooth brush (i bought a pack of kids’ toothbrushes from cvs)

a good, alcohol free mouthwash. most piercers recommend biotene, and I like it a lot because it’s made to help with dry mouth, and the first few days i was just chilling with my mouth open because the swelling made closing my mouth all the way a little uncomfy. Brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash after consuming anything other than water (sometimes i just rinse with mouthwash or saline solution though)

distilled water and non-iodized, natural sea salt (warm up the water, adding 1/4tsp salt to every cup of water) to make a saline solution. swishing a little warm saline solution really helps with the healing process and makes it feel much better during the early days of healing

pain reliever! i got motrin because it’s also an anti-inflammatory.

ice! i crushed a little ice at a time in the blender and just?? ate little spoonfuls of it for the first 5 or so days

also i’d avoid spicy food/ any food that’s intensely flavored (like salt and vinegar chips or sour candy) for about a week at least bc that shit hurted me ;~; i had salt and vinegar chips on day 8 and my tongue was like pls stoP but like,,, i paid money for the chips so i ate them and suffered

recovery process

(i’m currently on day 11, so i’ll only be able to tell you about what’s happened so far dshjfsgjkghsg)

day 1: some slight discomfort when talking, not a whole lot of noticeable swelling. for some reason as soon as i got home my stupid ass tried to eat a banana and it kinda hurt unless i took really little bites. eating feels really weird and hurts a bit at first.

day 2: i woke up and the swelling was worse than on day one. The pain was a bit worse too? but that might have just been me not noticing the pain as much on day 1 because the adrenaline of actually going out and getting it done haha. talking makes the pain worse, and sticking my tongue out was pretty uncomfortable too. i think i ate mac and cheese? the pain and swelling weren’t super bad so i was confident i’d be good eating it

day 3: ok so day 3 is are when the swelling usually hits its peak: it usually doesn’t get any more swollen than it is on day 3. that being said shit was VERY swollen, all my meals were smoothies of some sort. I ate lots of ice but had to use a tiny spoon because opening my mouth super big hURT.

day 4: my tongue was still pretty swollen, slightly less than day 3, but not like noticeably better. more smoothies. more ice

day 5: i noticed that the swelling was getting better on day 5 but it still wasn’t super close to normal. might have had pasta? i think?

day 6: i don’t know about day 5 but im positive i had pasta by day 6. Swelling was still noticeable but it was going down. not very painful! just felt a twinge if i tried to stick my tongue out or moved my tongue around a lot.

day 7: swelling was still going down! much closer to normal than day 3 though. very close to normal i think. i found out i can eat most things (like,,, texture wise. spicy food is still a no go) without much trouble by this point any pain was more like,,, soreness? overall not bad. the pain was so minimal i’d just?? forget to take it every 4-6 hours and only took it when i noticed it was kinda painful

day 8: by day 8 i felt pretty much back to normal and didn’t need to take pain relievers. i didn’t really notice my tongue feeling or looking very swollen either so i got overconfident and had some potato chips. texture wise? i was pretty ok eating them, i just had to be careful. but my stupid ass thought salt and vinegar would be a good flavor to try having. it was not a good idea, and it stung but like,,, i bought them so i ate them anyway

day 9 - now: totally normal!! but it’s important to keep rinsing and brushing extra because even though it feels fine it’s still healing

let me know if there’s anything else you wanna know! i hope this helps!! and thank you for following me @scrappydaisies !!

#scrappydaisies #min's rambles

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mattygraygubler · 4 years

Text

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff.

“Warn me?” He asked.

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff.

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed.

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.”

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said.

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start.

* * *

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom.

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

i still dont know how i feel about this

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

lets take it to a vote

aye

nay

You

im abstaining

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late.

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand.

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.”

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.”

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.”

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out.

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.”

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded.

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter.

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others.

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed.

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes.

“So phases of the moon.” You started.

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?”

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it.

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked.

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes.

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes.

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing.

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.”

‘“Themes?” He asked.

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance.

al dont be upset

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

……….. It’s themed

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face.

“Everything ok?” He asked.

“Just arguing in the group chat.”

“Do you need to go?” He asked.

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed.

“Do you ever have fun?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.”

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.”

“Clearly.”

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?”

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.”

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours.

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased.

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated.

pickin up panera anyone want anything

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said.

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff.

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked.

“Sorry, can’t,” you said.

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked.

“Maybe,” you said.

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well where are you going?”

“Congression Hall?” You replied.

“Wait, you live there?”

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.”

“What floor?”

“8.” You said.

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors.

“Yeah.” You said simply.

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.”

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.”

“Of course,” he replied.

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented.

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-”

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off.

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself.

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said.

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?”

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information.

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.”

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.”

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment.

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building.

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…”

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N.

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips.

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her?

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean?

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel?

Dan

i hate u all

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence

Tom

wtf? Why?

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart?

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?!

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know?

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show.

Tom

what makes u say that?

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show?

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

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lethbians · 4 years

Note

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts.

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention.

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable with “notsfw” and “bill hader”.

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs.

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves.

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over.

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag.

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti.

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself.

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog).

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine.

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts.

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again.

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content.

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning.

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves.

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree).

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen.

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19.

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in).

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry.

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has.

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink.

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

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sub4bondage86 · 4 years

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(Stories found on Slaveboys - amupfurit)

I sit here writing this wearing white Adidas trackie bottoms, white McKenzie T-Shirt, Air Max Cap and Lacoste trainers, smoking, with a chastity cage on and a large black butt plug lodged firmly up my ass.. Ned-Slave Well, where do I start? I’m Dan, 20 years old from Glasgow in Scotland, kinda tall at 6ft, got dark hair and eyes and a great body, if I do say so myself! I was considered a bit of a scally, or Ned as they’re called in Scotland, always walking about with trackies, Lacoste trainers and a fag in my mouth. I got on well with my pals, all lads, proper lads, we got wrecked every weekend and ended up doing shit that really wasn’t cool; vandalism, happy slapping, etc. Sex talk didn’t really come up in day to day conversation with the lads, sometimes our pack leader, Jamie, would tell us of the bitches he had taken over the week and the others would all act impressed and cheer him on whereas I just smiled and lit up a fag or kept myself distracted to not look like the pussy I was... I’ve been into kink for a while now, looking on various websites to get my kicks out of other ‘slaves’ being used and abused, thinking to myself how great it would be to be put in bondage, even for just a little while. From my mid-teens I found myself looking less and less at girl porn, and more at guy porn, but I had fooled around with girls in the past and have had my fair share of pussy mostly just to keep the guys impressed and to stop the torrent of abuse the other guys who seemed to never get any action got. I had convinced myself I wasn’t ‘gay’ but I knew that I needed to be dominated by another man. I had looked and tried to get hard at Femdom stuff, but it just wasn’t for me, I couldn’t see me being used by a woman and from what I had seen most of them seemed pretty desperate, but I guess I didn’t look too hard cause I knew deep down that only a man could make me feel the way I needed to feel! It was my secret taboo and no one could find out, regularly deleting all my history and cookies, making sure there was no way my older brother Cameron could see, even if he did manage to log on as me. Cameron was not only my older brother, but my guardian as our parents had left some time ago, and despite being in and out of homes, Cameron took me in as soon as he could and we set up home together, 2 brothers having a great lads time in Glasgow. The house really was the party central in town, with mine’s and Cammie’s pals coming round most weekends for a good ol’ booze up. One weekend, a good few months ago Cameron was away at his girlfriend’s house, so I took this as prime time to have a major wank session while browsing the internet, trying to find a master or someone kinky to go on cam with. I’d told all my pals I was away with Cammie for the weekend, so had from Friday morning til Monday night to myself and man, was I looking forward to it! I finished work at the builders at 3 and went straight back to the house, sat down at the computer with a bottle of beer and a pack of fags to see me through the night. I found a website and quickly made a profile to see what it had on it. Wow. It was awesome. I didn’t realise there were as many guys out there into the same stuff. Some of it was pretty wierd for me though, guys pissing on each other and stuff like that I could never find a turn on. I read some of the forum messages, and man was there some horny stuff. I quickly had a look to see who was online and messaged a guy quite local to me in Glasgow... “Awryte man, nice pics, wud luv 2 get sum action wi u!” I clicked Send, and for some reason I was nervous. It was the fucking internet! He didn’t know anything about me apart from what was on my bare profile, age and location! Why the hell was I nervous. I got a reply quickly. “Boy, you will call me Sir from now on, I am not ‘man’ or ‘m8’, I am Master and you will treat me accordingly. Now boy, do you have a way for us to chat like MSN? If so, I want you to send me your user name immediately.” I got an instant boner when I read that, this hot sounding 25 year old with great pictures was telling me to send my MSN username to him. I lit up a fag and had a quick look around the site before another message popped up “Boy, I don’t take time wasters lying down, either message me your MSN now or never contact me again”. I kinda laughed but thought what the hell and sent him my e-mail address and waited. Just after I put out my first smoke I was messaged on MSN by ‘Master T’: “So boy, why haven’t I seen you on here before?” I explained to him I was new to this and was having a look around to see what I was interested in and maybe have a wank over cam. I explained that I was straight but was curious to find out more about this lifestyle and so far I was pretty turned on. “Very good, a newbie boi for me to break in! U look good boi...” I shat myself, how the hell did he know what I looked like? I started looking around me to see if there was someone looking or any hidden cameras like on the TV shows. I messages him back “LOL man, how the hell u know if I look good? “BOI, U will address me as Sir or master, and Mr Ford, I know everything” By now I was freaked out, he knew apparently what I looked like, but hell.. He knew my surname! I lost the horn and was shaking a little, wondering how this pervert had found out my sir name without me telling it to him. “Sir how do you know my surname? Please tell me or I’ll block you and that’s it!” There was no reply for a good 5 minutes, I was sweating and was swithering on blocking him and hoping it was a really good bluff! He replied and I just about jumped out my seat... Not only did he know who I was, but he had access to all the lads and my pals! “Facebook boi!” Shit what an idiot I had been, I had given him my real e-mail address which I used for everything, Insta, Twitter, facebook! Everything! I didn’t reply, I was shitting myself, what if this guy was going to out me in one go to all my pals? What if he was going to harass me or contact my brother!

“Well boi, get on cam, I want to see my new boi live! Don’t worry, if you please your new master, no one will ever find out. Trust me boy, Im not an old perv, I’ll show you my cam too.” Somehow, this eased my nerves a little. This guy probably didn’t want to be found out either and what the hell, if he did try anything I would just get the police involved. I clicked the send camera button and within a few seconds he sent his and my, oh my, he was stunning. He was muscled, with blonde hair and great blue eyes, he had a cool tribal tattoo similar to mine on his arm and both his nipples were shining with the little silver rings hanging through them. I got hard again and told him he was amazing looking. He looked like an Abercrombie model, only with a wild streak! “Good boi, now, tell ur master what you are into!” I told him I had been looking around the site and loved the look of cages and collars, even the handcuffs and masks looked horny. I explained I wasn't into getting fucked and I wouldn’t suck another dude’s dick for anything. I lit up another fag and told him a bit more about me and asked him what he liked and what he has done in the past. “Boi, I love getting wee ned fuckers like you all chained up and doing things to them beyond their wildest imaginations. Do you have any gear boi?” I asked what gear was, to me it was dope, but how wrong I was... He asked if I had any toys, anal toys! Any handcuffs or tape? I explained I really was new to this and only had handcuffs on once before, and that was after being in a fight on Argyle Street! I was still hard as a rock, sitting here like a faggot looking at this hot guy talking to me about dildos and things called butt plugs. He told me he had to go for an hour, but to research about kink and hopefully open my mind to the things he was going to do to me. I was wanking slightly and he said not wank or touch my cock before he came back. I said OK and started doing my homework for this amazing guy! I started looking around the site some more, reading the forums and trying to find out more about this new found fetish of mine. I read about loads of positions, different gear that guys use and looked at more photos of guys chained up with their cracks’ stuffed with dildos and these plug things. I googled most of the gear and found some sites that sold stuff and man, I didn’t realise there was so much and so many sites that sold them, it was amazing. I found it hard not to touch my dick which was tenting up through my trackie bottoms but just kept lighting up fag after fag to keep my mind (and hands) off my cock. Messenger popped up again, “Well boi Dan, how’s the research coming along?” “Hi Sir, Done loadsa lookin aboot n its aw fuckin horny stuff. Here, u got ne of it?” Master T replied instantly, “More than you could ever realise boi, and you are going to get to try it all out! Now get back on cam!” I quickly turned the camera on as I lit up another fag, shit, I only had 5 left, I wasn’t going to be able to make it through the night chatting to this stud with 5 fags! “Boi, smoke that cig quick, inhale each and every drag well, stand up, then strip. In that order. Go!” I puffed as quick as I could pulled the smokey goodness into my lungs, stubbed it out, stood up and stripped quicker than I ever had before. Fuck, what the hell was I doing? Stripping to another bro on a webcam, it seemed so fucking wierd but man I was as horny as hell and with my dick pointing straight up, I quickly realised he knew I was horny too. I typed to him, still standing, leaning over the keyboard, “ Like wot u see man” then quickly changed man to Sir! before hitting enter. “Yes boi, but it will be better to see you in real life. When are you free for me to train you up real good?” I asked him how he meant by train and he referred me to some of the pictures on the site and on another site while explaining that soon, very soon, I would be his trained cock slave. Reading what he said and looking at the pictures only made me hornier and my twitching cock gave it away. “We’ll need to get that greedy cock locked away too boi, can’t have my boys wanking without Sir’s direct permission...” I laughed out loud thinking it was a joke and Master T clearly saw this on cam. “That was NOT a joke boi, I have a CB-6000 waiting for you and you WILL be locked up until I say otherwise. Kneel down.” In my complete ignorance I asked what a CB-6000 thing was and kneeled on the floor in-front of the computer. I was still horny as hell even although this guy had managed to find out everything about me in not such a long period of time and have me do what he wants without him actually forcing me to. He replied saying I must not have done my homework well enough and not to worry cause I would be having it on very soon! He asked once again when I was free to come over. I quickly said, stupidly, that I was free all weekend.

“Excellent boi, I will be training you!” I started rubbing my dick again, hoping he wouldn’t see. Man I was horny, but I was nervous as hell about talking about this training. Over the past few hours I had learned so much and truly realised how much it got me horny. “Leave your dick alone boi, you will be punished! What’s your phone number?” I read his comment and instantly let go of my dick, this guy really did have power over me, and he didn’t even need to remind me that he could out me instantly if he wanted, but it didn’t bother me. I wanted, for some stupid fucking reason to let this guy tell me what to do and make me do it. “Eh sir, I dunno if I wanna give oot ma number the now” “OK boi, thats fine, who do you want me to tell that ur a little bitch to a man first?” I got nervous again and changed my mind, its only a number, I could change it if things got wierd and I wanted to call it off. I sent him my mobile number and started staring at my phone, excited and nervous about him calling or texting me. “Good boi! Now, I am going to phone you, you are going to pick up and we are going to discuss what time you are to meet me and what I want you do to beforehand.” “Awrite sir, no bother!” The phone rang and despite me knowing it was coming I just about jumped up with the fright, my heart was racing as I went to pick it up “Private Number”. “Good boi” His voice was gruff but soothing at the same time. “Now, while on cam, stand up and turn around, bend over and spread your crack for me to see whats now mine!” I didn’t say a word but did exactly as he wanted. He told me again I was a good boi, this pleased me more than I expected and was still hard as a rock. He told me what to do before meeting him and we talked about where I was in relation to him in Glasgow. Turned out he was only 5 minutes by car away from the centre so I could meet him in town and go back to his with him. “Boi, I want you to go to a sex shop and buy the following items, a large butt plug, lubricant, and a vibrating cock ring” “Yes Sir” I replied, thinking where the nearest sex shop was. He hung up and told me on messenger to turn off my cam and get going, and that he would text me further details. I lit up another fag as the first text came through: put your trackies back on, make sure u r as neddy as possible and get going. I finished my fag and replied Yes Sir, just leaving the house. I went on google after I got dressed and found a gay sex shop not too far from me and the city centre and found out how to go there. I was nervous, yet horny as hell. I left the house, wearing my tracksuit, a white cap, reebok classics, with only my fags, lighter, phone, keys and wallet on me... I walked round to the city centre, took ten minutes and started having second thoughts, man this guy could fuck me or make me suck his dick, eugh! I was into the domination, but wasn’t so keen on getting my arse violated. I made my way to the sex shop, looking all around me to make sure there was no cunt I new about before entering the shop. I was blushing and just about jumped out my skin when the shop helper offered me some help. “Eh, erm, aye man, just gettin some stuff for me n ma burd tae use! She’s into this kinky stuff like!” He sniggered, and clearly new my ‘burd’ was a man. I was red as a post box and started getting hard, I hoped he wouldn’t notice, but my bulge was clear through my CKs and white trackie bottoms. I pointed out a plug, and a cock ring with a vibrating egg attached and got some lube. He packed it all and I paid in cash to be discreet as possible. I walked out the shed as coy as possible with my cap pulled down and face down so not to be seen. I looked at the bag, SHIT! There was a muscled man’s silhouette on the bag! I had to walk with this bag, trying to keep with to side streets to try and avoid people. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, a text... “Now boi I assume you have made your purchases, I wont be meeting you in town so head to Central Station and get the train to Bridgeton, but first, stop in the toilet and remove your pants and dispose of them. If they are on when you get here, you will be punished. Text me back when they’re off.”

Holy fuck! This guy was serious and I didn’t seem to have a chance to meet him before going to his, plus I had to walk along one of the busiest streets to get the train. I was going to get on at another stop closer to me, but realised there was no bogs and nowhere to take off my knickers. I started walking briskly towards the station with my head hung low and lit up a fag. Shit, last one! I nipped into a wee shop on the way and got some, fuck there was some wee neds in the shop doing the same thing. I waited behind them in the queue while they bought their cigs and then got mine, not before one of them pointed at my bag and started laughing and telling his mates what it was. I was so embarrassed, even the shop keeper was sniggering as he handed me over my 40 fags and change. I left the shop and headed to the station, lighting up yet another fag en route to calm my nerves. When I got to the station I saw the train was leaving in 6 minutes, so quickly went to the toilets, locked myself in a cubicle and took my pants off. I thought about putting them in my bag for later, but realised I might be caught by Master T and though otherwise. I walked out the toilet and dumped my underwear in a bin before jumping on the train just before it pulled away. My phone buzzed again, this time a picture message. It was him, Master T, completely naked with handcuffs in his hand, the message read, Im just leaving for the station, you better get on a train soon. I replied instantly, just on the train Sir, be there in 5 mins. I started getting hard again, the train was busy and I had to stand, fuck! I was aware of people staring at me, my bag and now, my raging hard-on poking up through my nylon trackies. Nervous as I was, thinking of this meeting with a guy I barely knew for my first male-male experience was turning me on so much! The train announcer came over the tannoy: Next Stop, Bridgeton. My stop. My stomach was churning, my head was spinning and I was bright red with embarrassment but I knew I couldn’t turn back now, he would probably be waiting for me at the train as I got off. The next two minutes seemed to take an age to go by, then finally, the train stopped and I was at Bridgeton. For those of you who don’t know, Bridgeton isn’t the nicest part of Glasgow, its full of other neds like me, but harder, with teeth missing and shit like that, I wasn’t too comfortable with getting off with this hard on and bag in hand, but I did as I needed and stepped out into the cold air. I looked around and fortunately there was no one around, including Master T. I text him saying that I had arrived and asked what he was wearing to help me identify him. I never got a text back for a couple of minutes, I started worrying that he wasn’t going to come and I would have to make my embarrassing journey back to my house, underwear-less and horny. Then, a blue Audi RS4 pulled up beside me and I saw him for the first time in the flesh, he rolled the window down and shouted, get in the back boi, now!

I opened the door and climbed in, sitting opposite him in the back of the car. It smelled of smoke, leather and male musk, “Hi boi, glad to see you didn’t ditch on me like the other fuckwits I have had try it with me.” I laughed nevously, “Yeah man, eh, Sir! Nice motor!” He reminded me that I was to call him Sir, or Master T all times and I would be punished if I didn’t. I was still horny as hell, but worried about my fate. This guy could kill me for all he wanted and there would be little anyone could find out, I had deleted all my history. My mind was racing but deep down I knew he was all right. The guy was stunning, even better in real life. I kept staring at his face as he told me the journey was short, but he wanted to examine me before we went to his place so we were going to a deserted industrial area for him to check me out. He threw back a pair of handcuffs, proper police ones with the black plastic mould in the middle so they couldn’t be moved. “Put them on, tight!” I did as he said and was now trapped in his car with my hands cuffed between the seatbelt strap. I couldn’t get out if I wanted, not that I did. This was the horniest thing I had ever done. We drove in silence for 10 minutes, I wanted to ask him so many questions but he had told me not to speak without permission. Finally we pulled up outside a warehouse and he leaned back to undo my cuffs after pulled my trackies down over my knees. “Good lad, you followed my orders, my, my your a big boy!” I laughed again, trying to hide my embarrassment. He ordered me out the car, and told me to recuff behind me back, with my trackies lying at my ankles. I hobbled out and stood there in all my glory half naked. He revved the engine and moved the car off, I panicked and started hobbling towards the moving car, falling flat on my face, with no hands to stop my fall. I picked myself up, glad to see the car had stopped and saw him laughing at my trip. Master T climbed out the car with a cigarette behind his ear. “Thanks for the toys and smokes boi, all mine now!”. I spoke up, “Can a have a smoke please Sir?” “ I told you not to speak without permission boi! But as you are new to this and you asked so politely, you may” He pulled out my smokes and put one in his mouth and one in mine before lighting them both. I didn’t have free hands, so had to dangle my cig in my mouth while he walked around me checking me out, occasionally slapping my ass and feeling my abs. I was quite uncomfortable with him touching me, but my dick was more than happy. After he had thoroughly checked my body out he stepped back and nodded, taking a deep drag of his fag. “You’ll do boi!”. I felt so degraded and used, and I had a niggling feeling this was only the start. I finished dragging on my fag and spat it out. He commanded me back to the back of the car and opened the boot, “Get it, now!”. I stammered, “eh, whit?!!” Smack! He had hit slapped me hard on the side of my face. I was stunned, I must have started weeping. “Fucking pussy, get in the boot”. I whimpered, “Yes Sir” and tried to throw my self into the boot, which luckily for me had a blanket to land on. He grabbed my legs and tucked them in, “It’s only going to be a 5 minute drive boi, stop greeting and get a grip, you’re about to have the best weekend of your life, and so am I!” I felt comforted by his words and pulled myself together as the boot lid shut, the engine started and I lay there as the car was pulling away. I was scared, but excited. I had the biggest boner I had ever had and I was looking forward to jerking off when I got the chance, with my hands cuffed still behind my back it wasn’t possible and with it being so dark and confined I couldn’t manoeuvre them to my front to have a fondle. For the duration of the journey I just kept quiet lying in the boot, not quite sure what to think. I was awestruck by his attitude, demeanour and sheer manliness. After what seemed like a good hour (probably only 15 minutes), the car stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief. We were here, wherever here was. The boot was flung open and Master T lifted me out the boot. He quickly slung a blindfold over my face before I got a chance to take in my surroundings, which seemed like a generic housing estate. He grabbed my cock and started walking me to what I assumed was his house. I was strangely at ease for a man to be holding my cock, nay; I was aroused even more by it. I heard a door open and I carefully stepped up into the room.

“Welcome to my humble abode boi” Master said “Now, kneel down and open your mouth.” I did as he said as he closed the door, and I heard multiple locks turning. I opened my mouth and felt something hard, like a small tennis ball being shoved in my gob and something being strapped behind my neck. After some fiddling, Master stepped away and I tried to push the ball out my mouth with my tongue with no avail, it must have been one of the ball gags I had seen on the site, man, I grew even more horny! Then I felt something cold round my neck, “Boi, you will wear this for the duration of the weekend, and even longer if I feel it needs to be worn in public.” I heard a lock and realised I had been collared. I was now owned. “Kneel down boi”. I knelt there with a metal collar round my neck, a rubber ball gag planted firmly in my mouth, a leather blindfold on and my hands cuffed behind my back. I was as hard as a rock, but nervous to find out what was going to happen next. “Now boi, I am going to get you ready for a weekend of servitude, and fun before I release you back to your home comforts” Master T was laying out his plan, “ I don’t expect to be questioned and I don’t ever want to hear No as your first answer to any question I may ask you, of course when your gagged like that I don’t suppose you will be the conversation starter anyway.” He laughed. Master T whipped off my blindfold, the light hurt my eyes a little, but I was delighted to see him in his masculine form towering over me like a god! “Follow me boi” I went to stand up to follow him up the staircase in front, but Master T barked back “I did not give you permission to stand up slut, crawl!” I quickly jumped back down onto all 4s and struggled to ascend the stairs behind him with my hands cuffed. I must have looked some sight! Master T opened the door to the bathroom and pointed for me to go in, he instructed me to get in the bath, face up and to close my eyes. Once again, the leather blindfold was applied. Shit this was horny! Shit, is he going to drown me? I panicked and jumped up, only to be pushed back down by Master. “ Fuck sake boi, stay still, I’m not gonna kill ya! Relax, and trust me”. His manly, calm demeanour eased me a little and I sunk back into the bath. I felt his touch on my arms and the right cuff was removed. It was then clipped to the bar on the left side of the bath. “Be right back boi”. I was now cuffed to the bath unable to see or speak, and my boner was still raging. I must be sick. "Don't dare touch your cock!" I heard Master leave the room and listened some extensive fumbling around in the room next door, what the fuck was he doing in there?! I didn't touch my cock incase I got too excited and shot my load, which given my predicament wouldn't have been a good move. Finally, Master came back, I could smell cigarette smoke, damn I needed a fag! I heard metal knocking together, just lightly, and then my right arm was cuffed to the right side of the bath. Totally unable to move now! “Right boi, slave prep stage 1 begins” Master laughed, then blew some smoke in my direction. Aghh, this was torture; the smoke, the suspense, my raging boner not being touched! I felt something cold being squirted on my pubic area; I didn’t have a lot of pubes to begin with as I trimmed them down, but I knew what was coming… I was 100% right in my thoughts, he was shaving my pubes and dick, slowly and carefully, making sure there wasn’t a stray hair in sight. Laughing and coughing occasionally, he paused, presumably to take a drag from his fag and to admire his handy work. What a god!

With my pubes now as bald as the day I was born, I felt more and more horny. Damn, this guy was good! He leaned over and whispered, “we’re not done yet boi”! He lifted my blindfold and once again I could see his face, beautiful – God this guy is turning me into a right faggot. He took out both my diamond earrings, and my gold chain and bracelet; “Slaves don’t need these embellishments” apparently, “you’ll get them back when I release you”. “What do you think boi?” I strained to look down and I was truly bald, he really did take his time and make a good job. I mumbled “Amazing Sir!” and nodded. I was drooling by this stage and pretty thirsty, I was having a great time but wanted out of the cold bath soon to get a drink, a fag and a comfy seat. “Now boi, I’m gonna flip you over and do the back side”. Shit, why would he want my arse shaved?! I didn’t wanted fucked, well… I wanted to know get fucked, but it was taking it to a new level. I didn’t have a choice, so no point in protesting. He uncuffed my right arm at the bath side, and attached it to the left bar, then uncuffed the left cuff and attached it to the right side; this guy’s a pro, not letting my free at any point, whilst flipping me onto me knees face down. Once again, the shaving crème was applied and the razor was dragged across my bare arse and arse crack, slowly and carefully as before. I didn’t have much hair but he wanted to be sure, clearly! “We’re done boi, you look like a good wee slave” Master T chortled, “Best get you washed down and cleaned up before we move on to stage 2!” With that, he uncuffed my right arm and attached the cuffs together, then did the same with the left, double security! He turned me round just before I fell on my face and proceeded to take out my ball gag. Finally! My jaw was aching! “Well boi, how do you feel?” “Good Sir, cheers! I am so fuckin horny right now! I’m dying for a fag as well, Jeez Master, that was amazi…” He cut my verbal diarrhoea of whith a swift slap on the face “Shut up boi, your mumbling away like you’ve just discovered speech, but I am glad your having fun. Now, you thirsty?” “Aye Sir, im parched with drooling so much, please can I have a drink n a fag?” “Very well boi, I’ll get you a drink and we can have a smoke when we’re downstairs” He put my blindfold on, and there was silence, then I heard a zipper open “Open your mouth boi, I’ve got you a drink” He then started pissing straight in my mouth, I was black affronted, I didn’t know what to do. Pissing? In my mouth? I started to choke. “Swallow boy, you’ll be supping the rest out the tub if you don’t. I swallowed, trying not to gag, taking as much in my throat as possible without having to taste it. He laughed as I coughed a little, but shit, he was pissing like a stallion. He finally finished by showering me down with his piss. He rubbed it into my bald pubic area and grunted “That’s you washed down, and watered, lets get you cleaned up!”

I was totally turned off by this, my cock finally subsided and I was speechless. How could someone piss on me? Master T totally freaked me out, but he didn’t seem to think anything of it! Are people into this? What the fuck?! “What’s the matter lad, not like golden showers?” He laughed “Stay still til I clean you up”. He started the shower, shit it was cold! It soon warmed up and Master T rubbed me down. I still had my T-Shirt on, my favourite McKenzie one, it was now pissed on and soaked. Fuck. Master T turned off the shower and helped me stand up. “Now boi, I am going to un-cuff you, I don’t want any funny business or you’ll be drinking your meals from now on!” “Yes Sir” I mumbled, shivering with the cold air. I now resented even coming, how disgusting was that?! “Out the tub, come on slut, easy does it” Sir guided me over the tub. “Stand still whilst I dry you off”. I heard the sound of metal on metal again and I felt my right leg, then left leg be cuffed with a sharp click. “Not sure I could trust you to not run away before I take off your handcuffs, so these leg irons wlll reduce you to a hobble.” He uncuffed both sets of handcuffs holding my arms together and whipped off my T-Shirt “Fuckin nice body boi, felt good earlier but it looks great all covered in Goosebumps” He said as he rubbed the towel over them. I was proud of my body, with doing manual labour I had developed strong core muscles and good pair of strong arms; still, nothing like his amazing god-like physique. Following my rough towelling off, he clicked a pair of metal cuffs back on, damn they felt sexy. My libido returned a little, hey that experience wasn't that bad. “Right boi, stage 2 is coming soon, lets get that blindfold off you and go down stairs” He said as he pointed to the floor, obviously I was to crawl again. I crawled behind Master T down the stairs and into his living room. It was really nice, but had a definite man’s touch; big telly, awesome sound system and all the gadgets you could think of. He must be quite well moneyed I thought. “Right ya cheeky little cunt, sit on the floor at my feet til I catch up on Sky Sports News, I don’t wanna hear a sound out u, so here” He handed me an ashtray and a pack of fags, “Smoke away all u like but don’t fucking dare touch your dick” I sat in front of him with my back to the chair, he put his muscular legs over my shoulders pinning my in place. After watching the match highlights and us both having a good share of smokes, he said to me that it was now time for stage 2, and I was going to enjoy what was coming next. I was already boned watching the footie highlights with him, but after saying that I was rock solid. “Stay there, be right back cunt boi”

Master T came back a couple of minutes later as I finished off another smoke, wearing nothing but a pair of army camo fand boots, damn his body was amazing, I must have dropped my jaw as I saw him. “Haha boi, like what you see?” He said getting even closer. His nipple rings glistened in the light, highlighting his perfect torso, I was so aroused. “Crawl over here bitch” he beckoned as he sat down on the sofa across the room, “Lick my fucking boots clean” I don’t know what came over me but I went for them like a hungry dog, slurping and licking them all over, left then right foot then back again. “Nice work boi, I see you like my boots. C’mon upstairs”. He jogged up the stairs in front of me crawling, trying to keep pace, I tripped over on the stairs planting my face on the carpet “Ah ya fucker” I yelped. Slap. He leaned down, “I said, don’t say a fucking word earlier and I meant it, speak when spoken to, hurry up”. His verbal abuse just got me hornier, my dick was just about hitting off the stairs as I crawled to the top. I crawled after him into a room next to the bathroom where I had been shaved bald earlier, this was definitely not a bedroom, it was like a medieval torture room. Metal chains, a sling, numerous whips and paddles, wow. There were evil looking metal stocks and things I had no idea what they did, this was too horny. What kind of weirdo was I turning into, getting off on all this stuff I had only glimpsed at online?! “Right boi, stage 2 begins. Over here” He bellowed in a deep, sexy voice, pointing at the stocks. I crawled over to him standing at the stocks and looked into his eyes, for even a hint of what was coming next. “Stay” he said as he walked over, took a key out and locked the door. They key was returned to his pocked and he came back to me. “I’m going to unlock you and get you dressed in my favourite gear, seen as you have been so compliant.” I took this as a compliment and smiled, favourite gear? I wonder…

Master T reached down and unlocked my handcuffs and leg irons with care and speed, he reminded me not to say a word and do as I was “fucking told, or else”. I was completely at ease now, despite still being in a compromised situation, but I trusted him. His demeanour and attitude was so manly and powerful, yet it seemed he cared for me. He went over to a closet in the corner and rummaged around for what was presumably his favourite gear. After some time, apparently ensuring he got the right image, he shouted for me to close my eyes before being presented with my outfit. I closed my eyes and waited with baited breath for my outfit. “Right boi, open your eyes” Master whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes and saw some horny stuff… Firstly there was a leather upper body cross harness with a shiny metal cock ring, like I had seen online that afternoon, then a pair of leather shorts, then a chain with a clip on each end and finally a rubber gas mask. Jeez, if I wasn’t hard already, I was rock solid now. ”Lets get you dressed, slut” Sir said. Firstly my arms were lifted up, and the harness slid over and tightened. Then, Master grabbed my cock and slid the cock ring over to the base and popped my balls through. Master told me to lie on my back, then lifted my legs to slid on the shorts, “Boi, these aren’t any normal shorts, these are chastity shorts, just to make sure you don’t get off when I’m not looking”. He tightened them and added some padlocks. Total lockdown! “Right now boi, lets get you restrained for some training”… Master T led me behind the metal stocks and opened them up “You know what to do”. I put my wrists and neck in the recessions in the metal, the ‘lid’ was brought down and a big metal padlock was added. My legs were then restrained with cold metal shackles. Now it was complete and total lockdown, I wasn’t going anywhere. After stepping back to admire his work, Master T came back over to me and smiled “Want a fag?” He kneeled down on one knee in front of me and lit up a cigarette, blowing the smoke on my face, gawd did I want a smoke! He smoked most of it, teasing my by holding the filter near my mouth but not close enough for me to get a toke. Finally I got a good hit and exhaled. Nice. “It’s getting late boy, I had better get on before its time to lock you up for the night! Hows ur ass like a good ramming?” Master T enquired “Fuck off, you’re not fucking touching my ass” I stupidly blurted out. “Firstly, If I want to fuck you, I will. Secondly, don’t dare speak unless spoken to. Thirdly, you were doing so well, I guess I’ll need to punish you for refusing to accept whats coming to you”. Master T said calmly. “I am now going to have to whip your ass, which unfortunately means pulling down these chastity shorts, luckly there is no moving for you!” He unlocked the padlocks and pulled the shorts down with a sharp tug, my naked, bald ass free in the air. “Count em out slut, or we’ll see how long you last in that cage over there without a fag and only my piss for liquid!” WHACK! It took me a second to get what he meant to count them out “One, Master” WHACK “Two, Master” WHACK “Three Master”. This went on up to 15, by this point my ass was in agony and likely bright red. I was sobbing slightly, “Shut up pussy, that’s nothing” He said. What did he mean that was nothing, it was fucking torture and I couldn’t move to caress my butt.

“Right boi, that is enough for now” Master T said, “Now, lets have some fun, eh?!” Fun sounded good, anything to let me forget about the throbbing pain coming from my ass. Master T then moved to in front of me, ripped off a piece of silver duct tap & whapped it on my gob before I had a chance to protest. He repeated the strips of tape a few times over my mouth and down below my chin until he was confident I was going to be silenced. He then placed the S10 gas mask on my face and tightened the elastic straps behind my head. What a strange, horny sensation! The sound of my own breath through the mask was exciting me, my cock was rock hard swaying between my spread legs. Despite kneeling down on the floor with my legs locked down and my arms and head locked in a stockade, I was very comfortable and felt quite at home here. “Slut, now you are gagged and locked up, I want one nod for yes and 2 shakes for no, got it?” Nod. “Good boi, now, have you ever had anything up your hole?” I presumed he meant my ass-hole. Shake, shake. “Hehe, nice, did you expect to come here and get anything up your hole?” Shake shake. “Well boi, I am not going to fuck your tight little scally hole with my monster cock, I’ll rip you in half… We had better leave my cock out of there for now, agree?” Nod!! “Thought you might ‘say’ that”, haha! Well, the good news is I wont fuck you with my dick, infact tonight, I won’t even make you suck my dick, but you will be sleeping with a butt plug in, do you know what that is?” Nod. I knew exactly what they were, and I didn’t like the look of them. “Eager, I see boi!” Master T laughed as he walked towards his toy chest. After some rummaging around he came back with a handful of black rubber plugs in different sizes and shapes, some even had things hanging off them. Wow, what the hell was I doing here?! “Right boi, new game, I have the a 14cm plug in one hand and a 16.5cm plug in the other hand. I am going to shuffle then behind my back and the one you pick goes up your ass until breakfast tomorrow, ok?” Slow Nod. I saw they both had a wide girth but the larger one was less tapered at the base. “I’m going with your thumbs up to whichever hand you want” Nod. He then shuffled the plugs behind his back and asked the question, “Left, or Right?” I put up my left thumb. “Well boi… you’ve picked…

(Sadly it wasn't finished......if anyone wants to.....)

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fyrecrafted · 4 years

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Rescued. (a fic?)

So Ive been going through hell lately. I really needed to feel some kinda hope through all this darkness so I wrote this. Basically a lot of bullshit Im going through and a happy ending via and old friend Tom Hiddleston... the line between reality and wishes is slim, yet obvious. Written more to help myself get through this than anything. Its quickly written and prob a mess. 1k words

I mentioned the abusive situation I was in a few times online where everyone could see it... but... my closer friends on discord really saw a lot more of what was going on. And not everyone really had the full picture. I was too scared to say it all in one place. I didn't want all that gross toxicity I was living in to be put on any one group's shoulders. One day I got in a really bad headspace. I wanted it to all end. I didnt see a way out. Im disabled, mentally and physically... I can't really work in my current situation (not that I'm not trying, but I seriously doubt the employment services could help me... and, even though I filed for disability I kept getting denied because I couldnt get health coverage to get medical diagnosis... and yeah... I had tried the method you just thought of and no its not available... at least you didn't think of that one idea that one person had 'if you get pregnant you can have medical coverage for 9 months', I really hope you can see how fucking disgusting that idea is... if you can't I don't have hope that explaining it to you would help any.)

No... I do not have any other fucking family that could fucking help... holy shit... DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE HERE IF I DID? Why do people ask these same questions over and over...? On the other hand I do know people are trying to just help and feel powerless to do so... Well... back to where I was... One day I said a lot more about how bad it was... How I was told by my whole family that I was worth less than them because I cannot work... How my mom screamed that she hated me... How I was blamed for every single thing that went wrong, and I was expected to do all the housework even though Im not physically capable of doing so. I was basically a disabled fucking Cinderella... trapped by a world that wont let me escape because I dont have cash... So many people don't see that in this reality money = freedom. I felt so lost... Trapped and up against a wall with no way out. Even if I went to a shelter I'd lose my cats who act as my emotional support animals (lessbe real here, they are service animals but cuz criteria dnt really cover mental issues like ASD they cant be labeled as service animals... fuck that bullshit) and I'd likely have lost all my stuff that keeps me from going into a shutdown. (like my brain will just go into bad chaos mode and shut the fuck off for a bit... like I can do the basic life stuff but no more than that) So... like... big nope for mental health reasons, and prob would fuck with my physical disabilities too... A few hours after I posted about everything I got an anon asking if I would leave if a friend offered me a place to stay. No strings attached. I reblogged an answer: Yeah, if they were gonna take me and both cats and my stuff in and work with my handicaps and I knew they werent gonna use it as a way to murder my face and hide the body. Another Anon: Even if it was in the middle of the night? And the only way was to do it fast? Me: I mean... I'd have to really know 'em and trust them to do that... I'm a little concerned that an anon is asking this though tbh... kinda freaked out man... Anon: Well, you do know me. I promise. I just don't want to advertise my intentions and I can't really DM you atm. So, I'm doing it like this. Im so sorry its causing you added anxiety. Also I've been a long time follower and I absolutely love your work. Me: Yeah... Okay... Sure... Whatever... If you show up bring me a pizza... or something and a redbull and cat treats... lol... seriously doubt anyone would take the time to rescue me... It was late when I posted and several hours later (I have non-24 and no circadian rhythm so being up at weird times is nbd for me) I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a knock. I grabbed my cane and was ready to play whack a mole intruder edition... when I peeked through the door I couldn't believe my eyes... A friend I had so very long ago but lost contact with... Someone I watched online from afar... Someone who was looking at my raised cane with much concern on their face... Tom... Tom fucking Hiddleston...

'You could have asked... if I had known earlier I would have come. Also please put that down.' 'y-y-y-eah.' 'May I come in please. I brought the pizza and rebull.' He grinned 'um, okay. Uh watch out for the cats though. Everything is kinda a mess.' 'I really dont give a damn about the mess. Im more concerned about the shit you've been going through. No one deserves to go through all that. I would like to ask you to move in with me. I'm staying in Georgia at the moment until all this mess clears up and we finish filming. After that we can figure stuff out. I don't want you to worry about a damned thing right now. I want to do everything in a manner that will be the best for you. If something isn't okay let me know. If you need something let me know. Fuck, if you WANT something... LET ME KNOW. Please.'

We ate and chatted and I cried... a lot. We packed up my stuff, and the cats and disappeared into the night. The sun rose as we pulled into the city. A brand new life began for me that day. And I will never look back.

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rostii · 4 years

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quarantine q&a, tagged by the lovely @wjnterbucky (thank u!!)

are you staying home from work/school? yea!! ive been home for almost a month now, all my uni classes are online + you can only rly go out for essential reasons so im. firmly home.

if you’re staying home, who’s with you? my family!!

what movies have you watched recently? what shows? I watched An American Werewolf in London last week which was! disappointing! and i made my parents watch chicken run w/ me bc i was obsessed w it as a kid but somehow they’d never seen it, i spent like the whole second half of the movie so close to tears :( i also watched Ready Or Not which was super enjoyable, I’d really recommend it. I don’t watch much tv but i HAVE been rewatching the Untamed and going ham abt it :^)

an event you were looking forward to that got cancelled? my birthday!! i was excited to go visit my best friend/spend a few days in canberra, there were some talks at the Japan Foundation that got cancelled, and all of my classes that i was rly enjoying :( but this just means i’ll have a lot of exciting social things to do when we can all see each other again.

what music are you listening to? the best question!!! WANNABE by ITZY, losing my mind by montaigne, uhhh this lovely album by joan shelley i stumbled onto, life of the party (and the rest of cape god) by allie x, silent shout by the knife, caramelldansen, and punching in a dream by the naked and famous.

what are you reading? I’m reading a book called ‘threads of life’ by clare hunter which is basically an overview/history of embroidery and sewing, it’s really easy and interesting to read and I’ve already cried quite a bit at parts- its all grounded in historical events/textiles and specific works and theres so much emotion packed into every piece, like quilts made by women who are prisoners of war, fabric samples as a means of identifying the mothers of babies donated to hospitals, sewing as a way of recording traumatic events, commemorative flags, etc. I haven’t picked it up in a few days because the next section is going to be particularly upsetting but it’s been a really good read, something cute from the last chapter was the use of pom poms as a form of decorative protection for children. + I have ‘the Slaughterman’s Daughter’ by Yaniv Iczkovits (for when i can be bothered to pick it up) and also ‘Monsters in the Closet: Horror and Homosexuality’ which i’m still working my way through, slowly. (+ like 6 other dissertations that academia.edu keeps EMAILING me about that all sound so interesting and are all like 400 pages long)

what are you doing for self-care? daily walks!!! my fave time to go walking is about 6/7pm when it’s just getting dark. I’ve also been cooking a bit (a few soups, a few sweet things) and doing my standard amount of handcraft, finishing off some baskets etcalso lots of dancing!! every thursday no lights no lycra have been livestreaming their dance sessions so you can tune into the playlist and dance around in the dark for half an hour in your own home, which i’ve been doing w/ my brother for the last 3 weeks. hot dub time machine did a live mix last week that we danced to as well & alex dyson’s started doing live zumba classes which also look Super fun. so yeah lots of dancing!!

tagging: @sapphoisms, @gracetowns, @rumils, @swcnlake, @moonlud & @chestnuit 💗💗

#LOTS of listening to boom boom boom boom by the vengaboys as part of the dancing agenda

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swinterr · 5 years

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Valerie I

It all started last week, when Shawn dropped the teaser normally Valerie is a very supportive girlfriend but not on this one. He was filming his music video, Valerie is spending time with her family. Finally, the day when the music video drops, Valerie didn’t watched it even the teaser.

Social Media is Social Media some people can call it their safe place but she doesn’t for her, Social Media is a platform where you see what you don’t want to see. For her, Social Media is toxic everywhere you go it reeks negativity well some may had some positive energy with their post but not all, not all. She saw some pictures that she didn’t want to see.

Valerie remembers the day when Shawn told her that he and Camila are collaborating again, His eyes has this twinkling effect that only happened when he’s happy, well he is happy very happy indeed. Valerie congratulated Shawn on his new music video on how the editing looks so good even though she didn’t watched it how Shawn and Camila looked good together, everything she complemented. Days passed Shawn is back touring and Valerie is back at Massachusetts collecting some of her things on her dorm to take home.

Shawn is very busy touring, he enjoys singing, playing guitar, hanging out with his best friends Brian and Connor. Valerie is back home in Toronto with her family. She enjoys reading books, playing archery on their yard and boxing.

Finally it happened while Valerie is getting ready for their like family-reunion-party-for-4th-of-July a picture went viral on the internet.

Valerie is out with her family when she saw the pictures but on particular picture caught her eye, she is sitting on the couch next to her sister Viviane and his husband Seth. Vernon, his brother along with his wife Jess, Vernon talking about his son Milo and Laslo (who are playing with the table designs) with their cousin Andre and Viviane is holding is baby boy named Cupid. The Valentin’s are hosting a party in their hotel in Toronto. She is scrolling down her feed in Instagram, of course being a supportive girlfriend she follows #shawnmendes

Shawn and Camila are kissing, Valerie isn’t really the type of person who will just point out something wrong, she always gathers her information before speaking. Sometimes she will answer your question with a hum as, she hums she thinks about her words she will put in the sentences, she always makes sure she will use it in a good way she also try not to offend someone.

She has enough information with all the pictures she’s been tag in the video and clips of them, she had enough. She puts her phone down the marble table.

“Viv.” She spoked softly. Valerie has a sweet, soft, light and airy voice even if she’s mad or sad she never raises her voice.

Viviane noticed something in her voice she may have a soft voice but she sounds so fragile right now. “Yes Val, something wrong?”

Vernon and Andre stopped talking, all their attention is on Valerie. Even the kids.

Valerie looks so fragile her tired watery eyes glancing up at her sister as she tugs at her sleeves on her off shoulder long sleeved Dolce & Gabanna cotton blend dress, fighting back the tears, she tries to blink faster hoping it will dry but heavy tears started flowing down her rosy cheeks.

“Can I skip the party, I think my febrile response is kicking in again.”

Andre glances at Valerie’s phone. “Oh no.” he gasped. Valerie quickly took her phone back to her clutch.

“Please, I need some time alone.” Valerie didn’t wait for their answer as she walks towards her parent explaining her febrile response which literally just mean fever.

Little does she knows the group of five started talking about the said issue.

She also didn’t wait for her parents response she walked straight to the front door, not minding the paparazzi taking a picture of her crying. Her chauffeur is holding the car door for her.

She got into the car she closes her eyes, taking deep breaths in an effort to stop never ending flow of tears. She didn’t even wait to be home, she needs to talk to Shawn ASAP. She opened her Marc Jacob clutch and took her phone out.

“Hello?” Valerie’s hoarse voice spoke through the phone, she has been crying since the pictures had come out. Nonstop tears keeps on spilling in her $2,600 worth of dress she wore.

She keeps on calling him but no answer, Shawn wasted their 3 years together and she’s not gonna waste more again no answer so she just decided to text him a message.

To: my canada 💞

Hey shawn are you there? I’ve been calling you the last 15 minutes? Are you good? i’m not gonna kept this message long. What happened to us? Did I do something wrong? I though im forever? Were forever? You know what, why did you tell me that you don’t want me anymore, its much easier than you doing this? You said that you’re just friends but I had enough. I can’t be with someone who has allegedly been dating his best friend behind my back. You said this song could be a hit, I believed in you. I hope you’re happy this is the last time that I will tell you this I love you. I love you too much to let go but this is the right thing to do. Focus on things that will make you happy and successful. xoxo

That week has been really painful to Valerie she thought all the things she should have accomplished if she wasn’t with him. She could have graduate, Shawn recently finished his tour in Europe of couse they will go to Italy as one of the places they set and Valerie has an Italian blood loved that country so much that Shawn begged Andrew to take Valerie on tour with him. Sadly, Valerie has to take online classes but it’s okay as long as she is with Shawn.

People in the internet has been taging Valerie a lot, a picture of Shawn and Camila at a diner a 4 ‘o’clock in the morning, him picking her up on her acting lessons. Basically doing what couples are supposedly doing. Shawn isn’t that open and that sweet when they were together. They looks so good.

Valerie remebers that she send Shawn a messege last week, and clearly Shawn is so busy with his lifestyle he didn’t even read it! That week was horrible, Valerie and Shawn lived in the same condo in Toronto and she practically lived in their house in Pickering.

Too bad Shawn fucked the 3 years up. Maybe it’s time for a break. So she packed her bag and zoomed off to the airport on the way to her birth land, basically soul searching. Hoping that at least she will have a good time.

Valerie and Shawn has a bucket list together, they didn’t even finished it. Actually Valerie knew that they aren’t gonna last forever, its either she And Shawn will broke up because of long distance or Shawn being bored at Valerie or Shawn finding someone new in tour, well technically he didn’t find new he just reunited with her.

Shawn’s definition of love is love isn’t something you should chase because then it isn’t real you just kinda let it happend and that exactly what happened to them.

Maybe that’s the reason.

Valerie then made a new bucket list for her to complete.

1. Buy myself a new mansion in Los Angles and sell my old one and donate the money

2. Ride an helicopter

3. Buy an island

4. Study hard! Even if it’s summer

5. LOVE YOURSELF

She didn’t feel making a long one, she will just add something of she want.

Valerie should have graduated college but then she was too focused on Shawn, good thing she didn’t have bad grades. So she shall study and make up for the time she lost.

Turns out Valerie needs to be in LA with her family for a grand opening of their new hotel, maybe she will travel next time, she already contacted her friend Bella Hadid, Bella’s father and her father are friends. Bella knew what Valerie is feeling, I mean the pictures are all over internet, so Bella invited her girlfriends and hoped that Valerie will have a good time.

the real angst is on the next part. also sorry if i disappointed someone in my writing.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #angst #fluff #shawn mendes angst #valerie #shawn mendes imagines

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