#its not like theres rich people on here we all poor
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I cant believe out of all places my parents chose Outer Banks to move too. This place is a shithole, except for the nicer part of town, where the rich live. This place is completely different from where i grew up, a small town In California called Nevada City. Man it was wonderful! the town pop was about 3,000 people and everybody knew everybody. it was home. but this place... in lack of better words; is a complete shithole.
of course my parents being the rich pricks they are, stayed back home to "deal with business" whatever the hell that means for them. so im staying with an old family friend of theirs, great! not..
the driver picks me up from the airport and as we drive to said family friend i admire the scenery. Houses, boats, shacks, homeless people, shops, that was all in the "poor side" as it call it, eye roll, i never enjoyed being rich. i was born into it. my father on the other hand was a made man. He opened up quite a few banks in our little city and recently they have evolved into bigger states/cities, hence the move.
we lived in a big manor on a secluded acreage back home, thats weird to say, i guess its not home anymore. we were close enough to town for me to be able to pop in everyday and work at the local museum, we always had lots of tourists come in and i enjoyed telling people about the history of our town.
i sigh in the back seat of the limo as i think about was used to be home and prepare to make acquaintance with the kings of the island. The Cameron's. my parents told me a little bit about them since id be staying with them until mom and dad could come down here permeantly.
There was Ward Cameron, the father. Rose Cameron, the stepmother. Rafe Cameron, the eldest. Sarah Cameron, the middle child. and Wheezie, the youngest of the bunch. They seemed noraml enough and i was kind of excited to make some new friends.
we pulled up to the house and man oh man. Ive seen some houses in my day but heck! seeing all the worn out building on the way over? the hosue has two stories and is white, it almost looks like the white house!
my eyebrows raise to my forehead as we drive up the long driveway and stop at the front of the house. the driver comes to my side and opens the door, ugh i hate being waited on, "thank you, Scott. You dont have to worry about my bags, i can carry them" i tell the older gentleman who looks like he should be in a retirement home with his white hair that is swiped back and covered by that redicioulse chauffer hat and that outift that sits loosely on his visible scrawny bones. "No worries Miss, Morales, its my pleasure." he smiles as he wobbles over to the trunk and takes my luggage.
"You must be Avery!" a feminine voice beams as she embraces me in a hug. Ugh, i do not like being touch. This town is just getting better and better. "im Rose Cameron, welcome to our home" she introduces herself and i take a step back examining her, she has blonde hair that comes down to about her shoulders and its pampered to perfection. She wearing a baby pink dress that hug's her curves magnificently. she has gold dangly earrings on and black thin heels, the kind that a sophisticated women would wear, shes beautiful but theres something about her i dont really like. "yes, hello" i smile back at her. "thank you for being so kind as to take me in" i tell her "oh nonsense, your parents are lovely people and we told them wed be happy to let you stay with us. as long as it takes"
As long as it take? what is that supposed to mean. does rose know something i dont, should i be worried?
i scratch the thoughts from my mind as we step into the estate, its beautiful, the twisting stairwell that leads upstairs and the gigantic chandelier that dangles in the middle. "wow, very beutiful Mrs. Cameron" i say as i take a look around "oh please, call me rose" she smiles, theres a viscousness in her smile, its fake. Ive seen it before, from my own mother none the less.
"let me show you to your room, the driver has already set your luggage in there" she says as she leads me up the staircase.
we walk into one of the many guest rooms, but this one is mine. the walls are a shade of gold and its oddly comforting. theres a large king bed in the center of the wide room and a balcony that hovers over the green grass and water thats seen in the distance. The bathroom is in the room and seems to connect to the room next door, i wonder whose room that is, probably another guest room.
"ill let you settle in and once your done you can come down for dinner and meet the rest of the family" rose smiles at me as she shuts the door and lets me settle.
i take a momment scanning the room, theres not much in it besides a closet, a bed, some nightstands, and curtains that fall along the frames of the windows. its much bigger than my room back home. i decide not to unpack everything, i dont plan on being her long, i hope.
I decided to take a shower, i was in a plane for 15hrs overall.
I wash myself with some shampoo that is in there, it smells like cedarwood and ginger, an odd mix but also strangly comforting. i lather my hair and body and let the hot water relax my built up tension.
once i hop out of the shower i wrap a towel around my body and head through my bedroom door, i stop and stare at the door across from mine, i wonder whose room that is.
i walk up to my luggage and pull out a mini plaid green skirt with a matching top, i dry my hair and let the pin-straight black strands flow down my back
i step out of the room at about 7:20pm and head downstairs, the smell of chicken infests my nostrils and my stomach grumbles, i hadnt even realized i didnt eat much today. i stride into the dining room and everybody is in there seats, except for two open ones, mine and i presume rafes, whose is empty.
"ah, there she is!' Ward speaks as he stands and rounds the table to me "Avery Morales, Sir" i say extending my hand. Ive learned my manners from talking to my father, he is a kind man when he wants to be but money changed him. he and my mother have both become vicious and would do anything to fill their wallets. its sad really, we used to be the perfect little family in Nevada and we still are, were, but with much darker secrets now, thats a story for another time.
"Im happy to welcome you to our humble abode Miss Morales" he says pulling my chair out for me. The empty chair is beside me while who i presume are sarah and wheezie sit across from me and ward and rose sit on opposite ends of the table.
"Im sarah" the girl to the left in front of me says. She is gorgeous, she has a tan that sticks to her skin like its her natural color and dirty blonde hair that flows down her shoulders and chest, her lips are plump and full and her eyes sparkle with kindness, i like her. "Wheezie" peeps the little girl next to her, shes young, maybe 13 or 14. She had black hair thats braided in two braids and glasses that frame her face.
"lets eat!" rose cheers as we dig in
we finish dinner and i insist on helping clear the table but ward says they have staff that do that and that i should get some rest because ive had a long day. Hes right im exhusted. I got to know sarah quite a bit, wheezie doesnt talk much. it seems like nobody really notices her and they all just ignore her whenever she trys to speak up. But sarah told me about the island a little bit and even said shed introduce me to some friends tomorrow.
I walk up the stairs and head for my room but i couldnt help thinking about the empty chair next to mine. why wasnt he at dinner? does he not live here, does he even exist. My mind is heavy with thoughts as i walk to the bathroom and turn the doorknob, that weird, i didnt leave the light on
"oh my god! im so sorry!' i squeal as i cover my eyes.
There is Rafe. standing. naked. in my bathroom, well, our bathoom. I guess i found out whose room is next to mine.
Pt2
@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx
#outer banks#rafe cameron#drew starkey#smut#dark rafe cameron#outerbanks#drewstarkey#drewstarkey smut#rafecameron#fanfic#rafe fluff#dark rafe
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footballers as taylor swift songs
requested by my swiftie in Christ @yudgefudge!! thank you luv <3
leo: you're on your own, kid. ive been associating him w this song way before i knew that everyone else was doing the same lmao. it rlly does encompass his entire journey, from humble beginnings n jus being a little kid playing for fun (from sprinkler splashes/to fireplace ashes), to being the best in the world n all the struggles that come with it (i search the party.../just to learn that my dreams arent rare). the man gave his blood sweat n tears like hed be saved by a the "perfect kiss" which here is a metaphor for the wc obviously. n ohmygosh "everything you lose is a step you take"!!!! BRUH???!?!?! every line, from "i didnt chose this town (ie paris)/i dream of getting out/theres just one who could make me stay", to "the jokes werent funny, i took the money/my friends from home dont know what to say" are all SO leo coded.
ney: anti-hero. i ADORE him n theres a lot of people that like him. but theres also a lot of people who like not liking him. hes one of the best in the world, and as great as that is, he has, unjustifiably so, garnered a significant amount of haters (its me, hi, im the problem, its me/at tea time, everybody agrees). hes rlly endured a ton of it throughout the years, but keeps going (pierced through the heart/but never killed). after facing so much backlash, youd probly worry about the people that still support you and how much longer you can hold on to that (one day i'll watch as youre leaving/and life will lose all its meaning). also, hes a rich person. which makes the bridge pretty relatable for him but like in a funny way.
gavi: nothing new. this one is more based off my inner musings than actual like evidence. i have no idea whats going on this lil dudes head. but i know that IF i were in his position, i'd relate to this song a FUCK TON. its basically a song abt being in the spotlight, n being the shiny young thing that has peoples attention. but what happens when thats not true anymore? (Lord, what will become of me/once ive lost my novelty?) what happens in a few years when an even younger prodigy comes around n impresses everyone? (are we only biding time 'til i lose your attention?/and someone else lights up the room?/people love an ingénue). im not gonna write down the whole birdge but its basically abt the inevitably of meeting your replacement. the song basically asks: "will you still want me/when im nothing new?" he seems like a happy dude who probly doesnt think abt this stuff, but if i were a famous promising young soccer player, this stuff would definitely weigh on my mind.
muller: the story of us. Lord forgive my mullendowski heart. i tried to think of a song that would fit jus him n leave shipping out of it but,,, yeah it wasnt happening. in my mind theyre a package deal. anywho the song's about being around someone youre still in love with after youve broken up (now im standing alone in a crowded room/and we're not speaking and im dying to know/is it killing you like its killing me). ik theyre on good terms n all but in my mindbrain i imagine him them being in the same place for the first time since lewy left him bayern and poor thomas jus "nervously pulling at my clothes/and trying to look busy." and my gosh "but you held your pride like you shouldve held me"??? the AUDACITY. i can go off about this whole song tbh. oh n also even tho speak nows a country album this song is kinda,,, rock/punk-ish kinda??? which is to say, its very loud. much like a certain someone. fun fact i almost put seven for him bc of "before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/anytime i wanted" but i figured one line wasnt enough for me to put the whole song.
mbappe: evermore. this is a brooding song. a depression song. so i can definitely see this as a post 2022 world cup final song for him. it actually relates to a sports loss very well. (i used to listen to this song n think a oikawa from haikyuu,,, heh). if theres one thing abt mbappe its that hes dedicated. i can see him "replay(ing) my footsteps on each stepping stone/trying to find the one where i went wrong," yknow, jus thinking abt the final over n over. very "i rewind the tape but all it does is pause/on the very moment all was lost." but at the end of it all, hes young, hes talented, n has more world cups ahead of him. ie: "i had a feeling so peculiar/this pain wouldnt be for/evermore."
klopp: dear reader. this whole song is just advice. its taylor dishing out advice to her fans, most of whom are younger than her. kloppo loves his players, he wants to give them good advice that applies not only on the pitch, but off it as well. (dear reader/bend when you can, snap when you have to/dear reader/you dont have to answer, just cause they asked you) however its no secret that our lovely manager can be pretty hard on himself. so its possible that while he gives advice to those he loves, he feels like hes not worthy of giving it (you wouldnt take my word for it/if you knew who was talking).
again, everything stated is speculation, fueled entirely by my delusional lil mindbrain. as i dont know these ppl.
#im sooooooooo sorry i didnt put as many as i normally do this was TOUGH#like youd think this would be easy for me but a lotta the times i'd find a song that i can only connect a player to a single lyric of#so it was a struggle#also i put my WHOLE ass into this so i WILL do a shameless reblog if i see fit#leo messi#neymar#gavi#thomas muller#robert lewandowski#mullendowski#kylian mbappe#jurgen klopp
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Hello! Im so sorry to bother but i just got back into Lost again and charlie has given me brainrot especially Trans Charlie and i was wondering if you had any specific hc or things like that? I really love Hurleys and Charlies friendship and i always feel when he finds out he's not only super supportive but also super chill
oh gosh! you're not a bother at all!
i do have specific trans charlie HCs and i never get to talk about this so thank you!
tw: references to trans/homo/biphobia both external and internal. and trans subject matters like transition, dysphoria, surgeries etc
there are many many words under here. so many :)
charlie realised he's trans when he was 5, that is to say, he realised he's a boy pretty much as soon as the concept of Boy could take root in his mind. picture 5 year old charlie walking into the kitchen and loudly announcing "i'm NOT a girl, i'm a BOY" to his parents and liam
the reaction is mostly amusement. liam laughs because he's 7. but yeah i do think his family assumed this was like, a tomboy phase that charlie would grow out of with time. but were still very cool with it. simon notes "i have two boys now ^_^", and megan offers to cut charlie's hair, which he happily accepts, he hated looking like a girl
over time it's clearly not a phase but the notion of charlie = boy, son, brother becomes second nature to the pace family. liam gets in the habit of calling charlie "baby brother" so he doesn't accidently call him his sister and that nickname sticks forever
so basically charlie's family is not transphobic. like i imagine the worse you'd get from these three is ignorant/well meaning comments. (and yes, simon was more bothered by charlie being a musician than him being trans. bless your strange heart, papa pace)
any bigotry charlie suffered in life, both from being trans and bi, was mainly from school and people he met outside of home (like, nasty groupies for example). i imagine he received slurs that typically apply to sapphic people. because his schoolmates assumed he was a butch lesbian. i can see charlie wishing they'd call him the right nasty words
charlie has a vicious combination of confidence and insecurity so theres bursts of "yeah i'm a bloke, i'm bi, what of it" and other times deep internal shame. and he's catholic too so that adds to the uh oh soup. i mention him being bi because i feel that adds to his guilt, like this notion of "even if i'd stayed a girl, i'd still be doing something wrong. i'd still be wrong"
and i think this shame and insecurity ties into his promiscuity, because he has this desperate need to be desired and validated. people wanting him, taking pleasure from him, gives charlie a sense of self worth. same with his need to be useful and have attention, etc, basically all that fucked up charlie jazz (...or punk rock, as it were)
ahem, heh, didn't mean to go down that road but writing meta about charlie is such an easy well for me to fall into. it's a rich tapestry
in regards to hurley. 2004 was a different time (gosh that feels weird to say) but i don't think its out of character to imagine hurley is cool with it. he doesn't fully, like, get it but he's like "that's great, dude" and that reaction is always a relief to get. hurley is the cis straight friend we all deserve. i think there are lost characters who would be weirded out by this or needed it explained to them but hurley is [thumbs up]
okay now an assortment of trans charlie headcanons/notes
teenaged charlie had the whole slouching in baggy shirts thing going on (making him look rather grunge). as soon as it was legal for him to get top surgery, he had it, he hated those things. so he had it done at 18, so by the time of LOST, twas 10 years ago and thus i imagine his scars are almost totally faded. you'd have to get real close and if you did you'd notice they're a tad janky because like, charlie was a poor street busker from manchester, he had to go for a really cheap option but hey it got the job done
he did try wearing a binder (i say binder, it was bandages) but he stopped because it was fucking up his ability to sing. it suits charlie that he'd put his musical ability over his physical well being. so most of the time that he had tits he made do with sports bras
side note: age 12 to 16 charlie was in The Worst Mood Ever. teen charlie makes adult charlie seem composed and rational. just a hormonal mess of anger, rebellion, poor posture, dysphoria, sexual discovery, messy greasy red streaked hair, FUCK THE SYSTEM THE WORLD ISN'T FAIR I HATE EVERYONE. with periods as a cherry on top. i just wanted to put the image of teen charlie in your head. i'm just being condescending for funsies, cuz pouty grumpy charlie is cute, but he really did have a lot to be upset about. teen years were rough for charlie, is what i'm saying, his main sources of joy being music, [redacted] and the few friends he had (liam and the other two members of driveshaft). oh and sweet food
but i digress
he has not had bottom surgery. if you asked him why he'd joke "what and give up multiple orgasms?" but the real reason is that charlie has very powerful drive to become a father one day and part of that desire includes with his own. body. so he's kept all the parts needed for that Just In Case. and yes, doing that would majorly trigger his dysphoria but people aren't always rational, charlie least of all. he's a barrel of conflicting emotions. he has good days and bad days in regards to his lower anatomy
charlie takes T patches. i chose these for practical reasons because he's on an island for 3 months. he wears them under his arm and claire assumes they're nicotine patches until she knows charlie is trans. he's wearing each patch for 3 days or more days instead of 1 day like he's supposed to, in order to make 'em last. charlie is clearly an already moody person, but man the concept that charlie is having hormonal issues too really adds to it
and thats something that i really love about my trans charlie headcanon is that i can think of so many canon things that make it make sense. like, the baby brother thing but also
physically: charlie is short, looks rather different to his brother (rounder face) and is hippier than the average cis man. and also charlie has a tendency to puff out his chest (going the opposite of his terrible slouch days cuz now he's titless babey). these are just aspects of dom that happen to work out well for this
story wise: in the show we only see charlie as a child and a grown adult, as such making it easy to fill in first puberty pre transition teenaged charlie off screen. he's possibly 18 in that desmond flashback so cutting it a tad close but i imagine he's had hormonal arrangements for himself since he was 16. and hormones really are fucking magic. also artistic licence, because at the end of the day i am still talking about somebody played a (presumably) cis guy actor
personality: well, besides the aforementioned hormonal mood swings. okay, the stuff i'm gonna say about charlie is not how i see all trans men. i just think being trans ties into certain aspects of charlie's manner. i mentioned before his desperate need for validation, to be useful, to be loved. charlie is really overcompensate-y, he's trying too hard All The Time, one could see that as him like overperforming masculinity. look, charlie has issues, and its clear as day he really really wants to slot himself into the role of husband, father, provider, protector. not inherently a bad thing and certainly not inherently a trans man thing buuut i think it fits. ties into the idea that most of his life charlie has felt the need to constantly prove himself, and that includes things like: a good musician, a good catholic, somebody who can take care of people he loves, being even worthy of love and. being a Real Man. all wrapped up in one confusing mess of a psyche
nah, i got more, still going. furthermore, i don't think charlie being trans is the only reason he's insecure (a rich tapestry) but what if one of many reasons charlie has his nasty jealousy issues with claire is that he thinks so little of himself that he's deeply afraid claire will leave him for a "Real Man". toxic masculinity hurts us all bro. and its not even like charlie is some kind of hypermasculine dudebro or anything like that (he wears nail polish and eyeliner for one thing. he's punk rock) but some odd harmful attitudes come out in subtler ways
to be clear i don't think charlie doubts he is a man but the human mind can be a total fucktruck and i'll say it again: charlie is insecure
anyways. charlie doesn't have a deadname, he was born charlie and he will die charlie. and another neat thing is that theres nothing in the show to suggest that charlie is a variation on charles. he is simply charlie. his middle name "hieronymus" was added by him though, obviously
he had a dildo/strap on packed with him but it was lost to sea during the crash. rip charlie's cock [plays off key flute version of my heart will go on]
he's not out to the wider public. basically in my version of ~canon~ the only people who know are his family, claire and uhh, well, the dozens upon dozens of people he's slept with (charlie's desire to keep this secret vs charlie's rampant desperate lust: the latter always wins). you would think rumours would spread and you're right! but charlie also spreads rumours, sneaky boy. yeah, i heard that the bass player of driveshaft has a big thick cock. a friend of a friend told me, trust me
basically trashy cringe inducing english tabloids have had some things to say about our dear charlie. which only serves to make the concept seem more unbelievable and silly to people. which, as backhanded as that sounds, works for charlie!
i realised i hadn't mentioned this yet: claire is very cool with this. charlie had never been so nervous to come out to somebody in all his life, because he loves claire so much, but once she understood what charlie was telling her (different time, claire didn't know that trans men existed), she rolled with situation. claire's a sweet girl, she's grown up uninformed about queer stuff (and she's bi but thought she was straight until kate) so i imagine her saying some not quite right things but she doesn't have a bigoted bone in her tiny body
and claire never betrays charlie's trust and keeps his secret forever (yeah at least 50 groupies know charlie's trans but thats not the point. it's the principle of the thing)
so yeah. there's defo more, if i like got into more specific scenarios, but thats the gist of what comes to mind and it was still quite a lot, so! thank you for your time
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eyy tell us about the book you fuckin hate! i would love to hear about it!
Ok so its called atlantis grail and right off the bat it breaks 2 of my big rules when writing a story: 1 the main character is an ugh im different because i read books character (it gets so much worse too) and 2: there is a utopia world (atlantis)
The general plot of the book is that earth is about to be destroyed and the atlanteans have come back to earth (they used to live on earth but they left) to collect like 2000 15-24 year olds or something like that. So all people in that age range are put through these tests so that only The Best make it to atlantis (are you getting eugenics vibes from this? Because i am!) I remember there was a wheelchair kid but i don't remember what happened to them. They probably got rejected on account of. Wheelchair. Im not fucking joking. These kids are basically being trained to be warriors.
Warriors who can sing because all atlantean tech is song based? Shenanigans had happened and main character was about to get expelled but like as shes being brought to the office a thing falls on her and the person taking her to the office and mc SCREAMS but its like singing and she has like a special singing voice that makes her extra good? So they cant expel her??? This came out of nowhere no one in her family was a singer iirc and because all the other people with the special singing voice are dead so shes just like adored by everyone now. Fucking plot convinence powers is what she got. Its unclear if her siblings also have the special singing power. That should not be unclear. She's already got a "im better than everyone here because i read" and now she's all "im better than everyone here because i read and have special singing powers and dont care about said singing powers" like girlie shut the fuck upppp!!!!(Theres also this like. 4 sector thing that everyone is divided into. And she and her sibling are all in the same sector which isnt a crime but it is very boring because like. I wanna know what the other sectors are doing?)
Also, atlantis fucking sucks? I dont know a lot about it because i gave up on the books before i got there but apparently they have poor areas? Which is like. Ok so its not a utopia. "Um aktshually it issss those people could be rich if they tried" SHUT THE FUCK UP. what really reaaaaally gets me is that they 3d print all their meat so they dont have to kill any animals. I didnt ask if they 3d printed other foods as well because thats just. Thats just easier. I was too busy being weirded out by the notion that we should separate ourselves from the food we consume. You think you are better than a snake or a bear? You think you are better than an owl? For shame. For shame. "Not everyone eats meat" yeah yeah lol the poor people who live on the coasts eat seafood which like. Not what would happen in real life? The rich would be enamoured by the idea of eating meat straight from the source so they would force the poor people to fish and hunt for them while they fed those same poor people off brand 3d printed meat slop.
Anyway i was willing to deal with all that but the straw that broke the camels back was when she introduced a shy lesbian character who rarely spoke but then had 1 interaction with THE MAIN BULLY GIRL and said "damn she has a nice rack" and i went OH OK you dont understand shit and youre not willing to change your ideas. If you think A SHY LESBIAN would act like a dudebro in front of friends she just met, about a girl who was just an asshole to all of them. She Would Not Fucking Say That. Shut the fuck up author lady. (In essence it appears as though she thinks all attraction to women is the same, all consuming, sexual, abrasive, and wrong. Compare this to how our main character feels when she crushes on a guywhich makes her go from "ugh im better than you all" to "owo omigosh hes so hawt do u think he noticed me???" Shut the fuck up)
So yeah this is a steaming hot DO NOT RECCOMEND from me bestie :)
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what day is it?
thats right!
and it's my 3 year vegan anniversary! :D
to celebrate the day i made my favourite food, because i love food and can still eat my favs no problem!!
maki sushi with extra firm tofu. tastes p much exactly like i remember.
medovik! 9 layer russian "honey" cake. only date syrup instead of honey, and soy and coconut cream.
my mother used to make this for birthdays. its my favourite cake, but since you gotta bake 9 layers, it takes a bit too make. but SUPER yummy.
its been 3 years since i went vegan and i wanted to think back on my life as vegan so far.
i went vegan after i watched cowspiracy and right after earthlings.
except, thats not quite true.
no staunch meat eater just goes and watches cowspiracy and earthlings and goes vegan. (unfortunately! otherwise thered be way more vegans, haha, if we could simply convince meat eaters to do that.)
no, my vegan journey started way earlier.
i always loved animals. (who doesnt?) in university, back in 2011, i went vegetarian for about half a year. because i felt bad for the animals. it was a sudden, random decision, i dont remember what brought it up. but i only lasted half a year. why? i didnt do any research. none at all. i just figured, okay, not eating literally animals is great! animals dont die for milk and cheese so its fine.
i guess even back then i was too afraid to know the truth.
then, a few years later. corona just became a thing. i got sick. didnt get tested, because there was "no way" i could have. i went on a walk, for my health, with my ex, and i went on a rant about vegans.
i said how much i hated them and their hypocrisy. how vegans were responsible for making poor quinoa farmers even poorer. (yes, really! i said that!)
half a year later i was vegan.
how did that happen?
well, see. i used to feel very anxious about climate change. actually, i started feeling anxious about climate change back in elementary. consider we had started doing something about it back then, huh?
anyway. i felt... powerless.
"feeling ohnmächtig" is what i called it in german. translated its feeling unconscious. or. feeling powerless. helpless. without power to change.
there was nothing i could do. im just a single person. not a politician, not an employee of a company lobbying for less environmental restriction, not a rich person.
just a regular, normal person. no power. no way to change anything.
knowing that didnt make me feel any better, however, strangely enough.
i discovered zero waste. it was at least something. i wasnt overconsuming anything already, i tried zero waste. to alleviate at least some of my guilt and feeling of helplessness. if i at least do what i can...?
well, funny enough: all the people on youtube that made videos about zero waste were vegans. all of them. but they were not those pushy, mean, militant, crazy vegans. no, they were nice. telling their viewers to reduce plastic, simply stuff.
one of them posted a video on why she went vegan.
i didnt watch it for some time. made me uncomfortable. and it didnt matter, either. i was never gonna be vegan. i couldnt. me, vegan? no way in fucking hell. absolutely impossible.
well, i watched it.
here it is, if anybody is curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgKML9GtCs
And, well. It got me thinking. I could relate to a lot of the things she said.
Well, I went on. Tried bar shampoo, and less plastic, I ate more tofu and veggies in general. Kept watching their videos.
One day, I realized I had to watch Cowspiracy. I had to. For myself. For the environment. (It's what I told myself.)
So I did. I watched Cowspiracy. I sobbed. Decided to go vegan for the environment. And then I watched Earthlings. And decided to go vegan, for the animals.
And that was 3 years ago.
Right at the beginning, I was very sad. Hurt, upset, and angry. I was grieving. For all the animals I hurt, for all the animals that were currently being killed and tortured, because I suddenly saw all that pain around me. In the grocery store, during meal times, it was everywhere. I couldn't escape.
The pain lessened after some time. Then I got angry. Very angry. Those who have followed me way back probably can remember. I was just SO fucking angry. At other people that still dared to eat meat, at corporations and restaurants and politicians and-- mostly myself.
I knew it, deep down, that eating animals wasn't okay. That's why I went vegetarian. I did care, but I was too much of a coward to really learn the truth. I was angry for going that long, refusing to accept the simple truth:
Animals don't want to be eaten. And they don't deserve to be treated the way they are treated now.
It's been 3 years and I definitely calmed down a lot. I still got angry from time to time, but overall I'm definitely way more calm about this.
And... I've been trying to think of the best way to convince others to go vegan. I don't think there is one foolproof way. And as good as being angry and mean may feel at that moment, that probably isn't the best way to convince others. But I don't think complimenting somebody into baby-stepping their way into it, is it either.
I think... the main way people turn vegan is the emotional route.
You CAN rationalize yourself into turning vegan. Like that one philosopher youtube guy.
But you can't rationalize yourself into staying vegan. Because humans aren't rational. You can have the best rational arguments for something, but then one day you get home drunk after going out with friends, there's a cold burger in the fridge and you're hungry and it's probably that you eat it. That's how I stopped being vegetarian.
But if people learn the truth, and learn about the pain animals go through by watching Earthlings or Dominion, that's a whole different ballgame.
So, what's the verdict?
I'm glad I'm vegan, I'm glad I'm no longer that overly angry and I hope I can at least show people it's possible to live a happy life with good food even as a vegan.
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Diary of a Horror Buff 8.25.22
Ugh so I have a little bit time off of work so on top of maybe buying a car this week I also get to finish up our Augest Movie Challenge.
so yeah theres a lot going on in the meantime.
so lets get into lets watch some good good stuff and enjoy ourselves.
A View From a Hill (2005) dir. Luke Watson
So I was originally going to watch The Sixth Sense cause its on my bucket list but then I was like um I have to go to work in the morning so lets watch something a little bit less involved.
so A View From a Hill is the first episode in the remake of AGSFC. I wasn't originally planning on watching the remake but you know fuck it I deserve nice things.
This one was actually pretty ok random dude goes on holiday to look at old stuff and borrows a pair of binoclers. the binocaloers, (wowo I can't spell) are like cursed or something and can see into THE PAST.
I honestly don't remember how this ends its a lot of dudes running through a forest or something.
My main issue in this film is THE FASHION CRIMES.
So the main character casually get up are pants at the hip, a button-up shirt, tie, and sweater vest, which he pairs with a very interesting jacket.
the jacket that started this entire fucking bullshit.
This Jacket is Hip Length, has elasticized ribbing, and a zipper. all of these aspects point towards the 1940s, first because waistlines were a bit higher in the 20s and 30s and when waistlines were hip lever around the 10s, neither zippers or elastics were in mass production. (they were around but became more available near the end of the '30s, rememeber the whole Zipper Fly debacle).
compare this to a A2 Flight Jacket from world war 2
notice how the silloutte is similar obviously his jacket has lapel instead of side pockets, a smaller elastic waistline, and lacks the epilets but the other elements are there.
the late 1940s adopted military clothing into mainstream fashion which is why we say things like Peacoats, Aviators, T-Shirts, and Bomber Jackets suddenly being worn by civies, and of course the new-fangled teen-agers.
so yeah this guy is pretty accuretly dressed in a 1940s style. while the sweatervest wasn't exclusive to the 1940's men began to dress less formaly due to fabric restrictions form wartime meaning that more casualy styles of clothing became the norm from the three piece suit standard. (understand here that I'm talking mostly about middle class clothing, the upper and lower classes had different trends).
The classic sweatervest look. also notice the wristwatch this will be important.
so your like Ok this movie is set in the 1940s ryen so what we don't care about when elastic became available for poor british people.
who is this bitch
ok look at the man on the left. he is wearing a three piece tweed suit, a double albert watch chain, and a flat cap.
This man is straight out of the 1920s. yes while all of these elements would play off into the 30s and 40s these elements are very stereotypically 1920s.
Now he is the only man who wears a hat when he is outside and the only time that the main character wears a waistcoat is during dinner once again implying that this is the 1940s and they are following those clothing norms and etiquette. But for me this implies three possibilities.
The Men are the same age, (around 35), and one of them chooses to dress like his father. Understand this would be like somebody like markiplier (33) dressing like he was an extra on the fresh prince of bel air.
Markiplier one of those people who is insanely hot but I can't tell if its sexual or just aestetic.
ok this is not a great parallel because modern fashion just went through a 90's phrase but you get my point.
2. I'm bad at telling ages and the rich guy is actually in his fucking 50s and therefore is just settled into his own personnaly style.
3. they just put the wrong jacket on this guy and I'm overthinking this.
The point is that I didn't really get into this movie cause I was too busy trying to find solid information about the popularity of double Albert Watch chains in the 1930s.
Ok now that I got that out of the way lets talk short films.
vimeo
Baboon (2012) dir. Einar Baldvin
CW: Flashing Lights
Wow a lost Gordys Home clip.
ok so this is a surrealistic animated film full of swirling naxious imagedry and disjointed fragments. Placed over a shifting randbow background.
I'm not sure what this movie is about, social anxiety maybe, but it defintely is some kind of vibe.
also I kind of hate mickey mouse as this a motif for ironic post modernism. Oh look at me I'm micky mouse snorting a line of coke off a hookers tits. It just feels kinda childish. obviously people are entitled to make art however they feel like but I feel like theres better digs into Pop Art then family friendly thing but edgy.
compare
Idk I think I'm just being a bitch at this point.
vimeo
The Harvest (2016) dir. Jorge Jaramillo
AHHHH ITS THOSE KIDS FROM POLAR EXPRESS.
ok so a little girl wakes up on christmas ever goes downstairs to see santa but instead of santa its like dead babies and a shirogami so thats a fun take for the holidays.
youtube
Porky Pig in Jeepers Creepers (1939) dir. Robert Clampert.
ok so porky is a cop in this one so I mean i didn't want to do this but ACAB guess you can go fuck yourself.
so in this one Porky Pig the Pig goes to investigate a haunted house and honestly this one is able to set up some pretty strong atmoshphere the backgrounds are detailed, the animation is fluid, and theres some fun gags here. Like a ghost picking up a cigar smoke ring and dunking it into his ghost coffee like a ghostly apple cider donut. FUck that sounds good.
Now I do want to state this is a solid cartoon but I don't know I just like Fleisher better. Theres something about how unhinged those cartoons are and the song in this one is kinda meh.
Cab Calloway is just an amazing singer and I need his sultry fuck me voice while I watch fucked up animated shit.
this ones form Betty Boop's Snow White.
well fuck, they literally ended this short with black face so we don;t love that the fuck.
youtube
Mickey Mouse in The Mad Doctor (1933) dir. David Hand
Y'know maybe I just don't like disney and I'm taking it out on this falsetto rodential minstral.
but on the other hand he literally chains up Pluto in his yard so like can we really trust him.
This one is alright Mickey Mouse dog Pluto gets kidnapped by a mad scientist and has to rush into his castly lair to save him. Shenanigans, (angry skeletons and sadistic torture), ensue.
youtube
Skeleton Frolic (1937) dir. UB Iweks.
Ok so theres a lot of baggage to this one. So UB. Iweks was involved in quite a few different shorts with disney including silly skeletons and Mickey Mouses Haunted House. this is apparently a soft remake of everyones favorite silly symphony which honestly good for Iweks be petty king we see you.
youtube
Flip the Frog in Spooks (1932) dir. Ub Iweks.
Ok so another vagualy famalier set up this time Haunted House. We start off with Flip the Frog in a rain storm coming by a mysterious old house. In the house is surprisingly a really nice skeleton in a top hat.
So I will say it disney was kinda a hack. This one was so much fun. there were some good jokes, I love all the skeletons and the way they move and theres some drama here like an actualy plot. Good Shit.
youtube
Taro's Monster Hunt (1936) dir. Iwao Ashida
ok I know I read XXXholic but seriously what the fuck is going on.
I just love that this is the only thing that showed up for xxxholic. Also this show was kinda gay right.
so what I can tell this is about some samurai, (the discription calls him a Bosko clone, which I don't know what that means.), who fights some Yokai and other traditional monsters.
The really hard part about watching these old animes is that one.
they are not subbed nor dubbed.
I'm not a good enough weeb to be famaliar with the trope language used. I can clearly tell that the boy supposed to be some kind of archetypal character but I don't know shit about the Ero??? period,
overall this one was kinda cool. Its really interesting to see the how a lot of 30s animation shared certain charateristics. I really wonder if this just occured organically or if there was some cross polination somewhere.
Also Danemon's Monster hunt is a lot better cause they had tunikis and Danemon was a dilf.
this was the only clip I could find of it so you'll have to take my world on it.
youtube
The Ghoul [Prai Takian] dir. Unknown
so Letterboxd claims the director is Sodsri Phakdeechit but I haven't been able to cooborate that information.
So this is a really interesting film. so lets talk the cinema of thailand. so if you remember Asia had cinematography for about as long as europe and America did.
So Prai Takian is actually kinda weird for being a silent black and white film made in the 1940s because contemporary films were both talkies and in color at this point. The film lacks any intertitles or endcards which I find interesting this might be because apparently it was popular to include a narrator in asian cinema for silent films so that may have replaced the type of pantomime and intertitles common in western cinema.
This is also a partial lost film the only reason why we know of it is that it was archived by the Thai Film Archive according to one source in 2018.
So badass piece of history.
youtube
Third Dimensional Murder (1941) dir. George Sidney.
Ok so this was definetly cool and kinda hard to watch. So this is a early 3D movie that is using the anagraph system??? Basically its that style with the red and blue glasses.
everyday I wake up to not be looking at the funeral scene from heathers.
this means that 1. this video is hard to watch as I am not wearing old timey 3d glasses and 2. Wow I forgot how classic horror is like kinda racist by a lot.
this is from White Zombie (1932) btw.
Basically a plucky narrator like the one from BOOOO!!!! is like wow look at all these minorities ahem I mean spooky monsters throwing shit at you. Thats crazy.
youtube
The Witch's Cradle (1943) dir. Maya Deren.
So apparently this piece was made post-humorously which is kinda sad.
I really don't know much about Maya Deren through its clear she was an experimental filmmaker.
This film is interesting its told in a series of non-linear vignettes focusing on Strings, The Face, and Mirrors.
Iterations, Versions, Permeations,
Theres this repretition to the work where we see the actresses face over and over again, different angles different takes. The woman is shown through several lens thoughs mirrors and through abstract structures that seem to mimic the aperture of a camera. It also seems that the act of observing, the act of seeing, yourself through a imitation is critical to the film.
theres also a focus on strings connected in a web trying themselves to The Artists? and being manupulated by the women. I think this is something to do about social relationships but to be honest I'm not sure.
Theres also these Brechtain??? (I think thats the word), elements. the use of blank film intercuts the scenes and in several shots wires are clearly visible.
I don't know what this means but I don't think it has to mean anything which is cool so thanks for making this Maya Deren.
Well Kings, Queens, and other monarchs it looks like I hit my 10 video limit so lets call it quits for today. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.
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Alright that’s it I’m blowing my top rn
#im gonna go apeshit in the tags here i cant take it anymore#also this aint about anybody on here i just gotta let some shit out#HRRNNGGG OH MY GOD#our fucking 'friend' making a pass that hes pissed about poor people in his city so now it's ranked 3rd out of the state now#you're gonna get pissed about tHAT?! THERES PEOPLE FUCKING STARVING N SHIT. PEOPLE DYING. and you get pissed bc theres less fortunate?!#THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! oh yeah im sorry that all of us didnt grow up rich and remain that way + you had maids/servants oh what a horror#fucking DICKHEAD. knowing DAMN WELL we are struggling right now. WHAT THE FUCK. we have no food. we dont feel safe here n ya dont do sHIT#also STOP ASKING FUCKING QUESTIONS IM TIRED OF BEING ASKED QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULDVE FIGURED OUR BEFORE STARTING ANYTHING#YOU WANTED TO START SMTHN FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF. now i fucking know why i do shit myself and dont rely on anyone. FUCK. CHRIST.#I WANNA FUCKING SCREAM#i want everything to SHUT THE FUCK UP. STOP. I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE.#i feel like im bout to lose my gotdamn mind#NO WONDER I DO SHIT MYSELF NO ONE HAS THE FUCKING CAPACITY FOR COMMON SENSE OR MORALS. JESUS CHRIST.#no one wants to help anyone either. oh your poor? FUCK YOU. you cant do anything or you dont have common household items? FUCK YOU.#thats what it seems like the world is saying to us. WE DONT FUCKING DO ANYTHING#WE AINT DRUGGIES WE DONT HAVE CRIMINAL RECORDS OR ANY OF THAT SHIT AND THIS IS HOW WERE TREATED?! THE FUCK. and you motherfuckers...#you motherfuckers wonder why the kind people go batshit BECAUSE WE KEEP GETTING SHAT ON BC YOU KNOW WE DONT DO ANYTHING TO GO OUT OUR WAY AN#AND HARM PEOPLE. WE DONT DO THAt. AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET. SHIT ONT. yet the fucking evils of this world get fucking anything they ask#ITS NOT RIGHT AND ITS NOT FAIR. how the FUCK do you sleep at night knowing you treat people like that?! THE FUCK. WHY.#WHY DO YOU CAUSE SO MUCH SUFFERING ON OTHERS. LIFES ALREADY HARD ENOUGH JESUS CHRIST WHY DO YOU DO THIS#i dont fucking get it. why are people so fucking shady. WHY. why do you think thats ok to treat less fortunate so fucking bad. WHY.#i feel like a rabid fucking wild dog ive really fucking had it. i wanna tear throats out and dig into flesh with my nails im so fucking DONE#im so tired of living like this. no one should suffer. this aint right. if im gonna be suffering the rest of my years like this i dont...#i dont want any fucking part of it. But I cant see the future. still. shit like this makes me wonder if its worth it to keep going.#im starting to fucking get snappy. I hate this so much. I'm fucking irritated. frustrated. pissed off. idek anymore at this point.#neigh vents#neigh personal things
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drop the akane and komaeda narrative foils rant 👀 much interest to be had here
[busts out my computer] we're gonna need a bigger keyboard.
BASICALLY it started with me realizing that they have really similar designs. or should i say, really DIFFERENT designs? no, i shouldnt, because their designs are similar and different in i think a really deliberate way.
First and most obvious is the hair. they have the SAME DAMN HAIRCUT, but nagitos is light and akanes is dark, and akanes cowlick flips the opposite way. woah whats this? those arent just differences, those are OPPOSITES, highlighted by similarities. that sounds a lot like those things FOILS have, huh? but maybe its a coincidence, lets look at the rest of their designs. oh, whats this? the colors red and white, prominant in both designs? okay, but those are sort of danganronpas colors— oh, huh. I guess they are the danganronpa colors arent they? well, in addition to black— and would you look at that? the other colors in the two designs are dark ones, with akanes being minimal compared to nagito. but you see, the hair is what you see first, its at the top of the design after all. at first, nagito seems friendly and akane seems to be the more volatile danger to the group, but then those roles flip when you actually get a good look at them. Additionally, we see that nagitos design is incredibly complex, and akanes outfit is incredibly simple. this highlights their opposing ideologies and approaches to life.
Oh, whats that? you want to hear about their OPPOSING IDEOLOGIES AND APPROACHES TO LIFE? About how nagito deals with things by making them COMPLEX and akane deals with them by making them SIMPLE? thats not a jab at akane by the way, she very frequently shows that often times the simple route is the best route. a recurring motif in the game is that her gut feelings, while not detailed, are very trustworthy when it comes to lading the characters down the right path. she deals in the tangible, in the simple, cutting through all the extra bullshit and getting straight to the point of things, to the obvious answers that everybody is too caught up in the moment to see. she deals in matters of the body, the senses, a feeling in her stomach. shes physically fit and healthy, she has a strong appetite for life. Meanwhile nagito is the opposite, he has a strong appetite for death, hes physically ill, he deals in the intangible, in matters outside of him. In the hope of other people, in luck, in complex and difficult to understand plans and riddles. he actively makes things LESS simple, and is adamant about wanting to do so throughout the game. theres a direct link there between them. Theres other examples like this of them having opposing life experiences, too. For example, nagito is exceedingly rich, and akane is very poor. akanes talent is the most physical there is, meanwhile nagitos is the most intangible. they often appear on opposing sides in the game.
Oh, yeah, thats right. they often appear on opposing sides in the game! That, to me, is really what cements it beyond just pure coincidence. nagito and akane are ALWAYS butting heads. i mean christ, she tries to kill him at one point! there are multiple scenes where she tries to fight him, where shes moving the plot forward with her simpleness and hes moving it backwards with his complexity, in direct opposition to each other. She has a very simple answer to the nagito problem: get rid of nagito. nagito himself has a very complex answer to the nagito problem: get rid of nagito. they got to the same place by very different methods, and that happens all throughout the game. akanes gut feelings are often proven right, and so are nagitos complex theories. Akane knew the pillar killed nekomaru just by looking at it, meanwhile nagito had to play a (shitty, aggravating, oh my god this took me so long) minigame, go through a game of russian roulette but more, search the octagon for the weapon, and piece it together by looking through the worlds tiniest window that they were, in fact, inside a normal fucking building in order to figure out that yes, the pillar did indeed kill nekomaru. in game, we're seeing how their directly opposite approaches are leading them to similar results, that despite them being direct contrasts, theyre very similar.
Thus concludes the nagito and akane are foils rant akjsdjflskjk than you for listening i hope i dont sound. insane i just think about this a lot and NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT LIKE. guys.
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What makes BTS most vulnerable
Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!
I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.
Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
So so so so
First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!
Let's start with the group first
So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.
All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?
I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.
The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)
Seokjin
This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.
As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.
As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.
What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)
Yoongi
????
Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?
Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?
Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.
As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.
Hoseok
This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.
And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.
This exposes him to depression and doubt.
Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.
Namjoon
Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.
So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.
So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?
Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?
As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.
As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Jimin
Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.
How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.
As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.
Taehyung
Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.
As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.
Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.
Jungkook
So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.
How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.
The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.
Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.
With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.
The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?
For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?
As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!
~~~~~~~
I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?
My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!
#bts tarot#bts readings#bts reactions#bts imagines#seokjin#jin#suga#yoongi#min yoongi#Hoseok#jhope#bts jhope#namjoon#rm#bts rm#bts jimin#jimin#park jimin#taehyung#bts v#jungkook#jk#jeon jungguk#hoseok#bts
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Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down
Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home
⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77
1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost
2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE
3. Her and moody just talking
4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”
5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”
6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home
7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”
8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it
9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”
10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books
11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded
12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young
13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class
14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”
15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling
16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders
17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive
18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity
19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income
20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others
21. “Theyre just things.”
22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s
23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort
24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry
25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(
26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”
27. Diana giving her things to sell as well
28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????
29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”
30. Jerry singing in French
31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”
32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder
33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop
34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”
35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down
36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her
37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both
38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”
39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”
40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”
41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though
42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker
43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny
44. “What a piece of work you are.”
45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot
46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”
47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s
48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come
49. Gilbert’s back!!
50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”
51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”
52. Them arguing over not arguing
53. Anne apologizing
54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”
55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself
56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”
57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet
58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money
59. “I don’t like the city.”
60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”
61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly
62. “This is a palace, not a house.”
63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house
64. “I’ll look after belle.”
65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”
66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping
67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him
68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”
69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him
70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down
71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”
72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”
73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books
74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”
75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused
76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done
77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do
78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”
79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”
80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”
81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income
82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”
83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!
84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house
85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside
86. Not Nate :(
87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence
#renew awae#awae#anne shirly cuthbert#jerry baynard#mathew cuthbert#marilla cuthbert#josephine barry
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Explanation of batman from what I've gathered from one(1) movie and the fandom. Possible spoilers/wrong things here! Feel free to tell me anything I got wrong!
I only watched under the red hood, which is a jason todd centric movie that takes place afrer his 'death'. but lets start from the beggining.
So, Batman, Bruce Wayne (Wain? Wayne??idk) is a superhero vigilante that fights crime during the night, and he has no parents. He's filthy rich for no reason that I'm aware of. He runs a company??? Idk much about that it aint important.
Bruce adopts this kid named Dick, presumably short for Richard, and Idk his last name?? idk. He's the boy wonder the golden child the first robin all that good shit, then he gets too old and becomes like nightwing or smth. He also has like a team at some point and hes also the robin thats in teen titans/teen titans go
Bruce then adopts a second kid. This kid is like poor and hes from the crime place, his name is Jason Dean- oh no sorry, Jason Todd. Anyways Jason is the second robin, blah blah hes a reckless lad, blah blah hes a weird child, blah blah oh no he exploded-
Bruce adopts another kid! Kinda. That wasnt his plan?? but anyways, this kid is named Tim... uhh I forgot his last name. Drake? Tim Drake? ok thst sounds right lets go. Timmie here finds out that Bruce is batman and decides... "Im gonna blackmail him!" so he does, becomes robin, gets his parents killed- oh god Jasons alive wtf.
So Jason came back to life and he's angry. This is where under the red hood takes place but Tim Drake is not in this movie even though he should be the current robin?? Ok anyways, Jason is angry. He dismantles some crime like a boss but kills people while hes doing that and batmans like no stop, so naturally, Jason doeant. Stuff happens, Jason threatens to kill Joker?? Batman shoots a bat-knife at his gun/neck (its different in different sources, in the movie its the gun) and Jasons like "AAAGH" and I forgot what comes next.
Anyways, after that Batman at some point got a lady pregnant! She brings the resulting child to batman like "hey :)". Turns out this kid, Damian(Damien?) is an asassin thing which is... weird. But we dont need to talk about DCs questionable motives rn. Damian is a whiny ass toddler-like puberty filled teenager, and Batmans like "SWEET I can make that into a soldier!" so he does.
Sidenotes:
•Jasons ressurection was described in two different ways, in one he dug himsrlf out of his grave after just,,,, waking up? In the other he gets yeeted into the green goo lake(lazarus pit) and gets revived by that one guy whos name is definitely middle eastern that I cant remember rn.
•Dick is overly sexualised apparently, and people talk about his butt a lot?
•Tim went to dinner with a guy once!
•Tim also had a girlfriend up until now apparently?
•Tim is also a caffeine addict????
•Dick being hot is a really common thing to point out in fanfics and I cant disagree
•I still have no idea who tf the Joker is but he crowbarred Jason to a pulp and then left him to explode in some place in under the red hood and possibly in the other sources where Jason dies as well
•Batman doesnt like guns because his kom and dad were shot
•He also hates murder
•Alfred is very old by now, considering he was old when Bruce wad a kid, and now Bruce is in shis 40s to 50s?? and Alfred has not died yet???? of old age???? He should! But im glad he hasnt
•Theres a mute lady whos not mute anymore apparently
•Theres also this guy who spreads fear gas thing,, uhh scarecrow?? idk
•Theres this guy called Roy Harper? And he wields a bow and arrow? and people think thst him and Jason should kiss
•Dick got married to starfire at some point but in a later installment Jason has sex with her?
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also naurr okay thoughts before i go into ep 9
- i think ok. the issue NOW is once u start thinking of it, omg, u just dont stop. like oh christ bc with CAITLYN... sigghhhQDOIPSJGDJ. i feel eye-rolly at myself now bc ik its not that deep but omg u kno when u get mildly annoyed for good reason but then it just snowballs bc ur a little petty pest?<3HELP I cant be so mean over this blue haired little girlie...
- but idk maybe i am not. like i think its just. im staring at her more and i think she just really feels... emblematic of the weaker points of the show, you know? which i feel, well, bad for. but like if you had to summarise what it is abt arcane that holds it BACK for me... caitlyn wouldnt be a far shout. and i mean thats not AS dramatic as it sounds: bc like ive said, i like the show! its funnn and theres lots of good stuff in here<3 but the parts that are really holding it back..
- like ive said. the way it plays itself so safely- you know? which again. not much else u can expect from a netflix league of legends show. but also like... nonetheless it is still trying to explore, like, the ideas of corruption and inequality and "class" (im putting THAT in quotation marks) but it goes about it in a very. honestly shallow way where its really not... deeply criticising any of it which again, idk what else to expect from this and i didnt expect more, but also like. when thats a core principle of ur show and ur going to be milktoast abt it yah.... the show itself is gonna be milktoast, yah?<3
- and caitlyn is like at the epicentre of a lot of that. like we have no actual proper criticisms of wealth when it comes to her- not really. and instead shes like... the savior voice of reason figure. like i said. that part before really bothered me where you have ekko and everyone in the firelights who've all been fighting and surviving down there for YEARS now and you walk her in and have her be the "did you guys know that. violence is... bad!" person like idc idc idc... its like i just dont care, girlie.
- and like in general you know. with the clean cut OH THE UNDERCITY IS ALL THE POOR PEOPLE AND THE OVERCITY IS THE RICH PEOPLE and. goodness you must forgive me- its obvious im a stem kid, with an unscrewed head, so im not so good at laying out all my thoughts coherently like this- but again its all a very superficial... well these are the rich people and those are the poor people without... going into very much depth at all, just these like monoliths for the oppressed and the not oppressed. a black and white this and that. but again without- without actually picking it apart!? its all these vague swathes of "theyre poor down there! and its violent down there! we are letting them down!" and its like uh. c-coool............................... and i think its bc you know. if you did actually HAVE to develop the underlying reasons behind tht you would have to get into the unsafe, riskier territory and well... characters like caitlyn would most surely be less and less compelling.
- bc like i said before when also criticisng caitlyn. like. they said it themselves. she abused her power as a cop and as a rich person to sorta just go off whilst on the job, undermine upper authority, and do whatever the fuck she want and she gets out of all of tht bc of who she is. and you can be like "oh! but she was doing it for GOOD!" as they said in the show- but its like noww... exactly, now lets discuss THAT for a second. bc its like no i agree she wasnt doing anything wrong-wrong, but still its like... again. a way in which caitlyn just sort of exists as this barely questioned icon privilege, but then the show also stakes so much onto her to deliver and push forwards plot as a person and im just... yawn. and surely the show wouldnt as, like i said, i dont expect that much of it but its again this very... sigh. you know. SAFE sort of thing. and its the sort of thing that always happens in these fantasy worlds, where they create a make believe the oppressed group and the not oppressed group and try to build up this big thing but its all just sort of smoke and mirrors and not. really much at all more than that
- AND ITS LIKE. it slike- again hey. im gonna reassert. its like... its fine. i guess? its just.. another overly safe attempt to do this whole song and dance. so much is- like jesus. its par for the course nowadays. a kinda emptiness which god thats sobering. but i guess its dressed up in a fun way. and whilst im not gonna come away obsessed with all of this, like ive been saying, i guess im having fun watching it and i'll prolly stick around for the next season and rb some gifsets about depending on the overall temperature of the thing bc lord knows i havent looked in those tags. and i hope im not coming off as too pretnetious lol omg- bc its like... literallyyy i get it if it just scratches a certain fun part for you, bc i have said man the design of this thing is wonderful and i guessif none of this rlly means much then hey. i can see why a lot of ppl would be obsessed with it but i guess its just not wholly clicking for me
- i will also say though. again i do think... not just with safeness. im doubling down on what i said before, actually. i think its well-paced in terms of hey! im not getting fuckin bored here, and you are giving even amount of time to everyone and i do think ur utilising ur time well for what you DO have but ehhhhh gosh idk. i still can sort of... TASTE... a much deeper well developed show, had they more time. you know what i mean? LIKE- i guess its good as it is but its like. man you could elevate so much of this if there was just more dedication to some things.
- like i think medarda is one prime example of like. shes JUST a little undercooked for who she is. like we've got a good idea of her! but my GOD if we could just get more of her- oh fuck, please... bc i just feel like we got some really good moments but i dont know i want more. i want more complexity in here- and more of this and that andt his an dt.. im not sure what exactly but it just feels like shes bigger than what she has been onscreen like gosh
- (which also on tht note is another thing i'd like to clarify with caitlyn like. bc the thing is i wouldnt care if she was a richgirl cop and hell i'd be into the push and pull with her and vi if they, again, just owned that right and weren't so piss cold with it all. like i think you can have these types of characters for fucking sure- just... frame them better narratively you know. yeesh. although granted theres a lot to unspool there wrt like whate- YOU KNOW I CANT EVEN FINISH THESE THOUGHTS MY HEADS MELTING ON THIS line of thinking lemme omggg.)
- but yeah also viktor sighhh. i havent talked of viktor. im just SAD you know bc also with the whole- again... i think its just starting to feel worse and again im able-bodied so taking my perspective with a grain of salt, yah, like... it just isnt sitting right with me how much theyre connecting disability with monstrosity. and i guess its just the tired old, bloody trope of fuckin- hghhrhgh cyberpunk is when YOU LOSE PARTS OF YOUR SOUL WITH BODY MODIFICATIONS! but recoloured and its like again. i think if they did properly have the time to explore this whole thing better you could right that more than what theyre doing now but its like godddd bc literally every single disabled character is either viktor OR theyre a violent undercity person and theyre all succumbing to the shimmer and idk man idk sniff nsiff...........
- speaking of. idk if anyone cares. m besties are vi, ekko and viktor i think. my little guys. :3 i love ekko a lot actually.......... i want more of him. less of, like, whatever the hell caitlyns weird savior bs is and more of ekko fighting for his god damn LIFE please<3 BBYYYYY. god the former espec cially- that shit ROCKED so badly.
- speaking of. idk if anyone cares. m besties are vi, ekko and viktor i think. my little guys. :3 i love ekko a lot actually.......... i want more of him. less of, like, whatever the hell caitlyns weird savior bs is and more of ekko fighting for his god damn LIFE please<3 and ofc i do laso love jinx oh teehee.. i like them. fun guys.
- i do find jayce interesting too. him and merdara. ive said wht i said abt merdara- GOD, i'd fucking love her way more if they did just push her a bit and you know. i like jayce a whole fuckn lot too i think the others are just a bit above them both rn LOL.
- anyways last ep soon i might hmmm i might give it a bit first let myself chill omg i should get hot choccy....
#Egg.txt#arcane liveblog#you know whats funny abt this is like#ive kinda gone into this show completely blind#idk what anyone else rlly thinks of it#I MEAN IK a lot of ppl are jinx fans :3#but thts abt it help....#so idk if this is like general consensus#or what#like i also vaguely knew vi/caitlyn was popular#though hadnt a clue to what extent#i know nothing else abt wht ppl feel abt it#so im like just shrugging#idk if im spouting a load of shit ppl have said a billion times ove#r or what
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sadly not a french exclusive thing, as europeans we're very into this whole "americans have nasty unhealthy eating habits" bs that leads a ton of ableist comments right away. the truth is no one cooks with exclusively, or even with more fresh ingredients than not, and it's impossible to do that anyway for several reasons. that person probably lives alone and is on a loose enough schedule to be able to go to farmers' markets. it's callous to assume everyone has the same time and energy as you do, or even the resources, because buying fresh veggies and fruit for one person is one thing, and getting enough for four to five people is another.
yeah like when i was younger my mom was a single mom and working full time at a shitty retail job w/ no child support from my dad, so we were broke and i basically had to live on processed food bc my mom was so busy and obviously lacking funds. but ya i ate a lot of lunchables and kid cuisines lol.
its just weird to me to equate what someone chooses to eat w any moral value whatsoever. its literally just food! and also to make such a broad statement like “ALL americans eat processed food only” is so fucking ridiculous and just shows me that these people actually have no knowledge of american culture and just want an excuse to shit on poor & fat people. certainly there are parts of america where people mainly live on processed food (not out of choice, mind you) but theres so many cities w rich food cultures and theres also so much diversity in cuisine here. but either way, what someone chooses to eat is not a moral indicator so i dont see why it should matter.
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Saw V8 C11
Omg i cant believe they still believed in him
"I used to wear this rank with pride, but now i see it for what it really is: a collar" AHHHHHHHH THATS SO POWERFUL WITHOUT HIM BEING A DOG FAUNAS AND THAT DOUBLES IT
Winter tackling Marrow to the ground and then deeping her voice to say shes taking him to the cells COULD NOT BE MORE STAGED im so happy
Really wanted like a close up of Winter releasing Marrow's bonds and him realizing that shes faking it but not knowing why
While im here are all Atlas uniforms sewed with magnets??? Like Winter just attached Fetch to her back no problem and she doesnt carry her weapon like that so? Like we know Blake wears a magnet backpack (how do Qrow's and Ruby's stay on tho? A belt is not strong enough)
Ruby's run was SO EMBARRASSING i accidentally watched it twice bc i rewinded to get a screenshot of Emerald for art refs
Did the Nora reunion go how i wanted? No. BUT IM STILL SO HAPPY. Ren acknowledging his failings and talking to them as a team and referring to them as a team IS MORE THAN MOST SHOWS WOULD GIVE ME and most would not of had Jaune there AND HE WAS
ALSO MOST SHOWS WOULD NOT ALLOW FOR THE INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENT NORA ASKED OF
Not to over use caps bc this whole post is caps but FOREHEAD TOUCH FOREHEAD TOUCH FOREHEAD TOUCH
When people dont kiss it makes the scene stronger in my opinion. Idk kissing just feels like it dismisses everything or its like a shortcut to repairing relationships
Robyn reeling Qrow in YES THANK YOU
We havent seen much of her personally and im a bit excited bc theres so much fanfic of her and Qrow being like a duo but honestly we dont know much of her besides: hates lying, obsessed with the rich-poor divide, is caring enough to make horrible jokes to a sad stranger
YOU KNOW ITS WINTER AND MARROW IN THAT ELEVATOR
Actually what if its the Ace Ops ohhhhh
Watch it be Ironwood and all of Robyn's work is null
At first i saw Ruby hugging the banister and thought that was so unrealistic but then i remember me hiding out on the stairs with my forehead pushed into the hole between the bars and i took that statement back
THATS WHAT A RISK IS RUBY. ITS WHAT YOU LOSE WHEN YOU DONT WIN.
"thats what happened to Mom" *Yang proceeds to start bawling* YES
She wiped her face with her metal hand
1) Yang hugging Ruby was not something i knew i needed 2) YANG'S HAIR SQUISHED!! I hate hugs on this show bc the models are hard while bodies are soft and it makes hugs look awkward BUT NO this time it looked like Yang's body squished a bit and her hair smushed (i am aware it was prob a illusion of her jacket added with rounded shoulders and that her hair was moved behind her bc it has individual sections that can move because she has more "bangs" than the others but still)
PENNY
"Ruby stop me" NO
Ok everyone trying to hold her down was so sad but a really cool visual
I had NO IDEA that was Emerald's weapons and thought it had to of been like Willow or Klein having a secret weapon
So Jaune can really Aura Amp without touching them he just chooses to usually
"Kill me. Kill me" NO NO NO
Nora really was like "we've been through this Penny"
"Jaune! Boost her aura!" "You have a soul Penny, you're not a machine" *hand holding* *everyone hugging* MY HEART OKAY
Jaune held her hands for like a second did anyone else see that?? But Nora squeezing her hand while hugging her with the side of her body was so cute
Side hugs are great AND SO UNDERRATED i cant believe we got 3 this ep
Everyone sitting on the ground together was like a cinematic and metaphorical thing i know but IM JUST HAPPY THEYRE ALL HUGGING
Emerald ive never liked you but im starting to love your character
OZPIN APOLOGIZED
I love how its always Oscar reminding him of things
NEO VS CINDER NEO VS CINDER
I know its not happening bc Cinder is persuasive but i can dream
But seriously what is Watts doing
ALL-IN-ALL i loved this episode. Its was emotionally heavy instead of action heavy but it still felt heavy you know? Anyways i love it when characters are touchy-feely and this ep delivered
#hinacu rwby#rwby#renora#marrow amin#penny polendina#yang xiao long#ruby rose#nora valkyrie#jaune arc#i talked about them enough they deserved to be tagged
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What do you mean others can’t choose to be wealthy?? Every one in this country has an opportunity. My dad came here with $20 in his pocket and now he owns 4 apartment buildings. Something he could never do in Venezuela (a socialist country. I can tell you how fucked up is there ). Also Ill agree that exploitation is immoral but that not exclusive to capitalism. In this case exploitation is at the fault of politicians for not making that illegal. Politician that we vote for but we choose not pay attention to that. Atleast we have the liberty under capitalism. I think we can agree on a lot. I personally think the politicians in this country are too blame. I think because they are passing laws and regulations in favor of big pharma big tech and big corporations is why people hate capitalism these days. I just think it’s far more immoral to abolish my liberty to own what I want, to capitalize on it and generate wealth for my future generations. I don’t want be forced to to pay more for the “collective” when its always the top that keeps most of the wealth under communism or socialism. I think equity and free shit makes people lazy. People want to create shit and have a purpose in life and capitalism enables that very freedom to do so. There would no point in doing that under communism because that company I want o build wouldn’t be mine, I could never reap the reward of MY hard work, I would have no incentive. I wouldn’t be a lot to build my own car company because just the state already has one there would be now competition, nno strive to create better products. That’s why our healthcare is fucked. It’s very restricted and over regulated to keep people from creating cheaper and more efficient products. which is worse u see socialism/ communism ask Cubans and Venezuelans how good their free healthcare is…. There is literally no successful example of those two horrifying systems. Even in theory it is Immoral to strip people of owning private property and pursuing wealth for themselves. Like why do you care that’s someone decided to build something and be wealthy why are y’all so salty that you guys aren’t wealthy? What do you think happens to those people under a communist revolution ? People who refuse to give up those freedoms?
this is where things get muddy bc ofc it's true that politicians are to blame for a lot of this. people want to create things but not for their survival. u truly sound like a capitalist when u say that equity makes people lazy...... people can barely afford to live and it's only capitalism that puts that blame on the individual vs the politicians and systems you already acknowledged. why is it hard to admit that u are not part of the norm anymore? u are the exception. and it's in vain to continuously compare socialism in other countries to the way it could possibly be here. i didn't ever say it was the perfect solution but i do know theres a power n wealth imbalance that is causing these extreme conditions. cuba and venezuela's examples are on the opposite end of the spectrum of our late stage capitialism. i am vying for something in between. i think people in a country should be taken care of, especially when there is the money to do so. why is everything possible here but equality in access to health and wealth????? why is that the only time it's unreasonable to imagine an america that provides in any substantial ways for it's citizens? it's nice to be wealthy here bc the status quo is to keep the poor, poor and the rich, rich! thats what draws all the vultures here. bc it won't change! it probably wont any time soon.
we can't even go into how miserable captialism makes everyone without mentioning the devastating impacts it has on the environment-- that people just want to produce and sell plastic junk endlessly! or that meat production causes more c02 emissions than people realize!
why do u think people keep trying to organize general strikes? just for safe working conditions and health benefits?? for proper pay? why do u think people are in desperate need for rent freezes?? why is america the most infectious country in the world right now?? couldn't be because of our "essential worker" response to a failing economy. ???
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Strangers (Pt.3)
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Virgil felt his throat close, almost deathly cold.
"R-Roman what do you-"
"And another thing, songbird, I dont want you calling me Roman anymore," Virgil thought he might cry, everything was so confusing and it had only been one day.
"What do you want me to call you then?. . ." Virgil asked, trying to keep his breathing steady, his eyes were clenched shut out of terror and fear.
"I think Romulus has a nice ring to it, dont you songbird?" Said Romulus, resting his head on Virgil's shoulder.
"Y-yes- its nice-" Virgil responded.
"Are you feeling well songbird? You look sick," said Romulus, turning Virgil's face.
Virgil opened his eyes, but when he had, he didnt see the vibrant green he was expecting.
No, he saw a deep, almost black, red color, and the same blood-red stains that had coated Roman's mouth just that morning, were staining the underside of Romulus' eyes. He bit his lip to keep from screaming.
"I'm fine Romulus- but uh-did you forget to take off your contacts and make-up before bed?" Virgil said quietly.
"Oh this? Just a new style songbird, no special affects required," said Romulus.
"I really dont think you should be sleeping with that necklace on though- it might choke you and quite frankly I dont want that," Virgil said, making a move to take off his own necklace.
"No," Virgil flinched at the harshness in Romulus' voice, and winced when he felt him grab his arm and pull it away from the necklace.
"Romulus!" Virgil's eyes went wide as he moved to push himself away.
"Songbird whats gotten into you? You're so jumpy today," Ronulus' face showed an expression of concern, but Virgil wasnt sure he bought it very much.
"You're not acting like- you! That's what's scaring me! You wake up bleeding from the mouth and coughing like you've got the plague and then deny going to the doctor, and then you hit me when I try to get these stupid necklaces off when you didnt start acting like this until we got them! And now your eye colors changing and you've got all this- stuff all over your face and you're acting like it's perfectly normal! And you're calling me songbird of all names when you've never once wanted to call me that!" The sentence escaped Virgil's throat in a series of harsh breathes.
"Oh. . ." Romulus' expression shifted to one of hurt and concern now.
"I'm sorry baby I- didn't think it would bother you so much," he said.
"But we should keep the necklaces on, who knows what would happen if we lost one or both, and if we dont know what's wrong with them than we certainly shouldnt risk something else happening, and you seem perfectly fine, so I doubt it's something serious," said Romulus, running his fingers through Virgil's hair.
"You have a point. . ." Virgil said quietly, looking off to the side for a few moments.
"Do you want me to stop calling you songbird, though? I will if it makes you unhappy," Romulus said, taking one of Virgil's hands in his and using his thumb to trace along his knuckles.
"Songbird is fine, it just- caught me off guard- that's all. . ." Virgil murmured.
"Alright, goodnight little songbird," said Romulus, pressing a kiss to Virgil's forehead and pulling him close.
"Good night Princey," Virgil whispered, before finally falling asleep.
His dreams were odd that night, dreams of blood and axes and chanting and a sweet smile that had turned into the maw of something sharp and horrifying, of wedding bells that seemed to shift into a funeral procession.
Virgil awoke the next morning, cold and sweaty, tears running down his face. He turned to the lump next to him, shaking it and hoping against his own reality that the eyes that blinked up at him would be a beautiful jade color.
But instead, he was once again met with charcoal.
"What is it songbird? You seem frightened," Romulus sat up in bed and pulled Virgil closer to him, resting Virgil's head in his lap and resuming the previous nights activity of messing with his hair.
"B-bad dream- thought- something happened-" Virgil said between sniffles.
"Oh my poor little songbird,dont worry, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," said Romulus, now pulling Virgil up to his chest, Virgil buried his face in the soft fabric of Romulus' pajamas.
"What about work?" Virgil said, smirking.
"Oh? Getting cheeky now are we?" Romulus said with a laugh. Virgil smiled, maybe it really had just been a dream, maybe he was just scared of something changing when there was nothing to be scared about.
"But seriously, do you want to go to work today? Are you sure you dont still feel sick?" Virgil said, moving away from Romulus' chest and looking up at him.
"I think I can go in today, the extra cash doesnt hurt now does it?" Romulus said, tracing along Virgil's jawline and smiling.
"Extra money never hurts anyone but the people being exploited for it," Virgil responded.
"Theres my little anarchist songbird, been listening to Janus again have you?" Romulus said.
"Of course I have, hes the only one who can make AP Government interesting," Virgil replied.
"Well I've got to start getting ready then ok songbird? You stay here while I get started on breakfast," said Romulus.
"Ok," Virgil lay back down and reached to grab his phone off the bedside table.
Sixteen missed calls from Patton
Twenty missed calls from Janus
Ten missed calls from Remus
One hundred and forty six missed messages from Janus and five others
Virgil stared at the notification screen for a long while, before noticing the 'Silent' symbol at the top corner.
He only felt more guilty as he began to read, hundreds of concerned voices and texts, all asking if he'd made it home alright.
He decided to call Janus and Patton first.
"Virgil! We've been worried sick! Why havent you been answering? Did something happen? Is everything alright?" Patton's voice chimed over the phone, frenzied and terrified.
"I'm fine Pat- just had my phone on silent on accident for some reason, Romulus is back to normal, it was just an off day," Virgil said.
The line went quiet.
"Virgil. . . Who's Romulus?. . ." Janus replied, from further away it seemed.
"Roman changed his name," Virgil said nonchalantly.
"Oh- well- tell him we're happy for him," Patton said awkwardly.
"Will do," Virgil said.
And then he hung up, and it all seemed to feel rather strange.
And this only continued after this other calls. He wouldve thought Romulus would have told his own brother about his name change before he told Virgil, but that didnt seem to be the case.
"Princey?" Virgil slipped out of bed and into the kitchen.
"Songbird? What are you doing up? Breakfast's not ready yet," Romulus said.
"I just got off the phone with the gang- my phone was on silent last night and they were all really worried, but I wanted to ask you something-" Virgil said nervously.
"Yes, songbird?" Romulus replied.
"How come you told me you changed your name, but not Remus, hes your brother, wouldnt he be more important?" Virgil said.
"Well I prefer to think you're the most important thing in my life songbird," Romulus said with a smile.
"Dear gods you're so cheesy," Virgil said, rolling his eyes.
"I know songbird," Romulus replied.
"Can you try this for me?" Romulus said, holding out a fork with a piece of waffle on it. Virgil walked over and took the bite, eyes widening as he did.
"Which brand is this?" Virgil said when he finished.
"Home-made," Romulus said, smiling.
"Careful or you're gonna end up having to do a lot more work for breakfast," Virgil said with a laugh.
"That's the idea songbird," said Romulus.
Soon enough Romulus was on his way to work, and Virgil was alone in the house again, but for some odd reason.
He felt less alone than he ever had before.
----------------------------------------------
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#cori writes#strangers au#ts romulus#ts pride roman#ts virgil#ts patton#ts janus#pridexiety#moceit#romantic moceit#toxic relationship#tw abuse#tw gaslighting#tw possession
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