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#its nothing like super mindblowing
beatlzee · 2 years
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quick magnus chase drawing!! :)
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exitwound · 1 year
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hi zoe i love ur blog and opinions. u always have just amazing analysis and like. general ideas that just are mindblowing. and i was wondering if you're often inspired by art and stuff around you that helps you come to your thoughts? asking because honestly i always feel like im stealing and plagiarizing other people's ideas and thoughts when im inspired by someone's work to create my own - like my tone or style is too similar, or my words are practically the same. and it feels awful because im like is this even inspired or am i literally just stealing? it feels like i can't ever create work with my own thoughts and idk what to do with that. sorry i know that was like a ton of info feel free to ignore
wow omg thank you. this is crazy to hear because i would personally say that the last time i had an idea it was about dean winchester. but for sure those ideas would really really have not had been posts if i didn’t see other ideas and stretch them to a new location on the media body. but thank you.Ummm i would say that it’s difficult to tell when i have a thought where it came from except when it’s not and know exactly where it came from. but definitely i don’t live in a vacuum and i am always always always always always very inspired by everything and by art and art and art and art and other peoples analyses and ideas about art and and and and and. and honestly i think that originality of ideas is a little bit nothing i think that the meaning is mostly in the expression of the idea bc like most art is a pretty simple idea but it’s done welll it commits to the idea and it trusts you to be blown away. slightly unrelatedly I think there is enormous value in intentionally attempting forgeries of others work although of course for this you wouldn’t pass it off as your own. Back to being related i think generally it’s more difficult to actually plagiarize on accident than you might fear. sometimes i worry im writing something i just forgot i read but there was kind of nothing i could do about that worry so i decided to move on and anyway if i forgot i read it then i definitely forgot the context so im already doing something new with it. i find that when i consume a lot of one type of writing for example like if im doing an english paper i sometimes slip into writing in the same style of the book im doing a paper on without realizing. Maybe a solution to feeling stuck in copying a style is to just get it out of you like new document and purge it just keep copying until you’ve run out of recombinations based on this source material and then you begin to scratch at the surface of the thing you were submerged in and break into the new yourself that swallowed a source like a spider and uses its thread to make a new web but it’s not your thread but it’s your web. I think that tends to happen to me in a way when I have an obsession on an idea i first encountered expressed in art and then began trying to re-express it myself. Which is super normal and most art is the re-expression of other expressions for sure. i don’t know i guess i used to be very terrified of plagiariaztipn in my poetry and then i started reading poems and i would find lines in things i had never read before that were very similar to things i had written already and i started realize you will be copying something whether youve seen it already or not so thats that and not really because of this and more because of fractals but definitely relevant to this is i started to make a belief system that the wider your lens the more infinitely small the number of things and all you can do is try to say something that in all of history has never been uttered but means something that everyone who ever lived has felt you know. i hope this helps definitely most of my thoughts are not my own but once i think them they’re mine and immediately being recontextualized with the other thoughts and the new environment if that makes sense… it comes from where it comes from . sorry if this isn’t helpful but i hope it is much love sending reassurance and confidence xxxx🪰🫙🥣🔌📡🪆🪣
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fallen-gabrielle · 1 year
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The Mario movie review (spoilers)
I want to talk about the movie because I really liked it! So spoilers below!
First of all, I watched the movie in french, so I won't talk about the VA's performances, it's strictly about the story and characterization.
In general
The plot is pretty generic, nothing too mindblowing nor revolutionary. What did you expect for an origin movie about a very famous video game franchise ? Honestly it was extremely fun to watch it, there was a lot of references that didn't feel too shoehorned in. People who don't know shit about the franchise can still enjoy the movie as much as people who are avid fans of it. And that's a big good point for the movie. Because it wasn't done for the fans... well, maybe that was the case but everyone else can still have good times watching it!
My 7 years old inner self almost got a panic attack for the underwater scene, BECAUSE OF THAT GODDAMN FUCKING EEL, MAN. I got TRAUMATIZED of that thing back in Super Mario 64 and in the theatre i was like "is that the eel? that's gotta be the damn eel, isn't it?" AND BOY I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. I loved it and hated it at the same time, you know what I mean? I liked how they intergrated the nightmare™ in the movie, but I still hate that thing.
When Luigi landed in the dark land (or whatever its name is in english), I was expecting a few boos. It was still a kinda scary scene with the dry bones all over the place, if I was a child I know this would have terrified me to my core. Still not over the fucking eel.
I think I never fangirled so much than during the kart making scene. I don't know why, I'm really not a big fan of vehicles and engines in general, but this scene? Seeing the karts being personalized was such a god tier moment for me, idk I just loved it! Then you have Toad with the biggest ass kart ever xD
They were quite vague about Peach's origin story, they're probably keeping it for a sequel, but it seems she is from the same world as Mario. Either way, it's a nice explaination as to why a human woman is ruling the Mushroom Kingdom full of Toads. The movie ended nicely, without too much sequel baiting, because as a standalone movie it's really fine if Nintendo won't make another one.
If I have to say one negative about the movie storywise, it's that no one dropped a penguin over the cliff, biggest disappointment of my life. My day is ruined 😂
The characters
I'll start with the cameos because people have a tendency to forget them. And I want to keep the best for last. Nice to see Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong in the crowd, they weren't forgotten by the writers! King Bob-Omb and King Boo were also cameos during the wedding scene, it was awesome. I freaking LOVED the blue shell koopa, he was such a fucking maniac, down for murder and completely insane. AND THEN HE DID THE THING!!! You know what I'm talking about, he went full kamikaze mode and was like "I'll take you down with me", best highlight of the movie (that was not about the brothers. more about them later). The luma was such a mood. His childlike voice saying the most disturbing things was hilarious xD Same, bro, same. Toad was... well he was just there. I liked his adventurous/brave personality.
I loved Peach, she was great. Both cute and badass as well as down to heart character. Liked how she was like "nobody gets it right the first time", nice reference to the video games (i also felt personally attacked by this statement, cuz i can suck at video games sometimes xD). She was grace, she was gentle, she was a true princess. Also, I liked how they didn't force too much romance between her and Mario. I mean sure, they are each other's love interest in canon so I wouldn't be mad if they have romantic moments in a possible sequel, but the movie didn't focus on that.
Bowser was truely funny. And menacing. It's the kind of characters who can do both and that's why we all love him. Loved all of his facial expressions. It was a blast everytime he was on screen. I don't know what else to say about him, he was such entertaining. His little musical number was 10/10.
Donky Kong was cool. I loved his interactons with Mario, worst enemies at first sight, and I liked how the writers kept their antigonistic relationship because duh, DK was Mario's first enemy. Liked how they almost had a bonding moment for having disappointed dads. But nope, DK was too prideful to admit he could relate to the guy who beat him xD
And now, make way for the best part of the movie: the brothers.
You have NO IDEA how much I loved them. They were so wholesome and protective of each others, it's so heartwarming, guys. Everything about them was ✨perfection✨. I knew they were going to get separated while watching the first trailer and still got shocked to see it happening in the second trailer. I don't know why. It was going to be expected. So going in the movie, I was waiting for this moment again, because with more build up to it I knew it would break me. And it did. Mainly with that one line : "Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together." Man. Fucking man. That line DESTROYED me.
The bros are protective of each other and it's everything I wanted to see onscreen. I can be a heartless bitch sometimes, but I'm extremely emotional when I see fictional brothers and sisters having wholesome moments between them. It's everything for me. Mario defending Luigi everytime was awesome. During the worksite scene, Mario was opening the way for Luigi and that's adorable as fuck, man. He knows Luigi can't jump or do parkour so he makes sure Luigi can still follow him. Love love love love!!!!!! Then you have the disappointed dad. Telling Mario that he's bringing down his brother with him. Mario goes sulking in his room, thinking he's made a mistake or a bad decision. AND THEN Luigi comes into the room reassuring Mario it's not the case. Amazing. Emotional support bro for the win.
Luigi saying that Mario is the best guy in the world is so great to me. He loves deeply his big brother and I'm just sobbing softly in my corner thinking about them. I cried like a baby watching them reuniting, I am not joking. Their hug was everything. AND THEN!!!! LUIGI COMES IN THE WAY OF BOWSER'S FLAMES TO SAVE HIS BIG BRO AND THROWS THE LINE™ BACK AT MARIO, I JUST- I CAN'T- I- !!!!!!
Everything about them was amazing. Their relationship was cute, wholesome, heartwarming, so pure... A lot of people arleady talked about them in details so I feel like i would repeat what has already been said. The Mario brothers were extremely sweet to watch from the beginning to the end. That was the best part of the movie: their relationship. Brothers loving each other is important to see onscreen. Fraternal love is a beatiful love that needs more attention from the medias.
To conclude, the movie was great, the characters awesome and the worldbuilding was perfect.
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sapphire-weapon · 2 months
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Yayyyy jshsjs ok so i was thinking that sooner or later their "arrangement" will not be enough for them anymore (it already isnt) but ofc they refuse to acknowledge it so they start arguing more and one night maybe they fight abt sth stupid (veryyy stupid its almost mundane but it implies a lot of issues they dont address) and Ashley is super stubborn and fiesty. Leon tries to be patient at first but it gets old very quickly and he just becomes disinterested and lets her act out bc he's exhausted and doesnt wanna deal w this shit. This makes Ashley leave and Leon doesnt stop her even tho he really wants to but he's Leon lol but then Ashley comes back still being annoying and starts yelling again and Leon just watches but then he's like stfu (same vibes as 'you talk too much') and he kisses her and subdues her very quickly and he's all dominant and imposing but like in a subtle, soft dom way but still makes Ashley melt after some light resistance bc deep down this is what she wanted all along. During sex Leon calls the shots and puts Ashley in her place when she wants control. They call each other annoying and stuff like that, shut each other up with thrusts and keep bickering. She presses his buttons to trigger that dominant side of him, its a turn on for her seeing him exasperated bc of her bc she's so desperate for more from him, ANYTHING, she doesnt know what that is (coughMARRIAGEBABIESAHOUSEINTHESUBURBS) but maybe if she provokes him enough and he cracks she will find out. But nothing happens. Just another night of mindblowing sex, the best they've ever had, but when it's all said and done, it's still not enough. So they argue again.
Ashley leaves. Leon lets her. Obviously that's not what they want but they can't have more. The end.
Sorry this was too long but I'm very invested and ofc I had to make it a bit angsty considering the direction the story is taking. I hope it doesn't suck too much, I'm not good at storytelling but I really want to see this lol. I love your story. It's so real. K bye ily 💘
OH i didn't realize that you wanted this to take place in the universe of my fic.
bro i should just keep working on this chapter, then, because they argue a bit in this chapter.
here's a preview 4 u. remember: first draft, not finished, subject to change, needs editing, etc etc.:
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and here's a preview of some of the smut
all same disclaimers apply. i haven't really looked at this at all since i initially wrote it.
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autumnbrambleagain · 2 years
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Morrowind has had a really weird modding history. In its early days, Morrowind was one of the few only fantasy games that had open, accessible modding to the degree that it had. No, let’s be honest: it, along with Neverwinter Nights, was one of the only 2 fantasy games that had any real meaningfully accessible modding whatsoever.
It also came out about the same time as Lord of the Rings, and it attracted a lot of what is a dying genre--the wicca-in-aesthetics, the kind of people who have little fairy statues all around the house, who are dragon otherkins but in the 80s understanding of dragons, people who have “winsome dragon statues” made of cheap resin sitting on their computer desks, who go to renaissance faires in vaguely-medieval dresses and buy lots of incense and quote Monty Python often.
No judgements, this is the kind of person I wanted to grow up to be as a kid and I’m deeply disappointed we never made it to that point but life kind of sucks forever, so whatever! Except for the quoting Monty Python part, we have an ENTIRE OTHER rant saved up for that.
Our point we’re trying to make: Morrowind has a very strong, very cohesive setting and aesthetic. Compared to stuff like Ultima, which had a lot of “lore” but was ultimately still very much... very much generic fantasy by comparison? Morrowind takes place in a weird place undergoing colonization, but also trying itself to execute colonization/slavery on OTHERS too.
A place with a deeply entrenched religion, a uniquely bizarre culture, it was, at the time, absolutely mindblowing to see something BESPOKE in a fantasy game when the alternative was, always, remixes of the same handful of generic Tolkein-derived nothings.
Not to say that Morrowind’s setting is honestly like, super great or mindbreaking--it was great in the CONTEXT relative to its contemporaries. Morrowind’s setting is honestly kind of bland in a lot of ways to me these days and it’s why I fuck around in my own settings so much, even if you don’t get to see very much of it. You dont’ see us playing Morrowind either not everything has to be shared with you.
ANYWAY.
Our point: Bethesda, back when it had some good things still in it, went “Here’s this bizarre fucking fantasy setting, it’s weird as fuck and has a ton of internal contexts and consistencies.”
And the modding community went “Nice, I want to put Drow in.” Some of them went as far as “dark elf” and went “Ah, the Dunmer must be like the Drow, they probably have the same culture.” Some modders went “neat, a fantasy game, here’s my mod that adds a pixie who runs a shop in Balmora!”
You had people like Sabregirl who was putting in races from their original setting so you had fox people and bird-dragons with dialogue about their space civilization. You had moogles. You had Lord of the Rings.
People just layered their generic fantasy onto Morrowind, never engaging with its weird setting, and it was wild. It was weird. It was all there--the setting was waiting to be explored, and people just wanted... here’s my magic unicorn elf dragon fantasy girl with huge eyes and dragonfly wings :3 in this... setting about racism, xenophobia, and lies.
it was great.
One of the best examples of this is the venerable and amazing Uvirith’s Legacy+Building up Uvirith’s Legacy. It’s a great, great fucking “house” mod that expands Tel Uvirith from a shitty little tower into an entire expansion pack with dozens of quests, very minor city management mechanics, a bunch of fun new characters.
Stuporstar made it out of several previous Uvirith mods and did a lot of work bringing it up to code as something new and great and all their own (although I also gutted it and redecorated the interior to suit my moods better but that’s Morrowind baybey)
And it, for the most part, does engage with the actual Morrowind of Morrowind--but it has a TON of holdovers of this older, sillier Morrowind, and I think it’s a great window into it.
It lets you be a proper Telvanni--here’s your tower, here are the slaves you hold in the basement and they’re trying to escape so you chase them down and catch them. This slave complains and makes it clear you are an absolute fucking bastard and you can, you know, free her, or you can take her out into the Molag Amur and murder her.
Your head-of-guard staff is a torture fetishist and you have a prison of prisoners you can exploit. Your library has a skeleton who lives in it. There’s a lich tomb deep underground you can break into and find the original Uvirith and you can fucking just kill him fuck that guy you’re cooler than he is. It’s very “You’re a Telvanni, they’re basically immoral, immortal assholes.”
But it also has things like an ogrim named Cartman because he’s FAT XD
It has, I think it’s a holdover from the earliest versions of the mod, a companion named: Sara N’Trasha.
Who is a Dunmer Ashlander from a thousand years ago.
Wearing modern Orcish armor.
Now, see, Dunmer Ashlander culture has names with phonemes like “Ashamal Abaddamasad” and “Ahhe-Ari Zainsumani”
This character is named Sara N’Trasha.
Sara is a Bretonic name--probably the least interesting of TES’ fantasy is a place literally called Bretony, and yes, someone named “Sara” would be from Brettony. N’Trasha... oh boy. The X’Y structure is seen in Khajiiti names, but N’ isn’t a valid prefix, at least in the time of Morrowind. Trasha also isn’t really a valid Khajiit name--Rasha is, but a “tr” sound for a female is usually followed by softer, vowel-heavy syllables. Rasha would be a male name, anyway. female names are more like “Ahnassi” “Tsrazami” etc.
Also Orc armor--I guess maybe she looted it from an Orc warrior during the 1st era wars I guess? I don’t know man.
But this is my favorite example of the complete disinterest in engaging with the setting in early Morrowind modding. They saw characters sometimes had names with apostrophes in them. They knew there were guys called Ashlanders.
Sara N’Trasha.
Stuporstar has talked about updating the mod and I think renaming Sara was on the docket, but I haven’t seen much word of any updates in years and I’m strongly tempted to just dig around in the mod and rename her myself so it doesn’t bother me as much, el oh el.
But my point is, it’s, it’s an incredible example of the complete lack of interest in very early era Morrowind modding to actually engage with the setting of the thing you’re putting so much work into. It’s mindblowing.
We have a bit of the opposite problem of that in the modern era, I think.
Uvirith’s Legacy has a bit of that, too, and it’s a good intro to this other problem: trying to alter the vanilla game to fit a plothole you yourself created.
UL also adds magic pages that summon a daedra when you interact with it. At some point, whichever modder (stuporstar or someone else??) started it went “How can Gothren have permanantly summoned Daedra when YOU the player CAN’T?”
And invented the pages as the way to summon daedra, and wrote a bunch of dialogue where oh, of course Gothren used these magic pages to summon them permanently.
Except. Except that wasn’t a plothole. We know that there are rituals that bind daedra long-term, but for gameplay reasons the player only ever gets short-term summons. It’s an example of inventing a plothole and trying to fix it.
I feel like we’re dangerously close to seeing that with Tamriel Rebuilt.
Tamriel Rebuilt’s original inception of the Telvanni lands has a lot of the touches of this old philosphy. The silly, Python-esque, do-your-own-thing stuff. There’s an edgelordy Morag Tong base where they go “Don’t kill anyone at night... a true assassin does it in the daylight... watch me cut this hair in half with a knife now.”
And they’re planning on going back to the Telvanni zones and redoing them! That’s great.
But also like, I had a look again at their design documents and on the docket is: demoting Archmagister Gothren to a Wizard or whatever. Why? Because they wrote DIFFERENT lore where there’s an even older COOLER Telvanni wizard, who fits the Telvanni lore better, and now he’s the archmagister.
They are now at the point of looking at Morrowind’s original lore and setting and going “not good enough” which is, which is fine, Morrowind is lacking in a lot of ways. Gothren is a pushover baby bitch, unless you’re using MDMD, in which case no I’m sorry I made him so he can fuck you up rightly. But he’s a boring nothingburger, that’s true, sure. 
But now we have Tamriel Rebuilt considering completely redoing House Telvanni on the mainland too--which would make every single Telvanni mod that isn’t updated to match the new improved TR lore out of date.
That’s mostly because they invented an OC and to fix the plot holes their own invention caused, want to alter all of the original Morrowind, rather than fitting TR to fit the vanilla.
Thankfully they seem to be backtracking Mouths being mind-wiped mind-clones of the Wizards which they invented to fix a problem they themselves also invented--my point! My point. 
We now have mods taking the lore more seriously than the base game, and creating plotholes in the opposite direction--it now makes the original game look unimaginative, so the original game is going to need to be heavily modified to fit the new TR stuff.
But there’s so many mods coming out for vanilla that also respect and improve on the lore. And now there’s no central governing body. RandomPal did TelAruhn Chronicles which makes it feel way more like a center of power for the isolated Archmagister. MDMD (that was me!) made Gothren powerful and scary so it feels like yeah, yeah this guy could have survived with a bullseye on him this long no problem.
We have mods like UL, which, even if needing a few updates to sort of fit the more lore-respectful era we’re in, reference Gothren as Archmagister. We have mort’s redone Rise of House Telvanni for goodness’ sakes.
And here comes Tamriel Rebuilt... just... planning on rewriting the vanilla game to fix a plothole they themselves invented, which will, itself, create even more plotholes with every other mod that hasn’t been updated to match their own homebrewed lore.
hurr Autumn if this upsets you so much why don’t you do something about it fuck you okay look, we don’t have the time or energy to do Tamriel Rebuilt right now. Life is really fucking dumb (so fucking incredibly dumb) and if we’re going to put that much energy into a creative work it’s going to be something of our own stuff because, honestly, honestly, none of us ever liked working in someone else’s playground when it’s so easy to make your own that just lets you do what you wanted without having to skirt dissonance levels.
Morrowind modding has always been, and will always be, kind of a giant fucking mess, and I love it for that.
I mean this is the game where the default body mod everyone based everything else around, because it was so early back in the day that no one else could MAKE body mods, the one standardized body mod we all use has giant fucking tits because LOL.
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hideyseek · 1 year
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11.11.2022
feeling shockingly good about the writing for today?????? much more exploratory than previous days (which felt more like i was just writing my way down a list of goals for a scene) … not super sure what to make of it. gently full of doubt of my skills as a direct result but also reminding myself HOW I FEEL ABOUT HOW IT IS GOING HAS LITTLE TO ABSOLUTELY NO RELATION TO HOW IT IS ACTUALLY GOING this is just a RULE THAT IS TRUE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE WITH WRITING
but also this hmm sandboxed exploratory stuff feels … easier?? but i also worry it’s boring, like i’m just throwing random info in there, what if it’s jarring or irrelevant and i just can’t tell. (THEN ONE OF MY SMART AND BELOVED BETAS WILL CATCH IT OR THERE WILL BE SOME FLAWS IN THIS FAN FICTION THAT I AM WRITING FOR FUN WITH LIMITED PROFESSIONAL WRITING TRAINING THAT I AM PUTTING ONLINE FOR FREE SO WHO CARES what does a perfect fic even look LIKE hidey calm DOWN about this!!) anyway, idk what makes a piece of writing boring vs engaging, i have no idea how to tell if what i’m writing is going to be engaging but i am also reminding myself THAT IS NOT IN SCOPE FOR THE FIRST DRAFT. IT WILL BE HANDLED IN REVISIONS. THAT’S WHY WE HAVE REVISIONS!
in other news today i felt relief of having to write a second draft of this for the first time. not sure what to make of that either. after the first burst of writing, i kinda felt like nothing i wrote connected to anything else i’d written, but then i went back and just idk … like added some sentences to putty over the problems and it seemed to go okay??????? idk i also broke my role of DO NOT FUCKING REREAD ANY PREVIOUS DAY’S WRITING and looked at the most recent day’s writing, and like, it was fine? it wasn’t mindblowing (reminding myself that THAT IS NORMAL AND FINE FOR A FIRST DRAFT OR EVEN A FINAL DRAFT!) but idk it seemed coherent? well. it seemed fine? like it was sentences and nothing was actively wrong with them that i could tell, so yeah maybe it’s fine, who knows, what a fucking hobby what if my characterization is completely off i have no idea what happens in canon anymore—! which is also FINE this is a FAN FICTION i am MERELY MICROWAVING SOME GUY UNTIL HE IS MISERABLE who cares if the narrative is perfectly tightly woven or if everything is relevant and moving!!!! (ME UNFORTUNATELY but NOT IN THIS DRAFT!)
ok goodnight good lord why does this fic is so much cooler in my head and then on the google doc its just some regular sentences??? grrrrr how do i give someone a tummyache from reading ittttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!! but also like god could i finish one fucking draft of it first goodnight i am. incoherent
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seventeendeer · 1 year
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As an adult with a love for Sonic, and adult money now at my disposal. I am considering buying Sonic Forces. You seemed to quite enjoy it, how does it play?
I haven't played any sonic games other than Shadow the Hedgehog, ages ago. Getting to see my blorbos on screen is so very tempting.
Forces is definitely one of my favorite Sonic games!! I'd highly recommend it to anyone who loves post-2000's Sonic's many characters, cheesy writing, kid-friendly-just-for-fun "edge" and banger music. Here's a short overview for you:
- Gameplay is divided into three types of levels: ones featuring 'modern' Sonic (3D movement, camera usually behind the back), 'classic' Sonic (plays mostly like the sidescrollers from the 90's) and your own character (like modern Sonic, but with third-person shooter elements). For ONCE in Sonic's career, the three game modes are juggled very well, all three of them work as intended, they're all actually fun to play. Controls are tight, I haven't encountered any glitches at all. While I enjoy other Sonic games for their messy coding and awful gameplay, it was actually very nice to play a Sonic game that for once 1) worked and 2) was a genuine joy to play. If you want a Sonic game that works instead of the usual wet cardboard box of glitches and rushed developer tears, Forces is ... almost your only option lol.
- And yeah, a new gimmick in Forces is that you make your own character in a character creator! And your character becomes friends with Sonic and is a major part of the plot! It's super cute and feel-good. The absolute indulgent sincerity with which the game treats this feature is so, so lovable to me.
- The story features the majority of the animal characters introduced across the series' lifespan and almost all of them are written true to their characters! Shadow even has his own mini-campaign (I think it's a DLC, if I recall correctly?)!
- Of course, the writing is very silly and cheesy, and the plot is all over the place, but that's a huge part of the games' charm to me personally. Nothing really makes sense and its tone slippy-slides all over the place. Very similar to Shadow the Hedgehog in that way. I know some people long for actually good writing in Sonic games and if you're in that camp you'll probably be disappointed, but if you're anything like me, trying to imagine what the hell went on in the writers' room to make this fucking thing happen is an integral part of the Sonic Enjoyment Experience
- The soundtrack is heavy on dubstep and many levels feature music with lyrics. This is another aspect I absolutely love, Forces has one of my favorite soundtracks in the series. The main villain's theme stands out as my favorite.
- Forces' main flaw, in my opinion, is that it is a very simple, easy game and quite short. It's got bonus missions, but the most interesting stuff you get out of those is more clothes for your character. When the game first came out, I got so excited and had so much fun I finished it in a day, plus DLC, no problem. It seems to me the developers finally stopped biting off more than they could chew and focused on making a polished, compact game instead of a grandiose mess like so many other Sonic games turned out to be. But of course the triple-A game price tag remains. Whether or not a game you can finish in under 10 hours (not counting bonus missions) is worth that amount of money is up to you. I don't regret it in the slightest, but I'm also a massive Sonic nerd and Forces was exactly the kind of Sonic game I'd been missing for many, many years at the time of its release. Now that I think about it, you could probably find it secondhand somewhere for half the money ... Unfortunately, it's not exactly universally loved, so a lot of other fans will probably sell it to you for cheap, whoops
Overall, for an adult who is familiar with+loves the Sonic cast, and who's presumably here for the fun vibe more than a mindblowing Gaming Experience, Sonic Forces is absolutely at the top of my rec list. I think it is objectively the best modern Sonic game. There are a couple other Sonic games I personally enjoy more, but that's because I'm a masochist and I have an intense morbid fascination with the games that barely function and feel awful to play (Sonic 06 might just be my personal favorite).
If you do decide to get it, I hope you'll enjoy Forces! It's not for everyone, but at least one person in the world thinks it friggin rules (me).
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hwiyoungies · 2 years
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this is another anon that doesn't dislike svt's newer tracks but i decided to share my own opinion because i like talking abt svt i'm sorry this is super long
i think people have been a bit concerned abt the sound of svt's music for a while now but i think that's only bc svt has found what they want to do - they've been changing up their concepts very frequently. and they're good at it! i think one of the advantages of larger groups is that it's easier to use multiple concepts. but one of the disadvantages of being a larger group is that not everyone will like the songs they perform, and i think maybe that's why svt changes things so often, trying not to stick with one thing. because they want to reveal different sides of them that they weren't able to as rookies. it's got to be hard for the leaders, creating music and choreo to share with 12 other people. (i mean, think abt minghao who went from the aww cute quiet baby to the wine and silk robes art hipster.) and i think part of the reason ppl might not like their recent music as much is nostalgia. which is perfectly fine! i'm also nostalgic for their earlier eras.
but maybe carats didn't realize until recently that this has been happening? dwc catches you off guard like - oh! this is mature but in a very refreshing iconic seventeen way. (but maybe that was just them testing out the waters?) and woozi has gotten a lot more experience now, so as svt gets older the more he might want to experiment with music.
and then we start having people conflating personal opinion with the actual techniques and qualities of music. (i don't trust the music opinions of anybody who can't tell the difference bt a sustained note and a high note.) i watch reacttothek and they have so many interesting things to say about some of the more recent releases!
when hybe took over i think ppl started to get even more suspicious over music quality. which. i'm not actually sure either? yeah, hybe does have a certain sound but form of therapy (another reaction channel) was wondering if the change in sound actually symbolizes how svt can became more experimental in their sound bc now that they're under hybe they don't have to worry abt being general public friendly. idk.
but even if their sound did change after the merge, i do agree that svt's b-sides still sound amazingly good. honestly, i love most if not all of svt's songs i'm very biased. also, i'm not particularly angry abt darling's sound or it being in english? it's a pre-release single, so it's job is to just get everyone interested in the next cb. and judging from everyone's reactions, it did its job. darling might not be mindblowing but imagine the outrage if somehow the pre-release was better than the actual cb title track.... idk. maybe darling could have been better. but also svt has dozens of songs so it's not like i can't just skip and be mildly pleased when boomboom comes on.
dude anon i honestly have nothing else to add because you hit the nail in the head. also don't apologize for it being long i truly loved reading your insight on it and again i fully agree with everything you said
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Justin Timberlake - Everything I Thought It Was
Justin Timberlake’s first album in six years, Everything I Thought It Was, comes with some context that frankly needs to be unpacked before we can talk about it. For starters, JT’s public image has been somewhat tarnished over the last couple of years, due to Britney Spears releasing her memoir and saying a lot of unflattering things about him and their relationship. People have also been began reexamining certain pop culture events in retrospect, especially the 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction of Janet Jackson (which she was penalized for but JT wasn’t). He should be rightfully held accountable for things that he’s said and done, and he has since apologized, but JT’s biggest crime is relying on his white male privilege in the pop industry during the 90s and 00s, especially when misogyny was running rampant. The other important piece of context that’s needed is that his last album, 2018’s Man Of The Woods, wasn’t critically acclaimed like his last few albums. It was successful, but a lot of critics were not kind to it. Man Of The Woods tried to reframe his sound as “back to his roots” album, taking on influences of country, Americana, traditional R&B, and some futuristic funk, but it was kind of a mess. Personally, I like that mess, and think that album isn’t as bad as most critics made it out to be.
A couple of months ago, JT released the first single from this album, “Selfish,” and it served as both somewhat of a return to form and a red herring. That song is very reminiscent of something he would have put out The 20/20 Experience, especially “Mirrors,” but with a sense of wisdom as someone who is a decade older. It turned out to be a red herring, because Everything I Thought It Was is a very energetic, groovy, and fun album. It has a few ballads, and some introspective moments, but this album is very much a return to form. This album reminds me a lot of his first few albums, whether it’s the straightforward pop and R&B of Justified, forward thinking pop and R&B of FutureSex / LoveSounds, or the disco, funk, and retro-inspired sounds of The 20/20 Experience. You can listen to the album and pick out sounds from other albums, or even specific callbacks to other albums, but the songs stand up on their own, so as much as this album leans into nostalgia, and it definitely does, it’s not the only trick it has up its sleeve.
At this point in his career, where JT is a husband, father, and older in general, he doesn’t have anything to prove. I don’t understand why people act as though a lot of well-established artists, especially those that have been around for decades, need to keep pumping out mindblowing or unique material that rivals their best stuff. That is ideal, as we want our favorite artists to keep making great music, but JT is a guy with nothing to prove and nothing to lose. If he wants to make an album that’s basically him doing what he does best, I’ll take it. A lot of other reviews I’ve seen for this album have made the argument that this record is safe, and I’d say that, too, but why is that a bad thing? Songs like “Fuckin’ Up The Disco,” “Play,” “Technicolor,” “No Angels,” “Liar,” “Selfish,” and “Sanctified,” among others, have fantastic grooves, silky smooth vocals, and wonderful production from a myriad of producers and writers. All of these songs have something I really enjoy, and weirdly enough, its 77-minute length doesn’t bother me. There’s something to like on every song, but I will say that the last four songs slow down the album a bit, because they’re slower ballads. “Selfish” is the one that kicks off the last few tracks, and that song is the best out of them, but there’s “Alone,” “Paradise,” and “Conditions.” “Paradise” is interesting, because it features *NSYNC, and not in a small role, but this an *NSYNC song, through and through.
If there is one issue I have with this album, and I say that lightly, it’s that the lyrics aren’t anything we haven’t heard from him. JT made the album out to be that this would be very self-reflective and introspective, and the opening track, “Memphis,” sort of promises that. The song is JT looking back at his younger self and being told that he’s going to be a star but at the expense of not being able to express sadness and pain, along with feeling alone and isolated. The song is sort of clever by being this drab and downtrodden trap / R&B song and JT’s vocals sound defeated and saddened. If that’s the point, that’s extremely clever, but if not, it’s just a coincidence the song sounds like that. The closing track, “Conditions,” is a song that has him admitting that he isn’t perfect and he’s working on being better. The album is bookended by some introspective songs, but the issue is, the rest of the album is stuff we’ve heard from him for the past 20 years. If anything, the reflection comes into the sound of the album, not necessarily what he’s saying.
Everything I Thought It Was is an album that feels like a mix between a course correction after Man Of The Woods (which isn’t even that bad, honestly) and an album that takes advantage of the nostalgia wave that we’re in. He doesn’t have anything to prove with this, and from what I’ve seen, most casual listeners care more about the hits than they do new material. That’s the case for most artists, unfortunately, but this is an album for diehard fans and people that are looking for a solid pop and R&B record. This has some of the best pop and R&B tracks I’ve heard in a while, and given some time, a handful of these songs may end up being some of his best. As a diehard fan of JT for the past 12 years, this is everything I’ve wanted, especially after Man Of The Woods. It’s just JT doing what he does best, and while there’s only one song that’s over seven minutes (“Technicolor”) that brings to mind The 20/20 Experience, this is a fun, energetic, and groovy album that I’m having a blast with.
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everday-observations · 2 months
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TLDR; Rock-cut architecture are super cool
Currently wikipedia diving to research historical architecture for this fantasy novel I'm making, and look at this! Wikipedia calls it the Sivrijaya castle which I think is a bit suspect because nothing came up when I searched for other articles using that name, only tourist sites. Most papers call it the Ortahisar castle.
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[Picture of Ortahisar with its 90 meter tall castle]
I genuinely had to look up vlogs on youtube just to check that this thing was real, it looks so magical and otherworldly. I was already aware of other similar architecture (known as rock-cut architecture according to wikipedia) in Jordan and India but these typically functioned as temples not as actual living spaces.
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[Picture of Al-Khazneh in Petra, Jordan]
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[Picture of Kailasa Temple, Ellora]
So, this led me to think that maybe rock-cut architectures are not particularly livable spaces? It would make sense since they would be kind of damp... and dark... Also, for the purposes of my story, I wanted the architecture to be going upwards not downwards like most of the other rock-cut formations. (I just wanted to see if it was even possible to make such a thing even though, you know, it's supposed to be a fantasy and I could make my life easier and magic all the doubts away :'D)
Anyway, a few clicks on related articles later and I found it! The Ortahisar Castle is the oldest structure of its type in the Cappadocia region and it was apparently still used as a town hall in 1916?? Mindblowing. This thing has been in existence as far back as the Roman Empire, for context. It appears as if the Cappadocia region where Ortahisar is located in, has quite a few similar structures made out of the same type of volcanic sediments (might be using the wrong term here, I am unfortunately not a geologist). These structures are called fairy chimneys which is a pretty fair name, in my opinion. I mean, look at it!
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It was a bit difficult to find further publicly available information in English on Ortahisar Castle. Links to all resources that I found:
https://www.cappadociapage.com/en/ortahisar-castle/ (Lots of pretty pictures and info)
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00254-008-1198-z#Sec2 (there are many similar papers on its conservation)
https://open.metu.edu.tr/handle/11511/21441 (Urban planning thesis on Ortahisar and the castle)
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natbreathesnitrogen · 3 months
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this aint snz related, its just something i NEED to rant abt rlly quick (pls read if ur a fantasy book enjoyer u wont regret it)
I
LOVE
MALAZAN BOOK OF THE FALLEN
And im not even on the main series yet, just started the 3rd book from Path To Ascendancy
AND ITS PEAK FANTASY
LITERALLY there is NOTHING better
I dont even know where to start talking abt this bc its good, so imma start with how amazing of an introduction Path To Ascendancy is for the series
It's set slightly before the formation of the Malazan Empire, and the first book (Dancer's Lament) introduces you to who I THINK (based on vague messages from friends reading/done with the main series) are some of the whole series' main/prominent cast in a super interesting way. Dorin has this super subtle character arc that surprisingly changes him very much by the end of the book, and "Wu" (we'll never know if that was his real name) opens the floodgates to some kind of dark ancient magics and its SUPER awesome. The side protagonists like Ullara, Silk, Hood's Mortal Sword and Iko are all super interesting and most of which go through some huge character arcs of their own, and it's wonderful to watch.
Something this book did really well was lay the groundwork for how multi-POV events work. Since it's set in only 1 city, Li Heng, all the huge events (which ill try not to spoil dw) carry over seamlessly from character to character as we see where everyone is, what they're doing, how they individually react, and how it effects them and their relationships with eachother. It was frankly mindblowing as my first read-through. There were a lot of sub-plots left sort of hanging at the end of the book, but considering Li Heng is back in the third book, Kelanved's Reach, I expect most of them will have some form of resolution.
Deadhouse Landing on the other hand is a very different story. The tone is different, it's a lot slower until near the end, it does away with many of the first book's characters but introduces some fantastic ones. I love the Crust brothers, I love Tayschrenn, I LOVE Nedurian, I HATE Tallow, I LOVE Lee, there's just so many new people to follow and it's really a blast. This book also opens up the world of Malazan a lot more, with locations such as Nap, Kartool, Shadow, Malaz City, Cawn, etc. I learned more about some of the gods, met a few, and overall the pacing was way more approachable than DL.
Esselmont really managed to pack a ton of information and progression into this one book, ESPCIALLY at the end. "Wu" especially goes through a ton of growth, albeit less in his personality and more in his magery and talent, eventually being able to tame his dark Warren and frighten even the Elders. My sole conplaint is that I still have no idea what the fuck a Deadhouse is supposed to be. Is it like a pocket dimension? Why does it have to grant you access and not it's guardians? Why does the ground suck up trespassers and where do they go if they're "still alive in a way"?????
These books I gotta say have some incredible imagery, though. Almost every line as I read I am picturing as a film or tv series in my head without flaw. Near the end of DHL theres this perfect scene of a bridge over a murky swampy river, in the middle of the night, covered in dozens of soldier's bodies with one man stood over them, another bridge burning in the background, while another two dozen soldiers are charging in in 2 collumns, their commander following behind. It's so fucking badass and as the scene plays out from the very beginning you reeeeally get invested in the quick and summarized combat. One thing I keep finding issue with is that since his introduction where he is very much visibly a youth, I cannot for the life of me picture "Wu" in his elderly disguise. Like I know he isn't old, obviously, and neither do any other mages or Dorin, but every time his aged features are described I cannot for the life of me picture him as such. Idk, just something I dislike.
So far, one chapter in, I'm loving Kellanved's Reach. I feel like I'm really watching the birth of an Empire, which is exactly what's happening. I know of at least 4 relccurring characters from this prequel series who'll be in the main series, so I'm super hyped to get there. Unfortunately the prologue made it quite clear that one of the characters I really liked from DL is totally gonna like die or something, so that sucks, but at least he's back. In the first chapter alone it also immediately matches the amount of new locations as in all of DHL, and ik for a FACT there'll be more. I love the gradual increase in the reader's knowledge of the world of Malazan as you go through each book, and this is still only 1 of several continents. Absolutely stellar.
Something this trilogy does super well is that it makes you grow and love the characters from the first book, make you forget most of them in the second while introducing a shitload of new ones you love, and now it seems the third is bringing both sets of casts together for the birth of the Malazan Empire. It's so so well done and I just love it so much.
So yeah, just wanted to rant a bit. I just love Malazan sm already and I need to share it with the world ;-;
If you like fantasy books with magic, war, fancy swordplay and dueling, usurping, pirates, naval combat, a splash of politics, mythology, etc., then I cannot reccomend enough this series.
It.
Is.
MINDBLOWING
I'm not sure if I would say to start from this prequel series or the main series, but I will say this trilogy has made it very easy to understand the mythos and the magics of Malazan in a gradual but explicatif way that just sort of subconciously builds as I read.
but seriously go read this shit so I can nerd out with ppl abt it
in other news, i have an adorable lil DW fic im working on and its preeettyyy goooooddd so stay tuned for it :D
ight CYA
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sk3tch404 · 1 year
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I forgot to mention this in my last ask oop– but don't worry about making it to the Halloween deadline, no one's gonna be mad if you miss it (if they are I'm gonna fistfight them myself istg-(ง'̀-'́)ง) considering it's obvious how much effort you've already put into this project, so take it easy. You don't owe us anything, especially since you're the one who's generously sharing a whole self made game with us and it's for free too❗️❗️ like,,, it would definitely be incredible if you manage to finish it till Halloween, but it's also more than okay if you can't. We'll just be patiently waiting for you to finish, so no stress alright? Always remember: take breaks and hydrate or else you die-drate :DDDD
-Ren'py anon
Augh thank you so so so much.
I just want everything to be somewhat mindblowing and idk, maybe have someone do a perfect date halloween special post on me.
Crazyyyyy amount of stress. Coding and drawing day in and day out. Now I understand why people hate office jobs so much. Thanks nonny, you're right, I just need to stop stressing the hell out about the date.
Just breathe.
Just chilllllll out.
Its definitely has some heavily stuff in it, but it's nothing too too crazy.
Genuinely though, thank you for reassuring me about this made up deadline thing I made for myself. I was so worried that no one would care for my game because I wasn't posting about it. I didn't think it would be obvious I was working super duper hard.
You're a cool dude Renpy anon.
And yes, I will remember to drink water ans not die-drate lol
But fr that dehydrate joke made me laugh
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exocean · 4 years
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rtk spoilers in the tags
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thequibblah · 3 years
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director's commentary for the parts about how lily views sex in chapter 38? i found this so interesting and relatable and i love how it's so different from her attitudes in the solar power oneshot, it just shows how much awesome character growth is to come!
this is really the tallest task i've given myself with lily's character development LOLLLL but i at least have strong feelings about it so here we go
so. when i started writing this fic a significant question was what lily's level of romantic experience was because that will factor into not just her relationship w dex but also how her feelings for james evolve over time. (also it obviously impacts her and how she thinks of romance!) i find myself not very compelled by a lily who is waiting for marriage/love without like....a reason or a well-established underlying character explanation for that. i find it more interesting to explore when a principled character maybe has a less established principle, and finally has to come up against it and make a decision. (as a sidenote, i also wanted to write a lily whose fears and anxieties and desires are more in line with what i/my female friends talked about and thought about in high school)
lily re: sex has been a huge thread-the-needle sitch. like many in Our Society she has complicated feelings about the role of sex in her life, as a good girl tee em, but i also didn't want to establish a weird madonna/whore situation with the female cast of the fic, like, Only Some Girls Have Sex. considering that lily herself grapples with being a good girl and, well, still containing multitudes, i wanted to think out those complications through her.
at the same time, i think there's a tendency in fic (or really, any sort of romance story) to make sex super black and white. like, you have it with the Wrong Person and so it's bad, but then you have it with the Right Person and everything clicks! it's certainly true that you can have less-than-good sex with someone and the reason for that is them, but i really didn't (and don't!) want to make it seem like it'll be a simple and easy switch to james for lily because they're going to fall in love. it won't be! don't let the oneshot fool you!
she has things to figure out, and that, to some degree, is unaffected by who she's with (or isn't with). she's not like, wow it was such a mistake to have sex with this guy because i didn't love him! she's not like wow it was such a mistake to have sex with this guy because it wasn't mindblowing (she had low-ish expectations, which mary might say is a problem in and of itself but that's a separate thing lol)! it's all very convoluted and i don't want to delve too deep into questions that i mean to address in the fic itself.
but, anyway, though lily does do the deed, it's not entirely separable in her mind from residual shame. and who among us who experiences misogyny doesn't know that feeling lolllll. she's not walking around handwringing about how she's sinned against god, partly because catholic guilt would add about ten dimensions of complication to this fic and also because i was not raised christian, and don't feel well-equipped to go there. more than religion lily is anxious about having played against type.
this is made harder for her in contrast — obviously we judge ourselves not in absolutes but relative to those around us. so on the one hand lily has people like petunia who believe in propriety and undoubtedly look down on sex before marriage, and on the other she has friends like mary who are very ~modern~ in their sensibilities. rather than the latter being reassuring, though, i imagine it's....almost a barrier in its own way, because she sees a friend who's cooler and freer than her and is like, mary would do this because she's like this, and i'm demonstrably not like this, so i shouldn't do this (no matter mary's frank conversations on the subject!)
and in between all this is the fact that....she's a person who experiences desire! complication!!!! she wants something that she's not sure she should want, even though she feels that other people are free to have the same thing:
“Mare, are you really going to take a magazine’s advice on becoming a...truly sexual woman?” Despite her amusement, she half-stuttered over the word, even though she knew there was nothing to be shy about. It was the seventies, for crying out loud. They could talk about such things now. Said descriptors just did not necessarily apply to her.
in ch. 9 when she asks mary about sex, she really wants an answer that will absolve her of those complicated uncertain feelings — and of course mary can't give it to her. no one can!
so she's bearing all that baggage and trying to forge forward with the sensibility of well, i shouldn't be shy about this! it's the 70s! we're past that! without considering that just because society has apparently come so far (which, has it even? lol) that doesn't mean she's ready to go that far. and that was what i was pushing with the interlude bits immediately around the sexytimes:
Get it over with, a voice in her head said. The first time wouldn’t be the best time. All she had to do was cross this one hurdle and she could stop feeling so bloody nervous, like she was at the edge of a cliff she’d never be able to climb back up [...] and if only she could get over her silly hangup she’d be a lot less tense. That was just a fact. Everyone knew it about her. Even good girls needed to loosen up. Right? Right. This decision-making took a split second in her mind; she had rehearsed each argument so many times that she did not need very long to run through it again. So without a hint of hesitation she said, “Yes.”
and its not a coincidence that this comes right after a flashback to doris and her friend:
“Living together,” Lily’s mother sighed, her head angled towards her friend. “And she was such a sweet girl when I had her in school, too, so studious—” “Oh, yes,” Gertie said, nodding vigorously, “I always thought she’d wait to marry, let alone get involved with someone so soon—” “And like this!” Doris sighed once more.
of course lily can all too vividly imagine someone else saying that exact thing about her
this reads like so much word vomit LOL but thank you it was fun to try and explain my thinking here!
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Fic writer questions!
Thanks for the tag @woodswit Seeing everyone’s answers to these is always so mindblowing since everyone is so prolific, and I’m decidedly not. But you know, I’ll answer anyways. 
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
9
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
290,644 (about half of which were written in 5 months...everything since has been pulling teeth)
3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?
Just asoiaf
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
What Lies Beneath her Skin, Shock You Like You Won’t Believe, I Just Think I’ll Scream, Know the Love - Part II (Part I is what lies beneath her skin, because I’m super inconsistent)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Sometimes....I get really overwhelmed tbh, so if I don’t respond to a comment is probably because it was so thoughtful and nice that I have nothing intelligent to say back....or I’m in a period where my inbox stresses me out and so I’m avoiding it. I do LOVE comments though...I’m just a bad person. 
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Funny of you to assume my fics have endings. My only one with an ending, is kind of angsty though, so I’ll go with What Lies Beneath her Skin.
7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Shock You Like You Won’t Believe (it’s not technically finished but its my only fic that isn’t angsty)
8. Do you write crossovers?
No
9. Have you received hate on a fic?
Hahaha....yes. I got so much hate on my very first fic, and it came all at once, like a fire hose, so now I’m inured. 
(I’ve also started leaving Big Lebowski gifs in response to hateful comments and it amuses me to no end)
10. Do you write smut?
I have attempted it once and am dabbling in it with some unposted stuff, if only as a writing exercise to get out of my comfort zone. I don’t think I’ll ever be much of a smut writer. 
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I doubt it
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
no, but whenever I get comments in another language I’m so shocked and pleased!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
No, but I’m trying to needle a certain someone into writing a fic with me. They are much better about finishing things in a timely manner, so maybe they’d whip me into shape. 
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Well, I write Jonsa...but I enjoy reading a lot of other ships (lately its been dramione....I’ve come verrrrrry late to the HP fandom, lol) 
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
At the rate I’ve been writing lately, I’m worried I wont’ finish any of my wips, though I still intend to! (except Funny, but when you’re near me....I don’t think I’m going to finish that one)
16. What are your writing strengths?
I really like my characterization of Jon Snow. He comes easier to me than Sansa (which is odd since my first fic is almost entirely her POV) Dialogue. Plotting
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Not finishing what I’ve started. Commas. 
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I don’t have many thoughts about it..though I have a few bilingual characters in Shock You that use some Spanish endearments/expressions with each other but its pretty light. 
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Asoiaf...and I didn’t start writing fic until the end of 2019. 
20. What’s your fave fic you’ve written?
That really just depends on the day, but I have a soft spot for rose...thou art sick. I really like writing an older Sansa. 
Tagging whoever wants to play. 
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noonymoon · 4 years
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hi tumblr~!
as some of you maybe remember i’ve almost died in April this year and i’ve wanted to sincerely thank everyone who was so kind to reach out to me through my friend Ariel. it was amazing to read your messages after waking up from a couple days of post-6h-brain-surgery-coma right on my 30th birthday while being entirely alone in the hospital due to this crappy covid situation. it really made me happy in that situation and i appreciate it. it’s now August and apart from a few weird and annoying things that still need rehabilitation, i’ve actually recovered entirely! which is a miracle in itself and i am very, very grateful.
this experience really forced me to wake up. i’ve already gone through a lot of trauma in the three years that led up to this point but this happening, this one was really, really bad. during my three weeks in the hospital, i was too damaged and too drugged to really think about it but as soon as i was released, a huge spiritual depression creeped up on me. nothing made sense anymore. what is the meaning of life? how do we define personal success? why does nothing seem important at all? i’ve wrestled with it and picked myself up again because i thought “i just have to be more positive and see the actual miracle here!” and was eager to continue with my life the way it was before: i’ve ordered a bunch of spiritual books, almost signed up for a really expensive class on mediumship and forced myself back into divination after not having practiced for a whole month. i’ve also started to talk with “my angels” again but something felt just really, really off. my tarot cards just didn’t tell me anything anymore, the passion, the feeling, the love - it was all gone. my spiritual depression and then fake motivation turned into a spiritual crisis and i didn’t know what was happening. 
around the same time, i’ve got confronted with two other things: one was the actual happenings of the real world (which i’ve usually pushed faaaar back in my mind because i’ve already learned over 10 years ago that it just made me sick) and another thing that really just bugged and annoyed me deeply. i’ve had the same annoying and bugging thing knocking on my door just like one or two months earlier and i’ve violently pushed it away because i didn’t wanna deal with it at all. but this time, i’ve tried to just remain open. it was a huge struggle back and forth. i think for a few days i’ve changed my mind on this topic like 5 times. i even called my grandmother to ask her what i should do and think about this (and i never really do that at all, i am kinda very private when it comes to my actual family *lol*).
long story short: i’ve surrendered and just tried to remain open from there on because to be quite honest, i actually knew nothing about the topic in question, for real, i just had a bunch of bad prejudices, i guess. 
researching A LOT about both topics in question, tearing down my ignorant walls, crying utterly, praying for the truth, consuming knowledge, i’ve realized that suddenly everything makes sense. this entire crazy world suddenly made sense. every single part of it. 
i’ve realized A LOT of things. i’ve realized how bad my life had actually been. i’ve realized how wrong i was and how i’ve been deceived to think that THIS is truly what life is. i was shocked but felt great relief at the same time.
when i’ve felt the Love of God, our one true creator, upon me - and it was so immense that it actually hurt - i’ve cried out bitterly, repented of my sins, and invited Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.
i know that this is probably not the environment that is open to Him because i was in the exact same place just last year. i was so mad when Doreen Virtue posted her blog post about how literally every single spiritual thing is evil and straight up a deception from Satan and i’ve called her a hypocrite and a liar, all that jazz, i totally get it. i’ve dug into the what’s and why’s and how’s and have to say i come to the exact same conclusion, even if this sounds super radical - it is the truth.
i am not religious, never was, never will be. i am not even baptized, never been to a single religion class in my life. i am literally a blank paper and not indoctrinated by any infiltrated teaching or view about what Christianity is supposed to be. Jesus is not about religion. the gospel of Jesus was never intented to be a religion. even Jesus himself rebuked the religious people in the story of the Bible because they twisted the faith in God already back then.
i am not denying that there ARE other deities since i know first hand that a lot of people work with them. the story of the Bible was never intended to display that there IS only ONE God - the story of the Bible is that there IS only ONE creator, the only true God who deserves praise.
obviously the Bible is a lot more complicated and a lot more layered in its message (it’s been only like 2 months and of course i am not entirely through it yet *lol*) but from my extensive research and my prayers to Jesus to please reveal the truth to me, i’ve been discovering MINDBLOWING things.
i am not here to convert any of you if you don’t want that. if you feel uncomfortable with the whole topic, i can understand this entirely since i know how i’ve felt before i’ve let God’s love and truth touch my heart. i won’t tell you what to do in regards to your faith. 
i am ACTUALLY here again to blog about the first topic i’ve mentioned that i was confronted with: the world happenings that i urge everyone to know about since times could get really, really difficult soon-ish. since both topics go deeply hand in hand, i needed to give my testimony first.
i invite you to stay on this blog and just read into what i am presenting you in the following posts. my mission is to not bash anyone with too much information or extremely long posts that nobody has time to read, provide good ressources and keywords for research, if you’re interested.
i pray for all people to wake up from this fake world and that all of you are safe and protected ♡ may God bless everyone who is reading ♡
PS. please don’t message me! i know i’ve used to love to talk to literally everyone on here, but i truly don’t have neither the capacity nor time nor mood to really socially engage online anymore. i am still rehab-ing my health, managing my life, studying the word of God and doing a ton of research.
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