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mariii1 · 1 year

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✨️Your Future Crush/Love Interest & Squish✨️

Yes, all you aro/aces can join in today 😌

1-2

3-4-5

Pac Song Theme:

OMG I'm did a pac during finalss week?! Yes, this is how I deal with stress, I'm also going to be doing another one inspired by a tarot reader on here for as an end of year celebration get readyyy🤗

‼️CW: topics surrounding violence, SA, abuse/trauma came up just as a heads up‼️

🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉

1. Might really like money. They think about their career a lot, and not just in a very workaholic mindset but this is someone that likes capitalism. They might like to one up people or they think they're better than others for pursuing money even if they don't have a lot. A very scummy feeling from this person, would be the type to take you to a michellen star restaurant and then be really angry if you didn't sleep with them afterwards. (s!A vibes for some) 🤢🤮 I feel like they see themselves in this very righteous manner but they're really not okay in the head and I mean that respctfully. They may struggle with chronic mental illnesses but their narcissist habits make it impossible for them to heal themselves. Uhhhhh I don't wish you good luck with this person and I hope you manifest another pile HAHAHA. this person could love to brag about flying/trips theyve been on. It's giving wealthy americans that think just because they traveled overseas they know the country better than the locals and tell racist jokes cuz they think they can 🤦🏾‍♀️

Squish: Literally the mild version of the romance. 😭😭 Again, this person likes money but isn't that obsessed. Again they might take you on trips but this is a really nice person even if they come across as ignorant. They could've been born with a golden spoon in they mouth, its giving stupid but v sweet. I think you'll like this person a lot, although I personally cant fck with this type, I'm strongly feeling your positive emotions. I think they can be a bit petty and immature tho although that's heavily connected to whatever privilege they have, even if its not necessarily financial.

🐶🐶🐶

2. I started sneezing like crazy the moment I started you're reading, for some this a future spouse or a long term commitment for you, whatever that means to you. AGAINnn with the money like are we all in college now wtf, anyway. This person feels stunted financially or just in general with something they value. Mostly career though for you all, maybe they keep getting rejected from jobs they want or they couldn't get a full-time job out of college and had to do more internships etc. It's just like they feel behind career wise or maybe even life wise. You could be ahead of them but I'm getting the two of you struggle together sometimes. This future partner/crush is very close to you rn and some of you know them already and this is your current crush. I think you guys will start off as good friends right away even if you're not (already) best friends. This could be a future squish too for some of you.

Squish: this is your future crush for everyone that's not aro. Even if you are, there's lots of physical intimacy even if its platonic. Lots of hugs and cuddling each other when you're sad. Both of you could be fems/women. They're very precious and I think that's what pulls you in. They have a soft approachable energy and they're funny. I think they can be rlly awkward and its v funny to you 🤭. They could also struggle with social anxiety and you might tease them about it sometimes. Both of you could be in college and stressed about student loans or money again. You could also just both have the same financial situation in terms of your household. Like literally the same family situation too.

🦝🦝🦝

3. This could be a future partner. You could've liked this person in the past, but they hurt you in some way or were mean? They could've been a loner even if they were ok with other people. You could be manifesting this person even if you don't know it. If you don't already know this person, they could be hurtful in some way, even when you two first meet. I keep getting the Empress for these piles, but I think its the first time in all my readings that I've had to interpret it in a negative way, interesting. This could be someone you have cycles with. Yeah they can just be rude unprovoked and I think that will be your first impression of them even if they're attitude isn't directed towards you. I don't think you know why you like this person and I think it's something you want/should figure out. Please be aware this can show up in multiple ways, it doesn't mean theyll call you a slut or curse at you, but it's much more passive aggressive and just rude. Like I don't think this person takes people seriously especially when it comes to others emotions and they like to play the victim when you try to assert boundaries.

Squish: You're going to really like this personnnn. They might heal some trauma you've had in the pass and they might really be againts your future crush. You're going to be friends with this person, for wlmost all of you close friends maybe besties. I think you might struggle alot of abandonment issues and feeling alone or isolated and I think they'll really help with that. This is someone who doesn't settle and is always moving onto the next big thing, even if it's about a partner. Yeah they might introduce you to other people, but you only really like this person. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you developed a crush on them after your future crush 🤭🙈 They also could've been through a lot and may have had the same tastes in people as you do in they past, so you might see them get very like fervent(?), like passionate about trying to educate you about the people you date/hang around even when you never asked for their opinion. I think they feel like you could do better for yourself but you can't see that. LOL you might find this really annoying and although it is, they have a point most of the time. When I say taste in people, this could apply to any relationship; they look at who you attract in terms of friends, or even family and the workplace for some you, and feel like they need to protect you.

🐱🐱🐱

4. So apparently this is my pile, so for y'all who chose another pile and feel like you're getting flamed, don't worry I probably am too 😭. This person again could be a loner or feel lonely. I feel there's something they went through that deeply impacted them negatively but they just don't deal with those emotions and try not to think about. This person may not tell you what it is like ever, or they tell you and play down the situation a lot esp cuz they might feel like it could make other people worry about them. This is someone who's been through a lot, like some really tough stuff for some you; they could've been an addict or had parents/guardians who were, they could have been bullied a lot and like aggressively, they could've been assaulted at school. They just really could of been through physical hell, literally, maybe there's a poimt where they were chronically in pain. This person has definitely visited a hospital more than a few times or its a miracle they're still alive and walking. You could've met this person veryyy briefly in your childhood, idk why but this is giving a manhwa storyline 💀💀 I'm specifically think of Park Hanhoo's Manager. Anywayyy, they came out on top. They really did, I feel they may compare themselves to average human being but they shouldn't bc their on a whole different level. And I feel what makes your pussy/bussyy pop is their strength. Cuz they handle things with so much gracee I tell you. They may feel behind but I think you view them very differently and I think for who they are as a person when you meet them, you're gonna give them their due respect, even if they don't have the best personality in the world. It's up to you whether or not you really want to pursue this person because I'm getting they could also become a mentor or just a friend. This could be someone at your workplace, whether you swutch jobs or they do.

Squish: Similar vibes, but more like they may have been betrayed by friends in the past or had shitty friends. They could be kind of a loner as a result and like to keep their distance but some of you will meet them at a time when their more emotionally available. This is someone that doesn't like to stay in one place, but I feel like they feel stagnant internally. They could be someone who does a lot of kind actions and could be very helpful although they're not necessarily friendly. They're nice in a very genuine and non-cliche way. If you made a mistake at work they'll give it to you straight, but they'll tell you exactly how you can do better in a non-judgmental way and are always willing to help you. They will answer your questions and paradoxically almost, they have no patience for bullshit, but they do have patience for you and people who are just less experienced than them. They could literally be from the streets. Nvm I ain't getting flamed, I love this pile y'all 🥰

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5. This is a go getter for sure, but they can honestly be very impulsive in general. I keep getting distracted while doing this reading, they may or may not have adhd. This is a definite future spouse/long term partner for a lot of yall. They're very whimsical but not stupid. I think this is someone who believes in science but still likes occult stuff just cuz they can. For the majority of you, this isn't a conservative right leaning hippie who believes in antisemitic conspiracy theories. Even if they like tarot, they don't take it seriously or they could really like astrology lore but don't take it seriously all the time. This is a smart person even if they may not seem like at a first glance. Idk what it is about them, but they look kinda stupid depending on what you think that looks like. Like they could look like a frat boy/mommas boy but it's only bc they don't kno how to dress and they're actually really nerdy and support human rights stuff, like they're pro choice, acab, whatever. However I feel like you won't know that much about them even after developing a crush. This may be someone that you get to know over a lengthy period of time.

Squish: Again this could be your future partner/crush i described above. This person will take you out a lot, like just to hang out they'll want to go to a new cafe or want to see a new place that's opening up. I'm getting they don't necessarily like traveling long distance or flying tho. Y'all could live in an area that has a lot of things to do, there's always something new. They aren't rich but they still know how to have fun without spending a lot of money. Its really giving teen afterschool fun vibes, you guys might hang out at a mutual friends place a lot together. And that may be how you first meet. Again this person isn't super open but they are still a bit friendly and I don't think they mind getting to know you particular. I have a feeling they don't care if they don't have friends at all, they seem to be very content by themselves and know how to have fun. They may be what I like to call a quiet extrovert.

#Spotify #pac reading #pac #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a pile reading #queer tarot #tarot reading #tarot #love tarot reading #future spouse #future partner #pinkpantheress #ace #asexuality #aroace #bjorkmusic #bjork #cibo matto

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catatombi · 2 months

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meow hi im back

hi, im sorry its been so long since ive posted, ive been having a severe mental health crisis and had to be hospitalized and then attend a 4 week intensive outpatient program until i wasn't in danger anymore anyways ! im better now ! i graduated the program on the 23rd and im surprisingly close to 200 followers despite my absence :0 !! ill be holding a raffle when i get there !! :3 i also have a ton of art backlogged, ill work on uploading it slowly, ive still been very tiered i havnt logged into this account in over a month :( we gettin there tho, things will be good & ok

#cw// sui #tw// sui #im ok !!!#personal

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razzdrgn · 5 months

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ok it's time for razz recipes get ready for some cooking momence

i have an eviction trial in 2 weeks so im gonna teach you how to make extremely cheap recipes with as few ingredients as possible because i have no money to spend and enough mental disorders to make me love cooking but hate the amount of work that goes into it

todays recipe is: flatbread, probably of the mediterranean variety but i dont know actual recipes i legit just made this shit up after watching the bdg zelda recipes video

all you need is:

flour

water

a pan

and thats it. Its that easy

theres more you can use to make it better tho and ill bring those up as they come up but ill do the whole cooking instructions thing under this readmore

okay so. flatbread

i think its also called like. unleavened? but i dont really know what that means and im still confused after looking it up so im just callin it flatbread because it is bread that is flat

step one is to pour some flour in a bowl. i recommend about 1 cup, but i never really measure and do it by eye/feel so you can add more or less if you want.

first optional thing to talk about briefly before the recipe really starts is salt. i highly highly highly recommend adding salt to this, because it allows the bread to actually have. yknow. flavor. and not suck. but ive made this without salt and its also good so like, do whatever u want

you can also add other spices if you want flavoring like that. ive had success with garlic powder and red pepper flakes, but honestly cookijg is most tun when ur just wingin it so throw whatever spices you like in and see how it turns out

so once all ur dry stuff is in the bowl, you should gently mix/whisk it together. i usually use a fork or knife for this since flour sticks to shit a lot and the smaller surface it has the less its gonna stick. plus with a fork it helps get things in evenly really quickly.

once everythings in and mixed is when you add your water. id say like, roughly 1/3 to 3/8ths of a cup is fine, or adjusted for how much flour you have, you really do not need much, just enough that everything comes together. if you add enough that its a bit of a shaggy but congealed mass, you can turn it out onto a work surface and knead it/fold it a little to make it thicker. i didnt like it when i did this because of texture things so i like to add just enough extra for it to be a bit of a goop.

once you got your "dough" make sure your pan is on the stove heated to uh. 3? or 4? i hate that stoves dont have proper temp markings but thats about as hot as i make mine on whatever arbitrary scale it uses.

at this point you can add in the next optional thing, which is some sort of fat. this can be an oil of your preferred variety (i am canola gang because i like to fry things while also being allergy friendly), or you can just melt some butter which is what i usually do. hell you could use like, lard or crisco if you've watched too many b dylan hollis videos. a fat is a fat. its gonna help cook the bread more evenly, will make its "crust" crispier, and make it taste better.

all you gotta do now us dump your dough onto the pan and let it cook. roughly five minutes per side but you can flip it a few times if you need, just keep an eye on it. you wanna check the edges to make sure the insides are getting properly cooked all the way through, and make sure to press down on it to make sure its making full contact with the heated surface when possible as especially thinner breads can tend to curl up a bit

while its cooking in the pan you can optionally add some shredded cheese onto the bread. i recommend doing this right before adding your dough, and right after, to make sure the cheese gets properly incorporated into each side, but you totally can also just drizzle it on at any stage and let it melt by flipping the bread onto the cheesed side. i use an italian 4 cheese mixture from my cheap local supermarket chain and thats good for the kinda savory flavor i like, but experiment! use one cheese you like, or maybe a different blend (i also really like mexican cheese blends that u use for tacos or burritos).

once the stuffs nicely cooked and browned, its good to eat. i mean its technically been ok to eat this whole time none of the ingredients are necessarily bad to eat raw but obviously you dont wanna shove fistfuls of flour into your maw.

i recommend pairing this with an iced tea of your favorite flavor persuasion as tea is a nice smooth drink you can also make super easily, some refried black beans which you can get in a can super cheap and turn into a nice dip, and some yellow mustard, which honestly goes with this way more than i thought it would by adding a bit of a sour kick which i like. obviously try pairing it with whatever you have in your kitchen, i dont know what you have. maybe you got some eggs that are about to expire and want to make some kinda breakfast bread. maybe you wanna feel that kinda childlike wonder by combining foods so you mix it with some box mac and cheese and ketchup. maybe you splatter some tomato sauce and add some kind of cheese product to make it into a shitty pizza. i have done all of these things and they are certainly all things you can do if you also want to do them

thank you for reading my extremely long recipe post join me next time where i do uhhh. something else maybe. maybe ill do that iced tea method i talked about i feel like for some folks hot tea can be a bit unapproachable and ice tea can feel like its impossible to make but i promise you its way easier than you think

ok bye!! love you

#recipe #razz recipes #cooking #cheap recipes #easy recipes #god i dont know what to tag this #i hope yall like it tho

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spacehostilityy · 10 months

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My NNT rewatch s1ep19-24

Ps these are backlogged lol I watched fast but then ran out of time for work. Posting this now bc I'm going to Appalachia to visit family and will have very little wifi lol

I know Elaine is pretty underdeveloped (nothing a little fanfic can't fix), but I do love how even in flashbacks, she's more serious and responsible than king

Why was Diane still like 6 after hundreds of years ?? Like why wouldn't they just show her aging?

ITS BEEN 500 YEARS? Meaning only a couple centuries before present?? WHY IS DIANE SO SMALL? HOW BAD WAS HER GROWTH SPURT???

Damn king rlly said mercy kill

The Druids having the technique Enslavement of the Dead is actually really cool because it shows us that the goddess race really was that fucked up from the very beginning. Like the characters realize that Ludociel and Nerobasta are not all there made out to be eventually, but we can see just from the types of abilities the druids (aka those closest to and led by the goddess race) possess

Hendrickson saying "bien, princesa" or EVEN BETTER "THAT'S A GOOD GIRL" LIKE ASDJSKFJSL hes evil and a little annoying but so fcking hot

Ban telling Meliodas he loves him and then trying to kill him while meliodas is just like bitch I'm busy we can do this later is so funny

this man gives zero fucks

Ban being the first to realize (after merlin obvi, but she always knew) that Meliodas is a demon and also being the first to accept him means so much to me. This is why I love their relationship. No matter how horrible the other seems to be (or is lol), they stand by each other. I mean not in this specific scenario, but Ban only cares bc the horn of cernunos told him to, so I don't think it really counts. (im delusional)

also I'm typing this on my laptop now and I forgot that I can type this fast ehehe AND i found a way to screenshot so no more taking pics of my laptop for meee

Something about characters begging for death (ban and meliodas) makes me become obsessed with them (i am mentally ill)

MELIODAS BEING WILLING TO LET BAN KILL HIM (if he can do so successfully lol)😭 I know he would just come back, but he would be stuck in Purgatory ASJDKFJSL I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH

every day, i find out just how i much i am capable of shipping them and every day that limit is surpassed

straight besties that would literally die for each other is the ideal fictional relationship

esp bc melizabeth (my actual main ship) doesn't get rlly good until she regains her memories/is a flashback

AJSHDFKSDB FNFKS BAN PICKING UP GIL WHILE MARGARET AND VIVIAN SOB AND JUST TELLING THEM "im borrowing this"

bro i totally forgot dreyfus fucking dies how does he come back??

ok ban is having his MOMENT after finding out hendy has been using the corpse of the red demon HE killed 20 yrs ago

also I know ban is like 43 and the whole twilight argument is edward is basically just a 100 year old man so following that logic, Ban is middle aged BUT as someone who is close in age to Ban from before he became immortal, that man is the most 23 year old man to ever 23 year old man. He is chronically in his early 20s frfr

king realizing in that moment judt how wrong he was abt the destruction of the fairykings' forest is the biggest oh fuck moment lol

also i may have 🏴‍☠️ed the bandit ban ova to hurt my own feelings

hendy taunting ban by saying his demonic powers are all thanks to him and ban just saying he's "always happy to help" is such a mood honestly

hendy gets hotter with every demon transformation😔

Meliodas and Ban mourning hawk actually makes me so sad wtf

elizabeth is such a bad bitch when she awakens her power i love her

also hendy being like wow such a powerful druid as if he himself is not a druid and should know this power (and her eyes) is goddess level 🤨

i bet meliodas was shitting himself trying to see whether or not re reawakened her memories tho like damn he was actually probably so scared he would lose her in 3 days without the chance to break their curses

Diane and Ban having the exact same expression is actually rlly funny to me

LAST EP OF SEASON 1!!!!!

WAIT OMG IS HE GOING TO REVENGE COUNTER👀👀

wow i remember so little of season 1 lol

them all just beating the everloving shit out of meliodas is entirely too funny to me

HAHA i was RIGHT about revenge counter im literally a genius

😏 face down ass up babygorl

this is one of the cutest frames in the whole show fr fr😌

Diane: "Sorry we didnt come for you sooner!☺️" King: "Yeah we've never kidnapped a princess before haha :}"

so in the very last after credits scene, gil, howzer, and griamore are all standing around Dreyfus's work table staring at the drawing of meliodas's demon mark as. But as we know from other characrers later on, can have lots of different marks. Meliodas, Zeldris, and Estarossa all have the same one, but maybe this is a family thing? But if it is, why would demon!Hendy have it?? is the grey denon somehow a relatuve of the demon bros lol

anyway I FINISHED SEASON ONEEEEE

ill do a mini ramble over the ovas that netflix likes to call season 2 then move on to the read deal

#seven deadly sins #tess rambles on her nnt rewatch #nanatsu no taizai #nnt #7ds #tess rambles #meliodas #elizabeth liones #elizabeth nnt #ban nnt #diane nnt #gilthunder #howzer #hendrickson #melban #melizabeth #demon mel is best mel

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wolame-o-ccx · 11 months

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ok for the uuuh children!

thought! they have child, no matter if theres fluffy art they grow up, have a kid of they own and so on and so on all the way to eda and lilith, and the way hunter happens is in a bout of mania/feelin not so great episode(hes goin thru itTM), he goes "if only caleb was here, hed know what to do" and only after hunter is incubating people around him have an intervention, he breaks down and gets better but then he realises "ah shit oh fuck, in my bit of mania i accidentally did necromancy" and bada bing bada boom, only like 4 people(pip, lilith(still a part of EC), enzo and uuuhhh eda????? yeah not very set on that, think of a fourth person) know he's a grimwalker, while they tell him he's pip's nephew, cuz telling him "ah yeah i had a mental health episode and made you" aint the best thing to tell someone of hunter's mental fortitude 💀

now the nuclear and kinda crackhead alternate option that i thought of randomly xdd: their kid IS hunter, and he falls through the time pools while one time on the beach and gets stuck in the modern day xdd

HELP ME that would make sense tho 😭 like honestly cause of Philips glyphs on his arms I would assume he has the ability to heal if not even bring someone back to life or something of the sorts ITS A GOOD IDEA ILL THINK ABOUT IT SOME MORE FOR SURE

#asks #sharing caleb au #filip asks

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moonflwer-gutz · 10 months

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What is spider Jonas relationship with all the spider people like?

oooo ok! ill try and get to as many as i possibly can-

pavitr - oh they are BUDDIES they are buddies. these two are so chaotic and don't even get me started when hobie gets in the mix too- Jonah knows not to say Chai Tea ok. since pav is so early into his spidey career, jonah's actually been showing him the ropes. he may not be the best teacher, but a lot of the older spideys are quite busy, and he's happy to help! he's fine with admitting that pav has a lot of natural talent tho. the two of them are like brothers man, always goofing around with each other. these are spider-men who CARE about their HAIR

hobie - god these two are LOUD AS FUCK. they have performed together actually. jonah can play bass! they like to play together quite often! hobie's "fuck the system" attitude mixes well with jonah's "mcpd doesn't do SHIT" mentality. he would bring hobie over to go deface some stuff if it weren't for uh. yknow- but yeah these two are constantly playing music, or screaming lyrics, or breaking shit wherever they go-

gwen - they're chill with each other! he actually really likes to watch her dance. he thinks its incredible that someone can be that graceful both in and out of being spider-man/woman. [cue montage of him being an absolute clutz out of the suit] and yes, she does play drums with him and hobie as well! drums, bass, and guitar! pav attempts to be vocals. attempts. they're still kinda lookin for a singer. he also feels really bad for her. he knows that she's essentially been homeless for the past few months and he wants to help out. she's asked if she could crash in his dimension a few times and he had to really gently say no. he'd give anything to help, and does do it where he can. but he can't let her over there. for her safety.

peter b - oh father figure!! father figure!! he reminds him so much of dave oh my god- yknow how gwen had that "will you adopt me?" moment with jess? that happened with jonah and peter b. jo actually appreciated learning the more mundane lessons about being spider-man from peter (i.e. washing the suit, making sure you don't give yourself muscle pain, etc-). he didn't really have anyone to tell him that part back home. peter tries to get jonah to open up about home but he always just deflects it with a joke or something. peter knows that there's something going on. he actually lets jonah crash in his house on some really bad occasions. mj is a bit off-put at this at first, but she realizes that peter really does care about this kid (he got that dad instinct yknow) so she softens up. she also takes a liking to him. speaking of dad instinct, jonah is really good with mayday actually! she really likes him! he makes her laugh! they're silly together yknow.

miguel - father figure part two. he reminds jonah more of mervin. he's the only one jonah confides in about his universe. he helps him calm his nerves about it, sometimes. in a weird kind of "it'll all work out. just canon events, you know this, jonah. your universe isn't going to hurt any of ours, it's well within its regulations." it's a weird kind of comfort but it works. it's better than nothing. he's loyal to miguel because he's brought him that comfort. that as long as he follows the rules, no one will get hurt. outside his universe that is. the way jonah sees it, the "canon event" thing means he did do all he could to save those that he loved. that no matter what he did, the ones that died were going to die and that was the end of it. it wasn't a happy thought, but it kept him from blaming himself for a bit. but then...

miles - the two got along right off the bat when he first showed up. he was just a chill kid. he had cool art, a good music taste, a sick suit! they clicked instantly! miles also being a younger spidey, jonah tried to show him some stuff too. but of course, when all the anomaly stuff hit, jonah was fighting alongside miguel. but then miles starts to kind of convince him...maybe canon events can be changed. maybe you can fight against them. and somehow that brings a weight off his shoulders. he can save people. he doesn't have to give up and let them die. in the end, he'd switch to miles' side. of course, he's still terrified at the prospect of his universe crashing into another, but there's something about miles' determination. his assurance that they can save those they care about. that spider-man can do both...it gives jonah hope that he can save his friend from losing himself completely. and that helps a lot.

#tmc spiderman au #spidey!jonah #across the spiderverse #moonflwer writes #moonflwer answers #tmc au #tmc

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just-sarah-xx · 6 months

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someone sent me something and now i'm wondering if i have autism or ocd and like

wtf.

help

asdfghjkl;'

also slight sh tw under the cut

but yesterday i started randomly sobbing my eyes out and my mum came in and was like are u ok and i was like no i'm obviously not going to open up and be like oh my life this because uhm. yeah. anyways she was like (in a really like ironic(??) and like pitying-but-joke way?) hm. wOuLd yOu fEeL bEtTeR iF yOu CuT

and i was like *horror*

but yeah it kinda hurts man.

and then she made up this thing about how even tho i been feeling like this for like a few years its "just hormones" like no. i know i'm not normal okay don't just say it's hormones cos we both know its not.

like i know you were trying to be nice but it really didn't help and now i feel worse than i did before

and also just everyone that's been diagnosed and they're all kind of talking about it and i'm just here and i feel so like invalid cos like my parents are the classic "what's mental illness, you just need to go outside" but yeah i don't know it's just TT-TT i just feel like i shouldn't be saying anything because i haven't been diagnosed with anything and it's like but what if i don't actually have it and what if i'm doing it for attention and what if etc etc and like aaa i dont know if i can even like rb things about like ocd for example cos i technivally havent been diagnosed with it but everyone implies that i have it and it's just so confusing like.

#vent #v3nt #autism #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #family issues #family is hell #tw sh #tw s3lf harm #tw depressing stuff #depression #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #family problems #feelings ig #tw vent #sh vent

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thedisablednaturalist · 7 months

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so sorry ppl that cant read are sending you messages about those posts but i get it completely. rheumatologists and osteos and NP's want to hear more abt my decade old severe anxiety and depression and adhd and ~more~ diagnoses than chronic debilitating pain and just slap vitamin D pills on it and throw up their hands because "test results are weird idk what to tell u even tho i said it was this two weeks ago". abled friends and coworkers can have conversations about their mental health struggles but its looked at self pityingly if i bring up how my life is irreparably damaged by my physical disability because disabled people have to be strong and resilient to earn a place in their field and if you cant cut it just get on those snazzy disability benefits and let it get worse. i think a lot of abled ND people just cant accept that they do not experience the worst of life's struggles and that solidarity doesnt make us the same

I try to be understanding and answer peoples questions politely when I have the spoons and if they are genuinely confused bc I used to be ignorant as well about a lot of aspects of physical disability but it gets so tiring. Nowadays there are a ton of resources from physically disabled people talking about their experiences its actually quite easy to educate yourself on our struggles. Like sorry I get a little frustrated and rude when I'm constantly bombarded by ableism and rude ass people.

Also yeah that's exactly what I've been trying to say. Doctors can usually relate to people having mental health struggles and even some aspects of neurodivergencey. But they cannot understand someone looking completely fine and not being able to detect anything but complaining of horrible pain and constant tiredness outside of the lense of mental health. And if your mental health is managed or only suffering because you are in constant pain, they say you're faking, or OBVIOUSLY you just need to lose weight, or drink more water, or exercise more than any able bodied person does. People take one look at me and think the solution is obvious and I'm just too stupid or lazy to figure it out.

And me saying this isn't saying that mental illness is super easy to deal with. Its fucking awful as well and many doctors say this shit to neurodivergents as well. And this is especially true for poc and people with psychosis or bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

I went to my first therapist in my sophomore year of highschool and got medicated that same year. I started investigating my health issues in college freshman year and have JUST gotten actual results from treatment. SIX fucking years later. SIX fucking years of CONSTANT PAIN. And I have great insurance and a great dad who just wants me to feel better (my mom is a different story). My parents are sort of upper middle class and I live in a very privileged area. Of course that means I can't afford to move out even with an ok salary, but at least there are plenty of doctors around to choose from and plenty of appointments available. I can't imagine how long it takes someone without those advantages. And even still I had to fight to be listened to, I had to listen to so much bs from doctors and had to go from doctor to doctor begging for someone to listen.

Like they really don't get how unbelievably hard it is to get care for physical disabilities, visible and invisible. If you're visibly disabled you get treated like a child and a monster and you're isolated from society. If you're invisibly disabled you get laughed at by doctors and ignored. If it's hard for you guys imagine that difficulty increased by 100%.

I try to be really visible when I'm working in a position I know has my back. I really try to educate young people and children on what my disability looks like and I hope disabled kids and kids who eventually become disabled can see me and know that their lives are valuable and they are valuable. And it is possible to find joy in your life and reasons to keep living. And employers shouldn't be able to throw away our resumes and pay us less just cause we may need a little extra help. I know what everyone thinks when they see me in my wheelchair and using my walking sticks and when I tell them I need to take a break as I'm running out of spoons. I know their first thought is what the hell am I doing here if I'm in so much pain? When people see me by myself in my wheelchair they think I must have gotten lost and separated from my abled handler. I love my job, I love what I do, and I want to be able to keep doing it. But I can't work as long as an abled person, I can't do it without accommodations. Hell abled people shouldn't be working as long as they do either. I wish to live a life where I'm free to do the work I love without killing myself and still be able to live a comfortable life. Every disabled person, working or not, deserves to live a comfortable life.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #physical disability #cripplepunk #spoonie #disability #working while disabled #sorry this is all kinda jumbled and longn #as you all know i write long posts #wrenfea.ask

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seknots-izumimir · 4 months

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ok FINALLY

most iconic twitter layout tbh before my fucking account got nuked (opened it up during a religion lesson thought god suspended me . it was actually copyright violations . right when i almost hit 4.4k) . that girlie is jean grey shes a fucking icon idk if you heard of her . one of the og xmen (token girl) she is insanely powerful she goes nuts several times over the course of her comics career . icon . thats from the new xmen (2000) run, its actually really good if you ever want to get into comics you should definitiely read it

my BESTEST girl im sure youve seen me rave about her before . i think that pic is from uncanny avengers . good enough comic . had my favourite love interest of hers in it (jericho aka doctor voodoo . hes cool) . i had this one for agessss

yet another bestest girl . this is daisy johnson she is perfect in every concievable way . shes bisexual (not canonically but the actress did say oh absolutely when someone asked about it . her ass is so fruity though she looks like she kisses men and women) . shes a hacker . she has fucking awesome earthquake superpowers . shes so mentally ill . i love her . also her mum . number one evil milf .

MY GIRL LENNYYY shes such an icon canon lesbian played by aubrey plaza you dont really get too much better than that . she gets possessed at one point and goes nuts as you can see in this image . that whole sequence is great . the whole show is really fucking trippy and its actually really good andddd i gotta finish it i got chucked into a new hyperfixation around the time i was trying to finish it sadly . its so good tho .

also this is the longest time i had a none marvel pfp i think . this is laurits . from a show called ragnarok idk if youve watched it but they are the best and i fucking love laurits . reincarnation of loki if im remembering how that all worked correctly . very queer as most lokis tend to be (excluding that useless piece of shit sylvie)

anyway sorry for all that this turned into less of a favourite layouts and more of an annoy you about all my faves

you are never annoying friend i love hearing abt ur blorbos

#i ! do not know any of them ! so it is fun to hear abt them !#well minus that one girlie u like. i think

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pumpkzsafeplace · 8 months

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| serious topic (cw: physical violence, anxiety, dissociation)

- Just letting you know that my bf uses It/They/He prns for easier reading

I got a text from my cg saying the they were assaulted by its ex boss today when it went to get the money he’s owed them for two weeks now. He went up to him and asked for it and the guy grabbed them by the neck. My bf ended up shoving him off and screaming for help. His mom came outside and asked what happened, the boss came over and said he didn’t do anything and then also asked how old my bf is (he’s a minor so it would be a bigger charge). Bfs older brother came out with a bat (didn’t do anything tho) and cops got called. My boyfriend was told to finish the task they were doing before it went to its bosses house and his phone ended up dying.

I got the text while at work and immediately told my boss I was going to have a panic attack, she sent me outside to call him and I was told the whole situation. We decided to let them finish the the task before I came over to debrief everything but of course after their phone died and it sent me into a really bad spiral bc at that point it had been two hours since we talked and when I called to make sure everything was ok the call went straight to voicemail. I have severe anxiety over things like this bc of my anxious attachment style and this really just threw me over the edge. I had to take an extra server pad to write down all my thoughts to not have another breakdown. Eventually they texted back and said I could come over. Immediately had a panic attack when it got in my car bc of all the pent up feelings and they also cried a bunch due to the situation and also how their family reacted to it.

Their mom is refusing them therapy bc of other issues it has and decided to bring it up again tonight and instead suggested just venting to me as help even though they constantly claim that I make them more depressed and “irrational” and hate me being with them. It’s just been a rollercoaster of a night and I was hoping you could maybe give some advice or reassurance to both of us bc honestly we both seek comfort in your content and I think we both need it tonight

Sorry for the long rant and I hope this isn’t too much with everything going on in your life right now, I’m very sorry for what happened at the doctors and I hope you can find someone else that can take you seriously and respects you as much as we do (I have a similar situation with a boss at work that believes my mental illnesses are fake and me being asexual isn’t true bc I’m a teenager and apparently don’t know how things work). I understand how hard things are to get over when someone invalidates you but I hope you know we all love and care for you and hope you get the assistance you deserve <3 If this is too much to reply to in just a day please feel free to take as much time as necessary. Right now both me and my partner are ok enough with the situation to wait a bit, just wanting some extra support if at all possible

I hope your days are abundant and you always feel the love you deserve <3

- 🌷

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

hihi lil bug’ 🌼

i'm so so so sorry to hear what the both of you went through :<

neither of you should have been put in that situation- and i'm sorry that everyone else sorta pilled it all on the both of you.

first, your boyfriend? are they alright? i couldn't imagine the ray of different emotions running through their mind at the time. i'm so proud of them for being brave- especially in such a scary scenario. i know their mum is refusing therapy, but i really think it'll be a good step. i know you want to help them- but sometimes opening up and loading all of your feelings onto someone already going through something of their own can be incredibly tough & difficult.

especially with what happened that night- i think it's best for them to speak to someone else. i do hope they feel a little better though & super duper big hugs for them <3.

and you, i hope your anxiety didn't take it out on your body too much- i know how bad anxiety & panic attacks can get <3. you also went through a lot that day & i'm super duper proud of you for doing your best to stay strong at work- i know how hard that it to so, espeically when you're so overwlemed by everything. the notepad technique was quick thinking! so i'm very proud at you for that! <3

i'm here for the pair of you & i hope you both feel a bit better soon <3. i'm always a message away & we all wish you both a speedy mental recovery <3.

big big big big hugs! <3

-🍰

#askpumpkin #🌷pumpkinasks #agere community #agere blog #sfw agere #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw little community #agere little #sfw little post #sfw little blog #age regression

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sharm-the-shark · 11 months

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NEW POST MADARFAKS

Ok so , as i said on the last post , im going to introduce you to my ( currently existing ) oc's , like their story and meaning , in a series of posts ( also specify that my oc's represent part of me and how I am , my feelings and mental conditions )

FIRST OFF AND THE ONE ON MY PFP

**drum roll**

STICH , but not the one from lilo & Stitch , mine is different , ok so , basically i have tourette síndrome :D ( basically i have involuntary spasm and a lot of weird stuff , I recommend you look for a video of people who have it to understand it better , and its kinda funny ) and Stich is how i imagine i'd look as a creature or something

I remember being in class and wanting to do a weird little face , i think It was for Halloween or some shet like that , and i have a LOT of tries and sketches , one day ill post em' ( maybe ) ( also they're super scuffed and cringe tho ) and i dont know how but the face ended Up in a TV , and now It has a body , i also remember joining the rain world discord server , i posted my custom region lizards there too , and someone liked them and i dont really remember how but we started talking and i asked them if they wanted a lizard , from that moment we began to send each other ideas for the other to draw it and such and I loved it , and one day we started drawing on aggie.io or magma ( a site where you can draw with friends ) idk i dont really remember , but i drew Stich and they came Up with the idea of antennae which i loved , and now is part of the design ,

And i dont know what more to say so I'll just put some drawings and explain them a bit ( some of the drawings are quite old so they're worse in my opinion , but I'll show then anyway )

This was the first digital drawing I did of Stitch ( + kid )

Here I think I got hyper fixation with flower crowns lol

Here I discovered that I could draw on black with white and decided to do something with TV snow

Here i was bored so i traced a photo of a hoodie and added some things cuz yeah

This was a drawing i made for Halloween 👍

This one is some Sort of redesign where i decided to give them headphones , which i like but not always draw them because of lazy

I made this in a moment i wasnt feeling great , and idk , its just some stuff i kept thinking and wanted to draw it

Oh yeah and , i think i came Up with the idea of a TV because of the weird glitches and like , whenever i have a tic or get stressed , It glitches or something

Oohh yeah , forgot to mention that i made human versións of my ocs , im not as Happy as i'd like with the drawing , but i like the concept so yeah

And finally the last drawing i made , It's fairly recent and Im still proud of how it turned out , and , i dont know , just the thought of me doing this its impressing

And that was It for the digital drawings , i still have a ton of traditional drawings of them , if you wanted to i could post them , but not now

And now , if you read all of that just wanted to tell you that i love you and that you're awesome , the Next post will be about nightmare >:)

Until Next time have a great day/night

Whatever <3

#art #oc species #oc artist #ocs #my oc #oc #tv head #introducing my ocs #pretty boy swag #art dump

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driderwife · 1 year

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Recovery update stuff! I woke up with anxiety and panic and was relatively ill for the first half of the day, but my partner and i went to the grocery store and took a long walk and with ppls donation help we were able to restock on food, Got some meats for stuff like hamburger helper and frozen stuff + soups and other basics that are easy to keep down. I also got some vitamin c because I’ve been reading its very good for withdrawal symptoms. (Not gonna overdo it tho)

Then I managed to clean up the kitchen and take a shower and I’m feeling MUCH better physically and mentally. I called my mom and touched bases, and now im just chilling. I plan to cut down to 2 kr/atom capsules today because I’ve been on 2.5 for four days and I feel ready. I’ve only had one total so far today, its 6 pm, and i feel very ok. Just wanted to let you guys know how Im doing, especially since everyone’s been so kind and helpful. 💜

#recovery journey

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ram-de · 5 months

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[read] oxnard is my son

Reading wolfsong rn and why is the writing style so eerie LIKE... you know what it reminds me... Like typical murder thriller storytelling in mangas I used to read. (like I know it will? Eventually involves murder) BUT MAN ITS SO EERIE

I guess it's the way the story is told like a diary. Like a dissection to the innocent thoughts of ox... he's so precious like I get why gordo wants him in the pack it's the paternal instinct. Ox's dad is probably the murderer right...

Not going to comment about the romance bcs it felt icky at the point I know I know no yucking peoples yums and its just like, what, 5?6?years age gap. but idk they're like at different levels of school... Like... Typically high schoolers wouldn't date a middle school kids right?? Then again idk when I was in middle school, ive heard of (typically girls) students that thought of dating highs schooler as something, like, normal... Idk how they would meet in the first place but?? Like alright ill stop writing. This is a post about wolfsong asshdhdjjj idk the point is im not too keen on age gaps...... Typically I wouldn't even mind 6-7 years if that happened when they're both adults at their 20s or something it's just this one they met at the very young age... ;-;

But I looked up at some spoilers and got reassured that the romance part happened in later parts, which I guess?? Makes it better??? I DON'T KNOW guess I'll see how it's handled OK, in tj klune I trust

ALRIGHT AGE DISCUSSION ASIDE I love love love the writing of the book so far. It has the thrills, the suspense but also... How soft it can be. I've read like, what, two books involving werewolfs so I get the gist of like wolf-traits but not so much on packs and groups aspect of it. Wolfsong delves heavy (as far as I read) and the affectionate (I would say platonic) touches, ruffling heads, patting backs LIKE... ox deserved that yes give my son the affection he deserve

Idk why ox is in two packs tho aren't wolves like territorial how come he has gordo's and the bennets... Hm...

UGHH OX LEARNED HOW TO TEXT😭 that's my son right there (we're barely years apart)

Joe uses =D emotes... I uses :D (and I know I've said enough about the age topic but the fact that joe has to ask for his mom if he can go to cinema with ox is a bit... Like this doesn't make it better, mentally THIS kid is a kid!!! what do I do im like pretty invested in this book but also... Is the age gap rly necessary mr klune... I'll pretend that joe is only two years younger for the rest of my readthrough for my own sake and see if that changes anything. Crisis averted! I'm a genius.)

Did my son ox really just had his 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 moment HSGSHJSSJJ

Did gordo just sneak into ox's room in the middle of the night... like is he,, is he sneaking through thee windows or the front door. And did they lock the house when they left I HAD SO MANY QUESTION

PackOursMineBrotherSonLove

STOPPPPP IF I ENDED UP LIKING WEREWOLF STORIES I'M BLAMING TJ KLUNE AHHHHH

Why is he leaving my man gordo in the forest why is this so eerie and why I am having a lot of fun reading this chapter... noooooo he's leaving gordo's pack😔

I LIKE PUPPIESS I've been watching a lot of cute doggies wagging their tails videos though I'm not too keen on alpha/beta/omega dynamics (why the hell i read a werewolf book then, uh, tj klune)

They really spammed (pack pack pack pack) in my son's head hsgzhsjsjhs so are they sharing like a mind?? Telepathy??? Is ox tethered to two packs now... Pls no abusive alpha😔 I trust in you nephew joe

Omega were dark things in the wolves society??? I thought they're the one that can get pregnant??

Tethers... Possessive... ANYTHING TO SAY GORDO....??? I'm sure he's gonna be paired up with Mark for second chances stories in another book bcs I know this is a series

This isn't fair to Jessie ngl

I'm visualizing the story as if it's told in a manga medium and I'm floored... It fits so well... The dramatics...! The sound effects in the bg. I'm being weird

"I'm always going to be here." Ox denied what his mom said, but he promised Joe the same thing himself. Loyalty runs wild within the pack...

JUSTICE FOR JESSIE she was brought to the story to be given dirt I hate this tropes in mm books sometimes AND WHATEVER HAPPEN TO GORDO'S GUYS, like Chris?? (fuck me I spoiled myself looking for posts about Jessie, WELL OK THEN)

Ok I wrote too early there he is, chris

thank the lords that my son ox is checking out peers his age at this point bcs pls let joe's be one-sided until for a longer while. on another note, Carter... Cutie... same age... what we could have... 😔 I could get away with forgetting but mr klune kept reminding me of the age problem ughgcgj (and I keep writing it to the point of casual reminders) I will try harder to ignore things I do not want to perceive.

I was so used to see a/b/o dynamics being soooo sexualized (is it a sexual term? Idk) in like memes when I casually scroll Twitter or YouTube so I can't take the whole 'My Alpha' thing seriously... Tho it's nice to see it portrayed like, possessiveness, taken two levels higher I guess, then again it's... This isn't really Abo per se?? It's like typical cute wolf pack dynamics. If so, I don't mind pack dynamics that much.

wait they took ox's mom (I forgot her name) to training and bonding too that's so cute AAAHHJ I love love love tu klune's side character and how it brings a lot of life to the story, how they're incorporated and like have character growth... (I STILL LOVE THE KIDS AT CERULEAN SEA though I forgot most of their names except Lucy I'm sorry dwarf daughter slime son uhh fairy kid and griffin (not?)kid and Lucy too)

my son ox forgets names easily too, he got it from me😭

Carter and ox being domestic. this is love... I LOVE THIS PAIR.... Who tf is nick? Wdym he never saw him again. DID... DID JOE KILL HIM...

Four years later, and Joe is actually 20💕 brainwashing myself has never been this easy

AHHHHH I remember ox's mother name... Remembered the spoiler I saw.... Connected the two....... Spoilers alert even tho it's in tags pls😭 ok I'll mourn ig....

Fuck me ox is catching feelings... I tried to ignore the age but they kept mentioning Joe's age and how short he is AND I'M.... OKAY... But then Joe turned 17 and suddenly ox is realizing the butterflies like I'm sorry is the age gap really necessary mr klune 😭 but I like everything else.... The characters, the world, the writing... I need to pause and sleep it off for now...

I CANT SLEEP I WANT TO READ AHHH ok ok it's ok, haven't even see how it's handled so it's ok. Alright denial is a river in Egypt whatever which means I'll get over it soon so...

I warmed up to joe(21) and ox(23) already😭 CUTE my son is so clumsy and delusional (mildly)

am I yucking someone else yum... if so I'm sorry but the later half of this chapter, seriously... The word underage is mentioned and this is still the direction they went with shzvjsjshshshs how can I live in denial if things kept getting shoved on my face wdym it's okay carter😭

flustered ox is so... Hes so cute UGHH not to mention joe(21) being smug about it like this man (guy (kid)) is confident as hell. He's gonna be the death of ox (hopefully not literally)

I folded so easily because why is this so cute... This is like peak friends(both adults and /over/age) to lovers pipeline

PLEASEEE joe(21) just did a proposal... a cutiepie and a half

this is cracking me up so bad I love this book (certain trope aside) they're just hiding outside listening😂

Okay, okay, so the reasoning being that thing about experiences and how some kids mature early and stuff balut werewolves minds and compatibility and stuff. Fair, fair, but, AHHH whatever, moving on...

Maybe I teared up a bit,,, oxnard my son you're indeed worth everything😭

Joseph you possessive pup... His speech? Poem? Is peak creep and obsession... As expected from alphas ig

#readingrams #Wolfsong #I am bitter about the age thing okay😭

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