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c-kiddo · 1 year

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tmn are all nd: a bunch o headcanons

(a sequel to these trans headcanons lol)

(also, warning before that this post is about neurodivergency and mental illness, so various mental illnesses will be mentioned. i dont want to single any out here, but you should probably skip this if thats something thats upsetting 2 you)

(also also, this is a infodump and not super in-depth or articulate, so sorry if i worded things wrong because i don’t mean to lol im just bad at reading things on screens so it might get jumbled. . )

beau: she’s got adhd and will hyperfocus and work All night on her theories and notes. perhaps she has audhd, has low-ish empathy and doesnt know how to regulate volume or realise her tone is usually annoyed sounding ksjnjkfs :''') also she has depression n that combined with adhd made her especially impulsive and self destructive, but she’s working on it, getting better :’) also had problems with substance abuse but the cobalt soul (dairon specifically) helped her get out of that. has cptsd because of her upbringing and abuse from her dad

fjord: he’s got adhd too, babey!!!! also he’s got tourettes and his most common tics are: clearing his throat, a small head tilt, raising his eyebrows and grinding his teeth. he's a bit (a lot) impulsive and him and beau cant be trusted alone together they will get distracted and into trouble

yasha: she's autistic!! mostly effected by th social aspect of it.. like, talking to people is hard and she doesn’t get jokes or sayings and its all just tiring. also has p bad social anxiety. also memory loss from trauma as per canon.. struggles with when she does start to remember things but luckily has a support system so she doesnt just run off on her own like before :') she also tends to disappear off like that due to sensory overload and just being overwhelmed in general bc of autism

caleb: i mean, he’s autistic n its basically canon. he experiences psychosis and has ptsd n depression/anxiety that has come from his trauma. he already had OCD before trauma and his obsessions revolve around hurting others A Lot, especially with fire after his trauma.. he also has dermatillomania due to ocd and anxiety. also has some sort of disordered eating in a self-punishment way.. .

veth: she has autistic-girlie-who-was-diagnosed-as-an-adult swag .. . and then the substance addiction that often comes with that i guess :''') .. also think she has body dysmorphia of course, especially during her being Nott, and some lingering things after too.. she just struggles to perceive her body for a while.. yeza rly helps ground her back to herself tho so thats nice :' ) . also she ptsd from her own murder + drowning , as per canon

molly: has npd and also he has a traumatic brain injury caused by all the things going on in his brain when his souls leave and he dies and things.. so struggles sometimes to find the right words and with memory and with mood regulation. also experiences psychosis and just, in general, strange things going on in his brain.. . also he likes sounds and textures all the time but will sacrifice th sounds for hanging out with yasha because its 110% worth it to sit with her instead ;w; they sign to eachother sometimes and have a made up sort of language

jester: she's got adhd and it means she loves having 10 conversations at once and spinning around and telling you all about her fave romance novel at lightning speed. she stims like all the time with little objects and ribbons and bells. also accidentaly yells a lot sknfsk and same as molly, likes noise n things all the time, gets kinda anxious or sad without it.. ;-; oh jester,, filling up space with noise so she doesnt have to be in the quiet..im not sure if i have any more thoughts about her rn :o

caduceus: he’s autistic (so overwhelmed by noises and too much all the time, also his empathy is fluctuating and he's not sure how to perceive it.. its confusing, he can be very empathetic and then, sometimes he's just in focus-mode and totally doesnt get at all what the vibes th other person is putting out is).. he’s got (inattentive) adhd. also depersonalisation derealisation disorder. and experiences psychosis since it was triggered by being alone in the grove so long + consuming hallucinogens a lot. he tends to just deal with it and not to tell tmn though, even though most of the time there's some little whispery noise or a fuzzy shape around, he's not scared mostly, only when he's triggered by something... also bad anxiety sometimes that he doesnt know how to deal with so he usually casts calm emotions on himself to help, or the herbs he chews (or smokes) for his joint pain help it. and also, his eating is Disorded but doesn’t quite realise (denial, ignoring it perhaps) the eating habits he has aren’t healthy,... he's just. kinda messed up still from all that time alone.. he had his own odd sometimes nonsensical reasons behind ways he treated his body and some of them stuck. also omg this section is a mile long im sorry, but also he has dyslexia and dyspraxia and dyscalculia . .. numbers and letters and walking without bumping into stuff is tricky. also thats why his fine motor skills for writing /drawing aren't so good like in canon :-3

ok,. thee end. good night now u_u zz

#ALSO one more that i didnt include bc it was too long anyway and not my headcanon but i think abt it sometimes: cad quiet type bpd.#inchresting. . .. .. i. think perhaps. yes #long post #<- as an apology #kiddo say #kiddo nd headcanons #i think thats my tag for it..#IM SORRY THIS IS SUCH A AUTISM POST. . . . .GOOD LORD #OK goodnight .

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v-arbellanaris · 10 months

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i have a question. or not really a question and more like a request for advice.

basically: my mahariel is currently canonically involved with alistair in dao until the landsmeet where he dumps her because he's now king and was unhardened. this is all planned and on purpose because it was the least tragic outcome for my worldstate. mahariel later gets in another relationship that presumably works out well unless da4 does something to either hof or the other person. but that's not the point.

the point is, i made her romance alistair when i liked him. and now i... kinda don't. i'm not sure what happened but he's starting to annoy me. you could make up some "you just grew up" stuff probably but i was 17 when first playing and now i'm 20 so not much growing up could happen.

and now i don't know what to do. do i just never play dao again (actually plausible because i fried my brain on top of having adhd and now i cannot replay games without just skipping dialogue because it's not captivating anymore) to avoid cringing at his romance? do i change her entire romance and the worldstate (it used to be carefully planned to not kill either alistair or hawke because i didn't want that kind of unhappy ending for mahariel and because my hawke is andersmancer and anders is literally the reason i started the game so i'm NOT breaking my blorbo's heart like that) but i feel like that would undermine the 3 years of building canon? do i just accept that i have to get through alistair's romance if i ever replay dao on my babygirl?

i literally have no idea what to do and if i should even do anything. like it's pixels and not that deep. help

also no hate to alistair enjoyers i get the appeal but seems like it ended up not being my cup of tea.

sorry for the wall of text and it's probably very incoherent i have no brain and it's 1 am and i'm not even currently focused on dragon age but i needed to ask someone for an opinion apparently

AHHHHH i love it when aliwarden drama its soooo good. for obvious reasons, like kal's worldstate, i love it when he dumps you for various reasons.

i think this makes sense though! each individual is different, and the past three years have been enough to age anyone twenty years, so it's understandable if you look back at him with a different perspective. that being said, i also understand being really reluctant to undo 3 years worth of work on character and dynamic building.

from my perspective, you have several options:

ONE, you replay dao with your babygirl and see where that takes you. sometimes, that's a return to the whiteboard or to have the opportunity to explore the game can open up loads of new areas for consideration you might not have been able to think of out of game because in-game you just sometimes have to make a snap decision. i DID also do this w my kal pt which made me change canon from alistair getting exiled to king alistair married to anora which i'm really happy with because 1. kal having to live with the consequences of her actions in a very real way 2. the inherent messiness of that whole situation after is something i enjoy intensely. and you might find another romance more interesting to pursue for mahariel you might not have thought of!

TWO, incorporate this perspective growth into your character! i think one of the most tragic aspects of the aliwarden romance - if you're doing a Specific kind of pt, like yours, and like my alikal runs as well - is that in a lot of ways, for a lot of characters, the tragic inevitability of their falling apart can always be there from the start. wynne's warnings become a prophecy rather than just her brownnosing. for kal, she was always going to be on the opposite character arc that alistair was going to be on because of how their stories start and end - kal has already gotten her revenge at the start of the story, whereas alistair is heading towards the resolution of a revenge story at the end. so maybe it's worth it to try and think about the headspace your mahariel starts in, and how she develops through the story, and how the story shapes her - and how that differs or doesn't differ from alistair. how does her growth through the story impact alistair's?

in defense of alistair's... childishness? i suppose? he acts young because he is very young! he's nineteen! a lot his humour is a mask for very deep trauma and insecurities. and his decisions can be very frustrating for a HOF but i think considering that he's grieving the loss of a lot people he cared about - ofc he talks about duncan specifically but he does also talk about a lot of the other fereldan wardens, everyone who had made the wardens a family for him over the last six months for a guy who has never had a family before and deeply, intensely, wants one is really insane. and i think it really puts a lot of his actions into perspective and contextualise that. and maybe going through the game and re-experiencing Actual Alistair and not Fandom Perspectives On Alistair might help you reach a decision about where you want to go with him narratively.

i hope that was of help to you!

#asks

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daevite · 10 months

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For the autism asks: multiples of 7

sorry for late response aaaa

7. Do you find it hard to make friends?

yeah tbh. even w/ the friends i have made going back to school they are not like...people i spend a significant amount of time with or have frequent conversations with + they usually came to me in some sense rather than me coming to them + they're usually also autistic and/or have adhd so we kinda vibe (though there are some autistic people i've met who i really clash wish) + a lot of them i don't feel especially emotionally connected to i'm still fumbling around in the dark when it comes to genuine connections with others

14. Are you currently in school?

yeah - i'm attending a uni to get a BFA in digital arts! and i'm very happy i made that decision because it has drastically changed my life for the better (the social aspect/experiences more than the education part. maybe that seems to contradict the above on its face but i have much more of something approaching a social life now than i've ever had before even if i still feel like i struggle with socializing.)

21. How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic?

i'll sometimes drop jokes or hints about it if it's at least semi-relevant (e.g. a coworker the other day jokingly called me 'ocd' since i seemed to have a strict system of organization to how i do things at work but i told him i was autistic - he wasn't exactly joking because he apparently though i said i had ocd at one point??) but that probably goes over the head of people who aren't like autistic themselves or sensible about the matter since allistic people have basically turned things amounting to "i'm autistic" into a meme phrase. if i meet someone and they share that they're autistic or that they think they're autistic i'm usually upfront about it at that point.

28. How long do your special interests usually last for?

the way i personally conceptualize "special interests" is something that'll probably stick around for the foreseeable future, whereas something like a "hyperfixation" is a brief obsession that might sometimes re-occur in "episodes" if it's "triggered" again (not the bets terminology but the best i can come up with.) the latter usually happens with media properties and doesn't really revolve around me collecting and sufficiently absorbing information. i would say that like abnormal psychology (specifically, like, mental disorders - especially those related to trauma or specifically complex/chronic trauma) have been one of those persistent interests that i store a lot of information and can recall pretty easily + one i still engage in to this day. the special interest stuff doesn't occur "episodically." i can rattle off facts about a lot of psych stuff all day but i seldom ever want to have an extended conversation about like dragon age or mass effect or fe3h because those are more "hyperfixation"-like where the interest can be "re-activated" but it's not as accessible to me as a special interest.

35. Have you ever used a weighted blanket?

nooo but i would love to have one...pressure stimmy good.

42. Tell us something about your special interest.

this sent me digging to find the paper again but i can't forget this one bit that i thought was pretty interesting: expressions of rage or other strong affect associated with what we understand as borderline personality disorder are primarily externally-directed (e.g. angry episodes due to "splitting" in the bpd sense where one might lash out against an attachment figure/"favorite person") while expressions of rage or other strong affect associated with what we understand as complex dissociative disorders are primarily internally-directed (e.g. internal reenactments of trauma by persecutory parts of the self, and even in the case of external reenactments, said external reenactments are usually self-directed.) i find this whole paper personally important because it helps me understand myself and my relationship to borderline personality disorder as a diagnosis better (as in it explains why bpd is not a helpful framework with which to understand many of my personal mental experiences irt my identity issues and dissociation.)

48. What is your favorite special interest related item you own? Show it to us if you want.

incidentally it might be "coping with trauma related dissociation" or "the coping book." most of the psych-related books i own are in the vein of self-help (like the complex ptsd workbook, dbt workbook, etc.) rather than based around research, though i read like eBook downloads of some more research-oriented ones like "the haunted self" for example.

#asks #sadhoc

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nightseeye · 3 years

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Bro its now tag rant hours

Warning for cancer ment. and overall anxiety/panic

#vent #vent post #im scared as shit rn! terrified!! off the shits x-treme fear!!!!!#yesterday i learned my nana has breast cancer!!!!#and the more i think abg it the more it literally hurts!!!!#it got caught early but like! shit! fuck! damn what if it goes wrong!!!#i really cant stand the thought of my nana dying i can Not!!!!!#and my mom didnt talk abt this but i know medical bills are fuckin Expensive! screaming!!!!!#im also worried that if my nana dies... im gonna forget her #my great uncle died a few years ago and i? cant muster up solid feelings about it #i dont really remember him #i dont want that to happen with my nana y'know?#and we cant even VISIT her bc of this whole covid shit. we dont wanna get her and my papa sick!!!#i. :(#im big sad dot png but i also feel like im suppressing the emotions n i Know thats not healthy #its probably adhd helping out w that aspect :/#i also just. dont wanna cry over an empty grave! i wanna see the glass half full!! but im terrified!!!!#and despite all this ive still gotta try n pull my english grade outta the dirt. h. school is already hard enough online as is #this isnt gonna help #man im just feeling all kinds of fucked up about this #:(#nighty chatter

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shoezuki · 3 years

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cracks knuckles. i promised to elaborate and i will.

the one common perspective that everyone seems to be able to agree on is that techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo are just genuinely funnier than the dteam, and honestly yes it's because if the popularity. if you go back and watch the dteams older (im talking before 2-3mil subs) videos they are funnier than their current ones and i think it's because they're trying to shift their humor to a broader audience?

the minecraft community has always been mainly queer/poc/ndv kids because it was exiled away from "acceptable society" for so long that only the people who had already been "exiled" continued to enjoy it. I, as an example, stopped playing when it became a cringy thing because I was so worried about being seen as weird. now that ive discovered, come to terms with, and enjoy my queerness, i realize that if i had known i was queer back when mc was exiled i wouldve continued to play because i alrwady would have known what it was like to be part of that seperate society. (Please keep reading i promise I have a point)

but then minecraft came back. minecraft became mainstream again, and it came back HARD. watching it go from something that you would be bullied immensely for to something that you would be bullied for not doing was an extreme experience. in all honesty im still angry about it, but that's another topic. when minecraft became mainstream it brought with it all of the people that hadn't been part of the exiled societies yk? including... the dream team.

dream blew up. we all know how much he blew up. i personally dont believe he cheated on the speedrun but to each their own (although after reading your stuff and becoming more critical of them im realizing i might need to reexamine that), and the speedrun controversy brought even more people to his base (cough drama loving straight white girls cough).

when they were brought into the fanbase that's when it started to go downhill. they shifted their humor to fit that, or maybe their humor was always that and they just got more confident in showing it after they had gotten a fan base to back them up. which is also why techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo (who ill refer to just as techno&co now because he's the main one but also that's long as hell lmao) are funnier than them!

for one, their fanbases are smaller. now 5 mil is by no means a small number, but compared to dream's 16 mil? yknow. especially with techno's wack upload schedule he's never had to worry about having a stan fan base because the only people who stay are people who genuinely enjoy his content the way it is.

two, techno&co are mostly ndv. techno has adhd, tubbo has dyslexia, wilbur had and maybe still has depression, ranboo has anxiety, tommy hasnt confirmed or denied his adhd but im betting he at least has borderline. i am in no ways saying that being part of one minority (in this case ndv) gives you free range over another (queer), but all minorities have this understanding about what it is to be part of an exiled community (if that makes sense).

philza and schlatt, not so sure if they're ndv, but they're also older and generally more mature and esp in philza's case, theyve had their chance to make their bad jokes and pull stupid shit and theyve grown out of it (if they ever had that phase at all). techno&co have that understanding and even if they dont know where the boundaries are they know that queer humor (and all humor! other than techno, sbi doesnt really make gay jokes) going to have boundaries, and they respect that.

three, techno is the funniest bitch because he has adhd. i dont take criticism on this point because im right.

i probably missed a lot, probably got some stuff wrong, but all in all i think i hit my mark. i can come off anon to chat anytime if youd vibe w that. no pressure to respond to this! have a good day, etc etc, it was fun getting to tear into the dteam in a safe space. respect for them and their fanbases, their humor is a little off but i still gotta respect how well theyve done. btw i woke up and rolled over and started typing I haven't proofed this at all so yeah. :) - andy

And your brain is fucking massive yo like u must got chronic back pain too from holdin up all these Thoughts in ur head

I really like. Minecraft fans is So varied cuz like u said it was so very 'cringe' before. I got into mc again n playin it w my siblings years before it Popped Off again entirely cuz i stopped Giving a Shit that it was 'weird' or any a that. N sbi have been goin strong through it So Long both when it was hotshit and when it was "cringe"

N definitely like minecraft ive always noticed has a Massive ndv community. I dont know entirely what it is like definitely part of the 'cringe' factor like u said and also cubes make our brains go brrrr? The aspect of self expression in it? I dont know but we Been Here

I do think dteam's content and shit like. It obviously moved in sync with perceptions of mc to garner a Big General audience. Dream blowing up entirely had to do w the Trends and how mc got popular. Therefore hes audience is Huge and Varied

In contrast w techno n like. He has blown up quite a bit too. But i feel its fair to say he Hasnt altered his content significantly. Or at least like. How its presented, what he does, etc. For fucks sake he doesnt have a stream schedule. And although his content is Still garnering a Large and really varied audience it feels more like. Isolated and homogeneous almost

Like. I can go into the technocord right now and say 'dont forget to take your meds' and at least 20 or so ppl would be all like Oh Fuck Whoops. Theres SO many of us adhd ppl in there. I always goof bout techno jus sayin pspspsps and the neurodivergents crawling up from the floorboards but honest to god. His content and jokes and i suppose Personality jus appeals to us So Much. Same goes for sbi pretty heavily honestly altho i feel its most evident in techno's most Dedicated fans

Also. Lbr. The people who stay through technos schedules and content Droughts are the ones who be hyperfixating Abskfvdkdsjsjsl

BUT going into sbi as a Group like. They are friends. And together they are fucking hilarious. N i feel it strongly like. The fact theyre all such Varied people of different ages and such helps w that shit. It Works So Well.

Long story short being neurodivergent makes you funny as hell letsgo

#SBDKBDK YES #you jus straightup hit all the marks fuck ya #dteam feels like i could go grab 3 whiteboys and itd be the dteam #sbi and co is more like. i hear someone yelling bout girls at 12am out my window. thats wilbur.#tommy is that kid who kept breaking into my back office at work because he wanted to steal my boxcutter #basically theyre one of a kind #Oh also i didnt say it in the post cuz i aint sure #i vaguely recall wilbur talkin bout Possibly being autistic n that he woulda been assessed as a kid but Didnt #idk where that was from so take it w a grain of salt #but as an autistic bitch myself. i feel the vibes #anon #andy #hard boiled takes

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kanesthirstblog · 3 years

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NSFW ALPHABET: ABE HARUAKI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Requires lots of aftercare but also wants to take care of you. Very clingly, like, will latch onto you and cuddle you for the rest of the night clingy. You should probably give him some reassurance or comfort, he seems like the type to stress about whether or not he was any good to you once the fun is over.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hmmm... Totally the sappy kinda guy who tells you he loves all of your body and thinks it's beautiful and 100% means every praise he sings you about it. He loves everything about you from your soft hair to the tips of your toes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

God. Just imagining him sprawled out on any surface with an exhausted yet dopey look in his eyes, covered in his own cum (and/or yours of course!) after a few rounds of sex really makes me feel satisfied. Really can't explain this one

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Secretly a bit of a masochist but also scared of being hurt so he never asks even if he really wants to.

Also secretly owns a couple erotic novels he used as "research" when you first brought up wanting a sexual relationship. Since you are his first, he would want to see how he's supposed to act in that scenenrio so he could please you properly. (But damn was he shocked when you wanted to be the dominant one. That wasn't in his books.) Haruaki learns the importance of communication that day.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Dudes a canon virgin y'all. This also excites me.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Secretly loves it when he's on his back so he can see your face as you ride him or peg him. He just thinks you're the prettiest person he's evermet and loves watching you even as you tease or toy with him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's a sappy guy. Would probably look at you like a puppy who sees someone they really love. Besides that he's have that dopey look like he's never been happier than he is in that moment, smiling up at you.

Once you've had sex a couple times he might start opening up more, cracking jokes and asking shy requests from you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yup. Makes sure he's nice and clean especially

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He really tries hard to be romantic but he has 0 experience in this area and often fumbles his way through it by trying to be sweet and make you feel good. Very bad at saying romantic things and would probably give up after a bit before he dies from embarassment.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Tbh I actually think he'd barely masturbate if he did at all. This is partly because I actually have an asexual headcanon for him and partly cause in canon he seems really put off by sexual things if not being outright afraid of them.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Contrary to some of the fandom headcanons, I don't really imagine the sailor uniform thing as a kink. It just seems like a typical fixation or something that gets played up for laughs to a strange degree. But maybe thats my ADHD dumbass brain projecting my ADHD onto a fave. (Off topic but him knowing everything about sailor uniforms, from design to creation, being able to make them himself, getting happy any time he sees one, ect. Are headcanons I have because his weird fixation with them reminds me of my fixation on rocks, mushrooms, and jewelry.)

HOWEVER

Praise kink. Body worship. He'd love to be pet gently while you tell him how pretty he is. How you love his soft hair or his long legs or slender form as you lightly trail you fingertips down his body or card fingers through his hair. And he would do the same for you too.

Might at least try pegging, and then realizes he actually likes it when you hold him down and pound his ass.

Would be too embarrassed and a bit scared to bring this up but actually likes the idea being treated roughly. If you could pull at his hair and bite him even a little bit he'd practically melt in your hands.

Might try bondage if it's light. Soft hand cuffs or silk ropes are the way to go.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

At home. Anywhere is fine as long as its at home

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The fastest way is probably being physical with him or just stripping for him. He gets embarassed and tries to hide but you know he's aroused, you can feel it when you sit on his lap.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He'd probably not be okay with having more than one partner. You might frighten him if he starts feeling like you guys are ganging up on him.

Public/semi-public sex is a no go. Especially since he is a teacher, he wouldn't risk his job on the off chance you both get caught.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think he actually might no be very into oral at first. But will give or recieve though you may have to hear some complaint about it being kind of unsanitary or something. He's also kinda bad a giving oral but what did you expect? He's a virgin.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Personally prefers the slow and sensual kinda sex but you set the pace regardless so ultimately it's up to you. He won't be turned into a stuttering mess right away if you guys take it slow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Alright with it as long as it stays private. You'll be the only one asking for these but try to get him in the morning before he leaves for work so you can corner him against a counter. Its best when his back is turned so you can grab his hair and lick along his throat, nipping here and there. He'd shiver in your arms as you trail a hand down to undo his pants

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As long as it isn't a risk to him (would probably be too scared to try knifeplay) or job (no public/semi-public sex) you could probably talk him into it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Hmmm... Depends I guess. I feel like he might only be active for a round or maybe 2 before he starts slowing down. You could still pound the guy into the mattress but he'll have those half lidded doe eyes cloudy with exhaustion. He'd wrap his arms around you loosely as if you'll help ground him to the waking world and try to hold you closer to him.

At that point you should definitely ask a few times before you start another round to make sure he's okay and reassure him that it's alright to stop now. Strikes me as someone who could easily fall into a place where he'd hide his desire to stop just so you can use him for your own fun since it makes you happy. That could be kinda bad for his mental health.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You'd be the one with all the toys tbh. But you can sure as hell use them on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's not much of a tease but if he's feeling playful, he might play up the innocent look of his. He really is a pretty innocent guy actually, but he knows you love that sweet look he's got to him and he will use it on you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

So damn loud. This guy would moan and beg loudly, scream your name and plead for mercy, for relief as you all but eat him alive. Might even cry and whine and beg. Oh, but he tries to be quiet so he doesn't risk disturbing anyone. He'd purse his lips and turn away from you while you play with his body in an attempt to stay quiet but he always gives in quickly. It's easy to turn this guy into a whimpering, begging mess no matter how many times you do this.

You'll know when he's tired because he will be unable to make much noise besides low pants and gasps. Probably best to wrap things up at that point before ya fuck him unconcious.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I have a few actually.

-Has a hard time saying no to you. He's a bit cowardly and overthinks and he would be afraid to lose a first relationship. This is potentially hazardous to his mental health because he might say "yes" to something he doesn't want for fear of losing you. Consent is important though so even if it's difficult at first, keep checking to make sure he's alright.

-I actually headcanon him as a sex indifferent asexual. He can 100% live with sex or without it. Doesn't matter to him, though he's terrified of trying it for the first time.

-The first time you tried to get him in bed, you pinned him to a wall and he was terrified because he thought you were trying to shake him down or harass him. (Well, the latter part was true but not the way he expected.) And then you kissed him and he straight up broke, wrapped himself in blankets and hid under the futon for the rest of the day. Disappointing? Sure, but damn was it cute.

-I'm actually caught up on how he would take to dirty talk tbh since a lot of it I've seen or heard involves some form or another of calling your partner a slut or whatever. Seems to be popular. On one hand if he's secretly a masochist, he might be into it. But on the other, he also seems like he might take anything you say to him to heart and beat himself up over it and would ultimately not like it. Also probably would not be comfortable if he did the dirty talking and assuming he manages to make it through the night without apologizing to you for everything he says, then you'll hear it when you finish.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Mandragora patterned briefs. You cannot change my mind on this one.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not very, so he's pretty chill about it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how much you exhausted him but it usually doesn't take that long.

Bonus:

Some more cute Haruaki.

#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita #a terrified teacher at ghoul school #abe haruaki #haruaki abe #nsfwheadcanons

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aegialia · 3 years

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self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.

for good:

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

#gloomth and circumstance #this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog #w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else

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tiredrobin-scooted · 5 years

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arthur headcanons (w some general trio ones) evn tho nobody asked. it’s long. talk to me about them if u want.

i just feel like rambling with a mild aim, so. claps hands together. lesgo

he has ocd

he hoards items as a result, and he doesn’t like people touching his things. throwing stuff away is hard. he has methods of managing it, tactics that help when he knows he needs to reduce clutter, but it’s still difficult.

one of his personal rituals involves the pins on his jacket. he checks them frequently throughout the day to make sure they haven’t fallen off. when he washes his jacket, he has to put the pins in the exact same spot (the holes there are worn open and visible, which makes it much easier). he has a specific pattern when he checks them too, & he jokes that its like those games where u have to hit the buttons in the same pattern that they light up in

violent intrusive thoughts central, babey! often coupled w graphic imagery. hes having a great time! love it

also like. anxiety and depression

sighs. and insomnia. he cant sleep! especially in unfamiliar environments. and he has to turn things “away” or else he feels watched (which i think is from his ocd)

SIGHS. and adhd, while we’re at it. infodumping hours are the best bc vivi and lewis are very good listeners even when they have no idea what hes talking about. (and vivi, although not inclined towards mechanics and robotics, is good at asking questions that help push the conversation forward. lewis has a tougher time but he makes up for it in attentiveness)

he doesnt medicate because finding meds that dont exacerbate other aspects is difficult. he had a therapist for a good while, though, after uncle lance took him in, so he has a lot of different methods of helping himself

and he has rly supportive, understanding friends who also have their own mental and physical issues so it’s like. they get it. Everyone Gets It.

hes a gamer......

he likes puzzle games a lot, but rpgs are usually what he plays

not that he plays them OFTEN because turns out he has 20 other projects to work on (haha what do i mean im projecting. dont talk to me.)

also trans??? hes dfab binary trans guy

he didn’t make, like, robo-prosthesis himself, those existed before his amputation, but when he was fitted with his own he either built the whole thing from scratch or he totally revamped the one he got

he has a shoulder port and actually, he’s decided, it SUCKS,

if he isn’t careful about the weather, the metal will freeze or heat up and i mean. you can imagine the consequences

rapid changes in weather and pressure causes pain

phantom limb pain in general is just here. and he

is tired

also hes bi, and poly, and

laughs

but yeah. i hc hes been on t for.... a while? but i have a side hc where he hasnt been on t purely because i get really shitty cramps and im projecting those onto him. u cant stop me.

and now..... some (more) vivi, and also some lewis stuff, and actually just a buncha general stuff

lewis joins arthur in the depression club. they high five about it

vivi is also trans! shes hella nonbinary. still uses she/her, but like. .. .

shes nb. mayyyybe genderfluid btwn Woman and a smattering of nb identities. i havent made up my mind yet

all of them actually have adhd, ive decided just now. all three of them. its party town, its infodump hours, no one can stop them and no one can stop me,

lewis and arthur bond over puzzle games. they all play mystery games when the desire hits

vivi almost ALWAYS gets first in mario kart. shes just too good

arthur kicks butt at super smash bros tho and can usually win

lewis’s strong suit isnt really fighting-based games. he likes exploration and socializing. theres probably an mmorpg they all play together

vivi is the fighter, arthurs the spellcaster, and lewis is the combination alchemist/healer

theyve probably played dungeons and dragons. i can see them sitting in the back of the van on late nights out, trying to play but devolving into conversations about enemy logistics or game mechanics or like. something entirely unrelated

lewis deserves his own section to discuss this in greater detail but he came from a wealthy/royal background. i have evidence to back this up. i have no idea if other people have thought of this

hes VERY bi

lewis is the mom friend, except he runs himself into the ground caring about other people so much so that vivi and arthur actively have to work to get him to relax and take time for himself. its a lot of work! he just wants to make sure everyone else is taken care of, “which is lovely, lewis, really,” vivi assures. “but you really need to look out for yourself too, y’know,” arthur pipes up.

like you either gang up on him or it just isnt going to work. hes full of love and a desperate need to prove himself

wheezes. he and arthur bond over abandonment issues

ok if i dont stop i will actually never stop, so. folds hands. thanks for listening.

#msa #robin ruminates #robin rambles #look at this. its so much #forgivve me #snorts

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rhenal · 6 years

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Hello again

Wow, it’s been a year now since i last posted anything here. I’m still alive, if anyone is still here at all to care. Um. Last post I did was about the status of my mental health, so I guess a follow-up would be prudent, no?

So now it’s official. I have both Aspergers and ADHD. I thought it was just ADD, but no. The hyperactivity aspect is something I very much have. It’s just that it doesn’t manifest physically - it simply manifests mentally in that my mind is always everywhere at once - that my train of thought manifests more like a puppy on its first snow day than like an actual train.

I’ve been on antidepressants for 13 months now, but I’ve only really felt any real effect from them for the last month and a half as I finally got to change med type. The first type barely helped and gave me nightmares two nights out of three, but those things were small and irrelevant enough for me to it really bring it up until now. Because for all that time, I have been searching for and adjusting to ADHD meds as well, and you only want to sort through one set of side-effects at a time. Turns out I’m really sensitive to side effects, so finding the right type and dosage took a long time, and I’m not certain that the one I’m on now is the best choice still.

I’m still on full-time sick leave for burnout, since February 14th last year. Currently it will last until the end of August, then we’ll reevaluate from there. Hopefully I can start studying again by that point, if only at 50%.

Turns out, it takes a really long time to recover from a bout of burnout that has had five entire years of buildup.

So what am I doing now? Mostly just being useless. Restless but without the energy to do anything about it. I barely eat these days, and my sleep cycle is just completely nonexistent. See, in large part due to aforementioned double-whammy of Aspergers and ADHD, my capacity for self discipline is basically nil. With me being on sick leave, I have nothing that forces me to get up and do stuff. There is no reason other than my own health to get up in the morning.

Add to that the fact that both my current antidepressants and my ADHD meds lower my appetite. I do not get hungry anymore. I just get tremors in the late afternoon when I’ve forgotten to eat all day. I can go entire days where I am never ever hungry, and when I finally manage to make something to eat and force myself to just eat it dammit, I can barely get half the meal down.

My doctor has actually advised me to eat small snacks through the entire day to make up for it. You know, the thing that you’re usually heavily discouraged from doing? :’)

In conclusion, my daily life is kinda shit. I’m doing what I can to get better at it all, even going to group therapy every week, but it feels like a Sisyphean effort.

I’m too burnt out to study or work, but without study or work, I can’t really recover properly. It’s one real bastard of a catch 22.

I’d move back home, but that’s not really an option. Not now that the family’s got a much smaller apartment. I’d have to live on the couch, in a living room with no possible way of real privacy. And I’m an introvert. I am really fortunate to have a family as loving and supportive as I do, and I love them dearly - but I NEED my space. When I went there over the winter holidays, just those two and a half weeks I was there was enough to suck me completely dry of energy.

If anyone has any advice, I’d love to hear them. Because I need them desperately.

So well. That’s where I am now.

[garbling thought-vomit about social issues and the failings of tumblr as a community below. Probably best ignored.]

So, why’d I disappear from Tumblr? Should be obvious. The state of my mental health is bad enough without having to deal with the constant anxiety of dealing with this social network. The nonexistence of nuance and the total intolerance of anything even remotely problematic. And the idea that if you like anything that has any problematic aspects in it at all, that means YOU are problematic and are to be ashamed.

It’s actually a really hostile environment for creatives.

The pressure to be perfect and totally 100% inclusive at all times with not a nanometer’s space for human error or honest mistakes, the attitude that ‘if you’re not perfect 100% of the time always you are EVIL AND BAD AND SHALL BE SHUNNED FOREVERMORE’.

The attitude a lot of Tumblr seem to have that the only things you are ever allowed to write or otherwise portray are essentially self-portraits because if you haven’t personally experienced it you should never ever write it ever. Kinda makes it impossible to even try to do properly inclusive work for fear of getting even a single minute detail wrong. It’s actually really really fucking hostile and I hate hate hate it. Like, I keep seeing creators of all kinds - writers, artists, cartoonists, animators and game devs alike try their very hardest to make something as inclusive and culturally diverse as they can, only to be rewarded with heaps upon heaps of abuse from Tumblr users just because they weren’t 100% perfect in every single aspect, or that their efforts were seen as ‘virtue signaling’ and are only doing it to make themselves look good and that is false and sin and to be PUNISHED.

It’s like the reward for trying your best to make something that everyone can enjoy without feeling left out is only hate and vitriol.

(All the while creators who do not care about inclusivity at all get perhaps but a mere fraction of this abuse, I might add. It’s pretty fucking insane when you think about it.)

It’s suffocating.

And it’s total fucking bullshit.

People make mistakes.

People change.

And people can absolutely grow from those mistakes and be better.

But Tumblr as a community keeps fostering this attitude that if you have ever said or done anything even remotely wrong on any level, regardless of the context or how long ago it was or how much better you have grown to be since then, once an uninformed or unthinking statement - accidental or not - always a racist. Or homophobe. Or transphobe. Or ableist. Or any kind of -ist or -phobe imaginable.

I’ve been very fortunate to not really have had to endure any witch-hunt personally, but I saw them happen all the time. And it just. Well. I got really fucking tired of it, and it further worsened my mental health by quite a lot. I just cared too much that I couldn’t stop ranting about it in my head. Sometimes for days.

So I left.

Why am I back? Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I still have a lot of thoughts about things and I’ve been really isolated this last year, so I just need a place where I can put them.

I intend to go on a bit of a purge of the blogs I follow and start with a zero-tolerance policy for witch-hunting bullcrap and other drama.

See, I have a pretty simple, straightforward moral code. It’s often difficult to follow, due to the human brain working as it does with it’s shitty, garbage, garbage ‘us vs them’ mentality, but it is something I intend do always strive for.

No one should ever be judged for that which they can not control

Ever. That includes the entire spectrum of skintones, every single possible gender identity, sexuality, romantical affiliation, neuropsychiatric status - normal or otherwise, physical condition, place of birth, state of family or culture they grew up in. Or anything else I can think of.

No one picks the toolbox they’re born with. All that should ever matter to anyone is what they build with it.

Fuck jokes about skin colour - ANY skin colour - it’s tacky and only serves to further strengthen the idea that they somehow make people fundamentally different, and that idea can get set on fire and shot into the sea.

Yes, there are absolutely issues with the culture surrounding differences in levels of melatonin. White people like myself carry a lot of privilege in the west, and darker skinned people of all kinds absolutely do face a lot of unjust treatment in the world. No matter what country in the world you are in, that place’s “default” - how I detest that unfortunate consequence of the human brain functioning as it does - will always carry a strong privilege compared to those who do not fit that default. But it’s all cultural. There’s nothing inherent in looking any certain way that dictates a person’t being. It’s all the norms and values of the culture they were raised in - and cultures change. It’s slow. It’s difficult. But it is absolutely a worthwhile struggle, is it not?

And, maybe a reasonable path to changing a culture to be more inclusive is to maybe not constantly call attention to such differences? Because that only strengthens the idea that the trait pointed out is ‘other’ - not part of the ‘normal’.

And we want to widen the definition of normal to include all of us. Right? That’s pretty much this entire community’s mission statement, isn’t it?

I’m thinking that simply acting like a trait is normal, that it’s not something that’s even worth calling attention to, does a lot to normalise that trait. To help it be included within the definition of normal.

Maybe I’m wrong. But I don’t think I am.

And then there’s the whole thing with white guilt/cultural shame or pride or any somesuch. I have thoughts. Probably pretty controversial thoughts. So I’m preparing myself for pitchforks.

Feeling shame or guilt over whatever hand you drew in the grand lottery of genetical happenstance is just really fucking stupid. That much should be thoroughly established by now. But the thing is, so is feeling pride, for the same reason. You did fuck all to affect what you got. The deeds of your ancestors have nothing whatsoever to do with you.

You don’t get to choose your toolbox. You can only choose what to do with it.

It feels kind of weird to condemn cultural pride as a concept like this, but I do. I really honestly do. Because it’s dumb. Incredibly hard to drop, absolutely - most of us are fed with it since birth, after all - but it’s still dumb. I mean, what on earth did anyone do to earn the culture they grew up in? Nothing. Because it’s entirely out of your hands.

Treasure your culture, absolutely! Revel in it. Learn all you want and can and strive to carry it forth to the next generation, and to teach anyone who wishes to listen. Absolutely do! Take pride in your accomplishments. Take pride in what you do to carry your culture forth into the future. Take pride in what you help others accomplish. Take pride in what you do to raise public awareness of the reality of your culture. Or your sexuality. Or gender identity. Or any other aspect of your being that is being woefully misrepresented somewhere. But don’t take pride in simply being what you are.

Because that’s just part of the completely random toolbox you got at birth - a toolbox you could not have possibly chosen any part of.

Taking pride OR feeling shame over things that you had no hand in is something you have no right or reason to do.

Never judge anyone - not even yourself - by what they have. Judge only by what they DO with what they have.

These thoughts have all been spawned by my time on tumblr. It’s a community that wants to be progressive and inclusive, but is much too often anything but. It’s all complaining, all vitriol, all salt, all echo chambers fostering this kind of thinking. Very little, if any, actual attempts at working towards real improvement.

I remember seeing a comic that circulated some time ago. About equality vs equity. There were these three kids standing by a fence, trying to watch a game of some sport or another taking place at the other side. They were all different height.

In the equality picture, all three kids got a box to stand on, of equal size.

In the equity picture, they got a different amount of boxes, making it so all of them could see over the fence.

But there was a third picture. One rarely included.

This picture adressed the fence itself. It swapped the wooden fence to a wire fence. One that all three kinds could see the game through, without any need of boxes.

That’s the kind of world I’d much rather live in. One where the barrier itself is adressed. Where there is no need for boxes to stand on.

Yet all anyone can really, truly do, is do as Michael Jackson said, and start with the man in the mirror.

We can complain. We can decry. We can wallow. But it’s all for naught if we don’t then step up and act on it.

I'm sick and tired of the ceaseless complaining without action and the oppressive feeling of helplessness fostered here. I want to actually DO something to help the world be better. And if I’m not in a position where I can help personally, I can at least reach out to those in a position to do so.

This is why I donate to charity whenever I can afford it, despite my miniscule budget of a university student on sick leave with a lot of medical fees.

This is why I endeavor to always smile to strangers, be they the retail worker at the checkout, a simple passerby or the cold beggar on the street.

This is why I am always eager to share what I know with people who may need it, be it pointers about mental health or simply how to patch up a torn pair of pants.

All minuscule, inconsequential acts in the grand scheme of things. But it’s something. It’s my small straw, pulled to the anthill. Makes me feel just a little tiny bit less helpless about all the terrible things in the world.

Because even if it’s something small, it’s better than doing nothing. Far better than simply complaining and wallowing about a problem without ever following it up with action.

I don’t even know what I’m on about anymore. I should probably stop writing. Get something to eat. Go to sleep. Bye for now, then.

#status update #mental health stuff #really long rant #disjointed flow of thoughts garbled onto a page #had a lot of stuff to get off my chest I suppose #probably ignore this

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fe14fiction-blog · 7 years

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hi, mod lilith! :D do you think you could make a post listing the matchup requests you've gotten and will do? just so we know if you've received ours! it can be a hassle though, so please don't feel pressured to >

hi! could i have a matchup? im a gay boy and id like an awakening match please c: im very kind and i like being and caregiver to people. im really shy though, and it kind take time for me to open up. when i do open up however, im very loud and carefree and i like cracking jokes and messing around. i love singing and i have an interest in rapping and song writing, but im also an artist. i work very hard and i can get very serious and competitive. im also really sensitive and i cry alot and easily

I'm 19, male, and straight. INFP and Sagittarius. On the bigger and taller side too. I'm mostly interested in gaming and anime, but I also read quite a number of books. I enjoy debating philosophy and religion, but to be frank, I'll debate anything that I can debate. Personality-wise, I have two outward expressions: stoic and emotionless, and smug half grin. I'm usually pretty antisocial, but I like the company of like-minded people. Basically, those I can battle my wits against, and vice versa. A bit follow up, as I ran out of room. I'd prefer a character from Fates, please. And don't let my profile picture make you feel biased towards Soleil. I just like the picture itself. I wish you luck with these, and I thank you for offering to do them! Keep posting all the great content! Good night for now!

Hi!! Could I get a matchup please, if the mini event is still happening? I was thinking Awakening characters, and I prefer guys. I am an Aquarius and infp; I like people who are very protective, and usually calmer/level headed. I enjoy people who make me feel significant and treat me fairly, and with plenty of attention. Thank you!

Could I have a match for Fates, specifically Conquest; preferably a male character? I'm a shy person around people I don't know; yet I don't show it too much as I feel I need to force myself to be out there to make others feel comfortable. I have a short temper and am a very sarcastic person by nature. I take things seriously if needed but tend to like to be the one cracking jokes to ease serious tension. I get nervous often in public situations etc. I enjoy reading and writing, I'm an Aries!

Could I get awakening male match up? I'm a girl, pretty chill. I'm not the most outwardly social but I like talking to people more one on one and having kind of long conversations to really get to know someone. I do have depression though, and sometimes get days where it's bad, so basically just anyone caring and sweet is what I'd look for, but I'm okay with whatever. Thank you!!!!!!!!!

May I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a female looking for a male. Logically minded, but creative. I like cooking and playing video games and I spend a lot of time taking care of my siblings to help my parents out. Also ridden with anxiety and ADHD, but I work through that by working out (I'm in the gym three times a week). Total cat lady. Happiest when I'm alone, but I dearly love my small circle of friends. Also, if it helps, I'm an INTP and Aquarius. Thank you!

For Match-Up; From the Awakening men, please! As for the person to be matched, he is kind and gentle with a soft, warm smile. Patience and optimism are his strongest points being he is never known to lose heart or give up. He does tend to lose track of his own health due to his diligence in his duties though. His mind is sharp however, and often used to devise new and clever approaches to things. He is also a Mage. ISFP-type personality, falling under the Lawful Good morality.

Sorry if I'm sending this through via the wrong method! I'd like to give your match-ups a try (if that's okay) Game: Fates (I don't care which path) MBTI: INTJ (more turbulent) Astrological Sign: Cancer What I like personality wise: • Someone that I can discuss intellectual (especially history-related things) with • Able to comfort/chill someone out • More "mature" (stoic is even okay) • Determined in one way or another • Doesn't mind cats • Does well with a busy partner • Is a guy Thanks! 😸Oh geez, it didn't occur to me that you wanted more info on us as opposed to what we like in relationships. Terribly sorry! It's probably too late, but here's some info on myself (I submitted my request prior to the deadline, but if it was too little info. too late, I totally understand) I'm quite the worry wart use ten words when two would do honestly. I'm a major "dilettante", I dabble in many things but have mastered none. I don't handle extreme emotions all that well. Sorry, and thanks!

I'd like a match up for an awakening character please. No second gens though and preferably a guy. I'm a girl who likes art, reading, and crafting. I have an INFP personality type and I'm a Leo. I tend to keep to myself mostly so someone else would have to initiate conversation. I love animals but I hate bugs. My favorite genre to read is adventure because I find my real life about as interesting as a stale corn chip. True to my zodiac sign my pride is everything to me.

id like an Awakening matchup! Second gen is fine! im 5'8, pan, virgo, INFJ girl with long af brown hair and freckles around my nose and cheeks. im reserved when you first talk to me and its hard for me to really trust people sometimes even if im already close with them. i also make self deprecating jokes to cope w not liking myself a whole lot. im pretty spacey too and i have a hard time remembering stuff. i draw a lot digitally and traditionally and i write sometimes too. thanks in advance!

Hi~ I'd like to request a matchup please! Game: Conquest (all the guys I want to marry are in Nohr oops). Please skip the 2nd gen. Personality: Pisces, INFP, Gryffindor. Easygoing, affable, humourous, thoughtful, observent, affectionate, ambivert, shy but doing my best to put myself out there, introspective, openminded, I've been told I come across as mysterious and intense by people I don't know well. Preference: open/fair minded, loves to learn and travel, even a little romantic/affectionate.

fates matchup please? 😁 i'm a straight entj girl. i'm an outgoing person and take up a lot of leadership roles, e.g. i’m stuco president. i'm a little shy around people at first but i open up quickly. people say that i'm funny and smart, although i am a little mean and a perfectionist... i'm also actually wildly insecure lmao... i also love reading and writing. i don’t enjoy sports but i like volleyball! going out is fun but i can't be around people for too long and like alone time. thank you!

May I please have match up for a male Fates character! Thank you! You're a doll for doin this! I'm generally a calm, if a bit moody kind of girl who adores cute things and nature! I always aim to please and I act sweet and innocent when really I'm only pretending so that people will like me. In reality I'm much more down to Earth and lonely and can care way to deeply about keeping up appearances when all I really want is for someone to look past my façade.

Can I get an Awakening Match-up please? Female, 5'9", strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, INTP. Looking for a guy who's more of a sweetheart and would never raise his voice to me, long hair is preferred. I need someone who will be strong for me when I can't, and enjoys being showered with affection in return. I enjoy reading, drawing, and cooking. Please no second gen characters. Thanks a bunch!

Please could I ask a match with somebody from awakening. I do not mind which gender you choose. I'm a happy, bit cheeky, kind and caring person, it takes awhile for me to get angry and I will show sympathy to people who needs it. I like other people showing kindness to others and being friendly. I am a Taraus and I own Awakening, Birthright and Revelation

I'm a Taurus whom has a love for food, music, and poetry, tries to keep things orderly in his life for the most part, and yet also loves to flatter those whom I love with compliments and gifts. No gender preference, Fates character.

fates matchup? male please!! i'm an infp gemini,, i'm p outgoing and try to make friends w everyone (which can also be a bad thing bc rejection is the Worst) but i love making people laugh most of all!! i play sports solely for the team aspect (soccer n softball) so i'm also p athletic. but i also do love to write and am v easy-going!! thank u v much for doing these!

Matchup for Fates! I'm an ace girl with romantic interest in everyone, 21 and only 5'3" and I'm kinda shy due to being Autistic. I love horses and archery though, with more interest in writing and drawing. I'm a Cancer, and my favorite time of day os the mid afternoon. I used to be a sport swimmer and diver, but now I enjoy the pool for fun. I can be a little overprotective of those I care for when new people come around as well!

fates/conquest, preference male (anyone BUT Leo, Xander & Laslow), cancer & INFJ Tiny, quiet girl. Doesn't like war or fighting and just wants to make her friends and everyone around her happy. Enjoys music and can play almost every string instrument (except the viola) including the piano. She's very timid yet enjoys talking, especially about different lands and myths. She's kind of sick though and has medical issues that affect her ability to go out a lot. Has no preference for males.

Match-up please! I'm a male who enjoys creative writing, animals, baking, fashion, and nature. I'm playful and tend to tease those who I'm close to. I'm pretty nerdy and I'm scared pretty easily. I also love terrible puns. I'm a Gemini, and I'd prefer a female from Fates! Children are fine, too!

Hi I'm hoping the matchup are still open, thank you for this!! I'd like someone from awakening and preferably one of the dudes pls :) I'm an istp, gryffindor and a Scorpio, I've been told I'm a bit intimidating as well as bold and a bit blunt, but also funny. I prefer to hang out with people who are honest and have integrity, people who start shit for no reason piss me off to no end. It doesn't matter if I don't share similar interests with people so long as we get along and have a good time c: No Kid Characters

For matchup I'd prefer Fates Second Gen characters except for anyone younger than Kiragi, I have no preference for Gender or Personality. As for my personality I'm a very lazy hermit who likes literature and I have a good memory. I can be shy and my mood changes a lot between pessimistic and optimistic. I'm also someone who likes to try new things a lot as long as it doesn't require much of physical activities. I also get lost a lot in my thoughts.

Matchup if still open! I'm five foot 3 and INTP in personality. i don't mind either BR or CQ guys. I'm somewhat distant at first glance. I'm kinda moody and irrational, but try to hide that with jokes and silliness. I'm a pessimist at heart. Very picky about things too, whether it be food, clothes, friends, etc..

Can I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a bisexual ESTJ 5'1 1/2" Pisces girl with too many things to say. I've been told my best traits were my charisma, imagination, consideration, and articulation but that I was stubborn and feisty and I can't be intimidating due to my height. I love engineering, history, and hands-on projects and people say I can never stop smiling. To my s/o I can offer comfort, humor, and perspective. They'd just have to deal with my strange sense of humor, unorthodox way to do things, and when I'm mad, a sharp tongue. But after any fights if I'm not blinded by my own stubbornness, I'll be the one to give in and ask for forgiveness. In the relationship I need someone as willing to hold it up and be a part of it as I am.

#match up event #y'all so lucky I copied them to a doc as I got them to keep them sorted for myself #Anonymous

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