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#its probably happens subconsciously but whatever
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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punksocks · 5 months
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To Tame The Untamable: Lilith & Obsession Pt.2- The Placements
*Just based on my experiences, please only take what resonates
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Ok my whole preamble can be found here. That’s all my philosophical reasoning, and my breakdown of the why of what makes people obsessed with Lilith energy. now here’s the placements.
-Natal Placements that can make others obsessed with you:
-Lilith in 1st/conjunct Asc: you’re divisive by accident. People always love you or hate you, but everyone has an opinion on you whether they actually know you or not. You embody Lilith’s dark, rebellious, and sensual femininity without even trying. You probably have a figure that turns heads as well. You come off as fiery and intimidating. Others get enamored and fixated on you. The tricky part can come with invoking such strong reactions in others, a fan can easily turn into an enemy. This can happen just as easily in reverse as well.
-Lilith in 10th/conjunct MC: You come off as controversial as you are powerful. You walk into a room and everyone feels the weight of your presence before you even say a word. Truly the embodiment of boss b*tch energy and you don’t have to try. Your presence demands respect and can easily intimidate others, even potential suitors. Even when you’re at your least confident you’re formidable, at your most confident you’re untouchable.
-Lilith in 7th: You’re a charmer by nature. You may find yourself at the center of controversial attention and scandal in relationships. It’s easy for you to persuade others into doing what you want them to. People may always want to be the one to tame you and to get you to settle down with them but you’re hard to get a hold of.
-Lilith in 4th: You grew up with adults viewing you as competition (which was like super inappropriate for them to do). You may have learned about using your looks/energy as a weapon for survival from an early age. A lot of people are fascinated with the way you handle your home life. You probably give a lot of people fantasies about settling down with you, but they get afraid/intimidated by what that could mean and how that could impact their families (the ones they already have and the ones they hope to have in the future)
-Lilith in 8th: Scorponic themes here. Lilith triggers obsession easily in this house, for both the native and others. Here deep aspects of taboo/shadow desires can be revealed by Lilith’s exposing energy. I feel like this is one of those house placements for Lilith that makes the native have a lot of scandalous experiences in their connections. This is the energy that draws people into you and compels them to do whatever they can to stay with you.
-Lilith in 12th: This points to being on a lot of people’s subconscious minds. Fulfilling a lot of fantasies with the neptunean themes of the house combined with Lilith’s ability to draw out the shadow side of people’s desires. This is also a house that keeps a lot of its energy hidden and tends to hide a lot of people’s reactions to the native, so this is a strong indicator of having secret admirers. Being the girl of their dreams but being relegated to their fantasies.
-Lilith opposition/square Asc: The tension here between the native’s ascendant and Lilith placement creates this energy that’s impactful, too hot to handle even. Many feel intimidated and exposed by your presence alone. You come off as someone that can’t control their own s*x appeal. Untamable in the truest sense, because you can’t even control the energy. When you try to downplay it, it leaks out and makes people suspicious, they assume you must be hiding something and they’re compelled to find out. When you embrace it, you become a force of nature. Like combustion sustained. Many want to compete with you and be the ones to subdue your energy. To be the ones to best you. But they can’t. Not even you can. And it can quickly drive others over the edge. (Sidenote: I feel like this is also the hardest Lilith energy to romanticize, with this placement self awareness becomes one of your most pertinent tools. If you are unaware of yourself this energy can set you in fire, make you outcast yourself or turn manipulative to others due to what you’ve gone through. If you are unaware of others, this can put you in danger because they react in the strongest of ways- instinctively they feel disgust or obsession towards you. It’s a harrowing energy to carry)
-Lilith in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): This is just a theory of mine, but I’ve noticed that for fixed Lilith signs they often have to find balance to avoid getting obsessed with expressing or repressing their fixed Lilith energy. When others come into play, I feel as though they too get fixated. Fixated with how you present yourself when they know you, fixated on how your energy effects them, stuck on you/how they perceive you in general. This is strongest/most obsessive with Lilith in Scorpio imo.
-Lilith in water signs (cancer, scorpio, pisces): I’ve come to interpret Lilith in water signs as having this emotional/subconscious effect. It’s not as explosive as other elements, but it ends up being more permeating. Still waters run deep. The type of connection that leaves you either so emotionally affected or emotionally devastated that you feel it forever. This one never leaves you.
-Lilith in fire signs (aries, leo, sagittarius): Nearly the opposite as above, Lilith in fire signs is the effect of that spark- pure heat- and it rarely lasts, that’s the maddening part. If water signs impress upon your subconscious because they’re so emotionally permeating, then fire signs hit you with a huge burst of energy then you’re left chasing that high for ages. It’s the sultry woman you never see again, or the adventurer who ran off before you could tether yourself to them. It’s a burst of that heat and then it’s gone. Or you’re afraid it’ll leave you. The idea is devastating and then you’re even more hooked than you were before.
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-Synastry that can kick off obsession:
-Lilith conjunct their sun/moon/asc: The feeling of meeting someone that illuminates this hidden side of you. Freeing but terrifying. Knowing someone that holds all of this power to draw out the unseen. And how this will play out tends to depend on the maturity of both parties. For Ascendant when it’s positive, the ascendant person feel empowered by the Lilith person to act and react from a place they were too afraid to before, like they could pursue what they desire without shame through this connection. The Lilith person will feel like they have room to take up space and express parts of their expression they couldn't before, they’ll feel more seen and understood. When it’s negative, the ascendant person will resent how the Lilith person expresses themselves, the Asc person will feel envious of the Lilith person’s up front nature and/or the Lilith person will embody traits they deeply resent but are attracted to. The ascendant person can become obsessed with traits the Lilith person has that repels and attracts them. For Sun, when it’s positive the Lilith person will illuminate the Sun person’s hidden drive, the things that motivate them to express their personality in a way that we’re afraid to before, and the Lilith person will feel lighter and brighter in the sun person’s presence and may become more forgiving/less ashamed of their own shadow side. When it’s negative, the sun person will resent the Lilith person’s drive and personality and the sun person will feel the need to compete with and shame the Lilith person. The Lilith person may feel exposed and will become resentful and belittling to the sun person. The sun person can become obsessed with outdoing the Lilith person and attracting more praise/attention than they do. For moon, when it’s positive the moon person can feel like an emotional freedom with the Lilith person, even if there’s an intensity there the moon person can reveal a side of their deepest selves that only really makes sense between them and the Lilith person. The Lilith person can feel nurtured and the rare chance to feel safe while being vulnerable, they’ll feel deeply emotionally at home with moon person. When it’s negative, the moon person can grow codependent and use the Lilith person as an emotional crutch for their shadow side/insecurities, they can feel like the Lilith person expressing themselves is a personal/emotional attack on the moon person and their vulnerabilities. The Lilith person can feel trapped, emotionally appeasing the moon person. The Lilith person can become manipulative and play on this hidden side of the moon person as well. Maybe the most unhealthy out of all of these when it’s an underdeveloped connection. The moon person can become controlling and obsessive over the emotional solace they feel for the Lilith person and they can easily become possessive.
-Lilith harsh aspects (square/opposition/conjunct) to their Venus: The Venus person never imagined they would fall for the Lilith person, the Lilith person is everything they’re ashamed to be romantically attracted to (some sort of taboo like race, age, social class, etc). The Lilith person has embodied temptation for the Venus person and now the Venus person is hooked, not that they’d ever admit it. The whole connection can have this taboo/forbidden feeling to it whether it’s scandalous or not. The Venus person often has some sort of conflict with who they pictured settling down with and who the Lilith person actually is. The Venus person tends to get obsessed when they can’t find that Lilith person in any other romantic options. They still may resist settling down but they’ll keep coming back. (Pro tip: don’t let them use you- but that’s just an -opinion-)
-Lilith harsh aspects to their Mars: Very similar to above but it’s more likely that the connection is more motivated by s*xual chemistry. The mars person clicks on a level of intimacy that they are unable to with almost anyone else with the Lilith person. The Lilith person can feel deeply desired by the mars person, in turn. The mars person will feel exposed by the darker sides of what they crave intimately being brought to light in their connection to the Lilith person. The mars person may feel especially challenged by the Lilith person, in terms of dominance/power/control. No matter the actual dynamics at hand, the mars person may never feel like they have enough control over the connection and this may make them more agitated/competitive with the Lilith person. The mars person can become obsessive over the strength of the connection and feeling powerless over it.
-Lilith harsh aspects to the Moon: Similar to the Venus and Mars aspects, this would have the most emotional motivation out of all of the connections. The Moon person would have an emotional side of themselves exposed by the Lilith person. If they’re the type to never get emotionally attached then suddenly they’re in their feelings about the Lilith person. If they’re trying not to do anything long term, then they’re considering a life with the Lilith person (the inverse could occur too, with Lilith’s tendency to attract scandal). The Lilith person would find their emotions and vulnerability challenged but may express some unseen side of themselves with the moon person. Could lead to a manipulative and codependent connection if both parties are underdeveloped. The moon person may become obsessive over how much depth they had in their connection with the Lilith person, especially if they can’t get that feeling again.
-Lilith squaring/opposing the angles (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th): The Lilith person will challenge the ways the house person lives and perceives the world/operates throughout their lives. Like how they interpret their experiences and perceive things (1st). How they consider their family and their home, and what feels like home (4th). Their attitudes and actions in relationships and partnerships (7th). How their public image is and what their reputation is, and their career and what it means to them (10th). The obsession usually comes from the “you can never go back to how things used to be” feeling that the Lilith person leaves the house person with. Could be expressed as resentment or being bewildered by this new way of seeing/experiencing things.
-Lilith conjunct their 8th house: The Lilith person can quite easily make the house person feel exposed. They can learn what digs deep at the house person and what triggers them. What darkness they’re hiding. What the house person is obsessed with. Easy aspect for a relationship/connection with a lot of power plays.
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ozzgin · 5 months
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Completely outside my usual fandoms, but I’ve been tempted to scribble out some ideas for the longest time.
Edit: Alright, alright. I’ve officially added CoD to my fandom list. Part 2 is out!
Yandere! CoD Headcanons: König x Reader x Ghost
Featuring two men, one mission, and a female reader that caught their interest more than they’d like to admit. TW: Obsessive behavior, violence, dubious consent, mildly NSFW
[Part II]
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It really shouldn’t be that fucking difficult. You go, you complete the mission, you return. Repeat. That’s what they’ve been doing for years. So much, in fact, that most of it is really just a sequence of mechanical actions, done so often they’ve become part of the subconscious. Crushing the throat under an armlock, stalking the target, mounting the suppressor before a sneak shot. Like driving a car, it becomes a learned routine.
Naturally there are elements of novelty to each mission. New teammates, new places, new requirements. It’s all part of the job. People come and go, comrades stay in your heart. What happens, however, when that latter part isn’t enough? Both Ghost and König have become accustomed to the classic rule: don’t get attached. Yet this time, for whatever reason, the nagging anxiety in the back of their heads just won’t go away. A pitiful need is clawing the walls of their pride, like a stray dog whimpering after the first sign of shelter. People come and go, but (Y/N) stays. Somehow this statement has materialized in their hearts and no other truth can be accepted.
They cannot pinpoint the exact moment this insidious feeling has nestled its way in. It started rather innocently. The first brief greetings were done on the loud, bumpy ride towards the temporary base. ‘Greetings’ is a generous word for it. Ghost had nodded at you in acknowledgement, and König merely glanced at you before staring into the distance.
You scarcely interacted with each other on the field, although that’s probably where their respect for you had gradually built up. You’re swift and efficient, nearly competing in ruthlessness. For König, the most memorable affair was you quietly twisting the neck of an enemy he failed to detect in time. His eyes widened upon seeing the barrel pointed at him, but just as speedily your form emerged from the shadows and you lunged at the assailant. Once the deed had been done, you merely lifted your hand in a thumbs up gesture and you went on. He remained there for a good minute, staring at the massive man you took down without hesitation. Similarly, Lt. Riley felt the cold beads of sweat forming on his forehead as his teammate shouted into the radio, demanding reinforcements. He wouldn’t make it in time and the anticipating guilt begun knotting in his stomach. He was searching for a solution when a prolonged round of bullets jolted him back to the radio. Moments of static silence, before you spoke in your headset: “Targets down. Out.” And just like that, you had vanished.
The realization hadn’t truly hit until they encountered you out of battle. They were going over the map when a small, dainty hand pointed to a random location. For a second they were startled, wondering if a civilian somehow entered their base. They hadn’t even registered your presence. Standing next to König’s enormous frame, you almost faded into the background as one of the furniture pieces. You were still in uniform, sure, but the heavy combat accessories and the dust of the bloodied fields seemed to have added more inches to your posture, at least in their imagination. You glared incredulously and inquired if it’s dementia or misogyny stopping them from recognizing (Y/N) (L/N). Ghost cleared his throat and curtly apologized for his reaction and König mumbled a continuation to it, suddenly and unexplainably awkward.
Such a faux pas would normally be swept under the rug. Had tactfulness and diplomacy been their key strengths, they wouldn’t be out here shooting people. But whatever embarrassment struck them on that particular day continued to linger, tugging their focus in a restless reminiscence. Until it finally occurred to them it wasn’t embarrassment persistently occupying their minds. Rather, and it should’ve been obvious, they have since become helplessly infatuated with you. The elephant in the room had gotten a name. But this particular elephant came with thick tendrils of obsession, spreading out relentlessly and asphyxiating any attempts to subdue it.
It really shouldn’t be that fucking difficult. Except it is. It’s hard for Ghost to look you in the eyes and give you the orders without clenching his fists and desperately trying to bury the avalanching thoughts of pushing you against that very wall, railing you until you forget his name. König can barely peek in your direction without being plagued by indecent images of your flushed, drooling face as he slams into your frail body.
Even worse is when the men become aware of each other’s intentions. Ghost had meant to check up on you after the latest expedition, but he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of König inspecting your wounds, his large hand resting innocently on your thigh as he squatted before you. You were in too much discomfort to notice, but it was clear to him. This bastard had a death wish. Days later it was König’s turn to taste the bitter betrayal when he heard your vibrant laugh approaching. You were thanking your companion for the entertaining workout and Ghost took advantage of your relaxed, distracted mood to place a hand against your arched back. That’s when he looked over with a predatory, malicious glint in his eye, as if marking his territory. You smiled, blissfully unaware of the suffocating tension within the room.
It’s no longer a matter of you accepting them or not. It’s who gets his hands on you first. You really must try to see it from their perspective, (Y/N). Put aside their love for you for a moment, and think about it. They’re only doing what’s best for you. Someone like you will never be satisfied with just any other man out there. You need a fitting partner, one that can protect you with imperishable, incessant loyalty. That’s truly the logical conclusion to it: there’s no one else for you. Just like nobody will ever compare to you in their eyes. And lamentably, you can’t afford to doubt their argument. The clock is ticking, and before they know it, the mission will be over and you’ll all be shipped to the next task. They can’t have that. They must act now.
“Isn’t it kind of early?” You ask, stretching up to check the ammunition shelves. Ghost asked you to help him gather some supplies from one of the storage closets, yet no one else is currently preoccupied with it. The hallways are empty and the only sound is your own shuffle between the cramped walls, emphasized especially by the tall man next to you. “I like to plan ahead” is all he answers. He bites his lower lip underneath the mask, contemplating his next step. How the fuck do you casually tell someone they’ve been your wet dream for months and you’d like to make it official, with or without their input? He should probably leave out the first part. Yeah. You don’t need the details of his nightly activities. Nonetheless, he has to make it clear who you belong to now. Afterwards he’ll deal with the pest that’s been wagging his tail around you.
“Oh, fuck this.” He eventually huffs out, exasperated. You jump slightly at the sudden outburst and turn to him, confused. He approaches you until your back hits the shelves, at which point he slams a hand above your head and effectively traps you between his sinewy arms. Perfect fucking spot. No, he shouldn’t get sidetracked. Plenty of time for that later. “What the hell?” Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth. His eyes are hollow, yet determined. A cold shiver runs down your spine and your eyes dart around the room, looking for an escape. At this distance you wouldn’t be able to tackle him down. He’s too big. Goddamnit. You grip his forearm, hoping to find some switch that pulls him out of this bizarre behavior. Ghost opens his mouth to speak, but the words dissolve into the explosive noise of the door ripping from its hinges. You yell at the sudden commotion.
König walks in, bending under the small doorframe. He seems to have just returned from the battlegrounds, vest splattered with fresh blood and sleeves scratched and torn. Despite the usual cloth draped over the head, you can discern a feral expression plastered on his face. “Du Landschlampe.” He growls and extends a hand towards Ghost. He clicks his tongue, annoyed, and is forced to release his hold on you to block the incoming blow. This is your chance. You nod at the Austrian man, grateful for his help, and proceed to sprint for the exit. Contrary to your expectations, he swiftly blocks your path and you slam into his body as the air is abruptly expelled from your lungs. You fall to the ground from the powerful momentum.
“You’re not leaving until we settle this”, König states in a low voice. Ghost reaches for one of his pockets and pulls out his hunting knife with a parading twirl. “That, I agree with. Let me show you exactly what happens to the fucker that messes with my woman.” König lets out a chuckle. “I was going to say the same thing.” You can only stare in terror.
What on Earth is going on?
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kinkandkreep · 10 months
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𝑫𝒚𝒏𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒚: 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 1
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♡︎ 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!𝑴𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒍 𝑶'𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒙 𝑭𝒆𝒎!𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
♡︎ 𝑪𝑾: 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆, 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
♡︎ "__" 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆
♡︎ 𝑻𝒂𝒈 𝑳𝒊𝒔𝒕: @pinkrose1422 @freeingrebels @lollipoppersposts
♡︎ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 2 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 3 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 4 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆
He never forgets.
You sighed, tired and frustrated with this cliche ass situation you found yourself in. 
Like every Lifetime movie gone wrong, here you sat in the kitchen of your home, previously lit candles now extinguished, lovingly cooked meal gone cold on the table before you. 
It was you and Miguel’s third anniversary. And, unfortunately, it seemed he had forgotten. 
He’s not here.
Initially, when you realized just how late it was getting, you tried to be sensible about what could possibly have happened. A part of you even started to panic, given that you hadn’t heard from him and when you’d spoken to him last, he’d been preparing to go do his usual patrols and surveillance of the city. 
You worried that perhaps he’d gotten hurt, or worse. 
But then you remembered who you were talking about and that worry quickly diminished. 
Miguel wasn’t invincible but he was damn close, and the usual thugs he encountered were no match for him and his determination backed super strength. 
Sighing a breath of relief, you then contemplated the remaining possibilities. 
‘Maybe it’s a work thing, he’s spent plenty of late nights there or in the lab before.’
Your mind seemed most comfortable with this speculation, and so you released the issue, instead focusing on maintaining a positive attitude for when Miguel eventually arrived. 
Except that nine became ten, ten became eleven, eleven became midnight and you realized with a heavy heart that your husband had indeed forgotten your anniversary. 
Glancing at the clock, and seeing that it read 12:22, you stood from the dining room table, beginning the process of cleaning up and packing away the leftover food and needlessly dirtied dishes. 
You would wash them later on in the day. 
Once that was finished, you began making your way to your bedroom, removing your jewelry and heels along the way. Entering the room, you put everything back in its proper place, slipping out of your dress and putting on a more comfortable pajama set. 
You momentarily considered putting on one of Miguel’s shirts for comfort, but rather quickly abandoned the idea. 
You were preparing to slip under the covers when you heard the telltale beeping from the front door. It opened a little more noisily than was probably appropriate given the time of night it was, but it closed much more softly. 
You didn’t immediately hear any footsteps sound, which struck you as a little odd, so against your better judgement, you called out a soft, “Gigi?”
Almost immediately after, you could hear rustling and the beginning of steps up the stairs. After a few seconds, your bedroom door began to creep open, and a dull red eye peeked through the gap. 
For whatever reason, Miguel stayed that way for some moments, and it was beginning to creep you out. Thankfully, he eventually eased the door open the rest of the way, and slipped into the room. 
You could see he held a large bouquet of many different kinds of flowers. From what you could make out, there were blue hyacinths, Lily of the Valley, pink roses and white orchids. 
All different flowers meant to convey the same message. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Miguel’s voice was low, and a tad raspier than it normally was. You couldn’t tell if it was because he was tired or what, but alarm bells sounded in your brain nevertheless. 
Which was…strange. 
Miguel wouldn’t make eye contact with you, instead staring down at the flowers he appeared to be subconsciously clutching tightly against his chest. 
“I know, Miguel. So am I.”
His head shot up at that, and he leveled you with a quizzical stare. 
“What?”
You lifted a hand, gesturing for the flowers and to your en suite. 
“You’re sorry you forgot and so am I. Now please, it’s late, I’m very tired and I would appreciate it if you would just get cleaned up so we could go to bed.” 
He continued to stare at you confusedly, even as he inched forward to offer you the flowers. Standing still momentarily, he placed a tentative kiss on your forehead, missing the way you rolled your eyes. 
Pulling away, he turns and heads into the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself. You hear some rustling, and a few moments later, you hear the water begin to run. 
Sighing, you take a seat on the bed, throat tightening as you feel tears threaten to spill. Though it’s only been a short time, and though you’ll never cease to feel silly for it, you’ve come to a conclusion. 
‘Miguel’s having an affair.’
.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・ ✧ :-.・゜
It takes around 30 minutes, but by the time Miguel’s finished, you’ve already drifted off into an uneasy, dreamless slumber. 
Miguel emerges from the bathroom clad in only a towel that hangs loosely around his waist. Upon noticing that you’re apparently asleep, he tries to be more quiet as he maneuvers around your bedroom, opening and closing drawers much more softly than he normally would. 
As he moves, his mind reels. 
‘She seemed pissed. And worse than that, she seemed fed up. Could-...does she know?’
Almost immediately, Miguel shakes the thought from his mind. 
‘No, she doesn’t. She can’t.’
Miguel refuses to think about the possibility anymore, and refuses to acknowledge the thoughts as they race through his mind all the way up until he falls asleep. 
And that includes pointedly ignoring the dried tear streaks decorating your cheeks. 
.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・ ✧ :-.・゜
When you awake, you’re surprised to find Miguel still in bed with you. 
A quick glance at the clock tells you that it’s almost 10:30, much later than either of you would normally ever stay in bed, but especially your husband, who’s been an early riser for as long as you’ve known him. 
You look over to him, and watch the slow, steady rise and fall of his bare chest as he continues sleeping. 
Even as exhausted as you are, you can’t deny that your husband is gorgeous. From his chiseled cheeks and sharp jaw, to the tussle of chestnut hair sitting atop his head and his plump, perpetually pouting lips, you couldn’t help but stare in awe at the beauty of the man before you. 
You wonder what’s got him so tired. 
‘Probably entertaining that bitch.’
The bitter thought sears a jagged line through your consciousness, causing your face to unwittingly curl up into an angry snarl. 
You have half a mind to suffocate the sleeping bastard with your pillow, but the thought is interrupted as he begins stirring awake. 
Miguel is mumbling something unintelligible as he smacks his lips, grimacing as he begins to stretch and yawn. The popping sound his back makes is sharp, and he sighs, relaxing back into the bed.
Finally, he opens his eyes, red orbs searching around the room until they land on you. 
A pleasant smile lifts the corners of his mouth upward, and he opens his mouth to greet you. 
“Buenos dias, mi corazón. Did you sleep well?”
You’re unable to stop the scoffing noise that makes its way out of your throat. He has quite the gall, lilting such pleasantries after he forgot about your anniversary and tried to apologize with a shitty bouquet of flowers. Now he wants to pretend that everything is just alright?
You’re becoming so angry you’ve started to shake, and upon noticing this and your expression, which has morphed into a searing glare, Miguel frowns, sitting up quickly and moving to put a hand on your thigh, which you quickly swat away. 
“Cariño? What’s the matter?”
You continue to glare at your husband for a few seconds more, before silently standing from the bed and quickly making your way downstairs. 
“__!” Miguel calls after you, but you refuse to answer. 
You can soon hear him shuffling out of the bed and making his way down the stairs after you, but you don’t care. Sure, you’ve got your speculations about what could possibly have caused your husband to forget your anniversary, but you want more solid proof before you lash out.
Taking a couple deep breaths, you brace yourself on the kitchen counter, turning just in time to see Miguel reach the bottom step. 
He watches you with a worried expression, lips pouted and soft eyes wide. 
“__? Are you ok? You were shaking a minute ago.”
He approaches you tentatively, almost as if he can sense the inner turmoil within you and knows that it’s because of him. 
You simply watch him as he comes closer, trying to keep your breathing and your mouth in check. 
“Baby?”
Taking one last deep breath, you push yourself up from the counter, moving over to the refrigerator and opening its door, absently rummaging through its contents to find something to eat.
Behind you, you can hear Miguel sigh, and after a moment you feel his presence beside you. 
“__, if something’s wrong, you know you can tell me right? I’m right here for you.”
On reflex, you slam the refrigerator door shut, a pitcher of orange juice clutched tightly in your hand. You speedily sit it on the countertop, trying again to get your breathing in check.
“__, this isn’t funny. The silent treat-...”
“Where were you last night, Miguel?”
You spin quickly, now facing your husband, who appears stunned. His eyes are wide, but this time you can find a trace of desperation and something that looks suspiciously like fear lurking within their bloodred depths. 
“W-...I-I was at the lab.”
“And where else?”
You’re slightly surprised by how firm your voice sounds. You’re also able to maintain steady eye contact with your husband, who looks increasingly uncomfortable by the second. 
“Doing patrols. Got into a scuffle with a couple criminals. Look __, if…if this is about me missing our anniversary I’m really-”
“You’re sorry, I know Miguel.” Your smile is sardonic, and you once again turn your back to your husband, beginning to pour yourself a glass of juice and taking a small sip. 
“You could have at least called.” You speak, and you can see Miguel perk up out of your periphery, but then deflate again at your words. 
“You’re right. I-...I’m sorry.”
It’s silent between you for a few moments, nothing but the sound of the birds chirping and your quiet sips can be heard. 
Your glass is finished by the time either of you speaks again, and you work to pour yourself another. 
“Tell me Gigi.” The man really brightens at the sound of his special nickname. It’s short lived however, because of the words that follow. 
“If you had to choose between saving me, and saving everyone else, which would you choose?” You manage to keep your expression flat, and the air around you both seemingly stills as Miguel’s breath audibly hitches.  
“I-...” His mouth opens then closes, and he seems to flounder for a satisfactory answer. 
“I would…would save you both, of course.” You’ve never really known your husband to stutter so much before. 
“That isn’t one of the options I gave you. I said you had to choose between us. So, choose.”
The silence returns, much heavier this time. It lingers for many seconds, and by the tenth you know he’s already chosen his answer. 
“You know I can’t do that __.”
The glass you're holding cracks as it hits the marble of your countertop. 
“Why the fuck not Miguel?! Why can’t you choose me over everything else for fucking once?!” You’ve spun around to face him once more, one hand perched on your hip. Your eyes have widened with anger, brows deeply furrowed and breath heavy.
Miguel sighs, shaking his head. 
“We’ve had this conversation before, __. I have a responsibility. You said you understood!” You can sense Miguel becoming angry himself, which only serves to make you more livid. 
“I am your wife, Miguel. The supposed “love of your life,” remember. There ought not be this turmoil about prioritising me. You couldn’t even be there for our anniversary. I don’t ask for much from you, ever. Never have. I just ask that when the time comes, you would show up, like you promised.”
Now you’ve gotten up in his face, expression still severe. He watches you with pinched brows, jaw set tight. 
“I was there, Miguel. All those nights, patching you up and scolding you for being a reckless idiot. I was there, comforting you when you failed to save someone, reassuring you when you were losing hope. I’m not saying you ought to choose me out of obligation, but out of love. The same love that I’ve given you unconditionally, the same love that I want returned.”
You stare each other down for nearly a minute, you searching Miguel’s eyes for any sense of understanding. 
You find little. 
“You’re right, __. You were right there, all those times I made mistakes and had to rectify them. You were my backbone, my support when I had none. But you were also there when I explained how serious this responsibility is to me, and not just to me, but for everyone. You know how selfish I used to be, and I refuse to let my selfishness cost people their lives.”
You scoff out a laugh at his words, unbelieving in the moment that he’s actually being serious. 
“So let me get this straight Miguel. You want me to understand that if it came down to it, you would sacrifice me for innumerable other random people, all because it’s your “responsibility”?” You use air quotes, your expression slightly mocking as you stare up at the larger man. 
He frowns, breathing once heavily through his nose. 
“I want you to be less selfish, __. I thought you understood that when the time came, I would do what needed to be done.”
“Of course I don’t fucking understand that! You said you loved me! I’m supposed to believe you would give up someone you love for a bunch of people you don’t?!” You’re exasperated now, and can feel the tears beginning to build up in your eyes. 
Why can’t Miguel seem to look past his “duty” and see what’s right in front of him? Is he…is he trying to push you away?
‘He’s pushing you away so he can feel less bad about pursuing that tramp.’
The thought leaves a shiver down your spine, and you can feel red hot anger bloom as heat all over your body.
“That’s precisely what it means to be a hero, __!” The color in Miguel’s eyes has begun to swirl with his building anger. 
“No, Miguel. Sacrificing the people you love for people who wouldn’t even know to appreciate the gesture isn’t heroism.” You look him in the eyes, leaning up close until your noses nearly brush. “It’s foolishness. And it seems you’re the biggest fool of them all.”
Miguel’s eyes widen, the crimson of them shooting scarlet. His breathing immediately picks up, and his hands begin rhythmically clenching by his sides. 
“Y-...you-...”
Without finishing his sentence, Miguel turns on his heel and storms up the stairs to the second floor, slamming your bedroom door. 
You wait a few moments, before collapsing into a dining chair, hands in your face as you quietly sob. 
.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・ ✧ :-.・゜
You’ve since stopped crying and began making lunch when you hear Miguel stomping down to the first floor. You turn to watch him, who has since become fully clothed, as he heads to the entryway, slipping on his jacket. 
“Where are you going,” you call out, averting your eyes for just a moment from the sizzling pan in front of you. 
“To the lab,” your husband replies without looking up from slipping on his shoes. 
“Why? It’s,” you glance up at the clock, “12 o’clock and you haven’t eaten.”
“It’s fine, I’ll find something myself.” Miguel’s words are curt, his tone clipped. 
You contemplate pressing the matter, but decide against it, figuring if Miguel wants to run away like a petty child, then that’s exactly what you’ll let him do. 
You hear the door slam, and it makes you only slightly flinch.
.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・ ✧ :-.・゜
You don’t see Miguel for the rest of the day. 
You’ve cooked, ate, straightened up, showered and spent the majority of the day passing time scrolling through social media and catching up on shows and movies you’ve wanted to see. 
It’s 9:30, and you’re in the middle of a yawn when the first message comes. 
It’s from an unknown sender, and it’s a zip file. 
You’re very hesitant to open it at first, becoming immediately afraid that someone is on some weird shit. 
But then, an actual text message follows. 
And your hand shakes as you read it. 
‘You could never understand, __, not like I do.’
Heart pounding, you’ve now been given the motivation you need to open the compressed file. 
You very quickly wish you hadn’t. 
Inside are dozens of photos, all of Miguel and another woman in…compromising positions, to say the absolute least. 
They’re in different states of undress in each photo, the last few even featuring them in what appears to be post coital bliss. 
You can’t tear your eyes away from the screen, your absolute worst fears having been realized. 
Finally, you reach the end of the content in the file, and to your further horror, it’s a short 10 second clip. 
Against your better judgement, you click it.
Immediately, your ears are assaulted with the high pitched moans of the woman in the photos, Miguel’s much deeper swears and grunts audible in the background. It seems the camera’s been positioned at an odd angle, almost as if it’s meant to be hidden. 
From wherever it is, you can see both the woman and Miguel in all their naked glory, bodies moving rhythmically against each other.
You only realize you’re crying because your view of the screen becomes blurry. 
Your mouth is agape, and you're finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. 
Before you can throw the phone away, one last message comes in. 
It’s a screenshot of messages appearing to have been sent between Miguel and the woman. 
You can’t read much of it, your stomach won’t allow you, but from what little you are able to read, Miguel appears to be complaining about you to the other woman, who agrees and encourages everything he says. 
You’ve had enough, and you click your phone off, leaning back on the couch to process all you’ve just witnessed. 
‘Miguel is cheating on me. Miguel slept with another woman. Miguel thinks I’m a nuisance. Miguel, Miguel, Miguel…’
You pause, clicking off the television and standing slowly, grabbing your phone and making your way upstairs to the bathroom. 
Without a single utterance of sound, you shower and run through your oral hygiene routine, picking out a fresh set of pajamas and climbing into bed. 
You find yourself unable to sleep, so afraid you are that your dreams will be filled with visions of your husband’s infidelity. 
He doesn’t come home that night.
.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・゜-: ✧ :-.・ ✧ :-.・゜
Buy me a Kofi?
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vivmaek · 7 months
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good! Do all aspects and placements in someone’s chart make up their appearance? I’ve heard that it does, and I’ve heard that it doesn’t. Just curious to know :)
THE NATAL CHARTS RELATION TO PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Hi, I love this question! I can see arguments for both sides, but in my opinion I think all placements within someones chart make up appearance. I say this because our emotions and inner psychology directly affect physical appearance. And the same can be said for our physical environments. Here are some examples:
Gemini Saturn in the 12th House - Prone to getting bags under the eyes due to poor sleep. Struggles with anxiety and poor appetite.
Venus in the 2nd House - Having the resources to maintain ones appearance. Having access to high quality food, clothing, makeup, and skincare.
Neptune in the 8th House - Prone to drug usage, and is especially susceptible to the negative side effects. These types look spaced out and detached even if they have never used substances. They've probably been asked, "Are you high?" even if dead sober.
12th house stellium - Looks mysterious, even when you get to know them. No one ever truly knows a 12th house stellium. My life long friend constantly reveals details about her life that change the way I view her. And I never really know what she is up to, even when we were in each others daily lives. She travels more than any young person I know, yet remains humble and wise. 12th house stelliums are the ultimate mystiques, and this is an incredibly attractive quality.
1st House stellium - Their distinct personality overpowers whatever their physical appearance may be. Usually people attach traits onto others based on their physical appearance, but the reverse happens for 1st house stelliums. It is almost like they're cartoon characters, its like their personality and sense of character was developed before their physical form even came into existence. Their physical appearance suits who they are so well, I don't know how else to describe it.
Pluto in the 6th house - There are periods in which people with this placement will be overworked.
Scorpio Uranus in the 12th House - The wild card. Their subconscious state shifts drastically and changes unexpectedly, and this most definitely affects the ways in which they present themselves to the world.
Scorpio Mars in the 5th House - People with this placement are baddies. Cool af and might partake in some dangerous hobbies.
Chart ruler in the 4th House - Nostalgia frames the ways in which these people present themselves. Might have a timeless look about them.
Virgo Mercury in the 8th House - Could partake in hygienic practices that are diligent and maybe strange.
Cancer Saturn in the 5th House - Handyman vibes. Down to earth in their self expression.
Sun in the 3rd House - Seemingly youthful, the eternal student.
Strong 11th House placements - Their appearance is somehow associated with whatever group they belong to. This could be church, clubs, sports teams, humanitarian efforts. (For instance, Tom Cruise has his Jupiter in the 11th house and you can't look at him without thinking about Scientology.)
Strong 7th House placements - Tend to take on traits adapted from their relationships. They mirror people.
Uranus in the 9th House - Might end up living amongst a culture that differs from the one they grew up in. This will affect the ways in which people perceive their appearance.
Saturn Square Pluto - 😐 <- this face
Mercury Trine Pluto - 🤨 <- this face
Mars aspecting Uranus - Prone to accidents, bodily injury, scars.
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phoenixblaze1412 · 4 months
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halloaa, i was the anon who asked for dottore as our father, and it was pretty cute! can i request something the same, where we were playing around in his lab then we accidentally turned into a cat after knocking a random chemical, how would our father (dottore) react? thank youuuuu!! (father dottore has been in my mind for a while now tehee)
Of course^^
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Cat-astrophe.
You didn't know exactly what happened. You were only playing a board game with the segments, your current caretakers, in the laboratory while your father is busy attending a meeting. Now here you are running away from the chaos Gamma, Theta and Beta had caused that you didn't see where you were running to.
This caused you to harshly bump into a nearby work desk, the vial placed on top of it fell over as the concoction poured itself over your head all the way to your small figure. A loud explosion occurred, smoke filling inside the room as you felt yourself becoming more smaller than usual when you noticed your surroundings got a bit bigger than what you remembered.
Your ears quickly caught the sound of multiple footsteps coming inside the laboratory as the voices of the other segments echoed inside the room and calling for your name. Theta and Beta kept calling out your name as they tried to find your tiny figure within the smoke, worried that you may have been caught in whatever the explosion was.
You tried to call out to the segments but all that escaped from your throat was a small mewl. Your eyes widened in surprise as you looked down at yourself only to see your hands and feet have become paws. You tried to move around when you accidentally stepped on a glass shard from a broken test tube, the glass sinking deep into your paw as blood started to spill, making you panic and cry for help.
"Is it just me or am I hearing a cat?"
"You're not the only one, besides no one is even allowed to bring a pet here without anyone's knowledge."
"I remember hearing something bump.. it could probably be (Y/n)?"
Omega let out an annoyed sigh as he turned on the ventilation system to get rid of the smoke. Once the smoke cleared up, the segments found a small kitten mewling on the floor. What caught their attention was the kitten's red eyes and its blue fur.
"....(Y/n)?"
The segments watched as the kitten mewled in response to the name, making them both shocked and surprised at what happened to their creator's child.
Gamma quickly walked up towards you and picked up your tiny form. He was both panicking and gushing at how cute you are as a feline.
"They're so tiny and their fur is so soft!"
"Don't just hog them all to yourself, let us see as well!"
You tried to get out of the segments' grasp since their hold on you was adding more pressure to your wound and sinking the shard even deeper than before, making you let out a hiss. You tried to tell the segments to stop and let you go but couldn't due to your current situation.
"What are you idiots doing? Why is the laboratory a mess?"
All the segments halted in their positions as their heads turned to see Dottore glaring at them from the doorway. Dottore raised a brow, usually when he comes back he would see you running up to him but now, you're nowhere to be found.
"Where is (Y/n)?"
The segments looked at one another, speaking telephatically to each other before pushing Gamma to the front.
"You see... little (Y/n) became a kitten."
"What."
Gamma held you out towards your father, you sat upon the segment's open palms. You looked at your father, happiness bubbling inside you knowing that he's here and knows how to turn you back, your tail subconsciously swishing back and forth. Dottore picked you up by the scruff of your neck as he inspected your feline form before letting out a sigh.
"I want this place cleaned up when I get back. Is that understood?"
"Yes!"
Dottore adjusted his hold on you so you were being carried between his palms instead. He brought you to his office before placing you down on his work desk as he sat down in front of you.
"Unfortunately, my child, you were doused with a cat transformation potion from one of my old concoctions. How fortunate for you, it wasn't the one that turns you into a worm. Not to worry, the effects will last within an hour or two."
Your father explained while you let out a small mewl in reply as you started to limp towards him. Dottore noticed the droplets of blood staining the papers on his desk as he quickly grabbed your neck and lifted you up to his eye level. He lightly poked and prodded at you, searching for the cause of your bleeding.
When Dottore held your injured paw, you immediately let out a hiss and without knowing it, you roughly bit down on your father's finger. Dottore bit the inside of his cheek, not bothered at all from the bite as he tried to calm you down by stroking your chin with his thumb. A small purr escaped from your throat as you pulled away from the bite to nuzzle to your father's touch.
While you were distracted, Dottore noticed the glass shard on your paw as he grabbed a tweezer from his drawers. Once he made sure you were calmed, your father held your forelimb as he pulled the shard away from your paw using his tweezers before placing a small bandage on your wound.
"Not in pain anymore, little one?"
You nodded in reply to your father's question. Feeling guilty for biting his finger, you nuzzled your head to the wounded finger.
"Ah, ah, ah... don't even try to lick my wound, child. Who knows if you have rabies."
Dottore teased with a grin as he booped your small nose before picking you up and placing you upon his lap so he can sign the documents given to him.
"You may rest if you wish, little one. The potion will wear off soon and you'll be back to your normal self."
Happy with the news, you settled against your father's lap, making yourself comfortable as you soon fell asleep. Dottore let out a small hum when he noticed you were already sleeping as he petted your head while signing the rest of his papers needed.
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kyushiblast · 2 months
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⤷ 〝 jealous much? 〞
➞ pairings : grusha , arven , & jacq ( separate ) x gn! reader
➞ summary : how they react when jealous.
➞ genre : fluff
➞ cw / other : nothing
➞ a/n : need requests y’all
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❝ grusha ❞
— ♥ the incident of his career hadn’t just affected him physically, a mental toll was in state along with it including his bit of possessiveness for you.
— ♥ he can’t help it. after all, you’re on his list of most cherished. and as cheesy as it sounds, he’d hate losing someone so precious to him as he’d lost his occupation.
— ♥ so when he sees this person shamelessly hitting on you, of course he’s going to step in and say something.
— ♥ glaseado mountain has a few forms. sometimes calm, sometimes sharp and unforgiving as if mad at the people climbing its skin. grusha’s cold persona towards the person embodied that.
— ♥ would probably threaten to pokémon battle. just because he’s an ice type gym leader doesn’t mean that he’ll just have ice type pokémon on hand every time, so he’d most likely use varieties including those you’ve traded with him.
— ♥ he’ll be levelheaded as much as he can until the other person initiates a snap or an aggressive show, but either way in the end he’ll definitely come up to you and ask if you’re okay.
— ♥ expect a brief hug after, and maybe a few kisses or two. he’s not too big on pda, especially if some people come by to watch him battle and he’s waiting for the area to clear up.
— ♥ but the best part is him being in denial about being clingy afterwards. that’s when teasing him is essential.
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❝ arven ❞
— ❀ he’s the type to be suspicious and accusatory first, ask later.
— ❀ will cross his arms and be sassy. maybe something like, “is this person bothering you, (y/n)? i can deal with ‘em.”
— ❀ when he’s jealous he’s obvious. he’ll pull you in more, scowl and throw sarcastic comments at the other person, and he’ll suggest to go somewhere else.
— ❀ WILL throw in a regular pokemon challenge to the other if it gets to that point. like might as well make it a tradition or smth to go up to someone and challenge them whenever lmao ,, wait that already happens
— ❀ arven would also grasp onto your arm or sleeve subconsciously, afterwards backing away and apologizing after the person’s gone for just grabbing your arm.
— ❀ “i hate it when people just keep persisting on someone even when they’re obviously taken…” arven would sigh, “…but hey, it means you’re hot stuff if people keep coming to take you away from me!”
— ❀ then he’d offer to go on a picnic or something, whatever you’d like. he’s just glad that you’re there with him, no matter what.
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❝ jacq ❞
— ☾ the other person isn’t gonna take jacq seriously. i mean, he does look like he just woke up, with his laid back attitude and ruffled clothing. but the charm in it was something you could admire, and clearly the other person didn’t see that.
— ☾ he’s a lil irritated. not just because this person’s competing against him, but also because they have a solid chance.
— ☾ they looked better and dressed better, they were smooth with talking, and in no way did jacq feel as if he could compete properly against them.
— ☾ you seemed to sense his thoughts, holding his hand comfortingly. his heart, as if a weight was pushed off of it, immediately lightened.
— ☾ THEN he had the confidence to say some things. and after you both left the scene, a semi-heartbroken person left behind, he’d kiss you on the forehead thanking you for everything.
— ☾ sure, it was just a small scenario that doesn’t hold much significance in one’s eye. but it strengthened your relationship in the end, and as dorky as it seems, it mattered.
— ☾ jacq’s a good person. he just needs you there to remind him of it. give him one compliment and he’ll pay back tenfold.
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work of kyushiblast , please do not translate , copy , or repost here or on any other platform !!
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sleekswosobession · 3 months
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together forever
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hayley raso x fem!reader
request: here
A/N: I got my new goalie gloves today 😜
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Come on, the beach will be fun. Aussie beaches are like the best in the world! And it’s summer. Get up.” My girlfriend says.
“Hayley, we’ve been everyday this week.” I sigh sinking into the couch.
“Yeah but we haven’t been there on sunset. Sunsets on the beach are a different kind here.” She ends up giving puppy dog eyes which she knows I can’t say no to. In all our years of dating she still manages to make me crumple.
“Fine, it better be worth it.” Her smile grows wider and she jumps up and down. To which, I can only laugh at.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.” I grab my phone and a towel, before following her outside and we begin the walk to the beach.
The walk consists of small talk, Hayley seems slightly nervous but I can’t imagine why. Maybe she doesn’t think I’ll like it? Time can only tell. I place her hand in mine in hopes that whatever she’s worried about will go away when she sees the sunset.
Once we arrive, I place the towel down and immediately gape at the sight in front of me. The sky is lit up in all sorts of warm colours. The sun only a third of the way set as it casts an orange glow around it. Yellow and red fill other parts of the sky, making the whole area look like it’s out of a painting. The water contrasts perfectly against the horizon, where large ships can be seen but barely.
“Haiz.. I don’t know what to say. This is… beautiful. Why wasn’t I shown this earlier?” I look at her, still in awe about our surroundings.
All she does is smile.
“I needed to wait for a special moment. Now sit. Sunset doesn’t last too long. Maybe take a picture? Even though we both know nothing compares to real life.” I nod at her words wondering what the special moment could mean.
I turn my gaze back out to the water, watching some distant surfers riding waves and getting taken out, there’s not many other people though.
“I can feel you staring babe.” I break our peaceful silence.
“I know.” Does it sound weird that I can hear her grin? Confused, I turn to look at her but my mouth drops at what she’s holding. Before I can say anything she starts.
“We’ve been dating for 3 years, which have been the best of my life, no one can make me feel the way you do. I’ve had relationships, but you’re the one that has felt the most right. If I’m not with you, I wonder what you’re doing subconsciously. Which is why I’ve decided I want you to be mine forever. So, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N will you make me the happiest woman ever, and marry me?”
Throughout the speech my eyes well up, I can’t believe this is happening. When she finally says the question, there’s only one answer to be said.
“Yes, with every ounce of myself yes!” I cry out, she takes the ring out of the box placing it on the left ring finger.
“How did I get so lucky to have you?” I say before thinking about it.
“I was about to say the exact same thing.” She takes my hand and kisses it. “The best sunset in the world, with the best girl in the world.” I blush uncontrollably, not even trying to hide it.
“Are we going to tell the fans? When they find out they’re gonna go crazy.” I exclaim, it’s only last week her national teammate Ellie got engaged.
“Yes we can if that’s what you want. Now?” I nod smiling. I take the photo, making sure to include the jaw dropping sunset. Hayley’s arms are wrapped around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder kissing my neck softly. While I show the ring in all its glory, she probably went broke.
I take to instagram, including her on the post with the caption ‘I’ve got the best fiancé a girl could have, and you all have another thing to go crazy about.” I hit post laughing with the one I get to call mine, and we sit until twilight. Nothing else needs to exist if I’ve got her.
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mikobeautifulheart · 26 days
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7 minutes in panic. College Gojo x reader
1700 WORDS EXACTLY.
The one time you decide to go to a party, it goes wrong.
TW: Use of drugs (U get drugged) and are stuck in a small closet for 7 minutes. (Btw there is no smut, just fluff)
UNEDITED AND VERY SELF INDULGET so it might not make much sense?
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You had never been to a party before, let alone one in a cramped dorm spilling with people, even some of them in the hallway standing, drinking, talking and shamelessly making out. 
This is probably what you expected but you couldn't help but feel nervous, god why did you go alone? Was it because you're only 2 reliable friends who knew it was a dumb idea-
Walking down the hallway the smell of sweat and alcohol got stronger filling your lungs almost making you get drunk in the air. Why did you even come? Whatever it's too late to turn back might as well commit.
The room was cramped and the music was muffled by all the people surrounding the speaker. You walked toward the counter and picked up a red cup, typical just like the movies, but nothing bad or dramatic is going to happen to you, right? You held the cup awkwardly looking at your hands, almost hesitating to drink the contents, you didn't know what was in it and the smart people would have their suspicions about it, but why worry? You were to stressed anyway you needed a break.
As much as you didn't mind the workload, you loathed the assigned partnered assignments because you were always paired with Gojo.
You already knew him through your other friends, Geto and Shoko.
You didn't mind always being paired with him and he always did his work load, sometimes you'd have to do a bit of his part but he would always thank you with a surprise, usually some sweets.
The worst part was just that he was...hot. He always made your heart forget how to function when you two work together.
‘“And what are you doing here? I thought you weren't the one to frequent parties?” You were snapped out of your imagination only to be faced with someone's chest- you looked up and wow… it was him, Gojo.
“Uh well um I just, its,” you let out an airy laugh trying to distract him from the blush on your face. 
“I don't have anything to work on right now so I thought id give it a shot…” You subconsciously took a drink out of the cup you were holding, breaking eye contact with him.
“I can tell '' he laughed and smiled pleasantly toward you.
Oh gosh if only you'd have a chance, he's not top of the class but he is smart when he really thinks and a sports legend. His biceps easily make its presence known out of the short sleeved shirt that fit him all too well. He was the dream guy, but you, you thought you were nothing compared to him.
You didn't love yourself but you didn't hate yourself, you sort of just accepted the way you look so you just worked with it.
You turned to leave the party as you heard someone yell
"SPIN THE BOTTLE" followed by loads of cheers.
“Leaving already?” He said with his brows furrowed
“Uh I think i'm going to get some air, it's hot in here” you flashed a smile.
You started to push your way through the crowd. It was rough but then you felt a hand latch onto your wrist.
“Hold on tight” Gojo looked at you before guiding you through the many, many people.
Your heart nearly burst. You eventually reached a window putting your elbows down on the window sill and placing your head in your hands.
“I saw your last basketball game, nice win” You said, giving him a smile before turning your head up to the sky.
“You-you watched my game?”
You looked at him puzzled until you saw him rubbing the back of his neck with a blush creeping up his neck.
“Uh yeah you looked really good to” You said
“LOOKED GOOD PLAYING-” Trying to save yourself from the embarrassing comment you let slip out. Must have been the drink making you lose focus.
There was silence in the air then you heard two familiar voices, it was Geto and Shoko singing along terribly to the song playing with slurred words and drunk voices. 
“I think i'm going to head in again, are you coming? Totally fine if you're not you don't have too” Gojo said looking to the side trying to avoid your gaze.
"I wouldn't mind that'' you said, waking up beside him taking your opportunity.
The door is pushed open and you walk over to Geto and Shoko, you told them you were going with Gojo and might leave early so they wouldn't worry about you.
You mentioned something about Gojo before the room erupted with a mixed reaction of jealousy and excitement. Looking back from your side there it was… a bottle pointing at you. Puzzled you follow the gazes of the room until you realised it was Gojo on the other side of the room looking at you. He was the one that had spun the bottle and accidently roped you into the game "7 minutes in heaven". A guy drags you and Gojo by the wrists and pushed both you guys in a closed down the hallway from the party.
It was dusty and small but still enough space for you to lean against the wall and have one step of space between the two of you. A lock sound was heard outside the door. This was it you were stuck.
"Ha...sorry you are here right now I didn't mean it." Gojo said looking at you in the dark.
You fidgeted in the dark unconfutably. How do you even stand here with the guy you like and do nothing?
“Relax.” The sudden feeling of his head into the crook of your neck threw you off.
You leaned in wrapping your arms around his torso muffling a quick “I like you”.
Oh god, what did you do? You really shouldn't havce come tonight.
You felt him sink into your neck even more and muffle a
“I like you too”. 
You could feel it reverberate against your skin. Gojo slowly pulled back, your body warmth suddenly dropped and you were cold but that didn't matter right now. The urge to kiss him was unbearable.
You leaned in a little closer a jolt of shock ran through your nerves and you felt your legs give way, you couldn't stand up properly and slowly fell forward into Gojo's chest.
“Are-e you okay?!?” he said voice shaky as he held you up and spotted a bit of blood trickling down your lips. 
“I can't feel my legs, I think I'm going to pass out-” you gasped at the sharp pain in your throat causing more blood to trickle down your bottom lip.
“It must have been the drink” he swiftly picked you up bridal style (yessss -////-).
Someone had spiked your drink with how knows what and what it and what they planed to do when it came into effect. It had only been 4 minutes out of the 7 so the door was still locked.
“SOMEBODY OPEN THIS UP” Gojo yelled while kicking at the door.
It wouldn't budge and everything around you went fuzzy. Gojo could feel you going limp in his arms and in panic he kicked the closet door one last time with all his strength.
The door flew the hinges and walked out trying to keep you awake and responding. As he carried you down the hallway there were whispers and snickers.
“Hey man, I can take her from here. She just needs to sleep so hand here over and just enjoy the party.” A seemingly drunk dude said.
“I don't think I will, now move.” Barging past the man harshly quickening his pace to his apartment not too far off campus. It must have been the guy, he must have spiked all the drinks.
The moon shone and your breath slowed down along with your heart rate, everything was foggy but you tried your best to stay awake as you clung onto Gojo’s shirt. 
“Hang in there” He said as he unlocked the door and sat you on his kitchen counter. You were struggling to sit up straight and not fall over while clinging on to the edge of the counter.
the sounds of quick opening and closing of the draws and cupboards filled the room. The tap was on and there were stirring sounds, it was safe to say you had no idea what was going on and your dazed state wasn't helping. 
“Drink this.” he held the cup up to your lips and you drank it, you were too weak to even refuse. Not that you wanted to anyway.
You drank it all and your head leaned into Gojo's back as he placed the cup down on the opposite counter.
You wrapped your arms around him and mumbled a ‘Thanks’ he turned around carefully holding your face in his hands. The blood coming from your lip had dried, he leaned in closer to your face.#
Was it wrong to kiss you now? You were still dazed, but he couldn't help it when you leaned in your head closer and said
“It’s okay” while your vision slowly flooded back, thank goodness that Gojo took notes and remembered the lectures in chemistry with you when you both did the assignment.
Leaning in Gojo looks past you out to the window outside, it began sprinkling and you were in no way in any shape or form, able to walk back to campus in the weather soon to come.
He was so absorbed with his thoughts that he failed to notice his lips brush up against yours.
His eyes widened but when you did pull away he went straight in for it your arms around his neck lazily hanging off his shoulders as one hand supported you back and his other holding the back of your head gently. He slowly pulled back and watched your eyes flutter open, the sight made his heart skip.
“You don't think you'll regret this?” Gojo said with his attention all on you pending for your answer.
“Best first kiss of my life” you smiled at him before pulling him in again by his collar.
THANKS FOR READING ♡
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AUTHORS NOTE: This was very self indulgent. Not my best work but I'll post it just for fun. I haven't written a Gojo fic yet so this isnt totaly great but its an okay start ig. Reblogs r welcomed and thanks for reading.
EDIT: When people ask what my greatest accomplishment is, it's 100% the fact that ponderingmoonlight liked my fic. No hesitation.
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gamerwoman3d · 5 months
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◜I Need Attention◞
▸ includes: sub-zero [mk1 versions] ◂
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Reminder: You CAN use my Mortal Kombat 1 footage for your fanworks! [Icons, fanart, whatever is legal.]
SUB-ZERO
I don't imagine him watching TV often, but when he does it's probably work related. I imagine him watching MMA tournaments and studying other martial arts matches/competitions that happen in parts of the world he can't get to. And I imagine when he's watching a live match, nothing can tear his focus off the combatants. But for a ready lady lover who needs attention, I imagine he would multitask like this -
[Spicy/Explicit after the cut 🔞]
Maybe it's late and you're already in bed together. You can't dictate the schedules of tournaments on the other side of the planet so who knows what time he wakes himself to turn on the TV. Maybe the groans and shouts of the competitors plays softly from the speakers, invading your subconscious before waking you. Or perhaps he has headphones, but reflexively hisses and groans out an "ooh" or "ouch" in sympathy for a wounded contestant. Maybe the audio that awakens you is a mixture of fighter groans and Bi-han's muttering, "should guard your left... your other left, idiot. Mmmm you got lucky."
Either way, imagine waking naked beneath a blanket to the vision of him sitting up in bed, the light of the TV casting a glow over his naked torso. Imagine you get to purr and touch him. Maybe you plant little kisses on his side and tell him you were dreaming about him. Maybe he glances at you and murmurs an apology for waking you from your dream as he pets your hair and draws you against him before he returns his focus to the match.
His hand probably feels good in your hair. He probably smells good and sounds good when he asks about your dream. You see him still focused on the match. You tell him he was licking you in your dream. He grunts absently. You nip him and he doesn't break his gaze from the TV.
But you need attention.
You're horny, you tell him. He tells you there are only a few fights left. Whatever, you're horny and you're horny right now. You tell him you want to masturbate if he's not going to play. You ask if that's okay. He thinks about it a second and says it's fine. Turn up the volume, you tell him.
You play with yourself. Tickling your clit feels better when he's next to you, even if he's not paying attention. He hears you whimper. He turns his head an inch towards you with his eyes locked on the screen. As soon as he can safely spare a glance your way, he looks down at your hand on your pussy for a fraction of a second. His own hand darts down, covers yours. He feels how you play with yourself, then pushes your hand out of the way and takes over. You hold his arm with your wet hand and bury your face in his side, panting. You work your hips and press your clit into his fingertips.
His little strokes are steady, and on the mark. It feels good. Over time it feels better and there can be sudden washes of sensitivity and pleasure in which you find yourself, not cumming, but worked up enough that you're shuddering and whimpering louder - but the second your voice breaks into anything louder than a whisper, the second you sob, his fingers hesitate on you and he peeks at your face. He slows down, goes lighter, selfishly saving you for himself for the end of the match.
The edging can blind you and you can beg him to do it harder or wait patiently for someone to win the fight, content in his arms, content with his steady strokes on your wet, swollen clit. You're too blissed out to know what's happening in the fight or how long you have to wait. You assume you have to wait longer and are surprised by the intensity of the sudden unexpected kiss.
He practically dives on top of you and starts to curl your legs up around him. Did the fights end, you wonder aloud. He tells you it was a quick KO and not to worry about the fight, he knows its over.
All of his attention is on you, as if all of his attention was on your soaking wet, slick pussy the entire time. As if he couldn't wait to cum inside. As if he couldn't wait to make you tell him all about your little wet dream of him while he slides his slick cock back and forth over your swollen clit to lubricate himself in your juices. As if he didn't just edge you so much that you can no longer respond to him in complete sentences without moaning incoherent pleas for him to rail you. You lift your pussy, press the lips against his balls, and let the pink winking folds speak on your behalf, begging him for a mercy that he cannot resist granting you.
[Need more MK1 smut? Check the pin 📌]
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When in Rome...
Lately I've been rotating the Rome scene in my mind like a rotisserie chicken. It's a very short one -exactly 1 minute of screen time- and yet it feels pivotal in showing the evolution of Aziraphale's and Crowley's relationship. It also includes some interesting references, and it just feels... different from the other flashbacks.
I've been thinking about it so much that I had to go back and rewatch the flashbacks leading up to it. Take my hand (take my whole life too) as I take you on a journey...
3004 B.C. - Mesopotamia
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Aziraphale is the one breaking the news to Crowley: God, displeased with the humans, is going to wipe them out with a flood of catastrophical proportions. But fret not! He immediately downplays it: it's probably just the locals. And Noah's family and the animals on the ark are going to be fine. And then God will give them a "rain-bow"! Whatever that is, it's the promise it won't happen ever again.
That... doesn't sit too well with Crowley. "Not the kids! You can't kill kids!" he points out (does he mean human kids or goat kids? Probably both), and he scoffs at the rain-bow thing.
But quick comes Aziraphale's rebuttal:
You can't judge the Almighty, Crowley!
... perhaps too quick, like a line he's been fed and he internalized. Like he's subconsciously trying to justify God's actions to himself, more than to Crowley.
As it starts to rain, the crowd around them stands unaware of their own imminent fate.
2500 B.C. - The Land of Uz
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Aziraphale learns, very much to his disbelief, that despite Job being a good man, his fate has been determined by a bet between God and Satan.
Here, he gets both to see Job's despair first-hand, and to exercise his own free will.
He teams up with the "enemy"; he lies to Gabriel; he gets a taste of self-agency and a taste of the oxrib (aka worldly pleasures). He gets to do the right thing and save the kids (human and goats alike), learning in the process that his and Crowley's conditions are not too dissimilar: they both feel lonely.
By the end of it, Aziraphale is sure he will get punished by God.
And then... nothing happens.
33 A.D. - Golgotha
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Aziraphale and Crowley witness the crucifixion of Jesus.
"Your lot put him on there." "I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crowley."
Unlike with Job, Aziraphale has no say and no power to stop what's happening. Despite that (and in contrast to the flood scene) he empathizes with Jesus: asking if Crowley knew him; recoiling as he watches him being nailed to the cross; acknowledging that all it took was him saying "be kind to each other".
Notice how the events shown in the flashbacks get progressively close and personal.
From the undefined crowd at the flood, to Job and his family, to this "very bright young man": yes, God has honoured the promise to not wipe humanity out ever again; that doesn't make the smiting/destruction/suffering any less painful and unjust.
There doesn't seem to be any logic, nor compassion, to God's decisions. There doesn't seem to be any immediate consequence, too, to going against them (if you're clever enough about it). I think that -as much as Aziraphale wants to keep believing in God's ineffable plan- he must feel, in some capacity, that it's all rather... pointless.
I think that here, in front of the grueling, graphic death of a single man, Aziraphale's moral journey reaches its (first?) breaking point.
In fact, where do we find him next?
"8 years later" (41 A.D.) - Rome
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Aziraphale and Crowley meet again very shortly after - relatively speaking, at least (even the scene's title card highlights that: just "8 years later".)
This time around, there's no grand event happening: it's seemingly by chance, they run into each other in a tavern. Well, Crowley is there for "a quick temptation", which is not out of order considering the setting: Caligula's Rome, *the* time and place for decadence and dissolution. And Aziraphale?
He's just... there.
Well, in a scrapped scene from the script book he said he was there to "influence a boy named Nero, get him interested in music". But that didn't make it on screen - though maybe it's still relevant, as you'll see in a moment.
Thing is, he's been there for a while. Unlike Crowley with his odd-looking attire, Aziraphale blends in with the locals and with their customs: wearing a rather pretty tunic; toasting with a "salutaria"; playing a Roman board game by himself. Drinking wine and planning to check out "a new restaurant".
...if he's even talking about an actual restaurant, that is. It's all in this post (check out the comment section too) - but to sum it up: the first thing Aziraphale does is inviting Crowley out (actually, tempting him!) to try "Petronius' new restaurant". Petronius, the notorious "master of elegance" at Nero's court. And by "master of elegance", we mean he was in charge of everything concerning luxury, aka making the court's parties as lavish as possible. Petronius, who was described as a hedonist and an excess seeker. Aziraphale has heard "he does remarkable things to oysters". If that doesn't sound like tongue-in-cheek for some pleasure other than just food, I don't know what does.
In short, it looks like Aziraphale is on vacation, and a rather enjoyable one.
I think he's had about four thousand years to let everything sink in: where Heaven and Hell stand, God's plans and what they mean to humanity (and I'm not even considering what we didn't see: the first war, or Sodom and Gomorrah, or any other horror he might have witnessed).
I think that after Jesus' crucifixion, he was like: fuck it, where can I take a break from all this? Where's *the* place I can most indulge in... being as much human as I can get to be?
And of course he ended up right there. And as the saying goes... when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
I think Aziraphale is having his hot girl summer, and not even God knows what he's been up to.
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lime-bloods · 8 months
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Homestuck's Gnosticism: The World / The Wheel
Everyone knows Homestuck is "a Gnostic story".
Wait, why does it feel like we've had this exact conversation before...?
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AH. SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME.
If you followed along with the first post in this series, you'll be familiar already with the Gnostic nature of Homestuck's central conflict between the spirit world and the flesh. And even if I say so myself, I think that post is pretty definitive; if you're ever unsure what a particular character's motivations or end goal are, the Conflict will tell you. But what's conspicuously absent from the post is any explanation of what actually happens in Homestuck. We've covered the why, but very little of the how.
I left us off on the "synonymous goals" that spring naturally from this conflict between flesh and spirit; attaining ultimate knowledge, and escaping the confines of Homestuck itself. Eagle-eyed readers probably spotted what was lying between the lines, there: the comic is called Homestuck because it's about being stuck in a house, so the ending is about escaping the house. But what does that really look like? And how did they get in that house in the first place?
Let's return very briefly to a quote I used in the previous post. "[Y]our ultimate self [...] unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal". Two assumptions naturally grow out of this fact. First, and probably most obvious: when John dies, he's not really gone. The idea of him still exists out there, somewhere, and in our minds, so he still exists. Second, though: if the idea of him is eternal, John obviously didn't start existing when he was born. So again we ask, where did he come from?
How did John get here? Where does he go? The answers to these questions are like the four sides of one hypercoin, in that Homestuck is a time loop... of a sort.
To begin to understand this, we need to reiterate what was basically "the point" of the first post: Homestuck operates on two distinct levels, a spiritual plane consisting purely of ideas, and a "literal" physical dimension. What happens on these two planes often mirrors each other, and because Homestuck itself is a work of fiction which operates in the realm of ideas, they can even intersect. But ultimately, what "literally" happens to the characters in Homestuck is not the same as the ideas the comic is expressing in its spiritual metanarrative.
The fact that a physical time loop is impossible is something Homestuck inherits from real-life physics: to put it simply, John being born can't be the physical John from the end of his timeline, because that John would be way too old to be a baby! But ideological time loops are not only something sanctioned by Paradox Space, but essential to its very being; they are where it gets its name, after all! To repeat another lynchpin quote from the comic: there is essentially nothing new in paradox space. Any idea that seems new necessarily must have just come from somewhere else.
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"SbaHJ has the distinction of being the symbolic language of [Dave's] subconscious." (Homestuck: Book 3: Act 4, p. 282)
Frequently we see this expressed in the rooms representing characters' dreams, which, as discussed, sort of transcend the character's physical form and represent the broad ideas that characters are made of. Dave's dreams (pictured above) are covered with drawings of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, characters he seemingly invented as a child after being inspired by a drawing Terezi sent to him. But Terezi's drawing was based on Dave's own illustrations she saw later on in his timeline; so which of them truly "invented" Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff? Neither of them did; SBaHJ exists as pure subconscious ideological matter floating through Paradox Space, only sometimes being picked up by a character's conscious mind. Similarly, Gamzee tries to manipulate this subconscious realm when he uses his psychic powers to place a terrifying effigy of Jack Noir in John's dreams, as punishment for the destruction of the trolls' session. But as we know, Jack Noir only took that form because of the nightmares this doll caused! So again; neither John or Gamzee thought up the demonic clown "first". It existed in the realm of ideas before either of them ever had the chance to invent it.
These kinds of ideological loops are the bread-and-butter of jujus. We're told their origins are untraceable and that they can't be destroyed, but neither of these things is really true; these superstitions exist only to obfuscate the true rule that jujus "emerge spontaneoUsly from the void." Rather than be erased from existence, a juju can only be banished to that same void of nonexistence where disembodied ideas live, and then pulled back into the world of dreams by a prospective psychic.
With these rules established, now we can really delve into with appreciation the ideological time loop that underpins all of Homestuck. And like all good time loops, the best place to start is at the end.
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ACT 7 (Are you tired of seeing it yet?)
Let's not insult anyone's intelligences here: you know and I know that Caliborn's little house juju looks like the Homestuck logo because it is Homestuck; when he wins it from Yaldabaoth, he takes control of it, and when he sucks the heroes inside, he's trapping them in the confines of his material world.
What's essential to keep in mind here, though, is that the power of a juju is the power of the idea itself. It's easiest for us to think of the word juju in Homestuck as a concrete noun, referring simply to a magical object. But the word's real-life origins, referring more abstractly to magic or enchantment, are still relevant in this fictional framework. Lil Cal isn't just "a juju", but is "FILLED WITH BAD JUJU." Magic in Homestuck has always really been about the idea that believing in something can make it real, and the purpose of all Homestuck's dealings with chucklevoodoos and jujus is to evoke the anthropological concept of the "fetish"; an item whose power comes from human beings ascribing supernatural qualities to it. Jujus are all part of the "game" the cherubs play, with all its rules and quirks; breaking an enchantment is like breaking a rule, in that it changes nothing about the real world: you've just infringed upon an idea. The juju isn't the object; the juju is the power, good or bad, ascribed to the object.
All of this is really just to say one thing: Caliborn's home juju can't trap the flesh versions of John and his friends; as we established, you can't send old John back in time to become young John. But what a juju can trap is something far more important; the ideas of John and his friends. This is why it doesn't matter if the heroes who travel back to the beginning of everything to beat Lord English while he's still a kid are the "main" timeline versions of those heroes from some point in the future, or if the Epilogues' version of events is truth and they're some "irrelevant" offshoots: because all of those characters are represented by the same idea, and that's what Caliborn puts in the box. No matter what timeline John is from, he's from Homestuck, to Homestuck he must return, and as such Homestuck is what he must be forced to escape. Refer again back to the previous post: Caliborn can't create or destroy, only take pure ideas and alchemise them down into a form he can control.
And that's why Act 7 so enigmatically features two different white home-doors (above), seemingly so interconnected yet effectually unrelated. Because Act 7 takes up the hefty role of concluding two storylines simultaneously: allowing the "real", flesh-world versions of John and his friends to escape Lord English's reality through one door, while also concluding Homestuck's metanarrative by setting the ideas of John and his friends free of their prison through another door.
So far, most of this is probably stuff you'd have either figured out on your own or at least heard from someone else already. And if we set aside such distractions as run-ins with radioactive imps and omnipotent dog-gods, the "whats" and "hows" of the heroes' story are probably the easier parts of Homestuck to figure out. What's more difficult to fully comprehend on a first pass is how Lord English himself fits into all of this.
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If you've been following me for any stretch of time, you'll notice in my analysis of Homestuck I've returned to the topic of black holes frequently. I've lost track of how many versions I've published of what I call "Black Hole Theory". And I won't link to any of them here, because ultimately Black Hole Theory was a corkboard to which I could pin the evidence that would eventually, piece by piece, lead us to where we are right now:
If the home juju is a white "hole" leading out of the confines of Homestuck as a story, then black holes are the doors that lead back in. An early clue to this comes in the form of Calliope's stage in the heart of a spiral: these spirals are Calliope's visions of black holes, which she uses as "dark pocket[s]" from which "no information can escape" - a literal description of a black hole - and that stage is the very same one Caliborn stages his story on when he takes full control of Homestuck's narrative. The meaning here should be clear: Calliope creates black holes, and it's the center of these black holes where stories can take place.
But for all the evidence we need to suggest that Lord English's fall into a black hole leads to something more complex than just his destruction, we need not look further than conventional science:
In the quantum world [...] information cannot be created nor destroyed.
Lisa Zyga, on the conservation of quantum information.
This rule that "ideas" are truly immortal, and that any time an idea seems to be destroyed it must have merely been transported somewhere else, holds true even in the scientific world of black hole physics. This has been played with in MS Paint Adventures before; theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking's take on black holes was that some stuff could in fact escape a black hole, contrary to Calliope's assertions, in the form of Hawking radiation. But Hussie's own version of the story was always a lot more to the point: something gets sucked into the center of a black hole, it gets shot out somewhere else. In hypothetical physics this is called a white hole - no doubt you can see where this is going.
So Lord English's final moments in Homestuck see him not destroyed, or killed, or defeated in combat in any traditional way, but sucked right back into Homestuck. What exactly does that mean?
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Homestuck, p. 8105
As long as we're talking the power of ideas and symbols, possibly the most blatant a symbol can get is in the form of a gesture; and the thumbs-down is possibly one of the most ancient gestures there is. Dave gets one, Tavros gets one, and, so they say, even the Roman gladiators got them. This precedent makes the meaning of the gesture clear: "you're going down." And it makes sense, too, that Hussie, the "good author", would signal the "evil author's" demise in such a way. But some might question the effectiveness of the power of gesture at such a pivotal point in the comic. Are we really to believe that English's defeat was, even in part, the result of another author merely willing him away like a tyrant doing away with an entertainer who has fallen out of favour? Or did the Hussie-character actually have some kind of plan to deal with his Hulk-like alter ego?
Of course he did.
...now Caliborn has hijacked the property of his experiential continuum which he has reason to believe is called "the narrative". Little does he know you recently made the shrewd decision to purchase(?) the ACT 6 ACT 6 SUPERCARTRIDGE EXPANSION PACK! Just plug it into any in-universe console port to unlock a variety of exciting new gameplay features and proceed through remaining canon unfettered, while Caliborn muddles through six new sub-sub-acts of infantile "subversive parody" targeting the very tale he inhabits, none the wiser!
To allow our heroes the chance escape their narrative prison, English isn't just to be trapped in their old cell; it's to be trapped within an infinitely-recursing cell, not just reliving one story over and over again but forced to live out infinitely many different stories. Not just a narrative loop; a narrative spiral. That's what being sucked into the black hole means for Lord English.
When Roxy - the Hero of Void whose very symbol is that of the black hole - banishes Caliborn-as-Cal into the void, he becomes one of the very wandering ideas with which English plays like dolls. "Instances of [Doc Scratch] have spawned in countless universes", and they have "never once failed to complete [their] objective": whether he wants to or not, Lord English will always be born again. In a new universe, perhaps, maybe even in a different shape, but his role always the same. Caliborn thinks that by filling the supercartridge with special stardust and corrupting the story, he's won, but looking at the bigger picture the truth is clear: he's only playing by somebody else's rules.
Just as Skaia uses lotus "seeds" to store items away for later use, and employs meteors as "Seeds" to send important elements back in time to set up the beginnings of new stories, so too are English's cue ball "seeds" only a means of transporting his essence from one place to the other; the black hole and the Rapture are, after all, only Skaia and the Reckoning sized up to a truly macrocosmic scale. The cue ball is able to be a font of endless knowledge because it is the "white hole" at the other end of the black hole! No information can escape a black hole, and therefore there is no information that escapes Scratch's attention -- he is limited only by his "pockets of void", which exist only to, in time, be filled, as more and more falls into these black holes like a multiversal game of billiards. Not only is this a transparent allusion to one of the most fundamental representations of the paradoxical time loop as a concept, but it is also the ultimate insult to injury: despite having lived an infinite number of lives, and being cursed to live out an infinite number more, Lord English cannot know what his fate will be until he literally falls into it. This is what forces him to lose, over and over again for eternity, while our heroes triumphantly escape Homestuck onto greener pastures.
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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months
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Sending this because I think Tumblr might’ve eaten it, but did you ever receive a request for the TADC crew with a small, but EXTREMELY feisty S/O? Tumblr has a bad habit of eating my asks when I’m on anon I’ve found. 😭
TADC crew w/ a short and feisty reader!
hello hello anon! im so so so sorry for not seeing this sooner :( i truly did not mean to take so long to answer this! rechecking through my inbox, i dont see the original request :( but ill be answering it here so not to worry! getting silly by hopping onto my laptop/computer since its in the dining room rn and this way i can keep an eye on my macarons (literally not baking them, drying them out before i do and i wanna make sure no one touches them)
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CAINE:
honestly in the most blunt way possible i think he might actually be into it. he always liked him someone who has a little bite in them (and by always he means like, when he first met you because its highly likely youre his first partner)
if you get all riled up trying to defend him he might comically tug on the collar of his shirt, of which steam will stream out of... doesnt have much of a preference for height, but with you being on the shorter side it makes carrying you around a little less awkward!
POMNI:
absolutely taken aback when you just let it rip one day and you go off on someone (most likely jax lets all be real here for a minute), just stands there appalled before you eventually calm yourself down and turn your attention to her
not to yell at her, she hasnt done anything wrong
honestly... nervous anxious ball x angry defender is probably another trope of mine that i think about every so often, but honestly i love it so so much. thats literally just the embodiment of you and pomni's dynamic
not much to say here unfortunately </3 just that you tend to defend her when things get ugly and you dont tend to stop until the issue is resolved
RAGATHA:
honestly maybe im biased for ragatha because ive grown on her since ive opened requests, but i think that she would be the queen of getting you to chill out when something has you all riled up! is so so kind and doesnt make fun of your height, i mean its not like you or anyone can change it. very good at not making you feel less than for being shorter than nearly everyone else
holds
if you get angry on her behalf and attempt to defend her she would be so so touched, but really most things probably roll right off her back, so she just takes you and walks you away from the scene
JAX:
honestly he thinks its a little funny that you get so worked up over things! probably calls you an ankle biter as a joke, which might make you a little mad. definitely picks you up by the scruff or the back of your shirt or whatever! really any equivalent of that works! jax has an entire arsenal of nicknames for you, all based on your height and energy. he loves seeing the way your face scrunches up a little in disdain when he calls you one of those names. all in good fun, for the most part, but he might let up if its something that makes you genuinely upset...
KINGER:
okokokokok so we dont know anything about queenie (i think, i must admit i dont keep up with gooseworx at all and am only relying off of the pilot) but i hc her to also be more on the feisty side
is this relevant? really it depends, because i think kinger would be comforted by the familiarity of your attitude, but also this could be a gateway for angst because it makes him think and dwell on the loss of queenie.... up to you!
subconsciously kneels down to your height to talk to you; he doesnt mean to be rude! it just sort of happens! thinks your fierceness is endearing in its own silly way!
ZOOBLE:
probably thinks that you can get a little overwhelming sometimes. i mean yeah sure its nice to have someone in your corner whos ready to help you out but zooble seems to be the type to not seek that help out; and in fact i can easily see them getting annoyed by someone constantly speaking for them. so you guys are going to need to communicate and work on this together lest there be a build of resentment
remember guys resentment is a real thing and it can ruin so much !! communicate!!!
that aside, i dont think they would comment much on your height, they really could not give less of a flying fuck
GANGLE:
torn between having her be intimidated by you or having her also find it endearing (and perhaps even attractive? shy person liking the one who always speaks their mind, you know?) while im not writing these to be explicitly romantic, i dont quite totally comfy with the idea of intimidation in a relationship.. though this can be applied to platonic relationships too... hmm... mayhaps a mix of it all? not quite sure! probably goes to you for tips to be more bold, love the idea of someone teaching gangle to grow a backbone
similar to zooble, no comments on your height!
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tangledinlove · 2 months
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i'm just thinking abt killer and luke and them only acknowledging their feelings for each other (if at all) on a very DEEP almost subconscious level and how that might clash with events in real time. like one day chris is sitting with the two of you and offhandedly brings up how some girl in the apollo cabin is taking a particular interest in luke and she's just too shy to say smth. i wonder how killer would feel specifically bc i can see luke just dismissing it or smth but killer would be like "wait that's a great idea you should ask her out" and doesn't understand why her heart feels like it's being ripped out of her chest
anon i could kiss u btw. sorry i took so long to answer rhis but like YOU GET THEM.
book percy literally says “I was used to hearing from the girls how good-looking Luke was” and we all know how pretty tv luke is so its obvious this man is pulling!!!!!! so lukes big group of admirers is definitely real but neither of u really care bc you just Know he would never get with someone else like that. and also like why would u worry about him being in a relationship bc ur just platonic friends duh 😊
and i do think since luke and killer have been at chb for so long wveryone just kind of Knows too. its an unspoken thing that new campers learn eventually. like welcome to camp! you’re a demigod! we burn food for the gods! luke and killer are in love with each other!
which is why i imagine this camper to be someone new who has no idea about them 😭
(more under the cut because i an crazy)
and so when chris brings it up hes probably kinda joking about it bc like “haha some other girl is thinking of asking luke out” (the ‘as if that would ever happen’ goes unsaid)
and lukes like yeah whatever :) same old same old. but killer is just kinda stunned because woahhh why can she not handle the thought because thats not normal. and shes trying so hard to be fine about it she does what she would do with any other friend and Encourages Him……
shes like gritting her teeth and her stomach is turning when she says “oh shes pretty you should go for it”
and luke and chris are literally silent. 😭😭 chris is like oh….????????? whereas luke is just shocked because oddly enough asking someone out wasnt even a possibility in his mind before she had suggested it.
and after a few awkward seconds he just kind of laughs and pushes her shoulder (way too hard. hes trying to be normal as if he isnt disgusted by the thought) and is like lol yeah sure.
and the two of them never bring it up again! tho it definitely keeps him up at night whenever he sees her talking to another guy because if shes ok with him gettinf with someone else does that mean she’s looking for someone else????? and all in all the conversation haunts him lol. he avoids that other girl for the rest of his life
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bonny-kookoo · 11 months
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Lock Me Up | Short #2
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In which he has to learn that sometimes, you have to decide if what you need is what you want- and if what you want is what you truly need.
Tags/Warnings: Detective Agust D my friends, Criminal Kitty!Reader, hybrid Yoongi, mentions of murder, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, mentions of past abuse, strangers to enemies to I don't even know, sexual tension?, dead dove do not eat
Length: Short
-> Series Masterlist
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He can't breathe.
His chest feels heavy as he tries to process what just happened, one moment of carelessness having led to an absolute disaster like this. It's why he told himself time and time again to not get involved with you, to not grow so comfortable with you- because at the end of the day, that's not his job, and not what he's supposed to be doing.
He can't breathe, and it's making him panic.
With every moment passing you're being taken farther and farther away from him to God knows where- your heat probably making you an even more vulnerable victim in your position. He doesn't want to imagine what might happen to you like this, doesn't want to paint out the horrors that might happen as a result of his own stupidity.
How could he have been so careless? He never ordered food at this place, so why did he-
Wait.
He never ordered food at that place.
The realization washes over him like cold water, sobering him up as his own apartment begins to look strange, and unknown to him. The clock on the wall tells him it's 4 in the evening, but its pitch black night outside. As soon as he glances at it again, it's 2 am. His windows don't show the dirty downtown area he's used to and grown to somewhat adore. They show nothing.
He's dreaming.
So why can't he breathe?
Well, it's not like he can't really breathe- but he struggles to fully extend his lungs, chest feeling trapped as he forces himself to wake up from whatever nightmare he's been having. And the moment his eyes softly open-
A cat ear flicks against his nose, brushing over his lips and making him sneeze.
You just groan annoyed, moving around as you roll off of his chest, instead laying next to him now, legs thrown over his body, and arms trapping his against your chest while your face rests against the side of his shoulder.
Immediately, he turns over to the digital clock on his table, the time showing 10 AM, slightly opened window letting in the noise from the busy streets way down below. Another glance. 10 AM, still.
You're still here.
It was just a dream, probably fueled by his own stress building up these days with you in his home, and flavored by the scent of you, subconsciously making him protective.
It's just stupid hybrid things, he tells himself, taking a deep breath.
Though he also, for some reason, can't bring himself to push you away, even if he's not sure in general why you're in his bed in the first place.
He somewhat understood your need of holding his hand at night- after all, you're emotionally and physically vulnerable right now and in need of reassurance and comfort. You stretch, after some time, legs leaving his body, finally giving him enough control back to his own body so he can sit up and adjust his neck properly. "You're up!" You squeak with a raspy sleep-voice, rubbing your eyes next to him. "You kept.. mumblin' in your sleep. Smelt scared, so I tried to wake you up-" You yawn, rolling onto your back, enjoying the better comfort of his bed compared to your inflatable mattress. "But man, you're sleeping like you're dead." You giggle, eyes closing again.
Thank god they do, because he's busy holding his face in his head, mildly embarrassed by what must've happened. He's supposed to protect you, not be comforted because he has childish nightmares.
He gets up quietly without saying anything,
And while he showers, you get up too, to maybe cause some mischief again to push his mind away from his nightmare- whatever it might've been about.
It must've been something terrifying to make him scared like that.
You'd noticed it in the middle of the night- you'd let go of his hand to turn around, and sometime later, he'd suddenly become all tensed up and agitated in his sleep. And while at first, when he said your name in his sleep, you'd thought it must just be your smell considering you're in heat- but that wasn't it.
It was fear, pretty clearly so.
You'd tried to wake him, you really did. From slapping his face, (gently, of course), to shaking him and calling out to him- even yelling his name! But it seemed to only make it worse, so you just did what any other hybrid would do with whomever they cared about.
Try and reassure.
You kind of want to know what was wrong last night- but you also know that he probably won't give you an answer anyways.
The moment you're trying to decide where to hide so you can spook him maybe and get rid of this stuffy atmosphere, he returns from the bathroom, hair slightly damp. It's disappointing to you- more than you'd like to admit- because now he doesn't have any trace of your smell on himself any longer.
"What's the face for?" He chuckles as if nothing is wrong, walking towards the small kitchen to open the top shelf- presumably to make breakfast for you.
You wanna argue with him why your face would look like that- but you suddenly have other ideas.
"-wha-?" He questions when you hug him from behind, rubbing your cheek on his white shirt on his back, stubbornly scenting him. "Come here, let's get you your morning meds.." he sighs, trying to justify your behavior on your medication wearing off. You don't let go of hum even when he moves to grab a glass and water though, making it a little difficult for him-
Mainly not because of you, but because of the effect you have on him. There's a teeny tiny thought sparking in his brain that asks him if he just.. shouldn't give them to you. The side-effects are bad, its not at all a good way to handle it, and would it really be so bad if he was to give into you?
He knows you've started to like him. It's not hard to see.
So, does he like you?
"Hey, Detective?" You ask, and he hums a reply as he prepares your medication for you, pouring a glass of water. "I'm sorry I slept in your bed." You mumble, detaching yourself from him.
"..s' okay." He just shrugs off, as he watches you jump up to sit on the kitchen counter. "Sorry about that." He apologizes, and you swing your legs, heels hitting the cabinets below.
"Did I kill you in your dream?" You ask, and his hand stills, before he looks at you with furrowed brows.
"No?" He somewhat asks. "Why?"
"Cause you were saying my name." You tell him, and his eyes widen. "And when I said yours, I just made it worse." You shrug, and he swallows hard.
"I- no." He just denies. "It was just stress, probably. Don't worry about it- here." He moves the glass of water and medication closer to you, and you take them with ease.
"So I can sleep in your bed again?" You ask, and he chokes on an almond he'd snacked on while making coffee, before he looks at you, who just imposhly smirks. "Come oon~! You enjoyed cuddling, admit it!" You tell him, and he just shakes his head, smiling to himself. "Hah! Look at you grinning!" You point at him in triumph. "Just wait- I'm gonna renovate that stone cold heart of yours and build my home in there.!" You cross your arms, nodding to yourself in determination.
"Bold of you to assume there's no spare room for you in there already." He simply tells you, walking past with his coffee-
Leaving you completely puzzled and red-faced.
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He's saying your name in his sleep again.
This time you react differently though- grabbing a glass of water to hit his face with, and he actually wakes up this time, sitting upright as he wipes the moisture off his face. "What the fuck?!" He calls out, and you giggle.
"You were dreaming again." You say, and he groans into his hands. This is absolutely humiliating. "Maybe you should go on meds too." You joke.
"Yeah maybe, honestly." He shakes his head.
"Hey, its cool. You're just a sensitive one to those things, I get it." You say, putting the empty glass on the bedside table before you sit down on the edge of his bed.
"I'm not." He sighs. "Really. Usually, I'm not. It doesn't bother me at all." He explains, looking at your lap where your hands are.
"Ooh, so I'm special, eh?" You wiggle your ears, and he does something that really catches you off guard.
He reaches out to swat at them, a playful glint in his eyes- completely untypical for the usually stoic detective.
You get into a hallway squatting position at that, staring him down with squinted eyes. "Who are you and what did you to with Detective old-guy?" You ask suspiciously, and he clicks his tongue at that.
"Stop calling me old, we're not even that far apart in age.!" He complains, laying back down after turning his pillow over to the dry side upwards. "Now go to bed." He waves off.
And you decide to test your luck, squeezing between the wall and his back, unmoving.
"Really now?" He asks almost annoyed, before pulling on the blankets you're laying on- showing off more strength you would've thought he had as he easily pulls them from under your body with one arm. "At least get under the covers, or you'll catch a cold or something." He mumbles-
A.. yoongi-way of inviting you to sleep in his bed, you decide.
So you crawl closer to him underneath the blankets- as he quietly turns onto his back so you can lay your head on his shoulder, just how you did the night before.
And this time, he doesn't dream of anything at all- no night terrors haunting him this time, until he awakens the next morning to you chasing a house fly around, knocking over the glass you'd placed on his bedside table.
And he can't even bring himself to be annoyed any longer.
Maybe Seokjin was right.
Maybe he should think about what he himself wants for once.
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hobiebrownismygod · 2 months
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Hobie getting angry headcanons
Based off of @hei-chans post <3 check them out they're cool
tw: these are mostly him with my Sona (Maitreyi 🥰)
he doesn't get angry often he's a pretty chill guy and fairly nonviolent
except the moment he gets pushed over the edge his whole demeanor changes and he can go berserk
now before you get mad at me for saying that just think about it
he's spider-man and obviously gonna be fairly stressed considering how he's completely by himself trying to take down Osborne's regime in his universe
and he's pretty okay with violence in his comics (he gets drunk before fights too)
so when he gets angry I like to think he gets angry
its like that silent anger where he's just seething and glaring at the person who did whatever they did
the kind of glare that makes you cower and squirm and subconsciously feel guilty even if you didn't do anything
things that make him mad are usually people being stupid, as in being really brash and overconfident about something and not being openminded about other opinions
trying to tell someone what to do when they didn't ask
putting other people down for not knowing something
or any vulgar comments about a person's appearance or personality
they all give him the ick and he immediately goes into anger mode when it happens
examples:
when Maitreyi came to his universe for the first time he took her to his favorite pub and one of his friends started talking to her like she was stupid, mansplaining, making fun of her accent, her clothes, whatever, and hobie got so mad that he kicked the guy out and never spoke to him again
he's a huge feminist so if anyone ever tries to mansplain something to her he'll never talk to them again (but he let's her handle herself in those situations cuz he knows she can)
another example is when somebody tried to hit on gwen while she was staying at his place in her universe and didn't stop even after she got uncomfortable so hobie literally kicked his ass and bought his drummer ice cream to make up for it
pavitr gets bullied sometimes in his universe by people who make fun of his accent and clothes (he's from a small town so he has a different accent than the others in Mumbattan) so hobie pulled a kdrama move, pulled his mask on and absolutely beat their asses (they never bothered pavi again <3)
like I said he doesn't get angry often but when someone goes too far he makes sure they know it
whether its by beating their ass or cutting them off
and once you get on his bad side its hard to come back from that
its hard to make him dislike you but once he does he probably won't like you again
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congrats on getting this far down have a hobie
@daydreaming-en-pointe I thought you'd like these also @spidey-bie I wonder how he'd act if someone was being rude to ansi? would he get mad or would he let them handle it? im curious
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