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graceofagodswrath · 2 years

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Humans Are Feral

Alright, this my first post, and possibly a part one in a series of humans are feral story arcs. As well as being something that I constantly think about and wonder why no one talks about it. Maybe I just haven’t found the specific post.

Have we ever talked about how vicious humans can be? Especially in scenarios where something we care about it threatened? And I mean “bared teeth and snarling” type vicious. Beast mode activated. I’m talking about how we basically turn into animals in certain situations and rely solely on primal instinct.

Take mothers/fathers for example. You ever see a parent react to a situation in which their child was dancing with death? They will risk life and limb for that kid. My dad dove into a pool full speed after my two year old sister fell in the deep end. Clothes and all. Have you ever seen a woman after just giving birth and her mind is just straight hormones? And something happens that she perceives a threat? Someone picks up the newborn without consent, she jumps out of bed after a fucking cesarian to snatch the kid and full on snarl at them? Friend’s aunt did that shit. And don’t get me started on the super strength thing humans can do when someone is in danger and adrenaline kicks in. Then there are the people who will protect some random ass kid. A toddler or small kid with no parent around and suddenly something dangerous is about to happen? People will jump in parent or not.

Imagine:

It was a quiet day in the streets of Kuratz. The market paths usually bustling with people of races only had a small stream of customers bouncing from stall to stall. Tourists or natives of all sorts. Ky’lio, a young Avalanghar, watched from his mia’s stall, long ears swiveling this way and that to pick up on what conversations he could understand.

Then they caught his eye. The strangers you’d never see in such a place. Humans. What looked like a family unit. Ky’lio couldn’t help but lean forward to stare. He recognized the tallest as a male and the slightly shorter one a female, as he had watched some interactions between his mia and her human customers. But those humans were always soldiers or neighboring colonists. These humans were different.

There was a third party. Ky’lio had never seen a human child except for the few pictures shared from other humans. It was notoriously well-known that humans were extremely protective of their younglings, so few were seen away from human colonies. So the small, bouncing creature Ky’lio watched tug on the adult humans’ paws didn’t register as a baby human until he really stared and saw the round features.

It kept trying to dart away from its parents, but the adults held vice-like grips onto the little one’s paws. Until the stopped at a stall, Hadi Midas’s stall selling sweet fruits from the Dolor Jungles. The male let the little human go and the female took hold of the little one’s free paw. But the wild thing tugged and cried out, like a prisoner chained to a wall. It wailed and cried out in its native tongue, no doubt begging for release from its mia’s iron laws. The scene reminded Ky’lio of when he saw Kaloway serpent at a traveling exotic zoo. It too thrashed and screeched in its chains the same way the little human was. Then the female leaned down and whispered something to the child, making it go limp in her paws, hanging like a dead thing. The female only snorted and turned back towards her mate, who was speaking with Hadi Midas.

What happened next would always remain burned into Ky’lio’s memory. The little human twisted strangely and suddenly they yanked themselves from their Mia’s grip. It screeched triumphantly and dashed away. The female yelled and ran after it, but it was no use. The little human was fast and determined. As it ran down the street it neared the alleyway next to the Damik stall. Ky’lio felt the fur along his spine stand up. The alleyway was a known ambush site for younglings separated from their parents. A human child would be a great prize.

As the human youngling ran past the alleyway, a giant Oyiadin stepped out and grabbed the skinny, hairless arm. The little human screamed, a sound that had every fear feeling surging through Ky’lio’s body. Others in the street turned and stared, but none dared do anything. Oyiadins had a reputation for smuggling and trafficking, their muscular stature, claws and jaws full of sharp fangs scared away any possible help. It wasn’t the first time Ky’lio witnessed a kidnapping and helplessly watched as the kidnapped youngling’s parents shrieked in despair and fear, never daring to fight such beasts. So they would lose their child.

But these were humans. And humans were known for strange, impossible feats. That fact still did not prepare the young Avalanghar to witness the female human slam into the giant Oyiadin, tackling the muscular biped to the ground. The male human swooped in and snatched the small human, now crying and clinging to its parent. The female stood atop the giant, snarling like a wild fangher. Her lips were pulled back to reveal small, white teeth that were nowhere near as intimidating as the Oyiadin’s, yet the expression was somehow more fearsome. She growled something in her native tongue, standing menacingly over the Oyiadin that hadn’t tried to stand up. It’s ugly face was strangely empty of menace, it’s six eyes wide and staring at the human it easily dwarfed. Yet the female held no fear, spitting and snarling, her body tensed for a fight. But the Oyiadin offered no challenge. She spat something in her language once more, then turned and walked to her mate and youngling.

“That is why you must not provoke humans.” Ky’lio jumped, turning to see his mia behind him and watching everything. She looked down at him. “They are dangerous and unpredictable. Especially when they’re protective.” She looked up to watch the trio of humans pass by. “Never underestimate their willingness to fight for their own.”

~~~~~~

Kids are one thing. Then there are pets. I have personally felt the willingness to kill if anyone threatened my dog or cat. That pack bonding stuff is no joke. No, I don’t care if you hear me call my cat a fat, no-rent-paying bastard, he’s my fat no-rent-paying bastard. And I won’t just die for him. I will kill you and cut you up in pieces and summon satan to dine with me on them for that fat bastard.

~~~~~~

Imagine:

Galar was a puvarra, and deserved xis comeuppance. But the crew never expected for their human crew mate to be the one to do it.

Oakley was a good crew mate and most of the team had high opinions of him. He did his work, turned in reports on time, socialized and was overall very kind. The crew was grateful that the human was one that presented the better side of his species. However some were not fond of humans. Galar, the Yunagi from the helix system 1-4b, was one of this opinion. Xe was unabashedly cruel to many on the crew, and only got away with it because xe often blackmailed xis victims to not report to the captain. It was irritating how xe knew certain things. But xe’d finally gone too far.

Oakley had a pet aboard the ship. The creature humans called a cat, a furry thing on four legs that was a master at contortion. While the crew had been hesitant about the creature at first, hearing stories about Terran animals, many grew to like it. Oakley’s cat was named Jambo, a black and white pattern on its fur and a long, skinny tail. It would rub against their legs or jump upon counters to watch them at work. Sometimes it would doze off near them. Only Oakley and Jabari, Oakley’s partner in work, had been selected as thrones for the creature to doze upon. Many on the crew came to feel honored when the creature would approach them and rub its cheek against an outstretched appendage, a sign Oakley had explained to be affection and a demand for “pets.” Jambo got many pets.

Then one day, as the crew drew together in the dining area for a meal, Galar chose his hill to die on. Jambo had approached the tables, padding towards Oakley, but stopping as some crew began making chirping and clicking sounds, trying to intice Jambo toward them for pets. Then Galar walked by, the blue finned Yunagi’s eyes landing on Jambo. And before any could do anything, xe pulled back a long leg and kicked the black and white cat. Jambo let out a loud screech.

Then Galar was flying back and Oakley was screaming in his native language. He wailed on Galar, his fist connecting every time. At one point he tried to choke xim. Several crew jumped upon them, pulling the human way from the Yunagi, but the damage was done. Purple bruises were already evident upon the Yunagi’s blue-green hide, scratches and crescent shaped marks on xis neck were leaking dark blue blood. Nothing serious, but enough to rattle everyone.

Oakley didn’t bother staying to explain to the captain. He immediately left to find his cat, as did some of the others. Many could care less if Galar was injured, because the stupid puvarra deserved it. They worried for Jambo. The cat was later found and inspected. Luckily for Jambo, he had some light bruising. Very lucky. Oakley even cried, the clear wetness on his face a strange sight for many.

When asked by the captain why he attacked Galar, Oakley point-blank said it was because he kicked Jambo. And anyone who dared hurt his cat was going to get hurt themselves. He said it so casually the captain blinked several times. While humans were known for their protectiveness of packmates, this aggression was unexpected. They went on to scold Oakley and told him that they would have to write this on his personal report for future jobs. Oakley only nodded, still unswayed. The captain sighed and dismissed him. They knew they probably should have done more for such heinous action. But unbeknownst to others, the captain was also fond of Jambo. They were the only other person Jambo chose to nap on.

~~~~~~

This was written really fast, so I apologize if the writing is a little scrunched and there are mistakes. It physically hurt to write about a cat getting kicked, I wanted to vomit. Ugh. I wanted to go off on a tangent about humans taking on giant beasts for their kids because wouldn’t we? I personally don’t like kids, but I admit that I’d fight a bear for that one-year old that smiled at me in a Walmart checkout line, then offered me her animal cracker. I mean, wtf. I’ll save that for the next post tho.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are deathworlders #humans are insane #humans are crazy #humans are weird #humans are terrifying #humans are fucking feral if you fuck with a cat #I’m serious I would kill for my cat and I have considered it several times #humans are feral series

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risetherivermoon · 2 months

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smth that kills me everytime, with both how sad it is and how hilarious it is when presented, is the fact that post-methbay glenn is running on the pure intention/motivation of just murdering his dad,

like he doesn't even want to go back home to earth, he admits he's only really going along with the plan so he can find and kill bill, and hes confused when the others say that isn't their intentions as well

even tho he doesn't end up doing it, and bill gets away, at the end of s1 after everyone has their heart felt moments with the mommies, glenn just turns around and is like "OKAY TIME TO KILL MY DAD NOW!" EVEN AFTER the talk with bill during the battle- but bill had already ran away

my thought here is that, like- if that was all he was running off of, and the only reason he got out of prison (tho nick was the only reason he got through prison, which is a different thing entirely) what if he found out bill was already dead when he got out? maybe an au where willy, angered with bill's resistance in the fight before glenns final sentencing, killed him then and there. how would he have reacted? what would he have done? would he just give up entirely and stop functioning?

glenn is incredibly good at hiding and stuffing down his emotions, to a degree that half of the audience of this podcast doesn't even realize he had a character arc, but if you pay attention enough its pretty clear that glenn is hanging on by a single thread and that thread is the pure want for revenge, which makes so much sense with his character in general, and with how erratic and more chaotic he gets post-prison

i just had some thoughts about this...we never really see him snap, because once he's figured out he cant kill bill because hes gone, he has nicky there to kinda nudge him over to go meet morgan, and he already had that talk with the other dads where he talks about wanting to be in nickys life, but what if that slow lead up was taken away?

i adore glenn as a character and his arc is incredibly interesting to me, but i also love thinking of different ways things could have happened, and one of those is post-prison, honestly i might have to write smth with this idea, the thoughts are bouncing around in my brain

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idkwhatimdoingbutslay · 8 months

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… I can’t imagine that we actually watched the same show. Like I REALLY AISNSOSNWKMEJDND

hold on I’m gonna need to calm down.

Let me just make a list of why I disagree and at least organize my anger. Long post incoming.

Vander was friends and had a deal with Grayson. The sheriff. Idk what else to even add to that

Caitlyn is more than a cop and Arcane isn’t copaganda. Genuinely don’t know what kind of progress some of these people are looking for. Real allies are a necessity for real progress.

SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR. HE FUNNELLED DRUGS INTO THE UNDERCITY AND PUT POOR KIDS IN FACTORIES FOR THAT DRUG FOR PROFIT!!! HE PAID THE ENFORCERS TO LET HIM DO IT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE

Vi is not as much as an activist as you would like to believe

WHY IS EKKO NEVER EVER BROUGHT UP IN THESE CONVERSATIONS????

Silco was not good for the Undercity

Silco was not a great guy. Ekko had to build an entire separate hidden community for the people he hurt and stepped on for his own benefit

Caitlyn is ignorant and naive. That’s ok. That’s what character development is for.

Loving imperfect characters like Silco and Jinx then hating characters like Vi and Caitlyn is peak media illiteracy to me

FOR THE LAST TIME: VI DIDNT ABANDON POWDER!!!!! Silco literally wanted Vi DEAD for trying to stop him from killing Vander??? How could you possibly say silco was there for jinx when Vi refused to be???? SHE WAS IN PRISON BECAUSE OF HIM???

Silco’s manipulation is working wonders on y’all

Embracing all the outrage without at all looking out for the people harmed by bigotry is not activism

SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR x929282929394

Caitlyn was the first person in years to show Vi kindness and care. She listened and stuck by her and took care of her after Vi was locked up for years and beat up by cops (i wonder what led her to be thrown in there?). Cait being a cop stopped being a point of contention once Vi recognized her naivety and genuineness.

NUANCE NUANCE NUANCE. ITS NEVER EVER BLACK AND WHITE

The only way I can see Vi touching ‘class traitor’ in season one was the shimmer raid. Guess who the hell put those kids in there in the first place.

Just hanging out with Caitlyn isn’t being a class traitor if Vander’s allowed to be friends with Grayson.

Critical thinking is very necessary for watching shows like Arcane

What the hell did Silco really do for the Undercity???? What changed over the 7(ish) years he was basically in power of the place? All I’ve heard was he made the air cleaner, which would be great except for, you know, shimmer and the child factory workers

Jinx is unwell and feeding into it like this in a fully serious manor would not help Arcane as a show at all

What do you want Arcane’s message as a full show to be? ‘Screw cops’? That’s a little boring and unproductive isn’t it?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT EKKO AND HIS IMPACT PLEASE???? x9382728283

Caitlyn is trying to make Piltover and Zaun a better place. Is that not allowed? Am I missing something?

Caitlyn and Vi’s arcs have only just started. Season one is basically fully set up except for characters like silco and Jinx. This is far from the end.

Genuinely think Vander would appreciate Vi for being friends (using this term loosely because they are in love) with Caitlyn considering he was the one who was opposed to war and Vi wasn’t.

Silco should NOT be your idea of Undercity independence and respect. He oppressed the Undercity the same way the Council and the Enforcers did. He helped no one but himself, his team (barely) and Jinx.

You’re allowed to like and dislike any character you want but pretending like Silco is better for the Undercity than others is just so ridiculous to me. Everyone is of course completely allowed to like Silco, but we can’t pretend like he’s this stand up guy. If you have to pretend like he was, maybe you don’t like him as much as you think.

“Because Cait’s pretty” is also incredibly incorrect. Go check point #14.

Vi never stopped loving and caring for Powder. Powder’s mental health issues were amplified and utilized by Silco because he couldn’t even heal himself.

If all of your opinions of Caitlyn and Vi start and end with “cops suck” and “class traitor” then you genuinely don’t respect Arcane as a show enough to show you nuance.

The misinterpretation of characters is just so … it’s like you go out of your way to love and/or hate characters no matter how much they show you who you are.

Your closed mindedness is clouding your judgement and making you out to seem like you don’t actually want the Undercity’s triumph, you want Silco and Jinx’s, even if it means ruining the Undercity. And that would be fine because father/daughter evil duo but trying to say you’re all for this duo because you want what’s better for the Undercity when they continue to hurt it is simply not correct and very harmful (to fictional characters in a fictional universe 😭)

Only being able to understand how Silco and Jinx were oppressed and therefore should be able to not just destroy Piltover but also Zaun is not the eat you think it is

Why is Viktor never called a class traitor? I think he's great (I also think Silco and Jinx are wonderfully written) but we hardly saw him in the Undercity/ interact with people from the Undercity plus he killed someone (Sky) from there (accidentally)

EDIT TO ADD ANOTHER POINT: Caitlyn has shown little to NO malicious intent and has no real negative impacts other than Jinx’s attachment issues and insecurities being amplified by her mere existence. Again, this is her story and development. Throughout the season she is exposed to reality and recognizes her and her peers/ families wrongs. I have no idea what you want from this character. Should Piltover just be gotten rid of in the story? Then what? Should Caitlyn have just never gotten involved and continued to embrace her privilege? Should she have left Vi in prison and stay ignorant?

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane netflix #point number 32 sums it all up I think #i blocked most of the people who added and made the post so they wont see this lol #i might be overreacting or misinterpreting #maybe i didnt watch the show right #or maybe i did and some of these people are bad at this #some points are most definitely redundant #and im open to people disagreeing.... respectively lol maybe dont wish death on a character and ill hear you out #again i wouldnt dislike silco as much if he wasnt put on a pedestal by people who swear theyre all for the undercity #i wrote this kind of in anger so like sorry about that lol #anti silco #<- for tagging purposes if this is too silco critical for the people who like him #to slay or not to slay #caitvi #this is the second repost because the first two didn’t show up in the tags cuz I messed with my settings 😭😭😭

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her-reidiance · 11 months

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A Kindred Spirit's Revelations, or: How This Arknights Player only came to love Lappland infinitely more — a Treatise by Her-Reidiance

I have had so many thoughts about Lappland in Il Siracusano it's insane. She afflicts my brain like Oripathy. Please bear with me, below is a long post and contains spoilers for the event.

EDIT: This part is misremembered, I apologize. The Saluzzos took in Cellinia Texas 7 years ago, after the Texas famiglia was "liquidated" for rebelling against Signora Sicilia. Yet Salvadore also sent Cellinia to live with them before the purge.

Lappland and Texas have been through how much together... was Lappland infected after Cellinia was taken in? How did those changes start to show... slowly or rapidly? Did Lappland's obsession begin with Cellinia first leaving Siracusa, or was it prior to that? Despite what we do gain knowledge of in the event, there's still some open doors.

We do know that they know each other quite well, and there's still some vestige of trust before the event's conclusion, this being my favorite representation:

The fact that Cellinia doesn't even bat an eye at the fact that Lappland broke into a supposedly well secured prison, but also the fact that she accepts the treat that Lappland brought, only to then realize it's her least favorite flavor — a fact Lappland had to have known going into this — sets my heart on fire. They know each other so well! They're complementary, contrasting, they have intimate knowledge of each other (take this phrase as you will, I already know how I do) and they regularly stay in some sort of off-balance with each other.

But the fact is, Lappland's obsession with Cellinia isn't just some textbook stalker with a crush, like what most would initially think given what had been presented prior to Il Siracusano. As Lappland says herself:

Lappland grew up the perfect Siracusan, the perfect Donna in training, the perfect killer. She was everything that could be expected of a woman in her station. She didn't see any way out of that life. It's what she was born in, it's what she will die in. But then along comes Cellinia Texas, doing nothing to save her family's life when the time comes to exterminate them, simply walking away from it all, and then walking away from her years later to go to Lungmen. Whatever condition Lappland was in by then, a switch was flicked on nonetheless, and she realized: "Oh... if it sucks... I can hit the bricks!"

But could she, really? What if Texas came back to Siracusa, and found that she could not truly escape her destined life after all, that she was just as bound to this place as Lappland was and would die here? That was the real test, and thus the events of Il Siracusano take place. But, when all is said and done, and it's just the two of them alone in the park...

I love this so much because it illustrates that our favorite insanity wolf has evolved! There is progress in her character arc! It's in an absolutely unhinged direction but it is no less in character for it. Her obsession has left from focusing solely on Texas as the Ideal, and now focused on destroyed Siracusa as a sort of Anti Ideal. Lappland now knows she is not bound by fate or blood or destiny to the place she was born. She too can simply watch the flames consume her family, her life, and walk away. And unlike Cellinia, she intends to be the one to light the match. The narrative gestures to this as well:

Lappland is now able to face the world, the wide world around her, not just as backdrops to her pursuit of Cellinia, but as hers to explore, to enjoy, to destroy as she wishes!

This moment is so much to me. It's the sudden clarity in her vision that demonstrates that she finally sees Cellinia as her own person, as just Texas the woman. Texas the Penguin Logistics courier. Texas, the woman who left. And she's no longer Lappland Saluzzo, shackled to her family name or a predestined future as its leader. She's... just Lappland.

Part time soulmates, Full time problem. No other dynamic can sum them up. Texas still cares for Lappland, just as she does Giovanna, as a part of her past that she did not altogether dislike. But she also sees more clearly than either of them. Giovanna, stuck in the past when she was Cellinia's best friend. Lappland, presently stuck on destroying the city around her as a final show of independence.

Finally, Lappland leaves the city, after a couple of loose ends are wrapped up. She wanders the wasteland, where the freshly defeated Zaaro happens upon her.

She fights Zaaro for THREE MONTHS in the middle of desolate wastelands. In all of that time, Zaaro didn't kill her, because he came to realize that there was no point in it. There was no satiation to be found for doing so, and that her fractured mind makes her a perfect candidate to be his next Fang. She is an empty husk, a woman who has nothing to live for by herself, but she is full. Full of training, full of potential, full of a singular goal; she is perfect to serve as the vengeance that Zaaro wishes to exact on Siracusa for his failure. And so, they team up, forming a bond forged in mutual hate. Not unlike the original appearance of Eddie Brock and Venom, truly.

The timing of the Azione Solo stories seems ambiguous to me, but some of them definitely take place after the main events of Il Siracusano. Of course, while I'm on the subject, let's discuss Lappland's solo story. I believe I have space left for more pictures so I'll share a few.

The summation is that Lappland makes a minor cameo in Cellinia's, in which she leaves a radio for the Texas to find, and she also goes about rooting through her family's estate one more time. She finds a photo of her younger self, and reminisces slightly on it. In between there was also a musbeast that she found and decided to keep, until it was taken and slain by the Saluzzo mafiosos.

After reminiscing about her father, and how doomed he — and as a result, she — are by being born as Saluzzos, as part of the mafia famiglie system... she destroys the image, while lamenting briefly that once again, the beloved pet of hers was killed by her father, laughing maniacally. To her, there still is no escape, or at least that's one way her mind leans. She knows Cellinia left, but maybe... maybe she cannot. All she can do is burn it down so there is nothing left to trap her. Nothing left to come back to. Scorched earth.

Finally, she dismisses Capone from her tentative services, having recruited him and Gambino at the end of Code of Brawl. Capone at this point realizes a bit just how absolutely feral and insane his "boss" is, and he is ready to die trying to kill her to be rid of her, by holding a knife in his sleeve. Of course, this is Lappland we're talking about. She sees through it right away and expresses probably one of her more genuine selves by stating that he's making a choice, and that's enough for her. He's free to go. The duplicitous Lappland, who prior might just have killed him for the sake of... sport? Insurance? On a whim? Lets him go instead, because she respects that he is making a choice for himself, rather than what he had been doing all event, which is walking on eggshells around her and trying not to be killed by her. We leave Lappland's story for now with this:

This implies that she returns to the city at some point after contracting with Zaaro. This to me shows promise of a continuance of her character. Lappland, The Fang of Zaaro, 6-star Operator coming sometime. Maybe during the Laterano event? After all, there's much more questions left to be answered... like why Lappland, a Lupo from Siracusa, can use Arts so well; and implied to be a skill of hers before her infection... but that's a ramble for another post.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all understand my kinship with Lappland a little better, or at least have a bit more appreciation for this wonderful, horrible, terrifying, beautiful creature.

#Arknights #Rei speaks #now I just need to see her interact with Mostima 1 on 1...#To complete this wonderfully woven web of quadrants between her and Penguin Logistics #Lappland #Lappland Saluzzo #Texas the Omertosa #Cellinia Texas #Lappland Arknights #Texas Arknights #Lore #Analysis #In which Rei gets autistic about her kin #Long post #No I mean really long

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originalaccountname · 7 months

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There are some posts I've seen floating around that at the start Dazai may not of known that Chuuya wasn't a vampire which I kind of agree with. I'm at work currently so I cant double check but when he goes "that's a nasty trick you've pulled fydor" im pretty sure its in his thoughts?? To which why would he think that if he knew the whole time. I think dazai must of caught onto the fact Chuuya was faking it at somepoint but not sure when that would of been. Also at the end of the ep Dazai said he didn't have a plan. (I did watch the episode at just after 2am my time when it came out and then fell asleep afterwards so my memory could be not correct). I do think chuuya not being a vampire at all is a little disappointing tbh but this idea softens the blow. Would like to know your thoughts on this idea if you are open to sharing?

I'm in that category too, yes. I've left a few tags saying basically the same thing on some posts.

First, there are a few things the anime didn't answer (more than failing to justify Chuuya faking it since the start, there's Sigma's case about needing to help the ADA, which... didn't happen at all) so either we haven't seen the repercussions of this arc yet, or we got the shortened version of what the manga will offer. Which could work either way. (not ideal necessarily, but besides huffing what can we do huh)

Dazai not knowing though! Dazai did admit to his "plan" being to mostly adapt on the fly and trust his allies to help him back. He implied this prison break was one big trust fall. But that's how I've always interpreted Dazai's way of planning! I even made a post about it a full year ago!

Since Dazai knows Chuuya slowed down the elevator (which I can accept, Dazai's ability shouldn't affect random objects he touches, and Fyodor had told Chuuya through a comm to go finish off Dazai because he wasn't in the room), I assume that by then he was aware. Maybe not before though. Definitely not at first. Because this?

I refuse to believe was entirely scripted. Why is he acting? For Sigma? For corpses? I'm of the opinion that no matter what is going on through Dazai's head, his expressions are always genuine (ex: he might react with surprise at something he completely expected, if only because of how sudden it was, or when/how it ended up happening. Here? genuine distress.)

And I extend that feeling to Dazai having an emotional moment, complete with flashbacks, while "drowning" Fyodor and Chuuya. He did say he wasn't expecting to kill them that way, but perhaps it really was a moment of weakness triggered by concern or guilt.

I can accept Dazai having caught on during his face-off with Chuuya. That's Mr I-know-your-breathing-patterns we have here, so if they didn't high-five after the elevator crash-landing (still broke Dazai's leg), I would say Dazai knows physics enough to go "hold on" and connect the dots. So yes, that baiting of Chuuya, the light taunting, the bratty attitude he only really has with Chuuya, the angry YELLING and insults when Chuuya shot him in the shoulder? The destiny talk? Yeah I can re-contextualize those as Dazai over-acting his part. And then not being able to shut up after being shot in the head.

Maybe there's some reaching here, maybe this will not be totally accurate to the source material. But Asagiri does have a habit to write scenes from an outsider pov while knowing whats happening in the characters' heads and behind the scene, but then not give us that input directly. Never before today was it confirmed that Dazai improvises a lot in his plans. And yet! That's something I've believed in for a very long time.

This all could very well be covering Asagiri's poor decisions, but between this being the adaptation and bsd being an unfinished story, I have a hard time deciding at the moment how much of a poor decision this was. Maybe it's worth a raised eyebrow. Maybe it deserves some criticism in hope the author takes notes. Maybe this was an anime-original resolution due to time constraints (think of the Fifteen final fight). I can only raise concerns for now, and wait.

#bsd being a monthly release is also detrimental to its pacing #the chapters in the last+ year were very short and suspense-heavy #which makes it look cheaper than if you took a break and read them all in one go #there's a balance in there #i don't know if asagiri really writes with our time perception in mind. maybe he just writes the story and then it's divided in chapters #and that's that. who cares if there's 6 months between those two entries.#bsd #bsd s5 #bsd spoilers #apparently i talk sometimes #ask answered

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swordfright · 8 days

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I love your dsmp analisis!! expecially the ones about the final. You expressed the thoughts I've been trying to put in words prefectly and make me think again about some details of the story I wasnt watching well. The thing you said about the way how interpersonal abuse is used to justified systhemic abuse remenbers me about how justice and prisons work today

Immensely relieved to hear someone still finds my finale reaction post interesting because honestly i cringed a little when i rediscovered it. I feel this way about most of my old posts, not because I think I was wrong (i stand by that shit!!!) ) but I guess because like...the emotional intensity...lmao. That stream really had me going through it. To quote Veggie Tales, "I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob."

Although I suppose it's worth mentioning that there is one detail I've changed my mind on. Tbh I don't think i'd still use the word "systemic" to describe the abuse c!Dream deals with. At the time I wrote that post, I was trying to express that the cruelty c!Tommy suffers and the crulety c!Dream suffers are different but connected, and that the excuses used (by both characters and fans) to justify c!Dream's abuse mirrored IRL conversations about punitive justice.

While I do think the Pandora arc and its aftermath happen to work really well as an anti-prison allegory, I don't think we can really call anything in DSMP canon "systemic" because like...there are no systems! The server is, what, 30-something people split into half a dozen factions? There is no state on that server cohesive enough to codify anything into a system. [More on this here but it's tangential.]

All that said, I do 100% stand by the main point of that post, which was that violence perpetuates itself and the finale was largely about recognizing this and choosing something else. It's not too late. It's not too late, and even when it is too late, the end can always be a beginning if you let it :'') Good shit!!

#don't get me wrong - interpersonal abuse is definitely used to justify systemic abuse #but in this particular story i don't see the violence in question as systemic #on the contrary. i think c!sam's cruelty towards c!dream is very very personal #even if neither of them would admit it #anyway this ask made me so happy!!#glad my ramblings aren't super annoying to everyone #asks #c!dream #dsmp finale #pandoras vault

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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One thing that gets lost in ship discourse (or its hyper-positive opposite) is that regardless of your feelings on a ship, in order to tell a story, the character relationships do and should have an impact on a character's story arc, and not all relationships are going to offer the same emotional weight throughout any given character's story.

This is particularly true of actual play, wherein each player character is running a separate story as a protagonist, and therefore you have to consider each of them as an individual thread within one larger narrative, on top of the narrative itself.

That being said, the farther you get into the story and the closer to the end you are, the ways those threads can interweave get culled, simply by circumstances. Relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, etc) change over time, and whether they are narratively compelling changes as well. In contrast, "ship" is generally used to suggest a dynamic an individual audience member finds compelling, which may or may not have anything to do with the narrative, even if the dynamic is interesting for reasons of narrative potential (that isn't ultimately explored within canon). These are distinct concepts in terms of analysis. So as a disclaimer, this post is about character relationships within the narrative as it exists—essentially, what makes the story that exists work as well as it does, in the end.

Now that we've got all that out of the way, let's talk about Caleb.

Caleb's problem for much of the campaign is one of survival and self-preservation. His goal is simply to last long enough to find a way to go back in time. Because that is a very open goal, it doesn't inherently have much to tie him to another character in a relationship sense. He is not looking for that, he does not see himself as worthy of it, and it's really not a necessary narrative question, regardless of what attraction he does have.

But over time (and, I would argue, in a way that is fairly singular among the Nein, but I won't get into that here), his priorities begin to shift. Many of his needs are now met in ways that they previously weren't, allowing him to fully consider what he wants. For instance, between the start of the war and the time they reach Xhorhas, he has changed his mind about becoming involved in this war—because he is not being forced into it by possible conscription. He has significantly more options than he did at the start.

What he ends up realizing, as he finds the opportunity to put an end to the war, is that he cannot trust his own judgment. There is near universal support to end the war—even the nations involved are there because of what they view as existential threats. That opinion is not in question. But everything else is. Caleb is a victim of manipulation and brainwashing, and this is very apparent when he starts pleading with the scourger prisoner of war to give him some kind of proof that people like him can change.

And this is not something that anyone else of the Nein can offer him. They can tell him that they think he is a good person and that they trust him, but because of his history—and because he knows how smart he is, and how far he can fall—this isn't something he can take at face value, especially given that they have not seen or known him at his worst, and have not experienced it either.

Yasha may be able to offer some guidance in that area, but she is working through similar issues at both a different pace and in different ways than he is—she isn't seeking any situation where she would make potentially world-shaping decisions or have influence over others like he would. His goals are singularly risky. Veth comes closest to this, in that she very briefly considers prolonging the war to alleviate her own suffering, but it's not a decision she's ever forced to make.

(Honestly, thinking about this, an arc in which Veth does take that deal with Isharnai is a fascinating alternative universe to consider—it would certainly give her the opportunity to relate to Caleb in this way, but it would probably take another fifty episodes before Caleb could even bring himself to consider forgiving her, given it would be in direct conflict to the one thing he's been working at for a third of the campaign up until then. Still, a fascinating consideration!)

So between Caleb attempting to sway the scourger and going to Astrid's house in secret, this is the point at which it seems like the Nein cannot help him do the rest of the work. They have done a lot to get him here and considering what else he wants! But they can't offer him what that is, which is essentially tangible corroboration of what they've already offered.

And at this point in the campaign when taken as a whole, there's only one character who can actually offer that. Because to have real emotional weight, what Caleb is looking for is someone who is as smart as he has, who has made a similarly horrific decision even in spite of that intelligence, and who has now committed to actual change.

It's the commitment to actual change that is difficult, because it requires a support structure—and in hindsight, there's not enough time left to build that up for someone like Astrid or Eadwulf, but it's already partially in place for Essek.

(We can debate all day long about what could've been different if the hiatus never happened, or the campaign had lasted longer, but this is specifically about the campaign that we have. I think there is also an argument to be made that Astrid or Eadwulf would've required a much longer and more intensive timeframe to reach that point even if the campaign had continued than the format really offered, because they have preconceived notions about Caleb that complicates their ability to take what he says at face value even if they care about him succeeding in his goals—but that's also not relevant to this point.)

But I do think this is why Essek progresses very quickly, and is largely committed to aiding them by 124—he already has been aiding them, and has expressed loyalty to them above anyone else.

This is not as much of a leap as it may appear to some, because even by 91 and 97, he had done significant introspection on his own time. This is only a continuation of how he has been characterized thus far. He's expressed doubt from a very early point, whereas Astrid does not begin to express doubt (regardless of whether she feels it, because this is about capacity for willing admittance) until after the dinner with Trent.

What ends up happening is that Essek's the one who actually calls Caleb on things. He gives him an ultimatum with the conversation about Trent when the Nein won't. He offers reason and perspective in the paper room when the rest of the Nein get impatient. He checks off all of the boxes of what Caleb is looking for (which is essentially a narrative mirror), and very early into the Nein's trip through Aeor, Caleb seems to have forgiven him, and his fears and misgivings erode from there.

Only this corroboration, because his opinion of Essek is specifically about his opinion of his own capacity for change, allows him to recognize that returning to the past would simply make him the same person he had been at 17, and finally put that plan, the person that he was, and his parents to rest. If he is not able to be anything other than that boy, then he has no reason to not remain as such, and return to the past; but if he believes himself capable of change, then the question of going back in time is one of leaving behind the person he is now in favor of the boy who made that choice. He is asked, if he believes himself capable of change, to acknowledge that he was that person once, but can now be more than that and move beyond it.

And the proof that he needs in order to affirm that when he is given the opportunity to do so is standing next to him.

Fundamentally, this is not related to Caleb's long-term relationship with Essek at all. This could have been the end of it—they could've parted ways and the story would've still been told and completed.

But I think it is important that a) Essek does get to have some happiness, and b) part of that is with Caleb (though this still doesn't have any bearing on platonic vs romantic, only that they have some kind of close mutual relationship in the long run). On a very basic level, because he is now in this position of being corroborating evidence for Caleb himself, Essek becomes a stand-in for how the narrative sees Caleb, and how Caleb views himself.

If the narrative condemns him and leaves him out to dry, it is an implicit reflection on Caleb—and directly conflicts with the narrative implication that Caleb is not solely worth condemnation. And however much it has nothing to do with romance or a relationship of that kind, Caleb's choice to care about him in the long run is an acknowledgement of being willing to care for and forgive himself.

#critical role #caleb widogast #cr meta #fun way to die: take a shot every time i use the word 'narrative' while reading this #this has been a long time coming and everyone is very lucky it was only 1500 words.#there's literally so much more to say about this and how fascinating it is within the narrative structure but #that's an argument for a WAY longer paper #tbh i didn't even have space here to go into it and I'm not going to but #this also does mean that essek is not *in canon* a protagonist in the same sense the PCs are and he simply can't be #he has other purposes on a narrative level and that's really important! but as much as he has an arc that arc is For Caleb narratively

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rise-my-angel · 8 months

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I am here for your takes on Dani. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought her x Jon smelled of hot garbage. Like at best she was meh, and then when the two of them met I was just like "oh no....you're an entitled bitch". And now that its been years since I last consumed GoT, my thoughts have fermented into "oh no, she really is a conqueror" "oh no, everyone loves her because 'pretty badass lady'" "oh no i'm the fandom minority again". Anyway, where was I. She and Jon had no chemistry. The end.

The *only* way putting them in a romance even makes sense in concept is when you realize Benioff and Weiss gave Jon the Young Griff arc. It's why they gave him a Targ name, beacuse if they call him "aegon" then they can fufill that part of the books without ever having to establish Young Griff as his own character. He is the supposed son of Rhaegar Targaryean and Elia Martell, he goes to Westeros with intentions of using his better claim to take the throne and intends initially on marrying Dany, and it's theorized heavily that Dany will see his claim as a threat and the Burning of Kings Landing will come down to Aegon against Dany.

Jon Snow has nothing to do with that. He is a moral opposite to Dany as a charecter, and we've seen him time and time again be at strong odds against people with her morals. But by giving him the Young Griff arc, it means putting him into the romance spot when it makes no sense for him.

Hey I put a read more beacuse I cannot shut the fuck up about how this relationship is just rape and abuse but beacuse Jon's a man we think he wants it.

All of season 7 Jon is so out of place because he doesn't belong anywhere near Dany's Iron Throne plot, and he's being forced to interact romantically with a charecter that clearly he does not like as a person and is uncomfortable with.

But, Dany is the sacred cow of the GoT/asoiaf fandom. You love her and if you critizize her for villanious actions or morals then you are using bad faith towards her. While I personally don't like her, I don't mind other people liking her but I despise that her stans all refuse to allow any conversation about her being a morally bad person. A person who enjoys cruelty and death, enjoys creating fear and is smug when she can control others. That is not a person Jon would love, let alone even respect.

Their entire relationship wreaks of abuse, of Jon being forced into this and knows he cannot leave it without risking his and his families lives. Remember when Tyrion gave a very small level critisism of her actions and she angrily accused him of treason and siding with his family instead of her? Well what do people think would she have done, if her attraction to Jon was refused? Someone who she took all the defenses away from, all the power from, and could have killed at any moment (dont make an ygritte comparison mimi dont make an yrgitte comparison this is a different anti jon x fandom female fave charecter post).

I don't care how the show frames it, or what the intent was. What we got on screen, was Jon Snow being held prisoner to an immoral, cruel, military conquerer. And when that woman was attracted to him, she essentially forced herself into his life and gave him all but no choice. The Jon bending the knee scene and..the uh...boat...scene...later...uhhh....anyways, those to me feel so out of charecter. You cannot convince me Jon did any of this willingly. He is clearly trapped in this situation and cannot leave and is only with her beacuse she is violent and bloodthrirsty. But beacause Jon is a strong, capable man, it's not talked about as if he's the victim and that is insane to me. (Oh my good god the ygritte comparisons are almost laughable send help).

I don't consider a lot past season 5 to be canon, but if I am forced too, then I refuse to accept Jon was a willing participant in that relationship.

Jon's parentage reveal will always be about the revelations of his mother, and the understanding and acceptance of WHY Ned raised him the way he did. And how it was both his parents, his mother and his adopted father who loved him and kept him safe. The very fact that Young Griff's entire story is based around whether or not he truly is Rhaegar's son as opposed to that being a twist reveal is beacuse HE is the charecter whose Targaryean links is the important one. Jon's story is about him as Stark, and is always shown to be the moral opposite of Dany.

Their relationship in the best senario is not canon, but if it has to be, then there is no world in which Jon is there of his own free will. He is being forced into this relationship against his will. But considering his other love interest was another charecter who essentially forced him into a relationship against his will, and we were supposed to root for that tells me all I need to know.

Dany is a sacred cow charecter, and her stans are unreasonable in defending her. When you can like a charecter and critize them for their actions. Ned Stark was an idiot for ever trusting Petyr Baelish, Catelyn Stark's spiteful attitude and neglect of Jon Snow is was abusive behavior, Theon Greyjoy was a moron who ruined his own life for a father who long since abandonded him. Bam all charecters I love and there are some major flaws that I refuse to defend them for but thats also what makes them good charecters. Their flaws arent writing flaws, they are personal flaws for them as people.

Dany is not allowed to have personal flaws she is always to be justified even with incredibly bad faith defenses, but when she is flawed it's the writings fault not hers. Dany is a cruel, sadistic, controlling, military tyrant who enjoys watching her subjects fear her and her dragons. And she forced Jon Snow into a relationship with her beacuse otherwise then he is against her and we already knew she has no use for people who dont support her to be alive.

Jon Snow deserved better then to have both his love interests be domineering, controlling, abusive women who forced him into a romantic and sexual relationship.

Also, I mean, incest being normal is only a learned trait from Targaryens supporting their own blood purity. Jon was not raised to think incest is normal. Dany thinks its normal beacuse she and Viserys both were raised to think that, and Young Griff thinks marrying Dany is normal beacuse he too was raised with the mentality that Rhaegar would've been raised with. Jon finding out Dany was his aunt would've had Jon looking right at Sam and just

#i liked her in early seasons of the shows run #but quickly i realized I was watching a charecter who would never see herself as in the wrong and her fans did the same thing #wheras Jon wears his flaws on his sleeve and is always fighting to better himself against a world telling him its fine to be a bad person #he is a good man with a strong moral compass and would see through her facade in zero seconds flat #he DOES HE CALLS HER OUT ON HER ENTITLED VIOLENT ATTITUDE BUT THE SHOW PRETENDS ITS A MEET CUTE #HE HATES HER #he and davos would turn their asses around and swim back to winterfell before hed ever even remotely like her as a person #this isnt a judgement for those who enjoy her as a charecter #but instead a critisism of those fans for having absoutelty no objectivity in talking about her flaws and morals as a person #jon fucking hates her and no amount of uwu look how pretty she is will ever fucking convince me otherwise #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #jon snow #anti jonerys #anti daenerys targaryen #anti targ stans #anti targaryen

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glazsirok · 26 days

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Ohhh could u tell us more abt the alternative post prison arc?

this idea belongs to one of my favorite ficwriters ^^

In this alternate arch, after being imprisoned in pandora, c!dream was in a really terrible state. his entire body was covered with deep scars, and his right arm was almost completely burned, as was the right half of his face (for this reason, usually no one stands on his right side, firstly because the almost completely burned part of his face looks scary, and secondly because now it is a blind spot for c!dream)

the syndicate miraculously managed to bring him out of a coma, and c!sam (feeling guilty for such a serious condition of the administrator) made a netherite prosthesis for his right hand, powered by a red stone (if the apocalypse happens, this hand will 100% outlive its owner)

what is most surprising, even assuming that c!dreams only eye will soon go completely blind, that his broken knee does not allow him to actively move, which is why he even has to walk with a cane, that his right hand now does not exist, but instead there is a prosthesis, which must be regularly cared for, that he is useless even in everyday life, that he HATES THE STAIRS IN THE TECHNOBLADE HOUSE, even despite all this, he remained the dream he was before his imprisonment yes, now he can't hurt anyone with an axe (he can't even hold a weapon in his hands because of the tremor), but he is still ready to fight back, if not physically, then psychologically, and even such a deplorable state of his body does not prevent him from scaring everyone away (in fact, on the contrary, it helps)

and of course, c!technoblade will not miss the moment to tell another joke about one-armed people in front of him, for which c!dream is sincerely ready to punch him, but since he knows how it will end, he will continue to give c!techno a threatening look. "Technoblade is delighted"

I apologize in advance for any mistakes in the text, I am writing with the help of a translator, since English is not my native language

#you have no idea how much I love this #this is one of my all-time favorite au

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sporesgalaxy · 2 months

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I love chucklebug so much its unreal. Just realized that Pierre escaping the Navy to fw Buggy inversely mirrors their departure for the navy when they were younger bc they chose for themselves rather than the pleasure of other people! Also like. they’re bombastic escape where they left the family made for them (by the Navy) in favor of their own choice (Clown Town) in contrast to the silent submission when they first joined the Navy is!! fucking peak!! (I don’t actually remember their escape but it was a prison break yeah?)

ALAS, THERE WAS NO COOL ESCAPE FOR PIERRE....... but that's on me, I have BARELY brought it up?? Which I didnt realize!!!!!! Sorry!!!

In my head this fact was better established because I've been writing and rewriting the Pierre & Buggy post-timeskip reunion for so long, and it's one of the things they discuss in that script

But you're not wrong either! Pierre WILL have to reckon with his people-appeasing and self-denial, that's definitely where his character arc is going. It jussst hasn't quite happened yet.

See, Pierre and Buggy post-TS are both relying on each other a little TOO much to paint over their insecurities with Getting A Good Grade In Being Liked while they're feeling pushed around and worthless and fraudulent elsewhere in their lives. This was always sort of the case for them but it's magnified a lot more post-TS.

Neither of them really have a plan to get to a better situation at first, they're just clinging to each other.

As per the canon story, Buggy eventually stands up to Mihawk and Crocodile when he hears that Shanks is finally going after the One Piece after not doing so for years.

I'd like to see the next installment of the Buggy & Co. intermission comics before I decide what to do with Pierre. Whatever happens though, I AM gonna make him finally choose to go after something he wants even though it might not work out or be the easiest choice.

#asks #1pc #centipierre

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utopianparadoxist · 9 months

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Hi! I'm most interested on reading your version of HS extension(?) continuation? re-adaptation? Ever since I first saw your analysis on Dirk and Jake I've considered you with amazing grip of the characters and the HS universe over all, Dirk is one of my fav characters of all time (if not the), and there is nothing I'd want more for him than a happy ending, the epilogues were truly heart breaking for him (even though I was more than willing to see where they were going with him in HS^2 in hopes of seeing him reach a happy end) Homestruck was and still is one of my fav properties ever and I'd love to see more from you, I'm sorry you had a hard time but I'm really glad you're back, here and in a better headspace. That said, I guess I'm just somewhat confused on in you have something written already or if it's in the works or from where in the timeline you're continueing from ? Maybe you have like, a master post with your list of essays and fics?

I also loved your youtube videos btw

Thanks! It means a lot to read this. As to your question:

The main project I've been managing since the Epilogues got posted is Pumpkin Path/Pumpkin Track, a sequel to the Meat and Candy epilogues focused primarily on Pumpkins and Vegetables as an alternative form of fan consumption.

The first installment of this arc is THE APOCRYPHON OF JAKE ENGLISH (2019), which follows Meat Jake immediately following Ultimate Dirk's desertion of Earth C. Brain Ghost Dirk declares Dirkjake cancelled and (trigger warning) self-destructs, unleashing the inner barriers in Jake's psychology that he always used his inner Dirk voice to maintain.

Thus Jake's own mind begins to lead him down a rabbit hole of speculatory metaphysics, esoteric spiritual symbolism, and esoteric magic theory that ultimately leads to his ascension to Ultimate Self as Prince English: Himself wearing Dirk's shades and orange hat and essentially larping as a Prince in imitation of Dirk proper.

Through the power he gains from this, he blasts off from Earth C and tracks down Ultimate Dirk for a no holds barred 8eatdown in which he reclaims their lost love and makes Dirk his prisoner with chains of love and mercy, cancelling his ability to die and comitting to becoming the vill8in of Homestuck, as well as its Her8, if it means he can keep Dirk safe and alive.

In the process he finally establishes Dirkjake as indisputable endgame canon, and becomes the equivalent of the I AM Christian God, the new existential equivalent to Lord English himself, with a will that predominates completely over everything else in Paradox Space. There may be some surprises that happen along the way, too.

Now, That much of the story has been written and published since 2019. You can read it on A03 right now and always could. In fact, I'd encourage you to do so and @ me, as well as maybe tag it with #Pumpkin Path, #Pumpkin Track, or just straight up #Homestuck for all I care. I want eyes on this thing, and I wanted them 4 years ago.

That said:

I am now nearing completion on the follow-up to the Apocryphon as an intermission piece between the Epilogues and Pumpkin Track proper, with what is essentially ACT 1 of Pumpkin Track: W(1)LDSCR1PT-B4R0QU3STUCK, a high-drama spectacle driven continuation of the plot of the Epilogues centering on a confrontation between Ultimate Jake English and Meat Jade Harley, who must duel for the right to decide if Dirk Strider dies.

In the process of their battle and Jade's necessary Ascension to Ultimate Selfhood in order to Rise uP to the level necessary to compete against a being like Prince English, deeply hidden truths will be unveiled; about the lives of Jade and Jake, about the moral logic that rules Earth C, and about the very nature and purpose of Paradox Space itself.

If I have it my way, if all goes as I Hope, then nothing in Homestuck will ever be the same once it's posted. The Apocryphon was setup. Now it's fucking Sh8wt1m3, and I can't w8.

The first half of Wildscript is written and has been being beta'd for several months, and I have a full outline written for the rest. Anyone who gets their eyes on the thing seems to come away pretty excited. Sometime in the near future, I'll post the first four Chapters of Wildscript on Ao3 or some other platform, and update the rest as I go. And once Wildscript is finished, I have future Acts and Intermissions planned for the foreseeable eternity, tackling off the top of my head: Ultimate Ascensions for Rose and Kanaya, Vriska and Terezi, Roxy and Calliope, Jane Crocker, and Nepeta Leijon and Tavros Nitram as they lead the twin charges of Nepetaquest 3033.

There is no endpoint to my ambition for the future of Homestuck save simply: 8. The only question is whether the fandom wants to come along for the ride with me in the long run. I think Hope Remains that we'll have a great time here if they do.

If not, I hope they have even more fun elsewhere.

Let's rise.

#homestuck #dirkjake #Jake English #Dirk Strider #optimisticDuelist #Pumpkin Path #Pumpkin Track

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edream93 · 4 months

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I think it's time...(WLTF Outline)

So, for my Descendants folks, I'm sorry to say that I think it's time to call it. Though I know exactly how I want the story to go, I've unfortunately lost a lot of motivation for "We'll Light the Fuse" and most of my other unfinished Descendants stories.

Post D2, being part of the fandom, especially the Huma/Sea Three Side of things was so inspiring. I vibed with a great group of mutuals and for the first time I engaged in a fandom outside of just being an observer. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say, but I just want to thank my readers and other Descendants mutuals. Y'all unknowingly go me through a pretty rough time in my life. I hope you're all doing well ❤️

Anyway, I said I would give an outline of how I wanted WLTF to go. If you use any substantial bits, please reference me and also let me know! I'm not doing much writing but I'm still reading!

Neverland Arc/Hooked Intermission Arc:

Uma, Mal, and the others run into Tiger Peony and the remaining Lost Children who have hidden in an underground bunker away from Pan. Tiger Peony let them know that the spell that kept Pan asleep was broken due to the blood of Hook.

--- Long story short (and this would have been told throughout the arc, not just in one scene), Neverland always needs AT LEAST a Pan and a Hook to keep the island alive and thriving. The Pan (and technically the Captain Hook) that we see in this story is just the latest one. It's kind of one of those things where technically each Pan is unique in their own way but in the end all of their collective memories and experiences come together. When King Adam and the rest of the heroes got rid of/reduced the use of magic, it caused a magical blockage for Neverland as one of the few sources of pure magic in Auradon. It also was causing the current Pan to lose himself in thoughts and memories, like he would just space out. Sometimes he would forget entire conversations or days. It was shortly after Tiger Lily became leader of Neverland that people started noticing changes in Pan. Playing less. Spending time alone. Voice getting deeper...the Boy Who is Never Supposed to Grow Up getting...older... Around that time, the island was dying and the fairies were dying out. The Isle is Pan and Pan is the Isle. The Council of Magic (more on them soon) decided it was best to put Pan to sleep to halt his aging and to also naturally unblock some of the magical build up that he was unintentionally causing due to his unexplained growth.

---Not everyone was happy with it, especially those of Neverland but it was a time where unity was needed and Neverland, a historical site was dying (due to King Adam's decision to get rid of magic but no one really wanted to talk about that) so it was an agreed upon decision. Pan was put to sleep by the Council of Magic led by Fairy Godmother and Yen Sid, his loyal and faithful fairy Tinker Bell sealed away because they feared that she would find some way to wake him up. All very humane...Not.

---What people didn't realize, except for maybe Tiger Lily and her people is that Neverland is not inherently a Good place. It's also not inherently a Bad place. It's neutral, and with everything in life, has its good and bad. With Pan being asleep and Hook held prisoner under the barrier, there were no filters for the magic to go through and though it may have seemed like the magic was once again settling, it was actually building up dangerously. As stated before, Neverland always has a Pan and it always has a Hook. Even with Pan asleep, the delicate balance was skewed and magic will always find a way to get balance back, whether its outcomes are liked or not.

Anyway, back in the current timeline, Tiger Peony tells the Auradon gang that Neverland is forcing balance once again but unfortunately, the years of being asleep as well with his deteriorating mind has warped Pan. He has killed her mother and has put most of the island under his control. Tiger Peony was able to get most of the Lost Children (the kids who live in Neverland) into the underground bunkers under the hollowed old tree of Pixie Hollow the no longer spills out pixie dust. Since the Neverland fairies have long ago disappeared (around the same time Pan was put to sleep and Tinker Bell was sealed away) beneath Pixie Hollow has been turned into a disaster station.

Tiger Peony is grieving her mother and her home and angry for ever trusting CJ and thinking that she could be better than her father. She tells Mal that she did her duty and got High King Ben and Royal Counselor Evie back. Uma quickly notices that Harry, Carlos, Sammy Smee, and Big Murph are not present. Tiger Peony's make shift lieutenants (who were supposed to be heavily implied to to be either be the descendants of or were actually the three kids from the Nightmare Before Christmas - more of a world building addition/head nod than actual important part of the story) report that they thought the remaining boys were the few Lost Children under Pan's control.

Obviously Uma and Mal are not happy.

Across the Isle, Pan is not happy. He woke up to find Evie gone (there's a reason he's so obsessed with her) and CJ lost the Boy King (Ben). Thankfully he still has his Hook (Harry.

CJ is slowly starting to realize that maybe she isn't on the same page as Pan. She wants to be great and make a name for herself but Pan seems to be ordering her around worst than her siblings did on the Isle.

Harry tries to talk sense into her one last time but Pan (because he's connected to the island) realizes that the Auradon gang are now on the Isle and that causes CJ to get angry again at the thought of Uma and Mal coming in to ruin her fun and glory again.

Eventually, Uma, Mal, and the others find Pan. Pan tries to control Harry and make him his new Hook but Harry is so freaking devoted to Uma that despite having the blood of Hook (which basically means he's more susceptible to Neverland's influence), he easily breaks free of Pan's control like swatting a fly. (The power of simping compels him and all that jazz. I mean, there's an actual reason that'll be explained but that's what it comes down to basically, Harry's loyalty and devotion to Uma and vise versa.)

---"Why follow yer scrawny ass, when I have a goddess as a Captain?"

Obviously Pan is not happy and basically throws the world's biggest tantrum. The sky darkens, the waves rise high and crash violently against the shore as a storm begins to brew. Decides that if he can't have Harry as his Hook then he'll takeaway his thimble (aka kill Uma)

Back at Auradon, Audrey, Jane, and the left behind isle kids try to cover up for the others but Fairy Godmother and Mickey soon realize where they've gone.

Back in Neverland, though Pan may seem out-numbered, he has the Neverland mermaids and the Lost Children that he does have under his control. Basically a fight starts. Uma is trying to make sure she gets Harry, Gil, and the rest of the isle kids under her protection off this damn island but is struggling with her instincts which is to just destroy everything and take Harry and Gil away, somewhere safe.

In the midst of all of this chaos, Evie suddenly "knows" what to do to put Pan back to sleep and tells CJ that she's the only person who can help them do that.

At some point Mal turns into a dragon and goes rawr, flames, rawr trying to stop Pan.

Uma, while fighting Pan gets pushed into the water where all the Neverland mermaids are waiting to tear her to shreds. They pull her down into the murkey water and soon all that's seen is blood, rising from the depths.

The others try to fight Pan but he's too powerful.

Harry gets hurt. Like bad. Like might lose a hand bad.

Evie uses magic (her magic that smells likes roses - IT'S A CLUE that I've been sprinkling all throughout the written story so far as to what's going on with Evie and who Pan thinks she is), telling CJ that she's the only one who can stop Pan.

CJ blinks and suddenly she's alone and surrounded by darkness. With a far off light ahead. She walks and finds a fairy which she eventually realizes is Tinker Bell. -below is a scene I had typed up years ago because I loved it so much-

Silently, CJ watched Tinker Bell stroke the rusted surface of the thimble.

“He was perfect. Made all up of starlight kisses and the wind’s laughter. Unwavering belief and the feeling of warm sand between your toes,” Tinker Bell smiled brokenly, her none-bent wing fluttering slightly. “My boy. My Peter Pan. Mine. My starlight asked me, so I gave him my heart.”

“The acorn,” CJ thought, heart lead in her chest.

She sank down to her knees before the fairy. She bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

“But was it worth it? Was it worth the years stuck here? Broken? Trapped? How could you stand to be in a place like this all alone?”

A lone tear fell down the fairy’s cheek, but her smile never wavered. “Because he is my greatest happy thought. Even if he didn’t have my heart, I would shred my wings for him if it meant he would be happy.” Tinker Bell’s beautiful fae face twisted into something simultaneously cruel and longing. “That Wendy girl would never do that. Only me. Only Tink.” Her features smoothed out, and she looked at CJ with sudden new wonderment. “You understand...don’t you?”

The shadows around them shrieked and clawed, and CJ swore as the already small circle of light that surrounded them grew smaller.

“Tinker Bell,” she desperately clasped the fairy’s hands, careful not to touch the almost tarnished thimble held so tenderly in Tink’s hands. “If you don’t help me, there won’t be a happy thought left of your darling Pan. And my brother-” CJ bit her lip, trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to claw itself from her throat.

She was a pirate, dammit! No time for tears!

“I’m not good at this mushy feeling crap,” she chuckled wetly, thinking back to Harry, her idiotic, brash, overprotective, heart on his patched-sleeve brother. She wondered if she would ever see him again. If he would ever forgive her...“Probably should be the last person to talk about this, but,” CJ gripped Tink’s hands tighter, willing what little warmth was left in her into her hands, “holding out like this, keeping him in this limbo instead of letting him pass along, you’re not helping him. You’re hurting what little is left of your boy.”

“NO!” Tinker Bell shook her head vehemently, trying to pull her hands away from CJ’s firm grip with little luck. “No. No. No. No. Nonononono. He’s mine. He’s mine! My Pan. My Peter. My-”

Tink froze in shock as CJ’s arms wrapped around her, careful of her broken wing, in an awkward but firm embrace. “It’s okay to let him go,” CJ whispered softly. “It doesn’t mean you stopped loving him. Doesn’t mean you failed. But sometimes...letting go is the best thing...because holding on tight, no matter what you intended...it’s just hurting him.”

The withering shadows and breathing darkness pressed further against the perimeter of the circle and CJ could nearly taste the smell of decay and rot and death at their backs.

“CJ?” Tink murmured, leaning into her embrace. “I’m...I’m so tired, CJ. So so tired…”

“Then sleep,” CJ whispered, holding the broken fairy in her arms. “Sleep and dream of your boy, made up of starlight and laughter and belief and the feeling of warm sand between your toes. Sleep, and when you wake up, it’ll be a whole new adventure waiting for you.”

The darkness was now licking at her skin, threatening to consume her until nothing was left. She would embrace it. It was what she deserved.

Slowly, so slowly that CJ didn’t even notice as the darkness crept higher until the only light that remained was the dull thrum coming from the rusted thimble as Tinker Bell turned over her hand, letting the small item fall into CJ’s.

“Laugh always. Have many adventures. Cry just as much in laughter than in fear. And...cherish your happy thoughts...even when you grow too big for them,” Tink blessed as she pressed a kiss, as soft as fluttering butterfly wings on CJ’s forehead, just as they and the darkness shattered, until all that was left was faith, trust, and pixie dust.

(Note: ) Somewhere in all of this chaos, I would explain, drop hints that CJ's mother (because the Hook siblings all have different mothers) was Zarina, a fairy like Tinker Bell that fell in love with Captain Hook and when all the villains were forced onto the Isle, she gave up her wings and became human to be with him. Obviously did not end up well for her. Hook was horrible to her and around the time she had CJ she was deathly ill. Not sure if all of that was going to be explained in the story or not but basically my idea was that even though Zarina looked like a human, she was still a Neverland fairy, and unlike other fairies like Maleficent, Neverland fairies have such a strong, almost symbiotic relationship with Neverland. Essentially she died because she was cut away from magic.

CJ appears back - now with wings and more fae like features - in Neverland with the thimble Tinker Bell gave her that basically would put Pan back to sleep. (Essentially, Tinker Bell gave Pan her heart to try to fight against the deterioration of his mind due to the magic restriction. It ties into the bigger idea of magic is not something you can control and in its own way is kind of it's own entity, but essentially the magic of Neverland fed off of that exchange in a toxic way.)

Around the same time, Uma emerges from the water in her giant Sea Witch form looking like a goddess, the bodies of the dead Neverland mermaids turning into sickly foam around her.

The wind picks up, thunder and lightning pick up, and with CJ, Mal, and Uma (and Mickey though they don't know it) working together they are able to beat Pan and put him back to sleep.

Mickey arrives on a slightly newer boat than the steamboat they stole from them, basically giving the Auradon gang a ride back to the dorms. He also has Baymax with him who Harry who is slightly woozing from blood loss is surprisingly happy to see.

CJ apologizes for all the trouble she caused and asks Tiger Peony if she can stay to help restore the island. With Pan back to sleep, she wants to make sure that the magic of the island is actually balanced and as someone with the blood of Hook, she can influence that balance more now that she's aware of it and now that Pan is back asleep. Though still grieving her mother, Tiger Peony agrees.

The arc ends with Uma, Mal and the others returning back to school, hoping that's the end of all the weirdness.

Other things that were supposed to happen in this arc that I couldn't figure out where to put in the above:

Sammy Smee and Big Murph die under Pan's control which though she wasn't close to them, causes a lot more greif than Uma initially expected because 1.) she was supposed to keep them safe and 2.) she sees how it impacts Hadie and Diego

Carlos is fine but he's left with feelings of helplessness. He felt like such a damsel in distress all throughout this experience and that's going to have impact later on in the story.

Jay starts displaying more latent magic.

I hadn't decided when exactly it was going to happen but either in this arc or towards the beginning of the next arc, it would be revealed that Evie is the Sorceress (also known as Circe) from Beauty and the Beast reincarnated. She reincarnates every few years to make sure she's always experiencing new things and not getting stuck in her ways like other people. coughcoughFairyGodmothercoughcough.

Also, the remaining parts of this arc would have probably been another 3 or 4 chapter depending on how I broke things up with one of the chapters being a last Hooked Intermission. This was supposed to be happening during the same time the others were fighting Pan.

---Basically a riot happens on the Isle starting over by the docks but quickly spreading. Right before that though, Harriet runs into Anthony's mother, Anastasia, who warns her she should go somewhere safe to protect the baby. Though she appreciates the concern from the only adult who seems to genuinely care about her (despite her being her ex's mom) Harriet, with the help of Gil's brothers, Jonas, and surprisingly Sophie (Yen Sid's assistant) - who is back on the main part of the isle after checking the generators that partially help maintain the barrier - try to stop it. Harriet quickly realizes that the riot was started by Hook who is acting strange, even for him, almost possessed. They sword fight on the Jolly Roger. Harriet gets hurt but before Hook can deal the final blow, Anthony pushes her out the way and takes the fatal blow. Anthony gets a line out about how he was never good for her before dying. Some has lit the gunpowder that's on the ship and Sophie pushes Harriet into the water before jumping in herself before the Jolly Roger explodes. It's unclear who survives but it's implied that briefly the barrier was down.

---Back at Hades's place, while all this happens, the god of the underworld is paid a visit. He seems to expect it, going to his hidden stash and asking the uninvited vistor if he would like some wine. He doesn't get a response back so decides to drain the bottle himself pittering around his home wistfully murmuring: "'She will be a child of the sea; Chained to fae land, godly blood made mortal. Death’s attendant will be kind to her, protect her before his last breath. A coat of blood red will follow in her wake. And when the second star has risen. Then the realm of the dead and the sea shall be hers . And then the throne of Zeus will be hers, bringing upon a pantheon anew.' Or something like that, right sweetheart?"

---Hades says a few more things, basically implying that even though he knows the person with him in the room is going to kill him, that he'll come back again in another form. Death always needs attending to after all and death is one of the few things that humans still fear, still give power to. The person kills him, and just before he dies, Hades smiles, pressing a trembling kiss to Peresephone's lips as she pulls the dagger from the place where his heart would be if he were truly mortal.

And...that's how the Neverland arc would end! I'll come back and write the outline for the final arc if that's something folks are interested in.

Sorry again that I can't actually commit to writing this all out but I do have some scenes here and there written out that I had been saving.

Let me know your thoughts! Did this arc go the way you expect it to?

Also, remember, you can use some of these ideas, just give me credit and share so I can read and give you all the likes and kudos!

Eternally grateful for all the support ❤️

#we'll light the fuse #disney descendants #harry hook descendants #uma descendants #edream93 writes #edream93 outlines #edream93 fanfic #edream 93 fanfiction

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viceroysimp · 2 months

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meeting ms. fischer (drabble)

[gary/21 x gn!reader]

[very loosely tied to my gary fic but can be read separately]

[you & gary started dating during blue morpho arc & went to hs together at one point]

[i gave gary's mom a random name since she isn't named in show]

i've been sitting on this drabble for the last three months and decided to post it cause why not. enjoy!

“If she makes you uncomfortable at all, you say the word and we’re out of there!” Gary says firmly, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as you both pull into a residential area, having left the bustling city to a smaller suburban neighborhood.

“Gary, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s meeting your mom for heaven’s sake, not a Guild interrogation.” You chuckle, reaching over to place a soothing hand on Gary’s thigh and squeezing gently.

“I’ll take scaphism over this, any day.” Gary groans as he pulls into the driveway, glancing over at you, “You sure you want to do this? Because once you’re in there, my mom will talk your ear off, keep you prisoner.”

“Positive. Now let’s go.” You say with a grin and Gary sighs, unbuckling his seatbelt as he begrudgingly gets out of the car and unlocks the front door to his childhood home.

Being caught up in all the Blue Morpho drama when you first started dating, you and Gary both realized over dinner one night that he hadn’t let his mom know that he was dating let alone now had a significant other.

Needless to say, the moment he called her to let her know, she demanded that she needed to meet you as soon as possible.

An tan, energetic dog comes dashing towards the doorway the second Gary opens the door, immediately jumping on you with its tail wagging happily.

“Oh my god, Lady, no! Mooom, call the dog!” Gary yells out, gently tugging on the dog’s collar to get her off you.

“Gary, it’s fine!” You laugh as Lady happily licks at your hands as you try to pet the squirmy dog, “I didn’t even know you had a dog! How could you not tell me?”

“Technically, my mom got Lady after I moved out to become a henchman so she’s not really mine. She’s super friendly thankfully.” Gary sighed before wincing as he heard his mom’s voice calling from the kitchen.

“Gary, I told you to call me before you got here! I’m still making lunch for the two of you!”

“Mom, I said not to make anything! We had a late breakfast!” Gary groans, taking your hand and leading you to the kitchen.

As you walk into the kitchen, you see an older woman with the same shade of brown as Gary’s hair with slivers of gray showing through, hunched over the stove. She finally turns around, wiping her hands on a nearby kitchen towel as she sees you for the first time.

“Mom, this is my partner, [Your Name].” Gary introduces the two of you, squeezing your hand tightly.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Fischer.” You say politely, extending your hand but blink as instead you’re wrapped in a warm embrace instead.

“Oh my god, no need to be so formal! Call me Irene!” Ms. Fischer teases before pulling away to look at you full on, her eyes assessing you up and down before they widen, “Wait a second, I remember you!”

Gary and you glance at each other confused before saying in unison, “You do?”

“Weren’t you two in the same little comic book club, Gary? Remember you had that meeting here when the school kicked you out for trespassing, thinking you were an adult. I told you they were cute, didn't I?”

“You remember that far back? That was before I even turned 15!”

“I’m not that old, Gary!”

After Gary begrudgingly agreed to split the lunch his mom had prepared for the both of you, the three of you were squeezed together on the couch with Ms. Fischer sitting in the middle, a worn-out photo album in her lap, showing you page after page of baby photos of the henchman.

“Mom, don’t show her that one!” Gary protests, his cheeks red as he attempts to snatch the photo of him as a toddler wearing just a diaper with a plastic sword and a paper crown on his head.

Irene’s reflexes are too quick for him, dodging his large hand as she places the photo into your hands. “I swear, I could never get him to take off that darn crown once we went to Medieval Times.”

You reach across her lap to give Gary’s hand a firm squeeze, grinning at the cute photo, “It’s okay, Gare. You were such an adorable kid,” Your hand reached up to squeeze his cheek playfully, “And you got even more adorable as you got older.”

Gary smiles warmly, pressing a soft kiss on the inside of your wrist. Irene looks between the two of you with a look of admiration before clearing her throat, “Gary, those comics that you got shipped to our house are piling up in your room! Can you please go grab them?”

“Now mom? I can do that later…” His voice trailed off when his mother gave him a stern look. “Alright, fine! I’m going!” Gary groans, getting up from the couch, heading to his old room in the basement of the Fischer home, leaving you alone with Mrs. Fischer.

“I swear, I don’t know where he gets his stubbornness from.” Irene sighs before placing the photo album on the coffee table and turning to face you. “I just wanted to get you alone for just a second to say thank you for looking after my Gare Bear. He’s such a sweetheart and I worry about him doing all that dangerous stuff.”

“Of course, there’s so much to love about him and I’ve always got his back.” You say which Irene beams at, bringing you into an embrace and squeezing you tightly before pulling away, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“And if he ever does something stupid, you call me and I’ll whip him into shape!” She says pointedly to which you hear a groan echoing from your boyfriend as he ascends up the stairs, a box full of comics in his arms.

“I heard that, mom!”

On the drive back to your shared apartment, Gary makes you pinky promise not to tell the Monarchs about his mom’s nickname for him.

“Of course… Gare Bear.”

“[Your Name]!”

#henchman 21 #gary fischer #henchman 21 x reader #venture bros #venture bros drabble #gary x reader #the venture brothers #venture brothers

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fxtalitygod · 2 years

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≈𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞 ≈

Pairing: Broken!Husband!Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Summary: Satoru finally comes home after the "accident," but not without damage. You spend those hours in the white room with him as the days pass, waiting for his discharge...

Genre: Songfic ("The 30th" by Billie Eilish) & Angst

Warnings: Heavy Angst (little to NO comfort), MANGA SPOILERS (Bits of Hidden inventory arc to Shibuya Incident), NON-CANON (this was written before Gojo escaped), Implied episodes of amnesia, Vague implication of character death, mentions of night terrors (no desc), Depressive episodes, Gojo slightly OOC (Not entirely)

Word count: 4.6k

A/N: I truthfully had this brain rot the second I finished listening to "The 30th" by Billie Eilish. Although this song is about a car accident on a major road, I couldn't help but think of a possible outcome when and if Gojo escapes Prison Realm and how his significant other would react/handle the situation.

Anyways... my asks are still open if you want to ask questions, rant, or leave some friendly suggestions. Also, I'm opening a taglist for general posts. This doesn't mean I will close my taglist for any of the series I have (Only two), but I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested. The general taglist would include one-shots, short series, imagines, etc.

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules•

youtube

"Sometimes you look the same

Just like you did before the accident"

You looked at him, his white hair falling over his forehead and his eyes closed, hiding his cerulean eyes. It was as if nothing had ever happened to him. It was as if the events of the "accident" had never occurred. His breathing was steady, and his skin, despite being pale, still held its color. However, when you took a second look at him, you could still see the damage that had been dealt.

He was sleeping peacefully, but not without the occasional flinch and whimper. You could tell he was visualizing whatever he had seen in those days of captivity. Even when he would wake up, despite his usual cheery nature— he looked tired, like the life within him had been drained out of his being. Maybe it was the news that was dropped onto him with little to no warning or whatever he had witnessed in the void, it may have even been a mix of both, but it was leaving him depleted of any willpower.

You heard him mumble to himself when he thought you were sleeping or when he assumed you were lost in your thoughts. You heard him blame himself for being blindsided, for allowing himself to be vulnerable in an inappropriate situation, for letting his emotions get the best of him, for overthinking the crisis at hand, for setting himself over the edge. Satoru Gojo blamed himself for everything that had transpired that day.

Yet he still managed to fool everyone into thinking he was fine and that nothing had changed because Gojo Satoru was the strongest. There was nothing Gojo Satoru could not handle.

"When you're staring into space

It's hard to believe you don't remember it

Woke up in the ambulance"

There were moments when Satoru was quiet. The man was staring at the television, the ceiling, or the wall in front of him. In moments like these, you thought he was contemplating how he ended up in the room he was currently in. Eventually, you soon learned that he wasn't thinking about anything. Satoru's only focus was on whatever object he was fixed on, nothing more.

It hurt you to watch him so broken because you knew better than anyone else, even better than Satoru, that he was nothing more than human despite his unique abilities. People seemed to forget that when they referred to him as "The Strongest," even as he lay here damaged. You had even forgotten, thinking that he would pull through quicker than you had anticipated, but you were quickly reminded how human he really was when he uttered your name and a few dreaded words.

"Y/n, how did I get here?"

"You pieced it all together on the drive

I know you don't remember calling me"

You remember getting the call, Megumi on the other end of the line. The panic you heard from him had traumatized you alone as he updated you. The conversation was quick and raspy as the teenager spoke, clearly in a hurry. You could hardly process nor understand what he was saying, but the moment you heard Satoru's voice calling out from the other end of the line, the evident desperation for you to be at his side had you jumping out of your shared bed and rushing to your car, fumbling with the keys as you turned on the ignition.

There was no hesitation as you hopped onto the scene, entering the ambulance to be with your lover as you made your way to the hospital. Shoko stood there with you as you held his hand, letting tears slip past your eyes. He spoke with you the entirety of the drive, asking if you were okay and if you needed anything, which only caused your liquid emotion to intensify. You couldn't believe he was thinking of you at a time like this, in a moment where he needed more help than you did.

It was no secret that the man was trying to process everything until his present standing. When he fully understood his predicament, he squeezed your hand tighter, apologizing continuously. For what? You did not know, but you sat there trying to reassure him. Trying to calm him down.

The man soon became drowsy, kissing your knuckles before fading into sleep.

"But I told you, even then you look so pretty

In a hospital bed"

Satoru lay there, sleeping peacefully as you held his hand. It was one of the very few times he laid there unmoving, unbothered by the night terrors that would torture his mind. His chest moved up and down methodically, and his hold on your hand was soft. Despite your own need for sleep and nourishment, you refused to leave his side in case the tables were to suddenly turn.

You admired him, his features still as striking as ever. You wondered how he was capable of looking so effortlessly handsome at a time like this, how he managed to take your breath away. Sometimes you questioned why he was restrained to this hospital bed, mainly because you didn't want to acknowledge his predicament in the first place. You wanted to believe that he was fine, but you knew better than that.

Whatever happened in his time of containment was heavily affecting him. Whether it be mental or slight physical damage, either was the reason for his current position. The moment he became aware of your presence, you could see the change, the fear before he saw you, and the relief after you held his hand.

You were glad to know he was home, but you felt distressed when you saw Satoru's state. He was vulnerable, out for the world to see. It was one of his biggest fears, but he held his facade, keeping a bright smile. He kept himself up to date, rejecting your help despite your pleas to let you assist.

In a way, you admired Satoru for the strength he was showing— it made him beautiful to you, but it also worried you. However, there wasn't much you could do but listen and wait. So you watched him, his white locks brushing his forehead and his white lashes fluttering shut as he went into another slumber. You couldn't help but let out a soft smile as you leaned over his form, brushing his bangs away to lay a kiss on his forehead.

"You're so pretty," you whispered before he could completely drift off.

You received a hum in response, telling you that he acknowledged your comment before falling asleep. You continued to stay by his side, waiting for the next time he opened his eyes before you could leave and take care of yourself a bit.

"I remember you said you were scared

And so was I"

You don't remember exactly when you decided to rest your eyes, but you do remember rousing from your sleep, seeing Satoru wide awake as he stared at the ceiling. His mouth was moving as he spoke to himself, or at least you assumed he was. After a few seconds of listening to him chatter, you soon realized he was talking to you as he thought you were still asleep.

Before he could notice your conscious state, you closed your eyes so he would continue, so he would unknowingly confide in you. There were a few strings of apologies for the things he couldn't control and a few confessions of what he witnessed, but he said one statement that almost made you snap— that nearly made you leap up and embrace him.

"Y/n, I'm scared," Satoru breathed out, a slight crack in his voice.

The hold your partner had on your hand grew a little tighter. Out of reflex, you reciprocated his grip because you were scared too. You could feel him looking at you now, but you hadn't bothered to open your eyes. In all truthfulness, he didn't care if you were awake or not anymore. As long as you weren't pitying him, he would be comfortable.

"In a stand-still on the Five, though it was unusually early traffic

Usually, I don't panic, I just wanted to be on time

When I saw the ambulances on the shoulder, I didn't even think of pulling over"

It all happened so fast.

You remembered it like it had occurred only a few seconds ago. You were driving home from a mission. You were bloody and beaten, too physically and emotionally exhausted to think about anything besides getting home. Neither came from the assignment. It was the thought of your husband that drained you. The belief of if he would ever come back.

Every night, if you weren't sent on an abroad mission, you would come home and clean up, wanting everything to be perfect for the likely scenario of Satoru coming home, at least that is what you told yourself every day. So as you sat in the line of cars, you grew impatient. You honked your horn, flipped off a few people, and even began yelling in frustration. It was unlike you to get this upset, but it was also unlikely for the traffic to be so heavy.

Eventually, you saw the flashing red lights in the distance, signaling the emergency. You thought nothing of it as you didn't even bother to figure out why the emergency vehicles were there. You drove on by without a care in the world, only focused on your one task, finally getting out of the hold. From then on, your drive home was peaceful and quiet.

Despite the calm atmosphere, you felt strange, like you had neglected to notice something. The feeling bugged you all the way home. It nipped at you as you made dinner for two. It ate at you when you fixed your bed.

“I pieced it all together late that night"

The story was all over the news, but the details were vague. There hadn't been an accident, nor were there any convictions of crime, leaving people curious. Being in the profession of jujutsu sorcery, you naturally presumed that it was complications of a curse, having also felt powerful curse energy by the time you left the scene.

Before you could engross yourself in thought, the story on the news changed to a different report, stealing your attention. You listened to the rotating news reports as you cleaned your humble abode. You hardly paid attention as you only left the television running as background noise. It made your home feel fuller, as the silence would eat at you from the inside, reminding you of your husband's capture.

As you walked around the home, you couldn't help but pause when you heard how the cameras caught a glimpse of a man pulled off the scene. They never got a glimpse of the fellow's face, but they did manage to capture one thing that caught your eye.

The pair of shoes.

At first glance, they seemed like a standard pair of dress shoes, but there was something particularly familiar about those shoes. You turned your head to the doorway seeing your lonely pair of footwear by the door, imagining the abnormally large dress shoes that would stand beside yours. Turning back to the TV, you grabbed the remote and turned up the volume to see if any details would strike you.

Unfortunately, like any good TV broadcast, they changed the topic. Feeling frustrated for wasting your time, you decided to go to bed earlier. When you made it to your room, you couldn’t help but stare at the side where your tall lover would sleep. You remembered the late-night conversations, the nights of intimate embraces, and the nights where you silently held each other.

Now you lay there alone, and despite it being warm on recent nights, you couldn’t help but feel cold.

You stared at the ceiling, reflecting on today. There were multiple things you could comment on and numerous occurrences you could list that had gone wrong, but you couldn't focus on those inconveniences. You could only think of Satoru and blame yourself for not being there despite knowing you were unaware of the crisis. It wasn't until Yaga relayed the word to you, giving you his condolences.

Closing your eyes, you tried to fall asleep, but a sudden noise woke you.

Three rings are all it took for you to begin panicking as you saw the display of Megumi's name on your phone; three buzzes told you that something happened to your husband, whether it be good or bad; three vibrations were going to make or break you in a matter of seconds.

"And I know you don't remember calling me

But I told you, even then you looked so pretty"

You sat there with him as he took the medicine Shoko had prescribed. You never thought you would see the day Satoru had to take any type of cure-all to handle an ailment. Yes, the shaman had gotten sick in the past, but never to the point where he had to use a remedy, as his reverse cursed energy was enough to have him bouncing back in no more than a day.

When you went to pick up the medication from Shoko, you initially thought it was an excuse to communicate in private. When you arrived at her office, you were surprised when she handed you the bottle of capsules. She explained how the reverse cursed energy wouldn't do much in his particular case as it was so much more than physical impairment— as a matter of fact, physical impairment was hardly the problem at hand.

Before she could go into detail, you received a phone call. Without even looking, you answered. You didn't know what to expect, you naturally assumed that it had to do with Satoru, but you could've also been wrong. Ever since your husband had been checked in to the hospital, you had neglected to go on any assignments as you were afraid of leaving Satoru by himself for anything more than a few hours. Despite knowing your position, Yaga had tried to convince you to pitch in on both your and Satoru's tasks, as things were starting to get hectic with the world's strongest sorcerer being fettered to a hospital cot. You had denied him multiple times, pulling some strings and cashing in favors you had saved up for this moment.

Eventually, the administration left you alone, rationalizing that it would be better for you to stay by Satoru's side despite their bitterness toward the idea. However, if the need were dire, you would presumably have no choice but to leave for whatever expedition they would assign you. Unfortunately for you, there wouldn't be much you could do if that occurrence were to appear.

"Y/n, where are you?" Satoru groggily asked.

The second his voice registered in your head, you were quick to check the time. You had been absent for about four hours from running errands. In a panic, you waved Shoko farewell before leaving the building. Your mind was stirring— a little disappointed with yourself for neglecting to check the time sooner.

You had left when Satoru had fallen asleep. At that time, you assumed you could vacate for a couple hours as it was one of his more peaceful resting times. The truth is, what scared you most about leaving Satoru by himself was his current vulnerability. For people out to seek vengeance against him, this was the prime time for them to do so.

"Satoru, I need you to listen to me. Do not let anybody in the room, even the doctor," you directed, the urgency in your voice too transparent to miss as you sprinted towards your car.

Before you could hear your partner's response, the line was cut off. You cursed at the poor reception and hopped in your car, practically speeding to get to the hospital. It did not take long to end up in front of the building, quickly pulling out your ID for the nurses to grant you access. Your blood was pumping, but not due to your fast pace, but rather the perturbation of if Satoru even heard your last statement.

When you made it to the room, you saw that the door was ajar. Out of fear and panic, you rushed into the room to see a nurse dropping off a meal tray, quickly walking over and retrieving it from his grasp. You could see the slight pity in his eyes as he watched you place the tray on the side table. In a way, you were embarrassed, but you justified that you had every right to be concerned; however, you couldn't inform anybody that wasn't aware of the situation and that string of events.

You looked over at the man with snow-white hair, only to see that he was fast asleep.

"Was he awake when you arrived?" You suddenly asked.

A little stunned by your spontaneous question, the nurse took a moment to answer. Maybe it was because of your current intimidating stance or that he was trying to retrace his steps, but he seemed almost hesitant to give a response, mainly afraid of giving you the wrong answer. However, once he had finished thinking about his response, he came to his deduction.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, he was asleep by the time I got here."

Letting out a deep sigh, you uttered a quick "thank you" before taking a seat. You massaged your temples, endeavoring to relieve your stress before Satoru woke up. Seeing that you were distressed, the nurse left the room with a silent goodbye as he gently closed the door.

After an hour, your spouse rose from his much-needed rest. Groaning, he looked over and almost jumped back when he laid his eyes upon you. For a moment, you thought something was lingering behind you as you turned around quickly to only be met with a couple of drapes.

"Y/n, I thought you went to visit Shoko?"

Now it was your turn to be stunned. Had you imagined the phone call from your recent stress? Had you misinterpreted the voice on the other line? Maybe it would've been a good idea to check?

Deciding to make sure you weren't losing your sanity, you pulled out your phone. Checking your call log, you noticed that you had, in fact, picked up a call, but it wasn't Satoru's number; Moreover, it was the landline from the hospital— the number you saved in your phone in case of any emergencies.

Looking up from your phone, you merely gazed at your husband. You made sure to reveal no signs of the empathy you felt for him, knowing it would only upset him. Completely burying your intrusive thoughts to be there with him.

"Is everything alright? Why are you looking at me like that?" Satoru asked suddenly.

"Yeah, everything is fine...you just look so pretty," you uttered softly, kissing the back of his hand.

"In a hospital bed

I remember you said you were scared"

Gojo Satoru was no idiot. He knew that something was going on; he wouldn't deny that. However, he would be damned if he were to grovel and feed into his own self-pity. Satoru concluded that he would serve his time until his discharge, rationalizing that it would be easier to "go with the flow" rather than fight it; moreover, he was very accepting of whatever treatments he received, taking it all with a smile on his face. As long as it meant he would get to leave sooner and if it brought you peace of mind, he would endure any medical therapy to come home. Gojo Satoru's the strongest, and nothing could make him back down.

At least that is what he told himself.

Gojo Satoru was indeed terrified at this very moment. There had only been one other time he had experienced fear as great as this, and that is when he first encountered Fushiguro Toji, a man whom he made no effort to mention if not needed. He had so much he had wished to accomplish, only to realize that there was a possibility that he would never get to live out those accomplishments, at least not from his current position— in a hospital bed within a sterilized room

However, there was still more that scared him. You. Satoru was well aware that you could take care of yourself— he knew that for a fact. What really scared him was the thought of holding you back. The shaman was cognizant of how you were putting off missions; he knew you were cashing in favors to spend more time with him. Yaga had called him one day to ask him to convince you to take a mission, but some desirous part of him decided not to tell you. He didn't know if it was because he knew your response or if it was out of his own selfishness. What he did know was that either way, you would have stayed. So would it have really mattered if he were to have mentioned it?

In the end, Satoru knew he should have told you, despite knowing how you would respond. It would've been nice to give you a choice, but he was too scared to see you go, and Satoru told you that directly. That is the reason he'd called you that day. Because he was afraid that you weren't coming back. Despite not remembering, when you made it known that he had called you, uncovered that fear all over again.

"Y/n, I'm scared," He suddenly admitted as you pulled the bottled medicine Shoko had provided earlier.

"And so was I"

"I know, Satoru," You solemnly replied.

You knew it wasn't the first time he had uttered those words, but at this moment, he told you out in the open; although it was just the two of you in the room, you could tell he felt exposed. Satoru felt helpless and vulnerable. Never in his entire life had he felt this way. Never in your whole life had you seen him so powerless.

"I am too, Satoru," you whispered, whipping a stray tear.

Before you could deny your partner, he tugged on your hand, pulling you into the cot, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, and tucking your head under his chin. In a way, you felt guilty for having him comfort you, but that guilt soon faded when you felt his forehead against your crown. This was for both of you because right now, you both were fearful of what was to come.

So the two of you stayed there, lying in each other's arms. The atmosphere was far from tranquil, but as long as you were there with Satoru. As long as you could hold him, you could care less about whether the atmosphere was peaceful. However, that didn't mean thoughts didn't run rancid in your mind.

You lie awake that night, listening to Satoru's steady heartbeat as you set your ear to his chest, still having second thoughts about whether his presence was real or not. Sometimes, listening to his heartbeat, sensing his cursed energy, and watching his chest move up and down wasn't enough to convince you. There were moments you questioned if this was nothing but an illusion and that you had finally snapped.

It was all up until you felt the cold metal band around his finger did you realize that Gojo Satoru was real and that he was here with you.

Despite your relief, sometimes you couldn't help but keep your thoughts from running rancid in your mind. You couldn't help but think of the worst-case scenario. Sometimes you would ask yourself:

"What if it happened to you on a different day?"

"On a bridge where there wasn't a rail in the way?"

"Or a neighborhood street where the little kids play?"

"Or the Angeles Crest in the snow or the rain?"

"What if you weren't alone?"

"There were kids in the car"

"What if you were remote?"

"No one knows where you are"

"If you changed anything, would you not have survived?"

Yet, in the end, you would always chant this exact phrase continuously:

"You're alive"

Because in the end, it didn't matter if those scenarios had happened. Your significant other was here with you now. In your arms, Satoru's pulse is stable, and his breath is continuous. Nothing could end this moment, right?

"And I don't know you don't remember calling me

But I told you even then you looked so pretty"

You sat in that chair, admiring your lover as he held your hand, waiting patiently. For what? You had rather not say, as you would like to think it was just a bluff. Unfortunately, you found it true when Shoko walked into the room, shaking her head.

You held back your tears, knowing it was for the best. That is what you told yourself, but it was tearing you apart to leave your lover's side. You couldn't leave him, not when he still needed you... not when he still needed you...

Just as you were about to refuse, Yaga appeared suddenly from around the corner, giving you an all too familiar look...

Pity.

"Y/n, it's time to go," Yaga announced, attempting to approach you, only for Shoko to stop him as she whispered something in his ear.

With a nod and a slight wave, Yaga left the room, taking one last look at the scene before disappearing into the hallway. You could only let out a stuttered breath you had been holding as you turned to look at Satoru, giving him a weak smile. These next few seconds would have to be the most formidable action you would have to do...

Saying goodbye.

"Y/n, what's wrong?"

It hurt you to hear him say that because he was the one who called you to tell you that Yaga and Shoko had arrived in the first place. He informed you that they were there to take you away. You remembered his panic and frustration when you entered the room alone, managing to have the two visitors stand by for a minute.

"Nothing, you just look so pretty," you sobbed out slightly, leaning over to peck his lips, resting your forehead against his before taking your leave.

"In your hospital bed

I remember you said you were scared"

It startled you to feel his hand grab yours, the desperation behind the action as clear as day. You held back those droplets or rather streams of liquid emotion as he looked at you, practically giving you doe eyes. Satoru squeezed your hand, nearly telling you to stay a little longer, but he could only tell you how he felt.

"I'm scared, Y/n."

He sounded so broken. It was as if his memory had struck again, remembering everything before your arrival. You couldn't contain your tears anymore as they slipped out one at a time. You attempted to get ahold of yourself, but it was futile. Satoru's words had broken you in more ways than one. Why? Because you knew something he didn't know and something he would never understand.

"And so am I."

You weren't coming back.

"So am I," you blurted, walking yourself over to kiss your husband one last time.

That kiss ruined you, as you had a second mind to rebel and refuse to leave, but then you felt her hand upon your shoulder as you parted from Satoru. Sighing, you squeezed your lover's hand one last time before leaving the room. You heard him call out to you one last time. You listened as he attempted to pursue you before he was detained by Shoko, who told him to not get up, but you couldn't bear to look at him.

Because if you had...

You would have gone running back to him...

You would have ran back into that white room to be with him.

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