#its so disgusting and it makes me so angry

[joesalw]

putting this here bc this blog feels like a safe space as a someone whos always been very critical of taylor despire also loving her art… plus im far too afraid to put this on main so :/

i remember back in 2023 when the whole matty ratty thing was going on, and as a jewish fan i felt completely disgusted she would even allow someone so gross and bigoted into her life. i was part of the #speakupnow campaign with other fans, i felt so desperate to make it all end and for her to condemn that man… but she didn’t. she only distanced herself. i was at least partially satisfied she stopped associating with him, and i still considered myself a fan for that reason, but the pain i felt of betrayal to her most marginalised fans never really went fully away no matter how much i tried to stuff it down.

flash forward to now. i was ready for this album, excited even to get new music, only to receive a disjointed wreck of an album that was largely defending a relationship with a neonazi freak. i feel stunned and angry. i was already growing a dislike towards her because of the whole billionaire/ecoterrorist/politically silent thing but i told myself i can still like the music and be critical or her actions at the same time. now i’m not so sure i feel that way anymore. i feel ashamed and stupid and lied to. i spent so much time and money on her only for her to continue to lowkey simp for a racist misogynistic weirdo on top of all the other shit??? idk.

i feel like i’m looking for validation from others my anger and hurt is justified, that its okay to change my mind about taylor swift, that i can still acknowledge the positive impact her art had on me and not want to support the current path shes on right now because it is hurting people and i can’t stand by and watch any longer or else i’m complicit, that i can grieve the trust i put in her to be a better person that she’s been acting like in the past year or so. i hope this ask is of no bother to you, i just saw your ex swifties tag and felt like maybe this would be a good time to speak my truth.

Your anger and hurt is completely justified, the main purpose of my ex swiftie tag is for this discussion. We are all feeling the same resentment towards her. And it's valid because we wasted so much time loving her and defending her and now it's like she's completely a different unrecognizable person, a person that's doing everything against the things she once she stood for. You may call this being parasocial but she's to be blamed for that for deliberately creating this parasocial relationship with her fans. Like dropping easter eggs, secret sessions, clues about exes, sharing diary pages etc etc as a marketing scheme to profit her branding.

#anti taylor swift #ex swiftie rants #ex swifties

[unforth]

Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.

Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).

I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.

I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!

If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?

Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.

#unforth rambles #end racism in the otw #end otw racism #i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag #now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS #WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND #(i do understand #its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest #from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly #im honestly gettibg so disgusted #do better white fandom) #im a jewish white woman with biracial kids #it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join #im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough #for fear of what they'll be exposed to here #do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is? #note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals #yall are awesome and ilu #but i only have about 75 mutuals #what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!! #everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me! #and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead! #and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is. #but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’ #like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it. #i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

[angelshimaa]

no because how do you sit and feel proud about taking someone else's work and presenting it as your own???

#— rambles ⋆·ʚ⁺ #its making me irrationally angry 😭 #is your brain so small that you cant bother coming up with something original???? #disgusting pieces of rat shit

[nthflower]

Reading canon wolvie comics makes you truly realise butch wolverine realness only exists on your beautiful mutual circle. Reality is whatever this is.

#god this makes me seriously so angry #poc women is just fuel to make him more angsty and they are just poc because it adds him exoticness #like its disgusting #n.cb #sometimes man hurts every women because he should be maimed post but its about this wolverine

[quodekash]

youre freaking kidding 

i didnt know how i would feel about the deaf component of this show, considering gemini is a hearing person playing a deaf character and i wasnt sure how to feel about that 

but oh my freaking goodness his own freaking mother hasnt even bothered to learn freaking sign language

she just makes him write everything on a notepad. and that doesnt even happen often cos shes barely ever home. and his dad is also barely in his life 

li ming has known heart for a few months, and he can already talk to heart at an almost fluent level

and yet his own freaking mother cant even be bothered to learn a couple signs so she can have a worthwhile freaking conversation with her freaking SON

its been THREE FREAKING YEARS

LEARN SOME FREAKING SIGN LANGUAGE YOU STUPID WOMAN

#sorry i feel very strongly about this #how. in three freaking years. do you not learn sign language for your deaf son #thats 1095 days. #she couldve at least learnt one word a day or something #i know shes not home much but one word a day isnt much #especially when its your FREAKING SON #she doesnt even let him leave the house #he has LITERALLY NO ONE TO TALK TO #NOT EVEN. HIS OWN. FREAKING. M O T H E R. #HOW #HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN #ITS FREAKING DISGUSTING #and whats even worse is there are definitely people out there who are actually like this. mothers who dont care. #mothers who wont bother to accomodate for their child's disability. #it makes me so freaking angry #quodekash watches moonlight chicken immediately after watching 1000stars #mlc #moonlight chicken #heartliming #limingheart #geminifourth #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #moonlight chicken series #moonlight chicken the series #mlc heart #heart mlc

[coccolithophore]

i feel sad today -_-

#i think cuz cancer fucked up a lot of aspects of my physical health #and i feel like i should be happy #but all i can think of is how often i get sick and being allergic to things that used to make me happy cuz of my immune system #and having covid ravage my body last fall #and how much discomfort i was in and how now i dont notice when im in pain because everything else pales #and how i can only exercise in fits and starts because all the complications make it virtually impossible to maintain long term #and how psychically horrible it was having to drive there every day for 6 weeks #and be so itchy and feel so disgusting and ruin a bunch of my clothes #and have to throw out every comfortable piece of clothing in my closet because i couldnt look at them anymore #after wearing them every day for the entire radiation and then MONTHS after because i didnt recover like i should have #its all making me feel raw and sensitive and angry #and so everyone and everything is making feel frustrated and hurt #its great! #kiwis cancer diaries

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

5, 7, 16, 18

OFC for Bryce & Jensen, but feel free to tell me about Kennedy, too.

And answer this one MF. lol JK JK

thanks for the ask lol (i think ill save kennedys for another time as im currently working more on their character)

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

none of my characters are cis/straight so for me its just a matter of figuring out What they are, not If they are. jensens was pretty easy to figure out ngl bc he has a very similar standpoint as i do. i gave him a label coming into the fandom, but as time has gone on i realized that he is just not a person for labels and just prefers to Be (like myself). his aspec identity took a little longer just bc i was trying to write him as allo and shocker i failed, so after admitting that maybe he wasnt the rest just fell into place

okay and bryces i knew since like,, book 2. i came into the fandom everyone and their mother was having a fit that bryce wasnt proposing to mc by book 1 but like,, did we ever consider that that was for a reason? maybe the fact that he took 3 books to even want a relationship had something to do with him being demiro? (but no, ofc not, bc god forbid we expect the allos and straights to willingly admit that characters might be aspec). n e ways hes so obviously demiro and to see that erased may hurt my aspec self a little but thats fine :') as far as him being pan, he will just flirt with anyone and everyone all the time and it is a threat. he doesnt give two fucks about gender, if he vibes w someone, he's interested, and thats been clear since day one

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

not really, no. jensen is still,, iffy on gender (its so hard for him to explain like he doesnt really relate to the idea of being a man but masculinity is fine but he doesnt quite feel androgenous or anything Else enough to go by they/them pronouns--its just a lot for him lol) so thats something that he def questions a lot. but as far as sexuality, hes perfectly comfortable going by queer/grayace and thats what feels right to him. same for bryce, hes comfortable and confident in his identities, so nothing would really make him question it

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

yes ofc bc they develop and evolve like actual people, not just stagnant character sheets. jensen wasnt aspec originally, nor did he go by queer. i changed it bc, as i got to understand and know this version of him better, i realized he 1. wasnt allo lol but 2. wouldn't have been too keen on labels, either

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

it depends honestly. i think choices fandom (and people in general) is overly obsessed w character sexuality labels (considering how many straight creators there are and how few queer creators there are). honestly i wouldve loved to leave jensen label-less/unspecified because realistically i think thats just how he is (even if people ask, even about his aspec identity, he'll just say queer bc he doesnt really care), but coming into the fandom, that didnt really feel like an option. and for characters like bryce, im happy to label him because i feel that its an important part of his character, not just in my hc but should be important in all hcs. im happy to label him bc, not only do i find it important as an aspec person to see that aspec representation (considering that nearly everyone in this fandom would cry if they had to actually accept that characters in relationships can still be aspec--especially confirmed aspec characters, but thats for another time), but i also think its just a huge part of his character and something he would be really proud of

#thanks for the ask :) #the absolute aphobia of choices fandom and actually all fandoms is so disgusting to me #and the fact that people would literally rather try to rewrite or explain away bryces behavior in the books #than using the perfectly logical explanation of him being demiro #is absolutely horrific and embarrassing #a fandom i used to be in literally had an aspec main character and people would say no actually i think they should be this #bc literally. god. fucking. forbid. there be aspec characters #aka i literally hate everyone all the time and have a lot of pent up rage about this topic in particular but its fine #everyone just keep writing your allo bryces. bc that makes so much sense. #was gonna say sorry for the rant but i dont even care i am just allowed to be angry about this #jensen valentine #bryce lahela #asks answers

[leclercenjoyer]

.

#its not every day a fic makes me actively angry instead of just weary with disgust! but here we are! #especially since its a trope i usually enjoy #id go out and touch grass about it but all the grass is covered in snow so. ill just silently rage instead

[ironmanstan]

.

#part two omg <333 #u can tell i originally was gonna tweet this and then it spiralled out of control to the point it got too long for tumblr tags. anyway #sometimes i just think about things and i get sooo mad lmao . i knew i was trans probably since i was like 11 #meanwhile was so fucked up about this i just ignored it and slowly let it eat me alive for years and years until i hit my brink . #makes me so mad how the few like 'tolerant' and 'accepting' people around here act where theyre like #oh you can be that way but just ignore it <3 dont act on it <3' . you people would rather me go back to #being a suicidal 12 year old instead of actually existing and being happy. you people who know shit all about what i go through #its insanely funny to me too like compared to a large amount of people i am like extremely religious . i have #so much of the quran mf MEMORIZED. A SOLID CHUNK OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK. MEMORIZED #I CAN RECITE THE VERSES FROM IT IN PROPER FORM. i know more than my own dad does and yet. #everyone around me who isnt this at all is like oh yes we know sooo much about everything and this is #soooo gross and disgusting and perverted and sick and evil right maryam. yeah it sure fucking is besties <3 #i can be everyones token poster child of having Envious amounts of knowledge and a role model for every future hafidha . #and yet you all only like me because you have to and youd all hate me if you knew anything about me #if you read all this my bad i am just crazy and angry and insane #i will go back to normal later i just need to be insane for a minute lollll #sometimes im like 'why am i so angry. why do i have ptsd' and then i remember how everyone around me is #vent #part two !!!!! wao <333

[mrfoox]

I hate this time of the month like fuck this shit fuck it all

#I think either my antidepressants working for my severe moodwings... Bc ive just been crying a little bit easier than usual #Instead of 'ok a small inconvenience now i am seconds away from cuttn myself or worse' #But something i cant escape from is the pains... And nausea. My back is hurting and my stomach is doing an uproar. #And as usual theres the period puups... Why do i have to do that like at least 3 times per day? Normally its once but then this happens #And foe two days its like naw... You take 1000 steps? We need to empty the whole system /: #People who feel somewhat normal during this week and can do everything normally are super humans. I just feel disgusting and in discomfort #And or pain. And thus im so freaking tired like... I havent done anything special today... I washed a machine of clothes ... But im exhaus #The fact periods are so shitty makes me so angry like f off. I don't need to emulate how bad I'd feel if i was pregnant i am not stop #Miranda talking shit #tmi tag

[achilleslyre]

i see these ppl sometimes going on these massive rants about how ppl who ship xyz have zero reading comprehension or no critical analysis and i’m always just staring at those posts like 😑😑 cause it’s literally always just a silly little gay ship. like don’t get me wrong if u dislike it idgaf and u have every right not to like it. mass majority of the time *i* don’t like it or simply don’t care but. just block the tag bro? like if it seriously bugs u THAT much that ur saying u get genuinely pissed off every time u see it. just…. use the filters. i get not everyone tags their shit but lots do. block ppl that make that content a lot. idk what to tell you. like i get complaining about it if it was an actually problematic ship but mass majority of the time it’s literally two guys who are friends and also frankly look gay. yes blah blah blah friendships matter but also it’s rlly not that deep as long as the ship isn’t causing harm. some of y’all are simply just haters. sincerely signed, a hater.

#this isnt about ppl that are like ‘i dont like x ship’ btw #its about the ppl that let the fact they dont like that ship genuinely impact their emotions to the point they feel so angry and negative #anytime they see it #its also not about ppl that are upset about genuinely disgusting and problematic ships. ur anger is valid. it’s literally just about #ppl getting upset about two friends being shipped together #and yea i get the point somewhat of like ‘read critically’ but some ppl still do they just. enjoy shipping #i think reading critically is a lot more important about. reading the story. and what the underlying criticism of society the story is #trying to tell. and the impact that certain things have. and ways of forming ur life as a person. rather than just ‘nooo u can’t ship those #2 characters bc i know that they wouldnt’ #u just sound silly to me #(says the person sounding silly by making this post. its ok) #this doesnt even matter but ive seen like 3 posts about in in the past little bit #and im just… its rlly not that deep #u have every right to complain about it but i also have every right to complain about u complaining #so thats what im doing #and dont get me wrong there are a lot of ships where i look at it and im like ‘are yall fr? is that rlly what yall are doin?’ #but to genuinely let a silly little ship bug u thattttt much that u get angry everytime u see it #like whats u pr issue then? i dont get why u dont block it #remove sources from ur feed like #its NOT that deep #this is frankly coming from someone who rarelyyy has strong opinions on ships but #it’s literally *just* a ship man #it’s not that deep but also their complaining isnt so deep that i need to make this post complaining but #if theyre a hater im a hater too

[nagitoedit]

uhm

#also i need to put it somehwere because im still scared and angry and shaking and nauseous but i think i have realized i have #a really weird stupid trauma thats probbaly idnt at all and that it is why im so weird about . that #and realizing that for years now its been like ive been completely unintentionally unknowingly self harming without even realizing #because it never registered as that just as an accident or regret and would leave me feeling nauseous and gross and just this #inexplicable but strong Bad Feeling like #everything was bad and realizing that ive thought this whole time i dontreally have intrusive thoughts but i do but theyre just of #this one very very specific topic and its upsetting its so upsetting it disgusts me so much #but uhm whatever i guess. i guess i should ask my counselor about it because oh god this is bad #discovering this like over a decade deep rooted trauma it feels like discovering i have like a horrible instense lethal illness #thats been festering for over a decade #but it makes so much sense like something that id been so sensitive and weird about for a decade for no apparent reason but #like the reason is a huge glaring light but i just never realized #and i dont even know if what set me off is real if i just imagined it or something i just feel out of it i feel so bad and i kindof hate my #myself i just dont knwowhat to do #i dont know how . to bring it up to fix it because i feel so scared and ashamed aout it

[coelakanths]

man i used to make ocs that were so monogamous and committed to each other with serious and loving relationships. now i make like ten characters and they all fuck and hate each other

#*wiping away tears* ive grown so much #ive got some characters and i can make every possible relationship between them work #like. eating angels for example. damien verne marcie and q #they could ALL date they have ALL fucked #damien and verne roommates to lovers… obsessed with each other’s company fun sleepovers etc #they’re the most wholesome LMAO #damien and marcie oh my god. barely knew each other then marcie beat the shit out of him then damien is her queer awakening like hello? #damien and q best friends to enemies to its complicated to mutually assured destruction to damien killing them in cold blood… #they’ve fucked. so much. my god #halfway thru an argument they just start slobbering over each other #marcie and verne… verne is just sexy and angel bait ok. marcie is so angry flustered. they’re so confused WHY am i in love with you etc #marcie and q is so fucked up they’d do anything for him anything they would kill and they have #and q just gives her NOTHING!!!! they’re so fucking delicious to me tbh #q and verne. verne is IN MAD GAY LOVE WITH Q. this is actual canon ok i wrote this in. it’s disgusting #most fucked up love square of all time my god #q dicit #they’re so fun. sorry #ocs

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

the internet is full of wonders and all kinds of people truly ... people sure are diverse on here ..... . . .. . it's a bit funny seeing someone have a real life that's completely opposite than you in everyway

#ngl sometimes it makes me angry bc ill talk w someone and i KNOWWWW this person is racist although not outwardly #like i just know if i told this person im from the middle east they'd be like oh .. youre .. undeveloped... oh ur like. uneducated #like #???????? it shows so fucking much in their speech #so disgusting #ive stopped trying to white wash myself tbh #my discord handle is a very obviously arab feminine name that i used to be embarrassed abt in englisj servers but #fuck that #deal witb it #cope and seethe #some ppl other than you and ur skintone exist :/// #other countriees and its ppl exist #smfh