#its so late i wasted so much time

[chalkodareal]

decemberween's not TECHNICALLY here yet but by jove is it comin' soon! 4 days! wow! this stuff is based around "the best decemberween ever" because its the most recent one i watched but if i'm feeling real stoked tomorrow i might do some art about the other ones! yippee!

#ive been keeping up with the decemberweenvent calender #that has been fun and its made me feel a lot less depressed about how much time i waste #i like these funny little animal guys and im hoping they also do some sort of decemberween special proper this year #but even if they dont #what they're doin right now is absolutely great and im happy to have this series still active even after i come so late #homestar runner #hsr #h*r #coach z #marzipan #strong bad #the cheat #CHALKO DRAWING TAG

[marioyuri]

Trying to buy a backwards compatible ps3 and its high time i commit suicide or get a job

#im so poor lately. and im trying to save for the inevitable switch 2 drop in 2025. too #im so. fucked #i am NOT selling anything i own ever again i want to kill myself judt thinking about all the games i sold as a kid and got taken advantage #I WAS 10 WHY DID MOM LET ME BARGAIN WITH A BIG CHAIN STORE #FUCKING HATE THESE PARENTS #whyd you tell him ur game was second hand 😡 GIRL IM 10 IM 10 IM FUCKING 10 AND I JUST WANTED THE NEW POKEMON GAME THAT WASNT WORTH IT !!!!!! #WHY DID THEY HAVE ME PLAYING ECONOMIST SINCE I WAS 7 NOW I HAVE ISSUES #always praising me for being the best at money but i had no fun ever #lately ive decided i can do whatever i want with my moneu #ive been buying so many plushies and useless waste of time pins and games i could just pirate #and im poor now. im poor. im so poor its suicidal #i should stop eating so much bruh SAVE SOEM KONEY #its like i wanted to give my youngerself everything i couldnt as a kid and now i beat myself up about it bc its such . a waste of money #idiot baka money #I HOPE THE SYSTEM COLAPSES #fuckkkk but the joys of owning physical copies. yay #I HAVE TO OWN THOSE METAL GEAR SOLID EDITION COPIES I SAW AT THE STOREEE #DUDE THE FUCKING HD COLLECTION #THE STUPID COLLECTION W THE BOOK AND EVERYTIHNG #I ALMOST GUT MYSELF #I HAVE TO OWN IT. I HAVE TO OWN IT. #i cant afford it #my birthday was in January and i wasted all of that money already #holy fuck im so suicidal #im such a waste of money #kilking myseld JOW #NOW #fufkffffffffff #hitting my own head ​STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID #my posts

[doom-dreaming]

crazy how much less time i spend on tumblr when i have the freedom and space to do other things

#'you're on your phone so much' #well mother it's one of the least objectionable leisure activities i can do in your presence aside from coloring #without being lectured about how i'm wasting my time and should be looking for jobs 24/7 #what if the job i have paid me a living wage? #what if we weren't being slowly sandpapered to death by late-stage capitalism? #what if i killed you and/or myself? #my vision is going black at the edges as this week nears its end

[lostintime-liketearsinrain]

New year, same shitty mental illness 💔

#first day back in work today and it was difficult #it's strange #I've done this job for 8 years yet I'm struggling with it so much of late #the mundane aspect of it #feeling of wasting my time #I legit had a breakdown at one point today where my head spiralled and just thought what's the point of it all #like I don't know what's up with me of late #like i feel crazy #like I'm lost but have no real reason to be #I'm lucky. I have a job. a roof over my head. food in the cupboards and a loving family etc #yet my brain just feels numb and dark #I know it's the mental illness but it's draining of late #I think it's time to go back to the doctors #discuss some stronger meds and perhaps find a therapist #I'm 33 now and I just want to have a normal life with someone I love and a future to look forward to #right now all I feel is alone and I keep people at arms length because I'm damaged goods and its easier then letting them down #… its 1am right now and I'm just rambling #im sharing this stuff because it's healthier to be out with it then keep it bottled up #this is my blog after all #I don't want nor expect peoples sympathy or attention from this either #we all struggle and while I feel I have no one right now. I will always have this blog to share my thoughts without judgement #i will get better #i will get through this #…. #mental illness #depression #tw depression #trigger warning #personal

[fizzyghosts]

🥀

#lines lines lines #hes a little crunchy but im too lazy to digitally fix this so eh #i wasted so much time on this lol #fallen london #fallen london oc #if you were wondering about the perspective on the window then the answer is no you're not #also i painted one line at an angle and it was too late to go back i had to commit #anyway its a poet and a thief and he likes attention please pay attention to it he needs a minimum of 10 walkies a day #or else it starts chewing on the couch

[red-dyed-sarumane]

it's overwhelming love & appreciation of kyuuyaku hankagai hours and by hours i mean its all im listening to for the next 3 days minimum

#this is THE!!!!!!! song ever to me. saying i love it isnt enough #its so everything #can u believe i almost never listened to my fave song ever. bc i didnt recognize magus name so i was like well its probably not that import #ant. so i was like 2 days late in listening #i was thinking last night like. kyuuyakus the reason im into the series. if i never listened to it im not entirely sure maximizer wouldve #convinced me to get into it. like 100% i do think maximizer deserves its popularity but listening to Just That without any context id #probably be like. yeah its neat. & not think too much into it. #the only hope wouldve been if i listened to oumen like aside form tenshi & series things thats like My Genre of song. #i love everysingle song so much btw. to be clear. but genuinely i would not care this much about the series if i wasnt for catching #the motif at the end on my like second listen &going. now wait a second. thats intentional. these are connected. #anyway if i need to waste time tonight maybe ull get an essay from me. i have thoughts that ive definitely said before #these tags arent why i love it btw im just thinking

[arolesbianism]

Ohhhh no it just occured to me that Im probably gonna be seeing a unbearable hoard of bad aro hcs in the dst tag this month huh. Uhhhh gentle reminder that just because Wx used to be human doesn't make hcing them as aro risk free pls be careful with that. Aro ppl who hc them as aro ur fine keep up the good work 👍

#rat rambles #dst #wx-78 #like theyre arospec in my hcs so I wish I could be happy abt the idea of seeing aro wx stuff but alas I do not trust ppl with aro hcs #in casw youre curious the quick rundown of potential wx aro problems #just because they used to be human the aro robot trope could still become a problem if you chose to tie it to their empathy module #like thats quite possibly the worst thing you could do like thats fucked on so many levels #relating to that is the risk of evil aro and emotionless aro shit #this doesnt necesarily mean saying their aro because their evil directly but I dont have time to go too into detail since I need to shower #oh but one last thing mean aro is also a thing #rly the big thing is just like. think abt how you would word your reason for hcing them as aro #for example if its like yeah I think theyre too busy planning world domination to care abt romance then I am very much not a fan lol #because that kind of stuff rly ties together romantic attraction and relationships in a way I rly dont like #like idk. if theres a character that considers friendship a waste of time we wouldnt say theyre incapable of liking ppl #it just heavily simplifies the aro experience in a way that can also easily lead to other writing issues #for example the framing of aromanticism as a personal disinterest in dating gives room for a specific reason theyre not interested in it #for example. being a robot. or being evil. fun stuff like that #ok god its late I cant keep going on like this idk I might talk abt it more at another point or if I see ppl being dumb lol

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#hmmmm. #so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry #would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out. #similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things #i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts #directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments. #im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl #(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.) #-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO. #its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way #so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.) #how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem??? #however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao. #bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence #i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao. #its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance #&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao #bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao. #its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao #the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao. #i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level. #either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew #before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO. #at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies #i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress. #... lmao.

[lemon-wedges]

....

#lately its been hard to get back into my bgs studies #especially that now fanart and commissions have made me more money than any of my 'professional' art ever has #its not even a LOT of money but enough to let me even think about planning a day out with a friend without worry #idk man!!!!! #it can be very disheartening #years put into studying and never getting anywhere #but ive also put so much effort not to loose myself to that depression #and continue pushing myself to learn and get better #and i do in fact like drawing backgrounds #but i find myself less interested in learning so i can get into animation and more just so i can paint cool stuff for people and their ocs #sigh #and see #back in jan i finally just accepted that i dont really want to learn how to paint bgs or probs for shows #and just embraced a style i thought would be a waste of time #like whats the point if ur not putting ur all into making every part of ur stuff marketable for animation #whoose gonna want this? #ME i want this #ive never felt happier or prouder of my work than i have these last few months #and its crazy to think ive only been painting like this for a few months when it feels like its all ive ever been #anyways #i love you #and ENOUGH THINKING #least i fall into the horrors #i got more drawing to do HUWAH #😎👍

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

started yellowjackets with my family awesomeee……. lez out and kill in the woods ladies!!!!!!!!!

#also i was like. how long would it take you guys to eat someone if you were stranded like that #because ive thought abt it a lot lately esp since i watched castaway bc i think id do it right away #like not KILL someone and eat them that would take longer. but if there was an accident and people died during it id probably eat them #right away bc like. theres a whole bunch of meat going to waste. itll only attract predators for later and stink up the place if u have to #take shelter there. plus like if theres a crash it would scare away anything small you could catch in the area for a day or two so that food #option is gone. and then you have to scavenge like what if theres nothing around or u cant tell whats okay to eat #its better to eat someone fast to keep your energy up for how much work youll need to do finding shelter and water and food to survive #beyond a few days #anyways. i didnt say all this before bc i wanted their true answers and my mom said not for a very long time/probably not and my dad said #probably not WHICH SURPRISED ME BAD BC I THOUGHT HE WOULD SAY YES #and i was like. well lol. heres my opinion 🫢 #idk if id actually be able to pull it off BUT. im just saying that would be the best option #better to cannibalize people already dead rather than kill someone youve gone through horrors to survive with as i always say!

[intertexts-moving]

hot girls LOVE to lay motionless & silent in bed for hours, head vacant, not on their phone or reading or listening to music, not asleep but sleepy, mindlessly aware of the passage of time & their own body.

#hi. ive been wasting so much fucking time lately just flopped on my bed under my fifteen heavy quilts. like not even doing anything just #roswell.exe has stopped responding. its such a fucking annoying way to not get anything done like ohh yeah i havent had enough time for art #lately :( why? classes busy? i mean yeah but also i need my mandatory minimum two hours of spacing the fuck out a day. yeah its mandatory. #txt

[love-songs-for-emma]

the "you slice the ginger" line in naka-choko would be so! good! if will wasn't a coward & actually killed Her™️

#i keep trying to Say More but the reality is: this is all i have to say #(proceeds to Say several more things in the tags) #listen tho. hannibal's wit is WASTED on will #WASTED i say #this could be such a beautiful hashtag gothic horror hashtag romcom moment #and it was until The Reveal #and every rewatch just has me so upsetti spaghetti #cue adele singing ''you couldve had it alllllllLllllLllL'' will you COULDVE #bur u chose to be a NARK #a /NARK/ #go kiss crawford's ass u FREAK #its not the Murder he has a problem with. its the Betrayal. & trust me s1!hanni turns my stomach but #godddd. oh how the turntables turn tables #none of these pieces even logically fit together in my brain. i just. i believe s1!hanni deserves Suffering but i also #Dont want will to deliver that suffering when the time comes #bless fanfiction for somehow delivering this #bless the canon for doing what it does. reichenbach falling them – amen #nbc hannibal #hannibal spoilers #frédérique look away!!!! if you've read this far its already much too late but hopefully u'll have No Idea what im talking abt & Wont #piece everything together snjfksfk #at least not what im talking abt in main post #hannibal lecter #will graham #naka choko #naka-choko #hannigram #hannibal #tomewan #twotl

[la-lil-alien]

#i laughed too much at this #jesus christ #you know what time it is #i dont know what im doing rn #idk what to tag so #lol #just losing my mind #jesus mary and joseph #prayer hands #running out of time #time wasted #time well spent #too much time on my hands #not enough time #thyme #its too late #hello darkness my old friend #always late #always eating #state of me #mentally unstable #self deprecating meme #mental health #mental health memes #wtf is wrong w me #depressing shit #im sad okay #alien #beam me up #home time

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#diary #drugs tw #personal #high #ill be fucking damned if you catch me not binging drugs this whole fucking week #lmao. im not joking. i plan to be high 24 fucking seven #im sorry if anyone wants to talk to me but like. im not up to it lmao #haaah. i ate some edibles (theyrw just a had candy tho) to like. quiet my mind down a little. and im glad i did. #i wouldve prefered to take a smaller dose (i only have 10 mg rn ;-;) but whatever. i just feel its a waste as im going to bed so lol #haah. im so tired. too much has happened lately and im just done. #disordered eating #eating disorder #i like. weighed myself again today and i gained a couple pounds :/ like. thats not the worst i guess but id rather not? yknow #suicidal ideation #self harm #idk i just wanna die latley. and if i dont i just dont wanna bother. its too much effort. what am i supposed to do with my time? #idk i just dont know what to do with myself bc im busy which in turn makes me give up on life lol. #...ive also been planning on self harming for a while now. i think i may still. #i do try to never self harm while intoxicated. but i was planning on doing that anyways today lol #yknow... i wish i had something stronger. like. i just wanna dissapear into oblivion. i just want nothing more than to give up #and i kinda think i am? slowly but surely. im just sorta letting go of things. #i feel like im just. sorta losing myself a bit. like. it feels like im just watching everything happen to me. #i forgot how it feels being around others. like. theres everyone else. and then theres me. #i hate it. ive always hated this window i have to watch others. but they all just. look at me strangely. #at least thats what it feels like. people gawking at a cadged animal... #im exhausted. i sorta wanna chat with a friend. but im also super tired and high and a mess and whatnot. #...oh well. theres not much to be done. i may as well just text bc im lonely.

[rodrickheffley]

i do Not feel good rn heres hoping its the coffee i drank and not pr*gnancy

#i have an appt tmr with my nurse practitioner to help me fill out some forms i rly should bring up getting an iud or smth :/ i told her #last year and she never did anything abt it bc i said it wasnt urgent even tho it kind was 😔 #i just like. the guy ive been hooking up with is in an open relationship that is going to close once his gf moves closer #and so like since its a time limit ive been avoiding it since you cant have sex for a bit after getting it so i didnt wanna waste time but #theres way less of a point in getting it after bc i dont trust easy when it comes to that stuff so i doubt ill need it for a while #im just like really annoyed that she never followed up with me on that. if i did it last year it would have been so much better ugh #idk i thought my period would have come already its only a few days late but im paranoiddd #i could abort if need be but i would have to bus for over an hour