#its still pretty long i guess but im trying to get the hang of it. someone tell me if im doing it wrong
ohsotragical · 5 months ago
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“you’ve encountered [this spell] before” (forced truth) + dorian’s tendency to drink/make rash decisions when he shares more than he’d like = This
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thepastramicheesemonster · 6 months ago
no, but actually fuck you.
#feeling a bit hurt and cross i guess.#if u dont want me in ur life bc u still cant be arsed to invest any time or effort in keeping up a relationship then fucking tell me.#we're clearly not friends bc u never fucking talk to me so what the hell#?#idk i feel like i shouldnt give a shit and most of the time i dont even think abt u anymore bc youre not part of my life but also u were#such a huge fucking part of my life for so long and your apathy fucking hurt me for years and im pissed off abt it actually.#part of me still thinks youre wonderful but part of me thinks youre a huge coward tbh. and maybe this is me in a mood trying to get back at#you for hurting me and ignoring me and never considering how your actions (or lack thereof) affect me.#i treat you with love and respect and who knows maybe you really are this ignorant about how u make other people feel i dont fucking know.#i always gave you love and attention because i wanted to and it feels like you never showed affection because actually you never cared at#all.#thats how you ignoring my texts and only responding to parts of my messages and lying to me and always being ''too busy'' to even talk to#me made me feel. and i fucking told you that and you cried and said you'd try to change and i felt bad but you never changed.#i dont think u even tried bc i dont think i crossed your mind like you always crossed mine.#and that fucking sucks. its not a nice feeling. and i'm mad abt the fact that every time i saw u it was wonderful but whenever we were#apart i had this sinking feeling in my stomach and i cried myself to sleep over you because u just blatantly fucking ignored me#and i deserved a hell of a lot better than that.#its unlikely that youll read this but if u do then yeah im kind of mad rn but i mean all of this. and i also mean that i miss you as a#friend. and i thought i was at a place where we could hang out again if u wanted to but u lied and said u did and then i never fucking l#heard from you again which is a pretty clear signal that u dont give a shit abt me. and you can't even say that to my face. you were so#sweet when we last spoke so what the fuck is this. what am i supposed to think? do you see my issue here? i dont think im being dramatic#tbh at this point i think this is a fucking reasonable reaction. im pissed off at you and i really wish i didnt have a reason to be.#i wish i didnt believe you could change so i could move on without you.#i wish i didnt think that youre better than this so i could just write you off as a mistake but we have too much history.#wheres that girl who i used to cuddle at breaktime in school? and what did i do wrong? i thought i did everything right and yet it still#wasn't enough. do you think youre not worthy of love? or did u never love me at all? because there were times when it really seemed like#you did. and yet this happened. and i dont love you anymore and i'm not really happy about that.#this rant has gone on long enough. goodnight.#my posts#shut up helen
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delusional-mishaps · 3 months ago
Ok, here we go- Dust, Killer, Horror, Cross, Passive Nightmare and Dream please. S/o takes them on a date (but wont tell them where cause its a suprise!), And when they get there, it's a nice comfy restuarant by the beach? Nothing fancy, but basically like grillbys but with the occasional person going on stage and singing some songs. (And if S/o knows the song, they sing their heart out) Thank you!
hmmmmg bad guy sanses make me weak in the lnees thank u for the request :O)
why'd you bring him to a BEACHSIDE restaurant,,,, the dust he finds in crevices between his bones is already too much, now there's SAND??? regardless of how nice out it is, he'll make sure the two of you aren't seated on the patio. at least the food is good and greasy, and he guesses the music is nice even if half the people going up to sing are drunk off their asses. honestly, even if you sing, he won't be paying too much attention. he'd either be drunk, or halfway trying to make it. at least he can ignore the feeling of sand between his bones when he's absolutely smashed. have fun taking care of a drunk angry little man. at least he gives you more kisses when he's drunk <33
DAAAMN this is nice. the food, the atmosphere, the location. how long have you known of this place and didn't tell him? he's been missing out!! mf will be up on that stage all night singing his metaphorical lungs out. hell, he'll be dragging you up to sing a duet or two or five with him. he's stealing the show. eventually he'll settle down and you two can actually eat and talk. he'll have to get one more song out of you before you two leave, though
he'll get overstimulated by the noise/singing really easily, especially if it's busy, so you'll find yourself ordering the food and taking it to eat it on the beach. the serenity of the quiet beach waves lapping at the sand, mixed with the gentle glow of the sun reflecting off of it. were it noon-ish, he'd prefer you two sit away from crowds, maybe under any trees if there are any for the shade to protect your skin. if it were closer to the evening, the beach would be nearly-empty aside from a few people either packing up to leave, or taking the cliche "walk along the beach", but they won't bother you too much. he'd prefer, then, to sit closer to the water, so he could watch it flow in and out, washing over the sand. it's nice, just the two of you, the faint sound of too-loud music from the restaurant still faintly drifting over so you could hear it, but it wasn't bothersome.
he doesn't even care where the date is, he gets all blushy regardless. you're taking time out of your day to just??? put it towards him??? to hang out with him???? it always makes him feel so loved. you could ask him over for a "movie date" and he'll get excited and his soul will pound. so when you take him out somewhere???? he feels like he's about to combust. and the beach??? is so pretty???? can you two sit outside actually? the best time to go would be to watch the sunset, when the light is reflecting off the water so beautifully, almost a mirror image of what's above in the sky. maybe you sneak away while he's admiring the sight and sing some cheesy, slow love song that catches his attention solely because it's your voice singing it and he turns to look at you and your eyes meet and he feels like he's falling in love with you all over again oh my god this is so cheesy im so sorry can you tell i have a favourite??
Grimm (Passive):
the boingy skrunkle. spinky slumbc. scrimblo. motherfucker has never been to a beach so he's abandoning his shoes (and you) to run around in the hot sand. forget the restaurant, hope you brought towels with you because he's gonna wanna sun tan (even if he can't tan). eventually, he will get hungry (or you bugged him enough to get food BAKNEOF) and the two of you can finally eat. he's not exactly a fan of greasy foods, so he'll maybe just get a basket of yam fries and call that good enough. he's also WAY too shy to ever go on stage to sing, but he'll quietly cheer for you if you go up! he'd like to go again some time, just because it's with you <3 but you secret know he just likes the beach and wants to properly visit it instead of the restaurant
also not the biggest fan of greasy foods. also doesn't particularly need to eat, so he'll maybe pick a few fries off of your meal and that's it for him. were you to sing anything, he'd happily sing along with you if he knew the lyrics. if not, he'd just watch you lovingly. you're a great s/o, you know? he's happy you chose him. he's happy he can make you happy. he'll probably get sappy and start spouting lovey dovey words and express his gratitude to you just for... just for loving him. for caring about him and taking him out despite not needing to.
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f3itansgirlygirl · a year ago
drivers license - suna rintarou
part 2 right here
inspired by the song driver's license
his house is right there, right in front of me. 
sitting in the car biting my lip holding back the sob that threatened to escape, how did it become like this? how did i end up sitting in here alone while you went off with her? that was supposed to be me, you said you would wait? 
suna rintarou
a beautiful boy, his smile never failed to warm your heart. the way he would hold you in his arms, pout when you weren't paying attention, brush your hair behind your ear, the way he would kiss you and buy you your favorite drinks or take you to that little park you loved so much as you guys watched the sunset and fell in love all over again.
then how did it get like this? 
“hi my name is l/n y/n and i'm your new manager!,” you introduced yourself. was a first year at inarizaki and needed to get into a club, atsumu decided to introduce you to the coach and give in a few words.
looking around the team you felt a nice presence, and that's when your eyes landed on his, those green piercing eyes. having his knees to his chest laughing at atsumu for trying to punch him for showing him something on his phone. 
the way his laugh died down but kept a smile as he looked at you. 
you blushed but became distracted as kita called you over.
“thank you guys for accepting me have a good night!,” you said grabbing your bag and leaving. “wait up i’ll walk with you,” you heard a voice behind you say. you turned to hear the voice and it belonged to him.
you guys walked under the stars, you shivered forgetting a jacket and that's when he looked at you and smirked. “the old jacket technique huh let me guess you want me to take mine’s off and give it to you,” 
you gasped and looked right at him, “no i actually forgot you weirdo whatever i guess i'll walk faster,” you said speeding up. “wait i’m just teasing here i have a hoodie it’s my sleeping in class hoodie so better not ruin it.”
you took it hesitantly but put it on either way, it was big and burgundy and my god the scent you can still remember to this day how good he smelled like. “looks good on you maybe i’ll let you keep it,” he said as you guys continued to walk.
that was your first interaction, your first words to each other and one of the many nights you guys have come to spend together
everything else came easily, even though having a age gap it didn’t stop your feelings whatsoever, and also never stopped him from showing affection.
you still remember your first kiss
how he kissed you by surpised on the slide of a old park where you guys sneaked out to get ice cream.
still remember how he started bringing extra hoodies and hair ties since you had a habit of forgetting both.
still remember that night under the stars in the backseat of his car when he looked at you and told you he was in love with you.
you teared up staring at him as he giggled softly caressing your face, holding your waist even more closer to his chest as your bodies connected.
“i love you rintarou,” you smiled crying softly. 
he looked at you rubbing your tears away, “and i love you y/n l/n,”
how it was such a good 6 months. looking back you should have seen the way you guys would only hang out around the night or weekdays. 
how he wouldn't hold your hand in school or only be affection around the team.
and how you guys weren't exactly official, never asked you officially to be his but hey because of the memories spent together you thought of course your his and he’s yours.
you first saw her when she came through the doors, holding his notebook as she apologized but nevertheless gave him a smile and he gave one back. she was pretty- like really pretty. 
pretty blue eyes, blonde long hair, beautiful body.
“so this is what overthinking feels like huh,” you mumbled as you shook your head and went back to setting the net up.
after practice you and suna as always walked home 
you guys decided to take a detour heading to your park where many memories were made. 
“hey rin,” you asked as you looked over the river that was by the bridge. “yes love?,” he replied. “what are we?,” you asked him.
please say im yours...
“well your younger than me, i want you to be mines and you already are, always and forever sooo how about this,” he turned to look at you and bent down so his head was right at yours. “when you become a 2nd year and get your driver's license we can officially be together yeah? i'll get down on one knee and ask you to be mine,” he rolled his eyes as you giggled. 
he stuck out his pinkie and you stuck out yours. “you’ll wait for me?,” you said.
he wrapped his pinkie around yours, “always, make sure you just don't crash don't want you dying before your mine but yes i promise i will wait for you l/n,” suna smiled grabbing you and pulling you in for a kiss. 
finals came up and yes you and suna got distant due to you studying, yet you weren't nervous you were excited to finally walk down the halls holding his hand.
looking back you should have seen the signs of him not texting you often or wanting to help you, you shrugged it off maybe he was struggling in some classes too.
finally the day was here, texting osamu all morning about how you would pick them up for school so you can show off to suna. 
laughing driving up to school with the twins, you got out the car and seeing suna’s back against one of the walls
 you were about to call out for him until you saw her again. this time she was wearing the burgundy hoodie, and he was the one holding her hand. he was smiling? the smile he gave you specifically to you he was giving to her. 
tears filled your eyes. 
“y/n chan.. i’m-” , “its okay atsumu just get to class okay?,” you turned around hand shaking as you hold your keys, tears spilling down your eyes. “i'm going to be okay,” you smiled. “no, you’re crying,” 
“i said i’m okay, i’m just going to leave,” you said running to your car and getting the fuck outta there. 
leaving you saw atsumu go up to suna and scream at him. 
your heart felt like it was being pulled, this can’t be real? 
you headed home, slamming your door and falling to the ground, how could you rin? 
flashes of him and her passed your mind seeing how happy he was. 
you looked underneath and saw a photo on the ground. your grabbed it and sat on your bed, it was you and him in a photobooth smiling and then kissing. underneath in his handwriting he wrote “my love always and forever,”
you felt like throwing up, so this is what heartbreak feels like. 
you were hurt mad even at the fact that before anything was able to happen it was already ruined. you cried yourself to sleep wanting to ignore the pain/
you woke up around 9 p.m, you were confused but remembered all that happened today
“so that wasn't a horrible dream?,” you tried to laugh it out but really couldn’t.
you needed fresh air, you changed into sweatpants and a baggy shirt.
going for a drive blasting music, you didn’t know where you were going but you just needed to feel the air flowing past you. you stopped at the red light, everything was getting blurry tears now leaving as you hit the steering wheel. 
you kept driving and ending up parking in this neighborhood, being very familiar but automatically knowing where you ended up. you looked to your right and saw his house.
you were about to get off trying to get closure you said, needing answers still trying to doubt everything and thinking maybe this was a horrible joke from the twins and him but then you got all the closure you needed. seeing as the door opened revealing the girl coming out.
your heart dropped seeing how happy they were and dare you say actually look good together. he smiled down at her and grabbed her for a kiss. 
you gasped as a heart wrenching sob escaped your lips, she walked away as he never took his eyes off her figure.
that was me.
 he then looked turning his head and made eye contact with you, you just silently laughed as you shook your head at him and turned on the car leaving. “y/n wait!,” you heard him say as you left.
you headed to the small park and sat in the slide looking up as you laid down and finally let everything out. “never knew your waiting was just a short trial did i have to pay for millions of hours?,” you cried as you looked up in the sky seeing your memories replay in your head
‘Cause how could I ever love someone else’ And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street’
your phone dinged as you look who texted you
suna rin: y/n we need to talk... suna rin: please, i am so so sorry just hear me out. suna rin: i really did wait i just, please let's just meet up.
you texted back 
“im really happy for you suna, goodbye rintarou.”
you then deleted his contact as you took a deep breathe and sat up.
“i still see your face
In the white cars”
you grabbed your head, “was i not good enough?,” 
“We crossed I still hear your voice In the traffic We're laughing”
flash back
“you know i think we're meant to be,” suna said from your bed as you were on your laptop finishing some things. “wow such a hopeless romantic,” you smiled at him as you were putting back your earphones. “just maybe right person wrong time,” he said softly. you looked back at him, “i'm sorry did you say something,” you asked him. he just shook his head, “nothing i was just saying your a nerd,” he said as he threw a pillow at your face. “you know what,” you got up and jumped on top of him both laughing.
flashback over
‘God, I'm so blue Know we're through But I still fucking love you, babe’
you finally realized what he said, right person wrong timing 
you looked up at the cherry blossom tree and softly smiled
“your right suna we really were meant to be just right person, wrong time.”
i guess not every love story is meant to be complete.
the end.
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notnctu · a year ago
backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club
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━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series
genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst  wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi​​​ ; @darkneogotmyback​​​ ; @im-lame-irl​​​ ; @p-mini​​​ ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck​​​ ; @saniahmichael​​ ; @jaehy9ngs​​​ ; @danyxthirstae01​​​ ; @jaehyunoos​​​ ; @pikijaemin​​​ ; @suhweo​​​ ; @yunoyeol​​​ ; @lanadreamie​​​ ; @ta3ilmoon​​​ ; 
a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):
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While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.
Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.
Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.
But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.
“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.
“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.
You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.
“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.
Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”
His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.
The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.
But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.
When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”
“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.
“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.
However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”
Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.
“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”
“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.
He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”
Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”
“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”
“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.
“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”
You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”
“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.
“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.
Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.
Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.
Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?
Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.
“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?
Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.
Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”
Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.
“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”
The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.
But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.
“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.
“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”
The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.
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Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.
“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.
“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.
Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.
Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.
You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.
Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.
You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.
“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating. 
“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.
His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.
You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.
“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.
“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”
You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”
Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.
One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.
“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”
Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.
The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.
He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.
While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.
“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.
“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.
“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.
“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.
“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.
“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.
The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.
But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.
No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.
This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”
“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.
“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.
“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.
“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”
“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.
“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”
It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart. 
Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.
In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.
“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.
“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.
“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?
“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.
“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.
“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.
“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.
“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”
“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”
“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.
You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.
Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well. 
However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.
“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.
“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.
And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.
“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.
“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.
His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.
Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”
“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.
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“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.
The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.
He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.
The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.
“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.
Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”
“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.
“No, you called me honey.”
Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”
Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.
This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.
“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.
Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”
The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.
“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.
“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”
Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.
Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”
Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.
“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.
“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.
“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.
“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.
“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”
“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.
He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.
“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.
“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.
“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.
It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.
“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”
“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.
“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.
Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.
Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.
But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.
“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.
“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.
“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.
“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.
“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.
Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.
Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”
“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.
“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.
“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.
Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.
“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”
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During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.
“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.
Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”
Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”
You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.
It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.
“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.
“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.
But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.
Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.
Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.
The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.
Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”
He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.
But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.
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You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.
Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.
His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”
“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.
Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”
You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.
“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”
He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.
“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”
“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.
His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.
“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.
“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”
“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”
Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.
Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”
All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”
“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.
“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.
“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.
“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.
“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.
“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.
He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.
He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.
You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.
He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don’t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.
“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.
“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.  
“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.
“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.
Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.
It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you. 
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ayyezhongli · 11 months ago
horny hungry dom zhongli x innocent slutty childe
where zhongli is horny asf and childe has this lusty energy around him which makes it hard for zhongli to concentrate bc he just wants to ravage and fuck childe using him as a fucktoy
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ok so its late in the day n zhongli jus came back from a mission. he has paper work he needs to finish but forst he needs to shower bc he’s sweating like crazy.
so he says “good work today”
trying to contain himself with all this lust and sexual desire that was pouring out of childe. childe smiled saying.
“yeah thx, you too”
n zhongli walked over to take a shower. the lust was too strong. like a tornado. if he stood there any second longer he would’ve for sure fucked childe stupid right there. he turned on the shower water to hot and stripped revealing his member hard asf.
“fuck not again.”
so now zhongli steps in the shower, cheeks tinted pink and one of his hands against the tile wall.
“i’ll just get it over with now”
with his free hand wrapped around his dick, he starts pumping himself as images of childe flash in his brain. childe in a maid outfit. childe with a lewd face. childe moaning….all he could think about were these abstract images and dirty scenarios about childe he made up in his head mumbling childes name under his breath.
“Fuck! fuck! fuck!”
so zhongli cums shooting his load all over the tile wall panting. after a few minutes of washing himself he turns off the water and wraps a towel around his waist and gets out. he puts on a fresh pair of boxers and has the towel over his shoulders. when he looks up to his surprise, he sees childe standing in front of him with a bright red face.
“how long have you been here?”
“w-well i went to go shower bc i thought you were done b-b-but….”
zhongli stares childe down biting his lip. childe could see the hungry look in zhonglis eyes. he looked like a beast who captured his pret and ready to devour it any second. n he suddenly found himself backing up as zhongli approached him until he was pressed up against a wall kabedoned.
He’s gonna eat me alive!!
“u saw enough.”
zhongli couldnt hold back anymore. he jus couldn’t. he has been for so long and too long. and with the way how childe was acting, his flushed face. He REALLY couldnt.
childe was squirming around trying to escape and oh that turned him on so much. watching childe squirm underneath him. and so he fiercely attacked childes neck marking and claiming every spot he can which in response to this action childe gripped his shoulders letting out tiny little pants and moans right into zhonglis ear.
“Sensei p-p-pls stop”
childe begged while zhongli ignored him. childes begging only made him harder. there was no going back now. zhongli slid his hands up childes shirt mouth still attached onto childes neck. he went up pinching his nipples causing a loud moan to escape his mouth.
“F-Fuck Sensei!!”
he moved up to nibble on his ear and reached his hand down into his pants to palm him.
“you’re already so hard for me childe….”
childe moaned into his ear. childe had the lewd face that zhongli always dreamed of. It turned him on so much he almost came.
“D-d-dont to- Ahh~!!”
it was too late, zhongli had a tight grip around his dick and started pumping him fast. childe came within seconds all over zhonglis hand and in his pants. zhongli rid childe of his pants and started rubbing against him through his boxers.
“Mmmnn S-sensei dont stop ahh~”
“i never planned too”
He’s even hotter than i imagined
“kiss me.”
n so childe did. wrapping his arms around zhonglis neck kissing him passionately. he wanted to have all of childe for himself. have him all to his self. violate and claim every orifice or non orifice of his body. all of it should n would belong to him by the time he’s done. pulling away breathless a string of drool attached from the mouth he went back in and childe rubbed back harder and needier than before.
“S-sensei….i want you….”
zhongli felt himself blush but kept a calm composure.
“prostrate yourself in front of me and maybe i’ll consider it.”
childe did so all shame going down the drain. n zhonglis view was nothing short from perfect. it was beautiful. seeing childe’s pink innocent little hole with his ass high up in the air. he couldn’t hold back. it was so plump, so untouched, so round, so innocent looking he wanted to destroy it. and so he bit down marking and claiming what belongs to him which made childe yelp. with a loud smack childe came as a red hand print formed on his ass.
“you came just from that? what a slutty little masochist”
childe quivered while zhongli spanked him a few more times. he could feel his legs going weak until they finally decided gave out and he dropped to the floor unable to hold himself up any longer.
“i’m not finished with u yet. get back up.”
childe struggled to follow his directions but eventually did wobbling.
“good little slut.”
zhongli bent over and planted a gentle kiss on his head.
“turn around and suck”
zhongli said pulling down his boxers revealing his hard member. childe just stared. that wouldn’t be able to fit inside him!! how was he gonna take all that it!!
“stop gawking at it n suck it!”
childe gulped and started licking his shaft sucking on the balls from time to time. he slowly lowered himself down gagging at every inch. he wanted to see zhonglis reaction through it all so he maintained eye contact as he watched zhonglis face flush and his hand covering his mouth. it was hot ngl and childe could feel himself becoming harder. after a few zhongli came and he could feel the slimy liquid go down his throat and drip down the side of his mouth. he pulled away but before he could fully zhongli held him down.
“keep going.”
childe did the best he could. and he could feel zhongli’s throbbing cock in his mouth.
“stick out ur tongue”
zhongli said panting slightly
and he came all over his face and getting sum on his tongue. catching his breath he looked down at childe to see such a slutty cum covered face panting with his tongue sticking out and tears forming from the side of his eyes.
“you look so hot covered in my cum, such a slutty whore all for me~….”
zhongli put his fingers in childe’s mouth.
“suck and get them nice and lubricated.”
childe did so until zhongli pulled them out.
“prostrate yourself for me again.”
and when he did, zhongli shoved his fingers inside causing childe to moan in pain, crying.
“S-s-sensei it hurts…”
“it wont for long just hang in there. this isnt even the part that hurts the most.”
zhonglis fingers wiggled around inside childe
“god ur squeezing my fingers so tightly”
his fingers searched for that one g spot.
“where is it now….”
zhongli said still looking until childe arched his back and let out a loud moan drool dripping down the side of his mouth.
“found it.”
what was he feeling? what was this immense amount of pleasure? has he have no shame? it all felt too good childe couldn’t think straight. as a puddle of drool formed from the side of his mouth n on the floor zhongli pulled out and aligned himself.
“woah woah wait sensei thats not all gonna f- AHH SHIT!!”
but before childe could finish zhongli pushed himself inside him. all of him. and childe choked on his own spit, eyes widening and crying clawing at the floor to escape as zhongli thrusted into him fast and rough showing no mercy.
“Sensei it hurts! It hurts! It hurts so much!”
childe cried out clawing and scraping at the floor.as much as he tried to escape zhonglis grip on his hips was too tight.
“shhh its okay….it’ll feel better soon.”
and like zhongli said, the pain started fading away n all he could feel was pleasure. all he could think abt was zhongli. zhonglis dick deep inside him. destroying him. ruining him. claiming him.
childe moaned out.
“fuck that was hot. moan out my name again. moan the name of the person who’s fucking u stupid. claiming you for themselves.”
zhonglis pace quickened and by now he was slamming into childe ruining him like he always got off too.
and with that childe came dropping to the floor.
“this isnt over yet childe, not even close~….”
zhongli flipped him around placing each of his legs on his shoulder and pounded into him harder n faster than childe could ever imagine.
“I’m gonna cum again…”
“n im gonna cum too….”
giving a few more thrusts zhongli came inside him and childe came again on his chest cum dripping out of him and panting heavily and twitching.
“ur still so hard for me.”
zhongli palmed the twitching childe and he came once more all over zhonglis hand. zhongli lifted his hand up to childes mouth.
“lick it clean”
hesitating, childe sucked his hand clean tasting himself. the bittersweet slimy consistency. he couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose.
“good boy.”
zhongli said picking childe up and carrying him bridal style.
“lets take a shower shall we?”
and so they stepped into the shower to bathe but it turned out to be another round. the end :)
(but guess what- i wrote an alt ending so enjoy 😈)
“good boy.”
zhongli said picking childe up and carrying him bridal style. when zhongli raised his head he could see diluc standing in there eyes widen is shock to speechless to say anything. Childe looked at diluc face flushed
diluc was too speechless he couldn’t say anything.
“i’m just gonna-”
diluc said turning around.
“dont tell anyone diluc”
“i never planned too.”
diluc said walking out.
“Besides…i dont wanna risk the chance of me n kaeya getting out.”
(ok now thats the alt ending. hope you enjoyed the story. it’s pretty rushed but don’t mind that)
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erythrum · 9 months ago
𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘖𝘯𝘦
𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧,𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦,𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘹,𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘴,𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝙖/𝙣: 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.9𝘬 +
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘺/𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦
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The boneyard was a melting pot, pogues, tourons, and kooks unalike all gathering for one of the last kegger's of summer. This mash together of kids from all over Kildare and the mainland always ended in chaos, it was just a matter of time before shit went down tonight.
Rafe had his arm thrown around my shoulders as we walked down the path to the boneyard. I could faintly see Topper and Kelce downing the cups of pogue provided beer. Didn’t matter whether or not the kooks or pogues could get along, as long as it was on the cut and alcohol was provided, the teens could get along for a limited amount of time.
“Hey y/n! What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving for college this week?” It was Sarah who yelled out to me, running up to her brother and I in her floral printed dress. Rafe’s arm dropped to his side as she came with Topper not far behind.
“Oh I just couldn’t miss my last kegger before leaving, Duke can wait on me one more day.” The two of us embraced in one of those hugs that has you shifting your weight from side to side. I guess she didn’t realize I wouldn’t leave for college for another month, but I was sure she was already too drunk for me to explain it to her that she was not thinking of the right month.
As Sarah was hanging onto me probably a little too tight, Topper was giving Rafe one of those looks that said everything but also nothing at the same time. Like prior knowledge had to be known to understand the context. I of course did not, those two always had some stupid shit planned and I can almost guarantee it had to do with messing up the pogues’ little party.
The sun hung low on the horizon after I had finished my third cup, the colors illuminating the sky so brilliantly it felt like a fantasy. I stripped off my top and headed for the water, the pinks and purples of the sky reflected in its crashing waters. It was so cold, the temperature sent shivers up my body and a familiar rush in my energy. Almost waist deep now, I submerged my body completely under the water. It was always how I remembered it, calm and refreshing.
“C’mon Rafe! Don’t be a little bitch and get in there, I see the way you look at her,” Topper spewed, pushing his friend to have a little courage.
“Man what the fuck are you even talking about?” Deny everything Rafe thought.
“Oh come on dude, you’ve been making please love me eyes at her since the sixth grade, and please fuck me eyes at her since the tenth, when are you gonna do something about it for once? You’ve got a month to make a move, or regret it your entire life,” Topper continued his monologue as Rafe tuned him out, too distracted by the girl, his girl, staring out into the Atlantic like it was calling to her.
His heart was pounding as he made a B-line for the water, a light jog, but not so fast someone would think he’s crazy, or just madly in love. He swiftly pulled his polo over and off his head before plunging into the chilly water. Topper clearly knew whatever he'd said had worked.
I heard him before I saw him, Rafe approached and submerged himself just as I had a few minutes before.
“If we get hypothermia I'm sending you my hospital bills.” He laughed, wading around in the shallow water.
“Oh shock! Rafe Cameron threatening his medical bill payments? I never could’ve guessed!” We enjoyed our few minutes of peace before talking again.
“But it’s basically impossible anyways, you get use to it after awhile, maybe it’ll calm your hot-headed ass down,” I giggled and prepared for what always came next. Rafe pickup me up around my waist, lifting me over his shoulder before attempting to sprint as fast as he could deeper into the water. His hands had been wrapped around the back of my knees for a few moments until he threw himself and I down into the deeper water, both of us completely submerged beneath the surface.
The sun was dipping below the horizon now, and the deep blue of the sky was beginning to envelop the boneyard. We had come up for air, and I began splashing him with the water around us, payback for his antics. Theres no way in hell I’d be able to throw him down into the water too, this was the best I could come up with. The two of us were laughing before Rafe grabbed my arms and twisted me around so my back was flesh against his front. I gave up on trying to fight him off. Instead I just rested against him in an attempt to catch my breath.
“Hey Rafe, can we talk about something?” Oh fuck she knows, he thought. This was gonna be it, it’s going to fuck up his entire plan.
“Yeah, uh sure, like here?” He questioned.
“Maybe not here, I think we’ve got as audience,” he knew she was referring to Topper and Kelce, they were watching from the beach.
"The truck then?" I nodded my head, not at all prepared for the favor I needed to ask of him.
The sand stuck to my feet as we headed back to where his truck was, the chilly air wrapping around my body. Rafe opened the backseat door and pulled out a towel for me, always prepared. He pulled the passenger side door and I slid into the seat, the heat of his car pumping through the interior. My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t sure if his was too. We made it about halfway to tannyhill before speaking.
“Soooo,” he said.
“You’re going to think I’m absolutely crazy, Rafe," I laughed in an attempt to hide my nervousness.
"First of all, you're already crazy, and second of all, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're going to say," his hands were clenching the steering wheel harder now.
""Oh really? You already knew that I was going to ask you to take my virginity?" I don't know why, but I just blurted it out.
His car came to a screeching halt on the side of the road, lunging me forward as he stared in disbelief at the road infront of him.
"Im sorry, what did you just say?"
"That I want you to take my virginity? V-card? Cherry? Damn Rafe how else am I supposed to say it?"
"And," there was a pause in his voice like he didn't believe me, "your being serious, correct?"
“And, come again? I need to hear that one more time.”
“Jesus fuck Rafe, I’m being dead serious, I want you to take my virginity, what about that is so hard to explain?” It came out as more of a yell than a scream, he took a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He was thinking long and hard, I knew because he always had something to say, and now he wasn’t saying anything at all. It felt like hours had past before he spoke again.
It was my turn for a long sigh.
“Well, I guess I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, and I want to do it, but whenever I think about it in my head the only person I can see doing it with is you. You’re the only person I trust enough with my own body, I mean shit,” I had to think for a long time before admitting what came next.
“Whenever someone, you know like Scarlet or whoever, asks about who I’m interested in or whatever it may be, not a single person ever comes to mind except you, it’s like all I see when I look at you is you, everything else is like blurred around you and whenever I think about who the love of my life will be, I always think of you, not some mystery guy that I haven’t met yet.” I didn’t plan for this to be a full confession on how I feel about him, but here I am spilling everything I’ve been holding in my heart for the last three years.
“And I know that sounds fucking stupid I know, I mean we’re still teenagers for crying out loud, but when I’m with you it always feels like I’m home.” I was nearly crying at this point, struggling to get the words out of my chest that had been waiting for so long. He was listening, deadly quiet, and I had no idea what he was thinking for once in my life.
“You know what? Just forget about it, can you take me home please?” I was definitely crying now, it felt like I’d ripped my own heart to shreds. Theres no way he could ever feel the same way about me, he protected me like I was his own blood, not like he was in love with me. My face was nestled into the sleeve of my hoodie as the tears came out. His hands had moved back to the steering wheel now, gripping onto it so tight I thought it might break. The muscles in his forearms almost looked like they were twitching, but he still had the car in park.
He wanted to just grab her and kiss her right now, the girl he'd been in love with since the sixth grade sitting in his passenger seat, her seat, confessing her feelings to him. Rafe knew it was alot for her to ask, but it meant even more to him everything that she had said after her original question. And there was no way in hell he was going to let her get away again.
Rafe reached his hand over to hold onto her tear stained cheek.
"y/n," The bother of them were breathing heavily.
"I'm in love with you," it slipped from my mouth and he leaned in to kiss me. It felt like I had a wave of electricity coursing through my body. His hand grasping onto my face as he leaned over the center console. My hand reaching for his chest, his lips on mine as we intertwined with one another. It felt like everything in my life was complete, and the tension has been released. His fingers tangled in my hair.
It was over before I realized it, and Rafe was driving me home. My breathing hadn't normalized in any way, it was like I needed to throw up my heart to get the knot out. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his had felt on me, the way his lips felt on mine, the way it felt for once in my life like I was loved.
"i'll think about it," his voice cracked.
I leapt out of his car as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. Did he feel the same? Did he not? My brain was spinning so fast I barely made it inside my bedroom door before collapsing. I wrapped myself up in the thick comforter, a heart full of ache and a body exhauster with sleep.
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monaisdark · a year ago
AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥
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haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!
➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader
➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial
Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.
He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.” 
Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.
Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.
Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.
For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?
Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?
But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.
Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.
He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.
But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.
Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.
Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.
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You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.
You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.
But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.
Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.
Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.
Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.
Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.
Though you had completely other plans.
“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.
“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.
They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”
You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.
Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.
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Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.
“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.
“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.
“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.
“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?
“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.
After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.
Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.
“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.
“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.
“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.
“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.
“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.
Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.
Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”
“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.
“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”
Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”
You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”
Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.
Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.
He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.
Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.
Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.
He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?
As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.
You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”
He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.
Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”
You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.
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Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.
“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”
You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.
Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.
When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.
He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.
You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.
Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”
“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”
Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.
You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.
Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.
Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.
He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.
“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.
“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”
“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”
Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.
You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”
Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.
“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.
Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.
“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.
Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.
Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.
“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.
“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.
He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.
The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck
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llamagoddessofficial · 9 months ago
Happy (late im sorry) birthday @aka-indulgence !!! I wrote you a special thing... with one of your special boyos whomst you managed to convert me into loving. I hope you had a fun day!!
Tw; caves, broken bones
You’d stopped screaming a while ago.
There were a lot of reasons- for one, the air in the cave was damp, thick, choking... screaming required you to take a deep inhale of the stale smog and your lungs were already starting to reject it. It was borderline unbearable and you were pretty certain that if you survived this, you’d be choking and coughing for a week at least.
... But that wasn’t the biggest reason. That wasn’t the most important reason you were keeping your mouth shut tight, as you laid on your back in complete darkness, eyes darting around as fast as they could and leg numb with agony.
By this point, screaming was a critical danger that would get you killed.
... The cave just behind the cliff was rumoured to be impossibly deep, to have once contained some kind of legendary terrifying monster that reacted violently to intruders and killed those who didn’t heed its immediate warnings to leave. Of course, there were no modern sightings of this mythical beast, and it definitely sounded less like fact and more like some urban legend designed to keep people away from a dangerous area. No one had ever mapped it... no one wanted to, even the most intrepid of local explorers. The stories (and a healthy serving of common sense) seemed to have prevailed long enough for that particular entrance to just be left alone.
So of course, your study group decided it’d be such a good place to spend a Friday night, armed with nothing but half-charged torches, rucksacks full of drinks, and borrowed walking shoes.
You could feel tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, gravity dragging them down the sides of your face as you stared upward into the total blackness. It was stupid to come down here, horror movie levels of stupid- but you just couldn’t say no to them. The study group was the closest thing you had to friends, and you let them lure you into coming along, you’d allowed yourself to be led by your terror of being left out.
... You had no idea how long you’d been lying on your back in total darkness with your immovable leg throbbing with pain, but it was getting clearer and clearer no one was coming back for you.
... So I guess you’ve been left out after all- left out in a cave to die. 
A noise. You turned your head, quickly- a familiar blood red colour standing out against the black, closer than last time. Panic jolted through you once again and you grappled with your flashlight, turning it on and pointing it directly at the red; a harsh white circle of light appeared and illuminated a section of the cave. You saw bone and a wide maw of terrifying teeth for a split second before it retreated quickly from the glow in a flurry of movement, disappearing back into the nothingness, an aggravated snarl rippling through the cavern.
Your friends, if you could even call them that, seemed to have followed the philosophy of ‘don’t outrun the bear, just outrun the slowest person’. When the monster had attacked your group in the dark, everyone panicked and ran for the exit... and when you stumbled, falling down a steep shaft into what was most likely going to end up being your grave, you became the slowest person.
And the ‘bear’ focused on you.
... It was hanging around in the darkness surrounding you. You could hear it, scuttling, waiting, the terrifying sound bouncing off the walls and coming from every direction at once, you hated how your panic and the enclosed space worked perfectly together to fuck with your hearing. Your only hope was the flashlight you clutched in both quivering hands.
You turned to the left, and caught sight of the red again. An engorged, blood coloured orb, slowly moving closer to you like a stalking wolf- it paused when you raised the flashlight, ready to recoil, and you jammed your clammy thumb onto the on button.
“... N-no.” You said, tiny, voice cracking, shaking the device and mashing the useless button over and over. Suddenly, just like that, the darkness around you had swallowed you completely whole. “No, no, no...”
The monster made the same realisation you had. The flashlight was out of battery. The bloody red eye contracted a fraction... and then, upon realising your only line of defence was gone, advanced toward you.
You screamed as loud as you possibly could. You screamed with your whole chest, so hard it ricocheted across the walls and rang in your ears, you kicked your good leg against the ground in a desperate attempt to push yourself away but your heel just slipped on the floor. The sound didn’t deter it- and the eye got bigger and bigger, coming closer by the second, the true scale of the thing hunting you was dawning alongside the panic.
It’s gonna eat me.
The eye was the size of your fist. You could smell something, something warm, its breath, you were seized with unparalleled fear and you blindly swung the useless torch like a weapon. To your shock, it connected- landing squarely on what must’ve been a cheekbone. But it did about as much damage as a pillow would to a rhino and the flashlight shattered into pieces upon impact, with the monster not even so much as flinching.
It was definitely breath, you could feel it in your hair. It smelled like blood. Giant hands moved around your torso, under your arms, and picked you clean up off the ground- and the oh-so-familiar heavy ‘scuttling’ sound of him moving filled your ears. 
S-someone help me!
You punched at his ribs, still ‘screaming' (it was hardly screaming anymore because it was punctured by cracks and thin breaths), the world was beginning to drown out. The sounds and smells and pain were all so overwhelming, the dark and red of his eye were already eating you before he’d even opened his mouth, all you could think about was how no matter how much you didn’t want to you were going to die.
Light. Light that wasn’t his eye. It was enough to distract from your shouting, pathetic attempt at making noise catching in your throat. Little glowing rocks- crystals, maybe, they dotted the floor and walls, creating a faint white that was just enough to see by but still filled the world around you with wriggling shadows.
... It was enough to, for the first time, properly see the creature that was taking you.
He was huge; a skeletal upper half, barrel-chested, shoulders twice the width of your own and a heavy sternum with ribs like prison bars. The size of his jaw and thickness of his teeth told you he wasn’t the kind of predator that wasted any time with theatrics; there was no serration, probably no venom, he wasn’t going to be using valuable time to suffocate victims. With a mouth like that he would get right to the point- crushing straight through bone like eggshell.
He was staring ahead. Concentrated.
... Your eyes darted past his skeletal body to the main thing you'd been afraid of seeing; his lower body was a centipede. Giant scar-mottled gleaming brown carapace, trailing off into the dark, massive hooked 'feet' working in perfect undulating tandem to move him effortlessly across the uneven cave floor. You had absolutely no idea how long he was, you couldn't even hazard a guess. No wonder you'd heard his scuttling all around you in the darkness, it wasn't your mind playing tricks on you, he'd literally been all around you- you never stood a chance, did you?
You'd wedged your arms between yourself and his massive ribcage, shaking hands pushing as hard as you could. Despite how obviously little it was counteracting his hold, it was your last way of feeling like you were fighting. Your face and neck ached, your chin was wobbling, your head pounded.. you were a melting ice statue ready to shatter at the slightest push.
You were running out of fight.
... He carried you up, over a lip, into a small alcove. A recessed section of rock, a cave within a cave- a slightly more concentrated cluster of those glowing stones revealed the interior was lined with furs, rags, chunks of sleeping bags, old and well-loved blankets. Some kind of nest.
I’m... am I hyperventilating? you thought, feeling disconnected and dizzy, mind retreating further and further away from your body as a final defence mechanism. Everything’s spinning. 
Softness. At first, you thought you’d just gone completely numb... but when you concentrated a little more, you were surprised to find you were staring up at the glow-dotted stone ceiling. 
... He’d... put you down. On his nest of blankets? He was hovering over you, breath still brushing your cheeks and forehead... that terrible eye shifted its gaze down your body, you felt like a dinner being surveyed.
... You couldn’t even bring yourself to try and wriggle away. What chance did you stand? Further and further into numbness... am I going into shock?
He reached toward your broken leg. You didn't even want to look at it; it hurt so badly. You squeezed your eyes shut, suppressing a sob.
A pleasant kind- like you'd just laid the broken limb beside a fire. Tingling faintly... magic? Healing magic? You couldn’t look, you didn’t have the stomach to see just how mangled the leg was, that’d just make it hurt even worse. But it was... 
... Nice.
The warmth was like an eraser. It floated over the leg, fuzzy and comforting, and wherever it floated the pain just... ebbed away. 
You opened your eyes again. When he stopped, there was no more pain in your leg. None at all. And he was just... sitting there. Staring at you.
“Y-you...” You croaked. The hole in the centre of his eyelight shrank a fraction. The magic felt like it was doing something to you; you could feel your shoulders slowly unwinding, chest relaxing enough for you to take breaths that actually filled your lungs, throbbing head settling down. “... You healed me?”
... Was clubbing him with a flashlight the wrong idea?
... He made a sound. Several sounds, actually... soft, throated, deep and staggered... chuffing, like a tiger. Such a gentle noise, for such a giant monster...
He seemed to make a decision. With one last little chuff and a nod to himself, his socket lidded... and he laid down next to you. One of his thick-as-your-head arms gently looped over your middle; you were vaguely aware of his centipede body gathering itself into the little alcove, some of it draping lazily over your lower legs.
... Keyword ‘vaguely’ aware. You were so tired, so tired and sick of being in pain, that you barely even wiggled in response to his strange cuddle-like gesture. He was... actually pretty warm... and he smelled like amber and campfires.
You were asleep before you could remember you needed to be scared of him touching you- that claws carding lovingly through your hair wasn’t supposed to feel nice.
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prof-peach · 9 months ago
Hey, im not sure if you are the best person to go to for this but i thought you'ld atleast find it interesting.
Ive been having this issue with my mudkip. Recently she has been starting fires while unattended. It started out when i was babysitting my friends charmeleon who had a knack for accidently starting fires, and my swampert would put them out. My mudkip copies pretty much anything my swampert does and started putting them out herself.
At first i thought it was good and gave her treats to encourage her to put out fires. While the charmeleon was with us it was fine, but when they went back to their trainer, i was still finding fires which she would then put out. At this point i realised my matches were disapearing, so i stopped giving her treats and stowed my matches more carefully. I didnt really want to encourage her to not put out fires and this prevented any more instances for a while.
But a month later i found a draw open, baby lock broken, matches missing, and myterious scorch marks around my house. Soon after i found her staring at a fire, match box next to her. Once she realised i was there she put it out, sat on the burn mark and gave me puppy dog eyes. Ive hid the matches but this is has escalated and no matter where ive hid them she finds matches, even when i dont have any.
I've tried looking into it but i cant find any cases of this outside of fire types, and even there its extremely unusual behaviour. It seems to be the fire that interests her as she is doing this even without the treats. Ive talked with a doctor at the local pokemon hospital and will be seeing a behavioural specialist next month (apparently theyre busy and a water pokemon starting but proficently putting out fires isnt to high priority), but also wanted to get your opinion on this.
Hahaha little pyromaniac! I like em, what a busy little dude.
So like, If you came to me with this, you’re going to get my personal opinion, which would be to encourage safe fire practice. Hear me out.
Mudkip are pokemon that have been known to have heritage of species that can learn fire moves. If they have a garchomp, a marowak, maybe rhydon, or even exploud in their family, there’s a chance they have a small potion of fire wielding capabilities, even if it’s just the affinity with it. Because of their body however, they have no ignition to utilise this. They can however store great volumes of fluid within their mouth, and expel it over long and short range. You should take your buddy to go watch some fire breathers, and maybe even book a class with some if you get a chance, that you can do either in support of, or with your buddy. These folks are incredible performers that use flammable liquids in safe and controlled ways to wield fire. This is a teachable thing your mudkip might find interesting. Classes however start with safety training, often both the fire breather and their Pokemon being able to explain the dangers. Hearing that fire can be great but also dangerous from other Pokemon may help your partner realise there’s a time and a place (also helps with the language barriers). Being as safe as possible, but still doing what you enjoy, is a totally doable. This is where regular training with this must be accommodated for. A battle safe area with no trees or items, or flammable buildings are present. Local parks have em, gyms, even pokecentres usually have a practice pitch close by for people to use. Schedule in practice, put a little chart up on the fridge at their height, so they know the days and times they get to let loose and practice their skills. Investing in professionals time to tutor them is wise, but this is an unusual case of a water type just loving fire, and I for one couldn’t bring myself to fully squash that love, just make it safer, more focused. Encourage it in other areas. By the end, once they get the hang of it, they’re allowed the matches during non-regulation fights and practice times, they can use them to train, and they get given back to you when you go home, to be put in a safe location.
Even if they’re 100% mudkip, there’s a literal flame in that Pokemon, channel it, help it use that passion in a controlled manner. I’ve seen water Pokemon practice safe fire breathing before, It’s not unheard of, and you should give some thought to it as an option. Should you ever battle with this technique, it’s a real game changer to pull out.
The alternative is to try to go spend some time at a fire station open day. Kids and young Pokemon get given tours for fun, and to learn about fire safety. It might be that the little dude can’t fully grasp human language yet, and doesn’t understand the severity of what fire is. Again, other Pokemon will do a better job at explaining something quite complex than a human, language is hard sometimes, not every Pokemon will get it fully, or as easily as others. I guess try a child safe lighter instead of matches too, mudkip don’t have thumbs and find these difficult to use.
There’s something in my gut that says do it, just do it safely. Invest in extinguishers, fire blankets, good smoke alarms, and lessons for your mudkip, who clearly has an interest.
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spikesbimbo · a year ago
Drunk in Love
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Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.
Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader
Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex
Word count: 7.2k
A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel
18+ Minors DNI
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You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  
“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory
“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.
This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.
You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.
Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.
And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)
But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.
Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.
He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.
“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.
You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.
“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.
  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.
  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  
   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.
   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.
  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter
  “Fuck.” He muttered
  “Any’all got a light?”
  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.
  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.
  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.
  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.
  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.
You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.
You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.
 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).
You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.
  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.
  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.
  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.
  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.
  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.
  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.
    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.
  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.
 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.
You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.
"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.
“C’you make me a house?” He asks.
You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.
 “Thanks doll” He smirks.
“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.
He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.
His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.
“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.
“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.
  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.
You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.
“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.
He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.
When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.
He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.
“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.
“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.
He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.
Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.
 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  
Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.
 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.
You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”
You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  
You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.
  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.
“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.
But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.
“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”
“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?
“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.
He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.
“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.
But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.
  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated
  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.
  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  
You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.
But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.
  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?
  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.
  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.
You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.
Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.
I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters
    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  
  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”
  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.
  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."
  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?
  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”
He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.
“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  
He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.
 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”
“yeah” You start.
“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?
“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.
His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.
“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”
 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs
“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.
“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.
Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa
Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.
“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.
His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.
Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles
“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.
“So are you.”
He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.
  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.
“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.
“I got it that day you faked sick”
“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.
He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.
This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.
“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.
“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.
“You still with that other girl?”
“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”
“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.
“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.
“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.
But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.
“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.
“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.
“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.
“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”
“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.
“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.
“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”
He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.
“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.
He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”
He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.
“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.
 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?
“M’always wet.” you responded.
From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.
“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.
You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.
“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.
“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.
“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.
“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.
He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.
He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.
The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”
His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 
“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.
  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.
“Shh, just look at me, doll.”
You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.
He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.
“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.
Shawty, your body is so exciting
Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.
He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”
But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.
It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.
 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.
“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.
“Look how good you take it.”  
“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.
“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.
  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.
  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 
You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.
His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.
You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.
“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.
“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.
You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.
Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.
He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.
“Yeah…fuck baby”
I love when you get on top and you ride it
You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.
“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.
“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.
“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.
“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.
He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.
His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.
The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.
“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.
You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.
He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.
“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.
“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.
“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.
“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.
“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.
“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.
“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.
“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.
 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”
You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.
“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.
He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.
  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.
  “Shh baby im right here.”
  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.
  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.
“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.
  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.
 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.
“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.
“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.
  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.
  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.
  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.
“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.
“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.
  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”
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© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .
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glassartpeasants · 9 months ago
That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️
The One That Got Away
Shigaraki x GN!Reader
Warnings: Angst, cheating, death
A/N: Don’t threaten Bob
The bed felt different after that night.
2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.
“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.
“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?
“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.
“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.
“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.
He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.
Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.
*flashback over*
Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.
Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you. 
“Oh hey Dabi.”
“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”
“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.
“Oh? Did crusty do something?  Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.
“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.
“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.
You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.
You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.
“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.
“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”
“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”
“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.
“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.
You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.
You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one. 
“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short. 
“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.
“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”
“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”
“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”
“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”
“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.
“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?
“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.
“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”
“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”
“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.
“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.
“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active. 
Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive. 
The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.
All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.
A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.
“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.
“Yes did something happen?!”
“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”
“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.
“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up. 
Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.
I guess you took your words seriously.
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yengyangyo · a year ago
berry | k.s.w
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pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader
genre: college au, friends to lovers
summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.
word count: 1.9k
note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo
you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.
he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.
so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.
until he couldnt take it anymore.
you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.
"found ya!"
sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.
sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.
"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"
you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.
"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"
sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.
"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"
sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.
"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.
"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.
"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"
you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.
you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.
sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.
"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.
"hey look at me,"
you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.
"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"
silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.
its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.
that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.
on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.
sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.
at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.
you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.
"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"
he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.
"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"
you smiled, this time sincerely at him.
"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"
he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"
you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.
"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"
"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"
you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.
"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"
you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.
"does he know about your feelings?"
you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.
"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"
you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"
its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.
"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"
you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.
"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"
"you'll find out soon,"
sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.
"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"
he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.
"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"
sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.
"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.
"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"
you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.
"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"
you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.
"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"
sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.
"i like you,"
you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.
"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"
"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"
at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.
"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.
you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.
"sunwoo its you,"
"i love you too,"
you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.
"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.
you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.
"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"
"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.
"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.
"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"
422 notes · View notes
tooruluv · a year ago
Hajime Iwaizumi x F!Reader
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❝ enemies, as well as lovers, come to resemble each other over a period of time ❞
description: your feud with hajime iwaizumi only escalated throughout your years at hogwarts; whether it was on the quidditch field or who would be the first to sit down in class, there always seemed to be some sort of raging competition between you two.  
genre: hogwarts!au, angst, enemies to lovers, slow burn, rivals, gryffindor quidditch keeper iwaizumi, slytherin quidditch captain f!reader
word count: 5.5k
warnings/notes: swearing, lots of angst, small depictions of violence, mentions of alcohol and drinking, not proof read im so sorry although i am an avid believer than both iwa and oikawa would be slytherins, i wanted to play with the idea of them being gryffindors, which actually makes sense when you think hard about it hfklhfd anyway! please enjoy!
part of a hogwarts collab !  collab masterlist posted here ! tysm to the wonderful @rintsuru​ for hosting <3
my general masterlist
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You could feel his presence from across the dining hall, immediately dowsing you in a raging hatred that you only reserved for him. His arrogance mocked you as he basically danced into the Great Hall bathed in compliments.
The Gryffindor quidditch team won against Ravenclaw the night before. You didn’t know why he had all of the glory... he wasn’t even the captain. Being keeper had its perks, you guessed.
You rolled your eyes and focused your attention to your food. You tried not to stab the plate as you heard the varying praises to the boy in red and gold. “Congrats, Iwa!” and “That last block was brilliant!” nearly made you want to choke.
Hajime Iwaizumi was simply not someone who deserved such compliments. He was vile, annoying, and did everything in his limited power to poke and prod at every single one of your nerves. You used to ignore your burning hatred that you harbored for him; but late in your second year, you had let it all out.
And, as it turned out, he wasn’t quite fond of you either.
It had been years since then, yet the feelings remained the same. It was just the start of your sixth year and you already wanted to gouge his eyes out with the pointy end of your fork.
Tooru Oikawa caught your gaze and sent you a cheeky smile. You wished that you could hate the captain as much as his keeper, but you only let your hatred for him simmer for so long. He was quite fun when he wasn’t next to the little shit.
“Just wait for next week when you verse Slytherin! You’re sure to win!” a small Gryffindor told them. 
“I wouldn’t be too sure.” You said, perhaps a bit too loudly. You lacked volume control, after all.
“What was that, Slytherin?” Iwaizumi turned to you. His gaze was fire on your skin and you wanted nothing but to catch him aflame as well. 
“Your arrogance and cockiness proceeds even you.” You said, voice monotone and venomous against the recent silence at your speech. “I wouldn’t be too sure of your success.”
“Say that again after the match.” Iwaizumi turned back to accept another compliment and find a place to sit at his house’s table.
You wondered if you would get expelled if an apple happened to launch out of your hands and land on the back of his head.
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Late in your second year, you had enough of Hajime Iwaizumi.
The both of you were in a silent competition the minute you were introduced to each other in your first year. It was never anything serious, just two eleven year olds who liked to be at the top.
It wasn’t until your second year that you started to feel genuine distaste for him. You had buried the thought of “hate” for a long time, masking it to be annoyance and opposition. 
The hatred was much deeper than a surface burn.
It was during charms class that you finally snapped. 
It was not more than the simple mutter of his breath. It was a mispronunciation of the spell and the tap of his wand against the table that made you lose your control. 
“Hajime! Can you please, for the love of Merlin, shut the fuck up!” The harsh language created a tense silence through the classroom. No twelve year old had the balls to curse that hard in front of that many people, including a professor. “If you are going to be an idiot, at least try to hide it.”
Hajime Iwaizumi turned in his seat to face you, irritation and vexation easily overpowering his shock. 
“Funny that you’re saying that.” He said.
“You’re so ridiculous.” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m Hajime Iwaizumi and I am a perfect student that can’t even properly pronounce a simple spell! But that doesn’t matter because guess who’s a keeper for the quidditch team when I’m only a second year!! I am perfect!! Literally no one likes you.”
“Trust me, no one likes you either.”
No one meaning, and translating to, I don’t.
Just to show off, you easily cast the charm that he had failed. Charms was your strong subject, so you only needed to say the spell and flick your wand before turning your attention back to him.
He was nearly smoking from his ears, he was both embarrassed and livid.
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You waved to Kei Tsukishima as you caught his gaze from the side of the hall. He was a fellow Slytherin and a good friend, though neither of you would admit that to each other.
He nodded as his greeting. He shoved his book back into his bag as you made your way to his side.
“Hey, Tsukki.” You said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until practice tomorrow.” 
“Yeah, I’m waiting for Yamaguchi.” He turned his body to lean against the wall. “We’re going to Hogsmeade today.”
“No invitation?”
He sighed. “Would you like to join us, Captain?”
“I was joking, no need to sound so enthusiastic.” You chuckled. As you started to speak again, Tadashi Yamaguchi left the classroom the two of you stood outside of. He smiled at you, his green and white reflecting off of his eyes.
“Captain!” Yamaguchi greeted, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Are you coming to Hogsmeade with us?”
“Be careful, the idiots are coming.” Tsukishima interrupted and warned, motioning over your shoulder.
You turned around to find Oikawa and Iwaizumi walking next to each other, laughing about something only the two of them knew. You had to hold back from making a comment.
“Yoohoo!” Tooru Oikawa caught your eye. You sighed and turned back to your fellow Slytherins, sharing a look. 
“Hello, Tooru.” You felt him beside you before you looked. 
You purposely didn’t look at Iwaizumi. 
“We’re celebrating our win tonight, you guys should join!” Oikawa invited. You heard Iwaizumi’s exhale of frustration, but you only rolled your eyes in an attempt to ignore his presence. 
“You want a group of Slytherins hanging out with you, celebrating your win, when we go against you in less than a week?” Tsukishima spoke up. He moved off of the wall. “No thanks. Come, Yamaguchi. Let’s go.”
Yamaguchi waved goodbye and followed his best friend down the hall. You pivoted to fully face the two Gryffindors.
“I’ll come.” You said, mainly out of spite.
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Tooru Oikawa was naturally outgoing. He was the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, a flirt, and all together a pretty chill person. You didn’t mind calling him a friend, despite the vast differences between you two.
One vast difference being his best friend.
Which is why you found yourself next to him as soon as you entered the Gryffindor party. The cascades of burgundy and gold created a deep atmosphere in the hidden room, lights dancing along the dark walls and the smell of various alcohols filled the air. It was a Gryffindor party, that much was true.
You were one of the very few Slytherins that occupied the room. Your eyes caught sight of only a couple, most of them much younger than you and just happy to be at one of their first few parties.
“Oi, a snake has crawled into the winner’s common room.” Oikawa joked as he handed you a can. You accepted. 
“A snake in a lion’s den, I wonder who will win.” You quipped. 
“The lion, for sure.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure. Snakes can eat things 100 percent their size.” You raised a brow and opened your can. 
“Hm,” Oikawa looked over his shoulder and called out for someone you didn’t see. “Hey! Who do you think would win, a lion or a snake?”
“A lion obviously.” It was Hajime Iwaizumi. 
You let out a groan, immediately losing your sense of humor. “Ah, you’ll see in less than a week.”
“I don’t think I will.” Iwaizumi said, stoic and annoyed. “This win was only one of few.”
“I suggest you just celebrate this win.” You took a sip. “Because I don’t think the losing team would like to come to the winner’s party.”
“That just means I will not be seeing you, which is a grand idea.”
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It was the time of year just before winter, where the air starts to cool but the sun still warms your skin. You took a breath and held your broom at your side. 
It was near minutes before the anticipated game against Gryffindor, and you could hear the crowds already. The rivalry between your houses was something that everyone enjoyed; the rivalry between you and their keeper was all you.
“Alright team.” You pivoted to the team behind you. “We’re playing Serpent first; and if we don’t get any points within the first two minutes, I’ll hold up the signal for Green. Got it?”
“Got it.”
You had a pretty well-rounded team in your honest opinion. Tsukishima was perfect as your keeper, he was never one to let anything get past him. Your chasers included you, Yamaguchi, and another girl named Yui Michimiya. You had the Miya twins for beaters. And, rather recently, you gained a new seeker named Tobio Kageyama. The same age as your keeper, but only wanted to join quidditch out of hate for the Gryffindor seeker (and who were you to deny that?).
The Gryffindor team was not one to mess with, they had a nice team too. Iwaizumi as the keeper, the Idiots Nishinoya and Tanaka as beaters, their new seeker Shoyo Hinata... but the problem was their chasers: Oikawa, Kiyoko Shimizu, and Wakatoshi Ushijima. They were so quick on their brooms, it was like working against wind.
Today was no day to lose.
“It’s our first official match of the year.” You encouraged. “Let’s show them who not to mess with.”
“Let’s absolutely destroy them.” Atsumu added.
You grinned.
As you headed towards the field, you could feel the adrenaline creeping into your bones. Quidditch had become routine, simple muscle memory as you moved to your starting positions. 
The Gryffindor team appeared, and you felt the excitement enter you in a rush of air.
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In the air, Hajime Iwaizumi felt at peace. He was very good at what he did, and he knew that, and the game was something he was passionate about.
He was also passionate about beating you.
You were the bane of his existence. You had never once sent him anything other than something bitter or sarcastic. You were an annoying pest that he simply couldn’t get rid of.
And as you threw the Quaffle into the goal just above his head, Iwaizumi felt his eye twitch.
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Slytherin won, Tobio Kageyama’s hand high with the Snitch inside. 
You watched in triumph as the teams descended on the brooms. From the skies down, you cheered.
“Congrats, Slytherin.” Oikawa said, though his tone was bitter and sour. 
You knew that he hated losing, so you didn’t push it. He was a friend, after all. Sending him just a small “I’m sorry you didn’t win” smile, you headed to your team. You gathered them into a hug, or rather-- a huddle, and ruffled the hair on Kageyama’s head. 
You peeked over your shoulder to catch sight of Iwaizumi. He was standing, hands at his sides, red face and eyes blank of any expression other than anger.
You smirked at him.
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Hajime Iwaizumi was on the other side of the victory this time, silently brooding as he picked at his food in the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table emitted zero volume. 
He was pissed off the second you entered the hall, Kei Tsukishima and Tadashi Yamaguchi walking beside you. The green and white seemed to glow, mocking him in the worst way imaginable. 
Oikawa tried to bring his attention back to the food, but Iwaizumi was focused primarily on you. You were gloating, relishing in his loss, taking delight in the compliments from your house. A Hufflepuff appeared at your side, and you smiled as you thanked them for their congratulations. 
He felt sick.
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You could not help but drown yourself in the triumph. You walked on air, the feeling of superiority tickling every inch of skin it could touch.
You waved goodbye to a couple of friends, heading directly to the Gryffindor table. You placed your hands on Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s shoulders, leaning to place your head right between theirs.
“I suppose the snake beats the lion.” You sent a wink to Iwaizumi, knowing full well how it would provoke him. 
“Fuck off.” Iwaizumi shoved your hand off of his shoulder.
“Go receive your praise at the Slytherin table.” Oikawa shooed, fork in hand. “You won’t find it here.”
“Sore losers.” You mocked just for fun. You stood straight. “I imagine that I would be the same, given it were the other way.”
You basically skipped back to your table for breakfast.
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You were absolutely elated for the rest of the day. It was quite similar to being on cloud 9, winning your first game of the year against your rivals. The look on Hajime Iwaizumi’s face only added to the feeling.
You were walking down the hall, talking to a fellow Slytherin girl who had her arm wrapped in yours. She was going on and on about how she wished she could have imprinted Kageyama’s snitch catch to her memory.
That was when your shoulder collided directly into a firm body.
Your arm was ripped away from your classmates, along with your bag that fell onto the hard ground with a loud thud and wisp of parchment and ink. Everything in your bag now scattered the ground, covered in the dark ink and dirt. 
Your mood was too high to get too angry. It was an accident; you would bite your tongue and clean up the mess.
Until you realized just who’s shoulder you ran into: Hajime Iwaizumi. Your greatest enemy and now destruction of your contents.
“Watch where you’re going next time, Hajime.” You grunted, kneeling to save some of your parchment before the ink could reach it. 
“Perhaps if you had your head out of your ass, you wouldn’t have run into me.” Iwaizumi responded. He had turned to face you midway through your fall.
“As if you didn’t feel this way a week ago.” You told him, standing up. Nearly everything that was in your bag was soaked, including the bag itself. You inhaled deeply. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Now, why would I run my shoulder into you on purpose hoping to ruin your mood?” He asked. “You must be very arrogant to think that everything must be about you.”
You clenched your jaw and closed your eyes. “I will not let a piece of shit such as yourself bring my mood down today. Today is a good day.”
You knelt once again to find your essay that you had written for Snape, searching your documents. Only to find it one of the few that were directly under the ink, completely doused in black.
“Actually, fuck you.” You lifted the paper. Ink dripped off and onto the ground. “Do you know how long I worked on this?”
“I don’t know, a couple of minutes?” Iwaizumi shrugged. “You aren’t exactly the best at your schoolwork.”
“You wish you knew me well, but you don’t at all.” You felt anger boil in your chest. “I worked very hard on this essay. Days, even. And you destroyed it in less than five seconds..”
“There’s the Slytherin in you.” He let out a humorless laugh. “You think everything has to be about you, and if it doesn’t than someone is out to get you. Your ego is so fucking enormous that you can’t even muster the idea that maybe something isn’t about you. You didn’t even win, Tobio won the game for you. God, why don’t you go make a friend instead of standing here arguing with me about an accident?”
And then, “You really are a raging bitch, aren’t you?”
The girl that you were talking to had wide eyes, and you were sure that she was ready to fight. A couple of bystanders that were once just listeners started to mumble. And you.... you couldn’t fathom words.
Your feud with him had grown deep, but it had never gone as far as that. In front of a crowd, no less. 
It was one thing to make comments, to be bitter and roll your eyes at each other’s presence. It was one thing to bicker, to fight, to joke to friends about the other’s incompetence and purposely pull on each other’s strings.
It was something else completely to call you a bitch in front of everyone in the middle of a hallway after a thread of insults.
You fake smiled, feeling unwanted tears threaten their way to your eyes. You would not allow yourself the angry tears; they would only make you angrier. 
“You’re more than just an asshole, Hajime Iwaizumi.” You told him. Because you truly didn’t have any words.
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“Calling a woman a bitch is the worst insult. Those are fighting words.” Oikawa’s older sister used to say. “It’s comparable to calling a man a pussy.”
Hajime Iwaizumi didn’t think much while he spoke. He just said the things as they came, especially when he didn’t really care much about what you thought of him.
But, calling you a bitch... that felt as if it were crossing a line that he didn’t have the authority to cross. And the look on your face after he said it was one that he had never witnessed on you.
At practice, his head still held the image of you. 
He was confused. Why did he regret calling you a name? It wasn’t as if the two of you don’t argue in front of people all of the time. In fact, it was nearly a common occurrence. 
For some ungodly reason, he felt a tug at his chest. 
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“Maybe you should apologize?” Oikawa suggested.
“Why would I apologize to her?”
“Because I think you went a little bit too far.” He told his best friend as truthfully as possible. “Because as much as I think the rivalry between you two is fun, she’s still just a girl. And because my sister said you should.”
“You wrote your sister?”
“Yeah, of course I did.”
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For several days, Hajime Iwaizumi hadn’t seen you. You didn’t eat in the Great Hall, you didn’t come to the classes he had with you, you didn’t go to Hogsmeade like you usually did on weekends.
So, he came to your practice.
He was hoping to apologize. It was something he had never done to you before, and he had practiced it quite a few times. Just a small, “I’m sorry for calling you a bitch in front of everyone.”
Yes. That should be fine and the two of you could go back to the regularly scheduled loathing.
But the second he stepped onto the field, the two beaters stood in front of him. 
“I wouldn’t.” Atsumu said, holding his broom. “She’s been in a mood.”
“I know, I’m the reason for that.” Iwaizumi said. “I just want to talk to her. Just a second.”
“I wouldn’t.” Osamu repeated. “Whatever you have to say, it’s gonna have to wait.”
Iwaizumi nodded, looking at the twins. He was going to ask them to tell you that he had been there, ask them to ask you to meet him somewhere or something so he can get the stupid apology off of his chest, when you appeared behind them.
“Get off of my field, Hajime Iwaizumi.” You said. You had been at practice for the past two hours (according to the sign ups), yet your voice was even and you hadn’t even broken a sweat. In fact, your voice spit toxin in his direction.
“I just wanted to...”
You had taken off before he could even say his second word. The twins followed right after.
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Tooru Oikawa took a place beside you. It would have been normal, if it were not for your avid avoidance of anyone with a Gryffindor robe on.
“Hello, Tooru.” You said without sparing him a glance.
The thing was, you weren’t angry with him. You didn’t hate Oikawa, you hated his closest friend. And by association, you didn’t want to talk to him just as much. Oikawa had always been the middle ground between the doom and gloom that was the dark haired man you hated.
“I think you should talk to Iwa.” Oikawa said. Plain and simple, to the point.
“I think you should mind your business.” You retorted. “I never talked to him to begin with, what’s different now?”
“Because now is different.” He grabbed his book as the professor walked in. “Now, you won’t even say your smart ass remarks or tell him how fucked up his hair looks. Now is just... boring and sad.”
“So you want me to talk to the guy I hate in order for you to not be bored?” You scoffed and collected your things. “Truly, you are his best friend.”
You left just as the professor started talking, receiving a few stares in the process. It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to that.
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You were walking with Tsukishima, laughing at your attempts to get him to smile. Your team had really taken your mind and restored your confidence. You figured, as long as you didn’t see the man you hate then he simply didn’t exist. It was that easy.
Until you accidentally caught his eye across the street. 
It had been snowing, so most of the students were in their winter gear and warm clothes. You yourself had a hat and scarf on, gloves to cover your hands despite the hot to-go mug of cocoa in them. 
Hogsmeade was quite busy with everyone getting last minute holiday gifts and hurrying to hang out before break. Yet, somehow, your eyes found the brown of Iwaizumi’s.
You turned around, forcing Tsukishima to follow. The younger boy didn’t even have to ask about your change in demeanor, easily falling into pace beside you. 
You felt a hand on your wrist, and heard your name being called. “Hey. Can I talk to you? I’ve been trying to apologize...”
You stopped dead in your tracks, as if you were pulled on a leash. As if his bare hand touching your empty gloved one had scolded you. Iwaizumi stood before you, red cheeks from either the cold or from rushing after you. Either way, you wanted nothing to do with it. 
He had spun you in his grasp, his jaw tight and eyes searching yours before falling to his hand around yours. His grip on your wrist was tight, and he swallowed as his eyes found yours again.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” You snatched your arm away. “Have you ever considered that? I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to hear your half-ass apology!”
“I have been trying to talk to you.” He said. “I...” His eyes scanned yours. His tongue rolled in his mouth. “You mean to tell me that you don’t want my apologies?”
“You’ve made it very clear what you think of me, so I hope that I can make this very clear for you,” You took a deep breath. “I hate you. I don’t like you, I have never liked you, and I hope that whatever it is that is eating you up inside continues to do so.”
Hajime Iwaizumi’s eye twitched. He started to take a step towards you, but decided against it, falling back into the same step. “I don’t...” His voice was nothing as you had ever heard it. “You...” His eyes clouded with the emotions you were familiar with. “Fine.”
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It was a sudden realization. It was not something you had even considered before, not something planned or reasoned. It was much like a tsunami, a build up of unrelated activity that brought something else entirely.
Emotions were unfortunate things. If you feel extreme emotions for someone, no matter what... they are still very strong feelings.
Hate to love, what a strange concept.
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You held the potion below your nose, inhaling the scent. 
“What does it smell like?” Snape asked.
“It smells like... bergamot.” You distinguished the varying smells. “Apple. And... lavender?”
You stepped back and hoped no one could see you connecting the dots through your eyes.
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Tooru Oikawa was an observant person. He was known to be the person who knew the best for his team, easily finding the perfect techniques for each on the field and as encouragement. He was one for connections and relationships.
Which is why he knew that you were masking feelings of something else with this burning hatred. Which is why he knew why you felt so bad after Iwa called you a terrible name in front of an audience. Which is why he knew who it was when you listed your amortentia scents.
He tried to send you a look from his seat across from you, classes later. He wanted to tell you that he knew; that he knew there was something more to what’s going on, and that something was Iwaizumi.
You just sent him a middle finger, knowing full well what he was getting at.
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Your feelings didn’t just suddenly arrive. And you were full of confusion, disorientation, and most of all... anger.
For as long as you could remember, Hajime Iwaizumi was supposed to be your arch enemy. He was your nemesis on a daily basis. He was the reason for your annoyance. He was the reason for your hatred for the colors red and gold. He was the reason you became the quidditch captain. He was the reason for the breath leaving your lungs.
And he was the reason for the breath entering.
You were pissed. You were pissed that you had unrealized feelings for the man you were supposed to hate, have hated for years. You were pissed that your love had been in a game of chess, where the only outcome is to win or forfeit. You were pissed that the entire time you had spent a vast majority of your time hating, loathing, rolling your eyes at... the entire time you had a reserved space for hate, when it should have been quite the opposite.
The luck must have been exclusively for someone else, because it seemed as though whoever created you had decided to have a fun game.
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You had punched Hajime Iwaizumi once. 
It was something you thought of a lot, and it was the main reason Iwaizumi chose not to test you too closely to that day. 
He was rolling his eyes at something Oikawa was saying when you walked by. You were heading to your quidditch practice, the captain not one for latecomers. And he caught sight of you. He quickly jumped from his spot and stopped you from passing.
“Out of the way, Hajime, I have practice.”
“Oh, right, because you’re on the quidditch team now.”
“I am, thank you very much.” It was the beginning of third year, and you were not only annoyed but you were also a Growing Person going through puberty. You did not have time to deal with a teenage boy pissing you off. “You forget that not everyone got on the team their first year of trying out.”
“Because we’re better than the entire Slytherin team.”
“Talk to me when you win a house cup.” You tried to push past him, but he stood directly in front of you in one step. “Move, or be moved.”
“What are you going to do? Punch me?”
So, you did. Your fist collided with his cheek before you could even register that it had happened. Oikawa gasped out loud, it quickly turning into a laugh. 
“She punched you!” Oikawa laughed, grasping at his sides. “Ah man!”
While Iwaizumi touched his cheek to check that— ah yes, you really did punch him— you were already walking away to the practice field.
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Iwaizumi missed you, if he were being fully and completely honest with himself.
He found himself searching for you in classes or in common areas, prepared for your snide remarks and bitter taunts. He found himself waiting for you to roll your eyes at his presence; looking for you to quip about the next quidditch game.
But when none of it came, he felt out of place.
He actually missed your annoyed banter. He missed you shoving your middle finger in his direction. He missed the redness on your cheeks when you would try to calm yourself down. He missed the silence that would escape you if he entered a room and you were anything other than angry.
He missed catching you smiling at someone and watching your face change. He missed the arguments in class. He missed the little comments during eating.
Confused, he pushed those feelings down as he watched you eat with some Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff that he had never talked to before.
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It had been several weeks of silence from your end. You had thrown yourself back into quidditch before the break, happy to have a distraction from whatever the fuck you were feeling. You weren’t going home for the holidays, so you spent some time planning for the spring and classes.
You found yourself outside, sitting in the snow and writing a make up essay for Snape. You had found a nice spot under a roofed area, so nothing smudged your writing (or, you know, covered it completely). 
“Oh.” A voice said from above you.
You looked up to find Iwaizumi, hands in pockets and staring at you as if you had never existed and he was discovering you for the first time.
“I wasn’t expecting to find anyone here.” He said. 
“Yeah, obviously neither was I.” You started to put your things away.
“No... no comment?”
“No... snarky comment? No you look terrible to me?”
You shook your head. Mainly because you didn’t have the energy. You were content, bored, and just overall exhausted. You had exhausted yourself in thinking of every possible outcome to your love for the man in front of you, none of which made any sense.
None of it made any sense.
It was as if one moment, you were standing on ground. And the next, you were swept away by a giant wave that you thought was only an earthquake. You hated love. 
“Then, can I finally say what I have been meaning to?”
“No.” You finally got the last of your things into your bag. 
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you just hear me out?” He stood in front of you, hoping to stall your leaving. “I’ve been trying to tell you that I shouldn’t have called you a bitch, and I should have...”
“And I don’t want to hear it.”
You started to leave, but he jogged to jump in front of you again. Through the years, he had gained height compared to you. You weren’t necessarily kids anymore, you weren’t at eye level to just punch him in his cheek without reaching for it. 
“God, you’re fucking annoying.” You shifted your bag on your shoulders. “You want me to call you a name so it can be even? You want me to tell you that everything is fine and we can go back to our constant fighting? What do you fucking want from me?”
“What do I want from you?” He asked, voice rising to match yours. “What do you want from me? I’ve been trying to get your attention for over a fucking month and you have given me every reason to just stop.”
“Then why don’t you!” You dropped your hands. “Why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”
“Why what, Hajime?”
“Why?” Iwaizumi let out a small breath, the grey cloud leaving his lungs. “Why won’t you just let me talk to you for five minutes?”
“Because I don’t want to! Because I don’t want to hear you make up excuses. Because I cannot listen to your voice for too long.”
Before you could stop yourself, before you could recognize your own voice, before any thoughts arrived, you said, “Because for some fucked up god awful reason, I’m in love with you!”
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Everything froze all at once. The oxygen left your lungs, the snow stopped falling, and everything became so unbearably silent.
You stared at him, regret drenching you in an instant as if the tides of the ocean had rose and fell in one single motion. You couldn’t breathe, your heart seized in your chest and against your ribs. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his face, fearing to find yourself lost and never found.
He let out a single breath. And you held yours.
528 notes · View notes
yinses · a year ago
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| he would make sure that everyone knew who you belonged to |
tattoo artist! sukuna ryomen
rating: t
a/n: this is going to be a three part series. it got too long because i couldn’t shut up. thank you to @teoran for beta reading !! 
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you should have never informed yuuji that you were thinking about getting a tattoo, because of course his first response would be hey, sukuna owns a shop. why don’t you stop there. as if you didn’t already known that. your other friend, unfortunately had not known how to be subtle about it.
its when you go to hand off your card that they gasp audibly, drawing the attention of both yourself and the woman behind the counter.
“you’re not going to ask for a discount? i mean you know the owner, right?”
she jumps back quick enough to dodge the errant elbow you throw her way.
you knew you would regret telling her.
the woman is undeterred as she take your card, looking bored with the news. “so you know sukuna, huh?” the way she said it implied that it wasn’t the first time it had been made known to her.
you had known the man long enough to know where her thoughts were going with that assumption. sukuna wasn’t only popular for his art. a shudder rolled through your body at the idea of being categorized as one of his flings.
it wasn’t as though you were intentionally shaming the women. but it was sukuna. the same guy who locked you and his younger brother out on the patio whenever he was meant to keep an eye on you. and then blamed you for hiding from him when the responsible adults got home.
in hindsight, maybe you should have chosen another location. but now your card has been charged.
you scribbled your signature on the receipt, “uh yeah, awhile now. im not requesting him or anything.”
“his appointment book is full anyway. he doesn’t take walk ins.” its not said snidely, just matter of fact. as if she was seasoned with dealing with these kind of customers.
the man of topic strides in then, carrying a few bags of take-out that he drops carelessly onto the counter. he doesn’t m look unlike any other day, a loose white sleeveless shirt with a low hanging v-neck that just invited attention to his skin. the swirls of black ink made permanent by his hand only. though that was the advantage of this field and owning your own business on top of it.
sukuna was prepared to ignore the clientele planted at front desk, until he did a double take. those vermilion eyes took you in, morphing from speculation, to shock, a pinch of awe, then back to postulation.
“what are you doing here?”
a small frown mars you face. you didn’t actually consider that perhaps sukuna wouldn’t want you here. it was one thing to know the guy, but whether you wanted to accept it or not, you weren’t just another customer. so you unsurely respond with, “getting a tattoo?”
the snort he gives isn't one of annoyance. in fact its almost comforting to see the minuscule curl of his lips until they start to part, “yeah, missing something aren’t you?”
you realize with a frown that he’s referring to his brother.
“i have other friends.”
that slow smile wides as he gives your friend a brief look of appreciation. suddenly all those years of witnessing him cart his flings around rise to the forefront of your mind.  really nothing rarely changed. “ i can see that.”
his gaze cuts back to you, “what are you getting? your boyfriends name?”
you cant tell if he’s teasing, fishing or a combination of them both.
he turns to lean over the counter, arms flexing at the action and pinches the fresh design still hot from the printer. you resist the urge to shuffle in place as he inspects the image with more interest than there were lines. it was hardly all that complex, just as you intended.
sukuna finally voices his opinion, to no surprise of your own. “yeah? kind of small isn’t it?”
“its my first sukuna,” you drawl.
you realize too late that the wording isnt best around him.
“no kidding.”
he tugs a styrofoam box free from the plastic bag before gesturing to you with a tilt of his head.
“alright, lets knock it out.”
you look to the woman expecting her to complain about his pending appointments but she only returns it with a pointed look. when it came down to it, what the boss wanted goes.
right then.
turning, you address your friend who seemed more invested in watching sukuna’s departure. “are you coming?”
her gaze snaps to you and she doesn’t even bother to pretend. she shrugs, “you may not be squeamish about needles but i am.” her hand waves vaguely towards the lounge area near the coffee station and stack of assorted snacks. “i’ll come running if you scream though,” she teases as you turn down the hall.
sukuna’s voice carries from the right in guidance where you find him setting his food off to the side. the room is neat. though you don’t know what you were expecting given the health expectations lining his work. then again, you’d spent the better part of the decade watching him cart week old pizza boxes out of his room so it was hardly a baseless assumption.
aside from the desk of tools and variety of inks the only other defining feature was the wall at the back. there was no rhyme or direction to the madness. the once white wall was littered with varying penmanships and messages. almost like an autograph book. some derogatory, others genuinely thankful for his work - you think you see a few numbers too.
the cushion of the seat protests under his weight as he rolls to the center of the room. he has the stencil of your chosen art held up in expectation.
“where is this pretty little thing going?”
“oh my rib- here on the right.” you think nothing of bringing up the hem of your shirt to expose the skin just under the curve of your breast.
he almost looks impressed, though there is some doubt. he wheels closer and gives no warning as his hand palpates the area. “over the bone? that’s daring for your first tattoo, princess.”
the name was nothing new, an accompaniment to yuuji’s ‘brat’.
part of you actually grateful that its sukuna. the entire shop had good reviews but it was best known for his talent. besides, the charge was already sitting on your card.
“i can handle it.”
he’s still squinting at your side, fingers tickling at your skin.
“yeah?” he answers absently. nimble digits you didn't think had any taste for delicacy carefully peel the plastic from the stencil. he doesn’t second guess himself in the slightest before pressing it to your skin.
when he pulls away, the chair follows him as he collects a hand mirror from his desk to reflect the design back to you.
“double sure?” he’s still rallying your resolve, but there is a hint of warning to his voice as professionalism seeps in.
with a firm nod you seal the deal,” yeah.”
“aright, pin up your shirt out of the way. tuck it into your bra if you want.”
you were expecting this already, given the location you’d decided on. with sukuna that action comes effortlessly without thought. it was no different than the times he’d seen you in your bathing suit, your brain reasoned. at least you still had your pants this time.
sukuna rests back into a lean against his small desk. absently you note that his eyes haven't left you once since you’d entered the room.
“eager little thing aren't you?”
but its sukuna.
you shrug.“ i guess. kind of been saving up for this one.”
the noise he makes is non-committal as he nods to the angled chair.
without your shirt there was no barrier between yourself and the leather. you expected the cold chill but the lack of stickiness kind of surprised you. once again you were reminded of the indisputable list of reviews at your fingertips.
sukuna goes about collecting the materials to disinfect your skin, angling the bottle and cotton over the trash can to catch the excess drops. satisfied with the saturation, he slides back.
you try to absorb the brief shock you feel when he applies the alcohol to your skin. it was hardly a substitute for actual bracing to come but it was good practice. when you look up, you catch his gaze again.
he’d been more observant in these last few minutes than you could ever recall sukuna caring before. maybe it was the job. though the thought of him excelling at customer service has you fighting a snort.
“cold,” you supply and he gives another grunt.
he chucks the cotton ball into the trash with all the efficiency of a man who has made a sport out of it and probably keeps score.
deciding on a solid color eliminated the need for him to break away to change shades, eliminating any surplus time keeping you in this chair.
a gloved hand braces your side, pinching the skin, while the other holding the gun rests against your sternum. when the motor starts you take a careful breath in. sukuna’s eyes raise at the sound.
“not nervous?”
you blink, expecting him to just get to it.
“uh, not really? i’ve never really been afraid of needles.”
he pauses. just when you part your lips to ask what wrong the buzzing starts.
its impossible not to tense at the first bite of the needle. but you fight the urge to jerk. it stings. the vibration of the motor is uncomfortable against your ribcage but it's not unbearable. you certainly wouldn't cry.
sukuna seems to notice it as well.
“not going to lie thought you’d be more of a cry baby? weren't you the one sobbing after you stubbed your toe.”
you latch onto the idle chatter even if it's a jibe.
“i was eleven and i sprained that toe.”
he gives you a quick glance. “sure, princess. completely called for the waterworks.”
you snort. “yeah well it made me stronger. im barely affected today.”
your words are followed by a shift of his hand as it turns to follow a line, the movement pressing firmly against the underside of your breast. you're too attentive to the needle pinching at your skin to take notice.
but sukuna does, eyes narrowing without your awareness.
“yeah, i can see that.”
rather than closing your eyes to block out the pain, you find a more comforting distraction in tracing the lines of his tattoos with your gaze. you can hardly make out the first tattoo he’d gotten at the age of seventeen after forging his parents signature. 
the abstract design had now branched out, interlocking with new styles to map out the formation of a sleeve. it was almost like his own branded language. a dialect of bold shapes and bands. you’d never thought to actually ask what his tattoos meant. nor did you expect an honest answer.  
sukuna works rather quickly and efficiently while your mind wandered. even if he hadn’t squeezed you in during his lunch break this felt like the usual pace for him. he looked so in the zone as he followed the pre-made lines to perfection.
you weren’t the model customer, still having your brief moments of weakness but he rolled with the interruptions better than you expected. sukuna was brash growing up and didn’t tolerate nonsensical people. you’d had your fair share of opportunities to be chewed out by him.
and earned a reasonable amount of them, though your returning attitude said otherwise.
but this sukuna was softer, if you could put it like that. he knew the right time to give you breaks but didn’t let your nerves settle too much. when he wasn’t adding a layer to permanency to your skin, an errant finger would smooth over the swelling flesh.
more than once you heard him throw out a quiet good girl. that you knew was meant to be encouraging but it came with additional implications that tickled your skin.
he tells you that you should be grateful that the artwork doesn’t need any shading. that it was never a good fit for beginners.
your chest expands the furthest it had in the last half hour when he finally rolls back.
“alright, princess, go ahead and take a look.”
you take the offered mirror again and angle it to take in the fresh piece. the reflection you get back is- amazing. you’d been so concentrated?? on micromanaging the pain that you failed to take in the little details he’d added along with the original design.
as if reading your thoughts, he snorts. “it's not my art if i don't leave my mark. you can tell me it looks good you know.”
if you didn't know any better, you’d say he was authentic in his attempt to bait your approval.
and you had no reason not to provide.
your legs are a little shaky but you manage to balance yourself before brining the eldest itadori into a hug. sukuna goes stiff for a moment before returning the embrace and doesn’t resist when you press your face into his shoulder. there’s an awkward pat before they release each other from the hold.
sukuna .. before he’s shrugging you off.
“god, what a noob. at least let me cover it up. you’re going to irritate the skin.”
when he turns back to rummage through his desk you note the hint of a flush creeping up his nape. you know better than to mention it, instead just smiling at his back.
there is a scowl on his face as he applies the cotton square to your skin and tapes it in place.
“please do not itch this shit. i don’t care if you feel like your skin is going to fall off.”
he presses a small tube of antibiotic into your hand.
“and apply this daily. you don't need it drying out. “
you’re grateful for the little slip of printed instructions that follow. you were able to remember the sensible directions but it couldn't hurt to have additional guidance when you started to question the progress.
“oh and no sex.”
that was definitely not on the list.
sukuna raises a brow in all seriousness. “what? if you get your blood pumping too much.”
you call him on his bullshit,” this small? hardly. “
he raises his hands in mock surrender. “alright, try it yourself if you want. i charge for touch ups though.”
the two of you size each other up. just like old times.
with a sigh you relent, “fine, no sex.”
“good, see me in two weeks.”
his words stop you short. it wasn’t as if you needed anything added and he wasn’t a physician checking on your progress. if anything, you would only revisit your artist if there was a problem.
“what for?”
the dawning grin would follow you for the next fourteen days.
“to make sure you didn’t have sex.”
991 notes · View notes
that-one-weeb-but-starwars · 9 months ago
One Night| Hunter
Note: Nsfw content,
Warnings: creampies, p in v, facials, squirting, name calling, rough, hair pulling, light choking, smoking 18+ content
Reader: Female
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"Thanks again." Y/n thanked the kessel burbon slid to her, sliding credits to Cid, "any more missions?"
"No,those clone boys took the last one I had." Cid spoke, "there won't be any more for a few cycles."
"Clones took my jobs?" Y/n questioned, sipping the hard liquor.
"Yeah! When wrecker through those KT troopers like it was nothing!" Omega cheered as the group walked down into the bar.
"Speak of the devil." Cid spoke, Y/n turning her head.
"Yes Wrecker's strength was acceptionally helpful this mission. Yet Omega's new tracking skills came in handy." Tech spoke.
"And Echo's climbing skills! How do you do that with one hand?!" Omega cheered.
"Pratice." Echo spoke.
Hunter chuckled at Omega's happiness.
"We did good boys-"
He stopped, seeing Y/n casually talking to Cid, sipping on her drink, her hair a mess, a few braids in her short hair making her hair uneven in both long and short length. In baggy black robes a belt tired tigh around her waist. Boots knee high with her baggy pants tucked in. Her eyeliner red and in sharp wings up towards her relaxed brows.
She turned her gaze towards hunter, her eyes a cybernetic white, then her head followed. Her gaze lingering on him as she smiled smally.
"Oh no no no! Watch your eyes dark and broody!" Cid argued, rushing around the counter.
"Don't mind me I'm also looking disrespectfully." Y/n teased getting up from her seat, following behind Cid.
"Uh," Hunter tried to speak, woah was his only thought process, "Your...new."
"Not knew. Just havent seen me before." Y/n smiled, standing next to Cid with a hand on her hip, "names Y/n's and Im presuming you all are the clones that have been taking my jobs?"
"Oh, we are?" Omega looked up at Hunter, who was still at a lost for words.
"What?" Hunter asked looking down at Omega.
Y/n chuckled, walking up to the longer haired male, "Listen, dark and broody, we can be friends. I just want my missions."
She leaned into his face, his face becoming red "Y-yeah..."
"Thanks then." Y/n smiled, his eyes gazing to his banana, "I'll take this as payment for taking my last missions."
With ease she pulled the headband off his head, turning her head half way to talk to Cid she smiled.
"I'll see you late then mom." Y/n chuckled, nudging Hunter as she passed, "Im off to collect some credits Im owed."
"Did she just call Cid Mom?" Wrecker questioned Y/n walking out the bar and up the steps.
"I believe she did." Tech responded.
Hunter was hit in the side with Cid's walking staff, "I'm docking your pay half!"
"What!?" Hunter argued.
"Thats what you get for lookin at my kid like that!" Cid defended, "watch it next time"
"Well if our pay has already been docked. She was quiet pretty. Her eyes especially." Tech repsonded as Hunter nudged him hard.
"Don't worry, Hunter if you marry her Cid's your new mom!" Wrecker laughed shoving the man.
"I don't even know her!" Hunter argued.
"And that'll never happen!" Cid defended, "now watch it before I dock all your pay! You won't be seeing her again."
"But she took Hunter's bandanna." Omega pointed out, Hunter feeling his head.
"She did?!"
"And I thought Wrecker had it bad for that twilek girl he helped at the market." Echo told.
So there Hunter was, left the whole day with no headband, atleast 3 standard hours he waited, rubbing his head feeling as if he was missing something, well he was missing something.
"Hey! Mom! You'll never guess the load I got this time!" Y/n called out walking down the steps and into the bar, "I beat fifteen of the finest warriors apparently! Yeah right!"
Y/n walked in, gym bag at her side, the boys turning to the girl, stripped down to a tank top and a diffrent set of black pants that were tucked into her boots, a certain red bandana around her thigh.
"Oh you're all still here." She spoke, "I was-"
Hunter stepped infront of her, "I'd like my bandana back."
"Hm? Yeah come on." Y/n spoke, walking around him, "follow me."
"Yeah no sorry- not happening-" Hunter argued grabbing her wrist, "just hand it over."
Y/n ripped her wrist from him, hurting his hand in the process, "well then take it off, its right there."
Hunter kept his gaze away from Y/n's thigh, her ahoulder looking interesting at the momment.
"Well its mine then." Y/n spoke going to walk away but her arm was grabbed, Hunter turning to her as he kept his gaze up, his hands feeling for the band,
She chuckled, "little higher and you'll be at my zipper-"
He sighed looking away as he felt his bandana, his hand reaching around and untying it from her thigh.
"You smell nice." Y/n teased
"I don't see how you're Cid's kid." Hunter commented.
"Not by blood sweetheart." Y/n commented.
There was a chuckle as Hunter turned his head, Tech and Echo going back to there silence Wrecker luckily out and about with Omega. Hunter removed the band finally as Y/n chuckled.
Y/n leaned over, kissing Hunter's cheek as he flushed, "rooms down the hall on your left, we should be lucky my mom's on the upper floors."
Hunter only nodded as Y/n walked away, waving to his two brothers who were playing sabbec at the bar.
Hunter turned around to follow her a few mintues later, "don't be too loud."
Hunter glared at the two but made his leave anyways, following Y/n's instructions. Making it to the last door he knocked the door sliding open as Y/n sat on the floor, a tray in her lap, neon fairy lights on the strung carelessly on the walls and ceiling, weapons littered on the floor, some things hanging on the walls, there was a mess of the bed.
"So you came." She spoke popping whatever she was rolling into a jar, setting it on her nightstand and pushing the tray into the drawer. Standing up zhe grabbed a box of matches, throwing herself into one of the large bean bag chairs, big enough for two people, "lock the door would you?"
He did as asked, "why call me in here?"
"Well...Dark and Broody." Y/n spoke, "sit, come on."
Patting the seat besides her he walked over, "I have a name."
"Okay? Tell me it."
"Okay Hunter." She spoke, "you seemed tense. So we. Me and you. Are gonna smoke-"
"Smoke? Smoke what-"
"One of these." Y/n spoke holding up the jar, "Kessel herb."
"Spice? Yeah no-"
"No. Herb." Y/n defended, "there's a big difference."
Hunter watched her swish the jar around in front of him, "you pick one for me atleast."
Mentally sighing he did as asked, Pulling out a joint for her she smiled, closing the jar and setting it aside, "atleast this doesn't smell bad, smells like flowers."
Hunter watched her open up the match box, the joint between her lips as she striked the first match, a complete dud, she moved onto the second one, also a dud, by the fourth one Hunter was wondering if she'd ever light the thing.
"Dropped them in water-"
"I can do it." Hunter cut off, Y/n gladly handing him the match box as she leaned over, he striking out on the first match but the second one he got working, the flame bright and prominet despite the red undertone of the lights, leaning over as well he lit the thing easy as pie.
He watched her take a deep inhale in bowing out through her nose she leaned back, muscles already calming and relaxing.
"Why did you really call me in here."
"I told you to smoke." Y/n spoke, "I know a stressed man when I see one. Shit half the time I am a stressed man."
Hunter watched her take in another puff, "Plus it would ruffle my moms scales."
Hunter chuckled Y/n was right about that much, "yet also wanted to see if you wanted to hook up for a night."
Hunter coughed, not because of the smoke but the abruptness, "I'm sorry?"
"Well I seen you look at me the way you did earlier," she told, "and you're pretty good looking, but you seem to atleast have a good head on your sholders, men I know that look at me usually make a comment right away, you kept them to yourself."
Hunter responded with silence, "it's just a suggestion, an idea." She told him turning to look at him.
Again silence and Y/n contuined to smoke as if it was no problem that he said no, he found it, hot, sexy even. She knew what she wanted and she asked if told no she was okay with that, carrying out through her day.
"Why me?"
"I just explained why, you." Y/n spoke, "its yes or no tense guy."
Hunter shifted, its been a while, he mentally sighed, Y/n returning to smoking casually. Was this a way of teasing? If it was, it was harsh, and it was working. Shifting once more there chlothed and armored touching one another.
Damn, Hunter thought, to have her strong thigh in his hand, his head between her thighs. He looked up seeing Y/n pull the joint away once more, feeling the stare Y/n turned her head
"Wanna try it after all?" Y/n questioned, bringing the joint infront of him, "if not more for me."
Fuck it, the empire rules the galaxy, the republic fell, his brother is trying to kill them, what could he possibly loose from having any fun.
He took it with gloved fingers bringing it to his lips, Y/n watched him take a deep inhale, Y/n impresssed.
"This isnt your first rodeo." She teased.
He leaned in closer to her, if even physically possible, removing the joint from his lips, he pushed closer to Y/n, his lips placed on her's softly, and only for a momment, then pulled away, strings of smoke coming from both there lips now as Hunter's mind felt clear, relaxed.
"Lets do it." Hunter responded, usuing his armor as an ash tray, pressing the ashes to death on his chest plate as the embers died.
"One puffs not gonna get you anywhere." Y/n teased.
"But you will..." he whispered against her lips, pressing furthur once more he kissed her.
The kiss much more passionate than the first, Y/n running her hands through his hair, his bandanna slipping off in the process as she tossed it away.
"Fuck you're so hot..." He whispered into the kiss, Y/n moaning softly, his hands untucking her white tank top from her pants.
"Don't tell Im sharing with someone, thats why you came back all undressed." He teased against her lips, his hands hiking up her t-shirt past her covered breast.
"If sharing means arena fights. Then yes." Y/n teased back causing Hunter to chuckle.
Hunter pulled away, unclapssing his armor as she watched, letting it be tossed to the floor he was stripped down to his blacks. Bitting her lip at the buldge in his blacks, he leaned back into her,kissing her lip's passionately, forcing his tongue into her mouth she groaned, his touange pressing against his as they fought.
The kiss ended in a tie, both pulling away panting, Hunter let his hand's find her bare skin in the mean time, traveling up her adoment and covered breast he found her shirt, pulling away he lifted it over her head and arms. About to kiss her again she stopped him, pulling on the edge of his blacks, she pulled his shirt up, he lifting his arms in the process, his gloves rolling off with his sleeves in the process. Tossing the article of chlothing somewhere random. He removing her black sports bra, he kissed her just above her breast.
She humming in pleasure as he did so, traveling up to her neck, kicking her boots and socks off in the process, her legs tensed squeezing together Hunter had found her sweet spot, the space just above her collar bone, where her muscle was tense.
"H-hunter..." she panted, kissing the side of his head as she let out a soft groan, her head rolling back as her fingers tugged on his hair.
"You drive me crazy doing that..." Hunter whispered against her skin, dragging his kisses down her chest, and to her breast, where he let himself take in one of her soft buds.
"Fuck..." he moaned, his hair being pulled once more.
"Maker you're mouths amazing-" Y/n spoke her legs squeeze together tighter, adding to her pleasure as she groaned.
Switching over to give the second one just as much attention his hand cupped her other breast, squeezing her battle scared flesh softly, his other hand slipping behind her waist band slipping into her panties.
Hunter pulled away from her bud with a intoxicated look, "Your soaked..."
Y/n chuckled, "and you're hard as a rock..."
Pulling his hands away from her, she watched him undo her pants, pulling them down as quick as he could, and with her help of kicking them off they were gone.
Y/n reached for the last of his blacks, pulling them off his hips he pulled at them as well, removing his boxers as well. His chlothes barely releasing his length, Y/n's hand wrapped around the base of his aching cock.
Y/n's face laced with warmth and a teasing smirk she let her thumb rub the strip under the base of his cock, he groaned watching her tease his cock. His hand pulling at her panties she raised her hips to help, and he loosely pulled them down enough to let his hand go between her legs.
His finger's teasing her clit softly as she meweled, "Fucking hell..." she whined softly.
Both messes under each other's touches Y/n picked up a pace, her hand starting to milk his cock as he moaned heavily, body both relaxed and tense he gripped her thigh.
"Easy- now..." Y/n whispered to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips, "Don't wanna finish just in my hand do we?"
Hunter shook his head no, "you better be on something...I'm gonna cum in you till you beg me to stop..." he moaned.
She chuckled, leaning into his ear, "yeah? Am I gonna be sitting in pools of your cum?"
"Fuck yeah you are." He told her, "f-from every fuckin hole, starting with you're mouth."
She was taken back both by comment. He stood up as she looked up at him, his cock in her face, she moved forward, her lips brushing against his cock as she licked his tip, the taste of Pre-Cum now on her touange.
"Salty..." she teased kissing down his shaft, her hand wrapping around his base. Looking up at him his face was flushed, yet still held a determined look of lust in his eye.
Pulling back to the tip of his cock she kissed the tip, opening her mouth she pushed his tip in, her hands resting on his hips.
Fuck does he feel so good down my throat, Y/n thought, her eyes closed as she moaned, bobbing her head almost instantly causing Hunter to groan.
"Easy doll. You don't wanna choke." He teased, watching her bobbing increase he moaned loudly, her pace only increasing, "Maker you know to suck cock- s-shit-"
Y/n pulled away jacking his siliva covered cock off, "H-hunter fill me with your cum please. I wanna be in a pool of your cum."
He covered his mouth, what the fuck., but he wasnt complaining, watching her deep throat him again he groaned, his hips starting to pool back and thrust, and as soon as he knew it he was holding the back of her head, mouth fucking her hard.
"Yeah baby take it all...like a little slut take it all for me." He moaned, " hell- I'm-"
Hunter hit deep inside her mouth, cumming down her throat, mid way pulling out letting the rest coat her face.
"H-hunter!" She meweled, but he covered her mouth, not wanting anyone to hear.
She swallowed his cum, groaning into his hand as he pulled his hand away.
"They can't hear us..." she panted, cum covered her face and mixed with her drool as she tried to catch her breath, "t-the walls are solid concrete..."
"Well then...I suppose I will be making you scream..." he panted as she bit her lip, looking down at her he chuckled.
Face covered in cum, running down her lips and chin, her breast perky, marks already starting to form on her neck, her panties down to her knees as she sat waiting for him, flushed and horny.
"Maker I can not wait to put my cock in that tight pussy of your's." He told her, his thumb holding her chin.
"Then do it. Fuck me till you can't cum no more" she begged, watching him kneel down infront of her, causing him to chuckle.
"I want a taste of you first." He told her.
Pulling her panties off she bit her lip as he grabbed her legs roughly by the back of her knees, spreading them from one another, she shifted in her spot, allowing her legs to spread a bit wider and give him a better veiw. Hunter didn't bother teasing her, her pussy soaked and aching as he dived in, eating at her clit.
"F-fuck Hunter!" She cried, her back arching as she gripped onto his hair immediately.
Y/n was in heaven, Hunter between her legs completely devoring her.
"Baby so sweet..." he moaned into her cunt, licking up every bit of her fluid he could, shoving his touange deep inside her.
"Oh- maker! Fuck me! Please fuck me!" She begged, his fingers joining his touange deep inside her, as an incoherent mewel escaped her lips, his fingers thrusting deep inside her.
"Come on baby..squirt for me i wanna taste it." He whispered against her cunt.
"H-holy shit!" Y/n exclaimed, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, eating her raw her back arched and her legs squeezed together but he pulled away, spanking her on the back of the thigh.
"Do that again and I'll stop eating you out and fuck you until you're raw." Hunter deamnded, she nodded mindlessly, as he went back to devoring her.
Her pussy pulsating as he shoved his touange deep insider her, his fingers competing for space.
"H-hunter..." she whined, feeling like she was to snap, "H-Hunter- Hunter! Hunter!"
She squirted into his mouth, her legs squeezing together in pleasure.
"F-fuck!" She moaned, back arching as her legs shook, "F-fuck,"
He pulled away from her, flicking her clit with his fingers intesifiying her orgaism. Moaning loudly she watched him getting up to his knees he leaned over her grabbing her face.
"I told you if you closed your legs again I'd fuck you until your raw." He argued as Y/n blushed deeply.
"I'm sorry sir..." she apologized, pussy still pulsating, still completely soaked with a mix of her own cum and his siliva.
"What did you call me?"
"S-sorry daddy." She apologized.
"Atleast you know your place."
Holy fuck, where did this Hunter come from? Not that she knew Hunter at all, but it was still a shock to see the 'dark and broody' man become such a sex addict that liked to be called daddy.
"You either call me daddy or sarge," he demanded grabbing her chin, "understand?"
She nodded in response.
"I can't hear you."
"Yes daddy."
"Good girl..." he praised, "the better you are the more cum you'll get, understand?"
"Yes daddy."
He spred her legs open again, his knees resting on the bean bag below her as he lined himself up with her soaked entrence. Pushing his tip in her she moaned loudly, her feet resting on his hips, he chuckled, grabbing her hips tightly he shoved himself in her fully.
"F-fuck!" She cried out, "Oh maker yes!"
He started beating into her without warning, she crying out in pleasure as her body shook.
"D-daddy so rough! Oh-yes!" She shouted.
"Touch yourself While I fuck you," he demanded, her hand hand reaching between her legs,rubbing her clit while he fucked her senseless, "Good girl, looks like someone wants to be filled with cum."
She moaned nodding her head in the process as he beating balls deep into her, hearing his cum filled balls slapping against her soaked skin.
"F-fuck daddy please!" She begged, one of his hands finding the back of her hair as he gripped it, arching her over.
"Please what baby girl? Come on. Tell daddy what you want."
"P-please cum in me!" She cried drooling in pleasure, he groaned her tight pussy walls clenching around him, "H-Hunter!"
Moaning heavily he gripped her hair tighter, her free hand gripping his forearm as she bit her lip. The feeling built up in her stomach.
"Y-yeah! D-daddy! Daddy make me cum!" She begged, he watched her come unraveled, beating into her roughly her back arched, toes curling as she moaned loudly, soaking his cock as she squirted onto him, he pulled out of her, rubbing her clit intesifiying her orgaism.
"Oh- Shit!" She cried, the quicker he rubbing her clit more she squirted, slipping back into her he delievered a few hard thrust as she cried out, pulling out once more her orgaism intense as she held her legs open.
"Fuck daddy!" She cried.
"Come on baby let it all out." He praised, slipping into her again and fucking her roughly for a few more thrust, pulling out once more as she squirted the last she could.
"H-hunter- Hunter!"
"Shh baby. Shh." He spoke leaning kissing her roughly she kissed back, pulling away he looked down at her, "You still need my cum in you huh baby?"
"Mhmm, yes please." She begged.
"Good girl." He praised, kissing her sloppily as she groaned.
Pulling away she held onto his arm as he pushed his way back into her, causing her to mewel out his name.
"What a perfect little pussy." He told her, starting to thrust into her, his hand rest at the side of her throat as his thumb pulled her chin down, she wore a curled smile with a deep blush, her pupils dialted wide and pupils seemingly in the shape of hearts.
"H-hunter...daddy..." she meweled.
He grunted down a groan, feeling himself starting to become unraveled, "pussys still tight for me,fuck-"
His gripp tightned around her neck, causing her to choke slightly, as his thrust became sloppy, becoming increasingly rougher as her moans grew louder once more. Loosing rythem he pulled his hand away from her neck, his hands gripping her hips for leverage as he pulled them against his thrust, groaning loudly he still beat into her harshly, his cock pulsating in her. She begged for him to creampie her, her hands finding his hair as she tugged and pulled.
"Ah! Fuck! Yeah! Fuck!" He groaned, "Oh! OH!"
He shoved himself deep inside of her keeping her steady as her back arched, his own body arching into her's as he released a massive load of cum into her.
"Oh! Fuck yeah!" He groaned, completely loosing control, contuining his rough thrust.
"H-hunter! Hunter! Holy shit!" She cried out.
"Fuck Im cumming again!"
"H-hunter! Fuck!" A second smaller load was shot into her, filling her womb with his hot seed as he held her hips tight, rocking into her steadily as to make sure he stuffed her. He panted heavily, his ears seemingly ringing as he looked down at her.
Her mouth agape as she breathed heavily, her breast rising and falling with heavy pants.
"Good girl..." Hunter praised, slolwy pulling out of her, Y/n letting out the last of her soft moans.
He panted heavily, his hands spreading her legs as she ended up holding her legs open by her inner thighs, Hunter watches the thick cum leaked out of her, cum covering her pussy folds.
"Good girl." Hunter praised, a few of his fingers scooping up some of the cum as she opened her mouth, letting it sloppily leak from Hunter's hand to her mouth and face, "Now, turn over on all fours, Im not done with you yet."
142 notes · View notes
warmau · a year ago
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au ten another late birthday au (again) but hey ten time :3 find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo
not knowing what to say isn't a foreign feeling to you, yet when you come face to face with ten outside his apartment on this summer morning, you are almost too petrified to even string a sentence together
he's really just........leaving
ten shines a big smile and from the open door you hear kun's exasperated voice asking why in the world ten is packing up his entire existence for a program that's going to last two months
"you look nervous"
ten jokes first, running a hand through his dark hair which he's spent the colder months growing out
"im the one going to a different country and yet you look like you might turn green"
his laughter tickles you and you force yourself out of the weird, frozen feeling, for his sake
"im not nervous - it's just this is our first summer apart since what, highschool?"
ten leans against the frame of his door and lets kun scuttle past him with a scowl
yangyang and hendery bounce after him with ten's insane amount of luggage
"yeah but it's two months, not two decades. plus....you know how much ive always wanted to do this."
right. and here you are being selfish.
"of course, i mean it's literally the birthplace of ballet."
"technically that's italy, but france is a close second."
"i hate you"
ten pulls you into his arms before you register that this is your goodbye hug
"i'll miss you too."
kun drives everyone to the airport, he complains and cries the most.
sicheng gives you a knowing look when ten takes your wrist in his hand and tucks your arm between his.
you ignore the look, and focus on ten. on him. and then - when the switchboard pops up his flight info - he gives a bubbly and excited
"ive gotta go!"
and then summer starts, just as he's gone
"so when are you going to tell him you're in love with him."
sicheng brings the big gulp he stole from hendery up to his lips and you keep your eyes closed behind your sunglasses
"sorry, yukhei's not my type."
"you know im not talking about yukhei."
you dig your fingers into the sand beside your towel, the beach is already so noisy so you pretend you don't hear sicheng, but you still feel him looking.
you guess a part of it is true, you love ten. who doesn't?
is that the core of the issue then, that ten is so available and loveable and charming, that it makes him also unattainable?
or at least, unattainable to you.
you hear your phone buzz inside your bag and sicheng is being dragged into the water by the rowdy rest of your friend group
it could be a text from ten?
your mind excites, but you put out that fire
it's probably just spam.
ten does text and even video call the first two or so weeks while he's away
you get blurry photos of food at cafes and the eiffel tower, random fancy looking dogs being walked on the small, cramped streets
ten's connection is kind of bad - but he still gleams through the fuzzy facetime camera as he shows you around the room the dance academy has provided
pangs of his happiness and excitement seep into you
and then there's the first sign of worry comes knocking and twirling through his door
a group of other dancers, all beautiful and strong, asking ten - from the limited amount of french you catch - if he's done, they're waiting for him to go to a show with them
ten gives you a scattered, quick goodbye. he says he'll video call again.
all you get is an update text almost five days later that has no pictures attached just a;
im ok - by the way i totally miss eating hot chips with you at midnight. ive had like a banana smoothie and that's it.
sicheng and kun are the first to pick up on the shift, you are quietly withdrawing to yourself
nothing makes you laugh
ten doesn't reply to your question about what the paris metro looks like, actually he doesn't even read it
kun nearly tugs hendery's ear red when he shares a snap story of ten pressed cheek to cheek with his new dancer friends in front of the louvre when you're in the same room
the thing is you are not jealous of any of them.
you don't go around trying to find their facebooks, clicking on their instagram profiles, comparing you and them.
you are just sad to your bones that they will understand ten in such a way that no matter how long you two have been friends
you will never, truly know
"you're his best friend"
sicheng reasons on the phone as you stare up at the wall above your desk, littered in old pictures and clippings and your gaze catches on the ticket stub from ten's first-ever solo dance performance
it had been a talent show in highschool.
it had been the first time you saw ten perform outside the corner of his cramped bedroom or the glimpse you caught meeting up with him outside the dance academy
he's in paris, he's with people who love it so much more than i do - they love dancing like he loves dancing.
i cannot understand that.
"i think you were right sicheng."
"im always right."
i do love him. when am i going to tell him?
you hang up after sicheng has his i told you so moment and stare at your screen
a notification flashes across the screen and it's a text from ten
the trains here are blue. i miss you.
you want to reply right away, so you open the message and start typing
i miss you too. actually, i think i finally understand why people who are in love are so hurt when they're suddenly left without their other half and ten you are my o-
you delete the sentence and make a face
nice. i miss you too.
you don't send it - or at least you forget to because your fingers are shaking and you exit out of the messaging app before checking
abandoning your phone, you turn on your side and stretch your hand out to reach the edge of the bed
there's enough space between you and it for someone to fit, so you remember the countless times ten has laid there
smiling and laughing and tickling your face with his sleeping breath
you can't even recall a conversation because there have been hundreds
suddenly you feel a warmth creep up your skin
hundreds of opportunities to tell him - and each time i chose to be a coward.
"you should write him a letter."
"this isn't a movie, what - you think im going to write a letter and he'll jump on the first plane from france to come to my side?"
sicheng cocks an eyebrow as if to say it is a possibility
"no. im not writing a letter. i'll suck it up and confess when he comes back."
you somehow end up writing a letter.
maybe because you really do want to just send a long text spilling your mushy, soft, pink feelings
but you know that's just not what ten deserves
he deserves (and you do too, but you won't admit this) a face to face confession
so you start retelling the moments that flutter up in your heart whenever you think about him
how he makes the room brighter when he's in it, how he dances with every bone, joint, muscle in his body - how he approaches it with no inhibition and true devotion that paints its way across his face when he practices, how he fits perfectly into the hole that grows more massive every day you don't see him
standing there across the hall - coffee in hand, gym bag with his scuffed dance shoes
by the time you're finished - the letter is longer than you imagine. there are parts crossed and scribbled out, repetitive thoughts, and stupid little comments and metaphors that compare ten to flowers or clouds or anything else pretty in nature
you cringe at yourself, but you do feel better
it could be your outline for when the time to actually tell him comes.
you shove the papers into an envelope, write ten's name and the address of his parisian dance academy just for the irony
and then make the mistake of letting it sit on your desk
in a matter of days, it has been swallowed by a bunch of other papers and trinkets
and when you're rushing around your room trying to get ready for another adventure to the beach - sicheng clinks the lollipop against his teeth and fishes it out - curious at the stamp
"do you want me to mail this?"
he asks and you're trying to find those sunglasses you literally just bought and grumble that sure, whatever - you'll meet him out by kun's car.
halfway to the beach, you turn in horror from the passenger seat to look at sicheng in the back
your eyes like saucers and a tremor in a voice
"wait. what did you ask me back in my room?"
sicheng's big smile is red from the candy, "your letter to ten."
and there comes the second pang of dread and worry that takes the overwhelming shape of your summer
oh my god - oh my god - maybe the letter won't even make it. i mean it's a letter to france....it'll take at least a month to get there. wait - it probably didn't even have a stamp on it. oh god maybe the address was totally off and some poor stranger is about to be subjected to my very incoherent feelings.....
every day you look at your phone and there's no texts or emails or anything from ten
his social media has gone quiet too
you throw your dignity down a well and ask all your friends if they've heard from him and they all scratch their heads and say no, it's been maybe a week since they did
your stress then turns from your love letter to a possibility that ten is in trouble
he kind of thrives from attention so it is very weird that he's so off-grid
you decide finally, on the day that it's been exactly a month and one day since he was gone, to call
you hover over the facetime button - should i text him first?
with a yelp, you nearly drop and crack your screen when ten's name flashes across the screen
you settle your breathing and tell yourself he hasn't gotten the letter, there's no way - since when has snail mail been efficient?
you answer and are about to ask what's up when ten waves something into the camera
"i got your letter."
maybe you go into rigor. because ten's eyebrows knit and he asks if your connection is ok, you aren't saying anything
you don't know if it's just because you miss him so much that you're able to drag yourself back into consciousness or because you are curious, in the depths of your mind, what his reaction will be
"o-oh. right- i-"
ten frowns and you think it's coming. the rejection is coming.
"is that why you didn't answer my text? you sent the letter instead?"
"your text?"
"yeah, i said i missed you and you read it and never responded."
a peek of a smile stretches on his pretty, bare face
"i never thought you were so romantic to send a letter."
something burns on your skin but you just try to make sure your hand holding the phone doesn't shake
"im not - i just, it was dumb sicheng said i should write it because - i don't know. he's the romantic, blame him."
"you're the one that said i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter."
"oh god"
that smile turns into a grin
"and that my dancing manages to cast a spell on you."
you hide your expression by turning your face
"are you going to re-read the whole thing to me?"
"should i, you're so poetic."
"don't make fun of me."
your voice is serious this time, small and huddled, because you mean it
worse than being told he doesn't feel the same is to be ridiculed for holding him in your heart like this for so long
"im not making fun of you, the letter is beautiful."
you still can't look at him, it's so ten to be kind before he's cruel
"i could never write something like that - so i thought i would just call you and say it."
you don't need to love song yourself into telling me you just see me as a friend
"i love you."
your head whips back so fast your phone drops and you curse and ten can't help but laugh
"sorry, sorry -what did you say?"
he runs a hand through his dark hair, the lighting in his room is dim and illuminates him perfectly
a large white t-shirt engulfs his slender shoulders as he sits up against the wall
"i love you. i know it's corny to confess over facetime, but im guessing it's more forgivable than text?"
a bubble bursts in your stomach and it makes you feel lightheaded and inhumanely blissful all at once
"i love you too."
"more then friends right, because your letter had this part about kissing im very interested in."
you bite back your lip and nod, both embarrassed that he'd bring that part up too but also seeing ten - your close friend, your secret love - talk about kissing you
makes some of the neurons in your body go haywire
"good, i seriously was scared you might have been pranking me with thi-"
"i would never. im not hendery."
"oh how are they, ive been super busy with the practice for a review so i haven't talked to anyone."
another thing you love about him, he keeps everyone in. he leaves none of his friends behind. he pretends like he couldn't have a care in the world, but he cares more than anyone else.
"he's ok, he almost crashed kun's car yesterday."
ten shrugs, "expected."
and like that - everything is still somehow the same. there is no awkward phase after you've talked about your feelings for each other at all.
because your love doesn't come as a one hit punch because ten is beautiful, although he is to an unfair degree
it comes from the experience of being around him. having so much of him. maybe even getting a little addicted.
you do talk more on the phone, no more long pauses even though ten's practices get more grueling and you tell him to take his time to rest
but he's sweaty on the practice room floor - texting you - telling you everything is sore but the thought of seeing you soon makes it all better
it's three days before ten is scheduled to fly back that he has his review and you are biting your fingernails waiting for him to tell you about it
when you get a youtube link at like three in the morning - you click it and someone has recorded ten's performance
somehow, he looks more graceful than you've ever seen him
a new text comes in when it's almost done
'i think i did well - can i get a reward?'
'you'll get a really good one when you're home'
he sends a winking emoji and you can't fall asleep after because you wonder what he's expecting, you'd meant a kiss - had he meant more?
you wouldn't mind that at all.
xiaojun is being pulled away from the conveyer belt by kun and hendery is asking sicheng for a sip of his starbucks as you all wait for ten's plane to land in the airport lobby
you two have not told anyone - mostly because you know there will be endless questions you won't have answers too and sicheng might literally never let you live it down
so you wait for ten to be here so you can suffer together
you see the gates from his flight open and sicheng mutters that you look like you're going to pop like a goddamn balloon
for once in your life, you don't snide back at him, folding your hands in front of you and tippy-toeing to see over the crowd
and then, like seeing him for the first time all the years ago when you first met, ten comes out
hendery and xiaojun try to go for a running jump, but the older members hold them back because everyone can sense whats coming
you dash toward him and ten doesn't stay still either - you two collide so hard it almost hurts, but you don't care at all
ten's duffel bag falls over his shoulder and your hands are wrapped around his neck before he can even say your name
it's a first kiss that couldn't be more characteristically fit for you
sweet, big smiles tasted on lips, and interrupted by none other than your group of friends gasping in a symphony of shock
except for sicheng - he knew
ten tastes like you imagine he would taste, maybe because in smaller ways you've already had doses of the sunshine that radiates off him before
he keeps his hands wrapped around your waist as he looks down into your eyes
"mon amour"
"is that really all you learned in france?"
"ummm yeah, i don't know how to say let's get out of here and back to my place even though im pretty sure someone said that to me at some point."
you pout, "don't try to make me jealous."
ten chuckles as you press your face into his neck and hug him close
the only way you get pulled apart is because someone (kun) reminds you all you're still at the PUBLIC airport
the drive back is a frenzy and everyone wants to know everything and not about just you two - because you're "two" now - but about france and traveling and ten's dancing
like you'd sensed - nothing has really changed
just this time, your fingers are locked in tens. and the warmth you longed for in silence is suddenly all out in the open.
funnily enough, you and ten don't ever write letters to each other again.
ten just doesn't like writing - it takes too much sitting down
and you are horrified everytime he fishes your love confession out of the memory box and dangles it above your head as leverage
it's how he convinced you into adopting the first cat. now you two have three.
so when you and him are deciding the best way to let all your friends know about your upcoming event you cross out mailed invitations
"we can make an email list."
your legs are thrown over his thighs on the sofa and he's resting the laptop on you them
"let's just make an instagram post: wedding in our backyard on thursday - you're invited."
ten pinches his nose
"we are not having a backyard wedding. we could not fit everyone in my dance company into it anyway."
you play with your engagement band and sigh
"fine, fine. what about.....we just call everyone and tell them. if we call kun right now he'll let all of the world know by the end of the week."
ten agrees with a hum, but then starts typing and you lean over to see
"bulk wedding invites? you're giving in?"
he closes the laptop and tosses it to the side, easily and gently pushing you down onto your back to hover over you with a small content sound
"i am. but we don't even have to write the letters - some company will do it for us."
his lips are inches from yours and all of a sudden you're young again - waiting to kiss him for the first time at that airport
"you know we'll still have to write vows right."
he is about to kiss you, he's so close and your eyes are closing
"i'll just read your letter outl-"
he laughs, laughs until he finally does kiss you and then laughs again when he pulls back - the overflowing amount of love that exists in that moment is potent
you tell him to get over that old thing, but he shakes his head
"never, when again in all the lives i live is someone going to say i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter?"
345 notes · View notes
harrystylescherry · a year ago
In My Feelings Part Six
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a/n: holy fuck. part 6 is here. she’s done. she’s long. enjoy her and pls be nice to me. 
what it is: you and harry hate one another but that doesn’t stop you from fucking
warning: choking, cursing–i always feel like warnings can ruin the like, surprise or spoil the smut so im telling u now, if choking is too much for you, the other shit in this will not be for u either so read at ur own risk :)
word count: 28k --i am so sorry
pls pls pls reblog if you liked it!
i’d love to hear your feedback :)
here we go:
November 1, 2020
As you brushed your teeth, you tried your best not to get toothpaste on the little lamb’s face. You were leaning over your sink, almost bent at a ninety degree angle with the sleeves pushed all the way up to your elbows.
You had barely remembered putting on Harry’s sweatshirt to wear to bed the night before, but when you woke up that morning—fully sober—you couldn’t bring yourself to take it off. It was warm and still faintly smelled of him. You figured that your lapse in judgement the night before came from the fact that he rejected you, a fact that you tried extremely hard not to read into. Then again, how could you not? He had never rejected you before, not once. In fact, his need for you, his want for you, was the one constant thing about him. Desire was the one place you felt as though you had the upper hand and now…you had nothing.
It didn’t make sense at all. After all of it the night before: the talking, the flirting, him calling you baby, wanting to be friends, you admitting that you no longer hated him, him taking you home, he let you go upstairs alone. You couldn’t figure it out and each time you tried, you felt slightly worse about yourself.
You contemplated taking the sweatshirt off for the fifth time that morning as you dropped your toothbrush in its holder. You decided to keep it on, figuring that if you took it off, it would surely be lost in the pile of clothes covering your floor and then he would never get it back. You needed to keep it close so that you remembered to wash it later that day.  
After exiting your bathroom, you pulled the sleeves back down and then rolled them up so you had access to your hands before turning on your speaker where it sat on your nightstand. Before opening up your Spotify, you checked your messages with Harry again, even though you knew there would be no message. You hadn’t gotten a single notification since he sent the smiley face in response to you telling him you were safely in your apartment the night before. As you closed the messaging app, you sighed and then hit shuffle on the new LANY album.
You sat down at the tiny dining table that also functioned as your desk (which also served as a divider between your kitchen and the rest of the small studio) and opened your laptop. You knew you could’ve texted Abby about Harry agreeing to do the interview, or even called her, but considering how angry she seemed the last time you saw her, you decided it was best to give her the news in the most professional way possible. After putting in her email address and cc-ing the appropriate people, you wrote: Harry Styles has agreed to be interviewed by me. Some bits from the interview have been attached. His team will be in contact sometime this week. After attaching the word doc you had spent the morning preparing, you quickly hit send and sat back in the old chair.
It took Abby less than five minutes to respond in the form of a text. She wanted to know when to expect contact from Harry’s management and whether or not you spoke to him about a possible cover. The second text informed you that they wanted him featured in, or on the cover of, the January issue, meaning that everything would have to get done rather quickly. Apparently, they had already figured out who would be styling him and taking the photos—if he agreed to do it.
You deflated a little in your chair and rubbed at your eyes before picking up your phone to answer. You loved your job, you really did, but it was Sunday and you were tired of thinking about Harry. You needed a break.
He had been on your mind all day yesterday, and most of the day before that, and when you woke up that morning—you just needed a few hours, maybe even a day, where he didn’t exist to you. You wanted it to be like it was when you hated him because then you never had to think about him at all. There were no confusing and conflicting feelings, there was no curiosity about what he was doing, there was no checking your phone like a pathetic idiot who hoped she had missed a text. It was ridiculous behavior—especially since you barely liked him. Maybe this was the friend thing that Harry was talking about. Maybe you did want to be friends.
If that was the case, then what was stopping you from reaching out to him? Friends could text friends—in fact, Harry had explicitly told you last night that he wished you texted him. He wanted to talk more and so if you texted him, you really would only be doing it for his benefit. It had nothing to do with you. You needed to talk to him about the interview anyway. It was for him and for business.
Before you could stop yourself, you had tapped the ‘call’ button and brought the phone up to your ear. It was a mistake. Not only did you not know what to say, but you had never called him before and so you felt awkward about it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to hang up.
“(Y/N)?” He sounded both confused and surprised, despite the fact that he must have seen your name pop up on his phone.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Hi, love. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing?” Your brow furrowed. “Should something be wrong?”
“No, no. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you to call me—ever.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s a little weird.” There was a dull kind of panic stuck in your chest.
“S’not weird at all.”
Neither of you spoke for a moment. There was an obvious tension, an obvious awkwardness, and you knew it was on you to try and break it since you were the one who called.
You cleared your throat and leaned forward in order to rest both of your elbows on the table, your right hand still holding your phone to your ear while you played with your earring with your left, attempting to distract yourself from your nervousness. “So, the interview.”
“Mhmm.” It sounded as though he was moving stuff around. For a second you thought about apologizing for bothering him, but decided against it. He would’ve told you if it wasn’t a good time, right?
“So I told my boss that you agreed and I sent her some of what we had and she liked it.”
“That’s great.”
“Uh, yeah. She wanted me to double check when you were going to contact the magazine to get everything finalized or whatever because she wants the interview in the January issue…and maybe a cover.”
“The cover, yeah?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.
“Yeah—but I told her that we hadn’t really talked about that and, like, that would be something to work out between you and her or whatever.”
“I’d love to be on the cover.” You felt a small bit of relief wash over you. “But only if you’ve got a part in planning it and all that. We’ve already talked about this, remember?”
You nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “Yes, we did.”
“Sound a bit disappointed.”
“I’m just not sure if they’ll go for that. I’m not exactly a photographer, or a creative director, or a stylist, or—“
“But you’re my friend. And I trust you.” You didn’t say anything. “Oh, right, yeah, sorry. Forgot we weren’t friends—or at least I’m not yours.”
“No, no, that’s not it. I-I could see us being friends. I would like to be friends.”
“When do you want to continue the interview?”
You were beyond thankful that he was changing the subject. “Well, if you do end up doing the cover, the timeline will be pretty tight so, soon.”
“Yeah, okay, just let me know what day works for you and then—“
“Wednesday!” You closed your eyes and held in a frustrated sigh when you heard how eager you sounded.
“This Wednesday?”
“Uh, yeah, maybe after you’re out of rehearsals or something?” You pulled at a loose thread in Harry’s sweatshirt. “Maybe you could come over and I could, I don’t know, make dinner or something?”
“You’re going to make me dinner?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I’ll be getting home from work and you’ve got rehearsals so we’ll probably both be hungry. Anyway, I think it would be weird if you just came over for the interview. Like, awkward or something.”
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Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You were inviting him over to your apartment and offering to cook for him. He could hear how unsure you were, how nervous you seemed. He felt a lot more hopeful than he should’ve and fought the urge to think of it as a date. But it was, wasn’t it? You wanted to see him and you were making it happen under the guise of continuing the interview, but you could’ve easily agreed to let him know and ended the call. This was more than the interview—it was because you wanted to see him.
“Yeah, I’m free Wednesday night.” He actually wasn’t sure if he was, or how late rehearsals would go, but he wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. He had never seen your space before—his “living in a box” comment from weeks ago came from Sarah who described your place as extremely tiny. He wondered what it looked like, what your style was, and had a feeling that if he he didn’t agree to see you then, he wouldn’t get the opportunity again.
“Good, okay, yeah.”
Harry placed his empty mug in the kitchen sink before turning around and leaning against the counter. He smiled at how cute you sounded, slightly flustered and obviously nervous. “Anything else, love?”
“Uhm, no. I don’t think so. I’m not sure when you’re done with rehearsals so I guess just let me know whatever time works for you.”
“I will.” Harry pulled his bottom lip between his fingers, unsure whether or not to ask the question. He wanted to tease you, to say “it’s a date,” but he had a feeling that it wouldn’t go down well. He wanted to ask if this meant you had a crush on him, jokingly ask whether or not you ask all the guys you interview to have dinner with you, but he knew that any one of those options would absolutely ruin whatever was going on between the two of you.
“Does this mean I’ll be hearing from you more often?”
“This call.” Harry explained. “Does this mean we’ll be talking more often?”
“I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“It is, it is. Just wanted to make sure this wasn’t just a one time thing.”
“It’s not a one time thing, right? Like, this isn’t just about the interview?” He cringed right after he asked it. He sounded insecure, which he hated.
“No, it’s not. I mean, probably not—I mean—“ You sighed. “I do kind of like spending time with you and so I guess I kind of could maybe want to be friends.” Your words were rushed, but he caught every single one.
“Good.” Harry’s phone started buzzing in his hand, and when he pulled it away from his ear, he saw that he had an incoming call from Jeff. “I’ve, uh, got to go, but I’ll talk to you soon, yea? Before Wednesday.” He didn’t like the idea of hanging up, but Harry needed to take Jeff’s call since it was to discuss the exact thing you had called about.
“Okay. Text me whenever. Bye.”
Harry said goodbye before hanging up and answering Jeff. They spent the next forty-five minutes to an hour discussing what Harry’s terms would be—there was really only one and it was the condition of your involvement. When Jeff asked why it was so important to him that you be involved (besides the “obvious reasons”), he admitted, without even thinking, that it was because you knew him.
Harry knew that this mostly wasn’t true. It had only been the past two months that the two of you had even started talking. You had only hung out together on your own once or twice (if the morning after a hookup could even be considered hanging out). Neither of you really knew much about each other yet—he knew where you came from, but only to the extent that you grew up in New York. He knew close to nothing about your family—or what kind of music you listened to, what you did in your spare time (besides going out), who your other friends were, if you were a sweet or salty person, what kind of movies you were into, what kind of guys you were into—if it was just guys you were into. You knew just as little about him.
That being said, he had a feeling that you understood him in some weird way. You would know what he was comfortable with and what he wasn’t. Also, you never had a problem telling people what you really thought, whereas Harry never wanted to come off as controlling or ungrateful in situations such as photoshoots. If he told you he didn’t like something, he knew you would absolutely make it known. One of the things he did like about you was that you always seemed to be looking out for the people you cared about—and he was kind of looking forward to being in that position, even if it was only for a few hours.
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You spent the rest of the day going over that call in your mind. As you worked on the article and answered emails that couldn’t wait until tomorrow, your own words played back in your mind. Your invitation was too quick and too eager. Making him dinner? Telling him you wanted to be friends? Telling him you enjoyed spending time with him? What was wrong with you?
You couldn’t figure out why you were so eager, why you would even want him in your space, why you would want to make him dinner--but you did want those things. That was the scariest part. It took the entire day for you to convince yourself that it was because you did want to be friends and so you were simply being friendly. You had cooked for Sarah and Charlotte before—even Adam. The only difference was that Harry was the only one you had had sex with, which maybe changed things a little. No, you decided, it changed nothing. Harry could be a friend in the same way—and this was you trying.
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November 4, 2020
You spent the entire day nervous at your desk. It was ridiculous and frustrating because what you were nervous for should’ve been the last thing to make you feel that way. It was Harry—Harry—the person you hated, then heavily disliked, then kind of tolerated, and then—well, now—someone you actually kind of enjoyed being around.
It was going to be a professional night—at least that’s what you kept promising yourself. He would come over, you would make him dinner and ask him some questions, and then he would leave. That’s it. There would be no kissing, no touching, no giving into him—if he even tried anything. You still hadn’t forgotten the fact that he rejected you a few nights ago.
It was also something you had kept to yourself. You knew you could’ve talked to Charlotte about it, but you were kind of embarrassed. You also didn’t want to sound pathetic, which was how you felt, because it shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it did. So what if he didn’t want to go up with you? Maybe he was way too drunk, too tired, or had an early morning. It shouldn’t have mattered regardless because you weren’t supposed to care. Whatever was happening with Harry was happening casually, randomly, without any kind of feeling involved. That’s how it started and that’s how it would continue.
But why did you need so much convincing? Why did you spend the entire day distracted by the idea of him in your apartment, in your kitchen, in your bed (again, this was not going to happen, but it was an intruding thought)?
Harry was the reason you had fallen behind schedule that day and why, at 5:30, you were just starting to get ready to go home. Usually, you were out of the office by five the latest, and that day, you had even planned on finishing a bit early so that you would have ample time to go to the store and change before Harry arrived at yours around 7:30. You were sure that you could still get it all done (especially the quick tidy you planned on doing) as long as you left right then and took a cab to the store because the tube during rush hour was impossible.
As you were pushing your desk chair in, you heard Abby’s voice call your name from behind you. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before turning around.
“Can you come here for a second?” She had turned around and walked back into her office before you could say anything. You put on your coat and took your bag with you, hoping it would signal that you were attempting to go home, fully knowing that it wouldn’t make a difference.
When you entered her office, your eyebrows raised in surprise when you saw that she wasn’t alone. Occupying the two chairs in front of her desk were Tyler and Camilla, a photographer and stylist for the magazine. Suddenly it dawned on you. This was meant to be Harry’s team for the shoot.
In a meeting with Abby the day before, she explained the terms of Harry’s agreement (which you already knew) and told you to expect another meeting with the people she had in mind for the shoot—apparently this was the meeting.
“Hey, (Y/N).” Tyler greeted before getting up to drag the extra chair that sat in the corner of the office in between him and Camilla. You greeted both of them before taking a seat.
“So what do you think?” Abby asked as she clasped her hands together in her lap.
“What do I think? Of what?”
“Tyler shooting and Camilla styling. For Harry’s cover.”
“Oh.” You looked between the both of them. It felt incredibly awkward and intimidating to be in that position. You were just a writer. Tyler had done some amazing shoots and Camilla never missed when it came to her styling. They both had impeccable taste. You weren’t supposed to be giving them your approval. It felt wrong. “I think they’re great.”
“You didn’t even look at their ideas.” Abby said incredulously.
You fought the urge to bite back. Ever since the whole Harry thing, she hadn’t been as nice as she once was to you—and part of you understood it. At the moment, you had too much power for your rank and keeping her bosses happy meant allowing you the power you didn’t even ask for. Abby definitely wasn’t threatened by you, but she didn’t exactly seem to like the position you were in. You probably wouldn’t either if you were her.
Tyler pulled a mood board from next to him and leaned it against the desk. He talked about Sussex, trampolines, a fake sky against the real one; there were fabric samples and color schemes pinned down next to inspo photos. Then, Camilla pulled out a small binder and showed you some of her styling ideas. The dresses and skirts were what caught your eye.
“I think he would love that.” You said as you pointed to a long kilt.
“I was thinking of maybe asking Harris Reed to participate? Harry Lambert as well, obviously. I know he’s a Gucci rep too, so I think we should include something from them.”
You nodded and smiled at her.
“Satisfied?” Abby asked.
“Do you think Harry would like it?” Tyler asked as he moved the mood board back to the floor.
“Yeah, I do. I think he would like it a lot, actually.”
“Well, you know him best.” Abby leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest, a too nice smile adorning her face.
You sent her a sheepish smile and then glanced quickly at the clock on her wall. It was already six.
“Is there anything else?” You tried not to sound impatient.
“I’ve already talked to Harry’s people. There’s going to be a fitting next week. You need to be there.”
Your brow furrowed. “I do?”
“You do. Apparently, you being involved means involved.” You didn’t particularly like the way she looked at you when she said it.
Your cheeks heated when you felt both Camilla and Tyler’s eyes on you. You could only imagine what they were probably thinking and in that moment, you wanted to suffocate Harry. The idea of being involved seemed fine in theory, but it was turning out that it was going to suck. Apparently sexism was alive and well—you were sure that’s what it was, that they were thinking exactly what you thought they were. It was the easy answer. You were sleeping with him and that’s why he wanted you to be involved, it was why you got the interview, why you would be getting one of the biggest bylines of the year.
Sure, it was true that you were sleeping with him, but it wasn’t why you got the interview. You got the interview because you were the only one Harry trusted to do it—a direct result of the magazine messing things up with him twice before. Turns out, during one meeting they tried leaning into the “ladies man/sex god” angle, which was a huge mistake. Apparently whoever the writer was meant to be hadn’t done a single bit of research on the media coverage Harry had gotten over the years. As a One Direction fan (a secret you would take to your grave), you knew all about the womanizer bullshit.
The second meeting had apparently gone fine in terms of visuals for the photoshoot, but the stylist was intent on dressing him only in suits—extremely masculine and boring suits. Again, apparently no one had done their research. They even attempted to use the same writer.
Harry wanted you involved because apparently whoever had been making those choices at the magazine couldn’t do their job right. Sleeping with him was its own thing, completely separate from all of this. It was something you did when you were drunk, and once sober. It wasn’t anything, but you had a feeling that they all thought it was. It made your stomach turn.
“I can be there.” You tried to smile again.
“I know you will.” Abby stared at your for a moment before sighing and standing up from her chair. “Well, that’s all. I’ll send an email out once we’ve got an exact date and time for next week. You’re all dismissed.”
You stood up quickly and clumsily dragged the chair back into its corner as Tyler and Camilla got their stuff together. You walked out after Tyler and exchanged goodbyes with them before you power walked out of the office. For a second you thought about taking the stairs, but you were in heels and the idea of falling down several flights didn’t really entice you. So you tapped your foot in impatience as you took the elevator down what felt like a million floors and huffed in annoyance when it took just a little bit too long for you to hail a black cab.
Once you were tucked inside, you sent Harry a quick text telling him that you were running late. You asked if he would be okay to come over at eight instead and felt yourself relax when a small thumbs up appeared above the message.
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Harry didn’t know what to wear. He was being stupid and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself from staring into his closet blankly for over twenty minutes. He wasn’t sure what the vibe was. It wasn’t a date—or maybe it was but he knew you would never call it that—but it wasn’t something entirely professional either, as much as you probably wanted to pretend it was.
In his mind, it was something akin to date. He planned on kissing you and flirting with you and trying to make you like him back. He didn’t like that his feelings were one sided. His teenage boy crush was in fact not a crush and he was pretty sure that if he really got to know you, it would be over for him. Which he had decided was fine.
He spent at least two hours the night before staring at his ceiling thinking about you and the way that he felt about you. He had known that he was pretty fucked for a while, but the way he had been thinking about tonight had more than convinced him that he was a goner. He had been for a while, but his constructed version of you got in the way of him seeing it.
He was meant to be at yours in a little over thirty minutes, which was exactly how long it would take him to get there. He sighed in annoyance before settling on one of his usual t-shirts, a pair of slightly distressed jeans, and one of his favorite cozy sweaters.
He spent the drove over debating whether or not he should pick up some flowers. He hadn’t thought about bringing anything beforehand, but the second he settled himself into the driver’s seat, it was all he could think about. It wasn’t a date, but it felt wrong to show up empty handed. If he brought a bottle of wine, it would be less romantic than flowers, but he wasn’t sure what kind of wine you preferred. He didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked either, but surely it was the safer option.
When he was only a few streets away from your place, he decided to stop at a small shop. He slid on a pair of sunglasses despite how dark it was outside and pulled his hood up. Thankfully, the shop was pretty much empty except for two people and the workers. He lingered in front of the wine section for far too long, picking up reds, then whites, reading the labels and trying to figure out what you would probably like. He finally settled on pinot noir, deciding that it was a pretty safe choice.
There was a small section of flowers towards the front of the shop where the self checkout machines were. He couldn’t get roses. They were too much, too romantic and would surely give away the fact that he saw this as a kind of unspoken date. The sunflowers didn’t seem to be very you, as much as he loved them and lilies reminded him too much of funerals. The mixed bouquets were extremely bright and ugly looking. So he settled on the pink peonies. They were pretty, not too much, and if he remembered correctly, were part of the small bouquet tattoo that was on your ribcage.
When his finger landed on the button next to your name, he was officially fifteen minutes late. Harry hoped you didn’t mind, especially since you had been running late first but still felt slightly bad about it. He had the flowers tucked into the crook of his left elbow and the bottle in his left hand while his right fiddled with his rings nervously.
He hated that he was nervous. It felt both lame and overdramatic. The two of you had hungout before, had sex, and hurled awful insults at one another with what felt like extreme comfort. Why should this be any different?
He knew exactly why. This was a date—he knew that you knew it was too. This wasn’t getting coffee, or being out with friends, or kissing because you were drunk. It was spending time together sober, in an intimate way. You had to know it was a date.
When his buzz got no response, he hit the button again and held it for a little longer.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Sorry, sorry. I had…stuff all over my hands. Come up.” You sounded distracted even through the fuzzy intercom.
When Harry heard the door unlock, he pulled it open and walked quickly to the elevator. He knew he was eager, but he didn’t really care much. He was excited to see what your place looked like, what you looked like in it. That was always interesting to him: the way people behaved in their own spaces versus the way the behaved in other, more social spaces. He had a feeling you would probably be the same. You’d be confident and witty and stoic, but he hoped you would be a little softer, a little warmer, the way you sometimes were with him.
Whatever music you were listening to seeped under the door where Harry stood. It was muffled but he swore he could hear you singing along. He knocked three times quietly, but immediately realized that the chances of you hearing that were slim to none. He knocked again, a bit harsher, and a few moments later, he heard it unlock before it swung open.
“Hi.” Your eyes were bright but you seemed flustered.
“Hi.” You both stood there staring at one another for a beat too long. “Uh, these are for you.” He held out the flowers and you took them a little hesitantly, with a small smile on your face. “And this—I wasn’t sure what you liked, though so—“
“Oh! I love this one.” You interrupted as you read the label and Harry smiled back at you in relief. “Thanks. The flowers are really pretty.”
There was a heavy tension between you. Lately, it seemed as though there always was and he wanted it to go away but he wasn’t sure how to make that happen.
You two were staring at one another again. He wasn’t sure what the protocol was. Was he meant to hug you hello? Kiss you? Maybe on the cheek? He had no idea where to go from there and apparently neither did you.
You cleared your throat softly before stepping out of the doorway. “Uh, come in.”
He stepped over the threshold and watched as you closed the door behind him. “I seem to be a bit underdressed.” He joked as he checked you out.
It wasn’t actually a joke. While he was comfortable and casual, you looked about ready to go out. You were wearing a long sleeve black wrap dress that seemed to be made from suit material. It was short and ended a few inches below your butt. It was extremely low cut, a problem you had solved by wearing a silky, cream colored button up underneath. The first few buttons were undone, revealing your usual gold necklaces and he collar of the shirt laid casually over the dress; the blouse’s sleeves also peeked out a bit from under the dress’s. Harry’s favorite part of the outfit though, was the cream colored Gucci tights. They were sheer with an extremely minuscule fishnet pattern, with the Gucci logo patterned throughout. You looked amazing—and he felt frumpy.
“You’re not, really. I wish I was in jeans and a sweater right now.” He followed you towards the tiny kitchen space. “I wanted to change after work but I was so behind and it was either change or clean up my apartment and I figured cleaning was the right choice.”
He stood at the small island and watched you open a cabinet and pull out a pink, glass vase.
So, you did live in a box. There was very little kitchen space; the stove and sink were only a few inches apart and directly next to the sink was the fridge. The only counter space you really had was the small island that was a little less than half the size of his. The only other bit of counter space you had was to the left of the stove, but it was covered in cookbooks. The kitchen floor was tiled in black and white and you had painted the cabinets and base of the island sage green. He wondered if you were allowed to do that, but quickly realized that you probably didn’t give a shit.
On top of the cabinets, which he knew you could absolutely not reach, was different colored bended candles which had never been lit as well as two planters, one yellow and one a rust color, adorned with small smiles that had no plants in them. What looked like one of your brother’s class schedule was stuck to your fridge, along with a few family pictures (it still shocked him that you had three brothers, he wasn’t sure why), an old photo of a man that had been torn in half, and a handwritten recipe for lemon bars. Harry thought it was charming and so badly wanted to turn around and scope out the rest of the place, but didn’t want to be so obvious.
You placed two glasses on the island between the two of you before grabbing the wine.
Harry held his hand out. “‘Ve got it, love.” He opened the wine and began filling the goblets you were using as wine glasses. They were the same height and same shape, but the designs on them were different. “These are cool.”
“I got them on Brick Lane. You know the vintage market before the one that’s underground?” Harry nodded even though he was only vaguely sure of what you were talking about. “There’s an older guy there who sells old glassware so cheap. I got most of my stuff from there.”
“You really love it over there, don’t you?” He asked before bringing the glass to his lips.
“I do. I’m honestly there most Sundays.”
“Really? I might have to join you next time.” It was a test.
“I’d like that.” You tried to mask your smile by taking a drink from your glass. Suddenly, the sizzling noise coming from the stove became much louder and your eyes widened slightly. “Fuck!” You placed your glass on the counter and turned back to the stove quickly.
Harry walked around the island and joined you where you stood stirring. He stood close enough that every time you moved, your back brushed against his chest, but he kept himself from dropping an arm around your waist or running his hand along your back. “Smells good.”
“Let’s hope I don’t burn it.” You were sautéing mushrooms, garlic, and peas in a pan, while a small pot of broth sat heating up next to it.
“Do you cook often?” He asked as you removed the vegetables from the pan and put them in a small bowl, added more oil to the pan and then dropped in shallots with ease.
He felt your shoulder shrug against his chest. “I did for a while before I moved in with my grandparents but then my grandma did all the cooking.”
There were at least a thousand questions on the tip of Harry’s tongue. He was so curious about your family and had a feeling it would help him understand you in a way he couldn’t as of then. He was afraid of asking those questions though, especially since the night had barely started. He was afraid of upsetting you or putting you in a bad mood. He wanted tonight to go well because he needed it to.
“Do you need help with anything?” He asked dumbly as you poured rice into the pan.
“You can get me the wine if you want?” You said as you looked up at him over your shoulder.
“Our wine?”
“No, the small bottle of white. It should be on the island somewhere.” You waved the hand that wasn’t stirring the rice behind you.
Before walking away, Harry placed his left hand on the small of your back and dropped a quick kiss to your head. You didn’t react at all, which he took as a good sign. He knew things had been going well between the two of you and that he could be more affectionate with you if he dared, but the affection usually came after or before sex. It never usually happened in a normal moment—as normal a moment as the two of you could have, anyway. Even at the Halloween party, sure there was affection, but the two of you were drunk. And then he rejected you. He was still waiting for you to bring that up.
He quickly located the tiny glass bottle and brought it over to you along with your glass of wine. Harry stood next to you, leaning his left hip on the counter and waited patiently for you to pour the wine into the rice. After he handed you your glass and received a soft “thank you,” he continued to hover.
Harry was wondering if you’d let him kiss you. He didn’t really know how to go about asking. He was afraid it was too weird, too random, too couple-y, which you two were not—like, at all.
He wanted to kiss you. The need was growing as he watched you stir the rice carefully, a soft echo forming in the small space as you sang along to the song playing in your work clothes and slightly smudged eyeliner. He wanted to reach out and pull you into him—but he had no idea how. He didn’t know how to do anything with you, how to be anything with you. It all seemed too scary and complicated. You were intimidating and you always had been, but now that he had feelings for you, it was amplified.
“You look really pretty.”
“Hm?” You glanced up at him.
He cursed internally. The music in the kitchen was too loud and you weren’t paying attention and he said it too low. Why was this so hard? He had never had this problem when he was drunk—or at all. Compliments were always easy for him. He loved handing them out, especially when they were genuine. Again, the complication was rearing its head, his insecurities were out, and he was so unsure of how all of this could go.
“You look really pretty.”
You tried to fight back a smile. “Thank you.”
Harry reached his right hand out and tugged lightly on the tie of your dress which was wrapped around your waist. “I like this.” He could see that you were trying not to look fazed. He dropped his hand and then brushed the backs of his fingers on the side of your thigh. He was trying to warm you up, he was trying to make you want to kiss him too. He thought it was working.
You attempted to hide a shiver and knew he had you.
“I know what you’re doing.” You kept your gaze focused on ladaling broth into the rice, but a playful smile broke through. “And your lack of professionalism astounds me.”
Harry smiled and took a step closer, removing almost all of the space between the two of you. He looped his arms around your waist and rested his interlocked fingers on your right hip. “If you kiss me, I’ll go away.”
You let out a small laugh through your nose. “Promise?”
“Kiss me and I’ll pretend not to be hurt by that.” Harry grinned as he watched you roll your eyes dramatically.
“You’re such a child.” You complained as you turned your head towards him and leaned in.
He knew you would try to make it quick, attempt to appease him with a barely there kiss—and you did, already pulling away the second your lips touched his. His right hand left your hip quickly and landed on the back of your neck. Harry pulled your back towards him and stole another kiss, a deeper one, only pulling away because the sizzling had gotten louder again.
“Satisfied?” You asked, a small glow in your eyes.
Harry attempted to shrug nonchalantly. “For now.”
You shook your head and moved your attention back to the rice. “This was supposed to be about the interview.”
Harry wandered back to the island where he left his glass. “We both know that’s not true.”
“Have you spoken to Sarah at all?”
He knew you were going to change the subject. Certain behaviors of yours were predictable at this point: you would always run or change the subject instead of actually dealing with anything complicated, instead of ever admitting that you maybe liked being with him.
“Have you?” He knew you hadn’t, but he also knew how much all of it was probably bothering you and that you wouldn’t have spoken to Charlotte about it for a lot of reasons. He was giving you the chance to talk about it if you wanted to.
He watched your shoulders deflate as he refilled his glass. “No. I mean, I’ve texted her but she hasn’t answered me at all. Charlotte said the same thing.”
Harry walked over with both his glass and the bottled and topped yours up as well. “We haven’t really spoken either. Obviously, we talk at rehearsals, but barely. She only speaks to me and Charlotte when she has to. I think everyone else knows something’s wrong, but no one says anything.”
You sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For Sarah. I should’ve told her.”
Harry moved back behind you and squeezed your shoulders before letting his hands run lightly down your arms. “Oh, stop. It was none of her business. She’s the one with a problem, no one else. She’s got to get over it.”
“Have you said anything to Mitch?”
Harry sucked in a sharp breath and dropped his hands from your arms. “I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.”
“Oh, god. What did you do?”
“I haven’t done anything yet!” Harry laughed. “I want to tell him, I think. Everything is just weird and complicated now. It would be so much less weird if everyone knew.”
“I agree.”
“You do?” Harry took a sip of his wine.
“Yeah. Charlotte and Sarah know. It’s not like everyone else isn’t going to find out and, I don’t know, maybe Mitch could talk to Sarah.”
“She’s stubborn.”
“She’s also wrong.” You answered quickly and then took a deep breath. Harry knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of your anger and he hoped Sarah would get over herself before she was forced to learn what it was like.
“Do you need any help?” Harry asked again, not wanting to dwell on the Sarah situation anymore and also feeling completely useless. He had spent the past twenty to thirty minutes wandering aimlessly around your kitchen while you did everything.
“Uh, yeah, actually. Can you finish stirring the last of the broth in so I can get the salad ready?”
Harry nodded and accepted the wooden spoon from you. He listened intently to your directions involving the cheese and vegetables that needed to added back in before taking your place.
“Do you think I could ask you some questions while you do that or would that be too much for your brain?”
He rolled his eyes at your shitty joke. “Like, for the interview?” He received a sound of confirmation. “Go on.”
Harry heard you place your phone on the counter behind him and turned so he could look at you and the phone could pick up his words better.
“This era we’ve really seen you branch out into more traditionally feminine styles when it comes to what you wear in videos, during performances, on red carpets and all of that. Was that something you were scared to do or was it comfortable? How much has the way you think about the idea of masculinity changed since you’ve started getting into womenswear?”
Harry continued to be shocked by you and your questions. You weren’t reading off your phone or a piece of paper. You were in the middle of dropping greens into a medium sized, blue striped bowl. He knew you were smarter than him (you had made that more than abundantly clear) but it was moments like this where the fact really smacked him in the face.
Harry dumped the small bowl of cheese onto the rice as he tried to explain how his thinking had changed in the past two years. He had dabbled in the idea of womenswear during his first era, and even before that, but since then he had really jumped into the pool—which obviously accompanied a transformation in thinking.
He talked about Lambert and Harris Reed and how he didn’t find the separation of gender in fashion satisfying, how it only served to box everything in and how if you remove the binary from fashion, it becomes a whole lot more fun and creative.
“Is it true that you meditate twice a day?” It was a follow up he wasn’t expecting.
He chuckled. “Yeah, it is.” Harry dropped the vegetables into the pan before turning to look at you again. You looked confused. “What?”
“Twice a day is a lot.”
“It’s good for you, for me. It makes me feel better.”
“I could never.” You shook your head.
“Have you tried?”
“Yes, actually. In college I saw this therapist for a bit who tried to get me to meditate, but I couldn’t. Apparently it was because I couldn’t cooperate or take it seriously. I think it’s because my brain is just incapable of shutting down that way. I feel like it’s always in fight or flight mode. It doesn’t have time for breaks, you know?”
Harry’s brow furrowed. You were talking without even thinking about it. Your focus was on cutting up small cherry tomatoes and slices of cucumber. He knew that if you had remembered that your phone was recording, you would’ve never said what you did. You were opening up and he didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t used to you talking to him like this and he had so many questions.
“I think so.” There was a beat of silence. “You were in therapy?”
You brushed off the question with a wave of your hand. “Wasn’t everybody at some point?”
“I guess, but—“
“Okay, everything’s ready now.” You were telling him to drop it.
You brought a large, glass, green bowl over to the stove and signaled for Harry to empty the pan of risotto into it. “Do you mind putting this on the table over there?”
Harry did as you asked as you grabbed the salad and successfully attempted to hold both glasses of wine in your hand.
The table was already set and Harry smiled when he saw the plates; they were white, with a bumble bee trim. The water glasses had tiny flowers on them and all of it seemed so sweet, set up on the small, square, dark wood table. The nicks in it were clear, as well as a stain from what seemed to be nail polish, but it made it all the more charming.
“Sarah got them for me last year. For my birthday.” You said while you put the bowl you were holding on the table when you noticed Harry examining the plates.
He thanked you when you placed his glass in front of him.
You both settled across from one another and dropped your napkins on your laps. Once you both had a good portion of risotto on your plates, you set your phone on the edge of the table between the two of you.
“Should we keep going?”
Harry spent dinner stealing glances around your apartment as he answered your questions and the two of you fell into tangent-like conversations.
A few feet away from the kitchen was the living room section of your apartment. On the back wall was your small, blue couch that had a chunky knitted blanket thrown lazily over its arm. It sat on a colorful, over dyed rug that looked old and worn. Your small, dark wood coffee table was covered in fashion magazines as well as a tabbed copy of what looked like Writer’s Digest. Between the couch and a door, which he assumed lead to the bathroom, was a full length gold mirror.
On the opposite was was a tiny fireplace that he was sure didn’t function at all since you had shoved a bunch of candles inside—which also seemed to have never been lit. Above the fireplace was a tv attached to the wall and an art print of a half naked woman, but it was very tasteful in Harry’s opinion. To the left, between the fireplace and the door of your place, was a tall bookshelf. It was overflowing with books, none of them seemingly arranged in any kind of order. There was even a small stack on the floor in front of it.
Straight ahead, parallel to the table the two of you were sitting at was your bed. It sat right under one of the only windows and was unmade, a cream colored comforter piled on top of the mattress. Its colorful, decorative pillows were on the floor and the green sheets seemed twisted in a ball. To the right of the bed, against the wall was a large, dark wardrobe that was left open. To the left of the bed was a clothing rack adorned with jackets and overshirts. Art hung all around the window and a hamper peeked out from its corner behind the wardrobe.
Harry concluded that it was very you. It was pretty and seemed extremely curated, but slightly messy and mismatched--all together charming. It was also cozy, which was what he had been hoping for most; it was proof that there was another side to you he hadn’t been totally privy to yet.
He was really enjoying this time with you. It didn’t feel as if he was being interviewed, but like he was simply talking to a friend, or on a date with someone who was genuinely curious about the kind of person he was. Your questions were insightful and, in a way, allowed him to completely control the conversation and the angle the conversations took. You never once tried to steer it away from what he was focusing on or ask any questions that lead a particular way.
You also added to his answers, helping him explain things he fumbled over or didn’t quite have the words or knowledge to explain exactly, mostly when it came to the whole concept of gender politics and talking about the books he enjoyed reading. He saw that you were enjoying being able to flex the gender studies knowledge you had obtained in college and so he allowed you to even explain things he already knew, simply because he loved the way you looked when you talked about something you cared about.
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“I can clean up.” Harry said as you stood up from the table, your hands poised to pick up your plate and the salad bowl.
“No, it’s fine. I can do it.”
“No, love. You did all the work. ‘Ve got it.”
“Okay.” You sat back down, but only for a moment. It felt weird to sit and do nothing while he cleaned up after you. You also just weren’t very used to having someone do those things for you. You had lived mostly on your own since you were eighteen and before that, you helped a lot around your grandparents house, a result of the habit formed after your mom left and you had to step up when it came to your brothers.
“I’ll just help.” You said as you stood up again. Harry only laughed and shook his head, knowing it would be useless to argue.
“Have we finished the interview?” He asked as he scraped what was left on your plates into the garbage.
“I think so.” You thought for a moment before putting the bowls into your sink. “Maybe not. I don’t know. I haven’t exactly figured out how I’m going to write it yet. I might end up with a few more questions or need clarification or something.”
“Well, if you do, I’d love to do this again.” He smiled warmly at you and you tried to ignore the warmth you felt in your chest.
It had gone really well, better than you expected. You had managed to keep it professional despite the small kiss and his flirty touches. It hadn’t gone off the rails, but you were glad that you were the only person who would hear the recordings. You were sure that the two of you had flirted at some point, maybe throughout the whole thing--your cheeks were sore from smiling.
You liked having Harry like this: alone, intimately, sweet. You loved hearing him talk about all that he was interested in, found yourself completely drawn in as he explained his views on masculinity, and had to hold back with questions when he talked about the album you loved. By the end of the meal, you were more than sure you wanted to be friends—and there was a nagging feeling a crush had completely blossomed and had become so intense you felt as if you would burst.
You didn’t exactly hate the feeling. You weren’t exactly surprised by it either. Harry was attractive and he turned you on and made you feel better than any other man had before. He was also interesting, and multi dimensional and had more substance than any other man you had been with. That last part was probably because you rarely dated men who were smarter than you—and Harry wasn’t exactly smarter than you, but he was intelligent in areas you weren’t, like music and lyricism and stuff that you enjoyed but didn’t have the ability to completely access.
You had grown to appreciate him a lot, and by the end of the meal, wished you hadn’t hated him for so long. You had a feeling that the friendship the two of you could’ve had would’ve been extremely fulfilling. You hoped too much damage hadn’t been done, that your past actions towards one another hadn’t made it completely impossible for there to be a friendship at all. Not that you were sure there could even be one now since the two of you had been fucking, not regularly, but still fucking.
“I wouldn’t mind that.” You smiled back before turning on the sink and beginning to run the warm water over the bowls and pans.
When Harry walked over to place the dishes in the sink, he bumped his hip with yours. “You dry.”
Instead of arguing,  you simply moved over and pulled a dish towel from the drawer next to the sink, more than willing to not wash your dishes for once. 
“Do you actually think we could do this again?” Harry asked as he pumped soap onto your blue sponge. “Like, without the interview part.”
“You mean…just have dinner together?” He nodded. “Wouldn’t that be a date?” You teased.
“Wasn’t this?” His response was quick.
“What?” You were trying to buy yourself some time, trying to figure out what to say. “This was…for the interview.” You were flailing, at a loss for words—because it was, wasn’t it? You had asked him on a date. You made him dinner and let him flirt with you and kiss you and you flirted and kissed him back. You had invited him here to continue the interview, but you had the intentions of something else, seemingly without even realizing it. You had wanted to see him, and be with him and had tricked yourself into thinking it was for professional reasons, had tried to convince yourself it could only be for professional reasons. It wasn’t.
Before you could try to say more, Harry changed the subject. “Who is this?” He asked as he pointed a soapy finger in the air, gesturing towards the music that was playing.
“Gus Dapperton.” You supplied, still a little distracted by your realization.
“You must really like him.”
“Huh?” You took a plate from Harry and began to dry it, still only half tuned into the conversation.
“The album’s played, like, three times.” He smiled over at you.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t even notice. I can change it.” You put the plate down and went to grab your phone from the table as Harry tried to argue from his spot at the sink.
“No, he’s good. I was just teasing you.”
You suddenly felt extremely insecure about everything, the entire night. “No, it’s okay. I’ll change it.” You went to your liked songs and clicked on the first one: 45 by Bleachers.
“I love this song.” Harry said as it started to play.
By time you had returned to your spot at the sink, he was singing along under his breath and as much as you wanted to join in, decided to stay quiet because you loved the sound of his voice.
The two of you continued like that for a bit. Harry singing along to two or three songs under his breath as you dried whatever he handed you. The sound of his voice was comforting as you had a fight with yourself in your head. You weren’t even completely sure which songs had played as you tried to make sense of what was going on and what you were doing.
Harry had been all you thought about for days and you had looked forward to tonight all day—and you were nervous, something that you didn’t typically feel when it came to interviews or doing research for articles. You had asked him on a date and you didn’t even know it, or maybe you had simply chosen to ignore it. He was right—a rare occurrence, which meant that you had been absolutely clueless.
What were you supposed to do now? Did you like him like that? Maybe—but there definitely wasn’t any feelings. Maybe you liked him like you liked Nate in high school; the senior on the football team who you would’ve given anything to kiss. There were no real feelings then; just a confusing amount of lust (as much lust as a sixteen year old girl can have). Maybe it was an infatuation. Maybe you simply liked the idea of him. Maybe you didn’t want him to go home just yet.
“Hm?” He was focused on cleaning the last pan, still mumbling the words to whatever was playing.
You let out a nervous sigh and wrung the dishtowel in your hands. “Do you—do you have plans after this?”
His eyes flickered over to you briefly. “No, I was just gonna go home and work on some stuff.”
“Oh, then never mind. You have stuff to do.” You shook your head.
“Did you want to do something?” You couldn’t define the look on his face.
“Well, yeah, kind of. Maybe I could make dessert to we could watch a movie or something?” You looked up at him tentatively and saw a look that wasn’t exactly encouraging. His brow was furrowed and he had pulled his upper lip between his teeth. You shook your head dismissively. “Sorry, that was a stupid idea. Forget it.”
He shut the water off. “No, no, (Y/N).” Harry said as he pulled the dishtowel from you and dried his hands. “I’d love to do something with you.”
He reached up and tugged lightly at your hair with a smile. “Yeah.”
He dropped his hand to your lower back and you tried not to lean into his touch. You were still confused on where you stood with all of this and how you felt. You thought that if he stayed and you stopped hanging on to the pacifier of professionalism, you could maybe figure it out.
“Great. Brownies?” You didn’t wait for a response as you started to walk away, but before you got very far, Harry had hooked his arm around your waist and pulled you into him.
He placed a kiss on your cheek before letting you go. “Brownies sound great.”
You left Harry to finish drying the pan and pulled a box of your favorite brownie mix from the cabinet you kept your baking supplies in. As you preheated the oven and pulled out a bowl and a spatula, Harry joined you at the island but on the other side so he was across from you.
He began opening another bottle of wine. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask, but I make no promise to answer.” You collected an egg from the fridge and vegetable oil from one of the cabinets.
“What happened to your parents?”
You froze. “Just jumping right in, I see.” You fiddled with the box and tried not to look at him.
“Sorry, I just—I didn’t really know how to ask.”
“Clearly.” You muttered.
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have—“
“No, it’s fine.” You cut him off. “We’re supposed to be getting to know one another again, right?”
Harry nodded before sliding your glass across the island. You took a big sip and then let out a deep sigh before dumping the packet of mix into the bowl. “My mom left when I was twelve; my youngest brother was three. And before you ask, no one knows why. I guess my dad did, but he always pretended he didn’t. She left most of her stuff, which always seemed odd to me but we kept it. The Manolos were my moms—I guess they still kind of are. She’s probably still alive.”
“The blue ones you wore?”
“Yup. Those are the ones.” You measured out the correct amount of oil and then water before adding them to the mixture along with the egg. “After that, the four of us moved into a small condo because my dad couldn’t afford the house without my mom’s income.” You cleared your throat. “It happened really fast. He got sick and then he was gone. I was sixteen and my brothers were still pretty young.” You hadn’t looked at him once, intent on mixing the ingredients together. You tried to sound nonchalant, but you didn’t talk about it often and could hear the emotion start to seep its way into your voice. “We moved in with my grandparents and I got a job to help them take care of us because they were retired. I helped a lot with my brothers—I didn’t feed them or like, buy them clothes or anything, but I told them stories about our mom, which our dad never did. I told my youngest brother about our dad because he was so little and couldn’t remember. Then I went to college, but stayed close because they still needed me and—”
You stopped talking and took a deep breath. It had all come out at once, seemingly uncontrolled, as if the words had been waiting to spill out to someone. The embarrassment made your cheeks hot and you wanted the whole thing to be over, so you finished it. “Then I left.”
You let go of the spatula and glanced up at Harry who had a sympathetic look on his face. You hated it. When he didn’t say anything, simply stared at you with his hand wrapped around his glass, you pulled the glass baking dish over and started pouring the batter into it.
“Anyway, I should probably get these in the oven.”
He finally spoke when your back was turned. “You don’t come from where I thought you did.”
When you turned back around, Harry was staring into his glass and turning it with his fingers. “Your family…your background…it’s not what I thought.” He shrugged.
“What did you think?”
Harry hadn’t known anything about you other than what you had chosen to share, which wasn’t very much. You kept all of this information extremely close and so it wasn’t a surprise that he had taken his own guesses as to where you came from. You would’ve done the same thing if his background wasn’t public knowledge. It was human nature to be curious about the lives of other people and often, we adjusted our own judgements based on that knowledge. Because of that, you had a feeling you weren’t going to like Harry’s answer.
He scratched the back of his neck. “I thought you were really spoiled and, like, came from money or something. I always thought you just had everything handed to you.” You scoffed, obviously offended, as he continued. ���It’s just the way you carry yourself, I guess. The way you act.”
“Are you saying I act snobby?”
“No—just, a little ‘better than’. We’ve already had this conversation.” You leveled him with a look that told him you didn’t care. You wanted him to keep going. He sighed. “I know you’re successful, but you’ve never been humble about it. Like, your ego has always been huge and the only other people I know like that had been, like, super privileged their whole lives. Always got what they wanted, had their parents buy their way into things.”
“It never once occurred to you that I had a big ego because I earned it? I’ve done everything on my own, I think that gives me a right to be a little proud about it.” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“And it does! It does.” Harry raised his hands in surrender. “It makes a lot more sense now, honestly. You should be proud. I’m sorry.”
You shrugged and dropped your arms from your chest. “Like you said, we’ve already talked about it. Want to pick a movie while we wait?”
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A little over thirty minutes later, you were placing a few brownies on a small plate as Harry sat against the short, wooden headboard of your bed. He had helped you pull the tv out and swivel it so it was facing your bed, something you rarely did because it required you to climb on top of your old coffee table. You’ve Got Mail was paused on the opening credits and all the lights except for the ones in the kitchen were off.
You padded over, still in your dress and tights and placed the plate on the bed before climbing on next to him.
“Thanks for making it.” You said as you smoothed a hand over the comforter. While you tidied up the kitchen, Harry had kindly sorted your bed out, after declaring that it would be a more comfortable place to watch the movie. He was probably right; your sofa was in no way long enough for his body.
“Thanks for the brownies.” He said as he picked up a corner piece and took a bite.
It felt weird again between the two of you. The tension had returned and you didn’t like it. Why had tonight been so hard? Why couldn’t the two of you be normal? Did you have a normal? It seemed that everything between the two of you fluctuated so often it was hard to pin down a baseline, something to measure everything else against.
You took a brownie, also a corner piece, as Harry pressed play. For the entirety of the opening credits and the first ten minutes of the movie, the two of you sat shoulder to shoulder on your bed, munching on brownie and sipping from glasses of water and then wine in silence.
When the plate was clear, Harry moved it from the space between your legs to your nightstand. As he leaned back into your pillows, he lifted his arm above your head, signaling that he wanted you closer. You scooted over until your side was flush against his and let him drop his arm around you. After shifting to get more comfortable, you laid next to him, your chest pressed against his side, his hand rubbing your waist softly as your fingers traced tiny, nervous circles on his chest.
He moved down a little and rested his cheek on the top of your head but not before he placed a kiss to your hair. You could feel the warmth stir in you again. It was confusing when he was sweet like this. You knew he wanted to be friends and that he liked you, but this wasn’t normal friend behavior which twisted everything up in your mind. 
“Comfortable?” Harry asked.
You looked up at him, which forced him to lift his cheek from where it rested. “Yeah. Are you?” It came out quietly. You were so close; close enough that your nose brushed his when you looked up at him. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips—and then again. You closed the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips to his tentatively. It hadn’t ever happened like this before and there were nerves stirring in the pit of your stomach.
For a second, there was no response, and then the hand that wasn’t on your waist was holding your cheek and he was pulling you closer to his body. The hand that was on his chest went to rest on his neck, the brush of your fingertips sending a slight shiver through him.
He kissed you slowly and patiently. The nerves you were feeling had dissipated and had been replaced by an aching kind of need. The last time you wanted him, he denied you and you hoped it wouldn’t happen again. You spent the past few days trying not to think about the way his hands felt on your body, trying to curb the desperation that had shown itself on the night of Halloween.
Harry had become the person you thought about when you were alone at night—as hard as you tried to fight it. He was the one you imagined touching you even though your hands were so much smaller, so much softer, than his. It was embarrassing, really, how much pleasure you got from just the idea of him but he made you feel good and no part of you was able to forget it.
Harry moved forward, his lips still on yours, so that you were lying on your back and he was on his side. He dipped his tongue into your mouth as his hand left your cheek and trailed down your chest, over your dress, and landed on your inner thigh. He squeezed your thigh and massaged his fingers into the tight covered skin. You let out a hushed whimper and felt warmth blossom between your thighs.
Harry moved his hand over the outside of your thigh and pushed it under your dress to grab your ass. You bit his lip and response and he moaned softly.
There was too much fabric between the two of you; Harry’s sweater was just getting in the way. You pulled your right hand from where it was wedged between the two of you and settled both of your hands on the bottom of his sweater.
“Off?” He asked when you tugged lightly and you nodded. Harry pulled his left hand from where it was under you and sat up so you could pull his sweater off of him.
You smirked when you saw his t-shirt: women are smarter. “Nice choice.”
“Thought you’d approve.” He mirrored your expression before pulling his sweater from your hands and dropping it onto the floor. He hooked his finger around the tie of your dress. “Can I?”
You pulled at one of the strings in the bow, causing it to come undone. Harry replaced your hand with his and finished untying it and pulling it open. He moved back to his side and let his right hand slip under the silk shirt you were wearing underneath, trailing his fingertips over your warm skin. You tugged lightly on his t-shirt to get him to kiss you again and he obliged, kissing you at the same slow place as before.
Harry released a pleased hum when you snuck your hands under his t-shirt and ran your hands over his sides.
“Take it off.” He mumbled against your lips.
Once the t-shirt was over his head, his hands were tugging at the sleeves of your black dress, trying to get them down. You sat up slightly, both so you could reconnect your lips and to help him get it off of you. When you laid back down, Harry’s fingers started fiddling with the buttons of you blouse, but then he paused.
“Is this okay?”
“Of course it is.” It was a breathless whisper.
“Tell me if I’m going to fast.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. This was the slowest the two of you had ever gone. When his expression remained the same, you kissed him softly. “You’re perfect.”
He tried to hide his smile by kissing you and moving you back down so that he was half hovering over you. Your left hand went back to rest on his neck as his right hand worked at the buttons of your blouse. When he got the last one done, he pushed the material open and cursed softly when glanced at your body.
You had worn a cream colored set that day—you wanted to match the tights in case of any kind of unfortunate incident and you wanted to feel sexy that day. You needed the confidence boost since you had woken up feeling so nervous.
Harry trailed his fingers under the wire of your bra and then down until they caught on to the band of your tights. He tugged at it delicately before moving back down towards your inner thigh. He brushed his fingers over your covered clit and you whimpered again. When he applied more pressure, you moaned and moved your hand from his neck to grip onto his shoulder. Harry moved his finger down towards where you center was and were sure it was damp at the least.
“Fuck.” He breathed before he squeezed the inside of your thigh again. You heard the tear. His finger had caught onto the tiny hole you had caused the last time you wore the tights. It was extremely high up and on the inside of your thigh so you didn’t see the problem in continuing to wear them since the hole would always be covered.
“Of course.” You mumbled.
Harry shrugged innocently. “I can make up for it?”
“Oh, you will.”
Harry giggled softly and you couldn’t help but join him as you pulled him back down to kiss you. He shifted himself so that he was hovering over you completely. He pulled away just far enough that his lips grazed yours as he spoke. “How ‘bout I do that now?”
You nodded and kisses him again quickly before he dipped his face into the crook of your neck. He ran his tongue over the spot below your ear and then sucked lightly. Harry continued trailing kisses down your body and over the tights before he settled himself between your legs. You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and gave him a questioning look.
He was leaning on his elbows when he took his left hand and stuck a finger into the small hole in your tights. “I thought I’d just…”
“Harry.” You were giving him a warning.
You heard them tear and he pulled on them with his finger. “Could be fun, yeah?”
“You owe me a pair of tights.” You said as you moved your elbows and fell onto your back, deciding it was easier to just give in—maybe even more fun.
The rip was loud and you could feel the air hit the insides of your thighs. He had torn them straight across and created a large hole that gave him easy access to you.
He ran a hesitant finger over your panties before pulling them to the side. Harry hummed in what seemed to be anticipation as he ran a finger through your folds and swirled the tip of it around your clit causing you moan in slight surprise. When he pulled his finger away, you made a needy sound and he pushed your legs open wider so he could get comfortable.
The second his tongue was on your clit, your hands were in his hair. His tongue was warm and you could feel how wet you were. When he sucked the small bud into his mouth, your hips bucked and your grip on his hair tightened. He moaned at the action and began flicking his tongue over your clit quickly, building you up so that your breath was coming out quickly, in pants, before bringing his tongue back down through your folds and dipping into your center.
He was trying to torture you, to tease you, to build you up and then take the sensation away until you were frustrated and begging. You knew he liked to hear it and you would have to decide how nice to him you wanted to be.
Harry swirled his tongue over your clit and continued to trace it in circles as you pulled on his hair with each moan that left your mouth. He moaned against you when he heard you say his name. He sucked onto your clit again and had to clamp his right hand down onto your thigh to stop you from closing your legs.
“Fuck.” You groaned when he went back to tracing the bud in circles.
He could see you struggling to keep your eyes open. Your brows were furrowed and your lips were slightly swollen. Every few seconds he would catch you looking at him before your lashes fluttered shut again. He had a feeling you were close, but he loved having you like this and he wanted it to go on for as long as he could make it.
When he tried to move from your clit, your grip on him tightened and he knew you wanted to finish.
“Please, don’t move.” Your voice was breathless.
He stayed where he was and continued to do exactly what he had been doing. He could feel your legs start to shake on either side of him and your noises were becoming short and rushed.
“Fuck!” The cry was strangled as you arched your back against the bed and rolled your hips against his tongue.
He licked you slow, all the way through your orgasm and even as you came down. Just when you seemed relaxed and your breathing had started to return to normal, he pushed a finger into you, forcing a surprised moan from your lips.
“Harry,” you whined.
“Feel good?” He knew you probably wanted more, but he still needed to double check that it was okay.
“Mhmm.” Your eyes were closed again and your hand fell from his hair to rest on your thigh, the backs of your fingers brushing slightly over his cheek.
Harry kissed your hand before adding another finger. Your back arched again and you whimpered. Your hand fell to the bed where you grabbed unsuccessfully at the comforter. When we added his tongue your hips rolled against his mouth and you gave a drawn-out moan. He moved his fingers to match the rhythm of your hips and made sure to curl his fingers into you every time they dipped inside.
It felt like a lot to you; his tongue moved slowly as his fingers curled deep. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and tried to hold in the cry that tried to escape when he quickened the pace of his tongue. You felt the orgasm already start to build in your belly, but didn’t want to give up the feeling that quickly.
Your clit was sensitive and the roll of your hips became less rhythmic with every pass of his tongue. Harry pressed a kiss to the spot right above your clit, giving you a short break but your hips continued to move.
“Close, baby?”
“Mhmm—fuck, Harry.” Your eyes were squeezed shut and your hands were back in his hair, his curls wrapped around your fingers. When you glanced down, you could see his hips barely moving against the bed, trying to satisfy himself in any way he could.
His tongue began to move in precise circles around your clit when you pushed him further into you. Once your hips had lost their rhythm completely, he started moving his fingers faster and curling them in as deep as they could go. Your breathing grew harsh ad your chest rose and fell slowly as your second orgasm built gradually.
“God…” It sounded like a curse falling from your lips. “Harry, I-I’m coming.” You had to choke the words out as your vision split and you felt the sensation make its way throughout your entire body. Your moans came out an octave below a scream and you were sure your neighbors—all of them—could hear you, but you didn’t care.
Harry placed kisses on the small bud as he continued the movement of his fingers throughout your high. When you came down, you brushed your fingers through his hair softly and massaged the tips of your fingers into his scalp, fully aware of how hard you had been tugging. The mix of wine and two orgasms had made you slightly sleepy, but you weren’t done yet. You wanted what he had refused to give you Saturday night.
Harry moved back up to lay on top of you and placed a soft kiss to your lips.
“Take those off.” You whispered as you tugged on the belt loop of his jeans.
He pushed himself off of you and the bed so he was standing and undid his jeans as you took off your blouse and bra. When your hands went to the waistband of the tights, Harry shook his head. “Keep those on.”
You rolled your eyes. “I hate fucking with underwear on. It just gets in the way.”
Harry dropped his socks on the floor and then crawled back onto the bed. You watched him tug helplessly on the lace material of your underwear and tried to hold in a laugh. He adjusted his grip and tried again—and failed. A frustrated look took over his face as he tried a third time and again, failed. 
You couldn’t hold in the laugh any longer. “Want to try a fourth?”
“Forget it. Just take them off.” He sounded disappointed.
“Look,” You sat up and tore at the tights a little more to get to at a specific part of your panties. “You have to tear them here.” With one swift movement, you had torn them apart, giving Harry clear access to all of you.
“So you’ve done this before.” You couldn’t tell if he was impressed or disappointed that he was slightly behind your experience.
You dipped your hands under the tights and pulled your panties up so you could tear them again at the hip, that way they were off completely. “And you obviously haven’t.”
“Okay, okay, enough.” He pulled the delicate fabric from your hands and threw them behind him before grabbing your jaw before settling on top of you. “If I agree to buy you another pair, will you shut up?”
You smirked. “Maybe.”
“You’re so fucking annoying.” He mumbled as he sat back up. He grabbed your hips and turned you over so you were on your stomach and then pulled them towards him, forcing you on your knees. You bit your lip in anticipation, never shying away from Harry being rough.
Harry lined himself up with your center and pushed inside. He gave you no time to adjust before pulling back and driving into you, causing you to curse loudly. His left hand stayed gripping your hip harshly while his right hand moved up your back. He gripped onto the back of your neck so that you dropped your head onto the mattress, back completely arched, hands fisting the comforter in front of you.
“Fucking hell.” His voice was low and raspy.
When his right hand came down on your ass, you let out a small shriek, more surprised than anything.
“Okay, baby?” He asked as he rubbed over the spot he had hit, the warmth of his hand veiled by the tights.
“Fuck—yeah…I’m okay.” Your words were broken by moans as he continued to pump in and out of you. Your grip tightened on the comforter when his hand came down again.
Harry didn’t think he was pushing any sort of boundaries, you had done all of this before but for whatever reason it felt different then. Each time you cursed or moaned when his hand hit your skin, he was listening for any indication of pain or dislike in a way he hadn’t the last time the two of you did this.
He slowed down the speed of his thrusts and cursed when your moans grew in both volume and frequency. You liked when he went slow and pushed deep—he needed to remember that. He leaned forward and pushed your hair away from your face so he could see you—only your profile, but he liked to see the way he made you feel. He massaged the cheek that was growing red even through the thick material and gave you a second to recover before he did it again. Just as he was about to bring his hand down, he heard something that more than surprised him.
“I want to see you.”
“What?” He paused inside of you and squeezed your hip.
“I want to see you.” Your voice was small and, if Harry didn’t know better, you sounded almost embarrassed.
Harry felt his chest warm. He pulled out and pushed at your hips, signaling for you to turn over and lay on your back. Once you were settled, he hovered over you and kissed you slowly.
“Better?” He mumbled against the corner of your mouth. You nodded and kissed his cheek before turning his chin so you had access to his lips again. He reentered you with a low moan and dropped his forehead onto yours. You ran your hands along his biceps and squeezed when he pushed in deep. “Feels good.” He mumbled. “Fuck, you feel good.”
You lifted your legs a little more and held your knees closer to you so that he could push even deeper. When you saw his eyes flutter shut and his brow furrow in pleasure, you brought your left hand to his cheek and used your right to brush his hair back. “Look at me.” You whispered.
You had never wanted this with him before, this kind of intimacy. You never cared whether or not you could see him or feel him on top of you the way you did then. You felt this deep ache for connection in your chest and you weren’t sure at all where it came from. He needed to look at you. He needed to look at you the same way you were looking at him.
He lifted his forehead from yours and opened his eyes. You watched them roam over your face. “You’re so fucking pretty.”
Your hand went to the back of his neck and you pulled him back into a kiss. He dropped to his elbows and you could finally feel his chest on yours. He moaned into your mouth as he continued his thrusts.
“Fuck, Harry.” You sighed. You knew he loved to hear his name. “Fuck, that feels good.” When he heard your praise, he pushed harder and let out a groan.
“Oh…baby.” His voice was strained and you could tell that he was trying to control his thrusts. His hips held onto their rhythm as you brushed your nose against his, his lips hovering over yours. When he hit a particularly deep spot, you dug your nails into his sides, earning a pleased hum from him. You dragged your nails down his sides as he continued moving and it was clear that he enjoyed it.
He dropped his face into your neck—a sure sign that he was almost ready. He kissed and nipped at the skin of your neck, mumbling your name along with a few curses. You loved hearing your name as much as he loved hearing his.
A desperate whimper fell from your lips when his skin brushed against your clit. After the second time, he adjusted himself so it happened every time and the sensation was almost too much. “Holy…fuck.” Your words came out as a whisper and you were sure you would be leaving nail marks in his skin.
“Baby—oh, my god.” Harry’s teeth sunk into the spot between your neck and shoulder and you felt a tingling sensation move up your neck and into your hair.  You loved when guys did that—but it felt the best when Harry did it.
His hips began to slow and he was holding himself in you for a few seconds with each thrust. He would pant and then drive himself into you again. You knew he was trying to prolong it for your sake but you wanted him to feel good.
“Harry—baby, I want you to cum.”
“Yeah?” It was muffled since his face was buried in your neck.
You nodded even though he couldn’t see you, then vocalized your approval. “Yeah, babe.” You tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck.
“Fuck, (Y/N). Fuck…” His moans were desperate and needy.
You wrapped one arm around his neck and draped the other over his back as you pulled him as close to you as possible. You felt his breath against your neck and held in a shiver when his teeth grazed your skin. You whispered his name as your own orgasm built, although you didn’t care whether or not you finished for the third time. For the first time, this was only about Harry.
A gasp was followed by a rough moan and then a breathy pant before Harry pulled out of you and emptied himself all over your folds. You held him as he finished, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and scratching at the skin of his upper back.
He kissed your neck three times when he was done before pushing off of you and laying on his back. “Where’s the—“ He was breathless and you felt a weird sense of affection towards him—like you wanted to take care of him, to coddle him, to brush you fingers through his hair as he fell asleep. You tried to shake it off, tried to chalk it up to the sex haze you were in, but something in the back of your mind told you it was more than that, something in your gut told you that you needed to stop kidding yourself.
“Where’s…where should I get the towel?” Harry asked as he laid there next to you. He ran a hand through his hair.
You shook your head and sat up. “I’ll get it.”
“Wait.” He grabbed onto your arm and stopped you. He sat up and got to his knees in front of you. He grabbed onto the waistband of the tights and began to pull them down. You cooperated by pulling your knees in and once Harry had dropped them on the floor, he fell back beside you and kissed your shoulder.
You stood up, suddenly extremely conscious of how your body looked and walked quickly to your bathroom. You pulled the towel you used that morning from off the hanger behind the door and cleaned yourself up. Afterwards, you leaned your hands on either side of the sink and looked at yourself for the first time since you left for work that morning. Your eye makeup was smudged from what you and Harry had just done, your hair slightly tousled in a way that didn’t look bad, and your eyes were bright, excited—alive. You took a deep breath before pulling open your medicine cabinet. You were taking your birth control an hour late, but it was fine—you had taken it much later in the past and never had any problems. While you were in there, you decided to wash your face as quick as possible and peed to make sure there were no UTIs in your future.
When you emerged, Harry was still laying on top of the covers, his eyes glued to the TV which was still playing the movie.
“Alright?” He asked as you handed him the towel.
You nodded. “Yeah, just figured I’d get ready for bed while I was in there.”
You climbed onto the bed next to him and laid on your back. When he finished cleaning himself, he dropped the towel to the floor. He rolled over onto his side and leaned his head on his hand for support. His fingers went to your ribcage, where the small bouquet tattoo resided.
“Hm.” He traced the flowers with his fingers. “I got this wrong.”
“Got what wrong?” You were struggling to keep your eyes open.
“I thought this was a peony, but it doesn’t look right.”
“That’s because it’s a carnation.”
“What do you mean why?” You tried not to squirm as his fingers tickled over your side.
“Why these four flowers? It seems oddly specific.”
“It’s me and my brothers.” You crossed your right arm over your body and your fingers joined Harry’s as they traced over your left side. “I got it when I was eighteen. It’s the months we were born.”
“It’s the only tattoo you have.” His voice was soft.
“It’s the only one I want.” Yours was a whisper.
Harry realized then just how much he didn’t know about you. He always thought you were so cold, that you didn’t care about anything or anyone; he thought your callous attitude was natural, that you saw everyone as unworthy until they proved themselves otherwise beyond a shadow of a doubt—but that wasn’t the case. You were warm—unbelievably warm. You seemed to love your brothers more than you loved anything else and he understood that there was something maternal in you. It was innate because of your status as an older sister—he saw it in Gemma constantly—but it was amplified because you actually had to take on that role. He remembered the way you talked about your brothers: keeping tabs on them, guiding them, admonishing them and supporting them—beyond what a sister was meant to do. He believed you when you said it was the only tattoo you ever wanted. He trusted that they were really the only thing you’d ever love with every part of you.
He scooted closer to you and draped his arm across your waist. He kissed your cheek as he rubbed his thumb over your skin. “Can I stay?”
“Of course you can.”`
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November 6, 2020
“He stayed?” Charlotte asked, her martini glass poised in front of her lips.
“He stayed.”
“Didn’t you have work yesterday?”
“I did.”
“You are not giving me as much detail as I deserve.”  
It was Friday and you were at Charlotte’s apartment for a martini and pizza night. Usually, the two of you did wine because Sarah didn’t like martini’s and they were honestly a little much, but Sarah still wasn’t talking to either of you and you needed the burn running down your throat.
You two were sat on her couch in your sweats, your hair tied back with Tame Impala’s discography playing throughout her apartment.
Sarah was treating her the same way she was treating Harry; she only spoke to her during rehearsals and when it was necessary. The night before, they band had gone out for dinner and Charlotte lamented about how awkward it was. Both Adam and Mitch knew about you and Harry—and neither of them cared—but Sarah had the power to turn a small thing into a colossal thing. According to Charlotte, Mitch was beyond encouraging and insisted on making jokes about it all rehearsal while Adam egged him on. Sarah was pouty and pissy and scoffed at every joke while everyone ignored. Charlotte said that Sarah needed to realize that she was only hurting herself—and that she was the only who gave a shit about the whole thing—and you reminded her that Sarah was the most stubborn out of the three of you, which was saying a lot.
“He just…slept over. We woke up at six—well, I woke up at six and got ready for work like normal.” You shrugged. “He slept until I brought him a coffee and even then he, like, stayed in bed until I was about ready to walk out the door.”
“Did he drive you to work?”
“He did.” You nodded.”
“Oh, my god. Did he kiss you goodbye?” Charlotte covered her mouth with her hand in excitement and anticipation.
“He did.” You smiled as she squealed.
“My god, (Y/N). He likes you.”
You shook your head. “No. Only as a friend.”
“Oh, fuck off!” She waved her hand at you. “Whatever. I want to know how the sex was.”
“Charlotte, that’s weird.”
“It is not!”
You picked up your martini from where it sat on her coffee table. “Yes, it is! You’re friends with him, you see him every day. That’s weird.”
“Oh, come on. You’re absolutely no fun.”
“Harry would disagree.” You said slyly as you took a sip from your glass.
Charlotte scoffed. “You’re unbelievable.”
“I’m pretty sure Harry would say that too.” You smirked and Charlotte rolled her eyes at you.
“Honestly, though. What’s going on here? The two of you are having sex seemingly regularly and you’re both staying the night and making dinner for one another. What’s happening?”
You shrugged again. “Nothing.” You shook your head dismissively. “I don’t know. He says he likes me and that he wants to be friends. I guess I want to be friends too. I was wrong about him, I think. He’s kind of fun and kind of hot—and he’s smart—in very particular ways—but I like listening to him explain things and talk about stuff. We had a really nice time the other night and the sex is great. I don’t know. I know I want to be friends, but everything is still kind of confusing.”
“You’re so fucking annoying. I could slap you.” Charlotte took a large sip from her drink. “You like him. Like, you fancy him. Just get over yourself and admit it. I am tired.”
You opened your mouth to answer, but no words came out.
“Let me walk you through it.” She positioned herself so she was facing you completely and you nodded, very much prepared for her instruction. “You like hooking up with him, right? Since, you know, you keep doing it.”
“So you like him.”
“I mean, yeah. Now I do. I didn’t before.”
“No, but you like him, like him.”
“Oh.” You paused. “No, I don’t think so. I think I have a crush, though. Kind of a big crush, actually.”
“Babe, you’ve had a crush. I think we’re past crush.”
You furrowed your brow and pulled at your bottom lip. Charlotte was the only one who noticed that you did it in the same way Harry did—a new development. “I feel like you’re wrong.”
She rolled her eyes. “I am not wrong. You—“
“Hold on.” You said when you felt your phone vibrate and saw a certain editor’s name as the sender of the email. “Oh, my god.”
“What? You get a text from lover boy?” Charlotte asked, a smirk dancing on her lips.
“No.” You said, not reacting to her words at all. “It’s an email from an editor at the New Yorker. They’re going to publish one of my poems.”
“Like, actually?”
“Yes, actually.” You repeated as you looked up at Charlotte, your phone clutched tightly in your hands.
“Oh, my god! That’s great!” She grabbed your wrist and quickly sobered her expression. “Wait, that’s great, right?”
“Yes, Charlotte. That’s great.” You laughed when she went back to being excited for you.
“We’re going out tomorrow to celebrate. I’ll text everyone. I don’t care whether or not you want to. It’s happening. Just buy a hot outfit and be there.” She was already unlocking her phone.
You were about to tell her that it was unnecessary when your phone vibrated again. This time it was a message from Harry.
Guess who’s gonna be on the cover of British Vogue?
Ur taking too long
It’s me :)
You smiled down at your phone and sent him a response.
Guess this calls for a double celebration. Are you free tomorrow?
Double celebration?
Charlotte will text you the details ;)
Can you text me the details?
Or at least call me when you get home? Feel like we haven’t talked in ages
It had only been a day, but you would be lying if you said his text didn’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“We’re going to The Roxy tomorrow night. Don’t make any other plans, alright?” Charlotte said as she texted on her phone.
“Alright.” You said as you sent Harry the details.
If you don’t show I’ll be pretty upset.
I’ll always show up for you
You desperately tried to ignore the way his words made you feel. It had just been a long time since someone had acted like that towards you. You hadn’t had a serious boyfriend or any guy even remotely steady since before you moved here. It was simply nice to hear those words, to think that someone was there for you. That was all.
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November 7, 2020
The day had felt so long. You had changed your outfit a million times, had gone back and forth between hairstyles and lip colors. You checked the time with Charlotte three times and tried to pretend that it didn’t bother you that Sarah and Mitch wouldn’t be in attendance.
You showered four hours before you had to leave and spent way too long on your hair. You had to fuck around your apartment for over an hour since you didn’t want to do your makeup to early. You read some of Mary Oliver’s poetry as well as some of Helier Skelter—a book you had been trying to finish for over a year.
When it was time to do your makeup, you kept it simple—well, sort of. You kept your base makeup the same: light foundation, a shit ton of powder because you would be sweating, light on the bronzer, and a little heavy handed on the blush (both on the ops of your cheeks and your nose). You smoked out a wing on your eyes and dragged some brown shadow across your lash line and paid careful attention to your lashes. You dragged a deep red lipstick over your lips before shimmying into your dress.
It was short—your favorite kind. You had splurged on it ages ago but never thought an occasion worthy enough to wear it. You weren’t exactly sure what made you feel like that night was the right time—after all, it was only a poem—and you made sure to tune out the voice in your head that repeatedly whispered that Harry would like it. You didn’t dress for him, or any man for that matter. Well, maybe that was a lie. Two things could simultaneously be true, couldn’t they?
It was the same color of your lipstick: a deep, wine red. The neckline was a V and dipped only slightly into your cleavage. The straps were thin and lined with tiny little stones. It was tight on your torso and the skirt was an a-line, the fabric close to your body but not skin tight. The dress ended a few inches below your thigh; the bottom was adorned in jeweled fringe that was about an inch long, which didn’t add much to the length of the dress.
You paired it with a pair of strappy nude heels which often became painful after a few hours but a few drinks always seemed to fix that problem. You dropped your phone into your small bag along with your birth control—just in case—and sprayed your favorite perfume in the crooks of your elbows, on the backs of your knees and on the back of your neck, and then your puffy coat before walking out the door.
The plan was to meet at Charlotte’s for pre-club drinks but you were running about twenty minutes late and so you weren’t sure how much drinking you would get to do. You had a feeling you would be slightly behind everyone else for the rest of the night, but you didn’t mind that much—you weren’t a huge fan of blacking out to any degree, and had a habit of overdoing it at clubs because it was just so easy. You also swore that somehow the loud music made tequila completely tasteless—in a club setting it always went down like water.
You pulled the long coat tighter around your body as you waited for Charlotte to buzz you in. Other voices were clear over the intercom and it sounded like they were playing music.
As always, her door was unlocked, and when you pushed it open, a small cheer erupted around the room.
“There she is!” Adam called from his place at the kitchen island. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Sorry.” You said with a sheepish smile.
Harry held his arm open where he stood on the opposite side of the island and motioned you over. Once you were under his arm, he hugged you into his side. “Worth the wait, though.”
You rolled your eyes despite the smile on your face and moved to greet Charlotte. “He’s been very impatient.” She said into you ear. “It’s very sweet.”
You moved to Adam who held a shot glass between the two of you so you couldn’t hug him. “You owe me one, first.”
“Easy.” You downed the shot quickly and fought the urge to make a face. Adam clapped his hands together before pulling you into a tight hug.
“Hey, (Y/N).” Mitch said as he hugged you back. “Sorry, I couldn’t get her to come.”
You shook your head and tried to show that it didn’t bother you, but you weren’t sure how convincing it was. “It’s fine.”
“Take that jacket off!” Charlotte appeared behind you and tugged on the hood with a full drink in her hand.
You pulled down the zipper and shrugged it off your shoulders.
“Jesus Christ.” Adam said as you handed Charlotte your jacket and took the gin and tonic. “You look fucking amazing.”
“Mate.” You heard the warning in Harry’s voice and rolled your eyes for real.
“Thank you, Adam.” You squeezed his forearm before settling yourself next to him. You purposefully didn’t go near Harry—mostly to annoy him. Just because the two of you were fucking, didn’t mean he had the right to get all possessive—especially when it was a compliment from a friend.
“Charlotte, you look so good.” You said and she did a little spin in her dress, a small smile on her face. She was wearing a hot pink, sparkly wrap dress which looked amazing with her slightly faded orange hair. Teal eyeliner was smudged along her top lash line a little bit under her lower line as well. Her lipstick was a deep magenta and it might’ve been your favorite look of hers to date.
“Thank you.” She did a small curtsey after she spun. “Oh, there’s snacks near Harry if you want some—and some pizza, which is probably cold now.”
You knew she was trying to get you to go over near Harry. She tried her best to hide her smirk as she said it but she was the worst at hiding what was going on in her head.
“Mitch, can you hand me a slice, please?” He was standing on the other side of Adam and next to Harry.
Just as Mitch was about to pull one out for you, Harry slid the box away. “If you want it, you’ve got to come and get it.” He winked.
So tonight was going to be like this. This was going to be the downside to everyone knowing what was going on; there would be never ending teasing, jokes, expectations. It was so much easier when no one knew and you didn’t have to stand next to him if you didn’t want to or talk to him. It was easier when he had no choice other than to act like a normal fucking person around you. You knew the jokes and teasing would get old quickly, but you didn’t know how to tell Charlotte to quit it—and Harry to stop being so fucking weird—without sounding like a complete bitch. So you sucked it up and walked around the island to where Harry was standing.
He handed you the slice of pizza and then dropped his arm around your waist, his hand falling onto your ass. You ignored the small warmth between your legs and focused on being annoyed at the whole situation.
“So…we’re celebrating something tonight?” Mitch looked over at you with a knowing twinkle in his eye.
You swallowed a mouthful of gin before responding. “Sort of? I guess? It really is such a tiny thing, it doesn’t need a celebration.”
“I disagree.” Charlotte raised her hand.
“Well, you would since this whole thing was your idea.” You commented before taking a bite of your pizza.
“You’re being published in the New Yorker for the second time. And it’s a poem, which you said is the first time you’ve ever had a poem seriously published. So, it is a big deal.” She turned her attention to Harry. “And Harry’s going to be on the cover of British Vogue.” She pointed and moved her finger between the two of you. “And you two are finally being honest about fucking!”
Harry choked on his tequila and both Adam and Mitch let out a laugh while you stood there, absolutely wanting to disappear.
“Is it time to go yet?” You asked.
“Once every one finishes we’ll go.” Charlotte said.
At the same time, you and Harry raised your glasses to your lips and downed what was left. Mitch and Adam exchanged a look before doing the same. You all looked over at Charlotte. “Oh, fine.” She said reluctantly before finishing whatever was in her glass.
As everyone else collected their stuff to go, Harry squeezed your ass and dropped a kiss to your head. “Want me to get your jacket?”
You looked up at him. “I’m not wearing it.”
His eyes widened slightly. “You’re going to absolutely freeze.”
“It doesn’t go with my outfit.”
“So? You’ve just got to wear it until we’re inside.”
You shook your head adamantly. “It’ll look stupid.”
“You rather freeze than ruin your outfit for a few seconds?”
“Yes.” You said it as though it was obvious and he laughed lightly.
“Absolutely ridiculous.”
“So is that shirt.” You smirked as you pulled on its collar. It was electric blue and adorned in polka dots. He paired it with a pair of high waisted, black trousers, which you loved, and  pair of black Gucci boots.
He leaned down to you. “Bit rude, yeah?” He kissed you softly.
Just as he was about to go in for another, Mitch’s voice rang out. “Yeah, this as just as weird as I thought it would be.”
“Oh, fuck off.” Harry groaned as you laughed.
“Trust me, it’s weird for me too.” You said and ignored the exaggerated pout on Harry’s face.
“Whatever.” Harry said as he looked at his phone. “Car’s here!” He called as he walked towards the door and you all followed behind him.
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The Roxy was what seemed to be a Great Gatsby themed club near Piccadilly. It wasn’t specifically Great Gatsby themed, but as soon as you walked down the stairs and a man opened the door, that’s exactly what came to mind.
Large, crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, glistening in the multicolored club lights that were above them. The entire wall where the bar was to the left was mirrored and framed in gold. The bar itself was made of dark wood and seemed ornately carved; both the men and women behind it wore jewel toned vests and bowties.
The dj’s booth was raised slightly above the dance floor and was covered in mosaicked mirror, forcing the lights to bounce off of the small pieces each time the lights on the ceiling turned.
The couches that sat on a platform along the right side of the club were velvet and matched the jewel tones that the bartenders were wearing. The stairs that led to the platform was blocked off by a black velvet rope and a security guard clutching a small list to his chest.
Harry led the way over to him and when he got there, greeted the man with a handshake. Harry leaned in and said something in the man’s ear, who then did the same to him, before he unclipped the black rope and let Harry through. The rest of you needed to get your hands stamped; once you were all adorned with purple feathers, you were allowed to join Harry at one of the couches.
“Come here often?” You asked as you sat down next to him.
Immediately, his hand went to rest on your knee. “Only twice, but Eddie works at another bar I like near my house, so he knows me.”
“Ah, okay.” You leaned into his side a bit and believed it was only because there was still a chill in you from the few short seconds you spent outside and not just because you wanted to be close to Harry.
Right when everyone settled, a waitress came over and asked for everyone’s drink orders. Harry looked over at you. “Want tequila or gin, love?”
“Surprise me.” You shrugged before turning to Charlotte who was tapping on your arm from beside you.
“I cannot believe how normal this feels.” She said.
“How normal what feels?”
“You and Harry being together.”
“We’re not together.” You said with a furrowed brow.
“We’re fucking, not together. We’re friends, I guess—I think, but that’s it.”
“Wow, you’re really confused.”
Harry’s hand left your knee and landed on the back of your neck, pulling your attention away from Charlotte. “I haven’t said congratulations yet.”
You sighed. “It’s really so not a big deal.”
“It is! Poetry isn’t your best so it being in the New Yorker is huge.”
The furrow in your brow returned. “Who said it wasn’t my best?”
You saw the panic flash over his face. “You did?”
“Mm, no, don’t think that was me. Actually, if I’m recalling this correctly,” your pointer finger made contact with his chest, “it was you who had a lot to say about my poetry.”
“No…” Harry dragged the word out and shook his head in an exaggerated manner. “I would never.”
“Oh, you would and you have.”
“Mm, no. Don’t think that was me.” Harry leaned forward and kissed you—obviously trying to distract you from bringing up his past offenses.
When he pulled away, the waitress returned with the drinks and you took a sip of yours. Harry had gone tequila—straight tequila. You shouldn’t have been surprised.
You sat back against the couch and Harry draped his arm casually behind you. You crossed your right leg over your left and bopped your foot along to the familiar beat that was playing. You were already itching to dance, but didn’t want to go down there alone. You figured you would let everyone finish their first round before dragging them out into the crowd.
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Halfway through your tequila, you needed a break. It was a lot. It was strong and you seemed to be drinking yours much quicker than Harry.
You cradled your glass in your lap as Harry leaned over your legs to talk to Mitch who was sitting next to Adam. Harry’s thumb brushed along the inside of your knee softly as he spoke and you had a feeling that the only reason he was leaning the way he was, was to be close to you. There was really no other reason for it, since the couch was slightly curved in order to be able to see everyone sitting down and the music didn’t seem as loud up on the platform.
Harry’s neck was only a few inches from your face. Your eyes trailed over the way the tendrils at the base of his neck curled over his skin. When he raised his voice, his neck strained and allowed a vein to pop out just a bit—the way it did sometimes when the two of you were fucking. Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned forward and placed your lips delicately on his neck. You pulled back quickly, extremely embarrassed by your actions, but no one said anything. They just ignored it as if was normal and the only reaction you got from Harry was a squeeze to your knee and a huge grin as he continued to listen to what Mitch was saying.
Despite feeling like you wanted to slow down, you brought your glass to your lips and took a big gulp and forced yourself to enjoy the slight burning sensation as it moved down your throat. You couldn’t believe you had just done that. That so wasn’t you. Usually Harry was the one inappropriately affectionate or handsy in public and around your friends. You were always the one on the receiving end of it, always the one telling him to relax, or cut it out, or not to be to obvious—until you gave in eventually and simply enjoyed his attention. You felt a little embarrassed and forced down the need you felt to do it again.
“Another round?” The waitress asked when she reappeared. Without looking at Harry, you nodded and said ‘please’. You downed the rest of what was in your glass quickly before placing it on her tray.
When Harry sat back into the sofa, he leaned in close to your ear and brushed his nose over the top of it. “You okay? You don’t usually do that.”
“Fine.” You examined your nails in your lap, inspecting an imaginary chip in the polish at your thumb.
He kissed the spot right above your ear. “We’ll dance in a bit, yeah?” As he said it, he squeezed your knee again, reminding you that your foot was still bouncing along to the beat.
“Harry said the fitting for the cover was next week?” Charlotte asked, thankfully allowing you to turn away from Harry.
“Yeah, it’s on Tuesday.”
“That’s a bit quick.” She said before finishing the last of what was in her glass.
“Yeah, well, they want it for the January issue, which is meant to be ready for print by, like, the second week of December, so.”
“Are you stressed yet?”
You shook your head. “I really only have to show up. The interview is done, I just have to write the thing.”
“Arguably the hardest part.” She was echoing your past words. You were such a perfectionist that getting through the first draft was often harder than doing all of the research and running around to collect information.
“Yes.” You shrugged. “I don’t know, though. I have this weird gut feeling that this one will just write itself.”
“Hm. Wonder why…” You saw her eyes flicker behind you as a smirk broke out on her face.
The waitress placed the refills in front of all of you and by the second sip, you were beyond antsy. You didn’t want to sit down anymore. The dj was playing some of your favorite dance songs and you were missing out on all the excitement down below you.
You placed your drink on the table and stood up. “Okay, I’ve had enough. I’m going down.” You looked down to your left. “Charlotte?”
“Obviously.” She scoffed as he stood up with you.
Your eyes roamed over the boys. Adam took a sip of his drink, Mitch looked away and Harry’s eyes raked up and down your body. “Think I’d like to watch for a bit, actually.”
“Whatever.” You huffed. Charlotte grabbed your hand and led the two of you away from the boys, down the platform and onto the dance floor.
Just when you reached an empty spot on the dance floor, Hands Together by House of Omni started playing—one of your favorites from when you were running around New York with your college friends.
You started moving your hips in time with the baseline, singing the words to Charlotte, who had no clue what the song was but had a huge smile on her face.
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Harry was sure you had done it on purpose: chosen the one spot where he could see you perfectly. He had made the comment that he wanted to watch, but meant it as a teasing joke more than anything. If he did watch, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself in the slightest and although he wanted nothing more than to have his hands all over you in front of everyone, this was an extremely public place, with way too many eyes and it was in both of your best interests if he stopped himself from getting handsy anywhere that wasn’t the couch he was sitting on.
You were smiling as you danced with Charlotte. Each time she did a little spin, you tipped your head back and laughed. He could hear the sound in his ears and he couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face.
You looked more than amazing in that dress. He couldn’t stop looking at your body each time he was near you. The dress accented each curve of yours perfectly—it was sexy and delicate, and simple, but still special.
In the car, you were half on his lap—not because you needed to be, but because when you, Harry, and Mitch climbed into the second row of seats, he pulled you down onto him when you went to sit in the middle. His arm stayed tight around your waist the entire ride while his fingers trailed dangerously along the inside of your thigh. He had been ready for you since he saw you and couldn’t wait until later when he would get to have you all to himself.
At first, when he got the text from you inviting him out, he was a little surprised. Usually, you would’ve just let Charlotte invite him and pretend like you didn’t care whether or not he showed up. You never wanted to seem interested or like you wanted to see him even though he knew you usually did. If you didn’t, you would show up, or allow his invitation, or end up curled up together in someone’s bed each time you saw each other. This time, you had gone out of your way to invite him. You wanted him there with you.
He spent the entire day after the date trying to convince himself that it had actually happened. You asked him to stay, let him stay the night, were more than okay with him giving you a ride to work—you even initiated the kiss goodbye. He had somehow convinced himself that it was all in his head, but the invite for tonight made him think that he was more than right in thinking you were feeling the same way as he was.
Harry’s brow furrowed when he saw two guys approach you and Charlotte. He saw some blond talk to you but you shook your head—then leaned in so he could say something in your ear. Harry knew that it was probably innocent and that you most likely just couldn’t hear him, but he still felt a rush of jealousy.
“Mate,” He turned to Adam, knowing Mitch wasn’t much of a dancer, “c’mon.” He waved him along as he got up and started down towards the dance floor.
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You smiled at the guy, who’s name was Sam, and thanked him for the compliment. He hadn’t tried to buy you a drink or dance with you, just told you that you looked amazing. It was sweet and pretty rare behavior from a guy at a club. Usually they always wanted something, but he didn’t even try to get close to you at first; he only did it when you couldn’t hear him at all.
Suddenly, you felt someone’s hand land at the top of your ass. You immediately knew it was Harry, just from the way he touched you. His chest was against your shoulder and without thinking, you leaned back into him.
“Harry.” He stuck his hand out to the guy who took it without hesitation.
“Sam.” When Harry dropped his hand, Sam gestured towards you. “You’re real lucky mate. She’s beautiful.” He was talking to Harry but looking at you as he said it. You blushed and looked away.
“I am.” Harrys voice was hard.
Weirdly, you didn’t feel the need to correct him, to make it known that, no, Harry was in fact, not lucky because you weren’t actually his. Instead, you were hit with a small swell of pride, something you never expected.
“Have a nice night.” Sam said as he waved and backed away from the four of you with his friend.
“Surprised you let me do that.” Harry said in your ear as he wrapped his other arm around your waist and held you close to him.
“It would’ve made it awkward if I corrected you.” You explained and he nodded against your cheek.
“Oh, so that was it.” He kissed your temple before releasing you. “I guess I’ve got to dance now.”
“Yes, you do.” You smiled and dragged him into the little circle that you, Charlotte, and Adam made.
“Oh, fuck yeah!” Harry cheered when a version of Lizzo’s Boys started to play.
Harry never failed to make you laugh when he danced. He was more than attractive all the time, and even when he danced, but he was always just a little off rhythm, always a little goofy, always so animated that you couldn’t help but throw your head back in laughter.
He pulled what seemed to be his usual moves: rocked back and forth, did an exaggerated step-touch while his arms moved above his head, rolled his shoulders back and moved his arms at his sides. At one point, he even tried to mimic the way you moved your hips and stepped with your feet, which made containing your laughter impossible.
You shoved him away from you lightly. “I do not look like that.”
Just as the song changed to one with a darker beat, he grabbed your arms and held you from behind. “You kinda do, but hotter.”
“Oh, shut up.” You said in a teasing tone as you tried to move from his grasp, but he only held you tighter.
“C’mon, dance with me.”
“After you mocked me?”
He dropped a kiss to your neck, right under your ear. “Stop, you know I think you look amazing. I love watching you.”
You felt yourself melt into him then, completely flattered and loving his attention. “Yeah?” You pushed back into him and didn’t miss the hiss that left his lips. You started dancing again, extremely aware of the way your ass brushed against Harry every so often.
He wrapped his arm around you and placed his palm onto your inner thigh and gave it a small squeeze. “Fuck, I wish you were mine.”
You leaned back into him and tried to ignore the warning bells that were going off in your head, but you couldn’t. They weren’t warning you that Harry was saying something you didn’t like—the problem was that you liked it too much. The problem was, when he said those words, your stomach erupted in butterflies and you felt the warmth between your legs grow. The problem was: maybe you wanted to be his.
There was panic itching at your chest and you didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t deal with these feelings now. You couldn’t spend the whole night with him while you were having a freakout about him. You needed to get away for a bit. You needed to get some air and just try and think for a second.
You turned around and placed a quick kiss to his lips. “I need a drink.”
“Let me come with you.”
“No, stay. I’ll get you one too.” Before he could argue with you, you were pushing yourself through the crowd.
What the fuck was going on? You wanted Harry? You wanted to be his? That was wrong. It couldn’t be right. It couldn’t be the truth. You could make it a lie. All you needed was somebody else. It was that easy.
When you broke through to the other side of the crowd, you were fully stressed out and in need of something strong. “Sorry.” You said when you bumped into some guy’s back.
“You again.” Sam said with a smile on his face and his card in his hand.
“Yeah, me again.” You forced a smile back.
“No, Harry?”
“No.” You shook your head. “Sorry about that before. He’s a friend, just really protective of us.”
“Just a friend, yeah?”
“Absolutely.” You said as confidently as you could. You were trying to convince yourself more than you were trying to convince Sam.
“Then how ‘bout a drink?”
“I’d love one.”
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You were taking forever. Harry knew that the bar was probably insanely crowded, but you were always the one to push your way through the crowd and make yourself a priority to the bartender. Harry also already had a tab open so it wasn’t like you had to deal with the annoyance of paying for it.
Just wanted to make sure that you were okay, he excused himself from Charlotte and Adam and pushed his way towards the bar.
It took him less than a second to find you since the lights bounced off the fringe of your dress, causing you to sparkle no matter where you were in the room. He felt the the jealously burn his chest as his eyes narrowed in on you and the same guy he saw you with before. It didn’t look so innocent this time. He had handed you a drink and you took a step closer, letting him  brush his fingers down your arm.
Harry’s jaw clenched as he shook out his hand that had involuntarily formed itself into a fist. He shook his head in frustration before turning around and going back the way he came. He had no intention of causing a scene at the bar, but the two of you needed to talk.
He waited patiently with Charlotte and Adam until you came back, trying to dance with them and have fun but he was infuriated. He wanted to punch that guy in the face and scream in yours. He didn’t understand why you intended on doing this to him; why you felt the need to make him feel so good about the two of you and then purposefully hurt him.
Two songs came and gone before you got back to the group. He didn’t let you get a word about before he pulled the drink from your hands and dropped it in Adam’s. He pulled you close to him. “Bathroom. Now.” It wasn’t a suggestion and he knew you understood that from the way you followed closely behind him even though he dropped your wrist.
The bathrooms were neutral and so he pulled you into the only empty one, which was the last one in the long corridor. As soon as the door was locked behind the two of you he turned around and pointed his finger at your chest. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Your brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“What are you doing? With him?” Harry pointed towards the door.
You crossed your arms defensively. “We were just talking.”
“C’mon, (Y/N). I’m not a fucking idiot. That wasn’t just talking. You were fucking flirting with him.”
“And so what if I was?” You were raising your voice now.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Harry’s laugh was bitter.
“What is your problem?”
“My problem?” He pointed to himself. “My problem is you fucking invited me here with you and then you go off and flirt with some other guy! What the fuck is that?”
“Charlotte invited you.” The response was cold and Harry felt as though he was going to scream.
“No. You fucking invited me!”
“As a friend.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Why do you care so much anyway? Why do you care at all?”
“Because I fucking like you! God knows fucking why, but I do! But fine! You want to go and fuck someone else, I don’t care!
“Fine!” You yelled back.
The two of you stood there staring at one another for a moment before Harry ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fuck this.” He turned and pulled the door open, leaving you standing in the middle of the bathroom at a complete loss for words.
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You went back to the couch, hoping you would find Harry there but it was empty. Even Mitch had gone somewhere. Charlotte and Adam were still on the dance floor—and had seemed to make some friends and so you were left up there alone.
He needed to say it again. He needed to explain. It sounded like he said he liked you, as in had feelings for you but you needed to know more for it to be real, you needed him to clarify and confirm. There was a feeling in your gut telling you that you felt the same. You’d be lying if you said that hearing the words didn’t make you feel something—you just wished they were said in a different way, a different setting.
You needed to find him and figure all of this out.
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After ten minutes, but what felt like ages of searching for him, you found him. He was dancing with some girl near the middle of the floor. Rather, some girl was dancing on him. You watched as he leaned down and whispered something in her ear—then you saw him dip his face into her neck, the same way he had done to you earlier.
Your stomach turned.
You backed up right into someone’s chest. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” When you turned around, Sam was standing there. A drink in his hand and a worried look on his face.
“You never came back. Is everything okay?”
You tried to blink away the tears that were starting to form. “Uh, yeah, sorry. Something happened with my friends.” You held up your hands to him and patted him on the chest. “I just-sorry, I just need a second. I need some air.”
You brushed past him quickly, but instead of turning in the direction of the entrance, you went back towards the bathroom since it was closer and you felt the bile start to rise in your throat.
The straps of your heels were digging deep into your skin as you walked quickly towards the long hallway. Thankful when you saw no line, you tried to twist the knob of the first door but it was locked. So was the next one. The third one and the fourth. The fifth was locked—and so was the sixth. You leaned back against the ‘employees only’ door and took a deep breath. As soon as the third door opened, you rush towards it, nearly knocking over the guy who was exiting.
Once the door was locked behind you, you rushed to the sink and leaned your hands on either side of it. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You mumbled as the tears began to fall. Your stomach turned again, the nauseous feeling coming back full force.
You walked over to where the toilet was and stood leaning against the wall next to it, wanting to be prepared if you actually did end up throwing up.
This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. It was supposed to be fun, it was supposed to be a celebration. You and Harry were supposed to dance and have fun and be handsy and then go home and fuck. He wasn’t supposed to tell you he wished you were his and you weren’t supposed to want it just as badly. He wasn’t supposed to get mad at you for talking to some guy and he sure as shit wasn’t supposed to tell you he has feelings for you. He wasn’t supposed to be with another girl and you weren’t supposed to be crying in the bathroom, completely freaked out because you had feelings for him.
The admission made you almost gag, but it was true. You had been fighting it for so long but you had more-than-a-crush feelings for Harry. Feelings that went past what you felt for Nate in middle school. Feelings that went past anything you had for any of the guys you had every hooked up with or ‘dated’. Any relationship you had in the past only lasted a few months. It wasn’t that you were incapable of having feelings for people, because you were, and it wasn’t that you got bored of people easily, because you didn’t. It was that you just rarely let yourself feel them. It was always something you regretted after the relationship was over—and it was always something your friends admonished you for, but you couldn’t help it. You would fight the feelings tooth and nail until they felt too real and then you would back out and blow everything up.
You didn’t like the idea of doing that to Harry—he didn’t deserve it, but you couldn’t simply accept that this was how you felt and that it was normal and okay.
You were getting sick over fucking feelings. You were trying to fight them off in your head—but it made sense, didn’t it? You more than enjoyed spending time one on one with Harry, loved your time with him on Wednesday night, could kiss him for hours, missed the way he held you the next morning each time you spent the night together. He made you laugh and blush; he now respected your work and the kind of person you are. He made music you loved and was someone you found way more interesting than you thought you would. You had genuinely hated him, but now you liked in a way that was a million degrees past the kind of likeness that was reserved for friends.
You didn’t know what to do. Even if you wanted to talk to anyone about this, you couldn’t. Everyone was drunk, everyone was having fun, or trying to have fun—and you were alone. You were always alone; always having to pick up the pieces of yourself with no help from anyone else. You didn’t want to put this on Charlotte right now, you didn’t even want to bother Harry, not that he would let you. You needed to deal with this alone, the way you dealt with everything, never needing anyone’s help or wanting anyone else involved.
The need to feel better rooted itself deep in your gut, but you didn’t know how—but you needed to feel something other than the intense hurt and overwhelming want for Harry that was consuming you.
After deciding that you probably wouldn’t throw up and that a few deep breaths were ll you needed to cure your nausea, you walked back over to the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror. You breathed deeply, in and out, a few times as you swiped your fingers delicately under your eyes, making sure to remove any trace of tears. Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely successful; your mascara had clumped together, your liner was smudged slightly beneath your eyes, and the tear tracks were clear in your makeup under the bright bathroom lights. You took one more deep breath, smoothed down your dress and told yourself that you could fix this. You could feel better—with or without Harry.
On your way to find Sam, you purposefully walked right past Harry, but received no reaction. When you looked back to see if he has noticed you, his attention was on the girl in front of him, your existence seemingly easily forgotten.
Sam was at the corner of the bar, talking with his friend from earlier. “Hey, you came back!”
“I did!” Your smile took effort.
“I know you said you couldn’t earlier, that you had to stay with your friends, but…” He scratched the back of his neck. “You’re sure you don’t want to get a drink somewhere a bit quieter?”
His smile was warm and seemed gentle. He was by no means a bad looking guy. His hair was wavy and blonde, falling down on his shoulders. His eyes were blue and his lashes curled up in a way you wished yours did naturally. His jawline wasn’t as nice as Harry’s but still sharp and there was stubble along his jaw that suited him well. You could be attracted to him and maybe, if you were in a better mood you would be, but he wasn’t Harry. Not that it mattered anymore. You wanted to feel better and Harry didn’t seem to care about you anymore.
“Actually, I think I’d like that a lot.”
“Great, yeah. Cool.” You could tell he was elated—obviously not being able to sense that your demeanor had changed from your conversation at the bar. “Did you want to tell your friends you’re leaving? Then we’ll grab your coat?”
“No coat, but yeah. I’ll go tell my friends. You’ll be here?”
“Of course, I will.”
You weren’t sure if you liked how eager he was, how nice he was. You weren’t sure if you liked him at all but he seemed gentle enough and your birth control was in your bag and he most likely had a condom on him and you just needed to feel better.
After grabbing your bag from where it sat on the couch, you stood in front of it, surveying the floor in search of Charlotte, Adam, and Mitch. You pulled your phone out to send her a text and heard Harry’s voice behind you.
“Going somewhere?” The girl was with him and each had full drinks in their hands.
“He asked me to go home with him.” It most likely wasn’t a lie.
“Are you?”
You couldn’t read his face. “Maybe.”
“You should.”
“Yes. Really.”
“So now you don’t want me anymore?” You knew you were poking the bear. You wanted him to say the words again. You wanted confirmation that you hadn’t freaked out over nothing.
“Of course I fucking want you!” He took a step closer so he was only inches from you. You watched the girl back away and was happy to see her go. “But I’m not doing this shit with you anymore! You want me and then don’t. You hate me and then you’re sleeping over and wearing my clothes and you fucking invite me here because you want me and then you tell me that you might be going home with someone else?” He was pissed and hurt. “All you ever fucking do it play games. I’m tired of you being a bitch to me just because you can’t figure out what the fuck you want. So, look, I’ve figured it out for you, yeah? Fucking go. I don’t care anymore.”
It felt as if you had been smacked in the face. “Fine.” You brushed past him and made sure to forcefully knock your shoulder into his. You rushed quickly down the stairs and blinked back the tears that had returned. You were tired of this. All of it. You were tired of the club, tired of the night, tired of feeling that way, tired of Harry.
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Harry dropped his drink on the table and ran his hands over his face. He was pissed but also upset. He didn’t really want you to go, of course he didn’t, but he was angry and he was tired of all the back and forth with you and he was embarrassed about his admission in the bathroom—it wasn’t supposed to come until he was sure you felt the same way, until he knew for certain you wouldn’t hurt him, but of course you did. It’s all you had done since the two of you met.
Against his better judgement, he went after you. He grabbed his coat from the couch and hurried down the stairs and pushed through the crowd with his phone pressed to his ear, leaving a message for Mitch, letting him know that he left. Whether he stopped you or not, he wasn’t going back inside.
He took the stairs up to the entrance two at a time, telling himself over and over again that you would be out there, that you would understand that you had hurt him enough for one night. When he shoved open the door and stepped out into the cold November air, he didn’t see you there. He didn’t see the guy that was trying to take you. He was a group of girls getting into a cab and the two bouncers talking with their hands deep in their pockets.
He cursed under his breath and started texting his driver.
“Looking for me?”
Of course. Of course you were there, leaned against the outside of the building, lit cigarette dangling between your fingers. It looked as if the cold didn’t effect you, your arms legs, and chest completely bare, but Harry knew that is he got close to you, your teeth would be chattering and your skin would be covered in goosebumps—but you liked to look strong. It was something he was learning over and over again.
“I was, actually.” He said as he shrugged off his coat. “What happened? Thought you were leaving.”
You shrugged as you walked over to him and took a drag of your cigarette. “Not really my type, I guess.”
“That was cruel.”
“You were cruel.”
“No, I was honest.” Harry corrected as he draped his coat over your shoulders and plucked the burning stick from your fingers.
“Doesn’t make it any less hurtful.”
He put it out beneath his shoe before looking up at you. Your eyes were red and your makeup wasn’t as perfectly applied as it had been earlier. “Have you been crying?”
You stopped his hand as it went up to touch your cheek. “I really don’t want to be here anymore.”
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The whole ride to Harry’s your eyes burned. You were still freaking out—even more so after blowing off Sam. You made it all the way outside before you broke. He had the door to the cab open for you but you couldn’t step inside.
You didn’t want him at all and the idea of getting in that car with him made your stomach turn. The self hatred had started creeping its way in the second you turned away from Harry. The realization of your feelings hit you hard, harder than it should’ve and even though you were sure they had probably been there for some time, it was still a surprise. You didn’t have time to process them, didn’t have somewhere you could go and sit and talk it through, figure it all out for real.  
You were somewhere with no privacy, no sober friends, no stability, no comfort. Harry had been pissed at you, been with someone else, your heart was lurching, your mind was reeling and you were overwhelmed.
Once in the car, stuck under the crook of Harry’s arm, you still weren’t able to calm down. The silence of the ride sent your mind into overdrive. The same thoughts repeated over and over again in your mind: you had feelings for Harry. For a short time, you tried to convince yourself that maybe you actually didn’t. Maybe it was the alcohol that was trying to trick you, the simplistic jealously of seeing a man who you only ever saw as yours with someone else. Yours. That was the problem right there, wasn’t it? You had been thinking of Harry as someone that belonged to you when he never did, still didn’t, but it meant that all the time something had been there—feelings had been there and you were just too stubborn to see it.
Harry’s hand had been massaging your thigh the entire time you had been in the car, but he had also been silent, the two of you obviously lost in your own heads, thinking over the events of the night.
He helped you out of the car and held you close to him as he said goodnight to his driver before leading you up to the door. You reached up and kissed his neck as he turned his key into the lock and he sighed. His fingers fumbled to turn the knob as you continued to trace circles over his skin with your tongue, but when he finally got the door open, the first thing he did was push your body against its frame.
He kissed you hard before pulling away but keeping his forehead against yours. “We need to talk.”
He moved his head back when you tried to kiss him again. “Promise.”
“I promise.”
As soon as the words were out, his lips were back on yours. He walked you inside and managed to close the door despite you tugging on the collar of his shirt to pull him closer. His coat dropped from your shoulders and his left hand pushed under the hem of your dress so he could grab at your upper thigh just under your ass.
You could feel in the way he was kissing you and touching you that he wanted that night to be rough, which was exactly what you wanted. That night couldn’t be like Wednesday. It couldn’t feel soft, or passionate in the way where it felt as if he cared about you. You needed it to be hard, maybe a little fast, and you needed him to make it feel like he hated you again.
Harry groaned when you tugged harshly at the hair at the back of his head and pushed you back against the wall. He dipped his face into your neck and sucked hard at the skin. Your brow furrowed and you sighed before pushing him away slightly when the image of him doing the same to the girl at the club flashed through your mind.
He gave you a questioning look and you forced the thought away, pulling him back into you. You started working on the buttons of his shirt, wanting to slide your hands over his skin as soon as possible. When you tugged at his shirt a little roughly in order to get it untucked from his trousers, his hands moved to your wrists.
“Careful, it’s Gucci.”
“Do you fucking know how you sound, right now?” You mumbled.
He chuckled against your lips. “Right. Sorry.”
After undoing the last button. You pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, not satisfied until it dropped softly to the floor. As your fingertips trailed over his chest and you pushed your tongue into his mouth, Harry hiked up the skirt of your dress and grabbed roughly at your hips, forcing them into his.
You raked your nails down his chest and he hissed while moving his hands to grab your ass. He rolled his hips into your again and you cursed softly, feeling the warmth between your thighs deepen. Despite the emotional mess the night had been, your need for him had been building since you first saw him at Charlotte’s. You always wanted him when you were with him and often when you weren’t. He had somehow worked his way into every single part of your life: into your friendships, your work life, your love life. He was fucking everywhere and it wasn’t fair.
“I want to go upstairs.” You said as you gripped onto his jaw.
Without a word, he bent down and scooped you up from your knees. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he started moving towards the stairs.
“Harry, you’re going to drop me.” He ignored you. “H, you can’t. You’re not going to make it. Just put me down.”
“Would you shut up?” He kissed your neck. “Do you know how much I can lift?”
“Doo you know you sound like a cocky asshole?”
“Thought you liked that.”
You covered his smirk with a kiss and he moaned again as he took the last step.
Once you were in the bedroom, he dropped you on the bed and trailed openmouthed kisses down your neck and your chest as his hands pushed under your dress and his fingers dipped under the band of your nearly there thong. It was more of a g-string, really, but it was tasteful, delicate. The front was blush pink and lace and another small patch of lace sat at your back, while the fabric that connected both pieces was extremely thin and looked almost like ribbon.
He moved off you but stayed kneeling in front of you, eyes on your body as he ran his left hand down your leg before pulling your foot up towards him and undoing the tiny straps of your shoe. He kissed the inside of your ankle before setting it down and repeating the process with the other one. When he was done, you pushed yourself up so you were leaning back on your hands and kissed him.
“I want you in my mouth.” You whispered. What you really wanted was control. You felt as if you had lost all of it and desperately wanted it back.
“Fuck.” He sighed before placing his right hand on the back of your neck. Harry held you in a kiss as he leaned forward on his left hand, forcing you to lay back down, before he rolled the two of you over so that you were on top.
You rolled your hips into his once, twice. He bit your lip and whimpered. You pushed against his chest in order to separate your lips before moving down to the spot between his legs.
After he had hurriedly undone his pants and you pulled them off, you settled into one of your favorite positions: legs bent at the knees, ankles crossed in the air, your cheek resting on his thigh. You stroked him slowly and watched his eyes flutter shut before his head tipped back. He was trying not to buck himself into your hand and failing. He was trying to hold back, to give you the control you wanted, but it was obvious he was aching.
It pleased you to know that he had been feeling the same way about you the entire night, as much as you wished it didn’t. For a second, the intrusive thought entered that it wasn’t you who had turned him on, but the other girl—you forced it away. The jealousy was frustrating and unnecessary. Harry was yours. Wasn’t he? Didn’t he want to be? You hated yourself for how much you wanted it.
Harry’s hand went to your hair when you moved up to place his tip at the opening of your mouth. He was ready to do exactly what you wanted him to do. When he pushed you down to take in all of him, you squeezed your thighs together. He didn’t let himself hit the back of your throat, but he was close, and held you there for a second as a strangle groan left his lips.
“Fuck, (Y/N). Do it again.” He released the pressure on your head and let you come up. When you started to move back down, he pushed again and held you there. As you came back up, you sucked harder and made sure to swirl your tongue around his tip in the way you knew he liked.
He hit the back of your throat when you went back down without warning. Harry’s moans were strained as he gripped tightly onto you hair. You peeked up at him as you moved back to his tip; his chest was heaving slowly and his cheeks were pink. His grip on your hair tightened once more when he saw you looking and pushed you back down, hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag.
You released him quickly but held your mouth over him, letting the spit drip down his cock, fully aware that he was watching. His hips bucked slightly into nothing and you knew you had him. He would do whatever you said, whatever you wanted. All you had to do was ask—and it would be a big ask, especially since Harry didn’t exactly seem like the type.
You gave him one more; as you went down you sucked hard and gagged when he hit the back of your throat but didn’t move. You let him buck his hips into your mouth twice as he cursed loudly between pants and had to pull you off of him.
When he dropped his hand from your hair, you moved to stand on your knees. After he brushed his knuckles over the corner of your mouth and then your chin and he tried to calm down his breathing, you unzipped your dress at the side and then pulled it off up over your head.
You left your underwear on since there was no real fabric there to get in the way and nodded at him. “Sit up. All the way.”
Harry followed your commands as you crawled over to him. You placed your knees on either side of him and rested your forearms on his shoulders while his went to your ass. When he licked your nipple, you let your head fall back and moaned. He closed his lips around it and tugged at it with his teeth, causing you to inhale sharply, but you liked it.
When you felt his fingers touch your clit, you whimpered and he cursed before running them over your barely covered center.
“You’re so fucking wet.” He moved your panties over with ease and pushed one finger inside.
You shook your head and when you opened your eyes, saw this his were focused on your face. You grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. “I want more.” You breathed as you lifted his cock from where it rested underneath you and lined it up.
You sunk down and immediately started moving your hips back and forth. A choked groan came from Harry and he gripped tightly onto your hips. You felt good—you felt full.
Each time you rocked forward, you cursed softly from the friction on your clit. Your forehead landed on Harry’s, which was damp with sweat. A surprise since, so far, you had done all of the work.
His hands moved back to your ass so he could help you rock forward, getting to a spot you didn’t know you needed to hit. “Fuck, baby.” He whined.
Quickly, you dropped your head into his neck and covered his mouth with your left hand. “Don’t call me that. Just shut up.”
He moaned in response because he probably thought it was a game, that this was you trying to have fun, trying to push him, see how far he could go and what he would allow—but you were more than serious. You couldn’t hear him call you that right now, couldn’t deal with the butterflies you got when he said it. You didn’t want to be soft now—you didn’t want to have those feelings right then.
You rolled your hips with more pressure and kissed Harry’s neck as he groaned against your hand. The orgasm was building quickly and each time your clit rubbed against his skin, your chest heaved and the furrow in your brow deepened.
“Holy…fuck!” It was a strangled cry, and partially muffled by Harry’s neck. Your hand slipped from his mouth and landed on his jaw, where you squeezed, as you rode out your orgasm.
“Fucking hell…” The moan was slow and tense. When he felt your teeth sink into his neck, he wrapped his arms tightly around your body. “Fucking enough.” He lifted you as he pulled his legs under him and pushed the two of you forward. Your legs shifted and wrapped around his waist as you landed on your back against the mattress.
Harry gripped harshly onto your jaw and kissed you roughly before driving his hips into you. You smirked when you noticed he seemed angry. This was what you needed. You needed it to be like it used to be. Before all of this, the sex was angry and rough and devoid of anything that mattered. It was where you were comfortable.
He held himself up with his left hand and wrapped his right around your throat. You released a pleased hum when he applied some pressure.
“Like that?” You nodded. He dropped down and hovered his lips right over your ear. “Can you please just be good?”
“Fuck…” It was a drawn out whisper.
His grip around your throat tightened again. “I asked if you would be good.” His voice was stern in a way it had never been before, because you had taken more control than you ever had. You liked knowing that he didn’t one hundred percent like being the submissive one—you like the arguing, the demanding. It was what was natural between the two of you.
“Mhmm.” It was small since his hand around your throat wasn’t exactly allowing for full sentences.
“Words.” He lessened the pressure.
“I’ll be good.” It was a lie.
He moved back up so he was looking at you as he continued to thrust into you. His hips hit yours hard and you winced with every few thrusts. He shifted quickly so that he was no longer holding your neck, but so that your right leg was hooked over his arm, allowing him to push deeper. When he hit a particularly deep spot, your dug your nails into his sides at his ribcage and dragged them down.
“Fuck, careful, baby.” His eyes were on yours and his gaze was sweet. He was searching your expression for any trace of pain, anything that told him he had pushed too deep or hit a wrong spot. Harry was looking at you as though he cared for you—and you knew he did, but the whole point of tonight was to forget about that. You wanted to forget that he cared about you at all, it would make it easier to deal with your feelings later.
“You could hit me if you want.” Your voice was soft and strained as he continued to push into you. Your eyes flickered from his lip between his teeth, to his eyes, where confusion and hesitancy swam. “Maybe you should.”
“Babe, d-do you want me too?” He dragged his fingertips across your cheek.
You nodded and looked back down to his lips, which were red and swollen.
He grabbed your chin tight. “Look at me. I need you to say it or I can’t do it.”
“I want you to hit me.” Your voice was strong and you felt your stomach tighten at the idea of feeling his hand against your cheek. You had done this before—a lot with a guy you had been seeing a little less than a year ago. The two of you weren’t good for each other and often, your feelings were conflicted and anger bubbled constantly between you—this always made everything feel better. It made it feel like you had some control in the way you felt, in how he made you feel, and you liked the sting, the euphoria that came with the pulsing.
Harry brushed his fingers over your cheek again but pulling his hand back and making contact. You whimpered and he immediately looked concerned. He needed to stop.
“Not hard enough.” You said.
“Yeah? Harder?”
He hit you again and that time you felt the sting. Harry cursed as a loud moan spilled from your lips. Your nails dug into his sides.
“Again. Please.”
He was more confident now and it was harder than the last. “Fuck.” Your voice was thick and your head felt like it was floating but you felt good—you felt better.
“Holy shit, (Y/N). Harry said as he trailed his fingers down your warm cheek. You could feel how hot it was, but the sting was wearing off and you needed it again.
“One more.” Harry groaned. His hips were rolling sloppily against yours. “One more.”
The last one was the hardest and it made you cry out in both pain and pleasure while you scratched at his biceps. “Harry…” You whimpered as he dropped his body on top of yours. His hand gripped your jaw again and he held your face as his thrusts grew more and moe lazy.
“Fuck, I’m coming.” He sucked at your neck right before pulling out. He kept his face in the crook of your shoulder as he finished all over your folds, his tip brushing against your clit with every stroke.
When he was done, he rolled off of you and you immediately got up and went to his bathroom. You grabbed a small towel from the shelf and cleaned yourself up. Just as you finished, Harry appeared in the doorway.
“You okay?” When you turned to him, he walked forward and pulled you into his arms.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You could hear that your voice was hoarse, but it wasn’t from how rough the sex was, despite what Harry must’ve thought.
“You’re sure? We’ve never…done that before.”
You squeezed his sides so that he would release you. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m the one who asked for it, remember?”
He released you but held your face in his hands and carefully swiped his thumb over your still stinging cheek. “I know, love. I just wanted to make sure. Do you want water or something? A snack? I can get you something.” He could tell something was wrong and he wanted to help you feel better—and you wanted to feel better, but he was the reason you felt so awful.
“No, I’m okay. I’m just gonna get ready for bed. I’ll be out in a few minutes, okay?”
He nodded hesitantly and placed a delicate kiss to your lips. “Come to bed whenever your ready.”
Harry closed the door behind him and you locked it quickly. You went over to think and watched the tears slide down your face in the mirror. Your  skin burned—everywhere and the slapping only made you feel good for a fleeting moment.
Now, you were in the quiet. The people, the lights, the loud music was gone. You were the most sober you had been all night and your feelings for Harry weighed heavy in your stomach. You were sure if you fell into the river they would drown you.
You were struggling to fight these feelings for him and you weren’t even sure why you were fighting them. It was the part of yourself you never understood—the intense push to be alone. You didn’t want to be alone. You wanted someone to care for you and love you and you wanted to do that for them—but every time you got there, or as close as your brain would allow you to get, you blew it up. You got scared , terrified, and you ran. You always needed to be the one to leave, to ruin the other person—maybe that was the reason you decided to hate Harry so much in the beginning and why you understood him. Maybe you saw too much of yourself in him.
Everything felt as if it was moving to fast and your mind was doing somersaults and backflips trying to fight the intense gut feeling that you had feelings for Harry, that you could even fall in love with him. It rejected the whole notion, rejected him. It tried to remind you that you hated him, but the ache in your chest at the thought said otherwise. You felt a deep need for him and your mind tried to tell you it was a lie.
The tears continued to fall and your chest was getting tight. You flicked on the tap and tried to be quiet as you cried over the sink, not wanting Harry to hear any of it. You needed to get out of there. You needed to be alone. You couldn’t crawl into bed next to him feeling this way—it would be too much. You would shatter.
As the water ran, you calmed your breathing down and tried to pull it together. You wiped the tears from your cheeks and smoothed your hands over your hair.
You shut off the water and unlocked the door quietly. You shut off the bathroom light and pulled the door open slowly, confused when you saw that the bedroom lights were off.
When you took a tentative step into Harry’s room, you heard him snoring faintly and your whole body relaxed. You padded into the room quietly and picked up your dress from where it was on the floor at the foot of the bed and slipped it on as quietly as you could. Next was your shoes, which were a bitch to buckle in the dark, but you finally managed with a small sigh of relief. Sneaking out was easy since the bedroom door was still open and thankfully, Harry’s stairs were too new to creak. You tip-toed into the foyer and picked your bag up from the floor and pulling out your phone. Against you better judgement, you slipped on Harry’s coat and swore you would give it back tomorrow.
You slipped out the front door as quietly as you possibly could and then hurried down his driveway as you hailed an Uber. Once Sarah’s address was typed in, you pulled up your messages with Harry.
We’ll talk tomorrow. I promise.
923 notes · View notes
envirae · a year ago
ENHYPEN crushing on a tsundere reader!
genre: fluff, fluff, and fluff
pairing: enhypen hyung line x gn!reader
request: hehehehe can i request enhypen having a crush on a very standoffish/blunt bruh girl type of person (but she’s actually super sweet! it’s just a defence mechanism 🤚🏼🙄) and how they’d finally get together 😊 
warnings: lil bit of swearing, slight mention of death (in a playful way)
tagging: @youreverydayzebra @bloom-bloom-pow​
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lee heeseung
okay i feel like he’s a little more of the shy type
he saw you one day in class and just went :0
like he’s always known you but never noticed how pretty u were
he knows you don’t really let people in
so he doesn’t try to push you out of ur comfort zone or make u speak to him
but he does show silent affection!!
he’s def the type to just steal glances at you to make sure you’re okay
thinks he’s being so secretive 
spoiler: he isn’t
so one day you go up to him
“what the hell dude”
and he’s so confused
looks at you like 😶😶🤨
“i’ve seen u looking at me, what the hell”
he goes BEET RED
he’s like “how tf did they know”
literally panicking on the inside but he just sits there in front of u like 😃
you start to walk away but he grabs your arm
you just look at him like 😑😑
“spit it out”
the SMIRK on your face
“yeah sure whatever”
honestly u expected to just go on the date and ignore him after that
but like u actually had a lot of fun
and at the end he’s like “do you maybe wanna do this again sometime?”
“yeah, i’d like that” 
you’re both surprised at ur answer
but he just grins and walks away
leaving u at ur doorstep like 
😶😶 “did i just enjoy myself?”
rest of members under the cut !
park jay
he’s so cocky i SWEAR
he’s convinced everybody loves him
so when he meets u, and u dont even spare him a glance
he’s literally like the surprised pikachu face
so obviously u peaked his interest
and he had NO intention of falling for you at first
but then
he saw the way u move the hair out of your face when ur focused
and how u bite ur bottom lip slightly when ur confused
and now he’s all ❤o❤
so he goes to ask you out
“i’d literally rather study calculus for fun”
so now he’s 😥🥺😔
he keeps trying
for like MONTHS
“so when you gonna go out with me?”
you literally are just 😤
“if you go on a date with me” 😏😏
“if i go will you leave me alone”
“we’ll talk”
so you go on the stupid date
and here come the heart eyes again!!
he was SO confident
but seeing u here all dressed up
he gets so flustered
forgets EVERYTHING he was about to say
he thinks he failed the date and now you’ll never like him 😔😔
but the next day at school you go up to him
“when’s the next date, park?”
literally just goes 😍🥰💘💖❤💞
sim jake
he’s also kind of a shy one
a lot of people like him, but he isn’t cocky about it
you two got partnered up for a project
and you were just like O_O
“let’s get this over with, yeah?”
he’s pretty talkative, much to your dismay
he notices you listening to music and he’s like “i love that band!!”
and you just silently nod your head
but on the inside you’re like: 😊
he thinks you seem really cool but he doesn’t know how to ask you to hang out outside of school
at first you literally just wanted to finish this project and go
but one day you notice him get super quiet
“jake, is everything alright?”
he literally looks up at you and just goes
you’re so confused
you thought he was talking about the project so you were like
but then he goes
and then you’re both like 😳😳
“i guess that’d be alright”
jake:  😊😊😊
but after the project is finished, you guys stopped talking :(
you were kind of hurt and confused because u actually had fun with him
so you go up to him like “hey sim, let’s go on another date!”
and he’s literally so confused
he didn’t even know u considered the first time a real date
but he won’t complain
he holds your hand walking you home and he’s just on cloud nine 🤧🤧
park sunghoon
like heeseung, he’s known you forever
you were never talkative, and you kind of kept to yourself
you never liked him, he was kind of annoying LMAO
he was super cocky #2
and he never even thought about you that way until he overheard you say that you would rather die than go out with him
and he was just like ???
so he makes up a plan
to make you fall for him
he would like walk you to your classes and carry your books
but the first time he offers to do so, he just comes off really creepy
“please leave me alone, i’m uncomfortable”
he’s like “😶 what”
all the while his friends are just laughing at him
he’s stumped
nobody has ever not liked him
so he’s stumped :/
eventually gives into begging
“one date! that’s all!”
you’re literally just O_O
“you’ll enjoy yourself, i promise!”
you have to admit, its kind of amusing to see the park sunghoon begging for a date
“fine, i guess.”
literally ESTATIC
when he picks you up, hes still so excited you actually agreed
and then he notices how pretty you are
like  ❤_❤
after the date, you’re the one suggesting a second date
“that wasn’t bad, park. maybe we can do it again”
and before he can even respond you’re out the door
and he’s like...did they just...agree...on a second date???
kim sunoo
lord knows how he fell for you
but he just noticed you in class one day
and you’ve been on his mind since
he’s too shy to approach you though...
especially since you’re so hostile and standoffish to everyone else
one day you asked him for a pencil and he went SO RED
“sunoo, are you okay?”
on the outside: yeah, i’m fine
after that, he tried to talk to you a little more
“how are you, y/n?”
you’re a little confused because people don’t usually ask you that
“i’m fine, you?”
“good too.” 
these conversations eventually became normal
until you started to get comfortable around him
you even smiled at him !!
he almost passed out that day
you knew he liked you (who didn’t at this point??)
but u were sick of him not asking u out 😡😡
you liked him too, you weren’t gonna admit that though
“let’s go out sometime”
he literally thought he was dreaming
he just nodded his head profusely with a 😁😁look
he’s so cute please
yang jungwon
okay i feel like he’s really shy??
like he’s class president 
and he’s super popular
but when it comes to girls
a lot of girls like him, but you’ve stood out to him since like elementary 🤧
like sunoo though, wayy too scared to approach you
but one day he sees you coming out of the library, carrying a ton of books
immediately rushes to go help you
you kinda just nod at him and silently thank him
since then, he’s kind of made a habit of trying to help you when you’re in distress
be it asking to take your bag, carrying your books, giving you a drink
you don’t know why he’s been doing it 
and usually, you would tell anyone who does this to piss off
but u think it’s kind of cute so u let him stick around
until one day when you’re walking to class, he kind of just stops
“w- what?”
“do you wannagotoutwithme?”
you stand there like 🧍‍♀️
he’s literally like “WAIT REALLY”
he’s bouncing off the walls with excitement rn
you go on the date and it goes really well!!
what shocks him more is that you agree to go on a SECOND date
thinks he won the lottery fr fr
he told his mom about you im sure of it
nishimura riki
okay he is SO CUTE
unlike the others, he’s not as popular
ofc people have liked him, but he doesn’t really have experience with that
so one day you came into class and he was literally just 🤩🤩
you were kind of blunt, which he liked
and a lot of guys were after u but u didnt like any of them 
which discouraged him :(
he thought you wouldnt like him either
but he still wanted to show u affection!!
without making a fool of himself ^^
so he left notes in your locker!!
like little love letters just telling u how amazing u are <33
u were kind of embarrassed but thought it was sweet
he did this every day for like a few months
until one day you two are sitting next to each other in class
and you’re like “can i borrow your notes??”
“yeah sure”
he gives u his notebook but u stare at the page for a while
his handwriting looked really familiar
you take out one of the letters
low and behold its the same handwriting
u ignore it for now
but the next day you sit next to him you decide to be cheeky
“those love letters u left were really sweet”
he looks at you like 😶→😮 → 😧 → 😳 → 😖
“you- how did you-”
“let’s go out sometime”
you give him a small smile before walking out
he’s literally
SO confused
but also SO happy u didn’t reject him
gets all giddy and does a little victory dance once you walk out🤧🤧
283 notes · View notes
curiousfindings · a year ago
We are with you till the end of the line
Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan x Teen!Reader
[Warnings: Rape, Talk of sex, Swearing, OOC Chris for a bit, Arguing, Panic attacks, Hospitals]
!!This is pretty loaded so please don't read this if your not comfortable with the certain subjects, the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, if you need anyone to reach out to just pop me a quick message, I would never mind having a chat or you just ranting to me, i’m always there for u!!
You knew they wouldn't mind, they were like brothers after all, constantly looking out for you even in the most inconvenient of times. Yet the one time, they weren't there. Its not like you needed them, but you did and you always tried to convince yourself that you were a strong female figure but there was that part of you that turned completely towards the strong male figures you had in your life. Chris, Anthony and Sebastian.
Too elaborate, you first met the triplet when you were 15, you had auditioned for the role of the teenage heroine, Erin Kelsey, a young girl who proves her courage to The Avengers with her virtuosic karate skills. They loved you and you got the part much to your dismay. You were taken under the wing of Anthony Mackie straight away, he told you that he saw something in you. Scarlett was the first cast member you met though and she will always hold a special place in your heart as the girl who made you comfortable with the whole marvel cast.
Your character was introduced in Age of Ultron as a teenage Slovakian girl who had been spotted jumping from rooftop to rooftop, it was incredibly fun to film. Then in Civil War, your character developed massively which brought you closer to the men. Not only were they like big brothers to you but they gave you the best advice in life, anything you needed help with, they were there, 24/7. You had many talks and lectures about things you already knew about but they insisted they were older and knew what was best, they also said that they didnt want you doing stupid things like they used to do, whatever that is supposed to mean.
 They check up on you constantly, always asking you to message them when you get home, or back to your trailer, or the hair and makeup truck, the canteen, the toilet, anywhere they needed to know. It was their responsibility if anything happened to you, of course it wasn't actually but they made it so it was that way, knowing that you were young and needed that guidance. This was because when you started filming Civil War you were deemed old enough to do it all on your own, you were fending for yourself since you were turning 17 soon. 
You attended a college near by and went there twice a week, the rest of the time you did online school in-between takes and in breaks. Your time in college introduced you to a person, I know, cliche but they were really nice. Long story short, you two started dating, their name was Alex. Your grades dropped and you stopped seeing the three men due to the amount of time you were spending with Alex but spending time with Alex was like second nature but not to your will, they told you that you had to see them everyday and call them whenever you got the chance, this was controlling if you had ever seen it. 
You had plenty of time to tell them about Chris, Sebastian and Anthony and soon they had enough of you talking so highly about them and got jealous, this is when they started making advances on you, also against your will. They would start to touch you and when you would say no they would continue, you threatened to leave them but they made even bigger threats, to tell Chris, Seb and Mackie that you didn’t need them anymore, they went into detail about what they would tell them, it was graphic, things that you were doing whilst you were supposed to be hanging out with them, sexual acts...
They of course, didn't know about your partner and this was for a reason, you know they would be against the idea and you defiantly couldn't risk anything but they were adamant of working out why you were so absent.
“Can we all agree that Y/n has been distant lately?” Sebastian spoke after walking into the hair and makeup trailer to find Anthony and Chris being dolled up.
Anthony sighed, straight away knowing what he meant. 
“I know man, its like she doesn't love us anymore,” He fake pouted which made Chris laugh. “Seriously though, do you know where she’s been?” 
Both men stayed quiet. 
“Every time I ask her where she is going she just says ‘out’” Sebastian adds with a shrug. 
“And she never messages us updates anymore, it worries me frankly,” Chris frowns at the thought. 
“She told me she went to the park to do some homework without distractions and came back with a new hoodie and a massive smile on her face” Anthony furrows his brows. “Like, how does that make sense? Why would you be that happy after doing homework?” He flared his harms around and huffs.
“But around us her mood has changed, have you noticed she's been so distant and cold to us?” Sebastian added.
The silence is broken by the makeup lady sniggering which immediately turned all other heads in the room. 
“Whatchu laughing at lady?” Anthonys face was pure confusion, how could this matter be funny and as for Chris and Sebastian, their faces were a mix between caution and anger. 
“Sounds like Y/n might have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” She stated plainly, not even looking up from Sebastians roots. 
A short impetuous laugh came from Anthony’s throat in disbelief. 
“Isn't it obvious? She wants to hide it from you guys” All men froze at this statement with heads overflowing with thoughts that questioned the lady. Why would she feel she had to hide it from us? Why wouldn't she tell us? Why does she have to hide it from us? That last question threw the men into gear.
“We need to ask her,” Chris finally spoke up. “If this is true, we need to see whats happening,” Chris was worried, he had a bad feeling. He stood up and left the makeup chair abruptly. All you could hear were the sound of rushed movements onto of the stoned floor outside getting quieter and quieter. 
“I don’t meant to worry you guys,” The lady spoke up, now not touching Sebastian. 
“No, i’m glad you said something, it makes sense now really,” Anthony said apathetically, the feeling of worry bites at his toes, he wanted to run to you.
Chris got to you first, bursting the door of your trailer open in a panting mess in full Cap uniform.
“Woah okay, erm, can I call you back later I think somethings wrong,” You say down the phone as you stand up to approach Chris.
“I will call you back later, I promise,” You console your adamant person and bid your goodbyes. 
As soon as the call ends Chris is jumping down your throat, leaving you no room to question. 
“Who was that?” He stares at you intently, still trying to catch his breath.
“Just a friend, it was Katie,” You can change your answer, hoping this one would be more convincing. “Why whats wrong?” Chris’s features changed, he placed his hand on his hip and cocked his eyebrows as if to question your answer. 
“What?” You ask him, confusion fully lacing your voice. 
“Y/n, I really hope you aren't lying to me,” His voice now evident with slight anger and dominance. 
“Chris, what are you getting at,” You retaliate, who is he to question who you were on the phone too, you couldn't tell him anyway.
“Let me see your phone.” No question about it, he held his hand out and demanded. “Give me your phone Y/n” To say you were shocked was an understatement. Your face swelled with worry, worry that he might find out but you decided to mask it with anger.
“Chris, what the fuck?” You narrowed your eyebrows and Chris just raised his as if you were his child that was in trouble.
“I want to see who you last called,” His hand never once moved, you on the other hand were shaking, you had never seen Chris like this, never angry nor disappointed. Its not even like you could say it was a boy friend back home because you had already told Chris it was Katie.
“Its really none of your business who i’ve been calling,” Your mood had changed significantly since the phone call.
Chris’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared, he was angry. “Your lying.” He plainly stated.
“And your being irate, you obviously don’t trust me!” You flared your arms around in expression, trying to cover up anything and everything which made you angrier and angrier.
“Im only looking out for you, you know this but I cant do that if you dont tell me the truth, your only-”
“Yes, I know, im only 16 and dont know half of whats to come yet, I know im young Chris, you tell me all the time but just because im young doesn't mean I dont get my freedom and just because im young defiantly doesn't mean you get to boss me around because guess what Chris, your not my dad!” You knew it hurt him, due to an absent father you had told the men that they were like father figures to you and they took pride in that. He was taken aback by your sudden outburst and wondered how long you had been holding that in but he couldn't help what came out of his mouth next.
“Don’t ever come to me for anything again because I won't be there to help you,” This was so out of character for Chris it knocked the wind out of you, you felt like you could be sick. Tears welled in your eyes, you grabbed your keys and sprinted out of your trailer before he could see you break. 
“Y/n!” Called a familiar voice, it was Anthony. 
You stopped in your tracks and wiped your eyes before turning where you were confronted with two worried faces, not them as well. 
“Did Chris speak to you?” Your heart sunk, did they think the same thing, you wanted to save yourself the embarrassment.
“Im going out,” You said plainly, holding back more tears. 
“No you're not, we need to speak to you,” Anthony demanded again. You snapped before you could even think.
“You don’t control me! Not you! Not Sebastian and defiantly not Chris! I dont need you!” You let the tears fall, you felt like you were being dramatic but frankly you were sick of their controlling behaviour and Chris made it perfectly clear how he felt. Sadly you didnt actually feel this way, it was just what Alex had planted in your head and you couldn't risk him getting exposed otherwise you would be fucked.
“Y/n what happened?” Sebastian inched closer as you broke down.
“Y/n!” Chris called from the distance and before you could muster any sort of courage to be confronted by all three me, you ran.
“Im going out!” That dull phrase that fell from your lips every day with so much mystery behind it.
“Will you stop talking about them fucking men,” Alex seethes after just 5 minutes of you ranting, you're in an angry mood already so you snap at them.
“Alex i’m really fucking struggling right not and I would love some comfort from my significant other!” And before you know it your pinned underneath them.
“I think you forgot who you're talking to,” Alex hovered over you with your arms pinned above your head, you thrashed but they were stronger.
“Remember our little agreement sweetheart,” The pet name made your eyes clench shut and your body tense up, the dreaded nickname that was supposed to make you feel loved but made you feel on edge more than anything.
Then Alex done the unspeakable, something you thought was an empty threat, you never thought they would go there.
“You dare protest and see what happens,” Alex spat in your face as they violated all of your comfort zones and boundaries. They left you speechless, ashamed, and defiled. 
You got in your car and drove, you didn’t know where, you couldn’t think straight. It was defiantly dangerous for you to drive but there was no way you were staying with them. The wheels took you back to set and your heart ached for your three men, you knew they wouldn't mind yet you couldn't bring yourself to tell them nor did you think they would care to know, they made it that clear. You ran to your trailer and jumped in the shower straight away, washing any evidence and remaining touches off your body, you looked down and discovered the marks of the abuser littered all over your shoulders, thumb marks shared along your pelvis and in between your thighs. You scrubbed and scrubbed but they wouldn't go away, only leaving a singing red hue on the surface, the rest were deeper, they penetrated your soul, no amount of scrubbing could remove those. Little did you know, Chris saw you running back to your trailer late last night but he left you alone, thinking you needed some time.
The next morning you felt the reminace of the abuse, you were supposed to be well rested since your day off yesterday yet you felt worse the you ever had but you wore a brave face and worried about the interactions between you and Chris, Seb and Anthony. Weak is how you felt, not knowing how the day would treat you.
You stepped out of your trailer with a grimace and a sharp ache in-between your legs. Normally Chris, Anthony and sometimes Sebastian would usher you from your trailer to set, you felt truly and utterly alone.
“Morning Y/n,” You took a sharp turn to see Scarlett heading straight in your direction. “No Chris this morning?” She asked with a frown. 
You didn’t know how to speak, you didn't know if you could, your mind still swarming with, well, everything.
She hugged you quite roughly and you yelped out in pain with the sudden movement and pressure, she backed away immediately. 
“Hey.. whats wrong kiddo?” She asked, worry evident on her face.
Quick Y/n, come up with something.
“Just my period, its quite painful today,” You covered that up quick and it was believable, you were surprised how you hadn't burst into tears yet, you didn't know how you were going to survive the whole day.
“I have some pain killers?” She offered with a sympathetic smile.
All you did was nod.
You walked to set with a slight limp and that didn't go unnoticed by the directors.
“You good Y/n?” Joe asked.
Scarlett just whispered in his ear and you already knew what she had said.
“We will go easy on you today.” He joked with a wink, normally you would find his teasing funny but all you felt was this pit of dread.
You trekked to wardrobe to get into your costume of the day; still with no sight of Anthony, Chris or Sebastian, you knew they were filming today because it was a fight scene... a fight scene which you had to do with Anthony... Luckily your costume covered all of your bruises, the only thing now was getting them past the wardrobe lady.
“Get naked my lovely,” The wardrobe lady joked. Yet again, no expression from you. “Are you okay?” She edged closer. 
“Yes, i’m fine thank you,” You sent her a small smile.
“Come on then, we need to get you dressed” You just stripped your top, not even caring if she saw, you would only explain if she asked. All there was, was a gasp from her side. “Lovely...” 
“I was with my partner yesterday, thats all,” You added as she helped you adjust your new layer of skin. “Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t need them teasing me about it,” You said with a small chuckle, it was getting easier.
You had greeted Anthony, Seb and Chris when you saw them, they said sorry and you said sorry back, the last thing you wanted to do was argue today. They had to go and get their hair and makeup done since they were a little late onto set.
Sebastian and Anthony were in the wardrobe truck while Chris got his hair done.
“She still seems different, I cant place my finger on it,” Anthony queried.
“Well I believe what Jo said in the makeup truck, I feel like she has a secret boyfriend,” Seb spoke back.
“Im just worried Seabass... she’s never been like this,” Before Sebastian could answer, the costume lady did.
“Are we talking about Y/n boys?” She questioned. 
“Yes, do you know something?” Anthony was begging for any information he could get his hands on.
“She told me not to say anything but when she took her shirt off she had marks all over her shoulders, told me she was with a partner,” Anthony sighed and there his head back.
“See, this is what I didn't want happening, its fine that she’s having sex but I just hope its safe,” Anthony was just disappointed that you wouldn't tell him something like this, he thought you trusted him.
“I don't mean to worry you...” That same phrase. “But those marks weren't love bites, they were proper bruises,” 
Sebastian and Anthony share a look of worry.
“I mean, I've had my far share of sexual partners and the only way those bruises could be that dark was if her partner was being rough, they had to be pretty recent as well.” She said nonchalantly.
There were two thoughts swimming through Anthony and Sebastian heads. Someone was being abusive or you liked rough sex and to be honest, they would have preferred the latter.
The actually acting part was going well - I mean, you got paid to do it- but when the the stunts started, thats the you felt the full effects. Your character was a master at karate so the moves were pretty intense, you hadn't warmed up either with the worry that it was going to hurt to much. You were right, it hurt tenfold when you started fighting with Anthony, you could deal with the pain but when you got thrown over Anthonys shoulder, it was endgame. A shrill sounded from the back of your throat and Anthony dropped you immediately. You doubled over with the pain and grasped your lower stomach, you felt like you would be sick.
“Y/n what's wrong?” Anthony Russo questioned. 
Scarlett came running over and knelt beside you. 
“Oh sweetheart,” At the sound of the nickname you burst into tears. Everything was getting too overwhelming. A couple seconds past, you didn't know if anyone was saying anything, you couldn't focus on anything at the moment. “Y/n?” Scarlett questioned. At this point you had a whole crown surrounding you, you couldn't break down, not here, not now. 
“Im fine, just woman issues,”You sniffled and pointed to your stomach and peoples faces dropped and a few laughs were shared. 
“Ill go easy on you,” Anthony joked and you sniffed a bit so you could get ready for the fight scene again. He could tell something was wrong, he was going to confront you when this scene was over.
It all played out fine until Anthony had to use you as a suspension tool, he put his hands on your shoulders and put all his weight onto you. He dug his fingers right into the bruises on your shoulders.
“Fuck!” You screamed out in immense pain, a couple tears fell down your cheeks. 
“Y/n whats going on?” Anthony Russo asked.
“I just need a quick break please.” You begged as more tears threatened to fall.
“20 minute break everyone!” The Russo brothers called.
“Y/n!” Mackie called but you were long gone, already half way to your trailer.
“We need to go talk to her,” Sebastian told Mackie, they both had the same idea as they sprinted after you.
When you got to your trailer, the tears didn't stop, you sank down next to the door and just sobbed, it was an ugly, loud, desperate cry and you wish all this internal and external pain would just vanish.
“Y/n!” Anthony burst through the doors, throwing all caution to the wind.
“No!!” You shouted out but it was too late, Anthony and Sebastian were standing in-front of you, in your trailer, eyes wide with worry.
“Y/n please,” Anthony kneeled next to you. You just buried your head in his neck and sobbed. “Shhh, shhh its okay,” He stroked the back of your hair as you uncontrollably relieved your heart. “Breath Y/n breath,” Sebastian got on his knees and stroked your arm. Your breathing now becoming erratic. “Y/n breath,” Anthony had a look of complete worry.
He grasped your upper arms and made you look at him. “Y/n you need to breath, focus on me okay?” You nodded as your chin trembled. He had never seen you like this before. “Breath in,” You tried. “Breath out,” You tried again. You continued that until your breathing was under control.
For a second Anthony just stared at you.
“What happened girl?” You just shook your head. To test the waters Anthony put his hand on your shoulder will little force and you shouted from the pain. “Please don’t.” You squeaked, your throat raw from crying. There was an unspoken agreement, Anthony grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. The look on their faces would be ingrained in your mind for a long time yet to come. Yet again you just burst out crying. Anthony waved his hands around and Sebastian was gone and Anthony was just cradling you, he was crying into your hair. “Why wouldn't you tell me,”
Thats the last thing you heard before sleep consumed you. 
You woke up to a foreign view and a foreign smell. You knew where you were instantly. You sat up and winced, your pelvis ached each time your moved. The first thing you saw was Chris, sitting there with this hands covering his mouth like he was thinking, leg bouncing up and down and just starting at you with sorrowful eyes. As soon as you locked eyes with him, you broke down again, this time is was Chris’s turn to cradle you. “Shhhh, I promise its going to be okay,” He cooed. “Im so sorry,” was all you could coo back. “Don’t speak.” He said.
You and Chris stayed like that until Sebastian and Anthony showed up, you instantly felt safe, you missed how this felt. 
“Im so sorry.” Was all you could say, your mind couldn't think of anything else for once, just how sorry you were. All three men had tears in their eyes. All three men were there to support you, they weren’t going to shout or be angry, they cared.
“We love you so much.” Anthony said with a hand on your knee.
It took you a good 30 minuted to muster up the courage to tell them what happened.
They all sat and listened contently about how you met Alex.
“Then stuff started getting serious, they would... touch me without my consent,” You said.
“Did you say no?” Chris asked. 
You nodded. “They said they would tell you all bad things about me if I didn't comply,” You answered. The group sighed.
“Thats why you were so distant,” Seb said. 
You nodded again. “They didn't want me to be close to you guys.”
Seb put his hand on your knee and rubbed.
“The yesterday, after we had the argument, I went to their house and thats when they fully, you know,” You couldn't hold back. You put your hands up to your face and sobbed again. “We know, we know, you dont have too say it,” Sebastian rubbed your back.
“Y/n” Chris said, you looked up at him. He was fully sobbing also. “I love you so much and I am so sorry for everything that I said, I didn't mean any of it I promise,” You nodded. “Neither did I, I love all you guys, im so fucking sorry,” You sobbed some more.
After you talked some more, the boys decided it would be the right idea to take you to the hospital, just incase.
“The X-Ray shows a broken collar bone,” The doctor admitted. All three men sighed and Anthony muttered a little ‘oh gosh’. “Im so sorry Y/n,” The doctor was extremely empathetic. “We will just have to put it in a sling for a week or two and no extra circular for at least three,” 
“Three weeks!!” You exclaimed, “I cant not work for three weeks!! We have shooting.” You explained. 
“Y/n, its fine,” Chris explained. “The Russo’s will understand.” You just leant your head back against the hospital bed. “Can we go now, hospitals make me uneasy.” The boys were slightly more happy that you were getting more verbal again. 
“With your consent, we would like to do a rape kit, just to see if there is any damage internally.” You nodded your head slowly.
The exam was uncomfortable, your whole body was tense and rigid. 
“Its okay darling, relax.” The lady was so lovely and she made you feel at ease for a bit but the impending thought was about what was happening to Alex.
“Okay its all done darling, would you like your guardians to come in whilst I tell you the results so they can hear it too?” You nodded.
The men got ushered in and they stood by your side, hands on your upper arms. 
“So there wasn't any internal damage but there is alot of tissue and a bit of muscle damage and some dark bruising both on the pelvis and inner and outer thighs,” You nodded. “That will take some time to heal and might get a bit painful so we will give you some pain killers for that and some cream for the bruises,” She gave you a sweet smile. 
“You did so well, “ Chris cooed as he stroked your hair. You nodded at him.
“Watch thinking about girl,” Anthony butted in.
You took a breath and spilled. “Its just Alex, whats going to happen to them,” You worried.
“They are going to get what they deserve, thats what.” Sebastian butted in.
You nodded and started to tear up. 
“Y/n” Chris said and you looked up at him.
“We are with you till the end of the line.”
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