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j-minte08 · 3 years

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Why do I award BalanWonderworld as a masterpiece?

Introduction

⚠️I'm using a translator, so I apologize if any parts are difficult to read.

In this article, I will write about why I award Balan Wonderworld as a masterpiece, with answers to criticisms.

When I played the demo version, I thought this game was SO BAD. But I believed Yuji Naka and bought the full version. (Before I knew it, I had bought four of them...) I'm not raving blindly about it.

At first, I was hopelessly disappointed because nothing had changed from the demo version. However, in chapters 2 and 3, I was impressed by the three-dimensionality and beauty of the stages, and in chapter 4, I realized the comfort of gaining freedom through the acquisition of costumes.

By the time I was completely finished, I was convinced that this game was a great piece of work.

This is an article that I wrote after spending nearly 100 hours on this game.

I hope you will read it.

Main part

First of all, this game is not a game with flashy action as its primary objective. (Flashy battle action is possible in some scenes.)

【Puzzle】　【RPG】　【Exploration】

It is structured around these three main components.

The game also features a "Balance AI" that senses the player's movements and makes changes to the difficulty and world. There is also a presentation of my own work, so please take a look!

Please read with the above in mind.

■ One button action is stressful.

▶︎ As mentioned earlier, this game is not intended for flashy action. At its root, it is an RPG and does not require multiple buttons. The reason it's a simple operation is because it doesn't need to be.

There is only one button, but instead the player is given the freedom to select up to three actions of their choice. The way to play Balan is to find your own strategy within these constraints.

Some people point out that you can't jump, but only a few outfits limit jumping. Most of them are attack-oriented outfits. It's up to you to decide whether you want more attack power or more movement power.

If you're still not convinced, this game just isn't to your liking.(If that's you, I recommend the Wii version of Rodea.)

NiGHTS and Sonic are also action games with simple controls, but the concept is different from Baran, as explained below.

From the very beginning, NiGHTS and Sonic are one-button games that allow for exhilarating action. The action feels good and allows for improvement through trial and error.

However, Balan begins in a state of helplessness. One of his goals is to use his wits and eventually gain the power to run freely around the three-dimensional stage.

Freedom from discomfort. This catharsis is the best part of Balan.

It is also linked to the story's theme of opening closed minds.

■ The structure of the puzzle is sketchy.

▶︎ There is an intention behind this. By making the puzzle structure more flexible, the player is given more choices.

Therefore, each player will have a completely different solution to obtaining a single statue.

Also, each time you play the game, you will find new strategies, making it a game that can be played repeatedly.

This is the reason why Yuji Naka was so confident about this game.

Personally, I think that this action with a puzzle concept has a similar point of view to card games and rock-paper-scissors.

The Mega Man series is a typical example of a game that requires you to observe the situation and your opponent's movements to find the right technique and move. In fact, there is a famous episode where it was derived from rock-paper-scissors. This is also a game where you can enjoy improving through trial and error, but I think the structure of the rules is similar to that of Balan.

■ It's a pain to stock up on costumes.

▶︎ There is no need to overstock costumes. The minimum number of costumes needed to clear the course will naturally be available. Dependence on certain costumes can make the game monotonous. Also, the BalanceAI can sense your movements and take countermeasures.

As the difficulty level increases, you will have a hard time because the costumes will not come back.

The game is made more interesting by the style of play that allows you to use all the costumes to their fullest extent and bring out the true value of each one.

If you run out, explore the stage while collecting costumes. It may lead to new discoveries.

Even if you don't have a specific costume, there are many situations you can get through by applying other costumes.

This degree of freedom is what makes Balan so interesting. The strategy is left to your imagination.

■ The stage is curved. Isn't this a useless design?

▶︎ The curvature of the map allows you to see every corner of the stage. You may be confused because there is no other game that tries to do something like this. However, this is an ideal map for exploration games.

The basics of this gimmick are used as of chapter 1. Chapter 7, which has particularly large differences in elevation, makes good use of this gimmick.

■ The difficulty level is too low.

▶︎ Basics → Application → Review (Boss battle)

This game is designed to follow the above flow thoroughly. As a result, the difficulty level in the early stages is kept low, but the endgame is quite difficult. I almost lost my mind in chapter 12.

The bosses are easy to defeat. However, it is difficult to conquer all three strategy patterns.

Also, if you keep defeating enemies quickly without taking damage, the difficulty level will increase.Stronger and faster enemies will appear in large numbers.I found the difficulty level increased at chapter 3.

In other words, the difficulty of the game depends on how good you are.

■ I want to have a HP separate from my costume.

▶︎ This system prompts the player to use a different costume in case of failure.

Depending on the situation, you can either sacrifice valuable costumes, or use inconvenient but well-stocked costumes... The game throws a variety of choices at the player. This gameplay becomes more apparent as the difficulty level increases.

If you separate the HP from the costume, this tense gameplay will be lost.

The system of choosing outfits based on what will happen next fosters the ability to think and survive on one's own. It will also help the child's ego independence.

■ I need more explanations and hints. It's designed in an unfriendly way.

▶︎ It's not a game that requires you to do anything difficult, so if you think about it, you should be able to understand it to some extent. All you have to do is immerse yourself in collecting statues by any route you can think of.

Some people criticize Balan for being old-fashioned, but they are missing the point.

Games are essentially content that teaches you to think and act for yourself. This is a posting of what games should be, and a refreshing return to the basics.

However, I don't mean to criticize modern games. The immersive feeling of being in a movie, and the friendly design of the UI that shows you where you are going so you don't get lost. I think it's a beautiful evolution for today's hectic world where it's hard to find time to be alone.

However, to be honest, it is abnormal to say that only works that follow the latest trends are evaluated, and it is difficult to say that there is creativity in such works. Evolving technology and the presence or absence of originality have completely different meanings.

I would like to say that games like Balan, which have their own rules and think for themselves, are what we need today.

■ I don't understand the story. I want subtitles.

▶︎ With both video and dubbing, the amount of information is extremely high. By not using real words, all the people in the world have the exact same experience. Very romantic, don't you think?

It's not to dismiss the unspoken parts as non-existent, but to let your imagination run wild and have fun with it.

Since ancient times, there has been an aesthetic in Asia that finds meaning in blank spaces.

If you want a more substantial story, I recommend the novel version, which probably has what you want. It is available for Kindle.

At the end

Balan Wonderworld is a game designed to grow with the player the more time they spend playing.

Despite its gorgeous visuals, the reality of the story is deep and Yuji Naka's philosophy shines through, making it a masterpiece that can be called a compilation of his work.

At first, you may find some scenes difficult or the system annoying. However, they all have a meaning and will make sense as you continue to play.

Balan is built on a very complete system.

EVERY MOMENT IS AN ADVENTURE... This tagline is true.

But the fact is that Balan is a very peaky game. But that's also true for Sonic and NiGHTS.

If you have enjoyed Yuji Naka's past works, you will surely understand the quality of Balan. I recommend that you take the time to face this game first without any preconceived notions.

Now that I've spoken highly of Balan, I'd like to offer some criticism of the official advertising.

I think the main reason for this failure was the poor choice of stages included in the demo version, which made it difficult to convey the fun of expanding the degree of freedom by acquiring costumes, the sense of freedom, and the fun of being able to create a number of unique strategies.

As for the official SNS, rather than introducing the costumes and the storyline by themselves, the official should have done a better job of showing how they are all connected to make this game interesting.

That's how it looked from my personal point of view, but I believe that the current situation is the result of continuous failures in the area of advertising.

I'm so disappointed that this masterpiece is being buried, and I hope that the officials will have the guts to turn its reputation upside down even now.

Hopefully, this game will get the recognition it deserves. I love Balan Wonderworld.

#balan wonderworld #game #square enix #game review #yuji naka #naoto oshima #バランワンダーワールド #playstation #bww #nights #nights into dreams #sonic #sonic the hedgehog

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liathgray · 3 years

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ok ok ok ok ok its writnon whats up so i'm trying out your beats and so. you know how in the second act there are "pinch" beats and then the midpoint/crisis beats, right???? So. can i just go apeshit on the pinch beats like i could do 2 pinchs, midpoint, pinch pt3, then crisis and that should be fine, right????? i just gotta lead up to it properly right??????? or are beats supposed to be followed like to the t???? like i think this is fine ill just gotta lead into everything properly right???

it has just occured to me that that ask was v frantic and i just wanted to say it's fine everything's ok there isn't a time limit i just got like. over excited alkdsfjaklsd sorry sorry i love you please answer at your own schedule it's ok - writnon <33333

also so like. when you do spreadsheets, right? what do you put on each axis? Like i just ended up going with what beat it was on the top line and then on the side i put: The Point, Plot - What happens?, Story - Why it matters, Effect - Ends half way thru, Consequence in scene, Realization - In scene, And so? What happens next?, for my up and down axis. honestly i forgot where i learned all that but its been stuck on an index card on my wall for like a year so alskdfjlkj - writnon

sorry ik im sending 50mil asks (its writnon) but uhm i was staring at the index card on the wall and actually "effect - ends half way thru" was actually a broad category of sorts (the index card's split into cause/effect and i just. couldn't see the cause) alkjdflksd just thought youd like to know oof <33333

OH HI ANON!! okay this is a lot of questions at once so I will try to stay On Topic and in order

Beats: You don’t have to follow it to a t! A beat sheet is not only subject to change after being written, but also meant to be like a guide or blueprint.

You can do as many or as few pinch beats as you want so long as it leads into the midpoint/ crisis! Whatever works best for the story you are trying to tell, and whatever is most in line with your pacing. Don’t let the guidelines restrain you, they are, after all, just guides.

Spreadsheet: Okay so sometimes this varies, and again you can change it to suit your needs, but usually it’s like... the y-axis has the when* and the x-axis has the what (ex: a motif, a theme etc.)

*What I mean by the when is.. I don’t really uh... divide my stories into chapters. I usually go by some version of a three act structure, and then divide each act into three to five (depending on length/ pacing) on my spreadsheet. The y-axis will be everything that happens in act 1 part A, and then goes down the line with whatever is being introduced.

The actual spots being filled in can be as minimal or detailed as you want, but thats where the events go. That’s where I have the introduction of idea -> why it matters -> how its expressed -> any coinciding motifs or characters.

You don’t how to use spreadsheets the way I use them though!! The reason I do them the way I do it because the main function is to keep track of what is happening when and why it matters to the overall story. It’s like a timeline.

This took me a hot minute to answer but I hope this makes sense! If there’s anything else you’re confused about or that I didn’t explain very well you know you’re welcome to shoot me another ask whenever! I love u <3

#if you want I can whip up an example if this is not making sense #sometimes thing make sense to me but it sounds like gibberish when I try to say it lmao #writing anon #anon #writing advice #I need a tag for asks so bam

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flying-elliska · 4 years

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As I've been bed-bound due to medical stuff, I've been rereading Les diamants to pass the time (very good distraction lol). Going through it, I've been enjoying the many elements of foreshadowing and moments that hit so much harder, which is a testament to how well this is written. So, I'm really curious about your process when you began introducing elements of the main lore/plot in the early chapters! (1/2)

(2/2) Like, was there an idea of where you were going and how you wanted to connect back later, or did you sort of just go with the flow and figure out where it was leading later on? Hope this makes sense. I'm kind of a wannabe writer but I get so stuck about not having a full fledged idea of what to do, so I'm always curious about other writers' processes. I also so look forward to your next installment! 💜💜

Oh I love this question !

My writing process for Diamants really is ‘organized chaos’. I wrote the first two chapters kind of on a whim. After that, I created a board with post-its. At the start I had planned for a much more cartoony plot, with a doomsday laser machine actionned only by the stolen diamonds ala James Bond from the 80s nonsense, but as the family drama started becoming serious, I realized it wouldn’t fit so I started thinking about something a bit more dramatic and dignified while still giving me that operatic over the top spy movie vibe. The plot has completely changed since that initial board but the character beats - Eliott slowly falling for Lucas and dipping his toes into the criminal underworld, the escape, the flight, etc, are globally the same. If you have an idea of those big tensions you need, I feel like the plot points will fill themselves in, and as you start building your world more and more, you will have a better intuition of what ‘makes sense’.

So really, for me, the emotional arc is what leads the way, and I fill in the plot regarding what I need. In the case of the Shadow I started with this idea of a rivalry between Lucas and Eliott’s families that they would turn around, then it became more complicated ; there was an element of class disparities and hierarchy and the fact that their two fathers represent things they both want to reject, brute violence and manipulative structural power ; Armand and his secret society stuff as a representative of this more polished sort of power, a sort of ‘gentleman of crime’ connected to old hierarchies of power, while Jacques is more of a low tier gangster, and then the feuding families ; Vallès came in as a sort of ‘mid-tier’ boss and then his place grew and he became this sort of dark Gandalf (lmao) as a subversion of the ‘wise old wizard that teaches the hero what he needs’ because the story is about subverting The Patriarch as an archetype, so he’s powerful but also repeatedly powerless and sort of tragic ; etc. When I got stuck, it’s because I was lacking clarity about what I wanted my plot to achieve for the characters.

So like I feel it’s a complex back and forth between writing and planning for me. When I wrote the first few chapters, I put stuff in there that ended up being red herrings. For instance, the bit where Lucas says to Eliott that there might be more than diamonds in the Karls’ safe, at first, I thought that maybe there actually might be compromising stuff in there, but then it made more sense as a plant by Lucas for Eliott to find the guy who came for the thing (that wasn’t actually there) and trail that guy to the Alchemist Bar, so it’s a sort of trap, but I didn’t really know that at first, that became clearer later. I like seeding my story with things that might be interesting later, but if they don’t, you can always turn them into red herrings or atmospheric details. And sometimes, it’s while writing those details that I get ideas for the rest of the fic. I actually didn’t know that Lucas knew Eliott in college until I wrote that bit where he is making this fake backstory up about them meeting in college and I was like...waaaaaait a minute. So I wrote the first few chapters without really thinking that Lucas and Eliott had actually crossed paths before, and when I rewrote those scenes between them from the perspective of Lucas having been in love with Eliott for a long time but pushing it down I was surprised at how well it fit. I think I was lucky for a lot of things. But also, I gave some things a new meaning in hindsight.

I think what helps is having these themes that you can sort of riff on for each characters. So you introduce little details related to the theme you can use again later - for Lucas, for instance, danger, devotion, authority issues ; for Eliott, art, hunger, being truthful or fake, etc. I have an idea of the general trajectory I want them to go on throughout the story, so I can use that to insert some foreshadowing. And the more you know your characters the easier it gets.

So yeah I have a general outline of chapters now, and then before I start a chapter I make a general outline of scenes - which often ends up modified as I go. I also have a doc where I write iconic scenes in advance when I get an idea and I want to work towards those.

Writing fic when you publish chapter by chapter as you write is a weird thing because you are basically publishing your first draft while you write it, so you don’t have a chance to go back and fix stuff, you just have to make it work with what you have. It pushes you to be really creative sometimes, and sometimes it ends up being unnecessarily complicated, but it’s always fun.

Hope your medical stuff will be okay <3

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halekingsourwolf · 6 years

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1/9 So this started as a joke & then it fit until it didn't & now I don't know what to do so I'm sending it to you. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to, just take it as a fun (?) ramble. This'll probably be long, sorry. So I was in this conversation about how Teen Wolf missed out on having a big bad. The series long villain. And I made the joke "Well, they could've always stolen from Harry Potter, if they'd wanted to". And then I started thinking about it, if Teen Wolf *had* stolen

from Harry Potter how would that've worked out?

Hey anon! Since this is long, I’m gonna be breaking your ask down and responding to the individual pieces instead of trying to respond to it all at once at the end. Your parts will be bolded and mine won’t be.

First off, I think this is a really fun idea, I love thinking about how characters would fit in other situations. This will be extra tricky, though, since we’re trying to not only parallel characters but also individual season arcs to each of the books. I think what we’re going to end up with, probably, is a lot of elements that we can say connect (this situation is like that situation, this character is similar to that other character in some way) but might not really tie into a coherent narrative on its own. If we want to, we can look at it again later to see how TW could work if it broke more from its own structure and just became more of a loose Harry Potter AU, but for this one I’m mostly just going to focus on similarities and differences.

Let’s see how we do!

One problem is how you would count the seasons. Are seasons 3A&B 1 season or 2? Either way it doesn't fit. You either end up with 6 seasons and 7 books or with 9 seasons and 7 books. So I took the first option, which leaves me 1 season short. But if TW *had* stolen from HP maybe they would've been more successfull *shrug*. So in the 1st book (very, very roughly summarised) the hero goes against the severely weakened big bad who (we later find 3/9 out) put the hero in this position in the 1st place. When applied to TW season 1 you get: Peter. (Sorry Peter fans, I like him too but for this ramble he's gonna be our big bad.)

There are definitely some fun parallels here.

We start off with Scott, a slightly awkward and out of place teen, definitely more optimistic than Harry but also in a better place physically than Harry, until one day he’s attacked by a crazed, half-feral Alpha werewolf (just as Harry was attacked by Voldemort, albeit earlier) and is introduced to the supernatural world. This attack, we’ll eventually learn, starts our hero down the path toward becoming a Super Special Chosen One/”True Alpha.” If neither of them had been attacked, chosen, by the Big Bad, this wouldn’t have happened). Scott’s skeptical at first, to say the least, but he’s introduced to new mentors and learns how to start harnessing his new abilities.

Throughout this, Scott seems to have a mysterious connection to the unseen enemy, shown in flashes of headache and visions of what the Alpha is doing. Scott suspects his brooding mentor figure Derek as being the enemy, due to his harsh and closed off attitude, but eventually realizes Derek’s been doing his best to protect him (so yes, Derek’s Snape in this, at least for book one). Eventually they have a showdown with the Big Bad (Alpha Peter and Voldemort), burning him (molotov and physical contact) and seemingly destroying him for good.

(If we wanted to change things up a little at the series’ start to tie in more with HP, we could have Rafael McCall still living with Scott. Having the drunk and generally abusive father still around would pull in more parallels between Scott’s pre-magic home life and Harry’s, and once he learns to harness his abilities he could use them to shift and scare the man into shaping up or getting out.)

The 2nd book: the hero fights a phantom of the big bad, a girl gets possesed by said phantom & a big snake petrifies people. Ok, so that kinda fits. Peter is still the big bad. The only thing that would need to change in seasons 1 & 2 is that Peters resurrection *doesn't* work (that comes later). So no Peter in 4/9 season 3 (what did he do in 3A besides narrate the flashback? who would narrate it now? Cora? what did he do in 3B? show Scott how to enter Stiles mind & anything else?).

This book/season is my favorite for parallels.

Ginny/Lydia (both redheaded secondary characters at this point) get taken in by a shadow of the seemingly defeated Big Bad, who appears as an attractive, charismatic young man to gain their trust while insidiously taking over their minds and forcing them to do his bidding and try to resurrect him.

Meanwhile, various people in Beacon Hills are targeted and paralyzed by a snakelike creature, and the heroes make it their mission to discover the guilty party. CoS has a recurring location/theme of bathrooms, while TWs2 has a recurring theme of swimming pools. …I don’t know what to do with that, except that it popped into my head as vaguely parallel :P

There are also a few smaller parallels, like the ineffectual Dueling club Snape and Lockhart co-run, which could be paralleled to Derek’s training sessions with his new betas, and the slightly stalker-esque photographer who runs around after our heroes, snapping pictures. (Yes, poor Colin Creevey is being tied in to Matt here.)

Book 3: a person from the heros past who they think is a villain isnt, a animal is a human and later helps the big bad to life. So for 3A we have, Scotts dad and for 3B Malia? (I kinda get a laugh out of making Scotts dad Sirius, but making Malia Pettigrew? maybe if she had been a villain in TW but with how everyone hates 5/9 her now, ugh) So Peter doesn't show up in 3A&B. Allison doesn't die (yet). Kate doesn't come back. (In HP the dead *stay* dead.) I guess Malia could kidnap Derek but better to keep Mexico for the end of season 4.

Well, you know I would have loved it if M ended up being a villain, or if there was something more complex to her story to explain all the things that don’t make sense. But... ok, that said, focusing on what actually happened in TW, we could potentially pull in Jennifer as Peter? Someone our group trusts, with a specific tie to one group member in particular, who ends up betraying them and kidnapping some of our heroes to be used in a dark ritual to gain power, there are definitely parallels there. Granted, that’s tying together books three and four, and that’s where this whole parallel starts to break down because I think there are definitely some elements from season three that fit better with book four, for example; not to mention that 3A and 3B are completely different stories with independent villains and climaxes, so trying to fit them both into PoA is just a recipe for confusion. I’m gonna put my focus on 3A, I think.

So we have Jennifer as Pettigrew, disguising herself as a friend until she’s revealed as the murderous Darach. We have our main characters’ loved ones waiting to be executed by dark magic (dementors), with Stiles, Allison, and Scott subbing in for Harry and Hermione to perform potentially dangerous magic (ice bath/time travel) to set them free.

I really want to tie Lupin in to someone but no one’s coming to mind unfortunately.

Which brings me to the next question... do I skip 3B (my favorite season) entirely, or do we try to parallel 3B to book 4? That would fix the six season/seven book problem. But for now I’m gonna stick with season 4/book 4 since that’s what you did.

So book 4: A competition keeps the heros occupied while the big bad plots his resurrection with someone the hero thinks is on his side & in the end a "friend" dies. So deadpool (hitlist!) = turnament & Meredith is Moody? The season ends in Mexico were Peter with the help of a 6/9 Banshee, kidnapped Derek & *something* from Scott resurrects himself. Maybe Allsion dies. How would Peter resurrect with only Scott knowing? idk

I’m going to jump in and mention that in the end of season four someone does die dramatically: Derek. And while he does revive afterward (...somehow), he leaves Beacon Hills, leaving the pack noticeably floundering and Stiles in particular moody and desperate to cling to the people he has left. So as far as s4=book 4, I think Derek holds up as a good parallel for that loss. (If we were doing 3B=book 4, Allison would be a good fit.)

The end of the season I think is the best parallel between this book and this season, since the hero is swept away to a new place unexpectedly and made part of a dark ritual. I know you mentioned not wanting Kate back, but she would make a good parallel for someone the group thought was dead (Barty Crouch Jr) who abducts the hero to complete the ritual.

Berserkers sub in for Death Eaters, and as for Peter’s resurrection... however nonsensical, Kate and Peter working together in s4 is canon. And Peter wanted Scott gone and to gain his Alpha power back (at least... I think? His motivation was so nonsensical in s4 but what else is new) so making a deal with Kate to make that happen ties together as well.

So then book 5 (here is where the stories stopped fitting & I couldn't make them either, if you have any ideas go plot): everyone but the hero thinks the big bad is still dead, the hero and the big bad are "connected", a evil teacher appears, there's a prophecy and another "ally" dies. TW season 5: doctors experiment on teenagers, Theo tries to 7/9 get Scott killed, Mason turns into a beast, Peter doesn't show up & a Nazi escapes. So yeah. I got nothing. With Peter as the big bad it could've been interesting. Nobody belives Scott that Peter is back, Peter and Scott share a pack bond, no idea about the prophecy or the teacher, Scotts dad dies?

So just a reminder/heads up that I stopped watching the show after s4. What I know from the rest of the seasons come from other Tumblr users talking and gifs I’ve seen floating around. s5 was also another split season, meaning we can either choose one arc to parallel the book or try to blend them together into a muddy mess. The main parallel I can think of would be Stiles subbing in for Harry in this one, becoming moody and emotional after a traumatic loss (Derek), damaging his relationships with his closest friends.

Beyond that... yeah, I’m getting nothing.

So onward to book 6: the hero learns how to take the bid bads plot armour, a good guy may be a bad guy afterall & the mentor dies. TW season 6A&B: the wildhunt takes everyones memories, a 8/9 Nazi-werelion (omg) eats peoples brains, an anchient god of fear turns people into stone & Deucalion dies. (This show, I swear). So how would the new season 6A&B work? What is Peters plot armour (Hocruxes)? Does Deaton die? Who is Snape in this scenario? idk but I wish I did. What that season could've been.

Again, I’m going off very minimal information from these seasons. The mentor dying could be Deucalion (though... again, I can’t really deal with the fact that everyone’s so cool with him now after what he did in 3A. At least Derek wasn’t around and didn’t have to deal with everyone being buddy-buddy with Erica and Boyd’s murderer. *sigh* Pushing aside my issues, I am...)

The weird fear creature could be Dementors, though they didn’t really play a role in book six (here, again, we have the issue of trying to parallel specific books to seasons instead of tying in general themes). For book six.. maybe the liquid Dumbledore drinks that’s protecting Gaunt’s ring? It makes him fearful, pulls up some bad memories from his past, and more or less paralyzes him, weakening him while he drinks it.

Since Peter’s not actually a villain at this point in the season, it’s hard to pull up a parallel to the Horcruxes for him.

Which leaves book 7: the hero (& friends) find & destroy plot armour, get some info about the mentors life & all ends in a big battle not everyone survives. This would be TW fictional 9/9 season 7 (or TV movie?): Scott finally defeats Peter (& Stiles& Derek finally kiss, ofc). There you have it, well partly. I hope this was a fun read for you. Sorry, if I bothered you with it.

Overall I found this analysis really interesting, but I do think we were battling through the problem of balance between making our own story using TW elements and HP themes, or just pulling in parallels from the existing content, which makes it hard to build a coherent story.

#teen wolf #harry potter #derek hale #stiles stilinski #sterek #Anonymous #ask hks

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realtalk-princeton · 4 years

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I have a paper due on dean's date and I'm really scared because I've never written a paper like this before (I have writing sem next semester and I never really did anything like this in high school)?? Is there any advice you can give on how to start the actual writing process (I think I've found some good sources but idk man this is all so scary!!!)?

Response from Sulpicia:

I’ve written somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 papers and formal written assignments of various lengths, and I will say that things get much easier as you get practice. Don’t expect things to be perfect the first time! This is my personal writing process, so feel free to adapt as necessary.

Step 1: Understand the question. How long should it be? Are you supposed to be close reading a passage, bringing together research from different readings/areas in class, or conducting original research? Often, it’s a combination of a few things. For this example, I’m going to assume you’re doing a research paper with a fairly open-ended prompt. Page count matters a lot too; a 5-7 page paper will be much smaller in scope than a 10-12 page paper, which will in turn be smaller than a 15-20 page paper. I’m going to assume you’re doing a 10-12 page paper but most of the same tips apply.

Step 2: Develop a topic. It seems like you’re already mostly there! I find this to be the hardest part of the writing process. I usually like to start by going through class readings that I can draw upon for the paper (for some classes that’s all of it, for others that’s a subset) and rereading them, looking to see if there are any questions that were left unanswered in class. If you have a more structured prompt, then it might be useful to reread the material and see how much you can develop an answer through that. At this stage, I like to make a lot of notes on paper, and if I’m using a lot of sources I might make a web or chart to figure out how the concepts relate. Personally, I find it helpful to center my research papers around one “lead” concept and one “supporting” concept. By that I mean that you can focus on reading one piece of text through multiple theoretical lenses/the broader themes of the class, or you can apply one theoretical lens to multiple pieces of text/the broader themes of the class. The key is to focus on one specific thing.

For example, in my Fall JP my “lead” concept was a group of poems, where I narrowly focused on the treatment of slavery. In addition to my own close reading, I researched some theoretical sources and then used those sources to help understand this particular area of the text. Even though I was critiquing and quoting these scholarly sources, they were the “supporting” concept because they were helping me (and the reader) understand the main thing I was writing about.

I actually like to brainstorm term paper topics all semester and write them down when inspiration strikes. Good term papers are typically about something that, when you’re reading it, makes you think “That’s weird” or “You’re wrong, [insert scholar/author name]”, or “This contradicts with [other reading]”. Academic paper writing, just like good storytelling, requires conflict; it’s not useful to anyone to write papers that just go along and agree with everything in a source. Going back to primary sources or comparing secondary sources is how you find these conflicts and bring them to light.

The last thing you should do in this step is write a clear, specific question you want to answer. For example, I once wrote a paper where the question was “Based on manifestos from Italian Futurist writers, how was clothing incorporated into the Futurist movement, and how was this similar to and different than other Futurist art forms?”

Step 3: Brainstorm Solutions. Once you have a topic, you probably have some sources already. At this time, it’s helpful to go to the library and look for some research on your topic. Sometimes I go to the library to get ideas for topics, while other times I have specific questions I want answered and look for those answers in an existing text. In addition to our amazing library, you can look on Jstor, which is freely accessible to Princeton students, as well as Google Scholar, which has a lot of links to useful books and articles. This stage of research will help you start developing answers to your questions.

Once again, I like to make paper notes because I think it’s easier to think non-linearly on paper. Write anything down; all ideas are good ideas at this stage! I also like to make scans and print out passages from books so I can annotate them. After you’ve done this for a while, look at what you’ve written and see if there are any common themes. If you had to answer your question in one sentence, what would you say? Try to avoid the “three-pronged” thesis; this kind of roadmapping can be helpful for you and a grader if you’re writing a timed essay for a test, but isn’t really helpful for college-level writing, where you want to give more room for your ideas to breathe. The prompt that I learned in Writing Sem for writing a thesis statement goes like this: “By looking at [lead concept,] we can see that [answer to your question], which is important because [connection to broader concept/theme of class]”. If you can it’s good to not use these exact words, but it’s also okay to have some sort of structure, especially at this stage. Here’s the thesis statement from my Futurism paper, which was not my best thesis statement ever, tbh:

“I argue that Futurist fashion, as exemplified by Volt and Balla’s manifestoes, creates a realizable posthuman experience characterized by the destruction of traditional boundaries of the human condition.“

That was for a paper that was about 10 pages long. If your paper is shorter then you’ll probably need a more specific thesis statement, and if it’s longer you’ll need one that is broader or has more details.

Step 4: Develop a structure. Writer/editor Yung In Chae ‘15 wrote a really great piece about writing (which I’ll link below) in which she said that “ If the sections of your article are completely interchangeable, then you have not figured out the structure.” This is the same with your essay. Think about the first thing you need to prove for someone to buy your thesis statement, then the next thing that builds on that, then the next thing that builds on that. If I’m writing about a text, I often find it helpful to begin at the beginning and progress roughly chronologically, although you should feel free to jump around as sometimes you need to present a later piece of evidence for someone to understand the earlier one. I’ll make a rough outline either on a piece of paper or on a Word document, making bullet points with pieces of evidence and things I want to cover. Some people like to outline so heavily the process of writing is just stringing the outline together with transition words. I don’t do this, but think it’s helpful to include usable sentences in your outline so that way you make easy spots for yourself when writing. Then I print out my outline and keep it next to me.

Step 5: Write a rough draft. I lied. This is the hardest part of a paper. The blank page is like a speed bump; if you’ve done a lot of prewriting/acceleration it’s easier to sail over, but if you’ve done nothing, it feels daunting and impossible. I like to start at the beginning with my writing, but some people prefer to jump into the middle and write the introduction later. I find the introduction helps orient me, but you can see what works best for you. I’m a huge fan of what writer Ann Lamott calls “shitty rough drafts” in her book on writing, “Bird By Bird.” While the aim isn’t for the draft to be garbage, telling yourself that you will revise (and giving yourself time to revise) helps liberate you from the feeling that you have to make perfect prose every time. Just start writing and see what your paper looks like; I have never written a paper where I didn’t find more evidence while writing, or where my structure hasn’t changed in ways I could have predicted by doing anything but writing the paper.

Don’t get too stuck on a perfect first sentence. I find it helpful to open with something we discussed in lecture, or the weird, incongruous thing that led me to write the paper in the first place. Here are some first sentences I’ve written in the past:

1. “At its core, elementary education is a concise synthesis of a society’s core values, biases, and contradictions; the “basic” concepts which make up the first years of learning become the foundation upon which all later thought must necessarily rest, both in and outside of the classroom. “ (JP)

2. “A man wanders through city streets alone, buys his groceries, and returns home unharassed, noting that in his solitude he is more fortunate than even a famous senator” (JP)

3. “In his 1920 “Futurist Manifesto of Women’s Fashion,” Vincenzo Fani (using the pseudonym “Volt”) writes that Futurist thinkers will “transform the elegant lady into a real, three-dimensional complex,”[1] encouraging the use of “one hundred new revolutionary materials”[2] in the making of women’s clothing, including “paper, cardboard, glass, tinfoil. . .gas, growing plants, and living animals.”[3] Readers a century later will find striking comparisons to the daring and subversive ensembles worn by celebrities on contemporary red carpets, such as the singer Lady Gaga’s infamous “meat dress.”” (Term paper I’ve been using as an example)

As you can see, in (1) I started off with a broad generality meant to orient my reader which I, in my intro, narrowed into my specific topic. In (2), I used a narrative opening which I then expanded to get inside my topic. In (3), I introduced my source right away and then compared it to a contemporary source. I’m not saying any of these are the best writing ever, but there’s no “one way” to do an opening, even within one writer’s style.

Your intro can be as many paragraphs as you want and should end with your thesis statement. I like to think of this as the first part of a rollercoaster; you’re bringing your audience up a hill, slowly dragging them along as you introduce all of the major ideas of your paper (as well as any assumptions you may be making) before seamlessly placing your thesis statement at the top of the big hill and letting the argument run its course. The rest of the paper should be like a roller coaster as well; just like a rollercoaster pretty much zips along on its own force, you should aim for paragraphs and evidence to smoothly follow each other, with each sentence contributing to the last. Follow a pattern of evidence and analysis, and try to incorporate little chunks of evidence into your sentences rather than dumping them into sentences. Try to end your paragraphs on analytical points rather than evidence dumps.

Finally, you have to write a conclusion. My sixth-grade English teacher explained that the conclusion is where you “go beyond,” and this is what I think is key to a really successful essay. Yes, it’s awesome that you’ve proven your thesis, but why does it matter? How does it connect to broader course themes, the scholarly conversation, or even just life in general? Don’t be too trite, but try to think about how you, in 4-5 sentences, can summarize your argument and also make the meta-argument about why the world is smarter with your paper in it.

Step 6: Cite, Cite, Cite! Do this while you are writing your rough draft. Make a works cited page and add to it as you go, and also add in your in-text citations as you go to save yourself a world of stress. If your professor doesn’t specify you can use any style. I personally prefer Chicago style but I know APA is standard for sciences/social sciences. There are loads of resources online like EasyBib and Purdue Owl which are helpful for figuring out how to write citations, but the writing center is also helpful and you can always ask a research librarian as well (check your email for the “personal librarian” contact info). I brought both my JPs to my department’s subject librarian to double-check my citations.

Step 7: Revise! This is where your paper really takes shape. I revise like this. First, I print out my paper. Then, I sit down with it with a pen and write notes all over it, marking places where I need more information/evidence, where my argumentation is weak, where I’ve made typos, etc. Then, I open a new document and retype the whole thing from my revised copy. This helps me because I get overwhelmed by lots of text, and it also forces me to make all the revisions. Once I’ve got a clean non-rough draft, I also like to read my papers out loud, since that’s a good way to make sure you don’t have endless run on sentences or awkward prose. When I came to Princeton, I was usually doing 4-5 revisions of my papers, and I did about 5 complete drafts of my JP (with the biggest changes happening between my rough and first drafts). Now I typically only do 1-2 revisions, but that’s because I put the time in early as a self-editor and developed the skills to write better first drafts. I also find it helpful to have a patient friend read a draft, although it’s important to be conscious of their time.

I really can’t emphasize enough how much doing proper revising helps you stand out; most people here do not revise their work substantially, but that’s the space where you’re thinking critically about your work and enriching it. Unfortunately, our best ideas don’t come all at once but in stages, so editing is just as much about allowing your thinking to progress as anything else.

Step 7: Polish. Once your paper is edited, take this time to check for typos, add page numbers (with your name in the header), double-check citations, add a title (it doesn’t need to be art, but should be a real title and not “ENG 101 Term Paper”), and either cut down the paper to length or elaborate on a point to get it to the minimum length.

And you’re done! At this point, it takes me about 1hr/page to write a paper once I’ve done all my research, but I would allocate about 2hrs/page if you’re starting out. My #1 advice would be to not be afraid; the wonderful thing about writing is that your early drafts can be as bad as you want and nobody will ever know because you can revise, so liberate yourself. Also, you’re probably a really good writer already, so don’t be nervous :)

Here’s the link to the article which has much better writing advice than me, and write if you have more specific questions: https://eidolon.pub/ten-things-i-learned-about-writing-by-editing-68f3f93e45ef

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