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yourfavoritehouseplant · 5 months

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I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person.

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga.

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom.

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done.

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me.

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World.

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him.

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character.

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”.

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance” THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along.

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

#the autism won again you guys #revolutionary girl utena #james somerton #shoujo kakumei utena #utena #anthy #hbomberguy

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loveemagicpeace · 5 months

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🍸Saturn in Houses🍸

A lot of people ask me about Saturn in houses so I decided to make a new series about Saturn in houses in general.

☕️Most important thing about Saturn is that Saturn represent time , age ,reward , growth but in some kind of different way than Jupiter. Also represents your way of coping with life,things that you are more serious about and more responsible with. It also represents holidays. The planet is known for its reality and practicality, but also for its tendency to excessive strictness. His expectations may be too high. A strong Saturn in chart can indicate that we want to control everything in our life to the point that we consider ourselves a failure if we fail to reach the goals we have set for ourselves. However, Saturn provides the desire for we develop the areas in which we feel weak and this weakness can therefore become our greatest virtue. Strong Saturn connection between two charts in relationship (especially if saturn is in aspect with the moon or the sun) indicates a serious long-term commitment that can last forever (whether we like it or not). Saturn can also be cruel sometimes because it is the planet of hard reality but it also the planet that help us the most to achieve something much more greater than that.

🫧Saturn in 1st house- in your early age you can have problems with yourself image ,with your appearance ,confidence & energy. It can also be hard for you to express yourself. With Saturn here you can feel weak sometimes. You can feel like you don't have that much power that other people do have or you can feel like you are not good enough. Many people may underestimate you. Many times you can give off a very different energy than it really is (especially when people meet you for the first time). You are a more closed person and you only give energy to those who deserve it.

✨Saturn in 2nd house- maybe it's hard for you to find your value or set boundaries for yourself. You have very strong and serious approach to money you will never buy something that it's like I don't know some random thing. Also a lot of people think that you cannot work with money or things related to money maybe people don't trust you with that but this is all because they don't really know how smart you actually are. Low self-esteem is a characteristic trait of this placement in astrology. Self-confidence doesn’t come easy to you, though.

⭐️Saturn in 3rd house- many people underestimate your thinking, expression, intelligence. U can usually get insecure about the way you speak or the way you say some things. I think the fear in this house is that you are afraid that you will say something wrong. You have to be confident in whatever thing you say and you should say confidently because you are intelligent ,you're smart. You can also be a good writer & speaker. Many people can pass their driving test late, but that's exactly why they drive much better than others. You can get along better with your siblings later in life. You are capable of seeing things in depth.

🎧Saturn in 4th house- you can have a lot of rules in your early years. You grow up with rules at home that you can stick to. Your parents are more strict with you and allow you to do certain things later. I just feel like that parents will buy you a phone later in life or something. People usually come from a family where they weren’t emotionally nourished. But it's not always like that because when it comes to family the Moon is great indicator for how you feel at home and how you vibe at home. So saturn doesn't mean that your family cannot be good. You can also be the person who grows the fastest in the family.

❄️Saturn in 5th house- dating life can be very serious topic for you. You cannot date people with whom you don't feel that you can have committed relationships with. Saturn brings a strong desire for fame, recognition, and success but may result in delays and disappointments in love life and artistic creations. U can also struggle to find love. You can also have very high standards when it comes to love because 5th house represent dating ,represent meeting people and flirting and falling in love so usually people who have Saturn in 5th house are very serious when it comes to that. In some cases, your partners are older than you. Often, your love life significantly improves after the age of thirty. Your best relationships will probably come later in life. As you become more carefree and spontaneous, you become more attractive to others.

🍃Saturn in 6th house- you can have a lot of struggles in the work. You feel that working is just anxiety for you or when you work, people are just rude or mean to you. You are always in the shadow at work. People find you like you are not good enough or you don't do the job good enough. You can also stress a lot about your health and you can also be obsessed with being in the some kind of routine or having some lifestyle. Being healthy all the time.

🐚Saturn in 7th house- there can be issues with your relationships. You can have relationships in your early years or you don’t have for a long time. You usually have many karmic relationships from which you can learn a lot. Saturn helps you to choose the right person for yourself and to be happy in the end. You are a person who is serious when it comes to a relationship (when you find a person, then that person is the one and only for you), you hate cheating, and when you decide to leave then you leave. Saturn can also bring a sense of responsibility and duty to relationships. The individual may take their relationships seriously and work hard to maintain them.

☁️Saturn in 8th house- there can be a lot of family secrets that family kept from you. People with Saturn in this house usually feel very lonely or alone in their soul. They have this mindset that you are all alone in this world. You are aware of the hard truth in life that people don't. You can fear the death of loved ones. If you overcome the challenges of your Saturn in the eighth house, you will be able to understand people very well. You can develop a talent to see into the soul. Saturn here gives you a deep understanding of life, death, crisis, transformation, and sometimes a talent for healing.

⚡️Saturn in 9th house- Saturn gives you a deeper view of the world in which you live. Saturn in ninth house people have very strict moral code. This placement indicated a religious person, someone who either follows the set rules or makes their own views. You meet new people and experience new activities that make you see the world from a new perspective. You can also meet a lot of people that change your perspective and your mindset. But there can also be a deep fear of new views. Maybe you don't feel like you're not smart enough or that you're not educated enough.

🖤Saturn in 10th house- You usually go over many obstacles to finally achieve what you really want. Many people have problems with whether they will ever be successful or achieve it. But in the end, they achieve even more. Many times people don't believe in you and see you as a person who will never be that successful and then you surprise them all. You can learn a lot from your father and your father can be your role model or a person who helps you through life. The best advice will give you your father.

🫐Saturn in 11th house-you can have a lot of karmic friendships and you can change a lot of friends in your life. Every friend that you have is the friend that you have to learn something from them. Your hopes and wishes are another important life area associated with this house. It shows everything that comes into your life and how your dreams can come true. Saturn in eleventh house suggests that you are quiet and reserved when in a group. Sometimes you feel invisible: it feels like no one hears you out in a group. In this lifetime, you have to learn how to have a healthy relationship with groups and how to behave in your social circle.

🥃Saturn in 12th house- The individual may experience a strong sense of responsibility towards charitable or behind-the-scenes work. Sometimes you don’t let even those the closest to you to see your weaknesses. As a child, you had to learn to hide your feelings, especially the negative ones. You absorb all the energies around you, and if you are surrounded by negativity, it can affect you badly. It can happen that you have a job that requires you to be isolated in some way. Maybe you work in a hospital or prison. You are often unaware of the reason why you are in pain. If you have planets in the twelfth house, you can benefit a lot from psychotherapy. But when you have Saturn return you can benefit a lot from it and you can become very spiritual opened and you can have a lot of blessings.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

✨Ig-bekylibra✨

-Rebekah📀💘☁️

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #my notes #astrological houses #saturn in houses #saturn

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whentheynameyoujoy · 7 months

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Y’know, a lot is said about exposition and worldbuilding and show, don’t tell but I absolutely love how Muir evil-cackles “yes, and” and just weaves a story—that’s actually pretty simple if followed chronologically—completely ass backwards to the point that its signature mark is people having no idea what’s even going on over there. And not only does it still work but it hits you that much harder emotionally when you finally untangle this controlled chaos. Like, you open the first book and immediately go “huh? What the fuck is this combination of sci-fi and fantasy, and why is the fantasy element necromancy of all things?!” But you handwave it because Gideon and her porn mags and griddlehark and the consuming nature of love, aaaaargh, but as you go on, more and more layers get peeled away until you arrive at the incredibly “duh, why didn’t I see it before” origin point which is a single scientist gone apeshit with the desire to avenge our ongoing climate apocalypse, and the dying spirit of the Earth giving him the power to revive and restore her and it going horribly, horribly wrong because human heart is just that fucked up, god I love this series.

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth

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tremendum · 4 months

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Setting the Mood ; Mr. Miller vii

[not my gif] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, some use of she/her, use of the words girl/woman) rating: explicit. [18+. mdni] word count: 10k summary: ❝Joel's warming up to you in the way that feral cats warm up to a box with blankets in winter - cautiously, with a rigid spine and many false alarms.❞ warnings: power outage, one mention of cobwebs lol, smut - oral (f!receiving), nipple play, teasing, overstimulation, anal fingering (brief sorry), face sitting, pussy slapping!!!, tit slapping (once), begging, choking (light), fingering, rough sex, praise, dacryphilia, degradation, threats of using sex toys, Joel is less mean than normal, pussy drunk Joel!, squirting, brief mentions of guns/canon typical trauma and violence. also fairly fluffy. emotionally constipated joel and reader <3 notes: thank u all for ur patience & here's the next part! and Joel is a MUNCHHH in this one lol. special thanks to the anon who recently sent me such kind words about this series, as well as the other anon who gave me the inspiration & all the suggestions for this fic!!! this one's for u guys <3 [this is part seven of the Mr. Miller series.] [masterlist]

[important - this is the last fic that will be using my taglist. moving on, I've made a notifs blog - @tremendumnotifs - for ppl to follow for notifications. tysm!!] ★

"'s gettin' dark out there." Joel broods, eyebrow furrowed as he stares out the window into the dreary wink of evening, a dark gray clouding the sky as sheets of rain slam onto the pavement and pelt onto the gardens lining the block. "stormy."

you can't help but quirk your brow as you take in his worried form, the way he peels back the curtains like a wartime wife awaiting a letter or a figure appearing in the driveway. you have to fight back a laugh, instead putting on a straight face as you lean towards him, capturing his gaze.

"she's handled worse." is all you say, giving him a shrug - one that's met with a glare. "I know." he retorts, voice soured; a clench of a jaw before he turns back out, brooding, sighing, gritting his teeth. okay then.

you shift yourself, plopping heavily onto the couch - you're still not used to being in this house, even in its simple glory. Joel's boots, muddy by the door, Ellie's drawings littering the walls like little trophies Joel silently boasts about - none of them have frames, though you decide in a better world, they probably would. empty mugs of half-drank coffee on the counter next to the sink, a discarded hand knife on the dining table.

it's almost a complete mirror of your current house - with a tickling thrill, you'd realized this faintly the first time Joel'd thrown you onto the ground in his foyer months ago. he's since grown gentler with the way he handles you, at least, when he wants to.

even now - his tolerance, vastly expansive compared to months ago when a breath in his direction would cause a snarl within a second. now, he even initiates conversations - not often, but enough for you to feel like, at some point, things did change with him. Joel's warming up to you in the way that feral cats warm up to a box with blankets in winter - cautiously, with a rigid spine and many false alarms.

you don't particularly mind, either - Ellie and Dina have been helping you with the winter garden greenhouses a lot, and even Joel has stopped by on his way back from patrols to check in, lingering with glares or stares depending on his mood. he even came over to help you try and fix your porch steps leading to the backyard - free of charge, though you sent him home with some of the biscuits you'd made earlier that day.

you still get on each other's nerves - snide remarks, passes at the other's intelligence or capability. Joel criticizes you nearly every chance he gets, but you've come to decide it's a defense mechanism and not entirely in his full control. you, similarly, tease him every moment you can for his dramatics, but suddenly clam up and scamper away at any semblance of feelings or emotion. he always lets you come back though, without any mention of it.

"are you seriously worried about her?" you ask, sighing gently. you see the uptick in his brow when he looks at you, but you quickly follow up - "because we can go find her." you add, softer.

his jaw loosens slightly and he sighs heavy. "no, 's fine. I know she's at Dina's. just bein' dramatic."

you shoot him a look with your brows raised - no shit, Joel - but the withering look he gives you shuts your trap before you can go and run your mouth.

so you let him relax in his own way - pacing in near silence for several minutes before he stops, makes an internal decision to pour you and him each a finger of some amber whisky, and then drains it all in one go. you opt to sip yours.

the wind is what has you in a disturbed state - it howls louder in the basin of this valley than it ever has before in your life; screaming down the streets, blowing through the rush of firs that line the outskirts of downtown. and now, it uses its immense force to slam weeping drops of precipitation into the gardens hard enough to form bits of cold hail - a threat which, had it not been twenty years into the end of humanity, would likely still put gardeners to their beds with a curse to Demeter.

but now, circumstances are a bit more dire. losing crops, especially at this time of year, could be fatal.

"y'done with that?" his voice pulls you from your thoughts, looking up to see him standing above where you perch on the couch, gesturing to the towel in your lap. you blink, nodding, "-oh. yes, I am, thanks."

you use one last handful to scrunch up your wet hair, handing him the towel expectantly - but he stays rooted just in front of you, eyes staring unblinkingly at you. a sense of warmth floods through you, starting in your face and spreading over your chest and abdomen. his eyes are softer than they usually are; you lift a brow, his dark gaze unmoving. "something on my face, Miller?" you ask, lifting a brow. it's snappy - you don't necessarily intend it to be, but you can never tell with him.

he blinks, grabbing the towel from your hands which he'd provided for you when you'd arrived, sending you a grave look. "don't you start with me." he snaps back, turning to walk off towards the laundry room. the room, you think with foolish butterflies, where your jacket hangs up with its orange, janky stitching over the right side to dry. in some ways, a mark of Joel Miller. you smile down to yourself, staring at the spot he'd just stood.

you swallow your thoughts. you were here for a reason - not to get distracted, but to make a cake for Ellie. Joel had asked you a few days ago to help him bake a cake - for no apparent reason, you don't think her birthday is anytime soon - you'd agreed because, aside from the fact that there's little you wouldn't do for the girl, you haven't baked one in a long time and the lavender you'd grown last summer and dried is begging to be used in a cake batter.

"we need to get started soon!" you call out, shifting slightly to try and find his concealed body somewhere in the house. a faint call of his gruff voice responds to you, but you can barely hear through the onslaught of rain outside; suddenly, and with a careless flicker, the lights all shut off.

the whirring of heating stops, too, until everything is dark and silent.

you stare with shock, blinking in the dark - the house is silhouetted by the darkening sky, plagued already by thunderclouds. fuck.

"Joel?" you call out, rising on your feet to find him - you remember him mentioning in one of the first rounds of patrol with him - before anything, back when he really was just Tommy's brother - that he'd been some sort of handyman pre-apocalypse and so how the fuck has he just tripped the fusebox-

you feel him before you see him, unfortunately.

Joel, for all the time you've spent intimately knowing what his body feels like, shocks you every time by his sheer strength, the size of his shoulders and the broadness of his chest - especially when you slam into him in the dark.

"fuck," you both chorus at the same time, you stumbling back and him likely rubbing his shoulder. you groan as you hit a thumbtack stuck in the wall with your head, rubbing the spot sorely in the dark.

"the power's out." he states, irritation laced through his words. you roll your eyes, knowing it's unlikely he'll even see them in this light anyways.

"hadn't noticed."

your voice is flat and the silence that follows turns your face hot, taking a breath as you rock on your heels. "well I didn't do it." he states obviously, causing your brow to lift slightly until you look out to see through the muggy windows against the downpour that the whole block is out of power. damn weather.

"found a flashlight." he clicks it on, the light faint and dying as he brushes a few cobwebs from his hand - you realize the flashlight must have been from before the outbreak, with the original owners. but then the light is illuminating in your face; your eyes squint and you bat it away from you with a hiss, glaring at the man in front of you.

"what are you, a vampire?" he's holding in a laugh, you can hear it in his voice. you roll your eyes, "you tried to blind me, that was a perfectly acceptable reaction. besides, I'm sure the batteries in that thing are a second away from corroding. don't put that near me."

he sighs, setting it beside him on some half-wall and you cross your arms. "suppose a guy like you probably doesn't have many candles, do you?" you ask, rocking on the balls of your feet - you really don't wish to spend the evening alone in your freezing house - nor in one that is completely dark.

"do I seem like I'd have any candles?" he asks, equally as exasperated as you. you let out a frustrated groan, leaning against a wall and jumping when you poke your hip into a table you hadn't expected to be there. you ruminate for less than a second before perking up, gasping in a sharp way that has his hand finding your elbow in alarm.

you ignore the flip of your heart at the gesture, tilting your head instead. "I have some. at mine." you say, shifting on your feet. it looks borderline dangerous to go outside right now - as you look out, it must occur to Joel that he's still holding your elbow because he jerks as if to remove it, but instead slides his hand up to hold your shoulder. it makes your heart skip a beat and you scarcely move a muscle.

Joel huffs a long-suffered sigh, before nodding. "let me get my boots."

getting to your house was less of a disaster than it should have been; Joel had the foresight to stuff a change of clothing into a bag after a brief argument about him not owning any umbrellas ('you don't have a fucking umbrella?' 'well pardon me for not havin' a Wal-Mart to stock up at during a fucking apocalypse.') and had held the lid of a trash bin above your heads as you ran, avoiding as much pelting hail as possible, to your front porch. you knew he was irritated - with the weather, with the fact that Ellie wasn't home, maybe even that you didn't get to make the cake - enough so that he wouldn't even make eye contact with you as you fumbled, fingers frozen and wet, for your key.

to your embarrassment, it's too stuck in the keyhole and your door wouldn't budge. it'd grown sticky and misshapen after the heat and sudden cold of winter, the frame wholly unfit to keep a functioning front door on its hinges.

"for god's sakes, give me them." he snapped, pushing into the frame and snatching the keychain from you, tinkering until he was able to slam into the doorframe with a grunt and burst it open.

"we needa fix that." he observes, ridding himself of his boots as you slink into the dark house after him, your face hot at his automatic assumption that he would help you fix your doorframe. he hadn't been particularly happy about fixing the steps for you, but he'd done it without being asked.

once you're rid of your wet coat and boots, you grab Joel's arm in the cold, dark space of your entry way and start to lead the two of you rather quickly up to your bathroom. "where the hell do you keep these things?" he grumbles until you've fumbles your way into the master bath, feeling around in the dark under the cabinets and avoiding stray screws sticking out near the drainpipes; it occurs to you that perhaps you should saw them off. maybe you could bribe Joel into doing it for you when he comes round to fix the doorframe.

seconds later you spin, holding up thick candles triumphantly, smirking as you shove three of them into his surprised arms. the lighting in your house is interrupted by the flash of lightning, flickering brightness over the dark porcelain tiles. "good thing we like to share, right Miller?" you smirk, grabbing the rest of the candles, eyeing the Epsom salt in a mason jar in the fading light, mentally noting to use that next time you take a bath.

he grunts at your words and you grin, shrugging. "what's mine is yours, right?" you ask sweetly.

he gives you a look as you make your way to the main bedroom to grope around for a lighter or matches - you can feel his irritation starting to wane away, slowly trickling like the beginning of a stream. "when did I ever say somethin' like that?"

you shrug with one shoulder, sending him a dark grin, "well you sure must've thought it that night when you invited yourself in to my bathroom."

it's quiet aside from the storm - your stomach broils in anticipation, heat and some kind of arousal tickling at your guts. there's nothing you love more than irritating him.

you tilt your head, desperately wanting to add more, but not in the particular mood to start a real fight.

Joel, at your words, doesn't get mad - instead he just stares on at you, much too silent, brooding.

his eyes swirl seductively, as if reliving that night in his head. you sure are - his stare, the way his eyes had trailed over your body, the soap slipping over your pert tits and just begging him to join you. in your mind, you leave out the blood and the wound from your stomach, the yelling from Joel and... well, everything that happened after that.

his eyes trail over your body, getting stuck on the curves of your hips and breasts, before meeting you again. when he opens his mouth, the words are not what you'd expected.

"this is too many candles for one woman to have in her bathroom." he grunts, shooting you a stern look that seems nearly sinister in the dark moonlight. the rain pours relentlessly on the roof and onto the windows, streaks in the reflection sliding down his broad chest.

bending over to reach the matchbook on your dresser, you toss him a little grin, "never said they were just for me. believe it or not, I tend to enjoy setting the mood."

his brows raise, setting the candles on the surfaces around him - two on the nightstand, one on the bench at the foot of the bed. you light each of them gently.

"set the mood." his voice is flat, twinging slightly with a hard jealousy that nearly has you floating.

"that's right." you nod, lighting the candles with a gentle smirk. he hums, crossing his arms as you cross to his side, lighting the candles and avoiding his eyes, suddenly very aware of the central piece of furniture in the room - your bed - and the lack of any chairs or couches.

"did you bring a lotta men into this room t'set the mood?" he asks suddenly, sending a wave of arousal through you. you hide your smirk as you turn back to him, illuminated by the flicker of candlelight. the implication of his words - did you - like he knows that you're only sleeping with him now. that he likes it that way.

you nod, "only the nice ones." your voice is nearly a purr; his eyes are dark pools, widening in the abyss of desire that threatens to swallow you both whole. his hands find purchase on your hips as you tilt your head.

"Ian?" he counters - both of you know the answer - but you don't mind leaning in to that curling, angry monster of jealousy that hides itself as indifference.

"maybe." you retort, leaning closer to him, tilting your head to keep eye contact. "it's always so much better when it seems romantic. they're not as selfish. less rough-" you see his eyes flicker when your hand coming to trail over his broad chest. "let me cum as much as I want."

of course, this was a fib. there were scarce numbers of people you let into your bed as is - even fewer who ever made you cum at all. Joel surely knows this - but his hands tighten around you all the same. "s'that right?" he asks, head tilting down to stare deep into you. you swallow, nodding with a grin. "it was much more civilized. and they weren't afraid to ask me to drinks or to come have dinner."

his smirk drops and, for a moment, a pang of guilt hits you; you hadn't meant to bring that up, in fact the prospect of going on a date with Joel scares you more than most things in the world - but he moves on quite quick.

"how many times?" he says instead, cutting off your spiraling thoughts. your confusion must show on your visage; Joel tilts his head, staring at you sternly, expectantly. "how many times did he make you cum?"

you blink, trying your best to continue your little white lie, but instead, your voice shakes out, "th-three." you admit. the smirk that curls under his stubble sends a flicker of dread through your gut - he's seeing straight through you.

you've cum three times with only one man - he's standing right in front of you, and he certainly knows it.

but he likes to play the game. so he nods, "okay, baby. three. I can beat three." he says simply, thumbs starting to rub slow circles into the skin exposed above your waistband. your cheeks heat, "wh-what?" you ask dumbly, watching the twitch of a grin that flickers across his skin in the dewy glow of the candlelight.

he shrugs, "been dreamin' about tasting that pretty little cunt all week."

your eyes widen - a hot coil of arousal swirls in your core as you stare up at him, wishing you'd swigged that whisky that lies over at Joel's in the dark like he had, if only for the courage.

because mutely, you've realized this is the first time anything has been initiated between you without an argument - and by Joel, nonetheless. he seems almost bashful when you look back at him.

"why'd you wait this long, then?" you ask, trying to sound coy but instead sounding very aroused, out of breath.

he lifts a coy brow. "waitin' for you to set the mood, I guess."

you stare at him for a moment.

his eyes flicker in some foreign kind of shyness, and then it occurs to you; you nearly burst out in laughter. "-was that a joke?"

your heart skips a beat when Joel lets out a small smile.

it's warm, syrupy - full of light. you nearly forget why you're laughing. "maybe. don't matter."

he seems so soft, so shy - as if embarrassed that he's admitting how bad he's wanted you all week. like you haven't been the same way.

but you can't seem to let it go - "a joke, from crabby old Mr. Miller?"

but you knew it'd come, using his name like that.

his hand is strong when he grabs your jaw, gentle but stern, and fighting his own smile - the smile lines around his eyes glowing and beautiful. you wish you got to see them more.

"doll, I thought we've talked about bein' respectful." he lifts a brow and you nod, swallowing your laughs quickly as his hand squeezes on your cheeks. "now, we've made it look real nice in here, haven't we?"

you take a moment before realizing he's waiting for an answer - you stand taller, nodding, "yes, sir." you agree, fighting the growing heat within you.

he nods, "'s right. so I'll treat you real nice, just like the boys you talk about." he sneers, weakening your knees. he moves you both slowly toward the mattress, tilting his head, "do you want that?"

does he even have to ask?

"yes, please, I want it." you agree, the desire to have him between your thighs growing unbearable. "we need'ya to come three times. you're going to count for me, aren't you?"

you wish more than anything you could defy such saccharine, sweet condescension from the man in front of you - but you've always been weak for him and his cruel mouth. you nod, staring up at his dark eyes, letting him push you onto the mattress gently. you faintly wish you'd taken the time to make your bead neatly this morning - but the thought is pulled from you as you note Joel's sudden hesitation. you tilt your head, about to ask if he's okay, when he abruptly speaks.

"you're so fuckin' pretty, darlin'." he says suddenly, looking at you with that exact stare from earlier on his couch; your heart flips as you stare up at him, swallowing. his hands come to your shoulders, moving until he's standing flush against the edge of the mattress, your thighs spread open for him to caress your neck gently. your heart pounds at the stark honesty of his words.

"beautiful." he whispers, feather-light touches over your neck, your chest shuddering and breaths short, staring in silence. "d'you know that?"

he's being uncharacteristically soft, and an inkling in your mind wonders if it's all a show - never would Joel Miller willingly be kind in such a manner. so giving, so... loving.

that panic that often finds you in the more tender moments flares up. you swallow thickly, "are you gonna get to it, or just stand there and stare at me?" you snap, the panic rising at his words.

his slow movements upon you stop, his eyes meeting yours sharply. something changes in him, a shift that is foreign and also familiar; as if snapping out of some trance and back into his original state.

"I'll do whatever the hell I want to." he snaps, "and you're gonna take it because I'm choosing to be nice to you." his voice is unforgiving - the cold tone with which you're used to. where you're safe, unafraid of what lies beneath tender caresses or words. "you hear me?"

you swallow down heat, a pool leaking into your panties - you're unsure if it's the way he was softly caressing you or the roughness of his words - probably both. "yes, Joel."

he lifts a brow, correcting you. "sir."

you swallow, nodding. "yes, sir." he leans over, kissing the crown of your head gently. "that's good. now I don't want to hear another fucking word out of you unless you're counting for me." he stares down out you, skin glowing under the scruff of his facial hair light up by the glow of the candles. he nods at your silence, a small smirk. "always liked you better when you're fucked so stupid you can't get a word out, anyways."

you don't dare speak, but you shoot him a withering glare, one that has him chuckling. "y'always act like such a brat, but you always end up doing what I tell you, don't you?"

you stare at him, your heartbeat in your throat, sat below him with your neck craned up. he raises his brows, hand coming to caress your jaw, "yeah, you do." he nods, "pussy can't get enough, huh?"

he's speaking in rhetorical, but you still want to slap him across the cheek.

you press your thighs closer but any kind of relief is prevented by his own legs as he stands between them. he leans forward, then, one hand pushing your jaw back until you're forced to look up to the ceiling; his other, snaking around your hips to thumb at the hem of your top.

his breath is hot as it hits your earlobe. "s'okay, I can't get enough of this pussy, either." he whispers, teeth nipping at your soft skin.

you sharply exhale as his hands tug on your top, releasing the looser buttons until it's held by only two of them, near your collarbones. he hums lowly, fingers rising to undo them himself. your skin is a wasteland of goosebumps, anxiously waiting for his touch.

he groans when you let the top slide off of you, your bare chest glowing alight by the candles. his eyes swallow you whole, amiring every part of you; your face burns warm, even as his hand trails one light finger down, over the swell of your left breast and brushing against your perked nipple.

"knew you weren't wearin' a bra." he grunts, his teeth scraping over your throat, "saw it the moment y'walked through my door. sat all pretty on my couch, teasin' me in this top." he growls, hands sliding over your shoulders to grope at your breasts.

you let out a sudden sigh - you hadn't noticed the baited breath that'd been held in your lungs the moment Joel'd pushed you onto the bed - you feel about to burst with need, your eyes pleading up at him. "sounds like you were just lookin' for it." you snap, eyes narrowing as you grow unwilling to play such games with Joel.

he wastes no precious moment; the smack is delivered light and playful to your right breast, stinging in pleasure as you gasp in a breath. his hand soothes over it even as he sneers in your face, leaning into your space, "did I tell you you could speak?"

you glare defiantly, "I thought we'd established by now that you always let me get what I want. you might even want it more than I do."

his hand finds its old home against your throat; holding you towards him, not restricting your airway but claiming you anyways. you feel another gush of arousal at the move, his eyes glaring into you. "oh, you'll get what you want, sweetheart." he says, voice holding no kindness, but an ominous amount of sincerity. "gonna be real nice to ya. all you're gonna do is sit here and look pretty. can you count to three?" he asks, voice rude. you glare back at him, "obviously."

he smirks, "we'll see."

and then he starts.

you aren't sure what you expected, but Joel wasn't lying when he said he was going to treat you nice. caresses over your skin, growing clammier by the minute- his clothes, still on and still wet from the downpour, sticking to his broad shoulders and expanse of his chest. his lips pepper over your neck, your jawline, teasing the corners of your mouth and releasing a cacophony of butterflies before dipping back down to your chest.

his hands are so large, gentle and intentional as they slide over the warmth of your skin. "pretty girl." he mutters, leaning so that one knee corners you, pushing you backwards until you're laying back on the mattress. you shutter a gasp as his thumbs and forefingers find your nipples, thumbing over them and sending currents of pleasure through you.

your whimpers and soft gasps are swallowed up by the sound of the storm against the roof, the cold house warming up by the second. he watches with lidded eyelids as his fingers twist your nipple, eliciting a sharp gasp of pain from you, pleasure blossoming through your body. you squirm, but he soon grows impatient, standing back and grabbing onto your ankles, tugging you towards the edge of the bed.

"keepin' all these slutty candles around, huh? how long you've been wanting to use these with me?" he asks gently, his fingers fumbling with your waistband. you help him, shoving them down your legs along with your panties, tossing them to his left.

"the candles aren't the ones that are slutty." you gasp as he pulls you closer to his hips, lifting you slightly of the mattress. his hard cock, separated from your yearning cunt by his denim, presses deliciously into you. he actually laughs at this; a shake of his head and a flutter of his eyelashes. "y'got that right."

he doesn't tease you like you'd expected - no, instead one finger circles your slit, gathering the sopping slick that leaks from you before gently sliding into your desperate heat.

you mewl loudly, eyes scrunching shut in pleasure. his finger is thick, warm; curling slightly as he slowly thrusts it into you. he hums lowly, one hand lowering you to the mattress then sliding up your skin to palm at your tits - they're stained with a few lovebites, brazen and still lined with excess of Joel's spit. it makes you shiver in pleasure. "that's it, baby." he growls lowly, "tight, real tight for me." sweat lines your brow as a low coil grows in your abdomen.

you nearly speak out of sheer habit several times, jolting when he hits your sweet spot repeatedly, hand flying to his hair and holding tight; he groans at that, deep and sweet. your eyes fall to his bulge and your hands move to palm him eagerly; he hisses in pleasure but the fingers not inside you catch your hands.

"not right now, sweetheart. not gon' be selfish, right? 's all about you."

when he adds a second finger, you're already squirming, regretting your doubt that he'd tease you. he's excruciatingly slow, gentle - his hand slides up to hold you by the throat, pushing you against your mattress as he starts to curl his fingers, thrusting harder.

you moan deeply as he finds your spot; your clit aches, neglected and throbbing, and your hand almost moves to relieve yourself before you second guess yourself and remain with your hands on his bicep.

you sigh, eyes rolling back as he fucks his fingers into you, wishing more than anything that his mouth was on you. or his cock in you.

his hand is a steady warmth against your throat and you know he can likely feel all the failed words and moans as they die out in your throat. he grins, fucking you steady with two fingers, "is there somethin' you wanna say, baby?" he asks, feigning genuine concern.

you groan out in frustration, that hot simmer growing as pleasure streaks through you. you glare at him, surely an amusing sight with the tears of frustration in your eyes. he tuts, pouting lightly. "c'mon, you can say it."

you swallow thickly at his permission, his hand peeling away from your throat momentarily to caress your jawline with his thumb. "use- use your mouth. please," you gasp, desperate as you move your hips against his fingers. he hums, "what, y'can't cum like this?" he asks, his fingers starting to pick up their pace. you grip his forearm and neck, gasping as your back arches from the mattress.

his fingers drag over your slick channels, the noise of your pleasure echoing as you nod, face crumpling in ecstasy. "fuck," you whimper, tugging on the nape of his neck.

he smiles, a dark thing in the dim light. "bet you can. let's see it, sweetheart."

you groan as the pad of his thumb finds your swollen clit; explosions of light appear behind your eyelids as he adds a third finger, his thumb rubbing circles around your sensitive bud.

his hand leaves your throat to press against your stomach; "y'feel that, darlin'?"

the pressure nearly pushes you over the edge, your thighs shaking as you grab for the bedsheets, hands leaving Joel in the shock of your nearing orgasm.

the noises echo in your ears as his pace picks up impressively; your knees shake as they start to close, your muscles seizing in pleasure. your whine is higher than normal as you squeeze around his fingers, white hot pleasure spreading.

you cum with your head tossed back, legs closing tightly as one of his hands tries to pry them open, fingers fucking you through your high.

you pulse, riding your high with stuttered breaths, fingers twisted into the sheets as he pumps his own into you languidly.

you remember wryly what Joel had asked of you, and you croak through a dry throat, "o-one."

you feel a huff of breath against your cheek before he hums. "that's good, baby." he murmurs, watching your cunt twitch, your arousal leaking out of you around his fingers.

you moan lowly as his fingers leave you, rising to his own lips to taste you; his eyes stay on yours as he palms himself lightly. you eagerly swallow, shifting your hips towards where he stands. yes, you need him in you-

he shakes his head at you as throws your legs away from him - you watch in shock as he starts to move. he pulls himself onto the mattress, laying upon your pillows, looking at you expectantly. "c'mere, baby." he mutters.

you blink at him, seeing his expression and slowly crawling to straddle him. your clit bumps against the denim of his crotch as you slowly rolls your hips over his, his straining cock delicious against you.

his hands find your hips and force your movements to halt with a strong grip. you stare at him, feeling embarrassed and confused, unsure what he wants.

he shoots you a look when you try to press yourself against him again, his fingers digging into your hips- "if y'think I'm fucking you tonight, you've clearly misunderstood."

your face must drain of blood as you stare at him, heartbeat pounding in your chest as you squirm. he moves down slightly, nodding upwards towards the top of your bedframe. "c'mere. and hold onto the edge if you can't handle it."

with a shaky breath and butterflies in your chest, you let him guide you upwards, until you're hovering over his face.

you let out a breath of desire, already throbbing in need; he stares up at you, "thought you needed my mouth on you?" he sneers. "play with your tits, baby, and ride my face." your fingers rise to your breasts, teasing your nipples gently as you whimper.

"now." he growls, hands pulling your hips down onto his face.

you gasp in shock, forehead and hands hitting the wall behind the bedframe as you jolt to stare at him. his tongue drives a fat lick through your soaked cunt, tasting your spend as your hips buck. your clit brushes against his nose- fuck, his nose; strong and slanted, beautiful as you press against it once again. pleasure shoots through you, curling your toes as you press against him.

all you can feel is Joel - your hands return to your breasts, if anything so that you have something to hold on to as ecstasy courses through you. his tongue circles your entrance lightly before sliding into you. you groan out, head falling back as you grind against his face; his groan reverberates in your cunt as a jolt of satisfaction causes your legs to weaken. "feels so good," you whimper, breathlessly; you don't even care that Joel told you not to speak, all you can think of is his tongue on you. the heat of your second crest starts to bubble over already; you let out a long moan.

you feel one of his thick fingers slide over the globe of you ass, gathering your slick before prodding gently at the tight ring of muscle below your cunt.

you gasp in shock, desire flooding you as need spurs you on, "fuck- please, sir, yes." you gasp, hoping the honorific will inspire him to give you what you really want.

he does. his finger breaches your hole slowly as you keen forward, gripping onto the headboard. he moans into your pussy as gushes of pleasure gather from the sensation and you whimper lowly, the feeling of his nose against your clit mixing deliciously as he slides his finger deeper into your ass.

if there's a better thing than having Joel's mouth on your cunt, it's that he can't speak like this; you start to move your hips, riding over his nose and fucking back onto his digit as he groans lowly.

"fuck- fuck." you groan, legs quivering, threatening to give out. he hums, leaning to chase your pussy as you move up, starting to move his finger inside your tight channel, his eyes staring up at you; you lock eyes as you thumb a nipple and your eyes roll back at the wide-blown pupils that meet you.

his hands, large and strong, pull you back against him, cementing you as he laps at your pussy, fucking his finger into you quicker and bringing you so close to your orgasm that you fall back slightly; your hand stabilizes yourself on his clothed chest; rolling your hips, the new angle sets your cunt into a wild frenzy of clenching, feeling incredibly close and chest stuttering as you near your high.

his finger leaves you suddenly as he pulls you towards him again - you barely have time to whimper at the loss of feeling before his tongue is flicking over your clit again, sending streaks of hot pleasure through you.

he's delving into you once again, his nose rubbing against you, your hips sliding over his face and finally pushing you over the edge.

your yelp of pleasure tails into a moan as you roll your hips, cumming on his face as you ride it out once again, legs shaking impossibly. you're muttering swears mixed in with his name as you ride out your second orgasm, shaking in desire.

"two," you whimper, sweat breaking on your forehead as one of his hands slides over your thigh, raking blunt nails over your skin. but he continues, your cunt sensitive as you jolt away from him as you catch your breath; you slide off of his chest to the mattress, your whole body tremoring with pleasure.

his face is flushed, chin glistening with your juices as he sits up, muttering, "don't you move."

you stop your movements, staring with hot cheeks and a swollen cunt as he turns, hands finding one of your pillows.

he leans forward to prop your head upon it; you gape at him in confusion, still pleased at the relief of strain in your neck but knowing you'll cum one more time before he's satisfied.

your body already yearns for it - you realize with a hot flash of arousal his intentions as he slinks backwards then, sliding to his knees.

your legs, despite yourself, spread for him. he smirks, "look at you, sweetheart, so willing for me."

you bite your lip, "just make me cum again," you say breathlessly, finding your strength again.

he raises his brows, "you sure you can handle it?" he asks, his palm sliding to cup your puffy cunt, the stimulation making you gasp. and then he slaps you, landing a harsh pressure on your clit that has you yelping, knees closing.

his other hand parts your legs, smacking you repeatedly until you yelp out, "yes!"

he stops his ministrations, instead rubbing your mess of juices all around you, causing you to sigh a gentle moan. he presses a kiss to your inner knee as he hums.

"I want eyes on me, sweetheart. can you do that?"

your eyes flick down to him as he settles between your quivering legs with a grin. a gentle kiss above your mound that has your eyes fluttering. "yes," you say breathlessly.

he rewards you with his lips against your cunt once again; it's immediately sending you over in stimulation, your legs tightening around his head before you gasp at the feeling, his tongue flattening over your swollen clit and plunging again into your entrance.

it's not long - your body is buzzing with electric desire, throbbing and jolting every time Joel's hands spread your legs open wider; your ankles curl and press into his back as his tongue alternates between flicking your clit and stroking as far into you as he can.

he's groaning into you, using his fingers to spread you further open for him; eating you out like it's his favorite meal. you're not sure if you'll stay conscious after your next high - you feel it creeping towards you and you whimper to Joel, starting to feel too sensitive.

"Joel- it's-" you whimper, pulling back and starting to crawl away on your hands, your legs tremoring with pleasure, moving up the mattress. he growls, hands grabbing you and pulling you back to him.

"not done with you yet." he murmurs, lips attaching back to your cunt. you buck your hips at the pleasure of overstimulation, hips moving away.

his hand grabs your ass, pulling you once again towards him, "stop fuckin' squirming. thought you wanted to get to three."

"I do," you whimper, gasping as his tongue traces around your pussy lips, tasting you and groaning into you. his face glistens with your juices and it's everything you can do to keep staring at him; he glares at you, "then don't complain."

his tongue licks a stripe up you again, swirling and sucking on your clit, and within moments you're nearing your high.

then suddenly everything - your fingers twist painfully as your body goes rigid, hitting your orgasm with a scream, your legs shutting around him and muscles spasming.

"that's right, sweetheart, ride it out." he mutters into you as you shutter, unable to form words but babbling his name incessantly as you push yourself up the mattress, away from the stimulation again as pain and pleasure swirl around your body.

fuck, you almost- you felt something different about that last one. he pulls himself until he's leaning over you, "think you're forgetting somethin'." he teases, his hands running up until they palm your tits.

you groan, hands shaking as they push against the mattress, the warmth of his body delicious. your eyes are fluttered shut, "two." you realize your miscalculation as it leaves your mouth -"n-no-" your eyes widen at your slip-up and you shake your head, embarrassed; your mind too consumed by Joel to fully function.

you wish he would just fuck you - his cock is unbelievably hard straining against his jeans and you urge to take him in any way you can. you'd let him have anything.

Joel sneers at you, amused by your flustered state. "d'they teach kids to count in these fuckin' FEDRA schools anymore?" he growls, slapping your pussy once more and making you yelp.

if you'd been paying more attention to his words, you'd have snarled that you learned how to count in public school, before the outbreak - and that he's a fucking idiot; you can't, however, as you're slapped on your sensitive clit once again.

fuck - a streak of euphoria through you at the jolt has your back arching.

"shut up, Joel." you whimper, "can you just- please, can you fuck me?" you ask, brows knitting together. he sighs, pulling back to stare at you with a stern stare. "just a little bit?" you beg, a ravenous force spurring in your blood. you need him.

"god damn it." he snaps, "I'm bein' so good to you, and all you can do is bitch and moan about my cock. got you so fuckin' obsessed, don't I?"

you groan in frustration, half of your body screaming to let yourself rest and half of you searing with desire and frustration. his words fluster you; even more so as he leans forward, hand spreading you apart to roll his clothed hips against your bare ones gently.

you let out a mewl, hips jerking back at the directness of the denim on your clit, the sharp sensitivity hitching in your throat. you ache and clench around nothing, your cunt begging to be filled by him. "please, Joel. I'll do anything." you insist smally, eyes fluttering shut. his lips ghost over your hairline and then peck your cheek in a shocking show of kindness.

"you can take it?" he murmurs against your lips. hope sparks in your heart and your bare ankles wrap around his his, pressing him against you, "yes, yes." you promise, nodding eagerly. he hums in thought.

"I'll fuck you with my fingers, then."

you gasp, hips jolting when his fingers spread your sopping lips, his eyes intent on your face as he circles your entrance. the tip of a finger notches against you and you flutter around him; your hands grasp onto his forearm and shoulder, staring up with a gasp. you're aching - you need him, any of him.

"Jesus, look at'you." he groans, muttering as his head dips to watch your pussy suck his fingers in with ease. he slowly pushes until he's knuckle-deep, groaning, "greedy little thing."

but his eyes stare and he doesn't move; you take it upon yourself to rock your hips, gasping at the pleasure you find as you take him even deeper.

he looks desperate, with his eyes wide, curls wet, mussed, and peppered on his head. "baby, I've gotta taste you." he grunts, suddenly sliding back down to lay between your legs; you mewl in shock as his mouth attaches to your clit in moments.

his fingers, then, start to thrust. gentle, at first, but you're so stimulated you shake your head, "can't-I can't." you whimper.

he shakes his head, the action notching his nose once again against your clit and sending shots of euphoria through you. you feel numb and on fire, eyes rolling back.

"you can, and you will." he mutters into your pussy, tongue sliding across the sopping plane of you as his fingers pick up their pace; your thighs clench shut around his head and squeeze - you can't help it - and he moans a genuine sound of pleasure at the feeling.

"you were so ready to when it was my cock. maybe I should use some of your toys you love tellin' strangers at bars about so much." he grunts, "make this little pussy cream even more."

your face burns as your eyes snap to him; a shiver of interest is soon overcome with the knowledge that you couldn't handle that; you glare at his words, anyways. that was one time, to him. when you were drunk. sure, not the best first impression, but- look where it got you.

you shake your head as you writhe below him, his lips returning to your sensitive mound to suck harshly as his fingers start to pump harder into you. he decides for himself with a hum, pulling away slightly, "no, you taste too fuckin' good. gonna stay here all night."

you believe him.

he tears you apart, tongue lapping you up, twisting his fingers, curling them as he slides them into you; the noise of your cunt wetly taking Joel's fingers and mouth make your eyes roll back.

he's everywhere - your fingers twist once again into the bedsheets, your toes curling as all of your muscles tense.

his fingers leave you suddenly, the feeling leaving you to suck a gasp into your lungs as he trails his hand over the valley of your breasts and into your mouth; you suck your juices off of his fingers eagerly, your mouth falling open in a yelp when he nips gently at your clit.

you jerk away, knowing you're sharply close to your next orgasm, your body tremoring and tears forming in your eyes.

the overwhelming pleasure is building immensely and you squirm away from him with a gasp hands coming to cover your pussy as it spasms, aching and leaking arousal.

"J-Joel- I can't," you wail.

he tuts, "c'mon, taste fuckin' amazing. love this little pussy." his arms snake around your hips, dragging you back and smacking your own hands away from your core. you sigh at the gentle swirl of his tongue through your swollen folds, hands carding into his hair and gripping tight. he mutters it quietly, "jus' one more, sweetheart, you can do it."

you whimper, a tear streaming down your cheek and onto your neck, "I can't, it feels so good, I can't-" you whimper, a direct contradiction to the shaking quiver of your thighs as you roll your hips, savoring the feel of Joel's thick tongue against you.

he hums lowly at your hip's movements and it makes you scream; the vibration and the nudge of his nose on your clit too much-

it hits you all at once.

you can't see anything; your hand flies to the sheets as one hand pushes Joel hard away, euphoria slamming into you harder than you ever have.

you feel the pads of his fingers, swirling over your clit as your hips buck wildly. you're sobbing, a state of bliss you've never felt before. your orgasm lasts much longer than you'd expected, euphoria rolling in waves that keep coming to shore.

when you come to, pussy still clenching in residual flutters, you have to suck in a deep breath.

through your tears, you see Joel's face; the bottom half is soaked in your juices, even the mattress is damp from your high - oh. you didn't know you could do that.

he presses a kiss to your thigh - you jolt, whimpering lightly. he shushes you, hands finding your hips as you shake, trying to come down from that high. "four." he mutters, smirking as you groan, your head falling back. "fuck." you hiss, throat raw.

"that wasn't so hard, was it sweetheart?" he snarks, still not moving from between your thighs, though you're sure they're dead weight on top of his shoulders. says him.

"fuck you, Joel-" but your words stop short and you gasp, hands flying as you feel Joel's tongue lick up the side of your cunt; "I can't Joel-" you sob, shaking your head, "'s too much."

you're so overstimulated you feel like you're floating - but after your shock you realize he's avoiding the sensitive areas, gently swirling his tongue in your wetness. tasting you just for the sake of it. he just shushes you once again- "hey, hey," he soothes, hand petting your hip gently, "just tastin' it. gotta clean you up." you shouldn't, but you feel a hot flood of arousal just at his words. your hands relax in his hair as he slowly moves his mouth around you, avoiding your oversensitive clit mercifully.

"you just rest. did real good, sweetheart. was so fuckin' sexy." you can't rest, though your body slumps and your eyes shut - his tongue runs lazy, thick circles around your pussy, gentle. you can tell - it's not for you, and maybe it never really was; Joel's loving it, and he's not planning on stopping anytime soon.

and you stay like that - eyes closed, catching your breath and calming your tears, as Joel's hands run soothing shapes over your side and thighs, his mouth not leaving you for a second.

it was minutes, could have been almost an hour, and you slowly fell from your teetering edge of unraveling; instead, a slow burn was once again ignited in your stomach as Joel lapped away at you, eating you out gently and devotedly.

occasionally there was a groan or a moan from him, gentle - or a mutter into you about how good you tasted. you'd move your hips gently when something fluttered deliciously and you chased that feeling, thinking of all Joel's words tonight which have made you flush - and most of them praise.

he's like a man starved.

and by the time you start to climb that hill again, your muscles aching but pussy fluttering in desire, you're burning up. you cry again, gently.

he brings you to orgasm a fifth time with a moan into your pussy and your hand gripping his own for dear life.

he laps everything that spills from your weeping cunt as you let out a scream of his name, swallowed by the noise of the outside thunder. you shake and tremor, blissed beyond anything you've felt, tired and spent.

he holds himself to you and you have to twist, crawling away from the devilish mouth that calls your name, his hands gentle as he lets you go; finally having mercy on your destroyed body.

you feel like you're floating, unable to stop shaking.

it's then that he chooses to strip down to his boxers; you watch him with shock as he does so, unsure if he's going to propose you take his cock now - you don't know if you could.

instead, he drops a kiss to your forehead. "I'll be back."

he's in there long enough for you to deduce that he's decided to take care of himself on his own, in the shower - a decision that disappoints you but also seems very thoughtful. there's that flicker of selflessness you see sometimes in Joel - the things he tries to hide.

you hear the faucet running in the bathroom and when he comes back, there's a washcloth and a cup of water for you.

he doesn't wipe between your legs until you're done shaking - and after, you sit there, your hand curled around his bicep, while he soothes over a few strands of your hair.

"gonna need new candles." you mutter, nodding to where they all sit, dripped down to within an inch, wax splattered atop your table and over the side of the foot chest.

"I'll get you a million candles 'f you let me taste you like that again." his chest rumbles as he speaks. a flicker of butterflies once again appear in your chest and you shrug, "I know I said I like when it isn't rough..." you trail off, face burning, "-but none of them ever did... any of that. and I really liked that."

besides, you both knew the moment it left your mouth that your words weren't true - in honesty, Joel has done nothing but rough you up and you always crawl back for more. you wouldn't have it any other way.

he scoffs, "good thing you're mine now." he mutters, "taste like fuckin' heaven. could watch you squirm all day." he drops a kiss to your temple and your eyes bore down at your lap; his words hold a semblance of possessiveness - not unfamiliar to this thing that you have with him, but now much more meaningful to you. why is your heart fluttering so fast, a grin growing on your face?

he clears his throat after a moment, shifting to sit up. in the process, your arm falls from his and you turn to look at him.

"do you remember last time I was in here?" he asks suddenly and you have to snort. "was dying of infection, yes I remember."

he sends you a look. "you were not dyin'. don't be dramatic." he counters, eyes narrowed.

you grin, rolling your eyes, "you were the one who was acting like it was such a big deal." you defend with a shake of your head. he sighs, "well I-" he stops short and it occurs to you that he's having trouble getting words out.

you look into his eyes gently, and he's searching yours. you're not sure what he's looking for. "shit," he mumbles, looking slightly lost - you've seen him like this, before - once.

"I'm tryin' to be less...mean. when it counts." he says intently, looking at you. "y'know, after we talked, and I..."

he trails off but you wait patiently for him to find his words.

he finds them eventually. "-well, that time I was here, when I helped you with your bandage..." he stutters his way through it and takes a deep breath. "I said something, that night." he starts again, running his hand over his face.

"you tend to say a lot of things when we're together." you supplement, your heartrate picking up. you're starting to feel your fight or flight kick in.

he rolls his eyes. "yeah, well. I said... that you were probably hopin' I would want t'make you my girl." oh. yes, you remember that. "-and I said that it was pathetic you'd think that." he says, not looking at you.

you too look away; yes, he's said many cruel things to you - that one, in particular, has haunted you many nights after waking up from dreams of warmth and sunshine and Joel's hand in yours.

"one of your best lines yet." you say, unsure what else to do. your gut twists in rejection at just the memory - then, it'd been in the heat of an argument and you'd just used it as kindling to fuel your fire, but it has since become a more prevalent proof every time you start to think too much about the what ifs.

Joel isn't amused by your words. "I'm just saying, if you did ever want somethin' like that - not that you would, but...it wouldn't be pathetic." he finally finishes. "it was a stupid thing to say." he mumbles quickly, still looking away - through the dim glow of the dying candles, you can see the red on his cheeks.

you feel hot, the implications of his words. he wouldn't mind if you wanted him to be yours. if you wanted to be his. your stomach flips.

grazing your hand over his back, you brush your lips to his shoulder. "you didn't mean it. we say a lot of things we don't mean. both of us." you answer softly, your lips caressing his bare shoulder. you feel the goosebumps under you across his skin at the touch and fight a small smile.

“remember when I tried to hit you?” you ask, thinking back to that disastrous dinner and the delicious aftermath on his foyer floor.

he smirks, finding the courage to look down at you. “think ‘bout it a lot.”

you hit his shoulder playfully, shaking your head with your own wry grin. of course he does.

he looks at you faintly, a hint of a smile flickering over his face. "we've been through a lot of shit together." he murmurs. he eyes the dresser across from you, lit up by a candle; you don't know how, but somehow he pinpoints exactly where you've hidden your gun, in your sock drawer. and he probably knows exactly why it's hidden.

"-don’t get me wrong, I like this thing we got goin’ for us, with the teasing and fighting - but I just want you to know I trust you. and I care about you." he says just as gently, his face flustered. your face heats at his words, a gust of affection blowing through you at his bashfulness.

you smile, leaning in to him; your hands snake around his neck as you gently pull his face to you. he finds more words, "sometimes you're a pain in my ass-" he raises a brow before you can snap back at him- "-but nothing you could do is... pathetic. 'specially not thinking something like that."

his eyes are large and hold none of the desire that they did thirty minutes ago; instead they hold something much deeper, more vulnerable. you don't feel scared by it.

you smile, "I trust you, Joel." his eyes stare into yours unafraid. "thank you. I care about you too."

and you're not ready to say everything else to him - no, not yet, even though your heart's known it for a while and so have you, somewhere in the back of your mind.

you do want something like that. you want exactly that.

"-and," he starts, "since this was your idea of something more civilized," he sends you a look through the corner of his eye; you know this isn't the worst of your sins committed with Joel, but you recognize his sentiment with a smirk, thinking back to your earlier words. you hide your growing smile as he adds:

"-maybe we could get drinks sometime."

taglist closed - this is the last fic that will be using my taglist. moving on, I've made a notifs blog - @tremendumnotifs - for ppl to follow for notifications. tysm!!]

@elissaaa @satansgoatt @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @silencesscreams @silkiers @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspams @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @buckyhoney @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @notsosecretspy @okyeeaaahhhh @thirdoffive @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @cutesyscreenname @wannab-urs @soooooyesbutactually-no @redhotkitchen @omlwhatamidoinghere @joelapologist2001 @leeeesahhh @bitchyikes @bigboiseason123 @furseal1986 @mumma-moonchild @kamcrazy123 @pseudonymist @xyz32 @xlengueterax @suzmagine @sushiwriterhere @yourwinchesterbros @littlesuckyducky @worhols @hearthrooob @thatgingefromtheinternet @grhowls @letterstopedrito @those-late-night-feels @trashmuseum @holeforjoel @charismatic-writer @nervous-plant @sushiumex @undrthelights @tarcinblue @fleursdecherise @alltheseperfectimperfections @whorror-s @thecasualnope @scarletthefierce

#let’s chat abt mr miller #joel miller smut #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us (tv)#the last of us smut #joel the last of us #joel x reader smut #joel x reader #joel smut

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prickly-paprikash · 7 months

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I have two major criticisms for the first season of Nocturne.

The pacing and the villains.

In the original series, Seasons 1 & 2 are basically just one whole season in and of themselves. It is a focused narrative that doesn't spend a single moment wasting plot or character development.

Whenever the episodes decide to slow down, it feels deliberate. The down times in the first two seasons were rich with character interaction that helped attachments grow and allow the plot to flourish organically.

The best examples of this are when we explore Isaac and Hector's pasts; and when Trevor, Alucard and Sypha arrive at the Belmont hold. There was a rhythm to the seasons. Dialogue, conversations, contest of philosophies, witty banter, and hard truths. Then we transition smoothly to excellently animated and choreographed fight scenes that have weight because we saw these characters humanized in various ways beforehand.

For the villains, Dracula was impeccable. Weak. Starving. Exhausted. Suicidal. His grief and his hatred loomed like a shadow over every single character and plotline throughout the two seasons, and the effects of his demise echoed until the very end.

Castlevania had its flaws. It had its weaknesses. Especially when it was cut to four seasons when it really should have been five. But it was nevertheless a focused narrative.

Nocturne, for all its excellence, does have some glaring flaws that are hard to overlook.

Erzsebet feels threatening and powerful, but the more I watched the show, the more it felt like these were because of purely aesthetic reasons. Don't get me wrong—her design is gorgeous, her past seems rich with potential for the narrative, and I loved how she struck the fear of god in every hero the moment she stepped into the Abbey. But she isn't Dracula-levels of impactful.

Olrox and Drolta did most of the heavy lifting. In the first Castlevania, even when Dracula wasn't the main arc villain, his presence was felt. Erzsebet doesn't have that same weight. She feels... empty at times, as a villain.

That can definitely be fixed in season 2 and I pray that the showrunners prove me wrong. I love being proven wrong because that means the show continues to grow.

The second criticism is pacing. God, the pacing.

Nocturne at times felt all over the place.

Annette's plot of her escaping the clutches of slavery? The way we saw her perspective on the Haitian Revolution? So fucking good. Richter's struggles? Emotionally rich and hooks us immediately. It's the constant, almost dizzying shifts between them, the Abbey, Drolta, Edouard, and the past that drags it down just a bit.

I loved Nocturne. A solid 8/10 for me and I am dying in the dirt waiting for the next season.

But I think the show should've been 10 episodes to accommodate the ensemble cast and their varying plots, and I hope that Erzsebet is improved upon as a villain, a threat, and a character.

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania #richter belmont #annette castlevania #annette #erzsebet bathory #olrox #netflix castlevania #alucard #adrien tepes

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youremyheaven · 1 month

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Uttara Bhadrapada & Revati: Psychic Insight, Time Travel & Dreams

In my last post about Punarvasu & Swati, I had briefly gone into their association with time travel but in my research since I have found that Pisces rashi (0-3 degress Purvabhadrapada, Uttarabhadrapada & Revati) is also connected to time travel, as well as with psychic powers and using these abilities to solve crimes, prevent disasters or save others. This is an important distinction because not everybody uses their paranormal/supernatural powers to do good necessarily.

The word spirituality has been so over used in the last decade or so that it has now kind of lost all meaning as most people don't understand it in its true sense of transcending the material but instead as a way to play around with crystals or tarot or astrology, engaging with these tools in the most shallow way possible and using it as a balm to remain in the loop of earthly attachment.

Some people are born with an inherent understanding of what it means to be connected to the spirit. Due to the way religion & belief are often structured, not all of these people will identify their own beliefs as spiritual ones but you've got to admit that some people are just naturally intuitive and capable of understanding things in a way that goes beyond education or any taught knowledge. What is intuition though? Is it just a profound inner knowing? Usually, it is a combination of several things, including observational skills, the ability to be perceptive and understand what lies beyond the surface, deduction etc. Intuition isn't always knowledge from the beyond but it can also refer to the ability to read a room or a person and be emotionally intelligent enough to behave accordingly.

I am by no means suggesting that all Pisces natives are this way. They are not. But I have noticed several Pisces natives possessing a heightened sense of perception & intuition. This is just water sign culture tbh and as you'll see in the post, also extends to other rashis/nakshatras.

Derren Brown, the British magician & mentalist is a UBP Moon. He's a skeptic himself and has repeatedly said he does not possess any psychic powers but he's never really gone into his methods either. You could say that he has astute observational skills that makes his performances truly one of a kind but its pretty incredible to train yourself to do what he does; you can only build on the natural acumen you possess.

youtube

The Sixth Sense is a pretty iconic film in the "child has visions" genre and it stars Haley Joel Osment, Revati sun & mercury as well as Bruce Willis who is UBP Sun

Bruce also starred in a movie (also directed by M Night Shyamalan) called Unbreakable where his character has psychometric powers.

Psych is detective comedy drama series (very underrated imo) that features a guy who possesses eidetic memory and great observation skills and uses it to convince the police department he is a psychic.

James Roday Rodriguez who plays this character has Revati sun & mercury, Venus in Pisces (2 degree Purvabhadrapada )

Patricia Arquette stars as a psychic medium in the show Medium (honestly the police department x psychic consultant is one of my fav tropes of 2000s television). She has a Revati stellium (sun, saturn & rahu) and UBP mercury and venus.

Salma Hayek, UBP Moon, plays a psychic medium in House of Gucci (based on a true story)

Devon Sawa who played the main character on Final Destination (he has premonitions and tries to help others avoid death) has Ketu in UBP

Joan of Arc, UBP Moon went to King Charles at the age of 17 as she was guided by visions from the archangel Michael, Saint Margaret, and Saint Catherine to help him save France from English domination. Convinced of her devotion and purity, Charles sent Joan, to the siege of Orléans as part of a relief army. After several military defeats in which Joan played a role, she was put on trial by Bishop Pierre Cauchon on accusations of heresy, which included blaspheming by wearing men's clothes, acting upon demonic visions, and refusing to submit her words and deeds to the judgment of the church. She was declared guilty and burned at the stake on 30 May 1431, aged about nineteen.

Baffled is a movie about a race car driver who has psychic visions. He is played by Leonard Nimoy who has UBP Sun, Mercury in Revati (amatyakaraka) & Rahu and Swati Rising (Swati is a nakshatra that is associated with ESP but more on that later).

The Dead Zone is about a man who wakes up from a 5yr coma and learns he has psychic abilities. Christopher Walken who plays this man has Revati sun & UBP mercury (being in a coma/waking up from sleep is also a very Pisces theme a la Sleeping Beauty)

In Doctor Sleep, a sequel to The Shining, Ewan McGregor plays Danny Torrance (who has psychic abilities). He has UBP Sun

Harry's ability to see things is kinda overlooked (in Goblet of Fire for instance when he makes those predictions in Trelawney's class). We know that he sees a lot of stuff due to his connection with the Dark Lord but still. Harry's intuition has saved his ass on more than one occasion. Daniel Radcliffe has UBP Moon.

The Initiation of Sarah is a movie about a nice girl who is bullied by her sorority sisters and then unleashes her psychic powers to get even. Kay Lenz who plays her has Mars in Revati atmakaraka, UBP mercury (swati moon & rising)

Nostradamus who had prophetic visions of the future (many of which have come true) had Rahu & Rising in UBP

This brings me to Pisces' connection to time travel because if you think about it having premonitions and making prophecies is tied to an ability to see into the future; you are mentally time travelling.

I have noticed that in several instances Pisces natives are cast in time-travel movies.

Nathan Fillion who was in Firefly & Serenity (time travel series & movie) had UBP sun, Revati moon atmakaraka

Bliss (2021) a movie about alternate realities accessed through drug induced hallucinations??? (i dont know for sure the plot is kinda dense) stars Salma Hayek, UBP Moon and Owen Wilson, Swati Moon with Saturn in Revati atmakaraka

Predestination is a time travel movie starring Sarah Snook who has Revati moon & jupiter

Joseph Gordon Levitt, UBP rising stars in the time-travel movie Looper as a hitman from the future who has to kill himself.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is a movie about a girl who can travel through time, its directed by Mamoru Hosoda who has UBP Moon and Saturn

La Jetee is an experimental French short film about a man who travels through time to understand the past/present/future of WW3. Its directed by Chris Marker who has Ketu in Revati

Pisces is kind of obviously connected to the story of Sleeping Beauty (I'll explore this more in a separate post) but I think Pisces and dreaming (not sleeping but dreaming) are also connected.

Joseph Gordon Levitt, UBP Rising stars in Inception a movie about dream thieves essentially

Werner Krauss, Ketu in Revati starred in The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1920) as a hypnotist who uses a somnambulist to commit murders.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Science of Sleep etc was made my Michel Gondry who has Venus in Revati amatyakaraka (he is also Punarvasu Rising but I'll discuss more in my post about Surrealism)

Dreams (1990) is a movie by Akira Kurosawa and is based on 8 dreams he had. He is UBP Sun & Punarvasu Rising

Dreams That Money Can Buy is a surrealist film about a guy who sells his dreams to others. Its directed by Hans Richter who has Revati Sun

All of Miyazaki's movies have a dream-like quality and one is literally a dream (won't spoil by saying which one hehe). He is UBP Moon.

I have noticed many Shatabhisha natives be drawn to similar themes and tropes in their work.

Dreamscape is a movie about a psychic who works for the President of America. Its directed by Joseph Ruben who is Shatabhisha Sun & Jupiter (he also has Venus in UBP) and stars Dennis Quaid (Punarvasu Moon) as the psychic.

Firestarter is a movie about a child with psychic powers and stars Drew Barrymore who is Shatabhisha Sun & Punarvasu Moon

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Shatabhisha Moon starred in The Ghost Whisperer as a person who can communicate with ghosts.

Sissy Spacek starred in Carrie about a girl who has supernatural powers. She has Shatabhisha Moon

Scott Bakula who starred in Quantum Leap, a TV series about a scientist stuck in time, has Shatabhisha Moon

I hope this post was interesting and informative, pls lmk if you have any other examples!!

#vedic astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #astro observations #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #astrology #astroblr #pisces #revati #uttarabhadrapada #purva bhadrapada

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torialefay · 4 months

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🪐 The Night He Took You 🦂

A part 2 to Venus in Scorpio (requested)

bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! 🔞 (astrology based)

✨bangchan x reader (f); SMUT SMUT SMUT

✨request: “Would you possibly do some more for you n channie going further ? I feel like with his need to be in you, any way he can, he would absolutely cum in you....”

✨wc: 5.3k (i got so carried away lol)

✨***if you haven’t read part one, PLEASE do so before reading this! it sets the scene and explains from the astrology aspect. this is only a follow up and will not contain any more natal chart readings. head to my masterlist here to read!!!

✨i promise the rest of the series won’t be entirelyyyy smut. but it’ll definitely be there (hehe sorry, but also not really. we’re all sluts over here reading it anyways.)

✨ warning: this turned into the absolute sluttiest, smuttiest thing i've ever written. minors DNI!! cursing.

• You looked up longingly at your boyfriend who was situated just over top of you. You were laid on your bed, back down, with him using your lower body as support and his arms extended to hover himself above you. You reached your hand up to caress his cheek and pull his face down closer to yours. You needed his kiss just as much as any other part of him.

• Chan rutted his hips into yours, giving some much needed pressure to his hardening dick which was still fully clothed. It had been almost 6 months. 6 months of knowing you. 5 months of pining over you. 4 months of doing everything in his power not to give up his own self to obsess over you. 3 months of chasing after you. 2 months of dates. And finally 1 month of getting to call himself your boyfriend. And soulmate too, he was sure of it.

• And here he was, 6 months later, with his dream girl underneath him. 'Fuck' he thought, 'how did I ever make it here?' He stared at your lips. How beautiful and pink they were, slightly parted for him. Your big eyes, full of innocence and pure wonder, looking at him with so much conviction.

• So many nights he spent fighting off his instinct to rip into you. He was just a man after all. But he knew he needed to do it another way. He knew he needed to wait for the right time. You were the right girl, so it only made sense. Tonight would be the night that he finally would pledge himself to you. All of himself. It wasn't so much that he was excited about it as it was that he NEEDED it. He couldn't stand his body living in 1 inch of separation from yours. He was ready to throw himself all into you. To devote his heart and soul to you forever. With every breath he had, with every ounce of his being, he needed to adhere himself to you. He needed to live inside of you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He needed to know that wherever he was, you would be there as a part of him. No matter how far away. And vice versa. Tonight, with his mind dipped in the thought of you becoming only his… tonight, he would finally take you.

• Still towering over you, he leaned down into your kiss. His mind went blank, focusing only on the movement of your mouth. How right it felt over top of his. He wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to take it slow. But God, you made it hard.

• Slowly, he worked one hand up your body and neck, around to the side of your head. He ran his fingers into your hair, resting his thumb at the very edge of your jaw. Now having full control of your head, he turned it to the side, allowing himself access to push his mouth deeper into the kiss. He licked at the split between your lips slowly, silently begging you to open them for him. He smiled into the kiss when he was met with no resistance. His tongue quickly found its way to yours, sliding across, up and down, however you would allow it. He went deeper and deeper until he was sure he would fall in. Falling into you surely wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. ‘In fact’, he thought, ‘I couldn’t ask for anything better.’ Getting completely, hopelessly, entirely lost in you is all he could ever want. To become one with his baby.

• Chan was ready to throw himself fully into you. “Can I?” he asked, tugging at the hem of your shirt. You didn’t respond, just put your hand over his and slowly had him pull up on the top until it was over and off your head. His heart melted at you guiding him to what you wanted. You never let go of the contact, wanting as much heat of his skin as you could get. You lead his hand slowly back down, dragging along your face and down to your neck, before slowly resting over top of one breast. You moved your hand around over top of his to signal for him to begin.

• ‘Fucking hell,’ Chan thought, feeling how soft your were under his touch. He felt the contrast of your skin to the hard raise of your nipple. He couldn’t believe that he had done that to you. That all of your beauty was exclusively for him. He did that to you. He’d be the last one to ever do that to you. ‘My perfect baby.”

• He slowly began to trace small circles around one nipple, closely examining your reaction. He had to be perfect for you. Seeing you smile and let out a breath, his ego built a little. He slowly ducked his head down towards your other breast. Mimicking what he’d done with the other, he wondered how you would respond to his tongue. He held eye contact with you, waiting for any sign of hesitancy. Instead, he was met with your hand tousling into his curls, lightly stroking along his crown. Chan almost exploded at the feeling of you touching him so gently, with so much love and care. He refused to believe that all of this was his. This was his life now, and it was utterly perfect.

• His tongue drew small circles around one nipple while his hand gently worked around the other one. He made sure to go lightly, not to tease you but to make sure you weren’t overwhelmed and wanted to stop. Holding onto your gaze, he watched as you slowly writhed under the tiny strokes he was making on you. You squirmed as the pressure started to build, making you throb below and grow wetter and wetter.

• Chan couldn’t contain himself at the sight. Something almost animalistic came over him. What it was, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he wanted to completely demolish you. ‘Mine. ALL fucking mine,’ he thought. At that, he bit down hard on your nipple, sending a shock of pleasure and pain that you’d never felt before. He started to flick his tongue quickly around it, and you felt a warm sensation come over you. You looked down at Chan to see that he was still staring at your face waiting to see your reaction. Waiting to see what he did to you. You gripped onto his hair tighter, pushing him down onto you. You needed to feel him as close as possible. He got the hint and latched on, biting down with everything he had. For the first time, he felt like he was consuming you. Actually consuming you. He felt his dick harden as he thought about your body giving in totally to him. How good you took him and let him do whatever he pleased. It was almost as if your body was his own, so he could do whatever he wanted. And fuck did that make him want more.

• He moved to the other breast, continuing his rounds. He was determined to mark your whole body. To bite into you every chance he got. He would mark you until you couldn’t look at one single part of your body without remembering whose you were. His tongue flicked back and forth aggressively, like he was starved and would take whatever you could give him.

• “Chrisss,” you moaned out, becoming almost unbearably aware of the wetness heightening between your legs. You were on fire for his touch anywhere you could get it, yes. But you needed so much more. “Chris please,” you writhed underneath him.

• His name. Fuck, why did you have to say his name. “Baby,” he breathed out, his hot breath again your nipple, making you shiver. “Fuck, say it again,” he growled. You’d never seen this side of him. “Please God, fucking say it again,” almost an anger was in in voice.

• “Chris, baby, please. I need more of you. I need all of you.”

• That’s all it took. He was ballistic now. In one pulse, he was pulled up to your eye level. He looked at your face for a fleeting moment, admiring how beautiful you looked for him. Only fleeting though. He roughly took your face in his hands, almost smothering. “You’re going to look at me with those pretty eyes for the rest of the night, understand? You are mine, y/n. All fucking mine. Tonight, I will be the only thing on your mind. Focus on me. You got it?” he huffily snarled out.

• “Yes, Chris. Make me yours. Now. Please. I’m yours, I’m all yours.” You strained, trying to get the last part out. You could hardly breathe, blood rushing to your head. Your eyes almost rolled back. Chan picked up on how you responded to his new-found rage, he wondered how much further he could take you. He didn’t mean to feel that way- rage. It just washed over him. Not because he was upset with you, but because he was upset with the situation. He was overtaken with a type of mania because it was so fucking unfair that whatever he did, he could never get close to you. He could lay on top of you, have his dick inside of you, connect his tongue to yours, consume you from the inside out and it still wouldn’t be enough. You were his in this life, and that was good. But he needed you to be his in the next life, and the one after. He needed to own your soul.

• He quickly looked down at you, lustful as he’d ever been. His hands moved quickly from your jaw down to your throat. He squeezed down. Hard. Harder. Hardest. You turned red, then pale. This was the most beautiful he’s ever seen you. He hovered his face over yours in a smirk, watching as you gasped for air. He released one hand slightly, alleviating only a tiny amount of pressure before pressing right back in. Your head had fallen backwards, so he moved his own to be directly looking into you. “Breathe out. Breathe into me,” he instructed.

• A look of power came over his face as he couldn’t stop smiling at you. The way that you were choked up for him. The way that he needed you to give the last of your breath to him. “Open and give me a breath,” he whispered.

• You pursed your lips slightly and puffed out everything you could. You turned blue and felt the lack of oxygen in your brain. Your vision went blurry. The last thing you saw was Chan’s mouth hovering just over yours, taking a deep inhale through his mouth, like he had been craving it this whole time. He closed his mouth as to not let any of the air back out and took a deep swallow.

• His grip quickly loosened, and you leaned up off the bed gasping for air. “My perfect girl,” he whispered into your ear, nipping at it softly while you caught your breath. The sudden rush of air into your lungs mixing with the 180 of Chan’s actions sent you spiraling.

• He took your neck in his hands again, not squeezing this time but gaining control of your head. He tilted it back slightly and leaned down so he was only an inch from your face. “Open up baby. You’ve got to breathe me in too.” You parted your mouth, as instructed, not able to open up all the way. “Just like that,” he purred, satisfied. “You’re gonna have a part of my soul too now, okay?”

• You nodded in response, keeping your mouth parted open for him. “In through your mouth,” he instructed. His lips parted slightly, blowing a cool breath into your lips. His breath turned hot once he had strained to get out all he could. He watched as you took in all you could, gulping when you knew you’d reached the end. He sealed your mouth with a kiss so full of passion you hoped it would never stop. “You and I until the very end, yeah?”

• “And beyond,” you smiled up at him, batting your eyes slowly opened and closed. He reciprocated the smile, eyes now full of love instead of lust.

• He whispered quietly, almost as if he didn’t know if he wanted you to hear it or not. “The heart of my heart. The breath of my breath. The spirit of my spirit. I could never love anything more than you in this moment.”

• He moved down on your body, trailing kisses until he reached your underwear line. He took his time pulling your bottoms and underwear off, continuing his trail of kisses down your legs. Slowly he kissed, as if each touch to your skin was the first time. Once he reached the end of your leg, he removed the clothes completely. He quickly pulled his top off revealing his beautiful, toned torso and chest. You could see his traps sticking up from behind his back. That was your favorite part of him. Those broad shoulders always took your breath away.

• “You are so perfect, Channie,” you muttered just loud enough for him to hear. A blush spread across his face as he looked down. He got so shy every time you complimented him. He always insisted you didn’t, but you knew he secretly loved it.

• He continued his path to taking off his clothes, quickly pulling his boxers and shorts off while still on his knees in between you. Once they were off, he looked down to you, admiring every last inch. Your face had to have gone red, you thought, when you saw him look down at the area he had set out to discover, biting his lip and grabbing hard onto your inner thighs. He gripped tightly and massaged them back and forth, back and forth, looking intently the entire time. His hands let loose and he slowly dragged them up your thighs and around the sides and top of your vagina- ever so slowly.

• ‘Jesus Christ this girl of mine,’ Chan thought. He felt saliva build up in his mouth. ‘This is all yours Chris. Fuck, this is all yours,” he massaged you. He was determined to give you the most perfect, most beautiful, soul-bonding night of your life. Was it for him too? Of course. But now, you were a part of him. Pleasing you was pleasing himself.

• Once he was satisfied with rubbing his hands into you, he slowly lowered himself to put half of his body onto you. One leg to the side of your thigh and one arm resting to the side of your torso. His heart swelled as he saw you bring your hand up to hold it on his chest right above his heart.

• Chan leaned down to give you a soft kiss. “Wanted to be closer to you,” he sheepishly smiled. You smiled back.

• “Love you, Channie,” you smiled up at him, pushing your hand harder into his chest to feel his heartbeat.

• “I love you too.” He leaned his head to the side to open his mouth and plant sloppy kisses against your neck. He bit down just enough to leave a mark, and he knew it. “Let me show you how much I love you,” he mumbled into your hair.

• In one swift motion, he snaked his hand back down your body until he was just covering the top of your cunt. Finally, he started to rub, leisurely taking his time. He was so tauntingly slow, you wiggled underneath him yet again. You removed your hand from his chest and pushed it down to rest on top of his. You pushed on his hand, agging him on to go faster.

• “No, princess. Let me take my time,” he whispered into your ear with a hot breath. He was driving you fucking crazy. The way he felt slowly made you feel warm and fuzzy. It also made you feel like you were going to explode any second if you didn’t get more. You started reflexively bucking your hips up into his hand. You didn’t even realize you were doing it.

• ‘Holy shit,’ Chan thought, smiling into your hair. Feeling you rut into his hand made all of the blood in his body rush to his dick. He slipped two fingers into the middle of you, covering his them to get them lubricated. ‘So fucking wet, Jesus Christ,’ he almost threw his head back thinking about how he was the one who made you get so worked up. His fingers started to trace around your clit slowly. He felt your breathing stop, and he lifted himself slightly to get a good look at your face. You had your head leaned back, eyes closed tight, mouth dropped open. ‘This is just the fucking start baby, just you wait,’ he thought to himself, smiling down at you. ‘I’m gonna take you so fucking good.’ He sped his fingers up, gaging how you would react. Your breathing got heavier and heavier. Your hands balled up into fists around the bed sheets. ‘Look at you,’ he thought. ‘So good for me so easily.’

• The faster he went, the harder it was for you to keep control. Your head started spinning and you felt a throbbing throughout your whole body. You threw yourself into Chan’s chest, trying to bury yourself away. It felt too good. Chan instinctively pushed his chest down into you, pushing you deep into the bed and shielding you from the outside word. From inside the cage he made for you with his body, all you could hear was his heart beat continuing to quicken, and all you could feel was his quick fingers working you to your breaking point.

• “Channie… Channie… Please baby, GOD!” you yelled out, screaming into his chest.

• He let out a deep growl. “Mmmmm,” he grunted out. “Do you want to come baby?”

• “Yes, yes! Oh God yes. Please don’t stop. Please don’t stop!” He kept the pace up with his fingers, about to send you over the edge. His face ducked down to nuzzle into your neck, planting kisses and bites on top of the ones he’d already left.

• You were getting so close. Each flick of his fingers felt like it would be the one to push you over the edge. You felt the familiar feeling of your legs starting to curl up. “FUCK. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” you kept repeating to him.

• “Yeah baby?” Chan brought his forehead to yours, one hand around your neck, now starting to press down. “I want to hear you fucking scream for me y/n. Scream for me. Scream into me. You’re not doing anything else without me anymore, do you understand? You better fucking give it all to me right fucking now. Scream for me!!!”

• Your whole body let go like fireworks were exploding inside of you. “CHRIS. CHRIS. Holy fuck. CHRIS,” you started to cry out. The whole time, Chan’s face was pressed up right next to yours, lips open yet again, like he was trying to devour every last word you screamed out.

• “Aaaahh,” he growled at you, going harder at your clit. You body went catatonic, shaking and unable to move. He just held you down in that position and swatted at your hands from trying to stop him.

• “Chris I can’t do it anymore!” you screamed out to him. Tears were streaming from your eyes.

• “You can and you will. You are going to cum for me again, do you hear me? You are going to give me the last fucking drop of energy in your body. You are MINE, y/n. Start acting like it and give yourself up.”

• Your entire face was covered in tears at this point. It felt so good, but it was just all so much. His touch was unrelenting, and every thrash of your body was met with Chan’s own pinning you down. He wasn’t going to let off one bit until you had another orgasm for him.

• You felt it slowly creeping up again in your stomach. This time even warmer than before. From the look on Chan’s face, he knew it too.

• “That’s right pretty girl, give it to me. It’s okay, you can let it out. Cry if you have to, but let it out for me,” he coached you. He wasn’t lying. You were a fucking mess, drool everywhere, hands red from pulling at anything you could, and laying in a puddle of your own tears.

• You felt it again. There it goes, a shockwave starting in your clit. It shocked down to your toes and suddenly climbed it’s way up each leg. Chan let out a small chuckle when he felt your body convulse underneath his. You lost all control of your body. Not a single thought was left in your mind. You didn’t know anything anymore. You couldn’t utter a single word, only hold your breath and ride it out. It felt too fucking good. You cried and cried and cried until your body finally relaxed.

• Finally being able to catch your breath, you couldn’t stop your tears from coming out. One after another, they kept tumbling off your face. You were too overstimulated and too exposed to do anything else. You felt like a part of you had been released out of your body.

• “Shhhh, baby, shhhh,” Chan pet your head as he held it in place with one hand, kissing your forehead. “I’m here, I’m here. It’s okay,” he cooed. He continued kissing your forehead and petting your head, but the tears didn’t stop.

• Normally Chan would be concerned. But this time, it only agged him on. His baby was crying for him. His dick grew harder and harder at the sight of how beautiful you looked crying. The most raw emotions on total display for him to watch. He was in awe. This is what it was like to have a love. To have someone that you would give everything to. And he did mean everything.

• You were trying to compose yourself. Trying to contain your cries. “Channie, I- I love you,” you finally got out in a quiet tone.

• “I love you too baby. That’s why I have to do this.” You looked into his eyes as he slowly lined himself up at your entrance and started pushing into you. He went so slowly, it was like he was waiting for you to give him a sign. This new feeling wasn’t like the last- no. With him on your clit, it felt like love in its most lustful form. But this, this feeling of him being inside of you was way more than lust. It had to be in its own category. ‘This’, you thought, ‘is love in its most unadulterated, most lavish, and most whole form.’

• Chan couldn’t believe that he was finally fucking you. Scratch that, he wasn’t fucking you. He was making love to you in its most pure structure. He felt how tight you were as he slowly pulled himself in and out of you. He studied your face for any change in expression. You still had a few tears coming out, yes, but the look on your face seemed to have changed. Were you smiling?

• “Feels good, yeah princess?” He whispered against your neck while pushing himself deeper and deeper with each stroke.

• “Yes Channie. You feel so good. I feel so… full,” you breathed out, a big smile on your face with the occasional tear streaming down. These weren’t tears of overstimulation anymore, Chan realized. They were tears of love. And that got him more than anything this entire night.

• Chan put his whole body on top of you, squeezing you down into the mattress and resting his head right on top of yours, nose to nose and mouth lingering just above yours.

• “I want you to look at me baby,” he started, eyes full of passion. “I want you to look at me until we’re done, okay? Keep those big, beautiful eyes on me. I fucking love you more than anything in this world, y/n. You’re all mine now. No one else’s. I will love you and I will be with you in your very core until the day you die, don’t ever forget that.” His words grew harsher as he started thrusting into you harder.

• “My beautiful girl, why are you crying?” He wiped at a tear and kissed over your cheek, never letting up on his speed.

• “I just- I really fucking love you Channie. I fucking love you and I love the way you feel and I love you in your body, mind, and spirit. And god, I just fucking love adore you,” you cried out with a sense of defeat in your voice.

• A nerve struck Chan with that one. He could feel his whole body start to turn hot as he began to thrust even harder. “I fucking love you too baby. With everything in me. I’m gonna show it to you. I’m gonna cum inside you, yeah?” He picked up the pace even more- faster, harder. You remained with your eyes on his the whole time.

• “You’re gonna be good for me and let me use you? Let me breed you however the fuck I want? Let me go again and again until I put a baby inside you?” He clasped his hands into a fist above your head, holding his forearms tight around the sides of your head to anchor you in place below him. He was going as hard as he possibly could. You’d never seen him in this state before. His eyes were staring into you, hungry for more than just your body, but for your entire being. He was going to absolutely wreck you before it was over with, but God it felt so good. You felt so full, and you started to get hit in just the right spot inside. Over and over, he kept hitting it. So deep, you thought you were going to scream.

• “Yes, yes. Breed me. Do whatever you want. I will be a good girl for you. I will give you everything you want,” you roughly replied. You started to move your hips up with every thrust he gave, as if he could get even the slightest bit deeper inside you. You felt it though, and he did too.

• “You ARE a good girl for me, aren’t you baby? Because you were MADE for me. Say it. Say you were made for me,” he yelled, still piercing straight into you.

• “I was made for you, Channie!” you panted, about to lose your shit. If he kept this up, you were going to cum again. He felt too good. Every inch made you lose your breath.

• You watched as Chan put his mouth right on top of yours, not for a kiss, but just as a resting point. You thought you felt a tear drop down onto your face. You pulled your head back just the slightest to get a better look at him. Sure enough, he was crying. Silently albeit, but crying nonetheless. You felt him lock his strong arms around your head even tighter, gripping onto your hair now to stabilize himself as he reached his peak of hard, sloppy thrusts. He was all but throwing himself into you.

• “Who do you belong to?!” He cried out. “WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?”

• “You!” was all you could muster back.

• “And who do I belong to?”

• “Me!! You’re mine, you’re all fucking mine, Christopher. Fucking give it to me as hard as you can goddamn it!” By this point, the tears were there to stay. This was your man in his simplest form. Just a beautifully aching soul who wanted to have someone to belong to.

• “This is what I’ve finally waited for.” Chan slammed into you, tears now streaming in waves down his face. You rolled your hips into his at an even faster pace, needing to explode all over him. And needing him to explode inside of you. “I waited for you for so fucking long.” He almost choked on his own words, crying out while saying them. “And finally I got my prize. You, my beautiful girl.” Deeper thrust. “We will never be alone again.” Deeper thrust and an even deeper cry. “Together forever okay? Until my last breath I will fucking love you.” Deeper thrust, sobs coming uncontrollably. He continued to pound into you as you cried out.

• “I’m cumming, baby, I’m cumming!” you screamed, pulling his face to latch his lips onto yours. You heard him scream into your mouth as you twitched all around him. You suddenly felt full up to the top of your head. This is the only thing you would ever need again. You wrapped your legs tightly around his torso, pulling him closer and rubbing yourself up and down on him to ride out your high.

• “Wrap your legs tight baby, I’m going to cum in you right fucking now. You better- FUCK,” he screamed into you as he felt you squeeze down onto him with your walls and with your legs. “You better take all of this fucking cum and hold it in there. You are going to HOLD IT IN. Looking so fucking pretty with my baby in you. Take it baby, FUCKING TAKE IT,” he yelled with a loud moan. He thrust as hard as he possible could, and yelled out all kinda of profanities when you felt him twitch inside of you, letting every last drop of cum out. You stayed flush against him with your legs wrapped around, writhing to ride him up and down to make sure he could ride out his high.

• “Fuck baby, fuck!” He screamed, trying to pull away from you, but you had him locked in. You kept going and going until he got his payback. Now HE was overstimulated. Crying again, you couldn’t help but have a grin on your face. Crying all for you. What a fucking beautiful man.

• Once his tears stopped and his breathing calmed a bit, you slowly stopped your moving up and down. You decided to keep him inside though, your legs still dangling around his sides.

• “Let’s stay like this for a minute, yeah?” Chan panted into your hair.

• You just smiled up into him, head smothered up to the side of his neck. Your heart was swollen to 10x its normal size.

• “You are so good for me,” he said after a few moments, finally looking down to kiss your forehead. “You know what this means?” He giggled down at you with the cheesiest grin on his face.

• “What’s that?” you looked up to his eyes. They were the prettiest shade of brown you had ever seen. You still felt so warm, so full, with his cock still living inside of you.

• “We are tied together forever now. Which means I get to haunt the shit out of you in every lifetime after this,” he laughed, squeaking a little at how funny he thought he was. There was your goofy boyfriend again. ‘Yeah, I could be content with this life,’ you thought.

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randomfoggytiger · 3 months

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Disproving CSM's Conjecture in En Ami

CSM postulates that Scully and Mulder aren't together because she doesn't fully trust him; that, although she's drawn to powerful men, she is afraid to open herself up to them.

"You'd die for Mulder, but you won't allow yourself to love him."

The problem is, he's wrong.

Because CSM mixed up her fatal flaw with Mulder's.

Self-Denial and Self-Sacrifice

CSM's theory: Scully rules herself by denial, and Mulder offers himself up as the sacrificial lamb. How is he wrong?

Scully's flaw is self-sacrifice, putting everything she covets from life on hold to join Mulder on his quest (comedically summed up in Bad Blood's "I do it all for you, Mulder! All for you!") The Starbuck-Ahab complex she harbored since childhood-- expressing her love through devotion-- kept her in the car the first year; but the Truth soon became as much about her losses as it did Mulder's tragedies. Unlike Mulder, however, Scully strives to have a life uncomplicated by mess and trauma and the constant grind. So, she sits in the car, year after year, waiting for her partner to adapt to their changing dynamic (which he did not do for almost six of those years.) Her own fears and insecurities are placed under the bootheel of the work; but when life becomes too complicated or emotionally clouded, Scully strikes out in confused rebellion (e.g. Never Again, Milagro, and All Things.) Moreover, Scully is the one who sacrificed what she held dear-- stability, a family, something other than 24/7 monsters and conspiracies-- to bear the cross of Mulder's quest, not the other way 'round. (The realization-- that she does want this life-- and shift does not occur until All Things, a few episodes after En Ami.)

Mulder's fatal flaw is self-denial (and self-punishment): he set aside a normal life out of a determination to find or avenge his sister. If Mulder was self-sacrificial, he would have let Scully walk out of his life a thousand times over and born that heartbreak silently, alone; instead, he stormed out after her and broke down his walls to convince her to stay. Furthermore, his self-denial is ever present even in tender moments, drawing away from emotional vulnerability once danger is past and shying away even faster if Scully draws attention to the present moment. Mulder is the one to deny himself love and a life with Scully (Home, Detour, Dreamland I, Arcadia, etc.), not the one who sacrificed everything he wanted to stay on his quest-- this is what he wants. (The change from obsessive pursuit to measured search begins in The Unnatural, changes wholly in Amor Fati and Millennium, and reaches its conclusion in Closure.)

CSM's Observations

The reality that CSM observed both agents for years and years and came to the exact opposite conclusion is baffling.

He concluded that Mulder sacrificed normalcy for the Almighty Mission, projecting his own Messiah complex onto his 'protege' and patting himself on the back whenever Mulder was, yet again, tossed to the jaws of Death for the "greater good." He also concluded that Scully stayed in the basement because of the raw power she smelled on Mulder, keeping a cold yet lustful distance because she was afraid to risk her womanly love on the all-consuming passion of his might.

How very dime store novel of Old Smokey.

Both assumptions are, of course, very wrong.

Mulder Dreaded "More" While Scully Hoped for It

Scully gave many unsubtle hints through the series that she was ready for more with Mulder: her willingness to go down with him in Tooms, her overt jealousy in Syzygy, her pointed inquiry about his family genetics in Home, her displacement and hurt in The Field Where I Died and Never Again and The End and The Beginning and One Son, her "we just keep driving" in Dreamland I, her unspoken 'secret' that was practically ripped from her chest in Milagro, her flirting in The Unnatural, her IVF request, and on and on.

Scully is by nature reticent with her emotions, fearful to fully open up lest she be hurt or become a burden; but in Mulder's case, she's reiterated over and over (Irresistible and Elegy) that their relationship falls into the latter, not former, category. In Emily she is, once again, "alone"; however, the context to her statement is vitally important. In the hospital, she hoped for Mulder to claim a place by her and her daughter's side as co-parent; but when he uncomfortably withdrew instead, it proved that he still wasn't ready for "more." Scully was alone in places Mulder couldn't fill; and so, she said goodbye to that hope, alone; then to her daughter, alone; and bore the little girl's death, alone. The burden of her fully opened heart was too heavy, she assumed, for Mulder... and in a way, she was right-- not until Fight the Future, when forced to confront "them", did Mulder finally acknowledge it. Until then, sacrificially tucking her heart back inside her chest-- for both their sakes-- was what Scully deemed the best course of action. She sticks around for her own reasons, as she says in Memento Mori; but those don't exclude the hope that Mulder will someday "settle down, live something approaching a normal life." (Her plans change in All Things-- but she's not there, yet.)

All those years, it was Mulder who was more emotionally distant. He was content with his life, happy to spin tires down the tarmac forever with his partner. Mulder was willing to deny himself into eternity if it meant not having to sacrifice an aspect of the life or career he was comfortable with and nervous to change for 'more.' It's why he was so afraid in Fight the Future and so proud of himself in The Unnatural (the warmup), Amor Fati (the big swing), and Millennium (the victorious homerun.) Scully is the only one-in-five billion he has: in the past, he could tease about passing genetic muster, about his boyish agility, about so much more, but to act on it? It took him four years to initiate a hug (post here) and seven years to approach a label of sorts for their relationship. Mulder's an overly cautious man, more pessimistic than optimistic when it comes to people sticking around; and any traditional, long-term relationship he'd witnessed had broken down or was held together by deadened respect and a few bratty kids.

Now it's Season 7, he's learned his lessons, and they're here, together.

Or were, until Scully dipped on a sketchy roadtrip with their enemy.

Conclusion

The most unrealistic part of this episode (amid a host of several others) was that Scully, despite hearing the drivel CSM peddled the entire drive, decided that he had anything worthwhile to say.

Thank you for reading~.

Enjoy!

#txf #Disproving CSM's Conjecture in En Ami #analysis #xf meta #meta #CSM #En Ami #Scully #Mulder #xfiles #x-files #the x files #mine

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tatzelwyrm · 1 year

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I'm having thoughts about Cal's panic attack after you escape the Lucrehulk that I can't articulate.

When they announced this game I was worried they might continue the plot but not be interested in hitting as hard emotionally as Fallen Order. After all, it's a hard thing to balance a player character's extreme emotional vulnerability with the power fantasy of cutting down stormtroopers in one hit and it's easy to alienate your audience if you overdo it.

Clearly, I was wrong to assume the developers weren't interested anymore in kicking Cal around and putting the results under a microscope. Both games in this series are angsty as hell (funny as hell, too, but that's beside the point). There is something so appealing (to me) about a video game - an action game at that - that is not only story driven but that's also extremely interested in being aware of the state of mind of its protagonist at all times and that trusts that its audience of gamers is just as invested in a deep dive into this poor guy's head as they are in maiming stormtroopers and making the lightsaber glow in their favourite colour.

That said, I am nowhere near done with this game, but I do expect satisfying pay-off for all the pain in the end, or else what is the point? (No spoilers please.)

#as far as im concerned #cal is on the same level of utterly perfect video game protagonist as arthur morgan #jedi survivor #cal kestis #jedi survivor spoilers #late night thoughts #i may regret posting this in the morning

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jujutsubaby · 3 months

Text

after hours (part 3)

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader, satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: the parent teacher night conference is here and you finally realize how popular toji is with all the women in megumi's school. good thing you're the only one who goes home with toji at the end of the day. ☆ tags: modernAU, babysitterAU ☆ warnings: 18+ !! MINORS DNI! dirty talk, foreplay, slight power dynamic, and more dirty talk. ☆ a/n: 3/3 on mentioning jacob elordi in this series should i kms 🤭 anyway this was only partial smut but i promise you toji is going to dick y/n down in the next chapter so hard (ᵔ.ᵔ) so get read for it 😈 also i'm rly liking where the story is going esp for toji x gojo x y/n ahhhh ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

“c’mon guys, i really need to figure out which outfit to wear!” you plead to shoko and utahime, while holding up a black jumpsuit on one hand and a black cocktail dress on the other. shoko and utahime are currently too busy building and decorating their joint animal crossing island to really pay attention to any of your bullshit (and you know it) but you cannot help but feel a bit anxious for tonight. you wanted to look good for dinner and toji, but also professional and respectable for the parent teacher conference.

utahime turns to you and frowns. “i just don’t think either of those are good, if i’m being honest…” she trails off. “i mean, who wears a cocktail dress to a parent teacher conference?”

shoko also turns around and sees the black cocktail dress and eyes it carefully, before finally recognizing it. “i’ve literally seen you wear that to a frat party and now you’re considering wearing that megumi’s school?” she questioned, looking skeptically at the dress.

“okay, so jumpsuit it is.” you say, heading back to your room. you pair the black jumpsuit with some layered dainty gold necklaces and rings and a pair of slightly dirty yet reliable white sneakers with your favorite pair of frilly socks with bow ties on them. you decide to leave your hair down with all its natural curls and grab your bag. you quickly send a text to toji before heading out:

y/n: heading out soon, cya in 8 🤍

you say goodbye to shoko and utahime, still engrossed in trying to make their cottagecore witch themed island of their dreams, and drive over to toji’s house. you’re not entirely sure when you started to feel anxious, but by the time you pull up to toji’s driveway, it takes everything in you to not hurl out your insides the minute you open your car door.

c’mon y/n, you’ve babysat here hundreds of times. why’s this any time different? well for starters, toji ate you out last time. your very poor pep talk barely made you get out of the car and ring toji’s doorbell. you bite your lip and tuck your hair behind you ears, wondering if toji will say something regretful about the time you spent together last night.

sure you aren’t that emotionally attached to him by any means, but you would be lying if you said you wouldn’t feel hurt if he says something along the lines of “this was a mistake”. your thoughts are interrupted by the door finally opening, and coming face to face with toji. your eyes millk in the sight of him, and your breath is quite literally taken away. you think you’ve never seen him clean up this nice, as he’s wearing a crisp navy blue shirt and a pair dark slim pants. fuck me.

“h-hey toji,” you say, greeting him with a slight smile.

"hey, pumpkin," he says, grabbing your arm and pulling you in. he closes the door, and you walk inside. before you know it, toji grabs your arms and swings you around to face him, your body flush against his chest. you squeak at the quick movement and before you can understand what is happening, toji's lips crash into yours. you're taken by surprise, but you immediately melt into his kiss, all your anxiety evaporating.

you stand on your tippy toes and wrap your arms around his neck, moaning into the kiss. you wish there was a way to press your lips even closer to toji's, mimicking the movement of his lips while you tried to ignore how soaked your panties were even though the night just started.

toji leans down and grips your ass tightly and picks you up. almost on instinct, you wrap your legs around his hips, slightly rocking them into his torso while he lightly presses you up against the wall. god, he could just take you right here, right now.

he feels your hips rocking onto him, breaks off the kiss, leaving you whining for more. "already looking for some action?" he teases.

you don't even have a good response for him because he's right: you are looking for some action. down there if you're being specific. and you don't care that he started it first. you nod a pathetic "mhmm" and throw your head back as he leans in to lick your neck and mark his territory. you don't even care that everyone would be able to see the hickey toji is leaving if it meant he didn't stop what he was doing.

"alright, keep holding onto me, pumpkin. i wanna touch you..." toji trails off, as he lets one hand off your ass. your legs remain wrapped tightly around his waist, and your breaths get shorter and louder as his fingers trail up from your hips to your chest. wait, has toji never touched your tits before?

your brain doesn't get a chance to ponder on the thought when toji gives your tits a harsh squeeze and you illicit an almost inappropriately long sigh, trying your hardest to contain your volume. toji groans, loving the response that just his hands over your clothed chest has on you. he gives your hardened buds the attention they craved, pinching and playing with them, as you started to beg toji for more.

"please, please, you know this isn't enough for me~" you complain, squeezing your legs even tighter against his waist. at this point, you were pathetically humping his waist, desperately trying to get some friction in the area you needed it the most.

toji responds by pushing you harder against the wall, your head rolling back as the sensitive buds on your chest sent electricity all throughout your body. if you weren't horny before, you sure are now.

you're about to ask (read: beg) toji to unzip your jumpsuit, when you and toji both hear little pitter patter footsteps coming down the stairs. megumi.

toji immediately shifts you back on to the floor, and you smooth out your jumpsuit and hair while toji adjusts the tent in his pants. you're still trying to regulate your breathing when megumi comes down the stairs. his eyes wild with excitement when he sees you and dashes towards you for a hug.

"megumiii" you greet him cheerfully, your arms open for a hug. you've always had a soft spot for this kid, and you pick him up when he approaches. god, he's getting bigger and bigger each day, you think as you realize he's heavier than he was when you first started babysitting him. "how was your dayyyy" you say in a sing song voice.

"it was fine...yuji brought his fruit scented markers to class today and i used the grossest flavored marker to draw on yuta's face during nap time." he says so unbothered that your jaw drops.

"umm...wow...okay...so that's a lot. i thought we talked about drawing on yuta's face during nap time." you frown. you remember when you were babysitting megumi a few weeks ago when the landline got a call from school about megumi getting in trouble and yuta crying because his face smelled bad. poor kid.

"i know but this time this new girl, nobara, dared me to do it, i had to!" he defends, as you put him down. you watch as toji chuckles at how fond the two of you are. he sighs with content and kneels down to help megumi put on his shoes.

"we'll talk about this later but peer pressure is never any good." you lecture as you hold the door open for megumi and toji. you lock eyes with toji, and he mouths a thank you before taking over and locking the door.

toji helps megumi get into his range rover while you hop into the passenger seat. you quickly check your phone and see two texts:

shoko: how's stepmomming going? me n utahime are scamming children on discord for mushroom diy recipes :)

satoru: ugh that girl who i was supposed to hook up w tn just bailed on me should i kms?

you quickly send a response to shoko that you were on the way to the restaurant and to be nice to the children, and open satoru's message and give it a thumbs up reaction. you're determined to have no distractions tonight.

toji takes you and megumi to a nice, but not too fancy, sushi place downtown, nearby megumi's school. over dinner, you hear megumi talk more about his friendship with yuji, which warms your heart. throughout dinner, you and toji sneak glances and smiles with one another, and you feel like a high schooler again.

you notice between conversations with megumi that toji has been nonstop staring at the tv screen behind you, and you quickly take a turn to see it’s the collegiate basketball game taking place.

“i didn’t know you were into basketball, toji.” you muse, never pegging him as someone who would enjoy watching sports in general. you get no response from toji — it’s almost like he didn’t hear you while his eyes were glued to the screen.

“toji. toji! TOJI!” you snap, in front of his face, finally getting his attention. “what’s going on, dude, talk to me.” you ask, confused as to why his expression turned scornful when your home team missed a three pointer.

“oh, sorry. i got really into the game, my bad pumpkin.” he says, eyes still glued to the screen. “just gimme a quick minute, i’ve got some money i’ve bet on our team tonight…” he trails off, quickly shooting you a forced grin before zoning out at the tv again.

you’re a bit irked that he’s paying more attention to the game than you and megumi but you let it slide. why would he bet on a stupid basketball game anyway, you think.

you and megumi make small talk while you help him eat his dragon roll before the game finishes and and toji rejoins the table mentally. you hear him groan in frustration before shooting off a quick text. poor guy probably lost his bet. “anyway, what did i miss? sorry about that, guys.”

“nothing!” megumi chirps, before slightly frowning. “also…i can’t finish my dragon roll anymore, daddy. can you help?”

“of course, kiddo.” toji grins, before taking a napkin and wiping soy sauce off of megumi’s face.

“oh my god, you’re soooo babygirl,” you unexpectedly say. you have no idea where that came from, but you mean it. seeing any soft side of a big man like toji just has your heart melt into a puddle.

toji raises an eyebrow, while chewing his son’s unfinished dragon roll pieces. "the fuck does that mean?” he says through bites. he’s not totally offended by it -- more so intrigued than anything else.

“i dunno, it’s like when big built guys like you are soft on the inside, you know. it’s just…cute. it’s babygirl.” you laugh, while explaining. you cannot believe you’re having this conversation with toji, but you can’t believe it even more when he laughs.

“then i guess i’m your babygirl, pumpkin.” he winks at you, inadvertently making your heart skip a beat.

all three of you share pleasantries for the rest of the dinner, the topics ranging from toji losing his bet in the basketball game to megumi trying to convince his dad to get pet dogs. when the waiter comes out with the check, toji reaches in his pockets to retrieve his wallet, only to find it empty.

"oh shit, my bad. i think i left my wallet at home." toji apologizes to the waiter and you. "gah, that's what being a single parents does to you, i guess..." he trails off, making you feel bad for him.

"it's okay, i'll grab it!" you say, covering for dinner. you recall toji promising you dinner yesterday, and you also recall your friends making fun of his broke ass and find yourself holding back a laugh at the situation you're in. god, maybe he is a gigolo, you think as you sign off on the bill and head out to the parent teacher night.

megumi’s school is close enough to walk to, so all three of you are able to take a nice stroll in the heart of the city. as you approach megumi’s fancy private school (where does toji get the money to even pay tuition for this place?), you start shivering as the cool autumn breeze starts to get stronger. you wish you had brought something heavier than this cardigan but toji immediately notices, and wordlessly starts taking off his coat and wrapping it around your shoulders.

“oh! toji, you didn’t -“ you start, feeling immediately less cold, partially due to toji’s sweater and partially due to your face heating up at toji’s actions.

“don’t worry about it, pumpkin,” toji says, pulling you closer and leaning close to ear. “you can pay me back once we get home,” he whispers in a low voice, and you swallow, trying to maintain your composure as you walk into the school.

megumi immediately finds nobara and yuji messing around in the hallways and runs to join them. you feel the warmth of toji’s arms around you disappear and you frown.

“gimme a second, i gotta talk to one of the dads here real quick…” toji mumbles, seeming displeased about having to speak with this person.

“everything okay?” you ask.

“uh…yeah. remember how i lost the basketball bet. well…he’s who i lost to.” toji sighs, giving the man a nod as he sulks towards him. you keep your eyes on toji as he seemed crankier than usual talk to the man about the basketball game. wait, where did he get the money to pay up? didn’t he say he forgot his wallet?

your thoughts are interrupted by irritating snickers and high pitched jeers coming a couple yards away from you. you turn to see a group of five or so older women (perhaps they were around toji’s age?) avoiding eye contact with you (but miserably failing). you’re not sure but you think you hear one of them say something along the lines of “that’s the gold digger megumi’s dad is dating now” and “i saw them kissing last night and she was barely wearing a skirt”.

you really try hard to not laugh, but you accidentally let out a snort loud enough for them to hear. gold digger? if only they knew you had to cover for toji today during dinner, and that he hadn’t paid you in a week. ugh, fuck you really should get on that.

trying to avoid eavesdropping on what these insecure women were saying about you, you pull out your phone and check your texts, and see one from satoru:

saturo: do u think u would get off to step mom porn more or less now that you fucked toji?

oh my god, how many times do you have to tell this guy you didn’t fuck toji…yet. you start typing a lengthy response about the inappropriate text, when you’re interrupted by one of the women tapping your shoulder.

“hi!” she chirps with conspicuous artificial delight. “i know it’s all the rage in your age to go thrifting, but you look really unprofessional coming to school here wearing that oversized piece of garbage.” her smile is dripping with poison.

“i’ll be sure to let toji know you think about his coat. thanks.” you respond stoically before making eye contact with toji and marching towards him.

“those ladies bothering you, pumpkin?” toji muses, ruffling your hair slightly.

“nothing i can’t handle,” you wink.

“toji, you may step inside the classroom!” megumi’s teacher calls from the homeroom door. toji motions for you to come with him and you do, not sure why you’re feeling a bit anxious about meeting megumi’s teacher. is she going to say something about how much you let megumi watch euphoria? what if you’re teaching him multiplication incorrectly, even though you’re an excellent student? your thoughts are immediately put at bay when, three minutes into the meeting with megumi’s teacher, you realize she has not looked at your or addressed you even once.

in fact, she’s only looking at toji. not just looking at him, she’s full on flirting with him.

“oh, toji stop it!” she laughs when toji says he doesn’t do much when helping megumi with his homework. “you’re sooo funny!” you can’t even focus on anything she’s saying about megumi’s performance in his classes. all you're focused on is how she always needs to be touching toji somewhere when talking to him — his arms, his shoulders, and (this one you had to commend her for pulling off) lightly grazing his thigh when he sat down.

“how does he interact with the other kids?” you ask, thinking of poor yuta.

megumi’s teacher completely ignores you and pretends you didn’t ask anything, and proceeds to “accidentally” “drop” all of her notes on the floor. she bends over to reach them while abruptly stopping a couple feet from toji, and makes a show of apologizing while her pencil skirt hugs her ass. “oh my god, i can be so clumsy sometimes,” she apologizes.

you do everything in your power to not burst out laughing at how absurd this night is, starting from the the group of women outside the hall to megumi’s own teacher. you make a mental note to tease toji about how popular he is with the moms and teachers at school. meanwhile, toji is off staring at the classroom decorations, smiling specifically at megumi’s artwork that’s being displayed on the wall. he’s so engrossed in it and other similar classroom art that he doesn’t even hear how the teacher moans pornographically when she sits down and takes off her pencil heels, saying “these shoes are just killing my feet, toji…”

“oh uh, okay. that sucks. anything pressing about my son or can we go now?” toji says, finally paying attention to megumi’s teacher. he snakes his arm around your waist, pulling your closer into him, and you take in his warmth.

“o-oh yeah. no it’s fine, i hope to see you again tomorrow when you pick him up,” she says with anticipation.

“um, yeah. okay, um. bye!” toji remarks, clearly not catching onto any innuendos or deeper meanings behind anything she’s saying.

you and toji walk out of the classroom and you immediately stifle a laugh. “woooow, everyone is just sooo obsessed with you here~” you joke. “megumi’s teacher was totally hitting on you!”

“oh yeah, i know. she’s been hitting on me since the beginning of the school year,” he says, taking you by surprise. “why, pumpkin? you jealous?” he says as he squeezes you hips.

“oh really? you just…didn’t seem to care…” you say, intrigued. you look up at him, searching for some answers but he just shrugs.

“not my type, really.”

you raise your eyebrows, not even realizing when you start giggling. you probably shouldn’t say what you’re going to say next but you can’t help it. “well, who is your type?” you ask coyly.

“let me just show you,” toji says and grabs your jaw with his large hand and kisses you square in the mouth, in front of everyone in the hallway. albeit, the only people who actually cared were the group of women who were jeering at you earlier in the night and you think you hear them gasp. you smile into the kiss, resulting in toji chuckling. “let’s go, yeah?”

you nod, and get megumi from his friends and all three of you shuffle back to toji’s range rover. the minute you get in, you crank the seat warmer setting to high, trying not to shiver so loudly.

megumi immediately starts talking. “i had so much fun with nobara and yuji!” he says excitedly.

“yeah? what did you kiddos talk about?” toji asks, backing out of the parking lot. god he looks so hot while driving. he has one hand on the wheel and the other hand resting softly on your thigh. you lace your fingers with his and squeeze. he squeezes back and you feel butterflies.

“we talked about euphoria!” he yells with excitement. you stop squeezing toji's hand and your jaw drops. you’re at a loss for words. what the hell are these kids doing watching euphoria? “nobara told us to watch it, and that guy on euphoria is soooo tall did you know? super tall just like your friend that came over a couple weeks ago, remember y/n? the one who was super tall and was wearing glasses and had white ha-“

“ohhh-kayyy megumi, thank you so much for that recap”, you say nervously, absolutely dreading asking megumi ever about his recap of the night. you sneak a glance at toji and see him smirking. suddenly, you were not shivering anymore and the car was actually really hot. “y-you shouldn’t be watching that show, you know.” you say, trying to change the topic.

“who was this guy that came over? i wanna hear more about that,” toji teases, sneaking a quick glance at you before his eyes return to the road.

“he’s no one, i swear. he just dropped off some pain meds for me from when i got my wisdom teeth removed,” you say. it’s the truth, too. you literally asked satoru to be discrete when dropping off the medicine he picked up for you for this exact reason but he kept on trying to see the house because “no one broke could afford this place”. you don’t want to be known as that babysitter that brings a guy over when the parents are out, especially if that parent is toji. and especially if nothing happened.

toji smirks at how defensive you're getting, trying to go above and beyond to show that you were only his. to be quite honest, it was turning him on and he slams on the gas a bit harder to get home faster. toji pulls up to the driveway of his home and opens the garage, and megumi immediately opens the car door and sprints to the bathroom, while the both you chuckle at how cute he is.

“so this guy...he your boyfriend or somethin', pumpkin?”, toji jokes.

“what if i said yes to that, huh? would you ask me to go home?” you press, cracking a slight smile.

toji doesn’t think it’s funny. he thinks it’s fucking hilarious. his hands touch your thigh and start roaming upwards. “absolutely not pumpkin. i’d wanna know if you guys fucked in my house.” your breath hitches and you swallow.

“w-we didn’t, i swear,” you start, trying to control your breathing and not fold when toji digs his fingers into your inner thigh.

“hm, a shame. would’ve loved to seen your back getting blown out from the security cams…” he trails off, squeezing your inner thigh and forcing your leg to open a bit more. even though you’re still fully clothed, you feel exposed by the action, and unintentionally shift your hips slightly which earns a smirk from toji. he leans even closer to you and whispers in your ear, “it would’ve been my new favorite porno. i'd jerk off to it every chance i got.”

this time, you audibly moan. you don’t even care that his dirty talk involves you getting your back blown by satoru. you don't care that you would enthusiastically get your back blown out by satoru if it meant toji would be watching. the thought of him seeing you in such a vulnerable exposing position just turns you on even more, and you suddenly need him. “just take me right now, please. i’ll do anything,” you plead, leaning towards toji for a kiss.

“oh, i know you will do anything pumpkin.” toji coos, leaning back and stopping your kiss inches before you reach his lips by snaking his hand around your neck, applying the slightest bit of pressure. your breath hitches and you muster a weak "please".

“let’s get inside first, pumpkin.”

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vase-of-lilies · 10 months

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Sunday, Funday

❀ Mommies!WandaNat x Little!reader (f)

❀ MD/LG dynamics, fluff, forehead kisses🥺, featuring Pietro!

❀ Request: mommies!wandanat having a fun day with little!r

❀ A/N: Thank you for the request, @fragilepuppi! I have adored and absolutely loved all of your requests so far. So thank you so so much! Sorry it took so long to post, I had written it but just hadn't posted it yet! But I hope you like it! This is a part of the Into the Tiny Verse series:)

“Mommy!!!! Mama!!!!!! Its Sunday!!!!!!!” You happily whisper-shout as you jump onto Wandas and Natashas shared bed.

Unbeknownst to you, they were already awake, smiling to each other as they hear your pitiful attempt to be quiet in their room as you try to sneak up on them. Natasha is a spy, if she can hear a pin drop in a room full of talking and dancing people, then she can hear your soft pattering feet against her carpet.

Wanda on the other hand, she knew you were coming in for the soul fact that she is emotionally connected to you. Her telekinetic abilities sensed that you were awake, and in need of something but felt your presence come closer to her. She knew you were on your way.

Once you climbed onto your mommies bed, they pretended they were asleep so you could have the pride of giving them the element of surprise. Natasha smiled and kissed your forehead as you smushed your way in between her and Wanda, and you smiled up at her.

“S’sunday mama! We gotta go have fun!” What you meant by that was a tradition that Wanda and Nat started with you where every Sunday the three of you would go out to get ice cream and go to the secluded park that stark built just for you and Peter. Your favorite part of the park was the tire swing that was connected to the large weeping willow surrounding the park. You could swing on it all day if you had the chance!

Your mommies helped you get ready for the day, helping you into your favorite pink, ruffly dress, the one with the bunny eating a carrot on the front, sat your wiggly body down on the couch to help you get your shoes on, and finally your jacket that you were stubborn about putting on. “But m’gonna get hot, mommy!” You whined as Wanda gently pulled your arms through the holes of your jacket.

“Sweetheart, its raining outside and its only 60 degrees. You are wearing your coat or we will have to have a fun day at home.” Wanda said in a stern but gentle voice. You sighed and nodded in understanding as she zipped your jacket up to the top. The two women smiled at your appearance and took a sweet little picture of you, grumpy face and all.

“Alright, do you want Peter to come with us?” Natasha asked, and you immediately shook your head.

“No! Only wan mama and mommy,” you looked up at them and they looked like they were waiting for something else. “Please?” You finished, remembering to use your manners. Wanda smiled and held out her hand.

“Alright, just us three! Lets go get your ice cream, and then we can go to the park. Sound good my little one?” She says and eagerly take her hand, pulling her to the door. Natasha shakes her head with a chuckle and follows along, getting her wallet ready for all the sprinkles you want on your [your favorite ice cream flavor] cone you get. As you skip along the hallway, they look at you in adoration, taking each others hands as they walk behind you.

Leaving the compound was easy as everyone knew about yours and Peters ‘situations’. And with how powerful the avengers were, no one questioned what was going on. Sure some people gave judgmental looks, but they didn’t care. All it took to get someone running away was a glare from Nat and a glow-of-the eyes from Wanda. They took care of you and protected you with everything they had.

As you got to your favorite Ice Cream parlor, you smiled up at the ice cream man. He was your favorite person to see other than your mommy and mama, of course! His name you didn’t know, but all you knew was he gave you extra ice cream scoops when your mommies were not looking. Wanda knew him personally and gave him a hug every time she saw him. They kind of look alike… you thought to yourself. But you shook off the thought and continued to watch as he poured extra sprinkles onto your cone.

By the time you had gotten to the park, your face was covered in icy goodness and your hands were a sticky mess. Luckily Wanda was prepared and brought some water and soap, quickly cleaning you up before you went to play. Immediately when you were let go, you ran straight to the tire swing. It was like the playground didn’t even exist! Wanda and Nat followed you, knowing exactly what you were going to ask for next.

As if on cue, you ask “Mommy? Mama? Can you p’ease push me? Wanna go sup’ high!”

With a big smile, Nat takes the first push, Wanda sitting down on the swing first and you happily climbing onto her lap. She wraps her arms around your waist and holds you against her tightly, not wanting you to fall off. Natasha pushes you both, the swing starting to move front and backwards. Your belly filled with butterflies as you soared through the air on the swing, your smile never falling! Your mommies loved it when you smiled like this, not a care in the world. Nothing could stop you form being this happy in this moment. Except one thing…

“Ok little one, its time to go home,” Natasha said, an hour later as you were now swinging alone while Wanda sat down on the bench. Your brows furrowed and you shook your head, holding onto the ropes of the swing with an iron grip. Natasha sighed and slowed the swing down, thinking to herself how cute you are, yet how stubborn and unwilling to leave something you loved behind for a couple days.

“Noooooo, wan’ stay here forever…” you say weakly, getting sleepy from playing so long. Your mommies knew that it was time for your nap, and you knew it too but was having too much fun. Wanda gathered your things, and stood up. Walking over to the swing she knelt down.

“Come on baby, we gotta get you down for your nap. Look how sleepy she is, Nat I don’t think that Bubbles would be too happy napping alone at home.” She brought your stuffy into this and your eyes watered.

“Don wan bubbles to be alone!” You said, jumping off the swing and into Wandas arms. She smiled and gently kissed your head, letting you fall asleep in her arms as she carried you back to the compound. As your head laid on Wandas shoulder, Natasha watched over you two from behind you, watching you like a hawk. Your hand hung against Wandas back and Nat took that opportunity to clasp a charm bracelet around your wrist, a small token of their love to you, and a little surprise for when you woke up.

Opening your nursery door, you felt Wanda lay you down in your bed, and you whined. You wanted to stay with your mommies, and nap with them. “M-mommy mama….” They knew you were too little to form any sentences now, so they obliged to your silent command and took you to their bed instead, Bubbles’s fluffy paw clenched in your fist. As they laid down with you, Wanda smiled at your sleeping form, sighing as you finally hit your dreaming state.

“We need a better way to have her listen when its time to go…” Wanda said to Nat, who fully agreed with her.

“Until then, lets just stick with bubbles being lonely without her. She has the biggest heart and would hate to keep him waiting. I bet she will wake up and want Bubbles to have a bottle too.” Natasha chuckles and wraps her arms around you and Wanda, relaxing into the bed with you and her wife in her arms. All safe and sound.

#wandanat x reader #Mommy!wandanat x little!reader #Wanda x reader #Wanda x female reader #wanda x little reader #Wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x little reader #mommy natasha x little!reader #natasha x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #WandaNat x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #Wanda Maximoff #Little reader #into the tiny verse #the toy lion the scarlet witch and tiny in the wardrobe

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sundrop-writes · 4 months

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Your First Kiss With Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary:

The Titans have faced a lot together, but never something quite as troubling as the possible return of an inter-dimensional demon that shreds apart worlds and leaves nothing standing in its wake.

You hate to admit it, but even standing with your team - you're afraid. Dick tries his best to comfort you, but for once during his career as noble, selfless team leader - he takes a moment to be selfish, and does something that he has been avoiding doing for years.

Dick Grayson x Gender Neutral Reader. Childhood Friends to Lovers. Angst and Fluff. Set during Season 4, Episode 6.

Word Count: 2,900

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: this one is a bit more on the angsty side; this fic features major spoilers for season 4 (and for the majority of the show) - so if you're watching it for the first time or you haven't seen it yet and you want to watch it spoiler free, then avoid this fic for now; the reader character is completely gender neutral - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours; the reader is one of the original Titans; the reader and Dick are childhood friends through the Justice League - the reader is the adoptive child of Oliver Queen/Green Arrow (the reader is a talented marksman and trained in combat); the reader is mentioned to be an orphan (again, aren't all good superheroes); major pining from Dick - he has had a crush on the reader since they were kids (most of this is from his POV, so it's not specified if the reader has returned his feelings for just as long); mentions of canon character deaths; a lot of this is from Dick's POV so - warnings for Dick being emotionally constipated and referring to romantic feelings as a 'disease'; this is an AU where Dickkory never happened; mentions of canon violence - not described in graphic detail; mentions of the apocalypse/the world ending (and the anxiety this can cause); the reader is feeling extreme fear/anxiety due to the possible end of the world; technically - unresolved pining. I believe that's it.

A/N: The second part of the First Kiss series! I had a lot of fun with this one. This is the first really romantic fic I have written for Dick, and I enjoyed it so much omg. I was so tempted to write an enemies to lovers version with him, because he annoys me so much in the canon, and I feel like 'kissing in the middle of a heated argument' would work so well with his character - but maybe we'll save that one for Jason (or Hank, idk). instead, I went with emotionally constipated Dick Grayson, because that is sooo canon. he would not admit his feelings for someone if he had a gun to his head. and I had a lot of fun writing this mostly from his POV. I feel like he is such an interesting POV character to work with, so I might do more from him in the future. anyway, please enjoy!!

...

Stress.

There were few other words to describe the horrible feeling that was dense in the air around them.

Everyone was looking to Dick for answers, and unfortunately, he had none. Sebastian was missing, likely kidnapped by Mother Mayhem in order to complete a ritual that would likely mean the end of the world. Rachel had lost her powers and the Titans needed her unique form of magic now more than ever. Tim was impatient, annoyed because Dick wasn’t letting him use the minimal training that he had. But of course, Dick was hesitant to let the next would-be Robin off the bench after what had happened to Jason.

(Dick could barely bring himself to think about Jason these days.)

Kory was having difficulty controlling her newfound powers, and so was Gar. Which left the team weakened on all sides. Jinx was helpful on the magic front, but she was far from easy to control when it came to executing plans and corralling her rather wild personality.

And Dick didn’t even want to think about what was happening with Conner. He just had to pray that this whole shaved-head, Lex Luthor impression was part of his mourning for his would-be father, and hopefully - it would be temporary.

All of the chaos among the team left Dick leaning on you. As usual, you were likely the only person on the team who wasn’t experiencing any extreme drama. You were the only Titan with some true stability.

And you were the person on the team with the most experience. Even more than Dick himself. Beyond being part of the original Titans team that had helped to found The Tower, you had been trained under Oliver Queen, who was part of the Justice League as Green Arrow. Ollie had taken you on as his own child when your parents died and left him as your carer in their will. Naturally, early into your childhood, he had started training you in the art of combat and marksmanship - so you grew up with intense skill.

You and Dick met soon after he was adopted by Bruce. And much like Donna, you were a kind face and a wise voice that kept him mentally grounded well into adulthood. But you were also someone mischievous that made him smile; someone he could always turn to for a well timed laugh.

You always kept him sane.

And very much unlike Donna - soon after he met you, Dick started to develop feelings for you.

Of course, back then, it was just a silly crush. When he told Donna about it at the time, she laughed. And when he had hidden his face in embarrassment, she then told him that it was ‘cute’. She told him that you two would be good together when you got older. So naturally, Dick took her words as biblically concrete advice.

He decided that he should wait for you. That the two of you would be good together when you got older.

So he waited.

And he waited. And eventually - life got in the way.

He had a huge falling out with Bruce, things at the Tower went south. It was never the right time to tell you. How the hell could he tell his best friend that he had those big, terrifying feelings mounting inside of him, worsening each year like a disease?

It was never the right time to tell you because he was dodging disasters left and right and he needed you more as a friend than as a lover. He needed you as a brick wall to lean on. He needed you as that voice of common sense in his ear - the leader’s loyal first mate, giving him advice behind the curtain and keeping his head on straight.

He didn’t need to tell you about his awful, festering feelings and have you gone from his life too.

When Garth died, and then Jericho died and the Tower shuddered, it still didn't feel like the right time. Wounds were tender and even if you were never downright angry at him like everyone else was - you needed your space. Dick respected that.

That day, you stood at the mouth of the elevator, about to leave for Star City to go and lick your emotional wounds at Ollie’s for a while, and you looked at Dick with tears in your eyes - looked at him like you were waiting for him to say it. But it wasn’t the right time.

He still thought about you every single day when he was in Detroit. And then - he showed up at your door with a scared little girl, needing more advice, needing that brick wall again. It was only natural that when chaos found him, he needed your help.

He hated that your advice was to call in Dawn and Hank. He relied on you, and you relied on family. And he hated that they were waiting at your apartment, called against his will once he had left to do some more sleuthing.

But he found that you were right when he saw how Dawn bonded with Rachel, when Hank put up a vicious fight against those strangers who came to collect her in the name of her father.

Watching you get thrown off that roof sent Dick’s heart through his stomach. As he clung onto the rooftop with his fingers and the muscles of his arm burned, all he could think about was you. As you sputtered out blood and he cradled your head, unsure of how to help you, terror gripped him in a way that it never had before in his life, because he realized that he might actually lose the most important person in his life.

As you lay in the hospital, a set of machines barely keeping you alive, with Dawn loyally holding your hand in comfort and Hank seething to get revenge on the people who had hurt you - Dick ached with regret and not having told you.

Still, when you showed up at that house in Ohio, somehow magically awakened from your near death by Rachel's powers - Dick felt that it just wasn't the right time. He swallowed his regrets like ash in his mouth when he reunited with you, hugged you tight. He didn’t even consider telling you about his feelings to be on the radar of possibility.

When you came back to the Tower to help bring in Doctor Light - it just wasn't the right time. When you showed up in Gotham to help bring down Red Hood - it just wasn't the right time.

Even when Dick died and was brought back to life by some strange magical pit, a pool of waters that brought him dreams of a far off life with you - it still wasn’t the right time.

You were there to Dick's call, loyal and waiting, every single time. You looked at him with as much love and longing in your eyes as he needed (at least, according to Dawn and Donna you did) - but still, it never felt like the right time.

It never felt like the right time to destabilize his entire life by uprooting the one good friendship he had. It never felt like the right time to truly fuck things up with you.

Now, because of some cult that Dick believed to be long gone and a stupid blood ritual, the world was ending, and it still didn't feel like the right time.

He wasn't the son of a demon from another dimension, but he still felt cursed.

When Dick saw you slip out of the room, clearly trying to sneak away from the group, his stomach twisted with nerves. It was rare that you of all people cracked under the pressure. It was rare that you needed to escape from the madness for a breath. He mumbled an excuse to Kory and then chased after you, knowing that it wouldn't be hard to tell where he was truly going - but truthfully, he didn’t care.

He easily caught you in one of the late night deserted halls of STAR Labs.

The many glass walls overlooked the city - a collection of bright lights that made up Metropolis. Thousands of people that you never knew, that you had never met before. People that all seemed too important now as you contemplated their lives; thought about the fact that you might not be able to save them.

Dick saw the sickly look on your face, the glassy sheen of guilt in your eyes even from far off as you leaned on the polished titanium railing that separated the upper floors from the atrium. His footsteps echoed in the empty hall and you heard him approaching from far off. He made no effort to sneak up on you or conceal himself, not wanting to startle you when you were already in such a distressed state.

The minute you looked over your shoulder and saw him, your face broke from that dark, doomed frown into a haste smile, and you reached up to wipe away your tears, attempting to be subtle with that motion. You were trying to hide yourself from him.

Dick came to stand beside you, resisting the urge to pull you into his arms. He desperately wanted to shelter you away from any fear you might be feeling. Maybe it was selfish; wanting to hold you, wanting to protect you from anything in the world that could possibly harm you. Maybe it was downright idiotic - because realistically, he knew that couldn't protect you from this kind of harm. He couldn’t protect you from the world ending.

“Y/N-” Dick murmured your name gently, clutching a fist tightly by his side to resist the urge to reach out and soothe a hand over the trembling muscles of your jaw.

You were holding in a sob, and it came out as a harsh, sarcastic laugh instead.

“I know.” You said. “I know. You're doing that Team Leader Guy Thing.”

You tried to make it sound playful and joking, but with your voice wet and soaked with worry and fear, it came off as a pathetic bid to deflect.

Dick wasn’t sure how to reply. Because yes, he was doing that ‘Team Leader Guy Thing’. He was trying his best to, anyway.

“You're gonna ask ‘are you okay?’ and I'm gonna lie and say ‘I'm fine, boss. All good.’” You continued.

At least you were being straightforward about it being a lie.

Dick wished that he had something genuinely helpful to say, but his throat stalled with dryness and his chest ached at seeing you so distraught. It really wasn’t something that he was used to.

“I mean, it's not like it's the end of the world.” You let out another dry, sarcastic laugh.

Then, there was a moment of silence - a beat of realization as your chin quivered and more thick tears rimmed your eyes.

“It's - it's only the end of the world.” You spoke these words heavier, dropping any false laughter in your tone - it truly hit you. Any further jokes you could make left you.

Dick choked on his own tears when he heard the aborted sob in your chest - something that came out as a whimper when you reached up to clutch at your heart.

You were genuinely terrified. Terrified that the Titans wouldn’t be able to find a solution in time. Terrified that everyone was going to die. Not just the people you loved, but - everyone.

“Hey, come on.” Dick said, his leader instincts, his natural caring for you kicking in. “We've been through worse.”

Working with the Titans, you had been through a lot. Drug busts, battling against costumed psychopaths, the loss of a dear friend to a dangerous assassin. But you weren’t sure that you had been through something worse than this. Everything the Titans had been through had never affected the world on such a large scale.

“Have we?” You argued gently.

Perhaps not. Maybe the only time the team had been in such dire straits was the first time Trigon attempted to come to earth. But that had been when Rachel had been armed with her powers and had been prepared to take him down. But Dick wasn't going to voice those thoughts to you.

You waited in agony for him to say something, and your tears finally breached - rolling down your face in hot tracks, laying marks of the true fear you were feeling, laying it all bare for the first time. Dick knew that his own eyes reflected that same glossy hurt now, if only for the pain he felt in seeing you cry - something that was so incredibly rare over the time he had known you.

Dick reached out and gently cupped the side of your cheek, running his thumb across your face and wiping some of those tears away. You were so startled by the tenderness of the touch that you couldn't help but to let out a whimper, and you felt frozen as Dick spoke his next words.

“It's gonna be okay.” He told you, trying his hardest to sound confident in the words. “We're gonna get through this. I know we will.”

This time, unlike many before, you couldn't be inspired by his confidence.

“Have you - have you considered what happens if we don't?” Your voice barely reached above a whisper, barely daring to tempt fate with this possibility.

Honestly, Dick had not. In these kinds of situations, he didn't allow himself to focus too much on the negative. As the team leader, he did have to take all the possibilities into account. It was something he had to do in order to keep everyone safe. But if he focused too much on death and darkness, much like Bruce did, then he knew that paranoia would overtake him and his team would get caught in the crossfire.

He had to spend his time coming up with solutions to fix the problem rather than spending his time caught up in knots, worrying about what would happen if he fumbled and didn't actually fix things after all.

The literal end of the world? It just wasn't a possibility in this mind.

But right now, standing there, staring into your big eyes, glossed over with fear as you looked to him for answers - there was only one thing that Dick could think of.

And it was so incredibly selfish. It didn’t have anything to do with the team or being a good leader. It didn’t have anything to do with helping the others.

Dick brushed his thumb over your cheek again, an incredibly tentative touch that had your skin tingling. You let out a small sigh, and the world froze around you when he leaned in - slowly, moving toward you at a pace that more than gave you time to escape if you wanted to. But you found that you didn’t want to. You found his closeness to be an incredible comfort in these moments of mental chaos.

And so, he gently planted his lips on yours.

It should have come as a shock - your childhood best friend kissing you. But in that moment, it just felt right. All you could do was shut your eyes and lean into the kiss, reaching up to grip his wrist, keeping him close to you as you leaned into his smothering heat. His lips were surprisingly soft, and he tasted like coffee - using caffeine to keep himself awake for days, trying to marathon a solution against the impending doom.

His kiss was firm but so giving - a touch that easily swallowed you up with heat from the top of your head all the way down to your toes. It was a sensation that pushed out the rest of the world, smothered any worries about who or what might bring an end to it.

It was the most tender, but most wonderfully passionate kiss that you had ever experienced in your life.

When he pulled away, you sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly feeling incomplete without his lips on yours. The shock then began to set in, like pulling the knife from a stab wound and feeling the blood rush out of you freely. It created a dizzying mixture with the heat that was now boiling under your skin.

Why? Your brain screamed out as you stared at him. When? How long had he wanted to kiss you? How long had you been missing out on Dick Grayson?

Dick could see all those questions bubbling beneath your surface as the fear in your eyes shifted to confusion, and he finally decided to speak.

“I'm sorry.” He said quietly. “But if the world does end, I couldn't die without knowing what kissing you is like.”

“Dick-” You sighed, about to go on a long rant about how he could have done that years ago, about how he should have - and the end of the world was a shitty excuse.

But you abruptly cut off your own words when more footsteps squeaked down the hall - the rubber soles of sneakers scuffing against the polished floor.

Dick jumped away from you as though he had been burned, clearly wanting to keep the interaction private. Both of you tuned to see Gar approaching.

“Dick?” He posed. Gar had a look of confusion, clearly wondering if he should question what was going on between the two of you but swallowing it.

“Yeah?” Dick replied.

“Um - Conner's missing.” He announced this in a nervous, meek tone, not wanting to bring the team leader any more bad news.

“What?” Dick gaped.

There was no time to further discuss what Dick had said to you. With the end of the world in your hands, it easily fell to the back of your mind.

...

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