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#its undeserved you cant have her apologize and then still take the piss out of jon for helping her.
survivorbehemoth · 4 years
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Episode 15: "congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!” - Jules
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congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!
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JIOFEOJIFEWOJIWOJI THAT SOUNDS SO BITTER BUT DYLAN SIR U HANDED HER THE GAME! HANDED IT TO HER! GOD! and its what she deserves!
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anyways. let it be known this was NOT MY FAULT.
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let the record show, before last night's tribal, I SAID SOMETHING WAS NOT SITTING RIGHT WITH MY SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!! AND???? what happened. look what happened.
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still practicing my slide puzzles WJIJIEFIJWJIFIFWJEJWIEEJWIF
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OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME!!!
this final 4 is absolutely amazing and i literally love all of them so much, but that just makes things 10x worse. i think that playing my idol on daisy was a huge risk and the fact that it is now a final 2 makes things a bit more interesting. my ideal plan was to have daisy in the final 4 with me so that i wouldnt be the next target, but now that she won immunity it just didnt work out how i intended at all!!
voting out jules and szymon is purely going to come down to which one of them will sway my way and it's going to hurt to send one of them to jury no matter what, but i just feel like i came all this way and not making top 3 would just suck so badly. so yeah, this sucks. i hate that no matter what i do im going to be upsetting people and hurting feelings but... i guess that's just the game! at this point im not even sure if i can win against daisy but it seems like she will take me, it just depends on whether or not i stay loyal to her if i win FIC or if i take whoever is with me in final 3.
much to think about, BUT I JUST CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR !!!!
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Jules is voted out 3-1. She becomes the 8th member of our jury.
Watch the Cast Assessment take place below:
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Szymon is voted out by Daisy. He becomes the final member of our jury.
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idk thought this would be cute to include my voting log and stuff hehe <3 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RiA0RUWX4TRpqBTgRzLJJ3fHu2jBqZ-bCJozFd3HcRs/edit?usp=sharing
Jules: https://youtu.be/6zKeJuOJKeY 
https://youtu.be/5dV_-X6Rv2U
https://youtu.be/N5tnq-4QAT8
someone (zach) asked me to rank the jurors from nicest to meanest...so here we go. ily all <3 <3
1. seamus (this will def come as a surprise, but seamus was the most levelheaded and nice one on the jury. he really never made a bitter comment even though he had every right to, especially at me/daisy/dylan and really anyone who was in after him except chips. like. he was the only person to reach out in pms after and it was immediate, he really comforted me and i really admire men who can have like good relationship w/ women that are platonic??? i know he's been like terrible in the past and i did call him on some stuff in hydravivor and ill be the FIRST to admit that i called him a crackhead on a daily basis but i think he's grown a lot!!!!!! idk. i think he's also the MOST self aware!!!! im a seamus stan, what about it?)
2. brandan (while brandan was kinda irrelevant game wise this season -- but not in our hearts -- he was very objective and a peacemaker. he had good reason to be MIA too so the fact that he got as far as he did means to me that he did form some strong social connections. and he did!!! with me, i think w/ conor, so idk, he had a role like i did in the game imo. i really liked him and he really brought a fresh perspective on things!!!)
3. szymon (he's only not ranked higher bc he's pissed off rob and he stands his ground a lot more outwardly than the first two, at least in the jury chat. also he's not had as much time as a juror. but even then, i think szymon is not a bad guy like some of the ppl make him out to be. like, idk, i think he made a mistake on a game level and he even admitted it and idk he's a legend. truly. im so glad to have met him and i think he was a really nice juror to have around while he was ACTUALLY around bc he stood up for me/daisy the way seamus did)
4. lovelis (lovelis makes some pointed comments but.....he's not dumb at all and so i don't think he's been bitter. also his pointed comments have been funny and mostly radiating the energy of the other Bitter Jurors so idk. i really like him on a personal level as well and have for a while so idk. i dont KNOW KNOW him but he's never been the type to make harsh comments without them having some merit to them. so i kinda trust his judgement even though he wasnt in the game long/an early merge boot. idk i think he's open minded enough and he's also someone who admits when he's done a Lil Too Much but he's really lovely. just competitive.)
5. chips (i dont think chips is MEAN per se, in fact, i dont think he has a mean bone in his body on a personal level. like WFIJFJIFWE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT HES SO FUCKING NICE!!!!!!! but thats why it's so funny to see him in games bc he's a lil lying, a lil backstabby and sometimes he's a lil passive aggressive. but its not undeserved. its also a pisces thing WEFJIEIEJWEFJIWEF i think what i saw in the jury house was sometimes chips going along w/ things, but i dont know, i really do not know much about chips game and ill probs ask him more afterwards?? but idk he was REALLY nice to me tho so FWIJFWEWFIFW i just dont trust him in games.......i dont know whats on his mind half of the time......)
I WANNA SAY FOR THE NEXT 3 MEN THEYRE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THEIR FIRE SIGN PLACEMENTS SO while i know some of them do hold resentment, its a lot easier to deal with and work with and with all 3 of them we've talked it out with/are going to talk it out. only #8 has been the MOST stubborn but idk imma let him do his thing & try not to pass too much judgement u know cause i dont need to waste my braincells on that
6. conor (knowing conor's astrological placements makes this make sense to me. but i wanna say that i think he's the type of leo to like be upfront, get it out, vent, and be fine? which is why i respect him a lot and i think we do have a mutual respect for each other. some of the comments he made were kinda rude tho and him fake liking astrology for social game was SO UGLY TO ME!!!! like i'll clown him for it for as long as i know him now cause....JOKE'S ON HIM!!!!!!! WJOEFWEOWEFO but that was kinda mean but def conor's come around and seen the light / has also reached out to me to talk. he's also admitted he left a mean speech in sbbb9 and regretted it so i think he might just shoot off at the mouth a bit. but BETTER THE DEVIL U KNOW THAN THE ONE U DONT and i appreciate the transparency NOW as opposed to the fakeness of him saying he liked astrology for social game. THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!! im a fan of leos tho and he's a leo moon like me. so. i think we'll be fine. )
7. rob (i actually really REALLY like rob on a personal level but i really do not know if i could play another game with him, at least survivor, id be open to playing bb. i think ill say that the best thing about rob is that he's also apologized, was one of the first to when i confronted them all, me and him have a good personal relationship tbh!! but some of the game comments he made were p harsh and he's definitely a lil bitter but again, he's admitted it, i think while he's more up front -- i dont think i ever wanna be on his bad side in a game. EVER!!! cause we didnt even have any loyalty to each other in the game but he was SO harsh on my game like it was wild bc i dont think id ever be that harsh to ANY OF THEM ABOUT THEIR GAMES LIKE THAT???? anyways. its fine bc again he's apologized and he's owned it but PHEW he got a lil bit of a sharp tongue. really eloquent tho!!!!!!!!!!! love hearing him speak)
8. gage (last but least the southern belle himself................this man an aries and i dont know his other signs but him being an aries man is enough. they POP OFF!!!!!! a lot of times there's some truth to it, sure, but sometimes they just be popping off and FOR WHAT!!!!! i do understand gage's frustrations though but even he apologized for being too mean in HIS FUTURE FUCKING CONFESSIONALSSSSSSSS TO MEEEEEE so. idk. he's got an issue with letting things go in games and miss annajane calls him on a lot of BS and it does NOT seem to really knock him down but. gage is really wht u see is what u get, doesnt really own his faults but at least u kinda know where ur at w/ him. but he's still probs the meanest one in there but i do understand from a game level why he was so fucked up about it, especially after hearing FTC. its just that. i understand his position. BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE A XANAX SOMETIMES I S2G GAGE I WILL GIVE YOU ONE!!! girl it is NOT that serious!!!!!!)
also forgot to mention that i admitted to gage that chris from s1 was NOT actually my brother and his jaw was on the floor <3 I GOT TO DO ONE TROLL THING RIGHT!!!!!! rip me/seamus' showmance serious!!!!!!)
okay just to add onto my last confessional -- the songs i think represent me best from this playlist game wise are: - perfect for you - punchin' bag - stayin' alive - flip - femme fatale/future nostalgia (for the girls alliance that never was....rip but also me/daisy at merge vibes) - X - the shortchange - TAKE ME AS I AM!!!!! THAT SONG IS THE ONE THATS BECOME MY SONG!!!! for this game especially!!!!! - over yet (the lyrics literally speak for themselves) - tough on myself (sorry for stealing ur song vincent) - seven devils - villains pt. 1 (i dont think i was a villain but i did stuff in this game that i usually dont and would consider villainous for myself FEWIWFEJIFEW i was in my feelings!) - passion & pain taste the same when i'm weak (me coming into the jury house and realizing they'd all snatched my wig w/ the edges and the glue.....i DID cry to this song for at least 2 hours! yes i did! WIFJWJIWEIJE) - tar ('under the stars -- pull yourself from the tar'. at the end of the day, this season was fucking stacked and there wasn't one person who was a bad player at all. at all.stars, if you will. i was under a lot of stars and from all the breakdowns in my game to me actually breaking down -- i GOTTA PULL MYSELF FROM THE TAR!!!! learn!! grow!! be better!!)
TOP 5 (not 'perfect for you'): - punchin' bag - take me as i am - over yet - tough on myself - tar
good for my whole journey imo!! the last 3!!! okay this is my ACTUAL last confessional okay thank u for everything!!! bye!!!
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https://youtu.be/T5wRzWwlOp8
and here's my personal playlist for the org: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2E8KGCo1SrBgoJIQ9DycfM?si=96PWq-6ERCyisacQr3zPww
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it is literally an hour and a half until the winner reveal and i really just have no idea what's going to happen. like in the back of mind i just have a feeling that im losing bc, yeah you know self-deprecation woo! but yeah idk i think i really gave this game my all and while i dont think i played it flawlessly, i still think i played a strong game i can be proud of :,)
having it be a live final tribal for my first ever like, jury questioning was just--- ugh wild but i actually think it went really well. just based on what people were saying it definitely seemed as if some of the jurors didnt really want to see me and daisy at the end or like, really werent consider voting for me but i think i was definitely able to sway some people who were willing to listen and definitely gave some of the jurors something to think about. so whether or not i win i do think that i had a really great final tribal performance, maybe it was even enough to sway enough people into giving me their vote?? WHO'S TO SAY
anyways this has been such a wild experience and it's surreal to think that it's ending in like, a little over an hour but no matter what happens i can say confidently that i will be able to look back on this season fondly and will be leaving it with my head held high bc I REALLY DID THIS LIKE!!! I REALLY MADE IT TO THE END!! WOW I STILL CANT GET OVER IT HAHAHA!! but yeah bye forever <33
Rob’s Last Video:  https://youtu.be/X3krxxfJ3oo
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Daisy wins in a 7-2 vote!
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MTVS Epic Rewatch #208
Don’t forget to vote on the season 7 polls!!
BTVS 7x21 End of Days
Stray thoughts
1) So this is how Faith is doing as the leader…
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…and this is how Buffy is doing as the outcast Slayer…
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder who’s the boss… (maybe we should ask Abed.)
2) I don’t like seeing Faith hurt, but I do get a very sick (I admit it) satisfaction at seeing all these girls hurt and scared because they kicked Buffy out and they screwed everything up in the worst possible fashion. I know that by having Faith lead them into yet another trap the writers were trying to prove the point that what happened at the vineyard could’ve happened to anyone and that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault (Buffy will make this same point herself later on the episode.) Both Buffy and Faith were trying to do what they thought was best, yet it backfired. Shit happens yada yada yada. Yet I just can’t help but feel personally vindicated when I see Faith and the potentials fuck everything up so spectacularly.
On the other hand, not only was Buffy able to pull herself together after the group (and her friends! Her family!) kicked her out and made her feel like the worst piece of shit in the whole world, but she also managed to A) get the scythe and B) make Caleb nervous, which was a first. So yeah. #teamBuffy
3) So why exactly were the Scoobies looking for Buffy? I mean, didn’t they kick her out literally the day before? And now they’re suddenly worried about her or something? The only person who followed Buffy after they all kicked her out was Faith. Faith! Do you see how wrong/ironic that this? Do you see how painful it must’ve been for Buffy not to have NONE OF HER FRIENDS – not Xander, not Willow, not Giles, not even her own sister! – go after her to see if she was okay? To ask her where she was going or what she was going to do? The only person who showed any concern whatsoever about her was probably the only person she would’ve labeled a potential enemy. 
Damn you all, I’m still pissed off. I hate this. I hate having to feel this way about the characters I’ve loved for seven seasons in the FINAL EPISODES OF THE SHOW. It just feels so wrong, but I can’t help but HATE THEM. What the hell was this fucking writing choice? I hate it. I hate everything about it.
4) If I have to say something in favor of Kennedy is this, when shit hit the fan, she was the only one who wasn’t screaming like a moron and who was actually trying to fight off the Turok-Han. So yeah. The girl got spunk.
5) But she’s nothing compared to our designated BAMF.
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6) No one is kicking Buffy out now, HUH? HUH???????????????????
7)
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Yes. Yes, you did.
8) And this is exactly why they shouldn’t have kicked her out or “rebelled” against her or whatever the fuck they thought they were doing.
BUFFY You guys, it was a trap. It's not her fault. That could've just as easily happened to me.
9) While I do appreciate the pun and the side glances between Buffy and Willow…
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I still feel it’s very wrong they’re all just talking and Giles is playing around with the scythe as if the last time they’d been together they HADN’T HUMILIATED BUFFY AND KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN FUCKING HOUSE???? LIKE SERIOUSLY??? In Willow’s own words, you're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.
Like, I know the apocalypse takes precedence, but maybe say “sorry for kicking you out” and “thank you for saving us AGAIN”.
10)
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11) Again, I get the same feeling with Xander. Like, did they all suddenly forget they had left Buffy alone and kicked her out of her own house? Xander is all like, “I don’t need you to protect me just because I lost an eye” but literally a day before he was telling her it was HER fault he’d lost it, and using that as a justification not only for removing her from her role as a leader but also TO KICK HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. And now it’s just like nothing ever happened? How is that possible? How is literally no one apologizing to Buffy? And not only is he not apologizing, but Buffy is telling him that he’s her heart and the reason she’s still alive, which okay, it’s all kind of true, but he’s also the guy WHO BLAMED YOU FOR LOSING HIS EYE AND WHO KICKED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE THE DAY BEFORE?!
I didn’t know that End of Days could make me as angry as Empty Places but here I am.
We’re 14 minutes into the episode and still, no one has apologized to Buffy and they’re all pretending like they didn’t turn their backs on her and it’s pissing me off. I hate feeling this way in the episode prior to the series finale. This is not how a fan should be feeling right before the show ends!
12) Not only do I know what a glottal stop is but I’ve also learned how to pronounce it. Or at least I was able to pronounce it a few years ago. 
13) And hence the fate of Miss Kitty Fantastico was finally revealed…
DAWN Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
If you must hate Dawn, it should only be for this.
14) Did anyone really believe Xander would hurt Dawn?
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15) What was the point of this scene…?
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…I mean, other than to give us Nathan Fillion’s orgasm face?
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16) And this is the difference between Buffy and the rest… just remember how everyone reacted and treated Buffy after the vineyard, and see how she acts here after literally the same happened with Faith in charge…
FAITH What do you want me to say? I blew it.
BUFFY You didn't blow it.
FAITH Tell that to—
BUFFY People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death.
She’s understanding and reassuring, she’s not pointing fingers or kicking people out. And that’s why she’s a hero and the rest are a fucking bunch of morons. I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about Empty Places and this episode is not making things any better.
17) But I do love when my two slayers see eye to eye…
FAITH So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.(…) No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than... (…) Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
BUFFY Yeah.
FAITH And that's you every day, isn't it?
BUFFY I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer.
FAITH There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
BUFFY Also, you went evil and were killing people.
FAITH Good point. Also a factor.
BUFFY But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
FAITH And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.
BUFFY Takes the edge off.
FAITH Comforting.
BUFFY Mm-hmm.
This is something that had been a long time coming. Since day one, Faith had envied Buffy. Just like Buffy saw in Faith her road not taken, Faith saw in Buffy the life she could’ve had but didn’t. She envied it and she wanted it for herself. She literally tried to steal it away several times. So if she couldn’t have it, if it wasn’t meant for her, then she could take Buffy away from it, drive her to the dark side, where she lived. Every attempt was futile, even stealing Buffy’s body and literally taking her life. It only made her feel more undeserving, more inadequate, more unworthy. But every time she’d taken a shot at being the leader, it was by playing tricks, by taking what it wasn’t rightfully hers. This time around, she had somehow earned it. There was no foul play on her part. Others made the decision for her and gave her the role she’d craved for so long. And she finally understood that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, Buffy did have friends and people who looked up to her and cared about her. But when push comes to shove, when tough calls must be made, the Slayer is always alone. The weight of the world is only on her shoulders, and she can’t share the burden. It took four seasons but Faith finally got it. And she could finally let go of all the envy and jealousy.
18) I just love the fact that for the first time Buffy is the one who opens up to Spike. She’s always been the one who pretends there’s nothing between them and who skirts around her feelings and dismisses his. But not this time. And for me, it was enough that she acknowledged that it meant something, even if they – and we – don’t know exactly what that was.
BUFFY You're a dope.
SPIKE I'm a what?
BUFFY You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.
SPIKE Have you gone completely carrot-top?
BUFFY Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. Look, I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. You know, I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not—
SPIKE Terrified.
BUFFY Of what?
SPIKE Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.
BUFFY Spike...
SPIKE It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but—
BUFFY I just told you it did.
SPIKE Yeah... I hear you say it, but... I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell, but... I've never... been close... to anyone. Least of all, you. 'Til last night. All I did was... hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah... I'm... terrified.
BUFFY You don't have to be.
SPIKE Were you there with me?
BUFFY I was.
SPIKE What does that mean?
BUFFY I don't know. Does it have to mean something?
SPIKE No. Not right now.
19) Update: 29 minutes in and I’m still waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
20) Am I the only who thinks this speech is okay but like, the writers were trying too hard to give Anya her “Anya Speech Moment” of the season and it kind of feels a bit, I don’t know, forced?
ANYA Well...I guess I was...kinda new to bein' around humans before. But now I've... seen a lot more, gotten to know people... seen what they're capable of, and... I guess I just realized...how amazingly screwed-up they all are. I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die...which they...they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
21) #priorities
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22) And in another episode of Plots Totally Pulled Out of the Writer’s Ass… (a.k.a. Joss Whedon Tries to Rectify the Fact that He Wrote a Bunch of Men Violating the Original Slayer by Putting a Demon Inside of Her and Thus Utterly Destroyed the Whole Slayerness Equals Feminism Theme)
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WOMAN We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who...
BUFFY Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
WOMAN Ahh, yes. Then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.
BUFFY Oh! So you're like... what are you?
WOMAN Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Okay, I get it, I get what you were trying to do, but it was so fucking obvious, it was so transparent. Like, I know most of the so-called metaphors in this show were not so subtle (think the fucking monster-penis in Doublemeat Palace, for instance.) But the feminist struggle in the slayer vs the council struggle was always something that I personally enjoyed. And this is how Joss’s brand of “feminism” began to crumble down, in my opinion. This is what a white dude who is a self-proclaimed feminist believes to be a Good feminist storyline, but it’s so clichéd and self-evident it's almost cringe-worthy. Like, you get a bunch of Evil Men quite literally raping a Poor Woman, who is faked Empowered (her powers were lent to her by the Evil Men and the source of her powers is Evil, Demonic in nature because  duh! she is a Woman)  so that they can Manipulate her and Use her for the benefit of the Patriarchy. But oh wait! This is a Feminist Show! So in spite of what the Evil Men who were supposedly the Powerful ones did, there always were These Great and Powerful Women behind it all, the True Guardians of the Slayer, This has been a Matriarchy all along, you see?! PLOT TWIST!
Yawn.
The worst part? I can imagine all the writers patting themselves on the back for writing such a groundbreaking and Feminist storyline and for sticking it to the Men.
23) And btw, just to show you how big a Feminist Show this is, we get this…
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I guess since this is a Feminist Show and Angel is the hero here and Buffy the damsel in distress, that makes Angel a woman, right?
But hey, at least he (or she?) literally let Buffy deliver the lethal blow…
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24) And yes, this totally makes sense!
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because Angel has not claimed to be in love with Cordelia and Buffy has not just had her more honest heart-toheart with Spike. Let’s just disregard whatever arcs have been developed in both shows in order to deliver a Ship Moment for the Bangel fans, right? Who cares about character development, right? Because I’m positive this is what former lovers do after not seeing each other in over a year, being currently emotionally unavailable, and facing the greatest evil of all. Suck face.
25) Update: minute 42 and I’m STILL waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
26) Sorry for the bitter rant! 
27)  If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!
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