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#ive almost had this phone for 5 years now and only now is it finally starting to show signs of wear and tear
fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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hm. my dad is offering to give me his old phone that he doesn't use anymore, bc then we won't have to shell out $100+ to repair the screen on my current phone, but also i hate the idea of switching to a new phone
#ive almost had this phone for 5 years now and only now is it finally starting to show signs of wear and tear#yeah the screen cracked. but the battery isn't what it used to be and it runs all my apps a bit slower now#to be fair. my phone had an absolute tank of a battery. like im talking it lasted 3 full days with moderate use when i first got it#but now it barely lasts me a day. which is more than some phones but its rlly inconvenient for places like school and work#so idk. logically it would probably be best to just switch to the other phone. but god i don't wanna give this thing up#i feel like im failing somehow by switching to a different phone. this thing has lasted so damn long and its my first working smartphone#so i hate the idea of just switching to a new one. plus like... that means ill have to change all my cords bc my current phone uses a -#- micro USB but the phone my dad is offering only uses USB-C#sighh. plus like... idk. ill have to figure out how to transfer all my data over which will be a headache#also! my current phone has a 128GB SD card that i dont wanna waste but idk if i can change it from internal to external storage now#idk man. this shit sucks.#like... i really really like my phone. its lasted for a really long time and its a powerhouse for such a cheap phone#but idk. i might switch to avoid making my mom spend the money on a new screen. it might be time to give this phone up.#i won't look foward to having to deal with the samsung assistant though. the bixby on my mom's phone opens constantly which is annoying#anyways. im tired and sad about my phone. i shouldn't be sad bc it's just a phone but im a stupid bitch so i feel sad.#i need to stop getting attached to tech. its a bunch of metal and plastic and wires.
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ozzgin · 3 months
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Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (IV)
Happy Holidays! Remember your plans to visit friends and family back in your home country? Scratch that. The Yakuza men have other ideas for you in this cozy Christmas special. And you finally get to meet their fearsome Boss, who has a request for you.
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]
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You stare at your phone in disbelief, rereading each line and hoping you've misunderstood the kanji. Daitou and Kazuya are quietly frowning behind you, unsure how to help in such a situation. Their lack of response only confirms it.
The brief paragraph is written in bold, red font: Due to weather conditions, all flights are cancelled until further notice. Passengers have been refunded and will need to repurchase their tickets at first convenience.
One glimpse at the last-minute prices and you're certain of it: you won't be going home for Christmas. You slouch and sigh, somewhat at peace with the idea. What else can you do? You might as well get yourself a KFC bucket and stare at the holiday lights in the city center. You and the couples taking cheesy Christmas selfies, who will later wonder about the gloomy loner behind them philosophically crunching on spicy wings.
"Don't look so defeated, (Y/N). You can just spend that time with us instead. We're not such terrible company, are we?" Kazuya jokes, trying to cheer you up.
"We could even go on a trip around New Year."
Your eyes light up in anticipation, the sadness vanishing almost instantly. 
"Can we go to one of those hot spring inns? I've always wanted to visit an onsen." You put your hands together pleadingly. 
"Whoa! Take me out to dinner first if you're that eager to see me naked." The blonde man winks at you smugly. 
"How would I see you naked? The baths are separated, aren't they?" You inquire. 
"We can't go to the regular ones." Daitou pulls his collar slightly downwards, revealing a fragment of his traditional tattoos. True. A yakuza would never be allowed among the civilians. "We'd have to book a private bath, so there wouldn't be anyone else."
You blush at the prospect of being alone with the two men. Kazuya notices your nervousness and is about to continue his teasing, but Daitou speaks before him, unbothered and oblivious:
"Besides, you've already seen me naked. I can tell you Kazuya doesn't look much different. There's nothing to be shy about."
The blonde man can only gawk, taken aback, and you shove Daitou in a flustered panic, fumbling to find an excuse or a change of subject.
He didn't have to make your business public like that, or he could've at least announced it without you being present. Judging by the blonde's speechless reaction, you're guessing he hasn't been told about your sneaky office smooching that led to the occasional sleepover. If you think about it, there's nothing shameful about being intimate with your boyfriend, but...It's not something you're fully accustomed to yet.
As promised, after the coworker incident you were soon greeted with a job offer in the neighborhood. When you went to your old office to discuss the mandatory year contract, the managers nervously handed you an approval for resignation and refused to discuss any details. You were free to go, no penalty or obligation. They had a fearful demeanor and you hoped Daitou didn't dismember anyone involved. Regardless of his means, you were now at the liberty to pursue other careers.
On the other hand, you were rather anxious about your new workplace. You had flashing visions of drug cartels and gambling parlors, with thugs rattling their drinks at you and demanding proper service. Windows breaking and masked men rolling onto the floor, armed to the brim. Ginza hostesses scurrying behind you and asking for help against an angered client. The night before your first day, you restlessly shuffled in your bed, plagued by second thoughts. What could you possibly do for the yakuza? What ghoulish demands would they prepare for you?
Daitou was the one to accompany you in the morning. He showed you to your desk, and you could discern the blurred frames of people angrily discussing matters in the opposing meeting room, separated by a large window. You gulped.
"They're building a new apartment complex two streets down." Your boyfriend mentioned casually, helping you settle with your belongings. 
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry, I thought you were curious about their talk."
"I mean, I am, but...Is that it?" You gazed at him incredulously. 
"What else? This is a real estate office. Upstairs is the stock investments."
"Oh...Oh...I thought..." You were a little embarrassed. The imaginary scenarios of bloody battles and crimes that kept you awake felt quite ridiculous now.
Daitou seemed to have picked up on your assumptions, because he chuckled and ruffled your hair, following with an explanation. 
"Boss is very strict with our Ninkyo-Do. If you're caught with drugs or petty theft, you're excommunicated. We used to have a bunch of gambling casinos as main income, but nowadays there's too much pressure from the police, ya know? Half of our members aren't even officially registered with the Yakuza, so they can't be tracked. We mostly do stocks and real estate. That's where the cash is. 
Heh. Kinda boring, ain't it? I'm afraid you showed up way after the golden times. Even I'm too young for it. If ya want, I can ask one of the retired seniors to tell you about it. He has a lot of great stories."
You held your tongue from bringing up his frequent killing sprees and just nodded, amused by the fact that his code of conduct didn't register human casualties as wrong. The Yakuza have strict rules of ethics that set them apart from regular mafia. Depending on the Oyabun, or Head of the Family, this chivalrous way of living is reinforced to all members or conveniently swept under the rug. Daitou's Boss seemed to fit in the former category. 
Therefore your "office job" turned out to be an actual office job without the quotes. Although you were often reminded the people passing by weren't your regular salarymen. Many of them were entirely transparent with you, striking up conversations about their latest arrest, or complaining about the poor quality of their pinky finger prosthetic they'd ordered from the Philippines. 
But this isn't the time to reminisce. The prolonged silence is unbearable and one could fry eggs on your hot, burning cheeks. Kazuya is the one to break the awkwardness. 
"Oh, yeah...You coming to the Christmas thing this evening?"
"We'll be there." Daitou smiles innocently, unaware of the discomfort he just caused.
Kazuya raises his eyebrows in surprise and looks at you.
"Did you...?"
"Yup. It's all fine." The dark haired man nods reassuringly. 
"Then I'll see you at dinner, little (Y/N). Don't catch a fever with all that steam blowing out of you." He laughs at your still baffled expression and places his large hand on your head, departing.
Daitou holds the door open for you and you hurry inside. As you both walk down the hallway of the luxurious restaurant, you can't help the nagging feeling that he's once again omitted some vital information. 
"Can you tell me again who else is coming? Just Kazuya?"
"Oh no, it's a Family meeting. So Boss and the rest of the Seniors, too."
You gasp in horror, but before you can scold him, you find yourself behind the canvas screen divider, facing a table of older men in suits, holding their drinks and eyeing you suspiciously. 
"Oi, who the fuck is this, Daitou?" one of them growls. 
"I already told you before, (Y/N). My girlfriend."
"Huh? Did you seriously just bring a civvy to our meeting? I knew you got a loose screw, boy, but this tops it all."
Daitou frowns and steps in front of you, visibly annoyed. 
"If ya got a problem with my woman being here, I can settle it for you, old man. When was the last time you fought someone?"
"'s that supposed to mean?"
"It means you've gotten too comfortable sitting up there and barking orders. Let me remind you why they leave the killings to me."
The thick tension in the air is quickly dispersed by a loud, relaxed laugh. At the end of the table, a heavily scarred man with grey hair is clapping his hands in delight, seemingly amused by the events unfolding. He glances at you and pats a cushioned seat to his right. 
"There you are! Come join us, miss (Y/N). Ignore those rusty grumps, they ain't seen a woman outside a host club." He throws the instigator a brief glare. "Is that any way to talk to my guest, Oota?"
The man swallows dryly and mutters an apology. He goes back to his drink, preoccupied, and the rest follow suit. 
You hesitantly kneel down to your designated place, sheepishly peeking at the mysterious figure. Could it be? As if reading your mind, Daitou places an encouraging hand on your waist and lowers his head to your ear, swiftly whispering "that's Boss" before going to greet the others at the table. 
"I-it's a pleasure meeting you, Sir." You mumble nervously.
"No no, pleasure is all mine. I'm Eiji Ijichi, 8th Head of our Family." 
His introduction is unexpectedly warm and his easygoing way of speaking reminds you a lot of Daitou. The faintest grin threatens to appear, but you cover your mouth. With enough imagination, this could be the equivalent of meeting your in-laws. This is Daitou's family, after all. A criminally scary one, but nonetheless you've been welcomed with open arms.
"Do you drink?" The older man asks you, raising his porcelain cup.
"Naturally." You exclaim and lift your own cup enthusiastically. 
"Attagirl!"
As the night progresses, the men at the table are loosening up under the influence of expensive alcohol. Kazuya seems to be caught in a terribly involved conversation with Daitou and one of their Captains, gesturing dramatically and occasionally raising his tone. You notice your glass has once again been filled by the waitress and take another sip, satisfied with observing their fun from the sidelines. Boss has a similar approach, gazing nostalgically over the rowdy group of thugs.
He reaches for his pack of smokes and you scramble to pick up the lighter, politely bowing as you light up his cigarette. He smiles at your gesture. 
"I see Daitou's trained you already."
He ponders for a moment, gently blowing a cloud of smoke upwards. 
"You'll make a good wife."
"Excuse me?" You question, startled by his sudden remark. 
"It's hard to tell, but I'm getting pretty old myself." He snickers at his self made compliment. "Soon it'll be time to pick my successor. I have no children, unless you count that rascal I picked from the streets." He says as he tilts his chin towards Daitou. 
"I love him like my own kid, but I'm sure you noticed he's a little off. Everyone is terrified of him. You can't have a leader if everyone runs away from him, ya know? I was starting to get worried I'd work myself through retirement. Kazuya can only do so much!
Then he comes up to me grinning like an idiot. I thought, 'There it is. He finally lost it', but instead he asks me if I want to see a photo of his girlfriend. Girlfriend?! I was ready to witness some crusty body pillow, my hand was on the phone to call our Family doctor. He shows me a cute foreigner standing next to him. Now I'm pretty sure he's not smart enough to fake photos like that, so it must be the real deal. 'How the Devil did ya pull this one?' I asked him. Cause listen, I was rather handsome back in my day and I still wouldn't have been this lucky.
And would ya look at that, it's the miss that moved into our apartments! How's the living conditions, by the way? Everything going fine?"
You nod energetically.
"Good, good."
He crosses his arms and nods himself, satisfied. He turns to gaze at you intently, with a face you can't quite read.
"You gotta excuse a drunk old man for rambling so much. What I'm trying to say...well...
Take care of him when he becomes the 9th, will ya? If he has you, I'm sure he'll manage. But don't tell him I said that! You gotta keep them humble. See, that's a lesson for you too. If there's one person the Head of the Family bows to, that's his wife! But I doubt he'd let the power get to his head."
You both turn to Daitou. He just finished pouring more sake to his superior and notices your stare. He blushes slightly and waves, unsure why he's suddenly being observed. 
"I think so, too." You respond, waving back. 
How would that look on a CV? Ane-san of a Yakuza family. 
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miya-rin · 1 year
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"i can't believe you got in a fight.”
“he hit me first, you just expect me to stand there and take that?"
a small chuckle leaves his mouth at your choice of words, standing between you parted legs osamu has been patching you up after a ‘small mishap’ with one of your classmates.
"obviously not, its just…" his voice trails off as he rummages around in the first aid kit until he finds an alcohol wipe, gently tearing it open before swiping it across your cheek, you wince in discomfort and he gives you an apologetic look. "sorry — its just, you're not really the type to hit someone, like i know you can defend yourself but cmon, you knocked him out."
"deserved."
"you really are something else." he laughs as he starts to dig around to find something else to slather over your face.
"thankyou."
"not a compliment."
“i'm gonna take it as one."
"i knew you would."
"yeah yeah whatever, you would have done the same.”
“oh yeah totally.” he picks up a tube of antibacterial cream and gently starts to apply it to the cut on your cheek, making sure to be extra careful as to not put too much.
“thankyou by the way.” he tilts his head up to look you in the eye for a split second before focusing back on the cream in his hand.
"hm?"
"for cleaning me up and that, thankyou."
"yeah well you probably wouldn't have, the blood would just be dried up all over your hands and face.”
"oh shut up," you let out a light laugh and by god you sound amazing "i'm not that bad."
"sure, whatever you say.”
the room elopes in silence — comfortable silence, the kind where you're not too worried if someone speaks or not, and yet you do.
"say, how long have you been dying your hair?"
"oh, i'm not sure, wh-" his words are cut short as he feels your hands snake up his undercut and into the dyed strands atop his head. shit he thinks, he so badly wants to look up at you, but he knows that if he does he won't be able to look away.
"it's really soft, what conditioner do you use? it must be good for it to not be completely dead."
"yeah." he stutters slightly, but just enough that you might not have been able to hear it. god he hopes you didn't hear it.
he still doesn't answer your question, staying quiet for a good minute or so before you decide to take action. gently tugging at his hair, an indication for him to look at you, he puts down whatever he was fiddling with and his eyes meet yours. they're a lot wider than normal, he almost looks scared, but from the dusting of pink spread across his cheeks you can tell it's something different. hes nervous.
“osamu, did you hear me?” the way you’re lightly scratching at his scalp turns him to putty in your hands. “i asked you a question.”
“uhm..i started dying it when i was like 13? so about 5 years now. and whatever conditioner my ma brings home.” you hum in approval as you continue to mess around with his hair.
“you know…i should probably finish bandaging you up.” he makes a start at grabbing some plasters to put over your bruised and bloody knuckles, avoiding eye contact even harder than before.
“wow, you wanna get rid of me that quickly? youre cold osamu.”
thats gets him to look at you.
“i never said that.”
“dont act dumb now, i heard you loud and clear.”
“youre putting words in my mouth.”
“oh so you’re accusing me now? this isnt the osamu i know and love.” as soon as that last word falls from your lips osamu burns a crimson red from his face to his neck and probably lower, choking on his spit and trying to catch his breath. if only you had your phone on you.
“you what?” he can finally speak by the looks of it.
“i love you. dont act like you didnt know.”
“yn, tell me youre joking.”
“are you rejecting me right now? thats a mean way to do it dont you think?”
“are you kidding me? ive had a crush on you since we were 15.”
“i know, why dont you do something about it?” you say with a sly smirk. he still looks on edge at the whole interaction, but theres no time like the present.
he lifts up his large and calloused hands to grab both sides of your face before bringing you into a sweet but passionate kiss, it doesnt last long as you are both conscious of the fact that anyone could walk into the schools medical room, but it is just enough to leave you both satisfied after years of pining. pulling away you are met with that boyish smile you fell in love with all those years ago.
“now that i think about it, im kinda glad you got into that fight…”
“so am i.”
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bronzeeditsx · 6 months
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Maya le tissier fanfic part 1!
(sorry if there’s spelling mistakes Ive written most of this late at night)
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20th July 2022
BREAKING NEWS Maya Le Tissier has joined Manchester united on a 3 year deal reports say.
You turn away from your phone to your team mates who have been discussing the rumours all week and now it has finally been confirmed.
“Can’t wait to meet her” Millie Turner said from across the room.
“She was hard to get past when we played Brighton”, Leah Galton replied.
The introduction of a new player is always exciting to have, but with her it seemed different.
You watched her enter the training ground already wearing the united training kit with a big smile on her face, a smile so contagious it lit up the whole room up, and she’d been here for 5 minutes, yet it felt it as if you knew her your whole life.
The way she shook your hand to greet you and looked into your eyes as if you were an old friend that haven’t seen each other in a long time, it just felt natural.
Millie Turner must have said something funny because she laughed as she was greeting her making her head slightly tilt backwards.
You couldn’t help but smile.
“What are you smiling at?”, Nikita joked poking your side.
“Nothing” You laughed shaking your head back at her.
-
A few weeks had past and Maya fitted in straight away, she was always working hard especially in the gym.
Just before the season starts the whole team decided we should go out altogether for a meal before the hard works starts.
It was a fancy restaurant that we were not used to and half the menu seemed pointless. You happened to sit next to Maya who gave you a smile as you were sitting down.
“That suit looks good on you”. Maya said as she ran her fingers so delicately on your shoulder feeling the fabric.
“Why thank you”, You replied feeling yourself start to blush. “Your dress is beautiful”. You said slightly positioning your body towards her.
“Maya what are you going to order?”, Katie asked from across the table.
This diverted her attention off you as she turned to Katie replying she’s going to order pasta.
In them few seconds you missed having her full attention on you which made you think, is there a chance you have some feelings towards her? No that can’t be the case you barely know her, she’s been here for 3 weeks and you’re already jumping to conclusions because she complimented you once, I am really down that bad you thought to yourself slightly shaking your head.
The night went on and before you knew it, it was already 2am due to the amount of drinks that were being ordered.
By that time there was an only a small group of us left.
“Ughh i can’t believe an uber is £30 just get back to my apartment” You sighed.
“I could give you a ride?” Maya replied with a smile, as she hasn’t had much to drink. (don’t be dirty minded😉)
“Are you sure?”. You replied slurring, regretting having them shots ella convinced you to drink.
“Of course” She replied with a smile.
“Thanks”.
“No problem”. She replied slightly stroking your back.
Once you got in the car you turned to look at maya who was rubbing her arms due to the cold winter air.
“You can wear my jacket if you like”, you asked her.
“No it’s ok”, she said smiling “your apartment is only 20 minutes away”.
“Ok, if you get hypothermia don’t blame me”.
“Woww”, she said laughing slightly pushing your shoulder.
You laughed with her.
The drive to her apartment seemed quicker than you hoped as you both listened to the radio almost at full volume.
You saw Maya glance to the side of you and she noticed you didn’t look so well, your arms were now folded onto your stomach and you looked out the window slightly turning away from her.
She quickly parked up just in front of your flat. “Are you ok?”. Maya asked worriedly.
“I think i’ve drank too much”, you chuckled wiping your forehead that was slightly sweating somehow even though it was freezing outside.
“Let’s get inside then”, she said quickly getting out her car and walking round to help you.
As you were about to enter your apartment building a group of guys walked past that you were familiar with.
“Look at the state of her”, one of them remarked and then they all started laughing.
“Hey, leave her alone”, Maya replied back angrily.
“Or what?”.
“Maya it’s ok”. You exclaimed.
Maya walked back up to the guy “I’m gonna sh-”
“Maya let’s go”, You interrupted, walking inside.
Maya sighed smirking at the guy, then slowly turned to follow you.
“Do them guys bother you a lot?”, Maya asked placing an arm around your shoulder as you walked to the lift.
“Sometimes…b-but not often”, you replied avoiding eye contact with her.
“You’re welcome to stay with me if they do”, maya said as you searched for your keys in your bag.
“Thanks, but it’s ok”, you said as you walked out the lift, to your door.
“Are you sure?”, She asked.
You didn’t reply as you did want to stay with her…but for the wrong reason.
-
Sorry this is so short for now i will continue this if you want me to :)
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kingkennny10 · 9 months
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Lonely Day • Stenny x Reader
poly!stenny x reader, hurt/comfort? i be traumatizing stan, tw for blood! ive had this brewing for months now, i love stan and kenny so much :( also i dont proofread for shit so good luck readingggg >:]
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You, Stan and Kenny have been together for around 2 years, you guys have been through so much together and are very close knit. It was barely a 2nd thought when you all decided that 4th of july would just be you 3 having an absolute blast. You guys couldn't afford much but you ended up getting 2 boxes of sparkle fountains and then 2 packs of the hand held sparklers.
The night started off amazing, you guys had a playlist full of songs that reminded you all of your relationship blasting from the porch. You guys had already set off the sparkle fountains and were now just chasing eachother with sparklers in hand. Stan almost caught up to Kenny when Ken suddenly dropped to the floor like a stone. You stopped dead in your tracks and Stan rushed to his lovers side tossing his sparkler down to the road. He pulled Kenny to his lap already shaking.
"Whats going on?" You asked shakily, fearing the worst. Stan shook his head and held up his now covered in blood hand.
"I-I'm not sure, s-so much blood." Stan was in a pure state of shot, eyes blone wide as he took in his partners bloodied form.
"BABE THE COPS! QUICK!" You shouted and ran to their sides. Stan didn't move for a second as tears ran down his face. You pulled Ken off of Stan and onto your lap checking his wound, he was shot by a stray bullet. You moved your hand to apply pressure on his wound. Kenny placed his hand over yours that was pressing the entry wound on his neck. He couldnt speak, when he tried all that came out was blood in a garbbled mess. Stan walked away sitting on the grass maby 5 feet away, you could faintly hear his shaky voice crying into the phone to the dispatcher.
Kenny didn't break eyecontact with you not once. He held tightly to your hand and slowly pulled it away wincing from the stinging pain. "Ken I swear to god if I dont see you tomorrow Im gonna break all your shit." You choked out over sobs. he ran his hand up your forearm leaving his blood over your matching tattoo. It was a spur of the moment idea to get the abreviated lyrics of your lovesong tattood on eachother. Once you realized where his hand was you noticed the song was playing from the speaker on the porch.
'and if you go, i wanna go with you. and if you die, i wanna die with you.'
You leaned your head down to press your foreheads together. "This is no time to be romantic Ken." He had a wide smile spred across his face, you held his hand again and kissed his bloody lips softly. Finally off the phone with dispatch Stan made his way over to the both of you and put his hand on yours and Kenny's.
"The ambulance is on its way Ken, don't fall asleep." Stan sobbed out. You lifted your head to press your forehead against Stans now. You shook your head slowly you hated seeing your other boyfriend like this, he didn't have the pleasure of knowing that you'd all would wake up in bed together tomorrow.
"They're not gonna make it baby, he's losing too much blood." You whispered to Stan. Realization his him that youre right, but he just couldn't give up. He shook his head against yours and tilted his head to look at his other partner. He moved his hand to put pressure onto Ken's wound making him wince in pain again, this time coughing up more blood.
"You'll make it Ken, please make it." Stan rested his head on Kenny's chest which lead him to place his hand on the back of Stans head. You watched as Kenny closed his eyes, you had one hand on each of them and tilted your head to look up at the stars. "I love you both so much, this can't be the end." You heard Stan's muffled voice below you begging for his boyfriend to make it through this. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you heard sirens in the distance.
Kenny was pronounced dead on arrival and you could only hold an comfort your lover as they took his body away in a black bag. Stan didn't stop shaking until you got into the shower together. The only thing giving you strength to keep it together was the hope you held that you'd both wake up in Ken's arms tomorrow morning. You guys sat in the shower for almost an hour holding eachother after washing away every trace of blood.
Once you both got dressed and ready to lay down you pressed play on the same playlist letting it play softly in the background. Stan was already in bed squeezing Kenny's pillow to his chest when you turned around. You waisted no time in joining him, holding him close and leaving kisses on the top of his head. Somehow you and Ken's song ended up looping and it's what you both fell asleep to that night.
The next afternoon you woke up to Kenny caressing your arm from the other side of Stan. "You didn't break anything did you?" He wispered to you with a shit eating grin scross his face. You glared at him and snuggled into stan.
"I might do it since you wanna be an ass." You whispered back. He let out a soft chuckle and leaned over Stan to kiss you on the lips.
"I love your music choice by the way." Kenny said while shifting to hold Stan to his chest. You rolled your eyes at his remark.
"Whatever, I shuffled the playlist but it started looping this." You said with a laugh. Kenny closed his eyes nuzzling his face into Stan's back.
"You love me!" Kenny said and reached his arm over so he was holding you aswell now.
"Can you guys argue quieter, I want to sleep more." Stan's raspy voice chimed in muffled by the pillow in his face.
"Shut up you love us." You said and poked his side. He jolted popping his head up to look at you.
"No I hate you both actually." He stated in an exaggerated matter of fact tone. Now it was Ken's turn to poke at his side.
"You can't lie you us babes." Kenny stated wrapping both his arms around Stan's waist. "I love you both soooo much." Now it was your turn to grab onto Stan, which led to him crashing back onto the bed.
"I also love you both." Stan spoke up muffled yet again by the pillows.
"Well, that means I love you both more!" You said muffled into Stan's side. No matter how many times something like this happens, the next morning ends up the same. Completely full of love for eachother, nothing can separate you guys. Not even death itself.
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no one will understand how much i adore poly stenny x reader, they mean so much to me and thats why i have an entire apocolypse au dedicated to them in the mfn works. might post something mike makowski related soon >:) feeling EVIL and by that i mean, smut 😭
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yoodokjas · 8 months
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have you read a study in geometric shapes? thoughts on it? It's just, i reread some chapters today and goddammit, i had forgotten just how angsty that fic truly was lmao. My poor eyes and the tears they shed 🤧
💀💀💀💀 geez anon have you hacked my phone or smth cuz i literally read it yesterday for the first time since for some reason i avoided that fic like the plague 😭😭 ive had that fic as marked for later for almost a year and only yesterday when i saw this art did i finally get convinced to read it.
i loved it so much and i lowkey wanted to beat myself up for procrastinating on it since the author has written one of my fave fics before (on the internet nobody knows you're a dog) it fully deserves those 10k+ kudos and now it's in my top 10 (maybe even top 5) fics
obligatory link to the fic just in case there's another idiot like me out there in the wild who is procrastinating on this fic. pls get on with it. it'll change your life i promise
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viioggvl · 1 year
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I dont post much anymore now but ive been watching Cobra Kai (finished it in three days, actually) and my favorite character has to be Robby Keene. Maybe i’ll make another post on why, or maybe not. But this post is;
My Favorite Robby Keene Headcanons<3
1. He has an upside down smile (like @raven.elofff on tiktok bc he really looks like robby)
2. He gets the most funniest Bi panics Tory has ever seen and she just loves Robby for it
3. Robby always puts Kenny before anything. He’s hungry? He’ll ask Kenny what to eat. He needs to make a phone call? Is Kenny comfortable and asleep? things like that :)
4. Robby has a hard time believing gifts and small things are for him. He went 16 years without presents and had to learn to do things himself.
5. He thinks of Daniel as a better father than Johnny ever was in his 16 years. So he normally goes to Daniel for help instead of Johnny.
6.Robby totally kicked the guy who took his mother to Mexico ass when he went to mexico with Johnny to find Miguel.
7.Robby is actually a smart kid and his best subject is math. “what’s the answer to-“ “87.”
8. Robby makes amazing food. One time, while Johnny and Carmen went to take Yaya out for dinner, Miguel almost set the kitchen on fire if Robby hadn’t gotten bored and wanted to check on Miguel, so Robby cooked for Miguel and Miguel told all his friends and his friends now want to taste Robby’s cooking.
9. Robby can get really obsessive over the people he likes and he’ll fall in deeper love when he sees their flaws and all that, so it only hurts him more when a relationship he’s in ends.
10. Finally, Robby’s favorite color is blue and green. Only because the colors dont go together, but they’re pretty nonetheless, just like him and Tory. They shouldn’t be together, but sometimes, you cant help it :)
maybe i’ll make another one, I dont know. But I really enjoyed Cobra Kai 🙏🏽
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grianhole · 6 months
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hey sso. "you motherfucker" person back with a bit more composed thoughts
THANK YOU for finally putting some rpf in the video bloggin rpf tag 😭 dont get me wrong i love roleplay fics but the messiness of ao3s tag system regarding it pains me so so much. usually i wanna read about my cubitos. BUT sometimes i wanna indulge and read some rpf gdmnit
AND ON UR (rpf) SCARIAN
i loved it oooh. youve really hit the nail on the head with the dialogue, bc it strikes a perfect balance between... idk how to explain it, silly and hot? like. from my lived experience, sexting (/phone sex) is very hot in the moment, but if you go back to reread it when completely not in the mood it sounds a bit silly (in an endearing way), and i think you've captured that well — it feels genuine
and on the rpf scarian 2 electric boogaloo... i can already feel this is going to be a "can i get a side order of heartache with that smut?" for me. bc you write grian as a bit of a slut (as is your miku given right) but i am a bit of a helpless romantic 😔 wish they only had eyes for eachother ect ect
(also, a confession i feel emboldened to make bc of your fic and the positive attention it has gotten: a while back i might have drafted an rpf ethubs fic, a bit of crack treated seriously thing where etho makes an undercover tumblr account ✌. but ive never said a word of it to anyone)
Ahhh so many kind words and nice things 💛🥺 Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it felt genuine and realistic. AND, also that it encouraged you to write!! If you ever decide to publish, link me bc we love a bit of Ethubs in this house.
"Can I get a side order of heartache with that smut?" is a good description for pt2. I'm having a bit of a hard time writing it tbh, mostly because I'm fighting with myself about whether people will really care for the plot or whether they just want some smut. It's gonna be difficult - Grian is married, and Scar lives just under 5,000 miles away but their connection is there. I've been in an LDR for almost 4 years now (with almost the exact same distance) and as hard as the apart-times are, the together-times are more than worth the wait. It's something I would really like to be able to express in a sequel to my silly phone sex fic. And maybe Grian isn't so much a slut as he is repressed and queer, y'know? (He is still a bit of a slut though.)
Anyway. I've started rewriting pt2 about 5 times at this point because words with feelings are hard sometimes. Maybe I should just stick to the smut LOL.
Thank you again 💛
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glass-expanse · 2 years
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Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
I've been 19 for a week and a day now and everything is going so much better than it was before.
All of May and June, I was deep in the trenches of depression and suicidal ideation. My 19th birthday, the evil voices were abruptly and miraculously gone. I had spent the day before stressed over scheduling an wanting to die and I broke down and just sobbed to God and told Him I couldn't fight for my life anymore and that He would have to fight for me. Just like Psalm 40 says, He heard my cry for help, He brought me up from the desolate pit, He took me out of the muddy clay, and now He is being faithful to set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. I certainly wasn't good at waiting patiently, but His mercy is more than my failings!
By His grace, I have taken on the challenge to get back into the Word. I started studying Psalm 103 today and it's every reminder that I needed for the past several months. My relationship with God, while still weak after battling depression, hasn't had the chance to be strengthened like this in months.
A little over a year ago, I got sicker than I have ever been in my whole life. I had Covid and Heatstroke at the same time. I started manifesting symptoms of Covid on my 18th birthday-- I was extremely exhausted and blamed it on stress and the hard job I had splitting myself between camp riding lessons, farm riding lessons, trail rides, camp events, and my camp cabin. Sunday I came to the staff meeting at 0 energy level. Monday I was so depressed and felt so ill that I had to skip catching. I slept through breakfast. It was supposed to rain, but instead the entire farm was choked by a thick glistening haze of humidity. Because of the rain prediction, I had on a long sleeve (light colored) shirt.
I was so weak I couldn't project my voice and had to thrust my assistant into the thick of learning how to explain concepts in the order I gave them to him. Water cups came and I sank to me knees. I had to get through my trail ride-- it was my first chance to ride a horse I'd had my eye on for so long. 17 hands tall. 5 years old. I trust him with my life. Because I white knuckled that saddle horn for dear life, praying I wouldn't pass out. I was too week to even telephone directions for a crooked saddle up the line.
Halfway through, I feel like I need a sub. Call my assistant who is leading. He says hang in there, we're almost back. I cling to consciousness. One of my best friends sees that I'm pale and out of it, springs off the manure spreader tractor, fixes my student's saddle, and leads me in by the reins.
After a chiropractor appointment I guzzled water and powerade all afternoon and talk to my fellow on the phone. I didn't feel any better by dinner so I went to the nurse. Fever. Sick. I drive home in a daze and lie in bed for the next week, too weak to even stand in the shower.
For this past year, I have suffered from fatigue, heat sensitivity, and as time went on, serious pain in every single major joint and bone of my body save my skull. Shoulders, elbows, wrists, forearms, upper arms, back, hips, femurs, knees, shins, ankles, feet, hands... You name it, any physical activity made it hurt.
I couldn't do anything I loved to do. I couldn't even work a 16 hour workweek without being totally sapped each day. things only seemed to get worse, especially as warm weather returned. I had finally given up after two weeks of a diet that only made things worse.
And then, I took a course of iv*rm*ctin. Just a children's course. During the course, I still had pain... But after... It was gone! Praise God! The first improvement I had seen in a year of taking tests, seeing doctors, taking supplements, changing diets, trying rest, trying working, trying everything short of steroids. Finally, finally! I have improved!
And today, today has been so exciting! I spent 2+ hours in direct sunlight... carried two water buckets... cut and arranged not one but TWO full size bouquets... picked berries... measured and remeasured a 60x48 area... mucked out the chicken coop a bit... planked for 30 seconds... and walked a ton. And then, after that, I didn't go inside! I stayed on the porch in part sun part shade until 6:00 or so just talking with company we had over! Staying outside in 90 degree heat! Me! Indefinitely! With no issue!
I'm sore... but in my muscles. I'm tired... but I don't feel the endless black maw of fatigue. And the sun burned my face and arms but it didn't feel like it was hitting me like a mallet anymore. I'm still working on water intake, but. This. Is. Phenomenal. Praise God for His healing!
What's next? Well, I'm praying over my plans. What I would like to do is this. Help instruct camp lessons for the final month of camp. Then after that get a job at a flower shop as the working students return to school. And while I do that, continue to build back into riding and instructing by forging a connection with a new barn where I can be mentored as an instructor. Then this fall, attend a CHA clinic to become an officially certified instructor. And someday soon as I grow in these areas, find myself a couple roommates and buy myself a project horse to expand my marketable skills.
How can you be praying? Well, my largest request would be for patience. I have been so impatient for the past year. I know I tend to be impatient with my body, my abilities, and my goals. So while I can taste the future now, I know thag I still have to be gentle with my body as it returns to being a properly usable meatsuit lol. Also wisdom, that I would know the difference between creating my own doors and going through open ones. For humility, that I may submit my heart, mind, life, plans, and freedom fully to God. That He would make His will for my life clear and that I would have the humility to accept that. For boldness, that I would seek out wise counsel rather than avoiding it out of fear.
Blessed be the name of the Lord... the trials of the past year are yielding fruit, driving me closer to God, helping me support others... This is only the beginning. Even if my health stays here forever, even if it gets worse again, I know God still has a purpose for me and that He's not done with me yet. He can do anything. His will shall come through in my life, He'll make sure of it. I may not know for certain what the next step is, but I know that God is there and I have to take the responsibility to learn His Word so that I may discern the path ahead.
Jesus loves me so much. He gave mercy to Peter, who denied Him thrice over. He has given mercy to me. No matter how far I wander, I know I am in the hand of the most high God of heaven and earth, and I know that nothing can take me away from that, not even myself! My hope is in the sanctified of Christ, that I will continue to grow closer to God despite any setbacks.
Soli Deo Gloria
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spicycowboyhole · 3 months
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taking a shower tomorrow
i didnt get much for christmas this year tbh
im kinda jealouse cuz my siblings got really expensive shit and i got like pretty much just stocking stuffers lol. i guess if i really want something i need to get it myself huh
anyway,, he texts me constantly but also calls me everyday. hes so nice to me it makes me cry. H is nice to me too. when i think about how nice these internet strangers are to me it makes me sad because i feel like im not allowed to be myself and im not accepted at home. im so afraid to be myself here and i dont feel like i fit in but when i talk to the little people in my phone?? they make me feel things? like im not crazy or weird OH MY GOD istg i cry almost everytime i talk to him cuz hes soso nice to me
idk what it is or what i wanna say exactly i kinda just wanna figure out how to word this so ik how to tell my couonselor.
what happened recently was i went to walmart with my dad and like i didnt take a shower or anything cuz we were just going to applebees and walmart and i dont even like applebees so who cares if my hair is fucked up right but when we went to walmart my dad was like you need a makeover cuz ur hair is bad and i kinda took offense honestly cuz i dont like my dad making comments about my appearence like this one time he told me i "need to work on my glamour" like wtf so i told my mom what he said to me at walmart and she AGREED WITH HIM AND SCHEDULED A DAY TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL TO BUY CLOTHES. and then so we went like on firday before christmas and it just kinda made me feel like a child and also like i was neglected when i was an actual child cuz idk i have like a lot of self image issues and i just wear whatever makes me not hate how i look and rn thats big skirt and little shirt but my mom wants me to wear jeans and regular shirt and i just think i look so bad in it. like she wanted me to get 5 outfits at the mall and i was like "so we're just gonna buy 5 pairs of the ssame pants? what if i dont even wear them?" and she said "YOU HAVE TO" so after that i felt kinda belittled? basically like i had no power or say in what im allowed to wear like A KID. BUT when i was an actual kid i would litterally go to school and my shoes would fall apart and i used the same ugly backpack from like 6th til highschool. like i dont understand why my parents suddenly care about how i look? now that im an adult? theyr ebasically saying they dont like how i dress and that upsets me because i feel like im finally able to learn how to express myself with how i dress now that im not inschool and scared of how people might percieve me and theyre judging not just how i look but also me yk
i NEVER got compliments when i was younger. i mean definatelelty not as much as i do now that im not as afraid of being myself. i mean people compliment me on my hair, my outfits, my glasses, my voice.
IM SMART, IM FUNNY, IM SILLY, IM WITTY, IM CUTE, IM PRETTY
IM GOOD
my hwole life everyone would describe me as quiet, shy. i thought i was weird, abnormal, i thought everything i liked was stupid.
i think i just need to get out of here.
its so hard to not hate myself when everyone around me sucks.
again, self image issues, insecurity, shame. when i was younger i used to hide pictures of myself cuz i just thought i looked so ugly and i still do. i'll look at those old pictures and think why would my parents let me go out in public like that? like ive always thought i was only cute as a toddler and then went downhill after that lol. but anyway im working on that by saving pics of myself when i was younger cuz thats me!! and if i were my parent i wouldve been a way better parent than my actual ones. she deserves everything she wants.
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mesocarp · 6 years
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today has been one of the worst anxiety days i’ve had in ages fjfjkfdkkskskdkfkf
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hangovercurse · 3 years
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Nothing
Part i of the Without You series: When Colson and Megan break up, the boys count on Y/N to piece Colson back together, which only leads to disaster.
Colson x Reader
Warnings: Colson being kind of a dick, cursing, a little bit of aggression/ violence. This one’s definitely angsty.
A/N: This was supposed to be just a one part fic. Then that turned into 2 parts. And then 3. And then all of a sudden I had written 5 parts and over 10,000 words. Enjoy 😊 (also this is v unedited so if you see a mistake... mind ya business)
Word Count: 2084
| ii | iii | iv | v | vi |
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When you got the text from Rook, you knew it was probably gonna be bad. 
Megan just left him, for good. Not gonna be pretty the next few days so maybe don’t come by anytime soon. 
Your heart broke for your best friend. Colson had been really in love with Megan. And as much as you hated seeing them together for your own personal reasons, you could tell he was really happy. 
Ok. Let me know if you guys need me. If it gets bad I can take Casie for a few days. Take care of him for me pls. 
You and Colson had been friends for years now. You knew almost everything about each other, you told him everything. He let you crash at his place after your ex kicked you out, and you had spent many hours curled up with him, watching stupid movies to distract him from his most recent breakup or mental breakdown. 
But this was different. Colson told you he wanted to marry her at some point, and you knew he wasn’t lying. And you couldn’t blame him. As much as you hated no longer being the only women (other than Casie) in his life, you couldn’t dislike Megan. She was just one of those people who everyone loved. 
The thought of texting Colson crossed your mind, but you weren’t sure if it would hurt or help. From the sound of it, he was a wreck.
So, naturally, you texted Pete. 
Have you talked to Cols yet?
With Colson came Pete, or came you, you weren’t really sure. Somewhere along the way you and Pete had become close friends. He was like the older brother you’d never asked for, and he would probably say something similar about you. 
You couldn’t really explain it, Pete could read you like a book. And because of that, he knew everything. He was the only one to catch on to the way you sometimes looked at Colson for too long, or got irritated when he’d bring a new girl around. 
I’m heading over there right now. You should talk to him.
You rolled your eyes.
Not sure that’s the best idea. You guys are better at handling... all that. Once he gets a little less angry then I’ll take him. 
Pete texted you back a few minutes later.
Thanks for the support, kid. I’ll keep you updated. Just pulled in.
Good luck, Petey.
You tossed your phone on your bed, a sigh leaving your lips. You decided worrying was a problem for another day.
No more than 12 hours later you were getting a phone call from Rook. 
“Dude it’s like 4 in the morning, why are you calling me.” 
“Y/N, we’ve tried everything. He’s locked up in his room and every time one of us tries to talk to him he blows up. Literally he almost punched Slim a few hours ago.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning at the predicament. “So now you want me to come over?” You asked, “What do you think I’m gonna be able to do?”
“Well he’s not gonna try and hit you for one. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he’s significantly nicer to you than to anyone else.”
“What do I even say to him? “Sorry that the love of your life broke up with you but at least we can smoke pot and watch Spongebob?” I mean come on, man. I’m not good at this.”
“Please.” He pleaded, “We’re all out of options and I can’t stand to see him get any worse than he is.”
You moved off your bed and towards your dresser. “Fine, I’ll be there in 15.” 
You threw on the first pair of sweatpants you could find and slipped on shoes, grabbing your key and heading out the door.
True to your word, you pulled up to the house 15 minutes later, parking on the side of the street and heading straight into the house. When the guys saw you, they visibly brightened up. 
“You guys are such fucking wimps.” You rolled your eyes as you made your way towards the stairs. 
Baze chuckled, “We love you Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes and continued on your way, stopping by Casie’s room to see if she was asleep. To your surprise, she wasn’t. 
“Hey sweet girl,” you whispered as you entered her room, “why are you still up?”
She smiled a little when she saw you. “Couldn’t sleep. I’m really worried about Dad.” 
You leaned on her doorframe, sending her a sad smile. “I am too. But he’ll be okay. Your dad’s pretty tough.”
“I know,” she sighed, “but he really liked Megan.”
“Did you?” You ask, trying to gauge her emotions. 
“I mean, I guess so. She was nice to me. Most of his girlfriends aren’t that nice to me.” 
“That’s a pretty shitty way to measure if you like someone or not.” She giggles at that. “Don’t tell your dad I said that word in front of you.”
“Ok. She was nice. And she made him happy so, yeah, I guess I liked her. Not as much as I like you but...” Casie’s voice got higher as she dragged out the last word and you just rolled your eyes with a chuckle. 
Casie had this fantasy of you and Colson getting married one day, but you always told her it would never happen. 
“Ok kiddo, whatever you say.” You teased her, “try and get some sleep, okay?” 
She nodded with a smile. “Are you gonna go talk to Dad?”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later, okay? If you need to come over and talk or stay the night or anything just call me, okay?”
“Okay. Love you.” She said quietly. 
“Love you too, Case.”
You shut the door to her room, moving down the hallway to Colson’s door. You took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare for what was about to happen, and knocked. 
“I told you guys to go the fuck away.” A muffled yet angry voice said from the opposite side of the door.
“It’s me, Cols. Y/N.” You said, hoping he could hear you. 
When you got no response you asked, “Can I come in?” 
A few more seconds of silence followed, and then the lock clicked and the door opened. You stood face-to-face with your best friend. His hair was a mess, falling in his face. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever, and the frown he wore made him look even more pathetic. You felt your heart breaking. 
As you met his eyes, you gave him a sad smile. “Hey Cols.” 
Instead of responding, he wrapped his arms around you, leaning down and resting his head on your shoulder. You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair. 
He started walking backwards, pulling you with him as he continued to hug you. One of his hands pushed the door shut and he sat on his bed, finally letting go of you. 
You looked down at him, grabbing his hand and holding it in your own. It was something you had done before, you two were very touchy people and so half of your friendship was just you two cuddling or play fighting or holding hands.
“So we can do one of three things,” you started, “We can talk about it, we can cuddle and watch something stupid and pretend nothing’s wrong, or we can get high and do something stupid.”
For the first time in what you would imagine to be all night, Colson smiled. it was a very small smile, but you took it. 
He looked up at you through his eyelashes. “And by stupid you mean...”
You rolled your eyes, “I mean we can go set off bottle rockets in the backyard or try to jump off your roof and into the pool.” 
“Oh damn. I was hoping you were gonna say you would suck my dick.” 
Your eyes widened at his bluntness and the implication. You shoved his shoulder, “Colson! That’s gross!” You giggled, but his expression was unwaveringly serious. 
“I’m being serious.” He deadpanned and you furrowed your eyebrows. 
“Colson what the fuck?” Your mind was spinning trying to figure out if he was joking. 
You got your answer when he stood up, grabbing your waist and leaning over you. “I thought you’d want to...” 
You took in a breath at the sudden proximity, trying to back away from him but his grip remaining firmly on your waist. “Colson, stop. Please. This isn’t funny.” 
You could smell the alcohol on his breath and you had to keep reminding yourself of that fact. He’s drunk, and sad, and doesn’t know what he’s saying. 
“I thought you’d want to, cause it’ll make me happy. And you’ll do anything to make me happy.” One of his hands reached up and grabbed your jaw, making sure you couldn’t look away.
“Colson you’re being a fucking weirdo, let me go.” You raised your voice. Your heart was racing at this point and the thoughts flowing around your head were not pretty. 
You were always anxious for the day he’d figure you out. When he’d finally realize how you felt for him. But this was worse than anything you’d thought of. 
“You’ll do anything to make me happy because you love me, right?” 
You felt tears stinging in your eyes, wanting nothing more but to look away from his sinister expression. The way he was looking at you made it very clear that he was enjoying your discomfort, your embarrassment. 
“Colso-” 
He walked forwards, pushing you gently against the wall. His arms went to either side of you, his face inches from yours. You tried to look away, but his hand on your jaw forced you to face him.
Any other time you would have loved for Colson to pin you against his wall, but this was wrong. 
“Just say it. Say you’re in love with me, and I’ll drop it.” 
“Colson, what the fuck are you on right now?” You tried to steer the topic away from you, but he wouldn’t have it. 
“Say it.” 
You reached up to try and push his chest away from you, but he was much taller and stronger than you, so you did nothing. 
“Just tell me!” He yelled at your silence. A tear slipped down your cheek as you trembled under him. His face was red and his eyes were watering. 
 “Why are you doing this?” You whispered. This all felt like a bad dream, like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. 
“Because I need to know if she was right.” His voice got a little quieter, but he still wouldn’t move away from you. “I need to know if the reason the love of my fucking life just left me is true.”
You were shaking, your breaths getting shorter. “What are you talking about.” Your words were choked. The grip on your jaw started to get a little too tight.
“I defended you!” He yelled, tears falling from his face. “She told me that you were in love with me and I defended you.”
“Colson you’re hurting me.” You whined, trying to wriggle your way out of his grasp. He ignored your statement and continued talking, but his grip loosened slightly.
“And then she told me that she thinks I’m in love with you.” His voice was getting darker. “And that’s why she left. So I want to make it very clear to you.” He paused, leaning closer to your ear. “I will never love you. Ever. Not now, not in a million lifetimes. You mean nothing to me.”
Your vision was blurry from your tears, so you blindly reached out to push him away from you. His body seemed to have given up, as he moved backwards out of your way, stumbling slightly. Through your tears you could make out a smug smile on the man before you ran out of the room, slamming the door behind you.
You ran down the stairs, the guys waiting for you to give them good news, but their hope turned to concern once they saw you. You walked straight past them towards the door, not trusting yourself to say anything without breaking completely.
As you reached for the door handle you heard a faint yell from upstairs, followed by loud banging, and then silence. You sniffled, turning the handle and leaving the house, much to the protest of your friends.
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samanthadalton · 3 years
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Star Crossed Lovers (part 14)
Do my eyes deceive me???? part 14???? we did it. im so sorry its taken forever, i will try my best to be more consistent with my writing. love yall for being patient with me it means the most. thank you, thank you. 
warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide
reader discretion is advised
warnings: angst, swearing (lots of it) 
taglist: @drmmyrs @cloud9in @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @fall3ngods @helpconfusedpersonhere @clowneryme @dopeyouth @boys-girls-i-cant-help-it-baby @vonda-b-real @uselesslesbianfr @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings @somethindarker (sorry again if ive missed anyone, if you wanna be added on this taglist or my general one just let me know 😊) 
word count: 4k (i feel like its short considering how long it took me to write but i still hope you guys enjoy) (also i didnt check for grammatical errors properly so sorry if you find any) 
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13
The first steps to moving on 
“Bea please,” Poppy whispers, a repentant look creeping up to her face as she looks away from her girlfriend. “It can’t wait.” 
Bea sighs, her shoulders slumping as the last remains of her anger disseminates from her body. “Okay fine, lead the way babe.” 
Poppy stiffens that the pet name but she doesn’t let her awkwardness slip as she leads Bea to a secluded classroom, far away from prying eyes. Both her and Bea turn to look at each other, and both simultaneously open their mouths to talk. 
“I know you wanted to tell-” 
“We need to talk-” 
Both clamp their lips shut, a mutual smile playing on their lips as they look at one another. 
“You go first,” Poppy gestures towards Bea, as she moves to sit on the edge of a desk. 
Bea inhales softly, her tongue darts out licking her lips as she looks down at the ground, her face calculating. “Why does Chloe hate me?” She looks up to Poppy, her eyes boring into the strawberry blonde’s, sadness swimming inside of them, “I just don’t get what I’ve done for her to hate me.” 
Poppy sighs heavily, her eyes awkwardly darting away from Bea’s. “It’s complicated Bea.” 
“Complicated?” Bea lets out a humourless laugh, “I almost just went off on Chloe after she gave her condolences for my mom dying because I just felt she wasn’t genuine and you wanna tell me it's complicated?” 
Poppy sharply inhales, contemplating for a few moments before saying, “it’s because of your mom.” 
Bea scrunches her brows up in confusion, “my mom? What the hell does she have to do with this?” 
Poppy ineptly plays with her hands, not being able to look Bea in her eyes, “at first it was just a classist thing. When you first came to Belvoire, she just wanted to make herself feel superior over you, but in the last year you’ve noticed her getting more mean right?” 
“Right.” Bea stares at Poppy, her expression emotionless. 
“Chloe’s parents have been fighting non stop recently, and it’s been affecting her a lot.” 
Bea’s brows furrow in confusion, “what does that have to do with me or my mom?” 
“Just let me explain first before you react, please.” Bea’s eyes bore into Poppy’s for a few seconds before she nods understandingly. “Her dad cheated on her mom. A lot of times actually. But he was blackmailed by one of the women he slept with.” Poppy pauses for a few seconds, “your mom.” 
Bea lets out a shaky breath, her eyes blinking in disbelief, “no, you’re lying.” 
Poppy nervously bites her bottom lip, “look Bea-” 
“How long have you known?”
Poppy’s face scrunches up in anger, “this isn’t my fault Bea. I only found out that day I went to talk to Chloe about us. Chloe made me promise not to say anything to you-” 
“Poppy! My mom OD and I don’t even know why. And now you’re telling me she was blackmailing the St James family and it doesn’t occur to you that might have had something to do with her death?” 
“They’re not the fucking mafia Bea, jesus. They were trying to settle it quietly by giving your mom some money and make her sign some stuff so she couldn't threaten them anymore.” 
The devastating ramification of Poppy’s admission hangs in the air as the two girls let the words settle into them. “Chloe really is sorry about your mom Bea, we all are.” 
Bea sighs, staring off into space, as a few tears begin to fill up in her eyes. “I just don’t know what to do.” Bea begins sniffling, but Poppy makes no movement to console her girlfriend. Bea notices and her expression sobers, “so, uh what did you wanna tell me?” Bea sniffs a few more times, before looking up at Poppy, giving her a small encouraging smile. 
Poppy looks away, guilt creeping up on her face, as she tries her damndest not to catch Bea’s small smile on her face. “Bea…”. Bea carefully assesses her girlfriend’s demeanour, noticing the similar body language during when they first asked to take a break, she thinks back to the last couple of days, she had barely heard from her girlfriend, and now she’s not affectionate, even after she almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway and her smile drops. “We have to break up,” Poppy says, her tone so monotone and dry as if she didn’t mean the words she was saying at all. 
“I don’t understand,” is all Bea can muster, evidently hurt by Poppy’s admission. Poppy winces slightly at Bea’s tone, finally breaking her robotic demeanour as she lets out a few sniffles. “So is that it? We have to break up,” Bea retorts mockingly, “is that all I get after all these years?” 
“Bea..” Poppy reaches out but Bea immediately takes a step back, tears flooding in her eyes. 
“No,” she holds her hands up, “I don’t get it, things are going good, or at least whatever twisted definition of good we’ve made up. Where the hell did this come from?” 
“Bea my dad-” 
“Of course! Hayden Min fucking Sinclair had something to do with this. Why do you still live under his shadow? You talk all this shit about breaking out of your father’s prison and wanting to achieve your own goals but he sucks you back in.” 
“That’s not fair Bea,” Poppy interjects, balling her hands up into fists in an attempt to subdue her trembling, “my dad has given me so much and he’s threatening to take it all away.” 
“Yeah, all you have to do is get rid of me. Me or the Min Sinclair name.” 
“Bea this is the life I have, okay I’m not like you, I’m not built like you.” 
“So what? I can grow up without a dad and now without a mom but it’s okay because I’m used to pain and disappointment?” 
“I didn’t mean it like that, you have a plan, things you can achieve, I need the Min Sinclair name, I’m nothing without it.” 
“Wow.” Bea shakes her head, “So I just meant nothing?” Bea wildy throws her arms in the air, anger bubbling under the surface of her demeanour. “We’ve practically been together since we were kids. And you’re just gonna fucking throw that away? And for what? Fuck you Poppy.” 
Poppy takes half a step back, dumbfounded by Bea’s outburst. She scrunches her brows, evidently hurt, “you don’t get it Bea. Even though your mom wasn’t the best, she still supported you, even if you didn’t know about it. My dad he- my mom what would she think?” 
“Your mom? Poppy what kind of shit is your dad brainwashing you with? Your mom is dead! You have no idea how she would react to having a gay daughter, but I know she’s probably disappointed in you.” 
“Fuck you Bea.”Poppy runs out of the classroom, tears streaming down her face, leaving Bea on her own. 
“Shit,” Bea whispers to herself before throwing a bunch of punches at the wall, each more cathartic than the last until she can’t physically hold herself up anymore. Bea defeatedly slides into a chair, cradling her head in between her hands, letting the tears free fall, as reality begins setting in that she lost the one thing in the world that was her everything. Poppy Min Sinclair was her rock, the girl who she gave her heart to, the love of her life and just in a matter of moments it was over. Maybe it was too good to be true. The beautiful, perky popular rich girl and the girl who had almost nothing, complete polar opposites, it never should’ve worked. But time and time again when faced against the world they persevered so why was this time different? Poppy had chosen her namesake over the love of her life. She chose the life of glitz and glamour over the girl who gave her her entire heart. Bea feels her entire world crashing down, how much more heartbreak could she take? Was her life always going to be so hard? So full of hurt? Full of pain? She winces at the thought, her head hammering as she comes to the realisation that she understood her mother’s pain more than she thought. 
…. 
Bea hops off her bike, parking it in front of her house, as she pulls her phone out to look at the time. ‘It’s lunch time,’ she thinks to herself. After the day she had today, school wasn’t the best option for her right now. She makes her way to her front door but stops in her tracks when she realises her front door is slightly ajar. Her survival instincts kick in as she effortlessly pulls out her pocket knife, carefully pushing the door fully open. As she steps into the living room, her eyes dart to the closed door of her mother’s room, but when she hears a creaking sound coming towards her bedroom, she cautiously moves towards the source of the noise, the grip on her knife tightening. As she creeps up, she sees the door of her room half opened, a hooded figure standing by her bed with their back facing her. 
Bea stealthily sneaks up to the figure placing the knife a few inches from their throat before lowering her voice to a threatening tone, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing?” The figure gasps, dropping a bag that’s in their hands with a deafening thud before raising their hands in a sign of surrender. 
“It’s me, it’s me,” the voice whimpers out. 
“AJ?” Bea raises her eyebrows, retracting the knife from his throat while pulling down his hood with her other hand. “What the fuck are you doing?” Bea takes a step back while AJ scrambles grabbing the bag he just dropped moments before. When he turns to face Bea, his eyes are wide, filled with fear as he clutches the bag closely to his chest. 
“I have to go,” he says as he attempts to run out of the room, but Bea pulls him back, her face crumpled in suspicion. 
“No we’re not doing this, give me the bag now,” Bea snatches the bag out of his hands before he can protest and opens the zipper to find it filled with cash. She grits her teeth, anger settling into her features as she whips her head up to AJ, “is this my fucking money?” 
“Bea, I- I can explain-” 
“What the fuck AJ!” Bea throws the bag onto the bed, the cash spilling out as she jabs an accusing finger at AJ’s chest. “You’re stealing from me now? I haven’t seen you in god knows how long, you don’t call, text nothing. Even after everything that’s been happening in the last few weeks but you have the audacity to fucking steal from me? Money that I’ve spent years saving? Money that I’ve bussed my fucking ass off for, are you serious right now?” Bea’s voice is filled with rage as she’s practically screaming, her voice now thundering. AJ winces, guiltily averting his gaze to the ground, unable to meet Bea’s eyes. 
“I’m sorry about your mom Bea, I wanted to visit-” AJ croaks out.
“But you didn’t,” Bea interjects, her voice lowered but filled with hurt. “And now you’re taking money- I mean what is so important you had to steal from me.” 
AJ paces towards the bed, hanging his head in shame, when he speaks his voice is quiet, full of fear, “I’m in some bad shit Bea. These guys aren’t playing around.” 
“I told you not to fall into the wrong crowd, I warned you this shit would happen.” 
“Bea please, I’ll pay you back I just need it.” 
“No! What the fuck, when will you pay me back huh? This is my college money, I’m not letting you give that away to your crackhead friends.” 
“Bea please,” AJ clasps his hands together, his tone pleading, “I don’t know what to do.” 
“AJ I have too much shit on my plate right now, I can’t deal with this. You need to find something else, I can’t help you.” 
AJ’s face pales but he stands up, and makes his way towards the door, before leaving he turns to look back at Bea, “I’m sorry about everything.” 
Bea keeps her eyes trained on her bed where the money is sprawled all over the mattress, “yeah me too,” she replies quietly. Bea hears the front door close and she collapses to the ground, letting the tears flow. 
……
A few days later, Bea sits in her dark living room, curtains shut and lights completely off as she wallows in her sadness, drinking from a bottle of cheap beer, as she stares absentmindedly at the ceiling, so drowned in her thoughts she doesn’t hear the resounding knocks on her door until she hears a voice call out, “Bea! Are you there?” 
Bea crumples her brows, forcing herself to stand as she makes her way to the door, she wearily makes her way to her front door only slightly opening the door before poking her head out. “Veronica?” Veronica gives the girl a wide smile before pushing the door more open, ushering the figure behind her into the house too, “Carter? What are you guys doing here?’ 
Veronica looks around the dark room, noticing the pile of empty beer bottles on the floor, “yikes, drinking on your own on a friday night Hughes? That’s really sad.” Carter stands near the edge of the living room, as if he’s an explorer, his eyes darting all over the living room as he assesses this new environment. 
Bea on the other hand scowls at Veronica, “what the hell do you want Veronica, I’m not in the mood.” 
Veronica frowns slightly, pouting her lips together, “we heard about you and Poppy.” 
Bea rolls her eyes, “yeah well I’m trying to forget about her.” Bea picks up her beer bottle from the ground and makes a show by exaggeratingly drinking from the bottle until it's empty. She discards the empty bottle along with the other ones before turning to look at Veronica and Carter, “so if you’ll excuse me.” 
Veronica steps towards Bea, wrapping her hand around the brunette’s arm, “we’re not here for Poppy stupid, we’re here for you.” 
Bea raises an eyebrow, “for me?” 
Veronica turns to look at Carter, beckoning him forward, Carter breaks out of reverie and clears his throat, “yeah uh, we wanted to take you to a party.” 
“A party?” Bea looks between them confused, “I’m not that interested guys.”
“Wait, wait, wait Bea,” Veronica pleads, pulling Bea closer to her, “you’ve never been to a Belvoire party and the year is almost over, we thought we should take you to at least.” 
“I don’t know guys,” Bea says skeptically, “a lot of people don’t like me.” 
“Who gives a shit? You just had your heart broken and you need to let loose.” 
Bea sighs, pulling away from Veronica, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 
“Come on, it beats drinking in the dark on your own.” 
Bea sighs, dropping her shoulders, “what about uh Poppy?” 
“Poppy?” Veronica arches a brow, “her and Chloe are staying in tonight, she said she needed to catch up on homework or something.” 
Bea purses her lips together in thought before sighing,  “fine.” Veronica cheers, “but,” Bea over enunciates, “only for a few hours and if I don’t like it I’m going home.” 
“Okay, deal,” Veronica squeals, wrapping Bea in a big hug. Carter chuckles as Veronica gestures for him to join the hug, he awkwardly wraps his arms around the two girls, before pulling away. 
“Okay, I’ll wait in the car while you girls get ready. Just uh don’t take too long.”
Veronica playfully rolls her eyes as she Bea towards her bedroom, yelling back “thanks Carter.” Giddy, she rushes to Bea’s closest, assessing her clothes until she finds a short red dress hidden in the back. “This!” 
“No, no, no,” Bea shakes her head, pulling the dress out of the ombre-haired girl’s hands. 
“Why not? It would look so hot on you,” Veronica’s eyes trail down Bea’s body, as she sharply inhales. “Bea, you’re single and sexy, stop holding yourself back okay?” 
“I’m not,” Bea pushes back defensively, “I just-” she sighs heavily, “no one at Belvoire has ever seen me dressed up, I’m just- I’m nervous I guess.” 
“Then we have to show them what they’ve been missing for the last three years,” Veronica gives Bea a devilish smile as she takes the dress from Bea’s hands, sliding the dress off the hanger before handing it over to Bea. 
“Uh you gonna stay in the room?” Bea nervously wrings her hands together. 
“Why, are you offering a show?” Veronica lifts a teasing brow, noticing Bea’s cheeks redden slightly, which prompts her to let out a small laugh, “I’m kidding, don’t worry I won’t look.” Veronica makes a show of raising her hands to cover her eyes. Bea laughs as she slips out of her clothes and into the dress, she awkwardly clears her throat, grabbing Veronica’s attention. 
“Hey, uh help a girl out with her zipper?” 
“Sure,” Veronica moves to stand behind Bea, her hands ghosting around Bea’s exposed back, her breath momentarily taken away. She sturdies herself and places one of her hands on the small of the brunette’s back while the other moves towards the zipper, zipping the girl up. Bea smooths the dress down with her hands appreciating herself in the mirror, “you look gorgeous,” Veronica whispers into the shell of her ear. 
Bea’s face completely flushes red and slightly jerks at Veronica’s admission, “uhh thanks.” 
Veronica notices the awkward shift in the atmosphere, and promptly changes the subject, “so where’s your sister?” 
Bea sits in front of her mirror, a comb in her hand as she brushes her long locks, “she’s staying at a friend’s tonight.” 
“Cool,” Veronica answers back but her tone falls flat. The girls bask in the awkward silence as Bea continues to get ready but when Veronica notices Bea struggling to do her winged eyeliner she breaks the silence. “Hey do you need help?” 
Bea smiles bashfully, “yeah.” She rubs the back of her head with her hand, “sorry Poppy used to help me with my makeup.” 
“Right,” Veronica’s face slightly falls but she quickly covers it up, ushering Bea to come and sit on the bed. “Come on, I don’t bite,” Veronica bites the bottom of her lip, “unless you want me too.” Bea laughs but obliges sitting on the edge of the bed. Veronica clambers onto her lap, her thighs settling on the sides of Bea’s legs, and in response, Bea’s eyes widen in surprise but she remains glued in her spot, too shocked to move. 
“V, what are you doing?” Bea whispers, her voice attempting to come across as reprimanding but it comes out as breathy. 
“Relax, I’m just doing your eyeliner.” Veronica plucks the wand from Bea’s hand and angles herself close to the brunette’s face, as she begins drawing on the wings on Bea’s eyelids. Bea steadies herself, as she feels the heat of Veronica’s body so close to hers and when Veronica is finished with putting the finishing touches on her eyelids, she hops off Bea’s lap, making her way towards the desk, scuffling through Bea’s makeup bag before taking up her place on Bea’s lap once again. “Now I think this colour would look good on you,” 
“You don’t think it’s too much red?” 
“Oh babe, red means power, dominance, you don’t wanna be thinking about Poppy the entire night, you wanna have all eyes on you Bea Hughes.” Veronica uncaps the lipstick, her eyes burning into Bea’s lips as she carefully applies the red colour to her lips. “Perfect.” 
Bea smacks her lips together, evenly spreading the red on her lips. “Thanks V.” 
Veronica’s eyes dart to Bea’s lips, her tongue slightly running along her bottom lips before she breaks out of her reverie flashing Bea a smirk, “don’t thank me yet, thank me when you’re having the time of your life at the party.” Veronica slides off Bea’s lap, holding her hand out, “come on let’s finish up because Carter’s been waiting for a while.” Bea smiles up at Veronica, taking her hand as she lets the ombre-haired girl pull her off the bed, as they continue getting ready. 
………
Once they arrive at the party, Carter drops the girls off at the front of the huge house before telling them he will park the car. Veronica’s gaze darts to Bea, who’s nervously toying with her hands, looking up at the intimidating house, the lights blaring and as the music echoes throughout, the bass thumping in their ears. Noticing the nerves settling into her, Veronica slips into Bea's, giving her a reassuring squeeze, “hey, it’s okay, it’s just a bunch of drunk, preppy uptight teenagers, nothing you don't usually face everyday.” 
Bea lets out a small laugh, “just in a big ass house,” she jests. 
“Yeah, just in a big ass house,” she gives Bea a light squeeze as she starts pulling Bea into the house with her. Automatically, they’re met with stares and whispers, as the students look astonished at Bea, some appraising her outfit, while others are confused about her presence. “Hey, just stay with me okay?” Veronica whispers over to Bea. Bea nods, her eyes roaming the room. “I’ll get us drinks.” The ombre-haired girl gives Bea a reassuring pat on her arm and leaves her side and Bea walks into the living room, observing the difference between the vibes of the party between the north and the south. Her thoughts then move to think about Poppy, how Poppy would love going to parties in the north but Bea couldn’t find the appeal in it. Poppy. Poppy, who broke up with her. She’s interrupted from her thoughts by a tap of her shoulder, and Bea turns around to see Veronica offering her a red solo cup, Bea takes a sip and winces. 
“What the hell is this crap?” 
“Yeah for a bunch of rich kids, their taste in beer isn’t the best,” Veronica jokes, slightly nudging Bea. 
“We have way better beer in the south side.” 
“That I can agree with.” Veronica looks over to Bea who looks lost in thought, “hey what are you thinking about?” 
Bea sighs heavily, “Poppy,” she mutters. 
Veronica nods once, “right, yeah.” 
“Poppy would’ve loved a party like this, big fancy house an-” 
“Bea,” Veronica says, her tone slightly agitated, “this,” she gestures around the room, “is a no Poppy zone. That means we don’t think about Poppy, only about fun.” 
Bea nods, “fun. I can do that.” Veronica lifts her cup in the air, “what are we cheering to?” 
Veronica gives Bea a smile, “here’s to the first steps in moving on.” The girls tap their cups together before downing their drinks. “Now if we wanna get drunk, we’re gonna need a lot more of these.” 
The party is still ongoing, and Bea sits in a circle with a few girls from the volleyball team and a few of the football team and other people she doesn’t recognise while Veronica sits beside her. 
“Bea you look so pretty,” one of her teammates says. 
“Yeah Bea your makeup is literally gorgeous,” another chimes in. 
“Who knew strip tease can clean up well,” Ford jests, but Bea slumps her shoulders a little, remembering that these people are not her friends. 
Carter enters the circle slapping Ford on the head as he goes, “shut up, Hughes is cool.” Bea gives Carter a nod of appreciation before looking down at the drink in her hands. Her thoughts move a million miles a minute, but there’s a constant one stuck in her brain, Poppy.
Veronica looks over at Bea, frowning. “Hey come with me.” She stands, excusing herself from the group and Bea follows her close behind. 
“Where are we going?” 
“We’re gonna play a private game of truth or drink.” 
101 notes · View notes
meltwonu · 3 years
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 20] FINAL
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, shibari, dom!seungcheol, dirty talk, overstimulation/forced orgasms, squirting, degradation, name calling, daddy!kink, gags! 😍💕 ✨HAPPY NEW YEAR!!✨ Here’s to more fun fics in 2021! I can’t believe this is our last chapter though omg 😭 It’s been suuuuch a journey and a privilege to write this little series out! I’ve honestly thought about a camgirl/boy series for like, over a year now, and I’m glad I finally did it! I completed one of my goals! 🥺💕 2020 was definitely a wild one, but I want to thank you all so fuckin’ much for supporting me and stickin’ it out with me all year! Here’s to more in the coming year!💕 Also I was proofreading this at the dining table last night thinking my roommate wouldn’t come out of their room but they did(while I was making dinner and my hands were dirty so I couldnt close my laptop ☠️) and they walked past my laptop and now I’m convinced they saw my fucking smut fic right in the open so yes my little mini-break next week is MUCH needed cause I am ✨embarrassed✨ 🤣 I’ll still do my inbox roundup tomorrow and probably answer a bunch of small thirst posts ‘n stuff throughout the week but there won’t be any drabbles! For now, enjoy chapter 20 🥺, have a safe weekend, and remember that I love you~ ❤️🍒💕
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 COMPLETE
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Seungcheol wakes up much earlier than you do the next morning; pressing a kiss to your forehead as you groan and snuggle deeper into your pillow.
“Baby, I need to go run some errands for a little bit, okay? Just keep sleeping, you don’t need to get up yet. But, I made breakfast and put it in the microwave for you when you decide to get up later.”
His voice is muffled and you can barely understand what he’s saying but you nod; a soft sigh on your lips when you drift back into dreamland. He takes his time getting ready, checking his phone notifications as he gets dressed and places a note on the nightstand knowing that you didn’t catch a single word he said.
‘Hey, did you get everything I asked for?’
Jimin🧍🏻: of course, who do you think I am? Jeongguk?
Jimin🧍🏻: and btw, i’m just giving you a crash course okay? We don’t really have a ton of time
Jimin🧍🏻: did you watch those tutorial videos I sent you?
‘Yeah, I did some practice on my breaks, but I guess you can tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.’
Jimin🧍🏻: okee, i’ll be waiting. Don’t get here too late!
‘I’ll be otw soon. Thanks again, Jimin.’
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“Ow--damn, okay, you don’t need to tug on it so much!”
“Sorry, I’ll be careful! And why are we practicing on you anyway?! Couldn’t you just have shown me pictures or something?”
“How else will you learn if not on an actual body? It doesn’t work the same way, Seungcheol.” Jimin pauses, checking himself in the mirror. “Also, keep in mind she does have boobs so just… go slow, okay? It’s not gonna sit like this on her.”
Seungcheol blushes a crimson red; biting the inside of his cheek at how amateur he was at this.
“Okay…”
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Seungcheol is gone for a lot longer than you anticipate and although he replies quickly to your texts, you can’t help but be curious about where he’d gone and what he was doing.
Especially knowing that the two of you had to film tonight and knowing that everything was up to Seungcheol.
A shiver rolls down your body at the thought and you quickly try to shake off the nerves that seem to slowly invade your body when your mind starts to wander.
“It’ll be fine, I’m sure…”
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“I’m home!”
“Where have you--oh, that’s… a b-big box? Um, should I be concerned...”
Seungcheol grins, shrugging as he sets it onto the kitchen counter. “Just some supplies for tonight. I had to go pick them up from a friend but I had to make sure everything was right.” He notices the way you can’t seem to take your eyes off of the box; eyes twinkling when he makes his way towards you.
He tilts your head up to meet his in a searing kiss, lips easing into a smile when you wrap your arms around his neck and melt under his touch. You moan against his lips just before he pulls away; staring dreamily at him while his hands start to roam over your clothed body.
“We have a long night ahead of us, sweetheart. Let’s pamper you a little before then, hmm?”
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j__min: ??? where’s the loverboy
j__min has donated $200
angelhan has donated $75
therealchan99 has donated $50
xcaliburDK has donated $75
xcaliburDK: is that the sybian? Haven’t seen that in a looong while
You bite your lip and nod, somewhat shy as you sit alone in front of the camera. “Seungcheol’s still… setting up but he told me to start! I’m a little nervous, to be honest…” Your eyes flit to Seungcheol who rummages through the box in the kitchen and from the angle you’re sat in, you can’t see a single thing he takes out.
Earlier, he’d cooked you your favorite meal and even took the time to give you a full body massage before the two of you cuddled on the sofa and watched a movie. To you, it seemed a little too suspiciously tame and you only found yourself more nervous when he made you drink two glasses of water and ever so quietly announced it was time to start getting ready for the camshow.
“He’s being so suspicious! He was even gone for a few hours earlier today…” You mumble; brows furrowed at the camera before checking the comments.
It still amazed you every time with how much money you and Seungcheol made from the camshows and videos and it made you feel even better knowing that everyone loved the chemistry the two of you had together. There were a lot of video requests and ideas mixed in with the comments at any given time and you were definitely ready to pitch some to Seungcheol now that you’d rebranded your channel to be a couple’s channel instead.
“Almost done, sweetheart!”
gc__koo: he told me to watch cuz he was being suspicious with me too 
gc__koo has donated $50
alphagyu97: what is he even plotting
alphagyu97: i am excited to see the sybian again tho ngl
artist8hao: pretty baby gonna squirt for us again?
universe_WZ: hell fuckin yea let us see how fuckin wrecked you get on that machine
You feel your pussy clench around emptiness at their comments; already feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter with the anticipation.
Movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention and Seungcheol walks towards the bed with a wide smile and the same box in hand. “Ready?” You can only nod back slowly, watching as he dumps the contents of the box right next to your body.
gc__koo: oy
chwenon: oh shit
sleepy_wonu: oh baby, you’re in for it now
sleepy_wonu has donated $100
Your entire body fills with warmth as you look over the various objects; unsure of where to really look first. “I, um--”
A stack of red ropes sits next to a small bullet vibrator that sits next to a ball gag that sits next to a pair of EMT shears and your eyes immediately flit up to Seungcheol who only smirks back at your shocked expression. “I had some other toys I wanted to use but I figured I should go easy on you, y’know? Since you showed me some mercy last night.”
Nodding, you reach out towards the ropes, touching them shyly. “Why red?”
“Thought they’d be on theme for you, babygirl.”
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Seungcheol takes his time; remembering Jimin’s words when he tugs the ropes around your wrists.
“Colour, babygirl?”
“G-green… daddy…”
He nods, sitting up on his knees behind you as you sit on the sybian and face the camera. You bite your lip, somewhat embarrassed that you were already soaking the toy underneath you as Seungcheol worked to bind your arms behind you.
“D--daddy, where did you l-learn this?” You whisper, somewhat curious if this had anything to do with why he was gone for so long earlier in the day.
“Mm, daddy’s friend Jimin was kind enough to help me get the tools and teach me a few tricks to make sure I kept my babygirl safe. Wasn’t that kind of him?” You nod gently, gulping when you shift atop the machine slightly in hopes of relieving some of the growing sexual tension in your body. “Why don’t you thank him properly, sweetheart?”
Your hazy eyes make eye contact with the camera, head tilted slightly. “T-thank you, J-Jimin… for--for helping daddy…”
j__min: omg a shoutout ive made it
kitty_junjun: we never thought we’d see the day
tangerine_kwan: and here we all thought you were gonna be the bad guy huh
hoshi_tiger_xx: like when u only see previews of the book online but the rest of it is different ykwim
Seungcheol makes sure your arms are bound snug enough but not too tight; leaning away slightly to admire his rope work. “Feeling okay so far, babygirl?”
Nodding, you whine back slightly. “Y-yes, daddy… But… my--my pussy wants s-something…” He laughs in return, readjusting so that he’s sitting on your side this time to give himself easier access to start the rest of the bindings.
“Is that so? You’re gonna have to be a little more patient this time ‘cause daddy’s not done yet.” He starts working on the rest of the harness; going slow and checking in with you often to make sure none of the ropes were digging into your skin or making you uncomfortable. “You’ll have to forgive me a little though, I’m admittedly a ‘lil inexperienced so our pretty babygirl is only going to be tied up in this pretty harness for tonight.”
gentleman_josh95: the fact u even took the time to learn just for her
gentleman_josh95 has donated $100
artist8hao: seriously, the dedication
kitty_junjun: we stan a man who knows safety and etiquette 
Comments of reassurance and donations flood in at Seungcheol’s small apology and although the two of you are in your own world; you can tell from just the amount of pings coming from your laptop that they all seemed to be encouraging him.
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as Seungcheol continues to move around you on the bed to finish the harness and a smile graces his lips when he starts to secure the last knots in the back. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back at how neatly he’d done it for his first time.
“There. All done, baby.”
Your eyes flit to the laptop’s screen to see yourself; cheeks hot when you see how fucked out you already look and he hadn’t even touched you properly or turned on the machine.
The star harness Seungcheol had tied looks pretty with red ropes and you can’t hide your smile at how good it looks on you too either. “Ah, daddy made it really p-pretty… Thank you.”
This time, Seungcheol nods, letting you admire yourself as he silently reaches for the small remote for the sybian, switching it on.
Your entire body lurches forward as soon as the vibrations attack your clit and you immediately find yourself moaning and grinding down onto the machine as he gives you some relief.  
“You’re welcome, babygirl. Now let’s really have some fun, huh?”
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You need to cum.
Badly.
“Awww, is my pretty baby drooling? Does it feel that good on your sensitive ‘lil clit?” He teases, smoothing down your hair as you cry around the ball gag in your mouth; drool seeping out from the side of your lips when he raises the vibrations a setting higher.
You don’t know how many times he’d played with the settings and edged you by now, but all you do know is that the urge to cum only grows stronger as you grind against the machine, soaking it with your wetness as you chase the pleasure building up in your body again.  
Surely cumming was okay, right? He never said you couldn’t.
You whimper around the ball gag, eyes fluttering shut when the tension in your body snaps in the blink of an eye and your thighs clamp down onto the sides of the machine. Throwing your head back, you moan against the gag and ride out your high as Seungcheol watches you from the side.
“Mm, bet that felt good, huh? But I know you want something in that greedy ‘lil cunt of yours, don’t you? You want daddy’s cock slamming into your tight ‘lil hole ‘til it’s full of my cum, right, sweetheart?” He licks his lips, turning off the sybian as you slump forward.
universe_WZ: shit shes so sensitive
chwenon: especially with her arms bound like that i bet she’s on cloud nine rn
gentleman_josh95: her cute lil head is probably all fuzzy already from all the sensations
therealchan99 has donated $100
gc__koo has donated $75
j__min has donated $150
All you can do is whimper and nod; teary eyes blinking back at Seungcheol as he smirks and leans in towards you.
“Mmm, you’ll get what you want eventually. But for now, you’re gonna cum again.”
He turns the sybian back on, licking his lips when he sees your body tensing again. It was always easier to get you to cum a second time and his point is proven when you mewl around the ball gag a few minutes later; chest heaving in stuttered breaths as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit when you’re quickly thrown into another orgasm.
“You always cum for daddy so easily, don’t you, babygirl?”
Your head feels fuzzy after already cumming twice in such a short span of time but you nod, head lolling to the side as Seungcheol finally turns the sybian off for good.
Seungcheol gives you a second to catch your breath before he’s scooting in and fiddling with the clasps at the back of your head to take the ball gag off.
A thread of saliva connects your lips to the gag and you whimper at how good it feels to be able to actually speak again. “D-daddy…” Drool drips from your mouth as your lead lolls forward and Seungcheol is quick to bring a hand up to keep your head up as he looks into your lust filled eyes.
“Colour, sweetheart?”
“Still g-green…” He nods back, checking to make sure none of the ropes had shifted. “Would you like some water before we continue, baby?”
“Yes, daddy…”
He fetches you a glass of water, tilting it against your lips as you down the entire glass and you find yourself a little surprised at how needed it was. “Thank you, d-daddy…”
“You’re welcome, babygirl. Ready to keep going?”
You nod, a little bit more energized. “I hope everyone, mmh, l-likes the show so f-far~” Your teary vision prevents you from reading the comments and before you can even make an effort to, Seungcheol is already helping you off of the machine and helping you sit on the bed across from him.
alphagyu97: ugh she looks so fucking good in that harness
angelhan: right? That shade of red looks so good against her skin too
angelhan: so fuckin pretty
tangerine_kwan: pics for the private room later? Plz i beg
Seungcheol takes this time to take off his boxer briefs, cock curving up against his abdomen when he’s fully naked across from you. He wraps a hand around his cock, moaning and spreading the precum down his shaft as you watch. “D’you want this, baby?”
Your lips fall open in a silent moan as you watch Seungcheol jerk himself off and you can’t help but squirm. “Y-yes…”
“Tell me exactly what you want then. Let them hear what a filthy little slut you are for me.” You can’t help but feel miserably empty watching him and despite having already cum twice, you want his cock fucking you open and making you cum again.
“I--I--”
“Yes, babygirl?”
“I, ngh, I want d-daddy’s cock… Please? Ah, I--I wanna feel you fucking my--my pussy into the, mmh, s-shape of your c-cock… And I w-want you to c-cum inside my--my slutty little h-hole…”
Seungcheol scoffs, hips shallowly thrusting up into his enclosed fist. “That’s right. You’re just my slutty ‘lil babygirl that lets me use all her tight holes how I please, right? You like it when I cum down your throat and in your pretty ‘lil ass. But we all know you like it best when I cum in your hot ‘lil cunt. Makes you feel all warm and full, doesn’t it? You like it when my cum is dripping out of your spent cunt and sliding down your shaky thighs.” This time you nod furiously as you whine back in response.
“P-please… Can’t wait any--anymore!”
This time, the impatience takes over as you slightly tug on the ropes; whining when they don’t give. “Daddy!”
And this time, he gives in quicker than he anticipates, growling as he reaches for the EMT shears to cut you from the harness. “Don’t let your arms down, no matter how much you want to. You’re going to strain your arms if you move too fast so let me handle it, okay, sweetheart?”
The sudden gentleness in his voice has a giddy warmth pouring over you as you nod and sit still while he cuts at various points of the harness to make the ropes fall loose around your arms and chest. You keep your arms in the same position like he requested and you soon feel his hands roaming your skin and massaging your arms to get the blood flowing again.
“You’re so good for me, baby.” He whispers against your hair, leaning down to kiss your shoulder before he slowly easing your arms down from being folded behind your back.
He continues to massage your arms for a few more minutes before it’s you that’s getting impatient. “Daddy… Can you fuck me now?” Whispering, you slightly turn your body to the side to meet his gentle stare.
Seungcheol laughs under his breath, nodding. “Lay on your back for me, legs spread.”
You follow his orders as you quickly scramble to get into position; legs spread wide for him to situate himself between.
“Mm, your pussy is still so fuckin’ wet. I wanna taste you on my tongue, baby.” Whines spill from your lips as you shake your head ‘no.’
“No! My p-pussy feels empty, I need y-your cock, daddy… ‘n I’m so wet, you can probably, ah, just s-slide your cock in…”
He wraps a hand around his cock just as you wrap your legs around his waist and he guides himself until the head of his cock is right at your entrance.
Neither of you say a word as he slowly starts to sink his cock in; guttural moans on his lips when he meets no resistance and bottoms out in a singular thrust. “Holy fuck, your cunt is so fuckin’ wet. Shit, and so t-tight!” You clench around him, already feeling good with his cock inside of you as you beg him to fuck you hard and fast.
“Ngh, p-please fuck me like--like I’m your, hah, c-cocksleeve… I want it f-fast, daddy!”
He grits his teeth at your words; drawing his hips back before snapping them into you just how you wanted. “Fast, hmm? All you think about in that pretty head of yours is my cock pounding you open, huh? Slamming into you so fuckin’ good, it makes your toes curl when you cum.”
Seungcheol starts a quick pace, already feeling the pleasure building up for himself when you’re reduced to garbled noises and broken cries of his name. The heels of your feet dig into the small of his back as you try to press him in closer and he’s quick to reach for the small bullet vibrator left on the bed next to your body.
“Your body is so fuckin’ sensitive, I can already feel how tight you’re getting around me. So fuckin’ greedy to cum too. Already came twice and you still want more. You’re not satisfied until your whole body is shaking underneath me, huh, sweetheart?” He turns the small toy on, pressing it to your clit as you yelp and let out choked sobs.
“Ah, ngh, d-daddy, my--my clit’s t-too sen--sensitive! I--I can’t--!” Squirming, you feel the pressure building up obscenely quick; bottom lip quivering when he takes one of your free hands and makes you hold the toy to your swollen clit.
“Just a little more, sweetheart. Don’t you wanna cum?”
He angles his thrusts to graze against your g-spot and loud cries of his name leave your lips in a hurried, jumbled mess when he only doubles his pace.
The sound of donations and comments pour in like water and get lost within the ringing in your ears; unable to even warn Seungcheol that you’re about to cum when you feel your entire body starting to lock up underneath him.
Your lips part in a silent scream and your back bows off of the bed, thighs shaking uncontrollably as you cum for the third time. Seungcheol growls, fucking you through it as you squirt all over his lower half.  He finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as you cum, but he feels himself quickly following suit with your warm walls fluttering around his cock.
“Fuck, baby, that’s right. Squirt for me, get me fuckin’ soaked while you cum.” He uses a free hand to make sure you keep the toy pressed to your clit, growling when he starts to unload his cum inside of you. “Mmh, gonna fill your cunt up with what you want, baby.”
A shaky moan leaves your lips as you feel him throbbing inside your pussy; walls clamped down onto him in a vice grip as you ride out the remnants of your orgasm.
“Ah, d-daddy’s cumming suh--so much inside of my p-pussy…”
Whining, you feel Seungcheol’s grip on your hand give way as he rides out his pleasure and you take the opportunity to turn off the small bullet vibrator while he doesn’t notice.
You watch his face contort in pleasure, hips still shallowly thrusting into you as his entire body shivers above you.
“D-daddy’s so h-handsome...” You mumble, cheeks hot when he cracks a smile through the pleasure wracking his body and chuckles under his breath. 
“Thank you, babygirl.” 
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After you end the show, Seungcheol makes sure to cuddle with you on the bed for a little while longer.
“One more glass of water, baby.” You whine in response, pouting up at him before he gets up from the soaked sheets. 
“But I already had a glass! If you have a piss kink just say so, ‘Cheol!”
He lets out a boisterous laugh at your comment, trudging back to the bed from the kitchen with another glass of water for you. “You need to be hydrated, sweetheart. You came three times and we played a little more rough today. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” 
“Fine, but you didn’t deny my comment.” You snarkily reply, taking the glass from him as you down the water. 
“Don’t make me have to punish you again! I’ll have you know I still need to get you all washed up and change the bed--”
A faint pinging has the two of you turning to the laptop; still on your camming homepage from where you’d checked the revenues from tonight’s show. 
A small [1] sits above your inbox and Seungcheol is quick to turn to you with an eyebrow raised. “I thought you turned off the messaging system on your profile?” 
You tilt your head in confusion, handing him the emptied glass. “I did. The only messages I should get are from, like, the actual system admins or other creator accounts which, I haven’t received any ‘til... now, I guess?”
Seungcheol sets the glass down onto the nightstand before he takes a seat next to you, dragging the laptop closer as you go to check the notification. 
“’Love&Letter Films’? Aren’t they one of the biggest adult film companies?” Mumbling, you click on the message, giving yourself and Seungcheol a second to process the message that stares back at you; a shocked smile on your lips.
‘Hello!
I hope this message finds Cherry and Seungcheol well. 
We, at ‘Love&Letter Films’, have really enjoyed the shows and videos from your channel throughout the years and we really have enjoyed watching the growth of your channel and the addition of Seungcheol to it. The dynamics between the two of you are rare in this industry and we’ve yet to see anyone like the two of you in this market. 
The shows from the last two nights have proven that the two of you have the right kind of chemistry to film together for bigger productions and we would love to hire you for a few film productions we have planned in the upcoming weeks as a feeler. Of course, all expenses paid by us if you would kindly take our offer. 
We love the various scenes and roles that the two of you take on with ease and we would love to help propel your careers forward, should you pursue a career in the adult entertainment industry. 
Please don’t hesitate to contact me as I’ve listed my contact information below. I’m excited to hear from the two of you and hope to work with you in the future on many projects.
Respectfully, 
Kwon Soonyoung, L&L FILMS CEO’
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searchingwardrobes · 3 years
Text
Ivory Runs Red: 5/6
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First off, massive thanks to the @cssns​, my beta @demisexualemmaswan​, and my artist @cocohook38​. Cocohook created this amazing cover art, and she is working on something else too to go with this story. The rough sketch made my jaw drop, so I can’t wait for ya’ll to see it!
This part  is going to be a little long, but I need to address something that I got multiple comments about. Just bear with me; this is the only way I can think to clear things up. I was really surprised to see that some people were angry at David and Mary Margaret for not doing anything to find Emma and/or "allowing" her relationship with Neal. Others simply expressed things along the lines of "I hope you explain what David and Mary Margaret did about all this." The reason this reaction surprised me so much is because I thought it was clear that they HAD done something. Why would the Golds need to get rid of police files if the Swans never reported Emma missing? Why would issues of the newspaper be missing from the library if Emma's disappearance wasn't reported on? Obviously, David and Mary Margaret did something! As for Neal, they had no idea Emma was seeing him. If you'll recall, in a previous chapter, Emma told Killian she had to sneak out at night to meet Neal. So that wasn't Snowing's fault either. Also, how would any of these characters know what David and Mary Margaret did or didn't do for their daughter? This is almost a hundred years later, and Emma's memories are dulled from being a ghost for so long. The only way I could spell out clearly how Snowing handled their daughter's disappearance would be some sort of convoluted info-dump, and I didn't want to destroy the tone and mood of the story to do that. But just so everyone knows: Yes, Emma's parents were devastated. They did everything in their power to find her, never giving up hope (which is so in character for them!). They died still believing she was either still out there or that crimes against her had gone unpunished. It broke their hearts. The Golds spread rumors that Emma was some kind of slut who ran away with a guy, and the people of Storybrooke overall thought the Swans had gone crazy. So there it is, that's the back story that I just couldn't figure out how to fit in the story, lol.
I'm not mad at the questions, to be clear. I was just surprised by them. I guess I blame the show for ruining these two as parents the last couple of seasons. Maybe that's why everyone jumped on them so fast. I was also honestly worried that ya'll would be upset with me for not addressing the topic, hence this long explanation! No one was rude by any means, so don't go trying to defend me from nonexistent trolls, lol! My feelings have NOT been hurt. I simply wanted to address the questions that were asked and the misplaced anger toward Snowing. (Not anger towards me - but fictional characters!)
Okay, now that I've cleared all THAT up, let's get on with the next chapter, shall we? And I'll go ahead and warn you: this is gonna hurt . . .
Summary: When ebony flashes gold, blood runs cold. When ivory runs red, you’ll be dead. Killian Jones had heard the old rhyme his entire life. Every child did in Storybrooke, Maine. They heard it whispered in the dark at sleepovers as children; taunted as a challenge as teenagers. Killian never believed it was actually true. Until that fateful night …
Rated M for graphic depictions of violence, abusive relationships, and major character death (I mean, it’s a ghost story ya’ll, people are dead. BUT I promise, there is a happy ending. Trust me? *peeks from around a corner*)
Length: 6 chapters, complete, updated every Friday
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four
Also on Ao3
Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @kmomof4​ @xhookswenchx​ @let-it-raines​ @bethacaciakay​ @tiganasummertree​ @shireness-says​ @stahlop​ @scientificapricot​ @spartanguard​ @welllpthisishappening​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @thislassishooked​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @kday426​ @ekr032-blog-blog​ @lfh1226-linda​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @nikkiemms @optomisticgirl​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @ohmakemeahercules​ @carpedzem​ @branlovestowrite​ @superchocovian​ @hollyethecurious​ @vvbooklady1256​ @winterbaby89​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ @jennjenn615​ @snidgetsafan​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @lassluna​ @distant-rose​ @courtorderedcake​ @winterbythesea​ @thesschesthair​ @killian-whump​ @thisonesatellite​ @batana54​ @it-meant-something​ @xsajx​ @therooksshiningknight​ @gingerchangeling​​
Chapter Five: Run
“You’ve got to tell them what you saw - what you’ve learned,” Killian pleaded. 
Graham shook his head, his curly hair falling in his eyes as he stared at the slender hands he clasped in his. His eyes were bloodshot, his jaw sported far more facial hair than it normally did, and Killian didn’t have to ask if he’d slept in the past forty-eight hours. 
“They won’t believe me.”
Killian’s jaw clenched in frustration. “But if I saw Emma, and you saw her, then maybe they’ll believe -”
“That Belle saw a ghost push Mike Gaston off the troll bridge? They’ll believe that? Really?” Graham let out a sarcastic, bitter laugh. “You really are just a naive kid if that’s what you're thinking.”
“But you’re a cop!”
“I’m still only nineteen! They’ll think we’re just over-imaginative teenagers.” Graham paused, reaching up with one hand to trace the curve of Belle’s cheek as she slept in her drug-induced prison. “That will land us in rooms just down the hall with our own IV full of an antipsychotic cocktail. How will I help her then?”
“You’ve fallen in love with her.” It wasn’t a question. 
Graham sighed. “How could I not? And how could he -” He broke off, his blue eyes flashing. “I’m not sorry he’s dead. If I’d been there and saw him hurt her -”
“Shh, I wouldn’t say things like that. Not here.”
Killian’s gaze fell to the bruises around Belle’s neck, and he didn’t blame Graham at all. It terrified him to think what could have happened if Emma hadn’t shown up.
“History repeats itself,” he murmured under his breath. 
*************************************************
Killian had scarcely arrived at the bridge when headlights blinded him. He turned away, blinking, stumbling, refusing to be stopped. 
“Emma! Emma!” he shouted. He tripped and dropped his flashlight. It broke as it hit the ground, rolling to the edge of the bridge. Now all he could see was ebony before him and radiant luminescence behind him. 
His palms scraped against the asphalt as Liam hauled him to his feet. His brother gripped his upper arms so tightly it was almost painful, and he gave him a brief shake. 
“You’ve got to stop this!”
Killian fought him. “I have to see her!”
Liam had always been broader than Killian with an unfair advantage in all their childhood tussles. Even now, Killian was no match for him as he lifted him bodily with one arm and hauled him over to his car. 
“You need help!” Liam literally tossed him into the backseat. 
“I’m not going home!” Killian tried to scramble out, but Liam just shoved him back inside. 
“Good, because I’m not taking you home.”
*******************************************************
“Why won’t you be straight with us, kid?”
Killian glared at the detective with a cynical sneer. The psychiatrist on the cop’s left frowned at Killian’s attitude. The choice of words was cruel considering he was in a literal straightjacket. His vision of the two men was obscured by the long strands of dark hair before his eyes. Haircuts were apparently seen as a luxury on the psych ward. 
“I’ve answered all your questions,” Killian finally told them wearily, “you just don’t like what I had to say.”
“Because we want the truth,” the psychiatrist, Dr. Archie Hopper, said gently. He was clearly playing the part of “good cop.” Or “good doctor.” Whatever.
“I told you the truth.”
“There’s no such thing as ghosts.”
Killian snorted a laugh. “Tell that to Mike Gaston.”
The detective’s voice took on a harsh, warning tone. “Mike Gaston was the victim of murder.”
“The victim!” Killian cried, his voice snapping up. “What about the bruises he put on Belle? Or the fact that I nearly died when he tied me to that bridge!”
The detective’s lips curled up in a lewd sneer as he lit a cigarette. “If some horny teenager likes it a bit rough, that’s none of my business.”
Killian fought his bonds, his jaw clenching at the detective’s insinuation. He was as bad as Neal Gold, maybe worse. He had to be pushing fifty at least, and a pot belly strained at his button up shirt. His eyes widened as Killian raged.
“Bothers you though, I see.” He leaned forward. “Nobody blames you for wanting her, kid. Nobody blames you for being jealous. But murder? That’s a different story.”
“I told you I had nothing to do with that!”
The detective glanced at Dr. Hopper, and the soft spoken psychiatrist took over. “Killian, start at the beginning for us. What did Belle say when she called you that night?”
“I’m telling you, she didn’t call me, she didn’t come to my house. I saw her early that afternoon at the library. That was it. Then my brother got a phone call that there had been an accident, and we came to the hospital.”
“You and Belle were at the library together a lot,” Hopper said softly, “what did you two do there?”
Killian rolled his eyes. He hated the patronizing way the man asked the question. “We studied. Did our homework. We were friends.”
The detective snorted again, and Killian wanted to scream. “Drop the act, kid. You really expect us to believe that you spent all that time with her, all that time with a hot chick, and you never fucked her?”
Dr. Hopper recoiled at the foul language, and Killian thought his own jaw might actually break. 
“You’re just as much a misogynistic, narrow-minded, neanderthal as Mike Gaston.”
The detective grinned and slapped Dr. Hopper on the knee. “You were right, shrink, this kid’s smart.” He took another puff of his cigarette as he eyed Killian. “Smart enough to plan an elaborate murder with your knocked-up girlfriend?”
“That’s the most ridiculous - wait - did you say knocked up?”
“Hm,” the detective mused, leaning back in his chair and rubbing at his five o’clock shadow. “You didn’t know?”
Killian was horrified when a laugh slipped past his lips. Another bitter laugh followed, then another, until before he knew it, he was shaking with them. He was laughing hysterically while wearing a straightjacket. That thought made him laugh even more, and if he didn’t seem like a lunatic before, he sure as hell did now. 
“What the hell is so funny?” thundered the detective.
Killian’s laughter stopped abruptly and he leveled the man with an intense stare. “History repeating itself. That’s what’s so funny.”
A smile that he knew bordered on manic curled his lips. Yes, history had repeated itself, and this time, Emma Swan had won. 
************************************************************
They didn’t have enough to charge him, or Belle, or anyone else really with Gaston’s murder. It was officially declared an accident, and theoretically, Belle French and Killian Jones were free to move on. 
Killian wouldn’t say it was easy for Belle. She had severe trauma from that terrifying night, and she ended up losing the baby because of it. Nevertheless, she had Dr. Hopper’s patient help, her father’s support, and Graham’s unwavering devotion. Soon, though it would be a long time before she was truly healed, she was able to go home. 
Killian, on the other hand, didn’t really want to go home. For one, he, unlike Belle and Graham, refused to stop talking about Emma - refused to lie and say he made it up. He didn’t fault his friends for it; didn’t take it as a betrayal. He even understood their reasoning when they begged him to do the same and just play along, damn it. He simply couldn’t do it. Emma was too real, too precious. He knew her in a way they never would. He knew the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - let that go.
The psych ward wasn’t so bad. The drugs numbed him to the point that he sailed on a sea of oblivion half the time. He’d stopped fighting, so there was no more straight jacket, no more bed straps. 
And she came to him. Sometimes the drugs meant he wasn’t lucid enough to really carry on a conversation. On those nights, she curled up next to him on the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and caressed his cheeks. She pressed kisses to his lips, and sometimes he could respond in kind. 
Other times, though admittedly rare, they would talk. About everything and nothing at all. One night, they talked about their dreams for later, after high school, and suddenly Emma began to weep. 
“I know,” he soothed, brushing her forehead with a kiss, “you fear you can never have that. But maybe we can figure it out. If we somehow get the truth out. About your murder -”
Emma silenced him with a finger to his lips. “That isn’t it, Killian. It’s you. I have no more tomorrows but you can.”
His brow furrowed, and she sighed and soothed the lines away with the pad of her thumb. 
“But not if you keep holding onto me.”
His arms instinctively pulled her closer. “I’ll never let you go.”
She sighed, and sadness filled her eyes. She slipped out of his embrace and rose from the bed. Her skin grew white, her gown floated in an ethereal way at her feet. He frowned and scrambled to a sitting position. 
“I have to say goodbye,” she told him. She said it with an edge of discovery in her voice. Her lips turned up in a soft smile even as a tear slipped down her cheek. 
He shook his head and tried to reach for her, to leave the bed, but he had just enough drugs in his system to make his movements sluggish and ineffectual. 
“I won’t let you see me again.”
“No, Emma, please! I love you!”
“And I love you. That’s why I have to do this.” 
She was already fading away. Killian made a fist and slammed it into his thigh. Tears stung his eyes. 
“Be happy,” she told him, “for me.”
Then she was gone.
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kuroopaisen · 3 years
Text
tiny love || iv
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➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. but that was a year ago - things are different now. and you have other things to worry about.  
warnings: f!reader
wc: 2.6k
m.list | ch. 3 ↞ ch. 4↠ ch. 5
“Are you sure you’d be okay with that, Tooru?” You asked, trying to keep your voice as normal as possible.
Your heart stuttered in your chest. You were sat on the edge of your bed, phone pressed to your ear and fist twisted up in your sheets. There was a chill in the air that wouldn’t have bothered you under normal circumstances.
But after those words had left your brother’s mouth, something about the room felt sharp.
“I’m the one who suggested it, aren’t I?” Tooru chuckled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
You bit the inside of your cheek, pain blossoming through the muscle. “I don’t know,” you mumbled. “I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable with me living with one of your friends.”
“Iwa’s a good guy,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, you guys have known each other for ages. He’ll look after you, I’m sure of it.”
You chewed on your lip for a moment, at a total loss of what to say.
“It’s not like he’s going to try and get in your pants or anything,” Tooru snorted.
Godzilla. The couch in your family’s entertainment room. The warmth of his lips on yours.
But you couldn’t tell Tooru about any of that. Although, the moment he’d suggested you move in with Iwaizumi almost made you crack.
By some stroke of bad luck – or perhaps as the set-up for some cosmic joke – you’d gotten into the same university as the boy you’d been so enamoured with as a seventeen-year-old. And you’d genuinely had no idea.
But it was too late to change your plans. You’d already gotten a scholarship, and you were sure you parents wouldn’t forgive you if you pulled out now. Even if your instincts were telling you to do just that.
“Have you spoken to him about this?” You asked. Perhaps this was your out. If Iwaizumi wasn’t all for it, then there was absolutely no reason for you to agree with it. Right?
“Yeah,” Tooru said. “He’s all for it.”
You frowned. Iwaizumi? Okay with this? Even though he was the one who’d decided that you needed to distance yourselves from each other?
But… it’s been a year. And he’s been a university student living in another country. A lot had probably changed for him.
A lot had changed for you.
And as much as you wanted to deny it, there were benefits to living with Iwaizumi, at least for one semester.
Moving to America is scarier than you’re willing to admit. The thought of living with an unknown roommate in a country you’d never stepped foot in before had kept you up at night a few times.
What if you hated each other? What if something went horribly, terribly wrong and you were left stranded? What if they were a creep?
At least Iwaizumi was a known quantity. One that you hadn’t necessarily left it on terrible terms one; just awkward ones.
“You still there?” Tooru’s voice shocked you back to the present moment.
“Oh, yeah,” you cleared your throat, “is his LINE still the same?”
“Sure is!”
Your throat felt dry. “I’ll call him later.”
You twisted your fists in your bedsheets, a weird knot forming in your stomach.
“Good,” Tooru hummed. “I think it’ll be good for you. You don’t need to be completely alone when you first move over there.”
Guilt twisted in your chest. You knew why he was saying that. He’d told you just how lonely those first few months in Argentina had been.
He didn’t want that for you. That’s why he’d suggested this damn roommates idea.
If only he knew.
“That’d be good,” you said. It wasn’t a lie.
Another thought sat at the back of your throat, forcing its way out.
“Tooru, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for it.”
Your voice was painfully quiet as you finally breathed life into the one fear you didn’t want to admit. You hadn’t even mentioned this to Amaya. But you knew you could trust Tooru with this – perhaps, he might even be able to say something useful.
“You’ll be fine,” he said, his tone as gentle as he could muster. “I didn’t think I was ready, either.”
“I figured,” you grinned. For all his bravado at the airport, a few dozen follow-up phone calls had really sowed that idea in your mind.
Tooru scoffed. “Here I am, trying to be a good older brother—”
“Sorry, sorry,” you laughed. “I appreciate the attempt.”
“You know, you’d think that me moving half way across the world would be enough to get you to finally be nice to me,” Tooru sighed, and you don’t need to see him to know that he was running a hand through his hair dramatically. “But alas… I’m doomed to be mistreated by my very own sister.”
“Have you considered being less dramatic?” You teased. “Then maybe I’d take you a bit more seriously.”
You held the phone away from your ear as Tooru started his tirade,
“If I’m being completely honest,” he said, his tone now much heavier than before, “I thought I was making a big mistake for a second there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Two weeks in and I wanted to run back home. I wondered if I could really do this.”
A part of your brain told you to be surprised. Another part told you that of course he’d be frightened.
Tooru is just a human, not some superhuman who’s above mortal concerns – no matter how much he tried to hide that fact.
“Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.”
A gentle, relieved silence settled between the two of you, the only sound the distant din of traffic from Tooru’s end of the phone.
“I’m glad to hear it,” you murmured. Sincerity was rare between the two of you, but you weren’t about to pretend to be anything but relieved.
“Trust me, it’s going to be fine,” Tooru sighed. “And if it doesn’t end up working out, you’ve still got time. You’re young. And you’ve got a home to go back to.”
You searched for the comfort in those words as best you could. But you couldn’t find any. He hadn’t intended it, but within those words was a little reminder that you might fail. That you might not even come close to the brilliance that is Oikawa Tooru.
“Thanks, Tooru,” if all you could say. He’s just trying to be helpful.
“Besides, if it all goes to shit, you can join me in Argentina!” His voice was a tad more gleeful than you would’ve liked.
“I don’t think I’ll be doing that,” you chuckled.
“Aw,” he whined, “why not?”
“You’d be such a helicopter parent.”
Tooru gasped, the sound piercing over the phone line. “I would not!”
“You would!” You laughed. “You’d meddle in everything?”
“And?” He scoffed. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“Yes!” You protested. “I’m not a child anymore.”
“Ah, well you see,” Tooru tutted. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ll always be a child to me.”
You rolled your eyes, a comfortable feeling of familiarity settling in your chest. Suddenly, your room doesn’t feel so cold. “I didn’t answer your call just to be coddled.”
“You should be used to it by now.”
“You know, whenever I start to miss you, I’m going to remind myself of this.”
“You are so mean to me!” Tooru wailed.
The bickering went on, an endless cycle of well-worn insults and epithets. But the conversation had to come to an end. You knew you couldn’t put off contacting him any longer.  
Eventually you ended the call, holding the phone to your ear for a couple of moments after it was over.
You sighed, letting it drop onto the bed. You flopped back in tandem, staring up at your roof.
Life really was just one big joke, huh?
Although, you wished you understood what the punchline was.
✧ ✧ ✧
You stared at Iwaizumi’s LINE profile a little longer than you should’ve.
It’d been a couple of hours since you’d ended your call with Tooru, and you’d only just worked up the courage.
In your defence, you hadn’t been planning on this. You’d expected to have a very different phone call with a complete stranger, deciding from a handful of phone conversations as to whether or not they were trustworthy enough to live with.
But there you were, about to call The Iwaizumi Hajime.
It’d be fine, right? That little heartbreak had happened well over a year ago now. It’s irrelevant. And you’re well and truly over it.
Not that the thought of calling him didn’t make you feel like you were about to throw up from nerves.
God, why did it feel like you were about to sit an exam?
No, you weren’t going to let your anxiety get the better of you. Not when your education was – sort of – at stake.
With a heavy sigh, you clicked the little call icon and held the phone up to your ear.
The ringing sounded like a death march.
“Hello?” Iwaizumi’s unmistakable voice crackled through your speaker.
Yeah, you definitely felt like you were about to throw up. “Hello.”
The line fell silent.
You bit your lip. Maybe you shouldn’t have done this. Maybe you should’ve just lied and told Tooru that you’d already worked out lodgings. Sure, there’d be a last-minute scramble to get something in place before your parents caught wind of your little lie and—
“How are you?” The words were a little gruff, a little awkward.
This was going to be a very long conversation. You could feel it in your bones.
“I’m alright,” you said, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. “How about you?”
“I’m doing pretty good,” he said. There’s something different about his voice. Maybe it was a little deeper than when you’d last spoken? Or maybe you were imagining it.
Truth be told, you can’t really remember what he sounded like.
“That’s… good to hear,” you said, a paltry attempt at an implied olive branch.
“Yeah, uh…” He cleared his throat. He was probably scratching the back of his neck as he spoke. You hated yourself for even assuming. “Things have been going well.”
A long silence followed. A very painful silence.
A silence, you realised, that you had to break.
“What are you studying?” You asked. A nice, neutral question.
“Exercise science.” The response was immediate. Was that… relief in his voice?
“Oh, really?” You blinked.
“Yeah,” he said. “You sound surprised.”
Your mouth hung open for a moment, searching for a response. But nothing felt adequate enough. Did you really sound surprised? Why did you feel the need to defend yourself?
“I mean I…” You bit your lip, frowning. “I don’t know, I just… wouldn’t have picked that for you.”
Did he just chuckle? You could’ve sworn you heard a chuckle.
“What would you have picked for me, then?” He asked.
“I…” You racked your brain, trying to stitch together all the knowledge you had of the boy – no, the man on the other end of the phone. “I have no idea, actually.”
He distinctively chuckled that time. Damn the swell of pride in your chest.
“Why exercise science?” You asked, genuinely curious.
“It’s the only chance I have of beating Oikawa.”
It’s so instantaneous and ludicrous that you laughed.
“That… doesn’t make much sense, but okay,” you smiled. You were well-aware of the competitive edge that ran through their friendship. Good to see that hadn’t faded, at least.
“You’ll see,” he promised. “Just you wait.”
You chuckled in response as another silence settled over the two of you.
What was there to say? What did you want to say? It’d been so long that you weren’t even sure.
“So…” Iwaizumi said, voice unusually tentative. “Oikawa told me you’re coming out here.”
“Yeah,” you nodded. That’s right. That’s the whole reason you were calling him.
“That’s a big move,” he marvelled, as if he hadn’t done the exact thing he was talking about.
“I know,” you murmured. “I’m kind of scared.”
“What of?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. Perhaps your lips were looser than they should’ve been. “I just… I’ll be in a whole new country. Alone.”
“I see.” There’s something comforting about his voice. Something stable. He’d always been a good listener, hadn’t he?
“And… it gets more daunting the closer it gets.”
“Mhm.”
“And I’m scared I’ll regret it.” There it was. The one fear that you hadn’t admitted to anyone else – not Amaya, not your parents, not Tooru.
“Why?” Iwaizumi asked.
“I don’t know, I…” You bit your lip, a frown settling on your face.
Now you’d given that fear a voice, you understood it less. Wasn’t the opposite supposed to happen?
“Do you regret moving so far away from home?” You asked.
Iwaizumi wasn’t Tooru. He wasn’t driven by the same insatiability. He had his ambitions, yes, but he didn’t break his back trying to reach for them. Maybe, just maybe, that meant he’d be easier to understand.
“Sometimes,” he admitted.
“Ah.” Not quite the answer you wanted to hear.
“But…” he sighed, “it’s been a good experience.”
“So… a net positive?”
“I’d say so,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of experiences I’m grateful for.”
“Right,” you nodded.
“I heard you got a scholarship,” he said.
“Did Tooru brag about that?” You groaned, running a hand down your face and bending over your knees.
“Sure did,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” you sighed, biting back the urge to say, ‘it’s not a big deal.’ The last time you’d said that, Amaya had shot you quite the glare.
You swallowed roughly, looking down at your feet.
One deep breath, and it would be time.
“So…” you started, the back of your neck prickling. “Tooru said he’d spoken to you about me… potentially moving in with you?”
“Yeah, he did.”
Ah. Nice and blunt.
“Would you… be alright with that?” You asked, hands a little clammier than before. “I wouldn’t want to impose…”
“Well, I don’t like the idea of just dropping you in America with nowhere to go, so… the offer’s open.”
He sounded honest, at least. Not that you had reason to believe he would be anything but.
“Right,” you nodded. “Thanks.” You licked your lips, trying to stop your nerves from getting the better of you. “I appreciate it,” you added, unsure of how strange that might be to say.
“Not a problem.”
You couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.
“I can send you the information over email,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“The lease and stuff like that. Also, the address so you can actually see where it is.”
“Oh, right…” you swallowed. “Yeah, that’d be useful.”
“Alright, I’ll get that ready for you.”
“Thanks,” you mumbled. “I need to discuss this with my parents, so I’ve got to go…”
“All good,” Iwaizumi said. “Talk to you later.”
“Yeah,” you sighed, lowering the phone from your ear and tapping the red ‘END CALL’ icon.
You tossed your phone at your pillow, watching it land with a muffled ‘thump’. It pinged with a notification – probably Iwaizumi asking for your email, you realised.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
You groaned as you flopped back onto your bed for the second time that evening.
What was going on? How had you ended up in this situation? Which cosmic force had it in for you?
Everything was so confusing.
One thing was for certain, though.
Amaya’s going to kill you.
✧ ✧ ✧
a/n: hhhhhh thank you for your kind words about the last chapter! this one is also unbeta’d but Oh Well
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