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mummybearmusing · 2 years

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Feb 17

WHAT’S OCCURRED OVER THE LAST FIVE YEARS..SNEAKY SNEAKY

Here’s how this all began:

* Back in 2013 I had doubts about how our relationship was going, I discussed many things with my friends on whatsapp..I still have those messages..the ones saying I was scared he was going to leave and take our baby, and that I felt inadequate and a spare part because he had five months off work and spent every day with our boy at his mums while I worked six days instead of the three I originally was going to, because he had lost his job, and that my parenting was constantly undermined, even provided my friends with examples how because I was being told I was over-reacting.

And this is when he convinced me that the only thing that was wrong with our relationship was me, and there was no undermining of my parenting, I was just being over-sensitive because we were different people which meant we had different ideas of how we should parent, neither of which were wrong.

* I went on anti-depressants in 2014 following an incident where our neighbours flat had caught on fire and the smoke came under our door making me feel terrified for my family, especially for my baby,

I was referred to victims support,

I went all the way to the MP begging to move him or move us because I was terrified that it could happen again.

Prior to this I hadn’t been on ANY medication since 2011 when I got my job at a call centre, but sadly 3 and a half years later our office closed and we were all made redundant, which needless to say sent me downhill again, because I applied for 284 jobs and didn’t get one of them. I eventually got a part time job but meant a massive drop in wages

His mum is a fully qualified childminder, so when we we were both working full time she had him the weekdays, and my mum had him the weekends, looking back, again at the old whatsapp messages his mum was undermining me just as much as he was, for just as long.

They both now live with her, and she couldn’t be more thrilled about it and she’s made it known at school too because she was SO smug when she said see you later, AT HOME!!

The thing that he told me I was wrong about by the way, the truth that made me doubt any conversations.. I thought we were so happy we’d talked about having another baby, I told her this in utter shell shock..she told me he never wanted another and he hadn’t loved me for two years, and when i KNEW i was right..is when I found a letter he wrote by hand stating we’re thinking of trying for another baby, hopefully/happily give our child a little brother/sister soon.. and it also states in this letter I have no concerns about how my child is being looked after when I’m not there.. ie when he was working and our child was with me on my days off.. which contradicts all the concerns about my neglect of our child, which he also reported to our child’s nursery..his mum went in there first!

* So she comes round Jan a few years back and tells me her son isn’t coming home, he’s packed a bag and he’s going to go there, and they’re picking my son up from preschool and taking him there, told me about all these concerns they had over my mental health and told me about all these absent minded non issue mistakes id made, when accumulated made me seem like a total flake of a mother, made me feel i didn’t deserve to be one, i knew my mental health wasn’t brilliant but I’d been off all my med’s for a while (my own fault/choice- while i underwent some medical tests to rule out a variety of things following a stay in A and E and a day hooked up to an IV drip)

She told me our relationship (7 years and 2 days of it) was over, dead, done with, and he hadn’t loved me for two years he’d stayed out of fear of what would happen as I was so absent minded he was afraid every day for our son’s safety, she told me nobodies saying I’m a bad mum, I’m a really good one just need a little extra help, then fast forward six weeks later she’s telling me she hates me she’ll never forgive me and that social services were involved with her family and it was all my fault because I’m an incapable mother (because as I mentioned in the post above both her and my ex had been going in to my sons then preschool and giving their “concerns” it led to them calling social me being investigated for neglect..they closed no further action needless to say, they fully understood nothing I did was intentional, and I had simply made a few errors because I wasn’t well,

later that day our families (me ex and our mums and dads) made a temporary informal verbal agreement between us that until my med’s kicked back in and docs confirmed my mental health was stable again that our son would stay there, i could see him as much as i wanted, but with someone else around to ‘intervene if necessary’ and once I was “back on my feet” we would co-parent 50/50 no drama, no court, just us adults..just mum and dad

.. she didn’t intervene when necessary..she interfered at every opportunity, regularly calling me 'girl’ and 'stupid’ regularly saying 'can you do nothing right’

* It was also agreed until I had a psych eval done and the results back if i wanted to see/have my son away from her house then i could BUT another family member needed to be around, we were all fine with this to ensure he was fully safeguarded, so it was agreed my mum or my sister would stay on my sofa so he could be at home..

His mum had been pushing my ex to remove me from his life, there were computer printouts on the table i see from the separated dads website, applying for custody, the court procedure..he left my flat because his and his mums attempts to get on my tenancy behind my back in a previous year had failed.

Now as mentioned above, the verbal informal agreement was once i handed over medical proof of my improvement we were going to draw up a written agreement for 50/50 co-parenting and have shared residency, no courts needed, i offered that we’d go for mediation so they all had peace of mind, no no not necessary, we’re both adults, we’re mum and dad..we can do this on our own.

Re the investigation for neglect: this social worker saw me ONE time, and maybe five phone calls..I regularly asked him to confirm everything in writing. My requests were NEVER actioned prior to him leaving

We should have been sent a copy of his report as part of a court direction..we weren’t. So I did a Subject Access request to gain it..it was nearly blank due to third party redactions..things he/she/the preschool told them.

* I handed over my medical evidence to social services plus a diary I’d kept and various other things to show I had been suffering from DV.

And the emails I forwarded them with all of it were ignored,

I handed the psych eval over to him, and he was so angry with what it said..because it contradicted all that had been said, and because it inferred my mh had been exacerbated because of his abuse..he was so mad that he demanded the phone number, I said they couldn’t tell him anything, nor was anything discussed that wasn’t included in the assessment that was conducted by the Community Mental Health Recovery Service.

I begged him to stay and talk, like adults, and to sort this out because we were mum and dad, he stormed off telling me had calls to make

Following THIS reaction I had a chat with the Police and the social worker and they both agreed my ex had broken our agreement and as it was never official then i had every right to go knock on her door and ask for my son back..

which I did towards the end of Feb years back.. the door was slammed and locked in my face, with my little boy stood right next to her

(witnessed by my sister who was at the door with me, my cousin who had got out her car to have a cigarette and my stepmum who had followed my sister in her own car..but the court papers clearly stated that my son was on the sofa and even though he clearly would have heard me he made no attempt to move..this was my exes response..my ex wasn’t even there..and my ex never even wrote the responses, his sister did..who also wasn’t there.. he never signed the statement of truth either so how that wasn’t thrown out i have NO idea)

* I called the police and despite being led to believe earlier that day that if she refused to hand him over having no PR and me holding it that she would be in trouble and that they would make her or at least file a report they instead told me that because the door was shut there was no breach of the peace, that dad had given consent for her to look after him while he was working, and like it or not..so had I by agreeing to let him stay there to begin with, they told me they would NOT be coming out, I could cry all I wanted down the phone but their answer was not going to change, this was a civil matter and I would need to take it to court.

So I did.

#MummaBearMusings

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cmyknoise · 4 years

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#logan's stuff #vent #i probably wont get to do picture day this year #which means there's no point to getting a yearbook #which i wanted to get this year #i didnt get a class ring #i probably wont get a letter or varsity jacket #i dont get to go to prom #heck i probably wont get graduation either at the rate the US is going #i cant even vote for another 4 years since im too young this year #ive been begging to get a job for the last 3 years and no one has let me #i cant even open a bank account to get a pay pal for comissions #im so so so exhausted on all levels and i struggle to find any point to anything right now #i didn't really get a childhood #teenage years when did those happen i didnt really get those #no highschool experiences or fun #and my early adult years are going to be spent fixing fuck ups from every age prior #cant wait #/s

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baekhyunja · 3 years

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My dad isn't the best dad in the world. He's flawed and we fight a lot, and most of it is because of our financial situation. He's the sole earner of my family but things haven't been looking up for us the past few years. It is one of the reasons why things have gotten as bad as it is now- I should have known that he's hidden his illness for a while now because he doesn't want to add more debt into our family burden just because of a "small cough", especially with the pandemic.

It turns out, he has pneumonia and high glucose blood levels. The pneumonia made a hospital reject giving him first aid care this Monday (22/3) despite his COVID tests showing up negative because they were "incapable of handling a possible COVID patient" due to the fact that my dad's lungs x-rays had signs of infection on it. Keep in mind that he has a high fever and isn't even able to walk or go to the bathroom by himself. They didn't even provide a sufficient IV drip for my dad or a fitting oxygen mask. Monday night we brought him home in hopes of treating his sickness at home because we couldn't afford any other options. At 1am, he woke up from his sleep at home and puked. We brought him to an ER 30 mins away that told us on the phone that they would take a patient with possible pneumonia as long as their COVID-19 test come out negative. When we got there, they just stood there for 20 mins looking at my dad convulsing in the car before rejecting to give him care after I showed him his lung results. I begged them to at least give him first aid but they told me condescendingly that if my dad passed away, they wouldn't be liable. So I went home in tears.

Tuesday 6AM my dad went into septic shock. Money be damned, I called an ambulance from a private hospital that informed me they would take possible patients despite them having COVID or not. I thought that my dad could get the first aid help and then later be admitted to a normal room, but when the medics arrived the first thing they told me was: he has to be put into an ICU.

I have just recently resigned from my job due to high risk of COVID-19 exposure, and both my mom and my sibling are unemployed. We've asked for friends and family for help, but it's just not enough given that we don't have an insurance and an ICU room costs $1k/night. As we're living in a third world country, no medical action will be taken before we given if we don't pay first. We've used up all of our penny to the last drop to keep my dad plugged into the ICU machines and keep him alive to this daym

As of right now, he's fighting as hard as he can to keep his body alive. He's doing his best, and I know I should do my best too. I've ran out of options.

If you can help us, please donate at my gofundme or paypal. If you can't, a reblog would help immensely.

His whole life, my dad has always teased me that I don't love him as I never express it verbally. You know how us Asians get- I never said it to him because I assumed that he should just know.

Please help me tell my dad that I love him to his face.

#gofundme #ebegging #signal boost #go fund me #funds #emergency funds #healthcare #covid 19 #donations #donation #help #please help #financial help #boost

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chiliiscereal · 3 years

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I hate you

Daryl’s adopted daughter

Chapter 1

Summary: Diana is a girl on the run in the apocalypse. Her past chases her no matter where she goes. One day, by chance, she meets Daryl Dixon. Thinking she’s a walker, he shoots her and brings her back to their camp. Shane strikes a deal with her: she has to stay for two weeks before she can decide if she wants to stay. But Diana is determined to keep her past in the past, and never make the same mistake again

Season 1 - I’m not sure yet

—————

Diana sat in a circle with her family. Blood dripped down her neck from her lips.

Everything was red.

Red

How could everything have gone so wrong so quickly?

Her eyes never left the blond man she once knew. She watched him as her fury and fear grew louder and louder, echoing off her skull.

That was, until Negan stepped out of the van. He walked about the circle, until his eyes landed on her.

"Fancy seein' you again, Darlin'."

————————

Rick stumbled into the street, a hospital gown draping his skin. He knew there was something wrong. There was something off. Maybe it was intuition...

Or maybe it was the woman, chopped in half, chomping her teeth to get at his ankles.

He rubbed his eyes, the sun glaring right into his vision. It had been a week and a half since the start, and a day since his IV ran dry. It had been even longer since he last saw the sun.

Where was everyone?

Why hadn't he waken up to nurses and doctors?

Or his family's familiar faces?

He spotted bodies. Bodies walking. Maybe three.

He couldn't understand... he couldn't understand any of it...

The light off a gun reflected into his eyes. He blocked it and moved to see where it was coming from.

The revolver was placed in the holster on the side of a walker. The man... or whatever he was now... shuffled toward Rick.

He was deathly pale.

"Sir," Rick's voice cracked, "sir, are you okay?" He held his hand out, trying to make it a comforting gesture to someone possibly in need.

Edging closer, the man stared at him with hungry dead eyes. His clothes were torn and draped off his skinny frame, his eyes laid sunken in his face.

"Sir?" He asked again, stumbling back.

The man growled and advanced further.

"Are you-?"

With a blur, the man was down.

Nearly tripping over his own feet, Rick let out a horrified gasp.

On the ground was a little girl, around Carl's age, placing her knife in the mans forehead. Her light blond hair, tucked under her baseball cap, clung to her dirty face. The crunch echoed in Ricks head, reverberating off his skull.

That was the first walker he had ever seen killed.

She quickly wiped her knife on the walkers shirt and snatched his revolver. She opened the back to check how much ammo was left. Satisfied, she clicked it shut and began patting the double dead man down.

"W-why did you do that?" Rick found his voice again.

She leaped back, her bright blue eyes finding his.

Quickly, she pulled herself up and began to dash away. If Rick hadn't lunged out and caught the back of her shirt she would have disappeared as soon as she apparated into his line of sight.

"No. You can't leave yet." He spun her around to face him. It was evident how terrified she was. Especially with her eyes as wide as dinner plates and hands clawing at his arm. "Why did you kill that man?"

She glared at him and wriggled harder. "Man?" She gasped, "that... that wasn't a man!" Her hands fought to unclamp Ricks grip. "That's a Walker! He would have eaten you if I hadn't stopped him!" She grunted with effort. "Didn't even see you. You already look dead."

"What do you mean by dead?" Rick questioned, holding tighter.

"Gone. Deceased. vamosed. Perished." With each word she struggled. "Now let me go!"

Rick was about to question again, when he felt the stitches on his side rip. With a grunt, he let her go and fell to the ground. His hand cupped his side.

"Please.." he stopped to breathe heavily as the girl watched him warily. "I don't know what's happening. I woke up in the- in the hospital." He glanced down at his side to eye the bleeding. "The sun will be setting soon... and I need help."

The girl glanced at the lowering sun. Tapping her foot, she glowered at the ground. "How can I trust you." It wasn't a question. It was as if she was challenging him to be wrong.

Rick attempted to stand, only to find himself back in the ground. "I was a cop. My job was to protect the people. ALL people. And I like to think I did a good job of that."

She stuck the revolver in her holster (which was clearly stolen based on how big it was). "Prove it."

"I don't have my badge or my hat. That's at my house. But I'm officer Rick Grimes. I've been on the force for seven years. My partner was Shane Walsh. I was in my car when we got a call about a run away car. I was shot in action and hospitalized." His eyes seemed to beg her to help him.

Diana tried to fight the raging war in her head.

She knew better.

She knew to trust no one.

Her father and mother both betrayed her trust.

Why trust again?

But... she could tell when people were lying. All people have tells. Her fathers tell was him avoiding eye contact. He always looked at the ground. For her mother, she always played with her wedding ring.

But this Cop... sheriff... man... was not lying.

He looked her dead in the eye.

"Fine. Come with me." She hadn't known that she was gripping her new revolver until she released it. "I have a place in the sewers. I know... in most movies that's where walkers would be. But how would someone get down there in the first place? You'd have to move the lid." She walked over to Rick and slung his arm over her shoulder to help him stand in any way. "And most walkers," she grunted "are pretty stupid."

"Thank you...for helping me." Rick stated gratefully.

"I have some house rules, you know."

"Name them." He said confidently as they shuffled down the street.

"One: you're gone when you can walk."

"You don't want someone to watch your back?" Rick was surprised. Usually, kids jumped at the chance for safety. The ones he has worked with in cases of violence had immediately decided he was trustworthy.

"the worlds changed. You can't trust people." He noted the grim expression on her face. He wanted to ask why, but he figured it was better to stay silent.

"I'd argue about that, but I'll hear out your other rules." He wrapped his arm around his side again, fingering the broken stitches.

"Two: you do as I say or you die."

"Yes ma'am."

Rick couldn't help but like her spunk. She was serious, but it wasn't much of a threat coming from an eleven year old girl.

"3: ..." she started only to trail off.

"...3?"

She cleared her throat and resituated Ricks arm. "You repay my kindness if we ever cross paths again. I don't care how."

"Was already planning on it." He grinned. He could feel the conversation beginning to die, so he started it back up again. "What's your name, kid?"

She hesitated, eyes staying on the road. "Diana." She spoke softly. "My mother named me after the Roman goddess of the night."

Rick smiled. "Pretty name."

Diana's thoughts drifted to her mother. Her mother with her honey brown hair and warm chocolate eyes. She stopped her thoughts there. "Well... what about you, officer friendly? You got a name?"

Rick laughed. "My names Rick Grimes. I ain't named after the moon goddess, but I think it has a nice ring to it. Don't you?"

She forced down a smile. "Pretty name."

He chuckled. "Well, Diana, I am glad I ran into you."

~~~~~

They arrived at the sewer lid.

"Here we are. I've been camped out here since early yesterday morning." She slipped under Ricks arm and got down to lift the lid. With a couple tries, and an offer from Rick for assistance, she lifted the lid.

She stood up and dusted off her hands. "I'll go down first and scope out the area. Need to make sure it's still clear. Then I'll help you down."

She began her descent.

Rick watched the top of her light haired head fade into the darkness with each step. He briefly thought she would try and make a run for it. Escape through the sewers.

He immediately dismissed it. Why would she waste daylight by helping him? The sound of her footsteps hitting the water at the bottom and echoing as she walked down the tunnels set him on edge.

Especially when they began to fade.

He sat patiently for over ten minutes, watching the sunlight tick by. He looked down into the darkness, listening for any sound. There was nothing... not even a whisper.

Maybe she did leave.

"Alright, Sheriff, get down here! It's clear!" Her voice reverberated loudly from the tunnels so suddenly, that Rick stumbled back.

"I don't have all day! Unless you wanted to be walker chow, get down here!"

Rick chuckled as he began to shuffle his way down the tunnel.

"Any day now, Deputy Fossil!" She shouted.

"Hold your horses, kid." He slowly lowered himself into the dark. He looked down to see where his feet were going to land, spotting the flashlight that Diana held. Her light hazel eyes reflected impatience.

"Nice place." He said, clearly biting back his truth.

"Don't be fake." She said as she kicked at the water. "It smells like a pig ate dirty gym socks, farted, and died."

"I was trying to spare your feelings."

"Don't bother. I'm leaving this place as soon as you're ready."

Rick finally landed on the bottom of the sewer. "You got a place you're headed to?"

Diana shook her head. "No. Just a place I never want to see again."

Rick stopped moving to look at her. "Troubled home life?"

She thought about it and shrugged. "I guess you could call it troubled home life. It was home once. But this apocalypse changes people."

"I'm sorry kid."

"Don't be. That's just life."

Rick opened his mouth to say more, but Diana beat him to it.

"Alright, lets move." She motioned for him to follow.

The place she had holed up in was dryer than most spaces. There were a couple of dirty blankets placed on the ground and a first aid kit. Some batteries were sprinkled on top.

"You can sit there. I can stitch you back up." Diana pointed at the wall. Their part of the sewer was a dead end so they wouldn't be surprised.

"Thank you."

Diana hadn't stitched wounds before, but she did well enough.

Rick tried starting a conversation again but she told him she needed silence to focus.

~~~~

"Are you sure you want to travel by yourself?"

Diana nodded as she packed her things. "Very sure. You're nice and all, but you don't want to travel with me."

The Georgia sun had risen already and they both were preparing for departure in the street

"Do you have any family to find?" Rick questioned.

"I already know where they are. And they don't want me either." The girl looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"If we ever meet again, you better give me more details." Rick narrowed his eyes and pointed at her. "I deserve to know more about the little girl who saved me."

"Once a cop always a cop I guess." Diana said slyly. She looked back at him. "What about you? Any family?"

She eyed a walker down the street but decided it was too far away to pursue.

"I got a son and a wife. My son's your age actually. 11." Rick looked through the neighborhoods. "I don't know where they are, but I'll protect them. They need me."

Diana squinted in the direction he was looking at, seeing nothing. "You'll find them, chief." She patted his shoulder, having to reach up very high.

"It was nice to meet you, Diana." Rick said, a little sad that they were parting. Possibly that he would no longer have company. Maybe that he didn't have enough time to get to know her well. "I don't know if I'll see you again, but you helped me without anything to gain."

Diana scoffed. "I'm not a good kid."

"You're right."

Diana looked up, confused.

"You're one of the best."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Go. You have people to find."

"From the looks of thangs, so do you."

"I don't have people."

"You'll find them. Just a matter of where and when." He stuck his hand out for her to shake.

She placed a brown bag in his hand instead. "It's for the road. There's batteries, water, a flashlight, food, bandages, antibiotics, and one more thing..." she unbuckled her holster and handed it to him, along with the revolver. "You need these more than I do."

Rick tried to push it back to the little girl. "No I can't take this. You need it."

"No, you do. You're gonna help people, Rick. You're gonna help so many. You gotta find your people." She pushed it back to him. "I'm gonna be fine. I spotted a gun down the road that I'm gonna check out later."

Rick gave her a solemn look before accepting it. "If you can, head to Atlanta. The CDC is near there and there's bound to be survivors."

"I don't need survivors."she rolled her eyes.

"They may need you, kid. Ever think about that?"

She stayed silent for a moment. "Stay safe, sherif fun sponge." She shook his hand, even though he hadn't offered it yet. "I hope we meet again."

"We will." He smiled. "I don't know how or when, but we will. I have a debt to pay."

She wanted to return the smile but couldn't. "I hope you find them."

"You to."

With that, they went separate ways.

Next fifty chapters posted on noandisaidno on wattpad!

#for you #bookish #disney #digital art #small artist #tik tok #tik tok art #wattpad #fanfic #percy jackson #twd imagine #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #twd negan #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x daughter!reader

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writingsfromhome · 3 years

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Bad Timing IV

A/N: To all the soft hearted crybabies requesting it: here’s part 4 to dry your tears from part 3. Thanks for all the interaction with this series, you guys are the best! <3<3<3<3

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

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I take my coffee to the little patio in the backyard of my childhood home, breathing deeply. It was a couple weeks since the traumatic incident at the bank, the one where I nearly died and found a way to live again. The higher ups practically begged me to take paid leave, I had a feeling they just didn’t want me to take anything to court. I’d told them I would take the month, and knew I would hand in my resignation thereafter. I enjoyed my job as much as the next person but it was too much for me. It felt like closing a door on a chapter of my life that I wanted to move on from.

And now, I could truly relax, I wasn’t running away from anything for the first time in my life. After everything that happened in that small restroom at the back of the bank, Harry and I came to a peace. And I’d only moved on from there.

“You’re up early,” my dad comes into view, a cup of tea in hand. “Your flight doesn’t leave until tonight right?”

“Yeah, just thought I would appreciate the views before I go back to a city,” I move my feet off the chair so he could sit.

“You can come here anytime.”

“I know,” I wrap my hands around my mug. “Coming here it just...reminds me of mum. And it’s hard...”

“This is how I stay connected to her,” he pats the table between us. “She loved this place, her garden and those darn birds she fed all the time.”

“You feed them now,” I look to the birdfeeder filled lovingly to the brim with seeds.

“I do it because...” he says quietly. “It’s what she would want.”

I think about my mum, what she would want. It hurt when I thought about how she left me, married and happy in love. And then how much hurt I went through, always wishing she was there. In some way I know she knew--wherever she was. But I wish I could hear her, I wish I could have a love like she had.

“So, when do I get to meet this new boy of yours?” My dad asks.

“Dad, you know his name’s Alec.”

“I would if I met him, put a face to the name.”

I roll my eyes, my dad was a bit overprotective after everything that’s happened in my life. I think he felt guilty in a small way, him and Harry always got on--we teased them about their bromance. He was just as blindsided as me. But I’d told my dad everything that happened the first night I came over. He hadn’t judged, just listened, hugged me tightly, and left to make me a cup of tea. That was the most expressive my dad got.

After Alec took me back from from the hospital, I asked him to stay. And he had stayed since, making it official from casual to dating. It was scary but life was too short to hold back I had learned. I had to hold onto a good thing when I had one.

As for Harry, he hadn’t called me since that day he visited me. I’d left him a couple texts--when I was discharged home, and again to ask him how he was doing a week later. He’d sent a thumbs up and that was it. I thought we were okay, but he blew me off even when I tried to call him. It hurt a little, but I’d been so busy packing and getting on, that I let him be for now. I would wait until after visiting my sister to find out where his head was at.

H’s POV

It’s been nearly a month since I walked out of Y/N’s hospital room, and we’d just about tied all the lose ends from the case. The only thing about it all that lingered on my mind was Y/N. I missed her more than I had all these years apart, but I sat in the ache of wanting. It was time I catch up to the consequences of my past actions. I turned to writing, starting again after years of thinking I no longer had a passion for it. It felt freeing.

She’d texted me, called me too. I tried not to respond even though everything in me wanted to pick up the phone and ask her out to dinner, invite her over for a movie, ask her if she wanted to take my car and drive out somewhere like we used to after exams in uni. But I let her be, imagining that she was happy somewhere. With Alec, or whoever she wanted to be with.

The last thing I expect, is for her to be standing outside my station late Thursday night.

“Y/N?” I almost don’t recognise her. Gone was her stern bun and smart suit. Strands of her hair frame her face, like a piece of art on display. She has on a loose jumper and tights, a bum bag strapped across her chest that she roots through for something.

“Harry!” she drops her hands. “I’ve only been waiting here for...20 minutes, when your receptionist said your shift ended?”

“I had to finish up some paperwork. Why didn’t you call me?.”

“It’s not like you would’ve answered.” her hands on her hips, attitude dripping from every inch of her. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You look different,” I dodge the topic.

“I know,” she zips up her bag. “I had the month off, officially resigned today. I have absolutely nowhere to be. So I’m looking the part.”

“It looks good,” I say truthfully. She looked relaxed, like the Y/N I used to know. “You quit your job?”

“I had enough of that bank,” she shrugs. “I went to see my dad for a bit, and visited my sister. She’s doing well.”

“Ah,” I was glad she’d taken a break. She was glowing. “Seriously Y/N, you look really good.”

“You,” she points her finger at me. “Are not allowed to say things like that after ghosting me. I thought we...came to an understanding. You left me again.”

I open my mouth to say something, but her words hit me. She was right, I’d left her again. Fuck.

“Yeah,” she crosses her arms when I go speechless. “You admitted to your mistakes, apologized, and then left me. How do you think that’s made me feel?”

“I thought it was best if I left you alone,” I walk out of the way from the entrance and she follows me to my car, parked in the lot. “I just wanted to give you space--a chance at being happy.”

She scoffs, leaning against the driver’s side door. “Thought it was best for who, Harry? Who are you to define my happiness? It would’ve been nice just to hear you were doing okay!”

“I’m sorry!” I stumble for another excuse but I come up with none. “The truth is, seeing you with Alec that day I...it was hard for me. I couldn’t be around you like that.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I...” I look at her, looking at me expectantly. She was a woman with an agenda, she had come here looking for answers and wasn’t going to leave until I gave them to her. “I want you to be happy, all that shite. You can’t do that with me around. And it’s hard for me seeing you with someone else...I can’t stand to be in your life like that. Where I’m just...your ex.”

“So you’re saying, it took me nearly dying for you to realize?” Her eyebrow quirks up.

“In a way,” I huff. “It just, took me being around you to remember what I left, when we ended things. It also made me realize the mess I left behind-”

“Don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself,” she calls me out like nobody else could. It makes me laugh nervously and she takes it the wrong way. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious! I’ve felt sorry enough for the both of us for years. And maybe Y/N from a month ago would’ve wanted you to suffer a little bit, but not anymore. This last month...I’ve just felt so free and happy Harry. I get what you mean now, I get it. And I’m alright.”

“That’s great, I’m happy for you Y/N.”

“Yeah, I mean I get it, but you did go about it in the worst possible way-”

“I know.”

“I’m not done,” she pushes my shoulder. “Anyway, just because you did some shitty stuff, you don’t deserve to suffer okay? Move on. Onward. Not backwards.”

I’m taken aback again when she pushes herself off my car and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I slowly envelop her into me, savoring the feel of holding her even if it’s just for a moment.

“You deserve happiness,” she says in my ear. “If that means ghosting me, I won’t fight it. You just...have to let me know.”

“That’s not called ghosting,” I say as she separates herself from me. I want to pull her back but I stuff my hands in my pockets.

“Potato potato,” she waves her hand. “I should go. Just...take care of yourself Harry.”

Y POV (1 year later):

“That’s wonderful news,” I smile at my client who gathers their materials back into their portfolio. “I’ll have my assistant forward the contract over tonight. I look forward to working with your team.”

I shake hands and watch them leave the room before collapsing into my chair. I knew starting your own business was hard, but this last year was a bumpy road. I’d started my own consultation business, and only had two clients. This was my first big-deal contract I’d signed; I was promised two whole years with this team!

I reach for my phone to tell Alec, but I remember we weren’t talking. Well, I wasn’t speaking to him--he’d told me last night before my big meeting that he’d been offered a promotion at work. But the catch was it was in the Edinburgh offices “which works out perfectly for us! Your sister lives there, we can visit them often...what do you think?”

I’d been so angry then. Firstly, he’d sprung the news on me the night before a big day, and second he’d already made the decision for us. I was so angry I’d just gone quiet, and told him I had a big meeting the next morning.

My fingers itch though, to tell someone. My fingers hover over Harry’s name.

Every since I confronted him last year at work, he disappeared again but not completely. He texted me a few times, once on my birthday, another during a heat wave in the city asking me if I wanted to grab drinks. I wasn’t available and he hadn’t really texted me since. I knew he was a phone call away, and he knew the same of me. Yet neither of us ever picked up the phone to call each other. I wasn’t sure why, but we were still giving each other space.

Well fuck it, I think. I call him and he picks up on the fourth ring.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Uh no--hold up, wait. Not you...Sorry Y/N give me a second.”

I bite my lip, he could be at work, I should’ve texted him.

“Hey,” Harry’s tone is different now, softer and the background noises quiet to almost nothing. “Sorry it was so loud in there, we’re celebrating a birthday--Serena, the receptionist you remember?”

“Oh yeah,” I have a vague picture of her in my head. “Don’t let me keep you from the festivities-”

“Why did you call? S’no big deal, I’m not a big cake person anyway.”

“Ooh, cake? Eat a slice for me, I don’t get enough sweets living with a health nut...” I trail off realizing who I was talking to.

“I’ll save you one if you swing by?” Harry suggests after a beat of awkward silence. Another second passes as I consider what he’s asking: he wanted to see me.

“Uh, okay! You don’t have to ask me twice,” I grin, a strange bubble of excitement making it’s way through me. “My office is actually not too far from your station. I’ll walk it.”

“Your office? Where are you these days?” Harry asks as I slip my bag over my body and head out the door. I was exactly an 8 minute walk from his station--I’d mapped it when I found the place cheap online.

“I’m renting a whole office! It’s all very professional--I mean it’s like, one and a half rooms..oh and I have to share the toilets with the whole floor-”

“That’s good, so there’s no way you’ll be caught dead in there if you’re sharing it with the floor,” I hear the laugh in his voice.

“That’s a very insensitive thing to say,” I scold him.

“It’s been a year, c’mon Y/N.”

“We almost died!”

“We weren’t going to die. You’re alive right now!”

“Thanks to a really bad detective and a toilet seat,” I say and relish at the sound of Harry’s laugh on the other end of the line.

“That’s not how you thank someone who saved your life,” Harry finally says when he’s done laughing.

“You didn’t save my life, I was never going to die in the first place remember?”

“Touche,” he laughs. “Get over here faster, I want to see your face.”

“I’m trying!” I speed up. The background noise grows louder on his side again and he apologises. “S’alright. Anyway I just called cuz I had good news and nobody to share it with immediately.”

“Tell me.”

“Long story short, I started my own consulting firm! Finance advice--stuff like that, and I signed my first long-term contract! With an actual client not just for like, a project! I’m-” I squeal, I couldn’t help it. “It’s such a big deal for me I’ve been struggling just breaking ever since I started up.”

“Y/N I’m getting you the whole bloody cake for that,” Harry says. I finally turn the corner to his station, nearly jogging at this point.

“Only if Serena doesn’t mind.” I joke.

“In that dress, who would mind,” he says. I pause on the street, he could see me. I squint but he’s nowhere in sight. And then there, he steps out from the steps and waves. I don’t bother taming the smile on my face and neither does he.

“I see you Detective,” I shout.

“I saw you first!” He shouts.

In an instant we’re rushing towards each other, bodies crashing as I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze hard. It felt like a reunion.

“How did we go this long without seeing each other,” I say when we pull apart. “I’ve actually missed you.” With the closure between us and no baggage weighing our memories down, I’d actually begun to feel nostalgic about Harry every time I thought about us--usually the friendship, not quite the marriage.

“I don’t know,” Harry pulls me close to him again. “I think we gave each other too much space this time around. We’ve got to find a better middleground.”

“I think we’re standing on it.” I joke.

“Hey, Styles!” A voice calls from the entrance. “Stop snogging your girl and come back in here. Serena’s wondering why you’re running away from her big day.”

“I’m not snogging anybody,” Harry calls back. “And I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Bring her with ya, we’ve got plenty of cake!”

Harry looks down at me and I raise an eyebrow. “You think they’ll let me have more than a slice?”

“I’m their commanding officer, I can tell them to let you have as many as you want.”

“Lead the way,” I grin, half excited to see Harry and half excited for the baked goods. Harry grabs my hand and leads me in. Unfortunately, enough people recognize me from the bank heist that Harry has to explain we’ve known each other for a while. Fortunately, enough people remember me to ply me with sweets to make up for Harry screwing up my case. I have zero complaints and celebrate the day with free cake.

H’s POV

My phone vibrates with Y/N’s text, she was here for lunch. Ever since she called me a couple weeks ago and we decided we couldn’t live without staying in contact, we tried to pop over for lunch whenever we could. It felt like old times. Being Y/N’s friend again was what I was missing out on. I was finally living the version of my life that felt right. I had a bounce in my step, I felt happy when I woke up. Even my officers teased me, trying to allude that I was getting some until I threatened them with paperwork. But I was brighter at work too.

I text Y/N that I would be a few minutes more, and when I finally go into the lobby to meet her she’s having a conversation with Serena.

“Man of the hour,” Serena says as I walk up. “Your girl’s here.”

“I can see that, thank you.” Serena insisted on calling Y/N that despite telling her multiple times we weren’t together.

“Serena was just telling me all the wild things she got up to for her sixty-fifth,” Y/N winks at Serena. I didn’t want to be part of that conversation so I drag her by the arm out of the station.

We walk in silence towards a small sandwich shop around the corner from us. I grab her swinging hand to catch her attention, and she gives me a small smile before turning away. But she keeps her hand in mine.

She’s unusually quiet, and I wait until after we’ve ordered to broach the subject. Before I could, she blurts out: “Alec's got to give his final answer today.” I nearly choke on my sandwich. She’s told me her predicament last week when I noticed she looked upset and wouldn’t let her be until she told me. I was gutted, but it didn’t seem like she wanted to go.

“I...that means, hm.” I gather my thoughts--and all my emotions too. “Have you decided if you’re...moving with him?”

“I dunno, this is an amazing job offer. I could be closer to my sister too but...I just don’t know. My life’s in London, my new practice too. How can I leave it all?”

“That’s tricky,” I say even though deep inside I was relieved it sounded like she wasn’t going. “Couldn’t you just move your practice there? Travel to London when you had meetings? You could always stay with me if you needed.”

She huffs, there was more she wanted to say but she keeps it in. I push her to open up. “It’s just, he sprang this on me a couple weeks ago and he just expected me to follow him. I love him, I do. But that’s asking a lot! It’s only been a year or so, and it’s nice to know he’s serious enough about me to want me to go with him. I just...”

“And we only just reconnected again,” I try to sound lighthearted but when she looks at me I can tell she knows I feel more than I’m letting on.

“Can you imagine?” She raises her eyebrow. “If I told him I’m staying because I just reconnected again with my ex...”

“Ex-husband makes us sound older than we are.”

“We are old,” she puts her sandwich down and sighs. “You wear orthopedic shoes Harry.”

“I won’t take offense to that,” I look down at my shoes. They were comfortable on the job. “So...I’m not factored into your decision at all? Whether you want to stay or not?”

I see the emotion in her eyes; she was conflicted. “I dunno,” she finally says.

“Don’t let me hold you back,” I say even though I wanted to beg her to stay. “You love him right? Maybe you should...”

She stares ahead, her face falling. I knew Y/N’s face before a cry, so I reach my hand out and clasp hers over the table. She squeezes my hand once before removing it, I felt like I did something wrong.

“Anyway,” her face brightens up again, though the look in her eyes stays. “I watched that new movie you recommended and it was awful...”

She changes the subject swiftly, and I don’t object. I didn’t know how to tell her to stay without being selfish, and I didn’t know how to tell her it was okay to go and act like I was telling her the truth.

But near the end of my shift, the evening receptionist buzzes me she was letting my girlfriend through. I don’t bother correcting her.

“Hey Y/N!” one of my officers calls out to her when she walks into the floor. “We’re all planning on throwing you a party.”

“For what?” She stops by his desk. I notice Detective Cole eyeing her, before joining in.

“He actually has a life now, he’s usually a lot more bossy with us.”

Y/N turns to me, eyebrow raised. “I’m afraid the party’s a little premature. But I’d never say no to cake.”

My heart sinks, she was going. I watch her walk towards me and she notices my expression, the smile is gone from her face by the time she reaches me.

“I told Alec I would try it out, 6 months. See how it goes...I can see my sister more often, help her out with my niece...” It sounds like she’s coming up with excuses to justify herself to me.

“That’s...” my words get stuck in my throat, the lie was too big to get out. “Your sister will love that.” I settle with. I take her hand and walk her out to a more private hallway. “When do you leave.”

“Two weeks,” she bites her lip. “I-I’m gonna miss you Harry. We just got into a flow and-”

“We’ll still talk.” I pull her in, I couldn’t bear to watch her face fall apart in front of me. And I didn’t want her to see my own face crumbling. I tuck her under my chin, “We’ve got phones, and you’ll be in London sometimes for work right? We won’t be like before, we’ll still talk.”

I know she can feel my heart racing, and I want her to know what she was doing to me because my mouth can’t seem to tell her. I hold her for a little longer, and when she goes, I know my unit won’t be throwing any parties for her in a while.

Three Months Later:

I’m in bum mode by 8pm that Friday. I’d had a long week, a tough case with no breaks and finally had an evening off so I changed into sweats the second I got home, taken a hot shower and washed the week off.

The knock on the door surprises me. The peephole doesn’t distinguish who’s outside, a hood covering their face. I decide to open the door, to find a teary Y/N hundreds of miles from home.

“Y/N-”

“I wanted you to tell me to stay.” she says to me immediately. Her tears continue dripping onto her cheeks. I stare in confusion, wondering for a moment if my lack of sleep had caused me to hallucinate her.

“Wha-”

“When I told you about the move...you told me I should go. I wanted you to tell me to stay Harry! I thought you would’ve told me to stay.”

I move aside silently, so we weren’t having a conversation where my neighbours could hear.

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know!” she throws her bag, coat, and phone down on the floor in a heap. “You just were! I thought when I told you, you would say-”

“I didn’t want to tell you what to do with your life based on what I wanted! I thought I already established that!” Suddenly we’re arguing.

“You never had an issue before!”

“Well look where it lead us,” I move away from the door and back to where I was previously relaxing on the couch.

“A country apart!” She’s hot on my heels. “Didn’t you want me to stay?”

Some part of me is still completely confused what was going on, but Y/N’s fiery frustration overflows into my cup and an invisible force pours it down my throat.

“Yes. Yeah! Of course I wanted you to stay!”

“So why didn’t you say that?” She cries.

“I was trying not to be selfish!”

“Well you just pick the worst times to be selfish!”

“I never said I was good with my timing.” I mumble.

“Don’t treat me like-like some fragile porcelain Harry!” Y/N gets right into my face. “I’m not! I’m different, I’ve grown from that fragile place. I don’t need you walking on eggshells around me, I just want you to be honest!”

“When am I not honest?” I shout back.

“You haven’t been honest with me for months! Just say what you feel Harry, stop bloody holding back all the time! I just want the real you!”

“Fine!” I explode. “I love you Y/N! I love you so much it physically hurts me to be near you and not be able to hold you. I want to be able to kiss you like I used to, I want to go back in time and warn myself to get it right! I want to tell you how amazing you are and how sorry I am every day. I can’t! We’ve both got our own lives! I’m not being dishonest I just don’t want to fuck with your life again! I’ve accepted that I’m nothing more than an ex and your best friend!”

That stops her in her tracks. Her chest heaves as she swipes at her cheeks, and then she pushes her hands into my chest. I stumble but catch myself. She pushes me again, big tears rolling down her cheeks, and I stumble onto the couch. She turns and paces to the door and back.

“What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Edinburgh?” I finally ask the question I should’ve asked the second I saw her.

“Sure,” she throws herself onto the seat next to me and buries her face in her hands. “I...I didn’t want to be there. I just had to leave, and I couldn’t stand my sister going on about what a catch Alec was. How I should feel lucky. I had to get away. I never should’ve left London...I just thought maybe Alec was my chance at a fresh happy future, and you told me to go so I thought you didn’t want me to stay. But I fucked up there too, and I just had to go. And I came here with nowhere else--I can’t even live in my own home for three more months...”

She trails off. It was a lot of information to process. I don’t know how long we stay on the couch like that, a foot apart in silence.

“Everyone I know will probably think I’m just an idiot for coming here of all places, but this was the only place that made sense because I--Harry I think I...” She glances at me. “I...”

“I know,” I say after she struggles to say what she wanted to say. But I knew.

“But I feel so guilty, I’m doing to him what you did to me...it’s not fair.”

I didn’t think about it like that, I realise. But this situation was more complicated than that, I tell her. We had history, she’d moved to a whole new country for him, he must know somewhere Y/N didn’t actually want to move. But the parallels between her situation and ours are clear as day. I don’t know what to say.

“Stay the night,” I put a hand on her thigh. She doesn’t move it off. “Get some sleep, when you wake up tomorrow, make your decision. You know how I feel...and you know how you feel.”

“You’re right,” she lays her hand on top of mine. I thread my fingers through hers and hold on. Her puppy eyes tear me apart, I want to gather her in my arms and kiss her misery away. But I don’t want to add to her guilt.

“Let me get you something to eat, you’re probably hungry.” holding her hand was getting painful. I leave her alone in the living room, so she could collect herself. If someone told Harry three years ago this was where I would end up, he would’ve laughed in their face.

Y POV:

I couldn’t believe I did that, I think as I sit on the 5 hour ride back to Edinburgh. I felt untethered yesterday, after arguing with Alec all week because I was just miserable when I wasn’t in London. My sister’s pressure to be happy with what I had, I felt like I had no one to turn to who would understand me. And that had driven me into Harry’s arms, the train ride there fueling my frustration and anger. It had accidentally exploded in Harry’s direction when I got to his place but I was glad for it. He’d told me how he felt. And it was complicated as hell for me but somewhere deep inside, I knew where this was leading.

When I get back home to a worried Alec, we sit down and have a hard conversation. It breaks my heart leaving him, but after one last night together I pack most of my things and head to my sisters. The irony isn’t lost of me, hers was exactly where I went to when Harry and I split.

My sister tries to be supportive but I by the time the three months are over, I feel suffocated with her overprotective nature, and the full house she lived in.

“You’re just going to do what you want to do aren’t you?” She asks the day she drops me back off to the station. I’d spent the rest of the three months at hers--I couldn’t go back home to my house anyway and something about going back to London for another man felt wrong. I’d seen Alec a few times in those months. The last time was last night, we’d shared a few drinks and maybe some kisses. But it was a final goodbye last night, heavy but final.

“I don’t want to be a bad person,” I say. “I just don’t want to feel stuck somewhere because I feel bad.”

“You’re not a bad person,” my sister brushes my hair behind my shoulder as she hugs me tight. “I love you. Mum would be so proud of you for following your heart, you always did play it too safe.”

“I guess my rebellious phase just came a little late.”

“Ever since you met that Harry guy, you quit your stable job and haven’t been the same since,” she wags her finger at me like a stern maternal figure. She breaks character when she laughs and hugs me again. “M’gonna miss having you here. The kids loved having their aunt around.”

“I’m sure they’re happier having their play room back.” I joke to cover up how sad I felt leaving them too. Even though most days felt like we were walking all over each other, it felt like growing up in our small childhood home again; a nice reset before I headed back to London.

The train ride goes by quickly, and I settle back into my home over the weekend, getting my furniture out of storage and cleaning up after the last tenants. I’d been gone only 6 months but the second I walked through the door, I knew I was home again.

Letting Harry know I was back makes me nervous so I put it off for the week. I show up at his flat the following Saturday, wringing my hands as I wait for him to answer. I didn’t even know if he was home.

“Y/N,” a shocked voice says as I turn to walk away. Harry studies me as I stand awkwardly in his hall. “You’re back.”

I hear what he doesn’t say: you never called me after you showed up three months ago. and what happened to you?

“Hey,” I brush past him into his flat, fiddling with my jacket as he locks the door. “I’m back in London.”

“I can see that.” He eyes me. “Alone?” He asks, and again I hear the words he doesn’t say.

“Alone,” I smile. “I just needed...time to figure things out. I’ve been staying with my sister.”

“Full house?” He says, knowing it before I had to say it.

“So full,” I laugh, and just like that everything is okay. He takes my jacket from me and hangs it in his closet, like he knew I was going to stay a while. “There were too many mornings when I woke up to my niece just staring at me, waiting for me to wake.”

“Aw, they must miss you now.”

“Yeah,” I follow him through to his living room. I remember the last time I was here, sort of embarrassing looking back. “I was missing London though. And...you.”

He looks up. “Are you-”

“Harry,” I swallow what I need to say. His gaze is laser-sharp and it’s slightly intimidating to admit something like this. I’d given my heart to him before, and here I was giving it again after I’d spent years healing from what he did to it. It felt right, but also foolish. I guess love would always feel a little foolish.

“Y/N,” he says after I don’t say anything.

“So,” I walk up to where he stands near the window, the afternoon sun illuminates his handsome face. I reach up to touch it, no longer able to keep my hands to myself when he was so close. My breath catches as he closes his eyes against my palm, his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks.

“Y/N,” he keeps his eyes closed, like I would disappear if he opened them.

“I’m finally home,” I tell him, feeling the familiar lump in my throat as my eyes tear up. He opens his eyes then, they’re also pooling with unshed tears. It makes me laugh; he arches a brow. “We’re both here, in each other’s arms finally and...we’re crying.”

“We’re not a very typical pair, are we?”

“Nothing typical about us.” I say and he chuckles, kissing my wrist. My heart stutters in my chest.

“You’re either crazy or just incredibly forgiving, giving me a second chance at this.” Harry says outright.

“It’s us I’m giving a second chance to,” I slide my hands up, locking them around his neck.

“D’you think we’ll get the timing right this time?” He whispers as he lowers his face.

“We better,” I keep my eyes on his mouth, the one I’ve thought about kissing for the last three months. And then, finally, his lips are on mine and I nearly cry out of relief having him in my arms. Harry, being my Harry again.

His hands clench the fabric around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, his lips leave mine and he kisses my cheek, my jaw, my temple, before he crushes me to him.

“Harry I-” I couldn’t breathe, but my strained voice gives that away and he lets me go. I’m surprised to see the tears now trailing down his face. “You’re crying,” I swipe at the fallen tears.

“I’m just so happy,” he takes my hands off his cheeks and clasps them against his chest. “Y/N I’ve only dreamed of this, I didn’t think the universe cared enough about me to let me have this reality.”

“You and your poetry,” I smile.

“I guess you’re my muse,” He pulls me back to him, this time in a sweeter kiss that lingers. Tears pool in my own eyes as my heart tries to process the enormity of emotions I was feeling. “C’mere, I just want to hold you.”

He leads me to the couch and I lay down next to him. We take in each other, face to face, the grins reflected on both of us is impossible to wipe off.

“I love you Y/N, to the sun and back.”

“Isn’t it the moon and back?” I ask.

“Sun’s further out,” he smiles like he was expecting the question. I laugh, he kisses the tip of my nose and pulls my leg over his, his arm snaking around my waist so I’m snug against him.

“What am I gonna do with you Styles,” I brush one of his curls back.

“You’ve got forever to figure that out,” he says simply. My heart races at the thought. We’d bungled the first round we spent together, but after all these years apart I had a feeling that we really would have forever this time around.

With all the emotions fluttering inside of me, all the baggage unpacked and out of sight, and Harry’s loving expression looking back at me; I believed in us.

1.5 Years Later (H’s POV):

The house is quiet when I get in--it was half past 11 and I knew Y/N was probably asleep. I texted her a couple hours ago I would be home soon but time had slipped away as I worked. I hoped she wasn’t upset.

I move stealthily through the hall, eventually making my way to our bedroom where she lays sleeping. She’d left the lamp on beside her, and I move around to her side so I can close it. I notice the open book beside her--she fell asleep while reading it again. I set it down on the drawers and tuck her hand into the covers, the subtle diamonds on her finger glows yellow under the soft lamp light. Just looking at the engagement ring sparks a rush of love for the woman before me.

Y/N had surprised me a couple months ago when she proposed to me. We’d were dating again for almost a year and a half--this time it really felt like we’d gotten the timing right on our relationship. We were happier and more in love than we’d ever been. During a candlelit dinner one night, she had pulled a chair up beside me and presented me with the ring and an ultimatum.

Apparently she’d noticed that I was always on edge--like I was waiting for her to realize that she didn’t actually forgive me for all the awful things I put her through. And she was right, but it wasn’t until she said it out loud that I realized it was an anxiety I had. I was waiting for her to realize she could do better than me--leave me the way I left her. But she proposed to show me she wasn’t going anywhere, and she showed me her own ring her father gave her--her mum’s ring.

I was blown away by her observant love, again, how she knew me better than I knew myself. I reassured her I wasn’t going anywhere either, not now or ever. And we decided we didn’t want to set any dates, we were taking it slow. Being engaged was a promise and that was all for now. I wanted to live up to Y/N’s standard, give her and her family a reason to trust me again--not only would they kill me if I ever did anything to her, but I’m pretty sure my own family would kill me too. They were over the moon when they found out we were giving it another go.

“Harry?” Y/N mumbles as I slip under the covers a little while later.

“Sorry for coming home so late,” I whisper. “I got a bit carried away with the case.”

“What’s new,” she shifts to face me, the moonlight from the windows barely illuminating her face. “M’just glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” I pull her towards me. Home, it was this house we’d moved into last year. But mostly, it was this beautiful woman in my arms who opened her heart to me despite everything. I don’t know how I got so lucky. I tell her that.

“S’not luck,” she mumbles. “The universe--our stars are finally aligned.”

“My star was pretty dim, I’m surprised yours found it.” I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her temple. “You found it by luck.”

“No. Your star’s always burned the brightest in my universe,” she tucks her face into my neck. “Even when I didn’t want it to be, it was still noticeable.”

“You outshine me in every way in mine,” I lean away so I can hold her face close, resting my forehead on hers. “I love you so much.”

She smiles in the dark, and leaves a kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I love you, and I’d love you more if you came home on time.”

I chuckle, “I’ll try. Tomorrow.”

“Mhm,” she says sleepily. I’d let her sleep, I think as I pull her leg over mine and hold her against my chest. Even though I hated coming home by the time she was asleep, finding her in our little safe space, and being able to hold her close as we fell asleep was my favourite part of the day.

***

The day is nearly over but the paperwork on my desk says otherwise. I sigh and slump in my chair, this was the worst part of my job.

I begin filling it out, and I’m not even halfway through when the phone rings. Serena’s on the other line, “Styles, your patient fiancee is here for you. I don’t think she’s staying patient for long though.”

I tell her I’d be out, smiling as I put down the phone. Y/N was making sure I kept my word from last night, and I would. For her, I would get in extra early tomorrow just to be sure I had the evening with her tonight.

“So when do I get the invitation to the wedding?” I hear Serena say as I walk out to the lobby. She’s putting on her coat to leave and Y/N’s bundled up herself. “And then when do I get to see the mini Styles’? I better be around to see them!”

Not many would, but I notice the slight tension in Y/N’s shoulders at the sensitive topic. I step in.

“You’re worse than my mum,” I tell her. “And she’s actually going to be the grandmother.”

“We just want to see our babies’ babies before we bite the bullet!” Serena shrugs, walking out from behind the counter. “I’ll see you tomorrow Harry, Y/N it was lovely seeing you as always.”

We wave her off, and then I wrap my arm around Y/N and we walk out to my car.

“That’s the first question everyone continues to ask me,” Y/N says as we walk. “When the date is.”

“Does that bother you?” I check in.

“A little, but only because it leads to even more questions when I say we haven’t set a date.”

We get into the car, and I ask her the other question I wanted to know: “And the baby thing? Does that...bother you?”

She turns her body to look at me, tilting her head as she tries to read me. “It doesn’t...does it bother you?”

“No,” I say honestly. “I’m happy where we are. All that stuff can...come after. I’m just-I’m happy with you.”

“Good talk then,” she grins. I can’t help but lean over for a kiss then.

“Well I don’t mind the baby making part,” I tell her. “But I think the actual babies can wait.”

She pushes me away as her cheeks flush like we hadn’t been dating and married and dating again for over ten years. “Sometimes I think you’ve just got one thing on your mind.”

“Yeah,” I say as I start the car. “That’s you.”

“Is that what distracted you so bad when you were working on my case? Because you were totally distracted and we almost died-”

“We were never going to die!” I say over her--this was a common topic of conversation between us.

“I was going to bleed out and die!” She tries to speak over me.

“Oh now you were going to bleed out? You were never dying!” I shout even louder. And we keep going for most of the way home until Y/N catches sight of a dog at a crosswalk and begins to coo at it through the window.

“Maybe we should get a dog,” she starts on another of our reoccurring topics. I sigh, ready to launch into why we should wait. And that’s how the rest of the ride home goes. Not that I minded, I could discuss the same topics with her over and over for eternity.

“You’re just threatened by a dog,” Y/N continues as we park and head up to our front door. “Because then my love would be split between both of you.”

“Yeah sure, that’s it.” I roll my eyes at her silly reasoning. But I still grab her hand in mine and kiss it as we walk in. My stomach flutters when she gazes at me as the door closes behind her.

“I’m going to wear you down soon,” she says as she takes my coat from me. I take them both out of her hands and leave them in a heap on the staircase, kissing her so she stops talking. She smiles against my lips, knowing that she was wearing me down, and I’d give her anything she asked for. Anything to make her happy. I loved her infinitely.

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homerjacksons · 3 years

Text

Sonny Carisi Week Day 3: trust Word Count: 2388 Pairing: Barisi Summary: Snippets of Sonny and Rafael’s relationship over the years in moments of trust AO3

i. the beginning

Sonny’s brain was hazy with scotch and the smell of Rafael’s cologne. He knew it wasn’t the drink, though. He’d only had one finger, poured by Rafael from a bottle he kept in his bottom drawer for nights like this, nights spent hunched over paperwork as the clock ticked over to a new day.

He took a deep breath, breathing Rafael in, and watched as his lips quirked up into a smirk.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Rafael asked, only a slight hint of annoyance in his tone.

“Course,” Sonny said with a huff of laughter, shaking his head and lowering his gaze.

When he looked up again, Rafael’s eyes were still on him, shining in the dim lamplight, his face closer than Sonny remembered.

“I’m trying to...to tell you what this means to me,” he said, covering Sonny’s hand where it sat on his knee. “I’m telling you you’re not the only one. It’s not one-sided.”

Sonny blinked at him, because it turned out he must have stopped listening, lost in the greens of his eyes and the woody musk of his cologne, tired from a long night of paperwork and an even longer day of police work.

“You—me? Really?”

“You, yes,” Rafael said with a grin, cocky even though Sonny knew his heart must be racing.

“But—I—why?”

Rafael’s grin slipped and he tilted his head, giving Sonny’s hand a squeeze. “Because you’re you.”

“I’m—“

“Just trust me?”

Sonny studied him for a moment, not sure exactly what he was looking for. This wasn’t high school where the girls pretended to like him on a dare, or college where the boys kissed him as a joke. This was work, this was Rafael, telling him he felt the same.

He nodded, meeting Rafael halfway for a kiss, his entire being shaking as his heart burst with warmth and nerves and excitement and affection.

Because of course he trusted Rafael, even if it seemed too good to be true, even if Rafael loved teasing him above all else.

This was real. This was happening.

ii. fear

Sonny longed to reach out to Rafael, to hold him, to never let him go. He could see the fear that Rafael tried so hard to hide and he felt so grateful that he was trusted enough to see it, even if it broke his heart.

They got a cab back to his apartment after all necessary questions had been answered, and though they didn’t utter a word, Sonny held his hand the entire time, and Rafael held back with a fierceness Sonny had never felt.

As soon as his apartment door closed, Rafael let out a shaky breath as though he’d been holding it the whole time, and Sonny caught him under the arms as his knees buckled, entire body suddenly shaking.

“Hey,” Sonny whispered, pulling him in close. “You’re safe. It’s over.”

Rafael nodded, gripping Sonny as though his life depended on it.

He let Sonny lead him to the bathroom, and Sonny took his time removing Rafael's blood-splattered clothes while he sat, staring at a spot on the wall, unseeing.

He didn’t have the words, not really. He wanted to rant about how stupid Rafael had been to duck his security detail, about the ongoing death threats that had been a sore spot between them for months. He wanted to express the guilt he felt at not being there to protect his own boyfriend, at not being a better cop, at not finding who was behind the threats before it was too late.

Mostly, he wanted to cry, all that fear and hurt and anger and helplessness having been locked up inside him just below the surface, threatening to burst from the moment he heard 1 Hogan Place had been evacuated and Rafael was being held in his office by a man with a gun.

But he knew none of that would help. He knew, even before they’d got home, even before the events of the day, just how much all of this had been getting to Rafael. He knew because Rafael trusted him enough to let him see between the cracks in his facade.

So instead, he talked about something Jesse had done the previous day, about Bella’s new job, about his Ma’s insistence that they come to dinner that weekend. Anything to fill the awful, deafening silence as he cleaned another man’s blood off of Rafael’s skin.

iii. content

Sonny shot Rafael a grin over the kitchen island before turning back to the pan in front of him to flip the pancakes.

“What?” Rafael asked through a laugh, folding the newspaper beside him as he reached for his mug.

“Nothing, just…” Sonny trailed off with a shrug, unable to wipe the grin from his face. “Nothing.”

The truth was, he couldn't quite believe his luck. He'd imagine it a thousand times, what it might be like to wake up beside Rafael, to spend a morning filled with lazy kisses and a breakfast made from the heart. He'd imagined all the different ways it could happen, but the real thing was better than anything his mind could have come up with. Seeing Rafael, still soft with sleep, in a threadbare shirt with ruffled hair was everything.

Rafael studied him for a moment, eyes narrowed, before taking a sip of his coffee. “You look far too pleased considering how early it is.”

“It’s almost ten!” Sonny shouted through a laugh, flipping the last pancakes out onto a plate. “That’s late .”

“Not for a Sunday,” Rafael muttered under his breath.

It was such a small thing, but something new to file away about Rafael. Not a morning person, definitely not on weekends. Something else he could commit to memory. Something else he got to see all because Rafael trusted Sonny enough to let him into his home, to let him spend the night, to let him make him breakfast and look after him the way he deserved.

He slid a plate of pancakes across the island to Rafael before making his way around the counter with his own, still grinning, giddy with awe and affection.

“You’re ridiculous,” Rafael said through a sigh, but he smiled at Sonny as he said it, pulling the plate closer to him before drowning it in syrup.

“I know,” Sonny said around a mouthful of pancake and bacon.

Rafael shook his head with a roll of his eyes, but Sonny wasn’t bothered. He’d learned a while ago not to read Rafael’s teasing and exasperation as a form of affection.

iv. fear part 2

Sonny paused in his doorway, hand already on his gun before a quiet, “It’s only me,” issues from his living room.

He let out a shaky breath and closed the door behind him, letting his head fall back against it, closing his eyes, willing his heart to calm down.

Of course it was only Rafael. Who else would it be?

“Hey,” Rafael said softly, closer now, and Sonny startled at the noise, eyes flashing open.

Rafael took his hands gently, concern etched into his face in a way Sonny was sure he’d only seen directed at victims before. It made his stomach churn.

“Liv called me,” he explained, cupping Sonny’s cheek gently. “Told me you...might need me here tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Sonny muttered, closing his eyes again.

“It’s okay if you’re not.”

He took a deep breath before turning his head to press a kiss to Rafael’s palm.

“You didn’t have to come.” He took Rafael’s hand away from his face, giving it a small squeeze. “I’m okay.”

“Maybe I needed to see for myself.”

The slight waver in Rafael’s voice took him by surprise, and he nodded, pulling Rafael towards him.

“I’m okay,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to the top of Rafael’s head.

He didn’t say just how close it had been, how he’d nearly not okay, how he wouldn’t be standing here right now if his Lieutenant hadn’t come at just the right moment and saved his ass from his own stupidity.

He didn’t say how he’d stared down the barrel of a gun, sure he was about to die, or the way he’d been certain at first that it was Cole’s gun that had fired, that it had been his blood spilled.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he admitted after a moment, allowing the exhaustion he felt to seep into his words. “Not sure how, uh...how well I’d sleep tonight without ya.”

Rafael pulled back, smiling so softly it made Sonny’s heart clench in his chest.

“I wouldn’t have slept at all,” he said, taking Sonny’s hand again to lead him into the apartment properly. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He nodded, allowing himself to be led to the bathroom, allowing himself to be looked after in a way he never really had before.

v. the end

“You’re leaving?” Sonny shouted, breathless from running up five flights of stairs.

Rafael winced and turned away from him, continuing to pack his suitcase. “Evidently.”

“Fuck,” Sonny said through a breath, gripping Rafael firmly on the arm, forcing him to turn. “Just like that? Without even talking to me first?”

Rafael looked down at the tie in his hands, fiddling with the tag, still refusing to look at Sonny.

“I thought I meant more to you than that.”

He hated how broken he sounded, hated the way his voice cracked as his throat tightened, eyes burning with tears he wouldn’t let fall. But it was enough to make Rafael look up at him, his own eyes wet and shining.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sounding just as broken as Sonny felt. “I knew if I spoke to you, my resolve would crumble and I...I have to leave, Sonny. I have to.”

“Why?” He was aware he was shouting but he couldn’t quite stop it. “You won, you’ll find another job, you—“

“I love you.”

Sonny blinked at him, the fight leaving him in an instant. The words were offered as though they were an explanation, but they just added to his confusion.

“Then stay.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rafael whispered. “But this is what I need. This is what I have to do.”

Sonny studied Rafael’s face, read between the lines in his broken, pleading expression. He wanted to fight, to beg, to do anything to make Rafael stay, but he knew it was no use. His partner was as stubborn as they come, and he could see this decision hadn’t been made lightly, nor would it be easy, so he nodded.

“I love you too,” he whispered as he cupped Rafael’s cheek, wiping a stray tear with his thumb.

Rafael closed his eyes, leaning into Sonny’s touch for a moment before smiling at him, still sad, still broken. Sonny’s heart ached to fix this somehow, but he knew he couldn’t.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Rafael said suddenly, a fierceness in his voice that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “Not unless you want it to be.”

“Of course not,” he said without hesitation.

He gripped Rafael’s face in his hands, and Rafael grabbed the front of his shirt, and their lips crashed together clumsily, all teeth and passion and longing and tears, and they fell into bed, packing abandoned for now, desperate for one last time together before everything changed.

vi. a new beginning

“So…” Rafael slid another drink across the table to Sonny. All his usual bravado seemed to have gone, replaced by a shyness and uncertainty that didn’t suit him. “You...seeing anyone?”

Sonny laughed, surprised by the question, and shook his head. “Nah. You?”

Rafael shook his head, smiling at Sonny over his glass. He still looked nervous, and before he could think better of it, Sonny leaned across the table and kissed him, soft and sweet and chaste, as though they hadn’t missed a day.

“God,” Rafael said through a laugh as they broke off. “I’ve missed that kiss.”

Sonny hummed in response, pleased with himself and his own bravery.

“I never stopped thinking about you, you know,” Rafael said quietly, barely audible over the chatter around them.

“I’m pretty hard to forget.”

Rafael rolled his eyes, biting down on a smile.

“You said it wasn’t goodbye,” Sonny said with a shrug, suddenly shy himself as he played idly with the condensation on the tabletop. “I guess I trusted you.”

“I meant it,” Rafael said quickly, reaching across the table to take Sonny’s hand.

“You stopped calling though,” he said, not meeting Rafael’s gaze.

Rafael sighed, and moved to take his hand away again, but Sonny stopped him, linking their fingers.

“I thought I was setting you free,” Rafael admitted with a sad smile. “Liv kept telling me I was an idiot but I—“

“You are an idiot.”

After a beat of silence, Rafael barked out a surprised laugh, throwing his head back.

“I missed that,” Rafael said through a sigh. “You just speaking your mind.”

“Well…” Sonny trailed off with a shrug, a grin slowly taking over his face.

They sat in silence for a while, just drinking, hands back on their respective sides of the table though Sonny longed to touch him again, to be closer.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admitted, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

Rafael didn’t look surprised at the admission, though. He simply nodded with a sigh.

“That was the problem. I thought if I stopped calling, maybe you’d...fall out of love.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Sonny said with a sharp shake of his head. He stood, moving around the table so he could sit beside Rafael, so close their knees touched. “For someone so smart, you really are stupid.”

Rafael hummed in agreement, but before he could say anything, Sonny kissed him, fiercer now, pulling Rafael into him, pouring years of pent-up longing into the action.

When they broke apart, both a little breathless, Rafael grinned at him, pressing their foreheads together.

“I never stopped loving you either, you know,” he said quietly.

“I know.”

“Can you forgive me for being an absolute idiot?”

Sonny smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Rafael’s lips before pulling back to stand up again.

“Already forgiven,” he said easily, holding out a hand for Rafael to take. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

#dailysvu #carisi week #barisi #sonny carisi #rafael barba #svu fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing

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aonogifreactions · 3 years

Text

Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me)

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious.

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

#Ao no Exorcist #blue exorcist #rin okumura #Yukio Okumura #mephisto pheles #lucifer #amaimon #astaroth #Headcanon #Pure

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cherrysha · 4 years

Text

The Chase

Hey! First post on this blog and its something I’ve never actually written before! Its Yandere Hisoka because I just rlly have a soft spot fr evil bastards. I want to write a lil more on this one buuut ive got sum other baddies i need to write for first. Since its my 1st time writing a yandere fic feedback is rlly appreciated <3

My requests are open atm

Warnings: Blood, a lil spit, Choking, Yandere themes, violence, slapping, crying, uhh Hisoka being a pervert but thats expected

word count: 1,600

18+ crowd here, minors get blocked.

Part 2 here

It didn’t take you long to understand why you were told to stay away. To be exact, it only took you three seconds.

“You know why no one has ever collected Hisoka’s bounty y/n?” your boss asked you after taking this mission.

Judging from his face you could tell the question was rhetorical. You rolled your eyes, waiting for him to finish his little lecture. “No one is stupid enough to walk into their own funeral. If you take his bounty you might as well pick out your own casket first, assuming you even have a body left to bury when he’s done with you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this one alone.” And with that, you left slamming the door behind you. No matter how many bounties you collected, it seemed like he just never gave you credit. It was just like him to underestimate your capabilities.

What a fool you were.

That’s all it took. Three seconds and he had already sensed you. Even though you concealed your nen, even though you were a rooftop away, even though you took every single fucking precaution you knew, it did you no good. As you peered through your binoculars at him you were met with Hisoka’s full gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. You felt it then, your hair standing on end, a sickening feeling in your gut. No, you hadn’t just walked to your funeral, you had sprinted.

You were running before you could even comprehend what happened, feet hitting the pavement as you tried to get as far away as possible. There was no time for you to be shocked, if his bloodlust was any indication of his power, you were as good as dead. There was no use in using any energy to try and conceal yourself now. He knew exactly where you were.

“I’ve got to be honest, you are definitely not what I expected…” Hisoka’s voice whispers into your ear. You faltered, your feet tripping over themselves as you felt the warmth of his breath on your neck. You couldnt hide the shock you felt that he had been able to catch up to you in such a short amount of time. Not many people could, and you had a head start. He lets you run anyway; his urge to murder you overpowered by his sudden desire to see you try to escape. No, he was going to savor this one. Hisoka always loved playing with his food and the way your heart was pounding was just too enticing.

You intrigued him, if he was being honest with himself. The chase had lasted longer than he had imagined. Any other bounty hunter would have stopped and tried to fight him by now. No, he could tell you were a smart one, you knew better than that. Hours of running had led to this moment and, oh, was he going to relish in it.

After what seemed like forever, you finally hit the dirt, spluttering as your body gave out due to exhaustion. Such a weak little thing. And to think you truly believed you could take him on. It was laughable. The chase seemed as if it were over, Hisoka sighed, giving up on his hopes of toying with you even more. At this point he knew he might as well finish you off. He didn’t like playing with broken things, and right now there was no way you would ever be able to take him on. His eyes lingered over you, and something in him hesitated as he glanced at your crumpled form lying in the dirt, chest heaving with exhaustion. Hisoka’s gaze wandered over your body. He couldn’t help the smug smile that crept onto his face with how wrecked you look. Clothes grimy and tattered, bloody arms and legs from branches hitting your delicate skin. The sight alone made his mouth water. As you laid there and finally caught your breath his resolve to kill you started waning. But the thought of watching you try to run again sounded so boring. Both of you knew there was no point. Before he could jump down and finish you off, you spoke for the first time since his little chase started.

“There’s no point in hiding up there. I’m not stupid enough to believe I’ve gotten away.” Once he heard the lilt in your voice, he knew he wanted you. The twinkle that was still held in your dry throat was his undoing. How could someone run from death for hours and still sound as angelic as you did? He needed to know, he needed to hear more.

Your first good look at him was when he finally jumped down. Lithe and nimble, landing on his feet like a cat. He seemed well built, albeit his fashion sense was more than off-putting. “So perceptive…To think someone as smart as you would try to murder me. You should know better.” he chastised, circling you as you shifted into a kneeling position. This was it, twenty plus years on this earth just to go out in a single second. You sighed, it came with the job. You knew the risks. Now was no time to hold a pity party. “Can you make it quick? I promise you I’d rather die than hear you drone on and on about how foolish I am.” You didn’t look at him, instead you held your head down and waited. The chuckle he let out was low in his throat, almost imperceptible if you hadn’t been in the quiet of the forest. Surprisingly, his voice was still calm and collected as he smiled down at you “And what if I don’t want to do that? I don’t think you’re in a position to be making any orders little girl.” you held in the anger you felt bubbling to the surface, knowing that it would only serve to amuse him further. He wanted a reaction out of you, wanted to rile you up so killing you would be even more fun for him. You bit your lip, trying your hardest to resist the urge to punch his stupid face in.

Hisoka drew closer, bending down until you flinched away “Would you like to live?” he whispered, lips ghosting against your ear. His proximity sent a shiver down your spine, as if your body could sense how dangerous he was. “I’m not going to beg for my life Hisoka. You might as well end it now.” He groaned at that. God, did he love the sound of your voice saying his name. it felt as if he could live off of it alone. His fingers slowly traced your jaw until he reached your chin, pushing it up so he could finally get a good look at your face. “You’re a proud little thing aren’t you? No matter, I’m positive your defiant attitude will dwindle with time.” Your breath hitched at his last words. No, He wasn’t going to torture you if you could help it.

The anger was building up in your chest and you couldn’t help yourself when his face was just mere inches from yours. You spit, but that only managed to make his grin grow wider. Even though his demeanor seemed calm, his aura showed the opposite. Long nails dug into your skin as he gripped your jaw tight, blood seeping from the fresh puncture wounds. This time the laugh was audible, amusement in his eyes making your stomach curl. You werent given enough time to react to it for long, however. He lifted you off the ground by your throat, loving the way your hands instinctively curled around his arm. So soft and warm, so easily breakable. He wondered how long it would take to pull you apart piece by piece. Wondered how you’d look at him once he put all your pieces back together.

This was it; this was exactly what you wanted. A swift death. You closed your eyes again and waited as your airway was slowly constricted by Hisoka’s large hand. If you had kept them open, you would have seen the way he swiped your spit off of his cheek, sucking his fingers into his mouth and indulging in his first taste of you. His groan was mixed with a small whine this time. He wanted more; He needed more. His first taste and he already knew he would never get enough of you.

Meanwhile somewhere in the back of your mind you were amazed at how strong he was to only lift you with one hand, but you pushed it away. What a silly thought to have right before you die. of course he was stronger than you. Instead you tried to focus your mind on something better, something sweet. The sky right after a storm, the pond near your house with dozens of colorful fish, the feeling of your warm bed. Everything was going to be okay. You relaxed, letting the last of your breath go.

But within a split second he had dropped you, laughing as your body thudded against the ground. “Such an interesting little creature … A lot smarter than I gave you credit for. You already know just how to push my buttons don’t you sweetheart?” Gasping for air, you lay back in the dirt and allowed the tears to flow freely down your face and into the packed soil beneath you. You had been so close to cutting it short, so close to dying with at least a shred of your dignity left. To cry while on death’s doorstep was shameful, but it didn’t matter. It wan’t like you could hide them once the torture started. Might as well lose your pride now, there wasn’t anything you could do. You were entirely helpless.

Hisoka saw it, the slump in your shoulders as the tears streaked through the grime covering your face. Those tears, he had to make sure that he was the only one who ever saw them. You were crying for yourself now, but once he got you home the only tears he wanted you to shed would be for him. From the pleasure he gave you. No, no one else could see them. They were his, you were his. He was determined to make you see, no matter how long he had to drill it into your stubborn head. The things he was planning on doing … he needed to ruin you.

Hisoka lifted you up by your neck again, but this time his grip was loose enough to allow you to breath. His hand came to your tangled hair, combing through before harshly yanking backwards only stopping once your face was mere inches from his own. You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to see the evil lurking just beneath the surface. Hisoka sighed, “Open your eyes for me darling.” You shook your head as best as you were able to with his grip still firmly in your hair. You couldnt trust yourself to speak, fearing your voice would crack and show just how weak you were.

An audible crack echoed in your ears as Hisoka slapped you, biting back his moan at the whimper you let out. “Love, it’s impolite to close your eyes when I’m trying to speak to you. I thought my suggestion was enough, but if I have to use force then so be it.”. Fresh tears flowed as you stared at him, biting back your sobs as best as you could. You watched his yellow eyes flick to your cheek, smile widening in satisfaction at what he saw there. He tilted you impossibly close, licking up a trail of tears that marred your swollen and dirty face. “So sweet” he groaned, letting his head rest against yours. “And all mine.”.

#yandere hisoka #hxh hisoka #hisoka x reader #yandere hisoka x reader #hxh #yandere x reader #hisoka morow #The chase

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suganovakawa · 4 years

Note

Hi hi I’m absolutely in love with your blog,, can we pls get some hcs of kageyama & suga being a bit insecure/jealous because their s/o has very attractive friends? Again I love ur blog sm and your writing is simply *chefs kiss* I want to 👉👈 be ur friend

aaaahhh yes ofc i’ll be your friend !! most definitely anonnie 🥺💘

only me, right?

— kageyama and sugawara prove to you that they deserve your love over the prying eyes of your friends!

— gen masterlist .

a / n : jealous hcs are MAJOR CHEFS KISS MATERIAL and they’re tobio and koushi too ??? OMG YES IVE BEEN BLESSED W THIS REQUEST 🥰🥰🥰

tobio kageyama.

✧｡ so we all know that tobio is a b e a u t i f u l boy

✧｡ but like . his social skills ? a solid 3 / 10 , unless you play volleyball .

✧｡ of course you found his awkwardness a cute aspect of his which added to his character , so you didn't mind it at all

✧｡ you do most of the talking in your relationship but the first year makes up for it when it's just the two of you

✧｡ though he swears that he's trying to do better , kags sweetie you are always going to be an awkward boyo and that's that

✧｡ you introduce him to your friends one day during lunch , they've been wanting to meet this so called " tobio kageyama "

✧｡ after a bit of begging persuading , kageyama finally agreed to sitting down with you and your friends for lunch

✧｡ you had to drag him to your guys' table the poor boy was so nervous

✧｡ and when he laid eyes on your friends ,

✧｡ he went pale .

✧｡ THESE WERE THE PEOPLE YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH ?

✧｡ they’re definitely supermodels in disguise bc wtf

✧｡ they're so easygoing and friendly too ,,

✧｡ and somehow you're not in a relationship with one of them ?

✧｡ watching you talk to your friends so nonchalantly gave tobio time to think during lunch , he was quiet since he had almost nothing to talk about with any of them

✧｡ none of them really cared about volleyball so they and tobio shared almost no interests

✧｡ he felt kinda insecure honestly , seeing you laugh with your friends over conversations he didn't bother participating in

✧｡ had he ever made you laugh like that before ?

✧｡ and they were insanely attractive too , he didn't know if they themselves even knew that or not

✧｡ you tried a couple of times during lunch to include tobio into conversation , but he'd end up going silent on you , leaving you to talk to your friends again

✧｡ the next time you two end up alone , however , your boyfriend made sure to bring up the situation

✧｡ " y/n , you'll tell me if there's anything i need to improve about myself , right ? "

✧｡ " like , volleyball wise , tobio ? "

✧｡ " no . i mean as your boyfriend . "

✧｡ you legit went 0_o

✧｡ " eh ? but you've always been a good boyfriend to me , tobio . there's nothing about yourself you could change to improve on being a better boyfriend , you're already doing an amazing job . i would never trade it for anything in the world "

✧｡ boy you sure knew how to make his self esteem jump

✧｡ " even with your attractive friends around you all the time , you'll still choose me ? "

✧｡ hearing this , you couldn't help but laugh

✧｡ " that's what you're worried about ? tobio , they're not my type . i'll never look at them the same way i look at you . "

✧｡ he felt reassured , yes

✧｡ but you'll soon notice he makes more of a conscious effort to stay by your side more when you're around your friends

koushi sugawara.

✧｡ you've always had an eye for gentle , kindhearted suga

✧｡ it still sometimes feels like a dream that you're in a relationship with him

✧｡ you're always gawking about him to your friends , even before you two became a thing

✧｡ even though you're completely oblivious that some of them have the hots for you

✧｡ so when you finally got the boy , your friends pressured you into letting them meet him

✧｡ you originally thought that they wanted to get a good look of him to admire him as well , so you said no

✧｡ uh no they want to see who exactly their competition is for you

✧｡ koushi didn't seem to mind the idea of meeting your friends ; after all , it was bound to happen one day

✧｡ you guys met up after school , practice got cancelled that day so it was the perfect time for a meeting between your boyfriend and your friends

✧｡ you guys were gonna walk home together !!! fun fun fun

✧｡ koushi laid eyes on your friends once and considered turning around and bringing you with him

✧｡ who tf let these pretty people around you without him there fending them off ?

✧｡ " are those your friends , y/n . . . ? "

✧｡ " yeah , they've been wanting to meet you !! c'mon koushi !! "

✧｡ how were you so oblivious to the stare down that your friends and boyfriend shared

✧｡ sugawara had a sharp eye on them the entire time , he had a gut feeling that they had side intentions

✧｡ he made sure you were at his side at all times on your guys' way home , subtly pulling you to his side and holding your hand when you friends would try to , like , put their arm around your shoulders and pull you closer to them

✧｡ don't get me wrong , the third year was planning on giving them the benefit of the doubt when you first introduced the idea of all of you walking home together

✧｡ but what you don't know is that suga has caught glimpses of you with your friends during school

✧｡ and he's seen your friends try to make advances on you , but somehow you're dense enough to blow it off so smoothly

✧｡ around the end was when you finally felt some tension , your last friend finally stopped in front of their place

✧｡ koushi noticed that they were leaning in for a kiss on the cheek

✧｡ but you being you thought they were going in for a hug and so you squeezed them tightly instead

✧｡ right after you pulled away from them , suga grabbed you by the hand and pulled you away before you or they could say anything else

✧｡ " koushi ? what's wrong ? "

✧｡ " oh , uhm . nothing , y/n . it's just getting dark , is all "

✧｡ " what did you think of my friends , suga ?? "

✧｡ " they're , uh , a lovely bunch . but you don't happen to think that they , uh , have feelings for you , do they ? "

✧｡ " what ? that's crazy ! "

✧｡ you stopped abruptly and took both of koushi's hands into your own , staring him down intently

✧｡ " besides , i've only ever had feelings for you , koushi . they're my friends , but you're my boyfriend . you guys will always have special places in my heart , but never forget that their place is always going to be different from yours . "

✧｡ he smiled , because as dense as you may be sometimes , he could always depend on you no matter what

✧｡ " i love you , y/n . i just want you to know that . "

✧｡ " i love you too , koushi . "

✧｡ " but uhm , could we walk home alone again from now on ? i like it better , just the two of us . "

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ivyuns · 4 years

Text

love me in a year ✰❆♣♞

bang chan

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 2.4k

warnings: kidnapping, restraints, y/n gets pregnant, grinding, drowning, weapons, a bit suggestive. if i missed anything lol oops

A/N: another shet show + from 365 dni (the ending isnt exactly like the movie btw)

for my gurlieeeee + happy birthday to @stanstraykidswoo <3

masterlist

mafialeader!bangchan x fem!reader

enjoying the summer breeze on the islands of hawaii, next to your friend made you feel relaxed. from all the work and stress you did, you finally earned yourself a vacation.

“babe!”

opening your eyes, you see your boyfriend (in a unhappy relationship) walks towards you. taking off your glasses and sitting up next to the pool, waiting what your boyfriend had to tell you. “i just got back from seeing the volcanoes babe! you shouldve seen it-” “we were supposed to go look at it together, dumbass” you cut your boyfriend off.

“w-wait y/n-” running away before he said anything, you got lost in a dark area. wasnt just sunny? seeing a group of guys look at you while trying to come closer. damn these outfits. your outfit consist of a short flowy, off the shoulder dress with heels. running with shaky legs, you looked around and saw everything get dark.

“are you lost babygirl?”

waking up in a soft bed, you look over and look at the unfamiliar room youre in. “where am i?” you whispered softly. walking towards a door to the hallway, the door wont budge open. shaking the door knob, it still wont burst open. giving up, you go lay back down on the bed.

closing your eyes to relax, you hear the door unlocking. quickly putting on your heels, you open the door and see nobody. following to which ever door took you, it seem endless. the endless numbers of stairs and doors you went though, you came across to a massive painting of a portrait of yourself hanging on the dinning room’s wall.

“oh my god”

continuing to follow where your legs take you, you were yanked away from seeking to your freedom. “are you lost babygirl?”. feeling someones presence behind you, you see a man. someone who you never seen.

“who are you and what do you want from me” you say and slowly back away from him. “chris is the name. you see, five years ago, i saw you on a beach. then suddenly i got shot and all i could think was you. these pass five years, ive been trying to find you and now” chris pauses his sentence and walks to a cup of ice, making you suck on it. “now i have you”

spitting the ice out, you got angry. “so what? you think kidnapping me is some kind of way to have me?” chris gets angry after your tone of your voice you gave him. he pushes you on a chair and chokes you lightly.

“i will give you 365 days to make you fall in love with me. and if that doesnt work, i will release you.” chris slowly lets go of your neck and continues talking. “i promise i will not touch you without your permission.”

chris gets interrupt by his phone. reaching his pocket, he sees his mafia friend who works with him calling him for help in the front. running to where to meet him at, you gave a few minutes before running on your feet again, trying to escape.

finally outside with a big open field in front of you, where you will be free. running, you stop midway as you see chris kill a man. witnessing what happened, you pass out due to pressure from everything.

the next morning, you wake up in the same room before but a whole different dress on you and a shirtless chris sitting in a chair in front of you. “let me out of here now” you shouted at him. “i need to get back to my family, my boyfriend!”. “you really think he still loves you? take a look at this” chris says and throws a small stack of pictures. pictures of him fucking another girl.

“a-are you serious?”

“yes im serious. oh and we’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. be ready” chris says and exits the room. “where are we going?” you quickly grab his wrist and stops. “to australia”

landing and going to the hotel. chris stops you and gives you the keycard to your room. “my room is next to yours if you need me”. nodding your head a yes, you enter your room and place your bags down and sighed. what is happening right now.

chris walks out of his room to see you look like a goddess. “y/n” chris calls out. turning around, chris grins with his dimples showing and grabbing your hand to head to the place you two are meeting with. chris opens the passenger door for you and makes his way to the drivers seat after youre in. while driving, he places his hands on your thigh, making you want more of him. avoiding his hand, you close your eyes.

arriving at your destination, it turns out to a bar. entering the bar, chris leads you to a room. seeing people, you hide behind chris bc youre antisocial as fuck

“y/n, this is aeyeong. ayeong meet-” “y/n. yes i know her name” aeyeong says, looking at you then back to chris, seducing him. “you know y/n, me and chris used to talk.” walking up to you. “and fucked each other” aeyeongs whispers into your ear. feeling chris wrap his hands around yours, you push him away and left the room.

“this happened a long time ago-” feeling tense, chris was about to turn and find you til aeyeong grabbed his wrist. “i thought you said we would last forever hm? took you long enough to find her. even of all our messages.” aeyeong grabs her phone and pulls up their naked bodies in photos. sexting.

“enough aeyeong.” chris grabs her phone and throws it onto the floor. running out of the room to look for you, leaving aeyeong to laugh.

“mr bang!”

chris turns around and sees his partner running to him. “y-y/n. shes with aeyeongs boss. i just got a call from him-” “shut the fuck up and tell me which room” “room 325.”

chris runs to room 325 and sees you grind on the boss. “y/n” chris growls. not paying attention to chris, you feel aeyeong’s boss grope your ass and suddenly putting a knife towards your neck.

suddenly feeling someone pull you away from the man and unable seeing things, chris and the rest of his members pulls out their weapon.

opening your eyes and see yourself on a yacht, you walk around and find chris. seeing chris talk shit about you to his other partner. “she just really had to run away-”

“im sorry chris” you spoke out. chris turns around and tells his partner to leave for a moment. “this is all your fault. youre the one who left the room and potentially tried to seduce him. do you not know what he couldve done?”

arguing on the boat and heading to the railings, you slip off and fall into the water. panicking, chris falls into the water and saves you. taking you out of the water and goes to lay you down on the bed and stands by your side.

a few minutes later, you wake up with water coming out of your mouth, coughing. chris turns around and goes to you with worried eyes. “y/n, i-im sorry. please dont leave me, i need you” chris softly says and strokes your hair with tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

lifting your weak hands up to caress his cheeks, you pushed him down and began kissing him roughly. regretting as soon as you saw the red in his eyes. “so now you want it?” chris growls and begins to attack you with kisses and hickies. feeling your clothes ripped away from you.

a few weeks later, youre back in korea. chris leaves you for the day, saying he has business to attend to and will call you later. but hours flew by and still didnt have any calls. sighing, you call your best friend, minyeong who yells at you though the speakers after the first ring.

“are you kidding me y/n? you cant just leave me behind at hawaii?!”

“i know i know, ill explain if you come over”

after she hears you say the sentence, she hangs up and runs to your place. opening the door for her, she starts speaking nonsense and you just laughing at her.

“y/n, this is serious. stop laughing and tell me what happened.”

sitting down next to her, you tell her everything. even when you love him back. minyeong at first didnt like what chris did to you and what his job it, but you beg her for you to have happiness atlas. with minyeong wanting you to be the happiest, you two go to the bar.

feeling someones eyes on you, you told minyeong you were going to the restrooms as she continues dancing. almost at the door, someone slams you onto the wall. “y/n, baby. i missed you so much. im sorry-” feeling tears streaming as you remember the past events and pictures. you forced him to let go of you and run back to your place.

he follows you back to your apartment without you noticing and as you take a seat with his loud voice scares you. “baby please” he goes closer to you and tries to kiss you until a voice rang.

“im pretty sure she wants you to leave”

he looks at chris then back to you then slaps you. “you fucking whore. youve been cheating on me when you left me didnt you” shaking your head a no and the tears uncontrollably falling as you try to shield yourself from another slap.

receiving nothing, you look up and see chris holding his wrist to prevent him from hitting you. “if theres someone else who was cheating is you. now leave you fucker” chris whispers in his ears and runs away.

chris looks down and sees your shaking figure. he goes next to you and wraps his arms around you so you can start feel calm. reaching to that point, chris picks you up and lays you on the bed.

slowly kissing you from your lips to your chest. chris begins undressing you til you stop him. unbuttoning his top, you see the semi open wound from his business. grazing your fingers over it as you hear chris slightly whimper.

“chris, im in love with you”

chris smiles widely. “im in love with you too”. you two continue the heavy make out which turns into a passionate sex for you both.

waking up with you on chris’ chest, you feel him showing a smile. he turns to the nightstand and grabs something small but worthy.

“y/n l/n, would you please marry me?”

nodding your head yes a bunch of times, you kiss chris on the lips.

heading back to hawaii, youre back into the palace where chris kept you in. waking up from your slumber, you go outside and talk to chris. chris sees you and tells his partner that he’ll be right back.

“hey hey babygirl, what happened? you alright?” chris leaves his seat to go to you as you start feeling shitty. “chris, i dont feel goo-” your eyes are shut closed and almost falls on the hard concrete til chris caught you.

“c-changbin! help!” chris yells out to whoever is out. your lips are slowly turning pale. changbin runs to chris with a blanket to cover your cold body and helps him carry you to the car. changbin speeds to the hospital with chris’ tears falling onto you, holding your hands and kissing the back of it. “please be okay, please please” chris whispers.

changbin parks at the emergency lot and chris grabs your body and puts you on the stretcher as the nurses sees you two. “please save her” the nurses all nodded their head and disappeared into the doors with a chris on the floor, sobbing his heart out, praying for you to be okay.

finally hours passed by and chris was left alone as he told changbin to go back to the palace. eyes all red and puffy with his legs shaking, full of anxiety. “mr bang?” the doctors call out chris. he stands up too quickly, making him almost loose his balance but the doctor helps him balance for a few seconds. thanking him, he follows the doctor to your room.

chris runs to your side as he sees your eyes open, with all type of wires attached to you. “y/n baby are you okay?”. nodding yes with a small smile, chris looks at the doctor.

“it looks like miss y/n was 1 month pregnant. and also looks like she wasnt taking care of herself either so mr bang, do y/n a favor and help not only her, but the baby”

you and chris nod your head, understanding as the doctor leaves you two. chris turns into his soft self. “i love you” he giggles. “i love you too chris”. scooting further away from him, you pat on the empty spot on the bed for him. chris smiles widely and goes to lay down next to you. you fall asleep from the warmth of your fiance as he hugs you. “and i love you too baby” he whispers and puts his free hand on your growing stomach. kissing your head and falling asleep next to the love of his life.

END <3

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