#ive been infected by the catradora | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stereoskopiandaydream · 5 years

Text

catradora thing

(After a battle where catra used a modified version of the infection disk that she could remotely turn on and off)

(Yes there’s a lot that kinda gets glossed over sorry)

——

“You know, i realized this is never going to end. I realized it that time i corrupted you, Ms. She-Ra. That was when I realized just how strong and how indomitable She-Ra really is. You have so much power, and yet, you only use just enough to fend me off. You never swing fast enough that I can’t dodge or jump back. You never hit me hard enough to knock me out. You never actually try, you’ve just been pulling your punches this whole time. Almost reminds me of training back in the fright zone.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why did you deactivate the infection if you don’t want me pulling my punches? I don’t-“

“Oh Adora, big, dumb, heart-of-gold Adora. I did this so maybe? Just maybe? We can actually get somewhere. I know that while you’ve got me in your hands, i can’t go anywhere unless you let me go, and I know you won’t go anywhere while you have the slightest chance of bringing me back with you.”

“What’s to stop me from just taking you with me right now?”

“The fact that without you, your allies? The princesses? They aren’t competent enough to beat the horde. They aren’t ruthless enough, they haven’t suffered enough. And i brought my angriest, hungriest soldiers today. Orders are to capture if possible, kill if necessary.”

“But I could just have them surrender by holding you up by the scruff of your neck and waving you around.”

“They don’t care about me. I gave them the orders long ago that should I be captured or killed in combat, they were to simply kill anything that wasn’t horde on sight. And you can hear that the sounds of battle have stopped for a while now. If your princesses had won, that have come running to you by now. My men won’t try to find me. Waste of time and resources.”

“You’re not a waste of time and resources!”

“Well you left so i must be! Actions speak louder than words Adora.”

“I wanted you to come with me! I gave you so many chances, and... hell, even now, if you decided to come with me right now - i mean you said it yourself the horde wouldn’t even look for you! There’d be no one to get you in trouble, none of shadow weaver’s bullshit, none of Hordak’s bullshit, just you and me, in the alliance. Honestly, I don’t even know why you stay in the Horde.”

Catra let out a sigh.

“Do you want to know why?”

“Yes! Of course!”

“Because... because i might have joined you in the rebellion. When you first left, if you’d just let me go with you that night. I’ve thought about it a lot. But no. You said, cover for me catra, and like a dumb little fucking idiot, i tried to, even though shadow weaver knew you were gone. I still lied to her, and i still got in even more trouble and as time went on I was wondering where you were. Worried you’d been captured by princesses, or worse. And you never tried to get back to me. You never tried for me, you just wanted me to try for you, you wanted me to give up for you. I’m done trying for you, Adora. I mean, I wanted you back so badly i nearly got killed by Hordak for it.”

“Yeah but if you come back with me, nobody’s going to hurt you, and even if they did try, I wouldn’t let them.”

“Ha! That’s such bullshit, Adora! You would only be willing to fight the princess alliance for me if they tried to hurt me? Then please, tell me, what have you been waiting for? Every time we fight, that talking purple glitterbomb tries to kill me, and so does her robinhood sidekick, and that hippy chick and everybody else too.”

“Yeah but-”

“Yeah but what? Yeah but what, Adora? Come on, for crying out loud, get real! You’re so used to having things your way that the thought of anyone else getting their way, especially me getting mine? It pisses you off. You just want everything to be easy, just handed to you on a silver platter, and-“

“Yes I do want it to be easy! I don’t wanna fight you anymore, i never even wanted to fight you in the first place! I thought you’d be happy to leave the horde, and yeah, maybe i did get special treatment from shadow weaver-“

“Maybe?”

“Okay, yes, she gave me special treatment, but it wasn’t all fun and games just cuz she liked me, it was constant pressure, just, this expectation to be perfect and anytime I failed it was... it was horrible”

“Well all i ever did was fail even when i didn’t. Even when I got the same grade as you or the same time on a training sim, it didn’t matter and not just because you were there and somehow infinitely better in every way just because you were Adora, but there was always something wrong with my work. There was always something wrong with me. And she made sure to tell me. That was pretty fucking horrible too. But i guess the worst part wasn’t where shadow weaver was an evil fucking asshole to me, it was the part where you just sat there quietly and let her, or godsdammit, those times when you agreed with her? Are you kidding me? “You were being disrespectful” yeah, so? When has she ever treated me with enough respect to deserve any back? Huh?”

“Well, you never tried to help me either! I nearly broke under the pressure!”

“I nearly broke under the pressure too!”

“You just said- you just- i mean you didn’t have that pressure because no matter what you did shadow weaver never thought it was good enough”

“Is that... are you... like - ugh. Did you really think i didn’t have any expectations for myself? I knew i was at least as good as you, and you did too, the one time you vouched for me. Plus, that’s kind of a shitty thing to say, isn’t it?

“Oh you were a failure in her eyes so why would you feel any pressure to succeed?” Really Adora? Really?”

“I-“

“Just shut up.”

“Hey!”

“Hey what?!” Catra snapped.

“That’s rude!” Adora blurted out.

They both sat there for an incredulous moment before the two of them burst out into laughter.

“That’s - that’s rude???”

“I know, i know thats one of the dumbest things ive ever said”

“We’re screaming our hearts out on a battlefield where people have been killed and you think being told to shut up is rude?”

“No. Not really. It was more the part where you cut me off.”

“Not like i was interrupting anything important.”

“Actually... yeah, you did.”

Catra looked at She-Ra.

“I was... i was going to say sorry.”

“Why would that matter to me?”

“Because I am.”

“Sounds like-“

“Bullshit, I know.”

“Hey, that’s rude.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“I’m sorry. I-“

“I said-“

“No, shut up and let me say this. I mean it,” Adora’s voice softened a little, still tough, but gentler. “I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I see it now. That’s my fault. It was dumb going alone anyway, but what was dumber was leaving you behind in that hellhole with shadow weaver. I just. I guess I thought that just because you’re strong enough to handle whatever shadow weaver threw your way that it was okay to leave you. But now I know - and yes, i know it’s too late - but now I know that just because you’d be okay didn’t make it okay. And I’m sorry for trying to put this all on you. It’s not your fault. Like you said, I left, and I didn’t come back. I’m just,” she grimaced mid sentence, “im just kicking myself, thinking about what i did, how I went about things. You should have been the first thing on my mind. You should have been the only thing on my mind, and i don’t know. I guess I let myself get all caught up in... in trying to live up to all these new expectations all of sudden that i forgot about what was truly important.”

“If it was truly important, then you wouldn’t have forgotten about it.”

“Catra!”

“What, am i being rude again?”

“Actually? Yeah. I’m trying to say sorry for what I’ve done, and you’re just... you’re just throwing it out the window like it means nothing to you!”

“And? It doesn’t mean anything to me Adora. Anyone can say sorry. Anyone can admit what they’ve done wrong. But only the people who really are sorry for what they’ve done will actually go out of their way to fix it. Only people who are really, truly sorry, who actually want to make things right? They’re the only one who actually try. And you’re not trying.”

“I am trying!”

“Doesn’t look like it to me. Actually it looks like you’re crying to me. Poow wittew baby adowa, cwies whenevew she doesnt get hew own way, wah wah wah, get over it. You never really cared about me. I was just some charity case for you to make yourself feel good. Stop crying and let me go.”

“Fine. I’ll let you go.”

She-ra picked Catra up, and threw her by the collar into the air.

Catra landed on her feet, gave She-Ra one last glare, and disappeared into the smoke.

“Godsdammit.”

She-ra fell to her knees and hit the ground a small little blonde teen in a Horde uniform again.

“Godsdammit.”

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