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#ive been laughing at this for way too long-
i can fix him (no really i can) // mattheo riddle x fem reader
playlist : i can fix him (no really i can) - taylor swift
summary : mattheo riddle is cold as ice , he always has been , so who are you to think you can fix him?
gryffindor reader , friends with golden trio , makes a bet , fluff , harry x reader platonic , swearing , honestly cringe but wtv
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you sat in the great hall staring ahead of you at a certain brown haired boy , eating his food silently surrounded by his chatty friends he didnt seem to pay any mind to. mattheo riddle. he had always intriuged you , you werent sure your curiousity was requited but you knew you liked him. a lot.
"you best not be looking at him again y/n" hermione sighed , sat opposite to you and in front of the slytherin table.
"hermione , ive liked him since first year are we still seriously asking this question every day." you pulled your eyes away from him , and looked at the girl with a teasing smile , knowing you were guilty of staring.
"gosh you really need to get over it , i mean what about dean he seems to really like you?" you both turned your heads to look at hermiones suggested replacement for mattheo , who was currently trying to turn his pumkin juice into water just with his eyes.
you scoffed and turned back to hermione , who looked defeated , "im sure the conversation would be great."
hermione ingorned your sarcasm and continued to argue , "mattheo isnt a good guy we both know this,"
"i can fix him," you winked at her teasingly as she scoffed , containing a laugh.
"arent you just our brave little bob the builder," harry joked , you and hermione being completely startled by his and rons prescence next to you both , eventhough theyd been there the whole time.
you laughed at him , attempting to defend your claim, "no really i can! ill fix him so hard that he gets mistaken for golden boy cedric!"
"this is starting to sound oddly sexua-" ron stated blandly before hermione slapped his arm , making him stop talking abruptly and clutch it.
"i dont believe you," hermione stated simply as you smirked at her.
"end of the week and he'll like me back or atleast talk to me," you stuck your hand out as she hesitated before shaking it muttering a disapproving , 'deal'.
looking at her smugly you let your eyes quickly wander to mattheo , only to see him staring right at you. this caused you to gasp and turn you whole body to face harry next to you , who looked at you in confusion.
holding a hand to harrys ear and whispering , "is he still staring at me" timidly.
harry looked , only to see a very threatening mattheo riddle stare back at him like he started the wizarding war.
"oh merlin no not at you , hes looking at me , not in a .... very nice way," harry whispered back as you refused to turn , nervous by your crush of years staring in your direction.
grabbing harrys arm with your two hands and shaking it with a small cry of terror harry turned back to you, "hes so hot even when he looks like he wants to kill you! id let him as long as he never changed that gorgeous face"
"wow great to know you value my life," harry muttered sarcastically as you laughed at him before slowly turning bcak to face hermione , avoiding looking in mattheos direction.
"well hermione its great to do business with you," you smiled at her as she grimaced at you.
"he is a person you know," she said sternly.
"i know , thats the problem! hes good looking hes smart AND hes a good person!" you sighed.
"well i dont know about one of those things-" ron started in disinterested grumble.
"thats why im doing this hermione! hes so perfect that a little bet is the motivation i need to actually talk to him!" you ranted to her.
she just looked back a you blankly , nodding along to what you said , too bored to argue back.
"anyways , did anyone do their herbology homework?" hermione asked all three of us.
ron let out a defeated sigh , "how many times hermione , not all of us have that little time turning watch thing , we cant do herbology because its at the same time as history of magic!"
"well , ronald , i apolagise that i forgot!...." hermiones arguing back faded into the background as your sudden realisation that you had just made an impossible bet sunk in.
no one can melt mattheo riddle , it is literally impossible.
what have you gotten yourself into.
-----
maybe it is possible! oh the Gods of luck had blessed you today.
Dumbledore just announced the triwizard tournament and from your oh so knowledgable friend hermione , you knew that a ball was involved in the triwizard tournament. maybe the fact harrys name came out the goblet wasnt so good but you had a plan! now this may seem ridiculous , the ball isnt until christmas! but...throughout the term youre doing practices , the first one on friday! two days from now!
and your great plan was to dance with mattheo in this practice, gain his interest , ask him to hogsmeade over the weekend and then BOOM , hes in love!! all by the end of the week!
as you recited your plan to your three friends they looked back at you , horrified.
"right and... you expect mattheo riddle to fall in love with you , in three days?" ron asked in pure confusion.
"well yeah thats what i just said," you said with a shrug.
"y/n you're really not that charismatic i dont think youve ever flirted with anyeone nevermind asked a boy to hogsmeade," hermione said , almost with sympathy for your pure delusion.
"you guys are cruel i think i can ..... i cant do it." you dropped your act of confidence.
your shoulder slouched as you lost all hopes of catching the boy of your dreams , the plan drifting into the forgotten corner of your mind.
the trio watched you lose all happiness and life and let out sighs , harry deciding to speak up , "y/n i think your plan could work. i mean your flirting will be ... raw and.... new". he spoke with uncertainty as he tried to speak in a way that was reassuring , eventhough he didnt believe a word he said.
"really?" you said with hope , looking up at him.
"sure!" he smiled .
"let me practice on you harry!" as you turned to him with an excited smile drowning out his words of declining your request.
you looked at him with your prettiest smile , shuffling closer than before and playing with your hair , "hey boy , want me to be your chosen one?"
you winked at him as he blushed a deep red and looked anywhere but at you.
ron laughed loudly at harrys panic , "that really made you flustered?!, fucking hell!"
ron howled with laughter as harry rubbed his neck , until you turned to ron with the same flirtatious smile , "i really like your hair , i heard gingers are rare - wanna be my one in a million?"
ron paused his laughter and looked at you with horror , "there is literally like 5 other gingers in this room right now-"
"and out of all of them , i chose you" you winked at him as he was left speechless.
"yeah shes kinda good," ron laughed.
"all i can say is good luck, " hermione stated as you smiled in victory.
meanwhile an extremely angered mattheo riddle stood up from the slytherin table and stormed out the hall , having seen your whole encouter with harry.
----
the next thing you knew , you were sat on a bench with all of your year group present , boys on one side , girls on the other. you clenched your shaking hands onto the bench on either side of you , staring directly forward and avoiding mattheo who was stood a few metres away from where you stared.
"you were so confident a few days ago why are you shaking?" hermione asked teasingly.
you snapped your head towards her with a hard glare , "im in no mood for teasing mione im gonna throw up."
she sighed , "just ask him to dance its not that bad y/n dont worry!"
"and if he says no?" you asked in panic.
"then he says no and you lose the bet , " she smiled.
"its...its not really about the bet mione i really like him , if he rejects me i dont think ill recover." you look down at your lap as your leg bounces.
"oh give over! theres about 5 people i can see right now , staring at you , itching to dance with you," she nodded her head in the direction of a group of ravenclaws staring at you as you cringed internally , "and... ha it looks like mattheos seen them too!" she teasingly whsipered in a sing-song voice.
you gave her a confused look before turning to see mattheo , who was actually throwing a deathly glare at the boys who were staring at you.
"theyre probably looking at you mione," you sulked as she went to argue back , interrupted by Mcgonagall walking into the room.
"silence!" she started as you drowned out her words for the next 5 minutes , only tuning back in when she made ron dance with her , laughing hysterically at him.
after a few minutes of rons awkward dancing she urged everyone to join in , everyone hesitated and stayed seated until - to everyones -suprise mattheo was the first person to walk forward with a confident stride to our side of the room , coming straight towards......you?!!
you made eye contact with him and held a hopeful smile until daphne stood infront of him, blocking your view of him and stopping him in his tracks . he tried to get past her until she whispered something to him , making him stop and put his hand on her waist , beginning to dance as everyone else seemed to do the same.
but you remained in your seat , motified by the sight of the boy you liked dancing with one of the prettiest girls in your year , right infront of you.
hermione rested her hand on your shoulder sympathetically before being dragged away by a guy shes friends with in ravenclaw.
you sat in silence until a hand came into your view , held out to you. following up the arm the hand was attached to you finally reached harrys smiling face.
"he sucks anyway , dance with me instead?" he smiled as you allow you sadness to fade slightly , nodding and grabbing harrys hand allowing yourself to be pulled into the middle of the floor , about two metres from where mattheo and daphne danced.
"thanks harry," you said softly as you rested your arms around his neck , his hands resting on your waist.
"no worries, theres no other girl id rather dance with in this room."
"asides from cho chang but ill let you have it because she isnt technically in the room," as you laughed at his flustered face.
"hows ron after dancing with-" you started.
"oh hes horrified , dont worry ill make sure to bring that up for the rest of his life. im sure fred and george will too when i tell them," you both laughed together , letting yourself feel the meloncholia leave.
"i-" you began before being cut off by a sudden presence stood next to you and harry.
turning to look at who had created the shadow inbetween you , you were just as horrified as ron was to see mattheo stood there looking at you.
"can we dance?" he said sternly , not sparing a single glance at harry who had let go of your waist.
"but you were dancing with daphne-"
"i just danced with her whilst draco mustered up the courage to ask her himself , she didnt want to have no one to dance with. i wanted to dance with you." he said with zero hesitation , only breaking eye contact to glance at your arms still behind harrys neck , making you drop them quickly.
"s-...sure" he didnt wait to grab your hand and bring you towards him , resting his hands on your hips and shoving harry out the way with his side.
you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks , hesitantly bringing your arms around his neck and swaying to the music with him , falling into step with everyone else.
he pulled you in closer , his expression becoming softer as harry was gone and it was just you.
"why did you want to dance with me?" you asked so softly it was almost a whisper , a low exchange between two unknowingly requited lovers.
"why wouldnt i?" he paused , a so small - it was almost not visible -smile gracing his lips , "youre interesting."
"how so?" you laughed.
he laughed too before replying , "i dont know im..drawn to you. i have been since first year , i guess i just never acted on it till now."
"why?..."
he paused , "well you like potter dont you? and i dont know if you realise this but every guy here wants to be with you , theyre just too scared and i guess i was too."
you looked at him with pure confusion , "i dont not like harry , hes my best friend!"
he laughed , "well considering you left him to dance with me i think i know that now."
you smiled up at him , admiring every feature you hadnt seen before from your distant pining. from his deep brown eyes to how perfect his curls layed on his head , the small scar across his eyebrow and the so faint freckles that you can only see them at this close proximity.
"i think youre interesting too," he smiled at your words as you left the first sign of your requited feelings , "i dont know you well but ive always liked you. at first it was just because youre hot - but now its much more! youre cold to everyone but i can tell youre probably really nice, and youre so passionate during quidditch matches , and youre so smart which is really suprising considering you only show up to the lessons we share- oh. oh!" you rambled as you realised how obvious his signs were this whole time.
he laughed at you a very light pink painting itself across his cheeks , "yeah , oh."
you looked down sheepishly until his soft voice caught your attention again, "well i guess a trip to hogsmeade has been due for quite a while then?"
you grinned at him nodding your head in excitement , "definetly!"
as you and mattheo continued to sway and talk about everything you could think of - harry , ron and hermione stood in the corner of the room.
"fuck off she actually did it!!" ron said in pure suprise.
"ive never seen mattheo riddle smile before," harry commented before turning to a happy hermione , "you owe her five chocolate bars."
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talaok · 1 day
Text
But Daddy I Love Him
summary: You and Joel shouldn't be together. According to the people in Jackson, he's a bad, cruel, crazy man, and yet... he's all you ever wanted.
Warnings: smut (unprotected p in v), angst, blood, physical fight (?), happy ending (cause of course)
a/n: ive been obsessed with this song since it came out, please just go listen to it
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Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Screamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want
— — —
"fuck"
"god"
His breath, his hands, his beard, his mouth, his cock
Him
He was all you could feel, he was all that existed,
nothing but him and his intoxicating aura, his manly mist, his sweaty body his strong arms,
Him
Joel Miller
The man you should not want, the man you should be terrified of, that you should run and hide from, 
the terrible, crazy, Joel Miller 
The same one everyone told you to stay away from, your friends, your family, strangers, the entirety of Jackson
And yet he was the only man you ever really wanted, really needed. 
"I missed you so much"
Even your own voice was nothing, it was a phantom of something that existed long ago, something that stopped living every time he was near, every time he would make everything dissipate into thin air with just his presence.
"I missed you too baby girl" he grunted,
oh how he grunts, how he groans, how he moans
nobody does it like him
"missed you so fucking much darlin'"
His voice felt like a prayer, like a sweet invocation to the sky up above, to whomever would listen,
one that countered completely what he was doing, the nothing but sinful way he had you up against the wall, his hands gripping your waist as he thrust his cock in and out of you so fast you might just break.
The bed was right beside you, but that didn't matter, that's how you were
You and Joel, 
like animals, like soulmates, like desperate, desperate lovers
Your minds didn't work the same when you were near, they didn't work at all, one could argue
But isn't that was love is after all?
"oh my god" you moaned, hiding your head in the crook of his neck as one particular deep thrust made you see stars
"I know darlin'" he cooed, only going faster, deeper "I know"
"Joel" you cried, biting down on his skin "f-fuck"
It had only been two weeks since you last saw each other, but it might as well been decades.
They had sent him away.
Nobody liked him in Jackson, not once they'd learned his story, the terrible things he'd done
And when they found out about you... not even his own brother could protect him.
So they'd exiled him. 
But they couldn't keep him away forever, not when he had something to come back for.
"god fuckin' damnit babygirl- you feel so fuckin' good"
Your moans only got higher, your nails clinging to his back like a rabid cat.
"perfect lil' pussy" he growled, his hot breath on your sweaty neck pulling shivers from your body "Perfect fuckin' girl"
"oh fuck" you whined, tightening your legs' hold onto his waist 
"you feel so good too Joel" you promised, breathing heavily in synch with him "You and your perfect cock"
He groaned so loud he sounded like an animal
"might want to keep that pretty mouth shut if you want this to last, sugar"
You didn't know where you found the strength to laugh, but you did
"you're gonna come too soon, old man?"
His hold on your waist pulled you even closer, as you raised your head to look him in the eyes
God, he was handsome
"just might, if you keep saying stuff like that"
but before you could tell him how it wasn't fair, how he did it all the time and you couldn't do it even once, his thumb was on your clit and your eyes were to the back of your head.
"no" he stopped you before you could hide your face from him again "I want to see you"
And as warmth filled your chest and your forehead fell to his and pressure built in your belly, he murmured:
"good girl- come for me, just like that- Jesus Christ-"
And so you did,
You came and moaned and cried, and it didn't take much before he was doing the same, pumping you full of him until he'd given you every single drop.
And then you kissed, he kissed you slowly and gently and in the same exact way that made you fall for him the very first time.
"god I missed you so much" he breathed once you leaned away
A smile from ear to ear took over your face and all you could do was kiss him again
"me too baby" you murmured, as he helped you to your feet
You both smiled like silly idiots as you dressed again,
but neither of you could resist being in each other's arms, so you didn't.
He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head once you rested it on his still bare chest.
You didn't get how anyone could hate him,
You swore they wouldn't, they wouldn't if they only got to meet him, the real him, not the idea of him they had painted in their minds.
And so you hummed, breathing him in, clinging to him as he clung to you
Up until the very moment it all went to shit
Again.
"hey honey I just got back I-"
It was sad really, the fact you'd seen this scene before.
The disappointment in your dad's eyes, the fear turning into primal rage inside his iris, his fists tightening, Joel taking a step back
A deja-vu had never felt quite so devastating
"Arthur" Joel tried to speak, but your dad was already on him, his fist had already connected with his cheek
"What did I tell you!?" another punch "Last time was just a fucking warning!" and another
Joel was on the ground
He wasn't going to fight back.
This wasn't how he wanted to handle things
Not this time
Not with you
"I'll kill you this time you fucking disgusting pervert!" you swore you heard Joel's cheekbone crack with another hit "How dare you!?" your dad growled, Joel's bloody face beneath him "In my own home- how dare you take advantage of my daughter you fucking- pig!"
Your eyes were overflowing with tears, the top buttons of your dress were still unbuttoned, and Joel's chest was rising and falling too slowly, much too slowly
"dad"
But he kept going
"dad stop!"
you grabbed his wrist, and the moment his eyes met yours it felt like the word stopped, like it had frozen over.
You caused all that anger, all that pain
But if he just would listen to you...
"y/n"
"dad" your voice trembled as much as your fingers "dad I love him"
You saw his heart break. For all the wrong reasons,
for his poor daughter who was taken advantage of, for the naive, innocent daughter he couldn't protect. For the daughter that didn't exist. Because that wasn't you, that wasn't how things had gone.
"you don't know what you're saying"
His voice was harsh, cruel, cold.
"But I do!" tears ran down your cheeks as you glanced down to where Joel lay, to the cuts and blood coating his face "I love him dad, I really really do"
"You don't know who this man is" he said "The things he's done..." he said with a snarl, as if disgusted, as if the rage was surging from his chest all over again
"I know" you whispered "I know everything- He told me all of it dad, please" you begged "Please just let him go, let him talk"
"I don't need to listen to a word that comes out of this fucker's mouth"
"but dad-"
It was like a bomb went off
"HE'S 56!" he yelled, his grip on Joel's neck tightening "he's fifty fucking six y/n! You just fucking turned 21!" his voice bounced off the walls like thunder, "You're not even half his age!"
"who cares!?" you screamed too now, only your voice was interrupted by sobs 
"I DO!" he roared "Your mom would!" his eyes were wide with urgency, and although he was mad you could still hear the care behind his words "He might have made you think this is ok, that he loves you, but trust me none of it is true" he sighed "He's using you honey, I know it's hard to understand right now, but you- you're young- you don't know-"
Your hand left him, shaking as it went to wipe your tears.
"dad" you said more firmly now "I might be young but I'm not stupid"
"y/n-"
"no" you stopped him "Dad this is the first time I've ever felt this way, like I cannot breathe when he's not close, like I need him more than I need air" you swallowed thickly "And I know- I know it's hard to understand, I know it's easier to just go with the narrative in your head, of the fragile little girl and the big creepy guy, but this-" you took a shaky breath as you glanced at Joel again
His eyes were barely open, he was barely conscious
"This isn't like that" you promised "I- I love him, and he loves me"
"Honey-"
"I'm not done" you stopped him again "I'll never forgive you dad" you shook your head, simply stating the truth "I'll never forgive you if you do this, if you don't even give him a chance to explain, to tell you how things really are"
You saw the conflict in his eyes, the searing pain caused him to hear such words from his daughter, to hear her beg and threaten and speak up all at once,
and yet... yet he couldn't shake off the honesty, the hope lacing your words, your voice, sparkling from your eyes
And so he did the only thing he could,
he agreed, he agreed to hear the full story.
___
That was two years ago now,
and sometimes you wondered if it all was just a bad dream, if your imagination had tricked you into believing some silly made-up story,
but the glares from the people in town always seemed to refresh your memory.
And yes, maybe you would have liked to live a life without people whispering ugly things about you behind your back every day... but then maybe, maybe it was all worth it
For this.
For the child growing in your belly, for the veil on top of your head, for the sound of your dad stifling his sobs beside you, 
for the image of Joel waiting for you at the end of the aisle, for the tears in his eyes, for the smile on his face,
for him, 
for you,
It was all worth it,
Yes, yes it definitely was.
— — —
Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And, no, you can't come to the wedding I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want
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angel-kyo · 2 days
Text
Pay it no mind
Part XVIII
In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).
Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself, and... idk, I didn't mean to put anything warning worthy here, but if you think of something I guess let me know. <3
Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII
----------------------
The days that followed after Satoru told you he liked you, it seemed that everything had gone back to normal and you two were slowly falling back into your usual routine: meeting up early in the mornings, bantering in between classes and missions, and eating lunch with Shoko when all of you were at the school. It was comforting to have things return to how they used to be, or that was what you thought.
“What’s up with him?” Shoko asked across from you.
Satoru had business to attend so he had just left you and Shoko at the table in the cafeteria.
“What do you mean?” you looked in the direction he had gone but could no longer see him.
From your perspective, Satoru had not changed much since that day he walked through the school holding your hand; he had not pressed the subject of whether you liked him back still any further either, and since he appeared to be okay in this grey zone where you two were sitting, you had not brought it up either. However, Shoko, as perceptive as ever, had noticed how Gojo, who always seemed to like your personal space, was moving into it almost permanently these days; how he was not even bothering to be discreet with the way he looked at you or remained by your side when you were in the same room, and how, if he was not careful, it would be evident to everyone pretty soon.
At first, Shoko had believed it was all in her head; since that day, years ago, when she first considered that Gojo could have some kind of crush on you, the notion had prevailed. In fact, she had thought she was looking into her friends’ relationship too much, maybe because none of them seem to pay any mind to how they were perceived, so it was not entirely impossible her eyes were just making her believe what she had accepted as true for so long was finally materializing.
Gojo’s laid-back attitude had been one of the reasons why Shoko doubted he cared seriously about whatever feelings he could have for you. Other than that rocky season in high school and a few other occurrences through the years that followed, Satoru had never taken any steps towards an actual relationship with you. Hence, Shoko thought it's a harmless crush.
But as of lately, he looked more... intent. Or maybe...
He’s losing his grip.
“You’ve never found him annoying, have you?” Your friend looked at her almost empty plate and it somehow reminded you of a similar talk you had had months ago.
“A bunch of times, but I guess I don’t find him too annoying,” you answered.
“Isn’t that all love is about?” Ieiri’s eyes connected with yours.
Her comment caught you off guard, and she might have noticed the way your smile froze because her gaze did not leave yours.
You did the only thing that could think of: laugh it off. “Yeah, I guess, if love is annoying, that is.”
Are you finally annoyed by it, Gojo?
“You tell me.” Shoko smiled and put the last bite of her food in her mouth.
***
“Why won’t she just admit she likes him?” Satoru asked while looking at the movie playing in front of him.
Maybe it was a rhetorical question, but you did not look at him before replying “Because there would have been no movie if they were that direct.”
It was a Friday night and Satoru had made an impromptu proposal to you to have a movie marathon at his place. You had accepted but now, into your first movie of the night, you were having trouble to stay focused on the story, which was supposed to be some sort of romantic comedy, not half as bad as many, but the romantic scenes were making you self-conscious.
You watched the scene where the protagonists had gone from arguing to making out and you felt the need to look somewhere else.
From the corner of your eye, Satoru seemed unimpressed.
He’s unfazed, of course he is.
Actually, Satoru was only calm on the surface. Unbeknownst to you, he had also perceived the change in the air between the two of you when the more intimate scenes started playing. He thought he should have chosen a different film, but suggesting changing it now would only make the unsaid more obvious, so he was sticking it up with the most unexpressive face he could manage as the actors on the screen seemed to melt into each other.
Satoru had not meant anything suggestive by choosing that movie; he had just played the first thing he found as he always did when you had not planned in advance, and under normal circumstances, that would have been fine. You had watched all kinds of films together, including romantic ones, the good and the bad ones, but now…
Satoru was already looking at you when you were about to steal another glance in his direction.
His gaze revealed a question he dared not ask, or rather, a question he had promised himself he would not ask until you were ready.
He was trying to be a good friend, even if he wanted to be more than that. It had took him a while to figure out his feelings, so he had resolved to give you as much time as you needed. Yes, Satoru was convinced he could wait patiently, but…
Is he leaning forward?
At times… His resolve weakened.
“[name]…”
The look he was giving you was that of a kid who wanted to ask for something but did not know how. In his clear eyes, there was need but also fear of being denied.
What is your answer? his eyes were asking.
The winter had also frozen time in your friendship, in this safe spot in Satoru’s place, where you could still be friends and pretend nothing needed to change as it never changed in the years before, not in his apartment nor in your friendship. But time must go on, does it not?
“Satoru...”
His phone rang.
Both of you looked at the phone that was screen-down on the coffee table in front of you, and it seemed to take Satoru a couple of seconds to decide if he wanted to pick it up, but he finally did.
“I’ll be right back.” You got up and went to the kitchen.
Giving him some privacy to take the call was an excuse; part of you just wanted to escape of it all, ask Satoru to take it back, let everything remain as it was, stay in the known, but the other part, the part that had been falling for him all this time wanted to see it through.
Are you in love with him?
For a second, you were back in your living room with Haruki, his question and your answer resonating in your head as you watched the cup of tea travel steady from the table to his lips.
“Some people think knowledge that doesn’t change behavior is worthless,” his eyes did not meet yours, and you did not reply immediately.
“If you knew he liked you, would you act on it?” He had almost finished his cup.
"I don't know," you replied.
Months ago, you had been convinced you wanted to act on your feelings, but now, the idea of change was scary, the idea of trying to later find out it was not what you wanted, was scarier; the idea that you and Satoru would never recover if that happened, was terrifying.
“To change something, you first need to accept the possibility of change, and of course you need to know that those possibilities exist. I guess in that way, that knowledge is not worthless, even if nothing actually comes out of it. We should accept the possibilities.”
His feelings were sudden but if there is a possibility...
“Okay, I can accept that,” you said lowly to yourself.
“You can accept what?” Satoru was looking at you and taking the sodas you had just mindlessly pulled from the fridge from your hands.
The room felt a few degrees warmer with his proximity.
“Nothing, I was just...” Your gaze drifted to the door leading to a small terrace where Satoru had installed a couple chairs to sit on when the weather was nice. He almost never did it though, and you could use some fresh air. “Do you want to go outside?”
A smile played on Satoru’s lips. “Isn’t it cold?”
“Just for a bit.”
That was how you and him needed up outside looking at the city lights. You looked up but it was impossible to see the stars. Satoru mirrored your gesture and then directed his gaze back to the city.
“Do you ever regret it?” he asked.
“Regret what?”
He shrugged. “Staying here, doing what we do, not going somewhere quieter or… somewhere where you could see the stars.” He looked up again and you kept your gaze on him.
Why was he asking that now you did not know, but you answered him honestly.
“I do not regret it.” It was true. Even when you did have the opportunity to do something else or be somewhere else, you chose not to leave. “This is pretty too.”
The lights of a city that never seem to sleep were probably not as fascinating and mystical as the stars that burned millions of light years away, but they had some beauty of their own.
“I guess so,” Satoru agreed, and he wrapped an arm around you, and after some silence he spoke again.
“Aren't you cold?”
You nodded your head. “But can we stay here a little longer?”
And maybe what you really wanted to ask was can we stay like this a little longer?
In any case, Satoru would have given you the same response as he held you tighter.
“Of course.”
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Note: I'll try to proofread... Oh, and sorry about basically disappearing. Thank you a bunch for the kind messages during my silence. <3
Thank you for reading!
@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski
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killemwithkawaii · 2 months
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Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅
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"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕
And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔
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'The bed'-
Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'
Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying
'The floor'-
Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)
Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long
'Secret third thing'-
....???? idk you tell me lol
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monochromatic-ahhhh · 2 years
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I'm so sorry it's so funny to me that there's shipping with Hunter and atleast one of the Blight twins, and their canon first interaction in the show is "looks sickly" and "that's gross"
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szaryherbatnik · 1 year
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Accidentally paused the kiss scene which produced the funniest weirdest dynamic between them
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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alchemiclee · 1 year
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you've heard of cat in the hat, now get ready for
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noisolpxe · 5 months
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getting they/them'd at build-a-bear yesterday was so funny i keep thinking about it
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myriadsystem · 2 months
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#i cant do it i cant any more im worn out!! and i know i have no right to be!#ive been worn out for a long time. i know everyone has. i know i cant take a break from the internet because Palestine still needs coverage#and now with the *drama* happening on tumblr. i dont want to tag it i dont want o be delet but you know the one#feels fucked to even have to call it drama but im one blog. im one little blog and im gonna be devastated if i get got for speaking out#ive had one blog removed by an authority figure it was soul crushing and i only had that one for like 3 years#this is over a decade of my life. if its gone my soul goes with it so i cant risk speakin out in any way that matters or is too conspicuous#but its all just too much. i need to go grocery shopping and it feels hard and bad. i try to come to my one safe place on the internet#to give me courage but its just post after post about more bad news. i saw a photo of a group of soldiers smiling and laughing#about murdering diabled people and taking their walking aides. i know the captions were people saying how horrible those soldiers were#and the active participation in ending diabled lives those soldiers had to take those photos and im just. why was it posted at all#we know the worlds bad. we know. why are you giving these people more publicity. i dont want to see that sickening smile#i just cant any more. i cant deal with anything its all too much its too much on a personal note and its too much internet wide#but i cant complain about it because im not the one being actievly genocided or harrased and i also cant leave because the people who are#need as much support as they can get and i want to support. i want to help#idk idk im crying im stuck i just wanna be able to get groceries but everything real life and internet is too fucking much
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animutate · 6 months
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man i dontthink i can be in a real relationship ever again im just starting to process how everyone has treated me HORRIBLY
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aro-oak · 9 months
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Was watching season 1 of good omens with the loml and thon points out that they really avoided the dear feelings that they have for each other for 6000 years and asked me if I would avoid the feelings for my significant other for 6000 years. Thon doesn't know thon is the loml
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shameboree · 2 years
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lmao idk what it is with you receiving nasty / semi-nasty anons the last days but it is HILARIOUS and i am here for it
irl i play SO STUPID when ppl are mean to me that they eventually, INVARIABLY, just give up entirely. i love to pretend that i dont know people are being deliberately nasty bc it really breaks their weak little esteems down to the GROUND but this does NOT translate online unfortunately so instead i post exclusively the CHOICEST anons who actually make me laugh.
i think honestly people who act up in my asks are just being silly and begging for attention but, like, anons i promise you can just TELL me honestly with your big kid words that you are feeling down and i WILL give u attention!! i worked in childcare for YEARS it is INGRAINED into even into my most meh organs like my spleen to cater to needy little bastards
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jyuanka · 1 year
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"his lips tasted like ice and sin"
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#so ive been reading this mega popular super long fic for a fandom i dont care about for a ship i dont care about (a procrastination method)#anyway ive read too much of it and felt obligated to keep going but i disliked it more with each chapter#coming at it from an emotional distance helped make it something of a mental writing exercise: pull it apart see why and how it works#my envious little writer heart just wants to know (i mean the stats on this bitch were rising in real time)#but i come upon the above sentence and i let out the ugliest laugh#i stop reading the fic just to process the silliness of what i just read#cue later i reopen the tab and my eyes instantly land on that sentence#suffice to say today i am free of that fic#its on me i shouldve stopped reading when the love interest was described as a 'fallen angel of death'#and its like the writer instantly realized what she's done so the next paragraph immediately starts with 'it was a cliche'#yeah girl it is#(love it when an author leaves their mental self-negotiations over a writing choice right there in the published text)#my decision to stop reading even tho im past the halfway point means i no longer have to read about eyebrows 'quirking inquisitively'#altho sometimes the eyebrow quirks questioningly; often curiously; one time it quirked disapprovingly; but its always quirking & so are lip#and people 'roll their jaws' (no i dont know what that means)#its a fanfic so im fine if the love interest smells like 'oakmoss and papyrus' (sillier scents have been sniffed on love interests)#but if you tell me he smells that way more than 7 times in the span of a few chapters i start having objections#given how many times it was mentioned i started wondering if its plot relevant (its not)#i have so many more thoughts but i like writing in the tags because its the tumblr equivalent of muttering out loud to myself#you might ask 'jyu why are you shredding someone else's work' the answer can be found in the words of contemporary philosopher lil nas x:#'i wanna fuck the ones i envy'
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shippudens · 2 years
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smoking is so mean to my strange ambiguously fragile body but i think about it now and again. for her. mary juana.
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quilfish-swan · 2 years
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