#ive been so incredibly insecure with my writing lately | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

primofate · 2 years

Note

OSFISJWJ YES YES YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT I love your writing sm!! You should be proud of it >:(

Can I request reader(any gender you like) to like play a break up prank on the genshin boys? If it's too much you can choose whatever characters you want! I prefer angst to fluff but it's up to you!

Not gonna give too much restrictions so go wild with it!!

Liked this one so I did all of them. lmao. Thanks anon.

Scenario: Break up prank on your Genshin boyfriends

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Ayato, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli, gn!reader

Warnings: slight elements of crackfic, mild angst to comfort, some of these might be a little yandere? used April Fools as an excuse, I don’t actually like playing these kinds of pranks but it’s pretty fun to write, I don’t suggest you do it in real life (but I know a lot of people do, haha. You do you, no judgement here) If my husband pulled this on me I’d go feral, poor him.

Personal favourites in this work: Bennett, Ayato, Dainsleif

What you said

“Have you got some time today...? I just wanted to talk to you about something important. You should probably sit down...Uhm...So...lately...I just feel like things aren’t going too well with the two of us...I just...Maybe we’re not a good match? What I’m saying is...It’s probably best if we part ways here,”

Aether

already gets the “oh crap” vibes as soon as you say you need to talk about something important.

The moment he sits down, his body language tells you he’s incredibly tense and nervous. Hands closed up into fists, brows furrowed, leaning forward to listen to you closely.

It doesn’t really hit him that fast and he has this blank look on his face until you stand up to leave--that’s when he snatches at your wrist.

“W-Wait,” he’s both confused and cautious. Like what he says next might change the whole thing. “Did I--Did I do something wrong? Cause if I did I--” he gulps the lump that’s forming in his throat and his eyes are getting misty. “I’ll make it right, I promise,”

“Oh gosh, Aether, I’m so sorry, it’s just a prank! I’m just joking! I know it’s stupid, but um...April Fools!”

His whole body slumps backwards on the chair while heaving a huge sigh of relief, head lolling backwards. He can only mutter “Y/N don’t do that again...” with a voice that’s a little wobbly.

Give him lots of kisses after please

Albedo

Does not get the vibe you’re trying to give at all.

He actually thought it was something practically “important” like how you might not have enough firewood for the next few days up on Dragonspine. (Yes that merits a serious conversation for him)

When you get to the part where you say you’re not a good match his head tilts the slightest bit sideways but his expression is still blank.

He doesn’t hear the rest of your sentences after that because he’s trying to go through his memories of the past few days and wondering if something was amiss.

He can’t come up with a conclusion because everything was normal up until today.

But he’ll still respect your decision

He’ll look down solemnly at his hands, “...Being with you... was a great privilege.” his hands start to grasp at each other when it sinks in that you want to leave the relationship. “Perhaps you’ll find a better match than I could ever be,”

Basically you’ve struck his secret insecurity that he might not be good enough for you.

Get down on your knees and apologize this instant!!!!!!

“Oh, Albedo... That’s not... It’s just a joke, it’s April Fools today dear... Do you really think that way? I’m so sorry...”

Cue a long conversation that got deep because of a prank. You reassure him he’s more than enough for you and you don’t stop telling him all the wonderful things you love about him until his eyes subtly light up again.

that might have backfired on you.

Ayato

He’s so used to business negotiations or the ‘sit down and lets talk business’ scenario so he didn’t think much of it.

He listens closely. I mean CLOSELY. It’s his job to negotiate with others so he has to clearly listen to what all the parties have to say for themselves.

When you get to the “maybe we’re not a good match part” he lifts a hand to his chin and lets out a hum.

He closes his eyes for a moment, his face is still calm, like he heard nothing at all. But then he decides to question YOU. “You say that we’re not a good match. Though, you say it with uncertainty,” smiles pleasantly at you “Care to tell me the reasons why you think we aren’t a good match, dove?”

You really thought you could argue with this guy lmao

So you grasp at straws and tell him the first thing you can think of. “W-Well... You’re an important man and I’m...just plain old me,” you laugh nervously because you’ve accidentally opened up about your honest insecurity.

But he considers that seriously. He asks you another question, “But do you love me?”

“Yes?”

“And I feel the same way. Where there is true love, nothing should be allowed to stand in its way...On the contrary, my love, you’re far from plain,” his hand moves away from his chin to graze his fingertips on your cheek. “You are...quite extraordinary. I only wish you could see yourself through my eyes,”

You’ve forgotten that you played a prank and just fell harder for the guy

No but he definitely knew something was up anyway.

Bennett

He thought that you just wanted to say you didn’t wanna join his adventure team anymore

So when you finish your whole speech his mouth is left slightly agape and he’s staring at you trying to process the moment.

“...I-It’s just the adventuring, right? If you’re tired of going out all the time you can always rest up! That’s no big deal! I can go by myself from time to time!” He raises a fist to pump himself up but he only manages a small, uncertain smile.

“No? That’s not it? Oh...” His whole mood goes down and it’s like a gloomy cloud has set atop his head.

“Well... I was thinking my luck was running out anyway... You know? Hehe,” He still picks his head up and scratches the back of it with a wobbly smile. “I mean, I’ve been so incredibly lucky all that time just spending it with you! I guess...that whole chunk of luck is just coming back at me with a whole chunk of bad...”

As a last effort, he gives you the brightest, still genuine smile that radiates love. “But it was great, it was really great! I loved it and...and...I love--” his voice breaks off at the end and he tries so hard not to cry and you quickly explain to him that it was all just a joke for April Fools.

“R-Really?” but his tears have already spilled out and is falling down his cheeks. He sniffles and wipes them dry while saying with a trying hard not to break voice “You--You really got me there!”

(Everytime I write for Bennett it always has something to do with his bad luck and adventuring. I’m sorry.)

Chongyun

Scared. Like literally hands trembling scared the moment you say it’s important in that serious voice.

Serious eyes that are boring into you as you speak. They slowly soften around the edges when you come to your conclusion.

It’s like his heart shatters. He’s a somewhat shy and reserved guy that takes a while to warm up, so it literally shakes his whole world when you, someone who had been so patient with him up until this point, wants to break up with him.

“I...” He wants to be mature and say he’ll accept your decision but he can’t even form the words.

“I understand,” but his eyes are already filling up with tears and they start to cascade down his cheeks even with him not blinking.

Has more of a physical response than a wordy response. Hands crumpling his pants as he grips at them and tries to keep his bearings.

You can’t take it and apologize immediately, wiping away his tears and telling him it’s all just a joke, but he continues crying, dips his head down, puts an arm to shield his eyes as he tries to get his composure back.

“S-Sorry, I...That really scared me...”

You’re mean.

Dainsleif (might contain 2.6 quest spoilers)

Troubled, because you rarely say that it’s something important. You don’t usually draw attention to yourself so when you say that it’s something of importance Dainsleif is all ears.

Dainsleif is...quite alone, in some senses. He doesn’t think that anyone should suffer with him, so accepting that you wanted to stay by his side was also a hard decision for him. He resisted for a long time, but eventually just realized you really wanted to be there for him.

So when you come around saying this, he’s almost offended, eyes narrowing at you “Where is this coming from?”

He just doesn’t get it and it doesn’t add up. His eyes searches yours and he’s not trying to be scary but he does exude some intimidating vibes. He’s merely trying to understand if he did something wrong or if you’ve always thought that the two of you were “not a good match”.

“...I don’t think that what you say is true...If so then you wouldn’t have insisted to stay with me,” and he starts to doubt whether or not he made the right decision, letting you accompany him to journey’s end.

You see the conflict and battle in his eyes and decide to just tell him it’s a prank without it getting too far.

He huffs and crosses his arms above his chest. “I thought so... You wouldn’t do something...so foolish,” his words are spaced out because there’s still a bit of doubt in him and you catch on to it, reassuring him that you don’t have any intention of leaving him at all.

He sighs and gingerly thumbs your cheek. “I can only hope so... This curse...This burden...I daresay it’s made easier with your presence. Let me be selfish this once and ask you to stay...”

Diluc

He trusts and knows you, so when you said it was something important he merely thought it was just you talking about being worried about his health again cause he works too hard (you often tell him that)

But when you start talking and get to the end of your speech he’s rather astounded and concerned more than anything.

“How long have you felt like that?” He takes this to a whole new level of serious now. Asking himself questions like ‘How did I not notice?’ ‘Which parts can I do better at?’ ‘Could we not have talked about this before it came to this conclusion?”

Reaches out with his hand to move your chin at an angle convenient for him. “Y/N, look at me. We should talk about these things before jumping to conclusions. A lot of things can be solved by talking,”

In truth he’s panicking a little inside. What if you don’t want to talk about it anymore? What if your mind is made up? What if that’s it?

“Is there anything we can do to make things better? Has my recent sleepless nights bothered you that much? I’ll change things around to make you comfortable. You’re right, it hasn’t really done much for my health...”

When you don’t reply to anything he says there’s a bit of defeat in his eyes and his shoulders slump a little. “Y/N please...” he just wants you to say something. Anything.

“U-Uhm...Well...April Fools!”

There’s 5 seconds of silence before he drops his hand from your chin and glares at you. It’s half mocking, half real and he stands up to walk away “I’m going back to work,”

Is a little salty but you follow him around all day and suck up to him saying sorry in a sweet way and that you’ll make it up to him.

(Okay, I wanted to use the Filipino word “lambing” just then. lmao. Is there an English equivalent, my Filo friends?)

Gorou

Military minded, so he doesn’t immediately think it’s about something personal.

When it dawns on him that it’s about something personal, and what more, it’s about your relationship with him, he freezes up. His ears stop twitching and his tail is frozen.

His body language changes, he suddenly doesn’t look so confident and his whole body droops. His ears start to flatten down.

“Were you...Were you really that unhappy? I didn’t even realize...” so much regret in his voice and he’s more worried about you than he is over himself.

“I’m sorry, it might be too late to ask now but, is there anything I can do? I’ll...try my best! I just... I just don’t agree...I think we ARE a great match! But if you don’t think so...” hesitates back and forth whether or not to see things your way or keep with his beliefs.

He really does think you’re the perfect companion to his otherwise busy life and you’re a delight to be around.

He doesn’t really say much about what he thinks, opting to think before talking but his look says it all and you apologize after telling him it was just a prank.

He blinks up at you. His ears start to twitch again and his tail swishes every so slowly. “O-Oh! I see!”

Breaks into a bashful, neck scratching grin. “R-Right! It’s April Fools! Wow, you got me good on that one,”

Doesn’t tell you that you basically broke his heart and mended it back together all in a span of a minute.

Is secretly 1000% more attentive towards you

Itto

The word “important” is not really in his vocabulary...Well, it is, but it’s linked with things like beetle fights and food.

So he thought you were just gunna talk beetle fight strategy with him. lol.

Has this huge smile on his face when you start talking and it just gradually droops into a deep frown.

Still tries to play it off. “Whaaaat? No way! We’re a great match! Remember that time we accidentally ordered the exact same thing for lunch, drinks and all? That was pretty cool!”

Grins but it falters when you don’t say anything. He finally properly thinks about you actually leaving him. “I--At least we can still be friends, right? I mean, who’s gunna hype me up during my beetle fights now? My gang...? Well, yeah... they’re great and all but...”

Lips start to tremble. “Th-They’re not you, you know? It’s different! Huh? No! It’s not just about the beetle fights!”

He has this puppy dog look on his face now “I mean, it’s all the other things too! Who-Who’s gunna kiss my hand better when I accidentally hit a boulder too hard? O-Or...”

Goes silent, then suddenly decides to man up...but in a childish way...

“Y-You know what! Fine! If that’s what you want then...then...” but can’t finish his sentence and his lips are really starting to tremble dangerously.

So you decide to put him out of his misery and tell him it’s a joke.

“April fools...?” He looks up at you, still trying to process it...and then he breaks into a watery eyed wide smile. “APRIL FOOLS!!!” like he just discovered something great.

He manages not to shed any tears but wraps his arms tight around your waist and snuggles into your stomach while he’s sitting down. “You can’t go for real, alright?”

Kaeya

Amused and intrigued in a “What do they have up their sleeve this time?” sort of way.

He crosses his arms midway through your speech and gives you this smirk while tilting his head sideways. As if challenging you.

“Oh dear, what an unfortunate problem we have here indeed,” he chuckles, but its not laced with humor, more of mischief.

“Not a good match you say?” He leaves his seat and saunters over to you fluidly, confidently wrapping an arm around your waist and dipping his head lower, to come face to face and almost forehead to forehead with you.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that again, kitten,” he breathes out and you have a hard time repeating your words at the sudden proximity.

“There isn’t a better match for me anywhere in this world, Y/N. I’m afraid you’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me,” he chuckles genuinely this time, as if thoroughly amused.

You finally tell him it’s an April Fool’s joke and he just shrugs. “I figured. I’d like to think I’ve taken good enough care of you to make you stay for a lifetime, love.”

He presses a kiss on your forehead, “Now to worry about charming you in the next one,” and he winks.

Kazuha

calm, curious with a bit of an optimistic view. The type to go “I wonder what they want to tell me today,” but smile at the thought rather than be overly worried about it.

So when he hears your speech, he’s taken aback. You sound so serious too! Is it a mistake? Maybe a joke? But you wouldn’t joke about this, would you?

He’s been lost in thought for a while so you ask him if he heard you.

He places his gaze on you with a small smile. “My apologies, dear,” he’s still calm about it but he’s secretly thinking of ways to solve this without having you walk away.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to learn about your thought process a little more. What aspect do you feel is “not going too well”, if you mind me asking?”

You answer generically and tell him that you feel like he’s too good for you and that he’s extremely kind and loving while you’re not really able to contribute or give him anything.

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second but mellows off to a gentle gaze. “...You have done...a thousand more than I have for you, my love,” He closes his eyes, as if he’s sailing on a ship peacefully. “You’ve kept the nightmares away, the...solitude that used to visit me every night. Instead of waiting for the day to end, with you, I always look forward to its beginning instead,”

He opens his eyes and you see that they’re a little glassy. “So if you could just find it in your heart to reconsider, Y/N, perhaps we can work it through?”

He’s still polite than ever and you tell him it’s just a joke. His face stays passive, but he actually breathes out a sigh of relief. “Ah...I see...It’s that day today...”

He finally finds it in him to chuckle. “Well, I must say that you caught me unprepared for that one,”

Razor

You hesitate to even try and do this to him because explaining what you want to say and then telling him it’s a joke sounds to be something that might be gravely misunderstood by him.

But he understands and the moment you finish talking you can already see his face contort into a wince. Like something had just stabbed him painfully in the gut.

His face scrunches up but he bows his head to hide it from you and tears just non-stop cascade from his eyes to the ground.

“I...n-never see... Y/N again?”

The poor thing is more of an action than words type of person and it shows easily that he’s upset.

You immediately hug him and try to explain to him the occasion today but he still pouts and is slightly upset the rest of the day, complaining about how it’s not a good joke at all.

You agree with him and ask how you can make it up to him.

He simply asks you to stay forever.

Scaramouche

unbothered. sits down as if he’s the boss of the conversation and just stares at you through the whole thing.

When you finish, he smirks.

And it’s not just a normal smirk. It’s the go-ahead-and-try-running-away-from-me-im-just-gunna-pull-you-right-back-over smirk.

“Who put that nonsense into your head?” Raises an eyebrow and gazes at you, wondering if someone has told you that dating him was a bad idea or some crap like that. (He doesn’t deny that it’s a bad idea but you’ve stuck with him for a while now and you suddenly saying that is weird and extremely annoying to him)

He’s basically pissed off.

“Tch, go ahead if that’s what you want,” then attempts to stand and ignore you to walk away. You stop him and gape up at him. “What? That’s it? You’re just gunna walk away?”

He raises his eyebrow at you again. “I don’t have time to be playing these types of games, Y/N. If you don’t want to stay, then go,”

In truth he might be a little, teeny, tiny, secretly hurt inside and is salty.

You huff and tell him “It’s an April Fools joke!”

He stares at you for a good moment, then flicks your forehead really, REALLY hard. “Owww! What’s that for??”

He scoffs “For thinking of a stupid joke like that, and to remind you who you belong to, fool,” before walking away.

Turns back 5 seconds later and snatches your hand to pull you along with him.

Tartaglia

More curious than worried. So he sits down with that slight wide-eyed, ‘I’m all ears’ type of look.

He blinks and looks at you incredulously as you finish. Then, a laugh escapes his lips. It’s a strange laugh. A mixture of amused, dark and forced.

“Darling you’re...joking, right?” has a pleasant smile on his face but you can’t tell what he’s thinking.

He’s probably thinking of some ways to keep you with him, no matter the method and then he suddenly feels sentimental, thinking about that time you visited his family with him and his siblings loved you to death.

You haven’t said anything so he continues down that hole and proceeds to think about how long it took him to find someone who embraced his craziness and chaotic life like you did.

He gets a little fidgety and instead of actually wanting to force you to stay he gives you the respect he thinks you deserves. “Y/N I... I understand it well... I don’t want you to be caught up in certain things either but...Just let me tie up some loose ends and maybe...”

but then he knows it in himself than being with him might cause a lot of trouble for you, he doesn’t really know what’ll happen in the future, what with his affiliation with the Fatui and the Abyss.

“...I promise I’ll protect you,” he doesn’t beg for you to stay but he looks at you with pleading eyes. So you tell him it’s an April Fools joke.

He blinks and opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it again. Doesn’t know whether to feel sad or annoyed but in the end he sighs and gives you a grin. “A joke like that deserves some sort of punishment, love. Let’s see... what would be a fitting one,”

He looks like he’s having fun all of a sudden.

Thoma

Definitely worried to the point of anxiousness.

Thoma is used to multi-tasking, he always has a few things in his mind that he needs to juggle but when you say something like that he might be the type to not be able to focus on anything until you finally have the conversation.

He’s stunned when he hears your whole statement and definitely turns sullen. He suddenly starts to think about your time together, from the first date all up until today, it’s been a long journey and he begins to imagine walking through life without you.

He gets goosebumps at the thought of it. “I...I don’t think I can...live that way,” he gulps and continues. “Excuse me if this is too heavy of a statement for you but...I’ve always thought of you as the one I’d spend my whole life with, just suddenly losing that isn’t...”

It’s like your life with him just flashes by in his eyes, remembering all the good times, the smiles, the laughs and just the limitless love he has for you. “...I can’t accept it just like that... I don’t have the right to ask you to stay and you can walk away but...” and he gazes at you with extreme determination. “...but I’ll come looking for you again, and I’ll prove to you that there isn’t anyone else in this world that I’d rather be with,”

He smiles but it’s rather downtrodden and painful. “It’ll always be you, Y/N,”

Cue you telling him it’s a joke “Ahaha...Well... April Fools!”

He immediately slumps forward and buries his face in his hands and gives a deep sigh. You repeatedly apologize as he does this.

He straightens up after a moment and gives you his sternest look ever (it just looks like he’s scolding you but he’s not very menacing at all because he’s a little teary eyed.)

“Out of all the things you could joke about...” he sighs again but draws you in and smiles tenderly, instantly forgiving you. “Just a kiss from you, love, and I’ll forget about it,”

Venti

Hears the word “important” and thinks that this might be a conversation that needs dandelion wine.

“Okay!” Still has that playful lilt to his voice, but will take it as seriously as he can.

He listens to what you have to say and he becomes quiet. His smile disappears and he moves his gaze away from you towards somewhere faraway. “...You know, Y/N... Mondstadt is the City of Freedom,”

He’s unusually soft and quiet when speaking, a serious undertone to his voice. “I’ve seen...all of you. The good, the bad... I may be a God, but I’m the God of Freedom so asking you to stay is...not something I can do, even if I want to,”

Nods his head optimistically with a smile that looks genuine, “Besides, someone as special as you...the world deserves to see it. Keeping you by my side...they’re missing out on a lot, ehe,”

He does sound sincere and doesn’t sound bitter about it at all but you can’t help but feel sad about it. You apologized and tell him it’s a joke for April Fools.

He’s surprised, but mostly because he nearly felt as if tears were upon him and it’d been a long time since he shed tears.

But he emphasizes that he’s not joking and if there ever came a time that you’d really like to go, you’re free to do so.

You remind him that you don’t want to and he finally gets his usual laugh back.

“Well for that, you owe me a lifetime’s supply of dandelion wine!”

He’s looking forward to the “lifetime” part more than the “dandelion wine” part.

Xiao

This is someone who usually doesn’t open up to people, but he did for you and you’re coming around telling him you don’t want to be together anymore after he’s lowered down all his walls. Think about that.

He gets angry and it’s obvious. His eyebrows are drawn together and there’s a scowl on his face. He feels utterly betrayed. Thousands of years he decided to shelter himself because he thought that associating with others would bring them no good, and the one time he accepts someone in, they go barreling right out just as easily as that.

“What emotion does it stir in you, when you make crass statements like that?” you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of him.

“It didn’t mean a thing to you, the burden I shared... The sides of me that...I’ve forgotten was ever there,” he curls his fist tight “I should’ve known...”

Oh, man, you might have messed up playing that prank on him but you immediately drop it and tell him it’s an April Fools joke.

He recognizes the event cause he’s heard people talking about it before but he definitely disappears and doesn’t show up in front of you for the rest of the day.

Knowing Xiao, you give him his space and eventually he seeks you out again but you’re terribly guilty once that happens and you apologize to him profusely.

He stays silent and hums a little, drawing you in for a one armed embrace muttering about the foolish pranks mortals play on each other.

“...My karmic debt is incredibly heavy, Y/N... yet...the thought of losing you...seemed heavier than the karmic debt I’ve carried for years.”

Xingqiu

Just a simple curiosity. Wondering what might be so important.

He’s at a loss of words when you finish, the book he’s holding slips from his grasp and he’s weirdly unable to form proper words.

He adores you, and suddenly getting told this is like a splash of water to his face.

“Is it--Is there--” he pauses and clears his throat to get his composure back. “Is there something unsatisfactory? Perhaps...” he doesn’t even know what to say, he genuinely thought the two of you had enjoyed each other’s company up till today. “Perhaps I...have overlooked something? I’d be more than willing to discuss it,”

When you say it’s not that and you just think the relationship has run its course he’s back to being speechless.

“N...No? But...” there were no signs at all, he wanted to say and he was confident that he would’ve been able to spot it if there were any signs. “...I might not be the...most likeable person... but I assure you that with me, you’ll always come first,”

You tell him its a joke and he immediately relaxes, he kind of sensed that there was something weird about the suddenness of it anyway. It was too out of the blue.

However, he coughs into his hand to hide his embarrassment and asks you to make it up to him. You ask him how and he hands you the book he dropped. “Read this to me, will you, my sunshine?”

Zhongli

He puts great value in the things you say, so when you say it’s important he merely takes it as a sign to be more attentive.

You finish and you cannot read any expression on his face whatsoever. However, he seems to have stopped drinking his tea and is in deep thought, looking away from you and over to the teapot, just keeping his gaze there.

“...Zhongli?” You softly call him back and his eyes fly towards you.

“Mm,” he simply lets out, and closes his eyes. “Might I tell you how I feel about this, Y/N?”

You nod your head and let him speak.

“I...was under the impression that everything had been progressing well, between the two of us...” he touches the rim of his teacup but doesn’t put it up to his lips. “I apologize, if that hadn’t been the case on your side...and I apologize further that...you seem to be unhappy with the current state of things...”

He closes his eyes and continues, “...Truthfully, I would not like it to end this easily... Your importance to me is far higher than that of just a few words... Beloved, if you’re not opposed to it... allow me to work through this a little longer with you...”

He opens his eyes again and there isn’t anything there but respect and gentleness. You can’t help but smile and apologize to him, telling him it’s a joke.

He doesn’t breathe out any sigh of relief but on closer look, his shoulders relax and he goes back to lifting his tea cup to his lips and gets a big gulp out of it. “Ah, I see...I’ve forgotten the occasion today...” seems to brush it off but adds after a few seconds later “But if there is something amiss, do not make a habit of keeping it to yourself, darling,”

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yeluki · 2 years

Note

hey hey heyy, can i get a keqing and ganyu (separate) fic/headcanons (a mix of both, just whichever is easier!) where they have a low self-esteemed significant other? where significant other may be a procrastinator but still gets everything needed done before deadline, but since their partner is an incredibly diligent worker, they feel quite bad of themselves? like they need to do better & etc.

i guess this is some sort of comfort request lol, im sorry. ive just been stressed out of my mind and feeling very inadequate. ( ; ; )

thanks if you end up doing this request! just take your time, theres no rush <3 take care, have a good day/evening! :)

KEQING + GANYU COMFORT SCENARIOS/HEADCANONS

a/n: aww,, of course you can, my dear!! firstly, i apologize if these hcs are not satisfactory; im still getting used to writing for keqing and ganyu. second, I hope your stress decreases and you begin to feel better! you're awesome. keep up your good work <33! ilysm <33 /p

characters included: keqing and ganyu (seperate)

warnings: mentions of stress + insecurities, but mostly fluff!!

work utc!

#ganyu !?

you're feeling down? no worries!! ganyu is there. <3

ganyu isn't the best comforter, but she's trying her best. she'll try to help by doing stereotypical things,, like bringing you blankets, food, and pillows. if keeping yourself busy and/or doing something fun is what helps relieve your stress,, she'd be happy to bake with you, if you really want.

she might be a bit self-conscious of her weight, but she's willing to put those insecurities to the side for a bit. you need her right now, and you're her first priority.

I will admit though, ganyu does get pretty stressed FOR you when you're about to miss a deadline,, but you always seem to swoop in and finish it the night before, don't you? you amaze her, honestly. teach her how to do it.

ganyu is very insecure too, so she understands you. she'll be just as patient with you and your troubles as you are with her and her troubles, so please be careful with her, she's practically made of glass.

speaking of which, that's how ganyu treats you. like you're a precious piece of glass art to be put into a museum. she'll cook and clean for you sometimes too!!

she doesn't mind your insecurities either. she's trying really hard to work on her own self-esteem,, so why not work your insecurities out with her? help each other out! reassure each other!! the list goes on and on <33

ganyu is also a very very diligent worker, so you guys practically fit hand in hand! you'd probably work for the Qixing with her (hopefully you do!!), so she'll sometimes spend lunch breaks with you if you're not still working.

#keqing !?

now with keqing, this is where things get more interesting.

keqing is much more complex than ganyu, so you'll have more of a twisty ride.

keqing, like ganyu, is also very insecure. she'll need reassurance at times just as much as you.

she also totally freaks out over your working habits. all she really cares about is that you do your work, but she doesn't wanna have to fire you because of how long it takes you to finish things.

keqing, like ganyu, will also attempt to help you with your self-esteem issues!! she'll 100% offer you help anytime you need some good old confidence.

she does admire your ability to sweep things together in one night, though. she kinda envy's you. you get all that time for relaxation and easy work lol

just don't stay up too late working on assignments, or else you'll have to deal with not ONLY an angry keqing, but also an angry ningguang :'P

91 notes · View notes

notnctu · 4 years

Text

through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy.

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever.

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now.

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly.

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft.

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic.

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at.

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful.

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man.

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises.

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely.

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.”

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.”

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated.

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not.

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him.

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed.

“Why do you take nude photography?”

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.”

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills.

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.”

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.”

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you.

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly.

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male.

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.”

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.”

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.”

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them.

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

Monday, 3:03 PM.

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness.

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin.

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly.

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s.

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight.

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down.

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears.

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece.

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you.

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?”

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence.

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you.

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission.

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.”

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.”

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?”

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.”

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.”

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you.

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world.

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small.

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it.

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.”

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand.

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture.

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent.

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently.

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier.

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground.

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.”

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.”

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin.

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one.

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying.

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth.

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.”

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines.

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you.

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.”

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist.

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago.

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset.

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul.

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim.

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock.

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again.

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately.

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before.

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.”

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song.

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed.

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit.

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button.

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were.

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you.

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.”

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details.

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture.

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.”

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?”

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.”

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him.

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.”

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.”

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

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I come here for words of wisdom. Every time I read a fanfic about Bakugou being a fuckboy I normally laugh it off because it sounds ridiculous in my mind, although sharing this thought with other people made me realize that some actually think he might be in the future???? So, I want your honest opinion. Not just about that, but I'd genuinely love to know your input on how Bakugou would be in his late-teens, early adulthood, before (for the sake of it) meeting X and settling. Would he sleep around? Would he try for a relationship and fail? What would fail? What would make him settle? Would he really just focus on hero work and that's it? So. Many. Questions.

Hope everything is going great for you. I haven't been on tumblr much (am I the only one noticing the insane wave of wattpad writing here??? p.o.v. and all??????) but I've been following your stuff, and as always, it's incredible. 💞💕

PLS - okay this is so nice to see bc i’ve actually been taking a break from tumblr/writing for the past month. (mental refresh u kno?) aND YESTERDAY I CAME BACK AND SCROLLED THRU MY DASH AND SAW WATTPAD STUFF JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

i was shocked. aghast. completely bewildered. pls i even caved and searched up bakugou fics just to see if everyone else is treating him like that,, and like i dont even know why i did that, because ofc i knew the answer was gonna be yes!! the answer is always yes !!! like i just saw so many fics of him as such a “ooo daddy dom badboy bakugou 🥴🥴” and like why???? bakugou is such a frickin nerd?? and thats sooooooo funny?? whY STRIP HIM OF HIS COMEDIC POTENTIAL ???

but yes yes specifically about bakugou being a fuckboy..... yeah i have no idea where the fuck they get that from. like- did we watch the same show???? sex and especially being naked are such vulnerable things at their core, and they rlly think Mr. Anti-Vulnerability is gonna be the one to sleep around??? to willingly put himself into a vulnerable situation time and time again?? no. pls. c’mon y’all. sometimes i think even todoroki would be more likely.

and just- to sleep around you have to be very comfortable showing interest in other people, over and over and over again. and i just- bakugou doesn’t even admit that his friends are his friends???? and somehow they think that suddenly he’s gonna go around telling people “hey. i like you. and by admitting that to you, i am therefore giving you a slight bit of power over me.”

i- no. he’d never. period, end of story. he would rather be fuckin’ dead. so the answer is no, as he currently is, i cannot for the life of me see why he’d ever become a fuckboy. he just doesn’t have it in him lmaoooooo

ooo but about the what makes him settle question- THANK YOU IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

okay so how i see it, is bakugou is probably totally and completely fine being alone up until his like mid 20’s. sure he thinks maybe it’d be nice to have somebody, but he works so hard that it’s always a fleeting feeling. but then he gets a little older, settles into his spot on the rankings (#3 btw, im soRRY kats but its the truth!!) and watches all his friends get into meaningful relationships. and then, a few more years down the line (think late 20’s/ early 30’s) he’ll be sitting back and being like “shit. i don’t have anybody like that. somebody who’s just for me. who’d pick me first always.”

and i think that is what he wants most of all. i mean, he’s clearly chock-full of insecurities related to that idea, and i cant imagine him ever settling without that need being fufilled. like, i think eventually he’ll probably abandon the idea of being #1 hero, but he’ll still keep that dream of being #1 somehow. so once he finds somebody that always has his back, always puts up with his shit and still loves him at the end of it?? still looks at him with stars in their eyes day after day??? pls. mans is putty and will never even dream of leaving

but that being said- i dont think he’s gonna find The One on first try. i think he’ll be aiming for that, but i cant see it working out. even when he starts seriously dating around his mid 20s, i think he’ll still be too caught up with his hero work. it’ll take him a good few years and one/two failed relationships to finally find a balance that works for him and whoever he ends up with

@i-need-air tysm for asking,,,, clearly i have a lot of thoughts and i love him sm so this was so fun!!!!!! i loved this ask ty!!!!

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou ask #bnha #mha

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mallowstep · 2 years

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wait im so glad you want clan beauty standards bc this is something ive been wanting so bad (and i plan on introducing it in my own writing bc it's such an interesting concept). i feel like tortoiseshells would definitely be considered "hot" lmao (spottedleaf and her consequences) while black (brown) mackerel tabbies specifically would be seen as average since it's v common w feral cats. solid white would be "ugly" for practical reasons like hunting camouflage- idk just my personal hc lol

oh yeah i've had beauty standards for ages. they don't often come up because i'm not often talking about what cats find attractive xd but like they do now and then. someone pointed out to me that dove is a really pretty cat in riverclan. she'd b prettier if she was a tabby but that's alright. she's still the cutest kitty <3

this current round of thought was inspired by...

"He didn't do anything," Featherpaw admits. "Or...well, I don't think he meant to do anything." Her tail sweeps across the ground. "I just, uh..." It feels so silly when she has to say it out loud. I used to be pretty, she thinks, and against Stonefur's death and everything else they've been through, it feels petty. "It's my fault. I'll apologize."

featherpaw having some insecurities, so i've focused more on body types than pelts, but...

i think thunderclan finds torties (specifically torties, bc of brindling) beautiful (something something poetic fall leaves), and riverclan...varies. riverclan values strong contrast, which is true in some torties (esp. calicos), but not others (more brindled). windclan and shadowclan i'm not Quite sure of yet bc i don't have as good a handle on them yet.

as for your standard issue cat (black/"brown" mackerel tabby), that's not anyone's ideal but other than maybe (?) windclan, it's not strictly ugly. riverclan leans hard for silver tabbies, but in thunderclan it's pretty close to the ideal.

thunderclan values like. being functional. so distinctive pelts are not attractive. they mock riverclan for that lmao. this is probably the most sourced-in-canon headcanon here. so that's why they like classic tabbies.

white is...somewhat ugly in thunderclan, but not the other clans. it's a pretty colour in riverclan, and like. white cats don't exactly stay white. plus winter hunting advantage. windclan hunts mostly w speed, so it's a neutral colour (but rare anyway), and shadowclan...eh i'm still not sure. they're tricky bc like. i don't have any cats i've decided are shadowclan-attractive.

like for thunderclan, i've got firestar, tigerclaw, brindleface, spottedleaf, and so on. riverclan, i use silverstream (& feathertail, they look very similar), leopardstar, and oakheart. windclan's got crowfeather (but he's incredibly sexy to every clan so he doesn't Really count), heathertail, and tallstar (blame solacefruit for making me go "like every cat is gay for this scrawny ass motherfucker").

but i don't have ANYONE for shadowclan.

i digress.

ANYWAY don't take this as saying No to your headcanons or anything, we love all headcanons here <3 i just wanted to take any excuse to expand on mine.

i try to think of Clan Values wrt beauty standards. thunderclan is function over form. riverclan is abt...beauty for beauty's sake. windclan is very communal. shadowclan is. ??? pious??? fuck i have to figure out so much for shadowclan gdi.

anyway yeah this is something i've already had but've been trying to develop a bit more lately.

#mine #ask #frondscratch

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fallin-4-ya · 3 years

Text

Masterlist ☾

fred weasley

oneshots

would you shut up and listen!☆ /// summary -you’re feeling a bit down after hearing some nasty comments, good thing your boyfriend fred weasley is always there to save the day.

when i think of you ♡ /// summary- as time passes y/n and fred find themselves completely in love with each other, but there just never seems to be a moment where they both have the courage to do so.

three rules ☆ /// summary- being best friends with ginny weasley came with three unbreakable rules, the main focus of them being no dating her brothers. so, naturally it was inevitable that the most infamous rule breaking weasley caught her eyes.

the wind felt different♡ /// summary- a year after the war has passed, pain still lingers in the air. y/n, a descendant of seers who runs a small divination shop in diagon alley, still is unable to shake her loss. but when she gets a vision of the man who saved her life, the wind takes matters into its own hands.

how to keep fred weasley at bay ft. the only person who can /// summary- when ron needs a break from fred's pranks, he needs someone to keep the trickster at bay, and there's only one person right for the job. Fred's girlfriend.

series

from me to you: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 /// summary- being from france yourself, you loved writing letters to those back in your home country. but, what happens if your letters are interjected, and someone begins writing in your pen pal’s place?

8am potions: part i, part ii ♡ /// summary: fred weasley did not like morning classes, especially if that class was potions. but when he gets to know a beautiful girl in 8am potions, his perspective changed.

headcannons

fred weasley x hufflepuff!reader ♡

fred weasley x ravenclaw!girlfriend ☆

fred weasley x long haired!girlfriend

fred weasley x ravenclaw!reader

george weasley

oneshots

a guy like me ☆ /// summary- when you found out your boyfriend cheated, you were surprised to find that your friend, george weasley, was more mad about it than you were.

tell me how you really feel ☆♡ /// summary- when you found out your boyfriend cheated, you were surprised to find that your friend, george weasley, was more mad about it than you were.

extraordinary ♡/ // summary- george is feeling insecure lately, but luckily y/n is always around to tell him just how extraordinary he is.

stronger than you think ☆/// summary- after george was tackled to the ground by the most beautiful girl in the world, the quidditch prodigy and the legendary sister of victor krum was the last person he’s thought he’d be falling for.

cedric diggory

oneshots

precautionary purposes ☆ /// summary- you and cedric have been best friends for years; but ever since ginny suggested you dip your toes into the dating world, you find your dates becoming more and more horrible without explanation.

if i had the courage ☆ /// summary- y/n was a confident, self assured girl with a heart of gold. however, cedric diggory found it hard to be near her without getting weak in the knees and becoming shy as ever.

spilled amortentia /// summary- y/n and cedric diggroy hated each other, but when things finally start to turn around for the two some secrets about some spilt amortentia will be confessed.

eavesdropping ♡☆ /// summary: at the Quidditch World Cup, y/n meets cedric diggory, who sweeps her right off her feet. but little do they know, her friends are watching the scenes unfold and have a lot to say on the matter.

series

but beautiful♡part i, part ii, part iii ///summary- life wasn’t particularly easy being the older sister of draco malfoy, but a certain boy from hufflepuff had the power to make all her troubles melt away.

the follies and voices of you♡ part i, part ii, part iii, part iv, part v, epilogue /// summary- being the beloved sister of the incredibly wealthy Mr.Potter, you felt no need to rush into marriage. But one day, when you came to meet a new acquaintance, the proud Mr. Diggory, your views of love and follies change

neville longbottom

oneshots

yes, you can /// summary- neville has trouble casting his patronus, but what he doesn’t know is that he was the only reason that you could cast yours.

headcannons

neville longbottom x asking the reader on a date

taking neville to disneyland for the first time

guide~

authors favorite ♡

requested ☆

(note- this lost includes all of my completed works. this is a safe space for all individuals. thank you for reading and enjoy. see you someplace magical)

#Harry Potter #fred weasley #george weasley #cedric diggory #Neville Longbottom #fred weasley x reader #george wealsey x reader #cedric diggory x reader #neville longbottom x reader

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coconutstars · 3 years

Text

Right people at the wrong time p.II

Part I Part III Part IV

Pairing: Stiles + reader Prompt: Perhaps, we were the right people at the wrong time Summary: Two years has passed and reader is back in Beacon Hill. She has neither spoken nor seen Stiles (or Scott for that matter) since the huge fight. But we all know Beacon Hills is a small town and BH high is an even smaller school so yeah, shit’s about to go down. A/N: Sooo...This fic is going to be so much longer than I'd initially anticipated. There’s so much I want to squeeze in. I love writing it though and hopefully y’all love reading it. I’m thinking there’s probably going to be 1? possibly 2? more parts. We’ll see. Depends if you guys want a continuation. Enjoy, and as always, I appreciate constructive criticism on my work so... yeah feel free to message me. Also those of you who know me know I'm the master of mixing past and present tense, just roll with it :’)

[ :: ]

You weren’t sure if it was fate or coincidence that had brought your family back to Beacon Hills. At this point it didn’t really matter. You were here, regardless if you wanted to or not. You were panicking in the front seat of your car, mentally preparing yourself to get out and walk through those double doors to Beacon Hills high. ‘You’ve got this’ you mumbled under your breath. ‘You can do this. Just breath’. You were gripping the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles were beginning to whiten. ‘it’s a big school. He’s not…” you quickly dismissed the thought brewing in your mind. You’d been trying to convince yourself all morning that your nerves had absolutely nothing to do with the brown eyed boy you’d once loved. They boy you’d gotten into a huge fight with and not seen or spoken to in two years. The boy who’d explicitly explained he hated you. Oh no. Your nerves had absolutely nothing to do with him.

You leaned forward and rested your head against the steering wheel.

‘Get. Your. Shit. Together.’ You whispered.

You knew you looked like an idiot. But who cared? You had bigger things to worry about than kids passing by thinking you were crazy. Worries like accidently running into Sti… NO. You scolded yourself. You refused to even think of his name. He was a closed chapter. A done deal. Besides, you hadn’t thought of him in almost two years and you certainly weren’t going to start now. It’s just…things had ended so incredibly bad between you. Stiles had hurt you. Like, really hurt you. His words had stuck with you for longer than you cared to admit. He’d made you insecure and to this very day you still couldn’t be yourself around friends without his words echoing in your head. “You’re needy, clingy and just a charity case Scott and I have been trying to shake since 8th grade” It hurt.

Exhaling a breath, you sat back up and cast a glance at the watch around your wrist. Shit. You really needed to get out of the car, or you’d be forced to walk into class late. Everyone would notice and the teacher would most likely force you to stand in front of the class and introduce yourself. You’d stutter and get all flushed and… sigh. It just wasn’t an option. Mustering your strength, you got out of the car and, with an anxious moan, walked through the doors to BH high.

Ten minutes later and you were making your way to your first class of the day. It’d been a while since you last walked the halls of beacon hills high, but you seemed to still be able to find your way around. With one arm gripping your textbooks, you used your free hand to bring your travel coffee cup to your lips. You weren’t sure if it was the caffeine or nerves that were making your hands shake, most likely a mix of both. Looking at the plaque beside the door you made sure it was the right classroom before stepping in. You were just about to walk to an empty seat when you stopped dead in your tracks.

Oh god.

Oh.

God.

For a moment it was like you completely forgot how to function.

Your heart was racing. You had this panicky feeling of not know what to do because right in front of you, propped up on a worn-out desk across the room was him. Stiles. For a moment your eyes met, and it was like the air was sucked out of the room. The only thing you could focus on was the sensation of utter panic coursing through your veins.

Instantly you shifted your gaze and slid into a desk in the back of the room as far away from him as you could possibly get. This was literally the one thing. The. One. Thing. you’d prayed wouldn’t happen. But hey, when had things ever gone your way?

It was impossible to focus during class. You were on edge the entire time. Every part of your body was tense. Even your hands. You’d hid a balled up fists in your lap while the other held on to the coffee cup for dear life. Thank god it was made of hard plastic and not paper. It would have crimpled in your hand like wet clay. When the bell finally rang you were out of your seat before anyone even had time to pack up their things.

Second period was way better. You ended up talking to the girl seated next to you in class. She offered you to sit with her and her friends during lunch and you’d gladly agreed. “They’re dorks but I love them” she said with a bubbly laugh as you made your way across the courtyard. “aren’t we all” you replied with a small smile. There was something so genuine about this girl. So kind and good. “Oh, there they are!” she raised her hand to wave just as a familiar voice called her name. “Kira!” ‘ARE YOU KIDDING ME’ you screamed internally. Instant panic. Scott was sitting on one of the metal benches smiling widely at Kira. Beside him sat a short, blonde guy in lacrosse gear and Stiles. Stiles. God damn Stiles.

Seriously. Who had you killed in your previous life to deserve this kind of hell? “Come on” Kira smiled, nudging you forward. You hadn’t realized you’d stop moving. “Uh…I’m going to…” you began pointing backwards but Kira had already hooked her arm in yours and forcing you forward. “They’re really nice” she said cheerfully. Scott had raised his hand to wave back at Kira but lowered it as he saw you. He looked thoughtful for a minute but then his face shone up in a smile. All you could think was “a charity case Scott and I have been trying to shake since 8th grade” “a charity case Scott and I…” The distance was closing in and your pulse and nerves were going absolutely haywire.

To make matters worse, walking in from the opposite side of the yard, strawberry blonde hair moving slightly as she moved, was Lydia Martin.

Her green eyes searched across the yard until finally finding her target. Oh. OH. Your eyes widened in shock. With determined steps Lydia walked down the pathway, a grin curving her lips, right to Stiles.

#stiles stilinski #Stiles #stiles fanfiction #imagine stiles #teen wolf imagine #stiles stilinski fanfiction #stiles x reader #stiles imagine #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles x y/n

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butididntpourthewhiskeys · 3 years

Text

L O V E B O U N D

“Christmasbound IV”

Taylor opens her eyes, just once, then closes them immediately. The entire room is spinning again. Her eyes are glued together, her vision blurry. She should’ve taken an Advil before bed. She should’ve prevented this. With a loud groan, she turns around in bed, the blanket only covering one half of her body. She swallows once, can obviously feel how dry her throat is. Taylor wants to move, wants to get up and tell herself that this is a new day, a new beginning, a new chance. All of these positive affirmations that she’s been growing up with. But today, she can’t. Maybe it was the late night whiskey while being all alone that was a bad idea. Maybe it was taking step closer to Joe and his family, which truly has been a bad idea after all.

Taylor takes another deep breath, holds her hand. She’s tired. Emotionally even more than physically. She slowly sits up. A stinging pain in her head keeping her from moving further. She looks to the side, could’ve sworn that she ensured to have a water bottle next to her bed. But the only thing she finds on the nightstand next to her is the whiskey glass. Almost empty. Disgusted at herself, Taylor moves her legs to dangle down the left side of the bed. She just sits upright, feels how dizzy she still is. When she was twenty- three and the world was against her, Taylor would always feel a sense of direction deep within her. As bad as it was, and as destructive as her dealing mechanisms may have been - she always knew this was just a phase. Just a bad month, a bad occurrence. A bad relationship. But now, at age 32, she doesn’t feel a sense of direction anymore. Even more so, she feels like she’s been on the right path. For a long time. Until she decided to leave it. Decided to go so incredibly wrong. All of that, while being a mother. Taylor swallows, stands up on the soft carpet on her bedroom floor. Barefoot and with nothing but her oversized sleeping shirt, Taylor makes her way down the stairs. Her eyes immediately fall onto the big window fronts. With swollen eyes and dried mascara on her cheek, she can’t help but smile tiredly. The world is white. Taylor can already see Eleanor before her eyes, having woken up hours ago and excitedly jumping around the Christmas tree. She’s happy it has snowed. She’s happy Eleanor is with Joe and his family. Where there’s more happiness. Where she can make these happy childhood Christmas memories that Taylor always wanted for her little girl. Even before she was born.

Taylor reaches for the blue coffee mug on the top shelf in the kitchen. She quickly turns on the coffee machine and waits silently for the warm brew to enter her cup. Maybe, just maybe, Eleanor is happier staying with Joe and Naomi, and Elizabeth and Richard. Not with her, right now, on this day. She doesn’t know how to be a mother when deep inside, she’s the lost teenage girl again. She’s never gone through this scenario when becoming a mother. She’s never been prepared that something might hit her that would absolutely numb her from being Eleanor’s mommy. From putting on a fake smile, just to be there for Eleanor. Taylor swallows the hot beverage, knows even without looking into the mirror how horrible she looks. Her shoulder long hair curly and in all directions, mascara under her eyes, bangs all messed up. She slowly grabs her phone, tabs two times to open the chat with Joe. She stares at their last exchanged messages for a few seconds. And she swallows again.

I can’t wait to have you two here, see you soon.

How ironic, that she actually felt like he had other reasons to invite her over. Other reasons than to finally move on from her.

Hey, Merry Christmas. I woke up not feeling great and don’t want to risk anything, so I think I’ll be staying home today. I’ll call later to speak to E. Merry Christmas to your family, give E a kiss from me.

Taylor drops her phone on the marble counter, doesn’t even care if the fall was a bit too harsh. She then grabs her coffee mug and wanders up the stairs again. This time though, she doesn’t go back to her messed up bed and the empty whiskey glass that is waiting for her like a cloud of guilt, in the middle of her house. Instead, she walks straight to the piano room. With bare legs, she slowly sits down on the little chair right in front of the massive piano. For a second, she just sits there, then lifts the piano lid slowly. She doesn’t even move, just takes a last sip of her coffee before placing the mug right on top of the piano. Her fingers slowly brush each key, low undefined sounds coming from the instrument. She’s never been good at life. But this was all she’s had. All she could really get right. All she will ever understand.

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Taylor begins to follow this voice inside of her. Without thinking too much, she lets her hands do the work. Wanders from key to key, until there’s a melody that speaks for her.

____________________

“Mommy, I also got the new tonniebox that I wanted. And daddy and me also read me the note that Santa left for me. Santa wrote a note, just for me!” the little girl babbles into her mother’s ears. Taylor, who’s still just in her PJs, sits on the sofa now. Coffee number three in her hands, her hair still as messed up as before. She laughs quietly on the phone, can see her daughter’s excited little face in front of her eyes. “Of course he did. You’re such a good person, and you know that Santa always has an eye on that. And he’s so proud of you, same as me.” Taylor says, consciously didn’t tell her that she’s been a ‘good girl’, this year. She’s learned the difference between society telling you you’re a ‘good girl’ and actually being a good person. There’s worlds between these two things. Taylor can hear the background noises, Elizabeth probably rushing to prepare breakfast for everyone. Just when Eleanor was done telling Taylor about her presents, she can hear Joe in the background. Asking her if ‘mummy’s still on the phone’. Taylor swallows. It takes less than five seconds and she can hear Joe’s voice. He sounds careful, almost worried, a hint of curiosity in his voice. Her text this morning was probably too obvious. He knows her too well, probably can tell already that she’s been to overwhelmed by last night. Too overwhelmed meeting Naomi. Too overwhelmed seeing Joe with another woman. For the first time in a decade. For the first time ever.

He asks her if she’s feeling better, if she can make it to join them for lunch. How important it would be for Eleanor to have her mum there. Taylor feels sick, just hearing his voice again. Maybe it’s the coffee on her empty stomach, or it’s the warmth in his deep voice, that has captured her from the first time he opened his mouth, ages ago, through all the noise, on a warm LA summer night.

“I don’t know if it’s safe for me to come over, especially with covid and.. I do feel a scratch in my throat. So I think it’s better if…”

“We all got tested yesterday. It’s impossible that…”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I feel like crap,” she says, hoping he would finally stop. Taylor hears his silence on the end of the phone line. He knows. She knows that he knows.

“Of course, I’m sorry for pressuring you. It’s just… it’s Christmas Day and…”

“No, no. You’re not pressuring me.” She then says, still feels sad whenever he does. She needs to stop doing this. Needs to stop subconsciously mirroring him. Caring so much and so deeply about his happiness that she adjusts whenever he’s feeling some type of way. Suddenly, Taylor can hear Eleanor in the background. She is asking about mommy. Asking when mommy is coming over. Taylor feels this pressure on her chest again. Is she abandoning her daughter right now? Because she can’t get over her own feelings?

“Eleanor wants to.. wants to speak to you again.” He says then and Taylor can hear him handing over the phone. It takes one whiny “mommy” and Taylor knows she needs to get up, get freshened up, get over herself. She’s not twenty- three anymore. She can’t just care solely for herself anymore. She can’t just stay right here.

____________________

With a bad tummy ache, Taylor stares out of the window, watching all the naked trees in the dim light.

You left me no choice but to stay here forever.

For whatever reason, these lyrics are stuck in her head and she knows that she needs to write them down tonight. Just when the car stops, Taylor feels a rush of nausea overcome her. She unbuckles her seatbelt and nods at her driver. She thanks him underneath her mask, swallows hard as she sees the family home just meters away from her, behind the glass of the car where she’s still sitting in the backseat. She feels unable to move, but does it anyways. After a few seconds, she’s left the car, wearing black jeans and boots and nothing but a plaid blouse underneath her coat. She slowly takes off the mask, remains there in front of the house. She’s doing this for Eleanor. She’s doing this because she’s got a responsibility. Because she’s an adult now. Taylor slowly takes a few steps up to the entry through the thin layer of snow on the ground, can already smell Elizabeth’s cherry pie through the open window that leads right to the hallway. Taylor knows she looks better than a few hours ago. Her hair and face clean. Mascara where it’s supposed to be. Blush on her lips and cheeks. Almost as if nothing had happened to her. Nothing at all. With a slight nauseous feeling, Taylor was about to ring the doorbell but stopped in the last second, as the big door opened by itself already. A bit surprised and startled, Taylor looks at Elizabeth. And the fifty- year old woman looks back at her. It’s this uncomfortable and insecure silence between them for a few seconds. But even before Taylor can say anything, Elizabeth’s face changes into a warm smile. A relief that has run through Taylor’s veins immediately.

“Oh hi there, I knew I heard a car pull up.”

Taylor nods, was just about to answer as Elizabeth already pulls her inside the house and inside her arms. This is still new to her. This is still overwhelming. Taylor closes her eyes and feels Elizabeth’s hands on her back, stroking her back up and down. She immediately feels tears building up, swallows them down in the last second, just when the brown haired woman pulls back and smiles at her.

“Are you feeling better?” She asks, a well- knowing look on her face, as she already takes Taylor’s coat from her. Taylor, who feels welcomed but trapped at the same time, just nods quietly. She doesn’t really want to talk about it.

“Yeah I felt a bit off this morning.” she mumbles. Elizabeth places a hand on her back as soon as she’s put the coat away and walks with Taylor into the kitchen. Like a wildcat in fight mode, Taylor hectically looks through the living room but nobody’s there. That’s not quite what she expected to find.

“Where..”

“Oh they’re all upstairs on the attic looking through Joe’s old theatre costumes.” Elizabeth laughs, begins to stir the sauce she’s preparing on the stove. Taylor just nods, doesn’t really know how to act or move. She just takes a deep breath standing there. An old Christmas CD from the 90s is playing. The lights on the Christmas tree are lid. The cooker hood making dump noises. Elizabeth looks up at Taylor again, can see her awkwardly standing there, leaning against the counter next to her.

“We’re very happy to have you here, you know.” She says then and Taylor feels how she blushes. She never thought Elizabeth would ever say something like this to her ever again. Not after she and Eleanor left her son. Not after the last Christmas.

“I’m happy to be here as well.” Taylor then answers and Elizabeth steals her another look, then giggles quietly.

“Are you really?”

Taylor feels like she’s freezing for a while. She doesn’t know what to do with this answer.

“Of course, I.. I’m so thankful we’re speaking again and..”

“No, I didn’t mean that.” She says and Taylor knows what she knows. It must be written all over her face. A face that says ‘he’s moved on, I haven’t’. Taylor doesn’t say anything, as Elizabeth turns down the temperature of the stove and turns around at her.

“We should go for a walk soon. Catch up a bit.”

Taylor immediately smiles and nods a few times. Even if she feels like hell is loose, this offer definitely made her smile a bit more. It took exactly seven seconds to pass, as multiple steps come down the stairs and Eleanor screams excitedly, let’s go off her grandfather’s hand to run towards her mom.

“Mommy!” She screams and Taylor laughs for the first time really today, lifts up the small girl and holds her on her hip smiling. “Monkey, hello.” Taylor smiles, Eleanor and her automatically leaning in for a kiss on the lips which is followed by Taylor stealing her cheek another kiss. Just as she wished Eleanor another merry Christmas, is when she notices Naomi’s warm smile facing them. Within a matter of seconds, Taylor feels irritated again, holds onto the little girl on her arm as if she’s holding onto her life.

“Oh darling, are you so happy your mummy’s joined too?” Elizabeth strokes over Eleanor’s curls after having watched the scene between Eleanor and Taylor with a smile. She knows that after all, Taylor’s an incredible mother. A quality that she knew she’s got from the very first day they met. Right in this house. A decade ago. “Yes.” Eleanor mumbles into Taylor’s neck and they all laugh quietly. Just in that second, Joe also joins the family kitchen and smiles warmly at Taylor. He’s glad she’s made it.

“Someone’s glad her mum’s here, huh?” he then laughs at his daughter. Taylor was about to answer him, but his hand that casually lands on Naomi’s shoulder keeps her from opening her mouth.“Ellie, are you so happy you can show mummy your presents now?” the petite woman says, looking at Eleanor who’s still on Taylor’s arm. Ellie. Just in that moment, Eleanor turns her head grumpily, and goes “My name is Eleanor”. Taylor tries her hardest not to smile, but her mini- me seems to have hit the nail in the head here. Joe immediately laughs, both hands on Naomi’s shoulders now. “Darling, why don’t you show your mum what Santa Claus left under the tree this morning for her?” He says with a grin, obviously wanted to change topics to make sure that the awkward mood in the room diminishes. In that second, Eleanor moves on Taylor’s arm quickly and signals her that she wants to get down.

Together with Eleanor, Taylor now walks into the living room, knees down in front of Eleanor’s presents.

“Look, this one’s from Santa for mummy.” She says with a bright smile and Taylor decides to sit down on the carpet while opening her present.

“Mhm what could that be?” She says, swallows hard as she finally takes a good look at what’s in her hands. A colored polaroid of Joe and Eleanor, smiling into the camera is placed in the middle of the green card. Surrounded by little Christmas stickers and drawn Christmas trees with glitter hearts on them, both Eleanor and Joe have their heads stuck together, smiling the purest smiles into the camera. She can see Joe’s arm holding the camera. Of course she’s had some help with this present. Right underneath the picture, Eleanor has placed a smiling heart sticker and wrote “from Eleanor and daddy” in her messy handwriting, just the way a first grader would do. Taylor looks at the card, tears forming in her eyes. She doesn’t want to get emotional now. Doesn’t want to get emotional here in this room. But the two humans, who are so innocently smiling in this picture, still mean the world to her.

“I love it so much.” She says then quietly, hopes that no one else has seen her get teary. Eleanor looks confused at her mum, but Taylor just laughs, wipes away the tears on her cheeks and immediately hugs her. “This is so beautiful that I got super emotional, honey.” She laughs, soothing Eleanor a bit. And the little girl nods, seems to accept Taylor’s answer.

“I made the card, but Santa wrapped it up and put it under the tree.”

Taylor laughs and nods before getting up. Especially, because to Eleanor - it actually makes a lot of sense.

“That’s so nice of him. I’m so happy Santa brought me this beautiful card.” She says, takes Eleanor’s hand before joining the others around the table.

____________________

It’s been an hour now since Taylor consciously made the decision to have a conversation with the left side of the big table - Patrick and his girlfriend Jess. It’s been so wonderful reconnecting with him, hearing about his plans for after his masters degree. Hearing Jess talk about how they met, their struggles to find an affordable flat in northwest London and how excited they are to drive up to Denmark together once this coronavirus situation is over. Taylor has made the conscious effort to ignore Naomi, Joe and Tom who are seated on the other half of the table. Taylor knows she can’t block the new woman on this table out, but she clearly is taking every chance she’s got to engage in other conversations. Just when Eleanor is tapping attentively on her shoulder is when Taylor looks up and finds Naomi, Joe and Eleanor all dressed up. Apparently ready to go for a walk. A bit confused, Taylor looks at Joe and then back at Eleanor.

“We’re going out for a walk with Flint, do you want to join us?”

Taylor immediately shakes her head, an answer that came a bit too fast.

“Oh thanks for asking but I think you should go without me.” she mumbles, the last thing she wants to do right now is go for a walk with Naomi and Joe. Eleanor however continues to pull her hand, seems to have made up her mind that her mum has to join them today. Just when Taylor was about to talk to Eleanor is when Joe already speaks up. His voice in the same gentle tone that he’s always put on when they had a serious conversation.

“Actually, it would be fantastic if we could just... talk a bit? Who knows when’s the next time that we can all get together?” he says, Naomi just standing next to him, smiling hopefully and nodding with big eyes. Taylor knows that she’s being unreasonable but she would wish that Naomi wasn’t a petite and small woman, who’s got huge eyes, seems a bit shy and radiates this incredible kindness that sickens her whenever she enters the room. She wants Naomi to be someone she can passionately hate. Someone who’s toxic and mean, who gives off bad energy. But instead, she seems to be a kind, ordinary, bi- racial woman. Someone who Taylor would want to be friends with. The last person who Taylor would have wanted as her replacement. The better choice. The easier choice.

“Yeah it would be fun to.. catch up!” Naomi then says to Taylor in her British accent, sounding a bit unsure whether she’s been taking it too far. Taylor swallows. She’s got no arguments left. If she still decides to not go with them, then she would be the bad cop. A decision she doesn’t want to have to take. Taylor slowly gets up, nods and puts on a fake smile as Eleanor already cheers on her. She seems to be way more excited than Taylor is.

“Alright, it’s fine.” Taylor mumbles, can feel Elizabeth’s stare in her neck. She knows that it’s not fine. Not at all.

A bit insecure, just like she was back then, Taylor slowly puts in her boots that were left in the hallway. Joe watches her and he knows this isn’t easy for her. But knowing Taylor, he also is aware that things will feel way easier once she gets to know Naomi. Once she sees that she’s so respected by someone who doesn’t even know her. Once she sees that he wants her in his life. Forever. No matter what the circumstances are.

Joe remains standing in the hallway, watches Eleanor and Naomi with Flint leave the doorway already. Joe remains standing there, looks down at Taylor who’s still fixing her boots. Once she gets up, she exchanges a look with him and he smiles. Taylor is rolling her eyes.

I can’t believe you make me do this.

Thank you for doing this.

With her hands in her coat, Taylor slowly starts walking next to Joe. She feels awkward to say the least. Going for a walk with Joe, their child and his new girlfriend. Naomi carefully slows down to walk right next to Joe, and seems to be more than interested to start a conversation with Taylor.

“It’s such a beautiful weather isn’t it? I can’t believe it started snowing last night.” Naomi says and Taylor nods, can see in the corner of her eye that Joe is holding hands with her. And Taylor feels sick. To say the least.

“Eleanor was so sad these past weeks cause it hadn’t snowed yet, so she’s ecstatic today.” Joe laughs and everyone reacts except for Taylor. She usually is excellent in smalltalk, and Joe knows that. But seeing her so quiet makes him think that it’s not even a statement she’s giving him - she probably really is at a loss for words.

“Are you feeling better?” Joe asks her and Taylor slowly looks up, looks straight at Eleanor who’s holding Flint in her hands while walking down the street.

“Yeah definitely.” She says, doesn’t even try to sound like she’s okay with it. Slowly but surely, she feels rage develop in her chest. She cannot believe he’s making her do this. She cannot believe after everything they’ve been though, he can just go for a walk with Eleanor and her and his new girlfriend.

“Are you usually based in London or in America, Taylor?” Naomi then asks and Taylor can feel immediately that she’s been desperate to start a conversation with her. Taylor feels her staring at her. But she can’t face her just yet.

“Well Eleanor’s pre- school is based in London so we’re mainly here. But before covid we would travel a lot between Nashville and London.” she answers, feels actually kind of proud that she’s grown up enough to not become mean or sarcastic towards Naomi. And she can feel Joe do the same. She doesn’t have to look at him to know that he’s proud how civil she can be.

“Wow must be nice to have homes all over the world.” Naomi says and Joe laughs quietly. She cannot believe he’s laughing at her. Cannot believe he would be with someone who’s from an entirely different world. But then again, wasn’t that what Joe was to her back then? A sweet escape from the crowded and abnormal world she’s been living in. Taylor dares to look to her left and she can see Naomi looking at her steps carefully. Maybe, Naomi is Joe’s escape from her. The most painful thought she’s had for a while.

“Well, I’m sure Joe already told you that living in two different countries at the same time isn’t as exciting as you may think.” Naomi laughs quickly, and anyone who would witness this conversation could tell immediately that Naomi is nervous. Taylor hates it. Taylor hates how nice she is.

“Well, I was raised in southwest London and my family never could afford to travel. So to me, all of that sounds lovely.” Taylor says nothing.

“Daddy, can you help me with Flint’s collar?” Eleanor suddenly yells, already is a good six hundred meters in front of them. Joe immediately nods, starts jogging towards his daughter. Taylor and Naomi are now left behind, slowly continue walking down the street. And without taking a closer look at Naomi, Taylor can feel how happy the other woman seems to be that she has some alone time with Taylor now.

“It sounds ridiculous, I’m sure, but you have no idea how scared I was to meet you.” Naomi then says and Taylor wishes she never would’ve started this topic. She doesn’t know anything about Naomi and she wants things to stay this way. “When I was younger I had all of your albums at my house and... I really admire you a lot.”

“Thanks.” Taylor answers, as emotionless as possible. And she can sense that Naomi feels the cold that she radiates right now. How can Joe expect her to bond with his new girlfriend on Christmas? How can he think that her love for him has ever diminished? It never could. And he used to know that. The silence between the tall blonde woman in the big black coat and the smaller woman in the red puff jacket gets louder. Taylor feels uncomfortable and she for sure knows that Naomi feels the same.

“I know you hate me.” Naomi then says and Taylor sighs. Her anger gets more with every single word she says.

“I don’t hate you.”

“No, I mean.. I get it. And I feel so sorry for...”

“What do you feel sorry for?” Taylor asks, a bit too aggressive for her usual self.

“I’m sorry that Joe is making us meet over Christmas. It wasn’t my idea. I hope you know that. But I think he just... he wants things to become easier. With us. With you and your daughter. I think he just wants to finally have some peace.”

Naomi’s last sentence rips Taylor’s insides apart. She knows that she’s right. That she just said what Taylor sang years ago. Joe just wants to have peace in his life. With a partner who can give him that. With her as an ex- girlfriend and with his child. That’s all he wants. Taylor and Naomi just keep walking down the street, nothing but the gravel under their soles can be heard.

“You know, I will never become someone for him like you were.” Naomi then says and Taylor starts to feel sick. She can’t believe that this woman won’t stop talking. It almost feels painful hearing her voice in her ears. “You... you were his first real love. Whenever we talk about these things...” she sighs, then looks back up at Tay. “He speaks a lot about you and I think there’s just so many things he’s still digesting. Please don’t ever think that..”

“Naomi...” Taylor then interrupts her because she feels like throwing up. She can’t believe that the little person next to her is opening up to her if it she was an old friend. And maybe, exactly that kindness is what drives her insane. Because deep down, Taylor knows that Joe deserves someone as caring as that. Someone who helps him heal the wounds that she created. “I don’t hate you, Naomi. But I also need you to respect that I need time. Can we not talk about Joe anymore?”

Naomi looks at Taylor with big eyes, immediately nods. She seems intimidated by the tall blonde woman and Taylor can feel how guilty she feels. Naomi shakes her head, then turns to Taylor. “God, Taylor, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just thought maybe it would be the right way to just.. be really honest with you, but you’re so right, it was super insensible, and...”

“It’s fine.” Taylor then says, enjoys the sudden silence between them more than she expected. Taylor slowly looks up, can see Joe walking hand in hand with Eleanor. His hand lands on Eleanor’s head, and even from far away, Taylor can hear that she’s singing her favorite Christmas song. Taylor can’t help but smile for a second. Maybe, just maybe, it was all meant to be this way. Taylor still remembers ten years ago, when she first moved to New York and discovered slowly that with the lifestyle she chose, having a family and a committed relationship would be impossible. Maybe, just maybe, she was right back then. Taylor sees Joe jogging backwards, making Eleanor laugh. He seems so happy today. Playing with Eleanor, knowing he’s found someone who can give him the kind of life he was always used to, before her. The kind of life he craves. Taylor suddenly feels a new feeling in her chest. It’s a feeling she read about multiple times but never had experienced herself before, in the truest form she could imagine. She just wants him to be happy. Even if it means that she’s not part of his life anymore. At least not in the way she used to be. And she wants him to ‘digest’ whatever she did to him. Wants someone to help him heal the scars that she gave him.

“Look at that house, baby, oh my god.” Taylor squeaks for the fifteenth time in the past hour, stops in the middle of the street again. Joe grins, takes a step back to see what she’s looking at. A tiny house in brick stone with a French balcony right on the canal. He looks down at the blonde woman and laughs. She quickly reaches for her crossbody bag, takes out her phone and takes a picture. He can’t help but laugh.

“We’ll go home on Sunday and you have two hundred pictures of dutch houses on your phone.” Taylor grins, but doesn’t let him stop her. She just continues to take pictures, then buries her phone in her bag again and reaches for his hand once more. In nothing but her jeans shorts, white sneakers and huge sweatshirt, Taylor walks next to Joe. It’s a lukewarm summer night. With both hands now clinging onto Joe’s, they just continue to walk down the small street somewhere here in Amsterdam.

“I’m just in awe that there’s people living here, in this.. dream city. It’s so cozy and gorgeous. I just… Joe, I could cry how romantic this is.” Joe, who’s still walking hand in hand next to her just looks down at her with a big smile. His blonde hair a bit too long. His beard grown for his upcoming movie role. He just smiles, gets closer to her and presses a gentle kiss onto her lips. She tastes like the rose chapstick she applied earlier.

“I’m glad you like it.” he then says, continues walking down this lane. Taylor’s eyes are everywhere right now. She’s smitten by the city, smitten by the fact that she’s experiencing this. A weekend in a beautiful European city with the love of her life. No big black cars. No security around her. She feels so free with him, so safe, so… alive.

“Thanks for taking me here and organizing everything.” She mumbles. The sun is slowly setting and she’s glad she put on her sweater. “You’re very welcome. We’re almost there.” Joe says, keeps looking at his phone to make sure they’re not missing the right lane. “I think we need to go that way.” He says, points to a tiny alley on the left. Taylor looks at him and then back at the tiny street and just laughs. “God, I fucking love Europe” she laughs, holds onto his hand a bit tighter as they make their way through the alley. Joe looks back at her and she’s amused, carefully watches her steps on the cobblestones to not trip or fall.

“Where are you taking me? Do I have to be scared?” She asks, and Joe laughs.

“I’m taking you out to dinner, I already told you that.” he says all smart and Taylor just shakes her head.

“I’m really hungry. Where are we...”, within a few seconds Taylor gets quieter because she’s speechless. Just as they left the tiny street, a massive canal with a beautiful bridge that fully lid up by small lights is right in front of them. And Taylor feels like she’s in a movie. “Beautiful here, huh?” he smiles and Taylor remains speechless.

“Do you see this restaurant?” he asks, points to three small tables that are located right on the bridge next to the canal. Taylor just looks up at him, can’t believe he picked this romantic little restaurant for the two.

“Are you kidding me? This is... oh my god.” With a proud smile, Joe starts walking closer to the small restaurant. Just as they stand in front, Joe starts speaking to the waiter who then accompanies Taylor and Joe to their outside table - a tiny round table on the small bridge right over the Amsterdam canal. Taylor, who truly seems to be at a loss for words just sits down together with Joe. And the blonde haired man has to laugh at her reaction. Her eyes as big as the eyes of a child and her jaw still dropped.

“Do you like it?” he asks laughing, knows the answer himself. Taylor still looks around, unable to process how beautiful her surrounding is. She’s used to big city lights and massive crowds. But what Joe is presenting her here is quiet and calm beauty. The sunset over the old Dutch roofs. The view over the canal right from this little bridge. People who pass the street on the other side with their bikes. It’s quiet and small and beautiful.

“Joe, this is... this is by far the most romantic restaurant I’ve ever been at. How did you... how did you find this?” she asks, her phone already in her hand, taking pictures of everything around her. And Joe can’t help but smile. This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to make this special, wanted to show her some of the most beautiful places in the world he knows. He wants to take her to all of them. The special ones and the common ones.

Just when he was about to open the menu, Taylor tells him to smile at her and he does so. The picture she just took of him makes her smile. He seems so happy, his eyes radiating in this picture right in the centre of this beautiful scenery right here at this restaurant. Taylor looks at this picture for a minute too long.

This is it. This is her entire happiness.

With a happy smile, Taylor puts her phone back into her small YSL purse and opens the menu like he just did. “What are you going to eat?” Taylor asks him and Joe smiles slightly, then looks back up at her.

“Well I’m not sure yet but I already know what you’re gonna get.” Taylor laughs,

“Okay and what is that?”

“Number 21 - truffle pasta with side salad. Dressing on the side.” Taylor looks back up at him and laughs in surprise again. He just knows her too well.

“Why the fuck do you read me like a book?” she jokes, and Joe can’t help but stare at her for a bit longer. She really does look incredible in this light. Her bangs a bit messy, her hair in a bun. She looks cozy in her sweater. But most of all she looks... happy.

“I guess I just know you very well.” he says, and Taylor closes the menu and looks back up at him. It’s a loving look, an intimate one. She slowly reaches for his hand across the table and Joe also puts the menu aside.

“You do. You really do.” she just mumbles and he feels like drowning in her eyes. Just when Joe was about to open his mouth, the waiter had already made his way to them and Joe orders - both main menus and two glasses of the Chardonnay. Taylor’s favorite.

“Do you ever think about what our lives could be like, living here in one of these tiny houses.” Taylor then says, her eyes on her surroundings. She sounds so dreamy as so often. Her heart is the heart of a little romantic. Joe still holds her hand on the table, strokes the back of it slowly. His eyes are just on her. “Maybe you would be working at the Amsterdam theatre of arts. I would be a writer. We’d both may struggle financially but live in a tiny old flat. You would get me tulips every weekend. We would eat a lot of cheese.” Joe starts laughing then, still looking at Taylor.

“I don’t think that’s what actual Dutch people do on the daily, babe.” he laughs, as the waiter already approaches their table and serves them two glasses of wine. Not even for a split second, Taylor lets go off Joe’s hand. With her other hand she’s reaching for the wine glass.

“Cheers baby. To us. Two years.” she smiles and he does the same.

“Two years. Almost.” he says and she laughs slowly.

“Oh come on, do you really think I’m breaking up with you two weeks before our anniversary?” she laughs and he just shrugs his shoulders.

“You never know.” Taylor just shakes her head. He is silly at times.

“But for real now, what if we quit our lives and move to Amsterdam and become ordinary people?” she asks him and Joe has to laugh once more. She really seems to be obsessed with this idea .

“I don’t know, I like our lives.” he says, feels a sudden nervousness overcome him. It’s the first time since this weekend. The first time that it comes boiling up and scaring him a bit.

“I mean... our lives are not normal or easy. I would like normal and easy for a while.” Taylor says, looks around herself once more. She can’t wait to send pictures of this beautiful location to her family and friends. They won’t even believe how lucky she’s been.

“I think normal and easy is not for us. We’re not normal or easy and I love that.” he says, takes a sip off his wine glass. Taylor laughs and looks at him then.

“No I am not normal or easy. You are though.” she jokes but Joe doesn’t react to her. She knows that it’s one of her weaknesses. Laughing when she’s nervous. Turning things that scare or worry her into a joke. Joe, who still hasn’t replied yet, just keeps staring at her. She’s so uncomfortable all of the sudden. And she never is, especially not when she’s with Joe.

“You are normal and you are easy too. And I love you.” he says then and Taylor looks back at him. She can see so much in his eyes, in these moments. So much love and kindness, but there’s also something else. He’s holding something back. Deep down, she can feel that.

“I know you still think you’re a burden and your life’s all complicated and all that..” he then says and Taylor freezes. There’s not been many times where he’s blurted something like this out. Without thinking twice. Just like that. Taylor swallows. Why is it that he can read her mind like that. As If she was an open book to him. “But have you ever thought for a second that you’re the only one out there I ever want to be with? I.. I don’t care about anything like that. All the.. all the complications or the not easiness or the abnormal things about your life. It’s not like that for me. I can’t ever see myself loving someone else again.” He says, ends his little speech with a smile. And Taylor just sits there, at the restaurant, holding his hand. She looks at his face but his words feel too overwhelming for her to process them. She’s had relationships before. But she’s never heard words quite like these.

“Do you understand me?” he jokes at her speechlessness then, “I can’t be with anyone else ever again. You changed me.”

“I changed you?”

“You did.” Joe looks back in her eyes and he can see how deeply emotional she is. This is it, he thinks.

“You changed me, Joe. In so many ways.” He smiles, takes a deep breath, holds her little hand a bit tighter.

“I know we never spoke about this in all seriousness, but…” he stops again, looks at her hands, before looking back up at her again. He feels shaky all of the sudden. His hands become a bit more sweaty than usually. “But.. how would you feel about.. things getting more serious in the future.”

“What do you mean?”

“How would you feel if I asked you to marry me?” Taylor sits there, a soothing evening breeze passing her face. She just smiles at him, doesn’t say anything. Then, without her controlling it, Taylor starts laughing. Loudly. Joe swallows. This was not quite the reaction he was hoping for.

“Baby, are you proposing to me? Or what is this?” Joe takes a breath, then laughs with her. He’s a bit insecure, but he’s shaking it off quite well. Acting school seems to have paid off.

“I’m not, I just wanted to speak to you about it. I mean… do you ever want to get married and have kids, or what are your plans in like… years down the road.”

“Of course I want to marry you. And I want us to have tall blonde weird ass kids.” she smiles across the table, “but.. we’re not there yet. I mean, we’re not even thirty yet. I just.. I definitely need a bit longer.” She laughs and Joe nods. He also takes a sip of his wine glass now. He definitely needs that.

“Do you feel differently?” She asks him then and he shakes his head.

“No, no I fully agree with you. I mean.. I’m 27. Way too young.” he mumbles, and Taylor reaches his hand again.

“Hey, look at me.” she says then, almost whispering because she knows he will hear her. “It’s you and me until the day I die. No matter if you love someone else or.. if you hate me. I will always love you, even when you don’t love me anymore.”

A dog barks at the end of the road. The soft snow underneath her boots creak slightly. For the first time since minutes, Taylor looks up in front of her again. Joe and Eleanor are still a good three hundred meters in front of them, have now started to pick a snowball fight. Just the two of them. And the tall man seems unlucky, seems to have taught his daughter very well. Every now and then, he acts as if Eleanor’s snowball hit him very hard. Harder than humanly possible. And Eleanor loves it, giggles excitedly while speaking to Flint about her next move.

You left me. You left me. You left me no choice but to stay here forever.

Taylor feels her body vibrating. She immediately stops, turns around at the woman next to her. “Uhm Naomi, can you.. can you walk up to Joe and tell him I need to finish something really quick. He.. he’ll know. See you later.” Naomi nods a bit confused, and it’s only then that Taylor notices how insecure the woman seems. She’s looking at Taylor, trying hard to understand her. Trying hard to read her. It’s this moment, in which Taylor understands that it’s also not easy being in her position. She’s the one who wasn’t there. Who hasn’t lived through the past years.

But Joe and her did. Every second.

More determined than before, she then turns around, already picks her phone as soon as she’s a few meters away from her. Within a matter of seconds, Taylor opens her recording app, stares at her phone for a few seconds and closes the app again. She then goes back to her picture folder, scrolls up for a few seconds. Right until she’s found it. Found something she didn’t want to see for a long time.

07.54pm, Amsterdam, Netherlands, September 4th, 2018.

Her phone still reminds her. Taylor stares at this picture for a while. Joe indeed, looked so happy. Sitting in the small restaurant by the canal. Holding her hand. Believing that they were forever. Having his mum’s ring in his pocket. Little did he know then that this evening would be the first time she would refuse his proposal. Taylor touches his face on the screen for a few seconds, then closes the app again. She goes back into her recordings, holds the phone close to her and begins to sing quietly. She doesn’t want anyone to notice her. To notice her singing nonsense into her phone - which has been the only dealing mechanism she’s ever known. She closes her eyes, right on this snowy winter day, and she’s back. Back in Amsterdam. Back in summer.

“Help, I'm still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt, cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right..”

#taylor swift #joe and taylor #joe alwyn #taylor swift fanfiction #joe and taylor fanfiction #lovebound #fanfiction #Christmasbound #right where you left me #amsterdam

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