#ive been talking about it pretty often the last few days

[princesssmars]

holly jolly!

an abby anderson x reader based on my abby winter drabble !

wc : 15.718

contains : fluff, angst and smut . fxf relationship. fem!reader. switch! abby and reader. oral and penetrative sex. strap-on yippee. past abby x owen ewwww. owen hate bc i hate him and its funny. reader is a skier and abby does hockey! shitty dad for reader sorry girls. slight alcoholism sorry girls again. the reader is described as slightly tall i know yall been wanting taller readers. reader is kind of bitchy and abby loves it my fave dynamic (dynamic and pretty much the rest inspired by the little ruse go read it).

a/n : sorry i never got over my drabble guys. i dont know who exactly made hockey!abby but ive read em all so big creds to @angelkissiies @millersaurora @whatwouldsylwrite (and @eightstarr for calling abby princess) everyone else smoochies ily <3 made reader a skier because ive been obsessing over the olympics and i watched mollys game and thought it would be cool if i made a skier reader instead of a figure skater. ballerina next time if yall will indulge my delusions.

christmas has always been a bittersweet holiday.

you can remember the good parts from your childhood. picking out your first stocking with your mom. when your younger brother hid in the cupboard to try and catch santa. when your baby brother got cookie dough all over the kitchen, even on the ceiling. or when you were five years old and your dad gifted you your very first pairs of skis.

but it was hard to remember when the bad could get really bad. constant days spent out in the cold and snow, redoing your runs over and over until your legs burned and your back ached. your days that were supposed to be full of vacationing and fun instead filled with aches and falls and countless arguments once you realized you could start talking back.

some of the few friends you've had over the years tried to get you to focus on the good times and not the bad. that dwelling in the past wouldn't help you move forward. when you were younger you'd just call them assholes and move on, but recently it didn't seem worth the effort. that's probably why you started college with no close friends.

it was fine. you had your smarts, which helped you to get a full-ride scholarship when a skiing one fell through after a bad leg injury a few months back. because of that, your mom managed to convince your dad to get off of your ass for a while as you recovered. you had money thanks to your parents and you had your looks which would land you a hookup once in a blue moon.

you'd even made two acquaintances on campus, your roommate, tonya, who was pretty mellow and made sure not to bring the weed she smoked inside your dorm, and a girl named nora in one of your general ed classes whom you would partner up with often.

so yeah. it was fine. at least until the end of your freshman year.

you were running late for your ten am class, sleeping in because tonya had somehow managed to convince you to go to a small party with her last night and take body shots, and then when you were close to being drunk you saw one of your past hookups in the corner who you had dropped for getting way too attached way too quickly, so then you had to quickly find tonya and run back to your dorm-

youre in the middle of remembering ton's bird-like laugh when you nearly faceplanted into your front door when you ran full force into a hulking mass of a body.

the sound of them lightly cursing and asking if you were okay falls on deaf ears as you pick up your bag and hike it to your class, ignoring the stairs of the other students when you rush and plop into your seat.

luckily you manage to get yourself together afterwards, fixing yourself up at your dorm before heading to your next course with nora. as soon as you sit down she's teasing you about a video she saw of you getting wasted last night and you don't even have the energy to entertain her.

"well, instead of getting drunk off your ass again how about you join me tonight? one of my friends is on the hockey team and i got some nice ass tickets."

"c'mon, nora. hockey? seriously?"

"oh, im sorry ms. olympian, is hockey too good for you suddenly? just a bunch of women tossing a puck around too barbaric for you?"

"wait, you didnt say it was women's hockey."

"well, it is."

"..."

"..."

"what time does it start?"

at around five you're putting on a cute sweater and a puffer jacket before joining nora on the campus bus where she tries to quickly explain the rules of hockey to you in the span of five minutes. she asks how on earth you haven't been to one of the games or at least heard of the team's star breakout player. you have to carefully explain that you've had enough of sports to last a lifetime.

the indoor arena is packed, and you have to roughly squeeze and push multiple people out of the way to get by. nora starts laughing and tells you to leave the violence to the players and you brush her off. (for some reason she constantly loves to tease you.) when you both finally sit in your seats, you notice that they're behind the glass where the team players get out onto the ice and sit for breaks. nora suddenly bangs on the glass behind a player wearing an ANDERSON 20 jersey. the girl stands up and turns around and good god.

you weren't the shortest girl yourself, standing a couple inches over most girls you knew, but jesus she was easily almost six feet tall, and big, even if her jersey and gear probably made her look larger which really didn't help you focus. you liked the contrast of it with her face, bright, cute, and red from the cold as she talked to nora through the plexiglass. you were just about to admire the shape of her nose when her slightly unnerving blue eyes turned to you.

"hey, i recognize you!"

your brows pull in a deep scrunch.

"from this morning, you bumped into me and nearly knocked me on my ass."

"oh my god, i had a feeling that was you!" you hear the familiar noise of nora laughing at your pain. "jeez, how drunk did you get last night?"

"would you just- look, im sorry about earlier. i was hungover and rushing to class."

she smiles and shakes her head. "its chill, dont worry about it. nora, are you going to that party at derek's frat after? i swear he was begging me to come but i wasnt too sure."

"abby, everyone asks you to go to their parties and you never do! live a little." nora pauses before wrapping her arm around your shoulders.

you knew she was about to say something to piss you off.

"even little y/n here is gonna come and properly apologize to someone for once. isn't that right, hun?"

great.

"well, that wasn't my plan for tonight. at all." you say before picking up your giant hockey-themed plastic cup and taking a sip, hoping the chill of your slushie numbs out the rest of this conversation.

abby adjusts some of her straps and her helmet before resting her hand on the glass, noticing how the rest of her teammates are getting ready to go out on the ice. "well, i'd really like to see you there. is there any way i could convince you to come?"

"i don't know, is there?"

"how about... when i win, you come to the party with me."

you couldn't help but roll your eyes so hard they hurt. leave it to nora to be friends with the walking cliche of an arrogant sports player. you could've been spending this moment in your dorm watching a dumb hallmark movie about a businesswoman falling in love with a farmer while eating chips and drinking a self-indulgent capri sun.

"and if you lose?"

the announcer over the loudspeaker called for the game to start and the players started making their way onto the ice. abby winks at you before turning around and joining the rest of her team.

"trust me, i won't."

you scoffed and flopped back into your hard seat, sucking almost angrily at the bright red straw in your slushie to ignore nora's look.

"are all of your friends that annoying?"

"kind of. thought you'd enjoy it though. birds of a feather."

not bothering to entertain her, you focused on the game that was starting in front of you.

you could understand the basics of the game; one team had to get the puck into the other goal several times until they won. you had a brief understanding of some of the other rules, mostly because your father explained every winter olympic sport to you in great detail when you were twelve. it became so boring at one point that you fell asleep and banged your head on the coffee table, startling the both of you so much he decided to let you go to bed.

but as the game goes on you have to admit that anderson is frighteningly good at what she does. she moves gracefully and quickly on the ice, so well you think to yourself that if she ever tires of hockey she could seriously pursue ice skating, but when an opposing player gets too aggressive with her she returns it with force. she's like an avalanche on skates.

when the game ends you can't tell whether you're shocked or agitated. your team won in what nora called a 'total fucking landslide', the bright 6-1 lighting up the scoreboard like a smack in the face. it felt slightly awkward that everyone around you was yelling and celebrating while you were sitting statue still in your seat.

nora could probably sense your discomfort and gently pulled you up, telling you that the both of you could throw your things away before meeting up with some more friends of hers before heading to the party.

so awesome.

her friends were nice enough, a psychology student named leah and her boyfriend jordan who was some type of biology major. they seemed happy to meet you but happier to make googoo eyes at each other and go to the party, which meant you most likely wouldn't see them again once you got there unless you stumble upon the two in a hallway closet or bathroom. there was also mel, a nursing student who seemed slightly closed off but agreed with you when you mentioned this party would probably be loud and gross. a bunch of athletes celebrating a win is a recipe for disaster.

"finally, the campion herself arrives!" jordan cheers and raises his bag of chips up to abby who's walking up to your group, wearing a simple college sweatshirt and some black sweatpants. for something so basic she makes it look good, and if you didn't have any integrity and weren't pissed off about this party bet thing you'd tell her so. but you are pissed off and still have about half of your integrity, so you keep your mouth shut.

when she bumps into your shoulder with a 'told ya i'd win' you're about to reply with a snarky remark when a tall man with dark blonde hair and another with tanned skin and brown hair come up beside her and raise her up on their shoulders, chanting 'anderson, anderson!' on repeat. you look to nora who just rolls her eyes and tells you that she'll introduce you in the car.

you're all split into two cars, with you riding with the two strange men along with abby and nora. they tell you the guysin the front seats are owen and manny. also that they've all known each other since they were teens which definitely doesn't make you feel like an outsider. but manny keeps trying to joke around with you so you don't feel too awkward which you can appreciate. even if you don't really laugh.

when the car stops at a giant white frat house you arent surprised in the slightest. you were about to prepare yourself for another night of drinking and finding another hookup when abby throws her arm over your shoulder and decides that she likes you enough to spend most of the night by your side.

she walks with you to get drinks and then leaves to go celebrate with some other friends while you sit and nurse your drink for a while. it leaves you some time to think, asking yourself why you're acting like you're trapped here when you could just leave whenever you want, but you don't understand why you don't. maybe it's because you'll use any excuse to have a good reason to drown out your problems with alcohol. or because you're lonely but don't feel like admitting it.

after around half an hour she comes back and sits on one side of you while you talk to nora and joins in. she asks about your major, if you're from seattle, and how you met nora. after a while you stop rolling your shoulders when she asks a new question and settle into conversation with her. and after a few hours you learn more about her too, that her dad is a neurosurgeon and she's following in his footsteps with her pre-med major, but that as soon as she tried hockey she knew she wanted to do it forever. she tells you that she doesn't really like drinking, she knows most of the people on the other women's sports teams, that she used to date owen-

you choke on a sip of your vodka and nora pats your back with a chuckle. you were definitely off your game tonight. but besides that hiccup you have to admit talking to them is enjoyable. even their friend manny comes over and dares you to do shots with him and you were seriously about to do it before the girls talked you out of it.

over the next few weeks, you talk more and more to the anderson girl, to the point where you're staying up at night to talk to her over the phone and waking up to your roommate giggling in your face. once she was so tired after a game she started snoring and you would not let her forget it. just like she wouldn't let you forget the time you got wasted at a sorority party, got on top of the kitchen island, and danced to a city girls' song before she set you back on the floor.

you wouldn't ever admit it out loud, hell you had barely admitted it to yourself, but you had started to catch feelings for abby. there was nothing more mebarrasing and cliche to you than falling for your straight friend, and you really didnt want to be on eof those girls who did so. but in your defense, it was really hard not to. she was annoyingly pretty, lord knows how many times youe admired the freckles dusting her cheeks down to her shoulders. she was strong and smart and every other positive character trait your brain could conure up.

but the worst thing was just how nice she was to you.

in hindsight, the way everything fell into place was honestly the dumbest thing ever. you were at a county fair leah had heard about and asked you to come with her along with jordan and abby. obviously, the couple went in their own direction after a while, which left you and abby to wander around getting on the different rides and getting your reaction to abby eating her first-ever funnel cake. but then it was later, and the two of you had stopped at one of those rigged pop up games and you bet her twenty bucks that she wouldn't win, and if there was one thing you knew about abby it was that she took bets very seriously, so when she won and had to pick her prize you were a little confused when she picked your favorite animal and handed it to you.

when you asked her how she knew it was your favorite, all she could say was 'you said they were cool a few times and they're your profile picture on your private instagram, so i just put the pieces together.'

you went home and didnt talk to her for a week. or at least you tried to, because after a weekend of ignoring her calls and convincing tonya to bring you meals from the lunch hall the blonde girl banged her fist on your door and basically demanded you tell her what your problem was.

"i don't see what the big fucking deal is. i'm allowed a little bit of space from you, abigail."

she scoffed and you could see her tongue bunch in the corner of her mouth before her body pushed past yours until she was standing in the middle of your room.

"i'm not saying you can't have space and you know im not. i mean, one second we're having a good time together and then you just shut me out for no reason. if i did something wrong i need you to tell me. i can't read your damn mind, y/n."

sometimes it feels like you can, you think with a snort, feeling slightly embarrassed by the angry look on her face. you collect yourself and cross your arms over your chest. "i just don't feel like talking to you right now, so if you could please get out now-"

"nope. not gonna leave until you tell me what's wrong."

sometimes you could forget just how damn stubborn she was. it mostly popped up on the ice, and you had once overheard her coach say that if she wasn't such a great player she'd be benched most of the time.

"do you realize how annoying you're being right now?"

"don't care."

"i don't give a shit if you have muscles, i can still kick your ass."

"i'd really like to see you try, princess."

you groan and cover your face, but not before raising them in a choking gesture. you walk backward and sit on your bed, trying to take a breather before anderson follows you and resting on the ground in front of you, her large palms smoothing up and down your thighs.

"please, y/n, just...just tell me what i did and i'll fix it, i promise."

you've never been one to cry. or maybe you had been when you were a young child before your father taught you that 'crying doesn't achieve success, at least not the kind you want.' but you can see how much abby cares about you in her eyes and you know that despite you being unreasonable she'll put up with it anyway. your eyes start to sting and you rest your head in the crook of her neck.

she doesn't force you to say anything more than you want, rubbing the expanse of your back while another hand gently pats your head. after a long minute, you pull your head up and find that the space between your two faces is almost nonexistent, your eyes dart from her eyes to her lips, and before you can say anything else her hand is on the back of your neck and she's bringing your lips down to hers.

its soft and sweet and her lips are soft and feel like heaven against yours, and she doesn't give you a second to be confused about what's happening because she's making the kiss deeper and pulling your body closer to hers by putting her arms under yours and pressing you in by the back of your shoulders. you throw your arms over her shoulders and behind her neck and decide that you're going to enjoy this moment for as long as you can.

but eventually, you need to breathe, pulling your head back and letting out a shaky breath of air when abby just moves her ministrations to your neck, sucking and biting on the skin until it bruises.

"i..i thought you were straight." is all you can manage to voice, the feeling of her body pressed into yours and her teeth nipping at your neck making your mind hazy.

she laughs and kisses your neck a few times before looking you in the eyes. "well, i never actually said i was, you just assumed so."

"seriously? you dated owen? he's the dullest straight girl choice i've ever met. and we live in washington" you scoffed.

"yeah, well. that was a long time ago. i've moved on to bigger and better things."

she plants a big overdramatic kiss on your cheek, repeating so on the other side of your face until she can see your smile and hear you giggle. when you both calm down a little she backs up and wears a more serious look on her face.

"i care about you. more than i've cared about anyone before." she smiles, her thumb rubbing over the back of one of your hands. "except maybe my dad, obviously. and nora, she was kinda my best friend before you. but you get what im trying to say."

you laugh and nod at her. "i understand. i...like you too. a lot."

"geez, you're seriously emotionally stunted. but i'll take what i can't get, you'll warm up to me eventually." she slaps her hands on your thighs, ignoring the annoyed look on your face before scooching your body up until you're laying down on your bed, her body gently flopping down onto yours.

"abby! get the hell off, you're wearing your outside clothes!"

"cmon, just five more minutes."

and as much as you complained during those five minutes, you both knew you didnt mind that much.

after that things were really nice. at least for the most part. you were officially abby's girlfriend, which she had asked if you wanted to be the day after you two semi-confessed your feelings. she knew that this kind of commitment was new to you, and the last time it didn't go so well for her, so you both decided it'd be best to take it slow.

(slow meaning you did everything you two did before with the added bonus of making out whenever you wanted. you weren't complaining.)

but keeping things on the down low was a bit of a struggle. abby was a huge fan of pda, always found hugging one of her teammates after a successful game or cuddling with someone on movie nights. she would hug you when you were just friends, but now that you were comfortable with her touching you more in private it started to bleed into public life, her hand looking for yours when walking around or giving you a kiss on the cheek after you aced another test.

the next problem was your friends. you had told nora over a late night phone call while manny had found out when he had walked into the living room of his and abbys shared dorm and found the two of you with your shirts off and kissing on the couch, shouting in both spanish and english about how his eyes burned but he was happy for you both.

you both knew you could trust the two of them with your 'secret', but you didn't expect that end-of-the-year party owen and manny decided to invite you both to.

it was a mix of things really. you were going to just spend time with your friends and nothing more, but you were feeling really pent up. when you and abby decided to take things slow, that also meant sex. which at first was all right with you, hookups were a lot different than sharing yourself with someone you really cared about. but abby was just so effortlessly hot, and now since hockey season was over she had more time to spend with you and it was driving you up the damn wall. it got to the point that you found yourself nearly always on the brink of an orgasm when after a long day she'd press you into her bed and kiss you until you felt dizzy.

so when she decided to go to the party in a tight long-sleeved top and a normal pair of jeans, you definitely should not have been all over her as you were.

(to be fair. she was also on you like white on rice. you had decided to don a tube top with a mini skirt, figuring it couldn't hurt to dress up a little for a simple party. especially since it made your girlfriend look at you like she wanted to eat you alive.)

after mingling a bit and getting yourself a drink, you meet up with some of your friends and start to talk to leah about some drama in one of her classes when abby rejoins you, moving your body so your body is resting into hers. you aren't used to such a public display of affection, but this alcohol is blurring any desire you had to hide that she was yours and you were hers.

"god, you guys are so cute together it makes me sick." nora laughs into her red solo cup, shaking her head at your adorable but annoying affection.

leah's eyebrows scrunch up and she starts to pinch at your arm. "wait, am i missing something? you two are dating?"

at that point, some other people were listening in and looking in at the two of you, including none other than owen moore. now, you and moore were always cordial, but you wouldn't call him a good friend like you would the others. you always felt that whenever he saw or heard about you abby spending time together or heard about how close you two had gotten so quickly, he would smile silently while staring at you like he wanted to burn lasers through your brain.

and he was doing the exact same thing now, his grip on his bear so tight you feared the glass would break. somehow you were the only one who noticed.

"yes, we're together. finally managed to convince this one that jocks aren't just big dumb idiots a few weeks ago." abby's talking breaks you out of your thoughts, her arms snaking around your waist and pulling you to sit on her lap.

you cant help but roll your eyes. "i never once said that."

"well you were thinking it. i could tell."

some of the people who you didnt know and who were friends of friends said congrats, how cute they thought the two of you were, etc. it kind of weirds you out to have all these people paying attention to you just because of who you were with, but abby's quips to any weird remarks you didn't want to acknowledge made you feel better about anything.

but later on, when the two of you are unseriously dancing in the living room, owen comes over and asks abby to talk in private, leaving you to dance with some girls you recognized from the last party. but after three songs pass and abby still hasn't come back, you get a weird feeling in your chest and decide to go looking for the two. you head upstairs and down a few hallways before you hear two voices in a heated argument, and after numerous visits to her games, you can recognize abby's yelling anywhere.

before you can knock on the door to ask if something is wrong, it opens and you see a red-faced owen, not even saying anything before he knocks into your shoulder and goes back downstairs, clearly ignoring your call of 'fucking dick' to his back.

you scoff and shake your head, turning back around to say something to abby before you slightly step back at the look on her face. its dark, like if owen didn't leave she would have kicked his ass first, and now it's trained at you. you know she'd never hurt you, though. partially because she cares about you too much, and partially because you always keep a taser in your back pocket whenever you go to a party.

"abby? what's wrong? did he fucking say something to you?

she laughs before grabbing your arm and pulling you into the room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. her long legs take seconds to reach the bed, her arm releasing when your body sits and bounces slightly on the bed as she stands above you.

"its...its nothing, just owen being a dick like always."

her voice is strained and her hands are tensing into fists, telltale signs that she was really pissed off. you hold her hands in yours, pressing little kisses to her knuckles. normally you hated being so sappy, but you knew that being cute with her was a quick way to calm her down.

"don't worry. i can guarantee one of these days someone is gonna kick his ass. unless i do it first, and you know i want to." you joke and smile when she laughs, gripping her hands so she can sit on the bed next to you.

"yeah, youre right."

"im always right. you should learn that if you wanna stick with me."

she shakes her head before looking at you in silence, and you feel your face get hot under her gaze. you'd never admit it to her but seeing her so angry really did something for you. the bottom of your leg rubs against hers, and her eyes dart down before trailing up your legs to the point where your skirt is starting to ride up your bare thighs.

"here, babe? seriously?"

you sigh, figuring she was right and having your first time together in some stranger's house during a party was horribly tacky. you start to move your leg before she grabs it and puts it on the bed before grabbing you and resting you in her lap.

"i didn't tell you to stop."

so yes, you did get tacky in a strangers house. and back in abby's dorm. and again after you both showered.

so if there was one thing you could ever thank owen for, it was finally giving you both the push you needed to take the next step in your relationship. but after that night things were a little strained, as abby and owen were on a no-contact basis, their fight having something to deal with them and maybe you although she wouldn't go into details, which just led to this drama also spreading to mel since she was dating owen and was always pretty neutral when it came to you and tense when it came to abby, and mel was close friends to leah who was now close to you and...

it was complicated.

but you were used to not having people around. you had abby, nora, manny, and tonya, and that was all you really needed. speaking of tonya, you don't think you've ever seen anyone as happy for someone else's relationship as you did when you told tonya that you and abby got together. she said it was 'half happy that you found someone for you and half happy that someone will finally get the stick out of your ass.'

but your bliss was partially broken when your mother called a week after you had your last finals to let you know she and her father were going to be visiting seattle to talk to you about something important. at this point you hadn't talked to either of your parents since winter when your dad had not so discreetly told you he would be on your ass about skiing again as soon as your leg was alright again. and you were definitely going to dread every minute you had to spend trying to cordial to them, don't even mention finally introducing them to your girlfriend who you so far had never told them about.

for a few days after the call, you must have been acting weird because abby could tell something was wrong and took you to a relaxing little cafe she had found when she first got to the city. you're sipping on a milkshake while abby does the same across from you, digging into her stack of blueberry pancakes, waiting for you to tell her what's going on while she talks about her schedule now that school is out.

"manny's gonna be gone for a month because of his music internship, so i was wondering if you wanted to come and stay at mine while he's gone. we can watch movies, dance to music, or we can practice those recipes i saw on tiktok."

"mhm, that sounds nice, babe." you continue to at least show minimal attention to what she's saying, briefly slurping at your shake until she speaks again.

"yup. but after that, i might have to leave for a while, i haven't seen my dad in forever and he wanted me to stay for two weeks while my aunt is visiting salt lake."

her words slowly die out when she notices how you stop slurping your drink, your eyes staring into space as your thumb scratches at your palm.

throughout your relationship, you had told abby the rundown of your relationship with your parents maybe once. at first, it was because it was a touchy subject and you would be embarrassed if she knew the reason for the way you acted the way you did and thought your baggage was too much for her.

and then it was because deep down you were jealous. they had their ups and downs, but abby had such a pure relationship with her father that sometimes it made you sick. while he didnt flaunt his wealth because of his principles, but abby would tell you about all the times when she was younger that her dad would give her the best birthday parties, take her with him to conferences around the world, and made sure she had anything she desired.

so when you had to tell her that the most your dad did was give you a break to be a normal adult instead of shaping you into a champion, you don't think there was ever a time that you secretly envied her more.

"this is about your dad, isn't it?" she whispered, reaching across the table to take your hand in hers. you nodded, relieved that your girlfriend could read you like a book and you didnt have to say it out loud.

"could you tell me more about it?"

shit.

you sighed, a deep breath leaving your body and clearing your head.

"my parents are gonna be here soon. said they wanted to talk to me about something "important", which means my dad thinks i've had enough time to recover from my leg being nearly snapped in two because he thinks he knows better than the doctor. but hey, maybe when i was gone he got another fuckin degree to throw in my face."

while you ranted abby never said a word, just paying close attention and providing you comfort. out of everyone in the crew, she was always the person people went to talk to when they needed it. she said it was something she got from her mom.

"all my life he's been like this. just pushing me and pushing me until im at the point of breaking until i use my anger to win. there's no doubt he's still doing it. heard my brother is being scouted at his games and he's only fifteen."

abby nods and presses a kiss to your hand, treading carefully with what she says next. "your dad sounds...horrible, honestly. he never...hit you did he?"

you feel your body jerk back and both of your eyes go big at your reaction.

"no, no he would never. im serious. wouldn't make sense from a logical standpoint, id be in front of other people all the time and any injuries would fuck up my skiing."

"well that's a bleak way of looking at it, but im glad he didnt. but the other shit is still bad."

"yeah. definitely not looking forward to dealing with that again in two weeks."

"i know, but im here, and im gonna stick by you every step of the way, alright? even if your parents find out they hate me and curse my bloodline."

you couldn't help but snort at her. "nobody could hate you, anderson. you would annoy them too much and make dirty bets against them."

"what? that wasn't a dirty bet! you'd just never seen my skills before and i used it to my advantage."

"whatever you say abs."

abbys reassurance and patience helped greatly, and by the time you met your parents at their hotel for breakfast, you weren't nervous about whatever bullshit they had to say.

but for some odd reason, they were very cordial. your mom asked you about school, how your grades were, and how you liked your chosen major. when it got to the point if you were seeing anyone, you not so subtly gushed about abby and she seemed really happy for you. your dad even praised you for picking another sportsman, avoiding your look while he ate his eggs.

a week later you even had the courage to introduce them to abby, who told you she would cook something for all of you to eat.

that tiktok recipe she was talking about? it was ratatouille. and you had to admit it was delicious, and you wondered how abby was so good at so many things and she told you when she was a kid she wanted to learn how to do basically everything and her dad was more than happy to indulge her. sometimes you really wondered how she didn't appear to be so spoiled.

but your girl was nothing if not a charmer, and by the end of the night your mom was gushing over how much she liked abby and thought she was a great match for you.

your dad was...your dad. he acted polite, asking abby about her intentions, if she was dedicated to her studies and sports and you at the same time. blah blah blah. abby gave perfect human resources-like answers that she knew would make you giggle and loosen up.

once dinner was over your mother insisted on staying a little while longer to watch a movie, finding out she and your girlfriend both had soft spots for mamma mia and grease and planned to drink some wine and let loose for once. while the two were watching meryl streep panic on screen your dad tapped you on the shoulder and asked if he could speak to you in private, and you were mentally prepared to get into yet another argument.

"i know i'm the last person who gets to say this but..you've seemed to have really grown this past year. I'm proud of you."

"thanks. i guess."

he sighs, shifting on his feet. "i know i've always been hard on you and your brothers. i just-i knew that if you had guidance you could be phenomenal at whatever you do."

"yeah, dad, but that doesn't mean forcing me to train for ten hours a day when i was still in third grade." you could list more instances of him being overbearing and partially ruining your childhood, but you don't feel like being the person who makes the conversation go sour.

"i know. trust me, i know. look, your mother has us going to a shrink and...one of the steps is asking for forgiveness and whatever mumbo jumbo."

you almost snort but pass it off as a sneeze. your dad in therapy was about as believable as a talking donkey.

"well, it's nice to hear dad but it's not gonna be just as easy as being nice to me and my girlfriend for a night."

"i know. which is why i wanted to show you this."

he pulls out and his phone and after a few taps shows you an article. you read the word 'olympics' and nearly blow before he cuts you off.

"just listen, alright? one of the big coaches was caught and fired for doping a bunch of the players, so they're postponing the winter games for another few years for investigations to see if there's any more misconduct."

"are you serious?"

"deadly. and i know with your leg and your schooling you'll have your hands full but, i figured the best way i knew how to bond with you was to help you. it'd be enough time to get extensive physical therapy and train up. but only if you want to."

"dad, i. i really don't know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything, at least not now. just promise me you'll think about it, alright? and if by next spring you still don't want to, I'll never bring it back up again."

after that, your mother comes and says they should get going to get enough sleep for their flight tomorrow, and you bid your parents goodbye with stiff hugs and a genuine smile.

for the next few months into your sophomore year your on the fence. when you were a kid, despite the pain and the tears and the bruises, there was nothing you loved more than skiing. you swear that the adrenaline rushes you would get speeding down slopes were better than anything you've ever experienced, even sex.

(when abby heard you say that one night on the couch, she pouted and wouldn't touch you for a week, telling you to go back to those stupid slopes if that's how you felt.)

but the point was that you were basically going through a beginning life crisis. either stick with the new normal you've created and potentially miss out on fulfilling your childhood dreams, or take a risk and potentially come out more damaged than before.

you were planning on spending the next thanksgiving mulling it over, but to your shock baby invited you to come with her to her dad's house for thanksgiving with her family. when checking in with her to see if she and her dad would be ok with this big step, she told you it was actually her dad's idea and she'd be more than happy to have you meet her family.

you swear to god you have never been more nervous on a plane than you were on the flight to salt lake, only being soothed by the constant free drinks you get in first class, the six hundred page book in your hands, and abbys large hand constantly rubbing on your thigh and back. you suggested that you both join the mile-high club as a joke and she seemed a little too into it.

"babe please, i promise ill be quick. i can even put my fingers in your mouth."

"abby, i was just joking. im not gonna do that and get kicked off the plane. god, you're so fuckin weird."

"you make me weird. pretty please? ill pull out the puppy eyes."

"i really don't give a fuck."

and you come to find out that abby's stories were true because her dad is so weirdly nice. he greets you at the airport like he's known you all your life, and is eager to find conversation the whole drive to his house where you both are staying.

you were glad that like you abby had a smaller family, or at least one she spent thanksgiving with. after her father you only had to introduce yourself to her aunt and her small family, a husband who you have to look down at and likes to boast about his coin collection, and three children. the eldest, ashley, was closer in age to you and abby and was clearly abby's favorite cousin. the middle child was a wild child named kris, who didn't seem at all phased that you were a stranger and kept asking you if you'd ever heard of their favorite anime series.

now, you've never been the best with children, you repeatedly told your mother to throw your baby brother in the trash when you were six, but you couldn't help but fawn over abby's baby cousin lyle, the cutest infant you've ever seen who after a few hours of fussing because of the time change, he calms down into a smiling drooling little thing who, although he keeps tugging at your hair when his mom hands you to him, seemed to actually enjoy your presence and laughs like its the funniest thing ever.

you didnt catch the way abby looked at you fondly while you were playing around with her cousin or the way she swatted her father away when he called her out on it.

so thanksgiving was easy, a peaceful week full of meeting kind people and eating some surprisingly good food. but you didn't even get a week of peace after before abby brought it up.

christmas.

yes the holiday was full of joy and warmth when you were a child. but after a mini teenage rebellion and your energy you just...gave up on the holiday completely. last year you spent it alone inside your dorm which wasn't the worst thing on earth. you got to watch corny feel-good movies like national lampoons, drink hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, and had free reign to the library since the librarian apparently used to watch your games on tv. it wasn't like it used to be, but it was enough.

"so, you're coming with us to the cabin right?" nora reaches across the library table and takes one of your fries from the fast food you sneaked in. for some reason she refused to order her own fries, content to pluck the ones from your container.

"what? what cabin?"

"god, abby hasn't told you about this by now? i thought she would have taken you there already and made it her love shack or something." she quickly ducks her head when you toss a burnt fry at her, looking around to make sure no one saw. "it's her dad's cabin at one of the ski ranges in the mountains, she invites us every year for christmas break or new years if we can't make it."

"first, you're a perv. second, i don't know why she hasn't told me about it. id probably tease her for it anyway."

"well when you see her next ask her, because you definitely have to come with us this year."

"i don't know, nors. you know how i feel about skiing right now..."

"you don't have to ski! we literally never do, as sad as it is. we just hang out, go out for drinks, and hit the skiing town. im telling you cold resort parties are insane."

you take a minute to mull it over, staring into space as you tap your fingers on the hardwood table. nora fingers tap on the top of your hand.

"i understand you're going through things, with your dad and all. you don't have to come if you don't want to. but i know we'd really enjoy it if you came, especially abby."

you nod and eat another fry before gegging back to the novel you were reading, some 'all-time classic' abby had said you had to read.

you saw abby a few hours after that, yet again staying the night at her dorm to kick off the following weekend. when you entered using your spare key the smell of chinese food instantly hit you, and it took you by surprise since abby normally insisted on cooking for you and manny.

you set down your things and kicked off your shoes before heading into the little kitchenette, hearing the sound of rather loud whispers that stopped as soon the roommates saw you, noodles stuffed into both of their mouths.

"what the fuck are yall starin at?"

manny snorts before making some weird excuse for leaving, telling you he's meeting up with some meteorology student at a bar and he won't be home until tomorrow. you bid him. a quick goodbye before turning back to abby, the blonde picking through her food.

its only then that you notice the gauze wrapped around her palm, quickly cross the threshold to gently but firmly raise her hand up to your face to observe it.

your about to go on a triade when you see that sad pout on her face.

"tell me who did this to you." you grumble, putting on a fake deep voice.

she chuckles and shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"only because of you. tell me what happened."

"i was trying to cook before we ordered takeout and i just...got distracted and burned my hand. its not a big deal, don't worry about it."

you tell by the way her shoulders were tensing that she was getting into one of her moods, always hating when she failed at something and hating even more when people kept asking her about it.

"well im always gonna worry about, something that's also your fault by the way. what made you distracted."

"nothing."

"abs."

"please just drop it."

"abigail."

she groans before slumping her head into her arms on the counter.

so you decide to drop it. at least for a little while. you put away the rest of the food, deciding to eat the box she bought for you after her mood had been resolved before figuring you'd leave her alone while you took a shower.

but if there was one thing you knew about abby, it was that she took 'golden retriever energy' to a whole nother level. aka most of the time she couldn't leave you alone and followed you near everywhere. after only a few minutes, you heard the shower door open and felt her large arms circle around your waist and her head rest on your shoulders.

"i wanna ask you something. there's this cabin my dad owns that we all head to for winter break and stuff-"

you felt your heart skip a beat. to be honest part of the reason you were nervous about abby asking you this was because you were second-guessing yourself and your relationship. you hadn't even been together for a full year at this point, and even if you knew you loved her and that she adored you, you didnt want to be the one to bring up this thing she does with people she's known for years and get your heart damaged.

"and i wanted to invite you to go with us because i just know youd make it feel so much more special."

"i feel like a 'but' goes at the end of that sentence."

she rubs her head into your shoulder more, kissing at the soft and wet skin of your shoulder blade.

"i didn't tell you much. about my fight with owen. but everyone knows we haven't been talking much, but he's still been my friend since elementary, and i was hoping that maybe during the trip we could resolve things. but if he ever said something to you or about you i think id go fucking crazy."

your turn around and hold her head in your hands. her body is still slumped so her head is more at your level and her pretty blue eyes stare right into yours.

"i appreciate that. your slight anger issues make me feel honored." a smile quirks on her face and she nuzzles her head into your palms more. "and as much as he pisses me off, i don't know how i feel about causing a greater rift between you and your friends. ive only been with you less than a hear, he's known you for-"

"year or not doesn't matter. you mean...so much to me i can't put into words. the only reason i was nervous all day was that i didnt know how to make this sound like i wasn't putting him before you because i wouldn't. ever."

you look at her a bit longer, swiping away wet pieces of her hair back from her face so you can see all of her. because she's looking at you like she can do the same.

you both take an intimate shower without a word, helping the other bathe and lather her hair in apricot shampoo she's become addicted to. once you exit, dry off, and change into some matching fluffy pajamas she bought for you both, you finally head back to the kitchen to eat your food before turning on a movie.

it was only because you both decided to choose some random movie that the stupid thought crossed into your mind.

"could you imagine if we were that touchy all the time? we're already halfway there and it drives your friends nuts." you poked her cheek while you were resting on her, her arm wrapped around your shoulders while your legs intertwined on the couch.

"what do you mean?"

"just like, overdoing it. always with an arm around the other, making eyes across the room. if you wanna get extreme you could carry me on your back."

"or i could carry you on my front."

the shift of her hips and the tone of her voice makes you turn your head to look at her, nearly busting out laughing at the way her eyes are glued to the screen while she chews on her lower lip.

"stop doing that."

"doing what? im watching the movie. watch the movie with me."

"this is just like on the plane. y'know i was kidding about the exhibitionist thing at first-"

"baby, please."

"please what?"

she groaned while you just giggled at her, moving your bodies so she was sitting up on the couch and you were on top of her, adjusting your hips so you were straddling her waist.

"what're you thinking about, bunny?"

a subtle whine escaped from her throat and you smirked in triumph. there was nothing your girl loved more than being called the softest and cutest pet names, and you would frequently use it to your advantage, like the time when she refused to help you cheat on a test 'on principle' and you rested your face on her thigh from under the desk with a 'please, princess?' and she happily gave you the answers after roughly grinding herself on your tongue.

"i just...maybe if we played it up at the cabin owen would finally fuck off and realize im yours. i just thought it'd be funny."

you felt a warm feeling in your chest at the thought, showing your girl all the affection she craved from you on an idyllic vacation while also showing that dick owen who's boss. maybe then he'd finally let whatever his issue with you go. or not. at this point you didnt care.

"ok. we can do it."

"what? are you serious? i was half joking. i don't wanna make you do anything you don't want to-"

you cut off her sweet rambles with a press of your lips to hers. her arms brought you in closer until your breasts were squished into hers.

when abby texted the group chat the next morning next to you in bed to let the others know you'd be joining, you couldn't help but feel warm at the replies.

manny : thank god, i need a drinking partner since no one ever wants irish hot chocolate

leah : because the last time you made it you got drunk by five pm and kept singing baby its cold outside while doing both parts

jordan : and badly

manny : haters

nora : omg thank god

nora : this is all because of me btw

nora : tell y/n we're gonna have sooo much fun

manny : wait is she gonna ski

jordan : stop.

you giggled at your friends' antics. you were already imagining all the crazy things that would happen on the trip and happily listened to all the stories abby had to tell you.

mel : cant wait for the trip! hoping ben's is still open.

owen : 👍🏻

a snort escaped from you. "oh hes so pissed."

"definitely." abby agreed before turning the phone off and snuggling into your neck to relax for a little while longer. "prepare, he's probably just gonna get angrier from our masterful plan."

"technically my plan. and are you sure you still wanna do it? i don't wanna drive a wedge between you guys."

"he started that at that party. either he's gonna deal with me changing for the better or im gonna leave him in the dust. now shush, im going to sleep."

your hand smooths through abby's locks as she drifts back into sleep, and you soon follow her into it, dreaming of pale snow and the sight of the slopes.

the nex two weeks before break starts you're horrifically busy, finishing up some tests while also buying and packing everything you'll need for the trip. which is really just an excuse for you to get a bunch of those cute thick sweaters you saw on ebay but that's neither here nor there.

once your last class was finished abby immediately called an uber to take you to the airport, citing that as the host she always headed to the cabin earlier than everyone else to fix it up and stock up on little things, everyone would need or forget like extra blankets and lots and lots of water. during the trip to the airport, waiting in the airport since you were both 'get there hours before the flight' girls, and on the flight itself, abby was telling you stories of the cabin and what has happened on the past few trips that you should know about.

apparently, the cabin (in aspen, which you teased her was so basic) was bought by her grandparents (more teasing) for family trips when her dad was little. but as his siblings got older and started their own families the trips dwindled down, until his parents decided to just leave the place to him, telling him not to sell it for anything since it was worth a fat load of cash by now. hed take abby and her mom there before she passed, and then once she turned sixteen told her he trusted her enough to bring her friends up there if they could.

"honestly, i think it was part of him being nice and feeling sad we didn't spend much time together then. we were still mourning and he was always working." she sinks into her first-class seat, sipping on her complimentary ginger ale can. "but we're better now, and i get to have a laid-back vacation with my friends every year."

"sounds like a win-win to me. traumatic way you got there and all."

"you of all people saying that is hilarious, truly."

a few hours of talking and napping later and you've landed in colorado, a rental car waiting for you in the airport parking lot.

"abs, you are so secretly bougie. like, why didn't you rent a private car that time yours was in the shop and we were stuck in the rain downtown?"

"it's for emergencies and the necessary."

driving through the roads of aspen snowmass is something close to magical. at this point, the sun has set and the twinkling lights of the villages are everywhere, and you can see a plethora of christmas decorations inside shop windows.

when abby parks outside of the cabin your jaw is close to dropping, and you have to hold it up once you step inside. there was obviously a lot of wood, making up the floors, walls, and beams that connect both. but it was also decorated with relaxed brown and cream furniture.

"i want you to know if we get married, im not signing a prenup."

abby cackles before sneaking up behind you and tickling your waist, cackling at your shriek followed by a scowl.

"'if' babe, really? nice to know you're so committed."

"i'll be more committed if you give me a tour of this place."

the cabin was big, of course. enough bedrooms for your whole group and a few more. you honestly couldn't pick your favorite. there was a game room with a pool table you were just itching to beat jordan and leah at, a hot tub outside on the deck looking down onto the village that looked like the perfect place to drink champagne with nora talking shit about her recent ex.

"now, this is what i really wanted you to see," abby smiles before pushing open a wide set of doors on the upper floor and revealing to you the grand bedroom. there's a giant bed against the back wall, with a warm little nook tucked into a bay window.

"it's so nice here abs, really. i can't wait for everyone to get here so we can start doing stuff." you drop your bags by the front of the bed and flop your behind onto it, loving the way it bounces you up and down a bit. and you can tell that abby also loves it by the way she's staring at the way your boobs jiggle.

"im glad you like it, baby. but we don't have to wait for the others to get here to have some fun." a pervy little smile lights up her face and she starts inching towards you, making stupid little grabby hands as she does so.

"you're insatiable. aren't we supposed to be making sure this place is ready for everyone else?"

"wasn't it your idea for us to play everything up for fun? that includes sex. a lot of it. strap-ons are allowed on planes, by the way. and other things."

"...seriously?"

"seriously."

at this point, her arms are caging you into the plush of the comforter, and you don't know whether to look at the veins in her arms or her eyes or her mouth-

"you're staring, pretty."

"well you're all i can see, gorgeous."

she presses a soft kiss to the underside of your chin, her tounge poking out to lick down your neck.

"god, abs, please."

"please what?"

you groan and she just laughs at you.

the hardest part of being a switch was that abby could just throw shit back in your face when she became more dominant. it was both infuriating and arousing.

“im not gonna say it."

"you sure?" her large hand slips beneath the band of your pants until its resting over your underwear, teasing you.

"yes i a-am!" your refusal is cut off when two of her thick fingers slide inside of you, filling you up in the most delicious way. it doesn't help your case that there's no restriction, the wetness between your thighs letting her know just how much you were enjoying this.

"y'know, your master plan isn't exactly gonna work if you have an attitude with me, baby." her words are gravelly as she speakes into the crease of your neck, occasionally looking up at you to ingrain your reactions into her memory.

"god, abs."

"this is one the things i love most about you acting like a brat, just means i get to fuck and love on you until it goes away. and i've got all the time in the fuckin world."

just when you start getting close to your orgasm, you could've sworn in the distance you heard the sound of a door opening before closing a few minutes later. the feeling of abby kissing you and adding a third finger inside of you. you decided to just drop it

later on, after a nice long shower and putting on this cute warm sweater you bought, you and abby decided it was time to head out and get enough groceries to last for around two weeks until everyone else would arrive and decide what meals they would want after. it was very entertaining to watch abby standing in a fluorescently lit market aisle decide if she wanted to make a giant chicken pot pie or some creamy chicken soup one of her teammates told her about. she just stuck her tongue out when you looked at her.

once you returned to the cabin you could hear some music coming from inside the house, and despite your initial worry abby just smiled and rushed inside, your brain seriously wondering if you had chosen correctly romantically.

you headed inside with a few of the bags, setting them on the kitchen counters before heading to the source of the music that appeared to be coming from the living room. once you cross the threshold you are happily surprised to see your girlfriend and manny talking and laughing in the middle of the room.

"ah! nice to know abs hasn't broken you already." manny comes over to give you a big hug before setting you down and shaking your shoulders, just laughing when you start smacking his hands.

"jeez, what is with you guys? be normal."

"you forget im abby's roommate. this is because of you. you gave me this trauma."

you roll your eyes before patting him on the shoulder.

"ok, ok. why did you come early? when do the others get here?" abby asks from her place still on the couch.

"what, i cant just come because i love and miss two of my best friends."

the room is silent as you both stare at him.

"well just so you know, that was half true. but also," he looks down a dark hallway before tugging you closer to the couch so he can speak quietly. "mel and owen are here."

you blink. "thats...odd."

"very odd, but maybe it's a good thing? who knows, maybe owen's gotten over the whole fight and wants to put it to bed." abby turns to you, those big blue eyes filled with hope that you don't have the heart to squash with a joke.

"yeah, maybe."

"well if he did do that, i don't think he's in the mood for it now." manny chuckles.

"why not?"

"he was confused to see a car in the driveway, so he came by two hours ago and left like two minutes later. his face was as red as a tomato, you know how he looks when he's flushed."

oh my god.

you turned to abby and her cheeks were puffed, a clear sign she was trying not to laugh.

well, it looks like your plan was already working.

the next three days were more laid back, just spent taking a chance to relax and sleep in after your grueling semester. you decided to spend these days exploring more of the cabin, admiring all of the rooms and the random really pretty art pieces on some of the walls.

you swore that nothing could beat the bliss you felt on that second day, waking up to the faint sun in your eyes and abby gently snoring next to you, deciding to cook up a bunch of waffles, one of the meals you excelled at, and read a four hundred page book on the sofa.

(the plan was still in motion at this point, just more tame.

once jordan, leah, and nora came things really took a turn for the exciting. after hearing that you'd been cooped in the house these past few days, leah insisted you come with them to some bars and other hot spots around town. you hadn't been drinking much lately but figured that since you were surrounded by people you trusted and a bunch of strangers you'd be able to handle yourself.

and you did.

for the most part.

you just weren't expecting the bartender to be the chillest girl you've ever met and make a killer strawberry daiquiri, because before you knew it they were playing some old-school song over the speakers and were hanging off of leah's arm like a koala.

"oh my god, im so glad you invited me out. this place rules. have you tried the daiquiris? serenity said she'd make me one more but you can have it."

"her name is trinity, and you're getting touchy. where's abs?"

you shrug and she shakes her head, looking over your shoulders to see if she can spot the hulking blonde. she waves someone over and then abby is in your vision, a soft expression on her face as she tugs your body into hers.

"how much have you had to drink, baby?"

"mmmm, not too much. i could walk in a gay line. look, i even made a corny joke!"

"yes, you did." she squats down a little bit and you wrap your arms around her neck and your legs around her waist, trying to restrain yourself from making any noises when she lifts you with ease to the amusement of some of the people in the bar.

"how about we head back and take a long bath, pretty. ill even try those rose face masks you bought."

you were about to agree when out of the corner of your eye you catch owen, sitting inside a booth with jordan and manny, sparing looks in your direction.

you smirk down at her and she can already guess what you're thinking, tightening her grip on your hips.

"or we can do that later. and dance now."

you nod and loosen your legs for her to drop you but she just holds you tighter for a moment, leaning her head up to place a heated kiss on your lips before pulling away, fighting to ignore the tiny string of spit that connects your lips to hers.

"ok. now we can dance."

abby told you the next day that owen had asked to talk to her one on one in the morning and she didn't really understand what it meant. he apologized for lashing out at her, apparently, but still didnt agree with some of the 'drastic changes to her personality' that were happening lately.

you really tried to promise her that you wouldn't cuss him out, telling you she'd handle it later after having a conversation with manny to figure out when the hell he started acting like this.

focus on tried.

you and nora were in the kitchen that night making cups of hot chocolate, taking the chance to top them with all the stuff you weren't allowed to as a child. also probably increasing your risks of cavities, but whatever, it was nostalgic. you were laughing at the absurd abundance of whipped cream in her mug and the three candy canes in yours when you heard footsteps coming into the kitchen, looking over to see owen looking over some things in the fridge.

you looked at nora. she looked at you.

"so owen, how are things going with mel?"

his hand pauses over some leftover noodles, gripping it with a fist.

"we're great actually, thanks for asking norsie."

noras eye twitches, bumping into your shoulder before leaving the room to rest in the kitchen and wait for you before starting a movie.

owen turns and suddenly its just the two of you. staring at each other. you with a three-caned hot cocoa and he with a tupperware of linguine.

"what's your fucking problem."

his eyebrows shoot up, almost like he wasn't expecting you to actually bring up the tension at hand.

"y/n, is this really the time-"

"yes, it is the goddamn time to ask you why you've been acting like a dick to me and my girlfriend."

his mouth quirks downwards and you nearly laugh at the realization of the words, the glances, how he would look at abby sometimes like a kicked puppy even when his damn girlfriend sat on his lap, it was all because he couldn't move the fuck on.

"seriously? that's the reason? you've been putting me, putting abby through hell because you're still hung up over her? this is my worst gay nightmare."

"it's because ever since she's been with you shes been different, always acting like she's some better person now that she's over me. like i was the thing holding her back. how do you think that makes me feel, huh?"

you stare at him after his quiet outburst, his face that signature shade of pink and his eyes enraged. but he doesn't scare you.

you walk closer to him, entertained by the way she avoids you like the plague, and presses his back into the refrigerator. you want to lash out more, to scream at him until your throat is sore, to whisper all the little flaws about him you've noticed over the past year that are driving everyone away, but you won't.

"i hope it makes you feel like the heap of shit you are. goodnight, moore."

when abby feels you snuggle into her later that night, feeling your hands squeeze into her stomach from behind you, she asks if everything is ok, and you press a kiss to her cheek and tell her to go back to sleep.

the next morning it's christmas eve, and everyone is in the dining room eating breakfast and talking about how everyone somehow has no plans when you make a suggestion for the day.

"i wanna go hit the slopes today."

you swear most of them look at you like you've grown another head that just started trying to sing the tequila song.

manny continues chewing his eggs before giving you a thumbs up, but you can tell he's secretly been waiting for this. after you first met he asked you if you've ever skied again after your accident and then dropped it when you gave him a death glare. but since you've gotten closer he knows more about how it's not that you can't ski, but almost as if there was a mental block that stopped you from doing so.

"uhm...sure. i can see if we can do that. are you sure you want to?" abby rests her arms on the table and leans her head into yours, trying to give a sense of privacy for your answer.

"i'm not made of glass, abby. it's about time i get back out there. its the only way i'll known for sure about what my dad said."

"what'd your dad say?" mel speaks up from the opposite side of the table, her hand rested over owen's on top of the wood.

you straighten your shoulders. "some stupid doping scandal got the olympics postponed, and my dad said if i wanter he thinks he could get me back in shape by then to apply."

"holy shit! i mean, it's your choice obviously, but that's cool as hell. i think you should do it." jordan exclaims, sipping on his orange juice through a straw.

"wait, what about your leg? you've only had problems with it a couple of times, but is it alright enough to go ski?" nora asks. she was the one who besides abby you've told the most about your skiing problems, and once took you to the pharmacy to pick up your pain meds like it was no hassle.

"it's better if i don't push myself too much, but the blue and reds should be a piece of cake."

you look at abby, and even though she has no idea why you've had this sudden change of heart, she can hear the subtle excitement in your voice and nods her head at you with a smile.

thanks to everyone always waking up at the break of dawn for some reason, you're checked in to the slopes and ready to go only three hours later. jordan and manny even decided to join you and try their hands at the bunny slopes, the rest of the group deciding to find somewhere to sit and relax while they watched you all.

"mama please, you're embarrassing me." manny groans while you tilt his head from side to side to make sure all of the straps for his helmet and goggles are secure. you weren't about to have him getting a concussion and blaming you for bringing him here or the workers for their sloppy job.

"no one knows better ski safety than me. now shush, I'm almost done."

once you were finished you gently smacked his head and headed to the side of where the slope ends, abby beaming at you from over the rail. she was wearing this cute little beanie she bought for the trip and this all-black bomber jacket that made her look so much bigger than she already is.

"hello? babe, did you hear what i said?" abby's hand waves in front of your face bringing you back to focus. you slowly blink and she shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"again, i get that from you."

"whatever." her gloved hand rests on your face and she brings you closer so she can press a soft kiss onto your lips. when she tries to pull away but your arms are wrapping around her neck and pulling her body into yours, starting an impromptu makeout session before jordans wolf call yanks you out of it.

her fingers reach up to push a strand of hair back into your helmet. "are you sure you'll be ok up there? if your leg hurts just pull over to the side and i'll try to come up and help you-"

you cut her off with another kiss. "i'll be fine, princess. don't worry about me. just worry about all those losers I'm gonna show up."

she laughs that cute and loud little laugh of hers and sends you off, waving to you multiple times when she sees you go up the lift.

once you are at the top you go over everything again, making sure all of your equipment is snug, the track in front of you is good, and your skis are tight and before you know it you're standing at the top of the slope breathing heavy and feeling like you're about to have a panic attack.

your head feels like it's on fire and you swear that you are close to passing out when someone taps on your shoulder. you turn around and it's some teen by his face unobstructed by the goggles, a go-pro attached to his helmet.

"hey, sorry if i'm being annoying but, you're y/n l/n right?"

you nod, hoping he can't see the strained expression on your face.

"i just wanted to say that i think you're like, so cool. i saw that video of you training for the super g at thirteen and it changed my life, seriously."

your head felt a bit better at the memory. the adrenaline you got skiing down slopes at top speeds and then dodging the flags your father asked the owners if he could put on the track to help you train. they were nice people, and even let you pick what flags you wanted. a mix of pink and black.

"thank you. i swore that training took everything out of me. but at least i didn't have to worry about how i was doing in algebra."

he laughs and bobs his head. he clears his throat before slightly hopping on his two feet.

"you ok, kid?"

"yes, yeah, i just... ya see i have this youtube channel where i post videos of me riding down the slopes, helping beginners, trying the harder slopes, and stuff like that." he taps the go bro on his helmet. "and i was wondering if you wanted to do like, a friendly little race? i don't know, you don't have to i know you're leg is probably still healing, i can just go if you wa-"

"i'll do it."

his eyes bulge, surprised at your answer. you have to admit you're slightly surprised too. you weren't planning on doing anything more than inching your way down the intermediate slope a few times, but the memory of the super g has energy suddenly rushing through you. besides, it'd be a nice distraction from everything else. your dad. owen. you.

when you both get to the edge of the slope, you let him know you'll give him a twenty-second head start before you follow. he nods, and a few seconds later you're skiing for the first time in years.

and it feels fucking great.

at the speeds you are going the wind is whipping across the unprotected parts of your face, the stinging cold keeping you focused as you turn around trick hills and get your legs used to the feeling of slight strain. but your legs feel fine, and that makes you feel even better.

before long you can see the kid ahead of you and your friends in the close distance, nora's red coat bobbing up and down as she cheers for you. only five seconds after you pass your fan and can hear his slight spluttering before you're bringing your skis to a stop and the ice is flying from underneath them.

your heart is pounding as the kid, who tells you his name is aidan, thanks you for 'kicking his ass, i swear it'll get so many views". he tells you he'll tag you, and you do him one better by saying you'll follow him back and you're a little scared he's about to have a heart attack before he leaves to check in with his parents.

"oh my god oh my god oh my god! that was so fucking cool! i really thought you were gonna wipe out there for a second but I'm glad you didn't." leah squeezes your body in a hug rocking you from side to side. "are you gonna go again? if you do i swear I'll put on some skis and go down the bunny slope."

you throw your head back with a laugh, imagining leah slowly going down the snow while pizza and french frying her skis. you bask in the compliments given to you by nora who was watching the whole time and manny who tells you he successfully completed the green slope with no falls or bumps. you feel the urge to talk to abby, to have her tell you she's proud of you when you see her near one of the equipment cabins, talking to owen.

"are you gonna go again or do you wanna stop for the day?"

you look at nora with a grin. "yeah, i'll go again."

later that night, after a few more hours of racing your friends and even seeing a few more fans who recognized you, even one lady who said she remembered you based on your form, everyone is headed back to the house to end the day after getting some drink from the community lodge

for some reason, abby hasn't talked to you since, and based on what you saw you're preparing for the damn worst. a small part of you knows you might be overreacting, that there's no way she would fall for the bullshit more had to say to her, but her avoidance of you isn't helping that little part take charge.

like she could read your mind, she's on your tail and following you into your bedroom, taking off her clothes as you do the same but still no word before you head into the shower. under the heat of the water, you rest your head on the wall and close your eyes to try to center yourself. you know abby, you know how much she's done for you. owen wasn't going to get in the way of that and you refused to let him.

you dry yourself off, brush your teeth, moisturize your body, and decide not to put on your pajamas and just this cute robe abby bought for you before leaving the bathroom. after turning off the lights you stop in your tracks, abby sitting on the side of the bed and staring at you.

your feet slowly carry you closer to her before she rolls her eyes and tugs you onto her lap. your face is neutral, even when you can feel the bulge inside of her sweatpants. you tilt your head and she replicates it.

"let me guess, you got an attitude again?"

"you're a fucking hypocrite."

"wh?" her face jerks back in confusion. "what are you talking about?"

"don't play fucking dumb with me abigail. biggest personal growth moment for me in forever and you spend it talking to your damn ex, who if you didn't catch it is still hung up on you, by the way."

"i know, just let me explain-"

"no, i don't want to know. if you're just doing all this as some fucked up way to let me down gently i swear to god-"

you get cut off when one of her hands moves from your waist to cover your mouth, her eyes drooping when you nip at her palm.

"stop it. you know i wouldn't do something that shitty to you, please stop being so paranoid." she waits to gauge your reaction before she decides that you aren't likely to cut her off, softly rubbing at the skin under your eye. "please don't cry."

"im not gonna cry."

"just wanted to make sure. because i care about you, and that's what i was letting owen know that when he was being a jealous dick about you skiing earlier. told him I'm this close to kicking him to the curb for good."

"wait really? what'd he say? i bet he was pissed when i skied over that stuck stump, probably wishes i rode over it and fucking broke my back."

"jeez, you really do despise him." she shakes her head, smiling and rubbing her hands on your thighs. "but yes, he was wondering if maybe now that you were fine to ski you were trying to upstage me or something."

"and do you? and why were you ignoring me?"

she sighed. "literally the opposite. you're just...so amazing, and funny, and talented, and i just know soon you'll be this olympian and wont wanna deal with me and my dumb ex anymore."

"i mean, i am amazing you're right about that," you brag, giggling when she pinches you. "but i'd deal with anything to be with you. i don't even have the words. i wouldn't have gotten on that slope without you always pushing me, despite how annoying i may find it."

abby's' face is beaming and suddenly she's kissing you like you're air, leaning back into the bed so you can hover over her. she stops kissing you just to move her ministrations to all over your face, repeating little 'i love you's' as she does so, reveling in the little hums that leave your throat.

"ok, are we done being sappy so we can fuck now?" your question ends in a squeak when her palm slaps your ass. you look at her with a glare and she just dopily smiles at you, gripping your hips to flip you underneath her.

"y'know, owen and mel picked the room right next to ours." she grinds her hips into yours, the friction of the strap rubbing against you heightened since your robe was riding up to show her bare cunt.

"god, you want me to be loud, don't you?"

"mmhm." she grins as her hand moves down to push the band of her pants down, the feeling of the toy grinding out forcing you to bite your lip to hide your moan, embarrassed by how quickly she could make you want it. her thumbs moves to pull your lip from between your teeth.

she continues humping you until she can see you're wet enough to slide in, looking for your nod to push the strap into you, groaning as it just slides in.

"y/n, we barely did any foreplay-"

"shut up, please shut up."

for some reason she takes that as a sign to start thrusting, reveling in your moans as they finally start to pick up volume. you try to bite the back of your hand when she pulls it away, holding it in hers and holding it above your head. the action is so sweet it almost makes you cry, instead thrusting your head up to press a sweet kiss to her lips.

"mm, love when you're all sweet like this honey. wanna stay like this forever, love you so fuckin much i swear to god." she accentuates her last couple of words with short but harsh thrusts that knock the breath out of your lungs. your orgasm is fast approaching at this rate, and she can tell by the way your eyes are fluttering and your hand is squeezing hers.

"you gonna cum? huh? gonna cum all over me baby?" you nod your head, not trusting the words and sounds that are coming out of your throat. she moves her hand down to rub at your clit and suddenly your stomach is pulsing and your orgasm is hitting you like a truck, abby's following after yours as she's groaning into your neck and thrusting harder to grind the base of the strap into her clit.

it takes a minute for both of you to calm down, the bliss overtaking the both of you.

"was...was that loud enough?" you whisper and feel her silent laugh on top of you, rubbing your leg over the back of hers.

she pushes her head up enough to look you in the eyes, and you really regret asking the question because she's got that dumb-ass smile back on her face and shaking her head.

only a few minutes later she's got you on all fours, leg propped up as she forces your hips back and forth on her dick. and then after that she makes you ride her, and then the position she knows you're obsessed with: her fucking you while standing up.

"a-abs! abby! oh my god!" your throat is sore as her fingers grip the meat of your thighs, the force of her bouncing you and thrusting her hips up getting you closer and closer to euphoria. your eyes are closed and your head is tilted back, doing anything to avoid the way she's looking at you like you're some goddess she's been blessed to witness.

"just a little bit more baby. cmon, tell me how much you love it."

"i do! fuck abby, love it so much."

"love what, honey? you can do it, know you can. god you're so perfect."

your mind is hazy with the feeling of the strap hitting that sensitive spot inside of you with every bounce of your hips and her words that you barely even register her demand, groaning when she bites at one of your tits that have been bouncing in her face.

"tell me what you love. please, please tell me."

"nghh, love you abby! fuckin love your dick so much!"

"that's it, thaaat's it pretty girl. let everyone you're mine, that i'm yours-"

you're pretty sure she kept talking after that, but the rush of your orgasm deafens every sound and lights your body on fire, only able to feel the high and the cum leaking down your thighs. you go in and out of consciousness but come back to when you're both back in bed, abby pulling you onto her chest and she rubs a soft hand down your back.

"love you." you mumble, snuggling into the warmness of her.

"i love you too, y/n."

"'m sorry about earlier."

"me too. promise that i'll tell you whenever i'm feeling down. or when i'm dealing with a douche."

"me too."

you get the best night's sleep you've had in years.

in the morning everyone seems ecstatic for the holiday, ready to share their gifts with each other after breakfast. you decide to join in helping to cook, which gets you a crazy accusation from jordan saying your helping is just 'sitting on the counter so abby has something to look at while you drink a mimosa". whatever. abby is standing between your thighs and talking to you about her new workout schedule when owen and manny walk into the room, manny bidding you a sly 'good morning' with a smirk as owen grabs water from the fridge.

"hey owes, can you hand me one?" abby asks, her fingers drumming on your thigh as she uses the other to catch the bottle he tosses to her with a polite smile. your eyes are following the action suspiciously before abby is for some reason keeping a grip on the middle of the bottle as she opens it so the liquid spurts onto a bit of her shirt.

"ugh, abs! wait a second." you start to move off the counter when she holds your hips down.

"its fine, babe. i'm used to things squirting on me, anyway."

your face scrunches up as you smack her in the shoulder, your face hot as you hear jordan and manny cackling like hyenas and owen chugs down his water. abby just presses a loud kiss on your cheek.

other than your friends constantly teasing you, nora whispering a 'love shack' in your ear when she walks behind you in the living room, the day really is perfect. when the sun sets everyone is exchanging the gifts they got for each other. leah got jordan some necklace he's had his eyes on, manny bought mel some earmuffs after hers broke a month ago. some of them teased you for having surprisingly thoughtful gifts despite having a heart of only half-thawed ice, making you only reply that you weren't past taking the gifts back.

and then you open the gift abby got you and nearly cry; a custom snow globe, inside two mini figures dancing on a mountain of snow, one wearing skis and the other wearing skates. the she almost does the same with the corny 'cooking for two' book you bought her and the limited edition version of her favorite novel.

its a night full of warmth and laughter, and once it ends you find yourself standing out on the balcony, looking out at the lit lights of the village and the lifts on the slopes. your phone is in your hand and you open the text messages to your dad.

tell everyone i said merry christmas. its going to take me time to mentally heal enough to train. but if you're willing to do it with me then i'm in.

"hey, it's fucking freezing out here." abby opens the slide-apart door and comes up beside you, wrapping her arms around you to look out at the view with you. "are you ok?"

you sigh, turning to admire her. the redness of her cheeks, the tiny snowflakes in her hair. the way she's looking at you.

you nod your head.

"i'm on top of the world."

fics keep getting longer to overcompensate allah take me now. spent so much of yesterday aka my birthday writing this omg but it was so fun to write a more developed reader. uhhh idk stream cobra by megan.

#the last of us #tlou #tlou x reader #abby #abby anderson #abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson smut #hockey!abby #skier!reader

[villalunae]

im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"

as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving

#personal #utena #rgu #im blacking out now

[maddipoof]

yeah,,,, sad boy,,,,, anyway

I got this request in like february and then i lost it but it was on anon so i hope it finds whoever requested it even though i bet they don't remember, hey lovely! i LOVED your last post so i was wondering if i could submit a post? ive had this idea for awhile…. A JJ Maybank x kook!reader where JJ just keeps bringing up the fact that the reader and rafe used to have a fling and the reader just breaks down and asks JJ why he keeps bringing it up and JJ tells her its because he saw that Rafe still texts the reader and JJ like demands that the reader blocks Rafe. you can end it however you like! i just like a lot of angst lmao ❤️💋 It should be stated that i did get carried away and forgot a few things but I hope you enjoy <3 WC: 5k, not beta'd

“You’re staring.” You saw JJ looking at you from the other side of the small living room in the chateau. You’d been texting in your group chat with your friends from your old school, since some of them had switched to boarding schools and whatnot, but you caught him out of the corner of your eye.

“I’m not.”

“What are you doing then?”

“Admiring.”

You moved closer to the edge of the couch and made room for him. He jumped on next to you, nearly landing right on top of you. “You’re typing pretty fast. Who’re you talkin’ to?”

You learned in the last few months that you’d been together now that JJ was not the terribly jealous type in public. He was the first guy you’ve dated that understood that if you’re dating a hot girl, there’s no reason she should stop being a hot girl. If anything, he liked it more. He liked that everyone would look at you but you’d always be looking at him. The problem came whenever you took a second to look away. You both knew what it was like to feel insecure, like someone was leading you on for no reason, like there was no trust. 

“Just my friends from school.”

“What about?”

“They’re trying to plan something next Saturday.”

He made a face you couldn’t see but you could feel it from his cheek moving on your shoulder. “What?”

When you looked at him he tried to take a neutral expression. “We’re going out Saturday.”

“I know.” Your voice didn’t match his. He sounded rough and salty, you were smooth and sweet. “That’s why I said ‘they’re’ trying to. My Saturdays are yours.”

“Good.” He pushed up to kiss you then went out to see what Pope and John B were doing outside. 

Kiara had been watching from the kitchen with a curled lip and a raised brow, holding her cold bottle to her chest. She got you one before she came and sat where JJ had just been. “Possessive much?”

“It’s fine.” You dropped the sweetness and just sounded bored. 

“You see him every Saturday?”

“I see him every day. And I guess that includes the days my friends I haven’t seen in 6 months are back in.” You shrugged and rolled your head to the back of the couch after taking a drink. “It’s fine.”

“Why don’t you tell him you want to see them?”

Another shrug, “He’ll ask why I want to go out with some Kooks when I can be with you guys.”

“That’s ridiculous.” She stood up like she was going to walk right out and tell him you’re going, but you pulled her back by the elbow. “What?”

“I’ll talk to him later.”

“Promise?”

You nodded and locked your pinky with hers before going outside. 

***

As Saturday approached, your phone buzzed more and JJ got more…territorial. You put it back on do not disturb and set it down by your leg, the one he wasn’t next to, and went back to watching your feet dangle with the tide slowly rising and the wake of a boat every so often splashing your toes. Adding an occasional kick to watch the way it rippled. The sun was settling behind you like an over-ripe peach. Big and bleeding towards orange, it spilled into the water, sending little arcs of light swimming with every roll of water.

“Who’s going Saturday?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re friends are going out Saturday, which ones?”

“Oh, yeah. Um I don’t think you’d know most of them but like Sarah Cameron, maybe her brother, I don’t know though. Lizzie Callaghan, Riley, Jack. I forget who else.”

“You wanted to go out with Rafe Cameron?” It sounded ugly when he said it like that.

“I wanted to go out with my friends whether or not he was there. I told you I wasn’t going to go since we already made plans that day. It’s fine, we’re both happy with it, don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t seem very happy about it.” He pulled his legs up from the water and his heels left the almost grey old wood of the dock dark with salt water. He pulled his arms around his shins.You thought you’d get through without it being brought up, having spent another day together in the cut. He hated going to your house. Not that he hated your house, he hated how far it was from his, how it was further than distance, it was tax brackets away, worlds away. 

“I haven’t seen them in a while, I’d like to see them soon. I have plans that day, they’ll be back. It’s fine.” Your posture went to shit after you grabbed your phone. Not that it was the best before, when you were looking at the water, but now your arms weren’t holding you up so your back was curled like a shell. Just to check the time and if Sarah or Kie texted you.

“Yeah, cus I’m sure you never get to see Rafe.”

“Jesus Christ, Jay. I told you that we went on 3 dates four years ago,” you slammed the face of your phone on the dock next to you, not the best idea. “He is in college in Massachusetts! So yes, we “dated” when I was 14, and we stayed friendly because his sister is one of my best friends.” You stood up and grabbed your bag on the way, he hardly even moved, just craned his neck and let his view of you be blurred by the sun behind you. “Yes, I would like to see him, but he, and all my other friends, will be here for the whole summer, there’s more than enough time for me to see them any other non-Saturday.” 

“So you still talk?”

“Holy fuck.” You put a hand to your head and turned away for a second. 

“I’m just saying like, you’re my girlfriend. It’s not impossible to think that maybe I don’t want you hanging around with that kind of asshole.”

“What is ‘that kind of asshole’?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I feel like I don’t.”

“I mean he was a classist prick to me and all my friends my whole life,” he finally stood up now, and moved so that he blocked the sun from your eyes.

“When he was fucking 12!”

“What about last year when he crashed me and John B’s party at the boneyard? You remember that right? You and him and all your little kooks came, flocking like fuckin– fucking vultures.”

“Fuck this,” you remembered that night, the two of them got into a fight over a keg, and yes Rafe did make some low blows about him being a pogue from the Cut, but that was a year ago, when he was still using and while he was drunk, he’s still accountable, but he’s not that person anymore. 

You tried to get past him but he made a lame attempt at blocking your way. “I just want to go home, Jay. I don’t want to do this anymore.” You looked at him now and saw the way his face went from annoyed to apologetic. 

“That’s ok, hey, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He tried smoothing your hair back and letting his hand coast down to your neck but you moved away. “Just let me drive you home.”

“I don’t want– I’m fine, I’ll call Sarah. Just– Please.”

“Please what? I don’t know what you want.”

“I want you to stop. I want this to stop.”

“I don– honey, what do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t even breathe around you like this. It’s– It’s suffocating, Jay. I love you, you know that. I don’t know why you can’t just believe it too.” He let you walk away after that. What more was there to say. 

***Saturday***

Since you got together, the last 3 days have been the longest JJ’s gone without seeing you. He was laying on the pull out sofa backwards, his head dropped down over the foot of the bed, not caring that the mattress has sunk over the years and the black metal bar was digging into the back of his neck. He knew he shouldn’t let his pen go upside down, but he needed the distraction, he blew it down trying to fight the cloud from going up before it evaporated. 

Kiara was cross legged on the other couch, tapping through her friends’ snap stories. She still had some of the people you went to school with added. “Hey J,” she said.

“Hmm?” 

“Have you seen Sarah’s story?”

“Why would I see Sarah’s story?”

“I don’t know. You want to?”

“Not really.” He flipped over so the front of his throat was on the bar and he let out a long groan before he fixed his position. 

“She’s lookin awfully comfy up with Sarah.” He knew who she ment by “she.”

“Lemme see.”

“I’m not moving, you come here.”

He groaned again when he flipped off over the couch, like an old man. 

Kie swiped it back to the beginning and he saw the progression of you and some other girls in the back of one of their brand new broncos. The roof was off and the next one was a boomerang of your big smiles and hair blowing wild. Then another of you all at lunch, the waiter must have taken it of you. Some of your food, then the sky with your hand pointing to a cloud and your voice saying “That one looks like a chameleon. I’m telling you, look at it.” “What are you talking about?” It sounded like Rafe but Sarah kept it pointed at the sky. “You’re looking at it wrong.” It panned down to you standing behind Rafe, taking him by the shoulders and turning him in the right direction. “That looks like a dog.” It ended with you slapping him on the arm. 

The next story was Riley’s, Sarah’s cousin, after the few Kiara skipped through of just the restaurant, there was one of you and Sarah dancing in the street. It looked like it you were still just outside the restaurant, one with an overt theme of a European café. There was a street performer with his open guitar case in front of his stool, his instagram handle on a piece of cardboard tapped to the back of it. In the background, behind you two spinning each other around, it looked like Rafe threw some money in there and then said something to the busker. The next video was of Rafe playing a song that had you all laughing and spinning together. He looked away when he saw you turn your head to look at him. 

He looked different than the last time he saw him, healthier, he lost that faraway look he used to have in his eyes. He looked good, and you looked like you liked it. 

Kiara turned off her phone and shifted to look at him better. “Doesn’t matter.” She put her hand over his, “She’s just happy he’s doing better, that has nothing to do with how she feels about you.”

“I know that, I know. I just– fuck, I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, you fucked it up a little bit, but not ruined.”

“I don’t want her to hate me.”

“I don’t think she has it in her to hate anyone, especially you.”

***The Cameron House***

Your day ended with a backyard camp out just like you used to do as kids. After all the tents were set up and Riley and Sarah kicked the boys out, you made your 9 person tent into a 5 girl paradise. There was an honest fear in all of you that all your sunset lamps and starry night projectors would overwhelm even the industrial powerstrips, but Sarah assured you, as she plugged in the fourth fan, that it’d all be fine. It was like sitting in a sunset. Pinks and peaches and bubbly orange colors everywhere you looked. Fluffy duvets lined every inch of the floor and there was no escape from all the pillows. Memoryfoam, down, throw, body, king size, every kind of pillow you could imagine stolen from every room in the house. You were between Lizzie and Sarah with Riley and Wheezie across from you. 

You always used to have a camp fire before you went back to your tents, and by the time you noticed that the sun was beginning to set from your captured sky in the tent, Rafe and the three other boys had gotten it started. 

Lizzie was handing you everyother s’more she made, which really meant that she messed every other one up and gave it to you when she didn’t want it. You were on your second when Rafe noticed you looking cold and holding your hands in front of the fire and elbowed Sarah to go get you a sweater or something. She came back and apologized if it was the wrong size, it was Rafe’s that he grew out of 4 years ago and she never grew into length-wise. “Have another, have another.” Lizzie was trying to bring another s’more to your lips. 

“I can’t, I’ll be sick if I have any more.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun.” You knew she was joking when she knocked her shoulder into yours.

“No, you’re the one trying to kill me.”

“Death by s’mores?”

“It’s an epidemic.” Wheezie said as she popped another perfectly goldened marshmallow into her mouth.

You gave Lizzie a look then moved to the bench at the side of the fire where the smoke wasn’t blowing. The only open seat was between Rafe and Jack. Let’s just hope that no one posts anything else tonight. 

“Sick of the s’mores?” Jack asked you.

“Yeah, the perfect goop in the middle can only make the charred black shell on the outside worth it so many times before it’s just not.”

“Pull it off then,” Rafe suggested.

“And lose the exhilarating crunch? Never.”

Rafe shrugged, knowing you were just going to keep going in circles, just for fun, and reached over the arm of the bench to offer you something from the cooler. “Surprise me.”

“Close your eyes then.”

“Why?”

“It needs to be a real surprise. If I got something you don’t like you’d just have me put it away and get you something else. Where’s the surprise in that?”

“Hmph.” You closed your eyes and opened your hand to accept the can, the condensation was dripping into the place where your thumb meets your hand and whatever he gave you tasted like fizzy lemon and basil. You hummed trying to figure it out without opening your eyes, in the end you gave up and read the label anyway. “I’m not gonna get high off of this, right?”

“It’s CBD.”

“I don’t know what you’re giving me.”

“I gave you a seltzer.”

“With CBD.”

“Would you be making as big a deal as this if I gave you a beer or something?”

You shrugged and he went to take your can away and replace it with a corona. “Wooah, woah, woah, who said I was done with that?”

“You.”

“No. It was good.”

“Good.” He let go and you took another sip. You took another look around at the fire and everyone around it then brought one leg up to hug against yourself. “So how’ve you been?”

“I’m alright. You?”

“Better than I’ve been in a while.”

“That’s good, I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks…yeah.” He cracked open another can of seltzer, just a regular one. “So I hear you’re going out with that Maybank kid.”

“Don’t call him that, you know his name.”

“Sorry, JJ. How long?”

“A few months. 6 actually.”

“And he let you come out with me?”

“He didn’t let me. I dom’t need anyone to let me do anything.”

“I’m sorry, I just meant–”

“It’s fine, sorry. It’s fine.”

“Should I apologize to him?” He was looking at you but you were just looking at the fire, Jack had left you by then to put out a flaming marshmallow.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, being a dick to him for however long.”

“Probably.” You looked at him now and he looked sincere enough for you to want to continue the conversation. 

“You know that I was really in a bad place then, right? Like using every chance I got, just being a dick and having no idea what I was doing?”

“I know. Doesn’t excuse it though.”

“I know that, I do. Which is why I want to apologize. And I’m not just gonna blame my dad either though, like I should have known better than to just regurgitate all the shit he was telling be about the Cut and pogues and whatever, all that shit that doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, I get that.” You turned so you could face him too, your leg was still up on the bench between you two.

“And I wanted to apologize to you too. I was a complete asshole to you that whole time too. I was so stupid and I shouldn’t have been messing with you when you were like 14.”

You took a deep breath before you said anything. You never really had any strong feelings about when you “dated” before, whenever you thought back to it you thought it was all just because you were young and didn’t know any better. Now that he’s saying this though, it just floods your memory of all the times he tried manipulating you into things you weren’t ready for. You never gave in and eventually he gave up and found some other girl that’d fall for the flash of an amex faster than a smile, but you never actually fell that hard to feel any overwhelming feelings about it. “Can I hug you?”

“Really?” Obviously not the reaction he was expecting. 

“Mhm.” He leaned in and you rubbed one hand up and down his back a few times. “I forgive you.”

“For real?”

“You’re trying to be better, I believe it.”

***The Chateau***

“JJ, no!” Kiara tried to go after him before John B blocked his way out the front door.

Clearly, someone was posting more videos than you knew about. Kie and JJ were just watching baby sensory videos, the ones with the bouncing vegetables, when she got a post notification. “You wanna look at it?”

He shrugged for the thousandth time that night. “Sure.”

And there was the flaming marshmallow melting on the stone and one of them trying to stomp it out with their $50 flip flop… and you in the background, first with you looking into Rafe’s eyes. Next with your arms around him and his face turned into your neck. Whether he was talking or anything else meant nothing to JJ. 

John B was enough to stop him even if he kept trying to push him out of the way. “The fuck is wrong with you, man?”

“She’s supposed to be with me, ok?” He was angry but they heard the hurt underneath. “She’s supposed to be with me and I keep– I keep fucking it up.” He beat a weak fist on John B’s chest before he took him into his arms. 

“You didn’t. You didn’t. Listen, listen, hey,” JJ finally pulled back to let John B look at him. “We’ll have her over tomorrow, yeah? Have her over, you guys can talk and figure it out?” JJ was shaking his head. “What? What is it?”

“She doesn’t want me. I fucked it all up and she doesn’t want me anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kie, show him the thing.”

“What thing?”

“Jay, I don’t think–”

“Just show him the video.”

She went through it and showed John B, she pointed out you and Rafe. “See?” JJ was about to cry again, so John B pulled him back in like a little kid.

“We’ll have her over tomorrow.”

***The Cameron House***

The fire was dying out and you and Sarah were the last ones out. Everyone else was sleeping, or at least laying down in their tents. 

“You’re still with JJ?”

“Mhm,” You nodded and took another sip from your sprite. “Actually, I don’t know. It’s been weird.”

“What do you mean?” She moved closer to your side. 

“He didn’t want me coming, first because we had a date set, then because he’s still banged up about Rafe and the stuff he used to do. Also because of the 4 dates we went on when I was like 12.” She knew you meant 14, semantics. She hated those 4 weeks, they were miserable. 

“But you still came?”

“Mhm, I haven’t seen him since Tuesday.”

“But–”

“He hates your brother.”

“He’s not the only one. But he’s gotten better.”

“I know he has, he apologized to me earlier tonight.”

“So he–”

“He want’s to apologize to JJ too. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just…”

“It’s ok, I get it.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to mess it up with him. It’s been going so well, and he’s so wonderful when he wants to be. He’s just…he’s everything and I love it but I just can’t stand it when he gets all weird about coming to my house, he never wants to meet any of you guys or come anywhere near figure 8. I don’t feel bad about what I have, and I don’t pity him for what he has, but I just wish it didn’t matter. Like I wish no one ever told him that he’s just a ‘dirt broke pogue’ or that he’s gonna end up like his dad. He could do so so much if he wanted and I just want him to know that. I don’t want anything to hold him back and I just want to give him the whole world and make him happy but I know he won’t take it,” She put an arm around you and rubbed your shoulder that was against her chest with her other hand. You hiccuped a sob before you realized it and took a breath to collect yourself. “I don’t know if he thinks he isn’t worth it, or he doesn’t deserve it because he isn’t worth it, but I– Fuckin christ, I just want him to be ok.” Your cry became a whine like a little kid’s that doesn’t know how to get their feelings out any other way. Sarah was holding you as close as she could and rocking you side to side as you tried to decide if it would be better to just let it all out now, or try to breathe again. 

“You wanna go see him?”

“What?” You pulled back and wiped the few streaks of tears from her cheeks, you didn’t feel like you were worth crying for at the moment. 

“Do you want to go see him?” She pulled the cuff of her sweater up to wipe over your cheeks then under your nose. 

“What do you–Like right now?”

“Yes, come on,” she shook your shoulder just a bit. “We’ll take the car, go to his house.”

“Not his house. John B’s.”

“John B’s then. You want to?”

You let her pull you up from the bench and towards your shoes before you gave yourself a second to think about it.

***

The streets were nearly dead besides the few college kids speeding by you or a few pick up trucks on their way to work in the other direction. 

You caught your face in the sideview mirror, tear stained and puffy but weirdly ethereal with the way the watery tracks sparkled in the street lights you were passing at lightning speed. You looked at yourself a little too hard before you realized how ridiculous this whole thing was. 

“What the fuck are we doing?”

“What? No, no, hey, come on, don’t back out now!”

“Sarah, it’s past 2 am, this is just, god it’s so desperate.”

“I am not turning this car around.”

“I’ll jump out the window.”

“You will not!”

You looked back at where you came from, woods, long, straight, not worth the walk in any direction. “Fine.”

“Prepare yourself, we’ll be there in like 5 minutes.” With her driving, 5 became 2 and you were barely halfway though your imagined version of how this would go. 

She parked but didn’t turn the car off yet. “The lights,” you hissed at her. “You’ll wake them up.”

“And who do you want to answer the door then?” She pulled the key out and went to the front door before you could get out of your seatbelt.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

“Jesus christ, Sarah,” You pulled her arm down. “You want them to think we’re a SWAT team?”

****

They ran out of drinks 4 hours ago so Kie and John B were playing an embarrassing game of cup pong with some probably a little bit expired sprite they found at the back of the fridge. Pope was showing JJ a nature he hoped would be a good enough distraction, he was getting very invested in the baby elephant’s journey, which they thought was a good sign.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

All their heads shot up from whatever they were doing, it could really be anyone. Too many people trying to find them, not enough with any boundaries or respect for their circadian rhythms.

John B took a step to the door, “Wait,” JJ said, “It could be Luke.” John B nodded and JJ went into the bathroom and locked the door. 

Pope walked behind John B and nearly jumped out of his skin when another round of loud knocks came, followed by a harsh “Sarah!”

They looked at each other in confusion then opened the door.

You were there holding Sarah by the wrist, she had her fist raised to knock again, “Hi,” she said before she remembered to put his arm down. He stood to his full height and she was nothing short of stunned. I thought this was about me?! You rolled your still teary eyes and stepped forward just a little. “Can I see him?” you asked gently, knowing you were in no position to be making any demands.

“Do you really think–” –that’s a good idea, is what he was going to say in that careful tone, not wanting to hurt you or JJ, or over step on your relationship but still trying to protect his friend, doing too much at once.

“Yes.” 

There was really no room for any more arguments, he stood back to the side to let you past and you went to the bathroom door. Two gentle knocks, “JJ, I– Can we– I–” you were half a second from turning back to Sarah, crying again saying ‘I can’t do it’ but he opened the door and pulled you inside; and maybe you shouldn’t have, but you grabbed both his hands, holding them in a way that his forearms were close against your chest, maybe the weight would calm your heart down. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moved his hands to the sides of your neck, his thumbs in the space under your ear, just under your jaw. Your hands held his wrists instead. “I don’t want to fight, I saw you and Rafe and I fucking– I saw my whole life without you and I didn’t want it.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I don’t want you sorry, don’t be sorry.” You brushed his hair away from his sticky forehead, “I should have listened better, I should thought about what you wanted. I just want to give you everything and the feeling that I couldn’t even give you a Saturday, I–”

“It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have asked you to chose, I don’t want you to chose between my life or yours, ok? Pick yours everytime, don’t drag yourself down for me.”

“No, no. There’s no my life or your life. Not to me, right? There’s just ours.”

‘Our life.’

“I love you,” he had to say.

“I love you too, and I never want to do that again.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t want to not see you or hear from you for 3 days, and I don’t want to have to decipher your feelings, I want you to tell me the truth. Even if you think I won’t like it.”

“I can do that, I can do all of that.” He was trying to talk fast, the faster he talked the faster he could kiss you, kiss all the feelings he didn’t know how to tell you into you. 

He moved in but you moved your head back before his lips reached yours, “Wait.”

“What? What is it?”

“I need to know that you’re not gonna do that again, I need to really know.”

“I promise, I promise you, babe, anything you want.”

“But how do I know you’ll keep it?”

“I mean it.” He took your hands again. 

“But can you–”

“Every day, I’ll prove it every day.”

“You swear?”

“On my honor as a Pogue.”

“Hmm,” you leaned into his humor now that you knew he meant it.

“What? You doubt my honor?”

“Only a little.”

“Then I swear on John B’s life. If I ever ever make you feel like I don’t care about you or like you’re doing something wrong, I will personally deliver you his heart in my hand.”

“Ugh, so graphic!”

“How else will you know I mean it?”

You moved your hand up his arm and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #obx #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #obx fic #obx x reader #obx fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank angst #angst #x reader angst #mara's fics

[hearts4youz]

The Captains Daughter: Chapter 16

A/N: finally, a chapter worth posting. This one is so much better than the last two or three i've posted. Sorry guys, I've totally lost track of time, its been two weeks since the last chapter ive posted... this is a longer one so hopefully it will suffice. Thank yall so much for reading, feedback is much appreciated :)

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame @kroowonderemporium @astro-ghoul99

word count: 1.3k

Reader pov:

You and your father have silently agreed to just let go of what happened during the commute to the grocery store. The two of you have not talked about the topic since, and you were grateful for it. You headed for the doors to get outside the base, as you had decided earlier that a morning run should do the trick for your sluggish start to the day. It seems you had woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Barely making conversation at breakfast, feeling irritated and put off by everything. Even the sound of Gaz breathing when you sat next to him in the mess hall made you want to choke him out.

You breathed in deeply, savoring the crispy winter air as it's freezing tendrils circled your lungs. You sighed and were about to get moving when you heard a gruff noise behind you.

It was Ghost, clearing his throat.

You turned towards him, a quizzical look crossing your features.

"I've tracked you across the whole bloody base," he said, in a gravely, morning voice.

"And?" You said, annoyed. You didn't feel like talking to anyone not even your mysterious crush.

"And, a good soldier should know to watch their damn six."

"Yeah, in the field," you roll your eyes.

"Someone's pissy this morning, I thought we were on good terms now?" He chuckled

"I just... sorry- you didn't do anything wrong-" he cut you off.

"I know," he smirked.

"... just bad nights sleep I guess," you glared, finishing your sentence.

"Where are you headed?" his voice softened slightly, but his gaze still remained rigid and judgy.

"Out for a run."

"You don't mind if I join do you?"

You raised and eyebrow at his suggestion

"What? i'm not supposed to be friendly with my teammates ever?"

"I-I...no...I don't mind," you said skeptically.

The two of you took off at a quick pace, you were surprised that the lieutenant could keep up despite the skull balaclava covering his nose and mouth, as well as his large, toned build.

"You run often?" you ask.

"Mmm... when I was a kid I got in trouble a lot. I had to make a quick getaway sometimes."

"Who was chasing you... the law?"

"Eh, sometimes," he said, nonchalantly.

"Well, what kind of trouble?" you asked, not knowing whether to be concerned or intrigued.

"Dumb, teenage shit. You know, smashing windows... drinking... smoking, anything to get me out of the house really. I matured eventually."

"And now your in the military, the irony," you paused. "You know, I really wouldn't have guessed that you were so... unruly as a kid, Mister 'im so strict and tough," you laughed.

He gave a chuckle in response.

"Mhm, my teenage years were pretty lawless... probably can't say the same for you, Price's kid," he smirked.

"Ah you got me there... I did get into a little trouble though."

"Really...?"

"I dabbled with boys mostly..."

This made Simon's heart rate quicken, the thought of you with other guys, but then he reminded himself that you were a teenager at the time.

"Boys? I'm sure the captain wasn't very fond of that"

"Oh hell no... he always chased 'em away. I never could keep a boyfriend for very long. No matter how secretive I was he always found out."

Noted Ghost thought to himself.

Ghost laughs, "Yup, sounds like ol' cap."

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes as Ghost thinks about your love life.

"You...you don't happen to have any of those men in your life now... do you?" he asks quietly.

"I uhm....uh...well... no," You respond, a bit flustered.

"Good, otherwise i'd have to tell cap" He added, voice stronger and more confident while trying to play the question off as a joke.

You two were almost back to the base now, as you finished at the doors Ghost spoke up again as he swung the door open for you.

"It's about time for our daily training now, good timing."

You nodded as you stepped through the door into the pleasantly warm building. You walked down to the training facilities with him.

"Lets do some lifting," Ghost suggested.

You groaned in protest, dragging your feet as your lieutenant led you into the gym. You went through a few sets, bench press, curls, a few ab exercises, and finally some squats. By the time you were ready to start squatting, your body was exhausted, especially your legs considering you ran beforehand. Ghost looked at you with a slight bit of sympathy.

"Lets just do two sets of eight for this one alright Y/N?"

"Thank you, G-Ghost," you sputtered as you struggled to keep the bar level as you got into your first squat.

You wobbled, your legs quivered as you raised yourself back up into a standing postion.

One

You shook even more on the way down the second time, Ghost noticed this and left the wall he was leaning up against. He stood behind you with his hands open, ready to steady the bar if needed.

down, up

Two

By the third rep, the bar was so far away from being level on your shoulders your whole body tipped to the right. Luckily, Ghost caught you and lifted the bar off your shoulders before you could fall. He put the bar back on the rack and took a few pounds off of it while you sat down for a moment.

"If you're not okay enough to finish we can be done here," Ghost told you. His words were sympathetic but his voice was void of emotion, it was hard to gauge weather he was disappointed in your failure to finish the set or if he was concerned for you.

Ghost pov:

Goddamnit, she totally felt that.

I stood in front of Y/N while she sat down for a moment to catch her breath. I had to get the bar off of her before she hurt herself, but in the process I had pressed myself against her by accident. Which in return gave me a little problem... down there. Forever grateful to my mask for saving my ass once again, I tried to exert calmness towards Y/N while she rested. I desperately hoped that she would be done now that she was almost crushed by the weight.

"No, I'd like to finish out the set at least," she responded to my question.

"You sure? no shame in calling it quits to avoid injury," I responded in a warmer tone than before.

"Yeah, I've got it," she reassured me, more strength in her voice now.

Again, I positioned myself behind her to spot her. Only this time, a half step further back, not forgetting about my hard on. I'm not going to lie, It was tough to just stand there silently while she got her reps in. All I wanted to do was praise her, to tell her what a good job she was doing. I wanted to see her smile when I told her she did something right, I just wanted to make her happy.

"Good work," I managed to say when she got all eight reps in.

She told me goodbye and turned to leave. I watched her walk away, she took a few steps before I couldn't help myself.

"Wait!"

She turned around.

"I enjoyed running with you this morning... really- it was nice. Thank you for letting me go with you."

Her face broke into a genuine smile.

"Thank you for coming with me, it was nice to see you more informal... you know, outside of all the work stuff."

When she walked off again, I couldn't help but get all giddy and boyish. I felt like a teenager swooning over his crush at school.

fucking hell, Y/N enjoyed my company.

Reader pov:

When you left the gym and were sure that no one could see you, you damn near squealed for joy.

He liked running with me!

Ghost

My lieutenant

The guy I like

#captain price #cod 141 #ghost x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost cod #cod ghost #task force 141 #cod x reader #ghost call of duty #ghost smut #ghost simon riley #simon riley #ghost mw2 #dad!price #gaz cod #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish

[savnofilter]

Makeup Sex HCs

-> dabi/t. todoroki, s. todoroki, e. kirishima & k. bakugo

Dabi | Shouto Todoroki | Eijiro Kirishima | Katsuki Bakugo x [GEN]Reader

CONTENT WARNING(S): sexual content, makeup sex. 🧍🏽‍♀️

COUNT: 1.1K words [1-3 mins each].

READ MORE: masterpost + [students | bakugo | adults masterlists]

A/N: ive been wanting to write this for a hot min and now i finally did sjdjsjdn anyways this will be my last nsfw work for students. pretty anti-climatic but 🤷🏽‍♀️ i will be releasing the rest of my sfw stuff for them somewhere else so stayed tuned for that. 👀 ANYWAYS I AM SAUR READY FOR THE DABI CONTENT IM GONNA BUST 🥰 THANK YOU ANON AND HAPPY YEAR YALL. 🤢🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽

if its serious & Dabi knows hes fucked up, hes gonna force himself to talk about it.

don't think that he’ll be mature 100% but he will communicate with you.

is a little manipulative (don't come at me we know he ain't at therapy) and might divulge to get into your good graces once again.

makeup sex with Dabi entirely depends on how serious he finds the situation.

if it's something super serious (to him) then he will not go for sex and will not want to be touched physically like at all. comfort wise too.

but when it's something where all you two need to do is properly communicate, he's actually more empathetic. you could almost say the makeup sex between you when this happens is more… intimate.

if submissive!Dabi is something you like, here he is!

don't expect him to go full on tho, he’ll just relinquish a bit more of letting you take control as a form of apologizing.

[+] only you have been able to see him in such a position… you better be thrilled.

gets more needy tho? the audacity… if you love brats there here he is.

tries to say stuff to throw you off, shit like if you're teasing him he'll say something along the lines of, “stop playing and come sit on my cock, doll.” or “look at you slobbering all over my dick, you greedy XYZ.”

a little whiney about it too, has no shame whatsoever, though.

if he's the one giving you head, it's very messy and sloppy like he's making out with your nether regions. his goal is to have you c(um)e undone and having you surrender your thoughts to him.

when you two actually get to fucking though, it's really rough and grabby at first. it's as if you two are trying to fight each other whilst also attempting to one up another in pleasure.

very much a lot of rough thrusting, pinning, bite marks, hickies and hand prints galore.

then it soothes out—once all the pent up energy is exerted you two transition into a more, and this is where I talked about earlier, intimate love making.

mumbling apologies, a teary eye if you manage to make eye contact with each other and soft mutterings of how good it feels.

it's like a rollercoaster ride of high and low emotions, the end result being the balance of both.

probably the same kind of style as Dabi.

honestly it wouldn't be surprising if the root of the makeup sex being unresolved things, as in the inner conflicts that you two don't even address.

quiet aggression waiting for its release between you two.

makeup sex would be more like a week or a few days after, where you two are probably having a normal session but then the pent up and forgetting energy comes up and gets released during the deed.

Todoroki grips you way more often and holds you close as if you might disappear in one second.

uses a lot of his hands and probably toys too to let out his pent out anger.

will have you bonded up so he can freely do what he needs to do with having to keep his attention divided by keeping you down and pleasuring you.

a ton of words of affirmation here, both you and him.

that's how it normally is, but he throws in some endearing terms a lot more this time around.

“that feel good, baby?” “who makes you feel good like this?”

his attention is solely focused on you and not so much his.

will probably edge you until the point where you both need to climax as he enjoys seeing you tear up and beg for him.

the makeup sex was probably about jealousy if we're being honest here.

Todoroki is just so emotionally constipated but he doesn't know how else express it.

is definitely working on it though.

probably the most emotional out of them lol.

Kirishima is the type to cry and be a mess, super emotional and empathetic.

isn't doing crazy positions or trying to rough you up, unintentional or not.

very much, “I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry” sort of attitude 😭

feel like when thinking of Kirishima, since he has this hidden, passive aggressive side that it'd transmute into rough handling but no I think he'd let all his barriers down for something like this.

would probably get rougher near the ending tho, like harder thrusts and more bite marks.

he wants to be in your good books again and is doing his best to be that again.

everything is sloppier too, just pure rawness tbh.

the makeup session may take place a few hours later or a day later, if it doesn't then that's how you know it's something serious that can't just be mended with a bit of physical bonding.

so in a way when you two make up like this, Kirishima feels grateful because of the unspoken common rules in your relationship.

he puts his all in to make sure that even with your disagreements he still loves you a lot. :’)

surprisingly so, i honestly believe makeup sex with this man would be soft.

it's passive aggressive at most, the only thing being harsh is the rough grip here and there or a little taunting whisper every so often.

lots of eye contact and just admiring you under him.

likes to be on top so he can shield you from everything else in the room and wants your attention all on him.

make up sex with him is smothering in the way that it's like he's trying to mold himself into you and only you.

doesn't care about what you guys fought about or disagreed earlier, he's more or so focused on the connection this will bring.

Bakugo is more quiet during this time, not really saying much but lets a few noises slip by every so often.

if he does talk, it's not very loud or aggressive, more of check ins like, “you okay?” “you like it when I XYZ?”

it's like Bakugo is treating you in a fragile manner, not wanting to shatter you or startle you. :’)

this is one of the times where his energy level isn't on 1000.

ALSO HAND HOLDING FOR SURE.

prefers to mostly do positions where he can see your face too, wants to make sure you're okay.

he's very mellow and the sort of energy is needed for the mending between you two.

    all rights reserved © do NOT steal, alter or copy this work.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha dabi x reader #mha dabi x reader #bnha todoroki shouto x reader #mha todoroki shouto x reader #bnha kirishima eijiro x reader #mha kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki x reader #mha bakugo katsuki x reader #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #not sfw #sav's sinning

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for basically being my cousins' 2nd/3rd parent and actually doing my aunts/uncles job for them

I (19 ???), have six young cousins on my mom's side who i see pretty often given everyone's schedules. Im really close with 4 of them, having grown up almost like siblings mainly with the two oldest. The two youngest dont care for me especially since one is only like 4 months old

Ive always been the reliable older brother/sisterish figure to them even when i was younger, it just came naturally. But in recent years ive had to pick up the slack in alot of things related to raising my cousins in a way. A goodish example is with the oldest, she's 16 and a few years ago I had to give her the sex and period talk cuz her school barely did anything about it (long story short they literally just gave out a basic (outdated) packet that basically just said "dont have sex, girl bleed once a month" in a horrible shameful way), and her parents just said "we'll explain when you're 18".

Ive done everything from teaching them internet safety to cooking to explain topics such as the sex talk because my aunts and uncles just dont do those things.

But enough context heres the main things,

One of my cousins called me dad in front of our relatives while we were all on vacation which caused a scene to say the least. It ended with me absolutely tearing into my aunts and uncles, which i admit wasnt the best choice but still, i basically tore into them about intentionally or not have almost completely abandoned their roles as parents. (Also one got tore into for basically forgetting their oldest in favor for their youngest so much so the oldest didnt get new clothes for two years)

The fight ended with me and my cousins storming back to the room we claimed and locking the door. We basically camped out there for the last two days if the trip, only leaving for food a night (had a bathroom connected to the room thankfully) we only really spoke to my mom and our grand uncle and aunt during that time

Its been about a month since it happened and things have atleast superficially calmed, still receiving the stray vague call out on social media and getting called an selfish asshole in a polite socially acceptable way. The only people on my side are my grand aunt and uncle, my mother, my cousins, and my friends

Im torn, because on one hand i care for my cousins and dont regret finally standing up for them all including myself.

But on the other its not completely my business on how my relatives raise their kids. I didnt have to do all that i do/did. I choose to do all those things and im still choosing to do them

I would speak to a professional or something but my last therapist dropped me cuz of stories bout my family (no joke she literally said "you're family is fucked up i have no hope in helping you, you're a lost cause") so tumblr what's your thoughts this probably out if yalls pay grade but still

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[agentrouka-blog]

I just remembered that people on various platforms keep blaming sansa for her father’s beheading. She only addressed cersei out of pure courtesy. She was her son’s fiancée, of course, his mother needed an explanation, a simple “hello, my father and I are leaving. I will miss the south and its tournaments, goodbye!” she was just being a lady, which was expected of her. If her father hadn’t been so careless and tried to explain what was going on, she would never have gone to the queen. But let’s blame the 11 year old girl that all she got going south was the death of her wolf and the destruction of her dreams in a couple of days!

Sansa was shrieking, “No, no, stop it, stop it, both of you, you’re spoiling it,” [...] Sansa didn’t know what to do. She watched helplessly, almost blind from her tears. SANSA I AGOT.

Just a little girl. I hate people.

Hi anon!

To preface, there is an excellent breakdown of the timeline of the events around Ned's arrest by @istumpysk that makes it absolutely clear that Sansa had zero (none, not one single bit) influence over Ned's arrest or death. I highly encourage anyone to read it who may be fuzzy on the details. She is not a factor in it. If she had stayed in her room, nothing would have changed.

That said, she very much did absolutely not just go to Cersei out of courtesy.

She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. She had never done anything so willful before, and she would never have done it then if she hadn't loved Joffrey as much as she did. "[...] The king had been her last hope. The king could command Father to let her stay in King's Landing and marry Prince Joffrey, Sansa knew he could, but the king had always frightened her. He was loud and rough-voiced and drunk as often as not, and he would probably have just sent her back to Lord Eddard, if they even let her see him. So she went to the queen instead, and poured out her heart, and Cersei had listened and thanked her sweetly … only then Ser Arys had escorted her to the high room in Maegor's Holdfast and posted guards, and a few hours later, the fighting had begun outside.  (AGOT, Sansa IV)

She was done being an object in Ned's hands. Ned, unintentionally, pushed her further into the lie that it was about about loving Joffrey. Joffrey is her only excuse for staying in King's Landing, where the courtly culture and glamor had been her only consolation after the events of the Trident and the aftermath that alienated her from her own family. Ned has made it clear in Sansa's eyes that he doesn't care about anything that she wants, and he offers no explanations, so she tries to exercise some agency and fight for the thing she wants herself - couching it in the excuse of love for Joffrey because agency is scary and because she knows no one cares about what she wants for herself alone.

She's 12. She's can't parse all of her feelings, so she lies to herself. But it's pretty clear that she just wants to take control over something about her own life for once. And it's an exercise in utter futility because the information she is acting on is so woefully incomplete because [redacted rant of violent rage against Ned for never once bothering to actually talk to Sansa].

Just a little girl. I hate people.

Same, anon, same.

#sansa stark #eddard stark critical

[notmozzi]

Kiriko Jealousy Headcanons (some NSFW)

A/N: this sat unfinished in my notes for a while so i went ahead and finished it up to feed you guys. im working on some kirihana content (as well as other requests) in the meantime. ngl ive been pretty busy, so i apologize for any inactivity, but i promise more stuff is slowly getting done. enjoy!

——————

• Kiriko is pretty mature and, generally, knows how to keep to herself when someone’s hitting on you. Especially if theyre actually respectful upon you rejecting them.

• And when it comes to your closeness with friends, she’s extremely lenient. She only asks that she knows where you are, but she never hovers you. She 100% trusts you.

• However, there have been times where someone had rudely insisted on getting your number, taking you out, etc. And in these instances, Kiriko isn’t so distant.

• For one, Kiriko enjoys holding you close. An arm around your back and her hand on your hip? She does this often. A quick kiss on the cheek? Holding your hand? Calling you “babe” or “precious?” All of the above.

• When things get more tense, though, Kiriko drops the sweet form of asserting herself.

“Sorry, but Y/N’s taken.” Kiriko held you flush against her with each of her hands on your hips. You shuddered as you felt her breath ghosting over the back of your neck with each word she murmured. “She’s not interested.”

• And Kiriko is hardly possessive, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be. Little acts like holding you by the hips or kissing you with a hand holding your chin always get you flustered. And she sure as hell enjoys little things that make her feel in more control over you.

• This is only 20% of the time. 60% of the time, when someone bothers you, she opts for the kiss on the cheek and a sweet nickname. That tends to ward anyone off.

• And the other 20%? Well, Kiriko has it taken care of before you even walk out the door.

• Kiriko loves marking you behind closed doors. Loves it. And depending on the events of a certain day, she’ll most definitely leave them in spots you can’t hide without a turtleneck.

• If she’s simply feeling romantic, Kiriko leaves marks on your chest and collarbone. Subtle bruises, but nothing crazy.

• If there’s been a guy talking to you that she’s wary about, though, or maybe somebody bothered you that day that she had to ward off, then you best believe she’s taking out her possessiveness on you.

You let out a sharp gasp as Kiriko pressed you against the bedroom door, fingers intertwined and breathing heavy. Your quick breathing quickly turned into a soft, blissfull moan, feeling Kiriko immediately press her face into the crook of your neck.

Her cheek brushed against yours as her tongue dragged its way along your jawline, slowly travelling down the side of your throat and eventually stopping just above your collarbone. Only a moment passed before you felt her teeth gently and lewdly press into your skin.

You keened and arched into her, and she only responded with a growl as she pressed your hands further up against the wall. The bite lasted just a few seconds and Kiriko finished it off with a gentle lick as she let go. She then kissed her way back up your neck and brought her lips to your ear.

“You’re mine, kichō.” She purred, her voice shockingly low already and giving away her arousal. “And I’m gonna make sure they know from now on. Okay?”

You could only nod as she nipped at your ear, eliciting a shaky whine from your lips. As the taller woman continued, you dutifully surrendered, exposing your throat with the raise of your chin and closing your eyes.

• The marks left behind the following morning always make Kiriko grin like an idiot. You try to be annoyed, but can’t help but find it a little hot that Kiriko chooses to assert herself this way. You also, oddly enough, find it somewhat cute with how proud of herself she gets.

• And whenever you tease her about her jealousy, she typically ends up fingering you numb. Overstimulation is a big yes when you relentlessly taunt her.

Aww look at you now…that pretty little face, all flustered just for me. Listen to yourself baby…you were so cocky just seconds ago. What happened, Y/N? Do my fingers feel that good? Yeah? Do me a favor and scream who you belong to, sweetheart. Just for me.

#overwatch #overwatch smut #kiriko #kiriko kamori #overwatch headcanons #kiriko x reader

[avatar-anna]

The Professor

summary: you and harry are perfect strangers

words: 5.5k

tw: none

PART V, PART IV, PART III, PART II, PART I Series Masterlist

Harry was pretty sure he’d never been more nervous in his entire life.

He’d performed in huge arenas, he’d sat and waited for his name to be announced as he won a Grammy, he’d met the Queen, and yet here he was, sitting across from an unassuming young woman in a knit blouse with little pink flowers stitched on it and mismatched socks, waiting for her to say something with baited breath.

If he had known that there was a chance of you ever coming to one of his shows, that you would give him the time of day, he would’ve invited you himself. You didn’t believe in that kind of stuff, but it was a twist of fate, the subtle push from the universe he needed to talk to you. And when he got off stage and saw that he had not one, but three voicemails from you? It took everything in him not to go knocking on every door in New York to try and find you then and there.

He knew the second he uttered the words, “It’s nice to meet you, Y/n. I’m Edward,” a year ago that he was in deep shit, but he couldn’t help himself.

It was rare that he met someone nowadays who had absolutely no clue as to who he was. People he met randomly always had at the very least a vague inclination, but you genuinely had no idea. He’d come to learn why, obviously, but at the time, he was so…taken by that, he wanted to keep up a sense of anonymity, and then he let it get too far.

He often looked back on those short few months where you’d been friends or companions or more, and went back and forth between whether he would change anything or not. He definitely would’ve given you his actual name, even though the one he gave you was technically his name. You wouldn’t have cared, and you wouldn’t have looked at him differently, but those three months were so precious to him, the thought of changing any small thing about them didn’t sit right with him. The only thing that would’ve swayed him was knowing that if you’d known exactly who he was, he could’ve had a little more time.

He still wasn’t quite sure how you found out or who told you, he was only upset that he wasn’t the one to tell you himself. You’d been so open, so willing to share parts of yourself that he was sure you’d never shared with anyone else, and he’d gone and kept a huge chunk of his life a secret.

The night you found out was one of the most difficult nights Harry had ever experienced. He hated that he caused you so much pain, that he’d hurt you so badly that you didn’t even want to look at him, or let him explain. He stayed outside your door for hours, just in case you decided to let him in and talk, but you never did, and one of your neighbors kindly but sternly told him it was time to go. He hadn’t been ready, he was willing to wait until you had to eventually come out, but he knew he couldn’t. Part of the reason Harry had come to see you that week was to explain everything, to tell you that he would be gone and that you would possibly see or hear about things online about him, but not to believe any of it.

He’d been living in some kind of daydream with you the last few months. He was writing and recording music in between of course, but he felt like he was on an extended holiday living in Cambridge. When he first moved into his friend’s house temporarily, he had no intentions of doing anything else but work on his album, but then he met you, and he couldn’t stay away.

You’d changed his life, and you didn’t even have the slightest idea how much you meant to him.

And now he was here, sitting across from you in your office like he was one of your students. He always had been, in a way, so eager to learn and hear whatever it was you had to say. You sometimes talked about how you felt guilty for not doing enough, but Harry knew better. You were meant to be a professor, anyone who spoke to you would’ve been able to tell.

You were making him tea, your back turned to him as you poured hot water into a mug for the two of them, and you hadn’t said a thing. Nor would you look at him. Harry was suddenly very grateful that your face was forever stamped onto his memory, because he worried he might not ever see it again. Mask restrictions were a little lighter now, but you still had yours on, even if it was just the two of you in your office. So Harry kept his on as well, respecting every boundary you had in place.

When you sat down and handed him his tea without a word, he realized that you weren’t going to say anything until he did. He racked his brain for something to say, something that was light enough to get you talking but not trivial enough where you would on;y give a one word answer. 

“This…office is pretty nice,” he said, immediately regretting it once the words were out of his mouth. It was practically a step above asking you about the weather.

Still, you answered him. “It is. The university promised me a bunch of things to get me to say yes to their offer. They pay for an apartment in a nice neighborhood, they made me head of the Psychology Department, and now I have this office.”

“That’s pretty great.”

“Yes, but I didn’t really want to be the head of any department,” you said with a shrug, like being in charge of anything at an Ivy League university wasn’t a big deal. But he knew none of that mattered to you. You only ever wanted to teach. It did give him something else to talk about though.

“How is the Emperor liking his new home?”

“He was very upset about the move, but he’s come around,” you said, gripping your tea and leaning back in your office chair. Harry wondered if you would lower your mask to take a sip, but only time would tell, he supposed. “I have a new cat too.”

“Oh yeah? What’s its name? Something about Roman antiquity like the Emperor?”

Hearing you say things like having a favorite Roman Emperor was the oddest thing to Harry. At first. He didn’t even know one could have a favorite of the Roman Emperors, but you told him enough about each that he eventually had a favorite of his own. He was more of an Augustus fan, but to each their own.

“Um…no.” You blushed then, and now Harry really wanted to know what the cat’s name was. “Her name is Faye Winter, but sometimes I call her Miss Winter.”

Harry blinked. “Like…Like the Love Island person?”

“Yes, I was quite a fan,” you said with a nod.

Well that was definitely a new development. You didn’t even have a television in your townhouse in Cambridge, and now you were apparently a fan of one of the UK’s most popular reality TV shows. He was suddenly glad that there was a mask covering his face so you wouldn’t see the small grin that found its way onto his face. You never ceased to amaze or surprise him, at least that hadn’t changed.

“And—And how are you liking New York?”

“It’s fine. I had a…difficult first few months, but I’ve settled in now, made some subtle life changes. Had a boyfriend.”

If Harry had been drinking his tea, he would’ve choked on it. You said it so casually, like you were talking about the desk in front of you or the class you just finished teaching. “A boyfriend?”

You nodded, but you still wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Yes, we met at the end of February.”

Alarm bells were ringing in Harry’s head, but nothing you’d said alluded to the fact that you were seeing someone now. You said you had a boyfriend, which meant you no longer had one. He knew he was a long way from anything like that with you, but knowing you were single eased him a bit. 

“But you’re not with him anymore,” he said, careful to keep his voice casual.

“Mm…No. He just wasn’t right for me. Should’ve been, he was pretty much my equal in every way.”

Ouch. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just that he was very smart, almost as smart as me,” you said. “I don’t think he liked that, though, that I was more intelligent, and…I don’t know, he was just…kind of boring.”

“How so?”

You shrugged, like you didn’t have Harry’s beating heart in your hands. “He only ever wanted to talk about his math. He was working on some rover for a space station or something, and that’s all he talked about. Even after sex, he would go right back to talking about his work. Can you believe that? I mean, I love talking about my work, not that he would ever know, but I don’t do it that—Oh, are you alright?”

Harry still hadn’t had anything to drink, but he somehow managed to choke on air. He knew that was just how you spoke, that you weren’t trying to throw anything in his face by admitting to having sex with someone else, but it still took the breath right out of his lungs. He wasn’t naive enough to think that you would’ve waited for him after so much time had passed, it seemed you’d gotten on with your life, but he waited. He didn’t want anyone but you.

That night when he slept in your bed was when Harry realized it. He knew he liked you, of course, and he knew that he could see himself falling in love with you, but when you laid down next to him in a matching pajama set with cartoon Einsteins on them, when you had to huddle close together on your small bed and didn’t so much as kiss, he knew. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see himself falling for you, he already had.

He should’ve explained everything then, but that night was too special to ruin by confessing that he’d been omitting the truth about his life, so he spent the night sleeping next to you and watching you sleep like a fool—a fool in love, but a fool all the same—wrapped up in the smell of your shampoo with your hair tickling his nose. 

Coughing, he waved off your concern. It was a step up from the same passive look you’d had on your face since you’d been in your office, but he didn’t think he was ready for you to come closer. “I’m fine. Promise.”

You settled back into your seat, and then there was silence again. Risking being too obvious, Harry asked, “So, you broke up with him, then? Your boyfriend?”

“Yes. I thought I would like someone who was similar to me, but there was just something missing. A two-sided conversation mostly, but I don’t know,” you shrugged.

You weren’t saying it, and Harry didn’t even think you realized it. Or maybe you did and had an excellent poker face. In a lot of ways, you and Harry couldn’t have been more different. You’d never run out of things to say before, nor did he talk over you or control the conversation. What the two of you had was special, and while Harry knew he messed up, he was willing to do just about anything to convince you that you and he could start over.

“So…what I’m hearing is that you want someone who’s different than you, someone who challenges you and talks to you about things other than math.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, she said, “Yes, that’s almost exactly what I said.”

Harry shrugged and leaned forward so that his elbows were leaning on your desk. “I’ve never liked math.”

It seemed to click for you then. “Oh please.”

You stood up from your chair and began packing up your things. Harry stood up too, following you around like a lost puppy. “Come on. You loved our conversations. I’ve missed them so much. I’ve missed you so much.”

You’d been ignoring him up until then, but the last part made you pause. “Why did you lie? None of this would’ve happened if you’d just been honest.”

The playfulness that had been starting to build deflated the second the words left your lips. You looked at him then, more hurt in your eyes than Harry had ever seen. It was nice to catch up and pretend like nothing had changed, but that wasn’t the case, and now he had to convince you to forgive him.

“I—I wish I could give you an explanation that makes sense,” he sighed, sitting on the corner of your desk. He thought you would make him move, but you didn’t. The truth was more important.

“I just want you to be honest.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. This was why he was here, though. After listening to your voicemails multiple times, he tracked you down to see you and apologize and explain. It had been nice to just sit and talk to you for a few minutes, but now it was time to be serious. 

“I’m going to sound like a prick right now, but I was genuinely surprised that you had no idea who I was when we first met, and I—I just wanted to leave all of that behind for a few moments. When we spoke, it felt like we were the only two people in the world, and it—it just felt nice to be…a version of myself that I didn’t get to be all the time. You probably won’t believe me given the circumstances, but I’ve never felt more like myself than when I was with you.”

Harry had been watching you carefully, but with the face covering, it was hard to tell how you were reacting to what he told you. Eventually, you said, “I…don’t totally understand, but I believe you’re telling the truth.”

Relief washed over Harry. He was thankful he’d been able to get this far, that you were giving him the chance to explain himself. “I really am sorry. I know I betrayed your trust, but I’m hoping you’ll one day be able to forgive me.”

You were quiet, had your thinking face on. There was a time where you would share your thoughts with him, but now you were slightly turned away from him. Finally, you looked over at him but didn’t come any closer.

“I…do forgive you,” you said, looking down at her hands. “And I’m sorry too. It was immature of me to just leave the way I did, but I, um, I was really—”

“It’s okay,” Harry rushed to say. “I wasn’t thrilled when all I got was a letter, but I understand that I hurt you.”

He’d gone back every day after you told him you didn’t want to see him anymore, but you never came out or answered when he knocked. Then, one night, the night they’d agreed on for their date, there was an envelope taped to your door. It was short and to the point, very you. One thing that stuck out though was that you left the key with the message, I couldn’t take my books with me, so I hope you’ll be able to take care of them for me. Harry did, going through them whenever he had the chance, and if you had been at the concert last night like her voicemails suggested, then you would’ve realized it too. 

Staying up practically all night, Harry looked at each title you had in your collection. He tried to figure out which ones you liked the best. He looked at your bookshelves for hours, taking note of which ones were at the front and which ones were the most worn, but they were all very loved. It occurred to Harry that your favorites wouldn’t have been on display on your bookshelves, but in your room, or your favorites would’ve been the few books you took with you. He felt weird going into your bedroom when you weren’t there, but everything was gone but your books. Just as he suspected, there were a couple of novels on top of your nightstand. Those were the ones he read first. 

“I—I went to your concert last night,” you said out of the blue. 

“Yeah? What did you think?”

“You’re very good. But, um, I couldn’t help but notice that you—that your songs were…about me, maybe?”

“I tend to write from personal experience,” was all he said, smiling a little beneath his mask.

“I got that, but some of the songs sounded like—like you,” you couldn’t finish your sentence, too embarrassed to say what you were thinking aloud. 

Harry reached his hand out, and was surprised when you hesitantly took it. “I don’t think you realize how much I care for you. I—Y/n, you turned my world around.”

You shook your head in disbelief, trying to take your hand back, but he held on tighter. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not, Y/n, I swear I’m not,” he said.

“You—You’re seeing someone. I saw it, so—so don’t say things that aren’t true.”

“That’s not—It’s hard to explain, but we weren’t actually together. It just looked like we were. I know it’s not easy, but please believe me when I tell you I like you so much. I haven’t been able to think about anyone else for the last year, and of course you’d be all over my music because I—I’ve fallen in love with you, and I don’t know how to stop.”

Since you were so close, Harry heard your breath hitch. He briefly wondered if you’d been in love with anyone before, or if anyone had been in love with you. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said softly, pulling you just a little bit closer to him.

“I—I think we should go,” you said suddenly, slipping your hand from his to gather your things. 

That was certainly not what Harry expected you to say, but at least you said “we.” He waited for you to finish fluttering around your office, and to his surprise, when you were ready to go, you took his hand again.

Both of you were both quiet as you walked through the halls of the university building, but Harry didn’t mind, he was just happy to be walking next to you and holding your hand. You led him to the building’s front entrance, only to come upon a large crowd of people, all with their phones and cameras out.

“Shit,” he muttered. His first instinct was to let go of your hand so that no one would suspect anything, but he decided he didn’t care about that. He had a feeling that if he let go of your hand now, you would be terribly hurt, so he would suffer the consequences later, though nothing really felt like a consequence when he was holding your hand. Carefully, Harry put his arm around you and held you close. Too surprised by the crowd outside, you didn’t protest. “Just stay close to me and don’t say anything, all right? Did you drive here?”

Shaking your head, you said, “No, I rode my bike.”

“Okay, we’re gonna forget the bike for now. I have a car waiting a few blocks away, and we’ll drive to your apartment.”

You just nodded, too shocked to speak. Harry carefully opened the door, and together you stepped outside.

After pushing through a large crowd, walking down the streets of New York, and huddling into a car, you finally arrived at your apartment. It was much bigger than your townhouse, Harry noticed, with a lot less books. There were a few stacked on top of each other on her coffee table and lampstands, but it was nothing compared to the library you had in Cambridge.

Inside, you kept your mask on, so Harry did too. He hoped that you would eventually take yours off, though, as the desire to kiss you only grew the longer he was in your new home.

Seeing your entire face for the first time was one of the most interesting experiences. In theory, it shouldn’t have been a big deal, but removing your mask bit by bit nearly brought him to his knees. He already knew you were beautiful, but seeing your button nose, your smile for the very first time, it was everything to him. Now that you were truly alone in her apartment, Harry was dying to see you again.

“Tea? Coffee?” you asked, your back turned to him while you moved around your kitchen.

“No thanks,” he said. “Why don’t you come over here?”

“Because I’m nervous.”

Well, that much was obvious to Harry, but he smiled at your honesty. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

You turned around and faced him, your hands gripping onto the marble countertop in your kitchen. Hesitantly, you walked over to him, taking your mask off and setting it down on the kitchen counter in the process. It wasn’t as much of an event as last time, but perhaps that was done to calm your nerves, Harry thought. Quietly, he took his face covering off too. 

“I’ve been praying I’d get to see your face again,” he said, and this time he could see the blush as it rose up to your cheeks. Your smile was small and unsure as well, but it was there.

“Can I confess something?”

Grinning, he said, “Sure.”

“I feel like I should make you work for it more, at least that’s what Cosmopolitan says—”

“Wait a minute, you read Cosmopolitan?” he asked, perhaps a little too incredulously.

“Yes, it’s got a lot of great advice. And its publication history is quite interesting too. Did you know that it wasn’t until the sixties that the magazine started publishing about sex and—”

“Y/n?”

“Right sorry, I was just saying that I feel like I should wait a little bit longer, but I really want to kiss you.”

“Why do you want to make me wait?” he said over a laugh.

“I don’t know! I just keep thinking—”

“You see, that’s the problem, you keep thinking. No more thinking. Put your hands here,” Harry said, resting your hands across the back of his neck. “And know that I’ve thought about this for over a year.”

“No pressure, then,” you said. You met his eyes, but flicked your gaze away every now and then. “I think you should just do it because I can’t stop worrying I’m going to mess up or you won’t like—mmph.”

Doing just as you asked, Harry held your cheek in his hands and leaned forward.

Kissing you was everything he’d dreamed about and more. Your lips were soft, and molded to his perfectly, opening up for him despite your hesitation seconds before. You ran your hands through his hair, yourr thumbs caressing his cheekbones, marveling at the the stubble that scratched your cheeks. Harry tried hard not to groan at each of your touches, so delicate, but still managed to set his skin on fire. 

And then you moved onto his neck, placing tiny kisses to his skin and sucking in places. Harry groaned then, low and rumbly as he pulled you closer to him. “Jump,” he breathed, his hands settling on your waist.

“What?”

“Jump, love,” he said again, and this time, you listened. Harry rested your legs around his waist, blindly looking for your bedroom as you breathed directions in his ear. He was the one kissing along your neck and jaw now, and you struggled to get words out as he worked out all your sweet spots. 

You fumbled around, Harry pressing you against walls to pause and just kiss you and enjoy all the little sounds you made. Eventually, though, you made it to your room, your bed slightly larger than the one in Cambridge. Harry laid you down gently, but didn’t let up in kissing you all over. His fingers found the button on your trousers, but he hesitated. “What would you like to do?”

He let you sit up against the headboard of your bed, watching through half-lidded eyes as you carefully lifted your blouse up and over your head. Your hair was a bit messy, but Harry hardly noticed, his eyes drinking in your collarbones and the straps of the plain white bra resting on your shoulders. It wasn’t until you said his name softly that he realized he hadn’t said anything.

“Can’t believe I’m only seeing you now,” he said, somewhat in a daze.

“A body is a body, Harry,” you said simply. It was the first time you’d used his first name, but he could hardly focus on that.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see about that,” he said. He wasn’t typically the type to brag about his looks or lord it over anyone, but he needed to know you were just as taken and speechless by him as he was by you.

Pulling on the back of his hoodie, Harry slid it off, and then they were both shirtless and staring at each other. He watched as you looked him over, more like you were examining something under a microscope than anything else, but he let you take your time. Just as you had done when you saw his face for the first time, your fingertips gently touched his skin, dancing over his swallow tattoos, then slowly snaking their way down.

“A body’s just a body, huh?” he teased when you hadn’t spoken for almost a minute. In reality, he was itching for more, but he waited until you were ready.

“Mm, you do have quite the physique,” she said absentmindedly, poking his shoulder and the muscle beneath.

Bending his head, Harry tried to hide his smile. You somehow made your clinical comments adorable, and while he would’ve loved to sit and watch you trace each one of his tattoos with your fingers, he selfishly wanted more.

“Alright, here’s what I’m gonna do,” he said, using his pointer finger to tilt your chin up towards his face. “I’m gonna kiss you again, and then I’m gonna lay you down across your bed and work myself all the way down to about here,” he pointed to her belly button. “Then, if you let me, I’ll unbutton your trousers, and then I’ll make you feel like you’re on cloud nine. How does that sound?”

You were grinning, your cheeks pink, but Harry didn’t think you looked opposed. He leaned forward and started to gently kiss your jaw, your neck, your shoulders, grinning when he felt goosebumps appear on your skin. His lips were feather light, but your breaths became more shallow the more he kissed you. “What about you?” you managed to say, just as he began to kiss the tops of your breasts.

“What about me?”

“I want you to feel like you’re on cloud nine too,” you said, shivering a little when he sucked gently on your chest.

“Trust me, I will,” he said, hardly moving away from her.

Everything was gentle, each touch an exploration of what made each of you shiver and groan and ask for more. Harry felt like he was insatiable, pulling as much from you as he possibly could until you were writhing beneath him. Your heels dug into his back, nails scratching harshly against his skin the closer and closer you came to finishing. Again. And then again. And then one more time.

Everything came to a natural end when neither of you couldn’t do much more than breathe heavily as you laid shoulder to shoulder.

“Shall I talk to you about the pythagorean theorem or something as equally dreadful?” Harry asked, leaning over to kiss your forehead.

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “I’m surprised you know what that is.”

“Ouch. Very harsh, Y/n.”

You laughed, leaning over to wrap your arms around his waist. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” You kissed his shoulder repeatedly, being more affectionate than Harry had ever seen you, but he was in no way complaining. Here he was, in the arms of the woman he loved. He couldn’t have been happier. Though he was about to be a lot happier.

“I—I didn’t say it before because I didn’t want you to think that it was just a spur of the moment thing, but,” you tilted his chin with your finger so that he was facing you. “I love you too, actually.”

His lips curved up into a slow smile, but he was hesitant. “Y/n, I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it because I did. Being here, being with you, it’s enough for me.”

“I know that,” you said. You kept looking him in the eye, something Harry knew was difficult for you at times. “I just know that I get this intense fluttering feeling when I’m with you, and I was quite miserable this past year when I couldn’t talk to you or be around you. I feel like you brought color to my life, if that makes sense. I don’t know if that’s love, but that’s what I’m gonna call it.”

Harry leaned over and kissed you, smoothing your hair out of your face as he cupped your cheek. “You have a way with words, Doctor.”

“You think so?”

“Mm. Made me feel all fluttery too.”

You hid your face against his shoulder, but that only made him kiss your temple. Harry pulled you into his chest, relishing the feeling of your bare chests pressed together and fit like puzzle pieces.

“Harry?” you asked. You’d fallen asleep, but you weren’t sure for how long, it could’ve been a few minutes or an hour, but you were still nuzzled into his side, and that was all that mattered.

“Yes, love?”

“Oh. I like that,” you said, which made Harry grin. 

“Noted. Now tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Well, I—I’m just curious how this is supposed to…work.”

Harry shifted so that his head was resting on one arm as he looked down at you. The crowd earlier today startled you, and rightfully so. You’d seen a small bit of it the night before at his show, but the way people had gathered at your place of work made you feel uneasy.

Nodding, Harry thought about what to say. He understood where you were coming from, and while the last couple of hours had been the happiest in a long time, he knew it wouldn't always be so easy. Still, he wanted to try, he couldn't just let you go now.

“Well, I’m going on a tour around Europe this summer, you could come with me if you’d like.”

“And after?”

Chuckling, Harry kissed the tip of your nose. “Let’s not worry about after. Let’s just focus on right now. We could travel, explore, see every museum and historical site each city has to offer. The first stop is Glasgow,” he said, the last part sung to tempt you even more.

“I have wanted to visit the Women’s Library,” you said, and Harry could practically see the gears turning in your brain as you thought of all the things you wanted to see and do, with him, of course.

“Just picture it. A new city every few days, we could go exploring all day, and then watch me perform at night, and after…”

“After? I thought you said we couldn’t talk about after,” you said.

“I’m talking about after the show, when it’s just you and me in a hotel room together,” he said, kissing your neck while his wandered.

“Oh. Well that does sound like fun.”

Harry laughed. “I’m glad you think so.” He leaned over to kiss you again, eager for a round two, but you stopped him. 

“Wait, can we just…talk for a little while? I missed talking to you, and I—I just want to know everything about you. I mean, I already know quite a bit, but I want to hear it from you.”

“Don’t believe everything you read, darling,” Harry said. “Tell me what you think you know, and I’ll correct you and fill in the rest.”

Your eyes lit up at the suggestion of a game, just like he knew they would. “Deal, but first,” you leaned over to kiss him, your fingers carding gently through his hair, which made him hum with pleasure. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry grinned when you hardly even waited for the words to leave his mouth to start talking. “Now, I read online that you got chlamydia from a koala bear once. Is that true? Because that doesn’t sound like it would be true. I was so surprised when I…”

Leaning back against your bed, Harry threw an arm over his eyes. It was going to be a long night, but he couldn’t be happier.

The end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @remuslupinwifee @majasophieanna @michellekstyles @wolwolsighs @harrystylesrecs @cwiphswmwasohmm @his-only-angel-1989 @screaminganddying @mxltifxnd0m

#harry styles #harry styles x professor yn #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot

[gothhabiba]

hi! sorry to bother and if you've answered this before. of course, you dont have to answer this. you mentioned in one post that you were still learning Darija and also your posts on scolarship are very interesting. ive been trying for a while to learn my dad's language since i didn't grew up speaking it, but have always been interested in persian literature and the evolution of the language so this has been a difficulty for me. i was wondering if you have any tips on improving the way a language is learned, since you're amazing at explaining things and making even complicated subjects clear.

Thank you and have a nice weekend!

Thanks for the compliment!

I don't think that I have anything like my own original foolproof method for learning languages; this is the first language I've self-taught for which there aren't a lot of materials, and everyone learns differently. Here's what I've been doing & what I can broadly recommend when learning a language for which there isn't an enormous amount of teaching material:

Be specific about what it is that you want to do in the language. Chop this up into small sections. So, instead of "I want to learn [language]" (an enormous, vague, impossible task—even native speakers do not know 100% of their languages), think "I want to be able to understand recipes," or "go to the market or a restaurant," or "make small talk and general conversation," or "text friends and family," or "read literature," or "read theory" (and for those last two goals you might have a waypoint goal of "read storybooks" or "read materials intended for language-learners or children").

I began by learning the Arabic script (resources for this abound, and the abjads used for Persian and Darija only add a few characters), and I always write Darija in this script (even though most people write it in the Latin script) to get practice.

I also learned the standard phonology at this point. But the phonology for Persian and Darija are different and involve fewer consonants than Arabic, since some of them have merged, so you won't need to worry about the Standard or Classic pronunciaton of some of the letters. The Wikipedia page for Persian phonology should be a good resource; the IPA symbols for various sounds are noted, and they have explanations of how the sounds are produced and playback that you can listen to. Note that there are obviously regional variations in phonology, but this is a good start. This is a script with a pretty standard orthography, so at this point you can theoretically pronounce any word you read (with diacritics).

cut for length:

I took inspiration from how I had been taught French and divided information up into "units" (first greetings and introductions; then numbers and colours; then telling time; then time including days of the week and months of the year, words for "today" and "yesterday" &c.; the weather; family; then personal pronouns "I" "you" "me" &c. and the verb "to have" to begin forming simple sentences such as "I have three sisters" or whatever—you'd also want to learn "to be" at this point, but Darija doesn't often use it—then I decided that my first priority after very basic conversation was cooking, so I learned terms for food items and cooking verbs).

If you can find online resources or textbooks that will teach you things in units of this type, all the better (I got started on speakmoroccan.com). If you can't, try following an online course or textbook for learning another common language (such as French, German, Spanish, English) but substitute out the vocabulary terms by using a dictionary (for Darija I used tajinequiparle).

You may be able to find some materials (at least greetings, introductions, numbers and the like) on YouTube—I recommend using these even if you can find these same terms elsewhere, to get practice listening to the language.

I feel that I learn best from textbooks and by understanding the syntax and grammar of sentences in depth. However, the materials I've consulted for Darija (and there aren't too many materials in existence) tend to give lists of words but no grammar, or example sentences that are translated in full with no explanation. Even materials that do go into the grammar (such as the Lonely Planet phrasebook) are targeted at tourists and do so with an ethos of "good enough" that may fudge the details to make them more similar to French (which is the language the book is in). So I write down and compile example sentences that I come across (there's an English/Darija dataset already in existence to help with this kind of thing) and compare them to each other to determine which word means what, which affix might be the marker for past tense or infinitive or the object pronoun or whatever, and write down my guesses to test as I go. This may be more difficult without an education in linguistics, but probably not impossible.

I separate my studying into two phases, which I go back and forth between: creating study materials, and learning from those materials. Creating study materials means finding words and writing them down in my little book, figuring out grammar and writing out the rules, writing down example sentences, and making flashcards to learn vocabulary terms (with one or more example sentences on each one).

Studying from those materials involves running through the flashcards and coming up with new example sentences for each term (so I see the side of the flashcard with the English "banana" and come up with a sentence in Darija that's something like "they have eight yellow bananas"). You could also have flashcards separated by category (pronouns / numbers / verbs / nouns / adjectives) and pick a flashcard at random from a few categories (the selection "I" / "sixteen" / "want" / "new" / "oranges" prompts you to construct and speak the sentence "I want sixteen new oranges" in your target language); this is basically analogue duolingo.

As you go about your day, name objects and colours you see and talk to yourself about actions you undertake; try to 'translate' as many thoughts as you can into your target language.

You can also construct dialogues or short compositions at the end of each "unit" you finish. Write a dialogue between two friends greeting each other after not having seen each other for a while. Write a composition about your family members; explain how they're related to you, what they look like, &c. Look up any vocabulary that you notice you're missing.

Once you have a decent vocabulary base, you'll be able to start reading. If you can find writing that's intended for children or language learners, that's great! There may also be fora or message boards online devoted to conversation in your target language. If you can find a dictionary from the target language to a language you understand, this becomes a lot easier—unfortunately I haven't found one for Darija (the lack of a standardised orthography would probably make one difficult to make). Persian has a history of being written that Darija doesn't, so you may have more luck on this score than I did.

I have an "index" in the back of my little book with abbreviations for each of the sources that I get vocabulary from, and I use these abbreviations to take note of where I got sentences, phrases, and vocabulary terms from (whether dictionaries, textbooks, youtube, online courses, online fora, reddit, academic / linguistic articles, &c.). This is so that I can return to these sources and verify what I've written down, just in case; and also because different vocabulary terms are used in different regions, so it's a good idea to have a way to look up who uses which terms.

If I come across anything by serendipity (whether in an academic article about some sociological aspect of Darija, or in the dictionary I've been using, since there's no complete words list that I can find so serendipity is the only way to discover some of the words that are in it), I write it down then and there regardless of how useful I think it will be to me immediately. This is because I have no way of knowing whether I'll ever come across it again! I don't need to memorise it right away, but maybe I'll want to learn it later.

I don't think this will help you, but for some minority languages or dialects there may be a colonial language other than English in which materials for that language are easier to access (for example, I tend to search for Darija resources in French, not English).

#Anonymous #questions #Darijaposting

[soap143]

Adult

Lee! Jeongin

Ler! Chan

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For the past few days, hell, even weeks Jeongin had a strange feeling inside his stomach and annoying thoughts that wouldnt leave his head.

Tickling was a usual thing between the group. It happened daily more than one time. But somehow, Jeongin just couldnt get used to it. He always thought a bit weirdly of tickling, but after getting closer with the boys, at least for a while, he got used to it. However they were all older now and had much more work to do. It wasnt unsual to witness multiple wreckings in the 24 hours that he would spend with his friends, but he felt like he wasnt getting as much of it. Back when he was much younger, all the members would tickle him quite often, to the point where he thought that he might hate it.

Maybe they do think I hate it?

None the less, that was far from the truth — that was exactly what Jeongin had discovered. He really enjoyed the feeling of sneaky little fingers poking his sides and scratching his neck. The poor boy would always jump and yell for the tickler to stop, never knowing how much he acctually loved it. Whats there not to like? All the attention is on you, youre laughing and making others laugh and in the end — aftercare. Perhaps all the members stopped tickling him because of much he would fight back and plead to stop? It wasnt his fault tho. He was just insanely ticklish.

He watched his band group members poke eachother over and over again, simply dying in the inside. However he knew that he couldnt be too obvious about it. Nobody likes being tickled — thats a fact that he was aware of. Its very weird. So, of course, he would never dare to speak to anyone about this.

It was incredibly hard trying not to angrily stare at Changbin and Hyunjin poking eachother while playing video games. “Youre cheating!” Changbin plaufully yelled as he grabbed a chunk of Hyunjins side and mercilessly squeezed. Hyunjin let out a yelp and grabbed his poor side. “What is wrong with you?! I’m in last place beacause of you!” At this point they werent even playing. Hyunjin was trying to get on top of the dwaeki while the victim was fighting his long fingers off.

All that was happening as the poor maknae watched. He thought of joining in, but decided to sulk for a while until someone noticed.

When he arrived into his room, he had found out that another member was already in it. “Chan hyung, what are you doing here?” No response. “Hyung, why are you here?” Jeongin came a bit closer to the laying boy, only to realize he was sound asleep. “Poor Channie, he must have been tired…” He decided to let the leader rest. He was quite exhausted himself, so he carefully wrigled and cuddled up next to Chan.

As soon as I felt someone slighly squeeze my side, I flinched awake. I had gone into Jeongins room to talk to him, but considering I stayed up until dawn last night, I fell asleep on his bed… It was quite embarassing, but he didnt seem to mind. The maknae had cuddled up next to me and was asleep. Whenever Innie has a nightmare, he tends to squeeze whatever thing was the closest to him, whether it was his pillow, blanket or… His hyung.

He is our only maknae, our little baby, and I seemed to notice him not getting as much attention as he used to. But then I remember what he had said only a couple months ago…

We had just finnished practice, it was 9 pm. All of us were exhausted because of the long day. “Lets go to Mcdonalds!” “No, Burger King!” “Accualy, Ive been craving ramen for quite a while…” Everyone was choosing what to eat, however, I noticed Innie invested in his thoughts, sitting on the floor. “Hey I.N., good practice!” “Sure…” “Whatcha wanna eat? Everyone has agreed on ramen, but what do you think?” “ Ramens fine, but Im not going to eat… I-I did pretty bad today, I think I will stay a bit more to practice that one move.” “ Oh you really dont have to, not all of us quite got that, we will rehearse that again tommorow. We woke up at 6:30 am today, lets get some rest, yeah?” “ No, I really want to master that one move”

At this point mostly everyone had gathered up next to the youngest one in the group. “Innie, lets get food, Im so hungry!” “Who cares about that move, youll get it tommorow” “Even I didnt get it, dont worry, Innie!” Jeongin was fed up. Why did he have to get all this attention when he simply wanted to stay a little more after practice? “I SAID I WANTED TO MASTER JUST THIS ONE MOVE! Please, is it that hard to get?!” Everyone suddenly got quiet. Everybody but Chan left. “That was totally uncalled for, Jeongin! We were just-“ “Looking out for me? Being careful? Wanted the best for me? Jeez! Can I get a break from YOU. You always treat me like a baby! Well guess what, Im an adult now and make my own decisions. I dont want anyone, especially you Chan, constantly babying me and treating me like Im some child who cant make disicions of his own. Now go eat your ramen, Im not even hungry anymore. Im going back to the dorms. See you later.”

After that happened, we gave Jeongin less attention and treated him more like an adult. He had had multiple outbursts like this, but this one made things clear. However, I just think that he was tired and hungry, not necessarily angry. Maybe he just needed to let some emotions out, and needed a decent reason to do so.

Anyway, I think that he liked and still likes the attention, that we obviously dont give him anymore. Which is upsetting and frustrating, seeing our maknae so sad. Even though he said that he hates the attention that we give him, I can see him sulking, especially when we have fun and leave him out. I can tell that the boys aren’t doing it on purpose, theyre just doing what he wanted. But I can tell how much Innie misses being the little baby of the group.

Suddenly, I felt I.N. start moving around and wake up. “Hi Chan Hyung.” “Hello, Innie-ah” “Did I wake you up? I had a nightmare so I suspect I did… Sorry.” “It’s alright, I fell asleep in your bed when I was supposed to talk to you.” “What did you want to talk about, hyung?” I could tell by his voice that he was scared. “ Dont be afraid, its nothing bad.” “Oh. Well, tell me anyway” “Sorry if I offend you, but did you mean it? That you hate our attention and are sick of being babied? Because Ive been observing you and you dont seem any happier than when we treated you like our baby.” “Um… I guess I just feel more like an adult now.” “Do you like that?” I was met with silence. “Answer me Innie, please.” I.N. didnt seem like he was going to answer my question, so I decided to bring out the big guns. I had always known that our baby bread hated being tickled, but a little bit could never hurt. I gave him one last chance before diving in. At first I just pinned him down with both my arms. “Nohohoho, plehehease Channie Hyung!” he giggled in anticipation. “ One last chance, Jeongin~~ Do you acctually like it when we don’t give you attention? Or do you prefer to get babied like a little baby~~. Little baby bread…~~” I knew he couldn’t take any teases considering his red ears, face and neck. “Little I.N. baby bread, foxy baby cutie~” I lowered my face and whispered, pressing my lips against his neck. “Chahahahahnnie hyuAHAHAHA” he laughed harder as I nibbled and blew raspberries on his most vulnerable and ticklish spot. “ Answer my question or move to the next spot?” “Ahahnswer question, answer question! Pleheahase no more…!” “ Alright then, tell me, do you like being treated like the big adult you are?” “…Yes?” “Wrong!.” I yelled into his neck. “NOHOHOHO pleasepleasepleasechanniehyung listen to meee! You don’t have to do this, Im beggingbeggingbegging yoUHUHUUU” I pinned both his arms above his head and swiched to poking and squeezing his armpits. “CHAHAHAN PLEHEAHEHEASE LISTEN TO MEEEE! I HAHAHAHVE SOMETHIHIHING TO TELL TOU!!” “Oh yeah? Perhaps that youre so ticklish that you cant handle it?~” “ SERIUOSLY! SEHEHERIUOSLY PLEAEHEHESE!” I stoped for real this time. “Okay so you caught me. I do acctually like your attention and dont enjoy being treated like an adult as much as I thought I would, there, I said it!” “Please tell me what is true, not some lie you made up because you dont want to be tickled… I wont tickle you anymore, I promise!”

He promised he wouldnt tickle me. But oh, how much I wanted him to keep going… Curse my hyper sensitive body. “No, it is the truth, I have been a little upset lately” “Well, Im glad that you confessed to me. Can I tell the others?” “ Yeah, that would be great. Im too embarassed to tell them myself anyway…” “Alright then. Rest up! I hope I didnt tire you out much… Sorry for tickling you, I know that you hate it…” Now is the perfect time “Acctually, I have something else to tell you…” He fully turned his whole body to me. Goah, I hate him so much. Why has he got to put me in such vulnerable position? “ I… accualy, its nothing…” not today, not when hes got full attention on me like that. “NO! Tell me, pleaseeeee! Dont make me tickle it out of you again~~” That made me extra scared and all my courage was gone. “I-Its accualy about that…” “What? Tickling?” “Yeah…” “Sorry, I promised I wouldnt tickle you anymore. You dont have to tell me aswell, take your time.” Gosh, can he stop saying the word? Hes so sweet its annoying. “No, I-I want to tell you now. And it is about… T-tickling.” He did that thing again, where he turned his whole body and soul to me, it was scary. Seemed like he could hear my heartbeat. “Well, I… acctually dont hate it. I like it a lot. But I cant take it. And s-sometimes youre a bit too rough.” “Oh…” “Sorry, you probably think Im disgusting or something. I promise its nothing dirty or naughty like your probably thi-“ “ No! None of that! Even though I wouldve never guessed that you like it… I dont find it disgusting, at all. Its cute, very cute acctually.” “You think so?” “Of course! Now, prepare yourself because you basically just asked to be tickled.” He definetly knew how much I dreaded that word and was taking advantage of it. “Beg.” “What?” “Beg to be wrecked by your favourite tickle monster.” At this point I was probably as red as a tomato. “P-please t…t-tickle me…” “Good enough” He lowered his head and started nibbling on my lower stomach and I lost it. He was beeing painfully gentle, probably remembering me pointing out his roughness. I grabbed on his hair and desperately pulled. “Ow ow ow ow OW! Innie, youre gonna have to keep your arms further away from me!” He grabbed my arms and pulled them to my sides.” Keep them there. Now, you understand that Im going to have to pusnish you, yeah?” “Buhuhut I cant keep my arms there!” “I dont care, if you dont, Ill be more gentle” I liked it gentle, but not too gentle, and Gosh did Chan know how to get extra gentle. It would be so painful, worse than rough tickles, which says a lot. So, I try to keep my arms in place as he nibbles the sensitive skin on my abdomen.

He was doing pretty good, too good at holding his arms in place, giggling hysterically, but keeping himself pretty still. “CHAHAHAHAHAN HYUHUHUUHNG PLEHEHEHEHAHEHHEAHSE” He begged and grabbed my hair again. Succes. Raspberries always get him. “Oh no! Was I being too rough? I should be more gentle, yeah? Thats ok, Ill be more gentle~” I loved teasing Innie so much, he would always get so red and shy. I knew I was being mean, taking advange of his weaknesa- rought tickles and using againts him, but in a much more flustering way. He hates rough tickle because he cant take much of them, but extremely gentle tickles are much more agonazing — its just constant anticipation and fear. I start off incredibly gently right in the middle of his stomach “Chahahaniehehe pleheheahahse!” I gently drag my finger around his navel, never bothering to acctually dip it in. I know how much he hates(loves) it. I slowly drag my finger along his side and onto his ribs “ChahaAHAnieEHEhe hyUHUHuhung” He giggles more agressively as I gently poke my finger deeper into his flesh every few seconds. I know how much hes waiting for me to just wreck him. Ive been saving up his energy for the grand finale. “Ready I.N?” “YEHEHES please!” I poke him a couple more times before finnaly diving in. “OHOHOHO MAHAHA GOHOHOD CHAHAHAANA AHAHHAHSNSBA” I start by squeezing his sides rapidly. I switch spots quickly purely for his enjoyment. “CHAHAHAHAN!!” “ Yes, Innie baby bread?~” I ask as I count his ribs, while he desperately tries to stop his arms from disturbing me “GEHEHEHET MY LEHEHEGSS HAHAHA” I can tell that he cant take it for much longer, thats why wants me to switch spots quickly. His thighs are incredibly sensitive, so I start of with them, mercilessly squeezing the firm mucle behind his leg and the front of it, switching quickly so that he can expierience as much joy as quickly as he can. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA KNEHEHEHHES PLEAAAHSHEJDJJEJHA” I quickly listen to his command and rapidly attack his kneecaps, squeezing the top and back at the same time. “STOPSTOPSTOP ENOUGHAHAHAHAHAH” I inmeadiately stop and gently, but not gently enought to torture him rub his whole body. His cute dimply smile plastered on his face that I missed so much. “Anytime you want to repeat this, just tell me the keyword “tickle”, if youre capable of that~~” He was still laying there, panting, but I could see his cheeks reddening up at my words. “I will make sure to…” He whispers shyly. I figured that he may need a moment to think about what happened, so I quietly exited the room.

This was the most flustering yet enjoyable expierience ever. However if he dares to tell anyone about this…

Maybe it wouldnt be so bad, considering all the gang tickles I would get.

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This is my first tickle fic ever. I know the build up is very long, sorry. 🙂

#skz #skz tickle #kpop tickle #lee!jeongin #ler!bangchan #rough tickles #tickle community #sfw tickle community

[etsuven]

rating: fluff cw: none includes: maybe badly written, wingpaimon because i feel like she can be very smart and perceptive when she wants to be, reader is pretty because of course you are <3, summary: aether has a little crush on the merchant he visits often...

note: IM ALIVE DONT WORRY!!! i've had no motivation lately since ive been going to bed too late and waking up too early, and that just leaves me feeling drained.... anyways when i first started writing this it was 12:43 AM LMAO. it's not late now, buit it is a few days later-. anyways x2 i've had this in mind since before August 27th and i needed something quick to write and this was in my drafts anyways im rambling- also this is my first time writing for aether forgive me-

he saw you for the first time on an emergency food run.

aether and paimon had been on the road for a while, and because of that, they never actually had the time to properly shop. but now that everything in sumeru was pretty much done, he finally felt it was time to properly do some looking around. (also because paimon was begging for something other than sweet madames to eat.)

the famous traveler took note of all the items around him as he glanced around the market place, keeping track of things he might have wanted to buy in the future. paimon was flying next to him, talking his ear off about things he didn't care to listen to.

"traveler, look! let's go over there!" the small flying companion was already making her way over to the stand before he even had a chance to respond, which also meant that he had no choice but to follow. he noticed that the selection of items was quite nice, but they were quickly put on the back of his mind as he noticed the person selling the items.

you were already talking to paimon, a pretty smile on your face, and your hands gesturing excitedly as you told her about your items. due to the angle of the sun at that time of day, you had light shining on you in a way that looked almost angelic. the shrill voice of paimon reached his ears, but he barely registered it as he was too focused on the sound of your voice.

"i assume you're with this one?" you spoke, gesturing to paimon. aether nodded, snapping out of his little trance as you continued to speak. "she's been pretty interested in this harra fruit jam, and it was just made last night! would you care to buy some?"

harra fruit jam? he had heard of harra fruit being ground up into spices thanks to its aroma, but jam? a spicy jam wasn't the most usual thing, but it seemed fun to try.

taking out his bag of mora, aether handed you the amount needed for one container of jam, as well as a few other things paimon had secretly picked out. the two said their goodbyes, leaving soon after with new ingredients in hand.

-

aether continued to stop by over the next few weeks. for the harra jam, of course. nothing else.

he had to admit, it was quite good. adding it to certain foods gave them a bit of a kick that he didn't seem to mind very much. he even added it to the food he brought with him whenever he had a commission in dragonspine.

the jam was his way of disguising the fact that he secretly wanted to see you. you had become accustomed to his and paimon's presence over those few weeks, and you had even started to give him more of a discount than he usually got from other merchants.

'you're my most loyal customer!' you always said, the same pretty smile on your face. you were pretty too, but you wouldn't catch aether saying that out loud. paimon, however, seemed to catch onto the tension forming between the two of you.

the lingering touches you shared when you handed aether his items, the shy smiles sent between the two of you, the fact that her traveling companion seemed to be absolutely star struck when he first saw you. (and the fact that he constantly visited you 'for the harra jam.')

it was obvious that the two of you had a little thing going on, and paimon couldn't stand the sight of her favorite person fumbling around like a love struck idiot. which he was, but he could have tried to hide it more, he was embarrassing her!

paimon set her plan in motion one evening. aether had gone to bed super early after a long day of commission after commission, leaving the flying child to fend for herself. glancing at the sky, she noticed that it was around the time where most merchants began to close up.

flying out of their shared hotel room, paimon raced to catch you before you set off to your own place. luckily she was right on time, as you had just started to pack up you things for the day.

"(y/n), (y/n)!!" she yelled, her voice projecting over the almost empty shopping district. you jumped at the sound of her voice, a smile gracing your face once you realized who was calling you. "good evening, paimon! how come you're by yourself, is everything okay?"

there was a bit of worry in your tone, and paimon quickly shook her head, reassuring you that everything was fine. "nothing's wrong! aether's at the inn right now, he's had a loooong day, so he's turned in early for the night!"

you let out a little hum of acknowledgment, reaching into your bag. you handed her a small piece of homemade candy, her eyes lighting up in excitement at the sweet. "is that so? don't wander off too much, i've heard how easy it is for you to get carried away!"

paimon tried to splutter out an excuse, only stopping when she realized she had a plan to fulfill. "speaking of getting carried away.. i'm sure you've heard of the upcoming festival?" you nodded, a small smile on your face.

"of course i've heard of it! i've taken a day off, so i'm free to use it as i please!" the flying child smiled, feeling her plan slowly come into motion. she continued to talk with you for a little bit, only leaving when she finally finished her candy.

now, to start the next part of her plan...

-

the first day of the festival had come quickly, and aether was getting prepared to leave when a small cough caught his attention.

looking in the direction of the noise, he noticed that his travel buddy was tossing and turning in her bed. another cough left her mouth, and aether quickly found himself walking over to her with worry etched on his face. "are you okay, paimon?"

paimon nodded, a small smile on her face before it was ripped away by another cough. something was... off about it, but the traveler quickly pushed that thought to the back of his mind. "paimon's fine, don't worry! she's just feeling a bit under the weather... you might have to go to the festival without me..."

aether tried to argue with her. he could just stay with her and go tomorrow when she felt better, but paimon refused to let him do so. eventually he did agree, but not without leaving her with a few snacks to keep her fed.

now by himself, the traveler wandered around the festival area, taking in the colorful sights and smells of the area around him. it was quiet without paimon, but he found that he didn't mind it too much. now he actually had the time to look at what he wanted.

while browsing for items, aether thought he caught sight of you. he ignored it, thinking he was just imagining things. that was, until you called out for him.

"oh? aether, hello!" you grinned, waving at him from a stall nearby. you collected your items and skipped over, continuing to speak. "i saw paimon last night, so i was sort of expecting her to be with you today! did she wander off somewhere?"

aether shook his head, telling you the reason why paimon was gone that day, and that it was just him for now. "since i'm by myself too," you started, adjusting the bag you were holding. "let's hang out together today, it can even be like a little date! if you'd like, that is-"

the traveler nodded quickly, his face flushing as you grabbed his hand to lead him around. he had a sneaking suspicion that paimon had something to do with this, maybe she snuck out when he was sleeping the previous night.

oh well, perhaps he would bring something back for her. just as a little thanks.

#genshin #genshin impact #aether x reader #genshin fluff #genshin fanfic #genshin impact aether #aether #genshin aether #genshin headcannons #genshin scenarios #genshin aether fluff #genshin aether x reader #etsuven #aether fluff #aether genshin impact

[cherry-dr0p]

Drawing characters (my favourites) as cats: Pt. 1

Nosfer-cat-u???? Real??

Note: All of these are my personal headcanons... Gonna write some kitty headcanons under too because I am silly like that and cringe culture is dead :3

1. Kitty (Herr) Knock!

Here is kitty Knock headcanons!

I'd imagine him to be an orange ragdoll cat!! Orange cats are generally known from what I've seen for being peculiar little guys, so I thought that would fit Knock very nicely for being out of the ordinary and silly. I honestly chose the ragdoll because of the fluffy appearance of their fur but reading into it, they can be affectionate and friendly too. And they love belly rubs. Perhaps he is a friendly cat who originally wanted attention and love for people but after being shunned for being abnormal, he gave up.

Ragdolls are intelligent too, whilst orange cats are known for the opposite. I reckon that Knock seems unintelligent with some of the things he does (getting stuck in high places, running into things etc.) But he is actually quite a smart cat in reality.

He's definitely a stray cat who was abandoned at some point on the streets and had to survive on his own until finding Orlok </3 Poor guy

He likes smaller animals, especially rats. The ones cats are meant to kill, Knock does not. He refuses to.

He is quite an old kitty (hence the gray fur parts), but he's still full of life!

He's also extra mischievous. I reckon >:3

Hes very dirty, his furr is matted and he also has fleas because he hasnt been groomed :(

What did this poor cat do to have the whole town after him </3 /j

Kitty (Count) Orlok

Note: For kitty Orlok, I wanted him to have light gray skin but it was too late when I realised the gray was way darker than I wanted it to be :( I have new pens coming in a few days so I can redo Orlok

But anyways, kitty Orlok headcanons;

But yeah, I think Orlok to be a Sphynx cat. Ive heard others talk about how unappealing and somewhat creepy Sphynx cats look (honestly, how dare they >:[) and I think it's sorta the way a supernatural vampire like a creature would be viewed. Despite all this, Sphynx cats for their loyal and intelligent, which I imagine could be overlooked when seeing kitty Orlok. (You can probably guess who he's loyal to)

I also intentionally made him extra spooky looking too. He has lifeless white eyes and sharp claws, with lots of wrinkles and a tall, lanky stature to catch the creepy aura. I also imagine he can make himself look taller willingly in order to look extra terrifying when he needs or wants to be feared.

Kinda messed it up a little too but dark purple collar. I didnt know what to put for the little tag so diamond shape because hes extra fancy like that.

Hes always been a stray cat, getting used to being alone since he was a mere kitten. He doesn't really get visitors often so imagine his surprise when a peculiar occurance is present and a specific orange cat finds and befriends him.

Despite Sphynx cats having an affectionate nature, Orlok isn't really the most affectionate cat at all. He can be quite violent, which pulls most people away in itself.

Kitty Ellen (Hutter)!

Last but not least, Kitty Ellen headcanons!

I honestly dont know why I chose the Scottish fold. Just saw some photos and for some reason went "Fuck yeah, Ellen!!"

Unlike the other two, Id imagine Ellen to actually have a pet owner who possibly has both Thomas and Ellen living in the house.

No doubt she'd be spoiled to death, with a fancy pretty collar and a fancy little tag to go with it.

She likes watching birds outside the window because I said so >:]

Even though she has the chance to go outside like Id imagine Thomas to do, Ellen actually feels more comfortable just lounging around in the house and just doing cat things. Sure she will explore outside sometimes but she doesn't bother with it too much.

Shes a friendly affectionate cat who likes attention sometimes.

Yeah I dont have as many headcanons for Ellen as I do the other two surprising

And that's all I have for my Nosferatu cat AU. This is so dumb but I love it and it gave me the excuse to practice drawing different types of kitties! Im not sure for this how accurate everything is but Aaahhh

#Cat #Cat drawings #nosferatu 1922 #I may be cringe but I am indeed free #I love cats sm bro #I would 100% adopt Knock in a heartbeat... #Oh and Knock finds Orlok in an abandoned house Orlok probably stays in #and they probably spend the rest of their cat lives playing with the rats and cuddling #Sometimes I wish I was a cat #ellen hutter #Herr Knock #Knock #Count Orlok #Orlok

[beegoould]

I want to share how my mom died. I’ll hide it below.

If we’ve been mutuals for awhile you probably know that my mom was a jerk and a narcissist, so our relationship was complicated and I didn’t speak to her for several years. Over the last few years she drove away the rest of our family - my brothers, their kids, aunts and uncles and cousins - which makes the whole thing even sadder.

One day she told my dad she wanted to go to an estate sale. Dad said he thought it was a bad idea because she had balance issues and her asked her a few times to stay away. She insisted, and immediately fell while climbing the porch steps and hurt her knee. Dad took her to the doctor to get it looked at and everything was ok.

A week or two later her knee was painful and swelling. She went to the family doctor and he said it was arthritis and injected cortisone into the area. A week later her knee was even more swollen, red and warm to the touch. They went to the family doctor and he gave her another cortisone injection. It’s arthritis, it’s going to hurt, he said.

The next day she couldn’t get up and dad found out that he couldn’t lift her anymore. They called an ambulance and went to the ER. The doctors determined she had an infection and removed a CUP of puss from the area. Turns out cortisone can hinder healing and recovery from infections, and sometimes even cause them. Who knew. Thought maybe a doctor would but oh well.

She was admitted into the hospital and had surgery to remove the rest of the puss and remove dead and infected tissue. It was pretty awful and she was in a lot of pain. The infection had spread to her blood so she was getting iv antibiotics. She immediately alienated herself from the people providing her care by complaining about everything, including them, all the time. She insisted that they change rules and regulations for her. My sister in law talked the her nurse who was trying to explain some of the treatment issues they were running into without saying anything negative about mom. SIL reassured her by stopping her and saying, “I’m really sorry.” and that was enough.

Mom moved to a rehab center, the worst one in town because that was all that was available. She refused physical therapy for a long time but eventually gave in. She was still on antibiotics for her infection. While she was at the rehab center she caught pneumonia, and she was admitted into the hospital again.

By this time she was done doing what the doctors said, and the next day she went home with a chest full of phlegm and a wound that needed care but with no scheduled nurse visits or physical therapy appointments. The hospital gave them oxygen and a loaner wheelchair. The oxygen tank ended up being empty.

They got a portable toilet and put it next to the bed so she wouldn’t have to go all the way to the bathroom. That night, my dad told her to wake him up when she needed to use it and made her promise to turn on the light if she went anywhere. She got up in the middle of the night and tried using the toilet without dad’s help as well as in the dark and fell.

The next day they got a full oxygen tank and all seemed well. Dad went on a quick errand that ended up not being necessary. The bank called and said they needed some information and asked for dad to call them. She told him they needed him to go to the bank in person. This happens often because mom didn’t listen when people spoke. She filled in the gaps in her memory of the conversation with whatever her mind came up with.

Dad went to the bank, found out he didn’t need to be there, came home and found her dead. He called 911 and did cpr. An ambulance took them to the hospital. A doctor worked on her a few minutes, but she was gone.

There’s so much about this that fills me with rage. The family doctor ignored her pain and symptoms and his treatments probably made the infection worse. His dismissal meant that she didn’t get treatment for the infection until it spread into her blood. The hospital sent her home with an empty oxygen tank. When I think about how much pain she was in and how scared she must have been, I can’t breathe. But at the same time I’m angry at her. She made so many selfish decisions, and if that sounds crazy maybe it is, sometimes I feel like I am. She fought at every step of treatment and went home against medical advice and hurt herself doing the one thing my dad asked her not to do. And all of these things contributed to dad finding her dead in their bed. Can you even imagine? And my brother telling everyone “We’re going to tell dad that she knew she was going to die so she wanted to come home.” So we could all get our story straight.

I’m probably a huge asshole. I’m probably a giant pile of shit for being mad at her. And her being gone makes me question everything all over again. Was she really that bad? Was I just too sensitive?

Anyway. That’s my story. If you read it, I’m sorry.

#cw death #cw body horror #cw parent death #sorry

[eepybogboy]

so i had heard that some of the newer releases of Monster High dolls were being made with a different type of hair fiber and that a lot of people were upset about this.

i did not, until last night, realize exactly how bad it is.

i had some of the original MH dolls as a kid, but i wasnt able to tap into the collecting hobby until i had become an adult, years after my old toys had already been donated (a tragedy, but not really the point) and before the new reboot was launched. so my doll collecting hobby really began with Rainbow High. i loved that they came with a second outfit, they had long, soft, styleable hair, and they had substance to their bodies! unlike barbie dolls, RH has curves and weight in your hand when you hold them. i thought that was awesome.

anyway. i knew that RH didnt use the saran hair that barbie often used, and that mattel used for MH back in the day and in the reboot. being new to the concept of different types of hair, it didnt matter much to me. i could see the pros and cons of both saran and the type of hair RH used.

now, recently, i tried to buy Skulltimate Secrets Draculaura for my roommate for their birthday, and amazon let me wait a whole month for them to ship it before saying, just kidding, we dont have it, heres your money back. RUDE AS HELL!

well fine. now the SS Fearidescent is out, so ill just get them that one instead. i see in the reviews that her hair type is different, they voice disappointment but ultimately shes still cute and theres not a lot that we, as consumers, can do about it except maybe complain.

and im thinking, whatever, im used to RH hair anyway, and yeah its more staticky but its still pretty soft, so how bad could it be?

well, she came in the mail yesterday, and we were pretty disappointed at just how bad it could be.

ive come to realize that RH hair is not made of polypropylene, the new material theyre giving MH as of this line (ive heard that theyve given g3 clawdeen this type of hair before, which is a whole other can of worms that isnt one of the points of this post), but for rainbow high they generally use Nylon (correct me if im wrong) which is still cheaper and less authentic to real hair than saran, but is still generally pretty soft.

ive never had a doll with pin straight hair (and almost no styling product) feel this BAD in my hands. its coarse, lightweight, and easy to frizz, just from a quick finger comb. i soaked her in hot water and conditioner, and shes only a little bit softer.

i had my partner, who, besides being supportive of my hobbies and listening to me talk about it, knows next to nothing about the differences between types of dolls, feel the difference between the first g3 Drac, RH Karma Nichols, and Fearidescent Drac. on a few quick comparative touches, they noted that saran feels the most like real hair, while RH nylon feels kinda soft but not quite as nice. then they touched new Drac, and all they said was, "ah. depression."

i didnt have my hopes up at all but my expectations were still shattered. i legitimately didnt realize it was this bad. the downgrade is Immense. ive seen people rag on RH hair, and this is WORSE. i seriously cant believe how much worse it is. i didn't think mattel would make a $30 Beloved Brand Name doll with all those accessories and give her DOLLAR STORE KNOCKOFF HAIR, but i guess thats on me for holding a corporation to any sort of production standard in 2023 🙃

anyway, all this is to say, hair fiber snobs, im so sorry and i get it now. this shit sucks.

#my only hope is that MAYBE mattel will see everyone complaining about it and realize they can't keep getting away with it #but people are obviously buying them anyway so who knows #if the monster ball line has poly hair im gonna be so fuckin mad legitimately #why would they do us like this #the SS drac i wanted originally has saran hair #but EVERYONE wants her so she's been at scalper prices on amazon CONSTANTLY and i cant find her at target at all #if this shit continues ima have to go back to my Discount at walmart. fuck. #im not shelling out $30 for a doll they cut corners on. #playing with their hair is half the reason i like having dolls #the other half is the clothes #but petting their hair is a sensory stim for me and they literally ruined it #the straight haired RH dolls are my favorites because theyre so silky #even if they do get staticky if i brush them too much. at least the fibers are smooth #i didnt realize id be so upset about this but i also didnt realize it would be this fucking bad #anyway. #monster high #rainbow high #dolls #mh #rh #monster high skulltimate secrets #monster high fearidescent #draculaura #monster high draculaura #doll collector #📝

[septembersghost]

chronic illness flare has turned me into a soaking wet paper doll of a person, but i have tag games to catch up on and that's a fun distraction 😊💕

tagged by jenn my sweetie @castiel

show your lock screen, last celeb photo, and last song listened to

oh this is probably going to be embarrassing. okay so my most frequently used device unfortunately doesn't have a customizable lock screen. i am very lucky to have a secondary device i use quite often these days which was a gift from a friend who didn't need it anymore, and that one had a really pretty floral/lyric from the archer for ages, but now... (if i hadn't saved this picture of taylor and benji, the lock screen and photo would've been a neat display of matched insanity, could've hit a trifecta with the song too but fob swooped in at the last second.) anyway...

♥♥♥♥

tagged by (polk! salad!) dani @valkaryah: share my top 5 songs I've been listening to.

according to my current replay playlist, and without repeating artists, otherwise this would be very skewed, it's 1. any day now - elvis presley, 2. heartbreak feels so good - fall out boy, 3. all of the girls you loved before - taylor swift, 4. look at us now (honeycomb) - daisy jones and the six, 5. all my ghosts - lizzy mcalpine (the way lizzy has not left my rotation for a year!)

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tagged by darlings @thebohemianbelle and @waxandwanewitchery: when you get this, you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to

similar to the above, but different!!! if i snagged this from that weekly replay playlist, it would essentially be all of the same artists because my listening habits have been in a cycle of comfort lately, but i'll choose five that i do listen to a lot that are also in the list and weren't represented. 1. golden - harry styles, 2. say you love me - fleetwood mac, 3. just one of those things - frank sinatra, 4. supercut - lorde, 5. easy to love - ella fitzgerald

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tagged by @bloodmoonlits 😘 my top 4 current albums (the taste on yours, i love seeing recognition for holly!) mine are going to be so predictable here please send help. (i am making an executive decision to exclude taylor from this, but red tv and lover are actually battling it out for a top spot at the moment 💖)

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tagged by @headfullofpresley and @castiel: talk about 8 shows as a way to get to know me better. this is unexpectedly hard because rarely are the shows i most dearly love ones that i would openly recommend to another human being haha 😳 so let that be a disclaimer here as i wrack my brain. in no particular order:

(1). better call saul: i will never be as deranged about anything on television as i was about this show, scheming times were had, tragedies were felt, cinnamon rolls were eaten. kisses sealed at city hall, flowers blooming in the desert. my unpopular qualms with the last few episodes/ending aside, it was such a gorgeously layered, meticulously crafted show, i loved those characters so much, it was SUCH a cinematic treat visually, and nearly every step was finely tuned and written in such a thought-provoking way. every step was perfectly acted. i could still talk about it forever. kim wexler queen of my heart, you will always be famous. you don't save me. i save me. (shout-out to the magnificent, and inarguably definitive, predecessor breaking bad.)

(2). penny dreadful: this show is a glorious horror, a mess of victoriana, a fanfiction potpourri of some of the most famous characters of literature, no sane person should invest themselves in it. unfortunately, i, not sane, love it to the bone (except for the terrible ending, you'll catch a pattern here), predominantly because vanessa ives means everything to me. the flame to which all moths gather. defiant martyr of my heart. no one will ever be like her!!! she is my fierce compassionate sickgirl heroine, fighting against the shadows of her world, her soul forever unbowed and true. even when she fears that lost, she holds close her dignity, her ability to love, her perseverance. the poetry with which the show, particularly the first two seasons, was written is unmatched. it's gothic horror in a frame that no one else on television has ever attempted, and it felt made for me when i first watched it in january of 2020. for though it is macabre and gruesome and dark and steeped in grief, it's also about beauty and devotion and resilience and connection. "i see no wildflowers here."/"then you need to look closer." and the everlasting heartbeat, no matter what john logan did to her, my vanessa. something yet remains. i remain.

(3). bates motel: fun fact, i only started bates last february, i've watched S1-4 more than once, and yet still have not finished S5. i keep trying but i don't want to do it! it's a rare one where i already know the ending is fitting, i just keep pushing it off. it's a very difficult show, it deals with heavy themes, there's triggering and horrific stuff in the pilot alone that would immediately stop me from telling people to watch (or at least give me pause), yet at the same time i think it unexpectedly becomes one of the most brilliantly done pieces of television i've ever seen. they have this audacious idea - what if we made a prequel of one of the most iconic movies of all-time? - and somehow not only pull it off, but end up making that story richer and more meaningful. we KNOW we're plummeting towards inevitable tragedy and still wish it could be diverted. we are fascinated and repulsed and aching for the bonds these people share, the desperation as they try to survive. every character is flawed in ways that the story tries to claw humanity out of, and it does something distinct in never shaming or vilifying any of the protagonists for the wretched things they do, never talking down to the audience saying we should be judging them or wishing ill on them, but rather examining WHY they are this way, why they act and react as they do, how they have been bent into these strange shapes. it exhumes your empathy and refuses to let you turn away from the difficulties of their world. the house looms forever like a breathing entity in the background. we will always end up in the basement, but how it comes to happen is the more important tale. and it has the incomparable powerhouse of norma bates, wonderful, awful, extraordinary, complicated, half queen, half little girl. she was like a miracle. as with vanessa, i will never forget her. (another pattern you'll see here: WOMEN.)

(4). remington steele: this was the very first "grown up" show i was ever allowed to watch with my mom, in syndication when i was a kid, and i just love it so much. it's such a delight. 80s glamour! mysteries and hi-jinks! THEE ultimate will-they/won't they romance, and she doesn't even know his real name! try this for a deep dark secret - the great detective remington steele? he doesn't exist. i invented him. follow - i always loved excitement, so i studied, and apprenticed, and put my name on an office, but absolutely nobody knocked down my door... i can recite the whole first season intro monologue, burned into my brain from age twelve. we just finished a rewatch a few weeks ago and i miss them already. laura holt is intelligent, beautiful, romantic, indefatigable, the closest thing the small screen has had to a classic noir inspired brassy leading lady, and was FORMATIVE for me.

(5). crazy-ex girlfriend: they put a musical on television for me. immediate hit right there. many of the numbers are parodies/homage, cheeky and clever but still heartfelt. then it became one of the funniest, most poignant, most empathetic, most memorable explorations of infatuation, self-worth, and most significantly mental health that i have ever seen. there have been a couple of other musical concept shows (smash, notably), but none that achieved what cxg did. it's an extraordinary work and sometimes i can't believe it was allowed to exist, and got to flourish the way it did. rebecca bunch could so easily be called unlikable - selfish, impulsive, obsessive - and yet she is so lovable and so real through all of her flaws, how can you not root for her, laugh with her, sing with her, cry with her? how can you not want her to get better? you find, eventually, it was never even about the guys, though they're fun to explore in all their neuroses too. they're almost...irrelevant. "a diagnosis" will never not make me weep. the show is just so important. this is about the story of a woman who learns how to recover, how to build true friendships (#gurlgroup4eva), and how to embrace herself.

(6). that girl: another one my mom brought me up on, and there are other shows i could mention here (i love lucy, the dick van dyke show, the addams family) as far as prototypes of modern comedy go (there is a direct line from that girl to the mary tyler moore show to friends and new girl), but that girl is particularly dear to me because it was influential to my mom, and because ann marie is a character all her own. she's quirky, she's determined, she's got the greatest 60s fashion, she's constantly getting herself into situations, she's one of the very first sitcom heroines to be a "single girl in the city" and to directly confront sexism (in multiple ways, but especially in the workplace and in the entertainment industry), she is loved and adored by her boyfriend (one of the best and most patient of all fictional boyfriends), but she is not defined by don, they complement each other. marlo thomas, the icon that you are.

(7). pretty little liars: listen. i know. I KNOW. it's silly, it's ridiculous, it has a host of issues, but i was hooked. and the thing is, though the mysteries fizzled and the reveals didn't make sense, what mattered were those girls. female friendship was the heart of everything in that story, they stood by each other and supported each other through every danger, toil, and snare, and even when they messed up, they forgave each other and came back together as a team every time. -A hardly matters, but the liars are everything. young volcanoes. aria, hanna, emily, and spencer all mean so much to me for very different reasons, and spencer especially. my genius, tenacious, too-caring girl. down these mean streets a girl must go who is not herself mean.

(8). supernatural: sigh. would be remiss not to mention it, right? have, in fact, written what amount to personal essays and fanciful poetics on this blog explaining at length what it once meant to me, have delved into the folklore urban legend americana of it all, and while i have gained a certain distance from it since the palpable breakdown i had from its ending that we do not acknowledge, those entries would hold true. it was so formative that things which are on this list would not be here without it, and i know that. it's so inextricable that i can't tell what is a thread connected to it in my life and what isn't at times. premiered on my birthday and presented me one of the greatest loves of my life, who i will always carry with me. i would not quite be me without dean. i would not be here right now without dean, in more ways than one. and i do my best to be brave.

(honorable mentions to shows tam and jenn had on their lists: the x-files, tvd/the originals, the marvelous mrs. maisel; other honorable mentions: btvs/a:ts, bones, dexter, fleabag S2, gilmore girls, the good place, jane the virgin, nancy drew/hardy boys mysteries, orphan black, the haunting of bly manor, select episodes of doctor who, i am quite certain i'm forgetting a bunch!)

for this last one i am tagging @nerdfaerie​, @arthurwilde, @desireearmfeldt, @someoneoffthestreet, @freakwiththeknifecollection, @bcyoureallthatmakessense, @setyourfireonme, @dewintering, @joons, @thebohemianbelle, @beckybloomwood, @takeawaythepain, and @wickedhawtwexler, but also any of you who wants to do this, or any of the rest of these, please do, and then tag me!!! i love to see them! i apologize profusely for the pervasive brainrot. 💟

#tag games #jess.mess #about me #managed to fix the formatting after tumblr tried to eat it thank goodness 😌 #i snagged the 13 of your from my recent activity but obviously as always this is open to everyone ilu