#ive been thinking about this all fckin night
Edit: Okay, I get it, I see your point. Charlie Day can stay too. And maybe Seth Rogan. The entire time I thought Seth Rogan was Seth MacFarlane. Forgive me.
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I got an ask about him being a hard dom last night, and it’s all I can think about now. Being taken roughly by Jaehyuk to the point where you can’t walk for days is such a mood - Sophie 💕
can i just,,, jfhdhdjsjs ive been having such a fckin jaehyuk moment all day and its,,,😳😳😳
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meet the muse (repost dont reblog)
► Name? ➔ roxy, ro, rolal, rox, etc
► Are you single? ➔ nop
► Are you happy? ➔ most days, sure, and compared to like, six years ago, lmao, considerably so
► Are you angry? ➔ only on thursdays
► Are your parents still married? ➔ i dont have parents
► Birth place? ➔ a meteor hurtling thru space
► Hair color? ➔ blonde and pink
► Eye color? ➔ orange.
► Birthday? ➔ i arrived on earth on dec 4th 2409
► Mood? ➔ mostly tired tbh
► Gender? ➔ irrelevant, but i do use they or she pronouns
► Summer or winter? ➔ winter, pls thx
► Morning or afternoon? ➔ early mornin
EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
► Are you in love? ➔ yea
► Do you believe in love at first sight? ➔ i dont fuckin kno man ive been in love w the same dude since i was like ten
► Who ended your last relationship? ➔ no one bc it didnt exist lol
► Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ➔ i truly do not think so
► Are you afraid of commitments? ➔nah
► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ yah
► Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➔ la noir doubt react
► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ yes, every day for like, 22 yrs lol
► Love or lust? ➔ love
► Lemonade or iced tea? ➔ y not BOTH
► Cats or dogs? ➔ cats, definitely cats
► A few best friends or many regular friends? ➔ a few bfffffs
► Wild night out or romantic night in? ➔ i dont do wild anymore lol
► Day or night? ➔ day
FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS
► Been caught sneaking out? ➔ i ahve never once in my life had an authority figure to prevent me from doin anythin
► Fallen down/up the stairs? ➔ i taught myself 2 walk n spent most of my early life drunk wtf do u think
► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ once again, only ever day for 22 str8 years lmao
► Wanted to disappear? ➔ this is LITERALLY my superpower
► Smile or eyes? ➔ eyes!!
► Fat or skinny? ➔ fuck off
► Shorter or taller? ➔ taller and its not a high bar w my 5′1 ass
► Intelligence or attraction? ➔ wtf does this even mean
► Hook-up or relationship? ➔ my demi ass could not have a casual hook up if u fckin paid me lol
► Do you and your family get along? ➔ idk we kind of just refound each other were workin on it
► Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ➔ *ten minutes of hysterical laughter that slowly bleeds into sobbin’
► Have you ever ran away from home? ➔ yeah
► Have you ever gotten kicked out? ➔ not of like, my house or family, but like, ive been banned from SEVERAL clubs so?
► Do you secretly hate one of your friends? ➔ who has time 2 keep shitty ppl in their life tbh
► Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔yeah
► Who is your best friend? ➔ i mean, dirk, but hes kind of his own category, so outside of dirk, prob flora?
► Who knows everything about you? ➔ dirk? flora? idk tbh
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late night thoughts\ by me, who is drunk
long self post under the 8r8k ((((((((its me rambling abt myself and life ))))))))
dear future me u should 100% delete this dear everyone else dont read this unless u want to in which case read it its chill
even doin s\omethin i os\tens\ibly enjoy for work, in the world were in, or als\o thru brain problems\ and s\hit is\ like.... s\till pretty alienating and hard a lot of the time and s\omtimes\ i dont even want to do this\ thing that i care about
s\ome of that is\ jus\t the lates\t s\et of work and workin for caus\es\ that while like, s\eem like the bes\t outcome of a s\ituation and pay the bills\..... are not like s\hit i care about
not having buy-in, from mys\elf is\ frus\trating
im s\till fundamentally workin for money and for people operatin on a greater s\cale than me s\o its\ like.... s\till work
i feel lkie a mercenary altho tbo be clear im not workin fundamentlay agains\t my own interes\ts\ its\ jus\t like... goddamnitd be nice ttoo fight a fight i want but i gotttta pay the bills i guess
i probably s\houldnt be alone this\ much its\ never good for me ive been workin from hotels\ and not s\eein other humans\ very much and its\ like even if i talk to friends\ online and on the phone and s\tuff its\ lonely as\ hell
genders\ fuckin crazy and its\ s\omethin ive been like actualllly wres\tlin w for a while even tho i gotta deal w the fact that mos\t of the people i now deal w arent like trans\ or queer or nothin and its\ like... come on. i need that in my life. i mis\s\ home, and i mis\s\ bein around people that were like als\o workin with that and you dont really know that till yr gone i dont even think i could go back to like, old life, whatever but s\till
at leas\t i feel comfortable now openly bein like “yeah i us\e s\he/they pronouns\” in my online friend group and im probably gonna put it on my s\lack at work or whatever but that took time and s\elf reflection and s\hit and its\ nice
i gotta s\tp dirnkin alone at night lmao and cut back on the nicotine bc damn it\s gettin s\illy like come on tara
ON THE FLIP S\IDE :
work is\ pretty good when i can think s\traight and focus\ liek it aint as\ fullfillin as\ id like but its\ pretty good and im gettin better and goddamnit im gonna be a good organis\er even if im not as\ good as\ i want to be yet. im gonna fight
can a job even be totally fulfillin???? probably not lmao so thats a wild expectation 2 even have
bein on the sidleines for now is a bit of a bummer but some recent experiences say: i still got it, and im better than i have been in the past so :)))) gonna be the fckin best whatever the hell that means, im not 100% sure i know this path is still unclear
i got a good things goin w my current place w gender i got shit to do still dont get me wrong and shit to think about and prob always will but like.. its pretty nice and i also feel very comfrotable w my current aeshethics or whatever
im not as “Whoops wanna diE” as i used 2 be which is kinda nice???? its still there dont get me wrong but its easier 2 manage these days
im not a great person dont get me wrong but im workin 2 get better abd i guess thats all u can do
i got some good friends who i care a lot abt and that helps a lot and is good
hawaiian shirts is workin out pretty good for me overall getting som b4 comin to florida was the CORRECT decision bc im lovin this
also geuss my keyboard stopped adding the \ after sss at the end not gonna fix that because thats way 2 much effort
notes 4 future tara: chill out on drinking and nic, read some fuckignnn books, do some other shit idc also fistbomp Yr great and i love u ; )
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you will often find me on the treadmill reading my psychology textbook and can my life always be this together?
(jk ive done that maybe twice since ive been back lolz) also apparently i develop quite obscure interests during exam time. like ive recently taken to reading kuliyate iqbal. ???. and like other shayari and stuff (a jhalak you might have seen the previous life updates where i was quoting faiz ahmed faiz, mujhse pehli si muhabbat). in a similar vein i’ve been enjoying some manqabats too, particularly in loveee with sibt e jafar’s poetry
مسلکِ عشق میں مانگنا عیب ہے, میں بھی خاموش ہوں وہ بھی خاموش ہے
اُن کو سب ہے خبر اس لیے چُپ ہوں میں, کیا ہوا آنکھ میں گر نمی آگئی
anyway life is going so amazingggggggg omg alhamdulillah im so content. and also studying is not a thing. like I'm legit so stress free, it's such little work and I'm p well prepared I legit don't study for days HAHA, well prepared is one thing woh tou you don't know till you get the grade (but according to my teacher I'm vvvv well prepared) but also I leave it to Allah and study when I feel like. 😂 Arabic is going soooooooooooooo much better omg alhamdulillah. like when I was in isloo it was declining and I didn't know why I wasn't doing as well but since I've come back my classes have been better and it's just litty omg litty life (might be bc I'm actually taking the classes rather than just online). hate to say it but when I'm talking to muhammad (like on talking terms) life goes better 😂😂 you might remember from previous posts of not talking and taking tension that he can eff me over that also affected my studies.
so last time i wrote one of these life updates was like 10th april, so ill start with then. so soon after i finally told apa i was talking to him, she was mad lol still is, she hates his guts HAHAHA but like she cant be angry at me seeing her own harkatein 😂 just in islamic terms lolol. then i told zaynab reza, though didnt specify when i started talking to him so hopefully she thinks i just started and wasnt hiding it from her for weeks.
then on tuesday the 16th zehra came over for a sleepover. we video called with apa for like 2 hours, oh the tea the gossip that was spilled in that call. i wanna write it tho its dumb and fickle but damnnn. also freaking hilarious some of it. so itit nani had once started suspecing some scene of zehras with one of her guy friends (in like 2016), and coincidentally bc shes so naazuk she had been cycluing or sth and her leg had started hurting so she’d moan about it hurting and itit nani would be like pata nahi kia karke ayi hai. ITIT NANI CHILL WTFFF FAM 😂😂😂😂 and also how raazi khala wants a divorce, and how she has a bunch of boyfriends, she and the current one and mariyam (raazi khalas daughter, shes like 13) have a group chat together and both mom and daughter have a crush on the guy. astaghfaaar that makes me so sad. messed up dude next level at least keep the kid out of it. we also had to interrogate zehra on their three nights in Marriott was it? after shadi and whether they did it of course. she said first night they were too tired, then second they were really ill so they tried but he was gonna puke so they stopped. HAHAHAHHAH and then the valima happened (which I remember they were both really sick on) and well valima is a celebration of doing it apparently, but alas. they did not. do it. and then poor guy had to go to london and they've never done it sigh.
then watched 3 idiots after she couldnt get over the fact that i’ve never seen it. also muhammad and i were talking (we started talking again sometime in the middle, cant remember how or when) and she was asking stuff so i was like yeah its a guy friend, acha does he like you? yeah, but he knows you dont? yah yah, phir theek hai, time pass hai sirf tou. i was like ya wouldnt be saying that if you knew WHO i was talking to, its not some obscure class fellow or sth
anyway then during the movie she goes, acha so zaqynab do you like anyone else, like from the family? (i told her about hassan, she said she’ll keep a look out when she goes to london. cant remember if i wrote this but she’’s still here bc visa didnt come, abbas bhai’s there tho) that leaves me with sooo many options, like im surrounded by male family my age na. i was like i know who youre talking about, didnt write this before because i didnt want to remember it bc no point, but she and apa are convinced i have a thing for ali hasan abir’s bro, amrika waley. astaghfar thats so flipping weird hes family????? oml. it used to piss me off soooo bad, like they had started from last year then at the 4th jan dinner too, he happened to sit next to me aik seat chor ke and their bakwas began again amongst themselves. khair i was like bilkul bhi nahi hai kabhi bhi nahi, shes like why tho hes such a gentleman and hes not badlooking etc im like why so you want this so bad fam 😂 theek hai hoga, but i dont know the guy. plus i know he wants to be a vet and i dont like animals and he does and i dont want to wake upo with a lizard crawling in my ear or some shiz thank you very much. he seems nice and good fun, plus we have each other on instagram since a few years maybe and he seems cool, hes never gonna like me bc i think hes too cool for me lolll. and religion is a priority for me and i write this last bc i dont wanna sound judgy so wont say anything about his bazahir religousness but instead ill say i dont think i can reach next level connection with allah by being with him. khair yeah allah maaf karey, hes my flippin 2nd cousin yukh thas weird. zehras like chalo ill ask abir (not sure what she plans on asking but I'm curious)
khair then we were chatting and then prayed fajr and then came on the terrace, good stuff at 5:15am. then we got I to bed and talked more then we put off the lamp and talked more then we slept and woke up and lay in bed and talked more then we finally got up, it was around 12, and had breakfast on. the table in front of the terrace door, chai and parathas and jam and cream. then. while we were eating Aliya and Marzi khala with aaliyeh came and then we were all chatting, then a while later itit Nani came, then raazi khala with her kids came and it was a partayy. we had khow suey and it was fun, everyone chilling, all over the house in rooms and on. the terrace and stuff, and then zehra and I went to Dunkin donuts on badar commercial in the evening and shared a drink, alaskan something some cold one, and bought donuts for the jing bang and went back home, and then we were chilling some more, then I. was cuddled up to raazi khala on the bed in su khalas room and Marzi khala and zehra and Aliya were there too (Nani and itit Nani were napping) and we were all chatting, mostly about swinery the talk of. the town (it's this really hilarious Instagram page by some desi girl that imitates typical defence waley auntiyan, maulanas, etc. swineryy on Instagram). then raazi khala was telling us about a new therapy centre she's opening, something to do with child psychology, and about naima Shariff who she did a workshop with on psychology the week before, and naimas mom mrs shariff (abida shariff) happened to be zehra and my teacher in St Joseph's (hence calling her mrs, that's what I'm used to, though still my teacher not so much, she'd take substitute classes now and then) and I informed them that she was abid lakhanis sister (this I found out from sa khala bc she and naima were with them in the december group and that's when she found out) and other such topics. when I was cuddled up to her my phone was on the bed near out legs and I must've got a notification so it vibrated and we burst out laughing and I'm like PHONE HAI yeh sirf aap ke kaam hain and she gives me a mock whack and is like itne chotey chotey bache hotey they ab dekho. HAHA it was funny (to me it was a vibrator joke to her idk 😂) but fr tho, during the video call gossip sesh the night before I was feeling so sad that were growing up, all this stuff innocence hi khatam hogayi hai. can I pls stay a kid forever for real. it's depressing. khair then evening mai they went back
17th I must've been home all day. 18th we went to three milads one after the other, one was at sanas house, she was in the group and used to recite stuff and hearing her again brought back the memories and I was missing karbala so much then. that the anchor was there too, madeha naqvi, they were friends there too and would recite together.
19th and 20th again itna kuch khaas nahi huwa hoga. 20th ko I was talking to ferva after a while, the UK one she was in kcw. the three cousins, moazma ferva and zainab. fam they're all engaged???!!! moazma and zainab are getting married in July, and ferva in 2021 insha'Allah after her university. they're all engaged to cousins. omg 😭😭 why is everyone growing up so fast. since we're on the topic legit everyone everyone is getting engaged/married this year?????? I'm confused???? so many ppl omg. loads from kcw, tonight I'm going to Alisha's wedding insha'Allah. she was with me in vacs in like class 3. she's only 18 marrying a 24 year old who lives in Canada. and coincidentally the guy (Sadiq) is aliya's murtaza's first cousin (phuppos son). small world. actually Karachi world, everyone connected somehow. I was legit do surprised when I found out she's getting married when I was in Islamabad. plus what is this 6 year age gap?? I thought it was so obviously too much but so many people have a 6 year age gap??? oh and I just remembered Maria ladak got engaged, she's 20 and was in the group with us. we kinda became friends after the group lolol. oh and ruqaiya apa got engaged!! I'm so fckin happy like you don't understand. I LOVE weddings of close ones!! and she was the only first cousin (not counting the khalas kids duhhhhhh) not married and omg it's gonna be so fun insha'Allah. but it's in December I think, long way :( and jaweria from kcw is engaged, she's getting married in August. she was such a mother hen omg :’). it's in bahawalpur,and moazma and zainabs is in Kashmir, would've been so great if we could have a reunion at one of their weddings tho omg 😭
acha anyway on the 21st was 15th Shaban, the previous night we were up for Amal and I was following live stream from mehfil e Murtaza and Muhammad and I were talking and he was attending them live from there so he'd send me snaps of the Quran and stuff and it's be on my screen lolol. that night after Amal I also managed to do my first winged eyeliner kinda properly like evenly on both eyes and shab barat blessings coming through!! also did this eye look thing that's subtle enough for my liking: blush from lid to brow, mainly in crease, highlighter on lid, and winged liner and mascara. in the day was a milad at Rubina auntys house where I met dossani and took a selfie with her and sent it to muhammad “your favourite ppl” (bc he keeps being mean about her to me like don't be friends with her bigar jao hi etc (they're rlly good friends tho)) and also met zahra agha and haura merchant and aliya bhagat and some others.
yesterday and the days in between nothing much happened. I posted my full London spam for Instagram highlights, did a few a2 questions, started reading How it Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider. only read a chapter but it's so funny. need to get back into reading omg, that used to be my one true love. did treadmill, spoke to mummy, had a shower nearing midnight. spoke to apa. decided to finally speak to muhammad on the phone. he had been saying that since the beginning (November), and half the stuff I'd ask he'd say on call. so we spoke and ended up speaking for like 3 hours. didn't even notice 😬 it opened my eyes to a lot of things tbh. his voice came as a shock to me, guess I had forgotten how much he sounds like his dad. and you only ever know what a person's like from well, interacting more in real life as opposed to texts. duh. so now I know more of what he's like. an opinionated self righteous narcissistic selfish asshole. you know the types who I find really really really frustrating. I feel frustrated writing this right now. like about the shia killings in Saudi? I posted about that on my story and he's telling me I should take it down and why he would never put up sth like that bc Saudis giving us money and mujhe apna mulk pyara hai. I have no words at the selfishness. they are people of your own beliefs, there's no doubt they were killed for those beliefs, and all you care about is money. he even said unho ne kuch kia hoga for them to be killed, later said he didn't mean that. he has way too many opinions on everything. talks tooo much I couldn't be bothered to listen the whole time. we disagree on so much omllll. khair he also informed me of his future plans. he said he's leaving the group, his dad's gonna be back from the 15th Shaban group and he'll give him his resignation letter on thursday. why? because he can't work with his dad. majorrrrrr red flag. and also they don't make profit and the dad doesn't want to make profit so won't raise prices and aise kaam nahi chal sakta so he's job hunting. he said he went to look at land in gharo past thatta, some 2.5 hour drive (he lives in pechs on freaking lakhani street -_-). anyway next he's gonna go to karbala maybe on ashura, like go on 8th Muharram just for 3 days, and won't go with any group ofc. he said he's taking a break from it and may rejoin later. what else did he say I might actually care about. he tried calling me babe, I was like don't call me that. youre not my babe, no, you're not my baby to be, no. he's really trash. he said that his bestest friend ever is a girl, he's friends with more girls than guys. he's good friends with dossani, he was talking to her just that day on speaker with aleema and aisa kuch nahi hai us ke sath. and he said we can make a plan, you to meet dossani and I'll come along too. tf we wont do anything such thing. I wouldn't feel safe with him. I asked if aleema knew anything (once before he had said he's told her everything and that it's all one sided) he said she knows there was a girl on the group who he's added on Snapchat who he maybe likes (idk if he said she knows it's me or just a girl). meaning he lied when he told me previously that she knows everything. (might be worth a mention she sends me snaps now and then, I do too. she sent me of albaik which her dad brought from umrah etc). he said if I (ie he) brought the rishta tomorrow then I think it would be a yes from your khalas, from Nani not sure, from parents kind of a yes. (abbu will tou for sure hate him 😂😂 I think. I had written long ago I want someone who, after I wrote down the whole list I realised is quite similar to abbu. in terms of interests and stuff, we have such good conversations about politics and religion and stuff and he tells me so much about it, that's what I want with someone. so yeah idk I don't think abbu would like him at all). what he plans: if I say yes he wants to keep it all halal so we won't talk much, we'll be in touch and then at the right time I guess when I'm 20 or whatever or when his parents ask he'll say I have yeh larki in mind and then they'll bring the rishta. ohhhhhhh and he also said that you have all the qualities I'm looking for I'm just not sure of one thing, or bus aik cheez hai sth like that. that is, if I say yes then finally before mutah before nikkah (his words not mine, I'm puking in my mouth) before any of that the final thing he wants is to see my hair. BINCH TF. tharkiiiiiiiii. I kindly informed him it's never gonna reach that point. I told him I'm just talking to him for time pass. I told him I'm scared of him and he could eff me over majorly and he promised in. really straight words that he would never do anything to phasao me, even if I at no or anything. didn't volunteer much info about myself or my future plans uni and otherwise, he'd bring up shadi and I said I'm too young and it's not happening any time soon so idk why you're so pushed about my yes abhi se. zaynab PLEASE never EVER say yes please please please my future self will commit suicide if I have to live with him I'm scared of him I hate him I hate him i hate him I never want to spend my life with him we're so so so not made for each other.
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idol!you and lucas
request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon
word count: 2.6k
a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !! I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily
warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((
what’s up butter cup
let’s dive tf in
as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby
alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies
tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???
all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen
you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE
FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS
(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)
also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)
on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them
eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys
they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”
(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)
and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease
okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one
the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie
“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”
“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”
and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way
okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut
and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot
you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members
but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas
you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other
you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety
and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude
they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD
LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE
but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions
alright so you debut like, days before him no lie
you’re a solo artist bc idk
red velvet was full 😔🤟
anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?
and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?
like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath
you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo
on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR
no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g
but like the inside of SM ? is very cold
if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs
because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not
luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao
anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also
RECIPE FOR DISASTER
the filming is almost done thank GOD
you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧
your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??
literally throws it like you made an oof noise
“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”
“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”
you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself
“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“
and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you
you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting
he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby
you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!
there’s excitement all over the place
he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((
you still got a crush on him /sigh/
one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol
you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook
him because ?? was that fLIRTING
you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING
also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry
big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores
you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming
okay TIME SKIP
your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK
you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song
you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack
what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::
what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited
what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS
NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS
so you do call the king of debuts
and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME
he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES
you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone
u already kno it’s our boy yukhei
he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft
wow i’m , affected writing this shit
“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”
“bUT WHAT IF I-“
“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”
“i know but i am, scared”
“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”
“i mean,,,, yeah”
“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”
“well , yeah”
“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”
“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”
“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”
“okay.. thanks lucas”
“anything for you, angel”
yOU HANG UP SO QUICK
how dare he
you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit
okay long story short you ended the industry dude
all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU
lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel
but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever
when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but
you seldom get a second to yourself :(((
he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(
“good morning i hope u slept well !!”
“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”
“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”
this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean
he’s BIG and WARM
very sweet to you :(
talented and lovely
supportive of you even from great distances
BEST BOY UWU
you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH
“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”
“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”
“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“
when things calm down though you,, see each other
he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of
as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways
you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall
you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates
he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(
the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((
he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs
pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep
you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out
he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME
ABORT MISSION DUDE
and that’s pretty much it :(
months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best
and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members
you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain
he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there
and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport
(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)
he still calls you angel all the time :((((
god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS
but it has specifically changed to “my angel”
your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life
you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??
she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad
immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today
there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad
you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together
you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat
originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up
our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!
he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap
he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong
“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”
“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“
“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”
you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible
he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so
we stayin close
you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings
your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better
you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting
once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him
“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“
he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips
he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin
“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”
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Part 1 Hey can you please help me, I'm a libra sun sag moon scorpio venus and mercury (and dominant) and nobody has really seen me cry or sensitive and I feel like nobody rly knows me except for my brother, cousin, and two closest friends... but they kinda suck at opening up too, and my brother has enough psychological problems. I always get perfectly along with scorpios and capricorns and yin moons bc i understand how underrated and misinterpreted their suffer and pain are
Part 2 And there are these two friends: sag suns with scorpio/pisces moon… and they are so omg im sorry but its so freaking painful. They both have their problems but they both are so fckin shallow seriously. The pisces moon just doesnt understand what life is and is brutally ingenuous. And scorpio moon is such a b**** rly. She has a tough backstory her brother has always been a jerk (he’s mentally ill) And i though she would be great bc she always says she understands pain and etc.Part 3 And here comes the deal: I have been exposed to mentally ill ppl, ocd hysterical and completely evil people who happened to be my beloved family. At 14 I stopped having them and found out they were everything I didn’t expect them to be. I lost my whole childhood (wich happened to be my basic reason to live). At 15 I went to a sports school. They were our friends, we trusted them. One year goes by and once again I am betrayed by my friends and fall on the ground.Part 4 Then, comes the BEST part. As ive said im a scorpio venus. I fell in love at first sight with a boy that totally corresponded. Small detail: he had a gf. He now broke up with her so thats kinda nice (not to sound mean, rly) for me but whatever; I was 15 and I had been betrayed by everyone. At 16 I was dead inside. I didn’t get attached i didnt live i didnt like to be even awake i cries everyday before school and after school and before going to bed.Part 5 I even got to a point of cutting my arms bc i enjoyed knowing the pain i was going through was actually real and not “sumthin you have to go through, its life.” I met the scorpio moon. At first she seemed awesome. Until getting upset at the smallest thing. Im a scorpio dominant and i know i dont need to be like that. I know she just does this because shes immature and has no clue of life. Im sorry im doing this long ask but rly i need help. No one literally no one knows this.Part 6 No one knows i cry no one knows i ever even cut my arms. And no one even notices. Thank god tbh. No one knows and imagines what it is to cry and scream and DIE for a dude you don’t even know. I know it sounds exaggerated but its the truths. I cant fall in love with anybody else since im 15 and im 17 (turning 18 this year) I live in a house ik im moving out of but i dont know when. I live with my mom in my grandmothers and she is also mentally ill. My mom too is always mentally unstablePart 7 She’s been through everything no one should go through. My dad is f****d up with this house and always hides very well we actually don’t have lots of money. My brother is an amazing soul an exceptional person who fell in love almost 5 years ago and still has anxiety bc of what happened (he didn’t know her too) and has too many psychological problems. I’m stuck with myself and no one seems to understand. I’m so sorry for this post. I’m so, so sorry. It’s just I’m done. I’m tired of pplPart 8 Im tired of ppl making me cry Of ppl being shallow Ppl hurting me and seeing me as A B*TCH I just need someone that actually knows. That actually can tell me they understand me and they too hate it all like me. Im so sorry and thank you for having the patience to read this. ❤️💖———————————————————–
It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging time in your life. I know it can seem endless, and it can seem like everyone is out to get you. Once you feel betrayed, it can be hard to trust people again. It is all too easy to be stuck in our own extreme emotions. After losing faith in someone, it’s tempting to write off everyone in your life as fake, shallow, and naive. Constantly replaying the betrayal in your mind will only do you harm. It’ll only make you more angry and more likely to adopt the “me against the world” type of attitude. You’re 17. You’re still young. You still have a long life ahead of you, and it would be remiss of you to go through life with that sort of attitude. You’ve been wronged, and it is alright to acknowledge that, but you must now think about the situation with your heart, perhaps not so much with your heart. The heart can be easily mislead, easily angered, easily fooled, easily spiteful, easily misguided. Consider moving into a stage of forgiveness. Forgiveness in this sense is not saying that those people’s actions were ok, forgiveness is more for your own sake. Start to detach yourself from the pain those actions caused you. Continuing to obsess over the transgressions of others will hinders your own progress. If the wound is to ever heal, you must stop picking at the scab. Let yourself move on. One way you can do that is to write everything down (as you have bravely shared with me, a stranger) on a piece of paper. Write out every hurt, every frustration, everything that keeps you up at night. Then tear it up, burn it, or throw it away. It clears the energy. It’s no longer a problem, it’s out of your head, and you are free to move on. Detach yourself from people you can’t trust. If they’re actively causing drama or unpleasantness, leave the situation. If you can, slowly stop reaching out to them, or say you don’t feel like hanging out. If you want closure, you could meet up with the, to talk. It’s harder when they’re your family members because you can’t really escape them, but you can still with them and talk out your problems. You can say “I’m having a hard time understanding why you did this …” or “I’m confused about this situation…” or “I felt hurt when this happened…”. You must also realize that most people aren’t complete bad. In a lot of what you described, I couldn’t help but think that perhaps some of those people aren’t actively out to get you. I think you may be too close to the situation. I would advise you to get an outside perspective. You reached out to me, and that is a great start, but I only have a limited understanding of the situation, and only from your perspective. I think the best course of action is to seek real, professional help. As someone who harms themself and who is surrounded by the effects of mental illness, I would seriously consider seeking out a therapist or counselor. I am not a professional. I do not know you personally, and so the advice I can offer is very limited. Seeking someone who has gone to school for psychology will be able to help you much more than I can. It is brave of you to share this, and it’s a good sign that you’re willing to reach out to others. Consider asking for professional’s help in your area. Likely your school has access to counselors and can refer you to a full-time therapist.
I really do wish you the best 🌸
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Heeyy Babe saw your pic rocking that black nailpaint and I love it. Fits your pretty hand so perfectly
And I've thought about you so much all night Babe, I can't fckin get you off of my mind lately 😴 and you know why okay I love you that much.
Andd about the poly, as long as Deku treats you well then I'm fine with it 💣
I'm back now 😗 not sicky sick anymore yaayy
KATSUKIIIII 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ aaaaaaaa i missed you so much omg and thank you, i loved my nails as well 🤩🤩
Awww that’s so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ive been thinking about you too!!! 😉😉😉❤️😩
BFHDJDJSJSJSJ OKAY IZUKU U NEED TO COME BACK TOO KATSUKI IS OKAY W IT 🤩🤩🤩❤️❤️ my two baby boys 😚😚😚😚
aaaaaa bakugou-mod!!!! im so happy you’re feeling much better, love!! always take care bub ly!!
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Yeah so i had a wacked out dream last night, im writing it down here because its super silly and i want to remember it but im already losing a lot of the details. So I went to a radiohead concert and somehow i was in some backstage room area with alot of my “stuff” like books and work stuff and my bookbag and all that. i didnt know i was going to be at a concert much like a radiohead concert. anyway, i realize i am basically back stage and try to keep my head down before i get kicked out. some tour manager grabs me like who the F are you what are you doing here?! and i say hey look at all my stuff, obviously im supposed to be here for a meeting, to which the guy leaves me alone. so the backstage area gets crowded and the band goes on, im sorta behind the stage and i can see their backs. then in the backstage crowd i see the ex girl, and i pretend not to see her but she sees me and i sorta wave and she sorta waves back. im semi dismayed by how hot she looks. then ive still got all my “stuff” like on me, and im carrying it. and i know i gotta stash it all so i find some place to do that, then make my way out to the stage where i end up on stage with a lot of other people but only about 15 feet from thom as he is dancing around and being all weird and stuff. they are playing the bends. in the middle of the song, he stops and beckons for the kid in a wheelchair to come up to him on the sage. the kid does and grabs the mike and tells the crowd he is selling shirts to raise money. then all these 20 something girls come out with piles of shirts to sell. thom starts playing and as weird as the t shirt thing was ive been thinking about going back to where i was grabing the girl and saying “F it, we should at least have gone to one radiohead concert together, come on, come out here with me” (this is a thought ive had many times without the help of Morpheus, in fact i feel like ive got a list of things that if we could have done then id be much more at peace, i digress) but im afraid to leave where I am because then i wont have anywhere cool to take her. so i take out my phone to text her but before I can send a note these masked gunmen rush the stage (this is a big outdoor venue kind of place - like in a park) and people start running everywhere. soon the massive crowd has run away, im still on the stage but not many are left. i look out into the audience and I just see fckin Thom out there, wandering around and i see one of those limo vans coming at him and HIT him sending him flying i go running off stage down to the lawn with two other fans who are shaking him like “thom thom thom!!” i tell them hes got a broken neck dont shake him. I get behind him and basically cradle his head and tell the other kids to run for an ambulance. thom is dead. but then he wakes up and is totally fine as a black car is approacing, this the fckin batmobile. he gives me a smile (a weird smile) and is like for you and throws me the keys to the batmobile. im like “what?! oh man the batmobile?!” he just sorta nods his head slowly i look off into the distance a way and there is billy idol (why?) and billy idol is giving me that slow billy idol nod with scowl smile like “yeah kid thats what its all about” however before i can think of getting into the batmobile and driving it away, courtney cox (why her i have zero idea, i dont care about cortney cox in the least on any level) comes walking across the yard, gets in the batmobile with thom and thom shrugs at me and drives away. i look over at billy idol, who has somehow aquired a girlfriend and he is laughing his ass off at me, pointing at me and laughing. Then it went on with me going back to the backstage area where i see all these women from where i work all dolled up for a concert and i say hey what are you guys doing here, they ask me the same im like hey its a radiohead concert theyre one of my absolute fav bands. to which i get blank stares from these girls. they dont understand why i would be so into them them and so i just walk away from them to try to locate my stuff. more things happend but not of much consequence.
the weird thing was ,when i woke up the morning i felt something in the palm of my hand i slowly brought it to my face to examine, i open a groggy eye and behold... it was THE KEY TO THE BATMOBILE!!! oh oh oh yeah!!!
ok that last part was a lie.
god im a real weirdo.
Tagal tagal na rin na napakatoxic ko na kausap. Di ba? Kaya nga siguro nung nakipagbreak ako, pumayag ka na. Siguro sa una ayaw mo pa pumayag pero napush ko na ata limits mo at yun d end na satin. Natapakan ko ba ego mo na? Ikaw naman kasi lagi nagbaba ng pride tuwing nag aaway tayo. Atleast ngayon di na kailangan kasi wala ng tayo. Sorry kung ang moody ko na palagi kausap ka or sobrang toxic. Siguro iniisip mo kaya ako nakipagbreak dahil sa follow follow na yan. Hays pag uusapan pa ba natin yon, basta paniniwalaan ko na lang yung gusto ko paniwalaan. Yan lang naman uli sasabihin mo e.
Id make a list or reasons kung bat nga ba nakikipagbreak na:
1. You’re still talking to your ex. Alam mo naman na magagalit ako, tuloy ka pa rin. Kung di ko pa ipapablock, di mo titigilan. How long have you been sharing stories when we’re still on? Kung kelan umabot na tayo ng isang taon saka ko pa malalaman na chachat pala kayo non. Sinend mo pa sa gc. For what? Ikinagwapo mo? WOW. Andun nga rin pala screenshot ng long message ko sayo. Ang sweet ko don. Bragging to ur friends na patay na patay ako sayo? HAHAHAHAHA sige. Tapos andon convo ng ex niyo? Wow habulin ka papi.
2. Screenshots of our convos when we were arguing then send to many “bes.” Yung sa mga bes mo na babae. Dami nila m2m. Maski screenshot ng convo niyo ni mama na ikinaiinis mo issend mo pa sa kanila. Makapagmura ka dun sa convo niyo ng bes mo na bat ganto nanay ko? First time mo magkagf na ganto yung nanay? HAHAHA sorry ha. Di ko alam bat sobrang sht mo ng sobra. Di naman offensive sinasabi ni mama sayo. You might get annoyed pero sana di aabot sa ganon no? Wala namang masamang ipinakita sayo si mama. Lalo na pag nasa bahay ka namin. Inaasikaso ka ni mama na parang anak niya tapos ganyan ka? How could u even dare? Sabihin nating sobrang annoyed ka pero tf, respeto man lang di ba? Mama ko pa rin yun e. Respeto man lang lalo na sa mama ko kasi gf mo ko.
3. Type mo yung bestfriend ko na si Donne. Nahalata ko kasi iba talaga tingin mo sa kanya e. Malagkit ganon. And you know what, I found a convo between you and Donne. Sinend mo yung piano cover mo sa kanya. Here’s the proof:
I didnt bring it up to you kasi this summer ko lang nakita and its been a year. Tutal di ka naman na ganon. Tinigilan mo na siya hahahaha. So what’s the point of sending piano covers and even asking if she want another want? “Anytime basta request ka lang?” HAHAHAHAHA. Sobrang pasikat ka don a. Dapat sinasali ka sa showtime pabibo ka e. I know its insane na pagselosan yung sariling kaibigan. Pero duh yung galawan mo don iba talaga e. Sino pa ginaganyan mo ha? Siguro it just didnt work out kaya tumagal tayo. Walang kapalit.
4. Yung chinat mo yung si .. para makipagkita. Sabi mo pa nga non magkaaway tayo non at that time? Di nga kayo ganon kaclose tapos makikipagkita para makipagkwenfuhan ng kung anu ano. You even asked ger out sa inuman ng mga pinsan niyo. Wow ha. Magandang palusot talaga yung ‘illink mo sa mga pinsan mo na lalaki.’ I dont believe na “wala lang yon” nung inaya mo siya makipagkita sayo sa morayta 7pm. Kasi imposible na wala lang yon, di ka lang pinatulan kaya di na umabot sa kung ano mang ineexpect mo. It was very clear to me that you tried to cheat on me. FU for that.
5. All small shts youve done. Yung di pagpapaalam mo sakin nung pumunta ka sa bday ni Japo. Pinapupunta naman kita a. Pero nilihim mo pa. Kung di ako nagscroll sa insta, di ko pa malalaman. Yung dalawang beses na pumunta ka pala sa inuman. Yung una, yung bday ng kaibigan mo. Still denying na di mo alam na may inuman don e bday nga ng kaibigan mo na lalaki? Its fckin impossible na walang inuman don. Tapos yung isa yung dun sa mga pinsan mo na nag aya ka pa ng babae mong not that close friend. Kailangan makita ko pa sa twitter. You should have told me ahead of time naman kasi di ba. Sasabihin mo di ka naman nag inom don picture lang yon? Wala ka talagang pake sa mararamdaman ko. So shts. Isa pa pala, yung yosi mo boss. Akala ko tumigil ka na non nung sinabi ko na itigil mo na yun. But guess what yoyosi ka pa rin dun sa lepanto. HAHAHAHAHA. Kung di ko pa makikita na ikaw nagchat dun sa classmate mo na andun ka yoyosi sa lepanto, di ko pa malalaman. Naalala mo nung time na nag away kami ni mama kasi nasabihan ka niya about sa bisyo mo na yan? Ipinagtanggol kita sobra. Idk if nangeelam ka ng phone ka non tapos binasa convo namin ni mama at that time. Kung nabasa mo man yon, makikita mo how I defended you. Pero ano pala napala ko? Yoyosi ka pa rin pala. Di ko alam kung talagang tinigil mo na yan ngayon. Wala na kong pake kung tuloy ka pa rin, di mo lang sinasabi. Magaling ka na di magpahuli ganon. Health mo naman yan e. Bahala ka. Ubusin mo isang kaha sa isang araw or what. Wala naman na tayo.
La ka namang pake sa mararamdaman ko din. Sabi mo mahal mo ko. Naniniwala naman ako don pero bat kasi ganon ang SHT MO SOBRA. Hanggang ngayon rant pa rin no. Sorry a. Gusto ko na kasi ilabas lahat lahat. Hopefully eto na yung huling pag uusap natin. We may greet each other na hbd or kapag holidays. Pero yung talagang talk, hopefully last na to.
Puro mali nakikita ko sayo no? Ano ba namang klaseng gf ako no? I really do hope na di ka na gagawa ng bagay na ikasasakit ng feelings ko. I still believe na despite nung mga nauna nating argument, magbabago ka na. Youll think what would I feel before doing something.
Bat mo nagawa magchat dun sa gurl para makipagkwentuhan for nothing? Damn fck nothing. Hahanap ka na iba? Bakit anong kulang? Di ko ba napafeel sayo na mahal kita? Ibinigay ko naman sayo lahat lahat a. Alam ko ginusto ko naman yon so dapat di ako magreklamo. Ibinigay ko lahat, when you asked for it then eto ako bigay. Ive been a sugar mommy sayo. Sapatos or concert tix lang ang di ko naibibigay sayo kasi eto lang kaya ko. Anong problema ba sakin ha? Ano aaminin mo na ikaw yung may problema ha? Kung oo, jusq lungkot isipin.
Bakit kasi ikaw pa yung nagustuhan ko? Napakagaling mo sigurong magpaikot kasi napasagot mo ko e. Dapat pala kinilala pa kita ng husto. Sana di ko inamin na crush kita non. Sana pinatagal tagal ko pa yung panliligaw mo. Sana nagpabebe pa muna ko. Sana talaga kinilala kita ng sobra para pag tayo na, maiintindihan ko pag nagkagawa ka ng mali.
Worth it naman pagsagot ko sayo e. SOBRANG SAYA KO PAG KASAMA KITA. Yung wala tayong pinag aawayan, puro kilig moments. Grabe yung kilig ko nga di ko mapigilan e HAHAHAHA. Alam mo ba yung pinakamemorable moment natin, yung tinanong kita sa future bf ko if ever. I cried kasi grabe yung sincerity mo nun. It really poached my heart. It really just hit the innermost of my bonemarrow. HAHAHAHA. Yung mga favorite moments ko naman yung mga late night talks naten. It feels like its been a long time na nakakapausap tayo ng mga deeeeep topic ganon. Id got really know you much better.
THANK YOU SA MEMORIES. THANK YOU KASI MARAMI AKONG NATUTUNAN.HINDING HINDI KITA MAKAKALIMUTAN. Yung piggy ride back mo, pag naghuhugas ka ng pinagkainan natin HAHAHAHA, yung mga first ko sayo. You are my first at everything. I hope yung sa mga first ko, yung moment na yun sobrang saya mo rin. If you think na ni minsan di mo napafeel na mahal mo ko, di totoo yon. Nafeel ko na mahal mo ko kasi nagsstay ka nga sa bahay ng ilang araw kahit na mapapagalitan ka ni tita pag uwi mo.
SOONER OR LATER, PAGSISIHAN KO NA I PROVOKE YOU TO BREAK-UP ON ME. Sorry if sinukuan ko na tong relasyon natin. I guess Im not that strong enough para ipaglaban pa to. Madalas ko nga sinasabi na break na tayo pero ikaw di pa rin nasuko. Sa lahat ng nagawa kong mali sayo, sorry dun. Im really really sorry. At sa mga nagawa mo ring mali, pinatatawad na kita. Gusto ko before we parted ways masabi ko lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. I hope di na tayo magparinigan thru social media. Wala ng rant tweets regarding saten. Please? I know to myself na I cant help it na iistalk kita kasi e. Para no heartaches na. It will help us move forward. Youll never heard of me na magpaparinig ako or what. Let’s break-up peacefully.
Mahal na mahal pa rin kita pero ayoko na. Kitang kita mo naman na ayoko na kasi gumawa nga ko ng list bat bibitiw na di ba. Ang sakit sakit na. Nagkasakitan na tayo sobra. Sana pag nagkita tayo uli, yung makakangiti tayo sa isat isa na walang bahid ng sama ng loob. Enjoy mo muna yung single, walang commitment. Para di ka hassle. When you’re about to settle in na, sana makatagpo ka ng gurl na maasikaso, kaya makipagmingle sa mga barkada mo para more moments kayo(masasama mo sa inuman session niyo magbarkada), kaya sakyan yung trip mo sa buhay, yung makakapag alis ng bisyo mo( health is wealth. Mas maganda na may long life no), bet ni tita para sayo, malaki boobs & bouncy yung pwet HAHAHAHAHA, maganda, yung marunong magtwerk, yung marunong magluto kasi mahilig ka sa pagkain, tanggap yung mga flaws mo, yung mahal na mahal ka.
So new school ka na no? New environment para sayo. Di na mahirap makamove on nun as well as I. Lilipat ako ng ue cal e. Maniwala ka man sa hindi, wala talagang pera kaya ko lilipat. La pera pangdorm HAHAHA. Pero isa na ring rason na maalala ko moments natin dun sa ue manila. Atsaka ayoko na may magtatanong about satin bat nagbreak. Im in the middle of composing myself tapos ganon, gg di ba. HAHAHAHAHA. Aral ka maigi ha. Kailangan mo magkadiploma. Make ur mom and those who believe on you proud. I believe on you that you can make it. Wag ka na magbabagsak ng subjects at magdrop. Di ka naman babagsak sa isang subject e, aral ka lang talaga maigi. Kaya mo yon. Talitalino mo kaya. Tamad ka lang. So this is the end. Pinakalast na favor na to, one last hug pls. Ill miss you.