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ninthskzmember · 2 months

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Sharing is Caring. Bonus part IV

Kim Seungmin x reader (pt 1) (pt 2) (pt 3)

IT'S HERE! FINALLY HERE! warnings: whole lot of smut. also, fluff. not proofread. word count: 2,7k note: I thought I wrote this for myself because 2min lives in my brain rent free but a few of you requesed it too, so here it is! ALSO! i'm fucking in love with Seungmin so expect that in there too. i'm sorry this took so long but I've been studying. hope you enjoy!

requests are open!

As nervous as you were the first time you were going to get intimate with Minho, times two.

There is just something about Kim Seungmin that low-key drives you insane—something about his energy, his aura, his expressions.

It took a whole lot from you to convince your boyfriend to let you do this. A whole lot of blowjobs, handjobs, and a lot of his cum.

That and the few times you let slip Seungmin's name on purpose while he was edging you. It started as an actual mistake, but the moment you felt his dick twitch because you said that name instead of his, you took advantage of it.

This time it was different; Minho refused to talk with his younger member to be with his girlfriend, so you had to go and take business in your own hands.

But you wouldn't. You couldn't just go to Seungmin and tell him, 'Hey, wanna fuck?' because you knew he would not do that to his hyung, especially not that hyung. So, it took several days to come to plan.

First, it was through a truth or dare game that you made it clear that you and your partner like to experience new things—ignoring the fact that Chris automatically turned red. Then, it was the physical reaction Seungmin had to you while dancing at the club with the group. You were looking for it, and you got it, but he excused himself right away and left for the bathroom.

Minho silently followed him and told you that Seungmin just washed his face a bit and wetted his neck too, not saying a word about anything.

And the final step, Chan took for you. Another truth or dare game before one of the shows, where you begged Chris to ask Seungmin for you because he just made you so nervous you couldn't even think about saying anything about your plan to him.

”Seungmin, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He shortly answered.

"You can't choose dare; you already did." Chan laughed, and his eyes fell on you. You were visibly anxious, and your boyfriend was playing with your hand, trying to get your attention.

"Okay, then truth."

"Would you join the freaky couple in the bedroom if they asked you to?" Chan just shot, and both of your ears became red.

"What…" He let out a confused laugh and smile, observing how the three of you were waiting for an answer.

"We're not freaky," Lee Know tried to defend you two, and even you turned to look at him confused.

"From what I've heard, yes." He completely ignored his other hyung while looking at Chan.

"You've heard us?" You blinked a few times.

"Yeah, you're not that quiet, honey," he said, laughing a bit.

"I've got to work harder to keep her quiet, huh?"

"Oh, baby, oh, y/n." Seungmin started teasing, "You're my fucking slut and only mine."

"That's not me."

"That's definitely you," you laughed.

[…]

You knew. You knew what Seungmin liked, and you worked hard to please him.

You were just sitting in your bed, daydreaming about how the night would go, daydreaming if Minho would join you both or not, because this time, there were no conditions.

Minho likes to watch, but he is free to join if he wants to. And you just got wet at the thought of your man guiding his group member to please you just the way you like.

You heard two pairs of footsteps coming to the door. Your boyfriend's silhouette appeared when he opened the door, and behind him, Seungmin walked in.

"Seungmin, I want you to know that she wanted this. I'm just watching." Your boyfriend took a seat on the legendary couch, where he was at the time you had sex with Chan. "Also, Chan Hyung made a mess with her; I hope you can get her to be even messier."

Not another word was said; Seungmin took a look at you.

Lilac little dress, not showing anything but suggesting everything. Your makeup is prettily done, knowing exactly how it wouldn't last for long like that.

He took a few steps to you, but you couldn't bring yourself to look him in the eye, so he took your chin, making you look up

"So you're all shy now?" He smiled, kinda making fun of you "You made this whole deal and now you're acting shy?" the way he was talking to you was so sweet yet so sour.

"C'mon love, you've been moaning his name for a while now, go ahead and do what you're good at doing"

"Oh, so, my name?"

"You're the one who's more alike to Minho personality wise, it makes sense to me" you defended yourself

"Why did you let Chan hyung fuck you first?" he asked

"Let's say... Min kind of gaslit me into that..."

"Yeah, as if you didn't fucking squirt all over my dick when I pronunced hyung's name" he attacked back and the younger man leaned his head as a pup, still making eye contact with you.

"Min" you looked at your boyfriend

"Ok, alright" he sighted "Do something, you're making me bored" he manspreaded on the couch and lightly touched himself above his trousers.

The second you turned back to look at Seungmin, his lips were already on yours, tasting you for the first time.

Neither Chan or your own boyfriend were bad kissers, none at all, but Seungmin was something else; his lips were not as soft as Chris's, he was tougher, like he was starving. Starving the taste of your lips, of your tongue, of your spit.

It made you wonder how many times has he fantasied about this, how many times has he touched himself at the sound and thought of Minho and you having sex.

A little whimper exited his mouth when you brought your body closer to his, crashing softly with the tent on his pants.

You moved your hands towards Seungmin's head, caressing his hair and taking advantage of it to deepen de kiss, if it was possible.

"I'll make you moan my name myself. You won't forget it" he whispered on top of your lips when both pulled away a bit to breathe. His words travelled directly to your pussy, feeling the wetness come out unannounced.

"Please do, puppy" you teased.

He grabbed you from your thighs and raised you in the air, making you wrap your legs around his hips. Made his way to lay you on the bed, the same bed his two older hyungs fucked you in before.

He passed his kisses to your jaw and neck, leaving there soft and sweet ones, and just in the moment you thought nothing about, he nailed his teeth into you. Not strong enough to scare you but enough to make you bite your lower lip; your legs still wrapped around him, making him closer to you at the action that he did.

"What's going on, sweety? So needy for me already?" He caressed your face at his words, and such action made you blush slightly.

"If you don't take the clothes off, she will indeed stain them" Minho spoke again but there was not feedback from either of you, just a small chuckle from Seungmin.

"You look gorgeous with that dress. I bet you look better without it" proceeding to unbutton the front of the piece, smiling while looking at you.

"You're making me shy, this is not what it was supposed to be" you said while hiding your face in your hands

"Hey, don't do that" he took your wrists and pinned them to each side of your head "Seems like you need to be reminded how pretty you are"

Seungmin took it off, letting your pink lingerie be seen. He smiled, taking your hand and observing your nais. Your pink sharp almond nails that matched your underwear, with a Hello Kitty sticker in the middle one.

"You got all ready for me, beautiful" he bitted his lip "You know what I like"

Seungmin took his clothes off, only leaving his black boxer on.

He was not as fit as Chan and or your boyfriend, but oh hell, did he look good without any clothes on... His shoulders, his tummy, his arms, his legs, everything about him was turning you on.

The man took place on top of you, grinding his cock into you, smiling at the feeling.

"I've been wanting to do this since you fucking pressed your ass against my cock that night" he said

"It's been longer since I've been wanting to fuck you"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes"

"Since when?"

"Since you've got that fucking blonde mullet on" you moved your hips to his rythm

"You like it?"

"I fucking love it" You reached your hand to his hair, messing it up while he smiled brightly, as if you were petting a dog.

He imitated your movement, but downwards, stimulating your clit, looking for a moan from you, which he got and realized how pretty his name sounded on your horny mouth.

You took his wrist and started moving as you liked. He stopped you with his other hand, and inserting frist one finger in, hearing that beautiful sound from you again. Then, there were two of them inside of you, while you were desperately to fuck yourself into his hand.

"So wet already, love" he pecked you "Would you like my dick deep inside of you?" he asked before kissing your neck softly

"Yes Minnie, please" your answer was breathless, and you followed his movements with your desesperate eyes.

He took his boxer off, letting you see the most fucking perfect penis you've actually seen. Porn directors would a hundred percent want him in their movies.

Your soaked panties left your body just as your bra did, and after a few seconds, the younger in the room was penetrating you.

"Wait Seungmin, wait wait wait wait" You stopped him with your hand on his abs when he was midway inside.

"What? What's wrong?" His eyes exposed that he was about to freak out, thinking that he hurt you.

"I'm gonna cum" you breathed deeply in and out, trying to calm down

"After so little foreplay?" He smiled "please do, puppy" he teased this time, while going down on your neck with wet kisses

"I want to feel you all the way in before. Dick feels so good, so warm, so fucking amazing" after the words left your mouth, you felt his dick twitch inside of you. His lips formed the brightest smile and went back to kiss yours.

"I swear I want to go full in" he said in between kisses "you're so tight I'm scared to hurt you"

"You can go now" you informed and he resumed his way inside your pussy as your back arched into the mattress.

"You like that?" He smiled "You like the feeling of my dick opening you up, don't you?"

"Oh god, yes" you left your head fall backwards

"You're so pretty, y/n" he praised "You look so pretty, I'd fuck you anytime. I promise next time you grind your ass against my cock in the club, I'm fucking you right in the bathroom stall"

You didn't answer, immerse in the feeling of pleasure he was giving you

"You heard me?" He asked in sync with hitting your cervix

"Oh god, yes pup, I did!" you screamed

"That's good" he started moving in and out in a slow peace, enjoying every moment of feeling your clenched walls around him.

"Min more, please" you moved your hips "Can I come? I've been holding it just to feel you, please pup" you whined

"You're so good, y/ninnie" he pushed deep inside of you, hitting your cervix again "Of course you can come, it's the first of many tonight" he whispered in your ear and rushed his motions, making your boobs jump up and down, catching them with his hands; one each.

"Oh Minnie is this feels so good" your moans being at the rhythm of the sound of his thrusts turned Seungmin on so much he had to stop for a minute, making you whine pet naming him.

The next second his face in between your thighs, making you see blurry with his mouth only. You reached his hair and pulled his hair with force while you came all over his mouth, and he happily taking your fluids.

"You're so yummy, babe" he said going in for a kiss to make you taste your own arousal.

You moaned in his mouth while sucking his tongue clean.

"Sit."

He obeyed without any other word, taking a seat on the bed.

Didn't ever got on your knees and your mouth was already watery at the sight of his pinky cock, reaching for it with it.

"You've got a pretty dick, did I tell you that?" You licked the tip, hearing what you could swear it was the prettiest sound that came out of Seungmin's mouth; and that's a lot to say being the singer he is.

His whines were so comforting you wanted to keep him like that for a while. Got him deeper inside your mouth while sucking and gagging around his tip when it went to the back of your throat.

"The best head I've ever had" You smiled with him inside your mouth, your ego was at it's best; it's nice to hear it from someone else.

You took him so deep that your nose was touching his belly, and with your peripheral view, you saw how his grip tightened on the sheets along with a whimper that turned your inside on fire again.

"Kim Seungmin, you're turning even me on with those" Your boyfriend protested and you couldn't help but laugh, making the boy cum from the extra stimulation of your vocal chords opening and closing.

You choked on his cum, coughing and even it coming out of your nose.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Seungmin took you in his arms and sitted you right where he was before "I reall didn't expect to cum"

"It's okay, It's okay" you conforted him "I just need some water"

"Here" he handed you a bottle from the little table, caressing your arm while you drank the liquid. "I'm sorry, honey"

"It's okay" you smiled and caressed his cheek

"Can I make it up to you?" he used his puppy eyes against you, and you couldn't resist it one bit, taking him close to you and kissing his lips; he slowly laid you down, not breaking away from you.

He grabbed your boobs and squeezed them softly, making you moan softly, wrapping your legs around his hips.

The kiss broke away when you both needed to breathe, and Seungmin took advantage of it, attaching his forhead with yours while softly thrusting inside of your pussy again.

Slowly fucking you missionary, his lenght felt like heaven and once again, made you feel close fast.

"Min, I'm close, but I want you to keep fucking me, please" your back now arched into the matress again.

"Whatever the princess wants, princess gets" he became rougher with his movements, but never too much. Hands caressing your cheeks as he kept going.

Yes, he was completely different from what you thought he was going to be. You thought he'd be rough, mean and sassy, but it was a nice surprise to know that he's so loving and sweet when fucking.

"Oh, right there babe" you whimpered and he repeated his movements for a while, making you cum around his dick, and still fucking you through your high.

Your moans were messy, high pitched as always, and the overstimulation made you hit multiples orgasms at once.

You clenched so hard around Seungmin that he came again, being overstimulated too, filling you up so much that both of your thights were covered in your juices and his cum.

Your moans were unintentionally harmonizing, and neither of you could ―or wanted― to stop.

When he could and went over to pull out, you stopped him.

"Stop, Seung. Come here, stay there for a while" you took him by his shoulders and hugged him withouth disconnecting your genitals.

"We're definetely having a talk later" Your boyfriend reappered on your mind when he spoke.

You forgot about that part.

#skz #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #lee know #skz smut #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin #seungmin #seungmin x y/n #seungmin smut #seungmin fluff #seungmin x you #minho x y/n #lee know imagines #seungmin imagine #seungmin imagines

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pathetic-tboy · 3 months

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erotica‼️ cnc scene

im running through the woods away from the woman chasing me. i got a head start but i can hear her every now and then shouting something akin to "youre not gonna get far, puppy." im hardly wearing anything, just a collar and a pair of panties she let me keep just so she could emasculate me a little. i got myself out of the binds easily this evening. of course now its dark and i dont know how long ive been here for, or how i got here. beyond that, i dont know how far away from the rest of the world i am. the amount of time ive spent running tells me im pretty far.

im trying to stay quiet, but eventually i trip on the root of a tree, and yelp as i tumble. i hear her then. she found me. by the time i try to get up again she pushes me back to the ground.

"aw, we're not even that far yet." she teases me as she grabs my collar and yanks me so that im sitting down, looking up at her with wet eyes. "dumb little cuntboy isnt that fast, huh?" she coos at me while pulling my face so that my nose is pressed up against her hot bulge in her jeans. i turn away from it.

"ugh, please!" i cry out, failing to notice that shes fishing her cock out with her free hand. "let me g-" im interrupted by her warm meat in my mouth, pushing past my lips and down my throat. i choke around it while she fucks my face rough, as if she doesnt care if i can breathe. im whimpering but it just sounds like moaning from how fast shes fucking my mouth.

"aw, dumb little puppy, what was it you were saying?" she teases as she pulls my head down all the way onto her dick. i cant breathe anymore. i try to back up and push away, but shes much stronger than me. she holds me there for far too long. im getting a little dizzy.

"if you really wanted to get away, youd be fighting back harder." she finally releases me, i cough on the floor of the woods, gasping for air. "or are you just sooo weak that you just CANT get away?"

"ugh- please-" i whine as she covers my mouth with her hand, her other one breaching the waistband of my underwear. i gasp as she pushes a finger into my pussy, wet from the struggle.

"fuuuck, youre so wet, puppy, you must really want this." she takes her hand off my mouth and to my collar, and before i can argue, pulls me into a sloppy kiss. she pushes her tongue into my mouth while she expertly fucks my pussy with her fingers. i moan into her lips as i try to push her away, but i cant. im not strong enough.

eventually, she releases me, but only to yank down my panties, and grab my waist. she pulls my hips up flush against hers, and places my ankles on her shoulders. i cant even move away as i freeze up like a prey animal, only making obscene noises as she rubs her cockhead on my tdick. she notices.

"aw, wheres that fight? i love it when you fight, you dumb little puppy." she chuckles, spreading my wetness from my pussy to my dick.

"ugh, no!" i cry out, trying to move away, but she pins me down anyway. "im not a dumb puppy....."

"oh, youre SUCH a dumb puppy. so wet when im about to breed you." shes not even fucking me yet and i could cum. i freeze again at her words. i feel my tcock twitch against my will at the thought of carrying my attacker's baby.

"no, dont!" i buck my hips, trying to move away. "i cant get pregnant! not right now! testosterone isnt birth control please-" but i trail off into a moan as she pushes her cockhead inside my wet pussy.

"well thats the point of breeding, you dumb fucking puppyboy." all i can do is gasp loudly as she pushes inside me, filling me up. "fuck, youre so wet." she plants her hands beside my neck and begins pounding me. i moan as my pussy makes obscene noises around her cock violating me. using me. breeding me.

i push against her shoulders with all my might but she doesnt even move an inch. she just laughs at me. "fuuuck, youre so weak." and i feel her fuck me even harder. "i love it when you try to resist me."

"uhhhm, no!" i can hardly even voice a protest anymore as i moan. it feels too good. shes right, i realize. she was right all along. i do want it.

i grip her shoulders, dragging my nails down her back as i buck up my hips to meet hers. "f-f-fuck-" i stammer out between moans.

"what was that, puppy?" she doesnt stop fucking me like she owns my pussy, and she does. i know she does.

"feels- good-" i gasp out. i feel her pound into me even harder after i say that.

"fuuuuck," she moans out breathily, "yes, it does."

i grip onto her upper arms hard as my first orgasm washes over me. "im cumming! im cumming!" i cry out as my pussy spasms around her cock, trying to milk it for everything it has. but shes not ready yet. she keeps pounding into me, and i feel an even more intense orgasm rushing to take its place. "fuck- its too much!" i whine as i try again to push her away.

"aw, but you wanted it so bad before." she didnt stop. she keeps fucking me until i feel tears in my eyes. i cum again, crying out.

"fuck, youre cumming AGAIN?" she acts appalled as if she wasnt the one forcing me to. my pussy keeps making disgusting wet sounds around her invading prick. "fuck, i might just cum, puppy."

i gasp as i remember her threats to put a baby in me. "no! not inside!" i cry out between moans, but i scream as my third orgasm comes, even more powerful than the first 2.

"fuck, gonna cum, puppy." and i cant even voice another protest as i lay limply, pliant for her to pump her semen into.

she lays on top of me for a while, her cock still twitching inside me, making me moan quietly as i lay completely limp, still gasping for air and coming down from the powerful orgasms she made me have.

eventually, she pulls out, standing up and putting her soft dick away. she leans down, brushing a wet strand of hair from my face.

"aw, baby, was that fun?" she coos, rubbing my cheek with her thumb.

"mhm.... wuff." i mumble. she giggles.

"aw, ok, baby." she bends down and scoops me up into her arms. "lets go get you cleaned up, ok?"

"mmmm" i mumble tiredly, shutting my eyes and snuggling into her chest.

"aw, ok." she kisses my sweaty forehead and walks us home.

#this is ab my gf btw (fantasy w her) <3 #t4t nsft #ftm nsft #trans nsft #st4t nsft #ftm bottom #ftm sub #ftm breeding #ftm cnc #ftm preyboy #mtf4ftm nsft #mtf4ftm #ftm4mtf #tf4tm #tm4tf #mtf domme #mtf top

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candiid-caniine · 6 months

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Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

#t4t nsft #asks #gen #denial #h/d #advice #💫 anon

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thedisablednaturalist · 2 months

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Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

#wrenfea.exe #doctors and nurses dont fucking clown on this post #anything you say needs to be backed up by sources with apa citation thrown in for good measure #this is my personal experience dont tell me im exaggerating or just havent tried hard enough #i will kick you with my horse legs and then go lie down for 4 hours #bedbound people i am sending you so much love and will probably be joining you in a few years #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #fibromyalgia #disability #chronic illness #from the field #physically disabled #this also applies to neurodivergent and mentally ill people but pls don't derail #this is mainly about physical disabilities #you are welcome to make your own post and reference mine if you want @ me and ill reblog it #sometimes im like oh i cant be disabled bc i do all this stuff im a faker inflatrating the community #and then i have days like today where i cannot leave my bed #i am so pissed off that people with long covid and ME have to go through that fucking exercise rehabilitation program #that actively makes their mitochondria worse #you wouldnt start using a vase without fixing the cracks first #the water will spill out and the flower will die #degenerative disc disease

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shadowzewolf · 1 year

Text

Luka Couffaine X Reader Smut

Sooo, Ive only read one Luka smut and I need more so I decided to make one for myself 🙌 here it issss (Both characters are aged up)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat down and closed my eyes listening to the beautiful melody Luka played on his guitar. It was around 10 in the afternoon and the darkness and sound of the crickets made it sound ten times better. I wish he would touch me like he does his guitar, careful, soft, and slow. I stifled a small laugh at my thoughts and opened my eyes to find cyan-colored eyes looking at me, admiring me.

“What are you laughing at?” Luka said with a smile

“Oh nothing,” I said and smiled back

Before I could say anything else we get interrupted by Anarka and Juleka.

“Luka, me, and Juleka are going out for the night and won’t be back till tomorrow morning. Y/N if you're going to stay the night you can sleep on Julekas bed, ok?” Ankara said

“Alright mom have fun,” Luka said and smiled, continuing to strum his guitar

I waved at them and looked back at Luka. I've liked him for a while now and honestly, it's been hard but I think I'm finally getting the courage to tell him later tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat down on Luka's bed and finished drying my hair with a towel. Luka came in a few seconds later, his hair still wet from his shower as well.

“Sooo I know your mom said I can have Julekas bed but, do you mind if I sleep with you in yours,” I smiled innocently at him and waited for his response

“Yeah sure if you want, I don't mind” He smiled, and it looked like he tried hiding the small blush that spread across his cheeks, but I could definitely tell.

He turned off the lights and got into bed. I sat up and put my hands on the back of my bra straps.

“Do you mind If I take off my bra? I usually sleep with it off” I asked

“Oh, uh yeah that fine” He said quietly and turned facing the wall

I take it off and drop it on the floor, before climbing into bed with him. If im wanting to do it today then I should just tell him now.

“Hey, Luka?” I asked

“Yes?” He said and turned around to face me

“I've been wanting to tell you this for a while but, I've liked you since the day we met,” I said, trying to avoid eye contact with him, as my cheeks get redder and redder every second.

I feel him move his hand to my cheek, making me face him. Even in the dark, I could tell his cheeks were red as well, and the way his eyes looked at me with a glazed look, made me nervous.

He came closer, his lips inches apart from mine before he moved his lips to my ear.

“I’ve liked you since the day we met too,” he said before backing up and looking into my eyes, his hand slowly caressing my cheek.

Fuck it

I lean in closer and kiss him, he seems shocked at first but accepts it and kisses back. I feel his hands push me in closer and in an instant im on top of him. His hands move up to my cheeks, as mine to his hair, still a little damp from the shower. We stop kissing, both out of breath, before continuing our little make out session.

He slowly sits up and places his hands on my hips, before moving his lips down to my neck. I moaned quietly as I feel him suck and bite at my neck, leaving little marks. I slightly pull at his hair, and without thinking I begin grinding on him.

He let out a little “fuck” surprised at the sudden movement, but accepts it, using his hands to maneuver my hips more into him.

I grab his shirt and help him take it off, before removing mine. Both of his hands move up to my breast and he begins massaging one while kissing the other. I let out a moan at the feeling of his mouth sucking and nibbling slightly at my nipple. As he works his way to the other, I move one hand from his hair down to his sweatpants. I palm his dick over the fabric, feeling it get harder with every touch.

I feel him moan, and the vibration on my breast makes me shiver. He lets go of my breasts and takes off his sweatpants before helping me remove mine. I move down to his dick and touch it through his underwear.

“Want some help?” I ask looking up at him

He nods his head as I slowly remove his underwear. His dick pops up, a little pre-cum on the tip of it.

It felt big when I was touching it from his underwear but damn, it’s bigger than I thought.

I grab it and move my thumb across his tip, the pre-cum feeling sticky on my thumb. I look up at him and admire his beautiful face.

He’s looks so flustered… and beautiful

I move my hand up and down slowly, kissing it while looking up at him every now and then. I do that for a few seconds before putting my mouth on it and sucking him off. He grips the sheets and tries to stifle a moan but can't as he lets it out. I continue sucking him, moving my hands up and down at the ends I can't reach. After a while, I feel him twitch and I remove his dick from my mouth with a “pop” sound.

“Why’d you stop?” He asks out of breath

“You can’t come just yet, it wouldn't be fun if your the only one getting pleasured,” I smiled, stroking his dick and blowing on it slightly before looking up at his red face.

I take my underwear off and push him down on the bed, getting on top of him again. I grab a condom from his drawer and push his dick slowly into me. He places his hands on my hips and waits for me to move. He could tell I looked a little uncomfortable and put one of his hands on my cheek

“Does it hurt?” He asks feeling a little worried

“A little, but I'll get used to it,” I said and smiled at him, grabbing his hand and kissing it slowly

After a bit, the slight pain feeling is gone and I move my hips up before pushing them down. I let out a moan and keep jumping up and down on his dick. Pleasure filled both of us as I continue to move up and down on him.

He keeps his hands on my hips and turns us over so he's on top. He doesn't give me time to adjust before he begins thrusting into me. Every thrust he does makes me moan louder and louder as he groans at the feeling too.

“Lukaaa~ dont stop please!” I yell out

He thrusts faster into me and pushes my head up to kiss me, our tongues dancing together. A string of saliva connects our lips as he looks at me with loving eyes. I can feel myself about to cum, and him too as his dick twitches in me.

The sound of skin hitting, heavy breathing, and moans are the only thing heard throughout the boat.

As his thrusts get sloppier and sloppier, we both let out a moan as we cum at the same time. We're both breathing heavily as he looks down at me and kisses my forehead. Taking his dick out and throwing the condom away he goes to get wet rags to wipe himself and myself off. I kiss his cheek and sit on him grabbing his head to face me.

“That was amazing, Luka,” I said and smiled at him

He stifled a laugh, and I got up to use the restroom and get dressed.

I come back to see him dressed and waiting for me in bed. I climb in and he wraps his arms around me, telling me goodnight as we both drift off into sleep.

#smut #luka couffaine #x reader #smutshot #lukacouffainesmut #miraculous smut #miraculouladybugsmut #miraculous ladybug

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thrasheraxe · 6 months

Note

Ahhh, what a thrill!! 🙈✨

I wanna request a James/Reader story. The reader is biologically female, but is gender fluid but usually likes to be treated like a boy.

The story would be about his first time. It would start out soft and end up rough.

---

Thanks and sorry for my English. 🤧

hetfield x gender fluid reader

weee woo!! thank you for this one!! im not gender fluid myself but ill give it my best go!!🫶

thinking current james and these images because DUHHH

cw: smut, talk of gender identity, virginity, age difference

prompt: genderfluid reader who is an illustrator working at the park one day, when they come across garage owning James, unbeknownst to the reader he was also in a local band

sitting on a park bench watching the world go by and drawing the scenery around you was one of your favourite ways to relax. there was no judgement there, dressed in a baggy hoodie and jeans you had no fear. even if you were masc presenting today its not like strangers would notice or even care, they just thought of you as some guy on the park bench and that made you happy.

coming out as genderfluid had been hard on you, it wasn't easy to find anyone so accepting or even just understanding, so you'd take your comfort elsewhere. it was no small feat and it was even harder to find like minded individuals, you often thought of others like you and wished to make them not feel as alone as you did.

you almost didn't notice the larger man approaching you, headphones in and staring intently at the forest line trying to capture every detail. he pats you on the shoulder lightly, an older gentleman something you weren't expecting. most of the interaction you'd had at this place was from sweet old ladies who would ask for the time.

cigar in hand and a cowboy hat on his head (which was out of place for the city but it worked for him), he stared down at you with his piercing blue eyes and a bright smile while you took out your earphones. a slight confused expression as you spoke softly.

"uhm..hello?"

"oh sorry darl, didn't mean to spook you, i was just strolling past and noticed your drawings, they are very impressive, can i take a look?" his voice was soft and calming. hesitantly you passed him the sketchpad sheets you were working on.

“wow…i mean wow..” he strokes his finger over the linework lightly, just adoring it. his smile is still bright and as you look at him, you realise this man is stunningly beautiful. even this is enough to make you blush.

“this is fantastic, you work as an illustrator?”

“n-no, it’s mainly something i keep to myself, i uh, work in retail.” you cringe at your own words sounding meek and uninteresting.

“well…can you draw anything or are you just into nature?” his tone kind as he looked directly at you. he had no judgement at all.

“uh yeah i mean i can always try can’t i?”

“well, i actually run an autoshop, and ive been looking for something to spruce up the walls a bit, you think you’d be able to design something for me? not for free of course”

you grin at his suggestion, the mere thought alone of someone enjoying your work was insane but now wanting to pay for it? it was some sort of blasphemy in your eyes.

“of course! i could do that. could probably get it done in a few hours”

“amazing, thank you sweetheart, james by the way. if you think you could get something done that quick, why don’t you come by the Luxe downton? my band is actually playing there.”

He had a huge grin on his face and he was clearly proud of himself for that subtle mention. his gaze not leaving your eyes.

“yeah that’d be really fun.” you smile sheepishly and nod. you also pause and tell him your name with a laugh, realising you’d neglected to mention it.

“great see you at eight” still with that grin on his face, he winks and walks off leaving you in awe of this mysterious and handsome individual.

it didn’t take you long to get home and in the fully lit presence of your desk, bubbling with inspiration you sketch up something. it was nice, in a weird way he’d inspired you with his compliment but you kept it simple. this was for a stranger after all, a simple sketch of an old ‘67 chevy impala, carefully shaded in and small subtle details. you sign your name and get ready for the night, time escaping you faster than you’d thought.

as you arrived, hair done and settling with a slightly nicer combination of jeans and a button up, you plop yourself down at the bar looking out for james. it wasn’t until the first notes of an unfamiliar song that you see him on the stage, he gives you a subtle smile and a nod.

you sat there taking in the environment and enjoying the set they played, bopping your head along and nursing a drink. his voice was actually quite spectacular which added to your already slight attraction to this man.

after he had finished, he made his way over to you, beer in hand with a grin.

“hey there sweetheart.”

“hi” you answer nervously, quick to reach for your bag and grab the drawing out of it, meticulously glued to a piece of card and protected by a sleeve as not to damage it. he takes it out of your hand and with one look his eyes widened.

“wow! this is…amazing…thank you so much, darlin’, let me know how I can repay you?”

you smile brightly and shake your head, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks

“no, no. that’s okay! i actually had a lot of fun, it was nice to work on something different for a change.”

“least let me buy you a drink, sweetheart?”

“that’d be really nice, thank you”

for the next few hours you’d spent time drinking together, you both talked about his band, your ambitions, your identity since he was very curious. he asked a lot of questions, respectfully of course and you answered them with grace. his willingness to learn made you feel a bit fuzzy inside as no one had ever treated you that way.

you find yourself getting over your aversion to eye contact, willingly staring into his eyes as he spoke about his hobbies and his musical influences. he notices your stare and grins to himself. taking a mental note, he changes the subject to loved ones and is surprised to hear you’ve never dated anyone. you were young sure, but he didn’t expect you to have no experience atall.

“really? thats…interesting.”

“are you making fun of me?” you say raising your eyebrow and glaring playfully. feeling the buzz from the last few drinks.

“no…no. just something crossed my mind is all. shouldn’t’ve but it did” he says softly, his body language a bit more serious and he looked slightly embarrassed.

you look at the time on your phone, 1 am. you’re feeling buzzed and james is looking very fine, screw it. you move closer and sit next to him, thighs pressed to one another and your face flushed. so what if it was your first time? this man was too beautiful to pass on.

“jealous are we james?”

your sudden confidence and proximity threw him for a loop, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. “pardon?”

“you heard me. jealous? wishing it was your cock buried deep inside me? giving me that wonderful feeling for the first time?”

“fuuck…you don’t waste any time do you?”

“guess i’m just feeling a bit out there and lucky tonight, james.”

the way you kept saying his name made him squirm in his seat, the thought of you sat on his lap, fucking like rabbits and him giving you your first time was overwhelming. when suddenly he stood, held out his hand and not saying anything.

you take it gracefully, grinning to yourself. the reality of the situation not quite kicking in yet as the alcohol made you feel fuzzy. he pulls you to his side, snaking an arm around your waist, chucking some money on the table and walking like a man on a mission.

15 minutes later and a tense taxi drive, where he’d been struggling not to take you right there or even just touch you a little bit, you arrive at a hotel. he rushes you in, holding onto you as if you’d run off if he let go. the silence was deafening.

in the elevator, he just looked down at you with a grin, a gentle hand coming up to lift your chin, his eyes piercing into you once again as he finally spoke.

“you really wanna go through with this?”

“more than anything.”

a moment later his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you deeply, hands nestled at the small of your back. you kiss him back with a little more force, the heat in the room rising. he begins to trail soft kisses down your neck before biting ever so slightly at the crook.

“oh fuck..”

he laughs heartily hearing you curse under your breath and brings a hand to your chin again, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip and tapping at as if he was mimicking something in his own mind.

“you’ve got such pretty lips, know that?”

too distracted by his gaze at your lips, you fail to answer as you bring tour own hands up his sides slipping under his shirt and scratching at his back in need, producing a breathy groan from his own lips. his head tilting back slightly as he felt your nails dig into his flesh.

you take this moment to start kissing his neck, your own body trembling at this point as you’d never really gotten past a small kiss with anyone before. he could definitely tell, by the way your lips moved hesitantly along his neck, awkwardly sucking and biting at random areas. a furious red blush on your face and your brows knotted together in concentration.

he shook his head and laughed, lifting your face away with his hand.

“let me show you sweetheart.”

his lips trailed your neck, finding that sweet spot and at first he just places sweet kisses there, slowly but surely he takes a little bit of skin in between his lips and nibbles, letting you feel each sensation. soft whimpers escaped your lips as he moved, taking this as a sign he bit harder. you let out a moan and grip his shoulders lightly.

“you like that hun? so cute” he purred in your ear. the ding of the elevator pulling you both out of this heated moment. you break apart and stare up at him, the swift transition of him grabbing you and ending up in the hotel room, clothes being tugged at during another heated makeout session makes your head spin

heart racing you look at him with doe eyes. which makes him curse under his breath and compose himself. sitting back on his knees.

“cmere pretty boy, lets take this your pace huh darl?”

you nod, that nervous feeling welling up inside, sitting up you start to unbutton his shirt, trailing your fingers down his exposed chest and placing kisses there. appreciative groans leaving his lips as he caresses your neck with his thumb. need building up inside himself now, he was struggling at how teasingly slow this was moving. if it was any other person, he would’ve just pinned them to the wall and fucked them violently chasing his own high. but even though you were pretty much a stranger to him, he didn’t want you to regret this. you were so sweet looking and nervous.

eventually after extended amounts of strained eye contact and lustful gazes you make your way to his jeans, unbuckling his belt as he stroked through your hair with his big hand. you pull the fabric down and gasp at the way his cock bounces back, hitting his stomach and throbbing, dripping with precum. he takes it his hands and strokes it a few times, thumbing over the tip, collecting the liquid.

he grins and offered his thumb to you.

“wanna taste it darl?”

“yes” you say tentatively taking it and sucking the tip. with a groan he watches you swirl your tongue around it, cursing under his breath.

“fuck can’t take it any longer, i need you baby, that okay?”

you don’t say anything, just start tugging his jeans down completely, you focus on your own and then pull him on top of you, fiercely making out with him, whimpers escaping your lips.

he sits back up and pulls your thighs apart, gently stroking through your folds, his hands glistening with your wetness.

“need it james…please”

he groans at the sounds you make and your desperate words. he doesn’t take a breath before lining up with your entrance, looking at you for approval. you nod and he leans over stroking your cheek sweetly.

“this gonna hurt a little bit okay? just relax for me, you’re doing so good already ,pretty boy.”

before you can react, he pushes just the tip in, letting you adjust as he stares down at you. you hiss in pain and grip his shoulder tightly, a yelp escaping your lips. he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, speaking softly

“it’s okay, i know i know. breathe sweet boy, we can just stay like this a moment, yeah?”

one big hand drifts down to your clit, circling slowly and applying some pressure. your head tips back slightly letting out a strained moan.

“ready, james. just do it…please?”

barely able to control himself, he continues working with one hand, the other gripping your hip as he pushes himself to the hilt.

“fuck!” you moan loudly, with his accompanying groan, he starts to move, slowly and gently holding you. it takes you a minute to get used to the feeling but when you do, your body trembles all over, frantic moans escaping your lips. he strokes your hair and keeps kissing your neck tenderly.

“god you feel so fucking good darl, so good…”

his words send you into overdrive, feeling the need for more, you buck against him. your teeth find its way to his shoulder and you bite down, whispering pleas. his demeanour switches, seemingly not being able to control himself at feeling you clench down on him. so soft and warm, he just starts moving faster, his hips stuttering, watching your face to make sure it’s okay.

“fuck…yes…shit…james…feels so good” your words escaping as whines as you stare up at him. you could see his expression become more desperate as soft moans tumble from him. his grasp getting tighter and he grits his teeth.

“so good for me, god..shit i don’t know if i can hold back anymore. so fucking tight and wet for me, baby. drivin me insane”

you lean up and bite his earlobe before whispering “so don’t. i can handle it.”

it was like something had snapped in him, he heaves your thighs up over his waist and hastily shoving a pillow underneath you. slamming his hips into yours and grabbing your thighs tightly, hard enough to leave bruises for sure. your hands reach up and tug at his white hair, your sounds only growing louder which was like music to his ears. he was out of control, slamming back down on you and pulling out before repeating the process, like it was his own first time too.

“fuck look so good taking me , honey. you like that? getting fucked so hard by this fat old cock? hm? gushing round me baby.”

“yes yes fuck fuck…i can’t” you whine, in a stroke of adrenaline you guide his hand back to your clit, pushing yourself further on him. he gladly continues swirling, his fingers moving at the same pace as his hips. hitting you so deep you could feel it in your stomach.

“gonna cum in you, pretty boy. wanna make you remember this forever, gonna ruin you for anybody else.”

this sends you into primal need, borderline fucking yourself on him as you whimper in his ear.

“fuck yeah, fucking ruin me. fill me. need it so bad james…so fucking close.”

“god you are fucking filthy i love it” he growls, slamming harder into you, his body not being able to hold back. his thrusts become messy as you chase that high together. whispering obscenities to each other and grabbing at wherever you can reach.

the sensation comes faster than you’d ever felt before, like a rollercoaster dropping down a peak, your legs begin to shake and you scream out his name. he takes this as a challenge and moves at an impossible pace, cumming hard inside. growling in your ear and pulling at your hair lightly.

“so fucking good, darl. oh fuck I can’t get enough. no, i think i’ll be seeing more of you. mm ill teach you everything.”

#this was a long one!#i hope its good #i had to take so maby breaks aaaaa #him being so sweet and attentive #interested in your hobbies #god im gay please help me #yes mr hetfield #teaching you everything 🤭#tried my best to give detail!!#age gap is so hot idk #james hetfield #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield x masc reader #james hetfield smut #james hetfield x genderfluid reader #axl’s thoughts #jaymz #need him so bad #metallica

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your-queer-dad · 1 month

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Hey Queer dad, I only just found this blog, but I'm writing you anyway, I Don't want to be anonymous, I want my name attached to my story I fear that I'm probably going to explain myself poorly but here goes anyway I am going to be 24 years old this May, I've been on E since 10 - 2020 Ive had to move out to live with my boyfriend of 3 years and it feels like I've all but abandoned my dreams of going through college as an engineer, things were hard to keep up with when covid struck and now I'm a trans-woman living in Georgia USA, I understand that its not as good as my home-state of New York on trans issues, but I have my BF and his Family who are supportive... I'm SCARED as of late sure I live in a fairly chill part of the state, but i'm SCARED like big time, its making my mental health journey harder, and I'm finding a lot of VERY bad thoughts creeping in, mostly about my appearance and all that, I don't look all that fem when i have trouble taking care of my day-to-day hygiene,

My dad is ""Supportive"" as far as accepting the fact that I'm his daughter now, but he and most of my extended family still doesn't use my pronouns or chosen name. My mom, well she left this world, and me alone in it, sure she was never the best to me, but she would have been the one person to support me. When she left I promised myself and her that I would take the little support I spit on and ground into the dirt as a teenager and actually be true to myself.

I know that at this point I am rambling, but I want to put meaning and journey behind my words THANK YOU, for being here for us. THANK YOU for providing a space for us to ask questions, and get parental style advice when we have no-one else and I ask of you this, how does one find community in this world when one struggles to navigate the fear she feels from the world around her?

Hi!! Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly, it sounds like you've had such a rough time and I am really proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to help out.

Personal story time: I myself was (and still am sometimes) in a very similar situation myself. And it is scary, it's really isolating to see so much hate from others just for being yourself, and it makes you want to withdraw and hide. And I hid, for so long- it's really hard to show your true self in a world so full of hate and fear.

But I did, slowly, step by step. A little bit every day. Us humans, we're not supposed to be on our own. We're pack animals, like wolves or lions, we thrive off other people's company (some more than others). With mental health, when all you want to do is hide and let the world forget that you exist, what helps you the most is finding others who feel like it and can help.

Easier said than done right?

I'm still working on it, and there's never going to be a stage where you're perfect at it- but every day, just actively trying to engage with others around you, I found helped me. Not running away when people offer help, speaking to new people, finding my local queer community- just actively being aware of my surroundings and gently pushing myself to talk to new people.

The worlds a lot less scary when you have an army of support behind you.

It takes time, and energy. It's hard. And definitely baby steps, small steps. But there are so many good people out there, who will love you and accept you and value you, you just have to find them.

I'm really proud of you, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and feel free to reach out anytime. Everything will be okay.

- dad x

#ask a finch!#what a lovely ask #lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #queer positivity #trans joy

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ot7stan4life · 9 months

Text

“Drunk-Dazed”

Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher) x Female Reader

Word Count: 8265

Summary: Being a member in the debut lineup for HFE/Dreamcatcher Company’s new girl group is stressful for a number of reasons, but your increasingly complicated feelings for a certain tall brunette from your senior group rapidly becomes the main one when you’re shoved into a dark room to find her unbuttoning her shirt…

Warnings: angst, cursing, alcohol use, mild sexual content

This story features appearances of idols: Yujin (IVE), Yeji (Itzy), Heejin (ARTMS), & Yves/Sooyoung (formerly LOONA)

"C'mon, unnie," a voice whined, breaking my focus on the lyrics in front of me. "Give it a rest. You've been writing all day." From my peripheral I could see a pout on the brunette's face.

"I have not been writing all day," I countered, putting my pen back over my notebook page in the hopes that a line would magically come out of it. I had admittedly been working for a few hours and managed to write an entire song already. But this one still felt like it was missing something. That last finishing touch. And I couldn't leave until I figured it out. I didn't like splitting my writing sessions up; my songs have to be completed in one sitting, because I feared I'd be in a different mindset when I picked it up again and wouldn't be able to do it justice.

"Right, like eight hours isn't 'all day,'" the younger member mocked and I could practically hear her eye roll from her spot in the doorway. Her words caused me to let go of my pen and turn around in my chair to narrow my eyes at her. "Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little..."

“‘A little,'" I muttered, spinning back around.

She rushed over, sitting on the bed next to the desk and grabbing my knee before I could pick my pen back up. "But I really think you should take a break." I paused to look at her for a moment, trying hard to resist. "You've been working a lot lately, even after practice hours... especially after practice hours." I forced a smile and shook my head, turning to the side to fight back a sarcastic laugh. "I'm serious, unnie," she said, bringing my eyes back to hers, "We're all worried about you."

I blinked as she stared back, completely serious. Had it really gotten that bad? I mean, our debut was nearing, so of course I'd been working harder these days. I often took time out of my breaks to work on writing and producing: perfecting the songs we planned to put on the album. But, that's what everyone does, right? That's what I was expected to do as an idol.

I sighed. Maybe I was going a little overboard. Shaking my head once more, I replied, "I'm sorry, Yujin." Taking a deep breath, I rubbed my hands over my face as I exhaled. "I didn't mean to make you guys worry." My lips turned down when my eyes met hers again. Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve such caring members.

Yujin's warm, brown eyes shined in the lamp light as a smile slowly spread across her lips, exposing her dimples. "It's okay, unnie," she said, and suddenly launched forward, jumping on me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I laughed, still somewhat unused to her physical affection. She really did suit the role of maknae perfectly, always acting clingy and cute towards me like a puppy. "I know you're doing it for us," she whispered, making my chest feel warm.

There was a brief moment of silence where I allowed myself to appreciate the support and love I felt from the young singer on my lap. She probably had a million things on her mind being so young, away from home, and having pressures and expectations put on her that nobody her age should ever have to deal with. Yet, she still chose to prioritize me over all of it. The funny thing is, I was the oldest member, so I should've been the one taking care of her, not the other way around.

"This does mean you're gonna take a break now, right?" Yujin mumbled into my shoulder before backing away.

I laughed. "Yes, that's what it means." She giggled and stood up, pulling me up with her like she thought I might've been lying, still planning to stay planted in that chair for the rest of the night.

"Good, because your girlfriend invited you to a party." A voice from outside the room cut in, directing my eyes to the open doorway. There stood a muscular girl with golden hair pulled back in a half-up half-down hairstyle.

"Who, you?" Yujin replied, raising her eyebrows in disbelief, "Because last time I checked she was my-"

"I don't remember inviting Y/N to a party." Yet another voice interrupted the youngest member, appearing behind the blonde. She nonchalantly popped what I assumed was a peanut in her mouth, making her short, dark red hair flop to one side before she smirked and sent me a wink.

"Sooyoung unnie~" Yujin dragged out, whining at the red-haired member, "you ruined my line." I just stood there with pink cheeks as I watched the all-too-familiar scene play out in front of me.

"Blame Heejin, she's the one who said my name." Sooyoung shrugged, leaning one of her hands near the top of the door frame.

"She said 'Y/N's girlfriend,'" Yujin grumbled, clearly annoyed.

"Exactly," Sooyoung said, sending the maknae a tight-lipped smile.

"Uh, clearly I was referring to myself," Heejin butted in before the youngest member could get a word in. And, just like that, the room erupted into chaos, all three members yelling and arguing over each other.

If you had told me a few years ago that three of my future group members would be fighting over me, I would've laughed in your face, even if they were joking. And, yet, here I stand.

"Guys, guys please," I raised my voice loud enough to be heard over the bickering. Luckily they started to quiet down after getting their last remarks in and sneering at each other. "Enough with the joking-"

"Oh, you think we're joking." Sooyoung deadpanned, then looked me up and down in a way that made me feel weak in the knees.

"So is Y/N coming to Minji's party?" A fourth voice asked, completely oblivious to what just went down (or, maybe just so used to it that she had tuned the bickering out). All eyes landed on the brown and pink haired member like she had just exposed their secret.

"Yeji..." Heejin said disappointedly.

"Wait, I thought you were talking about Yoohyeon," Yujin furrowed her eyebrows.

"I thought you were talking about me." Sooyoung added, feigning cluelessness.

"Be quiet!" The other two members said in unison, only making the red-haired woman smile proudly.

"I was talking about Yoohyeon," Heejin explained. "It's Minji's party, but Yoohyeon's the one who invited us."

It took a moment to process, but once everything clicked, I shouted, "Yah! Yoohyeon's not my girlfriend."

"Right, and Sooyoung's not attracted to women." Heejin muttered, making the maknae bust out laughing.

"Yah, watch it, hypocrite." Sooyoung raised her chin towards the youngest.

"She's the hypocrite." Yujin giggled, pointing at Heejin. "And she's not wrong."

"You're all missing the point here," the blonde took over, turning back towards me, "Y/N is the hypocrite."

"I-"

"Nope. You get no say in this." Heejin pointed a finger at me and then quickly put it down. "We all know you like her."

"Yep," Yujin confirmed.

Sooyoung coughed before muttering, "Simp," then looked around like nothing happened.

Even Yeji was nodding in agreement and I knew, at this point, arguing was useless.

"So, about that party..." I smiled sheepishly.

"Ayyyy," a couple of them yelled and Sooyoung ran over to put her arm around my shoulders and drag me out of the room. Before I could regret my decision, we were all packing into a van on our way to our company building.

When we got to HappyFace, the members of Dreamcatcher had prepared more for their little impromptu party than we had initially anticipated. I honestly thought we'd just be sitting, talking, and maybe eating, but Sua had apparently insisted on making the practice room into a dance floor/party room. We could hear the music blaring the second we stepped out of the van. We all ended up laughing, expecting no less from a group just as chaotic as ours.

Soon after we went inside, the girls split up, going to eat or dance. I ended up staying in the main room, eating snacks and making small talk with Handong. I hadn't seen Yoohyeon yet and I wondered if she even came or decided to stay back in the dorm. I figured, since she invited us, she would at least make an appearance at some point.

My wandering eyes must've given me away, because Dongie suddenly said, "She's in one of the vocal practice rooms."

I played innocent, "What?"

"Yoohyeon," the pink-haired woman explained, "I know that's who you're looking for." The knowing grin on her face sent heat rushing to my cheeks.

"That's not what I-"

"She insisted on staying in there," she continued, ignoring my protests, "I think something's making her nervous," she drew out with a smirk, causing my face to darken a shade. "Maybe you should go talk to her."

"Uh..." I stared dumbly.

"It's okay, I know you want to," Handong smiled what seemed like an actual genuine, comforting smile before shooing me away, "now go."

I sighed, getting up and walking towards the practice rooms reluctantly. I didn't want to admit that Handong was right, but I did want to talk to Yoohyeon. Although, the thought of being in a room with her alone made me nervous. Even just making eye contact was enough to make me completely forget any language known to man, so this encounter was sure to end with me making a fool out of myself.

As I neared the rooms, I heard quiet humming leaving one of them and figured it must be her since the other members were elsewhere and no one would be using these right now. The humming stopped abruptly when I knocked quietly on the door.

"Come in," that voice I had grown addicted to said gently.

I opened the door slowly, seeing that her back was turned to me and her hand was holding a pencil as she wrote in her notebook. The scene reminded me of earlier today and I wondered if she would overwork herself when she got anxious like I did. She was wearing a loose, multicolored flannel, tight, black adidas pants, and her usual converse shoes. Her brown hair was freshly cut into a bob style and time seemed to stop for a second when she looked back at me. I hadn't seen her in person since she changed her hair and suddenly I understood why everyone was talking about it. She was breathtaking.

"Hi?" She smiled shyly, probably not expecting me. I stood there staring at her, still struck by her beauty... so long that she ended up giggling.

"Sorry," I shook my head, looking at the ground and internally cursing myself for the blush I knew was on my cheeks. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I can leave if you-"

"No!" She shouted, making my eyes widen and dart back to her. "I mean, no, it's okay." She looked away, but I noticed her jaw clench. "I was just finishing up anyways."

I nodded with a smile, endeared that she didn't seem to want me to leave. Though, I realized, she couldn't see it, so I replied, "okay."

A few seconds of awkward silence passed between us. We used to be able talk hours on end without ever running out of things to say. But, lately, there was a strange tension between us and it made me wonder what changed. I mean, I know what changed for me... I developed feelings for her. But what changed for her? Or was I just the one making it awkward?

"Did you happen to watch that scary movie I told you about?" I asked randomly, resisting the urge to facepalm for picking that, out of everything, as the topic of conversation.

Yoohyeon laughed, turning her head to meet my eyes again, showing off her smile that always gave me butterflies. "Yeah, I did, actually."

I returned the smile, touched that she cared enough to follow through with my recommendations. "And?"

"It was good," she shrugged, "I liked it."

"I-is that it?"

"Well, you were kinda hyping it up a lot so maybe I was expecting more from it?" Yoohyeon drug the words out like she was asking a question, probably too afraid to outright say she didn't like it because she didn't want to ruin it for me.

"Yah. It was so good though," I argued.

"Was it really good or do you just have a crush on the hot Japanese lesbian character in it?" She blurted out, making my jaw drop. How was I supposed to respond to that? "Mhm, that's what I thought. You totally have a thing for Japanese girls."

"No, I really don't," I defended, but she wasn't even listening.

"What's with that by the way?" She kept going, "It's like you don't even like Korean girls."

I couldn't help but laugh. Ironic that she was the one saying that. "You have no idea." I muttered.

"Oh really?" She perked up. Why did I say that out loud? "So you do like Korean girls?" She asked and then all-too-eagerly gestured for me to come sit next to her. Why was she so interested in this?

I sighed, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants before walking over. "Yeah." I sat down. Yoohyeon stared at me for a second like she was checking to make sure I wasn't lying. The way her eyes were carefully scrutinizing my face started getting to me. I couldn't take when she looked at me like that. "What?" I said shyly, pushing her shoulder so that she'd stop staring.

"What?" She repeated with a laugh. "I can't look at you?" A teasing smile made its way onto her lips. This wasn't a new occurrence. Although, it was normally me intentionally making her panic. Now it was more often the other way around. The more times I noticed I couldn't keep eye contact with her the more I realized that I had a crush on her.

"You know that's not it," I blushed, still looking away.

"Then what?" Yoohyeon giggled, shoving my shoulder back.

"It's just-"

"It's just what?" She leaned forward, wanting me to look at her.

I smiled in my embarrassment. "Nothing. It's stupid anyways." I glanced at her a second to see her watching my expressions closely.

"Well now you have to tell me." She grinned, using the phrase we always used to when one of us wouldn't tell the other something.

I turned my head to her. "It's just..." She was perched on the edge of her seat, so eager for what I had to say. And God, I wanted so badly to tell her. Maybe she was hoping I'd admit my feelings. But how could I know? Maybe I could just go the safe route and compliment her. After what we were talking about earlier, maybe she'd get the hint. "You look..." pretty? No, she hates being called pretty. Beautiful? Is that even any different? I can't just say 'good' and 'handsome' seems a little weird right now. Maybe 'attractive'... no that sounds douchey-

"What, I look ugly?"

"No! No, of course not," I rushed out and we both ended up laughing. "You look beautiful," I said, causing her to stop laughing and look at me.

When she realized I was being serious, she was the one to break eye contact. "Really?" She chuckled, her voice shaky. "I just got out of practice though," she brushed it off. "I think you're lying." She joked. I noticed she tended to do that any time we got serious like this.

"Really? I would've never guessed," I replied honestly. She seriously was completely and utterly clueless about how beautiful she was.

She met my eyes again, timid. "You're just saying that-"

"No, I mean, you look good in anything. Even your practice clothes." Her cheeks turned red and she laughed nervously while punching my shoulder.

"Shut up."

"Yah, I'm being serious." I laughed, pushing her hands away from me. "And I get why everyone likes your new hairstyle." She finally stopped attacking me and looked back at me. We just stared at each other for a moment and, as much as I hoped she realized I was being genuine, the sudden silence made me nervous again. "Really though. You look like a badass Black Widow or something," I finally broke the silence.

"Ooookay." She laughed and stood up. "Marvel nerd." She shoved me for the eightieth time tonight. "That's my cue to leave."

"Noooo," I cried dramatically, "don't leave me, unnie."

"Unnie?" She exclaimed with a laugh. "When have you ever called me that?" Before I could respond, she was walking out the door and turning off the light with me still inside. "That person's weird," she yelled back and I just imagined her pointing her finger back at the door.

Well, guess it's safe to say the compliment route didn't work...

About an hour passed and I hadn't talked to Yoohyeon any more. Some of my younger members had headed back to the dorm to rest and a couple others I had lost track of. Most of the older members started drinking and, with the majority of them being lightweights, let's just say... they were intoxicated. And Dreamcatcher + alcohol did not equal a pleasant mix.

I would find this out sooner rather than later when Sua came out of nowhere and started dragging me down the hall. I didn't have time to ask where she was taking me before she was pushing me through a doorway. The room it led to was dark with nothing but moving colored lights illuminating the surroundings and music blaring, similar to the practice room.

"Alright, we can start now," Sua shouted after closing the door behind me and running to the center of the room where a table was set up. Crowded around the table, I noticed Minji, Siyeon, Yoohyeon, Dami, Sooyoung, and Heejin, along with Sua.

Sooyoung saw me and made her way over, pulling me further in the room. "There you are. We've been waiting for you." Her words came out slow and a little slurred.

"What's going on?" I asked. "And are you drunk?" Just as I tried to scold her for setting a bad example as our leader, Sua's loud voice cut in.

"Alriiiight, ladies," she clapped her hands together once, "first up is... drumroll please..." The girls around me started making drumroll noises with their mouths or tapped on the table with their fingers. It was pretty dark, so it was hard to make out their faces, but they all seemed to be smiling like they were doing something they shouldn't be. Sua tapped on the device in her hand and then smirked. "Yoohyeon!" she said, making the room erupt into cheers.

I looked over just as the tall member put her hands over her face in embarrassment. Clearly she was dreading being picked and I wondered what could be so bad that she didn't want to do. Sua nudged the brunette forward a little towards the table. "The party Gods have chosen you," a slap sounded, making Yoohyeon flinch. From my time around this group, I had a good feeling it came from the dancer spanking Yoohyeon's butt, "start stripping." I nearly choked on my own spit. Stripping?? I knew these girls were wild, but...

Smacking Sooyoung next to me, I gave her a look that showed her how insane I thought this all was. "What did you drag me into?" I whisper-yelled, glad the music was loud enough and the room was dark enough to mask my panic.

"Just watch." She replied, much too calm for my liking.

Calm is the furthest thing away from what I was right now, and it only seemed to drift further and further out of reach as I watched Yoohyeon's shaky hands slowly start unbuttoning her flannel. One by one, from the bottom up, the buttons were let loose by her slim fingers, exposing a few more inches of her tan skin every time. Even with it being dark, the occasional flashing party lights danced across her torso, highlighting how taut the muscles were underneath her smooth skin. She wore only a tight, grey Calvin Klein bra underneath, making all the blood rush to my head.

Ignoring the hollering from her members and mine, she tugged on the sleeves and finally pulled the shirt all the way off. Dami grabbed it from her hands, but I barely even paid attention. I was too focused on her. My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes took in every inch of her skin: her strong neck, exposed collarbones, defined biceps, long torso, tiny waist. I nearly had to stop myself from stepping forward and tracing my fingers over the lines between her abs, it was so tempting. What I would give to just touch-

"You're staring," a low voice whispered to my side. I turned suddenly, growing embarrassed when I realized it was Siyeon who had caught me.

"And blushing," Sooyoung added, to which I responded with another slap on her shoulder.

"Am not," I defended, making Siyeon laugh.

"Wait 'til you see what comes next," the blue-haired vocalist teased, directing my eyes back to the shirtless girl.

My mouth went dry when she climbed onto the table and laid on her back as Sua stood over her. This couldn't possibly be leading anywhere good. Minji came from the other side of the room with a bottle of tequila and a few other items in her hands that I couldn't quite make out. Yep, this definitely wasn’t good.

"While Minji's getting everything ready, let's see who tonight's lucky participant is." Sua tapped on her device once more as the crowd started yelling again.

Yoohyeon looked anxiously around the room and I subconsciously scooted over so that Sooyoung was blocking her view of me. Meanwhile, Dami was helping pour a shot while Minji handed Yoohyeon a lime and started shaking something into her hand over the younger member's torso. When she was satisfied, she turned her hand over onto Yoohyeon's stomach and started spreading the white grains into a line down the middle, from the top of her bellybutton to the white band on her bra. Salt? Or sugar? Everyone else seemed to know what was happening, but I was growing more confused by the second.

"And, the lucky winner is..." the drumming noises picked up again and Sua seemed to drag it out longer this time. Her eyes glanced up from her phone to meet mine and a devilish grin took over her lips. Oh no. "Congratulations Y/NN," she mocked victoriously and somehow I knew from that look on her face that this wouldn't end well for me.

I froze, sure I was hearing things. I didn't even notice how Yoohyeon's cheeks had turned pink or that Sooyoung had walked behind me until I was being shoved towards the table. The girls in the room cheered, but I was hardly focused on them. Sua grabbed my arm, pulling me to the edge of the table and handed me something.

"What do I-"

"Drink this," she instructed, gesturing to the shot glass now in my left hand, "then all you have to do is finish it off with some salt and lime. It's that easy." Her calm voice nearly convinced me, but the hint of mischief in her eyes made me rethink. The laughter coming from the short silver-haired rapper confirmed my suspicions.

There's no way that's all I had to do. Then, my eyes caught sight of the white line trailing down the center of Yoohyeon's abs. Salt. Her hand hesitantly reached up to her mouth to bite down on the fruit Minji had given her. Lime.

Well, fuck.

I looked over at Sua in utter disbelief. All she did was wink and say, "Go get her, tiger." She smacked me on the butt, sending me forward and forcing me to catch myself on either sides of the table next to Yoohyeon's ankles. I was positioned right between her legs, giving me a sickeningly attractive view of her body. Suddenly my head started spinning and my gut twisted. Now I was sure I'd pass out.

I didn't have time for that though when the whole room started chanting, "One-shot! One-shot! One-shot!" Sua had turned her phone flashlight on as an impromptu spotlight, so that everyone could see what was happening. Looking down at the liquor in my hand, I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't be that bad. The alcohol would help, right? Isn't that why they called it liquid courage?

I felt a bead of sweat drip down the back of my neck as I looked back at Yoohyeon. She didn't dare look up at me and it made my fingers numb. What was she thinking? Did she want this? Would it make her uncomfortable? It definitely felt like it was crossing a line. What if it made things weird between us? But, then again, things between us are already weird...

Screw it.

The girls cheered even louder when I put the shot glass to my lips and tilted my head back, downing the entire thing. Not even a second later I started feeling the effects of the liquor. It was like lightning traveling through my veins, electrifying my senses and making my mind go numb. I wasn't at all prepared for the adrenaline rush it would give me and suddenly doing this didn't seem like a bad idea at all. I wanted it, after all.

Jumping up to plant my knees on the table, I nearly toppled over onto the girl now below me before I caught myself. The alcohol certainly wasn't helping with coordination, but it did make me feel a million times more intensely as I looked down at Yoohyeon. The image of her from this angle was so overwhelming that chills ran across my skin. When she finally met my eyes, her own looked nervous and unsure. In that split second, I raised my eyebrow at her in a silent request for consent that I hoped she would understand. When she raised her own back and looked down at her stomach, I swallowed thickly. She was challenging me.

My hand instinctively brushed my hair back as I lowered myself over her body, causing the overdramatic idols surrounding us let out a few pterodactyl screeches. I grabbed her hips over her black athletic pants, noticing how her hands gripped the side of the table in anticipation, and looked down at the trail of salt starting just above her bellybutton, watching as her stomach moved up and down with her lungs. Her heart must've been beating as fast as mine, she was breathing so heavily. The taste of alcohol still stung the back of my throat, begging me to replace it with something different.

Here goes nothing.

I took a massive breath in before placing the tip of my tongue on her skin. I was glad I had chosen to hold her for support because she instinctively bucked her hips at the contact. This reaction went straight to my head and I flattened my tongue on the way up her smooth stomach in the hopes that she'd do it again. The salty taste quickly became too much, but I kept going, not ready to chicken out just yet. And I was thankful I didn't when she inhaled sharply and arched her back off the table, forcing my nose to brush against her skin. My hands had moved higher on her waist to push her back against the table, allowing me to feel the goosebumps I had left in my wake. Once I finally managed to make it all the way to her bra, her muscles tighten underneath me because of what she knew was coming next and I could've swore I heard her whine when I pulled back.

Raising my head to get a look at her, I had to clench my teeth to stop an ungodly sound from leaving my mouth. Her neck was strained as she tilted her head back with her eyes closed and her teeth clenched around the lime slice between her lips for likely the same reason I was forcing mine closed. Or maybe that was wishful thinking and her body language was really alluding to her discomfort. The thought made me embarrassed for being so aroused by what had just happened. How could I be sure that she was enjoying this too?

By now, I had completely blocked out the people around us, only able to hear the blood pounding in my ears. Just being this close to her and feeling her chest rise and fall against mine made me feel like I was burning alive in the best way possible. So when she finally opened her eyes to let me see that they had now turned a shade darker, that fire burned even hotter. Maybe she was enjoying this. Her chin tilted upwards while she stared intensely into my eyes. It seemed obvious she was offering me the lime between her teeth, but something in her stare felt like she was daring me to do more.

I stayed there for a moment, just looking down at her, frozen. The nerves and doubts started to creep back in as I glanced back and forth between her eyes, almost forcing me off that table. Almost. But then Yoohyeon glanced down at my lips and cocked her eyebrow just like I had done earlier. The simple action felt like she was confirming that she was feeling everything I had been feeling and wanted me to keep going.

So, I slowly leaned down, feeling her eyes on me every second. When I reached the lime, my bottom lip brushed against hers, making her inhale through her nose and bite down harder. One of her hands darted to my jaw as I tilted my head to grab the lime from her with my teeth. She let me take it into my own mouth, watching as I bit down into the fruit, licking her own lips. The sour taste topped off my heightened senses, and now, all I wanted to taste was her.

With her bottom lip now caught between her teeth, she moved her hand to take the lime from my mouth. I allowed her to throw it on the ground and licked the rest of the juice from my own lips. Her eyes followed my tongue and stayed on my lips. After a few seconds that felt like hours, she put her hand on the back of my neck to pull me down and there was no doubt in my mind that she was going to kiss me. She didn't even care that other people were looking, it was only me and her ... except, it wasn't.

"Okay, enough fun lovebirds." Sua's voice rudely interrupted, bringing the rapidly escalating moment to a full stop. "Go get a room or something." She shoved me off of Yoohyeon and I would've fallen off the table had Sooyoung not been there to catch me.

I had been so invested in that moment that it felt like sensory overload when my hearing tuned back in to everything around me. Sooyoung held me up straight and shook my shoulders, trying to bring me back down to planet Earth. "Uhm, what the fuck just happened?!" She nearly yelled, pulling me to the side of the room, away from the table.

I looked over my shoulder to see Yoohyeon glancing back at me while Dami put her shirt back on her. The shiny line on her abdomen made me bite the side of my tongue, remembering the taste of salt and the feeling of her warm, soft skin underneath it. "You tell me," I replied, unable to pull my eyes away from the brunette. She was going to kiss me. The pit of my stomach tingled at the thought.

"Dude," Sooyoung turned me so that I was finally looking at her, "you're fucking crazy." I tried to ignore her, the last thing I needed right now was a lecture. Instead I tried looking for Yoohyeon, who, in the split second I had turned away, had vanished. "I don't think they were actually expecting you to do it," Sooyoung admitted.

"What?" I immediately turned back to her, now angry. "You mean they set this up as a... as a joke?"

"No it's-"

"And you let me do it?" I yelled, ripping my arm out of her hold and glaring at her.

"To be fair, I didn't think you would," Sooyoung tried to reason, but it was too late. Now I was overthinking everything. What if she wasn't really trying to kiss me?

"I gotta go," I said and walked to the door, not waiting for a reply.

"Wait, Y/N!" Sooyoung yelled after me, but I was already gone.

Feeling overwhelmed by embarrassment, I rushed through the company halls, hoping to escape this place before anyone could stop me. I was so sure of the fact that I had made Yoohyeon uncomfortable that I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. She was my friend, why would I think that was a good idea? I should've known doing something that foolish would have repercussions. I was just so wrapped up in the idea that she might've actually liked me as much as I liked her. When, in reality, that was probably farthest from the truth.

Now I was sure things between us could never be the same again. How could I ever face her knowing how I made her feel? Maybe it would be best if I tried to avoid her all together. It might be tricky being forced to use the same tiny company building, but maybe I could manage it. I had to.

Ironically, as I paced down the hallway in my trek to the exit, the door to a vocal practice room opened to reveal the very girl I was desperately trying to evade. When she noticed it was me, her gaze was so intense that I felt the need to start spewing apologies as I tried to leave.

"I'm really sorry and I know you probably hate me now, so I'll just go before I make things wo-" She stepped forward and grabbed my arm, yanking me into the practice room with her. I could only assume she was angry when she slammed the door and turned to forcefully shove me back against the wall.

"Yooh-" I tried to apologize again, but suddenly her lips were pressing roughly into mine, catching me completely off guard. There was no time to react when she reached up to hold onto my neck tightly, whether for support or to stop me from pushing her off, I wasn't sure. All air left my lungs at the sensation and the desperation in her kisses convinced me it was the latter. She wanted this. Badly. And she wasn't going to let me be the one to stop her. Not that I wanted to anyways, even with how utterly confused this was making me.

The way her lips relentlessly attacked me, capturing my bottom lip, only to release it, push further into me, tilt her head a little in the other direction, and trade it for my top lip—like she was starved for a taste of me and couldn't get as much as she wanted quick enough—made my brain foggy. The veil of lust overtaking my mind only got worse when I started running out of air and it seemed apparent that Yoohyeon wasn't planning on letting me go anytime soon. I had no idea my earlier actions had managed to stoke the long-burning flame she had inside of her for me and now it engulfed her into a fire too hot to be put out.

As much as I would've gladly continued providing fuel—because the feeling of its irresistible flames now catching fire inside my own chest and spreading throughout my body was torturously addicting—my lungs burned painfully, begging for the oxygen she had stolen from them, and my tongue stung with the bitter taste of alcohol coming from her own lips. These bold actions struck me as uncharacteristic for the usually polite and occasionally shy woman and I started to realize she was likely acting under the influence, her intuition clouded by intoxication. This thought gave me the final ounce of willpower I needed to raise my own hands to her cheeks and push my thumbs against her chin to separate our lips.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a huff as my lungs made a violent effort to refill themselves, hindered by the strain my beating heart had on the amount of air they allowed in.

My eyes were blown wide while hers slowly fluttered open, hooded with lust once they met mine. Our lips were still just centimeters apart and somehow looking at her now had me more panicked than when she was practically on top of me, making out with me. Seeing her features up close and knowing that it really was her who initiated this (and I wasn't in some sort of lucid dream) was almost too much to handle.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Yoohyeon whispered, biting her bottom lip as if to savor the taste I left on it and leaning impossibly further into me so that our noses were touching as she stared into my eyes. It was definitely too much to handle.

Even with just one sentence, I started doubting everything. She's wanted to do this for a long time. Meaning she's thought about it multiple times in the past, but never acted on it. Meaning she might actually like me more than a friend. Except the faint smell of alcohol on her breath still itched at the back of my mind, unwilling to be ignored. People do plenty of things they'd never do sober once intoxicated. It clouds your judgement, blurring the line between what's right and wrong. So, what if it was just the alcohol talking? What if she didn't really mean it? If anything, she was probably just drunk and horny and I happened to be in the right place at the right time, making her feel feelings that weren't actually there before she started drinking.

Yoohyeon seemed to grow impatient as I stood there, frozen in my internal battle, unsure of how to proceed. She didn't need my go-ahead anyways, she was going to decide for the both of us. And that decision manifested itself in her fingers trailing up the length of my neck, weaving themselves into my hair at the base of my skull, and her tongue taking advantage of my parted lips from the gasp her actions had elicited, swiping across my own without warning.

Feeling helpless and mildly pitiful from how much of a mess she had managed to make me within the span of a few seconds, all I could do was blindly reach down to clutch her slim waist for support. Though she seemed to take it to mean something completely different when she hummed and pressed herself against my right thigh. With her legs on either side of mine, I nearly lost balance, forcing me to pull her waist further into me. My thigh consequently put pressure against the spot between her legs, causing her to let out a high-pitched noise into my mouth.

Oh my god.

Was she really this turned on? Had I made her this turned on? No, I couldn't handle the thought. It was too much. Even if everything she said was true and she felt all these things for me, it was wrong to let her go on in this state.

"Wait," I mumbled when she pulled back for a second, but she ignored me, kissing my bottom lip with such force that she might as well have been biting it. At that thought, images of the lime clenched between her teeth from before flashed through my mind and I caught myself wondering what my lip might've felt like there instead.

Her steady rhythm of swiping her tongue into my mouth and finishing by closing her mouth and capturing my lips before pulling away to do the same again was slowly driving me crazy and had my brain picturing scenarios between us much worse than her simply biting my lip. With the way her hands started dragging down over my collarbones on a clear mission to get a feel for what was hiding under my clothes, I knew she was likely imagining the same. I needed to stop her before this got too far out of control.

I took advantage of the fact that her fingers were no longer holding onto anything to use my own to push her shoulders back. Luckily she didn't immediately crash back into me this time since she had finally run out of air completely. We both inhaled and exhaled heavily and her nose found it's way to bump against mine like she still couldn't stand not touching me. I allowed her a second to open her eyes and when I saw them dart back to my mouth, I rushed to put my thumb over her lips. Her gaze flitted back up to my own and, despite my attempt to calm her down, she seemed to like it a little too much.

I moved my thumb down so it was resting on her chin instead and whispered, "we shouldn't be doing this."

Yoohyeon grabbed my hand that was holding her face, wrapping her thumb around my own. "Why not?" She whispered back, raising her eyebrow and sending me a look that I knew was dangerous.

"You're drunk," I answered, my voice a little louder this time. It became clear to me that nearly everything I had been doing and saying she took as me trying to turn her on. But this wasn't some game I was playing. Not anymore.

"I'm not drunk," she stood up straight and, as if on cue, wobbled backwards as she lost her balance. I was able to pull her in by her waist before she could topple over. "Okay, maybe a little," she giggled, making herself comfortable again with her arms wrapping securely around my neck.

I glared back at her as a warning, but the smile brought on by her laughter remained on her face, showing off her dimples. My attempts to make logical decisions continued to dwindle and fail. The more I tried to think everything through, the realer it became. And the realer it became, the more I realized that this might be the only time I'd ever get what I truly wanted. Her. That thought alone was enough to make me give up any attempts of stopping her. Of course, it didn't help that she was also playing the part incredibly well.

In that moment of internal debate, while I was busy convincing myself to stop her, she was busy getting lost in my eyes. "I like you," she admitted so quietly that I almost didn't hear it, making my heart stop all together.

Damn you, Kim Yoohyeon, for being so convincing. For these feelings spilling out of me like a hopeless romantic who can't help but hang onto your every word, even in your drunken state. For stealing my heart and holding it right out in front of me, reminding me who’s really in control of it. And for doing it all so easily, acting like you're totally oblivious to the hold you have on me.

But, then again, maybe you were, and that was the problem.

"You don't really mean that," I stated, practically begging that she'd just agree and drop it right there so I could stop holding onto hope. I was so tired of questioning every single thing she did and said. Couldn't she just bury it for good?

But, no. "I do," she insisted. Like her kisses before, she seemed desperate to prove it to me. It had me wondering for a moment if she was as dependent on me to validate her feelings as I was on her. But I quickly shook the ridiculous thought away.

"No," I sighed, "Yoohyeon-"

"What's that saying?..." she trailed off, ignoring me again, "drunken thoughts are sober words." Her eyebrows furrowed, "wait no. Sober thoughts-"

"The fact that you can't even form a coherent sentence right now is really not helping your case." I tried to sound serious, but I couldn't stop the hint of a smile gracing my lips. One more thing to add to that list: damn you for being such a cute drunk.

The brunette pouted, and her brown eyes shined in the hallway light peeking through the door, making her resemble a puppy dog. Case in point.

"I want to believe you," I told her, no need whatsoever to fake the honesty in my voice, "but you're obviously not in your right mind." I couldn't be sure she was really listening intently like she appeared to be, but I was just glad she had given up on her attempt to quiet me with more kisses (well, not entirely glad, but, you know). "I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

When I was finished, Yoohyeon whined and buried her nose in my neck. "I hate that you're such a good person sometimes." I squeezed her sides, pulling her closer so that her chest was flush against mine. I could feel her heartbeat, just as unstable as mine from earlier.

It was still proving incredibly difficult not to let go of reason completely and allow her to continue doing whatever she wanted to me when she was being like this. So many times in the past we had only joked about anything to do with relationships, always tiptoeing around the dangerous waters of our feelings for each other, but, this was the first rare moment where she was finally bold enough to dive headfirst into them. And, with her next words, she pulled off her last final trick to drag me down under the surface with her.

"Cause all I can think about is you on top of me on that table and the way your tongue felt against my skin," she whispered in my ear as her lips teasingly brushed across the sensitive skin just beneath my jawline.

Oh my god, I thought, except this time it left my mouth and had Yoohyeon giggling before her lips began claiming their territory on my neck. Though, it was less a cute giggle and more an evil one, like she enjoyed saying such explicit things because of the reactions she could get out of me. So much for being a cute drunk.

The sensation of her plump, velvety lips sucking down on my skin was slowly overriding all the thoughts in my mind. "I really need to take you home," I said, more to remind myself than to tell her. She hummed and I felt her smile against my neck. "Not like that," I tried to explain, but it was obvious she wasn't really listening. "Hey," pulling her away from me, I tilted her chin up so that we stood face to face once again. She gulped, looking up at me like she was completely innocent. "You're probably not even gonna remember this," I said under my breath and shook my head.

Still, I took a deep breath and looked back at her. "I like you, too, okay? And, God," I leaned into her, resisting the urge to feel her intoxicating lips against mine just one last time, "I want this more than you could possibly know." The obvious desperation in my tone made Yoohyeon smile proudly. "But I don't want this to just be a drunken mistake that you regret in the morning." Her lips turned down into a frown at that.

Really, knowing her regretting this was a distinct possibility hurt. A lot. And now I was thinking maybe it would be better off if she did forget this whole thing ever happened. "So you're gonna let me take you home, and if you still feel the same way in the morning, then maybe we can talk." For once, I could finally tell the sentimental look in her eyes was genuine and not another one of her deceiving tricks. "Deal?"

Yoohyeon pressed her lips together. "Deal.”

A/N: I might write a continuation to this. Haven’t decided anything yet. Lmk what you think :)

**This imagine was converted over from my Wattpad account @ OT5Stan4Life**

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