a/n: yeah so i don’t know what this is to be honest ????? ive been writing something else but its taking me longer than id like because i want it to be decent/special for you guys to read ? and honestly i just thought of this on the spot just to at least fill the space that i have left you all lol but yeeh this is just some very very short random thoughts (based on 1 idea each) because i was feeling like a soft pile of mush - but uhmm have this for the small meantime pls :)))
warnings: some suggested content ? but no full on smut this time :)
amado: (soft mornings?)
mi primer amor,,, i cant help but want to be soft for him on this fine day because there’s just something so soft and full of love it makes my heart hurt when i think about these slow and soft mornings with him,, where you both are still asleep,, limbs tangled with one another ,, as he just has you sleeping on his chest :( him being the first one to wake up (he loves being the first one up just for this specific part in the morning :(( ) and just being able to just relish in the fact he has you here with him,, you sleeping on his chest wearing one of his shirts, with the most relaxed dream state look on your face,, one of your legs propped up around his torso,,, and his own arm having been resting on your lower back to keep you in place and he swears right there in this moment there is no place better to ever be than here,, contigo,, in your shared bed,, with his reina :( in the mornings :( as he just stares down at you feeling so content because this is what he strives to achieve - to want- everyday para siempre,, he doesnt ever want these few minutes to pass, quiere estar alli for how ever long he can get and he damn well wants this enternity so much he’s already starting to plan things out to leave behind just so he can so much more mornings and entire days filled for these kinds of moments :(( and wow :(((( i just want to say furthermore,,, i feel like he would not move,, not a single muscle away from you during these times in the mornings,, your warmth just makes it too hard for him to move away,, and the way he just adores your entire form is what ties it all together for him,, he could easily spend hours upon hours just admiring you during those moments and he finds that itch he craves for during the mornings when youre still in a deep sleep just to have his eyes wander everywhere on your face :( doesnt matter if your hair is sticking out everywhere or if youre softly snoring,, this mf loves it all :(( goodbye im so soft for him right now
benjamin:
ayy dios mio,,, i swear dina’s wedding in s3 gave me so much to work with here on these hcs/blurbs because i am being my usual soft fuvking self and i just literally let out a quiet sob at the thought of him :(((( reminiscing his own wedding with you :(((( at dinas wedding :(((( like ay no i can just imagine when he sees the way enedina looks at claudio and him at her at the altar,,, the way this mf would get so soft and happy as he sneaks a glance at you ??? his esposa a su lado de el ???? omg someone pls hold me because the way he would start to have that mirada in his eyes like you just hung the fuvking stars for him gets me to melt on the spot,, and him with his tiny little smile as he blindly searches with one of his hands to hold yours :(((( the two of you giving eachother loving smiles when you turn to look at him as soon as you feel his hand :( because the connection you both would have is there, right at this moment beating and ugHH i cant because the two of you finding it near damn impossible to try and focus back on the wedding happening in front of you because you two just happen to get caught up in this tiny moment :((( him not letting your hand go since hes already threading your fingers together,, the skin on his hand feeling the coldness of the ring that rests on your finger that brings him the warmth in his heart :((( i cant do this im sorry but i just :( i have to mention before i finish up benjamins little blurb here but the thought :( of him not wiping that look off of his face at the reception later on :(( like him all throughout the night repeating “te amo” every chance he gets just because he feels like it :( and even though its not a rare occurrence for you to see him like this,, all enamorado como niño a la primera vez ,, he still seems to be more touchy and with the light in his eyes as he looks at you intensifying everytime his eyes land on you makes you about to question him que, que tiene when youre dancing with him :(( but then he just beats you to it when he looks back you, his arm around your waist as he leads you around like “te recuerdas cuando nos casamos tu y yo mi amor?” all with this soft look in his eyes,, literally giving you the biggest hearteyes possible as he smiles at you when he goes “ese fue el mejor dia de mi vida” all soft as you feel him hold you closer if its even possible as he just squeezes your hand,, waltzing around with you on the dancefloor,, the two of you exchanging lovesick smiles and miraditas as you answer him and reminisce it all :( im sorry i -
mayo:
i cry just picturing him so sorry but anyways him being that whipped mf that just loves putting up going to parties just to see you all dressed up :( like :( i lowkey sob to the thought of him kind of like sulking because he has to get dressed up and put up with other people he doesnt exactly want to converse with,, so he’s just over here,, making sure he looks presentable enough but being more quiet than usual,,, him most of the time just looking up and watching you get dressed/get ready,, his gaze softening just by watching you move about :(( god im so sorry but i love the idea of him helping you zip up the back of your dress or help you put your shoes on because i know his ass would just to get the dread he’s feeling out of his system by helping you or just by watching you and him pausing all of his movements and you know that:(( so just,,,, you getting up and walking over to him,, him giving you this soft smile as he just brings you closer his hands resting on your hips,, his thumb softly rubbing smooth circles into you :(( you bringing your hands up in between you both to adjust the collar of his shirt and straighten out the top of his jacket,,, him fuvking staring down at you with these glazed eyes like he’s in his own world with just you and him :(( you just lightly going “sabes mi amor, no tenemos que ir si no quieres, nos podemos quedar aqui en la casa” your hands coming to rest in between the space where his neck meets his shoulders :(( and oh my god,,, him just shaking his head,, giving you a smile that reaches his eyes,, him leaning into your touch, one of his hands coming to hold you by your lower back, his finger playing with the fabric of your dress and just going “no, esta bien, contigo a mi lado, puedo aguantar cualquier cosa en este mundo mi reina” him :( leaning down to kiss you softly :(( the both of you intertwining your hands together and you pulling away first giving him a smile “listo?” and uGh i cant him brining your hand up to kiss it again like “ey” letting you tug him along as his gaze lingers on you :((( ay no güey
ramon:
god- i was reminiscing that wedding hc again that i wrote for him a while back because hermoso cariño randomly came on from my playlist as i was writing the rest of the guys and i had flashbacks,, and i just have to talk about the early morning after the wedding- like post everything,, thats what came to me just now but :( just a little idea that i had popped into my brain just now,,, because when you’re both at your honeymoon destination:( and it’s so early in the morning that the sun is just JUST barely peeking over but it’s still not too out that it illumainates the sky for the mornings so you’re no where near waking up,, because youre still curled into his chest :( your breathing still coming out in even strokes its so obvious youre still in your deep sleep,, and you just having that post fucking sex look you have that he just adores everytime on you,,, small bruises that are scattered across your body on your skin that are just starting to appear,,, peeking out from the thin sheets that don’t cover your entire body from being tangled between the two of you,, but him just letting his eyes admire the marks that come from him leaving them behind on you from both of your activities not even hours ago, when he had you panting his name out as he repeatedly pushed into you,, but now even in his still fogged sleep state,, his eyes come to rest on your left hand,,, your left hand that resting atop of chest,, the same one he held hours ago as he helped you come down from the high he gave you,,, the moonlight thats still fighting its way to stay out illuminating a soft flash in his eyes that reminds him,,, your his esposa,, you carry his last name now and he cant help but let out a small smile grace his features as he pulls you tighter against him,,, the feeling of a cold metal that hangs around your neck pressing into him not bothering him at all,, :( especially when he remembers what it is,,, one of his first wedding gifts to you :(( as your husband :( a necklace :( with his initial hanging from around your neck :( just giving him the feeling of being whole just from the sheer fact that not only do you have his last name,, his entire heart,,, but now a piece of him that you would start to wear from now on just making him feel content ,, theres no better place than to be here with you :(( and i cant bye :(
güero:
WOW YEAH HUH?? ?? surprise yall,,, you know how long it’s been since ive written a word on mi güerito?? ……… july - from the last YEAR and i almost broke down because how could i forget mi güero- the man who is the biggest simp from this whole group of men go ahead and try to contradict my statement it won’t change me ,,, but to begin this thing,,, i was frantically going through my mind like ??? what is something i can talk about for mi hector? mi pinshe güero precioso ?? and :( uGH i dont know i started to ramble in my thoughts and i was quickly noting shit down because i feel it in my bones,, deep in my heart,, this mans love language feels like he would starve for touch,,, he craves it all the time and he feels like he’s absolutely losing it inside of him when he feels you lay a hand on him gently or even graze your hand near him im sorry im just going with the flow here because you cant sit there and tell me you dont ?? feel some type of way ??? when i say i imagine him becoming so damn weak in the knees con una simple toque from you,, it has him just on the verge of him giving you the world :(( like you could move his hair para accomodarlo or just make it a little messy after he has it styled a little too well just because maybe you think the little strand of hair out of place is a better look for him and it just has this mf simply giving you the softest look and admentmindedly moving one of his hands down to your other hand thats not occupied to hold it :( running his thumb across your knuckles and letting his lovesick smile cross his face as he just gazes upon you :(( definitely bringing your hand up to kiss it after your done with your work because why not ? :((( or something else that crossed my mind is how your hand could simply graze him because maybe your setting something down in front of him,, or you just happen to walk next to him and accidentally brush against him would have this man just automatically try to hold your hand to bring you closer :( because your touch is just so comforting and he has this sense of everything is going to be alright- or that everything is alright just because he has you right next to him,, the warmth of your hand being just so similar to the feeling you give him in his heart and i cant :( he is just the softest man here and i love him dearly
miguel angel:
:((( ooHH this whole thing i thought for him?? i just have to credit to all those scenes in this show where hes seen strESSING that it causes him emotional and physical pain- im sorry hes always at his most vulnerable in those parts and uGh i just have to say my brain loves to imagine him during one of those times for this idea for him,,, like its just one of those days where everyone has been on his ass either for a rise in their plazas,, the desmadre and lowkey rivalty fights between plazas,, money and drug flow between all of them and just everything feeling like it’s slipping through his fingers and adding this more pressuring weight on his shoulders he just cant handle the stress and how everyone is just expecting him to do milagros in that very second it’s has him on the very edge of losing it right then and there ,, and ohH especially once he hears the door to his office creek open he thinks he very much might lose all thinning patience because its probably one of the guys coming to bother him :) but then :) as soon as the glare in his eyes comes in as he looks up :) it disappears in that very millisecond :) once he sees you :) en toda tu gloria softly smiling at him :) and he just feels in that instant everything gradually diminishing thats bothering him because youre here walking up to him and just placing a soft kiss on his lips that he forgets in that very second why hes frustrated :( and im just sorry right now because i just love to imagine/picture the way he just loves being able to lay back in your arms,, like you sitting down on the couch in his office,, him coming over and just letting his upper part of his body fall back into your lap,, his legs dangling over the other part of the couch just so he can feel your fingers running through his hair,, messing up his peinado but he could literally care less because your soft touch makes him feel so much better its the most comforting thing ever to him in that moment because he would be leaning into your hands wordlessly asking you to keep going as he shuts his eyes,, and in these types of moments he feels so at ease he can literally choose to stay silent and let it all out in deep breathes with the feeling or your hands in his hair :(((( or him feeling like hes able to just talk out all of his problems and everything going on around his business out loud to you with no consequence because the simple fact that youre sitting there with him,, your touch making him feel so good, silently listening to him and just- hearing him out not as a business partner that could blow up on him for the shit hes pulling but as his partner- as his other half- his mujer that always takes his side and hears him out when he needs it the most it makes him feel so much better and like the weight hes carrying around,, just diminishing in that very moment with you :( i- wow
kitty:
alright listen here,,,, before we actually begin i want to say this turned out to be like a little blurb but also with a taste of this small brainstorm i had with myself when writing this and i just wanted to let you guys know before you attack me for this or begin to read but anyways i was recently going through a trip down memory lane with mana and this whole little idea blurb def DEFINITELY came from listening to oye mi amor iykyk ;) but idk i was just randomly listening to it and i was just questionining myself someone from this dumb show gives off energy with this song/lyrics and thats where i imagined kitty :) and it’s something just so poetic to imagine him and you having been best friends that would be so inseparable,,, that so many of the other juniors would have for sure without a doubt seen the two of you becoming something more,, something great and full of happiness only for all of that to deteriorate in the most fastest whirlwind possible,, just for the heartstrings to pull,,, because it almost ALMOST did happen,:)) that the two of you almost became lovers and all that shit breaks my heart because :( it was on the verge of happening :( the stolen glances you both would give eachother everytime you were together,,, the outspoken bond you both carried it made the two of you have this downright power couple vibe going on ,,,, especially with his crazy ass that would get you to match his whole vibe and uGH im telling you ,,, everyone that knows you two had to have bet something about how this connection you both have would turn to be this iconic/power couple match ya feel?? it was just mere moments- no seconds- for one of you to make the move first,, because no one could even be a better match for either of you,, this whole relationship with you and him was meant to be,, like a soulmates (i think) type of shit you know? and wow i just i cant because my heart feels like it’s going to shatter at the thought of you :( being with someone else :( suddenly?? out of the blue ,,,, someone who clearly doenst match you and shoots you down :((( un tipo frio y aburrido just like the song says :((( and UGH i cannot because its just the thought of kitty becoming so frustrated and down all the time because he invites you to come hang out with him or with the rest of the juniors but you always saying you can’t because the bum youre with doesnt want you to go or something dumb like that and omG :((( i just know it might be him that decides to make you open your eyes because maybe he just gets so fed up with how this other guy treats you and doesn’t care about you like kitty would or maybe it’s the encouragement of some of the guys that gets him to get off his ass and actually fight for you :( but i just idk i kind of just like this idea in general ???? but thats about where i got with it and its just been sitting in my ideas and i wanted to express something about it ? because the whole slow pinning where neither of you want to say what you actually feel in fear of that your relationship could deteriorate,, to the angst of a feeling in my deep soul that youre taken all of a sudden?? And the anger pinche loco de kitty would feel about the whole situation feeds me where i need it most,, to just the build up/eventually burst/barf of feelings that you both would spill because two idiots in love is such a fuvking thing i love to imagine I’m sorry, but thank you for coming to my therapy session
tag list: @coaxium-captain-rex @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @wtfisgoingonlol @boomclapxox @carlislecullenisadilf @ashlingiswriting
miguel angel tag: @all-tings-diego @xbeyondthegatex
amado tag: @mylovepedro
arellano tag: @tinylittleobsessions @curaheed @yourlocalspacewitxch
benjamin tag: @criatividad-e
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💕Dreaming Of You 💕Part IV.
The flashing red and blue lights, the loud noises and the uncomfortable darkness, where you couldn’t see properly and you couldn’t speak or move. When you regained your conscious you were laying on the hospital bed. The bed was framed with white curtains. Memories flashing back in your mind, like a never ending story, all over again, about your attacker, you tried to memorize the shape of her face but you forgot everything when you felt down from the stairs. What happened then? You don’t remember anyting, you looked down on your arms, both of them were covered with white gauze, then you felt a sharp pain in your head, you furrowed your eyebrows. “Was it serious?” - you wondered, when a picture of your bood clovered hands crossed your mind.
- Miss Y/N, are you awake now? - a doctor came in through the curtains. He held your hospital card.
- You injured your head badly, but thankfully you had a light concussion. How do you feel yourself? We should keep you in the hospital, till the remaining medical examinations.
- Ah, I see... What about the attacker? Where is she? - you asked, because it was the only thing that mattered.
- I don’t know nothing about this miss. The police will arrive soon, shall I call them that you are awake? - you nodded.
- Also, you have some visitors. - your eyes widened:
- Visitors? - you repeated. Before the doctor could reply, Jisung pulled apart the courtains and dramatically pulled you in his arms, he was still sobbing:
- Y/N I’m so sorry about what happened! This is all, our fault!!!
- Ouch, Han.... This is hurting me right now! - you said and gently pushed him away:
- I will take you on a date, when you are released from the hospital, okay? We will eat ice cream and go to the riverside!! Lee Know can join us as well, if he is behave until then!
- Don’t count me in! I have to spend some quality time with my cats as well! You can come over Y/N if you want, my cats are can’t wait to meet with you! - you were blinking rapidly, try to process how kind they were actually with you.
- Stop it guys, just let her rest a little bit. The police is after the attacker. - Chan spoke up and suddenly the room became quiet again, then you realized Felix and Hyunjin wasn’t there.
- This is a relief Chris. Still.... I’m confused, I try to remember her appareance but I forgot everything. One thing for sure, she is obsessed with Felix... Maybe I really spent too much time with him!
- He is your best friend, you shouldn’t blame yourself! - you glanced at Changbin with thankful smile:
- Yes, I guess you are right.
- To be honest, it was shocking, we even heard about you in the news as well! - Seungmin added.
- You all came here... I’m so happy.
- We couldn’t reach Felix tho, he is acting strange lately...
- Seungmin is right, he is hidding something... At first, Hyunjin said that maybe you two are dating but c’mon Y/N you have a better taste than that! - uhh sorry Changbin, you knew it as well that you chossed the wrong person, now it’s just became even clearer for you. To be honest, it’s still hurt you a little bit, he was with Mia for sure if he is not picking up his phone.
- Noona!!!! - Jeongin came in, like a tornado, with a bouqet of flowers in his hand, his eyes were red from crying. He kneeled down beside your bed, like a knight in a shining armour. The others tried not to laugh at loud at his actions, the nurses were also whispering about how cute is him:
- Woah, you really bought this I.N, how generous... You are just like a real little brother! - at your words, everyone started laughing, except Jeongin:
- Noona, am I just a kid to you, right? Even after I saved you... - then, you suddenly remembered, the moment when you dialed his number:
- Jeongin, don’t create fairytales! Hyunjin went into the building to save Y/N, you were crying outside!
- Y/N!! - he looked at you with sadness in his eyes:
- Don’t believe him! Changbin Hyung is just jealous! - you really felt loved, when you were with them. But is it going to be same, when your friendship with Felix is so fragile? Speaking of the devil, he showed up out of the blue and for a moment you smile of hope spread across your lips, but when you saw he wasn’t alone the words are got caught up in your throat.
Mia.... He was with her, without any excuses, without any denial. She was just like, how you imagined her. The beautiful raven hair, cute rosey lips and delicate pale skin, like a real life porcelain doll, perfect in every detail. Tall and skinny, and there you are, wounded and covered with bandages. It was the last drop in the glass, because it really hit you, why you were in your current situation:
- Felix and Mia? Why she is here with you? - Chan asked it first, with confusion in his voice.
- Later, I will explain everything to you guys. Now, please let us be privately... Just the three of us. - they didn’t understand why it’s necessary for them to left your hospital room and the whole scene was more strange, thanks to the presence of Mia. How he is related to you?
When they left, awkward silence engulfed the whole place, Mia called you in a shy voice, while she reahed out to your hand:
- Thanks Y/N for protecting us. You are an amazing person, you sacrificied yourself for our happiness! - this girl is truly crazy? Maybe it’s better is she is not speaking and then she seems more clever. What are you a freaking punching bag? It’s really sounded like that.
- She is right, thinking about how awful it can be, when the one that you love is in danger... The possibility that Mia will be in the same place as you was high, but thanks to that misunderstanding, we are safe from the people’s suspecting eyes. However my heart is aching for you dear Y/N. - Felix sounded like an idiot as well, what’s happening? Are you still in a coma? You hoped you are.
- We wanted to make it offical, that we are dating, but maybe it’s way too dangerous now. After the sasaeng incident, it wouldn’t be a good idea.
- Guys.... - you finally interrupted them, it’s time to speak up and protect yourself:
- You two just really thanked me this?! I mean, I’ve got into this messed up thing because of your relationship drama Felix! And now you are thanking me? - you couldn’t believe it, all these years spent with adoration. You thought he is the love of your life and now you have to realize that he is selfish and the only thing he is care about is his girlfiend and her safety? When you are laying here, like a rock, with an aching wound on your head?
- What if she hurts me more Felix?! What is she cuts my face with her knife?! You would be happy because it’s not happened with your girlfriend?! - at this point, tears were streaming down on your cheeks. But you just couldn’t care about it. Wasn’t that pathetic enough? This is the end of it:
- It’s not what I meant Y/N! Of course I’m worried about you as well! I just...
- No! - you shouted.
- Just stop it and get out! Get out with your perfect face, with your perfect life, with your perfect idol girlfiend! Just get out from my life.... Forever....
- Y/N.... - Felix was lost in his words, you never acted like that before.
- Are you serious? - he asked in disbelief.
- I’ve never been more serious. I don’t want to see you again. - you said and it’s really sounded harsh, you wiped your eyes.
- Y/N, don’t do this please... It’s not what I meant about it!
- It’s absolutely sounded like that! And you know what? I don’t care what you meant by this, you are too blind to see my real feelings anyway. If you only know how does it feel like, but you won’t because you are living under a buble, where everyone is just so fucking pretty! Now, please get out.... - Mia was shocked, like you could read her mind, she thinks that you hit your head too hard and now you gone nuts. Felix, maybe he is blaming your head injury as well, but he will see that you were dead serious. He just stood up from your bed and walked out, without a word and then, you just nodded, this is the answer that you’ve been waiting for, you had to do this. It was the right thing to do.
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The first week felt like an enternity after what happened between you and Felix. You missed his messages, you missed his voice, you missed him so bad it’s almost drove you crazy, but your prides was stronger this time. It was easy to get yourself busy with the tasks, you wanted to find a new rent as soon as possible and move out from the old one. You couldn’t live there after what happened with you? But the problem is, that since you stopped working in a shift, because of all the university tasks, you had absolutely no money at all...
To be honest, you were a true introvert, living under the same roof with a room mate sounded impossible for your taste but after a while, you decided to make a change in your life. From now on, you will do everything to change your personality and born anew, like a real confident femme fatale. It wasn’t easy you had to take small steps, but maybe the first one should be a little bit more risky. That’s why you changed your plan and soon you found a girl, who was searching for a room mate.
Because of the excitment that you felt, towards to the moving you weren’t thinking about Felix and Mia, nor the other members of Stray Kids. After, you cut every contact with him, it would be uncomfortable to keep in touch with the others. Also, you unfollowed every stz related page on your insta, because it was too painful to see how Felix looked more and more handsome with each passing day. You just needed time to clear your head, also you promised to yourself to make more friends at the uni and also move out more frequently.
After one week, you were busy preparing for the exams, also you went out shopping to buy some new clothes for spring. Maybe, you spent too much money on clothes, even tho you couldn’t afford them at that moment. Still, you wanted to look little bit more stylish, you also made an appointment to a hair salon, a little change never hurt, after a mental breakdown. You also called the girl, who was searching for a housemate and asked her for a meeting.
It was one day, before your last exam, at February when you met with her. She was truly unique to be honest! She came here from America as an exchange student, her name was Lexy and she was really cheerfull and lively. The complete opposite of you. A confident, super blonde and super pretty girl, who knew exactly how beautiful she was. Inspite of this she was still friendly and humble with you:
- Y/N I can’t wait to live with you! You know, my previous housemate, was my boyfriend but he dumbed me so I threw out his stuffs! That’s why, you can decorate his old room in your stlye! I will help buy everything! - you chuckled at her words:
- To be honest, I’m so happy that I found you on the real estate page! Really, I hope we will get along well!
- I already like you Y/N! You seems so kind and adorable! When do you want to move in with me?
- This weekend would be too soon?
- No! Please do as you feel like it! - you nodded, you wanted to leave that place quickly it’s always reminded you of the saseang’s attack, also of Felix. It was torturing.
A new chapter begun in your story, you were sure about that when you met with your new housemate. It was on Friday, when you packed all of your things in a cardboard box. You didn’t have much to carry, since you only brought the most essentials to Seoul, when you left your hometown.
You already got a key to the apartment, since Lexy had lectures till the afternoon and your day was absolutely free. When you entered the flat, a small living room greeted you, the walls are painted pastel pink, also all of the furnitures were pinkish and white, on the couch there were fluffy pillows and blankets. It was cozy, more cozy, than you imagined beforehead. From the living room, two door opened, one of the doors was decorated with colorful butterflies. It was Lexy’s room behind it and infront of that, yours was waiting for you to enter..
“Y/N finally, you started something, so do not freak out! It will be better from now on... The attacker won’t find you there, not even Felix, you are safe!” - you took a deep breath and opened the door. The room was almost empty, only a bed stood there and a cabinet, also a little writing desk. You started to organize your things and put your clothes on the cabinet’s shelf. Also, you played some music during the settling so you spent your first day in your new home comfortably, without any troubling or useless speculation.
Around 7pm Lexy arrived as well, you were in the kitchen making noodles when she embraced you from the back. You almost dropped the chopsticks from your hand, it’s really startled you:
- Congratulation Y/N for moving in!!! We should celebrate this! The night is young, let’s go out! - your stomach tightened at her idea. You were never the “going out” type of girl, you rather stayed at your quite home while all of your classmates went out for parties.
- I’m not sure Lexy... I’ve never... - you wanted to make an excuse, but why? You really need to change yourself darn it! You have to make another big step, but maybe it was too early for you to take such a huge one. Then, when you found an acceptable answer for why you don’t want to go out tonight, you hear your phone buzzing, you looked than and saw Felix’s name. You only read the first part of his message, which started with the greatest line of mystification: I have to apologize Y/N... - as quikly as you could you deleted the message from your screen and glanced back to Lexy:
- I changed my mind, I put on some makeup and let’s go out!
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Well, that’s how you got into the first party of your life. It was an intense experience, since clubs are not made for you, the loud music, which makes your ears bleed and the place was so crowded you almost fainted. At least, you looked good: you wore a tight black dress, with a deep, red velvet jacket and you put on a lipstick with the exact same color. Also for the first time, boys compliment you but it’s mabye doesn’t count because they were incredibly drunk.
You sat down with your housmate at a more peaceful corner, she asked you to dance with her, but you had your limits when you were sober:
- Then, let’s drink something! - she giggled and left you alone at the table, You sighed, the air felt too hot in this place, also the waltzing, flashing lights made you dizzy, even without drinking sip.
- Here you are!! - Lexy brought two bottle of soju and poured you out one shout. You have never tasted soju, regardless of the fact that you came here, four months ago.
- How does it taste? - you asked, but Lexy didn’t hear it, the music was too loud, she just waved and said:
- It’s not that strong! - you rapidly emptied your glass. Woah, it was horrible! Your throat felt sore but Lexy already placed another shot infront of you:
- Let’s drink till you have guts for dancing. - not for the dancing part, you just wanted to forget so you drank the second, and the third, and also the fourth as well. You placed your elbows on the table, trying to compose yourself, your vision was spinning at this point, you couldn’t think straight, you just wanted to check the message, what Felix sent to you. Lexy disappeared on the dance floor, and you felt sick sitting like that, beside the table so you slowly stood up and made your way to the rooftop.
The scenery was breathtaking on this clear, and cold night, and every breath, you took felt amazing outside. You searched for your phone inside the jacket’s pocket, when you realized that you are not alone. Someone was standing there, nearly on the end of the rooftop. You approached this person, you weren’t sure why, maybe your almost drunk self wanted a little company?
- Excuse me... - you mumbled and when he turned around, you swore your soul almost left your body! It was Hwang Hyunjin! Why, out of all people all around the world, why he was the one standing infront you? The fate played a dirty and a really unfair game with you. You covered your face.
“Should I run?”
- Y/N?! - he blurted out loudly after he removed his airpods. He was as suprised as you:
- Why are you here?! - you asked.
- The same goes for you! Are you followed me here?!
- In your dreams, I would never follow you anywhere! - you answered.
- I came here, with my housemate.
- You moved out? - oh no, mabye it wasn’t a good idea to put it like that.
- Yes... Do you want to tell my adress to a sasaeng again? - okay, you started to be a little bit harsh with him, but he deserved it. However, this time, he seemed a little bit different than his usual self. His face looked tired and somehow... sad?
- I didn’t know your adress, how could I tell to anyone then? - awkward silence:
- Look, I’m sorry for what happened. Okay? Let’s just forget about it please.
- Hyunjin... - you were mean to him just a moment ago but now you remembered: when you woke up in the hospital, Changbin said that he was the one who rushed into the building for you and called the emergency.
- I was stupid to brought this topic up... - he looked at you, his beatiful face still reflected pain and sorrow:
- How come you told Felix to never meet again? You did this....because of... Mia? - he mentioned her name in such a trembling tone. Your heart started to beat faster:
- You were in love with him...I heard it in the hospital, to be honest I came there as well but I didn’t have any courage to go inside. I felt myself quilty, and I still do. It’s true that you are annoying with your shy and pathetic self pity attitude but I never wished this pain for you. - he knows about everything and you couldn’t deny it anymore. After all these years, it’s finally happened, someone knows about your secret now!!
- He didn’t even realize it! - you said, while big teardrops started to roll down on your cheeks.
- Felix told us that evening, that he is dating with Mia and asked everyone to keep his secret safe. We made a promise to him. - you gulped and you wiped your tears away with your sleevs:
- I hope he will be happy with her... I should have told him about my feelings, now it’s to late, I lost him forever... - you admitted, still crying like a little girl, maybe the alcohol mixed with your feelings was more torturing than being sober.
- I know how you feel. - Hyunjin said:
- I feel the same way... I should have told her. - with that, it’s became clear to you why he was standing there alone in the dark, without all the noise and flashing lights, he came here to forget as well...
- When I was a trainee. Mia was there too. She helped me with my dancing skills. I was too shy to tell her! I thought it’s obvious, and she will notice that I care about her and I cherish her! Just look at me Y/N! I’m damn gorgeus! - you almost laughed but you managed to keep it to yourself.
- I mean, she could have me as well! Am I not good enough? Still, she choosed Felix... - fearing that he will be mad about it, you carefully reached out and place your hand on his shoulder:
- Maybe, I’m not that gorgeus as you, but I truly cared about him and I was always by his side, when he needed me. But, we can’t do anything against it, love is not something, you are able to control.
- It’s not fair, I just wanted to make her happy, why is have to be like this? I don’t even realized that they are dating behind my back. I feel so betrayed!
- I’m so sorry that you have to get through this. - you meant that because it was one of the worst feelings in the whole world.
- What if I don’t accept this? - he asked, which made you blink in disbelief:
- You hear me Y/N! What if we don’t accept this? What if we refuse it and make an attempt to change their mind? - are you dreaming this? Because it’s becoming a little bit absurd now:
- Do you know some kind of which, who crafting love potions or what?
- No! But, now that you mention it maybe we can find one as well! - you raised your eyebrows at him, he can’t be serious:
- Let’s be real! I need to prove her, that she missed and amazing boyfriend! Also you need to prove Felix, that you are worthy enough to date him! We have to make them jealous! They have to scream out from jealousy!
- Don’t say that you want to...
- Exactly! Let’s play a little a game, shall we?
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