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#ive been working on this since session like 5 or something lmao
narwhalandchill · 12 days
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ok misc stream thoughts!!!
ANYWAY livestream over nice 30 pulls of aventurine funds for anni!!!! they didnt do anything insane but honestly it was kinda cope to expect them to, ratio for free was clearly a more of a spontaneous move and hes available throughout anniversary anyway so the "another 5*" were.... a little over the top im sorry wjkjwdjkwdjk altho i wouldnt have complained obviously. a free himeko or sth couldve been on theme for the cosmodussy event but eh cant be helped
im actually glad for the skippability of the reruns 😭😭 like i have luocha n jingliu (+ LC for latter) so by skipping acheron for now im gonna have a nice time getting aventurine and most likely his LC (2/3 of his 4* LC selection is so sad tho), love that fucker hope he gets to do proper mayhem in story too. cool death talk please dont actually die yourself for real for real tho i will be sad. like i do think its based of aventurine to pull off a stunt that appears to be what we in the business might call a certified chapter 5 komaeda moment but. ahahaha nooo dont actually die youre such a funny hat man .
(also sick boss form is sick but . bootleg FL im sorry aventurine. they hit perfection already and theyre never fucking topping the galaxy cape cyclops eye beak mask drip i swear JSWJWJDKWJKDWJK but also yes me biased? in favor of that ginger? i could never)
but it seems ill have a solid time getting aventurine and saving up for now??? since i dont think im too interested in robin or boothill either. i was kinda worried topaz' rerun would be in 2.1 for IPC antics with aventurine bc i am kinda curious abt pulling for her but now its gonna be 2.2 at the earliest so. Phew
the stream ran a bit too long lmao but like overall i tend to like the dev discussions so most of it was still neat, altho downside of dev streams is that not knowing chinese i cant just like. afk and listen on headphones and go get water or something 💀💀 and they were definitely dragging stuff out on purpose no way they werent but eh. people will live its just bideo game livestream. and like these folks do hard work on the game they can yap about what they do sometimes its only right lmao
leakers public shaming session was definitely a jumpscare but i do genuinely empathize w shaoji on that one. like. ive always been one for kit + banner leaks first and foremost and story leaks just. i dont care for them much. ive had my share of looking at them occasionally but i definitely agree with the way story leaks either by themselves or when misconstrued and misinterpreted really fucking mess with the intended experience for any given story and how that must feel like shit for the writers. like if story leaks stopped happening altogether id be perfectly content. and thats just ppl who look at story leaks on purpose cuz. im not going to even begin w how like. yes the leaks subreddits and most big leakers do spoiler warnings and keep the story stuff spoilered. but then theres literally the entire rest of the internet where shit gets spread untagged and without warnings the second they are posted anywhere at all and how that fucking ruins peoples experiences. like its 1 thing to click at a spoiler tagged post knowingly and get ur experience messed up with. but when u dont even want to see it its rly fucking bad and i v well understand condemning all story leaks (even those properly flagged) just on that basis alone. but yeah actually felt bad for him there and see where he was coming from for sure, even as a consumer of leaks
ok well that sure was a wall of text. didnt expect to write that much JWJKWJKDDWJK but ya
Anyway. biggest priority is holding strong w skipping acheron as sick as her animations are but def looking forward to her teaser and the animated short. like . even with the black swan dykery. (that was a fucking jumpscare too). i dont need her rn. despite how cool she is 😭😭
& also have to say im v happy they clarified their stance on hi3rd references like. the way theyre going abt it is absolutely how it should be going. hsr by nature is more directly linked to hi3rd like honkai is in the name but its such a dumbass idea (like some fan takes out there....) to want the stories of hsr depend on another games lore. rewarding old fans with easter eggs and tidbits is perfectly fine and im even interested in seeing where they go with acherons obvious raiden situation - especially knowing theyre not about to ruin their own story with "it was hi3rd all along!" (not that i ever rly thought theyd seriously blunder that bad lmao 💀) . so yea thats neat
i think story wise im not gonna say much of my thoughts bc unfortunately i have clicked on like. a leak or four. not the major stuff i dont think but enough that commenting on stuff w some of the things im aware of in the periphery is going to tint stuff . but im still excited to see where things go!!!
AAND OH. ACTUALLY i do have one more thing . so the multiple POV thing being actually implemented is SOOOO good im so fucking happy theyre committing to it being a thing 😭😭😭 like SO many story pitfalls can be avoided by just letting it be that TB doesnt need to be fucking everywhere a major thing happens as the centerpiece of events so we as players can see it. like it gives a way of showing different events and sides of characters in a much more natural manner its sooo good that theyre implementing it already. like this alone has me in such high hopes for the story going forward. like yea theyve branched from our POV before already and in penacony as well but expanding on it even more is 100% the correct way forward
last thing: god they did jingliu so dirty in her concert illustration. WHAT is she wearing 💀💀💀anyway yeah lesgo 2.1 its cool
i lied real last thing: siobhan . siobhan i would do anything---
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evilfarmin · 2 years
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keep THEM in your heart
@cobalt-shade-of-blue
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burnedbyshoto · 3 years
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spiral
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— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.
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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)
word count: 2,695
a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 
day 5 main kink: gloryhole
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If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.
At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.
Or at least, not until right now. 
You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.
His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.
You hated it.
Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.
You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 
You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!
Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!
Not a perv!
Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.
Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.
“Afternoon.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 
You weren’t a pervert!
With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.
Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.
“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 
You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.
“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 
“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”
“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”
The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.
“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.
“Just tell us.”
“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”
“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.
“KACCHAN!”
“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”
They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.
Oh no, this was all your fault! 
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”
“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”
You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.
It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”
The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.
“Please?”
And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.
A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.
Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.
His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 
But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 
“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.
Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.
You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.
It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 
Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 
A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 
“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”
A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.
And so, it continued. 
You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 
The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.
“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”
A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 
You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.
With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.
With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.
You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 
Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.
“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.
“I don’t think I’m hungry.”
“No?”
“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”
He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.
“Sounds like a deal to me.”
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thestuckylibrary · 5 years
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Group Ask 132
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Anon 1 said:
hey!!! ok so this is SUPER vague but it was a oneshot i read back in 2016/early 2017 and it was something like the avengers travelling through steves memories or something???? I'm not sure if the memories were bucky related because i remember at the end bucky is there????? sorry for how vague this is but it might be post cacw and vision might be involved but if u can't find this no worries!!!!!
orchidsrule sent in Mindstones and Other Malfunctions* by HunterPeverell (complete | 21,025 | E) *rape/noncon, heed the tags
Anon 2 said:
hey where’s that fic where ppl dig up bucky and think he’s steve?
Anon, abarbaricyalp, dragonflybeach and gwydions sent in Seven times Steve Rogers was not what everyone expected him to be (+1 time he really, really wasn't what everyone expected him to be) by StuckySituation (complete | 3,515 | T)
buckysxmetalxarm said:
Hi, sorry, I tried looking through ao3 tags searching a/b/o, omega!steve alpha!bucky, mpreg but I don't remember enough bout the fic to find it :/ I kno it’s a/b/o & Steve‘s an Omega and he’s pregnant, (was since before the ice but didn’t know it) & the Winter Soldier is really attracted to his scent & Steve doesn't know why cause other Alphas shouldn't like the smell of pregnant Omegas that aren't theirs but like it is Bucky's so he likes it? That's all I remember? Sorry & thank you in advance!
Anon 3 said:
Hey a few years ago I read a long ass stucky fic. The author used “real” events from the mcu but added much more detail. Eg they wrote missions w the howling commando etc. back then it wasn’t completed and somehow lost is. In a chapter where Steve was on his first (?) mission (the one where he was looking for buck) and Came back with Bucky. During that time they already made some experiments w Buck and he was starting to feel weird while staying in a tent w Cap?? I was wondering if you know which one I mean and if yes is it still up?? What’s it called??
Anon 4 said:
I'm having a hard time finding this fic- I think it was a pwp where Bucky like accidentally Pavlov'd Steve into getting hard every time he put his hair up? Does anyone know what I'm talking about asdfghjkl
getstucky and Anon sent in Classical Conditioning by johnboyegabombs (oneshot | 424 | M)
Anon sent in knee jerk by mcwho (oneshot | 530 | M)
deep-dark-purple said: (sex work)
Trying to find a College/Dom!Steve/Sub!Bucky/prostitute!Bucky/John!SteveAU that Ive lost & Ive had no luck Bucky is hustling through college(TJ era)and Steve(big/older)is going back & they meet in science class/go to group study sessions I think & then catch feelings Meanwhile theres a lot of rope tying(Steve took classes to do)& a scene I remember vividly is where Bucky comes but Steve purposely makes it so Bucky doesnt get the release of it though Bucky says something like You ruined it & sobs
Anon sent in Ain't No Rest for the Wicked* by Kellyscams (complete | 305,786 | E) */others, sex work, alcohol
Anon 5 said:
Could you help me with this particular fic that happened after Civil War it's basically Steve taking Bucky to an isolated place while getting rid of Bucky's winter soldier activation code-- Steve gets hurt a lot before he finally made it through the entire code without Bucky going violent. Thanks!
Anon sent in après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain (complete | 9,257 | T )
Anon 6 said:
I’ve been looking for this fic for ages - modern times but canon compliant up until tws. I think the fic is post-tws. Bucky finds a pregnant cat (or cat with kittens?) and keeps it. He then later on gives each kitten to an avenger and, i believe, keeps momma cat. I’m not sure how stucky centric it is
sweet-nightingale-96 said:
Hi, I was wondering if you can help me find a fic. In this fic Bucky has escaped hydra before Steve wakes up. Bucky has no memories of his time in Hydra, but he is there when Steve becomes an Avenger. I believe the story was called The Red Star, or something like that. But I’m not sure. I do remember it retelling the movies from Avengers (2012) and onward with Bucky in it, if that helps?
Anon 7 said:
hi there was this one fix where Steve and Bucky were fwb in the 40s and Steve confessed to Bucky he shot Steve down thinking he was protecting him and fast forward to the present where Bucky doesn't remember what he did to Steve only that they were intimate
princessniitza sent in chapter 10 of Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar  (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags
Anon 8 said:
I'm looking for a fic where bucky moves in with Steve who's a retired captain and the entire fic they're learning how to be roomies while also pining and at one point bucky is in a bathtub full of kittens and i can't remember the title for the life of me. Any thoughts?
bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and therandomravenclw sent in Critical Feline Mass by Kryptaria, rayvanfox (complete | 39,533 | T)
Anon 9 said:
Hi! Ive gone deep In my ao3 history and in your post caws tag and I just can’t seem to find this fic I’m looking for. I just can’t recall the fic description. What I remember from it is Bucky sneaking into the avengers tower & only Steve knows for a while and Bucky always gets high on Steve’s Tranquilizer lollipops. At the end Bucky confesses he’s loved Steve the whole time & Steve gets upset & beats up punching bags. This has been a week long search & I hope it’s findable!
bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and ice-whisper sent in Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena (oneshot | 26,734 | M)
tygerblaze said:
It was Stucky, where Tony sees Bucky undergo the chair torture by General Ross. Decides, I’m gonnna break him out, cause no one deserves that. He calls Steve from the road while Bucky is recovering in the car, it becomes a slight road trip and Bucky becomes friends with Tony. Not sure if it’s post civil war or post tws.
Anon, itsagentromanoff, dragonflybeach and getstucky sent in i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain (complete | 65,815 | T)
Anon 10 said: (sex work)
I'm dying- I can't find this fic and I don't remember a whole lot. I think Steve was a small dom and had Bucky as a client (I think?) and they were trying like binding (?) and Bucky safeworded and left in a panic and it led to Steve dropping. Bucky came back and was like "?? is this top drop are you dropping" and Steve was like "yeah" and I can't remember anything after that lmao I could've sworn one of the tags was topdrop but I couldn't find it and I... need help ty <3
time-lord-no-more, Anon, lesbianhozier and princessniitza sent in we are the things that we do for fun* by Nonymos (complete | 35,585 | E) *sex work
Anon 11 said: (rape/noncon)
Hi, I`m searching for a fic it was from Ao3. Bucky and Steve had a relationship before. The Winter Soldier is brought back to the tower. At some point he is in a room together with Steve. The other looking at them via cameras. The WS has manipulated the look at the door so Steve can´t get out of the room an the others can´t get in. The WS/Bucky forces himself on Steve, who doesn´t fight back, because Steve thinks when Bucky is totally himself again he would be terrified of his actions otherwise.
Anon sent in Even When I Had Nothing* by AnnaFugazzi (complete | 57,457 | unrated) *cw noncon ; extremely dark themes ; extreme angst ; abusive relationship
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tellmesomethinggg · 4 years
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****
linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read
(for later when i got time lmao)
Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe
well fuck
here goes nothing
the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work
Gaby (coles gf) came too btw
so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)
me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol
later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever
so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out
and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t
so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious
matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship
cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt
and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed
he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh
also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there
also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so
yeah
fuck
alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon
Can Tim see what I write on this?     -Chloe
Yes -Janet
Hi Tim!
-Chloe
Tim pls respond.
-Chloe
Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL
He responded I’m so happy!
-Chloe
FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton
and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh
FEB 15 1 pm
chillin in alp so lets get this chisme
alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva
brb
anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao
oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes
and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times
FEB 14 2pm
heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg
so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh
and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room
oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh
i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?
also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens
FEB 10 11am
okay soooo last night,
the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)
we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this
later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th
brb im gonna go eat with him
okay im back now...
anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/
continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit
and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now
also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah
FEB 8 1AM
i remembered:
sunday 2-3
i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died
Monday 2-4
so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah
i like hanging out with him
also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK
i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo
FEB 7 5-7 PM
so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible
saturday 2-2
alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)
so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on
andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them
and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd
and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD
so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room
(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)
sunday 2-3
so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening
i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao
and then i go to work :(
but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)
and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)
monday 2-4
so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]
alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again
possibly staying the night lmao
but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night
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thelifetimechannel · 5 years
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In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all
DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other DAVESPRITE: im proud HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight. DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain. DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't. HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on. DAVESPRITE: hey if it works DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up. HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels. DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand. DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side? HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes. DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer. DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos. DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh. HALSPRITE: Only kazoos. DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]] DAVESPRITE: / screams HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]] DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths. HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave. DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]] DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm) HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]] DAVESPRITE: lmao DAVESPRITE: // * lmao DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave. HALSPRITE: Forever and ever. DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1 DAVESPRITE: so whats next DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue. DAVESPRITE: / my god DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now. DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds. HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished. DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots. DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009 DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it DAVESPRITE: old hobbies DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c DAVESPRITE: humans* HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason. DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy. HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else. DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of... HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going? HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man. DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism. HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right? HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones. DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind. HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries. DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping HALSPRITE: I'll live. HALSPRITE: Probably. HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game. HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train? DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability. HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code. DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson. DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory. HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back. DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives" DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine. DAVESPRITE: wait really HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs. HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available. DAVESPRITE: huh DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in. DAVESPRITE: any suggestions DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it. DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later
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hyungkyun · 6 years
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(^:
HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.
ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.
first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?
youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~
BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting
however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///
but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.
actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.
but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)
he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!
so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://
but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj
but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???
until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:
anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.
since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj
u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm
u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.
it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.
one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’
it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.
but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.
but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.
it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/
y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese
((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))
at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)
after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.
he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.
[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!
jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.
obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…
so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.
so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!
u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:
so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.
he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn
it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.
he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.
u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.
oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY
even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  
[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  
at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh
catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:
that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready
u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.
he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:
study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:
he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…
every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm
and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.
buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.
he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  
he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.
u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  
from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy
if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers
expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!
he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:
oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔
there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.
he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.
if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:
u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile
he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://
on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD
But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:
ok time to get Domestic lads!!!
Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.
be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)
random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying
but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless
he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  
can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his
anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao
I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 
icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love
why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.
i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)
i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(
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Camilla’s Best Quotes #3
It’s been a while since we’ve had one of these, hasn’t it? A whole lot has happened since the last Camilla’s Best Quotes, and we’ve gone from fun bants with the jolly party to intense Murder Times with confusion, mystery and betrayal. No one seems to know what anyone’s doing or thinking and there is MILD DISSENT among the party members. So, let’s hear what Dancer, Tuile, Corva, Belloth and Heskan had to say this time!
1. Dagger party!
Corva: well I don't think I need 13 daggers
Hamster Master (GM): xD
Corva: I'll just take 1
Couch: that's quitter talk corva
2. Are you sure about that?
Shadowdancer: "Hey, where's Corva?"
Tuile shrugs.
Belloth: "Don't know."
Shadowdancer: "That's not good."
Belloth: "I'm sure she's alright. I trust her judgement."
Camilla: do you djskjksj
Eff: lmao good one
Camilla: after last time
3. I don’t need to caption this
Shadowdancer: "We should, uh, split up. I don't do well in crowds."
Tuile: "Hoe?"
4. We’re pretty useless
Hamster Master (GM): are you attacking straight away without talkin
Belloth: i mean that was what i was plannin
Hamster Master (GM): tell me what u do i cant read ur minds xD
Cravin Raisins: give a witty one liner
Hamster Master (GM): if ur quiet ur just standing there
Eff: oh my god i should've gone in huh
5. Detective Belloth Bittenbinder
Couch: NOW IVE THROWN HER OFF HER RHYTHM
Hamster Master (GM): erhw45h4wth
Couch: STREET SMARTS
Cravin Raisins: THE BELLOTH METHOD
Hamster Master (GM): STREET SMARTS
CONTINUED UNDER THE CUT...
6. I’m putting this here because I can. It isn’t funny but I thought it was a pretty cool conversation (just the sort of one you should be having in the middle of a battle!)
Corva: "Why did you lie to us?"
Frida: What do you mean?
Corva: "We found your assassins.Their actions may be questionable but their motivation is not."
Frida: What are you talking about?
Corva: "I- I don't want to hurt you. But you are a terrible ruler. You hurt people."
Frida: I do what I have to do! This town is falling apart!
Corva: "I don't care! It's wrong! Find another solution!"
Frida: I've saved a lot of people this way!
Corva: "But now a lot of people want you dead."
Frida: Including you apparently! Well, try it!
Corva: "No, I don't. I just want you to stop ruining lives."
Frida: I save lives.
Corva: "I knew someone once who made that same excuse. It's possible to do both." 
7.Okay, back to SMASH
Couch: i would like to smash but only when people are satisfied
Eff: do what bell would do. Let her smash
Couch: lemme smash
Hamster Master (GM): then smash
Eff: TEAR THAT BITCH APART
8. It honestly wouldn’t have been surprising at this point
Corva: I cast healing word on Belloth
Heskan: nice
Couch: danks
Eff: christ for a moment i thought you cast it on frida
Hamster Master (GM): gbgwthjnr4
Heskan: me too
Hamster Master (GM): nice
Cravin Raisins: PLOT TWIST
Eff: "there corva goes again that wild bastard"
Couch: "What the fuck bro"
9. I’d rather not
As you fight, you hear something.
Eff: shit
Couch: h-hewwo?
Cravin Raisins: hewwo??
Heskan: oh no
Cravin Raisins: wefkgjfrhedsAX
Shadowdancer: "Well fuck my donkey."
10. Looting a woman’s dead body in front of her guards!
Cravin Raisins: i wanna loot her body
Cravin Raisins: will corva be bissed lmao
Camilla: massively
Camilla: but go ahead
Cravin Raisins: welp
Cravin Raisins: yes
11. I’m getting deja vu from a few sessions ago
Belloth rolls a 4 on a dexterity save.
You all manage to grab onto something and stay upright.
Belloth: except for bell who dies 
And just as suddenly as it began, it stops.
Hamster Master (GM): oh right, Bell
Bell fell on her ass.
12. Seeing double
Corva: why are there two corvas
Eff: WE'RE MULTIPLYING
Corva: WHAT TE FUCK
Belloth: MIRROR IMAGE
Cravin Raisins: AHH
Briar: THEY'RE CLONES
Cravin Raisins: we have to fight them now
Belloth: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
Hamster Master (GM): sorryyyyy
13. *side-eyes*
Shadowdancer joins the others.
Camilla: wonder what happened up there......... :)
Shadowdancer: "Post-battle makeout sesh. And you're free to come along, if you want."
Vinmin goes downstairs. 
Corva: "No thanks."
Corva fiddles with a ring on her finger.
Shadowdancer: "I was talking to Vinmin, you wee pacifist you."
Camilla: :))
Eff: also idk why but i'm gonna pretend corva said that and not cam
14. Murder is hungry work
Tuile: "I want to go to the bakery."
Shadowdancer: "Oh, me too! I'm in the mood for some ... hmm. Muffins?"
Tuile: "Mmm..."
Corva looks INCREDIBLY disenchanted.
Vinmin: I want muffins...
Shadowdancer: "Celebratory muffins?"
Belloth: "Those do sound good."
Tuile: "Cupcakes, maybe... Hm... Okay."
Shadowdancer: "I could never tell the difference."
Camilla: why would the bakery be open late at night?
Vinmin: Some nice bread!
Cravin Raisins: what time is it?
Tuile: "Bread. Yes."
Belloth: "Yeah!"
Eff: it's always open if you're not a coward
Tuile: "Obviously."
Hamster Master (GM): its like...morning soon. I would say 4 am.
Camilla: well bakers get up early to make the goods
Tuile: "Let's go!"
Camilla: so they've probably made some stuff at least
Hamster Master (GM): awergwe4
Tuile: "Quickly!"
Shadowdancer: "To the bakery!"
Hamster Master (GM): r u really leavin and goin to the bakeryx'D
Eff: ... yes ?
Cravin Raisins: yeehaw 
15. A lot has changed, and nothing has changed
Cravin Raisins: human emotions? whats that? Tuile just wants food. 
I’m so looking forward to arc 2 and I know the other guys are too! You guys better be ready for Corva’s intense glow-up...
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bottomxkeith · 6 years
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% Resending for my own peace of mind lmao. I hc that everyone including keith himself thinks hed be dominant. And it starts off that way at first. Hes always topping and fucking lance. It feels good and no one is complaining so it goes on like this for a while. One day, lance is like why dont i ever top and keith is like because you look so nice under me or smth idk lmao. Of course this leads to a fight(tm) and they make up blah blah blah. Its revealed that keith has never touched himself back
% there. So Lance is like ok we’ll take it slow. Keith agrees and so the day comes for them to go at it and Keith’s world is changed forever. Lance only fingers him but he comes the hardest he ever has in his life and he wants more. But their dynamic being what it is, of course their prides are on the line to some extent. He can’t stand to see Lance’s smug face and deal with the gloating so he tells Lance he didn’t like it and they go back to their regularly scheduled sex lives.
% But this time Keith knows what he’s missing and he’s trying to work up to telling him the truth. Turns out being fingered triggered his dormant Galra Omega side and he’s producing ass lube. Which freaks him out so he goes to Coran who does a physical exam on him and tells him that since he’s only half Galra he’ll experience only half of the symptoms of the usual type of omega heat, which in this case is just a self lubricating asshole once a month.
% Coran gives him entire history of galra sex ed or smth and Keith is now armed with the knowledge that if he were full galra he’d be losing his mind and begging to be fucked until he passes out. Which gives Keith the idea to con Lance(sorry Lance) into believing he has heats. This way he can keep his pride and get fucked AT THE SAME TIME. So anyway Keith acts out the symptoms of real heat, which despite his terrible lying skills is easy for him to do because he’s despo. And now once a month he
% has a good time “reluctantly” getting railed within an inch of his life while the rest of the time Lance is on bottom. This goes on for like ¾ months or smth when the next time he has a “heat” Lance pulls out a shitton of freaky sex toys. “I found info on galra heat cycles and I realized that I might not be satisfying you. Galra have heats that last like 3 days. Since ur half I would guess it’s more like 1 and a half, which means I finish way too fast and am not actually keeping up with you."
% Sorry for that btw. You should have said smth. ” Keith feels fear but plays it off as neediness while screaming on the inside. He is fucking horrified at what Lance has with him. There’s a dildo with a knot and some kind of wiggly tentacle thing and this liquid that keeps reforming into different dick shapes, etc.. In one session Keith has been dp’ed, sounded, stuffed with weird galra cum lube for omegas, which is supposed to work like an IV drip for health while in heat
% heat + added pheromone to help make it go by faster but since Keith is half it just gives him a super sensitive ass. He’s so tired, he’s coming dry and drooling, can’t close his mouth so he’s making the most pathetic sounds. Lance makes him come by touching his nipples once and he blacks out. It takes him a week to recover but he wants it again right now immediately. When they finally have regular sex again Lance whips out a suction dildo and cockring says “so I read that if omegas get fucked
%regularly their heats arent as bad. We can try again outside of heat to make it better for u. You can use it while you’re screwing me so it doesn’t feel bad. Maybe if u like it we can switch more” And Keith is so happy like he never has to admit to lying and he gets fucked more often. So Keith’s got the cocking on his dick, dildo in ass, and Lance riding his dick while jacking off. Lance comes and Keith’s so distraught bc he wants more.
% But Lance pushes him over and nails him doggy style with the dildo. Keith’s begging him to take the ring off so he can come already and he’s losing it, his eyes are going half lidded when Lance says something that makes him wake the fuck back up “Wow it’s like ur in heat. Funny considering that it’s biologically impossible for half galra to have actual heats.” And Keith goes through all his emotions within the span of 5 seconds. He can’t decide how to react bc he’s so shaken but in the end he
% pushes Lance down, undoes the cockring, and puts it on Lance. Then he rides him for the first time, moan/gasping/screaming out “yes yes yes” every time he slams down. Lance is begging Keith to take off the cockring and to let him fuck him but Keith is like “but you look so nice under me like this” Anyway Lance ends up regretting the whole thing a bit because he almost never gets to bottom anymore and always has to do The Work. But only a little bc seeing Keith getting ruined is gr9. The End.
This...this is a whole fic in my ask box, and I am so blessed. Thank you for sharing this with us, it’s truly amazing. Brb while I go cry tears of joy, you are a blessing
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shytiff · 4 years
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Small July Wins
1 - atikah and racheel came over, oa webinar (rheumatology), duolingo (DL)
2 - they ended up sleeping over, DL, "attended" pak Kus' webinar just becausee hes my skripsi advisor
3 - a page of padi cbt, idai webinar (respiratory disease in covid era), DL
4 - ran 3 laps in my house complex (afterwards my heart was pounding against my chest), hopecardis webinar (arrythmia), DL
5 - 1 ma article (moluskum kontagiosum), perkani webinar (congenital heart disease), DL
6 - DL, idai webinar (pregnancy and newborn stuff in covid era), put sheet mask on lol i neglect my face a lot lately
7 - accompanied juan with mom to perbanas institute for sbmptn, while waiting we went to lucky cat and imeri to get apd, picked up juan, went to social pot (kokas) afterwards, DL. Lucky cat was empty, the vibes of a cafe felt new to me (it surely has been a while). I felt super refreshed. Did some writing for ma article there. Tried salmon and black olive spaghetti, caesar salad, mom drank piccolo. The spaghetti kinda tasted like mi telor but with salmon lol. Talked and laughed plenty with mom :) i rarely talk with her nowadays. Im glad the awkwardness melted away
8 - videocalled with apa salahku for gaby's birthday, zoom for school prep (covid safety stuff), a bit of cbt padi, DL
9 - negative rapid test alhamdulillah, fk digital (kejang anak), cbt padi, DL
10 - some exercise, talked with shiko on zoom, DL, aand since i started padi CBT i finished 2 tryouts (150 questions). It’s not a lot but Im proud of myself :)
11 - went to tj duren with ara, but while we wait the n95 seller we went to citraland, tried fried salmon roll at shigeru, ended up meeting the guy at cl, afterwards we got pisang goreng madu bu nanik, went to rodalink pesanggrahan, ended up getting seirockya at puri, and then i dropped ara off at tj duren. Theeen i went to devis place to hang out and sleepover. Lots of foods. Delicious "lava cake" made from instant brownie mix. Played werewolf. In the morning i managed to finish the pre and post tests in OCI Covid. Happy tummy and laughter :) i hope i can be more productive after this
12 - DL (thank god i freezed streak for weekend because i completely forgout about it yesterday), during sleepover @ devi’s we watched love for sale, a copy of my mind, and love for sale 2. The frustration is real bruh we rly wanted to know more about Arini. Did UKDMA (2 attempts, score: 24, 58), wrote 1 MA article, sorted my downloads folder a bit. After ‘wasting’ (happy times is never a wasted time but still, there’s stuff to do) my time yesterday i felt more urge to do something useful
13 - actually started my day with DL and padi cbt wow (brain still fresh from sleep), CBD about BPPV with dr Widayat. Since ive experienced one before i asked and asked and asked lmaooo. Packed up some of the stuff for tomorrow, hoping to not forget things. Read the journal for litrev before bed
14 - DL, first day of school after a while -- turns out weight distribution is key to avoid sore butt LOL. You kinda have to also support your body weight on your feet. Theres no sore butt at all during my 50 mins trip (amazing feat if you ask me). Went to poli rhinologi (DPJP: dr niken) she kindly gave me a patient to examine, and casually told me to put anterior tampon. I, who have never attempted it, was holding back my fear of trying something new lol. Alhamdulillah, i can somehow do it (even though one tampon fell, tiffany paboooo). The ppds kindly explained stuff to me and i feel like i shamelessly ask nowadays. Like it would be a waste not to ask something. Next was CBD @ Ara’s, we ate Ayam Bakar Mas Walid. Liqo with kak Kartika.
15 - DL, did litrev in the morning bcs i fell asleep lmaoo, tweaked tumblr a bit (i like low contrast the most), fell asleep while watching larynx anatomy video until 1:30 pm yalll i missed half of cbd. Tried to read stuff for poli larfar tomorrow.
16 - DL, ppds i met today lives in poris and worked at puskesmas kalideres lmaoo. Had a bit of headache and gassy stomach that felt better after sleeping and eating. thank god i was picked up by mom and theres food and stuff. i guess the difference of being at home and kosan is that you kinda remember more who youre fighting for. my mind felt healthy-ish lately, of some sort. but the headache made me sluggish
17 - DL, nevermind about the healthy mind part lmaoo
18 - DL, physical activity, padi cbt (after 200 questions i was today years old when i realized there were answer keys on telegram 👁️👄👁️), read optima tht batch 1 2020. Watched khs playing chess blindfolded against try guys and then i was purely amazed by what the human brain can do. It somehow motivated me to study lol
19 - DL, finished optima pem tht batch 1 2020, made 1 cbd ppt, webinar "holistic skin rejuvenation", free mindset tryout
20 - DL, haven’t got minicex but at least im trying to stay hopeful!1!, read the notes from today’s cbd since i basically only heard the whole thing on my motorbike like a podcast, did nasal irrigation n took a slow release vit c
21 - started the day with some stretches and squats, trying to drink more water!!, listened to kak dela's tips for ukmmpd from mindset, DL, read a bit abt epistaxis, the clear wallet i ordered from china finally arrived, edited 1 buku pld article
22 - was in poli onko this morning w ara, a patients consciousness was decreasing so code blue was activated. Finished poli at 1 am. It's been awhile since I last saw emergency situations. Went to maison weiner, ate almond croissant there and bought chocolate sourdough and chicken pie. Despite not getting minicex, the road home was not hot, the sun hidden away. The wind is breezing, podcast is on, talking about mindfulness. Todays quite a good day. Im healthy, insyaAllah. I hope my family will also stay healthy. Woke up at 11ish pm, DL, made my ppt for lcbe exam ((tomorrow)) til 1 am
23 - DL, lcbe exam with dr arie (turns out he picked epistaxis over sinonasal tumour), met up with racheel devi silvi at mcd and jco. Hojicha oreo mcflurry tasted good. Got lost on the way to racheels house lmaoo. She flies to malang tomorrow. Can i wish for life to stay simple and happy forever?
24 - DL, originally meant to be a minicex session turned out to be story time by dr Ezzy, she told us about cases that she managed, one of them is putting on tracheostomy for a baby with Moebius syndrome that went viral on twitter. We didnt even present our case and she only asked us for the scoring form. Thank you doc our lifesaver :”” after trying so hard for minicex the last 2 days turns out maybe its fated so we can meet and be inspired dr Ezzy. Mom picked me and we went to Maison Weiner before going home. Passed out from 6pm until the morning lmao
25 - a bit of exercise, DL, tried kemonyu.id mentai from duta garden, i’ve had better mentai than it but at least its on promo. it uses butter rice so that’s something new to me. rapat nemo to decide dates
26 - DL, liqo with kak Kartika about things you can do in Dzulhijjah, A2, started reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020
27 - DL, round was cancelled bcs no patient, lazed around and slept and lazed, continued reading pem dv optima, did like a half of 1 pamela reif video and my HR soared in 2 mins lmaoo
28 - DL, finally mustered the will to finish DS etika profesi, finished reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020, 2A, did 1 pamela reif video (titled 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill u), read a bit of my dv notes
29 - DL, ppds at poli were so kind!, ate shabu2 by mom and basically fell asleep
30 - DL, made ppt PKL, alhamdulillah PKL went ok with dr ika
31 - watched annabelle comes home and suicide squad with keisha karin juan, DL, relatives came to our place, ara also came for a sleepover and after i picked her up we went to dajens place lmaoo they set up bbq
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saintkimora · 7 years
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here is an update on how my life has been this past week even though no one asked. its basically how things have been w work, therapy, and my search for a new man
so on monday i had work. they put me on the floor though instead of at the register which was annoying. but whenever the line got really long they would put me on the register to help speed things up so it wasnt all bad. and i talked to my new work bff destyne a lot! and they put us on our 15 minute break together and we talked like the whole time! she told me about the dog collar she was wearing and then the cord for her walkie somehow got tangled up with the keychain on her bag
i was the first one that day to get a credit card so i was happy about that! by the end of the day we had like 16-18 cards in total. i kind of fell into a slump in the middle and didnt get any more cards but towards the end i got 2 more so my total for the day was 3. the highest was one girl with 5 so i wasnt the best but at least i didnt only get 1
then on tuesday i met w my therapist. i was soooooo tired from work on monday night and i fell asleep instantly when i laid down in bed and ended up sleeping over 14 hours and missing my appointment rip. she left me a voicemail and she was like “perry we’re not getting off on the right foot...” but i called her back and apologized and exaggerated my dads situation to use as an excuse. so she was like omg im so sorry then we rescheduled for like an hour later but i got there and apparently she double booked herself so i had to leave since she already had an appointment at that time. so i had to come back in another 2 hours to have our session and she felt really bad about the confusion and kept apologizing and i was like :) bc she seemed to forget that this was all my fault in the first place for missing our original appointment
so we had our actual session and it was nice! i actually really had to pee for like half of it so that was uncomfortable but the conversation we had was good. we talked a lot about the caleb situation and how it ended and she gave me a lot of tips for preventing this from happening again! and she said i was like radiant and that i seemed so happy and stuff and like shes right! she also talked a lot of shit about caleb like she really went in on him lmao but none of the things she said were lies so. anyways it was really nice i like her shes v fun and supportive
for the rest of the week ive just been sitting at home all day playing videogames and stuff. it was v nice and relaxing at first but im starting to get bored :/ and my thoughts have been wandering to places i dont want them to wander to so i really need to like focus on something to keep my mind busy
i started talking to this guy on grindr and he seems nice and he was busy this week but we decided to go on a date next week! hes REALLY really cute but i dont really feel like hes gonna like me so im kinda not looking forward to our date. talking to him has been kinda stressing me out bc i keep overthinking everything. and i just dont feel like our personalities are gonna be compatible, like hes already about to get a job he’ll most likely have for the rest of his life and hes already thinking about starting a family and stuff (even though hes only 1 year older than me) and im like nowhere near any of that stuff. also he seems more social/extroverted than me and we’ve all seen how that turns out. he also seems to have a v chill laidback masc type personality and i dont really get along well with guys like that. so i dont think we’re gonna have a relationship unfortunately but itll be nice to get out of the house for a little bit even if its only for one date
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pastcloudfromffvii · 7 years
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but yeah we have one alter in here that is Convinced that he’s cis despite his identity not matching up with the body (it’s not a radical stance or anything he just doesn’t quite grasp the concept yet lmao he’s only been around 5 years or so) and is also convinced he’s not autistic even though thats. not how autism works.
therapist suggested that he’s Decided/Interpreted that he’s not autistic like the rest of the system because he fronts like 0.02% of the time and is just. hasn’t learned to cope with being autistic in an allistic world the way zex and i have, which is interesting and something ive never considered before. and something he’s going to have to work through if he ever wants to “””Function Normally”” lmao
of course since the shit happened w that person like a month or whatever ago now, guess who’s been in the cofront space because of similarities to the nature of his split
Class Is In Session, Renny
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lukenop · 7 years
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DO ALL OF THEM
what is it with you people and making me do every single one of these
and by ‘you people’
i mean teb
1: Would you prefer a large home or a small home?
i want a big house. I want the biggest house. I want a motherfucking castle on Mars.
no really though as long as ive got ample room for my hobbies thats all i need big bigger is better lmao
2: If you could convert a decommissioned missile silo / underground bunker into a home, would you?
Can i convert it into a regular missile silo?
yes that would be cool
3: If you had the money to buy a private island and build a custom castle on it, would you?
is...is this actually a question? fuck yeah
4: Have you ever attempted to start a micronation?
no
5: Would you ever wanna start a micronation?
i want to start a regular nation. i think i’ll call it...Bosnia.
6: Do you like to dress fancy?
Occasionally.
7: Have you ever considered running for office? Either on a national or subnational level.
i’ve considered it for when i get older but then every time it’s like
‘nah fuck politics’
8: Do you have any famous family members? What are they famous for?
The guy who played Prince Humperdink in The Princess Bride is either a distant cousin or a family friend. My family uses those interchangeably so fuck if i know.
9: Favourite James Bond film?
FFFFUUUUUUUCK i havent seen most of them in the past few years but in recent memory id have to say Skyfall
Skyfall was pretty fucking good
10: Where’s the most “exotic” place you’ve been to?
Colorado.
11: Have you ever voted in a national election? What about local?
no but i’ll be old enough in a few months ayyyy
12: What do you identify as, politically speaking?
left-leaning centrist
13: Would you move to another country if you fell in love with someone from that country? What about state (or other national subdivision)?
Depends on a lot of separate factors.
14: Do you wear hats often?
BRO I wear hats like 90% of the time. I collect hats. I love hats.
15: Would you ever enlist in your nation’s armed forces?
Voluntarily? No.
16: Would you ever consider mercenary work?
‘s good money
17: When you go to a sandwich shop (such as Subway), what do you normally get on your sandwich?
i get a pizza. i don’t like sandwiches
18: What would perfect date be for you?
fuck i dunno
just like
whatever i guess i dunno
one where it ends with my death
19: What do you like in your coffee?
cyanide
20: Have you ever been to a formal party, other than prom, a wedding, or homecoming?
well out of the three listed ive only been to a wedding so
My family is Greek Orthodox so we put pretty big emphasis on shit like this
parties after baptisms, etc
i’ve been to a few where i just sorta sat in the back and read a book since im terrible with people
21: Of the many obscure languages of the world, which would you most like to learn?
luxembourgish
22: How many children do you wish to have?
dont really care
23: Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
crimes against humanity
24: What is a show you love that not many people would know you love?
bob ross
when people look at me i doubt that they think ‘oh that guy enjoys watching a calming painting session’
25: Have you ever jumped out of a window?
i wish no
26: Do you like to dress fancily?
wasnt this asked already
27: If you could bring back any style of fashion from history, what would you bring back?
victorian england. gimme that motherfucking top hat
28: Do you like to dance?
no. definitely no. fuck no
29: What is your favourite style of architecture?
Caribbean or Italian
30: Do you have a favourite flag?
The American flag, bitch.
31: What is something you like to eat that others might find odd or gross?
when i was like four years old i used to eat miniature hot dogs right out of the jar
apparently it almost made my dad throw up
32: Have you ever fired a gun? If not, would you like to?
Yes and i love it
33: Do you like to cook?
YES
34: Do you keep a journal?
no but ive been meaning to
itll be useful when im rich and famous
35: Linux, Mac, or Windows?
windows
36: What does your ideal house look like?
a big tropical mansion on the beach in key west or some random caribbean island
or a nice-sized house by the mountains in Colorado
37: Do you prefer playing on a computer or a console?
i prefer PC but i’m not picky
38: If someone offered you a secluded cabin in the woods, with all modern conveniences (such as internet and running water), with no strings, would you accept the offer?
it’d be stupid not to
39: Have you ever accidentally left the house without an article of clothing?
i’ve left the house without my wallet and that kills me every time
i’ve had nightmares where im going about my business and realize i dont have pants
40: Do you enjoy documentaries?
depends on the subject matter
41: Do you have a favourite letter (of any alphabet)?
no
42: Where is a place you’d like to visit that people don’t generally think of as a big vacation destination?
suburban ohio
a lot of my family lives there and its really nice
43: Prefer you the City, Suburbs, or Country?
suburbs. not as many people as the city and not as redneck as the country.
44: Do you collect anything?
HATS I LOVE HATS
45: What is the worst injury you have ever received?
uhh the actual one i really dont wanna share so im just gonna say the time that i broke my arm lmao
46: Do you have a favourite coat of arms?
no but i have a coat of arms. i take my jacket off and arms just spill out everywhere. all kinds of arms. i have to clean them up. i hate it.
47: If you could have your own coat of arms, or flag, what would it look like?
two scimitars crossed behind a bull skull with a giant ribbon along the bottom that says whatever ‘fuck you’ is in Latin
48: What is one food that everyone loves, but you hate?
hamburgers
i dont like ground meat
49: What sort of car do you drive?
i drive my mom’s jaguar
but im getting my own car soon and its probably gonna be a 2008 honda civic coupe or some old chevy truck from the late 80s
50: Who is your favourite historical figure?
HANNIBAL BARCA
hes a fuckin badass my dude
OKAY thats done and my back kinda hurts for some reason haha oh well back to schoolwork and my endless wish for death
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survivormoheli · 6 years
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Episode Twelve - “Phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things” - Tara
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Tara
i'm genuinely rly sad about richie leaving. i wish i put in more effort to talk to him n b friends w him bcos he has such a fun character. what stopped me was i knew he thought i was a leaker and i just thought he wouldn't of wanted to b friends w me but i should've tried to make him want 2 b friends w me anyway lol i'm sorry richie u deserve better
Blake
HOLY MOTHER OF GARBAGE WE PULLED THAT OFF! LYNN AND TARA SAVED MY ASS TONGIHT! GIVING ERIC FAKE PROMISES FOR THE FUTURE! OMG IM SOO HAPPY WOW I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY BUTT WAS GOIN HOME OMG! WOWOWO ERIC WANTED ME OUT. goodluck phoenix and tim AND ERIC >:0 FINAL THREE ME LYNN AND TARA
Blake
o and i was scared earlier bc eric was talkin to lynn about gettin me voted out but lynn finessed the shit out of him! and then i was scared shitless bc raffy omg he does not enjoy me at all lmao! inhope me and him can make up after this game!
Blake
Lynn: My love. My sunshine. My better half. I will see you soon <3 You better win this effing game! Show everyone you are a threat. I love you and we were together from the beginning now finish this without me! Tara: OOOO Tara they have done me dirty! Fight in my memory! CONQUER THIS LAND <3 Fight like I know you can! I am going to miss you too though! This game better end soon lol Eric: OOOOOOO ERIC if im going home you must’ve flipped…. RIP. GREAT MOVE THOUGH I respect your gameplay from turning yourself into a threat instead of continuing to be a goat! Richie: I still think you’re a threat! I wish you the best of luck (you are going to need it bc look at all the amazing players left)! Pull some big moves make me love you! Give me more than humor I wanna see you kill and stab ahha! Phoenix: Where are you? Big move maybe? You planning to ride Richie to the end? Tim: Well played you got two big threats out simultaneously from flipping! Taking something from my book I see? LOL (I’m not being sarcastic btw) Everyone: OK ANYONE OF YOU CAN WIN THIS GAME! PULL SOME BIG MOVES, BLINDSIDE SOME PEOPLE, AND DON’T LET THIS GAME’S SNAKINESS DIE OUT! EVERYONE PLAY TILL THE VERY END TO WIN! THINK ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN AGASINT. MAKE SOME HUGE MOVES! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO DO!
(what i wud of said if i went home tonight at the F7 tribal)
Eric K
That was a stressful lead up to tribal. Richie was really trying to convince me to flip but it just didn't feel right. Why would il allign myself with people I've barely talked to and just trust that I'm not on the bottom? Of course I realize that Blake is a huge threat and needs to go before f3 or he will be the winner. I had a good chat with Tara and Lynn separately and we all agree that he needs to go. Hopefully it'll happen in two tribals from now since he has an advantage/immunity that can only be used at next tribal.
Tim
So Raffy and JG voted for me? They really think I was playing some middle when in reality I was just being social and going into survival mode. Like Raffy I didn't even vote for you to go home so fuck off and JG you went home because of the blind round and you dont even have any proof that I voted for you so bye!
Blake
Hi yes Goodmorning. I woke up from my peacefull slumber and was INTERROGATED! TIM i guess was like ima ask who Blake wants  int the F3 and i was shook bc none o my allies were awake or off doing something to help me formulate a response... AND WELLL PEOPLES BLAKE IS NOT THE BEST AT JUST NOT RESPONDING OR GIVING A GOOD RESPONSE! TIM asked if i was takin tara and lynn to F3 or Tara and Eric (really cnfused bc i thought i was obvi i was takin lynn not matter what?) SO ME BEING THE GENIUS THAT I AM AND NOT REFUSING T RESPOND SAID "  Well i want to win so I wanan go with ppl who I think I can win against" in all honesty im scared if i said someting with names eric might freak or some shiz! bc i am taking tara and lynn. i know i could of lied and said im takin lynn and eric but that just sounds rude. you know taking? lol. oooo WELL NOW TIMMY IS PLEADING HIS CASE WITH ME. I REALY LIKE TIM TBH. PHOENIX IS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHOO DOES NOT TALK TO ME OR TRY TO AT ALL ITS REALLY RUDE. BUT OMG THIS IS THE LORDS DAY AND IM FEELING ATTACKED
Blake
The lords day is Timmy's day today
Blake
I just had i thought. I think the winner of this game will either be more or whoever takes me out. (TIM) STAY AWAY. maybe it wont even be me and i think to highly of myself XD
Tim
The longevity of my game relies on these immunity results. If I win, I fight on to another round. If I lose then... well looks like I can't afford to lose.
Blake
OBVIOUSLY MY ASS HOLE IS GOING NEXT ! SOOOOOOOO WOW I HATE EVERYTHING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT THIS ADV WAS
Lynn
OHMYGODSHAHSBSB i feel like this vote is gonna go to rocks and that is gonna be rocks between 3 people and odds are not in my favor ajsjdn i have awful luck ohhhhh my god okay well honestly going out by rocks isn’t the worst way to go 
Blake
OMFG ok im like 99% sure that i am safe! bc i think tara and lynn will vote for tim! all we hav to do is get phoenix to flip! omg this is stressfull i hate i hate! WHY AM I BEING TARGTED ALL THE TIM OMG AHHHH! ERIC IM COMING AFTER UR ASSHOLE U BETTER WATCH OUT BUD U BETTER KEEP WIINNING OR U R GOING HOME!
Tara
omg so just got back from hanging out w phoenix n had a bunch of fun! we watched love simon and i had to try not to cry like 5 times, happy tears tho. also ijust remembered like a couple rounds ago i said that i would get phoenix to buy me ice cream and he offered but i said no!! and now i realised it ruined my whole thing n yikes! i guess the offer counts? and he also bought me m'n'ms which i am eating now n they r delicious. also phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things HAHHAHA fbdksf i REALLY ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH YOU!!! and i hope we do it again sometime soon!!!!! sorry for forgetting u're lactose intolerant like twice. but ya phoenix was super fun. hopefully this is the start of a new alliance!! i think this round i'm going to vote tim bcos i feel like it'll make f5 a lot more cruisier and less stressful for me than having to rely on lynn not flipping on me or anyone else not flipping on me. hopefully eric can win immunity again so we can vote out blake. it was rly weird talking about game with someone face to face? and like planning about it and stuff. idk thank u phoenix for the fun day out!! also I MADE F5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe i did that!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooh!!!
Eric K
I am so happy that I won two immunity challenges at once!! I chose the advantage hoping that this would be a good chance to take out Blake. Since I talked to Tara and Lynn about eventually cutting Blake out, I think this would be a good opportunity. I just hope he does not have some sort of advantage to screw this up...
Tim
So I lost the challenge and I'm not dissapointed in myself, Im just unhappy that I couldn't win the challenge when I most needed to. And now I'm in jeopardy.
Tim
So Eric pretty much nominated me and Blake up for elimination which sucks harddd. I guess I have new hope in the game. It sucks that he didn't just do Blake and Phoenix but I guess he considers us his biggest competition to win. 
Tim
So Ive been heavily campaigning to Tara and Eric but who knows how this will turn out. Hopefully Eric just lets me go to rocks.
Eric K
I am very frustrated that Tara is not willing to go for Blake. The things she's saying are making me think that she would rather keep Blake long term and is potentially just using me... Even with me voting Blake, the numbers wouldn't be there and I would be outing myself early on. I guess I just have to keep on winning immunity challenges and hope I am not being played.
Tara
omggg so the most awkward thign happened i tried to call tim bcos i felt rly bad that we hadn't talked all season and i genuinely rly like him n i just wanted to chat but he turned it into a plea session, idk why i didn't expect that, n then i just like waited it out until he stopped fkdfs and then he started talking 2 me about his day so yay but then he was like ok i'll go grab some food and i was like ok seeya tim sorry about everyhting n he was like so you are voting me? and i was like yaa i'm sorry and then it just got rly awkward and silent and he was just looking at his computer screen like looking like he was about to cry and it wasl ike FIFTEEN WHOLE SECONDS of like silence and oh my god. i am an awful person. i love u tim. i'm glad i voted him out bcos i don't rly trust eric all that much but it forces him to work w me now so he can vote out blake n lynn n then  i can hopefully take phoenix to f2 or convince eric to take me to f2. yayayyyay can u believe i'm here and i have a PLAN go me
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