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#ive done a lot of thinking and researching into gender
orcelito · 3 months
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Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.
Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.
I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...
On and on and on
You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.
That kind of thing.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like#into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it#read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT#so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol#so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences#but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general#so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)
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I love your headcanon's and one shots, if you get the chance could you possibly do some headcanon's with a gender neutral reader that has a smoking problem? Like reader always has a pack of smokes or a vape on them and they panic or get pissed off if they can't find their vape? Iv had this idea in the back of my mind for a few weeks
A Yautja with a smoker s/o
Request by @floffymoth
• This yautja has a lot of question, the first of which is: why?
Listen, they have seen a lot of different creatures. They are familiar with other culture's medicine and questionable rituals but...this just doesn't seem to help you??
At first they simply accepted that this is something you needed to survive, which was made apparent by how frantic you'd get whenever you'd misplaced your...stick. But the more they observed you the more they noticed how little it seemed to actually improve your quality of life. Hell they even saw you get coughing fits from it sometimes!
• The stick has to go!
They love you as you are. You know this. But now they also know, thanks to the intense research of yautja hoomanologists, that your life expectancy actually decreases through your little habit. So they're going to show you just how much they love you by helping you get rid of it!
Wh- no- so what if their life expectancy also dramatically decreases through fights to the death!? Thats totally different! You're hooman, you wouldn't get it! Besides, they're the strongest warrior of all so that doesnt affect them anyways. Mphf.
• The easy way
First they'll try to gently coax you into stopping by showing you all the studies done on it, because everybody listens to science right? Once they discover that reading an article will not eradicate an addiction, they'll try and lay home how it's affecting your general life instead.
Isn't it frustrating to be dependent on that thing? And what if you were stranded in the wilderness, trying to survive? The smell might attract foes! Well, yes, of course they'd be there to protect you. But still! Think about it!
• The hard way
And If all fails....they're a lot taller and stronger than you. It's not that difficult for them to block your physical access to the stuff.
Though, let's be honest. One pleading look and it's back in your hands.
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big-coyote · 2 months
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hi!! this may be a weird thing to ask about but ive decided to make one of my longtime ocs a coyote therian (they were connected to coyotes since the beginning) and i wanted to ask if theres stuff i should avoid when talking abt them or doing character design?
ive done some research on my own looking thru tumblr blogs ran by therians mostly, but i mightve missed some stuff!
for now they show their theriantophy as either wearing a coyote looking onesie (which is the first outfit they ever had) or when wearing other clothes they have a tail keychain on their trousers, so i also wanted to ask if you know of any other things they could have to connect with their theriotype?
again im sorry if this is a weird question! <3
(1/2) Hello! Not a weird question at all, I’m actually very honored and happy you’ve asked! I have quite a number of OCs myself that are also therians or otherkin adjacent lol. Also if anyone else has any ideas they’d like to add/advice feel free to comment or reblog!
As for things you should ovoid I’d recommend straying away from the idea of therianthropy being inherently because of mental illness. While it’s totally okay for your Oc to struggle with mental health problems or other serious topics. I often see the stigma online where people assume being nonhuman or having a alterhuman identity means the person in question must have Schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, psychosis, a delusional disorder, etc. And again while I know plenty of nonhumans who have those disorders (I have some of them) and that may effect their identities as a whole, it shouldn’t be the end all be all of their identity you know? Ovoid adding more stigma to both.
Another thing I’d stray away from is the idea of a character being a therian because of spirit animals or any mythology related to closed practices/groups. I’ve seen many indigenous people online speak about their discomfort with the word ‘spirit animal’ and how it’s been adopted into pop culture. Being alterhuman is much more then “I feel connected to this thing/this thing is just like me”, it runs much deeper then that and it is as much as a real identity as something like gender, sexuality, religion, etc. It should be taken with as much care and seriousness as those other identities because it is huge and important part to a lot of our lives.
Lastly I’d recommend avoiding making the character the butt end of the jokes. While the Oc themselves can be funny, have funny things happen to them or have funny experiences as a coyote Therian I’d ovoid making them the punching bag to other OCs. Online it’s not uncommon to see many people misunderstanding and mischaracterizing being nonhuman for a quick laugh. It be very disheartening if an OCs entire existence in a story is just “haha they think they’re a dog, that’s stupid”. Again it’s important to take any identity like being a Therian seriously instead of just being the punch line for a joke or gag.
As for the clothing I think the onesie would be incredibly cute and good to wear as well as the tail! Many therians wear tails, both real and faux fur ones, to feel connected to their identity and feel more comfortable. I’ve also known many therians who were things like jewelry with their theriotype on it, fake animal ears, t-shirts, rings, fur coats, earrings, pins/buttons, etc. Some also like collecting plushies or posters with their theriotype as well, or having stickers on their books or drawing them. Or if you’d prefer a more casual character design you could have a character who doesn’t wear any outward Therian gear and prefers to keep it low key. Both options are very valid and would be interesting to see!
But no matter what I’m sure your Oc is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see them! Please tag me if you make any art or stories about them, or if you have any other questions feel free to ask again or DM me!
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lvst4lifee · 7 months
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UPDATED PROFILE INTRODUCTION!
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"hell is a teenage girl"
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Blogger introduction PPL I WRITE FOR AT END!
name: i don't feel comfortable sharing my name so you can just refer to me as "C" l
ittle facts: leo, infp(i am insane), bi, metalhead, baby bat and getting into riot grrrl fasion and subcaulture, regulus black defender till i die, in love with rockstars dead and alive,she/her!
𖤐;--- likes: art, poetry, classic ligature, music, rock/metal, metallica, cat person forever 𓃠, my room, my cats, wrighting, online moots, my baby brother, my mom 🫀, horror, witchcraft, vintage pornography,
𖤐;--- Dislikes: people, people who bully people for being different, alt people who bully other alt ppl on fasion or makup as if they dont get bullied by others enough, posers, the plaid pants vaping in the girls washroom type, people who wear band tees that either dont know its a band or dont listen to the band at all, milk chocolate, meat, any fish but salmon, homaphobic/racist/sexiest/transphobic people, all men/boys exept for the od few in my family and hot roclstars and actors.
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𖤐socails𖤐
i use pintrest, spotify and tiktok. May one day put it here
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request : currently opened
NO!
things i will NOT be writing abt
kinks including, pet play, piss, scat etc
underage age/minor smut and/or minor x none minor
(im very sorry about this one and i somtimes will try to wright it. m/m. As a female with a female body it's hard to wright in male pov or about reader with male gentals. I somtimes will try my best if its nothing to crazy or i have extra time and am up to it but it is very difficult alltho i want everyone to be included BUT i can do a bit better on gender nutreal/ no pronoun use if i cant do male!
pedophilia ( i am not sorry about this)
any type of rape kink. If a reader specifically wants a angest metioning it to cope with their experience i can try but ive never done it before so im not sure how comfortable i'd be. understand that when im not comfortable with smth i can not wright it but i give my condolences.
none concent that isnt CNC
if you have a request that isn't included here let me know and i'll get back to u if it's smth i do or not but keep in mind i am comfortable with:
f/f ex: female reader x courtney love
smut
bdsm
just rlly kinky shit in general
angest
fluff
ect...
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finally the best part!! WHO I MANLY WRIGHT FOR
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🦇 K I R K H A M M E T T 🦇
☆ any era
☆ i wright for all of metallica but mainly kirk ngl
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G U N S N R O S E S
☆ Steven
☆ Izzy
☆ Axl
☆ Slash
☆ Duff
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M Ö T L E Y C R Ü E
☆ Tommy mostlt.. but any of them is fine!
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M E T A L L I C A
☆Cliff
☆Kirk
☆james
☆Lars
☆Jason
☆Rob
... lots more including
hole
nirvana
Rory clukin characters (we love a whimpering king)
rlly wtvr ur heart desires if i know it i will if not i'll do research and possibly do it!
please be a little specific when requsting
Ex: can you wright load kirk x fem reader smut where....
i'll do oneshots or headcannons so u can put little rants of what your thinking with the person
Ex: i cant stop thinking about early met kirk with...
(this is not edited and will probably continue to be updated)
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traegorn · 1 year
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hi! i want to be clear that i mean no disrespect in asking this. as someone who knows the history of wicca, how it was created in the 50s and has largely appropriated other pagan traditions etc, ive always wondered why people still find it compelling? in a more answerable format, why do you choose to be wiccan over a different pagan tradition that doesn't have that history as its baseline? i know theres no easy answer to this and the question likely sounds ruder than i mean it to. for context im part of two of the cultures wiccans have taken a huge chunk of practices from, as well as being trans (i know you are too which is why i mention it) and the extremely binary gendered "god and goddess", "divine feminine and masculine energy" stuff makes me uncomfortable. in researching, it seems like a lot of the cultural appropriation aspects of it were added by early practitioners in the 60s and 70s, but that still makes it deeply ingrained in the religion. i genuinely want to be more understanding and compassionate, and since you are pretty involved in the wiccan community specifically like answering questions and stuff i wanted your perspective. sorry if this is uncalled for in any way.
There's a lot here, and I don't necessarily agree with the way everything in the ask is framed (and I never like comments about "appropriation" without going into specifics because that can mean many things) -- but I can tell you're asking in good faith, so I'll do my best.
I'm not going to dig into my relationship with the god and goddess as a nonbinary Wiccan because I've answered it so many times before. I've done a whole podcast episode on it, so that's out there if you want to know what my feelings are on the topic. You're asking me how I found faith in a religion that's less than a century old though.
And the answer is... because it's what I believe in?
I mean, you're asking me to explain faith. My personal journey (which, uh, I've also gone into detail with in another podcast episode) was one where I started with what I believed in and found something that asked the question I already felt I'd answered? I don't know if that makes any sense.
It's never been about Wicca being ancient (though I certainly came up in an era where that was still a very common belief in the community), but what I found in it. We fetishize practices and traditions being ancient in a really unhealthy way. Something being older doesn't make it inherently more authentic or real, but time and time again people fall into this trap.
Early Wiccans fell face first into this one, and even though the truth eventually came to light about it, the rest of the neopagan community never really moved past it. Like how many "Celtic Shamans" are out there pretending they're doing something ancient still? To a lesser note, think about how many Norse Heathens don't admit a good chunk of what they practice is reconstruction.
You ask "Why do you choose to be wiccan over a different pagan tradition that doesn't have that history as its baseline?" And I ask, as a white Midwesterner with no cultural connection to those other traditions -- how would it be any better if I laid claim to those either? Not to mention that it's not what I believe. My conception of divinity isn't an outfit I can change. I can't just say "Okay, I believe in [X God]" the next day out of nowhere.
A person's faith isn't hot-swappable.
I don't know if I fully answered what you asked, but that's what I've got this random Monday morning.
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hopeless-eccentric · 1 year
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re: Éowyn, I think the OTHER problem is that patriarchy is inconsistent in Tolkien’s universe.
Númenor seems to have developed it as an institutional force independently (LaCE’s whole section about Noldorin gender roles indicates that even if the author is a bit sexist the elves don’t seem to be, even down to an absence of a requirement that marriage be heterosexual*, and Haleth and Andreth respond to some gendered pressures but they don’t seem to be systemic) but challenges it through the legalization of absolute primogeniture. Despite this, Gondor and Rohan have their own versions of patriarchal norms, in contrast to Harad and potentially to Umbar. The Shire is written as a land of benevolent sexism, and yet Merry never questions Éowyn’s capacity to murder things with a sword when he realizes he’s been riding with a woman. So we’re left with this nebulous thing that obviously exists and impacts the life of one of the most significant female characters in the text, but that also clearly exists in a way that’s different from our own modern conceptions of patriarchy as all-encompassing and global even as the author isn’t thinking too hard. I wonder if a more feminist LotR written with, say, input from Joy Davidman, would have featured the non-Gondorian Aragorn calling out the patriarchy, but that’s simply because Tolkien tends to do those sorts of things in response to criticism (see Gimli).
* LaCE-compliant elvish marriage being queer-friendly is sort of my personal soapbox, I apologize
ok, so ill admit we're starting to edge out of my area of (if you can call it that) expertise since ive done the most research on the real-world mythological/literary connections within the Men (celts and anglo-saxons specifically, lord above ive read so many eye-splitting middle english poems in the last few months), but i would love to hear more about the stuff with gimli, which i havent heard about before!
also for the sake of transparency im about 2/3 of the way through the silmarillion until my local library's hold comes in so im a bit new here
so something ive done a lot of reading/writing on myself is that patriarchy in rohan/gondor is very closely tied to war and "warrior culture," i.e. this concept that glory via violence should be celebrated above all else and the association of this idea with masculinity. this is more prevalent in rohan than gondor, but tolkien writes that that the presence of a budding warrior culture in gondor is some sort of "fall" from a more peaceful (and implicitly wiser) culture of the past, which very well could be a reference to a more Elvish, numenorean culture (if im reading your ask correctly in assuming that numenor's culture isnt quite as patriarchal as we see in later ages)
so the thing that gets complicated is that these ideals of peace, wisdom, the arts, intellectualism, etc over war are strongly gendered. in The Feminine Principle in Tolkien, Menalie Rawls (who also saved my ass on that paper god bless her) suggests that a lot of the aforementioned traits associated with this "better" (i.e. aligning more with tolkien's internal moral compass for the book) numenorean-refugee culture are strongly in the feminine category, while the warrior culture stuff sits in the masculine category
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so that leads to a bit of a weird point. i think a lot of patriarchy as we see it in lotr is related to this idea of the descendants of numenor falling away from their roots and becoming more hypermasculine (the thesis of Rawls's paper is essentially that tolkien's heroes are either expected to have an internal balance of gendered traits or an external one where they balance their gender expression with strong opposing forces to become their most heroic self, i.e. legolas and gimli, eowyn and faramir, varda and manwe, beren and luthien, etc) as opposed to their more balanced, and therefore, in the eyes of the book, "better" past. essentially, like the warrior-worship, patriarchy seems to be an adverse effect that centuries of war can have on a culture
the weird part of it is that i dont know if the whole fall from a golden age thing was supposed to include patriarchy as a symptom of societal decline or just had it coincidentally because tolkien personally associated femininity with peace. it feels like a bit of a chicken or the egg situation honestly
but, like most of tolkien scholarship, this all completely falls to pieces when you try to apply it to the hobbits. i would hazard a guess that the hobbits do a lot of weird shit that doesnt click with the rest of the world (i.e. golf, wristwatches, a mailman) because they're supposed to be the closest thing tolkien has to a normal english human reader in his worlds, so they probably dont have any views/cultural norms outside what someone in the rural england of his childhood would have. best i've got is a reason, but not an explanation
in certain pockets of the world, i think the culture of patriarchy is pretty well justified. however, i agree that there are some major inconsistencies. the hobbits, as per usual, break any theory you try to apply universally across the text. the crowning of aragorn, which is meant to represent gondor's rebuilding to its former glory, has very little to do with how women are treated (which does make me lean more towards the "patriarchy just came along with tolkien liking peace and not warrior culture while also gendering those two concepts" theory now that i think of it). if anything, femininity is treated better after aragorn's crowning (i.e. focus on healing, very gender-balanced king, rewarding small heroes, marrying an Elf, rewarding faramir, tree blooming again, so much celtic symbolism stuff i dont have time to get into but they were considered effeminate as well, etc). but that's how the concept of femininity is treated which is. yknow. different than actual living breathing women
so point is, 1) there's some insight onto why gender concepts look different among different cultures, especially with Men 2) hobbits confuse me
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thesilverlady · 1 year
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Unpopular opinion: i don't think that Aegon was a ra**t and an enjoyer of child fighting pits or abuses his wife in the book and i say this a someone who prefer Rhaenyra and team black in general. Helaena and Aegon shared a bed together+ Helaena was said to be a happy and joyful princess+ she has never said or hinted at anything that imply she is being abused like Naerys+ if Aegon ii is an abusive husband Grrm will not shy away from pointing that out, he has pointed out that Aegon iv , Aerys and Robert are shitty husbands.
Aegon was said to be creep with servants in his wedding day which is despicable but not in the same level as a serial p*edo rap**t like in the show. That's come directly from mushroom and he is known for lying alot+ was in dragonstone at that time. So for the showrunners to go with mushrooms testimony about aegon is just weird especially when they talk so much about how they want to portray everyone as grey and sympathetic but then they destroyed Daemon's complexity and "greyness" so who knows 🤷🏻
"please don't take this as an attempt to justify the greens i am just trying to be as objective as possible with them especially Aegon"
hi! first of all I also try to be objective with all the characters so don't worry, I complitely understand where you're coming from.
Let's break down a little bit about what you said about Aegon, shall we?
I definitely don't believe he was abusive the way the mad king was with his wife for instance (I've seen this comparison both from anti Aegon + ppl who ship Helaena with other characters). There isn't a single hint that Aegon was abusive or shitty with his wife. infidelity or indifference are not abusive characteristics and in the f&b they end up having 3 children, and as you said grrm doesn't shy away from mentioned how terrible soem marriages are. Both the marriage of Helaena/Aegon and Viserys/Alicent was fine.
I suppose, from another perspective, we could come up with the excuse that since jaehaerys had deformities and jaehaera was reported to be "slow" (+she was a girl) they could have been pushed to try for another "better" child, hence leading to Maelor.
But still, I simply cannot imagine book Aegon II to be raping, and beating his own sister. It's purely a fanon interpretation that lot of fans like going with for their own reasons.
Now, when it comes to him being generally a rapist with his servants/whores I'm very conflicted. Like you, i used to believe that it could be an exaggeration. Mashroom melodramatises everything, and the Septon - while he's technically team green in the story he's still a maester and an anti targaryen like all maesters are so it's not like he's more reliable by any means.
However, I've listenered many arguments from the other side (that does view him as a rapist) and they have some valid points; like him being told he occasionally harassed servants couldn't be a "one time" thing. Sure the word rape isn't used in the context (i suppose in modern terms SA is more appropriate) but who is to say he would only "touch" once and let go? He was a man in a position of power still.
You see, I started thinking about Aegon position's pre-war; he grew up with his mother and grandfather whispering about Rhaneyra who - as a woman - was made heir and was technically in the position that by misogynistic westerosi standards should have been his, his father showed more favoritism to his nephews (Viserys adored Aegon's children too but I imagine Alicent wouldn't point that out). While we're told he was "lazy" it's impossible to not imagine his pride and ego being hurt from being so very obviously casted aside as a firstborn son.
From a course I've done in gender studies, as well as personal research, studies show that rapists have some common characteristics such as:
- a lack of empathy - narcissism - feelings of hostility towards women
There are also several types of rapists:
- opportunistic rapist: who seizes any chance for sexual gratification, such as the loss of self-control on the part of their victim under the influence of alcohol. - sadistic rapist: whose motivation is to humiliate and degrade victims - vindictive rapist: who has anger and aggression focused directly toward women. Such a rapist believes he is permitted to sexually attack women because he feels he has been hurt, rejected or wronged by women in the past
and many more. So with that being said, I did change my mind and started viewing him as a rapist in the book.
Honestly, I think the bigger problem are the feelings of shame the fandom brings to people who continue to like characters like these. Perhaps, a part of myself had originally wanted to come up with reasons to view him as a non-rapist so I wouldn't feel guilty about finding him interesting. At some point I reminded myself that you can like the most angelic character and fandom space will find a way to insult you, so Aegon being a rapist shouldn't be a reason for you to be "forbidden" from liking him. He's not even the worst asoiaf character in terms of crimes. Some people are salty because of the growing fanbase - which I understand, because some stans are delusional.
Now in regards of him being a pedo, it's something I actually don't agree with. It's extremely disappointing how such terms are heavily thrown left & right without thinking of the context and worldbuilding of asoiaf-verse
The pedo accusation comes mainly from this part:
The Testimony of Mushroom claims Ser Criston found the young king-to-be drunk and naked in a Flea Bottom rat pat, where two guttersnipes (<-term for poor/homeless children) with filed teeth were biting and tearing at each other for his amusement whilst a girl who could not have been more than twelve pleasured his member with her mouth
I've seen the take that Aegon gets off from seeing kids fighting one another, but i just think this comes from someone who simply hates him to the core. He was there for entertainment, he was drunk, and had 0 care about being seen in sexual acts at a public place.
The fact that so many people have been surprised at the existence of the fighting pits is a bit shocking because in the books we see fighting pits in the Slaver Cities of Astapor, Meereen, and Yunkai. So it's nothing knew. Sure, the whole thing is disgusting but so are many other things in asoiaf verse so idk what people are expecting.
Now the bigger issue is the girl who we're told by mushroom she's 12 and gives Aegon a blowjob. As you mentioned mushroom is known to be lying and at the time he was in Dragonstone,so how could he even know?
In another ask, I mentioned how I don't side completely with either mashroom or the Septons because I believe the truth is most likely somewhere in the between.
Septon Eustace called what mashroom said an "ugly picture" but admitted that Aegon was in fact found with a "paramour" and he insisted she was a well cared daughter of a wealthy trader.
Now, Septon Eustace's bit is also rather... convenient, wouldn't you say? First of all he doesn't mention the girl's age, makes a reference to her wealth to make the situation seem better, which is very suspicious
As I said, my interpretation is somewhere in the between; maybe the girl could have been a simple daughter of a poor trader and Eustace added the "wealthy" part so the girl wouldn't be seen in a disadvantageous position. Maybe she was 14 or older and Mashroom reduced the number to make it more shocking and worth of gossiping etc
Of course one could say that even if that was the case, 14 is still a child. And to that, I have to remind everyone that while that's the case for our world, asoiaf has more gray areas. Here it's mentioned how technically coming of age is 16,but we've seen many cases both in f&b and in asoiaf of girls having ahd their period much sooner and getting married/having children because of it. So, if that girl had "bloomed" by westerosi standards then she was technically "of age"
As for the show portrayal, I honestly cannot understand what they had in mind with Aegon, because on the one hand they portrayed him as whiny & depressed, abused by Alicent and Otto and ignored by Viserys - which of course makes the audience sympathizes and then they turn it around and he's suddenly a shitty husband according to Helaena and a rapist who his mother covers for.
To me it seems like they couldn't make up with their minds about how his character should be because while you can convey sympathy for a terrible character (perfect example is Viserys, Daenery's brother) it seemed like they couldn't find the connection between the two to make a proper image of him.
As for Daemon I agree with you they destroyed his complexity and made him a piece of crap whose sole focus is his brother and his niece, but I gotta say, while I know the showrunners have mentioned they want to "portray everyone as grey and sympathetic" in the show, i think their result is more "men are evil and women are victims" because they suck big time at writing and have misunderstood completely the themes from f&b
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surplus-of-sarcasm · 6 months
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ive tried to write women so many times but have failed to the point theres barely any female characters in my stories. and im very aware this is a flaw in my writing because i dont hang around women often and the only long term contact with a female i have is with my family members i dont know how to write female characters on a personal level because i can never relate to them. this sucks ass but correct me if im wrong i think its better to not write female characters at all than write a shitty possibly offensive one even if i dont realize it
Hi.
Okay, here's my take on what you're saying. I know for a fact that the most difficult things to write are things/situations/environments we know so little about. And it's even harder to get it right when it's a more sensitive thing, if yk what I mean. A huge perspective shift like this is definitely a challenge because men and women are quite different.
Here's the thing. I'm not trying to pressure you into writing them, but I'm telling you that even if you have problems with them now, doesn't mean you have to give up on writing them completely. If not writing them at all is your final decision, then that's still okay, still your call in the end, but if you do want to write them, it's very possible.
I know I write both male and female characters, but the first time I ever officially wrote smth that wasn't for school, it was with a female protag because ultimately, I see the world from the eyes of a woman. When I decided to write a male character for a more serious project, I realised I needed to research it. And lemme tell you that again, not every piece of advice in a writing help article is always applicable. It's largely based on the author's own personal experiences. They're more like tips than rules you must adhere to.
Please note that I've spent considerable time around men I'm close to in my family, I had male classmates and currently have a friend who's a guy, so that definitely helps. And it's completely understandable that you haven't spent enough time around women to grasp more about them Ig. My male characters are not exactly copy-paste of these men/boys either, but some of their traits and mannerisms may be connected.
And you not relating to them is completely okay. I'm not very likely to relate to parts of my male character's life that come with him being a man, but what I can relate to is what makes him human. There is definitely an overlap in several traits between men and women. For example, the way I would feel angry abt smth would be different from how a guy Ik would feel angry about the same thing. The key is simply to avoid bad cliches.
Again, I'm not trying to get you to write them if you really don't want to. Forcing yourself to write smth you don't want to definitely won't help, and won't create good pieces of writing. But just in case you wish to in the future, you can practice and research and test it out, and fun fact, part of it involves a little bit of winging it. I've done this for like genres/ideas I haven't tried before, and surprisingly it actually works. But, tbf, it's a lot more difficult when the issue at hand is the opposite gender.
And answering your last question, while it doesn't mean you must give up completely and you will never be able to do it, I can agree that no representation is better than a poorly represented character. Though, there is a chance you might be too harsh on yourself, since Idk exactly what any female characters you've written are like.
And about my reblog on that post abt writing women, Ig it was more aimed at people who've never tried or misrepresent women by applying a crap ton of harmful stereotypes to them. You seem to have made a genuine effort, so that's a pretty good thing.
Sorry for the long post, and thank you for the ask.
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pespillo · 1 year
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i know i just reblogged a tumblr field guide and all but i need to tell you things that ive learned in my 11 years here:
popularity does exist in tumblr but its not guided by how many followers you have it is based on the amount of asks you probably get and the metric of it is that youll get some insane asks in here if you Just Wait, from invasive questions to people asking you what do you think of the death penalty in america when you have a blog about My Hero Academia , to bait questions or copypastas that been passed for half a decade about an user called Amegaotaku that youll have to research to even understand what the hell it means . "Popular" people of tumblr can remake their blogs constantly but what matters is that you have people who Wont Shut Up and engage conversation with you, especially through asks, when people want your attention, theyll probably send you an ask.
this doesnt happen as often as it did in the mid 2010s but embarassing yourselves in public is incredibly easy in this site if you Throw Yourself to the wolves, as in , you impulsively add onto a conversation with an addition thats often done emotionally, carelessly, or literally misinterpreting the intent of a post itself because you took it personally. this literally never goes well especially if you engaged with a post from an user who has Very reactive followers, because while i doubt youll get threats or such, youll still probably get hounded in the replies and this site´s social rules are extremely lax with the words you are allowed to say. While a whole "we need to be kind to eachother" approach IS the reasonable solution, it is much better to not engage with innocous posts that piss you off if you are aware that the average tumblr user doesnt have any tact whatsoever and is bloodthirsty for a punching bag, they are mostly teens after all, and adults that dont have positive social role models. Screenshot the post that pisses you off and talk about it in your own new post to discuss it with your actual fellow people.
if youre gonna be interested in interacting with posts relating to race, politics, gender or such, be expected to at least list your race and gender (or whether youre exempt from transmisogyny or not) , encroaching into intracommunity issues and trying to add or say anything when its none of your business or you literally dont know what it entails is not wise. also posts and listings about how to "listen to (insert marginalized group)! " from teenagers are really unneded here because theres already so many in depth resource posts in here made by qualified activists, historians, researchers and more, and they been shared for years, or twitter/instagram posts have been literally just regurgitating stuff from HERE. NOTE: i reccomend making sideblogs for this stuff, NOT DISCOURSE BLOGS but just sideblogs where youre not just mixing Supernatural posting and Protest Bills for 2023 , or better, keep all your political talk and engagement in your main blog and use a sideblog for fandom, if you get enough followers in any of these your reach for important posts can be bigger, thats why i reblog donation posts or commission posts in here at times.
A lot of posts abt Tumblr Etiquette or whatever will tell you that you need to engage constantly and all and make your own posts and tag everything or else youll be treated as a Bot, but you dont really, when i joined tumblr in 2012 i lurked for 3 years and just reblogged posts without much mind or even posting much, but there was no expectation of me to do anything than to just look around , and its fine, i think if i said anything thru my early teens it would have been a disaster considering how much my late teens were, it would have made it worse, you dont need to say anything if you dont wanna, you dont need to form any sort of persona here or talk to people if its not your thing and youre young or not , maybe you wanna learn the ropes first and learn "the culture" before diving in, maybe you just like to observe what happens without having to participate, whatever it is this site is just what you make of it.
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intersex-support · 2 years
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hi! im sure you get sick of getting this but i need some help as im questioning intersex after many years and lots of research. specifically im question if i have swcah. ive had pots symptoms for as long as i can accurately recall and am close to constantly in some level of adrenal fatigue, im always craving salt and having electrolyte imbalances as well as feeling dehydrayed easily and having awful circulation.
physically, i had a lot of early growth spurts and was one of my tallest classmates, but now as an adult im barely average, about as tall as my dad who is kind of short for his circumstances. ive been growing facial hair since middle school, and now that i identify as some? flavor of trans masc? almost everyone ive met in recent years asks me how long ive been on T, based on my voice and amount of face and body hair. ive never in my life had access to T, i havent started it, and people are genuinely shocked by it.
[possibly tmi trying to be medical]
i also absolutely have clitoromegaly, thats another reason partners as well have asked before if i have been on T, as well even growing up and before i had any concept of what intersex conditions were, i knew there was something off there and i would awkwardly (like a very small child) tell people i *actually* had, um, "both" when i was gendered as a kid, until i got told by my parents to stop because i was wrong.
final thing probably: i had to get a full physical at 11, including genital physical, and there was a point that my mother was pulled aside and whispered something that she never told me no matter how much i asked. ive been growing increasingly worried lately that it was related to an intersex condition in someway, even if not using those terms, but since im no contact i cant ask now. sorry, i know that one is anecdotal, so feel free to ignore it.
i just want to know why i am the way i am
hi! again! i forgot to mention that i started puberty around 10-11 and ive never had a very normal cycle, sometimes it would be almost normal for a few months then i would go months without anything again, and eventually a really short but really intense, painful, heavy cycle after so long of nothing, its always been like this for me. 2/2
Hey anon!
So, I've done some research to answer this question but I am not an expert on salt wasting CAH and def would reccomend checking things with a doctor if possible. It defintely sounds like you have a lot of symptoms of CAH. Having clitoromegaly, growth spurts but now mostly average, having body hair, the irregular periods--all of those things really stand out to me as symptoms of CAH, and also especially the doctor keeping something secret from you, cause that happens to so many intersex kids.
What I'm less certain about is if you could have gone this far into life without being diagnosed with salt wasting CAH. I know that newborn screening for salt wasting CAH started in the 1980s, but I entirely believe it's possible that it could have been missed, or wherever you were born didn't screen you, or something like that. My understanding, however, is that salt wasting CAH is life threatening if not treated and I'm wondering if it is possible that you could have gotten into adulthood without ever going into adrenal crisis. From everything I've read, it seems like salt wasting CAH is usually diagnosed in childhood because people with salt wasting CAH will go into adrenal crisis without treatment. Honestly, the only way I really think that you could have salt wasting CAH is if you had gone into a salt wasting crisis while you were a newborn but it was treated, and it was hidden from you. It sounds like there's a complicated relationship with your mother and already a pattern of hiding some medical info from you, so I suppose it could be possible that it happened but the info is not in your medical records. Have you ever been on hydrocortisone, prednisone, or dexamethasone long term, as well fludrocortisone? I'd say only if you have been on those medicines long term and had salt wasting crises, that you could possible have salt wasting CAH.
However, what I think is more likely is that you have a variation of CAH that is not salt wasing and also not NCAH. My first guess would be that you have simple virilizing CAH, which is still considered "classical CAH" but is without salt wasting crises. With SV CAH, people usually have a less severe aldosterone deficiency. This means that you might still have symptoms like hyponatremia (low sodium), hyperkalemia (high potassium), hypoglycemia, dehydration, and could also maybe even cause your poor circulation. Usually, this doesn't progress to the point of salt wasting crisis and is more mild than swCAH, but is generally more severe than NCAH. Besides sv classical CAH, there are also rare forms of CAH caused by defienciencies in other enzymes, which have a wide variety in presentations of symptoms.
Another thing that I just learned about is CAH X, which is a variation of CAH that's comorbid with EDS. If you also have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, it might be worth looking into. With CAH X, there's a specific genetic cause that causes EDS, CAH, and most people are also comorbid with POTS.
Also, there is a chance that you could just have more severe symptoms of NCAH. I just read a study that says 1/3 of people with NCAH have a cortisol insufficency. Cortisol insufficency can also cause weakness, fatigue, dizziness, electrolyte imbalance, low sodium--so there may be a chance that you have NCAH and a more severe cortisol insufficency. Anecdotally, a lot of people with NCAH have POTS comorbid (I do as well!) and there really hasn't been a lot of research on NCAH and POTS. It looks like there might be more of a connection between NCAH and adrenal insufficency then previously thought, but there isn't a lot of research done on NCAH. I read another study talking about how a lot of research papers do not specify whether they include NCAH in their numbers of people with CAH.
Basically, I think that it is unlikely that you've made it to adulthood without getting diagnosed with salt wasting CAH, because salt wasting CAH is basically life threatening if untreated. It is more likely that you have classical simple virilization CAH, a rarer subtype of CAH, or NCAH with severe symptoms.
Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions, and good luck!
-Mod E
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villanevehaus · 7 months
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This may seem like a nonsensical question saying you have thousands of words of prose written publicly but just out of curiosity I was wondering if you prefer to write poetry or prose and which one you enjoy reading more? Consider memoir and nonfictional creative essays/whatever else similar to that as prose too just for the sake of simplicity.
not nonsensical! this is a very neat question and i hope my overly long answer makes sense.
for writing: i think i prefer to write whatever i feel like is more appropriate for the story im trying to tell, 'story' referring less to a narrative but what I'm trying to get out of myself and/or tell the reader. i love writing essays when i want to expand on a central thesis, do research, and prove my knowledge- every time i write an essay for a class i am hitting the word limit rather than the word minimum.
i do write poetry that i tend to not publish (that might change tho!) because what i write about is very very very intimately influenced by my personhood; ive written about my mum's passing, grief, my sexuality and gender, self harm, mental health, etc. it's not so much that it's "private information", but it's much more vulnerable for me to share than prose, which may include elements of that (ie, eve's therapy and vil's therapy talk in TME is detailed bc i have done lots of therapy; the butchfemme aspects of thin walls are there bc i am butch) but it's gussied up in another narrative, it's not the focal piece. my poems about grief or gender or what have you are about the subject at hand, not just themed. poems strike, prose grows.
for reading: i think i have more experience in reading prose, but i tend to realllllly go for poetic prose? i bring this up virtually every single time i talk about what influences my writing/reading but written on the body by jeanette winterson is the perfect example of what i mean. the narrative is fairly simple: our protagonist (given no name or gender) has a complex affair with a married woman, told while reflecting on past lovers and relationships- but the way it's delivered is unlike anything else I've ever read. there are no discernable chapters, there are occasional formatting breaks into stage direction, it's rich with imagery- when the protagonist learns that their lover is sick, there is an entire segment of detailed anatomical studies that devolve into personal anguish about how that anatomy will be changed, or has changed, or is changing, or how they wish they could take on their lover's changes if only she were to remain healthy and well. it's really difficult for me to describe, in all honesty, without dumping quotation after quotation right from the source. instead, i will just show you the first section:
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one of the anatomical pieces:
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and one of my absolute pieces of writing:
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other examples i pretty much always bring up for similar reasons are annihilation by jeff vandermeer and sharp objects by gillian flynn. naomi alderman's disobedience also comes to mind.
but i also read other stuff, obviously!
some nonfiction/autobiographical/memoir-adjacent works i love are the glass castle by jeanette walls, a walk in the woods by bill bryson, the memory illusion by dr. julia shaw.
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possessionisamyth · 1 year
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things i need to unpack
-the gender thing
I remember bringing up the possibility of talking T to a sister in university to which she immediately dissauded me saying i didn't need it and shouldn't do that, no idea what her intentions were or if she was trying to be supportive but i guilted that idea out of me by doing research and convincing myself its not worth the effort, i still dont know if i think its worth the effort or not, but i do need to sort through this
i also remember discovering the term androgynous and running with it only for a group of well meaning friends to further prod me on the definition as if that weren't enough (this was during the time where a bunch of lgbt terms were being brought back into the normal language while others where being created) so I don't blame them but it did kinda make me hate labels if mentioning one meant id be asked to constantly elaborate
-the sexuality thing
I floated between a lot of labels as i was learning them, the first one being bisexual since in highschool there was only gay straight or bi, and a lot of queer online discussion changed between me graduating high school and me leaving university
did latch onto the term "demisexual" when it dropped because it felt like me, but was questioned again when trying to explain it and was told "isnt that just what everyone does?" didn't take this response as maybe they were on the same wavelength and proceeded to have the most uncomfortable and irritated relationship with the concept of asexuality ever since, resorted to sorting myself into simply having a low sex drive and maybe not having met the right person yet, didn't help that the people i was dating or interested in at the time were all some level of shitty or uncommunicative sometimes with the bonus of expectations on me I couldn't meet
realizing now that ive guilted myself out of the idea and it just mixed in with my weird and fluctuating relationship with my body making me feel justified for being a dick
-other thoughts
Also realizing now my people pleasing habits, desire to not be a burden on anyone, and letting my own feelings be ignored or bottled up for the sake of other people's comforts did just as much hindrance for my personal journey as learning all the new information helped said journey
i lashed out at people i shouldn't have, over stepped boundaries i didn't comprehend, and came off all wrong when i was learning to set my own boundaries and trying to hate myself less, there were a lot of pivots trying to curb that self hatred, some better than others, others that resulted in me having to navigate around these coping methods i no longer need and no longer help me
I think i do have a lot of unspoken anxiety about whether im allowed to be angry or sad or upset about myself and my relationships because there have been many times where i try to voice those feelings and I'm told I shouldn't respond that way, and ive unfortunately done the same to others, and i think i do need to let myself sit in my bad moods so i can actually process them instead of trying to constantly shove it to the back of my mind and pretend it isnt there
and i can recognize ive said things that have hurt people or made them upset because of all of this shit ive listed and i cant go back and fix most of it because my running into those people are very slim and thats just the nature of life
But, i think to really sort of heal I'll need to start saying whats for me and that what i say is enough
So I think i am demisexual and androgynous nonbinary and I think if i ever want to start taking T that'll be my decision and no one elses and i still have to unpack the baggage and the guilt but i can keep moving forward, and if those labels change than thats good too and it wont be because someone else made me feel bad directly or by accident for making a decision
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stuckintar · 2 years
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I'm so sorry but WTF HAPPENED AT THE FILM FESTIVAL??????
so basically i went to this film festival that was more of a competition with a prize and all that. The directors' mission was to make a film about the gender inequality/ violence/ hardships that women face especially in my community.
I was invited along with my friends because we worked on one of the films (dont even get me started on that), anyways so we were there to support our director so we had to stay till the end of the event so we can vote. I made the MISTAKE of staying till the end and watched 35 mins OF PURE VIOLENCE.
The film was called "Elham", which means 'inspiration' in arabic, the main character being a 24 year old girl with down's syndrome called Elham. The film continues with bringing up disturbing issues such as being raped by her uncle thats 'taking care of her' 4 TIMES. And this uncle tries convincing her father to either sell or rent her uterus because 1: her periods are very bad and she becomes "unbearable" during that. 2: in case someone rapes her (which is alluded to have happened several times before) they wouldnt have to deal with the consequences. We see ALOT of violence inflicted on her by her family and the people around her even though their neighbor "mona" tries to get her proper care. The film ends with the parents selling Elham's uterus resulting in lots of bleeding and her uncle and uncle's friend raping her for the last time before she dies.
There isnt a closure to the film where the neighbor 'Mona' goes on instagram and cancels the uncle. Literally twitter definition 'cancles'.
The film isnt just bad story-wise, it lacks any structure, it jumbled between issues with no specific theme to work on, it was made like a news report, like there was a whole interview with someone that was made like an advertisement. The film, and i cant stress this ENOUGH, was pity porn.
And btw, while we were sitting watching Elham get abused in flat light, the girl playing Elham was there. And after the film ended they got her up on stage and started clapping for her.
My friemds and i where veryy disturbed by this whole thing. I had to distract myself from a panic attack with a cookie recipe on my phone. After the show we had the chance to ask the directors a few questions, i asked the director of "Elham" whether she thinks she handled the issue in hand the right way; i also told her that she focused alot on the uterus to a hurtful extent especially since to the men in our society women are seen as baby factories.
In response to my first question she said that she DID handle it right because she did "research", and in response to my 2nd question she didnt really say anything that counts and then she ended it with "the uterus is for women".
The film won because the director got A LOT of people to vote for her. There was a film about dealing with generational trauma that was done so beautifully and didnt depend on hurting its audience that deserved to win.
Im sorry if i went on for too long but this is THE worst film ive ever seen and it deserves to be dragged to hell.
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hey maybe you should delete that one gender animal post. associating animals with gender is generally exclusive to indigenous peoples... as a white person it doesn't look too good.
i think i know who you are since i saw some tags on that post from a white person, which was then reblogged by another white person.
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ive done research on indigenous gender identities, particularly two-spirit, and the only source ive been able to find on its relation to animals was the gender fandom wiki (which does not have a source, as well as the article on two-spirit people being incredibly short). everything else ive read makes no mention of two-spirit people being related to animals, nor spirit/totem animals being related to gender.
i made the post bc i noticed a lot of trans ppl in general like to call themselves stuff like "catgirls/dogboys/mousegirls/ratboys" etc and thought it was interesting how many ppl in the community relate an animal to their gender. and while im pretty sure there is a difference between a trans person calling themself a catboy and indigenous peoples animal related practices, i am white, so i may be entirely wrong.
seeing as you admit to being white, i honestly think as another white person that this kind of comes off as white saviorism. im white too, so its neither of our places to speak on indigenous issues and act like we know definitively what is and isnt culturally insensitive. if any indigenous people do have issues with the post, then i will certainly delete it. but if you are white, i recommend not speaking on behalf of indigenous people unless they have given you permission or you are passing on a message. non-indigenous people cannot claim to be fully educated on indigenous culture; that includes you and me.
thank you for reaching out to me about this but i would honestly appreciate feedback more from actual indigenous people.
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razzleberryjam · 3 years
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If you dont have the level of intelligence to comprehend that arbitrary social concepts made up and defined by humans have multiple fluctuating definitions that vary by culture and could potentially cease to exist in their conceptual forms as we understand them if the entire human race agreed to do so, don't fucking pretend like the people who do are the idiots because you can't understand it. If you dont understand it, but you aren't toxic about it and you just let people live their lives, amazing, youre doing great im proud of you. And if you're trans/nb/agender, I love you, I understand, and im proud of you for doing your best even if you dont fully understand it yourself. Pop the fuck off y'all.
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok. i have written 3.5 pages out of 10 minimum but have done no research. i need to change the entire angle of my paper i think so ummmmm not to ask this but can you guys help me brainstorm a new topic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
#the premise of this paper is that we have to write abt a story in our family that we’ve always wanted to know more abt and come up w a broad#thesis on like the general topic using our family story as an example. i wanted to do stuff w my moms side of the family but my dads side of#the family are like genealogy nuts and also my great grandma and my grandpa both wrote autobiographies so i have a lot to work w there. basi#cally the thing i picked to like examine more is why my grandpa grew up w/o his dad in his life and it’s bc his dad cheated on his mom (my g#great grandparents) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 during the Great Depression bc he had to take a job in another state and he lived there during the work week#and then came home to his family on weekends but he was cheating on her lol. not a very fun topic at all and i regret every single decision#ive ever made but ermmmmmm. so the broad historical thing i was gonna examine was how different families had different experiences of the gt#Great Depression based on things like divorce and stff but also race gender class location etc… but that is super broad but also ive done a#lot of very broad research for this paper and it sucks to throw it away but i don’t think i can write something so broad i think it has to b#be narrower. so I’m thinking of looking at like how single parent families navigated the depression but then like what are the factors im#looking at and what’s the context yk… bc you could do an entire paper abt race or class or ability or like city vs suburbs or whatever but#idk which to pick or if that should even be my approach. but i need to know so i can hit the ground running at 10:30 and write 6.5 more#research heavy pages at 10:30 (13.5 hrs left before the deadline) and make myself fucking explode#purrs
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