#ive hurt myself

[copias-juicebox]

Copia at the Beach, on his well deserved break from Toruring for half a year. 🥰❤️‍🔥

#at least i HOPE he is just chilling on the beach #because if i find out that tutti is keeping him chained up in his cellar i'll personally free him and take him home #so i have to manipulate myself now. he's alright and having a good time #i miss him so terribly much it hurts #tobias forge #ghost band #papa emeritus #ghost sweden #ghesties #the band ghost #myedit #copia #ghost #papa emeritus iv #ghost bc #chapters

[spillsways]

spillways really is THAT song for me. like the whole “fuck forgiveness let yourself be bitter and you’re allowed to feel that way AND it’s okay to be angry and even though you try to bury that shit deep inside of you and move on IT’S OKAY TO LET IT OUT and be PISSED” vibe of the song hits directly home. that shit really does just resonate so much with my trauma

#at least that’s how i interpret the song for myself #i could be wrong but idk #it hits me right in the mommy and daddy issues #bc i try so hard to be the bigger person even though they’ve hurt me and traumatized me in indescribable ways #and that anger and utter resentment will never leave my soul #but i will never ever forgive them #and i’m okay with that #bc fuck forgiving your abusers to ‘move on’ #i don’t play that game #sometimes you can’t forgive people for the things they’ve done #even your family #bayli rambles #the band ghost #ghost #spillways #papa emeritus iv #copia

[abtheb]

Haven't flexed for the internet in a while.

#me #i dont really like my new gym but i guess i dont really have a choice and its only for the next 8 months #i have to be considerate about balancing gym and art/school so i dont end up overexerting and injuring myself #ngl i was fantasizing about bulking up again to recover the 20ish lbs ive lost this year from injury and burnout #but i think its for the best to keep things where they are so i dont push myself too hard and hurt my joints again #i need to focus on art/school more than anything else since my life and future depend on it and i cant afford to fuck it up

[simmyfrobby]

Bruce Bennett I Getty Images

#okay last flower post i promise its just that i getty-imaged too hard and now ive hurt myself #look at him hes TINY #sweet petite cannæ be beat #im in physical pain about it #marc andre fleury #pittsburgh penguins

[chrisbangs]

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #skz #createskz #cb97net #*gifs #*m #flashing tw #ik its so much flashing but #I COULDNT CONTROL MYSELF :(((((((((((( #LOOK AT BABU.. #LOOK AT HIM??? #LOOK AT HOW PERFECT AND CUTE AND WONDERFUL #my heart is his #ive literally come to the conclusion that my heart just belongs to him #im so sad #i love him so fuckin g much #it hurts oh my god im gonna cry

[rabbit-hearted-girl]

Tell me why my current hiper fixation is batfam fics where Tim feels like he doesn't belong. The angst, the hurt, the anguish of feeling like a stranger in the nest... Absolutely heartbreaking and my new favorite genre of fanfic

#Tim is going through the horrors #and i feel like my obsession with this trope might say something about myself #i also love peter Parker fics like this #its got be hurt/comfort though #my heart wouldn't survive otherwise #anyways ive read a lot of fics in the last two days #but if anyone has recs feel free to tell me #batfam #tim drake #red robin #batman #dc comics #bruce wayne

[but-how-do-you-drive]

i *need* to stop automatically and quickly saying "it's okay" when someone apologizes or "i'm fine/okay" when someone asks what's wrong all because somehow i feel like i'd be burdening them if i responded with how i actually feel???? this needs to change

#i feel as if all my life ive just trained myself to be the smallest burden possible #like somehow i can help keep the peace if i dont voice my needs/wants/hurts and just keep them to myself #lord knows my childhood was mostly just trying to keep the peace #i am such a messed up person #and im realizing i dont know the half of how messed up i really am #pipe down carlee

[hellomagicalsouls]

i had a dream about Klaus and Five fighting then five brought up Klaus being a junkie and thennnnn

Klaus brought up how Five is the reason every bad thing has happened to him. five LITERALLY did it to himself.

nobody pushed him out the door to go attempt to jump into the future infact everyone tried to stop him because they called after him.

five literally made his life the way it is because he's a stubborn bitch who thought he knew better

i woke up @ 4am after this dream and haven't slept since

also he called Klaus a junkie who has no idea what it's like being alone but Klaus literally was on the streets for like 12 years so he probably understands better than anyone

cause five and Klaus both probably had no food and had to eat out of dumpsters and do things they absolutely didn't want to do in order to survive

dream verse has it out for me honestly

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #why do i actually do this to myself #ive been awake for 18 hours over this #im gonna fail uni at this point #my brain needs to stop cause its getting personal now #like slow down babe wait til we're awake to hurt #we're adults its what we do #five and Klaus love eachother #because they are eachother #both addicted to something that's gonna kill them if they dont stop it #im doing it again #okay bye love you #the scene where five called klaus a junkie hurt me lots incase you couldn't tell #its the word junkie its so harsh makes me sad #umbrella academy klaus #tua klaus #umbrella academy five #tua five

[redrobin-detective]

So watching the newest Spy x Family, I see everyone squealing over Uncle Franky (don’t get me wrong I am too) but I also think his outsider’s perspective is kind of sad. When Anya is waiting for Yor and Loid to get home, the line he says there struck me.

“Hey, do you like your mom and dad?”

Like that’s a weird question to ask a young child who, hopefully, should love their parents. But Franky I think is acutely aware that they aren’t Anya’s real parents and the Forger family is fake. Franky has worked with Twilight for years, knows him very well and has presumably seen him make and drop identities like one would an article of clothes. We’ve even had Franky directly accusing Loid of being too clinical, focusing only the mission. I think Franky believes that once Operation Strix is completed, that he’ll leave and Anya and move on to the next assignment.

 I think that idea has colored a lot of Franky’s interactions with Anya. Yes, he’s also a big kid and wants to run around and be silly. But I also believe he’s trying to give this girl a sense of happiness and family presumably before she’s dropped off at the nearest orphanage once her usefulness is outlived. Like we all know Loid is catching feels but he’s a Good Actor and it might not be readily apparent to his coworker. Idk it must be so sad for Franky to watch this little family interact, to sweep up a child so clearly desperate for love and family in a spy operation, only to realize it won’t last.

#spy x family #sorry didn't mean to throw angst into the sweet pile that was todays episode #but im gonna be real this isn't my first time Ive had this thought about Franky #We've seen him accuse Loid of being callous - albiet in a usual comedic manner #but Franky absolutely knows how good Loid is at pretending to others to get what he wants then disappearing #Yor probably would be okay like very upset for sure but she's a grown adult she can handle it #Anya is a young child who has probably never had such loving interactions before #Anyone can see how devoted she is to her folks #and Uncle Franky is watching all this like seeing someone standing on a rug not knowing it can pulled out any second #I do feel that adds a bit to his own playful relationship with Anya #make the hurt sting less #anyway i'll see myself out

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[bittsandpieces]

Sometimes I get stuck in this very specific rut of executive dysfunction, and I know for a fact that having a caretaker dom who would help talk me through my tasks on bad days would be lifechanging for me. But instead I have no dom and just this stupid ass developmental disability that makes me periodically unable to function like a real human being

#i need a caretaker dom so bad sometimes it hurts. idk #see i do fantastic at work because i have Assigned Tasks and thats basically the same thing as someone telling me what to do #but when im having a depressive swing and it comes to things i need to do for myself? well. #ive eaten an eggo waffle and an orange today. ive been trying to shower for three days. #i managed two loads of laundry today but they havent been folded and i truly dont know if i can do it #anyway everyone be nice to me about this or it will be ableist

[surreal-duck]

wanted to redraw their 7th anniversary homescreen before the next anni comes along o7

#duck scribbles #midori takamine #yuzuru fushimi #enstars #only now i noticed that their little accompanying logos r the mascot doodle in midori's autograph and a pen for yuzuru bc he likes drawing #thats fecking adorable what the heck #ensemble stars #midoyuzu #yuzumido #i dont play jp so i dont actually get to see it when playing myself but. it means everything to me #also you should totally zoom in to see random details i added. or not. up to you #this is actually a cropped ver the full thing is for a new phone wallpaper for myself whkjdsjkghkjdsg #i wouldve finished this yesterday if i didnt catch an absolutely horrid fever in the middle of my studio shift!!! #but rly this is the first time in a long while ive enjoyed working on smth so much its nice to be back into the swing of things #even if its a bit slow im!!! gonna like art again i hope #man my throat hurts and everythings cold and i think my head is getting warm again oops #feeling feverish on top of shark week Really sucks dang it #oh and another thing doing this has me considering making a mdyz zine sometime #just like. for myself maybe idk but it sounds like itd be somewhat fun #i already look through their tags on three different sites this one included on a regular basis only to see the same things most of the time #so why not!!!! new passion project why the hell not #highly doubt anyone would be particularly interested in that though LOL

[r0b0t1me]

local 5 year old accidentally breaks hand trying to impress his cool ninja uncle more at 11

#my art #rottmnt movie #bad future #if you want context for the first bit #go look at my timeline boy #*bops you upside the head* #ive been drawing non stop for days. my head hurts #tomorrow im giving myself a break.. by animating instead lololol

[omatoxin]

good life, being a samyang girl<3 (redo of an old drawin)

#fun fact i drew the original 2 years ago and now i cant eat samyang because it hurts my tummy<3 #ive been v unmotivated by all the ai stuff rn so its been hard to drag anything creative out of me #it might be redo's 4 a while whilst i try to convince myself art is still worth it #digital art #art #digital drawing #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital aritst #artist #omatoxin #samyang #oc #pink

[u3pxx]

ohhh BABY you know what time it is! yes indeed mister it's time to cringe at past mistakes! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#ough oh baby den you were such a hurt lil dumdum dfgdhjddgf #ive gotten better at not beating myself for stuff like this tho. no longer “*im unforgivable and a garbage person*” WHEEZES #sunnysiderambles

[oatbugs]

the urge to self sabotage bc it would be easier. BUT I WONT DO IT!! I NEED TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN DO THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR ME!

#i have a history of like. wanting to take the hard path and when its Actually Hard instead of #going thru w it i just like...dont do anything. usually i become anxious to the point of illness etc etc #but rn its like...i cannot fuck this up fr i rly have to at least try !! ive been given a good thing i have to at least . try. #i need to be nicer to my future self they are just as much a person as any of my friends that id go out of my way for #by that point we may so different from each other that all the bad things i do that harm my future arent just harming MY future #but also someone distinct from me in many ways. yk. like who are u hurting ? they (future u) may be a stranger at that point #with how much things change. do you have a right to rob them of potential health and happiness? #im not trying to play around w counterfactuals i just need to be kind. i just need to be kind even if its myself. #lets see.