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lovesaadiqa · 10 months

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the unthethered soul

this book is one that keeps on giving or growing me i should say. my second time reading it helped me realized the different spaces i was in before and now. i seldom go back and read my entries, its kinda of cringe for me especially when i don't see in growth from one post to another, stagnation makes me sad. anyway i cried alot the first time i read this book and this time im highlighting like hell. just to catch me up, ive been driving over the road for 5 months now, initially soothing myself with music, empty conversation from random people and as dangerous as it sounds, tv, movies and murder mysteries. the last 30 days has been silent asf on my truck, no nothing! the window down and my thoughts. i gave the book another go round but ive been applying what im reading and this shit is no joke! ive learned how to know when im in the seat of self, how to be aware of my awareness, how to watch my emotions form, how to disconnect from what im seeing and pay attention to how whatever it is im seeing is making me feel. amateur at best but today was another monster and i can see how i definitely will need my awareness to grow and how consistency will play a major role in how fast i can find my freedom.

its 4th of july, no the weekend, the literal day. i'd been driving for 4 hours and go to my receiver super early because when i started my route i forgot the time zone was going to change. i arrived at 1:30 cst and am told the ppl who unload me was changing shifts and i'd have to wait until 3:45.. there's no pressure but its hard asf to find parking in general but especially on a holiday or weekend so idgaf about nothing but finding parking because im less than 1/2 mile aware from a flying j and dont wanna have to get back on the highway to find parking. i get back in my truck, eat and get on social media. i can feel someone unloading me but it's nowhere near 3:45 so i grab my paperwork and march my ass inside hype like "yes, imma be outta here soon" i get in a realize it was an over zealous worker who came in early for holiday pay (i'd still have to wait for my paperwork to get signed). someone shows up in the office right at 3:45 and im told they have to count and verify my freight which would be at least 30-45 more mins. im ok with that because my appt time wasn't until 5pm and im already unloaded before 4. it's gets dumb tricky because im notified im counted and good to go, i get inside and the guy who is to give me my papers says i have to pay a lumper fee. i've never in all my months had to pay a lumper fee, in fact i don't know wtf that is so i call my dm and I get Matt (he's a rude sob and hate hearing his damn voice) who tells me i have to send a message form. i do as im told but get a reference number on my tablet that says give this to the ppl inside to pay, i get inside give them the code and they tell me to put it in the payment slot on the text they sent (in my head im screaming "what fucking text") -- fuck the rest of the story

as im walking back and forth from my truck to the receiver i can feel the agitation building, my responses are on the rude side, i can hear my consciousness forewarning me that im getting heated. i tried to feel what was happening inside of me as im also trying to remain professional. i tell myself that im only frustated because i dont think im going to be able to find parking, im losing it becasue wtf is a lumper fee and wtf you mean i have to pay it, what text did you send me on top of hearing "western express this is Matt" lmmfaooooo. i get to the fucking gate to leave and the bitch gone say "can you pull all the way up im pregnant and i dont feel like walking to the back of your trailer. i legit wanted to run her tf over because bitch you at work and pregnant ppl arent handicapped HOT!!!! In the time it took me to tell myself to calm and actually calming down i ran a stop sign and drove past the flying j entrance.

then i get to my lil to do list and im supposed to read a chapter: Removing Your Inner Thorn (im literally fighting back tears writing this) the second fucking sentence "In order to grow, you must give up the struggle to remain the same, and learn to embrace change at all time" ATE ME TF UP! Im not the same because now i have the awareness to spot, feel and identify my emotions before they have me in a chokehold. knowing all that i still copped an attitude and let them run me. this chapter talks about have a literal thorn piercing a nerve and the options you have to avoid the pain. first option is to avoid anything that will touch, bother, graze, tap, irritate your torn.. second option, remove the fucking thorn all together! a few lines that made me legit get my laptop, come into the pilot and write this entire entry: if you decide you have to keep things from touching the thorn, then that becomes the work of a lifetime; the life of protecting yourself from the problem becomes a perfect reflection of the problem itself; you can actually fell that because you've minimized the pain of the problem, you've solved the problem.. all you did was devote your life to avoiding it; the problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what's inside; you are not the pain you feel; the thorns naturally work themselves out if you stop protecting them; you do no get rid of loneliness (or any thorn sadness, depression, anxiety, short temper, a broken heart, abdandonment) you just cease to be involved with it, it just another thing in the universerse like cars, glass or the stars.

i cant began to explain how i did the work and then read the book. there is no joy like getting it. i understand now. im praying for more situations to arise so i can better at this and win inner peace for myself. the ultimate goal for me is to sit in the seat of self and remain there.. i just know with my whole heart i will read this book until the cover falls off because it is a complete guide to spiritual freedom, in my opinion. i have about 6 books on my truck right now and this one is the most got a second read before i finished any of the other one for a first time. im happy to be here. in this space, with this awareness and the understanding of what to do with it and how if benefits me. i will get so fucking good at this!!

i hope when you come back to read this it wont be cringe babygirl. i wish you nothing but healing and total well being. to think that coming face to face with a pain that made you know want to wake up no more got you here is nothing but God's love for you. its so important to realize that it was all necessary! forgive, relax and release Saadiqa but most importantly remain thank for it all. equipped with the know-how to watch your thoughts and detach from them should make this journey so fucking delicious. you are awareness and EVERTHING else is an object of your consciousness. the feelings, the thoughts that get stuck on repeat, other people, aging, your body.. all of it. just a thing/things you've become aware of, they are not you. never, ever, ever forget that. leaving the seat of self is such a massive step down that some people do it for a single thing and they're never able to return again. that is the prize, the gift of a life lived. Chapter 8 over and over and over and over again!!!! please get this Saadiqa it is my life's wish for you NEVER STEP DOWN!

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driftwoodskeleton · 1 year

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tagged again by @strangefable <3<3 thank you!!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

potentially after a great-great grandparent? i don't know whos or anything though:/

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhh from sadness? like a week or more ago. but from pain from my stupid body, like earlier tonight

3. Do you have kids?

nope, and that will never change

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes, which is kinda funny considering i don't get when other people use it 9/10 times lol

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

im not sure, its not something ive thought about before. recently its been how ignorant or inattentive people are thought:/ GET OUT OF MY WAY OR ILL RUN U OVER OH MY GOD

6. What's your eye color?

blue:)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

i like scary moives even tho they do scare me a lot sometimes lol, can i have a scary movie with an implied happy ending? bc i like when characters get to be happy at the end of something, but i don't really go in for just feelgood films? idk if that makes sense lol :')

8. Any special talents?

nah, not really

9. Where were you born?

Wales:)

10. What are your hobbies?

drawing, writing, scrapbooking, making stuff, clay stuff, general crafting, i used to make cosplay props and jewellery, gaming, and watching films and tv shows i guess.

11. Have you had any pets?

yeah, dogs, cats and fish, plus we adopted a horse once and a sheep that we used to go visit. so many cats. for someone who claims to not really like cats, mum sure has had a lot of them lmao

12. What sports do you play/have played?

used to do horse riding, was alright at it, netball, swimming, ballet, tap, drama, mime, street dance, maybe jazz? don't remember lol

13. How tall are you?

idk for sure, maybe 5'6''?

14. Favorite subject in school?

english and history, art sometimes, or social studies. hard to choose. definitly not maths though lmaoooo

15. Dream job?

palaeontologist. ever since i could comprehend what the job was, so about 2, if my family are to be believed. unfortunatly, its just not meant to be. maybe freelance artist? theres not much i could do anymore, dream or not.

tagging @toyapandora and anyone else who wants to do these:)

#thank you for the tag!!#and sorry for the spam lol #strangefable #about me #tag games

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milesfagworth · 4 years

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The ending to she ra was so much better than I expected. I cant fully articulate my feelings properly right now, but for the pivotal moment, the ultimate saving action to be someone vulnerable and begging the one they love to stay, and to have that answered with a resounding "yes, of course", means so much to me.

Person after person has left me, from drifting due to me no longer willing to start every conversation, to cruel abandonment and malicious cutting off. Asking, begging people to stay is unthinkable. It's so often an action committed by the crazy, desperate character. And maybe catra is that, but she's also a hero. Her vulnerability is rewarded I've never seen and I am so thankful for this.

#ive never cried so hard over a tv show #she ra spoilers #spop spoilers #spop season five #catra #???.txt

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yousaytomato · 4 years

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Su future spoilers...

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sevendeadlymorons · 3 years

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The brothers + undateables react to the MC bringing her small child to RAD because no one in the human world is available to babysit, and they can’t leave a three-year-old alone. Bonus points if at some point, the kid runs up to them with something in their mouth, and when questioned, the kid spits out a rock or something.

IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THIS IN MY HEAD BUT NOBODY EVER SUGGESTED IT SO OMG THIS MAY BE A BIT LONG-

Brothers + Dateables Reaction to MC Bringing Their Kid to RAD

————————————

Lucifer

He had no idea you had a child honestly but considers it none of his concern

Well, not until you asked him to help out in babysitting that is, suddenly all his stress comes back

At first, the child was hyper, running around, stealing things, climbing on his lap and distracting him from work, he can’t count the amount of times he’s had to save this child from throwing themselves out the nearest window or getting flattened by all his records and books

One time, he caught the child running around with something in their mouth only to spit out a whole rock. Easy to say he was traumatised

But he couldn’t get over how much this small child looked and acted like you and he would never tell anyone, but he completely fell in love with your kid

He’s honestly the best babysitter, checking up on them constantly and keeping them company. The headaches he got from them though were a minor set back for him

Offers to be a regular babysitter as he enjoyed time with them so much and he loves all the little quirks that they share with you

Mammon

Since when did you have a kid?! With who?!

Couldn’t believe it at first but he couldn’t deny this small human looked quite a lot like you and he honestly started to quickly fall in love

Wasn’t so keen on the idea of babysitting but he soon came around as your kid became his new sneaky thief. Lucifer would never dream about harming your child, would he?

Turns out the kid was a huge nightmare, just like his human, and he had to stop the kid from killing themself several times a day. He even had to claw a whole damn rock out of this kids mouth

He was actually pretty cool with the kid when they weren’t causing trouble, though, playing games and talking to them, making them laugh and yeah, he cried when they gave him a little hug

He got flustered at the fact this was your child he was currently looking after and he may or may not have imagined you two having your own children and looking after this one together

He may babysit the kid again… for 500 Grimm, of course, he’s not a charity

Leviathan

He’s not good with children! Don’t leave him with your child!

At first he was shocked you even had a kid. Since when?! But then you dropped this tiny human in his arms and went about your day

Not too sure what babies like at first and he tried multiple things just to entertain them for long enough that he could play his game in peace

To no avail though, the kid was a nightmare, shoving shit in their mouth and causing him to go into panic mode, knocking over his figurines and distracting him from his game

They honestly settled down eventually though as your kid crawled into his lap and snatched the phone from his hands, beginning to laugh at the game on the screen

He’s the cool babysitter. He taught them how to beat the levels in his game, talked to them about his favourite anime’s and even let them play with Henry for a while, this kid quickly had his entire heart

He doesn’t know what came over him but he weirdly wouldn’t mind looking after your kid again if you needed him to… maybe it’s just because they reminded him so much of you though

Satan

Like Lucifer, he didn’t want to be involved with your kid in all honesty

But surprise, he now has your kid wrapped up in his arms for the whole day

He tried his best to keep them company at first even if they were a nightmare. He can’t even begin to count the amount of times this kid ran off and hid and shoved stuff in their mouths only to spit out a pebble or two…

He did enjoyed reading to them though, watching them smile and clap their hands when they heard a part they found particularly amusing and then attempt to read it back in their jumbled baby language

He actually started to really like your child and the two of them went cat searching later on in the day, petting all the cats they saw and sneakily feeding them leftovers from the kitchen

He definitely liked the child more when they were worn out and more calm and they just hopped up to sat on his lap and started poorly reading the book out loud to him in gibberish, but either way, he liked watching the child learn and enjoy reading

He offers to look after the kid more often, he didn’t mind. It was your child after all

Asmodeus

Oh well aren’t you cutest little thing~?

Yeah easy to say he was immediately drawn to this tiny, adorable 3 year old of yours and happily took them in with open arms

The two of them spent the day painting eachothers nails and Asmo brushing your child’s hair, putting in little clips and bows and telling them how pretty they look

For some reason, the child was pretty behaved in Asmo’s care, not including the time they came way too close to eating nail polish and he almost had a heart attack

Gave eachother lots of hugs and he couldn’t stop complimenting them and loving every single time the kid laughed or smiled, it reminded him of you in a way, you two really were similar

He enjoyed being around the kid when they were calm and sleepy as it gave him a good opportunity to just relax without the stress of thinking the kid will eat something they’re not supposed to

He definitely will take care of them more often if you ever need a babysitter, he’d be happy to!

Beelzebub

… is it edible?

After going through the rules of ‘no eating the 3 year old’ with him, he’s actually a pretty good babysitter and took good care of them while you were busy

He always knows when they’re hungry and will feed them whatever they ask, maybe sometimes a little bit too much food though but hey, at least they look happy

He caught them with something in their mouth the one time and he immediately thought they snagged his food, but all of a sudden, they spat out a whole rock and honestly, he gets it. Sometimes he gets hungry enough to eat rocks too…

The two get along well honestly, sharing meals and watching TV and Beel even invites Belphie to help look after your kid so it was just the two of them playing with this tiny human child for hours in the attic

Beel loves the child’s smile, it reminds him of you, and their laugh and the way they give him little leg hugs. Truthfully, he loved your kid so much

Kinda sad when they have to leave; offering to babysit whenever you want him to because he just loves them so much

Belphegor

You really expect him to be able to look after a child? He’ll pass…

But before he knew it, a kid was sat on his bed and you were gone and already he was fed up

Weirdly though, looking at your kid brought him this odd inner peace kind of feeling where he just wants to hold them and never let go. Maybe it was because the kid was yours and it reminded him so much of you…?

He kind of just naps with them more than he should for the entire day. He knows 3 year olds like to sleep and that’s his specialty so he thought why not

When the two of them are awake, he spends it in the planetarium looking up at the stars and teaching the child all the names and alignments or eating way too much downstairs with Beel

There was a time where he had to forcefully snatch this stone out of the child’s mouth after running after them for hours, and then lecture them on how they can’t do that and then he had to take another nap due to being absolutely exhausted but besides from that, the child was pretty sleepy, all day

Yeah ok maybe he fell for your child and maybe he’ll babysit them again, but expect him to complain about it first

Diavolo

He’s actually really happy you came to him first to look after your child :)

Honestly, he’s such a sweetheart towards the small child, but he definitely gave in several times to those irresistible puppy eyes and ended up spoiling them

He was also sort of busy with work so the kid tended to just sit on his lap and play with his free hand and would sometimes run off without him noticing only to come back hand in hand with Barbatos who found them digging through the trash

He wasn’t any good at discipline so whenever they came back covered in trash he kinda just laughed it off and sat them back down, he’s too sweet to yell at such a small and helpless human

He can’t remember the last time he had such fun though. The child was sweet to him and he very much enjoyed watching the antics of a normal 3 year old human with hyper tendencies

They took walks around the garden together, helping them pick little flowers and putting them in their hair, watching them laugh and smile afterwards

The child reminded him of you and that just made them even more lovable to him and it was easy to say he’d without a doubt babysit your kid any time

Barbatos

Never expected you to want him to take care of your child but he’ll do his best

He was sort of busy the entire day and couldn’t take care of the child as much as he planned to but he made sure the child was happy either way

The two of them cleaned up together, Barbatos handing the kid a little feather duster and showing them how to properly clean, watching them enjoying themselves and laughing in the corner of his eye

He did have to scold them a few times for misbehaving and eating things they shouldn’t though, especially random pebbles from outside

When he wasn’t cleaning or tending to paperwork, he took the child on little walks around the garden, enjoying the way the small kid laughed and smiled at all the flowers and butterflies, their arm swinging from side to side cheerfully, causing him to smile too

Easy to say he fell in love hard pretty quickly, noticing the way they took after you and how polite and sweet they were towards him

He wouldn’t mind looking after them again, just perhaps when he’s less busy…

Simeon

He already has Luke but he supposes one more couldn’t hurt

He’s a great babysitter really, no complaints and rarely any misbehaving on the child’s end except for a few times throughout the day where he had to desperately stop them from swallowing rocks

But other than that, the child was pretty calm, following him around and laughing at his awfully made jokes; their hand normally attached to his trouser leg so they didn’t get lost

He loved how the child reminded him of you, their mannerisms and the way they acted were so similar and he couldn’t help but laugh and fall deeper in love with this tiny, peculiar human

He spent a lot of the day having a small tea party with them, sharing biscuits and hot chocolate for the child and tea for him, watching them pour him tea then laugh as he takes a sip

When he needed to do something quickly, he left the child with Luke and then came back to legitimately the most heartwarming game of monopoly between two small children he’s ever seen

He would without a doubt babysit again if you ever need him to, it’s no trouble honestly

Solomon

You’d really trust your kid with him? Really?

He’s honestly really happy you’d entrust them with him though and he’ll make sure to not get them killed

He’s actually really good at babysitting though: making sure they’re always laughing until they’re falling over, showing them cool spells to entertain them, playing games and seeing how badly he can scare the shit out of them without making them cry

Solomon’s that one cool babysitter you always have that’s cool in a bad way, like he’ll make you dinner but he’ll also burn the entire house down, but hey, at least he’s funny

He’ll randomly sneak up behind the kid and yell ‘boo’ just for the fun of it and if they cry, it’s Simeon’s problem now

He absolutely adores it when the kid follows him around and laughs at every little thing he does, it’s like he has his own personal fan

Kinda disappointed when the kid has to leave but make sure to call him to babysit again

Luke

Finally, someone that’s shorter than him!

He kinda just hangs around the kid all day, keeping them company with games and jokes and cheering them up if they start to miss you

He even attempts to teach them how to play monopoly with him but eventually finds out that 3 year olds cannot play monopoly…

Though he isn’t the one actually babysitting, he sure is a good playmate towards the child and they seem to enjoy his company at least

The days full of laughter and just two children having fun, which is a sight to see for everyone at Purgatory Hall

They’ll take walks around together, Luke immediately regretting his decisions and panicking when they put a rock in their mouth and he has to negotiate with them to spit it out

Yeah alright maybe he’s a little sad that they’re leaving so soon, so make sure they come visit again!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me dateables #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon

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6rookie-writer0110 · 3 years

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Heaven is not waiting for me anymore

Clark Kent x Male!Reader Kent

Request - where y/n is the son of Clark and Lois from the injustice universe. He has kryptonite in his system where he is unable to use his powers because clark (injustice) made an example of him so he can show fear. After that he has been cold to others and distance with people including Barbara who he has feelings for but so much has happened. So he has to relay on martial art from training. with bruce, he also has a bat suit. He also have a deep hatred for his father (injustice superman).

Earth 2- Injustice Universe

You lost your mother Lois because of the Joker. Your father Clark snapped, he became a different person. Now he is starting to kill criminals and doesn't care about anyone or you. He doesn't stand for hope anymore now he stands for destruction. You feel that you lost both of your parents, you don't wear the symbol of hope anymore.

You made a plan to stop your father. You didn't think fully out the plan, but you have kryptonite inside a gun. You are half Kryptonian and kryptonite is still your weakness.

You have been tracking your father, he is about to kill a criminal robbing a bank. But you stepped in and punched him in the face. Everyone saw what you did, they take out their phones and start to record. Now you and Clark start to fight each other.

“You are destroying everything! You are no god!!” You yelled.

“I am a God. Everyone bows down to me and you would bow down to me” Clark said.

You take out the gun, you pulled the trigger. But he used speed to grab the gun and there is one bullet left. Now he will make sure everyone will watch what he will do next. He has his hand around your throat, you are struggling to breathe and tears go down your face.

“Anyone who tries to disobey me or think they can kill me, this will happen!” Clark yelled.

He aimed the gun on your chest and pulled the trigger. Everyone is in shock at what happened, he throws you to the ground. You are in pain and you try to use your powers but can't. Barbara arrived at the scene, she used Batarang to distract him. He left and Barbara picked you up and takes you to the bat cave.

---

A week later...

You have been in a coma for a week, Barbara and Bruce have been taking care of you. You wake up and you see Barbara looking at a computer screen.

“What happened?” You asked.

She turns around and walked towards you.

“You have been in a coma for a week. The kryptonite was close to your heart. You lost a lot of blood and it was too much kryptonite in your system” Barbara said.

You touch your chest and you see the scar. You sighed and she gives you a cup of water.

“Thank you, Barbara. But I have to go” You said.

“Your father thinks you are dead. Don't do anything stupid, you almost died and if it happens again he would kill you” Barbara said.

“He needs to be stopped,” You said.

“I know. But he is stronger than you, you are thinking reckless” Barbara said.

You take out the iv from your arms and take off the hospital gown. She gave you a hoodie and sweat pants.

“Where are you going?” Barbara asked.

“Dont worry about me,” You said.

She watched you walk away and she called Bruce and told him what happened. You went to a rundown motel and you want to be alone. Your father thinks you're dead and he is still killing criminals, no one can stop him.

Days went by, you didn't leave the motel room for anything. Barbara didn't check up on you, she wanted to give you space. And she has been busy with Bruce designing a suit.

You are in bed watching tv, you hear a knock on the door but you don't get up. She starts to knock louder, but you don't move.

“Y/n! Open the door now” Barbara yelled.

You sighed heavily then got out of bed and opened the door.

“What!?” You yelled.

“Are you done with the pity party!?” Barbara asked.

“How did you find me?” You asked.

She walks in and you closed the door. The motel room is a dump.

“Wasn't hard. I put a tracker on the hoodie you left with. I know you still want to stop your dad, so come with me” Barbara said.

“Why should I? Plus he still thinks I'm dead” You said.

“To train. You are still weak if you went to fight him now well he will break like a stick” Barbara said.

“Fine,” You said.

You leave with Barbara, she took you to Bruce’s mansion. You and Barbara have feelings for each other, you told her, and you were going to ask her out but tragically struck. Her feelings for you haven't changed but she wants to be there for you. She wants you to open up to her but you won't.

“Y/n, how are you,” Bruce said.

“Why do you want me here?” You asked.

“To help you train and stop your father,” Bruce said.

“Okay,” You said.

---

Bruce and Barbara started to train with you in Martial arts. Today you are fighting against Bruce, Barbara, and the League of Assassins. Some are friends with Bruce and they agreed to train you. They are pushing your limits, they don't let you rest. Any mistake you make will let you know and make you train harder.

During the night, Bruce is training you with weapons. Barbara shows you how to use the weapons, you did struggle to fight with weapons. Bruce and the league of assassins easily knocked the weapons out of your hands.

After training Barbara would want to spend time with you, but you would lock yourself in the bedroom. She gives you space and she goes back to the bat cave.

“Here is your dinner, master y/n,” Alfred said.

“Thank you. You don't have to call me ‘master’, Alfred” You said.

“Master, y/n you shouldn't hide from the world. Yes, you are going through a tough time but that doesn't mean you can't be happy in the end. You should let yourself grieve for your mother, she was a wonderful woman and she was strong” Alfred said.

“I wish everything didn't change,” You said.

“We all feel the same way. But now you have a chance to create the life you want a new one. what would your mother say right now?” Alfred said.

What made you think what he said, he walks out of the room. You start to eat the food and keep thinking about what he said.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

A few weeks later...

Bruce and Barbara have been designing a suit for you. They finished with the suit and they watched you test out the suit. Last few weeks, you were training from dawn until the next day. You mastered fighting with weapons and learned new combat moves. You are still distant from Barbara, two days ago you got into a huge argument with her.

You are still in love with her but you want to protect her from your father. You don't want to see Barbara get hurt.

“What do you think of the suit?” Barbara asked.

You take off the helmet.

“I like it and I can move in it,” You said.

“You are okay with the symbol?” Bruce asked.

“I like it,” You said.

The suit is all black, the Batman symbol is red, the eyes are red, the gloves have sharp claws, and the suit protects you from kryptonite. Barbara and Bruce start to suit and you put the helmet back on.

---

You three found Bruce in the city, you stopped him from killing someone.

“Son, you came back from the dead” Clark said.

“This ends today,” You said.

“I see you are wearing a new symbol -”

“You ruined the legacy of being a Kryptonian!” You yelled.

He used heat vision to attack you but you dodged it. Now Clark is fighting you while Barbara and Bruce are trying to get the citizens away from the fight. Clark punched you and you hit the ground, he used speed to grab you by the neck.

“This time I will make sure you are dead,” Clark said.

“You are not the same father that I used to have. He is dead to me!” You yelled.

You took out, you tased him, and he lets you go. You and Clark used heat vision at the same time, you used more strength to not fall. You throw Batarang at him and it started to explode.

He fell then you start to punch him in the face over and over. All the anger you have for him starts to come out. You take out the kryptonite dagger and you try to stab but he has his wrapped around your hands.

“Y/n! Y/n don't kill him” Barbara yelled.

“He deserves to die!” You yelled.

“That is an easy escape for him! You are much better than him, don't become like him” Barbara said.

Something clicked in your mind.

“I want you to suffer until the day you die. I lost my mom and my father” You said.

You moved away from him and he starts to stand up. Bruce played a video of Lois on the big screen and starts to watch, you your father cry.

The moment where Clark held Lois before she died.

“I can't lose you” Clark cried.

“I will always love you, Clark. I will always remember you and y/n, please be there for each other. He is going need to you. Tell him, I love him...”

You start to cry and it would be the last time you hear her voice.

“Son, I am sorry for the chaos I caused,” Clark said.

“I don't believe you and I will never will. You killed my friend Shazam and many others. You are lucky I didn't kill you because of Barbara. This is the last time you will see me” You said.

You take out the Phantom Zone projector and you sent him to the Phantom Zone.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

Time Skip...

You and Barbara became an official couple. She makes you happy and you carrying boxes into her apartment. You are going to live with her and she is very happy about that.

You and Barbara sat on the couch and she gave you a peck on the lips.

“So happy that was the last box,” Barbara said.

“Now we have to unbox everything,” You said.

“How about we go get something to eat and we do it later?” Barbara said.

You kissed her on the lips.

“Sounds good to me,” You said.

Later, you and Barbara spend half of the night unboxing everything. You did use speed to do it faster which Barbara is happy about. You and Barbara would save the city together but you don't kill criminals who rob a store. You would kill if it's a life and death situation only.

#x male reader #male!reader #dc imagine #superman imagine #superman x son #x son #Clark Kent x son #clark kent x male!reader #clark kent x reader

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sanzuslover · 3 years

Text

daddy tonight

shigaraki tomura x all mights daughter reader

warnings: yandere behavior, stalking, death threats, misogyny?, kidnapping, non-con, domestic abuse, daddy kink, ect.

you were all might’s daughter, everyone fancied you, you shined bright like the stars. shigaraki hated you so much, you were 2 years younger than him, 18, yet you were still a popular and successful hero.

you were ridiculously hot, but that wasn’t all…you were literally his most hated hero daughter, shigaraki had been stalking you ever since you were 14, he was young too so he didn’t see anything wrong with it.

it was a miracle how he didn’t decay you, he could if he wanted to, maybe when you were younger but definitely not now, now you were a hero a real hero and not one in training.

he had smelled your panties and stolen your belongings in various occasions but you never seemed to notice— of course someone like you wouldn’t.

shigaraki wrote everything down about you, he studied and observed you a lot, but lately he can’t since you turned 18 and there’s a lot of other men dying to marry you, who wouldn’t wanna marry all might’s daughter?

ever since you turned 18, you’ve been acting like those dumb whores he hated, shigaraki is a man who is always busy so he still is a virgin, it made him mad how there’s a small possibility that you aren’t one.

it would be unfair he thought to himself, he waited all these years for you yet all you did was go on live tv and show the whole world your very tight hero suit and that cute innocent little face.

you always blushed when being interviewed, he thought it was cute but only him should see you like that, you always looked so needy, like a whore.

he could tell you were a daddy’s girl, always whining and crying when things didn’t go the way you wanted them to— he thought you and him both had that in common.

•

its 6:38 pm as shigaraki plays with his cock, he keeps on stroking his manhood till he cums all over your face, well the poster in his room that has your face on it.

“i actually am dating someone!” you say

shigaraki almost broke his scarred neck and he looked over to the tv screen and saw you and a man…what? what could you be doing with him? shigarki couldn’t understand.

you smile and blush at the camera and the man puts his hands around your waist, he brings his handsome face close to yours and kisses you, you of course kiss him back, the lady interviewing you cheer you both on.

shigaraki hands fly to his neck and he starts scratching and crying at what he’s seeing right now, how dare you? how dare you (name)? he still can’t understand why.

“…this brat…i need to go now!” shigaraki yells.

he grabs his coat and leaves the new lov hideout, he doesn’t know why but he feels he has been a little too nice to you, you’re taking him for granted.

shigaraki arrives and waits for you, its early and he knows for a fact that you’ll be here late so he just waits in your house, he decayed your front door.

•

you were a bit drunk and your boyfriend senju had left you, you get in your car and drive back to your house, your dress was so tight it made you mad so you took it off.

you prayed and begged nobody saw you like this, what would people say if they say all might’s daughter with only a bra and panties, they were sexy too.

it was late at night so you could barely see and so it made you calm down a bit since you were almost naked, you went in your bag searching for your keys but almost died as you say your door…it was gone?

“hah what the hell” you whisper to yourself and walked in

you wish you didn’t since now someone was chaining you with some anti-quirk chains, you screamed at the person but they only laughed, the lights were turned off so you couldn’t see them.

“S-STOP Y-YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING???! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM” you said

the person— man now laughs and your stomach now hurts from it, he was a villain, you could tell with that laugh of his, he came close to your ear, his hot breath hit your ear.

“of course i know who you are (name)” he said slowly

you screamed and started moving trying to fight against him but it didn’t work, he only laughed at how pathetic you looked trying to push him off.

“come here, i won’t hurt you” he whispered in your ear and you just cried and closed your eyes

he grabbed you and pulled you up the stairs where your room was at, he laid you down on your bed and locked the door, he then turned on the light.

you instantly cried when you saw him, he was the villain who invaded ua— the school your dad worked with. he started laughing like a psychopath.

“…that face, ive waited years to see you like that” he said and sized you up and down

you shook your head and cried even more.

“i can’t believe you became such a slut, wearing that really? are you trying to provoke me?” he said as he walked closer to you, he touched your hair with 3 of his fingers

“…(name) do you know who i am?” he asked

“…y-yes” you told him

“no, do you know who i REALLY am?” he asked and looked you in the eyes

you only shook your head and he smiled at that, he started taking his shirt and pants off, you looked at him confused, he was getting naked.

“s-stop!” you told him

you started to move around but shigaraki quickly sat on top of you, he looked at you and you cringed, you shook your head ‘no’ and he laughed.

he grabbed your face with 4 fingers and looked you in the eyes, your eyes looked so innocent and pleading to him, he creepily smiled when you started gagging.

“hahahahah hahahah, so…you smelled me right? i haven’t showered in weeks!” he told you in a mean manner

you gagged and looked at him as if he was the ugliest creature ever to exist.

“plwease ewa you’re so smelly! and ugly! get off me!” you screamed and cried but shigaraki had enough of you

he slapped you and pulled down your panties, he started pumping his 2 bony fingers into you in a unpleasant and fast manner, you cried even more.

“S-STOWPP!” you yelled

“hah, don’t you EVER treat me like that bitch or i’ll kill you!” he yelled back at you

you gasped and looked at him with a scared face, he was threatening to kill you…he wouldn’t do it right? he could end your life with all 5 of his fingers, it terrified you.

“n-no s-sorry…” you whispered and shook your head trying to convince him

“im going to hurt you real bad if you act all naughty now” he warned you

you started to cry and moan when he kept on scissoring you with his fingers, he did it so rough and to his surprise you were really tight, he smiled at this.

he started kissing your cunt and he pulled his fingers out of you, you felt empty and he chuckled when he saw your disappointed face.

he kept on kissing and tongue fucking your pussy so hard and good that you couldn’t stop crying and moaning, this was like heaven to him.

“you like it don’t ya” he asked you

you moaned and cried out to him but this made him mad, what did you do wrong? you should be the one mad, not him.

“when i ask a question you answer me…got that!” he slightly yelled at you

“mhm!” you screamed and cried when he slapped your pussy, it hurts so much.

“s-sir shigaraki” you said and he slapped your pussy again, causing you to moan and cry

“it’s tenko” he said

“h-huh?” you asked, he looked at you and told you

“i said call me tenko” he said and then started rubbing his fingers up and down your cunt.

“ah~uh” you moaned

“imagine what all might must think if he saw you like this…getting fingered by a villain…” he evilly stated

you started crying and screaming at the thought of that, you were a hero…getting fingered by a villain, a villain who hates your dad, how disappointing.

shigaraki turned you around and pushed his dick all the way up your pussy, he then grabbed your hair and whispered in your ear

“your daddy must be proud don’t ya think?” he whispered

you shook your head ‘no’

“doesn’t matter cause from now on im your daddy” he laughed and pulled your hair even more

“w-what do you want ah~” you moaned

“y-you” shigaraki was slightly out of breath, your body looked so perfect like this, all for him.

“w-what do you mean?” you nervously questioned

“you know w-what i mean ah” he moaned as he started slamming faster into you, your ass bounced on his belly and he smiled at this.

“so good~” he whispered

“ah AH t-there!” you moaned and whined, shigaraki groaned.

“so fucking good for me ngh” he moaned, yet all you could think about was your father, it was killing you.

you were getting off to a villain fucking you, how disgusting. you should be ashamed of yourself, what if he came in you?

“hey pay attention bitch!” shigaraki snapped his fingers at you “can’t believe you’re ignoring me”

“s-sowy” you cried and shigaraki pulled out and flipped you over, his hair hitting your face, he was sweating and so were you.

you’re cheeks and lips were red, his cheeks were red too. he then started to put his very long veiny dick in your pussy, he groaned.

“ah~ yes… a woman like you deserves to be treated like a slut…not a hero” he told you as he looked you directly in the eyes, his look was so intimidating.

you whined when he said that, you knew, well more like you believed that if you were a boy all might and everyone else would be way more proud of you.

“i-its hurts s-sir tenko” you whined for him and he started aggressively slamming his hips into you “AHHH~ T-TENKO!”

“mhm i knew you would like this, you’re such a dirty girl, call me daddy” he groaned out, he watched as your tits moved up and down, so hot.

you thought about it, he’s literally fucking you without your permission! he came and disintegrated your door, it was expensive! how will your dad react to thi-

“AGH NGHH D-DADDY, TENKO S-STAWP” you moaned with tears in your eyes and shigaraki drooled all over your tits and stomach, it was so nasty.

“mhm, my good girl, i see you’re learning your place…” he said and a feeling inside your stomach started growing, it felt so hot and you knew what was gonna happen.

“im g-gonna i-ima cum!” you moan out and cum on his dick, your pussy clenched around his dick in a filthy way, how file of you.

“uh-uh what a bad girl…and here i thought you were behaving good” shigaraki told you with a dry laugh, your eyes widened in fear as his hand came to grab your neck.

with tears in your eyes you looked up to him, his bloody eyes were staring into your soul, you started shaking and gasping for air, you thought he was going to kill you.

“i could kill you right now if i wanted to…” he told you and looked down to your red glossy lips “but i won’t…never”.

he forcefully kissed you and you allowed him to since you were scared he was going to disintegrate you, it was a horrifying thought.

he moaned into the kiss, he was waiting for this, to feel your lips on his, even if it was by force…he doesn’t regret anything at all, he loves it all.

with his free hand, he started playing with your right breast, he pinched your nipples and you opened your mouth to protest but shigaraki just inserted his tongue into your mouth.

you arched your back and started kissing him back, the feeling was good but it was bad, this felt like a sin, a very dirty and taunting sin.

he then let go off your neck, and allowed you to finally breathe, it felt good but then he started pulling it in, again, you both moaned.

he started moving, it hurt, he was going a little too fast and the look in his face scared you, he looked as if he going to kill you, what did you do wrong?

tomura had remembered why he even came here…because of that damn tall handsome male, he was jealous and he lost control, something in him was telling him to punish you— that you deserved this.

“you know, i was mad at you…no…i AM mad at you! how dare you go with that brat…he doesn’t deserve you, no one does!” he screamed at you with angry eyes, he then started pulling out of you.

“w-wha-“ you tried to talk but he shushed you and sat on the right side of the bed, he grabbed a fist full of your hair and looked at you in the eyes while talking.

“i spent almost my whole life loving you! and this…this is how you repay me! how embarrassing of me to fall in love with the daughter of the person i most hate in the world! i hate everything and everyone!”

you shook at his words, your tears were falling down your face like a lake, your lashes were wet and scalp was in pain, he was gripping your hair a bit too tight.

“i’ll kill him, everyone! him, your dad, all of them!” he screamed and then started crying.

“don’t you understand…? these heroes, your dad, they don’t love you! i did and do everything for you! yet all you is be ungrateful, i’ll make you learn!”

he pulled you by the hair and off the bed, he pushed you on your knees and forced your mouth opened, you started crying even more and trying to stand up but couldn’t when he pushed his dick all the way in your mouth, down to your throat.

“a-ah yes…now you’re being useful! you need to understand that im the only person who loves you” he said and you looked up to him through your thick lashes and rosy cheeks.

you looked so cute, like always, he thought he could take a picture of you and so he let go of your hair and grabbed his phone that was on the bed, you started shaking and asking questions but he just shut you up with his dick, again.

“i love you but you gotta learn” he said and started pushing your head up and down…faster and faster until he came, it felt so good and he pulled out to let some of his cum fall on your face.

“aww don’t look at me like that, smile, all heroes smile right!?” he said and slapped you when you didn’t smile, you cried and obeyed him this time.

“good good…” he said as he took a picture of you with a sad smile, you looked so hot, all for him, oh and your dad.

“i wonder what all might would say if he saw this…” shigaraki tormented you, you cried and begged him not to show anyone the picture.

“t-tenko p-pwease n-no…” you cried and crawled to him, he looked down on you and kissed you, you kissed back, scared.

he picked you up and sat you on the bed, he told you to go to sleep, but you shook your head ‘no’.

“(name), i said go to sleep” he said as he walked over to you, he got a blanket and covered you with it, he didn’t take off the chains on your wrists.

“…i w-won’t tell anyone about this…just please…don’t show my dad that picture, tenko” you looked at him with sad eyes.

“…okay” he whispered

shigaraki wanted to laugh in your face but, he decided to be nice and so he turned off the lights, and waited for you to go to sleep, and so when you did, he turned on his phone.

everything was going to be so good now, he’ll finally have you, he’s going to cum in you and breed you, he knows you’ll be a great mom.

he laughed at the thought of how all might and everyone would react to this, what expression would all might do if he saw your belly growing, his grandchildren will be the children of a villain, the one who hates him the most.

shigaraki looked at your beautiful sleeping face and smiled, he planted a kissed on your forehead and looked for all might’s number on his phone, he had it since he stalked you.

he clicked on it and send it to him, shigaraki laughed at this, would you get in trouble? doesn’t matter cause tonight he’s your daddy.

{end}

#yandere shigaraki #mha shigaraki #boku no hero academia shigaraki #mha x you #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki fanfiction

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svnaslove · 3 years

Text

cuddles. II

Genre: fluff !! and chaos 😔 !!

Characters: Kishoshita, Narita, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi

warnings: uhm.. yams’ part is a lil suggestive 😳

#7 | Hisashi Kinoshita | 木下

kinoshita !!

chile let me take a moment to breathe because he’s so underrated but idk how because this man is so pretty !! and kind !! and respectful !!

im about to bark

n e ways

he’s a lil insecure bub🥺

since he sits alot i feel like that did a little something to his confidence :((

but it also made him more aware of his surroundings and he’s very very supportive !!

when you first said you wanted to cuddle he was like

“😳 y-you wanna cuddle?”

kinda scared to at first because he doesn’t know what to do lsjfdls

so you guys started small like just leaning on each other, then laying on each others laps and then full on cuddle sessions <3

he’s so fcking cute !!

if your hair’s long, he ties it up while you’re cuddling so it doesn’t get in the way for you 🥺

if anything he’s trying to make sure you have a good time when cuddling more then himself

#8 | Kazuhito Narita | 成田

cutie !!

again, another v underrated boi, imma cri real quick

he’s literally the cutest ever

he was the first to initiate cuddles and it was so cuteee

he went in to give you a hug while you were standing in the kitchen and he was just like “i miss you :(”

he was touch-starved😭

but then he just...

didn’t let go DSFJLKDS

“kazu, baby, do you want to cuddle?”

HIS EYES LIT UP, HE GOT SO EXCITED

but then he got bashful,,, “if you want to....then i want to too... “

“dummy, i saw how excited you got, let’s go cuddle”

literally happy boi, just trailing after you to the bed to cuddle :))

holds u so tight >.<

but a comfy tight :)

#9 | Tobio Kageyama |影山

my heart goes out to kageyama this absolute baby😭

he’s so awkward because he doesn’t know how to initiate anything and the only thing he’s ever thought about is volleyball

it’s to the point where he has this weird feeling that he just wants to hold you but he doesn’t know how to ask ??

and sometimes he doesn’t know what it is either so he’ll be like, “damn, maybe if i drink some milk, this odd feeling will go away”

spoiler alert: the milk does not help 💔

heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♀️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪

so one day you guys are just late night watching tv together and you’re both under the blanket and he’s like “damn, here’s that weird feeling again”

and he just

stares

he just stares at you because he doesn’t know how to ask because he’s scared to feel embarrassed

you feel him looking and you just turn to him like

“😳 hello?”

literally this pretty ass boy is just staring at you and you’re freaking out and he has no self realization and you’re just there, mad blushing

he gets all blushy too and looks away

SLKDFJLSDJF

“im sorry :(”

then he can’t take it anymore

he stares again 😭

“ 😳 tobio, do you need something?”

“c-can we cuddle?”

THIS CUTIE SLDKFJSDLKF

and you’re like oH, THAT’S WHY HE WAS STARING AT ME LIKE THAT

“yeah, come here”

you hold out your arms and he just goes to your arms

you’ll be laying on your back and he’s laying on your stomach

and you’ll just play with his hair and hum and he just feels so relaxed and he just takes in your scent and gets smiley sometimes

and now every time he just stares at you, you know that he wants to cuddle, its just a non-verbal agreement now fldsjsljf

bonus:

this position of cuddling with him was the first time he told you that he loved you 🥺

you were just the only person that could keep him grounded, and when he’s like that with you he just feels so at peace and he just realized out of nowhere that he fell in love with you 🥺

#10 | Hinata Shoyou | 日向

🥺 🥺 🥺 !!!

so baby !!

he can’t stop smiling when you guys are about to cuddle

like his cheeks are hurting !! and he’s still like :DD

like nishinoya, he would tickle you too but it wouldn’t go as far as a tickle fight, just a little something to get you to giggle

squeals “you’re so cuteeee” ALOT

he will squish your cheeks

honestly, at this point, you guys’ cuddles are more like both of you just laying next to each other really close face to face, some limbs intertwined and just squishing each others cheeks, tickling here and there and just tracing each others features

literally about to cry, the puppy love energy is astronomical 😭

count each others beauty marks, i just feel like that is def something that would happen one day lfkjs

silly faces !!

he compliments you all the time like “you’re so prettyy 🥺” but when you compliment him he’s like

“wait🤚 😳 , u talking about me?? 😳” will blush so hard he will blackout

he’ll have to hide his face into like the crook of your neck because he’s all blushy

#11 | Kei Tsukishima | 月島

i hate him with so much love

does that make sense

yes, it does.

will tease the HELL out of you when you show that you want to cuddle

gets all smug too😤

but tbh he just does that because he just gets wayyy too excited and his hearts all chaos

it’s his coping mechanism for being a simp 🤡

so he’ll just play with you

“oh? you wanna cuddle? hmm, i don’t know, ask me again in 5 minutes”

MF I SWEAR I WILL CLIMB U

also he gets way into that “hmmm” as if he’s thinking really hard about it SDLKJFSDLK

then you get all pouty and leave and he’s like

“IM JUST KIDDING JESUS WHERE ARE YOU GOING”

he let his simp side show 😔 r.i.p. ur pride tsukki

and you’re shocked, like where tf did tsukki go?? this ain’t him fkjsd

so you mess with him too

“oh? so you wanna cuddle with me now? hmm, i don’t know, you were kinda mean to me earlier, maybe i’ll just ask tadashi or something.”

you’re literally reaching for your car keys and walking out of your apartment and he just

*SWOOP*

this tree ass mf swooped you out of the floor over his shoulder earning a loud and embarrassing yelp from you and just carries you to bed

“you’re not going anywhere, don’t be an idiot”

puts you on top of the bed and just lays on top of you to keep you from moving anywhere

“KEI THIS IS NOT COMFORTABLE I CAN’T BREATHE”

“then stop being weird saying you’re going to cuddle other people and cuddle me already dumbass”

gets off and you guys lay comfortably together

“i hate you kei” ~in a playful manner ofc <3

“i know” *gives you a kiss on your forehead* 🥺

#12 | Tadashi Yamaguchi | 山口

i will violently *🥺* for yamaguchi any day, everyday

i love him so much he’s just so 🥺 🥺 !!

ok !!

so cuddling with yamaguchi is the softest experience any human could ever go through

he so soft ???

he’s so sweet ???

he’s so cute ???

he’s so respectful ???

im in love.

will always be asking if somethings okay, if you’re alright, if you’re comfy, if he’s doing anything wrong

but it’s never in an overbearing way, it’s more in a reassuring way !

he was def awkward the first time but he just got more comfy with you over time

but that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t get all blushy and a lil nervous on where to put his hands because he does

he just wants to know if you’re okay, he doesn’t want to accidently make you uncomfortable

but uhm....

one day...

you two were cuddling

and everything was going good, everything was just fine

in fact, he didn’t even need to ask if you were okay or comfy etc,, because he just knows what you like now and he can tell from your body language

but uhm...

you were cuddling, you were the little spoon and he was the big spoon

and you just wanted to get closer

so you nuzzled back into him

and he just

froze.

“tadashi? what’s wrong?”

“uhhhh.....”

literally his face is so red

and then...

u felt it.

you tense up too and you’re face is starting to get red and you’re like

“uhh.....is ....that...?”

yamaguchi looks like he’s about to cry lsdfkjs

“IM SORRY, I CAN’T CONTROL IT, YOU JSUT FJSDKL YOU BACKED INTO ME AND IT JSUT DID IT IM SORRY”

literally already standing up ready to run out of there

but then 😳

you just grab his wrist n you’re like

“let me help”

his v*rgin brain just short circuits like $(*#$)(#@*#*)$(@#*$)(@#$*

R.I.P. Yamaguchi Tadashi 2020

damn we already lost daichi and now we lost yams too 😔🕊️ fly high

TOBE FLYYYY HIIIIGHHHH ASE TOTHIDONARIDADE

HIKARU SUBASEYO IMA ZENBU ZENBU FLYYYYYYYY

*raw guitar riffs going WIIUM WIIUM WAUUM WAUUM WIIUM*

Part I: Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Ennoshita

Part II: Kinoshita, Narita, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi

Part III: Kiyoko, Yachi, Ukai Keishin, Takeda

Part IV: Saeko Tanaka, Akiteru Tsukishima, Shimada, Takinoue

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mementomori-demimonde · 3 years

Text

Old Wounds

Hidden Scars: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI.1 / XI.2 XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX

Bonus Chapter (21):

Three years ago, you broke up with Miranda.

Or, to better say, three years ago, Miranda broke up with you.

After escaping Victor’s grasp and embarking on the flight headed to England, Miranda thought it was best for the two of you to be constantly moving around.

She easily procured fake IDs and documents and, as Mrs. & Mrs. O’Brien (so lame that you loved it), you checked in the most expensive hotels and made a mess of the room, only to be off the next day. Every bill was paid and the staff generously tipped, even though the money didn’t certainly come from your pockets as you didn’t have any: you found out it was fairly easy to transfer money around and trick the systems; at least all those hacking software lessons had proven useful, though you weren’t up to anything illegal - it was a matter of survivance, that was what you told yourself.

Life was wild and exciting, every morning you were someone slightly different while remaining the same, every night you got lost in the scent of her, only to be woken up by her fingers exploring your body.

Miranda was never satiated. And while it was only a matter of sex, before, there was something addicting, now, that flickered between the two of you.

It was something you thought was unbreakable. Something so rare to be born in such a hostile condition that it would be so hard to kill that nobody would even try to.

You thought.

Miranda lit up the day you reached Glasgow.

You could see her eyes gleaming, you could see her sharp fangs shining at the pale light of the sun as she dragged you around, showing you this and that, telling you about her childhood while turning a child herself, innocent and carefree and happy enough to be pulling you in and kiss you in the middle of the road.

You stayed in Glasgow for five months after that, because she thought you were both safe.

You decided to rent a small apartment next to the theater because, apparently, Miranda loved the theatre and you loved discovering things about her just as much as you loved watching her glow as she watched the show and the people acting or the orchestra playing.

You even convinced her to take yoga classes and, except for a couple of smashed glasses when she thought a waiter was ogling you, and an exploded pillow when her football team lost to the rigors, she seemed to have learned how to manage her anger pretty well.

Even her part-time job as a dog-sitter helped her keep her calmness, even to balance with the frustration she would accumulate during her other job as a consultant; of what, you never worked it out completely, you simply knew it was something to do with finance, probably internationally. Miranda didn’t like to talk about it excessively - the pay was good, she seemed satisfied with it - so you let her be.

As for you, when the first opportunity came out, you accepted it right away: as a receptionist of a luxury hotel, you had a fair amount of working hours, perfectly timed with Miranda, and you were able to bake breakfast for the both of you, pack your lunch boxes and be back before her to prepare dinner when Miranda didn’t surprise you, instead, with some take out and a lit candle.

She uncovered a nice, unexpected side of her, but sometimes she still was the scary old Miranda, even when it wasn’t necessary, to your opinion.

Whenever she acted bad, you served her a banana on a plate instead of a nice dinner you baked, to commemorate the first meal she had you eat. Miranda would pout, eat the banana in silence, and ask for forgiveness between the freshly cleaned sheets. This worked the other way around too, of course, with the exception that she enjoyed herself a little too much, sometimes, prolonging the punishment to something more than just a banana for dinner. Either way, everything was solved in bed. Not that you complained about this method, of course.

You thought you couldn’t be happier; but you thought you could never be any less happy either, and, of course, you were wrong.

It was a casual question you blurted out without much thought.

One night, you were watching a cheesy movie on tv, just for the fun of hearing her complain while she had her legs slung over yours, silently demanding for cuddles she would never admit to be requesting. As the couple on the screen kissed and cried happily, you said “have you ever thought about marriage?”

Miranda froze. You tried to explain that it meant nothing in particular, it was just conversation, but something in her eyes had changed.

She never answered the question.

Days went by and you could tell that something had painfully shifted between the two of you.

You tried to take it back, make her forget with some rough nights, just like she used to like it, but nothing worked.

Miranda wasn’t the same.

And then, one morning she was simply gone, without a single explanation.

After twelve days of waiting, you made peace with yourself that Miranda wouldn’t be coming back.

You started to hate everything you loved so quickly that even going out in the streets and hearing all those people talking Scottish made you sick, so taking the next decision wasn’t too hard, after all: you told Cecilia to mind the tabby cat Miranda pulled out a stray dog’s jaws and brought home for you to heal, vacated the apartment hotfoot and accepted the job as head manager of the hotel subsidiary in Rome, Italy.

After a few weeks, you realized the change was exactly what you needed: Rome was amazing, you like the people and, most of all, the food. You even decided to join a gym so you could keep eating the delicious meals the hotel chef cooked for the staff and when the weather was good, you went for a run, early in the morning, enjoying the sight of the city lazily waking up. Late in the night, before going to bed, you would flick your tear-drop-shaped dagger and put it in the top drawer in the nightstand, only to wear it the next day, because now you felt naked without its cold blade pressing against your leg. You dropped the habit of wearing it on your thigh - it wasn’t practical with your work attire - but strapped to your calf or pocketed inside your boot. You hated yourself for it, but it couldn’t be helped. You tried to convince yourself it was just in case you had to defend yourself - it was sensible since you had to walk by yourself most of the time.

All things considered, you fit in well.

Your apartment is good, with a nice view on the Tevere, the pay is almost double the one in Glasgow and you can allow yourself some treats, from time to time, whenever you feel too blue to stay in the apartment by yourself.

You contemplated the idea of getting a pet for a time, but you decided against it since that too would awaken sour thoughts.

You tried to date for a while, but nobody was enough.

Nobody compared to her.

Despite everything Miranda did to you, her memory was latched to your brain like a plague.

It still is.

Sometimes, only some heavy drinking can get her out of your head.

You weren’t on duty tonight, and while you’re coming back from a peaceful stroll, your colleague calls: there has been a great fuss in the hotel; he tells you about ambulances and police cars hurrying with the sirens blaring to arrest some psycho that attacked a woman in her room. A guy was shot, but you don’t register much about the events, nor do you ask for further information, eager to drop the argument and avoid some unpleasant memories rising in your mind. Guns, people attacking other people, blood… It’s all in the past.

Hurrying up the stairs and fishing in your purse for the keys, you barely notice that the door lock is slightly scratched.

You don’t pay attention to it, nor the way your key slides inside the hole, until you step inside your home, pawing at the switch, and the light doesn’t work.

Immediately, all your senses turn on, your eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, your ears eager to capture the smallest sound.

It’s the hair on the back of your neck that puts you in alarm. Rising for an imperceptible breath of wind, they notify of the imminent danger.

The next thing you feel is a strong arm wrapped around your throat, and a warm body pressed against your back.

The attacker clearly knows what they’re doing, but you do too.

Everything she taught you is stuck in your brain, branded on your bones.

In a flash, you lift your dominant leg just enough to grab the knife.

You plunge it into your attacker’s thigh without hesitation.

She - it’s a she - grunts in anger.

The hold of her elbow softens, her arm slides from your neck, her body moves abruptly from yours as she limps away, leaving you alone and scared, but in complete control of yourself.

“My, my. I am getting sloppy.” The voice sends chills down your spine. It’s warm, it’s smug, almost amused, and familiar. Terribly familiar.

Your heart, despite yourself, throbs painfully.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes from your lips.

“Good.” She says, “very good, m’eudail.”

Whatever doubt you might’ve had, now it’s completely gone. It’s not your mind playing tricks, associating a familiar event with a lost person, this is happening for real. Running away from England to another country, taking a new name, a new identity, rebuilding your life almost from zero has served you nothing: she still has found you.

“Miranda?”

Three years.

Three years you haven’t heard from this woman.

Three years you’ve tried to push it out of your head.

Three years of pretending it was just a nightmare.

Three years and she’s back as if it’s nothing, standing in your apartment like she owns the place. She does, in a way. Miranda still owns you, in the first place, whether you like it or not: it’s not your choice to make. Until Miranda decides to let you go, you’re hers. It’s inevitable. And you know, you feel it in your guts, that Miranda will never let you go.

Some exchange rings, some jump over an old broom; your ‘until death do us part’ was a carving in the shape of an M - not on wood or marble, but on flesh - and you wonder how could she be so scared of marriage in the first place if she, too, has made a promise for life.

She comes into the light pouring in from the windows: it’s sunset, and the streetlight has just been lightened up.

Like it’s no big deal, you watch her bend down and wrap her fingers around the handle of the knife and, with a quick motion, she pulls it out from her wounded flesh with minimum bleeding.

With a wince, you notice that her trousers are already stained with dried blood, mixing with the fresh one.

She straightens her back and bares her teeth into a crooked smile, her split lip glistening with droplets of crimson. It looks painful. She doesn’t seem to mind one bit. Her cheekbone is blooming with blue and purple, her throat bears a sore line around. Miranda wears her bruises as if it was makeup, proud and confident. And, oh, so beautiful like the night before she left.

You can’t help but feel concerned, which only adds to your frustration: you shouldn’t care about her, you shouldn’t feel so strongly about the blood running down her chin - she probably deserves it, and more - but you do care.

You watch her, powerless, as she stumbles toward the couch and lets herself fall unceremoniously on top of it, grunting as her bruised body slackens against the soft pillows. Her shirt is stained as well, her knuckles scraped.

“You’re beaten up.” You dumbly point out.

She lets out a dark chuckle and lolls her head back. Your eyes are drawn to the rhythmic movements of her throat as she swallows. You can almost taste the iron inside your own mouth - how many times she’s kissed you after a training session, how many times your sweat mingled with hers when you wondered if you were fighting or fucking.

It all felt so long ago and, still, it hurt like it was yesterday.

“Tried my best, but you can’t expect the featherweight to win against the heavyweight without a significantly favorable weapon. He was just a bigger psycho than me: came out on top, in the end.” Miranda murmurs, a smug expression deforming her features. “Victor, on the other hand-”

The name has your head spinning. His ugly mouse-face comes to visit on the blurry surface of your mirror every time you shower, the rough lines crossing your back are a distant yet a painful reminder of those days of imprisonment, confined in that small room with Miranda, uncovering her past, her job, her boss and his despicable ways. Those marks hurt, but not as much as it hurts the one on your left shoulder - not until now.

“You’ve gone back to work for him?”

After all you’ve been through, after all the pain he inflicted, after she promised to have him killed because he took it out on you, Miranda decided to still work with him. Betrayal didn’t even compare to what you felt.

How many things can change in three years? You lived a lifetime in two months, since Miranda kidnapped you. Three years, right now, are an eternity.

Miranda’s smile drops. Her blue eyes wander aimlessly around the room, stopping in a dark corner. They aren’t focused, but it’s easy for you to see the regret blaring in her lost gaze.

“It was what I am,” Miranda murmurs, her voice emotionless, “it was the only thing I knew.”

There’s a pregnant silence between the two of you. It feels like forever before you move your first step toward the couch, your gaze fixed on her as if you were trying to control a snake about to snap its vicious attack.

You know Miranda won’t move, not to attack you anyway, but you’re cautious when you speak.

“You’re talking in the past tense.”

“He’s dead now.” Miranda breathes out heavily. Her voice almost overlaps yours, as if she’s completely zoned out, not listening at all, unaware of her surroundings, as impossible as it seems. “I killed him, gave him what he deserved.”

The sheepish look she gives you is the sparkle that lits your flame. It doesn’t matter if Victor is dead now, the memories still haunt your dreams, and Miranda has gone back to work for him.

You feel cheated on, betrayed, and you still don’t know what she wants from you. Frustration builds up from within until you feel like exploding.

You would smack her and shake her by her shoulders if she wasn’t so bruised - and if she’d let you, of course, before succumbing to her strong arms and be stopped by force.

“Miranda, why are you here?” You would ask her to leave, tell her you can’t stand her sight… if only that was true. Angered beyond words by her persistent silence, you walk to her with heavy steps, until you’re in front of her, for the first time, towering her small figure on the couch. She looks frail, harmless, submissive, but you know she’s not any of those things. “Miranda-”

“Shut up.”

You don’t know how she’s managed that - if she’s pulled you down by the collar of your shirt, or hooked her fingers in your belt, or even hit the back of your knees with her foot - but you’re falling right onto her, like the controlled destruction of a building, collapsing right where the demolition expert planned. You try to catch yourself with one hand on either side of her head, fingers clawing the soft pad of the back cushion, even if it’s not necessary: of course, Miranda has caught you first.

Although ‘catch’ is not entirely correct. Her greedy fingers are grabbing your head, pulling more than supporting, and before you can realize what’s happening, her lips are on your mouth.

Oh, God, how much you missed her.

It’s not a nostalgic kiss, she’s not asking for forgiveness or awakening long-lost memories. Her lips are urgent, almost aggressive.

It’s like those three years never went by, as if a lot of things never happened: this one isn’t Miranda, but the mysterious woman who kidnapped you in the alley; she’s back to that unhinged creature that tortured you in the most pleasant ways, who turned a cage into paradoxical heaven where wrong was right and the pain was pleasure.

Too easily you fall back into the addicting spiral that bound you to her. You’re completely at her mercy, once again, with no power nor will to pull yourself out of it. Despite everything, you want more of her kisses, you want more of her touches, you want more of her, no matter if she’s rough or brutal - something of Miranda is still better than nothing.

Hungry hands travel fast from your face to your neck and, for a moment, you prepare to hold your breath thinking she will wrap her fingers around your throat to have you squirm in her lap, desperate for air, just to assert her total control, but you’re wrong. Miranda doesn’t stop: she paws possessively at your breasts, teasing your nipples through the coarse fabric - you hate a little how your body seems to react regardless of your mind, answering to her touch in all the right ways.

You always take minutes to remove your uniform, Miranda hasn’t taken more than one to leave you in your undergarments, confused and wondering if you were actually wearing something before she claimed ownership over you and your body, like always, like she was entitled since the beginning.

Her mouth travels fast, in tow, she nibbles and lavishes, sending electric sparks to your core.

You don’t dare speak, afraid that the spell will break, that you’ll wake up from a dream even though you don’t remember falling asleep, even if it feels real, so real, almost too real that you can’t bring yourself to renounce it.

The tip of her nose tickles the valley of your breasts when she kisses her way down your stomach and belly, her nails scratch dully at the small of your back, pulling your knickers down in one move.

You’ve never noticed how chill your apartment can be. Or maybe you’ve never been so hot before, within these walls.

Her mouth knows exactly where to tease you, her tongue touches all the right places and only in the right ways. Her body remembers everything, and at the same time, it feels new. She tastes you, pursuing the depths of you, almost as if she wants to drown right there and then.

Bare and vulnerable, you don’t even perceive the typical powering position on top of her; Miranda is always on top, also when she’s not.

You can only arch over her as she draws a hurried orgasm out of you, leaving you raw and trembling, your mind spiraling from contentment, nostalgia, and a deep sense of guilt and then back again, when her tongue doesn’t stop until she isn’t satisfied with a second climax, and a third.

It’s easy to lose count when Miranda is having her way. It’s easy to get lost and losing track of time and of yourself, it’s easy to set aside everything to chase her with your hips, desperate for everything and in everything.

She doesn’t allow you to catch your breath when she’s done. You barely catch a glimpse of her when she pulls away, working her jaw to relieve the soreness that has surely set in her muscles, but her eyes are elusive, disappointing you when you hoped to look at her and find the woman you know.

It’s just another confirmation that she is still somewhere else, at least in spirit.

You’ve learned to know her strength, despite her petite size, and yet you can’t prevent the surprised gasp that escapes your mouth when she pushes you off of her and into the couch on your front, so fast that you gape at the pillow below.

You struggle to adjust your head and tilt it to the side when you feel her climb on your thighs, her ripped legs grabbing yours with vicious force when she lowers herself, and despite being fully clothed, you can feel the heat from her core right below your bottom, where she sits.

You swallow in anticipation, shiver when her nails rake at your skin, and then, then everything stops. She pauses.

You feel all the tension leave the room like the fog lifting from the streets.

Her legs are looser when she shifts lower on your thighs, her hands are softer when she glides her fingers up the small of your back and they linger, for a moment too long, across your shoulder blades.

You want to say something, even say her name again, listen to your own voice calling Miranda while still striving to breathe, wearied by the pleasure her skilled tongue has brought you. But as soon as you take a small breath to speak, a startling weight on your back knocks the air out of your lungs.

You take a moment to comprehend that Miranda has leaned on the top of you, her chest rises and falls rhythmically against your back, her breath tickles your left shoulder and you blink at the fact that her cheek is probably resting on her carved initial, and not just by chance.

You mentally count three seconds in, three seconds out. Her warm breath sends shivers down your spine.

“Had to find you.”

It’s a murmur, barely a whisper, so small you even doubt you heard it for real or just in your head.

“What?”

You try to squirm from below, eager to watch her face, read in her eyes if she’s making fun of you in the cruelest of ways or not. Her voice has tricked you on many occasions… or not. Maybe it was her eyes. Maybe it’s better for both of you if you can’t cage into each other’s eyes.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relax your muscles, stop your hands from scrambling in the purchase of a steady surface to push yourself up and Miranda off of you.

It’s better this way: she won’t talk, otherwise.

“Thought I could do it.” She sighs, her lips move on your skin, leaving a moist halo around her lips. “Thing is… that I could.”

“You’re talking about-”

“Glasgow.” She snaps. You feel her clenching her jaw tight. “When we lived together.”

“You’re scared that you could live normally?”

Silence.

“You don’t understand.” She huffs. “People like me can’t usually walk away whenever they please and forget about their pasts.”

“But you did.” You retort. “We were fine.”

Miranda chuckles. It’s a bittersweet one, and it ends quickly.

“I was doing fine before you came.” She clarifies. It clarifies nothing, but you don’t dare to interrupt, fearing she’ll just walk away for good. “There’s a reason why so many have failed. No one was able to ruin me while I ruined them. No one was you.”

You can breathe easily now that Miranda has rolled off of you.

You turn to your side quickly, eager to follow her with your eyes and make sure she won’t take the door and never come back after such a declaration. Rare have been the times you’ve heard Miranda talk in such ways and you can only imagine what is the prelude for: something fatally bad, or something impossibly good.

In the forced darkness of your apartment, the blue of her eyes glows at the dim reflection of the streetlights.

Her voice echoes in your head.

When you initiate the kiss you’re surprised she doesn’t pull back. She doesn’t even complain. She doesn’t grab your face or the back of your neck, she doesn’t claim the lead.

It’s startling, and it’s a foreign sensation you’re not used to, at all.

You barely register the soft rustle of fabric as you chase her taste and mingle it with yours.

And then finally you feel her hands on yours, her slender fingers reaching for yours and sliding almost perfectly in between, like pieces of a puzzle.

She swallows your breathy moan.

You haven’t expected your hands to be drawn closer to the warmth of her body. She lets her fingers move to your wrists, she lets them loop around the protruding bone there - she doesn’t squeeze, she doesn’t pull nor push - leaving your pads free to roam over her stomach, through the small crack of her shirt, gliding over the taut skin of her abdomen. You feel new bumps, new scars perhaps.

She squirms when you push a little too hard against her hip bone.

Or, maybe, she doesn’t exactly squirm.

You feel her adjust, raising her pelvis off the couch, but not to ease discomfort.

Your fingertips slip easily beyond the band of her high-waist trousers.

Miranda doesn’t move.

She’s even stopped the kiss, letting you decide.

It’s an open invitation - a request, perhaps - to touch her, properly, like you’ve been asking, for weeks, silently, before you decided to voice your thoughts and your feelings.

Everything went downhill from there.

Your breath catches, the long-awaited moment feeling so terrifying, now, that you can’t bring yourself to just stop thinking and follow your guts, your innermost desires, to claim what has been denied to you for so long.

Miranda wouldn’t have hesitated. She didn’t hesitate to take when she wanted and could.

Thing is, you’re not her.

You pull away from her in a blink, your fingers tingle with unsatisfied electricity when you hide your face in your hands.

“Miranda.” You growl. Your voice comes out muffled from behind your palms. You’d want to yell at her, berate her, but it only comes out desperate, you sound on the verge of crying. Maybe you are. “What are you doing?”

Her hands are touching your wrists again. She’s gentle. More than she’s ever been. She forces you to unpeel your hands from your face.

In the dim light from the streetlights, her eyes shine again. They seem full of unshed tears, but you don’t want to fool yourself with dull illusions that don’t belong, with every possibility, to either of you.

Miranda doesn’t talk. You know it, you can see it, there’s a whole universe of things she’s dying to say, and still… she doesn’t speak.

You let out a shaky breath, sit lower on her legs, your gazes locked.

“Miranda, what’s your point?” You try again, softer this time.

She opens her mouth to speak then, only to close it soon after with a frustrated sigh.

You can’t endure more of it. You’re too spent to keep playing.

Miranda speaks only when you push yourself off of her, trying to stand up.

“My point is- I’m done.” She huffs out a disbelieving chuckle as if it’s the first time she’s told that, to herself even; the first time she’s truly grasped the idea and made it final. “I’ve got tons of money now and I can leave it all behind.”

“Miranda-”

“We can leave it all behind.” She corrects. One of her hands slithers to the small of your back, pushing you down to keep you near. It’s confident but for the first time, somehow, it’s not possessive. “Start over, for real.”

You swallow a mouthful of sand. Your head is spinning. You even wonder if something has possessed Miranda’s body and has turned her into some normal person who is actually repentant and is willing to start over.

How much can a person change in three years? Does it also apply to Miranda? The rules of mortals apply to such mysterious creatures like her?

You’re about to ask for a moment when you hear a distinct mew.

“What the fuck-” You startle, snapping your head toward the kitchen. It’s hard to see, but there’s definitely something on the counter. A box, maybe a crate. With something furry poking out. “You brought the cat?!”

Miranda’s lips are crooked into a sheepish smile when you look back at her.

“Please?” She whispers. Her voice is velvety against your lips, so close you could answer with a kiss. “What do you say?”

Maybe you will answer with a kiss.

Maybe.

#miranda croft x reader #miranda croft #tfa #the flight attendant #fanfiction #reader insert #ao3 #archive of our own #bonus chapter #complete #four lines #hidden scars #old wounds #michelle gomez

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moonknightly · 4 years

Text

Could Feel You Surrounding Me : Santiago “Pope” Garcia x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Excerpt: “Thinking about the aftermath almost felt like giving yourself false hope. You didn’t want to think about the future until you knew for certain that Santi was in the clear.”

Warnings: Uhh mentions of injury, blood, cursing. That’s it I think? This one has a happy ending fellas!

The first emotion you experience is shock. It’s unfathomable, how someone you love and care for so deeply, with every inch of your being, could be at the forefront of a situation you thought only existed in dramatized TV shows — under harsh lights, covered in bandages that turn from white to red and only do so much to hide the cuts and the bruises that mark their skin. Attached to various tubes, drains, and IV lines. So many different wires.

The sight is near unbearable, and it doesn’t get any easier, no matter how many hours or even days pass by in a blur of fast-moving staff wearing stethoscopes and scrubs. And everytime you close your eyes, you tell yourself that once you open them again, you’ll finally be used to it. You tell yourself it’s not gonna hurt as bad this time, but it’s even harder than it was before.

And the sounds. God, the sounds. The unfamiliar, almost haunting beeps and buzzes that start to become a comfort because they serve as the only reminder that they’re still there. The excruciating and traumatic cries of a family’s hearts breaking from down the hall mixed with rare periods of somber silence. The rapid-fire exchange of incomprehensible medical terminology, so many different medications and diagnoses and explanations that you just can’t wrap your head around.

It starts with the shock, because while you knew that this reality existed outside of those damned TV shows, and while you were aware of the possibility of having to live it yourself, given his line of work, you never thought you would actually have to face seeing Santi lying in the ICU like this.

Because he promised. Each and every single time he went out on a mission, he promised you that he’d come home to you, safe and sound and in one piece. And Santiago never broke his promises. Not a damn one.

But it had been a freak accident, and he hadn’t even been on a mission, and that was probably what freaked you out the most. The new realization that it could happen at any given moment, at any given time in any given circumstance.

All of the sleepless nights spent in your empty bed, praying to any divine being that would listen, worrying over his safety and just wishing him home, and he’d managed to land himself in this position during a boy’s trip into the mountains for a little leisurely camping.

They’d been rock climbing, something they were all five well-trained in, but the rope had been settled against a rock with a rather sharp edge, and the constant pulling of his weight had cut straight through it. It was a fall that he was lucky to survive. The paramedics who arrived on scene hadn’t expected to find him alive, and definitely hadn’t expected him to come back once he needed to be resuscitated.

His neglect to check the ridge was something that seemed so out of character for both him and the other boys. No detail was ever overlooked. It was hard for you to believe that he hadn’t noticed how sharp the edge of the rock had been, but you also knew Santi — he never would have thought it would happen to him

There were several things the nurses told you that you didn’t quite understand, and honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to ask them to clarify, or put it into words that actually made sense. As ignorant as it was, you almost didn’t want to understand. You didn’t want to focus on all of his injuries and the no doubt long recovery ahead until he opened those big brown eyes of his that you so adored and kept them open.

Thinking about the aftermath almost felt like giving yourself false hope. You didn’t want to think about the future until you knew for certain that Santi was in the clear.

What you did understand was that he had several broken ribs, some injuries to his spinal cord, and a moderate traumatic brain injury amongst other things blunt force trauma to his abdomen and chest caused. He’d needed a blood transfusion down in the ER, and he was on so many different medications, you couldn’t keep up.

They’d sedated him after a mild seizure, keeping him in a medically induced coma for the first two days before waking him again. He hadn’t been able to stay awake for long though, and while your eyes had briefly met, you don’t think he really registered who you were or what was going on.

It was day four now, and he was breathing on his own. He was waking up unprompted more and more, usually to vomit, but would fall back asleep after only a minute or two. Sometimes he would glance towards you as if to make sure that someone was still with him, sometimes he would only blink at the ceiling. He’d move, but only if a nurse asked him to touch his nose or wiggle his toes, and he hadn’t said a word.

But neither had you. Each time he looked at you, you could only stare back, blinking away your tears until you were sure he was asleep again. Only then would you let yourself cry, and fuck, did you cry. You were sure you had cried more in the last four days than you ever had before.

Only one person was allowed in the room at a time, and the only time you left his side was to let one of the boys visit. Frankie usually sat with you in the cafeteria while the other three took their turns, trying to get you to eat something, but he’d convinced you to use the time that day to run home and get a shower in, and grab yourself some clothes and other things you’d need since it was apparent you wouldn’t be leaving. He knew no one other than Santiago could convince you to stay the night in your own home rather than in the recliner by his bedside.

Frankie also knew that as brave as Pope was, he’d want you next to him through it all. He’d be heartbroken if he woke up and you weren’t there.

You’d be just as torn up over it.

A nurse checked on him every hour, and it was this particular nurse’s last round before shift change. You liked her. Her name was Casey, and she was always so gentle with him. It was obvious that she actually cared about her patients, not just for them, and you appreciated it to no end, words failing every time you tried to properly thank her. You knew the comfort was something he needed, something you were still too scared to give him. You were afraid to touch him, so terrified that you’d hurt him or cause him even an ounce of discomfort. You hadn’t even touched his hand.

But, it was something you needed to get over. You both needed it.

You watched as she worked around him, checking to make sure everything was still in place, double checking it even after she was sure nothing had wiggled its way loose. She peeked over her shoulder towards you. “The doctors are bringing in an occupational therapist tomorrow.”

“For what?” you asked, shifting in your chair, eyes flickering between her and Santi.

“We’re hoping to keep him awake long enough to get him to write a few things down. See if communicating that way is a possibility. And if not that, maybe we can get him to point at a chart with different letters to spell things out.”

You shifted again. “Is he ready for that?”

“The doctors seem to think so. The longer he stays awake, the better we can gauge where he’s at cognitively.”

You stayed silent at that, your stomach flipping as another bout of fear moved through you.

Casey seemed to know exactly where your head was at though, and she stopped momentarily to reach back and set a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“He’s expected to make a full recovery sweetheart. I’m not the type to believe in miracles and things like that, but given what he’s already pulled himself through, he’s one lucky man.”

You smiled gently, putting your hand over hers, but a frown quickly worked its way back onto your face. “I’m just scared he doesn’t recognize me. Every time he looks at me, it’s almost like he’s looking through me.”

“And does that make you love him any less?”

You were taken aback by her words, completely shocked. But you immediately shook your head, eyebrows furrowing. “Of course not.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it’s not his fault.” Your answer was again immediate. “Because he just went through some shit and it’s not his fault at all. I vowed to love him for better or for worse, and that wasn’t a promise either of us took lightly.”

“Exactly,” she shrugged, pointing to him. “Because that’s still your husband. He’s still your Santiago. There’s just a few kinks to work out, and even if those kinks did become permanent, you’d still love him, right?.”

“Absolutely.”

“Then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

You knew she was right. You knew that even if he didn’t recognize you at first, the doctors were near positive that he would eventually. And even if he didn’t, and he had to relearn you completely, it’d be worth it. Because at least he was still alive, still breathing. You still had him.

“Thank you.”

Casey smiled, smiling and squeezing your shoulder gently before turning her attention back to Santiago.

Once she was finished, she turned towards you again, tilting her head to the side. “You know, he could really use a bath. And I think he’d appreciate it if you were the one to do it instead of me.”

The smirk on her face was entirely noticeable, and you knew exactly what she was doing, but you still nodded your head, suddenly craving the physical contact, that connection.

“Great,” she hummed, leaving the room to grab the supplies you would need in order to give him a sponge bath.

She returned a moment letter with a cloth, some soap and deodorant, and a basin of water, instructing you to stay clear of any bandages, and to not worry about his hair. If he woke up, you could try to wash his back, but otherwise she didn’t want you to worry about that either. You nodded your head, listening intently even though it was all pretty straightforward. She turned off the bed alarm, showing you which button to press once you got up again, and left the room.

Once Casey was gone, you took a moment to just stare at him, even though you hadn’t truly looked at anything else in the last four days. He looked better than he had when you first saw him, really. He had some color back in his cheeks, and the lines on his forehead had smoothed out. He looked almost peaceful.

You sighed gently, giving yourself one final push before stepping forward, carefully peeling the blanket and the sheet away from his body.

Should you try to wake him? Or would it be better for you to just go for it? You decided on the latter, thinking it would be better if he woke up on his own accord. If he stayed asleep, then it was obvious his body needed it.

“Hey, sweet boy,” you whispered as you sat down on the edge of the bed, pushing a few sweat soaked curls away from his forehead. “I’d ask how you’re doing but that seems a little redundant right now.”

You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as you reached for the cloth, wetting it and applying a little bit of soap. You started on his arms, staying away from his IV and the bandage near his elbow. Your touch was gentle, slow, but the feeling of his skin under your fingertips after not feeling it for days set both your body and soul ablaze, chest so full of love and something else that you couldn’t quite place. Relief, maybe? You didn’t know.

“The boys have been in and out,” you continued, even though he couldn’t hear you. You just wanted to talk to him. “Frankie told me you woke up for a second the last time he was in here. He cried a little bit, but he’s never gonna admit it.”

You hesitated, moving to untie the hospital gown as much as you could, pulling it down just enough to reveal his chest, being extremely careful not to accidentally disconnect a wire for the heart monitor. You started on his upper arms.

“The boys feel like shit. They all think there was something they could’ve done to prevent it, even though everyone knows it was just a stupid accident. Benny’s taking it really hard.”

You brought your free hand to his lower stomach, your fingertips tracing random shapes and patterns into his skin as you moved the cloth over his right shoulder, your eyes glued to your movements.

“I miss you so much,” you sighed, shaking your head slowly. “I mean, I know you’re right fucking here, but you know what I mean. I miss your hugs, your kisses. Your voice. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes of yours.”

The tears started before you even had a chance to realize. You could feel them trailing down your cheeks, falling onto the sheets below.

“I just really need you to be okay, you hear me baby? I need you.”

Your voice cracked, and you felt yourself begin to shake, the sobs moving through your body with relentless force. You made yourself stay quiet though, not wanting to scare a nurse or a family down the hall, or even Santi himself.

Nothing had ever been so hard. This entire experience had been more than difficult, but as you sat there, thinking about how things could have gone in an entirely different direction, and how you could have walked away a widow instead of a wife, you realized exactly how true Casey’s words had been. Santi really was lucky, and so were you.

And if this was hard for you, you couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be for him once he was fully conscious again, and able to make sense of everything that he’d been through. The doctors were still unsure of just how far his brain injury ran, but they were sure there were things that would take time to come back to him — like his ability to speak, possibly his ability to walk. They predicted that he’d have migraines for months. Light sensitivity, some dizziness and confusion that could last just as long. Fatigue, general weakness. Pain. His recovery was going to be hell, and there you were, having sat by his bedside for four days feeling sorry for yourself.

How could you have been so selfish? In a time where your husband needed you most?

You felt selfish even crying, but you couldn’t stop. The tears just kept pouring, and the hole in your chest grew and grew as you continued to spiral deeper and deeper into your thoughts.

You were only pulled from them when you felt a set of knuckles gently brush against your cheek, and for a moment, you thought one of the boys had managed to sneak their way in, or maybe it was even Casey coming to check in one last time before heading home for the night.

The last thing you expected to see when you blinked your eyes open was a familiar pair of warm brown ones staring right back at you.

Brown eyes full of recognition and worry.

You gasped, not able to stop the sound before it left your lips, but you did refrain from throwing your arms around him, knowing the action would probably hurt him or knock something loose. Instead, you reached up, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

“Santi?”

He blinked a couple of times, looking as if he wanted to say something in response, but he could only frown, and you knew him well enough to notice that his inability to speak was already frustrating him.

But you almost took that as a good thing, because it showed that he remembered waking up before, and how he hadn’t been able to speak any of those times either. The fact that he remembered was good, right?

And he might not have been able to verbally speak, but there were still so many things he could say without words. You felt him squeeze your hand, three times — a silent “I love you”, something he had started doing not long after saying it to you for the first time.

“I love you too, baby. I love you so much.”

He pulled on your hand, trying to bring you closer to him, and you started to shake your head, still worried about hurting him.

“Santi, no-”

This time he gently smacked your hand, effectively silencing you as he pointed to his shoulder, and you knew what he was trying to tell you — you wouldn’t hurt him if you were only lying against his shoulder.

He knew exactly what you were thinking without you needing to speak, too.

And you couldn’t deny him, not when he was looking at you with those puppy dog eyes he knew would get him anything he wanted.

You tossed the washcloth back into the water, and pulled his gown back up, redoing the ties before scooting further up the bed. You made sure that everything was out of the way before leaning back against him, keeping your eyes trained on his face the entire time. Only when he didn’t flinch did you finally relax.

And you both simply laid there, staring at one another, letting your eyes do all of the talking. Neither of you looked away, not even once. Not until Santi’s eyes started to close again, his exhaustion taking over once more. You kissed the corner of his mouth, and you watched as his lips twitched upwards into a small smile before he gave into unconsciousness.

He’d managed to stay awake for over half an hour this go around, and for twenty minutes the next time he woke up, and another twenty after that.

And when morning came and Casey walked into the room for the first round of her shift, all she could do was smile.

Santiago was awake again, and you were the one asleep, lightly snoring from your place on his shoulder, looking so completely at peace.

And he was looking at you like he was the luckiest man alive.

#santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier imagine

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

Note

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words!

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone.

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun).

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH.

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit.

#spn #spn fic #tfw 2.0 #treknatural

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royaltee98 · 3 years

Text

The worst sickle cell crisis

September 25-October 3.2021

Saturday September 25.2021

This was Sunday 2:00 in the morning mom just finished changing my foot and I was watching the golden girls.I fell asleep for a few minutes feeling this awful pain in my lower back I called my dad to tell him that I was having pain and to tell mom but instead I called her. She came over and laid with me rubbing my back and gave me some Motrin, until the next morning…. to be continued

Sunday September 26.2021

This was Saturday afternoon I told my dad I was going to shower while in the shower I wasn’t feeling so good I had to rush and wrap myself in a towel and go sat under the ac because I was feeling very tired and shaking. My mom came in my room and said I didn’t so good, still in awful pain I had a nail appointment that I made last week so I went with mom feeling ok, it took like 30 minutes to do. I got back in the car feeling very tired again, I walked into my house put my stuff down I crawled into bed and continued to watched golden girls I fell asleep again and mom was still rubbing my back. I just couldn’t get comfortable I was moving all my bed.

My mom said do you want to go hospital I immediately said yes it was so hard to get dress my mom helped me while getting the hospital bag ready. I was in so pain it was very difficult to walk so my dad swung me over his shoulders and put me in my mom cars. While driving to the hospital I felt every single stop, bump, and turn in the road. I was crying”. I need relief, I need fast” for me to say that means the pain was sky high. Couldn’t get comfortable always turning and sitting still was so hard in the car.

I got to the emergency room at this point the pain was beyond a 10 more like 10,000 I felt like drawing out of my skin and curling up into a ball until the pain was 100% gone. Once I got in the back and the nurses started an IV for fluids I got strong *pain medication. I would sleep for 10 minutes and right back up balling crying, turning, asking for more relief.

I was being transferred to the 3 floor which was orthopedic floor with a clean hospital bed. I was going in and out of pain in between trying to sleep to the prior medication I was given back at home. My mom was always rubbing my back, hips, and legs. Getting up to use the restroom felt like my legs were set on fire and about to break at any moment. I spent that night and half the that next morning in so much pain and agony.

Monday September 27. 2021

It was the next morning still in was much pain. I did a chest X-ray and take and *nebulizer breathing treatment. This sweet nurse told my mom and I, I needed to be *I.C.U because my oxygen level was at a 45 and had pneumonia, no one on this planet earth should be at a 45. SIDE-NOTE: I cried but I remember when my auntie I wasn’t allowed in the ICU to say my goodbyes because I was to young I was 14 when she pass away from cancer. My body was asking for help and I was transferred to the I.C.U. Once I got into the ICU the nurses put me on the this *high flow oxygen machine. It felt like I was growing in my air the oxygen was going so fast up my nose and the taste was horrible.

I really didn’t have an appetite but I knew I eat something so I won’t have another on my hands. I took a few bites for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Still coughing, in an *active sickle cell crisis , pain was going on. I was in misery I just wanted home to see my sister.

Tuesday September 28. 2021

This morning I did so much such as go get a *CAT scan, do a *echocardiography and I need to use the restroom today. The nurse get a wheelchair for me, it felt so good to come out of ICU. I did a CAT scan before so I was use to it. I got to my room I made a thumbs up gesture to my mom. A few hours went then the echocardiogram technician came to my room, I was pretty nosey she allowed me to look. I asked questions because I was curious the way my heart sounded when she put on the audio gave me more power to fight my way out of the ICU.

The pain management doctor came to ask how is my pain and have went yet. I said my pain is ok and no I haven’t went he said ok and said that he would make a medical mixture for me. I was ok with that.

For rest of the day doctors and different labs techincan came in my room.

Wednesday September 29. 2021

I sat up the chair cause the bed was staring to get uncomfortable and by this time I haven’t went to bathroom and it was kind of getting painful by I still needed eat still taking a few bites of breakfast and I said to my mom that my stomach was hurting. In the ICU there is a little separator dividing the room in the corner was a toilet. ⚠️ TMI ⚠️ Ever since I was born I suffered and still suffer from constipation. That morning I took the mixture pill with my other medication. Let me tell you when I sat on that toilet it was like WW3 I could destroy the whole of Afghanistan the smell that came out my body could have taken me out. It went on for some time back to back ever for the next few days.

After I went I was so hungry any time a nurse came in and ask me if I wanted anything I said yes I usually got ginger ale and chocolate pudding, I love me some snack pack chocolate pudding.

I want to shoutout to my mom because I had so many wires on me, she did everything for me if you know what I mean 😉

Every hour my nurse came to check on me and my mom and ever 4 hours to me my iv medication and if I needed any pain medication. I started to wean off the pain medication because I didn’t want to get addicted to them but if I needed I would ask politely.

I had to sleep on my left side because I had the pneumonia was in my right lung. So I facing the door to my room I prayed to God basically saying: Dear God, please heal my lung so I can get out of ICU and to be able to see my sister and dad. I know that you can do it I believe in you.

Thursday September 30. 2021

Still in the ICU feeling much still can’t take a deep breath but I was working on the *breathing spirometer that is mess felt like hell. More doctors came in to update me and my mom, they said I looked perfectly fine but my CAT scan and X-ray was showing that I had fluid overload, a small amount of fluid around of heart, and pneumonia.

In my head I was like I need to get out of here. Still working on the breathing barometer trying to cleat my lung coughing like a maniac and sitting up off my lungs.

That night the new season of station 19 and grey anatomy came on so my mom and I watched while I ate my hospital dinner and mom had her dinner. After that I FaceTime my sister as I did ever night in hospital saying goodnight and making jokes I say goodnight and can’t wait to get home to her.

Ever other night my mom changes my wound I had of 10 years now; she was coming to the end of wrapping the rolled gauze around my foot. Around the same time the I got a new night shift nurse she would so sweet and her charge nurse pass her a piece of paper. She read it and wrote on my room board 2258 and said that I was switching floors. At that moment I knew God heard my prayer for the night before I was so excited that I was moving rooms.

My mom stared to packed our belongs and checking the room to see if we had left anything in the cabinet.

Friday October 1 2021

It was barley 1:00 in the morning on our way to the new floor. This floor was called *PCU entering our new room 2258 where we spent the next three days in. I told my mom one day closer to seeing my sister; the nurses slid me over to my new bed which was super uncomfortable. Now on this new floor between 12 and 4 they you sleep which was very comforting to hear.

I really didn’t sleep cause cause there was lab technicians taking my blood and nurses taking vitals sign. Once the sun came up my mom and I started to get up. I had such an appetite I ate all of my breakfast and was still hungry but my mom kept a sash of little snack from previous breakfast, Lunch, and dinner trays that I didn’t eat prior to being backed up so I had my favorite combo ginger ale and snack pack chocolate pudding.

The same doctor from the ICU came up was updated my mom and I still looked fine on the outside but the inside was still acting up. After they left I did so research why are keeping it is because I had a low grade fever due to pneumonia that’s all.

The physical therapist came in to work with me and my limp due to the wound I had and still have for 10 years. I walked the entire PCU floor, basic excise like in and out kicks, stepping in place, hip opener, and muscle resistance.

The more I felt better the more food was on my hospital food tray that night for dinner I had pasta and meatball with ice tea, and chocolate pudding. For the rest of night my mom and I watched tv and was heading to bed.

Saturday October 2. 2021

That morning my mom and I had a mission I was to freshen up, take my meds, let the nurses give me my Iv antibiotic and we were going for a walk on the PCU floor. After all that I decided to sit up in the chair again. The doctors came in and still I was feeling better but the x-rays were getting clearer still had pneumonia but I since couching and using my breathing barometer is was getting better. They wanted to still keep me over night to watch me for any fever spikes.

The fever spikes will only happened at 12:00 in the night so they still concerned about that. Physical therapist came to walked me and this time I didn’t even realized that I walked the over floor I was going my speed like yesterday but it seemed faster.

My dad stopped by to give me some really pretty flowers and to relieve my mom so she can go home and freshen up and checked on to my sister. My dad and I went for a walk and by the time we finished she was on her back to the hospital. She brought Popeyes and we watched the movie Selena I almost cried because I heard how she died by never got to watch it, it was the older one with Jennifer Lopez.

We continue to watch tv as we went to bed.

Sunday October 3 .2021

This was the morning I felt that I was going to be discharged form the hospital and on our way home. For breakfast I had some pancakes and sausage to drink I had some orange juice and the nurse gave me my medication and I was just chilling. The doctors came in by now it was just the fever spikes at night was reason they kept me an extra night. The nurse I had was trying to discharge me I really appreciated that.

Lunch time had just begun at the same time the nurse had came into my room to tell me I had been discharged in mid bite of my pasta and meatball I just felt it I was so happy to see my sister and dad. She said do you want to finish your lunch or just want to be discharge I said I wanted to be discharged so she was took off my heart monitor, pulse oximeter, and the IV I had.

She read me my discharge papers that I had to sign after that she went to go get a wheelchair and my mom went ahead down to get the car. For a moment I was left in the room by myself I turned on some gospel music and was praising God and thanking him for bringing me out of this one.

I told my mom to not to tell my dad I was being discharged cause I wanted to surprise him. He even called me I said the I using the bathroom the truth was I was sitting sign my discharge papers. While being rolled down to the lobby I kept thanking God for all his had done.

Pulling up to my house I got out of the car rang the doorbell and my dad opened the door and was so surprised and my sister was still sleeping so I waited until she had gotten up to tell her that I was in the ICU she just was surprised.

Now it has been four days I been home feeling much better still keeping up on my water intake and taking my temperature, oxygen levels and working on my breathing spirometer. God has and will forever been by my family and I side in times of needs he is just so good, caring, loving, merciful. Thank you God.

*pain medication: Dilaudid: treat moderate to severe pain

*nebulizer: A device for producing a fine spray of liquid, used for example for inhaling a medicinal drug

*I.C.U: a unit in a hospital providing intensive care for critically ill or injured patients that is staffed by specially trained medical personnel and has equipment that allows for continuous monitoring and life support

*high flow oxygen machine: Only offered if traditional oxygen therapy isn't helping, high flow oxygen therapy helps reduce the effort your body needs to put into breathing. By decreasing the effort of breathing and creating a small amount of positive pressure in the upper airways, this therapy helps improve oxygen delivery.

*active sickle cell crisis (in my opinion): is the pain the starts you feel it as the bad cells dies off

*CAT scan: n X-ray image made using a form of tomography in which a computer controls the motion of the X-ray source and detectors, processes the data, and produces the image.

*echocardiogram:a test of the action of the heart using ultrasound waves to produce a visual display, used for the diagnosis or monitoring of heart disease.

*breathing Spirometer:a common office test used to assess how well your lungs work by measuring how much air you inhale, how much you exhale and how quickly you exhale.

*PCU: The Progressive Care Unit or PCU is a telemetry (vital signs) monitored unit that provides care for adult patients requiring continuous cardiac monitoring

Love T.B.❤️

#sicklecellwarriors

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aciid-eater · 4 years

Text

“First meetings”

Shishio Tsukasa x reader

Warning: none

Summary: Y/n meets Tsukasa for the first time when she stays a little too late at the hospital.

__________________________________________

"Come on Mirai, I know you can do this!" Y/n stated encouragingly, shaking fists in excitement. The younger girl sitting across from her lifted her head to look at y/n. Y/n locker eyes with her and smiled, causing Mirai to look back down at the table in determination. The two were placed in a fairly large hospital room, sitting at a small table in the corner by the large window.

The child, Mirai, was hooked up to a mobile IV, dressing in a pink hospital gown. The table was littered in papers with simple math problems on them. Y/n watched intently as Mirai muttered to herself before turning back to y/n, her blonde hair bouncing with her movement.

"23..?" She muttered unsurly.

"Yes! You did it, I'm so proud of you!" Y/n cheered, as a beautiful smile graced her features. Mirai giggled, her confidence boosted just a little.

Y/n looked over to the clock on the wall, it was almost 8:30. She stood and began packing things up into her bag.

"I gotta go chickadee." Y/n stated. Mirai whined.

"But it's almost nine, onii-chan will be here soon, I want you to meet him." She pouted.

"Maybe another day, okay? I have to go, but I'll be here on Wednesday." Y/n said, swinging her bag around her shoulders.

"Why not tomorrow?" Mirai asked.

"Because I have a show, I won't be done until 8pm." She replied.

"Can I go? I've never seen one of your shows before." Mirai shakingly stood, pulling her IV stand along with her as she paced over to pull on y/n's jacket.

"Pleeeeeeease."

Y/n looked down at the blonde girl's puppy eyes in sympathy.

"I'll tell you what." She began, squatting down to the girl's level. "Take this, and if you can convince your Onii-chan to bring you, I promise it will be a show you'll never forget." Y/n stated, handing the girl a business card.

"Oh thank you, n/n thank you so much!" Mirai cried, clutching the card to her chest.

Now past the small delay, y/n was finally ready to leave the hospital, as she turned to the door, the handle rattled. Y/n froze, she stayed too late. Cursing at herself for getting to occupied with teaching Mirai math, she frantically began fixing her clothes. It would be weird to explain to someone why you spent so much time helping their little sister when you weren't affiliated with either of them. Y/n had been volunteering for Mirai for months and not once had she met Mirai's brother.

Finally the door swung open.

"Onii-chan!!" Mirai yelled in glee.

Standing in the doorway was a face y/n knew all too well. Tsukasa Shishio, the strongest high school primate. She had seen him online and on TV and she often heard her female classmates gushing over him during school. He was tall with broad shoulders, his posture was demanding and his built arms flexed under the sleeves of his school uniform. Y/n was still frozen, the words she planned to say caught in her throat. Shishio, why hadn't she noticed that name before?

Shishio's face softened at the words of his sister, then hardened again as he took sight of the stranger in the room.

"Who are you?" He asked curtly, voice hard but smooth at the same time.

"I-I was just g-"

"This is n/n-chan!" Mirai cheered. Shishio steadily walked over to the two, unintentionally towering over y/n.

"I-I'm y/n, s-sir, y/n l/n" she stammered.

"Sir?" He chuckled humorlessly "Call me Shishio, we're basically the same age."

"O-Okay." Shishio was horribly intimidating, yet so very beautiful, more than she had ever seen online. His entire look was so conflicting. His eyebrows were harsh, but his eye lashes were delicate. His muscles were huge, but his hands were gentle as he lifted his sister into him arms, moving her over to her hospital bed.

"Goodnight Onii-chan, goodnight n/n." Mirai mumbled as Shishio tucked her in.

"Goodnight chickadee, I'll see you when I do." Y/n said quickly, bee-lining to the door.

"L/n." The way he said her name made a chill run down her spine.

"Y-yes?"

"May I speak to you outside?" Y/n turned around to meet Shishio's eyes. He had a soft smile placed on his face, but his eyes were cold. Y/n gulped.

"Of course."

As soon as the two were in the hallway and the door was shut, Shishio's smile disappeared. He lifted his head and peered down at y/n through his eyelashes.

"So you're the one that has been with my sister all this time?"

"Y-yes." Y/n squeaked. Her palms were sweating as she was terrified out of her mind.

"Might I ask why?" Y/n shut her eyes tightly and lowered her head a little. Her speech was quick and uneven.

"I-I've been volunteering here for a while a-and I met Mirai on one of my s-shifts. I had taken a liken to h-her because she reminded me of my own s-sister and I s-saw that she needed a t-tutor. I apologize, I didn't intend to intrude and I w-won't make the mistake again I-"

"L/n." Y/n shut up immediately, slowly opening her eyes to see Shishio looking at her with a sympathetic almost ashamed look in his eye.

"Don't be ridiculous, you haven't intruded on anything. I was just a little skeptical, Mirai is very important to me." He stated. Y/n unclenched, slowly relaxing her body.

"I don't blame you. I would be too." She said softly, her voice reminding him of a softness he'd known not before.

"If anything, I should be thanking you. I'm glad someone is here with her all day when I cannot be. I try to stay here as much as I can, but that's not as often as I wish it was." He said.

"Well she's lovely to be around, and quite my favorite here." Y/n was fully relaxed, but still not able to look Shishio in the eyes for longer than a second.

Shishio noticed. He noticed how tense and nervous she was around him. How her body clenched into a fight or flight stance as she talked. Now calmer, she still couldn't hold eye contact with him. Was he that scary? He had only ever seen fear in the eyes of his opponents, never in the eyes of Mirai or those of the girls that ogled after him. So this was new.

"I-I'm sorry, for scaring you just now. Maybe I could take you to a cafe or a park sometime, as an apology, and a thank you?"

The girl relaxed a little more, a small smile formed on her lips.

"That sounds nice. I-I'll get right back to you, promise, but I must be getting home. It's dark out and I want to get inside before it gets too late." She said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"oh yes, don't let me hold you up." Shishio stated.

"Goodnight Shishio, I'll see you when I do." Y/n walked away from the male a little too quickly, leaving him to smile softly at her nature and reminisce on the lovely way she said his name.

#dr.stone #anime fanfiction #Dr.Stone fanfiction #Tsukasa #shishio tsukasa #shishio tsukasa x reader #tsukasa x reader #x reader #fluff

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florence-is-gay · 3 years

Text

I made a ship fanfic for florence’s oc and mine. Have it.

“Hey, Lulu! Wake up!”

Lumine slowly opened her eyes, to see Bottle grinning ear to ear at her.

“What is it BB?” She said, leaning up from her bed to stare at her lover.

“As you know, its been raining for quite a long bit, and i was bored in the middle of the night. I was then reminded of this tv show where the main characters tried golfing when it was raining, and basically-“ He sat down onto Lumine’s bed as she saw that Bottle made an entire mini golf course inside of their house.

“-I couldnt sleep and was bored so i made this, simply put.” Bottle said, extending his arm to express the vast quantity of mini golf he made.

Lumine was still trying to wake up, but was impressed at what bottle had made. “I love it, honey!” She said, proceeding it with a stifled yawn.

“Thanks! I also made you some breakfast because i still had some free time after i finished the golf course.” He said, hugging Lumine with one hand and grabbing a plate of hash browns and bacon with another. “Now eat up, because i honestly want to try and play some mini golf because im exited to see how someone else would think of this!”

“It looks great from what i can see! Lumine said, as she quickly kissed bottle.

Lumine, still slightly tired, took a bit of time to eat her food, but scarfed it down once she woke up a bit more. It was honestly a tad bit burnt, but she didnt mind. Bottle made this stuff for her out of love and she didnt care if it wasnt perfect. Love already made it perfect.

When she was done eating, she gently placed her food on her bed and got up. As she was about to leave their room, though, Bottle suddenly opened the door, seeming even more giddy and exited than before.

“Lulu, guess what?”

With a quick chuckle, lumine answered with an over enthusiastic “What, honey?”

“We didnt have golf stuff so i bought us some, and i also got us-“ Bottle, out of flair, did a spinning backflip, and landed in a completely new outfit. He was now wearing a plaid sweater, white and green, with a white beret instead of his normal stereotypical pirate hat. Also in Bottle’s hands laid a set of clothes as well, in very much magenta colors.

“-Golf clothes!” He said, with as much flair as he possibly could.

Lumine couldn’t help but giggle at what was going on. The rain had been going on for days now, and it wasnt giving her the best of sleep, so waking up to a gift of fun, some amazing food, and what looks to be an amazing new set of clothes was the uplift that she needed.

“Aw, that you so much BB!” She picked up the clothes from bottle, and stuck them under her armpit. “Ill go change into these right away, hehe!” She said with another giggle.

She closed the door and changed as quickly as she could. When Lumine walked out, she was wearing a magenta and pink sweater, with a lopsided cyan beret and some dark magenta jeans (that were a bit too tight for her liking.)

“Im ready to play some golf, honey!” She said, with a little hop.

Bottle was sitting in a nearby chair as lumine walked out, and him seeing her also in a full golf outfit made him practically jump with joy. He quickly skipped over, and actually picked up lumine to hug her. He slowly started spinning in place as he spoke. “How does it fit, honey?”

“The pants are a little tight but other than that it feels perfect! I love it! The sweater is super soft and the beret is adorable!” She said, nuzzling her nose against his.

“Wonderful!” Bottle gently put lumine down and then turned to look at almost a dozen minigolf courses around their house, and with a voice full of pride and excitement, said to lumine, “Now, lets play some golf, honey!”

Bottle quickly ran over to one of the smaller courses, labeled with a small red flag with the number ‘1’ on it. He pulled out a golf club with a lime green handle and a shorter club with a magenta handle, and handed the latter to lumine. He then set a golf ball down in a little groove on the track, signifying where the ball should lay on first putt.

“Honey, you get first shot, but dont swing the club, just gently hit the ball, ok?” He brought lumine over, perpendicular to the ball, and got behind her to help her prepare her shot.

Lumine gives a nice, effective swing, and brings the ball fairly close to the hole (which was just a very shortly cut plastic cup, mind you) for her first putt. Bottle then brings out his own ball, and swings it, hitting lumine’s and knocking both of them into the hole at the same time.

“We both got a hole in one, honey! Nice shot!” Lumine said to Bottle, hugging him tight.

“Yeah! You honestly did great yourself, too!” He said, patting lumine gently on the head. “Now, lets move to the next one!” He said, running over to the next course.

None of the mini golf courses were particularly hard, but they were an absolute joy to observe. Each one had its own interesting and unique style, and just knowing it was all made by bottle, and it was all just for the two of them, was an amazing experience that lumine would absolutely never forget.

Hole after hole they progressed, and by the time they were halfway through it, lumine had actually gained an impressive lead, but Bottle was not angry in any way, which surprised Lumine. Bottle could be a bit of a hothead at times, and considering how mini golf normally went for her and her family, she was surprised he hadnt completely freaked out. Even though he was still losing hard, he was complimenting Lumine’s work, still trying his hardest, and was as cool as a cucumber. She then decided that it could be fun to lightly tease bottle.

As he was preparing his next swing, lumine kissed him on the cheek and gently said, “I love you so much BB.” This legitimately startled bottle, and he swung completely away from his target, with the ball slamming into the nearby wall. The two stared at the ball for a moment, but then bursted out laughing. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too, but please dont say it when i was about to putt.” He said, turning to Lumine and kissing her.

“No~ hehe.” Lumine said as they stoped kissing, booping his nose with her own.

“Well, that might cause some problems if i dont... *punish it.*” Bottle said, turning to Lumine with a slightly silly expression. He then quickly and suddenly picked her up and started tickling the crap out of her, dousing her in kisses for good measure.

“Is this enough punishment for you to rethink what you did?” Bottle said, still tickling lumine.

“Mh... mhm-“ Lumine barely mustered saying before laughing as hard as she could.

“Good enough for me.” Bottle said, putting her down.

As the game progressed, every hole one of them would then always try to mess with their partner, sometimes with a kiss, sometimes with a little spook, but the other would always get “punished” in the end with kisses and tickles.

Soon enough though, they reached the last hole. It wasnt flashy or very decorative at all, compared to the others. All it was was a small golf strip, leading up to a golf hole with a small machine behind it.

“You go first, honey.” Bottle said, nudging her to the spot.

Lumine walked up to the hole and placed down her ball.

“Are you sure this is the last hole, honey? All of the others were incredibly high quality and super adorable, but this doesnt seem all that interesting.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it.” Bottle said, reassuringly.

Lumine hit the ball and it swept in instantaneously. As lumine went to pick it up, however, the small machine started whirring to life. It slowly started speaking, and it was obvious that it was just recording Bottle’s voice.

“Well, that was a game of golf, wasnt it? I bet i loved it almost as much as i love you.” The machine spoke. “... on the topic of love. This is actually, as can be considered, the anniversary of our first ‘date,’ back when we fell from that giant tree and landed in a cloud of cotton candy. Ive been honestly preparing to make something for this day for ages now, and im glad that you played enough mini golf to get to the prize. Now, if you could, turn around.”

Lumine slowly turned, and was surprised to see Bottle on one knee, holding out a platinum ring.

Bottle spoke with a quiver in his voice, almost as if he was afraid that he would ruin the moment. “Well, i bet this is surprising.” Lumine stared bottle directly in his eyes, and almost started crying at the sight.

“Honey, i... i thought about it for a long time. I wanted to bring it up, but was secretly planning to save it for this moment. My feelings for you have gone far deeper than you know, and in expressing them now, and i honestly think, your ring finger could be the perfect thing to fill this hole-in-one.” Bottle said, gesturing to the ring.

Lumine slowly picked up the ring, almost as if it was fake. But it wasnt fake, and the thought crashed down onto her in an instant. She gripped the ring as hard as she could as she ran over to hug bottle as tightly as possible.

“Yes.” She said, practically crying as feelings of love washed over her like tsunamis.

Bottle didnt say a word, but slowly picked up lumine, walked her over to her bed, and set her down. Lumine didnt want to let go of him, though, so bottle climbed into bed with her, as she hugged him tight. They both went to bed, with the house being covered in golf things, with their clothes still on, and their bodies wrapped together tighter than a vice.

“Thank you.” Lumine was able to mumble, saying as she slowly reached up to kiss bottle.

“You’re welcome.”

I will have y'all know that I cried when I read this at 2am.

It's freaking wonderful and I love it 😍💕

#fanfiction #oc #original characters #Lumine Luster #Bottle Brandy #submission #🌺💕

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