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warmau · 4 years

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the door opens as soon as the hand on the clock that hangs right above the line of freezers at the back of the store strikes eight

through it walks yangyang

grey hoodie pulled over his messy hair, stuck to the skin of his forehead with slowly evaporating sweat

he’s dribbling a basketball as he walks down the aisles and you pretend to rearrange the candy display in front of the register

but you’re watching

the sound of the basketball thumps through the otherwise empty corner store

outside, the sun is waving its last goodbye before the moon takes it spot in the sky

and then yangyang rounds his way back to you - placing some loose change down and waving the already unwrapped melon pop he’s picked out

you count the coins, and he’s ten cents short, but you don’t say anything about that

he turns, basketball now tucked under his arm

and leaves without a thank you or a goodbye

you know him - and you’re sure he knows you too - but it has been the same silent routine since summer started two weeks ago

the reason - and it could just be your suspicion - but no other fact has reared its head as creditable

has to do with dong sicheng

yangyang’s upperclassman, friend, and your ex-boyfriend

you lean forward a little and huff, not even really my ex-boyfriend. we fooled around all of last semester and then-

you feel something weird curl up inside your stomach

sicheng had called it off

you remember what he had said to you;

“maybe if you weren’t always looking at -”

the door opens again and your eyes barely shift to see who it is now

only to see yangyang again, melon pop abandoned, grey hoodie abandoned, basketball abandoned

he buffers a bit before walking right up to the register

you straighten up and feel like the little store has only gotten tighter

he slaps the ten cents he was short down on the counter and you blink

“i owe you this.”

“oh thanks.”

“sicheng isn’t here for the summer. he went abroad.”

you blink, and your instinct is to say - why would i care? - but you just nod slowly

yangyang steps back a little. he’s still got remnants of sweat on him from the summer heat, his hands tucked deep in his pockets

“did you like him?”

“no”

you answer a little too fast for comfort, but there just isn’t enough time to stop yourself from spilling the truth. something you’ve wanted to say for a while.

yangyang is looking at the floor, or maybe the candy, who knows - but he looks up after that.

“he said you were always -”

“looking at you. i know.”

yangyang seems to catch his breath, or maybe he just looks like he’s being suffocated, but either way he points to the sign on the door

“you close in an hour right?”

“yes”

“ill be here. we can - ill be waiting for you.”

even with the streetlights flickering, the night hovering into complete darkness, the heat makes everything feel vibrant and hot

or maybe you just feel all this pressure, finally being alone with yangyang

you’ve changed, you’ve attempted to comb your hair, you’re holding the half finished bottle of gatorade that is acting like some kind of pseudo-anchor as you wait to hear what it is yangyang will say

does he know? did he notice? or did sicheng just tell him for the hell of it that ive always actually liked him?

“i was looking too, that’s why i was so confused.”

he kicks the curb a little and avoids your gaze

“why you chose him - why you were sneaking around and doing all of that with him when i was-”

he throws his hands up in frustration

“when i was there too!”

“i just didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“you think i didnt like you back?”

you cross your hands and nod

“yeah, you never did anything to make me think you -”

“neither did you, you actually did the opposite, hooking up with one of my closest friends-”

“hey!”

you don’t want to raise your voice, but it makes yangyang look at you. really look at you.

“is it a crime to want to be desired? i couldnt get the feeling from you and sicheng just kissed me one day and it felt-”

yangyang steps closer, both hands reaching for your shoulders as if he’s about to pull you in close to him

but just as his fingers graze your skin, you can feel the tension stiffen him into stone

you flatline your voice and stare, “yangyang if you’re going to kiss me then just do it”

he opens his mouth in protest, at least that’s what he intentions, when in the next second

it’s you, dropping the gatorade in your hand, and just tugging him in for it first

he doesn’t kiss with the overwhelming confidence he can saunter around with when he’s with his friends, but he is enthusiastic

it kind of shocks you when after just a soft peck on the lips turns into yangyang wrapping you in almost squeezing hug

he kisses as if he’s trying to make up for something

you chalk it up to the time you’ve both waisted tip-toeing around each others feelings

and when you pull away from him, you realize he’s nearly dragged you off the curb and into the sidewalk with him and you’re like

“let’s get out of the street before we get hit by a car.”

he grins, the brightest light even in the darkness

“wait- just one thing though.”

his hands don’t let go from being wrapped around your waist, his bare skin sticking to the fabric of your shirt. how many degrees is it out? at least eighty something.

“what?”

“do i kiss better than sicheng-”

you yank him back onto the sidewalk and roll your eyes in response, yangyang just leans down to laugh into your neck

you’ve still got to work at the shop all summer, but now yangyang doesn’t just stop by at just eight

he’s there as much as possible

sitting on boxes of soda and chips - hand on your leg as you two watch the array of interesting neighbors and customers that pass their way through

there’s a nice old couple that beams at you and yangyang, talking about how much you two remind them of themselves

there’s a social recluse that scurries up and down the aisles even though he always buys the same two things every time he’s in here. yangyang theorizes he’s a spy or something and you’re like im pretty sure he works for an IT company

there are giggling groups of middle schoolers enjoying the summer, there are teenagers who spend more time kissing in the corners rather than buying anything, there are adults rushing to and from work

sometimes yangyang’s friends stop by, the ones he plays basketball with, and they wolf whistle and wink and push him when they think you’re not looking

but now kun - who apologizes to you every time for their CHILDISH behavior

the summer that you thought would be dragging slowly because of this dumb job, has become something like a rainbow.

colorful, eventful, and beautiful

especially when you’re sitting up on the register counter and yangyang is leaning up to kiss you

lips cold from the ice-cream you both just shared

he’s gotten better at kissing, and at hand-holding, and staring at you like you’re the entire earth and more

he leaves for a couple of hours to go play basketball - and one evening you close the shop early to go watch him

he looks so different from the yangyang that makes bad jokes, the yangyang who chases the local stray cat around your store, the yangyang who is still a little too shy about coming over to your house when you’re both alone, the yangyang who fell out of a tree trying to get a stuck balloon untangled for a crying toddler

he looks serious and focused - he looks more mature

when the set ends he jogs over, lifting his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face and you realize you’re also still a little shy, averting your eyes to the side

he doesn’t notice, if he did - you would not hear the end of it - as he leans forward to kiss your nose

you pull back and tell him ew- he’s so sweaty and smelly - but he just pouts and says thats never bothered you before!

“yeah, it’s never bothered you before so you guys should just make out-”

hendery’s voice echoes from somewhere before you presume kun puts a stop to that

yangyang raises an eyebrow

and you give in - leaning in to press your lips to him

“salty?” he asks when he pulls away, “very!”, you laugh and yangyang joins in

“oh sicheng you’re back?”

the sentence drowns you and yangyang’s momentary bliss

you don’t want to turn around and see if it’s really him - but yangyang leans away from you so you stand up too

“how was your trip?” it’s kun’s voice - followed by yukhei who exclaims that he’s missed him so much!

sicheng answers them, looking over his shoulder at you and yangyang

the sounds of the park all wash out - you don’t feel anything romantic toward sicheng, but this is still awkward and you’re more than anything worried about-

“yangyang - can i be on your team?”

sicheng is referring to the next game and you want to say something to yangyang about how it’s really all over, like it didn’t ever even mean anything

but then sicheng looks at you

“can i steal your boyfriend away for a bit?”

the playful banter sizzles the tension down and you feel yourself relax, and yangyang does too

“sure bro, but you better have gotten good during your trip - your freethrows always suck!”

sicheng laughs and you do too, kissing yangyang’s cheek before he goes back to join his friends

when it gets too dark to play anymore and everyone’s exhausted - yangyang and you part from the group

hendery tries to yell something about kids being safe, kun drags him away by the ear, xiaojun, yukhei and ten echo the sentiment anyway and sicheng says;

“im happy for you guys.”

you feel yangyang squeeze your hand in his - when it’s just you and him left

you shiver a little because summer is ending and falls kiss is sweeping in

yangyang shrugs off the grey hoodie he’s always wearing and you slip it on before taking his hand in yours again

“was it weird seeing sicheng again?”

“not really - i mean it’s just sicheng.”

you stop walking and yangyang does too

“he’s your friend and he’s just my friend. seriously. yangyang i want you to know that.”

he smiles softly, not the big toothy grin you’re used to, and tugs you a little into him

“i know that.”

he kisses your hair and then laughs

“if it was me, you would have jumped right into my arm-”

“yangyang!”

you give him a look and he swears he’s joking, he promises

but he’s also right

years later - as you’re standing in the airport looking up at the switchboard of flights

you light up when you see that the plane from taiwan is landing

you rush to the gate and wave as soon as you sicheng

he waves back, and so does kun and ten and everyone

and holding up the end is yangyang who abandons his luggage, to come barreling toward you

you can’t hold it too, it’s been all summer that he and the rest of them have been gone

and it’s been so boring without him, and so lonely, so when he opens his arms

you do jump right into them - getting attacked in a whirlwind of kisses

the rest of the group catches up to you two and from somewhere you can hear kun mutter

“they’re acting like kids”

but sicheng defends you two

“let them, they’ve been looking at each other since then.”

when yangyang finally decides to let you go, he adds:

“yep, and we haven’t stopped since.”

#i started this listening to still woozy and then ended it by listening to jbalvin thats how my night was going #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #yangyang scenarios #nct au #wayv au #yangyang au #member: yangyang #sfw #yangyang #wayv #nct

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bangtans-peaceful-piegon · 4 years

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My Cup of Tea: Prologue

My Cup Of Tea: Prologue | YoongixReader

Warnings for this Chapter: none, just a post-breakup suffering OC who is saved by a whole Min Yoongi

“Coffee is bitter, so people add a little bit of sugar or creamer until it suits their taste. However, once it’s added it can’t be separated. It’s also addictive, it’s your choice to keep it as your poison or to control how much you take. Some people need it, some people don’t...In that case, it really isn’t their cup of tea.”

A/N: im finally deciding to post this after who knows how long sajkdfhd,, tysm for beta reading this for me @jtrbluv !!! again u were a huge help because the tag game you tagged me in gave me the final push to actually post this fic thats been collecting dust in my drafts. ily boo !!! <3 it also took a while because i wanted to do more research for this fic. i dont think ive read about or drank so much tea in my life for the past few months. pls enjoy the prologue everyone!

Word Count: 1,600+

You sat in the worn out leather booth, eyes trained on the steaming mug in front of you.

What just happened?

Something that took five years to grow ended in mere seconds.

Five years of dedication.

Five years of convincing yourself it would work out, that it could be fixed.

Five years spent on a relationship that should’ve ended before it began.

You mindlessly took a sip of your coffee hissing as the hot brew burnt your tongue, mind drifting back to the argument that occurred hours ago...

“You’re never here!”

“Was I not enough for you?”

“Where’s the old Y/N that I knew and loved?”

You weren’t sure about what was said after that except for... “I’m seeing someone else.”

The bruising pain on your tongue began to throb and you couldn’t help the tears that formed.

You never liked coffee, but the café was your favorite place.

Perhaps it was the enticing aroma that attracted you every time you walked in, or maybe it was the cleverly thought out name that was in the form of childlike puns: Bearly Awake Brew.

Either way, you couldn’t despise coffee any more than you already did in this moment.

“Are you alright?”

You whipped your head up to see a man standing above you.

Through your bleary eyes you could make out a set of kind brown ones shielded by black frames which rested atop a boopable nose. On his head, a black mop of neatly trimmed hair along with soft cheeks paired with a soft jawline.

The man was dressed in a black turtle-neck and long-coat as if returning from a meeting discussing the newest stocks and bonds of business.

After a small, possibly noticeable, ogling of the stranger, you shook your head ‘no.’

He motioned to the seat across from you raising his brows inquisitively, “May I?”

This time you slowly nodded.

He seemed harmless enough, and even if he tried anything there was pepper spray in your purse.

You sniffled as he took a seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No y-you wouldn’t understand.” He leaned forward onto his elbows—a determined furrow in his brow.

“Try me.”

Who was this guy? He didn’t come off as threatening but somewhat… familiar.

You couldn’t quite place his face or remember his name.

“Not yet, right now I just need a good cry,” you replied sinking further into your seat.

“Alright.” He said, shrugging and not saying much, or really, nothing.

He sat across from you— not making eye contact but quietly observing the café.

Several questions raised in your mind: Where did he come from? Why is he here of all places? Did someone send him with the intention to make you feel even more like a fool than you already did?

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you asked when the silence became a little too long.

“No, not really...” he replied slowly. “Would you like me to leave?”

“No, I mean, it’s just-“ you hesitated, “You’re fine,”

“Ok then.”

Silence.

One look at him and it’d be hard to believe women find him approachable, but the man came up to you.

Much less, while you were on the verge of outright bawling in the middle of a café.

“What’s your name?” you asked, initiating conversation. You might as well since he was there.

“Yoongi. Yours?” You hesitated knowing it wasn’t fair to not give him your name.

“I’ll reassure you I’m not a stalker, at least not the bad kind.”

You let out an amused scoff, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He chuckles and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sound.

Were you really that joy deprived?

“Ok then, I’m Min Yoongi, and I’m a stocker. As in I distribute and track merchandise in stores.” he reaches a hand out to shake and you can’t help but stare at it.

“Well go on I won’t bite,” you huffed a laugh, taking his hand and shaking it.

He smiles and you can’t help but return it.

Who is this guy?

“Why don’t we go for a walk?”

You contemplate his offer.

You had just met him but you hadn’t had casual conversation in a while… or hung out with friends for that matter. So maybe it’d be good for you after-

“Sure let’s go,” You replied immediately while standing up, maybe a little too quickly— your chair scratching the wooden floors and making a startling sound as you headed to the door.

He raised his brows in surprise at the sudden burst of energy before trailing behind you, ignoring the stares of café patrons.

“Hey wait up!”

This was another reason why you visited the quaint coffee shop often.

The park outside was always bustling with life and energy.

There was a little pond where ducks would glide across its surface diving from time to time, scavenging for the weeds at the bottom, maybe even getting sustenance from people who were ignorant of the ‘Do not feed the ducks’ sign.

It also had an open field where locals and families would enjoy the hot summer days by setting up little camps with blankets and food or even play small games of football or soccer.

While children played in the vast expanse of green, parents would sit back and converse with strangers forming new friendships. It was a place of change and growth and you loved it.

“So,” Yoongi continued as you both walked down the dirt path, “other than your name, and why you were crying in my café, is there anything about you I have yet to know?” Your cheeks flushed red as you shifted your sight to the ground.

“There’s nothing much really,” you replied with a shrug before backtracking his sentence, “Wait, your café?”

“Don’t change the subject. There’s got to be one thing about you… how about your favorite color?”

You purse your lips at the dodging of the question, albeit a basic one, but it was a start. “I guess Rainbow,”

He nodded with a hum, “Wise choice,”

You let out a huff of amusement, “Alright wise guy, what’s yours?”

He pondered for a moment before affirmatively replying, “Black,”

You hummed. “Kind of... dark, isn’t it?”

He turned around and shrugged, “I’d say the rainbow but you took it already,”

You scoffed, resuming your place beside him.

He continued asking basic questions to which you replied and vice versa.

You liked dogs, but him on the other hand didn’t have a favorite animal, at least until he adopted a poodle which made him keen on the creatures, more specifically one named Holly.

You were allergic to bees and he was allergic to cats.

You both enjoyed a variation of music from rap to classical piano music, but the question also led to a debate on what artist is the most superior to all.

Neither of you won, and concluded neither lost with valid points made during said argument.

It only felt like minutes had gone by but wasn’t until you looked at the time that you realized how late it was.

The crowd at the park had begun to thin out while shops surrounding the area were beginning to close for the day.

The once bright sunlight began to fade behind clouds as it began its descent to the horizon.

“I should probably be heading home,” you cut in politely before he could delve into the topic of what they would do in a post-apocalyptic world.

“Oh,” he replied, obviously disappointed.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Well could I ask you one more thing?”

You nodded expecting it to be another ‘get to know you’ question or something along the lines of ‘if you had to would cut your arm or leg off?’ but it was something much more complicated.

“Can I get your number?”

You stiffened, unsure how to respond.

You weren’t sure if he was asking as a friend or a man with an ulterior motive.

Could you really do it?

Especially after you had just-

“I’m sorry that came out wrong,” He quickly mended, fumbling his words, realizing your distress.

“I think you’re really great, and I’d like us to continue talking. Just two people who enjoy each other’s company, you know?”

You looked up at him and saw he was offering to be friends that would be nothing more.

You couldn’t deny: you had fun.

For the first time in a long time.

Maybe it wasn’t a relationship you needed, but a friendship.

You smiled, “I’d like that,”

You reached into your pocket pulling out your phone, “Here.”

You both swapped devices, putting in the respective numbers. Once the contact was added, you returned each device to the rightful owner.

He grinned, holding up his phone, “How about a contact photo?”

You smiled, nodding as you stood beside him while he took a selfie of you side-by-side. Once the picture was taken he slid his phone into his pocket. “Thanks,” he glanced down at the phone, that darn smile growing on his face, “Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon?”

You nodded and finally split ways.

As you began the trek toward your apartment a dopey smile remained plastered on your face.

Maybe everything would be alright.

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ambwkpopreads · 4 years

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Jaehyun Oneshot

Hello! Heres a little oneshot ive been working on. Its not edited or anything so Im sorry for anymistakes.

WARNING: Its a bit smutty. A bit angsty, and a but fluffy

It's one thing being the new girl during senior year of highschool, but it's another when the most attractive, popular guy tries to befriend you. Everyone hated you. No more like all of the girls hated you, making your life living hell.

For years they have been trying to catch his attention. Going to all of his sports games, cheering him on. Making him lunches, giving him gifts. They were jealous at the fact that all you did was walk into school on your first day and he was looking your way.

During your first month, the death glares and evil eyes got worse and worse. Were they really that surprised to see a colored gal in their school. It couldn't be- you've seen others. Plenty of others, yet they gave you the same look.

You met a girl named Max. A smaller Korean girl with really long hair, tied half up and half down. She was a bit shy but she saw how much you were struggling, she just had to help you. You didn't know what was whispering around school, you just had some bad luck at the new school.

“I'm Max.” She smiles down at you. You were sitting at a picnic bench in the school's courtyard. It was lunch time, sitting outside was better than being watched in the cafeteria.

“Um, hi.” You were in awe, this girl. She looks at you with a smile on her face. Not the look of death itself.

“Okay, I'm not usually like this, but I feel very very bad for you.” She plops down across from you and she pulls her bag off of her shoulders. She unzips it and takes out a brown bag with her name in Korean on it. Must be her lunch. “Like yes, Jung Jaehyung is mighty fine, but honestly to target a girl, especially when she's new.” She is talking to herself as she unpacks her lunch. Some kimbap rolls, and a small container of radish kimchi. Wow. that sounds better then this beef stew and rice the school gave.

“Wait, wait. Jung Jaehyun? Who? That star player?” You ask her, confused. She sighs and sets her food down, looking back at you.

“Jung Jaehyun is the school's star player. He is the school's heartthrob. Every girl wants him, every guy wants to be him. Do you see what I'm getting at?” She questions. You nod understanding.

“Right, but what does that have to do with me?” But she just shakes her head.

“Yah! If you weren't so oblivious then maybe you wouldn't be struggling so much.” She bursts. Before you could fight back, she continued. “Jaehyun has taken a liking to you. And every girl around here is jealous. Even the ones with boyfriends. One main reason is because you are new, so no girl originally in this school had a chance, and that upsets everyone. It's funny really.” She laughs a bit. But you don't find this funny at all, in fact you're pissed.

“Are you serious right now? My senior year is going to shit because some pretty boy thinks i'm cute? What shit.” You didn't even want to eat anymore.

“Just cute?” She gives you a big laugh. “It's funny how oblivious you are. I don't understand how you don't see how many times this man had tried to talk to you. Or tried to get your attention. But you just walk away, not fazed at all. Another reason why every girl here hates you. Because they want to be you.” Her words sound crazy as hell. You have never had anyone ever even think you're cute, and now suddenly the most popular boy likes you. No, you wanted to finish your senior year out with no distractions, and the school hating you didn't help your stress levels.

“That's just fucking stupid.” You yell, sudden memories clouding your brain.

It's kind of obvious to what he looked like since his sports pictures were everywhere. You noticed him always looking your way, or smiling. Sometimes even waving. But you never paid any attention. You didn't want to wave back and he was actually waving to someone around you. “You like him too?”

“If I did I wouldn't be sitting here.” She shrugs. “But I will admit, he is one fine piece of-” Her eyes widen at the end of her sentence. Her whole body freezes up as she looks behind you. Then you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You turn around and see Jaehyun himself standing there.

“Hi, I noticed you weren't eating, and so I wanted to offer my lunch?” He holds it out. Your eyes widen at the dumplings and the Kimbap next to it. There was also a side of Kimchi and sauce.

“You've got to be shitting me.” You hear Max mumble behind you.

“You noticed I wasn't eating. You were watching me?” You look over and see him little friend group that he is always sitting at a table just on the other side of the windows dividing the outside from the in. They all quickly look away when they see you looking.

“Are you playing some game or something?” You question him, his face was really red, and he didn't know what to say. “Every girl in the school hates me because of you. Can't you target someone else?” You let all your frustrations out on him, all the stress you've been feeling lately.

“What?” He asks, true confusion running across his face.

“Like you don't know. I don't know if you like me or something, but just stop. I don't want to date someone like you.” You just couldn't stop. Now that you know the reason and he just came and proved it to you, it just pissed you off. You turn away before he could say anything else.

It was the next week and Max catches up to you.

“I still can't believe you told him off like that, I would've at least taken the food.” Max keeps going on. She's been telling you forever it feels like how crazy you are.

“Look, you can keep going on and on, but I don't want a man who is chased by literally every girl. If I get caught up with him, I'll be just like everyone else. Soon fighting for his attention. I'll pass.”

“You have a point, but-” There's always a but. “Unlike every other girl around here, he is fighting for your attention.”

Jaehyun never gave up. He always made you lunch, at some point you just gave up on rejecting it and taking it. But then he would be on your ass about wasting so much food. So then you just stopped getting school lunch and eating his.

There was a point when he wanted to walk you to class. You obviously didn't want him too, but you can't stop him from walking. You complain about the stares you got, the clear shit talk from everyone around you. He just tells you to ignore them, that he gets them all the time.

You didn't realize that he also did. You got hate from the girls, and he got hate from the guys. Either pure jealousy, or the fact that they wanted to be him.

You walked into school one Monday. You wouldn't say you were in a good mood. In fact you were highly irritated. Over the weekend, more rumors were made up. “Jaehyun made a bet.” “Jaehyun just wanted to see if he could snag the new girl.” “He knew her from the past, a long lost love or something.”

You knew not to believe rumors, but seriously if he just stopped, everything would go away.

You were so not in the mood to deal with him. When you got into school, you realized the first bell already rang, so the hallways were empty. Not to make any more stress for yourself, you were just going to go to the next one.

You pull your bag closer to yourself and you walk to the library. When you find a small couch closed off a bit from the rest of the library, you do a little happy dance. You sit down and take a deep breath. It feels like this is the first actual silence you've gotten all weekend.

You had three months left of this bullshit.

“YN?” His voice comes out of nowhere, breaking your silence. You actually wanted to scream. You wanted to be upset, but you were actually quite happy he was here.

You've always wanted to think about how good his hugs would be. How warm he would be. You would be lying if you said you hated when he was around. But you could never admit that. Because as soon as you did, he would leave.

You need him to leave before you get too attached to the idea of him hanging around.

He walks around to stand in front of you. Your eyes follow him. He was looking at you with a confused and concerned look.

“What do you want Jaehyun?” You ask. You tried to sound stern, but you just sounded tired.

“Something is bothering you, so I'm bothered.” He shrugs. He sets his bag down and sits on the floor across from you. You sighed.

“Why do you do this?” You ask looking over at him.

“What am I doing?” He asks.

“Acting like you care? You're always around? You are making my life so much harder that it already was. How hard is it for you to leave me alone?” You felt yourself start to tear up. You didn't want him to leave, you just wanted baggage to go.

“I told you to ignore them Yn. They won't go away.” He mumbles, ignoring your questions. Or so you thought. He pulls his legs up to his chest a bit. “When you first came here, when I first saw you, it was like I could see everything clearly again. I know what I wanted.” He sighs. “That didn't come out right.” He puts his legs down. “I've seen how your time here has been, I can't stop these people from saying what they want. But I can try and make you feel better. That's why I've been wanting to make you food, I don't want you eating the shitty lunch. I thought maybe small things like that would make your day better.” He was going on, shocking you. “I won't lie, the fact that you didn't like me, just made me like you even more. Everytime I would walk you to class, you would say little things, either to me or just out loud. I don't know, but I realized that you are different then everyone here. You're like a puzzle I want to put together, ya know.”

Your eyes were huge in the first sentence. You didn't say anything, so he continued getting more and more nervous, he tried his best to show it. He looks at you in the eyes.

“All the hate you've been getting, has been getting to me to ya know. I don't want all these stupid rumors to make you think any different of me. I want you to have your own impression. If it makes you feel any better. I haven't had a girlfriend since middle school. To focus on sports.” He mumbles the last part.

Now, out of all your fantasies, you never thought of a confession like this one. You still couldn't get anything out. Say something!

The bell rings, telling you to start going to your next class. You quickly grab your bag and leave. Leaving Jaehyun sitting there watching you walk away. He clenches his jaw, realizing half of the words he just said.

“Fuck, now I've definitly scared her off.”

He left you alone after that. Which you were happy about for the first couple of days. You got to actually breathe, and get your shit together. He was so distracting, but in a good bad way. You were fighting your own feelings at this point. But everytime you give in, you're left in the dust. You didn't want to feel like everyone else either.

After a couple of more days, you started to get a bit more sad. Because maybe you walking away that day was the worst mistake you could have made. You shouldn't feel the way you did, you wanted this, you wanted him gone. You hated yourself for getting used to him being around. Then again you did technically reject him. So you shouldnt be sad, you should be glad.

It Friday now, you were making your way to your locker to grab your things for the weekend. Your mom and dad went on a weekend getaway, so that meant that you had to walk home, also meant you had the whole house to yourself.

A whole week with no Jaehyun, it was strange. You didn't even focus on the stares you got anymore, your mind was filled with him, just like everyone else. You were usually the last in the halls, you hated rushing with the crowd. You start walking down the hallway, towards the front door. Suddenly a door on the left opens and out comes Jaehyun. He's looking down at the floor as he's walking. He looks up noticing someone else in the empty hallway.

It seems like he was just as shocked as you were to see him. But what did you have to say? Nothing. So you keep walking.

Jaehyun, once again, watches you walk away. He can feel his eye twitch a bit at the similarity of this situation. He walks up behind you and grabs your hand making you stop walking.

“Are you goi- Can I walk you home?” He fumbles over his words a bit.

“Sure Jae.” You say without a second thought. He smiles, but then shakes it off. You turn to walk again, but he stops you again.

“Can we go to my locker first?” he asks. You don't say anything, but nod. He holds his hand out for you to take. You raise your eyebrow at his need for your hand.

“Please.” He pouts his lip. You sigh and hold his hand, he was quick to lace your fingers together. His smile is big and bright. You quickly look away, feeling your cheeks burn. God his smile was pretty. He takes you to his locker, a little further into the school then yours was. He tries to unlock his locker with one hand. He fails a bit, clearly needing his other hand. You try to pull yours away, but he pulls back, squeezing it a bit. Then all of a sudden, he opened it. He does a little dance, happy that he wasn't struggling anymore. You had to quickly look away.

Why is it so hard to look at him? Has he always been this pretty?

You can look but not touch, you remind yourself. As soon as you do, your eyes go to your laced hands. You look back up too see Jaehyun slinging his backpack over one shoulder. He then shuts the locker and looks down at you.

“Ready?” He asks you softly. When your eyes connected, they were stuck. All you can hear is your heart beating fast, the only thing you could focus on was his bottom lip tucked under his teeth a bit. His black hair was curly a bit, and hanging a little over his eyes. He shakes his head a bit, giving himself a better view, letting his lip go.

You quickly nod walking forward, pulling him behind since he wouldn't let your hand go.

The walk took ten minutes. Hand in hand, walking as if you weren't in a rush. Nothing was said, because your mind was filled with a million words.

Jaehyun was the same. His heart was beating so fast. He has had a rough week. He didn't want to avoid you, but his friends mentioned that giving you space will make the future better for both of you. He thought it made sense. But before this, you were actually opening up to him. You may not have noticed, but now he knows so many little things about you. Like your favorite food, and color. He was getting somewhere, but now you felt cold. You closed the door before he could get a foot in. He could feel it in your hand. It was just hanging there, as he held it tight. There has to be good things coming from this.

You turn down the final alleyway, making it to the first door you come to. You turn to him wanting to say something. But he beats you to it, holding your hand up and holding it with both of his hands.

“Before you say anything, I'm sorry.” He breathes out. “I didn't mean to say all of that to you on Monday. I mean I did, but not like that. You were going through something and I just overwhelmed you more.”

“Jaehyun why do you like me?” You ask him, not sugar coating anything. He frowns a bit, looking down at the ground. He licks his lips.

“Truthfully, it was when I first saw you. I thought you were so fucking beautiful. Mhm…” He looks up at you. “I really couldn't get you outta my head. Then it got to the point where my heart was beating out of my chest when you came near me. I knew I was in deep when I heard how much I was contributing to making your life hell. It made me sad that you were sad. You didn't have anyone until Max, I tried to reach out but you just brushed me off, expected. I just wanted to show you that I was here for you and no one else.” His eyes bored into yours. His words shocked you to the core. “I'm sorry for not speaking to you all week. Only excuse I have is that I want you to be happy, and I'll do anything to make sure of just that.”

“Avoiding me for a week doesn't help anything. It doesn't make any sense, how can you just leave so easily if you supposedly like me.” You were getting frustrated. Thankfully there was no one around. “I don't want to give in to you and these stupid feelings I have, just to have you walk away.” Your words made Jaehyun’s heart drop to his ass. He will never listen to his friends again.

No one says anything for a moment.

“Feelings?” Jaehyun's voice was soft. Whisper like.

“I-Just stop being all flirty if you're going to avoid me like you don't know me. My heart can't handle that. I know that I wasn't the nicest to you, but you make me feel so warm and fuzzy-” He cuts off your rambling by raising his hands to your face.

“Please don't get worked up, I promise I won't do that again.” His face was close to yours. His lips grazed yours as he spoke to you. You were trapped between the brick walls and him in front of you. Your body was on fire, your knees felt weak.

You push him away quickly, you take your right hand and beat on the chest of your heart slightly.

“Stop doing that.” You fan yourself. “Being all cute and teasing me like that. I can't take that from you.” You felt out of breath.

Jaehyun looks down at your red burning cheeks. He smiles in awe at you- so fucking cute.

“Either kiss me or don't.” You mumble, not thinking he could hear you. But oh did he. You gave him permission. “Thanks for walking me home.” You could feel his eyes looking down at you. You look back up at him, and pull your hand away. You turn and open the door, before you step in, you look back at him.

“I think-I think it would be best if this is the last time we talk to each other.” You quickly go in and shut the door. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to drown out his voice calling your name. You realized how far deep you are, and you needed it to stop now. You refused to get hurt. Stopping it now, before anything else could happen. It was right.

It was so easy for him to walk away, probably not having a thought about you. All while you couldn't stop thinking of him. This decision might hurt you for a while, but it'll save you in the long run.

Hopefully.

You go up to your bedroom and call Max on your computer, using facetime. You both talk about how horrible certains classes are. She talks about the recent animes she's been into, telling you to write some down so you can see what she's talking about. You try to laugh along to her ramblings but everything was just off.

“Okay, what happened?” She stops talking about what her dog was eating, and stares at you through her screen, waiting.

“Jaehyun.” You say simply, knowing she wasn't going to stop asking.

“Spill!” She yells, getting excited.

“I-I don't know Max. He pretty much confessed to me twice. And- and I pushed him away.” You blurt, your eyes were already starting to tear up. The fact that Max wasn't saying anything, didn't make anything better. “It's better this way though, I won't get hurt. I refuse to fall for some pretty boy.” You shake your head.

“You are crazy, my friend. You are going to regret this.” She says seriously shaking her head. You were shocked at her words, expecting her to side with you. “Look I'm sorry, but I stand by the truth. I promise you he just got lucky with the look, Jaehyun is the God gifted person. He is one of a kind. There is a reason why he is the school's star student, without him, our school wouldn't have a name.” She rants. The school is pretty small.

“You need to fix this, I promise you, you will love me forever for convincing you.” She starts again. “You are self sabotaging, and I won't allow it.” She crosses her arms, and nods her head with a pout. Her facial expression makes you smile a tiny bit. You knew she was right, you were literally pushing him away, hurting him in the process of trying not to get hurt. That's not fair. You should at least try.

You really do know how to fuck shit up.

“Now I have to wait until Monday.” You mumble.

“Mhm no you don't. This girl Minji, she's having a party, he usually goes.” She spins around in her chair.

“Absolutely not. Are you kidding me? Everyone hates me.” You instantly shut it down.

“No, she doesn't. She's one of the girls with a boyfriend.”

“Then go with me.”

“EH! NO! I went once, and never again!!” Gosh, she could be so dramatic.

“I think I'm just going to go on a walk or something, take time to think. I can't let this stress me out.”

“You won't be if you just give into your obvious feelings.”

You lay down in your bed, thoughts never stop coming to you. You go through so many emotions as you think about everything. All you wanted is to go back in time. You weren't this type of person, yes you didn't want to hurt, but you also fought back. Deep down you know Jaehyun is an amazing person, but you werent and that was the problem.

You turn your head and take a look at the clock on the side table. It was almost midnight, you might as well sleep at this point.

The next morning, you make yourself some breakfast and start working on your homework that you had for the weekend. You hated dragging it out and would rather get it done all at once.

Hours pass when there's a knock on the back door. You frown and look up at the door, Jaehyun's voice pops into your head from him yelling out your name yesterday. You sigh, shaking your head softly wanting the thought to go away. You stand up and walk over to the door. You open the curtain a bit to see who was outside, and too see him there. Your eyes widen and you gasp closing the curtain.

“Can we talk?” He asks through the door.

“I'm not even dressed. I'll see you Monday.” You yell through the door. You look down at your pajamas, sweats and a tank top. No bra.

“Then put some clothes on, I need to talk to you.” His voice was loud enough for you to hear. You sighed, knowing that this was your fucking chance to make the right choice.

“Well can you wait one second?” You ask.

“Yes of course,” You hear him laugh a little. You quickly run to your room and put on a sweatshirt. You also brush your hair up and into a ponytail. You washed your face real quick, making sure everything was good. You brush your teeth for the second time this morning.

You go back and finally open the door. He was still standing there waiting, with a small smile on his face. You were horrified with yourself. He looked so good, with his hair a bit wavy, in an expensive looking knitted sweater. He looked so good out of school uniform. Then there's you, sleeping in on a saturday and looking like a troll while doing homework.

You let him in, he looks around the room, with his eyes landing on yours as he turns around. You didn't know what to do, say, or where to go. You look down at the table covered in your school work. You walk over to it and start to organize it again.

“So whats up?” You ask him. Your voice comes out a lot weaker than expected.

“I refuse to give up-I can't give up.” He speaks softly. The air around you two turned thick. You look up at him, frozen mid paper shuffle. He looks up at you and licks his lips. “I just want to tell you that you don't have to be scared. I promise you that I won't hurt you.” His eyes bore into your. Your cheeks are set ablaze. You look back down, tapping the paper on the table, as if they weren't already neat. So many things you could say back, what to say. His feet walk closer to you. His hand reaches out and he grabs your wrist. He gently takes the papers and tucks them in a book and closes it. He grabs both of your hands, and you couldn't help but to lace your fingers through his. He squeezes your hands with his. He gives you a soft smile.

Fuck hes so pretty.

You look down, your whole face now burning.

He was waiting for you to say something, anything. And you should, he has said so much and you just ran away. But now you can't, you won't.

“Jaehyun, this is all very foreigne to me. I never was pretty enough to anyone- I was never enough. I'm scared as hell yes, because I've been hurt before, and I refuse to.” No one ever tried this hard.

“I'm so sorry. You deserve so much, and I want to attempt to give you everything.” One of his hands let go of one of yours, and grabs on to your waist, slowly pulling you closer. You couldn't help but to lean forward and lay your head on his chest softly. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You wanted to laugh.

“Jaehyun, you are so good with your words. Practice a lot?” You ask him, teasing. You wonder how many girls he had said this to. But his face confuses you a bit, he looks as if you caught him in the act of something bad. Then he quickly looks away, laughing.

“Yes actually, all morning.” His words come out soft, they also make your head snap up, looking at him. He then pulls you all the way into his arms. Your eyes roam all over his face. His skin was so perfect, eyes low and dark. His lips, so moist and inviting.

“You put this ball of light in me, and it keeps growing and growing. Everytime you glance my way, my heart skips a beat. I have goosebumps running down my spine just because you're in my arms. I heard a third time a charm, after this, I'll go if you want me to. But I think that you want this, but you're nervous. I understand, I just need you to understand that I got you baby.” His voice was silky. As he spoke, he got closer and closer. His words ending near your ear. Your eyes roll back a bit as goosebumps prickle your skin.

What would happen if you kissed him? Would he kiss back? Would he push you away because he didn't want to be kissed?

Fuck, you really wanted to kiss him. Why the hell not.

Your right hand raises up to his cheek. Your thumb running over his cheek softly. He stares down at you, letting you do whatever you please. Your hand runs farther, past his ear, deeper into his hair. You pull him closer, and he follows with no hesitation. You don't stop until you feel his lips on yours. It was like a bubble popped and you couldn't stop.

He pulls away a bit harshly looking down at you. His lips turned red and his hair a bit wild since your hand was all through it.

Oh no, did you do something wrong?

He suddenly backs you up a bit. His hands go onto your waist and quickly lifts you and sits you on the counter. You were a bit shook. Did this man just lift you?

You watch him as he opens your legs a bit and stands between them. He leans in, close to your face.

“Again.” And he kisses you again. He moans against your lips, sending vibrations from your lips and down. You can tell he tried to take it a bit slow, but you felt as if you had a bit of an advantage. You were positioned higher than him, so you easily laced your fingers through his hair and pulled him closer, making his face look up a bit more. You start to control the kiss, you tongue running across his lips, wanting him to open up. He lets you, easily.

He has thought about this moment for so long. He dreamed of these lips.

As one hand tugs on his hair, the other runs up and around. Damn, why does this feel so good? You pull away, and you gasp softly for air. His hands grab your waist and he tugs you closer, your crotch lining right up with his. This definitely had you gasping for air. His lips trail down and all over your neck. Sucking and nibbling in different areas. He kept going until he reached a certain spot that made you melt.

“Jae…” You moan softly into his ear as he marks your skin. He reacts by biting down pretty hard on your neck, but then licking the same area.

“Can I touch you?” His words were soft, and gentle. But you froze up, and you pulled away. Your body did not want to be away, but your brain wasn't ready to comprehend that. You shake your head, unable to speak because of the previous actions. You shy away, afraid that he would be upset. They always are, then it just makes everything worse. You don't know if you could be rejected by Jaehyun.

“No, no it's okay.” He grabs your hands in his.

“I haven't done anything like that Jae, and I clam up everytime someone wants too. I just don't think I'm ready yet.” You mumble looking down at your joint hands. Your heart was beating in your ear. Your nerves were going wild. One of his hands rises, and tilts your head up a little and he kisses you softly on your lips.

“We don't have to do anything you don't want to.” He smiles at you. He moves a bit, and that's when you notice that he was hard as hell. Then you notice how awkward he was standing, and must be very uncomfortable.

Now you don't mind touching him…

“Can I touch you?” You throw his words back at him. His eyes catch yours. You didn't mind doing that, in fact you really wanted to. You wanted to see his face when you made him cum. Your eyes caught him biting his bottom lip. “Is that too much?” You question him, feeling a bit uneasy under his intense stare.

“Mhm, I go at your pace.” He says deeply. You get down and grab his hand taking him up to your room. You shut your door and take a deep breath. You turn around and put a hand on his chest, wanting to push him down onto your bed. But he grabs your wrist slightly and leans forward. He kisses you softly and gently, he pulls away slowly, and looks down at you.

“You don't have to do this…” His lips graze yours. One of his hands skim over your cheeks, he looks at you with so much adoration.

“I put you through a lot lately. I want to make up for it.”

“These are enough…” His thumb plays with your bottom lip. You whine a bit, pushing yourself against him.

“Can I touch you now?” You pout, your fingers looping through his belt loop. “I don't wanna pressure you, bu-”

“Please touch me.” He captures your lips in his again. And your hands instantly start roaming everywhere. You lift his shirt up a bit, feeling the ridges on his torso. You groan against his lips. His body was hot, he was hot, everything was hot.

And too good to be true.

You pull away, and push him down onto your bed. He goes to unbutton his pants, but you stop him. You push him some more so that he is now laying down. You lift his shirt a bit, exposing his v-line and more. He leans up a bit, flexing for you. You couldn't help yourself, since he marked you up, it's only fair to do it back. You lean down and attach your lips right above his pants button. His body twitches a bit, not expecting a kiss in that exact area. Your lips send waves of pleasure through his body, and you've barely done anything.

He needed a release so badly, and the fact that you offered, he would've come in his pants right there.

All over his waistline, you leave marks. Big ones too. While doing that, you've managed to unbutton and unzip his pants. They were already pretty low on his waist, making it easy for him to push them down a bit, allowing you to grab him in your hands.

“Hmm.” He moans and you move your hand up and down a bit. He looks directly at you, you make sure you keep eye contact as you go down and give him a couple of kitten licks on the tip.

“Fuck..” He sighs, sounding out of breath. He falls back on the bed, allowing you to proceed.

If a dick could be perfect, it would be his. He was a grower, forsure. One vein running around it, the tip bright red. You wanted to make it shiny with your saliva, you always found pretty cocks to be so aesthetically pleasing.

You started going at it, taking him in as far as you could go. Which in this case, you could take him whole. He reached your max. He was perfect.

You frowned when you realized he was holding back his moans. You let up, stroking him slowly.

“Why are you holding in your moan, Jaehyun? I want to hear how good I'm making you feel.” You suck on his tip a couple times, your tongue playing around it.

“Fuck-I just...I didn't want to be too loud.” His voice laced with moans.

“Don't hold them in, it makes me upset.” You quickly go back down on him, helping him chase his high. His cries break out and the sudden intenseness. His stomach was feeling tingly.

“Look at me.” You mumble. He leans up on his elbows and he looks right at you. His face was burning red, and his hair was a mess, from his own hands going through it. He watches you as you take him all the way in. Just the sight of you alone could make him cum.

His eyes start to roll to the back of his head, his brows frown and his mouth is open wide. He tries to keep his eyes on you. But when you bring a hand up to his ball, he loses it. His hand goes up to your hair and he pushes you down a bit.

“Fuck, I'm so close, i'm so close. Please… please. I need this, I need you.” He mumbles under his breath as he starts to fuck into your mouth. His words make you moan around him, breaking him.

“Fuuuuhck.” He falls back on the bed, his body losing control a bit. You don't let up, testing his overstimulation reaction.

“Holy-holy shit.” His body spazzes a bit. “Keep going and I'll get hard again.” He warns, voice weak. But you let up, knowing your throat was going to be a bit sore. When you swallow everything in your mouth, his body swings up and he kisses you.

“That-that was amazing.”

“Mhm,” You smile and peck his lips again. You get up and go to your bathroom to quickly run some mouthwash through your mouth. You couldn't help but to wonder what's going to happen next. Was he going to leave? Did he feel awkward now? Were you even as good as he says you are? You look into the mirror, seeing red marks all over your skin. You knew those were going to be darker soon.

You go back to the room, seeing Jaehyun sitting on your bed, looking out the window. You quickly run up to him and push him back. You climb on his lap and put his arms above his head.

“Who allowed you to mark my neck up?” You shake your head down at him, trying to hold back a smile. His surprised face turned into a sly one, he bits his bottom lip and quickly flips you over, so now you were in the exact position, you were just on the bottom. Your hands above your head. With his strength, you could barely move.

“Everytime I see you, I crave you more and more. I can't help but want to just eat you.” He says smiling softly. But his eyes were dark. He leans down and kisses you softly, taking your bottom lip and sucking on it a little. A moan escaped your throat.

“So sweet.” He croaks, before diving down for more of you. You give him as much as you can. You both kiss each other with so much emotion. Showing eachother how much they want this. Saying everything that could never actually be said.

You pull away, everything is hot and tingly again.

“You have to be the strong one and pull away, please.” You capture his lips again, getting your last kiss in. How could you get so turned on from a kiss. He moans against your lips. Letting one of your hands go, he caresses your cheek, pulling away. He hops off and clears his throat. You sit up, in a state of shock. You didn't not expect this today.

“Um, I don't really feel like getting ready for the day. So wanna order some food?” You look up at him. He looks at you with a confused look on his face. “Or if you want to leave, you can do that t-”

“Let's order, I'll pay.” He smiles widely at you.

#Jung Jaehyun #jaehyun #nct #nct 127 #kpop #angst #smut #fluff #ambw

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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dirt-grub · 4 years

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1, 4, 30, 36!

1. what’s your favorite way to dress?

OOH I like this one!

It’s specific but hard to describe. I have a lot of textures and feelings in my clothes that I need or else I feel wrong and uncomfortable. I need pockets, and I need three pieces to an outfit (ex, pants, tshirt, and a jacket or flannel. I feel naked in just a shirt most of the time)

I used to only wear like dark unassuming colors bc I had low self esteem and didnt want to be noticed but now I LOVE colors. Bright ugly button downs and bright ugly socks are my favorite things atm

I have to wear my vans everywhere. I wore them to prom last year, and I’ve worn them every day since, even to trek through the woods. They’re black so anything matches them. The only exception to this is a pair of new rainbow ass crocs I got bc theyre horrid and i love them

And like with shorts they have to have a specific fit to them. If theyre below the knee i look short n stubby and i dont like it, so they have to be at/above the knee. When I wear jeans I always roll up the pant legs bc gay

theres probably a lot more but like yeah i wear similar stuff a lot just with different bright shirts n things (and i like to recreate outfits of my fav characters; ive been wearing a white shirt and jeans with a red flannel like every day lately lol)

4. what does your room smell like?

See my last post! Right now it smells purple. What that means is up to you lol i really dont know how else to describe it

30. what instrument do you wish you could master?

Again, see last post for deeper explanation, but piano!

36. do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.)

Oh GOD yes. I stim a lot, and because I was never diagnosed with adhd/autism during childhood i have hardly any coping skills and didnt realize that what i was doing was stimming. I shake my legs and hands a lot, but I tried really hard to train myself not to flap anymore (I did it when I was little, and so did both my brothers who are “lower functioning”, and that was a bad autistic thing to do so i tried to stop doing it :( its kinda sad in hindsight)

I make clicking sounds a lot, I bite my nails, I pick at the skin of my scalp sometimes, I bounce and rock back and forth sometimes, when Im really excited ill just straight up jump as high as i can, and sometimes when im alone ill make like beatbox kinda noises (I used to parrot things as like beatbox patterns; like the rhythm of someone’s words or an actual beat from a song. The most common one actually is the beat to the futurama theme song- ive been doing it for years and didnt realize where it came from until i rewatched it recently.)

#answered asks #long one!!! :))#connor talks

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kumkaniudaku · 5 years

Text

Our Thing

Happy Valentine’s Day, guys. Here’s one of the two things I plan on writing. I consider all of you my Valentine’s since I never have one, so here’s something before the clock strikes 12.

Work Count: 2k

Warnings: Not yet proofread

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What? Of course, it’s a good idea! I’m the king of good ideas!”

Voices bounced off of the walls of the Brooklyn apartment building as Chad and CoCo walked side by side to the apartment at the end of the hallway.

The snow lining the sidewalks outside were typical of mid-February, giving Tasha more of a reason to stay inside on the cold Friday. But her friend insisted she leave the dark cocoon she had created for herself in her apartment just across the water in New Jersey.

Valentine’s Day was the designated time of the year to celebrate love. Chadwick had a reason to celebrate, but CoCo could no longer say the same. After months of turmoil and emotional abuse, she was a single woman again and dreading the mere thought of loving someone else. So, she planned to avoid all mentions of love and relationships for the foreseeable future. Even if that meant neglecting tradition.

“Look, Chad, we can celebrate on the 15th! This feels so...weird.”

“We celebrate Valentine’s Day together every year. We can’t skip out this year.”

“I feel like having a girlfriend is the perfect reason to miss a year,” CoCo deadpanned as they reached their intended destination. She could practically feel the excitement buzzing from the other side of the door in the form of Toni Braxton’s greatest hits so far, and started to feel bad for the woman she’d come face to face with for the first time.

“Why miss a year when we can celebrate together? And you get to meet my lady for the first time. It’ll be fun.”

“Fun my ass,” Tasha mumbled into the thick scarf around her neck, earning a look from Chadwick.

“Wanna share that with the class, Miss Greene?”

“Knock on the damn door!”

A muffled feminine voice announced that she was gearing up to answer the door adding to the uneasiness in the pit of CoCo’s belly. She knew that if she was on the other side of this encounter, seeing a woman with her boyfriend on date night would insight a riot.

When the door opened to reveal the woman she only knew as Jay, she was more than shocked at what met her. Jay was beautiful. Her slim figure came with a few curves to compliment her height. She was graceful beyond compare and impeccably dressed, making Tasha feel incredibly bland in comparison.

“Hi, baby,” Jay sang as she wrapped her arms around Chadwick and went in for a kiss. If Tasha had rolled her eyes any harder, they would’ve fallen from her skull and rolled all the way back to New Jersey to beat her home. Catching wind of another presence, Jay offered a courteous smile.

“Oh, hi! Did he forget to give you a tip downstairs?”

“A tip,” CoCo asked, obviously offended and a bit confused.

“A tip for the cab ride. I know it was hell driving in this snow. Just let me grab my purse.”

Chadwick could see Tasha’s struggle to maintain her composure, her mouth opening and closing with words she couldn’t produce.

“You know what? I’m going home. Call me to let me know you got back to your place safely.”

“No, wait,” he exclaimed before grabbing Tasha’s elbow and pulling her back to her original spot despite her struggle to pull away. Noticing the commotion, Jay turned back to Chadwick and Tasha with her brows quirked in confusion.

“Am I missing something.”

“Nope. I’ll just take my tip and be on my w-”

“Jay, this is my best friend Tasha that I’ve been telling you about. Co, this is Jayme Dubois, my girlfriend.”

A brief and unpleasant stare off preceded a chipper energy shift as Jayme went in for a hug. “CoCo, how are you! I have heard so much about you.”

“Yeah well, don’t believe any of it,” CoCo forced out between fake laughter while she made faces at Chadwick over Jayme’s shoulder.

“I’ll keep that in mind. So, what brings you over? Do you have a date in this complex? I always knew white boy Rick liked Black women.”

“Actually, Muffin, I was thinking she could spend Valentine’s Day with us. It’s been tradition for us to spend the holiday together and we don’t wanna break it.”

“So you want Tasia -”

“It’s Tasha,” CoCo interrupted in the most obnoxious tone she could muster.

“Right...Tasha. You want Tasha to spend Valentine’s Day with us? Tonight? Even though this is a couple’s holiday? Couple as in two, mind you.”

“Yes, Jay. It would really mean a lot to me.”

Jayme looked between a visibly annoyed Tasha and the pleading eyes of her boyfriend before letting go of a long sigh and stepping aside to usher her companions for the night inside.

Tasha took in her surroundings and quietly marveled. Though small because what seemed to be standard in New York, Jayme’s dwelling was equal parts colorful and classic. Had she not started the interaction on such a bad note, Tasha would’ve complimented her on the statement couch that matched her ornate rug, but she kept it to herself out of spite.

“So since we have one more, what are our plans for the night, honey bear?”

Chadwick caught the slight scrunch in CoCo’s face and ignored it to refrain from explaining the embarrassing nickname. “Well, we can still go see Definitely, Maybe like you wanted, but instead of dinner in the park, Tasha got us a reservation at this really nice Italian spot in the city.”

“I called in a favor from work. It was no big deal.”

Jayme disregarded CoCo’s smile as she took a sip from her water bottle and sat on the arm of the chair Chadwick occupied. Her hands rubbed patronizing circles around his shoulders and back, forcing Tasha to look away to save the awkward moment.

“Well, it seems like you too already have this figured out, so I’ll just grab my coat. Do you have any more suggestions, CoCo?”

“Nooope.” Tasha sang the word through gritted teeth forced into a smile. Chadwick gave her a sympathetic look before helping Jayme into her coat and ushering each woman safely out of the building.

Tasha remained the front wheel of the tricycle, preferring to stay in front of the couple to refrain from looking like the unwanted third party. With every audible kiss and nauseatingly affectionate gesture, CoCo felt her heart tighten. It wasn’t seeing Chadwick with another woman that had her fighting back tears in the theatre. She needed the sight to push her feelings for him to the furthest corner of her mind. It was the pain of knowing that she had just detached from one of the worst situations in her life, yet wanted to be with him to cure the loneliness she felt.

If she had it her way, she’d cry it out until the work week resumed on Monday in the comfort of her own home, but continued to engage in the conversation when the moment presented itself to appease Chadwick.

In a restaurant full of couples, Jayme, Chadwick, and Tasha were the only threesome in the center of the establishment. Nervous energy characterized the silence left behind when Chadwick excused himself to the restroom, leaving the women in his life to avoid eye contact.

Relief came in the form of a stout waiter visiting the table to collect dinner orders. Without realizing that the order would be incomplete without the third member of the group, the women ordered traditional dishes and wine for the table.

“And the young man? What will he have?”

“Oh! Ummm, I’m not sure,” Jayme responded as she fumbled through the menu. “Maybe you could come back in a few minutes?”

“He’ll have the Parmigiana w/ Pasta, but please be light on the sauce. He gets heartburn from all the tomatoes.”

The waiter took heed of Tasha’s warning before walking away, leaving Jayme to burn a hole in the top of Tasha’s head while she sorted through emails on her cell phone.

“How long did you say you and Chadwick have been friends?”

“Since Fall 1996. So coming up on 13 years,” Tasha answered, looking up to find an indecipherable look on Jayme’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I just - you know him so well. His favorite candy, where he likes to sit in the theatre, what he eats at certain restaurants. I don’t know if I can keep up.”

The process of finding the right words to assure Jayme, Chadwick returned to the table and unknowingly ended the conversation before it could truly begin.

“Never in my life did I think I’d have to stand in line to use the men’s restroom. I applaud y’all for doing that,” he complained as he took his seat. “Has the waiter come back for orders yet?”

“He did actually. Tasha got you Parmigiana w/ Pasta.” Jayme secretly hoped that Chadwick would reject the choice and ask for a second go at the ordering process. She was met with the complete opposite.

“Hell yeah!” His fist met Tasha’s across the table in his childlike excitement. “I love that shit.”

“Language, honey bear.”

“Sorry, Muffin.”

“Wow,” Tasha whispered to herself, unaware that the others around the table could hear her.

“Did you want to say something, Tasha?”

“Noooope.”

The table fell silent to give way to the idle chatter in the area around them. Chadwick looked between his girlfriend and best friend trying to find a way to get them to interact with each other cordially.

“So, Co, Jayme has been trying to get into basketball lately.”

“Oh really.” Tasha was clearly uninterested as she continued to read emails on her phone from weeks ago. A subtle kick underneath her table made her look up and noticed Chadwick’s non-verbal urging for her to at least pretend to care. “Which team are you interested in, Jayme?”

“I really like the Nets! Trenton Hassell to be exact.”

“Do you? Because he averages less than two points a game. There’s not much to like.”

“Trenton is your friend’s boyfriend right, Jay?”

“Does it matter now? Tasha basically called him a bad player.”

“Not bad, per se. He’s terrible. That’s a better adjective.”

“Oh-kay,” Chadwick interjected to end the escalating conversation. “Jay, how’s work at the fashion house going?”

“Ugh, it is amazing! We got some new pieces last night and they are beautiful. Maybe you could come browse one day, Tasha. Style can always use an update.”

“I consider myself more Maxine than Regine. Thanks though. I’m sure the pieces are nice.”

Tasha successfully contained her laughter at Jayme’s expression, feeling her first surge of happiness for the day.

Chadwick felt helpless as the night continued and each attempt at joining two of his favorite women ended in a snarky comment or shady look. Dinner provided a welcome activity that didn’t require group conversation, giving him the opportunity to cater to each woman. The longer they sat and contemplated grabbing cheesecake inside the restaurant or settling for ice cream on the way home, the more he could feel Jayme disconnecting.

“Muffin, do you want the strawberry cheesecake for here or to go,” he asked as she slid her coat from the back of her chair and collected her purse.

“Actually, I don’t feel so well, honey bear. I’m gonna head home.”

“What? So soon? We didn’t even get to dessert.”

Tasha watched Jayme put on her best “sick” face and gagged internally at Chadwick falling for the charade. Jayme was far from physically sick. If she was feeling anything, it was annoyance at the fact that her boyfriend’s best friend had spent the most romantic night of the year taking the attention from her.

“Well, let me walk you outside and wait for the cab to come.”

“Thank you, honey bear.” Jayme accepted Chadwick’s help into her coat, purposely ignoring Tasha until the last second. “Good night, Tasha. Maybe we’ll see each other for another occasion. Hopefully in a less...crowded environment.”

Tasha released a short chuckle before plastering on a fake smile, “Right. I’ll pencil you into my calendar.”

Jayme offered another fake smile and nod before leading the way out of the restaurant into the Brooklyn streets.

“I’ll pencil you in and the erase that shit. Fuck her.”

Time started to drag as she sat at the table alone, looking more foolish with three plates crowding her space than playing seat warmer for the world’s cutest couple. A glance out of the window gave her access to the tail end of Jayme’s departure. Her inability to peel her eyes away from the private moment showed her two things: Chadwick was far more interested in Jayme than she was in him, and she was clearly upset despite the kiss and hug she provided before disappearing into the backseat of her taxi.

Moments later, Chadwick took the seat directly across from Tasha and sighed.

“Go ahead. Tell me that you told me so.”

“I’m not gonna say that friend,” Tasha smiled. “All I’ll say is you’re gonna need one of these cheesecakes to go because mama is PISSED.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so. But, I’m here to help with gift ideas to make up for this dumbass idea. And I ordered us dessert.”

Chadwick’s ear perked at the sound of a sugar rush to end a night full of terrible decisions. “Did you get the cookie thing with the-”

“The vanilla bean ice cream on top? C’mon now! You know me!” Without hesitation, the pair completed their signature handshake before sitting back in their seats. “Sorry for ruining your date, Aaron. I’ll pay the tab as a peace offering.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ll make it up to her. You know there’s a reason she calls me honey bear.”

“Gross. Please, don’t finish that sentence. And what the fuck is Muffin? Are you a white TV dad now?”

Chadwick’s deep belly laugh at CoCo’s expense continued until their shared dessert was placed between them. Instructing Tasha to pick up her spoon, Chadwick began a pseudo-toast.

“To another Valentine’s Day spend together and many more to come!”

Their spoons clinked together in solidarity before the argument of who would get which portion of the cookie began, ending the most romantic day of the year the only way they knew how: together.

_______________

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#Chadwick Boseman #chadwick boseman fan fiction #chadwick boseman imagine #chadwick boseman x reader #chadwick boseman x you #chad x coco #coco x chad

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spideyjlaw · 5 years

Text

My Avengers Endgame World Premiere experience

this is really long, lota rambling feel free to read skim anything idc, no spoilers bc this was on Monday before I saw the movie :)

Ok Ima start Saturday night, this is when I was packing making and painting my posters that said “Thank You Avengers”, I live in California so I didn’t have to fly to this event. At 12am we (my family) we arrive in Los Angeles around 5am. At this time I thought that the premiere was going to be at El Capitan Theatre where it was originally supposed to be. We drive by the theater and we see no one is in line which was weird bc normally there would be people here already so i search and find the location which was switched last min (smh) the drive to the next location wasnt too long but at least i knew i was at the right location bc of the small group of fans and the giant poster that said Avengers Endgame World Premiere. Apparently they changed the location bc they needed a larger screening room and they didnt want tons of fans showing up, there were these girls that were waiting at the El Capitan for 2 hours before they realized something was up. Anyway, we get in line. People who were in charge told the people who stayed over night to go home bc there wasnt going to be a fan area. No one left ofc who would hell no. Then some people went on twitter to talk about it made signs it was confusing but we ended up in a fan area after going through security. We got into the fan area at 12 ish and we had to stand there for another 4 and a half hours before anything exciting happens. Now its around 4pm people are starting to arrive. (THIS IS WHEN THE ACTION STARTS) Benedict Wong then Joe Russo. Not many came all the way down the line, I was the last one on the line before it wrapped around the corner. But I did want to get barricade and able to see action so Im grateful for my spot. Then Anthony Mackie arrives he’s walking to end of the fan area around the small corner but as hes walking right as he gets near me i scream at the top of my lungs, he stops right in front of me and i go “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!ANTHONYYYYY MACKiE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!” he looks at me biggest smile. We had a whole moment together its hard to explain its kinda like a ‘you had to be there moment’ i was the longest person probably a good 20 seconds (which is a long ass time in these times when they are in a rush) he was at and while im screaming and fangirling he air grabs my head to fucking sign my forehead i closed my eyes and accepted it he didnt do it ofc but he was just a fun guy i love him soooo much he signs my posters while saying “There’s no black guy on here” (i did an original 6 themed avengers poster) but he signed than signed my bosslogic poster which he was in. paul rudd comes by hes just a rocking dude i love scott lang sm, he was so sweets v cool guys sm love for him. Then at around 5pm Chris freaking Hemsworth arrives I loose my shit and so does everyone else. Just like Joe, Benedict Wong & Anthony he also went around the corner to make sure they got all of the fans (thank u to all who did this). Ive loved Hemsie for the longest time, i did get teary eyed but i didnt cry (yet) he was just the sweetest I was able to take a crappy photo with him bc i wasnt able to function properly as i took the pic my dumbass was like “iLOvEyoUsOmUCh” its oka cause he has the cutest smile and the bluest eyes oh and i cant stress enough he smelled so good sooooo good normally i hate when guys coat themselves in cologne cause it smells bad, but his didnt, his smelled so good i was so shook like chris drop what cologne u used idc its for guys mama neeeddds. THEN IT hAPPENEd CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS DRIVES BY. Everyone was like “omg is that chris evans?!” I stand on the barricade to see if i can catch a peak, istg the moment the fucking moment he gets out the car i start to bawl my eyes out. This man who has meant more to me than anyone is over there i couldnt believe i was seeing my favorite human ever. I’ve only sobbed right as i saw my fave once before back in 2016 at the Passengers premiere when I met Jennifer Lawrence. People dont really understand the moment like this person has inspired me so much of course im going to cry and sure judge me for it but they helped me through so much. Anyway he looked soo hot in his blue suit and sunglasses. I kinda calm down bc i didnt know if he was going to come all the way down the line and yk my ass wanted a pic but he was cut half way though the people which was upsetting but again im extremely grateful to be able to see him. Then my main fucking man. Sebastian Stan arrives. see ive met the guy before last year at ace comic con (there was tea w my photo op being really messy and i hated it i got a refund u can read about that on my ace comic con post). anyway i see him. i dont cry im trying to wipe my tears i was more prepared cause ive seen him before it was gonna be ok. I lose my shit the man was wearing a baby blue pastel colored suit. fucking beautiful. iconic. very hot of you mr seb ty. hes walking down and hes getting close. he wasnt to smiley, he was taking pics but he was focused on the fans signing for as many fans as possible. He gets to me and he sees our pics then he looks u so we could take a pic and his smile just transforms you can just see his face just glow up it was the truly the cutest this ive ever experience. then we look up from the pic and hes smiling at me i tell him “I love you so much” i hear him chuckle but as he says something his security guy yells “thank you that enough” so ill be posting the vid of us and any lip readers can help a girl out ill love you forever. I ended up being Sebs last person from the fan area. he truly made my day, week fucking year. then other celebs such as jon favreau, benedict cumberbatch comes by. Jeremy Renner comes by. I shoot my shot and make small talk w Jeremy. I go “Hi Jermey how’s your day going?” he goes “I’m doing really good, how bout you?” he signs my things i excitingly tell him “I’m doing great thank you” then he goes “Thank you honey” and smiles at me. It made me really happy, i could tell he was a bit tired but Jeremy is such a sweetheart he doesnt get the credit he deserves i love him sm, ive always has a little part of my heart for Hawkeye. minutes go by. I see Lizzie Olsen, Danai Gurira, beautiful ofc. then i see fucking Mark Ruffalo hes just standing behind one of the SUVs and the sun is on him. He looked like a confused puppy it was so cute and soft, i love my ruffalo buffalo. I took my moment to scream “iS THat MARK ruFFALO?” i dont think he signed for many fans. Scarjo arrives she doesnt sign for many either she looked beautiful v pretty. a little while passes than the most bitching car comes by and stops where the cars stop until the drop off area clears and they can go. we all knew who ever was in that car he was important. then it was his time to go cause the drop off area was cleared. guess who was in the drivers seat. You guessed right. Robert Downey Jr rolling up in an Audi E-TRON, with his wife Susan Downey in the passenger seat. Truly the Tony Stark entrance. he doesnt sign for many ofc. at this time it was getting later near 6pm almost all celebs and guests are inside where the actual premiere set up is. then Vin Diesel comes in. He was the most fan based guy. even though he was running late he ran (literally speed walking) through the whole line of fans around the corner and everything. he had the biggest smile on. wearing his groot jacket. and if u dont know fast and furious are one of my fave franchises of all time so i was having the best time. then that was the last person and we started heading out. i didnt name all who ive seen since there was just to many and i probably missed some things but i loved my experience. i was able to see all the original avengers irl and that made me really happy. this whole cast means the world to me. ill love them forever

#:)#ty to the ones who read #i didnt re read it so if there's any typos oh well ig #avengers endgame world premiere #Endgame prem!

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kronos-the-timelord · 5 years

Note

do all the things !!!! from the admitting stuff post !!!!!!!! I dare you !!!!

i’ll do it,,, i’m not a weinie >:l

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? - it was one of my parents so no 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? - no 3. Have you taken someones virginity? - ???? idk???4. Is trust a big issue for you? - kind of,, i was raised to always be wary of ppl, but my friends are some of the ppl i trust the most5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? - no but he’s coming back to the states tomorrow!!!6. What are you excited for? - my bf coming back7. What happened tonight? - i ordered pizza and took a nap8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? - no, but i do get really worried for them bc ppl suck and are horrible9. Is confidence cute? - fuck yeah!!10. What is the last beverage you had? - water11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? - i trust more women, but the guys i do trust are mostly family and then like 3-5 friends/boyfriend’s family 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? - i only own skinny jeans13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? - hang out with my boy and his family14. What are you going to spend money on next? - probably a background check,,,, im not explaining it further15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? - it was my puppy,,, so no,,, but i do give him many cuddles16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? - probably,,,, hopefully,,17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? - tbh @memeathon and @keencheckerboard bc i see them a lot and ive known them for a while,, theyve heard and seen some things about me18. The last time you felt broken? - uhhhhhhhh,, not really sure,,,,, my memory is bad 19. Have you had sex today? - nope20. Are you starting to realize anything? - nuhuh21. Are you in a good mood? - yes22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? - fuck yeah, sign me up 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? - yes24. What do you want right this second? - more reeses 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? - i think the fuck not,,,,, no26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? - yes, but i wanna dye it27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? - no,, i gotta giggle,,i can’t just laugh at myself28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? - my giant dog was curled up on the smallest section of the couch so my mom could cuddle him 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? - my boyfriend ;-;,, he goes to school in england so he’s been gone most of the past school year30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? - i think it depends on the second chance,, like anyone besides someone who cheated, rape/molested, abused, ect. i feel like can get a second chance31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? - no :0,, it was my boy!! i love him!!!32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? - yes,,, he’s known for like 3-4 years33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? - kind of,,, i prefer to drink water, but sometimes i just need that bubble34. Listening to? - noises on my street35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? - yes!! i love pencils,, but ive been using marker pens lately36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? - he’s downstairs being cuddled my mom bc he’s a cuddly puppy37. Do you believe in love at first sight? - no,, like its more of attraction at first sight,, i wouldn’t call it love38. Who did you last call? - my mom39. Who was the last person you danced with? - i think it was one of my coworkers actually,,, we get bored sometimes and just jam at work when we’re doing nothing else40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? - he’s a v cute puppy,, he needs to know he’s loved41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? - i was actually about to go eat one,,,,42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? - yes!!!43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? - oh,, yeah,,,, definitely,,,,44. Do you tan in the nude? - i don’t tan45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? - no,, in fact, i would give him more smooches46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? - no47. Who was the last person to call you? - my manager Rachel!!! shes great and i love her48. Do you sing in the shower? - sometimes,, not lately tho49. Do you dance in the car? - no,, sneezing is difficult,, dancing is more so 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? - yes!! it was one of the years i was at girl scout camp!!51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? - about a year ago,,, it was for my senior pictures52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? - yes, but they’re great!!!53. Is Christmas stressful? - yes and i hate it 54. Ever eat a pierogi? - maybe??? idk55. Favorite type of fruit pie? - apple56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? - obstetric nurse!!57. Do you believe in ghosts? - yes,, too many weird things have happened to me and my family to not to 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? - yes,, when i was younger i used to get dreams that like, predicted, what was going to happen the next day,, like one that i remember is in 3rd grade is my friend was standing in front of the lockers in a blue shirt (i knew he didnt have one) and the next he came in and showed my his new shirt (blue) that he got after school that matched the lockers59. Take a vitamin daily? - no60. Wear slippers? - sometimes,, but i made them my outside slippers,,, ones that i wear when i dont want to wear actually shoes61. Wear a bath robe? - no, but ive looked at them before,, i want one62. What do you wear to bed? - t-shirt/tank top and either shorts or just my underwear63. First concert? - uhhhh, i think it was one on vacation,, but they were a band that dressed up as the beetles and played their songs64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - ive sold my soul to target65. Nike or Adidas? - adidas (its my bf favorite brand)66. Cheetos Or Fritos? - cheetos67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? - sunflower seeds68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? - look what you made me do69. Ever take dance lessons? - i took ballet when i was younger70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? - not really,,71. Can you curl your tongue? - yes72. Ever won a spelling bee? - i got 3rd place in the one during second grade that was only for the second graders and v unofficial 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? - yes74. What is your favorite book? - the reciever of many series that @kata-chthonia has written,, its really good 10/10 would recommend 75. Do you study better with or without music? - its gotta be instrumentals or i do have a playlist that only has an africa cover my ninja sex party and i listen to that on repeat76. Regularly burn incense? - no,, but i burn many candles77. Ever been in love? - yes78. Who would you like to see in concert? - no one,,, im not the biggest fan of concerts79. What was the last concert you saw? - my highschools band 80. Hot tea or cold tea? - hot tea!!81. Tea or coffee? - tea!!!82. Favorite type of cookie? - chocolate chip83. Can you swim well? - yes,,, not commonly known fact but i wear a size 11 shoe (they’re actually bigger than my boyfriends and i think thats hilarious) so my feet are kinda like flippers84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? - yes, but not for long85. Are you patient? - yes86. DJ or band, at a wedding? - probably a dj bc its cheaper, but a band sounds fun!!!87. Ever won a contest? - yes, but it was a v tiny one on amino that im not part of any more 88. Ever have plastic surgery? - nope and dont want it89. Which are better black or green olives? - black,, but i do like the purple ones90. Opinions on sex before marriage? - im cool with it,, just depends on the ppl91. Best room for a fireplace? - living room92. Do you want to get married? - yeah

#here you go #its about me #yeah

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dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

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drarrytrash · 6 years

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Death Cab for Cutie Drarry Primer: All the Death Cab Songs and Why They Make Good Drarry Songs

I Dreamt We Spoke Again

Lyrics: is anything the way it used to be? / I dreamt we spoke again / But when I awoke / I could not remember / Anything you said

When it works: Three years after the war, Harry can’t stop dreaming about Draco, but when he wakes up, all he can remember is the haunted look on his face.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Lyrics: If Heaven and Hell decide / That they both are satisfied / Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs / If there's no one beside you / When your soul embarks / Then I'll follow you into the dark

When it works: if this song doesn’t work for your pairing, I’m sorry to report that you don’t actually love them enough

You’ve Haunted Me All My Life

Lyrics: You've haunted me all my life / You're always out of reach when I'm in pursuit // And there's a flaw in my heart's design / For I keep trying to make you mine

When it works: Anyone else weirdly fixated on your childhood rival in a way that only gets more complicated and intense as you get older and find yourself engaged in a war you never asked for and don’t know how to stop? yeah me neither lol

El Dorado

Lyrics: And I tried to be kind for you / Oh I'm trying to be kind for you / As you slip away behind the gates / Behind the gates

When it works: When you come back to Hogwarts for your eighth year and your old nemesis only looks at you with dead eyes and all you want to do is hold him, why is it that you want to hold him? Why is it that the further he pulls away from you the more you want him to do something, anything - hit you even - just so you know you still exist?

Stay Young, Go Dancing

Lyrics: I'm renewed, oh how I feel like / Through winter's advancing, we'll stay young go dancing / Stay young go dancing

When it works: This is one of those happy pub AUs, where the war is over and that means its okay to heal and love and dance and forgive everyone and most importantly yourself.

Soul Meets Body

Lyrics: I want to live where soul meets body / And let the sun wrap its arms around me and / Bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing / And feel what it's like to be new

When it works: anyone know two boys who are haunted by their pasts and longing for intimacy?

Different Names for the Same Thing

Lyrics: Coasts disappear when the sea drowns the sun / I've no words to share with anyone / Boundaries of language quietly curse / All different names for the same thing

When it works: Harry is trying to find himself but he doesn’t know where to go or what to say. Draco finds him eventually, and they find the words together. What Sarah Said

Lyrics: love is watching someone die / so who’s gonna watch you die

When it works: A n y one else ne a r l y ki l l y o u r arch ri v a l i n a b a t h room O n e ti m e

Transatlanticsm

Lyrics: I need you so much closer / So come on; come on

When it works: the horrible part of this song is that its 7 minutes so the “i need you so much closer” is not just like, a request, its like, a plea. If you don’t understand the desperation in this song I literally cannot explain it to you.

Tiny Vessels

Lyrics: This is the moment that you know / That you told you loved her but you don't. / You touch her skin and then you think / That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

When it works: Love that good ol spicy “oh no i’ve just realized I’m gay and my relationship with my wife-who-i-love-but-not-like-that is falling apart, better get involved in a ill-advised courtship/disaster with my old schooltime rival who has Always been bad news for me.”

Black Sun

Lyrics: There is whisky in the water / And there is death upon the vine / And there is grace within forgiveness / But it's so hard for me to find / How could something so fair / Be so cruel

When it works: After the war, Harry doesn’t know how to forgive himself for everything that’s happened and Draco is the last place he should be looking for redemption.

Lack of Color

Lyrics: I slur a plea for you to come home / But I know it’s too late / And I should have given you a reason to stay

When it works: This is one of those fucked up like “they used to be in love but broke up for whatever reason but they’re both Heartbroken and Still Love Each Other” and u get like 40k of horrible depressed pining and side characters like gently laying their hand on Draco/Harry’s hand and saying “he was good for you, you know”/”i just want you to be happy, Draco/Harry”/”he misses you” and then eventually they have Extremely emotional makeup sex and get back together.

Your Heart is an Empty Room

Lyrics: The flames and smoke climbed out of every window / And disappeared with everything that you held dear / And you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need / Cause you knew you were finally free

When it works: I’m just saying there’s a parallel between the physical destruction of Hogwarts and the destruction of Draco Malfoy’s old life and maybe both things can be rebuilt newer and stronger.

Passenger Seat

Lyrics: I roll the window down / And then begin to breathe in / The darkest country road / And the strong scent of evergreen / From the passenger seat as you are driving me home / Then looking upwards / I strain my eyes and try / To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites / From the passenger seat as you are driving me home / Do they collide? / I ask and you smile / With my feet on the dash / The world doesn't matter / When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride / When you need directions then I'll be the guide / For all time

When it works: I literally don’t care what muggle AU scenario you need to concoct to make this work, this is literally the most romantic fucking song of all time. This song is like ‘everything is healed, were you sad? not anymore. now everything is okay. you’re safe. nothing is bad here. you’re safe, baby.’

#drarry #i said i was going to sleep but as usual i was a liar and i am going to sleep NOW #sorry my theme text is kinda hard to read #if you dont listen to death cab consider this your cordial invitation to be sad

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mwya · 6 years

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get to know me tag 🐺

i was tagged by @cheolcolate to do this!! tysm!! (i was actually reading your tag and thinking it would be fun to do before i even realized you tagged me asdfg)

nickname: maya is my full name and its too short to nickname so i go by maya!! people have tried and failed

gender: female

zodiac: virgo

height: 5′6

age: 18

time: it’s 2:10 PM rn

favorite bands/ solo artists: ooooooo boy ok so my favorite artist is jack johnson and hes solo, followed by hozier. i also love christina aguilera, ariana grande, & bruno mars. i love eric nam. as for bands svt is first, followed by like p much all the other kpop bands i like such as monsta x, astro, got7, red velvet, day6. i like some other bands like arctic monkeys, gorillaz, & maroon 5.

song stuck in your mind: my best friend just shared that fuckin dobby video with chandelier playing in the back so; chandelier - sia

last movie i saw: uhhh i think i watched a bit of thor: ragnarok yesterday

last thing i googled: wolf face emoji

other blogs: i think this is asking for my other blogs?? if thats the case i run an astro sideblog !! and i have a main but i dont wanna link it bc its super old n im gonna deactivate it soon anyways lol

do i get asks: sometimes!! definitely not everyday but people do send me things, and i love getting them!!

why i chose my username: i love hoshi. next question

following: 110

average amount of sleep: uhhhh i try to go to bed around 11 or 12 and usually i wake up pretty early like 9 so i guess on average thats like 10 hrs??

lucky number: i dont rly think i have a lucky number per se but i like 3

what am i wearing: im wearing an old tie dye camp tshirt and some blue shorts

dream job: oof idek anymore. ive had so many phases in my life but at this point ill settle for anything fulfilling to me and that keeps a roof over my head

dream trip: bitch i went to the bahamas when i was a kid and it was so fukin nice im salty i wasnt old enough to appreciate it. id love to go back in the future either alone, with whoever im seeing or friend(s).

favorite food: pizza

play any instruments: i used to! i used to play clarinet and then piano but im well out of practice

favorite song: mmmm sunsets for somebody else - jack johnson

play(ed) any sports: i tried a lot of things when i was younger i did acro for like 2 yrs and karate for 1 yr but idrk if that counts

hair color: brown

eye color: brown

most iconic song: toxic - britney spears

language you speak/ are learning: my first (and only) language is english and im not learning anything rn. i wish i spoke spanish but thats a dream ill never achieve. im rly bad at languages lmfao

random fact: i can wiggle my pinky toe separately (idk if this was supposed to be about me or not but its too late now)

describe yourself as aesthetics/things: im basically that tea you were super excited to drink but then forgot you had so then you chug it while its cold. idk im not good at writing aesthetics

i’ll tag; @desideriiumm, @happyshua, @joohoneylove, @castielsinwhite, @10verboy, & @hoshjeon !! like i always say pls dont feel pressured to do this!! also, if you want to do this but werent tagged you can always tag me !

#tagged #im so happy you tagged me asdfgh #i love gettin tagged for stuff its fun!!

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reactivebangtan · 6 years

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REQUEST: Are your requests open? I didn’t see anything saying that they weren’t so I’m sorry if they’re not. But if they are could you possibly do a BTS reaction to when their S/O comes home after a really stressful day at work and something really little and trivial sets them off and makes them cry? I work in a memory care facility and today was literally the worst. REQUESTED BY: anonymous WARNINGS: nothing! NOTES: this is so late but i hope your day got a little better! ♡

he could see it as soon as you walked in the door — your usual smile upon hearing his ‘ welcome home, sweetheart! ’ was dim, your eyes seemed distant ( he’d bet anything that your head wasn’t where your body was ), and even your feet seemed out of place as you moved from the front door. there was no telling what caused it or how bad the damage was, but he didn’t bother second-guessing himself when he asked: ❝ are you okay, babe? ❞ from his place in the kitchen — he’d gotten so used to cooking meals late to accommodate your work schedule that he simply found himself there around this time everyday — he could see the way your whole body tensed, the way you paused, the way his question rolled over you and he could see exactly when it hit you. it seems that was all it took, as even though your mouth never opened, the tears that immediately welled in your eyes and shook your shoulders answered his question all on their own. instantly, you had two strong arms wrapping themselves around your body and supporting your weight, allowing you to lean into him completely as the shell you’d precariously built around yourself came crumbling down. sobs shook your body, your limbs trembled with every inhale and your chest squeezed with every exhale, and even though seokjin held you up it felt as if the floor was coming out from under you. after consistently holding it in all day it felt almost therapeutic to let it go, though, and once he sat you down and your cries calmed into little hiccups and gasps you could feel the weight of the day sliding off you in languid, heavy waves. every once in a while his thumb would pass over your cheek to catch a stray tear, or you’d feel his mouth press to the side of your head, as if he wanted to make sure you knew he was still there, sitting with you — he never asked another question, never bothered to shush you, simply allowing you to get it all out until you couldn’t cry anymore. and, by the time you did finally stop, he smiled at you like your eyes weren’t puffy and your nose wasn’t running and your make-up wasn’t streaked all over the place — he smiled like it was his first time seeing you walk through the door, like he’d been missing you all day, like he didn’t mind all the mess. there’s no ‘ do you feel better, now? ’, no ‘ get it all out? ’, no trying to cheer you up and simply move past this, just the serene calm that washes over you when he brushes your hair back and kisses your forehead one more time. ❝ how does a bath sound? you can soak the day off, and dinner should be finished by the time you get out. come on — i’ll start it for you. ❞

yoongi tried not to take it too personally when your response to him showing up at your place was dismissive and almost tired, brushing it off as you simply being exhausted from working so much lately. he even chalks up the way you grumble to yourself while in the kitchen to mere fatigue, opting to hover in the doorway rather than get in your way as you seemingly argue with the vegetables and scowl at the seasonings. it isn’t until a certain scent hits his nose that he actually makes his way into the warzone, sniffing all the way up to the undeniable source before noting it as blatantly as possible: ❝ you burnt the rice. ❞ when his gaze moves from the mess inside the pot to your face he expects to see that glare fixated on him, but instead is met with you covering your mouth and turning away as soon as you notice he’s looking at you. a strange reaction to say the least, but then you were never exactly normal by any means, and it’s another thing he’s willing to excuse away until he sees the way your shoulder trembles and your breath shudders out of you, choking halfway out. it takes all of five seconds to realize what’s happening, before he’s rushing towards you with all the intent to make it stop and no real idea how. the first words that clumsily tumble out of his mouth are: ❝ it’s not that bad, ❞ but when your immediate response is a choked ❝ it’s not that, ❞ his shoulders are slumping a little further and his brows furrowing even tighter. he doesn’t try to assume what’s got you upset, aware of the fact that you’ll tell him sooner or later and that it takes more than an educated guess to understand. instead, he opts for taking you into his arms and shushing you, holding you as close as he can without completely suffocating you. yoongi has never been the best with affection, but he’s certainly not the worst, either — this shows, now, with the way his hand cradles the back of your head and leans it on his shoulder, and how he says nothing when he feels your tears soaking into the material of his shirt and hitting his skin. it isn’t the first time you’ve cried in front of yoongi, and yet you still feel ashamed through the tears and the sobs and the whimpers — clutching onto the material of his shirt, you try to stand up straight, to get yourself together, but your knees are weak and you’re so tired and all you can do is lean against him and apologize, because what else is there to do? ❝ i’m sorry — ❞ you start, but he doesn’t let you finish, quieting your weak, trembling voice with a strong: ❝ don’t be. just let it out. ❞ and, you swear he holds you a little tighter, pulls you a little closer, before you’re wrapped entirely in him.

❝ hey, babe! ❞ hoseok’s cheery voice on the other side of the phone line is almost enough to lift your spirits right away, and you almost feel as if he knew you weren’t feeling like yourself — he always seems to call when things start to look gloomy, especially when he couldn’t be there — the thought bringing a little smile to your face. ❝ hey, hobi, ❞ comes your exhausted greeting, spoken on a heavy sigh ( he’s always done that to you, dragged the air right out of you somehow, like a simple breath could knock away the weight of the world, like he has the right to steal your breath away ). ❝ what’s up? ❞ you exchange your usual conversation collectively recounting all the little steps of your day, odd chatter in the background of his end filling the silence between words and your solemn breathing, all as you prepare your dinner and buzz about your kitchen. another thing you loved about him; he listened to anything you had to say, soaking it all in like a sponge and relishing in it, all because he couldn’t be there with you to experience it all firsthand — it’s second best to the real thing, but it’s enough. it isn’t until you accidentally swipe your hand over the counter in a grand display to what you were explaining that conversation stops mid-sentence and he’s left questioning you as to why you’ve gone quiet — you say nothing, already feeling your throat closing up at the sight before you begins swimming in a blend of color and shapes as tears fill your eyes. food — the last of the food you have in your house — is now all over the floor and painting the sides of your counters, and you swear you see a crack in the side of the bowl you had put it all in. all hoseok gets is a quiet chanting of ‘ no, no, no, no, ’ and more questions than answers. sure, it was cheap food and the bowl was plastic, but you were looking forward to finally sitting down and enjoying something today, and yet it seems the divines have other plans. ❝ what happened? are you okay? ❞ ❝ no, ❞ you whine, voice now clouded and thick with the frustration and despair that had built a home in your chest and decided to, apparently, live there. his chest aches, too, when he hears the way you whimper helplessly into the phone. ❝ my dinner is all over the floor and i have nothing else to eat and the bowl is broken and it’s everywhere and — ❞ ❝ okay! okay, hey, breathe, ❞ it’s all he can do to cut you off, evening out his own breathing and listening for yours to do the same. ❝ it’s okay. it’s just food, right? you didn’t get hurt? ❞ waiting again to hear your affirmation, the smallest of smiles worms its way onto his face — god, you could be wailing at the top of your lungs, and he’d still think you’re cute. ❝ i’ve got an idea — can you wait to clean it up? ❞ ❝ yeah, i guess... ❞ you sniffle, wiping away the few stray tears that escaped your eyes in the midst of your despair. ❝ why? ❞ ❝ 'cause i’m coming over to help! ❞ he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you can just hear the door close behind him as he saunters out into the world, on his way to find you. ❝ and, i’m bringing pizza. unlock your door for me, okay? ❞

a sudden gasp and a yelped ‘ no, please don’t — ! ’ from the other room is enough to get namjoon up and out of the professional stupor he’d been in for the last three hours, finally leaving his pen and paper behind for the sake of whatever you’d gotten yourself into this time. he’s prepared for something spilled or something ripped or perhaps something broken, but what he isn’t prepared for is to see you standing over something spilled, ripped and broken with tears in your eyes. your latest book, one you’d been particularly excited about reading, lay at your feet with the pages soaked through with juice you’d left sitting on the side, words bleeding out into the paper and smearing, one page even half-torn and dangling just past the rest. in an effort to save it, you’d grabbed the closest thing available — which ended up being one of your shirts from the day before — and began desperately pressing it to the pages in order to soak some of the mess up. it did very little, and only caused you to get more frustrated, which ended up in another influx of tears. ❝ hey, babe, it’s okay, ❞ namjoon’s soothing voice washes over you as he steps farther into the room, causing you to finally look up from the disaster before you. ❝ i can buy you a new one, alright? please don’t cry over it. ❞ his words drip with honey, sugared in sympathy and a level of care that only he can produce, just as his hands reach out to wipe away the freshest of your tears as they trail hotly down your cheeks. ❝ it’s not just the book, ❞ you start, lip quivering — his heart breaks a little at the sight of it. ❝ everything’s been going wrong today. everything. ❞

it’s impossible to imagine how frustrated you must be just by your words alone, but he’s got a pretty good idea — he’s well acquainted with the sentiment, knowing far too well how it feels to have everything seemingly out of your control, crashing down around you and swallowing you up in the aftermath. watching as you spare another glance at the mess that is your destroyed book and seeing the way your shoulders sag in defeat, he spares one last glance himself at the door he’d walked through only moments before and sets his mouth in a hard-line; work can wait, he decides. ❝ well, we can’t go wrong with takeout, right? ❞ a smile alights his face when you shrug in response, nodding shortly after. ❝ how about we call some food in and just chill out for the night? we can... watch some movies or something. something with a happy ending. how does that sound? ❞ his smile only grows when you notices your own slowly bringing itself to life on the deadened features you’d taken to, just as you reach up to swipe away the last of the evidence of your minor breakdown. you glow, again ( at least, in his eyes ). ❝ yeah... that sounds perfect. ❞

you’ve held it in all day, expertly avoided questions like ‘ hey, are you okay? ’ and smiled every time someone got a little too close to seeing through your facade. it took all the willpower you had to not either leave or breakdown in the bathroom, already beyond frustrated with most everything going on — it didn’t help that nothing seemed to go your way, everything that could go wrong was and absolutely no one seemed to care but you. because of all this, you can’t help the relief that washes over you when you’re standing in front of your front door, knowing that beyond lay not only a bottle of wine and a cozy bed, but also your loving boyfriend. ❝ jimin? ❞ you call out as you shut it behind you, unable to help yourself from seeking him out almost immediately. getting a soft ‘ back here! ’ in return, you begin trailing to the back of your shared apartment, a little smile beginning to bloom on your lips as the comfortable silence in the house lapses over everything else and peace surrounded you. you’re no longer paying attention to what room you enter or how your body swerves around different corners, only aware of the fact that he’d be waiting there with open arms and that dazzling smile of his at the end. it isn’t until your feet hit the cold tile floor of your bathroom that you stop to notice the walls that encase you and, in turn, the divine scene set before you. candles were precariously placed on all the places they’d fit ( one balanced on the sink, on the back of the toilet, two on the thin rims of the bathtub, even one on the floor ), water was filled to the brim of the tiny tub with petals delicately scattered over the surface and a pleasant aroma filled the air — cinnamon and sugar and sweet almond, a soft blend that hits you just as your eyes settle on the man you’d been waiting hours to see. ❝ what is all of this? ❞ you ask, and he doesn’t seem to notice the tremble in your voice right away, instead smiling sheepishly in return and averting his gaze nervously. ❝ well, you texted me that you weren’t feeling well, and you always do this sort of thing for me when i’m not feeling my best, so... ❞ when all he gets in silence in return he finally forces himself to look at you and gauge your reaction, as, for some reason beyond him, he was utterly terrified to see what it was. did he do too much? too little? did he mess something up? the horror only doubled when he saw you covering your mouth and tears springing to your eyes, threatening to flow freely any moment — the candles flickered against them, alighted them and gived them a glow, and suddenly all he wanted to do was snuff them out. despite the fear and anxiety, he rushes to you within an instant and hovers just outside of touching you for fear of provoking you further: ❝ ah! did i do something wrong? i didn’t mean to make you cry! ❞ ❝ no, ❞ you manage to choke out, one hand shooting out to balance yourself on his bicep, squeezing and trying to ground yourself; eventually, you have no choice but to shut your eyes and let the tears fall from your lashes. ❝ it’s nothing you did. this is — this is wonderful, jimin, thank you. ❞ the fear dissolves as your words spill as clumsily from your lips as your tears from your eyes, but the anxiety remains nuzzled into his chest, just as you do a moment later. this time, without hesitation, he wraps his arms around you and supports your weight as you try to calm yourself down, reign yourself in, and when you fail to do even that. ❝ did something happen at work today? ❞ ❝ something like that, ❞ comes your weak response. ❝ i’m sorry, jimin. you must’ve worked really hard to do all of this, and yet i’m... ❞ ❝ it’s okay, ❞ his voice is so sweet, so soft, whispered right into your ear, warming your skin. ❝ you know i don’t mind. besides, you can still enjoy it, right? ❞ sinking into his arms and filling your lungs with air ( and, in turn, the scent he’d chosen ), you allow your heart to settle in your chest and the tears to slow, the ache in your head subsiding — how did you ever get to be so lucky? ❝ can... we enjoy it? ❞ a chuckle is your immediate response, before he’s kissing the top of your head and smoothing his hands down your sides — he takes his time sliding his fingertips beneath the hem of your shirt and lifting it just as slowly, caressing the dip of your hip and the curve of your waist as he does so, and the rest of your clothes are slipped off all in the same way: ❝ i’d like that. ❞

water thoroughly soaks through the material of your clothing and the chill that comes with it sinks into your skin and aches in your bones, all of which cause you to tremble and shake. you can see no sign of the rain stopping anytime soon, and all you can think is how this is the perfect ending to the worst sort of day — it can’t get any worse, you mock yourself in your head. now all i can do is look up! right. you couldn’t look up if you wanted to at the moment, unless you wanted to drown, both physically ( which you know isn’t exactly possible, but after considering your luck for the day you decide not to take the risk ) and metaphorically. the noise of water hitting concrete drowned out your groans and little whimpers, the cold coaxing them out of you over and over, until you weren’t sure you knew how to make any other sound. thankfully, you managed to find an overhanging roof that you could tuck yourself under, but every so often the wind would blow the rain onto you anyway, and it dripped incessantly from above, soaking into your hair. without truly realizing it, you begin to tear up, salt mingling with the fresh water clinging to your form — it isn’t until you feel the warmth racing down your cheek and cooling by the time it drips off your chin that you truly realize. it made sense, after a day like this — it seemed no matter how hard you worked things wouldn’t go right, and you could see the annoyance in your co-workers eyes every single time you messed up even slightly, until you couldn’t bare to look them in the eye anymore. those you were helping never seemed to be satisfied, and your help seemed to just add to their problems, until you tried to hang back and interact as little as possible. eventually, this all added up to you getting yelled at and reprimanded for things you couldn’t really help, which, although it wasn’t your breaking point, it was pretty damn close. and, if that weren’t enough, you were looking forward to finally going home and being able to relax, maybe grab a glass of that good wine you’ve been waiting to serve and take a hot bath, until even that was taken from you as soon as you stepped up to the exit. you could feel the cold from the other side of the glass, and you tried to prepare yourself, you really did, but the walk back home was far too long for weather like this. still, you had no other choice. it is, afterall, how you got here. the world around you seems bleak, without life and color, and the sheer loneliness of it has you clutching at yourself in order to ground yourself — the feeling brings you back to the real world just enough for you to shove your hand into your bag and rummage around in order to find your phone, finally resorting to your last option. when the line clicks and you hear him shuffling around, you don’t even give him a chance to say ‘ hello? ’: ❝ tae? ❞ ❝ y/n? is everything okay? ❞ ❝ if ‘ okay ’ is being drenched and freezing, then yes, ❞ you try to reply smoothly, but you’re certain he can hear the tremble in your voice. ❝ are you, by any chance, busy? ❞ ❝ too busy to come pick you up? no, ❞ his reply is smooth, though, and it eases you just a little. ❝ send me your location. ❞ waiting there for him seems to take forever, and the lonely streets only get lonelier and lonelier the longer you’re left standing there, by yourself, anticipating everything and nothing all at once. you find yourself thinking things like ‘ what if he doesn’t come? ’ and ‘ what if he forgets? ’ despite knowing he’d never do such a thing. and, you thought you were crying before, but the relief that washes over you when you finally spot taehyung’s car is enough to bring it all back, your lip trembling and your eyes stinging. it’s damn near overwhelming, how it forces the air out of your lungs and has you clutching ever tighter to yourself. it doesn't get bad, though, until you actually see him stepping out of the car, your eyes immediately meeting through the thick curtain of water dividing you. with an umbrella in hand and his destination seemingly nothing but you, you get all choked up and practically run to him when he’s close enough. the umbrella just barely shields you both from the onslaught of rain, but it’s enough to get you both in the car, his clothes, for the most part, unscathed. and, in the immense relief comes even more as you feel the hot air coming out of the car, momentarily blinding you to the fact that you’re still crying. it was impossible to stop yourself, to shut it all down, and by the time you’re trying to simply it and the evidence of the torrential downpour off your cheeks, he notices. ❝ bad day? ❞ he asks, reaching out far enough to lay a hand over your thigh, squeezing. ❝ yeah, ❞ you breathe. ❝ the worst. i’m sorry for taking you away from whatever you were doing, though. ❞ ❝ don’t be — i didn’t even know it was raining until you called, otherwise i would’ve come to pick you up at work. ❞ not once today has someone said ‘ don’t be ’ to you today when you apologized, not once have they showed you sympathy, and not once have they shown you care. that is the final straw. ❝ thank you, ❞ you start, eyes watering and mouth turned up into the softest, shakiest smile. he only looks at you briefly, trying to keep his attention fixated on the road, but whatever he manages to see is enough to make him frown. ❝ thank you, taehyung. ❞ ❝ thank me when we get back to the dorms, ❞ comes his curt reply, another swift squeeze on your thigh stopping you from saying otherwise or arguing with his decision. ❝ they’re closer, and i don’t want you getting sick from staying in those clothes. this project shouldn't’ take much longer, anyway, so i should be able to spend some time with you tonight. we can... order take-out, and just sit around or watch a movie or something. how does that sound? ❞ ❝ sounds like the best thing i’ve heard all day. ❞

among the top of the list of things you love about jungkook is his spirited, competitive mentality that always seemed to push him to do his best in anything and everything — it was one of the things that attracted you to him in the first place, one of those things you find endearing ( most people look at you weird for that, but you don’t mind ), and something you deal well with. sure, you might get a little competitive yourself, but it didn’t seem to matter who really won to you when you were with him. whether you won or lost you got something out of it, whether it be his cute pout or his beautiful smile. this is why, after you got home and he could practically see the stress rolling off you in tangible waves, then proceeded to offer to play you on your favorite video game you couldn’t see it going wrong. a perfect way to unwind after a long day and vent your frustrations, right? wrong. every time you got your score beat and your ass virtually kicked it just seemed like a repeat of the whole day — you couldn’t do anything right, the buttons weren’t working the way they were supposed to and you just kept failing. you couldn’t even win one time! not once! just as quickly as the frustration had melted away when you stepped through the front door, it seemed to return just as fast the longer you stared at that damn screen, the bright colors and lively music taunting you. where his usual little whoops of triumph and victory dance might’ve warmed you on a normal day, today they only set the feeling in stone and weighed down on your shoulders like absolutely everything else. it isn’t until he wins for the tenth time that you really start to feel it, though, that overwhelming and suffocating sort of frustration that makes your chest ache and your head hurt and everything in you tense at the sensation of it. the controller protested with a subtle crackling noise as your hands tightened around it, and it was all you could do to simply look away and clench your jaw. i will not cry over this, you chant in your head. i will not cry over this. no matter of trying to convince yourself would work, though, as even though your eyes are closed you can feel the tears building up behind your lids. the heat of them is overwhelming, burning their way past your lashes and trailing down your cheeks before you can even try to stop them. ❝ babe? ❞ jungkook breaks you from your inner turmoil, just as he’s leaning close to you to get a glimpse of your expression, but can’t quite reach that far. ❝ you’re not really that mad about losing, are you? ❞ it’s all you can offer, a shake of your head instead of words that come out on a shaky breath and crack halfway up your throat, so weak in tone that you just feel that much more worthless. you know he can hear it anyway, that he knows, that you’re not hiding it as well as you would’ve liked to. ❝ babe? ❞ he asks once again, his question now soft and tender and so, so aware. ❝ are you... are you crying? ❞ there’s no need to look at him to know his mouth is turned down and his brows are pinched together, and there’s no need for him to see your face when he already knows tears are marring it all the way down your cheeks. suddenly, though, he’s moving from his seat to stand in front of you, his controller tumbling from his lap and clattering to the floor — the noise has your eyes popping open, only to see him standing there, looking at you with those big, worry-filled eyes. the sympathy is damn near tangible, rolling off of him in thick, languid waves that wash over you until you’re crying all over again. ❝ i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ it’s not you, ❞ you start, assuring him of your words with a squeeze to his bicep. ❝ today has just been — ❞ the words get caught in your throat just from remembering it all, leading to you momentarily choking on them. ❝ nothing’s been going right, i kept messing up at work, i can’t even do this right, and it’s making me feel so — so worthless. ❞ he never knows what to do in these situations, can never think of the right thing to say, too caught up in the fact that you’re hurting to think of anything else. the best thing he can do is run his hand down the length of your arm until he can lace his fingers together with yours, holding on to you as tight as he can in hopes of grounding you here, with him. ❝ you know i’m not... good at this sort of thing, but is there anything i can do? ❞ it takes you moment to think about it, but the idea comes quickly enough: ❝ could we maybe just... lay down for a bit? ❞ the idea of being all wrapped up in him is almost as therapeutic as the real thing, and you can feel your heart slowing down at just the thought — even if it’s just being close to him, or the smell of him, or his heat radiating against your side you feel calm instantaneously. ❝ yeah, of course, but are you sure you want me there? i just made you cry. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t you, ❞ you remind him, squeezing his hand right back. ❝ i couldn’t think of anything else today, other than coming home to you. being near you, it... it helps me. you help me. ❞ a sheepish smile works its way onto his lips, and he’s finally looking like himself again — worry is still evident on his features, but it’s become dim and overwhelmed by the joy now twinkling in his eyes from your words. ❝ let’s go, then, ❞ he replies, taking to picking you up straight out of your seat and depositing you into his arms, holding you close to him even when your squirming and exclamation of ‘ kookie! ’ says you can walk perfectly fine on your own. ❝ what? we’ll get there faster like this! ❞ ( and, despite your pushing at his chest and adamant wiggling, a smile has bloomed upon your face and your tears have begun to dry, that renewed twinkle reflecting in your eyes as well. )

#reactions.#requests.#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts reacts to #bts reader insert #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #they all came out so cute :(

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slommyyyy · 6 years

Text

marvel asks!!

this is rlly long folks prepare your asses

steve: are you small or tall?

im rlly fucking short!!! bitch!!! im like five two!! hopefully i get a growth spurt soon bc bitch i dont wanna climb shit

bucky: what’s your favorite memory?

i have a bunch actually!! im gonna limit it to three bc aa theres too many,,

SO!!! i had met viv about two months prior, and it was the summer and i was outside!! stargazing bc!! damn b its fun!! and we were texting bc ahe just woke up, and then!!!! a neighborhood cat came, and we talked abt the cat and stars and it was so nice??

anytime from when i was little at night!! stars, catching fireflies, going to the local water park, being at the beach w my mom and eating pizza, grilling hamburgers outside w my brother... mmm man i cant tell you HOW happy summer makes me?? we used to sit outside and catch fireflies and swim in an old shitty pool, and have to go inside ONLY if the amount of airplanes that flew over us was had a factor of 3, bc that number was my fav hgckygvk

fjbueod this sounds stupid bUT!! i rlly love skyping my friends?? like watching vine comps w steph and izzy, or that one time most of us all got in one MASSIVE call and micah flipped me off in front of my mom,, but anyway i had a call w my friends, and they all went out/ to sleep, and by myself, i realized?? these people make me feel so happy?? like i had been really sad for a long time and everyone just made me... good??? i watched the sun rise that morning, and i felt rlly complete man, like a new chapter of my life was starting

sam: what makes you happy?

my friends, music, and art a lot!!! also dogs in general,,

peggy: what’s your favorite era?

dude have you seen the music i listen to?? 80s/90s are my shit

thor: what’s your favorite weather?

if im outside?? warm to the point where youre sticky with sweat, but its pleasant, and dont feel like youre dying. if im inside?? summer rain!! i like the calming patter of rain and the thunder kinda just?? being there man!! watch a movie and listen to music to that jazz!!! play a ukulele or read a book!!! that weather makes me so happy

valkyrie: what’s your favorite drink?

cherry cola!! BUT!! i like the kind from those cool machines at movie theaters!! since like the canned stuff??? tastes brown w a liiiiittle bit of magenta. the bottled stuff??? more magenta but still mostly brown. the theater stuf??? hoLY SHIT!!! ITS LIKE BRIGHT PINK!!! MUTED W SOME BROWNS AND TASTES SO GOOD!!

heimdall: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

dude i cant plan the future tbh?? like maybe at college?? maybe taking time for my mental health?? idk!! also lmAO w my luck id be dead,, have you SEEN how much i get injured??? i fell off one (1) stair and broke my ankle for three weeks fsuvbeieu

korg: are you optimistic or pessimistic?

im actually realistic tbh?? i have a bad habit of looking at things from a point where its realistic to the point where its apathetic and,,, i gotta fix that man,, (also im not including my anxiety inthat bc iF I DID LMAO IDK W H A T ID BE)

peter: are you good at keeping secrets?

yeah!! unless its smth serious, then i try to get the person help from someone im POSITIVE is trustworthy, unless im positive its under control :0

ned: who is your best friend?

no!!!! no picking!!! i love all of my friends in dif ways!!! my friend cc?? my meme-y jam bud who complains abt our english teacher!! em?? fuCKIN RAD!!!! izzy?? we talk abt girls and how we love our moms!! lui?? a badass bitch!!!! kyra and jo??? my b99 buds!!! my brother was my only friend for literal years!!! id say more but this would get way too long i love all of my friends!!

michelle: do you like to go to parties?

lmaO NO IVE GOT RLLY BAD SOCIAL/GENERAL ANXIETY,, that and im never invited to any uyebve

liz: who was your high school crush?

this rlly cute girl in a few of my classes!! im too scared to talk to her thOUGH HBCEUIBS

aunt may: who or what are you most protective over?

my brother!!! holy fuck man i nearly decked some kids when i was little,,, this sounds edgy but my brother had some issues w social settings, so he was bullied, so i helped stand up for him!! we took boxing lessons for two years bitch!! got pizza on thursdays after!!.

t'challa: what is the most important thing your parents taught you?

my mom taught me to always do what i love, and i love her man,, wonderful woman,,,

shuri: are you a good driver?

bro i cant even drive and have a fear of cars

nakia: what causes are you passionate about?

a lot actually!!! rn its mostly LGBTQ+ rights, immigration, and gun control!!! i rlly enjoy arguing, but only the kind where both sides listen to each other, yknow?? bc people yelling hurts my head efvhbied

okoye: do you speak more than one language?

no,, i only speak english and have the german abilities of a two year old

m'baku: are you vegetarian?

no, sorry!! i dont eat much meat tho so i could probably go vegetarian p easily lmAO

killmonger: sunrises or sunsets?

ooo!!! i love both!! i love seeing sunrises in the morning, but i think i gotta say sunsets!! the colors are rlly pretty

peter quill: what’s your favorite song from your childhood?

my brother and i used to SCREECH hooked on a feeling its a fuckin bop

gamora: do you like to dance?

its fun but i physically??? cant?? my body doesnt know how to move so i awkwardly sway to shitty 80s music uekfbs

nebula: do you get along with your siblings?

yeah!!! my brothers one of my closest friends, and even though hes older than me,, im still shook by how old hes gotten,,,, bitches stay off the roads hes got no coordination

groot: are you quiet or talkative?

it depends on who im with!!! or how my brain is working that day!! with large groups im rlly quiet but in front of a crowd or with one to four-ish friends i know well??? ill talk your ear off,,, also sometimes my brain says!! socializing is hard so oh well

rocket: have you changed a lot since you were younger?

hdfubvyuedsvbdsiUHDBSCUI HELL YEAH!!!! dude ive developed my own opinions and gotten a lot more bitchy.... but also ive stayed the same in a few ways!! i still love art and music, and have obsessions really deeply

asgard: if you could move anywhere, where would you pick?

anywhere w my friends!!!

brooklyn: where do you feel most at home?

outside late at night chatting w friends tbh?? it just feels right

wakanda: what is your hometown known for?

peaches!!

thank u @prcngx for tagging me!!! ily!! but you tagged a bunch of mutuals so i dont rlly have anyone to tag!!!! you monster!! ily!!

#chitchat

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efffeverything · 3 years

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new years resolutions

im a month late and its been a while but i am here for some r e f l e c t i o n s. im putting off doing uworld for this but maybe once i get some thoughts out ill be set to be productive ha h a h a.

to start off, im much happier. i cant believe that moving home helped me so much, and i never feel lonely anymore. even though its not like i want to talk to my dad all that much and jenny being here was just kind of lucky rather than expected, my life has been so much easier. also dad really takes care of me and im taking full advantage of it lol but i kind of see it as him wanting to do it lmao. the depression bit has also been much better with the whole me taking antidepressants and also being home and having a much better setup and having video games to play and people to play it with and as much as i dont want to admit that these stupid memers i play with are really part of my life, it really does help (maybe too much lol). i dont think i could get off the antidepressants but i definitely feel back to my baseline.

which leads me to some shitty realization. my baseline is not that great. ive always heard about imposter syndrome but i never really knew the definition until jenny told me like last week lmao. i honestly already dont remember it but it was something like “downplaying your achievements, thinking your successes are flukes” or something like that. when i told her i was pretty close to maybe getting this boston research thing she was like “wow you have such imposter syndrome”. i didnt even realize it until she said so. in retrospect i had such bad imposter syndrome in high school even though i was actually a really really good student. even now i constantly focus on my failures and let them define me as a person. i try to hide it which im pretty sure ive been successful in doing (although how would anyone really know unless i just said it lol) but anyways thats not even the resolution im thinking of.

my real resolution is to just think more about what makes me happy and stick to it and let those things define+shape me into the person i want to be. i look at medical school and the medicine world as a whole and i think “wow, some of these specialties are so competitive and people who are in it are already badasses”. like optho, ortho, derm, etc. these specialties are competitive and i feel like anyone that goes into them are seen as such smart and successful people. which is great and all but why am i letting that dictate what i want to do? i feel like neuro is seen as a shitty specialty and people never want to do it and it gets looked down upon, but its really the only thing so far that ive actually wanted to do. the content makes me happy so why should i care about what other people think? ive never even been a super go-getter type A kind of personality anyways. im just kind of chilled out but also like really sarcastic and ready to talk-back and also just stop talking to people lol. i gotta stop pretending like i care because i really really dont.

also i really do care about lifestyle. i feel like i can make contributions to the world (that i want to make) and still balance my personal life. i dont know what it is but surgery residency seems so shitty for what you’re getting. greys anatomy really did put that rose-colored lenses or whatever to surgery (but in retrospect they never did anything but be in the hospital and irl your coworkers are never going to all be that cool so maybe its not so rose-colored lmao). well i guess to me it seems really unfulfilling even though people see it as badass. just my personal opinion i suppose.

i kind of lost my train of thought so to reiterate and then finally leave. i just wanna be happy. and to do that i just need to stick with what makes me happy. and stop thinking about things that would make me seem happy/cool/successful. because i already hate people anyways so why am i dragging myself into this contradictory mindset.

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jooheonies · 6 years

Note

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

#shwhyuk #ask game #HHHHH THIS IS SO LONG....#I LOVE U...BABEY...

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