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#iwa angst
zmbiesuga · 4 months
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I'M NOT A VIOLENT DOG, I DON'T KNOW WHY I BITE.
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pairing: i. hajime x gn!reader
includes: hurt/no comfort, iwa gets into a fight, blood mention, cursing, iwa and reader are friends, reader refuses to be with iwaizumi due to emotional constipation, pre-timeskip, w.c 3.0k
notes: "always an angel never a god", "i don't know why i am the way i am ; not strong enough to be your man", "i can't love you how you want me too", yeah. i'm having a fucking field day.
soundtrack: not strong enough, bite the hand
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It's nearly midnight when you hear the soft raps against your front door. You cautiously open it to find a disheveled Hajime, bruised and battered with red blood trickling down his nose.
"...The other guy looks worse..." he mumbles, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck, "...I didn't know where else to go, (y/n) I'm sorry. I had a fight with my dad and Oikawa is asleep for once — "
"Haji, just..." you say, holding up your hand with a sigh, moving to the side, "...just get inside, it's cold."
He's the last face you wanna see and the last person you want to offer a semblance of comfort for right now, but even though you haven't talked in weeks, he's still your friend.
"What was it this time?" you whisper, leading him in the bathroom. He sits on the edge of the tub and watches you rummage through the cabinet to find a first aid kit.
He can't help the way his eyes trail over your body, he wants to hold you. That was his first thought, he wants to hold you, feel you pressed against him while he sobs and apologizes for every little thing he's ever done wrong by you.
But he won't.
"Some guy, said somethin' stupid to me," he mumbled, looking down at his lap where his fists lay clenched in anger, "I don't...it's not right, I know, I know it isn't (y/n). I can't help it, I get so worked up over everything and then..."
He stops mid-sentence, breathing hitching as he raises his head to look at you. His gaze is pleading, begging you to understand a part of him that he won't even show you.
You offer him a sympathetic look for a split second before your eyebrows furrow, pressing the tissue against his nose and tilting his head up higher with your other hand on his chin.
"You can help it, Haji," you muttered, pulling back to look at him, your gaze almost pitying and it makes him sick to his stomach, "I know you can. You know what your problem is? You never know what you're feeling because all your emotions stack on top of each other like a jenga tower waiting to fall."
His own brows knit together, his own expression slowly turning to frustration, "You don't know shit about how I feel," he growls, "you don't know anything."
"You're right, I don't," you quip back, hand gripping his chin tighter, "how should I? You want me to love you, but you won't show every part of yourself. You're scared and you don't trust me enough to love you past all of it."
His gaze softens once more, pulling your hand away with a gentle tug and looking down at the bathroom floor in shame.
"I know you're scared, Haji," you whispered again, voice cracking with emotion as your eyes glazed over with tears, "I can't expect you not to be, but...you don't trust me. I get it, okay? It's hard to open up right away and that's not what I expect. I just want you to find a way to sort through it yourself."
How could he open up? Hajime Iwaizumi, the hothead, Oikawa Tooru's best friend. A side character to everything who's only there for the development of the main guy. It doesn't matter how he feels, it's a burden. It's who he is, what defines him. He loses that and he loses everything...except you, but he's not sure how much he wants to trade in his reputation for you yet.
And here you are, waiting for a man who doesn't know if he wants to change. Waiting for someone who you know is so much more than anger, than the side character. Waiting and waiting for when he sees that himself, but to no avail.
When he slowly lifts his head up to meet your gaze, you expect an apology. You expect a change in heart from him, a promise to figure out how to sort through it all. You can see his own eyes are watery, ironic the way he wouldn't let you see him cry. You expect everything except what he actually confesses.
"I'm moving to California."
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hajiberry · 2 years
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“Hello?”, his groggy voice filled your empty room from the phone speaker, closing your eyes you sighed.
“Hey, it’s uh it’s me”, it was quiet for a second, and you were scared he hung up.
“I know”, there was another beat of silence before he asked, “is everything okay?”
“yeah I mean no but yeah I just”, you cut yourself off, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks.
“You just?”, his voice was barely above a whisper.
“I just miss you”, staring at your wall, you let a couple of tears fall before wiping at your face.
“Y/n”, he started, before you cut him off.
“I know, I know we said we wouldn’t do this but I can’t do shit without you”, he sighed, and you could practically see him dragging a hand down his face.
“Why don’t you get some sleep and then if you’re still feeling like this tomorrow call me and we can talk”, you wanted to sob at his words, he’d always been good at letting you down easy.
“Okay”, you mumbled, biting down on your lip to keep from embarrassing yourself even more.
“Okay”, you both sat on the phone for a second before you heard him begin to tell you goodnight.
“I still love you, you know”, you blurted out, another sigh escaped through the phone.
“I know”
IWAIZUMI, daichi, osamu, SUGA, kita, sakusa
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torhues · 1 year
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iwaizumi hajime.
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iwaizumi exhales in the palms of his hands. "how long?"
"a month or so, maybe," you look ever so calm, watching people enter and leave the airport, fiddling with your fingers occasionally out of habit. while your actions might look like some sort of obsession with observing people, they're actually subtle attempts to avoid looking at iwaizumi.
"was it hard?" he doesn't sound angry, or disappointed, or sad. it's not pure numbness, but his words aren't intoxicated with emotions either. "thinking about breaking up?"
"i tried not to overthink," you reply, still looking at the people, their luggage, noticing everything that the attendants are doing at the check-in counters. it's hard to keep up with everyone's actions in the multitude.
you've always associated airports with bits of romance. you've seen people break up on airports and kiss their lovers goodbyes until the last boarding calls. airports, according to you, are no different than hospitals. people visit both the places, but you don't know if they're coming back. although, not everyone thinks of airports as a place so gloomy that it stirs your stomach, but you've taught yourself to think that way in the past few months.
you've played it in your head multiple times, how you would break up with iwaizumi. you settled upon doing it last week, but never got a chance. days passed, you felt your chances slipping through the cracks of your hands and suddenly, the words fall off your lips amidst hundred other people waiting for the boarding announcement on the airport.
"hajime, you're not dying and neither am i. you're pursuing your dreams and if the situation calls for us to break up, i'm no one to refuse," while it seems like you're offering him some comfort to cope with the situation, those words are for yourself. you want to believe that he will come back to you, or you will find him again, even if it's after years, after the sweet memories that you share disappear over time; even if it's just one minute before you die, you want to believe you will meet him. after all, those will be the words that will convince you to look forward to every single day that is now going to pass without a glimpse of him.
"you know we don't have to do this," iwaizumi says it as a matter of fact. there's a stern look in his eyes, as if he has known you long enough to know the words that you mean and the ones you don't. sometimes, you think if you've given too much of yourself to him that now, he resembles a faint image of yourself in the mirror. it's like a single soul living in two different bodies, perhaps that's why, it feels like you're losing little pieces of yourself as you watched him prepare to leave for the States.
and so, you mirror the exact same look at him. "we do,"
"what if i fall in love with someone else? what if i come back with a family, a kid?" there's a hint of sorrow behind his hurtful words. thinking about iwaizumi next to someone else is painful, it's like taking a knife to your heart, but at the same time you know he doesn't mean his words.
just like iwaizumi, you've also known him long enough to know the words he means and the ones that he doesn't.
"i don't know, perhaps i'll congratulate you?" you manage to reply with a bitter laugh. "and also hate you for not inviting me to your marriage,"
you honestly don't know how you'd feel about iwaizumi starting a family with someone else. of course, you'd be happy for him, but will also carry a heart that aches at the site of him standing next to his other love, someone that's not you; and of course, you would still love him, even if you lose the rights to call him yours.
even though you're holding onto the words that you both will meet again, this could be the last time you see him. you know it already, you both have different lives, separate goals, and loving was never about staying next to each other even if it means giving up on what you've always wanted to do in life. it's surprising how you've both lived as strangers until you met each other and suddenly, your life without him seems impossible.
"will you be happy without me?" he asks.
"i'll try," you reply.
he nods, checking his watch before standing up and fixing his shirt. his eyes settle upon his backpack before travelling back to yours. "we still have twenty minutes, in case you want to change your decision,"
"i've decided,"
"okay," he breathes out, shooting you a smile while trying to choke in the tears that are starting to fall down his cheeks. "don't forget me," he adds a reminder, as if you're ever going to do that.
you met iwaizumi in middle school as a classmate, almost a stranger, someone you never properly talked to until he became the only student you knew beforehand in your class when highschool commenced. now, he is singlehandedly the most important person in your life. he's someone who loves you to moon and beyond, someone you've hurt many times but also is someone whose arms are like a second home to you.
you don't think anyone could compare to him, or the effect he has on you. no one can replace the moments you share with him, it's not like there's another person in the world who could make you feel the same way he did. you won't forget him because it's not like there's someone out there who can shadow his presence in your life.
like, there's not another iwaizumi hajime in this world because there's only one of him, and you're beyond lucky to share a few chapters of your life with a man who makes you feel like the happiest person alive.
with the boarding announcement going off, iwaizumi takes a last look at you. his eyes look the brightest they've ever been, overflowing with love so as to remind you that he loves you, and will continue to do so for years to come, that the distance that keeps on increasing between the two of you as he walks away doesn't mean anything because he'll always be there for you no matter what.
that you were the first for him and he is sure that you're also his last, and that you don't have to worry about him falling for someone else because even though he's going to a far away place, he's leaving his heart with you.
"hajime," you call, rushing to the line waiting in to pass through the metal detector. "i don't care if you come back with a wife, kid, or kids, or if you even come back. all i know is that i'm rooting for you, and i will continue to do so, and if you ever decide to come back, i'll be right here,"
you cup his face and plant a last kiss on his lips. "let's try to be happy without each other,"
and now, iwaizumi is twenty-seven, standing in front of flower wreaths at Narita International Airport with a white carnations, filtering through the small crowd that clutters the memorial of people who had passed away in an accident, fallen victims to the flight that went up in flames just a few minutes after it's take off.
iwaizumi spots your picture on the granite along with several others, placing the flowers amidst several others. a single tear rolls down his cheeks, "i'm a little late, aren't i, love?"
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minarixx · 9 months
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𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 ✯ 𝐇.𝐈𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢
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"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙜𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚"
PAIRING. Iwaizumi Hajime x f!Reader
CONTENT. Angst, unrequited love, mental health mentions
Y/N and Iwaizumi, whose budding romance is hindered by Y/N's mental health struggles. Despite Iwaizumi's patience and willingness, Y/N leaves the country to spare him pain. Years later, a chance encounter under falling snowflakes reunites them.
WC. 3.2k
A/N. Oneshot inspired by me and this guy. From the jigglypuff plush to the lego bouquet, this whole story is inspired by what happened to me except for the ending. He was the only guy I've ever experience pure love with, too bad I was fucked in the head. He's still one of my friends to this day I guess but not so much. Hope you enjoy.
Masterlink - Songs Unwritten
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In the heart of a vibrant summer, Y/N and Iwaizumi were inseparable friends, finding comfort and laughter in each other's company. Their bond was unique, deeper than mere friendship, and though they hadn't vocalised their feelings, it was evident to those around them that they shared something special.
One scorching day, they visited the bustling amusement park. The air was filled with the scent of cotton candy and popcorn, and the sounds of laughter and exhilarating rides echoed through the air. Y/N's eyes sparkled with excitement as they roamed the park together, trying every ride, indulging in treats, and making unforgettable memories.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, Iwaizumi surprised Y/N with a cute Jigglypuff plushie from one of the game stalls. "For you," he said with a bashful smile. "So you always remember this day."
Y/N hugged the plushie tight and thanked him, a blush creeping up her cheeks. It was a moment of silent acknowledgment of their feelings, a connection that words didn't need to express.
As summer days turned to warm autumn hues, the bond between Y/N and Iwaizumi only grew stronger. They shared laughter and tears, supporting each other through thick and thin.
The autumn leaves fell down on Y/N and Iwaizumi as they sat under the shade of a large tree in the park, enjoying the view of the colourful leaves around them. 
"Can you believe it's only 2 months until Christmas?" Iwaizumi remarked with a playful grin.
Y/N laughed, shaking her head. "It's still so far away, but I can't wait! I love everything about Christmas—the decorations, the music, and especially the presents!"
"I knew you'd say that," Iwaizumi teased, nudging her playfully. "So, what do you want for Christmas this year?"
She thought for a moment, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Hmm, I think I want a Lego bouquet. Wouldn't that be cool?!"
Iwaizumi chuckled, charmed by her idea. "That's unique, Y/N. I'll see what I can do."
“You're lying Iwa,” She giggles, “You're not even going to remember.”
September turned into November and then December approached. The days grew shorter as the holiday season approached. Y/N and Iwaizumi continued to share their excitement for Christmas, but she had completely forgotten about her playful wish for a Lego bouquet.
On Christmas morning, they exchanged gifts in Iwaizumi's cozy living room, surrounded by twinkling lights and the warmth of the season. Y/N eagerly tore open her presents, unwrapping each one with delight.
As she reached the last gift, her eyes widened in surprise. It was a beautifully wrapped box with a tag that read, "To Y/N, from Iwaizumi."
Curiosity piqued, she carefully removed the wrapping paper, revealing a Lego bouquet—the one she had playfully mentioned months ago in the heat of autumn.
Y/N gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. "Iwaizumi, you remembered!"
He smiled, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Of course, I did. I wanted to give you something special, something that reminded me of the bond we share."
Carefully holding the Lego box in her hands, Y/N felt a rush of emotions. It wasn't just about the gift itself; it was the fact that Iwaizumi had listened, remembered, and put so much thought into it. It was a testament to the depth of their friendship and the love he held for her.
With a heartfelt smile, she looked up at Iwaizumi. "Thank you. This is the best Christmas gift I could have asked for."
He leaned in to give her a gentle hug, the warmth of their friendship enveloping them. "Merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Merry Christmas, Iwaizumi," she replied, cherishing the Lego bouquet in her hands and the memory of an autumn day when she had casually mentioned her wish. 
Y/N and Iwaizumi's friendship was a beacon of pure, unwavering love. From the moment they had met, they had shared an instant connection that went beyond words. They were kindred spirits, two souls that seemed destined to find each other in the vastness of the world.
As they grew older, the bond between them only strengthened. They were each other's confidants, sharing their dreams, fears, and hopes without judgement. Their love was pure and unconditional, free from any romantic expectations. Yet, it was unmistakable that they were both so in love with each other, even if they never uttered those words aloud.
Iwaizumi would go to great lengths to see Y/N smile. He knew her favourite ice cream flavour, the songs that made her dance, and the movies that made her laugh until her stomach hurt. He knew when she was lying, when she was nervous or when she was scared. He would surprise her with small gestures of kindness, like leaving a heartfelt note on her desk or baking her favourite cookies when she was feeling down.
Y/N, too, would do anything for Iwaizumi. She was his fiercest advocate, his number one supporter, and his sounding board for any challenge he faced. She knew his dreams and aspirations, and she would encourage him to chase them relentlessly.
The love between them was like an unspoken melody, ever-present in their hearts, but never explicitly acknowledged. But despite their unspoken feelings, they found comfort in the knowledge that their connection was strong enough to withstand anything.
Iwaizumi's willingness to do anything for Y/N knew no bounds. He would drop everything to be by her side during her darkest moments, holding her hand and whispering words of encouragement until the storm passed. He cherished her laughter, her smile, and the way her eyes sparkled with joy. He would defend her fiercely from anyone who sought to harm her, and he would lend her his strength when she felt weak.
Y/N, too, was always there for Iwaizumi. She celebrated his victories and comforted him during his defeats. She understood the weight he carried on his shoulders, and she offered him a safe haven where he could be vulnerable and free from judgement. Their love was like a lighthouse in the stormy sea of life, guiding each other safely to shore.
In their hearts, they knew that their friendship was something extraordinary, something that came once in a lifetime. And while they may have yearned for something more, they were content to savour the sweetness of their pure love and the magic of their unbreakable bond.
And so, they continued to walk through life hand in hand, knowing that no matter where their paths led, their love would endure. Their friendship was a testament to the power of love in its purest form—the love that needed no labels or definitions, the love that simply was.
One evening, they sat on the swings at their favourite park, the air turning chillier with each passing day. Y/N absentmindedly swung back and forth, her thoughts burdened by her struggles.
Iwaizumi noticed the change in her demeanour. "You've been distant lately, Y/N. Is everything alright?"
She hesitated before answering, her voice slightly shaky. "Iwaizumi, I... I've been going through a tough time. My mental health hasn't been great, and I've been having these dark thoughts."
Concern etched across Iwaizumi's face as he gently grasped her hands. "Y/N, I'm here for you. You don't have to face this alone. Let me help."
Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked into his caring gaze. "I’m so tired of feeling sad all the time. I don't want to hurt you, Iwaizumi. I care about you deeply, and I don't want to drag you into my problems."
He wiped away a tear with his thumb, his voice soft but determined. "Y/N, you don't have to worry about that. I care about you too, and I want to be here for you, no matter what. We'll face this together."
"But I don't want you to," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know how long it'll take for me to get better, and I can't bear the thought of holding you back."
Iwaizumi gently cupped her face, making her meet his gaze. "Y/N, you're not holding me back. We'll take this one step at a time, and I'll be patient. Just promise me you won't shut me out. Let me be the support you need."
Y/N's heart ached at his unwavering love and support. She leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hands against her skin. "I promise," she whispered, tears cascading down her cheeks.
In the following weeks, Iwaizumi stood by Y/N's side, offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a heart full of compassion. The weight of her struggles was still present, but knowing she had Iwaizumi by her side made it bearable. Their friendship blossomed into something deeper, and Y/N found herself falling for him even more.
One evening, as they strolled through the winter wonderland of twinkling lights and festive decorations, Y/N mustered the courage to express her feelings. "Iwaizumi, I... I love you," she said, her breath visible in the cold air.
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening in surprise. Then, a tender smile graced his lips. "I love you too, Y/N. And I meant what I said before. We'll take this journey together, no matter how long it takes."
For a moment, hope flickered in Y/N's heart, but the weight of her mental struggles still lingered. She couldn't help but wonder if she was being selfish, wanting Iwaizumi to wait for her. The fear of being a burden weighed heavily on her mind.
As the days passed, Y/N found herself withdrawing into her own thoughts, contemplating what would be best for Iwaizumi and her own happiness. The joy of the season and the love she felt for him were overshadowed by her doubts and insecurities.
Finally, on the eve of her departure abroad, she mustered the courage to meet Iwaizumi one last time. Snowflakes danced around them, softening the edges of the world as they stood together in the park.
"Y/N," Iwaizumi said, concern evident in his voice. "Why are you leaving? Is it because of us?"
Tears glistened in her eyes as she shook her head. "No, Iwaizumi. I'm leaving because I don't want to hold you back. I want you to be happy, and I can't bear to see you wait for someone who might never be completely whole."
He reached out to touch her cheek, his eyes full of sorrow. "Y/N, you are worth waiting for. You're worth everything to me. I don't want a life without you in it."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. "But I can't do this to you. I love you too much to see you unhappy."
With a heavy heart, Y/N turned and walked away, leaving Iwaizumi standing there, heartbroken and confused.
Years passed, and Y/N returned home, her heart heavy with regret and longing. She couldn't help but wonder what could have been if she had stayed and allowed herself to be loved by Iwaizumi. 
The winter wind howled as Y/N stood alone on an ice-covered bench in the park, her breath visible in the frosty air. She had returned home after spending years abroad, hoping to find some closure and perhaps a glimpse of the life she had left behind. The memories flooded her mind as she looked around, and a hint of sadness lingered in her eyes.
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps approached, and her heart skipped a beat. She turned, and there he was—her old friend, Iwaizumi. His once unruly hair was now neatly trimmed, and he had grown into a man with an aura of quiet strength. Time had been kind to him, but it also served as a reminder of the years they had spent apart.
Their eyes met, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. There were so many things they wanted to say, but the weight of unspoken emotions kept them silent.
"Y/N," Iwaizumi finally broke the silence, his voice tinged with a mix of surprise and warmth. "Is it really you?"
She managed a small smile, the emotions threatening to spill over. "Yes, Iwaizumi. It's me."
He stepped closer, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. "Why did you leave, Y/N. We were best friends, and then one day, you were just gone."
Y/N looked down at her hands, the guilt resurfacing. "I thought it was for the best, Iwaizumi. I didn't want to hurt you, and I thought it was the right thing to do."
He gently lifted her chin, making her meet his gaze. "You didn't have to leave like that. We could have faced everything together, just like we promised."
"I know," she whispered, a tear escaping her eye. "But I was scared, Iwaizumi. I didn't want to hold you back. My mental health was in shambles, and I felt like I couldn't be the person you deserved."
His expression softened, understanding shining in his eyes. "You never had to be perfect for me, Y/N. I loved you.”
The past tense echoed in her mind, hitting her like a wave of melancholy. The love she had always sensed, the connection that had bound them together, had been real, but now it felt like a distant memory, a love that had slipped through her fingers.
Her heart ached as she searched his eyes for any glimmer of hope, hoping against hope that she had misheard him or misunderstood his words. But the truth lay bare in his gaze—he had loved her, and perhaps he still did, but the timing had never aligned for them.
Iwaizumi's hold on Y/N tightened for a moment before he gently released her. He looked into her eyes, his expression a mix of coldness and sadness. 
Iwaizumi took a deep breath, his heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. "Y/N, I'm married now," he stated simply, trying to keep his emotions in check.
Her eyes filled with sadness, and she nodded, accepting the reality of the situation. "I see. Congratulations," she managed to say, a forced smile on her lips.
The silence between them was deafening, and Y/N struggled to find the right words. She wanted to tell him how much she regretted leaving, how she longed to be with him, but the guilt of her past actions held her back.
"Iwaizumi, I'm sorry for everything," Y/N finally whispered, her voice barely audible over the gentle falling snow.
He looked at her, the hurt evident in his eyes. "You left after everything, Y/N. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?"
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she tried to find the right way to explain. "I was going through a dark time, and I didn't want to drag you into my struggles. I thought leaving was the best way to protect you."
"I loved you, Y/N," Iwaizumi's voice wavered. "I loved you, and you just left without a word. It felt like you didn't care at all."
"I did care," she choked out, the pain of her actions finally hitting her. "I cared so much, and that's why I left. I thought I was doing what was best for you."
Iwaizumi's jaw tightened, trying to hold back his feelings. He took a step back, needing to distance himself from the woman who still held a special place in his heart. "I hope you find happiness, Y/N. Just like I did."
Y/N's heart broke at the finality of his words, knowing that she had hurt him deeply. She wanted to reach out to him, to hold him close, but she knew it wouldn't change the past.
"Iwaizumi, I'm sorry," she repeated, her voice trembling. "I hope you have a wonderful life."
Without another word, Iwaizumi turned and walked away, leaving Y/N standing alone. She watched him disappear into the distance, her heart heavy with regret.
Y/N felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. It was as if time had slowed, and every step he took away from her felt like an eternity. She wanted to call out to him, to beg him to stay, to tell him that she still loves him, but the words caught in her throat. Fear and doubt held her captive, and the overwhelming pain of losing the one real thing she ever knew paralyzed her.
She clutched her heart, hoping to somehow keep it from breaking completely, but there was no relief from the ache inside. The realisation that she had let him go, that she had lost him, was like a knife twisting in her chest.
The world around her blurred as tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. And so, she watched him fade into the distance, a part of her soul leaving with him. It was a pain she had never known before, a void that nothing else could fill. The realisation that she had lost the one real thing she ever knew was like a dark cloud looming over her, suffocating her with regret and longing.
She knew that from that moment on, life would never be the same. She had let the love of her life slip away, and she could only hope that she would find happiness, even if it meant it wouldn't be with him.
As the first snowflakes settled on the ground, Y/N felt a mix of emotions overwhelm her. The last glimpse of him disappeared from sight, she finally allowed the tears to fall, a torrent of emotions pouring out of her. She had found him, but their reunion had only brought pain and longing. The snowfall intensified, creating a soft, white blanket over the park bench where they had once sat together in happier times.
Y/N whispered to the winter breeze, knowing he couldn't hear her, "I'm sorry for hurting you, Iwaizumi. I'll always cherish the memories we shared, even if they were fleeting."
With a heavy heart, she turned away, her steps faltering as she left the park behind. The weight of their unspoken love bore down on her, and with each step she took, it felt as though she was leaving a part of herself behind.
The first snow of winter continued to fall, its delicate flakes creating a serene and ethereal atmosphere around her. As she walked, each snowflake seemed to mirror the tears that silently escaped her eyes.
She couldn't help but look back one last time, hoping for a fleeting glimpse of Iwaizumi, but he was nowhere to be seen. Her heart ached at the thought of him walking away, just like she did all those years ago.
In that moment, she realised that the love they had shared would remain a silent melody in their hearts. A love that would never be openly acknowledged, but one that would forever be etched in the deepest corners of their souls.
With a final tearful glance at the park bench where they had once laughed and dreamed together, she turned her gaze forward and continued on her path. The first snow of winter gently blanketed the world around her, leaving her with a bittersweet sense of closure.
As she walked away from the park, she knew that she would always carry a piece of Iwaizumi with her. He had been her anchor, her source of strength, and her first love. And even though their paths had diverged, the memories they shared would forever hold a special place in her heart.
©Minarixx 2023 - please don't copy, repost or translate without my knowledge credit or permission.
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lyssasdrafts · 2 years
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— online love
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cali! iwaizumi x reader
long distance relationship, bittersweet ending, gn! reader
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“you only pass through my city every one in a million seconds in a broken clock.”
long distance with iwaizumi isn’t always easy. staying up until 3am taking to him, sharing every single detail from your day. him getting concerned whenever it takes a while for you to respond. calling you unexpectedly with just “because i missed you…” as an explanation.
“yet we talk like we're living, only miles, only minutes from another just around the block.”
you want to know about what his life there is like, he sends you pictures and tells you about his days. he tells you about learning a new language and what his college classes are like. in turn, you tell him about how that restaurant you used to go shut down recently and how all his old friends are doing; you keep him in touch. he tells you about his friends there and sends the videos he took with them. you smile to yourself a little whenever you see his stories and posts.
“i like california,” he tells you, voice lagging over the phone, “but i miss you more.”
“as i stare at my screen, shining blue and green, all alone in a coffee shop.”
he’s always thinking about you — all the places in california he wants to show you. he wants you to understand why he feels so homesick at times so that maybe you’ll understand his experience more, wants to show you how he met all his friends here and that they can’t compare to you.
you don’t mind the long distance, is what you keep telling yourself. you don’t mind only being able to text or call your boyfriend. you don’t mind not being able to go out on dates. laughing and shying away when your friends tease you about when they’ll get to meet your boyfriend. you miss him, you really do. you’d wished you would’ve had more time with him before he moved.
“i can’t help but imagine what maybe could've happened if you weren’t just an online love.”
he wishes you were here with him, so that maybe it would’ve been less lonely during all those nights he’d stayed up, staring at the sunrise through his broken dorm window and feeling jet lagged.
but your relationship just couldn’t handle the distance — getting into miscommunications and fights resulting in refusing to contact each other. being in two different places and points in your lives where it felt like you couldn’t fit the other into. eventually, you both decide that it’s better to stay friends. maybe things would’ve been different if you were more understanding and if he had been there, but alas, he can only wish you the best.
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monstrsball · 7 months
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it's thinking about iwaoisuga long distance and being kinda sad hours. they are playing on hard mode!! imagining them trying to navigate the timezones, it's such a headache but also worth it. they're staying up way too late or waking up earlier than they really need to, squeezing calls in between classes, etc...
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emrysaf · 1 year
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Pen Pals..
Not me thinking about middle school/high school pen pals with Mattsun and an American. They are super into all kinds of cultures. Like anthropology-like.
Want to meet after high school but can’t. Mattsun says Iwa will be in America for college. Oc/reader is like, “I would but I’m poor.”
Finally able to make the trip in the guise of Iwa will be a big help for a final project for their Anthropology/Japanese Language double major.
Iwa calls Mattsun to double check what’s going on with this strange American pen pal. Mattsun seems short and grumpy. Says he’s just tired after being up all night with oc/reader.
Iwa takes this… wrong. On top of all other small negatives he’s ever heard (disregarding that the positives FAR outweigh the negatives in Mattsuns feelings toward oc/reader)
Talks to another friend while waiting on OC/reader.. expecting a culturally appropriating weeaboo type. Not boring ole oc/reader. Goes on about how tired Mattsun is of oc/reader and all kinds of stressed-college-kid-unloading-without-thinking stuff.
Oc/reader leaves and slowly but surely pulls away from Mattsun. But they can’t waste a whole college career of Japanese study.
**Time Skip**
Oc/reader offered an anthropologist position in Japan. First assignment? Funeral differences throughout the prefectures. Big, small, traditional etc..
Stumbles upon a certain funeral home/mortuary with none other than Mattsun…
It’s been years. What will happen now?
….
Totally not thinking of that.
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ao3feed-dadzawa · 3 months
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slicesofapple · 1 year
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Warning: MCD, death, sickfic, angst, hurt no comfort
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It took Tobio a year after Tooru died to visit his grave.
Shoyou drove him and was uncharacteristically (and empathetically) silent on the way home, Tobio scowling angrily out the window the whole way.
Another year passed before Tobio finally had the guts to listen to the recording, the one Iwaizumi had sent him after the funeral.
It was from that day: the day Tobio was returning from his away match. The last day Tooru was conscious.
Tobio had only gone on that trip because Tooru had been doing better and had insisted he go - had practically thrown him out.
With a trembling hand, Tobio hit the play button.
Tooru’s voice came through loud and clear, sounding almost like he used to, just a little breathless.
Ya-hoo, Tobio-chan! Iwa-chan’s making me record this. I don’t know why. You’ll be here tonight and I can talk to you in person.
There was a pause, followed by Tooru whining, I don’t have anything to say!
Crappykawa! Iwaizumi’s voice warned.
Fine, said Tooru’s voice. Tobio could picture the exact expression he must have had on his face when he said it. Jenna with the red hair is working today. Are you jealous? You needn’t be. The nurses don’t flirt back anymore. I’m too pathetic. Cancer finally kicked my ass, huh? 
There was a cough, and then another, followed by several panting breaths before Tooru started back up again, speaking more slowly as he continued to ramble on. And the food here is as shitty as ever. Well, the stuff Iwa-chan’s eating from the vending machine. They’re not letting me have anything. Not a good sign, right, Tobio-chan?”
There was a shuffling noise, then Iwaizumi’s voice broke in, I’ll be right back. Keep talking to Tobio while I’m gone, okay, Tooru?
Another shuffling sound, and then a gasp, as if Tooru was being hugged a little too hard, the air being squeezed out of him.
Tobio could hear a door sliding shut.
There was a brief silence.
Tooru’s voice was much quieter when he said, I love you, Tobio.
And then, I wish you were here.
And, finally, in a whisper, I’m scared.
There was a soft click as the recording ended, leaving Tobio alone once more, his face bathed in tears.
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pridewon · 2 years
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@deepsets​​ said:   ❛ did you miss me? ❜ IWAOI IWAOI IWA
It’s a quiet night in Irvine, California. A warm summer breeze carries the song of late birds towards the sea, towards the beaches where carefree students enjoy the cooler temperatures now that the sun has granted them mercy by giving way to the moon; Iwaizumi can hear them in the distance, some clamors and laughters, and were it another night, he may have joined them. Instead, Iwaizumi sits at his balcony, his laptop balanced on his propped up knee as he patiently waits for a video call. Green eyes drift to the time displayed on the computer’s clock - Oikawa’s plane had landed a few hours ago already. What the hell are they doing? 
Hajime bring his bottle of iced tea to his lips; when finally the ringtone buzzes on his laptop, and Hajime nearly chokes in surprise and has to bear with a coughing fit for a few seconds before he is in any state to accept the call. “Fuckin’ hell...” He mumble, fist thumping at his chest; before at last he presses ‘accept’, and Oikawa appears on the screen - all smiles and *Iwa-chaaaan* like they totally didn’t just travel 24h straight to get back to San Juan. “Well, somebody’s looking nice and refreshed.” He comments flatly, pretending to be vaguely upset about it. Maybe Tooru went straight to bed after getting home - after such a long journey, nothing would be more understandable... and honestly? Hajime hopes Tooru would remember to take care of themselves first and foremost. Hajime’s features soften every so slightly - their video calls can wait, if his partner is getting the rest they need as a trade-off.
Did you miss me? They have the nerve to ask; and Hajime scoffs, dramatically: “You’ve only been gone...” Just as dramatically (two can play this game - and they have been at it for many years), he looks at his watch and pretends to ponder. “... 32 hours.” Only. Oikawa’s sounds of indignant protests already make it through the speakers; and Hajime fails to repress the gleeful grin that stretches on his lips, the laugh that bubbles in his throat: messing with Tooru is too easy and too funny, sometimes. All the time, actually. “Of course I missed you, dumbass. Missed you since you passed security gates at the airport.” Teasing and taunting followed by a whack of blunt honesty with no transition time: that’s Iwaizumi Hajime’s brand of sentimentality. 
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And it works every damn time. Tooru’s face falters for a minute; before a string of ‘Iwa-chan, stop being mean!!’ and other pleasantries follows; and Hajime settles back in his balcony chair, a chuckle in his chest and a content air wrapping around him like a comforting blanket: it’s good to hear their voice again, even after just 32 hours. 
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osakunt · 2 years
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Y’all don’t understand how much I’ve suppressed the angst to a work with some songs .
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chemmerson · 2 years
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me getting a message from kat
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opening it and it’s a sad haikyuu headcanon
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@biderwoman how dare
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monstrsball · 1 year
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thinking about. the iwaoisuga fic idea in my drafts about oisuga getting together being how iwa realizes he has feelings for oikawa. ough.
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kodaiki · 2 years
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iwa angst being posted today😗😗
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