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#jack the ripper

so i’m writing a book about time travelling detectives who keep ruining the timeline (one notable example being one of them, after being flirted with by one alexander hamilton, telling one of their bosses having to play marriage therapist. bear in mind that the same one of them, early on in this mission, punches marquis de lafayette in the face because he puts his hand on her waist and she wasn’t really paying attention to who it was and then proceeds to hook up with angelica schuyler - you know, as you do in revolutionary america) and holy shit you have to do so much research about legitimately everything? like i now know so much about tudor murder techniques. i had to google what kind of razors were available in 1888 england because i want one of my other characters, who is both black and a prostitute (which, by the way, isn’t a good thing to be in 1888 whitechapel, because of our dear buddy jack the ripper and also people just being dicks to sex workers, poor people, black people, and women, of which this character is all four) to stab jack the ripper with a razor and then promptly take a nosedive into the thames. that’s a thing that’s in my search history now. i also know that lafayette was all around cool guy and alexander hamilton was actually a bit of a dick, especially in regards to slavery, so thanks for that, google. i am so tired, my legs are dead, legitimately what the fuck has my life become.

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Love rereading things I wrote months ago. Apparently I decided to put a Jack the Ripper metaphor in my essay about the study of Aegean Bronze Archaeology. It’s a quarter of a page long and absolutely not at all necessary. Feeling so pleased that past me thought it would be a fun activity for future me to try and justify that to my lecturer.

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(The Magic Knight captains gather around a broken coffee machine)

Yami: So, who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.


William: I did it. I broke it, Yami- 

Yami: No, you didn’t. Jack?

Jack: Don’t look at me. Look at Fuegoleon.

Fuegoleon: What? I didn’t break it.

Jack: Huh, that’s weird. Then how’d you even know it was broken?

Fuegoleon: Maybe because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Jack: …Suspicious.

Fuegoleon: No, it’s not!

Rill:  Not sure if it matters, probably not, but Charlotte was the last one to use it.

Charlotte: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Rill: Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Charlotte: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Rill!

William: Okay, okay, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Yami.

Yami: No. Who broke it?

*more silence

Jack: Yami… Nozel has been awfully quiet-

Nozel: (incredulous) Really?!

(The captains argue with each other on who broke the machine)

Yami: (walks out of the room) I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I think ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig’s head on a stick. (looks back and smirks) Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

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