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#jaehyun scenarios
markresonates · 19 hours ago
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[adult swim]
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summary: No one knows that you moonlight as a camgirl… or so you think
pairing: lifeguard!Jaehyun x fem!reader (featuring 127)
genre: porn with plot, angst, fluff if you squint
word count: 5.2k
for @ncteaxhoe and @immabiteyou's debauchery collab♡
warnings: rough unprotected sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, degradation, manhandling, on camera, lil spanking, oral (fem receiving), creampie, masturbation, sex toys, hard dom!Jaehyun, sub!reader
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Summer went by all too quickly.
The season has nearly dipped below the horizon as the dawn of autumn approaches. The dim shadow of shriveled up bronze, brown and crimson leaves, fresh harvests and carved pumpkins chase away the relaxing, sunny period of greater leisure time just days away.
Having passed the fourth stage of grief by now, you are well into your summer mourning period before it has officially been put to rest on the 21st. Of all the things you will miss about the season, your summer job as a lifeguard is at the top of the list. It isn’t so much the working part as it is the co-workers. Specifically, one co-worker.
You trail your finger down the employee shift schedules pinned to the corkboard in the staff locker room. Scrolling through the short list of scribbled names written in red sharpie, you quickly discover the person you who was supposed to be here this late afternoon.
“Where’s Jaehyun?” you ask.
Mark rubs a towel through his hair, staining the poor material in green and blue from his freshly dyed, dead hair. “He called in sick so Haechan is filling in for him this week.”
“Why? Am I not good enough for you?” Haechan gasps, raising his eyebrows to the full extent.
The humid air clouding the musty locker room prompts you to rub the back of your sweat slickened neck. You hope to God your question sounded nonchalant as you laugh along to the over the top reaction of the lifeguard unexpectedly sharing your shift. “No, I was just wondering because he was supposed to-”
“You told me I was your favorite shift buddy last week,” Haechan pouts, half jokingly.
“And you believed that?” Johnny chuckles, causing Mark to burst out in a fit of hysterical laughter. “Sounds fake to me.”
Haechan slams his locker shut and spins around to face the giggling mess with murderous eyes. “Until you make it up to me for fucking dropping my phone in the pool, you never get to make another fucking noise again.” He shifts his attention to his roommate towering over him. “And you! I could shave off your eyebrows in your sleep.”
Johnny ignores his empty threat and redirects the unwanted, sweltering spotlight back on you. “No, but really, why were you asking?”
“Seriously, I was just wondering,” you unconvincingly defend yourself. Forcing an airy toned superficial laugh, you impulsively rub your prickling neck again.
Johnny squints his eyes, momentarily studying you with skepticism. “Hmm… then why are you nervous?”
“I’m not nervous!” You busy yourself, filling an empty locker with your belongings laid out on one of the wide, honey oak benches between locker rows. There is no way on earth you can hide your deer in the headlights expression from the pro bono private investigator hunting for telltale signs of your dishonesty. “Why would you say I’m nervous?”
“Because you rub your neck when you’re nervous.” Johnny strokes his faint five o’clock shadow for effect before carrying on with his professional assessment. “And because of how you just responded. So what are you hiding, y/n?”
Your eyes flick to the noisy clock above the door, taking notice that the pool has been unsupervised for far too many ticks. “Hey, I’d love to stay and chat but since your shift ended, three kids could’ve drowned by now! So, see you later, Johnny! Bye Mark!” Swiping your whistle from the locker, you loop your arm under Haechan’s. You leave the coworkers freshly off the clock in the dust of the stuffy room, dragging the shortest of the bunch through three columns of lockers. It is only when you breach the outside pool perimeter and the poignant chlorine stench fills your nostrils that you feel at ease; woefully, just when you thought you got away with it and let your guard down, the ruse is up.
“You could’ve just said you liked him and saved yourself that painful awkwardness,” he points out very matter of factly.
Haechan flinches at your sudden arm movement, acting as if you're going to hurdle him into the deep end. “Explain something to me, in what world would admitting I like Jaehyun have not been awkward?”
“All I’m saying is that pretending you don’t know what we’re talking about only makes it awkward for you. You're not very good at keeping secrets, y/n.”
“You’d be surprised,” you snort. “I can keep secrets better than you think.”
You catch Haechan sarcastically rolling his eyes before lazily striding towards the opposite lifeguard post. “I bet I know whatever it is you think you can hide but whatever! Go on believing whatever you want, yn!”
You mount the white lifeguard chair overlooking the pool, recalling what you did last night. No one knows you moonlight as a camgirl and you prefer to keep it that way. This job as a lifeguard was barely enough to cover the bills and in order to avoid falling behind on your university student loan payments, you took up this secret occupation last year. It’s not like you’re ashamed of it, you just don’t want the other lifeguards to see you in a different light.
The body of water has seen very few kids this afternoon and your chances of having to dive into the pool are slim to none. Every annoying back to school sale ad that pops up in between youtube videos reminds you that most kids are already in school again. The average age of swimmers these days ranges between those no longer carded at bars and liquor stores and even more frequently, those who qualify for the early bird special. Visiting hours at the aquatics center have been limited due to the sparse pool attendance but based on how little you have seen of children, it might as well be adult swim.
Your eyes feel heavy. The dead activity in the pool doesn’t help your exhaustion from staying up later than usual. A handful of your most dedicated viewers tipped you generously late into the night and the longer your show lasted, the greater they tipped your hard working efforts. You don’t plan on carrying on the same lengthy routine tonight but you hope they don’t shy away from giving you the large tips like the night before.
The lifeguard shift drags on slowly and after an eternity of boring pool monitoring, work comes to a close. At 8:30 pm, Haechan walks you to your car in the dark, empty parking. “Have a fun night, y/n.”
“I doubt it’ll be fun exactly,” you scoff as your car door swings open. “I’m not really doing anything but thanks anyways.”
“Huh, well if you say so,” he smirks before bidding you adieu.
The tone of his statement makes you feel uneasy but you choose to ignore it.
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[ genius_bunny ] How was your day beautiful?
[ daddy1&only ] i bet it was fun
[ daddy1&only ] like really fun;)
“Uh, not really. I was really tired so I slept in, and then I had work this evening,” you tell your current patrons watching you, waiting for more of them to flood into the stream. You started filming a few minutes ago and typically stall the actual show until about 100 of them arrive. Until you reach that point, you carry on casual conversations with your regulars that show up on time. These just happen to be the big tippers that often ask prying questions which you answer with relatively vague responses.
[ stopcallingme-pocket-sized ] Sorry you’re tired:(
[ peaches_l0ver ] shig were you tired because we like made you stay up really later?
[ peaches_l0ver ] *shit
[ milkfukingsucks ] God get it together peaches wtf
“No, it’s okay! Don't feel bad! It was my decision to stay up late so it’s really not your fault you guys.” You get closer to the screen to check if you read the unusual username correctly. “Hey, I have a question. Why does milk suck?”
[ milkfukingsucks ] It’s kind of a long story
[ peaches_l0ver ] no it’s not
[ milkfukingsucks ] basically Milk fucks up a lot and even Milk is allergic to milk
[ daddy1&only ] yeah
[ genius_bunny ] you always back milkfukingsucks??
[ osakaprince ] milk isn’t that bad
[ hotpotato420 ] stop talking badly about milk:(
You giggle at the rapid responses that pop up to the initial comment. “Well anyways, welcome milkfuckingsucks.”
[ milkfukingsucks ] aww you’re so sweet
[ milkfukingsucks ] i’m sunny-ace normally
“Ohhh! Now I get it,” you nod a few times, before someone new arrives.
[ mr.dimples has tipped $200 / €170 / ₩236404 ]
[ mr.dimples ] hey I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night. I wasn’t feeling very well
[ mr.dimples ] I missed you, baby
Your eyes noticeably light up as your favorite patron joins the chat, the main reason you were stalling the show from the beginning. “Hi Dimples, I missed you last night too.”
[ peaches_l0ver ] hey can i ask one last question?
You sigh and give in. “Okay, one last question.”
[ peaches_l0ver ] what are your biggest turn ons? Or like ideal wet dream of yours
[ milkfukingsucks ] that’s two questions. can you even count?
“Hmm, good question.” Your face twists in concentration. Peering up at the ceiling, you sift through your naughtier thoughts. “I really like the thought of being dominated. I mean, like really dominated.”
[ mr.dimples ] what does really dominated mean?
Your brow furrows deeper as you second guess the particular wording that comes to mind when addressing your desires. “Lately, I’ve been imagining a guy coming up to me from behind when I’m busy doing something else, and then pushing me up against a wall or something like that. And then they’d rub until they feel I’m wet through my clothes.”
[ mr.dimples ] then what?
You ponder how they could interpret your description of the scenario that you picture. The scenario that you imagine every time you play with yourself and has been the only thing to make you come for weeks now. “Then ripping my clothes off and… tying my hands behind my back and…”
[ mr.dimples ] and?
“-and using degrading names… and kind of humiliating me in public? Or semi public-ish? And obviously fucking me really, really hard.”
[ peaches_l0ver ] fuck that’s so fucking hot
“But the thing is I want it to be someone I want in the first place, not a surprise or whatever? Like I want that from this one guy at my work who keeps calling in sick and-” You blink and shake your head, cursing yourself in your mind for letting a personal detail about your life slip out to these strangers.
[ daddy1&only ] hey can you repeat that?
[ milkfukingsucks ] what was that last part you said there?
[ mr.dimples ] yeah slut I wanna hear those words from your lips again
Pretending that you didn’t just mistakenly reveal a secret of yours you carry on with minor preparations. “Actually you guys, I think it’s time I get started. Don’t you want to see me naked already?” Readjusting the high definition camera clinging to the top of your desktop computer gives the eager patrons an ideal perspective to your half naked body. You undo the last button of your see-through blouse and fold it neatly on your desk to extend their tortuous wait time. Getting up from your cheap swivel chair and rolling it out of the frame, you turn around for them and tug your skimpy short shorts down your legs equally as slowly. You hear the chat ding, signaling one of them has tipped you and can’t help but check what the amount is.
[ daddy1&only has tipped $50 / €43 / ₩59101 ]
[ daddy1&only ] fuck you’re killing me here
[ 127fishsurgeon has tipped $100 / €85 / ₩118202 ]
[ 127fishsurgeon ] no take your time:)
You wink and return to your seductive show. Turning around again, you unclasp your black, lacy bra in the back and slip the straps of your shoulders. The only article of clothing remaining on your body is thin, mesh panties that match with the sexy bra you just discarded on the floor. You cup your breasts in your hands and spin around once more. Flicking and twisting your hardened nipples you feign an innocent tone and purr, “How much for me removing my panties?” You are satisfied that the simple question entices over four dozen tips that amount to a total of $400 / €341 / ₩472808.
Complying with their request, you bend over your tall queen bed and repeat the same action as your shorts. Your panties stick to your slick slit before falling to your feet. You kick the thin clothing off your feet. Looping your hands around behind your body, your fingers make contact with your wetness. You hold your folds open for them to see your exposed pussy for 10 seconds then trace your dominant hand’s fingers through your arousal while continuing to hold yourself open with the other hand. Dozens of dinging ring from your computer’s speakers but this time you don’t check them out, focusing on getting yourself off instead.
[ osakaprince has tipped $69 / €58 / ₩81559 ]
[ peaches_l0ver has tipped $50 / €43 / ₩59101 ]
[ genius+bunny has tipped $100 / €85 / ₩118202 ]
[ stopcallingme-pocket-sized has tipped $50 / €43 / ₩59101 ]
After fingering yourself like this for 3 minutes, you go to grab your bright pink vibrator from your desk, giving you the chance to check the messages and donations in the chat.
[ hotpotato420 ] How is it possible that you’re so hot
[ hotpotato420 has tipped $69 / €58 / ₩81559 ]
[ milkfukingsucks ] no one compares seriously
[ milkfukingsucks has tipped $100 / €85 / ₩118202 ]
You grab the viberant sex toy and hold it up for them to see. “I know I promised to get that new powerful toy that I showed you last week, you know the one that’s kind of rounded and vibrates and fucks me at the same time but someone else ordered the last one,” you pout. “I’ll try to find something else, sorry!”
[ mr.dimples has tipped $200 / €170 / ₩236404 ]
[ mr.dimples ] babe it’s okay
[ mr.dimples ] i bet you’ll get it eventually
The corners of your lips prick up at his comment. “Thanks for understanding you guys.” You climb on your bed, situating yourself in a spot where you're partially sitting up and partially leaning back against a handful of pillows. Spreading your legs wide, you take the bright pink vibrator and press it to your clit. You flick on the switch and immediately jolt forward from the powerful buzzing sensation.
[ osakaprince ] nothing hotter than you getting yourself off
[ daddy1&only ] i think about you fucking yourself every time I go to work
[ daddy1&only has tipped $100 / €85 / ₩118202 ]
[ milkfukingsucks ] me too.
[ milkfukingsucks ] every. single. time.
[ milfukingsucks has tipped $200 / €170 / ₩236404 ]
[ peaches_l0ver ] me three
Pleasured moans slip from your mouth as the tingling feeling overtakes your senses and the electrifying vibrations burn through your body. Their hungry eyes eat up the sight of your squirming body on the bed, pumping their own cocks in their hands as you climax after 10 minutes.
[ genius+bunny has tipped $50 / €43 / ₩59101 ]
[ 127fishsurgeon has tipped $75 / €64 / ₩88658 ]
[ genius+bunny has tipped $100 / €85 / ₩118202 ]
[ 127fishsurgeon has tipped $125 / €106 / ₩147763 ]
[ genius+bunny ] fish nurse are you doing that on purpose
[ 127fishsurgeon ] i have no idea what you're talking about dumb bunny
You breathe heavily, setting the vibrator down on a towel to your side before the next round. Your legs close slightly but not to the point where they can’t see your wetness dribbling from your clenched hole. You look at the camera, fluttering your eyelashes and biting your lip seductively. Leaning in to read some of the chatter praising your dirty performance, your favorite patron’s comment captures your interest and you don’t know whether it’s a turn on or worrisome.
[ mr.dimples ] god the things I would do to you if you were mine
[ mr.dimples ] you can’t even imagine baby
[ mr.dimples ] but maybe someday
[ mr.dimples has tipped $500 / €426 / ₩591010 ]
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A total of 3 people have visited the pool today, surprisingly low attendance considering the late afternoon has shifted into adult swim hours. There are upsides and downsides to this certain situation. The upsides: there is a high likelihood that you will not need to jump in the pool and you don’t need to pay as much attention to your job (but then again, it’s not like much attention is given to the pool on the days that your shifts coincide with Jaehyun's). It has been a week since you last saw him and strangely his smiles seem to be extra charming today.
“So how was your weekend, y/n?” he asks smoothly, staring up to where you are posted in the lifeguard tower. “Do anything fun?
The captivating look in his eyes sucks you and momentarily makes it difficult for you to spit words out. You swallow the urge to nervously stutter in response and calmly collect yourself as if his confident, alluring aura didn’t affect you in the slightest. “It was uneventful, but thank you for asking.”
He chuckles lightly. “Well what did you do? Or is it a secret?” Jaehyun pries.
You scoff and shake your head. “I don’t have any secrets, Jaehyun. It was just boring and that’s it.” You tear your eyes away from him to focus on the boring pool, purposefully not asking him about his own weekend to give off the impression that you don’t care much.
Guys like it when you play hard to get, right?
“So you’re really not going to ask me about my weekend?”
“Oh, sorry! I forgot about you,” you muse with a sweet smile. “How was your weekend, Jaehyun?”
He returns your sweet smile, coated with extra sugar and sultry temptation. The intense spark in his eyes invokes a hot tingly feeling in between your legs. “It was great, actually. Just relaxed and watched a lot of stuff on my laptop.”
“Hmm, sounds fun,” you say with little interest. You suddenly sit up straight and climb down the lifeguard tower. “I forgot to put on sunscreen too! I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?” You don’t wait for his answer, making your way to the staff locker room by yourself. There are only three middle aged swimmers in the water at the moment so he will have no problem covering for you.
You trail through the columns of lockers before reaching yours. Entering the combo and popping the lock off of the metal cubby, you retrieve the orange container of pearly liquid. You pull down the top of your one-piece swimsuit to reach the areas that might be exposed to the sun’s harmful rays on your back side. Anyone can get skin cancer after all. As you rub the protective lotion over your skin, Jaehyun watches you, joining the locker room not long after you did. Through the angled mirror in the locker room, he watches your front side, admiring your exposed body that he has seen more times than he can count.
You finally glance to the side and see his reflection ogling at your naked body, pivoting to face the lockers and covering your bare breasts.
“Fuck!” you screech. You fist at the top of your swimsuit to tug it up and cover your body appropriately but it snags on the open locker door, making it impossible to pull up without handling it with two hands. You grab your pool towel and wrap in around your body as a substitute for coverage. “Jaehyun, what the fuck are you doing in here?”
“Did you really think you could keep it a secret y/n?” Jaehyun teases you. His mocking tone instantly brings the nervous feeling to bubble back up inside you.
You laugh awkwardly, eyes never leaving the inside of your locker as if obligated to study the faded black duffle bag cramped up inside the metal storage compartment. “Jaehyun, I still don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any secrets, I just said that.”
Perhaps it’s rooted in his competitive nature but when Jaehyun is certain of something, he tends to take every measure to get to the bottom of it and confirm his theory and you know it. You didn’t think this was one of those circumstances though, being that you were under the impression he is fishing for answers. Literally minutes ago you had told him you didn’t have any secrets.
What reasonable evidence did he have that would make him so sure?
“Then tell me, sweetheart… how else do you make money?” the heartthrob asks alarmingly close to you.
You swallow thickly, mouth dry and head spinning. “Are you high? I already told you I don’t have any secr-”
“Cut the bullshit, y/n. We both know that you’re lying.” By this point, he is directly behind you, hot breath tickling the bare skin of your shoulder blades.
Courage whells up in your tight chest, emboldening your assertion, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Seriously, I’m telling the truth.” You don’t know where that statement came from but it sounds convincing enough to sway nearly anyone away from skepticism; or at least anyone except Jaehyun, that is.
“Okay, sure… so you’re telling me that you don’t fuck yourself in front of a camera and broadcast it on live for anyone to watch?”
You’re beyond shocked by his provocative words, so much so that the pool towel clutched to your chest with one hand, as well as your jaw, drop to the floor. The damp material crumples around your ankles.
He snickers at your reaction. “Yeah, I know you’re a little slut, y/n.” Running his knuckles down the length of your arm lightly, he further stokes the fire in your abdomen. “We all know you’re a little slut.”
“A-all?” you squeak with mortified eyes bulging out of your head. You crane your neck around to meet his heated gaze. He proudly dawns a devilish smirk, sly dimples etched into his cheeks.
“Haechan is reallllyy good at finding things out sometimes.”
“Haechan? H-how?”
Ignoring your question, Jaehyun continues, “And I’ve always wondered something. Do you wanna know what that is?”
You nod without hesitancy. “What?” You try to spin around to face him but he swiftly shoves your front up against the lockers.
“When I watch you finger yourself, I’ve always wondered what your pretty pussy would feel like if it was my fingers instead,” he confesses darkly.
Surprising both him and yourself, you voluntarily maneuver your hands behind your back and whisper, “then what are you waiting for?”
One of his hands roughly closes over your wrists while the other hooks between your legs to rub the red stretchy material over your slit with eager fingers. “God, what a whore. You’re already wet.”
You let out a weak whine, squirming against the lockers as he thumbs your swimsuit to the side and immediately plunges into your entrance. His fingers pet your warm walls generously.
“You like that, huh? Getting fingered in the locker room in public? Nearly anyone could walk in and see what a dirty slut you are,” Jaehyun spits out menacingly. “Fucking answer me, whore.”
“Yes! I like it, I really like it,” you whimper. He slides his fingers out of you and lets go of your wrists, ripping your swimsuit down your legs swiftly. You lift your feet up uncoordinatedly and he has to steady your body so you don’t fall. He retracts all contact from your body for 30 seconds to take care of a few tasks. He positions large kickboards under your knees so you don’t get hurt then he yanks you to the ground and wrangles your body in a certain position on your knees. Bending you over one of the locker room benches, he spanks your ass hard.
Right side up again, he stretches your swimsuit vertically to the point where you can hear dozens of seams rip. He begins to tie your wrists together behind you, cooing, “What a shame that it ripped. I bet it’s going to be so embarrassing when you go out there in a ripped swimsuit, hmm?” Jaehyun also gets to his knees, returning his fingers to your slick hole, this time fingering you with greater intensity. “Maybe people will see your breasts or your ass through the holes I made. Honestly I can’t wait to see that embarrassed look on your face when they find out you’re a naughty slut.”
You groan and throw your head back, savoring the thrill of being fingered by Jaehyun at work. He blesses you with heavenly pleasure for longer than you can comprehend then. Leaning down to kitten lick at your folds, he thrusts his tongue inside you a minute later, reaching one hand around to your front and rubbing your clit aggressively.
You didn’t know that when he stepped away to take care of some things, he had 1. thrown the kickboards down in front of the bench to protect his knees and your knees; 2. removed his black shirt and green swim trunks; and 3. set up his phone to record the naughty ordeal. He strokes his stiff cock in the hand that isn’t responsible for attacking your clit with overstimulated rubbing and rocks back on his knees, shifting out of the way to show your gushing slit to the camera for a moment.
Your impatience to be filled by him pushes you to whine, “Jaehyun, please fuck me already.”
“Aw, the dirty whore is desperate to be filled,” he coos, smacking your ass. “Ask nicely again, baby.”
“Please, Jaehyun! Please I need it, I need you inside me, please…” You wiggle your butt side to side, whining louder than before.
Without warning, he sinks his thick cock inside you in one motion. You release a strained sob while your walls sting, taking a short period of time to adjust to his size. “Fuck, I always knew you would be this tight.” He rocks into you at a fast pace from the very start and in no time at all, he pumps inside you with ferocity you have never experienced before.
“I didn’t tell you before, but I’m recording all of this on my phone. You know, for the times when you aren’t online, streaming yourself fucking that dirty pussy with your fingers or using your naughty toys,” he huffs.
“G-good, I’m glad I can make y-you happy anytime you want,” you stutter through exhaustion.
“That turns you on right? Being filmed and exposed completely naked, cunt on display for everyone to see like a fucking slut?”
Distracted by overflowing arousal, you hum in agreement without managing to spit out any words.
His fingers connect with your abused clit once more to throw you over the edge. You bite down hard on your bottom lip to suppress the loud cry that impulsively rises up your throat as tight knots snap from overwhelming stimulation. Your orgasm ripples through your veins, triggering every muscle in your body to convulse and spasm widely.
He hums satisfied he could make you come so quickly. Jaehyun powerfully pounds into your melting hole for what feels like a blissful eternity before his stamina wears thin, on the cusp of climax. “God, you feel so good, y/n. I just know the others are jealous I get to fuck you from now on.”
You anchor your hands to the bunch as he defiles your cunt with hard thrusts to finally reach his climax. His hips buck into your throbbing hole erratically, unloading inside you and filling you to the brim with his cum. He slides out of you and sits back on his thighs. He watches a mixture of your juices and his cum drip on the kickboard below you and begin to roll down the inside of your legs.
You’re a panting mess. Dizzy and dehydrated, you lay your chest on the bench. Your head remains in the clouds for a half minute, only jolting when something makes contact with your sore slit. Jaehyun wipes away some of the cum with the corner of your towel that didn’t fall on the locker room floor.
“Up we go,” Jaehyun encourages, helping you to your feet. “There it is, good girl.” He stabilizes you when you sway back and forth, then helps you put your swimsuit back on. It isn’t nearly as bad as he made it seem before, just a few loose seams along the edges. He kisses your cheek and winks. “Next time, we’ll have to use that new sex toy I bought before you could.”
You swat his arm hearing the revelation. “No way! That was you?”
He engulfs you in his strong arms. “Mhmm, and I’m going to make you come so many times, you’ll be screaming my name loud enough for the other guys that live on my floor to hear.”
Rolling your eyes, you wriggle out of his hold and feel the damp material covering your pulsating slit. “Jaehyun, I’m still leaking your cum. I thought you wiped me up?”
He raises one eyebrow, challenging you to something new. “I thought it would be a fun little game if you could keep my cum a secret until the end of our shift. What do you say? Think you can manage to actually keep a naughty secret this time or will someone notice something seeping from your used cunt?”
You purse your lips mulling over the dangerous game but thankfully you have birth control. You never anticipated you would willingly take on something so risky and potentially embarrassing but nothing has ever excited you in the way Jaehyun’s proposal has. For better or for worse, you ultimately return his sly smile, shaking the hand he extends out to you. “You’re on. But I’m wearing my short robe, got it?”
He laughs for some reason that is unknown to you, kissing your lips one last time then leading you out to the pool. “As long as you don’t tie it and leave the front open for everyone, that’s fine.”
The second you step through the entryway to the locker room, you find out why Jaehyun was so amused.
“Hey, y/n! Surprise!” Haechan yells from across the pool followed by greetings from 8 other guys for a mini, last minute end of the summer celebration. Some of them are co workers while the rest are acquaintances and you don’t know which ones you would be more embarrassed to notice Jaehyun’s cum trailing down your inner thighs. Starting to sense the stickiness escaping your swimsuit, you nonchalantly wipe that area when you think no one is looking.
“Good luck keeping this secret, baby,” Jaehyun whispers in your ear. “You’re gonna need it.”
You uncomfortably waddle away from Jaehyun as your lifeguard co workers approach his side, pretending that you didn't hear him say that every friend of his has watched your own cum drool down onto your bed before. You haven't the faintest clue that the other guys - ALL of the other guys - know what went down in the locker room. Let's just say you weren't exactly quiet.
"Sooo... are you ever going to let us see the video you recorded in there? Or at least me?" Haechan flutters his eyelashes, hoping to appeal to Jaehyun and sneak a peek of the dirty movie. "None of this would've happened if it wasn't for me catching y/n looking at her site on her laptop at the beginning of the summer."
Jaehyun laughs at the younger lifeguard's pleading tone. "In your dreams."
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this is like 90% proofread! me? proofreading anything before posting? what a wild concept!
i started writing this at the height of the adult swim challenge/trend on tiktok but then i hit a wall and put it off for like two months ahhhhvwnikeudhagjbvncwiodlkdg pretty lucky that 127's pool activities in nct life sparked my interest again
sorry this is really late! I tend to say that for basically everything so ? i'm sorry about that too ?
**stream sticker!**
➾my masterlist
© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.
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jenossslut · 14 hours ago
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Back Seat- J.JH
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Pairing: jaehyun x reader
Genre: smut
Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, car sex, choking, sub!jaehyun and dom!reader, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, cum eating, dom!jaehyun and sub!reader, thigh riding
Words: 1,101
Taglist: @0429a @ilovjaehyun @jaesspresso​ 
Cars raced past you, while Jaehyun drove at a reasonable pace. You two had gone out to dinner with his members, which was filled with drinking, laughter and small talk.  Jaehyun didn’t drink since he was driving, but you drank a bit, though you still had control over yourself. 
You looked over at Jaehyun, the moon light hitting his face, making him look more angelic. Your eyes admired his face: the way his eyelashes fluttered against his face (you were jealous of his eyelashes, but you never told him that), his plump lips looked so kissable, you were addicted to them. His cheeks were the perfect combination of squishy and structured, you wondered how that was even possible to have the perfect cheeks. Your eyes soon travelled to his hands, the way they gripped the steering wheel. His slender fingers accompanied with silver rings, the light bouncing off them. 
You must have stared at his hands for too long as Jaehyun spoke up. “You’re staring again, honey”, his words made you jump, a smirk forming on his face. Being the absolute tease you are, your hand went to his thigh, travelling upwards slowly, all while looking forward. Jaehyun’s breath hitched in his throat, your hand nearing closer to his crotch. You smirked as you felt his pants getting tighter under your hand, now only an inch away from his growing bulge. 
Something inside Jaehyun switched on as he quickly parked the car in a layby at the side of the road, turning the car off. Your hand left his clothed bulge, taking your seatbelt off and leaning against the door. Your hands went to the skirt of your dress, moving it to expose your thighs to him. Jaehyun took his seatbelt off and grabbed your thighs, pulling you forward. You got up and straddled him, pressing your clothed core into his bulge. He groaned at the feeling, throwing his head back. Your hands fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning them quickly. You successfully got his shirt open, taking it off him and throwing it behind you. You attached your lips on his sweet spot, sucking on it. You grinded your core into his bulge, your arousal leaking into your panties. Jaehyun rested his head against the headrest, moans leaving his mouth. One of your hands travelled to his neck, putting pressure on his throat. The feeling made Jaehyun lose it in his pants, staining his boxers with cum. You could feel him release under you, pulling away from his neck. 
“I’ve hardly touched you, and you already came? You really are needy, aren’t you, baby boy?”, you said, smirking at him. Jaehyun whined at your words, suddenly feeling submissive under you. “Baby please, I-i want your lips wrapped around me, I need you”, he whined, thrusting his hips up into your core, a moan leaving your mouth. You got off Jaehyun and got on the floor of the car, kneeling between his legs. Jaehyun unzipped his pants, pulling them down his legs, along with his boxers. His cock sprung out, the tip an angry red. You wasted no time and put him in your mouth, moving your head back and forth, the tip hitting the back of your throat. The sounds that were leaving Jaehyun’s throat was music to your ears, a finger going inside your panties.
You pumped your finger in and out of you, curling it inside to reach your g-spot. The sight of your sucking him off and fingering yourself made Jaehyun twitch in your mouth, nearing his orgasm. He thrusted himself in your mouth, making you gag. Tears were streaming down your face, saliva dripping down the sides of your mouth. 
Jaehyun soon released his arousal in your mouth, a high pitched whine leaving his throat. You swallowed his juices, taking him out of your mouth and leaning up to kiss him, making him taste himself on your lips. Something inside him switched as he went from feeling submissive to dominant. “Get in the back, baby”, he instructed, and you climbed into the backseat. You sat there, waiting for Jaehyun. Your legs spread, the wet patch in your panties visible. Jaehyun took his shoes off, then his pants and boxers, making him completely naked. He climbed into the back with you, kneeling in between your legs. You lifted your dress up past your waist, giving Jaehyun access to your panties. 
Your panties were soon thrown somewhere, Jaehyun’s tongue pumping in and out of your dripping cunt. You threw your head back, your moans getting louder the more he pumps his tongue in and out of you. Jaehyun lapped up your arousal, swallowing your juices, moaning at the taste. You clenched around nothing, feeling yourself coming to your high. You soon came all over Jaehyun’s tongue, some of your arousal dripping down his chin. He licked up your arousal, wiping his mouth clean.
He got up from in between your legs and sat on the seat. “Ride me, baby”, Jaehyun said, and brought you onto his thigh, straddling it. Jaehyun’s hand went to the back of your dress, unzipping it and lifting it above your head, your perky breasts now exposed to him. He kissed along your breasts, holding your hips, guiding you along his thigh. You rubbed your cunt against his thigh, your movements starting off slow before speeding up. 
“That’s it baby, move that pretty little cunt against me”, he moaned into your breasts, biting the skin, making you throw your head back with a moan. The more you move against him, the closer you get to your second orgasm, your juices coating his thigh. You let out a high pitched whine as you came down from your high, leaning your head against Jaehyun’s chest. You suddenly felt yourself being laid down against the back seat, Jaehyun teasing your hole with his tip. You saw stars as he thrusted in you, moving his hips at a steady pace. 
You both moaned at the pleasure, your hands gripping his shoulders. “F-fuck Jae, right there”, you moaned out, Jaehyun hitting your g-spot. His thrusts started getting sloppy, meaning he’s close. He twitched inside you, your eyes rolling back. You clenched around him, nearing your high too. Jaehyun released inside you, your arousal soon coating his cock afterwards. Jaehyun felt himself grow soft inside you, lying on top of you. You stroked his hair, moving the pieces of hair that stuck to his forehead. You laid like that for a while before you cleaned yourselves up and got dressed, driving home to the warmth of your home.
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tinysushimark · a day ago
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Loved (LMH)
TW: Cursing (loads?), Not eating (?)
FLUFF 💫 , Established Relationship, Female reader. Mentions of Jaehyun and Taeyong (0.913k words)
"Babe, can you please open the door?" The speaker said and you sighed and rolled in your bed, "Why can't you just ring the bell like normal people, Mark Lee?" 
"Please open the door, I have a bunch of stuff-"
"You have a key! Just let yourself in for fucks sake, I'm too comfy comfy." 
"I didn't bring my key because you are home, get your lazy ass up, this shit's heavy Y/n." 
You got up and dragged the blanket along with you as your fingers dragged along the locks to unlock them. Your boyfriend stood there in a hoodie and a bunch of bags which probably had snacks in them. 
You couldn't even bother fixing your hair and he let out a small giggle when he saw it. You tutted at him and walked away with your blanket. You were annoyed at the fact that he made you get up when you told him you were comfortable in bed.
After hours of struggling and missing your boyfriend you had finally found a position in bed which made you feel comfortable. The bed didn't seem all that huge with pillows all around and you were satisfied only to be disturbed by him. 
You sat on the couch and wrapped yourself up in your blanket as he put away all the things he bought. When he was done he sat down next to you and tried pulling you closer with all his strength. Your feet flailed to get out of his grip but you failed and ended up sitting on his lap with your face the other way because you were mad at him.
"What did I do now?" Mark whined and tried to make you face him but you huffed out a breath and turned to him, you brought your hands out of the blanket so that you could show him your fingers, "1. You stood me up yesterday. 2. You didn't even text me that you stood me up yesterday. 3. My boyfriend hasn't contacted me in a week and he hasn't even told me why and he won't even let me visit him. 4. My boyfriend didn't eat dinner yesterday. 5. You bought a bunch of unhealthy stuff and now I'll get fat and then you'll break up with me because I'm fat." 
He smiled and buried his face in your neck, "Bitch! Say something? What are you a fucking cat? What the fuck?" You groaned trying to pry his head off your neck, he planted a kiss there and looked up at you, "I have been busy, I'm sorry about yesterday. Who told you I didn't eat? And if I buy snacks, it's for us, we'll both get fat together." 
"Where did you change your clothes and take a shower, the entire week?"  You asked him and he giggled, "At the dorms." "What's funny?" You poked his cheek and he smiled brightly. "You care so much about me, it makes me feel loved."
"You didn't eat yesterday!" 
"Who told you that?"
"Jaehyun!" 
"He's always out for blood, he always makes you and me fight and then he finds amusement in it and then he'll solve it like he's a hero. And you get convinced by him each time so you end up fighting me." 
"He doesn't lie about this stuff, and even Taeyong called me to ask if we had a fight or something because you didn't eat yesterday." You looked at him for clarification and he just sighed in response.
"I was too tired to eat." He hid his face in your neck because he knew that if he maintained eye contact with you, you would give him a long lecture about how he needs the nutrients and how dumb he is for not eating properly.
"I'm sorry I didn't come home this week, I missed you so much babe. I had so many schedules and then when Manager told me I have work each day, I was just too tired to come back home and I didn't want to annoy you because I'd be too tired to even speak to you. So I ended up staying at the dorms. And honestly, my phone's just there, I have a week's worth of messages on there that I haven't checked. I haven't even called my mom, the entire week." Your hand pushed the hoodie off his head, his bright green hair was a mess underneath it. Your hand fixed it and you smiled at him as he constantly stared at you like a lost puppy.
You kissed the mole on his cheek and slowly opened your blanket so that he could have some of it too. You sat on his lap and stared at him for a good amount of time before falling asleep on his shoulders. His warmth made your coldness go away in an instant. Your hands were intertwined and he slowly pulled his hand away and placed it under your waist. He walked towards the bedroom with you in his arms, he slowly placed you on the bed and you moved around trying to find him and your eyes shot open when you didn't feel his arm around your waist.
He smiled at you as he placed his hoodie on the hanger and walked towards you. Your arms extended towards him and he giggled at how clingy you were behaving. "I'm here baby." He said and played with your hair.
"Where else would you be, loser?" 
Taglist: @taemin-jaemin @bluejaem @jaemotel @coffeevddict @dreamyyang @chunbyun @songchan
To be added to my taglist drop your @'s here.
Networks: @superm-net @nct-frathouse @pretty-neos
Read More: Masterlist.
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honeymark · an hour ago
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tw: suggestive touching.
Jaehyun hasn’t spoken a single word in the last three hours ㅡ which, considering the circumstances, isn’t entirely out of the ordinary. You’d already gotten through three new episodes of Beyond Evil and just started the fourth one, but, again, not a single peep from Jaehyun. You wonder if he’s bored, or if he’s too deep into the plot to speak, or if the dust of pink visible in the tips of his ears is normal. 
You redirect your attention to the screen, and while you’re able to hear the heated conversation between the main characters, you can’t make out any of their words because, before you know it, your focus is back on Jaehyun.
And he knows. He knows that you’ve been watching him.
“You like what you see?” he asks you, a hint of a smile hidden in his voice. 
He half-expects you to jolt in surprise or to stutter some form of a poorly-planned comeback, but your only visible response is a small nod. 
“Yeah, I do,” you confess, your voice tiny compared to the fight unfolding in the background.
He looks at you with a sort of look that nears delighted confusion before breaking into a quiet laugh. “Then take a picture; it’ll last longer.”
“I was going to, but I figured it’d be rude to do that during the episode,” you tease as you shift your position to face him directly.
Jaehyun shrugs. “I don’t mind, if you’re the one taking it.” 
You huff an airy chuckle as you bring your knees to your chest. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” you say, with a nod.
His lips curve up into a crooked smile as he leans forward and places his hand against the side of your knee. “Are you guaranteeing a ‘next time’?” he asks you, a clear-cut wolf-like glint in his eyes.
Something about his countenance sends your heart into heated overdrive, so much so that you can feel the beat of your heart thundering in your chest. “Only if you want there to be a ‘next time’,” you mutter, quickly. 
Jaehyun nods his head once and whispers an “I do” before fitting the shape of his lips against yours. The kiss is soft, at first, but it’s not long before your eyes are closed and your lips are parted for his tongue, allowing yourself to completely melt away into his desire. He slides his tongue over the plump of your bottom lip before biting at it tenderly. Heat starts to pool in the apples of your cheeks as he starts to work the pads of his fingers underneath the hem of your t-shirt. You gasp unintentionally when his touch rides up a little too far, and to your disappointment, he breaks the kiss immediately.
“Sorry,” he whispers, pulling his hands out from under your shirt and hugging you close. “Are you okay?”
“Mhmm,” you breathe against his forehead. The digital clock sitting in the corner of your room catches your eye as the time strikes twelve, and almost like a cue, it physically startles you. “Will you be okay?”
Jaehyun cocks his head to the side. “Will Iㅡwhat?”
“It’s midnight,” you tell him as you slowly begin to climb off of his lap. “Will you be able to catch the last train?”
He curls his fingers around your wrist and delicately guides you back to him. “Probably not,” he shrugs, kissing the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “I’ll take a taxi, no worries.”
“You can sleep over, if you want,” you offer, your voice candied in caramel and  dripping with honey.
A sharp moan escapes past your lips as he sinks his teeth into your neck. “You should be careful, Y/N,” he murmurs, sliding his tongue over the fresh mark. “Inviting strangers into your room is dangerous.”
“You’re hardly a stranger anymore,” you return as you comb your hands through his hair. “And it’s not like you’re going to do anything crazy to me.”
He looks up at you, half-surprised and half-amused. “How’re you so sure?” he asks you, his curiosity genuine. “What if I ask you to blindfold me and tie me up?”
You press your lips into a thin line to stifle a giggle. “I feel like you would’ve asked for it already, if you really wanted me to do that to you.”
“Fair,” he says, with a grin. “Am I allowed to ask for something else?”
You smile. “Like what?”
“Like if I can kiss you again,” he murmurs, his voice an entire octave lower than before. 
Your breath hitches in the base of your throat, and you do your best to work down a swallow as you try to ignore the growing fire burning in your abdomen. “Please do,” you whisper, almost too quickly.
Jaehyun tilts his head forward and presses a delicate peck against your lips. His hands find the soft of your waist as he sucks a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your neck to the dip of your collarbone. You breathe a light chuckle as he delicately nips at the tender skin.
“That tickles,” you whisper as you brush away a few stray hairs from his face.
He smiles before kissing you on the lips once more. “I can tickle you somewhere else, if you want me to,” he teases as he drums his fingers against your thigh.
“Are you always this cheesy?” you ask. 
He shrugs, before kissing you again. “Only when I get really desperate,” he says with a grin.
You part your lips to respond, but whatever is about to come out of your mouth is immediately vaporized into nothingness as soon as you hear the lock of your front door click into acceptance. 
“Fuck, they’re baㅡ”
“We’re home!”
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tongue tied :: twenty-two
summary: a promiscuous basketball star finds his carefree world turned upside down when he crashes the winning team’s afterparty. a series about unexpected relationships, broken bonds, and the quintessential struggles of college life.
tags: @keytomythoughts @yo-dreamrush @chakrasanddrugs @the-universe-in-you-jjh @galaxyjisung @marklexleaf @sideeffectssss @afterourspring @justineasian @huangberryyy @theloouiisee @tamakikaname @whywontyousetfree @littleteafawn @rageofcaliban @itskkung @minkyungstudies @babyd0nt @quintessentialing @chnhua @painted-hills @httpjeongjaes @thejungjaehyun @zedella @yoonohing @linibambinii @doderyscoffee @fakektexts @atinytree @oc-helps @cookydream @lynniac @yizzhuos @dxftprettyboys @awfullytiredbuthealing @injunsdimple @jaeficrecs @kimjngws @mybbtaeyong4thewin @hiraarri @jiye0n0 @atynsuh @yujinpop @je0ngjaehyun @markistheloveofmylife @cryingforjae @daegalfangirl @minavenue @ilovjaehyun @wonwoosimp (lmk if you’d like to be added!)
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sehunniepotwrites · a day ago
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I LIKE ME BETTER (WHEN I’M WITH YOU) | MASTERLIST
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SYNOPSIS. How have two people never met when they’ve shared a group of mutual friends for the past year? That was the first question their friends had. Despite being in the same circle, Kim Sooyeon and Jeong Jaehyun had never crossed paths. Knowing they would be good for each other due to their similar interests and past experiences, their friends decide to play a little game of matchmaker and give both their hopeless romantics they call friends a chance at love.
Now the second question was: would everything go according to plan?
alternatively, the fluffy strangers to lovers college!au in which Kim Sooyeon’s friends are tired of her complaining about being single and find her perfect match in the one and only campus DJ, Jeong Jaehyun.
PAIRING. Jeong Jaehyun x Kim Sooyeon [female O.C.] GENRE. college!au, strangers to lovers!au, radio dj!jaehyun, skater!oc, slow burn, fluff angst, highly suggestive/smut in two chapters (warnings posted beforehand)
WARNINGS. language, food and alcohol consumption, college parties, physical and verbal assault, blood, sexual content (making out, partial nudity, dry humping)
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
legend: ✎ written part | (m) suggestive/mature
intro 1 / intro 2 — hello, good friends!
1.1 / 1.2 ✎ / 1.3 — the first meeting
2 ✎ — movie night with a pining idiot
3.1 / 3.2 — to ask or not to ask: that is the question?
4 ✎ — the not-date
5 — late night shenanigans
6 — to the beach!
7.1 / 7.2 ✎ — love letters
8 ✎ — spring breaaaaaak!
9 ✎ — a sweet reunion
10 — back to school
11 ✎ — the first date
12 — drunken karaoke
13 — the morning after
14 — night, night!
15 ✎ — a strike for the gutter ball queen!
16 — living in their own world
17 — dance, dance
18 ✎ (M) — kisses on kitchen counters
19 ✎ — the unfortunate boba run
20.1 ✎ / 20.2 ✎ — the break
21.1 / 21.2 ✎ — making up for lost time
22.1 ✎ / 22.2 ✎ (M) — kiss the pain away
23 — fuck finals, let’s go on a date!
24 — hatching a plan
25.1 / 25.2 — can i be your girlfriend, can i?
Epilogue 1 / 2 — a happy ending
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AUTHOR’S NOTE. hi yes, this is a repost with edits! the original was posted in july 2020 and my writing style has changed since then.
with that being said, i will slowly be rewriting/editing some of the scenes and formatting--this may mean older chapters may be broken up into more parts for the sake of formatting. scenes may be added or taken out, more descriptions will be placed throughout the story, etc. the biggest edit is that y/n is now an o/c named kim sooyeon (fc: lee gaeun). if you do not like this change, i am keeping the original up! please do not mind the timestamps and pictures where the likeliness do not match. creating a social media au is both fun and challenging; they also take a lot of time.  
revision start: september 2021 | revision end: n/a
READ THE ORIGINAL Y/N VERSION HERE!
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© sehunniepot / sehunniepotwrites, 2020-2021
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jae-canikeepyou · a day ago
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| fireflies | j.jh | masterlist
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main masterlist
fireflies 💫 (ongoing)
genre: fantasy | au | adventure | fluff | angst
↳ there isn’t one person in the entire nation who wouldn’t know his name: yuno, one of the nine knights from the ignis kingdom. whether good or bad, he would attract eyes in whatever he does or whereever he goes. crossing paths with him is one thing, however your supposed resenting / angry heart softens and becomes vulnerable towards this man— actually, the only man who ruined your life. it’s definitely another issue and you’re determined to find out why.
[ last chapter update: tbc ]
*posts whenever available/if i remember hehe*
chapters: tbc
series’ tags: fireflies jjh asks // fireflies character asks
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doiebunny · 3 months ago
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promised
Pairing: Jaehyun / You Genre: one shot, childhood friends to enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au Rating: M Warnings: dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), fingering, rough sex, thigh riding, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex Word count: 20.9k Summary: You hate him. He hates you. But you’re arranged to one another. The universe really works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?
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It’s a Tuesday afternoon and Jung Jaehyun—an environmental lawyer—is slumped against his office chair, his gaze up at the ceiling, his lips slightly parted as the shock in his system still refuses to wane. All he could remember from the meeting with his father are the words marriage, wedding, contract, deal, merger. He’s not even sure if it came in that order. This is a lot to process and usually, he’s good at handling information, easily registering key dates, facts, arguments and laws in his head.
Okay, let’s set the scene straight. So he’s going to get hitched to you—would it really be that bad? Sure, there had been bad blood between the two of you but that was in high school. He hasn’t seen you in years so maybe there is a hopeful prospect to this situation. It could actually become a time to rekindle your friendship. This could be a reunion or a reconnection, if you will.
Deciding to bring out his phone, he decides to search you up on Instagram. Finding you easily, he browses your profile. Your feed is simple and clean. He focuses on the ones with you in it and my God, did you grow up to be a beautiful woman. You’ve always been pretty to him but the current adult version of you is hot. You put all those girls that Jaehyun fucks to shame, the name of the one he took to bed two nights ago already gone in his head. He clicks on your most recent post. Wearing a long gown in silver, you’re posing with a glass of champagne in one hand, your clutch purse on the other. Fuck. You’re dripping of elegance, of sex and just the sight of your bare thigh from the slit of your gown is enough to make him groan involuntarily, teeth gnawing on the inside of his lower lip. Since he’s already in this arrangement, he might as well begin this reunion by being the first to reach out, clicking the follow button before sliding into your DMs.
_jjh: u look good 🔥
It takes about eight seconds before ellipses are dancing around on the chatbox. Two more before he receives your reply.
yn.03: who tf are you??
Jaehyun feels the edges of his mouth twitch for a smile as he types his response.
_jjh: your future husband
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“What do you mean I’m marrying Jung Jaehyun, dad?”
“It means you’re marrying him,” your father just nods and confirms calmly, expression stoic as always.
Jung Jaehyun is a name that you haven’t heard in years and so to hear it falling from your father’s mouth was surprising and definitely unexpected, even more so when the word marriage succeeded it. You’re perfectly knowledgeable that eventually you’re going to be affianced to someone because of traditions but the atrocious and revolting thing about all this is the man your parents chose.
Every information they heralded in the span of seconds overwhelmed you, had you landing back down on your chair, elbows on your desk, hands on your forehead. Honestly, you are so close to pulling all your hair out. When you look up to meet your parents’ expectant gazes, you ask them again as to why you’re marrying Jaehyun. And once again, you’re met with the reason your father provided earlier. A deal. A contract. The merging of companies. The establishment of law firms. The exchange of million dollars between parties. 
Sighing, you screw your eyes shut and shake your head. This has to be a fucking nightmare that you’re having because there is no way this is happening. There is no way that this is the reality you’re living in now.
Your mother, ever so soft and gentle, regards you with a concerned look. “I know you’re upset, dear—”
“Upset?” you chime, half-laughing at the incredulity of it all. Standing up, you emphatically pronounce your feelings. “I’m not upset, mom. I’m more than upset. I mean, I know I’m going to be promised to someone but I just can’t believe you chose him.”
She flits her gaze between you and your father before holding your hand. “Honey, we have a good relationship with the Jungs. And besides, isn’t it better to marry someone you’re familiar with rather than a stranger?”
“I would much rather be married to a complete stranger than to him.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad,” she offers, optimism coating her voice. “Maybe this can be an opportunity to patch things up with him again, rebuild your friendship.”
With your firm resolve, you insist, “There’s nothing to rebuild. God, mom, this is just—”
“Enough.”
Your father’s voice is loud when he abruptly snaps, prompting you and your mother to turn to him.
“You’re going to marry Jaehyun whether you like it or not.”
With him leaving the room and your mother following shortly after embracing you and bidding you goodbye, you’re now left in your office. With your future cut out for you.
People say that hate is a strong word—a powerful, impactful verb. They say it's a strong word because society tends to use its opposite word more and throws it more often than hate. Society tends to lean towards being more polite and less offensive. To use the word hate means that you really detest something. And you've always been told to save that word for such instances and not just sputter it carelessly because hate contains a passionate feeling of negativity. So perhaps hate is not the right word to use when it came to Jung Jaehyun. You know what, scratch that. It is. There's no point in even sugar coating it because it really is how you feel for him. You hate him. You hate that you're promised to him for marriage even more.
Enraged, you snatch your phone on the desk, opening your earlier conversation with him. When you received the first message, you thought that this person was some random creep on the internet who’s fifty years old and probably bald. That was until you managed to view his display name and browse his Instagram profile briefly. Before you could even type a reply to his last message, your parents came in and dropped the news to you like a bomb. And now that everything has been officially confirmed, you realize that he is real. This really is Jaehyun.
Jaehyun, who was once your best friend. Jaehyun, who was once the constant in your life. Jaehyun, whose friendship you were once thankful for. Once upon a time, you two were inseparable. The best of friends. That was until junior year of high school. The bond between you two, the mutual respect and admiration for each other dissipated slowly into smithereens until it turned into bitterness and contempt for one another, turning you into strangers with history.
Rapidly, you’re typing up your response and reviving the conversation back, the speed of your fingers becoming directly related to the level of your infuriation.
yn.03: i’m not marrying you, jaehyun.
_jjh: i don’t think you have a choice, sweetheart.
yn.03: don’t call me that.
_jjh: do you prefer wifey?
yn.03: GAG ME.
_jjh: oh? didn’t know that you’re a freaky one too. i’ll make sure to remember that ;)
yn.03: fuck off
_jjh: lol i forgot how cute you are whenever you get riled up
_jjh: anyways see u tomorrow, sweetheart
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Jaehyun is currently alone in the elevator, waiting for it to reach the eighth floor. With his hands in his pockets, he gazes up at the blinking red arrows ascending on the screen. There’s not a lot going on in his head except for all those particular photos that grabbed his attention when he was scrolling through your Instagram last night. There’s that one image of you from five months ago wearing a grey sweatshirt coupled with ripped jeans, looking very girlfriend material. There’s also that one of you wearing a yellow off-shoulder dress from three weeks ago. God, with a pretty face like that, he’s sure you—
Ding.
The doors sliding open interrupts his reverie. Stepping out of the lift, he makes his way to his father’s office, making sure to politely nod and smile at the people working in their cubicles. When he enters the Chief Attorney’s room, he’s surprised to find that you’re there already, sitting on one of the chairs, fingers idly tapping on the desk as you wait for your own father, his father and of course, him.
“You’re late.”
These are the first words you utter, not even bothering to look at him when he enters the office. You haven’t seen each other in years and his tardiness is the first thing you comment on. But then again, considering your relationship and your distasteful feelings for each other, he’s not really expecting cordiality from you. Nevertheless, here you are, in all your glory, wearing a black pencil skirt and a collared white blouse. Oh, and you have got to be kidding him. Two of your buttons are undone.
Once he occupies the seat adjacent to you, he takes a gloss over you. It’s hard not to stare at your legs, at the exposed skin of your chest and collarbones. His dick is obviously happy about the sight of you as he feels it twitch. He grits his teeth and bites down on the inside of his lip to tame the arousal threatening to flare up.
“I’m not late,” he deadpans, taking a peek at his wristwatch then back at you. “You’re just early.”
Unfazed, you take a quick glance at his swept back, gel-filled, slick locks. “Nice hair. What did you do? Swim here?”
What a great reunion so far. He lets out a scoff. “It’s good to know that I’ll have such a supportive and loving wife.”
Rolling your eyes at the way he emphasized the last word, you fold your arms, feeling your irritation boil inside. When an inflammable silence brews thickly in the air, you evade his observant stare at you and distract yourself by scanning the room again, zooming on the details. It’s similar to your father’s office where there’s a wooden desk in the middle, files on top of each other, a picture frame perched beside the computer monitor, a couch in the corner of the room and a bookshelf that has those hefty law books.
Jaehyun sighs loudly, a petulant expression drawn on his face. “You know, the thought of marriage never even crossed my mind before all of this.”
This draws your stare back at him. “I couldn’t imagine anybody wanting to marry you.”
“And you think there’s a man out there who’d be willing to marry you?” he huffs a humorless laugh as he retaliates.
“You think there’s a woman who would want to marry a pants-wetter like you?” you pipe back with your first bullet of the day, completely unrelenting now that you’re provoked.
“Hey,” he yelps in defence. “I was ten!” God, you really might just be the hottest girl that Jaehyun despises. “And, if I remember correctly, aren’t you the one who cheated on our math exam because you copied off from my answers?”
Alright, that’s it. If you’re going down, you’re taking him with you. “Oh, yeah? Aren’t you the one who threw a fit and cried all day when you learned that Santa isn’t real?” you goad.
He leans forward, piercing his stare on your face as he ticks his head sideways. “Aren’t you the one who threw up on the teacup ride in Disneyland?”
“Hey, I had food poisoning,” you argue pointedly. “It’s not like I did that on purpose.”
“Whatever,” he dismisses. “You were disgusting.”
God, this guy is an abomination and to think that you’ll be settling down with him and that you’ll be tied down to him for the rest of your days is just unbelievable. “I fucking hate you.”
“The feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.”
When you wince at the term of endearment, a self-satisfied smirk crosses his lips and you swear you’ve never wanted to choke a guy so bad.
Unfolding your arms, you look at him challengingly. “You wanna talk about disgusting? Alright,” you nod. “Didn’t you shit your pants while waiting for the dentist? I’d say that’s pretty disgusting, wouldn’t you?”
Jaehyun falls silent as he reclines back on his chair. With a tight jaw, he glares at you, indignation steaming out of his nostrils. You, 1. Jaehyun, 0.
Smirking, you ask derisively, leaning forwards threateningly. “What’s the matter, Jung? Cat got your tongue?”
Jaehyun flips you off with a livid face.
“Nice,” you snort. “It’s like we’re still in high school.”
After his childish rebut, his sulkiness continues to loom over his face. “You know, I can’t believe they’re actually making me marry you. I’d rather be married to a goat,” he remarks bitterly.
You quirk a brow up. “Huh. I feel sorry for the goat. Having to deal with fuckin’ Pampers.”
“Why, you little—”
The sound of Jaehyun’s father clearing his throat stops him from uttering his explosive jab at you. Both of you turn to face the patriarchs of your family who are standing side by side, holding out some papers in their hands which you assume are the contracts since this is what the agenda is for today’s meeting. They approach the two of you and automatically, you’re both standing up with Jaehyun proceeding to courteously greet and shake your father’s hand, you with his.
After the formal greetings, they lay the papers out on the desk, explaining the contents, guiding you on where to sign. It’s basically a legally binding contract stating that you are agreeing to be married to each other. This marriage, they tell you, will look good on paper and will be good for their companies’ future. Your father specifically talked about the timeline and how the wedding will be six months from now to make way for the transition of the merger.
Law firms bearing your names will be built and spread out across the country, with Jaehyun leading and managing it. He’s bequeathed with two responsibilities and already, his stomach churns, shoulders sagging. His father is essentially making him take over an empire. All this time, he’s been preparing his son for something greater, something bigger. And this was it. Questions have started to swarm in Jaehyun’s head as he listens to them talk. He thinks about his own capabilities, fretting about whether he’s ready for this kind of duty.
Your fathers also said that it is imperative to be convincing once you’re both wedded to each other. Not only do you have to marry him, you also have to go through the ordeal of pretending to be happy and in love with him once you’ve tied the knot. You have to build a façade, show them that your combination is good enough, that you’re working together harmoniously. It’s better, they advise, to be sure and to steer out from any issues or hearsays that could come up. It is essential to persuade the people around you, even though right now, it’s harder to convince yourself to make up and reconcile with him. 
Throughout the whole discussion and their speeches, you don’t look at Jaehyun, finding yourself lost in your thoughts, wallowed by the feelings of resentment and detestation caused by this stupid tradition. The universe, you think, truly works in mysterious ways. It could play tricks on you and fuck with you. Put you into a horrible situation that makes you feel like you’ve hit fifty feet below rock bottom.
You’ve always dreamt of marrying for love but in this world, that kind of marriage isn’t an option. The notion of choice is non-existent. You’ve always thought that whoever it is that you’re going to be betrothed to, you would’ve learned to love them eventually. 
Let’s take your parents as an example. They were promised to each other. They were complete strangers who had to marry each other. And afterwards, they learned to love each other as they got to know one another. It was like dating in reverse. Now, here they are. Still happily married and in love even after all these years together. They’ve always served as inspirations for you. They were a guide, the ones that ignited that spark of hope inside you and made you think that someday, maybe you can have that too when your time comes. Now, you’re not sure at all if you can even have that. Because it’s Jaehyun.
There really is no way out to this. Fuck. How are you going to love each other when you can’t even stand being in a room with him? How are you going to build a bond with your future husband and pretend that you’re in a marital bliss with him when already, you’re both miserable about having been coupled together through this arrangement?
This will change and affect every single thing in your life. You could already envision it—you’ll both live under the same roof, you’ll do most things together, attend events and overlook the whole company. Your life with him would just be one huge obligation and that’s it. You and him would have to pretend to be the perfect husband and wife outside and when it’s time to return in the private sphere of home, it’ll just be the same. The rift between you would continue to divide you as you do your own things and live your own private lives separately without incorporating one another to your personal circles.
Perhaps Oscar Wilde really made a point when he said that one of marriage’s charm is that it will make a life of deception. The thought brings about a dull ache into the marrow of your bones because there’d be no love in this marriage, only duty. Marriage, you believe, should always have love, friendship—a bond. It should mean that two people are connected, not separated. Instead, this one is all fragmented from the very beginning. He’s going to treat this—you—as an obligation, as work. You might as well do the same and comply.
Swallowing your pride and emotions until the taste in your tongue turns bile and all your nerves are wired to only have bitterness in them, you sign the papers. That’s all it took for the deal to be sealed, for your choices to be decided for you and for your future to be written out on your behalf.
With your fathers leaving the room, you figure there’s no reason to stay here any longer. Standing up from your seat, you sigh exasperatedly and make your way to the door. If you’re being honest, you have no energy left. All you want to do is get out of here, scream inside your car, pour yourself a glass of wine when you get home and scream again just to feel cathartic.
“Hey, wait,” Jaehyun says, catching your elbow, his voice all gentle now. “Look, I know we both hate this arrangement but for the sake of our families, can we please set our personal problems aside?”
Crossing your arms, you blink up at him, considering.
“How about this,” he bargains when you don’t answer. “If I don’t win your heart in a month, then fine. We can call off the whole thing.”
You scoff. “Good luck in convincing my dad and your dad.”
“Hey, I can come up with something. I’m a pretty charming guy, you know,” he assures, a smile growing on the corners of his lips. It almost earned him a snort had you not controlled yourself. “I persuade people for a living.”
Raising a quizzical brow, you ask, “What are you proposing?”
“Four weeks,” Jaehyun offers confidently. “Four weeks to take you out on dates. And after that, you can decide if you want to go through this marriage with me.”
For a second, you deliberate. What he’s suggesting is not a bad idea. Remembering your mother’s optimistic words about how you can use this to patch things up with him, you suppose that you could give it a chance. And if it doesn’t work, then you trust him to stay true to his word.
Maybe this arrangement does have a silver lining despite it being murky at face value. Maybe change is what you need. A change in mindset, in outlook. Maybe you do need to start burying the past behind you and try to approach Jaehyun differently.
“Okay,” you say, conceding. “Four weeks, Jung. Four weeks.”
He nods as he extends his palm out. You shake it firmly, sealing the deal.
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For the first week of your agreement with Jaehyun, you go bowling.
It’s early afternoon when you get there, the place heaving with people. There’s a family in one lane, a couple in the far right and some young teenagers to the left. The smell of greasy pizza and donuts wafts heavily in the air from the snack bar as you and Jaehyun sit down and put on your bowling shoes.
Taking your designated lane, he starts to key in your names on the screen. You decide to warm up, grabbing an orange ball, slipping your fingers in the holes and aiming ahead before surging forward and letting the ball roll off your hand. It had a good start before it veered off to the side halfway through the path, only hitting one pin on the farthest right side.
“To be fair, I haven’t played in ages so…” you reason, shrugging nonchalantly.
“That’s okay,” he nods, goes to grab a pink ball from the rack and begins to angle it chest level, moving slightly as he stays in the middle. When he launches forward, it’s with a sure speed, bending his body, his right foot curving backwards as he swings his hand and lets the ball go. With the right amount of force and velocity, Jaehyun hits a strike on his first try, effortlessly knocking all the pins down.
“What the fuck?” You cross your arms, expression stupefied. “Are you like a pro or something?”
Giggling gingerly, he shakes his head. At your next bowl, the ball actually swerves off to the side halfway through the lane, rolling in the gutter. Jaehyun once again reassures you that these things happen and that you just need to keep on practicing.
Groaning in frustration, you pout. “Hey, is this why you chose bowling as our first date?” you say, hands on your hips as you arch a brow. “So you could make me feel bad about my skills?”
“I suggested bowling,” he counters with a smile, taking another ball and going beside you, “so I can teach you. It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it.”
“Easy for you to say,” you huff. “You probably scored one fifty in one go before.”
“Two eighty,” he reveals at the same time as the combination of noises from kids and the raucous of balls rolling and hitting pins increases in volume.
“Two eighty?” you repeat with a gasp, unsure if you even heard it right. “Who does that? Just say you’re a pro and go, Jung.”
He grins, slightly shaking his head to spread out his stubborn strands away from his forehead. “I’m not a pro,” he stresses. “Pros score like three hundred and that’s fucking hard to achieve.”
Shooting him a pointed, critical look, he steps to your side, transfers the dark green bowling ball to you. He positions himself behind you, holding your shoulders. “Keep your posture relaxed and straight.”
Nodding, you straighten your back even more. When his breath hovers at the side of your face, your pulse in your wrists vibrates, making you gulp as you urge your brain to concentrate on the lesson. He runs his palm on your arms and you follow its trajectory. “Make sure you keep your gaze ahead on the target.”
When you nod determinedly, Jaehyun continues. “Then when you’re about to bowl, lower your shoulders slightly.” He demonstrates the stance step by step. “Bend down a little and keep your hand under the ball.”
“Like this?” you ask, facing him as you follow his instructions.
“Yep,” he says, popping the ‘P’ sound. “And then when you walk forward, slightly bend your knee like this,” he guides, displaying the exact posture. “As you let the ball go, put your right foot backwards. Got it?”
“I think so.”
He implores, “Okay, you try it.”
Taking all of his words in, you begin to keep your eyes ahead as Jaehyun steps back to give you space. When you’re confident in your position, you finally stride ahead, making sure you don’t overstep on the line, bending slightly and slanting your foot backwards as you swing your hand and let the ball go. Compared to your previous attempts, you knock five pins in the front this time.
“Nice,” he shoots a proud grin your way, high-fiving you. “See? It’s pretty easy, right?”
Returning with an exhilarated nod, you sit down and watch Jaehyun as he goes for his turn, again beating the rest of the pins down cleanly. When he proposes for a real game after that round, you two start to get competitive. With your newfound confidence, you end up scoring high, catching up to him. You were on a roll, even scoring a spare.
“You’re still so competitive,” Jaehyun comments while he flickers his eyes up at the score then back at you.
“I’m not as bad compared to you,” you counter, watching a ball roll back to the rack. “Remember when you didn’t talk to Sicheng for forty-eight hours after he beat you in badminton?”
“Hey, in my defence, I just turned thirteen then,” he protests. “I blame it on the teenage hormones.”
“That’s your defence?”
“Yes.”
For your last bowl, you scored a nine. In the end, Jaehyun emerged victorious with a score of one seventy-four. You weren’t far behind, scoring a one thirty. You’re actually quite surprised at the result—you’ve never bowled a score this high before. When you were a teenager, the highest you achieved was a ninety. This isn’t a loss to you. If anything, you saw it as a win. A win in your skills.
After returning your bowling sneakers, he turns to face you with an offer. “You wanna go and get something to eat?”
“Sure. My treat.”
“Y/N, I can—”
“No, Jae,” you insist. “You paid for bowling so food’s mine.”
“But I’m the guy. I should be paying.”
“Jaehyun, it’s fine,” you assure him. “Just let me get it, okay?”
He relents, nodding. “Okay. Thanks.”
As a creative director for an influential brand, you don’t have any problem with spending. You’re not destitute, thank goodness. During first dates, you would allow the guy to pay but there’s no reason for him to just cover everything when you can also offer to pay and treat.
After roaming around the food bar, you both opted to have something light, settling for ice cream.
“Um, I think I’ll have the green tea ice cream,” Jaehyun decides after skimming through the menu board.
“You haven’t changed at all,” you comment, smiling. Whenever there’d be an ice cream truck that would stop outside your school in the afternoon, he would always ask for this specific flavor, never changing his order. Even in high school, it remained the same.
He mutely chuckles in an oddly shy manner, rubbing the back of his head as he keeps his scarlet lips pursed, a tinge of vermillion gracing the pores of his cheeks.
“Are you blushing? Gross,” you tease waggishly, nudging the side of his body slightly.
He rolls his eyes, bumping you back gently. “Shut up.”
Laughing, you step forward when the girl behind the counter calls for you. Jaehyun watches you articulate your orders in and you send an amiable smile to the girl, thanking her when she hands you his order first. He feels his heart clench in his chest as he accepts it from you, the smallest amount of contact from your fingers sending a shiver to his spine. There really are some things—and some feelings—from high school that hasn’t changed.
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When a harsh buzzing sound from your phone interrupts your peaceful and deep slumber, you reach out for the device on your nightstand and willed yourself to open your heavy lids, squinting to read who’s incessantly calling you.
Vision all bleary, you unlock your phone and answer with a throaty voice. “Hello?”
A familiar voice from the other line chirps a good morning and once your conscious registered who it is, you grunt.
“Do you know what time it is, Jung?” you complain, eyes wandering round to the balcony in your room, only to see that it’s still dark outside.
“It’s time for you to wake up and get ready because I’m picking you up in fifteen minutes for our second date,” Jaehyun responds, sounding spright.
“I sincerely hope you’re kidding,” you say, releasing a long exhale as you turn to the side again to check the time on your digital clock perched on your nightstand. “It’s five o’clock.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. But I promise this will be worth it. Now hurry up and get your ass out of bed. We don’t wanna miss it.”
Jesus fuck, this guy really is serious. A date at five in the morning. If this was a normal situation where you’re not at all linked together, you would’ve sputtered profanities at him, hung up the phone and then go back to sleep.
Drawling out a long, excruciating moan, you finally push the covers down after he hung up the phone. You don’t even know if you’re fully cognizant when you make your way to the bathroom and do your essential morning routine of washing your face and brushing your teeth. After putting on a pair of jeans and a shirt, you make sure to grab a cardigan to cover you up. You contemplate whether to put on some light makeup but in the end, you forego it, just taking a small bag and shoving your necessities in.
When you emerge out to finally face the dim world outside, you see Jaehyun leaning against his car door, wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans, a smile gracing his face when he meets your eyes. “Morning, sleepyhead.”
Covering your mouth as you yawn instinctively, you narrow your stare at him afterwards, exhaustion still lingering in your bones, preventing you from feeling energized to start the day. It’s barely light outside and the chilly morning air just makes you sleepier as you desperately long for the comfort and warmth of your own bed.
“This better be good,” you say.
He laughs at your attempt to be threatening. “It will be.”
Finally going in the passenger seat, you buckle yourself up, Jaehyun doing the same before turning the engine on. When you’re both on the road, you lean your head back and groan, only making your date’s grin bigger. He’d be bluffing if he said that he didn’t find your groggy and frowny self in the morning endearing and cute.
“So where exactly are we going?”
“You’ll see,” he says with a teasing smirk.
When you return with a pout and a questioning expression, he could only react with a chuckle. You’re comforted in always knowing the specifics and it makes him want to defy that by not disclosing details. Besides, where’s the fun in revealing it to you immediately? He, for one, wants to see your reaction once you get there.
Leaning your elbow on the windowsill and resting your head on your palm as you take in the view that you pass by, you can’t help but shake your head, stifling your idiotic smile upon the realization that you really are on a road trip with him at five in the morning.
With one hand on the steering wheel, he coasts through the highway smoothly and easily since only a few people are travelling at this time of day. Whatever he’s got planned for you, it’s safe to say that you’re definitely intrigued. 
For Jaehyun, this is a special day because he’s never taken any other girl out to this place. In the course of his dating experience, he’s never really found the right one to take. Come to think of it, he finds that he likes your company a lot. He always feels so invigorated whenever he’s with you. There’s familiarity with you and there’s a kind of simplicity with your personality that puts his heart to ease. Whereas with his exes, he felt exhausted since it always seemed to be about them. He pondered about the reasons why he felt that way with his former lovers and deduced that perhaps they only dated him because of his wealth and status.
With his last girlfriend—Rachel—he felt as though he was just someone in the background, a flower that she could display, a bit of decoration for her life. She rarely made an effort to get to know him and connect with him on a deeper level. It felt like it was always him chasing and wanting her. She grew too comfortable with that fact, liked knowing that Jaehyun was a pawn in her little games. In the end, he caught her fucking someone else in her car.
His last relationship resulted in his hesitation to commit, in his reckless, lascivious lifestyle of fucking with no strings attached since at the end of the day, he’s still a young man with needs. He worked hard so he can play hard on the side—this was how he lived before doomsday came to him. He knew he was going to be married to someone one day; he just never expected that the person his parents chose for him was you. But now that you are here in his life, now that you’re back in his world after a long time, he realizes that perhaps being arranged to you had been a blessing rather than a curse. He definitely brands it as good karma now.
Ever since your bowling date, he couldn’t get you out of his head. After that day, you texted each other nonstop. Sometimes, when he’s having his lunch break at work, he’d find himself randomly smiling at the thought of you, proceeding to bring out his phone to reread all your conversations. There’s still the occasional bickering between you but then again, he feels like it’s almost inherent to do that because of where you two started before all of this.
There’s that one where he sent you a screenshot of a tweet that he saw about whales, the conversation quickly escalating into the topic of global warming and ecosystems. And then you replied with a fact that you thought was right but really, you were in the wrong.
Jaehyun [10:58 pm]: …actually it’s Australia that’s managing it. The EPBC act 1999 is responsible for the protection of national and international flora and fauna, including the great barrier reef. get ur facts straight
Y/N [10:59 pm]: lol why u maddd
Jaehyun [11:00 pm]: not mad bro, just educating you.
Y/N [11:00 pm]: go off i guess 
Whenever he takes a glance at you, occasionally asking if you feel comfortable with the temperature, you keep on reassuring him, finding that warmth had started to travel from your palms to your cheeks. Maybe it’s not just from heat that emits from the heater.
“Stop that,” you protest when you finally feel like you’re about to implode from his stare.
“What?”
“You keep on looking at me like that.”
Averting his eyes away from yours, he stares at the road, tongue swirling round on his cheek to contain his giggle. As he steps on the gas and accelerates, it dawns on him that the place he’s taking you is one that’s actually special to him. It’s where he usually goes whenever he wants to feel relaxed, whenever he just wants to ease off all the stress, all the tension and negativity in his head. It’s his safe space and he wants you in it. He wants to make you feel how healing it is once you’ve entered the place. He hopes that you could see one of the things that he appreciates and that you’ll be able to feel something positive.
After a few minutes, Jaehyun makes a quick stop to a convenience store, tells you that he’s just going to buy some coffee and snacks for you both. It doesn’t take long before he steps out with a bag of food. Accepting gratefully when he passes it over to you, you bring out one of the crisps and start munching happily, sharing the bag with him.
Carefully and securely perching your cups on the holder, Jaehyun learns how you like your coffee and how your smile and mood exponentially increases once you take the first sip, with you proclaiming that you can finally function for the day. While you eat contently, moaning in satisfaction from having your first meal of the day, Jaehyun drives once again, completely rejuvenated, humming softly to the music playing on the radio.
The conversation between you falls naturally and easily, with you learning more about the kind of person Jaehyun is now. He revealed that he graduated law school with honors, told you how he had to work twice as hard because he didn’t want to disappoint his father. 
Ever since high school, Jaehyun had always regarded him as his role model, admitted to you that one of his biggest fears is failing him. He’s always been a filial son—something you’ve always admired about him. And ever since you were kids, Jaehyun has always been hardworking. He was someone who was full of dreams and ambitions so to hear that he thrived during his university days didn’t come as a surprise to you.
While he told you all about this, you found yourself admiring his candidness and how easy it was for him to open up to you, reminiscent of how he was in high school where you two shared your secrets to one another. It made you think about how he’s really allowing himself to welcome this change, to give this whole thing a chance. This Jaehyun is so different from that person in high school who always pushed your buttons and did everything to irk you and rile up your nerves, from that person who you heard sputter those words about you.
Aside from serious, personal topics, you also learned about the simple things that were equally important because it’s what weaves him whole—like his love for coffee, Money Heist and IKEA meatballs. When he talked about them, you noticed how his eyes gleamed and how the whiskers on his cheeks became more profound whenever he grinned.
Throughout the whole journey, there had been nothing but laughter and smiles with him. Your heart feels comfortable like this. It’s easy, natural and the chemistry is all familiar because it’s with him. If this was another man, you don’t think you’d get this kind of feeling. It makes you think that maybe your mother is right about how it’s better to have a future husband who you already know.
After a few more minutes of driving, he finally enters the area and parks the car.
“A nature reserve?” you ask while reading the sign.
“Yep.”
With the sky gradually lighting up, you waste no time to enter the area together, preparing yourself for what you can assume would be a long hike. Eyes surveying your surroundings, you can’t help but stare in awe. Encircled by trees, with a faint light seeping through the branches and the sound of birds chirping and greeting you two, you look at Jaehyun with a smile in your lips. The feeling that bubbles in your chest is inexplicable and persevering.
As you continue to walk with him, you don’t miss the way his pinky finger grazes with yours and the way sparks makes it way to your spine. You don’t miss the way he looks at you with soft eyes before winding his fingers with yours as though he is asking for permission. When your fingers embrace his, he receives his answer.
Hand in hand, the trek becomes easy, short and tireless. He turns to look at you. “You still mad at me for waking you up?”
Biting down on your lip and smiling, you shake your head. He chuckles and playfully pinches your scrunched up nose just like how he used to in high school whenever you make this expression.
After reaching the end of an uphill path, he stops and finally tells you that you’re both here. Mouth agape, you could barely blink at the captivating sight in front of you. It’s a meadow of tulips—a field of colorful, beautiful tulips all lined up in full bloom.
“Oh my God, Jaehyun, this is…” You’re at a loss for words, your breath completely sucked out from your lungs. Walking forward, you start to admire the myriad of flowers up close. “It’s beautiful out here,” you tell him.
He silently nods and follows behind, crouching down to caress a yellow tulip, taking a whiff. “I took you here because I know they’re your favorite.”
Your heart dangerously lurches in your chest. “You remember,” you say, surprised, as you squat down and touch the closest flower, its pink petal soft and smooth against your palm.
For a moment, you let yourself recall that day where you professed your love for tulips. It was one of your first memories with Jaehyun as a child.
During a coloring activity in kindergarten, your attention was fixated on a page full of flowers, your brows creased in concentration, the tip of your tongue swirling round on the corner of your lip. Jaehyun, with his peachy cheeks and his bowl cut, came up to sit beside you, diligently helped you in filling your page with colors as you told him that you liked those flowers, pointed to them and said that they are called tulips. He repeated the word after you, testing it on his tongue and you found it beautiful how it rolled off naturally on his lips.
“When it comes to you, I remember everything,” he says when your eyes meet, your pulse racing.
With warm cheeks, you stand up, deciding to walk further, going deeper in the field. Jaehyun follows and makes sure to stride beside you, keeping up with your leisure pace. The silence with him feels comfortable as the flowers in the field waltzes against the breezy wind. Above you, shadows of birds start to fly while the morning sky gradually starts to display a marvellous canvas of pastel blue with streaks of orange.
“I always go here in my spare time,” he reveals. Taking a relaxed inhale, he pushes his fringe back, only for it to fall back into place. “I like how it makes me feel calm because some days, I feel like I just need to shut all the noise down and this place definitely takes my mind away from that space.”
This place truly induces feelings of calmness and relaxation with its tranquillity and its fresh air. For the first time in ages, you didn’t seek for the chaotic, busy metropolitan that you’re used to. For the first time, you let yourself be one with nature.
Adding on to his words, you confess your own sentiments. “Sometimes, it can be overwhelming and you just feel like you need to take a step back and breathe.”
Turning his head to drop his gaze at you, a wistful smile glazes his lips. “Exactly,” he says, bending down and grabbing a tulip from its lower stem.
“Jaehyun, what are you doing? Are you allowed to pick flowers here?”
Your questions don’t deter him because he’s scrupulously plucking it in one swift motion, doing the same to the one beside it before standing up again, now with two pink tulips in his hand.
“Technically, you’re not allowed to pick flowers from this reserve but it’s fine,” he says with finesse. When he sees your lips part in shock and your worried expression at his revelation, he just laughs. “Nobody’s around anyway.”
Arching a brow, you can’t help but feel an onslaught of chuckles escaping out your throat. “Aren’t you an environmental lawyer? Shouldn’t you be an advocate for taking care of nature?”
“Well, I am taking care of nature.”
“I don’t think picking flowers counts,” you say dryly.
“I’m taking care of it because by picking these, I know that they’ll be in great hands when I give it to you,” he reasons, stretching out his hand at the same time to offer you the flowers.
Smiling foolishly at his intention and at the gesture, you hold it and lower your head slightly to take a smell, feeling something blossoming in the depths of your chest as though there’s a seed that’s been planted in there and a variety of inexplicable feelings have started to grow and flourish. Since when did he become such a romantic? Was he always like this? Is this what he’s like with his old flames?
“You really are a lawyer.”
This earns you a smile. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being daring and impulsive,” he says, putting his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “I mean, isn’t that what life is all about? Being adventurous and taking risks?”
Nodding, you watch the skyline in front of you as Jaehyun brings out his phone to check the time. It’s quarter to six. Just the right time to catch the sunrise in this perfect spot. Minutes pass by peacefully as you both observe how the sun ascends slowly and gracefully, its light brightly dispersing everywhere, kissing every surface it can land on.
When Jaehyun takes a passing glance at you, he sees the way your eyes are embracing the whole view and how the edges of your mouth are curled upwards as you release relaxed exhalations. He sees the way you radiate beauty against this light, the way your lashes touch your skin. He watches you and feels his heart soar at the same time, realizing that he’s finally found another view that’s more beautiful than the sunrise, a sight that he’d want to adore and praise for every day of his life.
When you catch him staring at you, a faint hue of pink glosses on his cheeks. “Thank you,” you say with sincere eyes.
“For what?”
“For taking me here,” you tell him.
He returns with a nod, delighted that you came to appreciate this place. Looking ahead again, you take a mental snapshot of the astonishing spectacle in your head.
“God, it’s so beautiful,” you breathe, completely enchanted and gravitated by nature’s moment of romantic change, feeling as though your heart is also being saturated with a new combination of colors.
With Jaehyun’s stare still lingering on your features, he could only let out his honest thoughts. “It really is.”
Leaning your head on his shoulder while keeping the tulips close to your chest, he shifts closer and wraps his arm around your waist. For a while, you just breathe together, admiring one of nature’s most intimate moments ever. It doesn’t take long before the world is bathed in yellow, bounded in broad daylight.
Jaehyun fishes for his phone and decides to document the scene, thumbing on his screen to let it focus before taking a few shots.
“Hey, Jae?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“God, please, no,” you lift your head, groaning.
His lips are curved upwards into a child-like smile. “Darling?”
Cringing, you shake your head.
“Pumpkin?”
When you feign a gagging expression, he laughs. You think it’s repulsive. He thinks it’s entertaining.
“Princess?”
When you don’t show any reaction and just bite down on the skin of your lip, he grins. “I knew it. You like to be pampered and spoiled.”
When you smack his arm playfully in defence, he just continues to let out kittenish giggles.
“Do you wanna take a photo together?” you finally drop the question you’ve been meaning to ask him after a few moments of quietness, your voice coming out soft.
His eyes widen before he nods. “Yes. Absolutely.”
Pressing the button for the front camera, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and angles his phone upwards. Counting down, he takes a couple of pictures as you pose together, your grins toothy as the first light of the morning soaks your skins, putting an incandescent glow to you both.
With the distant gleam shining on the world, signifying a promising start, you realize that this truly is the dawn of a new day.
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Once you’re both back on the road again, it is with high spirits. As he drives smoothly and safely, he turns to you, asking with a tentative tone, “Is it okay if we stop somewhere first?”
“Sure,” you nod and he smiles, reaching out to slightly turn up the volume of the radio.
When you recognize the song playing, certain memories flood back in your conscious. Looking at him, you’re sure that he’s thinking of the same one because he’s already singing along, his honey-like voice filling the car.
Fingers tapping the steering wheel to the beat of this Paramore classic, he starts to reminisce. “I still remember the day you introduced them to me.”
“During sports day, right?”
It was during middle school when you and Jaehyun were sitting on the side of the track field, minding your business and being in your own world while your other classmates were occupied in watching the relay race, intensely cheering and shouting. With your iPod, you shared your earphones with him and listened to the band together.
Grinning, he nods. When he resumes to sing, you decide to join him, both carefree and excited as you jam your hearts out to songs from your pubescent years.
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“A dog rescue center?”
“I volunteered here when I was an undergrad,” he reveals—much to your surprise—as he parks the car. When you both step out, he goes to open the trunk and grabs a red gift bag.
Wind chimes tinkle musically when you enter the building. You’re greeted by a curly haired woman from behind the reception, her eyes lighting up.
“Oh my goodness, Jaehyun—hi! What a lovely surprise!” She clasps her palms together, making her way to stand in front of you two, welcoming the younger man with a motherly embrace.
“Hi, Mrs. Davis,” he politely greets back. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, well, I’ve been extra busy these days. Loads of people are adopting our puppies. What about you? How’s work?”
“It’s been hectic recently,” Jaehyun admits but makes no indication in his expressions that he’s pressured or exhausted. Turning to you, he introduces, “Oh, uh, Mrs. Davis, I’d like you to meet Y/N.”
The older woman jovially grins as she shakes your hand and greets you warmly. “Hi, Y/N. I’m Sally. I’m the one who runs this animal shelter.”
Returning the gesture, you smile sociably. “Hi, it’s so nice to meet you.”
She flits her gaze between you two and asks hospitably, “Would you kids like some coffee or tea? Or maybe some biscuits?”
Shaking your head with a mannerly smile, you utter, “I’m okay, thank you.”
She asks, brow slightly rising, “Jaehyun?”
“I’m also good, thanks,” he says genially, waving his hands in refusal.
“Alright. Let me go and get Maisie then. I’m sure she’ll be so pleased to see you.”
When you’re both alone in the lobby, he tells you that Maisie is Mrs. Davis’ daughter. They grew close while he volunteered here and it warmed your heart when he said that they’re like family to him.
A voice excitedly calls Jaehyun’s name, grabbing both of your attention. When you turn around, you see a little girl with an overflowing amount of energy bolting quickly.
“Hi, Maisie,” he greets when she’s in front of him. He bends down to her height, squeezing her into a hug.
The girl with the pigtails, wearing a yellow dress with a ribbon in the middle grins enormously when he raises his palm for a high five. With a sunny disposition, she goes for it, their palms making a loud slap before she giggles in sync with Jaehyun.
“Did you miss me?” he asks, his gaze soft as he squishes her cheek affectionately.
Maisie nods, her lips jutted out in a pout, the baby fat in her cheeks making her look so precious and wholesome.
Jaehyun holds out the gift bag and waves it in front of her. “I have something for you.”
The little girl’s mouth shapes into an O as a gasp erupts out of her. She embraces the gift bag, clinging onto it and swaying it, making him chuckle before he earnestly wishes her a happy birthday.
With eager hands, she’s instantly unravelling her present, exclaims gleefully once she finds a jacket. Sliding it out from the bag, she raises it up and clutches it into her chest, hopping like a bunny. “It’s green!”
It’s her favorite color and seeing her smooth and touch the cotton material of the item makes Jaehyun smile satisfactorily. “You wanna try it on?”
Bobbing her head yes, he helps her as he holds the jacket while she slips her arms in. She twirls cutely once she’s wearing it over her dress, the outerwear perfectly fitting her frame.
“You look very nice, sweetie.”
“Thank you, Jaehyun,” she beams widely.
Her innocence makes your heart swell with nostalgia, missing your childhood years and how it’s so simple and carefree back then. Observing them, you couldn’t help but grin too, the sight tugging on your heartstrings in the best possible way. Jaehyun being excellent with kids is so refreshing to see. Most of the guys you dated in the past were awkward and stiff when they met your nieces, nephews or little cousins but Jaehyun is different—he’s natural and patient.
“You’re welcome, kiddo,” he says, bopping her button nose. “Oh, by the way. Maisie, this is Y/N.”
Stooping down, you wave at her. “Hi, Maisie. Happy birthday,” you greet.
She smiles adorably. “Thank you, Y/N.”
“How old are you today?”
“I’m seven,” she punctuates proudly and confidently, showing you through her fingers. “Are you Jaehyun’s girlfriend?”
Flustered, you stumble awkwardly, “Oh, uh…”
Technically, you’re not his girlfriend—you’re more than that. If you were to look at it objectively, keeping the facts straight, you are his fiancée. You’re an engaged couple going on dates so yes, you are a couple who are entangled with one another through this dating phase. It’s complicated, really.
The apple of his cheeks flushing with crimson, he clears his throat before answering for you. “She’s a… friend.”
“But she’s a girl and she’s your friend so wouldn’t she be your girlfriend?”
Scrunching his nose and gnawing down on his lower lip as though to contain a grin, Jaehyun impishly ruffles the top of her hair. “I guess you’re right,” he says, nodding. “Y/N is my girlfriend.”
Your insides begin to flutter and your face feels like it’s aflame, the thumping of your heart deafening your ears.
“You’re so pretty, Y/N,” she says, her eyes curving first before a smile descends on her lips after observing you in wonderment.
“Thank you, Maisie. I think you’re very pretty, too,” you tell her, thoughtfully pushing some of her strands away so it doesn’t block and poke her eye.
She turns to him. “Jaehyun, do you think Y/N is pretty?”
He spends his time staring at you as though he is in a daze. And when he gets back to her question, he nods, his eyes and lips smiling. “I think she’s the prettiest woman in the world.”
Before you can even manage to take a gulp to tame the stirring commotion of the butterflies in your belly, Maisie is already reaching for Jaehyun’s hand and yours, zealously pulling you both inside the building, presumably to the area where the dogs are. You pass by a hallway with empty cages until she opens a door and you’re taken to the back garden where a couple of dogs are flurrying about, excitedly barking and crowding when they see the three of you enter.
Instinctively gasping in surprise at the sight of dogs jumping, you grin and tend to a brown Labrador, gently stroking its fluffy head. Jaehyun bends down and pets a Terrier that stayed near his foot. “Hey, buddy,” he says, opening up his palm, the white canine obeying immediately and placing its paw on his hand. The lines of his dimples expands as he shakes the dog’s hand.
“His name is Snoopy,” Maisie informs beside you, patting the Labrador’s back softly, causing him to sit down, enjoying the attention placed on him. “He’s four years old.”
“Hi, Snoopy,” you coo, your heart turning into mush when he lifts his head up and looks at you, his tongue protruding out. Leaning, you embrace Snoopy, feeling like you could cry out of your bliss from being surrounded by these dogs.
Maisie tugs your shirt, offering to introduce you to the other pups and you let her, standing up and going further in the backyard. You whip your head, looking over your shoulder at Jaehyun who just grins at you, shooting a thumbs up while he plays with the Terrier that seems to have taken a liking to him.
The docile Snoopy follows you and Maisie as you meet the other dogs—there’s an energetic Cocker Spaniel named Goose, Rover, the black French bulldog and a tiny brown Chihuahua called Lily. Maisie plays with them happily, letting the dogs lick her cheeks as she chortles exuberantly.
Sitting down on the grass and crossing your legs, you let Lily settle down on your lap while you pet her quietly. Beside you, the bubbly little girl tells you all about the dogs, listing all their unique traits like how Rover has a little splodge of white on his chin or how Goose immediately falls asleep when a blanket is thrown over him.
Still near the entrance, Jaehyun stands up and crosses his arms, watching you bond with Maisie, giggling together as you let her show you the tricks that Goose can do. Copying her, you cheer and clap fervently when he submits to your command, proceeding to reward the dog with your praises and adoration, peppering him with your soft petting and some belly rubs.
As he looks at you, he realizes that one of his favorite things about you is your smile and laugh. It reminds him of the good memories he had with you in high school and how he didn’t mind looking like an absolute fool in front of your other classmates if it meant that you’d get to laugh.
Maisie’s mom comes to stand beside Jaehyun, watching you two become surrounded by the dogs, your glee filling you to the brim. “She makes you happy, doesn’t she?”
Feeling as though his heart is about to escape his chest and run towards you, he nods, eyes not prying away from the sight of you grinning and laughing heartily. “Yeah. She does.”
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Jaehyun doesn’t blame you for being completely overtaken by your exhaustion on the journey back home. It has been an eventful day, after all, with the early start and everything. Lowering the volume of the radio down, he makes sure to drive in a steady and comfortable way while you sleep.
“Y/N?” he says once he stops the car outside your place.
When you don’t flinch, only responding with your soft and even breathing, he tries again, leaning a bit forward, placing his hand on your shoulder. “Princess?”
Slowly blinking into full consciousness, you lift your head up, only to see Jaehyun’s face so close to you, his warm breath fanning the side of your neck.
“We’re here,” he says, almost coming out as a whisper before reclining back to his seat, breaking the contact away.
“Oh, uh, right,” you mumble, trying to get your bearings straight.
Taking your bag and unbuckling your seatbelt, you step out from the car, with Jaehyun walking you to your front door.
“So, I’ll see you on the third date?” he asks, rubbing the back of his head, making him look boyish.
“I feel like it’s always you bringing me to places,” you tell him, an idea striking you. “How about I pick where we’re going for the next date?”
“Sounds good to me.”
When he’s back in his car, Jaehyun takes his phone out. He views the photos from this morning, smiling as he selects his favorite one and sets it as his new lock screen.
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Y/N [8:43 pm]: do you like basketball?
Jaehyun [8:45 pm]: it’s my favorite sport
Jaehyun [8:46 pm]: as a matter of fact, you’re talking to a basketball star - michael JAEdan
Y/N [8:47 pm]: lmao ur such a dork
Y/N [8:47 pm]: anyways for our next date we’re going to a basketball game
Jaehyun [8:48 pm]: SERIOUSLY?? oh my god, i could kiss you right now
Jaehyun [8:49 pm]: bet ur smiling rn ;)
Y/N [8:51 pm]: get outttt
Jaehyun [8:52 pm]: hahaha
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If you were in a movie right now, you’d definitely be in a romcom. With matching hats, you and Jaehyun are seated in the middle of the stadium, cozied up against each other like those leads in chick flicks. (He insisted at the entrance in buying you a purple cap so you could match with him.)
“Hey, thanks for this,” he says, tucking a strand of hair gently to the back of your ear.
Your breath hitching for a second, you shoot him a smile, knowing what he means.
“Seriously, this is the best date ever,” he carries on. “I mean, I’m here with a girl that I like and I’m watching my favorite team play at the same time—man, I feel like I won the lottery.”
Shaking your head to control your lips from stretching into a foolish smile, you feel your cheeks heat up uncontrollably. Jaehyun grins and takes the opportunity to hold your hand, interlacing your fingers together as you continue on watching this intense ball game.
Your knowledge in basketball isn’t bad but it isn’t great either. Sure, you know about three-point shots, lay-ups and blocking but there’s still a lot of rules you don’t understand even when you watch it unfold in real time.
“Wait, so why does that guy get to shoot?” you ask, pointing ahead to the player of the opposing team.
“He committed a foul so he gets a free throw,” Jaehyun informs. He enlightens you with all the rules of basketball and the positions of players while you listen and nod attentively, trying to watch the game at the same time.
When the point guard shoots a score, the game continues, with them constantly running and passing the ball while blocking each other and defending. The crowd of avid fanatics are shouting feverishly when someone attempts to shoot from a far angle. And when they miss, the opponent grabs the ball and runs to the side of their court.
You actually understand what’s going on now, enjoying the power and the passion of it and looking up at the time they have before it runs out and they have to make a buzzer beater. Your eyes following the player who currently has the ball, you shout ‘travelling’ before anyone else.
“That’s my girl! Michael Jaedan taught her that!” he shouts, clapping his hands as he stands up, making you laugh.
The referee blows the whistle and calls a foul, gestures with his hand. Once he’s seated again, Jaehyun looks at you with the biggest smile, dimples and the canines on his teeth all on display as he spins your cap backwards before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. This feels comfortable, natural. He feels like he could be a constant.
Inching closer to him, you rest your head on his shoulder, nose almost touching his neck. He smells of lavender, reminiscent of the warmth and coziness of a home. The realization makes you sm—
“Ah!”
You yelp when the guy sitting on your right bumps his elbow on the food perched on the arm of his seat, spilling it on your lap. Standing up quickly, you gaze down, your jeans now stained with yellow and red from the sauces of his hotdog.
“Shit,” you mutter under your breath, looking at the man afterwards.
He meets your gaze and snorts before tending to the other lads that he’s with. “Fuck off, bitch.”
“Hey,” Jaehyun rises from his seat. “What did you just call her?”
Taking a sharp swallow, you hold his hand and slightly block him from moving forward and doing something. “Jae, just leave it. Let’s just go.”
With a tensed jaw, he eventually caves and nods at your insistence.
The bastard laughs with his friends as they watch you pass before them. “Man’s fuckin’ whipped by his bitch,” he remarks.
“Oh, hell no,” Jaehyun says, swivelling back and swinging his fist forward for one powerful jab, the man’s head lolling back, his nose bleeding in the aftermath. “You better watch your fucking mouth or your face isn’t the only thing I’m gonna break, asshole. Come on, Y/N.”
Passing the length of the aisle until you’re climbing back down the steps, you run hand in hand until you’re both outside.
In front of the venue, you’re both breathless from sprinting, with you leaning back against a wall. Jaehyun faces you, running his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just—I couldn’t let him talk to you like that,” he explains apologetically.
When you regard him with a knowing and reassuring smile, he couldn’t help but break into laughter too, watching you cackle freely, throwing your head back. The guy’s face when Jaehyun struck that punch was just so hilarious when it flashed through your mind again—he really wasn’t expecting it at all. Now, you’re not one to condone violence like this but you just can’t contain your laughter in. You both ran out of that place as though you were outlaws and rebels and it had adrenaline surging through your veins, making you feel infinitely alive, wild and audacious.
When the hilarity ebbs down, you look at each other, your chests rising and falling as a momentary silence embraces you two. His gaze roams between your eyes and lips and before you can even take your next blink, Jaehyun steps forward and places a peck on your cheek.
With your lips parted and your heartbeat thudding quickly, your eyes widen, a sudden rush coursing through your nerve wires. “Jae!”
He chortles cheekily and starts to back away and run while you chase him.
“Come here, you kiss stealer!” you holler, quickening your speed.
Jaehyun’s laughter ripples through his chest as he dashes to the parking lot with light steps, slowing down to let you catch up to him. When he twists round, you almost bump into him had you not stopped yourself. He pulls you closer to him, his hands wrapping around your waist, resting his palms on your back while he drinks all of your features in. The tips of your noses almost brushing, you swiftly press a smooch to his cheek.
“Now we’re even,” you tell him, holding the last word before breaking away from his embrace. While you walk to his car, your grin reaches your ears and your heart does cartwheels in your chest.
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Jaehyun [10:50 pm]: 
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Jaehyun [10:50 pm]: thank you for today. goodnight :)
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For date number four, which happened to be in the same week as date number three, Jaehyun texted you an address and asked you to meet him there.
After walking around downtown, you arrive in front of a building a few minutes just after three. Craning your neck upwards, you stare at the towering building, wondering why Jaehyun chose this exact location. From the looks of it, it’s a typical, corporate building designed to have offices in it.
When there’s a gentle tap on your shoulder, you turn around and see him. He’s dressed down in blue jeans, a hazel-colored jacket thrown over his white shirt, looking devastatingly handsome with his brown locks slightly parted. “Hey,” he greets.
“Hey,” you echo, smiling at him. “So where are we going today?”
“We’re going to my favorite café,” Jaehyun reveals, pushing the door open for you, letting you enter first like the gentleman that he is.
“There’s a café here?” you ask, brows wrinkled as you follow him to the elevator.
“Yeah. There’s also a bookstore here,” he says, pressing the highest floor button before the door slides close.
When you reach your destination, you pass by a long hallway before you see a glass door. Inside, there are wooden tables and chairs, with people sitting and having coffee. The walls are splashed in warm tones. Some leafy plants are situated in the middle, adding to the organic and natural aura of the shop. There’s also a space outside where people can opt to sit down and have their drinks, the balcony railing the only thing separating them from the view. With a high altitude, the city skyline is visible. Once again, astonishment laces your expression as you enter the place, wondering how Jaehyun came to know about this space.
“I love the vibes of this place the most,” he says while queueing up with you.
“It’s nice,” you tell him, scanning your gaze around, seeing how the consumers all have a smile on their faces, expressions and body language relaxed.
“Hey, you wanna share a cake?” he offers as you turn back to face him.
“Sure,” you say, eyes travelling up to the menu board, looking at the selection of their cakes.
“You can pick,” he nods at you, advancing forward when the person in front of you moves. “And don’t worry about paying, princess. It’s all on me,” he adds, smoothly dropping a wink.
Returning with a grateful grin, you check the board again, humming thoughtfully. “Should we go for a cheesecake?” you suggest.
“Sure.”
Once you’re both at the till, he lets you recite your coffee order first before he takes his turn, adding the cheesecake afterwards. After he finishes paying and gets his receipt, you make your way to the side to grab a few napkins and some confectionary and cutleries before heading to a vacant table just in the middle.
When you’re both sat down, you finally let yourself observe this place properly. It’s definitely refreshing and youthful, with its decorations and all. From the abstract, colorful paintings placed on the walls to the hanging plants on the ceiling down to the pretty flower vases on each table, you can see why Jaehyun loves the chilled atmosphere of this café.
It doesn’t take long before a server comes to deliver your coffees and your cake. Jaehyun decided on an iced latte while you went for a flat white. After you both express your gratitude, you take out your phone from your pocket and open your camera.
He watches you take a snap of the scrumptious dessert as he drinks his iced coffee. Levelling your camera up, you face him. “Hey. Look at me for a sec.”
He quirks a brow up once he sees your phone’s position, quickly catching on. “Am I going on your Instagram?”
With a sheepish smile, your thumb hovers on the screen, adjusting the brightness so he’s not overshadowed by the light from behind him. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
Jaehyun flashes his dimpled grin at you. “I’m just honored.”
“As you should be,” you giggle before finally taking a few photos. Jaehyun looks at the camera and gives a few poses, bringing up his cup to his lips. He peers his eyes to the side for a candid shot. “That’s good,” you announce, dropping your phone back down once you’re satisfied.
“I like that one,” he points to the second one as you show him the strings of images, following your fingers as it swipes to the right.
You nod, smiling as you lean back on your chair and open Instagram. Selecting the photo, you decide to go for a simple, witty caption before tagging his username and hitting the post button.
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This prompts him to bring out his own phone, opening the app and viewing your post. With the edges of his lips twitching upwards, Jaehyun keys in a comment: you’re welcome, brew-tiful ☺️
Lifting your head up after seeing the reply, you look at him with a grin. “Punny.”
He laughs before permanently putting his device away and grabbing a fork, slicing a small bit of the cheesecake and having the first taste.
“How is it?” you venture while getting your own cutlery and cutting yourself a piece.
He moans in satisfaction, chewing endearingly as he nods. “It’s so good.”
After shoving a forkful of the cheesecake with graham crackers in the bottom layer in your mouth, you automatically release a pleasured hum. The rich and light cream filling melts perfectly in your tongue while the crusty bottom layer is crumbly and has that maillard-y flavor that adds to the sweetness.
Minutes pass by comfortably, with you and him talking about your days over coffee and food. Stories are exchanged and smiles are sent to each other whenever you meet each other’s eyes and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart flutters within your chest, the way warmth would travel to your face and would stay there.
“We should play a game,” Jaehyun suggests before finishing off his iced latte.
“What do you have in mind?”
He licks his lips. “Twenty questions.”
“Okay.”
Gently shaking his cup and playing with the ice cubes in it, he tips his head to nod at you. “You go first.”
Leaning forward, you rest your chin on your palm. “Would you rather time travel to the past or to the future?”
“Wow. You’re really going for it,” Jaehyun remarks with a light chuckle as he places his cup back on the table.
“Of course,” you smile. It’s a question you often think about and you’re interested in knowing what he has to say.
His bottom lip slightly juts out for a contemplative pout. “Go back to the past,” he returns resolutely, folding his arms.
“Really? You don’t want to see if we have flying cars or robots as presidents?” you ask invitingly, mouth moulding into a frisky smile.
“Nope,” Jaehyun shakes his head. “I want to keep the mystery alive.”
It’s interesting how his answer contradicts with yours. Since the future holds a lot of possibilities and contains the unknown and the uncertain, you’d much rather see and visit it to sate your curiosity and have some of your questions answered.
“Fair enough. Your turn,” you nod back.
Jaehyun studies your expression for a moment before he drops his first question. “What are your views on arranged marriages?”
This, you are not expecting. It’s not how you feel about being in an arranged marriage with him, but how you feel about the whole tradition in general.  
“I think I’ve always regarded it as a negative thing because of the lack of choice,” you tell him after a pregnant pause. “But over time, I learned how to weigh the positives along with the negatives,” you continue, reclining back on your chair. “Arranged marriages means that you get to learn about your partner as you go along. It’s just like dating—the only difference is that label.”
Jaehyun regards you with a neutral expression, blinking as he listens attentively. He watches you as your gaze falls to your palms.
“My parents were arranged too,” you say, looking back up at him, “and all I can think about whenever I see them is that love takes time. It doesn’t come easily but it does come eventually. It made me realize that love takes work. It takes two people to make a marriage and a partnership work.”
“It’s like being in a team,” he muses pensively.
“Exactly,” you agree. “As players, you’re both different but you’re working towards the same goal. And I guess that’s one of the keys for a long-lasting relationship.”
“But then, being in love and being married is different,” he says after a few seconds as though he is in a trance, ingesting your words in.
“That’s right,” you nod. “They are different. But maybe that’s why people are put into arranged marriages. So you can eventually combine those two.”
He flashes a small smile. “Your turn.”
“Friendship or love?”
His brows crease, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, that’s hard.”
“Doesn’t have to be,” you shrug.
“Love,” Jaehyun articulates softly, his eyes pressed on yours.
Your insides flutter when he flicks his gaze between your eyes and lips. Swallowing awkwardly, you offer an accepting nod at his answer.
When it’s his turn, he taps his chin as he hums thoughtfully. “Do you see yourself having kids in the future?”
“Yes,” you confirm with a nod. When it’s your turn, you decide to take a different route, keeping it easy, light and playful just to toy with him. “Would you rather have bananas for fingers or bananas for toes?”
“What?” Jaehyun breaks into a laugh, the light of dusk from outside kissing his skin, making him luminesce. If the golden hour of the day is a person, it’d be him. “What would that even look like?”
“You literally have bananas as your fingers or toes.”
He opens his palms up and observes his fingers, his laughter vibrating louder through his chest as he mentally registers the shocking image. You watch him as an irrepressible smile shapes on your lips.
In the end, you spend two hours getting to know one another through the questions you would fire. While the direction of your questions so far is philosophical, deep and serious, meant to permeate his mind, his is all about the now and the future. The practicality of it is meant to get to know you, to consider you as he asks about your idea of a perfect vacation or your pet peeves.
You laugh together and share things with each other as though the world outside and around you don’t exist, as though it’s high school all over again and the only thing that mattered was your friendship with him. And the more you get to know these little pieces of him, the thinner the line between love and hate becomes.
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Y/N [7:05 pm]: so. what have you got planned for our last date?
Jaehyun [7:10 pm]: you can pick this time
Y/N [7:15 pm]: hm. okay.
Y/N [7:20 pm]: there’s this new space museum that just opened. you wanna go and check it out tomorrow? :)
Jaehyun [7:30 pm]: sure
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Jaehyun [8:00 am]: hey. can we take a rain check? i have a hearing all afternoon.
Y/N [8:10 am]: okay. are you free tomorrow?
Jaehyun [9:30 am]: yup. we can go tomorrow.
Y/N [9:42 am]: cool! good luck on your hearing.
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Jaehyun [10:27 am]: hey, y/n. i’m sorry but can we reschedule again? this japanese client wants to go over his case with me tonight.
Y/N [10:42 am]: fine. reschedule for when?
Jaehyun [11:40 am]: thursday?
Y/N [11:50 am]: okay.
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It’s now the fourth week. There’s two days left before the deal ends. Before it officially becomes a month ever since your first meeting with him, since you signed the contracts with him and took on his proposal to let him win your heart.
It’s Wednesday evening and you’re sitting down on your couch while absentmindedly staring at your TV which has the news on. You chug the remainder of your soda and set the can back down on the surface before you decide to grab something from the drawer underneath the table. Taking out a photo album consisting of your memories, you begin to brace yourself before embarking on a trip down to memory lane.
Your childhood pictures with Jaehyun are pasted in the first few pages. Your eyes land on that photo of you two in your Halloween costumes. Six-year-old Jaehyun went as a vampire while you dressed up as a witch. You remember how your mothers eagerly took a hundred pictures that night. Feeling the sides of your lips curve up nostalgically, you flip to the next page. There’s a jump shot image of a much older version of you and Jaehyun. It was when your geography class went on a one-day excursion to the seaside and you recall how he made everyone laugh when he started imitating a seagull.
Your gaze then drops on a photo of you that Jaehyun took in freshman year. You posed with your medal after you had just won a debate competition. Next to it is a photo of you two on the same day. He’d gotten much taller during that time and the height difference had become apparent as he placed himself on your back and nestled his chin on your head while he grinned at the camera.
When you turned over to the next page, an object suddenly slides down, creating a slight thud on the floor. Gazing down at the dropped item, you pick it up, surprise washing over you as you realize what it is. It’s your friendship bracelet with Jaehyun. The summer before high school officially commenced, you remember hanging out with him at his house and the next thing you know, you were crafting bracelets together.
Putting the photo album to the side, you lean back on the sofa and stare at the bracelet made with purple and blue strings, thumb rotating the bead with a yellow star drawn on it. Screwing your eyes shut, you breathe slowly, finally letting yourself remember the exact moment during high school where everything went wrong between you and Jaehyun, where your hatred for him originated.
During that day, you had been waiting for Jaehyun at the school gate so you can walk home together. It had been over ten minutes and there was still no sight of him, your worry and impatience heightening. When you saw Calum coming out of the front entrance, you decided to go up to him to ask for his whereabouts.
“Hey, Calum.”
He lifted his head up when you stood in front of him, removing one of his earphones. “Hey, Y/N. What’s up?”
“Have you seen Jaehyun?”
“Yeah. He’s in the locker room,” he revealed.
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” you said, running back inside.
Making your way to the right and passing a long hallway of classrooms, you finally entered the boys’ locker room. Walking to the far end in the hopes of finding Jaehyun, you came to a stop when you heard voices.
“Dude, Kate is hot,” someone voiced out. It was Dylan, you recognized. If he was there, you were sure that the other members of his posse would be present. You found it odd as to why Jaehyun was there with them since he didn’t normally hang out with those guys.
“Yeah, but have you seen Taylor’s ass?” Luke contested. “I’d bang her a thousand times before I’d bang Kate.”
Dylan pointed, “I don’t think Kate would want to bother coming to the formal with a date though. She always goes on about how she doesn’t need a man in her life and all that feminist shit.”
Carter hummed. “Okay, so I guess I won’t ask Kate to the formal. What about Y/N?”
Your grip on the blue binder that you were carrying tightened as your eyes widened and your pulse accelerated after you heard your name.
“Oh, man,” Dylan said emphatically. “Y/N is stunning.”
“She has this whole girl next door thing going on for her and it’s super fucking hot, if you ask me,” Luke pronounced. “If I were to rank all four of them, I’d actually put Y/N on top.”
“Really? You think she’s hotter than Hannah?” Dylan questioned.
“Fuck yeah. She’s ten times hotter than her.”
“Let’s ask Jaehyun.” Dylan suggested. “Hey, Jae. Do you think Y/N’s hotter than Hannah?”
“I…” Jaehyun spoke for the first time. “Uh...”
Luke tittered. “He’d probably think so since he’s head over heels for his best friend.”
Dylan laughed. “Right.”
“I’m not,” Jaehyun said abruptly. “I don’t like Y/N like that. She’s not even my ideal type.”
“Really?” Carter asked.
“Yeah, she’s not the kind of girl I would date,” Jaehyun added. “Hannah,” he stated. “Hannah’s hotter than Y/N.”
“So you’d rather fuck Hannah?”
“Yeah. Definitely,” Jaehyun affirmed.
And that was it. That was the breaking point.
After hearing Jaehyun spew those words, you quietly slipped out and sprinted to the girls’ bathroom, going inside a cubicle to cry. Earlier that day, during lunch time, Taylor had mentioned that Jaehyun only saw you as a friend and how if he was interested in you, then he would’ve asked you out already. Now, you got your confirmation. He only saw you as a friend and he didn’t feel that way about you.
The walls felt suffocating as you sobbed, the air oppressive and asphyxiating as you desperately tried to push away those exact words out of your conscious. It proved impossible to do so because those words had been so strong and overpowering. They kicked you down until you felt like you were shrinking smaller into something meaningless and worthless. With shaky hands and a clogged nose, you wiped your tears exasperatedly, controlled your breathing and convinced yourself to get your shit together. Taking out your phone, you called your mom and asked her to pick you up. When you refused to tell her about what happened with Jaehyun, she took the hint and just left it.
Fluttering your eyes open and bringing yourself back into the now, you take your phone out to look at your latest conversation with Jaehyun.
Jaehyun [6:15 pm]: hey. i’m so sorry to do this again but work’s been crazy and i have to attend a conference all day tomorrow. can we go another time?
Y/N [6:20 pm]: seriously?
This is the third time he’s cancelled on you. He hasn’t even replied to your message. The first time he called it off, you understood. But to cancel on you three times in a row—he’s certainly sending a message to you.
You try to think for a logical explanation for the suddenness of his actions. What, so Jaehyun’s just going to stop and not finish the deal? Are you just meant to get the hint? Are you not good enough for him? Not attractive enough? Did it dawn on him that you’ll never fit his ideal type? That he can’t actually learn to like you? Is he letting your relationship go back to square one where you’re both dichotomized again?
He offered you four weeks to take you out on dates. He’s the one who said so himself that life is all about taking risks. Both of you took a chance and started fresh, buried your animosities for each other for this deal.
Jung Jaehyun asked for four weeks and he better give you four weeks. You’re not having this silent treatment. Not after he made you smile and laugh. Not after he made your heart flutter, made you feel like you’re important and treated you with respect and affection. He can’t just kiss you like that and suddenly act as though you’re a stranger to him.
After sending a quick text to your mother asking for his address, you skedaddle to your bedroom to get dressed. You’re barely thinking as you hastily slip on some jeans and a shirt. Grabbing your phone and keys, you head outside to your car. Once you receive a reply, you key it in quickly on your satnav.
When you arrive at his apartment complex after a ten-minute drive, you make your way to the elevator, pressing the fifth-floor button. Immediately finding his unit, you press on the doorbell.
With your arms folded, your foot taps the floor impatiently. After a few moments, Jaehyun opens the door, eyes widening slightly when he sees you. “Y/N,” he says, swallowing subtly. “What are you doing here?”
“What is going on with you?” you go straight to the point and ask, uncrossing your arms as you glare at him. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“What?”
“You take me out on dates and then you suddenly disappear on me. You barely talked to me after our last date.” Making your way inside his apartment, you demand, “Explain yourself, Jung.”
Heaving a sigh, he closes his door and faces you. “I…” he starts, voice low as he runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I really was swamped with work when I cancelled on you. As for not talking to you… well, I… okay, I know it’s not the smartest move but I only did that because I didn’t want our last date to happen. I didn’t want the deal to end just yet.”
“What? Are you crazy?” you yell. “Aren’t you the one who asked me for four weeks?”
“That’s the thing,” he punctuates, desperation embracing his features and his register. “I know I brought the whole thing up but the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that I need more than four weeks.”
When you stare at him with a befuddled expression, he presses on, trying to make you understand his intentions. “I need more time to think and plan because I was scared that you weren’t feeling anything for me. I… I didn’t want you to decide just yet.”
Blinking, you take all of his words in. Folding your arms, you iterate with a raised brow, “You don’t want me to give you a decision so what, you’re just not gonna give me the chance to decide at all? You’re just gonna push me away?”
“I…” he says, stopping to take a sigh. “Okay, I know I don’t have it all worked out but I wanted you to see that I’m not just an obligation. I wanted you to see that I can be your choice for this marriage. I wanted you to choose me because I’ve already chosen you. It’s always been you, Y/N. Ever since high school.”
The hammering of your heart within your chest is deafening and palpable as he talks about the past and the present. It’s as though you can taste an amalgamation of bitter and sweet.
His gaze descends to the floor for a second, shaking his head as he tries to compose and articulate his consequent words properly. “I just,” he pauses. “I needed more time for you to see the real me. To make you see that I’m not just that person you painted in your head. I can be everything that you want me to be, everything that you need me to be. I wanna prove to you that I can be someone that you deserve.”
At your silence, Jaehyun gnaws on his bottom lip before he lets out his feelings. “I also used to think that being in an arranged marriage meant that choice and freedom would be stripped away from us but after spending time with you, I realized that we actually do have a choice. We have a choice to get to know one another, to fall in love and stay in love.”
With the steadfastness and the certainty of his words combined with the congregation of feelings that surges and sizzles inside you, you can barely blink and breathe in the process. It’s all overwhelming and the room feels crushing.
“Why did you say that I’m not your ideal type?” you burst out from the depths of your chest, bitterness edging on your voice. It’s about time you confront him about past wounds.
“What?” he asks, taken aback by your question.
“In the locker room. You said you didn’t like me and that I’m not the type of girl you’d date,” you remind him. Ever since the contract signing, all you could think about whenever you looked at him was that exact moment and his exact words.
Jaehyun blinks at you, stunned as he finally remembers the day you’re pinpointing to. “I—you heard that?”
Gritting your teeth, you nod, “I came to the locker room that day looking for you.”
When everything dawns on him clearly, his mouth gapes. It makes sense now as to why after that day, you stopped talking to him and pushed him away. Eventually, Jaehyun got the message and stopped trying. He spent his time resenting you after that and did everything he can to compete with you, argue with you and wind you up all while loving you.
“So that’s why you hated me?”
“Kind of hard not to after hearing all those things,” you say morosely.
“I only said that because I was mad at you,” Jaehyun reveals, the words coming out in one succession.
“What?”
“I got upset because you said that there’ll never be a chance for us to become more than friends. You said you didn’t like me and that I’d be the last person you’d date,” he discloses, expression all crestfallen as he recalls the certain memory.
Blinking up at him, your brows start to crease, staggered at his revelation. “What? When did I say that?”
“While you were talking to Kate and Taylor during lunch. I asked Taylor to find out what you thought about me. She told me everything.”
Kate and Taylor were your girl friends from high school. The former was the frank, sharp-mouthed one, the authoritative type who would not hesitate to tell the latter to break up with the guy she’s dating as an advice. Both of them had experiences in getting dressed up, they were used to being approached and asked out. Back then, you really didn’t care about relationships but sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel left out because you didn’t have any experience at all. It was difficult to listen to them talk about their adventures while you didn’t even have anything to boast about when it came to boys and dating.
The day that Jaehyun is referring to was the same day that your friendship with him fell apart. You remember sitting outside during lunch since it was a nice day. Kate was sat across you on the wooden bench table, eating her ham sandwich, with a book in front of her. Carefully, you held your own chicken wrap up and started to take a bite.
After a few minutes, Taylor suddenly came to join you, plopped down beside Kate and set her bag down. She had a scowl on her lips as she groaned.
Kate looked up from her book. “What’s wrong, Tay?”
“Boys are so stupid,” she declared with a frown.
Kate chuckled. “I couldn’t agree more.”
You nodded, giggling as you chewed quietly.
Finally, Taylor spilled her news. “Johnny totally blew me off after our first date.”
Brows creasing, you inquired, “Johnny? Isn’t he a senior?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know you went out with him?” you told her as surprise started to settle on your features.
“Yeah. We started texting after I met him at a house party. I honestly thought he was one of the good guys. Turns out he’s just like all of them. They would say they’ll call and then the next thing you know, they’re seeing another girl,” she grumbled. “Ugh. Can you believe? It’s like every guy at our high school is a player.”
“Hey, that’s not true,” Kate argued. “There are some good guys in this school.”
She cocked a brow up and crossed her arms. “Yeah? Like who?”
“Well,” Kate tapped her chin as she deliberated. “Just to name a few, there’s Jaehyun and Sicheng.”
At the mention of your best friend’s name, you couldn’t help but feel your heart suddenly jump in your chest. It was true. Jaehyun was one of the good guys. He wasn’t the type to treat girls like toys and attend those house parties that his peers went to. He preferred hanging out indoors, playing video games and watching movies with either you or Sicheng.
Taylor just hummed impassively while Kate suddenly pressed her gaze on you. “Hey,” she called, snapping you back into reality. “Jaehyun’s your best friend, right?”
“Yeah,” you nodded.
Taylor posed a curious question to continue the topic at hand. “Have you ever wondered if he likes you as more than a friend?”
Blinking dazedly, you stuttered as you responded. “Um, I… I don’t know. I guess I’ve never really thought about it.”
That was a lie because you have thought about it. A lot, actually. During that point in time, you recently began wondering whether Jaehyun sees you as more than a friend. Because sometimes, you couldn’t help but assume that there were feelings beneath all of his kind-hearted and gentlemanly actions towards you.
Once, during freshman year, he let you wear his jacket while you two walked home. When it started chucking it down heavily, you hurriedly brought out your umbrella from your bag.
“Where’s yours?” you turned to Jaehyun when you saw him emptyhanded.
He scooted closer to your side once you opened it up and shielded himself from the downpour. “I forgot it at home,” he admitted, taking it from you so he can hold it up for the two of you.
“Fuck, it’s cold,” you muttered and embraced yourself, shivering.
“Hold this for a sec,” he said, passing the umbrella to you temporarily as he unzipped his black hoodie. “Wear this,” he offered, leaving him with just his short-sleeved polo shirt on.
When you put his jacket on, the scent of his cologne lingered around, made your senses fuzzy as you came to a conclusion that his perfume had to be one of those strong ones, one that dads usually wore. Normally, you didn’t like those kinds of fragrances since it was too extreme but oddly, on him, you did.
And once, during sophomore year, Jaehyun made your heart skip a beat when he placed the same hoodie on your lap to cover your legs.
It was during the rehearsal for a school play. While everyone took a fifteen-minute break, you decided to sit on the floor, just by the left side of the stage. You brought out your iPod so you could listen and learn the song you had to perform and while you were focused, you hadn’t noticed when Jaehyun suddenly appeared beside you and gently dropped his jacket on your lap.
“What are you doing?” you asked as you took off your earphones, looking at him confusedly.
He scanned his surroundings before he returned his reprimanding stare on you. “Do you want pervs to see?” was what he quipped back, bobbing his head down to the direction of your skirt.
Jaehyun always looked out for you, he’d always been so caring towards you and it made you question. It often made you think about those particular days whenever you lied down on your bed at night. It made you think about the way his Adam’s apple would bob down after your gazes met, the way he would stare at your lips for a second before going back to your eyes and the way his warm touch made your breath come up to a standstill.
In your head, you laid out all the facts. You were his best friend and you happened to be a girl. Maybe he really didn’t see you that way because he already drew a line between the two of you. Besides, how could Jaehyun see you in a different light when you’re… you, his best friend ever since he was five?
Taylor started to braid her locks. “He probably only sees you as a friend, y’know,” she remarked.
Lowering your food down, you placed it back on your lunch box, suddenly losing appetite. The small slices of strawberries on your smaller container didn’t seem appealing anymore, the flatbread and chicken turned stale in your tongue.
Were you really just his friend or did he see you as someone who can be more than that? Have you been seeing his kindness towards you and thinking it was infatuation?
“Why would he…” you started before you cleared your throat. “What would make you think that?”
When she finished styling her hair, she looked at you squarely. “Well, because if he’s interested in you, he would’ve asked you out already. And besides, it’s too risky to date a best friend. When you break up, it’ll get messy and you’ll lose your friendship. So you either choose friendship or love.”
“It doesn’t have to end that way though if two people really love each other,” you said after you mulled over her words.
“True,” Kate agreed.
“Y/N,” Taylor crossed her arms and examined your sudden change in expression before asking bluntly, “do you like Jaehyun?”
At the unexpected question, you were rendered wordless, face heating up and pupils dilating.
Kate pointed out in addition, “Come to think of it, you guys do spend a lot of time together.”
“Right?” Taylor nodded at Kate, wiggling up her brows. “And I always see you staring at him.”
“Uh, I…” you murmured gauchely, words drying out in your throat.
Taylor giggled softly and nudged Kate’s arm. “Oh, no. Our Y/N is in the friendzone. Having an unrequited love with her best friend.”
“Aww,” Kate cooed softly.
“Jaehyun chose friendship with you but you chose love with him,” Taylor goaded. “That’s gotta be awkward.” You knew they were doing this on purpose, trying to incite something.
“No!” you blurted tersely, wanting for them to just drop the topic and move on quickly. “Guys, I don’t like Jaehyun, okay?”
“You sure?” Taylor asked.
“Yeah,” you said. “And even if he likes me, there would never be a chance for us to become more than friends because I won’t let that happen. Believe me, he’d be the last person I would date.”
“Huh. Okay then.” Taylor shrugged coolly and ended the conversation, fishing out an apple from her bag. Kate just nodded and went back to reading her book while you lowered your gaze on your unfinished food, finding it difficult to swallow afterwards.
After the memory flickered back in your mind, you wrinkle your brows and shake your head in frustration. Jaehyun just stares at you, confusion bleeding on his face.
“Oh my God,” you say after taking a mighty huff. Vouching again for confirmation, you ask, “That’s why you said all those things in the locker room?”
He nods, brows melting down in regret.
“I only said that because Kate and Taylor were teasing me. They said that I was in the friendzone with you so I snapped. I was all confused and I just wanted them to stop talking about it so I shut them down quickly. But you… you really thought that I never liked you?”
“I…” he says as though he’s still in a daze after his realizations. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I was just so upset that day but I swear, I didn’t mean all those things I said about you in the locker room. I didn’t know you were there and I… God,” he places his palm on his head, expression apologetic. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”
“So… you liked me back then?”
“Much more than like,” Jaehyun says, stepping forward to catch your hands, lacing his fingers with yours. “I was in love with you.”
“You—what?”
He nods, thumb rubbing the back of your palm. “I was madly in love with you,” he says, lips curling up slightly.
Holding his shoulders, you grumble, lips pouting. “But you were such an ass to me. You always pissed me off.”
He chuckles, all beautiful and bright as he caresses your cheek. “I only did that so you can notice me and talk to me.”
Shaking your head in disbelief, you roll out a soft laugh. “God, we’ve been so fucking stupid.”
So all throughout those years in high school, you both felt the same way for each other. And because of those events, the mutual affection and infatuation between you turned into mutual hatred and disdain.
“We really have, haven’t we?” Jaehyun lets out a chuckle to join you.
Encasing your arms around his neck, your fingers start to softly thread on the back of his head. “I can’t believe that all this time, I loved you and you loved me.”
“You… you love me?”
Nodding, you press your forehead against his and breathe with him. “Of course, I love you, Jung,” you laugh. “I’ve loved you ever since you imitated that seagull.”
Exhaling a soft giggle, his palms snake around your spine. He pulls back slightly so he can take a good look at you. “So, do you still need that last date to decide or…” he says, drawling out the last word before his tongue swirls on his bottom lip.
“Or…” you start with a provocative lilt, gaze flitting between his mouth and eyes.
Before you can even blink, the gap is closed and his lips are crashing into yours just like how the wave finally hits the shore, letting you both feel enraptured in the aftermath. Sparks of desire explode in the pits of your stomach as you wind your fingers on the back of his head, savoring the feel of his pillowy lips on yours. Slanting your head, he gladly opens your mouth, tongue exploring the caverns as he swallows your moans, claiming it as his own. The kiss is hot, all tongues and teeth, filled with need and want. Only when you’re both out of breath do you break away and he doesn’t waste another second to fixate his lips on the side of your neck.
Your breathing is jarred when he walks you back to his kitchen, mind all fuzzy and lips only emitting soft moans when he squeezes your ass. Your back hits a cold, hard surface and Jaehyun is quickly hoisting you up on the mini bar. Burying his nose just below your chin, he groans, “Shit, how do you always smell so good?”
“Lancôme,” you manage to utter, a gasp immediately being pulled out of your throat when he nips at the skin. He is quick to soothe the area with his tongue and you cup his face, dipping down again to kiss him, teeth tugging on his bottom lip.
His solid hands slither underneath your shirt, feeling up your back, fingers hovering on the clasp of your bra. You pull back to help him yank it upwards until you’re half naked in front of him. “Fuck,” he inhales sharply as he stares at you hungrily, “you’re a work of art.”
Lunging forward, he sucks on the base of your throat, tongue travelling on your jawline, hands cupping your breasts, pads of his thumbs tweaking circles on your pebbled nipples through your bra. When you moan softly at the sensation, he smirks, placing kisses on your collarbone, mouth suctioning roughly on the skin.
“Jaehyun,” you breathe when his hands are rubbing on your thighs and his lips are on the shell of your ear. Hearing his name tumble out of your lips while your hands are all over each other is like music to his ears. Your voice alone could dangerously make him come in his pants.
“God, do you know how hard I was after you kissed me?” he rasps, the tips of his fingernails motioning teasingly on your stomach, your arms breaking out with gooseflesh. He faces you, eyes hooded with darkness as he says in admittance, “I jerked myself off twice that night.”
This time, you’re making the first move while he stays still and breathes all of your visual in. You decide to pepper his jaw with slow kisses, hands palming the expanse of his broad chest, voyaging down to his crotch. Against your touch, he feels huge and hard. Lowering your voice, you ghost over the shell of his ear. “What did you think about when you touched yourself?”
“I thought about,” he draws a sharp intake of breath when you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him to you, your lips assaulting the place where neck meets shoulders, “your hand stroking my cock.”
Tending to the noticeable dent in his sweatpants, you begin fondling his clothed erection. “Mmmh,” you hum. “What else?”
All the blood is running down to the tip of his extremities and he grits his teeth. Fuck, you’re really good at this. What more when you suck him off? God, you’re probably amazing at giving head with the way you’re working on his cock with your hand right now. “Your mouth wrapped around me as you take me in deep,” he groans with a grit to his voice, his breathing ragged. “Thought about your pussy, so wet and warm that my cock could just slide in easily. Thought about how pretty you’d look with my cum all over your face, your body.”
Your core pools with more heat, arousal increasing tenfold at his revelation, flaring wildly in your stomach. Pulling back to look at him, you demand, “Tell me what you want from me. Tell me what gets you off.”
“I usually like to fuck hard and rough,” he growls, holding your thighs and squeezing them, lips going on the skin under your jaw. “I like it when I hear you scream my name, when you make a mess on the sheets. I like seeing my marks on you.” His tongue trails a line to your ear, playfully tugging on the lobe as he groans needily. “I want you to feel my cock buried deep inside you, want to see my cum dripping down your pussy while you’re all sore.”
Hissing harshly, your core vibrates with need and you decide you can’t wait any longer. “I want you to fuck me now,” you punctuate sharply and determinedly, a broken exhale escaping your mouth. “You can come wherever you want.”
Wetting his lips, he steps back and darkens. “Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off,” he nods upwards. Obliging, you hop off the counter, unclasping your bra on the way and tossing it to the side once you’re in his room. You wiggle yourself out of your jeans, sitting on the edge of his bed. Fingers on the bands of your panties, Jaehyun manages to quickly enter and tower over you, stopping your hands, “Let me do that.”
Sliding down your underwear in one motion, he discards the article impatiently, hurling it to the side. Scooting to the headboard, you lie down and he crawls forward, a devilish smirk splayed on his lips. “So, so pretty,” he praises, placing kisses on your inner thighs, his hot breath looming on your entrance.
“Jae, please,” you whine as though you’re about to go insane, desperation coating your expression. He chuckles darkly at the fact that you sound like the world’s mellowest porn star right now.
“Such a needy little thing,” he says, large hands pinning your thighs down and spreading you apart. The sight of your sopping core is enough to make his dick twitch in his pants, needing for some friction. “Fuck,” he grunts, register all low and deep. “This all for me, baby?”
When you give a nod, his lips curl up for a satisfied smirk before his fingers are finally on your sex, collecting your slick juices and sucking on his digits for a taste. Diving in, his nose is in your cunt, tongue exploring you. He licks a bold stripe of your folds and your breath staggers in rhythm as he laps on your pussy. Sporadically, he looks up at you, watching you writhe underneath him, feeling satisfied at the low moans coming out of your swollen lips. It encourages him to experiment with his ministrations, speeding and slowing while his tongue is submerged inside you, thumbing on your clit.
The coil in your stomach tightens, your toes curling, thigh muscles tautening the more Jaehyun eats you out. Your fingers are on his roots, pulling it tightly as your walls flutter around him. At the skills of his fingers and tongue on your clit, you’re rendered a whimpering mess. God, he could just listen to your moans all night long and he could just go down on you every single day. With your eyes fluttered shut, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip and your hips desperately moving up, you look absolutely exquisite right now. He knew you’d look this way while he devoured you, he often fantasized about this image, imagined that you’d be sweet and he’s right.
“You taste as good as you look,” Jaehyun mutters, looking up at you as he massages your mound, finger pumping into you, curling and hitting your sweet spots. His lips are glistening with your juices when he makes eye contact with you. The saliva from his mouth trickling down to your pussy makes you feel more aroused, your walls clenching on his digit as heat travels everywhere on your skin.
Licking his lips clean, it’s then that he decides to tend to his own wants. He needs to fuck you now; his length is dying to be deep inside you. Withdrawing his finger from your sex, he sits up on the bed and you whine frustratingly at the loss of friction to your pussy. He discards everything—his shirt, sweats and his Calvin Klein boxers—until he’s all bare in front of you, cock slapping on his abdomen. His tip is angry red and leaking with his arousal. He pumps his length to prep himself, thumb flicking on the head to spread his pre-cum out. His palms are on the side of your head to steady himself and he goes to attack your lips. Sharing a heated, filthy kiss and exchanging breaths, he angles himself, his tip sliding up and down your slit to collect your dampness.
Easily, he glides in, the intrusion stretching your walls out deliciously. A gasp is automatically careened off of you as you arch your back. “Shit, you’re big—wait,” you grab onto his shoulders.
Jaehyun lets you adjust, presses a kiss to your cheek before mumbling huskily to your ear, “Breathe for me, yeah?” When you do exhale and relax your muscles, he lauds you, pushing another inch in. He encourages you all the way as he sinks himself further, leaving the both of you moaning and gasping in pleasure until he finally bottoms out, perfectly seated inside you.
He pulls out, only the tip left inside your pussy before he begins thrusting, setting a slow pace before he jerks himself towards your center with calculated lunges. “Ah, fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans against the flesh of your shoulder, relishing in the way your pussy keeps on taking him every time he enters.
With a hard and brutal force, the combination of your moans is lewd, your breasts bouncing as he holds your thighs up for a better angle. Wrapping your legs around his back, Jaehyun rams into you vigorously. The room starts to feel stuffy, your head becoming light as the onslaught of pleasure travels quickly to every part of your body, a wildfire spreading through your nerves.
His nose nestled on the side of your neck as he sucks harshly for hickeys, your fingers find purchase on his back, nails digging on his skin, scratching hardly the more he drives powerfully into your cunt. “Jae,” you say softly, holding his shoulders to gather his attention.
Lifting his head, he faces you, pausing as he breathes heavily. “Is it too much?”
“No,” you tell him. “Can I ride you?”
With eyes blown wide in lust, he’s eagerly nodding. “Shit, yeah,” he says, voice dropping another tenor as he flips position, lying back on the bed, sitting up against the headboard. “C’mere, baby,” he taps his thighs and you sit yourself on his lap, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself before sinking into his cock.
With you in a straddled position, he guides you, hands secured on your waist as you grind on his length. Holding his shoulders, you set your own pace, your breathy, dulcet moans rolling off your parted lips. Starting off slow and steady as you relish in the sensation and in the sight of your bodies merging together, he takes the opportunity to launch his lips on your hardened bud, his tongue laving on it while his free hand cups your other breast, his thumb and index finger flicking on the nipple, eliciting a gasp out of you. He makes sure to alternate between breasts, wrapping your buds with his hot tongue and sucking intently.
Stimulated, you’re starting to feel greedier, hungrier as you chase your climax. Your pace quickens and you’re bouncing down on his cock, unendingly moaning. “Fuck, you look so good. Can’t get enough of you,” Jaehyun groans. He swipes some strands of your hair that have stuck on your skin away to the side. “Think about you riding me all the time.”
His palms slide up from your hips to your hot cheeks, cupping them and pulling your lips in to meet with his, drinking all your moans wholeheartedly. With this palpitating and melting kiss and the way his hands squeeze your breasts, fingers playing with your buds, your high is practically tactile, threatening to flood you.
Squeaking your moans out, your walls clench greedily on his cock and you’re tipping over the edge. “Fuck, I’m so… close… God...” you choke out your pleasure.
He holds your ass, squeezing them as he pushes you deeper onto him. “Come for me, princess,” he commands titillatingly, looking at your expression, all intoxicated by your lust. “Bet you’re fucking pretty when you come,” he says near your ear when you lean for an embrace, riding him like there’s no tomorrow.
“Jae, I’m gonna—fuck,” you screech out, your pants all strangled in rhythm. Everything in you snaps and your entire body shudders as you reach your peak. Throwing your head back and screwing your eyes shut, all you see is white. Your pace slowing down as you come down from your high, your head rests on his shoulder.
It takes you a few moments to recover and catch air into your lungs, your breathing evening out eventually. When you open your eyes and lift your head up, the smile you send him is lopsided. Dropping your lips to his for a languid kiss, he buckles his hips up and thrusts in your pussy, making you realize that he hasn’t climaxed yet. Encouraging him, you’re raking your fingers through his hair as you kiss the jut of his jaw. “Come inside me. Wanna feel you in me,” you tell him sultrily. You’re on the pill so you’re good.
He flips you over until you’re lying on the bed and he’s on top again. With a new angle, he’s rutting his hips into yours with a purpose. The slaps are sharp, powerful and lecherous, your chests brushing together with every pound of his cock. Jaehyun’s lips find your collarbone, leaving wet kisses on the skin and possessively carving marks on it, releasing it with a long pop every time.
He’s fucking you like a madman, revelling in the way your walls keep on contracting around him insatiably, in the way your breasts jump up, in the purple bruises that starts to appear from the iron-clad grip he has on your hips.
The familiar coiling sensation in your stomach is reignited again as he sinfully thrusts into you over and over. With loud moans, he decides to capture your lips for a kiss, his hand snaking downwards to knead on your swelled nub. “Jaehyun, I’m…” you cry out when he breaks the kiss and his lips are latching on the lobe of your ear. While you’re on the precipice of your orgasm, his thumb circles on your clit, pressing on it as ripples of your pleasure jump out from your lips.
“That’s it, baby,” he coaxes, the gruffness of his voice vibrating on your skin. “Come for me again like a good girl.”
You’re unable to suppress it any longer, your second orgasm washing all over you, a stronger force than the first one. Your voice is broken, panting heavily as you reach your bliss. Grabbing your legs and placing it over his shoulders, he fucks you through it, hitting your g-spot, your low whimpers driving him faster to his climax.
While the overstimulation has your eyes watering, Jaehyun, on the other, is teetering on the edge of his release. Your pussy has such a tight grip on his cock and he knows he’s not going to last long. “I’m gonna fill you up so bad, princess,” he hisses lowly. “Gonna show you how fucking crazy you make me,” he groans, speeding his pace up. “I’m all yours from now on—completely and truly yours.”
Breathily, he sputters his profanities and moans as one hard thrust proves to be his undoing. His hips stuttering, he empties his load inside you, coating your walls with hot spurts of white. With faltered breaths, he grunts gutturally in his pleasure, his mind and body buzzing as his thrusts turn sloppier and slower. You milk him for every last drop of his seed and his body finally collapses on top of you when he’s finished, his cock falling limp and soft inside you.
With a euphoric grin, he drops a quick peck to your lips before pulling out and settling beside you. The combination of your fluids leaks out your folds, making a mess on his sheets. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he buries his nose in your hair. “I love you,” he murmurs with a smile.
With eyes closed, your heart swells at the fact that this guy is the one you’re spending the rest of your life with. Jaehyun is your best friend, the love of your life and your soulmate all in one and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than here beside him. “I love you, too,” you say, wholly delighted. “Now let me go so I can pee.”
Jaehyun laughs heartedly, releasing you as he watches you walk to his bathroom. He puts on his boxers and sweatpants back and takes something out from the drawer of his nightstand before he collects his shirt, kindly offering it to you when you return to the bedroom. Wearing only your underwear and his shirt to bed, you snuggle and cling back up to him, resting your head on his chest as he wraps his arm around you.
At that middle ground between falling asleep and staying awake, he holds your hand, raises it up with his, languorously playing by weaving your fingers together. You can’t help but giggle with him as you watch them twine together perfectly. He brings your hand closer to his lips, placing sweet kisses on each knuckle before he fishes for something in the pocket of his sweats.
Sitting up straight, Jaehyun faces you with the symbol of his unconditional love and promise nestled between his fingers. “I know it’s already been arranged and everything but let me do this properly,” he begins before he takes a deep inhale. “Y/N, will you marry me?”
Heart hammering right out of your chest, the rhythm of your breathing pauses before you’re widely grinning and answering with a million nods, your heart bursting and melting at the same time. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
The word slips out of your lips effortlessly as you repeat it over and over and he never thought that a three-letter word could make him this happy. Hearing it fall from your lips fills him with pure joy, feeling like he’s reached the apex of happiness. Cupping his face, you kiss him tenderly and sweetly, pressure all gentle with the both of you smiling against it. After you pull back, you let him slip the beautiful ring on your finger where it’d find its new home.
When you take a second to look at your hand, your lips curve upwards as you realize that maybe having your choices picked out for you by your parents isn’t that bad. Before, the future used to be terrifying. It had been this giant, ambiguous, abstract-shaped thing filled with unknowns and uncertainties which induced a great amount of fear on you. It’s still that to you but now, you’re less afraid. Now, you’re more confident to take a risk, knowing that you won’t regret it because you’re with Jaehyun.
Everything is less frightening because you know that you’ll always have each other’s backs, you’ll hold each other’s hand and you’ll go through everything together. With him, you’re at ease. And through him, you learned how to be hopeful, how to be emboldened.
The universe, you think, truly works in mysterious ways. It can toy with you but it can also present you with surprises such as bringing a certain person back into your life—a person who was already meant for you ever since the beginning, even before your names are written on a contract, even before you’re promised to one another.
When you fall asleep beside Jaehyun, you have a smile painted on your lips and a contented heart because you know that the future written out for the two of you is so, so bright.
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BONUS:
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yutaholic · a month ago
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no guidance (M)
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pairing: Jaehyun (NCT) + you (reader)
genre: knocked up; heavy at times but mostly humor; smut
word count: 19.8k (i am actually happy with this length)
summary: You insist on keeping things casual with Jaehyun, even though he wants something more serious, but then you miss a period and in an instant, your lives are turned completely upside down.
warnings: some cursing; lots of dialogue involving unplanned pregnancy; descriptions of childbirth; explicit sexual content
a/n: listening to no guidance (remix) by ayzha nyree; this is a one-shot, there will be no sequels; check the masterlist in my description for other one-shots in this collection; happy reading!
It’s complicated. That was always how you chose to describe your relationship with Jaehyun.
That being said, you were counting down the minutes until he knocked on your door. You had dragged your feet home after a long day of work and hopped into a hot shower, making sure your legs were freshly shaven for all the action you were about to get.
No sooner had you finished dressing and fixing your hair, there was an impatient knocking at your door and you opened it without hesitation, flirting, “Took you long enough.”
“Traffic is a bitch and speeding is a crime,” Jaehyun retorted, stepping inside and smashing his lips on yours.
You chuckled against his mouth as you threaded your fingers into his dark hair. Jaehyun kicked your door shut behind him and parted from you just long enough to lock it, giving you a brief opportunity to press the wettest of kisses to his neck.
Which did nothing but rile him up.
Not surprising, you didn’t even make it to the bed. Jaehyun hauled you onto the dresser, popped your legs around his waist and entered you with one slow thrust. You let your head fall back and moaned, half-naked with your skirt hiked around your ribs and your panties hanging from your ankle.
At some point in the messy race to your bedroom, you had managed to pull off Jaehyun’s white button-down shirt and he had borderline ripped your tank top. With a toss, your bra landed by the sofa, not far from his pants.
Jaehyun gripped the dresser on opposite sides of your hips and rammed his cock into your wet cunt, setting a hurried pace. His teeth clamped to the bridge of your shoulder, a measure to keep himself from moaning. Fuck, you always wrapped around him so tight.
You fisted a hand in his hair and groaned, “Fuck, Jay.” You loved when he was rough, loved when he just couldn’t hold back anymore. When Jaehyun made love to you, you were on some next level high, but when he fucked you, you swore you could see stars.
The dresser bumped against the wall loudly to a quicker rhythm and you found purchase on Jaehyun’s broad shoulders. Your breath was warm on his neck as you panted, holding him close to you. His pace was hard, but not jarring, and fast enough to steadily coax you toward the edge.
It tempted your lips into a smile; how accustomed your body was to his, how perfectly he fit against you - and inside you. Though years had passed since your first time with Jaehyun (when the two of you fumbled together like the pair of virgins you were), your heart still beat a little quicker, a little heavier.
After all this time, you were convinced that would never change.
You knew you were lucky to have found the closest thing to a soulmate in Jaehyun. He was your best friend, the person you fell asleep thinking about, and the boy who wouldn’t hesitate to be by your side whenever you needed him.
With that thought, you yanked on Jaehyun’s hair and earned a hiss through his teeth. You made him look into your eyes then, pressing your lips softly to his while he fucked you. Jaehyun hummed quietly at the feel of your tongue flicking into his mouth and wrapped his muscled arms around your waist.
You kissed him hotly and purred, “Harder, baby.”
Jaehyun scooped you up in his arms and made for the bed, kicking off his boxers from where they had been slung around his ankles. You made a wanton sound when he shoved you onto the mattress, flipped you over like you weighed nothing, and pushed his stiff cock back into your pussy.
You whimpered, his hand heavy at the base of your neck, and gripped the blankets beneath you for dear life. It was all you could do to arch your back, ass in the air, and take his thrusts. He was out to finish you both hard and fast.
“Bad day?” you managed to tease.
“The worst,” he growled, tightening his grasp on your body and plowing into you.
You weren’t complaining.
Jaehyun didn’t slow his relentless pace until you came with a cry, fisting your hands in the sheets and chanting curses like a mantra. You shivered with release, slumped into the bed, and begged Jaehyun to fill you.
Satisfied, you smirked when Jaehyun stilled abruptly, his cock pulsing and painting your walls with cum. The moan that left his throat was guttural and deep, and made you want to ride the soul out of him.
Jaehyun glanced down, getting one last look of every inch of his cock sheathed inside you, and finally noticed how tightly his fingers were pressed into the soft flesh of your hips. You stayed still and pliant, and the kneading of your sex on his length made his eyes roll back. Jaehyun released a long sigh, sated, and collapsed at your side.
You were panting like you couldn’t quite catch your breath and looked over to see Jaehyun’s chest heaving. Chuckling, you reached over and scraped your nails across his burly chest, teasing over a nipple. Atta boy, you wanted to say.
Eventually, you wobbled to the bathroom and cleaned yourself up, while Jaehyun slipped to your kitchen for a glass of water to wet his dry throat.
After donning your pajamas and situating yourself in bed, Jaehyun returned and made himself comfortable beside you. Draping an arm over your waist and pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth, Jaehyun asked, “Can I crash here?”
“Of course,” you replied, as if it were obvious.
Jaehyun gave a faux pout and buried his face in the crook of your neck, his question muffled against your skin, “Will you please just be my girlfriend already?”
“I told you, Jay. I don’t have time,” you reminded him, not meaning for the words to come out so bluntly.
Jaehyun grumbled, “But you make time to fuck me.”
You nodded. “Yeah, we agreed to keep things casual. Remember?”
That was debatable and you knew it. Jaehyun had been trying to date you since day one, but you hadn’t been ready for the serious relationship that he was after. He didn’t want to be a fuck buddy, he wanted to be the boyfriend, but he accepted the casual arrangement because it was all you would give him.
“I don’t want to be casual,” Jaehyun spoke up, propping his head on his hand and peering down at you. “I want more.”
You stared up at him in defiance, setting your jaw. You couldn’t understand why he had to rehash this nearly every time you were together. “I can’t give you more. You know that.”
Jaehyun exhaled loudly, slumping forward and resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s not fair. Nothing about this relationship is fair.”
Sensing defeat, you stroked his naked back softly and crooned, “We’re gonna end up together eventually. That’s what we’ve always said and known. Why do you want to slap a label on us now that my career is taking off?”
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, eyes full of anger, and huffed, “I think we should take a break.”
Your heart sank somewhere into your stomach. “What?”
Jaehyun clambered out of your bed and stood to full height, saying, “Yeah, maybe we should think things over and see if this…,” he pointed between you and him, and continued coldly, “Arrangement is the best thing for us.”
You propped up on your elbows and started, “Jaehyun…”
Jaehyun pulled on his jeans and fastened them quickly. “I’m serious. This whole running around and fucking is old. We’re not kids anymore.”
“Yeah, but we’re not boomers either,” you quipped, trying to lighten how heavy the air had become.
His voice was trembling. “I’m tired of forcing something onto you that you don’t want, but I’ve bent over backwards to be whatever you’ve wanted and you’ve never even tried to return the favor. I don’t want to be just sex. It makes me feel like shit.”
You opened your mouth to apologize, but he didn’t let you get a word in.
Jaehyun slipped into his shirt and scolded, “You don’t want to settle down. I get it. But I’m ready and maybe it’s time I found someone on the same page as me. Who wants me for more than just a fuck.”
That hurt. For fuck’s sake, did that wound you like nothing else. You knew this had been broiling, stirring beneath the surface and growing hotter with every night spent together.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if a sudden chill had filled the room, and replied softly, “You’re right. I’m sorry. You should be with someone who makes you happy.”
Jaehyun shook his head. He was the epitome of disappointment but not surprise. You didn’t hesitate to choose yourself over him. Every single time. You didn’t even think about it for a second.
Frustrated, Jaehyun spat, “How long are you gonna hide behind that job - acting like this has nothing to do with your self-absorbed fear of commitment? Just admit you don’t wanna be in a relationship because you're selfish!”
You stood, filled with rage, and yelled, “Get the fuck out!”
Though the last thing you wanted him to do was leave, you couldn't let him be right. And you damn sure couldn't let him talk to you like that; like he had even the slightest clue how it felt to be broken and have to put yourself back together again. Piece by fucking piece.
Jaehyun set his jaw, realizing he had gone too far, but was too prideful to admit it. He dug in his heels, sensing he was on the edge of an argument that would leave a massive fracture in your friendship. So, Jaehyun let go a sigh instead.
For your sake - and for how much he loved you - he bowed out.
You watched him grab his phone then storm out of your bedroom. His footsteps were heavy in your living room, collecting the rest of his clothes. A moment later, you heard the front door slam shut and you were safe to sit on the edge of your bed and cry.
Jaehyun hopped into his car and fumbled the keys into the ignition with shaky hands. God, he hated confrontation. He was on the verge of tears and that infuriated him. Why did he want you so badly when you never loved him the way he loved you? He would give up anything just to be with you.
You were greedy. You were selfish. But goddamn if he wasn’t out of his mind in love with you. Hopelessly.
Jaehyun exhaled roughly, releasing his pent up tension, and chastised himself for bringing it up in the first place. He started the car and pulled out of your driveway, knowing he would inevitably come crawling back to you sooner or later.
You gazed out the window, watching his familiar car speed off, and you looked down at your phone. You wanted to call and apologize, but your stubbornness was not to be underestimated.
To hell with him, you told yourself. It’s not like you were being unreasonable.
He was fortunate to have two parents that loved him and loved each other. Not you. Your parents divorced when you were young. To say it was bitter would be an understatement.
Though the wound to your heart had healed, there remained a nasty scar that served as an endless reminder of what happened when two people stopped loving each other.
You bristled at that thought. Jaehyun would never understand. How could he?
Two weeks passed from that night and it was safe to say you were out of your mind.
Jaehyun didn’t call. He didn’t text. You unlocked your phone multiple times a day and looked at his messages.
Nothing.
You had effectively lost your best friend and lover in the same breath. And you had no one to blame but yourself.
Maybe he really was done with you, once and for all. Maybe love did have a limit and you finally found his.
In the two weeks of deafening silence, you realized something - you weren’t ready to live without Jaehyun.
Selfish brat, you told yourself. Jaehyun always tried to meet you halfway, but you didn’t want to give up the freedom of being a single woman. You didn’t want to answer to anybody or be responsible for someone else.
And you didn’t want to hand someone the power to break you.
Jaehyun was right. It really was unfair.
You loved him. He loved you. And yet, you kept him at arm’s length. He deserved to be in a committed, healthy relationship.
Maybe it was time to accept that you deserved that too.
At long last, you swallowed what was left of your dignity and texted him, I’m sorry.
Jaehyun leaned back in his chair at the office, phone in his hand, and smiled faintly. He didn’t expect you to cave first. You were too damn headstrong for that. But alas, here you were.
I forgive you, he texted back and added a heart emoji.
You sighed in relief and replied, I’m stopping by your place after work, but not for sex.
Bummer. I’ll be there.
You put away your phone, resisting a grin. It felt good just to be talking to him again. The past two weeks had felt like years.
After work, you pulled into his driveway and gave the picturesque house a quick scan. Last year, Jaehyun had bought his first home - a two-story traditional style house with a crisp green lawn and a white picket fence.
It was exactly the kind of house everyone expected Jeong Jaehyun to get. You and your friends still lived in apartments. Most of Jaehyun’s friends had yet to give up their lofts or town-homes.
Not Jaehyun. He was clearly ready to settle down.
You stood on the front porch a moment, shuffling your feet and planning your words carefully. Setting your shoulders, you rang the doorbell and waited.
Jaehyun opened the door and immediately grinned to the point his eyes scrunched.
In your hands was a huge bouquet of assorted flowers.
You held out the bouquet to him and quipped, “Normalize giving flowers to boys.”
Jaehyun took the floral arrangement from you, his cheeks flushing a dark crimson, and bowed his head in a gesture of gratitude. “Thank you.”
You knew the gift would melt him on the spot. Jaehyun was a sap for things like that and it was ridiculously endearing.
Jaehyun motioned you inside and you followed him into the kitchen like a shadow. He found an empty vase, which you filled with water, and set his new flowers delicately inside.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, the overhead lights felt too bright. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you asked, “Can we start over?”
Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. “Sure.”
“Hey, hot stuff,” you joked, deepening your voice.
Jaehyun snorted back a laugh.
You softened and spoke bashfully, “Will you be my boyfriend?”
He frowned. “Are you pranking me?”
“No, I’m serious,” you replied, throwing any and all jokes aside. “You were right. It was unfair. I’ve been so unfair to you, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun raised a brow, skeptical but over the moon. His heart was fluttering like a bird violently trying to escape its cage. He questioned, “You really wanna do this?”
You shrugged and told him, “I wanna try. All I know is that I want to be with you.”
“Alright,” Jaehyun replied coolly, a playful smile dancing across his lips. “No sex until at least the third date. For gosh sake, buy me dinner first.”
You laughed.
Jaehyun reached out and took your hand, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. “I’m kidding, of course. When are you free? I wanna take you out.”
“I’m free right now,” you said, slipping comfortably into his arms and rising on your tiptoes to meet his lips. “And I’m starving.”
Jaehyun tightened his arms around you and met you the rest of the way, the kiss soft and sweet, content and familiar. When he’d had his fill, Jaehyun parted to say, “I’m so fucking sorry about the fight. And for what I said. I should have handled it better. I’ve wanted to apologize since the second I said that shit, but I was a coward.”
You replied without missing a beat, “I forgive you.”
Jaehyun overlapped his hands at your lower back, trying not to think about your breasts pressed against him, and murmured, “Thank you for trying.”
You quipped, “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna try this whole dating thing for you. Don’t hold it against me if I’m really bad at it.”
Jaehyun glided his hands to your hips. “You bought me flowers. You’ve already set the bar pretty damn high.”
You smiled at that, draping your arms across his shoulders and purring, “Can I have another kiss then?”
“Always,” Jaehyun whispered, pressing his lips to yours.
For the next few days, you were on a cloud. You and Jaehyun were like two teenagers dating for the first time. Everything was lovey dovey, heart emojis and awkward flirting and late night phone calls. It had been quite a while since you felt the giddiness that came with puppy love.
Maybe dating wasn’t so bad. It was actually kind of fun.
Jaehyun took you to dinner and a movie. And he never failed to walk you to your door and kiss you goodnight. He spared no expense when splurging on fancy restaurants though you were preferential to eating a simple ice cream cone on the beach with his hand tight around yours.
You may have missed having sex with him, but you appreciated the effort you both were putting into the new relationship. As it turned out, Jaehyun was easy to please. At his core, he was as cliche a romantic as they come. And you found you quite liked feeding that adorable side of him.
Meanwhile, Jaehyun strutted everywhere he went and his coworkers noticed his lighter, bouncier disposition. In Jaehyun’s mind, he was already planning the wedding. Baby steps, of course, but he was on a high that you were finally in a stereotypical relationship with him.
It’s about damn time, he quipped to himself.
And it was all about to come crashing down.
On Saturdays, Jaehyun was off from work. The benefits of having a corporate job, you mused. You still had articles to write and stories to research. Jaehyun didn’t pressure you about spending time with him, but you were counting down the hours until you could call it a day and head over to his house for movie night.
Only this time you were losing restraint.
Something was coming over you. The room felt too hot. You were down to a tank top and shorts. Your mind was like the homepage of a porn site. Every thought and mental image was Jaehyun on top of you or from behind, fucking you into oblivion. You couldn’t stop thinking about sex no matter how hard you tried.
“What the fuck,” you groaned, taking a gulp of water and pulling out your phone. You scrolled through photos, finding ones of Jaehyun shirtless in your bed. The two of you used to play around during hookups, taking photos on extra steamy occasions.
One of you straddling his naked waist and wearing his dress shirt loosely buttoned over your torso made your mouth water. You couldn’t take it anymore.
You quickly texted him, Can I come over?
His reply was fast, Little early. Did you get your work done?
Pulling on your shoes, you typed back, I need to see you.
So your articles aren’t done?
Fuck the articles. I want to see your dumb face.
Jaehyun chortled at that, reading your text more than once. Come over then.
Fifteen minutes later, you were ringing the doorbell, standing on his front porch.
Jaehyun opened it after a moment, a towel slung across his shoulders.
“Hey, you,” you greeted with a smile. Heat was still radiating down your neck and behind your cheeks.
“Hey, yourself,” replied Jaehyun, standing aside and waving you in.
You stepped inside and slipped off your shoes, waiting for him to shut the door before asking, “Is this a bad time?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I just got back from the gym a few minutes ago. What’s up?”
I noticed, you almost said. Damn, he looked good. Sweaty and flushed. You were a bitch in heat. “I have perfect timing,” you joked, rubbing your arm anxiously. “Can I be honest with you?”
Jaehyun fixed you with a stern look and said, “Always.”
Your eyes couldn’t stay still. Sweat left a sheen on his perfect skin, making your tongue shift in your mouth. The muscle tee he wore left his thick arms on display, taut and bulging. The veins in his hands were even more prominent than usual from the exertion and you were imagining those hands clamped on your waist.
Focus, you chided yourself. For the love of god.
“Okay, then,” you started. “I’m just gonna come out with it.”
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed. “What is eating at you?”
Goddamn, had a man ever looked so delicious? You were prepared to devour him whole.
Instead, you rambled, “I know we were on a break and we agreed to start over and take things slow. And let the record show I am really enjoying this new relationship thing.”
Jaehyun prompted, “But?”
“I wanna fuck.”
Jaehyun’s lips upticked into a smirk. “Oh?”
You forsook whatever pride you had left and moved closer to him. “I need to fuck. I swear, Jaehyun. I’m so horny I can’t think straight.”
His mouth broke into the widest grin. “Wow.”
You closed the rest of the distance between your bodies and hid your face beneath his jaw, whispering, “Please. I’m just thinking about that thick cock and fuck it, I’m so wet right now.”
Jaehyun pulled the towel hanging from his shoulders and flirted darkly, “You have my attention, baby.”
“Thank god,” you groaned, pressing your lips to his sweaty neck and breathing in the musky scent of him. “Please stick your dick in me.”
“How romantic,” he droned, amusement filling his eyes.
You leaned back and whined, “Jaehyun.”
He chuckled, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him again. “I’m kidding. You need some dick, huh?”
You roamed your hands under his shirt to his chiseled abs and purred, “Not any dick - your dick. And yes, I need it bad. If you want me to beg, I am ready to beg.”
“Tempting,” Jaehyun rumbled, brushing past your hip to grip a handful of your ass. Then, he said, “Bedroom.”
You turned and ran, galloping up the adjacent stairs. Jaehyun gave chase, clearing two steps at a time. You caught sight of the open bedroom and cried out when Jaehyun gathered you in his arms, though you knew he could catch you with ease.
Jaehyun carried you into the bedroom and set you down just shy of the bed, getting a fistful of your hair and colliding his lips with yours. He was hungry. Nothing made him harder than being needed and craved.
You moaned into his mouth, tearing off his shirt and setting your fingertips into the hot flesh of his shoulders. You couldn’t resist parting from his mouth to bring your lips to his neck, traveling down and across his collarbone with your tongue.
Jaehyun grunted, his cock viscerally aware of your warm body pressed against it in the loose confines of his gym shorts. He grasped the hem of your shirt, pulling up and over your head, and unclasped your bra without a moment to waste.
You were ravenous, cradling his head with both hands and kissing him with abandon. Jaehyun made a sound, surprised and pleased at your urgency, and cupped your perky breasts in his palms.
What has gotten into her? he thought with delight. Though your hunger for him was nothing new, this felt heavier. It was primal and aggressive.
When Jaehyun rubbed his thumbs over your nipples, you broke from his lips and growled, “Touch me and feel for yourself how badly I want you.”
Jaehyun locked eyes with you and coaxed a hand into your pants, cupping your sex. Surprise quickly flashed across his face. “Jesus, you’re soaked.”
You licked your lips, arching into his hand with need. Then, your lips parted in a gasp when Jaehyun crooked a finger into your pussy.
Jaehyun brought his lips to your ear and whispered, “And you’re pulsing, baby.”
“I know,” you whined, steadying yourself by gripping his arms.
Jaehyun pulled back to look into your face and said, “It hasn’t even been a month.”
You glowered, feigning anger. “Don’t make fun of me.”
Jaehyun chortled huskily in his throat and his voice was deeper when he said, “I will later, but for now, strip and get on my bed.”
You didn’t need to be told twice.
Naked, you crawled backwards on the mattress until your shoulders met the headboard. Jaehyun pried off his shorts and boxers, and came on hands and knees toward you, erect cock curving toward his abs. He kissed a scorching path up your bare thigh and teased his fingers through your slit, shaking his head at your arousal.
When Jaehyun grabbed your ankles and dragged you closer, not satisfied until you were flat on your back, you asked, “Can we do that one position?”
Jaehyun made himself comfortable between your legs, pumping his hard cock with your slick. “Which one?”
“This,” you started, draping your legs on his thighs and reaching down as best you could to rest your hands on the top of his knees. “I have no idea why I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Sure,” Jaehyun said offhandedly, his mouth watering at the sight of your dripping cunt so close to his dick. “Just let me open you up first.”
“Ugh, don’t talk like that.”
Jaehyun steered the head of his cock into your entrance and snorted. “I wasn’t even trying to be sexy. You’re hopeless.”
You ran a hand into your hair and whined, “I’m a mess.”
“Not yet, but you will be,” Jaehyun retorted, gathering your hips in his hands.
“There’s my boy,” you sang.
Jaehyun fought a smile and shifted his gaze back to where your bodies connected, steadily pushing inside until he was fully seated within you. You let out the breath you’d been holding, a moan releasing on your exhale with pleasure at finally being filled.
“Good girl,” Jaehyun praised almost inaudibly, rocking into you and shuddering at the scalding heat of your body gloved around his cock.
You lay there for what felt like an eternity. Jaehyun sped up and throttled you on the bed, then slowed his pace and let you feel every inch of his strokes before speeding up again. He touched your thighs, your hips, your waist; his touch sometimes rough, sometimes gentle. His fingers pressed into your clit, brushed your nipples, and locked around your throat.
When Jaehyun caressed a thumb tenderly over your bottom lip, his cock sinking in and out of your tight pussy, he whispered, “Tell me you love me. Even if it’s a lie. I need to hear it.”
You gazed up at him, stars shining in your eyes, and said, “I love you, Jaehyun.”
He blinked, slowing his movements.
“I would never lie about something like that,” you confessed, voice tender.
Jaehyun simpered and leaned in to kiss you. “I’ve always loved you,” he spoke in your ear.
I know, you thought to yourself, sinking your fingers into his back and trapping him to you.
Jaehyun left you satisfied and sore, and when you’d both slumped into the mattress with exhaustion, he couldn’t help but take you in his arms and cover your neck in kisses. You giggled at the affection, tangling your arms and legs through his.
“So, not to be that guy,” Jaehyun began nonchalantly. “But this sounds hormonal.”
You nodded as you pulled on your shirt. “Yeah.”
“You get horny as fuck around your period, but never like this.”
The words were like ice in your veins. Your heart promptly vacated its place in your chest and crammed itself in your throat. It felt like the floor had just been ripped out from under you. Sitting up sharply, head spinning, your eyes were wide. “Oh… oh god.”
Jaehyun clocked a glance at you. “What?”
“My period.”
Jaehyun furrowed his brows in confusion.
“I haven’t had a period,” you said shakily.
Jaehyun’s face was emotionless, but his pulse was thundering like a shock of adrenaline had seized him. “Since?” he asked.
“Last month? Maybe?” You were beginning to devolve and exclaimed, “Oh my god, I can’t remember!”
“Shit,” Jaehyun huffed, leaping out of bed and snatching his pants.
“What are you doing?” you asked in a panic, watching him dress.
Jaehyun replied, “We can’t go to the store naked and we gotta get a pregnancy test.”
You followed his lead and crossed the room, pulling on your pants. In the midst of your frantic movements, you asked, “How is your brain working right now?”
Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and pushed it into the back pocket of his jeans, saying, “Well, one of us has to.”
You froze in place, covering your face with both hands and slumping to the edge of his bed. “Jaehyun, I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
Jaehyun crouched down before you and took your hands between his warm palms. “Stop. Stop. Stop,” he cooed, but his tone was firm. “Take a deep breath. I’ll drive.”
You nodded and let him hoist you up.
Jaehyun drove calmly despite the gravity of the situation. Matter of fact, he was rather calm overall. He was sporting his trademark poker face, hiding the swirling storm of emotions within.
Regardless, you found yourself relaxing thanks to his stone cold tranquility. Mulling it over, you said, “I’ve been so busy with work. I lost track of my cycle. The stress must have made me skip.”
“That’s probably it. Don’t panic,” Jaehyun consoled. His thoughts were racing.
At the nearest pharmacy, Jaehyun held your hand tight and you followed him like a lost puppy. He grabbed a box of pregnancy tests and only let go of your hand to pay with his credit card. You stared at him in wonder, wanting to cry that you had him to rely on during this little crisis.
You returned to his house and headed straight for the bathroom. Jaehyun was courteous enough to bring you a bottle of water and told you he would be on the sofa if you needed him.
It was your first time peeing on a stick and your aim left much to be desired. Given there were a total of three tests in the pack, you figured what the hell and decided to use them all, just to be sure. By the third one, your aim improved.
After washing your hands, you set the tests in a line on the sink and stared, waiting for something. The silence was agonizing and you bounced on your toes with impatience. The rest of your life was hanging in the balance of these damned little pee sticks.
Opening the door, you called out, “They don’t say anything yet.”
Jaehyun appeared, looking paler than usual, and said, “Let’s grab a snack. Give them time to do their thing.”
You followed him into the kitchen and complained, “Do they have to take so long? Hasn’t medical advancement come far enough for instant results?”
Jaehyun glanced over his shoulder at you and joked, “Even instant ramen isn’t instant. Adjust your expectations.”
You snickered. Then, your face fell as you turned somber. “Thank you for making me laugh in this terrifying moment.”
Jaehyun offered a smile. “You’re welcome.”
You shared a bag of chips with him on the couch, stealing glances at the digital clock on his end table. Though the time was more than sufficient, you were avoiding it.
Jaehyun sank a little deeper into the couch and asked, “How long has it been?”
“Ten minutes. Give or take.”
He reached over and squeezed your hand. “It’s time.”
You bobbed your head. Your body was trembling with nerves.
Jaehyun walked with you to the bathroom like a creature inside was prepared to swallow you whole.
Once at the door, you whirled around to face him and whimpered, “I can’t look, Jay. I can’t. Please.”
Jaehyun studied you. Never had he seen you so terrified and it made his heart sore. He wanted to fix everything, wanted to do anything to make you smile again. With a nod, he stepped into the bathroom and you waited, rooted in place.
When he came out, Jaehyun took your hands. “I want you to take a deep breath.”
You searched his face. “Okay.”
Jaehyun paused, completely devoid of expression again, and finally said, “They’re all positive.”
Your whole body went slack, like every drop of your blood had left you in an instant. Your head felt light. The floor was spinning. Fainting was imminent.
“Baby,” Jaehyun called. “Deep breath.”
You shook your head, resistant.
“Okay,” Jaehyun said, seeing you sway where you stood. “We’re gonna move to the couch now.”
At his guidance, you sat down slowly on his sofa, contemplating your entire existence as you realized a potential tiny human was currently sharing your body.
Jaehyun fell back against the couch. The two of you simply sat there for god knows how long, minds racing at hyperspeed with the millions of thoughts that came with those three positive pee sticks.
Ultimately, you gathered some of your bearings and questioned aloud, “How did this happen?”
Jaehyun asked levelly, “Did you stop taking your birth control pills?”
You spoke in a hurry, unnerved, “No. No, Jaehyun. I swear to god. I’ve never missed a single one.”
That worried him and his reply was severe, “Then, you need to go to the doctor right away.”
“I know. Will you… go with me?”
Jaehyun turned to you. “You want me to?”
Your face tensed with tears and moisture weighed down your words, “Yeah, I’m - I am so scared right now.”
Jaehyun softened, hooking an arm around your shoulders and tugging you close. “I’ll go with you.”
The next day (and one very sleepless night) later, you were sitting in a cold exam room. You could hardly believe your ears when your primary care physician was able to work you into their schedule after hearing your concerns.
Jaehyun sat in the corner of the stark white room, elbows propped on his knees, wringing his hands. An anatomical diagram of the female reproductive system was framed above him. The irony almost made you laugh. Almost.
Doctor Grant came in, offering a wide smile as she always did, and greeted you by name politely. You introduced Jaehyun, who stood out of respect and shook her outstretched hand.
Opening your file and clicking her pen at the ready, Doctor Grant asked, “What brings you in today?”
“Well, doc,” you began, gripping the edge of the exam table beneath you. Its surface was ice cold under your rear. “My period is a couple weeks late and I took three home pregnancy tests. They were all positive.”
She glanced at your chart and jotted something down. “Are you still taking the oral contraceptives?”
You nodded. “Yes, and that’s what has me so freaked out. I’ve never missed a pill.”
Doctor Grant met your eyes and spoke soothingly, “Okay, well, nothing a quick blood test won’t answer. We’ll also take another urine sample, too. Standard procedure.”
You bit your lip and fiddled with your thumbs in your lap. “Is there a chance I’m really pregnant?”
Doctor Grant asked, “Have you been sexually active?”
Given the presence of your handsome albeit petrified boyfriend in the room beneath the uterus diagram, it was a rhetorical question. “Yes.”
She replied firmly, “Then, yes. There’s a chance.”
You looked at Jaehyun, finding his face vacant.
There was a short bout of silence as Doctor Grant flipped through your chart again, clearly searching for something. Though records were electronic now, she was set in her old-fashioned ways and preferred paper files when interacting with patients and charting their concerns.
When she found what she was looking for, Doctor Grant said, “I see you came in two months ago for a separate issue.”
You grimaced. “Yes, I had that god-awful stomach flu for a week.”
“I remember,” she murmured, nodding her head. “You had recurrent vomiting for a few days?”
“Yes.”
Doctor Grant made a face. “Did you use alternate forms of birth control around that time? Condoms?”
You furrowed your brows. “No. Why?”
“You more than likely threw up your birth control pills.”
You frowned.
Jaehyun spoke up, “We didn’t have sex when she was sick.” He turned to you and added, “You could barely get out of bed.”
“Birth control pills affect implantation,” Doctor Grant explained. “A few days without them and your body is more hospitable for a fertilized egg. Plus you could have been ovulating at that time, which as you know, is your most fertile period.”
“Which would explain why I jumped right back into the saddle when I was feeling better,” you groaned with a disappointed shake of your head. “Metaphorically speaking.”
Jaehyun fought a chortle. You were notoriously horny around your period, but during your peak fertile days, you couldn’t stop begging him to fill you up.
Doctor Grant continued, “It could have been a perfect storm of factors.”
You resorted to humor again to feel like less of an idiot. “Does it say puking messes with the pills somewhere on the box or can I hire a lawyer and sue them for all they’re worth?”
Doctor Grant chuckled. “Oh, it definitely says on the packets that come with every set that there are many things capable of interfering with the effectiveness of oral contraceptives. It’s rare, but they covered all of their bases.”
“Great,” you deadpanned.
Doctor Grant stood, tucking your file into the bend of her arm. “Alright, the nurse will be in here to collect some blood. Then, we’ll have you go to the bathroom and give a urine sample.”
“Sure thing, Doctor Grant. Thank you.”
The door shut behind her and once it clicked, you immediately turned to Jaehyun. “I might really be pregnant.”
His voice was faint, distant. “Yeah.”
“Stomach flu,” you barked in consternation. “Really?”
“Who knew?”
You huffed, “Clearly not me. I couldn’t wait to hop on your dick again when I stopped puking my brains out.”
Jaehyun spoke up, “I should have warned you that you were ovulating. All the signs were there.”
You narrowed your eyes, a smirk playing on your lips. “You can tell when I’m ovulating?”
Jaehyun fought a mischievous grin, mind filling with explicit images of you. He was tempted to remind you just how many years you had been intimate together, but instead, he murmured, “Oh, yeah. I know your body very well.”
“Mm.”
The room was suddenly full of tension. The pleasant kind. Which was a much higher preference to the smothering pressure of worry.
Jaehyun helped you pass the time. He was always easy to talk to. It was better to forget about the anxiety and anticipation. You felt like a frayed string, being pulled this way and that. Your nerves were shot at this point.
You just wanted to know for sure if your life was about to change forever.
After getting your blood drawn by the nurse and peeing in a cup in the bathroom, time lost all meaning. You were sitting in a haze of eternal waiting. Your head was foggy and your chest was tight.
Jaehyun stood between your dangling legs and held you in a hug. You were comforted by the warmth of his body against yours, warding off the sharp cold of the exam room, and the soft press of his lips on your temple. With your arms around him, he was your anchor to the world.
When Doctor Grant returned, Jaehyun parted from you reluctantly and you held his hand in a silent gesture to keep him standing next to you.
Taking her seat and smiling brightly, Doctor Grant announced, “Both your urine test and blood work were positive.”
You blinked. “I’m pregnant?”
“You’re pregnant.”
The room was spinning wildly now. Up until that point, you could take the positive pregnancy tests and missing period with a grain of salt like any woman in denial. Now, you knew beyond a reasonable doubt that there was a baby inside you. “Wow. Okay.”
Doctor Grant proceeded, “Given the timeline we discussed earlier, it’s possible you’re eight to ten weeks along. Would you like a preliminary ultrasound?”
“Uh…,” you hesitated, searching for words. “Yes, that would be great.”
“At this stage in your pregnancy, a traditional abdominal ultrasound would more than likely be inconclusive so we would need to do it transvaginally.”
Jaehyun asked with worry, “What does that mean?”
Doctor Grant answered like any seasoned physician, “We insert it into the vagina and should be able to get a clear picture of the embryo.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re gonna put a machine in her…”
“Vagina,” Doctor Grant finished, understanding his confusion. “It’s more or less a camera if you think about it.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Jaehyun murmured, his cheeks reddening. He could only imagine how much that would hurt.
“Let’s do it,” you said, needing every last shred of evidence before your brain would accept this new reality. “I’m no stranger to having big things in my vagina, obviously.”
Jaehyun glowered. “Very funny.”
An hour later, you were in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car, looking down at a weird little black and white picture of your baby.
Baby.
This early in the pregnancy it was vaguely shaped. But the little flicker of a heartbeat was unmistakable. You had latched onto that. Even now, it was still thumping in your ears.
Approximately eight weeks pregnant, Doctor Grant’s words echoed in your mind - It’s about the size of a bean. That had made you chuckle through the threat of tears. What a cute thing to say, you had thought.
The car was eerily quiet. Jaehyun had forgotten to put on some music or turn on the radio. He couldn’t believe it. An actual baby. Bean-sized apparently.
He was going to be a father.
Sure, it was his dream to come home after a hard day of work to you, his wife, and a few tiny humans, but the timeline was a little fucked.
He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Jaehyun checked you again from the corner of his eye. You looked no different and yet, somewhere inside your belly his baby was growing.
Jaehyun pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “Are you okay?”
Your gaze was on the little picture in your hands. “No thoughts. Head empty,” you replied, but it was a far cry from the truth. Your mind was pure insanity.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay the night?”
You turned to him and placated him with a faint smile. “I’m honestly just gonna go to bed. I’m tired. I may take a hot bath first, but that’s it.”
Jaehyun sighed. He hated the idea of leaving you alone, but you needed time to think.
Time to decide.
He wanted you to rest and relax. To let a hot bath and some peaceful quiet dissipate the last of your nerves. You looked exhausted. Waiting for a definitive answer had taken its toll on you.
“Will you promise to call me the second you change your mind? I don’t mind staying over so you’re not alone,” he pressed.
“Yes, I promise. Thank you.”
Jaehyun blinked, like it had fully dawned on him. “I got you pregnant. I… put a baby in you.”
You nodded tiredly. “Yeah, you did.”
Jaehyun reached over and took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “No pressure on your decision. Whatever you decide, I will support you.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and took his hand between your palms, clinging to him tightly. “I know that, but thank you for saying it.”
Jaehyun studied you. He was hinged on your every word at this point.
You snorted. “This just goes to show you can do everything right, take plenty of precautions, and still get pregnant.”
Jaehyun said nothing. The air around him was cold and heavy.
You became somber, biting your lip as the silence threatened to smother you. “She said I’m early enough I could… terminate with pills instead of something more invasive.”
Jaehyun nodded. He was there when Doctor Grant detailed all the options. He was prepared for either route. You were carrying all of the weight on your shoulders and it was up to him to be a rock beneath you that didn’t bend or break.
Maybe under different circumstances you would have chosen to end it. But this was Jaehyun. And more importantly, this was Jaehyun’s baby. You had made a baby together, as Doctor Grant put it, in a perfect storm of factors. You almost respected your little bean’s tenacity.
You glanced down at your unchanged stomach. Even though you looked exactly the same, you had never felt so different. Jaehyun’s baby was in there somewhere. Would it have his pretty eyes? Maybe his adorable dimples?
Turning to Jaehyun, you asked softly, “Would I sound crazy if I said I want to keep it?”
He perked up a little. “Really?”
“Yeah,” you started, a little relieved to have said it aloud. “I mean, I always imagined us married and boring when we had kids.”
To hear that you pictured a future with him and that the picture you painted was very similar to the one he’d always wanted for the both of you, made Jaehyun capable of flight. “Me, too,” was all he could say. Emotions were tugging at his heartstrings.
“We made this baby together, Jaehyun,” you said, trembling.
Jaehyun reached for you, bringing you close to him until your foreheads touched.
Closing your eyes, you whispered, “I’m choosing to have this baby with you.”
Jaehyun leaned into you, the air whooshing out of his lungs. “I love you,” he rasped, holding you so tightly he feared he might break you in his arms.
You cradled his face and pressed your lips to his. After a moment, you pulled back and whispered, “Tell me everything is going to be okay.”
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
You bit your lip, fighting back the tears though they were quick to escape and roll down your cheeks. The weight on your shoulders was heavy, but not unbearable now that you knew you weren’t carrying it all by yourself.
Jaehyun walked you to your front door, as always. “I’m just a phone call away, baby,” he reminded.
“Thank you,” you replied, reluctant to go inside and leave him. But you craved a moment to yourself. A hot cup of tea, an even hotter bath, and a few rounds of your favorite playlist would ground you and seep some strength back into your bones.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, desperately wanted not to be alone and just before pulling out of your driveway, he sent two texts.
Ten marched into the living room, looking particularly disheveled like he had been dragged unwillingly from a party. “What’s the deal?”
Behind him, Johnny chimed, “Yeah, it sounded serious.”
“Don’t get me wrong, we love seeing you,” Ten continued.
Johnny finished that thought. “But this wasn’t something that could be done in a phone call?”
Jaehyun strode to his coffee table, grabbed something the pair of boys couldn’t see, then turned around and held it up.
Ten and Johnny gawked at the ultrasound photo.
“I’m gonna be a father,” Jaehyun announced, his voice level.
“What?” Ten exclaimed in disbelief.
Johnny grabbed the photo, looking it over. He even tilted it from side to side. “Yep, that’s an embryo.”
Ten snatched the photo from him roughly and smarted, “Thank you for your contribution.”
Jaehyun made for the sofa, collapsing in a heap.
Johnny followed him, asking, “How did this happen?”
Ten seized the opportunity and teased, “When dick meets cunt…”
Johnny knew he walked right into that one and interjected loudly, “I know how it happened, obviously. But did you guys plan this?”
Jaehyun snapped, “Of course, we didn’t plan it!”
“Hey, cut me some slack. I’m not the one that had sex with you,” Johnny defended, surprised by the outburst.
Jaehyun simmered. “I couldn’t even get her to be my girlfriend, for fuck’s sake.”
Johnny winced. “I forgot.”
Ten finally finished looking over the sonogram and eagerly joined the pair on the couch. “You guys are basically married at this point. You’ve been together for years.” He turned to his roommate and asked, “How long do you have to be together for the government to basically consider you spouses?”
Johnny shrugged and replied, “I think five years?”
“The hell if I know,” Ten snipped. Then, he wiggled his eyebrows. “When are you gonna put a ring on me, Daddy?”
Johnny deadpanned, “I have a cock ring in my underwear drawer. Does that count?”
Ten giggled.
Jaehyun hung his head in his hands. Ten and Johnny were a great distraction, but even they couldn’t cut through Jaehyun’s state of mind. “This is not how I planned on bringing my kid into the world,” he mumbled sadly.
Johnny and Ten exchanged glances, silently confirming to each other that the time for jokes was over.
Patting his friend on the shoulder, Johnny consoled, “I know. It’s gonna be okay. You can do this.”
Jaehyun shook his head. “She won’t even… stay with me.”
“That’s about to change,” Ten asserted, rolling his eyes at your stubbornness.
Jaehyun sighed.
Ten changed his tone. “Listen, have her move in with you.”
While Johnny nodded his agreement, Jaehyun said, “She won’t go for it.”
Ten bristled and his snark flared, “Then, tell her that you made this baby together and it’s just as much yours as it is hers.”
“I don’t want to fight,” Jaehyun replied morosely. “I just want us to be a family. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Johnny frowned, saddened by the condition of his friend’s heart, and asked, “Have you told her that?”
“I’ve tried.”
Johnny clocked a glance at Ten and grumbled, “He still hates confrontation.”
“I sure as hell don’t,” Ten sneered, pulling out his phone. A few seconds later, he said, “Hey, you. I’m coming over.”
“Okay?” you questioned.
Then, he hung up.
You had just finished your glorious hot bath and were about to crawl into bed by the time Ten knocked on your door.
“Hi, sunshine,” he greeted, hugging you warm and tight.
“Jaehyun told you,” you stated blandly.
“A baby,” Ten said in stride, strutting into your apartment like he owned it. Which was nothing new. Ten saw the entire world as his own personal playground. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
Ten folded his arms. “Start packing your shit.”
You blinked in surprise. “What?”
“You’re moving in with Jaehyun.”
You rolled your eyes and chided, “Jaehyun hasn’t asked me to move in with him.”
Ten followed you as you made for the kitchen and barked, “He’s wanted to ask you for months - probably years - and now you have no excuse. This whole wanting to do everything yourself stops with a baby.”
You set two tea cups on the counter and began, “Ten, I can’t just…”
But Ten was adamant and cut you off, “Pack your shit.”
You relented. “Okay.”
Ten thanked you when you slid a hot cup of tea toward him. “And act surprised when Jaehyun asks you.”
You held the cup to your lips, blowing the hot steam away, and murmured, “I’ve wanted to live with him for a while.”
Ten piqued at that. He leaned coolly against your counter and arched a brow. “Really?”
You nodded and after a sip of tea that scorched its way down your throat pleasantly, you responded, “Yes. I’ve been letting him keep more and more of his stuff here. And I have things at his house. I thought I was giving enough signs. Then, we had that stupid fight.”
“Honey, I think the moment you told him you wanted to keep things casual he thought you only wanted him for his dick.”
You slumped in defeat. “I fucked up. I know that.”
Ten retorted, “Glad you know it.”
You scoffed. Regardless of his chastisements, Ten was consistently reliable as a good and trustworthy friend. “We’ve been trying to do the whole dating thing for like two weeks now,” you mentioned after a pause.
“I know,” Ten groaned, feigning annoyance. “He will not shut up about it. I’ve never seen him so happy.”
Your smile faded into a frown and you spoke under your breath, “I guess that’s blown to hell now.”
Ten gave you a nudge. “Not hardly.”
The two of you chatted for a little while longer, but the exhaustion of the day’s events put a damper on your energy. “Listen, Ten. I love you, but it’s late and I really need to sleep.”
“Fine. I’ll ease up,” he replied, giving you a kiss on the cheek, which you returned.
First thing in the morning, you called your boss to let him know you were under the weather and had no intention of leaving your bed for the day. Which was true. He was perfectly understanding and wished you well, though he did curtly remind you of your deadlines that still needed to be met. As to be expected.
What you didn’t expect was a knock at the door not long after and Jaehyun standing on the other side.
“Jaehyun, what are you…,” you started, but before you could finish, Jaehyun breezed past you into the apartment.
“I want you to move in with me and before you say no, hear me out.”
You shut the door and swiveled around toward him. “Jay…”
His words were a mile a minute, a testament to just how long he had been rehearsing them in his head, “I’ve wanted to live with you for years. Obviously I was hoping we would be married by now, but that’s beside the point.”
You tried to interject, “Jaehyun.”
He persisted, “I get that you want to be successful on your own and you have your own dreams. They mean a lot to you. No one respects you and your drive more than I do, and I’m so damn proud of you.”
You smiled. “Thank you.”
“But there’s no reason for us not to live together. None. Zero,” Jaehyun continued flatly, getting winded. “We should have done this a long time ago and with a baby on the way, it just makes sense.”
“I know,” you said with a nod.
Jaehyun didn’t hear you. His voice rose slightly, passionate. “And I’ll be damned if you think you’re gonna raise my kid for a single second by yourself. You and that tiny bean are the loves of my life. Damn it, I’m moving in here!”
You were grinning from ear to ear now and simply replied, “Okay.”
“And if you…,” Jaehyun huffed, then stopped, bewildered. “Wait a minute. What?”
“I agree. We should have moved in together a long time ago.”
“Oh.”
You chuckled.
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “That was easy.”
You ambled toward him and crooned, “But I don’t think moving into my place is the best fit. You have a spare bedroom. We can turn it into a nursery.”
“Yeah, a nursery,” Jaehyun stammered, heart fluttering at the thought. “Wow. Like a room for our baby.”
You wrapped your arms around his waist and peered up into his beautiful eyes, which currently sparkled with glee. “Yes, that’s generally what a nursery is,” you teased lightly.
Jaehyun smoothed his hand down your back and smiled at the way you were looking at him. “We’re officially having a baby.”
“Mm-hm,” you hummed.
“And you’re moving in with me.”
You quipped, “Yep. According to Kanye’s crazy ass, I got you for eighteen years.”
Jaehyun had no clue what song you were referencing nor did he care. He was too swept up in happiness. Pressing his lips to your brow, he said, “You’re gonna have me a lot longer than that, baby.”
You shrugged. “I ain’t mad about it.”
“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered, his breath warm on your cheek.
You flushed. When he spoke those three little words, fire lit through your veins and kindled inside your chest. “I love you too,” you told him somberly. “And I’m sorry. I know you had this all planned out and we really went out of order.”
Jaehyun mimicked your shrug. “I ain’t mad about it.”
You giggled.
Rather than steal a kiss, Jaehyun lingered his attention on your face, searching for any sign of discomfort. “You okay?”
You nestled deeper into his arms and almost rolled your eyes that nothing got past him where you were concerned. “I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment, I guess,” you revealed shyly.
“Tell me what you need,” Jaehyun said, the octaves of his voice dropping.
You were speaking to the man who had seen you naked and gotten you pregnant. For the life of you, you would never understand why you were embarrassed to ask, “Can we just… cuddle for a while?”
Jaehyun softened. “We can cuddle for as long as you want.”
And so you did. You had no intention of leaving the bed that day anyway.
You cuddled. You cried. You were a tiny boat in a brewing storm of feelings and Jaehyun was your anchor.
You kissed. You made love. Jaehyun promised to protect you all the days of your life. And when he ran out of words, he seared his promises into your skin with his lips.
Days like this were few and far between, days when you didn’t know where you ended and Jaehyun began. Where you felt like two complete halves of the same whole, meant to find each other again.
And now you were both bound together forever by a baby.
Over the next few days, Jaehyun helped you break the lease at your apartment and paid for movers to pack and transport all of your things to his house.
The first trimester left without incident. You counted yourself lucky to have very few negative symptoms thus far. Aside from sore, tender breasts and one or two bouts of morning sickness (that obnoxiously occurred in the evenings), you were far too distracted by the new life you and Jaehyun were making together to really notice.
The two of you cleared out his plain guest room, intent on adding some color and getting far more paint on each other than the actual walls. You mutually settled on a soft golden shade of yellow, reminiscent of sunflowers. Jaehyun couldn’t hide his excitement at picking out baby furniture and bought you something at every store you went with him, despite your protests.
You brought him tea while he assembled the crib and when it was done, you cried. It seemed with every new addition to the house, the more it sank in that you were pregnant. Jaehyun held you close and rubbed your arm, accustomed to your hormonal mood swings as best he could be.
Waking up in bed with Jaehyun had an effect on you. Domesticity came easier than expected. This was your house, your bedroom. He had his side of the mattress and you had yours. Just like the closet and bathroom attached to the bedroom.
Every morning when you first woke up, you dragged your feet to the bathroom to pee. Then you approached the mirror, lifted your shirt, and looked at your belly. You turned this way and that, rubbing the growing bump. Sometimes you would shake your head in disbelief that there was a tiny human growing inside you.
And the more it grew, the more you just couldn’t stop touching and caressing that belly.
To say nothing of Jaehyun. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Your sex drive was still like wildfire at the most inconvenient of times and it was all he could do to keep up with you. Though seeing you swell with his baby certainly helped. He had never felt more virile.
Jaehyun appeared tiredly in the doorway of the bathroom, a fond smile breaking through his sleepy daze.
You turned to him, grinning, and exclaimed, “There really is a baby in there.”
He nodded, chuckling. She’s glowing, he thought sweetly to himself.
You let out a giggle and then put your shirt down, reaching for your toothbrush.
Jaehyun joined you, the two of you brushing your teeth and resisting the urge to make faces at each other in the mirror. It was obvious Jaehyun couldn’t keep his attention from drifting to your stomach or your breasts, which had also grown considerably since entering the second trimester.
After washing your face and preparing to put on makeup for another day at work, Jaehyun came up behind you and tugged up your shirt, roaming his hands over your exposed stomach.
“I have a couple big meetings today so if you need me, send a text,” Jaehyun said, pressing a kiss to the base of your neck.
“Okay,” you said, applying moisturizer to your face. “Is it the new clients?”
“Yeah, they want a full breakdown of the system,” Jaehyun replied blithely, almost sounding bored. His touch was the opposite. Fire was licking out from his chest and his hands were rough.
You knew he was in the mood, but you were feigning indifference. Teasing him was fun. Lately you were the one to always instigate sex, due to the state of your hormones, which was why knowing your changing body sent Jaehyun into arousal did nothing but inflame you.
“You have to leave soon, babe,” you sighed, eyes fluttering with the way Jaehyun nipped at your neck.
Jaehyun growled in your ear, “We have enough time.”
You said nothing, but you leaned into his touches and promptly steered his hands to your sensitive breasts.
Jaehyun made a pleased noise, cupped your mounds, and said, “Your boobs are huge.”
“I know,” you laughed.
And the next thing you knew, you were on your back in bed, giggling as Jaehyun’s lips tickled your ear.
Jaehyun stripped the lower half of your body. Your shirt was hiked above your swollen breasts and you could barely see past them at this angle.
Hormones surged and you were suddenly very aware of the extra thickness that had taken residence in your thighs and hips. Jaehyun had already noticed and goddamn, if it didn’t make his mouth water.
“Please ignore my belly,” you suddenly blurted.
Jaehyun glanced up at you incredulously, his hard cock resting on your pussy, and shot back, “How can I ignore it when it turns me on this bad?”
You gaped. “Seriously?”
“Yes, fuck,” Jaehyun rasped, smoothing his hands down your thighs. “You look so good pregnant.”
“Stop it,” you whined, though you didn’t mean a word. Your pulse had taken residence squarely at the apex of your thighs and it was torture.
“I put my baby in you,” Jaehyun said, more so to himself as he lifted your legs and bent them at the knees.
You threw your head back, wanting nothing more than to vanish into the mattress. Your core was slick, throbbing. Everything he said and did aroused you to the point of madness. Just a moment ago you were simply washing your face and now you were a heartbeat away from begging for dick. “God, you’re killing me.”
Steering your ankles to his shoulders, Jaehyun glanced sideways in the direction of his clock and asked, “How much time do we have again?”
“Fifteen minutes maximum.”
He huffed darkly, “I’m gonna eat up every second of that fifteen.”
You cried out when he penetrated you, tight and hard and so fucking deep. Wrenching your hands in the sheets on opposite sides of your body, you tipped your head back at a fast thrust and cursed, “Fuck.”
Jaehyun rocked into you and palmed your fleshy hips. Looking down at you, licking his lips like you were a full course meal, Jaehyun rasped, “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
You met his eyes and smirked, breasts bouncing with his pace.
Jaehyun tickled his fingers over the crest of your belly and whispered, “Mother of my baby.”
You could hear yourself gushing around him, arousal soaking his cock each time he drove in, and you moaned, “Fuck me.”
Jaehyun steered your feet from his shoulders and bent your legs, pressing his hands into the muscles of your thighs. His cock was even deeper now, his strokes long and slow like he relished every second inside the vice of your cunt.
The new angle, however good it felt, put undue pressure on your stomach and you could feel something building that made you panic. “Jaehyun, wait…,” you started, but it was too late. The fart escaped and you immediately hid your face behind both hands.
Jaehyun came to a dead stop, balls deep in your pussy, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “Was that a fart?”
“Yes,” you mumbled against your palms.
Jaehyun laughed heartily. “That was the daintiest fart ever. Why is everything you do so damn cute?”
You peeked between your fingers and exclaimed, “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!”
Jaehyun pulled out of you and folded at your side, cracking up with his eyes scrunched.
“Stop laughing at me,” you screeched, smacking his chest.
Jaehyun finally settled down and said, “Honest to god, I’ve never heard such a cute fart.”
“Stop saying fart,” you whined, though you were smiling at his reaction now. “You’re killing the mood!”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Jaehyun chuckled, getting back to his knees. “Your secret is safe with me.”
You watched him move between your thighs again, gripping your knees in his hands and spreading you apart for him, and huffed, “We will never speak of this again.”
Jaehyun pressed his cock back into your folds and replied, “Oh, yes, we will.”
He wasn’t kidding when he said he would devour all fifteen of those minutes. By the time post-coital clarity began to fade, the two of you noticed the time on the clock and sprinted into the bathroom.
As you shared the mirror, putting on makeup while he fixed his hair, Jaehyun asked, “When do you go on maternity leave?”
You leaned toward the mirror, swiping mascara through your lashes, and answered, “I don’t know exactly. I haven’t talked to my boss about it yet.”
Jaehyun lifted his collar and looped a charcoal tie around his neck, matching his crisp suit. “Maybe you should quit,” he said dryly.
You had been ogling him in his well-tailored suit, but any amorous feelings swiftly evaporated at that comment. You stood straight in surprise. “What?”
“Just for a while,” he suggested. “I make more than enough money.”
You frowned. “It’s not about the money. I love my job, Jaehyun. You know that.”
“I know, but… your job has crazy hours and deadlines. And it’s stressful.” His voice was soft; he was concerned, not judgmental.
“So is yours,” you shot back.
Jaehyun finished tying his tie and smoothed down his collar. He still seemed completely oblivious as to how much this conversation was grating on your nerves when he countered, “Yeah, but I’m not carrying a baby.”
You rounded on him, putting your hands squarely on your hips, and asserted, “You’re right. I am. And for that reason, I make decisions about my own life.”
Jaehyun angled toward you, refusing to back down. “It’s not just yours anymore.”
You grumbled, “Please, Jaehyun. We don’t have time for this. I know you don’t want me to work. I know you want me to be dependent on you.”
Jaehyun recoiled. “That’s not fair. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
You raised your voice. “I’m never gonna be a stay at home mom, okay? I want more. I want to be more.”
Jaehyun glared. “Fine. Then, I’ll quit.”
That was the last thing you expected him to say. “What?”
“When the baby is born, I’ll quit my job,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m not letting some stranger raise my kid.”
You sighed with impatience, “You can’t quit your job, Jay. Do you have any idea how much a baby is gonna cost us?”
“I’ll deal with it. You can keep your career and I will raise the baby,” he told you firmly, eyes burning into yours.
You knew it meant a lot to him and this was not a conversation to have when you were both crunched for time. “We’ll talk about this later,” you murmured, offering a temporary surrender.
Jaehyun pecked a very chaste and brief goodbye kiss on your cheek and left the bathroom, saying, “Yes, we will.”
You shook your head and once he was safely out of earshot, you quipped under your breath, “Stubborn ass.”
But damn if you didn’t love him for it.
Reaching down to cradle your little baby bump, you added, “Your Daddy loves you more than anything in the world.”
Nine hours later, the house you shared with Jaehyun was a sight for sore eyes. You dragged your feet inside, tiredly dropped your messenger bag on the nearest table, and plopped onto the sofa.
A voice echoed down the hall, “Babe, are you home?”
You smiled faintly at the pet name and the sweet notes of his voice, and called back, “I’m home.”
Jaehyun appeared a moment later, taking the spot beside you on the couch.
“Hi,” he greeted.
“Hi.”
“I’m sorry about this morning,” he apologized sweetly.
You gave him a look to let him know no harm was done. “I’m sorry, too.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand and told you a moment later, “I ordered dinner. It should be here in a few minutes.”
You practically salivated. “Great. I’m starving.”
Jaehyun bit his lip, inexplicably shy. “I also got some things together if you don’t mind looking at them.”
You arched a brow. “Oh?”
Jaehyun handed you a stack of papers and said, “I spent my lunch break doing some research.”
You scanned the first page and a single word leapt out at you. “Freelance?”
“Yeah, you could do freelance journalism,” Jaehyun began excitedly. “There’s tons of places looking for columnists, commission-based. The place you’re at now doesn’t pay you damn near what you’re worth and they restrict what you write. I know you’ve wanted to branch out and write more interesting things.”
You lowered your head, fighting a smile, and flipped through the pages.
“So doing freelance would give you a lot more freedom. In both time and subject matter,” Jaehyun continued, reaching over to put a hand on your belly.
You stopped at a page and questioned, “Data analyst?”
“Yeah, I…,” Jaehyun started, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I told my boss I want a department change. The guys in the computer division all have the option to work from home whenever they want. There’s still time before the baby comes, I can get on-site training and switch departments.”
You set the papers down in surprise and turned to him, arguing, “Jaehyun, you love having clients and you’re on the fast track to be an executive one day.”
Jaehyun shrugged. “It’s just my job. I don’t love my career the way you do yours. It was never my dream. It pays the bills. No more, no less.”
You were overcome with affection toward him. It filled your chest with warmth and threatened to explode out of you at any second. “You really figured all this out over lunch?”
Jaehyun stroked your growing stomach absentmindedly and crooned, “Baby, you love your career. I don’t. I wouldn’t be sacrificing anything, but you would.”
You leaned your head back against the couch and lost yourself in his eyes, asking tenderly, “What’s your dream, Jaehyun?”
He moved closer, his hand cupping your cheek, and replied, “You know what it is. I want to be a husband and a father. That’s always been my dream. This way, we can both have what we want. I told you, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”
Your heart fluttered at the mere mention of the word husband.
“It’s just a suggestion,” Jaehyun said coolly. “You were right earlier. You’re the one carrying our baby. It’s your choice, but this is my life too. Please just keep that in mind.”
You exhaled heavily. Having Jaehyun in your corner made you feel like you could do anything. Smiling as the happiness crept up on you, you warned, “If I freelance, I may have to travel from time to time.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll be working from home,” Jaehyun replied with a grin. “I would be able to send you minute by minute updates on the baby.”
You chuckled and your eyes welled up. Instead of clipping your wings, he was breaking the door off your cage.
Sliding into his arms, you kissed his lips softly. Jaehyun enclosed you in a hug, kissing your cheek and your jaw.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he whispered.
Resting your head on his taut chest, you crooned, “Thank you for believing in me.”
Jaehyun kissed the top of your head. “Anytime, babe.”
It seemed like your twenty week ultrasound was just around the corner.
Doctor Grant had referred you to an excellent obstetrician named Doctor Hayden. She would be the one taking over your appointments and would ultimately deliver your baby. You liked her no-nonsense personality.
The sonographer squeezed a bottle over your naked belly, warning that the gel would be cold. Next, she pressed the device to your stomach and turned to the screen.
You had one arm behind your head and the other resting on the slope of your stomach where your shirt was folded up out of the way, trying to appear calm and collected despite your excitement. Jaehyun stood beside you, shifting his weight with impatience.
The technician smiled after a minute or two, pressing a few keys, and then swiveled the display toward you and Jaehyun. “Say hello to your baby.”
There, in a three-dimensional sepia toned image was your unborn baby’s face.
“Oh,” you started.
“My god,” Jaehyun finished.
Both of you gawked.
“Hi, baby,” you stammered out.
The sonographer, grinning from ear to ear, pulled a few tissues from the box on her table and held them out over your stomach.
You looked in surprise to see Jaehyun take them, quickly wiping his wet cheeks. “Jaehyun…,” you cooed.
“I’m fine,” he wheezed.
The technician told you everything looked good. Your baby was developing normally and was on par growth-wise with this stage of your pregnancy. She could see no causes for concern.
“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” she asked a moment later.
“I do,” Jaehyun said without hesitation.
You mulled. “I kinda want it to be a surprise.”
“It’s your call,” the technician said, having shifted the screen back to where only she could see.
Jaehyun gazed at you with big, pleading eyes.
You melted on the spot. “Can you tell just him? I’ll turn my head.”
She chuckled. “Of course.”
Jaehyun sported a massive grin the entire drive home.
You stared down at the pictures in your hands, captures of your baby’s face. There were a few traditional black and white ultrasound photos too, but you couldn’t take your eyes off your baby’s cute little nose.
Jaehyun was practically bouncing in the seat as he drove, whistling along to whatever was on the radio.
You beamed at him and said, “You’re happy.”
“I know something you don’t know,” he sang in teasing.
You giggled. His joy was contagious.
Jaehyun took two of the sonograms and pinned them to the refrigerator with magnets. After he scanned them into his phone, of course. He had to pry the close up shot of your baby’s face from your resistant hands and was quick to give it back once he’d captured it in his photo gallery.
You couldn’t stop looking at the picture, subconsciously smoothing a hand up and down your belly. “Okay, I changed my mind,” you called from across the room. “I wanna know - boy or girl?”
Jaehyun gleamed. “Really?”
You said with a nod, “Yeah, I remembered that I hate suspense. On second thought, tell me when the guys get here.”
Jaehyun agreed.
Johnny and Ten were coming over with cake to celebrate. Things had been hectic and busy since you moved in, and the pair had wanted to give you a happy housewarming party plus pregnancy celebration weeks ago.
The door had barely closed behind him as Ten bemoaned, “Is there gonna be a god-awful gender reveal party?”
Jaehyun retorted, “No, the world has enough wildfires.”
“Good,” Ten said with approval.
You were swept up in a hug with Johnny and the moment you parted, you handed him the sonogram photo.
“Holy shit, the bean has a cute nose now,” Johnny exclaimed. He had already begun referring to himself in third-person as Uncle Johnny.
“That’s what I said,” you joked, leaning into Jaehyun when he wrapped an arm around your waist.
Ten snatched the photo from Johnny’s outstretched hand and scanned it over, teeth flashing in a broad smile. “You guys made a baby,” he announced a moment later.
Jaehyun patted your hip. “Yes, we did,” you said with a chuckle.
The four of you ate cake and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Jaehyun couldn’t keep his hands from your stomach and you couldn’t drag your eyes away from his face. There were more than a few moments in the loud chaos that was Johnny and Ten, you and Jaehyun would simply meet each other’s eyes and smile.
He was so blissfully and contentedly happy. And he deserves it, you pondered to yourself. Your attention fell to your stomach. All three of us do.
Halfway through his cake, Ten abruptly whined, “Alright, dude. Out with it! Spill the beans about the little bean. Do I have a niece or nephew on the way?”
Jaehyun glanced around the table, the corner of his mouth lifting in a sheepish smile. Dragging it out for a few seconds just for fun. Then, his eyes finally settled on you when he said, “It’s a girl.”
You gasped, tears burning your eyes. “A baby girl?”
“Yes,” Jaehyun answered, pulling you snugly into his arms. “Our daughter.”
Ten let you and Jaehyun have a brief moment of sweetness before teasing, “You know what that means, Jaehyun?”
Jaehyun groaned as if he were in pain, “Yes.”
Ten was mischief incarnate. “You’re gonna have to meet your daughter’s boyfriend one day.”
“I will kill you,” Jaehyun snapped. Johnny snorted a laugh.
“Ten, don’t antagonize him,” you snickered, rubbing Jaehyun’s shoulder soothingly.
Johnny chimed in, “She could have a girlfriend. You never know.”
“True,” you said.
“I know that for now she’s mine,” Jaehyun asserted. “I have many, many years before I gotta share her with anyone else.”
You exclaimed, “What about me?”
Jaehyun softened and kissed your temple. “You know what I mean.”
That night, you crawled tiredly into bed, wearing one of Jaehyun’s loose-fitting shirts over some sweatpants. Your breasts were overly sensitive and full of milk, and his soft tees were perfect for sleeping in.
Jaehyun was leaning back against the headboard, sporting nothing but boxers, and lifted his arm as you snuggled close, draping his hand on your waist. You rested your head on his thigh, winding down after such an eventful day, and you smiled as you realized these quiet intimate moments with Jaehyun were your favorite.
Every night, the two of you would talk about anything and everything on your minds. Jaehyun was the type that struggled to express his feelings and the late-night talks helped him work out whatever bothered him. You were the only one he trusted implicitly with his deepest thoughts, refusing to show vulnerability to anyone else.
“Real talk,” Jaehyun suddenly said.
“Let’s hear it.”
He chewed over the words for a second or two and spoke his worries aloud, “I’m going to be the father of a daughter.”
You chuckled. Of course that was still on his mind. “Yes.”
“I’m scared shitless.”
You sat up, meeting his eyes, and confessed in a whisper, “Me, too.”
“No, but…,” he trailed, face tense with worry. “What am I supposed to do?”
You tilted your head curiously. “What do you mean?”
“I must protect her every minute of every day. This is not a safe world for girls.”
You pressed a hand to his thigh and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know that,” you said, somber and grave.
Fire lit inside Jaehyun’s gaze, evidence of his passion of which you were all too familiar with, but this was different. It was darker, more dangerous. The paternal instincts were in full sway. “If someone tries to touch her, I will have to kill them,” he hissed through clenched jaws.
“Well…,” you started. In no way did you disagree, because a mother’s instincts were just as deadly.
“That wasn’t a question,” he interjected.
“Babe.”
Jaehyun buried his face in the crook of your neck, tightening his arms around you. “I’m losing my fucking mind,” he groaned against your skin. “I will be in fight mode every single day. Can you handle that?”
You cradled his face in your hands and said, “First of all, I love you for that.”
“Thank you.”
Already you pictured him camped out beside the crib. You had a feeling Jaehyun would never have a full night's sleep again for as long as he lived once the baby was born.
You tugged him back to press a swift kiss to his lips and continued, “And second, it’s going to be fine. You’re going to be an amazing father to our daughter because not only will you protect her - always - but you will also teach her to protect herself.”
Jaehyun melted. It was exactly what he needed to hear. “Yeah?”
You nuzzled his nose with your own, overflowing with love toward him. “She will be so strong because of you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” you assured him. And you did. There was not a single shred of doubt in your mind that Jaehyun would be a great father.
Jaehyun sighed, the weight slipping from his chest. His broad hand came to rest on your belly and he gathered you close, guiding you to lay on top of him. And that was how you slept.
The third trimester came with the change of seasons. Summer turned to autumn. The trees changed colors, vibrant collages of red, orange and yellow. With a nip in the air, jackets and boots were always ready by the front door.
Your changes were marked by a shift in gait. There was more of a waddle to your movements, catering to the great swell of your belly. Your sex drive slowed, but your hormones skyrocketed. And your growing baby became more active inside of you.
“Oh my god, this is insane,” Jaehyun cried out, his hand on your naked belly.
Curled up beside him on the couch, a foot was extending at the top of your stomach and Jaehyun couldn't stop touching it. It was mind-blowing that his baby was moving around in your womb so vigorously, reaching out a hand on occasion when a foot wasn’t aiming for the nearest organ.
“She’s strong,” you commented, having been a little perturbed at your nap cut short. But one look at the joy on Jaehyun’s face banished that thought.
Jaehyun teased his finger over your stomach, enticing the little foot again to give chase. Your daughter kicked and stretched, working her muscles as Doctor Hayden had explained. She was more active than ever, especially when you were staying still.
Her favorite organ for target practice, of course, seemed to be your bladder. Which you swore was shrinking smaller and smaller by the day. Well, at least it provided her with a little more of a challenge.
Jaehyun kissed your belly endlessly, chuckling when a foot collided with his mouth. You carded your fingers into his hair, stroking affectionately.
He hadn’t pressed the issue of your work, but you knew you were cutting it close. The more your pregnancy advanced, the more your priorities began to change. Jaehyun had done as he planned, transitioning smoothly to the tech division of his company.
And in typical Jeong Jaehyun fashion, he was excelling and thriving.
He had the freedom to work from home now and to both his and your surprise, Jaehyun actually really liked it. He was able to make his quotas without the stress of dealing with management or hard to please clients. Jaehyun’s boss in tech was laid-back. As long as you got your work done, you could come and go as you pleased, according to him.
The sight of Jaehyun in a home office behind a desk pleased you more than it probably should have. Jaehyun had already made space for a baby rocker beside his chair though he had since bought a number of koala carriers that would keep your daughter tightly cradled to his chest while he worked.
At this point you were convinced Jaehyun would probably never let her out of his sight the moment she left your womb.
Weekends were spent relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. You and Jaehyun had a birthing class once a week and you were harshly confronted with the reality of labor and delivery. After a long conversation with Doctor Hayden, you decided to try natural childbirth though you opted out of giving birth at home in an overabundance of caution.
Jaehyun breathed a little easier in relief at that. Though he was exceptionally pale after watching the forty-five minute long video about childbirth in class.
As your due date loomed, you joked that your stomach entered a room five minutes before you did. You had to head for the bathroom the very moment you felt like peeing or else you probably wouldn’t make it in time.
On a brisk Friday morning, you peered into the office space across from the bedroom and said, “I’m off to work, Jay. See you for dinner.”
Jaehyun stopped typing and gave you a smile, wishing you a good day. He had become more perturbed at you working in your heavily pregnant state, but he didn’t nag. Given your stubbornness, nothing he said would dissuade you.
Little did he know you had a meeting with your boss that morning.
Jaehyun leapt in his chair when he heard the front door slam an hour later. Racing downstairs, he caught a glimpse of you and panicked. “What’s wrong?”
“I quit my job,” you announced, slinging off your jacket and tossing it vaguely in the direction of the coat rack.
Jaehyun ran up to you, hands going straight to your robust belly like magnets, and searched your face for distress. “What happened?”
“Well,” you began, grasping his arm and waddling your way over to the couch. “I told my boss that I love my job and because I love it so much I never asked him for anything, but I was asking for more flexibility so I can raise my child.”
Jaehyun helped you lower onto the sofa, as he always did, and asked, “What did he say?”
“Nope,” you answered, mimicking your boss’ tone. “So I quit.”
Jaehyun bristled, sitting down next to you and setting his jaw in anger.
You turned to him, shaking your head. “You know what he said? He begged me to stay.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened.
“He brought in the owner and they offered to double my salary. Then triple it! You were right, they could have afforded to pay me fairly this whole time.”
Jaehyun clenched his teeth. He was already mentally rehearsing giving them a piece of his mind in the near future. Paternal instincts had suckerpunched his fear of confrontation into the atmosphere. “Bunch of bastards,” Jaehyun hissed under his breath.
“Yeah,” you agreed emphatically. “Boss said I was responsible for the largest share of articles. Thirty-two percent! I never knew that. Without me, they lose a third of their workforce. I’ve been doing what two to three people have been doing this whole time!”
“You love the work. They took advantage of your passion,” Jaehyun said gently. He’d suspected that all along.
“Well, I’m out of there,” you huffed, patting your belly affectionately. You then turned to Jaehyun and joked, “Is it alright if I crash here until I get back on my swollen feet?”
“Only if you can tolerate having me as a roommate,” Jaehyun quipped.
“I’ll manage,” you said, bringing his arm across the top of your stomach and lacing your fingers through his.
Jaehyun sighed. “I’m proud of you. I know starting over is scary.”
“I’m excited to do the freelance thing. I have a whole portfolio of published articles to market myself with. It will be hard, but I can do it.”
“Yes, you can.”
You smiled a little wider. “I can write about whatever I want now, Jay. I’m unstoppable!”
“I know,” he murmured, kissing your cheek.
You suddenly remembered that it was still early in the day and exclaimed, “Oh, shit. You’re supposed to be working.”
Jaehyun waved you away, but he did get to his feet. “Do I need to call in?”
“No, no,” you quickly responded. “We need to save those call outs for when we really need them.” You gave his butt a smack, urging him to go. “Get back to work. I’ll probably clean a bit.”
Jaehyun grimaced. “Okay, but don’t stay on your feet too much. Promise?”
“Promise.”
Jaehyun returned to his computer, leaving the door open and making you swear to call for him the moment you needed something. You agreed.
He let go a deep breath in relief. Though he didn't expect you to quit, Jaehyun was downright happy it worked out that way. That place would undoubtedly make you prioritize your assignments over your baby. Bunch of greedy assholes.
In your head you were thinking of things to do. You drifted into the nursery, tempted to organize baby clothes and supplies compulsively for the hundredth time. For the most part, you just liked being in there, smiling at the bright little room. It stilled your wildly beating heart.
Your baby shower had been delightful the week before and you felt confident that you were well-equipped and fully stocked with everything a newborn would need. Boxes of diapers were stacked in a tower in the corner and every mother you knew asserted that your baby would go through them in the blink of an eye.
The breast pump still got a chuckle out of you; it was the goofiest looking contraption. Jaehyun had put it up to his ears like headphones and made you laugh uncontrollably. You weren’t particularly looking forward to using the thing, but it was imperative to always have one on hand, your birthing class told you.
Settling into the rocking chair beside the crib, you put up your feet and fell asleep. The wider your belly got, the harder it was to sleep comfortably in bed at night. A nap never failed to hit the spot just right.
You woke with a jolt, surprised to find tears gathering in your eyes. Adrenaline prickled up the back of your neck and hormones smothered your throat, making it hard to breathe.
Before you knew what hit you, you were crying your eyes out.
Jaehyun leapt up the moment his lunch break started and went in search of you. He called your name from the hall, instincts guiding him straight into the nursery where you liked to think and relax.
Seeing your face flushed with tears, Jaehyun felt his heart give out. He raced up to you, kneeling between your legs and taking your face in his hands. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you okay?”
“I quit my job,” you whimpered. “I can’t believe I did that. How stupid!”
“Honey, a few hours ago you were so happy about it. Those idiots were taking advantage of you,” Jaehyun reminded patiently, swiping his thumbs through your endless tears.
You gripped him tightly, hoisting yourself up with great effort and pressing your hands into your aching lower back. “I can’t quit my job. I have to support a baby.”
“You have me. I will take care of the bills until your freelance work gets going. Just focus on the baby for now and…”
“I can’t do that! What if I don’t have you? I won’t always have you, Jaehyun,” you argued. Hormones snagged your heart between its claws and promptly crushed it with force.
Jaehyun sighed, “Of course you’ll always have me. What are you saying?”
You were too much of a wreck to explain that you had no safety net now. If Jaehyun left, you would have no way of supporting yourself and a baby. You were in full panic now. It was too scary relying on him.
Especially when you’d spent your entire life relying on no one but yourself.
Instead of voicing that thought, your emotions and hormones collided and the words that came out were bitter, “I fucked up. Now, I’ll never know if you would have stayed with me or if you just had to because you got me pregnant.”
Jaehyun bristled and his hands fell from your body like you were made of electricity. Face tensing with anger, he snapped, “First of all, tell that ugly little voice in your head to shut the fuck up. I’ve been dealing with her for years and I’m sick of it!”
You rooted in place, stunned, and yelled, “Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun crowded closer toward you and continued, “Second of all, I have done nothing but tell you and show you that I love you and want to be with you. So that part of you that keeps convincing you that I’m just waiting to leave can kiss my ass.”
You had never seen this side of him before and it flushed any and all fear or anger out of your system. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you huffed, “You’ve made your point.”
“Oh, I’m just getting warmed up,” he barked, folding his arms tightly. “For years you’ve pushed me away and bossed me around, and I’m not letting you do that anymore. If anyone is gonna walk away, it will be you because I’m staying right here.”
You blinked through a fresh surge of tears and slumped with defeat. Your daughter kicked you incessantly, telling you in her own way to stop. “You’re right,” you whispered sadly.
Jaehyun frowned.
You wiped at your tears with a rough hand, ashamed. “I’ve always had to take care of myself. I’ve always had to do it on my own. I’ve always been the only one that was there for me and then you came along. I didn’t trust it. I didn’t believe someone could love me and stay by me, but you have. You have never given up on me, even when I gave up on myself, and that’s why I know I’ll always love you.”
Heaving a sigh that served to banish all of his heavy emotions, Jaehyun met your eyes.
You sobbed, “Jaehyun, you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.”
Jaehyun pulled you into his arms and held you tight as you cried. He rested his cheek on your head, swaying you a little from side to side as he felt faint, persistent kicks against his stomach where your pregnant belly touched.
You cried until all of your tears were spent and then you willed yourself to come up for air, peering up at the love of your life and quipping, “You done putting me in my place?”
Jaehyun met your gaze sternly and rasped, “Did I get it done?”
“Yeah,” you said tiredly. “I’m good.”
“Good.”
You groaned and your voice trembled, “Please, for the love of god. Don’t let our daughter turn out like me.”
Jaehyun slipped a hand into your hair and tipped your head until your eyes didn’t stray from his warm brown irises. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he scolded. “You’re the most amazing person I know.”
You burned with warmth at that, melting in his arms, and cooed, “But you’re the most amazing person that I know.”
Jaehyun said, “Well, then our baby is in good hands. She’s gonna be just fine.”
You took a deep breath and let it go, attention shifting to Jaehyun’s pouty lips and how badly you wanted to kiss them. “These fucking hormones,” you whined, rising to your tiptoes and pressing your mouth to his.
Jaehyun chuckled into the kiss, smoothing his hands down your back.
“Sex is getting interesting,” you murmured, on your back in bed.
“Creative,” Jaehyun interjected, holding your knee hooked on his hip. “Creative sounds better.”
You chortled. “Okay.”
Jaehyun made a small noise of pleasure when he bottomed out in your sweet cunt again, back arching as he drove inside you. “How long do you think you can tolerate this position?” he asked a moment later.
“Thirty seconds at best,” you told him, trembling at how deep he thrust. It felt even tighter. “Your daughter is sitting on my spine.”
Jaehyun glanced up, shaking hair damp with sweat from his eyes. “She’s asleep though, right?”
“Yes, Jaehyun. She’s asleep,” you droned, resisting a laugh.
“I’m assuming doggy style is out of the question?”
“I want my back blown out, but not literally.”
Jaehyun snorted.
You winced and groaned, “That thirty seconds is almost up.”
Jaehyun pulled out of you. “Alright,” he said, steering you to lay on your side and entering you from behind. “How about this?”
You set your nails into his thigh and moaned. “Better.”
Things changed between you and Jaehyun after that day. You were at peace, comfortable with relying on him and letting him take the lead. For the entirety of your relationship, you fought him for the reins, never realizing that you selfishly held them at all times.
Never allowing yourself to trust him.
Now, the dynamic shifted. Jaehyun was at the helm and you accepted how he navigated the seas in both storm and sunshine. This was a partnership of equals and you both shared the responsibilities, but with him supporting you - physically and emotionally - you were free to focus on becoming a mom.
Quitting your job brought your priorities into view, front and center. You were finally aware of your impending due date. Drowning yourself in work had let you blithely ignore just how close your daughter’s arrival loomed.
After your last ultrasound before delivery, you and Jaehyun spent the entire car ride home considering names. But both of you agreed that you wanted to hold her and see her face before you settled on one that would best suit her.
A large suitcase stayed by the front door at all times, ready to go on a moment’s notice. It had everything your birthing class had advised you to take to the hospital when it came time to deliver.
Every time you laid eyes on it, you prickled with anticipation like you had been struck by lightning.
You stood there a lingering moment, stroking your belly as you sang, “I’m ready when you are, little one.”
Your kicking baby only kicked harder.
You chuckled, glancing down at your belly with affection. You couldn’t see your feet anymore. Your breasts and stomach were enormous, which said nothing for the state of your ankles. Your back hurt at all times and your bladder was probably the size of a pea, but nothing could dampen your excitement.
Whenever the pain or discomfort began to push your limits, you simply closed your eyes and pictured holding your baby in your arms at long last. It felt like you’d been waiting an eternity to meet her.
In the midst of preparing dinner, you waddled into the kitchen and hugged Jaehyun from behind. He smiled with delight, never quite getting over how it felt to have your big belly pressed to his back. But he loved when he felt a solid kick.
“Smells good, babe,” you told him, peeking past his shoulder at the stew he was working on. It was his mother’s recipe and the woman was a cook blessed by the gods. She had plans to fly in with Jaehyun’s father next week to meet their new grandchild and Jaehyun could hardly contain himself.
“It’s almost done,” Jaehyun replied, looking devilishly handsome in his apron. Not that he needed it, but the apron looked so good on him he chose to don it whenever he was in the kitchen just to get a reaction from your hormones.
You squeezed a handful of his butt and flirted, “I’m hungry.”
Jaehyun grunted at your playful grip on his ass and murmured, “It will be worth the wait.”
You smirked wryly and hobbled to the adjoining dining room to set the table. Jaehyun tried to talk you out of it, but you liked staying active. It distracted you from the ache in your back.
When dinner was finished, you and Jaehyun cleaned up and washed dishes together. Even when it was mundane, you just loved being around him. He was officially on paternity leave and the days were spent on final preparations and rest. When the baby came, sleep would more than likely be a precious commodity, which was also why you were looking forward to his mother moving in for the first month or two.
“I have a dilemma,” Jaehyun spoke up when you were getting ready for bed.
Having just pulled back the comforter to crawl underneath, you stopped, brows furrowing. “What’s wrong?”
Jaehyun scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I… got you something, but you’ve made a couple comments about your swollen fingers.”
You held up your hands, which looked particularly chunky. Edema, Doctor Hayden told you it was called. Fluid retention, she explained. Just like your ankles.
Jaehyun approached, fishing something out of his pocket and holding it out to you.
You noticed the necklace first, then your eyes fell to the ring hanging from it. You gawked when realization sank in. Opening your mouth to speak, you were left dumbstruck when Jaehyun opened his other hand to show a matching ring.
“I was worried yours wouldn’t fit right now, so I got a chain for it.”
You questioned, “Rings?”
“Yeah, rings,” Jaehyun said, relieved when you offered an open palm for him to drop the necklace onto. “It’s a promise that one day we’re going to get married.”
You held the ring in your fingers and looked at it with happy tears in your eyes. At his words, you looked up sharply. “Really?”
Jaehyun nodded. “Yeah, maybe when our girl is big enough to scatter flowers down the aisle.”
A tear or two escaped, rolling down your cheeks, and you sighed, “I would love that.”
Jaehyun gleamed. “You would?”
“Yes,” you said with longing. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted that till you pictured your daughter scattering rose petals on an aisle. You imagined a wedding photo over the fireplace in the living room; of you in a sleek gown and Jaehyun in a fitting tux.
And your daughter held between you and him. Where she rightfully belonged.
It felt meant to be. Like this was where your life was supposed to go.
At that moment, you had never felt so abundantly happy.
“Me, too,” Jaehyun finally replied with moisture weighing down his deep voice.
For the next few hours, you slept soundly in his arms, content and knowing all was right in the little world you shared with Jaehyun.
It started as a tickle.
You could only describe the sensation as little flutters across your stomach, akin to someone running their fingertips back and forth. With a quick glance at the nightstand and seeing that it was just past midnight, you paid it no mind and tried to go back to sleep.
At nearly two in the morning, you were roused a bit more persistently. The tugging in your stomach was firmer, more intense. You were reminded of period cramps, but with the added pressure of a baby sitting very low between your hips.
“Whew, alright, okay,” you huffed, propping a hand on the doorframe of the bathroom. You took steadying breaths, panic flooding into your chest.
You weren’t due for another week and a half.
“It’s probably Braxton-Hicks,” you told yourself. Both your doctor and the birthing class warned that you could have contractions but not be in labor. They were just practice contractions, the uterus flexing its muscles as it were in preparation.
Waddling at a snail’s pace back to bed, you sat down and gripped the edge of the mattress in both hands on opposite sides of your legs. Blowing out another breath, you focused on the tightening in your stomach and willed it to calm. When the contraction ran its course, you relaxed and slipped back into bed.
Jaehyun was none the wiser, so sound asleep an earthquake would probably fail to wake him. At night was when he fully recharged his batteries and this process was never disturbed.
Needless to say, Jaehyun almost tumbled off the bed when you shook his chest and shouted at the top of your lungs, “Jeong Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun leapt to action, startled like a deer in headlights with wide, terrified eyes in oncoming traffic, and exclaimed, “What? What?”
You were sitting up, hands cradling your big belly, and your breaths were heavy. You inhaled through grit teeth, jaws clenched tight. “I’m having contractions,” you managed to snarl.
Jaehyun froze in place. The gears turned in his head and adrenaline promptly socked him across the face. “You’re not due for another week and a half,” he exclaimed, scrambling out of bed and racing to the dresser.
“I know,” you replied calmly, focused on breathing. “I’ve been ignoring these since midnight, but they’re getting worse.”
Jaehyun squinted at the clock, saw that it was almost five in the morning, and scolded, “You should have woke me right away!”
You watched him pull on a pair of jeans over his boxers and said, “I assumed that they’re just the practice ones. You know, the - ow, son of a bitch, here comes another one!”
Jaehyun, a shirt halfway around his neck, raced over to you and took your hands. “Babe, how far apart are they?”
You craned your head back and cried out. Someone had wrapped an invisible belt around your stomach and was tightening it mercilessly.
Jaehyun didn’t say anything else until the contraction had passed and you returned your eyes to him.
“A few minutes,” you finally answered, sweat beading at your hairline. “I think this is the real thing, Jaehyun. I can’t explain it.”
“I believe you,” he said, pulling his shirt on the rest of the way. “Can you get dressed?”
You nodded. “Between contractions, I’m okay.”
Jaehyun helped you up from the bed and then proceeded to grab your clothes. You were struggling to take off your pants given the full breadth of your pregnant belly, but had managed to kick them off by the time Jaehyun approached.
Then, you felt something warm and wet between your legs, followed by a very quiet splash.
“What was that?” you exclaimed. Due to your breasts and belly, you couldn’t see the fluid on your feet. But you could feel it.
Jaehyun’s eyes followed down your legs and he asked, “Did you pee or is that what I think it is?”
“My water just broke,” you gasped, flying headfirst into a panic.
“Don’t panic,” Jaehyun barked, as if he could suddenly read your mind. He crouched down and used your discarded pajamas to dab your legs dry, then helped you step into your pants.
You held his shoulders for balance and said, “I’m keeping on the t-shirt. Fuck putting on a bra. I’m in labor I don’t need it. We gotta go.”
“Agreed.”
It was a slow and tedious process getting downstairs. Not only were you terrified that at any point your baby would come shooting out from between your legs, but the contractions were extra spiteful now that your water had broken. You had to stop and wait for them to pass, swearing and groaning all the while, before you could resume walking.
Jaehyun draped a towel over the passenger seat and helped you lower into the car. Once your seatbelt was fastened, he tore out of the driveway and onto the main road.
“Jay, listen to me,” you started, putting a hand on his arm. “My contractions are far enough apart. Don’t speed.”
“Got it,” Jaehyun said, gripping the wheel and holding his phone with the other. Doctor Hayden answered on the third ring, her voice drowsy with sleep, but she perked up immediately when Jaehyun explained you were on the way to the hospital.
“Ow, ow, ow,” you began to chant, setting your fingernails into whatever you could find purchase on as a contraction barreled into you.
Jaehyun hung up when Doctor Hayden told him she was on her way and shot you a worried glance. “Breathe, baby,” he called over your profanity-laced yelling. “You have to…”
“I can’t fucking breathe,” you screamed, arching in the seat as pain radiated from the core of your body. When the contraction tapered off, you came back to your senses, shaking your head.
“Okay?” Jaehyun asked.
You shook your head even more. “Holy shit, that hurts.”
Jaehyun could only imagine.
Though you had been dreading giving birth in a hospital bed, you found yourself grateful for the guard rails on both sides. They were perfect for holding onto when you were enduring another contraction.
On the phone, Jaehyun was speaking in his mother tongue. You could pick out some words here and there, but you were safe in assuming he was talking to his parents.
They would need to fly out much sooner than originally planned.
Jaehyun hung up the phone and approached you, taking your hand again. “How are you?”
You grumbled, “This sucks ass.”
Jaehyun looked pale. “I’m sorry.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and hissed, “I really don’t like you right now.”
He resisted a chuckle, knowing better than to tempt your wrath. “I don’t blame you.”
You sneered, “Just had to hit it raw. Just had to be so good at sex, didn’t you? I hate you.”
Jaehyun ran a thumb over your knuckles and said, “Squeeze my hand until it breaks.”
When the contractions were gone, clarity returned. You leaned your head back into the pillow and stared at the monitor, the one recording your baby’s heartbeat. You loved the rhythm, clinging to every single beep.
Doctor Hayden assured you all was progressing normally. Her soothing voice helped put you at ease. She told you to think about your baby when the pain pushed your limits.
The contractions came faster and harder.
“I’m an idiot,” you roared vehemently. “Why would you let me do this?”
Jaehyun stared at you incredulously. “What do you mean?”
“All natural? What the hell was I thinking?”
“You were very specific,” Doctor Hayden chimed in from the end of the bed, dressed in green scrubs with a mask over her nose and mouth.
She was perched between your legs, your feet up in the stirrups. It was time to push.
You turned to the nurse. “I want the epidural.”
Her face was expressionless, gloved hands holding your knee. “That ship has sailed,” she said calmly.
“Fuck that,” you spat, turning back to Jaehyun. His hand was on your other knee. “This is a conspiracy. Get me drugs. I need drugs now!”
Jaehyun peered over at Doctor Hayden, though he already knew the answer, and demanded, “Give her something.”
Cool and collected as ever, Doctor Hayden responded, “We don’t have anything to give her.”
You wailed as another contraction ripped through your body.
Doctor Hayden clocked a weathered glance at Jaehyun and spoke quietly, “Calm her down.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand and crooned, “Baby, you can do this. You’re doing great.”
“You’re a shit liar,” you panted. You were convinced that given the searing pain between your legs, you were currently being torn apart from the inside. The pressure in your body felt strong enough to break through bones. “You always have been.”
Jaehyun didn’t argue. He had never been so scared in his entire life. Every memory he had of fear seemed like paradise compared to this moment. He was beyond terrified.
Doctor Hayden called your name and said, “Big push now.”
You both hated and appreciated how unbothered she was in this situation. Tucking your knees closer to your chest, you bore down with all of your might, vaguely aware of the nurse counting down from ten in the background.
Fuck the stirrups. The nurses were holding your feet now. You needed more leverage.
“Again,” Doctor Hayden pressed.
You sucked in a quick breath and did as told. Pushing was the tiniest relief you got from the crushing pain of contractions. After another count of ten, you were instructed to rest and breathe for a few precious seconds. You slumped back into the bed, woozy.
Jaehyun pressed his lips to the back of your hand for a long moment, eyes fixated on your face. It was unreal. He was looking at you through brand new eyes. How the fuck was someone capable of this much pain without even passing out?
He smoothed a hand over your bare thigh. Never in his life had Jaehyun felt so utterly helpless.
Breathing heavily, your eyes batted with exhaustion and you spoke feebly, “I’m running out of strength.”
Doctor Hayden’s voice seemed distant, but her tone sliced through you like a blade. “Then, you renegotiate with your body to find more strength for your baby.”
Tears clouded your vision as another contraction started. Every inch of you began to shake. You had reached your limit.
Baby, you thought. Think of the baby. My baby. You looked at Jaehyun. Our baby.
“Please get her out,” you whimpered.
“One more push.”
You screamed at the top of your lungs.
All of the blood in your body seemed to be rushing to your head, pounding in your ears. Breathing felt like the hardest chore. Agony was all you knew. You couldn’t believe what your heart was able to endure without giving out entirely.
Then, something landed on your chest and it all vanished in an instant.
A high-pitched cry stole your attention. Someone grabbed your wrists and placed your hands on whatever was now resting on your breasts. You glanced down quickly to see your baby, screaming at the rough hands wiping her little body with a towel.
You blinked through the tears to clear your vision, forcing them to roll in steady streams down your cheeks. “Hi, baby girl,” you rasped. “Hi.”
You had just met her and already your daughter owned you - heart and mind, body and soul.
Jaehyun stood beside you, eyes wide and mouth parted. He was in disbelief and awe. His daughter let her feelings be known, screeching at any who could hear. Jaehyun ran a hand down his face, still in shock.
“Congratulations, you two,” said Doctor Hayden, smiling. “She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” you and Jaehyun stammered out in perfect sync, lost for breath. And words.
Your baby calmed a little with the steady thumping of your heart beneath her, just as exhausted as you were and rightfully so. Jaehyun hovered above you, his hand smoothing your hair back from your sweaty forehead. He lingered a kiss on your brow and you stared up at him in wonder. You had just brought a little extra light into the world.
And she was beautiful.
It seemed like an eternity passed for Jaehyun until he was instructed to sit on the adjacent chair and take off his shirt. The baby was put on his naked chest for skin to skin contact and he held her carefully like she was made of the most fragile glass.
You lay there in the hospital bed, blinking slowly with exhaustion, but also contentment. Jaehyun spoke quietly to his daughter in his mother tongue, patting her back over the blanket draped across them both. You could only see a glimpse of her rosy cheeks, but you knew she was nestled in the safest place in the world - Jaehyun’s arms.
Father and daughter had a moment where her eyes locked with his and didn’t let go.
And she looked thoroughly unimpressed with the situation.
Jaehyun snorted with relief and joy at her expression. He was out of his mind, consumed from head to toe in unconditional love for his baby.
She looked like him. Her cheeks were adorably round and full. She had his mouth and chin and nose. But her eyes were all yours.
Jaehyun glanced up at you, sensing your gaze on him, and flushed bashfully. “She’s so small,” he murmured, voice trembling.
“Yeah,” was all you had the energy to say. You were cleaned up and tucked into bed, and though there was a persistent pain in the core of your body, you didn’t bat an eye at it.
She was more than worth it. After giving birth, you were convinced you could do anything. One look at your baby girl was pure magic.
Jaehyun sniffed and the tears rolled down his cheeks. “Don’t tell the boys I cried,” he quipped lightly.
“Cry, Jaehyun,” you whispered, hoarse. “She’s worth crying over.”
Jaehyun was inclined to agree. He gave you an indescribable look that conveyed a love more than words ever could, a look you would never forget as long as you lived, and smiled before craning down to kiss the top of her head, smoothing his hand over her dark hair.
When she was back in your arms, suckling peacefully at your breast, you turned to Jaehyun and simpered. Jaehyun didn’t hesitate to lean in and seal his lips to yours in a kiss that made your heart skip a beat.
“Jaehyun?”
“Yeah?”
You quipped, “I am never having sex again.”
Considering the past few hours, Jaehyun chuckled and though he knew it was a lie, replied, “That’s fair.”
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These works are fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but are licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.
copyright 2020 - 2021 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) all rights reserved
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theje0ngs · 28 days ago
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“...four things”
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SUMMARY: there are four things that you discovered about your boyfriend. PAIRING: jaehyun x fem reader GENRE/CATEGORY: smut, non-idol!au, college!au WORD COUNT: 2k CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+, oral (fem receiving), hairpulling, mentions of drunk people, alcohol/liquor is present, daddy kink, nipple play(?), protected sex (reader is on the pill!), fingering, profanity GELA SAYS: i rushed this bc??? hello??? sm gave us a college!nct 😭 bet one of their staffs are reading aus or shit lmao and again !! if there are any offensive or wrong parts, please let me know! i’ll immediately edit them or delete the part. thank you and enjoy!
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the sun had risen over and seeped in through the small openings of the curtains. you had spent the night and pulled an all-nighter with your boyfriend, who needed to complete his programming project and you needed to study for an exam. god sure did take his sweet time creating jaehyun - because no one can be that attractive and at the same time, genius. the way his fingers press each key when he typed, the way he poked his tongue on his cheek and licked his lips as he focused on encoding, the man’s straight out of a romantic book.
the weight on your waist and hot breath on your neck woke you up from your deep slumber.  it was not the sunlight that woke you up, but the weight on the other side of the bed did. jaehyun’s arm was resting on your waist under your (his) favorite captain america grey shirt. “good morning,” jaehyun’s raspy voice greets then proceeds to plant kisses on your exposed shoulder “didn’t notice you went to sleep earlier than i did. i’m sorry.”
“hmm, it’s alright and by the way, it’s a miracle that i focused on reading books instead of you- you looked fucking hot when you were coding last night.” you chuckled, rolling over to kiss him. “it’s already 9, i should probably go and get ready. i told mina i’m grabbing brunch with her before the exam.”
jaehyun’s strong arms kept you from getting out of the bed, he hovered over you, keeping your body under him and making sure you couldn’t move around. he attacked your lips with wet kisses, his tongue dominating yours while his fingers worked on lifting your shirt. you could feel the angry tent on his pajama pants, causing you to smirk. “can’t let you go without a little treat, baby.” he whispers against your lips before moving to your neck.
“babe, we really can’t do this right now; we have finals and ooh-” you moaned when you felt his fingertips pinch your now hard nipples. “fine, but let's be quick alright?”
“stay still, baby. i'll do most of the work.” he said, lowering himself down until he met your hips. he proudly pulls down your shorts, leaving you in your underwear.
jaehyun pushes your red underwear to the side and placed kisses everywhere except where you want him to focus. you were starting to get annoyed; you were already in the mood but he’s taking things really, really slow. you let out an annoyed groan, causing jaehyun to chuckle. he pressed a soft kiss on your clit before letting his tongue lick the wetness that formed when he started. he started licking long strips on your slit and fuck, you tasted good. so sweet, so warm and so perfect for him.
your moans were music to his ears, the way your back arches and the way your fingers pull his locks drives him crazy. when did i get so lucky? he thought. jaehyun opens his eyes and looked up, you were pressing your head back on his soft pillows and god you looked so hot. he hummed which sent vibrations on your clit, causing you to pull his hair a little harder. he wouldn’t admit it, but he sure loves it when you pull his hair - he takes it as a compliment that he’s doing good and he’s making you feel good. 
“jaehyun, ah, fuck! i’m going to cum.” you moaned, feeling your orgasm closer and closer. despite you telling him you were near; he was nowhere near stopping. he gripped your thighs much harder as he continued, and it was making you crazy. his hand rested on your right boob, squeezing them gently as you let out a loud moan, “jaehyun fuck, stop! it’s too much!”
your fingers intertwined with his as you came, panting so hard as you tried to catch your breath. satisfied, jaehyun pulled away from you and smiled. “you taste wonderful.” he said, standing up. you look at him, wanting to return the favor, but you were interrupted.
“JESUS, FUCK, IT’S 9 IN THE FUCKING MORNING!” you heard doyoung yell from next door, causing the two of you to giggle. “DON’T EVEN THINK OF FUCKING RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!”
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throughout the day, all jaehyun wishes was to get you on his bed and have sex. but it seems like his plans will be pushed back for a bit. i should’ve done it earlier. he thought, grabbing a red cup, and poured himself a liquor.
dating a famous frat boy meant you had to attend one of the parties they were hosting. drunk boys and girls holding the signature red cups, and some are even in the pool, skinny dipping. during a fun and wild truth or dare game in one of the biggest parties that sigma chi held tonight, jaehyun was asked what his favorite part of your body was. he got flustered and the cat got his tongue, so he ended up doing body shots with you as a consequence for not answering. the way jaehyun licked the salt off your neck, took the shot from your belly button. if his friends weren’t around, he probably fucked you on that table already.
“you okay?” you innocently whisper in his ear; you were too close and it’s sending weird butterflies on his stomach. 
“no, i want to kiss and make love to you, but i don’t think we can escape these people.” he whispered back, gently biting your earlobe. 
“ooh, i like that idea.” you smirked, “hey guys, i think yuno has had enough. i’ll bring him upstairs.” 
the name yuno sent shivers down his spine; you knew how much he loved hearing you call him that. a bunch of whines and boos were thrown at the two of you, causing you to laugh. “boo! the jung jaehyun has already reached his limit? the almighty jung jaehyun?!” his best friend, johnny shouted earning a middle finger from him.
“let him, john! he might be getting some good loving tonight!” yuta chimed in as you pulled jaehyun to stand up.
“shut up, we’re going to sleep because this man-” you answer, wrapping your arms around his waist, “is loaded with alcohol and i don’t want him to puke all over the cards. now, if you’ll excuse us…”
away from the loud and large crowd, the two of you enter his secluded bedroom where you spend most of your free days with him. his room was far different from the others as what you’ve seen, the neutral paint of the room and his stuff looked neat and felt homey. you felt his hands snake from behind as he started to place wet kisses on your exposed neck, just by feeling his lips on your skin makes your knees weak. you could feel the growing tent on your ass, you could tell that he was feeling horny for a while now. jaehyun’s hands wander under your (his) hoodie, his fingers finding their way to unbutton your denim shorts and once he successfully removes most of your clothing, he pushed you on his bed - leaving you with nothing but that red lingerie that drives him crazy.
“jesus, fuck, y/n…” he mutters, his finger running through the mound of your breasts, feeling the lace of your bra. “red looks good on you.”
you smiled and turned to face him, “of course, i know how much you love red. now are you going to fuck my brains out or…?”
jaehyun sat on his bed and pulled you over him, you could feel his erection get angrier and twitch when your clothed pussy came in contact with it. you pressed your lips on his, both of your tongues fighting for dominance as his hand wandered around your bare back, trying his best to unhook your bra. jaehyun pulls away, starting to get annoyed by the fact that he cannot unhook the undergarment. 
“stupid fucking bra.” he cursed, and the next thing you heard was the sound of the lace getting ripped apart. “why even bother wearing a bra, huh?”
“babe, that was my favorite pair!” you gasp, earning a shrug from him instead of an apology.
the answer to his friends’ question: what was his favorite part of your body was your boobs. he loved the way your breasts bounce when you’re riding him, he loved holding and squeezing them whenever he eats you out, he loved the way he holds it, he loved the way it feels so soft and god, he loved sucking on them. jaehyun brings his hands down your ass, adjusting you closely to him as his mouth makes magic on your breast. you moan quietly when you feel his teeth bite your nipple, causing you to pull his hair a little hard. 
“you can moan, baby. pretty sure no one can hear us with the loud party downstairs.” he said, “moan for daddy?”
daddy. that’s the first time that jaehyun asked you to do that - it hasn't even occurred to you that he has that kink. but you weren't in the right mind to process what he said, but you did it. you moaned ‘daddy’ loudly, your fingers running through his soft locks and started pulling again. there was a sudden empty feeling when jaehyun adjusted your position; letting your back fall on the bed while he kneeled on the floor, planting kisses, and sucking your skin ‘til a purple love mark appeared, he then faced your clothed pussy with a visible wet patch. another smile of satisfaction and lust appears on his face; oh, look how much he’s made you wet.
jaehyun slid two fingers past your pulsing entrance. you felt his fingers curl inside of you, starting to stimulate your g-spot. your back arches in pleasure and started tugging his sheets as you feel your orgasm closer. “daddy, i’m about to cum…” you whined.
“not yet, princess.” he purred, “not until you take every inch of daddy.”
“please fuck me already- i’m on the pill,”
jaehyun hurriedly unbuckles his belt, letting his pants pool on his bent knees and pumped his shaft for a few seconds before slipping himself inside of you. he moaned loudly as he felt your walls clench around him. missionary sure feels so good; reaching the perfect places as he rammed into you. jaehyun once again wraps his lips on your boob while his hands massage the other one. 
note this: jaehyun puts your pleasure and needs first before his. he makes sure you’re getting what you deserve and he’s willing to sacrifice his needs to put you first. at first, you thought it was a little selfish on your part; you also wanted to return the favor, but it seems like it was his love language. 
“i want to ride you daddy,” you plead, “please?”
and that’s when it hit him. he pulled out immediately after hearing you say those words, sitting down on the bed as you hovered over him. once jaehyun was settled, he guided you slowly down his cock, his strong hands held you by the waist as you started riding him. the sound of skin slapping, and lewd noises surrounded the bedroom.
“daddy, fuck, i’m cumming!” you cry, picking up the pace and held onto the headboard. you felt your walls clench as your boyfriend’s cock pumps in and out of you. 
“tight, so fucking tight…” he whispered against your boob before biting, “daddy should fuck you more, now cum around my dick, princess.”
“yes, yes, yes!” you chant, reaching your high. jaehyun felt his dick twitch as he released inside of you. you felt your body shiver when he pulled out, he let you settle yourself on his bed and even covered your naked body with his duvet. tired, you closed your eyes to rest. the next thing you know, jaehyun was cleaning you up with a wet towel before joining you in bed, drawing circles on your back and humming random melodies to lull you to sleep.
there are four things that you discovered about your boyfriend:
he loves seeing you in red,
he loves your boobs,
he loves eating you out and most importantly,
he has a daddy kink.
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copyright © theje0ngs. 2021. all rights reserved.
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notnctu · 5 months ago
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jaehyun: the charming
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━ welcome home to housemating smut series :)
☆ click the link above to read background info about this housemate!
☆ GENRE: smut, pwp ☆ DETAILS: fem!reader, college!au, housemate!au ☆ WARNINGS: explicit language, nicknames, dirty talking, possessiveness, rough sex, praise kink, oral (giving and receiving), spitting, choking, unprotected (wrap up yall!!) ☆ WC: 4.1k ☆ SYNOPSIS: A harmless game of Truth Or Dare with your housemates reveals Jaehyun’s true desires and has him eyeing you the entire night.
☆ AUTHORS NOTE: this is the only part for jaehyun ! sorry for the long wait,, i started this during my writing hiatus and did not have much motivation to finish it since its been really difficult to write smut lately :/ regardless, i hope you can leave me some feedback if you liked it <3 doyoung’s part will be the next in the series once i get to it !
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“If you could kiss anyone in this room right now, who would it be?” Johnny beckons his drink to Jaehyun, who blinks at him with knitted eyebrows and a quizzical expression.
It’s one of those rare nights where all your housemates are home and Doyoung is actually out of his room to participate in everyone’s foolishness. All six of you sit comfortably in the living room as the fifth round of Truth or Dare commences. 
You share the large couch with Jaemin and Haechan, sandwiching you in between them happily. Doyoung, Jaehyun and Johnny are seated in their own respective chairs that circle the tiny coffee table in the center. 
And if your housemates could be any more distracting, Jaehyun sits laid-back without a shirt on and grey sweatpants that fit loosely on his legs, manspreading as if he has all the space in the world. His soft hair falls messily around his face from constantly running his hands through it and his abs flex without him needing to do much.
It’s hard not to stare, but no one in the room calls you out for doing so. They’ve all stared at you plenty enough times on other occasions, so it would be hard for any of them to give you a counterargument. Jaehyun simply looks good enough to devour, and he can say the same for you as he steals sly glances your way.
Every subtle connection of smoldering eye contact sends a thrill down your core, and the smirk paired with his dotted dimple has you swooning for him over and over. Jaehyun knows every way to drive you wild without needing to say or touch you.
It’s unbelievable how that man has only allowed you to see his intimacy once with the way he whistles whenever you walk down the stairs in a cute outfit or how often he compliments your butt just for the pure satisfaction of you having one. Despite having the highest body count in the entire house, he has great self control and never comes off as being too needy. 
And every time he is needy, he already has another girl in his room to satisfy him. So, this never gave you another opportunity to sleep with him as much as you wanted to. If you weren’t so bashful, you might’ve had enough courage to just walk into his room and ask. 
Nonetheless, here you both are: sitting across from each other during a slowly escalating game of Truth or Dare and eyeing each other every chance you can get.
“Shouldn’t you ask y/n that question?” Jaehyun mumbles, finding Johnny’s question rather ridiculous since the ratio in the room is 1 girl to 5 guys and finds no curiosity to know how bad of a kisser the rest of his housemates are. “I think you’d rather know her answer than mine.”
You clear your throat when every attention is drawn toward you, expecting you to give a truthful response when it isn’t even your turn. “What if I didn’t pick truth?”
“You want a dare?” Jaemin rests a hand on your bare thigh and turns delightfully toward you with a dark mischievous gleam in his eye.
Gulping, you try your best to diffuse the situation. “It’s not my turn.” 
“I’ll give my turn to you.” Jaehyun smiles and proceeds to gesture toward you to speak.
Bewildered, you’re looking to Doyoung to protest about such unfair grounds of switching the rules. However, he doesn’t say a word, shrugging it off like it’s not a big deal. “You’re all unbelievable.” You scoff sarcastically.
“C’mon, it’s just a friendly game. Everyone wants you to go.” Haechan clicks his tongue out of impatience, the anticipation practically suffocating the whole house.
“Ask me when it’s my turn.” You stand your ground and send Jaehyun a quick glare. 
The tension drops instantly from the stiff atmosphere. Haechan’s groan erupts beside you as he sits back against the couch with his arms crossed. 
“Okay, buttercup. I’ll answer Johnny’s ridiculous question, but know that I have a good one for you.” Jaehyun leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together loosely. “I’d kiss y/n.” 
Your breath hitches, but no one else is actually surprised by his answer. “Yeah, I’d kiss y/n too if this was my selection pool.” Doyoung remarks with a roll in his eyes.
“I mean,” Jaehyun sits back coolly in his chair, hands stretched behind his head and every muscle flexed in view. Every movement has your mouth watering at his impressive body on display. “Even if we were playing with other people, I’d still choose y/n.” A dimple smile causes your heart to beat rapidly.
Johnny scoffs, “if we circled up all your flings, you’d still choose y/n?” 
Jaehyun ponders the hypothetical for a second, but his eyes land back on yours and every hesitation disappears. “Yeah. She has the softest lips.” He says, very matter of fact.
Your fingers unconsciously graze against your lips briefly, before you clear your throat and shake away the power of his arousing words. “Okay, okay. Let’s move on?” 
“Okay, y/n. Truth or Dare?” Jaehyun picks this open opportunity to bring the attention back to you. Your housemates wait patiently for your choice, with eyebrows raised in the thick tension that this simple game has built up.
With shifty eyes and a dry throat, you mutter. “Dare.” 
There is a notable sparkle in Jaehyun’s dark lustful orbs. “I dare you to kiss the person that you think is the hottest in this room.” 
“Well, it would be difficult to kiss myself.” Rolling your eyes, the edge in your tone is enough to make the rest of them snicker. 
“I’m done after this round. It’s always the weirdest twists whenever we play games like this together.” Doyoung crosses his arms, throwing a small fit at the request. 
Johnny smirks, “because you know y/n wouldn’t kiss you?” 
Doyoung’s mouth opens to protest, but he falls short of a defensive response. He takes his defeat and slumps back against the chair, pouty and grumpy. “Just get it over with and kiss Jaehyun.” 
With a turn of events, you get up from your spot on the couch. Jaehyun follows your every move, your stare never leaving his own. Like a lost puppy, you lead him into thinking the kiss would be for him. However, you lean forward and hold Doyoung’s chin gently, planting a soft kiss on the equally shocked boy. 
“I think Doyoung is the hottest because he treats me with the most chivalry.” The sweetness that taints your mocking words has Doyoung turning red and Jaehyun turning into stone. The charming smile that lights up your darkest parts is gone, and Jaehyun blinks back at you with a tight jaw. 
Jaemin and Haechan read the room too well, excusing themselves before the tension reaches its peak. Doyoung gulps, glancing between you and Jaehyun, and awkwardly makes his way back to his room. Johnny chuckles at the abrupt end of the night, patting Jaehyun’s shoulder lightly before also heading up to bed. 
Every next move is crucial. With your weight barred on your left leg, you cross your arms with as much attitude as you can to push Jaehyun’s buttons further. “Jaehyun, if you really wanted a kiss, you could just ask me without wasting a turn.”
“Where’s the fun in that, buttercup? You clearly like testing your limits.” His voice drops at the end of his sentence. Jaehyun stands up, approaching you slowly. “But if you want my attention, you could just ask me without trying to make me jealous.”
His boldness catches you off guard, leaving you a bit speechless to formulate a proper explanation. Your hesitation gets caught in your throat when Jaehyun lightly places his hand on your waist. “It’s late, we should probably get to bed.” His raspy baritone cadence rumbles your chest.
Fingers graze his arm softly, but he pulls away before you can get a hold of him. “Are you actually going to sleep?”
Jaehyun walks to the bottom of the staircase, motioning you to walk first. “No, I’ll be up thinking about you.” A smirk finishes his sensual taunt and you cautiously head up the stairs. 
He follows directly after you and a whistle escapes his lips. “Have I given you your daily ass compliment yet?”
“Got one this morning.” With each step, Jaehyun is quick to match. 
“Well, you look amazing everyday.” He meets you at the top of the steps and when you’re ready to part back into your room, he stops you. “Where’s my kiss goodnight, baby?” 
You can’t possibly count the numerous times you’ve rolled your eyes being around him. “In my room, if you dare wish to enter.” Though your statement was clearly sarcastic, Jaehyun raises an questionable eyebrow. 
“I’ll only come if you let me in.” His innocent eyes do not match his sinister tone and his hidden innuendos. 
“I guess I always go into your room, it would be nice to have a change.” Taking his hand, you lead him down the hallway. The doors of your other housemates are oddly closed, but you figured they wanted some privacy. His warm hand feels rough against your palm and your heart drums as you two inch closer to your bedroom.
Jaehyun gently closes your door and examines your room as if he’s never been inside. “Don’t be a stranger.” You say, dropping his hand and sitting at the edge of your bed.
“Do you leave your underwear drawer open for all your friends to see?” He snickers, his pinky holding your special red lace panties up in the air. Your eyes go wide as you quickly yank the material out of his possession and shove the cabinet closed.
“I wouldn’t have figured you were the nosey type.” You grumble, but he takes this close proximity to pull you into his bare chest. His firm hand gives your ass a soft squeeze.
“It was quite obviously on display.” His dark whisper sends a chill down your spine and butterflies to swirl in the pit of your core. The faint smell of his body wash suffocates you all around and his sultry stare has you melting in his hands. It is so difficult to resist him, you want everything that is Jung Jaehyun.
Your words are quite possibly caught in your throat, but the hesitation does not show in your expression. Lightly, your fingertips trace the outline of his biceps and his dark stare follows every drag. Admittedly, Jaehyun will find any excuse to grab your attention. Call him possessive for no good reason, but something inside him bubbles with envy whenever your other housemates even leave a lingering stare.
Although he’s not the type to be vocal about it, his facial expressions speak volumes. May it be his competitive nature, but he can’t let the others have you. You have unknowingly become off-limits to the rest, but frankly, you don’t care all too much. Your prize is already in front of you.
“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to wait all night again?” With every will, you try your best to control the nervous tremble in your bold rhetorical question.
Jaehyun wastes no more time; soft lips crash into your own and you feel like you’re floating. Only he can make you feel this way. Hands in hair, the tug on his fresh locks has him moaning through the kiss. Jaehyun loses himself in you, rubbing his semi-hard cock against your thigh and gripping your ass harshly in his hand.
Every drip of saliva is swapped in the mess of your connected mouths and you’re reminded of how rough this man enjoys to be. Your knees buckle at the thought of him and Jaehyun is quick to hold you up, placing you strategically at the end of your bed. 
Pulling away, he stands in front of you with the largest dick print against his sweatpants, along with a small wet spot. There are no bashful words exchanged as the room is filled with heavy breathing and sultry looks. Jaehyun guides your hand to his waistband, silently waiting for you to free him.
Looking up at your beautiful boy, the neediness of release almost ruins his perfect charming look. Hair is tousled wildly across his eyes and his bottom lip escapes underneath the top row of his pearly teeth. He just looks so fucked out already, you can’t imagine how much he was holding back earlier.
You pull down enough of his pants for his dick to spring up right in front of you, not expecting the lack of underwear. Your small gasp cause him to chuckle, pushing the back of your head forward toward his hard cock. “Surprised?”
“You weren’t wearing underwear the entire night?” You question him as your hands cup his balls. A sharp intake of breath is his only response before he can compose himself. 
Through gritted teeth, Jaehyun stutters, “Like you were?” He throws his head back when your warm tongue flicks against his throbbing red tip. Every vein in his arm and neck pops on display as he grabs a hold of your hair.
“You wouldn’t know.” You snicker, running your tongue up and down his shaft. Jaehyun looks back down at your piercing eyes and his dick right above your cheek.
A smirk grows devilishly, “I’m about to find out.” Pushing your shoulder back gently, your back lands comfortably on the mattress. Your heart is racing as Jaehyun gets down on his knees, situating himself in between your open legs.
“May I?” He asks, warm hands on your inner thighs as he patiently waits for your answer.
“Yes.” Jaehyun pulls your shorts down to reveal your favorite comfort cotton panties that have faded from their original color. Naturally, you grow embarrassed and quickly slap your legs closed before Jaehyun can process. 
He blinks at you questionably, quite taken aback by the abrupt motion. “Are you okay?”
“Let’s just say I wasn’t completely expecting to sleep with anyone tonight. I’m not quite prepared down there.” Your gaze drops and you anxiously fist your sheets in your sweaty hands.
Jaehyun nods, understanding your implications. “I don’t care about those things. You are…” landing a quick peck on your bare knee, he rubs reassuring circles with his thumb. “.... the prettiest baby ever. And if you’d let me, buttercup, I want to make you feel good.” 
He has always been suave with his words, as if he knows the handbook to get butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Slowly, your legs open back up before him and the slightest groan rumbles from his throat.
The wet patch on your panties is hard to ignore and he’s mesmerized, to say the least. He peels down your underwear and uses his thumb to spread your lips. Leaning forward, Jaehyun lightly licks at your erect clit and your twitch in response is enough to feed into his ego. 
He dives hungrily, eating you out until your eyes roll to the back of your head and your back is arching off of the bed. He flattens his tongue against you, pushing in and out of your dripping hole in a rhythmic motion. His nose is deep in your skin, intoxicated by your arousal, and his eyes are drinking up your uncontrollable reactions.
It’s as if electricity shocks through your lower half. The pleasure that comes with every lick and sweet suckle has you panting for more. His name echoes from your tender lips while Jaehyun inserts two fingers to stretch you out. The initial ache subsides into an indescribable pleasure; it’s the feeling of being full of anything mixing with the sensitivity of tongue against clit that has you practically on the verge of release. 
Jaehyun isn’t going to give it to you that easily. The moment your moans grow bolder, your legs begin to shake, your hand putting a little more pressure on his head, he pulls away and gets up. A desperate sigh crushes your chest as the build up leads to dissatisfaction. Jaehyun wipes his chin with the back of his hand, his two fingers glistening before being shoved into your own mouth. 
“That’s my good girl, give yourself a taste.” His hot words cause you to flood a bit more, the feeling of wetness pooling at your core. However, you two toy each other with no end as he is provoked by the way your tongue sensually swirls around his digits and how your hips keep squirming closer to the edge. “How badly do you want to get fucked?”
His firm hand holds your moving hips into the bed and you’re aching to be filled with his dick. He’s so hard that it slaps against his abdomen, red tip and spewing precum. Nonetheless, his self restraint is quite strong as he notices the defeat in your expression. Enough teasing, your body wants him endlessly. 
“Jaehyun, I want you to give me all that you got.” At the end of your request, he enters you slowly with a breathy moan. The stretch is much more than his two fingers, causing you to squirm and wiggle. Inch by inch, Jaehyun fills you to your brim and pauses for you to adjust to his size. 
“Fuck, it’s been awhile since we’ve slept together. I almost forgot how tight you are.” How could this man possibly smile with so much innocence while saying such foul things? The next action causes you to go a bit dizzy as he spits down at your clit and rubs it lovingly with his thumb. You practically see stars on your mundane ceiling. 
He starts moving his hips, deep long thrusts pulling out to only sharply fill you up again. Jaehyun is relentless as every thrust forward has you moving more and more up the bed. Your legs are pressed against your chest, folding you over to hit your sweet spot. When his tip grazes upon the greatest feeling ever, your grip on the sheets grows tighter and he’s smirking at how your mouth hangs open in pure ecstasy and shock.
“You’re so good at taking my cock.” He pants, moving faster than before. “My baby hasn’t been fucked properly in a while, has she?”
You’re at a loss for words at every drag and push. Regardless of you wanting to speak, no words seem to make its way out. Jaehyun narrows his eyes at you, dark grin and a menacing taunt in his low voice. A chuckle begins his sentence, “I know… it’s hard to talk when you feel so good right, buttercup? I can feel you getting more excited down there.”
Placing your legs around his waist, he leans down over you. His sneaky hand travels up your torso, giving your boobs a light squeeze through your shirt. Then, he wraps his hand around your neck gently and carefully, only applying enough pressure to drive you wild. 
He breaks his rhythm, reverting back to the previous slow pace. Something about the way you feel around him, hot and tight, needy and wet. Jaehyun just loves how your body reacts.
The feeling of soreness occupies your lower half and you’re more than certain it’s going to be rough tomorrow morning. Every thrust is agonizing, yet powerful enough to be felt in your guts. Jaehyun never fails to leave an impression.
Through your moans, you manage to stutter out his name. “Please, harder.” Jaehyun picks you up, hands supporting your butt and pressing your back against your door. Placing your legs down, you’re standing up right facing him with a confused expression at the change of location.
For a brief moment, his lustful glare is warm and friendly. It’s the same look that greets you in the car when he drives you two to campus. It’s the one he often looks at you with across the dinner table, usually accompanied with his robust laughter. Jaehyun looks at you as if he’s only ever seen you.
However, his next words are far from romantic and his hand finds its way to your throat, pinning you up against the cold door. “I want them to hear how good I fuck you.” Them. The rest of your housemates. Knowing that the house is far from soundproof, Jaehyun wants everyone to know how enthusiastic he makes you feel. 
“But--” As you begin to protest, he drives his hips up and nestles into you. His free hand grips your waist steadily as he barely pulls out, fucking you deeper until you feel him at the pit of your stomach. There is no ability to hold back your pleasure, moans just naturally fill the room and bounce off every wall.
“Cum for me, I know you’re close.” Jaehyun has no intentions to stop, the feeling of both releases being at the tip of your tongues. “Be the good girl that you are and cum for me.”
The small bubble inside of you is ready to burst. Jaehyun sucks on his fingers to coat them with saliva and reaches down to stroke at your clit. Like a switch, your internal light bulb explodes and every spark of electricity fuels your every vein. 
Your orgasm electrifies you, causing every limb to shake uncontrollably and sporadically. Jaehyun keeps thrusting up, helping you ride out the intensity of your high. 
“There you go, baby.” A small kiss on your shoulder, he pulls out and the emptiness is felt immediately. Getting on your knees, you take his cock in your mouth to help him finish. He rests his fists on the door, hovering over you as his abs flex beautifully under the fluorescent light. Hollowing out your cheeks, your throat invites him deeper and this causes him to mindlessly thrust into your mouth. 
Jaehyun sounds breathy above you, whining about how close he is to cumming. Silence in the room has been replaced with his heavy pants and soft groans, the sound of suckling and slick saliva droning out anything else.
“Fuck, y/n.” He says, as he holds your cheek in his palm and maintains eye contact with you through his brown locks. The view of his dick being swallowed up in your mouth is more than enough to drive him to his edge, strings of cum coating the back of your throat from his release. The saltiness immediately hits your palette.
Jaehyun tosses his head back until the satisfaction dissipates. Slowly pulling himself out, he moves quickly to find you a tissue. For a moment, neither one of you speak as he silently dresses himself and you wipe the remaining spit off of your lips.
He helps you up from the floor, lightly dusting off your bare knees for you. And he says something to break the slightly awkward atmosphere, “are you kicking me out like you do with the rest of your hookups?” Jaehyun laughs, wide smile and dimples deep in his soft cheeks. The glow in his skin radiates in the dimness, he’s a sight that’s too difficult to look away from.
“Did you want to stay?” Tossing on a pair of fresh underwear and pajama shorts, you have a vague memory of Jaehyun holding you after your first fuck together. 
Though Jaehyun is your friend before anything else, he responds like every other hookup unsure about the next steps. He shrugs, turning around and tapping his back for you to hop on. “I’ll take you to the bathroom to wash up.” 
Jumping on his back and wrapping your arms around his neck, he carries you down the hall to the shared bathroom. “You didn’t exactly answer my question.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, knowing how embarrassed you are going to be the next morning when facing the rest of your housemates.
“I know you’re just going to come into my room anyways, right?” He sets you down and the door to the bathroom swings open to reveal an equally surprised Haechan. 
“Shit, you two scared me.” The dramatic boy rests a hand on his chest to calm his startled heart. “You might want to air out the bathroom before doing anything in there.” Jaehyun and Haechan share a laugh as you groan, irritated by the putrid fumes that cursed the poorly ventilated bathroom.
“You’re so gross.” You say, punching Haechan jokingly on the arm.
“Says you.” Haechan pauses to poke at Jaehyun’s bare chest, “and you. We are never playing Truth or Dare ever again.” 
“Don’t hate the players, hate the game bro.” Jaehyun snickers.
Haechan pays no more attention to the two of you, back turned and hurrying into his dark room. “I do hate the game now!” He yells in a whisper, shutting his door to end the conversation. You sigh out of relief that Haechan didn’t press for more details or jokes.
Housemates, you never know what adventures you’d run into with them. Nonetheless, you don’t mind and getting to see a shirtless Jaehyun parade around the house is always a treat.
2K notes · View notes
tyongxnct · 3 months ago
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𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 - 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧
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pairing: Jung Jaehyun x fem!reader
special guests: Johnny, Mark, Doyoung, Taeil, Yuta, Jungwoo
summary: Your relationship with Jaehyun starts with hate and ends with love. A rollercoaster of emotions and suffering. You hated each other the second you met and with time, hate became love. Everything was perfect until your relationship ended after you told him you were pregnant. Living under the same roof was a big challenge, especially when your mother came to visit and you had to fake your relationship with Jaehyun and you had to go through so much more until you were finally happy again.
genre: enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers!au (lmao), roommates!au, fakedating!au, pregnancy!au, angst, smut, fluff
warnings: talks of abortion, unplanned pregnancy, puking, gender reveal party (lol), jaehyun is an asshole but he kind of has a reason, smut, swearing, alcohol consumption, abusive past, childhood trauma, rollercoaster of emotions, protected and unprotected sex, choking, (pls tell me if I forgot anything)
wc: 25k (wtf)
NOTE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1000 FOLLOWERS, I AM ABSOLUTELY THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING, this is my 1k follower special and I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish. Thank you.This is inspired by the movie ‘Salaam Namaste’. I planned this story since last september and I’m finally done. Jaehyun says some mean and hurtful things, but don’t hate him too much. If you DON’T like gender reveal parties, PLEASE skip that part or don’t read this fic. I HOPE YOU ENJOY. I am not a gynecologist and I was never pregnant. I used google for help lmao I hope I described y/n’s pregnancy correctly. song rec: everything happens for a reason by Madison Beer
taglist: @chitaphrrrr​, @bitchenderyy​, @aesthetichrj​, @skrtbabe​
this is fiction!
© tyongxnct on all platforms
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“We’re moving back to Busan.”
Your eyes widened. “What? I’m sorry what did you just say?”
“You heard us. Your mother and I want to move back to Busan. We have enough of Seoul and besides that, your grandparents are much older now, they need us there.” Your dad said casually.
“What? Mom?! I don’t wanna move back! I love Seoul, my friends are here, my Job is here-“
“You’re a waitress.” Your mother reminded you.
“And? I love working there. I love my job and my friends. We can’t move back! We can visit them, they’re not that old.”
“It’s been almost five years since you saw your grandparents.” Your dad shook his head, “They need our help-“
You thought for a second. There was absolutely no reason for you to move back. Yeah, you loved your grandparents, but nothing would change if you moved back. Your life was in Seoul und you weren’t ready to give that up. The idea of staying alone in Seoul popped in your head and you got so excited, you could show your parents that you were capable of living alone.
“Alright. You can go, but I’ll stay here. I’m old enough to live on my own, I’m responsible and I have a stable job-“
“As a waitress.” Your mother interrupted you.
“Like I said, I have a stable job. My life is here, I can’t just move away and start new.”
Your dad thought about it for a second but your mother was against it. “There’s no way I’ll leave you here all alone. You don’t even know how to use an oven or how to clean.”
“Mom! That’s not true and you know it. Look, it’s about time I move out and learn to live by myself. Am I wrong dad?” you looked at your dad with a pout. You’re his favorite –and only- child. How could he say no to you?
“Honey, maybe she’s right. I trust my little daughter. And we still have Doyoung who can spy on her for us.”
“Who can do what now?”
He ignored you.
“But, but she’s still a little girl-“
“You were married my age and pregnant, mom.” You squinted your eyes and looked at her. “So what? You want to marry and get pregnant?” she said back.
“What? No, of course not. I want to live on my own and finally be an adult and learn how to be fully responsible.”
You discussed with your parents for almost an hour and in the end, your mother gave in and allowed you to stay in Seoul. You’re absolutely excited and your promised them to take care of everything. So the first thing you did was looking for a cheap, but cute apartment. If you only knew how hard apartment hunting was.
“So you’re going to stay in Seoul? Alone? Without your parents?” Doyoung asked you in disbelief.
“Yes. Isn’t that exciting?! We can have sleepovers every night and hang out and I don’t have a curfew and can stay outside for as long as I want!” you squealed like a little girl. “You are sure you’re old enough to live alone?” Doyoung joked, well half joked.
“I can feel it in my bones. It’s going to be epic.”
Moving out was the best decision you’ve ever made. But moving out without having a place to live? You’ve been apartment hunting for weeks now, even before your parents left but they had to leave earlier than expected, your grandpa wasn’t feeling well. Now, you’re in Seoul without a place to sleep. Well, technically you have a place to sleep, but you couldn’t stay at your best friend’s apartment forever.
“Yeah mom, don’t worry I found an apartment. Tell them I love them too and I’ll visit soon! What? I can’t hear you anymore!” you faked at the end.
“I said, show me your apartment!” she yelled but you hung up before your ear exploded.
“She still doesn’t know?” Haein said as she sat down next to you with a bowl of popcorn.
“Of course not. Do you know how hard it is to find a cute but cheap apartment in Seoul?” you said and stuffed your mouth with a handful popcorn. “Yeah, you have no idea how much I fought to get this apartment. To be honest, I slept with the landlord.” She said casually. “You did what?” your jaw dropped.
“Yeah, no biggie. His name’s Taeil and he’s just a couple years older. He’s rich or something, don’t know and don’t care. But we do fuck from time to time. I should call him again, it’s been so long since we did it.”
“I hope not on this couch.” You joked but your smile faded as soon as you saw her serious face. “Come on!” you jumped up, “I really need to find a place.” You sighed.
And you did.
Even though you were going to have a roommate, but still, a place you could show your parents and they didn’t need to know that there was someone you’re sharing this apartment with. You never met your roommate, she was never home when you visited the apartment. The apartment was perfect. Your room was perfect, the kitchen was really big and the bathroom too. It was way better than you imagined and you couldn’t wait to move in. You were also glad that your roommate was clean and neat. Your lease expanded in two years, and you couldn’t wait to fill those two years with great memories.
“Now please sign here and here.” You signed with a big smile on your face and you were so proud of yourself. For the first time in forever, you did something on your own and everything was going perfectly and you didn’t have to lie to your parents anymore, or sleep at Haein’s. You could move in tomorrow and you slept like a baby that night.
“You’re literally moving in with someone you’ve never met. What if she’s a murderer? A psychopath?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t replace you.”
“I’m serious you idiot.”
“We’ll meet her now, my landlord told me that my spare key was at the apartment. You can check her out, but don’t scare her away. Maybe we’ll make a new friend.”
You parked the truck in front of your new home.
“I have to admit, it looks pretty nice here.”
“I know right!” you said excited, “Now, let’s meet our Mrs. secret identity.”
You softly rang the ball with Haein as nervous as you were next to you. You put on your nicest smile and you tried to stay calm and don’t scare her away.
The door was opened by a guy. A pretty hot guy with a sleeveless shirt, showing his toned arms and the look on his face said, don’t bother me and leave me alone. Well, seems like your roommate has a boyfriend.
“What?” he said annoyed.
“Uhm, Hi! I’m Y/n. I’m moving in today. You must be her boyfriend! Nice to meet you.” You said politely but he just furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Who’s boyfriend?” he asked.
“My roommates. I didn’t meet her before and I also don’t remember her name. Something like Jaeeun? Minjae? I’m sorry, the landlord said her name but I was too excited about this apartment that I forgot her name-“
“Jaehyun.”
Haein looked at you and back at him and understood what was actually happening, but you still didn’t get it. “What? Is that your name? Oh, are you her brother, you have similar names.”
Jaehyun looked at Haein and she just shrugged her shoulders in amusement. Jaehyun didn’t feel like laughing or playing around, so he pushed your keys in your hand and turned around.
“What was that about?” you asked Haein.
“You’re so dumb, honey. He. He is your roommate. Jaehyun.”
And then it clicked. “Oh shit, are you serious?! Oh my god, he must be thinking I’m dense and stupid.”
“Well, that’s the truth though.”
Haein helped you carry your stuff inside your new bedroom. It took you almost three hours and you weren’t even done. You still had to put your bookshelf together, but you could do that another day. Jaehyun, your roommate, left his room just once and that was just to tell you to keep it down with the music coming from your room, he didn’t even ask If you needed help, which you clearly did. It wasn’t even that loud. Haein didn’t like him and you also didn’t like him.
“That’s enough for today, come on let me treat you for some Pizza.” You pulled out your phone, but Haein stopped you. “Can’t. I have a dick appointment in two hours, have to go home and get ready for Mr. Moon.”
“Who is Mr. Moon?” you asked confused.
“Oh right. It’s Taeil. It turns him on when I call him Mr. Moon.”
You accompanied her to the door, “Well, I hope you have fun with your Mr. Moon. Oh shit wait, do you think Jaehyun brings a girl here every night? Like, he’s hot we don’t have to act like he’s not, do you think he’s a fuckboy? Oh shit, what if-“
“Calm the fuck down, he’s an ass, I doubt there are girls who want to fuck him. Even if he’s hot, he seems like he doesn’t even have friends to be honest. And also, I can’t wait for your housewarming party, I hope he’ll leave that day, he seems like a party pooper.”
Oh right, the housewarming party. You invited a couple friends over and you weren’t sure if you should ask Jaehyun if that was okay. Well, it should be, you’re living here too.
After Haein left, you sat down on the couch in the living room. Everything was connected to the living room. A corridor leads to the bedrooms, two rooms across from each other and a bathroom in between. You were thankful that your apartment has a beautiful, big balcony. You can imagine having nice barbecues with your friends there.
You were too exhausted to use the kitchen, so you simply ordered a pizza. You wanted to ask Jaehyun if he wanted anything, but you decided against it.
While you scrolled through Instagram, Jaehyun left his room, walked through the living room, not even glancing at you and then he just left the apartment. Not even a bye, or a I hope you like it here.
You used your Jaehyun free time to call your parents and show them the apartment. They were surprised that you found such a great apartment.
“And that was the kitchen.” After talking for almost an hour, your doorbell rang and you got super excited. “My pizza is here, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Pizza?! Honey, you have to learn to cook, you can’t just eat delivery or ramen.” Your mother scolded you. “I know mom, but I’m so exhausted to cook-“ You were actually just exhausted from setting up your room.
“Why? You’re too lazy to work out.”
You huffed, “First of all, that’s not true. And second, I, uhm, I had to work today.” You opened the door and took the Pizza after thanking the delivery man. “Have a nice evening.”
“Look how polite my daughter is.” Your dad said proudly.
“Thanks dad, can I eat my Pizza now?” you were too excited, your stomach growled and you just wanted to hang up and eat.
“Enjoy your meal, good night. You can call us anytime you want.”
After almost five minutes of saying goodbye to your parents, you hung up and turned on the tv and started eating your Pizza. Half an hour later, half of your Pizza was gone and the door was opened. Jaehyun entered the apartment and turned to you after closing the door.
You looked up to him from the couch and you sensed something already. You slowly finished the Pizza in your hand as he walked up to you. “What are you doing?” he asked.
You swallowed the Pizza in your mouth and answered, “Eating Pizza. You want some?”
He sighed, “I know that you’re eating Pizza. But why are you eating here? In the living room? We have a kitchen for that, you know that right?
“Yeah, of course I know that, but I wanted to watch some TV while-“ he interrupted you, “Yeah yeah, I don’t care. Look, I know it’s your first day here and that’s why I’m telling you this nicely. We have some rules here and we don’t eat in the living room. The whole apartment smells like Pizza now and I don’t like that.” Nicely? This was him talking to you nicely?
“Uhm, okay, sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“Great.” And with that, he left.
You cleaned up the living room and opened the balcony to let some fresh air in and let the smell of Pizza out. You fell asleep on the couch after scrolling through Instagram and YouTube and yes, you forgot about the balcony door completely.
“What is wrong with you?” you heard someone say, “You’re literally inviting the robbers in!” he yelled now. You slowly woke up and the first thing you saw was a shirtless Jaehyun closing the balcony door.
“What?” you mumbled, half asleep, half checking Jaehyun out.
“You let the balcony door open, do you want us to get robbed or what were you fucking thinking?” he growled angrily.
“I’m sorry, but I was here If anything happened I would wake up and-“
“And what? What could you possibly do If someone came in?” he mocked you. “You didn’t even lock the door.” He shook his head.
“You’re the last one who closed the door, you could’ve done it?” you muttered angrily. “You’re the last one in the living room, the last person in the living room checks the door and the windows.”
“Okay but-“
“No buts.” He interrupted you and went back to his room, slamming the door shut.
What the fuck? What was he thinking? How could you possibly know about all of his stupid rules? Is he going to yell at you and tell you about his dumb rules AFTER you break them? Make it make sense.
It was three in morning and you had to go to work in a couple hours. You tried your best to fall asleep, but you were mad at him for being an ass. It took you almost two hours until you fell asleep.
“Fuck I’m late!” you accidently overslept, you turned your phone off after the first ring and you slept twenty minutes longer than you should.
“Shit.” You left your room to enter the bathroom, but the door was locked.
“Can you please hurry up? I’m late!”
You heard the shower now and you knew that you heard him and that he just ignored you. “Fuck you.” You mumbled and went back to your room. You changed your clothes and waited until you heard the bathroom door open. “Fucking finally.”
“I’m going to be late because of you!” when you left your room as fast as you could, you collided into Jaehyun and you almost lost balance. As cliché as it sounds, he was standing right in front of you, just wrapped in a towel and showing you his perfect abs.
“Could you stop staring?” he said annoyed.
“Could you move so I can get ready? I’m late.” you bit back.
“It’s not my fault you’re unorganized.” He left you standing there and closed the door after him.
“Unorganized?! Me?!” you were so angry, but you tried to ignore that and get ready as fast you could. “Also I wasn’t staring.” You mumbled after leaving the bathroom.
“You’re late, Y/n. You’re never late.” Your friend/colleague Jungwoo said as you walked behind the counter and started making coffee.
“I know, my stupid new roommate decided to take a shower for ten hours. God, he annoys me so much. By the way, I hope you didn’t forget about my party this weekend.”
You took orders while you talked to Jungwoo.
“Of course I didn’t. I got you a present.”
“You didn’t have to!”
“I know your ass is broke. It’s also nothing big, something you should have in your own apartment. Also, is your roommate going to be there?” Jungwoo asked as he finished making a strawberry smoothie.
“I hope not. I won’t invite him. I don’t think he’s a party person and also, he’s an ass.”
Your day at the café went pretty fast, you had many customers and working with Jungwoo was always fun. When your shift was over, you went back home and changed your work clothes to your sweats.
Your housewarming party was in two days and you still had to go buy snacks and drinks and you knew exactly who to call and ask for help. Doyoung helped you with the groceries and he even promised you to bake some brownies for your party. A couple hours later, you had to go the restaurant at which you were also working. Yes, you had two jobs. You couldn’t just live with the money you earned from the café.
You worked your ass off that night. You had more customers than usual and when you were finally done, you went home. It was almost midnight when you unlocked the door and let out a heavy sigh. Finally some rest.
You decided to take a hot shower. You felt like a fucking zombie as you walked to the bathroom with your towel in one hand and your phone in the other. There was no sight of Jaehyun so you decided to take your time.
Today was the day. Your housewarming party.
Doyoung came earlier than the others to help you get the apartment ready. While you were busy with the drinks, he baked the brownies and Jaehyun left earlier and you hoped he wouldn’t come back tonight.
It was past ten and all of your friends arrived already. You didn’t invite many people, but it was more than you excepted. Everyone was having fun and dancing to the music. “I’m so glad your dumb roommate isn’t here.” Haein said as she hugged you tightly. Drunk Haein was a lot touchier than sober Haein.
“I’m so curious though. Haein said he’s hot. I want to see him. What if he got kidnapped?” Jungwoo said, drunk Jungwoo was a little, exaggerating of course.
“He’s a grown ass man, he can handle himself.” You shrugged your shoulders.
“I guess it’s time.” Yuta said seriously, “Time for beer pong.”
It was almost midnight and you were absolutely drunk. You lost every round of beer pong and you could get drunk easily. You were laughing your ass off as Minji told her fail date story. You had so much fun.
You lost track of time and you didn’t really care. Your friends were having fun, you were having fun. You told your friends that Jaehyun’s room was taboo of course and they respected that.
Haein was texting nonstop and when you saw ‘Mr. Moon’ on the screen, you wiggled your eyebrows. “I think I’m in love.” She said, “I think I should call him.” And with that she entered the balcony to call him. Some of your friends were still playing beer pong and others were still dancing.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
The beer pong was so intense, you were focused on the ball.
“I said what the fuck is going on here?” someone tapped your shoulder.
“Huh? What?” you turned to the left and saw Jaehyun looking as angry as ever. “Oh hi Jaehyun!” you said with a grin.
“Are you going to answer me or do I have to kick everyone out first?”
What was his problem? It wasn’t even that full. Yeah, okay, some of your friends invited their friends or their girl/boyfriends but it wasn’t that full. Or maybe you were just a little too drunk to notice.
“I’m having my housewarming party! You want a beer? You should loosen up a little.” You giggled.
“Are you kidding me? How can you just-“
“What? Speak louder I can’t hear you.”
Jaehyun softly grabbed your wrist and pulled you to his room.
“I’m glad nobody is fucking in my room.” He said as he turned to you.
“Glad? I think your room needs some action.” You laughed at your own joke. Jaehyun didn’t seem like the guy who brought girls over. “My room gets enough action. Send your friends home. It’s almost two in the morning and I want to sleep.”
“Oh come on, it’s just a little party. You can join If you-“
“I have better things to do then get drunk and be loud. You’re not living alone in this apartment. You should’ve talked about this with me. You’re so childish.” He was really annoyed but he annoyed you even more.
“Okay, I should’ve told you about this, I’m sorry. But can’t you get that stick out of your butt and let me enjoy my own party? And childish? You’re being childish!” you crossed your arms in front of you as you looked at him angrily.
“I’m not going to discuss with you now. Tell them to leave. I don’t want the police to come, it’s fucking loud here and I don’t think our neighbors are happy about it.” Jaehyun started unbuttoning his shirt as he turned away from you.
“What are you doing?” you asked him as you watched him.
“I want to sleep?” he took off his shirt and you hated the fact that he was this good looking. When his hands found his belt, you shyly turned away and gasped loudly. “Hello? I’m still here?”
“Yeah that’s exactly what I also thought. Go and tell them to leave. The Party is over.”
“Asshole.” You said loud enough for him to hear.
Guess what you did? You ignored his wish and enjoyed your night.
Everyone left after a while and Haein and Doyoung promised you to help you clean tomorrow. You entered your room, well you thought it was your room, and pulled the straps of your dress down. It was dark and you were too drunk to notice that you entered Jaehyun’s room.  
You pulled down your dress and when you looked for the light switch but you couldn’t find it. “Where the fuck is this-“
Suddenly, Jaehyun switched his bedside table light on and he expected to see everything except for you only in your underwear. His eyes widened and he couldn’t move. What were you doing half naked in his room in the middle of the night?
“Found it.” You giggled as you squinted your eyes. The light was too bright and you still didn’t see Jaehyun on his bed.
“Y-Y/n.” his voice broke, he cleared his throat and looked away. “W-What are you doing?”
“Hm? What? Oh my god what are you doing in my room?!”
Jaehyun’s looked back at you, “Your room?! You’re in my room!” he looked away again.
“You’re room- oh my god.” You noticed that you were just in your underwear and your grabbed the nearest thing, which was Jaehyun’s shirt on his chair in his room.
Everything was so fast, you felt dizzy and you knew what was going to happen. “Jaehyun I think I have to puke.”
“Not in my room!” he yelled and got up.
You ran out of his room to the bathroom and started puking into the toilet.
Jaehyun was mad, but he was kind of worried so entered the bathroom to look after you. It was difficult for you to puke and hold your hair back, so Jaehyun took your hair and held it back for you.
“Oh my god, I hate this so much.”
“Why did you drink so much? You can’t even handle it.” He still scolded you.
After you were done puking, you washed your mouth and with Jaehyun’s help you brushed your teeth. He also helped you to bed and he told you to leave your door open in case you had to puke again or in case anything else happened.
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled before you fell asleep after he tucked you in your bed.
When you woke up the next morning, you wanted to fall back asleep, but your head hurt and it was impossible to fall asleep again. You checked your phone, 9 a.m. It was still early and it was a Sunday. You had nothing to do. You tried to remember yesterday’s events and when you realized that you embarrassed yourself in front of Jaehyun, you wanted to jump off a cliff.
You tiptoed to the bathroom and looked at yourself. You looked horrible. You were still wearing makeup and it looked so bad, your hair was also doing whatever it wanted. You looked like a witch.
You had to thank Jaehyun for last night and apologize for having a party without asking him. You washed your face and got rid of your make up. You felt your stomach growl and you noticed how hungry you actually were. So you decided to thank Jaehyun with a breakfast. You thought of using Jungwoo’s housewarming gift, ten packs of ramen, but that would be too simple.
You looked in the fridge but you closed it again. You remembered that you couldn’t even cook the simplest breakfast, so you decided to order some breakfast. While waiting for the breakfast, you started cleaning the kitchen. You threw away everything and it wasn’t even that much work. When you entered the living room, the doorbell rang and at the same time, Jaehyun left his room. You thanked the delivery man and turned to Jaehyun with a smile.
“Perfect timing Jaehyun! I ordered some breakfast, as an apology and a thank you for last night-“
“No thanks.” He mumbled and entered the bathroom without saying anything else.
What was that about?
You put the breakfast on the dining table in the kitchen and waited for him. When he entered, he just made himself a coffee.
“Oh I also bought some coffee. I hope iced americano is okay for you-“ he interrupted you again.
“What are you trying to do?”
“What?”
“I don’t want to have breakfast with you. I don’t want to have anything to do with you. I helped you last night because every decent human would do that. Now clean up the living room and don’t invite people over without asking me first.” He grabbed his mug filled with coffee, “Oh and wash my shirt before you give it back to me.” And with that, he left.
“What an asshole.” You mumbled as you took a bite of your waffle.
The following three months you tried to avoid him as much as you could and that wasn’t hard. He was doing the same. Whenever you were in the same room, you would fight. Just like right now.
“I told you to turn this shit off!” he yelled at you.
“It’s not shit, it’s music you idiot!”
Haein watched your fight in amusement. Why did she enjoy you and Jaehyun fighting this much?
“I knew that you had bad taste in clothes, but you also have bad taste in music.” He mocked you.
“Excuse me? What’s wrong about the way I dress.”
“Grandma.” He mumbled but you could hear him.
“What did you just say?” you got up.
“I said you dress like a grandma.” He stepped forward.
“And you act like a grandpa! At least I know how to have fun, do you even have friends? I don’t think so!”
“You don’t even know anything about me, now turn this shit off!”
“No!” and you turned the volume up.
“A child, that’s what you are.” He walked up to the TV and pressed the button to turn it off. “What did you just do?!” you walked to him and pressed the button to turn it back on.
“I have things to do, like an actual adult, so turn this off!”
“Oh my god you’re so annoying!”
“Y/n, let’s just go out.”
“Yeah, go out.” Jaehyun agreed.
“No! Why don’t you go out? Do your stupid ‘adult stuff’ somewhere else.” You wouldn’t let him win.
“You know what, maybe I will. I have better things to do than to discuss with a little girl.”
You were about to jump on him for calling you a little girl but before you could he left. You were so mad and you just wanted to have a ladies night with Haein but that stupid idiot had to ruin everything.
Before you could complain, Haein’s phone rang and her face lit up. “I’m with my friend. Yeah Y/n. Oh my god. You’re so dirty.” She giggled and you looked at her confused, “Alright. See you in an hour.”
“What do you mean see you in an hour?” you asked her.
“Taeil wants to meet. God, he asked me to meet him at his office, I can finally have office desk sex.” She said like it was her biggest dream, “Oh that reminds me. When did you last have sex? I feel like it’s been years.”
“Maybe because it’s been years? How am I supposed to have sex? I lived with my parents remember?”
“Yeah but you don’t anymore, so maybe you should get some dick to relief some stress you know.” She said as she put on her jacket.
“But I’m not stressed?”
“I feel like you are. You know all this bickering with Jaehyun. I think you’re a little sexually frustrated. Look how chill I am. It’s because Taeil fucks the stress out of me. And oh my god, his massages are the best.”
“I think we should discuss this another time. Have fun.”
After Haein left you went back to your room and you heard Jaehyun’s door open. He also left. You had the whole apartment for yourself. You decided to have some fun on your own. You still had some soju bottles left and you decided to drink soju while watching a great sitcom, it was Saturday night after all. That’s the best thing you could do. What if Haein was right and you were mad all this time because you’re sexually frustrated? It wasn’t that easy to have sex whenever you wanted. It’s been almost three years since your last relationship and he was your first and last.
You started drinking and the show you watched was even funnier now. Two hours later, you were so drunk you laughed at the unfunniest things and you didn’t even notice Jaehyun enter the apartment. But when you saw him come closer and look at you, you stopped laughing and looked back at him with an annoyed look on your face.
“Are you drunk?” you said at the same time.
“Are you blind or are those soju bottles invisible?” you said. Jaehyun was also drunk, you could see it in his red eyes and well, he also smelled like alcohol. He took the bottle with a little bit soju left and finished it in one go.
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat here?.” He said after slamming the bottle back on the coffee table. You looked in front of you. You had ordered Pizza and you didn’t care about his stupid don’t eat in the living room rule.
“I don’t care.” You challenged him.
“Shut up.”
“Make me.” You have no idea why you said that but before you could realize Jaehyun was on top of you pressing his lips on yours. You could taste the alcohol on his lips and he could too, but you didn’t mind. Jaehyun’s tongue entered your mouth and his hands were on your hips, pressing himself against you. You weren’t wearing anything except for a shirt (his shirt, you never gave it back) and pajama shorts.
Your wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer and when his cold hands found their way under your shirt, you let out a moan. Jaehyun’s tongue played with yours and you wanted to know how it would feel to have his tongue somewhere else.
Jaehyun’s dick hardened and you cupped his crotch to tease him. His lips travelled from your lips to your neck, he licked your soft skin and started sucking. He found the right spot to make you moan, and you just wanted more and more.
“T-Take off your shirt.” You told him, “Don’t tell me what to do.” He said against your skin, so before you could take off his shirt, he pulled yours up and threw it on the floor.
Jaehyun had perfect access to your breasts now. Your nipples already hard and without thinking twice, you took his hand and cupped your breast. Jaehyun attached his lips with your left nipple and sucked it, his other hand softly squeezing your right breast. He pinched your nipple and you closed your eyes.
Jaehyun played with your boobs a little longer sucking and pinching your nipples and leaving your breathless, but his cock needed to be free. He was painfully hard and you were dripping wet.
“Can you fuck me already?” you said annoyed that he teased you so much.
“Can you shut up?” he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled your panties and pajama shorts down. “So fucking wet? So desperate for some cock? You need your hole filled that bad?” he mocked you, but deep inside, he was so hard and turned on and could cum any second.
“I bet you can’t even make me cum, that’s why you’re taking so long.” You shot back.
“I think I need to fuck that bitchy attitude out of you.” And after taking off his jeans and boxers, your eyes widened but you wouldn’t let him see that. You cleared your throat and while he wrapped a condom around his cock, you touched yourself.
Jaehyun looked at you, this time his eyes widened, “Are you touching yourself?”
“Seems like I have to make myself cum, you’re taking too long.” You loved pushing his buttons.
That actually turned Jaehyun on and he told you to keep doing that as he hovered above you again and placed his cock at your entrance.
“I’ll make you cum so hard, you’ll never want another cock in your life.”
You wanted to say something back, but you just let out a fuck when he pushed his entire length inside of you. “Fucking shit.” You moaned.
Jaehyun fucked you hard and fast and you loved it. You loved how he rammed his cock inside of you, you couldn’t focus on playing with your clit anymore, you were seeing stars and Jaehyun took your wrists and pressed them down on each side of your face. “You’re so fucking tight, is that the reason you’re acting like a bitch?” You clenched around him. “You like that huh? You like being called a bitch?”
“F-Fuck you! Is that all you got?!”
Jaehyun wrapped his hand around your neck, he choked you and you loved it so much.
“Slut likes to be choked? Hmm?”
“Y-Yes, fuck.” You weren’t going to hold back anymore. You were going to show him how much he turned you on. “P-please make me cum- ah.”
“You want to cum? Do you deserve that? Huh?”
“P-Please, I’m so close.”
Jaehyun circled your clit with his fingers and then, “Cum.” And you did. You came and you came hard, clenching around Jaehyun and squeezing his biceps, a little too hard but he didn’t mind. He loved the way you looked as you came.
“We’re not done yet.” Jaehyun and before you could calm down from your intense orgasm, Jaehyun turned you around, ass up face down. The couch was big enough to fuck you in many different positions.
Jaehyun slammed his hips and you knew that he’d leave bruises on your hips with the way he held you and the thought made you moan. He gripped you so tightly to fuck you deep and nice, hitting the right spot and making you lose your mind.
“J-Jaehyun, fuck!”
Jaehyun wrapped his hand around your hair and pulled you up. The pull didn’t hurt, it was still manageable and when you felt his chest against your back, you let your head fall back on his shoulder.
His hand cupped your breast and pinched you nipple, his other hand found your clit and played with it, you could see the stars again and you were so close again. “J-Jaehyun I’m so close, fuck it feels so g-good.”
Jaehyun’s dick twitched inside of you and you knew, he was also close. You clenched around him and begged him to make you cum, he loved it so much.
“P-Please, let me c-cum, I want to cum so bad. Jaehyun- you fuck me so good.”
“Cum. Cum on my cock.” when he heard you moan his name, he exploded and filled the condom with his cum. Jaehyun’s moans were so pretty you, it was like music to your ears.
Jaehyun pulled out of you and threw the condom into the paper bag the pizza got delivered in. You put your trash inside of that anyways.
The two of you were still absolutely drunk and Jaehyun helped you wear your panties and shirt and he put on his boxers. You were too tired to talk about what just happened, so Jaehyun just layed down next to you on the couch.
The next morning you woke up with a heavy headache. You felt a heavy weigh on top of you and tried to push it away. You heard an angry groan, but you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “What the fuck is this?!” you pushed one more time and tried to turn around.
You were in between Jaehyun’s arms and legs. His leg was on top of your legs and his arm was wrapped around your waist. You looked at him and he looked at you, your eyes widened. Not only because Jaehyun was right in front of you, but also because Jaehyun’s morning wood pressed against your leg.
You closed you’re eyes, counted to three, opened them again but Jaehyun was still there.
Jaehyun got up slowly and tried to hide his erection. Did it even matter though? He was balls deep inside of you last night.
“W-What- I-I mean… W-Why?”
“I-I have to, uhm, take care of something, excuse me.” Jaehyun rushed to the bathroom to hide from you and get rid of his little problem.
“Go away! Go away, I’m not horny or turned on.” He told his dick as he tried to ignore the pictures of you under him.
You weren’t fucked like that before and all you could do was clean up the living room to delete everything that happened last night.
Jaehyun jerked off thinking about you while showering, he didn’t mean to, he tried to think of anything- anyone else, but last night was the best sex he has ever had. It didn’t take him long to cum. He came embarrassingly fast just thinking about you and your moans.
You wanted to take a shower so bad, why was he taking so long? You needed to shower last night off of you. What was going to happen now? You fucked, no big deal. You need to calm down.
After Jaehyun left the shower, you waited until you were sure that he wouldn’t get out of his room so you took your shower and rushed back inside of your room. You didn’t know what to do, you were so confused and you couldn’t think clearly because you minded drifted to last night every time.
Jaehyun wasn’t doing any better. He didn’t know what to do, should he knock on your door-
Before Jaehyun realized he was knocking on your door. Shit, he didn’t know what to say, when did he even leave his room?
You sat back and you didn’t know what to do with your hands or with your hair, so you just hid your face behind your hair.
“Y-Yes?” your voice was shaking.
Jaehyun entered and he looked everywhere but your eyes. “I, uhm, just wanted to say… that, d-do you want some dinner?” Jaehyun couldn’t talk about last night, when he looked at you he remembered the way you looked naked and moaning his name, he had to change the topic or he’d get hard again.
“Dinner?” you thought he was going to talk about last night.
“Y-Yes, I thought I could cook us some pasta?” He didn’t even know if you had pasta at home.
“S-Sure. I’d like some pasta.”
And that’s how it went for a couple weeks. You never mentioned that night, but none of you could stop thinking about it. Jaehyun always jerked off thinking about that night and you couldn’t stop yourself and told Haein about it.
“I knew that it was going to happen sooner or later. How was he? Please tell me the details.”
Jaehyun wasn’t home that night so you could talk to her without worrying about him.
“We did it on this couch.”
“Is that the revenge for last time? About the couch at my apartment Taeil fucked me on?” she gasped jokingly.
“Do you think I’d just fuck on a couch? We have two bedrooms we weren’t thinking about the place we just did it. And he was good. Fuck, it was so intense. He said he was going to fuck the bitchy attitude out of me and he fucking did it. Like we’ve been so nice to each other, we don’t fight and we say sorry every time for unnecessary reason?”
“Oh god, he said that? That’s so hot. Are you like, friends now?” she asked.
“I don’t think so, we’re like, friendly but not real friends. We didn’t even talk about that night.”
“Why?”
“It’s too awkward to talk about that. Like the things we said that night, it’s just, I get horny every time I think about it and everything is kinda good between us now. It’s better this way.”
“Are you telling me you’re horny right now?” she wiggled her eyebrows.
“That’s not the point! The point is, we get along and I’m not going to destroy that.”
You were left alone and you weren’t in the mood to watch TV anymore. You decided to go on the balcony and watch the sun go down. You were so into your thoughts that you accidently tripped on your way back to the living room.
“Ah shit!” you yelped in pain.  At the exact time, Jaehyun came home.
It really hurt and you could feel the tears forming in the corner of your eyes. “Fuck fuck fuck.” You tried to get back up but moving your feet hurt like hell.
“What the fuck happened?” Jaehyun ran to you, “What are you doing on the floor?” he asked you.
“I tripped. Can you help me up?” you said in pain.
Jaehyun helped you up and carried you to the couch. “Show me your foot.”
He kneeled down and looked at your foot. “It’s not broken, but a little swollen. You just have to cool it down.”
For almost half a minute, it was silent.
“So?”
“So what?” he said as he got up.
“Can you bring me some ice? Please?” he got up and entered the kitchen and got some ice for you. “Where is your friend?” he asked you as he put the ice against the swollen area. You hissed in pain and he tried to be more careful. “S-She has a date.”
You didn’t notice the tears rolling down your cheeks. “Does it still hurt?” he asked you softly.
You just nodded to stop yourself from crying. You were embarrassed. You were crying like a little girl just because you tripped.
The tv was still on and something funny happened and you giggled. Jaehyun turned around to see why you were laughing now. He softly held your leg up to sit down next to you on the couch. He put your legs on his lap and still held the icepack against your foot.
You’ve been sitting there until it was almost two in the morning. Jaehyun was laughing the entire time while watching tv. You noticed that you’ve never seen him laugh or smile before. He was cute.
You forgot about your foot and enjoyed the peaceful moment between you and Jaehyun.
“I love this show.” You said at the same time. It was a little awkward to have fun with Jaehyun. But after a while you got used to it.
You were getting really sleepy and when you tried to move your foot, it still hurt. “Jaehyun?”
“Hm?” he said, still focused on the tv. “I’m a little sleepy. Uhm, can you help me to my room?”
He nodded softly and you thought he was going to put his arm around you to help you walk, but this guy just carried you to your room. “Y-You didn’t need to carry me.” You said softly.
“Thank you.” You said as he put you on your bed. “Jaehyun?” you asked.
“Yes?”
“Can you uhm, I need to change.” You pointed at your shelf and he opened the first drawer “ It’s in the second- NO! Not the first drawer!” but it was too late. Jaehyun opened you lingerie drawer and his eyes widened. You wear all of this under you clothes?
“Jaehyun the second drawer!” you said embarrassed.
“S-Sorry.” He gulped and closed the first drawer. He saw his shirt on top of your other pajamas. “You’re still wearing my shirt?”
“Oh, uh, yeah sorry- I’ll wash it and give it back-“
“No it’s okay you can keep it.”
Why were you so awkward? Not even hours ago, you fought like there was no tomorrow and now you were both so awkward and shy.
He gave you your, well his, shirt, “G-Good night then.”
“Good night.” You smiled awkwardly.
After changing your clothes and looking for a position to sleep without hurting your foot, you noticed that you had to pee.
“Shit. What now?” you asked yourself. You had to do it on your own. So you slowly tried to get out of you bed and walk to your door. You balanced yourself with the help of your shelf and bed but you almost fell again and a yelp left your mouth.
Your door was opened not even five seconds later and Jaehyun entered. “What happened?” he asked you.
You turned the lights on and he saw you standing on one foot. “I have to pee and I-I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Let me help you.” Before you could protest, he carried you again. You were cursing yourself for not wearing anything under your shirt except for your panties. The skin he touched with his hands burned and you looked away shyly.
“I can manage the rest.” Oh god, this was so awkward.
He nodded as he left you alone in the bathroom. You could finish your business and wash your hands on your own, but you couldn’t walk back alone. You opened the bathroom door and almost fell in his arms.
Jaehyun put his arms around your legs and waist and carried you back to your room. Jaehyun tried to stay calm. Your skin was so soft and warm and he had to admit that you looked cute in his shirt.
He put you back in your bed and asked if you needed anything else. You thanked him and he switched off the lights and left.
Your foot still hurt the next day you woke up and it was a workday. You had to go to the café, but you couldn’t even move your foot. You heard the shower and you were glad that Jaehyun was awake. You felt bad for asking him for help, but you had to.
“Jaehyun!” you yelled after you heard him leave the bathroom. “Jaehyun!” you yelled again.
Jaehyun didn’t hear you but your yelled on top of your lungs now and then he heard you. He entered your room with just his towel around his hips. What a sight to see.
“Yeah? Are you alright?”
“I’m sorry I had to yell, I can’t move and I didn’t know how else to call you since I don’t even have your number.” You explained.
“Is that your way to ask for my number? You could’ve just said so.” He smirked.
“What? No, I don’t even want your number. I-I just-“
“You just what?” he smirked.
“C-Can you go with me to the hospital? I think my foot is getting worse.” You pushed your blanket away to show him your foot, you didn’t plan to show your entire legs. “Shit.” You whispered and tried to cover you private area.
Jaehyun, still smirking, looked at your foot. “Yeah it looks bad. Give me ten minutes. I’ll be right back.”
Jaehyun left to get changed and ready and you waited in your bed.
Not even ten minutes later he came back with black jeans and a simple black shirt, almost identical to his black shirt you were wearing. He styled his hair back and he smelled so good.
“Y/n?”
“Oh yeah, right. What did you say?”
“I asked you if you want to wear something under the shirt.”
“Y-Yes of course uhm, I have shorts in my THIRD drawer.”
Jaehyun remembered your lingerie and grinned to himself. He’d love to see you wear-
“Jaehyun?”
“Hm?”
“You’ve been starring at my shelf for almost a minute. What are you waiting for?” you asked him confused.
“Just thought about something, sorry.”
He gave you your pink shorts, “No, they’re too pink.”
And then he gave you your blue shorts, “No Jaehyun, they’re uncomfortable.”
Two shorts later, he got mad, “God, they’re just shorts! We’re going to the hospital, not a fashion show! Just wear this.” He threw black shorts to you and closed your drawer.
“Can you help me to the bathroom?”
He carried you to the bathroom and then he carried you to the living room to help you wear your shoes. Ge also got dressed and you reminded him to get your bag.
“But they don’t match-“
Jaehyun looked at you angrily.
“Sorry.” You mumbled and waited for him.
He helped you to the elevator and you could feel the pain go through your whole body.
“How are we going? Do you want me to call a taxi?” you asked him. “I have a car.”
You just nodded and when you arrived at garage of your building, he carried you again. “You don’t have to carry me every time.”
“It’s faster this way.”
He was driving a simple car but it was as clean and neat as he was. The ride to the hospital didn’t take long and on your way you called Jungwoo to tell him that you weren’t able to work today.  
You had to wait almost four hours until you were finally done. You were right, your sprained your ankle and the doctor told you to rest for two weeks, maybe longer. You gave you some medicine and you were on your way back home again.
“I’m sorry that you lost four hours of your life because of me.” You said to Jaehyun as he carried you to the couch.
“I wasn’t busy anyways. Give me your phone.”
You were confused but you still gave him your phone. Locked.
Jaehyun sighed, “Unlock it.”
You unlocked it and he put his number in. “Call me if anything happens or if you need help. I’ll be in my room.”
“Okay, thanks.”
You called the restaurant to inform them about your absence for the next two weeks. You were so bored already. How could you just stay at home? You missed work even though you hated it sometimes.
Your stomach growled and you needed something to eat. You couldn’t cook, so you just had two options. One, Jaehyun cooks or two you order something.
You decided to text Jaehyun. As simple ‘dinner?’ And he left his room not a minute later. “You’re hungry?” you nodded. “Let’s just order something. Is that okay?” he asked you and you nodded again. “What do you-“ you interrupted him before he could answer, “Chicken and beer?” you asked him with a bright smile. “Fine.”
Jaehyun ordered the chicken with some beer and he stayed with you as you waited for the food to arrive. You watched tv again and laughed. It seemed like you and Jaehyun have the same sense of humor. “This is my favorite episode!” you said happily.
“Yeah that’s really good one.”
You almost cried, you laughed so hard and seeing Jaehyun laugh as hard as you made you even laugh more. You were interrupted by the doorbell and Jaehyun carried the chicken to the living room and placed on the coffee table.
“What are you doing?” you asked him.
“What do you mean?” he unpacked the chicken.
“We’re in the living room. Let’s go to the kitchen.”
“Oh, it’s alright. Let’s just eat here and watch tv. I don’t want to miss anything. I don’t remember this episode.” Jaehyun said casually and took a bite of his chicken.
And that is how your following two weeks went. You hung out with Jaehyun in the living room on the couch, binge watching sitcoms and movies. He cared for you and still helped you go to bed or the bathroom. Jaehyun always reminded you to take your medicine and you forgot that you actually didn’t like him.
Haein and Doyoung visited you and bought you something to eat or just hung out with you and Jaehyun left you always alone with your friends. You almost wanted to kick them out just so you could keep watching tv with Jaehyun. Your foot was healing, but you still struggled a little.
Tonight was one of those nights you loved. You’ve been spending the whole day with Jaehyun. He cooked dinner for you and you got used to eating dinner with him in the living room and watching something. That was almost like a ritual now.
“Jaehyun?” you asked after a while.
“Hm?”
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“What do you mean? Watching tv?”
“No I mean like, what is your job? I don’t even know how old you are.” You were curious about him, you were almost friends, you’d say.
“Oh, I’m 25 and I’m an author.” He told you. So he’s just a year older than you.
Your eyes widened, “You’re an author? How cool! Do I know any of your works?”
“I don’t think so.” Jaehyun didn’t like talking about his books or his job.
“Are you working on something right now?” Jaehyun just nodded, “What’s it about?”
“Can we talk about something else?” he said annoyed that you didn’t stop asking him about his job. “S-Sure. About what?”
“I don’t know. What’s your favorite color?”
“Purple and yours?”
“Black.”
“Why did I see that coming.” You giggled.
That night, you learned more about Jaehyun. You learned that he didn’t finish college (he didn’t tell you why), and that he has no siblings. He didn’t talk about his parents and you didn’t want to cross any lines, so you didn’t ask about them. He told you about his favorite things and about his roommate before you moved in. A guy named Sicheng. He was actually from China so he had to leave after a while, but Jaehyun was still in contact with him. Jaehyun worked mostly from home but he also had a couple meetings with his publisher, that’s why he was home most of the time. He had to focus on writing, so he kind of locked himself in his room.
Jaehyun also asked you some questions, and you answered all of them. You told him the reason you moved out and about your two jobs. You talked all night long until you two fell asleep on the couch.
Living with Jaehyun wasn’t as bad as you thought it was.
It’s been a couple weeks since your feet healed and you started working again. You couldn’t spend that much time with Jaehyun anymore since you worked day and night. You also noticed while you were home that he rarely left. He was probably writing in his room, you thought.
After an exhausting week, you were finally able to rest. You loved weekends.
“Hey.” You said as you entered the kitchen. Jaehyun was preparing dinner for you two.
“How was your day?” he asked you with a soft smile. “Exhausting. Sometimes I think about hurting my other foot so we can just hang out all day and all night long again.”
Jaehyun smiled, he wouldn’t admit that, but missed it too.
“We can binge that new show on Netflix tonight?” he asked.
“Sounds good to me. You need help there?” you asked him as he cut some tomatoes. “No I’m good, just relax a little, I don’t want you to fall asleep in the middle of the show.”
“That happened just once!”
Your phone interrupted you from defending yourself.
“Yeah what’s up? That was tonight?! But- Hae- okay fine.”
“What’s wrong.”
“Please don’t be mad, but I totally forgot that I promised to go to that one club with Haein. She wanted to introduce me to her new boyfriend.”
“It’s okay. We still have tomorrow.”
“Yes or no?” you asked him.
“What do you mean?” he asked confused.
“Just say yes or no.”
“Y-Yes?” he answered, not sure if that was the right decision. “So you’ll go with me to that club? Please.” You whined.
“You tricked me.” He said and put the spoon with a little sauce against your lips. You tasted it and it was absolutely delicious. “I didn’t trick you. I gave you a choice and you said yes. Tastes amazing by the way.”
“Okay I’ll go with you. But we’ll leave whenever I want.”
“I promise.”
Jaehyun smiled at how cute you were without realizing it.
You and Jaehyun got ready after having dinner together. Jaehyun hated crowded placed and he didn’t even know why he agreed to go to a club with you. You were done before Jaehyun and you mocked him. “And they say girls need longer.”
He was still styling his hair and the door to the bathroom was open so you entered. Jaehyun looked at you through the mirror and he looked away. You were going to wear that? To the club? Jaehyun tried to focus on your face and not on your boobs.
“Wait let me help you.” You turned him to you and Jaehyun was much bigger than you. You pushed his face down, to reach his hair and now it was impossible for him not to stare at your boobs. You basically shoved his face into your boobs. You helped him style his hair unaware that he stared at you boobs.
“Perfect. Can we leave now?”
“Y-Yeah.” Jaehyun cleared his throat as he looked at how short your dress was as you turned around and made your way to the living room. The short black dress with thin straps you were wearing reminded him of that one night you had your housewarming party. When you were standing half naked in front of him. Jaehyun shook his head and tried to think of something else.
You arrived at the club after 25 minutes. You dress rode up and you tried to pull it back down but then your boobs were shown. You struggled a little with that dress and Jaehyun seemed to notice. You made eye contact as you pulled a up again. Maybe you were imagining things, but there was a rosy blush on Jaehyun’s cheeks.
Haein and Taeil were already there when you arrived. She also invited Doyoung and Yuta. Jungwoo couldn’t come, he was meeting his girlfriend’s parents tonight.
You greeted everyone and they, except for Taeil, looked at you confused with an eyebrow up. “You remember Jaehyun? My roommate?” you looked at Doyoung and Yuta. They nodded, still not sure how to react.
Jaehyun greeted your friends awkwardly but thanks to Haein, who hated awkward moments, the awkwardness was gone within minutes. Taeil ordered three rounds of shots and a whole vodka bottle, and not even an hour later, Haein and you were drunk. The boys talked about finances and sports, basically boring stuff, so Haein pecked Taeil’s lips and took your hand to go to the washroom. You’ve been sitting next to Jaehyun the whole time and he didn’t want you to leave his side, but Haein was faster.
“And?! What do you think?!” Haein asked you, you could see how much she liked Taeil.
“He’s super nice, he doesn’t seem like he’s rich.”
“Yeah, he’s also super nice in bed.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Didn’t need to know that.”
“Maybe, we can get some dick for you tonight too.” She winked at you, “I’m here with Jaehyun, that would be rude.”
“You’re right, then go and get Jaehyun’s dick. I don’t know if you noticed this, but he’s staring at you non-stop.”
“Shut up, he’s my roommate-“
“And? It’s not like it would be the first time.”
“We don’t talk about that night Haein! Fuck, but yeah I’d love him to fuck me again. But no, everything’s going perfectly between us, I don’t want to destroy that.”
“What if he feels the same way, I mean, You’ll never know if you don’t make a move.” She told you and you thought about it for a second. You never talked about that night and maybe Jaehyun thought about it as much as you did.
You left the washroom and noticed a girl next to Jaehyun. Haein looked at you and then back at Jaehyun. You didn’t know what to do or what to feel. What is this feeling, this ugly feeling deep inside of you? Why do you want to push her away and take Jaehyun away from her?
“Seems like he isn’t interested.” You mumbled and you decided to go to the bar and get yourself something to drink. “I’ll be right back.”
You and Jaehyun are just friends, there was no need to feel whatever you were feeling right now. He can flirt with as many girls as he wants and you could do the same. You leaned against the counter and ordered your drink. Your friends were on your left side and you tried your best to look everywhere but there, but when this guy also leaned against the counter on your left side, a little too close to you, you looked to your left and your eyes travelled from the guy next to you to Jaehyun and that girl he was still talking to.
“Hey.” The guy said, “Watcha doing here all alone?”
“Who says I’m alone?” you bit back.
“I don’t see anyone. What is your name?”
“Y/n. And also I’m not alone here, I just wanted to get myself a drink.” You looked back at Jaehyun and your eyes met. The girl next to him was still talking to him, but it seemed like he didn’t listen to her.
You turned back to the bartender and sighed.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
The guy wasn’t that bad, you thought. If Jaehyun can flirt around, you could too right?
“Nothing important. Just a little stressed.” You smiled softly.
“Whatever stresses you, it’ll be over soon, trust me.”
“I don’t even know you, why should I trust you.” But deep inside you knew that he was right.
“I’m-“ he was interrupted before he could tell you his name.
“You said we can go home whenever I want. I want to go home now.” Suddenly Jaehyun came to your view as he softly pulled you away from that guy. “Sorry dude, didn’t know she has a boyfriend.”
You were about to tell him that Jaehyun wasn’t your boyfriend, but as soon as Jaehyun said “Now you know” you shut up.
Jaehyun locked your hands as you walked out of the club, none of you saying anything. His hand was warm, soft, and so much bigger than yours. You tried to hide your smile, your heartbeat increased and you looked on the floor shyly. The taxi came not even five minutes later and now you were sitting next to Jaehyun on your way back home.
It wasn’t awkward, but there was something in the air but the two of you were too shy and scared to say anything. Jaehyun couldn’t take the silence anymore so he just talked. “I told your friends that we’re going home. I’m sorry that you couldn’t say goodbye.”
“It’s okay.” You looked at each other and you smiled softly.
“D-Did you at least get her number?” you almost jumped out of the car. Why would you ask him that? “Whose number?” he asked confused. “The girl you were talking to.” You just noticed that you were still holding hands. You looked down to your hands and then back up. Why did it feel so good to hold his hand? “Oh, I wasn’t interested… but your friend Yuta got her number.” His thumb softly caressed your hand.
You can’t take this anymore, whatever this feeling inside you was you were going to explode.
When you arrived at home, he was still holding your hand, but unfortunately he had to let go to unlock the door.
“You still want to watch something or do you want to go to bed?” he asked you. You looked at your watch. It was just one in the morning so you agreed to hang out. Why were you so nervous? It’s not like you didn’t hang out with Jaehyun before.
You were standing in front of your bedrooms, to go and change to something comfortable. “I’ll see you in a couple minutes then.” You said shyly. “Yeah, see you in a couple minutes.” He smiled at you.
You entered your rooms and let out a heavy sigh. What was going on? Jaehyun was never this nervous around a girl. It was also the first time that he felt something inside he never felt before when he saw you talking to that guy. He blushed as he remembered that he called you his girlfriend. Did you even hear that? What were you thinking now?
You sat on your bed and thought about unknown feeling you felt in your belly. You even googled, and the only definition for feeling something in the belly if a guy did things like Jaehyun did meant butterflies.
Your thoughts were interrupted when Jaehyun knocked on your door. When you opened the door you saw that he was still wearing his clothes from earlier and you were also still in your dress.
“Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”
Before you could register his words, Jaehyun clashed his lips against yours. He kissed you so softly, so passionate. Jaehyun cupped your cheeks and you felt so fragile in his hands. You kissed him back without thinking twice because you realized that the feeling you felt all this time, was the desire to kiss Jaehyun, to be close to Jaehyun and just to be with Jaehyun. You were jealous when he talked to this girl. You felt happy that he stopped talking to her to stop the guy from talking to you.
Jaehyun carried you with his strong arms to your bed and softly pushed you down with him on top of you.
Jaehyun kissed you like he was afraid you’d break. He was so gentle and his tongue played slowly with yours. He could kiss you forever, he could kiss you until he couldn’t breathe anymore, he didn’t care he just wanted you.
You slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt. This time you were going to take your time to feel him and not to rush like last time. Not that him fucking you hard and fast was a bad thing, hell no, you loved it so much, but this the two of you wanted to taste every inch, feel every inch, and just take your time to show how much this means to you.
Jaehyun’s lips travelled to your neck down to your breasts which were hardly covered. Your nipples were already hard just from kissing and you could feel Jaehyun hardening too. He was between your legs and your dress was barely covering.
“I love this dress on you, but we should take it off right?” he whispered softly and you could only nod.
Jaehyun pushed you up a little to get to the zipper. He pulled the straps of your dress down and pressed wet kisses on your exposed skin. Not even seconds later, your dress was gone and you were just in your black panties.
You could almost hear your heartbeat. Jaehyun was so gentle and sweet and the two of you were doing this sober. You wanted him, you needed him and he needed you.
Jaehyun got rid of his dress shirt and unbuttoned his jeans, his eyes never leaving yours. His jeans landed on the ground and he got down on his knees. One hand on each of your leg, he spread them wide and pulled you closer. His face right in front of your clothed pussy.
Jaehyun left open mouthed kisses on your legs as he reached the hem of your panties. He slowly pulled your panties down, leaving your exposed and completely naked. You grabbed the blanket under you tightly, you looked up to the ceiling, avoiding Jaehyun’s eyes. You were so nervous and excited.
Jaehyun put your legs on his shoulders and you could feel his breath against you pussy lips. He put one finger against your folds and spread your wetness, you were almost dripping. You closed your eyes tightly as you felt him kiss your pussy. He spread your folds with his fingers licked a long strap. You let out a breathy moan and Jaehyun continues licking you, slowly.
He was teasing you, he wanted to hear that you wanted more. He played with your clit, so slowly and it was almost torture. “J-Jaehyun… please.” You whined.
“Please what baby?” he said against your pussy and then he kept toying with your clit.
“Please don’t t-tease me. Please, make me cum.”
And then he ate you out and you saw the stars. He ate you out like a starved man, finding the right spot to make you lose your mind. Sucking on your clit until you cried out and your grip around the sheets tightened. You were so wet that he could push two fingers inside of your cunt without hurting you. His fingers pumped in and out of you and he never stopped sucking your clit and eating you out.
“Jaehyun, oh god- fuck, it feels so good.” You were so close, and Jaehyun fastened his pace, “S-So close.”
You came not long after, clenching around his fingers and almost squeezing his head with your legs. He didn’t stop pumping his fingers and playing with your cum, you were so sensitive that you couldn’t stay still, but Jaehyun didn’t mind and you came a second time. You almost passed out, you were so sensitive and overstimulated but you loved every second of it.
Jaehyun looked up at you. His chin glistening with your cum and the look on his face told you that he wanted to fuck the hell out of you. “Did you like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that after making me cum twice?”
Jaehyun grinned at you. He crawled back on top of you while softly pushing you to the middle of your bed and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his lips and tongue. Jaehyun’s hard cock poked you and you wanted to make him feel good. Your hand travelled inside his briefs to wrap your hand around his cock. Jaehyun moaned in your mouth as you pulled his cock out of his briefs. You used his precum to coat his cock and jerk him off.
Jaehyun’s face fell into the crook of your neck and you were glad he was enjoying it. He pressed kisses on your neck and sucked to leave hickies. You didn’t really know what you were doing but as long as he was enjoying it, you kept jerking him off.
“W-Wait.” He wrapped his hands around your wrist, “I don’t wanna cum yet.”
“Can I ride you?” you asked bluntly. Jaehyun’s eyes sparked up, he would love to see you on top of him, riding him.
Jaehyun nodded excitingly and turned the two of you around. His back rested against the bedrest, his briefs long gone. “Condom?” you asked shyly.
“My wallet, in my jeans.”
Jaehyun was painfully hard and just couldn’t wait anymore. After finally finding a condom, you asked him if you could do it. Jaehyun nodded and smiled softly at you. He watched you slowly wrap the condom around his hard cock. You positioned yourself above his cock and with Jaehyun’s help you slowly sunk down. “F-Fuck.” Jaehyun moaned as he grabbed your hips.
You rode him slowly at first, then you fastened your pace as you got used to his size. He stretched you perfectly and every time he was fully inside of you, you moaned. “J-Jaehyun… it feels so good.”
Jaehyun loved the look on your face, he loved seeing how his cock disappeared inside of you. You wrapped your arms around Jaehyun’s neck for support, you also pulled him closer to press you lips against his. The kiss was so passionate, so intense. Your bodies were connected and so were your lips, this time you didn’t fuck like you were horny teenagers.
Jaehyun’s grip on your hips tightened and he helped you bounce on his cock. You unlocked your lips and closed your eyes as you felt Jaehyun fuck up into you. Jaehyun was so deep inside of you, hitting the right spot with every thrust.
“J-Jaehyun, Jaehyun fuck, I’m gonna cum again.” You cried out, you were still a little sensitive after coming two times, but that didn’t stop Jaehyun from fucking you until you were crying.
“Cum baby, fucking cum on my cock.” Jaehyun felt you clench around him and when you whispered in his ear, “Please cum, I want you to cum Jaehyun.” And locked your lips again, he twitched inside of you and you came at the same time. Your dug your nails in his shoulder and he held you tightly between his arms as you ride out your orgasms. Jaehyun filled the condom with so much cum and you just wanted to stay in his arms like this, but his cock softened inside of you and you had to throw the condom away.
With one sweet kiss on your lips, he slowly lifted you up. He threw the condom in your trash bin and you were heavily breathing right next to him on your bed. Jaehyun threw his briefs back on while you went to pee and clean yourself up in the bathroom, and when you came back he helped you wear a fresh pair of panties and his shirt. He layed down next to you, intertwined your hands and tried to calm his beating heart down.
You looked to your left and when your eyes met his, he came closer and pecked your lips. “I can’t stop kissing you.” He whispered against you lips. “Then don’t.” and that night, you fell asleep between Jaehyun’s strong arms. His body hot against yours under the sheets, hands intertwined and lips locked.
You woke up with a big smile on your face. Jaehyun’s arm was around your waist, hugging you tightly and his face so close to your neck, you could feel his breath and you were so happy that he was still there when you woke up.
You turned around slowly, you didn’t want to wake him, but when you turned around his eyes were already open. He smiled softly at you as your eyes locked, a smile on both of your faces.
“Hi.” You said.
“Hi.” He said back and softly caressed your cheek with his thumb.
You probably looked like a mess whereas Jaehyun still looked stunning. You turned around immediately and hid your face under your blanket.
“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked you.
“I look like a mess when I wake up. Don’t look at me.”
Jaehyun laughed at your cuteness, “You don’t look like a mess. You look beautiful. Don’t hide from me.”
You peeked at him, only showing him your eyes. Jaehyun pressed a sweet kiss on your forehead and smiled at you. His hand slowly found his way under your shirt, goosebumps formed all over your body. “I said don’t hide from me.”
You slowly showed him your face again and within a second his lips were on yours. Kissing you so tenderly and slowly. Jaehyun pulled back slowly and looked at you. His hand caressed your cheek and he looked at you like you were his world. He put a strand of your hair behind you ear and all you could do was stare at him.
“Do you want to shower with me?” he asked you.
You nodded shyly, “But I also want to stay like this with you.”
“We can shower and then we can lay in bed all day long? How does that sound?”
“Sounds perfect.”
And that’s what you did. You showered together, but it took you longer than you thought it would. Your little shower session became a make each other cum session. After sucking his dick, he fingered you and then you finished showering and changed to comfy clothes. Jaehyun prepared some breakfast as you dried your hair.
After a fast breakfast you found yourself under your sheets with Jaehyun again. You cuddled and kissed and it was perfect. It wasn’t awkward or weird at all, it was magical. Jaehyun pecked your lips because he couldn’t get enough of you and you didn’t complain, why would you? You loved it.
“Do you still think I dress like a grandma?” you asked him after a while.
Jaehyun let out a laugh, “A sexy grandma.”
You softly punched his arm and turned around to face the wall. “I’m just joking. Come back.” He kissed your shoulder. “You look amazing whatever you’re wearing. With or without clothes, you look pretty.”
You turned back to him, “I know. You couldn’t take your eyes away from me yesterday. Or last week when I wore a skirt. Or-“
“Okay, I get it, I’m obvious, but I can’t help it, you just look too good to not stare.”
You giggled, “You’re cute.”
You spent the whole day with him in your bed, talking about random stuff and just enjoying each other’s company. That was how your relationship full of anger, hate, and fights bloomed into a relationship full of love, happiness, and passion. You fell for each other every passing day more and more, you couldn’t imagine a day without each other. You can’t remember the last time you slept without Jaehyun by your side and you loved to fall asleep with him so close to you. You loved having passionate sex with him and you loved when he fucked you dumb. Jaehyun was sweet and tender but he was also a fucking beast when he fucked you.
It didn’t take you long to finally be official. You never thought you could fall for you annoying roommate, but here you were, head over heels for the guy who told you not to eat in the living room. You learned so many things about each other, secrets you never told anyone before and the dreams you had. Jaehyun told you about his writers block, that he didn’t publish a book in almost a year, he was struggling with his ideas, he didn’t know how to focus and write, but with you on his side, he let his ideas free and created beautiful stories.
It’s been already a year since you started dating and it was the best year you ever had. Today was your one-year anniversary and you spent the day at the amusement park. You teased Jaehyun for being so cliché but you loved it. There was a photobooth and you almost gave in when Jaehyun tried to finger you inside of the photobooth. “Then let’s go home.” He whined.
“You’re so impatient, baby. We still need to go on the Ferris wheel.” You pouted.
“Fine, but then we’re going home to,” he came closer to your ear, “fuck.” He whispered since there were so many kids around you.
“Yes, sir.”
“Don’t call me that in public.” He whined.
You loved teasing him.
When you were finally on top of the Ferris wheel, your eyes widened. You had a beautiful view and a beautiful man next to you.
“Please take a selfie with me.” You asked him with a pout. Jaehyun hated taking selfies but every time you looked at him with a pout, he couldn’t resist and gave in.
After taking about ten selfies, he had enough and just kissed you. You kissed him back and put your phone back to your pocket. Jaehyun’s tongue played with yours as your hand found his crotch. “Happy one year anniversary.” You whispered against his lips, “Happy one year anniversary.” He said back, closing his eyes and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
You stroked his slowly hardening cock and you weren’t going to jerk him off, you just wanted to tease him. When you stopped abruptly Jaehyun looked at you with a pout. “Why did you stop?” he whined. “I don’t want you to cum in your pants. I want you to cum inside of me, fill me up with every drop of your cum.” You whispered teasingly.
“Fuck, are you fucking serious. You’re going to let me fuck you raw?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened and his cock twitched. He wanted to fuck you raw for months now, but you weren’t sure If you wanted to take birth control, but you also wanted to feel him so you wanted to surprise him for your anniversary.
“I love you.” He said and every time you heard him say that you wanted to cry because you loved him too, so much. “I love you too.”
Jaehyun was so excited, he almost came just thinking about his cum dripping out of you. “Please, can we go home now? I want you so badly.”
And he didn’t waste a second after you arrived home. He pressed you against the door, stopping you from unlocking it and entering your apartment. His hands all over your body. “J-Jaehyun, let’s get inside first.” You turned to the door to unlock it, you felt him press his cock against your butt. Your hands were shaking in excitement and as soon as you unlocked the door. You turned back to him to kiss him.
Jaehyun closed the door with his foot and undressed you on your way to the bedroom. He was so excited, he didn’t care about his surroundings, his focus was on your and only you. Your clothes were all over the ground in the living room and when he finally found your room he threw you on the bed and undressed himself. You were still in your panties and bra. You unclasped your bra and threw it with your panties on the floor. You spread your legs and smirked at Jaehyun.
“Fuck I want to be inside of you.” His dick was painfully hard.
But Jaehyun had to prepare you for his cock first. Even though you were dripping already, he started pumping two fingers in and out of you. The sound of your wetness turning him on. He leaned down to take your nipple in his mouth. Softly sucking and playing with it. You moaned out whenever he hit that one spot, you were so close.
He flicked your other nipple with his free hand and you clenched around his fingers, you loved it when he played with your boobs. You could feel your orgasm coming, “J-Jaehyun-“ but before you could cum, he pulled his fingers out.
“Why?” you whined, “I was about to cum- oh holy shit!”
Jaehyun wanted you to cum on his cock, not on his fingers and when he pushed his entire length inside of you, you arched your back and moaned loudly.
“Fuck you’re so fucking tight, so perfect.” He watched his cock disappear inside of you, fucking you raw made him loose his mind. He pinned your wrist on each side of your face to hold you still.
“Ah- This feels so fucking good- please don’t stop!”
Your eyes rolled back, Jaehyun’s moans were so beautiful and you could feel your orgasm coming. “Gonna cum J-Jae- oh god.”
You came hard on his cock, “Gonna fill your pretty pussy up.” And with that, he came to and painted your walls white. Jaehyun was still rock hard even after filling you up, that was the best feeling ever. He pulled out and pushed two fingers in to stop the cum from dripping out of you.
Jaehyun was not done with you.
He turned your around on all fours. He exchanged his fingers with his cock, fucking into you again. He was going to fill you up again and watch his cum drip out of you. Jaehyun placed his hands on your hips to fuck you nice and deep. With every thrust, you clenched around him. You supported yourself on your arms, holding the sheets tightly. “Jaehyun- fuck! Oh my god, fuck me harder!” and he did. His hand found your neck to press you into the bed and to fuck you harder. Your legs almost gave up and with Jaehyun’s other hand circling your clit, you came again.
Jaehyun came not long after you, shooting his cum deep inside of you and moaning out loudly. He pulled out softly and watched his cum drip out of you.
“That is so hot fuck.”
Jaehyun got hard again and you knew that it was going to be a long night.
You stopped fucking with a condom after your anniversary, you always took birth control and you were glad you did because Jaehyun fucking you raw was mind blowing. Two weeks after your anniversary, you celebrated Haein’s birthday with all of your friends. You organized a surprise party in your apartment with Jaehyun’s help. Even though he was not a big fan of parties and crowded rooms, he helped you as much as he could.
You were really busy that day, you decorated your apartment, baked a cake with Doyoung and Jaehyun and tried to distract Haein. Haein thought that all of her friends, except for you, forgot about her birthday, but after you opened the door to your apartment, she almost broke out in tears. She hugged you tightly, and she jumped in Taeil’s arms as soon as she saw him.
“Oh god I love you guys so much.”
The surprise party was a success and you were happy to see your best friend happy.
You thanked Jaehyun a thousand times for helping you and when everyone left and you were all alone with your boyfriend, he wanted to have sex as a reward. You were a little exhausted, but you wanted to make him feel good. “What about I suck you off?”
Jaehyun thought about it, “Hmm, but I want you to feel good too.” He pouted.
“Okay, just because I love you and If you give me a massage after that.” You must admit, after drinking alcohol you got horny easily. Just feeling Jaehyun’s hand on your boob made you wet.
“Deal.” He said happily.
After having sex, you were glad you did it. Jaehyun made you feel so good and the massage after that was a bonus. But if you only knew what consequences that night would bring, you ask yourself what would’ve happened if you just sucked him off or just went to sleep.  
It was a warm summer night, you and Jaehyun cuddled on the couch, the balcony door wide open to let the warm breeze in, lights out and the movie you were watching long forgotten. Jaehyun softly played with your hair, your head on his chest and arm around his waist. It’s been a couple weeks since Haein’s birthday and you had a weird feeling inside of you.
Jaehyun was worried and never left you side. “Are you getting your period soon?” he asked you.
“I should, but it’s a different feeling. I feel like I-“ you stopped midsentence. You pushed yourself up and ran to the bathroom. You leaned over the toilette to puke. Jaehyun rushed after you to hold your hair back. He softly caressed your back.
“I’m sorry.” You said after washing your mouth and flushing the toilette. “Don’t be sorry baby. Are you feeling better now?”
You shook your head. “I think I ate something wrong.”
Jaehyun carried you to the bed and tucked you in. “I’ll make you a tea. I’ll be right back.”
After finishing your tea, you fell asleep in Jaehyun’s arms. Jaehyun slept next to you ever since you fucked the first time in your room. He used his room to change his clothes and write.
The next day, Jaehyun had a meeting with his publisher, he told you he’d take you to the hospital as soon as he came back, but when you woke up, you felt sick again. You called Haein, you didn’t want to disturb Jaehyun during his meeting, you told her about the nausea you felt. Haein came as soon as she could.
“So you’ve been feeling bad for a couple weeks now?”
You nodded.
“Honey, when was the last time you had your period?” she asked slowly, it didn’t take her long to understand what was happening to you.
“I don’t k-know. Over a month ago? My period i-is late. I’ve been waiting for over a week now.”
“D-Did you have sex without a condom?” she asked you straightforward. You nodded, “B-But I’m on birth control.”
Haein pulled something out of her bag. “W-What’s that?” you asked her, even though you knew exactly what it was.
“Just try it. It’s going to be okay.” She encouraged you.
Without saying anything, you took the pregnancy test and entered the bathroom. You looked at it for a minute. Could it really be? But you were careful, right? It’s impossible. You peed on the stick and left it in the bathroom. Haein held you in her arms and told you that everything’s going to be alright.
A couple minutes later, you asked her to look at the result.
“It’s positive.” She whispered, staring at the result.
“You’re lying.”
She handed you the test, “This can’t be true. I-It’s just one test.” You mumbled.
“I bought another one, just in case.” Haein said.
You tried the second test and it was again, positive.
You didn’t know what to feel. You couldn’t stop crying. Happy tears? Sad tears? You didn’t know. What was Jaehyun going to say? Your family? What were you going to do now? Are you even ready to be a mom? Is Jaehyun going to leave you? What about-
“Look at me.” Haein interrupted your thoughts, “Everything is going to be alright, do you hear me? Y/n, I’m with you, Jaehyun is with you, no matter what’s going to happen next. I’m always here for you. I know you’re scared, but I promise you everything’s going to be alright.”
You hugged her tightly and cried your heart out.
“Baby? I’m back home!” Jaehyun announced his arrival. You wiped your tears away and tried to breathe calmly.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Haein asked.
“N-No it’s okay, thank you for everything.”
You held the pregnancy tests tightly and walked Haein to the door.
“Oh hey Haein, thank you for staying with her. Are you feeling better baby?” he greeted Haein and pecked your lips.
“No problem, I’m always there. If anything happens, I’m just a call away.” She assured you and you smiled softly at her.
After Haein left, Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you and sat down on the couch, placing you on his lap. Jaehyun noticed you holding something, “What’s that baby?”
You breathed in and out and slowly showed him the tests. Jaehyun gulped, this isn’t what he think it is, right? His grip on your hips tightened, without him noticing.
“You’re pranking me right? It’s not funny y/n.” the look on Jaehyun’s face was a look you’ve never seen before.
“They are both positive and I’m n-not pranking you.” Your lower lip trembled and your hands were shaking, “I-I’m pregnant.” You whispered the last part.
“I said this is not funny y/n.” he pushed you off of his lap to the couch, standing up abruptly, ignoring the look on your face. Jaehyun entered the kitchen to drink some water. His grip around the glass was tight and he gulped the water down in one go. You followed him slowly. “J-Jaehyun I’m n-not joking. I would never j-joke about that.”
Jaehyun’s grip tightened. He looked at the sink, not sure what to do.
“P-Please say something.” You walked up to him and placed your hand on his shoulder. “Tests are never 100% safe-“
“I did two test Jae and my period is late-“
“I don’t fucking care! You were on birth control, you can’t be pre- it can’t be positive!” Jaehyun yelled at you and you stepped back.
“Birth control is not 100% s-safe and I-I know we didn’t p-plan this but-“
“There are no buts, y/n. Just go and get rid of it before it’s too late.”
Your eyes widened at his words. “W-What?” you felt the tears form at the corner of your eyes.
“You heard me. I don’t want to be a father, not now, not ever. How can you be so irresponsible?!” he yelled now.
What did he just say?
“Irresponsible? Jaehyun you’re a part of this! It takes two to make a baby!” you yelled back. You were heartbroken.
“It was your idea to fuck raw! It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to use fucking birth control!”
“Are you blaming me for this? I can’t believe you.” You broke out in tears.
“Don’t fucking talk to me until you get rid of it.” And with that, Jaehyun left you alone in the apartment.
You couldn’t stop crying, everything was too much for you. You never thought that Jaehyun could be such a heartless monster. You locked yourself in your bedroom, you hid under your blankets and you prayed that this was just a bad dream you would wake up from.
Jaehyun didn’t even try to talk to you that night, you heard his door open and close. For the first time in a year, he slept in his room again.
You thought about the pros and cons of an abortion, maybe he was right. A maybe you weren’t ready for a baby. You don’t have a stable job, you’re not even married, your mother would kill you if she found out you got pregnant before marriage.
Your parents loved Jaehyun though, he had met them almost half a year ago, you video called them to show them your perfect boyfriend who treated you like a queen. Your dad was happy that there was a man who looked after you besides Doyoung, but your mother didn’t like the thought of you living with a man you weren’t married to. But they accepted him and welcomed him to the family. Jaehyun never talked or introduced you to his parents, and that was okay.
Jaehyun didn’t sleep at all that night, whenever he closed his eyes, his past haunted him. The past he never talked about, and he never wanted to talk about. The reason why he never wanted to have a child.
The next morning, you tiptoed your way out of the apartment without waking Jaehyun up, he was awake already and heard the front door close.
You’re appointment made you nervous. Your mind was foggy and your eyes hurt. You cried non-stop, your heart hurt and you felt lonelier than ever. The second the doctor called out your name, your heart stopped beating. You were really going to do it, but the second you entered the room, you stopped in your tracks.
When you entered the apartment, Jaehyun was waiting on the couch, his leg bouncing up and down due the nervousness. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t. Jaehyun stood up as soon as he saw you. “How did it go?” he asked you, stepping closer to you. He wanted to apologize for being so harsh to you, but as soon as the following word left your lips, he stepped back.
“I didn’t do it.” You said calmly.
“What do you mean you didn’t do it?”
“I’m going to keep my baby.” You looked up now.
“This isn’t a decision you can make on your own.” He said through gritted teeth.
“You deciding I get an abortion is also a decision you made on your own. I never said I wanted to get an abortion.”
“It’s the only logical way-“
“Why?! Why is it the only logical way?!” you yelled angrily. He was driving you crazy.
“How are you going to raise a child?! You work at a café and a restaurant, you can’t even take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of a baby? You’re not ready to be a mother and I never wanted to have kids! I can’t even afford shit for myself, how are we supposed to buy shit a baby needs? This isn’t a pet you just feed and take out for a walk!”
“How would you know if I’m ready to be a mother?! I can find a stable job, I can provide for us-“
“You can’t do fucking shit! You can’t even take birth control. You fucking destroyed everything,” he pointed with his finger at you, “You messed everything up!”
“I don’t need you to raise my child… I can raise my baby on my own, you disgust me, Jaehyun. I never thought you’d be this heartless. I can’t believe you blame me. I can’t believe you a-act like this. My baby doesn’t deserve a father like you.” You were crying and you didn’t care about anything anymore. You just wanted to be alone.
You left Jaehyun standing all alone in the living, you ran to the bathroom to let everything out, you morning sickness was kicking your ass, but you didn’t mind. Jaehyun couldn’t take it anymore and left the apartment once again. That’s how your relationship fell apart.
You called Haein. She came over and held you in her arms. You cried like there was no tomorrow. “Baby you need to stop crying. You don’t need him. You have to stay strong for your baby.” She caressed your belly.
“D-Do you think it’s the right decision to keep my baby?” you asked between sobs.
“I can’t tell you that, you’re the only one who can tell that. It’s your decision, but I’ll support you no matter how you decided.”
“H-he hates me. He looked at m-me like I was a disease. He doesn’t want my baby.” You cried out. Your heart hurt and you were in pain. Jaehyun broke your heart with his words and every time you closed your eyes, you saw his angry face telling you that it was your fault and that you destroyed everything. You almost believed him.
“I’m here, I’ll go with you through this.”
You wished it was Jaehyun saying those things.
“Thank you for everything.” You hugged your best friend tightly and fell asleep.
It took you awhile to decide what was going to happen next. You didn’t see Jaehyun since that morning, it’s been three days. You’re lease expired in seven months and even though you didn’t want to be at the same place as Jaehyun, you weren’t going to move out. If he wants to go then he should, but you had to find a new, stable job first before you could move out again.
When you saw Jaehyun in the kitchen, you decided to tell him about your plan. “When are you moving out?” you asked him. Jaehyun turned around, a bottle apple juice in his hand.
“Excuse me?” he said.
“You’re not going to stay here or am I wrong?”
“I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one who’s going to move out.” he huffed.
“My lease expires in seven months. I’m going to stay until my lease is over, I have more important things to do, so it’s you who’s going.”
“I’m doing no such thing.”
You let out an angry sigh, “Fine. I’m also not going. Let’s not cross each other’s path, I don’t want to be reminded that you live here too.” Jaehyun just nodded, looking away from you.
“That’s it then.”
“That’s it.”
You glanced at each with anger and suddenly the smell of eggs hit your nose. You scrunched your face and held your hand against your mouth. You rushed to the bathroom to puke. Jaehyun almost ran after you but he stopped in his tracks.
You had an appointment at you gynecologist tomorrow and you were so excited, you couldn’t sleep. Haein promised to go to all of your appointments with you and you were glad you had her in your life.
“Everything looks perfect. You’re six weeks pregnant. Congratulations.” Your doctor told you and you could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes. You looked to Haein who was already crying, “I can’t wait to be an aunt.”
Your doctor gave you another appointment and you were so excited already, you could make this, you didn’t need Jaehyun.
The following weeks you told your friends about your pregnancy. Jungwoo started crying and Yuta was about to beat the shit out of Jaehyun. Doyoung was shocked and didn’t know what to do, but they all promised to be there for you. Your friends helped you quit your two jobs and with Taeil’s help, you got a job in his company. Luck was on your side, the position got free at the perfect time for you, you even were allowed to work from home. You and Jaehyun tried your best to avoid each other and it worked, except for times you had to puke and he was under the shower. It was a habit to leave the door unlocked after Jaehyun started dating you, he always waited for you to join, but after your breakup he forgot to lock it.
You rushed to the bathroom, ignoring Jaehyun’s yells and puked, once again. Fuck, you had enough of the morning sickness.
“What the fuck are you doing?!”
“Do you want me to puke in the kitchen instead?!” you yelled back as you washed your mouth. You left before he could say anything.
It was hard to get used to sleeping alone. You missed the warmth around you, so you asked Haein to sleep over. “This isn’t working.” You said as you turned to her. “I don’t even feel your presence.”
“You need to sleep, we’re going to the gynecologist tomorrow.” She mumbled, eyes closed.
“I’m thirsty.”
“There’s a water bottle next to you.”
“But I don’t want water. I want apple juice. I think we still have some left.  I’ll be right back.”
It was three in the morning and you didn’t think you’d meet Jaehyun, eating a bowl of cereal in the kitchen.  You looked at each other for a second and then ignored each other’s presence again. You poured yourself a glass apple juice. You ignored each other like you always did.
The following weeks were like hell, you puked almost every morning and you breasts hurt and your mood swings were horrible. You watched a movie with Haein in the living room and you cried like never before and you never cried like this while watching a movie. Then, you were absolutely mad at Jaehyun for making a mess out of the kitchen and going back to his room.
You knocked harshly on his door. Jaehyun opened angrily door, “What?!”
“Clean up after you! The kitchen is a mess!”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” He fired back.
“Jaehyun, don’t make me angrier than I am, clean the fucking kitchen!”
“If it bothers you this much, clean up yourself!” he slammed the door shut and you tried to calm down. You couldn’t let the kitchen like that so you cleaned up.
You ordered a pizza and did what Jaehyun hated the most. You ate in the living room.
You hoped Jaehyun would leave his room and see that you were going against his stupid rules and he did. “Eat in the kitchen.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“You know I hate it when the apartment smells like food.” He said through gritted teeth.
“I can remember you eating here too.”
“That was different.”
“Can you go? I don’t want to see your stupid face.” You said bluntly.
“You think I want to see your stupid face?”
You ignored him and turned up the volume. “I’m talking to you.” He said and you kept ignoring him. “So fucking immature.” He mumbled, loud enough so you could hear him.
“Fuck you.”
Jaehyun slammed his door shut, there was no point in fighting with you, you wouldn’t listen to him. The second he left, you broke out in tears but laughed whenever something funny happened in the show you were watching.
You’re four months pregnant now and you’ve been feeling much better. You’re morning sickness was completely gone and you didn’t have mood swings, not that bad at least.
You were thinking of ways to tell your parents that you were pregnant, you couldn’t lie to them forever, one way or another they would find out that you were pregnant.
“Your grandma is going to kill me.” You loved talking to your baby, “But your grandpa is going to cry and then he is going to kill Jaehyun. You don’t need to know who Jaehyun is, but your grandpa is going to kill him.” You sighed.
You were interrupted by the doorbell. Who could it be?
It was Doyoung.
“What do you say to burgers and fries?” he held two bags of food up and you smiled happily.
You hung out with Doyoung the whole evening, Jaehyun not leaving his room once. He rarely left his room or the apartment nowadays, but you didn’t care.
“I can’t wait anymore.” Doyoung softly caressed your belly, Jaehyun left his room at the same time to go to the kitchen. He looked at Doyoung hand on your belly and he looked away as fast as he could. He didn’t even greet Doyoung, he doubted that they were still friends.
Jaehyun was making some pasta, but he couldn’t help but listen to your conversation.
“I was thinking about some names, what do you say to Bumblebee?”
Jaehyun almost laughed out loud.
“Are you crazy? You’re not going to name the baby after a Transformer.” Doyoung scolded you.
“I was just joking. I’ll think of names in a couple months.”
Doyoung let out a sigh.
“Doyoung do you think I’ll find a boyfriend ever again? I’ll be a fat and ugly mother, nobody’s going to want to date me.” You’ve been thinking about that the past couple days.
“Are you stupid? You’re beautiful no matter what and a guy who doesn’t love you because you are a single mother, is not the right one.”
Jaehyun’s chest tightened. Were you over him already? Were you ready to move on and date someone else?
“I’ll just stay single forever, I don’t think I’ll be able to love again.”
Jaehyun felt like crying. He had to distract himself.
“Men are trash.” Doyoung sight.
“You are a man.”
“I’m special.”
A couple days later, you called your parents to tell them about your pregnancy. They still didn’t know about your breakup though. Whenever you tried to call them, you never mentioned anything, but today you would tell them, you had to tell them.
“Hey honey.” Your dad said.
“Y/n, did you gain weight?” your mom asked you without even saying hello.
“A little bit, but there’s a reason why, a good reason.”
Your parents looked at you.
“You’re going to be grandparents.”
Your parents didn’t move and you almost hung up but then you saw the tears in their eyes.
“A-Are you mad?”
“N-no, just shocked.” Your dad admitted.
“I have to book the next flight to Seoul.” Your mother said, still in shock.
“Mom, you don’t have to come all the way here-“
“My only daughter is pregnant, what do you want me to do? Worry to death? I’m coming and that’s final.”
“Where is Jaehyun? I have to have a serious talk with him.” Your father looked serious. “I hope he makes you happy, y/n. I know how men are, if he doesn’t treat you like a queen you’re coming to Busan and I’ll break his legs.”
“J-Jaehyun treats me like a queen dad. D-don’t worry. He’s been nothing but good to me.”
“Oh my god, we’re going to be grandparents.” Your dad cried and your mother, surprisingly, also cried. After having a serious talk about things to do and not to do, you hung up. You were fucked. You couldn’t tell your parents that you broke up and that Jaehyun broke your heart.
You didn’t know what to do and they you got a text from your mother. Her flight was tomorrow evening. Well, that was fast, you thought.
What were you going to do now?
You slowly made your way to Jaehyun’s room. You softly knocked and not a second later, Jaehyun opened his door.
“What?” he said and you almost passed out due to nervousness.
“I know we don’t get along, I know that I said I don’t need you and that you don’t have to take responsibility of this, but-“
“But?” he raised an eyebrow.
“My… my mother is coming tomorrow. I just told them about… about my pregnancy and they still think that we… that we are together and my father is going to kill you if he finds out, not that I have a problem with that, but my parents are against having babies before marriage and I told them t-that we were serious so… so I think they’re not that mad at me because they think we’ll get married anyways and, and if I tell them we’re not together, I’ll have to go to Busan and I know my mother, she would force me to marry the next man she’d find on the street as long as I have… a man by myside. It’s sick, I know, but I need you to act like we’re still together until my mother leaves. I’ll figure something out after she leaves, p-please I need your help.” You rambled.
Jaehyun didn’t know what to do, your plan was stupid, plain stupid, but he didn’t want your dad to kill him, or perhaps he didn’t want you to marry someone you didn’t know. Jaehyun didn’t know the reason he said yes to your plan.
“Okay, what do I have to do?” he asked.
“Just like, act like you love me.”
Saying that out loud broke both of your hearts.
“Okay.”
“Since you’re helping me, I’ll try to leave earlier than planned, but I’ll still pay my part until my lease expires. I don’t want to be in your way and disturb you anymore.” You looked down to the floor and played nervously with your fingers. How could you be still in love with him? After everything that he said, you still loved him.
“Okay.” Jaehyun didn’t know what else to say.
“Okay. Good night.”
You entered your room, closed your door, and let out the breath you were holding. Even with Jaehyun’s help, you were fucked.
“So this is the apartment you live in?” was the first thing your mother said after entering your apartment. You and Jaehyun picked her up from the airport, when you wanted to help her with her suitcase she scolded you.
“Yes, it’s really comfy and we have a big kitchen-“
“You should let some fresh air in.” she interrupted you, “Where is my room?” she asked then.
“Your room?” you asked confused. Jaehyun understood what your mother meant.
“Yeah, the room I’m sleeping in.”
“Oh yeah right, this is your room.” You showed her your room and you realized, you had to sleep somewhere else.
“I bet you’re hungry, I’ll cook us some dinner.” You said.
“No, you’re pregnant. Jaehyun, can you cook?”
“Yes ma’am.” He answered truthfully. “Great, I want to rest a little bit, y/n, you should also rest. Wake me when dinner is ready.” You mother said strictly. Jaehyun and you nodded and left her alone in your room.
“S-sorry.” You said.
“It’s okay. I like to cook.”
But you weren’t just sorry for that.
You sat down in the kitchen and watched Jaehyun cook his special pasta dish.
“Jaehyun?”
“Mhm?” he said as he cut some tomatoes.
“W-Where am I going to sleep?”
Jaehyun stopped cutting and stared at the tomato. “Uh, with me I guess?”
“A-Are you okay with that?”
“I said I was going to help you, didn’t I?”
“Okay.”
After dinner, your mother decided to have a long talk with you and Jaehyun.
“So, when are you going to get married? I’d say before the baby is born, but It’s still up to you.” She sipped on her tea.
“Mom, we didn’t really talk about that yet, we wanted to wait until the baby is born.” Every time you lied to your mother, you felt a sting in your heart.
“Okay, but you should get her a ring Jaehyun. People should know that she’s in a relationship.”
Jaehyun just nodded, he didn’t know what else to say. He couldn’t even look your mother in the eyes.
“Okay, we’ll talk about this tomorrow. It’s late and you should rest.”
You were all alone with Jaehyun in his room. You waited until your mother wouldn’t leave the room anymore so you could go to the bathroom and change to your pajamas. Jaehyun on the other hand changed while you were in the room.
“I can sleep on the floor, If you don’t feel comfortable.” You voice cracked. Jaehyun’s eyes widened, “No, just sleep next to me, the bed is big enough.” Yes, he was heartless, but he wouldn’t let you sleep on the floor, especially not pregnant.
It was hard to fall asleep with Jaehyun next to you. You tried your best to make yourself as small as possible, you were scared to even touch his arm. Jaehyun wasn’t doing any better, he also tried to give you space.
“G-Good night.” You mumbled.
“Night.”
The next morning you woke up between Jaehyun’s arms. This didn’t mean anything, this was just his habit, you told yourself. You slowly got out of his grip and entered the bathroom to freshen up. Your mother was already awake and breakfast was ready when you entered the kitchen.
“Perfect timing, go wake Jaehyun up. My son in law should taste his mother in laws famous breakfast.”
You begged your mother to stop calling him that in your head.
You slowly entered Jaehyun’s room, he was still sleeping.
“Jaehyun.” You slowly shook him. “Mhmm.”
“Wake up, breakfast is ready. My mother is going to kill you if you don’t eat her famous breakfast.”
“Fine.” He rubbed his eyes.
Breakfast went smoothly. Jaehyun really enjoyed your mothers cooking, they talked about dishes you’ve never heard before. You were deep in thoughts when you heard the doorbell.
“I’ll get it.”
As soon as you saw Haein’s face, you realized that you have an appointment today. “Fuck.”
“Hello to you too.”
“My mother is here and she thinks that Jaehyun and I are still together, we’re acting as if we were because she’ll kill me if she finds out and I was so stressed, I forgot about the appointment but I have to go with Jaehyun.” You blurred everything out and Haein looked at you in confusion.
“You’re fucked.”
“I know.”
“Y/n? who is it?” your mother yelled from the kitchen.
“It’s Haein. Just say that you came to check on me or something.” You whispered the last part. “Haein?” Your mother walked out the kitchen, “It’s been so long. How’s your mother?”
“She’s good how are you?” she distracted your mother as you rushed to Jaehyun.
“Jaehyun,” you whispered, “We need to go to the gynecologist together. I have an appointment in an hour.”
Jaehyun sighed, “Y/n-“
“I know, I’m sorry, okay? I know I’m asking for too much, but I can’t risk anything. Please go with me.”
“Fine.”
You told your mother about your appointment and you asked her if she wanted to go with you and Jaehyun. Her eyes lit up in excitement, “Of course I’d love to go with you.”
And that’s how you found yourself at your gynecologist.
“Who did you bring with you?” she asked you politely.
“This is my mom and my b-boyfriend. My baby’s dad.”
Jaehyun felt weird watching the gynecologist do her job. “Oh, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
Your mother raised her eyebrow, “What do you mean finally? Did you always go alone on your checkup’s?”
“No, mom. I was with H-Haein. Jaehyun was busy with work.” You lied.
Jaehyun felt like he was being suffocated.
Suddenly the babies heartbeat could be heard. “You can see your baby here.” She pointed at the screen and you felt the tears form again. “So tiny.” You giggled. Jaehyun’s hand found yours. He still had to act like your boyfriend right? He gave you a soft squeeze and your mother teared up. “You’re going to be such a beautiful family.”
“We should find the babies gender out next time, but for now everything looks perfect.”
After your checkup, Jaehyun’s hand was still holding you, you reminded yourself that he was just acting. “What a beautiful day,” your mother said with a smile, “Are you planning on moving out or do you want to keep living in that apartment? Maybe you should move to a child friendlier neighborhood. You also should start looking for schools.” Your mother talked non-stop.
“Mom, it’s still too early to think about that.”
“You’re right, I’m just so excited. My only daughter is going to be a mother, oh god I’m getting old.”
Your mother decided to cook dinner, you wanted to help but she insisted for you to rest. Jaehyun excused himself to go and work in his room. You fell asleep on the couch after a while. Your mother called your dad and told him about the appointment. Your dad took care after your grandparents and couldn’t come but he would as soon as the baby was born. Your mother teared up as she told your dad about you and Jaehyun and how proud she actually was.
“Honey, dinner is ready.” She gently woke you. “Go get Jaehyun.”
Dinner was okay, you didn’t feel like eating much. Your mind drifted to Jaehyun and your appointment and the fact that he held your hand. It could’ve been like that, but some things aren’t meant to be.
After dinner you excused yourself to go to sleep early. You felt a heavy weigh on your shoulders and you were sleep, your breasts hurt and you just wanted to sleep.
You were laying on top of the sheets, you lifted your shirt a little to look at your tiny belly. You caressed your belly and talked to your baby. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” You told your baby about your worries and your fear.
You fell asleep with your hand on your belly, your body over the sheets. Jaehyun entered the room and saw you sleeping like that. His eyes travelled to your little belly. It was slowly growing, but it was still small.
“Y/n. Come on, get under the sheets. You’re going to freeze.” He gently woke you up.
“My body aches, I don’t wanna move.” You mumbled half asleep.
Jaehyun thought about what he could do and he decided to wrap you with the half of his blanket, leaving him without. He fell asleep next to you, face and body turned to you.
You woke up in the middle of the night because you had to pee. You saw Jaehyun curled up and he looked like he was freezing. You noticed that he wrapped you up with his half of the blanket and you smiled softly. You pulled the blanket until he was under it and after you went to pee you also got under the blankets.
“Are you alright?” he asked, still sleepy. “Y-yes I just had to pee.”
“Okay. Good night.”
“Good night.”
The following days were… pretty normal. For the time your mother visited, you didn’t work. Your belly was slowly growing and you were currently fighting against your jeans.
“Come on y/n.” you mother wanted to go for a walk, she didn’t want you to lay around lazily and she also didn’t want you to do things like cooking.
“Mom, I’m trying but it won’t fit!” you were at the verge of crying, “I don’t f-fit my jeans anymore.” You were so emotional all of a sudden. Jaehyun and your mother entered your room, your mother looked at Jaehyun and Jaehyun looked at her.
“She’s your girlfriend, go comfort her.” Your mother pushed Jaehyun to you.
Jaehyun didn’t know how to handle the situation. What was he supposed to say? His body functioned before his mind could, so he wrapped his arms around you and softly caressed your hair. “It’s okay, let’s just buy you new clothes.”
“N-No you don’t get it, I’m getting bigger and bigger and… and I’ll be so big and r-round.” You cried out. “You’re beautiful no matter what. There’s a life inside of you growing, you’re perfect.”
Oh how you wished that Jaehyun wasn’t acting but telling you the truth. You cried even harder thinking about that. Jaehyun was just acting, he didn’t mean what he said. He doesn’t care about you or the life inside of you.
That night, after so many years, Jaehyun cried, hoping the shower muffled his whimpers.
Two days later, your mother decided to go back to Busan, it was hard for her to leave her daughter, but you and Jaehyun assured that everything would be alright. The nights you spent next to Jaehyun were over and everything went back to how it was before your mother came. You and Jaehyun avoided each other again, only talking if it was really necessary.
Haein accompanied you to your appointments, Doyoung spent his free time with you whenever he could and Jungwoo and Yuta were also never leaving your side.
Today you decided to spend some time alone with your baby, you ordered a Pizza and watched your favorite movie. You didn’t know where Jaehyun was, but you used the opportunity to eat on the couch.
Your movie was interrupted by the doorbell. Who could it be? Haein was with Taeil and your other friends were also busy. You walked up to the door and opened it, a stranger standing there with a cake in his hand.
“Hey! I’m Johnny, I’m your new neighbor. I thought I could introduce myself and I also have a cake.” The guy was big, you had to look up to meet his eyes, Jaehyun was almost as big as he was but you shoved that thought away. He looked your age and maybe you could make a new friend.
“Hi, welcome, I’m Y/n. Thank you for the cake, I was actually craving some blueberry cake. You can come in if you want.” You smiled and moved to the side. Johnny entered with a smile and thanked you. “Sorry, I ordered some pizza, do you want some? Or anything else? Water? Coffee?”
“No thanks. But I wouldn’t say no to a coffee.”
You hung out with Johnny in the kitchen. You got to know a little bit more about him, he has a roommate, Mark, but he’s busy with his assignments, so he’d introduce himself another time. Johnny was done with college, he knew Mark since high school and they decided to move in together.
“I still need to buy some groceries but Mark’s too busy-“
Suddenly Jaehyun entered the kitchen, his eyes on you and then on Johnny.
“That’s the roommate I was talking about.” You said.
“Hey dude. I’m Johnny, just moved in.” Johnny introduced himself and reached his hand out for a handshake. Jaehyun looked at his hand and then back at Johnny. He shook his hand slowly, “I’m Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun glanced at you one more time before he left the kitchen, leaving you and Johnny alone. “Wow, that was weird.”
“Don’t mind him, he doesn’t like socializing. But I can go grocery shopping with you, I also need to buy some things.”
You spend almost the whole day with Johnny. It was really refreshing to meet someone new, someone as nice as Johnny. You were also curious about Mark and invited the two for dinner the next day.
“Wow that tastes amazing.” You said, Johnny helped you cook the sauce.
“I know right. That’s my mom’s special pasta sauce.”
“Here I am inviting you guys over but you did all the cooking, I’m so sorry.” You laughed shyly. “Don’t worry about it. So y/n. I heard you have a roommate.” Mark said. “Yeah, but he’s not really the best in socializing.” You got to learn more about Mark, their friendship and jobs and Mark’s major.
“I bought this wine, I hope you like it.” You handed them a wine bottle as a welcome present. “Mark’s not really a wine lover but I am, so thanks for that. Let’s drink it together.”
“Oh no, sorry I can’t drink alcohol.” You said smiling softly, your hand finding your belly.
“Really? Why?” Mark asked, taking a sip of his water. “I’m pregnant.”
Mark chocked on his water and Johnny’s eyes widened. “B-But you don’t look pregnant.”
“That’s because I’m wearing oversized clothes,” you pushed your hoodie up, showing them your little, but round belly. “Oh my god, congratulations. I love babies.” Johnny said with a big smile.
You spent the next couple weeks almost every day with Johnny. Mark was also hanging out with you from time to time but he was most of the time busy with college. You became really good friends and Jaehyun tried to ignore the fact that his apartment was loud and nosy or too quiet because you were over at Johnny’s apartment.
Today you’d find out your babies gender, Haein was so excited, even more than you. She also promised to organize you a gender reveal party, so you told your gynecologist to write down your babies gender on a piece of paper.
All of your closest friends, Doyoung, Johnny, Mark, Haein, Taeil, Jungwoo and Yuta were there, enjoying the cake and muffins Doyoung baked. Everyone was there, except for the father of your child. Jaehyun left the apartment early that day, you didn’t even know where he was and you didn’t have the chance to tell him about the little party.
“Can we please pop the balloon now.” Haein whined. “Okay okay, everyone, get ready.”
You were wearing a cute dress, showing your round belly. Everyone was standing around you on the balcony, they were as excited as you were. The second you took the pin between your fingers, Jaehyun entered the apartment. He saw everyone on the balcony and got curious. Did he miss you birthday? No he didn’t. What was going on then?
His gaze met yours and you popped the balloon. All you could see was pink and Jaehyun staring at you. Haein laughed in excitement, “It’s a girl! You’re having a little girl!”
You didn’t even realize what was happening, Haein hugged you tightly and you felt yourself tear up. Jaehyun kept looking at you, his eyes also teary. Or perhaps you were imagining things, you were emotional and your eyes were teary. Why would Jaehyun tear up? He entered his room and once again, Jaehyun broke out in tears.
After your little party, everyone left and you found yourself on the balcony, looking at the moon and the stars. Life was cruel, but you had your little daughter and that was enough. You called your parents to tell them about your babies gender.
“Yes, it’s a little girl.” You smiled softly.
“I can’t wait to hold her in my arms.” You didn’t need to see your dad to tell that he was crying. “Me too.” You were tearing up again.
“How does Jaehyun feel? It’s not easy to be a girl’s dad.” Your dad laughed.
Jaehyun knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he heard you talking on his way to the kitchen and listened to your conversation.
“J-Jaehyun… he is happy. So happy. I-I’ve never seen him happier.” You closed your eyes for a second and tried to stay calm, “He’s really excited.”
Jaehyun was numb. He didn’t feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. Jaehyun cried listening to your conversation, the pain in your voice breaking him. Jaehyun never stopped loving you, thousand tiny needles stabbed his heart. You were lying to your parents about your relationship, a relationship that was long over.
“You should go and buy stuff for her room now, and also clothes, oh my god, I can’t wait to see her tiny feet in tiny socks and shoes.” Your mother said in excitement.
“For her room?”
“Yes honey, or do you want her to sleep with you and Jaehyun forever?”
“N-no, Jaehyun and I are still thinking of moving, it’ll take us a little until we’re settled, then we’ll look for furniture for her.”
Your time was ticking, Jaehyun knew that. Your lease was almost over and you were going soon. He was going to lose you soon.
“Okay honey, go to sleep now, it’s late and you should rest.”
As soon as you hung up, you broke out in tears. This was all too much for you, the pressure you felt, the heartbreak, the helplessness. You sobbed and you didn’t even care if Jaehyun heard you or not, it was unfair, he wasn’t in your position. He didn’t have this big weigh on his shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” You stroked your belly, “Mommy loves you so much, and I promise to never leave you. You’re the best thing that happened to me, I l-love you more than anything. Please forgive me If I make m-mistakes, please forgive me if I’m not good enough. I’ll try my best.”
Jaehyun hated himself. He hated his family for making him such a disgusting monster. A monster who hurts his own child’s mother. The memories came back every time he saw your belly, every time he was reminded of the word father. Jaehyun watched you cry and talk to your baby, his daughter. You were so strong, so inspiring but every time Jaehyun tried to take a step forwards, he took five steps back. How was Jaehyun supposed to tell you about his past, if he was scared that it would make everything even worse. How was Jaehyun supposed to tell you about his abusive relationship with his own father?
You’ve been hanging out with Johnny the whole day, you went shopping for your little baby, just a couple clothes and toys. When you finally arrived home, you hung out on the couch and watched your favorite show, the show you watched with Jaehyun when you had injured your foot. Suddenly you felt something in your belly and got scared for a second.  
“What was that?” you said in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Oh my god!” you yelled, now in excitement. “What? What is going on don’t scare me!”
“She just kicked! She kicked me!”
Jaehyun heard you yelling and got scared, he left his room immediately.
“Look Johnny! Can you feel it?” you took his hand and placed it on the part of your belly you felt the kick. Jaehyun watched your interaction with so much jealousy blooming inside of him. He tried to look away, his eyes landing on the tv, the show was your thing, your thing with Jaehyun and now you were watching it with another guy?
“Oh my god, I can feel it, does it hurt?” he asked you in concern. You shook your head, “Not really it just felt so weird, she’s awake, come on talk to her!”
“Hey baby, Uncle Johnny can’t wait to see you.”
Jaehyun turned around and slammed the door shut, scaring you. Jaehyun was mad, he was furious. Who was Johnny to feel your belly and talk to his baby? Who was he to be concerned about you? Who was he to watch that with you?
After Johnny left you entered the kitchen to get yourself something to drink. Soon after Jaehyun entered. “I know what you are trying to do.” He said.
You looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion, “What?”
“You think he’s going to accept the fact that you’re pregnant from another guy? Do you think you can replace me with him?! How dare you watch that with him?! That was our thing!” Jaehyun suddenly yelled.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!” you yelled back angrily.
“You’re trying to replace me with Johnny, aren’t you? But let me tell you this, she’s my daughter. That is my child growing in your belly, not his.” Jaehyun pointed at your belly, “I am her father, not Johnny!”
Your eyes widened in shock. You didn’t know how to respond, you didn’t know what he was trying to say.
“What is wrong with you?! Now you care?! Now she is your daughter?! After everything you said, your claiming yourself as her father?! I’m not looking for someone to fill the role of her father, Johnny is my friend, he’s by my side and he cares for me and my daughter, unlike you who told me to get fucking rid of her!” you were mad. You were furious, every word that left Jaehyun’s lips made your blood boil.
Jaehyun clenched his fists, his nail dug into his skin, he tried to distract the pain in his heart with the pain in his hand. Jaehyun knew that you were right, he knew that he was the worst, that everything was his fault and that he has no right to yell at you.
“I-“
“You what Jaehyun? What do you still want from me? Didn’t you take enough from me, didn’t you break my heart enough? I-I can’t take this anymore, I’m not strong enough, Jaehyun. P-Please just stop hurting m-me.” You wiped your tears away and looked him in the eyes one last time, “I’m not going to wait until my lease is over, I’ll move out as soon as I can.”
Jaehyun’s lower lip trembled, he felt too ashamed to look you in the eyes. He lowered his head and you walked away from him, slamming the door to the apartment shut as you left. Jaehyun broke out in tears, hiding his face with his hands. He sobbed out loud, breathing became harder and his cries became louder. He fell on his knees, screaming out in anger, frustration, and pain.
“D-Doyoung I need a place t-to stay.” You sobbed into the phone. Doyoung shot up from his bed immediately and entered his car.
The second Doyoung saw you waiting at the entrance of your apartment building, he took of his hoodie and helped you wear it. “What are you doing outside, it’s so cold.”
“Please just take me away from here.”
It’s been almost two weeks since you left. Jaehyun was like a dead man walking. He forgot to eat, he didn’t write, he was stuck in a stupid, endless, cycle. A never-ending cycle of pain. He lost his appetite and his inspiration to write, telling his publisher that he had to take a break from writing. Jaehyun didn’t publish a thing for months, he had no inspiration or motivation.
Jaehyun slept in your bed ever since you left, he thought, maybe you’d come back and he could beg for forgiveness, apologize, and start all over again, but you never came.
One day, Johnny knocked on his door. That day, Jaehyun cried and apologized for all the mistakes he did.
“I’m so sorry, I love her. I always loved her and our daughter, I- I don’t know what to do anymore.” He cried out. Johnny sighed, he knew that Jaehyun was the father the second he found out you were pregnant and from that day on, he decided to make you happy and support you, you didn’t need Jaehyun, Johnny would be there for you and he was. Just like your other friends.
“Why did you even do it, Jaehyun? Why do you want to be a part of her life now, after everything you did?” Johnny asked him.
“I promised myself that I’d never have kids, I’d be the last one of my family, I should be the last generation of my fucked-up family. Nobody deserved to be a part of my family, this disgusting and horrible family. I promised myself that I’d never become like him and the answer was to never have kids. I can’t risk being like him, I can’t risk hurting my own flesh and blood b-but what if I can show him that I’m not like him, what if I can be a good father. I’m not like him, I’m better than him.”
Johnny didn’t understand who Jaehyun was talking about. He also didn’t understand what exactly happened to make him fear become a father.
“She still loves you.”
“She shouldn’t I’m not good for her.”
“I’m actually here to get some of her things. She moved in with Doyoung, she’s still looking for an apartment but she’s scared alone.” Johnny sighed, “I hate what you did to her, but I know that she needs you and wants you back. Maybe there’s still a chance for you.”
Jaehyun doubted that, but when you came back a couple days after his conversation with Johnny, he knew it was time to tell you the reason he acted like that.
You sat on your bed, you can’t remember leaving it like this, it looked used but you didn’t know why. You didn’t know that Jaehyun slept there. Your back faced the door, and you could feel his presence.
“My mother got pregnant with me at the age of seventeen. My father was twenty-one at that time. My mother left school and my father still went to college, both of them were kicked out of their own homes, I never met my grandparents and my parents never really talked about them. It didn’t take long for my father to quit college. He didn’t give a fuck about his education at that time, he worked day and night, to bring food home, to pay the bills and simply just to survive. After I was born, my mother also worked, leaving me with the neighbor, a grandma who didn’t have any family. She watched me until I was four, she died and left me. My father started gambling, he’d spend night at the casino trying to win money, but in reality he lost all of our money. My mother kicked him out, but it didn’t take them long to get back together. My father became an alcoholic, my mother lost her job and I was old enough to go to school. My father didn’t allow me to go to school, he said he had to give up his education, it would be unfair If I could go to school. My mother didn’t care. My father forced my mother to- he forced her to make dirty things with men in our home and every time t-they left, my father beat her up. H-He called her names and one time I tried to stop him. I woke up with a broken nose.”
Jaehyun cried and so did you. Your heart hurt and your hand found your belly, feeling the warmth of your baby.
“He stopped beating my mother and focused on beating me every time. He told me it was my fault their lives turned upside down. If I weren’t born, they wouldn’t have that life. It was all my fault, I-It’s my fault my parents had this miserable life. I-if I weren’t born all of that would never happen. They’d be happy and y-you’d be happy. Y-You deserve so much better Y/n and out daughter too. I-I was and I still am scared to be like him. I-I promised myself I’d never have kids. I don’t want to be a monster like h-him but I was and I hate myself.”
Jaehyun closed his eyes and took a deep breathe, “I always loved you and our daughter, there was not a single day I hated myself for the things I said, not a single day regretting my choice. I-I know you hate me, I know you don’t want me to be a part of your lives, but f-fuck, I love you!”
You turned to Jaehyun, his eyes as red as fire and tears painting his beautiful face. You weren’t doing any better. Jaehyun always avoided the topic of his family and his childhood, and now you knew why. It broke your heart to hear what he went through, it made you angry to hear what his father did.
“I didn’t act when you mother was here, I realized how happy I was. I kept the ultrasound picture of our baby in my wallet, I-I wanted to be by your side but I didn’t have the fucking balls to talk to you and win you back. I-I’m still scared of being a father, b-but you make me a better person, you help me grow and be good. Yes, I was jealous of all of your friends, even Haein. I should be the one to walk this road with you. I-I should be the one holding you hand, feeling your belly when our baby kicks you. I should be the one next to you and I’m so sorry for taking so long to finally realize. I’m so sorry that I had to lose you first to realized that I can’t live without you. I’m so sorry for the things I said, I’m so sorry y/n.”
“J-Jaehyun… I-I’m so sorry. I-“ you didn’t find the right words, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t believe they did this to y-you, I’m so sorry.” You cried out.
“I-I don’t want to be like h-him.” Jaehyun shook his head and closed his eyes. Jaehyun didn’t except you to wrap your arms around him. “Y-You’re not like him, Jaehyun. He did horrible and disgusting things to you. You’re so much better than him, you’re not like him. B-But you should’ve t-told me, you should’ve talked to me, I’d be there for you. I don’t want you to think that you’re like him. I promise you you’re not.”
“I’m so scared, I-I’m a fucking author, I didn’t write anything in the past months, I don’t have any money. I didn’t want you and our daughter to suffer b-because of me. I’m doing everything wrong, I fuck everything up.” Jaehyun was scared of the future, what if he loses his mind just like his father?
“Jaehyun, I just need you by my side. We don’t need to be rich, you’re following your dreams, I know how much writing means to you. The past months were… difficult, not only for me but also for you, I know that now. But we could fight all of that together.”
“C-Can you give me a second chance to make everything right again? I’ll do anything to gain your trust again, anything to be with you and our baby.”
“We can’t jump right back to a relationship. I’m still hurt. I understand you now, but I need to process everything. I love you. I always will, but we have to take it slow. Is that okay?” you cupped his cheek softly.
Jaehyun nodded with a pout, “It’s more than I deserve. I love you so much. You and our little baby. I’m so sorry for everything.”
You spent the following month slowly getting back together with Jaehyun. You were still sleeping in separated rooms, but you went on cute little dates and spent almost every second of your day together. With time, your belly grew and grew and Jaehyun was even more careful and overprotective. He never left you side, he helped you whenever you needed him, no matter if it was helping you go to the bathroom or cook for you or massage your swollen feet.
“Are you hungry?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want to take a hot shower?”
“No, I don’t wanna move.”
“Are you comfortable? Do you want me to go?”
“Jaehyun can you please shut up and sleep.”
It was the first night sleeping together. Jaehyun was so nervous, he asked you thousand questions and you almost kicked him of the bed. You tried to hide the smile that formed on your lips. It was so cute to see him so nervous and careful.
“One last question; is this okay?” he wrapped his arm around you, softly placing his hand on your belly. “More than okay.” You smiled as you put your hand on his.
Jaehyun placed soft kisses on your neck as he hugged you from behind. Feeling Jaehyun so close after months, reminded you that you missed him more than you thought. His breath on you neck made you so nervous, and you slowly pushed his hand up from your belly, over to your boobs.
“O-Oh my god.” Jaehyun cocked out.
You had to admit, you were absolutely horny and your pussy needed to be filled, the months without Jaehyun inside of you were horrible, your pussy needed release.
“What?” you whispered shyly.
“Your b-boobs- so huge.” Jaehyun felt his cock twitch in his briefs.
“Can you play with them?” you asked him suddenly. You turned to your back and looked at him. “I’m horny.”
Jaehyun didn’t need to think twice and pressed his lips on yours. His hand was softly kneading your boob, you nipples hardening slowly. He pulled your shirt up, exposing your beautiful belly and your boobs. Jaehyun’s lips found your nipple, sucking softly and flicking it with his tongue. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment.
“You like that?”
“Mhmm.” You moaned.
Jaehyun gave his attention your other nipple, sucking and nibbling softly. He sucked around your nipple and left a couple hickies, you looked so sexy to him right now, he could cum then and there.
“J-Jae I need you.” You half whispered half moaned.
“B-But you’re pregnant, I don’t want to hurt you.” He was conflicted, he wanted to fuck you so bad, but he was still worried.
“You won’t hurt me, it’s okay, trust me.”
“Okay.”
Jaehyun pulled down your shorts and panties, leaving you completely naked. You were shy at first, but you didn’t care, you just wanted to cum.
“Fuck me from behind, please I can’t wait anymore.”
You were on all fours when you felt Jaehyun’s cock at you entrance. He slowly spreading your wetness between your folds. He slowly pushed in, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Oh fuck.”
Jaehyun held you in place with his hands on your hips, he slowly pushed his cock until he was fully inside. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes fuck me please.” You begged.
Jaehyun thrusted inside of you, slow but deep. You moaned out loudly every time he hit your special spot, leaving your breathless. Whenever you clenched around Jaehyun, he tried to stop himself from coming. You felt his finger on your clit, circling and playing with it.
“You feel so good, I missed you, I love you so much.” He moaned, he was so close.
After two powerful thrusts, you came on his cock and not a second later, Jaehyun came inside of you. He was losing his mind, he filled you up to the brim.
“I love you too.”
Jaehyun slowly pulled his cock out, watching his cum drip out of you, he loved to see this. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
You smiled softly, “I’m perfectly fine. Thank you.”
That night, Jaehyun and you sat in the bathtub, you were laying against his chest and he was massaging your shoulders and neck. You were so relaxed and happy, the last month you had spent with Jaehyun were amazing.
Three months later, you welcomed your beautiful daughter to the world. Jaehyun cried nonstop and he was so scared to hold her. It took him a week to hold her in his arms, he was so careful and protective of this tiny human.
It was hard to sleep after you gave birth, the first couple months were filled with sleepless nights for you and Jaehyun, but you didn’t complain. How could you? You’d give up everything for your daughter.
Jaehyun found inspiration in his family, you, and your daughter. He started writing again and sold books after books, everything was perfect and you couldn’t be happier. You were so thankful to have Jaehyun by your side, you were so thankful to have your friends and parents. You were so thankful to have this tiny little human who was nothing but perfect.
Jaehyun changed her diapers as you cooked some dinner.
“My daughter is so pretty. Maybe a little too pretty. I’m telling you, no dates until you are fifty. No, don’t look at me like that. Fine, you can have dates when you’re thirty.”
You listened to Jaehyun talk to you baby and whenever he did that, your heart exploded. It was just so adorable to watch them together. Jaehyun held her in his hands and looked her deep in the eyes.
“Please forgive me for the things I said. You’re my life, my everything. You and your mother are my family. I’ll be the best dad, I’ll do anything for you and your mommy. Forgive me for the words that left my mouth when I found out about you. Forgive me for being so mean to your mommy, I’ll spent the rest of my days treating her like how she deserves to be treated.”
Jaehyun heard you sniffle behind him, he turned to you and smiled softly. “Come here.” He said and you hugged him tightly, your baby watching you confused. “I love you and thank you for being my daughters mother.”
“I love you.”
1K notes · View notes
anashins · 7 days ago
Text
Our Kids Talk about Us
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Title: Our Kids Talk about Us
Pairing: Jaehyun x You
Genre: single parents au, angst, fluff, romance, smut
Warnings: mentions of death, unprotected sex
Word Count: 10k
Summary: After his beloved wife's death, Jaehyun still wears his wedding ring to keep women away from him. When your kids become friends and his daughter starts to move on, he suddenly finds himself being the one stuck in the past. (x)
____
Jaehyun always wanted to be a young father.
What he never wanted to be was a young widower.
Yet, he found himself standing in front of his wife's grave at only 24 years of age, their young daughter in his hand, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to come out after all the attendees had left.
The cool autumn wind whipped the dripping rain across his face as he made sure the umbrella was protecting his three-year-old girl from the weather. When Jaehyun looked at her, her tiny head hidden in the dark raincoat, she raised her gaze to face her father as well.
“Mommy is lying here, daddy?” she asked him again.
She was still too young to understand what death let alone pneumonia meant. Why they had to visit her mom at this huge concrete building with only people in white walking around. Why her mom hadn’t been able to speak to her lately. And why they had to stop seeing her in this huge building altogether, even though she wasn’t at home either.
Why her mom would never come back home to them.
“Yes, dear.” Jaehyun softly brushed with his thumb over his daughter’s small hand. “She’s lying here.”
“And when will she come back, daddy?”
Biting his lower lip, Jaehyun shook his head as tears burnt behind his eyes. “I… don’t know.”
“But isn’t she cold?”
The little girl let go of his hand and walked out of the umbrella’s shelter closer to the grave.
“When she’s lying here, she’s cold!” she complained. “It’s raining and mommy always feels cold! Did you bring her a jacket, daddy? She has to stay warm until she comes back!”
Little Byeol wasn’t able to understand why her daddy suddenly sank on his knees, right here in the dirt.
She suddenly heard him cry after he had let the umbrella fall to his side, his palms now covering his face. Yet, she didn’t miss the sound of pure mourning. She didn’t need to understand the situation to know that her father was utterly sad, and that it had something to do with her mommy.
“Don’t cry, daddy.” Byeol approached her father and tried to wrap her tiny arms around him.
After her attempts had failed, Jaehyun wrapped his hands around her body instead and pressed her against him, embracing her tightly and kind of desperately. For the first time, he really showed his feelings in front of his daughter. He had been keeping up a facade of feigned strength for too long, he couldn’t cope with it anymore.
Jaehyun had lost his wife and Byeol had lost her mother.
Life would never be the same again for the two of them.
____
Six-year-old Byeol stood in front of the elementary school’s door with a pair of black biker shorts, an oversized shirt of a very well known sports brand and a red backpack that she had been using since kindergarten and was kind of embarrassed of.
But Byeol was not amused on her first day of elementary school only because of her old backpack.
She was seeing all these girls her age with their long hair twisted and twirled to fun styles with colorful headbands and clips as well as dresses in all colours the rainbow had to offer while Byeol was presenting herself in her usual clothing and short hair.
Byeol hated elementary school already.
“You must be Jeong Byeol,” the teacher greeted her. “Come with me, your class is right there.”
Byeol got seated next to a girl that didn’t differ much from the colorfully dressed ones she had encountered in the schoolyard, but she was quick to sort her into the category of stuck up people like the girls who were side-eying her so judgily just because of her outfit.
“Hello, I’m Jeni.”
What she hadn’t expected was to get addressed by the exact same girl she had just thought badly of. Now, Byeol had a bad conscience.
“Hello, I’m Byeol.”
Jeni’s eyes wandered over Byeol’s equipment that she had just pulled out. A simple pencil case with only a pencil and an eraser in it. Swiftly, Jeni had moved her fully equipped case into her seatmate’s direction.
“You can use my colors too if you want!”
“Oh… thank you.”
Byeol wasn’t ashamed of the fact that Jeni had directly noticed that her equipment lacked completeness, but thankful for her awareness. It was just that her father had promised to buy everything for her, but didn’t make it on time in the end.
“I like your hair clips!” Byeol complimented Jeni.
“And I like your shorts, they look so comfy in comparison to this dress!” Jeni then fiddled with her hair. “Here!”
Byeol’s hair only reached her chin, but Jeni was able to pull a long streak back and fix it with a pink butterfly clip.
“You look so cute!”
From that moment on, the two became best friends.
____
“I don’t care how much work you have left!” you shouted into your phone. “Today is your daughter’s first day of elementary school and she had expected you to be here, yet you weren’t!”
“Babe, please calm down!”
“I’m not your babe, asshole!” A few passerbyers turned around to look at you as you made your way to the elementary school, but you didn’t care. “Don’t you know that your friend Haneul uploaded your last night together on instagram? I saw everything! So if working so hard means whoring around, drinking until dawn and oversleeping your daughter’s first day of school, then you’ll never have to see her again, good riddance!”
You rolled your eyes and put your phone back into your purse as you angrily arrived by the school’s gate. Clutching your fingers around the door handle, you pulled it into your direction, but the door remained closed. You pulled on it again, this time a bit harder, but the door wouldn’t open.
“This cannot be!” you yelled and pulled on the handle again, reaching new levels of aggressivity. “What a shitty day!”
“You have to push it.”
“Huh?!”
Turning aside, you encountered the kind eyes of a man around your age, dressed in formal pants and a white button up, staring at you rather puzzled.
“You have to pull down the handle and then push it. See?”
When he laid his own hand on the door handle, you could see a golden ring adorning his finger. Almost the exact same ring, only a bit thinner and more fragile, could also be found on your hand.
“Oh thank god!” you let out, relieved as he opened the gate for you, and it didn’t slip by you that his gaze fell upon your ring as well. “I thought I was seeing things!”
You passed through the gate before him, but he followed suit and fell into your step in the schoolyard as you slowed down purposely.
“I’m Y/N!” you introduced yourself. “My daughter had her first day today.”
“I’m Jaehyun, and same. I had to drop her off very quickly this morning as I was supposed to be at work by 9. I wasn’t able to equip her with everything that she needs in time which was why she was a bit sour this morning. But hopefully, I can make up for that now.” Jaehyun held up a bag on which the logo of a very popular convenience store was printed on. “She said she wanted some stuff with… cartoons on it? Something with Pororo or so. I don’t know.”
“May I have a look?” you asked, and he nodded.
As you took the bag into your hands, you noticed that he brought a pack of crayons with cars on them.
“That was all they had that came close to cartoons. How am I supposed to know what Pororo is?”
You chuckled. “It’s an animated series about a penguin and his group of friends.”
“I’m a horrible father!”
Somehow, he sounded so disappointed in himself even though he tried to come forward with irony, and you could hear in his voice that this rooted deeper than just not knowing what Pororo was. You wondered whether this was usually the mother’s job and he had only been assigned to it because she currently didn’t have time or was abroad. But you thought that was no biggy.
“There is a stationary store just right down the street, they have Pororo stuff,” you recommended.
“You, Y/N, are my hero!”
This time, you both laughed as you joined the other parents in front of the building who were waiting to pick up their kids. Only a short moment later, the entry door opened and outside stormed a bunch of happy children.
“Mommy!”
Your daughter stood in front of you with the brightest smile on her face. With pride, you patted her head. “How did your first day go, Jeni?”
“Amazing, mommy! I made a new friend, her name is Byeol!”
“That’s amazing, dear!”
You and Jaehyun had quickly lost sight of each other, but you were sure you would see each other again.
_____
Byeol looked into the bathroom mirror and inspected her hair. She had unclasped the butterfly clip the day before because she felt insecure as it was something so new to her. But today, she felt confident enough to wear it.
“How do I look, mommy?” Byeol asked and waited. “Thank you, mommy.”
With a smile, she hopped from the stool and entered the kitchen where her father had already prepared the breakfast table.
Three bowls and three spoons as usual.
“Which cereal does your mom want for breakfast today, Byeol?”
“Today, choco krispies, daddy.”
“Alright.”
Jaehyun filled one bowl with choco krispies and the other two with fruit loops as it was his and his daughter’s all time favorite.
As they sat down together, he noticed the pink butterfly clip in his daughter’s hair. “Where did you get that from?”
“It’s from my friend Jeni, the girl I told you about yesterday. She gifted it to me.”
“Ah, I remember. It’s cute.”
“Thanks, daddy.”
Jaehyun wondered whether such hair clips were what all girls her age were now wearing.
Between his job, chores and his child, he barely had time for himself let alone to get updated with everything a little girl could be interested in nowadays. Probably also because he didn’t hold much interest in keeping up to date with fashion, hair and all this stuff, which was why his daughter was usually wearing what he came across when running errands.
Now that Byeol was growing up, interacting with other girls and developing interests in female stuff, Jaehyun wondered whether he had to change his way of thinking. He just didn’t know where to start as they lacked a female part in their family.
“Here.”
With much care, he put the Pororo crayons on the table, and immediately, his daughter’s eyes lightened up.
“That’s Pororo! And the newest crayons on top of that! Thank you so much, daddy!” Shifting around, she talked to the other, in Jaehyun’s eyes, empty chair, “Look, mommy!”
She reached for the crayon package and put it into her backpack, but not without giving her father a tight before that he returned with the same love and passion.
Jaehyun was aware that he lacked a lot of things as a single parent.
The summarized things mentioned above were only the tip of the iceberg. But Byeol had grown up knowing she was different from all the others with only having her father at such a young age, yet she had never held it against him when she had noticed things such as not having the newest clothes as she knew that he always gave his best.
She was a very humble and down to earth person, despite her young age.
But Byeol had her own mechanism to cope with mother’s death that had been extracted with time.
When one day, she had started to tell him things about her deceased mother, Jaehyun let it slip, assuming it was just a phase. Not much later, when she started demanding a plate for her mother during dinner and talked to her whenever she felt safe, Jaehyun knew that was when she needed help. But the therapist was at her wit’s end after a few months and only told him that one day, all imaginary friends would vanish.
But this wasn’t a random imaginary friend. This was her mother she imagined talking to, eating with and sleeping with.
A part of her life.
____
“And your wife never picks her up?” a mother asked Jaehyun.
He was sick and tired of this question that accompanied him since Byeol’s time in kindergarten. Even leaving on his wedding ring didn’t save him from those nosy, equally single and married women who wanted to check on his true relationship status after not having encountered Byeol’s mother.
It wasn’t like he wasn’t interested in dating again. He was just stuck, and his ring prevented him from moving on. He just couldn’t just yet.
“She’s busy,” Jaehyun shrugged it off and walked away from the woman the moment he spotted a familiar face at the other side of the yard. “Thank god,” he only thought.
“Yes. I love you too,” you chatted into your phone as you hung up and turned around to find Jaehyun standing right in front of you. “Hi,” you greeted him.
“Hey. I hope I didn’t interrupt you.” He assumed that you had talked to your husband which was why he quickly regretted having walked up to you. Who else would you confess your love to anyway? He should have been more considerate of women, even though he hadn’t intensively interacted with one in so long.
With you, even though you had only gotten to know each other, he didn’t feel pressured to run away, because clearly, you were happily married, so there was no temptation that could possibly lure him to do things he regretted later on.
“No worries, the conversation was already over.”
“So, then maybe you can help me with something?”
“What’s up?”
“Those… things…” Jaehyun raised his arms and touched his hair. “Those colorful clips in different shapes little girls wear in their hair. Where do you mothers get them from? Are there certain shops that have always passed by me?”
This time, you didn’t chuckle but were quite confused. If he was married, wouldn’t the mother usually bring stuff for the daughter or go shopping with her? He looked so seriously helpless that you were not sure whether he was joking.
You didn’t know anything about Jaehyun’s life circumstances. His wife could be abroad or working at most times. They could even live in separation and it would still be none of your business.
You only saw a father who was struggling providing his daughter the stuff she was fancying, and you were more than willing to help him.
“Okay, Jaehyun. Do you have an hour to spare tomorrow before we pick up our kids?”
“Sure.”
“In COEX mall.”
“Alright.”
The bell rang and short moments later, the kids stormed out. You spotted Jeni at the other side of the yard.
“There’s my daughter. See you tomorrow, Jaehyun!”
“See you!”
As you reached your daughter, she was already wearing that look on her face. You knew exactly what that look meant. She got that from her father.
“What is that you want, Jeni?”
“So, I told you about my new friend Byeol, right, mommy?”
You laughed. “Every day since you two met.”
“I invited her to play at my house today, because she doesn’t have the newest barbies. Can she, mommy? Pretty please?”
You patted your daughter’s head. “Where is she? I should talk to her parents first.”
If Jeni had made new friends, you wouldn’t want to spoil that experience for her.
She hadn’t had it easy in kindergarten ever since her begetter left town after she was born. While all the other children’s parents came in pairs, Byeol had always come with her mother only, and that made her a target.
To protect your daughter from mockery and more isolation, you decided to buy a fake wedding ring that should also shield you from the judgy eyes of the parents, to avoid the stigma of being a single parent.
“She already went to ask her dad. See? There she is!”
From the corner of your eyes, in the crowd of the parents and children, you perceived Jaehyun leaving the school, but you didn’t quite see the little girl that was supposed to be with him, even though you were curious about what his daughter looked like.
“Jeni, my daddy said yes! Hello Y/N.”
A little girl just as small as your own daughter, suddenly popped up in front of you. She bowed deeply at you and wore a rather shy look.
“That’s Byeol, mommy!”
“Nice to meet you, Byeol. Your daddy agreed, yes?”
“Yes. Here is his number in case you need it as he had to leave already.” She gave you a piece of paper. “He’ll pick me up at 7 later. I gave him your address as well.”
“Wow, you girls have planned this out so thoroughly! Then let’s go!”
You lived in a house with your parents who were helping you with the upbringing of your daughter. You owed everything to them as you surely wouldn’t have been able to finish your university degree in law without their help while a baby was on its way.
“Mom, we’re home! Jeni, show Byeol your room!”
“Sure! Come with me, Byeol!”
“Did you bring what I asked you for?” your mother questioned when you entered the kitchen.
You stopped in your tracks, realization kicking in. “I’m so sorry, mom! We finished talking, I said I love you, and then Jaehyun walked up to me, and… I just forgot!”
Your mother laughed. “No worries. I think I can cook that recipe without peppers. Who’s Jaehyun? Someone who finally piqued your interest?”
You rolled your eyes, but grinned. “He’s married, mom, and he’s a dad from Jeni’s elementary school. Besides… no one wants a single mom.”
“That’s nonsense, Y/N, and you know it.”
Tired of being on the verge of leading this discussion again, you said goodbye to her, left the kitchen and stepped into the living room where you flopped down on your chair in front of the desk and started working again.
Before dinner, the girls called you upstairs to play dress up with, and you couldn’t say no.
“Let’s see what we have here,” you muttered to yourself as you opened your makeup case and immediately, Byeol’s eyes were fixated on the many colours in the palette.
“Whoa!” she exclaimed. “What’s that?”
“Makeup,” you explained nonchalantly. “Haven’t you seen this with your mom yet?”
“My mommy isn’t… alive.”
You froze. In the way your daughter continued fiddling with the makeup brushes, you figured that this wasn’t news to her. But you were taken by surprise and didn’t quite know how to properly react.
“But that’s okay, because my mommy is still with me,” Byeol continued. “She’s sitting on Jeni’s bed, see?”
Byeol pointed at the other side of the room, and from the tone she used while speaking, you knew that she was being dead serious. So you decided that you would react as she was wishing for: totally normal.
“Ah yes. Nice to meet you, Byeol’s mom. Does your mom also want a bit of makeup, Byeol?”
She shook her head. “No, but she likes to watch.”
“Sure.”
You dipped the brush that you had picked up into pink powder and gently tinted Byeol’s cheek on each side of her face. She was looking at you with big eyes while you smiled at her during the process.
“You are really beautiful.”
“Thank you, Byeol.” Cheekily, you tapped the brush on her nose and she let out a chuckle. “You are even more beautiful.”
“My daddy always says I look like my mom.”
“And your mom is really beautiful as well.”
____
Jaehyun stood in front of the house, inspecting it from the ground floor to the roof. It was quite a contrast to the apartment building in which he was living with his daughter, and he had thought quite a lot about moving, but he wasn’t able to yet financially.
After having rung the bell, he waited patiently until the door opened in front of him and a familiar face peeked out from the inside.
“Y/N! You’re Jeni’s mom?”
“And you’re Byeol’s father, Jaehyun? What a coincidence!”
Now, it dawned on you.
Byeol seemed out of touch with the world of girls her age just like you, because your wife was dead. And there were certain things fathers couldn’t teach or show their daughters, no matter how hard they tried. Some things were only left to moms.
“Daddy!” Byeol came running out of the living room and greeted her father by the door. “I quickly put on my shoes and then we can go!”
“So… you’re still up for tomorrow?” you asked Jaehyun.
“Of course,” he confirmed. “Byeol has been talking nonstop about Jeni since their first day, by the way.”
“Same applies to Jeni. These two really found each other, it seems. It’s funny that, out of all the people, we started talking to each other as well.”
Since your daughters had quickly become friends, it didn’t wonder you much why you had felt a connection to each other from the very first moment as well.
When Byeol and Jaehyun were sitting inside his car shortly after, she couldn’t stop blabbering about how her day went. Jaehyun had never seen her so excited before. It had also been the first time that she had been invited over to someone’s house.
“Jeni has so many dolls and we played with all of them, daddy! And then, her mommy came up to us and helped us dress up as princesses! She even allowed us to use her lipstick, but we cleaned it off before dinner already. That was cooked by her granny, by the way! She lives with her mommy and her grandparents there and someone is always home. They made kimbap!”
“I’m happy that you had so much fun, Byeol. Did your mommy have fun too?”
That was a usual question Jaehyun asked as he knew her imaginary mother accompanied Byeol everywhere, and he didn’t want to make her feel as though he disregarded her own coping mechanisms.
But Byeol kept quiet.
“Dear? Is everything okay?”
“I… forgot her,” she only brought out.
“What?” Jaehyun was confused.
“I forgot her. I forgot mommy! She accompanied me to Jeni’s house, but I forgot her there! That never happened before!”
Even though Jaehyun couldn’t see her from the driver’s seat, he could hear how her voice became unstable, shakier, until she started crying.
“Okay, honey, no worries, I’ll drive back to Jeni’s house and we’ll get your mommy, alright?”
In the rear window, Jaehyun saw her nodding and took the next U-turn back.
Byeol had had so much fun that she had simply forgotten about her imaginary mother. She was afraid that one day, she would forget about her entirely and that on that day, she would simply disappear.
That could never happen.
“Please, don’t ask,” Jaehyun told you when you opened your door.
“Mommy!” Byeol stormed past you into the house and you were left alone with Jaehyun by the door.
“I know,” you confessed. “She told me today.”
“Oh… alright.”
The way he suddenly changed to behaving so uncomfortably indicated to you that this was a highly sensitive topic to him that he didn’t want to discuss with you in passing.
Everyone needed their own time to cope with grief, and Jaehyun clearly wasn’t out of his phase and over his wife’s death yet.
The ring on his finger was proof enough to you.
____
“What’s this even?” Jaehyun asked the week after as you came to a halt in front of a children’s clothing store in the mall.
Somehow, your schedule to follow through with your shopping trip hadn’t matched up the planned day, so you rescheduled to the week after when Byeol was at your place again and your mother volunteered to take care of her and Jeni after school.
But the short interactions between Jaehyun and you before picking up your daughters had remained on the days where it was your turn. And somehow, you started to look forward to them.
“That’s a tutu.”
“Do elementary school girls wear something like this?”
“Only to ballett and if they want to be special. Now come in, we want to buy a few hair clips for Byeol.”
Jaehyun was quite impressed and simultaneously intimidated by the stuff they were offering to children nowadays. He was a rather practical person, which was why he had never paid much attention to colours or cuts, but he now knew that these things became important to his daughter, so he wanted to change his way of thinking.
Jaehyun was also very relieved that you hadn’t broached the topic of his deceased wife yet. Whether it rooted from your sympathetic nature or no care attitude, he was thankful for your discretion one way or another.
“What’s your daughter’s favorite colour?”
“It’s…” Jaehyun paused. “I… don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Which colour does she use the most when painting? What shirt colour does she like to wear the most?”
“I rarely see her paintings. And I only bring her clothes I find while grocery shopping or so. Whatever is cheap and practical since children grow out of clothes fast and get them dirty all the time.”
“Oh...”
“Is it bad?” He sounded worried, but you immediately shook your head.
“If it works for you, you shouldn’t worry about that.”
“I’m only worried that it’s… not enough. And she knows that I cannot provide her more, because I’m just… a father. Not a mother. Or both in one person, even though I try my best to do so.”
“That’s okay, Jaehyun,” you told him as you wandered through the aisles. “You don’t have to fulfill both roles. But you also shouldn’t just overlook your daughter’s desires. Even if she doesn’t voice them out yet, try to pay attention to random things she drops. I’m sure you’ll make her even happier like that.”
Your words sounded very comforting to him, so he smiled while he followed you through the aisles.
In the end, you chose a light blue skirt with volants, a cute, white blouse and a pack of colorful clips as well as a new backpack for Byeol. You had recommended Jaehyun to choose neutral colours first as you find the typical pink way too over the top in case this wasn’t Byeol’s taste.
From the way he nervously held onto the steering wheel while driving to your house, you could see that Jaehyun was quite tense.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure Byeol will like it.” And carefully, you added. “And her mom as well.”
“Do you think it’s alarming?” he then asked you, apparently having decided to want another person’s insight, that’s how much he trusted you already. “For her to have an imaginary friend. I mean… she barely doesn’t remember her mother herself, mostly from photos. Yet, she often talks to her, takes her everywhere and treats her like a real person which made her a target in kindergarten.”
“If she’s a target now, I’m sure Jeni will handle the bullies. In our house, we treat her and her mother as everyone else, we’ve adapted to it. And no, it’s not alarming. It’s just her way of coping. When growing up, imaginary friends vanish. Until then, no one should disregard her feelings and always take her seriously. That’s very important.”
“That’s what the therapist said as well.” Jaehyun breathed out audibly. “I’m just afraid that it will break her heart when one day, it happens that she realizes her mother disappeared.”
You didn’t know what to answer to that as he was most likely right.
“What… happened?” you then brought over to ask. A question that had been on your tongue for way too long, but you just felt that the timing was right now. “To your wife, I mean.”
“Pneumonia. She succumbed to the chronical illness after a long battle in the hospital. Byeol was only three years old.”
“My condolences. I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t easy on you as a single father with a young daughter, I assume.”
“Thank you. And no. My parents don’t live in the same city and I work as much as I can to make ends meet. Sometimes, it’s very hard, yet I try to provide Byeol everything she needs. But even I cannot grasp everything.”
For you, who had experienced her parents’ full support throughout everything, you couldn’t fathom the ups and downs Jaehyun had been put through. Nobody could hold it against him that he made mistakes. Everyone did.
“If you ever need help, I’m here, okay?”
He only nodded, yet you still felt that he wholeheartedly accepted your offer.
Jaehyun didn’t have many friends as he didn’t have much time left for himself, and most of his acquaintances were still in their party and single life phase. Having someone with the same routine and time schedule as him, for the first time since his wife’s death, he felt that he was being truly understood.
“She was an absolute planned child though,” Jaehyun explained. “If I had known, I would still have gotten her.”
“And nothing else matters in the end,” you added.
That your own child was the result of a drunk college night with your now ex boyfriend who had left you, you kept to yourself. That was what your ring was for.
In the end, you thought that for Jaehyun, it didn’t matter anyway as he was still very much married to his deceased wife, even in his thoughts. Just like his daughter.
They hadn’t let go of her yet.
____
“We’re back!” you then announced when you and Jaehyun walked into your house. “Byeol, your daddy is here! And he has a present for you!”
“A present?!”
Byeol and Jeni came running down the stairs where Jaehyun was already waiting, with a bag in his hands.
“What is it, daddy?”
Byeol reached out her hands and he handed the bag over to her. “Just a little something for you.”
With hasty fingers, she opened the bag and suddenly, a bright smile mixed with surprise spread all over her face. “What’s that, daddy?” Byeol pulled out a set of clothing that had never been in her belongings before. And on top of that, a brand new backpack.
“Well…” Jaehyun got on his knees to face her. “I just thought you wanted more clothes girls your age wear. You have also grown out of your old backpack. And if you dig a little deeper, you will also find a few hair clips.”
‘“Thank you, daddy!” Without inspecting the presents further, Byeol dropped everything and instantly jumped into her father’s arms. “I love you so much, daddy!”
“Admittedly, Y/N helped me pick them out and told me what girls like. She was really awesome, so next time, your father won’t only come home with shorts and tees.”
“Thank you, Y/N!” Byeol also gave you a tight hug that you returned. “Can I try them on now, daddy?”
“Sure.”
“Come, Jeni!”
The two girls disappeared upstairs again and Jaehyun followed you to the living room where you sat down and chatted until it was time for the dinner your mother had prepared and you had invited the Jeong family to.
What Jaehyun noticed though was that there were a lot of photos put up - of you and Jeni and the family of course, a typical grandparents thing. But in none of these pictures did he spot a male person around your age. A quick look at your finger assured him that you were married nonetheless.
But where was your husband that you always said “I love you” to over the phone? Was he living abroad? Jaehyun couldn’t bring it over himself to ask though.
“Your mom can sit here,” you said as everyone came together for dinner.
You brought a stool close to the dining table where you had already prepared a place setting for Byeol’s imaginary mother.
“Thank you, Y/N!” Byeol said happily and from the corner of your eyes, you felt Jaehyun smiling at you as well.
And it somehow gave you pleasant goose gumps.
____
After elementary school, your two children had talked you into visiting the playground together, so you and Jaehyun were waiting by the ice cream truck while Jeni and Byeol discovered the monkey bars.
“How was she?” you asked Jaehyun. “Your wife. Only if I may ask! You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, you know.”
“We’ve gotten together in high school,” Jaehyun told you as you moved forward in the queue. “She was my first girlfriend. I loved her very much and Byeol completed our happiness. We saved up to buy a house together and probably move to the countryside. She loved the countryside. Overall, she was a very laid-back and calm person. Byeol probably has her personality from her. And her features as well.”
The way he spoke so fondly of her made you like his wife as well. Not the slightest trace of sadness resonated in his voice. It was like a happy memory he liked to think about every now and then.
“I think I would have liked her very much.”
“I think she would have liked you as well.”
As you got your ice cream, you seated yourselves on a bench where a group of mothers from the elementary school just happened to pass by. One of them was the woman who had tried to hit on Jaehyun in the beginning.
When she spotted you two, she directly checked you out from head to toe. Jaehyun knew what it must have looked like. You two were here with children and happened to both wear rings. She didn’t quite like what she saw, but Jaehyun wasn’t interested in clearing up the situation. This was exactly what the ring was for and the fact that you were also wearing one was only convenient to him.
“What is it?” you asked as Jaehyun suddenly stared at you.
“Chocolate is your favorite flavor you said?”
“Absolutely.”
“You cannot overlook that.”
“What do you mean?”
He laughed. “If you always look like this while eating chocolate ice cream, the baby wipes should be for you, not for Jeni.”
“Hey!” you defended yourself playfully. “That’s not true!”
The next thing Jaehyun felt was something cold in his face that then turned sticky. You laughed light-heartedly upon discovering his lips that were smeared with chocolate ice cream after you had smashed it into his face.
His shocked expression but then got quickly replaced with cheekiness. “Just you wait!”
You stood up and tried to run away, but Jaehyun was quick in holding you in place by your arm.
“Noooo!” you yelled, but it was too late as you already had his sticky vanilla ice cream all in your face.
To the other parents, you must have looked like crazy people. Or a couple totally in love.
“Mommy, what are you doing?”
It was only when your children stood in front of you that you both calmed down.
“Oh, we were just having an ice cream war,” you explained and Jaehyun laughed.
“Daddy, can we participate in the ice cream war?”
“Next time, honey. Our ice cream is all gone and look at us now!”
“I’ll go to the bathroom to clean myself up,” you announced.
“I have to go to the bathroom too,” Byeol said.
Jaehyun nodded. “Okay dear, I’ll take you there.”
“I want to go with Y/N,” she protested vehemently.
A look at you, and you confirmed that it was okay for you to go with his daughter. “Come with me, Byeol.”
“Can you buy me ice cream, Jaehyun?” Jeni then asked as you went away with Byeol.
“Sure. What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Chocolate!”
She raised her hand and grabbed Jaehyun’s. Pleasantly surprised, he squeezed it. “Just like your mother, huh. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s your father’s favorite flavour too.”
It was a nonchalant assumption that he dropped by passing without even quite realizing the background, but Jeni just shrugged.
“I don’t know what his favorite flavor is,” she stated dryly.
Jaehyun assumed that he was not the only one that came from a broken family, but that you were also carrying around quite a baggage you hadn’t been ready to talk about yet.
“What’s your favorite flavor, Jaehyun?”
“Vanilla.”
“That’s something I can remember.”
____
“Why don’t you go out with Byeol’s father?” your mother asked you when you gave yourself a last check in your mirror. “This Jaehyun guy is exceptionally handsome. Even I, as an old woman, can see it.”
“Because…” You closed your clutch. “He’s not over his wife's death yet. And he doesn’t know that I’m actually not married. I want to leave it like that.”
“So you do like him.”
“Please, mom! He’s still wearing his wedding ring. That says it all, right?”
“Those are only excuses you push towards him. What about you?”
You flattened your satin blouse and brushed the last lints from your skirt. “Mom, not now again.”
“Byeol said her daddy only wears the ring, because otherwise, different women would visit them. And Byeol doesn’t like this. So to prevent this, Jaehyun wears it.”
“Jeni!” You turned around. “What are you even talking about? And you should be in bed already!”
Your daughter jumped down the stairs into your direction. “But it’s true! There was a time, where Byeol saw different women entering and leaving their home, and she didn’t want it to happen anymore. So her father said ok, the ring would keep them away. And then her mommy came back. Do you think those women were witches or ghosts, mommy? Or why does the ring keep them away?”
“Alright, dear.” Your mother picked up Jeni from the ground. “I’ll bring you to bed.”
“But Byeol really likes you, mommy! That’s surely why the ring doesn't work with you!”
You gave your daughter a kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, dear.”
The whole ride in the taxi to the bar where you would meet your date, you thought about Jeni’s words. It didn’t take you long to get to the gist of what she was trying to say through her imaginative string of thoughts:
Jaehyun wore his ring because he didn’t want women to come close to him since his daughter was still trying to cope with her mother’s death. Whether it was also convenient to him, whether he wanted this too or only did it for his daughter’s sake, you didn’t know.
Throughout your entire date, you couldn’t stop thinking about this.
“You don’t seem like you’re having much fun,” your date judged after a while.
“I’m sorry, my thoughts were just with my daughter who-”
You closed your hands over your mouth.
“You have children?”
This was your first date in years that your friend had arranged for you and you messed it up. Your motto was to open up about your family situation only later, to check out first how the guy’s opinion on family and children was, and now you blew it.
“Man, if I had known about this… A single mom...”
But lucky you, you only thought when you saw how his reaction unfolded. A guy who couldn’t handle your daughter definitely wasn’t worthy of your time as you only came in a pack.
“Yeah, I have a beautiful six year old daughter,” you declared. “And I’ll now go back to her as you’re only a waste of time. Good riddance.”
Except that you didn’t go home, but found yourself in front of Jaehyun’s apartment building instead. You had been here so often before to drop off Jeni, so why were you nervous now all of a sudden?
You rang the bell and didn’t expect Jaehyun to answer in the first place as it was already past midnight, even though Byeol was with her grandparents in Incheon for the weekend. But he did.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s Y/N.”
You had already opened your mouth again to explain to him why you were here, but Jaehyun didn’t ask. Wordless, he let you in. When you reached the right floor, he was already peeking out of his door.
“Did something happen?” he asked when you entered his flat.
Dressed only in pajama shorts and a white t-shirt, you followed him to the couch in the living room. You had visited him almost weekly, but without the childish laughter of your children around you, it suddenly dawned on you that this was the apartment of a single man, and that you were alone with him in here.
“I brought wine.” You held the bottle up in the air.
“Okay, something did happen. Tell me about it.”
Jaehyun seated himself next to you with two glasses as you opened the bottle and filled the glasses almost to the very top.
“Why is it that single moms have to live with such a stigma?” you whined and took the first sip at the same time as Jaehyun. “The mothers in kindergarten, now in elementary school… Even men avoid me as soon as I confess that I’m a single mom. That’s just not fair.”
“Wait…” Jaehyun had problems following you. “What do you mean that you’re a single mom?”
“I’m a single mom.”
“But you’re wearing a-” He tilted his head to where your ring was supposed to be, but then noticed that it wasn’t in its usual place. The finger was empty. “Your ring…”
“It’s a fake ring.”
“And Jeni’s father?” Jaehyun knew that this question was probably worded a bit clumsily, but he needed to know right now. Suddenly, it somehow all fell together, even what Jeni had said to him by the playground.
“Was my ex boyfriend from university. In comparison to Byeol, Jeni wasn’t a planned child. The father was just as shocked as me and left not too long after. They still see each other sometimes, but she doesn’t quite see him as a father figure and he’s not really interested in being one either.”
“So you’ve never been married and still are not.”
You were puzzled why, out of all the things you just confessed, he was focusing only on the fact that you weren’t taken, and had never been. But then again… Jaehyun was a father himself. If someone wouldn’t judge you, then it was him.
“I’m sorry that I made you think I was married,” you apologized. “I just thought it wasn’t… relevant.”
“Why shouldn’t it be?” he asked.
“Because…” You didn’t know whether it was the first effects of the wine, but you suddenly started sweating in nervousness. Why even?
Why even? Was also a question Jaehyun asked himself.
The revealed fact shouldn’t stir something inside him. Honestly, it should be absolutely irrelevant to him. You were the mother of his daughter’s best friend. Yet, this new information lifted a veil from his eyes and it was like, for the very first time in so long, he was able to see clearly again.
And what he saw was a woman he had so much fun with, provided him with necessary tips for his daughter’s upbringing and didn’t judge him as a single father.
But above all, also a woman who suddenly had become desirable to him.
“Because,” Jaehyun whispered your words in repeat as he slid closer to you, and you didn’t withdraw. “It was the only thing that held me back from doing this.”
You hadn’t kissed someone in such a long time. You didn’t know how it felt anymore to kiss a man. But when Jaehyun kissed you, it was like you had been dead this entire time and were only brought back to life now.
Always, you had only been a mother. By daytime, you were a mother. In everyone else’s eyes, you were a mother. For once, you wanted to be a woman, and Jaehyun made you feel like a woman at this very moment.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, and without having to part your lips, Jaehyun grabbed you by your buttocks and arose from the couch. He found the way into his bedroom with only one eye open where he gently placed you onto the mattress.
Jaehyun’s lips didn’t stay on yours for too much longer. They were caressing the side of your neck shortly after, and you let out soft mewls as they wandered even further down to your cleavage. Every inch of your body that he passed by was burning and craved to be touched only for a bit longer.
Your fingers entangled in his hair as Jaehyun undid your blouse and out sprung your breasts that you hadn’t hidden in a bra today. Licking over his lips, he took them into his hands and squeezed the mounds that felt so full in his warm palms. The way his fingers then played with your nipples made you squeeze your thighs together and angle your back into his direction.
Whether it was because he was so good at touching the right spots or because your body had gotten so sensitive with the lack of attention, you didn’t know. But you sensed that Jaehyun was on the same page as you felt his erection pressing between your thighs as he laid himself on top of you.
Opening your blouse fully, you helped him get rid of it, then of his own t-shirt. But instead of falling back on the bed, you turned Jaehyun around so that he was the one lying down now.
“What?” he only wondered when you tugged on the waistband of his pajama pants. And then, he grinned and gladly let you do so.
His erection slapped back against his navel as you pulled down his pants, and he helped you strip it from his feet so that he was lying naked in front of you.
While Jaehyun was still anticipating what was about to come next, you seated yourself on his lower hip with his length in between your opening. Bending down, you kissed him on his lips first, but when his grip entangled in your hair in a spur of passion, you trailed your kisses down along his prominent chest until you reached his navel with your mouth.
Jaehyun’s dick twitched against your entrance, and you too now couldn’t await your full joining anymore. Still dressed in your skirt - which Jaehyun found utterly sexy beyond words - he helped you lift yourself up by your thighs and directed you to his tip on which he then slowly let you sink down on.
You grimaced at the pain with which he passed through your opening, a sharp and burning grind that was usual to experience when you hadn’t been with someone in so long, but to your dismay, Jaehyun could directly look into his face and the pain didn’t pass by him as well.
He stretched out his hand and placed it on your cheek. “Everything alright? We can stop if it hurts.”
You shook your head and placed your own hand on top of his. “I’m getting used to it.”
“Take it slow.”
You felt Jaehyun’s thumb softly brush over your skin and somehow, it added something so lovingly to this act that it made your heart flutter.
Cautiously, when you thought you had adjusted to his length, you began moving. Jaehyun was throbbing heavily inside you, and you weren’t able to remember that this position hit you so deeply. You felt his thickness intensely when you moved your hips in circular motions, gyrating them against his.
To get a steady hold, you put your hands on his chest as you gently rolled your hips against his pelvis, feeling him reach parts inside of you that pleasured you sweetly. Aspiring to chase after this pleasure, you changed your motions and decided to lift your hips and slam them back down on him again.
The first time you did this, you both moaned and Jaehyun buried his fingers deep into your ass cheeks. You threw your head back in satisfaction as you repeated the motion until you were screaming so loudly that you couldn’t hear Jaehyun and your slaps against his body anymore.
Sweat ran down your neck as it took you much strength. It collected in your cleavage between your breasts and rolled down your stomach until it disappeared in your skirt. You were so close to cumming, but you had totally run out of breath, and that was Jaehyun’s cue.
“My turn now?”
Being only able to nod, he flipped you around onto your stomach. Pulling your skirt up to reveal the full sight of your bum to him, Jaehyun gave you a hard slap against your cheek that made you scream but simultaneously crave for more.
Collection your hands by your back, he took them into his and pushed himself inside you from behind. Holding you by your arms and having brought up your hips to meet his angle better, he mercilessly and kind of desperately rammed into you with a steady rhythm so fast that you gave up counting how many pushes it took for him to bring you over the edge.
Your face was buried in the pillow, sliding along the sheets whenever he moved back and forth, but to let him hear what he did to you, you turned your face aside and screamed from the top of your lungs the moment your orgasm hit you like a wave a desert.
That was exactly how you felt. A moment two contrasts so great hitting each other, the joining was beyond words. You swore that you saw stars that moment.
Jaehyun came in long spurts all over the sheets only shortly after you while still holding onto you tightly.
He had slept with many women after his wife’s death to move past this tragedy, but none had ever made him feel the way you did. Suddenly, you weren’t just Jeni’s mother for him anymore. He wanted to take you again and again as he had seemingly forgotten how not only passionate and fun, but also enjoyable sex could be again.
Jaehyun had only felt this way with his wife.
And suddenly, he felt so guilty - for having actual feelings again. Even though he had seen it coming at some point, now that he truly felt it again, it scared him that he was actually moving on by himself.
He wasn’t sure anymore whether he was ready.
The ring on his finger felt like it had burnt itself into his skin.
____
When you woke up the next morning, Jaehyun wasn’t lying next to you anymore.
Looking out of the window, you noted that it was already shortly before midday. You quickly collected your clothes that had been thrown to the bed’s side, dressed yourself and walked into the living where Jaehyun had already tidied up everything from last night.
“Good morning,” you greeted him.
“Morning,” he greeted back and approached you. Not wanting to make it awkward, he came straight to the point. “Last night was a mistake.”
You froze, totally bewildered. “What?”
“When my wife died… around two years after, I tried dating again. I knew she wanted it that way, for me to move on and continue living. But it scared Byeol to see other women here apart from her mom. That’s when she started imagining her. We’re both stuck and I cannot leave her behind. I know my feelings for my wife will never change, and I also know that I cannot live in the past forever. For now though, I must. For Byeol.”
“Okay.” You agreed. “This, I understand.”
What Jaehyun didn’t tell you was that he was scared. Of falling again. Of loving again. How was it possible that his wife had been his true love when he started to feel the same with another person again?
He couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“I cannot start dating again before Byeol moves on herself. I’m sorry.”
“Mmhm.”
Somehow, this had gotten extremely awkward for you as it felt like a direct rejection, even though you hadn’t even approached him that way. Even though now, you desperately wanted to.
That’s when you knew you had to leave. Abruptly, you turned around, shifting your back to him. “I’m sorry, it was a bad idea to come here, to do this.”
“I-” Jaehyun stuttered. “Even though I want to. I’m just… not there yet.”
You only let out a saddened, “I’m sorry, I won’t only be your bed bunny, Jaehyun.”
“Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that!”
But you were already out of the door.
____
You still didn’t speak to Jaehyun, not even when he dropped Byeol off for a sleepover the weekend after. Instead of picking Jeni up yourself from elementary school, you sent your mom and closed the door in front of Jaehyun’s nose with only a “goodbye” whenever he came around.
“My father is so sad lately,” you then heard Byeol whisper when you came up the stairs to Jeni’s room later that night.
Wanting to listen, you stopped by the door.
“I hear him constantly speaking to your mom on the phone, but she doesn’t seem to answer.” You vaguely remembered that you hadn’t opened any of Jaehyun’s voice messages yet. “Do you think they could have gotten into an argument?”
“Is it because of the ring that he is wearing? The one that makes women go away?”
“I don’t think so! It only makes bad women go away. Your mommy is a good woman. I want her to be around me and my daddy. He is much happier with her. But she seems like she doesn’t want to be with him anymore lately. That makes me sad.”
“Yeah, me too,” you listened to your daughter’s soft voice. “I like your dad too, but he rarely stays now.”
It caused you a bad conscience that you were listening to such an intimate talk, so you decided to interrupt the two of them.
“Hey girls. Ready for bed yet?”
“Yes, mommy.”
You walked over to your daughter’s bed and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then kneeling next to the mattress on the ground, you gave Byeol a gentle kiss on her forehead. An urge made you stroke her cheek and hair.
“Y/N,” Byeol then spoke to you. “My daddy is much happier when you’re around. Can you please make him happy again? He’s so sad lately, because you’re not there anymore.”
“Byeol… there are many things children don’t understand that’s happening between adults. It’s... not that easy sometimes.”
You couldn’t be mad at Jaehyun. If it was your daughter, you would’ve done the same, you now totally understood why he had to draw a line. After Byeol’s words, you were also able to look through his facade to come to the conclusion that old feelings towards his wife were also still in the cards.
But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t feeling something for you.
He just wasn’t there yet.
And that was totally fine, you wouldn’t hold it against him anymore. When the timing and your feelings were right, you would get your chance again.
____
“How do you like the new clothes I bought for you?” Jaehyun asked Byeol. “Ready for the park?”
She was wearing a bright yellow dress and a straw hat. Jaehyun knew that he was only making progress with her as he had gotten help from you, and it saddened him very much that you were still mad at him. Justifiably.
He didn’t regret the night. Admittedly, he wanted to experience more. But it was true that his daughter came first. And his own wellbeing after such a tragedy had struck, he needed to come clear with himself first. If anyone would understand, then it was you. His many voice messages to you told you exactly that.
And if Jaehyun had looked at his phone that afternoon, he would have also seen that you had listened to all of them and were trying to reach out to him again after weeks of radio silence. But he didn’t yet.
“Daddy, I don’t think I want to go to the park today.”
“So? Where to then?”
“I want to visit mommy.”
“But she’s here right now, right?”
Byeol stared at you. “I want to visit mommy’s grave.”
She had never used this wording before which was why Jaehyun was kind of perplexed, but he took her there nonetheless. Together, they visited the grave only on his wife’s death day since Byeol had her imaginary friend.
Alone, he came here much more often, but his visits had shortened. In the beginning, he had talked to her the entire day. Then, during the second year, he stood there for an hour. In the third, Jaehyun brought flowers and left after ten minutes. Now, he was so occupied with many things that he only found a few minutes to spare.
After arriving by the cemetery, Jaehyun and Byeol stood in front of his deceased wife’s grave on a warm summer afternoon - a great contrast to the day of her funeral.
“Mommy says that she won’t be around here that often anymore, daddy.”
Jaehyun let his gaze fall upon his daughter whose hand he was holding. “What?”
“Mommy has gotten very busy and cannot accompany me everywhere anymore. She will remain here. When we want to talk to her, we can come here. She always senses when one of us is coming, so she’ll descend here and listen to us. But she cannot follow me around anymore, daddy.”
Jaehyun didn’t know what to say. He had expected the moment his daughter let go of her mother would be linked to tears and much screaming when realization hit. Or that she’d suddenly stop mentioning her, having her vinish little by little.
But instead, his daughter opened up to him here and now that she was letting go.
And moving on.
“Mommy wants us both to be happy, daddy. She doesn’t want to be in the way.”
“Oh dear…” Jaehyun sank to his knees and cupped his daughter’s face. “Your mommy is never in the way. She knows that we love her deeply and will always continue loving her, no matter what happens and who’ll enter our lives. Your mommy will always be a part of it.”
At once, Byeol slung her arms around her father and started crying. “I-I don’t... want mommy to dis- dis… appear.”
With much compassion, Jaehyun hugged her back. “She won’t ever disappear. She'll always be here. See?” Tenderly, he pushed her backwards and pointed at her heart. With her fist, Byeol rubbed over her eyes. “In your heart. In mine. And in everyone else’s she was a part of.”
“C-can… can we visit her often?” she sobbed.
“As often as you want.”
“Can… can Y/N be with us instead of mommy?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want Y/N to be invisible to everyone else like my mommy. But you now treat her like she’s invisible. And one day, she’ll disappear too. Like mommy. I don’t want that.”
“Oh dear…” Jaehyun smiled slightly and wiped his daughter’s tears away. “This time, I won’t make someone you love disappear. I promise.”
Again, Byeol fell into Jaehyun’s arms.
Where she had been the one comforting him during the funeral, he was the one comforting her now three years later. She cried her eyes out as she was letting go of her beloved mother.
And that was totally fine. Everyone needed their own time to grieve, their own way to grieve. And then, they could move on.
Jaehyun felt his wife smiling at them from above.
He wasn’t stuck anymore.
And one day, when the timing was right and your feelings on the same page, he could imagine putting down his old wedding ring and turning the fake one on your finger into a real one.
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bluejaem · 16 days ago
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⌗ . . . domestic moments with jaehyun !
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❛ not requested ❜ jung jaehyun × fem!reader, fluff, <1k
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❏ waking up next to jaehyun, and he’s already going off with those cheesy pick-up lines in the morning. “every morning’s a good morning if i wake up next to you,” his eyes crinkle at the edges and the dimples make their appearance on either of the corners his mouth.
❏ letting you walk on the safer side of the road while he walks beside you, with your arm linked with his.
❏ having romantic dinner dates. “would you like to dance with me, m’lady,” he asks, smiling from ear to ear as he puts his hand forward, waiting for your response. a soft chuckle escapes your lips because this little gesture of his. “of course,” you said, accepting his offer as you did a little bow, this time making jaehyun chuckle.
❏ having matching lockscreens. there was this one picture that you guys had taken where jaehyun’s seen smiling while you kiss his dimple. so jaehyun has one half of the picture (you) and you have the other half (jaehyun) as your lockscreen.
❏ looking at each other’s pictures as kids. “god, jae! you were so cute back then,” you laughed, looking at the polaroid of a cute little boy playing in the pool. jaehyun’s cheeks were flushed, and a sheepish smile adorned his lips. facing him, you looked at the photo and then back at him, “well, you’re still a tiny precious child,” that statement managing to make jaehyun even more flushed than he already was.
❏ him doing your make-up. “and this is the...” jaehyun pauses for a second, turning the thin pencil-like thing and reading what’s written on it. “— the eyebrow pencil,” you completed his sentence, snickering at this scene. jaehyun tried his best to act all cool about it, “yeah, i totally knew that. i was just checking if YOU knew that,” he blabbered, slowly leaning in closer to you in an attempt to do your eyebrows.
❏ cooking together. the way jung jaehyun can make a task as ordinary as cooking romantic. when he notices that you’re not able to tie your apron, he makes his way towards you, helping you tie it without uttering a word till he’s done. “shall we get to cooking then, love?”
❏ him tying your hair/you drying his hair. “that definitely isn’t it,” you chuckled as you felt his fingers in your hair, trying to tie a high ponytail, but failing miserably. “it doesn’t look that bad!” jaehyun retorted, tying the last knot of the hair-tie. “alright, A++ for efforts then!”
❏ even the shortest text from one puts a smile on the other’s face. be it a small “have a good day!” or a short “ily,” it always has the other smiling.
you: didn’t get to say bye to you today since you left early :((
you: have a great day <333
you: i love you ig 🧍🏻‍♀️
a small smile makes its way up to jaehyun’s lips, with the dimples showing as jaehyun softly says to himself, “i love you too, my love.”
jung jaehyun never knew what love felt like. but all that changed ever since you came into his life.
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© BLUEJAEM, 2021
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freakynct · 2 months ago
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!jaehyun, degradation, praising, unprotected sex, hair pulling
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“why are you passing so much?” you heard jaehyun chuckling from behind you and you slowing looked over at him again.
you knew exactly why you were passing and so did he. your eyes ran over his body, slouched over the big pillows and blankets, his legs parted in a very inviting manspread, and one of his hands rested on top of his head, his fingers running through his thick brow hair. you couldn’t help but divert your gaze to his arm, his black t-shirt hugging his flexed muscles so perfectly. you found yourself staring at him for longer than anticipated, as if he was hypnotising, and something about the smug smirk on his lips made you realize that he probably noticed that too.
“come here.” he murmured. his raspy voice sent shivers down your body and you felt a burning sensation starting to build up on your lower stomach. you didn’t even realize at first but your legs were moving ever so slowly in his direction. his body lifted up, taking a seated position as you stood in front of him. your body jolted as soon as you felt the tip of his warm fingers on your bare thighs, running up and down your skin slowly.
“you know i can give you anything you want if you just ask for it.” his voice was so calm but so confident, and even tho you were the one hovering over him he was still so intimidating in your eyes. you pressed your thighs together in a nervous reflex and jaehyun chuckled, letting his body fall back to his initial position over the pillows. you felt his gaze on you, his eyes running over your body, staring at your face, down to your chest and finally over your legs, and for a moment you felt naked under the sparkle of his brown eyes.
a rush of sudden confidence washed over you. jaehyun was not one to beg for anything and you knew that if you didn’t take this opportunity now you might as well say goodbye to feeling him inside you and you were way too desperate at this point to give that away. you started slowly making your way over him, your hands landing on his chest as you tried finding balance while you prompted your legs on either side of his body, straddling him. you tried to ignore the feeling of his rough jeans against the thin fabric of your underwear as hard as it was and as much as you wanted to move against it. you still hadn’t found the courage to look at jaehyun or as much as say a word to him as you simply played with the chain around his neck.
“look at me.” you heard him between a breath and you hesitantly lifted your eyes to meet his. he didn’t say a word, his eyes fixed on you and you noticed a smirk starting to form on his lips.
“what?” you let out a nervous laugh as you felt your cheeks burning and as you were about to divert your eyes away from him again, his hand catched your chin first, catching you by surprise causing your eyes to widen slightly.
“i told you to look at me, didn’t i?” although his voice still remained calmed there was something about it that made the burning sensation on your stomach to return 10x stronger. “answer me.” he finished. you nodded your head slightly, his fingers still grabbing a hold of your face, pushing your cheeks together. “if i don’t hear a word coming out of your mouth in the next 5 seconds i swear i’ll spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit.” you had to contain yourself not to whimper at his words and you quickly collected yourself.
“sorry.” you tried talking through the pout jaehyun’s fingers were creating and you saw his face relaxing a little, his hand finally letting go of your face, running his thumb over your cheek instead.
“good girl, you know what’s best for you.” he chuckled and his hands found place over your hips, applying pressure and forcing your body to slowly move over his. “tell me baby, have you been thinking about my dick all day?” your fingers digged at his chest as you tried not to moan at the feeling building inside you. 
“n-no.” you lied, your voice giving you away, so weak you felt embarrassed for already being a mess from so little contact.
“no?” the smirk on his face grew bigger, his eyes roaming all over your face as his hands forced you to grind harder against him and this time you couldn’t help the broken whimper that left your mouth, your eyes falling shut at the pleasure. “is that why you’re already soaking through my pants?” all you could do was blush. you knew he was right, you had been wet just from staring at him and now that you were feeling him grow harder under you there was no way to hide your eagerness from him anymore. you let out a loud whine as jaehyun landed his hand sharply over your ass. “i’m so nice to you and yet you’re lying to me.” he tsk you, slowly shaking his head in disappointment. 
“‘m sorry.” you cried out, the knot in your stomach tightening. 
“are you gonna start telling the truth?” 
“yes.” you breathed out. you felt like you couldn’t take the feeling much longer but suddenly jaehyun was stopping your movements all together and you looked at him confused and out of breath.
“tell me what you want.” his voice was stern and you swallowed before proceeding.
“i want you.” your fingers pulled at his shirt. “want you inside me.” your last words were almost a whisper but jaehyun could hear you well enough.
“what are you waiting for then, princess? hurry up.” he smirked and you lowered your eyes to his lap. you shyly moved your fingers over his belt and started undoing the buckle but you were suddenly interrupted by another spank, making you jolt forward and whimper. “i said hurry up.” 
you nodded as you quickened your movements, undoing his belt completely and opening up his jeans, pulling them down along with his underwear. you watched as the tip of his cock slapped against his stomach, red and swollen. turns out you weren’t the only one eager and needy.
“no, keep it on.” he said as you started to lift your dress. “you look cute like that.” you had lost count of how many times you had blushed at his comments. you took your underwear off and made your way to his lap again. jaehyun kept his posture, laid back with one of his arms behind his head. you felt observed by him but you were unsure on what to do. “do you need another spank?” he raised his eyebrow at you and you shook your head, but in despite of your denial you felt his palm against your ass again, ripping a muffled whine out of you. “you do since you’re still not using your words.” he rested back again and his body relaxed. “i want you to fuck yourself on my cock…” he hesitated, his smug smirk sparkling back up on his lips. “... or you can’t even do that, hm?” the way he was making you feel embarrassed only made the wetness between your legs grow bigger and you were starting to feel it stick to the inside of your thighs.
“i can.” you said as you remembered the rule he had set.
“show me.” jaehyun bit his bottom lip as he felt your hand around his cock and he watched you through hooded eyes as you lowered yourself into him, letting him slide inside you with ease.
you let out a breathy moan at the feeling of finally being filled by him as jaehyun let his head fall back, a grunt escaping his lips as you started moving on top of him. your hands found their way back to his chest, grabbing handfuls of the black fabric still covering his upper half in hopes of steadying yourself but you started realizing soon enough that keeping your composure while feeling his cock coming in and out of you was almost impossible. your moans grew more desperate as the knot in the pit of your stomach tightened and you quickly started realizing that you weren’t used to not having jaehyun’s help when you ride him and it definitely made a difference as it didn’t take long for your legs to grow weaker and tired as well. you didn’t stop but your movements were starting to slow down and you found yourself grinding back and forward on his cock more than moving up and down. your cheeks burned in embarrassment as you heard jaehyun’s mocking laugh from underneath you but you didn’t have much time to react before his hand was grabbing at your hair and pulling you down towards him, making you lay on top of him, his face only mere centimeters away from yours.
“you’re such a useless little slut.” he breathed onto your lips, the grip on your hair was still tight and you whimpered at the degrading name. “i guess i have to show you how it's done, don’t i?” and before you even had time to answer back to him, his arm was already around your waist as he held you in place while thrusting back into you at a pace so fast you almost lost your breath for a second.
you let your head fall into his shoulder, muffling your moans against him and this time there was no way you could keep them inside. you felt your core burning quicker and quicker with each thrust of his cock and the grunts coming from jaehyun’s mouth were starting to throw you into a spiral. if it wasn’t for jaehyun’s strong arms around your body keeping you still, you were sure you had already lost your balance.
“jae-” the words barely formed in your throat, being interrupted by repeated moans and whimpers, but jaehyun didn’t need to hear you say it to know how close you were.
“you wanna cum already baby?” his voice was breathy, tired from the strength required but he wasn’t giving any signs of stopping so soon. “you love my cock inside you, don’t you? you love being fucked like this.” you whined against his shoulder. the pleasure was amazingly overwhelming and you were starting to feel light headed. “you think my little slut deserves to cum?” you cried out a string of “yes’s” as you felt your orgasm dangerously close. jaehyun let out a loud grunt as he felt your walls clenching around him. “alright baby, cum for me.” one more thrust and you were squirming under his arms as the orgasm rushed violently through you, one last moan falling from your lips. your body fell weak on top of jaehyun’s as you felt him filling you up with his warm cum and quickly you felt his body relax too.
you lifted your head slightly, running your fingers through his hair and placing a soft kiss on his cheek as you watched a smile appear on his lips from the gesture.
“let’s stay here like this for a little bit.” he murmured, his eyes were still closed but his hand came up to caress your hair and you laid your head on his chest.
“but you’re still inside me.” you giggled, listening to his heartbeat right under you.
“i know.”
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zetaares · a month ago
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Jealous? pt1
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pairing: johnny suh x (f) reader.
genre: SMUT, kinda fluffy at the end.
warnings: AGE GAP, JEALOUSY, DIRTY TALK, fingering (f receiving), grinding, oral job (m receiving), multiple positions, riding, cum play (reader gets cum on her chest)
notes: slight make out session with jaehyun (it was necessary for the sake of the plot😀). johnny is 5 years older than the reader.
summary: y/n and johnny are attracted to each other, but him, as a professor, refuses to lose control. not until they attend the same party and he notices something which would drive him mad jealous.
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there was something about him, about his looks, his determination with students and the way he explained his subject, maths, that drove you crazy, but also, those whole three months and counting, you developed some kind of one sided love for him, and one sided because, there was no way in hell a professor would fall for you or any other girl, not to mention hookups, he was in his adult years, he wouldn’t be focusing on fucking around or even flirting at all, he had a job, and that’s it.
"so… " johnny said, writing with a pencil on a blank sheet of paper, to connect his eyes with yours "if this number gives us sixteen, what will its square root-" he stopped thus making you blink "god, this has to stop y/n."
you raised your brows, startled, where you speaking your thoughts?.
"sorry?" you asked, trying to set some type of innocent act.
"don’t pretend, not with me." he said, but you couldn’t decipher his mood "darling, you really thought i wouldn’t notice your glances?"
oh no, what you really feared of was happening, what you really wished to avoid.
"I can explain… " you tried to have his attention back before he was closing your folder and standing up, walking away from the desk which was in front of you "sir…" you said and he stopped on his own desk, turning around.
"sir? really? all of a sudden?, come on y/n it’s pathetic" he said, smirking, almost laughing in your face, you weren’t having it at all.
"see, I can’t help but to stare at you when you flex your arms, or sigh, or speak to me too close to my face…because I feel you do it on purpose…" he shut his smile, approaching you, making you move with your chair backwards until it hit the wall.
"on purpose you say? see, y/n, i’m an adult, you’re a kid, this can’t happen and you know it." he finally said standing right in front of you, his knees almost touching your uncovered legs, you could feel his stare drop, burning your own skin "it’s time for you to go now,  tell your mother it’s not necessary to pay me extra money, I’m offering this action."
"I’m not a kid, I hate it when people call me that… and no, I wont leave until-" your confident self started to appear when you noticed it.
"until? what, now you’re threatening me? come on." he said laughing, completing his actions, taking a step forward, the fabric of his pants barely touching your burning legs "you don’t need extra maths classes, you need classes to fix your manners…" he whispered, his eyes a dark black, his hair barely covering them, hands on his pockets.
"what? are you willing to teach me some of them?." you dared to say, sitting properly so you could grab his waist, your face oh so close to his dick, was it too much?, you didn’t even care, the whole situation was turning you a lot.
"fuck y/n stop it and go home, I can’t stand it…" he said grabbing your own hands putting them away "I mean it. go." he said showing you his back as he walked out of the classroom leaving you there, confused and… turned on.
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It was finally weekend, you and your friends were enjoying some good drinks, location? haechan big brother’s house, reason? he was trying to settle you up with jaehyun, a friend of his brother… weird right?
of course you didn’t want any other man than your fucking professor, because he was the main thought when you were masturbating or watching porn, you hated the way he had you mesmerised.
"yo y/n, what are you thinking about so much, it’s saturday, enjoy the night, well, it’s almost 2 am but you know what I mean" a drunk haechan spoke while clinging with your arm, you just let him be and patted his head, after all, he would always be there to take care of you if you got drunk.
"I know chan, it’s just… I can’t stop thinking about-" you started to say when you could feel a sight behind you, and you always trusted your intuition "johnny…" and there he was.
it was as if time stopped, you could feel you were in a movie scene, where the music shuts down and the only people on screen are the starring characters. he was looking handsome, maybe too much for you to handle, red shirt, a visible tattoo on his chest, glass of whatever that drink was in his hand, black ripped jeans, freaking bracelets and his hair was clearly done, it was backwards, his eyebrows giving you the chills.
"what? my brother’s best friend?, how do you know him" haechan asked making you look back at him, helping him sit next to you, his head moving uncontrollably due all the drinks he had consumed.
"what do you mean best friend?." you asked seriously, hands on his knees "chan, chan fucking stop laughing over nothing…" you tried everything you could to make him conscious, but it was too late when he started falling backwards, fainting "oh no, oh no no no fuck, chan… " you grabbed him, his head on your shoulder "chan do you hear me?" you asked, still no answers "come on…"
"…let me help" a seconds voice said.
"oh… jaehyun hey… " you looked at him and greeted, he smiled on response.
"let’s take him to the bathroom, here…" he said, lending you haechan’s arm so you could both walk there.
once you got there, haechan was quick to find the toilet and just puke all over the place but it. jaehyun and you exchanged glances, the aura of the place clearly bizarre and uncomfortable.
"I… think we should fill the bathtub with cold water, that’d make him come back to life basically…" you said giggling, jaehyun copying you.
"yeah, you’re right, that could work…" he said, looking at you, almost sitting on the counter, smile slowly fading and you hated to say you found him hot by just standing, it wasn’t helping at all.
"okay uhm, since you know this house better… how about if you give me a cloth and some products so I clean this mess…" you suggested trying to avoid any source of visual contact with him.
"behind you you’ll find the products, and he always keeps a cloth…" jaehyun started, slowly sliding the tub’s door "… in the shower… here." he said and smiled, you took it, looked for the rest of the stuff to start cleaning as he turned the water on.
after a while, the tub was filled, bathrooms door closed, and haechan barely naked.
"okay, lets finish this for once." jaehyun said and helped your best friend in.
"ahhh… it’s so cold…" he whined.
"yeah I know chan, but if we don’t do this… you’d have been asleep till tomorrow… you know it sucks" you said and he nodded.
jaehyun stood up and took a step backwards, closing the tub’s door, his shirt was all wet, and as a result it was sticking on his… abdomen, you had to make something, at least to show him you were grateful for his help.
"oh fuck…" he said when he noticed, pushing it so it wouldn’t be sticking "well, I guess I deserved it."
"what? why?" you asked as he walked towards you, unconsciously, you sat up on next to the sink.
"well… his brother told me to give him some drinks so he would get laid, guess it didn’t happen…" he laughed proceeding to unbutton his shirt, making you stare a little too much. "what?" he asked looking at you.
"what?" you asked, kind of trippy "did I do something I will regret tomorrow?" you said and he giggled, smoothly placing himself between your legs.
"hmm, maybe you were staring, and maybe, it was making things to me" he purred, hands curiously and cautiously finding its way up to your thighs.
"fuck…" you sighed, moving closer to him, your pussy almost touching him "I can’t sorry…" you started when you felt his lips on your neck.
"tell me if you want me to stop…" he said and hungrily attacked your lips, making you tangle your legs around his waist, your hands caressing his torso, his neck… biting his lower lip, as if your lips were made for each other, tongues moving fiercely, him grinding on you, you on him…
"fuck… yeah…" you moaned in his ear, not caring your best friend was behind that candlestick door.
"fuck, can we go all the way?" he asked, noses touching after he broke the kiss.
but right there, you took a moment to think, alcohol was just traveling through your veins at a fast speed and you didn’t want it, you needed it.
although it meant nothing to Johnny, you still felt guilty, because you were sure he wanted to be with you, at least a night.
"haechan…" you finally said, not kissing him again, slowly getting down of the counter, fixing your dress "sorry jae… I, I just…"
"no, it’s okay, i’m sorry I rushed it all I’m- fuck sorry" he  said standing right where you left him, so he passed his hair through his hair, looking down "I… will go change my clothes, if you need something just… call me…" he said to open the door and close it right after.
"fuck i’m an idiot." you said to yourself, opening the tub’s door.
"yeah you are, I was getting a boner watching you two not gonna lie…" haechan said laughing.
"never fucking say that again, what the fuck hyuck" you told him disgusted, sitting on the floor.
"I was kidding bub… gosh, I fainted right? I am dizzy" he said, his head on the wall.
"well yeah, you know, the music was too loud downstairs, and you just, fell, I caught you obviously…" you said and giggled with him for a bit.
then, after some silence haechan decided to speak up "hey but seriously, you should go and enjoy the rest of the night, i’m okay… i’ll dress up and go to sleep-" he said trying to stand up but failing, you looked at him with an I told you face "well, I guess I will stay here for a while…"
"are you sure? I can stay…" you asked, sighing.
"just go!, enjoy for me?" haechan said and splashed you, shoo-ing you.
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it was a normal wednesday, johnny was writing some stuff on the board as you wrote down everything that was important for later.
"he seems off… right?" xiaojun, your best buddie since kindergarten asked you.
you doubted whether to give an opinion on that or not, but, why wouldn’t you?, it wasn’t like something happened between you two "well yeah… maybe something with his girl… I don’t know"
xiaojun looked at you, still writing down on his notebook "you know he’s single, he’s literally the same age as haechan’s older brother"
you sighed, your soft hair disengaging from the back of your ear "see, the thing is I don’t really care about him at all, he’s just a professor teaching us unnecessary stuff." you said when the rest of the class went silent "oh crap"
you prayed he didn’t listen, but it was too late, he stopped writing on the board and his grip on the marker went harder. he turned around taking a deep breath, you swear he wanted to curse, he literally heard you.
"miss y/n, see me in my office after my class." johnny said fake smiling, to continue explaining maths, making you nervous.
"well this is serious I guess" xiaojun said "come on, forget about it, it will go okay" he said smiling, trying to cheer you up, which he accomplished.
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you knocked on the door, waiting for an answer, but not getting one. you opened it with no warning to find johnny letting his head hang on his chair, soft music playing in the background.
without opening his eyes he said "lock the door and sit down."
pathetically fast, you obeyed, approaching him, sitting in the other chair, putting your backpack on the floor, intertwined your fingers.
"I can’t fucking stand it, no more." he said opening his eyes, his chair slowly following his motions.
"what is going on with you?, I wanted to have a word with you last saturday, you disappeared" you explained, not breaking eye contact.
"wanna know why?" he asked leaning to you, forearms on his desk, you nodded "because you were busy hooking up with the jaehyun guy."
you couldn’t help it but smirk, was he really complaining about that? "oh, don’t tell me… jealous much"
he tsk-ed his tounge "me, jealous? come on" he laughed, standing up, walking and stopping behind you, his hands on the chair "I know I can fuck you so much harder, so much dumber…" lowing his voice, near your ear he said "I can’t help but stare at you every single day, it makes me mad"
you smiled, your own hands seeking for his "me neither, it’s obsessing" grabbing his hands and placing them on your chest, you said "johnny… I want you to fuck me, right now, right here."
"fuck y/n come here." he said sitting on a small cushion next to the door "let me show you what real sex is like"
you stood up as fast as you could, and when you were in front of him, he pushed you making you fall on his thighs, your core twitching over nothing, lips already on his.
the kiss was heated, your hips were already moving slowly above his, feeling him hardening, it was mad hot, you needed him all.
"fuck y/n, needy much?." he asked kissing your neck, you nodded "keep moving like that… hmm" he whispered in your neck, pulling you even closer.
his hands were big enough to enclose your waist, and fast enough to unbutton your shirt, you let him do you.
"want to ride me baby?" he asked tilting his head, making it difficult for you, you nodded moaning slightly standing up so he could unbuckle his belt.
"you got a condom?" you asked before continuing.
"fuck, yes, second drawer…" he said and you went for it.
walking back, you kneeled down in front of him, opening the object, placing it on his leaking tip, it was mouth watering, big enough to stretch you out.
"I’ll put it on…" you said, sliding the item all along his shaft, helping yourself with your teeth, making him bite his bottom lip, eager.
your nose touched some of his pubic hair making you gag, you stood up sitting on him again, aligning your entrance on him "yeah, come here darling…" he said trying hard not to thrust you yet.
"oh my god… hmmm…" you moaned slowly moving up and down, kissing his lips, you were oh so needy for him, it was finally happening.
soon enough, when you were totally ready, you fastened your speed, the sound of skin to skin full filling your ears as johnny thrusted you.
"fuck, fuck yes go faster hmm…" you moaned mumbling things you didn’t even understand.
"want me to go faster hmm?, ride this cock like you mean it slut." he growled kissing your boobs which bounced uncontrollably right on his face.
your moves were no longer certain, your vision was getting blurry, you were feeling so good, you could die on his cock.
"i’m- so- close…" you screamed in each thrust "johnny please…"
but then, he let go of your chest, and slided you out of him "come here." he said making you bent on his desk, ass up, fully displayed for him.
"oh my god!" you screamed, this position burning your walls, your own hand reaching for your clit.
"uh uh, no touching." he warned, placing his own fingers on you, pressing it hard, making circles on it "you’re so hot y/n fuck."
your feet were barely touching the floor and your skirt was up revealing your ass jiggle, the way your back curved was too much for him and your whole reactions made him want to destroy you.
"fuck I’m about to- I… hmm…" you whispered, your whole body twitching, making him stop, cock warming you, watching your whole orgasm take over you, his fingers still pleasing you "j-johnny fuck I-, hmm"
"can you take me some more?." he asked and you nodded, when you felt him turning you around, placing your legs on his shoulders, you could see his face frowning, you loved this sight "god, look at you, so fucking messed up"
as soon as he went into you again, he trusted so fast and hard, making your moans resonate uncontrollably, you were in heaven, this wasn’t right yet felt so good.
"I’m close." he warned slowing his pace, taking his sweet time to admire you, to kiss your whole body, thumb looking for your clit again "where do you want me to cum" he asked, you couldn’t even speak.
"m-my… boobs" you shyly said reaching for his lips which he accepted, fastening his speed again "I’m close again…" you said between kisses, gripping your boobs.
"fuck… touch yourself baby, show me how it’s done" he said sliding out of you, making you sit still as he removed the condom and stroked himself "yeah… that’s it baby…"
and as you felt your orgasm take over you, his hot cum covered your boobs, you squeezed them making a mess, but you didn’t care, this was all you wanted.
when you recovered from your high, you opened your eyes "you’re still hard…" johnny nodded, standing in front of you, slightly stroking his tip.
"yes I am" he said as you kneeled down "fuck, can’t get enough of this huh?" he said and moaned throwing his head back as you deep trothed him.
and as soon as you were going to stop, his hands grabbed your head and started to fuck your mouth, you were tearing up, he was right, you couldn’t get enough of him, enough of the whole situation.
"stay still I’m about to… fuck…" he said fastening his speed making you choke even more, when you finally felt him cum "yeah… that’s it, take it all like a good girl" he said painting your lips slightly white, watching as you licked it.
after a moment, he helped you sit down on the previous couch, he grabbed some wet tissues and cleaned you up, you were still recovering from everything, you felt amazing.
"sorry if it was too much…" he said bringing a chair, sitting in front of you.
you smiled as you clipped your bra, and tied your hair, in a lazy bun "are you seriously apologising? johnny that was the best hookup i’ve ever had…" you said and he giggled.
"so… hookup?…" he said facing down for a moment "see, I was going to ask you… if you wanted to do this more often you know… you coming over my apartment…" he started and you lifted his head, giving him a peck.
"of course I do… I want to be with you all the time johnny… I don’t care if it’s just sex…" you smiled at him and he suddenly hugged you "what?!" you giggled.
"this is my cuddle session, accept my love…" he said breathing in your neck, you smiled and patted his soft hair, closing your eyes as you breathed calmly.
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wondersung · 4 months ago
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WHEN YOUR CHILD CLINGS TO YOU
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TAEIL. you were hanging out with the 127 members and you needed to quickly use the restroom so you pass your son over to taeil. your son immediately starts whining and you reassure him you’re only going to the bathroom and that you’ll be back, but he keeps whining so you just run off and decide to be as quick as possible. he’s squirming in taeil’s grasp and calling out for you with eyes full of unshed tears. “mommy!” all while the 127 members are both comforting your son as best as they can and teasing taeil, telling him his son doesn’t like him and taeil is lowkey in panic and disbelief because he knew your son loved you, but not this much.
JOHNNY. acts pouty. starts to fake cry a little when his daughter chooses you over him. unfortunately for him, his daughter doesn’t care enough to let go of you and go check up on him. he says “okay” and acts like he doesn’t care anymore, but when your daughter wants to go hug him he’s like “no, you love your mom more, go to her.” and huffs lightly to make it more dramatic, but when she starts crying a little because she thinks he’s serious, he laughs at how cute she looks before picking her up and wiping her tears away.
TAEYONG. has the tiniest pout on his face. he wants to spend time with you, but your son won’t let him hug you. “let me hug your mom, she’s mine too” but your son just tightens his grip on you. “then at least you give me a hug.” once again, he receives a no. you can’t help but giggle at how they both have almost identical pouts on their face. “so cute!” you coo at your son; brushing his hair back and placing a kiss on his forehead once you take note of his furrowed brows. “what about me?” have fun comforting one without the other getting upset <3
YUTA. he learns of this at a gathering with the rest of the 127 members and their families. while he’s talking with the members, his son gets brought up. he has the cutest smile that resembles yuta so the members try to make him laugh as much as they can. looks around for his son and spots him sitting in your lap with his head laying on your chest. “hey come here.” but his son just hides further into you, prompting some cooing from whoever witnessed it. “your uncles want to see you.” but it does nothing. if they want to see him that bad you have to stand up and go over with him because otherwise your son won’t go. this obviously earns yuta some teasing from the members even though half of them are basically mommy’s boys too.
DOYOUNG. “hey, it’s my turn to cuddle her now.” he’s “mad” because your daughter has been cuddled up to you the entire day without leaving your side. wherever you go, she follows and if she happens to pass by doyoung, he tries to pull her to his side, but she somehow manages to run away and cling on to your leg. you let out a laugh from where you’re sitting on the couch, unwrapping your hands from your daughter as if telling him to come get her. he walks over and when his daughter notices he’s reaching towards her she turns her head away from him. you can’t help but laugh again. “come here, we’ll cuddle you too.”
JAEHYUN. we know he can get a little competitive and in this situation it’s not that he wants your daughter to like him more, his pride just gets a little hurt. he tries to be the best dad he can so to see his daughter favor you more jabs at his pride a little, but he also understands because he knows kids tend to follow one of their parents more than the other sometimes. gets pouty whenever your daughter refuses to let go of you. “hey, c’mon! im your dad, come with me.” surprisingly manages to convince her at one point and is tightly carrying her with her head on his shoulder and his hand rubbing circles on her back. good luck getting her back.
JUNGWOO. is super whiny about it. he loves both of you so much, but he wants love too! you’re both hogging each other, it’s not fair. stands in front of his daughter with an exaggerated pout on his face and his arms extended. “come to daddy, please.” his pout manages to get even bigger and he pretends to be all sad when she shakes her little head. “but i love you so much.” does aegyo in hopes to convince her, but it doesn’t work. you have to be the one to walk over to where he’s sitting and cuddle both of them so neither will be upset.
MARK. thinks it’s cute that your son clings on to you all the time. he finds it so adorable and it gets him so giddy to see the way he clings on to whatever he can with his tiny fists. he can’t really blame him either, he knows your presence is comforting. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get a little upset whenever your son won’t let him near you. “why are you being like this? she’s not only your mom!! you have to share her with me!” cuddles up to whatever part of you he can, but just settles for having you lean on to him with your son on your lap.
HAECHAN. does not believe it. “i’m your dad! you should like me as well!!” your son is sitting on your lap and he goes over and grabs him from you; hugging him and lifting him in the air briefly before pressing kisses all over his chubby face. has look of shock on his face once his son starts crying. “he really doesn’t like me? he likes you more, really? that’s not fair! you’re both taking each other away from me!” please cuddle him too. ironic considering he also prefers his mom, but okay.
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ikissjae · 20 days ago
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SUMMARY: the fall semester of your sophomore year of college was a lot harder than you thought it would be.
PAIRING: jaehyun x fem reader
GENRE/CATEGORY: smut, non-idol!au, college!au, fwb!au
WORD COUNT: 5.1 k
CONTENT WARNINGS: angsty! infidelity! you’re the other woman. the relationship isn’t the best, kinda toxic, so tread lightly there. sad! it’s very sad for you. unprotected sex. choking, small bit. if i missed something, let me know!
LILO NOTES: so! this my first piece on here, hi! i’m really excited to post this because this piece is very special to me! i posted it on an old blog a long time ago with a different member, but i’ve rewritten it with jaehyun. so, if it sounds familiar that’s why! anyways, hope you enjoy this sad filth!
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Jaehyun: are you up?
Jaehyun: i miss you and want to come over :(
You blinked at your phone screen, eyes reading the two messages at least twenty times before scrolling back through your twitter timeline absorbing none of it. Ignoring Jaehyun was never easy, you didn’t like doing it, but you had to do it. It was for the best.
Jaehyun: you just liked my tweet bro
You huffed heavily as you tapped on the message, rolling from your side to your back.
it’s 2 am
you can just call your girlfriend we’ve been over this
You sent him hoping that would be the end of this conversation. Typically, the conversations with Jaehyun would stop once you brought up his girlfriend. His girlfriend. His tall, pretty, smart, girlfriend of two years nearly three this upcoming Friday if you remembered correctly.
Jaehyun: i miss you tho
Jaehyun: let me just come over for a second it’ll be fun
You were close to caving. You always caved when it came to Jaehyun, you were pretty sure you would always cave when it came to the boy with jet black hair and full pink lips.
whatever
i’ll leave the door unlocked you know where to go
You shoved your phone under your pillow, pressing your face into the cushion as you let out an exasperated noise. This was a tiring routine. Jaehyun was tiring. He managed to drain nearly every ounce of love and compassion out of you in the short year you knew him. All of it went to Jaehyun, never to yourself or anyone else, he was selfish like that. He was a stupid selfish boy like all of them were.
You shouldn’t speak for other boys. All you know is Jaehyun. He’s the only boy you’ve ever been with. He’s the only boy you’ve ever wanted to be with.
Ten minutes later you hear the door open then shut. It only took a few moments for him to find your room and leave the door open behind him. You lifted your head from your pillow to watch him crawl in beside you.
“You always leave the door open.” You whispered as his arm draped around your torso, his knuckles grazing the front of your thigh.
“I got excited to see you.”
If your eyes weren’t closed, you’d roll them.
In the beginning, when you first met Jaehyun and you were entranced by his quips and his beauty, that line would’ve made you swoon. You were pretty sure it did, the line was familiar and it wasn’t out of character for him to reuse lines he knows make you weak.
“Your skin is so soft.” He breathed into your shoulder, his long fingers working to push your hair off your shoulder humming softly. Jaehyun pressed his face into the newly exposed skin of your neck, his lips resting there with no thought. He was comfortable and that bothered you. He was so comfortable with making you the other woman, it was unbearable, he was unbearable, but here you were, wrapped tightly in his arms with his lips against your skin.
You remained non-responsive, but your hand rested on top of his letting your fingers fall between his and dig into his palm.
“You gonna let me make you feel good?”
Your eyes slowly opened, eyeing your conjoined hands with a deep breath. Every proposition from Jaehyun came with a catch, you knew he’d end up nestled between your thighs and his hand around your neck.
You rolled over to face him, he let go of your hand to pull your thigh over his hips, his large hand resting on your back to pull your chest against his. You let it happen––it always happened––your small hand resting on his shoulder. You found yourself nose to nose with him, staring into his big eyes feeling yourself drown in them like you always did. His eyes––God, his eyes that seemed to make the world stop.
You were pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to live without those eyes in your life.
“You really know how to talk dirty, hm?” You teased holding tightly onto the grey fabric of his shirt, leaning in to kiss his lips delicately. Jaehyun hummed quietly against your lips, his hand resting on the back of your neck to deepen the kiss as his other hand held tighter onto your thigh, his fingers digging into the skin hopefully leaving bruises in the morning.
“You want me to talk dirty to you, baby?”
“Oh God, no, Jaehyun.” You pulled away with a stiff laugh, ducking your head down rest on shoulder still laughing. His laugh rang through your cold dark room, you smiled into his chest before looking up at him taking in his features like you always did causing him to look down at you like you were his whole sky.
You weren’t even a measly star in his sky.
“You don’t like my dirty talk?” You rolled your eyes at the smirk that adorned his lips, pushing his hair back to stare at him again.
“I just want to…” You thought of what you wanted, your hands holding tightly onto his shirt when what you wanted came to mind, “I just want to be with you.”
Silence.
“Don’t get mushy on me now, baby.”
Your eyes fell downward at that. That was his nice way of saying drop it, let it go, it’s never going to happen. Jaehyun could be mean, he could be cold, and he could be distant. You rather him pretend and make it easy for you two instead of being ruthless and easily breaking you to pieces.
You’ll never forget the first time he broke your heart.
He’s done it plenty of times but the first time hurt the most.
It was in a bathroom. You wanted him to break up with his girlfriend, you wanted to be with him, two things you still wanted even a year later. He called you selfish, a stupid little girl, and left you there degraded and alone.
He broke your heart. He broke your heart for telling him you wanted to be the only one.
He called you two weeks later and fucked you senseless in his apartment.
He told you when you were finished that you were his girl, but you knew that wasn’t the truth.
Jaehyun was never honest with you when you two shared a bed. You were pretty sure he wasn’t even honest with you outside of bed. Anyone in their right mind would’ve gotten themselves out of this relationship––they would’ve gotten out fast, but you still stuck around. Letting him consume you slowly.
“Alright,” You mumbled looking up into his eyes, sighing heavily, “Alright.” You say it again mainly to convince yourself it was you looking back down, sighing softly. He rubbed your back soothingly for a minute, resting his chin on top of your head. You two remained that way for a few minutes. His warmth surrounding you and encapsulating yourself in his arms, you pressed your cheek further against his chest so you could feel his heartbeat.
You liked being reminded he had a heart, he just forgets how to work it most of the time when he’s with you. You’ve become a master at humanizing the bad guy because you didn’t want Jaehyun to be the bad guy, you really really wanted him to be the good guy. You’ve learned how to make every shitty thing he’s said to you feel like a compliment, you’ve learned to make his less than favorable actions seem admirable, you’ve changed your ways for him and he can’t even be bothered to see you in daylight.
“What do you want to do, Jaehyun?” You asked softly as you looked up at him, lifting your hand to run blindly through his hair again. He only hummed in response, rolling on top of you effortlessly with a soft grunt.
“Well,” he ran his fingers through your hair, fanning out your locks as he stared down at your curious eyes, “I want to get my dick wet.”
“There it is,” You laughed with a slow nod, “There’s that dirty talk that just makes me so wet.” You laughed a bit louder, letting your hands run down his chest with a tired smile. He laughed with you, tilting his head down till his forehead touched yours, his nose brushing against yours as your hands rested on top of his sweatpants with a soft hum.
In order to be with Jaehyun, you had to turn off almost every emotion in your body because of how wrong it felt if you didn’t. You became a shell. You couldn’t tell if you liked feeling nothing or feeling everything. It was a constant battle you didn’t enjoy but couldn’t seem to get out of. You were stuck in a mass interacted web of manipulation and somber emotions, you weren’t sure if you’d ever get out.
“Try wording that a little better. Come on, I know you can do it.”
He smirked down at you, running a hand through your hair with a soft hum. You looked up at him with large eyes, his lips pressing to your forehead causing you to cast your eyes downward.
You struggled looking him in the eyes. You always have. His eyes were your weakness––they always have been–– his eyes told lies and deceived those who looked into them. They were round and shimmered when he heard a joke, they resembled an innocent doe’s most of the time. You loved his eyes.
You’d never tell anyone, but you saw your future in his eyes.
You saw a quiet little house, you saw two kids and a messy kitchen.
But you saw no love in them. You saw something selfish, dark, and manipulative façading
as love. You struggled to see it sometimes, you let yourself fall into them without thought or worry.
He never was the one who got hurt.
He grabbed your chin, tugging your face up so he could look down into your eyes. A soft sound of shock got caught in the back of your throat, your once sleepy eyes locking with his. You couldn’t stop your hands from naturally falling into their usual place on his shoulders, your lips parting softly as his hand snuck down between your legs.
“I want to fuck you.”
You gulped silently, your chest tightening as his large palm began skimming up higher and higher to slip into your shorts causing your back to arch into his chest with a soft gasp, hand instantly holding on the fabric of his shirt to ground yourself.
“I’m going to make you feel so good.” He pressed his forehead against yours, “you want that, right, baby? You want me to make you feel good?”
You dumbly nodded without hesitation. You always caved when it came to Jaehyun, you were scared you always would too. You weren’t sure if this was a forever thing for him but it felt like a forever thing. You weren’t sure if you wanted it to be a forever thing.
He pressed his lips to yours, sending you far away from where you were. His fingers wasted no time rubbing you through the fabric of your underwear causing your breathing to pick up, holding tight onto his shirt batting your lashes up at him.
“Want more,” You swallowed, “I want more, Jaehyun.” Your voice wavered a little when he pressed his fingers against your soaking center. The boy smirked down at you using the hand that wasn’t shoved down your shorts to grab your face, making you face him so he could watch you fall apart.
He loved watching you crumble because of him. He loved the control you let him have over you.
“Already want my fingers, angel?”
You shake your head the best you could, causing his brow to lift in slight confusion.
“I want your cock inside me.” You told him with a small moan, “You-You said you wanted to fuck me so fuck me.” You begged, never breaking eye contact with the boy, hoping that would help get your point across.
Jaehyun smirked down at your brash words, he looked almost proud of you for being so bold.
“You came all this way to get your dick wet, right?”  His grip on your jaw tightened when your hand rubbed his hard cock through the dark fabric, “It’s so easy to get you hard, baby. It’s almost kind of pathetic.”
“Watch it.” He said through clenched teeth, his large hand moving from your jaw to your throat. Your hips jerked into his hand at the sudden and possessive hold, a small pleased smile on your lips at how easy it was to push him when he was desperate.
“I have to prep you first, baby.” He’s soft again but the hold on your throat stayed unforgiving, squeezing the sides causing your jaw to drop softly.
You loved when he choked you. You loved the eutrophic feeling you were given by the lack of air reaching your brain. You felt like you were floating. You felt on a different planet. You felt at peace.
It’s the only peace Jung Jaehyun’s ever given you without pain chasing behind it.
After a minute of holding your life in his hands, he releases your throat and you gasp softly, taking a big full breath as he ducked his head down to speckle your neck with aimless kisses.
“Don’t wanna be prepped,” You whined, feeling his fingers push your underwear to the side with his long fingers, “just want to be fucked.”
Jaehyun chuckled quietly at your pleading, lifting his head to watch your face when his digits slid up your wet folds to graze over your clit making you whine loudly. “You know it’ll hurt if I don’t.” He reminded you, causing  your brows to knit together in slight frustration.
“I don’t fucking care.” You groaned trying to pull his sweats off with one hand, your hips grinding into his hand pathetically. “I want it to hurt.”
You were pretty sure Jaehyun almost came right there.
“Of course you do.” He whispered, leaning down to collide his lips with yours. The kiss was messy, both of you were drunk on desperation and want for each other. His hands mindlessly pulled your shorts and underwear down, working at the speed of light to pull his sweats and boxers down to his mid-thigh. You lift your head to look at his cock, smirking softly up at him before falling back on your pillow with an excited bite of your bottom lip.
“You’re such a cock slut.” Jaehyun whispered as your hand skimmed down your stomach, rubbing the head of his cock with your palm nodding in agreement. You watched his jaw drop, his pretty brown eyes shutting as you wrapped your fingers around his cock. You gave his cock a few long slow pumps, your thumb dragging across his bottom lip whimpering softly.
“Pretty boy,” You whispered in slight awe as he held tightly onto your wrist to halt your movements on his dick, pressing his lips softly to the pad of your thumb before pushing your hand off of him softly.
“I really think–”
“Stop pretending you care already, Jaehyun. Just do what you came here for.” You interrupted sharply, watching his eyes narrow as he looked at your face.
You hoped you weren’t showing any emotions, you weren’t sure what your face looked like right now.
“Fine. Whatever. Just tell me if it’s too much.” He grumbled as he pushed your knees to your chest, you shook your head as you pushed at his chest to give yourself some room. You rolled on your stomach, pushing yourself up on your forearms. You knew your body better than anyone, you knew it’d be easier to get fucked this way.
You also knew it’d be easier to get fucked without looking at Jaehyun’s face the whole time.
“You sure?” He wrapped his hands around your hips, pulling them up to where your back arched and your ass was in the air. You let out a soft whine, nodding quickly when you felt him press the head of his cock to your entrance.
Your mind briefly entertained the idea of a condom––It’s pointless to start now, you think. Jaehyun’s been fucking you raw for over a year now and based off what you knew about Jung Jaehyun, he didn’t handle change well. His girlfriend never let him fuck her without a condom, he told you one time, that’s what made you so different from her. You wanted to vomit at how he thought that was your most differing feature. You worried about getting pregnant, of course you did, but obviously it didn’t scare you enough to ask him to wrap it up.
He took things slower than usual, taking his time slowly pressing his cock into you. Your velvety walls stretching to take all he would give you, your jaw dropping at slight burn as your pussy tried to accompany his size. You squeezed your eyes shut, a soft whimper leaving your lips as he pushed further inside you causing the burn to intensify but with the burn came the pleasure––God, it was was so fucking worth it. You let out a pained cry when he forcefully shoved the rest of his cock into your tight heat.
“You good?” He questioned with a soft groan, pressing his hips further against your ass as one hand pressed to the bottom of your spine.
“Yeah…Yeah, just give me a minute.” You took a deep breath through your nose, your eyes still shut tightly as you waited for your body to adjust to the massive intrusion inside of you.
Jung Jaehyun could be the perfect man if he wanted to be. Pretty smile, perfect laugh, massive cock, he really had a lot going for him, too bad his habit of cheating on his girlfriend was a glaring issue.
After what felt like hours, your body slowly adjusted to his dick, your walls clenching around him  with a quiet moan. “Fuck me.” You whispered with a small groan, repositioning yourself so your cheek was pressed to your pillow and you reached back to rest a hand on his thigh.
“Such a good girl,” He fucked you shallowly first, getting you used to the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. “Taking my dick like the easy slut you are,” His hips began to pick up their regular tempo, sharp and tactful, his words not even hitting you like they should. They just went over your head, your only thought was about getting fucked.
With each thrust, your body moved forward and soft pathetic little sounds left your lips. Your thin nails dug into the skin of his thigh, knowing if you dug deep enough you could draw blood. You should, you thought as his hips snapped into yours a little harder, you should make him bleed and see what happens. You let out a sharp moan when he finally decided on a quicker pace, your nails digging into his tanned skin and dragging down, slicing the skin open partially.
“Fuck!” He shouted as he thoughtlessly slapped your hand off of him, his movements stilling to look at the measly damages. You quickly retreated with a loud squeak, your hand stinging from the slap causing you to bite the inside of your cheek. You marked him, even if it was in a less than conventional way, he still had a mark from you on his thigh now.
You weren’t allowed to mark him, that had been established the first time you two just kissed. He could mark you up with bruises and scratches all he wanted but no mark could be left on him. You hated this rule. It was stupid and you hated it.
So, you finally broke it.
“Keep going, i-idiot.” You groaned as you rolled your hips back onto his cock, desperate for friction. Jaehyun watched your hips roll down with knitted brows, shaking his head a little at you before sitting back and pulling you down with him. You huffed at the new position––You hated being on top. He knew this. You shook your head with a quiet whine, looked back at the boy, who laid back with ease with a smirk on his lips.
“Keep going,” He taunted with a raise of his eyebrows, “i-idiot.” You let out an annoyed groan at his childish mocking. You hated him. You really hated Jung Jaehyun.
You looked around as if you were lost––Well, you were lost. You could count the times you’ve rode Jaehyun on one hand, each time probably lasted, at max, five minutes before your complaining annoyed him enough to flip you two over.
Your hips rolled experimentally into his causing a soft gasp to leave your lips. That felt good. Really good, actually. His hands rested on your ass with a soft chuckle at how slow and cautious your movements were, your gut tightened uncomfortably at the thought of him laughing at you.
“I don’t know how, Jaehyun.” You whined with a desperate roll of your hips, trying to figure it out  on your own with no avail. The boy sat up with that same cocky ass smirk on his lips, his hands moving to your hips, grip bruising as usual, his chest pressing against your back.
“Aw…Is my baby too dumb to figure out how to ride a cock on her own?” When he put it like that it made it sound so easy. You squirmed in his holding looking down at when your two bodies connected, a soft whimper leaving your lips at the pornographic sight. “I always have to do everything, huh? You just want to lay there and get fucked senseless, huh?” You could feel his breath on the back of your neck causing your skin to prick and pebble.
You nodded easily at his words, they were true after all, whimpering quietly as he pressed a kiss against your shoulder. He repositioned you for the third time that night, this time pulling out and putting you on your back, pushing your legs up to your chest. You watched him finally pull off his black sweatpants, laying down on top of you to just completely blanket over you.
He was so big and warm, he was so close to being the perfect boy.
“You know,” He started as he began to push into you again, a new stretch from the different position, “my thigh really hurts now.” If his dick wasn’t stretching your pussy out to new extremes, you would’ve told him to shut up. You simply just whined at the sensation, grabbing tightly onto his bicep as you shut your eyes tightly.
“Feels good, baby?” He cooed, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip before wrapping his hand around your throat again. You nodded with a quiet sound, holding tightly onto him as he began to fuck into you roughly. In this position, it felt like he was splitting you open again, and again, and again with every shift thrust of his hips. It was driving you insane.
“I love fucking you like this.” He whispered as your eyes opened to look at his face, your hand wrapping around his wrist to the hand that held your throat. Your eyes fell to his lips, watching them move as he spoke. He was so mesmerizing without even trying, you hated it. “I love just watching you take my cock.  You always take it so well, baby.” You moaned out at that, your brows knitted together and stomach overwhelmingly filled with butterflies.
His hips began to snap ruthlessly into yours, knocking the wind out of you so easily. You let him fuck you without care, taking every tactless thrust without thought. Shrill and short moans fell from your lips, everything seemed to pick up and move at an incredibly fast pace meaning it was going to be over soon.
“P-Please kiss me.” You nearly sobbed as you slipped a hand between your bodies, two of your fingers rubbing quick and thoughtless circles on your clit. You arched up into him at the stimulation your body desperately needed, eyes shutting tightly at how quick your orgasm seemed to be approaching.
Jaehyun leaned down quickly but didn’t kiss your lips. His forehead just pressed to yours, he was so close but so far away. You tilted your head up to graze your lips over his, your fingers working  quicker on the soft wet bud causing your thighs to tremble and body become ridged. When you began to fall off the edge, he finally collided his lips to yours with a loud groan.
You swore you saw God when you came around him.
The kiss turned from searing lips desperate against each other to just panting in each other’s mouths. You let him use your body to get himself off, your eyes heavy and lips parted as he fucked into you without care, holding onto your waist like his life depended on it. Bruises would be left in the morning but that was a given whenever Jaehyun was in your bed.
“Gonna cum,” he grunted against your mouth as you simply whimpered in response. “Gonna fill you up with so much cum––Fuck, ‘been wanting to do this all week. That's all I’ve been thinking about.” You stared at his lips as he gritted out words, watching his eyes shut tightly and his jaw drop slightly.
He was thinking of you all week. Your heart nearly burst at the thought.
You grabbed his arm tightly when he finally came, emptying his load inside you with a sickly beautiful moan. You squeezed your eyes tightly at the sudden warmth filling you. It wasn’t your favorite feeling but Jaehyun seemed to enjoy treating you like his personal cum dumpster.
You had gotten used to it at this point.
“There’s so much of it. What the fuck.” You groaned as he continued to spurt cum inside your pussy, your brows knitting together as he tipped his head down to press against yours.
“I told you I waited all week, baby.” He whispered as he let go of your hips, dropping down to press his chest against yours. You slid your hands up to wrap around him, letting yourself hold him like he was yours. Jaehyun was yours after sex. He was soft and cuddly, always whispering the softest things in your ear, and blushing when you told him how beautiful he was.
You wished Jaehyun was yours all the time.
“Cum’s going to get on my sheets.” You pouted as you began to stroke his hair––He loved that. He loved that a lot. Jaehyun let out a soft hum against your skin.
“I’ll change them for you.” He lied as he pressed a kiss to your lips gently, pulling back with a quiet hum. You rolled your eyes.
“You’re a liar.” Your lips turned upwards in a smirk when he smiled at you, “A big beautiful liar.” You teased just to see his cheeks get rosy which they did. God, you loved that so much.
Jaehyun turned his head away with a quiet laugh. You watched him with a soft smile, fingers tracing his cheekbones lovingly.
The love you had for him bloomed full and beautiful flowers in your chest. It suffocates you. Sometimes the thrones from the ivy green stems would prick at your lungs. You were ready to cough up bloody petals any moment. The flowers, though beautiful, were killing you.
And you let them.
Jaehyun pressed a kiss to the top of your head before pulling out of you slowly, you whimpered loudly looking up at him with a bite of your bottom lip. “It’s going to make a mess, Yoonoh.” You whimpered, watching his breath strutter at the way his name sounded from your lips.
You were the only person who could call him Yoonoh without making him feel exposed.
He shushes you soothingly, running a hand through your hair as he pulls out of you with a sharp breath. You cringed slightly at the feeling of being empty and oozing out his cum, your face pinched slightly at the undesirable feeling.
“I feel like a twinkie.” You mumbled causing him to look up at you, his mouth opening to say something but a loud laugh escapes his lips instead.
“You say the dumbest things after sex,” You smiled softly as your eyes stayed shut, feeling him kiss your cheek. You loved being this close to him, his chest pressed against yours, nose pressed against your cheek. You loved moments like these.
They were temporary but they felt so real.
“You–You gotta stay the night now.” You mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his torso, he showed no signs of protest honestly. “It’s too late for you to be driving around.” He hummed in agreement, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.
“I have a 9 AM,” he whispers, lifting his head to look down at you, straightening himself up so he could redress himself. “I’ll be gone before you wake up probably.”
He knows your schedule by now. He knows you have evening classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he knows your Monday and Wednesday classes are in the morning. He only knows these things because you two made your schedules together, making it so you two only collided with each other briefly on campus.
That was more his idea than yours. Obviously.
“I’ll miss you.” You whispered as he plucked a few tissues from the container on your bedside table, wiping the now cool cum from between your legs.
“Oh yeah?” He smirked looking at you with raised brows, “I’ll miss you too, baby.”
You preened at that. It was stupid that little things like that made you so happy but you loved it.
You felt him redress you with caution, his hands finally being gentle with you and your body. It’s always like this, he’s always his kindest when you’re barely conscious.
“I’m the little spoon.” You tell him as you teeter on the edge of sleep. He simply hums in response, laying next to you and taking on the position of the big spoon like he always did. It wasn’t a regular occurrence that he stayed the night. Whenever you’d cave and let Jaehyun come over, he’d stay. Sometimes you two would talk for hours when he stayed or sometimes you two would immediately fall asleep.
It was one of those nights where you held tightly onto his hand that rested on your stomach, absorbing his warmth from behind you and just let your eyes shut slowly. “One more kiss,” You mumbled half awake, craning your head back towards him causing him to smile a little bit.
Silently, he pressed a kiss to your lips. It’s soft and gentle. You loved it.
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yutaholic · 3 months ago
Text
winter bird (M)
Tumblr media
pairing: Jaehyun (NCT) + you (reader)
genre: exes sharing a room; angst melts to fluff in the end; smut
word count: 17.3k (i tried to keep it a decent length)
summary: The time has come for your family’s annual vacation. You’ve convinced Jaehyun to accompany you, though you broke up months ago, and pretend to be a happy couple to appease your overbearing mother. But things take a turn when you and Jaehyun are the first and only ones to arrive at the retreat.
warnings: some language; brief mentions of near death experience; explicit sexual content
a/n: listening to winter bird by aurora; this is a one-shot, there will be no sequels; check the masterlist in my description for other one-shots in this collection; happy reading!
Your breath billowed like smoke in the night. There was a sharp nip in the air, bitter with cold, and you shivered, pulling your coat tightly round you. It was two in the morning and most people were asleep, as you wished to be, but you had a train to catch.
A voice came over the speaker, announcing an impending arrival at the station, and as if on cue, you heard a loud horn a moment later. Glancing down the tracks to look for the train, you caught sight instead of a familiar figure striding down the platform toward you, dragging a suitcase behind him.
Heat warmed your cheeks, freezing instantly in the winter cold. You couldn’t help but just stare at him. Regardless of your history, seeing Jaehyun always sent a flutter up your spine. The butterflies woke in your stomach, somersaulting around your insides excitedly. You told your heart to calm down, forcing an innocent smile when Jaehyun locked eyes with you.
“Hey,” he greeted softly.
“Hi,” you replied, understandably awkward. “It’s been a while.”
Jaehyun bobbed his head, letting go of his suitcase to tighten the scarf around his neck. “Yeah, it has,” he finally said, breath visible like yours.
You rubbed your arm. The tension was enough to crush you into the floor. Clearing your throat, you stammered, “You look good. I mean, uh, well… obviously you always looked good, but I just meant good as in healthy. You look healthy.”
Dumbass, you mentally chastised yourself. Could you sound any more like an idiot? But it was true. Good was an understatement. His hair was a little longer and it suited the hell out of him. He seemed a bit thicker with muscle than before, but that could have just been the many layers of his winter clothes deceiving your eyes.
Jaehyun smiled, clearly amused by your rambling, but he passed the opportunity to tease you for it. And you were grateful. “So do you,” he said sweetly. “Good and healthy.”
You wanted to kick yourself for being nervous. Then, you remembered why you were seeing Jaehyun again for the first time in months and you softened with humility. “Jay, I really can’t thank you enough for doing this.”
Jaehyun waved away your concern and said, “Nah, don’t sweat it. I owe you one for letting me have full custody of the dog.”
A smile tugged at your lips at the thought of Peaches, Jaehyun’s fluffy Golden Retriever. You had gifted him the puppy not long after your first anniversary together and the two bonded overnight like they were meant for one another. She grew much faster than you thought possible, but despite her size, she was the sweetest dog that ever walked the earth. Though a bit clumsy and unbelievably spoiled.
Jaehyun pulled out his phone, checking the time, and you caught a glimpse of his lockscreen. It was a familiar picture - you had taken it last October. Peaches was wearing the most adorable plaid bandana, her tongue hanging wildly as she sat squarely in Jaehyun’s lap.
You wanted to laugh, though it was hard considering how rapidly your teeth chattered. Still such a Daddy’s girl, you mused. “How is she by the way?”
Jaehyun shook his head, smiling fondly at the thought of his darned dog, and replied, “Spoiled as ever. Thinks she’s entitled to get a bite of anything I eat or at least be allowed to sniff it. I trust her with my life, but not my sandwiches.”
You giggled. “She hasn’t changed a bit.”
“You really should come visit her,” Jaehyun interjected, making your heart sore. “Take her to the dog park or to the beach for a day. She would love it.”
You simpered, sad. The kindness of his suggestion was enough to make you teary. Casting your gaze down, you murmured, “I would hate to see her eyes when it was time for me to leave.”
Jaehyun had no reply to that. And so he didn’t press the issue.
You had been the one to insist on a clean break. You didn’t want to keep coming in and out of Jaehyun’s life when you clearly had no place in it anymore. Jaehyun wanted to leave the door open. He wanted to, at the very least, still be friends. The break up had been amicable by most standards.
Relationships were hard work, you learned. And fire can fizzle out when doused in the cold waters of everyday life and all its many stresses.
The longer you looked at him, the tension only grew stronger. You really wondered how in the hell you were going to get through this next week. Convincing your mother that you were still in a healthy, happy relationship was going to take a real test of your patience.
Another horn resounded through the night, much closer this time. You and Jaehyun both turned to see the train pulling into the station. It finally stopped with a groan and after a moment, passengers began to step off.
In a queue, you and Jaehyun filed into the train, desperate for warmth. You followed Jaehyun as he headed near the back, the seats mostly empty.
He asked over his shoulder, “This spot okay?”
“If it’s warm, it’s perfect,” you retorted, shivering to the core.
Jaehyun lifted his suitcase to put into the overhead bin. You began to mirror him, but he quickly grabbed the luggage from you, hoisting it with ease. You whispered a thanks and plopped into the seat by the window.
You didn’t speak again until the train began to move at long last. Jaehyun unzipped his coat and put it over your legs, making your eyes widen in surprise. He always was such a gentleman.
Jaehyun spoke before you could thank him, “The ticket said we should get there around eight or nine.”
You nodded and said, “Sounds about right.” You had made the trek many times.
Jaehyun promptly leaned back in his seat, laced his fingers over his stomach, and closed his eyes. For a moment, you simply stared. It really was unfair that he looked gorgeous at this ungodly hour and that he could fall asleep anywhere, at any time.
You rolled your eyes in envy and propped your head on your hand, staring out the window. There wasn’t much to see. The moon was hidden behind dark wisps of clouds. A few lights here and there illuminated the city deeply lost in sleep. Eventually, your eyes began to bat heavily and at some point between the rhythmic passing of poles and signs, you drifted off.
The train jostled and you sucked in a loud breath, eyes opening with reluctance. The first thing you noticed was the unbearably bright lights filtering in. It was morning. You glanced out the window, seeing nothing but white beyond the glass. Snow had fallen, heavy.
Rubbing your eyes, you groaned, “Are we there yet?”
That was when you felt a stirring beneath your head. You sat up rather abruptly, realizing you had been curled against Jaehyun, using him like a pillow. Jaehyun’s lips were slightly parted; he was knocked out and borderline snoring, but his eyes peeked open at your movements.
You were quick to apologize, “I fell asleep on you. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun ran a hand down his face and rasped, “I didn’t even notice.”
That wasn’t true. At some point during the night, Jaehyun woke to find you asleep on his shoulder. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile and he leaned his head against yours before slipping back into his dreams.
You swallowed at how deep his voice had gotten, thick with sleep. A number of memories came flooding back to you, but you were quick to shake your head and banish them away. “Thank you for lending me your coat,” you said, handing the jacket back to him.
He simply nodded, closing his eyes again tiredly and letting his head fall back against the seat with a thud.
You smiled, resisting the urge to run your fingers into his hair and brush the loose strands from his forehead. Turning back to the window to distract yourself, you smiled contentedly at the wintry landscape beyond, the sun gleaming as it rose higher into the sky.
Trains had always been a soft spot for you. Something rustic and whimsical about them, you pondered. Jaehyun took you on trains more than once on some of your most memorable dates with him.
Though you would be hard pressed to think of a date that wasn’t memorable. Jaehyun romanced you like it was his mission in life and when you fell for him, you fell hard. But to be honest, it didn’t take long to fall in love with Jeong Jaehyun. He was everything you could dream of in a partner. He was gentle and kind, supportive with his words and his actions, a perfect gentleman that your parents adored, a hopeless romantic at heart, and an animal in the bedroom.
When you broke up, you had never felt so empty. Like the sun had left and would never return again. Your bed was the coldest it had ever been and you had no one to blame but yourself. It was you that let the relationship dissolve the way it did. For the weeks that followed, you coped with wine and cake until you finally accepted that it was - completely and irreparably - over.
Jaehyun broke you from your reverie when he suddenly asked, “Are we getting close?”
“I think so,” you replied, eyes still on the window. You couldn’t look at him when your mind was packed from beginning to end with memories of your romance.
Jaehyun studied your reflection in the glass. You couldn’t see him staring at you and fortunately you couldn’t see him frown. Jaehyun wondered if it was painful for you to be beside him. It sure as hell was for him. He wanted to hold you. God knew he had wanted to kiss you the moment he saw you.
We had it all, he thought. We made so many promises. Jaehyun sighed. No one had ever stolen his heart before. But you had in no time at all. And when you broke up, he thought you would give it back.
Needless to say, that never happened. Falling in love with you was easy. Falling out was hard.
Jaehyun wondered when the hell he would get over you. He expected time would heal that wound, but now, sitting beside you, he felt no different than the day your relationship ended. Nothing was healed. Nothing recovered. His heart was still somewhere in the clutch of your palm.
You finally willed yourself to face him, looking down at your hands in shame, and whispered, “I’m so sorry I dragged you out here for this.”
Jaehyun forced a smile. “I could have said no. I don’t mind doing it.”
Though you had already explained it to him over the phone, you still continued, “I just can’t deal with my mother right now on top of this workload. All that ‘why can’t you keep a man’ or ‘when are you getting married’ stuff.”
Jaehyun genuinely chuckled. Your mother was a piece of work sometimes, though she meant well. Her delivery definitely sucked. Even Jaehyun was somewhat terrified of her.
You shook your head in self-reproach and added, “I’m sure you have your own stuff going on, too. I sound so selfish. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun interjected, “You don’t sound selfish. I love the family vacation.” He had survived it twice before.
You rolled your eyes and teased, “Liar.”
Jaehyun snickered. I wanted to see you again, he almost said. There was unfinished business where you were concerned, but most of all, Jaehyun just wanted to clear the air. Maybe he could find some kind of closure with your relationship. Or maybe you could finally free him of the spell he was under.
It was almost ten when the train pulled into the station, running late. You stepped onto the platform with Jaehyun a pace behind, both of you dragging suitcases in your wake. As you and he made small talk, big smiles despite teeth chattering and visible breath like fog in the cold, the hired car arrived to take you the rest of the way.
In the backseat beside Jaehyun, your eyes were on the window. It was pure wilderness now. Mountains covered in snow, peaks lost in the clouds. Lakes and rivers lay frozen solid, glistening in the rays of sunlight breaking through.
Your heart was full. This was where you belonged, despite how hard you tried to get away from where you came from. The big city called with all of its opportunities and you answered. But the mountains never failed to summon you home.
“Seems colder than last year,” Jaehyun commented offhandedly.
You bobbed your head. “Yeah, the forecast said it would be pretty icy. I can’t wait to get by the fire.”
“Me, too.”
Last year the weather had been cold, but not bitter. Jaehyun thought back fondly on coats and scarves, and holding you in his arms on the pier. Nothing but stolen kisses and cuddles before the fireplace. And the occasional quickie in the bathroom where your family couldn’t hear.
Jaehyun shifted in his seat, quickly changing his train of thought. Thinking of you bent over the sink, taking his cock, and the sight of your bouncing breasts in the mirror never failed to get him hard. And given the current circumstances, that would not be a good idea.
And Jaehyun inevitably thought of your warm, sweaty bodies in bed, tangled together in sleep. He had never been as happy and content as he was safe and sound in your arms. It ashamed him - how badly he wanted that feeling back. How much he needed you to soothe his broken heart.
Fortunately, next to him, you were none the wiser.
The pavement ended and the road turned to gravel, dirt paths lined with trees covered in snow. The forest seemed endless, swallowing you whole. They didn’t call it a getaway retreat for nothing. Phone service would be sketchy at best and nonexistent at worst.
The car finally reached a break in the trees, a clearing just beyond. The lake was a giant frozen oval, enclosed by mountains on the opposite side. A house lay near the shore with a boathouse and a long pier over the ice.
You jumped out the moment the car came to a stop, gripping the door as you greeted the familiar view with a smile. This little hidden gem in the wilderness was your favorite place in the world.
“It hasn’t aged a day,” Jaehyun quipped, lifting your suitcase from the trunk, followed by his own.
You thanked him and grabbed your bag, hardly containing your excitement. “It’s so beautiful. I wanna cry.”
Jaehyun’s cheeks looked rosy. “Your tears will freeze.”
You snorted. After paying the driver and watching the car back its way out of the drive, you glanced around and said, “Funny. Mark’s car isn’t here. Neither is my Dad’s.”
Jaehyun finally noticed the empty covered space alongside the house and replied, “I guess we beat them here.”
You furrowed your brow, suspicious. “No, Mark said they would be here already, stocking the fridge and sprucing everything up.”
“Weird,” Jaehyun commented impatiently. “Maybe we can have this conversation in a warm house?”
“My bad,” you chuckled, rifling for your keys and unlocking the front door.
Once inside, Jaehyun breathed a little easier. You both stepped out of your boots and placed them on the rug by the door, but that was when you noticed no other pairs of shoes were there.
“Mark,” you yelled loudly, striding toward the nearby staircase. It would be totally in character for your mischievous brother to hide somewhere just for the chance of jumping out and scaring the shit out of you when you least expected it.
Jaehyun rubbed his hands together for warmth. He heard you calling for your parents. Stepping into the kitchen, Jaehyun opened the refrigerator and cabinets, finding both filled to the brim with food and drinks. “Fridge is stocked,” he shouted, growing a bit suspicious.
You came charging around the corner, clearly miffed. “Nobody else is here,” you told him worriedly, marching toward the large fireplace in the great room. Windows spanned the entire far wall, giving the clearest of views of the lake and mountains beyond. You found fresh cut wood in the hearth, and even more in a neatly stacked pile nearby, and you frowned in consternation.
Out of patience, you took out your phone and called your brother, hovering near the dining room where the phone signal was strongest. While also out of earshot of Jaehyun.
Mark answered on the third ring, “What up?”
“Mark, we are the only ones here,” you exclaimed under your breath.
Mark replied coolly, “I may have embellished the arrival date.”
You gaped, your heart sinking into the pit of your stomach. After a pause, you screeched, “Are you freaking kidding me?”
Mark snickered, clearly amused by his little trick. “Look. Everyone may buy your bullshit, but I’m your brother and I know better. It will do you some good to be alone with Jaehyun for a few days.”
You grit your teeth, hissing, “You are dead meat when I see you.”
Mark was totally unaffected and said, “Which will be this weekend. Chill the fuck out.”
“Unbelievable,” you snipped, throwing up your hands before putting the phone back to your ear.
“I had the whole place cleaned and stocked up. Try to keep it clean before we get there. Mom will pitch a fit.”
You were quick to snap, “You need to be more worried about the fit I’m pitching right now!”
Mark laughed and the sound was downright infuriating.
With a frown, you switched the phone to your other ear and whined, “Shit is gonna be awkward.”
Mark was the only one in your family that knew of the break-up. And he was Team Jaehyun all the way; a fact he never tried to hide. Least of all to you.
“Well, cozy up until it’s not awkward. If you know what I mean,” Mark teased, clicking his tongue.
You grimaced. “Ugh, you are the worst!”
“We both know I’m the best. Have fun! See you this weekend,” Mark said with glee, disconnecting the call before you could complain further.
You glared at your phone, even more livid that he had the balls to hang up on you. Now you were counting down the days until you could put him in a violent headlock.
Slapping on a brave face, you returned to the living room, stopping when you saw Jaehyun peering out the windows. He offered a placating smile, which you mirrored, and told him, “No one will be here until this weekend.”
Jaehyun turned to you, raising a brow. “Really?”
You clenched your jaw at the mental image of your brother’s smug face and grumbled, “Mark’s idea of a prank.”
Jaehyun laughed. “That little shit.”
You nodded and pursed your lips. “My thoughts exactly.”
“So, how do we wanna do this?” Jaehyun asked, slipping his hands into his pockets.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“The sleeping arrangements.”
You flushed, scratching your head, and said, “Oh, right. Well, I figured we would be in the same room or my parents would be suspicious.”
“Mm-hm.”
You met his eyes and faltered. The tension had snuck up on you when the realization set in that you were stuck in a lakeshore cabin alone with your ex. Biting your lip, you tugged on your sleeves until they covered your hands like sweater paws and said, “I guess for now you can take Mark’s room. I would never make you sleep on the couch or anything like that.”
“Sure thing,” Jaehyun said quietly, almost in disappointment, and headed toward the staircase with his luggage in tow.
You watched him go, feeling guilty. It would seem forward to tell him to share a room with you when no one was around. At least, that was what you told yourself.
Jaehyun entered Mark’s room and lifted his suitcase onto the small bench at the foot of the bed. With a shake of his head, he pulled the phone from his pocket and texted, What are you playing at?
Mark replied almost immediately, You don’t have to thank me, but Christmas is coming up.
Jaehyun snorted and typed a warning, The only reason I’m not going to kick your ass is because I know you do shit like this from a good place.
Noted.
It went without saying you wanted to avoid Jaehyun for a few hours. Damn Mark and his constant need to meddle in people’s love lives. If he would just get his own, he wouldn’t have time for it, you snipped. Nevertheless, you had to accept the situation and figure out how to best deal with it.
The moment you stepped into your room, your eyes landed on the bed and your heart picked up speed. You could remember the sticky damp sheets against your back and Jaehyun’s weight on your body. You could hear him whispering, “Stay quiet, baby,” and covering your mouth with his hand as he rocked into you.
You sat on the edge of the bed and held your head in your hands. Awkward was the understatement of the year. You were alone in a house with your ex-boyfriend. A house literally covered in every corner with intimate memories of your time together.
Maybe if you and Jaehyun had ended things in angrier terms it would be easier. Obviously there would be spiteful passive aggression rather than unresolved tension. Anger was always a preferable feeling to sadness in your book.
Instead, you parted amicably, despite still having feelings for each other. Regardless of said feelings, you and Jaehyun had come to the grim conclusion that maybe you just weren’t compatible with each other in a relationship.
As the time went by, you steadily migrated from sitting to lounging in the bedroom. You could hear the television in Jaehyun’s room, next to yours. While you kept yourself busy on your phone, your eyes couldn’t stop drifting to the window. The mountains were calling.
Pulling your coat back on, you stepped out of your room and checked down the hall. With no sign of Jaehyun, you went downstairs and slid into your boots, heading out the back door with a bounce to your step.
You took a deep breath of crisp mountain air and closed the door quietly behind you. Navigating through the yard and to the pier, you weren’t satisfied until you stood at the end of the wooden platform. The lake was a mirror of ice, reflecting the clouds and the sun.
“Oh, Canada,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. Despite the chill, you had never felt stronger, more at home. Searching the mountains with your eyes, you took another breath of frigid air. There was something about being here, in the land that raised you, that made you feel whole. Invincible even.
Snow crunched behind you and you fought a smile when Jaehyun came to join you.
“I never get over this view,” he said in awe.
“Me neither.”
For a moment, you and Jaehyun stood in peaceful silence. No awkwardness or tension to speak of. There was a tranquility only to be found in a place like this.
You shifted your weight. Jaehyun was like gravity. You wanted to wrap your arms around his waist and lean your head on his shoulder. Like old times. You wanted to share his warmth, wanted to feel the heat of the fire that burned inside of him and let it melt you.
Knock it off, you told yourself. He’s not yours to hold anymore.
Jaehyun turned to you, his voice cutting through the quiet, “Whenever you’re here, you’re… happy. You know?”
You smiled and lied, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
Jaehyun couldn’t tear his gaze from you even if he wanted to. The sparkle in your eyes was more than the moon and all the stars combined. Fighting back the urge to gather you in his arms, Jaehyun whispered affectionately, “Winter bird.”
You blinked, heart racing. A thousand memories came rushing back to you. Of snow falling beyond the windows and the cracking of a fireplace. Of you and him naked beneath soft blankets, warm only because of the heat you made together.
Jaehyun had given you the nickname of endearment after a bottle of wine on Christmas Eve. It was your first holiday as a couple and Jaehyun had no idea how much love you had for the season of winter. You loved snowflakes and dark nights, and the cold that came with them. You loved the taste of hot chocolate, the weight of heavy sweaters, and the scent of bonfires.
But most of all, you loved the shade of rose across his cheeks in the cold.
Winter bird, you echoed to yourself, wind sweeping your hair into your face. And then you realized you were staring at Jaehyun, not a single reply coming to mind as you drowned in memories that threatened to rend you inside out.
I still love this man, you told yourself, almost in acceptance.
Jaehyun smiled, as if he could read your thoughts, and reached out to brush your hair out of your face. Then, he confessed softly, “My best memories with you are here.”
You opened your mouth to finally speak, but Jaehyun turned on his heels and headed back toward the house.
Jaehyun lowered his head as he walked, shoving his hands into his pockets. Never had he wanted to kiss someone so badly. It would have been rather romantic, kissing you on the bridge over a frozen lake with only the mountains as witnesses. And Jaehyun was nothing if not a hopeless romantic.
But you didn’t belong to him anymore.
Your lips formed a hard line, emotion tensing your face. He hadn’t seen the tears gathering in your eyes. One day, you feared you would look back and realize that Jaehyun was the one that got away.
Maybe that day was today.
Stepping back into the house after you cleared your head, you closed the door quickly before snow could track inside on the wind and slipped out of your damp boots. The scent of coffee reached your nose and you looked eagerly to the kitchen.
Jaehyun announced, “I made a pot, if you don’t mind.”
Shivering a little, you chattered, “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
He chuckled, pouring the coffee into two mugs he had found in the cabinet.
You took your cup and sat by the fireplace, dragging a quilted blanket to drape over your legs. Melancholy had settled over you or maybe just pensive thought. Either way, you were emotionally overwhelmed.
This was a terrible fucking idea, you thought. Alone in the house with Jaehyun, you had no one to hide behind. It was just you and him, unavoidable.
Jaehyun sipped his coffee and crossed the living room, crouching to glance into the hearth. “Ready to fire it up?” he asked.
You nodded. The sun was on its way down and the nights were viciously cold. A spot by the fireplace would be worth its weight in gold.
Jaehyun turned the dials and fire sparked between the logs. In a matter of minutes, the wood was consumed in the flames, crackling and hissing. Jaehyun tossed another chopped log inside before taking the seat across from yours.
You smiled when your eyes met, putting the mug to your lips and taking another gulp.
Jaehyun asked considerately, “How’s the coffee?”
“Amazing. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Okay, I won’t,” you retorted.
Jaehyun snorted, amused.
After a few minutes of too much quiet, you watched him amble toward the nearby bookcase of vinyls, smiling to yourself. The house had belonged to your great-grandparents and was passed down on your father’s side. His father had a penchant for collecting vinyls and considered anything digital to be “utter nonsense.”
You thought fondly of your grandfather. It threatened to bring tears to your eyes. He had only met Jaehyun twice before his passing and both times told you, “He’s a keeper.”
Jaehyun pointed at the record player and began, “Mind if I…”
You nodded. Grandpa would be delighted. “Please do. You know I hate silence.”
Jaehyun chuckled, bobbing his head in agreement. He was having the same dilemma - being alone with you in deafening silence was making him think too damn much. Of what was, what could have been, and what might still be. Jaehyun brushed his fingers over the sleeves, stacked and sorted neatly as always, and searched for what would best fill the quiet void.
With the hot cup between your palms, you watched him pull out a vinyl, his hands ever delicate. You thought of his collection back home and how he lit up whenever discussing music with you.
There were quite a number of artists and albums that would always remind you of Jaehyun. No matter how much time passed apart from him.
A quiet yet melodious tune filled the empty house and you weren’t surprised at his choice. Jaehyun continued leafing through the collection of albums and your eyes lingered on his broad shoulders. The grey shirt hugged his body a little too well.
You remembered hugging him from behind and burying your face in his back the first time Jaehyun browsed intently through the vinyl collection. You were convinced he would never leave and playfully whined, “Pay attention to me.”
Jaehyun had chuckled and rubbed a hand back and forth over your arm.
You blinked back to the present and propped your head in your hand, enjoying the somber music and how it had abated the tension. Jaehyun meandered; it was easier than trying to hold a conversation.
He had expected to share his time with Mark. Jaehyun doubted he would be able to convince your parents that you were still a happy couple, but when you revealed that Mark was aware of the break up, Jaehyun breathed a little easier. Mark was the type of person that could find the silver lining in any situation. And could, more importantly, bullshit his way out of anything with a big smile on his face.
Still, Jaehyun was shocked to find that he wasn’t completely disappointed at being alone with you.
The sun dipped behind the mountains and the sky turned into the darkest shade of blue as to be almost black. You stole occasional glances out the window, marveling the moonlight as it glistened over the frozen surfaces.
“It’s snowing,” you suddenly exclaimed, making Jaehyun jolt in surprise.
He watched you leap from your chair, shuffle into your jacket and shoes, and before he could say a word of warning, you were out the back door. Jaehyun shook his head with a laugh - it would seem some things just never changed.
The crunch of snow beneath your boots was one of your favorite sounds. You held out your arms and snowflakes landed on your hands, melting at the touch of your warm skin.
Jaehyun stepped out to join you, lifting his eyes. The stars were out in full force, gleaming in a blanket of silver across the atmosphere. Teeth chattering, Jaehyun rubbed his hands together and said, “Not something you see every day.”
“Definitely not,” you replied with glee, convinced you could see a shooting star or two.
Jaehyun smiled at the steady snowfall landing in your hair, but a pang of worry alerted him to the dangerous cold. He was convinced icicles were beginning to form in the saliva on his tongue. “Hey, we should go inside,” he cautioned, tilting his head back toward the house.
“I know,” you said, slipping your frozen hands into the pockets of your coat. “I’m reliably reckless.”
“Grandpa would be proud,” Jaehyun teased sweetly, eyes sparkling.
Those words warmed you to the core and you gave Jaehyun a look that could never convey just how much affection you felt toward him for saying it. You could hear your grandfather’s words in your head again. He’s a keeper.
Powdery snow clung to your boots as you crossed the deck and Jaehyun opened the back door open for you, following you inside with haste. The two of you scurried to the fireplace and warmed your hands. Your noses and cheeks were frozen, and you gleamed at the blush of pink across Jaehyun’s face.
“Snow means hot cocoa,” Jaehyun said not long after, heading for the kitchen.
“You read my mind,” you cheered, skipping after him.
Together, you made steaming hot cups of the stuff, popping in some mini marshmallows. Sitting on the cream-colored sofa in a nook of windows by the kitchen, you clinked your mugs together and draped fluffy blankets over your laps.
The snow landed steadily outside and your eyes drifted to the windows, watching the flakes fall to the earth like rain.
For whatever reason, maybe your excitement over the snow or the warmth of the cocoa, awkwardness faded further away. You and Jaehyun talked well into the night. He told you stories about work. He also made you laugh over Peaches’ antics. The dog was a whirlwind of chaotic energy and you were relieved he had her as a steady, loving companion.
The conversation ranged from music to politics to food. Jaehyun was easy to talk to; there was never any doubt about that. You had an abundance of shared interests, because as it turned out, you both liked a lot of the same things. There were still some differences of opinions and preferences that inspired arguments of the exciting kind, but nothing to cause the other to anger.
A bitter taste lingered on your tongue. Damn, how you missed just being able to talk to him. The feeling was mutual. Jaehyun was sharing the same sentiment with every passing minute.
The clock ticked past midnight. Your eyes began to blink tiredly. The trip had finally caught up with you. Jaehyun wasn’t entirely immune either. His energy in the conversation was beginning to dwindle.
“I’m sorry for kicking you into Mark’s room after I dragged you up here,” you blurted. It had been weighing on your guilty conscience.
Jaehyun waved you away. That didn’t bother him though he was curious. “Honestly, I was wondering how we would be staying together while we were here. Would we sleep in the same bed or would I get couch duty?”
You shook your head. “God, I would feel like shit if I made you sleep on the couch.”
Jaehyun started, “But sharing a bed is kinda…”
“Yeah,” you agreed softly. The thought of Jaehyun and bed only served to bring back memories that made you press your thighs together.
Even more than that, Jaehyun was the one person you had been intimate and vulnerable with - physically and emotionally. You had bared your soul to him in one way or another and he accepted you for who you were. And loved you fiercely.
Jaehyun tapped his fingers absentmindedly on the cup in his hand and murmured, “Can I ask you something?”
I have a feeling I’m going to regret this. “Go for it.”
“I hate admitting it as much as the next guy,” Jaehyun trailed, as if reconsidering his question. “But I hate sleeping alone.”
You simpered, melancholy creeping back in again. “Me, too.”
Jaehyun studied you. The sadness in your eyes was apparent and he felt nothing but sympathy. Mainly because he was just as lonely and sad and melancholy as you were. “Have you… gotten used to it yet?” he finally asked.
You shrugged. “I don’t have much choice.”
The next question was out of Jaehyun’s mouth before he could stop himself. “So, you haven’t seen anyone since we split?” It had been gnawing at him.
“Nope,” you replied calmly. “Have you?”
“No.”
That made your heart flutter. “Why?”
Jaehyun sighed, “I don’t want to fall in love again. Maybe ever.” It’s too painful, he almost added.
You lingered your eyes on his flushed cheeks and pretty lips. A sad Jaehyun was your biggest weakness in life. You wanted to hold him in your arms and cradle his head to your chest. It was never your intention to wound him the way you had.
But you didn’t feel good enough for him anymore.
“Me, too,” you replied, offering a smile in solidarity. “I’ve started thinking that maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”
Jaehyun ran a hand down his face, like the words that followed were torturous for him. “I know I’ve told you this a million times, but all I ever wanted was a normal, typical life.”
You felt small and your reply was weak, “I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you.”
“I never meant to put pressure on you. I didn’t realize I had until it was too late.”
Regret; that was clear as day in his tone. You blinked, nervous at where this was heading. You didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to reopen old wounds. You were still stitching yourself up. You wouldn’t survive having your heart ripped open again.
“I… wanted to be that for you, Jaehyun, but I didn’t know how. I guess I didn’t fit the mold.” And I wasn’t good enough, you thought. Your insecurities and his expectations had collided in the ugliest of ways to ultimately cause you to give up your future together.
“Fuck the mold,” Jaehyun cursed. “I should have focused on what we had and not what we didn’t.”
Hope flickered in your chest and it was more painful than anything else. Hope was a terrible, evil thing. It left you hollow and void when it ran out. “I think we should stop,” you quietly asserted.
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Stop what?”
“This line of conversation,” you said pointedly, shoring up the walls around your heart as fast as you could. “We have at least another day or two of being in this house alone together and I don’t want there to be tension.”
Jaehyun glanced at you, hair falling into his eyes, and whispered, “There’s tension regardless.”
That was undeniably true, but you didn’t want to accept it. Even the way he spoke made you desire him. To make him yours again.
You rose without another word, grabbing both the empty mugs and taking them into the kitchen. You rinsed the cups in the sink and set them out to dry, watching Jaehyun glide back to the record player and put a different vinyl on to spin.
Jaehyun recognized you in distress and he let you be. It was a hard subject, coming to terms with what went wrong in the relationship. You and he had left many things unresolved. It was like playing too hard and breaking a vase, then leaving the pieces on the floor without even attempting to put them back together.
You turned and leaned back against the counter, facing away from Jaehyun in the living room. Tears clouded your face and you forced them back. It did you no good to cry now. You’re just overtired, you consoled yourself, like coaxing a fussy baby.
I should have focused on what we had and not what we didn’t. Those words were spiraling around the little flame of hope in your chest, feeding the fire. Jaehyun admitted it so readily. Like he had considered it at length.
Was he willing to fix things? Is that why he agreed to come with you? Did he want a chance to make things right?
You shook your head angrily. Stop it, you chided. There’s no future for you and Jaehyun. You’re not good enough for him. You never were. But even the little voice in your head got annoyed with your self-deprecating tone.
Jaehyun offered a mollifying simper when you finally joined him in the living room. Little did he know you were coming to say goodnight and head up to your room, but he didn’t give you the chance. Jaehyun held out his hand and asked, “May I have a dance?”
The song playing from the record was old, full of static. The woman singing hit each low note with an airy, distant tone indicative of the early decades of the past century. Jaehyun was a lover of the classics. It was endearing. Just like everything else about him.
Damn it. You could never say no to an opportunity to dance with him.
You grinned, grateful to him for trying to clear the tension again, and quickly crouched into a little faux curtsy. Jaehyun chuckled and returned your gesture with a bow, pulling you close the moment you took his hand.
Jaehyun shuffled languidly before the hearth, leading you with him. Your hand was light on his shoulder, the other wrapped around his fingers, and you flushed at his palm pressed firmly to the small of your back.
You breathed him in. Jaehyun always smelled good. Just enough cologne to not be overwhelming. There was still a faint trace of the scent of coffee on him and it suited him more than anything else.
Jaehyun fought a smile when you rested your head on his shoulder. He knew you were exhausted, but he couldn’t stand the idea of going to bed angry or conflicted. He wanted to clear the air for your sake.
“You are an old soul,” you told him softly and with affection.
“So are you.”
You quipped, “I was a reindeer in my past life. Remember?”
Jaehyun laughed. A bottle of rum had led to him coming to that conclusion on a long night spent together in January. You laughed until your ribs hurt and Jaehyun had quickly seized the opportunity to tickle your sides and kiss your neck.
Your smile was wide at the sound of his laugh and you were relieved to hide it in the crook of his neck. He felt so good; his body against yours. He definitely felt thicker than before. Probably from putting in extra hours at the gym with Johnny. You felt small in his big arms, tucked away and safe from any harm. All you knew was warmth.
Jaehyun swayed back and forth, releasing your fingers to overlap both his hands behind your back.
You wanted to cry. The tears were threatening, burning. You held Jaehyun a little tighter like he was your anchor to the earth. He felt like home, even more than the mountains around you. And that was downright heresy.
Jaehyun leaned his head against yours. He could feel your body tensing up. Why did we fall apart, baby? We shouldn’t have given up, he thought sadly. How can two people who love each other as much as we do lose it all?
You shuddered a little, quickly rubbing a fist at your cheek to catch an escaping tear.
Jaehyun pulled back, looking into your face, and asked worriedly, “Why are you crying?”
You shook your head, quickly hiding in the crook of his neck again, and whispered, “It hurts.”
Jaehyun smoothed a hand down your back in comfort. Then, he pressed his lips to your temple, lingering.
The gesture made you crazy. Why did he have to be sweet and gentle with you? It was the last thing you deserved. You peered up at him, eyes full of tears, and you made a noise of surprise when he leaned in and kissed you.
Jaehyun was losing his mind. It felt too right, being there with you. Once upon a time, you were his and he was yours. Now, holding you in his arms where you belonged, Jaehyun realized the love and longing he had for you was hitting him a thousand fold.
You kissed him back. Nothing made sense except for how badly you wanted him. You had loved him deeply - as a friend and a partner and everything in between. Feelings like that didn’t just go away overnight. Or after months apart, apparently. No matter how much distance you had put between yourself and Jaehyun, it seemed like nothing had changed at all.
Jaehyun captured your lips hotly, cupping your head and deepening the kiss. Drowning in you was too easy. He kissed you over and over again, hands tugging at your hips to keep you flush against him.
You were lost in the moment, too tangled in how he made you feel to worry about any consequences. Why was this so comfortable? Why were you kissing him like it was the easiest thing in the world?
I walked away. Was I stupid? Was I just insecure? No, I made that choice. I agonized over it. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to leave him. I was so tired. Even as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him with nothing short of unbridled desire and passion, your head and your heart were at war again.
Jaehyun grunted lowly when you broke away from him, wet lips parting from his with a loud pop. He searched your face with concern and surprise, wondering what he had done wrong, scared that he crossed an invisible line.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you murmured, tears in your eyes, and turned away.
“Goodnight,” he said a moment later, watching you climb the stairs in obvious retreat. Not until the door of your room shut with a bang did Jaehyun run a hand through his hair and curse under his breath, “Fuck.”
You crawled into bed and hid yourself beneath the blankets, forbidding Jaehyun from your mind and all the emotions that came with kissing him. Sleep was the only solace you could find, but Jaehyun appeared even in your dreams.
The next morning, you slept almost until noon. A quick glance at your windows made you grin like a child on Christmas morning. Snow had blanketed everything in white. The light was blinding, reflecting off the ice as if the sun was frozen underneath.
When you finally roused yourself, knotting the fluffy bathrobe tightly around you, you found Jaehyun predictably in the kitchen.
“Good morning,” he greeted warmly. By his clean shaven face and still damp hair, he was fresh out of a shower. He was dressed in a comfortable long sleeve shirt and his favorite argyle pajama pants.
Never had a grown man looked so downright cuddleable.
“Morning,” you replied, still groggy. “Sleep well?”
“Very well. Thanks. And I can tell by your eyes that you did, too.”
You smiled bashfully. It was true. You slept like a baby and the only thing you remembered of your dreams was his handsome face. Damn him. Coming around the kitchen counter to see what he was doing, you asked, “What are you making?”
Jaehyun huffed loudly and said, “I’m starving and running on an apple. Decided to make some sandwiches.”
“Sounds yummy,” you murmured, licking your lips at all the choices of meat and cheese and veggies he’d scattered across the counter. “Can I help?”
“Of course.”
You made lunch together in comfortable silence. Save for a ‘thank you’ or ‘excuse me’ here and there. Part of you expected a rift leftover from the night before, but it seemed both you and Jaehyun had wordlessly agreed to act like the kiss never happened.
For the moment anyway.
Mark, despite your ire toward his obnoxious and meddlesome ass, could always be counted upon to have the cabinets stuffed with chips. You and Jaehyun shared a bag as you ate your sandwiches in the nook by the window.
After eating, you slipped back to your room to brush your teeth and dress in clothes ideal for going out in the snow. You checked your phone and ever predictable, Mark texted you in search of an update. Specifically to ask if you and Jaehyun had jumped each other’s bones yet.
Fuck off, you replied with vitriol, tossing your phone onto the bed and leaving it behind.
Jaehyun sat by the fireplace, playing on his phone as his selection of music filled the room. The song was almost as depressing as you felt. Jaehyun glanced up from the screen to give yet another awkward smile, which you returned, and this time when you put on your coat and boots and stepped outside, he didn’t follow.
You folded your arms tightly across your chest after the first gust of wind swept into you, attempting to knock you over. Your boots sank into the fresh layer of soft snow as you traipsed toward the pier. But the cold was sharp and you decided to stay on the shore where it wasn’t as brutal. There was a small bench and you brushed away snow to make a spot for yourself, sitting down contentedly.
Jaehyun let go a sigh, standing at the window. His mind hadn’t stopped racing since the kiss. You kissed him back. You leaned into him and held him tight. Did that mean you still wanted him?
Did you still love him?
“You probably want to be left alone,” Jaehyun spoke aloud, shifting his weight. The sight of you by your lonesome on the little bench made his heart sad. His first instinct was to protect you. Always.
One breath in and one breath out. You were hoping the cold would freeze your traitorous brain. Your mind was playing the memory of dancing with Jaehyun on repeat. Your pulse still startled at the reminder of his kisses. And no matter how hard you tried to think of something else, you just couldn’t.
You don’t love him anymore. It’s over.
You thought of his soft hands on your waist and how tenderly he kissed your head, how sweetly he wiped away your tears. Does he love me? Or am I just some wounded animal he feels sorry for?
The cold and your reveries became too much and you made for the house. When you saw Jaehyun perched in the window, your heart skipped a beat.
“Hey,” Jaehyun greeted.
“Hi,” you returned, shrugging out of your coat.
Jaehyun approached and asked with caution, “Are we gonna talk about last night?”
It was obviously bothering him. You rubbed your arms nervously and replied, “I don’t know what to say.”
Jaehyun frowned. He had plenty. “I just didn’t want to read into anything.”
You shrugged. “It was a kiss, Jaehyun. I wanted it. Did you?”
Of course, he did. He instigated it. He had pressed his lips to yours without a second thought. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I saw you,” Jaehyun confessed, his voice lowering.
You dropped your gaze to the floor. Something you couldn’t explain was rising up in your chest. You could feel the tension building up in the room again. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whimpered, rubbing your brow.
“And what was supposed to happen?” Jaehyun asked, saying your name sadly.
You looked at him with pity.
Jaehyun bristled. “Were we just gonna sleep in the same bed? Were we gonna kiss by the lake? Just how far were we gonna go to convince your parents that we’re still in love?”
I am still in love with you. “I don’t know,” you replied honestly, voice trembling. “I just knew I couldn’t face them. I couldn’t face anyone with how badly I blew this relationship.”
Jaehyun recoiled. “Is that what you think - that you blew this relationship?”
Fighting was the last thing you wanted. You and Jaehyun just weren’t good at fighting each other.
You threw up your hands, exasperated, and snapped, “What do you want me to say?”
“I want the truth.”
“The truth doesn’t change anything.”
Jaehyun glared.
“Is that why you came up here? You wanted to hash this out,” you questioned, feeling a little betrayed, but not the least surprised.
Jaehyun was scathing. “I came here because you asked me to and I owed you a favor.” And I care about you.
That only stung more. You lashed out, “Seriously, Jaehyun. What do you want from me?”
“Not a goddamn thing,” he hissed, shaking his head in reproach.
You watched him go, hurt welling inside of you.
Jaehyun retreated to Mark’s room, slamming the door shut behind him. “Fuck,” he groaned, plopping down at the edge of the bed. It seemed you and he were still no good at fighting each other.
You crouched by the fireplace, tossing in more wood. Then, you shifted your attention to the kitchen, opening the fridge once or twice, tempted to down the white wine inside. The pressure in your chest was smothering.
Bristling, you went outside. Alone; that’s what I need. I just need to be left alone. Stop making me revisit these feelings. I have no good reason for walking away. Don’t make me justify it when it never even made sense to me.
Traipsing on the pier, you slid onto the ice intentionally, spinning around in a circle on the slippery surface. You knew the lake like the back of your hand, ever since you were a kid. Some people may have given respect to the danger of dancing on ice that hid fatally cold water underneath, but not you.
Grumbling under your breath, you pulled your jacket close and tried to ward off the thoughts still racing through your mind. What went wrong? That was the question you had. Hell, it was the first thing Mark asked when you told him you ended things with Jaehyun.
Even Jaehyun looked in the mirror after you left him and asked himself, “What did I do wrong?”
Despite the things you had in common, it wasn’t enough to offset where you were different. Incompatibility was what drove the wedge in your relationship. Jaehyun wanted complacency and routine. You needed passion and spontaneity.
Worst of all, you blamed your inadequacies and his lack thereof. Jaehyun was perfect. He was good at everything he tried and patient with everyone he met. When he walked into a room, the lights burned a little brighter.
You were reckless and clumsy. Hard work substituted raw talent. With Jaehyun, you always had to be at peak performance. You felt you constantly had to prove you were worthy of him. It was exhausting. You were perpetually fighting a monster that you had created entirely in your own head.
So when things began to crumble, you had no energy left to work things out with the man you loved. You were already tired and so you accepted defeat before the battle even began.
Meanwhile, Jaehyun had never fought for anything in his entire life. He was lucky in love and everything else. Doors opened for him without resistance. So when you walked away, he didn’t give chase. It wasn’t in his nature.
He blamed himself. Assumed he had done something wrong and thus deserved the loss of your love. Things had a way of working themselves out, right? Jaehyun was a firm believer in letting things happen as they are meant to happen.
You blew out a breath. There was a tiny shift in the ice beneath your boot, but you paid it no mind. You were too distracted.
Jaehyun could hardly believe his eyes when he saw you ambling over the ice. She really is fearless, he snipped with envy. Not him. He was borderline afraid of everything. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of making the wrong decisions. Terrified of regret.
You started to settle down when a voice abruptly yelled out your name behind you. Turning around, you saw Jaehyun coming toward you, striding across the pier until he wasn’t far from where you stood on the ice.
Jaehyun began, “I don’t know what I was thinking… coming up here.”
You shot back, “I don’t know why I asked you.”
Jaehyun glared, angered by that response. He hissed your name and snapped, “You know what? I came here because I wanted to see you, because I wanted to see if there was any chance we could make things right.”
You bit back the tears. Even after all these months, he still hadn’t let go. And neither had you.
Jaehyun softened, his voice beginning to tremble from the cold, “Because I haven’t slept since you left. I haven’t smiled since you left. I’ve spent days and weeks trying to get over you and I can’t.”
You cried, “Then, why didn’t you come after me? When I left, you didn’t ask me to stay.”
Jaehyun knew that was his fault. It weighed on him heavily. “I thought you hated me. I thought I must have done something unforgivable for you to walk away from me. After everything we promised each other.”
You sighed.
Jaehyun tilted his head, his heart on the line. “Last night, you kissed me. Do you still have feelings for me?”
You pinched your lips together. There was yet another waver in the surface under your feet, but it failed to register.
When you didn’t answer, he pressed, “Yes or no?”
Yes. A million times yes. You were in denial until he kissed you. Now, there was no denying it.
Suddenly, you heard a sharp crack and the blood drained from your face. Turning on your heels, you started toward him and screamed, “Jay, go back - the ice!”
The words had barely left your mouth before the ground gave way beneath your feet. Your yell was cut off when you hit the water, captured in a bone-crushing current of subzero temperature. Your fingers numbed in less than a second and all you could do was beat your arms on the impenetrable surface above you.
The lake swallowed you, swept you away. You could vaguely hear yourself screaming. Shadows danced across your vision. Then, everything faded violently to black. It was like going to sleep in a cocoon of water and darkness.
An eternity passed before light burst behind your eyes and water sputtered out of your mouth.
“Thank you, god,” Jaehyun cried out, cradling your face and turning your head as you continued to cough up water.
Dull pain rang out in your chest and you whimpered. Before you could speak, Jaehyun hoisted you into his arms and dragged you with him into the house as if you weighed nothing.
You were shaking so hard you were borderline convulsing. Your heart was pounding rapidly, trying to pump blood through your body and replenish your oxygen. Your body was fighting against shutting down.
Jaehyun stopped before the fireplace and pulled off your coat roughly, then his own.
You clung to him out of reflex, body searching for any source of warmth as he jostled you in removing your clothes. “What are you doing?”
Jaehyun met your eyes with a frantic expression and said, “Body heat. I know you’ve heard of hypothermia.”
You gawked at how harsh he breathed, how shakily he spoke. “Right now, all I hear is my teeth chattering,” you replied, convinced your joints were frozen solid.
That was when you noticed he was soaked through his clothes. His hair was plastered to his face, dripping with water. His lips were too dark a shade and his skin was paler than milk.
That idiot actually jumped in after you.
Something snapped inside of you. You quickly mirrored him, pulling your shirt off before unfastening the belt of his jeans as best you could with your numb hands.
The two of you stripped each other to nakedness, not a single thought other than warmth on your minds as you wrapped your arms around each other, chest to chest.
Jaehyun yanked the thickest blanket from the sofa and pulled it close around your bodies. He slowly lowered you to the floor in front of the fire, supporting your head gently. You buried your face beneath his chin and exhaled heavily, warming his skin with your hot breath.
“Thank you. Thank you,” you chanted softly.
Jaehyun shushed you. “Thank me later.”
His hand roughly stroked up and down your bare back, trying to generate more heat. You felt the flick of fire behind you, realizing Jaehyun had put you closer to the fireplace than himself. You tightened your arms and legs around him, determined to warm him with your body if it was the last thing you did.
You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but when you stirred awake, Jaehyun was soundly resting in your arms. His head was cradled to your naked chest and you were relieved to see his hair had mostly dried.
Sighing in relief, you leaned your temple against his and closed your eyes again.
When Jaehyun woke not long after, the fear finally left him. You were curled in a ball on your side, facing him. Your skin was warm, your breathing steady. He reached forward and brushed the hair back from your brow, running his thumb down your cheek.
You shivered, gravitating toward him. Something tugged you out of your dreams and you opened your eyes slowly, blinking away the haze. You saw Jaehyun looking at you and sighed.
Jaehyun shifted a little as he draped his arm around you, his lips inadvertently brushing your nose, and rasped, “You’re insane. Do you know that?”
“It’s been said,” you deadpanned.
Jaehyun glanced down your body to assure himself you were okay, cheeks flushing at the sight of your naked breasts. He wanted to touch you, caress every inch of you with his fingers and tongue until you only knew fire in your veins. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jaehyun finally said, “You’ve stopped shaking.”
You nodded, peering up into his warm eyes. The gravity of what happened weighed heavily on you, recognizing how dangerously you danced at death’s door and had almost dragged the love of your life down with you. Tears filled your eyes as you whispered, “I think I’m okay.”
Jaehyun said nothing. He couldn’t find the words.
“Thank you.”
He sighed, “Don’t mention it.”
You touched his face, tracing your fingers over the curve of his lips, and asked, “Do you still want me?”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. Of course, he wanted you. He wanted you so badly he couldn’t stand it. “I think I’ll always want you,” he finally said, as if admitting it to himself.
You leaned in without hesitation, sealing your lips to his. The kiss was tender, slow. Like two lovers reuniting after a lifetime apart. Your heart was preparing to burst.
Jaehyun gathered you to his chest and kissed you hungrily. When you hooked your knee on his hip, he palmed down your naked thigh, his hard cock viscerally aware of your warm, naked body against it.
You wished there was music playing in the background. All you could hear was the logs hissing and cracking in the hearth, and the wet smack of your lips meeting. The latter was enough to make you throb.
Jaehyun advanced on you, making a noise when you were finally on your back beneath him. You hummed when his tongue slipped into your mouth and you tangled his hair round your fingers, tugging firmly. Jaehyun couldn’t decide where to keep his hands. They wandered all over you, caressing your breasts, your ribs, your waist.
You whimpered when he thumbed over a nipple. Your buds were stiff at his touch and you kissed him a little harder. Ankles locking behind his back, the press of his thick cock on your lower lips made you arch up against him.
Jaehyun pulled back at your movements, staring into your eyes with lust and longing. “Does Mark have condoms in his room?” he asked, voice low and gravelly.
You never passed up a chance to have a laugh at your obnoxious brother’s expense and joked dryly, “I doubt they would fit you.”
Jaehyun’s face scrunched with laughter and the sound was music to your ears. Needless to say, Jaehyun was big. The first time you took his cock inside you, you were convinced he would tear you in half.
With that thought, your pussy ached and your thighs involuntarily clenched on his hips.
Jaehyun glanced down to see his member resting on your pussy, slick with desire, and whispered under his breath, “Raw?”
You nodded. Though you had been frozen only moments before, now you were burning up. The heat of him was clouding your head - and your judgment - and all you knew was you wanted Jaehyun inside you. Making love to you.
Jaehyun nipped at your lips and taunted, “Say it, baby.”
“Yes,” you panted, running out of patience as you tried to kiss his neck. “Raw and hard.”
Jaehyun snickered darkly and seized your lips again.
You kissed him, insatiable, smirking against his mouth when you felt him getting into position between your thighs. Then, you gasped in surprise when a hand brushed down your belly and cupped your sex.
Jaehyun came to his senses just long enough to ask, “Do I need to pull out?”
You shook your head and said, “I’m still on birth control.”
Jaehyun bit his lip at the thought of coming inside you and watched your face as he raked his fingers between your folds. You gripped his arms, eyes fluttering from him to his hand and back again, like you couldn’t decide where to look. Jaehyun craned down and kissed you just as he pushed a finger into your pussy, satisfied at your wetness and quickly adding another.
“Fuck,” you choked out. Months had passed without his touch and your body was a live wire at finally being pleasured again.
Jaehyun left a parting kiss on the corner of your mouth before sucking a nipple between his lips. The sound of him kissing and tonguing your bud was rivaled only by the wet squelch of your pussy around his digits.
“Oh,” you managed, eyes rolling closed as you undulated beneath him. We’re really doing this, you thought. We can’t bring ourselves to stop.
Jaehyun broke from your chest to whisper your name, sinking his fingers in and out of your pussy. His thumb searched and found your clit, rolling the nub. Ignoring the twitches of his cock, Jaehyun focused on preparing you.
You moaned loudly at his touch, heart pounding. Jaehyun tongued at your bud again, sucking and kissing your breast, and it made your core clench on his digits. Your hips began to bounce. His fingers were drawing you closer to orgasm and you fought it. You didn’t want to come yet. Not until he was inside.
Jaehyun had the same thought and recognized the signs of you near climax. He withdrew his hand and rose to his knees between your legs, grasping your smooth thighs and spreading them apart.
You peered up at him, breathing ragged with anticipation, and watched him steer his cock between your folds. You sank your teeth into your lip, looking at his length. It may have pushed your limits, but it never failed to bring you ecstasy.
Jaehyun prodded your entrance, pushing the head of his cock inside. Then, he grasped your hips and slowly coaxed himself further.
“Jaehyun,” you whimpered and moaned, reaching down to grasp his arms. It was a tight fit and you could never forget how it felt to stretch around him.
“Relax, baby,” he crooned, easing himself back and forth until you opened up for him. “Let me in.”
You cried out when he finally seated deep inside, but his lips on yours cut the sound short. Jaehyun kissed you endlessly, his hands palming your breasts, arms wrapping around you. You filled with pleasure. For the moment, he was all you could feel.
There wasn’t much you got right in your relationship with Jaehyun, but this? Yes.
Jaehyun started to move, pistoning himself inside you with his balls flush against your folds. He loved giving it to you deep, fucking your womb full of cum. You were a velvet vice on his thick cock, so tight it made his back arch.
You moaned softly, “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby,” Jaehyun replied, kissing beneath your ear.
You sucked in a breath when Jaehyun thrust into you a little harder. Lifting your legs, draping your knees over his thighs, you closed your eyes and let him bury his cock in your wet pussy again and again.
Jaehyun propped up on his fists and fucked you, languid and hard. Your breasts bounced with every thrust of his hips and Jaehyun couldn’t help but cup them in his broad hands. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he rasped, throttling into you even harder just to watch your body shudder.
You gazed up at him and ran your tongue across your teeth. You loved feeling stuffed full of his cock, filled like only he could fill you.
Jaehyun quickened his pace. Your hot cunt had him on the verge of losing his mind. And his restraint. He wanted this to last, but he was already on borrowed time. Too long spent without you. Too many nights spent fucking his own hand to thoughts of you. Only you.
And now here you were, moaning beneath him. Taking his cock like a champ as you always did. The rapture on your face was enough to make any man come undone. Yeah, that’s right, baby, he thought. You may hate me, but you love that dick.
You wanted to laugh. Never did you imagine you would be laid bare before the fireplace with Jaehyun’s hard cock inside you. Yet here you were.
Jaehyun moaned and the sound made your toes curl. He clenched his jaw, grit his teeth. His cock was twitching, warning him that he was about to pump you full of his load. “I’m close,” he stammered.
“I don’t care if I come,” you told him, eyes glazed with lust. “I just want to feel you.”
Jaehyun growled, “You’re gonna come.”
You gripped the rug beneath you hard, back arching off the floor. The slap of his body against yours echoed through the room, the telltale wet slap of hot sex.
Jaehyun moved faster, his breaths loud and heavy. He propped himself over you again and grabbed your throat, coiling his fingers around your neck.
You looked at him through hooded eyes, raking your nails down his chest before grasping his wrist. This was the Jaehyun you knew. The quiet old soul was your dominant partner in the bedroom. It was a dynamic you never knew you needed.
And couldn’t live without.
“Jaehyun,” you sighed, submissive.
Jaehyun pumped his cock into you harder, your pussy tightening on him each time he pushed back in. “Touch yourself,” was all he said.
Without another thought except climax on your mind, you let go of his wrist. With one hand, you cupped your breast and pinched your nipple, while the other traveled further south and rolled your clit.
“Can I come inside?” He needed to hear it again.
You purred without missing a beat, “Come in me. Please, baby. I need it.”
That always did the trick.
Jaehyun groaned and smacked his hips into yours, his hand around your throat keeping you in place. He started to pant, sweat dripping down his face with the effort, and the sight of you pleasuring yourself while his cock buried in and out of you finished him.
When you reached climax at last, you gripped the blanket beneath you with both hands, crying out in ecstasy as Jaehyun fucked his length into your swollen pussy. You shuddered and swore, his grip on your neck tightening when you tried to curl away from the stimulation.
Jaehyun moaned, emptying himself into you whilst you kneaded and pulsed around him. He thrust into you hard, milking his cock in your warm cunt and rubbed his thumb soothingly over your bottom lip with how well you took him.
You whimpered when he landed on you, smoothing your hands up and down his back. His softening cock stayed nestled inside of you and you could feel his cum mingling with your wet release.
So that happened. Jaehyun finally lifted his head and rasped, “Hi.”
You snickered. “Hi.”
Jaehyun leaned in and kissed you. You hummed softly as his lips trailed across your neck. His kisses were slow, soft; like they took every ounce of energy he had left.
The wood crackled and popped in the fireplace beside you. I’ll never be able to look at it the same way again, you thought, chagrined.
Slipping his spent cock from your folds, Jaehyun guided you to rest on him and stroked his fingertips up and down your bare side. Your head rose and fell with his chest, centered squarely over his racing heart.
After catching your breath, you cooed, “We should go upstairs.”
That was all he needed to hear. Without a word, Jaehyun got to his feet. You stared at him in all his naked glory, licking your lips with another surge of lust at the sight of his half-hard cock.
Jaehyun promptly reached down and swept you into his arms. You giggled in surprise, draping your arms across his shoulders and covering the base of his neck in kisses. Jaehyun carried you up to the bedroom and tossed you onto the mattress hard enough that you bounced.
Before you could complain (though it would have been anything but sincere), Jaehyun was on you, peppering your cheeks and neck with kisses. All you could do was grin at the featherlight touch of his lips, their affection tickling your skin.
Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you, crushing your smaller frame in his grasp. You carded both hands into his hair, damp with sweat. His lips were soft on your jaw, but his breaths were labored.
You reached between your bodies and grasped his stiff cock, pumping it in your fist. Jaehyun sucked in a breath through his teeth, abs tightening when you teased your hand around the head of his dick.
“Fuck me,” you whispered, staring up at him.
Jaehyun nipped at your lips playfully, watching you spread your legs underneath him. He could feel his cock twitching already; you made him out of his mind with desire.
“Please,” you crooned when he didn’t move, peering up at him innocently. “Jaehyun…”
Without warning, Jaehyun grabbed your waist and flipped you onto your stomach. He pushed your legs apart, making room for his knees, and draped himself over you.
You gripped the comforter with both hands, readying yourself, and moaned when he pushed his cock inside. Swollen with release, the rings of muscle in your core gripped him with delight at being filled again.
Jaehyun set a rough and rapid pace that had you seeing stars. He wrapped a hand around your neck, his lips wet on your cheek, and growled, “Good girl. Take that cock.”
You cried out, sinking your nails into his arms for dear life. Something vaguely similar to his name left your mouth. Jaehyun was ramming his length into your cunt and you were on the verge of combusting. The sounds you made were enough to make you cover your face in shame.
Jaehyun adjusted his hold on your body and pounded into you, bouncing you down to meet his thrusts. The bed creaked, the headboard slamming against the wall, and Jaehyun smirked when he realized he didn’t have to worry about making too much noise. You were moaning like a whore, chanting his name, and he couldn’t have been happier.
You sank your teeth into the blanket, stifling your sounds. Jaehyun’s hips smacked into your ass with a loud clap and his hands were unforgiving on your waist. You could feel the fire rising in your core again, tension gathering at the apex of your thighs.
“Fuck! Oh, god,” you shouted, toes curling at the peak of your orgasm.
Jaehyun groaned with satisfaction at your release and chuckled smugly, kissing across your shoulders and combing your hair out of the way with a tenderness that bemused you. He grinded into you slowly, coaxing you through your high.
You went slack on the mattress, panting. His kisses on your neck were maddening and you quickly pushed at his arms, wriggling your way out from underneath him.
Jaehyun blinked in surprise when his cock slipped out of you and started, “What are you…”
You pressed both hands to his chest and pushed, unsatisfied until he was flat on his back. Jaehyun grinned as you straddled him, his dimples on full display, and you steered his cock back to your entrance before sinking down on him.
Jaehyun licked his lips and stared up at you in worship, clasping your hips in his hands.
You bounced yourself up and down his cock, teasing your fingertips down his chiseled abs and over his nipples. Riding him went straight to your head. You felt powerful as you gave him pleasure. You enjoyed being the only one to get those noises out of him.
When Jaehyun was on top or from behind, he had all of the control. He could last and stave off orgasm for as long as he wanted. But when you were riding the soul out of him - as you were at the moment - it was all he could do not to bust the moment you sank down on his hard cock.
Jaehyun grabbed your ass roughly, enough to send a loud slap reverberating through the room, and groaned, “Slow down. I’m gonna come.”
You leaned in closer, nipping at his lips, and steadily rocked against him. “I want you to come. I want you to come so hard you can’t see straight.”
Jaehyun bit his lip, pupils blown wide.
Kissing the corner of his mouth, you sat up again and quickened your pace. You made sure to tighten your walls on him each time he sheathed inside of you.
The veins in his neck were bulging. Jaehyun gripped your waist so tightly you could feel the bruises forming beneath his fingertips.
You loved the sight of him beneath you. He was so gorgeous it infuriated you. Especially when he was fucked out.
Jaehyun finally released his lip from his teeth and his mouth gaped open. A moan escaped him and the sound made your walls pulse. “Baby, I’m coming. Fuck,” he warned, his voice weak.
“Do it,” you retorted, pressing your fingers into his chest to the point of bruising and bouncing your hips even faster to finish him off. “Fill me up.”
Jaehyun swore in his mother tongue and reached for you quicker than you could blink, trapping you against him. You buried your face in his chest and cried out as he thrust into you from beneath, his rhythm brutal and fast.
“Jaehyun,” you rasped, whimpering.
His arms around you were a vice, his hand at the nape of your neck pinning you to him. Jaehyun drove his hips into yours, bottoming out and releasing with a moan.
When he finally stilled, you slumped onto him and your breaths staggered out, warming his skin beneath your parted lips.
Jaehyun rose, holding you in his arms and carefully lowering you to the bed. He left a kiss on the corner of your mouth and brushed his lips over your neck, and whispered, “I love you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, ice threatening to fill your veins. The fire your bodies had made was already beginning to ebb. Cold was licking at your skin, trying to find its place in your chest once more.
Jaehyun rolled to his back and ran a hand down his face. Fuck, it was too good. He wanted to indulge in your body endlessly.
You scurried to the bathroom, cleaning yourself up. The soreness between your thighs forced a tiny sound from your lips. You splashed cold water on your face, trying to make sense of it all. What it meant; how you and he would feel in the morning.
There was a knock at the door and you opened with a shyness that was obviously misplaced.
Jaehyun peered inside, gave a flirtatious smile and murmured, “Mind if I run a bath?”
“That would be amazing,” you replied, proceeding to put up your hair. The ache in the core of your body emphatically agreed.
Next thing you knew, you were sitting between his legs in the hot bath, your shoulders back on his chest and your eyes closed. Jaehyun had his arms around your waist, his head leaning against the rim of the tub.
You felt like falling asleep. It would be all too easy with the warmth of the water and the soft cushion that was his body at your back. But you felt a familiar hardness and sleep predictably became the furthest thing on your mind.
Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and then your neck. You hummed quietly, sinking even deeper into his arms. When he palmed at your sex, you lifted your hips, straddled his thighs, and took him inside you again with a moan that echoed off the tiles.
By the time you collapsed next to Jaehyun in the bed, you were both exhausted and completely devoid of energy. Jaehyun tugged you close, draping the blanket over your shoulders, and you clung to him like he was the only thing that could mend your broken heart.
Which wasn’t far from the truth.
The next morning, you woke feeling more tired than rested. Slipping out from under him, you quietly dressed and brushed through your messy hair.
You escaped to the kitchen, making a fresh pot of hot coffee. Jaehyun would appreciate it, you knew, and you hoped it would help rouse you.
I really slept with him, like a total glutton for punishment, you mused, shaking your head as you put the coffee mug to your lips.
The patter of bare feet alerted you to his presence. Jaehyun sported another set of comfortable pajamas. His hair was disheveled, but his skin was still as perfect as ever. There was a mischief in his eyes, as if his mind was constantly replaying the night’s escapades, and a smirk on his lips for the same reason.
“Good morning,” he greeted, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before gliding past you to the cupboard.
It ripped your heart out. You were back in that place again, like nothing had changed even though everything was different. “Morning,” you finally remembered to reply.
Jaehyun noticed your cup of coffee and poured himself one. Leaning back against the counter, he eyed you. Beneath your clothes were a number of bruises that were a testament to his passion. He hadn’t meant to be so rough, but the excitement and eagerness of drowning in your body after so long had gotten the best of him. “Are you okay?”
“Hm?”
Jaehyun asked, “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” you replied with a shake of your head. “I’m okay.”
Jaehyun breathed a little easier in relief.
You watched him nervously. I can’t go through this again. I can’t deal with that heartbreak again, you thought bitterly. Damn it, I was finally starting to get over him.
Jaehyun plopped down in the nook by the kitchen, sipping his coffee and waiting for it to give him the kick of energy he needed after such a long night.
Your eyes followed him, fixated. No, that’s not true. Everything inside you knew that wasn’t true. You had never gotten over him. You loved him just as much today as you did the night your relationship ended.
Jaehyun had no clue about the war churning inside your head. Had he known, he would have tried to put those doubts and fears to rest. Though it wouldn’t have done much good.
“Jaehyun?”
“Yeah?”
Your voice trembled, “Did you say you love me?”
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed. Something was off in your tone and it nearly startled him how quickly you had shifted. “When?”
You stiffened. “You know when.”
Jaehyun exhaled loudly, almost rolling his eyes. “What do you want me to say?”
“That it’s not true,” you spoke timidly, full of remorse. “That you didn’t mean to say it.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “You want me to lie?”
“Please.”
“Fine,” Jaehyun snapped. “It was the sex talking.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you.”
Jaehyun decided in the moment he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you. He couldn’t look at you, couldn’t deal with you. Fury consumed him from head to toe. He rose, huffing, “Jesus.”
You watched him stomp away from you and you tensed with tears. It was selfish and cruel.
No sooner had a tear rolled down your cheek, Jaehyun stormed back into the room and snapped, “Why the hell am I doing what you want?”
You parted your lips to question him. Suddenly he was standing before you with the anger of a man that had finally had enough of being without you.
“Why did you leave?”
You shook your head.
Jaehyun grabbed you by the arms and roared, “Why did you leave me when you loved me - when we loved each other?”
You cried, “Because I don’t want to love you.”
Fuck you, Jaehyun screamed in his own head. He let you go, stiffening with the pain of a broken heart, and marched to his bedroom, slamming the door.
You stood in the kitchen by yourself and mulled. It’s too good to be true. We can’t just pick up where we left off. With that, you slipped away for a hot shower to wash off the shame.
Around lunchtime, the sound of a car sent your adrenaline on edge. You leapt out of your chair, racing to the front door and peering out the window. At the sight of Mark’s black Dodge, you yanked on your boots and rushed outside.
“Hi, sunshine,” your brother greeted, flashing a big smile as he pulled out a duffle bag to hang from his shoulder.
“Mark…,” you started, folding your arms to ward off the morning cold. But also in defiance. And definitely annoyance. Your brother was sitting squarely on the full spectrum of your negative emotions.
Mark took one look at you and laughed. “Oh, you guys totally hooked up, didn’t you?”
You narrowed your eyes at him and grumbled, “Aren’t brothers supposed to defend their sister’s virtues?”
“Whatever,” Mark said, sidestepping around you and through the open front door.
You followed him, shutting the door behind you.
Mark dropped his bag loudly and whipped around, continuing, “You’ve been unbearable since the breakup. I could only assume that without Jaehyun laying down dick on the regular, you were suffering from some serious sexual frustration.”
“Or maybe it was heartbreak,” you barked, discovering new unfound levels of irritation with your sibling. “Ever heard of that?”
Mark shrugged out of his coat and gave you a sympathetic expression, toning himself down. “Of course. Chill out and try not to hate me, will you? I only had your best interests in mind.”
That made tears prick your eyes, like he had ripped off the bandaid on a fresh cut, and you didn’t try to hide it. Pain was evident on your face and in your voice. “And now I’m right back where I was. Heartsick over a boy I can’t have.”
Mark grabbed your arm, attempting to pull you into a hug. He spoke as if he were consoling an upset child, “Why not? Why can’t you have him?”
It was all you could do not to bury your face in his chest and cry until you finally got all the tears out. The tears you had been fighting back for months. Pushing him away, you sneered vehemently, “Leave me alone, Mark. I hope you’re happy.”
Mark frowned, his eyes on your back. He scratched his head, deciding that he had royally fucked up. Then, he looked to the stairs and saw Jaehyun sitting near the top. “Great,” he groaned. “How much did you hear?”
Everything. “Enough,” Jaehyun answered calmly, “Let’s go.”
“If you’re gonna kick my ass at least let me put my shoes back on.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe later. For now, let’s give her some space. Come talk to me.”
Mark scratched his head again, nervous. “I appreciate you sparing my life.”
“Don’t push it,” said Jaehyun, clapping Mark on the shoulder. It was the closest thing to a hug the younger boy would get. All things considered.
The study was a dark nook in the house, tucked away in a corner. The books were old and dusty. No one had the heart to touch them since your grandfather died.
Mark and Jaehyun dropped into a pair of chairs situated around a chess board. There was an unfinished match left to gather dust.
“Tell me how bad I’ve fucked up,” Mark started.
“No more than I have,” Jaehyun deadpanned.
You had decided you weren’t finished with your brother, ready to give him a huge fucking piece of your mind. Coming to the study door, you stopped yourself from opening it when you heard voices.
“Alright, dude,” Mark said, rubbing at his tired eyes. “What went wrong? Give me a breakdown. Why aren’t you gonna be my brother-in-law?”
Jaehyun sank a little lower in the chair, wringing his hands pensively between his legs, and replied, “She shut me out, Mark. I couldn’t reach her anymore. We were sleeping in the same bed, but it felt like she was worlds away from me.”
That made you feel like someone had socked you in the stomach.
“Damn,” Mark sighed. It was worse than he anticipated.
Jaehyun let his eyes fall. You were on his mind now and that sent an aching pain straight to his heart. “Our relationship was easy. We were so in love and happy. It really was too good to be true.”
Mark listened intently. He was now more determined than ever to mend the divide between you and Jaehyun.
“Then, it turned into work. Like all relationships do eventually. We fought and we had never fought before. It was like we didn’t know how to handle each other anymore and neither of us wanted to deal with conflict.”
Mark nodded his understanding and said, “So nothing ever got fixed and it just started piling on. That’s why you can’t ignore shit. You have to deal with it in order to move on.”
Jaehyun almost smiled. He always liked Mark. Despite being younger, Mark had a lot of wisdom in different areas. He was easy to talk to, never passed judgment, and honestly just wanted the best for everyone.
You were thinking the same thing. Mark was right.
“Exactly,” Jaehyun continued. “And I guess, we didn’t want to do that or we just didn’t know how.”
“Start over.”
Jaehyun sighed. “Mark, you and I both know we can’t. Things went too far, past the point of no return. You can’t just wipe the slate clean when it’s covered in wounds.”
Mark shrugged. “Who says you can’t?”
“She doesn’t want that.”
“And how do you know that?”
Jaehyun frowned, his expression sad. “She told me.”
Mark rubbed his brow, setting his jaw with a flicker of annoyance. You baffled him and he was absolutely going to confront you after this conversation.
Little did he know, you kept listening in.
“She told me she doesn’t want to love me. She wants to move on,” Jaehyun said, like the words physically pained him. “Let her.”
Mark shook his head in frustration and murmured, “I know she’s gonna regret it. If she doesn’t already.”
I do, you thought, pinching your lips together. All this time you had blamed yourself for the relationship falling apart. Now you knew Jaehyun felt the same way. He took responsibility when you felt he didn’t have to.
The only difference was Jaehyun tried. When things fell apart, he tried to mend them. When you walked away, he tried to leave the door open for you to come back.
Meanwhile, all you ever did was freeze him out.
“I love her. I think I always will,” Jaehyun said, more so to himself. “I didn’t know what love was until I fell in love with her.”
Mark felt terrible, like he had betrayed the people he cared about most, and apologized, “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m really sorry I rubbed salt in all of these wounds.”
Jaehyun could never hold animosity toward Mark. He was too good-hearted and even when he fucked up, he meant well. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. Smiling faintly in comfort, Jaehyun replied, “It’s fine. I think we needed to see it. Once and for all. Now, we can finally move on with our lives.”
You lowered your head, arms folded tightly across your chest. I don’t want that, you told yourself. I don’t want you to move on without me. I wanted to share my life with you. I still do. I know that now. Or maybe I’ve always known and now I can finally admit it.
When Jaehyun and Mark rose, you quickly scurried away, retreating into your room. You expected Mark to come banging on your door, but he never did. Mark had decided you were hopeless, beyond help.
Nothing anyone said or did would convince you, except yourself. For the moment, Mark would help Jaehyun and leave you to stew in your own bullshit.
Suddenly, someone knocked on your door. You leapt up to answer, expecting your brother, and felt the blood drain from your face when Jaehyun stepped in.
You exchanged looks; hurt, anger, regret. All of the above.
“I’m leaving,” Jaehyun announced, setting down the bag in his hand and approaching you.
You met him the rest of the way, shoulders slumping in defeat. “May I ask why?”
Of course, you already knew why. You knew it intimately. But you needed to hear what he had to say.
If he had anything left to say to you at all.
Jaehyun exhaled and answered, “I can’t fake it. I’m in love with you and I can’t… go around pretending to be happy when I’ve never been so miserable.”
Your eyes clouded with tears and you rubbed your arms. The room felt colder. “I’m really sorry,” you whimpered.
“I know and I forgive you. We didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Quivering, you peered up at him and cried, “Please don’t hate me.”
Jaehyun folded, taking you in his arms and wiping your tears with his thumb. “I could never hate you, baby,” he whispered tenderly, trying to keep his voice level. “But I can’t let you have me anymore.”
You nodded in acceptance, meeting his eyes.
Jaehyun cradled your face and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. You melted into him, your body wanting him more than anything. Then, he pulled away.
When his hands slipped from you, you stiffened, shaking off the hurt as best you could. You knew this was the last time. The door would shut forever. Jaehyun wouldn’t take your calls again or send you an occasional text to see how you were doing.
No, this was the end for him. He was finally letting go so he could move on.
You watched him grab his suitcase and you called after him, “Have a safe trip home. Give Peaches a kiss for me, please.”
“Will do,” he said curtly, and you knew he would. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, Jaehyun.”
When the door shut behind him, you were rooted in place. A moment later, you could hear Jaehyun and Mark saying their farewells. When the voices died down, you came out and took the stairs quickly, pressing to the front door and looking out the window.
The hired car was waiting. Jaehyun lugged his suitcase with him as he slid into the backseat. And like a heartsick idiot, you watched the car disappear down the road.
Footsteps behind you pulled you away and Mark predictably glared. “I really don’t understand you, you know.”
You scowled, obstinate. “Get in line.”
Mark scoffed and left you to your thoughts.
You meandered for a place to sulk. The fireplace was unwelcoming. All you could think about was being naked in Jaehyun’s arms before the hearth. God knows you couldn’t retreat to your bedroom, not when Jaehyun had made love to you there, too.
Your eyes wandered to the kitchen. Even worse. You thought about the cups of hot cocoa you shared with Jaehyun and the way he made you laugh. And needless to say, the living room was out of the question. You could still hear the static of the record player when you and Jaehyun danced.
The whole house was tainted. There was nowhere to escape.
“I’m going outside,” you shouted, pulling on your jacket and shoving through the back door before Mark could contest.
Not that he would. Mark was too busy being irritated.
You trudged to the pier, forcing away the memories of broken ice and glacial water. But your head knew only Jaehyun. His wet hair, his flushed face, his swollen lips. The feeling of his arms around your waist. His breath on your neck. The look on his face when your vision came into focus after he pulled you from the ice.
I’m losing my mind, you thought in distress. Winter bird was too fitting a nickname for me. I’ve been here, alone in winter, freezing to death. You came along and melted me. Now, I’m winter again, but it’s not the same because I’ve known how it felt to be warm. And I want that feeling back.
At the end of the pier, you dropped to your knees and started to cry. It hurt too much. You couldn’t stand it. You cried until there were no more tears left, until you had grieved over time lost and for the years that would go by without Jaehyun in your memories.
And when you finally had enough, you took a deep breath of mountain air and felt - ironically and surprisingly - better. You chuckled. All the vitriol and regret and blame you’d been harboring in your chest was gone. You let it out and let it go, digging up the venom you’d kept burying and setting it free.
You finally felt a little better. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.
Rocking back on your butt, you propped your arms on your knees and took in the view. Your favorite place in the world still smiled down at you. Sitting in the silence was healing the rifts in your chest. Yes, it was cold, but the blazing sun never allowed the chill to overwhelm you.
There was something about the sky above. It was crystal blue. The clouds and the rays made the ice appear almost silver. The wind tangled your hair and tickled your nose. You released a long sigh, solely to see your breath manifest before you.
Winter bird. It was a whisper in your ears. You could hear Jaehyun saying it in your mind and in your memories.
You smiled contentedly. The mountains were engulfed in the fog, but still loomed over you. It was a solitary moment. For the minutes you sat there, it was as if you and only you existed in the world anymore.
He should be here, you thought. He should be sitting behind me, holding me in his arms. This is empty. This is cold.
Rebellion rose up in your throat. Never had you felt the urge to fight, but it was burning its way through you now. Something inside you was screaming, Don’t leave me behind. I want to be with you.
You leapt up and ran down the pier, bursting into the house like a gust of wind.
Mark lurched in his chair, having been engrossed on his phone, and exclaimed, “What the hell?”
You barked, “Mark, give me your keys. I need to borrow the car.”
Mark stood, his eyes lighting up and his teeth flashing in a big grin. “Are you going after your boy?”
You snickered at his reaction and said, “Yes.”
Mark took out his keys and tossed them to your waiting hands, yelling, “Go get him, but for the love of god, don’t wreck my baby!”
The car roared between the trees, kicking up snow. You didn’t want to speed and risk plowing yourself into a rail, but you knew you were battling the clock. Jaehyun would be catching the next train.
The station came into view and you swung into a parking space, albeit crookedly. Not that you gave a damn. Jumping out, your heart slipped into a panic when you saw the train pulling in with a loud blow of its horn.
Racing up the stairs, you breezed past the ticket booths and onto the platform, weaving between people. Fortunately out in a place like this, it was a small station. In no time, you saw him. Jaehyun was looking at the ground while passengers boarded in front of him.
Like he was hesitating.
“Jaehyun,” you shouted at the top of your lungs. “Jeong Jaehyun!”
Down the platform, every head turned, but only one had your attention. Surprise flickered over Jaehyun’s face when he saw you and his lips broke into the biggest smile.
You cleared the distance between you and him as fast as you could and leapt. Jaehyun caught you with ease and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting until your feet were off the ground.
“I love you,” you told him, pressing a kiss or two or three to his lips.
Jaehyun chuckled, trying to keep up with you, and muttered, “What do you think you’re doing, crazy girl?”
You pulled back as he set you down and held his face, staring into his beautiful eyes. “I love you. I think I always will. I didn’t know what love was until I fell in love with you.”
Shock was plainly written on his face, remembering his conversation with Mark in the study. “You heard all that?”
“Every word. I’m sorry. You were right. I had never heard it put into words before, but you were right about everything.”
Jaehyun softened, tightening his grip around you.
“I can’t stop loving you,” you finally admitted, including to yourself. “I tried.”
He tilted his head, his heart currently leaping over the moon. Never in a million years did Jaehyun think you would forsake your pride and chase him down at a train station. How romantic, he thought and the picture this moment painted brought him indescribable joy.
After all, he was nothing but a hopeless romantic at heart.
“You already know how I feel about you,” he murmured tenderly.
You nodded, biting your lip. “Can we start over? I don’t think we’re too far gone.”
Jaehyun stole a kiss and whispered, “I would do anything for you. If you want to try again, I’m ready.”
“All I know is I want to be with you. I’m done blaming myself. All this time I’ve been convincing myself I don’t deserve you.”
Jaehyun snorted. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Don’t ever do that to yourself again, baby. Understand?”
His stern tone made you smile. “Yes.”
Jaehyun wanted to laugh. He owed Mark big time. Of course, your brother’s idea of trapping the two of you together until you worked through your issues had blown up spectacularly. But in the end, it actually worked.
We really are just a couple of flawed kids trying to make it through life, Jaehyun thought fondly. “Promise me we’ll make it work. Don’t run away again.”
You gave a single nod and vowed, “I promise.”
“Then, let’s go. We still have a whole family vacation to get through.”
You grimaced. “I can never look at that fireplace the same way again.”
Jaehyun gleamed. “Well, whatever you do…”
“Don’t tell Mark,” you both said in perfect sync.
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These works are fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but are licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.
copyright 2020 - 2021 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) all rights reserved
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theje0ngs · 17 days ago
Text
“...i’m not the only one”
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SUMMARY | jaehyun has made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he knew this time, he really fucked up.  PAIRING/CHARACTERS | jaehyun x fem reader  GENRE/CATEGORY | angst, smut, marriage!au, cheating!au, non-idol!au, song fic  WORD COUNT | 6.8k [~25 mins]  CONTENT WARNING | 18+, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!), shower sex, cheating, profanity, mentions alcohol, mentions miscarriage, y/n is unaware that she’s pregnant, mentions divorce, mentions medical procedure, mentions blood, mentions pregnancy.  GELA SAYS | reminder, before proceeding to this story, please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with the topic or heavy theme (read the warnings!). you have been warned. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. this is by far my longest fic, i worked on this for months and to the anon who requested this, i hope u like this ! this also has a part 2, but the publish date is still indefinite as i’m still working on it. if there are any offensive or wrong parts, please let me know! i’ll immediately edit them or delete the part. thank you and enjoy!
TAGLIST | @chitaphrrrr @ukiyoneo @yunodaze @silent-potato @hwangful @httpjeongjaes @lune1897 @paolandotcom @yasmini24 @frickyratz @ahsshilee-me @trustmahluv @jaehyunsjasmine​
song used as inspiration: i’m not the only one by sam smith.
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jung jaehyun is his name.
jung jaehyun is the man you have loved since you were nineteen. who would have thought that two freshmen students in the huge campus of korea university with thousands of students, would eventually end up together? the two of you share a limitless amount of memories, both sad and happy memories that will be forever cherished, and today, the two of you will create a new one.
the moment you walk down the aisle, wearing the dress you have always dreamed of since you were young and the necklace that every woman in your family wore during their wedding starting from your great, great grandmother. having your friends and family watch you with teary eyes and smiles written on their faces, and your father, who always protected his little girl and promised that no one in this world will love his precious daughter more than him.
at the end of the aisle, stands the love of your life.
the man you will promise to go through thick and thin,
the father of your future children,
and the person who will be your lifetime partner and best friend.
“take care of my only baby girl, jaehyun.” was the last thing your father said to the groom before letting go of you.
“i will, sir.” he replied, smiling as he held your hand, guiding you to another step in front of the altar. 
throughout the whole ceremony, jaehyun looks at you as if it was the first time he’s seen you. like the first time he spilled coffee on your white shirt during freshman orientation several years ago. hearts were shown in his eyes yet you could tell that he was nervous, his eyes were bright red which you found cute. who would’ve thought that the man who was so confident presenting his work to other people would be so nervous in front of your whole family?
his vows were personally written by him, unlike the modern way of making vows which were typed and read through phones, jaehyun wrote his on a two-page scented paper. he started with the story of how you met, how you managed to stay strong throughout the years as a couple, thanking you for staying through ups and downs, and of course, it ended with the traditional ‘i love you, for better or for worse. ‘til death do us part.’ 
you shed a tear which he carefully wiped, not wanting to ruin your perfect makeup. six years together and ever since you became official, you knew he was the one. your vows were pretty much the same, lightening the mood when you told the story of how jaehyun almost shat his pants when he found out you came from a very influential and wealthy family. you thanked jaehyun for staying by your side throughout the years. he never left, and not once has thought of leaving.
jung jaehyun is his name and starting today, you will conquer the world together.
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this year marks your fourth year as mister and missus, and a decade as a couple. the year people say couples start to be fed up with each other after years of being together and would peak the risk of divorce. to commemorate the memorable ten years, you decided to throw a party. exclusive to friends and family to share this special moment with you. you took a week off work to prepare along with your mom and mother-in-law. this event was held at the townhouse, the one your grandparents gave you on your wedding day as they wanted their only granddaughter to live a comfortable life.
the past four years as a married couple were indeed memorable. jaehyun has established his own company and became one of the most famous tech companies in the country. zetta tech was built with jaehyun’s blood, sweat and tears and without you, he wouldn’t be able to achieve his life-long dream. you played a big role in his life.
expensive wine, catered food and various decorations were all neatly placed by the staircase. everything was perfect - just the way you wanted it.
“go ahead and doll up. the visitors will be here in a minute.” your mom said, planting a kiss on your temple before pushing you to the master’s bedroom. 
you entered the huge bedroom, passing by the bed and went to the shared walk-in closet. the dress you wore was from alexander mcqueen, the rose midi dress jaehyun got you for your birthday this year, partnered with a pair of louboutin pumps. a smile creeps on your face when you hear the bedroom door open. 
“hi baby, happy anniversary.” 
he planted a kiss on your lips, feeling his soft lips and it felt like you were kissing for the first time again. “happy anniversary, gorgeous.”
“go wash up and wear the tux i prepared for you. we already have visitors downstairs, so please move fast.”
a decade together and you were so used to tying his tie for him, like those scenes from romantic movies. “there you go, mr. jung.” you smile, running your fingers through the fabric of his tuxedo.
“let’s go meet our visitors, mrs. jung.”
the visitors cheer as soon as you walk down the staircase, most of them are from your friends. clinking their wine glasses with silverware, some even shouted ‘kiss!’ as if you two were newlyweds. you giggled, but did it anyway. jaehyun wanted to impress the crowd, twirling you around as soon as you got down and catches your back before connecting his lips to yours. like how a disney prince would kiss his princess, earning a loud cheer from the crowd.
the party was fun though the number of people congratulating you every minute of the night was countless, you were happy. throughout the night, jaehyun was by your side, being the loving and obedient husband he was. 
“y/n, honey, it’s been four years since you got married… have you talked about having kids?” his grandmother asked, it was so sudden that jaehyun choked on the wine he was drinking. you rubbed his back and asked him if he was okay, at the same time, his phone rang.
“sorry, i have to take this. work stuff.” he excused, peeling himself away from you and walked away.
“oh, about that. we haven’t really talked about it. we’re both busy with work, but we’re finding the right time.” you answered, watching your husband walk away with his phone attached to his ear.
“honey, i would love to see my great grandbabies soon. it would be better if you two start to plan a family before it’s too late, because trust me, there is no right time.”
when the party ended, all you wanted to do was spend the rest of the night with your husband. enjoy a bottle of your most expensive and oldest wine, then have sex. the words of his grandmother got into your head. she was right, there is no right time. the thought of having a small version of you and jaehyun running around this house puts a smile on your face and sends butterflies to your stomach. so when your husband was in the shower, you made sure to wear the blue silk chemise that your husband loves the most. it was one of his wedding gifts to you along with a gold necklace. you even sprayed his favorite perfume and the moment you heard the shower go off, you immediately jumped to the bed and posed seductively.
“who the fuck is calling at this hour?” you murmur, grabbing his phone that was vibrating on his bedside table.
apparently, a person named claire does.
your eyebrows furrowed when you saw a bunch of notifications flood his lockscreen and one message caught your attention - ‘wearing your favorite lingerie. i miss you.’ shocked, you dropped the phone on the bed and stood up. was he cheating on you? who was this ‘claire’ and why was she messaging your husband at 1 in the morning?
“someone is wearing my favorite lingerie.” he whispered, followed by a lustful kiss on your shoulder. you felt his arms snake around your waist, wanting to remove the garment off you. 
you sighed and shook your head, “jaehyun, stop.”
“i’m trying to… you know, get my lovely wife in the mood.” he replied, pushing away the strands of hair that were covering a part of your neck and bit the skin gently.
you pulled away from his grasp and tied your robe tighter, he was confused by the sudden change of mood and thought that maybe you were just tired. he watched you leave the closet and even heard the bedroom door shut. she is not mad, she’s just tired. he reassured himself.
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“ah- fuck,” you moan as your back touches the silk bedsheet, your hand travels behind jaehyun’s nape. 
you were bare naked in front of jaehyun, his lips latching on your nipple as he massaged the other breast. you couldn't help but throw your head back due to the sensation you were feeling. he sure knows how to make you crazy; rolling and circling his tongue on your nipple to bring sensation he knew you loved so much. you ran your fingers through his soft locks, pulling them gently as you arched your back in pleasure. something felt empty when he removed his hand to focus on fingering you; god, he knows what your weaknesses are during sex. 
“jaehyun, can you just fuck me already?” you say, propping both of your elbows on the soft bed.
“mhmm, my wife’s a little… impatient today, huh? should i punish you?” 
you were about to answer, but his phone just had to ring. you immediately gripped on his wrist as if you were telling to let the call go to voicemail, but he shook his head and made a lame excuse that it was work. work, work, work. he says that every single time you were about to have sex, to the point where it's no longer believable. the last time you had sex was over a month ago, since then, it was always postponed.
“i'm sorry, baby… it's-”
“work, yeah, i know.” you interrupt, “go ahead, fine.”
jaehyun sensed the tone of your voice; mad, but calm. he knew you too well that even your facial expression meant something. he sighs, “what is your problem?”
“nothing, just go.” you replied, standing up to blow the candles you lit earlier and wrapped a robe on your naked body. you were tired of his excuses. but you had no choice.
“i'll make it up to you tomorrow,” he tried to reconcile, “i'll take you to wolfgang’s, it's your favorite steakhouse, right?”
you shook your head and said: “it’s alright. don’t forget your keys, i'm going to sleep.”
she’s just tired. jaehyun reassured himself as he watched you slip under the covers, your back facing him as he buttoned his dress shirt. like any other day, jaehyun planted a kiss on your temple before leaving. and the moment you heard the bedroom door close, you turned around and looked at his side of the bed. your fingers running through the soft fabric of the duvet.
after your anniversary night, a few weeks ago, you and your husband went back to your lives as if you never saw anything. as if nothing happened. you never confronted him about the message you saw not because you didn’t want to, but because you were scared to. you didn’t want to lose him; he was your everything. there were days that you wanted to forget about it, erase that memory, erase that image of jaehyun sleeping with someone. there were days that you did, for instance, you forgot about it when you went over to your parents’ house for dinner with him. he looked so happy and satisfied with you that night, for a brief amount of time, you forgot that he had another woman.
four years - what went wrong? was it because you took over your mom’s business earlier as expected? you were too busy after she handed you her company, but despite your hectic schedules, not once did you forget to check up on him. so, what was the problem, and what happened?
your thoughts were too playful that night, and you didn’t even notice you got tired and fell asleep until your alarm for the weekends went off. you stood up and got ready for work, took a bath, and wore one of your favorite casual white dresses. while getting ready, you did not notice jaehyun wake up. he suddenly appeared inside the walk-in closet while you were applying makeup. he placed a kiss on your clothed shoulder before heading to the shower.
you left the house without saying a word to him, only leaving a note on the fridge that says you were at work. the f/w fashion week will begin in a month, so most of your weekends are spent in the office, reviewing the designs you will release. a busy month in allure indeed. during a presentation of the new designs, you couldn’t focus. something was bothering you again. the moment your mom touched your hand broke you from your reverie, asking if you were alright and listening. you nodded your head and tried to focus until the end of the meeting. 
“honey?” you heard your mom knock outside your office and opened the door. “i just wanted to remind you about alex’s art gallery downtown. tonight’s the opening, your father and i expect to see the two of you there.”
shoot. you forgot about your sister-in-law’s invitation to her art gallery. “must’ve slipped my mind, but yes, i will come.”
at 6 p.m., you had time to change clothes before the opening at 8. you hurriedly drove back home and saw jaehyun playing with the neighbor’s 5-year-old daughter in your front yard. they looked so cute and made you imagine the future kids you will have. but with your husband having an affair, it’s only left to your imagination. he smiled at you when he saw you get down from your car. rae, the five-year-old ran to you and hugged your legs. she was a little dirty by playing in the garden with jaehyun, staining your white dress but it didn’t matter. 
“hello, rae! did you have fun playing in our… um, dead garden?” you chuckle, lowering yourself to meet her eyes and tucked away the hair that was covering half of her face.
“i did! it’s not dead though, it’s still beautiful!” she said, getting distracted by the butterfly that flew over the marigolds. “it's beautiful! look at that butterfly!” 
rae removes herself from your grasp and runs after the butterfly. “my mommy is here! thank you for playing with me uncle jaehyun!” jaehyun giggles and watched the child run to her mom with open arms.
“um, tonight is alex's gallery opening.” you say, standing up to face him. “i think i'll be home late. i can cook for you before i go out.”
jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed, “you mean we’ll be home late? because i'm coming with you.”
“oh, i thought you were… i just assumed you had work. again.”
you left jaehyun standing outside your house and walked inside. he's coming with you? that’s new. he never really talked or showed interest in whatever you were doing these past few weeks and was busy with work. you enter the bedroom, trying your best to unzip the dress from the back but couldn't. 
“let me help you.” you heard jaehyun say, you looked at the mirror and saw him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. “you could've called me for help, you know?”
in return, you gave him a small smile and let the dress fall past your shoulders. your husband watches you with hungry eyes - like a lion about to devour his prey. the white lace bra and panties caught his attention; the set of underwear was perfect for you. he licked his lips, feeling the dried skin on it as you entered the shower. should i join her? he asked himself a few minutes after, i should join her to make it up last night. without hesitation, jaehyun unbuckles his belt and hurriedly undresses himself. both of your clothes were on a pile in the middle of the shared closet. 
the hot water running through your skin and the silence inside the four walls of your bathroom calmed you for a moment. you had a lot in mind that you didn’t notice the shower door open and you were in the same small, hot room with your husband. the next thing you know, his lips were peppering your neck with kisses and his hands held the mound of your ass. 
“j-jaehyun…” you quietly moan, your nails grazing through his soft, perfect skin. “we can’t… i have to go to- fuck.”
jaehyun knew you too well. he knew your strengths; he knew your weaknesses. his fingers move between your legs, running them over your wet pussy as you let out a gasp. hook, line, and sinker. he’s got you once again. he smirked, slowly pushing his index finger as he held you in his other arm. you held onto his arm, trying your best to sustain your moans but he whispered: ‘let me hear you, my love.’ on your ear before biting your earlobe. 
“we have to be quick- fuck, i’m near!”
he pulls out his fingers and distances himself a little further from you, turning off the shower and spits on his palm as a lube, jerking himself. he lifted your leg, putting it on the shower seat to avoid any accidents as the two of you have sex inside the wet area of your house. “ready?” he asked, you nodded your head and whimpered when you felt the tip of his cock touch the entrance of your pussy. “let me know if you’re okay, alright?”
“y-you can move now, jaehyun.” 
he started off slow, picking up the pace and making sure you were comfortable. and fuck, did you look so good taking him from behind. the way your ass bounces as he thrusts, and the way you hold onto the shower door handle, moaning like there’s no tomorrow. his length was filling you up so, so perfectly. jaehyun’s hand rested on your hips, the skin slapping mixed with moans and groans echoed inside the small room. you adjusted your position, your back resting against his front. his hand traveled down your pussy and rubbed his fingers against your clit, the other massaging your breasts. the synchronization of his thrusts and his fingers on your clit was pushing you closer and closer to your orgasm. 
“fuck, baby, you feel so… fucking good.” jaehyun growls, “so perfect, nobody will fuck you the way i do, right?”
“yes, yes, yes!” you chanted, moving your hips at the same time with his thrusts and your walls started to clench. “i-i’m cumming!”
jaehyun placed a kiss on your shoulder blades, signifying that you did a great job. his white load seeps out of your core the moment he pulls out, he turns the shower again and grabbed the shampoo, starting to lather them on your hair. he loved taking showers with you before, but due to your tight schedules and business trips and work, this was the first time he joined you again in the shower. your body was still weak from the intense orgasm, so you let jaehyun take care of and rinse off the lather of bubbles from the shampoo and soap on your body. 
“you should dress up, love. i’ll continue showering.” he mutters, planting another kiss on your shoulder. you nodded your head and opened the shower door, wrapping yourself with your warm bathrobe. 
after you got dressed and dried your hair, you sat down on the ottoman with a glass of wine on your hand and your phone on the other. as you were scrolling through your emails, jaehyun’s phone lit up. your mind instantly told you not to pick up the phone, but you just had to as that is what your instincts were telling you. and just like the night of your anniversary, it was claire. again. you rolled your eyes and read through the notifications, ‘xxxx hotel, 7:30. let’s have fun before you drop me off at the airport tonight.’ you threw his phone across the bed and finished your glass of wine. 
jaehyun returns from the shower, entering the bedroom with the towel wrapped around his hips. he smiled at you, “have you seen my ph- oh, there it is.” he said, taking his phone on the bed and unlocked it. you know what will happen next. “um, babe? there’s something that happened at work, they need my assistance. i’ll go there quickly, help them, then i’ll follow you at alex’s. is that okay?”
“as if i have a choice.” you sigh, “well, i’ll get going.”
it took you a few minutes before you drove to your destination, taking unnecessary stops on the curbs to breathe. it took you almost an hour to arrive, even though it was normally a 20-minute drive from your house.
“y/n! oh my, it’s been awhile! i’ve missed you.” alex, your sister-in-law greets you with a bone-crushing hug the moment you step inside the venue. “you look so gorgeous!”
“congratulations on opening another gallery, alex. adam must be so proud!” you said, unclasping the hug and handed her the paper bag with wine inside of it.
the gallery was not that crowded, yet not too empty. a perfect place to socialize with people who have the same interest in art as you. 
“is that my baby sister i see?” you hear the familiar voice of your brother, jogging towards your direction and gave you a hug. “how are things? where is jaehyun?”
“good.” you lie, “work is a little stressful, but it’s good. jaehyun had to go back to work, he’s working on new software.”
“that’s great, you’ve adjusted pretty well in allure. wouldn’t be so shocked if you turned into mom.” adam joked, earning a smack from his wife as he made a reference about your mom turning into a workaholic person since establishing allure.
“go ahead and give y/n a tour of the gallery. i’ll go meet my guests.”
your brother nodded his head and led you towards the quiet part of the gallery where most of the beautiful artworks his wife made were displayed. your sister-in-law was introduced to the stardom of art after she released an abstract painting of a family, gaining a big amount of attention from various people around the world. it was the same painting that you were looking at right now.
the words of jaehyun’s grandmother were still haunting you. oh, how badly did you want a baby with your husband. but not when he’s having an affair, not when you’re suffering like this. 
“penny for your thoughts?” your brother appeared out of nowhere after leaving you alone to grab something to drink for the two of you.
“i’m just admiring this painting.” you smile, “adam, can i ask you something?”
“shoot.”
you took a sip of the white wine, your eyes were focused on the painting. “if you… if you suspect that someone is cheating on you, let’s say for example, alex is cheating on you with someone from work. would you… would you ever confront her about it?”
“goddamn that’s a deep question.” he laughed, “but yeah, i would. right away, so we can fix things to save the marriage, or you know… end it early? why did you ask this anyway? is jaehyun cheating on you?”
you almost choked, that was his first guess. “no! of course not, he wouldn’t. it’s just a friend of mine.”
“i almost forgot the look on your face when you’re telling me the truth.”
“he’s not, okay? we’re fine.”
“he better not cheat on you.” he sighed, “or else, he’ll face the wrath of me, harry and noah.”
you chuckle, remembering the memory of your three older brothers confronting your ex-boyfriend whom you dated when you were sixteen, and your ex was nineteen. but adam saying that he’d confront alex if ever that event happened made you think that maybe you should’ve done it. you should’ve confronted jaehyun about it, and if you did, maybe you’re saving your marriage by now.
but you didn’t.
because you were scared. because you were a coward. you weren’t like your brother who makes big decisions without considering any consequences and possibilities. maybe there’s a part of you that wants to talk to jaehyun about his infidelity, but you’re scared to know the reason why he cheated in the first place. you spent the past hour admiring the painting and socializing with others before deciding that you needed to go, you needed to see it for yourself, you needed to face him. you kissed your parents goodbye, apologizing for leaving early and made up an excuse. they tried to convince you to stay, but you didn’t. 
“come on, answer the phone…” you mutter, buckling your seatbelt as you command siri to dial hanbyul’s number, jaehyun’s assistant. a part of you was relieved when she answered the phone, “i’m truly sorry for calling you at this time. do you happen to know where jaehyun is?”
“he’s not with you? he left the office at around 5 today since he said he had a gallery opening that he needed to attend.” she answered, sounding too confused.
“ah, i see. thank you, hanbyul. please don’t tell him that i’ve called you.”
you set the navigation to the hotel. the city was miraculously peaceful, you made it to every green light and barely stopped. as you parked your car a few blocks away, you made sure to be wary of your mission. you hid near the piano where you could perfectly see the front desk. according to the text message you’ve read earlier, she’s checking out at 11. the time was 10:51 in the evening, and any minute now, any of these elevators will open.
at 10:57, you’ve seen your husband exit the elevator with his mistress in his arms. whispering sweet nothings to her as she smiled. time stopped and you were frozen on the spot when you saw jaehyun kiss her on the lips. 
and just like that, the truth has slapped you. real hard.
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it has been exactly a month since you saw jaehyun and his mistress.
you didn’t do anything even after seeing the two of them. you didn’t confront him. you didn’t tell the people around you that your husband was having an affair. you acted like everything was still perfect, like every puzzle piece was still pieced together. work was a great distraction, it took your mind off of it for a little while as you got ready for your first and biggest event as the new ceo of allure. 
you and jaehyun barely talk to each other, but as much as possible, you try to. whenever he comes home late at night, you’re asleep. whenever he wakes up, you’re already at the office. today was the first time he woke up with you still laying in bed, asleep like a serene river. he smiles to himself, the tip of his index finger runs through your cheek, he couldn’t help but admire your beauty in the morning.
jaehyun froze when you turned around, your back facing him as you checked the time on your phone. 8:00 am. you were expected to arrive at the office in an hour for the final touches of the event happening tonight. he greets you a good morning, but you only respond with a smile and went inside the bathroom to get ready.
when you got out of the shower, jaehyun was not in the walk-in closet nor the bedroom. the fresh aroma of coffee and bacon tells you that he was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. he thought since this was the first time you two saw each other again in daylight, he’d prepare a simple meal for you. 
“wow you… prepared breakfast.” you say, putting your bag on the counter and sat on the barstool. 
“mhmm, this is the first time i woke up in weeks with you beside me, figured i should savor the moment.” he replied, “sit down, pancake’s almost done.”
well, this is awkward. you thought. a decade together and this was the first time you felt awkward around him. because whenever you look at your husband, your mind screams ‘cheater’. “breakfast is served.” he said, flashing his dimples out as he proudly serves you a platter of pancakes with some burnt bacon. “sorry about the bacon, i forgot to flip them. coffee?”
the smell of coffee plus the smell of bacon suddenly made you feel nauseous, when did they start to smell like shit? you thought. “um, no thanks.”
“really? you love french press.”
you didn’t answer him and focused on eating the pancakes instead. he cocked an eyebrow by your sudden rejection of coffee, but he shook his head and sat next to you. pouring the coffee in his cup instead. you felt uneasy as you felt him watch you eat the food he made. you weren’t used to having someone watch you eat - it was creepy. annoyed, you let out a sigh and dropped the silverware on the side of the plate.
“i- i have to go now. my team needs me.” you say, jumping off the stool and grabbed your bag. jaehyun called your name, but you ignored it, heading straight to your car.
why is she acting weird? he thought, sending a text to his assistant to buy him a bouquet of flowers and send it home for him to bring it to you later before the event. all throughout the day, jaehyun could only think of you. you were acting like he was a different person, you were acting like you’re strangers.
“please move that curtain to the left, it’s covering the stage and i do not want my models to slip later.” you sternly said, your arms folded as you watched your team move the long curtain. it was already five in the afternoon and the event will start in an hour.
“y/n!” you heard someone call from behind, “it’s been so long.”
“no way, changmo!” you greet, running to him and wrapped your arms around him. “what are you doing here?”
“i’m performing later, i figured i’ll look around so i could see the stage. you know, to double check.”
“oh my, i didn’t know!”
ku changmo. your ex-boyfriend, the one you dated when you were sixteen. the man always dreamed of performing on stage and his mantra back when you were dating? that he’ll be a rockstar, and here he is now - indeed a rockstar. your breakup was clean, there were no hard feelings left and you were young when you broke up. you two were more distant friends now. jaehyun, well, even if you broke up a long time ago, wasn’t a fan of the idea that you keep in contact with changmo.
jealousy? maybe.
on the other side of the venue, stood your husband. his ears were getting red and it was like he was about to burst any second now. he was looking for you to wish you good luck. from the distance, jaehyun was like an angry bull - ears and nose letting out smoke as he watched your ex boyfriend wrap his arms around you.
“y/n.” jaehyun called, walking towards your direction. you turned around and sighed, oh for fuck’s sake. you thought, giving him a fake smile. jaehyun offers his hand, “changmo, it’s nice to see you.”
“same to you, jaehyun.” your ex says, shaking his hand. “well, y/n, it was nice catching up with you. i should go. congratulations.”
“thank you, mo. good luck on your performance later, break a leg!”
jaehyun watched changmo walk away and when he’s finally out of his sight, he turns to face you. he gripped on the end of the bouquet tightly, trying to keep his anger inside. “what the hell was that?”
“what? changmo just said hi and congratulated me.”
“he hugged you.”
you rolled your eyes and sighed, all this, the stress you’re feeling - aside from the last minute touches of the event and jaehyun being a complete asshole is starting to get into your nerves. you wanted to slap him, but you won’t. you won’t make a scene.
“can we talk about this when we get home later? you’re stressing me out, this whole event is stressing me out. so, please, for the love of god, leave me alone for a while.” you begged, biting your lip to prevent yourself from crying.
you were strong. you got through the whole event. you got through it without breaking down.
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you didn’t know when it all started. 
one minute the house was in complete silence, only the sound of your heels clicking was heard. the next minute, the sound of plates and wine glasses shattering comes in sync with your and jaehyun's shouts and screams. you had just gotten home from your first and biggest event as the new ceo of allure. the f/w fashion week 2021 was a huge success, to you and your team, of course. all the hard work and dedication for the past four months have all paid off. 
so here you are now, leaning against the kitchen counter surrounded with broken plates and yelling your lungs out.
“he got his hands all over you again, y/n! you’re not supposed to do that! he’s not supposed to do that!”
“why, why do you always assume that whenever i see one of my exes, i'm doing something with them? that i'm flirting with them?” you exploded, “i’m a married woman, yuno, for fuck’s sake! do you really think i'd throw away the years we spent together that easily?”
“because-”
“i'm not done, yuno. it was all clear that all changmo wanted earlier was to ask how i was, to congratulate me for doing such a good job with that whole fucking event! why- why must you assume that i'm cheating on you?!”
“i did not assume that you were cheating, all i’m saying is-”
“that’s basically what you’re implying! ‘he got his hands all over you again?’ so, what if he did? it was just a hug! a friendly hug to be exact. it’s- it’s not as bad as what you’re doing.”
you broke down on the last sentence. tears started to roll down even if you tried your best not to. you were too tired to speak, too tired to fight. you were drained. all you wanted was to run away, disappear- anything to keep you away from this house. 
“what are you talking about?”
“jaehyun, how naive do you think i am? do you still think i know nothing about her? about claire?” you fought, “i… i tried my best to deny everything. i tried my best to think about it. i tried my best to not picture you, fucking another woman!”
“y/n, it’s not what you think-”
slap. the anger you felt the moment you found out, the moment you saw them in the hotel, the time he made excuses about work and the moment he accused you of cheating, all that anger was poured in one slap. jaehyun couldn’t believe it. you walked past him, heading straight to the bedroom and locked yourself inside, in hopes that your husband would follow you and beg for your forgiveness, come clean but you heard the engine of his car turn on. you bawled louder when your eyes met the big portrait of you and jaehyun standing next to the lounge chair. a picture of your first dance during your wedding reception. it felt like the portrait was mocking you.
the two of you loved that image, it shows how in love you were and without a single worry about the world, because you two had each other. where did that go? why did this happy couple experience this kind obstacle? where did it all go wrong?
“fuck,” you cursed loudly, feeling a piercing pain on your stomach. you looked down and noticed the trickling blood on your legs, “fuck.”
jaehyun was driving around the city for hours now. he did not feel like staying at home - how will he face you after that fight? it was five in the morning, and here he was, downing a bottle of alcohol and admiring the beauty of the han river at dawn. he sighed, he has made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he knew this time he really fucked up. 
whenever jaehyun closes his eyes, he remembers a core memory he shared with you.
the night you told him you wanted to be official,
the first time you said i love you,
the time you introduced him to your family,
the time where you helped him prepare with one of his biggest presentations,
the day he established his own company,
the day he asked you to marry him,
the day you got married and of course, where it all started,
the day where he spilled coffee all over your white shirt the first day of university.
he was woken up from his thoughts when his phone rang, revealing adam's contact number. he hesitated for a moment, does adam know? did the news of me cheating spread like wildfire? he thought, pressing the green button, and was greeted by your brother’s voice, it was obvious that he was panicking as he told him that he was taking you to the hospital. he could hear your screams behind, telling your brother to drive faster.
“she’s pregnant, jaehyun.” adam said as soon as he arrived, diverting his attention back to the papers he was filling up for you. “she's just taking a rest.”
jaehyun nodded his head and pushed the door open, god did he hate hospitals. you were laying on the side, back facing the door and had an iv attached on your hand. the room was too quiet, it was deafening. he sat at the edge of the hospital bed, trying to keep you close to him even though you pushed his hand away from yours. 
“adam told me that you’re pregnant… why didn’t you tell me?” he sighed, he was about to continue, but the door opened suddenly and revealed a male doctor. 
“good morning, mr. jeong. i was told that you have arrived.” doctor kim smiled, “y/n just had a d&c procedure over an hour ago. i’m here to discuss the things she shouldn’t do for at least a week or so-”
“i- what happened? why did she need a procedure?”
“y/n had a miscarriage. she needed the procedure right away because she was 8 weeks pregnant. you know about this, right?” he shook his head, “oh, well… i'm very sorry to be the one who told you about it. but you really have to take care of y/n, she must avoid anything that would cause stress and fatigue.”
after further explaining your situation, doctor kim leaves the two of you alone inside the room. you were 8 weeks pregnant. were. you didn’t talk to him about it, just like you didn’t confront him about his affair. you hid secrets from him, like he hid about his affair. both of you were at fault. 
“did you know?” he asked, taking a seat next to the bed.
“i just found out when adam rushed me to the emergency room.” you replied, “jaehyun, i don’t want this… i- i can’t be in the same room as you, i feel so suffocated. i want to forget about this… jaehyun, i can’t do this anymore. i have to be alone.”
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the sun was up and seeped through the curtains of the bedroom. jaehyun rolled over to the other side of the bed in hopes that he will cage you in his arms and greet you a good morning, instead, he was greeted by a cold and empty space. he realized that it has been a month since you left this house with everything you own, basically the place has been empty and so was jaehyun’s soul. 
“damn it, i'm coming! you don’t have to ring the bell so many times!” he shouted, sprinting down the stairs and immediately opened the front door. no one was there, but someone left a manila envelope. jaehyun frowns when he sees the logo, a well-known law office and was addressed to him. his heart dropped.
hello, jaehyun. i know this is all so sudden, however, i have decided. i already signed it, so please cooperate with me. there is no point in continuing our marriage. please sign these divorce papers and send them back to my office. i will contact you as soon as possible and i will see you in court. - y/n y/l/n
he fucked up. big time.
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copyright © theje0ngs. 2021. all rights reserved.
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1K notes · View notes
ppangjae · 27 days ago
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SUMMARY. You’d be considered lucky to have computer science genius Jeong Jaehyun as your TA, but not for academic reasons. 
GENRE. college!au | e2l!au | fluff 
pairing. comp sci TA!jaehyun x fem!reader
word count. 2.0k+ words
author’s note. i blame nct for my endless pain. that is all. happy (prob not so happy because writing this gave me pain) reading!
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ERROR 404 | ERROR 400 | ERROR 500
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Code. Breathe in. Breathe out. Quick sip of your double shot on ice. Repeat.
Fourth year of undergrad. Scratch that. Last year of undergrad. You just can’t wait until you’re out of this hell hole. Your fingers that type and code without end seem to have a mind of their own, only halting to a stop to rub your eyes that get too dry from staring too long at your laptop screen. What time is your tutorial again? Your mind is all over the place.
You pull up your timetable, eyes scanning the somewhat crumpled up paper to find the time of your first tutorial of the semester. You have roughly an hour to kill before your tutorial, but that’s not what’s catching your eye. What catches your eye is the printed name of your TA.
Jeong Jaehyun.
You scoff. Well, fuck.
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“Welcome everyone to the first tutorial session of the fall semester!”
It’s quite shocking to see everyone present in the tutorial room. You’ve never seen anyone so eager to attend a tutorial session. There’s a flock of female compsci majors sitting right at the front of the tutorial room, making sure to fall within Jaehyun’s line of sight. You wonder how early they arrived in the tutorial room to get the closest seats to him. Just a minute late to the session, you crack a few knuckles and head to the only seat unoccupied near the back. As if you feel a burning stare on your side profile, you glance to your right to met eyes with—
“My name is Jaehyun, I’ll be your TA for the semester.”
Holding in a scoff, you plop yourself down onto your seat. Pulling out your laptop, you look up from your loading screen to meet eyes with him again. There’s a small smirk spread across his lips. You don’t pay much attention to it. 
“Let’s get started, shall we?” Jaehyun begins, turning his back towards the class to pull down the projector screen.
As he’s setting up, you take the chance to examine him. He’s sporting a grey hoodie with a navy blue shirt on top. It looks like he had just woken up from a power nap and remembered that he had a tutorial session to teach. You could be right, especially when he lets out a small yawn and rubs his left eye. 
“Have you all started on your assignments? I think Professor Kim posted the instructions.” Jaehyun asks to start a conversation. All the students answer in all different forms, from I barely even started! to We have an assignment? but you just sit in your seat, finishing the last few bits of the assignment itself. 
If there was one thing you learned in the past three (and a few months) of undergrad, it was to stay on top of your shit. No relationships. No dates. Just you and the comfort of your laptop and twin-sized bed covered by a shit ton of pillows. Sure, your social life only consisted of your best friend slash roommate Mark Lee and your childhood friend Kang Mina. But you think two friends are more than enough to drain out your social battery. Maybe that’s why you’re graduating on time. Maybe that’s why you’re always on the Dean’s list. Maybe. 
“Alright, so here’s the problem set I want you guys to work on for the next ten minutes. Solve it. Collaborate with your peers. If you’re stuck, just give me a shout and I’ll come over to help.” Jaehyun projects the screen of his laptop. 
“Will our answers be marked?” One of the girls at the front asks.
He nods his head. “Correct. You have to submit your answers to me by the end of this tutorial so that I can mark it as attendance and also as part of your overall fifteen percent in this tutorial.”
Everyone gets started. A guy sitting in front of you turns around to face you. He places his paper onto your desk and clicks his pen. You quirk an eyebrow. “Have you already started?”
You slowly nod your head. “I think I already got the answer. Do you want to double check with me?”
From the corner of your eye, you can see Jaehyun walking around from table to table. He’s sneaking glances at every paper on each desk, nodding his head when he thinks they’re on track and tilting his head when he thinks they still need to go over their answer. When he finally reaches the back of the room, your classmate finds the answer. 
“I got this. What did you get?” Your classmate questions.
You show him your answer and you both compare. Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, you look at the two completely different answers. “I got a completely different answer…”
“Any issues, guys? Stuck?”
You look up from your paper to see Jaehyun. You and your classmate share a look. Your classmate clears his throat. “I actually got a different answer from her.”
Jaehyun bites his lip. “Do you mind if I see what you both did?”
Jaehyun takes your classmate’s handout and scans his work. He quirks an eyebrow before glancing at you. Your eyes meet his and somehow you see a fire ignite in them. He nods at you. “Do you mind if I see what you did?”
“Sure.” You say, handing him your paper.
For a brief moment, if you weren’t overanalyzing it, you swear you felt Jaehyun’s fingers lightly graze yours when he takes your paper. You try to stop yourself from scoffing. He looks at your work, eyes focusing at the top of your paper before scanning from left and right down the paper. He slowly nods his head before giving it back to you.
He nods his head at you. “Y/N’s right.”
“Oh, I guess I have to try again and see if I get the same answer.” Your classmate says sheepishly. “Or Y/N could explain what I did wrong.” 
Jaehyun smiles at you. “Nice job, Y/N. It usually takes undergrads a while to complete a problem set like this. It seems you finished it in no time.”
You glance up at him, flashing him a small, timid smile. “Thanks.”
He looks at you a bit longer than he should before he moves onto the next desk. It’s almost as if he’s trying to communicate to you with his eyes. You tear your gaze away from him, beginning to explain your work to your classmate. Sneaking a quick glance at him, you feel yourself freeze in your seat when you catch him looking back at you. His eyebrows slightly raise, as if he’s been caught red-handed, before turning his head back around to talk to your peers sitting a couple of desks in front of yours. 
Jeong Jaehyun was known throughout the faculty for being a computer science genius. He looked young, charming, and handsome. A young, charming, and handsome genius, the majority would say. They weren’t wrong. It was extremely difficult to be assigned into his tutorial section. It almost felt like a lottery. 
You’d be considered lucky to have computer science genius Jeong Jaehyun as your TA.
But solely not for academic reasons.
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“I think he’s interested in you.”
You let out a snort, looking through the vinyls in the R&B section of the store. Your childhood friend, Kang Mina, is celebrating her birthday back in your hometown and you decided to gift her new vinyls for her LP turntable that you had gifted her for Christmas. Music is your great escape. Listening to music was the only thing you did outside of school. That was why you and Mark became great friends, you both bonded over music. If there was someone who knew music and listened to music best, it would be you. And Mark. Mina was becoming like the both of you.
“He is not interested in me.” You chuckle. “What makes you think that?”
“Jaehyun’s in the same fraternity as me, Y/N. I hope you remember that.” Mark says on the other line.
You roll your eyes. “And how is that related to him being interested in me?”
“If there was someone out of the two of us who knew him more, it would be me. You guys seem to match each other in terms of personality. I think you guys would suit each other, actually. I think he’s interested in you, and in this essay, I will prove—”
“Funny.” You fake a laugh. “Ha ha ha. Wait, how did you know that Jaehyun’s my TA?”
Mark grins. You can hear him grin on the phone. “Because he told me. He knows that we’re roommates.”
“Disgusting.” You mumble. “Ah! I found it.”
“You found what?” 
“Blond. Frank Ocean’s vinyl.” You answer. “This album is always sold out. But when I got an email about the restock, I came running just to get it. This album sells out fast right after restocks.”
“Oh, shit really?”
“Oh, I’m quite lucky today, I should buy myself a lottery ticket!” You exclaim, pulling out the last vinyl of the album they have in stock. “It’s the last one in stock.”
“Oh, that’s funny because—”
“Excuse me, do you happen to have this album in stock?”
You freeze at the familiar voice. Slowly looking over your shoulder, you spot none other than Jaehyun standing a couple of metres from the store entrance, talking to an employee. The employee points in your direction and your eyes widen. You quickly look away, making a beeline for the checkout desk.
“Y/N? You went silent for a second there. Are you okay?”
You almost choke on your spit. You place your vinyl onto the desk and meet eyes with an employee. She smiles at you, looks past your shoulder as if she spots Jaehyun in the store, and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry, I’ll call you back, okay? Hi, yes, I’d like to buy this.”
Jaehyun follows the employee’s direction. The employee points towards the R&B section of the store. “I think we have two left in stock? But it’s been a couple of hours since we opened the store so there might be only one left. You could go over and check, if you’d like.”
Jaehyun smiles. “Thanks. I’ll go check it out.”
He makes it to the R&B section and begins to look through the vinyls. Blond. Frank Ocean. Where is it? It’s been a while since he wanted to get a vinyl for that album. It’s always sold out. He hasn’t been quite lucky getting a copy whenever the stores restock. He finally reaches the O section of the shelf and looks closely for the album. Nothing. It’s sold out again? 
“Are you perhaps looking for Blond?” One of the employees asks. It’s a woman, almost around his age. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 
Jaehyun nods his head. “Yes. Is it still in stock?”
She shakes her head. “Unfortunately, we had just ran out of stock.”
“Ah, that sucks—”
“That’s funny because the customer who took the last copy was just here.” The employee says softly, looking towards the door and gasps. “Oh, there she is. She’s the one who bought the last one we have in stock.”
Jaehyun turns around and looks at the door. A familiar woman is heading out with the vinyl he’s been looking so hard for just to get. His eyes squint and he excuses himself, dashing towards the door. When he steps out of the store, he finds you already a couple of metres away. 
“Y/N?” He calls out.
You almost stop in your tracks when you hear Jaehyun’s voice calling out your name. But you play it off, continuing to walk down the sidewalk as if you didn’t hear him. He doesn’t call out your name a second or third time, and you sigh with relief when you turn a corner. Your phone vibrates.
“Hello? Mark?”
“Y/N, do you mind meeting me at the cafe? I’m on my way. I just finished studying and I’m in need of caffeine.” Mark says. “And you didn’t call me back! I thought something bad happened.”
“Ah, sorry, something came up. I’ll meet you there. Are we going to the usual?” 
He hums in reply. “Yes, at the usual. I’ll see you.”
When you hang up, you turn back around to head to the cafe before bumping into someone. From the sudden impact, it makes you stumble backwards. Looking up, you meet eyes with—
“Frank Ocean’s Blond, huh? Long time no see, Y/N.”
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