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#jaehyun x reader
renatojr · 2 days ago
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jaehyun & doyung fic rec!!
if you’re uncomfortable on some topics then I suggest for you to skip it! :)))
all of the stories are happy ending!!  - probably will do part two for this -
JAEHYUN 
healing (9 chapters series) romance - ceo! au - single dad - smut in some chapters -  IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS, GO READ IT NOW!! HHAHAHAH for sure a super good series by @nctream
binding bonds (11 chapters series) - ANOTHER ceo au! - arranged marriage - slight player jaehyun :)) another worth to read series! by @jaedore
just friends  (this has two parts)  - strangers to lovers -  fluff  - frat boy kinda type  by @ahgase55g7
young - fluff - smut - virgin reader - best friend's litter sister (nothing illegal) by @ithinkilikeit-reactions
only can fate tell - fluff - (side character best friend taeyong x irene) - marriage - slowburn - angst (the best!)by @charmingyong
ordinary people - fluff - slowburn - angst - fake dating - friends to lovers - ceo jaehyun! ~ if you’re looking for more fluff jaehyun (+ mark) stories, visit @ppangjae blog!!! one of my fave writer!
i’m not the only one ( has a second part)  - smut - cheating - mentions of divorce, pregnancy and blood. - angsty ~ if you want to cry then visit @theje0ngs blog!! 
first times - smut - angst - childhood friend/ ceo! jaehyun (dabest) by @moonctzeny
love me or leave me - marriage au - cheating -  (fluff ending) - mentions of sex by @tyongxnct
bad for u -  18+ - unhealthy coping mechanisim - angst - virgin reader - smut - strangers to lovers by @agustdiv1ne
oh baby it’s you - best friends to fwb to lovers - angst - smut - fluff - pregnant sex ~ they are currently on hiatus but @jaehyunfirstlove stories are really amazing!! 
promised - childhood friends to enemies to lovers  - arranged marriage au - 18+ ~ by @doiebunny
memories (there’s also an alternative ending for this one) - angst - fluff by @jenosdaemi
a lover’s fate - smut - ceo au! - ceo! jaehyun x ceo! reader - enemies to lovers - arranged marriage by @jaevelina
Domaine de la Romanée - rich kid au! - smut - angst - slow burn - fluff ( SUPER LONG BUT LET ME TELL YOU, WORTH TO READ!!) by @heartau
blind date - the wedding - fluff I LOVE THIS SM HSOUFHIU by @luvhaos
a ceo jaehyun short fic - suggestive? - fluff - ceo! au THIS IS SUPER CUTE AAAAAH by @j4ehyunluvr
Our Kids Talk About Us ( this has a second part go check it out on their blog!) - single parents au - angst - fluff - romance - smut ~ if you haven’t read their stories please go check out their blog!! @anashins such an amazing writer!!
Sleep well, Princess - six year age gap - angst - drama - fluff - romance - smut  (nothing illegal) 
vacation home - brother’s bestfriend jaehyun - smut by @taeyongsfish
Curiosity killed the cat - roommates to lovers - smut by @sunwoosbunny
forevermore -  best friend to lovers - college au - fluff by @jenoloqy
You’re the One  - smut - fluff - angst - enemies to fwb to lovers - college au by @jaehyunnie77
if we were a movie - childhood friends to lovers - college au - slow burn - angst - fluff 
first times - childhood friend/ceo jaehyun - smut - loss of virginity by @moonctzeny
redamancy - arrange marriage - fluff - angst - smut by @icedcappujaeno
I Hate That I Love You  - enemies to lovers - roommates au - college au - smut - fluff by @jaehyunnie77 
I LIKE ME BETTER ( WHEN I’M WITH YOU) - friend to enemies to lovers - 
college au - smut - friends with benefits - fluff 
adjancent - alternate universe - golden retriever jaehyun - fluff check moreee in their blog!! by @jae-canikeepyou 
no guidance - knocked up - smut ~ check more stories on their blog!! by @yutaholic
i’ll probably post a part two for jaehyun maybe together with some taeyong fics~
DOYOUNG 
before I go - arranged marriage - fluff - angst - smut by @yutaholic
change me - fluff - slight angst - smut by @2jaeh
Be My Distraction - smut - office au! - office workers to lovers -  angst - fluff by @immabiteyou 
soft boyfriend ( has three parts) fluff - little angst - smut by @slightlymore
my soulmate loves wine - soulmate au - fluff - smut - romance 
muse -  fluff - smut - painter au, bridgerton au by @tyonfs
 hardest to love - medical au - surgeon doyoung x surgeon reader - romance - angst - enemies to lovers - smut by @slightlymore
Best friends? - smut with plot by @bl--ankhaeji
lost star - fluff - angst - drama by @endingscenery
To Feel Again - smut by @everlasting-stories
lovefool - established relationship - soft angst to fluff - ceo!doyoung by @kdyism 
first (a three part story) - romantic smut - loss of virginity - established relationship  by @meowniee
crawl to me - ceo!doyoung - suggestive by @icanhearitcallin
here it is!! alsoo go check out their blog, a lot of them write for more nct members!! <33
@candysofthours <33
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lisired · 2 days ago
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WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD | JJH
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MEMBER | jaehyun x (f) reader
GENRE | some pretty angsty stuff, kinda fwb to lovers, a lil fluffy stuff
WARNINGS | implied smut, slow burn, y/n naturally is very scared to be in a relationship with jaehyun, mentions of insecurity
SUMMARY | Three years ago, you had a summer fling with Jung Jaehyun, and what was simply sex turned into more after you caught feelings for him. Then, you find out he has a girlfriend, and decide to call it quits. Three years later, he’s back in town, trying to come back in your life, and most importantly trying to come back into your heart, but you’re a little hesitant to let him.
WORD COUNT | 14.5k
PLAYLIST | The Weekend - SZA | Garden (Say It Like Dat) - SZA | Love Galore - SZA, Travis Scott | Drew Barrymore - SZA | Could’ve Been - H.E.R, Bryson Tiller | I Hate U - SZA | Try Again, Jaehyun
TAGLIST | @bitchenderyy @chitaphrrrr @painted-hills @fluffyjaes @keemburley @queenrachelpink @suhlit @luvjeongjaehyun @chichhihaa @ghostlydolly (cant tag the bold, sorry!)
EXTRA | can yall tell I love SZA? this was originally a series, but i do not have the dedication to write continuously something over such a long period of time and I felt guilty so i turned it into oneshot, so enjoy! + pls leave feedback, I love to hear your thoughts
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“Not fair.”
“It’s very much fair, Jaemin.”
“How come the blueberry head gives you shit on the house? I asked him for a free coffee and he told me the only way I was getting coffee for free was if he splashed it on my face. Very unprofessional. I demand the manager.”
You want to tell him that the manager would just suck up to Taeyong in private because the customer is always wrong, but something in you tells you to be quiet.
“Saved his life,” you shrug, digging a fork into your pie.
“Saved his life?” Jaemin repeats, wide-eyed, “you just said that like it was the most normal thing ever.”
“I don’t think he would have actually died,” you mutter, but decide to tell the tale anyway, “You remember when I told you I was taking a two-week vacation out of town because Yeri invited me and some of her friends to her stepdad’s beach house?” Jaemin nods, “Well Taeyong was one of those friends. Saved him from drowning in the pool, and ever since he thinks he owes me his life, so he gives me a lifetime worth of stuff on the house.”
You consider Jaemin your best friend, although him not physically being with you for the past three years was the reason why he’s unaware of some minor details of your life during those years. Of course, he knew about the vacation—you had so much fun that you told him nearly every damn detail of it—but there were still some things you kept to yourself. Such as how you saved Taeyong from drowning. You thought that you’d look like a praise-seeker for bringing that up anyway.
You scan the room for Taeyong (the blueberry head) and once your eyes find him, you wave and wink. He waves back and smiles bashfully, before tending to one of his customers. You also think that Taeyong might have a little crush on you, but that’s not relevant at the moment.
“Oh wow. I guess not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes wear pie crumbs on their mouths.”
You wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin then squeeze it into a ball to throw at Jaemin, making him gasp dramatically and start rambling about how you shouldn’t treat the best friend you haven’t seen in three years like this, but the chime of the cafe door distracts you. Your face falls in horror, and you’re still as a statue as it all races back. The pain, the memories, the emotions, everything you gave him that you can’t take back.
“I have to go,” you say, but Jaemin grabs your wrist.
His voice is filled to the brim with concern, “What’s wrong?”
Where you do even start? You sigh, ducking your head on the table in an attempt to cover your face the best that you can. The past is intertwining with the present and you do not enjoy it one bit. Fortunately, he sits away from you and doesn’t seem to acknowledge your presence in the room, but it’s just your luck that for the first time you’re seeing him in almost three years, he chooses to show up right here, right now.
“See that guy that just walked in?”
Jaemin nods with reluctance, subtly scanning said guy with his eyes, “Yeah, what about him?”
With a deep breath, you brace yourself for uncovering a part of your past that you’d rather keep ancient history, “Remember that fling I told you about from the vacation? That was him. And I never told you this, but we didn’t exactly end on the best of terms. I called it quits when I found out that he had a girlfriend.”
Another one of the vay-cay details that you kept to yourself. Technically, you did tell him about the fling, but it was nothing too specific aside from the fact that you were getting dicked down. You never told him about the way things abruptly ended, and you sure as hell never told him that you caught feelings for a cheater.
Jaemin’s face falls, and you’re not sure why. You think that he’s offended because you never told him about something so huge (and he is, but the two of you have bigger fish to fry at the moment so he decides it best to complain later).
Eyebrows furrowed, you ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Jaehyun is…” he pauses, and your lips part to ask how he knows his name until, “Jaehyun is my roommate.”
If you had the energy, you would sigh. Of course, Jaehyun also happens to move back in town and ultimately transfer back into your college for the second semester. You had to be a criminal in your past life, what else could you have possibly done to deserve something like this?
Taeyong walks over to your table, wearing a discontent frown, “Jaehyun’s here, do you want me to distract him so that you can leave without him noticing?”
“No way the blueberry head knew about this before me.” Ah, there it goes.
Taeyong glares, but he doesn’t say anything, instead locking his eyes on you to catch your response and his face softens when he does.
“Please,” you sigh in relief, “Thanks Tae, you’re a lifesaver.”
Taeyong smiles at the weight of your words, “It’s the least I could do. Now you two get out of here.”
It isn’t something that you need to be told twice, Taeyong goes to distract Jaehyun and you two bolt the fuck out of there. Though even out of sight, Jaehyun isn’t out of mind. In the beginning you knew it was nothing serious, Jaehyun had other girls that he fucked. But the fact that he was cheating on some poor, innocent girl was more than you could handle, and it would be selfish of you to risk getting caught up in that mess.
For a while, you and Jaemin ride in near silence. It’s your car, but he claims you aren’t in the right headspace to drive and you didn’t argue. You don’t feel the best at the moment.
“Is this a bad time to invite you to my roommate’s Summer Break Kick-off party this Friday,” Jaemin asks over the radio, his voice cutting through the SHINee song playing lowly.
“Kinda,” you snort. “Is he coming?”
“Probably, yeah. I mean, he was invited. But my roommate’s other house is pretty big and it’s been forever since we last partied.”
You blink. Why does your roommate…
“Don’t question it. I don’t know either.”
You fight the urge to laugh. Instead, you weigh out the pros and cons. Technically, you and Jaemin could always find another place to party if you wanted to so badly, and even if the house was big, there’s still a fair chance of you running into the one man you dread ever seeing again. You aren’t too sure if that’s something that you’re ready to risk right now.
You sigh again, pressing your face against the car window. “I’ll think about it.”
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You haven’t stepped foot in a place this expensive-looking since Yeri invited you on that little summer vacation to her stepdad’s beach house (three years ago.)
Jaemin somehow managed to convince you to show up by pinky promising to do a week’s worth of your assignments next semester, and you’d be a fool for turning that offer down. It isn’t clear from the outside, but academically Jaemin is sharp. So now, you’re searching for Jaemin in a sea full of red plastic cups. He was right, the house is humongous, and now you’re really beginning to question why someone with this kind of fortune at their fingertips lives with three presumably broke college students.
At least they’re playing SHINee. That way you can sing along to your favorite boy band while you simultaneously search for your best friend.
It might be harder for him to spot you. You chose to wear something dull, deciding against standing out too much just in case Jaehyun wanted confrontation, so looking for you is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You two could have just spent the night karaoking with Jaemin in your living room just like the good ‘ole days, for heaven’s sake.
Na Jaemin, when I find you, you groan. He doesn’t answer your calls or texts, and just for this you should make him do your homework for two weeks. Three if you bump into Jaehyun. You stop at an empty spot to catch your breath.
“God, what are these guys’ parents? The CEO’s of Samsung?” you mutter, to yourself.
“Aw, so close.”
Not expecting an actual answer, you jump and turn in the direction of the voice. You find a tall, handsome man smiling at you. His teeth are so white that it looks like he eats Colgate for breakfast.
“Kai, I’m the host of the party,” he grins, yet then his expression falters, “do I know you from somewhere?”
“I was thinking the same thing!” You laugh, analyzing his face. He does look a bit familiar.
You tell him your name, and the way he repeats it once more then blinks a few times concerns you a little. It’s not that you have a bad reputation, but did he know you from something bad?
His eyes widen. “You’re Johnny’s ex-girlfriend.”
That, you are. Back in high school you and Johnny dated for some time, broke up after a while since you drifted apart from one another, but agreed to stay friends so you’re both cool. You’re relieved that’s all, but you still don’t remember where you know Kai from, and you’re almost one-hundred percent sure it isn’t high school. You don’t even think you went two to the same high school.
“That’s me,” you confirm with a nod, “I still don’t know where I remember you from, though.”
If this were a cartoon, Kai would have a thought bubble above his head, and moments later it would transform into a lightbulb, “Are you friend’s with Yerim?” he guesses, and you nod, “she’s my step-sister. She probably told you about me.”
Oh. Well now the dots are connecting. Yeri did in fact tell you about him, mentioning that his family is the one her mom married into when explaining how filthily rich she became—because her brand new step-dad is indeed a CEO.
You make an O with your mouth, “Small world.”
“I know, right?” Kai, or as you know him from Yeri (also why you didn’t recognize him immediately), Jongin, laughs, “Care to dance?”
At that, you frown, “I’d love to, but I should really find Jaemin. He’s my best friend and we’re supposed to be spending time together because he just moved back in town recently.”
Kai looks a little sad by the rejection but handles it well, nodding in understanding, “Good luck. Last time I saw him he was over there,” he points, “losing a drinking game.”
That could mean nothing good. That meant wherever he was, Jaemin was more than likely going to be shitfaced by the end of the night. You sigh internally, almost wishing he’d go back to being the shy and introverted boy you knew in high school.
You met Jaemin in your sophomore year, at a party his friends forced him to go to, and you had a couple of mutual friends, but until then you two were nothing more than strangers. Speaking of which, that’s how you bonded, even though it was a fight getting him to say more than five words at a time. You were sure your friends Sicheng and Yuta had a thing for each other, whereas he hadn’t suspected a thing. So you made a bet, and only a couple minutes later, they were found making out against a wall. He owed you 50 bucks.
When Jaemin is still nowhere to be found, you’re ready to cave in to defeat. You feel like you’re in a maze, walking around in circles and it shows in the ache in your feet. You’re about to give up and turn around, until you walk into something, or someone, and all audible to you is the sound of splashing before someone yells shit, I’m sorry!
Oh, you’ll make sure they’re sorry. You’re not sure what you should focus on. How your top is now soaked, or how familiar their voice is. Until you look back up and see a walking, breathing and unfortunately talking, nightmare.
He calls out your name.
Like before, you turn and walk away.
He says it again, louder, and follows you.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Jaehyun.”
Still, he tails behind you like a lost puppy, despite you obviously trying to stay far, far away, “Can’t you hear me out? It’s been three years.”
“Three very peaceful years,” you stop dead in your tracks and finally turn to face him. It hurts you to look at his face, because the memories wash over you like waves, yet you do it anyway. You want to show him that you’re strong without him, not weakness and vulnerability, “and I told you three years ago that I want nothing to do with you.”
Jaehyun’s no good for you, you know that. You know that all he’s ever wanted to do is get inside your pants, that he’s never cared for you. So why are you tempted to hear him out?
No, you refuse, you will not let nostalgia win you over. That’s all it is. You miss what you had, but you don’t know if you miss him as a person.
“At least let me help you dry your shirt, it’s my fault that it’s ruined,” he tries again, but you’re hell-bent on making him feel as miserable as he did you.
“No.”
“Y/n—”
“No means no, Jaehyun,” another voice cuts in, and while it isn’t the one you’ve been looking for, you’re thankful nonetheless. Beside you stands Kai, tall, angry, and intimidating, “you gonna make her tell you to fuck off?”
Jaehyun glances at you, and you see the emotion in his eyes, but you don’t fall for them. Not anymore. He’s already caused your heart to feel enough pain that you can’t bother to try and carry the burden that is his own. So he gives up and walks off, finally leaving you alone.
And you let out an exhausted breath.
“Show’s over, mind your business,” Kai tells the audience you hadn’t even known formed, and not willing to risk going against him, everyone returns to their previous activity. He looks at you, and all the anger is washed with concern. “You okay?”
Are you okay? You don’t know anymore. Nostalgia is kicking your ass, and though you try not to think about him, you can’t help but reminisce.
“Yeah,” you’re not really sure, but you don’t want him to worry, “thanks. A lot.”
“Yeah.” You say, but you’re not too sure. “Thanks. A lot.”
Kai shrugs, “No biggie. Do you think you and Yerim match sizes? You can use the bathroom in my bedroom to change because no one’s dumb enough to go in there.”
You sigh in relief. Chivalry isn’t dead. “Yes. Thank you.”
Kai leads you upstairs to Yeri’s room, or at least the one she stays in when she’s here, and let’s you choose a shirt. It isn’t an easy decision with Yeri being the epitome of fashion, but you pick quickly to spare Kai’s time, even though he tells you that he doesn’t mind. He then takes you to the bathroom in his room because according to him, Yeri’s one is under repair.
Even though Kai is guarding the door with his life and you know he wouldn’t just barge in there without your say-so, you lock the door. You meet your gaze in the mirror, eyeing yourself closely. Everyone is insecure sometimes, but after things ended between you and Jaehyun, you were extremely self-conscious for months.
To anyone who had never been in your shoes, it might’ve made more sense than anything for you to feel better about yourself knowing that even though Jaehyun had a girl, he kept coming back to you. Yet who’s to say you were the only one? To this day, you’re still convinced that the only reason he keeps trying to win you back is because him losing you plus you being the one to end it put a major dent in his ego.
You hate that he had that kind of power over you, to the point where he made you doubt yourself. You hate that a man like him made you cry so many goddamn tears and now he expects you to dry his own.
Reminding yourself that Kai is waiting, you tear your gaze from your own before tears have the chance to spill, and wipe yourself dry so that you can put on your - or Yeri’s - shirt. Now that you think about it, it’s too cute to return. You might take it. She’s too rich to notice, and even if she does, she’s still rich. She can easily replace it.
Kai greets you with a smile as you step back inside his room, and you find yourself smiling back at him. He’s been treating you so kindly this whole time, and now that you think about it, you’ve never heard a single bad thing about the man. Yeri clearly doesn’t mention him very often, but it’s never been anything bad when she does, and even when Jaemin was telling you about his roommates, he described Kai as “the funny one that called his mom a lot.”
“Ready to join the party?”
And then you frown. “I don’t know.”
Kai quirks a brow, “Well don’t tell me you look this good just to not show yourself off.”
Amused, you scoff. Kai’s been smooth from the beginning, yet now he’s unabashedly flirting with you. “Are you flirting with me, Kim Jongin?”
Confusion spells itself out on his face. You have never once said his name tonight, and the one time you do, it’s his government. “How do you know my name?”
“Yeri,” you shrug, “but if you want me to just call you Kai then I understand.”
“Well, usually I reserve my real name for my close friends and family,” he grins, and God he looks devilishly handsome when he does, “but it sounds so nice on your tongue that I’ll make an exception.”
It’s painfully obvious that you don’t know how to react, eyes a little round and your lips parting, yet nothing coming from in between. It makes Jongin laugh.
“And yes, I was flirting with you,” he winks, “but anyways, if you really don’t wanna go back out there, which is totally fine, we can just chill in here. You seem like a nice person, and I’d like to get to know you.”
“Get to know me?” You quip, finding enough balance to play into his game after being knocked down by his charm briefly, “or my body?”
He arches a brow in amusement. “That feels like a trick question.”
You shrug. “Be honest. I might feel the same way.”
Maybe it’s a good thing that tonight didn’t go as planned. Kai’s had you since the moment he introduced himself, and it seems every five minutes he gets better.
“Well, I don’t see why I can’t multitask,” He purrs, taking your words as an invitation. An invitation that he was accepting.
You giggle. He eyes you gently, noticing the way you slowly inch closer to him, “I like you.”
It’s an initiation, turning the keys and putting the car in drive, and you want to see if Jongin will take the wheel. And it seems that to your fortune, he does.
“Guess it’s a good thing I like you, too.” Jongin chuckles, and he’s so close. You can feel his breath on your skin, tickling your neck, and it makes something in you crawl with arousal.
And the gap between you closes.
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You already liked Kai last night, but you definitely like him this morning.
You woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and not just any kind of pancakes, but chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. If anything can make you like someone, it’s chocolate chip pancakes.
“How’d you know chocolate chip was my fave?” you giggle, not expecting a serious response, but after the whole scenario with him yesterday, you should have already known he would have one.
“Yerim’s told me about you, too, you know,” Jongin replies, “It wasn’t even too long ago, it was winter break. We were all staying at my dad’s house for a couple of days, and she invited you over one morning. Everyone was gone but me and her when I went downstairs, and I saw her making chocolate chip pancakes. It blew me, because she’s an avid hater of chocolate. Then she told me they were for her best friend, because you love them, and after last night I learned that the best friend in question happened to be you.”
You and Jongin learned a lot about one another last evening. After you had sex, you didn’t expect to hit it off like you did, yet you spent a great deal of the night talking on his silk sheets. For starters, he’s a wonderful man. Funny, polite, respectful, thoughtful, caring, and he has an amazing personality. The sole flaw you could find in him was that he likes Hawaiian pizza. What kind of sick person enjoys Hawaiian pizza?
And you fell asleep in his arms. It was perfect, almost too good to be true. You considered the possibility of a relationship with him, you enjoyed his company and he was shameless to admit that he enjoyed yours. And yet still, you couldn’t help but think of Jaehyun.
The way he had also made you feel the same way, all those years ago. How he never fucked you and then shoved you away, but he talked to you until the sun came up, or spooned you to sleep. It was ridiculous, and you can’t believe that one encounter with Jaehyun had you acting like a teenager in love for the first time again. Not to mention the encounter in question was horrible. Jaehyun isn’t good for you, but for some reason your heart seems to still want him.
“If you wanna know so bad, just ask.”
“What?” Kai blinks, unaware that you’ve noticed the way he looks at you, not just now but ever since that encounter with Jaehyun. The longing in his eyes to say something, yet he resisted.
“I know you’re curious about me and Jaehyun,” truth be told, it isn’t just for him, but for you. Maybe if you remind yourself of what Jaehyun’s done to you, hear it aloud, you’ll snap out of it and shake this weird feeling. “So go ahead. Ask.”
Jongin’s surprised at how well you read him, and you can only hope that he doesn’t read you just as well.
“I figured you didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” How utterly Kai of him. And honestly, he’s right. You don’t want to, but at this point it’s a need.
“It’s okay,” you assure.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s okay, you know. I understa—”
“Kim Jongin,” you say, and he pauses, a part of being because he still hasn’t gotten used to you calling him by his government name, yet he loves it when you do, “I am not about to beg you to ask me. I promise you, it’s alright.”
Jongin hesitates, but gives in reluctantly, “Okay, so… what happened for Jaehyun to be so intent on talking to you last night? Break-up?”
“Not really,” you say, trying to keep your voice level and flat. You weren’t the girl Jaehyun was in a relationship with, “It wasn’t a romantic relationship. Just sex, no strings attached.”
Jongin nods, “Ah, so a fling?”
“Mm-hm. I met him when Yeri invited her best friends to your dad’s beach house for a fun summer vacation during break. We hit it off well and it wasn’t much longer that he had me in his sheets. It really was fun, so we agreed to keep fucking around. And then some months later, I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.”
He makes an understanding face, familiar with Yeri’s Pal-Cations (as she likes to call them.)
“Yerim didn’t tell you he was dating someone?”
“No one knew about us. He wanted to keep things secret,” you chuckle softly, “and that’s when I found out why.”
Silence falls over Jongin, and you sit there and let him ponder. Being able to say it all like this makes it seem so simple, and perhaps it should be. Jaehyun fucked up, and you owe him nothing. If he broke up with his girlfriend, maybe things would have been different, but he didn’t and that’s why he should leave you alone.
“Do you think he’s changed?” You shouldn’t ask. It doesn’t matter what Kai thinks, he doesn’t know Jaehyun like you do and he hasn’t known him for nearly as long. His opinion doesn’t matter.
Kai blinks. “I mean, you know what they say. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
“But I’m asking for your opinion.”
You’ve never seen Kai so speechless. He’s always had something on the tip of his tongue, always. That’s when you consider that you’re probably dumping a shit ton of unwarranted info on him, especially since you had to practically coerce him into even asking you about Jaehyun. Before you have the chance to apologize, he answers.
“I don’t know him nearly as well as you probably do, but from what I’ve seen in the past 2 weeks, he’s nothing like some stupid, immature fuck boy. He carries himself well, cracks his jokes but he’s respectful and doesn’t push his limits, and I’ve never seen him with a girl,” Jongin says. “Come to think of it, he’s single. The boys discussed our dating situations and relationship statuses just so that we wouldn’t be surprised if we got up in the middle of the night and saw some stranger. Said he was single and wasn’t looking for sex.”
And you sigh in defeat, because the only thing that’s changed about Jaehyun according to that description is that he’s apparently single now and isn’t looking for sex.
Or maybe he was some stupid, immature fuckboy. You don’t know. And ever since you found out about her, you haven’t been sure if you’ve ever known him like you thought you did. You haven’t been sure about anything.
“Do you want him back?”
The questions catchs you off-guard. It isn’t exactly new, but you’ve never had anyone ask you this other than yourself. It’s all that you can think about. Do you really want him back? Or do you just miss what you had? What if it’s both?
“I don’t know,” you answer. And trust, you’ve been thinking about it since that whole ordeal at the cafe Monday. Even if you do, you shouldn’t. You don’t know Jaehyun’s motive, and there are plenty of other guys that can provide you everything he was giving you. One is literally looking you dead in the eye. He’s replaceable, you tell yourself. You don’t need him.
But that sure as hell has nothing to do with you wanting him.
“You don’t know?” Kai lifts his brow, “Or are you simply in denial?”
You feel like he’s your therapist, and the thought almost makes you laugh. Everything reminds you of Jaehyun. How sometimes, you’d play therapist for each other after you had sex, either directly afterwards or in the morning like now. It was so much more than sex, you think. To you, anyways. And that’s likely how you caught feelings.
Oh, dear god.
Even after three years, maybe those feelings you had for him still linger.
“I realized something,” you really don’t have to say anything, it’s written all over your face.
Jongin makes the conclusion, “You want him.”
Slowly, you nod. You think that you shouldn’t, but you do, and Jongin was right about you being in denial. You guess he really does read you just as well as you do him.
“I’m not gonna sit here and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do because it’s your choice to make at the end of the day, but let’s take everything into account,” Jongin starts, voice sterner than it’s been all morning, “I’m not saying age is an excuse, but he was eighteen. All eighteen-year-old boys are stupid. Take it from someone who’s been there. But he’s twenty-one now, and it’s been years. That’s plenty enough time for him to grow and change.”
You nod along. That’s true, and while you could never be too careful because who’s to say he’s changed, who’s to say he hasn’t?
Kai adds, “If you want to take the risk, take it. If you don’t, then don’t. He made an inexcusable mistake. But he’s human, and all humans make mistakes. You don’t owe him anything, especially not forgiveness, but be a little open-minded.”
The decision is yours. You can hear Jaehyun out and try to salvage your relationship, or you can continue to shut him out. You don’t owe him a second chance, but god, you must admit that you’ve always secretly longed to give him one, just so that you could go back to what you had.
Whenever you contemplate giving him a second chance, you think about her. You try to put yourself in her shoes, wondering how she must’ve felt, if she ever knew that the man she loved was fucking around with another woman. Maybe that’s how they broke up. Days ago, the thought would have made you run further and further away from him. But now, it’s almost like you’re rooted in place, bumping into dead-ends.
If you were her, you’d be unforgiving. But you’re not her, you never will be her, and that makes you want to be a little more selfish.
That makes you want him.
“Thanks, Kai,” you say, truly grateful to have his unbiased opinion. Usually you wouldn’t trust people you met less than twenty-four hours ago with your personal business, but all the shit you and Kai exchanged last night makes you willing to permit an exception. And then, you feel bad because even after the kind things he’s done for you since last night, he’s still sitting here advising you on your complicated you-problems. “And I’m so sorry for dumping all my problems on you, you’ve been so sweet and the least I could do—”
“Hey, no worries. If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Kai interjects, “and if you want me to do a bit of snooping around…”
You shake your head. “No way. You’ve already done enough for me, and I don’t want you to get caught up in my drama. I can handle it.”
“Sure, you can. But I don’t want a girl like you to wind up heartbroken, especially over a possible jackass, and at very least you should see if you can trust him before you, well, trust him,” As though he can sense you about to object, he adds, “No buts. I’m going to keep a few tabs on him and alert you if there’s anything suspicious.”
You sigh, and don’t argue because it’s obvious he isn’t changing his mind. You’re grateful.
You smile. “Thank you.”
“Of course. And if he breaks your heart, I’m here.”
You scoff, “Flirting with me again, Kim Jongin?”
“Oh, baby,” he growls, “Keep saying my name like that and I’ll make you forget he ever existed.”
Ten minutes ago, that would have been tempting. But now you know what you want, and you’re determined to have it.
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Yeri thinks it’s a bad idea.
Taeyong thinks it’s a terrible idea.
Jaemin thinks you’ve had better ideas, but he’s willing to cooperate nonetheless.
“I don’t get it,” Taeyong shakes his head, “That guy broke your heart.”
“He wasn’t trying to,” you mutter.
“And he still did, that’s the crazy part.”
“It was three years ago. To be fair, all of us were stupid at eighteen.”
“Not all of us were cheating on our partners with a girl we met on summer break, though,” Taeyong quips, incredulous that he’s even having this discussion with you. You’ve always been on the same page, what changed?
You groan, “God, Taeyong. Sure, he cheated. Duh, he was in the wrong. But it wasn’t me that he cheated on and it’s not like we were ever in a relationship. He couldn’t have known how I felt about him when I did everything in my power to hide my feelings. And what if he’s changed?”
“And what if he hasn’t?” Taeyong retorts quickly.
The silence in the room is deadly. Taeyong can’t believe that he’s having to talk some sense into you, all while your other two friends sit quietly observing your argument. Is he the only one thinking around here? Why aren’t they helping?
Then, Yeri speaks up from the other side of the room, “Instead of arguing, let’s just put Jaehyun to the test.”
“And how do you plan on going about that?” Taeyong grumbles.
“Letting her talk to him, dimwit, how else?” Yeri rolls her eyes, “I know that you probably think that allowing him within a ten-foot radius of her is going to break her heart, but you’re greatly underestimating my best friend’s strength. She isn’t stupid, she can identify red flags.”
“Ease up on the fighting words,” Jaemin chuckles, “but I dunno, Yeri’s right. The only way she’ll know if he’s changed is to see for herself. If she notices anything odd, she can give him the boot. It’s not rocket science.”
You glance at Taeyong. Truthfully, you don’t need his permission, and both of you know that. But it would be nice to feel validated by your best friends, especially the overprotective one.
Taeyong glances back at you, and his expression softens. He’s always had a soft spot for you, and it’s hard to tell you no. Plus, he doesn’t want to be the token villain when everyone else is telling you to go for it. To chase what you want.
And in all honesty, Taeyong wishes he could chase what he wants. But the last thing he is is selfish, so maybe now is the time he lets you go.
Finally, he groans, “Alright, fine. Whatever. Talk to Jaehyun, see if he’s really ready to commit. But if this guy breaks your heart, I’m going to quote-unquote accidentally spill the hottest coffee on his face, just to give him a taste of the fire that is hell, where he will burn for eternity.”
Jaemin shivers, having flashbacks to the first time he spoke to Taeyong, “You love a good coffee threat, don’t you? So many fighting words.”
Taeyong doesn’t reply, just glares at Jaemin sharply.
“Hostile, but I’m with him,” Yeri nods, “Mark my words, that man will die a slow, painful death if he makes one more mistake.”
“Yep!” Jaemin agrees, “Don’t worry, babes. We got your back.”
At that, you smile. Your friends are on your side. Now, here comes the real trouble.
Mustering the ability to talk to Jaehyun.
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Fortunately, Yerim’s annual Pal-Cation was right around the corner, and would extend until the end of the week.
Last two years, Jaehyun didn’t attend.
Correction: he wasn’t invited.
Yeri and Jaehyun haven’t been on amazing terms since she became aware of everything, which put a dent in their relationship. This year, she’s invited him in favor of playing Cupid.
You’re a little nervous, anxious about being in the same space as Jaehyun for more than three minutes after all these years. You’re scared and you’re not sure of what, because if Jaehyun’s really as changed as he implies he is, the result should be predictable.
Then again, you don’t really know Jaehyun’s reason for wanting to talk to you, and that makes you all the more panicked. Of course, he wants you to hear him out, but what does he want to come out of that? A second chance? At what? To you, your relationship was so much more than sex. But what if it wasn’t to him? What if he just wants to get inside your pants?
“Girl, please,” Jaemin scoffs, crashing against your hotel bed like he owns the place. He’s in comfortable awe, and probably wouldn’t think twice if someone told him the beds were made out of marshmallows, “you were defending his life choices like yesterday—god damn, these beds are soft—and now you’re having second thoughts? Since when do you back down from things?”
You throw a pillow at him, “I was not defending him!”
“I talked to him earlier, when he asked me if I was sure about wanting him here,” Yeri states, sitting on the seat in front of the mirror. “Told him that there’s no way in hell he’d be here right now if I didn’t want him to be. He laughed and promised me he wouldn’t do anything stupid, and I told him know, because if he does do something stupid it’s off with his motherfuckin’ head.”
Jaemin smiles, satisfied, “Yeah, that should do it. I’d be scared half to death, you could probably pay someone to kill him and no one would suspect a thing.”
“Enough about killing him,” you grimace, “I’m just, I dunno, nervous, I guess. What if he just wants to get in my pants?”
“Guess you better go find out, and tonight is the perfect opportunity. I reserved the pool, so we have the entire area to ourselves until midnight.”
“Yeah, and that wouldn’t be so bad anyways. When was the last time you got laid?” Jaemin adds.
You sneer and flip him off, “For your information, I got laid at that party Friday night when you left me for dead to go get drunk. And that’s why your ass was hungover. And Yeri, you never told me that your step-brother was so fucking hot.”
Yeri exclaims, “You slept with Jongin?”
“You slept with her brother?”
And that’s where you conclude that you’ve overshared, and it’s time for everyone to have some time to themselves, “Alright, everybody out,” you push and pull them both out, until they’re standing outside your door, “I’ll see you guys tonight.”
Then you shut the door, and lie on your bed, sighing with comfort. Jaemin’s right, the beds really are comfortable. You’re feeling drowsy already and decide to rest your eyes. There’s hours until it’s Pool Time.
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Pool Time comes faster than you wished.
You’re antsy, but Yeri has SHINee’s Punch Drunk Love playing, so you feel more at ease. It also serves as a reminder that you’re going to need a drink or two to get through the night.
It doesn’t help that you had a dream about Jaehyun while you were trying to rest your eyes, about the night when you first met him. You were at Yeri’s step-father’s beach house, and the dream was specifically when you made out in the middle of the pool. I’d never let you drown, baby. You shake the memory away.
You glance around, and see everyone’s here. Yeri’s talking to her friend Mark who obviously has a crush on her, Jaemin’s engaging in conversation with Taeyong who for once doesn’t look like he wants to rip Jaemin’s head off, Yeri’s other friends are playing in the pool, and—Jaehyun.
Jaehyun’s seated at the bar, looking dead at you, which is exactly where you need to be but your lunch and your stomach seem to not be getting along suddenly. You tear your gaze, and glance back at Yeri. You need her help, one last push or words of encouragement, but you’re not selfish enough to interrupt Mark’s attempts at flirting with your friend and getting some.
Well fuck, you groan. You’re all alone this time, and deciding you look stupid standing there by yourself, you march to the bar and hoist yourself on the stool beside Jaehyun, ignoring the increasing speed of your heartbeat. It doesn’t help that this place only has two barstools.
“What can I get you, sweetheart?” The bartender asks you. She’s pretty, got long dark hair and a nice face. You wonder if Jaehyun flirting with her is the reason she’s been smiling so hard since before you sat down, trying to stifle a giggle.
And you frown at your own thoughts. Leave it to you to automatically assume the worst.
“No idea. Surprise me,” you sigh, and with a nod she gets to work.
It’s difficult, more like impossible to ignore Jaehyun’s presence beside you. He isn’t saying anything, isn’t doing anything as far as you can tell without looking at him, but the knowledge that he’s there has you on your toes.
The bartender brings back your drink, tells you to enjoy and you say thank you before having a taste. You need this before you dare say a word to him.
And then he dare speaks, “Hi.”
You can feel your heart racing and you don’t know why, but you do know that you don’t like it. There’s no reason to feel like this, you heard Jaehyun talk at the party. You somehow manage to chirp back quietly, “Hi.”
“Aren’t you gonna look at me?”
It feels like he’s challenging you, almost to say you’re too much of a pussy to look him dead in the face, and you know you’re more than likely making that up but Jaehyun’s the first person to know that you’re last person to back down from a challenge, so you do turn to look at him.
It takes everything in you to stay rational when you do. You get the chance to look at him, to really look at him, and you’re taken aback by his features. He looks the same, but different all at once, obviously a little older.
Beside you is no longer the teenage boy with the cute, high-pitched voice, but a man with a deep and matured sound to his voice. He’s smiling a little wildly at you. It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in years.
You take a sip from your drink so that you don’t smile back and say, “I’m looking.”
“See something you like?”
“Nope,” you lie, as though you weren’t obvious checking him out seconds ago, “just you.”
“Aww, don’t be like that,” Jaehyun grins playfully, “smile a little, won’t you?”
“Let’s cut to the chase, Jaehyun,” you change the subject. You refuse to let his little games work on you. “Didn’t you want me to hear you out? Hop to it or I’m leaving.”
He blinks. “Here?”
Well no one can hear you other than the bartender, but it’s a personal issue that deserves the utmost privacy and it’s not like you’re willing to share your personal business with a stranger, so you agree to walk around the pool with him. Close enough so that you’re not bumping into walls, distant enough to not be overheard.
You glance at him, “So?”
Jaehyun sighs, “Rather than defending myself, I think I should apologize. For not telling you I was in a relationship, for risking dragging you into drama, it was selfish. I was selfish.”
It was selfish. He couldn’t have been thinking of your feelings, or even her feelings.
“There’s no excuse for what I did, and I can’t imagine how belittled it made you feel. You don’t have to forgive me, and I know you’re probably gonna hate me forever for this and I don’t blame you. But I want you to know that I’m sorry,” he gives you those emotional eyes, the same dejected gleam in them, “Sincerely. And if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…”
“Tell me why,” you want the answers that you’ve been searching for all these years. Not exactly closure, but you don’t want to live in doubt, wondering maybe you were never enough, and that’s why you were always the side piece.
“Why I did it?”
You nod, and he’s silent for a moment.
“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know why eighteen-year-old me did the shit I did, but I know that I did it and I can’t take it back. I’ve looked back so many times and I still can’t fathom…” Jaehyun trails off, then starts shaking his head, “you know what? Maybe I do know why.”
Don’t cry, you tell yourself. You’re stronger than this. You’re blinking back tears, attempting to keep your voice level as you whisper, “Why then, Jaehyun?”
“It’s not the shocking, life-changing reason I always thought it would be,” he chuckles sadly, “it’s because I was stupid. And careless. I wasn’t thinking, but at the same time I thought I had the world at my feet, and I guess I did but then I…” Jaehyun stops to take a breath after he realizes he’s rambling. “But then I lost you. And that’s when I realized that this, the lying, the cheating, the going behind your backs—it was stupid.”
“It was stupid,” you agree, and he laughs a little more. “But let me ask you one more thing…” you say. He doesn’t reply, but his eyes tell you to go ahead. “Did you love her?” Or did you love me?
Jaehyun nods lazily. “At one point.”
You bite your lip, unsatisfied.
“Did you love me?”
That catches him off-guard. You almost expect him to stop walking the way he’s frozen, and you feel your stomach churning in regret.
“Nevermind, forget I asked that—”
“When you first left, I was unaffected,” Jaehyun interjects. “Like I said, I thought I had the world at my feet, so I thought you were replaceable. I tried replacing you. But it wasn’t the same, no matter how many times I tried, it was never, ever the same,” his eyes muse at you, “No one looked at me the way you did, no one talked to me all night and made me laugh like you did, no one ran circles through my mind like you, no one was like you. So I knew I needed you back, but by the time I realized you were already gone. And that’s when I knew I had fucked up.”
He adds, “So, yeah. I did love you. Maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it was too late for me to love you, maybe I wasn’t supposed to, but I did and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped.”
Jaehyun’s thumb runs over your eyes, wiping a string of tears that you hadn’t even know you cried. He doesn’t say anything about it, just pulls you closer to his chest.
“What about you?” He asks.
“What about me?”
“Did you love me?”
Now it’s your turn to freeze, and then you almost laugh. Of course, you loved him. You were in love with him. Hopelessly.
“Can I be honest?”
Jaehyun nods. “Mm-hm. That’s what this is all about, right?”
You exhale a sharp breath, preparing to tell one of your deepest, darkest secrets to the one person that was never supposed to know, “When I told you the reason I wanted to end things was because of you cheating on her, that wasn’t the whole truth. It was part of it, and though I’m no homewrecker, there’s another reason. I was in love with you—hopelessly, helplessly, utterly—and I couldn’t stand the thought that you never felt the same, that I was just a plaything to you.”
“Y/n—”
“Let me finish,” you order, “I left to take care of me. I thought it would have been disrespectful towards myself to stay in that position, when from my understanding, I loved you yet you loved her,” you feel another trail of tears coming, and wipe them away before they have the chance to spill. “At that moment, when I found out you already had someone, I felt like I didn’t know you anymore. I thought that maybe you never really cared, and I was the only one that felt it.”
It, the love. The spark. The connection. The butterflies in your stomach when he held you close, or called you cute pet names. The emotion whenever he was deep inside you.
“It felt like I had given my heart to a stranger,” you laugh humorlessly, “because for all I knew, who’s to say I was the only one you were fucking behind her back? I felt so, so stupid. Like I was never enough. And when I first saw your face again after all these years, all of that hurt came back. But at the same time,” you look him in his eyes, “all my feelings for you came back, too.”
It’s silent for a moment, but it isn’t awkward. You’ve just confessed your feelings for one another, not only now, but for the you of two years ago. For the you of eighteen who never thought you’d ever have this chance.
And you can’t believe Jaehyun’s actually had feelings for you, too. It always seemed like some fairytale thing, but hearing one another out like responsible adults instead of immature teens changes things.
“Wow,” Jaehyun whispers in surprise, “Wow. I was such a fool. I made a simple thing so fucking complicated. Imagine where we’d be if I would have just broken up with her and realized my feelings sooner.”
Together. You’d be together, as one.
“Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, didn’t,” you say lightheartedly, “There’s no use in worrying about that. You’ve apologized. And I forgive you.”
“You forgive me?” Jaehyun gawks. “Why? I thought you’d hate me forever or something.”
“I kinda still hate the you of two years ago, he’s an asshole,” you giggle, “but the you standing next to me right now, today, is a changed man who knows his mistake and won’t do that shit ever a-fucking-gain. Or else.”
Jaehyun snorts. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dare.”
You smile, “Good.”
“Good. So do we address our relationship too, or…”
“Later, please,” you groan. “Come sit by the water with me.”
Jaehyun agrees, and so now you’re sitting at the edge of the pool, your head resting on his shoulder.
“Is SHINee still your favorite band?” He asks.
“Yeah,” you mumble, heart warming at the fact that he even still remembers that.
Then he teases, “Do you still swoon over Lee Taemin?”
You give him a very, very icy glare, “Shut up. I’ll push you into the pool right now.”
“You wouldn’t,” Jaehyun challenges.
Wrong move, you smirk. You love a challenge.
So in one swift movement, you do push him into the pool, and the sound of him yelling and the water splashing is like music to your ears. You giggle, watching as he comes back up, hair heavy and soaked as it sticks to him like a second skin. You also take notice of his white t-shirt, or his abs through the soaked cotton. Six pack. Toned. Stupid dumb crazy hot. Damn, sometimes you forget why you kept coming back to him.
He sneers, unamused. “Not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” you disagree with a smile.
“Oh yeah?” he says, “Look, Lee Taemin!”
You turn without fully processing his statement yet, “Wha—agh!”
In an even swifter motion, Jaehyun’s pulled your ankles, and now a distracted you falls into the pool with a splash. Not to mention, your bikini cover-up is still on. This, unfortunately, is karma. Inconvenience aside, you’re getting deja vu, a distant memory seeping back into your mind.
You whine, “Not fair.”
“It’s a little fair,” he mocks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.
“You’re lucky I know how to swim,” you wring out your hair, “You would have had an lawsuit against you if I didn’t.”
You wonder if he’s taken the hint, if he’s gonna say it. You remember that exact moment, being so close to his face and feeling so warm. I’d never let you drown, baby.
And like a rehearsed line, he says perfectly, “I’d never let you drown, baby.”
“You remember.” Your tone is like a question, but it’s a statement.
“I remember a lot of things about you,” Jaehyun states, and perfectly timed, the current song fades into your all-time personal favorite—SHINee’s 1 of 1. “For instance, is this still your favorite SHINee song?”
One glance in Yeri’s direction confirms your suspicion that this is all her doing, as you see her giggling at you, phone in hand. It was already suspicious of her to play SHINee when she’s an Ariana Grande girl, but now you definitely see through her crystal-clear intentions.
“Yeah,” you mutter, but as you turn back around you notice he’s definitely close enough to hear you. Your noses are almost touching, and you can feel your heart racing. You feel like a teenager in love all over again, blood pumping, your heart beating in your ears. Deja vu.
Jaehyun must be feeling it too, because he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
Yet again, you blush. “Sure.”
And on cue, his lips are against yours. Jaehyun’s still an amazing kisser, he feels gentle yet he’s so fierce, gripping your waist as your fingers tangle in his hair. You know for a fact he’d be even rougher if you weren’t inside of a pool.
His lips feel better than you remember, and then he bites your lip. You moan, lips parting and he darts his tongue in your mouth. You can taste his drink on his tongue, faint remnants of whatever he had in his cup.
Fuck, you forgot how high kissing him makes you feel. It’s like an addictive drug, and you can feel nothing but your heartbeat and his lips on yours. You don’t want him to stop.
And then, to your misfortune, he does stop. You whimper, not really taking notice of how out of breath you are as you’re overcome with greed.
“Why’d you stop?” You frown.
“You need to breathe, babe. You wanna almost drown in the pool like Taeyong?” He laughs.
Speaking of Taeyong, you check on him with your eyes. To your surprise, he’s still talking and laughing with Jaemin, the pair obviously hitting it off and super into one another. It makes you smile. That boy’s had a huge crush on you that you both know you can’t reciprocate for years, and it’s time he lets you go.
“Hello… Earth to y/n? You look like the cute puppy eyes emoji.”
Your eyes snap at Jaehyun, “Shut up,” you reply, “And kiss me.”
“Bossy,” Jaehyun teases, but he must like that about you, because moments later he’s kissing you again, even more passionately than before.
Then, follows Tuesday.
“Oh, c’mon!”
Yeri giggles, “Sorry, y/n. The majority rules!”
For the second day of your California vacation, Yeri’s decided to take everyone to an amusement park an hour out from the hotel. You asked her why she didn’t do Disney Land this year, but she said it was reserved for her first Bae-Cation.
You roll your eyes. What happened to chicks over dicks?
The point is, you wanted to separate into groups, considering it would be easier to keep up with everyone. However, everyone else wanted to do pairs, arguing that there was more freedom and it’d be easier to come towards a mutual decision instead of arguing over what to ride.
So everyone grabs their partners, and you’re shocked when you see Jaemin and Taeyong step beside one another. You’re incredulous. Jaemin’s just been abandoning you left and right ever since he came back.
“You two in love or some shit now?” You fold your arms, eyes pointing at them accusingly. “What happened to those coffee threats, Yong? I thought you said Jaem was annoying. And Jaemin? You said he was scary!”
Jaemin shrugs coolly. “He was, but then I realized something. Taeyong’s like an egg, he has a hard shell—” Taeyong glares, “—nevermind, he doesn’t like that comparison very much. Taeyong’s like a smore, hard on the outside yet warm and soft on the inside. Oh, and very deli—ow!”
Jaemin holds his stomach dramatically, looking at Taeyong who stands with a satisfied grin on his face. Perhaps, Taeyong still is a little scary.
“Jaem! Yong!”
“Ooh, that reminds me,” Jaemin eyes twinkle, “I think our ship name should be Jaeyong.”
Taeyong disagrees, “No way. It should be Taemin.”
“First of all, you two will never be Taemin,” you interject with a scowl. “Anyways, you two figure that out. I’ll go be with my partner.”
And you stomp away to spot Jaehyun waiting for you with a cheeky grin. You’re optionless, you suppose. Yeri’s with Mark again, Taeyong and Jaemin are obviously a thing now, Seulgi’s with Winter and Jennie’s with Nayeon.
It’s not even like last night ended poorly. Last night couldn’t have been better, you spent your time making out and drinking with Jaehyun in the pool until midnight. It was too good to be true, you felt like Cinderella, having to slip back into her normal life by the time the clock struck twelve.
Now though, you have to be alone with Jaehyun. Okay technically, you’ll be surrounded by hundreds of people, and depending on where you go your friends may or may not be accompanying you, though still. It isn’t that you don’t trust him, but isn’t it natural to feel uneasy?
Jaehyun calls, “C’mon, princess! Let’s go get hotdogs. I’m hungry.”
“We ate at the hotel,” you snort.
“So? That was an hour ago. Plus the time it took for us to get through that crazy ass line. If you’re not hungry, I’ll buy you a lemonade or something.”
A lemonade does sound good, you ponder. It’s summertime, and no amount of sunglasses and mosquito-repellent sunscreen is going to help you beat this heat. It’s ninety-something degrees.
“Fine,” you give in, and an eternity later (curse these never-ending lines) you’re sitting down at a bench, you sipping on your humongous cup of lemonade and Jaehyun eating a hotdog.
To be honest, you really didn’t need the largest size that they had. You were just testing his reaction for the fun of it, expecting to have a giggle or two, but he totally surprised you, buying it and insisting you should have it even after you told him that you were just playing.
The Jaehyun you knew three years ago was many things, and rich was not one of them.
“Let’s talk,” he says after discarding his hotdog in the bin. Oh of course, Jaehyun’s brain cannot function when he’s running low on food.
Playing dumb, you ask, “About what?”
“Us,” he answers simply.
“In the middle of an amusement park?”
“It’s important,” Jaehyun grins, “You don’t trust me.”
Perplexity is written all over your face. You trust Jaehyun on the basic level, you feel safe around him and in his embrace. But you’re not sure if you trust him with your heart just yet, and after everything he did, you have the right to be scared.
“And I understand why. I hurt you once, you’re scared I might do it again. So let’s start over,” he concludes, and you blink. “From scratch. Past aside. I want you to get to know me, and I wanna get to know you. I’m sure there’s plenty of things I don’t know about you now.”
I mean, you know the gist. You didn’t say that aloud, of course. Through a discussion last night, he still knows your favorite color and your undying love for pie and SHINee, especially Taemin, your birthday, your mom’s birthday, even your dog’s birthday—okay, maybe he knows too much. Or you overshared. Who knows.
And you still remember a lot of facts about him, but at the same time, there’s still so much you don’t know about one another.
“Right,” you agree, “So by starting over, you mean…”
“Completely,” he answers quick. “Let’s re-introduce ourselves.”
Your lips don’t quiver, drawn into a line. “You gotta be kidding.”
“I’m serious!” Jaehyun claims. “C’mon, I’ll even go first.”
“Jaehyun—”
“Aht, aht! You’re not supposed to know my name,” Jaehyun chides. “Hi, my name’s Jaehyun, I’m twenty-one, and I like Cigarettes After Sex. The band, I mean. I don’t smoke.”
You roll your eyes. There was no need for him to explain, because literally everybody knows Jaehyun likes Cigarettes After Sex, the same way everyone knows you like SHINee. But for the sake of placating him and getting this over with, you refuse to make any comments.
“This is so corny.”
“The longer you wait the longer it takes.”
Reluctantly you give in, but not without a groan. “Hi, Jaehyun. My name’s y/n, I’m also twenty-one, and I like SHINee.”
Jaehyun claps dramatically, “Bravo! Was that so hard?”
“Yes, actually.”
He giggles, tells you to stop being dramatic and you two begin your mission to ride every ride that you can within the span of a few hours. You get more snacks in between, sharing a container of butter-y delicious popcorn and double-dating some rides with the other pairs (which unfortunately happens to lead to you witnessing Mark throwing up in a bush.)
Unfortunately, time flies by fast when you’re having fun, and when Yeri texts the Pal-Cation Pals group chat to meet up by the first popcorn stand in fifteen minutes, you know you have little time remaining, enough for one last ride.
The Ferris Wheel.
Last but not least, the Ferris Wheel. You and Jaehyun have been saving it for last, agreeing the full experience is at dark night, when the colorful lights illuminate the indigo sky.
“Let’s go!” You pull him into a cart, and he laughs at your enthusiasm.
When the ride starts, Jaehyun holds your hand and you rest your head on his shoulder. It feels nice and comfortable, and you quickly realize you miss having him like this. Close to you. And it’s silent for a moment. You and Jaehyun have always had these moments together, where you’re not talking one another’s ears off, but holding each other in warm silence. You have always valued the other’s company.
You watch as the world gets smaller underneath your feet, how the Ferris wheel lights twinkle in vibrant colors, and shine on its surroundings. You see how the other rides glow in the dark, appearing so close yet so far away.
It’s beautiful. Your eyes flare different colors—red, blue, pink, green—as you gawk in wonder. If you could, you’d stay like this forever, watching this astonishing sight with Jaehyun at your side.
“You look pretty in the light,” Jaehyun marvels, snapping you out of your daze. The butterflies and their flapping wings come back, and he’s always been able to make you feel like this so easily.
Warmth fills your cheeks, and you turn around so that he doesn’t notice. “Don’t I always? Or are you saying I only look pretty in the light?”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “You’re still impossible. I’m trying to flirt with you.”
“Then do so,” you smile. “Keep telling me about how pretty I am.”
“Look at me,” Jaehyun whispers, but it’s loud and clear to you. Slowly, you do look at him, noticing the way his lips curl into a soft grin, and how the purple light casts on his gorgeous skin and features. “Your lips are pretty, too.”
Next, he’ll call your bones pretty and you’ll still feel your face flush with heat.
Jaehyun kissed you for hours last night, but when his lips collide with yours again you know that you’ll never get used to the feeling. Your fingers card through his hair while his gravitate towards your skin, cold hands sending a shiver down your spine as they mesh with the evening warmth.
You bite at his lip this time, wallowing in the sound of his moan as it tumbles from between his parted lips. He can feel you smiling, the corners of your lips spreading apart as you stifle a laugh.
It feels like fire consumes you, like you’re melting, melting into his touch, like candle wax as his fingertips trace your skin. Like a bomb’s ignited inside you, like you’re exploding, and the more you feel him the more you desire him. The more you crave him, the more your body yearns for him.
You know you have him when you move for his neck, marking a trail of red lipstick stains that look purple in the light. He takes it as a challenge, retaliating with a bite at your neck that makes you sigh in pleasure, and this is definitely why you get along so well—you’re compatible.
“When we get back,” you gasp, ignoring the complacent look he casts at you, “Meet me in my room.”
“What about the others?”
“They saw us making out in the pool, Jaehyun, literally nobody cares,” you roll your eyes. “No more sneaking around shit, right?”
He smiles, “Right. Can’t anyways, your lipstick is all over my throat.”
You giggle, and bring him back in for another kiss as the ride begins to slow to an end.
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The next couple of days are equally eventful, yet fly by far too quickly for your liking. You hit the beach and unfortunately witness a woman being stung by a jellyfish, visit some museums, the zoo, and even hike near the Hollywood sign. You also make sure to spend Yeri’s money on some souvenirs, and Jaehyun buys you matching necklaces. You have his J, he has your first initial.
Today is Saturday—already. Tomorrow you will return home, and you’re not sure if you’re ready or not. You sigh as you scroll through your camera roll. You’ve had so much fun this week, there’s the pictures of Mark’s scared face on the roller coaster, Taeyong buried alive into the sand, Yeri and the girls trying on humongous sun glasses at the mall, and the video of Jaemin and Jaehyun arm-wrestling to determine who’s the better Jae to prove it (Jaehyun won).
Like a normal Saturday, today’s the one chill day. The whole week has been chaotic in a fun way, but Yeri had nothing else planned, so she told everyone to take a day to wind down and feel free to venture out to wrap up the vacation.
Which leads you to now.
Jaehyun and you agreed to visit the park, just walking around and talking, and perhaps doing some making out in between. You’ve been doing that a lot lately, and you’re pretty sure you’re addicted. It’s like there’s a kind of crack in his lips that cannot simply be fixed with chapstick.
“It’s hot,” you complain.
Jaehyun snorts. “We’re in California, babe. Imagine Yeri took us to Florida.”
You wince. You’re barely beating the Californian heat, there’s no way you’ll survive down south in Florida. It doesn’t even snow there.
“I thought you were gonna say some fake-romantic shit, like I’ll reach into the sky and throw the sun into the freezer, princess, just say the word,” you mimic his voice exaggeratedly.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, but laughs nonetheless, “No can do, princess,” he teases, “but I can get us some ice cream from that stand over there. Stay put, I’ll be right back.”
“Wait!” You shout. “You even know what I want?”
He says your favorite flavor, and even your preferred container to consume it in, “Right?”
A smile spreads on your lips, and your heart flutters. He remembers. “Right.”
Jaehyun shoots you a smile then jogs over to the ice cream stand, pulling his wallet from his pockets. You gotta remember to ask him where he’s getting all this money from, this man could be a drug dealer for all you know.
Nonetheless, you sit at a nearby bench and pull out your phone. Nothing beats checking up on your Animal Crossing island while you wait.
You notice the presence of someone sitting beside you but don’t bat an eye, knowing without looking that it isn’t Jaehyun. And who are you to shoo away a stranger if they want to rest their feet?
“You must be y/n,” hearing your name, your eyes snap to the side instinctively.
And that’s when you realize that this stranger may not be as unknown as you initially thought.
Your eyes widen, “You…”
“I am, Jaehyun’s ex-girlfriend,” she, Victoria announces proudly, like it’s some achievement to be clipped onto the fridge.
You never met her, but you’ll never forget her name, or her face for that matter. It’s kind of stupid, how you found out. You were on Instagram, and you saw Jaehyun’s account in the replies of Yeri’s post. You clicked his profile, because you had never exchanged accounts before, and you quickly saw why.
He didn’t post her often, amongst all the flaunting images of himself, but when he did he made it crystal clear that she was his girlfriend, and what sole other woman would he continuously post onto his page?
“What are you doing here?” You ask, an obviously bitter edge to your voice. It isn’t she that you should be bitter towards, but you can’t help but feel slightly defensive.
“Relax, darling, I’m not stalking you on whatever summer vacation he’s had the courtesy to whisk you away on,” Victoria giggles. Of course not, that would be obsessive. “It’s actually a coincidence to see you, but since we’re here, let’s talk.”
Disinterested, you reply, “There’s nothing for you and I to discuss.”
“Of course, there is! You were fucking with him while he was with me, right?” she gives you a picture-perfect smile that makes you want to grit your teeth, yet you compose yourself. She sighs, “You know that, and yet you’re like what, dating him now? I’m telling you now, once a cheater, always a cheater. You might think he loves you now, but I promise you, he’ll stab you in the back the moment you aren’t looking.”
Victoria misjudges your silence as you giving her the go-ahead to continue, “I know that you know, and I know you’re trying to convince yourself that he’s changed, but he’s still the same old bastard he was three years ago. I mean just look at him, he’s even flirting with that lady now.”
With furrowed brows, you turn in Jaehyun’s direction, eyes finding that he actually is flirting with the ice cream lady. You can’t believe your eyes. Really? The fucking ice cream woman? He isn’t trying to be subtle with it, either.
She tilts her head as she speaks in your ear, “See? He doesn’t give a fuck. Not about you, not about her, not about any of us. You’re just yet another notch in his belt.”
And suddenly, all those doubts come back, the ones that you had pushed away and replaced with your growing feelings for him. Yet now that they’re existing within the same space, it’s even more terrifying, it’s exactly what you feared.
What if Jaehyun never really cared? What if all this is just some big act? What if he’s just been playing with your emotions this entire time? What if you don’t really know Jaehyun like you thought?
You want him, but what if he doesn’t really want you?
Jaehyun walks over, seemingly not noticing his ex-girlfriend’s presence, “I got the ice cream. Who’s th—Victoria?”
“Hello, Jaehyun,” she waves, offering him a smile. “We were just talking about you.”
“What the fuck did you tell her?” Jaehyun scowls, taking notice of your silence and the empty, unhappy gaze you shoot at him. You don’t even smile, hardly even blink.
Victoria shrugs. “Nothing she doesn’t already know.”
“I’m walking back to the hotel,” you announce, sliding your phone back into your pocket and peeling yourself off of the bench.
“Wait!”
He calls out your name.
For the third time, you turn and walk away.
This time, though, he’s not letting you walk away. Not without putting up a fight first.
“Why are we doing this again?” Jaehyun yells. “Why? Did I do something? We can just talk this out, you know. What happened to no more secrets?”
You retort, “You fucking tell me, Jaehyun! How am I supposed to know that you don’t have secrets?”
“The same goddamn way I know you don’t have any! Trust!” And the realization hits him hard. He knows that it’s only been some days, but what could Victoria have said to make you back out so hastily? “Is that what it is? You don’t trust me?”
Tears sting your eyes. “Trust you? You want me to trust you? With you being the kind of person you are? You’re out of luck.”
That burned Jaehyun. After all of the bonding you’ve done lately, he would’ve thought that you would trust him a little more, but he sees clearly now. He sees that he’s done all he can do, and now it’s time for you to do your part.
“What kind of person am I, y/n?” He asks coldly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
You spit, “You’re an asshole.”
“Yeah?” Jaehyun laughs tonelessly, “Well frankly I think you’re an asshole, too. So when you’re ready to be assholes together, let me know.”
And this time, Jaehyun’s the one that walks away. This time, you understand his pain, as you have those tear-stung eyes and that quivering voice. That empty feeling inside, the pang in your heart. The way it’s killing you inside, but you don’t have it in you to move, to chase him. All you can do for now is let it eat at you slowly.
Maybe Victoria was wrong. Maybe you’re planting the knife in your own back.
Sunday comes slowly, and you’re glad you didn’t ride the same van as Jaehyun. You still have to deal with the curious stares your friends shoot at you, but it’s better than confronting your emotions, or at least you think it is.
You’re not ready yet.
When you get home, the first time you do is order Panda Express via Uber Eats so that you don’t starve as you sulk in your room. The next thing you do is flop against your bed and sob.
A few days go by like this, in pure brutal agony. You drowning in your thoughts, the maybes and the what if’s. You feel like a teenage girl experiencing her first break-up, lost and confused and unsure of how to deal with the hurt. It’s no one’s fault but yours though, and it’s your job to fix it or forever hold your peace.
Love is hard. You know that. You accept that. If you couldn’t, then it would be wrong of you to try to be in a real relationship. But loving, as a verb, is easy. Too easy. So easy, to the point where sometimes, you don’t realize you’re doing it until it’s too late. What’s harder is accepting the fact that love isn’t a choice, but a feeling. If it was, you would have chosen to stop loving Jaehyun years ago. You would have chosen to fall in love with Taeyong, or maybe even Kai.
But your heart chose Jung Jaehyun, and it must have a mind of it’s own, because no matter how much you tell it to let go, it doesn’t listen.
That’s why as the days go by, they’re slow and empty. Because Jaehyun’s not there. Not with you. And a little voice in the back of your head is saying he’s with another girl, but your heart is telling you to have faith. You are severely conflicted.
Just when you think you might just spend the rest of your life rotting here, you’re quickly proven wrong by the dedication and genuine care and concern of your best friends.
“Hey, bitch,” Jaemin strolls in casually, as though this is his room, “New guy already?”
“What?”
“Some guy opened the door,” he replies, flopping against your bean-bag cough.
You blink, gears turning in your mind as you try to decipher what man could possibly be inside of your house—oh. You roll your eyes, “That’s my roommate’s boyfriend, you dumbass.”
“Oh,” Jaemin mumbles, then his eyes twinkle as he makes a move for your desk, “Ooh, Panda Express.”
Suddenly, Yeri storms inside your bedroom, flickering on the lights inside your very dim and deprived of life, sunshine and happiness room, chanting vigorously the lyrics to Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj’s The Light is Coming, “The light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole!”
You groan, yanking the sheets and comforter over your face to block out the light like a vampire, “You guys, please leave me alone.”
“Nope,” says Taeyong, who follows suit after your other friends, venturing into your room. You fight, you tugging the covers towards you while he attempts at pulling them off. It’s a quick battle which you lose, and you soon accept defeat. “You’ve been suffering in silence—and darkness—for far too long. So, fess up. What did that punk do? Do I need to prepare the coffee?”
You sigh, Saturday seeping back into your memory. “He didn’t do anything.”
Jaemin blinks. “What do you mean? Why else have you been sulking in your bedroom for the past four days like a divorced man whose ex-wife took the kids and the TV? Shit, all you’re missing is a bar and some alcohol at this point.”
You roll your eyes, “I mean, I was the one that fucked up this time.”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?”
They all gasp involuntarily, and if you had it in you, you would roll your eyes at the chorus of what’s.
That day rewinds in your head, how it was so warm then so cold within a matter of moments. Your eyes water as you recall everything that happened, Victoria, your public altercation, walking back to the hotel alone while it felt like there was a rain cloud above your head, despite the piping hot conditions outdoors.
It isn’t like you don’t want to let Jaehyun in. You do, but you’re terrified of granting him that permission, of giving him your heart when he’s broken it before. But this way, you’re only breaking your heart more, and breaking his, too.
“I did something stupid. I assumed the worst when I shouldn’t have, and then I got scared. So I ran,” you want to bury yourself underneath the covers and sink into the earth to be forgotten, but you have to deal with your mistakes. “And I broke his heart. Now I need to fix it, but I don’t fucking know how.”
Yeri thinks you’re dumb.
Taeyong thinks you’re stupid.
Jaemin thinks you’re out of your fucking mind and an absolute fool for letting your thoughts destroy you, but he’ll do whatever he can to help.
“Talk to him, duh,” Yeri says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it is, but easier said than done.
“How? I bet he doesn’t even want to see my face.”
“Are you kidding?” Jaemin gawks. “He’s been moping around the apartment like literally all week, and me and Jongin haven’t said anything because we thought it was his fault! He also has divorced man syndrome!”
Oh. You feel extra stupid now, and you can’t believe you let Victoria get in your head. Collapsing onto your pillow, you groan, “I really am an asshole.”
“Maybe, yeah,” Taeyong agrees, “but so is he, you guys are a match made in heaven.”
“Or hell,” Jaemin chimes in.
Taeyong glares. “With that being said—and I mean this in the friendliest way possible—get your head out of your ass and go talk to him.”
And you smile softly at that. If Taeyong’s giving you the push, you know that everyone’s right and you need to do something. Now.
You nod and whip out your phone with a sigh, opening iMessage. Can we talk?
(Delivered.)
(Read.)
Sure.
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Antsy, you’re fidgeting. Your anxiety is spiking and you can feel your heartbeat directly in your eardrums, but this time your fears won’t scare you off. You wait for Jaehyun, feet tapping against the ground restlessly, until you see him nearing.
He walks over to your side, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and you feel your heart wrenching a little when you notice that he doesn’t give you his wild grin he usually shoots whenever he sees you. His face is inscrutable, and you bite back the urge to run, because you know now that no matter how fast you run, you’ll never be able to hide from your feelings.
“Hey,” your voice is giving up on you, but you refuse to let it. Get a grip.
“Hey,” Jaehyun whispers back. His eyes are dark and empty, and that’s how you know you cut him deep. There’s always a gleam to his eyes, whether sad or blissful.
You can do this, you tell yourself. You’ve talked to him about much worse before, this should be nothing. But still, it’s never been quite like this. You’ve never made this bad of a mistake.
“About Saturday,” you begin, still fidgeting but managing to look at him, “I’m sorry. I jumped to conclusions instead of asking you, instead of trusting you, and I let Victoria get in my head—”
“Yeah, what the hell was that about?” Jaehyun interjects. “Sorry for interrupting you, but I’m still confused. Did I do something?”
“She pointed out that you were flirting with the ice cream lady. What was that?”
Jaehyun blinks, processing your statement, and when he does he begins shaking his head, “Seriously? You’re telling me this is all over the fucking ice cream? I was only flirting with her to get free ice cream! You know they was trying to charge me fifteen dollars for 4 scoops?”
“It’s not just that!” You exclaim. “Like, yeah, that triggered it, but—fuck, Jaehyun, I was scared, I was so fucking scared. I was overthinking, and all my doubts and fears came back, that what if you never cared, what if you don’t want me like I want you, what if I don’t know you like I think I do? I was scared to trust you, scared that I love you because I don’t want to lose you again—”
If Jaehyun was a dog, his ears would perk up. “You love me?”
“Yes,” you answer boldly. “I love you, Jaehyun. I’m in love with you, and up until now that scared me half to death, because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to know that you love me, too,” and especially enough to stay. “But now I know. I trust you, Jaehyun. I love you, I want you, and I’m gonna be honest, I’m still a little scared. But that’s what love is, trusting someone to not break your heart. It’s a risk I’m ready to take for you.”
Jaehyun is silently stunned. He doesn’t have much to say, taken aback by your confession and the fact that this actually happening. “You mean that?”
You nod, smiling. “Every word.”
In seconds, Jaehyun has you pinned to the wall, his lips against yours. God, you missed this feeling. The feeling of his plush lips against yours, his hands on your body. You miss kissing him irresistibly, every hour of every day, for moments at a time until you were breathless.
Jaehyun seems to have missed it just as much, kissing you with a passion—hungrily; greedily. He kisses you like he can’t have enough, like his lips have an insatiable hunger.
And you can’t believe you’re making out with him behind your apartment, but you’re willing to try new things for him.
Jaehyun taps your thighs, and by now you know that that meets to jump, so you do, shrieking a little, yet he doesn’t let you fall. “I got you,” he whispers in between kisses, breath tickling your skin, “and I won’t ever let you go.”
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This Friday, Jongin throws another party, and you and the Pal-Cation crew are sure to be there. Mark and Yeri are a thing, Jaemin and Taeyong are actually a thing, much to your shock, and while you’re happy for them, you’re missing your own label. In spite of your feelings and actions, Jaehyun hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend.
“Hey,” Jongin greets, slipping onto the empty spot on the couch beside you. It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him, AKA that morning when he gave you five-star advice.
You wave, “Hey.”
“So… you and Jaehyun together? I’m guessing, since he stopped moping around the apartment.”
Oh, Jung Jaehyun. The man that can make you and your heart smile at as little as the mere thought of him. He’s somewhere around here, obviously up to something (he wasn’t very subtle when he told you he had to go do something and he’d be right back a couple of minutes ago) though you never questioned what specifically.
Then you frown in realization—together. Are you and Jaehyun together? You don’t mean to be picky, but after all you two have been through, the least you could have is a proper label. You kiss, you make out, you talk and make out some more, you love each other, so there’s no way that you couldn’t be together, or a couple.
“He hasn’t asked me yet,” you mutter.
Jongin furrows his brows. “He hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet? I’d say he’s terrible but who knows, maybe he’s saving to take you on an expensive romantic date or something.”
No, Jaehyun has plenty money. I think he’s a drug dealer, you think, but don’t say. You just nod along, agreeing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
And that’s when you hear it. You could sense it from miles away, it’s like you have a super sense when that song comes on—1 of 1. Only, that voice starting off in the outro is not your Taemin, and that’s when you remember tonight’s theme is karaoke. You stand up curiously and let your eyes lead you to the stage, wondering which fool had the audacity to cover—oh.
Your fool had the audacity to cover your favorite SHINee song.
And he sounds pretty darn good, too. You’ve always loved the fact that Jaehyun can sing, he has the most soothing voice you’ve ever heard.
“There she is!” Jaehyun shouts into the mic, pointing towards you, “My 1 of 1 girl!”
Oh, god. How much did he have to drink? Actually, Jaehyun’s tolerance is pretty high. You’re gonna have to interrogate Jongin about what’s inside those drinks, rather.
“How much did you have to drink?” You shriek over the music. You’re red in the face, aware of all the eyes on you, but after all the altercations you two have had, this should be nothing.
Jaehyun shouts back, “I’m perfectly sober, babe!”
You don’t want to buy it. Even drunk though, Jaehyun isn’t this embarrassing, but if he’s sober that means he’s embarrassing the both of you for literally no good reason at all.
He’s unphased though, singing the lyrics to SHINee’s 1 of 1 like he wrote them himself, especially for you. Thanks to all the times you’ve played the song, he knows every lyric.
“Come join me!”
“What? No—Jaehyun!” He pulls you onto the stage before your can argue, and suddenly you’re standing there, stiff, though making sure to shoot him the iciest glare possible.
“I know you don’t like me right now for this, but listen to me,” Jaehyun says, thumb on your chin as he looks you in your eyes. “There’s actually no other girl in this world I’d get on this stage and sing and dance for, besides you. I should have taken a shot before I did this, but I didn’t. Because I want to be sober when I ask you this.”
You blink. “Ask me what?”
“I have no planned build-up for this, I just wanna get to the point,” get to the point then you jerk, you almost roll your eyes. He shouts, and points the mic in your direction, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Your cheeks burn, and your blood is pumping. “I should say no just to embarrass you.”
“That would make you an asshole.”
“You’re an asshole for waiting this long to ask me to be your girlfriend!” You retaliate.
“Does that mean you finally wanna be assholes together?” Jaehyun asks, a cheeky grin on his face. No one really understands what that means except for you two, and that makes the moment feel so much more special.
You turn to look at your audience, yet among them all you only see four people. Yeri and Jaemin mouthing say yes!, the latter a bit more enthusiastically, Kai giving you a thumbs up, and Taeyong nodding before doing a drum roll.
And you’re sure now. You took the risk of listening to your heart and shutting out the thoughts that tried to scare you away. You’ve never been more sure about anything in your life.
“Yes!” You’re smiling so hard your cheeks begin to hurt. “Yes, yes, yesyes yes—” he has to cut you off with his lips, and you melt into kiss.
The crowd erupts in noise, and you feel like a bride on her wedding day. If you and Jaehyun do get married, you already know who you’re inviting and who will be your bridesmaids and men of honor. That day is far, far ahead, but you smile at the thought and at the present.
Slow and steady. One thing at a time.
“I love you,” Jaehyun engulfs you in a warm, comfortable hug, “And only you.”
When he says it, you trust him. You believe him. Because the Jung Jaehyun you know and love today is a man of his word, and that means you get to love him with no fears, and no worries.
Love is a challenge. And in this moment and the next, it’s safe to say that you’ve won. “I love you, more.”
Jaehyun protests, “No, I love you more!”
“No, I love you more!”
“No—”
“Get a room!”
You and Jaehyun giggle. You sigh comfortably against his chest. This is love. This is what Jaehyun loving you is like. And god, it feels so fucking good.
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icedcappujaeno · 2 days ago
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kingdom come | masterlist.
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Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.
genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut pair: Jaehyun & reader general warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns
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→ Prologue
→ Chapter 1: Void
→ Chapter 2: Apparition
→ Chapter 3: Denial
→ Chapter 4: Familiarity
→ Chapter 5: Coincidence 
→ Chapter 6: Slowly
→ Chapter 7: coming soon...
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honeymark · a day ago
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tongue tied :: thirty-five
summary: a promiscuous basketball star finds his carefree world turned upside down when he crashes the winning team’s afterparty. a series about unexpected relationships, broken bonds, and the quintessential struggles of college life.
tags: @keytomythoughts @yo-dreamrush @chakrasanddrugs @the-universe-in-you-jjh @galaxyjisung @marklexleaf @sideeffectssss @afterourspring @justineasian @huangberryyy @theloouiisee @tamakikaname @whywontyousetfree @littleteafawn @rageofcaliban @itskkung @minkyungstudies @suhreal @quintessentialing @chnhua @painted-hills @httpjeongjaes @thejungjaehyun @yoonohing @linibambinii @doderyscoffee @fakektexts @atinytree @oc-helps @cookydream @lynniac @yizzhuos @dxftprettyboys @awfullytiredbuthealing @injunsdimple @jaeficrecs @kimjngws @mybbtaeyong4thewin @multi4lifer @jiye0n0 @atynsuh @je0ngjaehyun @markistheloveofmylife @cryingforjae @daegalfangirl @minavenue @ilovjaehyun @wonwoosimp @atinyfeels @fr0gluvr (taglist form is in m.list!)
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nctinthehouse · a day ago
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Coming Home
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PAIRING: fem!reader x best friend!Jaehyun
GENRE: fluff, angst, non-idol!au, neighbours!au, childhood-friends-to-lovers!au
SUMMARY: A story of two childhood friends who go through some pivotal moments in their lives together. As they get older, they soon come to realise just how much they mean to each other.
WC: 13.7k
⚠️ WARNING(S): mentions of death, car accident, grief, language (let me know if I’ve missed any)
🎵 PLAYLIST: 5 STAR (CL), I’m in love (Yerin Baek), I.O.U, Round & Round, Coming Home (NCT U)
A/N: My first fic of 2022 and the longest one I've written so far but, I had so so sooo much fun writing this. A HUGEEE thanks to Izzy @decembermoonskz for beta reading this 🥺 I hope this will be an enjoyable story to whoever decides to read this and feel free to let me know what you think of it! 💚 P.S. includes prompts #13 and #16.
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At the age of 8, you and your best friend Jaehyun experienced the joys of snow together for the first time.
The perks of having your best friend as your neighbour was that they could go over to your house whenever they wanted (with permission from their parents of course). You and Jaehyun would go to school together, go home, play, and do homework together. Creating some of the fondest memories in your life. Neither of you realised how much it all meant until you were a lot older.
It was one December afternoon on a Saturday. You sat on the sofa between your parents, eyes focused on the animated characters on the TV. A bowl of popcorn sat awkwardly on your lap, but your small hands tried to keep it steady, not to let it fall on the floor.
Suddenly, light specks of snowflakes started to fall from a gloomy sky, and within a few minutes, those specks would turn into heavy snowfall.
You noticed something happening in the corner of your eye, and so you turned to the side and looked out the window with curiosity.
“Oh would you look at that Y/N, it's snowing!”
“Snowing?”
You placed the bowl of popcorn on your mum's lap before running up to the window. You watched the snowfall; your face lit up with excitement.
Next thing you know, the sound of a doorbell perked your ears, and you were curious as to who it was.
As your mum opened the door, there stood your best friend wearing a puffed up coat over his pyjamas, a fluffy hat and gloves to beat the coldness.
“Y/N, come out and make a snowman with me!!”
As soon as you heard those words from Jaehyun, you turned to look at your mum with wide eyes. You saw a smile grow on her face and nodded at you, which let you know that she permitted you to go outside. You quickly put on your coat and hat with matching gloves and went outside.
You and Jaehyun had a lot of fun building various snowmen, from small ones you placed on the window sill to big ones almost as big as you. Jaehyun even had this incredible duck shaping device which you use in the snow to create perfect little snow ducks. And, of course, when you’re outside playing in the snow, a snowball fight is a must.
“Y/N! Let’s make snow angels!!”
“Snow angels? What’s that?” you asked.
You tilted your head to the side and walked up next to him as your eyes followed Jaehyun curiously as he laid on his back against the thick snow. You watched him move his arms and legs up and down repeatedly until some of the snow gathered against the outline of his body. Jaehyun quickly got up and pointed towards the figure.
“This! Snow angel! Come, make one here!”
Jaehyun gently tugged on the sleeve of your coat as he looked at you with pleading eyes but you hesitated.
“It’s really fun, trust me!” Jaehyun exclaims cheerfully
“Okay, I trust you!”
‏‏‎ ‎
‏‏‎ ‎
Your parents had moved to Seoul a few years ago after a huge job opportunity your dad was offered, and of course, they had to bring you with them. You were devastated and questioned all the time why you had to leave the country you were brought up in and why you had to leave the rest of your family and friends behind. You couldn’t understand why your parents didn’t leave you with your family and move to Seoul on their own.
The first month or so was hard for all of you. You refused to go to school and your parents had to put up with all the tantrums you were making. You would cry almost all day, repeatedly asking your parents,
“Why am I here? Why can’t I go back home? I want to go home.”
“Y/N sweetie, this is your home.”
“No. NO! This is NOT MY HOME!”
You would always run to your room, feet stomping on the stairs as loudly as you could as you go to your room and lock yourself in there pretty much the whole day, sulking. Your parents were angry and didn’t know what to do.
But you were just a kid. Moving away to another country and leaving behind some of your favourite people in the world hurt you a lot. It was a lot to take in, especially at such a young age.
However, one day, it was like a miracle had happened.
You woke up and went to school. You didn’t throw a tantrum, you didn't cry, and you didn't refuse. Your parents thought that you had enough of crying and you got tired of it.
Or maybe because you felt bored staying at home most of the time, despite staying in the house and having an opportunity to watch all your favourite cartoons. You often wondered how your parents allowed you to stay at home like that. But, you wanted to go to school to make friends and share all your favourite things with other people.
And that’s what you did.
As time went by, you ended up having a lot of fun at school and would come back home with the biggest smile on your face. Sometimes as soon as your parents picked you up from the school gates, you would immediately hand them drawings you made in class, or show them the well-done stickers on your jumper that you had earned from your teachers.
It has been a while since your parents had seen you this happy and they were grateful.
They were even more grateful for a sweet little boy named Jaehyun, that you introduced as your special friend to your parents after school one day, because they already knew who he was.
Jaehyun and his parents lived next door, which is how they knew of him and were glad they lived next door. Both your parents agreed to swap numbers after a few friendly conversations and learning that their kids attended the same school. They also decided they would do school runs for each other if they couldn’t do so.
You didn’t know you and Jaehyun were neighbours though. It wasn’t until one day neither of your parents could make it to school on time to pick you up due to important schedules at work. Therefore, they had let Jaehyun’s parents know and asked if they could have you stay at his house until your parents were back.
You were upset when your parents didn’t show up and thought they might’ve abandoned you, but Jaehyun’s mum explained that neither of your parents could pick you up and that you could hang out with Jaehyun at his house until your parents were home. You were both very excited.
“Yaaaaay!!! We can watch my favourite show together and have pizza!!” Jaehyun claps his hands in joy.
You looked confused when Jaehyun’s mum pulled up in front of your house, and questioned why she drove you home when you were supposed to stay at Jaehyun’s. You finally realised when Jaehyun’s mum explained to you and opened the front door of the house next to yours, with Jaehyun pulling you to go inside.
It was from then on that you and Jaehyun promised to be best friends forever, sealing it with a cheesy pinky promise.
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At the age of 16, you fell in love.
[26th JUNE. 2013]
The last of your exams were finally over, and to commemorate the end of another school year, your school decided to hold a prom event. You were excited about it because it gave you an opportunity to dress up, and it was an event where you and all your friends could have some fun, especially after a stressful few months. It was something that only happened once in your school years, almost like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you made sure that it would be a memorable one.
So, who was your prom date?
Jaehyun, of course! You guys are best friends so you were stuck like glue, ever since you were kids.
Since Jaehyun’s mum had to go to work in the evening, she offered to drop both of you off on her way to work.
You were tightening the straps on your shoes as you heard the doorbell. You quickly gathered your essentials into your clutch and opened the door to see a well-suited Jaehyun, dressed up in a black tuxedo with a waistcoat and tie that matched the colour of your dress. Jaehyun’s hair was slicked back, away from his face and forehead visible, and damn, did he look extra handsome like that.
Holy moly he looks gorgeous. You thought to yourself.
“Wow…” says Jaehyun as he stares at you.
You’re pulled away from your own thoughts as you hear that first word he said to you after a few moments of silence. He was starstruck by your own beauty as he looked at you head to toe.
You stood there with your hair styled in a low bun. A few strands of hair you let loose on the sides which framed your face. Your makeup was kept to a minimum with a slight tint of a rosy red lip. All completed with your one-shoulder floor-length royal blue dress of chiffon material and a shiny jewelled belt on the dress that cinched in your waist, which completed the whole look.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do you not like it?” you frowned as you looked down at your dress.
“N-No, No! I love it! You look… beautiful.”
You felt shy as he called you that, and you swore you felt like a tomato right there and then.
“Oh, thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself” you say as you look at him and his tux. A smile grows on Jaehyun's face.
“Oh, they match my dress!” you point to his tie and waistcoat as you notice the colour of it. “How did you know I was gonna wear blue?” tilting your head when you asked him.
You and your friends thought it’d be fun to keep each other's outfits a secret until the day of prom as a surprise. The only people who knew what you were going to wear were your parents, so you weren't expecting Jaehyun to turn up wearing a tie and waistcoat the exact colour of your dress. You thought maybe it was just a coincidence.
“Your dad told me. I wanted to at least incorporate the colour of your dress with what I was gonna wear, so I asked him what the colour of your dress is.”
“You’re welcome sweetheart.” your dad said who was standing a few feet behind you, and you didn't even realise. He winks at you and you squint your eyes at him as a response.
The honks of a car interrupt your conversation, realising that you should be going now. You and Jaehyun quickly say bye to your dad before you hop into the car and make your way to prom.
You, Jaehyun, and your friends were having a lot of fun, dancing the night away to old school classics, munching on food, taking loads of pictures, and talking about all the crazy things that had happened the past year.
Even though you and Jaehyun were with your friends throughout the whole time, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him.
Just simple things such as small touches to your arm or fixing your hair, gave you goosebumps. Or times when he would wrap an arm around your shoulders whenever you guys were talking to your friends. Whenever you saw him smile or see him throw his head back laughing at something ridiculous your friends had said, your eyes went straight to him, and it made you smile and laugh too.
The truth is, you had a big fat crush on Jaehyun. You can’t remember when these feelings started to appear, but it just happened. Your friends knew because you had told them one day after school. You wanted to talk to someone about it hence why you decided to tell them. Well, you told one of your friends, and they promised to keep it a secret, but they couldn’t, because everyone in your friend group apart from Jaehyun found out. You were surprised that information didn’t reach Jaehyun, knowing how gossipy your friends can get. At least they were doing you a favour, and you were thankful for that.
It’s not the first time you and Jaehyun have openly had moments of physical intimacy. It happens all the time, but today, it made you feel like you wanted something a bit more. It’s like on this particular day, your feelings for him became extra intense.
All your friends had started to pick up on it, and began to tease you with every opportunity they got. They were winking at you, nudging your shoulders and making weird noises whenever they caught you looking at him or even if you were seen alone with Jaehyun. You lost count at the number of times you gave death stares to them.
“Aw, this is one of my favourite songs!” you say to your friends at the table, when your ears perk up to the song that had just started playing, “I’m in love” by Yerin Baek.
You're so busy people-watching that you don't notice Jaehyun approaching you.
“Y/N, would you like to dance?” Jaehyun asks as he extends his hand out to you, a sweet smile on his face; dimples on display.
“I’d love to” you mirror his smile on your face. Squeaky noises and screams come out from your friends when you take his hand as you get up from your seat; leading you to the middle of the dancefloor, but not before looking back at your friends with a raised eyebrow. Wondering what on earth were those sounds and why they were so weird.
You look at Jaehyun with doe eyes as he pulls you in closer to him, his arms finding their place on your waist before you place your hands on his shoulders.
You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him before. Even if you have, it’s not the same. His face is just inches away from yours. You felt yourself getting a bit hot, not from the number of people in the room but the closeness of Jaehyun’s body. You weren’t the only one who was like a tomato right now. Jaehyun was too. Ears turn a shade of red, but you don’t notice, because instead of making eye contact with him, you’re looking down at both of your feet as you sway side to side along with the music.
You could feel him staring at you, which makes you shy. You somehow find the courage to look up at him, and when you do, your heart skips a beat as the tip of both your noses touch each other. The next thing you know, Jaehyun’s lips are hovering against yours. You can feel the softness of his lips brush against yours, both of you closing your eyes. You make the first move, sealing your lips with his.
At first, it was a sweet and gentle kiss. You pull away from him for just a second before Jaehyun kisses you again, this time deepening the kiss as your hands make their way to the nape of his neck. Your fingers are playing with his soft locks. You swear you felt the goosebumps and butterflies in your stomach intensify like never before. You couldn’t believe this was happening.
You don’t really know how it happened.
Maybe it was something that had been brewing inside of you. Or it was the song that was currently playing that sparked the kiss to happen.
When you both pull away from each other, you continue to look at each other full of adoration. You looked back and forth between his eyes and lips and so did he. You both wanted to feel the softness of each other's lips once more.
Jaehyun leaned in closer and closer. You closed your eyes, anticipating and wanting to savour the moment with him, waiting for his lips to brush against yours.
But it never came.
Your eyes immediately open as you hear loud chatters surrounding you and Jaehyun, as some of his teammates from his basketball club suddenly pull him away from you to the other side of the hall. “I’ll catch you later!” he shouts out, and you watch his figure get further away. You wave at him in response before you’re dragged to another area of the hall by some of your friends, wanting you to try some of the food they had just brought out.
Way to ruin the moment. you both thought.
It was quickly approaching midnight, and before you knew it, prom was ending. It was time to go home. You and Jaehyun said your goodbyes to your friends before his dad picked you both up to drive home. The car journey was a bit awkward. When you and Jaehyun gathered with your friends again towards the end of the night, both of you were thinking about that kiss. Even now in the car, you were both still processing what had happened but decided to push it to the back of your mind for the sake of your friendship. Neither of you liked the awkward tension building in the car. You were already thinking of the worst, and you were scared. Luckily, Jaehyun’s dad came to the rescue and discarded the awkwardness.
Little did you know, that moment will come crawling back in your mind all the time. Because it was the moment you realised you were perhaps in love.
You spent the rest of the night laying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, replaying that moment over and over again in your head. It felt like something you had seen in a movie or a story you had read, where one of the main characters fell for their best friend, especially when they’ve spent a good chunk of their life with them. And when they fell, they fell hard.
And that was exactly what had happened.
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At the age of 18, he broke your heart.
[25th DEC. 2015]
It’s Christmas Day, and you’re currently sitting on the floor with your back resting against the couch at Jaehyun’s house. The Christmas tree placed in the corner lit up the whole living room. During Christmas, it was a tradition for you and Jaehyun’s family to go round and spend a day at each other’s houses.
You had just finished dinner a while ago. You and Jaehyun insisted on cleaning up after, but both your parents refused to let you guys do the washing today and wanted you to enjoy the rest of the evening doing whatever you wanted.
You were scrolling on your phone while Jaehyun went to the bathroom. You could hear laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen, which made the corner of your lips perk up. Jaehyun comes back and sits down next to you.
“Here, I wanted to personally give you this.” Jaehyun says as he hands you a small silver box with a red bow on top. “Merry Christmas Y/N”
You put your phone to the side and look at Jaehyun suspiciously as you take the small box from his hands. “Open it."
You open it and gasp; eyes widen at what you see in front of you. In the box lies a gold plated necklace with your zodiac constellation made of delicate gemstones upon a velvet cushion. The same one you first laid your eyes upon a few months ago at a jewellery store when you and Jaehyun went out shopping. And then again, a few weeks back when you walked past the store again.
"I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you.”
“Jae… Oh my god, you actually remembered? You didn’t have to… Also this was kinda expensive, no?”
“I wanted to get this for you because it seemed like you couldn’t take your eyes off it, and my parents chipped in as well.” Jaehyun laughs.
“Your parents? I’m surprised.”
“Oh, it’s no surprise. You’re practically like a daughter to them. They love you as much as I do,” Jaehyun says with a smile on his face. Your heart started pounding when he said that.
“Thank you” you don’t know where you found the courage from, but you placed a quick kiss on Jaehyun’s cheek and hugged him. His ears immediately blush at your action. Fortunately for him, you don’t see that.
“Jeong Jaehyun, you always know how to make me happy.”
[5th MAR. 2016]
“Oh my god, mum, why are we watching this?!” you whine out to your mum, who for some reason, decided to put on a bunch of videos from when you were a kid on your TV for Jaehyun to see. “Please turn it off,” you begged, as you reached over to where your mum was standing behind the couch you and Jaehyun were both situated on, trying to get ahold on the TV remote she was gripping onto.
Jaehyun is over at yours today for dinner as his parents had to go out of town to take care of a few things. Conversations about your childhood were brought up while your mum was preparing dinner, which led to your dad putting videos of you when you were little on the big screen for your best friend to see.
Even though you and Jaehyun had known each other since you were 8, he was curious to see what you were like before he met you.
“No please don’t, I love this. Y/N you’re so adorable!” Jaehyun says as he slaps your arm playfully. “You looked so cute when you were little.” You could feel yourself blush from his words.
On TV right now, was a younger you, dressed up in your favourite pyjamas and belting out to songs you had learnt at school, holding onto a remote control, pretending that it was your microphone.
“The vocals though!” Jaehyun laughs.
“Next time, it’ll be your turn.” squinting your eyes at Jaehyun.
After dinner, you and Jaehyun decided to get some fresh air and headed to the local park a few minutes away from your house.
Snow had built up across Seoul since it had been snowing quite heavily for the past few days, and you were always excited because it meant you got to build snowmen and have snowball fights.
It was something you enjoyed doing ever since you moved to Seoul and became friends with Jaehyun. Whenever it snowed, you felt like a child again. It always reminded you of the time you and Jaehyun played in the snow together for the first time when you were kids. Those memories made you smile.
Though you were wrapped in your puffy coat and boots, your hands were freezing. You were so excited about the snow that you forgot your gloves at home, and Jaehyun forgot his too.
Jaehyun picked up a snowball and tried to aim it at you but dropped it to the ground when he saw you rubbing your hands together and blowing air into it to try to warm them up. He ran up to you and grabbed your hands. You swore you felt your whole body shiver, not from the cold, but Jaehyun’s touch. Jaehyun started blowing air into your hands and repeatedly rubbed his hands over yours. You looked at him with adoration as he did so.
After a while, Jaehyun stopped and looked at you, his hands still clasped over yours. He seemed nervous, and it looked like something had occupied his mind.
“Y/N, I need to tell you something.”
Jaehyun looked at you intensely. He’s never looked at you like that before, and it made you anxious.
Was he going to confess to you?
Deep down, you hoped he did.
Ever since that kiss 2 years ago, you kept thinking about how you felt. At one point, you felt that it was just a stupid kiss and it meant nothing, but as more time went by, you realised that you couldn't get it off your mind. You couldn't get him off your mind. You found yourself wanting something more with Jaehyun.
There have been times when you wanted to talk to Jaehyun about what happened, but you didn't have the guts to bring it up. Jaehyun never spoke of that kiss again, so neither did you.
Since then, following several conversations and advice from your friends, you concluded that you were definitely in love with your best friend. They wanted you to confess to him. You had been going back and forth on whether to confess your feelings to Jaehyun or not.
You found yourself questioning whether it was worth the risk because what if he didn't feel the same way? Did he even like you back? Were you willing to potentially lose your friendship over this? You were scared of the outcome.
It's been 2 years now; maybe you should tell him soon before it's too late…
"Remember how I told you I applied for several universities, including one out of the country? Well, the one abroad accepted me. I start in August, so I'll need to move there sometime in July to get settled down."
The moment he said those words, your heart sank, shattered into a million pieces.
Your expression turned from sweet to sour. The glistening of your eye smile quickly disappeared, and was replaced with tears waiting to spill out. You looked everywhere but at him, not wanting to look at him anymore as you know it will now hurt you instead of healing you.
You snatched your hands away from his. The feeling of warmth quickly disappears. You didn’t care if your hands were cold again because all you cared about right now was the fact that your best friend that you grew up with, that you loved so much, was going to be moving away from you.
You didn’t know what to do at that point, so you started to walk back home, processing what Jaehyun had just told you. You heard footsteps behind you that were quicker than yours against the snow, which let you know he’s trying to catch up with you.
“Y/N”, Jaehyun calls out to you. You hear his footsteps get faster until he’s right in front of you, making you stop.
You don’t look at him, keeping your eyes on the ground when he calls your name again. Instead of walking away, you stand there, hands gripping on the end of your sleeves. You don’t dare to move as Jaehyun takes a step closer to you and another step.
He can hear sniffles from you. You’re crying. You want to stop, so you hide your face with your hands, trying to calm yourself down, but it doesn’t work when Jaehyun pulls you into a tight hug, which makes you cry even harder.
You only had less than 4 months left to spend as much time with him. 4 months isn’t that long, and it might seem like a while away, but you spent almost all your life with Jaehyun, it’s weird to know that he’ll be moving away soon and that you won’t see him as often as you do now. You won’t be able to close your front door, and within 10 seconds, you’ll be outside his. Time will fly by, and the next thing you know, you’ll be at the airport crying your eyes out, saying goodbye to him.
How long would it be until you could see him again once he moves away?
Will this be the end of your friendship?
At that moment, you wanted to confess your feelings to him, but you chose not to. You thought it would be unfair to him, and you didn't want to make him feel like he had to choose between you and his dream.
You knew how much Jaehyun wanted to attend this university, which unfortunately was in a different country. Attending and graduating from it meant he had a high chance of working at his dream job, and you didn't want to take him away from that.
After all, you would do anything to keep the one you loved happy, right? Even if it meant having to sacrifice your happiness, just for a while…
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At the age of 21, your whole life came crashing down.
The last couple of years weren't too bad. You had some ups and downs but still managed to pull them through.
Saying goodbye to Jaehyun was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. As the day got nearer to his last day in Seoul, you practically clung onto him like a koala. On the day of his flight, you couldn't stop crying. You hugged him for as long as you could up until the very last minute before he had to go.
He said his goodbyes to his parents, and then to you.
"I'll be back before you know it, I promise."
Though Jaehyun physically wasn't there by your side, he was always a phone call away if you needed anything. He is your best friend, after all.
Both of you tried very hard to keep in contact with each other. Quick texts throughout the day and a good few hours of video calls every weekend talking about everything and anything. Of course, it wasn't the same as before, because he was in a completely different country, but you both managed to maintain a strong friendship. You were grateful that you guys were still friends.
Both of you occasionally talked about visiting each other during the holidays, but it never happened as things just got too busy, especially with uni. Lots of hours and days spent at the library and lectures, doing coursework and revising for exams.
It was December, and you decided to plan a trip to see him during your winter break at the end of the month as a surprise. Jaehyun’s parents were also thinking about visiting him for Christmas, so you all started to plan the trip together, looking at flights and places to stay. You were looking forward to seeing him in person after a few years and spending some time with him.
Until one day, your whole world came crashing down.
You were in the middle of a lecture when one of the university councillors turned up and asked for you to be excused. You were confused as you started packing up your stuff into your bag. Your councillor walked you to the entrance building, feeling even more confused when you saw two police officers that seemed to be waiting for you outside their car.
They told you that there had been an emergency involving your parents and you needed to go to the hospital straight away. You started to panic and were about to make a run for it when the officers quickly told you that they’d drive you there. When you got in the car, you started crying, imagining some of the worst-case scenarios that could have happened. You tried to push those thoughts away and prayed that everything was ok, trying to calm yourself down. But you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried.
Unfortunately, the worst did happen.
As you made your way there, the officer next to you explained that your parents were involved in a severe car crash—a drunk driver speeding down the road, trying to escape from several police cars chasing them. The driver lost control of the wheel and slammed into oncoming traffic. The first car they hit was the fatal one, which had flipped over several times. It was the one your parents were driving in.
When you got to the hospital, it was already too late. The doctors and nurses tried very hard to save them, but your parents didn’t make it. You didn’t even have the chance to say one last goodbye to them while they were still alive. You didn’t have the opportunity to tell them that you loved them one last time.
You broke down even more than you already were, leaning your head against the wall for a few moments before dropping down on the floor and hiccuping as tears flowed down your face. You cried and screamed out in anger and pain. The police officer crouches down with you, trying to comfort you by soothing your back and rubbing your arms up and down. But you just kept on crying and crying.
What were you going to do now?
The police officer took you outside to get some fresh air. You sat on a bench, still crying your eyes out but stopped after a while. The officer told you a few things, but you couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying.
Afterwards, they left you alone, but not before writing down a few numbers for you if you needed some extra support. You thanked the officer for being there with you and trying to comfort you.
Tears clouded your eyes, and you were crying again. You wished none of this had happened. You started pinching yourself, hoping that it was just a nightmare and that you would wake up soon. But all that happened was that area of your skin started turning red. You started pinching it even more and more until you stopped.
Your tears gradually stopped, and all that was left was minor hiccups and sniffles. Only now were you starting to process what had happened, and everything that the officers and doctors had told you was real. Though you were no longer crying, you were still in pain and distraught. It felt like someone had pierced through your chest and grabbed your heart, squeezing it as much as possible.
You stared down at your hands blankly as you fiddled with your fingers. You sat there for about an hour or two. Tears were coming and going. Grabbing your phone, you texted Jaehyun's parents, asking if one of them was available to pick you up from the hospital as soon as they could. Jaehyun's mum got there as soon as she could, and you explained everything to her.
When you got home, you told Jaehyun's parents not to say anything to Jaehyun about all of this and that you were going to tell him in your own time.
You were already in such a massive amount of stress, studying your ass off, trying to get the degree you always wanted. Being able to start a career in the field you have dreamed of since you were younger. Having your parents' death on top of all that stress, was not going to help you in any way.
It was 3 weeks before Christmas. 5 months before your first of the final exams. 7 months before your graduation.
It was going to be tough.
Time seemed to drag very slowly.
You spent the next month or so cooped up indoors, not going outdoors at all. Jaehyun's parents went round to yours now and then to check up on you and bring over homemade food just for you. Little things like this made you feel so fortunate that you still had them in your life, and that they only lived next door.
You isolated yourself from everyone, ignoring texts and calls from your family and friends.
Your family sent in voicemails and messages, saying that they were absolutely devastated about your parent's death, and that they were here for you if you needed them. Though you didn't feel like replying and felt a bit overwhelmed by all the messages, you were thankful for their love and support during these challenging times. You made a mental note to yourself that you'll contact them whenever you were ready to.
Your friends were starting to get worried about you, because it wasn't like you to not talk in your group chats. Sure, you did leave your phone on silent sometimes while you were studying, so it's not a cause of distraction, but usually, you'd be texting them, complaining to them how this assignment you were working on was a pain in the ass. You'd usually tell them not to distract you because you were busy studying. But for almost 2 months, the only thing you would reply whenever they asked if you were okay, was either an "I'm fine" or "I'm busy", nothing more.
One day, your friends showed up at your house, hoping to get answers from you. They weren't mad at all; they were just extremely worried about you.
You were surprised when you opened the door after hearing several knocks, seeing them in front of you. They let out a huge sigh of relief when you answered but frowned when they looked closely at you. You looked like you hadn't slept for days, and they assumed that you were studying too hard and hadn't been giving yourself breaks from it, but you just looked so… fragile and weak.
Eventually, you sat them down in the living room and explained what had happened. Your friends now understand the pain you went through and are still going through now.
You still had to tell Jaehyun at some point, but you didn't know when.
University would start again 2 weeks later. It was the last few months before your final exams, and boy, were you not ready to go back at all. You didn't want to go back, at least not yet. At one point, you even thought about whether you should continue; whether there was even a point to graduate anymore.
As hard as it may seem though, you wanted to carry on and finish it off. It was going to be a challenging journey ahead, and you knew there would be times where you wanted to drop everything, but you wanted to make it to the end. You needed to pull through the last few months, not just for yourself but for the sake of your parents. You wanted to graduate to make them proud. You didn't want to fail and quit, especially when you were so close towards the end. You knew that your parents would want you to continue to live your life as much as you could. They would never want to see you live the rest of your life unhappy.
The last few months of university were a struggle.
During those months, you tried very hard to get back up on your feet again. You can't lie and say it wasn't a struggle because it was. Staying in the house all the time didn't help, because memories surrounded you. You did spend almost 14 years growing up in this house after all. At one point, you thought, "Should I sell this house and get my own apartment?" but you couldn't. As you mentioned, you made a lot of memories in this house. As much as it killed you because your parents weren't here anymore, you knew that it would kill you if you did sell it. You didn't have a job, and was there a need to do that? You were fortunate enough to have a house in the first place. You felt you were overreacting.
In the beginning, you didn't feel like going into campus for lectures, still wanting to stay inside. As much as you needed to leave the house, since it wasn't good to be cooped up indoors for too long, you were in too much pain to leave your home.
Your professors knew what you were going through and were kind enough to record the lectures and send over presentations to you via email, so you could catch up with things in your own time.
Over time, you slowly started going back. Whether it'd be once a week, once every 2 weeks, you were starting to get back up again while at the same time, learning how to deal with grief.
But, it wasn't always a smooth journey.
You would have days where you would curl up in your bed, crying, as you think back to that moment when you learnt of your parent's death. And then you would have days where you would have the motivation to get out of bed, doing the best you can for the day, whether it's making some breakfast or doing some laundry. You didn't want your parents to worry about you.
You told yourself, "One step at a time". Small steps are still progress, right?
Soon enough, you were having more happy days than sad days, with huge support from the people in your life.
You were grateful for your friends who made time to visit you, making and bringing food and anything essential you needed. They wanted to make sure you were okay and looking after yourself, even though they were busy studying for the last of their exams. Sometimes they would text you, saying that they left some things for you at your doorstep, in case you didn't feel like having visitors that day or just as a surprise from them.
Jaehyun's parents checked up on you every day, whether it was bringing you homemade food, or quick calls to ensure you were doing well. They pretty much adopted you into the family; you were like a daughter to them after all. His parents didn't want to see you live in pain for the rest of your life, and they were sure your parents didn't want to see that either.
And what about your best friend, Jaehyun? Did you ever get around to telling him about your parents?
No, you didn't.
Well, Jaehyun's mum was the one that told him. He found out about a week after you had told your friends.
Of course, you had planned to tell him at some point because you did say to his parents that you would in your own time. However, because you were still grieving over the death of your parents and, at the same time, trying to back up on your feet again, you still didn't figure out when. When you were at the hospital, you did think about telling him as soon as you got home, but you never did.
Maybe it was because you didn't want him to worry about you. You didn't want him to give up on his dreams and make him lose focus. You knew that he would be devastated that he was not there to comfort you and be by your side. Knowing Jaehyun, he'd probably do something stupid like dropping out of university the last minute or booking the next flight back home just to be with you even if he had an exam the next day.
Sometimes, the things he did for you or things he said, made you wonder if he liked you more than a best friend. But you were always one to overthink, and you never wanted to expect too much, so you pushed the thought to the back of your mind.
When you isolated yourself from everyone, you were also trying to ignore his texts and calls. You didn’t want Jaehyun to worry about you, so whenever Jaehyun called or wanted to FaceTime you, you would either cancel or ignore the calls. You would text him an excuse saying that you were busy or at a lecture.
Soon enough, the phone calls and texts became less and less. You pretty much ended up ghosting him, and he was getting fed up. You didn’t want to do that, but you couldn’t think straight at that time. It was getting to a point where you hadn’t sent a single text to him for about a month. He tried to call you a few times, but you never picked up. It was almost like you had disappeared from the face of the earth.
Jaehyun thought maybe you were just too caught up with uni. He knew what you were like during exam seasons, so he didn't want to disturb you or anything. He still texted you but tried to keep it to a minimum. However, he was getting worried about you. He was concerned about your health, because he knew how stressed you could get to the point where you would neglect yourself.
He was also starting to think that maybe he had done something wrong. Was it something he said that made you stop talking to him? Were you trying to distance yourself from him on purpose because you didn't want to be friends with him anymore? Jaehyun was scared of losing you.
He wanted answers, but since you wouldn't pick up his calls or reply to any of his texts, he called his parents one day to see what was going on.
On the phone call, he asked about you, and his mum insisted that you were okay. But Jaehyun wouldn't take that for an answer. He knew that his mum was lying and felt something was going on. His mum kept telling him that she couldn't tell him, but Jaehyun begged his mum, and she could feel how sad he was getting. He even said he would book a flight one weekend to see you, but in the end, she told him that your parents had passed away. She didn't go into too much detail because she knows you'd want to tell him yourself when you were ready to.
Jaehyun was so heartbroken for you. He couldn't imagine how you felt when you found out how much pain you were in. He wished he was there with you, so you weren't alone. He wanted to hold you in his arms as close and tight as he could to show you that you were safe with him. He wanted to protect you from all the pain you were suffering from.
After the phone call, Jaehyun immediately sent a text to you.
You were curled up on the couch at that time. You paid no attention to a random show playing on the TV, only acting as background noise while scrolling on your phone. You were about to get up to go to the bathroom when you heard a ping from your phone, seeing that Jaehyun sent you a text.
JAE: “Mum told me everything. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m always here if you need me. I promise 💚”
At that moment, you thought that maybe now was the time to talk to him about it. So, you went to the bathroom, and when you came back, you called him. Within a few seconds, Jaehyun picked up and as soon as he said your name, you burst into tears. It’s like all your pent up emotions about everything just popped out. You missed talking to him and hearing his voice.
You and Jaehyun talked for hours. Your chest felt less heavy, and it felt so good to talk to him again.
[21st JULY. 2019]
Your graduation day is finally here.
You made it to the end, just like you wanted to. It was tough, but all that hard work has finally paid off, with a tremendous amount of support from the people around you.
You're happy that you're graduating with a degree that you love. But you missed your parents so much, especially on this occasion. You wished that your parents were still here to witness one of your most significant achievements in life, but you knew that your parents would be so proud of you.
For your graduation, you wore a dress that your parents loved when you tried it on in a store one day, pairing it with a set of gold earrings that your mum used to wear and a ring your dad used to wear.
You remember saying that this was the dress you would wear at graduation, even though it was around a year away. At that time, you didn't even know whether you'd be able to pass your exams or not. But, you made a promise that you would try as hard as you could.
Now that university is finally over, you have a few things to look forward to soon.
You were going to take some time off and travel around Japan, which is where you've always wanted to go. Find a job in the career that you've always wanted to work in.
And the most exciting thing of all, Jaehyun is moving back to Seoul sometime next month.
He told you on the phone 2 months ago that he was looking forward to moving back in August. It was something you always looked forward to, and it was a little something that helped you keep going through the hard times. You were looking forward to having your best friend back in the flesh.
You were glad that Jaehyun's parents and your friends were here. Though Jaehyun graduated a few weeks earlier, unfortunately, he couldn't make it to yours even though he promised he would because of some important issues he had to deal with, which meant he couldn't leave the country even if he wanted to. He never told you what it was, but it seemed urgent, so you didn't question him further. He did say he would tell you another day.
You were disappointed of course, because it was one of the biggest days of your life, but you knew that Jaehyun would never have missed it. You promised to send him pictures and videos of the event later on.
After the ceremony, your friends and Jaehyun's parents took many pictures with you. You even managed to get some professional photos taken before your friends had to leave. Jaehyun's parents stuck around with you until you were ready to head home, as they didn't have any plans for the rest of the day.
"I can't wait to see Jaehyun. He's coming back soon, right?" asked his parents as you were sending him pictures and videos from earlier. You look up from your phone and at his parents as they didn't respond to you. You noticed they had slight somber expressions.
You laugh nervously. "What? Did something happen?"
Jaehyun's parents looked at each other, wondering if they should tell you now, but they didn't want to lie to you.
"Sweetie, did he not tell you?" his mum said.
"Tell me what?"
You found out that Jaehyun may not be coming back.
After his graduation, Jaehyun had planned to move back to Seoul.
On his graduation day, his professor came up to him and told him that someone from a company had contacted him and said they really liked the portfolio Jaehyun had developed over the years at university and asked if he would like to go for an interview.
He agreed to go because it was at a place he had dreamed of working at ever since high school. Still, he didn’t think that such a thing would happen because it was one of the top businesses in the country, and it was hard to get into. And so he thought he would study in that field of work in the country that was well known in that industry, go back to Seoul and get a good job in that field.
The interview went well, but he didn’t think much of it because it was for such a prestigious company, but it was one of the best in the country. They were only hiring 3 out of 100 people, and Jaehyun didn’t think he would get it. He thought there was no way he could compete with the others.
However, a week later, the company contacted him and told him he got one of the places. He got the job.
Jaehyun was surprised. He couldn’t believe it; it was like a dream come true for him. All those days and nights spent studying in his room and at the library with him getting a degree finally paid off. He chased his dream and got it.
He couldn’t wait to tell his parents about it. He knew his parents would be over the moon because they knew how hard he had worked for an opportunity like this to come up.
He was a little anxious to tell you because he didn’t know how you would react to it. It made him think of when he told you he was moving abroad, but Jaehyun was thrilled nonetheless. He hoped you would understand what this meant to him. He wanted to say it to you in person because he was going to the graduation anyway. But, he said to himself that he would tell you the day after instead because it’s supposed to be one of the most joyful days of your life. He didn’t want to ruin that. He was looking forward to attending and finally getting the chance to see you again after a long time. He was so happy and proud of you; he wanted to be there and give you a big hug for making it.
However, during the same time the company contacted him, he was informed that his first day would be on the 19th July. 2 days before your graduation, and it was the day he had planned to fly out back to Seoul for that occasion.
That happiness disappeared when he realised that it meant he would miss your graduation. He would have to break the promise he made. He didn’t want to break your heart again, but he didn’t want to turn it down. He couldn’t just throw away this once in a lifetime opportunity. It was his dream after all.
But you would understand, right? You would understand that this was his dream and that you would be happy for him, right?
After your graduation, Jaehyun told you everything about his new job on a video call with you. When he told you, you didn’t react the same way as you did back when he told you about moving abroad for university. You were shocked but also happy for him, it was evident on your face. He was surprised you weren't mad at him at all. You were pretty calm and were very happy for him.
He felt relieved but, at the same time, guilty for having to break those promises he made.
Though Jaehyun knew you were happy for him, he didn’t know that you were also heartbroken. You acted like everything was normal, like how you two would talk on the phone for hours back then when Jaehyun had just moved abroad. But it killed you inside, knowing that you still won’t be able to see him as much as he had promised.
You were going to take some time for travelling before finding a job. You knew that you probably wouldn’t be able to contact each other once you get a job as often as before because both of you would probably be busy. But at least it’ll be easier for you to take some time off to go and visit him.
After the first week after he told you, you began to feel incredibly lonely. Maybe it wasn’t just because you missed Jaehyun, but it was also one of those days where you really missed your parents. It’s like all those sad moments came rushing back to you. You broke down in tears when you were on a call with Jaehyun one day.
“You left me again… You promised you’d come back.”
“Y/N, I never left. I’m still here, I was always here for you and I still am.”
“But you’re not here, here. Physically.”
“Y/N, I thought you were happy for me…”
A few days after that phone call, you started travelling. You knew you needed to get away for a bit, to spend time with yourself, especially after everything you had been through. You explored other parts of South Korea before flying to Japan like you wanted to do.
All those trips helped you tremendously. It gave you time to think and sort out all your thoughts. You needed it, and in the end, you were so glad that you did all that travelling.
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As time passed, things started to feel a lot easier for you. It didn’t hurt you as much anymore. You’ve learnt how to deal and live with it.
Throughout the next couple of years, you and Jaehyun’s parents would fly out to visit Jaehyun a couple of times when all of you were free of schedule. You always made sure Jaehyun would have the best of times whenever you guys visited, because you knew how hardworking he was and how great he was at his job. Jaehyun would also make the most of the free time he had with you and his parents. It was almost like an escape from reality for him.
During your visits, Jaehyun would drop hints about his feelings towards you. He wondered if you've picked up on it, because you were always so affectionate towards him both physically and verbally, and he was the same too.
But both of you thought that the reason either of you acted that way was that it was the only time you guys were able to hang out like you used to. You wanted to make the most out of the only days you got to spend time with each other before you had to fly back to Seoul.
The amount of times he wanted to tell you about his feelings while he was with you but didn’t, drove him crazy. He always held back because he knew that he’d want to fly back with you. Jaehyun’s parents even picked up on the behaviour between you two. They couldn’t believe just how oblivious both of you were of each other's feelings towards one another, it made them laugh.
In the beginning, Jaehyun was quite happy and content with his life. He enjoyed his extended stay abroad. Though work took over his life most of the time, he lived comfortably and always looked forward to you and his parents' visits.
But as time went by, things started to shift. He wasn't as happy compared to when he first started. Work soon started to begin to stress him out more and more. He didn't love it here as much as before. He began to feel a bit lost and lonely.
It felt like he was missing something or someone…
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At the age of 24, Jaehyun’s never felt so stupid in his life.
[27th DEC. 2021]
Jaehyun was in his office, munching on his lunch. He had just gotten off a phone call with you. It was a very brief one since you had to go back to work.
He was casually looking through his phone when suddenly, a notification popped up, saying that there’s a new memory from his Photos app. It was a video he had saved on his phone thanks to his mum sending it to him one day. It was from the time when you and Jaehyun were bundled up in your oversized coats, down on the ground with your arms and legs moving up and down to create snow angels on the bed of snow when you guys were 8 years old.
He remembered feeling so excited he could run out of his house, do a little u-turn and end up right at your front door in a split second. He remembered stretching his arm up to ring the doorbell and asking you to make a snowman with him. He showed you snow angels and remembered seeing his mum recording videos of you and him playing in the snow together for the first time.
He was so excited to have become best friends with you in the first place. And with you just living right next door to each other as well? He was over the moon.
Watching that video made him look through the photos he took over the years with you.
He comes across several pictures taken at prom back in high school. Both of you making goofy faces in a couple of selfies and pictures with your friends. It makes him think back to the time you both kissed. He remembers thinking to himself, "Is this what love feels like? Is this what it feels like to kiss the one you love?"
When you removed your lips from his, not even a second later, he wanted to kiss you again. And that's exactly what he did. He wanted to be in that moment for as long as he could.
When you both pulled away another time, he felt his heart beating like crazy, making him feel all sorts of emotions for you, love, adoration, warmth. He thought he was going crazy. But he just wanted to kiss you again and again. He started to feel nervous, because he was scared that you would think it was a mistake, but that look you had on your face told a different story. It gave him the courage to kiss you again, but his teammates suddenly turned up and dragged him away.
Throughout the whole night, he couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. It was the day he realised that he had feelings for you, feelings beyond your friendship.
Swiping through more pictures, he stops at one where you and he were sitting in front of the Christmas tree, with Santa hats on your heads at his house when you and his parents went over for dinner. He remembers the way your eyes glistened and that smile you had on your face when he gave you the necklace you wanted.
He loved to see you smile and loved it when the reason for your smiles and laughter was because of him. He vowed to himself that he would never make you cry, apart from if it's happy tears. He would try to keep you smiling and laughing for as long as he's alive and with you.
But that changed a few months later when he told you he was moving away for university.
On that day, just earlier, he was with you and your parents, watching videos of when you were little before you and Jaehyun met. As well as videos your parents had taken when you and Jaehyun would hang out when you were kids. The new year gatherings, the summer holidays, the Christmas holidays. He remembers asking your mum to send him the videos if she could so he could use it to tease you with it whenever you annoyed him or when he felt like it.
When you guys were out at the park, he was so nervous because he decided he would tell you right there and then. He was scared at how you were going to react to the news.
He had gotten confirmation of his place at the university a few days ago, and he was thinking about how to tell you. He didn't want to tell you so soon, but he only had about 4 months left before he had to move abroad. He didn't want to tell you at the last minute when he knew it would break your heart even more, and he could never do that to you.
It killed him when he saw you react the way you did. You looked so hurt.
You started to walk away from him without saying a word. He was confused when you reacted like that. Weren’t you supposed to be happy for him because his dream finally came true?
He started to chase after you, and while he did, he thought maybe he should’ve confessed. He thought about confessing his feelings for you on this day but decided not to as he knew that it would make it harder for him to leave. And what if you didn’t feel the same way? What was he going to do? He didn’t want to risk your friendship at the time, especially when he was going to move away soon, and so, he thought he would tell you about the move instead. He thought it was the right thing to do.
He never wanted to see you cry, ever, so it broke his heart when you did. And it broke his heart even more that he was the reason for your tears when he vowed to himself that he would never make you cry.
It was a complete 180 to how you were earlier when you were all gathered in the living room, smiling and laughing at the memories made when you guys were kids.
When he held you so tightly, he understood why you reacted that way because if it were the other way round, he would've reacted the same way.
I mean, your best friend, who you've known almost your entire life and who you love with all your heart, was moving away from you. Who knows when and if you'll see them again. Things can happen, and things can change.
He didn't want to leave you, but he didn't want to give up on his dreams.
Counting down the days until Jaehyun's flight, he thought you were so cute that you kept clinging onto him, even more so than when you were kids. You didn't want to let go of him, and he didn't want to let go of you either. You promised each other that you would keep in contact as much as you could, which is what you did.
Until during the last few months of uni, you stopped texting him and answering his calls before exam season began. It was like he never existed in your life. You disappeared all of a sudden without saying anything to him. He thought that maybe you just got distracted with studying because he knew how much you wanted to graduate. That you were pressuring yourself, maybe too much, and he didn't want you to do that. He thought you were spending all of whatever free time you had in the library or studying in your room. If he were still there in Seoul, he would've come over to your house and dragged you away from your desk and outside of your home to force yourself to take a break.
He thought he should confess his feelings for you. Maybe it would help to get through the stress you were probably having. He hoped it would give you extra love and support to help cheer you on.
He kept texting and calling you, wanting to talk to you, hoping to give you some encouragement, but no answers.
As time went by, he was getting increasingly worried, which is why he pressed for an answer from his mum.
For a second, he thought he just lost his chance of confessing to you. He should’ve told you how he felt a long time ago. But that didn't matter and that thought didn’t cross his mind anymore as soon as Jaehyun found out about your parents had passed away because at that time, his main priority was to be there for you as much as he could, like he always had been but even more so than ever.
He was absolutely devastated. He felt so guilty because exam season was approaching, so it killed him that he couldn’t be there with you when all he wanted to do was to comfort you and to hold you. If he could, he would’ve been there in a heartbeat.
He was happy to have heard your voice for a while when you finally called him, but it crushed his heart when he heard your broken voice and tears when you talked to him about your parent's death which is never an easy thing to do.
He remembers telling you how brave and strong you were to keep going and wanting to do the best you could for the sake of your parents. It's one of the things he loves about you. The fact that you never want to fail and you always try to push yourself to the end. You always try not to give up so quickly, and Jaehyun admires you a lot for that. It's taught him not to give up so easily.
You promised him that you would do your best and he promised you, and himself that you would get the biggest hug ever as soon as he could see you again and that he would never leave your side.
Thinking about all that has happened, he realised how many broken promises he has made, not just to himself but to you. He’s surprised but grateful that you stuck by him and understood why he had to break those promises.
Suddenly, everything here felt foreign to him, like he didn’t belong here anymore. He started to feel sadness surrounding him. It felt like something was missing.
As much as he loved his job here, he misses Seoul. He misses his friends and his parents. He misses the little things such as home-cooked meals made by his parents, playing basketball with his friends at the park. Small conversations he would have with the local owner of a small cafe at the beach not far from his house.
Most of all, he misses you.
During the few times when you would come to visit him, and it was time to fly back, he just wanted to follow you back to Seoul. He wanted to leave everything he had here and return home with you.
He misses how he could turn up at your house anytime he wanted, and not once did you get angry with him over it. Late night adventures to the convenience store on nights where you would randomly crave instant ramen and cheap but yet the most delicious ice creams ever.
He misses how you would beg him to go to random cafes you discovered on social media because of how picturesque they always looked and asking him to take a million photos of you. You always ask him to choose one to post on Instagram but always pout at the one he chooses because you think you look weird. Still, he always tells you that you look stunning in it no matter how many you take.
He misses the times how your smile or your eyes would crease up whenever you talked about something cool you saw or discovered on the internet. It always made his heart melt, and he would always get the urge to pinch your cheeks and coo at your cuteness.
He misses how he always felt at home whenever you were by his side. He always seems to be the happiest whenever you’re with him.
He didn’t want to be so far away from everyone anymore.
Yes, it was his dream to be here, but it’s not making him as happy as before.
They say that you should follow your dreams to be happy. If you follow your dreams, then you follow your heart. If you never chase your dream, you will never catch it.
He's already chased his dream; it's time to chase another.
His dream now is to go back to Seoul, back with his friends, parents, home, and you.
[7TH JAN. 2022]
It’s that time of year when the snow starts piling up everywhere across Seoul once again. It’s only been snowing for about half an hour, but it’s been getting heavier by the minute.
It’s about early evening now, and you had planned to go out for some grocery shopping, because you didn’t have much in the house to cook something. But, you didn’t feel like leaving the house anymore because of the weather, so instead, you ordered delivery.
You figured it’d probably take a while because of the snow so in the meantime, you decided to do a bit of cleaning around the house.
10 minutes later, the sound of the doorbell resonates throughout the house. “Oh, that must be my food!” It perks your ears and you quickly make your way downstairs as you were upstairs doing some cleaning.
When you opened the door, you weren't greeted by a delivery person, instead, you were greeted with a certain someone at your front door, gripping onto a large suitcase on the side.
You stood there, staring at them with shock on your face. “Jaehyun? Wha-what are you doing here? You never told me you were flying back here.”
“Surprise?” Jaehyun’s prominent dimples appeared as he gave you a slight smile. You wanted to say something, mouth opening and closing. You were lost for words, so instead, you immediately threw yourself in his arms, hugging the living daylights out of him. Jaehyun chuckles at your reaction, hugging you back.
After a few moments, he taps your back, motioning you to let go of him. “Listen, Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. Well, a few things I need to tell you.” You scrunch your eyebrows, wondering what he has to say.
“Actually, before I tell you, can we go inside? It’s fucking cold out here.”
“Oh, right, sorry” you pull Jaehyun in along with his suitcase, and close the door.
Your breath hitched as you felt the close proximity of Jaehyun. You hadn’t been this close to him in a while; you forgot how shy he made you feel sometimes.
“Before I flew here, I had to take care of a few things. I booked the earliest flight back as soon as I could, though it feels like I should’ve done it earlier.” You frown at him as you shake your head.
“I-I don’t really understand…”
“I quit my job.”
You widen your eyes at his statement. It felt like your eyes were going to pop out any second. “You did WHAT? Jaehyun, are you out of your mind?! Are you crazy?! That was your dream, why did you do that?”
Jaehyuns shifts his eyes to the ground, then back at you, taking in a deep breath before a smile grows on his face.
“I am so in love with you Y/N. Not in a best friend kinda way, but much more than that.”
“What?” You blink at Jaehyun a few times, processing everything he had told you so far.
He takes a step closer to you. “I love you, Y/N”
Silence fills the room for at least 10 seconds before you manage to say anything.
“Being in love with me doesn’t equate to quitting your job! I think? Unless you’re really crazy.” Your eyes widen again as you put your hands on your temples. “Oh my god, I hope that's not the only reason why you quit.”
“Y/N” Jaehyun removes your hands from your face, taking them in his. His thumbs soothing circles on them as a way of telling you to calm down.
“Sorry, this is kind of a lot of information to take in.” you grimace, as you pull one of your hands away to scratch the side of your neck a little. A habit that you developed over the years when you realised you may have overreacted. “You know I never want you to give up your dreams just because of me.”
“There’s a lot more to it, trust me.”
You gave Jaehyun a worried look, and he took it as a sign for him to elaborate.
“It was getting really stressful and it was starting to take a toll on me. I also felt really lonely without you. And maybe it’s time for a change; relax and take it a bit easy, you know? I’m sure I can find a job here in Seoul.”
You nodded at his words, giving his hands a little squeeze. “If that’s what you want, I’ll 100% support you.”
"Ever since your parent's death, it made me realise how life can just be taken away suddenly. The most important people in your life can be gone in an instant. I want to spend more time with everyone, especially with you. You've gone through so much, and despite all that has happened, you've remained so strong and positive. I absolutely love you for that."
As you listened to his words, tears clouded your eyes before they quickly fell down your cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, I should’ve come back a long time ago.” Jaehyun says as he wipes one of your tears away.
You shake your head and smile. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re here now, in the flesh.” you chuckle. “That’s all that matters.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I was happy over there, but I'm the happiest here, with you.”
You sniffle a few times and take a deep breath. “Jaehyun, there’s a lot of things I’ve been wanting to tell you, but… I don’t really know where to start.” letting out a laugh as your tears continue to fall.
“It’s okay, we have plenty of time.”
“You came home”
Jaehyun nodded. “I did.”
“And you’re kind of crazy too.”
Jaehyun looks confused. “How?”
“You know you could’ve just dropped your suitcase off before coming over here since you live next door. You could’ve said hi to your parents first before coming over and had dinner with them, or you could’ve-” You suddenly feel a pair of lips on yours. Jaehyun cuts you off mid-sentence with a kiss. Something, of course, you didn’t expect, but you kissed him back, and you felt him smile. But Jaehyun pulls away from you when he feels something wet on his face.
“Why are you crying?” Jaehyun chuckles as he wipes the tears off your cheeks delicately.
“Because I never thought there'd be a day where my best friend feels the same way as I do.”
“So you love me too?” Jaehyun grins.
“Of course I do, you crazy, stupid man,” you say, as you lightly slap his shoulder before wiping the remnant of your tears away. “I’ve been throwing signs everywhere since forever. Did you not pick up on them?”
“Me too Y/N! Did you not pick up on mine too?”
“Oh. Well, I guess we’re both crazy and stupid then.” you pout, before Jaehyun pinches your cheeks. This is one of the things that Jaehyun loves about you, your silliness.
“You're still crazier than me though.”
“How so?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.
“You quit your job, flew thousands of miles back here, just to tell me in person that you love me. Tell me that’s not what a crazy person who’s in love would do.”
“Hey! That is not what I- … Actually, that is kind of what I did.”
You shake your head and laugh, Jaehyun joining in with you, taking your hands with his and swaying it side to side gently. It's quiet again after a few moments, but Jaehyun continues to look at you with happiness on his face. You start to look anywhere but at him as you feel shy from his gaze.
“Y/N?” His tone is a bit more serious this time.
“Yeah?” looking at Jaehyun again.
“I will never leave you again, I promise. I know, I haven’t kept a lot of my promises, but this is the ultimate promise of all promises.” You let out a chuckle at the last bit. “Just trust me, Y/N.”
You nodded at him. “Okay, I trust you”
Jaehyun cups your cheeks with the palm of his hands. He’s leaning in closer and closer—
ding dong
You let out a small gasp and jump slightly from the sudden sound, wondering who on earth is at your door. You stare at the door for a moment, trying to think if you were expecting anyone at this time.
ding dong
Another door bell pulls you out of your thoughts.
When you go and open the door, there stands a young man all warmly dressed up with a helmet on his head, the mask on his face only makes you see his eyes.
“Uh, can I help you?”
“You ordered delivery?” the confused man holding up some brown bags. Though you can’t really make out his expression, you can sense the annoyance through his voice.
Your eyes widen at the reminder. “Oh shit, yeah, I did, sorry” you take the bag out of his hands. A nervous laugh escapes your mouth. “I forgot about this, sorry, thank you” The man walks back to his bike and rides away. You swear you saw him roll his eyes before he left.
You head to the kitchen and set the bags down on the dining table. Jaehyun following your steps behind you.
“Sorry, um, were you going to say something?” You turn around, but not realising Jaehyun is right behind you which makes you jump a little.
“Not really, I was going to do this.” Jaehyun cups your cheeks and kisses you with so much passion and love.
You pull away from him, trying to catch your breath. “O-Oh o-okay, that’s even better.”
“You’re so cute when you get flustered.” Jaehyun snickers.
“I do not get flustered.” you protest to him, as you start taking out the food from the bags with a pout on your face. After a few seconds of silence, you mumble to yourself “It’s the 'Jeong Jaehyun effect' I suppose”.
“What did you just say?” Jaehyun smirks.
“N-Nothing, nothing!” shaking your head and clearing your throat.
As soon as you put everything out, Jaehyun takes both your hands in his and pulls you in closer to him. Not even a space left between your bodies.
“I love you.” Jaehyun says as he looks at you with so much love in his eyes. Even if you’ve heard those words from him before, there’s something different about it now. It’s like all his love for you from his heart and soul, is poured out onto those 3 words. It meant so much more to you both now.
You smile at him before tip-toeing slightly to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “I love you too.” You could feel yourself turning into a tomato after doing that. Jaehyun’s ears also turn the same shade.
“I know it might be a bit late but, Happy New Year, Y/N”
Shaking your head, “It’s never too late.” You remove your hands from Jaehyun before cupping the sides of his face, your thumbs rubbing his cheeks gently with his hands finding their way on your waist. He nuzzles against your touch. Both of you have the biggest smile on your face.
“Welcome home, Jaehyun”
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masterlist
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© 2022 nctinthehouse — All Rights Reserved.
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smoll-tangerine · 15 hours ago
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Hi! Congrats on your one year milestone! Can I request a popular boy!jaehyun x nerd reader with the prompt “I’m asking if you love me too.” ? Thank you and I hope you have good energy the whole week!
[a/n]: hi anon, thank you so much!! i hope you have good energy for the year of 2022!! can't believe it's been a whole year lmao and thanks for sticking with me and my shenanigans!! ♡ i had so many ideas for this scenario, and i decided to go with the fluffy route instead of my initial angst one. enjoy!!
PAIRING. popular fratboy!jaehyun x nerd!female reader GENRES. romance, fluff, established relationship!au, college!au PROMPT. "i'm asking if you love me too." WORDS. 842
WARNING. mentions of drinking
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It was almost like an unspoken rule.
Neither you nor Jaehyun hid your relationship from your peers, but neither did you really talk about it with your respective circle of friends.
Basically, your relationship was never a topic of discussion amongst your university peers. Or at least, not within Jaehyun’s presence. You were unsure if it was due to your popularity – or your lack thereof – that people seemed to act as if your presence was nonexistent and would have no shame in gossiping about you and your relationship blatantly in front of you.
You supposed that was something that came with dating Jaehyun. Not only was he a brother of one of the most popular fraternity houses, his social skills, charisma, and good looks easily made him one of the most popular guys on campus.
You, on the other hand, were the complete opposite of your boyfriend.
You wouldn’t call yourself unattractive – beauty was subjective, in your opinion – but you just didn’t thrive for the same things as Jaehyun. You didn’t mind just passing your four years of university as the random studious girl in people’s classes. Only you were perhaps the smartest person in your grade, if not, your whole department, and that was how you ended up becoming Jaehyun’s tutor, and eventually his girlfriend.
He was a popular guy – that much, anyone could tell – but his popularity never really hit you until you were in his setting, in his frat house, attending his frat house party, and you noticed just how many people would steal him away because they hadn’t seen him in so long. It was a side of him that you’d never really got to know.
(You also didn’t miss the meaning behind their glances whenever they mentioned to Jaehyun that they hadn’t seen him around in a while. They probably blamed you for Jaehyun’s lack of attendance.)
You remained in Jaehyun’s room and decided to go over your class notes of the week. While there was a party ongoing outside of his room, the music wasn’t deafening. With your focus, it was easy for you to block out any noises, which was why you didn’t notice Jaehyun entering his own room.
“Oh!” you exclaimed when you felt his lips press against the back of your neck. You quickly turned away from his desk and saw Jaehyun smiling down at you, and you smiled back. “Hi, there.”
“Hello,” he mumbled with a drunken, kind of dopey, smile.
You laughed at your boyfriend and helped him to his bed. “Are you drunk?”
“Nooooo,” he replied with a pout. When you finally got him in his bed, Jaehyun opened his arms to you and beckoned you over. “Come cuddle with me.”
You were actually planning to finish studying before joining him in his bed. You usually were pretty strict with yourself when it came to your studies, but you could feel your determination waver as Jaehyun continued to plead with you with his puppy eyes and dimpled cheeks. With a small sigh, you went into Jaehyun’s arms.
Jaehyun instantly tightened his arms around you and tucked you under his chin. He gave you a small kiss on the top of your head before continuing to hold you tight. You chuckled at how childish he was acting.
“Babe, I’m not going anywhere,” you told him. “Why are you holding me so tight?”
He moaned a little as the alcohol probably caught up to him and he was now sleepy. “I dunno,” he said as his words slurred a little, “it just feels like, if I don’t hold you tight, then you’re going to slip away from me or something.”
Maybe everyone out there knew Jaehyun, but you knew a side of Jaehyun that no one else seemed to know. You hoped that it remained that way.
“...you,” he mumbled with his eyes closed. But then his brows furrowed and he opened one of his eyes before asking you, “Why are you not saying it back?”
You quickly blinked. “Sorry, Jae, I got lost in my thoughts. What did you just say?”
He shook his head lazily. “S’okay, it’s one of the things I love about you… the way you kind of drift off… with that dreamy look… and your eyes… they look as if… they got the whole galaxy in them… not just stars.”
You looked up at him with a curious look. “Since when were you such a poet?”
“Mhm, anyway… I said I love you.”
Oh.
“And I’m asking if you love me too.”
Without even hearing your answer, Jaehyun fell asleep, his light snores filling the room. You quickly refrained yourself from laughing too hard, afraid that you might wake him up from his slumber.
You pushed yourself on your elbows and then kissed him on his lips that were still pouty from earlier. Jaehyun looked so lovely, almost cherubic. And despite all your differences and people’s irrelevant opinions on your relationship, one thing was clear for sure.
“Of course I love you too, Jung Jaehyun.”
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sprinklesofktrash · 22 hours ago
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“You’re doing this too well” - j.jaehyun pt.2
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Pairings: Brother’s best friend! Jaehyun x fem! Reader
Warnings: language, sex, teasing, moaning, groaning, cock teasing, a little fluff in the end, Jaehyun being a cutie at the end ^.^
Word Counts: 1.2k
Summary: You came back for round two and it turns out to be a cute little relationship in the end.
Part 1
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You were waiting for Jaehyun for over two hours, you started to grow more impatient. You storm to your brother’s room where the two were busy yelling at the screen as they battle against some other players.
Jaehyun glances at you as he continues playing. “Oh hey, I forgot you existed” your brother quick remark made you hit him.
“Hey careful, this is a $200 headset,” he said as he push you away. You sat down behind him next to Jaehyun.
You rest your hand over his thigh and begin rubbing it. You mouth ‘I’m horny’. Jaehyun smirk and nodded but he kept playing.
“What are you even doing here?” Johnny ask you but his head was kept on the screen. 
“I want to watch you both play,” You said. Johnny scoffs, “you don’t even like it when we play, ‘you’re too loud” He said in a high pitch voice to mock you. You hit the back of his head. 
“Who are you rooting for us or these losers?” He asks, the sound of their fingers hitting the controller buttons filling the air. You ran over his cock. Jaehyun purses his lips as he looks down at your hand. 
“You both suck” you didn’t care at all but you kept teasing Jaehyun’s cock. 
“No, Jaehyun tell my sister how good of a team we make,” Johnny said enthusiastically. You look at Jaehyun, “Yeah Jaehyun, tell me.” You bit your lips as you unzip his jeans.
“A-ah,” His breath hitched as he felt your hand making contact with his hardened cock. “Cat got your tongue?” You whispered to him. Jaehyun bit his lips. 
“We actually beat a lot of teams before them, if Johnny would try harder we would’ve won already!” Jaehyun finally let out. You chuckle quietly, you notice Jaehyun was getting uncomfortable with your teasing when his friend is right there. 
You move his headset to the side, “come on or else I’ll fuck you right here” you kiss his ear. Jaehyun swallowed his saliva and nodded. 
“I’ll meet you, go” he whispered back. You nodded and left the room. You waited outside your brother’s room for Jaehyun.
The door swung open, Jaehyun smile when he saw you waiting for him. As soon as he closes the door you smash your lips against his. Jaehyun chuckles as he kisses you back.
Jaehyun lead you back to your room. You close the door behind you and push him into your bed. You giggle as you straddle over him.
“Shhh, Johnny going to hear” Jaehyun shush you. You gasp, “you didn’t complain earlier” you whispered back.
Jaehyun scoffs and cup your cheek and kiss you back. “What do you want to do baby?” He whispered in your ear. Your smile as you bit your lip.
“Depends, do you want to ruin your friendship with my brother or do you want to fuck me hard and my brother can hear me” You tease him as you grind over his hardened cock.
He traces his index finger over your lips and down to your neck. “I don’t fucking care, I just want you” he breathes out as he flips you over.
He took off your shorts along with your underwear. You giggle as you watch him unbuckle his belt. He kept his eyes on you.
You tease him by playing with yourself. You watch him take his pants off and throw them to the side. He begins pumping his hard cock with his hand. You flip the two of your over. So you straddle him again.
“Tell me you want me” he commended. You could feel his cock underneath you, waiting to put it inside of you.
“I fucking want you” you respond. Jaehyun smirk, showing his cute dimple. Jaehyun align his cock with your fold you went down on it earning two moans between the two of you.
“You wanted me so badly and now you got me” you lean into his ear. Jaehyun ran his hands over your back and begin thrusting back and forth on him.
Jaehyun groan as he felt you go in deeper. “Come on baby, I want to hear you moan” as you pick up for pace. Jaehyun grabs your neck and flips the two of you.
“You look so pretty taking my cock” he groan as he thrust inside of you. He grabs your thigh and pushes it against your chest, making him go deeper into you.
“You feel so good” he moans as he closes his eyes feeling yourself clenching around him. You grab his shirt pull him towards you, you kiss him hungrily.
Jsehyun’s tongue battling against yours while his hand roaming around your body. You felt him getting sloppy as you stare into his eyes. Jaehyun's breath got heavier as he felt he was about to come.
You stroke his cheeks with your thumbs and clench your walls making him groan. You felt him hitting your spot as you grip his shirt tighter. “I’m going to cum Jae” you moan. Jaehyun picks up his pace.
You grip your bedsheet tighter and close your eyes. You release yourself, Jaehyun pats your cheek to make you open your eyes to look at him.
Once he felt you dripping he lost his thrusts, “Fuck I think I love you” he whispered and came. He rested him on your shoulder. You stroke his brown locks and poke his dimple.
“So, you love me?” You ask, teasingly. Jaehyun chuckles, “what if I am?” He preps himself up to look at you.
“My brother wouldn’t like that” you touch his pink lips. “But what do you want?” He asks you. You swallowed down your saliva. You look at his eyes and his beautiful milky skin.
“I want to be with you,” you said softly. Jaehyun smile and leans in for a soft kiss.
Johnny bang on your door as you and Jaehyun snap your heads towards the door. “If you two love birds are done, it stopped snowing, let’s get shoveling,” he said behind the door.
You and Jaehyun look at each other and chuckle. You didn’t expect your brother to know about the two of you. It wasn’t like you two were hiding it anyways.
The two of you got changed and met your brother outside. It feels so awkward, your brother glaring at the two of you as you both step outside.
“First, I’m not mad at all. It’s Jaehyun, who wouldn’t want to hit that” your brother begins. You look up at Jaehyun who was behind you, smiling.
“Second of all, if you guys are planning to have sex, keep it down will you?” Johnny begins to shovel the snow on the sidewalk. “You nasties.”
“Third of all, if you ever disrespect my sister Jaehyun, I don’t care how good-looking you are, I’ll ruin that pretty face of yours” he pointed at Jaehyun with his shovel. Jaehyun put his hands up in defense.
“I got you, Johnny, I would never,” Jaehyun said as he pick up a shovel and help Johnny out. You watch the two of them try to shovel the same spot when there are more square feet to shovel.
“I love these two,” you said quietly and run into the two of them and tackled them on the snow.
“Chill! I got snow down my ass crack!” Johnny push you off him as you landed on Jaehyun. He waved at you. You lean in to give him a quick peck on his cheek.
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beanct · 20 hours ago
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‎‎‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎♡ pairing: Jaehyun x reader ‎‎‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎♡ genre: fluff ‎‎‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎♡ length: 157 words
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[06:55PM]
"It feels like a dream..."
Jaehyun whispered, pressing your foreheads together. You smiled, looking up at his face. Candlelight was flickering in his deep, loving eyes.
"What about this makes you think you're dreaming?" you asked. You gently stroked the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. He smiled shyly, and that sight was enough for you to feel warmth spreading across your chest.
"It's..." he looked down on your feet, just to look up and stare into your eyes a second later. "It's because I've dreamed about this before. I've dreamed about you."
You felt a shiver going down your spine, your heartbeat accelerating.
"And how do those dreams compare to reality?"
A deep chuckle rumbled in Jaehyun's chest. He raised one of his hands to stroke your cheek and connected your lips in a warm kiss. He took his time, pulling away only after you both got out of breath.
"They are no match."
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haikuun · 11 hours ago
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babygirl (teaser)
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SYNOPSIS; moving into a new campus, you expect new people, new surroundings, new things to learn about, and new things to experience. but never in a million years would you see yourself in a predicament wherein you're in a fling with professor, Nakamoto Yuta, and a very wealthy man named, Jung Jaehyun.
PAIRINGS; prof!yuta & ceo!jaehyun x fem!reader
GENRE; smut
INCLUDES; age gap (10 & 12 years) , two-timing , time leaps , fem & male receiving , degradation , public sex , fingering , unprotected sex , creampie , squirting , choking , angry sex , spanking
WORD COUNT; 10k words & counting..
RELEASE DATE; hopefully the first week of february ^^ if i finish it early, probably the last week of january.
TAGLIST; @mark-wife-renjun-whore @jjhmk
AUTHOR'S NOTE; in this teaser there's no mention of jaehyun but i swear he's here- if you guys want to be added to the taglist you can; comment here, send me an ask, or dm me!~ hope you guys look forward to it ♡ (gif not mine cttro)
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The hallway was bustling with countless boisterous students that never seem to take a break. Peace was never an option during free time and the students would abuse this time to do whatever they please.
It was an entropy and Yuta wanted an end to this. Before he could take action, the bell rings and the hallway slowly drifts into silence as students enter their designated rooms. It was peaceful and breathable again. Yuta didn't have to squeeze through smelly students to get to the lecture hall, instead he took his time and made his way over there.
The moment he opened the door, the students stood up like trained dogs and fell into silence. As much as Yuta misses checking in on other profs, Yuta forgot the power he had over these students.
Yuta flashes a smile and urges the students to take their seats. He settled his briefcase on the desk before he stood in front of said desk. With the support of his hands, Yuta leans on the desk while his hands grab onto it to keep himself from falling. He scans the room with a small smile on his face, as he plans on his next move.
As he stood there, you were in your seat mouth agape at the familiar face in front of you. Even though it was a quick glance, you could notice him from miles away. Now that you're here seeing his entire appearance, you can now put together your own opinion.
He's hot as fuck.
Clapping his hands together, Yuta was able to pull you out of your thoughts and put all of your attention on him. “Hello you rambunctious bunch, I'm Nakamoto Yuta and I'll be your chemistry professor for this block and semester.” Everyone greets him and Yuta simply smiles. “I studied in Oxford and I have a master's degree and a doctorate. If you have questions, ask me—I'd love to get to know each and every one of you but there are over forty people in this room. If you introduce yourselves one by one, we'd need more than an hour to do so. And we only have two hours, so let's make the most of it and dedicate all of it to learning.” The room was mixed with agreements and groans of displeasure that made the smile on his face grow. “Okay, if I call you, just state your name and answer my question, got it?”
After everybody agrees to his terms, Yuta fires up the first lesson. You weren't great at chemistry—in fact it was your least favorite from the lack of enthusiasm whenever your professor from your old university teaches. But Yuta was different. He thought the lesson so fervently that anyone would stay on their toes. Well for you at least.
The snores at the back was indication that indeed only you see it as that but you admire his teaching nonetheless. Somehow he made the lesson easier to digest and understand—it's probably from his overflowing passion or he's just born to be a professor.
Yuta would throw questions from time to time and you would raise your hand to none of them. Yuta was asking questions about a topic you hazily remember your previous professor talked about. But since you weren't exactly paying attention to him, answering these questions were difficult. This time when Yuta hurls a question, nobody raises a hand and coincidentally, you know the answer.
You meekly raise your hand, still adjusting to the new surroundings and people around you. Yuta immediately acknowledges you and nods in your direction. “Yes, you. Please state your name then your answer.”
Right after you stood up, you felt your feet sinking into the ground. Multiple gazes were piercing through you including Yuta's. For some reason, him staring at you made you more bothered. You could sense some sort of intimidating presence coming out of him and his stares and it was difficult for you to construct a sentence. If only you knew.
Every second it took you to think up the right words, was more time for Yuta to admire you. He wasn't piercing through you, he was staring at you with love drunk eyes. Every second you stood was an opportunity to mesmerize you longer. Innocent looking eyes, a small face, and full lips, it's like you're yelling at him to like you.
Once you state your name and answer, Yuta's little observation session has commenced. “Okay, thank you Ms. Y/N for your answer. Now back to the topic.”
Yuta bores away the class with his lesson while you were on your toes and attentively listened to him. The next questions he laid out, you find yourself raising your hands more. Not because you wanted his attention, but because you actually knew the answers to it. Yuta didn't mind calling you three times in a row. It may look suspicious but the other students didn't really give a shit.
What finally felt like an eternity, the lesson has come to an end and the ring of the bell fuels up the drowsy students. As Yuta collects his things, he could see from his peripheral view that you were still there. Yuta looked up to fact check it, and it was true. You were still there, searching for something.
This piques Yuta's interest and he couldn't stop himself from walking over to you. “Is everything alright, Ms. Y/N?”
Your soul jumps out of your skin at the sudden mention of your name. You looked over your shoulder and saw your professor looking over your shoulder to get a glimpse on what you're on about. You flash a smile at him and shake your head dismissively. “Oh, it's nothing. I dropped my pen earlier and I'm just looking for it.”
Yuta could only nod at your statement before he stuffs his hands into his pockets. As you turn your head from side to side, Yuta observes you once again and notices the subtle difference on your uniform. “Oh, you're a scholar?” Yuta points out the logo of the school that had a different colored banner that was different from the other students.
“Oh,” you yourself just noticed this difference and you couldn't help but smile sheepishly. “Y-Yeah, I am.”
Yuta nods once again, poking the inside of his left cheek before remarking, “I actually handle the scholars in this university. I track them, making sure their grades are on point and I also make the decision on who deserves the scholarship or not—on behalf of the school of course.”
You flash a smile at him and give him a quick bow. “Thank you so much for granting me this scholarship. I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for it.”
Yuta smiles back and tries to cut off the amount of credit that's been put upon him. “No, no. You did well on the test, so you did it. Just make the school proud m'kay? You're a role model student.”
You began the search again after Yuta had no further topics to bring. “Ah, there it is!” You said out of the blue at the sight of your missing possession. You bent down, back facing Yuta and lowered yourself on all fours.
Yuta would be lying if he said he didn't look at your ass—in fact, he stared at it. His tongue swiftly brushes past his bottom lip as he looks at the great view of your ass. Your skirt ended a few inches from covering your actual ass. If you could go low and further, Yuta might've got a glimpse of it.
But when you retrieve your pen and get back up, Yuta quickly averts his eyes from your bottom and fixes his gaze on the ceiling. Once you were standing back in your feet and faced him, Yuta looked back at you with a small smile.
“Go on, skedaddle. You don't want to be late for your next class.” Yuta urges, even helping you clear out your desk.
“Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I'll see you next time.” You shyly yet hurriedly walk away from the lecture hall. Cheeks tinged with pink after you realize that you were left alone with one of the hottest men in the campus.
Yuta watches you run off and he couldn't help but smile to himself.
“God, I might fuck her.”
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marklilies · 2 days ago
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pairings: jaehyun x fem!reader || wc: 1k || warnings: implied abd*ction, hallucination
a gust of icy wind rushes at your face as you step out of the airport, luggage in hand.
you roll your baggage to the queue for a taxi.
beside you, an older woman makes conversation. “such terrible weather, hmm?”
you nod subconsciously, staring out into the dark night.
the sky is completely black, carpeted with thick storm clouds that form layer upon layer of gloom over the city. no lightning, no thunder. just sleets of rain pouring down from the fields of elysium above, every drop of rain hitting the pavement like nails on chalkboard.
it’s cold.
“what brings you here, miss?” the woman asks, her voice clear despite the rhythmic drumming of the rain on the metal shelter above you. the curls of her red hair cascade past her shoulders, blending into her maroon cardigan.
you shake your head solemnly, wistfulness in your eyes. “business,” you whisper, your response almost drowned out by the noise around you. you swallow hard.
‘business’, you said. is that synonymous with needing to leave everything behind to keep it all safe?
more under the cut!
your job brings you on dangerous escapades. you know this. it’s what drew you to it in the first place—the promise of adventure, the temptations of excitement and novelty.
but what happens when you fall in love? with your childhood best friend, no less?
jaehyun is the only person in the whole world you trust enough with your secrets. he’s the only person who knew about your missions, your training, and he never told.
all your life, jaehyun has been by your side, your partner-in-crime, your confidante, your ride-or-die. and all your life, you’ve known that one day, he would be the one.
the one who would steal your first kiss behind the christmas tree at the family’s christmas party. the one who would carry you home in his arms after the white veil ceremony, to lie next to you on your shared bed. the one who would hold your hand and kiss your forehead the most gingerly when the nurses brought in a tiny little bundle of human to you.
you lived together in bliss. not always perfect, not always happy, but you knew there would be no one else you would rather be with.
then things got bad.
jobs went awry, crew went missing. one by one, every member of your organisation was picked and disposed of, each disappearing without a trace. then the ones closest to them, they would mysteriously vanish, too.
the world you lived in and cherished was in chaos.
you’d lay awake all night in jaehyun’s arms, twirling a strand of his hair between your fingers as you thought about what you were going to do.
one night, you made up your mind. you’d packed your luggage, and spent the whole day with your family and friends, making the memories you know they’d want.
then at two in the morning, when everyone was dead asleep and the night was filled with the silence of peace, you slipped out from between the sheets, fully dressed.
you’d already kissed your daughter.
now for the hardest part.
“jae, my sweet, sweet jae, i need to go away, okay? just for a little while. i’ll be back, i promise,” you whispered against his forehead, lips moving against his glowing skin.
“just… try to find someone who can make our daughter happy, okay? please,” your voice broke, “i’m sorry.”
tears rolled down your cheeks like the last of the morning dew. he looked so tranquil, asleep like that.
“i’m really sorry, jae. i love you.”
with your final words to him, your heart shattered, and you left one last kiss on his nose.
as the door opened and closed with your departure, the light from the crack in the door illuminated a single tear under jaehyun’s lashes.
now you stand here in this line with the woman at your side. she’s oblivious to the broiling emotions below the surface, and continues on about her life.
you can’t bring yourself to listen, instead focusing on holding back the tears that threaten to fall at the blink of an eye.
finally you reach the front of the queue. the lady has long stopped her chatter, having become aware of the fact that you aren’t paying her any attention.
you swing open the door of the blue taxi cab, sliding your luggage onto the seat before sitting yourself down next to it.
where you were previously, the taxis were yellow.
“where to?” the taxi driver makes eye contact with you in the rear view mirror. the corners of his eyes are lined with the folds of his skin, contributing to his weary aura.
“48 traxiol drive, thank you very much,” you reply. he takes a second glance at you in the mirror.
your voice carries the exhaustion he’s learnt to recognise in his own.
without another word, the driver steps on the gas pedal, and the taxi’s wheels begin rolling over the smooth tarmac.
you are so tired.
all of a sudden, jaehyun’s voice rings out. “have a rest, y/n.”
he squeezes your hand three times, and you know it’s going to be a long road.
you look over and see his small, warm smile, his dimpled cheeks inviting you to sleep on his lap.
you miss him.
you place your head on his shoulder, and he puts an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. the heat radiating from his body warms you even in the midst of the storm.
“i love you,” jaehyun buried his face in your hair and whispers against your scalp. you hear this just as you fall asleep, and all is well, for jaehyun is here.
— time skip —
“ma’am? ma’am, we’re here,” the cab driver rouses you gently from your dreamless rest.
bleary-eyed, you sit up, hands cold. rubbing your eyes, you look to your right. “jae, we’re here—”
he’s not beside you.
you are alone.
all you can see is the dripping of raindrops down the taxi window.
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© marklilies, 2021. all right reserved.
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taglist: @jensrose, @neocuddlytechnology, @moontines, @tarosaurus, @i-m4rk, @moonsclover
networks: @kflixnet, @/ficscafe
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duhnova · a day ago
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every lie you type - johnny suh or jeong jaehyun
warnings!!!!: mentions of death, death by alcohol, mentions of abuse.
⤷ synopsis. y/n is a first year psychology student who is a helpless romantic, johnny is a second year photography student who has a messed up view on love after a toxic relationship and nasty breakup with his ex. when the two meet they instantly click and their future together is looking bright until someone from the past comes back and tears them apart. now everything is messed up and johnny has to work to fix his mistakes before it becomes to late.
⇤ | funeral | masterlist | ⇥
tag list || @imagining-constantly @youngholuvb0t @daegalfangirl @le-chenle @samsemsame @atinysparkle @coffee-prince-kyungsoo @jj-ms @hibuki-chan @kimjngws @rikisnotforsale @diestheticu @lilacdreams-00 @notbeforelong @butterfliesinthenightsky @dear-mllelily @notmejustmymind @celestiababie @dolceandtears @justineasian @bbymin23 @noonaishere @bobrouxsky @moonwalkun @ahtisa02 @simplicitysbabe @suhspage @jkprkerz @channielovbot
* feedback is greatly appreciated! *
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kpoptrashlord-007 · 2 days ago
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I guess since @writeformesinpie posted about it already, I’ll have to actually commit. We’re having a little competition to each post 6 fics between January 17th and 22nd. Having picked the bands then subsequent idols at random, we’ll be using my Valentine’s Day Prompts for inspo. Here are the ones I’m doing!
BTS ;; Jungkook ;; Yandere ;; Heart-Shaped Box
Enhypen ;; Jay ;; Fluff ;; Candy Hearts
EXO ;; Baekhyun ;; Yandere ;; Purple Bruises
NCT 127 ;; Jaehyun ;; Smut ;; Black Silk
Stray Kids ;; Bang Chan ;; Smut ;; ??
TWICE ;; Jihyo ;; Fluff ;; Pink Envelope
The prompts are subject to change but the genre and idol probably won’t. 
Please look forward to our works! <3
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anashins · a month ago
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Sleep Well, Princess
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Title: Sleep Well, Princess
Pairing: Jaehyun x You (feat. brother!Taeyong)
Genre: age gap, big brother's best friend au, angst, drama, fluff, romance, slow burn, smut
Warnings: six year age gap, unprotected and kind of public sex (no worries, nothing rated will involve minors!)
Word Count: 12.5k
Summary: When you were six, you developed a crush on your older brother's best friend. When you were thirteen, you fell head over heels in love with him. When you were sixteen, you decided to wait for when the time was right. When you were nineteen, he rejected you.
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The first memory you had of Jeong Jaehyun was that of a warm summer evening when you encountered an unfamiliar boy sitting at your terrace.
You had hurried back home from your friend’s house, eager to make it for dinner on time, but when you had arrived, your entire family was gathered in the garden, eating watermelon with a boy you had never seen before.
“That’s Jaehyun!” your older brother Taeyong had introduced him. “He’s new in town and my classmate!”
Jaehyun had worn the brightest smile, the corners of his lips smeared with leftover watermelon that let his skin glisten with sweet juice. You hadn’t even been able to clearly hear the words he was directing at you, that was how full his mouth was.
When you had sat down next to your twelve-year-old brother on the stairs, munching on your watermelon like everyone else, you were watching this new boy Jaehyun from the corner of your eyes, your pupils wanting to stay fixated on the fruit, but still going astray eventually.
He was as tall and slim as your older brother, wearing similar clothes, having similar haircuts, and even speaking and laughing in a similar manner. If anything, they could pass as brothers.
But for your real brother, as a matter of fact, you didn’t want to look at him for so long. But for your brother, you didn’t want him to look back at you. But for your brother, your cheeks didn’t flush so much in his presence.
“My, my!” Taeyong had laughed. “I think my sister has a crush on you!”
You had smacked him so hard, your fingerprints were still visible on his arm later that night. That was one of the downsides of being so close to a sibling: they could read you like an open book. There was nothing you could hide from them.
You had wanted to disappear right there and then, convinced to currently experiencing the most embarrassing moment of your young life so far. You hadn’t even known Jaehyun for half an hour, yet you were labelled as the annoying little sister probably.
But Jaehyun had only laughed, nothing more. And just like that, the topic had been swept under the rug to never be addressed again.
Most children experienced their first crush at the age of five.
You had been six at that time.
Throughout the years, you had not only watched your brother grow, but Jaehyun as well as they became the bestest of friends.
His height had shot upwards so that he was now even towering your brother by a few inches. He had built muscles that were becoming more apparent through his clothings. His face had gotten more expressive features after maturing in his teenage years.
You had been crushing on your brother’s best friend for as long as you could think of.
And then, he broke your heart.
____
When You Were 7
“Yongie! Yongie!”
You ran into the living room, the pink tulle rustling with each step of yours as the wand of the same color swung in your hands when you entered through the door and found your brother sitting on the couch, playing a video game on the big TV.
“Yongie! How do you find my dress?”
Your brother shifted around. “A new princess dress? Looks amazing on you, sis!”
“Right?!” You smiled brightly. “I’m a princess!”
The moment you encountered Jaehyun next to him though, you stopped in your tracks and looked at his best friend, frozen.
You hadn’t been aware that he was here, even though on the weekends, he usually always was. Yet, you suddenly felt so foolish and childish in your pink princess gown with the magic wand, imagining yourself to reign in a non-existent country.
Jaehyun was thirteen years old, of course he would only laugh at little girls who played dress up, especially as princesses.
Slowly, your hand that was holding the wand sank to your side along with your head, and all the sparks from your eyes vanished when it dawned on you that it would probably make Jaehyun think of you sillily when he saw this overly childish side of yours.
“How’s your country called, princess?”
You turned keen-eared upon hearing his words. Immediately, your head shot up and you locked gazes with him, his expression only radiating kindness with the soft smile that he was addressing at you.
Princess.
He had called you princess!
“It’s called ‘Phantasia’!” you announced proudly. “I’m the reigning princess!”
“Well, princess… Where is your crown? A princess usually wears a crown, right?”
“Oh…” You touched your head as though you had placed it there the moment before. “I broke it the last time…”
“No worries. A true princess doesn’t need a crown to make her whole.”
For the rest of the day, you felt like walking on clouds. No one was able to take away what Jaehyun had said to you earlier, and you were even still grinning when your mother read a goodnight story to you later that night.
The weekend after that, Jaehyun was over at your house again.
Taeyong had told you that he was living with his grandfather as his parents were doing business abroad, and whenever possible, the old man needed rest, so Jaehyun spent most of his free time at your house. Your brother didn’t mind, and you were surely the last one to object to this arrangement.
“This is for you, princess.”
You were sitting on the terrace when Jaehyun suddenly appeared in front of you, carrying something in his hand that you weren’t able to clearly see against the sunlight. A moment later, you felt a light pressure on your head.
When your fingers reached up and touched an edgy plastic object on top of your head, you instantly knew what it was without needing to take it off and inspect.
You got so excited, you were sure you were going to burst with bliss.
It was a crown.
“A crown doesn’t make you a princess as you already are one,” Jaehyun explained. “But it’s still nice to have some validation every now and then, right?”
You refused to take off the silver plastic crown with the pink jewels for the next weeks without a single break, even adamant to wear it during bathtime and to sleep until your mother got so sick and tired of it that she took it away and threatened to never give it back to you unless you came back to your senses.
Since then, the crown sat enthroned on top of your drawer so that you had a good look at it from all corners in your room.
It was your biggest treasure.
A month later, Taeyong had his first big party, and of course, all his friends came over, including Jaehyun.
Since his gathering had started during your bedtime, your mother had forbidden you to go downstairs as you should be asleep already, but you were so excited for the event to take place that two hours later, you were still wide awake.
You were listening to the boys’ voices from the ground floor as you peeked through your door and slowly crawled to the very top of the stairs to catch a glimpse at the guests downstairs. But you saw nothing yet, so you sneaked to crouch on the first step.
When you still weren’t able to get even the slightest insight into the happenings, you decided to go down another step in your crouching position, but in the process, you lost your balance so that you suddenly slipped and fell down the rest of the stairs with loud rumbling.
“Ouch!” you let out, feeling all your muscles and bones ache when you finally came to a standstill.
“Taeyong, someone fell down the stairs!”
You were lying on the ground, many pairs of eyes directed at you from above when you opened your lids, but even among all these faces with your head still dizzy, you were able to make out Jaehyun’s features in the corner.
“Let me through, that’s my sister!”
You felt your body getting lifted up and stabilized by the strong arms of your brother.
“Sis, are you okay?” Taeyong was touching your arms, feet, head, and then your upper body. “Thank god, nothing seems to be broken! Are you alright? Is your head okay? We have to make sure that you didn’t get a concussion from the fall! Come with me.”
Your brother carried you in his arms to the couch, the music having come to a pause, and all the gathered boys’ faces were directed at you. The entire situation suddenly got so embarrassing for you, and if your mother would find out, you’d get one hell of a rebuke!
“It’s okay!” you tried to brush it off. “I’m okay!”
You wanted to jump from the couch when a familiar voice suddenly instructed, “Sit still.”
Jaehyun gave Taeyong a frozen pack of pears that your brother then pressed on the back of your head.
“Look at me.”
That was easy. You weren’t able to look at anything or anyone other than Jaehyun anyway. You got lost in his deep, brown eyes that were always so soft but now so serious. He lifted a finger in front of you.
“Follow my motions.”
You nodded and moved your eyes to the right and left, then back, and then to the right and left again as he wanted.
“How many fingers do you see?”
“Three.” Pause. “One.” Pause. “Four.”
“Does something else hurt besides your head on which you have fallen?”
You shook your head. “Only my limbs and back from the fall. But it’s subsiding.”
“She’s all right,” Taeyong then stated. “Thank god.” He put the pack of pears in your hand. “Then I can scold you now! What were you thinking, lurking on the stairs in the middle of the night in the absolute dark?!”
“I wanted to… The kitchen… water... I-” you stuttered, starting to tremble all over as you got so overwhelmed with the entire situation.
“It’s okay,” Jaehyun interrupted him. “It’s late, she just hurt herself… Just leave it be. How about we get you a glass of water and then I’ll bring you back upstairs, okay y/n?”
Like in a trance, you nodded. You couldn’t believe what he had just offered. “Okay.”
“Then continue serving your guests, Taeyong, I’ll be right back.”
You held onto Jaehyun’s warm hand when you followed him up the stairs back into your bedroom. He had never been here before, and suddenly, you wished your room was a bit more tidied up and your plushies wouldn’t be as scattered as usual.
But Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind as he placed the glass of water on your nightstand while you slipped under your blanket.
“Everything okay? Nothing hurts, right?”
You nodded. “I’m alright.”
“Then, I’m glad.”
Relief resonated in his tone, and his eyes only averted for a second, but this single second was long enough for him to notice something at the other side of the room.
“The crown,” he remarked. “It’s there.”
“Of course,” you answered triumphantly. “It’s my biggest treasure!”
“Then take care of it well.” Jaehyun smiled, walked to the door and switched off the lights. “Sleep well, princess.”
“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”
After he had closed the door, you still thought about the events for a long time, even when the voices downstairs vanished one by one. The touch of his hand embracing your fingers remained until the next morning.
You were seven and crushing on Jaehyun.
____
When You Were 10
You were regularly spending your summer breaks at your grandparents’ house by the seaside, and since Jaehyun couldn’t visit his parents in the US this time as they were too busy with their business, you had decided to tag him along with you.
“Yongie, look!” you called for your brother. “My side is already this big!”
Taeyong sat up and looked over the pile of sand to get a glimpse at your construction. “Beat me, sis!”
“You have to hurry up, we have to finish first before mommy calls us for dinner!”
“Alright, alright,” he gave in with a laugh.
You were sitting there in the sand with your blue swimsuit and a straw hat, wanting to build the biggest sand castle this small seaside town had ever seen. But one person, who had volunteered to help, was still missing, even though he had excused himself quite a while ago already.
“Where is Jaehyun?” you asked your brother and looked around from under your hat. “We can’t get it done without him.”
“I don’t know.” Taeyong shrugged. “You wanna look for him? I have some catching up to do here, huh?”
“Okay!”
You arose from your spot and freed your legs and knees from the sand that had gotten stuck on your skin. It was a hot summer evening, and you would have to leave soon, but not without getting this sand castle done, you were very determined.
Walking to the toilets, you waited there for quite a bit, but Jaehyun wasn’t among the people leaving even five minutes later, so you made your way to the stalls where people were selling food, and indeed, Jaehyun stood there by a table. But he was not alone.
From afar, you spotted two girls who were with him, and it was obvious that they were head over heels for Jaehyun.
Somehow, this bugged you very much, your nails digging into the palms of your hands as you clenched them to fists. Jaehyun was only standing there, talking to them, but that was enough to get you sulking, and you didn’t even know why.
Stomping through the sand back to Taeyong, you still weren’t able to get the picture with him and the two girls out of your head.
“Hey sis, look I’m this far al-”
You jumped into the nearly finished sand castle and walked all over the construction.
“Hey! All the hard work is now gone to waste!” Taeyong complained in disbelief.
“I don’t care! I wanna go home!”
“Did something happen?” he asked you gently as you flopped down on the pile of sand and crossed your arms, pulling the straw hat deep into your face.
“No.”
“Why the sudden mood change then?”
“Whatever. Can we just go home?”
“We have to wait for Jaehyun.”
“No, we can just go without him.”
Taeyong deeply sucked in a rush of air and sat down in the sand right next to you. “I know when something happened and you don’t want to tell me, sis. We’re siblings. We just feel it.”
You wanted to scream from the top of your lungs, not being able to sort these controversial feelings into anywhere as you had never experienced anything like it before.
“We don’t need to wait for Jaehyun as he already has company,” you pressed through gritted teeth.
“Who?”
“Girls.”
“Mhm… I see.”
Only the sound of the sea was audible to you as you continued sitting quietly next to each other, counting the sand grains to your feet.
“Jaehyun is a good looking, sixteen year old guy. Nobody can withhold him from talking to girls or girls coming to him in the first place,” your brother then opened the conversation. “You’ve grown up with the two of us, sis. Of course you’d get attached to him too and view everyone else as a threat to your relationship with him. But him talking to other girls besides you is normal, and you gradually have to accept this.”
You continued to sulk, but as his words slowly dawned on you, you started to make sense of these feelings as well.
“Remember when I brought my female friend home one day and you were on our nerves the rest of the time she was there?”
Of course you remembered. You had been jealous that his entire attention was directed at her only, even though usually, he spent his free time with you.
You hadn’t talked to him the entire next day.
Oh.
“For me, you’ll always be my little sister. Even when I get a girlfriend or will be married one day, you will come first for me.” These words made you smile amongst the chaos within you. “One day, Jaehyun will find someone he loves and wants to spend his life with as well, and this person will be the number one for him - just like you are for me.”
“And why can’t I be that person?”
Taeyong chuckled and his arms wrapped around you for a comforting embrace. “Because you are my person already.”
“And if I want to change that person?”
You laughed out loud together now.
“You wouldn’t want someone to keep us apart as well, right?”
“Of course not!”
Taeyong stopped laughing. “Then you must realize that you can’t act to Jaehyun this way.”
Turning serious again, you inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to be a nuisance to him.”
“You’re not, sis. But if you keep feeling and acting this way, you’re on the verge of being. But don’t worry, you’ll always hold a special place in Jaehyun’s life. I know.”
Somehow, this reassurance from Jaehyun’s best friend calmed you down. In the end, he was the person who knew him the best.
“Hey you two.”
You both looked up, and you had to blink a few times before you recognized Jaehyun in front of you. Speak of the devil.
“I’m sorry that it took me so long,” he apologized. “Some girls wouldn’t let me go, even though this entire time, I was afraid the ice cream would melt. But I still made it on time, I hope.” He held a popsicle right in front of you. “Here, for you.”
“For… me?” you wanted to make sure, and he nodded.
With care, you took the popsicle into your hand.
“What about me?” Taeyong asked.
“Get your own one.”
“Unfair!”
With sparkling eyes, you stared at the popsicle. The sweet liquid was already dripping on your fingers and on the sand underneath you, but you didn’t mind. Amidst everything, he had brought this to you.
“Thank you,” you said gratefully.
“Of course,” Jaehyun smiled.
When you came out of the bathroom after having showered, you passed by Taeyong’s room where he and Jaehyun were residing during your stay. You wanted to barge in to say goodnight before you went to bed, but stopped when you overheard them talking heatedly.
“What about the girls from before?” your brother asked. “You gonna meet them? They were from Seoul too, right?”
“Of course not. You know I’m not going to date anyone.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy your youth.”
You heard Jaehyun laugh. “Yeah, not now. Maybe later.”
Somehow, it set your mind at ease. With a fluttering heart, you walked inside the room and told them, “Goodnight, guys!”
“‘Night, sis.”
“Sleep well, princess.”
You were ten and now knew what jealousy meant.
____
When You Were 13
It was your first time trying to use eyeliner as you stood in the bathroom, painting the black line along your right lid.
“Oh no!” you then exclaimed, having miscalculated the angle again and now in the process of making this line thicker than the one on your left lid. “I’ll never get it right…”
In the end, you considered yourself satisfied with what you had gotten right and put a bit of your mother’s lipstick and blush on. Throwing kisses and posing in front of the mirror, you threw your hair back and forth, inspecting your reflection from every side.
Not flawlessly perfect, you thought, but close to it.
In two inch heels, you walked out of the bathroom with your cutest dress on. From downstairs, you could already hear your brother shouting to your mother across the room that he was taking her car now, so you knew you didn’t have much time left before he’d leave.
“Taeyong!” you called after him, coming down the stairs with rather shaky steps and much slower than you intended. “Taeyong, wait! Can you take me with you and drop me off at Seulgi’s please?”
“Huh? Okay, then hurry up, Jaehyun is on hi-”
He stopped mid-sentence and watched you stop on the ground floor, not having recognized you at first glance.
“What did you do?” Taeyong then yelled, approaching you with hasty steps. “Why do you look like a panda? What’s with these dark eyes? That’s ridiculous!”
He wanted to touch your face, but you slapped his hand away. “That’s eyeliner! Everyone wears that nowadays!” you defended yourself.
“But not a thirteen year old!” he said indignantly. “And that lipstick? Is there a clown parade in the neighborhood I have to know about? Is that why you meet up at Seulgi’s? And what’s with these shoes? You can’t even walk in them! Did you get them from mom? They’re way too big!”
“Of course I can walk in them!” you yelled back at him. “Mind your own business, will you?!”
“You look entirely ridiculous, sis! Go dress yourself properly and wash your face at once! I’m not taking you with me if you look like this!”
“No way!” You stomped with your feet on the ground. “I can dress however I want!”
“Mom!” Taeyong then yelled louder. “Mom, come loo-”
“Knock, knock.”
You both turned around and encountered Jaehyun standing by the open entrance door.
“You didn’t hear me, so I thought I’d just go inside and then I saw you shouting at each other. What’s up even?”
“My sister is up!” Taeyong placed his hand on his forehead as though in exhaustion. “She decided to join the circus today, apparently! Just look at her!”
You felt tears welling up behind your eyes as Jaehyun’s gaze fell upon you. You had only wanted Taeyong to give you a ride, because he and Jaehyun were supposed to go to the sports court to play basketball this evening, and you wanted to take this chance to be close to his friend for a short while.
In a magazine from a classmate, you had read that women usually prettied themselves up before they met with a man they liked, and since your big brother’s best friend was the person you liked, you thought this also applied to you.
In the magazine, you had seen them not only wearing high heels, but also designer dresses and other pretty clothes. Their make up had made them look even more beautiful, and their hair was flowing in long locks over their shoulders.
You thought, for your age and skills, you didn’t look that bad. But in the eyes of 19-year-old boys, you apparently did look like a clown.
Without another word, you turned around and ran up the stairs. Your ankles hurt from all the twisting while walking, but you rather wanted to feel this physical pain instead of the emotional one Taeyong’s further words would make you experience.
You kicked the heels away in front of your bedroom and then disappeared to the inside, throwing yourself onto the bed with your clown face buried into the pillow. Rather than crying, you wanted to scream in anger. Only moments later, sadness kicked in.
You were only a child in these boys’ eyes, so your older brother was probably right. What did you even know? You most likely truly did look like a clown, having made a fool of yourself right in front of Jaehyun’s eyes.
Now, he would never look at you like a woman.
“Go away!” you then shouted as you heard it knock on your door. “I don’t want to talk to you!”
“It’s me.” Pause. “Jaehyun.”
Within a second, you were sitting straight on your bed, your expression lightening up until you realized that he was still your brother’s best friend and probably led a similar way of thinking.
“You don’t have to scold me as well. I know my lesson.”
“I didn’t come to scold you.”
You remained silent for a moment, but then consented, “Come in.”
Thick strands of your hair fell into your face, but you didn’t swipe them away to not have Jaehyun face your panda mien directly. You heard him closing the door behind him, then walking over to your bed.
“You know,” he started as he crouched down in front of you, “there was one thing I never quite understood. And that was how beautiful girls didn’t think they were already beautiful enough.”
You kneaded your fingers in nervousness, his voice clear enough for you to hear, but they didn’t seem to get through your head right away.
“I’ve known you since you were little, y/n. I know how you look when you’ve just woken up, I know how you look when you’re tired, I know how you look when you’re soaked with water… I know all of your faces. And if you don’t want to believe your family, then believe me that you don’t need any makeup to look pretty.”
Your heart jumped a little with each compliment he directed at you. It was the first time that a boy had told you that he found you pretty. And even though you knew Jaehyun only said it to you to appease and simultaneously encourage you, it was enough to force your sadness into a corner.
“But those idols and models in magazines, they also wear makeup and these clothes. Why shouldn’t I also be allowed to feel prettier?” You now had enough courage to look up at him, still reluctant to smile.
“Because…” Jaehyun touched your cheek in a reassuring manner, growing a smile. “You’re still too young to think that you can only go outside when you’re wearing makeup.”
“I won’t think that!”
“Really?” He raised a brow. “Once you start, you will get used to that new face of yours and won’t feel pretty or confident enough naturally. Of course, every woman can wear as much makeup as they want. But I don’t want a young girl like you to think she has to alternate the way she looks already. It feels so wrong.”
From your nightstand, he pulled out tissues from the box and then wiped over your mouth. His gentle gesture was a great contrast to the lightning zapping through your body whenever his fingers closed to your lips, even with the fabric in between.
You stared at him, frozen on the spot, and Jaehyun continued smiling. “If you cannot embrace yourself right now, how will it be later on?”
Letting his words sink in, you had to acknowledge their accuracy. “When can I try then? When I’m older?”
“Well...” He withdrew his hand, the tissue smeared with red color. “When you realize that you don’t need any of it. At all times.”
Not the answer you expected, but you were still content. You helped him wipe over your eyes, turning you into a human again instead of a panda.
“And Taeyong holds the same opinion, trust me,” Jaehyun added when he threw the tissues into the trash can. “He was only shocked to see his little sister so dressed up, like an adult. He just didn’t voice it very well. It’s like that when you have overprotective, big brothers, hm?”
When you followed Jaehyun downstairs, dressed in your usual clothes with no trace of makeup left anymore, Taeyong was already waiting by the stairs, his expression turning from an anxious to a relieved one when he saw you.
“‘’scuse me,” he murmured.
“Me too,” you murmured back to him.
And just like that, like it always was among siblings, the fight was never addressed again.
You rode with Taeyong and Jaehyun to your friend Seulgi, and the smile Jaehyun threw at you when you turned back and waved at them made up for everything that had happened in the past hour.
It was nearly bedtime for you later that night when you sat on the couch in the living room as Taeyong and Jaehyun walked through the entrance door together.
In your pink pajamas, with your hair sticking out to all sides, you probably wouldn’t make it into a fashion magazine. But after Jaehyun’s reassuring words, you weren’t worried about these things anymore as you met his approving gaze when the both of them flopped down to the left and right of yours.
“How was your match?” you asked them.
“I totally destroyed Jaehyun!” Taeyong called him out loudly. “Right?”
“Only by one point,” Jaehyun grumbled.
“In all games!”
You laughed along with them when you heard your mother call you from upstairs to go to bed. You then jumped off from the couch and ran to the stairs.
“Goodnight!”
“G’night.”
“Sleep well, princess.”
You were thirteen and Jaehyun the only boy you had eyes for.
____
When You Were 16
“Where are you going?” Taeyong asked you from the couch, shifting away from the TV and around to you.
You had entered the living room in search of your other high heel, but still didn’t succeed in finding it, and you were already running late. You had dressed yourself in a nice outfit that the shoes would only complete, because tonight was a special occasion.
“On a date,” you deadpanned at your brother, your eyes scanning your left and right.
“Who is it? The guy who’s two years your senior again?”
“Yeah. Can you pick me up from the cinema later?”
He nodded. “Sure. I’ll be there at 11. If you’re not there by then, he’s dead meat.”
You rolled your eyes, but still couldn’t bite down a grin. “Shouldn’t you be studying for your university exams? Isn’t that why you’re spending the time at home? Instead, you’re worried about some high school boy.”
“Trust me, I know how high school boys are, sis, I was one myself,” Taeyong spoke with a serious tone. “Especially the ones in their last year are the worst.”
“Ugh, please, spare me from these stories!” You had seen girls entering and exiting your house more often than you wanted to remember when you had only been eleven. “Just pick me up at 11, okay?”
Taeyong laughed. “Alright, I’ll be there.”
Three hours later, you stood in front of the cinema, waiting for your brother with a sulky expression on your face, the rain mercilessly pouring down at you.
Only minutes later, a black car pulled up on the street in front of you, and you crossed the pavement from the cinema to the vehicle with your hands shielding your face from the rain as you opened the door and hopped inside.
“Thank for coming so qui-”
“Hey.”
The one sitting in the driver’s seat was not your brother though.
“Jaehyun?!”
“Surprise.”
You didn’t see him as often anymore after he had moved to Daejeon to study. Every now and then, he came to visit his grandfather or Taeyong though, and when they were in the mood, they stepped by at your house, but not as often as before and surely for not as long. You wished it would be different though.
Of course, you got it. They were university students now, not school boys anymore with other obligations and commitments in life while you were fully enjoying your teenage years. Jaehyun’s mind would be occupied with other things than visiting his best friend’s little sister.
Throughout the time, Jaehyun had only stayed that for you: a simple crush from your childhood that you admired from afar. And that hadn’t stopped you from meeting other people.
“What are you doing here?” you asked him, perplexed.
“My grandfather has been feeling unwell lately, so I’m staying with him for the week.”
That must have been a spontaneous decision due to an emergency you assumed, because the last time you had asked about Jaehyun, Taeyong hadn’t mentioned anything about it. Or he had simply forgotten due to the stress from university.
“I’m sorry about your grandfather,” you said. “I’m glad I got to see you at least, though.”
Throughout the veil of dripping leftover rain, a smile was visible on your face and Jaehyun audibly let out a rush of air as he started the car. “Taeyong sent me to pick you up as he quickly had to drop by his dorm and grab some books.”
“Ah okay, so he actually did start studying in the end.” You chuckled.
“I came back from the States only yesterday, so he and I haven’t been able to have a good chat yet. We’ll still be catching up though.”
“Have you visited your parents?” you asked him out of curiosity. “Is their company still doing well?”
“Yeah, kind of visiting and kind of learning from their success. I haven’t seen them for very long periods since studying at KAIST, so I took the opportunity to fly over there. And I have to get back when my grandfather is feeling better, ready to return to university for the final exams.”
“Sounds kind of exhausting, jetting between two countries and attending to your family’s duties. Are you alright?”
His eyes widened for a short moment, and you wondered whether you were the first person to ever ask this genuinely.
“I’m okay.” But feeling uncomfortable with the attention, Jaehyun then shifted it back to you. “What about you? How was your date?”
You replied to him, “One word: awful. I don’t think we’re going to continue dating.”
He furrowed. “But why?”
You were pondering whether you wanted to tell him or not as you were still reluctant to spill the entire story. But you knew how nagging Jaehyun could be, so you spared him the details and mainly delivered the necessary parts of the story which consisted of only,
“He can’t kiss, okay? At least I don’t think that’s how kissing is supposed to feel. And I don’t know whether it’s on me or him, but…” you breathed in deeply. “It’s just not working out. He’s the only boy I’ve ever kissed, so I don’t have a comparison, but whenever I think about kissing him, I just want to run away, because it feels so gross and wrong.”
You closed your eyes shut, not wanting to see his expression, but instead, you heard a very loud laughter.
“So funny, huh,” you asked ironically as you opened your eyes again.
“Oh to be a teenager again,” Jaehyun continued laughing.
You got very worked up over that topic. “What if that’s what kissing is like and I just don’t like it? Or what if I just… can’t kiss?”
The words were falling from your lips like an endless stream, and you only realized now that it was Jaehyun you were directing them at. You got so flustered, you wanted to jump out of the car right there and then.
“Well, y/n,” Jaehyun then began as you sank further into your seat as though it would suck you into a deep, black hole. Thank god you would be home in a few minutes. “I can assure you, kissing is indeed a blissful act, nothing that should gross you out or even feel wrong. And if it doesn’t work quite the way you want the first time around, you can only practice. But trust me, it’s an awesome way to express your feelings.”
“I wouldn’t know,” you conceded.
“Yet,” Jaehyun added. “Sometimes, two people just don’t match. That can happen, but don’t let this experience discourage you. One day, you’ll meet a guy, and everything will fall into place. Then, it will feel right. Then, you will think back about your date just now and laugh.”
“So… it’s okay if I tell him that we don’t make a good couple and end it? Over this topic only?”
“Of course. You definitely should if you feel this way. You don’t want to lead him on, right?”
“No, for sure not.”
As always, Jaehyun managed to encourage and cheer on you. It was just such a shame that he wasn’t around as often anymore.
“Hey Jaehyun…” He pulled up in front of your house. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”
Even in the semi-darkness of the car’s insides, you saw how his face brightened up. “Really? That plastic thing?”
“Exactly that.” As he brought his car to a stop, you unbuckled your seatbelt. “By the way… it’s sad that you’re not around as often anymore.”
“Yeah, I think so too. But I just have-”
“-so much to do,” you ended his sentence, the corner of your lips tilting down. “I know. Taeyong always says that as well when I ask about you.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “You do?”
You chuckled and turned to the door, aiming for the handle. “Almost every time when he comes home for the weekend. I think he gets sick and tired of my questions already, but I can’t help myself. When you have free time next summer, let’s go to the seaside again, okay? Good night then, Jaehyun.”
You waited for him to say his usual goodbye line, but as it didn’t come, you wanted to turn around and check on him. Before you could do so though, he had already wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pulled you back into your seat.
Rendered silent, you didn’t know what was happening around you as Jaehyun’s face suddenly hovered over yours, his gaze casting a spell over you, and you couldn’t look away anymore. Your heart was jumping irregularly against your chest, and you feared that he might hear how loud it was as blood rushed to your ears at the same time.
One of his hands found its way onto your cheek and rested there for a moment, letting you relish the warmth as his face drew closer to yours. You had kissed someone only an hour prior, yet you didn’t feel any pang of conscience as you became aware of what this situation implied if you continued.
But you didn’t stop and closed your eyes instead.
For all the time that Jaehyun was gone, you had thought your feelings constantly vanished little by little until they had entirely vanished, brushing them off as a light crush. But the truth was that they had been kept in control on a lukewarm blaze only, ready to inflame again when you were conscious enough to accept their meaning.
And your feelings were very much set aflame when his lips brushed over yours before he leaned in further and captured them fully, deepening the kiss. Parting your mouth in a gentle manner, you let him pass through with his tongue, your fingers searching for support by gripping onto his shirt.
This wasn’t like kissing the guy from before. This felt sweet, endearing and simply… right.
Jaehyun had told you the truth about kissing. It was a heartfelt act that made it possible to convey feelings that couldn’t or didn’t want to be expressed in another way.
The kiss slowed down only after minutes when you were sure that you would run out of breath soon as you still didn’t know how to align your breathing rhythm with the motions. You hoped he hadn’t minded.
“Sleep well, princess,” was what Jaehyun then said after he had pulled away.
You then stood there, in front of your house, totally flabbergasted, the warmth of his lips against yours still present as you touched that exact spot, realizing something very important in your life now. With idle steps, you made your way into the house, trying to sort out your thoughts.
You didn’t want that senior from school. Or another guy. And the reason it hadn’t worked out with him or wouldn’t with anyone else was because your heart would never fully be with them.
It had always only been with Jaehyun.
When Taeyong entered the house an hour later, you hadn’t moved from your spot at the kitchen table where you had taken a seat, staring into space. Your brother was only a shadow in the background you barely perceived as you had a hard time coming to a conclusion with your thoughts.
“How was it, sis? Do I have to beat that guy up?” he asked you.
“No,” you answered absent-mindedly. “It was nice, but I’m still going to stop seeing him, though.”
“Well, okay. Sucks for him, I guess.” Taeyong shrugged. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy as well. You’ll eventually find the right one, I’m sure about that. You’re still so young.”
With these words, he pulled you out of your thoughts, and you wanted to know further, “Do you mean it, Yongie? From sibling to sibling?”
“That you’ll eventually find the right one?”
“Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I mean.”
“Of course.” He nodded at you encouragingly.
If this was the case, then he wouldn’t mind your feelings for Jaehyun. Why should he even? Jaehyun was his best friend. If there was someone he would surely approve of, then it would be Jaehyun, out of all people.
This. This was it.
You wanted to wait then.
For you to grow more mature and attain your majority. When you were ready, you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. You were just afraid that Jaehyun couldn’t wait for just as long. But you wanted to give it your best.
Your light crush on your brother’s best friend was long gone.
You were head over heels in love with him now.
____
When You Were 19
“Now, a picture with your brother!”
You got closer to Taeyong who then put an arm on your waist, holding one of your flower bouquets while you were being kept occupied with the other ones. Yet, you were still smiling and holding up a peace-sign into your parents’ camera.
“I’m so proud of you, sis!” He hugged you for the nth time that morning.
“Ah, come on, Yongie! You just had your graduation ceremony as well, don’t discredit your own success!”
“Only because I enlisted in the meantime, so it’s nothing special in comparison to you graduating from high school. And then, you’re going to study at Ewha!”
Ewha Womans University. You had been dreaming of getting in ever since you were very young, having worked hard throughout the past years to pass the entrance exams. At last, academically, everything had worked out for you.
“Congratulations from me as well.”
That voice… You turned around just to meet a face you hadn’t seen in more than two years.
“Jaehyun…”
The moment you spotted him, your heart started to pound faster and hotness shot into your cheeks.
“I invited him, sis!” your brother clarified. “He was in town and couldn’t miss your graduation, right?”
Jaehyun’s grandfather had died before he decided to enlist right after graduating from university. You hadn’t known that he was back in town, but now he stood here in front of you again, having changed so much and not at all at the same time.
He had matured outwardly in the years you hadn’t seen each other.
When people grew up side by side, such a process naturally passed by them, but since you had been apart with no contact, he seemed like an entirely new person to you now, not the boy in his early twenties you had last seen.
He was a 25-year-old young man now, but still the very same person you were in love with.
As for you, you had grown up as well. You had not only mastered the art of makeup, but gotten your driver’s license and would soon move out to start living in a dorm when university started. Yes, you had also dated in the meantime, but none of the guys came close to the one you had been waiting for.
Jaehyun hugged you tightly, and you were sure that he must have felt your heavy heartbeat against his chest when he pressed you close to his firm physique.
“Ah, give me the flowers,” Taeyong then offered to you. “She can’t carry more. Here, hold Jaehyun’s instead. Wait here, I’ll bring them to the car. Where are our parents again? Man…”
Your brother disappeared the next moment, leaving you two all by yourself. The surroundings radiated a hectic atmosphere with all the students and family members running up and down, taking photos and talking, yet to you, it felt like you and Jaehyun were in your own world.
“What brings you to Seoul?” you asked him with a smile. “Not my graduation only, I assume.”
“That too, though.”
You raised a brow. “What else?”
Jaehyun’s parents were running a successful company in the States, but Jaehyun himself had never really been involved in it. They had rarely come to visit here, he had only stayed with his grandfather in Korea.
“A goodbye.”
He had only stayed in Korea for his grandfather…
“A… goodbye?”
But his grandfather was now dead.
“I’ve graduated from a prestigious university, my enlistment period is over, I have no one to take care of here anymore… it’s time for me to move on and follow in my parents’ footsteps like they wanted. My time in Korea is up now.”
You bit into your bottom lip, shaking your head, still desillusional to the truth. “But this is Korea, Jaehyun. You have always been here. Why would you go to the States?”
“Because this is why I’ve come here in the first place. First, my grandfather had to take care of me when I was only a child so that I could graduate from school. Then, I had to take care of him while working towards my graduation from a university. Now that I’ve achieved everything my parents had wanted me to, I can follow them to the States.”
“But… that doesn’t make any sense. You belong here, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun was struggling with non-emotional explanations too, you saw it. “I feel so too. I haven’t felt so at home at any other place. Only at your house. You were my family when I had barely one.”
“Then why do you go away? Stay here, simple as that.” You just couldn’t wrap your head around it.
“Sometimes, it’s not that simple.” He tilted his head as though he was pondering whether to say something he was still holding back or not. “Actually, I was supposed to leave after high school to study in the States already. But since I’ve gotten into KAIST, they let me stay. You know why I desperately wanted to stay here and applied to that university?”
You shook your head.
“Because I didn’t want to leave you behind.”
With your mouth agape, you didn’t know what to respond to him as simultaneously, you felt your heart sink. There was nothing to be happy about, so you calmed down your excitement over his confession. This scene wouldn’t close with a happy end.
“You were only six when we got introduced to each other. I’ve seen you grow throughout the years, yet for me, you’ve always stayed that six year old girl who came running towards her older brother and stopped in her tracks, because she spotted an unfamiliar person. I wanted to protect that little girl forever.”
His flower bouquet was rustling in your hands. That sound seemed very near, but Jaehyun’s voice was miles away. Was it because you didn’t want to listen to his continuing words?
“You’re scared of the dark, you stumble very often, you nearly cry when you get startled, you can’t watch horror movies and you still eat watermelon like a little child. How could I leave this innocent, precious girl behind?”
“Is this how you see me?” you asked through pressed lips. “As a little girl? Because I’m not one anymore.”
“Of course you’re not a little girl anymore. But you’ll always stay your brother’s little sister for me.”
Jaehyun disappeared behind strands of your hair that the breeze had gotten loose from your bun, and your gaze now dropped to the flowers in your hands.
Of course. In your high school uniform, you couldn’t possibly be the right match for someone who had already graduated from university and would now move to the other side of the world to co-lead a company.
Years of waiting went down the drain just like that.
“Back then… have I also only been Taeyong's little sister to you?”
You didn’t even need to give further hints. He knew exactly what you meant. In his eyes, you saw how much he struggled with himself right now. No, you weren’t wrong. Back then, he had expressed his feelings for you as well. You hadn’t been the only one.
You weren’t just his best friend’s little sister.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into my mind back then,” Jaehyun tried to backpedal. “I shouldn’t have done that. I mean… A sixteen year old girl?”
“What about it?” you pressed the topic. “It would have been controversial when I was thirteen and you were nineteen. It would have been controversial when I was fifteen and you were twenty-one. But now? Nobody cares whether it’s nineteen and twenty-five or twenty-two and twenty-eight. Thirty and thirty-six? Nobody cares two hoots about it! I’m a grown up, young woman now. Please view me as one as well!”
As he didn’t answer, you felt tears burning around the rims of your eyes. Jaehyun lifted his hand to comfort you, but retracted it at the last moment.
“You can’t, right?” was your conclusion. “Even if you wanted to, you can’t. I will always be your best friend’s little sister in your eyes, right? The one who came running at you in her princess gown which you completed with a plastic crown, who fell down the stairs and had to be accompanied by you back to her room. The little girl who sulked at the beach and only got happier when you gifted her a popsicle, who you helped clean off her first makeup attempt. Who you… made so happy, showing what it was like to be kissed in a heartfelt way.”
“Y/n, I…”
“I get it, Jaehyun. You don’t have to vindicate yourself.” Your lips formed a thin line, almost hurting, and you tried to stay strong, swallowing down all the tears. “For me, you’re my big brother’s best friend who I had a crush on when I was only a little child. But you are also the person I fell in love with when I was a teenager and who I want to be with now that I’m all grown up. But you cannot seem to move on from the stigma I have in your eyes. And as long as you cannot do this, I’ll always stay your best friend’s little sister.”
The day you graduated from high school was also the day you got your heart broken.
“I wish you all the best for your new life in the States.”
Yet, as you walked away from Jaehyun, you held your head up high, proudly crossing the schoolyard, greeting and bidding farewell to everyone who addressed you. You couldn’t even remember their faces anymore as only one was on your mind.
Taeyong and your parents were waiting by the car when you arrived, and you pretended that everything was fine when they asked where Jaehyun was.
“He didn’t want to come with us,” you lied.
You had asked him to stay away, and he obeyed.
Taeyong’s gaze rested on you the entire way home while yours was absent-mindedly directed at the side window. Your heart was bleeding, but you kept it together from the outside.
But a sibling’s eyes were able to see more than others’ eyes.
“Sis,” your brother then began, “there is something I need to tell you.”
____
When You Were 21
You watched your sister-in-law in her white gown where she was sitting at the table, beaming at your older brother. The DJ was playing a romantic and well-known song in the background while the MC aimed for the center of the improvised dance floor to incite the guests to dance.
A mild, salty breeze was blowing through the festive tent under which you were sitting, your bare feet buried in the sand under your table. Your fingers closed around the champagne glass in front of you, and you led it to your mouth, downing it all at once.
“Enjoying the reception?” Taeyong was by your side the next moment, taking the seat next to you.
“Yeah, absolutely,” you assured him honestly.
You hadn’t been to your grandparents’ house these past years, but now, you had all gathered here in this small town again to celebrate your big brother’s wedding. Your entire family from all across the country had arrived along with Taeyong’s friends from all the different phases in his life so far.
“Even though Jaehyun is here?”
You cringed at his words, your eyes, that had tried to avoid that specific direction, rolling to the exact person that had just been mentioned. He was sitting at the table across the hall from you, chatting with his friends from school. Then, your eyes returned to your brother’s now wife.
“If she hurts you, I’m going to hurt her as well.”
“Sis…”
“I can understand now even better why you didn’t want him to hurt me, Yongie.” You tilted your head to the side, smiling at Taeyong from that angle. “He had to leave sooner or later to go live somewhere else and thus breaking my heart.”
“He didn’t want to date anyone while he was here, and trust me, almost every girl at our school tried to shoot her shot.”
You snickered. “I know.”
“When I told him that he would never be allowed to hurt my sister, he took it very seriously. I’m sorry that I haven’t seen it coming that he hurt you by doing exactly that.”
“Yongie.” You paused. “We’ve talked about that topic so many times already. And I can tell again: stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. You didn’t tell him to raise my hopes up and then dump me. You only told him to spare me from any kind of pain. That he hurt me eventually is only his fault.”
“I wish that I would have been able to spare you from this pain as well as your older sibling.”
You shrugged. “That’s part of growing up, huh? Even you can’t spare me from falling in love with someone and experiencing heartbreak. The heartbreaks after that weren’t that severe.”
“So it’s truly over between you and that guy?” your brother asked. “Is that why you’ve come without a plus one?”
“Yeah. When he scheduled a viewing with the realtor for us to move in together next year, I figured that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“What is it that you want then, sis?”
Your eyes looked over to Taeyong’s bride, then shifted back to him. “Exactly what you have.”
You halted the conversation and sat by side in silence for a while, watching the MC and other guests playing games.
“Jaehyun is staying in Korea now,” Taeyong pulled you out of your thoughts again. “His parents will open a branch here and he’s going to lead it.”
You didn’t know what to say. At first, you didn’t feel anything. Then, you felt everything at once. Anger, sadness, despair, but also happiness and excitement. You were in such an intense emotional turmoil, your brother’s statement having suddenly shaken your entire world in which you had settled with the thought of not having Jaehyun even on the same continent as you.
“Excuse me, Yongie.” You arose from your seat, suddenly getting suffocated by the heavy atmosphere, even though you were partially outside at a beach. “I need some fresh air.”
And you straight up walked out of the tent.
Five minutes later, you were standing by the shore, having your eyes closed and listening to the background noise of the reception that took place behind you. The water touched your toes with every next wave, forming a great contrast to that stifling feeling from earlier. The sound of music and faded conversations that came from the location behind you blended in well with the sound of the ocean by night with no one around but you.
Your ears then eavesdropped footsteps approaching in your direction though, disrupting the peaceful quietness, but you didn’t turn around to make out the person. You already knew who it was. And this time, you were ready to breathe again.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” you asked Jaehyun, opening your eyes. “Three years ago, when we last saw each other… why didn’t you tell me that you’ve promised my brother to never hurt me and thus rejected me?”
“Because, at that point, I already did,” he responded to you, the sand giving in under his bare feet. “I saw in your eyes how much pain I made you feel after getting your hopes up with that kiss and then not being able to act on my true feelings because of my obligations. I have only promised him one thing. And even that, I haven’t been able to keep. The person he trusted the most eventually hurt the person he loved the most. It’s been haunting me ever since, because if I hadn’t kissed you, things might have played out differently.”
“I would have understood,” you asserted as he suddenly stood next to you, facing the ocean as well. “That your stay in this country was only temporary, and that Taeyong only didn’t want you to develop feelings and act on them, because you’d eventually have to leave.”
“Even if, would that have stopped you from developing feelings for me after what happened between us? I was supposed to be the mature one. Yet, in the end, it was me acting like a child, led by feelings.”
You tilted your head to the side. “In the end, it was never about me being your best friend’s little sister, but sparing me from a heartache, am I right?”
“Your brother said that no one should ever hurt you. Not even me.”
You stretched yourself, raising your arms in the air. “We would have made it work somehow.”
“I know how much you love your family and this country. Ever since you were a little child, you never wanted to go anywhere else. I couldn’t be the one partially forcing you to live in another country.”
“And now?” you asked, inhaling deeply.
“I’m back now. And I’m going to stay as my parents opened their asian branch here and want me to lead it.”
You ignored your faster heart rate. “I’m another person now, Jaehyun.”
“I’ve embraced every person you have evolved yourself into ever since we’ve known each other. And I gradually fell in love with every single one of them. When you were a child, I wanted to protect you from everything evil. When you turned into a teenager, I suppressed every slight urge to kiss you on the spot. When you have become that beautiful young woman, I had to withhold myself to confess my undying love for you. I switched from wanting to be your protector to wanting to be your lover as well.”
You blinked away your tears. “For… so long already?” you whispered. “You’ve been having feelings for me for so long?”
“I haven’t seen you as my best friend’s little sister for many years already.” His voice was soft, tempting.
You swallowed, hard. “I didn’t sit around, waiting for you, Jaehyun. I’ve built my own life, I’m independent now.”
“Of course,” he agreed, seemingly more to himself. “I wasn’t expecting that. I just thought that… you might still be interested in pursuing a relationship with me on the off chance. But if you don’t feel this way anymore, then I can understand.”
Jaehyun waited around for a few more moments, but without hearing you utter another word, he assumed the answer was clear, so he intended to head back. With the sand scrunching under his feet, he slowly walked away from you.
It didn’t take you much longer to turn around to him and reveal, “I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend next year after university.” He didn’t stop distancing himself from you yet though. “But I broke up with him right before I got here.”
Then, Jaehyun finally came to a halt, and you approached him slowly from behind. “You did?”
“But not because of you, Jaehyun,” you made clear to him. “I deeply loved him, I truly did. And I was only able to come that far, because I’ve gotten over you. I’ve moved on from you. But in the end, he wasn’t what I exactly wanted.”
“And what is it that you now want?”
Still facing his back, you answered confidently, “A life independent from someone else. Even from my brother. I’ve grown up with you both constantly by my side. Only throughout the past years, I’m slowly learning who I truly am, and I’m still in the process of doing so. My life’s been great, and I would love to continue living like this.”
You saw him bobbing his head. “I understand.”
“...with you by my side.”
Jaehyun faltered. “W… what?”
“If we had gotten together back then, I would have spent my youth shaping my future around you. But like this, I was able to live the life I really wanted to find out who I am and what I wanted. And even though I truly wanted to be with someone else… I know that a little six-year-old girl would be hella at me if I don’t pursue what she had always wanted. Because the truth is, Jaehyun, in every childhood, there’s someone we can’t forget. I always told myself to never wait around that long though.” You wiped away a tear from your cheek. “But you came back.”
“But I came back,” he repeated and slowly turned around to you. “And this time, I intend to stay.”
“For how long?” you asked, drying your cheeks with the back of your hands.
“I hope…” He paused, enclosing your face with his warm palms, “This time, I can stay forever.”
____
You overlooked the scenery that unfolded in front of your sight. From the tent at the beach, you still heard faint voices and music playing, yet you had decided to return to your grandparents’ house already after having talked to Jaehyun, now having gotten up in the middle of the night to still enjoy the silence of the sea before the whole world would wake up.
Not too long anymore, and the sun would start rising. You tied the blanket tighter around your naked body, your shoulders still exposed to the breeze that grazed along your skin, causing you goosebumps. Leaning over the balustrade, you closed your eyes and inhaled the salty air, a peaceful smile on your lips.
You shuddered when you suddenly felt a warm touch on that spot of your skin that seemed cold to you. A very welcoming contrast.
“Cannot sleep?” Jaehyun asked you as he pressed himself against you from behind, taking you in his arms and sharing his warmth.
You shook your head. “I’m still… so excited. Happy. How are you supposed to find sleep when there is just so much going on inside you?”
He rested his chin on your shoulder, tickling you. “I feel the same.”
“I remember… when I was ten, we spent a summer here together. And I found you with other girls while searching for you. That was when I first experienced jealousy. But then, you came back with a popsicle only for me.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Unknowingly, you were the only girl in my life for a very long time. When it first crossed my mind that my feelings may exceed those of brotherly love, I found you standing in the rain after a failed date.”
“I was sixteen at that time, and after our first kiss, there hadn’t been anyone else except for you. I wanted to wait until I was ready for you.”
“I’m sorry that I have made you wait for so long.” He truly sounded regretful, but you knew already as you had spent the majority of the night talking about the past among… finally taking your relationship to another, physical level. “I must confess something though,” Jaehyun then broke it down to you. “When I was in the US, I was engaged.”
“Oh.” Your whole body froze up, but you weren’t surprised at all. He was attractive, intelligent and successful. Every woman would want someone like Jaehyun. “Why did you break it off?”
“Because... “ He placed another kiss on your naked body, this time on the side of your neck. “There was only one little girl I promised to marry. And she was living on the other side of the world.”
“Me?” you asked, confused. “You promised to marry me?”
“Silly. You totally forgot, hm? You were six and I was twelve when you asked for my hand in marriage. I was so shocked, I didn’t quite know what to respond! But from that moment on, I promised to you and myself that I would protect you forever.”
You counted yourself lucky for the fact that the night sky concealed the embarrassment showing on your cheeks. There were many fond memories you had been holding of Jaehyun, but you were also aware that many other ones were missing. For example your proposal.
“Look who’s getting all shy!”
“I was six, I probably didn’t know what that meant!”
“You knew very well.” Jaehyun grabbed you by your upper arms and moved you around to face him. Even now, under the dim moonlight, you still couldn’t believe that he was finally here. And yours. “The question is, y/n, whether you’re aware that you cannot take a proposal back.”
“Well…” You gulped before taking that step. “Are you aware that you cannot take your answer back as well?”
“Very well,” he agreed.
Bending down, Jaehyun placed his lips on yours for the nth time that night, and as your kiss deepened and his arms wrapped around your still covered waist, you knew that you probably wouldn’t get too much sleep anymore until it was time for the family brunch the next morning.
You felt his fingers crawling up between your thighs, parting the thin blanket around your legs. The cool breeze swirled strands of your hair up into the air as you rested your forehead on Jaehyun’s shoulder, his fingers working upwards until he reached your core that then started to throb against his palm.
“H...here?” you asked him between breaths and spread yourself further for him.
“Mhmm,” Jaehyun hummed, his hot breath hitting your earlobe as he turned his head to you. “No one can see us and the view is splendid.”
“So you’re that kind of a guy, hm?”
Having slept with Jaehyun for the first time earlier that night was kind of… awkward for not only you, but him as well. You had been friends for the majority of your childhood, so shaking off the sisterly admiration as well as crossing the inhibition level had turned out to be a big step to take that you both had underestimated.
There had been a lot of “uhm”s and “eeeh”s, a lot of surreptitious glances, and a lot of sexual advances that had failed and needed to be repeated, but also a lot of loving words to overcome these inhibitions and just let go. You weren’t a virgin anymore and he wasn't either, it was all just in your head.
The Jaehyun that still lived in your memories was the Jaehyun from your childhood and teenage years. The Jaehyun here with you now was the one you hadn’t seen nor interacted with for years, a grown up man who offered himself to be your romantic partner in life, not a sibling-like acquaintance anymore.
And once your mind had realized that as well, you found yourself under him, enjoying his stroking game that was just top notch.
You mewled quietly when he slowly but deliberately pushed two fingers into you, and your hands reached for the balustrade behind you for support. No, he definitely wasn’t someone you looked at like a sibling anymore. He had been able to prove to you that he was way more than that within the past hours only.
Your breaths came in hitches as Jaehyun worked with his fingers inside of you, pumping in and out at a rhythmic pace. With your legs shaking, you had a hard time continuing standing steadily, afraid your knees would give in at any moment.
The blanket that had kept your bare body hidden from the moonlight and warm from the cool sea breeze then slipped over your arms, passed by your waist, and finally dropped to your feet. Jaehyun himself was still only in his boxers, so it was an easy job for you to hook your fingers into the waistband and pull the underwear down so that he was exposed in front of you as well.
Supporting your elbows on the parapet, you arched your spine and threw your head back as Jaehyun started to rub his full palm over your folds, giving your clit just the right amount of friction with each stroke to swell against his hand.
He brushed with his lips over the side of your neck until he found the right spot and started to nibble on it. You moaned quietly as he stimulated you in two places simultaneously, and for the break of a second, as you suddenly realized that you were here on the balcony, exposed to the very wide world, you froze up. But then again, as his teeth buried themselves into your side, you forgot all of your worries and relished the act.
You bucked your hips against Jaehyun’s flat hand, close to your release already, when he let go of you and made you turn around to face him with your back. The untouched steel from the balustrade felt cold against your ribs as you let out a gasp after having Jaehyun smack your bum, the sound echoing throughout the calm night.
Your fingers wrapped tightly round the metal as you bent over backwards and had him spread your cheeks. With knuckles turning white and front teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you let him enter from behind with no problems as you were already so wet.
Jaehyun was pressed hard against your back as you shuffled to find the right posture for him. Shortly later, you had your arms finding support in a crossing position on the railing with your chin resting on them, your back forming a nearly straight line where it ended with your bum getting connected to Jaehyun.
His fingers submerged into the flesh around your thighs, and you had to bite down a scream when he plunged deep into you for the first time. Where your sight was directed at the nighttime scenery in front of you, you had it now dropped as you took every stroke of him with delight, protruding your bottom even higher as it felt more intense to you this way.
Slapping sounds mixed with your moans chimed throughout the night, possibly loud enough for your neighbors to not miss what was exactly going on on your balcony. You rigidly held your body against his, giving in with every slam that came down, but also bouncing back to position whenever he withdrew.
Only Jaehyun changed your position when he brought your bodies together to a more intimate standing position and held you against the balustrade, one of his hands rubbing against your clit, the other massaging your breasts while he was sucking on your neck at the same time all while still moving inside of you.
You had no idea how he was doing that, but thinking back, Jaehyun had always been good at multitasking, you remembered. And as you were standing there on the balcony, getting penetrated and stimulated on so many levels, emotionally and physically, you were sure you could faint right there on the spot.
But instead, you came all over him, inside and outside, silently and vocally. Your hand grabbed the back of his head, the other searching for the rail to have something that supported you in case you’d truly faint.
Jaehyun was holding you throughout all your small and big waves of highs, holding you closely when you shuddered and mewled in his arms, almost forgetting to enjoy his own release that followed right after yours, and you supported him just as much as he had supported you.
Shortly later, when you were all cleaned and cuddled up in the bed again, you confessed something to him.
“Actually,” you started, lying on your side and facing Jaehyun. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”
“No way!” he exclaimed and pulled the blanket over the both of you. “That old plastic thing?”
“As I said,” you continued, right before well earned sleep finally got the better of you, “it’s my biggest treasure.”
You still felt the softness of his lips on your forehead before passing out.
“Sleep well, princess.”
____
When You Were 6
“And then, he just called me ‘granny’! Only because of the bun my mom made me this morning!” you sobbed into your hands, sitting on the terrace. “Now, all the boys in my class call me like this and they won’t stop! I will never wear a bun to preschool again!”
You reached with one hand into your hair, fiddling with the elastic that held your strands together on the very top of your head. You had wanted to complain to your older brother, but he wasn’t home yet, and instead, you had found his new friend in your garden, opening up to him now.
“Leave it!” Jaehyun told you and seated himself next to you. “I find that bun suits you. It’s cute on a little girl like you.”
Through a teary vision, you made eye contact with him. “You… think so?”
Jaehyun nodded euphorically. “Don’t listen to boys your age. They can be very silly at times.”
You looked up to him with big eyes. “Jaehyun!”
“Hm?” He smiled.
“Later on, I don’t want to marry such guys!” you blurted out clearly. “I want to marry you! Because you’re not as mean as them. You’re kind.”
With slightly opened lips, he stiffened. But not for long though. His smile broke through a second later again, his features solemn and soft.
“Look!” Jaehyun arose, took you by your hand and helped you up. “Right now, you’re still a little girl. So grow up fast, okay? Then we can marry.”
“Okay!”
You pumped your fist in the air, sealing a deal that seemed so uncoerced and comfortable to you at that moment, of which impact you weren’t fully aware of yet though, and which you would forget in a few years from now on.
But Jaehyun…
… he had always remembered.
Although at the moment of the promise, Jaehyun hadn’t taken it seriously. He had thought that you were only speaking from the top of your head, aiming for a little girl’s fantasy who grew up with an overprotective older brother. He had hoped you’d dismiss it from your mind when time flew by.
And you actually did.
Whereas Jaehyun was the one who had never been able to forget.
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icedcappujaeno · a day ago
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kingdom come | six
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Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.
genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut pair: Jaehyun & reader warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns
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“Welcome, Mr. Lee!”
A man in a suit welcomes the young chairman that Jaehyun is currently following suit. He’s clad in a simple graphic white tee and denim pants with a belt. He still wears his necklace with the ring that serves as its pendant under his shirt, and a silver chain bracelet on his wrist. It was the best undercover clothes that he could think that makes him look like he’s here to party when he’s actually not.
Said Mr. Lee greets the man back with a short hug and a wide grin. “Congrats on your opening, bro.”
“Yeah, thanks for the help,” the other replies as Mr. Lee breaks the hug.
“Anyway,” he shrugs off and fixes the collar of his white button-down shirt. “I won’t take much of your time, I know you have a lot of other guests to attend to.”
“Oh, hush. It’s no problem. You know you’re one of my VIPs!” the man winks. “I already have the VIP lounge reserved for you, so let my staff take you to your seat. Enjoy your evening!”
And like what the owner said (as Jaehyun assumed), two guards of the club escort him to his lounge. Jaehyun, on the other hand, goes inside minutes after the chairman so as to not blow his cover. The music was already heard from the outside so it was no surprise that when he went in, it was almost deafening and it was almost impossible to hear the chatter of the people. Jaehyun groans as it would be a hindrance to his mission, plus, the VIP lounge was quite isolated from where most of the people would stay.
He sits on one of the high chairs by the bar as he tries to calm himself down. He won’t be able to think of ways to eavesdrop on Mr. Lee if he is irritated by the circumstances. The bartender offers him a drink to which he replies with ‘only whiskey’. As his request is only simple, the drink was served almost immediately. Jaehyun didn’t actually want to drink for tonight, but it would make him appear suspicious: who would go to a club without even drinking a little?
He eyes his target and sees him standing away from the lounge. This is Jaehyun’s chance. His sight is still on Lee as the young man approaches two girls sitting on one of the couches near the VIP area whose backs were facing him. He takes this opportunity to come physically closer to him.
He sits on the chair adjacent to the group while trying to be lowkey. He hears Lee say a ‘joke’ to the group and they respond with an awkward laugh. Seems like they are not having it with another crashing their talk like one of them says, “Uhm, do we know you?”
***
“Uhm, do we know you?”
Eunji asks with slight annoyance in her tone, but there is still a smile gracing her lips. You chuckle nervously with her straightforwardness.
“Oh, where are my manners,” the man in front laughs, and you notice that his gaze is never leaving yours. “I’m Lee Doyeon. And you are?”
You smile awkwardly as his hand reaches out to yours, earning a suspicious look from Eunji. You uncomfortably shake your hand with the man. “Uhm, I’m—”
“Areum,” Eunji cuts you off, showing her pearly whites to the guy. “Her name’s Areum.”
You give her a confused look, but she winks and mouths “I got you” in your direction. You nod knowingly and remove your hand away from Doyeon’s hold. You thank God that Eunji is here with you, and what she did was probably for the better—giving your real name might get you in trouble. You weren’t planning on meeting another person tonight as you’re here to celebrate your friend’s birthday and have fun with her, and supposedly, Kun. However, he called in earlier that he would not be able to go as his sister asked him to babysit his niece.
“Hi, Areum!” The Doyeon guy flashes a saccharine smile in your direction. “Care to dance with me?”
When you look at Eunji, cautious eyes are boring onto yours. She holds your wrist quite tightly and points a venomous smile towards Doyeon.
“She’s actually here to celebrate with me—my birthday, not to meet guys and hook up if that’s what you’re thinking,” Eunji spills, and you try to hide the smile forming on your lips with your friend’s upfront wordings. “So if you’ll excuse us, we just want to enjoy each other’s company. Thanks!”
Eunji stands from her seat and drags you along with her, sitting on another couch. Doyeon scoffs, pride obviously hurt from the rejection. Plus, it was Eunji that kept cockblocking him, adding to his irritation. You could only shoot a small smile in his direction, most likely an apology, but nevertheless, you thank Eunji for saving your ass from him.
“Geez, us women can’t breathe for a second huh,” she takes a sip from the bottle of her beer. You chuckle and follow her actions, taking a sip from your own bottle of beer when you notice that Doyeon’s eyes are still boring onto your figure. You try to act calm as possible but he’s still giving you uncomfortable looks. On the other hand, Eunji—oh what betrayal: a man was already sitting beside her, faces almost close to each other as to hear what the other is saying.
You touch her arm and whisper loud enough for her to hear. “I’m just going to the restroom.”
She nods. You stand, avoiding gaze to Doyeon’s direction, and go straight to the women’s restroom.
***
Jaehyun saw the girls rejecting Doyeon—it was evident in the sour look on the young chairman’s face. He chuckles at his disappointment as he takes a sip of the whiskey he has. The girls go to another seat and Doyeon dejectedly goes back to his lounge, earning another groan from Jaehyun. He was so close!
His gaze never left his target though, and his target—well, never left the woman who just rejected him to dance—well, technically, her friend. Jaehyun glances at your group—and his world almost stops when he sees your side figure. As he is distracted with you, it was a few minutes late when he notices Doyeon standing up to follow you. On reflex, he also stands, following you as well. His strides are fast and at the same time discreet as he doesn’t want to be noticed by Lee.
***
You fix your hair and retouch your lipstick. With one last look at the mirror, you see yourself with a weary look. You couldn’t help but think if you should engage in conversations too, but—there are still fragments from the past that needs to be patched up first. Meeting another person would be okay, but it would stray you away from learning your past that is missing.
Well, at least Eunji’s enjoying her night. Sighing, you put your lipstick back in your bag and go out of the restroom.
As you open the door, a figure bumps onto yours, causing you to tumble lightly, but the guy was fast enough to catch you by your arms. You look up to see familiar brown hues onto yours, his scent of wood sage and sea salt whiffing through your sense.
“Jaehyun?”
He smiles and you didn’t miss the dimples of his cheeks that appear endearingly. He helps you stand while one of his hands is supporting the back of your waist, the other holding onto your smaller ones. Memories of the past haunt his thoughts as he feels your skin upon him, yet he tries to conceal it with a concerned expression as he holds you.
“Hey,” he whispers, cautious not to say your real name from what he heard a while ago when your friend introduces you as ‘Areum’ for Doyeon, who was near, to not overhear. “Nice seeing you here,” he tries to pry a smile.
‘Why are you here?’ is what he wants to ask.
“Yeah, you too!” you giggle, letting go of his hand, much to his disappointment. Jaehyun takes it as a signal to remove his hand from your waist as well, then inserts both of them into his pants pockets. He leads you away from Lee’s proximity, trying to get you to the bar, but you hold his wrist and lead him to your couch as well.
You see Eunji already on the dance floor with the man he was talking to a while ago and you shake your head. You invite Jaehyun to sit beside you and he follows, but he knows that he would not be able to stay longer as he still has a mission to attend to, even if it is against his will. He wants to stay with you—as he can’t imagine himself losing you once again. It is an overreaction on his part, but he has questions that need answering whose answers can only be known by you.
He glances at Lee Doyeon, who is now sitting by his friends again, but from time to time, the young chairman glimpses in your direction.
“What brings you here?” You ask, taking a sip of your beer, distracting him from his observation. He looks back at you with a small smile. He wants to meet you and talk to you, hear your sweet melodic voice, but not in this situation.
“Just chilling,” he replies, trying to sound casual and nonchalant. “How about you?”
You point at Eunji who was almost making out with the guy she’s with on the dance floor. “You see that woman over there? It’s her birthday and she’s supposed to be celebrating it with me, but as you can see…”
Jaehyun chuckles lightly. You offer him your bottle of beer, but he declines politely. “I already had a glass of whiskey. I think that would be enough.”
You raise a single brow with his reply. You never thought Jaehyun would be the lightweight type—
‘I thought you can take more than 5 bottles, love.’  
His laugh resonates inside the room, the sweet baritone of his becoming music to your ears.  
‘Oh, I can!’ You slur, but you feel your entire system heating from the amount of soju you’ve already taken. You reach for the bottle to pour yourself another shot, but his hands stop yours and hold your wrist.  
‘I think that’s enough, baby.’
“You okay?”
You feel Jaehyun hold your hand, worry painting his features. A sudden headache comes to your system with the sudden flash of memory, but you look at him, trying to ease his worry by pursuing a small smile. “Just a little headache, that’s all.”
Jaehyun knows that you can’t hold your liquor that much. Truthfully, he doesn’t know how much you’ve already drunk as his focus was not on yours earlier. But it was odd, as when you’re drunk, your skin usually heats up, ears and cheeks would flush like dark pink roses. However, your hand’s warm, not hot, and the blush on your cheeks was probably from the makeup. Your words are still coherent, even.
You observe his knitted brows and softly laugh. “I’m fine, Jaehyun. Don’t worry.”
“I think you should go ho—”
“Areum,” you two never noticed that Lee Doyeon was approaching your table. “I’m quite hurt. You rejected me earlier and now you’re talking with some random guy?” The guy clutches his heart as if feigning physical pain.
Jaehyun’s eye twitches. He is about to open his mouth to reply to the thick-faced guy but you beat him to it.
“Actually, I know him,” you retorted while forcing a smile. “We’re…acquaintances.”
‘Acquaintances, huh.’
“Acquaintances, huh,” Doyeon scoffs, irritation clearly laced in his tone.
Jaehyun takes this as his cue for the two of you to leave. The hold of his hand around your wrist slightly tightens, and he gives you a knowing look. You are about to protest as Eunji is still on the dance floor, dancing the night away with a bottle of beer on hand. Jaehyun, however, is determined to get you out of the club, out of Doyeon’s uncomfortable presence.
You bite your lip and nod. He gives the man a taunting smile as the two of you stand, his hand now entwining with yours. “Anyway, we gotta go.”
“What about Eunji?” you whisper as both of you strut outside of the club.
“I’ll fetch her,” Jaehyun leads you to his car—a white Hyundai Grandeur of the latest model. He urges you to sit on the shotgun seat while he opens the car window on your side. When you’re inside and buckled up, he leans his elbow to the window. “Don’t go anywhere.”
You nod. You expect him to go back after, but he places his hand over your head.
“Good girl.”
You feel your cheeks heat as he walks away to get your friend back.
***
Eunji is passed out on the passenger seat, drunk from the amount of alcohol she’s consumed. You’re currently on the roads of Seoul with Jaehyun driving. The only noise that fills the atmosphere is the sound of his playlist—volume settling at a low level.
Cigarettes After Sex.
Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby As long as you’re with me, you’ll be just fine Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby Nothing’s gonna take you from my side
Your hands were on his shoulder while his hands were on your hips, the skinship making you feel a little ticklish. You stifled a giggle that did not go unnoticed.
‘What?’
‘Your hands. They tickle.’
He only chuckled and placed a soft kiss on top of your head as your bodies swayed in dim lights.  
He glances in your direction and sees the disturbed expression written on your features. He mirrors yours, but questions it no further, trying to be not pushy with you—at least for tonight. He still has many questions, but Jaehyun decides that he will take it slow.
You tell him to drop you off at your apartment, taking Eunji with you as you’re sure that she won’t wake up till the next morning. Jaehyun takes this opportunity to save your address to his car’s GPS, but of course, he’ll be discreet about it. At least now he knows where to find you—if the worst things come, be able to protect you this time.
Once you reach your destination, Jaehyun helps you with carrying Eunji to your apartment. When you open the door for them, Jaehyun notices the lack of interior of your apartment. The walls are painted off-white, simple with nothing posted on it. A couch in the center, and a dining set for two on the side of the kitchen.
You instruct Jaehyun to lay Eunji down on the couch. He did as told, carefully laying your passed-out friend on the couch. Meanwhile, you get a blanket for her in your room and the ring on your nightstand catches your attention.
JJH.
You bit your lip. You want to ask him if he knows something by the way he looks at you when you first met, but you are anxious—what if he’s not really involved in your past? You’re scared of the thought of shaming yourself with him. With a racing, heavy heart, you close the door of your room, seeing Jaehyun standing beside the couch as if protecting Eunji who is drooling on the cloth of your couch now.
When you place the blanket over your friend’s frame, Jaehyun coughs, earning your attention.
“I guess I should leave.”
You nod slowly. “Yeah. Thanks for the ride.”
He smiles, deep enough for his dimples to appear. “You’re always welcome.”
He turns his heel to go, but your lips unconsciously call his name causing him to glance in your direction with a curious smile.
Why did I do that?
You mentally slap yourself in the head. Jaehyun’s eyes are staring at yours, waiting for whatever’s come out of your lips.
“I—uh,” you stutter, trying to form sentences in your mind. You think of the ring, you think of the sudden flash of memories—but you only shake your head, saving yourself from embarrassment. “S-See you soon, next time. I guess.”
***
“S-See you soon, next time. I guess.”
His expression changes from curiosity to disappointment, but still, Jaehyun manages to force a small smile on his lips. ‘Not now,’ he thinks—as he thought earlier, he’ll take everything slowly. Find out what truly happened: what happened to you, and what the group is hiding from him.
“Yeah. See you, (Y/N).”
He turns around and closes the door behind him. He puts his hands inside the pocket of his pants and walks to his car. When he is now seated on the driver’s seat, he grips the wheel tightly while biting his lip.
Today’s mission was a failure but at the same time a success. Failure as to his main objective is: to gather intel regarding Lee Doyeon, but a success to his broken heart: seeing and talking to you again, with knowing your location as a bonus.
For now, he’ll worry about Taeyong’s sermon tomorrow.
67 notes · View notes
kookskiii · 12 days ago
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mine? | jung jaehyun
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summary: scared of rejection you never told jaehyun how you felt, accepting the fact that you’d just stay friends with benefits forever, that’s until things suddenly change
warnings: smut (nsfw), fluff, angsty, creampie (stay safe kids), fingering, abuse of the word baby, talk of sex with others, jealousy kinda, he spits in her mouth once, pussy eating, pretty much softdom!jae (spoiler: happy ending)
pairing: fwb!jaehyun x reader
wordcount: 6k
mark, haechan and jaehyun were having a boys night, just hanging out together in jaehyuns dorm since he had just came back from a four week long study abroad, not having seen each other in a longer while. they were talking, laughing and drinking when suddenly the topic of girls and dating came up.
“did you meet any cute girls? what about that suri girl you told us about?” haechan asked with wiggling eyebrows, jaehyun dismissingly shaking his head “nah, she was nice and okay to hang with, but really not my type”
haechan chuckled knowingly “then what is your type?” jaehyun only rolled his eyes, glaring at the younger boys as mark had started to snicker too. “no honestly tho” mark started “i seriously don’t get why you still haven’t told her how you feel about her, like you’ve been sleeping around for what, two years now?” haechan agreed “there’s literally nothing to loose” “actually there is” jaehyun argued “if she rejects me i’ll first off loose the only way i can cum and more importantly i’ll loose one of the closest friends i have”
“you cant cum when you're with someone else? sheesh you're in deep bro" haechan snorted, the others holding back their laugh as jaehyun sighed cause he didn't plan on letting that slip, johnny was the only one who knew that. "it's not like i cant cum, it's just that i have to think of her or i won't finish. she's just diffrent, i don't know how to explain it but it just feels so- ugh, i wish you'd know" jaehyun grew frustrated with his own words”
“oh i know” mark said without much thought “once you sleep with her you really can’t forget about her, it’s crazy”
“oh i know” mark said without much thought “once you sleep with her you really can’t forget about her, it’s crazy”
haechan choked on his beer and mark furrowed his eyes at the younger who was looking at im with wide open eyes “what-“ “you had sex with y/n?” jaehyuns voice interrupted mark and that was when he realised what he had done “oh fuck-“
“okayyyyyyy, i’m really tired, it was nice hanging out with you guys bye” haechan was quick in getting up and leaving jaehyuns apartment, not wanting to be apparat of the argument that was going to happen, also spearing no eye to mark who was helplessly looking around the room to avoid jaehyuns eyes.
“you really had sex with y/n?” mark gulped “we were just hanging out one night and then we somehow talked about our sex life’s and-“ “just say yes or no mark” jaehyun demanded, mark almost quivering in fear as he answered. “yes i did have sex with her”
“seriously?” guilt hit mark like a truck when jaehyun sighed out “you know how i feel about her mark”
“i know, i’m sorry jae. i can assure you tho we’re just best friends, really, it was just in the heat of the moment because both of us hadn’t gotten laid in a longer while, there really are no feelings.
“and also, i’m sorry but it wasn’t like you were gonna confess soon or something” mark said, defending himself “you were gone for a while and she told me you were still not talking to her so i honestly think you don’t really have a right to be mad. like i get it i simply shouldn’t have done it out of respect for you and because we’re friends, but you should think about how she felt the whole time while you were ignoring her” mark sighed “and not trynna point fingers or anything but i’m not the only one of our friends she slept with while you were gone”
“who else did she sleep with?” nausea hit jaehyun suddenly, the thought of you having sex with his friends just because he wasn’t talking to you and while you were probably feeling used the whole time broke him. “that doesn’t matter right now and it’s also not my right to tell you” mark stated “when was the last time you talked to her jaehyun?”
jaehyun stayed silent for a few seconds before closing his eyes and rubbing his tempels “i don’t know” “then what the hell are you eating for dude? she lives literally on the other side of this building! go and talk to her!” mark almost yelled at his friend, not believing the older one could be so helpless.
jaehyun nodded with a sigh, leaving the apartment with mark and making his own way down the hallways to your apartment.
it wasn’t like jaehyun wanted to ignore you on purpose, well yes on purpose but he didn’t intend on hurting you while doing so. he’s been in love with you for quite a long time. it had started as a little crush about two months after you had first started sleeping with each other. you were basically friends with benefits, you’d fuck often but also hang out a lot, you knew almost everything about each other.
after almost a year of sleeping around jaehyun came to the realisation that it wasn’t just a little crush that he had on you due to fucking; he was in love with you not just crushing on you.
he realised it when he was watching you with a soft smile while you were doing the simplest things; was it either laughing, doing your make up, reading, sleeping, heck even eating. he realised it when his heart beat faster everytime you held his hand when you were nervous, he realised it when he felt jealous everytime he saw you holding jaemins hand even if it was just for a few seconds. he realised it when being with other girls didn’t turn him on anymore, when he had to imagine you were the one moaning his name. he realised he was in love with you when you were sleeping naked, skin to skin in his arms after you had sex for the last time before he stopped talking to you; instead of sleeping he had watched you sleep with a soft smile on his lips, caressing your skin lovingly as you were slightly snoring to yourself. you had always looked so pretty afterwards.
that had been the last time you and jaehyun had slept together, and talked. the next morning you woke up alone in jaehyuns bed. you didn’t think much of it, but then he started to distance himself from you. you blamed stress on it, and then he went to his study abroad, not once contacting you nor saying goodbye before leaving. you had no idea what was going on, and now that he was back you sometimes saw him at the mall but he didn’t acknowledge you or when passing each other in the hallways he pretended to be busy with something else, always looking for a reason to not talk to you.
he distanced himself because it scared him that he was in love with you.
“if this goes wrong” he muttered to himself as he stood in front of your door, his heart racing like crazy which made him even more anxious. why was he scared to talk to you? you’ve seen all of him, felt all of him in any way possible and knew everything about him. he knew everything about you too, he knew you and your body like no one else did, so why was he so scared now?
his body reacted before his mind did, knocking on your door and now there was no going back. he regretted it as soon as you opened the door and looked at him with big doe eyes. “jaehyun?” you asked a little irritated, guilt rushing over him as you were shocked he had come to talk to you. it really has been so long since you’ve even talked to each other.
“hi” he breathed out, giving you somehow of a half smile and his heart skipped a beat as you smiled at him “hi” you opened the door further, allowing him to step in “come in”
he watched as you walked into your room, him following you with ease as he knew the way perfectly. “were you busy?” he asked, and you shook your head with a soft smile, arriving in your bedroom and jaehyun couldn’t help but smile a little too as he saw what you must’ve been doing before he knocked.
polaroids we’re scattered all over your floor, a few sticking on the wall and cigarettes after sex playing in the background.
“i was about to stick the polaroids on my wall” you explained “i finally have one with everyone i’m friends with and who means something to me, look” you took a few pics in your hand and passed them to jaehyun, the older one taking seat next to you on the floor, looking at the pics you gave him while you continued to stick glue on the back of the pics.
the pictures you gave him were ones he hadn’t seen yet, you must’ve taken them when he wasn’t talking to you because usually you’d show him the new ones instantly.
one of them was a pic you must’ve taken on yutas and sichengs birthday party, you in the middle of the two boys and all of you having funny party hats on, balloons with the words ‘happy birthday’ were hung in the background. jaehyun badly wanted to attend the party, yutas and sichengs birthday party was known to be the biggest party in the year on campus. but due to his abroad study jaehyun couldn’t attend it.
he placed the polaroids back on the ground and started to help you stick the glue on back of all the polaroids, not exchanging many words as you jsut listened to the music in the back. jaehyun had noticed as soon as the third song had played that it was the playlist he had made for you, a mix out of all your and his favourite songs.
jaehyun took the next polaroid in his hand, about to turn it around when he realised which one it was. his heart warming as he looked at the picture closely. it was a picture of the two of you, each of you had the same one only slightly diffrent; you were sitting halfway in his lap, on the couch in johnnys loft at new year’s eve. his arm was wrapped around your waist, your head resting on his shoulder hugging him back as your legs rested on his thighs. you were wearing his hoodie, it was a long night. the two of you had your new years kiss together, jaehyun had when you had been counting down from 10 to 0, right when you were about to say 1, grabbed your face and kissed you. it had been the most happiest moments you’ve ever been in your life.
“did you want something?” you asked softly when every polaroid pic you had was sticking to the wall above your bed, jaehyun and you know having taken seat on your bed. during the whole process neither of you had spoken much, which jaehyun was not only pretty glad about but he also loved just being in your presence, spending time with you without talking.
and you did too. you had missed him a lot. to be honest tho, you were a little scared of what he had to say to you. it had hurt you and confused you a lot when he started to just all of sudden be so distant to you and now that he was back he still kept his distance. so now that he so suddenly came to you made you a little anxious.
“yeah, uh i wanted to talk to you about something” he said hesitantly “about us”
that sentence made you almost quiver in fear.
about us
us.
even tho you felt like bursting and crying from nervousness you calmly nodded, waiting for him to elaborate what he wanted to tell you.
in that second your phone vibrated next to you. you were about to turn it around and ignore it out of respect for jaehyun, but the message on it made you pick it up with furrowed eyebrows.
[11:19pm] m0rk: i’m sorry for telling him
you were about to text back a ‘tf you talking about’ when another message popped up, one that made your eyes widen.
[11:20pm] m0rk: i know you said i shouldn’t tell jae but it slipped out i’m sorry i didn’t think straight
in a matter of seconds thousand thoughts rushed through your mind of what mark could’ve told jae. and then it clicked. either mark told him that you had feelings for him, or worse, he told jaehyun that mark and you had slept together.
“were- were you with mark before you came here?” you asked, scared of the answer but it was clear. “yeah” jaehyun answered, and you gulped, turning off your phone and placing it downwards on your bed.
“so” you cleared your throat “what did you want to talk about?”
you were so scared now. this was so not going to end good. you were trying to prepare yourself the best you could, you were sure jaehyun was going to tell you he was dating someone, he had met someone else while he was abroad, he was sorry to tell you that he couldn’t return your feelings for him that mark told him about.
“first of all” he took a deep breath “i wanted to apologise for how i treated you these past months”
you blinked, a little confused but you nodded, letting him continue cause you knew that if you’d speak he’d probably hear the quiver in your voice.
“i’m sorry that i started to kinda, not kinda, i’m sorry that i started to avoid you and not talk to you all of the sudden. i cant imagine how you felt while i was gone and still now, even tho I've been back for almost two weeks now”
you nodded at that, that really was an asshole move from him
“what i also, more importantly actually, wanted to tell you is” he took another deep breath before continuing, scary even more about what was to come “over the past year I've realized something that i couldn't bring myself to tell you”
you ignored the sting in your eyes. over the past year? he had been seeing someone else for such a long time but continued to sleep with you until a few months ago? ouch.
“i think it started around the time when you were back with your family for a month and we couldn't see each other” wow. so as soon as you were gone he found someone else to sleep with. 
“i missed you a lot in that month. and at first i thought it was the sex that i missed, but then i realized it wasn't the sex, it was you. what i missed was just you, being with yo, talking with you, laughing with you, everything about you”
wait what-
“and then when you finally came back you told me all the things you had done, all the new memories you had made and i was jealous. i wanted to be apart of all the new memories you make. 
i talked a lot with johnny and i really thought that it was just a stupid crush i had on you. but then, the last time we slept together i realized it. i was sure- i am sure about it. but i just couldn't bring myself to tell you like a normal person would, no i started to avoid you because i didn't want to ruin the friendship we had. and when i was gone for a month i thought that i could get over it and come back to save our friendship, but as much as i tried to push it aside it only got stronger, and then earlier mark said something and put some brain into me. so now i just have to tell you”
he lifted his head for the first time now, locking eyes with your glassy ones that were staring at him wide open, heart hammering so hard in your chest that you thought he could hear it. 
and the next words took you over the edge.
“i’m in love with you y/n”
it felt as if time stopped. 
the whole time you were worrying and crying about jaehyun probably having a girlfriend, he was in love with you? if this was a dream you wished to never wake up.
“you’re not kidding right?”you asked with tears in your eyes. jaehyun shook his head and was about to say something but you had already thrown yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly around the neck before sobbing out “im in love with you too jae” 
he had caught you instantly, his hands around your waist in a second while he breathed in your comforting scent, relief rushing over his body as he know knew you felt the same way towards him.
“i missed you so much” he spoke into your neck, your heart running a marathon but his doing the exact same thing. you pulled out of the hug, looking into his sparkly eyes that were looking at you with so much love that you couldn't help but lean in for a passionate kiss. and even tho you had kissed so many times before, this was the best kiss you've ever had with jaehyun. 
“i love you” he spoke sincerely against your lips, and you couldn't smile more than you did that second “i love you, jae”
he shad such a big smile on his face that you couldn't help but giggle a little. “since when?” “I've always had a crush on you” you admitted “but i really realized that i was in love with you on new years eve when you kissed me”
“its new years in a month again, why haven't you said anything for so long?” he chuckled, wiping your cheeks as you had a few tears on them. “was scared, same as you” you whispered and his eyes softened instantly, he knew exactly how you felt, and in a second he had you wrapped around him, falling back into your bed with you ontop of him. 
it was quite between the two of you, both having big smiles on your faces as you calmly listened to the music playing in the background; currently playing ‘sweet’ by cigarets after sex both your and jaeyhuns favorite song. neither of you really processing that this moment was real.
“can i ask you something?” he asked after a while, making you nod your head and look up to him, your chin resting on his chest as he was leaning against your headboard.
“did you really sleep with mark and others of our friends too?” jaehyun asked, making you sigh out “did mark tell you that?”
he nodded and you couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed in mark, you had trusted him to never tell that anyone, especially not to tell jaehyun.
“yeah i did” you breathed out “and who else?” he asked, his grip tightening around you and you took a mental note to later on heart mark for telling jaehyun, but also reminding yourself to thank him because without out him this would've probably never happened.
“jeno and jaemin” you spoke in one breath, feeling him stiffen instantly, he had always been a little passive when it came to you and those two, especially jaemin.
jaehyun had so many questions, but he chose not to ask and to just nod with a sigh, simply going back to cuddling you.
“you’re not mad?” you asked, playing with his hair bad he bummed no. “you’re mine now, i don’t care what’s in the past” your heart beat fast at that.
it was silent for a few seconds as you were processing that. “jae?“ “hm?” “we’re dating now right? i can call you my boyfriend?” he let out a chuckle at that, pushing you on your back so now he was slightly hovering over you, a big smile on his face.
“mhm, only if i can call you my girlfriend then tho” he teased, making you nod as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling in back for a hug and both of you giggling like five year olds.
suddenly remembering something, you reached for your phone and quickled typed a message, jaehyuns eyes following every movement of your finger.
[11:56pm] to m0rk: it’s okay, because of you i have someone to call boyfriend now;)
jaehyun chuckled, taking a mental note to thank mark later on before he took your phone out of your hand, turning it off and throwing it somewhere on your bed and once again connecting your lips.
lazily making out, you both were trying to get as close as possible, chests pressing against each other while hands were all over the others body.
the kiss got steamier by the second, tongues playing with each other as soft groans and moans transferred from one mouth into the other. “jae” you breathed out against his lips, gripping his shirt as he only hummed in response, not allowing you to talk further as he continued kissing you. 
he smoothly hovered over you, hands roaming down your body and giving your boobs a firm squeeze, making you whimper into his mouth, a smirk spreading on his lips at that. “what is it princess?” he hummed, kissing down your neck and sucking on the spot he knew you were most sensitive.
“mhm” you hummed out, already a bit hazy from his kisses “want you jae” “my pretty girl wants me?” you nodded eagerly at that, pussy already throbbing as you had missed him so much like this, your body craved for release.
commanding your wish, he was quick in pulling down your sweatpants along with your panties, chuckling at the patch of arousal that had leaked onto the material. steadying himself next to your head, he let his finger glide through your wet folds as you had spread your legs like a (according to jaehyun) good girl. “you’re so wet already” he teased, cocky smirk on his lips as he picked up some arousal before starting to lazily circle your clit, knowing exactly how to rile you up “missed me?”
you nodded, letting your eyes shut as you let go of everything in your mind, focusing on jaehyun and only jaehyhun “missed you so much jae”
“oh really?” he pushed two fingers at once into you without a warning, a cry escaping you at the sudden stretch and he cooed, pressing a kiss onto the corner of your moth “shhh, shh baby youre fine”
as soon as he started moving his fingers in you, the familiar feeling of pleasure spread in you. “ you said you missed me baby, but you had so much fun with the others” you whined loudly as stopped his movements before painfully slow pumping his fingers in you “tell me who did best? i heard jaemin’s good with his fingers, did he finger you just like this” as those words left his lips he curled his fingers deep in you, moving them so fast you could hear the squelching of your juices around his fingers,
you moaned out loud and he shushed you, telling you to shut the fuck up before he continued fingering you like crazy. “and jeno, he's got a big dick, did he fuck you good?” “jae i-” you whimpered out, you hand flying  over your moth as he added his thumb to your clit, your thighs shaking already while jaehyun was sucking red and purple spots into your neck. “were those hickeys you had that one movie night from mark? tell me baby”
you couldn't answer, already on the edge of your orgasm but he took it away from you as he slowed down, making you almost cry in frustration “tell me or ill stop completely” “yes those were from mark!” you moaned out, the knot in your abdomen forming again as jaehyun moved his fingers faster, pushing you to an orgasm.
“little slut” he chuckled, the name sending another wave of pleasure though you “bet you wanted me to see them and get jealous right? i should've known those were from mark after yuca asked you about them and that fucker choked on his water and blushed like a five year old
“congrats baby you did make me jealous that day, and you wanna know what happened afterwards?” your head nodded on its own, your mind foggy as you were so close to cumin “i fucked a girl that night, imagining it was you. i stuffed her mouth because she didn't sound like you, because you wanna know what baby? thinking of you is the only way i can cum when you’re not around, i even moaned your name”
the thought alone of jaehyun having to imagine you are the one he's fucking, having to restrain the girl from making sounds because they don't sound like you and him even moaning your name set you off the edge. coming undone on his hand with a moan of his name, thighs shaking as he eased you through it.
“mhm, that's my good girl” he spoke right into your ear, his dick hard against your thigh “god i missed you so much” “jae-” you heavily breathed out as you finally came down from your high. he licked his fingers clean with a satisfied moan at your taste, grinning as he hovered over you to kiss you.“how come you had sex with jeno and jaemin?” he asked, more like commanded you to tell him as he kissed down your neck once again.
“tell me baby” not able to wait any longer he pushed your hoodie up until it was resting on your tummy before he laid down between your legs, angling them perfectly so he was able to kiss your thighs, sucking on the soft skin there too, a place where only he could see the hickeys from now on. 
“jae please-” “uh-uh” he stopped your hand from going into his hair to pull him closer “not until you tell me” “o-okay” you exhaled shakily, arousal dripping out of you at the sight of his head between your thighs, god how much you had missed him.
he smirked, hooking his hands around your thighs and giving your pussy a playful lick, shivers running down your spine as he hummed pleased against you “god its been so long” he mumbled against you. 
one of jaehyuns favorite things to do had to be, as weird as it sounded, eating you out. he loved pleasing you, making his girl feel good. and adding to that he loved tasting you. to him eating you out was almost as good as receiving head was. he himself getting pleasure out of pleasing you, once even humming in his pants while eating you out tho he'd never admit that-
“talk baby im waiting”
“i don't know it just h-happend” you said in a breath “please jaehyun just-”
“you don't just have sex with your friends y/n” he chuckled, deciding to continue licking you before he was going to torture you more.
he attached his tongue to your clit, playing with it just how he knew you liked it most, swirling in circular motions.
“how many times did you do it with them?” he decided to ask, breath hitting your wet core which made you whimper. you struggled to open your mouth to speak as he continued to devour you like a starved man.
you moaned as his tongue went down to nip at your entrance, him squeezing your thigh at that to remind you to answer his question.
“only once with jeno and mark” your hands went down to grab his hair after answering, but he simply dodged your hands and cuffed them in one of his, holding them on your tummy. he pushed his tongue as deep as he could into your hole, making you moan out in pleasure.
“what about jaemin?” he asked just when you thought he'd drop it. “a few more times with jaemin- ah-” you flinched back as jaehyun slapped your thigh because you kind of moaned jaemins name when jaehyun hit that one particular spot with his tongue. you quickly opened your eyes, scared of what would happen next but he only gave you a warning look, before putting his mouth back on you.
he didn't say anything more to that, accepting you answer as it was and letting go of your wrists, allowing you to drive your hands into his hair as he went right back in to eat you out like crazy.
after only a few minutes you were already close to your second orgasm and just as you were about to reach it he oiled away, and you almost cried from having your orgasm taken away by him. 
while you were complaining and cursing at him he simply smirked, quickly pulling off his hoodie and reviling his toned body to you which even tho you've seen it thousands of times before still stunned you. 
jaehyun straddled your core, the outline of his hard dick in his grey joggers very much visible to you as he spoke “how often with jaemin?”pulling off your hoodie from your already kinda sweaty body. a low groan escaped his mouth as he was met with the sight of your bare boobs. he's always loved your boobs, they were just perfect.
“i think four or five times” you hesitantly confessed, a little scared of his reaction as he just stared into your eyes for a second, processing what you had just said. 
right when you were about to open your mouth again, he leaned down to kiss you hungrily, his hand wrapping around your throat and slightly squeezing it which made you moan softly.
“mhm, open” he hummed, eyes fixated on your lips and your mouth fell open on instant, very much in submission to him. as soon as you did, he ket a ball of spit fall into your mouth, you swallowing it immediately “good girl” he hummed once again, caressing your cheek for a second before he quickly stripped of his sweats and boxers, revealing his hard dick, precut leaking down the reddened tip and goddamn it you never wanted to suck a dick more than right now.
“jae i want-” “i know baby” he chuckled, smoothly kneeling between your spread legs and aligning his dick with your pussy, letting it slide through your folds with ease, coating him in your juices which made both of you moan “as much as i love having you suck me off, i can't wait any longer”
and with that he pushed into you, making you cry at the stretch cause damn it that dick was big. he was quick in smashing his lips on yours, muffling your cries and whimpers while he struggled to stick to the slow pace he was pushing into you, he himself groaning into your mouth at the tightness of your walls. you were just so small compared to him and no matter how often he had fucked you before, you always had to adjust to his dick.
“god damn it how much i missed this” he hissed as soon as he was completely in you, his hands next to your head comforting you as he cooed “its okay baby, you can take it, tell me when i can move”
he kissed the small tears that rolled down your cheek away as you slowly relaxed, whimpers stopping and then you finally nodded. he pecked your nose once more before starting to pull out and pushing back in again, setting for a slow pace at first to which you easily adjusted.
“faster jae” you exhaled, eyes droopy as you craved for more. he smirked, gripping under your knees to push your thighs up your stomach, making you moan out loud at the new angle as his hips started snapping against yours.
“oh my god jae” you moaned, holding onto his biceps as he had his face buried in your neck, moaning and grunting against your skin. “did jaemin made you moan like this too baby?” he chuckled into your neck as he head you whine at that “bet you loved fucking through all of our friends, you sure you didn't fuck anyone else? i know haechan would do anything to fuck you” he breathed right into your ear “or our lovely taeyongie, he sometimes still brings up the fact that you and him made out at jennies party last summer”
you shook your head aggressively, wanting nothing more than to reach your high “only want you jae” “and i only want you baby” he hovered over you once again, hips still rutting against you as he brought two of his fingers up to your face and pushed them into your mouth, coating them in your spit before bringing them down to your clit, rubbing circles on it to get you to reach an orgasm as he was already feeling himself twitching, close to his orgasm.
he watched your boobs bounce up and down and he damned himself for not giving them more attention, but it was okay, now he can give them attention whenever he want to.
“im close jae!” you moaned out, curse words escaping your moth as you were on the begging of an orgasm. 
“come for me baby” he groaned into your ear, face in your neck once again, breathing in your addicting scent and he was about to burst “be my good girl and come for me”
as soon as those words left his mouth, you had reached your orgasm, tears of pleasure escaping your eyes and loud moans of his name were leaving your mouth. clenching hardly around him, your thighs were shaking as he came seconds after you, filling you with his cum as a deep groan escaped his throat.
“fuck” he exhaled, both your body rising and falling unevenly. both of you laid there for a few minutes, calming down with him still on top of and in you, before jaehyun lifted his head from your neck to look down at you. he smiled softly as you still had your eyes closed with flushed cheeks, swollen lips and a tears stained face, you looked so perfect under him, he could never get enough of you.
“you did so good baby, so pretty” he praised, brushing away some hair strands that were sticking to your wet skin before cupping your cheek and caressing your skin with his thumb “my pretty girl” he whispered, looking at you with a smile of pure adoration on his lips, his eyes sparkly as you slowly opened your eyes.
he noticed your eyes still a little unfocused to which he softly cooed “my baby” pecking your forehead which made a warm feeling spread in your body “how are you feeling, pretty?” he asked, voice a little raspy but still oh so soft as he spoke to you “i’m good, really good” you spoke in a hushed tone, smile on your lips even tho you were tired of everything.
smiling even more, he leaned down and kissed your lips gently, making you too smile even more as you kissed back.
“lets get cleaned up, hm?” you nodded and he pecked your lips once more before carefully pulling his softened dick out of you, watching his cum slip out of you with hooded eyes, he loved seeing it every time.
he massaged your thighs for a moment to get the tension out of them, making you sigh in an appreciating way. you closed your eyes for a moment while he continued massaging you before he got up from your bed and went into your bathroom, taking a towel and wetting it with warm water before cleaning himself and then getting another towel for you.
you opened your eyes as you took notice of jaehyuns presence in your bed again. he was now back in his sweats as he kneeled between your legs, wiping your core clean and everything else that got messy.
“do you want to change the sheets?” he asked as he pulled his earlier worn hoodie over your head, having noticed you started shivering before he got you a new pair of panties from your drawer and putting them on for you too.
you only sighed in response with a soft smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and snuggling into him, earning a chuckle from him as he pulled you even closer to his chest, making you mumble “lets change the sheets tomorrow, i just want to cuddle now”
“lets get under the blanket tho, don't want you to be freezing” he chuckled again, smoothly getting up from your bed with you around his waist so he could easily lift up the blanket and the two of you got under it, feeling warmer instantly. 
with still a soft smile on your lips, you closed your eyes and took everything in; his touch, his scent, his warmth, the love he showed you.
you still couldn't believe that he confessed to you, you still felt like a dream that you were his now (even tho you've always been) and he was yours now.
“jae?” “hm?” he hummed and when your lifted your head you found him already looking at you, nothing but love on his face and his eyes sparkling in the same way. you were sure yours were looking the exact same as you spoke “i love you”
his smile only widened even more at that, dimples showing as he caressed the back of your head lovingly “i love you” he said back, making you grin widely and you couldn't help but lean up and kiss him once more.                                        
you were finally happy. 
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
a/n: yayyyyy you've made it to the end! thank you sm for reading this imagine i hope you enjoyed it! if you have any requests or ideas for drabbels or imagines i could write about feel free to send me a message over the ‘talk to me’ button in my bio! love y'all and stay safe<3
2K notes · View notes
sunandalsomoon · 14 days ago
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jaehyun fic rec masterlist
fluff ✫   angst ✦   smut ❊    series ⊗
ao3
the umbrella against downpours of remembrance {98,549} ✫ ✦ ⊗
convenient solutions to love’s grim, grim dilemmas {121,173+} ✫ ✦ ⊗
stitch your heart upon the blossom of mine {435,184} ✫ ✦ ⊗
a melancholy weekend in december, or, when the end of us wasn’t the end {637, 249} ✫ ✦ ⊗
these r all ultra ultra ultra angsty and long but i recommend them so so so So so SOOO much omfg
smut
nnn ❊
honeymoon/newlyweds ✫ ❊
wet ❊
[2:02am] ❊
[7:45 pm] ❊
[22:51] ❊
anyone but him ✫ ❊
tease ❊
ass ❊
spooky sex ❊
location ❊
sweet ❊
too easy  ❊
fuck, don’t stop ❊
are you trying to turn me on? ❊
coming early ❊
like what you see?  ❊
90s au  ❊
red {0.5k} ❊
christmas decorations {689} ❊
condom test {0.7k+} ❊
good game {0.79k} ❊
suds {1k} ❊
9:36 pm {1.1k} ❊
sundress {1.1k} ❊ ⊗
is this what you wanted? {1.2k} ❊
red light {1.2k} ❊
sweet dreams {1,373} ❊
baby boy {1.4k} ❊
angel {1.4k} ❊
n side {1.4k} ✫❊
attention {1.4k} ❊
02:34 am {1.6k} ❊
make a wish {1.7k} ❊
can i help you? {1.8k} ✫❊
long day {1.9k} ❊
dangerous game {1.9k+} ❊
just move it like that {2k} ❊
distracted {2k} ❊
have yourself a horny little christmas {2k} ❊
home {2,024} ❊
punch {2.1k} ❊
anteros' arrow {2.3k} ✫ ❊
good for me {2,345} ❊
caught in the act {2.4k} ❊
bad day {2.4k} ❊
jealousy {2,481} ✫❊
gutless guise {2.5k+} ❊
high notes {2.6k} ❊
hacker {2.6k} ❊
stripped. {2,657} ❊
his good girl {2,678} ✫❊
cock-drunk {2.7k} ❊
make a wish {2.9k} ❊
sleep well? {2.9k+} ❊
profane {3k} ❊
can you {3.3k} ❊
self control {3,431} ✫❊
special occasions {3.5k} ✫ ❊ ⊗
sold {3,659} ❊
just like magic {4k+} ✫❊
dalliance in drudgery {4.6k} ✫❊
mr. jung {4.8k} ❊
valentinejae97 {5.2k} ❊
seeking {5,248} ❊
in front of you {5,684} ❊
honesty is the best policy {5.7k} ✫❊
render your heart {5.8k} ❊
make a mess out of you {5.8k} ✫❊
[adult swim] {5.8k} ❊
head over heels {5,818} ✫❊
hot girl bummer {6.2k} ✫❊
love talk  {6.4k+} ❊
first times {6.584k} ✫❊
freaks {8k} ❊
dive {9.2k} ❊
--------------------
sub!jaehyun ❊ ⊗
sugar daddy!jaehyun ✫ ❊ ⊗
home ❊ ⊗
can’t keep away  ❊ ⊗
you don't make it to the bedroom ❊ ⊗
smile for the camera ❊ ⊗
fluff
[12:48 pm]✫
[11:52 pm] ✫
don't tempt me ✫
breathe out and exhale ✫
nostalgic ✫
[8:14 am] ✫
[8:00 pm] ✫
can i taste you? ✫
stupid boy ✫
[02:45] ✫
it's you, you my babe ✫
[9:33 am] ✫
make out with me ✫
[23:39] ✫
[9:15pm] ✫
[1:02am] ✫
[7:25pm] ✫
you’re stained with my lipstick
11:15  {279} ✫
first kiss {392} ✫
boyfriend!jaehyun  {0.4k} ✫
[11:48] {555} ✫  
date night {630} ✫
reckless {0.7k} ✫
thangs {1.6k} ✫
sleep time {1,760} ✫
boyfriend {1.9k} ✫
the stages {2.4k+} ✫
at first sight.. {2,554} ✫
--------------------
pride and pretentious ✫ ⊗
angst
[00:17] ✦ 
when y/n divorces jaehyun ✦
[9:23pm] ✦
love you goodbye ✦
exes!au ✦
baby, it’s 3:00 am ✦
uncertain {1,261} ✦
in a dream {1.5k} ✦
broke it all {2,417} ✦
persephone {2.9k} ✦
breakup!fic {3,688} ✦
say something {3,857} ✦
etc.
"there's no one else to worry about. it's just you." ✫ ❊
nothing's gonna hurt you baby {1.1k} ✫ ❊
love is not enough {3.984k} ✫ ❊
love grows {4,425} ✫❊
iluvia {6.6k} ✫❊
i like me better (when i’m with you) {11,896} ✫❊
1-800-poet {13.8k} ✫❊
--------------------
stay tonight  {1.48k} ✦ ❊
arranged {3.5k} ✦ ❊
during the fall {5.1k} ✦ ❊
i'm not the only one  {6.8k} ✦ ❊
--------------------
[2.12am] ✫ ✦
[2:40pm] ✫ ✦
tender heart  ✫ ✦
the one with the hangover {1k} ✫ ✦
city of angels {4.6k} ✫ ✦
and in the end {6.2k} ✫ ✦
you don’t deserve me {6.4k} ✫ ✦
seven letters {10.1k+} ✫ ✦
the more you know, the harder you fall  {10.8k} ✫ ✦
build me up, buttercup {13.5k+} ✫ ✦
song for a little sparrow {13.7k+} ✫ ✦
sun&moon {14.6k+} ✫ ✦ 
ethereal {16.7k} ✫ ✦ 
ordinary people {18.3k+} ✫ ✦ 
once again {25.2k} ✫ ✦
--------------------
day & night fun ✫ ✦ ❊
ex bf turned fwb ✫ ✦ ❊
never know ✫ ✦ ❊
[21:49]  {2.3k} ✫ ✦ ❊
playing with fire  {2,490} ✫ ✦ ❊
try again {3,623} ✫ ✦ ❊
ancient history {5.24k} ✫ ✦ ❊
the art of seduction - the beauty {5.578k} ✫ ✦ ❊ 
professional {7k} ✫ ✦ ❊
jaehyun's body {7k} ✫ ✦ ❊
love to hate me {7.514k} ✫ ✦ ❊
the louvre {9k} ✫ ✦ ❊
baby {9124} ✫ ✦ ❊
one more time {9.4k} ✫ ✦ ❊
i want u (around) {9.4k} ✫ ✦ ❊
watch the stars burn out {9.8k} ✫ ✦ ❊
sex {10k} ✫ ✦ ❊
love me or leave me {12k+} ✫ ✦ ❊
sweet {13,707} ✫ ✦ ❊
i hate that i love you {14.1k} ✫ ✦ ❊
team captain {14.2k} ✫ ✦ ❊
stages of love {15k+} ✫ ✦ ❊
paradiso {15.3k} ✫ ✦ ❊
checkmate {16.8k} ✫ ✦ ❊
winter bird {17.3k} ✫ ✦ ❊
no one wishes at the snow {18k} ✫ ✦ ❊ 
cynosure- a focal point of admiration {20.4k} ✫ ✦ ❊
promised {20.9k} ✫ ✦ ❊
bad habits {21k} ✫ ✦ ❊ 
let it go {22.7k}  ✫ ✦ ❊
gilded gold {22,845} ✫ ✦ ❊
you're the one {23.9k} ✫ ✦ ❊
two steps {24k} ✫ ✦ ❊
everything happens for a reason {25k} ✫ ✦ ❊
cupid victorious {26.5k+} ✫ ✦ ❊
all these years [34.5k] ✫ ✦ ❊ 
--------------------
planet girl ✫ ✦ ⊗
all i see is red ✫ ✦ ⊗
when icarus falls ✫ ✦ ⊗
let me know ✫ ✦ ⊗
the one with the roommates  ✫ ✦ ⊗
nevermind, let's break up ✫ ✦ ⊗
--------------------
healing ✫ ❊ ⊗
--------------------
obsession ✦ ❊ ⊗
--------------------
just friends ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
our kids talk about us ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
under your skin ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
victus tamen lapsis ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
feel me ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
devoted ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
elevator music  ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
valentine boy  ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
rivals ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
feels like summer ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
philophobia ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
quarantine chronicles ✫ ✦ ❊ ⊗
1K notes · View notes
imagineinnie · 16 days ago
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holly, jolly christmas (m) | j.jh
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❄︎ summary :: for christmas, jaehyun would've preferred to stay with you at home, but his parents insisted it to be a perfect time for a family gathering, and you, of course. he didn't know that the big family would give him a longing feeling for his own family.
❄︎ contents :: jaehyun x afab!reader, non!idol au, FLUFF, slice of life, established relationship, mentions of alcohol and unhappy marriages, lovey dovey stuff, SMUT; kissing, oral (r receiving), hair pulling, missionary, jaehyun calls himself daddy (once and non-sexually), slight bulge kink, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie.
❄︎ wc :: 4.1k
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❄︎ a/n :: this is a part of the secret santa collab (@neosecretsanta)! hope you all are having a good christmas or any other holiday you might be celebrating, a special happy holidays to inna (@ncteaxhoe)! hope you enjoy and like it :D (@nct-frathouse)
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jaehyun smiled as you softly hummed along to the tunes playing in the car. his mom had decided that the jeong family would have a big gathering for christmas, all of the family members making time in their busy schedules for the trip to the mountains. jaehyun didn't want to overwhelm you with his family, even though you already had met his parents, he didn't know if it was the right decision to introduce you to his aunts and cousins all at once. you had handled the news well, telling him that; even if the plan you and him had made to just, be at home, exchange small gifts, a trip with his family was also a nice way to spend your vacation.
it wasn't a complete lie.
you looked like you were handling it well, but nerves and anxiety was prickling away inside of you. his mom liked you, you knew that. she had bought you a birthday gift, she even sends weekly messages, just to check up on you and jaehyun.
his dad was still a puzzle. he had an expressionless face, almost intimidating, like jaehyun. sometimes, a small smile would grace his face, before returning to a non-frown frown. he didn't say a lot, and you didn't know whether it was good or not.
jaehyun had told you to not worry, but it was still hard to not.
you didn't want to spend a few days with a family who didn't approve of you.
one of his hands held the steering wheel, that was way too cold for comfort, and the other held onto your hand when you weren't on your phone, or switching songs. you had stopped multiple times along the drive, to buy coffee, a snack or just to run to the bathroom. it wasn't a particularly long drive, but enough hours to make your back hurt and head ache.
"we're soon there." your head shifted from the passing trees outside to where he looked at the gps. a few kilometres left until the turn up to the cabin was due, it wasn't a fun hill to drive up, rocky and curvy all the way. and once you actually got up, the shitload of cars parked made you wonder if it was a family or a whole village coming to celebrate a holiday. jaehyun looked towards you as he put the car in park, and the way you gazed along the row of black cars, made him realize that maybe you weren't fine with such a big gathering.
you still climbed into the cabin, squeezing jaehyun's hand in anxiety as he dragged you along to greet everyone and wave towards people who met your eye. there were women and men perched on the couches, with a glass in their hands laughing about something you couldn't relate to. the kitchen was also a social point, laughter bouncing against the walls. and everyone hadn't even arrived yet. some people, jaehyun's parents for example, would drop in early morning for christmas.
you felt a bit out of place as jaehyun shook hands and hugged with so many people, his hair brushed in a charming way, and the suit that was casually worn only made him look like he was even more home.
"this is my girlfriend, y/n." he wrapped an arm around your waist when he introduced you to his relatives, so many eyes shifted over you, drowning in your appearance as they judged.
the first person to speak to you that late night was an older woman, she had been on her way to the bathroom when you bumped into each other, she didn't say her name, but remembering jaehyun's guide, you assumed she was his dad's sister.
jaehyun's aunt.
"y/n, right?" you nodded in confirmation, "you look stunning, dear. how long did you say you and jaehyun have been together?" you didn't know whether the compliment was genuine or not, but you knew that you hadn't mentioned anything about how long you'd been together at all.
"four years, and counting." she smiled, her eyes lighting up as the apples of her cheeks bunched up. her hands were gripping yours tightly, and you were so close you could almost see yourself in the reflection of her round glasses.
"four years? and he still hasn't put a ring on your finger?" she grazed her fingertip against the skin where a ring usually would be perched. you shook your head as your eyebrows furrowed at her comment. did she think you didn't want marriage? or maybe that you weren't serious about jaehyun?
"no, not yet atleast." she looked up from your hands, eyes meeting yours when she didn't get a lot of response.
"not much of a talker? it's okay, this big family freaked me out a lot too at first, in thirty years you'll be as comfortable as i am." you smiled at her, atleast someone was welcoming and nice, it felt uncomfortable in the house when the only person you knew was jaehyun. "jaehyun must be stupid to not have proposed, or maybe you will propose soon enough, can you imagine his father's face? you should definitely do that." she laughed slightly to herself, continuing to talk, even if she got little response from you. "my brother can be quite intense, don't let him scare you, hopefully jaehyun inherited mine and his mother's charm." she let out a noise to resemble shivering, as if the thought of her brother's horrible charisma scared her.
"don't worry, jaehyun has gotten a lot from his mother." she smiled at you and dropped your hands, reminding herself of the bathroom she was headed to until distracted, and waved at you in goodbye before departing.
you turned around and walked back, it was quite late, and the big windows gazing out over the mountain tops made you cherish the view so much more. it felt peaceful for a moment, until you heard the door open and another party of relatives dropped in.
cheers and greetings were heard, and you jumped slightly as a hand gripped your shoulder, this time, it was jaehyun. his eyes laced with alcohol, only a little bit, and as he guided you to your room, with the explanation of being tired, you followed suit. the bed was large enough for two people, but still so small that you layed squished together. not that it bothered you, falling asleep with your head on his chest.
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you woke up in the same position, legs curled around his to embrace the warmth whilst you had it. if it wasn't for the loud feet running down the hallway outside, you would've gladly stayed in bed with jaehyun for the rest of the day. yet, as kids ran down the hall disturbing your peace, you both climbed down the stairs as the smell of food made you both hover to the kitchen.
this time, you met the woman who always looked mad— jaehyun's words— also known as his cousin. she wasn't that much older than you, only in her early to mid thirties. yet, she was constantly stressed, and never had time to relax. with multiple kids running around, and her husband not caring enough to help her. you didn't judge her for being stressed. she was always home, cooking and cleaning, you felt bad for her, it was like her husband thought they were in the 50s again. she took care of their four children, driving them to school, making and packing lunch, helping them clean and cooking dinner when they got home, and helping with their homework. poor woman.
beside her was jaehyun's other cousin, a man who looked like he was in his late twenties, he tried to help his sister. taking stuff out of her hands, help her whisk the whipped cream, putting away the cutting boards and knife when she got too aggressive with the chopping of a banana. he hugged her, and told her to get out of the kitchen and take a bath or something, and once she had dropped the apron, it was like a wave of fresh air. the cousin took a deep breath and was currently humming a melody to himself as his husband tried to be of assistance.
it was cute.
he introduced himself to you, hugging his cousin who he didn't have time to greet the day before. looking at them besides each other, you were shocked at how similar jaehyun and his cousin was. you locked eyes with the cousin's husband, who was also impressed by the strong genes. the cousins were both on jaehyun's father's side of the family. and the aunt you met earlier must've been his and his sister's mother.
the loud arrival of another party took your attention, and when an older woman gave you a hug and complemented you on your looks, you immediately recognized her as jaehyun's mother. behind her stood a large man. jaehyun's father was big, a tall man with a heavy build who was very intimidating. but you didn't let it show.
the woman then went on to hug her son, kissing his cheeks after pinching them.
you still felt so out, as the men and women around you dressed in skirts, blouses, dresses and suits, you were still wearing what you did to bed. a large shirt, which belonged to jaehyun, and a pair of sweatpants. along with fuzzy socks, the floor was cold.
you couldn't care less about what his family thought of you tho, clothes wise, you weren't a rich employee at a boring company that would never get you anywhere. hell, even jaehyun didn't like his job, yet he spent so much time at work.
you want your sweatpants, you wear your sweatpants.
even when you all sat down to eat breakfast, you didn't care that you fit it perfectly with the messy clad children. you and jaehyun sat by the kids that weren't infants. that would've been suicide. toddlers was a step up, but not a huge one. they were atleast cute, with a badly cut bangs and small hands that hugged the bottle of syrup. oh, it was way too much syrup.
you smiled at the kids, helping one of them cut pieces of their food, or pouring up juice for them. jaehyun smiled at you who smiled at the kids. he adored the sight of you being so cute with children, something in him felt so right to see you with little kids. he wanted children of his own someday, and he wanted them with you. he wasn't sure himself why you didn't have a kid, or why you weren't married. a part of him thought that he was too busy with work, he didn't want you to end up like his cousin; in an unhappy marriage with several children who only stressed you out more. he atleast loved you, something that he wasn't sure his cousin's husband did. leaving her at home like that.
he had thought about having children— well not so much about taking care of another life, looking after another person, he was more thinking about what led up to a child. making it, and watching you become a mother, growing responsible together. he would love to see you bearing a child, his child, that he forever marked you with as his. showing everyone that he wasn't afraid of building a life with you, around you. making a family.
and seeing you pregnant? fuck that would be the icing on the cake, the cherry on top— whatever.
jaehyun smiled with his bottom lip between his teeth as you talked to the children, you were so oblivious to the lewd thoughts he had about your innocent actions. almost hitting himself for thinking of you like that when you weren't doing anything on purpose to make his fantasies run wild. hell even his mom noticed her son's attention on you when you helped the kids, smiling to herself as she lightly patted her sister-in-law's shoulder, and nodded to where her son was sitting. they were giggling amongst themselves, and they didn't stop giggling, even as hey day went on, and you and jaehyun disappeared from their sight, they talked about how jaehyun was so head over heels for you, and how if you didn't say you were either engaged or pregnant soon, they would personally tell jaehyun to man the fuck up.
you were perfect for jaehyun. they didn't want to see you go because of jaehyun being a coward.
they even made sure that you both would get stuck with the children at one point during the week retreat. making the kids play hide and seek in a place they knew you were, to make you join and spend more time with kids. so you could realize that you wanted a few yourself. jaehyun saw right through it, shaking his head at his aunt and mother when he noticed their odd behavior, and quickly dismissed their longing and wish for a child.
he wanted one, but having his family push children upon you two doesn't seem like something he would want, nor you for that matter. the pressure of getting pregnant would be through the roof, and he would rather it not work the first few times, as bad as it sounded. it was a good excuse for fucking you raw.
his mind strayed away quickly, and watching you on the floor, building lego with his nieces and nephews, he couldn't help but adore you. how happy you looked. he would definitely have a conversation with you about this later— actually, it probably wouldn't involve a lot of talking.
control yourself.
as much as he wanted to have you right there and then, turned on by you bending over before him, collecting pieces of yellow plastic bricks to help build a castle— he WOULD NOT want to have sex where more than half of his relatives were staying, in a small bedroom with a bed made for a teenager where anyone could come in. he was not up for traumatizing his mother nor a child. they didn't have to see those kind of things.
even if, he was majorly turned on by the image of you bent over for him, kind of like you were doing currently, only instead of trying to seperate flat lego bricks, you were desperately trying to stay quiet as he fucked you full of him.
jaehyun suddenly looked lost, his eyes had long been zoning out, and as he felt heat washing over him, he needed go get out of there.
which is why you found him standing in front of an open window, basking in the waves of cold air.
"what the hell are you doing?" jaehyun turned around to look at you.
"i was warm." he shrugged.
the back of your hand went up to touch his forehead, feeling his temperature. "are you alright? do you have a fever? you know kids in the winter carry diseases-" you got cut off by his hand squishing together your cheeks, your lips making a pout he found adorable.
"you're so cute." he placed a kiss against your lips, dropping his hand from your face.
"wha- jae close the window it's fucking freezing." he watched you shiver, crossing your arms over your chest, but not before he caught a glimpse of your nipples standing out from teh fabric of his shirt.
"i can see that-" you scoffed, watching how he ran a hand through his long hair, "i had to get some air, mom doesn't have to see that i got hard from you playing with kids." you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, his honesty gave you whiplash sometimes.
"you got hard from seeing me with kids? should i be turned on, concerned or be in awe?" you put your arms around his neck, letting his hands find your hips, and pulling you closer, chest to chest.
"uhm, a mix?" he squinted his eyes at you, and you only let out a laugh before kissing him.
"you know, i like to see you with kids too." he shared a lazy smile.
"yeah?"
"yeah, get a huge boner." he laughed, closing the window behind him before allowing your arms around him again. "jokes aside, you know i want kids with you." he did know that, it wasn't your first time talking about the future.
"i know, we're waiting for the right moment, according to mom this seems to be the perfect one." you shared smiles this time, his mother hadn't been very sneaky, tapping on everyone of her family to see you and jaehyun with those kids. at one point his dad got annoyed and avoided being around you and jaehyun so he could read the newspaper in peace.
"oh i know, they wants us married and with kids." your hand had slid down his front, touching his chest over the material of his shirt.
"i can fix that, give me an hour." you grinned at him, shaking your head.
"you'll propose and get me pregnant within an hour?" he hummed along, getting distracted for a moment by your hand grabbing at his bicep.
"you're forgetting who you're talking to." you shared another kiss, and jaehyun didn't know how much longer he could be around you before taking you on the dresser down the hall.
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he didn't end up taking you on the dresser, he didn't get you a ring winthin an hour either. he atleast tried to keep his promise of getting you pregnant.
you were laying on the small bed jaehyun had sworn not to have sex on. your thighs were on either sides of his head, and he enjoyed the sight of you spread out for him as he marked your skin with beautiful bruises. his tongue licked at your clit, whilst his fingers prodded at your slit, stretching you open for him, getting you ready.
you were already soaked for him, a fact that made jaehyun ecstatic, and as he watched your pussy suck in his fingers, he almost let out a moan, remembering the cluster of people in the house. he never wanted to see anything else then what he saw right now, your naked body, arched with pleasure as your hands gripped at the out grown hair you claimed to love. if he could stay between your legs forever, he would. maybe just not in that exact house.
his tongue parted your folds, leaving a trail of spit to your slit. his tongue replaced his fingers, working inside of you slowly, building up your climax. it curled, the muscle going in and out of you in a motion that only got faster and faster. he had you arching for him, his eyes stuck on the way your tits bounced for him, hand gripping at your thigh, the other rubbing teasingly at your clit. it was heaven.
you shivered from the pleasure, your orgasm just around the corner. you were almost scared to rip his hair out with the grip you had on it, but he groaned quietly everytime you pulled, adding on to the pleasure. your forehead had a thin layer of sweat, his hands were warm on your body, burning you with his touch.
"i'm so close, jaehyun please." it came out more whiny then intended, your face twisting into a grimace of pain and pleasure as your orgasm hit, body falling flat against the mattress for a few seconds, his fingers rubbing at your swollen clit, adding stimulation to your sensitive body. the room was already hot, your bodies aching to be together and apart at the same time.
"you did good for me, can you move up or should daddy help you?" you moved up slightly in the bed, your head clouded with lewd thoughts and tired from the pleasure you had felt.
"you're not a daddy yet, don't jinx it." he grinned, he wasn't a dad, yet.
his hands were in the air in a sign of peace, "i'm not jinxing it! after this you're gonna be nice and full and pregnant..." he drifted off in the end, voice getting lower when his hips rested before yours, eyes ghosting over where your sex layed open for him, hands drifting over your belly where he could already imagine a bump.
"we have a few minutes until the hour is over, you might just make it." you smirked at him, small laughs coming out as he touched your sides, tickling you slightly. his hands held your thighs, pulling them towards him as his dick was guided into you. it stood hard and pround against him, and the stretch made it even harder to keep quiet.
he went in more by the second, hips touching hips as he bottomed out, his eyes searching for any discomfort. you nodded to show him a sign of consent, encouraging him to pull out slightly, and push back in with a low groan. the more he pulled out, the more pleasure it gave you. hard thrusts meeting the spot inside of you that made your toes curl and back arch high. it was his favorite sight. your tits pushed up against him as he leaned down to kiss on your collarbone. his hands pushed your thighs up, reaching even deeper inside of you from the new angle.
"fuck you look so pretty for me, all spread out, ready to take my cum, hmm?" you nodded, letting out a whimper as his thrusts got shorter, but harder. "gonna get you nice and pregnant, everyone will now how i fucked you so good, how well i filled you up."
his hand touched your lower stomach again, feeling a slight bulge, groaning from the realization. he couldn't wait to see you with a bump from a baby, would you imagine his mothers reaction to the news? he was really doing a blessing for everyone.
"very quiet today, scared those old people downstairs are gonna hear how much you turn me on? how easily you fold for me? fuck what will they think when we tell them you're pregnant, knowing i fucked you full of my cum, huh?" he didn't get a response, but your quiet moans and whimpers, along with the way you clenched around him had him feeling the need for release soon, waiting patiently for your orgasm before allowing himself to. he rubbed your clit, watching how it made you shiver with pleasure.
your bodies were hot, and his touch made you warm and cold at the same time. his hands burned you with desire, marking you as his for anyone who would try to do the same. he wished that he could cherish how he had you, taking a mental picture to remember how fucked out you looked, only for him.
you came with a few muffled words, enjoying the feeling of his cum inside of you, and the way his cock was still warm inside of your snug walls. your bodies were limp, his body on top of yours as you played with the head of hair that layed on your chest. you could feel him inside of you even when he pulled out, the tiredness washing over you as he made a move to leave from your embrace.
he opened a window, letting the cool air chill your sweaty bodies, and it made you even more keen to just, drift off to dreamland. your post sex cuddles were interrupted by a knock on the door, jaehyun's mom's voice being heard through the piece of wood as she yelled 'dinner'. her heels were heard tapping down the hallway rapidly, and a small giggle leaving her lips.
jaehyun rolled his eyes, helping you dress as you made your way up from the bed. the sheets were sticky, as well as your thighs. jaehyun only chuckled at your messy state.
"we'll take a shower later babe, keep my cum inside of you during the dinner and i'll join you in there." he smirked as you rolled your eyes, grabbing a nearby hairbrush to not make it too obvious as to why you and jaehyun were missing for an hour.
the dinner wasn't all too awkward, but neither you or jaehyun could ignore the eyes his parents and aunt had on you both. you were feeding a child besides you whilst jaehyun smiled, ignoring the way his aunt and mother giggled again. they definitely knew, and weren't mad about it in the slightest. you squirmed uneasily in your seat from the uncomfortable mess in your pants, but jaehyun only rested his arm around you, smirking to himself.
he had one thing checked off his to-do list, now he only needed a ring.
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© 2021, imagineinnie - all rights reserved.
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ppangjae · 2 months ago
Text
NEVERMIND, LET’S BREAK UP | ONE.
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SUMMARY. Summer flings are summer flings. But not you and Jaehyun. The both of you have a 3-month relationship contract that renews every summer. When summer ends, your contract is terminated until next summer. But what if one summer, Jaehyun comes up to the cottage with a new girlfriend? 
GENRE. fluff | comedy | hint of angst 
word count. 6.5k+ words
pairing. jaehyun x fem!reader
author’s note. alas, here she is! let me explain why i decided to post it in two parts, though! i decided to post it in two parts just because it’ll be easier that way. i’m sorry for taking so long to post this! but here.. please take this first part as part of my apology :( happy reading~
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PART ONE. | PART TWO.
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People always ask you why you look forward to spending your summer up at the cottage. Your answer? It’s complicated. But your answer no longer becomes complicated the moment you see him, your annual 3-month fling, Jeong Jaehyun.
From a first glance, it’s quite simple. Boy next door meets girl next door. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl falls in love with boy. But when you take a closer look, it’s more complicated than you would think. When summer ends, it means that the relationship must end too. When summer ends, you and Jaehyun go back to your daily lives at opposite ends of the world. He flies back abroad to finish his university degree and you drive back to the city to finish yours.
Summer flings are summer flings. But not you and Jaehyun.
The both of you have a 3-month relationship contract that renews every summer.
But what if—
“Y/N, meet my girlfriend, Jiho.”
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It all started the summer of fifteen.
Hormones. Puberty. Stupid teenagers. All the like. It’s the summer after you and Jaehyun had graduated from high school. The highs of graduation and prom still linger in the air as you both let the realization of university’s hardships hit you when the summer ends. 
That summer, though, Jaehyun looked different. Sun-kissed skin, slightly sunburnt, rosy cheeks, the lingering smell of spice and musk. He looked different. He looked especially different when you were the one looking at him. He simply glowed.
“I know that you like me, Y/N.” And oh, is he absolutely right. “I like you so much that I always look forward to spending the summer up at the cottage. I look forward to seeing you, being able to talk to you, and spending time with you.”
You look up at him, pulling your roasted marshmallow away from the bonfire. You snort. “What a great way to end the summer. Confess your feelings knowing that we won’t see each other until next summer—”
“Do you like me too, at least?” He asks, eyes hopeful.
You chuckle, nodding your head. “I thought I was quite obvious with my feelings for you, Jaehyun. But the only thing holding me back is that we only see each other three months out of twelve.”
He takes a quick bite of his smores, “which is why I have an idea.”
“An idea?”
He hums in reply, “a contract.” You tilt your head in confusion.
“A contract?”
He’s in the middle of putting another marshmallow on his roasting stick. He clears his throat and begins to roast his marshmallow. With eyes focused on you, he says, “a three-month renewable contract.”
“Please tell me you’re joking—”
“No, but think about it for a second!” He exclaims. “We only see each other three months out of twelve. We both know that we both like each other. Wouldn’t it make sense to be in a relationship for three months and then—”
“Break up with summer ends?” You snort, saying jokingly. 
He looks at you seriously. “Yeah. Exactly.”
It takes you a couple of seconds to realize that he’s not joking. It takes you a couple of more seconds to realize that he did have a point. But it takes you a couple of minutes to make a decision. Looking up at the lavender skies, you hold in a sigh. The sun no longer sets late at night. The sun no longer rises early in the morning. Time no longer ticks slowly. The days are going by faster before your eyes. Goodbye sunsets, goodbye early sunrises.
Goodbye summer.
“Fine.”
“F-Fine?” He stares at you, eyes wide like saucers.
“Let’s do it. The whole ‘annual three-month relationship’ thing… let’s do it.”
If you could implant the way Jaehyun’s face lit up into your brain forever, you would do it. His face lights up and he moves over to sit right next to you. Pulling out his phone, he reads the date and smiles.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend for the last twenty-eight days of the summer?”
Summer is slowly coming to an end, and so is your annual 3-month relationship with the boy next door. Nothing could go wrong, right?
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Wrong.
Absolutely wrong. You wish you could go back to the summer of fifteen, yell at yourself and explain how much of a horrible idea this contract was.
It’s extremely difficult to keep yourself together when his new girlfriend decides to take a seat right across from you at the dining table. Like the perfect boyfriend he is, Jaehyun occupies the seat right next to her, placing heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes and slices of steak onto her plate. He used to do that for you. But you pay no mind to it.
“When’s your convocation, Jaehyun?” Your mother asks. Right. You and Jaehyun are graduating this year. 
To kick off your 3-month summer up at the cottage, both of your parents have dinner together on the first night you all arrive. If you were quite honest, you were looking forward to being up at the cottage this summer. You couldn’t wait to see him. But you weren’t expecting to see not only him… but her.
“My faculty scheduled the graduation ceremony for November,” he answers. He glances at Jiho. “Is that right, babe?”
You almost choke on your food. Slowly looking up from your plate, you observe her as she looks at Jaehyun with so much love and admiration before nodding her head. It makes you want to throw up. You used to look at him like that. Is that really how you looked when you were in love with him? You’re still in love with him now, but seeing it from an outsider’s perspective makes it feel extremely odd.
“Right.” Jiho smiles. Suddenly, she turns towards you and you’ve been caught already looking at her. WIth eyebrows raised, you muster up the smallest smile. “I hope you invited Y/N to your graduation.”
You wave it off, “our graduation ceremonies are on the same day, so I won’t be able to attend.”
Jaehyun laughs. “Yeah. Our universities are at opposite ends of the globe too. It’s not like Y/N could fly across the world right after her graduation ceremony just to attend mine.”
You would. You’re that in love with him. But you don’t need to do that anymore, he has a girlfriend. They’re both graduating together at the same university with the same degree. It’s like fate had decided they were right for each other and you’re nothing but a fling, a fling that holds memories.
“Oh,” Jiho frowns. You’re not quite sure if it’s fake. “That’s sad. It’s okay, Y/N, I’ll take pictures for you.”
You fake a smile, “you don’t need to, but thanks. I appreciate it.” 
“So, how long have you been dating?”
You’re in the midst of slicing yourself a piece of steak when your mother’s question stops you. It’s silent for a second and it prompts you to look back up at them again, waiting curiously for their answers. They’re staring at each other before turning towards your mother to answer her interrogative questions.
“Eleven months.”
“Nine months.”
Huh? You quirk an eyebrow. Out of nowhere, your eyes meet Jaehyun’s from across the table. He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t seem to read. But it’s the same exact expression he gave you in the summer of fifteen, at the bonfire where you both roasted marshmallows. It’s enough to give you butterflies. His gaze is interrupted when Jiho playfully slaps his arm.
“Babe, you’re counting the months of our talking stage!” She laughs. “Those months don’t count. We’ve only been dating for nine months. We started talking in May. But we started dating in late July.”
Started talking in May, started dating in July. 
You’re trying so hard not to burst out into flames. This meant that while you and Jaehyun were in your annual 3-month relationship last summer, he was already talking to his girlfriend. While you and Jaehyun were nearing the termination of your annual 3-month relationship contract, he was already preparing himself to be in another relationship with someone else.
With her.
And if that’s not enough to set off the anger and jealousy pumping in your veins…
Then you’re not sure what is.
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It takes you two sleepless nights of crying to finally get over it. But to get over him? It’ll definitely take you more than two sleepless nights.
Kicking off your house slippers and replacing them with running shoes, you take a quick sip of your water before heading out for your morning run. It’s still a bit cold outside. At five in the morning, the sun is already beginning to rise.
It’s been taking you longer than usual to get into the habit of things. Lately, you haven’t been feeling quite yourself lately. You’ve spent many months waiting for this summer where you could finally see Jaehyun again, only for all of it to go to waste. Nine months out of twelve just yearning and being in love with someone you’re not even in a relationship with. Three months out of twelve to finally date that person… but only for three months. Once those three months are up, you’re back to yearning and being in love with them from afar for the next nine months. It’s a repeated cycle and sometimes you wonder why you do this to yourself.
You’re not one to be petty or one to get jealous. You have the tendency to brush off your emotions as if they’re nothing. But you won’t even deny the fact that seeing the two of them together makes you feel emotions you’ve never thought or imagined you would feel. Jealousy. Anger. Confusion. All are mixed with your insecurities. Your insecurities were the culprit of your past two sleepless nights.
Is there something missing?
Is there something she has that you don’t?
Are you someone that’s easy to give up on? Easily to get tired of? 
Are you someone that’s only worth three months?
You slowly come to a stop, out of breath. Bending over, you try to catch your breath. Heaving in and out, you realize that you’ve been so out of shape. Insecurities. Here they come again.
“Are you okay, there?” It’s an unfamiliar voice.
To your right stands a guy who looks just around your age. He has a look of concern washed all over his face. When you’ve finally caught your breath, you let out a soft chuckle and nod your head. “Yes, thanks for asking.”
He breaks out into a beautiful smile, showing his pearly white teeth. He almost looks perfect. Sun-kissed skin. Raven hair. Eyes like beautiful crescents. He looks harmless. “I was out on my morning job as well and I saw you bent over. I figured I’d come over just to check if you were alright.”
Wow, he’s breathtakingly beautiful. “O-Oh, thanks—”
“And your shoelaces are untied.” 
Indeed, your shoelaces are untied. Reaching down to tie them, you bump heads with the stranger. The both of you burst out into soft laughter.
“Sorry about that,” he apologizes. 
Waving it off, you shake your head. “No worries. I hope I didn’t bump your head too hard. I have a big forehead with lots of surface area.”
His laughter grows louder and more cheerful that it rings your ears in such a nice way. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as his chest vibrates with laughter. He goes ahead and ties your shoelaces. When he finally ties them, he looks up at you and extends his hand out. “I’m Mingyu, by the way. I’m quite new to this local town, we just moved into the cottage down the road. And you are?”
And you are just taken aback at how beautiful and nice he is. He has the best of both worlds, you decide. 
“Y/N.” You gawk at him. He’s handsome.
He smiles. “Y/N. I’ll remember that name.”
“I bet you’ll remember me as that girl with the big ass forehead—”
“Or as the cute girl that jogs every morning?” He shrugs his shoulders, “take your pick.”
Speechless, you tilt your head in confusion. Is he… flirting with you?
“I—”
“I’ll see you around, Y/N. Nice to meet you.”
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As soon as you arrive home after your morning jog, you find your parents already sitting at the dining table having breakfast. Kicking off your shoes, you hear Jaehyun’s low chuckle and you freeze. Sneaking a peek into the dining room, you spot Jaehyun, his girlfriend, and his parents joining your parents for breakfast. Walking towards them, your mother gestures to you to take the empty seat right beside her. 
“Y/N, where were you? When we woke up, you were nowhere to be found.” Your father questions.
You chuckle sheepishly as you’re reaching to grab the plate of sausages and bacon. Suddenly, Jaehyun’s reaching out to grab the same plate at the same time. Your hands brush each other but immediately repel like the same ends of a magnet. Avoiding his gaze, you grab the plate. “I was out on a morning jog.”
“By the way, we have new neighbours,” your mother begins, “they moved in a week before we arrived.”
“Is that so?” Jaehyun’s mother chimes into the conversation after pouring herself a tall glass of orange juice. “I bumped into them yesterday on my way back from the market. It’s just the three of them; the couple and their son. He looks just around Jaehyun’s age.”
You nod your head, “I think I bumped into him this morning as well. We were both out on a morning jog.”
“I don’t seem to recall their son’s name but it was something like Minhyuk or—”
“Was it Mingyu?”
“Yes! Mingyu. What a lovely young man. I saw him helping his mother carry all the grocery bags back to their cottage.” Jaehyun’s mother praises Mingyu, finishing her plate of breakfast. 
Smiling, you agree with her, “he is quite nice—” Jaehyun drops his fork and lets out a string of curses. 
The dining table grows silent as Jaehyun reaches down to pick up his fork. When Jaehyun continues to finish his meal, you can’t help but notice how he’s clenching his jaw. You hate to overlook things, but with the way he’s grown silent, you can’t help but think he’s… affected.
“Everything alright, Jaehyun?” Jiho asks with concern. 
Glancing at Jaehyun, he diverts his eyes away from his girlfriend to meet yours. There is an expression you can’t seem to read. He tears his eyes away from you and nods. “I’m fine. I think I’m still a bit tired.”
“I hope you’re not that tired because we’re going to the beach—” There’s a knock at the door.
Everyone turns towards the door. Your mother gets up from her seat and heads towards the door. As she opens it, your eyes light up when you see the familiar morning jogger standing at the door. A wave of familiarity and sincerity washes over Jaehyun’s mother’s face as she realizes it’s the new neighbour—
“Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt your meal. I just wanted to stop by and drop off some pastries my mother and I made. We’re new to the town and—” He begins his spiel until his eyes meet yours and his lips twitch into a warm smile. “—we figured that we’d bake some treats for our new neighbours.”
“Thank you for the pastries, we’ll definitely enjoy them. Y/N especially loves baked goods.” Your mother gladly takes the box of pastries. “We’re actually going to the beach later on today, we’d love it if you join us—”
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to intrude—”
“No, please. For the pastries.” Your mother doesn’t take no for an answer. “Besides, I’m sure you’ve already met my daughter, Y/N. We’d love to have you join. In this town, we’re all closely-knitted. Like family.”
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The sun is blinding. There are kids everywhere. They’re chasing after one another, they’re building wonky sandcastles that don’t even look like sandcastles, and they’re burying each other underneath the sand. You consider yourself young and a child at heart.
“Do you mind taking a picture of me when you’re done?” Mingyu asks while you’re burying him under the sand. You’re shoveling sand with your bare hands and placing it on him.
You’re not quite sure how the both of you reached this point. It was just a couple of hours ago that you had both crossed paths. You barely know much about each other besides the fact that you both enjoy morning jogs and yet here you are. He’s shirtless. He has rock hard abs. You’re getting sand stuck underneath your nails. You can start to feel a wedge with your one-piece swimsuit. You’re burying him underneath the sand. You’re both awfully close for two people who have just met and don’t know much about each other.
But you both continue whatever the heck you are doing.
“Yeah, sure.” You mumble, getting up to grab his Kodak film camera that’s lazily sprawled on his beach towel. Mid-grab, you hear faint giggles from afar. Huffing a strand of hair away from your face and looking out into the ocean, you watch Jaehyun and Jiho chase each other along the shoreline. At a certain point, Jaehyun finally catches her and throws her over his shoulder. He leads the both of them farther out into the water and she slaps his back.
He used to do that with you.
You used to do that with him.
Used to—
“You like him, don’t you?”
You snap out of it. Glancing at Mingyu, you can’t quite tell if he’s looking directly at you because he has his sunglasses on. As if he’s reading your mind, he takes them off. Indeed, he’s looking at you.
You shake your head, denying your true feelings for him. “Don’t like him. Just a friend.”
“Don’t like him because you genuinely don’t have romantic feelings for him? Or don’t like him because he’s off the market?”
You fall silent. The cat’s got your tongue.
He takes your silence as a crystal clear answer that it is the latter; you don’t like Jaehyun because he’s off the market. It’s almost as if he’s seen right through you. Are you that easy to read? 
“He may be off the market but,” he purses his lips into a tight line before they form into a cheeky grin, “I don’t think he likes her.”
You furrow your eyebrows with confusion. “Huh—”
You cut yourself short when you notice Mingyu’s glance slightly shifts to the right and past your shoulder. Slowly following his gaze, your eyes meet Jaehyun’s. There’s something truly different about the way he looks at you. At times, you feel like you’re the only one in the world. Other times, you feel like your entire world is being torn down. But this time around… you can’t quite pinpoint it. Jaehyun quickly looks away, distracting himself by splashing water at his girlfriend. 
“Do you still think he likes her now?”
You blink. After much thought, you nod. “He must like her enough to make her his girlfriend.”
Mingyu shrugs his shoulders. “I guess you have a point.” But the moment you turn your back towards Jaehyun, Mingyu watches Jiho angrily shove Jaehyun for splashing too much water on her face that’s making all her makeup smudge. 
Jaehyun must be in love with her. He must like her more than enough to make her his girlfriend. He must’ve not liked you more than he likes her to make you more than just a 3-month fling. She must be special to him.
Self-sabotage. Insecurities.
What is it that she has that you don’t? 
Does Jaehyun not feel the same way that you feel for him?
What you both had every summer was something to look forward to every year, something special.
But now that things are slowly connecting dots in your head, you’re beginning to realize that maybe…
Maybe it was all just in your head. Maybe you’re not as special as you thought you were to Jaehyun.
Maybe you truly are someone temporary to him.
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The walk back to the cottage feels sombre. Walking a few footsteps ahead of you are Jaehyun and Jiho, hands and fingers intertwined with each other. You’re holding a sigh. Casting over you is the beautiful pink sky, the sun beginning to set. You and Mingyu walk next to each other in silence. Somehow, the silence is comforting.
“Thanks to you, I have sand underneath all of my nails.”
“Thanks to you and not waking me up from my nap, my entire face is sunburnt except for my body that you buried underneath the sand.”
You look up at Mingyu. He’s grinning at you. You smile. It’s enough to make you smile. “My pleasure.”
Passing by a poster that’s stapled to a wooden post, Mingyu stops in his tracks. It takes you a couple of footsteps away to realize that he’s not walking beside you anymore. Looking at him over your shoulder, your eyes trail towards the poster. 
The annual end-of-summer festival. Although summer has just begun, it means that preparations for the end-of-summer festival also begin. It’s the festival you have a love-hate relationship with. It’s where you and Jaehyun go for a date every summer. It’s something worth looking forward to because you and Jaehyun make a lot of lasting memories together. But it’s also where you and Jaehyun break up. It’s the last night where you and Jaehyun are in a relationship. Once the festival closes down, when the food trucks drive back to the city, when the roller coasters and Ferris Wheels shut down for the rest of the year, it means that your three-month relationship with Jaehyun also comes to an end.
“A festival,” Mingyu muses, “looks fun. Have you been?”
You nod, “every summer.”
“Are you going this year?” He questions.
You’re not sure if you’re able to go to a place that holds so many memories. Everything would remind you of when you and Jaehyun were together. It would remind you of the funnel cakes you and Jaehyun used to share, the stuffed toys Jaehyun would win just for you, the couple We Bare Bears headbands you would both wear, and even the firework show you would both watch together in each other’s arms.
“Probably not.” 
“Why not?” He frowns. “If my date isn’t coming then I’m not going.”
Letting out a snort, you fold your arms, “I find it quite funny how I’ve become your involuntary date for the festival. You could’ve simply just said you wanted me to accompany you or, I don’t know, ask.”
“Well, would you like to be my involuntary date to the festival?”
“I—” Jaehyun, who has been overhearing the conversation the entire time, halts to a stop. His girlfriend stops and looks at him questioningly, but Jaehyun’s too busy waiting to hear your answer. “I don’t have much of a choice as an involuntary date, now do I?”
Mingyu shakes his head and it’s enough for the both of you to burst out into laughter. 
“No, you don’t have much of a choice. I’m not sure why I still asked.”
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The first time you’re alone in the same room with Jiho is when you’re dropping off some peaches your mother bought at the market. She’s the one that answers the door and lets you into the cottage. Jaehyun’s still sleeping in his room and she had just woken up from her slumber to make herself a cup of morning coffee. As you’re placing the bag of peaches onto the kitchen countertop, you hear her clear her throat. Glancing at her, you find her already looking at you.
“Jaehyun told me everything about you.”
It’s enough to send chills up and down your spine. It’s enough to give you goosebumps. You gulp nervously, quirking an eyebrow, “is that so?”
“From being best friends to growing up together.” She twirls her teaspoon in her cup of coffee and takes the first sip. She scrunches her nose and reaches for the jar of sugar to add a teaspoon of it. “You know, seeing how close the both of you are, it made me wonder if any of you had eventually developed feelings for the other.”
She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know that you know how Jaehyun’s arms feel wrapped around your waist. She doesn’t know that you know how Jaehyun’s plump lips feel whenever you kiss them. She doesn’t know that you have a past with Jaeyun. She doesn’t know about your three-month fling with him that renews every summer. 
You let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, no. I only see Jaehyun as a friend, there’s nothing to worry about.”
She sets her cup of coffee down onto the countertop, “I mean, you don’t need to lie. I know you like my boyfriend.”
Your eyebrows knit together with confusion. “I—”
“But I’m not worried about you having feelings for my boyfriend. I trust Jaehyun and we’ve built such a solid relationship for nearly a year.” She cuts you off. 
Is she… reminding you of her own territory? Is she trying to put you in your place? With the way she’s smiling at you, you’re not sure if she sees you as a threat or if she genuinely believes that you would never have a chance with Jaehyun. Jokes on her though because you’ve dated her boyfriend for three months for the past five years.
You’ve been in her place.
You know exactly what it feels like.
“There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t have feelings for Jaehyun. He’s just a best friend to me.” You reassure her for the second time, before folding your arms. “Unless… you are worried.”
She eyes you up and down and it’s enough for you to make up your mind. Jiho sees you as competition. She does see you as a threat. She’s just covering it up by pushing you down. She’s just covering it up by making you feel miserable, as if you’re unworthy.
“I’m not a single bit worried. I think that the one who’s worried here is you… because Jaehyun became mine before you even had the chance to tell him.” She raises an eyebrow, a shit-eating grin on her lips.
“Chance to tell him what?”
“That you’re in love with—”
“I see you’re both finally bonding.” Jaehyun’s sudden presence in the kitchen brings your intense conversation with Jiho to an end. You gather yourself together, turning around to face him. He had just woken up from his sleep, walking into the kitchen in nothing but bed-head and loose clothing. “It’s nice to see the both of you getting along.”
Jiho walks over and pecks his cheek. Good morning kisses. You used to do that. “We’re getting along so well! Right, Y/N?”
All of the attention is redirected to you. You fake a smile.
“Right. It’s predetermined to be best friends with my best friend’s girlfriend, right?”
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As you’re throwing out the trash and the recyclables, you pick up a poster of the summer festival that fell off the wooden post. Staring down at the poster, you let out a sad sigh. You’ve experienced a lot of firsts, especially with Jaehyun. First kiss, first hug, first date, first love. But this ‘first’ is different this time around, this is the first and last breakup you’ve ever experienced with the same person. 
“Are you going?”
Folding up the poster and placing it into your pocket, you turn around to see Jaehyun who’s sitting on the curb. The sun is beginning to set and all the kids are going back home after spending the entire day at the park and beach. You shove your hands into the pockets of your shorts, nodding your head in reply.
“Are you?” You ask. He nods. “I think Jiho would love to go. You should take her.”
He’s standing up from the ground, dusting the back of his jeans as he waves you over. Curious, you walk over towards him. “Let’s go and get some ice cream. I’m craving ice cream.”
“I think I’ll pass,” you mumble. 
He grabs your hand. Your heart skips a beat. You feel butterflies in your stomach. “And I think taking no for an answer is something I should do more often. Let’s go.”
You’re too distracted by how Jaehyun instantly makes you feel that you don’t object. You simply follow his lead. The both of you are walking next to each other, shoulders brushing, hands lightly grazing. You take the familiar path to the ice cream parlour in silence. There are so many questions you want to ask him, but you don’t even know where to start and whether you have the courage or not to ask. 
Closure. That’s what’s missing. You feel like you’ve been left behind. You feel like you need an explanation because he owes you one. But you’re terrified of learning the truth. You’re terrified of what to expect.
“How have you been?” You both ask each other in unison before laughing.
How have you been? You’ve been perfectly fine. You’re graduating from university in a couple months and you’ve already secured a full-time job doing what you love. You’re still going to live with your parents, but within a year, you’ll be able to move out into an apartment all to yourself. But… how have you really been? You’re not quite sure. You feel like there’s something missing even though your life seems like it’s going in the right direction. A missing puzzle piece to your quarter life crisis.
“I’ve been doing well. I’m starting my new job after I graduate,” you decide to answer the question first and nudge him for his answer after, “how about you?”
“Well. Things feel a bit too perfect for me lately. I feel like I’m missing something.” He mumbles, unpacking all of his thoughts that who knows how long has been racing his mind. “You know that feeling where your entire life is going the way it’s supposed to be and you feel like you don’t deserve it? Like it all just feels a bit—”
“Too good to be true?”
He snaps his fingers. “You know me so well.”
You let out a soft chuckle. “That’s because I feel the exact same way.”
Arriving at the ice cream parlour, you find yourselves overanalyzing the menu. Mark, the seasonal worker who stays in town for the summer to help out his grandmother, greets you. The menu has many flavours to choose from. You could have a different flavour everyday for the entire summer and you would have eventually tried the entire menu.
“I’ll have the usual.” You insist, looking up at Jaehyun who seems as if he’s already made up his mind. “You?”
“The usual. Pistachio.” He smiles like a little kid waiting to open his presents on Christmas Day. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had pistachio ice cream.”
Mark begins punching in your orders while you’re both looking for coins and bills to pay in your wallets. As you’re pulling out your coins, Jaehyun places his hand over yours and pays for your ice cream. You glare at him and he shrugs his shoulders.
Mark chuckles. “How have you both been? Still going strong? I bet long distance relationships must be hard to maintain.”
An awkward silence fills the air. Mark doesn’t seem to notice the tension because he’s too busy scooping ice cream from the large tubs. You fiddle with your fingers nervously and Jaehyun clears his throat. 
Letting out a sheepish laugh, you shake your head, “we broke up.”
“Dude, are you serious?” Mark looks at the two of you with his eyebrows raised. “Damn. I guess couple’s therapy just didn’t help at all, huh?”
You purse your lips into a tight line. “It’s complic—”
“It’s complicated.” Jaehyun cuts you off.
The two words are enough to stop Mark from saying any more. You can hear and feel your heart break and shatter. Last summer, you and Jaehyun came to the ice cream parlour for your first date since you both last saw each other. But this summer, you and Jaehyun arrive at the ice cream parlour as exes.
As you both step out of the parlour with two scoops of ice cream on a cone, you walk back home in silence. But this time, it’s not the same comforting silence. As you have some of your ice cream, you ponder on whether you should—
“Does Jiho know about me?” You’ve made up your mind. You no longer want to feel hesitant. You no longer want to search for closure on your own. You no longer want it to be one-sided.
Jaehyun almost stops in his tracks. He’s quite taken aback by your sudden question. “Know about what?”
“That—” You stop yourself. “The contract. Does she know about that? Does she know that we’ve dated? Does she know that I’m your ex—”
“No.” He chuckles. Why is he laughing? “Of course not.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Why not? Don’t you think she deserves to know?”
“She doesn’t need to know—”
“I think she does—”
“Y/N, if you really think about it, we made up that dating contract when we had just graduated from high school. We were still naive, young, and dumb. Contract or not, whatever we both had was just a three month—”
“A three month fling,” you whisper. “An annual three month fling.”
Jaehyun studies your face as your expression turns from sincere to confused, and from confused to sour. At that very moment, he knew that the words that had come out of his mouth were wrong and that it’s too late to take them back.
“Y/N—”
“Thanks for the ice cream, Jaehyun,” you muster a smile that barely reaches your ears. Gesturing towards your cottage, you say, “it’s getting quite late and I’m a bit sleepy.”
“Are you… mad?” He asks nervously.
Your smile falters. 
“No. I’ll never be mad at you. I’m just… a little disappointed.”
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“Y/N, if you really think about it, we made up that dating contract when we had just graduated from high school. We were still naive, young, and dumb. Contract or not, whatever we both had was just a three month—”
“Fling.” You find yourself blurting out once again after Jaehyun’s words echo in your head. 
You find yourself staring up at the ceiling of your room, lost in your own thoughts. What did Jaehyun mean when he said that you were both naive, young, and dumb to have made a stupid dating contract? Did those summers even mean something to him? Did you even mean something to him?
Slowly sitting up from your bed, you slap your cheeks to wake yourself up. Suddenly, you hear someone calling out your name from outside. Taking a look out of your window, you see Mingyu balancing on the curb, waving you over when he finally sees you through the glass. You roll your eyes, shaking your head with a smile on your face. Heading downstairs, you slip on mismatched flip-flops and your father’s sweater before walking out to meet Mingyu.
“And what are you doing here in front of my house at midnight?” You question with your arms folded.
He holds up a plastic bag with cans of beer. “To stargaze. To drink beer. It seems quite fitting, don’t you think?”
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“No. I’ll never be mad at you. I’m just… a little disappointed.”
Jaehyun sighs frustratingly, running a hand through his hair. What did you even mean by that? What does that even translate to? Why is he overthinking and overanalyzing your words? Why is it frustrating him? 
He distracts himself by listening to some music until he hears laughter outside of his window. Trudging towards his window, the laughter gets louder and louder. Cracking the window open a tad bit, he spots two familiar figures sitting outside on the curb of the streets. He spots you and Mingyu sitting next to each other, clinking beer cans and drinking together. You’re pointing up at the sky, most likely at some random stars while Mingyu is leaning in to tell you something. You gasp before playfully punching him in the arm. The two of you share another good laugh.
Jaehyun frowns. This feels familiar.
Almost like you used to do that together.
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“Cheers to our final year of high school!”
“Cheers!”
It’s the summer of 2020 and you and Jaehyun are sitting outside all huddled up in the slightly chilly night. Jaehyun had made a trip to the convenience store a couple of blocks down to buy a couple cans of beer. The both of you had planned to have a drunk stargazing night. You’re not sure how it came about, but there you were.
“This is going to sound really cheesy but I would definitely buy and name a star after you for your birthday.” 
“Don’t be so reckless with your money, Y/N—”
“No, but imagine!” You exclaim. “Imagine looking up at the sky and thinking, ‘wow, one of those stars is named after me’. Wouldn’t that be cool?”
He chuckles, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. “I guess it would be cool.”
“This is your turn to tell me that you would do the same thing.” You say with squinted eyes.
“And spend two hundred bucks just to name a star after you? No way.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I’d rather use it to buy my textbooks for college.”
“Yuck, don’t remind me about college.” 
Jaehyun had plans of studying abroad in a country across the entire globe. Switzerland. You had plans of settling for the same program as Jaehyun, but closer to home. Seoul. The both of you share a bond through architecture. When the two of you were little, you would draw sketches and outlines of treehouses that you would both build when you were finally ‘grown ups’. 
“Have you thought about joining me?”
You quirk an eyebrow. “Sorry?”
“Have you thought about studying in Switzerland with me?” Jaehyun repeats, picking up a stray rock and pinching it with his two fingers. 
“I hate being away from home,” you purse your lips into a tight line. “I get homesick really fast.”
“But at least you’ll have me,” he shrugs his shoulders. “Your boyfriend.”
You snort. “Jaehyun, we’re driving back to the city tomorrow morning. We’re breaking up tonight.”
He sighs. “Three months go by quickly, huh?”
“Faster than the blink of an eye. Unless…” You trail off and he glances at you. 
“Unless what?”
“Unless we don’t break up,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up.
You gain the courage to look back at him. It’s the biggest mistake. He has a longing gaze focused on you. His eyes are searching through yours. His face is slowly leaning in, closing the gap inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre. It is when you feel his hot breath fanning your cheeks that his eyes trail down to your parted lips. Before you even realize it, his lips crash against yours and he’s cupping your cheeks with his large hands. 
You pull away before things get intense. Staring at each other, you both let out an airy laugh.
“Nevermind, let’s break up.”
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neo-shitty · a month ago
Text
lurk — j.jh
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prompt. “last thing that we should do is go slow.” — lurk, the neighbourhood
pairings. jung jaehyun x female reader
genre. smut, pwp, fwb!au (minors please do not interact)
warnings. *clears throat* jealous soft dom!jaehyun x brat-ish reader, making out, dirty talk, breast/nipple play, fingering, hair-pulling, public sex, clothed sex, praise kink, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, the world is overpopulated), aftercare :)
word count. 4.3k
notes. the amount of feedback the teaser for this received really knocked the wind out of my lungs. thank you! 
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Often you wondered how you were never worried that the decisions you made landed you in more bad situations than good ones. You had an addiction to the thrills in life; an irresistible urge to dance with danger and when it came waltzing into your life in the form of Jung Jaehyun, you knew you didn’t have it in you to say no.
What little control you had over your impulses was snagged away from your loose crutch. Suddenly, you were controllable, in the vaguest sense possible. Jaehyun knew which strings to pull to trigger you, merely preying on your tunnel-vision for risk to have you do things in his bidding.
The change was unnoticeable and when the realization hit, you were already in too deep and it was far too late. Your false sense of control was forged upon a series of traps laid out by him, revolving around an external central point. You knew just as much as he did that you were wrapped around his finger — a lot more than you wanted to admit.  
Maybe your lack of resistance for the boy would lead to your inevitable demise someday, and maybe that day was closer than you thought. A million maybes crossed your mind when you brushed paths with him, about enough to make you wonder if there was ever any certainty whenever it came to Jaehyun.
It was how the escapades started; luring you in with the idea of being caught red-handed and you taking the bait every single time. Today wasn’t any different than the other times.
There was no better way to satiate your thirst than having it tied with risk and Jaehyun knew that better than anyone else. The deal you struck together was built on mutual desire and equal benefit, easy. Except he always chose the worst possible times.
Today, you were seated with your friends by the bleachers one second, cheering on your schoolmates as they played the field against the students from Busan, and in the next you weren’t. You had an iron grip on your arm, whisking you away from your place on the stands back into the direction of the main building. The hallways of the Institute were empty as they always were when you crossed them with Jaehyun, but they were more quiet today. Everyone was at the field, witnessing the game that would culminate this year’s Goodwill games between the two sister schools. 
“We’re missing the games, Jaehyun.”
Your voice echoed as you both slipped into the familiar enclosure of the third floor comfort room, shutting the heavy wooden door behind you. The school never bothered renovating much; so long as things were functional there was no need to have them replaced. The tiled walls screamed age, the marble surface lacking the luster it once had years ago. The mirror was littered with rust stains that looked like blood stains if you didn’t know better, irremovable, annoying. Stupid stingy admins, you thought, always spending money on the wrong things. It made you think of the many generations of sorcerers that graced the very same halls you perused now. And you wondered just how much filth these walls have been witness to since then.
It was quiet here, two floors up and away from all the festivities. You could hear someone commentating the game through the speakers but their voice was faint, blocked by the layers of walls between the open field. 
Jaehyun guides you into an empty stall, following you in after he’d made sure that no one else was around. He slips the lock shut behind him and only then does he pay attention to you. 
You caught him off guard. A quick levelled shove sent him backward, stumbling until his back hit the stall door with a heavy thud. The hinges creaked under his weight but the lock engaged and the door remained shut; the only one of all 8 stalls that didn’t swing open under pressure. You both learned that the hard way.
“What happened to staying quiet?” Jaehyun asked, staring down at you. Even with him pinned to the door, he was oozing with dominance and towering a few inches above you. When you looked up, you wanted nothing more than to wipe the stupid smirk off his face. 
But inside the stall, you were nothing but prey playing predator only because the latter let you. He was only cornered because he allowed it — because he was amused by it. You could see it in the glint behind his eyes. It wouldn’t take much for him to turn the tables around and you knew it.
Jaehyun was patient most of the time, but never during times like this. He leans down, capturing your lips before you could say anything — needy, hungry. It made the pit of your stomach come to life, a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering about and tickling your insides. 
His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as you hooked your arms behind his neck. He pressed down on you harder in an attempt to deepen the kiss and you swear you taste your own blood on your tongue, chapped lips torn by the intensity.
You broke away to catch your breath. “You couldn’t have picked a better time to drag me here.” 
“Why?” Jaehyun cocked an eyebrow. “Did I interrupt you and your perfect little friends?”
The change in his tone goes unnoticed, clouded by your eagerness to feel his lips on yours again. You catch a quiff of the muskiness of his cologne, inhaling the mix of mint and smoke embedded on his skin. Jaehyun was intoxicating, the very embodiment of everything you were warned to stay away from. But you were never one to abide by their rules anyway. If they ever wanted you to steer clear of the boy, they should’ve told you to stay close to him instead and you’d probably end up doing the opposite just to spite them. 
The administration folk were old, close to dying at best, but to see they were wiser just because of age would be an overstatement. Their judgments have never modified with the twisting tides of time. The tactics to sneak around them and their laws have existed for generations, either they were oblivious or being ignorant. But it was loopholes in the system that allowed for moments like these. If you were caught red-handed, what rules could they punish you from?
Then you remembered. The thought came crashing into your mind, enough to knock you out of your daze. You pushed yourself away from Jaehyun, gasping. “The cameras outside. They’d see us coming in.”
Jaehyun held your gaze but didn’t mirror your worry. “You’re worried about that? How cute. What happened to my fearless little girl?” A deep warm chuckle escaped his lips before he pressed a light kiss on your nose. He ran a hand down your spine, resting on the small of your back as he gently pulled you closer to him while the other trailed down your frame, tugging on the pleats of your skirt. 
You felt his breath fan your ear.  “Know someone else who’ll be coming today?”
He watched your pupil dilate when he gripped your ass, massaging it until you were pressed flush against him. Your eyes went frantic for a moment, staring everywhere else just to avoid the heaviness of his gaze. His fingers traced circles on your skin, spreading tingles rippling across your skin as he moved to your thigh. 
Your thighs close on impulse, but Jaehyun had his leg slotted between — keeping yours apart for his hand to explore. He pressed his palm against your clothed heat, the moment of contact eliciting a pathetic whimper from you. There was little to no pressure in his touch; he was merely running his hand over the fabric, ignoring the stain and the throbbing that ensued beneath.
“Jaehyun,” you breathed, arousal pooling with every brush of his finger. 
“What’s with you denying me in front of your friends? Does getting involved with me ruin your reputation so much?” His voice was serious, pulling you out of your stall-sized utopia. 
You gave him a glance as you shook your head, “No, it’s just—”
“Just what?” He asked and your mind reeled to come up with a coherent answer. “You think that blonde’s better than I am?”
His words hung in the air, allowing you a moment to piece one detail with another. You remembered your proximity with Johnny earlier, the stubborn blonde who loved orbiting around you — mainly to brag about his riches you didn’t give a fuck about. There was nothing going on between you and him. Not in your eyes, anyway. 
Jaehyun was stoic, narrow eyes fixated as you came up with an answer. Jealousy, you wanted to assume. But when had he ever thought of you beyond a play thing he could use when he felt like it. As far as you knew, you were free for all. 
Your fear receded, replaced with an urge to spite him.
“What if he is?” you replied, a smirk tugging at your lips as you looked up to him.
If Jaehyun was hurt by it, he didn’t show it. He retracted his hand, the sudden loss of contact leaving you yearning for more. “Why don’t you go tell Johnny to get the job done?”
It took you a moment to recover when he pushed you off him. You stumble backward, the back of your legs hitting the edge of the toilet. 
“Relax, I was kidding.” You said teasingly, grabbing hold of his arm before he could reach for the door’s latch. 
He swatted your hand away with ease. “Sure you were.”
You sighed, exasperated. “Jaehyun.”
But you were cut off when his hand cupped your mouth, muffling your voice. You staggered backwards, your back hitting the tiled wall of the bathroom stall. You thank the school for making their stall separators cemented walls instead of the regular ones you saw in public establishments. You were small in comparison to Jaehyun; your position put you in place. His eyes were elsewhere, staring at the top of the cubicle as if something was going to jump out any moment now.
Then you heard the voices. They weren’t coming from inside the women's comfort room but from the other side of the wall — from the men’s comfort room. You sighed, in relief this time, but Jaehyun kept his hand over your mouth. If their voices could be heard from here, then they could very much hear you from there if you spoke loud enough. Even with the knowledge of them being further away than you expected, you could still hear your heart pounding in your ear. It was the thrill you always came for, the excitement riling you up further than you already were. 
The boys didn’t take long, their voices eventually fading into the distance as they left. 
You grabbed Jaehyun’s arm, lifting his hand off your face and snagging his attention back in the process. You took hold of his hand, guiding it to your chest — giving your own breast a squeeze through his palm. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re 10 times hotter when you’re jealous?”
Jaehyun stared at you for a moment, scoffing when the realization kicked in. He fell right into the trap you put up. “Was that your goal all along?” He asked, but he never gave you the opportunity to reply.
His lips crashed into yours, relentless in his assault. His hands weaved through the buttons of your uniform, undoing them as he went, until he had access to the skin beneath. The contact made your whole body heat up, your folds drenched and your underwear moist. 
He took the moment to grope your breast, kneading it in his hand before pinching your nipple between two fingers. You squirmed, the sensitivity sending a jolt through your system, and it sent you moaning into the kiss. He slipped his tongue into your opened mouth, lapping against your own tongue as he explored every crevice of your tongue. He left your top unbuttoned, flaps of your uniform open to give him a view to die for.
Jaehyun left your lips to trail kisses down your jaw, nibbling and sucking on the places he’d been, until he settled on your neck. His hands trailed their way down again, hiking up your skirt as they did earlier. He slipped a hand between your thighs, rubbing you through the thin fabric. Your arousal leaks, minutes of pent up teasing becoming too hard to bear.
He pulled your underwear aside, a string of your arousal clinging to the inner cloth. Putting some distance between the both of you, he pulled away from your neck. You were too lost to notice — or if you did, you chose not to show it. Your jaw goes slack and you breathed out a moan as his fingers swiped your folds, brushing the sensitive bundle of nerves as he went. He could feel you quivering, legs shaking as he rubbed slow circles against it.
“You like seeing me jealous this much?” Jaehyun teased, but you were too lost in pleasure to utter a coherent answer so you settled for a nod. “Is that so?”
He pushed a finger in, the sting of the intrusion making you wince. Your walls sucked it in, tight as you always had been, until his finger was buried to the hilt. He slowly pulled it back, dragging along your walls and sending jolts pulsating through your system. Your mouth hung open, eyes shut, breathing sporadic. He slotted another finger in, planting kisses on your forehead as he scissored them inside you. 
Your breathing hitched as he stretched you out but the pain was overcome with pleasure. Every time he buried his fingers in, you urged him to go deeper. Jaehyun’s habit of slowly pulling out to thrust back in was maddening but you never asked him to stop. He picked up the pace; fingers thrusting faster and soaked with your arousal, the squelching sound bouncing off the walls of the stall.
“Jaehyun, please,” you whispered, catching his eye when he pulled away from peppering you with kisses.
Through the blur of your eyesight, you thought he was nodding. 
Jaehyun smiled, you could make out that much. “Look at you begging like you deserve it.” His words made your face burn with embarrassment. You felt more pathetic than you looked. “Do you deserve it?”
You didn’t answer, but your lips were parted solely to level your breathing. 
“Words, baby,” Jaehyun demanded, slowly pulling his fingers out of you..
You reached up to grab his arm, grip tightening as rubbed circles on your nerves. “No,” you croaked, “No, I don’t but—”
“But what?”
When your eyes fluttered open, he was staring down at you — eyes clouded with lust beneath his hooded eyelids. “Please,” you pleaded. “I need you.”
It was almost impossible for him to resist smiling. No matter how many times he witnessed you in a state that was seemingly exclusive to him, he never got used to it. You, someone the higher ups feared to be uncontrollable, folding under his influence. 
Jaehyun drew his hand back, the lack of contact once again eliciting a reaction from you. He tilted his head, “Turn around and bend over.”
You followed. He undid his belt, tugging his zipper down along with his boxers. He was riled up alright, he wondered how he’d managed to keep it in for so long; even having it in him to ‘walk away’ when he clearly had a growing problem in his pants. Substance leaked out of the slit, coating the mushroom tip in a crown of white. 
You were already bent over, the pleats of your skirt resting on your back giving him a clear view of your ass and glistening folds. He swiped his fingers through your folds again, tucking your underwear to the side while his other hand stroked his shaft. 
He brushed you with his tip, dipping into your hole only to pull back out coat himself with the arousal between your folds.
“For the love of God, can you get on wi—”
You never got to finish your sentence as he pushed himself in, the rest of your words were lost to a moan. A groan rumbled up his throat, the tightness familiar but still overwhelming. You fell quiet as he buried himself in, mouth hanging open and breathless.
“You were saying?” Jaehyun asked between breaths. You didn’t answer, too busy adjusting to his girth. 
Your heartbeat hammered in your ear, pounding long before Jaehyun did. The intrusion wasn’t new, but it still took you a while to get used to the stretch. Jaehyun slowly pushed himself in, the entirety of his shaft splitting you in half. He thrusted, surging you forward as he buried himself as deep as he could. It knocked the air out of your lungs, you could feel the lightheadedness settling in.
Then he pulled out without warning, slowly as he always did. Your walls tightened with his retreat, only to be torn back open when he thrusted back in. He dragged it out just as long as he did with his fingers, easing you onto his cock before kicking it up a notch. His hands were on your waist, massaging your sides to comfort you but also using it as leverage when thrusting back into you. 
The thrusts racked through your system but it did nothing to bring you closer to your release — it still felt far away, still out of reach. And you were getting impatient.
“Any plans to go faster?” you asked and it sounded hilarious coming from someone who was already breathless.
“Not really,” Jaehyun answered and you looked back at him, glaring.
But before you could rebut with a snarky response, he thrusted back into you, knocking your own breath out of you. He started picking up the pace, making you hiss as he brushed against your walls. Teeth gritted, nearly breathless — the lack of oxygen in your system was only adding up to the build up. Finally, you could feel your release drawing closer with every thrust, with every bead of sweat that trickled down the side of your face. 
Jaehyun's fingers tangled into your hair, tugging your head and arching your back in an angle that allowed him to reach new depths.
“Fuck, Jaehyun,” you said through gritted teeth.
You were too lost in your chase for your orgasm that you were late to hear the footsteps echoing down the hall leading to the comfort room. The hard wooden door swung open, creaking loud enough to snap you out of your haze. You stilled, frozen until Jaehyun pulled you up. 
You stood in silence, back pressed against Jaehyun’s chest, as the sound of footsteps reverberated across the room. You could feel him throbbing inside you, in sync with the pulsing of your heartbeat. His hand clasped over your mouth again as other voices spoke over each other outside the walls. You could only pray they didn’t hear anything before they came in. Upon eavesdropping on their conversation, they didn’t seem to be bothered by anything. They went on and talked about the results of the quarters, giggling and laughing as they paced, oblivious of what had been ensuing before they came.
Behind you, Jaehyun shifted, pulling out before slowly thrusting back in. You turned your head, looking him dead in the eye — only to stare back into eyes that showed no fear, clouded by lust and glinting with the risk that came with it. Your breath hitched with every push, a tear occasionally dripping down your face as you bit back the urge to moan out loud. You clung onto the arm that kept you quiet; one hand digging nails into his flesh as he thrusted, the other resting on top of his hand as if two hands muffling your mouth would stop them from hearing your moans.
A knock on the door made you freeze, even Jaehyun. It was light, barely audible through the volume of your own heartbeat in your ear. The person on the other side tried the door, tugging on the handle but the door remained closed. 
You tugged down on Jaehyun’s hand, glancing at him to trust you. You mustered the most normal voice you could, as normal as someone with a cock buried deep within her could manage anyway.
“Stall’s occupied,” you said, thanking the heavens that your voice didn’t crack nor quiver under pressure.
You heard the other person back away. “Oh shit, sorry! Told you it was occupied. Come on, hold the door closed for me.”
They left you alone after but they didn’t leave as soon as the boys did earlier. Every second they spent there was agonizing for you. Your long dragged out release was making your head woozy, the occasional pulsing from Jaehyun didn’t help your case either. The only sound from the both of you was the heaviness of your own breaths, easily drowned out by the chatter outside the stall. Jaehyun pressed lazy kisses on your face and neck, feeling you tremble against him — eager for him to move faster but terrified of letting a moan out. 
It felt like forever passed before the voices started filling out one by one. You could hear them bidding goodbyes at each other, the room quieting as they left. If you weren’t mistaken, you even heard one shut the door behind them. Finally, silence again. 
Jaehyun loosened his grip on you, leaning forward to press a kiss against your lips. “Good girl,” he cooed. “Where were we?”
He pulled out of you, turning you around so you were facing him — back pressed against the wall again. He parted your legs easily, his own release long drawn out for him to wait any longer. Next thing you knew, he was back inside you and your moans were drowned out by his kisses. He hooked an arm beneath your thigh, raising one of your legs to hit you at a better angle. You clung to him for strength, losing trust on your legs to hold you up. 
Jaehyun kept his lips glued to yours, thrusts coming faster in pursuit of his release. His thumb slips beneath your skirt, simulating your swollen nub. You broke away from him, head leaning against the cold tiled wall as you caught your breath. Black spots began to cloud your vision and your mouth hung open with every moan and breath. Your words don’t come, but you do.
“Go on, baby.” Jaehyun muttered through jagged breaths but you were already on the edge, your releasing rolling through your body with tremendous force. The leg that kept you rooted trembled violently as it washed through your whole system. 
Jaehyun doesn’t relent, fucking you in the same pace until he was on the edge of his own release. His thrusts went sloppy, panting heavily as he pushed himself to the final lap. He emptied his load inside you, smearing your walls with strings of his hot release before mixing with your own. You breathed out of sync, equally breathless and fucked out beyond what you thought was possible. 
He pulled out a few thrusts later, setting your leg back down, and with the emptiness came the sore aftermath of getting fucked senseless; your thighs cramping up and your lower abdomen contracting on nothing. You feel the mix of releases leak out of you, tugged by gravity as it down your inner thigh. 
It doesn’t escape Jaehyun’s eye, it never did. He ran a finger up your thigh, collecting the dripping substance before pushing it back inside you, making you wince — sore from the overstimulation.
“I need to sit down,” you said between breaths. Jaehyun stepped aside and you crawled to the shut toilet, fixing your underwear and your skirt before sitting on top. If you spent a second longer standing up, your legs would’ve given way. You sat in silence, waiting for the sensation to return to your legs and for your ears to stop ringing. 
Jaehyun plucked toilet paper out of the holder embedded into the wall of the stall, wiping his fingers clean before chucking the paper into the bin beside the bowl. He leaned back against the locked door, running a hand through his slightly disheveled hair. When you caught each other’s eye, still breathless, you burst out laughing.
He walked up to you, plucking a few other papers out of the roll. He folded them neatly to form a paper handkerchief, tapping on the beads of sweat prickling your forehead. You snagged it out of his hand, taking it upon yourself to clean yourself up. You felt nasty still, and you couldn’t wait to get back to the dorms and clean yourself.
“I know why I keep coming back to this cramped up space of a stall. It gets better every time,” he said before turning his back on you.
Jaehyun patted his pockets down in search of something, fishing it out moments later when he found it. He scanned the door in search of the tally. The admin never bothered repainting the doors no matter how bad the vandalism got, so you never worried about reinstating the tally. Even if they did repaint it, the depressions on the surface would be easy to trace. Jaehyun fetched the blade, carving another line beside the last one, marking the twelfth time you found yourselves inside the stall satiating each other’s irresistible bodily urges. 
“Think this would be the last time before we graduate?” you asked, reaching up to ask for a hand from Jaehyun. He tugged you up, legs still wobbly but not as bad as earlier.
Jaehyun shrugged, “I don’t know. Do you want it to be?” 
He glanced at you, and the smirk tugging on the corner of your lips was answer enough. You never said no to danger.
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© neo-shitty, 2021
1K notes · View notes
haikuun · 14 days ago
Text
holy fuck | j.jh
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“imagine what your dear father would say if he sees me fucking her precious little daughter?”
SYNOPSIS; being a pastor's daughter was difficult. putting up an innocent and holy figure in front of his members; and discarding the fact that one of his loyalest members, Jung Jaehyun was hot as hell.
PAIRINGS; jung jaehyun x fem!reader
GENRE; smut
INCLUDES; swearing , age gap (12 years) , (tiny) mentions of religion , cock riding , orgasm denial , oral (male receiving) , public sex , dilf!jaehyun , pastor's daughter!reader
WORD COUNT; 4.8k words
AUTHOR'S NOTE; PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !!! this feels like it's straight from pornhub ;—;
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BEING THE PASTOR'S DAUGHTER, YOU'RE FULLY AWARE OF THE MANY PEOPLE YOUR FATHER HAS HELPED; BUT HE CAN NEVER HELP YOU WITH YOUR OBSESSION OVER JUNG JAEHYUN.
You've known Jaehyun throughout your whole life, while your father has known him ever since he was little. At the age of 5, you could vividly remember Jaehyun playing with you or taking care of you when your parents were away feeding the hungry. Playdates with him were persistent—being the only child—his attention was fully on you, and you only.
That until when you reached 7, he stopped coming by. His sudden disappearance didn't affect you a lot but that's the time when your father found out that Jaehyun had impregnated a fellow member of the church, the same age he is. So, at the early age of 19, Jaehyun became a father he never expected to be.
They were a happy little family. Although your father despise them for having sex before marriage, he let's you be around their one-year old daughter.
Fast-forward to 5 years, Jaehyun started showing up to your house again, but this time with his daughter. With you being 12 years old, you could never really understand the subject “divorce”. It was a foreign word to you that was never used in your household. The only thing you knew was that his six year old daughter was gullible.
If you could really pinpoint when this obsession with him blossomed you'd say it was when you were 17. The rain poured and gloommed the city. There was a knock on your door in the middle of the rain that piqued your interest. You opened the door to discover a Jung Jaehyun drenched in God's sweat.
Droplets of water were dripping from his hair. His shirt was soaked and it became see-through. It was hugging his torso so you could easily make out what he could look like topless. He was hot.
You swallowed hard before you could flash a small smile. “Hey, is your father home?” He asked, panting. Speechless, you could only nod and open the door further to let him in.
And that was the day you became obsessed over Jung Jaehyun. And it so happens that that was the day he and his wife were officially divorced.
Now—3 years later, while you're withering away in college; Jaehyun dedicated his time to the church. Helping your father with his missions, he became one of the deacons at church and being your father's right hand overall. You knew your father couldn't let Jaehyun stray away, he likes the kid even if he's flawed. It's the reason why he was praised by many because he could never hold a grudge.
Meanwhile in your college life; you were exposed to newer and badder things that were hidden from you until in high school. Your father wanted you to attend a Christian college, but you refused. You were adamant about a certain university you wanted to attend; not because you liked the curriculum or anything.
You just wanted a taste of freedom. A taste of what's outside the holy life, and damn it, it gave you more than what you begged for.
Your father couldn't resist you, so he let you attend the university you wanted. Which is probably one of the biggest mistakes he made as a father and maybe as a pastor.
The university was highly exposed to drugs, alcohol, parties that would last till dawn, and of course—sex. All of it was overwhelming for you, but it didn't stop you from trying something new.
You smoked weed, drank a bottle of whiskey, and partied after midnight. You tried everything but sex. Sure you made out with a few guys at your campus, but you were reserving your first time for a certain someone.
And you want that someone to expose you to that blissful pleasure.
Finals were right around the corner and you spent an hour before the test skimming through your textbooks. After the finals, you weren't able to ace it nor flunk it. You did however, maintain your title as the “average student” in the grading department.
You could already imagine the disappointment in your father's face when he sees your grades. From an ace student to an average student, so disappointing. But who gives a shit? College is hard.
Your first semester was over and they finally let you off the hook. A four week break for the holidays was rather long, but since you were already planning everything, it seemed so short. That until your father called. His ID name on your phone caught you off guard. Usually your mother would call instead of him. Without any further questions, you answered. “Hello?”
“Hey sweetie! It's been a while, how are you?” Your dad's voice echoes through your ears.
“I'm doing well,” you said with a tight smile. “Finals are over but don't get your hopes up on my grades.”
A chuckle from your father tickles your ear. Well, someone's in a good mood. “Care to join a week with us? Maybe two? Me and your mother miss you dearly, and besides the holidays are in a few weeks it would be great if you could celebrate with us.”
“I don't see why not,” you shrugged. Two weeks off from your plan isn't too much. “I'll come over tonight.”
“Great! Me and your mother will cook your favorite when you get home.” Without any further exchange, your father hangs up.
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The drive from your campus to your parents' house was rather quick. You didn't know if you were speeding the whole trip or if the music playing as you drove made it shorter. Whatever it was, you didn't expect Jaehyun to open the door for you.
“Hey kiddo,” Jaehyun beams. “Gosh, I haven't seen you in a while. Come here.” Still in a daze that Jaehyun opened the door for you, you suddenly find yourself in his arms. He was warm.
“Sweetie!” As much as you wanted to cling onto him, Jaehyun releases you from his embrace. Irked, you sloppily walk over to your father who has a big smile on his face and hugs you. “I missed you so much, shortcake.”
Unconsciously, the sides of your lips lifts up. Albeit, you were rebellious against him and you despise him for hiding you against the “unholy” world; he was still your father. Your father that loves you dearly.
“Where's mom?” You asked the moment you broke away from his grasp.
“She's at the grocery store, she left an hour ago. I don't know what's taking her so long but there's probably a long line. I'm surprised you're here though, wasn't the trip long?”
“Not at all,” you beam. Sparing a glance at your surroundings, you spot Jaehyun in the kitchen. With a brow raised you whispered, “what's Jaehyun doing here?” It's not like you were complaining—you were actually glad he's here. But then you realize that the longer he'll be here, the bigger your obsession will grow.
“Oh, Jaehyun's a close family friend! I don't see why we can't invite him, it's just a casual family dinner.” Your father answers nonchalantly. “And besides, I'm surprised as you are when he came this early.”
Your father gives you a quick peck on your forehead before he disappears in the kitchen. You proceed to retreat to your room. If you knew any better, you would've brought your lingerie set you had at your dorm; or brought the sexiest pair of clothes you could wear. Seducing Jaehyun with a T-shirt and pants wasn't exactly ideal, but you went with it.
I mean—who knows?
Meanwhile in the kitchen, as your father stirs up the saucepan, Jaehyun chops up the vegetables for your father's dish. “This is the first time you've seen her in two or three years, right?” Your father asks, gaze focused on the pan.
Jaehyun pursed his lips into a small smile. “Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long. She grew a lot—she actually has some uncanny features with Mrs. Yoon.”
“Of course she has, she's her daughter.” The two broke into a light chuckle. “Do you want to spend the holidays with us? It'll be your first time without your family; so that you won't be alone, you should join ours. You're like family to us anyway.”
Jaehyun looks over to your father with a faint smile. Your father still has his eyes locked on the pan so Jaehyun focuses back on his task and says, “I'd love to.”
When your father noticed that Jaehyun was done chopping up the vegetables, he urged him to go to the living room and catch up with you or relax—he was a guest after all.
The moment Jaehyun enters the living room, he was surprised to see you already at the couch typing something away on your phone. You on the other hand were frozen. You had no idea what to say or what to do. You looked over him from your phone and didn't expect to make eye contact.
To make things less weird and make it seem like you weren't drooling over him, you greet him casually with a small smile. “Hello, Mr. Jung.” Well that wasn't casual.
Jaehyun returns the smile and gives you a quick nod to acknowledge your greeting. Jaehyun snags the left edge of the couch while you sit still and tensed on the right.
You had no idea how to talk to him.
You realize now that the conversations you two had were very small. He'd toss a few questions and you'd answer politely then that's it—moving onto the next person. Now that you two are alone and there's no “next person”, you find yourself in a rather awkward position. And the fact that you're obsessed with him didn't make things easier.
While you were boggling your mind with what to do, Jaehyun didn't mind the silence. The two of you were never close to begin with, and trying to make conversation for the sake of it seemed a little desperate in his book. He wanted to keep things casual, just like he used to.
“So, how are you kiddo?” Jaehyun turns to you and you immediately sit up at the mention of your pet name he gave to you. You didn't like the pet name. You used to be fine with it, but now you hate it because it's giving you signs that he only sees you as a kid.
A kid who he used to care for, the kid who plays with his daughter, and the daughter of the pastor.
“College is killing me I guess,” you tried to mask the awkwardness in your tone. Thankfully Jaehyun didn't really notice it so he simply smiles, nodding to your answer before returning his attention to the TV.
You clutch on your phone, fanning away the tenseness you feel and fighting the urge to talk back to him. You felt so small and powerless near him, and you hated it. You hate how he affects you this much.
Before Jaehyun could make more small talk, your father's figure popped up by the doorway to check on you two. “I'm just gonna go to the grocery store to pick up your mom. She couldn't get a cab from the traffic so she asked me to pick her up.” Your father announces as he shakes the phone in his hand to indicate your mother was on the phone.
“Do you want me to come with—” Jaehyun was about to stand up when your father shook his head.
“No, no I can manage. Just keep her company for me will you?” Jaehyun simply nods and complies, sitting back down. “Be a good girl okay sweetie?”
That was your breaking point. Your eyebrow twitched and you accidentally snapped at your father. “Dad, I'm not a kid.” You remind him, pissed off that you have to remind him every time. You're probably more pissed because of the fact that Jaehyun was there.
Your father simply laughed off your remarks. “Okay, okay, I'm leaving!”
“Drive safe alright?” You and Jaehyun bid your father goodbyes. And right after you heard the front door shut, you and Jaehyun dropped your smiles and focused on your own things.
You were still a bit fuming from your father's words but it all disintegrated when you heard Jaehyun chuckle. “I see, you don't like being called ‘little girl’ anymore? I assume you're mad at me for calling you ‘kiddo’.”
“I mean, I'm not a kid. I have every right to be. I'm an adult—a grown woman who smoked weed, drank alcohol—” That wasn't supposed to slip out. Your hand immediately clasp your lips to stop anymore words from spilling out.
You look over to Jaehyun in hopes he didn't hear it but the smirk on his face says otherwise. “That doesn't sound like an adult.” Jaehyun remarks, fixing his gaze towards you. “That sounds like a girl who's making bad decisions.”
“Please don't tell dad!” You implore, unconsciously close to him. You grabbed his arm and looked directly at him with pleading eyes; which took Jaehyun aback. Your mind was blank, the only thing you were focusing on was the thought of your father knowing every sin you did. “I'll prove to you that I'm actually an adult!”
You got your head out of the gutters and actually heard what you said. It sounded like there were underlying tones in it, and you regret formulating that sentence. And Jaehyun seems to notice it.
With a smirk on his face, he leans back in his seat. Eyes still connected with yours. “You got my attention, so what's your intention?”
It all escalated too fast. One thing led to another, and it led you here. Straddling Jaehyun's legs, eyes shut and mouth open. As you kiss him, you are suddenly reminded of your father. How he would resent the both of you for doing such an act.
But you can't stop yourself. As much as you love your father, you love the way Jaehyun was circling his thumbs against your hips. How his tongue explores your mouth so thoroughly. What you two are doing is unorthodox but not a cardinal sin—well it is to your parents.
To make it worse, you already feel wet just by the thought of being caught by your dad. His trusted member and his daughter making out on their couch, now that's something.
Jaehyun breaks the kiss to catch his breath. He looks intently at you as he pants. His silence says a thousand words and the only thing you could do was stare back at him.
This was wrong—so wrong.
This time, you took the initiative to kiss him. You had doubts about doing it; afraid that he won't kiss you back but all of your worries dissolve when he kisses you back. His hand was able to find a way to get under your shirt and he massages your breast.
You let out a stifle moan, conscious of how pathetic you sound. Jaehyun urges you otherwise. “Sing for me—tell me how good I make you feel.” Jaehyun whispers in your ear before he starts nipping your earlobe.
Those words were enough for you to cry out your moans. You produced sounds you didn't even know you could do and sounds that you didn't know if it sounds pleasant or not. Whatever it is, Jaehyun was undoubtedly aroused.
He wasn't stupid, he knew this was wrong. He knew the consequences he would face if your father finds out. But the thrill of it all makes him want to continue with this more.
Speaking of more—you wanted more than a make out session. You wanted more than just touching. So once again, you took the initiative to delve deeper. You started grinding on his clothed crotch, a move he didn't expect you would make.
You were able to pull out a sharp inhale from him and you wanted to hear him more, so you continued. Jaehyun would grip on your breast every time you would press on him too hard, and it led you to press on him a lot harder.
Jaehyun groans when you go to the extremes of grabbing his crotch. Impatient, you start to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. As you start to unbutton his pants, he firmly holds your wrist to momentarily stop you. “Are you sure about this?” Jaehyun asks, looking at you with wary eyes.
“We made it this far, why stop now?” You continue to unbutton his pants and now pull his pants down to his knees.
You stand up to take off your pants and underwear while Jaehyun watches you attentively with heavy eyes. You go back to straddling him, aligning yourself to his member before slowly sinking onto him.
You both let out a moan. The stretch was painful and with how big he was, he was ripping you apart. Jaehyun on the other hand felt amazing. Your pussy engulfing him—clenching around him as you adjust to his size was something he never knew he wanted to feel.
Looks like he has found a new addiction.
His groans follow in suit while you churn out whimpers. The slower you were going, the slower you were going to get over this; but doing it otherwise was painful nonetheless. There was no easy way out of this.
That is until, Jaehyun started pressing his thumb against your clit in circular motions. He was able to fish out moan after another from you and it made you think about the pain less—until you have completely forgotten about it and focused on how his thumb felt against your clit.
When you adjusted, you started to slowly ride his cock. Once you feel more comfortable, you pick up your pace. Moan after moan erupts from your throat while Jaehyun's eyes shut as he feels how great your pussy felt.
You felt his thumb venturing once again to your clit and spinning it around. With you riding him and him destroying your clit, you felt overwhelmed with pleasure. “Imagine what your dear father would say if he sees me fucking her precious little daughter?” Jaehyun whispers, only tipping you over more.
You feel your orgasm building up and you come closer and closer to the edge. And it seems like Jaehyun felt the same. He started rutting into you mercilessly, chasing his own high. “M-Mister Jung, c-can I cum?” You ask promptly.
Jaehyun's hum was something you never realized you needed to hear and actually contributed to pushing you over the edge. His moan dropped an octave as he barely manages to utter, “fuck, that's so hot. Cum for me princess.”
With a few more thrusts, the knot in your stomach unravels and with a high-pitched moan; you came. You coated his dick in your fluids and it was also a breaking point to him.
Before he could have the opportunity to release his seed, you both hear a car pull-up at the driveway. Panicking, Jaehyun pushes you off him and you immediately fumble on the floor for your pants and underwear. Jaehyun felt a sharp pain when you left him. He was so close, but you both were also so close to getting caught. He couldn't risk it.
He tucks his member back in boxers and swiftly puts his pants back on. Contrarily, you hiked up your pants and sat back down at the other end of the couch.
“This—what just happened now, is only physical alright?” Jaehyun snaps his head at you to look at you warningly. “Purely, physical. As long as it is, we can do it again.”
You didn't know how to feel but somehow you felt sad. What did you expect? Tying the knot with him isn't a part of your plan. All you wanted was to fuck him, and now that you did he has nothing for you. No love—no feelings, just a good dick to get over your obsession with him.
But for some reason, you thought ripping your insides for him—even bleeding a little and giving him your virginity would make him think otherwise.
“We're home!” Your father announces as your mother shuts the door behind them. You both stand up on your feet to greet them at the front door; but your legs said otherwise. Your legs almost gave up on you and started trembling, luckily Jaehyun was quick enough to hold you in place.
“You okay?” Jaehyun stares at you worriedly, but you assure him with a nod and detach yourself from him before trudging to the front door.
“Hey, honey!” Your mother beams at you and gives you a tight squeeze. As she hugs you, she greets Jaehyun with a warm smile. “Hi Jae!” Your mother exclaims to which he smiles back and bow.
“How was the drive?” Jaehyun asks, turning to your father as he hangs his coat on the rack.
“Surprisingly fast. After I picked her up, the traffic just—disappeared! As if it's telling me to rush home at once.” Your father laughs while your mother joins him as she pulls you away. You and Jaehyun both smile tightly as he says,
“Hah, well. T-That's something.”
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It's been two days since your little intercourse with Jaehyun. It's been playing in your head vividly as you sleep or whenever you're doing nothing. It just pierces through your mind like it's purposely reminding you of what happened. And today wasn't different.
It was Sunday and during your father's preaching, you find yourself drifting back to said memory. You sometimes wonder when you two could do it again as he did imply you two can. And sometimes you think about why Jaehyun would divorce his wife or vice versa.
Was Jaehyun not good enough? He seems like a nice person, and he is. Or is his wife not good enough? You can never find answers to these questions and you constantly find yourself in a ditch. Why would you even think about it anyway?
Letting out a bothered sigh, you tell your mother—who was situated next to you— that you will pay a visit to the bathroom. She simply nods, attention completely to your father's preaching.
You walk into the hallway with three doors. If you go straight ahead, you will find yourself in the Janitor's closet. And the two doors a few inches away from the first door, lie the bathroom of the men and women's that's right across each other.
You often find yourself in the men's room, the one at the left, due to the lack of signage and because apparently your stupid and forgetful. But this time you went straight to the right door, the women's bathroom. After locking the door behind you, you made a beeline to the sink and opened the faucet.
You cup your hands below the faucet before starting to splash your face with it. This way, you hoped to forget about what happened just for today, and focus on the mass.
You close the faucet and wipe your face with the tissue provided at the side. After discarding it, you heard a knock on the door. Since you were about to leave, you didn't respond and instead opened the door to leave.
However, you were abruptly pushed back in. Before you could protest, you look up and see Jaehyun hovering over your figure as he locks the door behind him.
“Mr. Jung, w-what are you doing here?” You asked meekly.
“Please, drop the formality. We had sex. If you keep that up it's just weird.” Jaehyun fumbles with the clank of his belt and you simply watch. “I'm horny and I'm still bothered by the fact that I didn't cum last time. So let's keep this session quick and quiet. We're in a church bathroom and there might be people outside waiting.”
Jaehyun's pants drop to his knees and you're only left with him and his clothed erection. “Get down on your knees and suck me dry, okay princess?” Jaehyun cups your cheeks and brushes his thumb against. “Oh, and watch out for your teeth.”
You were taken aback with his demand. Not only were you inexperienced in the field of blow jobs, but you were also worried on how to fit him in your mouth. Nevertheless you were eager.
You got down on your knees and palm him through his boxers. Jaehyun threw his head back and sighed. “No time to tease, princess. Get on with it.”
You couldn't help but plant a small smile on your face. Now he's the one squirming under your touch. You pull out his member and start to pump him slowly. You pulled out strings of low moans out of him and you felt proud of how you make him feel like this.
With quick and short movements, you lick his throbbing tip and remove the accumulating precum. His moans filled up the room and before you knew it, he grabbed a ball of your hair. “I told you to stop being a tease.” Jaehyun sighs.
You make an attempt and take him in. Once the tip successfully enters your mouth, you suck on it carefully. Jaehyun's grip on your hair became tighter and his moans started to echo the bathroom more.
Curious, you look up at Jaehyun who was watching your every move. Unknowingly, you looked at him innocently as you sucked him off, and the sight of it can almost make him cum. He whips his head back and tug the bottom of his lip with his teeth. Getting more and more engrossed in the pleasure.
You make another attempt to fit him into your mouth. Midway, you find it more difficult to fit more of him in you. His tip starts to poke at your throat and your eyes start watering. Trying to control it, you push yourself deeper only to find yourself gagging.
A loud moan manages to slip past Jaehyun's lips despite being quiet. “Ah, shit... Do that again.”
In spite of the pain, you do as requested. You take him in again and try to suck off the very base but to no avail. You find yourself gagging once more and this time coughing. You pull him out of your mouth and let yourself breathe.
Jaehyun was a moaning mess during that, but once you pulled out he whined. “Suck me off again please, I think I'm close...” Jaehyun says in a low voice.
You start sucking him once more, but make sure to only take in what you could manage. Sure, he felt great but the pain was unbearable. You felt the precum from his tip drip down and onto your tongue. You tried to swallow it but obviously failed. This sensation sent shivers to his spine and he released another peculiar moan from the other ones he released.
You pick up your pace when you realize how long you two are taking. It seemed suspicious that both of you were out but others would overlook it as they deem it impossible that Jaehyun would fling around with you. But they were wrong.
Who knew you would find yourself in a predicament wherein you're sucking Jaehyun off at the church's bathroom.
Soon after, Jaehyun releases his seed in your throat. You had no option but to swallow it. You let out a few coughs while Jaehyun caresses your head. “You were so good, princess. I'll do you a favor next time.”
After planting a kiss on your head, Jaehyun starts to put on his pants. Simultaneously, you fix yourself in the mirror to look presentable later when you leave. As you fix yourself, you hear a knock on the door.
“Y/N, are you alright?” Panic filled both of your systems and you started formulating a plan to get out of the bathroom without them seeing Jaehyun.
Jaehyun pulls you close to him and whispers, “tell her to go get your mom.”
You nod and comply. “N-No... Not really. Is it alright if you can go fetch my mom?”
“Of course.” You heard loud footsteps then they slowly faded, indicating that the person left.
You peek out the door to see if the coast is clear and once it is, you push Jaehyun out of the bathroom. “Go, go in the men's bathroom!” You exclaim, shoving him into the bathroom across yours that was thankfully unoccupied.
A few minutes later you heard footsteps approach your door. “Honey, are you okay?” You heard your mom's voice on the other side. Before you could reply, you heard Jaehyun's voice followed by a door closing.
“What happened to Y/N?” Jaehyun asks, voice laced with concern as if he wasn't just sucked off bone dry.
You couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle. All of their conversation seems to fade out as you find yourself stuck in your thoughts.
No matter how long you two would do this, no matter how wrong what you two are doing are, you look forward to your next session no matter what. The future of this seems blurry and how it would end up, but you stay optimistic about it.
Again, like the words of Jung Jaehyun, it's purely physical. But how long do you think you can keep it like this?
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