#jaehyun? lmao you wish

[prodbymaui]

Oops, Baby (I Love You)

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

PAIRING: jeong jaehyun x reader

GENRE: modern royalty ; arranged marriage

WORD COUNT: 12.5k+ words

WARNINGS: heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of sleeping pills, food play, oral sex, dirty talks. (the whole fic is romcom slash very fluffy, the only nasty thing here is the smut scene)

SYNOPSIS: you had been living your life as a rebellious and controversial crown princess, now you must face the consequence of purifying your tainted image; marrying the gentle and infamous crown prince of South Korea.

PLAYLIST: Do you hear my heart?

A/N: after weeks of depression episodes what do you call them), I finally got the strength to finish this bad bitch lmao. I know you guys have been waiting so I hope you'll leave your thoughts after? anyways, happy reading!

Everything is spinning and everyone is either two or three. You don't know how much alcohol you've drank but certainly it was enough for you to stumble your way out of the bar, looking for somewhere to puke your guts out.

The intense nausea is already too much for your fucked up body system to accommodate, but the gods and deities thought it's not enough and it'll be perfect if you trip continuously on your Celine Truffle Pointed Heels, possibly damaging it more than you've done to your other shoes. The mask to hide your face is not helping as well.

Someone bumps your side and due to your drunken state, you lose your balance and break one of the heels, sending you to dive to your side. Your eyes shut close as you brace yourself for a painful slam but it never comes. Instead you meet a firm chest hidden underneath a black dress shirt and 2 layers of silver necklaces.

Looking up, through your hazy vision, you see pursed lips and palms up, as if avoiding touching you anywhere. As you step to regain your balance, you trip once again and like a deja vu, the man only lets you use his shoulders and chest to support yourself but never lets his hands touch you.

''You might want to get off of me, Ms…?''

Hearing that voice, a strange sense of familiarity and longing surge to your heart, engulfing it and squeezing it. As if to say, remember it.

''...heart.'' Why is my heart aching?

The man pulls away and observes you, sighing. He clears his throat. ''Sorry, Heart.''

His figure walking away is the last thing you see before your vision blacks out with no guarantee of you being able to recall the events that took place tonight.

Utmost disappointment. Series of distasteful comments. Disapproving reactions. Surely, these aren't the usual feelings of the people towards the soon-to-be-queen of their country but it has been the weekly routine for the people of yours to criticize their sole princess.

''Strip her off the royal titles–! Are these people out of their mind?!'' Your squeal that comes close to a banshee rings across the whole entirety of the bedroom.

''Excuse them, they take after their princess.'' Hiding her giggles behind a fist, Winter scrambles off the bed as you aim to strangle her fragile neck.

Barely dodging your deathly grips by an inch, Winter's yelps bounces off the walls continuously, followed by your irritated shrieks and threatening hands ready to crush your best friend. The chase eventually dies down with the two of you panting, catching your breaths. You pull her short brown locks one last time before jumping on the bed, face down. Winter does the same and lands next to you, arms draping over each other.

A knock disrupts the peaceful atmosphere that engulfs the room, pulling you out of your slumber trance. You knew the pattern of the knock too well. It is practiced by all royal staff to ensure politeness and great manners whenever they are surrounded by royalties and VIPs. Included in training  as per the Queen's request.

The door opens and it reveals a female servant. This one's not yours, judging by the blue brooch. ''Good evening, Your Highness. Ms. Kang wishes to see you in her office right now and orders me to fetch you.''

''And why is that?''

''She said nothing, Ma'am.''

That earns a boisterous laugh from your best friend, alongside a series of claps. ''Goodluck on hearing an hour of scolding, girl.''

Winter sends you a 'fighting' gesture. You give her your middle finger.

The trip to the advisor's office takes a few minutes as the private chambers of the royal members are at the east wing while gatherings, some royal duties, and part where it is open for the public are dealt with at the west side of the palace. You're still not mentally prepared when the wooden entrance makes its way for you. As your eyes meet the pair of the royal advisor, you know you should've prepared yourself much better.

''Good evening, Your Highness. Please do take a seat.''

Albeit it's probably showing on the courtesy of your eyebrows, you still cover your scoff with a cough under your breath. ''Drop the politeness, Eunhye. I don't need it.''

Eunhye removes the newspaper that serves as a hindrance for you to see her expression, and there you spot the disapproving look on her face. You shrug inwardly. What's new? You suppose people in their late 30s are quite uptight. Or it's just your former babysitter.

Kang Eunhye used to play with you a lot during your childhood whenever you and your friends didn't have a playdate. You should've known she was going to take up her late mother's position when Eunhye often disappeared after the death of the former royal advisor. That was when she started changing and became more strict with you.

''You don't need it, you say? Good. Because I don't perceive it as necessary when I tell you Her Majesty had gone haywire by yet another scandal of her sole heir that she asked me to not let you out of the palace if it's not for your studies or royal duties.''

''–what?! That's absurd!''

''Oh I think it's a light punishment for a scandal involving participating in a brawl, breaking the nose of a commoner and almost ending up in jail. Mind you, this happened in front of a controversial bar! And to top it all off, it hasn't been a week since you were caught sleeping in the streets because your drunk ass couldn't help yourself up!''

You scratch your head. ''...well, if the bodyguards came–''

''They would've if you didn't switch clothes with a random woman and make them follow her thinking it was you! Do you know they got suspended and will not receive a portion of their salary because of what YOU did? It's only because of the King that they were spared from getting fired.''

''Not my fault that the guards you hired were fools and easily deceived. They should've recognized my figure even with different clothes.''

''They are bodyguards. Not your devoted fans–,'' Eunhye sighs. ''Your Highness.''

A moment of silence travels along the soundwaves of the room decorated with blue.

''Okay…? What do you want me to do, then? Public appearances? Press conference?''

Eunhye, knowing her ways, will probably advise you to address the issue, apologize for the things that you don't even regret to pacify the netizen. And because they most likely (definitely) won't buy your fake ass apology statement and continue to terrorize you on social media, your schedule will be packed with attending public events to show your 'genuineness'.

You've done this routine more times than the royal court approves so you know what to expect. In fact, you already have a few suggestions ready on which events will possibly dust bits of dirt on your name. You know this like the back of your hand.

The Queen enters. ''No.''

Apparently, you don't..? 

The moment your mother opens her mouth, you feel as if a myriad of buckets of icy water washes over you.

''You will marry a gentleman with a clean image. By then, you will be seen with great influence and garner people's love.''

Once. Twice. You slap yourself three more times but you don't wake up from this nightmare. Winter only looks at you pitifully while chewing her steak.

''Darling, would you please stop hurting yourself?'' A lovable tone is evident from the King's voice, accompanied by a concerned stare.

You sigh but the stabs of your fork through your own steak doesn't stop. ''Marry a gentleman.. I can't fucking believe this.''

''Language.'' The Queen says firmly. ''I apologize for getting ahead of you. I suppose you don't fancy a gentleman?''

''You apologize for assuming my preference but not for taking away my freedom..?''

''Do you wish to marry a lady, then?''

Silence fills the table. You sigh. ''Honestly? Anything would be fine.''

Your mother mums. ''Very well, then. You will be meeting your fianceé in 3 days–''

''–as long as I get to choose who I am marrying.''

''That won't be possible. The person needs to have the most influence and power among your age. The gender will be the only thing we can let you choose.''

''You don't have problems with having a queer princess?''

The Queen frowns. ''Of course, why would we? It is neither a crime nor a sin.''

Your father then nods. ''The royal court fully supports it since two decades ago.''

''But not the 'choosing your own lover'?'' You can only shake your head. You turn to the maid nearby. ''Please bring this to my room, I'll eat there instead.''

Everyone watches you in silence. No one at the table dares to scold you for your behavior.

''She has the rights to be upset this time.'' The King comments.

''Yes, she does.'' The Queen agrees.

Winter warily looks around, pursing her lips as she raises her hand. ''Uhm.. Your Majesty?''

''Yes, Lady Minjeong?''

Winter winces at the mention of her government name. ''As your daughter's best friend, will it be possible for me to know who she'll be marrying?''

Smiling, the King snaps his finger. ''Ah.. let's see if the future lover would pass the best friend's vibe check.''

His husband sends him a curt glance. ''Don't ever try to use generational phrases, it doesn't suit you. Back to Lady Minjeong, yes, it is possible. Would you like to know now?''

''A-already? I thought you're still looking through the profiles?''

''We have tons of staff, Lady Minjeong.''

''Right, I forgot about that.'' Winter sheepishly smiles.

''I'll excuse myself then. I have an appointment with a VIP in an hour, I have to go.'' Just as the husband and wife head towards the exit of the dining hall, the Queen turns. ''It is Prince Jaehyun of South Korea. A good man and the best one for the princess.''

''None on twitter. Nadda on instagram. Nothing on their official website. Heck, there's not even a single picture on google! Does this Prince Jaehyun even exist?'' Winter exclaims as she continues to scroll on her phone.

Frowning, you throw a pillow in her direction. ''Let the others hear your whining and they'll think you have a crush on my soon-to-be-fianceé. Why are you so interested in him?''

''Well, duh! You're literally marrying him, that's enough reason for me to get curious! The question here is why are YOU not interested?''

''I'm more interested in that man at the bar.''

''You should give some! This is the person you'll be spending your life with we're talking about!''

Scoffing, you tug the ends of her hair. ''Will you stop saying I'll marry him? The engagement will be called off sooner than mom and dad can even realize it's coming.''

Winter gasps dramatically and shots up to sit. ''What if it's some old man with a stinky smell and white hair? Oh my god what if Her Majesty agreed to marry you off to some ugly ass 50 year old man for the sake of the country's betterment?!''

Threatening to punch her if she doesn't stop with the overthinking, Winter zips her mouth as she decides to scroll on her phone once again.

You sigh. ''Pretty sure, Mom wouldn't do that, right? I mean she said something about being the best out of the people among our age so..''

''Huh, look at this.''

Winter crawls to you from the part of the she is lying, hands careful not to swipe her screen and risk refreshing the page. You squint your eyes to see.

PANN:

Crown Prince Jaehyun Once Again Stuns The People Of South Korea With His Amazing Visuals.

[ +217, -5 ] It's a shame that we're not allowed to post a photo of him on the internet. How am I supposed to stare at his face for a long time then? How am I supposed to appreciate and share his beauty?

[ +190, -3 ] Daebak! The royal family just visited our village and the rumors weren't lying when they said Prince Jaehyun is handsome ahwksjskww. He's like a walking statue!

[ +165, -20 ] I would die for a man like Prince Jaehyun. Very gentleman and polite. One time, I was with my niece when I met him and the youngest prince in a mall. My niece really wanted the toy car but Prince Jaehyun and Prince Jaemin got the last one before use but they still gave it to my niece.

[ +132, -56 ] Heol ㅋㅋㅋ Of course he would say that, he has an image to keep up! Royalties would try to polish their personalities in public often because they can't afford to lose the trust of the people. It's so fucking dumb how you think the prince acts that way because that just how he is and not because he has an image to take care of.

[ +122, -13 ] The comment above lolol. You're just jealous that the prince has everything you don't; looks, manners, and brains ㅋㅋㅋ

[ +84, -7 ] I don't think Prince Jaehyun does it because people are watching him. I've seen him lecture Prince Jaemin about how he shouldn't expect to get what he wants every time and mind you no one was inside our store that time as our store isn't quite popular so he couldn't be doing it for his image. I feel like Prince Jaehyun is genuine!

[ +65, -5 ] Didn't a lot of people see him wearing clothes with no brands? And that he has a good relationship with the youngest prince? Idk about you but I'd say that speaks a lot about him.

[ +52, -3 ] I've met Prince Jaehyun a lot of times, the only thing I could say is; 'Ultimately Prince-Like'! Handsome and tall, like he's written by Taylor Swift ㅋㅋㅋ. Prince Jaehyun is a dream *three heart emojis*

As you read over the first comment again, the curve on your forehead only deepens. They are not allowed to post a photo of their prince? Then, that would explain the lack of appearance of the royalty everywhere on social media. This pricks your interest. 

''That's a bit.. odd. They forbid any pictures of that prince from getting uploaded.''

''I know right! It's strange. Why would they hide the prince's face if he's truly handsome like the people said?''

You suck the top of your teeth. ''Maybe he's actually ugly and those that say otherwise were paid people. Or probably royal staffs ordered to spread some good words about their prince.''

''Why are you so hell-bent in making him ugly? Can't accept that your parents actually chose someone handsome, rich, and has good personality?''

Shaking your head, you wave your hand dismissively. Oh how you wish you could swipe off that annoying smirk on Winter's face. Is there a rule saying a princess can escape any law including those that involves unaliving a certain daughter of a duke? Hopefully, there is!

If, miraculously, your parents bring that man from the bar to you and arrange him to a marriage with you, maybe then you'll agree to tie up the knot at such a young age. In fact, you might even drop down to your knees and serve him–

The alcohol, or lack thereof, is definitely not good for you.

With the news of your engagement being released plus the anger from the people that is far from dwindling anytime soon, Winter didn't think twice to join you when the idea of getting drunk comes up. There's nothing better than drowning yourself in alcohol after constantly having to deal with the disappointed people of your country.

However, the night is just near getting young when your personal bodyguards dragged you and your best friend out of the bar. It is said that the royal advisor ordered them to do so but your mother was the root. It angered you to the core. They took your freedom of marrying someone you truly love and now, they're depriving you of coping with it as well? How controlling.

Winter was sent home right after both of you got howled back to the royal car. A couple of warnings from the Duke to his daughter and you know something is off. 

Winter's father isn't one to indulge himself in his daughter's vices. Sure, he keeps tabs on her every now and then but the Duke of Boryeong never attempts to control Minjeong as if some kind of robot, lest he suffers from the wrath of Duchess of Boryeong.

You could only wish your own parents did the same. Maybe they will. If you beg for a couple of days in front of the palace while dawning your white hanbok like those korean historical films that Winter likes to watch.

Shutting the car door close, you pass a whisper of 'thank you' to the driver before striding inside the palace. There aren't many people aside from those guarding the entrance which is why you don't find the need to be extra careful on your way. Being free from the shackles of aches caused by your heels is the only thing on your mind.

Just as you turn a corner, straight down the hall that leads to the dining area– you collide with someone. It'll send you a few steps backwards if it's not for the grip on your blazer. Your vision clearing takes a couple of seconds, courtesy of being tipsy from your previous activity.

''Is everything alright?'' A rather soothing yet deep voice asks you, hands already back on his sides.

Your attention diverts to the man that steadies you. Sharp cheekbones in contrast to the soft jawline, almond eyes, and a slightly chapped lips. You wonder if they're naturally pink or the color comes from cosmetic products.

''Your Highness–'' Eunhye appears out of thin air and your bodies separate right as the royal advisor sets her eyes on you. 

Your Highness? Who could this be?

''Ah, I see, you've met each other already. Shall we take this to the dining..? Her Majesty awaits alongside the King and Queen of South Korea.''

No words are exchange between you. Silence fills the air. Clicking of heels appearing every now and then until they reach where your parents and the leaders of South Korea chatters. Everyone stands before their seats at the sight of two crown heirs.

You might be rebellious but no way you're gonna forget the basic manners each person should possess. Doing a brief curtsy, you earn a loving smile from the Queen of South Korea. It radiates warmth and comfort. 

The man beside you does a bow as well that makes his body fold to a 90 degrees. It was too formal for your liking. Too ancient royalty. Too prince-like. So this is what the mysterious prince of South Korea looks like. Somehow, it irks you to the bones.

Gritting your teeth, you sit at the right side of your father after exchanging pleasantries. Each person that occupies the seats of the table starts to dig in as they begin to discuss the matter which you assume is about your issue.

You thought you could go through this dinner in peace until the conversation, courtesy of your mother, diverts to you.

''I've seen the news but it doesn't bother me at all. The princess is merely having fun, just like those around her age do. I, myself, have gone through that phase. '' Queen Miyoung laughs softly. ''The Crown Princess is only at the wrong place, at the wrong time. We used to get in trouble for sneaking out often before as well, isn't that right?''

With the amount of times you've gotten snapped by the paps and you were caught doing shits that is considered inappropriate behavior for a royalty like you— surely, it's not a coincidence anymore. Ever since your first scandal came up, the media that follows your every step doubles. They are always hungry for a headline. And you cannot deny the fact that you're giving them a reason to use you as one.

Your mother reciprocates her friend's chuckles, shaking her head as they recall their memories during when they were your age. Surprisingly, there's a relief inside you. Well, at least the Queen of South Korea doesn't think you're a defect in the royal family.

''I think the wild-like personality of our dear perfectly contrasts the gentle and tame personality of Prince Jaehyun, which is a charming point that the people will eventually love once they got to know about this marriage.'' Your mother adds. 

Balling up your fist, you had to bite the insides of your cheeks to prevent your eyes from rolling.

''Oh absolutely!'' Queen Miyoung places a hand on her son's shoulder, a smile once again appearing on her captivating features. ''My son here is known in our country as someone who is compassionate, emphatic, and humble. Talented on top of that as well!''

Adoration paints your mother's face. ''So I've heard. I feel assured that someone like Prince Jaehyun will be taking care of my daughter.''

''Please, Your Majesty, you can just call me Jaehyun.''

The velvety voice swoons the hearts of the Queen. ''Alright, alright. My heart is beaming at the thought of having you as my son-in-law soon, Jaehyun.''

What the hell? What did this Jaehyun do for him to gain the favor of those around him? Even your father is nodding and smiling in approval as he shares a conversation with this insufferable prince! 

''Humor me, Jaehyun.'' Your father speaks. ''What do you do as a hobby?''

Probably plan how he can convince everyone with that fake ass personality lol.

Jaehyun pats the napkin on his lips before replying. ''Not much, Sir. I indulge myself in music instruments and sometimes, I also sing for fun.''

Did he do his research? That's your father's favorite pastime!

''Ah, singing! If you didn't know, that's one of the things I like the most especially if I'm consumed with boredom.''

Your mother nods. ''Catch him singing while signing papers at his office. Or while feeding our dogs.''

Chuckles blooms on the table.

''Maybe if we have enough time, you could sing for us?'' Your mother suggests as the others agree. 

Jaehyun shakes his head with a fist hiding his smile. ''I'm not great at singing but I'll make sure to prepare once that time comes.''

Acting humble now, eh? He doesn't have to prepare because you'll make sure that time won't come. The skin on your forehead creases even before you could stop it. This is stressing you out more than you anticipated.

Deciding to release your stress on something else, you proceed to harshly cut your Sole Meuniére with the knife prepared by the kitchen staff all the while pursing your lips. Poor innocent Mr. Fish, suffering from the wrath of a princess.

Operation: Stopping the wedding! Step 1, do things that will turn him off. Forking the sea creature's meat, you make sure to chew extra loudly, looking straight at Jaehyun's eyes as you open your mouth every now and then while munching. Surely, anyone would grimace at the sight of chewed fish meat inside one's mouth and at the sound it makes.

Anyone, Prince Jaehyun not included. You slow down the movement of your jaw when the man only sports a brief squint of his eyes before turning away, as if he didn't see the disgusting view you just showed him. Is he not disgusted? Hah! Maybe this is how he actually chews when there's no people around so he's not bothered by it. That's right!

You nod subtly at the voices in your head, gulping the food down when it starts to feel a little weird on your tongue. Reaching for the glass of water, you sip the liquid to tend your throat.

''So about the wedding next week–''

The people gasp, your father standing up from his seat. Series of coughing sounds emit from you as you pat your chest continuously.

''I'm sorry– the water went down the wrong pipe.'' You face towards the other way while massaging your throat, your back getting tapped by your father.

What were they thinking, mentioning that fucking wedding while eating? What if you die from choking? Far-fetched, but you don't cross out the possibilities anyway.

Clearing your throat, you give them a smile after fixing yourself. ''Did I hear it right? The wedding is next week? Isn't that quite fast? We're not chasing a due date here. Plus, we haven't even announced an engagement yet. I'm sure the people will be shocked if I'm suddenly married or engaged in just a matter of days. I suggest prolonging the engagement for– let's say.. a month? I think that would be realistic enough.''

King Jaekyung sends you a grin. ''Dear, your engagement is trending on social media platforms as we speak.''

''W-what?''

You quickly fish out your phone. You don't even have to search either your name or Jaehyun's because an article about your engagement pops up the moment the app loads.

JUST IN: The Crown Princess Revealed To Be Engaged To The Crown Prince of South Korea

After getting involved in numerous issues, the Crown Princess had dropped off the limelight for a few days only to surprise us with an amazing news. According to the exclusive interview held two days ago, Her Highness shyly reveals that the reason for her disappearance on the radar is because a certain man snatches her focus with a shiny ring!

The princess happily shares that she and Prince Jaehyun, Crown Prince of South Korea, have been in a healthy relationship for 4 years now and still going strong. During the early months of dating, the two royalties express their worries about causing an unnecessary ruckus and heartbreaks if they ever go through a break up. According to Her Highness, a stable relationship wasn't exactly guaranteed as they live in different countries and have heavy responsibilities as the future leaders which is why they avoided letting the people know about their romance until they are sure that they can handle the consequences all at once.

''The country had been experiencing some serious issues back then so when Jaehyun and I started to get in touch, we decided not to make it public immediately. Not only were we just starting but we also didn't want to stir another headline if we ever broke up. We were teenagers 4 years ago, we were kids. We know that we are bound to make mistakes but as the future leaders of our countries, adding our childish break up to the countries' problems isn't something that we desire. Thankfully though, our relationship stayed strong and sturdy. There were a few fights here and there, of course, but Jaehyun and I remained understanding with each other. Those years were the reason why I didn't hesitate to say yes when he proposed to me. It was just the two of us, no cameras, no media, no other people. Saying this might be off to some but I was glad that only the both of us got to witness it. As someone who lives in front of the camera and prying eyes, we enjoyed the privacy and intimacy we had during the proposal. We initially didn't plan to have our wedding soon but we figured that there's no point in prolonging what's been a long time coming. Our love kept us intact throughout the years and until now, I could say that I'm still very much and deeply falling in love with him.'' said the Crown Princess.

Furthermore, Prince Jaehyun also shared that one of the reasons that he hid his face was to protect his relationship with his future lover, now Crown Princess. Show more…

''I don't– I don't remember getting interviewed for this...''

The Queen massages your shoulder. ''That's the power of influence, love.''

A shrieking scream jostles Winter in her bed despite being on the other line. Rubbing her ears, Winter felt as if her eardrums got busted just now. She munches on her cookies while she waits for you to be finished with all your screaming and throwing angry punches at the poor teddy bear beside your pillows.

The screeching stops. You look at Winter through the screen of your phone. ''Humor me.''

Eyes boring to you, she didn't stop licking the crumbs that were left on her fingers. ''What is it?''

''Making up stories about my supposed relationship with that man was one thing, but seriously? Telling the whole country I'm still fucking falling in love? Deeply even!''

You hear your bestfriend giggle. ''You think them making everyone think you're smitten with a man is worse than creating fake ass stories about your love life?''

''Well, Isn't it?''

''You're unbelievable.''

''Tell me something I don't know.'' Getting off your bed, you head out of the room. ''Anyways, text you later.'' Blowing her a kiss, the call ended just as you jog down the stairs.

It's been three days since you last saw that prince and those days might be the happiest of your entire life, sans the nags from your mom to get closer with that twat. For a few suns, you've surprisingly experienced peace.

However, it didn't last a long time. It seems like when God precipitated a rain of misfortunes, you were in the middle– swimming in it. Instead of peacefully staying at the palace just like you had always done, you received the news saying you'll move to a place– an apartment. And you received it through waking up one day and seeing them packing your things without even asking your permission. You were asking yourself whether it's real, or it's just a figment of your imagination as sleep still buzzed in your veins.

Now, what's so unfortunate about having your own place? Jeong Jaehyun, is what's unfortunate. You won't forget that infuriating smirk that he sports as he watches you glare at the boxes in the living room, boring holes in them. Complaints start to spill out of your mouth in a whisper despite being in the same space with him in just a matter of an hour.

Dividing the closet and choosing bedrooms is a nightmare. Everyone knows you've got things enough for 3 people, including your heels collection. Storing your possessions requires a big space, but Jeong Jaehyun thought it was a great idea to upped you and place his stupid rubber shoes (or sneakers) collections first without leaving any space for your heels.

Jaehyun stands by the door, leaning on the frame with his arms crossed as he witnesses you turn into some kind of witch, casting different spells, desperate to cast his annoying ass away. It's so comical that it had Jaehyun's shoulder shake as he stifles his laugh. A witch with a collection of heels? Truly, one of a kind.

''Let's split them, Jeong. You take the right side, I'll take the left.''

''No can do.''

''The fuck? Are you expecting me to leave my babies on the floor?''

Jaehyun quirks a brow. ''What's so bad about that? I'm sure your 'babies' will not mind where they are placed, nonetheless.''

''Well, I do!''

The prince turns his heels, but before walking away, he looks at you over his shoulder. ''Learn to take a no, witch.''

''W–what? A fucking what? Hey! Jeong, you jerk– get back here and repeat what you said! Oh you piece of– you did not just say what I heard you said.''

Needless to say, the night ended with you cackling like the devil you are in your room while Jaehyun stays at the kitchen, pressing a cold compress to his skin, hissing. This should go away by tomorrow, or he wouldn't be able to explain how he got a faint mark of slippers on his forehead. Prepare a protective gear if he wants to taunt a witch, Jaehyun notes.

Operation: Stopping the wedding! Step 2, piss the fuck out of him like he does to you.

Being the menace that he is, Jeong made it his daily errand to annoy the hell out of you. His day wouldn't go by without doing things that ticks you off so much you just wish something important would come up in Korea so Jaehyun would be obligated to leave your country and magically stay there for good. 

Example no.1, the cookies you baked for yourself.

''Jeong, where's the cookies?''

''What cookies?''

''The ones in the tray. On the countertop.''

''I don't know no cookies.''

The crumbs on the corner of his lips says otherwise. You waited for half an hour to eat that!

''You– Jeong!!''

Example no.2 followed not long after. You were running late for a hang out with Winter as you couldn't find your today's pick of pair of heels. No, you wouldn't leave this apartment until you find that very pair. Your outfit won't look put together if you wear a different one.

A quarter before 9 PM, you still haven't found the shoes. Did you perhaps leave it at the palace? That couldn't be! You swear you saw it yesterday. Going back and forth to the walk-in closet, living room, and your bedroom– you're this close to tearing your hair apart and turning the whole apartment upside down.

Your phone pings and displays Winter's message. ''Fuuuck, where did I put that?''

Washing your hands over your face, you tilt your head upwards as you let out an exasperated sigh, stomping your feet in annoyance. When you open your eyes, you see the shoes you had been looking for the past 30 minutes. At the ceiling. Where the broken ceiling fan used to be.

How the hell did that even get— You recall seeing Jaehyun standing on a ladder this morning, saying something about fixing the fan.

''JEONG JAEHYUN, YOU FUCKER!!''

Boisterous laughter echoes from the bastard's room.

You still haven't recovered from the heels incident when example no.3 shows itself.

Hammered from drinking all night long after getting your hands on your shoes, you are swaying and tripping as you reach the apartment, slurring your nonsensical words. You don't know how, but you got home safely anyway. A hangover was expected yet it is harsher than you thought it would be.

''Ah fuck..'' You hold your pounding head.

Heading towards the kitchen, you fend your drying throat some water. Washing yourself is not on the list as you change out of your black bodycon dress and fit yourself into an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. You jog out of the building after fighting the urge to throw up the elevator and arrive at the convenience store in no time, your breath that reeks of alcohol be damned.

Picking up a few items for your hangover didn't take long, the cashier is already punching them a few minutes upon your arrival.

''You..''

You bore your eyes to the cashier. ''Yes?''

''...Nothing, Ma'am.'' He then proceeds to tell you the total of what you bought.

There's no further exchange between the two of you after that, so when you get your plastic bag, you walk back to your apartment. As you prepare yourself some cup noodles, you tilt your head, tsking.

Is it just you or the cashier has been giving you some looks? You might be suffering from a headache but pretty sure, you're sober enough to notice the subtle glances the cashier has been giving you. Did you do something stupid again last night? But Eunhye would be calling you first in the morning if you did. Maybe he recognizes your face? The country's princess' face is plastered everywhere. 

''Whatever. Why am I even thinking about it?'' Ever since the engagement, you noticed that you became more cautious in your actions. The streets say the lioness got tamed by a prince. You say you just learned your lesson not to underestimate your mother's punishments.

Staring at your food, your bladder got triggered at the sight of the soup. Peeing what's probably the alcohol in your system, you stand before the sink to wash your hands. And when you look up, you feel an overwhelming surge of emotion.

You are shocked. You are angry. You want to hide yourself from embarrassment. You want to punch the wall. And on top of that, you desire to unalive a royalty, preferably a crown prince that comes from South Korea.

A smile that appears to stretch the ends of your lips. A massive black dot on your nose and cheeks. Two big horns at the top of your eyebrows.

''JEONG JAEHYUN YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD!!''

There were a lot of pranks that Jaehyun had played, with big ones not failing to show up each week. Hiding your charger. Stealing your snacks. Mismatching your socks. And many more that ruin your day so often that the second thing you'd do after waking up is checking for the prank that the prince had done for the day. You are frustrated. And it's not like you to let these kinds of things pass without getting back. This time, you're making sure he'll order to stop the wedding and regret messing with you.

Shuffling in her bed, Winter huffs. ''What do you want?''

''Help me curate a list of the most infuriating pranks.''

Your best friend frowns. ''What for? Are you turning to a kid now? Or perhaps, you're..'' Then she gasps. ''You're carrying a kid?!''

''..The fuck?'' How did she even come up with that conclusion?

''Isn't that what happens when two people who hate each other's guts live under the same roof? Like enemies to lovers!''

You scoff. ''I told you to stop watching kdramas.''

''I'm Korean, duh!'' Winter rolls her eyes. ''Don't forget I'm still upset you took a long time before telling me you literally moved in with your fianceé.''

''Well now you know, and I'm asking for help so I could escape this hellhole.''

''Wait– so you're telling me to suggest pranks in order for you to move out? How does pranking even equals to that?''

Giving her a bored stare, you click your tongue. ''I'll piss the hell of out him, he won't be able to sleep properly at night.''

Winter squeaks. ''You're pranking the prince–?!''

''Yeah, no shit. Who else would it be?''

''Never thought I'd to live the day I'll see you getting on prank wars with your fianceé.''

''Yadda yadda. Just help me with it, please.'' Winter fake gags as she watches you bat your eyes at her.

''Promise me when you get in trouble, my name won't get drag.''

''You're my ride or die, though..''

''...''

''...''

''...Fine.''

''Yay!!''

Jaehyun passes the clock a glance. He's up early so he doesn't have to worry about getting late to his appointment for the day. His footsteps ring from his bedroom, eventually transfering to the kitchen. Just as Jaehyun reaches out for a mug, a container catches his attention.

''Made too much, you can eat it if you want.'' The sticker on it says.

His eyes must be playing with him. What has gone to the witch? Should he be scared? Although overthinking aside, you mentioned that you only made more than enough for one person, hence giving it to him. Welp, free breakfast for him then.

Sitting down, Jaehyun takes off his coat lest he stains it minutes before he attends an appointment. The lid clicks open and his nostrils hit with an appetizing scent of eggs and bacons. There's some rice and tomatoes on the side as well.

Biting the bacon along with rice, Jaehyun chews slowly, checking out the taste. He then hums, figuring out there's nothing to be afraid of. They taste like what they should've been. Strangely, Jaehyun thinks it tastes more delicious.

Today, you are not at the unit as it is the start of your 'redeeming reputation' era. Jaehyun ponders what you're doing right now. Are you sleepy? He heard you talking to your friend at 2am. Have you eaten breakfast properly? You eat a little in the morning. Are you having fun? Or you're just pretending to be? You don't fancy gatherings unless it's with people you are close to.

Jaehyun doesn't know when he started thinking of you, he just catches himself wondering what you're up to often. Is he catching feelings? Is he getting infatuated? Jaehyun doesn't think much of it. If he's developing feelings, then so be it. Would it be bad for him to harbor romantic feelings for his–

Saliva lands everywhere on the counter as Jaehyun launches forward, spitting what he ate at the empty spot of his plate. ''What the fuck..?''

Using a fork, he pokes the egg, turning it sideways, up and down. The food breaks down with all the movement, revealing the receipt that left an overly salty taste on Jaehyun's buds.

Fishing out his phone, he snaps a picture of the devil food in front of him before sending it to you, uncaring if it looks disgusting and all chewed up.

JH: What the hell is this?

Not even a minute, you reply. As if you've been waiting for him to message you.

You: Uh.. egg? Duh.

Jaehyun clicks his tongue.

JH: I know it's a goddamn egg. Why the fuck does it have clumps of rock salts in it? We put iodized, not the huge ones.

You: Heh. *Tongue out and eyes shut closed tightly emoji*

Jaehyun gulps down his water alongside his irritation, eyebrows meeting each other. He tries to settle for the bacon and rice but the demonic egg fucked up his taste buds and now, he can't enjoy his breakfast. Jaehyun should've known his fate was written the moment he decided to prank you.

Little did the royalty know, it was just the start of his road to slow death. Starting from the salty as fuck eggs, Jaehyun soon finds out you took the remote of the TV and so he couldn't watch the movie he had been waiting for since the announcement of its release date, unfortunately Jaehyun is not one to remember his passwords– he couldn't log in on his mobile phone.

What comes next is the kitchen sprinklers. You must've noticed Jaehyun cooks his own food from thereon (the egg incident) and figures out it'll be a good idea to use it against him. Jaehyun didn't see the lack of labels on the sprinklers, and with his hands already memorizing the placement of herbs and spices, Jaehyun grabs what he knows is the right one. Long story short, the prince opts for food delivery as his kimchi jjigae was for the ants. It was like the demon egg all over again, except this time, it was fucking sweet.

3 days later, when Jaehyun's favorite sneakers went missing, he knew he hadn't misplaced them. Is he unlucky that you're out of the city to do your princess duties? Maybe. Is he gonna let this piss him off? No, that means satisfying your goals. This is nothing, Jaehyun can search for it, surely it's somewhere in the house.

Wrong. Well, it is in the area of the house but it's not in the house. Guess where Jaehyun found his fucking sneakers? On the fucking rooftop. How did you even put that there, he doesn't have a clue. In the end, Jaehyun had to climb a ladder and fell once at the third step (he's quite clumsy, yes) before retrieving his shoes.

As Jaehyun sits through a meeting in a stained white (or should he say pink) dress shirt, he is surely determined to get that win back

Acting civil with your fianceé is something you didn't expect after a constant back and forth of ruining each other's day, but you suppose it's only appropriate in a dinner with the family of both sides. Royals like meals as family bonding it seems, not that you know. Or do your parents consider discussing country matters on dinners as one?

Sipping your champagne, you hum quietly at the taste, too busy in your own world to listen to whatever conversation they are having at the other side of the table. That is until your father softly calls your name. You turn to him and pay attention.

''How's your appearances doing so far?''

''Good, I guess..? If it's not, Eunhye won't let me rest for a day or two.''

It's not like the King and Queen only orders you to help in charities and orphanages solely for building a good reputation for you, they also genuinely care about the unfortunate.

''That's great to hear then.'' Queen Miyoung smiles. And even though you're once struck by her beauty, it doesn't sit well with you.

''Hmm?''

What your mother says next emits a confused look from you. ''Prince Jaehyun will be accompanying you in every schedule, especially those that involves the media.''

You frown. ''But I thought it was for my image? Why would I need him to come with me?''

''Because once people see you getting along with your husband, moreover someone known for his kind and compassionate personality, it'll be easier to convince them that you've changed. Prince Jaehyun will be a great help to you.''

Seeing the grin that the man in front of you is not-so trying to hide, you clench your fist around the cutleries. How irritating.

''It was all thanks to the Prince for he voluntarily comes forward to join you on your appearances including those that does not involve medias.''

So the suffering you'll experience for the following weeks was his idea?

Squinting your eyes at the prince, you reach your foot forward, your face remains unchanging. You observe Jaehyun who's happily eating his food for a few seconds before smirking and stomping down on his foot hard enough to make it hard for him to hide his pathetic whimper.

Concern and worries are thrown at him but he dismisses them with his usual flower smile. Jaehyun then looks at you, his eyes diverting your subtly hidden fist, gesturing to punch him as a representative for your irritation at him. Jaehyun tongues his cheek and chuckles. He dares to fucking chuckle?!

Why is he smiling as if he won the olympics? Why is he so smug about this? And more importantly, why is your heart racing as you stare at the dimples shyly peeking out?

You yelp as you accidentally bite your tongue. Before you could even reach for yours, Jaehyun shoves his glass of water to your hands. Everyone is looking at the exchange, you have no choice but to accept his offer. You wanted them to believe this marriage fell apart naturally, and not because you sabotaged it. Though, you plan on doing the latter.

King Jaekyung's snicker rings on your ears. ''Ah, it seems like the two have been getting along. Perhaps the shared apartment was indeed a great idea.''

Your mother follows right after, clapping lightly. ''Right, right. Look at them, treating each other like real lovers. I'm not gonna be surprised if they themselves request for the wedding to be done soon.''

''How lovely. Are you alright though, darling? What has caused you to bite your tongue?'' Queen Miyoung worries.

''It's noth–''

''She was too busy staring at my face, Mom.'' Now, what the flying fuck is this motherfuck trying to play?

Queen Miyoung squeaks. ''Is that so?''

''Yes– my fianceé here even once said I'm too handsome, I could be up as an exhibit in Louvre.''

You give Jaehyun a smile so sarcastic he will know to run for his life the moment you two get out of here. The other people in the room thought it was a smile fondness instead. While Jaehyun sends you a finger heart, you itch to send him the middle finger.

Your mother shares a giggle with Mrs. Jung. ''Ah.. young love.''

Jaehyun earns another stomp.

Days after the dinner with the Kings and Queens sees you and Jaehyun in a kindergarten wearing pink white polka dots aprons. The little humans cheer as their teacher announces that they'll be designing their own cakes today with the help of the visitors. Visitors being you and Jaehyun.

Raising a piece of fruit, you snatch the kids' attention. ''Who wants some strawberries?'' 

''I want to! I want–!'' Little Seol-a makes grabby hands to you, making you chuckle.

''Okay, okay. Say ah..'' Popping the strawberry in Seol-a's mouth, you receive a cute giggle and 'thank you' from the little girl.

As the teacher announces the start of the making, everyone quickly gets to work, eager to create their most beautiful versions of cakes. Since you also have a cake to decorate, you only look at the kids every now and then, checking up on them. So far, everyone's doing good.

A high-pitched voice calls you. ''Can you please help me with the icing..?''

Smiling, you leave your seat and transfer beside Mina. ''What should we do?''

''I want it pink like Seol-a's, it's so pretty!''

Mina's words pull Seol-a out of her focus, turning to the two of you. Seol-a purses her lips. ''But I'm making it for my mommy. Does your mommy likes pink too?''

Mina looks down and her eyebrows crease in thinking. ''No. My mama likes blue, I think..''

Watching the exchange, you could tell that Seol-a doesn't want to tell Mina off but at the same time, she doesn't want her friend to do exactly the same as she's decorating hers specifically at the thought of her mom.

You decide to step up. ''Then, Mina, would you like yours to be blue?''

Mina ponders for a second before nodding, smiling a bit. ''Okay..''

Seol-a perks up. ''Mina! I'll be pink and yours will be blue, and then let's decorate it the same so our mommies would get matching cakes!''

Mina lights up at what she heard. She will have a matching cake with Seol-a, yet also have her own version. The two girls squeals at the cute teddy bears and gushes over the pastel colors their cakes will be. You smile in adoration.

Minutes pass, little humans ask for your assistance until almost everyone at your table is finished. You feel a tap on your back.

''Hi, Rowoon!''

The chubby boy smiles cutely at you, hugging you. ''Teacher, can you come help me please? Teacher Jaehyun is a bit busy with the others.''

Glancing at Jaehyun, a bunch of kids flock around him, calling his name and asking for his help. It has no sign of dwindling down so you nod, heading towards the boy's place after telling your own group that you'll be at the other table. As you help Rowoon with his cakes, you fail to ignore the conversations he's having with the kids due to the proximity.

''I love chocolates, I eat them everyday! Teacher, do you like chocolates?''

''Yes, of course. Chocolates is one of my favorites.''

''I like chocolate too but my mom won't let me eat more than three. Does your mom let you eat a lot of chocolate, Teacher?''

Jaehyun laughs, shaking his head at the core memory of Queen Miyoung scolding him for eating too much sweets. ''No, she doesn't. Your teeth will turn bad if you eat a lot of it and mommies are just taking care of you.''

''Turn bad? Like fall out–?!'' 

''Most likely.'' The little boy covers his mouth dramatically, earning another laugh from Jaehyun.

''Teacher! Your cake is so pretty!''

''Why, thank you, Yuna.'' Jaehyun boops her nose with a clean finger.

''You should get an award for having a pretty cake.''

One kid appears. ''My mommy gives me kisses as an award!''

''Me too!''

''Does your mommy gives you kisses too, Teacher?''

What's with these kids and questions about mommies?

''No, she doesn't.''

''Oh no.. is she mad at you?''

Jaehyun giggles. ''She's not. She used to give me kisses but not anymore because I'm a big boy now.''

''Ah, you don't want kisses anymore?''

Thinking he will earn kisses from the little kids if he says no, Jaehyun tells them he loves kisses. Humming, one of them then points a finger.

''Teacher will give you kisses as a reward if your cake is the prettiest!''

Jaehyun follows the path where the kid is pointing at. ''Really?'' His eyes landed on you, still and unmoving. Jaehyun bites his lower lip to stop the laugh rumbling on his chest.

Jaehyun grins. ''Then I should work on making this the prettiest cake ever made.''

You almost choke on your own spit.

Articles after articles, headlines after headlines. Old people gush about how pure your interactions are. Adults nudge each other at how you sweetly stare. Teenagers envies how Jaehyun performs all love language at you. It seems like everything now revolves around the Crown Princess and her lover.

The crowd certainly loves the contrasts between you and Jaehyun whereas you're more carefree and casual while Jaehyun sticks to his formal attitude. One thing that became popular amongst your supporters, or 'shippers', is the picture of you– like the diva that you are– wearing a pink miniskirt, corset top, socks with ribbons on top, mary jane pumps, and a cream loose cardigan sits beside Jaehyun who is dawned in his usual dress shirt, slacks, and blazer. You cannot forget that fanfic you found wherein Jaehyun is a CEO and you're a supermodel. Shippers are imaginative and delusional at the same time.

It's been 2 months since you've started attending events with the prince and it wasn't as hellish as you thought. Maybe because Jaehyun can't cause a problem in public, or maybe he just doesn't find the need to. Nonetheless, that didn't cease the fire that is the prank war. It goes on and on that even Winter finds it hilarious at this point. Who knew the lovely couple searched for a list of pranks to do in their free time so they could piss each other off?

Lately though, you've noticed (actually it was Winter) that your pranks have been getting less harmful to your daily lives and had just become something to enlighten the mood. Like the clown that pops up when you open the fridge and the snake balloon hidden in the tin can. Very uncharacteristically, you even find yourselves posting each other's reactions on your stories. And if Jaehyun created an instagram account just to upload videos and pictures of you, you're not so sure. A thing you're certain though is that the dislike for Jaehyun had faded away and was replaced by something else. Something you're yet to find out.

''A penny for your thoughts?'' A finger snaps you out of your thoughts. Jaehyun grins.

You shake your head and continue looking for the best quality of vegetables as Jaehyun follows you around, pushing your cart. Another thing that you've grown to get used to is doing groceries with Jaehyun. Very domestic, isn't it?

''Can we buy this one?'' Jaehyun points at the packs of big marshmallows.

Frowning, you shake your head. ''What're you gonna need it for? It'll just expired at the cabinet.''

''No, it won't.''

''How so?''

''I'll eat it before you can even say chubby bunny.''

''No, Jeong.''

''But we have a mini chocolate fountain machine at home!''

''Yes, a fountain machine you, may I say–'' You face him. ''–unnecessarily bought. Literally no reason to buy one.''

''Well now I can finally use it and it won't be useless anymore..?''

Tsking, you walk away to look at the meat. In the end, Jaehyun huffs, staring longingly at his marshmallows before tailing you, steps heavy.

After shopping for at most 2 weeks worth of food, you type on your phone while Jaehyun carries all those bags. So much for being a macho man. Winter sends an atrocious idea and forces a laugh out of you.

''What's funny?'' Jaehyun asks like a curious cat, peeking at your phone.

''Winter says we should announce that all of this is fake at the upcoming press conference and film Eunhye's reaction. God, that would be hilarious honestly.''

''Oh..'' And curiosity finally kills the cat. Jaehyun mums. Are you faking it all this time? Are you not enjoying your time with him? Are you faking having fun whenever you're with him, even now?

You are about to ask Jaehyun for the car keys but as someone who spends their entire life under the spotlight, you know a camera when you see one. Pocketing your phone, you stride towards the man at the car beside Jaehyun's. Said man tries to run away but you are quicker with your feet and grab him by his collar, you hear Jaehyun's call of your name.

''What's wro–''

''Give me the phone.''

''Why– what's happeni–''

''Give me the fucking phone!'' Shoving the man to a car, he winces at the pain in his back. When he surrenders his phone, you delete his video and throw it on the ground before stomping on it, crashing it.

Jaehyun calls your name again. ''Why did you do that? Stop, you're choking him.''' Though obviously wanting to calm you down, Jaehyun doesn't touch you anywhere, opting to wash his palm over his face.

You ignore him and focus on the man shivering in your hold. ''Tell me, what the fuck do want?''

''Nothing–''

You dig your forearm deeper to his neck. ''I'm only gonna ask this twice, you fucking twig. What do you want?''

The man struggles to breathe but attempts to answer anyway. ''I–I was.. paid to–'' He wheezes. ''To prove t-that.. Prince Jaehyun isn't what– what he pretends to be.'' The man coughs.

Raising a brow at what you hear, you wrap your hand around his throat and lean closer to his ear. ''Listen here, fucking microphallus. I know this fucker here looks like he's a worldwide known actor but in reality, he can't act for his fucking life. This man doesn't have a fucking future in acting. He can't fake anything, he's too goody shoes. This prince can't do a thing except entertaining the fucking crowd.''

He is genuine and is not pretending in front of the cameras. Is what Jaehyun can hear between your lines.

''So if you're thinking of exposing him and shit– too bad for you, Jeong lives his life by the books.''

Sighing, Jaehyun tugs at your shirt. ''Let's.. let's let him go. He said he was just paid to do it, didn't he?''

Glancing at the prince, you could see the stress on his irritatingly handsome face and annoyingly, you find yourself to hate the foreign emotion on it. Clicking your tongue, you let go of the man but grips his collar again before he can get away. ''Spread misinformations about my fianceé again, you'll be caressing metal bars the next day.''

Jaehyun holds your hand to take it away from the man and fixes his mask. ''Sir, you can send your resumé at the palace and you should be offered a job with monthly payment. Please don't ever damage someone for the sake of quick money. Money wears off in time, but the damage doesn't.''

With that, Jaehyun tugs you away from the scene. During the ride, silence fills the car and as you arrive at the apartment, that's when you realize Jaehyun's hand is still intertwined with you from the moment he holds it until you reach the flat. Why does Jaehyun look like it's the most normal thing? Why is your heart doing the fucking rabbity pumps?

Jaehyun heaves a sigh. ''Damn.. that's actually crazy– I can't even believe it happened. It went by so fast, my brain couldn't process the fact that someone believes I fake my personality and manners in front of the camera. Like–''

You plop to the couch.

''–what did I even do? Did I upset them? Did they say hi to me one time and I didn't say it back? Did they–''

''I punched the guy because I wanted to protect my friend.''

Jaehyun stops arranging the items you bought. ''What–?''

Hugging your knees, you keep your eyes on Jaehyun's. ''It was my friend's birthday and she wanted to celebrate it in this bar, it was called gangbang. Controversial, I know. We were having fun just like we planned to. But a group of guys at the other table starts joining in. We weren't paying attention to them– or at least, I wasn't. But one of my friends starts complaining about how one of the guys 'accidentally' brushes his hand on her ass too many times. Accidental, my ass. No one wants to come forward so I did, being the hero that I am. I talked to the guy calmly and asked what's wrong. Said guy told me my friend was lying but fuck– my friend was this close to crying about it. And then I got pissed at how his friends defends him when the CCTV clearly shows the incident so I fucking punched him and broke his nose.''

''Next thing I know, news outlets reports me getting involved in a brawl and ruining a fucking commoner's nose without including the reason why I did it.'' You scoff. ''Said friend I protected refused a statement and left the country without defending me.''

Jaehyun sits at the carpeted floor, facing you, looking with worry in his eyes. Something in your eyes flashes but disappears before Jaehyun could even determine what it is.

''And the pictures of me sleeping on the streets?''

Jaehyun hums, caressing your hands.

''They told everyone I was so fucking drunk I couldn't even bring myself home and showed videos of me chugging vodkas, whiskeys, beers straight from their bottle. But why didn't they show the part where all those fucking people around me gangs up on me and calls me a fucking pussy, a no fun, and a fucking killjoy. They didn't stop until I agreed on drinking all those fucking liqours.'' You sniffs, you didn't even know when you started tearing up.

''And that video where my bodyguard had to carry me because I wouldn't wake up? The palace was on emergency alert at that time– why? Because alcohol and sleeping pills were mixed inside me. When I tried to explain what happened, no one fucking believed someone slipped me a fucking bunch of sleeping pills– my heartbeat was fucking slowing down and I was over-sedated, Jaehyun. There's no point of telling them the truth when they already decided I was fucking lying. For fuck's sake, I was near to dying that fucking night– god!'' You bury your head in your knees, shoulders shaking as you sob, fist continuously knocking your head hard.

Jaehyun hugs your quivering figure, whispering words that he knows best that'll comfort and calm you. ''I understand you. I believe you. It's okay, love. You're gonna be okay. I'm here, alright? I'm here, love. Everything's gonna be okay.''

Your cries haven't even died down when you look at him. Jaehyun thinks vulnerability was the flickering emotions behind your eyes these past minutes that he failed to catch on.

''Aside from the people who did those shits, Winter is the only one who knows about the truth. Because she's important to me.'' You hiccup, tears streaming down your face. ''Do you get why I'm telling you this, Jeong?''

There's a clue, but Jaehyun doesn't want to get ahead of you. ''..why?''

You chuckle while crying, more tears roll down your cheeks. ''God, you're so fucking stupid, aren't you? Winter is important to me so she knows the truth. I told you the truth because–'' You bow your head down and hold Jaehyun's hands. ''–you're more than just important to me.''

Jaehyun's breath hitches, and the world stops. ''Oh baby..'' He kisses the back of your hands and the top of your head before hugging you tightly.

He attempts to say the words that have been at the tip of his tongue since you decorated cakes with the kids but you cut him off.

''I will hurt you, Jeong, accidentally. I don't communicate. I don't open up. I find it hard to trust people easily despite sharing a close bond with them. I curse more than I say affectionate and loving words. I push away more than I pull. I'm violent. I am broken, I'm a mess.''

Jaehyun smiles, so handsomely it makes your heart ache. ''You don't communicate and open up? That's fine, I can read between your lines. You find it hard to trust people? That's alright, trusts are earned, not bought. You curse more than being lovey dovey? Well, I'm lovey dovey more than cursing. You push more than you pull? Isn't it great that I'm the exact opposite. You're violent? I could do the talking, you could do the punching. You're broken? I will patch you up again and again. You're a mess? So what, you're a beautiful kind of mess. And if you hurt me and wound my heart.. well then– Sorry, Heart.''

Right there and then, the faceless man that you saw at the bar and had a crush on morphs with Jaehyun's. You chuckle. ''Fate is playing with us, isn't it?''

Jaehyun cradles your face. ''And I'm glad it did. Because I met you.''

''You're such a sap.''

''Oh shush, you love it.''

''Maybe, maybe not.''

''Pfft, wait– does this mean we stop the pranks now?''

''Do what the hell you want, but you'll continuing to be pissed off first thing in the morning.''

Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 3, fall in love with your soon-to-be-groom.

A shudder electrifies the fibers of your body as Jaehyun spreads the cold juices of peaches along the lines of your collarbone, his tongue dips in next, easing to freezing temperature with his warmth. He sucks where the sticky liquid lays previously, his cravings of sweetness beaming in glee as the flavor slowly seeps in him.

Your breath heavy, hands moving to caress your boyfriend's blond strands as his kisses travel to your breasts. The flesh of the fruit circles your nipples before Jaehyun dives in, sucking the hard nubs all the while fondling and playing with the other. Quiet moans of pleasure finally escape your lips after minutes of holding back, your head lolls back and your eyes close shut, sighing from the pleasure slowly building up. Slurping sounds bounces off the four walls of your shared bedroom, it's so obscene that anyone who could hear it could certainly feel how hungry Jaehyun is for the mixture of the peach's sweetness and the bits of saltiness coming from your sweat. It's disgusting to think but Jaehyun's cock gets only harder with each taste.

The surface of his hand palms your clothed core, thumbing where he's sure your clit settles and gives the area a slight pressure, he makes circles around the button that elicits a series of whimpers from you.

Fuck. How he wishes to see this image of you everytime. Your glossy eyes, puckered swollen slips, and whole face scrunched up as your body shivers in his hold, back arching as pleas of having him inside you draws out. 

Break me, wreck me, ruin me. Those are everything your body screams. 

Oh, he will ruin you, alright.

Jaehyun rips the remaining pieces of clothing off of you, gripping your legs apart, wide and open just for him. The way your pussy glistens under the dim lights of the room, the prince's lust fuels up until he could no longer bear the desire of devouring you. 

His mouth, his tongue, his body, his mind -- screams for your taste, it craves the feeling of you thrashing against his embrace as you fall apart. And Jaehyun.. he's just a man. One who could only do much to control himself from drowning his face in the sea of tempting your slick.

''Ooh, Jaehyun, please..'''

From the alley your legs created, you are able to see Jaehyun's face and how his brow quirks in question to your plea. He's so fucking cruel, unlike the gentleman and polite prince everyone in your country had loved since the beginning. If they only know.

The pad of his tongue follows the traces of your juice, squeezing the last bits of the peach and lets it trickle down on your pussy. Dipping the tip of his tongue, he wiggles it until he's deep inside your warm tight walls, clenching on his muscle as he fucks you with it.

''Jaehyun–! Fuck!''

Your hips jerks upwards, practically offering your core to Jaehyun's face. That, Jaehyun accepts. Gripping each thigh, he pins you to the bed as he sucks, licks, and devours more than you offer.

Jaehyun's fingers join his tongue, squelches emitting from your soaked pussy as Jaehyun's digits continuously penetrate it. By the time Jaehyun is about to add the fourth finger, he sees your eyes rolling and notices the constant clenches of your walls– a telltale sign of your climax. And Jaehyun isn't Jaehyun if not a bastard in bed.

He pulls away before walking away to fetch something, all the while unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. Jaehyun reaches the foot of your bed, he tugs his pants and boxers down, revealing a girthy and lengthy dick with an angry tip.

Jaehyun pumps his cock, staring at your sore pussy and fucked out face. Your breathlessness is music to his ears.

''Jaehyun, please..''

''Please?''

You open your legs wider, hands dipping between your legs to spread the cheeks of your pussy. ''It's all yours. Please, fuck me.''

''Fucking hell..'' Jaehyun nudges your legs open as you both moan in unison as his cock pushes past your entrance, veins rubbing against the tight velvet walls. Jaehyun plans to wait for you to adjust, but you shake your head. He smirks, and starts fucking.

''My girl is getting brave, huh? Let's how much you can fucking take.''

God, this is why you love Jaehyun in bed. This is the only time you hear him curse, be rough, and manhandle you in positions you didn't even know you're capable of doing.

You ask for it hard, and Jaehyun gives it every time. Wrapping his hand under your knee, he folds your body until it touches your chest as Jaehyun slides deeper, reaching deep inside you that a bump appears every now and then on your stomach.

''Fuck– do you see that, baby? Look at your stomach, shit, it's bulging. Am I too big for your tight pussy, baby?''

Jaehyun pins you against the headboard with his weight as drools escape the corners of your lips, dribbling down your neck. You grip the top of the headboard for support.

''Ah ah ah! S-so good.. so good!''

Jaehyun chuckles lowly. ''Does it, baby? Tell me what makes you feel good.''

''Y–your big–big cock! Fuck, i-it's so, haahh, so big!''

''That's right. My big fat cock is making my girl feel so good; she can't even construct a proper sentence. Do you know how that makes me fucking feel, baby? I feel like a fucking king, you know. Crown Princess, fucking feisty and always hissing at everyone, crumbling down at the feeling of my cock at her guts.''

Jaehyun plows into you deliciously, white spots showing themselves at different parts of your vision as pleasure takes over your body. ''You're so fucking tight, baby. You're choking me.''

Yelping, you hold onto Jaehyun as he withdraws from your pussy, carrying you as he transfers you to the glass window near the bed, pushing you against it before he starts pounding vigorously once again, teeth sinking to break your skin, lapping the droplets of blood. Lewd moans knock out of your throat. Seeing your reflection from the window, you're reminded of those pornos you've watched as a curious teen.

''Jaehyun– uh, uh, Jaehyun! You're gonna make me come!''

''Then come. Come for me, darling.''

You white out, shuddering in Jaehyun's hold as you clamp down on his cock, white ring appearing around his length. Jaehyun buries his head in the crook of your neck as he chases his own high, groaning as he finally reaches it, pulling out to finish himself on your back.

As a minute passes, you both regain the air your lungs have been desperately needing. Jaehyun makes you face him and kisses your lips full of gentleness, so in contrast to the rough pounding earlier.

And of course, Jaehyun isn't Jaehyun if not a sap after sex.

''I love you so much, baby.''

You snort. ''I do too, idiot. Now clean me up.''

Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 4, abort mission.

Come morning, the sunlight seeps through the curtains and shines on your bed beautifully. Jaehyun wakes up, his day already made at the sight of you sleeping peacefully in his arms. You look adorable, like you couldn't harm a fly. You wouldn't if said fly doesn't harm any of your loved ones.

God, Jaehyun is so fucking in love with you. You smile, his day is made. You breathe, suddenly the weather is perfect. You exist, Jaehyun finds every reason to live. You are the water that keeps Jaehyun tethered.

''What the fuck do you want, Jeong?''

The prince chuckles. 8am in the morning and you're already so grumpy. It confuses a few staff members how Jaehyun fell in love with you. If he won't get in trouble, he'll tell them you're a witch and make him drink some irreversible love potion or what.

''Nothing. You're pretty.''

''... Shut up. Just because you look fucking good in the morning.''

''Thank you, baby. I love you.''

''Ugh, you're too in love with me.''

Jaehyun giggles. ''I am. Will you marry me?''

You stop yawning and look at him as though he grew a second head (or third..?). ''The fuck did you say?''

''Will you marry me, baby?''

You scoff. ''Ask that again if you have a ring to out around me.'' The words are mumbled but Jaehyun manages to hear it.

''What?''

''I said your breath stinks, Jeong.''

Shaking his head in disbelief, Jaehyun laughs deeply, caused by his morning voice. You find that hot but you won't te him because he'll use it against you everytime.

Jaehyun reaches for something behind him, inside the drawer, and faces you again. There you see a small red box on his palm, Jaehyun opens it and reveals the ring you've once mentioned to be your dream ring. Wordlessly, he slips the ring on your finger after taking off the fake one.

''But we're already engaged though.''

''Eh.. that was fake, baby. This one's real.''

You raise a brow. ''I haven't even said yes.''

''You'll say no to me?''

''Pfft, you're getting too cocky. I don't like that.''

''Hmm, sure, love.'' Jaehyun smiles warmly and takes you in his arms again. You bury your head in his chest.

''Jeong,''

Jaehyun hums.

''I hate you for making me feel this way.''

Jaehyun settles his hands on the sides of your face and caresses your cheeks with his thumbs. ''I love you too, witch.''

''Psst,''

''What now, baby?''

''I love you, Jaehyun.''

Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 5 and the last step, be in love and marry each other for real.

#nct #jung jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct 127 #nct smut #jaehyun smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct fanfic #nct soft hours #jaehyun soft hours #nct boyfriend #nct royalty #nct royalty au #prince jaehyun #jaehyun boyfriend #jaehyun royalty #prodbymaui

[gimmehyuck]

try again | j.jh

summary. jaehyun remembers the night he met you, and even after that one night he often thought of you and wished things would have been different, but by a weird twist of fate he gets to see you again, except this time... you're not alone.

or alternatively:

jaehyun gets to try again, for real this time.

pairing. idol!jaehyun x teacher!yn

words. 19.8k-ish

genre. somewhat of a second chance romance? lots of cute things going on, and it wouldn't be a gimmehyuck fic if i didn't have something angsty

warnings. there's not much to warn about tbh? jaehyun not believing in love at first sight but then essentially does, there's a one night stand (nothing explicit), and also a child (gasp i know), alcohol is mentioned as well as pineapple on pizza, a wild blue haired haechan makes an appearance, johnmark being the best, jaehyun is generally unhappy with being an idol at this stage of his life, idk but y'all can thank my friend ruby for this getting finished, she was on my ass about it... happy late birthday jaehyun lmao

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

this was completely and utterly unlike himself, jaehyun thought over and over as he laid in your bed listening to you breathe. he wasn’t a one-night stand kind of man, he was too busy to let himself fall into these kind of temptations. he was a man, he told himself, and yeah, he liked sex, but the middle of tour? he shook his head at himself as he stared at the ceiling.

his mouth spoke on his own when he saw you, your beauty catching him entirely off guard. dinner at 6 with johnny was only supposed to be a quick get-out-of-the-hotel-for-a-bit thing, forty-five minutes tops. but the second you walked up and asked if you could start them off with any waters, or if they preferred beer, he was enamored. forty-five minutes turned into double that and johnny could only smile at himself at the very obvious flirtatious exchanges and when you wrote your number on the receipt you had placed on the table with a scribbled note that said ‘i get off at 11, call me if you want :)’, johnny was more than supportive.

“man, just live a little.” johnny had told him in the taxi to the hotel, and jaehyun was still on the fence about it but when it was 10:53 and he still couldn’t get your smiling face out of his head, his fingers moved entirely on their own. you responded to him at 11 exactly, and even though he had just ate and wasn’t hungry, he agreed when you asked if he’d be up to get something to eat with you. twenty minutes later he found himself in your presence again, baseball hat tugged as far down as it would go and a mask tugged slightly down to rest on his chin and he couldn’t help but listen to things about yourself and he realized he wanted to know more and more with each laugh you let out.

he wasn’t a love at first sight kind of man, but he could understand that thought behind it because, damn, you were funny and kind and absolutely beautiful.

“sorry, i’ve been going on too much about myself, haven’t i?” you asked, face turning a little sheepish when you realized he hadn’t said much of a word the last fifteen minutes but you noticed his smile never fell from his face. he shook his head in answer and picked up a fry from the shared pile on the table, “no, i’m enjoying hearing all about you.”

“well, let’s change it up some, tell me about yourself. you from around here?” you asked, copying his movements and munching on a fry yourself.

“mmm,” he thought for a moment. he didn’t want to be secretive, but he wasn’t comfortable turning the conversation into a long winded one about his group and his fame and although he was thankful for all of that, he noticed it had slowly started to wear him down. no, he genuinely was enjoying just being himself with you, not having to be anyone else. “i’m from seoul, and i work… in entertainment.” he finally decided on.

not a lie, not exactly.

“oh, that sounds really exciting! do you get to meet a lot of famous people doing that?” you asked tilting your head slightly as you did so, genuine curiosity on your face.

his smile grew, oh if only you knew. “i have here and there, they’re just people even if they’re famous.”

you nodded in response to that and your lips twisted slightly in a frown, “i always feel a little bad for celebrities in that sense. i can’t imagine worrying about how my next sentence will be dissected and twisted into something else.”

the more you spoke, the more you surprised him. no one really thought about them in that way, usually jumping directly to the misconstruing of his words or actions as something else entirely.

“yeah, i imagine that’s pretty difficult.” he agreed with you knowingly, then asked, “so do you enjoy being a waitress?”

your smile faltered a little, and you sighed, “i mean, yeah. i like meeting new people but i’m only doing it for another semester and then i’ve got my degree. it took me longer than i’d like to admit, since i’m almost twenty-four now but i had to work enough to make the money to pay for my tuition and well, yeah. so i’ll have my bachelors in a few months’ time and then i’ll be done with the restaurant.”

“oh?” jaehyun asked, reaching again for more fries. “what are you getting your degree in?”

“teaching!” you said with a brilliant smile on your face. “i want to teach, but lately i’ve been leaning towards teaching english overseas and i think you were my sign to do just that. i’ve been debating between korea and japan.”

jaehyun laughed a little at that, “well not to be biased but i can vouch for korea. it’s a really beautiful place.”

and the conversation continued like that, asking questions back and forth. you answering him honestly and jaehyun answering you as honestly as he could without turning the conversation into the direction he didn’t want it to go. the food was gone and the conversation was still going but you had invited him to your place which wasn’t that far away and jaehyun thought he’d hesitate to say yes but his answer was so immediate it startled him a bit. the constant back and forth went on even still at your apartment and he felt like he had known you for a long time, much longer than just a few hours at least, he felt at ease and comfortable and it was a feeling he didn’t realize he was missing. when you suddenly kissed him midsentence he froze, his entire face blank as his brain processed what had just happened, unsure how to exactly to proceed next and you blushed brightly at him, your confidence unwavering.

“sorry,” you giggled a little nervously at the way his face was in shock, “i don’t have any expectations of tonight, but i wanted to kiss you at least once. you’re so cute, especially your dimples. i’m sorry if i made you uncomf – mmph!” his lips effectively silencing you in the same manner yours had him.

except he didn’t pull away, and you wrapped your arms around him and the night carried on, each kiss leading into a touch, and then a gasp. you led him into your room and kicked the door shut with your foot, hands frantically removing clothing in a trail to the bed. small giggles were shared between gasping breaths within the breaks of kissing and the gasps slowly transformed into sounds of pleasure and while you fell asleep against him after, jaehyun couldn’t turn his racing mind off.

he didn’t regret anything, he didn’t regret his actions. he didn’t regret you.

he regretted that he couldn’t stay.

and so when he knew you were fully asleep, when your breathing was the deepest, he got up from your bed and slowly replaced his clothes one by one, dragging out the moments he had in your presence. his hat was the last thing he found on the floor and he tugged it on, sighing softly to himself, pulling out his phone to read that it was 5:20 am, and with one last glance over his shoulder he left you there in the bed sound asleep. a deep guilt he couldn’t shake making a home for itself in his chest.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

                              aug 9

9:33 am you: hey! everything ok?

9:35 am you: wanna go get breakfast? :)

12:42 pm dimples: i’m sorry, i just saw this. i had work things to take care of. how did you sleep?

3:30 pm you: that’s ok! i slept alright :)

3:31 pm you: are you busy tonight? wanna get food?

4:45 pm dimples: if i get off in time, sure. i’ll let you know.

7:02 pm you: you alright?

7:28 pm dimples: i’m sorry, again. work is kicking my ass, how did your day go?

7:32 pm you: it was fine! started working on an essay i had due, you know. the fun stuff, how about you? busy?

7:45 pm dimples: you have no idea haha

7:49 pm you: you can tell me about it if you want? believe it or not, i’m a great listener

                                       read 10:45 pm

                           aug 13

2:43 pm you: sent attachment

2:43 pm you: saw this and remembered how you

2:43 pm you: sorry, thumb hit send lol. you mentioned you liked this band, and i thought of you

2:44 pm you: hope you’re ok

                           read 12:01 am

                           aug 19

11:01 pm you: y’know, i’m not mad at you or anything i did say i had no expectations lol. just kinda hoped this would have been different, you know? it kinda felt different to me…

11:02 pm you: but that’s alright lol i hope you’re ok

                                     delivered

                          aug 31

7:49 am you: jaehyun

7:50 am you: look, i need you to respond

7:50 am you: please

7:51 am you: i’m freaking out

7:51 am you: idk what to do, and i’m scared

                                                 not delivered

7:53 am you: what the fuck??

                                               not delivered

7:55 am you: fuck. you. jaehyun.

                                               not delivered

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

five years later.

although the years had passed for jaehyun, it was all so quick that the night with you still felt fresh to him. he often thought of you and how you were, often thought of if you graduated and were teaching. if you got to do everything you had confessed to him that night in the extended lengths of the conversations had.

he often thought if you were here in korea with him like you had planned and he just had no clue.

if you were, you hated him, he was sure.

his manager had caught him checking his phone that night with an unsaved number on it, had sneakily read your messages over his shoulder and absolutely lost it on him. he went on and on about his idol image, his career, his future and repeated ‘what if this got out? what if dispatch found it?’ and jaehyun couldn’t say anything back but ‘okay’. the feeling he had when talking to you, the small feeling of being himself again, smothered in an instant.

when you had sent him a picture of a vinyl record of one of his favorite bands, he wanted so badly to respond to you. he had even typed out a response when he finally was able to read it, but he knew it wouldn’t help anything at all if he did. he really did think it was better to let it lie, and so he turned off his read receipts.

the last message he saw from you, made him gnaw on his bottom lip, and the next day he left the country going back to korea and his number was changed.

he wanted to be different for you, he had barely met you but he knew you, it wasn’t a coincidence to him. but what kind of life would a long-distance relationship be with someone who would be so busy some days or even weeks that he couldn’t respond? he knew you’d always be worried, or hurt when communication was so small. he thought of it a lot. and he was thinking of all those things, when he was sure, he had ultimately decided, that you probably didn’t actually want to be with him.

he would have just… liked it if you had.

maybe if he weren’t famous he would have dated you.

maybe it would have been like one of the cheesy romance movies taeyong liked to watch, maybe he even would have fallen in love.

and maybe… maybe he would have even married you if his daydream let him get that far, if his life would have followed the cliché movie plot, but that was all a what if to him now. something he liked to sit and think about if only just to make sure the guilt never left him.

“jaehyun?” his name being called pulled him out of his memories and his head jerked up to look at who had called him. his manager was staring at him with drawn eyebrows, and at jaehyun’s confused expression he breathed deeply out of his nose.

“what do you think?” this time it was the PR manager asking, the person who had asked him, johnny, and mark to come to the conference room to go over their schedules for the next couple of days.

“about what? sorry, i was…” jaehyun trailed off.

“he thinks it’s a great idea.” mark answered for him, giving jaehyun a concerned look. “he loves kids.”

“okay, then it’s set. the kids are unaware they’re meeting you all, and they probably won’t really realize you’re famous but it will be filmed for content with permission from the schools principal already. It’ll be good for the groups image, everyone loved the last time you guys sat with kids.” and with that the meeting was done, it wasn’t really to ask them if they wanted to participate but to tell them what they would be doing. jaehyun didn’t mind this that much because it was true. he did love kids.

once the managers had left the room, johnny turned in his chair to give jaehyun a scrupulous look.

“dude, why were you spacing out so bad?” mark asked, slouching in his chair as his chin saw in his palm and his elbow rested on the table. to this date, johnny was the only other person who knew about you and his night he had spent with you. johnny nodded at the quick eye contact, understanding immediately.

“dunno, i think i’m just tired. i didn’t sleep much last night.” jaehyun brushed off mark’s question with a shrug and mark sighed at that.

“well, you better get some rest tonight. those kids aren’t going to chill out just because you’re tired.” mark said as he stood, his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats, shooting one last look at jaehyun before leaving the room.

“you know, it’s been a few years but maybe she’s thinking of you too. why not try reaching out?” johnny whispered to him, and jaehyun gave johnny a not-quite-there smile that was really just a grimace.

“nah, it’s fine. she’s probably changed her number since then, and besides, even if she didn’t she definitely hates me now. i know i would.” johnny frowned then as his friend got up and left the room, the big glass door swinging closed softly behind him.

something had changed in jaehyun that night when he came back, it wasn’t a huge, drastic change but johnny noticed it nonetheless. he wasn’t always distracted by his guilty thoughts of you, but on several occasions jaehyun had gotten drunk with him and started talking about you and everything about you that he knew.

by this point johnny felt he knew you just as well as jaehyun had.

and about sixty percent of those occasions, johnny had to console him and reassure him that you probably didn’t hate him but would probably just be upset at him, and that he was sure you’d forgive jaehyun if he explained the situation.

johnny was never confident in that though. five years is a long time to go on thinking about someone you spent one night with.

and, johnny often thought, five years was a long time to dwell on all the anger left from waking up alone from someone you spent one night with.

and although if it was only supposed to be just one night… even johnny knew it was more than that.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

mark was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his hands contained in his pockets but jaehyun couldn’t help the smile that grew at the younger mans energy. there was always something about children that brought out the kid side of the younger members and that was always contagious and within minutes, jaehyun was smiling just as brightly as mark had been.

they were told to wait until given the signal to come out, as all the kids were now sitting in different circles in the room. the four-year-old class wasn’t very large, and they had come to the SM building to take a tour.

in recent years SM had opened its doors to field trips for younger kids, usually it was elementary ages but after some strings were pulled, they allowed the class going in to kindergarten to be included if they would allow them to be part of the youtube series SM had going on of ‘idols with kids’.

this wasn’t the group’s first event with kids, the group was large at this time and they had rotated out and didn’t have to do it often, but it was their turn and it was a nice break, jaehyun thought.

certainly better than another photoshoot.

johnny tapped jaehyun on the shoulder, the signal had been given and the three men entered the room full of energetic children. there were only about twelve of them total, and jaehyun noticed the teachers stood off to the side, two women leaning against the wall with their masks up and covering their face.

jaehyun paid them very little attention as he went to his assigned table to sit down with the kids. he took his place at the circle table and folded his legs underneath him, sitting as the kids were.

the kids grew quiet at the presence of the adult man at their table, and he noticed his table had two girls and two boys. the little girl that sat closest to him had big bright eyes and her little hands brushed her bangs away from her eyes.

he noticed her little pigtails had little fuzzy clips in them that matched her dress and his heart melted at how adorable she was. she seemed to be the boldest of the group as she was the only one to look him in the eyes.

“hi everyone, my name is jaehyun.” he said kindly, trying to make the kids feel at ease.

“hello, mister.” the cute girl with pigtails said and when she spoke, small dimples formed at the corners of her mouth and he was intrigued at how much they looked like his.

“hello, miss.” jaehyun nodded and replied easily and the little girls smile grew as did her dimples. and then a thought visibly appeared across her face and she turned to her other friends at the table.

“it’s rude to not say hi,” her lips were in a pouty frown as she looked at them. she was a bossy little thing, he noticed but her friends immediately chimed in with quiet hello’s. that seemed to make her happy and she nodded dramatically. jaehyun knew the only thing they had to do while they were here was color with them, and talk to them for the camera’s sake, and so he did just that.

the little girl next to him asked him which page he wanted to color first, and he reached forward to slide a piece of paper with the outline of a bunny holding a carrot and then she asked her friends which ones they wanted. he noticed she chose last and his heart melted even more at how utterly sweet the little exchange was.

“what are your names?” he asked the table as a whole, putting on his gentlest smile, which wasn’t hard for him to find. the little boy to his left spoke up this time, starting to get comfortable with jaehyun’s presence.

“my name in jiwon, and he’s seojun… she’s heeyoung, and,” he said pointing out each person one by one dramatically as he finally landed on the little girl who sat beside him. “her name is yeoruem.”

“oh you all have pretty names,” jaehyun commented and the boys seemed to swell with a sense of pride by being told they had nice names from a stranger. he noticed the kids start talking a little bit, but they mostly focused on their coloring. yeoreum sat beside him, a crayon gripped tightly in her hand and her tongue stuck between her lips and she concentrated on her page, she had chosen a big teddy bear and she was coloring it purple.

she was getting a little frustrated he could tell with how she kept huffing and puffing and finally she put her crayon down and put her cheek in her tiny hand dramatically, and the cute pout made jaehyun chuckle softly.

“what’s the matter, yeoreum?” he cooed at her gently.

“i like to stay in the lines and i messed up.”

“well let’s see if we can fix it, hmm?” and he picked up her crayon and offered it to her. she took it in her hand again and he proceeded to point at a small spot, his arms wrapping around her and helping her hand move just right and she took his direction with a grin. when she finally got it she pushed his hand away.

“thank you mister jaehyun, i want to try and do it now myself.” and jaehyun held up his hands in surrender.

“you’re a very independent little girl, yeoreum.” jaehyun commented to her as he went back to coloring on his bunny, picking up an orange crayon to fill in the carrot.

“thank you!” she beamed, not taking her eyes off of her teddy bear. “my mommy says the same thing.”

“your mommy is a very smart lady,” jaehyun replied and she looked up then. her face twisting in an scowl that was too cute to be remotely threatening considering she was four.

“no,” she argued, greatly offended. “my mommy is the smartest lady. and she’s one of my teachers too, she’s right over there.”

and it was in that moment that several things happened simultaneously.

yeoreum pointed at the wall to one of the women jaehyun had barely taken notice of when he walked in. his eyes looked up in the direction that her tiny hand pointed in and as he looked up, the woman turned her face away from him to say something to the other teacher so he couldn’t see her face but at the same time one of the kids from johnny’s table screamed dramatically.

“miss y/n!” the little boy wailed, and jaehyun felt his heart leap to his throat, and his stomach plummeted as if he were on a rollercoaster while he watched as the same lady who had turned away rush forward to see what the little boy needed, but jaehyun couldn’t even focus on that. he felt his world around him slow to a grinding halt, his eyes solely focused on you. on the small parts of your face he could visibly see due to the mask you wore.

but he was unsure how he had missed you when he walked in. yours was the face that he dreamt of, and he was sure his jaw was dropped. his eyes drifted slightly from your face to johnny whose expression probably matched his own, his eyes flickering between you and jaehyun.

jaehyun felt his mouth go dry in the next second as another realization hit him. he whipped his head to look down at the little girl next to him and she was intently focused on where her mom stood at the other table. jaehyun tried three times to swallow before he was successful.

“yeoreum?” he asked, voice shaking slightly.

she tore her eyes from you and looked up to make eye contact with jaehyun. “yes, mister jaehyun?”

“miss y/n is your mother?” he asked, face searching this little girls who, the more he looked, the more he found himself staring back.

“no, she’s my mommy.” she answered smartly.

“ah, yes. she’s your mommy…” he trailed off, eyes flickering back up to see you standing back with the other woman and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him, instead staring at yeoreum who was still looking at him.

“and yeoreum, how – when is your birthday?”

“may first,” she chirped and he dragged his eyes away from you to look down at the little girl and his face drained of all color entirely.

“um… mister jaehyun? you look like you don’t feel so good.” she said worriedly, and he gulped again, trying to calm his nerves. his mental math couldn’t be that wrong, could it? there’s no way, was there? no, those dimples were undeniable evidence.

someone somewhere had pity on him, because right when he felt that he may pass out or throw up or do a combination of both, their manager came out and called the session with the idols to an end, the cameras folding up then and were put away and the other teacher called everyone to come stand with you and her.

yeoreum stood up and patted her dress, and she reached down and pulled on jaehyun’s hand to have him stand up with her.

“c’mon mister jaehyun, i want you to meet my mommy so you can see that she’s the smartest lady in the whole world,” and as jaehyun slowly stood to his feet, yeoreum waved her hand to have him bend down to her level so she could whisper conspiratorially in his ear. “but don’t tell miss jisoo, she may get upset.”

jaehyun could only nod as she pulled him over to the other kids and you, and he braced himself for disaster.

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you had fought tooth and nail with the principal of your center about going to SM. you knew the chances of jaehyun being one of the idols to work with would be slim but you didn’t want to take that chance. however when she had asked you the reason why you were so adamant against going to the entertainment company’s headquarters, you couldn’t very well give her the reason that your child’s clueless father works there. it would open up more questions and you had done well the past five years keeping it under wraps that no one knew who yeoreum’s father was, not even your mother.

you had realized after he had blocked your number of who he was when you did a google search of ‘jaehyun korea entertainment’ to see page after page of his face, and you realized he was a common name in korea. it made a little more sense then as to why he suddenly started ignoring you.

you thought he may have been different based on the hours of conversations you both shared, but since he was a celebrity, you assumed you were just another person on his list of hookups throughout his tour stops.

and so when you saw him walk in with two of his other members, you felt your heart jump. and then when you saw he sat at your daughter’s table your heart immediately sank and you felt your body get hot, the same feeling you felt when you found out you were pregnant.

you stood at the back with your co-teacher, hiding in plain sight. you were thankful that you had made it to the end, the interaction between them going well even if he didn’t know.

he seemed to almost have an instant attachment to her and you couldn’t help the way your heart swooped when he bent around her to help her with her coloring. it was a few moments after that that she noticed yeoreum point her tiny finger in your direction and you almost cursed aloud.

you quickly turned your head to look at jisoo, trying to find any random question to ask her to start a conversation to avoid his eye contact but when you heard one of your students, a little boy named yunho, screaming for you across the room you only allowed yourself three seconds to panic before you crossed the room to see what was the matter.

you briefly made eye contact with the man, you had learned his name was johnny after researching jaehyun’s group, and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. you ignored him after that, understanding that he must have known about you and that somehow both angered and embarrassed you.

“what’s wrong, yunho?” you asked as you crouched next to the crying boy.

“min-minhee,” he hiccupped, big alligator tears falling down his face. “minhee took my crayon and i was still using it!” and you patted the young boy’s head affectionately.

“minhee…” you started, voice slightly scolding and the other boy mentioned was purposefully looking away from you. “is that true?”

minhee turned his head further away from you and you couldn’t help but laugh slightly, “minhee, you know that isn’t nice.” after a few seconds, and another glance up at johnny who was now looking at the table behind you, eyes wide.

minhee finally turned around and gave yunho back his crayon and apologized after you prompted him to do so. crisis averted, you took a deep breath and stood up, purposefully avoiding the table your daughter sat at but when you reached the wall, you felt his eyes on you but instead you noticed how your daughter stared up at him, eyes already full of adoration.

the cameras were put away and jisoo called everyone’s attention. you were focused on the other children gathering up, doing headcounts one by one until you heard a soft, “mommy?” from behind you.

“what is it, baby?” you asked turning around, expecting to see your daughter but instead came face to face with jaehyun who your daughter had in tow.

“this is mister jaehyun, and i wanted him to meet you so i could show him how sma – show him my teacher.” she fumbled over her sentence and you furrowed your brows at her choice of words.

“hello miss y/n,” jaehyun choked out, and you noticed his face was very pale. you wanted to laugh and tell him that it served him right, but you wanted to pretend that you didn’t know him, even though you clearly did.

“hello,” you greeted, overly formal as if to create distance between you two.

“yeoreum… yeoreum tells me her birthday is in may. is that true?” were the first words to tumble out of his mouth. you noticed jisoo had rounded up the kids and started to lead them out of the room.

“yeoreum, sweetheart, go stand with miss jisoo, okay? i’ll be right there.” you said as you looked down, cupping your little girls cheek sweetly and she smiled up at you.

“okay mommy!” she said, running off to walk with the class who was leaving the room.

you felt the presence of two more people walking up and you glanced to see johnny and another man, mark you thought his name was, walk up to stand awkwardly a few feet away. johnny definitely seemed to know, but mark looked clueless as to why they were there.

“is that true?” jaehyun pressed again, and you turned your full attention to him now, ignoring the other two men in your vicinity.

“yes, her birthday is may first.” you replied, voice a little sharp and you saw jaehyun visibly wince at the tone.

jaehyun didn’t even care that mark was here now, listening in. his mind was racing with so many questions and he just wanted to know the answers to them regardless of who was around.

“that’s nine months…” he trailed off then.

“yes, it is.” the same tone didn’t falter.

“i… i… is she mine?” he finally asked then, heart bracing for the answer but then you laughed and it was a cold laugh, much different from the happy ones he recalled in his dreams, and he recoiled slightly.

“you’re not on the birth certificate,” your lips were flat, turning pale from the pressure of keeping your anger at bay.

“that’s not – no, please, y/n. is she mine?” he pressed, his hands ready to beg you for an answer.

“is she your daughter? yes.” you answered him in an angry whisper. “but she’s not yours, she’s mine.” and jaehyun flinched again at how harsh your words were.

jaehyun was silent for a long moment and you scoffed, turning away from him then to go meet up with your class.

“have you told anyone?” he asked, and he wasn’t sure why he even asked that question because he knew if you had, it would have made headlines. you froze then, and he could have sworn you were visibly shaking. you turned and glared at him, such an angry look he didn’t know it was possible to feel so small from just a single expression.

“no, jaehyun, i haven’t.” you spat, your anger making your skin flush in how hard you tried to control your voice and your temper. “so don’t worry, you can go back to living your golden life without any responsibilities. i won’t be asking you for money, i won’t be coming back here, and i won’t be going to the press. but not for your sake, oh no, i couldn’t give a fuck. only for hers.” you turned and walked away, your hand stilling on the doorknob when you heard him call to you.

“no, wait! y/n that’s – that’s not what i meant, please. can – can i meet her? spend time with her?” you didn’t turn around, your hand on the knob tightening its grip for a moment, you lifted your head to stare at the ceiling and you sighed, the anger draining from you and just leaving you exhausted.

“you just did, and i think that was enough, don’t you? i don’t want you to decide the next morning that she’s not worth your time.”

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the door closed behind you as you left and all three men were stunned into silence at what had transpired. jaehyun had known you’d hate him if you saw him again, he knew that, he really did. he would have never pushed you to spend time with him after the way everything went down but now it was different.

he was a father now, or well, he had been a father the past four years and had no clue but now he was aware and he couldn’t just not try and be one. this had changed his world, how could he go about pretending that this hadn’t happened?

“dude… i am so confused right now. what the actual hell just happened?” mark finally spoke up, eyes darting between the two men standing with him. johnny didn’t look away from jaehyun to answer his question, nothing but extreme concern for his friend who looked like he had his whole world shaken up.

well, johnny thought almost comically, he did.

“i, um…” jaehyun started, eyes still not drifting away from the door you had just left from. “when we were on tours four years ago, um… johnny and i went to dinner, i don’t know if you remember? we had asked you if you wanted to go too, but you were already going with haechan and taeil.” jaehyun finally broke his trance he had on the door and turned to make eye contact with mark, who still sported the look of someone utterly bewildered. mark answered with a nod, not daring to open his mouth so he could listen to the rest of what jaehyun had to say.

“well, we went. just us two. and she was our waitress and she was, she is, so beautiful and she was flirting with me and so when she put her number on our receipt, johnny told me to go for it and… and i did. we talked for hours, and – and one thing led to another, and fuck.” jaehyun breathed out and then let out a humorless laugh at his word choice. he ran his hand through his hair roughly, the newly dyed blonde locks, tugging on them as he did so. “i left. i mean, i couldn’t have actually stayed with her, we had a show in another city and we had to leave and so i left. i tried to keep talking to her but… i stopped.”

mark blew out a hard breath at jaehyun’s explanation. “well, did you let her know? that you had to leave and that’s why?”

jaehyun shook his head, and johnny spoke up for him then. “our manager saw and lost it, he couldn’t reply to her because he was scared since it had been so long and then we left and our manager had his number changed when we got back.”

“did you still have her number though?” mark questioned, eyebrows coming together. jaehyun nodded hesitantly.

“dude, that’s so fucked. you should have explained to her then, she would have understood.” jaehyun hung his head, he was used to johnny consoling him in the assumption that he’d never have to see you again. he wasn’t used to his mistakes being so openly berated.

“poor y/n,” mark said then, turning to look at the door you had left out of. “having to raise a baby on her own like that, i don’t blame her for being as angry as she was. and then for you to ask –.”

“god, mark, yes. i know. i know i fucked up. but i have a kid… i have a daughter. i don’t want to be one of those dads, i don’t…” he trailed off, the way he felt sick dissipating, slowly being replaced with the dread of having his daughter grow up and have to tell people her dad was just absent when he knew about her now.

“then don’t.” johnny’s reply was simple. both jaehyun and mark turned to look at him. johnny shrugged as if it were easy.

“but she doesn’t –.” jaehyun went to say but johnny shook his head, the look he gave him shutting him up instantly.

“then don’t, jaehyun. you’re an adult. you made a mistake but it’s not eighteen years too late to try and fix it, just five. if chen can do this and end up just fine, you have just the same amount of chance that he does. you don’t wanna be a deadbeat dad? then don’t. easy as that. y/n isn’t going to like it at first but, she’ll come around if. you. make. an. effort.” mark was smiling at johnny’s answer, nodding along as he spoke and jaehyun stared open mouthed at him.

“you think it’ll work?”

“it doesn’t hurt to try,” mark chimed in. “plus, i saw the way she was watching you earlier, i kinda thought for a second she was going to be one of those weird stalkers but this makes so much more sense now.”

“how can i do this though? i don’t have her number or anything,” jaehyun asked, and he wanted so badly to get to know yeoreum, and to get to know you again. he wanted to see if things were that different, or if it was the years of anger building up. he couldn’t blame you at all for the things you said and for the way you reacted. he can imagine he’d do the same.

“am i gonna have to do everything myself?” johnny joked and jaehyun gave him a confused look.

“she works at the school that was just here. we have the principals contact information. therefore, we have her information. and if nothing else, we know where she works. you show up, you make a genuine effort, and you keep making an effort until she knows you’re serious. and you keep trying because that’s your daughter. you literally can’t deny her, she looks exactly like you.” jaehyun nodded, absorbing all the information that johnny had readily available in his brain. he hoped it was because he was an outsider looking in in this situation and not that jaehyun was just that dumb. maybe it was a bit of both.

“guys? come on, we have another schedule to meet in forty-five minutes,” their manager called, his head momentarily visible from the doorway. the three men made their way to exit, jaehyun’s mind reeling with what he was going to do and how he was going to do.

he had a daughter.

he was a father.

that thought alone was enough to make a grin slowly grow on his face.

“also,” mark spoke up suddenly, turning around to look at his friends. “do i need to have a talk with everyone about the importance of condoms?”

johnny snorted out a laugh, and jaehyun groaned loudly.

“yeah… i think i’m gonna at least text the dreamies. maybe ‘wrap it before you tap it’ or something like that. god, can you imagine jisung with a child?” mark’s face looked horrified, but his joke effectively broke the tense feeling jaehyun had held for the past twenty minutes and johnny laughed, clapping mark on the shoulder as he and jaehyun exited the door.

“jisung is an adult, mark. he’s a grown ass man. they don’t need ‘the talk’.”

“yes they do, they can be forty and they’re still going to be children to me!” mark yelled as he followed them out.

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jaehyun couldn’t remember the last time he had butterflies this bad since maybe his debut. his heart hadn’t stopped racing since johnny handed him a slip of paper discreetly at practice later that night, and when jaehyun unfolded the paper he saw an address and a phone number scrawled in small letters.

“maybe go to her work, instead of calling first.” johnny had whispered to him rather conspicuously in the far corner of the room.

“wouldn’t it be better to give her a heads up though? i don’t want to ruin this before i even really get the chance to get to know yeoreum.” jaehyun said, the desperation for this to work out evident on his face. he wasn’t sure when he had ever wanted something so badly, but his thoughts had been consumed by this little girl that he had no idea existed until twelve hours ago.

“sure, it might seem a little creepy but this way she can physically see you’re serious and won’t block you immediately out of spite,” johnny shrugged at his friend. “i know i'd block you.”

jaehyun gave him a deadpan look, “that’s very comforting, thanks.”

a sudden pair of arms throwing themselves around jaehyun’s shoulders made his eyes grow wide but seeing johnny unconcerned made him relax a little.

“so who is blocking jaehyun hyung immediately?” haechan asked from over jaehyun’s shoulder.

jaehyun fished for a response, trying to think of an answer and johnny beat him to it with the most basic of answers.

“your mom.” johnny said, a wide grin growing on his face at the offended look on haechan’s face that jaehyun couldn’t see.

“you better not be texting my mom!” haechan argued, voice rising an octave directly in jaehyun’s ear making the man wince sharply. “she’s married and i don’t want a step-dad this late in my life.”

johnny pushed away from the wall and jaehyun was thankful for johnny’s distraction, because as he walked away haechan moved to follow him, arguing with the taller man even if it started out as a joke.

this gave jaehyun the time to stare down at the folded piece of paper that had been crumpled in his hand, he memorized the number on it like the paper would disintegrate if he didn’t and as he moved on to the address he attempted to formulate a plan.

the plan may have been half-assed in hindsight, jaehyun realized as he stood out in front of the pre-school you worked at, staying out of sight of any passerby who may recognize him. he was sure he wouldn’t be noticed that easily as his hood was up, mask secured over his nose but he was so nervous of someone saying something to ruin his one shot at getting you to listen to him.

he distracted himself with scrolling through his phone, flipping between different social medias while he waited, and his heart skipped a beat when he heard your voice calling a goodbye to your coworkers as you exited the building.

“mommy, can we go get some ice cream? i got a green smiley on my report today from miss jisoo, you know i was good today!” he heard yeoreum ask cutely, and you turned the corner to walk in his direction and he watched as you looked down at her. you held her hand and your smile was so gentle he couldn’t help but get lost in it for a moment.

you were going to respond but you noticed his presence at that moment, looking up and staring harshly at him, he could see you bristle. you didn’t immediately recognize him, jaehyun noticed with the way you tugged yeoreum to stand behind you and jaehyun raised his hands in surrender, tugging his mask down so you could see his face and you released a breath, relaxing instantly.

“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum cheered from behind you, bouncing forward with her hands holding on to the straps of her little yellow backpack. jaehyun crouched to be level with her, his elbows resting on his knees and his dimpled smile was an exact replica of hers.

“hi yeoreum, i heard you say you were good today in school. if your mommy is okay with it, do you think i get you that ice cream you wanted?” jaehyun asked the little girl, but his eyes were looking up at you and your mouth was pressed in a firm line. yeoreum whirled on the spot to look up at you.

“oh please, mommy? mister jaehyun will pay for it so it’s free!” yeoreum pleaded, adding information that wasn’t exactly given yet and jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh at that detail. you clearly debated on it for a moment, but the hopeful look on your daughters face was already giving you an answer.

“sure, sweetie.” you said softly, eyes cutting up to glance at jaehyun, trying to figure out what he was getting at. yeoreum pulled you by the hand, and then she boldly grabbed jaehyun’s hand as well, leading the way to the convenience store you often made stops to on the way home from school.

you didn’t say a word as you walked, jaehyun keeping a conversation going with yeoreum, asking her about the things in school she liked and it went on like that for a few minutes until you entered the store and you greeted the elderly woman who ran it politely. yeoreum darted to the ice cream section and you finally had a moment without her present.

“what are you trying to do here, jaehyun?” you asked coldly, and his smile never wavered, his mood too high to allow it to come down.

“i’m trying to get to know my daughter that i didn’t know existed until yesterday.” he answered you, his voice hushed as to keep the store owner from eavesdropping, but you didn’t detect any obvious lies in his statement.

“i told you –.” you started, and he cut you off.

“i know what you said, believe me. i heard you loud and clear, but please y/n,” and your eyes widened at the sincerity in his voice, he was seconds away from begging dramatically. “please just give me one chance. i want to be in her life, i want to be there for her.”

yeoreum skipped over, holding three ice cream bars in her arms.

“look mommy, i got your favorite. and mister jaehyun, i got you my favorite. you’ll like it because it’s the best!” she said with such confidence that jaehyun chuckled at her as she walked right up to the counter.

“well you’re in luck because that just so happens to be my favorite, too.” jaehyun offered and the girl beamed at him.

“mommy likes this flavor,” she pointed to the only one that was different as the elderly woman scanned the three items. she motioned for him to come to her level, and when he bent down she cupped her hands cutely to whisper in jaehyun’s ear. “and don’t tell her but it’s really yucky.”

the more time jaehyun spent around this little girl the more he felt himself getting wrapped around her finger. he brought a finger to his lips conspiratorially and he turned to make eye contact with you and your eyebrows raised.

“hey, what’s with the secrets?” you frowned in confusion, head tilting slightly and at the motion jaehyun felt his heart skip a beat. he recalled the same exact motion five years ago, and he had to swallow hard to pull himself out of the memory.

“oh, nothing. yeoreum just told me a funny joke.” he answered, giving yeoreum a wink and she giggled at the secret that they now had, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she laughed.

“hmmm,” you responded, accepting the ice cream bars and thanking the woman as you exited. the park was only a short distance away and that’s where you headed, sitting down on a bench as you opened yeoreum’s ice cream and she dove in immediately.

you allowed them to talk easily, and you felt your resolve slowly chipping away with every smile they shared with each other. you recalled one of the many conversations you had had with friends, one most recently being your coworker and friend jisoo. she had suggested for the umpteenth time that you should reach out to the father and give him the option to be in yeoreum’s life.

“i don’t want him to get tired of her, it would be devastating for her, and me too.” you had argued then and jisoo’s look was unamused.

“you haven’t even given him the chance, you have no clue if he’d even do that. you can’t make that assumption, time changes people.”

you were realizing she was right as you watched her giggle over him dripping ice cream on his shoes, yeoreum commenting how it’s not that hard to not be messy and jaehyun laughed at her disappointed sigh.

you had made up your mind by then, the ice cream finished and you noticed the time was getting a little late, knowing you’d have to get her ready for bed.

“come on, ‘reum. we gotta get ready for bed soon.” you said softly, interrupting their conversation and yeoreum nodded, hopping off of the bench she sat on with jaehyun. she walked over to stand beside you but she turned to jaehyun.

“mister jaehyun, will i see you again?” she asked and her voice was so hopeful that jaehyun looked to you for an answer.

“one chance,” you mouthed to him seriously, holding up one finger to emphasize your point over yeoreum’s head and jaehyun’s eyes shone with relief as he made eye contact with yeoreum.

“i’d love to, i’ll come see you anytime.” jaehyun nodded and yeoreum clapped excitedly, turning to look at you as she did so and you couldn’t help the answering smile that crossed your face. you took her small hand in yours and you began to walk in the direction of your home and she paused, turning around and waving enthusiastically goodbye to jaehyun who was still seated on the wooden park bench.

“see you soon, mister jaehyun!” she called and then she was pulling you away; jaehyun watching you both leave and he felt at peace knowing this plan went so much better than he could have ever hoped it would.

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you had just put yeoruem to sleep in her little princess bed, she had talked nonstop the entire way home, all through dinner, and then during her bath until you finally got her to sleep, about mister jaehyun.

the idea of her getting to know him brought on two strong emotions and they teetered back and forth in your mind, an eerily well-balanced scale.

on one hand, you were excited for her to get to know her father, she deserved to have both parents who loved her.

on the other hand, you were terrified of how this would play out fully. would he leave once people found out? would he pretend she didn’t exist?

your thoughts ran in circles over and over, and you didn’t get anywhere productive. the only thing you had settled on was that until you knew for sure where this would go, you would make sure jaehyun wouldn’t mention a word of being her dad.

you didn’t want to have to pick up the pieces of her small heart if he shattered it.

your phone dinged and it pulled you out of your thoughts, you paused the show you had barely been paying attention to so you could focus.

9:31 pm unknown: hello… do you have plans tomorrow?

9:32 pm you: depends on who’s asking...?

9:33 pm unknown: oh, yeah my bad. this is jaehyun, johnny got me your number from your boss

9:34 pm you: ok… that’s not weird at all… but no. no plans besides work and yeoruem. why?

9:35 pm he who must not be named 💀:  how do you feel about coming over? i can cook for you both, or maybe order pizza. whatever yeoreum wants to eat haha

9:37 pm you: she’s not picky, but i guess i won’t mind. will your members mind?

9:38 pm he who must not be named 💀: ah, right. well, see i’m telling them tomorrow so they won’t really have a choice.

9:40 pm you: … don’t make this weird for us, jaehyun.

9:42 pm he who must not be named 💀: i’m not! i won’t, i’ll send someone for you tomorrow at 6?

9:47 pm you: we can get there, just give me the address and i’ll see you then

9:48 pm he who must not be named 💀: [current location]

you audibly sighed, staring at the phone showing the address, you clicked it to see that he didn’t live too far from you and you just shook your head, you were going to leave it at that, but your thought from earlier hit you again and you typed a response.

9:55 pm you: i have a request for you

10:01 pm he who must not be named 💀: ask

10:02 pm you: i’m not going to keep you from getting to know her, because it makes her happy and she deserves that. but i don’t want you to mention anything to her about you being her dad

10:05 pm he who must not be named 💀: and that’s because…?

10:06 pm you: i just wanna be sure. i’d rather you be some cool man she spent time with if you decide differently

10:07 pm he who must not be named 💀: okay and when you see that i’m not gonna ghost my own daughter, is there a statute of limitations on this or what?

10:08 pm you: i’ll let you know

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jaehyun paced back and forth in the living room, he hadn’t heard from you since you assured him you’d be coming by at 6 like agreed. he had went a little overboard on the pizza, considering there were now five different boxes on the counter and he may have went on a shopping spree at a small children’s toy store.

now all eight of his members sat in different spots in the too large living room as he walked back and forth, stopping to check on his phone and then once he saw there wasn’t a notification from you, he went back to his path he had made.

“you’re gonna wear a hole through the floor,” johnny deadpanned and jaehyun ignored him.

“hyung?” it was haechan this time trying to get jaehyun to stop moving and jaehyun did, looking up to see what the youngest wanted.

“this isn’t your first time meeting her, right?” haechan seemed genuinely confused.

“no, this is the second, technically third time now.” he answered, forgetting about his phone in his pocket for a moment.

“okay, then why are you freaking out?” haechan asked, resting his chin in his palm.

“well…” jaehyun was at a brief loss for words. “y/n is unsure about me being around her already, so i guess i’m worried she’s going to… stop.”

“stop what?” taeyong asked from the other side of the room and jaehyun turned on the spot to face him.

“stop letting me see her, stop responding to me, just, stop altogether.” jaehyun looked crestfallen as he waved his hands around but a snort from his left made him glare at yuta.

“what? like you did to her?” yuta smirked at the stressed man, and jaehyun threw his arms up, throwing his head back as he stared at the ceiling for a long moment.

he hadn’t expected this kind of reaction at all when he called a group meeting in the living room hours earlier; he had told mark and johnny he planned to tell everyone because he had wanted you and yeoreum to come to the house and they had only nodded and helped him gather everyone. mark and johnny purposely sat on the couch in the corner of the room so they could watch it all unfold.

jaehyun had started the whole thing by clearing his throat three times before he even opened his mouth.

“i-,” he began but yuta narrowed his eyes at him and twisted his lips for a second.

“you got some girl pregnant, didn’t you?” his question was so blunt it took everyone off guard, mark almost falling out of his seat on the couch entirely. haechan, who sat on the arm of yuta’s chair, shoved his shoulder roughly. jaehyun, however, was stunned into silence, mouth agape and yuta laughed at his reaction.

“jaehyun, he’s joking. now why did you call us all here?” taeyong said, shooting a stern look at yuta before turning his full attention to the man who stood in the center of the room. keeping the peace like he always did, but jaehyun was so much more nervous now after yuta’s comment, regardless of how correct it was.

“okay, so,” jaehyun began and went through the entire story again. something he had kept to himself all these years, and he was finally letting everyone in on his tiny, but impactful, moment of freedom he had with you.

“and so when we filmed our content for the youtube segment, the one with kids, you know?” and when everyone nodded, all but three mouths were hanging in stunned silence. “this little girl was at my table, and she was adorable and smart and highly independent but like, some kids are like that. until she pointed out her mother to me, and –.”

jungwoo gasped dramatically, leaning so far forward in his chair as he listened to jaehyun that he was practically on the floor. “no fucking way!”

“yes, way.” mark answered for him, and jaehyun continued.

“y/n, yeah. y/n was her mother, and yeoreum was born exactly nine months after, and yeah. i… i have a daughter that i had no clue existed but i want to be her dad, i haven’t wanted something this bad since we debuted, and… yeah.”

“okay… okay…” taeyong repeated, seemingly in shock as he processed everything that was just said.

“okay?” jaehyun asked, wanting someone to say something.

“okay.” taeyong replied, making eye contact with him. “well, we’re not going to let you be a shitty father.”

“anymore.” haechan said under his breath and yuta snickered with him.

“i had no clue!” jaehyun argued in defense of himself.

“how do you even know she’s actually yours?” taeil asked, his posture was relaxed in his chair, recovering from the shock of the news more quickly than the others had.

“she -.” he started but doyoung butted in then.

“how do you know she’s not using you as a way to get money? she could have slept with someone else.” doyoung seemed even less convinced than taeil was.

“oh no, wait til you see her,” mark said from his spot in the room. “he can’t deny her even if he tried.”

“what? i won’t believe it until i see the test results.” doyoung said, and taeil nodded.

“she hasn’t asked me for anything,” jaehyun argued, feeling a little defensive over you then.

“yet.” taeil murmured, and johnny chose then to speak up.

“you weren’t there in the room, neither of you. she didn’t want anything to do with jaehyun, and she very, very clearly stated that she didn’t even want him around her.”

“and she asked me to refrain from even mentioning that i was her dad.” jaehyun tacked on, and taeil didn’t seem convinced nor did doyoung. silence stretched on for a moment.

“so when do we get to meet yeoreum?” haechan asked then, and jaehyun checked his watch.

“in about three hours,” he replied and everyone jumped as if they had been startled.

“what?!” came at him from all directions of the room.

“nothing in here is childproof!” taeyong exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

“she’s five, not two, she’s not going to go stick her finger in light sockets,” mark chuckled and taeyong relaxed slightly.

“she’s four, but yeah, same thing applies,” johnny corrected him and then silence fell over the room again.

“i will say, i can’t blame y/n,” yuta spoke up then, his eyes trained on the floor for a long moment. “if i were her, i wouldn’t have even given you the option. she’s a lot more forgiving than i would be if you knocked me up, ghosted me and then suddenly by a coincidence showed up again.”

“well that’s because you’re a scorpio,” jungwoo said. “and it feels kinda like fate to me.”

“that’s exactly what i said!” mark laughed, pointing at jungwoo animatedly.

and the conversation carried on like that up until he started pacing, jaehyun had been grateful that they all, well almost all, took it in stride and were supportive. but the jabs from yuta were making him even more anxious, and no matter how many times taeyong glared at yuta and told him to shut up, he couldn’t relax.

and then his phone buzzed in his hand.

6:15 pm pizza hut: um, sorry we’re a bit late, the train was delayed but uh… security guy won’t let us in

“shit,” jaehyun whispered, and he was halfway towards the door when your next text came through.

6:16 pm pizza hut: and it’s raining, so we can go home it’s not a big deal

his panic he felt while pacing came back full force and taeyong called to him.

“what’s going on?”

“security guard won’t let her in,” jaehyun rambled quickly.

“that’s all?” he replied, and taeyong pulled out his phone, pressed a few buttons on the screen and had his phone to his ear in seconds.

“hi, mr. choi? yes, can you please escort our guests to the elevators. yes, we were expecting her. no, don’t leave them out in the rain any longer. yes… thank you. have a goodnight.”

taeyong hung up the phone, and gestured to the door, “she’s in the elevator on their way up.”

jaehyun exhaled deeply, for the first time since he woke up that morning. and while he could breathe easily, the entire room held their breath at the sound of a gentle knock against the door.

jaehyun all but lunged at the door and opened it wide. the other eight men in the living room didn’t move a muscle.

“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum squealed excitedly when she saw him filling the entrance and their smiles were exact replicas of each other and jaehyun gestured you both inside.

“yeoreum, shoes baby.” you said softly, and the members had yet to see any faces, but smiles broke out on their faces as they heard a quick, “right! sorry mommy!”

jaehyun led you both out of the foyer and into the living room and you froze when you saw eight men staring at you both when you entered the room. you had prepared for this, expecting it to be awkward but being this… intense wasn’t exactly how you pictured it.  

yeoreum stepped in between you and jaehyun and you looked down to see her bow to the room.

“hello, my name is yeoreum and i’m four years old.” and you peeked up to see the intense stares break out into wide grins.

yeoreum stood up straight and then tugged on your pants.

“mommy, you said it’s rude to not introduce yourself to people who you don’t know.” she said it so seriously, but you and several others in the room chuckled at her respect for manners. at least she paid attention to you when you spoke.

you didn’t bow as yeoreum had, simply dipping your head as you introduced yourself.

“happy?” you said to yeoreum, poking her in the nose and she giggled in response. you heard faint gasps from deeper in the room but you ignored it as your daughter stared into the room and the men must have realized that her comment applied to them as well.

the first one to cross the room was a face you faintly recognized. he knelt down to be on her level and his smile was gentle.

“hi yeoreum, i’m mister jaehyun’s friend. my name is taeil.” and yeoreum nodded, and she smiled at every one who introduced themselves to her and you. she recognized johnny and even gave mark a high five. the last one was haechan, and he was the most energetic of all to meet her.

“hi!” he chirped to her, and she parroted back to him the same exact way, and he continued, his voice filled with a joking kind of pride. “my name is haechan, and i’m the coolest one here.”

“is that why your hair is blue?” yeoreum asked, tilting her head to the side cutely.

“yep, only the coolest have blue hair.” he replied, shaking his head playfully and yeoreum’s laugh filled the room again.

“also, do you wanna see all the cool stuff mister jaehyun got you?” haechan asked, and finally gestured to the couch that held different plushies and toys that the older lady at the shop had suggested for kids her age. yeoreum stared at all the toys then turned around to stare up at jaehyun.

“all of that is mine?” and even you were in shock and the sheer amount of toys piled on the couch.

“yep, all yours.” jaehyun replied, crouching down to be on the same level as yeoreum and haechan.

“but that’s… so much.” she whispered loudly, peeking again at all the toys.

“if you don’t like them all that’s okay, i just wanted to get you something,” his smile was gentle and reassuring. she looked at you for permission and when you nodded at her, she went to the couch and looked at all the plushies. she looked at them, and then at everyone in the room, then back at the toys staring intently.

and one by one, she pulled a different stuffed animal from the pile and handed it to each man in the room. she started by giving haechan a blue teddy bear, and continued on until every grown man was holding a small soft plushie, and she beamed with happiness.

you knew they couldn’t say no and jaehyun could see their wariness melting with each toy she gave. and even though he knew he probably had no right to feel it, he felt a sense of pride in her generosity and he knew she could have only learned that from you. he was the last one to receive a toy and it was a fluffy orange cat.

“thank you, yeoreum. that’s very sweet of you.” he told her sincerely and she blinked at him as if it weren’t something out of the ordinary.

“there’s a lot to share,” she replied and then she remembered something and it lit up her entire face, her voice raising in her excitement. “mommy said you got pizza!”

“yep,” he answered her question that wasn’t a question. “i didn’t know which kind you liked so you have a lot of choices.”

yeoreum picked the same pizza to eat that jaehyun had, which didn’t go unnoticed by everyone in the room as he was the only one to actually like pineapple on pizza. she had made herself at home easily, not missing a beat to pull half of the men into the living room to play with her and the toys jaehyun had gotten for her.

you had been there for a total of thirty minutes before you had been made to feel somewhat welcome. you enjoyed watching the members spend time with yeoreum, as she didn’t have many men in her life to really associate with, and the boys in her class didn’t really count.

you had to bite back a smile at the conversation you had overhead moments before.

“yeoreum is a pretty name, it’s unique too.” mark said, sitting cross-legged where she had instructed him to sit.

“thank you, mommy said she did it so it would be easy because my english name is summer.” yeoreum replied somewhat distractedly in english, causing all eyes to blink slowly at the sudden change in language.

“but she was born in may?” jaehyun looked at you, and you shrugged.

“i was on drugs and in pain, i at least had the right idea.” which caused a few laughs to echo around the room.

after that, you seemed to be fairly content with just observing. you leaned against the kitchen counter, chewing slowly on a piece of pizza as you watched her try to win a tickle fight with mark and succeeding with the way his laughter didn’t come out as forced.

you didn’t speak much with the other members, mostly enjoying being a presence in the room, that is until you felt a body move close to your side and you turned to face the new person, remembering his name was doyoung. when he didn’t say anything to you, you turned away and went back to watching how the tickle fight was absolutely being lost by mark then.

“i have reservations about this,” doyoung said to you then, his voice hardly above a whisper.

you turned again to face him but he looked forward, eyes trained on the guys sitting around enjoying the little girls antics. realizing he wasn’t going to face you for this conversation you went back to your previous position, this time bringing the pizza to your mouth again.

“and?” you asked him, voice matching his tone and doyoung shifted forward to rest his forearms against the counter. he waited until your mouth was full of pizza before he spoke again.

“and jaehyun’s so excited about this, he went on and on about it and he doesn’t even know if she’s actually his.” doyoung’s blunt words made you defensive, even though you had expected something like this, it still made you react, but doyoung continued before you could swallow.

“i think he needs to get a dna test before he gets too attached.” doyoung said, finally turning to face you and you narrowed your eyes at him as he did so.

“what? you think i’m lying?” you said through gritted teeth, but doyoung’s stance didn’t change.

“i’m not going to judge you, i don’t know anything about you. i’m just trying to protect one of my best friends. especially if you decide to rip this whole ‘being a father’ thing out from under him.”

“exactly, you don’t know anything about me.” you said shortly, your temper’s fuse quickly reaching its end. you pushed yourself away from the counter then before you continued. “and there’s nothing to protect him from, i don’t want anything from him. he tracked me down after i told him to leave me alone. he asked to see her, not me. we will be just as we were before he made his grand appearance, should he decide the father life isn’t for him.”

doyoung searched your face while you spoke, but you abruptly changed the conversation when you asked him where the bathroom was. doyoung gestured down the hall and watched as you left, when the shadows in the hall swallowed you he turned his attention back to watch the scene unfold.

haechan and mark were getting to be children again as they played some sort of mock game of house with yeoreum, using the plushies she had gifted them.

jaehyun was sitting next to her, his back against the couch as she made him in charge of holding the rest of the plushies, doyoung heard her mention that he was the house and so he had to be really, really still.

“where’s your dad?” haechan asked, his voice exaggeratingly deep for his character his bear was playing.

“i don’t have one,” yeoreum said, and she moved her plushie away from haechan’s but every man in the room froze. doyoung’s eyes darted to jaehyun’s face to judge his face, but he couldn’t quite read it.

“wh-what do you mean, yeo?” mark asked using his little lion to carry on the game for her.

“mommy said daddy is a really busy man,” she said matter-of-factly, she didn’t notice how all the eyes in the room were trained on her, and how the air seemed to still in preparation for her answer. “she said he’s a busy business man who flies all over the world and she said that a lot of daddies and mommies do that and that it’s okay!”

she was still happy as she spoke, still involved in her game of house she had roped them into playing with her.

“it really is okay,” mark said softly, forgetting his role for a moment.

“yep! it’s super okay because my mommy is really strong and she got so strong so she could take care of me all by herself.” yeoreum’s tiny body puffed up in all the pride a four year old could muster.

“but don’t you miss your dad?” haechan’s bear asked yeoreum’s little white fluffy bear.

“well yeah, all the other kids dads come and pick them up from school but mommy says that just because my daddy has a lot of stuff he has to do first, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.” and then, for the first time, yeoreum’s voice became a bit quieter. “i don’t know my daddy, but i hope mommy’s right.”  

doyoung’s eyes had danced back and forth between her and jaehyun, noticing the more she spoke, the more jaehyun’s face seemed to fall and it wasn’t long before doyoung though he saw the man tearing up.

“of course your mommy’s right, ‘reum,” jaehyun said softly behind her. she twisted around in her spot on the floor, looking up at him and she tilted her head at him when she saw his tears spill over, confused on why he was so sad. she shuffled forward to get closer to him and she frowned, bringing her arms to wrap around his neck tightly and jaehyun felt the tears hit him harder and he didn’t even care that everyone else in the room was witnessing this. his arms wrapped tightly around her little body, and he used his palm to try and wipe away some of the tears from his cheek.

“mommy said it’s okay to cry, and that hugs are a good bandaid,” yeoreum said, voice taking a knowing tone.

jaehyun nodded against her head, his eyes drifting to the hallway where he could see you standing there. your expression was unreadable to him, but your lips were pursed tightly.

 “your mommy is right,” he repeated again, pulling her small hands away from his face then. “about the hugs and that your daddy was really busy but he definitely loves you.”

“do you know him?” she asked, pulling away from his neck to look at him earnestly, and jaehyun’s eyes crinkled at the edges, pulling away from your form in the hallway to look at his daughter again.

“i do, yeah,” jaheyun answered, “and he missed you so much.”

“can you tell him i miss him too? can you tell him that he can come pick me up from school?” she said excitedly and you chose that moment to interrupt. you couldn’t be sure where the rest of the conversation was going, you didn’t know if jaehyun would keep his word about not saying he was her dad and you could see her getting her hopes up too high, and you knew you had to be the bad guy.

“yeoruem, baby. it’s time we go home now, we have school in the morning.” you called softly, walking over to your little girl and she pouted up at you, but she didn’t argue, she just slowly got to her feet, hugging her teddy bear tightly to her chest.

“say thank you, they were very nice to play with you,” you nudged her softly and she did as she was told, genuinely happy to have been able to play with her new friends. you both started walking to the door and she turned suddenly, running to hug jaehyun once more before she left.

you saw she had whispered something to him as she pulled away and you saw jaehyun break out into a smile again.

“i will,” he said to her and with a happy nod yeoreum was back with you again.

with yeoreum’s shoes finally on, you both exited the door and were halfway to the elevator when you heard a door close and footsteps thumping towards you. you were both surprised and… not at all surprised to see jaehyun behind you, a new gleam in his eye as he tugged on his hood and put a mask into place over his nose.

“i would feel more comfortable if i took you home since it’s late.” he said nonchalantly. “i can drive us, if you want.”

“i don’t have a car seat for yeoreum,” you replied and jaehyun shrugged easily. “walking you home it is then.”

you were going to protest but yeoreum had already put her stuffed animal in your hand before grabbing your other one and one of jaehyun’s, tugging you both towards the elevator.

she had started chatting away about something you couldn’t even pay attention to, too entirely focused on the way jaehyun’s hand enveloped hers, your eyes trailing from his hand to his face and you weren’t sure what it was about it. maybe it was all the moments pulled together, primarily the past hour alone, but you felt an unmistakable skip of your heartbeat at the way he smiled down at your excited little girl.

you were too busy gazing up at jaehyun to even noticed the eight heads poking out of the doorway almost comically as they watched you three enter the elevator, being led by a headstrong four year old.

“they make a cute little family,” jungwoo mentioned, only pulling his head inside once he heard the elevator doors close; the members immediately talking animatedly about the new niece they seemed to automatically claim as their own.

no one noticed doyoung walking to his room, the tiny cup that yeoreum had used in his hand.

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it took all of three minutes into the walk home for yeoreum to yawn loudly and rub her eyes sleepily.

“did you get tired from playing with everyone?” you asked her and she nodded, all the cheerful excitement ebbing away from her slowly. you went to pick her up to carry her the rest of the way but jaehyun stopped you, eyes asking permission before he made a move and after a brief hesitation, you nodded to him with a smile.

“i got you, ‘reum, come here,” he said soothingly, picking her up and holding her close. she instantly laid her head down on his shoulder and you snorted at how quickly she closed her eyes. you cooed at how sweet she was, and jaehyun visibly glowed at how she seemed to relax with him instantly.

“you know you don’t have to do all of this,” you said to him after a few moments of yeoreum’s slow breathing. and jaehyun sighed deeply.

“look i know you think i’m this really shitty person who just ditched you, and i know that that’s how you must have felt but it wasn’t my intention. my manager saw our messages, you know. and even though I was still an adult then, we didn’t have nearly as much freedom as we do now. he yelled at me for an hour about being reckless with my career and all that. even though it doesn’t change anything, i didn’t do any of it on purpose or maliciously. and i’m sorry you had to do this alone.” he said, looking down at you the entire time he had been talking, wanting to see your face through his shortened explanation.

“it was really hard, at first, and i’ve been angry for awhile.” you said, voice soft and vulnerable after you thought a moment before deciding to give him honesty. “i had no clue what to tell any of my friends, and when i googled you i almost threw up, but i think that was from the pregnancy and not the news of you being famous. it made sense then to me what all had happened, but i couldn’t tell my parents the truth and so i had to say i didn’t know who the dad was. mortifying, really. my parents still haven’t spoken to me since then. and i love yeoreum more than anything, but i really… i think i hated you this whole time.” you don’t make eye contact as you confess to him a snippet of what had happened, a glimpse into how you felt.

jaehyun was stunned at all he had learned about you, he knew you probably had hated him, and he was right on that. he was horrified to learn that you really, truly had been alone through all of this. he didn’t know why but he had assumed, since he had learned of this at least, you would have had your parents to help support you, and it made his stomach turn knowing it was the opposite.

“but i don’t hate you now,” you admitted softly, looking ahead at the crosswalk sign, waiting for it to give you the okay to cross.

“oh? one day was all it took?” jaehyun asked a bit hopefully with a playful smile, his heart leaping in his chest at the statement, and he couldn’t quite place his finger on why it made him so excited to hear those words. you didn’t respond right away only rolling your eyes, and pulling a set of keys from your pocket and jaehyun realized you must be close to your place.

“but don’t get too excited, the statute has only been bumped up, not removed entirely,” you teased, and you unlocked the door that sat in the wall surrounding your house, entering the front yard that came with your house. it was small, but jaehyun noticed it was just enough for the two of you to live in and it seemed cozy.

you closed the door behind you, it automatically locking and you led the way to the front door of the house, unlocking it and kicking off your shoes. jaehyun shuffled nervously a bit, not knowing what he needed to do but toed off his shoes anyway just to be courteous.

“would you like to tuck her in?” you asked him after switching on a light in the room, and jaehyun blinked as his eyes adjusted. “if you don’t want to, that’s okay, i can.” and you reached for yeoreum but jaehyun tightened his hold on the sleeping girl.

“i can do it,” he stressed and you grinned, holding up your hands in surrender.

“okay then, ‘mister jaehyun’,” you joked, motioning for him to follow you down the hall into the room he could only assume was yeoreum’s if the little moon nightlight glowing and the soft peach paint on the wall were anything to go by.

he noticed she didn’t have an overabundance of toys, maybe a handful of plushies on her bed but he realized it was because she had a little table in the corner stacked with coloring books, crayons and markers. he could see her wanting to be an artist when she grew up, she had told him that already. as he was taking in the room, you had already folded back her blankets and you were waiting for him expectantly.

he very gently tucked yeoreum in after taking off her shoes and gave her the plushie he had gifted her and she cuddled into it immediately. it caused his heart to ache looking at her, realizing he had missed so many things. jaehyun followed you out of her room and you closed her door until it was just a crack.

“um…” jaehyun went to ask, not knowing how to really phrase the question he wanted.

“are you thirsty?” you asked him instead as you headed into your kitchen and he hovered in the entrance.

“not really, thank you, but i was wondering, if you’d be okay with it…” he trailed off, and your eyes darted to see him looking somewhat nervous.

“with what?”

“do you… maybe have pictures you could show me? or videos? i just know i’ve missed a lot and if you were okay with it, i’d like to see the moments i wasn’t there for.” your heart softened, as did your smile.

“yeah, i think i can do that for you.”

so jaehyun stayed with you until late that night, sitting at the kitchen table as you showed him pictures and videos of yeoreum. moments like her first steps, and her first words, which you were pouting when you told him wasn’t “mama”, but instead was “no”. he got to experience your laughter as yeoreum had brought a frog inside the house, and her subsequent scream as it jumped out of her hand then chased her. he got to see pictures of her and he felt like he could have been there.

should have been there.

and as he flipped through picture after picture, he noticed that his heart picked up in speed each time he came across a picture of you in it. he watched as you spoke about each picture, the excitement in the nostalgia as you flipped through each one and you explained to him what was going on.

he felt like he was back in your apartment five years ago, he felt at peace with you here.

he missed all of this, and he was going to make sure he wouldn’t miss anything else.

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New Tweet notifications for NCT 127

NCT 127 @NCTsmtown_127 [idols with kids] episode 11 with JOHNNY, JAEHYUN, and MARK

🖍️😺🍑🦁🖍️

#NCT127 #NCT127_IDOLSWITHKIDS #IDOLSWITHKIDS

@lovej43 replied to NCTsmtown_127

i can’t with jaehyun smiling at that little girl like that :(

@127valentines replied to lovej43

right??? she looks a lot like him too, so cute

@markinmiami replied to NCTsmtown_127

mark accidentally breaking his crayon ㅠㅠ the kid gave him a mean look

@bananasoutforjohn replied to NCTsmtown_127

dude looked FLABBERGASTED when the kid started crying

@myloveforjae replied to @127valentines

no ur right tho, she resembles him a lot more than just the dimples 🤨

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you knew that sm would post the video to their youtube channel, but you didn’t realize how anxious reading the comments would make you.

you weren’t aware that the video had posted until jisoo showed you that yeoreum was trending on twitter because of her interactions with jaehyun, and then you went to youtube to read the comments there and every time you read one that mentioned their resemblance it made your stomach flip uncomfortably.

you had a little under a month to prepare for that moment and yet, it still surprised you. you were just pleased that the overall theme for reactions was how cute your daughter was and that made your heart rest just a bit easier.

while reading the comments on your phone, your eyes instantly darted to the text notification that popped up.

3:43 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: did you see they posted the video? everyone is commenting about how cute ‘reum is

3:44 pm you: yeah, and they’re also saying how much you look alike…

3:46 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: well, she’s my daughter so i’d hope so

3:47 pm you: i don’t think you get what i mean

3:48 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: you mean that she also gets her looks from you? i agree

your eyebrows rose at that comment, he had been mildly flirtatious for the past week but now it was becoming blatantly obvious.

3:50 pm you: i mean yes, but that wasn’t what i meant

3:51 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: if it’s not that, then enlighten me

3:52 pm you: aren’t you concerned people will figure it out?

3:54 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: i don’t think they’ll be able to figure it out from just a twenty minute video on youtube

3:55 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: besides, they’d probably doubt it considering how beautiful you are

you simultaneously blushed at his very obvious flirting and sighed at his nonchalance. you were growing accustomed to jaehyun’s presence in your life, and you were finding yourself looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him. it made you feel as if you three were a family but the overwhelming dark cloud of the public finding out loomed over you and shadowed the fluttery feeling you felt in your chest when you talked to him.

you didn’t want to let this get to you but it was turning into somewhat of a fear for you, and it wasn’t really that people would find out.

it was the aftermath; the most negative version being the source of your fear.

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jaehyun stared at his phone waiting for a response from you a bit longer than he should have, but when he felt a shadow hovering to his left he quickly locked his phone. his shoulders instantly relaxed when he saw it was doyoung, but the look on doyoung’s face made jaehyun instantly concerned.

doyoung refused eye contact with him, shifting uncomfortably as he leaned against the mirrored wall of the practice room. everyone else was sat in various spots on around the room and although jaehyun didn’t mind doyoung deciding to spend his break with him, his awkward behavior made jaehyun tense.

“i’ve been putting off talking to you for a week now.” doyoung said to the ground, his arms crossing over his chest.

“what about?”

“i…” doyoung started then stopped, he waited a few seconds then began again. “look, just remember i did it to protect you, you know, just in case.”

he was purposefully being vague and jaehyun pushed off the wall, turning his body to really face doyoung. “what did you do?”

“it’s – i – when y/n came over the first time, even though you were convinced, i wasn’t. so… i had a dna test done.” doyoung’s response made jaehyun’s skin grow hot, he wasn’t why sure anger was the first emotion that bubbled up first but it came on strong enough to surprise even him.

“why would you do that?” he said from between gritted teeth. the idea that yeoreum might not be his never crossed his mind, he had been so sure from the moment he saw you near her.

he just knew.

“you didn’t know, you were just going off of y/n’s word alone. i wanted to give you proof.”

“no, you wanted to rub it in my face that she had lied. you wanted to be right.” jaehyun couldn’t hear how his voice was raising, he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears.

“you would have went your whole life possibly raising someone else’s kid if i hadn’t had the test done!” doyoung was defensive now, and he couldn’t understand why jaehyun would have just blindly believed you like he did.

“i wouldn’t have cared either way!” jaehyun hadn’t realized he had gotten closer to doyoung until a hand came to push against his chest, pulling him back and away from him.

“keep it down unless you want the whole building to know your business,” johnny said lowly to jaehyun, eyes darting to the choreographer across the room, who seemed to be mostly unaware of the situation since he had headphones on.

“he went behind my back and had a dna test done, without asking me first!” jaehyun argued back, angry eyes not leaving the apologetic ones of doyoung.

“if it makes you feel better, she’s yours.” doyoung said, guilt apparent in his face even if he was trying to maintain his stance that he had done nothing wrong.

“i knew that already!” jaehyun actually yelled that time, and he went to take a step forward – to do what he wasn’t sure but johnny’s palm held him firmly in place.

his phone choosing that moment to vibrate, pulling him away from the moment; he had an incoming call from you. he took a moment to shoot doyoung a seething glare, then took a calming breath before turning away to answer.

“hi,” he breathed, his anger slowly dissipating.

“hello,” you replied, but your voice was a bit strained and he picked up on it right away.

“everything okay?” he questioned instantly.

“yeah,” you said and he heard you pull away to speak to someone else before coming back to the phone. “my friend and coworker, jisoo? she was there that day with me, she got injured at work and i’m the only one able to take her to the hospital. will you…” another quick word to someone else. “i need you to be there to pick up yeoreum from school, please.”

jaehyun’s mind was racing thinking of his schedule for the day, he had practice for another few hours, and he told you as such.

“i know you’re busy, but this is something that comes with being a parent. you make adjustments.” you said, and your voice was panicked as you heard someone call for you, and he heard you address the doctor.

“please jae, she has a key on her backpack. you get to pick her up from school and be her dad. this is what you asked for… and what she has always wanted.”

“i’ll be there.” he answered, his mind made up before you even had started to speak. “what time does she get out for school?”

“5, thank you so much, jae. i really appreciate it.” and when someone called your name again you sounded rushed once more. “coming! bye jae, i’ll see you later.”

you hung up the phone, and even though jaehyun was still feeling angry towards doyoung, he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face at the opportunity you gave him.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

jaehyun was thankful that the lady at the front counter seemed to be too old to stay in tune with media as she didn’t even bat an eyelash when he gave his name to her and told her that he was there to pick up yeoreum. he refrained from saying the term ‘my daughter’ aloud but your rules couldn’t stop him from thinking it.

when the lady called over the system to tell the teacher that it was time for yeoreum to go home, jaehyun leaned casually against the wall while he waited.

he wasn’t thinking about how he had lied to get out of the last few hours of practice. he wasn’t thinking about the argument yet to be resolved with doyoung.

he wasn’t thinking about the other parents coming in and seeing him, recognizing him.

all he could think about how long the minutes seemed too stretch on for yeoreum to be released from her class… and he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t also thinking about you. specifically, the last time he saw you, which was three days before.

you had invited him over on sunday night, stating that yeoreum had asked about him and if she could one day make cookies for mister jaehyun. you had told him it was so out of the blue for her to ask that and when you had questioned her on it, her simple response was ‘if cookies makes santa come, maybe it will work for mister jaehyun too’.

you didn’t have the heart to tell her no, which led to the phone call. jaehyun was there in twenty minutes, knocking on the door to which you answered with flour splattered across your face, with a giggling four-year-old right behind you sporting flour in her hair. jaehyun’s grin was painful for his cheeks as he took in the scene, and he couldn’t help but laugh with you both before even saying hello.

“are you supposed to be wearing the ingredients?” jaehyun asked as he stepped inside your house, following you both as you made your way into the kitchen.

“mommy started it!” and you feigned a gasp, a floured hand on your chest.

“i did not!” and she giggled once more, waving her tiny hands for jaehyun to bend down so she could whisper in his ear. jaehyun’s dimples were deep as he listened to her and your thoughts straying to how handsome he was running through your mind before you even registered. jaehyun turned his head to nod excitedly with yeoreum and you narrowed your eyes at them both.

“you better have told him how you threw first,” you warned playfully.

“oh she did,” jaehyun agreed, moving slightly to the left and it didn’t click that he was suspiciously close to the bag of flour. “she also said we should be on a team.”

“wha – oh don’t you dare!” but it was too late, as jaehyun had already pinched some flour and flicked it at you, and as you stood there with a shocked look on your face and flour now decorating your hair, jaehyun and yeoreum shared a giggly high five. you crossed your arms childishly and stomped your foot, turning away from them both dramatically, taking a page directly out of your daughter’s book.

“oh no, ‘reum… we’ve made your mommy upset.” jaehyun theatrically whispered and you had to bite back a laugh.

“i know what will cheer her up!” yeoreum whispered back, and they were both suspiciously silent and then you heard feet shuffling behind you; yeoreum popping up in front of you suddenly, and then there were not one, but two sets of arms wrapping around you in a tight squeeze, yeoreum’s head resting on your stomach and you froze at the feeling of jaehyun’s cheek resting on top of your head.

you felt the heat rise up your neck and the butterflies were back; you couldn’t tell if this was part of the joke or if he meant the hug the way it felt to you but you quickly pushed that train of thought to the side, giving yourself two more seconds in the embrace of them both before you broke the moment by clearing your throat.

“so, did we still want to make mister jaehyun cookies?” yeoreum blinked up at you cutely and nodded her head, you ran your hand through her hair gently, still very aware of jaehyun at your back and you tried to ignore it but failed.

jaehyun noticed it took only five minutes of trying to cook for yeoreum to get bored and ask if she can go color instead, so it left only you and him in the kitchen, and the first few minutes were spent trying to fill the awkward silence with comments and small laughter.

you had just started to mix up the ingredients when you heard him move, his feet shuffling just a bit.

jaehyun leaned a little closer into your space, feeling his body heat on your back; his hand braced against the counter to the left of your hip and you weren’t sure if your heart raced or slowed, but all you knew was that you were hyper aware of his presence as you were minutes before when he had hugged you.

“do you need help with that?” he asked lowly, his voice near your ear and you could almost feel his breath on your cheek. you turned your head and he was as close to you as you had thought he was, and it made you take a slight step away. you knew he could see the rising blush on your cheeks and a smirk made its way to his lips.

“no, i got it,” you said, but then realized that his close proximity allowed you to get a little revenge. “i am capable, thank you very much.” it was your turn to flick flour at his face, and he only blinked at you in shock, his expression comical and you wished you could take a picture of it.

a small gasp at the entrance of the kitchen made you jump away from each other as if you had been caught doing something wrong, and you both had quickly fumbled with an excuse, neither of which had made any sense but you had seemingly gotten away with it.

the memory brought a smile to his face and that look was the first thing yeoreum saw as she walked through the door to see him waiting for her.

“mister jaehyun!” she exclaimed, running up to him and hugging him around his legs and god, he loved this little girl. when she let go, he bent down and went in for a proper hug, picking her up in the process and they left the building.

yeoreum spoke to him animatedly, telling him about her favorite part of her day and then she asked him about his favorite part, his answer being an immediate, “getting to see you, of course.” which only made her beam at him in a childlike sense of pride.

“what about mommy?” she asked innocently, and he blinked.

“well, of course you and her both are my favorite part.” yeoreum’s loud giggle made him smile but she shook her head.

“no, i mean where’s mommy?” and it dawned on him that he had told on himself to a very observant child.

“oh, she had to take her friend to the doctor. she isn’t your teacher, too?” jaehyun asked, playing it off in a way he thought was smooth enough. the question sparking another conversation about how she gets to change classrooms like she’s in real school but not a whole lot just sometimes and it’s definitely really fun, and jaehyun could only nod as she chattered away, finally arriving at the front gate to your home and yeoreum wiggled her way out of his arms so she could get her key.

“i wanna do it, mommy lets me!” and jaehyun nodded as he let her lead the way, really just letting himself enjoy being a parent solo, and after hours of dinner, bath, and then bed, he realized it was fairly exhausting and he told himself to remind you when you got home how impressive he thought you were.

jaehyun sat on the edge of her bed, she had requested him to tuck her in and he had but then she had started crying and he was on the verge of panicking.

“’reum, what’s the matter baby?” he said, taking a tip he got from you and running his hand through her hair to try and soothe her, she wasn’t hysterical but she clutched the plushie that he had gotten her tightly, big tears rolling down her cheeks as her bottom lip quivered.

“mommy always sings me a song and kisses me goodnight every night… when is she coming home?” she sniffed, and jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. the last text update he had gotten was an hour ago when you had said that jisoo was going back for x-rays and that it shouldn’t be too much longer.

“she’ll be here soon but i can do that, too.” he offered her gently and her eyes looked a little less sad at his offer. “what song does she sing?”

“i don’t know the name,” her lip wobbled again and fresh tears sprung in her eyes.

“that’s okay,” he assured her soothingly, “can you hum it for me?”

yeoreum sniffed twice before humming the tune of a song jaehyun knew well, and it made a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. as she hummed, he did the same right along with her until he started to sing softly to her, his hand continuing the motions from before, gently moving through her hair.

“so whenever you ask me again, how i feel… please remember…” and yeoreum wasn’t humming anymore, her small voice drifting away as she watched jaehyun, completely entranced by his voice, her young mind in awe at how he knew the song her mommy would sing to her.

“my answer if you,” jaehyun continued to sing, his finger tapping on her nose gently which finally earned him a small laugh. a sound he missed, and while he was glad to be present for even the times she was upset, he preferred her happy and smiling.

yeoreum didn’t say anything for a long second, and then in a small and unsure voice asked, “mister jaehyun?”

“yes, miss yeoreum?”

“if… if my daddy doesn’t ever come back from his business trips, if he’s still too busy for me…” jaehyun’s heart broke at the mention of that, his smile slowly disappearing from his face. “do you think you could be my daddy instead?”

“oh yeoreum…” he started and he saw a bit of panic welling up in her eyes, and she scrambled to sit up.

“i’m really good, i promise! mommy says so and santa does too, i get presents every year.” she pleaded, her eyebrows so furrowed they were nearly touching, and jaehyun’s eyes softened.

“yeoreum, sweetheart. i am y-.”

“”’reum, i’m home.” jaehyun nearly jumped at the sound of your voice, his head whipping around to find you staring at him in the doorway. he couldn’t quite place the emotion there; it wasn’t necessarily anger but you didn’t seem happy in the slightest.

“mommy!” yeoreum called, her tears forgotten at the sight of you in her room. you walked over to kneel at the edge of her bed, motioning for her to lay down again and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

“did you have fun with mister jaehyun?” you asked her, brushing her hair back away from her face. you heard everything said, and the feeling that you were letting her down sat heavy on your chest.

“i did, we had lots of fun,” she replied, finally letting out a long overdue yawn – the worry of you not being home the main thing that kept her awake.

“tell him goodnight, okay?”

“goodnight, mister jaehyun.” she murmured sleepily and you stood up then, motioning for jaehyun to follow you as you closed her door behind you. you moved away from the door, heading into the kitchen and jaehyun couldn’t help the feeling that he was in trouble somehow.

“i thought we had a deal,” you finally said, turning to face him as you leaned against the kitchen counter.

“what?” jaehyun was a little confused, he was trying to figure out where this conversation was going before it even started.

“the statute of limitations weren’t up yet, i still don’t want you to tell her you’re her father.” your voice was stiff, and you didn’t make eye contact with him as you spoke.

“i wasn’t going to…”

“i heard everything, jae. she already loves you so much, and if you decide to walk out it’s going to wreck her and i’ll be left to try and fix what you broke.”

jaehyun wasn’t sure why, but he felt the telltale sign of his anger rising. he felt it on the back of his neck, and the way his teeth ground together.

“i thought i made myself clear that i wasn’t going anywhere.” his voice wasn’t curt, but you still heard the tone.

“you did, but that’s when things are relatively easy. who’s to say-?” and he cut you off.

“say about what? what could anyone possibly say to make me leave?”

“me, when i say i think it’s best you kept your distance for a little while. you’ve made things complicated for me.” and to say jaehyun was shocked speechless would be an understatement.

“how?” was his only response, he was biting on the inside of his cheek to keep from getting really upset.

“we were fine,” you started, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “we were fine on our own, and then you waltzed in our lives and shook everything up and now i don’t know which way is up and which way is down. i think you’re confusing yeoreum… and me and… and i don’t know how to feel about any of this.”

“this was fate and you know it.” and your answering scoff only spurned him on. “i don’t believe in coincidences and neither did you last i checked. you moved here so she could learn about her heritage, and of the millions of people in korea you still manage to run into me, she still found me.”

“yes… well we had our life just fine on our own – just me and yeoreum. what right-.”

“i’m her father!” his voice raised just enough to make you finally look at him, to see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke. “that’s what right. you’ve given me this… this incredible gift, something i didn’t even know i needed until a month ago and i refuse to let you take it away from me. i thought you and i were getting closer, but if you want to continue to hate me that’s fine, but i want to be in my daughter’s life and you can’t keep me from doing that.”

his eyes were glassy, as if he was keeping himself from crying over the situation as a whole and his breathing was heavy. you broke the eye contact you held with him, instead focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.

his response was answer enough for you.

answer for this entire thing you had been fighting off for the past month while you got to know each other again, while you got to spend time together as a family. you saw yeoreum smiling and laughing, jaehyun usually the cause of it. their dimples coming out in the exact same manner, and it was like within the month you felt your heart warm up in a way it hadn’t in years at the idea of it, the idea of him.

you realized you were happier around him too, and although you really were trying to protect yeoreum, you realized in that moment that you were also trying to protect yourself.

and that wasn’t fair to yeoreum, jaehyun… or you.

“i don’t.” you said softly, finally giving him a response he found cryptic.

“what?”

“i don’t hate you.” you clarified for him and he inhaled deeply.

“then why are you acting as if i’m an asshole when i’ve done nothing but try and prove to you that i’m not… that i care about you both.” his hands were thrown out at his sides in exasperation, finally realizing that it wasn’t anger he was feeling but fear.

“because it won’t just be her heart you’ll break if you decide to leave.” you gnawed at your lip, unsure of how he was going to respond to this.

“what do you…” he asked and his voice was softer now, taking a small step towards you.

“you’ll be breaking mine, too.” you said, and you finally made eye contact with him again and he could see it there.

the fear.

of rejection, of being hurt, of being left alone after becoming so quickly used to having another person be there with you. he understood then.

he closed the gap in a few steps, and he stood in front of you, his hands hesitating before he allowed them to rest on your arms.

“i know… i know this hasn’t been easy for you. that you’ve had terrible things said to you because i wasn’t there, and i can’t guarantee that when people find out, more things won’t be said. but the difference is that i’m here now. i’m here and i’m not going anywhere, and…” he trailed off for a moment, eyes searching yours before he finally continued. “i know there were no expectations five years ago, but i have them now. i know you feel this too, i know you do. and if i have to convince you every day that i’m not going anywhere, then i will.”

you didn’t realize you had started to cry until your tears started to burn your eyes and you wiped them away with a watery laugh.

“oh come on, i can’t have both my girls crying in one night.” and jaehyun swore his heart stopped when you looked up at him like that.

“then don’t say sweet things to make me cry.” you said, tone a little pouty.

“well if that’s what it takes,” jaehyun shrugged easily.

“yeah but,” your sentence was then interrupted by jaehyun’s phone vibrating incessantly in his pocket. he dug it out, ready to ignore the phone call but the name that popped up made him hit accept instead. you didn’t hear any of the other side of the conversation, only jaehyun’s.

“oh, really?” followed by a, “yes, that’s true.” and then, “not to be disrespectful, but i don’t care.” his eyes then jumping back to yours when he said, “then we’ll figure it out, this is more important to me.” before saying, “okay, i’ll see you tomorrow.” and finally hung up.

“what was that about?” you asked tilting your head to the side, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“that… was everyone finding out.” he said easily and your eyebrows shot up over widened eyes, “and as you heard me say – i don’t care. we’ll figure it out one way or another, all i know is that you, yeoreum… this family is far more impor – mmph!” and you didn’t give him the chance to finish his sentence because you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him.

the action familiar to you, recalling the way jaehyun had done the same all those years ago. jaehyun wasn’t one to miss an opportunity and so he kissed you back, his arms wrapping around you tightly and pulling you closer to him. the moment was one he had been wanting for weeks now, ever since he sat with you at the table and you showed him all the pictures.

and he didn’t waste a second, kissing you until you were both breathless and you finally pulled away.

“i’m sorry, i just…” you trailed off, finally seeing that happiness in his eyes again.

“don’t be, because i’m about to do it again.” he said with a smirk before closing the distance once more, this kiss much sweeter than the first. his palm flat against the small of your back, his other hand resting on your hip and everything about that moment with him felt right.

his lips, his warmth, his smile that you felt against your lips that fully interrupted the kiss.

“what is it?” you huffed playfully, and his smile turned into a small laugh.

“i just remembered something.” he said, his dimples appearing then.

“and that is…?”

“try again, huh?” he joked before planting a quick kiss to your lips, muffling your groan.

“it was the only thing that would stop her from crying as a baby.” you defended weakly.

“that’s my girl.” he said, nothing but pride in his voice, and you smacked him gently on the chest.

“our girl.” you corrected him easily, and the smile that lit up his face was breathtaking.

“our girl.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

[b side: epilogue]

a year or so later…

a family outing is what jaehyun had called it when he woke up one morning asking if you wanted to go to the gardens that had a christmas lights display and you didn’t even get the chance to decide because yeoreum overheard as she stood at your doorway and was immediately excited.

“that settles that then,” you teased.

“as if you ever had a choice,” he said to you with a wink, calling a good morning to the sleepy girl who jumped into bed and cuddled with you both.

your little family had a lazy day in bed before you all finally rolled out of it to get ready for the lights, making sure that yeoreum – who was adamant that she didn’t need help picking out clothes anymore – bundled herself up in her puffy jacket, you pocketing her gloves that she had forgotten. jaehyun purposefully matched jackets with her, and you sighed knowing you had to do the same.

“we look like a little marshmallow family,” you commented as you walked through the gardens, the lights reflecting off of your face.

“yes but a cute one,” jaehyun retorted, teasing being his way of flirting and something you noticed never slacked off even after you had officially started dating him.

you hadn’t realized you had walked ahead of them and then you noticed neither of them were right behind you, you turned around to see jaehyun smiling brightly as he kneeled to whisper suspiciously to yeoreum, something that had been their thing ever since the beginning.

“really?!” yeoreum gasped aloud, eyes pleading with him to not be joking. you narrowed your eyes at them, desperately hoping jaehyun wasn’t telling her they would get the hamster she had been begging for. when jaehyun nodded in answer to her question, her entire body radiated with excitement and then his eyes pointedly looked from her to you a few times and yeoreum giggled.

she turned on her heel and skipped over to you, motioning for you to bend down so she could whisper in your ear – letting you in on the secret. as she whispered, your eyes widened slightly, and they softened as they easily found his.

you could feel yours slowly starting to tear up and you held them at bay for as long as you could. instead of saying anything aloud, you kept with the spirit of their game, their thing they shared, you whispered to yeoreum. you figured she’d skip back over to jaehyun to give him your response but instead she jumped up and down, turning to face jaehyun.

“she said yes!” she exclaimed loudly with her hands cupping around her mouth, squealing with enthusiasm. looking at jaehyun’s soft smile, eyes full of love for you and for the little girl you shared, the answer was obvious.

as if you could have possibly said no.

#gimmehyuck #masterlist #nct127 masterlist #nct 127 #nct 127 au #nct #nct 127 fic #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun au #jaehyun fic #jaehyun x yn #jaehyun x you #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #i wrote out a bit of my daddy issues with this one lmao

[taesanrot]

[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused note. sorry this took literally so fucking long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3

you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.

up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.

the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.

you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.

the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.

flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.

you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.

the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.

taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.

...

"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.

...

after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.

you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.

late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.

you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.

the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.

tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e

pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.

sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.

the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.

all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.

it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.

why don't i just text him?

whats the worst that could happen?

it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.

[1:53 a.m.]

y/n: taesnjsnnnnn

y/n: i miss you

y/n: i'm soryry

y/n: can i swee yuo? please

...

taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.

taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.

"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.

"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."

taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.

the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.

his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.

his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.

was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.

10 minutes ago.

he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.

i miss you.

taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.

somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.

taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.

[2:08 a.m.]

han taesan: hey

han taesan: where are you?

...

from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.

what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.

you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.

you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.

walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.

eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.

your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.

your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.

you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.

[2:09 a.m.]

y/n: yunjins place. in source complex

taesan: oh

taesan: what room

y/n: 204

taesan: im 3 floors up

taesan: in 511

y/n: can i come up

taesan: yeah of course

while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.

...

mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.

whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.

rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.

"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.

...

stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.

closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.

you were seeing taesan again, finally.

you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.

...

standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.

what exactly did you want from this?

what did you want from him?

if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.

your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.

"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.

even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.

you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.

"come in."

you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.

"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.

you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.

"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.

"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.

the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.

your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.

you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.

"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."

taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.

"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.

sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.

"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded

taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.

while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.

"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.

your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.

"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.

your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.

for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.

his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.

opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.

taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.

you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.

you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.

you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.

"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.

you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.

"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.

you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.

"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.

"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.

"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.

taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.

taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.

his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.

you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.

the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.

your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.

"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.

"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.

"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."

"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.

the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.

as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.

[bonus — 10:54 AM]

blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.

"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.

ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.

"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.

"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."

...

taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven

#han taesan #han dongmin #han taesan x reader #taesan fluff #taesan x reader #taesan smut #taesan #bnd fics #bnd smut #bnd imagines #boynextdoor #taesan imagines #taesan boynextdoor #bnd fluff #bnd x reader #boynextdoor x reader

[whyse7vn]

MOVING OUT -

[ot7 x reader]

BFFS 😁💜

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: #NEWYEARNEWHOME

#NEWME 🙌🏼

hobi: don’t want to know don’t care shut up

jin: what now

jimin: sighs

tae: AWOMAN 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

yooongi: …

jk: #newbeginings 🙏🏼

namjoon: ??

jk: i’m moving out guys 😆

like living on my own

me

i am

no joke

real life

living with y/n era OVER

hobi: attention seeker

jin: idk if you can even survive on ur own

y/n: he’s being stupid

ignore him pls

jk: house warming party soon guys!!!!

everyone invited unless ur name starts with a j

yoongi: your name starts with a j

jk: everyone invited unless ur surname starts with a j

yoongi: are you stupid

jin: is this about y/ns new bf lmao

y/n: i brought jaehyun over ONCE and now kooks spiralling

jk: idk who is jaehyun sorry idk who that is or what ur talking about sorry idk a thing

namjoon: sighs

yoongi: lowkey valid

y/n: ????????

yoongi: i mean if we were living together and you brought a rat back home i would loose my mind a bit

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: yoongi

yoongi: just saying

jimin: LMAOOO

y/n: not funny

jimin: just a little bit

tae: i heard jaehyun a world famous cheater

y/n: guys

hobi: look you made her upset

jk: y/ns upset?

jin: yikes

jimin: it’s not even my fault

yoongi just makes me giggle some times

yoongi: 🫰🏼

tae: i’ll hold you bbg sshhh don’t cry

namjoon: ew

y/n: i really really like him ok

so if you all could actually maybe just give him a chance and not be assholes for once i would really appreciate it

hobi: ofc pretty <3

jimin: ok but do you love him

namjoon: jimin

jimin: WHAT sorry i really need to know

jk: DONT ANSWER THAT

jin: woah

jk: i mean you don’t have to answer that haha

i’m still moving out btw

tae: i think you should give up i don’t think she’s gonna tell you to stay

omg like a dog

stay

i wish someone would tell me to stay

“stay 😡”

ok bae i’ll stay

am i ur good boy?

tell me i am

look at me

i stayed here

waiting for you

tell me i’m your good boy tell me please

hobi: bro

tae: sorry got lost in the source

namjoon: you mean the sauce?

tae: yesss mayo!!

@y/n tell me to say

y/n: absolutely not

i can tell you to kys tho

tae: Keep Yourself here and Stay

a win for kim taehyung

y/n: kill yourself

tae: no

heheheh

i’m a bad boy tonight

what you gonna do about it 😝

jimin: oh my god stop talking

tae: she wants me

y/n: she has a boyfriend

tae: never even seen that man in the same room as you

u sure you not making this relationship up

y/n: do i need to send you a fucking sex tape to prove it

tae: i mean…..

if you want lol

y/n: ur gross

tae: you’ve kissed me

y/n: top ten worst moments of my life

tae: WOAHHHHHHH

UMMM

OK NOW YOU’VE CROSSED A LINE

namjoon: enough

both of you

y/n: taes a shit kisser

tae: NO I AM NOT

NAMJOON TELL HER IM

NOT OHMYGOD HOW DARE SHE

namjoon: wydm tell her?

ur acting like i’ve kissed you to know

tae: i’ll kiss you

namjoon: i’m going to block you

tae: I AM NOT A SHIT KISSER

jimin: tae can’t kiss tae can’t kiss

tae: STOP I CAN

hobi: that’s really sad actually

jk: can someone do me a favour

yoongi: no

namjoon: what’s the favour?

yoongi: it’s gonna be something stupid

jk: joon can you buy me a house??

yoongi: shocker!!

tae: guys i’m a great kisser ask all the girls i’ve kissed

jimin: girls?

the only other girl you’ve kissed is jennie

tae: THATS NOT TRUE I NEVER KISSED THAT WOMAN IN MY LIFE

hobi: she didn’t let you kiss her even tho you flew all the way to paris for her??

that’s crazy

jin: maybe she was waiting for marriage

y/n: maybe she was waiting for the police

namjoon: i am not buying you a house are you out of ur mind??

jk: but how i’m i supposed to move out?

namjoon: buy ur own house?

tae: why would she be waiting for the police??????

jin: being seen with you is a crime in itself

don’t even get me started of being seen publicly HOLDING HANDS with you

hobi: right yikes

jimin: what’s the french police number?

y/n: fuck knows

jin: baguette snail croisant

jimin: those are not numbers

hobi: isn’t that racist?

jin: to who?

hobi: the french??

jin: you can be racist to the french???????

hobi: i think idk???

jin: shit you better lock me up then

been oui oui baguette eiffel tower bonejawing my whole life

y/n: bonejaw??????????

tae: jin ur like a mega racist…

hobi: do you like trump be honest

jin: tf is trump

jk: namjoon pls oh pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺

yoongi: can you guys not have 2 conversations at once thanks

tae: just say you can’t keep up

yoongi: just kill yourself

tae: WOAH

namjoon get him!!!!

namjoon: am i a dog??

why do i have to always get someone

i think you guys need to learn how to fight ur own battles

tae: dog

“stay😡😡😡😡”

w-what’s happening to me 😰😭

🧍🏻‍♂️… 🧎🏻‍♂️…. 🐕

arf? 🥺

*head tilt*

jimin: this is why women avoid you

tae: take a leaf out of my book bro

jimin: would genuinely rather die

hobi: /gen /srs

yoongi: /kys

jin: wait so jungkooks moving out but doesn’t have a home to move into

jk: i can always move in with yoongi

yoongi: LOL

jk: or jimin

jimin: wow the weather is great today guys 😆

jk: hobi will have me

hobi: no!

jk: jin joon??

namjoon: give up

jin: are you silly

tae: i could

jk: no thank you ❤️

tae: wtf

y/n: LMAO

tae: what’s wrong with living with me???

jk: u scare me a lot i’m sorry

tae: fucking bitch

jimin: what if y/n moved in with jaehyun then you have the house to urself?

jk: ARE YOU SILLY???

WHY WOULD I WANT THAT

IMG THE THOUGHT OF THAT MAKES ME WANT YO THROW UP

NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN

jimin: woah ok don’t shoot me in the head tf??

thought you wanted this independent life

y/n: i mean i can if that’s what u really want kook

jk: KOOK HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE

my knees just gave out >.<

WAIT NO DONT MOVE IN WITH HIM YOU DONT HAVE TO IM SORRY NO DONT DO THAT

jin: u make me wanna throw up

jk: i love living with you!!! i’m sorry i’m not gonna move out so please don’t move out either living with you has been and IS the best thing that’s ever happened to me please don’t go

hobi: that’s a shinee song

jimin: didn’t she fuck a shinee member LMAO 💀

namjoon: jimin

jimin: sorrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tae: so you can fight her battles for her but fighting mine is an issue????

ok sexism IS real females were onto something with this one

y/n: females??

yoongi: they way you dig urself deeper and deeper into unlikeability is truly insane

tae: my fault feminist yoongi here to get my ass 💀💀💀💀

NO IM SORRY I DIDNt MEAN THAT LMAOO

PLS DONT HURT ME

IDK WHY I SAID THAT

THE DEMONS TOOK OVER FOR A SEC

NO JOKE BLACKED OUT

DONT EVEN REMEMBER SAYING THAT

NAMJOON TELL HIM IT WAS A MISTAKE

JOON

KIM NAMJOON TELL HIM TELL HIM

hobi: tell me tell me tttttell me

yoongi: i’m gonna shoot him

namjoon: understandable

hobi: it’s the love shot

jk: i’m not moving out guys

jin: no shit

y/n: hobi answer my ft >_<

hobi: give me one sec my love!!!!!!!!!!

jimin: woah???

jin: uhhhhhhhh

tae: group ft ❤️!!

y/n: kys!!

tae: why do girls not fuck with the nice guys anymore

hobi blew up a school once

hobi: ??

tae: get off the phone so my gf can call ME

yoongi: i beg you to shut the fuck up

tae: beggar

jimin: that coming from you is actually insane tae!

tae: what

namjoon: so whose hosting games night this week

yoongi: not me

jin: i did it last time

jimin: my place is real messy

hobi: don’t wanna :/

tae: i refuse in protest of tae respect and love in this gc

y/n: me and jk can

since he’s not moving out and all

jk: 😁!!

namjoon: cool

everyone ok with that?

jin: yup

jimin: ok

yoongi: yes

tae: whatever lol

hobi: y/n why don’t you invite jaehyun??

so we can all properly meet him

you’ve met his members right??

he should meet yours no?

yoongi: ?????

tae: ARE YOU SILLY

jin: ur so wrong for that

y/n: ahhhh idk

i mean i have met his members

and i really do want you guys to properly meet him as well…

jimin: somethings going on

jk: haha yeah lol i mean i’ve met him already

he was my friend lol haha not that it matters but that’s ok

did i say was ?? i meant is lol sorry i wouldn’t stop being his friend just cuz he’s dating you that would be silly

but yeah but if you want him to come that’s cool

but he really really really doesn’t need to haha

namjoon: y/n bring your boyfriend

y/n: are you sure???

tae: NO??£:£:££:

jin: yes!!! #drama

jimin: ofc

yoongi: whatever

jk: hahah lol hahah

y/n: ok

hobi: great ☺️!!!

cant wait

jimin: i bet

hobi: ??

jimin: nothing

hobi: y/n answer :p

y/n: okokokokokokokokok

jimin: i’m gonna do some deep diving i’ll talk to you all later

(unfortunately)

(and by force not cuz i like you)

(the talking to you later part not the diving part)

bye

jk: woah didn’t know jimin was a diver

yoongi: ur stupid

@y/n reply to my message

bye

jin: wow guys i’m really exited for games night

gotta stock up on the alcohol

so i guess i’m going too

bye 👋🏻

tae: good i’m going as well

i’ve got to go and punch a wall

jungkook come over

this is srs business

jk: okay ^_^

getting in my car

speak to you all later 💓

hobi: y/n told me to tell you all bye

so bye from her and bye from me

😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼

namjoon: woah

did we

did we just end a conversation normally….

oh my god

wow

guys wow omg

this is the first time this has happened

wow

i’m in shock

this is such a big step for us

i’m so proud

um

wow

what do i even say rn

….

um

yoongi: how about goodbye

blowing up my phone for no reason

namjoon: no ur right i’m sorry

goodbye guys

um

have a good day???

yeah

um wow

yeah have a good day guys i mean it

i honestly and truly mean it

wow

yeah and

yoongi removed namjoon from “BFFS 😁💜”

—

hobi sus

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts × reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon × reader #jin × reader #yoongi > reader #hoseok × reader #jimin × reader #taehyung × reader #jungkook × reader #bts texts #rm × reader #suga x reader #v × reader #hope × reader #hobi x reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[theje0ngs]

JJH | Forget Me Not

“Have you completely forgotten about me?”

PAIRING/CHARACTERS • bodyguard!jaehyun x rich-girl!reader ft. brother!doyoung, brother!gongmyung, kun & johnny appears

GENRE • angst, romance(?), smut, forbidden love!au, secret love!au

WORD COUNT • 15.7k

WARNINGS • 18+ themes, profanities, brief description of the accident, scenes in the hospital, inaccurate representation of hospital procedures (cuz im no med student bro), issues relating to family, betrayal, mentions murder/assassination, protected sex, fingering, handjob/blowjob, slow sex

GELA SAYS • the LONGEST fic i’ve ever written oh my god ?? my original wc goal is probably 5k but i ended up with THAT number lmao ,, btw ! timestamps are important in this story so this is a heads up because you might get confused hehe and this would probably the last fic i’ll be posting for now, as i’m taking a break from writing again. sorry if this took so long lol this isn’t proofread so i apologize for the mistakes and the rushed ending, i badly wanted to end it right away lol

TAGLIST  • @aizzon @queenrachelpink @straykidsftnct @nctevia @dreamycomets @ahgastayzen @rbf-aceu @lookingforangst @yoonohing​

HAPPY READING!

“You ready?” Your father asked, receiving a nod from you and a long sigh as you readied yourself to face a large crowd. “Go get ‘em.”

You gave your father a smile, carefully taking steps on the stairs as the emcee introduced you to the crowd. After years of hard work and training for your father, you have finally secured yourself a spot in one of his many companies. Tonight is one of the most important nights of your life as they introduce you as the new CEO of a media company under Haneul Group of Companies. The one that started inside your father’s old room in a university somewhere in Korea has been vastly growing as the years pass by. Your father, Kim Hyong Chul, stood proud as he watched his only daughter walk up the stage and take the podium.

“A pleasant evening to each and every one in this event. I am very thrilled to be here tonight and excited about the things I will be working on in the following years. Tonight, I introduce myself as the new and the youngest CEO of Haneul’s media company to date.” You started; the crowd gave you a round of applause before letting you proceed. “I returned to the country approximately three years ago. A 23-year-old woman who, at the time, opposed the idea of working under her father’s company. I wanted to be different, I wanted people to think of me as someone who started from the bottom, slowly but surely making her way to the top. Which I did succeed in doing, all thanks to my father for agreeing to my idea. Now I stand in front of you, as a 27-year-old woman, no longer a trainee, an employee, but a CEO.”

As you deliver your speech, outside of the venue, stood your boyfriend. He could only hear your muffled voice from the other side of the door. Your voice alone puts a smile on his face, and it was a good thing that he was standing far enough from his colleagues, if not, he would be too obvious. He had a glimpse of you when someone exited the event hall. You looked so gorgeous and stunning wearing that expensive dress that costs a month of his salary. Gorgeous as ever. He thought.

Despite being satisfied with his current relationship with you, there were days that Jaehyun wished he could take you out on a nice date. Hold your hand in public, kiss you whenever he wants to or do typical sweet things that most couples do. But he can’t. He can, but it would be too risky and would cause a huge scandal.

Because he was your bodyguard, and you were his boss.

As the banquet came to an end, your parents were the first ones to exit while you and your brothers stayed for an interview with the business magazines and newspapers. As the press crowded the three of you and flooded you with questions, Jaehyun’s crew tried their best to stop them from causing a stampede, creating a human barrier. When your eyes met his, you smiled at him slightly. This was the closest he got from you tonight, and he fell in love once again.

“Miss Y/N, in your last interview with us three years ago, you’ve mentioned that you have no time for love because you were too occupied with training. Perhaps your perspective has changed now that you are the CEO; do you have any plans of getting into a relationship?” asked one of the presses, causing you to chuckle.

“You guys really love to gossip about my personal life, especially my love life.” You said, tucking your hair and quickly gazed at Jaehyun. “The answer is still the same. Now that I am the CEO, I have to work much harder, and I don’t think I would ever have the time for love.”

Ouch. That actually hurt, but there was nothing that Jaehyun could do. Even though you’ve been hiding your relationship for years now, and he knew your answers are lies to protect the two of you, he couldn’t help but feel a light pang on his chest every time someone asks you about your relationship status.

Once the interview with the press is over, you and your brothers were escorted back to the secured parking space. Doyoung was on his way to the airport for a personal business in Germany, while Gongmyung was on his way back home. You bid farewell to your brothers, planting kisses on their cheeks and entered the car with your bodyguard, aka – your boyfriend.

After a long day of standing in high heels and a long gown, finally, you got to sit next to Jaehyun in your car. The moment you got inside the car; you planted a kiss on his lips before hopping onto the front seat.

“Missed you.” You murmured.

You could feel him smile during the kiss and plant once more, “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear or see you deliver your speech. I’m sure you did great, like you always do.”

Jaehyun started the engine of the car, following your brother’s vehicle before separating on the main road. There was something about driving along the city that was lit up with bright lights and holding Jaehyun’s hand that calms you down instantly. The quiet road and the soft music coming out of the car’s speaker– everything felt right at this moment. You never wanted it to end.

“You do realize that once we reach the village, you’ll have to hop back to the backseat again, right?” He chuckles, taking your hand as he stops at a red light. “We’re a few minutes away from the village, just let me savor this moment.”

“I know… it just sucks that we have to do this every time. I just wish we could do normal things like a couple; I just wish I could go home without having to hop in front and to the back.”

“Don’t worry, any day now. I’ll face your father and come clean about our relationship. Like we always planned.” He said, “Besides, my days as your driver/bodyguard are about to end as your new driver will be arriving any day now and I’m about to pass my resignation letter.”

“That sucks, but I’m looking forward to what our next chapter’s going to be. By the way, if I’m getting a new driver any day now, how am I supposed to receive my kisses?”

“Like we always did before, sneaking.”

You laughed at his response, adjusting your seat as you focused on your boyfriend driving. How did I get so lucky to have you, Jeong Jaehyun? You thought. This man has been with you for three years, three long years. What started off like Tom and Jerry, always arguing, ending with you two being in love. This man has been with you through your ups and downs despite not being able to express your love for each other loudly and freely. This man is the person you want to spend your whole life with, and soon, once you’re both ready to face your parents, you will find a way to tell them and ask for their blessing.

“I love you so much,” Jaehyun said, stopping at a red light once again as he squeezed your hand to reassure you. He knows what’s going on inside your head, by the looks of it, he knew you were thinking about your relationship. “I hope you’ll always remember that.”

“I won’t ever forget how much you love me, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that.” You replied, “I love you too, Jeong Jaehyun.”

He lifts your hands together and plants a kiss on the back before he steps on the accelerator. No matter how calm downtown is at midnight, you didn’t expect what happened next. Jaehyun’s eyes widened when he saw a car emerging from his left side, probably going over a hundred with beaming lights. Quickly, he stepped on the brakes. Jaehyun’s hand did not let go of yours, and because it was all happening so fast, he could only close his eyes and prepare himself for the worst. The next thing you know, you were feeling your skin rip from the broken windows and another pain from the exploded airbags that hit your body.

“J-Jae,” You weakly called, trying to move your hand in his. “Babe, are you okay?”

“I love you, Y/N…” You heard him say. You tried moving the deflating airbags away from you but failed as you feel an intense pain take over your body.

FOUR YEARS AGO.

They say that you fall in love with three people in your lifetime.

You could still remember the boy you fell in love with when you were young. Your younger self sees him as someone you know you will spend your whole life with. You met your puppy love when you were ten and his name was Qian Kun – your brother’s classmate, friend, and a son of your father’s business partner. He was a year older than you and always made sure to protect you like your brothers. By the time you were fifteen, you confessed your attraction towards him. You confessed that you appreciate the things he did for you, they were the bare minimum, but hell, you appreciate it more than anyone else in the world. At first it was a secret that you tried so hard to hide, but the banquets that his and your family held every other month was Doyoung and Gongmyung’s clue to their quest of investigating your relationship with Kun. Although it was weird for your brother that you were dating his closest friend, Doyoung made sure that you were safe with Kun and that his intentions were pure and genuine and no plans of hurting you.

Dating Kun when you were young felt like you were a Disney princess, and he was your prince charming. He would treat you oh so dearly. Fights and arguments rarely occurred in the span of your relationship. During the banquets and gatherings you’ve attended, most of the people who knew your relationship were certain that the two of you will eventually get married someday.

But soon enough, you realized, life is no fairytale like how they described it in movies.

“Hey, any news about the college applications?” You asked, taking a seat on the sofa next to his study table as you munch on a bowl of popcorn.

“Actually, I have something to tell you…”

“Okay…? You’re making me nervous, what is it?”

You remembered Kun holding your hand that night as he explained why he had to move out of the country for a few years and come back once he’s settled in his father’s business. You remembered staring in his eyes, hoping to find an answer to stop him from leaving you. You remembered suggesting that the two of you should try long distance, but his response was: “You deserve better, more than seeing me on screen.”

By the time Kun left for China, you knew it was the end of your relationship. Kun was your first love, your first heartbreak, your first in everything. And even though you are broken up now, no one can break the bond you’ve established when you were young. Kun was still there for you, just like how you were still there for him. The two of you still have each other’s backs, not as someone who has romantic feelings, but as someone who once loved each other and wants what’s best for each other.

You never dated anyone after Kun, you prioritized the important things in life such as university. That leads you to the second person you fell in love with, the person who completely turned your world upside down. His existence in your life was unexpected, someone, including him, could not believe that he exists in your life. Your relationship brought the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And you met him when you were twenty-three.

At a young age, you returned home in the spring. Flowers were blooming and everything was bright and lovely. A lot has happened since another year was added to your life. Completed a degree with Media Arts, traveled the world alone, met new friends and now you’re returning home after your quick break to celebrate your graduation and the new beginnings. You knew what will greet you once you get home, after all, you were the one who planned and pitched the idea to your father. At the age of 23, you knew that returning back to your family would bring you such a huge change in life.

As your plane arrived from Italy, and you had exited the arrivals area, you saw your brothers holding a signboard with your name on it. It’s been a while since they last saw you when they visited you in Europe to attend your graduation. The two were bickering as the other tells to hold the signage higher, while the other insists that it is already visible from afar. The moment you met them, Gongmyung and Doyoung welcomed you back with open arms. Surrounded by four bodyguards, three of which you were familiar with, you exited the premises of the airport and headed off to the hotel where your relatives are waiting for your arrival. The three bodyguards you knew since you were in high school, but the other one was new, it seems.

His name was Jeong Jaehyun as introduced by the chief, your new personal bodyguard.

When you were young, you did not understand the concept of needing one when you are doing fine alone. Until you learned that coming from a very influential family, your grandfather connected with politics and your father building his own business empire, you had learned that not everyone around you has pure intentions. And as your own grandmother would say: “Trust no one – be it your friends, your lover, your security, maybe even family” after your grandfather was assassinated while playing golf with other politicians.

You found Jaehyun annoying in his first week working for you. Every step, every move, he was there to watch. Dedicated to his work of guarding you as if you were Mona Lisa and someone’s attempting to abduct you. It felt like someone was babysitting you. Sometimes you’d wish you didn’t come from a family like this at all, you were exposed to the dirty politics and business world. There was a random day in your life that you confessed this matter to your grandmother but ended up receiving a long lecture of how ungrateful you sounded.

“Jaemin, would it be okay to stop by a friend’s house for a few minutes before heading off to the headquarters?”

“Uh, I suppose that it is okay–”

“I’m afraid not, ma’am.” Jaehyun cut off the driver next to him, “Your father is expecting your arrival by 13:00.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “Don’t you think I’m not aware of my own schedule? I will be quick; I just have to drop these off at her house.”

“No ma’am.”

“Jaemin, don’t listen to him. Head to Seongbuk-dong, please.”

“That’s out of our way, ma’am.” Jaehyun, once again interrupts.

What felt like the nth time today, you rolled your eyes. “It’ll be quick. I don’t even have to enter her house because I’m only giving her this stupid box– now, Jaemin, listen to me and don’t listen to this jerk.”

Jaemin had no choice but to nod his head and turn right on the next street. After years of staying abroad with pure freedom and without a bodyguard nor a driver, you have forgotten what it’s like to have one again. Though you didn’t have any problems nor encountered one with your previous bodyguard, Jaehyun was different from them and makes you want to rip your hair off out of frustration every time you bicker. You grab your phone out of your bag and informed your brothers that you will be running late for a few minutes to the meeting. You knew your father too well; he wouldn’t get mad if you came in late. Or if he does, it wouldn’t be too long – he cannot stay mad at his unica hija for so long.

By the time you have arrived in front of your friend, Eunha’s house, Jaehyun opened the door for you. Reminding you to be quick as you were in a rush and only have a few minutes before the meeting with your father starts. Your childhood best friend was glad to have you back home after you apologized for taking a few weeks to visit her. As you and Eunha exchange stories, Jaehyun was tapping his feet and kept on checking his wristwatch. Eunha noticed the behavior of your bodyguard and shook her head.

“Your bodyguard has a bit of an attitude, Y/N.” She said, causing you to sigh heavily.

“Yeah, it’s only been a few weeks since he started working for me and he’s getting on my nerves already.” You replied, “I have to go now, Eunha. Father’s waiting for me, let’s catch up again soon with the others.”

You bid her goodbye and walked back to the car with your arms crossed, Jaehyun already had the door open and was waiting for you to hop on, but you refused. “Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re a bit rude?”

“Ma’am, please enter the car.”

“I won’t until you answer me.”

“Yes, I have been told that I am rude several times. Please enter the car, the chief is already looking for us.”

By the time you have arrived at the headquarters, you were just in time. Your father wasn’t even inside the conference room yet. You sat next to your eldest brother, sighing as you scroll through your phone.

“Why the long face?” Gongmyung asked, pushing a glass of juice in front of you. “Something happened?”

“I hate my bodyguard.” You groaned, “He’s rude and somewhat obnoxious. I want to change bodyguards.”

“Y/N, he’s not rude. He acts like that because he used to be part of the president’s security service, he was my bodyguard before you came home. Trust me, he’s a really nice guy to talk to. He just seems rude, but that’s just him doing his job.” Your brother explains nicely, no matter how angry you are, Gongmyung was always there to calm you down in situations like this. “Give it a few more weeks, then if it’s like that ‘till then, I’ll tell father and we’ll switch bodyguards.”

“Fine.”

As the months passed by and your workload for your father’s company arose, the more you found yourself getting annoyed and often short-tempered when it comes to Jaehyun and his attitude. It was petty actually, sometimes you even think that it’s childish that you were acting like that. All because of the stress you’re receiving at work. You and Jaehyun were like Tom and Jerry – always fighting and bickering at each other. You even think that maybe your driver, Jaemin, is annoyed by the fact that the two of you are always on each other’s nerves every morning and every night. Gongmyung’s promise of how he was willing to exchange bodyguards with you was not kept after your father rejected the proposed idea.

By this time, the green leaves of trees have turned to hues of red and orange, with a little mixture of yellow. Your favorite season has come – Autumn. There was something about autumn that you’ve loved since you were a kid. The unique color of leaves, the mellow feeling every time you step outside, something about autumn brings nostalgic memories from the past.

Along with the changes of leaves, comes the changes you’re experiencing at work. You love your father, you really do, but ever since you were a child, he was always pressuring you into something you don’t want or want to take slowly. Like the time you were having a hard time memorizing the multiplication table; you were up all night with him as he tried to help you memorize it in one sitting. You didn’t know the reason why he always did that, you never found out even if you ask your mom or his mom. You assumed that it is because he was also pressured by his own father as well – a classic story in the Kim family.

Your grandfather was a known politician, known for his service and excellence in the government. Your father was supposed to follow the footsteps of his father: study hard, be a politician and serve the people of the country. Except he didn’t. Because he thought it wasn’t what he wanted, he knew he wouldn’t be happy with that field of career, knowing how dirty and dangerous politics can be.

But now that you’re feeling tired and pressured with work, you want to rest. Even just for a while, even just for a day. Just a day where you could spend it in peace without having to hear your father complain about how poorly or how messy your reports were or hear him say ‘you’re training to become a CEO and not a regular employee. Get your shit together.’

Autumn can be gloomy, just like how you woke up today. It was 6 o’ clock and you had no work schedules today. It was unusual for you to wake up this early on a day off because usually you sleep in the night after a long day, trying to regain all the energy you’ve lost after working for five straight days. As gloomy as it can be, you stood up from your bed and thought of coming to the place you’ve loved the most. The place where the four seasons of Korea can be seen beautifully.

“You’re up early.” Your mom says, peeking her head on the door as you brush your hair. “I heard the music, isn’t it your day-off?”

“Yes, but I’m heading out.” You replied.

“Where are you off to? Maybe I can come and spend the day with you.”

“Maybe next time mom, I’d really like to be alone for a while. I just want to gather my thoughts and have a little ‘me’ time.”

Your mother nods her head, understanding and realizing how much you’ve grown. From the clingy 5-year-old girl who’s always calling her mother to the 23-year-old woman in need for an alone time. Once she exited your bedroom, you called Jaehyun and informed him that you were heading out today. No day-offs for bodyguards indeed.

“I will be driving today, Miss Y/N. Jaemin is on leave.” Jaehyun informed you, opening the door and waited for you to hop in before he did. “Where are you headed to?”

“Gapyeong.”

“Do you have any business in Gapyeong, ma’am?”

“I just- just please drive me there. No questions asked.”

After an hour or so of travel, you found yourself in the dock of Nami Island, waiting for the first ferry to arrive. Since you left Seoul early, the place was not that crowded yet. You could feel butterflies inside your stomach because it brings back so many memories of your youth. And because Jaehyun needed to be close to you all the time, you had no choice but to let him take a stroll with you on the island. He was puzzled as to why you were here, he assumed that you were meeting someone for business but now that he’s watching you just walk around and breathe in the autumn air, it made him think that you were here to calm yourself.

He may not know the feeling of how hard it is to live in a family like yours, but he could see how tiring it could be. And even though you’ve been labeled like Tom and Jerry, though his existence alone annoys the spirit in you, Jaehyun knows how hardworking you are. He admired the extreme effort you exert on your job.

Jaehyun was walking a few steps behind you. There were only a few people in the island as it was a weekday and it wasn’t peak hours yet, you and he were one of the few people walking on the Gingko Tree Lane. The scenic path filled with bright yellow leaves never fails to make you smile. You turned around and gestured to Jaehyun to come closer to you.

“Would you do me a favor?” You asked, and he nodded. “I know we’re always bickering, but let’s forget all of that today. Let’s drop formalities for a day. Today.”

“Ma’am, I-”

“Let’s pretend we’re friends or whatever. I just… I just really want to feel like a normal person again, like what I was when I was studying abroad. Someone who doesn’t have someone who follows her around or drives her around, watching her every move.”

It was a simple request, but it was something he wasn’t expecting. So simple yet so sad. Nevertheless, he had no choice. He nodded his head, removing the earpiece and turned it off, causing it to disconnect to the main service connection. Though it is kind of awkward walking around the island wearing a tuxedo, he brushed it off. After two years of working in a security group, this is the first time that he was asked by his boss to act like they’re friends. It was so unusual.

“Now that we’re ‘friends’, why don’t we get to know each other?”

Why is she acting like this? He thought, averting his attention to the yellow leaves instead and started walking with you.

“There’s nothing interesting in my life, ma’am- uh… Y/N.”

“I heard you were part of the presidential security service before you started working for us. That’s interesting enough, what’s that like?”

Jaehyun sighs, remembering the main reason of how he got into this line of work. “My father is a retired special forces colonel. After his retirement when I was 20, he became part of the presidential security service after he was recruited by an old colleague- which I also became part of a year ago, after I graduated. It’s a much harder job than this one because we had to keep an eye on everyone in the Blue House, the president, his family– everyone.”

As the two of you walk along the lane filled with yellow leaves, your conversation deepens. Who would’ve thought that the person you were always bickering to would be the person you’re opening up your problems to? From childhood to the days of your high school life, you and Jaehyun continued to talk. At some point, you were eating dosirak with him and laughing at old memories and sharing inside jokes to each other.

“Question, do you really come here whenever you have a hard time?” Jaehyun asked, shoving a spoonful of kimchi fried rice to his mouth.

“Mhm, because this is where my first love brought me.”

“You have a first love?!”

“Of course, dummy! He’s Doyoung’s friend actually and we dated for three years.” You chuckled, “Ah, damn it… he’s actually getting married in a few months and coming here just brought a lot of memories.”

“But you’re over him, right?”

“Of course, I am! It’s been years, we’re both moved on and we’re really good friends now.” You replied, “What about you? What’s your love life like?”

Jaehyun’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and immediately shakes his head, “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I did have one before that only lasted for a year. I never dated again after that.”

“Really? Why?”

You really wouldn’t deny it, Jaehyun is indeed handsome and with that kind of face, he could get any girls he wanted. You were just surprised to find out that he hasn’t dated anyone since his first and last breakup.

“Just… just life and its stuff. I just don’t think I’m built for relationships. I never even had my first kiss yet!”

“You– WHAT?! Are you serious?” Jaehyun nodded his head, “That’s impossible! A handsome guy like you does not have their first kiss yet?”

He was taken aback by your words and his ears have turned right red. You giggled, “That’s actually cute, Jaehyun.”

“Is it? I actually find it a bit weird that I haven’t had one at this age.” He confessed, scratching his neck, “What about you? Ever had your first kiss?”

“Well, yeah. Kun and I were together for three years and we were each other’s first kiss.”

“That’s nice…”

“You grew up in a military family, correct?” You asked, he nodded. “And you know the military secrecy.”

After eating brunch, the two of you continued to walk around the small island again. Going through the famous spots and talking about your personal lives. It was your little talk with Jaehyun that you found out that it was only him and his older sister, who conquered the world together after their mother died, and his father abandoned his responsibilities as a father. That results in the two siblings working hard for everything that they needed. Your heart sank at the thought that Jaehyun had to work hard to get what he needed and wanted, the thought that he and his sister sacrificed everything to make a living. His sister was 23 and got a job as a barista, while Jaehyun enlisted as a military man the moment he turned 20. He was earning so little, yet it helped him and his sister to survive.

“What you see, what you hear, when you leave, leave it here.” He answered confidently, dimples popping out as he smiled.

“What happens in Nami Island, stays in Nami Island.” You said before tiptoeing and pressed your lips on his. It was only 5-seconds, but it felt too long for Jaehyun. “Let’s go, I’m meeting my friends for coffee. I’ll just go to the restroom first.”

What you see, what you hear, when you leave… leave it here. How will he leave what happened here when you just stole his first kiss?

“Oh god, what did I do…” You tell yourself the moment you shut the restroom door. “Why did I do that?”

PRESENT DAY.

It’s been a dreadful week since the accident. Jaehyun was still recovering from it and unfortunately, still in coma. You weren’t the religious type of person, but every night you’d pray to a deity– for his speedy recovery. As of now, you were back at your house. You had a few stitches on your forehead and a broken arm, you even went back to work for a few days after you got discharged despite your father saying that he was willing to let you rest for at least a month. And today, after work, you had informed your driver to head straight to the hospital and not home.

There was no one to update you about Jaehyun’s current situation. As far as you know, he was staying in a private room after spending a few days in the ICU. His parents would visit him whenever they can, but due to personal reasons, are not able to stay through the night as they both work. Heading to the hospital was not part of your plan this evening, yet something was telling you that you must. Your intuition was pushing you to visit your boyfriend.

And your intuition was right. Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t know who’s responsible for all of this mess and accident.

The moment you arrived, you were shocked to see that the door of your boyfriend’s room was open, and a few bodyguards were outside by the waiting area a few meters away. It wasn’t a huge room, a bed and a bathroom fit in the small space so you could hear and see what’s going on inside. You were about to enter but you stopped your tracks when you heard a familiar voice.

“The doctor said he hasn’t awakened yet, no records of him waking up this week. But he seems okay, and his vital signs are normal.” Your mother says, “Hyeongcheol, this is bad. What if the media finds out about this? Worst case, what if your daughter finds out you’re responsible for their accident?”

“She wouldn’t find out because we’ll make it seem like it really was an accident.” Your father answered, “Y/N wouldn’t find out. I’m good at hiding secrets like her– she hid her relationship with her bodyguard? I’ll hide every single information about this from her.”

“You’ve gone too far, Hyeongcheol. I cannot believe I’m married to a person like you. Jaehyun is a person, even if he’s just a bodyguard who, take note of this, your daughter loves so much. Why does it bother you so much to the point where you almost got the two of them killed?”

“Nayeon, I’ve worked so hard to be the best. To be the richest person in this country. To give you the life the four of you deserve. I’m not letting one scandal about my daughter dating a bodyguard ruin that, we both know that this man is not capable of being in a relationship with Y/N. She deserves better.”

“And Y/N deserves a better father, a supportive, selfless and loving father.” She sternly said, “All this because you’re concerned about your image, our family’s image. And you know what? If someone finds out about all of this, that is a much bigger problem that people will talk about– not because our daughter is dating her own bodyguard, but because of this inhumane act you did. If ever the press finds out about this whole Y/N and Jaehyun scandal you formed in your head, it will die down in a few days, weeks possibly. But this whole accident? It won’t, it will stick with you and your name forever.”

Your heart broke. You didn’t know what to do or where to go. You were frozen on the spot. As much as you try not to believe it, the person behind the accident was your father. He planned it all along, all of this while me and Jaehyun were planning to tell him. You thought, holding the straps of your bag tightly. You could hear your mother’s heels click as she walked through the door, how will you face them after finding out the truth?

Your mother puts her hand on her chest and emits a loud gasp the moment the door spits her out, seeing you standing by the door with an unexplainable look on your face. A mixture of anger, disappointment, fear, and broken heart. All those four combined as one.

“How long have been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear father confess the crime he committed.”

She had pulled you inside the room, closing the door behind her. It is this moment that you realized your grandmother was right– she was right all along. Trust no one – be it your friends, your lover, or even your security, maybe even family. That continued to chant inside your head, trust no one. Trust no one but thyself. Because even the closest ones you have, like your own father, will betray you.

“Here’s your worst-case scenario, Hyeongcheol.”

“Y/N…”

“You did it dad?” You ask, trying to keep your composure even though you could feel your blood boil and tears threaten to fall. “You– you did something to that car that led me and Jaehyun to this accident?”

“I didn’t do it for yo–��

“Did you do it dad, yes or no?”

Your voice was filled with anger. It was the first time your mom has ever seen you so angry, it felt like you were a different person and not her precious girl who loved her parents dearly. But who would love their parents after finding out the truth? When she noticed your fists balled up, she tried to pull you away, trying her best to calm you down by saying words such as he didn’t do it or don’t hurt your father and many more words that you deafened to listen to. It wasn’t much of a help to you, it made your anger even worse, like throwing a gallon of gasoline to a wildfire. Rage filled your eyes, and you were ready to fight your own father.

“Answer me!” You yelled, “A simple yes or no, dad! Did you do it or not?! Because I hope the fuck not, I hope I was only hearing things!”

“…I did it out of love, I did it for you– for our family.”

Out of love.

For our family.

Out of love.

For our family.

Fuck. Fuck this family. Fuck this system. Fuck the selfish, narcissistic, rich people like your father. Your knees felt jelly as that stupid, fucked up sentence continues to ring inside your head. You were all out of words, like every single word does not exist anymore. You wanted to run away, but you can’t. You didn’t want to leave Jaehyun here, you didn’t want to go home.

Over the past few weeks since the accident occurred, you’ve been blaming yourself. You were thinking that maybe you were the reason why the two of you got into it. Maybe you were a distraction while he was driving. You’ve been blaming yourself thinking you were responsible for everything that happened, but that person was your own father.

“Leave.” You say, “Leave dad, mom. I can’t be in the same room as the two of you.”

-

Doyoung: I heard about what happened.

Doyoung: Are you coming home?

Doyoung: Gongmyung and I are worried sick. Where are you?

Gongmyung: Y/N, please return our calls.

Gongmyung: You weren’t at the hospital nor your office.

Gongmyung: Even your bodyguard doesn’t know where you are. Your location is not shared, and we cannot track you at all.

You locked your phone, turned on the do not disturb mode and shoved it back to your bag after seeing the notifications you’ve received from your brothers. A day has passed since you found out about the accident, you didn’t come home– no, you couldn’t come home knowing what your father has done. You couldn’t stay at the hospital for so long either, feeling really guilty about what happened and seeing Jaehyun weak and in pain hurts you.

After resting (more like crying your eyes out) inside the motel you checked in, you found yourself walking along the same path you and Jaehyun took years ago, where you first got to know him better. Exactly like four years ago, autumn is gloomy. Autumn is painful. You sat on a wooden chair facing the water that surrounded the whole island, letting the view cloud your mind with thoughts.

What if you weren’t from an influential family, would you be able to date whoever you wanted without being judged by most of the people who knew you?

What if you and Jaehyun live life like a normal person, what would be the thing that you would love doing together as a couple?

What if you left the venue earlier and did not receive any interviews?

What if…

What if Jaehyun never wakes up?

You felt a tear escape from your eye, and you let out a scoff. Your dreams are really simple, aren’t they? You dream of living a simple life, as a simple person, from a simple family.

“I knew we’d find you here.”

You turn around and see your two brothers, Gongmyung was holding a coat which he immediately placed on your shoulder and Doyoung was holding a duffel bag, which you assumed had clothes inside. The two sat next to you, sandwiching you between them. And that made it worse– your tears wouldn’t stop from falling.

“We know you wanted space, but we want you to know that we’re here for you.” Doyoung said, taking your hand in his. “What father did was unforgivable. We understand where your anger is coming from, Y/N.”

“We won’t force you to come back home with us, don’t worry. We’re just here to comfort you.” Gongmyung added, “Take all the time you need to heal. Cry it all out.”

And you did. You cried to the two of them until there were no more tears left to cry.

WINTER, FOUR YEARS AGO, TWO MONTHS AFTER THE TRIP TO NAMI ISLAND.

It was the weekend, the first time in months that the three of you were home. You emerged from your bedroom to the formal dining room where your brothers were peacefully having breakfast.

“Has anyone seen Jaehyun?”

Your question almost choked Doyoung from drinking his hot coffee. You cocked an eyebrow, what was wrong with your question? You were just looking for your bodyguard because you’ve noticed that he’s been gone for a while and that your driver, Jaemin, has been double working. As your driver and your bodyguard.

“Why?” Doyoung asked, putting down his cup of joe. “You never take interest in your bodyguard.”

“Well, he’s been gone for a week, maybe even two weeks now. Just wanted to make sure he’s not dead or something.”

The eldest flips his newspaper, “Jaehyun’s out of town with his family.” Answered Gongmyung, receiving confused reactions from the two of you. “Don’t give me those looks, I’m closer to him than you two are because he was once my bodyguard.”

Satisfied, you sat next to Doyoung and poured yourself a cup of coffee. “Well, that’s great, I’m attending a friend’s birthday party tonight and it’s great that he isn’t here to prevent me from getting drunk with my friends.”

“Your dreams are so simple, Y/N.” Doyoung teased, and you rolled your eyes in return.

“I know, right?”

That night, while getting ready, you made sure to tell Jaemin not to wait for you. You told him to just drop you off at the club and will contact him again or any of the drivers if you need assistance to go home. After that you prepared yourself, you wore your favorite mini-dress from Balmain, paired with platform pumps from Versace in the same color. Your outfit reveals a lot of skin, which you knew your brothers would either make you change your clothes or convince you to bring something that would help you cover up just in case.

When you arrived at the club, the guards outside immediately recognized you. They opened the doors of the establishment, causing a few groans and possibly profanities from the people in line. What could you do anyway? This was owned by one of your friends from high school (the one that Doyoung has warned you about), and you were considered a VIP. It was really loud– considering that you were walking down the stairs, a bit far from the main club, the blasting music and colorful lights flashing, mixed with the loud cheers of young people partying and having the best time of their lives. You missed this: partying. Your parents may sleep through the night knowing that their daughter was inside her apartment, either studying or sleeping abroad, but every weekend, you and your college friends party as if the world was ending the following day. You loved partying and dancing; you can’t even count the number of boys you’ve made out with before.

When you spot your group of friends, they cheered loudly and poured you a shot of vodka right away. Starting a bit strong tonight, you thought, taking another before hissing due to the taste of the alcohol.

One drink led to another, and it was obvious that you were fueled up by the alcohol. You noticed some of your friends were doing body shots, some were passed out on the couch while you found yourself on the dance floor. Swaying your hips and arms raised as you danced to the rhythm. You knew you had enough alcohol when you started making out with a random guy on the side of the dance floor. His lips were soft, but not as soft as that person’s lips you kissed out of nowhere in your favorite place. His lips tasted like alcohol and cigarettes combined, not like the cherry flavored lips of Jaehyun.

Why couldn’t you stop thinking about Jaehyun lately? Why was he coming to your dreams and thoughts? Why is he in your mind when, right now, you’re making out with a total stranger? It’s no longer the alcohol in your system that’s thinking about him, maybe it was your mind– possibly your heart. This is dumb, you thought. You hated Jaehyun, right? But why are you feeling confused about how you feel towards him?

You pull away from the person you were making out with, he was hesitant to let you go at first, keeping his hands on your waist to keep you close to him. You tried pushing his hands off, badly needing to go to the restroom.

“Come on, don’t go now! We’re having fun!” He said, trying to keep you closer to him.

Blech. This was when he finally let you go. When he felt your vomit come contact with his skin and on his white button-up shirt. “You– ah fuck, can’t say anything bad about you because you’re a Kim.” The boy said, stepping back and tried to remove himself from the scene. You could only give him a smug smile and wipe your lips.

You remember walking back to the booth and tried calling someone but ended up blacking out before they could even answer.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N…” Your father sighs, shaking his head in disbelief when he saw you lying on the couch in the living room at 6:00 in the morning. “Please cook some hot soup and prepare some ibuprofen, as well as a hot bath for her.”

The maids nod their heads before heading off to the kitchen and to your bathroom. Your mother who just woke up, was confused as to why the servants were in a rush so early in the morning, walks to the living room only to find her youngest blacked out and the three men of the family are still in their pajamas, standing across the couch and staring at your sleeping figure. You were covered with a jacket and your head was hanging off the couch, your heels and personal belongings were tossed somewhere in the room.

“Who brought her home?” She asked, sitting down on the couch and gently swooped your head before placing it down on her lap. She started running her fingers on your hair, tangled as you tossed and turned on this uncomfortable sofa earlier.

“Jaehyun did.” Answered the eldest, “I’m curious, are we going to ground her for coming home drunk and passed out?”

“She’s an adult, we can’t ground her.” Argued the middle child. “Right, dad?”

“I don’t know, this is the first time I’ve seen her so drunk. Was she like this when she was still in university?”

“You can’t ground her, Hyeongcheol. She’s an adult who’s living her life, let’s just tell her to drink responsibly next time so she won’t end up going home passed out again.” Your mother says, ending the three men’s discussion. Just in time, the maid informs them that the hot bath is ready.

Your parents have tried almost everything to wake you up, but only one was effective. Doyoung pointed his phone’s speaker to your ear and played an audio compilation of sirens on YouTube with the volume set to the highest, causing you to jolt up and with a throbbing headache. You would’ve gone feral if it weren’t for your hangover. You sure missed partying, but not the hangover the following day.

“How did I get here?” You asked, sitting up straight but your head felt heavy. “Oh heavens, I’m never drinking again.”

“Jaehyun brought you home.”

“I thought he was out with his family– fucking hell, Doyoung, can you turn that shit off?!”

“Y/N, language!”

You apologized to your mother, pointing out that Doyoung’s siren noises were making your hangover worse than it already was. How did Jaehyun get into the club? You were sure you were just thinking about him before you vomited on that dude you were making out with last night. What is he, some sort of a knight and shining armor? You thought, bringing your hands to your head as you felt another pain.

“I’m sorry, mom and dad.”

“It’s alright,” Your dad said, “Go ahead and freshen up. I’m letting you take this day off for you to rest. Take a bath and join us for breakfast, you’re reeking alcohol.”

If your dad made you go to work today, a hundred percent, you wouldn’t be able to focus and end up sleeping in your cubicle for the rest of the day. Speaking of work, has Jaehyun returned from his leave? That was something that has been in your mind as you bathe in the hot water. That thought stayed inside your mind until you fell asleep during the day.

A brand-new day, after spending yesterday in bed with a really bad hangover, you were ready to go back to work again. There were tons of scheduled meetings with your father today, some with the investors, some with the same old people who work for the company– there were too many to mention. You left the house at exactly 7 a.m., shocked to see Jaehyun back at work with the same stoic face of his whenever he greets you outside of your house.

As you rode the elevator of your father’s building, you could feel the awkward atmosphere inside the lift. It was less awkward when you were in the car as Jaemin was there, but it was more awkward when you realized that the only people riding the lift are the two of you.

“Thanks.” You said, after mustering the courage to break the silence. “I don’t know how you got there and how you brought me home, but thanks for bring me back safely.”

“It’s my job, you don’t have to thank me for it.”

Jaehyun was standing in front of you, his back was facing you so you couldn’t see his reaction, but you were certain that he had kept his straight face.

“So… how did–”

“You called me and confessed something through voice message.” He said bluntly.

I did what? Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought of what happened that night. You were sure you remember making out and vomiting on someone, but definitely not confessing to Jaehyun!

“I did what?”

“It’s hard to say, Ms. Y/N… let’s just pretend it didn’t happen nor did I say that.” He sighs, waiting for the elevator doors to open and exited, waiting for you to exit as well.

You were about to say something, but a woman dressed in a corporate attire greets you the moment you step out of the elevator. “Good morning, Ms. Y/N! I am Gyeoul, your new assistant and your father asked me to show you to your new office. It’s located at the west wing of the building, three floors below your father’s office which is located at the east wing. All of your stuff has been taken from the cubicle you were using and moved here.”

You couldn’t help but try to recall the events of that night as you follow the woman to your new office while Jaehyun walks behind you. My phone. You thought, fishing out the device out of your bag. You realized that you haven’t had a chance to open this up yesterday because of your hangover and you watched Netflix through the TV. You were no longer paying attention to Gyeoul who was informing you things about your office, that’s the last thing you could think of. Goosebumps occur to your body as you open the messages you shared with Jaehyun, seeing a few audio messages and are all marked as read.

“Oh my god,”

“Yes, Ms. Y/N? Is there something wrong with the location of your office or the interior design?”

“N-no! I mean, oh my god! It’s beautiful and the view is so pretty. I love it.” You said, changing the tone in your voice and shoved your phone into your pocket.

She smiles in return, “I’m glad you love it. I will head off now, if you need me, just buzz me and I’ll be here right away.”

When Gyeoul was about to leave, Jaehyun followed her, but you were quick to stop him by holding his wrist and closed the door. “This has to end. We need to talk about us.”

“What about us?”

You dropped your bag on the ottoman, letting go of his wrist and walked to the windows to gather your thoughts. You frustratingly run your fingers through your hair, frustrated that Jaehyun is acting like he does not understand what you’re saying.

“You’re in my mind lately and I don’t know why! It’s… it’s making me crazy! You’re making me crazy!” You confessed, “It was just a kiss! A simple, quick kiss but why is the aftermath like this? Why do I think of you all the damn time, even last night, when I was kissing some dude?”

“Miss Y/N–”

“Why am I starting to fall for you, Jeong Jaehyun?!”

PRESENT DAY.

After crying for so long on Nami Island, your brothers have convinced you to eat with them at a local barbecue place. And even though you have vowed never to drink again, you and Gongmyung were drinking one on one (not Doyoung though, he’s driving back home).

“I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you,”

“Why are you saying sorry to us? You did nothing wrong.” Gongmyung said, flipping the meat on the grill as he watched you wipe another tear. “Stop crying now, Y/N. We’re not angry or disappointed.”

“And frankly, we noticed it already. The looks and smiles you two exchanged before? You make it seem so subtle but somehow my intuition told me that there was something between you and Jaehyun.” Doyoung smiled, handing you his handkerchief. “Wipe those tears. We understand why you hid it. You just wanted to protect Jaehyun and your relationship.”

“Grandma was so right, trust no one. Be it your friends or family.”

The moment they found out about the accident, Doyoung who was bound to Europe took the next flight back to Korea and Gongmyung rushed to the hospital despite him being in his pajamas. You couldn’t help but smile at your brothers, you swore the two of them had annoyed and teased you a lot growing up, but they’re always there to understand and protect you. 

“I don’t know where I’m going now…” You murmured, “I can’t go home, I don’t want to face dad after what happened.”

“You can stay at my condo, I’m not using it anyway since mom says I should still live with you all.” Gongmyung offered, “You can stay there until you’re ready. I can drive you to work and pick you up.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course, you’re my baby sister!”

“Hey, she’s my baby sister, too!”

“Then I drive her to work and you drop her off at my condo then.”

“Alright, deal!”

After that dinner, you decided to check out of the motel and head back to the city with your brothers. As expected, Doyoung was the only one who’s allowed to drive as you and Gongmyung had a lot to drink. This week is too much for you to absorb, you don’t even have the energy to go to work but what could you do? You couldn’t abandon your job, after all, you’re the CEO now (although you still work under your father’s company). While Gongmyung snores in the front seat, you rest your head on the window. The night is deep and quiet, extra points for the rain as it gives you a really dramatic effect— almost as if you were filming a music video.

Now that you found out the truth, what will happen? Will your father admit the crime, or will he hide it until his conscience speaks out about it? There were many things running inside your head as you stared outside the window.

“Doyoung, can we visit Jaehyun?” You asked quietly, your brother looked at you through the rearview mirror with his brows raised. “I-I know it’s late but I really want to see him right now.”

Doyoung nods his head to your request, reminding you that it’ll be an hour until you arrive at the destination and that you should rest. But you couldn’t rest, you just simply couldn’t close your eyes because every time you do, you recall the last few seconds before the accident occurred. The whole drive to the hospital, you were just quiet. You weren’t holding your phone, you were busy looking out the window and trying to focus on other things and not the one running inside your head. 

“We’ll stay out here, call us when you need anything.” Doyoung said and closed the door of Jaehyun’s room for you. 

It was painful honestly, hearing nothing but his vital monitor beep as it keeps track of his vital signs. He was sleeping peacefully, no records of him waking up today unfortunately. You dropped your bag on the couch, taking a seat next to his bed before holding his hand. Oh the things you want to say to him right now, but it feels like it’s not the right time for that. You stayed like that for a while, and eventually you found yourself crying again. Crying and apologizing. 

The clock strikes 2 in the morning. You didn’t notice that you fell asleep crying and holding his hand. The strain you felt on your neck woke you up, you lifted your head and looked at Jaehyun. He was still asleep, nothing new. But you were deeply asleep. Sighing, you stood up and grabbed your belongings, planted a kiss on his forehead and whispered: “I love you” before leaving him alone inside the cold hospital room again.

I’ll be back, Jae. 

FOUR YEARS AGO, THREE WEEKS AFTER YOUR CONFESSION.

Ah, the season of bliss. The season most of the company employees look forward to the most— the season of all seasons, Christmas. Your father, since he started his own company, made sure to thank all the people around him for their hard work and service to the companies he had. That is why he rents a whole hotel resort somewhere around the globe to celebrate another successful year of working altogether. 

And this year, due to popular demand and due to the current situations of the world, they decided to celebrate the year-end party in Jeju Island. Luckily, one of your father’s great friends, who happens to be Kun’s father, owns the hotel-resort everyone was staying at for three days. That’s three days of different activities with material and cash prizes that got everyone so excited. 

Because everyone was given a chance to explore the wonders of Jeju throughout the day, the final event to wrap up the three-day company outing will be held tonight, the Christmas Party. The hotel resort you were staying in is owned by the Qians, which is why Kun was present here as well. That being said, you made plans to grab a drink with him as you wanted to relax before going back to your reality tomorrow.

“So, is there a lucky guy in your life now?” He asked, taking a sip of his pinot noir. “Doyoung said you want to focus on your training, what’s that like?”

“I do want to focus on my training, but there’s this guy who… well, it’s a mess right now.”

You don’t even know if Jaehyun has reciprocated your feelings or not. After that confession of yours, the two of you never had the chance to talk about it as well. He just left your office like nothing happened and waited for you until your work was done. It was quite embarrassing for your part, really, you’ve never confessed to anyone after Kun and since then you were just casually dating. For the first time in years, you had the chance to confess to a guy once again but it feels like it was a bad idea. It really wasn’t a mess, you just said that because you knew that it would stop Kun from interrogating you.

Or so you thought.

“Why is it a mess? Sending you mixed signals?”

You shook your head, he’s not, in fact I’m the one who’s at fault. “No,” You answered, “Sorry, I won’t go deep into the details. It’ll go away soon, besides I’m not even sure if I’m really into him.”

Hell yeah you’re sure. 

You have successfully maneuvered the topic to a different one. Kun has exchanged stories with you about how his fiancé was excited about getting married and how they were so ready for their honeymoon in Maldives. You could see it in his eyes that he was enamoured of his significant other— they’re so lucky to have him in their life. Your little catching up session ended when your alarm rang and reminded you that it was time for you to go and prepare for tonight’s dinner party. You bid your goodbye to Kun and he handed you the invitation for his wedding before walking away.

And now here you were, on the balcony of the event’s place that overlooks the beach. You took one last sip of your wine before placing it on the small table and removed your shoes, holding the straps on your fingers as you walked down the stairs that lead to the beach. No single soul was here except you and you took advantage of that. You walk closer and closer to the shore until you feel the cold winter sea on your feet (which you really regret now).

“Miss Y/N,”

You turn your head and see Jaehyun. This was the first time you saw him since the three days you’ve been here. He looked cute as he was still wearing his tuxedo with an antler headband.

“Walk with me.” You request, waiting for him to respond. He nodded his head and walked until he was finally next to you. “So, I want to apologize about what happened three weeks ago. From me calling you so late in the evening, you picking me up in the club and uh… me confessing. That’s kind of unprofessional of me, I think, and I know you’re just doing your job and it’s not your fault that I’m uh, starting to like you because I’m the one who’s responsible for my feelings. I hope we can just pretend that that never happened.”

“Y/N,” Jaehyun called, you stopped your tracks by the sudden drop of formalities. “Do you know why I walked out right after your confession?”

“Because we’re two different people who are not meant for each other.” He continues, “You’re so near yet so far, you don’t deserve someone like me. You deserve someone who lives the same lifestyle as you, the same tax bracket as you, someone who—”

“So what you’re saying is that you think the two of us wouldn’t work because we’re from two different worlds?” You asked, his nod made you scoff. “Then I guess that’s it. You’ve rejected me then?”

“I wasn’t finished though,” He says, “We’re from two different worlds, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to be with you, wanting to try it with you. I know what I’m about to enter would be a huge risk, a huge scandal, but if it’s with you, then I’m willing to take that risk.”

And in that moment, what he told you, it felt like a dream. Is this really happening? You ask yourself, unable to process the words he just said. Your solution? Run back to the hotel and leave him on the beach because you got shy. Jaehyun, however, laughs at what he just witnessed.

The morning after, you found yourself waking up due to the hotel staff knocking at your door. You were so confused because it was early in the morning and the checkout was not until 1 o’ clock in the afternoon. When you opened the door, the bellboy handed you a small bouquet of forget me nots, confused, you took them and thanked the bellboy. It’s winter— usually, forget me nots bloom during the spring. You touch its petals and realize they were artificial.

“Roses are overrated. Forget me not flowers symbolize true love and respect— so I hope you know that my confession last night is true. They’re artificial because they’re not in season yet, I’ll give you the real one in the spring. Let me know if you’re willing to take this risk with me, no rush, let me know whenever you’re ready. Happy holidays, Y/N. Signed, J.”

PRESENT DAY.

Thank heavens for the condominium your brother owns. Somehow, you were able to calm yourself by staying there and found comfort instead of going back home. You’ve been staying there for quite a while, and your brothers willingly drove you back and forth to the office and to the condominium. Your parents have tried to contact you, but your brothers insisted they give you time and let you heal first before speaking to them. Jaehyun, so far, has yet not woken up from his coma. It’s been 8 weeks since the accident, yet no signs of him waking up happened. 

“Miss Y/N, Johnny Suh is here to see you.” said your secretary through the intercom.

“Oh, alright. Send him in please.”

Johnny Suh, the famous director and currently the CEO of Suh Film Studios, enters your office with a bouquet of tulips. 

“I heard about the accident when I was in America, how are you?” He asked, taking a seat on the chair across your table. “These are for you, by the way.”

“Thank you, they’re pretty.” You compliment, taking the bouquet from his hands. “I’m good, it’s been a month and I’m doing good now.”

“What about that bodyguard of yours? Is he good?”

You stopped looking at the flowers and gazed at him, “Uh, no. I heard he’s still at the hospital.” You reply, “So what brings you here?”

“Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing— personally. I haven’t heard much from you since you last contacted me and since the accident, there haven’t been many updates about you.”

Still the same person who never gets tired of flirting with you since you were introduced two years ago. You let out a chuckle, standing up to put the flowers he gave you in an empty vase. “I’ve been avoiding the media and the internet, that's why you haven’t heard any updates about me.” You say, turning your back against him as you place the vase on the small cabinet by the window. “Johnny, why are you really here?”

“I told you, I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” He answered, “Also, I’d like to take you out for dinner.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I just wanted to catch up and take you out. Nothing more, nothing less.”

You turn your heels around, “Well, alright then.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up at 6.”

The moment Johnny bid his goodbye, you return to your seat and stare at the tulips resting on the vase. You remember Jaehyun again, he loved giving you flowers. Sometimes you’d find them in your office, on a random Monday morning with a cute note. The specific flower he loved to buy you were forget me not— he loved them because they only bloom during the spring, he loved them because it’s his reminder that he will keep you in his thoughts everyday. He loved that the flower means being faithful, because like the flower, he was faithful to you as well. After all, you really are his first official girlfriend. Sucks that his first relationship is hidden from the public.

You didn’t have time to go back home and just asked Johnny to pick you up at your office. You informed your brothers beforehand as well, they told you that they will be visiting Jaehyun tonight. He brought you to the newest Michelin restaurant in town, owned by Lee Taeyong— your brother, Doyoung’s best friend and as he quoted your ‘brother from a different mother’. Taeyong was shocked to see you again after so long that he offered to pay for your whole meal, which Johnny disagreed to because it was still business (also because the meal you’re currently eating is worth at least $500).

“You know your bodyguard has always been so protective of you, aren’t you getting annoyed by it?”

That’s because he’s my boyfriend. “The first few weeks were annoying, but I grew out of it. I kind of miss having him around.”

“Why? Is he your boyfriend or anything?”

You almost choked on the wine you were drinking, but brushed it off with a chuckle. “Stop putting meaning into it, John. He’s been my bodyguard for four years, I got used to him being around and following me.”

“You’re right, I just assumed that he’s into you because he’s really protective of you and looks like he’d punch any other guy who tries to touch you.”

“His gaze has always been like that ever since.”

Johnny was about to answer but got interrupted by your ringing phone. You excused yourself and took the phone with you before heading to the restroom. Gongmyung has sent you numerous text messages while Doyoung called you, quickly, you answer the call. Just before you could say a greeting, you could hear Doyoung’s frantic voice. 

“We’ve been trying to contact you, are you still with Johnny?” He asked, by the sound of his breath, you know that he has been walking back and forth.

“I am, what’s happening?”

“Jaehyun…”

You didn’t need any further explanation; you ended the call and went back to Johnny. The older man noticed the haste in your actions, “What’s happening?”

“I have to go,” You reply, taking your wallet and pulling out cash. “I’m sorry, it’s an emergency.”

You placed the cash on the table and headed off quickly, unable to hear Taeyong’s voice when he called you as your attention was focused on Jaehyun’s condition. Fuck, you thought, seeing the traffic on the streets. It’s rush hour and no taxis or buses are available nearby. You could hear Johnny call for your name, and felt his hand on your shoulder. 

“It’ll take you hours if you wait here, I’ll drive you.”

TWO YEARS AGO

Two years have passed, yet it feels like it was yesterday when you got drunk and confessed to Jaehyun. Your relationship is slow as the two of you agreed. Keeping a private, lowkey relationship was something you weren’t expecting you’d have, but you were definitely satisfied with it. You and Jaehyun would sneak kisses whenever he enters your office, sometimes you’d take the risk of making out on the couch of your office after business hours. You’d always tell your parents not to wait for you for dinner because you have something else to do in the office, but you were just there so you could spend quality time with your boyfriend. Jaehyun enjoys the thrill, whenever the two of you are left alone in the building, he’d sneak a kiss on the hallways where the cctvs are out of sight, inside the elevator if there’s only the two of you, before heading to the parking lot, you’d pull him to the emergency stairwell, inside the car while your driver fills up the gas. 

His lips were so… addicting. And that’s why you arranged a rendezvous together. Away from the city, from the crowd. In a little cabin in the woods in a place where no one knows the two of you, to celebrate your first year together.

“You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my whole life,” he says, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before claiming your lips. “I love you so damn much.”

You feel your cheeks heat by the compliment. Jaehyun kisses you slowly and passionately while your hands work on unbuttoning his white dress shirt. This is the first time since you’ve dated that you will be intimate with each other. All you ever did in the span of one year were sloppy make-outs in places you know no one will see you. Though there are days you could feel his boner through his pants during makeout sessions, he’d laugh them off and tell you that he was willing to wait for the perfect time for that to happen. 

“C-can I?” He asked gently, referring to your shirt. You nod your head and feel the cold air from the A/C on your exposing skin as he peeled off the shirt. Jaehyun bites his lips as he sees your breasts bounce once the cloth is removed. “Gorgeous, gorgeous girl.”

Jaehyun took this chance to remove the remaining clothes off of him and yours as well, he kissed your forehead before mumbling a quick thank you then proceeded to plant kisses on your cheeks, the tip of your nose and your lips. So what was it with Jaehyun’s lips that are so addicting? Because whenever he kisses you, you feel like your world slows down. It’s like his lips were made for you and you only. You feel your head lay down on the soft pillows while he peppers kisses on your neck lowering himself further as he creates a trail; he kisses the skin between your breasts, he pauses in the middle of your tummy. You felt goosebumps as you felt his hot breath on your skin. Someday. Someday in the future. He thought, kissing the skin before proceeding to lower himself.

It feels so embarrassing knowing how wet you are right now, but Jaehyun assures you that it was fine. He runs his finger along your slit, causing you to suck air. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing the nub clockwise as you arch your back. He inserts a finger, followed by another one as he distracts you from the pain by dipping his lips to yours. 

“Jaehyun, c-can I?”

He took your pleas as a signal, he quickly discarded his boxers and kicked them off his legs. You knew that Jaehyun was packing, you could feel it through your pants or skirt whenever he’s hard while you’re making out yet you were fascinated by how it looks now that you’re seeing it. Your lips curl into a grin, sitting up and your hands take his cock, precum visible on its tip. You pump his shaft a few times, earning groans and heavy sighs from Jaehyun. You took his length into your mouth, tasting the salty, bitter taste of his precum. His hips started to jerk forward slowly, feeling the splash of pleasure as you suck him. He smirks when he hears you gagged, removing himself from your mouth and wiped the drool on the side of your mouth.

After he opens the silver packet, he rolls the rubber on his cock. He puts his fingers below your chin, and you look up to him with a smile. Jaehyun connects his lips to yours and you let go of his dick when you feel him gently push you to the bed, your lips not breaking up. You feel his hand spread your legs to position himself between you. 

He breaks the kiss and lines his cock on your entrance, “Ready?” He asks, earning an eager nod from you. Jaehyun plants a kiss on your forehead before he pushes the tip in. You let out a gasp, feeling his thick cock rub against your wall. “Baby, you’re tight.”

Your eyes shut closed when Jaehyun started to suck on your nipple, he palms your breast and started to rock his hips slowly. The mixture of moans and groans filled the whole room as his entire length was buried inside of you. He maintained the slow pace, taking his time as he practically makes out with your nipple while you tug his hair in pleasure. When he finally stopped, he started whispering sweet nothings against your cheek and lips. 

The sex was slow and intimate— nothing like the ones you did when you were in university because now, you were doing it with the person you love and not a random guy you met at a party. It feels different knowing how much you love this guy, it feels so perfect and you feel loved, adored and appreciated by the things he’s been whispering to you. The bed creaks with each thrust he makes, your fingers that were once on Jaehyun’s hair, now twisting the comforter underneath you. 

“Babe,” you mewl, “I-I think I’m close, please don’t stop…”

“So am I.”

Jaehyun started to fasten his pace, his length was filling you up and the skin slapping got louder and louder, causing it to echo inside the room. The orgasm that was slowly building up earlier, was now at its peak. You were the first to cum, wrapping your legs around his waist as you let him chase his high. Your walls clench around him, causing his cock to twitch— his thrusts became more frantic. Jaehyun moans your name as his cum spills into the condom. 

He pulls out of you, removing the rubber from him and making sure to tie and discard it properly. Soon, he was lying next to you in bed. Planting kisses on your forehead and whispered a small thank you and I love you to you. It felt perfect; you in his warmth, not caring about the world and its problems— because what’s important right now is just the two of you.

PRESENT DAY.

After you thanked Johnny for giving you a ride to the hospital, you rushed to the entrance. Stopping for a second to remove your heels and once you held them in your hands, you were unstoppable. The elevator was taking far too long to arrive so you chose to take the stairs as Jaehyun’s bedroom was located on the third floor only. After opening the emergency stairwell’s door, you stopped to catch your breath and walked to his room where your brothers were waiting for you outside.

“What happened?”

Doyoung turns around and sees you holding your heels, yet ignores the judgment he did as whatever he was about to comment did not matter right now. “It’s been thirty minutes, the doctors still hasn’t come out.” He says, “But I came to check up on him just as you asked me to, I told Gongmyung to come with me and after 10 minutes we were inside the room, we noticed his hand move as well as his vital signs.”

You plop on the chair beside you, catching your breath properly this time. The elevator door opens and spits out Johnny, holding your bag. Thankfully, Doyoung was a quick-thinker. He was quick enough to change the subject and got Johnny out of the scene before the man finds out the reason why you were in a rush to go to the hospital. 

A number of doctors and nurses exit Jaehyun’s room, and call for you and Gongmyung. “Do you mind if we enter the room altogether?” Dr. Park asks, the two of you nodded and entered the room. “Jaehyun, the people who stood as your guardians for the past few weeks are here. Your sister is on her way here according to the assistant nurse.”

Jaehyun had a confused look on his face as he stared at you, he was staring for so long that you were starting to get nervous. “If you mind me asking Jaehyun, do you remember them?”

“M-my boss, Kim Donghyun.”

“What about her?”

He frowns, as if he was trying to find the words he wanted to say. “I don’t know her.” except the one he said shattered your heart in just a second. “I-is he Mr. Gongmyung’s girlfriend?”

The doctor smiles and shakes his head, asking more  personal questions relating to him and even from his childhood. “You did a great job, Jaehyun. Thank you for answering.” He said, “Mr. and Ms. Kim, could we step out of the room for an explanation?”

“What was that, Doc? Why can’t he remember me?” You asked the moment Dr. Park closes the door.

“Jaehyun has traumatic amnesia— that is the result of the accident. As you know, amnesia involves losing an individual’s memory. That includes his memories from his childhood and some recent events.” Dr. Park explained, “If I may ask, Ms. Kim, what is your relationship with the patient and how long have you known him?”

Your eyes widened and looked at your brother. “He’s uh, he’s my bodyguard and we’ve known each other for 4 years now.”

Dr. Park nodded his head, “I see, but you do have to know that due to the severity of his head injury, it might take a while before he remembers most of his memories, but this is also just temporary. Amnesia does not have medications to help the patient restore the lost memories, but you may help him remember some of it by reminding him of the things he experienced or liked like music, movies, and even food. Meanwhile, the patient is doing well now as per his condition, but I suggest giving him a few more days here in the hospital for him to fully recover. He’s been in a vegetative state for quite a while.”

“Thank you for explaining, Dr. Park.”

The doctor nods his head and walks away, leaving you and your brother in the hallway. Just in time for Doyoung to return from his mission to get rid of Johnny. 

“I’m just… I’m just gonna go get some fresh air.” You say, putting on your shoes and walked away. You hear your brothers call for you, but you tuned out and head off to the elevator.

“What happened?” asked Doyoung, “Is Jaehyun alright?”

“Yeah, he is. But Dr. Park said that he’s suffering from amnesia, he remembers me and most of his memories, but none from his childhood and the past 4 years. He doesn’t remember Y/N.”

“What are we going to do about it?”

“I have no idea, Doyoung.”

You needed air, but you also needed to let out your anger. After running away and staying in your brother’s condominium, you finally had the strength to return home and face your father. You hand the cab driver a wad of cash, exiting the car and walked to the gates of your house with an exasperated face. You were almost a hundred percent sure that since you left, you were a persona non-grata in this household, but the guards were quick to open the gates for you. Even the maids who were cleaning the living room were shocked to see you enter the house and quickly pointed your parents’ direction when you asked them where they were. 

You barged in the small function room you have, you weren’t aware that your parents have visitors but that was the last thing you’d think of right now. What’s more important is what you have to say. Your mom’s eyes widened when she saw your presence, your father stopped drinking his whisky.

“Are you happy, Dad?” You say, voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “Are you happy that your plan worked?”

“Y/N,” Your mother warned, “Not now.”

“Why not now, Mom? Are you scared that everyone in this room will know that Dad is responsible for putting me and my bodyguard in that accident? That he was the main reason why my bodyguard is in the hospital with amnesia right now and was almost on the brink of death?”

Loud gasps echo the room, and whispers spread like wildfire. Your father was not best at hiding his emotions, when he’s mad, he’s mad as hell. He couldn’t believe that now that you are older, you’re able to look at his eyes and have the power to shame him and have the power to speak the truth in front of a lot of people. He hated that you could now look straight into his eyes and tell the world what kind of father he was. And that is why his defense was to slap you across the face, so hard that the skin of his hand and your cheek made a loud noise. 

“What kind of daughter are you, bringing shame into this family by dating a bodyguard?”

“Really, Dad? You’re asking me that when you should’ve asked yourself, what kind of person are you? How do you sleep at night knowing you almost took your own daughter’s life, and another person’s life?” You sob, turning your heels to look at the people inside the room. Your eyes met their judging gazes, “What you heard is the truth. My own father plotted an attempted murder to me and my bodyguard. The news that said the cause of my car accident was unknown? That’s because my parents wouldn’t disclose the truth to the media. They’re ashamed of what the public would think of our family, knowing that I am dating an average guy, hell, my own bodyguard.”

Silence surrounded the room as you walked away. People were astounded and speechless as they looked at your parents in disgust. As you reach the doors of your house, you wonder where did your confidence to face your father come from? And quickly, you realized it was all the pent up anger you’ve been hiding from him all these years. It felt like a thorn was pulled out of your chest, yet everything was still a mess.

Now that the truth is out, what will happen to you? You were a hundred percent sure that by tomorrow, headlines will spread about your family and your current relationship status. But with Jaehyun suffering from amnesia, what would be your relationship with him now? Will your relationship switch from being lovers to strangers? Will he continue working for you and your family? You didn’t know what the set up would be.

You return back to your brother’s condominium, unable to think straight and sleep after what happened today. It was already 12 midnight, and you find yourself sitting by the window, downing a bottle of wine as you cry. Why was the world unfair? All you wanted was to be happy with Jaehyun, and nothing else. So what is it that you did in your life, that its consequence was to withhold your happiness with Jaehyun?

“Sir Gongmyung,” Jaehyun called, causing your brother to turn his head around. Three days have passed since he woke up and is now getting ready to be discharged. “I cannot express how grateful I am for… um… you paying for my hospital bills.”

“It’s nothing, Jaehyun. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, sir—”

“No, Jaehyun, everything’s settled. You don’t have to,” Gongmyung gave him a warm smile, and waited for the nurses to give them the go signal to exit the premises. “Although are you sure you’re fine going back to your job? You can rest for a while before going back, we’re not in a rush to have you back after all.”

“I don’t think I can rest, sir. It’s my job to protect you all and I’m pretty sure I’m okay going back right away.”

THREE YEARS LATER.

How long has it been since you left Korea?

It’s been a good three years since you left without saying a word, charging your father for attempted murder, winning the case and finally putting him to jail like he deserves. Haneul was still in business, thanks to your brothers’ hard work and dedication — it wasn’t easy but they made it possible. You were 27 when you left, and now you’re returning as a 30-year-old woman who now owns her own company, not affiliated with her father’s company and name. As the plane lands in Korea, you remember returning here when you were 23. A young, naive woman who had no idea what her future was like. The young woman only wanted to date freely without having everyone question her.

Doyoung had picked you up from the airport, driving you back to the apartment you bought in Gapyeong where you plan to stay for a while after finishing a huge movie. For a woman in her early 30s, directing your first movie felt good and knowing it was a blockbuster around the world boosted your confidence even more. That being said, all the hard work you’ve done for the past three years, you deserve a break. Going back to Korea was both painful and wonderful. You were going back knowing that you’ve healed some parts of you that were once broken, and you were going back to pick up the remaining pieces you’ve left there. 

“You sure you’re going to be okay here?” asked your brother as he pushed your last luggage inside the apartment, “Because I can take a few days off at work to stay with you here, even Jina can stay with you”

You let out a chuckle, shaking your head no. “I’ll be fine, I’ve been living abroad alone for three years. Pretty sure I can handle myself now.” You reply, “Besides, Jina is pregnant. I don’t want to be an inconvenience to the two of you.”

“You’re not an inconvenience, Y/N. You’re my sister and Jina misses you.”

“Doyoung, I really will be okay here. I’ll visit you whenever I can, but for now I really want to be alone” You persuade.

“Alright,” Your brother sighs, “The car you’ve asked for will be delivered here tomorrow. Be sure to wake up early for that, alright? I’m pretty sure I’ve asked them to deliver that at 9 a.m.”

You nodded your head and caged your brother into a hug, “Thank you… like seriously. For still taking care of me even if you already have your own families.”

“You’re our sister, you’re still our family.”

Doyoung left you alone inside the apartment, it was already 10 in the evening when you were finally done putting your things away. You open a bottle of wine and sat by the window of your apartment, enjoying the late night sky. As you finish your first glass, you couldn’t help but think of your ex — wait, was he your ex? There was no official breakup after all, there was no breakup to start with as he was suffering from amnesia during that time. You couldn’t help but chuckle and tear up, you avoided Jaehyun so much that time when you were attending court trials, and even avoided him when he tried to talk to you. 

Gongmyung said that after a year, he left his job and opted to work for the company his sister had recommended to him. You badly missed him, but you’re unable to do anything. You lost contact and everything with him. Jeong Jaehyun, maybe in another lifetime. You thought as you downed another glass of wine.

When the car Doyoung bought for you arrived, you wasted no time and headed off to the place you missed the most. The place you spend your happy and sad days. The place that brought you so much joy and so much pain. You noticed a lot has changed in the span of a few years of not visiting, there were a lot of tourists as expected. Families, couples, groups of friends — you smiled at the sight of them because everyone looked so happy. You sat on a vacant bench, watching the water and listening to the autumn breeze. You were back here, in the same exact spot you cried to your brothers when you found out the truth about your father. 

“I knew I’d find you here” You froze, you haven’t heard that voice in years. “Y/N…”

You didn’t want to turn around, you wanted to, but you weren’t sure if you could. Am I hallucinating? You thought, shutting your eyes close as well as your hands. This can’t be real. You thought again.

“Kim Y/N, the woman I love… you’re here again.” You gulped at the sentence, this really can’t be real. This is some fucked up shit. I’m dreaming. “My former boss who hated me, my former boss who took my first kiss on this island, my former boss who confessed to me on Jeju Island, my love who loved forget me nots.”

You could feel your heart beat faster as you heard him walk closer and closer like his voice. You still couldn’t turn your head around, you wouldn’t open your eyes. “My love who left me three years ago and returned…” At this point, you wanted to cry. He remembers, “My love, I can now remember you…”

You could feel his presence in front of you, his hands were on your knees as you quietly sobbed. The man you’ve been thinking of last night was in front of you, holding you, yet you refuse to believe it. “Y-you’re not real…” You say, hearing him chuckle.

“I am real,” He says, “and I can remember you now… your name is Y/N Kim, graduated from a university somewhere in Europe, daughter of a business tycoon. Y/N Kim who never failed to visit me in the hospital when I was in coma, Y/N Kim who took my first kiss… You’re Y/N Kim whom I loved the most three years ago, and I still do until now.”

Finally, you open your eyes and see the person in front of you. Jaehyun looked so different compared to what he looked like before you left. He looked much mature now, wearing his casual clothing and not his usual tuxedo back when you were still dating. Jaehyun smiles at you as you stare into his eyes, he wipes a tear that escaped your eye and leaned towards you to plant a kiss on your forehead. “I thought you forgot about me… what about your amnesia?”

“I started remembering the things we’ve shared together a month after you left the country…” He said, “Your brothers were a huge help as well. They were the ones who told me that you are my girlfriend, they were the ones who told me about our accident.”

“B-but…”

“I remember everything now, my love.” He said, connecting your lips together, “I will never forget you now.”

COPYRIGHT © THEJE0NGS. 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.

#cznnet #kflixnet #neohub #nct-writers #nctcreations18 #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #nct 127 smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct ff #nct x you #nct x reader

[8myass]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅ hi, y'all! i'm new to this community and i just wanted to do a little "intro to my account" post with a bit about me and my writing! `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ my name is lele, i go by she/her pronouns, and i'm 18 y/o, but i've been writing (and reading) fanfics for years. `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ this is an 18+ account for the mature themes written. i know minors will read anyway, so just read responsibly and understand what you're getting into. there should be no shocker when there is smut in a smut story. `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ i follow everyone back! `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ will include a lot of dark content, fluff isn't my strong suit. `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ works are scheduled to be posted every saturday and sunday (hopefully). `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ if you enjoy my works, please like, comment feedback, and reblog! that would be very much appreciated!! 🩵 `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ requests are open! `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ prompts for requests are found here, but any requests are appreciated ♡. requests will be answered out of order, so it might take a bit for me to wrack my brain of good content to answer requests! `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ anons are welcomed. `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ currents anons are: 🧺 `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ taglist is open!

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- what i won't write: strictly bxb content (i'm inexperienced, maybe i'll try it in the future, also might be on sidelines of stories), incest, mpreg, male reader for smut (as i am not male, i deem it hard to write the mc as a male. but gender neutral is okay), nothing much that i won't really write. ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- what i do write: gxg, stepcest, age gaps (legal), infidelity/cheating, noncon (no consent given), dubcon (consent is questionable), cnc (roleplayed noncon scenarios, but it's fully consensual), bondage, any kink you can think of (no piss/shit kinks tho 😐), pegging, dom!reader, switch!reader, yandere, stalkers/stalking, gore, knife play, gun play, sensory play, branding, murder (not of mcs), omegaverse / a/b/o (never written before, i can't promise it'll be good, but i can try??), dacryphilia, unprotected sex, breeding, voyeurism/exhibitionism, blackmail, sensory deprivation, femdoms (whether this means reader or idol), g!p, anal, threesomes/foursomes/anysomes rly, orgies/gangbanging, monster fucking??? idk ig that's all for now, i'm willing to try everything at least once, i'm a rather experimental writer. if it's not listed, i will probably write it anyway lmao. ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- genres i write: smut (w or w/o plot, preferably w), fluff, angst, horror/thriller, suggestive, crack, honestly just anything (always experimenting). ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- what i write: series (possibly), drabbles, oneshots (less than 4k words), fake texts, headcannons, hard/soft thoughts, full-fics (more than 4k words). ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- boy groups i write for: nct (all units; nct dream, nct 127, wayv, nct wish but only fluff for all minors), riize, seventeen, stray kids, txt. however, i'll write for any boy group! these are just the only ones that my brain typically needs no help in coming up with ideas for. male soloists can be written for as well! (ngl, i just write for anyone i feel like, so any group is open for requests) ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- girl groups i write for: (g)i-dle, aespa, blackpink, itzy, newjeans (only fluff for hyein and haerin), le sserafim (only fluff for eunchae), twice, and mamamoo. (kard can also be requested as a co-ed group, female soloists are all able to be written for as well) (i really just write for anyone, so anyone is open for requests too)

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ you can find my male idol masterlist here and my female idol masterlist here! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ recent works: nct 2023 yandere headcannons, suicidal (yandere!felix) ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ what i'm currently working on: your touch (yandere!anton) [wip, but on hold]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ jaehyun 2024 birthday event!! [m.list for event can be found here] (on hold)

#[ lele talks 🐝 ] #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #wayv #nct wish #stray kids #riize #seventeen #txt #skz #svt #(g)i-dle #aespa #itzy #newjeans #mamamoo #twice #le sserafim #kard

[nctsworld]

GIFSETS: 148 FANFICS: 3 FOLLOWERS: 10K+ STATE OF MIND: SURPRISINGLY GREAT!

this will be a modified version of what people have been tagging me as i'm inconsistent with posting and i'm a hybrid cc.

thank you so much to @bethereforme (lia's year in review), @jjsungie (angi's year in review), @lee-minhoe (mel's year in review), @ambivartence (siyuan's year in review), and @fadedinmysong (n's year in review) for tagging me! love you all ♡

TOP GIFSETS THIS YEAR:

mark on expectations for him vs. his brother - nct 127: the lost boys ep. 1

mark + the compression sweater // mix&max choreo-record

xiaojun // nct nation: tokyo

xiaojun // i'll pick you up [the show 230704]

johnny on taeil's role in nct 127 - nct 127: the lost boys ep. 2

johnny x longines x esquire korea

doyoung in the black turtleneck for anadktfab series

mark - golden hour || favourite lyrics

j³ + glasses // dream loop: the last midnight #1

jaemin - areanahomme+ china behind

SETS THAT DESERVE MORE LOVE:

jeno x the black tank top // nct nation 2023

johnny + yangyang + jaemin from nct connection 2023 (it never showed up in the tags T_T)

mark's birthday set

best nct 127 album

quick workout with jaehyun!

that one renjun fancam for anadktfab series

NOTES ON GIFSETS THIS YEAR:

as y'all can tell, i make the most sets during my break time from work LMAO i cannot believe i've made almost 150 sets this year! during summer, i'm pretty sure i made almost 1-3 on average a day haha. as many have mentioned, it's disheartening to see the notes on the sets, but we do it cause we love to, right?

FICS THIS YEAR:

fever pitch - pro!baseball player mark

at your earliest convenience - in which haechan asks convenience store clerk!reader on a date

8:38pm - dance and college au with jisung (pwp)

NOTES ON FICS THIS YEAR:

i am so happy that fever pitch got so much love because it took me two years since beautiful mv came out to finish it. it's now officially my second most popular fic on this blog! i'm also pleased people enjoyed ayec; it was just a cute little fun fic. i really hope i continue writing the connection series and i hope to post at least one christmas fic soon! (i also have a slytherin!yangyang fic in the works too...)

LAST NOTES:

a big thank you for all of you who follow me and support me, whether it be for my gifs or stories or both! i can't believe i hit 10k followers this year - that's crazy! i know i had the celebration, but i honestly had only 2-3 requests, so it was a bit disheartening and a little embarrassing for me to want to do it TT nonetheless, i love you all! have a safe, happy holidays and i wish you the best for next year ♡

TAGGING (if you've done this already, ignore my tag + on the flipside, if you decide to do this, please see the other year in reviews i linked for a different version!):

@huangrenjuns @hyuckworld @hy-ck @neocitycafe @neoneun-au @sehunniepot @twiceland

#cee.txt #year in review #cee's 2023 year in review

[struggling-intuit]

jung jaehyun

an 18+ headcanon || of his relationship with patience

dean || D (half moon)

wc || 0.5k

warnings || OOP MISS MINOR I CAUGHT YOUUUU; femme!reader (hit me up for a gn! or masc! headcanon), "woman" is used, handcuffs but on him, reader does domestic things of her own volition, friends-to-lovers, reader is fully unbothered lmao, voyeurism kinda in spirit, jay thinks a bit too much about you :)

There’s honestly something so voyeuristic about this man… must be the twelfth house stellium talking. 

Jaehyun’s approach to relationships doesn’t feel as patient as it does wary. And part of him likes feeling a teensy on edge, mostly because it gives him a reason to watch. 

He wants to get to know you, have fun without the pressure of confessing or committing. It’s all very friends-to-lovers coded. 

He’s seduced by how casual you are with him, you who brushes his antics right off, you who doesn’t waste a second glance over your book, you who makes him wait. You’re busy, and he likes that. A working woman, yes, you’re put together, but you dropped those customer-service mannerisms soon after you met him. Did you ever use them?

You don’t have your usual guard up around him, but he’s not getting special treatment. Somehow that dry, disinterested tone you take with him turns him on. And you’re so warm and genuine with others. How do you do that? Why is he different?

And when you start doing little domestic things like it’s nothing? Cooking breakfast in the morning, scrubbing the table in an oversized hoodie he wishes was his, wiping a smudge off his face or picking something from his bangs as he looks down into an apathetic gaze nearly hidden by those long-ass lashes you glue on every morning...

He savors every tiny glimpse of passion that lights up your eyes. He can’t wait to be the one who does that to you from now into forever, at least the fantasy forever he’s currently replaying over and over in his head–

He won't do anything. Not now because not acting on this not-so-secret infatuation makes the dream all the more tantalizing. He likes to watch you anyway, so waiting isn’t a problem.

But tell him to wait when he’s at the foot of your bed, and the barely-trained golden retriever energy will come out full-force. You may want to cuff him to keep his excitement in one place. Actually, the clink of metal around his wrists might intrigue him enough that he actually listens, at least for a little bit. He’s simple like that.

I can see that itty-bitty smile as he looks up at you, hands bound loosely and held to the front of him. He brings them up to his chest, looks at them, tests the resistance. He decides to play along. You can tell by his chuckle, all husky and shit under his breath. The softness of it rocks you to your core.

Or maybe you’d get on top and pin him by the wrists. He won’t even resist, splayed out at your mercy, smiling to himself.

He wants to see what you’ll do. It’s the perfect position for that sort of thing.

click here for main masterlist

and here for nct masterlist

Like and subscribe for more or whatever the youtubers say

#and it intuits #18+ readings #jaehyun #jaehyun nct #jung jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun headcanons #nct 127 #nct smut #nct headcanons #nct hard hours #nct hard thoughts #kpop smut #intuition #reading people

[rosewould]

cynics; jns

part vii

masterlist

words; 8.6k

genre; angst!

warnings; self-destructive behavior, mentions of alcohol, mentions of and implied sex, poor mental health, did I miss anything

preface; a song that goes well with this chapter is 'blue ocean floor' by justin timberlake of all people. also are you guys angry about what mc did in this chapter T___T if so which thing LMAO

In school, Jaehyun was an awkward, spindly kid with an unfortunate haircut. You never batted an eye, you were all pretty unfortunate in high school. But you never noticed just how awkward you were until looking back at pictures stuffed in your closet. Taking a look through that shoebox was like entering a time machine. You hadn’t looked at them in ages. They just made you too sad. And while they still squeeze at your heart, you can’t help but laugh. The fact that the three of you were bullied and still felt confident enough to pose in pictures like this was bizarre.

The two of you drifted apart so vastly that you hadn’t thought to check out his streams. You wonder what he looks like now. Did he fill out and get taller like Johnny? Maybe he even got more attractive. Something he and Johnny would have in common as well. You decide to let yourself be surprised when he came.

While you waited, Jaehyun was downtown waiting as well. He turns when he hears a surprised voice call his name and sees Johnny. His hair is longer and he had a little stubble coming along. He looked completely taken aback by how Jaehyun changed.

“Look who’s not scrawny anymore!” he laughs as the two clasp each other by the hand and pull the other into a half hug. Johnny pulls back, seeming genuinely happy as he smiled. 

“I would say the same about you, but you're getting there.” Jaehyun teases.

“Get out of here.” Johnny dismisses the jab. The friends find themselves falling right back to the way things were, feeling natural around each other like no time passed. Laughing and bantering in the corner of Johnny’s local coffee shop. The three of you were inseparable as kids. Your bond wasn’t as strong as you and Johnny’s alone, but it was nothing to sneeze at. 

You both considered him your second closest friend. He left before you met Taeyong. Johnny falters for a moment, expression going sour as he considers that might have been for the best. Though Johnny missed him dearly, it would be selfish to wish he were still around to endure this whole shitshow. He wonders if he was given the chance to change the past, would he make Jaehyun stay? Act with the same selfishness that hurt you? 

“What’s on your mind? Must be so much.” Jaehyun asks in concern. Johnny sighs, forcing a smile. 

“I just wonder what would’ve happened if you didn’t leave every now and then.” Johnny responds, pretending his thoughts were solely fond memories of their friendship.

“The moment I boarded that plane, I was thinking about all the things I was already missing. What if your stream blew up without me? What if you replaced me with another friend?” He gives a short laugh before his face hardens a bit. “But most of all, I kept worrying about if you guys would be okay. I had nightmares one of you got really hurt by Hyojong and Hyuna. I felt like I abandoned you guys.” It was so far in the past, yet Johnny could tell a part of Jaehyun still felt bad. It did get worse right after Jaehyun left, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“You don’t need to worry about us. We did just fine. She was stronger than me, she’s the reason we didn’t have to deal with them any more actually.” Johnny recollects that fateful time. The moment Taeyong came into your lives, things started changing around you. Not Hyojong and Hyuna, they were persistent and thought no one could touch them. After all, they were delinquents, Taeyong was a star student heartthrob. Saying their paths didn’t cross would be an understatement. So they didn’t know who they were dealing with.

After they disappeared from school things started to look up. People didn’t just start acknowledging you and Johnny, no, they were sucking up to you. How common is it for peasants to shoot up to nobility? You actually did it. You made it so that the two of you weren’t afraid to go to school.

He never quite thanked you for that.

“Tell me more, I need to know the events that led to this.” Jaehyun leans forward in intrigue and concern. Johnny nips at his bottom lip. Maybe it’s for the best he doesn’t tell everything.

-

You set your coffee down and rush to the door at the sound of a knock. Opening the door revealed a man only described in romance novels. Your smile falls as you take in his appearance. “...Jaehyun?”

“I’m a little offended I’m not getting hugged right now.” Jaehyun outstretches his arms with a pretend pout. Though he doesn’t look the same, he sure acts the same. You roll your eyes and hug him, making him drop the pout in favor of a warm smile.

“This is more than a glow up, it’s witchcraft.”

As he pulls away his smile fades slightly as he gets a good look at you. He doesn’t pick fun at your appearance like he did Johnny. You notice his shift in mood and get confused.

“You’re still as beautiful as I remember. Even more beautiful, actually.” You brush off his compliment as if you’re not utterly touched and invite him in. It was sweet on its own, but you could hear how genuine the compliment was. It made you feel warm and fuzzy. Pathetic.

“I would ask you how you’re doing but I’ve already heard from literally everyone else.” He settles next to you on the couch. “Everyone can’t stop raving about you. It makes me so happy to hear you’re doing well.”

“You’re buttering me up.” You say, shyly looking to the side. You go to take a sip from your cup before remembering you have a guest. “You want some coffee?”

“No thanks, I’m all coffee’d out now.” He declines politely. From having coffee with Johnny you presume. You open your mouth to ask about it but decide to let it be. 

“You don’t want to know from where? With who?” Jaehyun tilts his head forward to catch your gaze. “You’re not going to ask how meeting your ex was?”

“Oh– seriously Jaehyun cut it out!” You slap his shoulder, pulling a laugh from his chest. 

“As if you guys weren’t always on the verge of kissing-” 

You find yourself easily manhandling this beautiful man as if time never passed. “I’m gonna fuck you up.” You mutter as you grab his collar.

“Okay! Okay. I’m sorry. That’s like the only explanation that makes sense. If not, then what happened?”

You unhand him and settle back into your spot. He didn’t tell him. You feel yourself start to get worked up. You want to tell Jaehyun every horrible name he called you. Tell him about all the times he called you fat. Tell him how he laughed when those idiots ridiculed you. You feel like you’re right on the edge of ruining his relationship with Jaehyun for good. But you stop. 

“Whatever happened I just… he’s not doing well.”

You look over at him, witnessing the playful atmosphere slowly dissipate. “I don’t want to impede on your personal conflict, but it just sucks seeing him like this. He seemed fine at first, I was worried after talking to him on the phone. It sounded like he was just crying.”

You shift uncomfortably. You never thought about how all of this might be affecting him. You wanted to be smug about it. It’s what he deserves, right?

“But after we hung out for a while, he just seems like he slowly started to show signs that he was suffering.”

There was no way you’d tell Jaehyun now. Not when there was still a part of you that wanted to prevent bad things from happening to Johnny. It was so easy for Johnny to push aside your well-being for personal gain. Why can’t you be as selfish?

“I won’t be here forever and I don’t know who else he can trust around here. Do you know anyone that can help?”

“I’m not sure.” You dismiss him quickly. It was a bit cold, but you’ve already had your fill of helping Johnny to last you a year. He should be lucky you’re not airing his ass out. With nothing to fill your thoughts, your mind travels to his lack of support. His parents want nothing to do with him after their huge fight over his career choice. The three stooges are gone. He never liked Taeyong much. Mark made his severed ties public. And you were one of the first to go.

Simply blaming it on karma is a temporary solution to your worries, but in your heart was a subtle pain just noticeable enough. Your mind keeps picturing a desolate Johnny lifelessly ambling around his house.

But you promised yourself going forward you’d invest more time and love for the people who return just as much. Jaehyun traveled here to see you and you’re stressing over a dead man. It was time to get serious.

-

Today is a special day. You hit five hundred thousand followers last week and the numbers were still climbing at the speed of light. You’ve never been on a podcast before. You’ve never even had connections to streamers outside your group before. Everything is changing so quickly.

“We’re here with the hot topic these days ladies and gentlemen.” The podcast host and co-host smile in your and Mark’s direction. The host was a burly man with a commanding presence, his co-host being his polar opposite. From his higher voice to his tendency to look for approval. “We have two members of the hottest crew on Twitch, the Dreamies. Could you introduce yourselves for us?”

The two of you take turns saying your name and handle before the room filled with light applause. The podcast set was very modest. Instead of feeling stuffy, it made for a more relaxing experience. They showered you and Mark with endless compliments, pouring over your achievements and mentioning your impact on the platform.

“I mean, you guys have a proper fandom.” The co-host notes, “Shipping and all.” Both hosts laugh at the way you cringe at the word.

“Yeah… Mark and I have seen the… art.” They laugh even harder at the way you dodge the word you’re all thinking. Despite the shipping, you have very few complaints. You’re finally getting recognition for your skill, your comments and overall community are less bigoted, and you even got recognized in daily life more. You were investing more in yourself and the universe was rewarding you for it.

“Now, not to dampen the mood, but we have to talk about the ginormous elephant in the room.” The host cuts through your laughter with a serious tone. You look at him questioningly, trying to remember if any of the topics you were briefed on were serious.

“You two used to be in Taeyong’s circle, am I correct?”

Your mouth hangs open, nothing but panicked laughter coming through. You can feel Mark peeking over at you.

“Yeah, but I think we’ve said our piece on the matter.” Mark interjects, trying to shut it down before it even began.

“Well you did, but she didn’t.” The co-host gives you a look as if to suggest you’re hiding something. “She’s been the most quiet despite being one of the most speculated aspects of this debacle.” The host talks to Mark before looking at you. “You were the first one to leave that circle. They weren’t exactly Dreamies level, but they were pretty popular. There had to be a reason you’d risk losing eyes to leave.”

After still only coming up with um’s and awkward laughter the host throws his hands up to surrender. “Hey, don’t feel pressured to answer. I’m just sharing what I found odd.”

“No it’s fine, I just look at what happened behind the scenes as personal.” You finally answer.

“At least give us this, does it have anything to do with these Lucas rumors we’re hearing?”

“Lucas rumors…?” You knit my brows together as you look to them for further deliberation.

“You didn’t hear?” The co-host continues when you shake your head, “Twitter has been exploding because of what other streamers had to say about him. Said he was hard to work with, shit-talked them behind their backs, and would even make degrading comments to their face at times.”

“I didn’t believe it at first, I know he’s getting accused as well but I always thought he was a charismatic guy. After a few people I trusted seconded those accounts my jaw hit the floor. Is that true to your experience?”

Coming out and slandering the boys would be pretty dumb on your part. People are waiting for the chance to lash out at any woman streamer on the rise, and your words could easily be turned against you. But if thinking Lucas is an asshole is the popular opinion, you needed to jump at this opportunity.

“You know what? Yes. Absolutely. All of that rings true. I didn’t want to start drama but if other people are coming forward the damage is already done.”

“Yeah, Lucas was definitely a huge jerk.” Mark adds. As you and Mark share a look, you take a guess you share the same thought as well. What about the others?

“So then I was right? That’s the reason you left?” The host leans forward with a hopeful look. No, not entirely was the correct answer. There were three more reasons you left. However, adding more details was potentially messy. Here you had a clean way to get somewhat justice for what happened to you. Plus, to suddenly start bashing everyone could paint you as spiteful and disingenuous. 

“Yup. That’s the reason.”

For the rest of the interview you can sense that Mark has something to say to you. It doesn’t surprise you that he’s turning to face you as soon as the cameras are off.

“Why did you lie?” He whispers.

“I didn’t lie.” You reply nonchalantly.

“Lucas was not why you left.”

“He was one of ‘em.” You shoot him a look that communicates how little you want to have this conversation before standing up. Mark follows you all the way out of the studio. 

“You know they’re looking for more people for their group now, right? Meaning more people for them to break down.”

“I’m,” You stop, letting the information fully develop in your brain before continuing. “If that does happen then that’s really upsetting-”

“If?” Mark asks incredulously.

“It’s my choice to come forward about the shit that happened to me.” You stop walking and raise your voice. You peer around nervously at the people glancing at you.

“It didn’t just happen to you, though! They treated me horribly as well! And it only got worse after you left. Hell, Lucas, Doyoung, and YangYang even gave Johnny a hard time.”

“What?!” The exclamation comes out before you even process it. Their best friend? The one they used to laugh it up with?

“Yes! Why else do you think I left?”

“I don’t know, because of the way they treated your friend?”

Mark’s face untenses immediately, his mouth falling open in shock. Mortification takes root before he drops his head with a sigh.

“Do you think I didn’t notice your little awkward laughs?”

“I… ah fuck- I’ve been meaning to apologize for that. I was so scared they’d lash out at me if I spoke out.”

“Well,” You exhale sharply and drop your shoulders. “I guess we both have selfish reasons for our decisions.” You turn and continue walking to Mark’s car. You hope that was the last of that conversation, that it’s all out of his system now. 

When he enters the driver's side he sits in silence for a beat before turning to you. “I’ve only known you for two years or so, but I still somewhat witnessed how they beat you down.”

You sigh loudly, sinking into your chair. 

“There’s some bright-eyed small streamer in line to be crushed in the same way.” He hesitates before continuing, “I know what you’re afraid of.”

You look over at him cautiously.

“You’re afraid people are going to turn against you, or that you’ll somehow fuck things up. That seed of doubt wasn’t planted by you. I felt the same way, it was the reason I sat dormant for so long. Then that night happened where the boys came to “apologize”. I thought I overheard them plotting in the car but brushed it off. Then I saw YangYang making a move on you and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” Mark taps his index finger against the steering wheel.

“I stopped doubting myself when it felt like it was getting out of hand. I mean, they already destroyed your sense of self, and now they were ready to do more damage? It seemed inhumane.” Mark stops, his eyes wandering. He felt uncomfortable with your silence but pressed on nonetheless. With a sigh, he starts the engine.

“I just don’t think people should get away with stuff like that.” 

-

Jaehyun had been insisting to meet up with Johnny every day. They would go from place to place, but never home. 

“We can go to your hotel if that’s what you’d like.” Johnny shrugs, avoiding eye contact.

“That is not what I mean. And what do you mean my hotel.” Jaehyun shifts uncomfortably on the hard bench. He could not understand why they were at a park right now. If there were a place that could be described as “not their scene”, the first place Jaehyun would think of would be a park. Jaehyun thinks for a moment before looking at Johnny confusedly.

“Johnny, are you staying at a hotel?”

Johnny anxiously swirls his vending machine coffee. If he said no Jaehyun would see right through him. He also didn’t want Jaehyun to be offended that he kept that from him. So he just stares into the steaming hot liquid in his cup. 

“Why don’t we go to your hotel?” Jaehyun manages to pull Johnny’s head out of his coffee. Johnny laughs humorlessly and shakes his head.

“Nah, there’s not much to see there. Let’s just go to yours.”

Jaehyun’s hotel is definitely a lot nicer than Johnny’s motel, though that’s not a high bar to reach. The state of Johnny’s living arrangement worried Jaehyun, judging by the loaded silence after Johnny insisted to go to Jaehyun’s.

Thankfully, that feeling quickly subsided after one dunk of Johnny’s head into the water. Johnny springs up with a strong gasp before roughhousing ensued. They were the only two at the pool, so they were free to revert to their childish antics as they pleased. For a sweet moment, Johnny was able to stop worrying. He could just focus on the way the surface of the water crashed against his body before he was submerged. Everything else was muted as he sank to the bottom, encased in a personal bubble. 

It was serene.

He and Johnny got out to rest in the hot tub nearby. They could relax there for a moment before going to his room to play video games. 

“So tell me about this Taeyong fella.” Jaehyun requests as he settles into the water with a grunt. Johnny feels like someone threw ice over his head at the mention of his name. Johnny had just mentioned in passing that he was the reason everything was better for him. He wasn’t looking to expand on that since the details were locked behind a wall preventing him from completely losing it.

“He’s just helped us since around the time you left. It was kind of a “scratch my back I’ll scratch yours” type of thing.”

“I see. How did you guys scratch his?” Jaehyun wades his hands in the water before looking at Johnny. He looks up as he thinks. He never put much thought into how they helped Taeyong. He just always described it as mutually beneficial. Taeyong extending a helping hand to you and Johnny always felt like charity work.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t have to do much. He always seemed very kind. Me and Dejun were talking about how he’s one of the only good-natured large streamers.” Jaehyun smiles to himself before peering at Johnny again. His smile falls when he sees his face. “What’s wrong?”

Taeyong wasn’t a good person. Johnny learned that very quickly. The way he led you on while discreetly insulting you when he thought Johnny couldn’t hear. The way he ignored, downplayed, and even laughed at the toxic behavior around him. All while painting himself as this altruistic angel who looked down on all the immoral people he was surrounded by. But he wasn’t looking down on Johnny and the others. He was using them to make himself look better. That’s why he helped them in high school. He was already seen as a saint, but that act of kindness boosted his status even more. 

“Hey. Is everything okay?” Jaehyun shakes Johnny by his shoulder but he remains in his dazed state.

“Let’s go to the bar.”

-

While it was nice to see Taeyong again, the way Nayeon was smiling at you was making you uncomfortable. You shifted awkwardly in your seat as you let out a small laugh to fill the silence.

“What brings the two of you here today?”

“Why so formal? I’ve only known you forever.” Taeyong laughs before looking at Nayeon. Nayeon laughs as well, as best as she can fake it through her clear unease. 

“Right, right. Mark told me you asked him to come back to the group, so I’m assuming that’s why you’re here.” You look a little let down when Taeyong makes a face as if he’s been caught. After everything Taeyong has done for you you feel bad about turning him down. You have a great thing going. You’re doing what makes you happy, moving to a new chapter in your life. Regressing to the past didn’t fit what you had in mind.

“Guilty. You know I kicked out those three assholes. There’s not only a nicer atmosphere but a lot more space now.”

“Yeah, about that…” 

“I don’t know about you, but I feel so relieved now that they’re gone.” Nayeon adds, placing her hand on Taeyong’s legs. Your disdain for Nayeon had fizzled out a while ago. They seem happy and have been together for a few months now. It was time to grow up and get over this crush. In saying that, something about what she just said made you scowl unintentionally. She seemed pretty close to them when they were here, and now that they’re being dragged by the media she’s against them?

Before you can voice your suspicions, Taeyong is pulling her hand off his lap and placing it on her own. “Didn’t you say you needed to use the bathroom?” The venom in his words makes Nayeon frown, looking at him in confusion. It even catches you off guard. “But you said-”

“You should hurry to the bathroom.” He almost demands. She looks hurt as she agrees. Taeyong was here, smiling and cracking jokes, but there was something forced about it. When you watch him smile, it doesn’t feel too dissimilar to how he usually is. You can’t tell if he’s acting weird right now or if you’re just now picking up on how he’s always been. You get a bitter taste in your mouth and grimace.

“Taeyong, everything okay?” You ask once Nayeon is closed within the bathroom. Taeyong just smiles wider and pats the seat next to him. You quickly move to sit beside him with a worried look on your face.

“Please don’t look so concerned! I’m fine, I just feel like we haven’t been able to hang out recently.” Taeyong throws his arm on the couch behind you. You’re naturally leaning closer to him, it was a habit you never kicked. Being in his proximity let the little girl with a lingering crush loose. It was bittersweet to bask in his presence but remember that it’s all you’ll get. 

There were so many ‘almosts’ and ‘maybes’. You just wondered why after all these years that nothing happened. You could feel that he felt something too.

“Look at you, so cute when something is bothering you.” He slides his hand across your jaw before lifting your chin to look at him. You savor every moment of contact as you look at him through your eyelashes. “Tell me.”

Both Johnny and Jaehyun got better with age, but Taeyong was on a different level. When you saw him in school, you thought an angel had descended and graced you with his presence. Longing gazes at him took up the majority of your time in any class you shared. You stared at pictures of him for hours in the comfort of your bedroom. In your mind, there was no way he could get any better. He was the definition of the perfect man. He only got more handsome while still somehow managing to look like he hadn’t aged at all. He was an enigma. One that was always just out of reach.

If all these things were true, why did you ever get your hopes up to begin with? By dating Nayeon, he’s made it clear how he likes his women. Why would someone hailed as an adonis waste his time on you? 

All this success and you were still questioning your worth.

“I’m sorry, I think you should go-”

“Why?” Taeyong drops his arm onto your shoulder and hugs you closer. You were close enough to feel his breath fanning your face. Jungwoo had been too busy to keep you company. For two weeks you’d been laying awake in a cold bed, trying and failing to get yourself off. 

You were showered by love on a daily basis, online and in real life. Jaehyun is even back to pitch in. Why couldn’t you just be happy about that? You bite your quivering lip as you grab his face and stare into his eyes.

“Because I’m about to do something stupid, and the consequence might just kill me.” You reveal quietly. 

It felt like dozens of tiny needles were puncturing your heart, pushing in deeper with each moment that passes. Your brain goes fuzzy as he presses his lips to yours. There’s a ringing in your ear. The sound of Nayeon leaving the bathroom and promptly leaving your house and slamming the door is muffled. You close your eyes and fade into the kiss.

You feel weightless as he carries you to your bedroom. Pulling away from the kiss feels like losing oxygen. It’s all worth it when you drown in his brown eyes, hopelessly sinking to the bottom. 

Mentally, Johnny is drowning as well. Downing drinks until the room starts spinning. You both float, bodies feeling totally numb. Ears plugged with white noise. It’s serene that way. Whether they were trying to block out their destructive thoughts or high on a feeling they’ve craved for years. It was serene.

That morning you wake up to a warm bed.

-

Johnny wakes up with an extended groan at his throbbing headache. His plasticky pillows were actually quite plush. His covers are nice too. They’re hard to enjoy with his brain pounding against his skull. He reluctantly sits up, taking in his surroundings. He’s not in his motel room. He looks around frantically before finding Jaehyun on the ground with a spare comforter and pillow. He makes a disappointed noise before standing up and nudging him with his foot.

“Hm.”

“Get on the bed.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m leaving anyway.”

Jaehyun sits up with a stretch and yawn before scratching his head. “I’ll drive you.”

“Fine.”

The car ride is quiet. Each time he looks over at Jaehyun he looks like something’s on his mind. 

“Do you remember what you told me last night?”

“Oh god.” Johnny plants his face in his palm with a groan. 

“You told me you really hurt her.”

Johnny halts before slowly bringing his head back up. The car rumbles as it drives, slightly shaking the two men as they sit in silence. Johnny could lie, but why else would he say something like that? Drunk or not.

“The longer you and her stay quiet about what happened, the more worried I get. I’m trying to give you guys your privacy but I’m fucking freaking out. If you two just drifted apart, I wouldn’t mind. I mean, I’d be a little bummed, but that’s it. What’s worrying me is that something bigger might have happened.” Jaehyun grumbles, struggling with one particular thought. “Or that one of you did something bad.” 

Johnny feels nauseous all of a sudden. Something disgusting swirls in his belly as he rolls the windows down. The air doesn’t help the building nausea.

“I can tell you’re remorseful over it, so if you tell me I won’t hate you. I know you’d never purposefully hurt someone.”

“Pull over.” Johnny barely gets out as bile fills his cheeks.

On the side of the road, Johnny keels over and vomits into the patchy green and yellow grass. He retches and retches until all the alcohol is gone from his system. Until all the painful reminders are as vivid as they usually are.

Dropping Johnny off, Jaehyun can finally see how he’s been living. The large motel sign has half its lights dimmed or completely broken. Sparks spray from the back of the poorly supported sign. 

“Did you get kicked out of your home?”

“No, I can’t be there right now.”

“Is there any better alternative than this?” Jaehyun catches up to him as he walks toward the grimy building. Johnny kicks at the ground.

“It’s better this way.” He grumbles. “Easier.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know nor does he need to, but he doesn’t plan on sleeping there tonight anyway. He’ll get drunk and probably pass out there or in his car. 

Many, many shots in Johnny is past the room spinning. His eyes are closed more than they’re open. They feel heavy, like there are weights hanging from his eyelashes. Of course he didn’t register someone calling his name and nudging him. Soon the nudging pulls him out of his numb state and he groans.

“Let me take you home alright? Actually home.”

“No!” Johnny screams, disrupting everyone in the bar. He couldn’t care less, he just rests his head on the bar and resists whoever is tugging him.

-

“You were serious? I thought you were just threatening me. Who was here?” You smirk mischievously at the puzzled man before you.

“It’s not just “who was here” but “who’s gonna be here again tonight”.” You wiggle your eyebrows as Jungwoo’s jaw drops.

“Who?!” Jisoo pipes in.

You bite your lip, trying to build more suspense, but you end up blurting it out. “Taeyong!”

Both of them express utter shock before worry. You roll your eyes. “Guys! He was always the nice one.”

It was no secret that Jisoo and Jungwoo hated most of the people in that group, but they did conceal their distrust of Taeyong. There were no overt signs he was harmful, but he also made no effort to try and stop the torment. What Jungwoo and Jisoo did and what Mark is now doing are the only correct responses to what they put you through. Not giggling and only speaking up when it’s gone too far.

He was the only one out of the group that Jisoo properly met. He came up, introduced himself, and talked about how much of a pity it was that the others pushed you out of the group. Jisoo will never forget how you reacted after she shared that conversation.

“He said that?!” 

It was like you were touched, but more than that, it was like you weren’t certain he felt that way. He made it clear to Jisoo that he completely condemned their actions, but not the person it happened to? His supposed good friend?

“Oh, and I noticed you guys still don’t follow him. You can refollow him now, that incident was ages ago anyway.”

“I don’t know, I’m not too sold on Taeyong just yet.” Jungwoo mumbles.

“Me neither.”

“Guys!” You exclaim desperately. You know they won’t hear any of it but you try nonetheless. You sigh despondently. “I’m happy.”

Jungwoo and Jisoo feel the same dismay and guilt. Things are really looking up for you recently which is an argument for both sides. Finally dating Taeyong after years of a one-sided crush is like a cherry on top of your recent success. However, that could all come toppling down if Taeyong breaks your heart. Neither of them have proof Taeyong is malicious, but they do know you. And they know part of you sees this as proving your worth.

“You have so much going for you right now and you should be proud. Sure, the Dreamies boosted your audience, but your personality and skill are all you. You should be proud.” Jisoo smiles with a nod. That surely wasn’t the response you were expecting. You were proud of yourself. You were also proud of finally getting with Taeyong. You wished you could say both of those things without your confidence faltering. 

“Thank you.” Your phone rings as soon as you finish speaking. You pick it up and smile. “It’s Jaehyun!”

Jisoo and Jungwoo hope their sighs of relief aren’t obvious. 

“Hey!”

“Hey…” Jaehyun sounds apprehensive. “Am I intruding on anything?”

It was getting late, so Jungwoo and Jisoo were probably about to head out. “No, why”

“Are you sure you’re not busy? I really don’t want to bother.”

“It’s fine! What is it?” You chuckle. Jaehyun sighs, you can hear faint music and some sort of groaning.

“Okay, I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t an emergency. I don’t know anyone else in this city.”

“Emergency?”

Jisoo and Jungwoo watch with increased interest as you listen and give answers too vague to gauge what’s going on. “Okay, see you soon.”

“What was that?” Jisoo scoots closer to ask. You bite the inside of your cheek before peering up at her.

“You’re not gonna like it.”

-

Jaehyun met the three of you in the parking lot, looking immediately relaxed upon seeing you. “Thank god you’re here.”

He guides you toward the large man slumped over on the bar. You feel a twinge of a bad feeling. Not in a foreboding sense, just in the sense that you didn’t like seeing your old friend like this. Clearly Jaehyun didn’t either judging by the worry you could sense from across the room. He was a second away from a breakdown. 

“I just- I tried to get some people at the bar to help carry him to the car, but he kept fighting us off. Everyone gave up and I just don’t know what to do.” Jaehyun exhales slowly as he clasps his hand over his head. You could tell he meant the last part in more ways than one. He’s not stressed from this one night, this must be a culmination of all the worry built up over the duration of his visit. 

“Okay.” Jungwoo looks down at Johnny pitifully as he places his hands on his hips. “I’ll help get him into your car, ___ will give you directions, and then– will you be able to carry him into his house?” He turns to you and you nod.

“I think I can manage.”

“I don’t want to go home.” Johnny drones before a childish whine. Jaehyun beckons the three of you toward the edge of the bar. 

“He’s been staying in this gross motel and refuses to go home. I don’t know why he’s doing this, but I think this is why he’s struggling against me.” He whispers.

“How long has he been living in a motel?” Jungwoo asks in disbelief.

“I don’t know, I just found out yesterday. I wondered the same thing but he would never tell me.” Jaehyun shakes his head regretfully.

As if sensing how you were feeling, Jisoo and Jungwoo peer over at you. Jaehyun notices and looks at you as well. You close off your posture, feeling uncomfortably seen. 

“Okay, well if he struggles too much, maybe we can wait until he passes out?” Jisoo suggests with a grimace. It was seeming like the only solution. 

“Or we can just knock him out right now.” Jungwoo mutters before snorting. Jisoo elbows his arm, making him look at Jaehyun’s unamused expression. Jungwoo clears his throat. “Juuust joking.” He forces an awkward laugh. “But yeah, maybe we should wait ‘til he passes out.”

“Let’s try to carry him to the car one more time before trying that plan.”

Jungwoo nods and Jaehyun nods back. They make their way to Johnny, Jaehyun lifts his legs while Jungwoo supports his upper half.

“No! Just leave me here! I’ll sleep here!” 

“No, you won’t.” The bartender quickly shuts down.

Johnny begins the wriggle and the men tighten their grip. Johnny frees one of his hands and flails it around to try and hit Jungwoo in the face. “I’ve been waiting for an excuse to punch you motherfucker.” Jungwoo grits out so only he can hear. Johnny takes a moment to look up at him. He laughs dryly.

“You’re the guy from the photo.” He says with a crooked smile. He stops to think. He’s here and he’s your friend, does Jaehyun know him? Do they all hang out without him? No, Jaehyun would tell him about that. So the only other explanation would be you coming here. He cranes his neck up as far as he can. When he does he sees you there in all your glory. You look good just like the last time he saw you. It’s nice to see you consistently dressing up again. He wonders if your personality had gone back to normal yet. Then you turn your body away from him and put your head down. He must not be drunk enough because he could feel how much that stung.

He had stopped to think about you for so long that suddenly he was in Jaehyun’s car.

Jungwoo shuts the car door before immediately moving to where Jisoo is consoling you. You sigh and shut your eyes as you see him approach. “I’m okay, guys.”

“I know how hard it is to see him like this.” They both pull you into a hug, leaving unspoken how sad it is you still care about him. You watch as they get back into Jisoo’s car and drive away before deciding to board Jaehyun’s. The air is tenser than you expect. You clear your throat as you buckle your seatbelt.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” Jaehyun breaks the silence only for it to resume soon after. Instead of continuing he just starts the car. You know he wants to ask you to keep an eye on him after he leaves.

“Your friends don’t seem to like him.” Jaehyun remarks, trying to be lighthearted but the worry is too potent. 

“Yeah. I think Jungwoo actually hates him.” You trail off, realizing how cold you sound. It’s true, though. Did he want you to think it was unfortunate? You’ve made it clear where you stand. 

“I could tell. He threatened him twice in one sitting. I don’t think he knows I heard the second one.” That earns a chuckle out of both of you. “What’s this I hear about you being in a relationship?”

You look over at Jaehyun confusedly. “Huh?”

“One of my streamer friends heard you were in a relationship. Is that not true?”

Who would’ve said such a thing? Was it Taeyong? You didn’t want to risk looking crazy by telling everyone he was your boyfriend. 

“I mean, I’m trying to get there.” You shrug and he punches your shoulder.

“That’s great news! It was only a matter of time before someone snatched you up. Was it that guy from the bar?”

Johnny was drunk, not deaf. It was not polite to talk about someone when they’re right behind you. But it’s not like Johnny’s ear wasn’t perked up, though.

“No, he’s just a friend. Do you know Taeyong?”

Both Jaehyun and Johnny freeze. Johnny is forced to remember what he was drinking to forget. If there was anyone who’d be hurt by the realization he’d come to, it was you. And now you had pain on a different level to experience. He’s sure you were going to fall in love with Taeyong. He laughs bitterly.

“Fucking Taeyong.”

You roll your eyes.

“He’s been acting a little weird since I brought him up yesterday.” Jaehyun lowers his voice.

“That’s because he’s been jealous of him for years.” You say loud enough for him to hear, even peering at him in the rearview mirror. Johnny gets visibly defensive, unlike the last time the two of you spoke when he was tucking you into bed, acting all hurt. This must be how he really feels.

“Is that why you think I hate that man? Because I’m jealous of how cool he is?” Johnny condescends with his words slurring together.

“What other explanation could there be?”

“I don’t know, that he’s a fucking piece of shit? But no, you never considered that. Not precious little Taeyong. Not even when he was laughing while you got shit on. But no, he doesn’t catch flack for that.”

“And who was shitting on me?” You turn your body to stare straight into his eyes. He falters for a split second but you catch it.

“Guys, please!” Jaehyun begs.

“Go ahead! Tell him! I’m sure he put the pieces together already anyway.”

You gear up to do it. This will be it. It could potentially ruin their relationship for good.

Then he’d have no one. 

You gulp, settling back in your seat. Jaehyun looks between the two of you, waiting for someone to say something. “I have been going crazy this entire trip trying to figure out what the hell happened. Can someone please throw me a bone?” Jaehyun didn’t want to hear if Johnny really fucked up, but not knowing was killing him as well. 

“Just forget it. Turn left here.” You mumble, pointing to the street Jaehyun was approaching.

“He’s going to hurt you bad.” Johnny speaks up again, sounding more distraught than before. You force yourself not to look at him.

“You don’t know anything.” You start bouncing your leg and opt to ignore him. He’s a drunken idiot. You just needed to help get him home and get this over with. Then you could go on with your lives.

“You realize this is the Hyuna situation all over again, right?”

Your leg stops shaking.

“What the hell, Johnny?” Jaehyun peers at him through the mirror to find that there are tears streaming down his face. “I’m serious, what the hell is going on here?!” Jaehyun didn’t know what Johnny was referring to, but you knew exactly what he meant.

“You can’t seriously compare Taeyong to her? He shouldn’t have laughed but that’s nothing compared to what she did.” You breathe out, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Do you not remember comparing me to them? In fact, calling me worse than them? I’m not even saying it about you like you did to me, and you’re acting like you’re hurt?” You try to quip back but he’s sitting up and cutting you off. “You must be elated, right? What did you say that night, that you liked that I felt bad? Well I’m in so much pain that I want to fucking die.” 

Jaehyun pulls over before parking the car. He rests his head on the steering wheel. Of all the things he expected to do during this visit, crying was not one of them. “Jae…” You reach over and rub his back but he shakes his head.

“I’m fine. I think you guys need to get this out of your system. I just… I just need a moment.”

God, look at you. You’re not even drunk so what’s you’re excuse? Arguing with someone so belligerent while your friend expresses over and over how you guys’ behavior is hurting him. 

“I’m sorry Jaehyun.”

He sniffles before taking the car out of park and continuing to drive. The rest of the ride is silent save for your quiet directions. When you make it to his house is when Johnny speaks up again.

“I’m not going in there.”

The two of you ignore him and get out of the car. “Did you hear me?! I’m not getting out!” His muffled screaming becomes clear once you open the backseat door.

“Come on Johnny.” You say exasperatedly as you grab his torso. You hold him as tightly as you can as you pull him out of the car. Jaehyun swiftly grabs his legs. As you start to carry him you quickly realize something is very wrong. He isn’t just wriggling away like he did at the bar.

“Get off of me!” There is vivid panic in his eyes and voice. It sounds like his screams are ripping at his throat. “Let me go!”

The two of you hold his limbs tight and try to get him inside his house as quickly as possible. Every second watching him thrash desperately slashes at your chest. You feel close to just dropping him, but you’re almost there anyway. Why is he resisting so violently?

“I think we should stop-”

“We’re almost there buddy. You need to rest.” Jaehyun pleads with the man but he’s inconsolable. The neighbors would probably think you were kidnapping the poor man. Shit, were you? He’s clearly communicating he doesn’t want to go home. You’ve seen drunk tantrums. What happened at the bar was a drunk tantrum. This was something else.

“Let me fucking go!”

“Johnny what the hell is wrong with you?!” You shout hysterically. He looks up at you with bleary eyes, blubbering for you to just let him go.

When you get to his house and check the doorknob, it’s unlocked. What is going on with him? As soon as you step in the doorway you both gently place him down. The stench makes your eyes water. You cough as you pinch your nose. The stink wasn’t as bad as the feeling in your gut that something was gravely wrong.

Johnny immediately curls into himself and sobs uncontrollably. He rocks back and forth through his hysterics and all you and Jaehyun can do is watch in horror. You crouch down beside him as tears begin pouring down your own face. You can’t form any thoughts. You just watch helplessly as someone you love breaks down completely after you forced him to do something he didn’t want to. 

“I-I just thought he was drunk, I didn’t know…” Jaehyun breathes.

You raise a shaky hand toward Johnny’s head, deliberating for a long time. After deciding, you slowly inch your hand to rest on his hair. It takes you a second to become steady but his sobbing starts to ease up. It was hard to hold your grudge when all you could see in front of you was a flashback to a young, scared Johnny. One who you were used to soothing.

“Everything will be okay.” You whisper shakily. He looks up at you with glassy, tired eyes. He looks the slightest bit relieved. His eyes flutter shut, and for a moment things finally feel peaceful. Then his red eyes open again as if he came to a worrying realization.

“Do you hate yourself because of me?” He asks weakly. 

You bite your lip and look away. You can’t bear to look at him as you shake your head. He sniffles and hiccups as you continue to pet his head.

-

In your living room you can still hear Johnny crying. You just hope he can’t hear you. Jaehyun’s soft voice comforts him as you grip your cover and cry quietly.

-

In the morning Jaehyun was getting ready to leave. He comes to wake you to say goodbye. You give him a tight, lengthy hug before patting his back. 

“Drive safe.” You say hoarsely. Jaehyun clenches his eyes shut, knowing it was because you were crying. He didn’t want to wake Johnny, he desperately needed the rest. He did want to ask you to hug Johnny for him, but he noticed how hesitant you were to even touch his head.

Do you hate yourself because of him? Why did he have to leave…

He’ll definitely have to check in on you two more often after he leaves. Maybe he could somehow piece together what the hell happened while he was gone. What started out as reminiscing on the good times and hanging out like nothing ever changed turned into a nightmare. Were you guys right about the Hyuna and Hyojong comparison? God no, Jaehyun didn’t even want to go down that path.

Jaehyun kisses you on the forehead before leaving.

You sit at your dining room table and stare at the back of the sofa. When was the last time Johnny slept over your house? When was the last time you even spent this much time together? Oh, right.

As you finish up your coffee, he slowly rises from the couch clutching his forehead. He looks around confusedly before standing up.

“Good morning.” You grumble.

He whips around to face you, looking to be embarrassed when he realizes where he was. “God fucking dammit- I’m so sorry you had to deal with me.”

“It’s fine.” You say quietly. After that night it was like something was permanently lodged in your heart, causing a sharp pain that never seems to go away. You’d go through a hundred nights with the toothpick than ever go through that again. That’s the same thing you said when he broke down in school. Yet here you are.

Johnny straightens out his clothes and wordlessly heads toward the door. “Stay.” You say loud enough to stop him. “Have some coffee. You don’t have to rush.”

“It’s fine, I can buy some-”

“I know you don’t have a place to stay.” 

He stops, his mouth hanging open before it snaps shut.

“You can sleep on my couch until you figure it out.”

Johnny felt undeserving, but also completely drained. So he sits across from you as you silently drink coffee. It was harder now to suppress his deep fears. He hurt you, and there was no one left to distract or enable him. He had to face it now. Face you. 

“I’m a bad person, I’ve come to terms with that.” Johnny speaks in a low voice. “I’m sorry for the things I put you through, for the way I made you see yourself.”

“I don’t think so.” You say before taking your last sip of coffee. He looks up inquisitively. “That you’re a bad person.” You stand up to wash out your mug. “Bad friend, definitely.”

Johnny looks down before nodding. “I just think you made bad decisions. A bad person wouldn’t feel a thing after doing what you did.” You set the mug in the cupboard before turning to look at his back.

“I understand now how much it destroyed you.” Your voice becomes unstable all of a sudden. He keeps his back turned toward you. You get a thought to soothe him again but retract your hand.

“I haven’t felt like this in a long, long time.” He admits with a slight quiver in his words.

“I know. I just always assumed you were stronger now. After last night it really felt like it was true. That I never really helped either of us.”

Johnny stands from the table abruptly before turning to face you. “You went through all of this for me. Even after all I put you through, you let me into your home. You’re almost too kind.” 

You exhale amusedly at that, looking to the side. “Soft, more like.”

“No. There’s nothing soft about making a positive difference in someone’s life. You didn’t make YangYang, Doyoung, or Lucas the way they are. Everything bad that happened was either out of your hands or my fault.” He steps forward, looking intently into your eyes as he pats his chest. You smile, not feeling this way toward Johnny in a while. “You’re right, I did bad things. I made a negative impact on people’s lives. I was selfish.” Johnny looks away, eyes heavy with remorse. 

“You were, that’s true, but it’s never too late to start impacting people positively.”

Johnny gives you an intrigued look while you give him a bittersweet one. You can still hear the demons in your head. And they still have his voice.

taglist; @baehaechannie @maximumdreamchild @safariria @maliakealoha

#johnny suh #johnny #nct #kpop #angst #smut #johnny angst #johnny suh angst #kpop angst #nct angst #cynics

[neopuppy]

I will only admit this on anon but I also don’t get the hype with Jaehyun. I’m not attracted to him at all. People cannot fathom that not everyone has the same taste. This was further solidified when I watched them in concert. He was very underwhelming - no charisma. Even the person I watched it with was a Jaehyun/Taeyong bias and felt neutral to him at the concert. Johnny on the other hand wrecked us all. His visuals do not get enough credit, especially in person.

I wish I could reply honestly sooooooo bad but you are the anonymous one here while I am me lmao. I ALREADY GET ENOUGHHHH SHIT FOR NOT WANTING TO FUCK MARK?!? like jfc. god forbid I dont want 20+ nct dudes to run train on me.

pretty much the same happened to me tho, when I first saw 127 in 2019 I actually biased nearlyyyy all of them- Jaehyun and Mark included but I was like oh😅 inperson is VERY different. I left that concert only caring abt Jungwoo/Haechan/Johnny.

Jaehyun is a super attractive guy like I get it- he is VERY good looking but yeah he does nothing for me!!! he’s not *my* type but 1000000000000000000000% agree abt Johnny. he’s an adonis inperson, like jaw on the floor gorgeous.

#asks

[moonjella]

my ranking of golden age that nobody asked for:

𝟏. alley oop — it’s the most hype song on the album so you know it’s going to be my top song, it’s exactly what i’ve been waiting for since nct 2023 was announced. a super hype song with an incredible rap line, but let’s also not ignore the vocals because yuta and jisung’s vocal lines are so heavenly! every member snapped in this, even winwin with his teeny tiny lines. this is going to be my anthem when i walk to class everyday, it’s incredibly motivating

𝟐. pado — sm really know what they’re doing putting xiaojun and haechan in the same unit again, their vocal chemistry is seriously unmatched. and the unit as a whole is probably one of my favourite u combinations because everyone’s voice (raps and vocals combined) sounds so perfect bouncing off each other. and the song itself is so fun and sexy, it actually surprised me. and idk how to explain this but the trumpets?? were so sensually teasing which i feel reflects the lyrics and the song as a whole, ughhhh i love it so much!

𝟑. the bat — i (s)creamed when i saw the videos from nct nation. it opens with them telling me to inhale, exhale but the jokes on me because i lose the ability to breathe with this song. i don’t even know what it’s about, wtf is bats on wheels lmao but i don’t care i’m still jamming hard to this song. also, the vocal trio of taeil, yuta and jungwoo is insane, and hendery and jeno’s rap?? hello??

𝟒. interlude: oasis — listening to this in the shower lead me to having an out of this world experience lmao it’s so heavenly and quite the nostalgic song, it reminds me of something that i can’t quite name. but at the same time, it’s a new and refreshing vibe that i’ve never heard from nct before, but i love it anyway. i just wish the song was longer

𝟓. call d — when it comes to tenyong duo, i don’t think anything can ever top baby don’t stop but call d is such a chill and fun song, and the instrumental breaks did surprise me. it’s not my fave on the album but i do love how the song is both fun and sensual. also ten’s rap and taeyong’s vocals?? they are so versatile

𝟔. baggy jeans — i’ll be honest, i’m not a fan of the chorus however! the rest of the song is so good! it’s so nice to see t7s unit back together again after 7 years. it’s one of the most catchy songs on the album which is great if you like the catchy parts. but for me, i’d rather have a different song on repeat. but the low, deep vocal ranges? jaehyun and mark really surprised me. i like the last third of the song more than the rest of the song, and getting through the first part feels like a chore

𝟕. not your fault — nct ballads usually linger towards the bottom of my playlists but don’t get me wrong, i do love them. i just don’t listen to them a lot. the lyrics are so sweet and gentle, i’m definitely going to listen to it when i need a pick me up because the message is so beautiful and intimate. and the vocals were so amazing, renjun really shined through

𝟖. kangaroo — i didn’t like this one at first but it grew on me after a few listens. the lyrics have a cute, fun meaning but if you squint enough, they’re a little dirty? did anyone else notice it, or was it just me and my filthy mind lol? this song is totally the song to listen to on a summer roadtrip with the windows down, and it honestly felt like a nct dream song rather than nct u, but it was fun regardless

𝟗. golden age — i don’t want to be one of those entitled nctzen but i really did expect a full group song with the same vibes of black on black/resonance throughout the song, but golden age is like a hybrid of black on black/resonance and beautiful. it really does enhance all of members’ qualities by allowing them to shine with their individual lines, be them vocal or rap. it’s such a feel good song, but it did give me whiplash lol

𝟏𝟎. that’s not fair — this song was going great at first but something about the chorus was very....idk how to explain it, i just didn’t like it. i did enjoy the dark, sinister feeling. it gives you the same vibe you’d get watching something scary. i know it’ll grow on me because every nct song does eventually. but there needs to be a song at the bottom of the list and this one fits the shoe which is a shame because i loved it at first

#nct #golden age #☆ ─── 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 ─── ☆

[lucyandthepen]

sweet cream, cold brew is so soooo *deep breath* fucking good. i surely need mark lee rn im not kidding at all. love this kind of slowburn aka their feelings for each other just get more obvious each time but none of them actually makes a clear move. ESPECIALLY markkkkkkk good god i'll bite him. no because I'd think twice too, it's like -- it really seems he likes her but also.... not? I SCREAM out of frustration but truly because of that the impact of them finally saying the things that should've been said and done long ago is wayyyy bigger than i expected. their little moments are so cute and sweet as if they're not (initially (????)) lusting for each other esp the mc 😭😭😭 huge thanks to youngho's existence (i honestly do kinda feel bad for him tho NDHDHDH i DO wish she actually gets him a present eventually and even treat him or something 😭) and jaehyun's nosiness they finally came thru lmaooo just wanna highlight that one when they were out buying those blind boxes..... THEY'RE SO FREAKING ADORABLE. but fuck mark lee being this shy, usually tripping on his words.... polite and nice and just overall mark lee but once already inside the bedroom and has already bared it all ....... dear god i want him too . (PLUS WHEN HE KEEPS GLANCING AT THE MC'S TUMMY WHEN SHE STRETCHES OR SOMETHING......... BITCH SO SLICK BUT COWARD FOR STILL NOT MAKING A MOVE BACK THEN. HIM HAVING THAT KIND OF THING THO.... WHEW. WE KNEW. we knew. oh my god)

*can't wait to binge all these new releases of yours can't believe i missed it >:(( i'm sure this is so late now but welcome baaaaack i've missed u here <3

hey jae! i hope it's okay that i call you that; i just find some importance in being able to connect using names or aliases together, so i always check just to be sure! i am so so happy you had a fun time reading this fic; it's my longest yet and i've honestly been so self-conscious about how winding and slow it seems, so i'm really happy you were able to enjoy the slow burn!!!!!!! i absolutely approve of the idea of you biting mark because HE DESERVES IT! >:( shy cutie pie with actual game?????? WE LOVE TO SEE IT!

i was also really worried about this mc because she's one of the more assertive ones with clear goals (i.e. get in mark's pants, even if she can't say it out loud in just so many words LOLOLOL) but lettuce be real... we need a pushy gal every now and then because mark was teetering on the edge of being obvious and being aloof and WHY WOULD HE DO THAT! (answer: he's a wittle baby........... a precious chicken nugget..............)

poor johnny really got his ass beat (figuratively) while he was minding his own business for WHAT!!! despite the fact that he was very nosy... his heart was in the right place SIGH i actually really love writing johnny in my fics — in this one and last night on earth — because there is an unparalleled SASS to him that i am a key enjoyer of!!! and jaehyun really pulled through with them big ears n bigger mouth WE LOVE IT!

smut aside, my favorite scene had to be the mystery box too!!!!!! just... something so sweet and pure about him sharing this little hobby of his with her because he wanted them to be closer and he really viewed her as a friend after some time :( i love his big ................................... heart LMAO

i am a big believer as well in mark being someone whose skill comes out the best when he's asked to step up to the plate fully so basically i just think he's someone who's always bound to surprise and i feel like that really just stems from how goofy and awkward he is but on stage............... he is a MENACE to society (and our hearts) so we love to see shy, polite, blushy mark let his instincts and possessiveness and kinkiness (tummy bulge may have to be a running headcanon for me with him from now on i fear......) finally come through!!!!! DESERVE!

i am so so sorry for my absence, but i am so happy to be back and so happy that people have been so nice and understanding even if i disappeared for a while. :( i am always so grateful to hear from you, and i hope that i continue to make things we can all enjoy (and possibly thirst over?? SJIDFSJDI). i hope you have a wonderful day or night, wherever you may be, and that we can talk more (see: endlessly) either like this or in private! <3

#lucy.exe

[misswoozi]

Hi!!! Dk/jaehyun fan here again~ ive literally been shipping them all by myself since 2018 🥲🥲🥲 there are very few of us out there haha. I always pictured dk being a bit pathetic for jaehyun? Like in my head they get together bc dk has this big fat crush on jaehyun and then one drunken night he finally acts on it….

OMG THIS WAS A PERSONAL SHIP FOR YOU FOR THAT LONG?? OP, I am so happy you suggested it bc now we can turn it into a full AU if you want lmao I'll even find a video for them. I think it's a brilliant match-up and I wish I'd known about it sooner,,, maybe even in 2018???

so! Dokyeom has a crush on Jaehyun. this is 1000% plausible. I think Dokyeom likes other Aquarius men and beyond that, he'd definitely go to Junhui (who is basically NCT's 24th member these days) and ask if he could maybe possibly set them up. (Junhui would agree but not before he teased the fuck outta DK for it.)

I think they'd hang out in a group setting first (Junhui, Minghao, Seungkwan, Dokyeom, Chenle, Renjun, Kun and Doyoung maybe???) and it would take SEVERAL subsequent hangouts before DK shoots his shot and asks Jaehyun for his number. This would be a Slow Burn because DK, bless him, isn't a Direct Action kind of guy. Slowly but surely, though, he'd start texting Jaehyun and FINALLY one day, several shots in, he actually makes a Move and kisses him.

#junhui buys him a meal to celebrate #thank you and ily and pls claim an emoji bc you're family now #dokyeom smut #jaehyun smut #nct smut #seokjaeau #favorite #au favorite #OP i love this jsyk

[fff777]

Part 2 of me watching NCT Nation dance practice episode 1

Squat

The supporting dancers are also practising with them so it is a very busy and crowded practice room.

LMAO Ten making his entrance and Haechan going "CHITTAPHON!!!!!!" and everyone else cheered haha. We love a team that hypes their guys up <3

Jaemin and Jaehyun coming together for a hug. And in the background, Tenyang.

Jaemin's getting really into it. A man full of affection, even to his elders. He just kept going.

Work it rehearsal with ponytail Ten

Woowee x3

More huggy Jaemin x Jaehyun

Only Doyoung, Jaemin, Jaehyun, and Xiaojun are here for Make a Wish rehearsal lol.

Doyoung is just so lost lol. All the directions are changed, he's in the wrong spot. Chaos for Doyoung and Doyoung only.

Chenle rubbing his head against Jaemin like a cat

Watching the game tape

Hugs and kissies for Ten

Haechan was like "you're next" and Mark was like "no please." He held back Haechan's arms so fast lol.

Johnny playing with and tickling (?) Chenle X3

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Haechan and Xiaojun hyping each other up

Haechan is surprisingly involved in group rehearsal, getting everyone together and asking questions.

Jeno was trying to flip Mark

Yeah Haechan is fully in manager mode right now, directing the rehearsal, shouting out cues and words of encouragement. Little hype teddy :3

90s love section

Chenle just kept watching Jisung :P

Haechan little manager teddy bidding everyone farewell and see you tomorrow bright and early lol

#screencaps & commentaries #nct

[minkkumaz]

having a horrible week.. especially the weekend 😓 i wont get into it but ive been sobbing way too much recently..

but omg hooray for leerionz month! i made sure to wish leehan and riwoo the happiest bdays ever!!!

do u celebrate halloween? if so are u gonna be doing anything special? thinking abt it makes me want to either pass out candies to kids with jisung or go trick or treating with the bonedo boys. jaehyun would be the type to want matching costumes..

ahh currently trying to fill my brain with woonhak thoughts to keep me from resobbing,, omw to read ur woonhak comfort hehe.. the details still manage to make me grin,, thank u for writing so well all the time omi 🫶🫶

-🍉

aww lovely melon anon :[ i'm sorry your week + weekend isn't going your way! ill always be here to chat with, you're my favorite anon after all ^_^

happy happy birthday to leerionz! i do celebrate halloween, so trick or treating with the bonedo boys sounds so much fun. that's usually what i do on halloween anyways, because i wanna do as much of it as i can before i get too old to trick or treat :,] i like matching costumes too, but i'm pretty picky so i'd want to be the one to pick LMAO

i'm so glad my woonhak fic is making you happy :[ just know that it's okay to cry, and if you keep pushing eventually it will get better! woon will be right by your side every step of the way!!

imagine trying to quietly choke back tears from underneath your blanket, but you hear a creak of the door and little footsteps coming in. the mattress sinks slightly as woonhak peels back the blanket and sees your sad face 3: he cups your cheeks with a little frown and kisses all over your face, before going to cuddle up in bed next to you <3

"you don't have to be sad all alone, okay? this is a team effort!"

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

[baekhvuns]

We did it Baek, we beat the MATURE CONTENT allegations! Not sure about this message though 👀 Yes, I'm either meeting idols randomly or missing everything </3

Not being able to see Kai in the MV, fucking jail for everyone!!! I'm glad the comeback seems to be successful despite everything, honestly first Shinee now Exo, good times for the hags! I listened to Baekhyun's debut 10 times in a row to celebrate the anniversary btw!

My overall review of Exist is that I enjoyed the album, I like that it's EASY TO DIGEST, but the songs are catchy enough, I don't go through 100 emotions while listening to it just to end up confused. Anyways, uhmmm what's up with that champagne on the window shield I-?! And Mr Byun being embarrassed for saying sex??? Man, stand up lmao. Ngl, I wish the MV gave a bit more, I also saw people mentioning Suju 😭😭😭😭🔫

So actually some of the past Exo tracks aren't for me, but this album is really sooooolid, it's definitely cohesive sonically, the r&b undertones, THE FUCKING HARMONIES HELLOOOOO EARGASM! But also thematically it's definitely an album made for horny people lmaoooo. I'd have to give it more listens to establish which songs stopd out to me the most, but so far I think Regret It and Private Party are my faves!

Kai is away so Baek is the one serving cunt now?! Who would have thought. Military made Taemin into a bigger baby girl, meanwhile Baek is whoring

Also, let me say I'm so proud of Shinee honestly and the way they can never believe whenever they win, because some fuckass people wanna claim Shinee isn't relevant anymore and they won INKIGAYO!!! TAEMIN DID S CLASS AND HARD CHALLENGE WITH HYUNJIN, HE WENT TO JYP????? Why is he so adventurous all of a sudden

Jamal astrology hoe, pls https://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/ncts-jaehyun-to-make-big-screen-debut-with-film-in-6-hours-you-will-die-alongside-park-ju-hyun-kwak-si-yang-1228441 this is the short description 👀 I need more kpop men in unhinged roles, like yeah them playing losers in rom coms is fine but give me something else

Hybe didn't even apologise for the way they treated fans, they justified their actions. Fans were still groped, wtf, sometimes the gender matters, but they were still violated so what difference does it make seriously

So, I'm sure if YSL was in contact with Hwa they'd already invite him somewhere :/ and he'd definitely thank them publicly, but his dedication to get noticed is admirable. Stop because first I saw those sandals on Ten and had to close my eyes and Seonghwa too... Hongjoong's obsession with Olivier Rousteing paid off so fingers crossed, ugh if not I'm personally going to Anthony Vacarello's house ☠

Re: N**m*r: Idk some girlies really love footballers, they have humiliation kink cause I know at least 3 WAG wannabies from London who do that, they don't care those men will cheat on them. They usually just wanna bang and go, lmao kinda respect the hustle, but is it even worth it with some of them... yikes

Omfg no because I saw the Suarez thing and was like HUH, then got confused why RM was posting about it 😭

Baek are you updated on King the Land, because the latest episodes?! They really went for it, it's so cliche idk how it even works, but it does! Do you remember Yoona and Junho dancing to Senorita, because that was an event!!! I also remembered Taeyong and Seulgi and WOW... imagine 4th gen idols doing that ajsvhshajskdavshsjdjd

Insane to think certain idols would be in totally different fields, like business, pilot, chef then tattoo artist, Twitch streamer lmao but here they are in the same fucking group doing aegyo and hip thrusting on stage

Yeah, so I obviously enjoy 4th gen, but 2nd and 3rd gen had the quality, now I see those Tik Tok fucking songs that are under 3 mins and I wanna die!!! Don't wanna be a boomer, easy and fun choreography can be cool, not only for fans to follow, but also idops to perform, but where is the versatility, the creativity...

Shhahdhndjshahhshaaj stop SM people are lurking cause that guy was quick to like Yuta's post?! 😬😬😬😬 and now there are articles about SM being xenophobic <333 like I said, embarrasSMENT... it's a shame they have so many artists I like, because they're literally the worst. And apparently Sungtaro are debuting soon, I will believe it when I see it. Really shitty that they remived Shohei, he's neither in NCT Tokyo nor the other bg :( man is a grown ass adult, let him debut!

Ryan is Ken for life because wtf is he saying?! Margot os serving so many iconic looks during the promo! Btw booked tickets for both Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day lmaooo it's gonna be a fucking ride

You're right, KQ posted the "apology", not even Ateez's account??? And the apology was too vague imo, again if Indian/South Asian fans want to accept it that's their decision, I'm not saying people should cancel them and send then threats (it's happening and it's so bad), BUT some stans are ok with bare minimum, they just wanna move on... :/ that's what I told my friend, imagine if someone wrote a track called Kimchi Song, Asian people get so much shit for their native food, so it's incredibly insensitive. I don't wanna generalise, but I met so many Korean stans and while some were nice, some are simply crazy and lose their morals over kpop. On the other hand, one thing can tip them off, nothing serious and they can go from loving someone to sending them threats and???

It's a shame none of the members apologised, I like to think they wanted to, but idk. San posted on b.stage I thought he'd mention it, I understand it was his birthday, but... :/ I'm not usually personally affected by most of idols' fuck ups, but it always pisses me off regardless

Exo possible collabs??? Exo on Killing Voice, well they definitely fucking killed :o

Shinee, Teen Top, U-Kiss, Exo, Infinite, what year is this?! Remember when we would get so many 2nd/3rd gen ggs comebacks?! 2021 and 2022 😭😭😭😭

Baek, I got two tattoos during my trip and I already made appointments for two more, so pray for me lmao <333

Did you see model Hwa on the cover?! Sadly I don't have high hopes, because it's Cosmo and they usually have boring shoots, so far they look ok (but their clothes are basically their promo/stage fits? 😬) *sigh* - DV 💖

hello!! i answered this but tumblr glitched and wndfkklwef

We did it Baek, we beat the MATURE CONTENT allegations! Not sure about this message though 👀 Yes, I'm either meeting idols randomly or missing everything </3  /// Not being able to see Kai in the MV, fucking jail for everyone!!! I'm glad the comeback seems to be successful despite everything, honestly first Shinee now Exo, good times for the hags! I listened to Baekhyun's debut 10 times  in a row to celebrate the anniversary btw!

WE BEAT THE MATURE CONTENT ALLEGATIONS!!!!

that cream sada is not just about cream soda after all 😀 KAI WOULDVE DEVOURED HE HAS THE FIRST CHORUS TOO 😭😭😭😭 FUCK RAVI, KAI IN A SUIT DOING THAT BODY ROLL WITH HIS GAZE WOULDVE ENDED ME SO BAD FHWJDHWKDHWK im also vv glad it’s successful but sm’s doing everything in their hands to not make it bc what the fuck, all this treatment and everyone still thinking we crazy like ☺️☺️ but this is actually sad. HIS 10TH ANNIVERSARY AND HES A MILLION SELLER AGAIN OH TO BE HIM !!!!!

good times for hags yes!! saw this twt and cried my eyes out rhkwhdwjshkw

sorry what the fuck. u know what i can’t even handle him idk how id handle kai  like ive gone thru theee breakdowns all delulu while wondering why iTS NOT ME WHOS WITH HIM

THIS IS JUST NOW WHAT THE FUCK   )oh im screaming AND MATEO??? BROTHER IN CHRIST??? UR WIFES WATCHING FBHWKDHWK

??? thirty sexy to a new level

i need this man actually

yeah kai possessed him also not kai doing fansigns in the barracks and having men fall for him 😭😭😭

im also vv sorry this is late like idk what happened i met this new person yesterday to do an assignment w my friends and i went home and im immediately sick like i think they hexxed me bc i am SICK 😭😭😭

My overall review of Exist is that I enjoyed the album, I like that it's EASY TO DIGEST, but the songs are catchy enough, I don't go through 100 emotions while listening to it just to end up confused. Anyways, uhmmm what's up with that champagne on the window shield I-?! And Mr Byun being embarrassed for saying sex??? Man, stand up lmao. Ngl, I wish the MV gave a bit more, I also saw people mentioning Suju 😭😭😭😭🔫

I AGREE. I AGREE ITS EASY TO DIGEST ITS EASY TO LISTEN like my ears are not crying im so vv happy w the entire album, i realized many reactio channels said that after heat me out,, it’s so casual r&b like the reactors have grown to love simple music and that song + all the other ones are just so, non fussy??? just straight good music and the choreo??? the best in their career ever. the preciseness??? beat the broken knees allegations 😭😭

cream soda took me three listens to understand and it dawned on me that it’s bc my volume wasn’t up so i listened to it w bass and 😯😯😯 eargasm galore,, it is A HIT. ENTIRE CHORUS BEING A HIGH NOTE, 12/10 OVER FOR EVERYONE EVER FBWKDH ITS SO FUN FUNKY SEXY PERFECT FOR SUMMER AND PARTIES??? vocals wow,,, a new level,,, ur so correct! it didn’t feel confusing but it felt so nice to hear their voices after so long,, THE HARMONIES LIKE???? THE FALSETTO BEING THE ENTIRE CHORUS IS MENTAL PHEWWWW KILL ME SIRE,, champagne on the windshield, u know exactly why 😵‍💫😵‍💫 LMFAOOO NO BC THIS DOES LOOK LIKE THE SUJU MV SHIT THEYRE OLD NOW 😭😭😭ngl me too i wish the mv was just tad bit MORE but i won’t complain bc this mv was filmed on the du of the damn lawsuit so ik none of them said a lot of shit against what to do and what not to 🤚🏻but i think the more i watch it the more i like it,,, cinematography is rly pretty the yellows holds greens purples and reds,,, wow 🫡 very classic, gatsby look just classic exo

just tells me that there’s a lot of incredible music but this talent is 😮‍💨

So actually some of the past Exo tracks aren't for me, but this album is really sooooolid, it's definitely cohesive sonically, the r&b undertones, THE FUCKING HARMONIES HELLOOOOO EARGASM! But also thematically it's definitely an album made for horny people lmaoooo. I'd have to give it more listens to establish which songs stopd out to me the most, but so far I think Regret It and Private Party are my faves!

im going to say U GOTTA RELISTEN TO OBSESSION WND TEMPO IM SORRY I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY LESS 🔫 OASIS SIGN DAMAGE BUTTERFLY AFFECT YA YA YA??? no ur so right this album is so solid and cohesive in the best way possible,,, like the tracks are so well thought out??? the 90’s, r&b pop and synth pop 😭😭 CRYING IK THOSE PRODUCERS WERE LINING UP TO WORK W RHEM UR RIGHT RHE FUCKINF HARMONIES THE WAY I GET SO GASPY WHEN THEY DO THAT LIKE??? this is exactly what i want from atz so bad 😭😭😭 IT RLY IS FOR HORNY PPL LIKE DO U HEAR THE BED CREAKING NOISES 😭😭😭 PRIVATE PARTY PLS DID U HEAR THE BED CREAK this me listening to it

but like im obsessed w no make up and love fool,,, like what the fuck did they put in THOSE SONGS,,, what an album honestly i am always surprised w them in the best way,, like how can u gag me every bc 😭😭 i am obsessed w cream soda

Kai is away so Baek is the one serving cunt now?! Who would have thought. Military made Taemin into a bigger baby girl, meanwhile Baek is whoring /// Also, let me say I'm so proud of Shinee honestly and the way they can never believe whenever they win, because some fuckass people wanna claim Shinee isn't relevant anymore and they won INKIGAYO!!! TAEMIN DID S CLASS AND HARD CHALLENGE WITH HYUNJIN, HE WENT TO JYP????? Why is he so adventurous all of a sudden

NO BC BAEKHYUN???? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING IM ACTUALLY CRYING,, it’s the way kai left them a mission that they need to DANCE and not embarrass him and they are dancing im so sick the footwork is insane,,, taemin bbygirl meowing and baekhyun’s out here showing nips and tongues 😭😭

NO BC ITS TAEMINS REACTIONS TO THE WINS HAVE ME SO HAPPY LIKE HE TRULY CANNOT BELIEVE THEY WON LIKE MF UR A LEGEND??? 😭😭😭 THESE CRUMBS ARE SO WHOLESOME LIKE TAEMIN X SKZ, DARA X EXO, MINHO X EVERYONE 😭😭 AND THUNDER IS GETTING MARRIED??? 😭😭

Jamal astrology hoe, pls https://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/ncts-jaehyun-to-make-big-screen-debut-with-film-in-6-hours-you-will-die-alongside-park-ju-hyun-kwak-si-yang-1228441 this is the short description 👀 I need more kpop men in unhinged roles, like yeah them playing losers in rom coms is fine but give me something else

no bc im very excited to see what he does,, kpop’s actors / drama’s have been really good and exciting,,, i just know he’s gonna be so incredibly hot,, do u ever look at jamal and think he’d fit the twilight role so perfectly

Hybe didn't even apologise for the way they treated fans, they justified their actions. Fans were still groped, wtf, sometimes the gender matters, but they were still violated so what difference does it make seriously

no bc do u rmr the mental health polls hybe did?? fans were groped NEAR the new artists,,, i hope a few ppl sue them bc this is so incredibly wrong???

So, I'm sure if YSL was in contact with Hwa they'd already invite him somewhere :/ and he'd definitely thank them publicly, but his dedication to get noticed is admirable. Stop because first I saw those sandals on Ten and had to close my eyes and Seonghwa too… Hongjoong's obsession with Olivier Rousteing paid off so fingers crossed, ugh if not I'm personally going to Anthony Vacarello's house ☠

yeah!!! :( HIS DEDICATION REALLY IS UP THERE I HOPE THEY LISTEN FOR ONCE,, im sorry like those sandals are so whatsapp mom core 😭😭😭😭 KEEP UR GRIPPERS WITH U PLS WE DONT NEED TO SEE 😭😭 omg hongjoong’s manifestation power must be crazy good for rousteing to fall in love w him like that LMFAOOO ANTHONY ITS ON SIGHT

Re: N*mr: Idk some girlies really love footballers, they have humiliation kink cause I know at least 3 WAG wannabies from London who do that, they don't care those men will cheat on them. They usually just wanna bang and go, lmao kinda respect the hustle, but is it even worth it with some of them… yikes /// Omfg no because I saw the Suarez thing and was like HUH, then got confused why RM was posting about it 😭

NO SRS THIS HUMILIATION KINK IS FBKWHDKWHDKW I RESPECT IT BUT THE WAY I CRINGE FBWMDBKW ou not the wag wannabes u know what yeah i also respect the hustle like u go get that ride and dip w the money <3 no bc srs are they even worth it 😭😭😭 YEAH ME TOO UNTIL IT CLICKED AND MY HEART CAME BACK UP FBWJDHSK also why tf is everyone moving to saudi im actually so disappointed in everyone, losing passion over money 😭😭 LIKE BRO UR IN UR PRIME AND UR GOING INTO A NOWHERE LEAGUE

Baek are you updated on King the Land, because the latest episodes?! They really went for it, it's so cliche idk how it even works, but it does! Do you remember Yoona and Junho dancing to Senorita, because that was an event!!! I also remembered Taeyong and Seulgi and WOW… imagine 4th gen idols doing that ajsvhshajskdavshsjdjd

I AM SO UPDATED!!! I LOOK FORWARD TO EVERY WEEKEND FOR NEW EPS the kiss. the way. he was shaking. 😶😶 crying screaming shitting i need them married. YOONA AND JUNHO WON THE IDAF WAR omf do u rmr the cabi song like that was peak idgaf,,, taecyeon and yoona and then jessica 😭😭😭 taeyong seulgi doing a show together???? 👁👁

Insane to think certain idols would be in totally different fields, like business, pilot, chef then tattoo artist, Twitch streamer lmao but here they are in the same fucking group doing aegyo and hip thrusting on stage /// Yeah, so I obviously enjoy 4th gen, but 2nd and 3rd gen had the quality, now I see those Tik Tok fucking songs that are under 3 mins and I wanna die!!! Don't wanna be a boomer, easy and fun choreography can be cool, not only for fans to follow, but also idops to perform, but where is the versatility, the creativity…

RIGHT LIKE KUN AS A PILOT??? 😭😭😭 so random,,, twitch streamer stOP 😭😭😭 here they are being a slut fbwkdhwk ur right!!! thwy had the quality, everyone was releasing bangers it was crazy but the best time for kpo musically!!! UR RIGHT THE TIKTOK SONGS ARE 😭😭🔫,,, no bc this 100% easy and fun can be cool but not having it fit the music,, new choreo is so underrated these days like all we see his hand moves or straight up gymnastics,, give us good food!!!!

Shhahdhndjshahhshaaj stop SM people are lurking cause that guy was quick to like Yuta's post?! 😬😬😬😬 and now there are articles about SM being xenophobic <333 like I said, embarrasSMENT… it's a shame they have so many artists I like, because they're literally the worst. And apparently Sungtaro are debuting soon, I will believe it when I see it. Really shitty that they remived Shohei, he's neither in NCT Tokyo nor the other bg :( man is a grown ass adult, let him debut!

LMFAOOOO BRMWHDKWHDKW HES ON TWITTER FOR SURE,,, EMBARRASSMENT TRULY,, but honestly is it surprising bc sm’s past treatment with their chinese employers and then doing a law suit on them before leaving,, literally,, the idols are the best part of sm honestly 😭😭 YEAH ???? LIKE JUST PUT THEM IN A GROUP AND DEBUT IT OUT also their new bg having jaejoong dna like sm rly loves him 😭😭

Ryan is Ken for life because wtf is he saying?! Margot os serving so many iconic looks during the promo! Btw booked tickets for both Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day lmaooo it's gonna be a fucking ride

LMFAOOOO CORRECT I DONT KNOW WHAT HE IS ON FBWKDHWKDBSK so excited to see it,,, OH UR DOING A DOUBLE FEATURE??? SCREAMING PLS GET THE SEATS NOLAN WANTED PPL TO HAVE stop ur gonna feel the nuke irl 😭😭😭

You're right, KQ posted the "apology", not even Ateez's account??? And the apology was too vague imo, again if Indian/South Asian fans want to accept it that's their decision, I'm not saying people should cancel them and send then threats (it's happening and it's so bad), BUT some stans are ok with bare minimum, they just wanna move on… :/ that's what I told my friend, imagine if someone wrote a track called Kimchi Song, Asian people get so much shit for their native food, so it's incredibly insensitive. I don't wanna generalise, but I met so many Korean stans and while some were nice, some are simply crazy and lose their morals over kpop. On the other hand, one thing can tip them off, nothing serious and they can go from loving someone to sending them threats and???

yeah like the clear difference in followers and posting on the other acc had me side eyeing them,,, was v disappointed that it was yunsanhwa— omg do u rmr lee hyori doing sexy dance on a hindu mantra???? MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR HOW DO U BE THIS INSENSITIVE????? yeah ppl wanna move on but i am definitely side eyeing them for a while 🤨 but honestly i expected it, every idol has to do something like this with their whole chest 😭😭😭

It's a shame none of the members apologised, I like to think they wanted to, but idk. San posted on b.stage I thought he'd mention it, I understand it was his birthday, but… :/ I'm not usually personally affected by most of idols' fuck ups, but it always pisses me off regardless

i do too but that ur right that part,,, it always pisses me off when it be the ppl u never expected??? this one rly had me open my eyes a little like 🤚🏻

Exo possible collabs??? Exo on Killing Voice, well they definitely fucking killed :o  /// Shinee, Teen Top, U-Kiss, Exo, Infinite, what year is this?! Remember when we would get so many 2nd/3rd gen ggs comebacks?! 2021 and 2022 😭😭😭😭

possible collabs,,, i need them to collab on a group album more often. THEY RLT DID BUT I WANTED A PT2 BC THERES SO MUCH AND THEM CHOOSING LOVE SHOT OVER TEMPO??? CRAZY.  watching it made me realize how c razy their discography is, hit after hit and wow 🤚🏻 mr kim jongdae rly does it w so much ease, and baekhyun??? he’s a full time flirter, part time idol

I AM SO EXCITED FOR INFINITE LIKE DBWKDHWKHDKW WE SEE IDOL L 😭😭😭 FINALLY AFTER SO LONG CRYING FHWKDHWK hoping this summer brings good songs for everyone esp the 2/3rd gen groups that are coming back, we need that era back!

Baek, I got two tattoos during my trip and I already made appointments for two more, so pray for me lmao <333  /// Did you see model Hwa on the cover?! Sadly I don't have high hopes, because it's Cosmo and they usually have boring shoots, so far they look ok (but their clothes are basically their promo/stage fits? 😬) sigh - DV💖

WE NEED A DOODLE DRAWING OF THEM RIGHT NOW 🔫🔫 I DID SEE MODEL HWA COVER. ITS ALL BLACK AND WHITE BUT I GUESS ITS SOMETHING 😭😭😭 but did u see jeong yunho. why is he so big like that. i went thru a 15 min blankness looking at him

no cause fbwkdhwk

damn

AND HIM???

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon