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#jaguar shifter
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One of my fav things about my Reanimator Mysteries books is that there's a weird little magical family where there's a lesbian jaguar shifter and a bi trans woman plantmancer who have a daughter who also happens to have a self-healing gay dad because he's in a lavender marriage to the lesbian.
And no one questions why the two women live together or why she’s so close to the daughter since the lavender marriage husband is away a lot due to work.
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queermentaldisaster · 2 months
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Shifter!Au: The Last People
By this I just mean the last people to get their shifter classifications (from me ;3)
Graves is a Grey Fox shifter. He's a slippery bastard, coming from Greenville in Georgia. He's smaller than most male grey fox shifters, leading most people to misgender him at first when he's shifted. He's upset because Soap is considered a 'true fox' and he's not. He's pack bonded with the Shadows. He constantly tries to get Shepherd's praise and attention, but to no avail. He's a little uncomfortable with killing civilians, but he does anything Shepherd tells him to do.
Shepherd is an Turkey Vulture shifter. He's a parasite, leeching off the success of others to make himself seem better and more skilled than he actually is. He won't hesitate to have collateral damage, such as civilians losing their homes, families, and lives, if it means the mission gets completed. He sees Graves as a pawn to be used, and couldn't give less of a shit if Graves were to drop dead.
I'm not entirely sure what Makarov would be...
But Valeria. She's a Jaguar shifter. Very queen of the pack type. Cold, ruthless, merciless, doesn't give a second to beg. When she shifts, everyone in Las Almas knows to run, because God help you if she catches you. She shifts often, even if just to sleep. She's more comfortable as a jaguar than a human.
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artcake · 1 year
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Hello Mer! Congrats on your 500 followers milestone! Well deserved too. So I was wondering... for the free sketch ask. Could you do one for me? I'm writing a shifter AU story in which Hotch too is a black panther. So I'd love it if you could bring that life with your art. Maybe a stoic Hotch in a (birthday)suit, but with a lovely long, black furry tail?
Thank you! Have a stoic but softe hotch....maybe just out of the shower, preparing for the hard job ahead, taking in a little quiet time
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werewolfaday · 2 months
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Ko-Fi requeest for T! day 50!
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(they gave me a couple ideas for the prompt too, one of them being a poetry read! i thought it might be cute if instead of snapping they did like. soft little howls)
The second part was extra as a v fun exercise! I think werewolves in general would have a lot of diversity in style and shifted/half-shifted forms so this gave me an excuse to play around with that :) thought I should include a werehyena bc that's the wolf substitute for the shape-shifters of African folklore (and *jaguars in south america, tigers in India, etc!)
Also in doing a little bit of research for Black werewolf characters I found this super cool werewolf comic I wanted to highlight by Michelin Hess, a Black author/artist! She has other work that you should check out too. In fact, feel free to shout out any of your favorite Black artists in the comments or tags! Or let me know the other ways y'all are celebrating this month :)
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corcedo · 2 years
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finally getting to play shadow of the tomb raider and tbh, lara croft starting beef with a jaguar is unexpected yet iconic
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seeker-of-stories19 · 3 months
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Ghostsoap Shifter AU
- Ghost is a very large black Jaguar
- Soap is a border collie
- As if Ghost weren’t deadly enough already he often shifts on missions to take care of enemies
- Shifters are rare enough no one makes the connection and no one who sees him shifted ever lives
- Most people laugh at the rumors which are about as outrageous as any of the other ones surrounding Ghost
- Of course some people theorize that the rumors are more than that but there’s not really any way to prove it and they mostly don’t worry about it too much because it’s not something that makes him more vulnerable since he already stands out on the battlefield
- Soap is the opposite, absolutely everyone knows he’s a shifter and mostly no one cares since shifting into dogs, cats, bunnies, and other small animals is much more common than exotic animals
- It’s not much use on most missions but occasionally he’ll shift if there are kids around to cheer them up or heard them toward safety
- He also shifts to comfort his team members if someone is particularly upset, almost always Ghost but sometimes he does it for Gaz too and on a very rare occasion Price
- Walks all over the base in his dog form, usually following and herding Ghost around which absolutely baffles everyone because they act fairly professional otherwise
- Soap also looks ridiculously small next to him when shifted because he’s so big
- Gaz thinks the whole thing is hilarious and after he walks in on Soap in his dog form laying on Ghost on the couch in the 141 rec room one too many times he buys Soap a PTSD service dog vest as a joke
- Ghost gives him an absolute death glare but Soap beams at him
- He thinks it’s hilarious because he has admittedly been performing Service dog tasks for Simon on a semi regular basis for months at that point
- Doing deep pressure therapy and behavior interruption and grounding tasks for disassociation when Simon is struggling, especially after nightmares
- No one cares at all what they do on base because Price is pretty much in charge anyway and everyone else is too scared of Ghost to protest
- But when they go on leave Simon has a really hard time with his PTSD and Soap has the brilliant idea to put on the vest and tag along for some errands since he can’t exactly lay down on top of Simon in public in his human form if he gets overwhelmed
- It helps a ton and they’re able to go more places, sometimes with Soap tagging along just as a dog and sometimes bringing the vest as an emergency measure and shifting if Simon needs help or comfort
- Soap definitely does a bunch of research into different Psychiatric service dog tasks
- They both agree that Gaz can never know
- But it definitely makes Simon really happy even if he doesn’t want to admit it he ends up sending Soap different ideas of tasks that would help him
- He loves to see Soap find joy in his animal side
- His relationship with his shifter form is much more complex, no one else in his family was a shifter and he tried to hide it from them, even when his mom found out she tried really hard to hide it from his dad
- But eventually he found out when he scared Simon enough that he shifted into a little Jaguar cub
- From that moment on it was his life’s purpose to force Simon into shifting, and he loved to hurt and scare Simon when he was in that form especially as a kid because he liked the power of having control over such a dangerous animal
- By the time he was old enough to join the military he already had a whole separate set of scars on his jaguar form and he swore never to let that part of himself be hurt again
- Lied on his enlistment paperwork about his assigned gender at birth and about being a shifter
- The one thing he’s always liked about his shifter form is that it was always male, even when he was a kid and hadn’t been anywhere close to starting to transition
- He thinks it’s because shifter forms are supposed to be connected to you on a soul level and it helped him process his gender
- He wants to protect himself from any further harm to that part of himself and doesn’t want to find out if the rumors about how the military uses shifters is true
- The entire time he’s with Roba nothing scares him more than losing control of his emotions and shifting but eventually it happens when Roba cuts his face open and he reacts similarly to his dad
- Tests all kinds of horrible drugs on him and hurts him and makes him kill people in his jaguar form, by the time he’s buried he thinks he’s too injured to shift but he forces himself to do it one final time to dig himself out and escape
- After that he never wants to shift again but after hunting down Roba and killing all his men he transforms one final time to kill the man, tearing him apart desperate to show him that he didn’t truly master a jaguar the way he’d tried so many times
- He tries to shift after he gets shot by Sparks and Washington but for the first time instead of his body forcing it on him he can’t do it no matter how hard he tries
- He’s too late to save his family, if he’d been able to shift he could’ve saved them and the failure haunts him
- It’s years before he accidentally shifts again in front of Price after a particularly grueling mission and the man is beyond shocked to suddenly find his sergeant turning into a massive black Jaguar
- It’s takes months after that for Price to slowly help him break through his fears, he promises not to exploit his shifted form on missions but insists that he shift at least once a week for his own sanity, it’s dangerous to just ignore it
- He doesn’t have much choice but to agree but unlike for most shifters his form is no longer a safe place to hide or rest it’s just another reminder of the horrible things that have happened to him
- After that he stops caring about his Jaguar form and what happens to it, feels a sense of bitterness that this incredible ability couldn’t protect him and instead of shifting peacefully on his own he starts doing it on missions, just using it to kill as many hostiles as possible
- He knows the violence bothers Price on some level but the Captain never says anything when he rips people limb from limb with his teeth and transforms back covered in blood
- The first time Soap sees him shifted is in Las Almas when he brutally kills a few Shadows who tried to track them to Alejandro’s safe house
- Rudy is shocked and understandably cautious of the massive animal that just tore five people apart viciously but Soap looks reverent and almost excited
- Is very happy to realize there’s another shifter on the team
- Isn’t the slightest bit intimidated by Ghosts shifted form and before he can even shift back he’s touching his broad muscled shoulders, stroking the black fur gently, whispering a brief praise to him for protecting them
- He’s too shocked to shift back and Soap just casually leads him around to the side of the house where there’s a hose
- He m apologizes for the water being cold and calmly washes the blood out of Ghosts fur while he stands there in shock
- He shifts back and they go on with the mission but he has no idea what to think about what happened and can’t get it out of his head
- Soap regularly interacts with him in his shifted form during and after missions and it becomes routine for him to give him absentminded pets
- On the battlefield Soap is the only one who specifically utilizes his shifted form in mission plans
- He gains his own reputation for having a trained Jaguar and there are some truly ridiculous stories passed around base about it
- Slowly over time he finds it normal to spend time with Soap while shifted but never outside of missions
- When Soap starts asking him to shift around the base in their rooms or the rec room he can’t fathom doing it for himself
- The first time he shifts around Johnny outside of a mission is when they’re cuddling together on leave and it’s a complete accident
- It’s very common for strong emotions to trigger a shift but for him it’s almost always been fear and the few times it wasn’t fear it was anger
- He’s never shifted from a positive emotion so he’s shocked and beyond confused when he goes from purring into Johnny’s chest wrapped in fluffy blankets while the rain pours down outside to laying half across his boyfriends body as his Jaguar self
- Soap is ecstatic and immediately shifts as well, curling into Simon’s much larger body and gently licking one of his paws, snuggling under his chin fearlessly
- They get fur and dog hair all over the bed but he doesn’t even care because it feels amazing to be shifted like this
- He hasn’t shifted once in his entire life where he was truly safe, even as a kid it was in the locked bathroom when his shifted form was still just a clumsy black kitten and he wanted to spend all his time in any body other than his own
- It’s still painful but he starts opening up too Soap about his relationship with his shifted form and Johnny is absolutely devastated
- His border collie form is so precious to him and the stress relief of not having to think the way he does as a human, of just herding and protecting settles something inside him
- He can’t imagine being so viciously abused in his dog form that it became a trap of all the worst animal mentalities
- Instead of getting a more simplified thought process and the pleasure of giving in to more of his instincts and trapping people into giving him physical affection Ghost is stuck in the flight or fight of an abused animal, scared, violent, lashing out
- He makes it his life’s mission to get Simon relaxed and happy enough to have him shift from positive emotions
- It doesn’t happen too much at first because he still has so much trauma attached to his shifter form but slowly over time he can get Simon into a headspace where he shifts more often around their flat
- The first time it happens on base for any reason other than a nightmare is when he’s giving Simon a scalp massage, twirling his curls around his fingers and rubbing his fingers against his scalp while Si lets out deep rumbling purrs
- He’s heavy enough when he shifts to half crush him but he doesn’t move much except to wiggle up enough that most of the weight is resting on his legs and not his stomach
- Simon always acts like he should be scared of him like this but it’s all he can do not to coo at him when he blinks heavy lidded green eyes at him and bats at his side clumsily with a heavy paw
- When the door opens Gaz let’s out a high pitched scream of shock and nearly jumps into Price’s arms while Simon barely moves
- It’s the animal mindset kicking in differently than fear and violence and panic and he recognizes it immediately as being how he’s always understood his shifted form
- Still very much human but fewer thoughts and more instinct, making it easier to let go of anxiety then it ever is as a human
- Price looks absolutely shocked to see Simon casually shifted, bumping his large black head against Johnnys side to get his attention
- He quickly goes back to petting him
- When he shifts back he’s clearly a bit unnerved by it but just says something along the lines of never letting Gaz live down his reaction
- It’s months later that Johnny is having a difficult time with some recruits, just the type of people who like to pick at authority to try and make themselves seem tough
- Especially against the supposedly deadly SAS sergeant
- They know of Ghost and have heard enough rumors to be suitably terrified but they certainly don’t know how protective he is over Soap
- Rather than trailing around after Soap like his namesake and scaring all the recruits like he usually does if situations like this arise he takes a different route with this particular group after hearing Soap complain about some of the particularly unpleasant harassment he’s been facing
- Soap is halfway through yelling at the group of especially rude recruits when Ghost pads over to him and buts his head against the man’s chest
- He’s so shocked he freezes and the recruits are scrambling away when Johnnys face breaks into a brilliant smile as Ghost head-buts his thighs and stomach a few times before looping his strong lithe body around Johnnys back
- Soap just continues yelling at the recruits who are now cowering because he’s just casually got a massive black Jaguar draped around him
- When he finishes yelling he gives them one more warning before writing them up for insubordination and the practically run away the second they’re dismissed
- As soon as they’re out of sight Johnny breaks out into the most delighted laughter and hugs Ghost as hard as he can, pressing kisses to his snout and beaming at him
- Ghost just pushes him down and paws at him for pets, purring and butting his massive head against his chest
- Since he doesn’t have anything to do immediately he walks towards Ghosts room and lets himself in with the spare key while the few people around stare at him being followed by a massive jaguar
- People notice of course but it’s a small enough base that despite the people filtering through regularly it really is the 141s base and anyone who knows anything knows it’s a bit unregulated and very much left to the discretion of John Price
- Not to mention they’re too scared of Ghost to create any issues anyway
- So whatever chaos the 141 comes up with is mostly just ignored
- But people are definitely freaked out by a fucking Jaguar of all things just trotting after Sergeant McTavish through the hallways
- Soap of course thinks it’s hilarious and collapses laughing the second he gets the door closed
- He’s so incredibly proud of Simon he just showers him with love the rest of the night, petting him, kissing his snout, snuggling into his chest
- It makes Simon feel more loved than he has in a long time when Johnny gets so excited at one point that he accidentally shifts as well
- They love being shifted together but they also love when one of them is shifted and the other can give them love in their human form
- Soap starts transforming even more to help Simon and he can see the man slowly becoming more receptive to his shifter form
- He doesn’t transform in front of people on base again and a lot of people think those recruits were making it up
- Soap thinks it’s hilarious
- But he’s also so flattered that Ghost would transform in a semi public place for him since he knows how hard it is for him
- He doesn’t expect that Simon will ever be as comfortable as he is with his shifter form but when he starts shifting more in front of Price and Gaz in the 141 rec room he’s ecstatic
- Price and Gaz never quite get used to it but there’s nothing he likes more than seeing Simon sprawled across the couch in a patch of sunlight, tail flicking lazily as he licks him with his rough tongue
- But nothing is better than seeing Simon at home in there flat shifting comfortably just to get some pets, acting for all intents and purposes like a glorified house cat
- He’s such an attention seeker when shifted, if Soap ignores him he’ll break mugs and vases on purpose which has him feeling absolutely humiliated when he shifts back and his thoughts are more human
- Sometimes he still shifts after nightmares and things and Johnny will cuddle him close and soothe him with kisses and snuggles as he yowls and whimpers like a trapped animal
- But overwhelmingly he shifts for positive reasons and on purpose which he never could’ve imagined in the past
- It feels like he’s finally found the peace in his shifted form that he was searching for at five years old locked in the bathroom with clumsy paws, he feels like a kitten again with Johnny who is so sweet and attentive and everything he could ever hope for
- It affects their relationship significantly and they’re both incredibly happy and they work well together
- Although they never escape the cat and dog jokes from the people who know about both of them
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azulyrae · 7 months
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❛ —— 𝐈𝐈 : The Spy’s Gambit.
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after a long year — one lost due to grief and isolation and non-spoken ache — [name] archeron had finally been granted the awaited opportunity to flee from the constricting borders of velaris. what she did not predict would happen, whatsoever, was the insistence of a ruthless — asshole — spymaster on demolishing the barriers of her lone fortress and testing the limits of her powers and patience, during the single travel needed to reach their training destination.
past the illyrian mountains and west from rask, the shifter had two well-stabilished objectives in mind: one, train with diligence to finally move towards her own goals in the mortal lands; and two, try not to permanently disfigure azriel’s face with a scratch of her jaguar claws. five minutes in, and the oldest sister was sure that the latter would be the most difficult of her tasks.
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the second chapter of onyx sword of sorrow.
check the original post to be aware of the trigger warnings.
azriel/fem!archeron sister. reader with mind control & the ability to shapeshift.
pinterest board / spotify playlist.
word-count: 14K.
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“We felt the imprisonment of being a girl.”
— The Virgin Suicides, Jeffrey Eugenides.
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The Gods whistled a melodic tone. One to carry a whiff of fate and purpose; one to invade a girl’s lung and fill it with her first breath into the living. The soft whisper of the divine converges with the unknown; no longer a benediction, but a sacrilegious bawl of confusion and grief. For a girl is born in a man’s world, and that is perhaps the cruelest form of torture offered by the Gods.
The room’s shutters were trembling from the strength of the boisterous storm. The wind howled, a treacherous and machiavellian whisper, an omen of disaster. Lightning brought sudden brightness to the obscure sky, and there was no natural occurrence so alluring, yet so violent. Bolts were but a fast-paced concentration of lethal energy, tearing and clawing and parting the unaware clouds.
The woman laid on the linen-sheets, coated in sweat and blood. Her babe’s voice matched the screams of the storm, challenging it with every breath. Maids moved with trained-agility, clamping the umbilical cord; cleaning bloodied legs with a white cloth, until one could no longer see a single tone other than bright red; and opening the curtains so as the father could hold the bawling babe closer to the light. All around her, there was noise and movement. Yet, she could not tear her eyes from the vile thing that had clawed through her, slicing her open as a lighting bolt would to a cloud. Her husband swooned, whispering a gibberish she did not care enough to decipher. 
“The Goddesses weep,” an old maid whispered. “A girl is born, and the skies are grieving.”
But she was wrong. The storms were not a symbol of grief, they were the purest image of violent rejoice. It shouted and celebrated for it had observed the birth of a babe meant for chaos and disappointment. The mother was disgusted, cursing the natural spell that fell upon a room whenever one witnessed a birth. No other soul could see the same as she did, all blinded by the supposed wonder of a newborn’s cries. But the mother saw past the veil. Rather than a girl, she had given birth to a vessel of malice, a child of deceit and destruction. The storm would not have matched the babe’s shouts otherwise; the wind would not have answered; the husband would not have forgotten about his wife — bloodied and vulnerable — if not for the treachery of the child.
“She’s beautiful,” he whispered, cradling the uproarious creature close to his chest. The mother had hoped for the monster to bite and pierce the father’s heart, showcasing the true horror of her spirit. Perhaps, such wishes did point to malice — only it was not her daughter’s, but hers instead.
“She’s not,” was her matter-of-fact answer. “No babe is ever born beautiful.”
The man came closer, if only to defend his daughter’s honor. She loathed him then, for allowing himself to be stolen from her opened arms, straight into the unconditional love of fatherhood; loathed the child, too, for she had dared to claim him; and pitied herself, for being a victim of a tragedy no other being could understand. The mother had spent nine months whispering to her growing belly, singing and welcoming the kicks. In her heart, with all of her motherly instincts, she knew it was a boy she carried. Surely, that miscalculation of nature had murdered her brother; surely, the doctors had missed the occurrence where her boy was discarded and eaten by his monstrous twin-sister. There was no other proper explanation, if not that one.
“Oh, but ours is,” insisted her husband, a stranger. He forced the babe into her arms, caressing the crown of the creature’s head. He did not care whether the mother remained in pain; whether she was feeling tired and dirty and in terrible need of rest and clean sheets. His eyes remained glued to that devious thing. “See the strength of her grip? The curling of her lip, the form of her nose? She is a made copy of yours.”
The woman shuddered. Was there a greater insult than being compared to one you despised? She had wanted to shout, demand them all to leave her chambers, cause a scandal and give their servants a lifetime worthy of gossip. However, the little serpent clung to her, and she had a strong grip indeed. In awe, the woman found herself pressing the babe closer to her chest, touching the skin as soft as the silk-sheets that she bloodied during childbirth. 
The presence was compelling, demanding. “Nurse me,” it seemed to shout. “Feed me,” it cried. “Love me,” it begged. The mother spent an entire year doing as she was expected and coerced to do. The babe was fed from her breast, regardless of the nipping and pain, sipping the milk along occasional droplets of her mother’s blood; received tender care and warm clothing, constant baths and cradling whenever she cried during the night — which she did, constantly.  However, the thing the woman had never managed to do was the latter. She could not love that eager and violent parasite, regardless of the motherhood instincts and the sayings that she had given birth to a physical copy of hers. The creature stole a year of her already decaying youth before it lost the taste for the maimed breast. She would no longer allow it to seize another single thing. 
The mother conquered a second pregnancy briefly two years after that disastrous disappointment, yet, she had never quite mastered the art of ignoring the small serpent and its midnight cries. Despite it all, her firstborn was the one she could not abide to watch out for. The same did not apply to those who came after whatsoever, for the woman had three more babies — three more little girls — and failed to love them at all, as if the small, twisted amount she could give had been entirely devoted to her child of chaos. 
Following-in-suit to the behavior of her firstborn, the three kicked and moved within her, but this time, she was much more prepared, and learned not to love them too soon. Motherly love was the death of logic and boundaries; it was an open door for obsession and worry, and girls were undeserving of that, for the gender inequality had long stolen the heirdom from their grips, and the mother refused not to bear an heir of her own.
[Name] had cried for two entire years. No one could understand the reason quite well. Overall, she was quite a spoiled babe, resting on a gold-made cradle and receiving professional and qualified assistance, hence the general confusion. However, when the moon grew wide in the pitch-black sky and her first sister was born, [Name] had stopped crying. It was as though she had granted herself enough time to share her discontentment, to allow the conflicted feelings to pour from her eyes and form small lakes of crystal-clear tears. Crying would no longer do her well, not when her sister had a pain of her own to be mended. Twenty-four years later, [Name] did not manage to find her tears still, for they remained buried underneath the soil of her deepest hidden fears and failures. 
Perhaps, [Name] had but used all of her tears when she did not need them; perhaps, she should have stocked a few before the damage became unrecoverable; for, as of now, alone in a house she could not learn to feel comfortable in, her eyes remained dry.
Well, not entirely dry.
[Name] cursed out loud as she went to grab a white and clean cloth, applying pressure on her closed eyelids, tearing up from the awfully strong stench of the toxins she had been experimenting with. Months prior, she had received an invitation from her sister. She was missed, said the letter delivered to her by Clotho. And in all honesty, [Name] was entirely aware of that fact; of how her absence was a dagger twisting inside her closest sister’s heart; of how badly Feyre had been hurting. [Name] couldn’t do a thing against her own numbness, her silence and lack of expression; she didn’t wish to strike a conversation with a single soul, but Feyre had called, and [Name] would always answer.
Though the female was barely there, her sister did not quit: they sat together for hours in her studio as she finished a painting, commenting on her routine in order to encourage [Name] to do the same. Between the humming reverberating on the porcelain of [Name]’s warm teacup, and her mute nods and forced smiles, Feyre had caught onto something and ended their brief encounter, no longer sending letters, as [Name] knew the youngest began to feel as though she was a bother.
When [Name] left her sister’s newest home — seeing patterns of her in every wall and furniture and color — she was fighting back tears, cursing herself for the consequences of the overbearing and paralyzing sadness that came after a particular morning, when she woke up with enough time to ponder on her purpose in that new life, and realized she had none. Although [Name] refused to linger her glance on the pieces her sister painted, they gave her a small thread of hope, an olive branch to be offered in the future. Throughout her small talk and monologues, Feyre did complain that she was struggling with a specific painting of her mate in the Summer Court. She scurried through every shop in Velaris, and still couldn’t find an ink with the exact shade of violet of his eyes when the sun shone on it. [Name] didn’t quite understand the rest — something about how she couldn’t create the colors herself because it was impossible to get it right — but what she did decide was to try and give her sister that small gift. 
Of course, that proved to be a hassle.
[Name] decided that the conventional path would serve her for nothing. Feyre was a fantastic and experienced artist, combining already-made ink and trying to get a result through red and blue and droplets of white had led her sister nowhere. [Name] would not succeed where her sister had failed, not when art, and many other matters, were concerned. Of course, she resorted to someplace else, traveled to the inside of a place that had never once left her alone: science.
Chemistry, to be more precise. It was a somewhat unknown concept, poor in substantiation and mostly filled with theories that, on their hand, inspired and fed countless experiments. Experiments that she meant to learn from in order to conduct her own; a path that, of course, was infertile and leading nowhere.
[Name] had been tied to Velaris. Her departure was inconceivable: the barriers kept the female in place, regardless of the animal form she chose to overfly it. Her options, of course, grew limited to the scarce flora of the mountains, hence her constant flights of exploration. She found wild red roses and blue tiger-lilies; squashed the petals and placed them on separate glass-jars, filled with an alcoholic solution she created with sugar, yeast and water. After that, things grew slightly more complicated. [Name] calculated the amount of petals and alcohol to create paints with different tones of blue and red, started to mix them together and attempted to achieve the said variation of violet. Once that failed her, [Name] started to collect resin from the trees, create her own solution of water and propylene that would serve as a solvent, and finally, add the pigment.
Resin, solvent, pigment. She had been creating ink after ink ever since, her eyes wet and her fingers scarred from the constant contact with acid; her limbs tired from the everyday transformations of her fae body to the body of a gyrfalcon; and yet, the violet desired by her sister was never found.
After months into that search filled with failing attempts, [Name] noticed that she had lost her reasons. The process of finding that exact shade of violet was no longer an olive branch to be offered to Feyre: it was a reason for her to remain awake in the night — to fight off the sleep that often came with nightmares from times she did not wish to remember. From overflying the mountains in the morning; to finding the spot she claimed to train her throws with daggers; to reading and studying at the library in the afternoon, weirdly mourning the absence of Bryaxis, the monster that kept her company before the war; to creating paint from dusk to morrow, repeating the entire process every single day; those were all a well-manufactured web of excuses.
[Name] did not wish to be left alone with her thoughts. She first tried it during her father’s burial — the one she refused to attend, deciding to be by herself instead — and it did not end well. Reminiscing was a troubling effort, for the previous battle was a blur. [Name] could remember overflying the field in the gyrfalcon form, dodging the attacks of the dark faeries; she could remember being in the middle of it, too far from Feyre, even further from Elain and Nesta; she could remember her father arriving with four well-familiar ships and men-at-arms to reinforce their armies; she could remember Hybern’s hiding fleet that had followed them close, with at least six thousand soldiers.
Then, came the rage.
Her sisters were fighting Hybern: Feyre was trying to connect with the Cauldron that stole everything from them; her allies were about to be faced with an unfair battle at the bay, and she could do nothing to prevent it. Once again, she found herself being an useless burden, unable to protect her sisters, regardless of her efforts and training; regardless of her wits and her words; she was never enough. The poverty, Feyre being taken away by Tamlin, her sisters being thrown inside the Cauldron, Elain being kidnapped right under her nose, were all but some of the most crucial moments in which she failed them. Despite the things [Name] did to give them comfort, the people she murdered, the lives she financially ruined, the men she was touched by, all for her sisters to suffer still, to grieve and to face horrors [Name] had, too, failed to shield them from.
Rage brought forward a boisterous roar. The clouds darkened, thunder competed against the deafening shout of a vengeful and seemingly-wounded animal. [Name] moved her head down and saw nothing but a terrifyingly huge and fast shadow, flying towards the open sea. She felt her throat burn, her jaw oddly heavy as she opened it, and then lightning: pure chaotic energy, mortal and devastating, passed through her mouth and teeth with yet another roar. It took a second for her mind to wrap around the fact that the beast — that thunderous and large creature — was her. After that, she was led by rage and instinct, her mind a fog that couldn’t process the events through the lenses of the creature.
Tapping into the dragon’s core — trying to understand it — terrified her. The feelings that it brought, the chaos and glimpses that it gave her, it was all too much. The treacherous act of repression against the dragon inside had brought her immense sadness. [Name] had watched as Feyre met her happiness, protected by a male that loved her beyond himself; had watched as Nesta moved out, her coping mechanisms against pain being so similar to the ones [Name] herself had once resorted to; had watched as Elain tried to make for a comfortable home in that new life, filled with the support of Feyre’s new family. [Name] had watched as the world — and everyone around her —  moved quite too fast, while she was stuck in the same spot, sitting alone in the cold as the realization came to mind: she no longer had use to them.
[Name], who had ceased to weep when her first sister was born; [Name], who had been raised to provide for them through the heritage of their father’s business; [Name], who had abandoned herself and her innocence to a brothel so that her sisters could have food and proper clothes; [Name], whose life had been dedicated to give them comfort, to shield them from misery, was no longer necessary. Her task had been gladfully taken from her shoulders, and [Name] couldn’t help but wish that she had clung to it a little tighter.
But then, realization came: she was no longer required to aid her sisters, but there were still people left in the mortal lands that had once relied on her. Perhaps, if she tied the business left open, if she checked on their financial situation after her departure, that would give her closure. Hence to say, Azriel’s proposition was the whiff of summer-air that caressed her skin where the cold previously hurt. He was her getaway from the suffocating barriers of Velaris, from the acid air of her room, from the shackles of her thoughts. The male was freedom.
Or so she thought. 
She had waited for his second knock for an entire week. If their matters were as urgent as he stated, then surely he meant to be his annoying-prick-self first thing on the morrow, barging in with that infuriating grin and the banters she secretly missed. But he vanished — literally. [Name] wasn’t sure why she had expected otherwise.
The sight of their piled gifts was a knife that she refused to turn inside herself; it was the excruciating pain of knowing one had been a disappointment to others, that one had failed to grab the hands of those who were extending it. However, she did grab Azriel’s gifts, presuming it was a clear message of her intentions. The male gave her a weapon she had no experience with; surely, if [Name] retrieved it from the pile, he’d understand that small peace offering of hers and they’d grow closer yet again. Because, regardless of her words and her poison, [Name] did value their once long held conversations. Azriel had been the one to strategize with her, he had been the one to search for her in the crowds, he had been the one to sit with her through a whole night after Elain’s kidnapping, and after sleep stopped coming to [Name] entirely.
He was a friend that she abruptly pushed away and that, yet, insisted on fighting against her voice. Keeping his gift close to her chest should have been enough to drive him nearer, but perhaps she had been too arrogant in her thoughts. For months, [Name] witnessed his never-ending struggle against the chains of her power, his obstination to go against her orders, to offer an aiding hand, and for months, he failed. Until, as it seemed, he stopped trying.
The worst, most devastating part of it all, was that at the time, she wasn’t sure whether his sudden absence was deliberate or a direct consequence of her power. Azriel fought against her speech for such a long time that when he ceased, [Name] couldn’t tell if he lost that battle, or free-willingly walked away. She had presumed it wasn’t the latter, no one managed to get rid of her treacherous grip once they were caught by it. Hence why she loathed the Cauldron the most, it gave her not a power but a death sentence, the living proof that her mother was right all along. [Name] was not a living being, she was a slick force of chaos that used her speech to manipulate and cheat and lie. The female could not control that aspect of herself, therefore, she failed to control the intensity with which her commands affected those around her. 
She did attempt to learn more about their extent and whether the voice intonation was of any importance when it came to her power’s usage. However, she reached no conclusion. It was a concept so simple, yet so maleficent. The results would always be the same, regardless of external speech factors; a whisper of hers had the ability of convincing a powerful foe to throw himself off a cliff, so long as he heard her and understood the language she spoke in. Cruel, dishonest, menacing. The power capable of annihilating an entire army, of sending previous allies against one another. The damage it could cause when combined to her shapeshifting was incalculable, yet the thought did not reassure her regarding her strength. Instead, it showed [Name] that in a world of capable warriors and diplomats and leaders, she didn’t fit in a single of them; she was the poison mingled with wine and ministered to those who were fair, she was the least trustworthy, the least honored one — she was a monster.
[Name] had spent nine years of her life wishing that someone would be merciful enough to attend her request to kill her. And apparently, now she was fated to spend the rest of her miserable and immortal existence commanding the acts of every sentient being around her, while actively wishing that at least one refused to obey her. [Name] had been strong ever since she was a small toddler, arguing for the privilege of having her hair combed first. Even then, she had always been prepared to fight for what she wanted or judged correct. Rather than using brute force, [Name] relied on the efficiency of well-aimed words and smiles and praises thrown at those who valued it; she was a little girl on a stage, playing countless parts and having countless masks to please whoever was near in order to achieve her ambitions. It was who she was at her core, regardless of her mother’s thoughts on the matter. [Name] didn’t know how to live, if not by fighting to convince others to respect her stance and thoughts, and deem her a valuable ally. And suddenly, there was no need for her to pick such battles, because the fighting spirit could be stolen from everyone else, if only she desired as such.
During her darkest times, it was the thrill of a debate that managed to keep her alive, the soothing adrenaline of emerging victorious from a purchase. When the touch of men grew too harsh or too violent, when their hunger and greed tore her soul apart, the solace of her being could be found in a well-balanced chess match played against herself or other activities that she considered challenging. Upon noticing that it was no longer required of her to strive, to fight, the world around her grew null. The Cauldron stole too much, in the process of giving her too much.
There was no point in entering a match, when one knew they already won. Whatever were the strategies she offered, the propositions she gave, the arguments she spoke, so long as she triggered her voice correctly, they would abide by. The prospect of their lack of opposition, of counter-arguments, was exasperating. The Priestesses simply nodded when she commanded them to grant her access to prohibited lanes. Her conversations ceased to be interesting. Even an ancient monster, one feared for it represented the concept of nightmares itself, felt victim to her commands. There wasn’t a single being residing in that world that [Name] failed to convince. 
Where, before, others around her bent to the strength of her will, the wittiness of her words, now, they just bent. She didn’t need to argue anymore, didn’t need to fight. The very reason for her euphoria regarding life was gone. [Name] had endured enough pain — metaphorical and physical — survived enough aches, to understand that the loss of what the Cauldron had claimed from her was something she could never recover from.
Yet, the most devastating acknowledgement came when she caught herself relying on such a curse. Quickly enough, the comfort of immediately having whatever she needed became addicting. Whenever she grew tired of an argument, of the debate to convince one to do something she wished for, [Name] crawled back to the comfortable bushes of control. At first, it was impossible. The words that fell from her lips were poisonous, even when she didn’t mean to order, even when it was barely a suggestion — a request — whoever heard would give her what she wished.
[Name] found herself slipping into madness, stumbling through darkness, until she understood that the curse that fell upon her might as well be the opening key for her biggest punishment. She stole a mirror from a nearby room and started to practice on herself, over and over, hour after hour, the female stared at her own reflection and polished the control of her capabilities. Her suggestions were, again, suggestions, her voice would only be harmful if so she wished to. [Name] granted herself the privilege of speaking with others without fearing to accidentally command them; yet, the more time she spent with herself and her thoughts and her frustration, the less she wished to interact with the external world.
Worst came to her when, during one of her experiments — while Nesta and the reminiscent parties of the Inner Circle had traveled to a Council with the other High-Lords — [Name] accidentally exploded her bathtub. Cassian barged in, quick as the wind and as armed as he could, fearing an intromission, only to find [Name] all covered in soot. He had helped her clean the entire thing — even though both knew the House of Wind could magically do it by itself — and all in the while, they talked. First, it was of politics and the upcoming war, followed by their Court’s plans, the Cauldron, [Name]’s trauma and even a small bit of his own. The commander was emotionally smart and entirely non-judgmental. The female relied on him and his council, watched as a small friendship started to bloom, and ended up teaching him how to polish his chess abilities until he advised they should get some sleep.
It was a pleasant day, one [Name] hadn’t experienced in months. Yet, the fear accompanied by what she confided was paralyzing, so much that she commanded Cassian to forget about it all: what she told him, the explosion, their chess matches. It didn’t matter that he, too, had told her personal things of his past; it didn’t matter that it was unfair of her to keep his secrets while actively denying him the rights to be reminded of her own ones; in that moment, she meant only to keep herself safe, to keep the mask of the unshakeable sister intact. And so, she controlled him, stole his free-will, and was met with no opposition.
[Name] found herself unable to face the general ever since, yet it seemed as though he hadn’t forgotten entirely, or, in the very least, his instincts and care weren’t as laid-back as they were before that day. Perhaps her commands lost strength if her will wasn’t as strict; perhaps a traitorous part of her wished that her voice would fail to work and, as a consequence, her grip wasn’t as strong. Regardless, she hasn’t used that power ever since. It was awful enough to have a blood-lust dragon residing inside her heart, [Name] didn’t need to be met with more trouble. Besides, she had a problem of bigger importance in mind: the reason why Azriel was immune.
[Name] left her bedroom, swiftly moving towards the library in one of the many alternative routes she found efficient when it came to avoiding the two Illyrian warriors that once insisted on checking up on her. Upon entering, she waved at Clotho, noticing the deep purple color on her fingertips. The priestess placed a white tissue on the counter, and [Name] moved to grab it, beginning to scrub her skin clean.
“You’re early today,” she wrote out curiously. In fact, she was. Usually, at this hour, [Name] would be at her training spot, in a secluded space amidst the furthest mountain range. But, because she wasn’t sure when Azriel meant to call her for their training, [Name] chose not to leave the House of Wind at all, fearing to miss his knocks.
“I’ve been adjusting my routine,” she lied. As insane as it sounded, the female could almost feel the huff that Clotho meant to give her. [Name] didn’t smile at her — she rarely did smile at all nowadays — but she did attempt to give the priestess a reassuring glance.
When [Name] was first introduced to the immensity of that library, Clotho had been the one to welcome her. At the time, granting her access to that space seemed to be Rhysand’s way of offering [Name] an agreement of peace, one that she willingly accepted, for the amount of books and knowledge and possibilities inside that place was more than enough. She didn’t yet speak at the time, fearing that her voice might come out as a command, and she could still remember Clotho’s handwritten note, slipped inside her pocket. When [Name] had found it, she almost wept. 
This is a safe place. You needn’t fear nor cower from it. We’re all females.
Females who had suffered from fates similar to [Name]’s. Females who understood the invisible mind scarring — and physical scarring, too — left by the worst a male could offer. Females who would never judge, for they shared her hurt, and fought the same battles. She had never stopped visiting since. Whether it was to read her fair amount of books, to share a moment of silence, or to, at least when it was still possible, spend time with Bryaxis. [Name] found solace inside that place, and strived not to bother whoever resided in it.
Quietly, the female made her way to the corridor reserved to the almost untouched books that were written in the ancient language. At first, the thought of mastering it seemed absurd and ambitious. The language itself was filled with trials and ambiguous phrasing — [Name] had studied countless alphabets throughout her brief mortal life, and was still left aghast at the complexity of them all. However, moving past her initial desperation, determined to spend her time with activities that could be of use in the future, [Name] began to learn through association. The ancient language was somewhat close to the Glacolithic, Runic, and Ogham alphabets: three written-patterns found in excavations and searches by the mortals from the continents beyond the great ocean. Of course, [Name] didn’t speak any of those, but she did study certain translations before, when life was easier and she had a purpose.
Afterwards, the task grew slightly less demanding, though it remained tiresome. [Name] had to resort to tactics from her childhood and teen-years, in which she would read a text in a foreign language, circle the words she did not have knowledge of, rewrite them in a separate paper and then proceed to search about their meaning. Before the war, she had Bryaxis to scoff at her naivety, correct her terrible pronunciation, and guide her through some phrases. Overall, even if it refused to do a thing more — for it enjoyed watching her exasperation — the creature proved to be quite an useful teacher. However, as of now, with Bryaxis long lost, [Name] had to work with her already-gained knowledge, which was maddening. If she was even a little more advanced, she would’ve been able to read a specific book that promised to solve more than half her problems: The Binding Magic of the Fae and Other Rare Talents. When the Archeron moved towards the shelf, she scoffed at the said book’s cover and grabbed the one next to it instead: Fables and Myths for Unruly Children.
[Name] sat at the closest table, searching for the page in which she had stopped reading the day before. Because materials written in the ancient language were rare — and such few understood it, since they lacked the basis [Name] herself had been privileged enough to get from Bryaxis — the fae gathered whichever book or text or diary they could find, so long as the pages had the complicated alphabet of those who came before them. Childishly, they believed that every book was academic, which led them to retain it, all offering the same excuse: one day, they would learn the ancient language; one day, they would get to read and understand the pages of the piece they found. Of course, they never did. Hence why, in that very moment, [Name] was finishing to read the fable of a very stupid Queen that ignored the warnings of a witch and ended up giving birth to a dragon, rather than a child.
“That’s such a terrible moral,” she muttered to herself, suddenly being reminded of why she had decided to stop reading that book in the first place.
Mid-sentence, she felt his presence without a single failure of a heartbeat. When [Name] was yet a mortal, Azriel found it amusing to arrive unannounced, hiding in the shadows until she passed by, appearing behind her with a shit-eating grin that only grew when she jumped out of her skin and cursed him out loud. The Spymaster managed to pull that prank thrice before she grew used to it. [Name] would never fail to spot his figure, regardless of how well-hid he was: the shadows around him were different, the air hung with an odd electricity whenever the male was near, and she could guess his position based on instinct alone.
It wasn’t a surprise to raise her eyes from the book and catch sight of him sitting on the chair in front of her. Azriel moved his head to take a glimpse of the text at hand and frowned upon noticing the language in which it was written.
“I didn’t know you were allowed to this part of the library,” he stated matter-of-factly, waiting for a confirmation that she refused to give him: I wasn’t, until I commanded them to believe otherwise.
“It’s been seven days,” [Name] retorted, ignoring his previous point. She closed the book of fables and myths with unnecessary strength, cringing at the loud sound it made.
“You’ve been counting. Eager, much?”
His taunt made her blood boil — although she did ignore the fact that her cheeks felt hotter all of the sudden. Azriel’s grin, and the confident manner with which he placed his hands on his nape, pointed out that he, on the other hand, did not. The second he opened his mouth — whether it was to tease her some more or try to get to her nerves — [Name] interrupted him.
“Fall from the chair,” she commanded, and he rolled his eyes at her, nearly scowling. At least she had wiped off the grin from his face.
“Nice try,” the Spymaster told her with annoying nonchalance and that unknown immunity she could not track the source from.
“Couldn’t hurt,” [Name] shrugged, and he felt silent with his arms closed.
When Azriel had been assigned to a position in which he needed to return to the Archeron manner weekly, Feyre pushed her older sister aside for a private conversation. Her voice was soft — yet more mature, as if Feyre had aged five decades in five months — while she tried to soothe [Name]’s tension. She could still remember the slight heads-up, the promise that Azriel was naturally quiet and introspective, and that did not mean that he held some unspoken grudge against her or her ideas. Although that proved to be true to some degree, [Name] was quick to notice that the male was not as quiet as previously stated. Each word of his carried some sort of taunt or invite to a private competition that [Name] never failed to accept or stumble upon. The male seemed to thrive on her annoyance, and though she was not entirely amused herself, [Name] noted the clear difference between his treatment towards her, and the general treatment she received from others.
After an entire decade of misery and prostitution, [Name] saw herself as though a crumbling stone fortress, one that once stood high and tall, proudful and unshakable, but that started to deteriorate with the acid rain and the constant attacks from external forces. The fortress was filled with mug and cracks and thorns, and people grew wary whenever they approached it. No one treated her the same, as if they feared that a single touch would be enough for the entire fortress to crumble entirely; she could sense their hesitance in their contradiction, their pity and the glances given whenever they thought she wasn’t looking. Azriel challenged her, treated her like he would everyone else. Even when she was a mortal whose life hung by a limited thread, he valued her thoughts, and never once sugarcoated his words. 
As of now, she could yet feel the same determination and notice the same treatment. Even though [Name] had spent nearly a year hiding away, avoiding the reality and feeling stuck in the same place, Azriel refused to act as though she was a scared and lashing animal in the woods: he was not wary nor was he pitiful — he was ruthless, challenging, taunting, his logic and sense of duty matching her own. Azriel was everything that she needed at that moment.
However, that did not mean that she was willing to give him any further sense of amusement. Her pride was a chalice of lethal poison, one that she drank from until there was not a single droplet left. To fill their silence with an inquiry meant that he would have a possible confirmation of her eagerness, and [Name] would rather share a teacup of warm tar with her late grandmother inside the Cauldron than to fulfill his ego.
She felt a slight tug coming from his mind. Because her abilities granted her free-passage, regardless of their barriers, to the thoughts of those around her, [Name] made sure to never roam close to the limits of their brains. A single misstep was enough for her to stumble on the deep roots of one’s memories, and she learned the consequences of her accidental prying when, during a shared dinner, [Name] was bombarded with the indecent mental-conversation held by Feyre and her mate. Since it was rude — and awkward — to listen to those small things left unsaid, [Name] learned to deactivate that side of her power, and only did use them when invited to. That tug coming from his part was an invitation, as if he had opened the front gate of his mental barrier and invited her in.
With a slight raise of her eyebrow, [Name] extended the invisible string of her power, entering his mind. Surprisingly enough, Azriel seemed to have closed his fist around it, not letting go of that small connection between them. Although his expression remained that same one of nonchalance, the memories sent her way explained enough of the given situation, and what led the Inner Circle to vote for her training and participation in that particular task. 
It was a marvel to witness how one’s train of thoughts mirrored their particular personality. Azriel’s memories were brief and to-the-point; he didn’t dwell much on unnecessary details and favored an efficient approach that covered most of the basis as fast as it could. It was as though he was in a constant state of haste, a master-spy that understood the importance of offering a good résumé in a limited span of time.
“Who would’ve thought you hold me to such high regards?” Azriel taunted, and she blinked, caught offhand.
“What?”
“A master-spy?”
“You can read my thoughts as well?” [Name] inquired, too shocked to take note of his cockiness. 
“Was I not supposed to?” His grin fell from his face, giving way to a wary crease of his forehead.
“It never happened before,” and though she chose her words with care, the female could feel the sudden pressure around her reach, understanding that the Spymaster was demanding her to leave his mind. She did as it was urged, respectfully stepping away from his conscience. A further inspection of his sudden rigid features told her that he did not mean to speak on the later occurrence, and aware of his vexing capacity of staying silent for a long period of time, [Name] changed the subject to what mattered the most. “Why am I the one most suitable to breach Montesere’s barriers?”
Azriel stretched, shifting uncomfortably in his seat — one that was obviously not meant for the wings of an Illyrian warrior — and sat upright. His expression was one of concentration, whereas his stance was the same he held whenever he meant to speak in a tone of politics and strategies. It made her reminisce those hours spent inside the four walls of her office, discussing tactics based on the most accurate predictions of their opponents’ movements, and her chest ached with sudden longing.
“Montesere had a particularly rough war against Vallahan, a hundred years after the First War against Hybern,” he briefly began to summarize, and [Name] failed to hold her tongue.
“Yes, I’ve read about it,” she interrupted, mentally scolding herself.
“Why would you read about Montesere, of all places?” Azriel inquired, before realization passed over his features. “Right, their dragons.”
It was an affirmation. He did not need to ask that of her, when the answer presented itself as white as a layer of untouched and recent snow. [Name] did not mean to lie either, even if the misleading sentence was formed not longer after he deduced her past reasoning. The two had never lied to one another, or so she preferred to presume. Without a doubt, both hid their fair sum of secrets, but it was not of their character to dance around the truth whenever the other figured a thing or two out. It was a dynamic as old as their unstable friendship — if one could call it that way — and one the pair remained loyal to for more than a year. She never would have told him of her research about the dragons during the most ungodly hours of the night — at least not then — yet, since his speculations came close enough to the truth, [Name] would not lie to him either.
“I traced their origins and inevitable extinction back to Montesere,” she confirmed, the fact alone bringing an odd sense of grief to her chest. Those next words came as a whisper, hardly audible. “I figured they weren’t creatures from our world, which was somehow soothing. These realms are so filled with magic, it was a nice twist to learn of something fantastical that we had no access to.”
Azriel stared at her in silent pondering, and [Name] caught the phantom of a warmth glance sent her way before he masked it. “We don’t know exactly when the dragons roamed into our world. The most acceptable theory is that another portal opened up, one similar to the one that brought Amren, and some creatures passed through it. Amidst the chaos of the war, every King and High-Lord was too preoccupied with their barriers and battles to take note of a lone portal somewhere near Montesere. We presume it happened during or after the conflict.”
“Of course,” [Name] agreed with a slight movement of her shoulders. “They would have used the dragons against their enemies’ forces — your forces — otherwise. The fact that they didn’t merely points out that there was no time to train those creatures or tame them.”
He hummed in confirmation. “After Hybern’s defeat, his allies were left in economical misery. But we had no idea of those dragons whatsoever until Montesere’s battle against Vallahan. Considering the scarce extension of their nation’s territory, a sudden declaration of war was imminent. They had no space to train those dragons, and surely enough, Vallahan offered the expansion they needed.”
“I’ve read that those dragons spat fire,” she muttered, haunted by the loss of a sight she would never have a glimpse of. “But it was not enough to conquer Vallahan.”
“Fire can not breach solid stone,” Azriel pointed out, and [Name] did not miss how he hid his hands under his armpits. “Vallahan has the geographical advantage of being surrounded by a steep and towering extension of mountain ranges. To spit fire, Montesere’s dragons needed to reach the Capital, and once the kingdom started to retaliate—”
“I know,” she sharply stopped him. “They placed catapults on strategic points of those mountains. Even so, I hardly think those traps were responsible for so many losses. A dragon is unstoppable in the air.”
“They had a very scarce training,” Azriel retorted, and though his taunt was imminent, she fell victim to his invitation, well aware that he meant to rile her up in order to understand how well-educated she was in that particular subject.
“Most were grown during their passage, those dragons weren’t lacking in terms of flight,” [Name] scowled, sitting upright herself. Mentally, she could see a chess board unravel — those sixty-four black and white tiles that, somehow, always managed to be a metaphor whenever a conversation between them was concerned.  
“They lacked discipline.”
“They lacked purpose,” she hissed, surprised at her own rage. “Montesere sawed their back-spines to make way to their saddles, chastised them with whips, and stole them of their previous freedom. Most of those creatures threw themselves on the mountains with the intention of retrieving their free-will through death.”
The Cemetery of Rocks. [Name] once saw the name in an old map. It was written all over the mountain range of Vallahan, and she trembled with the mere thought of how many dragon skulls and bones laid on those lands. 
“It might be true but it’s not the entire reason, you know that,” Azriel half-conceded, and his trust on her judgment despite her past outburst was astonishing. [Name] blinked, regaining her composure not longer after.
“Well, obviously. The altitude of those mountains was an opponent of its own. The safest crossing option was through the highest route, but an unprepared rider would lose consciousness with the lack of air that came from such tall heights,” the female absentmindedly completed, growing tired of that conversation. It was more a genocide than a war, and at each attempt to breach Vallahan’s borders, Montesere returned with less dragons and soldiers, until there were none left. “But that’s not the point, is it? What have they done after that loss?”
“Montesere raised a magical barrier,” Azriel commented with a grimace. It was clear that, for his own reasons, he was not quite pleased with that obstacle.
“I caught on to that, what surprises me is how long you took to find out,” it was not a taunt on her part. She was merely being sincere. “Neglecting them to that extent seems reckless.”
“It was, but we all had worse worries than Montesere at the time. Hewn City, the Illyrian soldiers’ insolence towards the Night Court’s orders, and our own lack of experience on how to manage the entire territory after Rhys’ father passed away are just some examples of our concerns. We did send them letters, but those remained unanswered.”
“You’re finding excuses,” now, that was a taunt.
He broke into a grin. “Think you could have done better?”
“I’m sure that I could.”
“You’ll get to prove that soon enough. Our efforts can’t breach through their barriers, we’re hoping that your magic will be the exception.”
“Because I was Made?”
The memory was painful enough, and he merely nodded before rising from his uncomfortable seat. “Go grab your stuff, we’re leaving now.”
Although that was a thing she had anticipated, [Name] was startled with his abruptness still. Giving herself a moment to recollect her thoughts and priorities, she remained glued to her chair. “We’ll train and go to the Mortal Lands. I’m not helping otherwise.”
“I have the tattoo to remind me of that,” he bit back with a roll of his eyes. “And even if I didn’t, I could still drag your ass to our training site.”
“You’d lose both your hands before you got the chance to,” she threatened, the thought of a male touch bringing back memories that she was quick to bury.
“To do that, you’d need to shift into something more harmful than a small bird,” he spoke with a boredom that made her want to claw at his neck. How he was aware of her morning flights, she had no interest in finding out, but his remark boiled her blood regardless, and the challenging expression on his face let her know that Azriel mentioned that on purpose. 
With an everlasting sourness, [Name] strolled to her bedroom, nearly kicking the door open as she went to grab her pack. Azriel, who was close behind her, coughed immediately, and the sound made her smile briefly. She felt the phantom touch of a daring shadow on her shoulder, as if it hummed contentedly with the slight shift in her mood.
“What the hell have you been doing here? It smells like horse shit,” he complained. [Name] made no move to open up the windows — she merely closed the bathroom door — and Azriel’s eyes laid on the shadow on her shoulder.
“Leave it be,” she hissed at him with a scolding glare, growing tired of his urge to drive his shadows away from her. Azriel’s scoff was muffled by his arm as he had used it to cover his nose. “I was trying to replicate your scent, did you not like it?”
The second they moved from the stench of her bedroom and towards the main balcony, Azriel’s impossible behavior returned. “I had no idea you missed me that much. What was the plan afterwards, sprinkle the perfume on a pillow and hug it in your sleep?”
“You’re despicable.”
“You’re speechless.”
As the pair approached the main hall, [Name] did not fail to note the absence of her sisters. Her mind was conflicted, unsure on whether that occurrence was deserving of relief or grief. Falling quiet and crossing her arms, she had decided on both. No one but herself could be blamed for the insecurity of her younger sisters regarding [Name]’s feelings on a farewell visit of their part. Her emotional withdrawal had brought the solitude that ravaged her insides, a bittersweet and well-deserved fate: to miss her sisters as a punishment for how badly and frequently she had failed them.
“You’re leaving already?” A particularly deep voice came from behind them, and [Name]’s body grew rigid at the sound. Shadows curled on her nape and shoulders, seeming to whisper a soothing harmony on her ear.
“It’s been a week,”  Azriel shifted on his heels to stare at his brother, and his shoulder brushed hers slightly. [Name] almost missed his warmth.
“So? You weren’t given a deadline,” Cassian noted. The female moved ever so slightly to stare at him, unable to bear with her impoliteness otherwise. Azriel’s shadows accompanied her frame as her back met the nearest wall, and [Name] waved awkwardly when Cassian’s warm, hazel eyes laid on her. 
“Doesn’t make the situation less urgent,” the Shadowsinger retorted. Cassian tore his glance from [Name] lazily, observing his brother with his mouth tightly shut. The two seemed to have a quiet, yet heated argument, their expressions shifting as they spoke in a secret language born from centuries of acquaintanceship.
At last, Cassian’s shoulders slumped a bit. Whatever those glances and the discussion hidden in between them meant, the General raised the flag of surrender. [Name] could still see the creases on his forehead, the predictions and strategies regarding Azriel’s motivations, but it became clear that he would rather not voice them nor meddle any further.
She was slightly startled, whatsoever, at the sudden outburst of foreign thoughts that poured inside her own mind. Regardless of the barriers and training to maintain one’s consciousness on a leash, during certain stressing moments, it was natural to lose a bit of that composure and untighten the ruthless clutch, allowing the river currents of thoughts to run its wild course. Whenever [Name] attempted to put that specific occurrence into words, she felt as though a madwoman would. How could she complain to Cassian that, unbeknownst to him, he started to think too loudly? The female caught an overall understanding of his worries and hesitation before burying her power, refusing to pry on the General’s mind without his consent. 
What she heard, however, was clear enough. Although guilt tore her apart with its greedy fingers, clawing on skin and muscle, [Name] offered a nod of reassurance and a small upward curve of her lips to Cassian, attempting to demonstrate her willingness to ignite a frail ember of friendship. He was suddenly aghast, but the grin that broke free was almost a key to free her from the self-imposed prison of remorse.
“Give him hell,” Cassian told her, pointing to Azriel with his head. A single shadow roamed closer to her face at the act, and [Name]’s grin somehow found a way to her lips. 
“Planning on it.”
Azriel rolled his eyes and his brother gave his shoulder a nudge, offering [Name] a last farewell smile before he made his way to the stairwell at the end of the hallway. The female was well aware of where that path led: the training rink at the very top of the House of Wind. She had started to observe the entire architecture of the place from the first moment her feet met its surface. [Name] studied the cracks and turns and patterns, from the substructure to the truss, and was left mesmerized at the intrinsic manner with which the house converged with the mountain it was built on. [Name] had concluded that, if not for the aid of magic, the entire structure would not last longer than a single month in such hostile ground. It was, matter-of-factly, a finished subject: magic had built what the common hands could not. However, she could not help the wandering thoughts and plans, pondering the most suitable approach to use was she the one assigned to architect the foundation, with nothing more than calculus and trials.
It was a pastime that came back from when she was but a toddler, fidgeting with her hands and sitting on her father’s lap at his office. [Name] was an eager girl, aware of her responsibilities as the oldest, desperate to learn more of the Archeron trade. Of course, her father could not teach a single important subject regarding the stratagems of a merchant’s life to a child of six, for she would scarcely understand the basis. Rather than sending her off to find suitable entertainment elsewhere, the man gave her detailed drawings of the family’s fleet, instructing that she was to trace the ships’ plans and try to recreate it with as much accuracy as she could. Soon enough, [Name] began to draw ships of her own, using a ruler and the knowledge gained with the already done projects she so eagerly stared at. The interest evolved, from ships to houses to structures with many floors and windows. [Name] enjoyed the process of drawing particular projects through calculus, the right pencil and different sorts of rulers and compasses; she adored the immersion of her observation; her attempts to guess the thought-process of the one responsible to architect the base of the finished construction where she stood. 
Yet, it was an infertile and incongruous activity. Someone of her age and responsibilities could not give oneself the luxury of wasting time on straight lined-doodles and unfinished ideas.
[Name] had spent much of her years reading about economy, learning about negotiations, practicing the sweet-tongued mischief that led one to agree to a risky, yet calculated partnership. It was a necessary sacrifice, for it granted her younger sisters the freedom and privilege to dedicate themselves to more pleasant pastimes. Elain fell for the art of gardening, Feyre began to experiment with paintings, and even Nesta had, for a while, devoted herself to dancing, before their mother managed to poison that love too. It was not proper for [Name] to try and do the same — not when her passions were so strict, and scarcely as interesting as her sisters’.
Chess was an interesting game with valuable strategies that could be recreated in battle; chemistry aided her understanding of their world, for it could be found everywhere, and was an important tool when it came to the creation of substances and devices that didn’t rely on magic; the studies of the weather and barometric were crucial if one meant to predict the most appropriate moment to patch off a fleet of goods; and even those silly texts about body language had somehow helped her in her craft. But coming up with the structure of mansions and houses, alternative internal systems and weaponry? It was of no use.
[Name] had ceased to dream of those creations, and decided to never draw a single thing again after she had nearly crumbled at the sight of her father, coming to Velaris with four ships — the same ones she drew, the same ones she showed him, the same ones whose plans he kept safe, even during poverty — to aid in their battle against Hybern. It should not be hard to abandon those childish desires after such a brutal loss. However, during most of the times, the female caught herself observing and predicting, as she was doing just then, and had to tear her gaze from the walls, forcing her mind back to the present.
“There’s drool on your chin,” Azriel called out through gritted teeth and an odd, ironical smile, as she moved to touch her skin, scowling at him immediately. “We could stay for another hour if you want to stare a little more.”
Despite the venom on his words, [Name] gave the male an ironic grin. “I’m sure that wall is much more interesting than whatever you’ll have to show me.”
“Right,” he scoffed. “The wall.”
Azriel walked straight through her, and his shadows moved all around him, covering the outline of his broad back in the incorporeal of pitch-black. The sudden abandonment of both left her puzzled, and the silence that overcame their past banter was a fruit of their bewilderment.
Upon reaching the balcony, [Name] was reminded of Clotho’s note. Observing the position in which the sun held itself on the sky, she noted that it was, indeed, quite early. Time had the odd tendency of becoming a mere nuisance when one was too focused on a more pleasant task, and to [Name], who thought very little of reality and dreamt of detaching herself from it, the passage of time was constantly forgotten. She thought it was, at best, one in the afternoon. Instead, her brief glance told her it couldn’t be past nine.
Azriel leaned sideways on the balcony, staring at her with a vexing expression of impatience. Her scowl all but deepened as she followed in suit, noting how the yet-to-be warm sunrays basked on the columns, all made of white stone and marble. [Name] was sure that an artist of some sort had been a part of the construction, for architecture could only travel so far alone. The pattern of those columns, from the base to the abacus, surpassed the limitations of a ruler and calculus: it was the heritage of a talented artist who understood and valued Velaris, who managed to engrave a Starfall with nothing but marble and argil. It was magnificent, and yet, she would have enjoyed the observation better if not for a bad-mannered Illyrian soldier groaning at her delay.
“Where are we meant to go?” [Name] inquired, ignoring his ill temper. “If you try to drag me to those Illyrian mountains I’m going back to my room.”
“And survive amidst that stench?” Azriel mocked, finally breaking into a grin. “We have a deal.”
“That never mentioned where you would be training me. I ain’t going back there.”
“As much as I would love to drag you and watch as you gave them reasons to call the Archeron sisters witches,” he commented, seeming to be delighted with his own thoughts. “I, too, won’t step foot into that hole unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
The sudden bitterness in his tone made her swallow the taunt that hung prepared at the tip of her tongue. She, instead, fixed the bag on her shoulder and moved closer, seeing the fall that awaited for a misstep, as though a starving beast. Ten thousand steps. A journey she had never longed for, never had the need for either. To create wings was, as of now, as simple as taking a deep breath. [Name] wished she had been given that ability sooner. She could think of countless painful scenarios, all involving a bed, a man, and a tiled ceiling, in which flying away would have been useful. But she pushed that memory aside, observing Azriel’s wandering glance, and the experimental close of his hand, as if he was making sure that his fingers still worked, that his long-ago healed skin remained to be covered in scars rather than flames. It was a situation she understood well enough: when one was trapped into unpleasant memories and could not tear oneself from them without external help.
“Where are we going, then?” [Name] asked, her voice seeming to be enough to free the Spymaster from that trance. 
“Northwest, past the mountains and the Faerie realms.” 
The female’s next words caught in her throat as she stared at him in utter shock. Azriel outstretched his hand, the single wisp of a shadow nestling itself in the strap of her bag. She hadn’t need a phrasal command, understanding his intentions immediately. [Name] gave him her bag, and Azriel held it as he took flight, gliding over her. His frame and wings covered the sun, creating a patch of shadows that moved ever so slightly from where she stood. 
“Shift into something bigger than a swallow, or you won’t be able to keep up with my flight,” that brought her words back.
“Excuse me?” The idea of shifting into a bigger winged predator made her mouth dry with fear, the core of the dragon within her still a vivid memory that kept her rooted in place.
“When in the skies, wingspan is crucial for how fast the creature can move—”
“I know that,” she nearly hissed, irked at his tone, as if he had been trying to explain a difficult concept to a toddler.
“So? Shift. We don’t have the whole day.”
“Why can’t you just winnow us there? Too weak to do that while with me and a single bag?” Her taunts might as well have been flies surrounding his ego. Azriel was not at all moved, seeming merely out of patience as he awaited for her.
“You need to learn the path for yourself. A single shift in the wind and you’ll be overflying Rask without knowing. I’m not taking that risk.”
[Name] crossed her arms against her chest. He would not drag her, nor would he insist further. If truth was being told, Azriel had not touched her once in months — and those rare times in which their bodies met were fruits of accidents or desperate measures. More than anyone, he respected her space. The Shadowsinger would not grab her and drag her body to where she needed to be, which left them both in a competition fueled by obstination and pride.
“I’m going there once and never again, why would I need to learn anything?”
If he was hurt by her statement, the pain trespassed his features as swiftly as a blink. “You can’t possibly expect us to winnow you around wherever your heart desires. It is one thing to help your sisters, who can not winnow nor fly, but you are more than well-equipped to go through those miles alone. The length from Velaris to beyond the mountains is a long one, and winnowing there would be tiresome. Move your ass and shift.”
[Name] gritted her teeth, feeling as though a child that had been scolded. He remained the same, not bothering to move a single inch, his breathlessly handsome face taken with stoic challenge. If she had dared to do as though those architects that evolved into artists of their own craft, how would her columns be? Her once frustratingly short life had but turned into an infinite thread of centuries and possibilities. Time was no longer a reaper, but a welcoming host. At last, immortality offered her plaster and resin, tools for modeling and argil. Still, she dodged it, for she would not have built a column or two, she would have sculpted him, right in that glorious stance, wings wide open, with eyes that burned with arrogance, and hands that she longed to touch after what seemed to be a lifetime of avoidance and fear.
Her eyes met his. [Name] hated the male that brought such feelings to the surface, and she hated him even more for knowing that she was not capable of tormenting him with the same urge, the same treacherous bite of desire that hid amongst roses of feigned distaste. 
“Don’t expect a dragon,” she told him at last, trying to think of an animal whose wings matched the span of an Illyrian’s, resenting those who saw her as nothing but a beast.
“I never asked for one,” he answered matter-of-factly. In his face, she noted the slightest sign of comprehension, hiding somewhere in between the cracks of that mask of nonchalance. 
Harpies and eagles came to mind at once, but those were birds of both size and violence, animals she had never shifted into. [Name] learned the hardest way that each and every animal had an instinct, one that was deserving of proper attention and care. When she shifted into a creature, the first seconds were crucial, for the very core of the chosen animal would overcome her own mind and desires. Because she failed to control the dragon, [Name] had lost the grip of her actions and memories throughout the battle, acting on an instinct that was not hers. Showing such a vulnerability in front of Azriel was not a part of her plans — especially when he was cocky enough without that knowledge. So she played it safe. In a brief of a second, she was no longer a High Fae, but an ensemble of white and brown and black feathers, eyes as pitch as Azriel’s shadows. A gyrfalcon, slightly bigger than the ones found in the wild, and the same form she adopted during the last battle against Hybern. 
“You could’ve picked something bigger,” Azriel commented, observing the bird she chose, and [Name] chirped her discontentment, flying to his eyes with her claws in position.
He chuckled, his chest rising and falling as his lips parted way to a sound she had never once heard until then. [Name] cursed him mentally, for the shape of the falcon did not allow her ears to capture the sound entirely. Azriel dodged her claws and began his descent towards the city. [Name]’s smaller and more agile frame allowed her to harness the speed faster, and her wings opened wide as she drew closer to the ground. In a swift movement born from practice, she was flapping her way up, swirling in a mute laugh at gravity’s failed attempt to keep her anchored to the soil. 
Flying was something she would never give up nor grow tired of. When the breeze shifted into a stronger current of air, when there was nothing underneath her feet, when she was being caressed by the freedom brought by the wind, it was as though she had been reborn. For the duration of the flight, there was nothing but her form, the wisp of wind and the infinity of the sky. [Name] only mourned that she had never learned how to fly the same as her sister and the Illyrians — with an actual body rather than the shape of a smaller animal.
Azriel’s shadow appeared above her in an instant, and he naturally picked up a faster pace as they began to fly horizontally. None thought that haste was necessary, and their flight to the barriers of Velaris was one of utter calmness, in which the pair overflew the city while [Name] danced around the strings of his daring shadows. Once met with the invisible barriers, she grew tense, fearing the denial that had been thrown her way countless times before. However, Azriel flew swiftly through it, and once her turn came, [Name] was met with the same lack of opposition.
The air felt different then, and so did the Spymaster’s disposition. He quickened his pace, and [Name] forced her wings to grow larger, biting back a painful chirp as her bones stretched into place. In order to shift into an animal, she learned there were a few prerequisites. The female needed to grow familiar with the creature. It went beyond seeing them in a drawing: she had to master their behavior, understand their instincts, and study their entire anatomy. For months at hand, Morrigan winnowed her outside Velaris not only to train, but for her to see those animals in the wild, and although that came into use, there was also the case of bodily difference. It was a matter of compression and expansion. When one had to shift into a smaller bird, their previous body would, of course, suffer from brief consequences of adaptation. [Name] understood it as the process of folding and unfolding a sheet of paper: the possibilities were limitless, but the more you folded, the more lines would appear on the surface that was once straight and clear. Her shape-shifting ability relied on imagination and pain tolerance. [Name]’s bones could stretch or break under pressure to give way to a different structure; she could take over the impressive size of a dragon or the insignificant form of a ladybug; so long as she was able to endure the agonizing seconds that preceded the change.
But pain and I came to an understanding a few years ago, she thought to herself, no longer suffering from the lingering ache left in her bones, ignoring it as one would do to a mere casualty.
Her eyes were trained to the perimeter as she took in the sight of the mountains. The two of them overflew an extension of rock, trees, and eventual rivers, and when she was faced with unknown and plain territory, [Name] knew they had surpassed the frontier of the Faerie Realms. Her small heart dropped and a spontaneous chirp escaped her beak. It was a land of infinite possibilities, of wonders to be unraveled in a biome of sand and heat that she had read about but never met. If fate had been kinder, [Name] would have glided to Azriel’s arms and shifted into her fae body; she would have gaped at the vision before her and wept at the opportunity to be met with such a wide extension of land; she would not have flinched at the sound of his scoff against her earlobe, would not have frozen when his grip tightened around her body. But then again, if fate had been kinder, she would never have gotten so far as beyond the Faerie Realms. With that resolution, she merely flew faster, resting on his nape with enough care as to not maim his skin with her claws.
“Getting comfortable?” Azriel mocked, and in her silence, he continued. “Or was I right and your tired ass should have turned into a bigger bird?”
A single claw scratched his nape, threatening to pierce the smooth skin. He hissed, but she did not bother staring down at his reaction, her eyes glued to the scenario that unfolded underneath them. Azriel himself grew quiet, and did not attempt to stop the scarce and frail shadows when some pooled at her feet and made her company. It could have been hours or minutes — she would not know — but eventually, the desert gave way to sporadic specks of green, that, on their hand, grew into a huge forest, miles and miles of trees and rivers, of mountainscapes covered in moss and leaves, some standing so tall that they kissed the clouds and were coated in snow. 
Azriel began his descent, and once they were sheltered from the burning midday sun, she noted the sweat pooling on his neck. [Name] had barely felt the heat back then, but dressed in Illyrian leather, undoubtedly the Spymaster had been punished by the warmth. Not wishing to add further discomfort, [Name] flew away from his nape and re-started the diligent flapping pattern of her wings, losing herself amidst the trees and enjoying the breeze on her feathers. Eventually, she nearly lost the way through all of that freedom, and had to be guided back to Azriel by one of his shadows, who grew stronger and with a bigger range after the pair escaped the ruthless ministration from the scalding sun.
It was the start of the afternoon when she heard the waves. Azriel led them west, clearing their way through the forest and propelling himself up whenever the trees grew too troublesome to dodge. [Name] had half the notion that their overall altitude decreased mid-flight, and although the increase of the heat was an imminent indicator of their destination, her mind would never have wrapped itself around the existence of a beach. It seemed unreal to her — someone who had been rooted into a home in the middle of a small town, someone who had never been allowed to travel, someone who had thought it was impossible to see the world in that life — that a single place could hold both a forest and a beach, that tree and sand could share a neighborhood, but there it was. 
The soil began to lose its domain as the pair flew closer west. The more they descended, the more the earth shifted into solid rock. Although she could point out natural coexistence, the trees and its leaves built a thicket glued to the ground, as if they had forgotten the proper way to grow and started to be pulled by gravity and its invisible string. She could see them more as huge bushes than trees per say, for the stalks were so small and thin, and palm trees were now a common sight, their movement following the sway of the wind. There was a small quantity of moss covering the rocks closer to the sea, and mountains of mid-length were caught in between forest and shore, as though it was the one thing connecting the two.
The waves kept their steady onslaught against the tall and sharp rocks of the shore, and Azriel duck, his frame a dark contrast to that haven of sun and sand and sea. She followed in suit, noting that, from a huge cavern located on the top of a cliff at her right, plummeted a thin waterfall. Once Azriel landed on his knees — a dramatic pose he seemed to treasure — he stretched his neck and placed her bag on the sand. Staring up at her, who chose to keep gliding, the well-deserved resting made for the return of his teasing spirit.
“If you want to fly some more, I’m sure those seagulls back there would be up for a good fight.”
A revolted chirp died on her throat as the opportunity ensued. Azriel got himself distracted with the disappearance of his Illyrian armor, and [Name] duck, shifting back into her fae form mid-air. She fell on his back and the Spymaster — who was still on his knees — fell face flat on the sand. The female got up as soon as her body touched his, grabbing her bag and staring at the sea.
“Did you make me wait an entire week for us to sleep under a cliff and live off the coconuts from the palm trees?” [Name] taunted him, whistling innocently once his deadly glance fell over her form. She had no doubt that he would find a way to retribute that prank of hers with twice as much force.
“Look behind you, smartass,” he scoffed. The second she did as so, hot sand was thrown on her nape, particles of it entering her jacket. [Name] didn’t need to spare a single glance to understand what had happened, and the sound of his own whistle — meant to mock her previous one — made her blood boil. However, before she could engage in a childish sand-battle that was beyond her normal behavior, her mouth fell agape at the sight above her.
There was a large cavity in the middle of the towering cliff. She squeezed her eyes to catch on it, for the entrance was covered by yet another pair of waterfalls, the two with a current stronger than the one she had seen earlier, acting as though a curtain of slight fog and liquid. The water fell on a small pool — surely one that had been made due to erosion — and followed a short route through rock and sand that disembogued on the sea. For a second, the female believed that her enhanced ears granted by the fae body had begun to fail her. She could hear the sound of the waves against the shore, the seagulls fighting for a poor, freshly caught fish, and the wind rustling the palm trees’ leaves, but she could not hear the sound of the waterfall, which was alarming considering the intensity of the flow. 
Damn were those explosions! Soon enough, her sight would fall victim to the same tragedy, due to action of the toxins she so diligently worked with, the thought made her shiver. Perhaps it was a sign to start using those stupid leather-strapped googles.
As if caughting on her confusion, Azriel chuckled somewhere behind her. “The sound is muted by magic.”
Ah, [Name] realized. Magic, of course. The very thing that made the faes’ lives easier, that granted them the means to create things that no mortal could dare to aspire, not even during their most drunk state. [Name] was unused to that kind of commodity, and would sometimes fail to phantom the extensive lengths in which one could go with the aid of magic. Magic that she wielded, and that she refused to use out of the fear of forgetting the pleasure of building and drawing with her own hands, of cooking and preparing her own bath, rather than handling it to an external and incomprehensible force. 
Azriel was suddenly by her side, eyeing her curiously before continuing. “I’ve created that cavern. It’s not born from a natural process, nor was it there already. I wanted a quiet place of my own, far from any boundary, so I grabbed a good enough pickaxe and built myself an entrance.”
“You’re fucking with me,” she scoffed, her glance holding his own. “You opened a hole through solid rock with your strength alone?”
Azriel himself was shocked. “You forget how strong we are, don’t you? How strong you are. [Name], considering the entire set of our abilities and scarce limitations of our bodies, opening a cleft is the least we are able to do.”
Her breath nearly caught on her throat at the sound of her name on his tongue. Rare were the moments in which both addressed one another by their given names, and she had only noticed it now, that not sooner he had said her name, she wanted to hear it again. And again. And again. During the most diverse of circumstances, some dirtier than she predicted; the sudden desire, a wave that the female had never thought she was capable of nurturing for someone else after all of those harsh years. She swallowed a lump of nervousness, stared at the entrance above them, and Azriel continued.
“It took me a while to create it, though. It was not the home I cared for, it was the process of reaching it. I wanted something to do with my hands after the war,” his voice shuddered ever so slightly at the mention of his scarred skin. It was a sound so vulnerable and, yet so swift, that one could even argue that they had imagined it. But [Name], who paid attention to his every movement without, had caught on it. 
Allowing him to ignore that change in tone — to never address it — was the thing she loved the most about their dynamic. Azriel did not want her pity, nor did she want his, however, if one was to slip — opening an unwanted crack on the solid walls of their fortresses — rather than acting as though a listening ear to a pain neither wished to address, the other would simply wait until that fissure was mended. They would not offer each other soothing sentences or draw the illusion, born from a childish desire, of a future without battle and suffering. The two had experienced the worst that could come from the cruelest beings; had been both maimed by constant cruelty; had been scarred enough to refuse that blind idealism that drove pure hearts to the possible existence of long-lasting peace. They were born not to protect, but to survive. And silently acknowledging that single slip, granting the other a second of vulnerability, was their way to keep each other strong, to keep marching forward — without pity, without unnecessary emotion.
Like Calls to like. It seemed to be a keen enough saying when it came to the two of them.
“Sometimes, I would come here and punch the rocks until they gave in. Sometimes, I would use the power of my Siphons. Rarely, I actually used the pickaxe,” [Name] snickered at that. “I’ve built this entrance through rage and boredom and ease. It is a creation from every single feeling I’ve had during the years. When I noticed that I had opened enough space, and that it was about time I started decorating for once, I was kind of disappointed.”
She hummed, sweat pooling on her nape from where the fabric of her jacket clung to. “I’m sure those rocks back there would be up for a good fight,” the female commented, using his previous words against him.
“Better to fight a rock than a seagull, at least cliffs are tough opponents.”
“Seagulls actually move and fight back,” she countered.
“So you admit that you would struggle in a fight against seagulls?”
His tone was amused, causing her to grit her teeth. “I’ll give them your severed arm for lunch.”
“With this heat and your heavy choice of clothing, you’ll faint before managing to land a single punch,” Azriel noted, and [Name] shifted in full-force to stare at him, about to comment on his choice for Illyrian leather, just for her words to flee from both mind and tongue at the sight of him with merely a black tank-top and matching trousers.
“When did you—”
“Magic,” this time, his winning grin and mocking tone did nothing to vex her. [Name] was quite too busy tearing her eyes from his frame. She heard a dry laugh, followed by the sound of his wings propelling him up in the air.
Feyre had once said that [Name]’s transformations were one of the most beautiful sights she laid eyes on. According to her youngest sister, her previous form would vanish, giving way to the brief appearance of grouped particles that gleamed in silver, as if her magic was the manifestation of stardust. From the core of ethereal light, she arose in the newest form that suited her desires best. As [Name] took the body of the gyrfalcon, she couldn’t help but wonder whether or not the breeze born from the flapping of her wings scattered the said gleaming essence of her magic. It was hard to imagine that she could be the source of such a beautiful thing, but it was not unpleasant.
To reach the inside of the cave, she had to go through the liquid curtain of the waterfall. When [Name] shifted back, her body and clothes were drenched in seawater. Azriel waited ahead, leaning on the arched frameway of the wooden-door. He had gone through the trouble of building an entire entrance, with an external leisure area located left from the door, surrounded by fences made of polished wood. As soon as she began to walk towards him, hissing at the feeling of her wet socks, talons of shadows came to circle her wrists, guiding her to the entryway. She did not need their assistance, but accepted it still. The cave’s ceiling was enchanted, and although she could see the stalactites, they seemed awfully out of place, for rather than pitch-black darkness above, [Name] saw a mimic of the ethereal afternoon-sky of Velaris, with the bright blue shade accompanied by the faint hues of pink and lilac, a sign that dusk was near. His shadows swirled more comfortably now, as if the shore and burning sun from the outside drained them of life.
“We never managed to get the sky right,” Azriel commented as she reached the entrance, stepping foot on the single step that led to the leisure area. A shadow seemed to point the way left, and [Name] noted a set of armchairs, two common chairs, both suitable for Illyrian wings, and finally, at the corner in between the two latter, a chess set displayed on a table.
“We?” [Name] whispered half-attentively, her eyes glued to those damned pieces and that damned board, her fingers stretching due to the sudden urge to play.
“Rhys and I,” he explained, and she could sense a tinge of amusement in his voice. “The house itself wasn’t meant to be heavily enchanted or guarded. It was glamoured to avoid unwelcome visitors, but I hadn’t felt the need for further protection until I came up with the idea of bringing you here.”
[Name]’s eyes met his attentive ones, and the depth of his sea of longing was hued in hazel and golden-light. 
“Hence why you made me wait for a week?” She inquired, and the sound of her voice was almost a treacherous profanity after it slashed through their previous silence, loud with words unsaid.
He swallowed hard, gripping the doorknob. “I like to keep you on edge, impatience suits you well. The threats are my personal favorite.”
Perhaps, she went mad with the heat; perhaps, the water clinging to her ribs had made her reckless; perhaps, her mind remained filled with much too many thoughts about chess and constructions and sculptures to process another thought if not one of those subjects; because the trap was an obvious obstacle placed on the side of her foot, and [Name] chose to willingly step on it, if only to amuse the Spymaster further.
“I will punch your teeth.”
“Feeble excuse to touch my lips.”
[Name]’s mouth shot open and she felt the blush that crept up her neck. His winning-grin had given her the actual desire to punch his teeth, but then again, that would make him smile more. Azriel gave her bag a light kick and pointed with his head towards the chess board.
“Change into something fresher and we’ll play a match or two.”
“Weren’t we here to train?” [Name] questioned, ignoring his first sentence. She hadn’t brought fresher clothes; all of her wardrobe was of long-sleeved shirts and dresses, for she meant to cover the inside of her left forearm.
“We are, but it’s almost dusk and we’ve flown most of the day,” he pointed out, crossing his arms against his chest. [Name] tried not to notice the muscles of his biceps, nearly shivering at the sight.
“I don’t have fresher clothes,” she blurted out, fearing that he could catch the trail of her thoughts otherwise.
He raised an eyebrow. “Cut the sleeves of some shirts, then.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t need to.”
“We will be training under the scalding midday sun, you need to,” he stated matter-of-factly, annoyingly unbothered. 
“I can handle—”
“Why, [Name]?” The Spymaster asked again, the sound of her name nearly causing her knees to buckle. Once met with her silence, however, he continued. “Wanna strike another deal?”
The challenge left her on edge, a shiver running down her spine where the tattoo of their pact had appeared a week prior. “We’re striking deals whenever we find an impasse?”
“If that’s what I need to crack open that mouth of yours,” a sea of curses poured from her thoughts but Azriel did not give her the chance to voice them. “Only this time, I was thinking of chess rather than magic.”
“Chess?” She asked him, tentatively. The bastard sure knew how to spike her interests.
“We play a match. Winner asks a question, loser is obliged to answer honestly.”
This got her to crack a laugh, one that echoed with arrogance. “You won’t get many answers from me.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” the ambient had shifted into something more electrifying, a sudden string of shared anticipation. “But I like that deal, you’ll be forced to speak up more.”
“I speak,” he countered, almost offended. 
“Sure. I’ve known you for a year and the only things I’m sure of are your name and the friends you have.”
“Well, I know your name and the fact that you have three sisters.”
“You know more than that,” she rebuked immediately.
“Like?”
She fell silent. He grinned. His hand turned on the doorknob, and the passage to his home-cave was granted.
“Alright, Azriel,” she said, and his entire body seemed to shudder. “You’ve got yourself another deal.”
Their second chess match began.
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trivia: the war between montesere and vallahan is entirely made-up and not a part of canon, alongside the story of the dragons. i came up with a few things of my own for the sake of the reader’s development! ;)
general notes: i am deeply sorry for how long it took me to post the second chapter. if i am being honest, i struggled a lot with their dynamics, since what i once wanted for them seemed to be very out-of-character with the az we know. i decided to work with his silent-little-shit-self and his very brief (SJM i am inside your walls) interaction with gwyn. i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i would love to hear your opinions and criticism on it. i promise i will try my best to write smaller chapters and to post them a little faster! lots of love <3
taglist [comment to be added]: @nyotamalfoy @arilindemann @bsenpai @rachelnicolee @piceous21 @forsiriussake @sassybluebird @esposadomd
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In order to hold myself accountable, I'm posting my current WIP list.
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Masterlists:
Murder Daddy Kinktober 2023:
Dark Fic MasterList:
Long Fic Masterlist:
Short Fic MasterList:
Projects I’m working on currently:
OneShots
Vampire!Frankie x Reader – Imminent.
Astarion x Reader – Coming Soon.
Long Fics
Blood Money Chapter One – Vampire Mafia AU – Dave York x Reader x Max Phillips – New! Imminent. [Art First draft]
Framing Escobar Chapter Five – Javier Peña x Reader – Coming Soon
A Feeling that Never Came Part Two - Javier Peña x Reader - Coming Soon
Where were you on Outbreak Day? – Joel Miller x Reader Jackson Era, divergence in canon (pt 2 doesn’t happen) – Coming Soon
SNAFU Chapter Six – Shifter AU/Cross over Seal Team. Jaguar Shifter!Frankie x Reader – Coming Soon.
Rendezvous in Reno Part Two – Erotica Writer!Reader x Dieter Bravo – Coming Soon
Breaking the Rules Finale – DBF! Joel Miller x Reader – Coming Soon
Worlds Collide – Din Djarin x Mercenary! Reader – Coming Soon
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mr-laveau · 8 months
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Oh we're bringing in sonas to Tumblr? Siiick so here's mine, I've been using to play in the space with my friends! Y'all can meet Elio, the Rowdy Jaguar Shifter
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bearman0800 · 2 months
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As promised.... Topic two
The Creation of Shapeshifters...
The creation of shapeshifters started at the beginning of time after the fall of man (Adam and Eve). One of the first few pure shifters,(strictly fallen angels/regular angels and part animal) was the serpent that deceived Eve. We call them wereserpents. They have the ability to heal faster than 98% of supernaturals, produce venom from their fangs and claws, and are extremely durable. After they succeeded in creating monsters of their own, they moved on to more primal animals such as wolves, bears, lions, tigers, gorillas, hyenas, jaguars, etc. Because they came from fallen angels or regular angels, they were often as smart as human beings or even smarter. Most went on to be in the wilderness, terrorize humans, or live in solitude. Others helped humanity, taught them how to survive, and ultimately lived in harmony. Some even believed in free will and hoped to make to heaven as well. When the pure shifters wanted to create more of their kind, they mated with human beings, making them stronger than the first generation. Their body was more humanoid, they were physically better in every way, etc. Note too that neither the first werebeasts or 2nd generation could shift. They were pure monsters that had no other form. Now, whenever they bit humans, the process was more complicated than most realized. You just don't become whatever bites you. Your soul opens up and whatever spirit finds its way in, that's what you become. Half the time, you become what but you... Otherwise you become something better or worse than what you anticipated. Whether it be a chimera, demon, werewolf, werelion, manticore, etc. In order for you to remain supernatural, you and the spirit MUST become one like a symbiotic relationship and you must meditate to keep it under control. If not, you'll either feel really sick and may die (or nothing happens at all), or the spirit moves on to a different compatible body. Be aware too that the human body can house multiple spirits at once. Once the spirit makes itself known to you and the two of you are now one, you'll start to experience some of its power you can tap into and this is when you KNOW you're supernatural. You'll be stronger than most humans (depending on their body weight and strength/vice versa) and be able to lift heavier things most people can't, you'll definitely be faster, your healing process will be significantly faster from wounds, cuts, and broken bones, your senses will be as great as an animal or better, and your emotions will be everywhere. Here's the important part of all of this.... YOU WILL NOT BE A HULKING BEAST LIKE THE VAN HELSING OR UNDERWORLD WEREWOLF..... The human body can only do so much to replicate what's inside. For instance, if you have something with wings, you won't be able to sprout wings or fly. Every supernatural body that's fully shifted into said creature will have the following: different eye color, taller in height, fangs, some will have claws, muscle, muscle mass, and a deeper voice. The process of shifting is painful in itself, first your back or chest will start to tense up and break to give you a bigger build, your canines will grow longer resulting in fangs and bleeding gums which will later become sore, then your vocal cords will rip and reform so that when you howl or roar, you'll be unrecognizable. Think of it like a hulk roar or a wolf pack (TV show) roar. Depending on what color your natural eyes are, they'll become darker or brighter than what they are now. Ex: brown may become gold, amber, or dark red. Dark blue will be sky blue or gold, etc. Finally, one way you can tell if someone is supernatural is if their eyes glow. Not like teen wolf where blue eyes can be seen miles away, but if their eyes are reflective like an animal in headlights. It's called Tapetum Lucidum. Also full moons aren't a thing....thankfully. One last bit of advice for specially witches. PLEASE do not try to create your own personal creature. The last time that happened, the Nemean Lion was loose and it took a half Deity/ human to put it down permanently.
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Warning: supernatural energy attracts supernatural whether it's good or bad. Most likely bad. Meaning something Will most definitely come after you just for being what you are. Keep your eyes open and watch out for signs. They're always looking to strike at your weakest point.....
Above is a picture of one of the many people who are supernatural in this world. (Have to protect his identity of course).
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Flowers and Flourishing is out now!
Flowers and Flourishing has officially been sent to all of my newsletter subscribers! F&F is a 37,000 word newsletter exclusive novella, which follows Louisa and Agatha from The Reanimator’s Heart as they fall in love in 1870s NYC.
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If you’re a newsletter subscriber, check your inbox/junkmail. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can do so here, and you will get Flowers and Flourishing along with “The Errant Earl” sent to you for joining.
You can also add F&F on Goodreads.
[image description: Flowers and Flourishing: A Paranormal Society Romance and Reanimator Mysteries Companion Story by Kara Jorgensen. Dates in 1870s NYC, trans woman MC, paintings, poetry, and pining, a jaguar shifter, lesbian and bi MCs, a lavender marriage, neurodivergent MC, sapphic romance. Free novella when you join my monthly newsletter]
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queermentaldisaster · 2 months
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Shifter!Au.
(this is stemming from my own need to learn more about animals plus an obsession with shifter AUs)
Okay, so Price, he's a little difficult. I wanted to give him a strong animal, one who typically leads the pack...but then I did a little research and decided he's an ✨️Emperor Penguin Shifter✨️, hence why he NEVER shifts in the field. The base has a freezer area to accommodate for arctic animal shifters, and Price literally built a slide to slide around in there. When he finds the others shifted when they didn't want to be, he'll shift and kinda corral them into a safe and comfortable space? If that makes sense.
Gaz. Wild Water Buffalo shifter. Just like the actual Wild Water Buffalo, these types are RARE. They're also endangered. They have a 'pack' mentality, although these are called clans among both shifters and the actual Buffalos themselves. Him and his family are all Wild Water Buffalo shifters as well. They're all scattered across the world, so it's rare to see them. He's got the largest bloodline of Wild Water Buffalo shifters. He often wrestles with Price when he's shifted and Price isn't. Also he gives Price bull-back rides. He tends to shift when mass destruction is needed in battle, because Wild Water Buffalos are like fuckin tanks. They're fast, tough, and can deal mass amounts of damage.
Soap. He's a Red Fox shifter! They're playful, quick, stealthy, territorial, but also really friendly! A perfect match for our silly Scot! He's also the one who shifts the most, because he's the most comfortable in his animal form. He's got two packs. His family and the Force. He doesn't shift in the field unless he's needed to complete stealth missions or get out of a situation really fast. When shifted on base, he'll often tear up the spare punching bags, leading Price to have ordered more than the usual amount, just in case. He also likes using the other three as a jungle gym.
Ghost. He's a Black Panther shifter, originating from the Jaguar shifter line. His mother was a shifter, his father was not. Tommy was also a shifter, as children of shifters tend to take after their mother. The whole shifter thing contributed to both his abuse from his dad and the torture from Roba. He really doesn't shift unless absolutely necessary, so most people think he's not even a shifter. When he does shift in battle, it's often for the increased agility and claws. Ghost suppresses his shifting which is damaging and dangerous. This leads to increased irritability. Soap is the one who eventually gets Ghost to start shifting more.
Tags: @bringinsexybackk69 (if you wanna be added to the Shifter!Taglist, lemme know!)
I'm still figuring out what everyone else is, but I figured I'd bring out the main four first!
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amatchinwater · 1 year
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Pairing: Sterek to Steo
Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Theo Raeken, Derek Hale, Noah Stilinski, Josh Diaz, Tracy Stewart, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Liam Dunbar, Hayden Romero
Warnings: evil/dark Derek, lying, gaslighting, possessive behavior, attempted non-con, canon-typical violence, blood, mate bites, explicit sexual content, A/B/O
Words: 13,671
Prompt: Request through ao3 comment for evil!Derek 💚
Ao3 link Masterlist
Mistakes Were Made
---
Living in a world where the supernatural is out in the open, still not having presented and being only human, Stiles didn’t give much thought on whether or not he had a mate. He honestly wasn’t even sure if humans had them at all or if that was just a shifter thing. Regardless of presentation. He’s seen wolves and other shifter types mate with humans before. He just wasn’t sure if it was more of an active choice or not. Kind of seems like it is, but who is he to tell? But either way, Stiles was really on the fence about the whole thing. 
Then he met Theo Raeken.
Alpha coyote his age with a proper pack. Well, “proper” is a weird way of putting it. Every Alpha needs at least three Betas regardless of gender for it to be considered a legitimate pack. Theo has six. But only half of them are proper and not all of them have presented. Corey, true Beta, has chameleon-like qualities and can turn invisible. Tracy, another true Beta, is a genuine kanima, not an abomination. Josh is an unpresented raiju, a werewolf with electric capabilities. And Hayden, also a Beta, is a were-jaguar; incredibly rare. The only proper- which, rude- ones are Theo, Mason, and Liam. Full Alpha coyote, Beta human, and unpresented werewolf respectively. 
As far as mates are concerned, no matter what a supernatural creature feels, there are rules. Courting can be started at any age should both parties agree because it’s basically just glorified dating. Provided they even want to court. Really only romantics and traditionalists court anymore. But a legitimate mating ceremony or bite can only be performed once both people turn eighteen. It’s not only a way to help people from making rash decisions that lead to the wrong one. Because a mating bond is very hard and very painful to break. But it also ensures that any late bloomers- like Stiles- have been given more than enough time to present. 
Not that Stiles is worried about that. Theo’s pack loves him. They all see the human as one of their own even though he’s not an official member yet. As far as the Alpha himself, Stiles can’t tell where he stands. Romantically at least. They’re great friends, sure. But great friends don’t always want to boink one another every chance they get.
Yes, don’t worry, Stiles mentally punched himself for using the word boink. 
Who does that?
He’s just full of nervous energy because his eighteenth birthday is two days away with no sign of what he’ll present as and no fucking clue how Theo feels about him. They’re friends, yes. The coyote will snuggle with him if Stiles joins them on pack nights. He actually listens to the human when he talks. Even when Stiles starts to ramble, he has the Alpha’s full attention. And the food sharing! Theo shares his food with no one. No one. Except for Stiles. Both in offering and letting the human steal off his plate.
What worries Stiles is an act like that, in the traditional sense, is considered to be a part of courting. The coyote comes from a very traditional family as well. So it’s not like Theo doesn’t know about it. But the Alpha is so far from traditional himself it’s not even funny. So Stiles can’t tell if he’s just showing he can be a good Alpha in the pack sense or if there’s more to it. 
Maybe the guy just doesn’t mind sharing his food.
Because there’s never been anything else. No lingering touches after they hug. Theo’s never- even sneakily- tried to hold his hand. Forget kissing, that hasn’t even come close to happening. Not even a few months ago when Hayden hung up some mistletoe at Christmas. Theo got close to him whenever Stiles was under it, but never actually got under it with him. 
So it’s either one of two things. Theo is so fucking respectful of the turning eighteen rule that he’s doing nothing until then. Or- and Stiles really hates this one- the coyote just doesn’t like him like that. 
But with his birthday so close, Stiles intends on doing something he’s never done before. He’s going to tell Theo how he feels. Lay all of his cards on the table and ask the Alpha if he’d want to be mated to him.
He’ll either get Theo or he’ll get rejected.
At least he’ll have an answer.
Oh god.
Theo might reject him.
In reality, Stiles knew that was a possibility. He’s not stupid or delusional by any means. It’s just actively thinking about it now it’s finally sinking in that the Alpha might actually say no. Would Theo deny him joining the pack too?
Shit. Stiles didn’t think this through as well as he thought. His leg is bouncing incessantly where he sits outside the coffee shop and it has nothing to do with the amount of caffeine he’s consumed. Stiles has been staring at Theo’s contact for at least fifteen minutes now.
It’s probably been longer.
Fuck.
“Screw it,” he mumbles to himself and slams his finger on the call button. No chance to back out now or hang up because it’s already ringing. And if Theo sees a missed call from him, he will call back. “Go to voicemail,” Stiles says hopefully.
“Hey, Stiles,” Theo answers, “what’s up?”
“Oh, um, I-” seriously? The one time his brain can’t come up with a quick lie. “Are you home?” The human asks, gritting his teeth to avoid biting his lip.
“Yeah, just me though,” the coyote says. “The pack is out running some errands while I clean. They won’t be home for at least another hour if you were wanting to see them.”
That’s actually perfect. With the pack gone, Stiles can humiliate himself in peace. “No, I just wanted to talk to you in person.”
“Uh oh,” Theo jokes, “sounds important. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Stiles says way too quickly and far too high pitched to be truthful. But it’s out there now, might as well push through. “Mind if I come over for a minute?” 
The Alpha laughs, “how many times do I have to tell you? You are always welcome here, Stiles. Anytime. Just show up, you don’t even need to call and ask first.”
“I know,” the human sheepishly ducks his head as though the coyote can see him. “It’s still polite to ask. What if you had-” Stiles clears his throat, “-what if you had someone over?” Shamelessly throwing feelers out about the coyote being interested in someone else. Hopefully subtly too.
“I wouldn’t have someone over,” Theo retorts, the very suggestion sounding stupid to him from his tone. “And even if I did, I’d make them leave. Pack comes first,” the Alpha says. Throwing in, “you’re close enough,” before Stiles can argue.
That’s a good sign, right? On all accounts. Stiles will take it that way at least. He’ll do his best to ignore the doubt plaguing his mind. “Okay,” Stiles chuckles nervously, “I’m about to leave the coffee shop, so I’ll see you in like twenty minutes.”
“Sounds good,” the coyote agrees, “be careful.”
“I will,” Stiles says before hanging up. He takes a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. It’s really about to happen. Holy shit. Stiles is actually about to fess up to having feelings for someone. He hasn’t done that since- no, that was an entirely different situation. 
This is Theo.
His best friend.
Stiles has nothing to worry about. It will be a piece of cake. He keeps telling himself that as he gets up from the table to leave. Just a quick walk through town to sort out his thoughts and everything will be fine.
Everything will be fine.
How many times can Stiles tell himself that before it’s the truth? Or believable? Crossing the main road, he’s certain that it’s not fifteen. Or twenty. But Stiles will keep repeating it. It’s the only thing keeping his legs carrying him towards the coyote’s.
This isn’t a bad idea, right? Even if Theo rejects him, it’s a good thing that Stiles gets this off his chest. “Yes, Stiles, that’s exactly right,” he tells himself, crossing another street.
Great, now he’s talking to himself.
Maybe he shouldn’t do this. If Theo wanted him, the Alpha would have said something in their three years of friendship. Whether it was for courting purposes or not. The coyote would’ve vocalized it. A hint. Something.
“Stiles?” A voice calls his name. 
Stiles stops in his tracks, the voice sounding somewhat familiar. He was just too stuck in his mental spiral for full recognition. He turns around, trying to find the owner. There’s a guy across the street with black hair, tight jeans, and a leather jacket walking his way. Stiles cocks his head to the side, it almost looks like… “Derek?”
“Long time, no see, Pup,” the guy says once he’s caught up to him. 
He blinks hard, looking over the guy’s features. Take away the slight beard and chiseled jaw and it certainly looks like Derek. But then Stiles looks at his eyes. Those beautiful, impossibly green eyes that are unmistakably the wolf’s.
“Holy shit,” Stiles exclaims with a huge grin, throwing his arms around the wolf. Derek accepts the embrace with a light, amused growl. “When did you get back?” He asks when they pull apart. The words tumble out before Stiles can filter them, “you look really good.”
“So do you, Pup,” Derek taps the underside of his chin with a breathtaking smile. A blush burns the human’s cheeks all the way to his ears. “I got back yesterday,” the wolf explains, “they finally finished the rebuild. Spent yesterday settling in so I figured I’d walk around town today. See what changed while I was gone.” 
“How, uh-” Stiles winces, unsure how to ask such a sensitive question. “How was your time away?” He asks, putting his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. 
The thing Stiles mentioned before about the last time he fessed up to having feelings? That was Derek. He confessed wanting to be with the wolf when he was fifteen years old and Derek had just turned eighteen. But then a hunter by the name of Kate Argent got a little too obsessed with the wolf. To the point of burning his childhood home with his entire family inside because Derek turned her down. The wolf had to deal with not only presenting as an Alpha, but taking up the mantle as pack Alpha with his mother’s death at the same time. It’s entirely understandable that Derek left without giving Stiles an answer. 
“Good. Really good,” Derek says, flashing red eyes at him. “I learned how to be an Alpha and handle what that means. But I think I got the hang of it now,” the wolf tells him. “Are you busy right now? I’m actually really glad I ran into you. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I was supposed to head over to Theo’s,” Stiles says. “But I can always go later. I’d actually really love to see how the rebuild went,” the human smiles. He loved going to the Hale house when he was a kid. It’d be nice to see it returned to its former glory.
The Alpha tucks his head with a grin, “my car is a few blocks over. I can show you the house and drop you off at Theo’s later.” 
“I’d like that,” Stiles agrees, falling in stride with the wolf towards his car. “So, do you have a pack yet?” 
“Not yet,” Derek answers, walking close enough that their arms keep brushing together. “I was hoping to find a few Betas now that I’m back.” The Alpha stops in front of a black Camaro, “here I am.”
Stiles’ jaw drops, “no way.”
“Way,” Derek winks, opening the passenger door for the human.
“Such a gentleman,” he giggles, getting in the car.
The Alpha leans in, giving him a predatory look that shoots heat right down Stiles’ spine. “Far from it, Pup,” Derek drops his voice several octaves, “but I might be if you ask really nicely.”
“Oh,” Stiles utters, heat flaring his cheeks. He doesn’t remember the wolf being this flirty. He doesn’t hate it. “S-so, what did you want to talk about?” He asks once Derek’s in the driver’s seat and heading down the road. 
“Mind if we wait until we get to the house?” The wolf smiles at him, patting Stiles’ knee, “I want to hear how you’ve been. It feels like forever since I saw you last,” Derek says, turning into the preserve. 
He stares at the warm hand still so casually set on his knee. It’s nice and incredibly distracting. “Well, I’ve been hanging out with Theo and his pack lately. There’s even a place for me in his pack if I want it.” Stiles doesn’t miss the way the Alpha’s hand moves to grip the steering wheel. Shit, Derek literally just mentioned he was looking for a pack. Was he going to ask Stiles to join his?
Fuck.
It’s not like Theo was a rebound because Derek had left. And it’s not like Derek would be a second choice either should the wolf want him to join. Stiles and Derek used to talk about it all the time before he left.
“Sorry,” Stiles mutters, upset at how cold his leg feels without the Alpha’s hand.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” the wolf assures him. “You probably weren’t even sure if I was coming back to Beacon Hills. It’s been three years,” Derek sighs. “I can’t be upset with you for making friends and finding people who accept you as pack,” the Alpha pulls to a stop. “There is some part of me that hopes I can change your mind though,” Derek winks and gets out of the car without another word.
“What? Derek, wait,” Stiles fumbles out of the car. “Oh wow,” he gasps, looking at the rebuilt Hale house. “Derek, it’s beautiful.” It’s been three years since he not only saw the wolf, but his house actually standing.
The Alpha beams, “I found the original floor plans and gave it to the builders. Like the fire never happened,” Derek whispers, looking at the house.
“It’s amazing,” Stiles says, gravitating towards the wolf and putting his arm around Derek. The Alpha throws his arm over his shoulder. It’s nice being close to him again. “They did a great job.”
Derek smiles down at him, “I’m glad you like it.”
His gaze falls to the porch and Stiles gasps again, “you got a new swing too?” He breaks out of the Alpha’s hold to run up the few steps, hopping on the porch swing. They used to spend hours out here just talking and enjoying each other’s company. Stiles didn’t realize how much he missed it until he saw it again.
Kind of like Derek.
“Not new,” the wolf points to the left armrest where their initials are still sloppily carved from the wolf’s ten year old hand. “I hired someone to fix it. It wasn’t as badly burned and only needed minor replacements,” Derek says, joining him on the seat. 
Stiles starts to gently swing them, “so what did you want to talk about?”
His question hangs heavy in the air before Derek finally says, “don’t worry about it.”
“What? No,” he argues lightly, “tell me.”
“Stiles, you have a pack already. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Der, tell me. Please.”
The wolf sighs through his nose, turning his head to look at him, “I missed you. A lot.”
“I missed you too.”
Derek rubs his hands together, dropping his head to shake it. “No, Stiles,” green eyes meet him, “I missed you. My wolf missed you. I thought I was going crazy without you.” 
His wolf?
That’s not something werewolves say lightly.
Stiles’ brows furrow, “Derek, what are you saying?” His heart is thundering in his chest. There’s no way the wolf can’t hear it.
The Alpha takes a deep breath, turning to grab Stiles’ hands in his. “I’m saying,” Derek chuckles softly, “if you’d let me, I want to court you. Stiles, I have loved you since we were kids. I want you to be my mate.”
“You’re serious?” Stiles asks, voice catching in his throat.
“Very,” Derek says. “Let me court you. I’ll prove it to you if that’s what it takes.”
A goofy smile splits his face, “okay,” Stiles says.
The wolf’s grip tightens slightly, “yeah?”
He was planning on going to Theo to confess his feelings. To pour his heart out to an Alpha that might not even want him like that. And here Derek is, back in town for less than twenty-four hours, making his feelings crystal clear. Stiles had the biggest crush on the wolf when they were younger. And clearly given the way he’s reacted to the Alpha, he’s not exactly over it. Not to mention, courting isn’t permanent. If Stiles changes his mind, he has every right to do so. So what’s the harm in giving Derek a shot?
“Yeah,” he says, stroking the back of the wolf’s hand. “I’d love for you to court me.”
Derek’s eyes flicker red and he rushes the small distance to place a kiss on the human’s cheek. “Thank you, Pup,” the wolf grins. “It’s getting late, I should probably get you home. Don’t want to start the courting process with your dad wanting my head.”
“Yeah,” Stiles snickers, “you’re probably right. Give me a tour tomorrow?” He asks as they walk back to the Camaro.
“Only if you let me make you dinner too,” Derek opens the door for him, “our first official courting dinner.”
“Deal,” Stiles grins, getting in his seat.
Derek gets back in the driver’s seat, “oh, wait. Didn’t I need to drop you off at- uh?”
“Theo,” Stiles gasps. He’d completely forgotten. “No, I’ll just call him when I get home.”
“Okay,” the wolf laces their fingers together before driving off.
“Was that Derek Hale I saw kissing you goodbye?” His father asks not three seconds after Stiles closes the door. “I didn’t even know he was back in town.” As Beacon Hills’ Alpha, that is kind of strange, he’ll give him that. But this was only Derek’s first day actually in town. 
“Okay one, he kissed my cheek,” Stiles says, sitting down at the dining room table with his father. “And he just got back yesterday. Had the Hale house rebuilt, so he didn’t venture into town until today.”
“That’s nice,” he hums offhandedly, sliding a bowl of chili towards Stiles. “So why was he kissing you?” That’s his dad, blunt and to the point.
“Because he asked to court me,” Stiles mumbles, shoving a spoonful in his mouth to avoid repeating it. He wanted to have a game plan before telling him.
“Huh,” his dad narrows his eyes. “Well, I guess if you’re okay with it.” His spoon pauses halfway to his mouth, “hang on. Aren’t you in Theo’s pack? I thought you were going to tell him how you felt today?”
Right. Stiles forgot he told him about that. “I was,” he nods, abandoning his chili for now. “But then I ran into Derek on my way there and we started catching up. He told me how much he and his wolf missed me while they were gone. Besides, courting isn’t a ball and chain, I can change my mind if I want to. You know I liked Derek when we were kids.”
“What about Theo?”
Stiles pokes his chili with his spoon, sighing as he leans back, “Dad, I don’t even know if Theo likes me like that. He’s never said as much or tried anything, I was basically going in blind. Derek blatantly told me he wants me.”
Scratching the side of his jaw, Noah nods, “I get it, I do. Look,” his father sighs, folding his hands on the table, “I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. But just be careful, okay? Alphas that have been on their own for that long can be a little…intense. Derek might not even know he’s doing it either. Just- just be careful. That’s all I’m asking, son.”
“I will,” Stiles agrees, knowing how protective his father can be. “Derek’s not like that,” he says.
The doorbell rings before his dad can respond. Stiles gets up to see who it is. When he opens the door, he sees a flash of red before arms wrap around him.
“You’re here,” Theo breathes out, squeezing him tightly, “I was worried.” The coyote pulls back to look him over, “you didn’t show up or answer my calls or texts. Are you okay?”
“Sorry! I’m sorry. Yes, I’m okay.” Stiles feels awful that he made the Alpha worry. “I meant to text you. I ran into an old friend on my way over and lost track of time. Had to make it back home for dinner. I’m really sorry, Theo.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” the coyote pushes his bangs out of his eyes, “I’m just glad you’re alright.” The amount of care Theo has for him makes the human’s heart bleed. “What did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
Fuck, he’s not ready to tell the coyote that. Whether the Alpha only harbors platonic feelings for Stiles or not. But Theo will know if he lies about it. And will most definitely call him on his shit. “It was about courting,” the human says carefully.
“Oh?” Theo asks, taking a step closer with a grin.
“Yeah,” Stiles clears his throat. “Um, Derek- the friend- asked to court me. And I said yes.” Because you never asked and I don’t know how you feel. But he won’t say that out loud. Theo isn’t in the wrong for not having any feelings for him.
“Oh,” Theo’s face falls to something unrecognizable. He takes a step back, “that’s- that’s great.”
“What’s taking so lo- oh, hey Theo,” his father says from behind Stiles. “Are you hungry? I made chili, there’s plenty.”
“No,” the coyote clears his throat, “thank you though. I should really get going.”
Noah steps beside Stiles, “are you sure you can’t stay for dinner? Chili’s your favorite, we’d love to have you.”
“I appreciate it,” Theo takes another purposeful, almost forced, step back. “But it wouldn’t be right. Stiles,” the coyote nods, “I’m really happy for you. There’s still a place in my pack should the courting fall through. Goodnight,” the Alpha says, stepping off the porch and heading for his truck.
“What the hell just happened?” Stiles asks, thoroughly confused watching the truck drive off. In the matter of a few sentences, Theo went from perfectly normal to weirdly formal.
“That, Stiles,” his father closes the door, putting an arm around his shoulders, “is what a rejected Alpha looks like. You can’t be in two packs, son.” He guides Stiles back to the table, “out of respect for Derek, he’s stepping back until he knows how Derek will react to you being friends with another Alpha.”
Rejected Alpha?
Out of respect?
What? 
“But Derek wouldn’t-” Stiles’ heart plummets. “He still offered to drop me off at Theo’s after I agreed to the courting. Derek knew I was offered a spot in his pack. Did I- are we-” Stiles faces his dad with wide eyes, “Dad, did I just lose my best friend?” Something sharp stabs at his chest.
“Doubtful,” his father says. “Theo’s just going to give you guys some space for a little while. Once yours and Derek’s bond is stronger, things will feel less tense for Theo. Unless he wanted to court you.” Noah shrugs a shoulder, “that’s kind of what I got out of his whole reaction. Give him a few days, Theo’s not the type to leave you before your birthday. Nor is his pack.”
Suddenly no longer hungry, Stiles excuses himself to his room. Maybe he should text Theo. But when he unlocks his screen, there’s two texts waiting from Derek.
>> I’m so happy you agreed to let me court you.
>> Can’t wait to see you tomorrow, Pup <3
It’s enough to warm his heart and help him feel a little less bad about the whole situation. Fluttering in his chest at the name he hasn’t heard in ages.
The next day while Stiles is waiting on his porch, he gets a call from the least expected person possible. Tracy. Now, all of Theo’s pack loves Stiles and he them. But if there’s a more likely person to not call or text, it’s the kanima. They’re friends, yes. But they also butt heads over even the smallest of things. 
He slides the green button over, “hey, Tracy, wh-”
“Are you fucking stupid?” She cuts off his greeting.
“Try again?”
She growls, “no. Are. You. Fucking. Stupid?”
“Apparently,” Stiles scoffs, slapping his thigh in frustration. “Because I’m going to need you to elaborate here.”
Tracy’s laugh is anything but humorous, “Derek Hale? Really? He’s back for a day and you just drop Theo and leave us like that. Are you fucking dumb?”
“My childhood crush came back asking if he could court me,” he says louder than he meant to. His anger rising at the kanima’s tone. “Am I supposed to just say no to someone showing me obvious affection?” 
“Yes!” Tracy seethes.
“What?” Sitiles shrieks. Is this bitch crazy? “Why would I do that?”
“God,” she laughs, “you really are stupid. Because he’s not Theo!” Tracy snaps, yelling into the phone. Stiles is stunned into silence, he might’ve mumbled something, but isn’t quite sure his mouth even moved. The kanima sighs softly, “he was going to wait until your birthday to ask you. Have it be this big Jim level romantic gesture.”
Stiles is obsessed with The Office and Theo knows how much he not only loves Jim, but Jim and Pam. The thought alone is incredibly sweet and makes his heart swell. And ache. He already agreed to let Derek court him. He’s not going to back out from someone blatantly telling him they want him. He will give the wolf a fair shot.
“I didn’t know- I thought-”
“How could you not?” She snaps, getting annoyed all over again. “There isn’t a goddamn thing he doesn’t do for you or would do for you. You didn’t show up yesterday and he panicked! Theo is so fucking in love with you. I don’t know how you can’t see that!”
Stiles’ anger explodes, “because he didn’t fucking tell me! I had no idea! At least Derek had the balls to say it straight to my face! I didn’t fucking know, Tracy! I wanted to be in the pack. I want to be his mate! But Derek beat him to it and that isn’t my fault!”
“Stiles, that’s not what I’m saying,” Tracy sighs. “He loves you. We all do. We were all waiting for the day you were an official part of the pack because it already felt that way to us. And now,” the kanima takes a shaky breath to hide her emotions. It barely works. “Now you’re going to be in Derek’s pack. Can you just imagine for a second what that felt like for us to hear? That after all this time you don’t want to be pack? Josh is a mess. Corey cried. Theo- I don’t even know what he is right now.” Tracy huffs a scoff, “even I felt you leave and we fight more often than not.”
Stiles freezes on his porch, stomach ready to fall out of his ass. He doesn’t know what to say except, “I’m sorry.” He never meant to hurt any of them. Stiles was just trying to be happy. It’s not like he planned this. His childhood crush came back and confessed his feelings, Stiles figured why not give it a shot. That’s it. “I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“I’m not looking for an apology,” Tracy says gently. “I’m just trying to make you understand. Derek courting you isn’t finite and you can be courted by more than one person. I know you like him too,” the kanima admits, “so just give Theo a chance, okay?”
“But he left yesterday,” Stiles counters, “Theo could’ve asked, but he didn’t.” He watches the Camaro pull into his driveway.
“God, you are both idiots,” Tracy says and promptly hangs up on him. 
His face scrunches up, staring at his phone absolutely dumbfounded. Stiles doesn’t even remotely know how to feel. About any of it. 
But he smiles just the same when Derek gets out of his car greeting, “hey, Pup,” with a toothy grin. The Alpha notices the way he’s still kind of looking at his phone in confusion. “What’s wrong?” The wolf asks, pulling Stiles close, “who was that on the phone?”
“Tracy,” he answers, slowly coming back to himself from that roller coaster of a conversation.
The Alpha’s face twists, “Tracy? I don’t know who that is,” Derek says.
Which makes perfect sense. She moved here with Theo a few months after Derek left. “She’s my friend,” Stiles supplies, “one of Theo’s Betas.”
“Oh,” Derek says, his grip tightening before letting go entirely. He clears his throat, “are you ready to go?”
The odd way the Alpha reacts doesn’t escape the human’s notice. But he lets it roll off his shoulders, choosing to see it as Derek reacting to Stiles’ clear weirdness of what just occurred.
“Yeah,” he smiles up at the wolf, kissing his cheek. “What are you making?” Stiles asks, seeing the way the wolf settles at the kiss.
Looking less brooding and stoic, Derek opens the passenger door, “it’s a surprise. But I think you’ll like it.”
“So mysterious,” Stiles teases getting in the car. “I guess I can wait a little longer.”
“Good,” Derek quips, closing his door and getting in on the driver’s side. But once in the Camaro, the wolf gets closed off again. Silent most of the drive. Not even touching the human’s leg or playing music. 
Just the sound of the engine and the tired crunching twigs once they turn into the preserve.
It’s a little unsettling if he’s honest.
“Did I do something wrong?” Stiles asks, needing to break the silence. But also needing the nagging in his brain to stop.
“Not exactly,” Derek grumbles, pulling up to his home.
Picking at his nails, he mutters, “that’s not a no.” Turning to face the wolf, Stiles asks, “what did I do?”
“You agreed to let me court you,” the Alpha says, gripping the steering wheel harder, the leather creaking before he lets go. “I know I don’t have a pack yet, but I guess I just don’t understand why you need to still talk to them. They’re not going to be your pack anymore; I am.”
“Right.” If he agrees to mate with the wolf, that is. They’re not there yet. “They’re still my friends, Der. Pack or not, I care about them.”
Derek sighs, “I’m not saying you can’t have friends.”
“Then what are you saying?” 
“It’s just weird to talk to an Alpha’s pack that isn’t the one courting you,” the wolf tells him, still sounding a bit annoyed. Derek closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, “I don’t know, maybe it's just the traditional, strict way I was raised getting to me. I’m sorry.”
Maybe he’s right. The Hales were one of the oldest known werewolf families. Adding that to what his dad said about Derek possibly being a little intense, it almost makes sense. Maybe Stiles should be careful until the courting process is over. No matter the outcome. Lessen the chances of upsetting Derek. 
Stiles sighs softly through his nose with a smile, “it’s okay. I’m sorry I upset you. I wasn’t thinking about it that way.”
The wolf raises Stiles’ hand to kiss his knuckles, “come on, let’s go eat.” Derek doesn’t seem to be fully over it, but the human will choose to let it slide for now. The Alpha gets out of the car, coming over to get Stiles’ door. “I hope you’re hungry,” the wolf smirks, watching the human get up.
“Very,” he agrees, following the Alpha into the house. “It smells delicious,” Stiles says, noticing a pasta sauce of some kind. Derek leads him around the living room and into the kitchen with the dining room connected. The timer on the stove beeps. “Perfect timing,” he smiles at the candle lit set up on the table. “Do I get to know what you made now?” 
“Well,” the Alpha says, opening the oven and pulling out a dish. Closing it, the wolf meets him at the table, “I remember how much you loved my mom’s lasagna when we were kids.” Derek sets the steaming dish in the middle of the table, pulling the human’s chair out for him. “I used to make it with her, so I figured it’d be the perfect courting dinner.”
“It’s great, Der,” Stiles says, stomach already rumbling at the idea of baked cheese and meat. “Thank you for this.” The human watches the Alpha plate them both up, waiting until Derek takes the first bite before eating. He’s human, yes, but that means nothing with courting involved. The groan after his first bite is unavoidable. “Derek, this is fucking delicious.” 
He suspects that neither of them have tasted Talia’s cooking in the last three years. It’s a nice nugget of nostalgia added to their courting. Sharing something from a woman that meant an incredible amount to both of them. When his own mother passed, Talia didn’t hesitate to help with Stiles in any way she could. Their mothers were best friends.
Full bellies and clean dishes later, Derek takes him to the living room to watch a movie before Stiles has to go home. Hopefully after his birthday tomorrow, his father will drop the curfew. Or at least extend it. When he sits on the couch to snuggle with the wolf, Stiles’ phone buzzes in his pocket. He tries to ignore it, not wanting to be rude and enjoy his time with the Alpha. But it goes off two more times. Derek is clearly put off by it given his attempt to smother his growl.
“Sorry,” Stiles mumbles, pulling the device out. “Let me just make sure it’s nothing important from my Dad or something.” The Alpha is still aggravated, but the mention of the sheriff makes him deflate a touch. He sits up a bit to check his messages while the wolf picks a movie for them.
It’s just that, the texts aren’t from his dad.
They’re all from Theo.
>> I really need to talk to you about something.
>> I know you’re at Derek’s, so take your time. I don’t expect a reply right away.
>> I also know I should do this in person. But again, you’re at Derek’s and I feel like I’m out of time…
The bubbles are still moving on Theo’s side of the screen. Have been the entire time Stiles was reading the messages.
“How does Insidious sound?” Derek asks, looking at the t.v.
“Great,” he responds, seeing a block of text pop up. “I haven’t seen that in a long time.” 
Theo wrote a novel.
>> I’m sorry that I didn’t say something sooner. I really thought something on your birthday would work better. That it would mean more. Prove to you that I didn’t need a courting period to know if I wanted to mate with you. Because I already knew that I wanted to be with you. You’re smart, funny, and incredibly beautiful. Inside and out. Stiles, you mean everything to me. Pretty sure I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I guess I just didn’t realize that courting itself was a romantic gesture. So please, if you’d let me, I’d love the chance to court you too.
“Everything okay?” Derek asks, snapping the human out of staring at his phone. 
Stiles needs a minute to think. To breathe. Something that doesn’t make his chest feel tight and his stomach like it wants to expel his dinner. Not to mention his mind feels like a tornado was set loose inside. “Yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick before we start the movie.” Stiles slides his phone back in his pocket and gets up from the couch. “I’ll be right back,” the human scurries away and into the bathroom down the hall.
Thank you, muscle memory.
Closing the door behind him, Stiles puts both hands on either side of the sink. He tries to take a deep breath, calm himself down. Theo wants to court him. That’s insane. Stiles knows that Tracy told him a few hours ago that the coyote wants to be his mate. He remembers the strange conversation very well. But hearing it from her is one thing.
From Theo himself is something entirely different. 
It's not even that two people would be courting him either that's getting to Stiles. People are courted by more than one person all the time. His father wasn't the only person to court his mom. It's quite normal actually. Maybe it's the fact that it's everything Stiles wanted as a kid and now as an almost adult right in front of him that’s doing it. And he doesn't have the slightest idea what to do. When properly faced with your childhood crush and recent one, how the hell does one make that decision? 
Reaching into his pocket to read the message one more time and tell Theo he'll call him in the morning, Stiles finds only lint. His phone must have not actually made it into his pocket. Or it fell out getting up. It's fine, Stiles has stalled long enough already. He'll just text Theo when he gets home. The coyote did say to take his time. 
After actually going to the bathroom, Stiles rejoins the wolf in the living room. His eyebrows pull together in confusion at finding the t.v. turned off and Derek holding his phone. 
"This fell out of your pocket," the Alpha hands the device back. 
"Thanks," Stiles pockets the phone, for sure this time. "How come the t.v. is off? I thought we were watching Insidious?" 
Sliding his jacket back on with a frown, Derek says, "your dad texted while you were in the bathroom. Said he's going in early tonight and wants you home." The wolf snorts at his twisted face, "I didn't go through your phone or anything. It lit up from the floor, I saw the message when I picked it up for you." 
That seems innocent enough. Especially considering after a quick peek at his phone, the notification for his father's text is still on his lock screen. Stiles accepts the reasoning. "I'm sorry I can't stay," he says, stepping into the wolf’s arms.
"It's okay, Pup," Derek rumbles in his chest, encasing the human in his arms. "I will get you to myself most of the day tomorrow," the wolf reminds him. 
He allows himself a moment to just melt into the Alpha. To just enjoy being with one another since their time is being cut short. "Okay," Stiles begrudgingly lets go," let's get out of here before my Dad makes himself a new fur coat." 
For the first time tonight, the Alpha laughs, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "I doubt he'd go that far," Derek says, heading for the front door. 
True to form, the wolf opens and closes Stiles' door for him. At least the silence on the ride home is better. Comfortable rather than tense. No irritated growls or steering wheels gripped too tightly. Just Derek sweetly holding his hand over the gear shift while his thumb gently strokes the back of it.
His father hasn't left yet by the time they pull into his driveway. Derek cuts the engine, getting out to help Stiles out of the car. The chivalry definitely isn't wasted on him. He thinks it's absolutely adorable and very sweet. 
"Mind if I walk you to your door?" 
"Not at all," the human says, tucking himself under the Alpha’s offered arm. It's only been a day and already Stiles is thrilled with the way he's been courted. At first just having the wolf back in his life would've been enough. Now there's home cooked meals and lingering hugs. 
It's nice.
Then there's the Theo of it all. 
Yes, the wolf asked first, that’s true. But other than a crush on Derek that Stiles never thought would amount to anything until two days ago, Theo was who he was originally pursuing. There is nothing wrong with agreeing to let the coyote court him too. It's perfectly normal and fair. The choice will be hard no matter what, but Stiles can't properly make one if he doesn't have all of the information. 
For all he knows, Theo could court him and Stiles could realize they're better off friends. 
At least with that Stiles can say he gave it a proper try. 
"I'll see you in the afternoon," Derek says when they stop outside his front door. 
Stiles doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the wolf's middle, hoping he won't hate him for letting Theo court him too. "I'm looking forward to it, " he says when the Alpha lovingly squeezes him. 
"Call me when you wake up," Derek pulls back to look him in the eye. One hand stays wrapped around him, the other comes up to cup the human's face. The wolf is stroking his cheek, staring at Stiles' mouth. "Can I?" Derek asks a breath above a whisper, like anything louder would startle the human. 
He barely finishes his nod before the Alpha’s mouth crashes to his. Both hands cupping his cheeks, pressing their lips together. It makes Stiles dizzy, a small noise escaping his throat. Derek controls the kiss, there's no doubt about that. Stiles doesn't entirely mind it seeing as this is his first kiss in years. It's just a bit more rough than he expected. As if the wolf would consume him whole if he could. 
When the Alpha pulls back, Stiles can't breathe and his brain has gone fuzzy. He briefly wonders with his presentation just a few hours away if this is an indication of what he might end up being. With an Alpha affecting him this much from just a kiss. One without tongue no less. Or is Stiles just really pent up? 
"I'll see you tomorrow," Stiles whispers, hands on the wolf's chest. "Thank you again for dinner," he smiles up at the Alpha, "I had a good time." 
"Me too," Derek kisses him one last time, much softer. A barely there brush of their lips. "Go," he growls softly, "if I kiss you again, I'll never let you go." 
The comment makes Stiles giggle through his blush, slipping into his home. Through the window in the door, he watches the Alpha get in his Camaro and drive away. 
"Dad," Stiles calls, "I'm home! You still here?" He should be, the squad car was still in the driveway. Walking into the kitchen, he notices the door to the basement is open. It's never open. "Dad?" Stiles calls out to the descending staircase. 
His father's head pops around the banister, "hey, kiddo. Come here for a sec, would you?" He asks before disappearing further into the room. 
A little confused, Stiles does as told, heading down the creaky wooden staircase. He finds his father off to the side room where his mother spent her heats before his dad could get home. "What's all this?" He asks, seeing his dad making the small bed inside, the shelves newly stocked. 
"I work tonight and into the morning so that I can spend most of your birthday with you tomorrow," Noah explains, fluffing up the pillow. "This door locks from the inside, so you'll be more than safe. I wanted to do this just in case you presented as an Omega and I wasn't here to get you somewhere else. I don't want you to try and drive to the heat center by yourself." 
That's incredibly sweet and thoughtful. It's never not heartwarming the extent his father will go to protect him. They have no idea what his presentation is going to be and yet his dad ensured that no matter what it may be, Stiles will be okay. 
"Thanks, Dad," Stiles pulls his father into a hug. "Please be careful tonight." 
His father pats his back before letting go, "always am. I'll call you in the morning and let you know when I'll be on my way home." Noah cups the name of his neck, squeezing gently, "take care of yourself and call me if you need to." Stiles goes to playfully roll his eyes at him but the Alpha insists, "call me and I will come home." 
"Copy that," he grins, appreciating the care more than he can express. "Love you." 
"Love you too, kid," his father says, walking up the stairs to go to work. 
Now alone and fed, Stiles is unsure what to do with himself. Insidious was a very good idea. So he goes up to his room and changes into pajamas. Once snuggled under his covers he opens his laptop in search of the movie. Just as he's about to hit play, Stiles realizes that he never even messaged Theo back. 
Right now, he just wants to relax with a horror movie and get some sleep. But he can at the very least acknowledge the coyote and let him know that he's willing to talk. Willing to be courted actually, but his brain can't handle the full talk that response would initiate. 
I'm going to call you in the morning so we can talk about it then. <<
The response is almost as instant as it is confusing. 
>> It's okay, I understand.
>> You don't have to worry about it.
Doesn't have to worry about it? How did Stiles manage to fuck that up? Theo said to take his time. It's been barely two hours. Did he wait too long?
Looks like he won't be watching his movie after all. Rather curling up in bed and crying himself to sleep at the proof that he's truly lost Theo now. Possibly even as a friend too. 
At least he has Derek, Stiles supposes.
You'd think that after crying oneself to sleep that they would at the very least sleep in from exhaustion. Not Stiles.He's up at nine a.m. on the dot. Sore, burning eyes blinking angrily at the sun peaking through his blind. It's his own fault. In his haste to get in bed last night, Stiles never closed his curtains.
Grumbling to himself, Stiles throws his covers over his head, determined to fall back to sleep. Even if it's just another hour. His birthday has finally fallen on a Saturday, his father won't be home for at least two more hours; it's Stiles' day to sleep in.
The moment he gets comfortable,. His phone starts to ring from his night stand. "You've got to be kidding me," he groans, yanking the blanket down to his chest. Caller ID shows his father smiling brightly at him. "Morning," Stiles grumbles, putting the call on speaker. 
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STILES!" A chorus of voices yell from his dad's side. Sounds like the whole station. 
It significantly improves his mood, causing a smile to split across his face. "Thank you," Stiles says in earnest, his heart growing warmer from the affection from those who care about him.
Noah chuckles into the phone, "sorry if we woke you up. When I told them I was calling you, they wanted to say hi too. How are you feeling? Anything yet?" 
"No," Stiles grunts through his stretch. "Not yet at least. No knot or slick," he notes. "Maybe I'm just a Beta after all." 
"Maybe," his father comments. "Listen, I'm going to be getting out of here around two, so don't spend too long at Derek’s, okay?"
"You got it, Dad. Love you." 
"I love you too, son." 
Stiles sighs, slumping into his pillow. As great as calling Derek and having extra time with the wolf, he's still leaning towards another hour of sleep. He takes a quick peek at his phone, seeing a text from Theo and his pack, all wishing him a happy birthday. He's happy to see his father was right. Regardless of Derek courting him, Theo won't drop Stiles on his birthday. That the coyote still cares about him. 
He settles himself in bed once more, putting his phone on vibrate. Fully intent on not letting the heinous device prevent him from getting more sleep. 
The universe, couldn't give one single solitary fuck. 
Stiles closes his eyes again only for someone to start pounding on his front door. Rather incessantly too. Because he tries to ignore it, hoping whoever it is will just give up and leave. But of course, luck is never on his side and they continue to knock loudly. 
"Alright," he shouts, "I'm coming, jesus!" Stiles gets out of bed, not bothering to put pants on. Just walking downstairs in his boxers and sleep shirt. Let whoever this asshole is see that he's clearly not ready for visitors right now. "What?" Stiles snaps as he opens the front door, finding Josh. He winces slightly for yelling at the raiju. Only slightly. "Is there a reason you're pounding on my door this early?" 
Josh doesn't answer, just pushes past the human and into the house. 
"Yes, Josh," Stiles scoffs, "please, come in while I'm in just my boxers. Thanks so much for asking," he slams the door shut, a headache starting to creep its way in. 
"Fuck off," the Beta snaps with no heat, "I've seen you naked." 
Stiles gasps, "you promised!" It was one time. They had gotten into some poison ivy. Him being human and without the healing of his friend, Stiles had a rash where one should never be. Josh helped him with the cortisone since it was his fault they fell into it in the first place. "Not to be brought up ever again." 
"Yeah, well, that was before you went and broke my Alpha’s heart," Josh says without missing a beat. 
The human’s mouth audibly clicks closed. Stiles stands there mimicking a fish for a painful moment. Opening his mouth to say something only to shut it again because what? Theo said to take his time, but apparently that meant no more than two hours. "What?" Is the only question his mouth can provide, his brain too busy having a slight meltdown. Stiles is pretty fucking confused. 
He didn't do anything.
"How could you have said that?" Josh asks. "I know you and Tracy talked, I was right next to her. You told her you have feelings for Theo, but then you respond like that." The raiju huffs, "I just don't get it."
Stiles' brows pinched together, "like what? I'm so confused," the human says, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "All I said was that I'd call him in the morning. He's the one who told me not to worry about it." This is beginning to feel like the conversation he had with Tracy all over again. What puzzle piece is he missing this time? 
Josh's face contorts, like the Beta is trying to control an outburst. Stiles has never even so much as seen the raiju angry. Definitely never directed towards him either. "I mean before that," Josh says. 
"Before that? I didn't say anything before that. Come here," he says really only out of courtesy, dragging the Beta up to his room. Unlocking his phone, Stiles shoves it in the raiju's face, "see? Nothing. I was going to take my time and think. Like Theo said I could." 
The Beta cocks his head to the side. "Something’s not right," Josh mumbles, pulling out his phone and calling someone. "Tracy, steal Theo's phone and send me a screenshot on their conversation." He rolls his eyes, "I don't have time to argue," the raiju snaps, "just do it…thanks." Josh holds his finger up, asking the human to wait. The raiju looks at his phone, "got 'em, thanks Trace." The Beta hangs up on the other, tossing the device his way, "look." 
This must be a trick of some kind. But Stiles does as told, looking at the screen and his heart plummets. There, clear as day, are messages not on the human's phone. 
The screenshot reads:
>> No. You can't court me. I already chose Derek to be my mate. He's giving me the bite tomorrow. I never wanted you, you were just a placeholder until he came back.
>> Do not contact me again.
 So Tracy lied to me? <<
You don't want to be with me? <<
>> I never did.
>> It's always been Derek.
>> Leave us alone.
Stiles' eyes fill with tears, his fingers no longer capable of function, drop both of their phones. He can't see a thing, tears brimming as quickly as they fall. A silent sob wracks his frame. 
Luckily the Beta's reflexes are on point and he catches the falling devices. "Stiles?" Josh's voice sounds far away though he's directly in front of him. "Stiles, what's wrong?" 
"I didn't- I- I- that-" Stiles crumbles to the floor, Josh trying to catch him too. The pair end up in a pike in front of his bed. The human takes a shaky breath, worried the pain in his chest will make him throw up. "I don't understand. I didn't type-" he wildly flips his hands towards the raiju's phone, "-that!"
It's Josh’s turn to look confused, "the who did?" 
I didn't go through your phone or anything.
Derek's words ring in the human's head and his blood boils. Stiles growls, picking himself up off the floor and shoving his legs in the pants he wore yesterday. Nearly tearing his shirt off, Stiles yanks a clean one from his closet over his head, "that fucker. Lying son of a-" he throws on the first flannel his hand touches. 
"Stiles?" Josh nervously laughs, "you're kind of scaring me, bud." He can feel the raiju's eyes on him as he snatches his wallet and keys from his nightstand. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" 
"Derek!" Stiles shouts. "Derek fucking happened, the lying asshole. My phone fell out of my pocket when I went to the bathroom last night. I didn't text Theo a goddamn thing!" 
Josh's eyes bulge, catching up, "Derek did. Wait, did you even agree to be his mate?" The Beta asks, following him out of his room. 
"Nope," Stiles stomps down the steps, angrily putting his shoes on by the door. "I planned on telling Theo he could court me this morning."
"Oh shit," Josh murmurs. "Come on, we gotta go tell Theo," the raiju opens the front door for him. 
Stiles shakes his head, "no, I'll meet you there. There's a certain wolf I need to stop allowing to court me. Tell Theo I'm sorry, I'll explain it to him when I get there," he says, climbing into his jeep and slamming it shut. Roscoe roars to life, seemingly fueled by Stiles' own anger and he peels out of the driveway. 
The drive to the wolf’s house does nothing to quell his anger. If anything, with each passing moment, it got higher and higher. Leaving Stiles ready to explode as his Jeep squeals to a stop beside the Camaro. Almost certain the Alpha heard him arrive, but not giving a single fuck, Stiles pounds on the door. He hasn't even thought about what exactly he's going to say, just that he's pissed. 
Derek almost immediately opens the door, “hey, Pup,” with a smile. “You’re early,” he says, reaching out for the human.
Stiles slaps his hand away, “what the fuck, Derek? You told me you didn’t go through my phone. Liar,” he seethes, anger bubbling in his veins. 
“Pup, I didn’t-”
“Don’t lie to me again,” Stiles grits his teeth, shoving at the wolf’s chest. 
The Alpha catches his wrists, “can we please talk about this inside?”
Stiles deflates only just. At the very least, Derek deserves a chance to explain himself. It’s not going to change the human’s mind, but he can still listen. “You get five minutes and then I’m gone,” he says, crossing the threshold. “So? What do you have to say for yourself?” He turns around, finding the wolf staring at him with red eyes. “Derek?”
Derek closes the door, locking it, “I’m sorry, but you-” the wolf growls, taking a step forward. “You smell so good. You-” Derek closes his eyes, inhaling deeply before opening them again, growling, “you’re an Omega.”
“What?” Stiles whispers. He hasn’t felt any slick and still doesn’t despite being in the presence of the Alpha that was courting him. No heat symptoms either. Maybe the wolf is mistaken? Given the hungry look in his eyes, Stiles’ blood runs cold. He never should have come inside. “Derek,” he points towards the door, “let me leave.”
“No,” Derek growls, taking another step forward. So many alarm bells are ringing in the Omega’s head and he backs away with each step the wolf takes. “I’m courting you. You’re eighteen and now an Omega.” Stiles’ back hits a wall, nowhere to go with the Alpha blocking the door. “You’re mine and you will honor the courting. Even if I have to make you.”
His eyes grow wide and Stiles has all of two seconds to process what Derek means. The Omega tries to run, really, he does. But he’s no match for the advancing wolf. The human barely makes it three steps before Derek’s hand fists the collar on the back of his flannel, yanking it off as he throws Stiles to the ground. He crashes to the wood floor with a hard thud, his elbow screaming with pain as it takes the brunt of the fall.
Stiles tries to scramble away towards the door, but the Alpha snarls, claws biting into his ankle and drags him back. “No,” the Omega yelps, fingers uselessly sliding along the floor. What he wouldn’t give for claws to dig into the wood. 
“You will honor your promise,” Derek flips him over, slapping the human across the face. “Submit,” the Alpha snarls, Stiles fighting and thrashing violently. His face stings and he tastes blood in his mouth. Derek roars, making the Omega wince at the sound so close to him. But it’s the moment the wolf needed and he shreds the human’s pants, trying to remove the tatters. 
Down to his boxers and t-shirt, the Alpha flips him back on his stomach. “Please, Derek,” Stiles cries.
“Aww,” the Alpha breathes against the shell of his ear, tearing his shirt collar. “Begging for me already, Pup?” The name that once gave him butterflies now has bile rising in his throat. “I knew you’d come around. Don’t worry,” Derek growls, “I’ll be gentle,” he licks the Omega’s exposed neck from his torn shirt, grinding on him.
Stiles whimpers, tears streaking his face, unsure how to stop this. But then he remembers why he put on the same pants he wore the day before. In the pocket is a gift his father gave him two years ago. Whipping his head around, he sees they’re within reach. He can do this if he’s careful. Doing his best to ignore the open mouthed kisses on his neck, Stiles’ fingers wrap around the brass knuckles just as fangs pinch into his neck. Without hesitating, the Omega rears his hand back, whacking Derek in the side of the head.
The Alpha growls angrily, faltering enough for Stiles to scramble out from underneath him. Settling the knuckles firmly on his hand when the Alpha tries to get up, he punches Derek right in the face. The wolf roars wildly, clutching his bleeding cheek. 
“Hope you like the taste of wolfsbane, asshole,” the Omega seethes. “Consider this me relinquishing your courting rights,” Stiles says, punching the Alpha with the wolfsbane infused brass knuckles one last time in the mouth for good measure. With the wolf curled up weakly in pain, Stiles hastily grabs his keys from the floor where they fell and runs out of the house after unlocking the door.
He’s a mess. Flannel and pants left torn at the Alpha’s house. Stiles doesn’t even bother taking the now bloody knuckles off, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he flies away from Derek’s. With all of the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Stiles’ elbow and bleeding ankle don’t really hurt, thankfully. As he races through the streets, he checks his neck in the rearview mirror. Thank god it’s just a scratch, not deep enough to have mated them. 
He’d left his phone in the Jeep, but he doesn’t bother calling someone. The Omega has only one destination in mind. One place where he knows he can be safe with little fanfare. Theo’s. If he drives to the sheriff’s station- he’s not ready for that. Stiles needs comfort. And despite a wild misunderstanding, the coyote’s pack will protect him. Love him. Keep him safe. Surely Josh explained what really happened too.
At least, he hopes.
When he pulls up to the Raeken pack house, he barely has the care to turn Roscoe off. Stiles all but falls out of his seat, limping towards the front door as it’s yanked open. 
“Stiles!” Theo runs to meet him, catching the Omega as he collapses. “What happened?” The Alpha asks, scooping Stiles up into his arms and carrying him into the house. “Corey, grab the first aid kit, now!” Theo commands, setting the shivering human on the couch. 
“Stiles?” Tracy’s panicked voice meets his ears.
“What happened?” Josh asks, falling to the coyote’s side. “Did Derek do this?”
“Derek?” Corey asks, first aid kit in hand, opened and ready for use.
Hayden gasps at the state of him, “oh my god,” before running out of the room. Stiles hears her say something to Mason and Liam as she leaves, but doesn’t catch the actual words.
“I’m gonna kill him,” Theo snarls with glowing red eyes, getting up from the floor just as Corey starts to put peroxide on his bleeding ankle. For the first time since presenting, his Omega nature comes forth. Stiles whines, grabbing the Alpha’s wrist, “please don’t leave me.”
Theo’s whine matches his own, “never,” he collapses back to his knees. Taking the brass knuckles off so he can hold the Omega’s hand. 
“I’m so sorry, Theo,” Stiles chokes on a sob. His emotions get the better of him and he squeezes the coyote’s fingers.
“None of that,” Theo hushes him. Brushing the hair from the Omega’s face, the coyote kisses his forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. You hear me?”
“Alpha,” Stiles whimpers, curling into the coyote’s warmth.
Theo inhales sharply, “he’s an Omega.” The Alpha snarls, pulling the torn part of his collar aside. “And Derek tried to force the bite.” Stiles shivers against the coyote, trying to nuzzle into his neck, every fiber of his being telling him Theo’s safe. 
“He found out Derek’s been lying the whole time. He texted you, not Stiles,” Josh says. “He was going over to break things off,” the raiju sounds haunted. 
“You never even agreed to the mating in the first place, did you?” Theo carefully, though his anger is clear.
All Stiles can do is whimper and shake his head no. His presentation is in full swing with a proper, good Alpha in his presence. Stiles’ heat is starting being near the coyote he’s wanted from the start. “Theo, it hurts,” he whines, feeling slick slide out of him, his body stretching on its own. “Alpha, please,” Stiles begs, tugging at the coyote’s shirt.
“He’s in heat,” Theo rasps, sounding like all moisture has left his mouth. “Stiles, sweetheart, look at me,” the coyote lifts the Omega’s head. He looks at the Alpha with blown eyes. “You don’t know what you’re asking for. After what he did-” Theo growls. “We should wait.”
Stiles knows exactly what he’s asking for. It’s what he’s always wanted, heat be damned. There’s a reason his heat hit with Theo and not Derek. “My heat…it’s your fault,” is as close to voicing his thoughts as the Omega can get. He’s in so much pain, it makes functioning rather difficult.
Theo’s breath catches in his throat, “you’re serious?” Stiles nods, fisting the coyote’s shirt. “Okay, Little Omega, I’ve got you.”
A violent roar rattles the house.
“It’s Derek,” Mason rushes into the living room.
Derek followed him here. Seriously? Was Stiles’ right hook not clear? The Omega told the wolf he’s no longer allowed to court him.
“Do not let him out of your sight,” Theo commands, red eyes burning brightly as he stands up. The fight is already settling in the coyote’s squared shoulders. In his claws snicked out at his sides. In his sure, determined gait to the front door to meet his challenger. 
“No,” Stiles mumbles, but it falls on deaf ears, the door slamming closed. He’s an Omega now, but his senses aren’t fully formed. Probably won’t be until Stiles’ first heat is over. With that said, he can smell the pure, unadulterated rage coming from Derek. “Theo,” he croaks, trying to get off the couch. To help or stop this, he’s not sure.
All Stiles knows for certain is that he needs eyes on his Alpha.
Especially with the snarls and growls coming from outside. 
“I can’t let you go out there alone,” Josh argues softly. His hand on the human’s shoulder to get him to lay back down so Corey can finish cleaning him up. “You’re hurt.”
Stiles clumsily smacks the raiju’s hand away, his limbs not fully his own. He is hurt, yes. The Omega is in a tremendous amount of pain, that’s also true. Between his wounds and his first heat, Stiles feels like a right mess. Ask him if he cares. “By all means, come with me then,” the Omega grunts with his efforts to stand. His legs are wobbly, unstable through the searing pain of his heat. “But you’re not stopping me,” Stiles takes a shaky step forward, a violent cramp nearly making him collapse. 
“Fuck’s sake, you’re stubborn,” Josh says, looping an arm under the human’s to keep him upright. “God, he’s gonna kill me for this.”
“I’ll-” Stiles groans, pausing at the door for the cramp to run its course. “I’ll deal with Theo,” he says, yanking the door open, the fight between the two Alphas hitting him in full. 
Someone growls behind him. “You’re killing me,” Tracy says, stepping between Stiles and the fight. Not blocking his view, protecting him. “I’ll paralyze him if he gets too close.”
The Omega’s heart sings in his chest despite the scene in front of him. Theo’s bleeding from his arm and thigh. Derek’s face is still pretty fucked from where Stiles punches him. But the wolf’s shirt is now torn open and bloody in several places from the coyote’s claws.
“He’s mine,” Derek roars, rushing towards the coyote. The Alpha grabs Theo around the middle, tackling him to the dirt. The wolf rears up before the Alpha can fully block it, slamming his fists on Theo’s chest.
Stiles can hear the rib crack from here. “Stop,” he yells, hoping to distract Derek enough to give the coyote an advantage. A chance to get up. Because realistically, the Omega can’t stop shit. Not when it’s an official challenge. The only thing that could stop it is death or Beacon Hills’s Alpha forcing it to stop. Or mercy.
The moment Derek hears his voice, he roars wildly, lunging off the Alpha. Tracy’s claws are snicked out and ready, kanima venom dripping from their tips. But with the wolf off of him, it’s enough for Theo to get his bearings. He dives for the other Alpha, slamming Derek to the ground. Theo gnashes at the wolf’s face, missing by mere centimeters. The coyote’s claws pinch into the Alpha’s neck, a killing blow should Theo see fit, and he roars.
Stiles whimpers, knees buckling from his heat. Everything hurts and his skin is clammy with sweat. He’s clenching around nothing, his body not processing the danger before him. Theo meets his gaze and for the first time, Stiles’ eyes flash blue in response. “Alpha,” the Omega whines, his pain getting the better of him again. Thank god Josh is supporting his weight or the human would be a crumpled heap on the porch by now.
“Yield,” Theo slams the wolf’s head against the ground by his throat, growling in warning. Derek raises his hands, nodding. “Leave and don’t come back,” the coyote pinches his claws more, drawing blood. “I won’t grant mercy a second time.” Theo stands up, snapping his rib back in place, walking towards the Omega. “Are you okay, baby?” He asks, cupping the human’s neck, giving the pack a gentle squeeze. 
“It hurts,” he groans, feeling like his blood has been lit ablaze. “Theo, watch out!”
Derek’s on his feet again, stalking towards the group. Murder in his eyes as he snarls, “get your hands off of him.”
“You’re one to talk,” Theo turns, ready to fight again. “I’m not the one who tried to force the mating bite. Or tries to fight after being beaten.”
A squad car races into the driveway, his father doesn’t bother turning the car off.
“He’s mine!” Derek roars, raring to lunge.
“Like hell he is!” Noah fires off a warning shot, eyes bleeding red. “Now I’ve heard enough.” His father aims at the wolf, “come quietly, Derek. Don’t make me shoot you, son.”
Derek takes one last look at Theo and the pack now surrounding Stiles before turning back to his dad. No doubt smelling the wolfsbane bullets in his father’s gun. The wolf growls in defeat. “He’s supposed to be mine,” Derek huffs as Noah puts handcuffs on him.
“You need help, Derek,” his father says, getting the wolf in the back of the car. “Are you guys okay? I can have someone come pick him up if you need me to stay.”
The Omega stumbles towards the coyote who catches him effortlessly. “I’m okay, Dad,” Stiles says, looking lovingly at Theo.
His father nods curtly, understanding completely that he’s not the Alpha Stiles needs right now. “Take care of him, Theo. I won’t hesitate to come back,” he warns.
“I’ve got him, sir,” the Alpha says, kissing Stiles’ temple. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thank your Beta,” Noah leans on his car door. “I’d have never known if Hayden didn’t call.” He pats the door, getting in the car and driving away.
So that’s what the jaguar said to Mason and Liam.
“Alright guys,” Tracy announces when Stiles starts to nuzzle into the Alpha’s neck, slick sliding out at the contact. “Let’s give these two some privacy. Call us when we can come back,” the kanima says, ushering an arguing Liam away. The pack files into two cars, leaving the pair alone. 
“Come on, Little Omega,” Theo scoops him up, walking into the house, “I can hear the shower calling our names.” Stiles tries to whine in protest, he wants to be filled first dammit, not cleaned. It hurts. “Don’t worry,” the Alpha nips his neck, kicking the door closed. “I’ll gladly give you my knot in the shower if you want.”
“Only if you’re sure,” Theo checks in one last time while he toes open his bedroom door. “I mean, you seem like yourself,” the Alpha notes, “but you’ve been through a lot today.”
“Fuck,” Stiles hisses, the coyote walking up the stairs jostles his raging erection.
I want that so badly,” he groans, his brain threatening to muddle. Focusing on nothing but his Alpha’s knot. Of Theo’s fangs sinking into his neck and bonding them together. The coyote’s scent and presence washing away every horrid thing about today and replacing it with something good.
Stiles hasn’t hit the peak of his heat, that’s absolutely true. The Omega still has control of a good eighty percent of his faculties right now. The blinding pain that’s only just being staved by what little contact they have is making the rest of this very hard. But in this immediate moment, the most important part of all of this, his brain is working just fine. 
“I want you, Theo,” Stiles confirms. “I was on my way to ask to be your mate,” he says when the coyote gets them in the bathroom connected to his room, turning the shower on. “Derek found me first.” The Omega watches with half focused eyes, the Alpha setting him on his feet, carefully peeling his torn shirt off. Holding Theo’s shoulders, the human gets his shoes off. “I think I was blinded by- by-” the Alpha reaches behind his head, pulling his shirt off. “-someone blatantly showing- um- fuck me, you’re hot.”
Stiles shorted out for a second. After two years of basically being in the coyote’s pack, he’s seen Theo with his shirt off more than enough times. But this is so much different than watching them spar or the day they took a trip to the beach. Because in this moment, Stiles can touch and Theo wants to touch him. His brain is having a hard time processing that this is real. 
The Alpha looks down at himself, chuckling through his nose. Theo looks back up, not breaking eye contact as he slides his pants down. His eyes flicker red, growling softly at the choked noise Stiles made in the back of his throat.
“What’s wrong?” Theo smirks, taking a step closer, knowing exactly what he’s doing. His voice drops just above a whisper. Deep and sensual, killing the Omega where he stands. “I just figured it’s only fair to even things out a bit,” the coyote hooks his finger in the band of Stiles’ boxers, one brow cocked in question. 
Absolutely breathless, the pain subsiding only just at the promise of the relief to come, the Omega can only nod. The Alpha slowly, giving him all the time in the world to change his mind, pulls his underwear down, adding it to their pile. His brain comes back to himself when the coyote reaches to take his own off. Stiles reaches out, stilling the Alpha’s hands.
“Do you want to stop?” Theo asks, eyes filled with worry.
His skin is about ready to melt off if the Alpha doesn’t get inside of him pronto. Stiles is far from wanting to stop. “No,” the Omega assures, “just want to do it myself.” In his mind that will solidify to Theo that Stiles really does want to do this. That he’s an active participant, biology be damned. So the Omega does his best to ignore the flames he has for skin, letting the cramp roll through him at the hungry look in the coyote’s eyes. He lets his Alpha fuel him with courage, removing the last article of clothing between them. 
“Come here,” Theo whispers, cupping the human’s cheeks, pulling him in for their first kiss before he can get a good look at what he’s got to offer. It shoots a different, much more carnal heat through the Omega’s core. “Last chance,” the Alpha bumps their noses together while they catch their breath. “We can wait. Mate later or during your next heat.”
Worry works its way through Stiles,” do you want to wait?”
“Baby,” the coyote strokes his cheek, “I’ve wanted you for almost three years. I’m ready if you-”
The Omega crashes his lips to Theo’s seeing it’s not the Alpha’s hesitance rather his care. Theo catches on, not asking again, carefully bringing Stiles into the shower. The lukewarm spray is a wonder on the Omega’s scalding skin. And everywhere the Alpha touches is a balm to his burn. The way Theo’s mouth moves against him is nothing short of perfection. 
His dick is painfully hard, poking at the coyote’s stomach. Theo’s digs into him, just as beautifully hard and leaky. The sticky substance barely had enough time to fully touch his searing skin before it’s washed away. Lazily kissing and licking at the human’s neck, the Alpha wraps his hand around both of their dicks. Stiles moans, the sensation sparking electricity through every nerve in his body. 
He's going to cum embarrassingly quick and the Omega can’t even begin to bring himself to care.
Not with the way their cocks slide together deliciously under the spray of the shower.
Another whined moan pushes past his lips and the coyote growls, “do you have any idea how you sound? So fucking hot,” Theo nips at the Omega’s jaw. “Come on baby, do it again,” the Alpha encourages, quickening the movement of his hand. Stiles’ head falls back in a throaty moan, cum shooting out of his angry cock, still hard and ready for more. “That’s it,” Theo groans, a few pumps of his fist later and his own release joins the mess the Omega made of his hand.
His head clears only just, the flames a gentle burn beneath his skin with an orgasm under Stiles’ belt. But the only thing that will truly help is the Alpha’s knot stuffed deep inside. Something Theo is well aware of as he turns the human around, thrusting two fingers in his ass to check the stretch. Close to being a slave to his heat, Stiles is more than ready for the third finger the coyote slides inside. 
The Omega promptly cums a second time when Theo aims right for his prostate. “Untouched too?” The Alpha lets out a sexy laugh. “God, you’re perfect,” Theo growls, pulling his fingers out only to stuff his cock in their place. The coyote doesn’t wait when Stiles cries out at the sudden intrusion. Merely starting off with a leisurely roll of his hips. 
Stiles bends farther, bracing himself on the wall and pushing his ass back. “More,” he moans at the way the angle abuses the bundle of nerves. “Theo, please, mo- oh my g-god,” the Omega tapers off to a guttural moan, not sure where the sound came from. He’s never made it before. 
Theo pounds into him, the sound of their skin slapping all the more lewd in the echoing bathroom. The Alpha grabs Stiles’ shoulders, yanking him back to meet every one of the coyote’s harsh thrusts. “Fucking hell,” his words are clipped out in time with his powerful jabs. “God, you’re amazing,” he leans down, fangs grazing the juncture of his neck. “So amazing and mine,” Theo growls. Stiles nods, only able to wantonly moan at the Alpha’s ministrations. “Say it,” the coyote slaps his ass, “say you’re mine.”
“Yours,” the Omega gasps, “all yours, Theo.”
“That’s right, baby,” the Alpha snarls, sinking his fangs into the crook of Stiles’ neck. The human screams, cum splattering the tile wall at the feeling of the bite and their bond forming in his chest. “Fuck, come here,” the coyote pulls out, bringing him upright and turning off the shower. It was pretty useless anyway. Theo turns him around, kissing precious braincells way before the Omega is suddenly over his shoulder.
The human yelps at the sudden change, barely able to ask, “what?” Before Stiles is plopped on the coyote’s bed.
Not letting him be empty for long, Theo is back on top of him instantly, cock sliding right back home. “I want to see your face when I knot you,” the Alpha groans, eyes rolling back from the thought alone. “But first,” the coyote pants, setting a brutal pace that has Stiles seeing stars, “you have to bite me back.”
Having came twice, the Omega can barely move. Even his moans have gone scratchy from exhaustion. So Theo leans down, letting his neck hover right above Stiles’ mouth and he bites. With all the strength he has left, Stiles breaks skin until the Alpha howls out a moan, fucking into him impossibly faster. Harder, until the Omega is sure he’s going to split in two. But then he feels it, the base of Theo’s cock swelling.
“Thank you, baby,” the coyote leans down to kiss him. “Gonna take my knot like a good boy?” The Alpha growls. “And don’t you worry,” Theo gives him a pointed thrust to his prostate, “I’ll knot you nice and full with my pups.” 
Stiles moans, eyes rolling back as more cum spills out between them. Barely breathing out, “please.”
“Yeah, would you like that?” Theo asks, rubbing his cum into his stomach. “Breed you nice and good until your belly swells up? I’ll fill you to bursting, make sure it really takes,” the Alpha growls, knot pushing past Stiles’ rim and locking them in place. “Yeah, I’d like that too, baby,” Theo grinds against him a few more times until thick, hot ropes of his seed paint the Omega’s insides, moaning in his ear. 
Stiles lays there, spent and in utter bliss with the weight of his Alpha on top of him.
“You okay?” Theo asks, nuzzling the mark he left.
“Tired.”
The Alpha chuckles, “I’ll bet,” brushing their noses together before kissing him softly. “Keep your legs tight and hold my neck,” Theo instructs, carefully rolling them over so Stiles’ is comfortably laying on his chest. “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up and I’ll make us something to eat.”
“Okay,” Stiles mumbles, already half asleep from Theo’s soft rumbles. 
He may have had a shit start to his birthday, but in Theo’s arms, mated to him, Stiles is pretty happy with how it ended.
33 notes · View notes
konigsblog · 1 year
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Jaguar shifter gaz x reader, sniffing, playing, running around the base and mating
jaguar gaz rolling about with you, both your furry coats getting soiled and soaked in rain water, dirt sticking to your paws before running around finding a cozy nesting place, sniffing at eachothers scent. gaz having a musky masculine scent, smelling like a tropical forest on a wet miserable day, much like his climate.
in your human self, pushing your hips up as he angled himself at a position, pushing inside your tight cunt, fat dick suffocating on your tight and clenching walls. slick against your thighs, his pre-cum all around your pussy lips acting as lube.
his hairy thick cock, large and throbbing inside your core. arousal pooling as his hips rammed into your plush ass, so desperate for release! :( his cum filling you so nicely, whispering how much of a slut you are, and how well you feel and taste - bringing a finger to your mouth and having you suck his cum and your own slick mixed with eachother, whining and playing nibbling and biting at his fingers.
shoving his thick large fingers further down your throat, gagging you, and stretching your mouth out to fit his cock, preparing you to bury yourself in his sweaty pubes, head forcing you further down onto his base, next to his sweaty heavy and full balls.
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patterpea · 1 year
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More KinnPorsche Shifter AU fun! Because why not?
Also I don’t own these photo’s, they are just for references.
There are five known shifters in the AU:
Porsche - Black Panther (Jaguar.)
Fully grown and now stands at 5ft 2 from paw to shoulder, though with his head raised he reaches near 6ft. From the tip of his nose to the end of his tail he’s about 12ft long. He is very dark, his rosettes are extremely hard to see, in fact they tend to only be visible when he’s lying in a direct sunbeam. He loves to lounge, and has a habit of doing so in random places at night making poor unsuspecting humans trip over him. Give him a sturdy tree and he’s a happy boi. Also loves to snuggle, but only those he’s close with.
Why a jaguar you ask? Because I love the idea of Kinn buying Porsche and Jaguar cars to annoy him. Cuz hes rich, fuck it.
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Porchay - Black Panther (Jaguar)
Porchay still has rather large paws which would indicate, to his older brother’s dismay, he still has some growing still to do. Porchay stands at 4ft 10 from Paw to shoulder, and 11ft 3 from nose to tail. Porchay is lighter in colour, his dark fur more of a dark brown and his rosette pattern can easily be seen. He is of similar build to his brother, and they share the same golden eyes, but where as Porsche is silky to the touch Porchay is softer. Porchay loves cuddling, in both forms really, but particularly in his shifted form. A proper cuddle bug. (Kim stood no chance.)
Porsche and Porchay shift frequently at their house. Its been fitted to suit a climbing cats needs, large ledges for them to climb and lie down on. Their father had made it all by hand, he was still working on it when he passed away. Since then Porsche and Porchay have added to their fathers work and, as time grew on, they reinforced what he left behind.
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Chan - Eurasian Brown Bear
Oh, you thought Porsche was big?
Chan is a fucking tank.
From nose to butt (because bear tails are teeny, im not counting it) he is 15ft long, and from shoulder to paw he’s about 8ft. He is HUGE, even by shifter standards. He’s has a lovely dark brown coat, and dark brown eyes. In the winter Chan has to take shorter work shifts as his human and shifted self gets extremely fatigued. In this AU he’s less off Korn’s loyal bodyguard (though he still is) and more of a badass Uncle to the three boys. He’s been around since Tankhun was born, and he has a soft spot for all three of them. But he better not catch them slacking. (He also has a soft spot for his fellow shifters and takes them under his wing. In a Chan like way, of course.)
Korn and Chan are close, and this cause real strain between Korn and Bob, er I mean, Gun. Chan came into Korn’s service after he was discovered at a shifter trafficking warehouse that had been owned by a rival clan. A… lot happened, but Chan is family now, and to him thats all that matters.
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Arm - Barred Owl
Bird shifters don’t get as big as their mammal counterparts, for the evident reason being they wouldn’t get of the bloody ground. On average a mammal shifter (Porsche, Porchay and Chan) are about 100% - 120% larger than their animal counter parts. Bird shifters tend to be 60% - 80% larger.
Arm is a lovely cream colour with brown strips and big brown eyes. He is 3 ft 2” from head to tail and has a wingspan of 6ft 8”. Like most owls, in flight Arm is basically silent and even though he is evidently larger than a normal owl, he can be hard to spot at night. Arm has been Tankhun’s guard since before his kidnapping, though he was essential in finding him. A drone has nothing on a bird shifter in regards to eyesight and manoeuvrability. Tankhun’s kidnappers had to deal with not only 750 pounds of pissed of bear, but also a flying demon that aimed for their eyes.
Ever since then he has remained by Tankhun’s side, even after the man stepped down. Pete is still head guard, though people think its odd, but it works for them all, and Tankhun couldn’t give up Pete even if his life depended on it. Arm has to wear special glasses because the quality downgrade from his shifted vision to his human vision used to give him migraines.
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Porsche and Porchay’s mum - Jaguar
Porsche and Porchay remember their mother’s shifted form fondly, her bright golden coat made her easy to spot from anywhere, but when she purposefully hide she was practically invisible. Their mother would of been shorter than her boys, but not by much. She used to blame her husbands genes for that. She was a doting mother and one hell of a shifter. Porsche and Porchay don’t know much about their mum’s past only that she didn’t grow up around other shifters.
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That was fun! I’ve been really delving in deep into the world building of this AU. I am tempted to write it up and post it to AO3, but A Stacked Deck is quite large as it is. I was thinking maybe a 5 to 6 chapter with 15k words each. I dunno yet, but there seems to be interest!
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bellabrooks1510 · 1 day
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Praise for Courting Death
“Sunday may be my new favorite heroine with her sassy attitude and unexplained awesomeness. She’s becoming a total badass and I’m here for it!” -Elle
“What I loved the most though, was the humor sprinkled throughout the book! The references to song lyrics and smexy times were hilarious! Also, the FMC is so open and accepting. This and book one are some of my favorite reads of this year!” -Kat
Found family, forbidden love, demon uprising? Just another Sunday
Never split the party—it's the adventurer's first rule of survival. But my jaguar and vampire are off on their own journey, and I miss them like crazy.
We’ll journey from Mississippi to the vampire courts of Europe to bring them home while discovering wild magic and ancient enemies along the way.
• Mixed Group of Shifters and Vampires
• Alternating plotlines playing footsie
• Funny, relatable FMC with a faulty danger meter
• MF, MM, and MFM scenes
• Action Suspense and Mystery
• LGBTQ+ main characters
• Multiple POVs
• 100K words with a medium cliffy
http://books2read.com/Marchesebook2
#sarahreynolds #courtingdeath #marchesebook2 #paranormalromance #lbgtq+ #mf #mm #mfm
#somethingforeveryone
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