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“I need to know who he is. I need to stand there, I need to look him in the eye, and I need to know that it’s him.”

Zodiac (2007) dir. David Fincher.

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APPRECIATION POST FOR MY ROMANTIC F/OS

¬ As you can read in the title, this will be an appreciation post for my lovelies, incredible, perfect and amazing romantic f/os. Of course I also love my platonic and familial f/os and would make a post for them, but… maybe some other day lol. I decided to make something for them, because they are responsible for making me smile every single day, the ones who help me deal with my anxiety and hardest moments, the ones who are always there for me. They deserve everything from me, so this post will be an absurd thank you for all they did for me. I think it’s important to refer that I’m into polyrelationships, that’s why I have more than one romantic f/o. I’ll release all (or most of them) my emotions in this, so if you’re not interested in hearing some completely blindly in love girl’s love letter, it’s totally fine!


  • J, aka The Prince of Crime / The King of Chaos: The bastard who I deeply fell in love with. His intelligence, insight, fearless behavior, courage, force, independence and way more other features that I wish I could have and be. He’s always (“always”) there to cheer me up in his own way. By his side, I feel powerful and fearless, something I could never be entirely on my own. That’s why he is so essential in my life, because he completes my dark side and doesn’t judge me, instead he feeds it even more and more. I feel so special by his side, like I’m the only one… like he’s my soulmate. If I could say that I have several sides, he definitely completes my darkest one.


  • Arthur Fleck /Joker: And here’s when my sweet angel enters in the equation! He’s like my yang part: when in all its grace and purity, there’s always some darkness in the middle of it. That’s why I admire his Joker personality so dearly, where he turned on his “I don’t give a fuck” self without fearing the consequences. Like Joker’s romantic side, Arthur is the most caring, protective and giver lover I’ve ever had. He is my comfort, my conch, my safe zone, the one who I love so much to take care of and hold on just for myself. He’s so sweet and supportive, making me feel the most wanted and loved woman in this universe. I can’t thank him enough for that, but I’ll surely do my best to prove my love for him every day.


  • Patrick Verona, aka Koala Boy: If there’s any f/o who I can relate so much to my real life guy type, is definitely my Patty. He is so misterious, so loving, so protective, so non-judgmental, so independent and simple… he is just pure perfection. Of course I can separate my fictional fantasies and interests from reality, but Pat is someone who I can’t make that division at all. I totally imagine him to be with me in the real world, where we could have so much fun together, have new memorable and unique experiences, each other’s loyalty, understanding and own secrets… someone who I could create a new crazy and adventurous world, only us.


  • Jake Gyllenhaal, aka Mister Big Avocado Eyes: Nowww this handsome guy is new!! I haven’t made it public yet, but I think it’s time to introduce him to you guys, my family and also big supporters <33 Some months ago he was just my platonic f/o, my amazing dear friend who I loved to play around with, but apparently our love spoke louder… and not the friendship one ;) He is my most recent f/o, and I couldn’t be any happier!! We still have our childish moments and our playfulness, we just had some passion in the middle of it. He’s the most supportive and funny boyfriend I could ever had! Our chemistry is unique and unbreakable, as well as our same sarcastic and silly humor, and that’s what make us so united.


P.s: Me and Iván came to an agreement where it would be better if we become only friends. I’m still a little emotional with all of it, but what matters is that we are still there for each other! I’m thankful for having a friendly break up, he’s such a respectful and kind man, and I will definitely miss him as well as our sweet moments together <33

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warnings: SMUT 18+!! cheating, oral, cussing, daddy kink, spanking, light choking, sorry if i missed some

notes: sorry if ur name is anna, pretend it says nicole hehe

fluff version

I’m Yours - SMUT VERSION

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The black dress hugged your curves perfectly. Your skin complemented the dress so much it seemed to have glowed under the moonlight that peeked through your windows.

It was your brother’s movie premiere. And Jake would be there.

Jake was your ex. You were Hollywood’s favorite couple at some point, and the entire industry stopped when the news hit that you were going through a nasty breakup. Most of it was true, what they said. You did go through a nasty breakup, things weren’t on good terms between you both, and sure Jake has a new girlfriend, but they had one thing wrong - You most definitely did not hate each other. Jake’s new girlfriend was just a pawn. You knew it. He wanted you to know it. You’ve known Jake since high school, and you dated for 7 years. He was doing this on purpose. He didn’t love her, how could he? She’s so… God, she doesn’t even look good with him!

You and Jake just make sense. You go together. You were always happy, you always agreed, you loved each other. There was nothing on Earth that made you happier than Jake.

Somewhere along the line, something just went wrong. Jake thought you didn’t support him anymore, and a rumor broke that you cheated on him to get a role. It was a mess. How things got like that, you didn’t know. One week, you were laughing and adoring each other, and the next week, you’re at each other’s throats.

He was the love of your life. Even if he did have a girlfriend.

“Holy shit. You’re wearing that?” Your brother screeched from behind you. You laughed, turning towards him. He leaned in for a hug, pecking your forehead with a kiss. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you.” You said bashfully, beaming at him.

“Are you still gonna… talk to Jake?”

You thought about it for a second, “Well, I already went through the trouble and money of getting this dress, so… yeah. I think I will.”

You brother set his hands on your shoulders and rubbed them softly, massaging you.

“Just, you know, don’t be too mean to the poor girl. She’s not personally attacking you.”

“I know. Don’t worry, I’ll kill him with kindness.” You said sarcastically.

“I’m serious! What if she’s a nice girl?” He said hesitantly.

“Y/B/N, I’m more worried about Jake than his girlfriend. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll leave her out of it. God, why don’t you ask her out?” You giggled, punching his arm. He rolled his eyes and pushed a strand of fallen hair behind your ear.

“Lets go. We’re already late.” Your brother said, pulling your arm and tugging you both to the door.

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When you got to the event, you and Y/B/N were bombarded with pap. The event was surprisingly big, actors of all kinds were there. There were interviewers everywhere, desperately trying to get with your brother, the star of the movie. Tonight would be the premiere of his first movie of which he’s the starring actor. It was his outbreak, and it warmed your heart to see the little kid you once knew grow and make film history.

Your eyes landed on them. Her long red hair fell gracefully against her shoulders, her arm linked with Jake’s. He wasn’t smiling. He didn’t look happy. He looked tense. Your heart ached. You missed taking care of him. Jake always said there’s something about your energy that makes him happy even on stressful days. In the last few weeks of your relationship it stopped feeling like that for you. It was like he didn’t need you.

Your brother tapped your shoulder.

“Hey! Oh, hi!” You gave David, the director, a hug.

“You look stunning, sweetheart! Um.. you know Jake is here? You’re okay with that right?” He asked gently. People still walked on eggshells about the whole breakup. You appreciated it, but it made you feel weird.

“Yeah.” You smiled, “I’ll be okay. It’s just Jake.”

“I just want everything to go smoothly for your brother!” He squeezed an arm on his shoulder. “It is his first big break. You must be proud.”

“Oh, the proudest!” You smirked at David and your brother. Your brother’s face dropped, looking behind you. Silence took over until David,

“Jake! We were just talking about how it’s Y/B/N big night.” He said cheerfully, trying to balance the awkward energy. Jake leaned forward and shook your brother’s hand. You looked beside you, your eyes landing on Jake’s shirt. The shirt you got him for his birthday one year. It was a baby blue shirt, you’d gotten it because he told you he was gonna wear a dark blue coat and wanted a light blue shirt for it. You loved the shirt on him. It looked like his eyes. He did it on purpose. You bit your tongue and swallowed your anger.

Too far.

“Yeah! Congratulations. You must be excited.” The girl next to him looked between the two men, tugging on Jake’s arm, waiting to be introduced. “This is Anna! My girlfriend. This is Y/B/N.” They shook hands. “This is David.” So they haven’t met. Which means she doesn’t visit him on set.

“And this is Y/N. Y/B/N’s sister.” He said, eyes landing on you. You shook the girls small pale hand and smiled. She had a subtle look of repulse on her face, obviously knowing who you were.

“Hi! Love your dress.” You muttered.

“Oh, thanks. Jake got it for me.” She cocked her head to the side, pulling Jake by the arm closer to her. You scoffed quietly. She thinks she has the upper hand, but he’s still wearing the shirt you got him.


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The night was uneventful. For a premiere. Everyone was socializing, doing interviews, waiting for the movie premiere to roll around. You were at the bar, drinking. There was a lot about tonight that you wanted to just forget. You were dumb for trying to get him back. You were dumb for doing this entire charade with the stupid dress - it just wasnt worth it. Was he happy with her? He wouldn’t have worn your shirt if not, right? Your head was spinning.


“Shouldn’t you be with your brother?” You heard a familiar smooth voice. You hardly glanced over.

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?” You didn’t mean for it to come out as ugly as it did. Now you just looked like a hung up ex who was drinking because they saw their ex with someone else. Well, that was the case, wasn’t it?

“Why’d you come here tonight?” He asked, sitting next to you. “You knew I was coming with my girlfriend. Why not just stay home? Why torture yourself?”

“Oh, get off your fucking high horse.” You seethed, setting your drink down and turning to him. “You think I don’t know you? You’re not happy. You look fucking horrible, your beard isn’t even kept up with! Your body is tense and you’re doing that stupid face you do when you’re stressed out.”

Please. I’m happy. Anna’s great.” He said, his eyes darting and eyebrows raising. You laughed, sipping your drink.

“You’re not fooling anyone, Jacob.”

“Don’t make us do this here.” He whispered softly, his head dropping.

You set your glass down, put a $10 bill on the bar, got up from your seat, and walked out of an exit door next to the seating area.

You set yourself against a wall, breathing deeply, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

It wasnt long before you heard the door open, Jake following behind you.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going? We were talking!” He growled angrily behind you.

“Jesus Christ, there’s nothing to talk about!”

“Wh- There’s- Are you joking? You never talked to me about it after we split! Or during!”

There was a long moment of silence, the only sound being your breaths. You decided to bite the bullet.

“You wore the shirt i got you.”

“So? That doesn’t mean anything. Plus, don’t act like i’m the one that screwed things up.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t support me when everyone was against me! What kind of fucking boyfriend does that make YOU?” You yelled, shoving him with your hand and getting in his face. You were the one in his face, but he towered over you. His strong tall frame stood over you with a look of defiance in his face. He smirked down at you.

“I miss you like this.” He muttered out.

“What?” You said annoyed, “Like what?”

“Being bossy. In my face. It’s sexy.”

The sentence took you back, making you do a double take. The two of you looked at each other, your breaths slowing down. Your eyes gazed into each other, your eyes getting lost in his sea of blue. Memories of the two of you flooded back into your brain. The scenes were enough to throw you back into reality and realize what was actually happening.

“Jake, I don’t think -“

His lips pushed onto yours. His hands placed themselves on your face, deepening the kiss the two of you shared. His hands traveled to your waist, keeping them there, gripping the material of the black dress.

“We shouldn’t.” You said, kissing him with hesitation. His lips traveled to your neck, making you sigh softly. His teeth nipped your soft spot, and your body shivered when you felt him blow on the spot gently. If someone had come out now, it would definitely be a scene that paparazzi would eat up. And quick too.

He finally pulled back, looking at you. He searched your face for any real resistance.

“Everyone is too focused on your brother. No one’s gonna come out here.” He reassured you.

His words were enough to convince you. Really, you didn’t need much. His lips placed themselves back on yours, mashing together in the most delicious way. You’d missed his lips against yours. He pushed his hips into yours, hands going to your thighs to pick you up and steadying you against the brick wall behind you. His kisses turned soft for a moment. Slow, soft, gentle. Like you were a flower. His lips were so gentle against yours that it almost seemed scared.


“I love you.” You said. He opened his eyes, his mouth close to yours, eyes fluttering to meet yours.

“I love you more than anything.” He whispered back, kissing you with the same force as earlier. His hands held you by the back of your thighs, hands admiring the soft skin with gentle strokes as his lips moved against yours.

Jake’s tongue pushed past your lips, massaging your tongue with his. There was no fight for dominance, only gentle movements.

You rolled your hips against him, his erection sliding against you, creating the perfect friction. He groaned, pulling back from you and taking one of his hands to steady it behind you against the wall.

“I missed you.” He whispered, bringing his lips down to your neck and leaving small kisses. “Was so lost without you.”

Your bodies moved against each other, your breaths came out in pants. The scene reminded you of high school, desperately trying to get off no matter who was around. The thought made you giggle.

“What?” He lifted his head, kissing your cheek and nose and smiling.

“Remember our closet in high school?”

He threw his head back in laughter.

“‘Ol Reliable.” He laughed out, kissing your lips softly. You hummed, pulling him close. Your fingers trailed to his pants, unzipping them and popping the button. He pulled back, watching your hand go into his pants and stroking his half hard cock. The contact of your hand made him gasp out softly, sighing and fluttering his eyes.

“Missed your hands…” He breathed out. You leaned forward to kiss his neck, biting gently. Jake’s skin burned where your lips touched him. It almost seemed unreal, to finally have you like this again. The thought made him moan out, catching your attention. Your head popped up to him and your eyes stared into his deeply.

“Fuck me.” You whispered to him, your eyes hazy.

He shoved you harder up against the wall, stopping your movements in his southern region. His hand palmed his cock through his pants. He freed it from his pants and stroked himself. His hands went to your thighs, pulling up your dress to expose the white thong you had on. His throat let out a deep groan of approval, pushing his thumb on your nub of nerves. You gasped out and thrusted your hips lightly against his hand. His hand rubbed small slow circles on your clit, working you up. His fingers pulled your thong to the side, placing the head of his dick on your clit.

“Beg me.”

“Are you kidding me? Jake.” You protested.

He put his hand on your throat and squeezed gently, using his other hand to slap his cock against your clit. You yelped out,

“Please! Please fuck me. I’ve been so empty without you. Too long without you, sir. Please, fuck me. I know it’s not just me that’s been suffering.” You pushed your hips against his cock gently, lightly rubbing your pussy against him. He bit his lip and moaned, looking down at you.

“Keep doing that, baby girl.”

You rubbed yourself against him, your juices coating his dick.

Without warning, Jake pushed into you, making you yell out in pleasure. It had been so long since you had him inside you. His hand added more pressure to your throat, keeping you against the wall and slowly pushing his entire length into you. You were gasping for air at how well he filled you after so long. Your eyes crossed and your toes curled against his hips.

“Still so tight. Still mine after everything we’ve been through.” He muttered, focused on fucking into you and getting you both to your highs. “Don’t want anyone else to ever touch you again, beautiful.”

His hips picked up their pace, moving into you at a frequent pace. Your nails clawed at the material of his coat, clinging to his back.

Jake… just like that. Missed you filling me up. Never wanna leave you again.” You cried out, his arm squeezing around your waist at your words. His face buried into your neck and one of his arms kept him upright on the wall.

“Fuck, baby, please never leave me again.” He forced out, still holding your body close to his.

“Does she fuck you like I do?” You carded your hand through his hair, tugging softly. He nipped at your jawline and groaned,

“No one fucks me like you do, princess.” His hips picked up their pace, slamming into you at this point. His hands went to your shoulders, pulling down on them hard and thrusting himself into you repeatedly. You yelled out in pleasure at the slight pain of the quick stretch. One of Jake’s hands went to your mouth, covering it tightly with his hand.

“Jake!” Your voice came out muffled against his hand, your eyes shutting in pleasure. “Missed your cock so much! Please, please-“ You begged, desperate to reach your end. His body trembling and his hips quivering. His thrusts were getting sloppy and unsteady.

“Jake, let me down.” You said, tapping his shoulder. Once you were set down, you turned around and lifted your dress up to your tummy, revealing the thong and your bare ass.

“Mm, baby. No one could ever satisfy me more than you. Missed this beautiful body like crazy. Nothing’s gonna keep me from you.” He said, his hand rubbing your back.

“Cum inside me, sir. Want you to take me like this. I bet you haven’t had a proper fuck in so long. You’re mine.” You looked back at him, smirking. His hand tangled in your hair, pulling roughly. He slipped his cock back into you slowly. You whined out, your face scrunching into a face of pleasure. His hand slapped against your ass roughly, making you giggle and wiggle against his dick.

He inserted himself into you again, this time all in one movement. You bit into your hand, squealing at the sensation of being filled up all at once. You didn’t even have the time to catch your breath before Jake was grabbing your hips and pistoning into your walls.


“Jake! Right there!

“God, you’re so fucking tight.

You both said in unison, praises falling from both of your lips. One of his hands reached around to toy with your nipple, tugging on the supple flesh.

“Gonna cum inside you, baby girl. You want that? Want my sees to fill you up? Mmm… I’m gonna bust such a fucking big load, you ready, baby?”


“Mhm!” You moaned in enthusiasm, reaching a hand down to take your clit in between two fingers and rubbing quickly. “Want your babies, Jake!” You cried out. your cunt squeezed around his cock and violently convulsed as you were thrown over the edge.

You whined at the over stimulation of his cock still messily ramming into you. Your body was slumped against the wall at this point, just taking everything Jake gave you. He gripped your hips tightly and leaned down to kiss your shoulder.

Fuuuuck, Y/N.” His voice came out gruff and dry. His eyebrows pinched together and his hips finally stilled, spilling all his hot cum inside you. Jake groaned behind you, pulling out a little to watch it spill all over your pussy.

You were fucked out and could hardly even catch your breath. His hand went to your stomach, holding you up with his hand.

“Stay there, yeah?” He said, still out of breath.

“Where would I go?” You looked back, smirking.

He got on his knees behind you. Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion-

His tongue plunged inside your hole, licking up the remains of both of your juices.

You gasped out, reaching behind you to grab his hand that was on your ass, spreading you wide for him. His tongue swirled, moaning like a crazy man who’d just gotten saved from starvation. The overwhelming pleasure of your previous violent orgasm and the overstimulation of Jake eating you out was getting to you. Your eyes watered, tears spilled out. Your body tensed and you prepared yourself for yet another orgasm.

“Fuck me with your tongue, please, please, please, i need to cum.” You sobbed out, tears hot against your skin. His smirk was evident behind you, the cocky son of a bitch teased you with his tongue instead of doing what he knew would make you cum. His right index and middle finger came up to rub your clit. Your legs shut together quickly and he pulled back, chuckling.

Open up, baby doll.” He said demandingly. His hand came down on your ass hard after a couple of seconds, impatient. “Baby. Did you forget about our rules?” He asked, grazing his big hand against your hips.

“No, daddy.” You whimpered.

“Then, open up, and I’ll let you cum and still be able to support your brother. If not, we’ll be here all night. In this back alley. Where anyone could walk out.”

You nodded, opening your thighs back up for him. He immediately continued his actions, rubbing your clit. A sharp cry came from your lips immediately, the pleasure too much for you to handle.

“Oh, baby, look at you. I’ve missed this so much. Missed everything about us. She’s nothing like you. I could never be with someone else. They just aren’t you.”

His fingers rubbed at your clit and his lips and tongue worked on your sore pussy. There was an amazing amount of slick all over his face and your thighs. You squeezed around his fingers and tongue, feeling the coil about to snap.

“Please.. please, baby.” Was all you could say. You gasped and came silently, your eyes shutting close tightly and your thighs shaking.

“Mmm, that’s right, baby, look at your pretty little cunt trying to find my tongue.” He smiled adoringly, rubbing your ass gently to soothe the spot he slapped earlier. He set your dress down and placed an arm around your shoulders, helping you back up.

You felt exhausted and hazy. It was like you could barely even hold yourself up.

“We still have to go in and act like you didn’t just fuck my brains out. How am I supposed to sit down?” You groaned, still leaned against the wall. Jake chuckled behind you, pulling your back to his chest and holding you lovingly, fully dressed again. You turned in his arms and played with the collar of his baby blue shirt. You bit your lip, looking up at him. He smiled at you, leaving a small peck on your nose.


“I’ll break up with her.” He promised. You frowned, guilt pulling at your heart. “Hey.” Jake said, putting his arms on your shoulders. “This is my deal, okay? I was the one that used her. Don’t feel bad.” He reassured you, knowing you didn’t want anyone to get hurt in the situation.


You kissed his lips slowly, pulling back and stroking his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I never cheated on you, you know?”

He sighed, “I know. I’m sorry about the stuff I said about you… you know… when we broke up.”

You smiled at him gently, shaking your head.

“It’s okay. I said some mean stuff too.” You smirked, giggling. He laughed softly, his hand coming up to hold yours.


“Well, I guess this just means we’re meant for each other, huh?”

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I dealt with him briefly when working the media room at an award show. He was very pretty and very nice.

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