If Only I Could Get To You First (Bucky Barnes One Shot)
Summary: Bucky Barnes and you have been best-friends, but unknowing to the other you both are also in love with the other. Though everyone else seems to know.
Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Modern AU, swearing, past domestic abuse (non descriptive), mutual pining, fake dating, confessions, best friends, angst, fluff, i just want to squish bucky into a hug, brock rumlow is a dick head, hurt/comfort, love confessions, crying, loving from afar
playlist: taylor swift: treacherous (taylors version) / mohit chauhan: dooriyan (from ‘love aaj kal’ 2015) / aditi singh sharma & arijit singh: raabta (night in a motel) highly recommend this song seriously.
a.n. originally this was supposed to be full of angst, but it turned into this beautiful world of feels.
Word Count: 10k
Main Masterlist || My AO3
In the list of bad ideas your best friend compelled you into, only two ever worked out in your favour.
One was sneaking into your first high school party, you’d had your first kiss.
The second was when she pushed you onto the dance floor at the frat house’s halloween party and you bumped into the warlock.
“Woah, easy there.” He’d caught you with a charming grin and his blue eyes. Your lungs would not breathe till he would tell you too.
“Are you alright?” Those blue eyes to a once over, checking for any sign of injury.
“I’m—I’m so sorry, I lost my footing.” You look to the side to glare at your best friend but she is luckily not in your line of vision.
“Woah, doll, who is on the receiving end of that glare?” He wonders loudly over the music which somehow doesn’t bother you.
“My best friend pushed me.” You explain, sighing.
“We could work on a hex.” He offers, you let out a laugh, he’d interpreted your last minute outfit well enough, deep red turtle neck and skirt with a borrowed blonde wig.
“You’re the first person to know who am I.” You smile, he bows.
“The others are beneath our intellect. Do you want to move to the side?”
You nod, his hand finds yours and the night floats away.
“James Barnes, warlock for tonight. What is your name Sabrina Spellman?” He offers his name and then you give him yours.
Conversation flows on, in the little nook of the house.
Movies, TV Shows, a heavy argument about Professor Snape and Dumbledore and then academic choices.
Time went on numbers exchanged, as were memes.
Coffee tumblers refilled over hours every Wednesday.
Movie marathons, study dates, celebrating A pluses and even the occasional C minus.
Pranking his very unhygienic third roommate by placing cups of detergent all over his room and a few cups of water.
Bucky has good days and bad ones for three months after the break up, the timing awful between midterms and assignments but they served distraction.
To celebrate the end of the torturous examinations you both make your way around New York City. In search of 1 am pizza.
“How are you?” You know it is a question she could dodge but the way he seemed to carry himself slowly coming into his own had given you hope.
Bucky only stiffens for a moment at the question, progress you deem.
“Honestly I feel it was a good thing.” He takes a bite; the cheese pulls and he grins in approval. You take a picture of him as he makes a silly face, both laughing now.
“I might not date for a while but I know I will eventually.” He informs of the decision.
“That is good.” You pat his back, taking your own bite as he in turn takes a picture of you pulling a silly face.
Slowly your phone memory is filled with several outings with your now extended group of friends, and several more with Bucky. He returns back to himself after a few months more, after a few okay-ish dates and he finds himself seeking your company.
He grabs a bouquet of your favourite flowers, his legs need no guidance to the familiar path of your home. Bucky stands near the entrance as the doorman, Percy smiles at him with kind eyes.
“She’s gone out.” Percy tells him, therefore Bucky waits, leaning against the wall phone in his hand scrolling through the fresh batch of micro sized comedy he could send to you.
Familiar sounding laughter pulls him in, your bright face greets his view, then your fingers curl around an arm. He follows the touching limbs to see the face of Rumlow.
You seemed so radiant around the man. Bucky clutches the bouquet tighter as though in an attempt to ground himself or stop his heart from breaking before it could even be given to you.
Rumlow turns you before you can leave his embrace to go to your apartment. Your laughter carries through to Bucky. He watches, lips pressed into a thin line.
Rumlow pulls you close, whispering something your ear, you bite your lip nodding.
Bucky could hear his heart cracking over the noise around him, as your lips are upon that man’s own. He turns, walking away still clutching the bouquet.
Bucky Barnes and you — best friends through college. Maybe that shouldn’t change.
Bucky nods to himself, his feelings probably arose because of the time spent together and your friendship growing deeper. So he tucks this little crush upon you away, and decides that best friends is what you both are meant to be.
Seven months after graduation, Natasha nurses your busted lip. Vodka on the table is also for drinking she tells you. It soothes the ache from your broken heart and lip.
Your phone still unresponsive from the one person you need. How many texts does it take for a best friend to respond?
“I could call him.” Natasha offers as you shake your head.
“I, my texts should be enough, I left him calls as well.” You explain, “Could, could you ask Steve where is he?”
Natasha studies your face, she knows you’re hurt over Bucky not responding. Brock Rumlow was the furthest thing from your mind and heart.
“I will,” She promises and your phone rings, your best friend’s face flashing across the screen.
You take the call knowing the odd time difference between the two of you had her more on edge.
“Hey,” You greet.
“Don’t hey me, did you report him?” She all but yells.
“I don’t want to associate any further—,”
“Bullshit, you absolutely should report that piece of shit unless Barnes has murdered him already, so you cannot call the cops cause then he will be in jail.” She cuts you off.
“I don’t think he knows yet.” You admit, Natasha looks at you, quietly speaking to Steve and updating him about what occurred.
“What do you mean? Is he okay? Because Barnes would not let that asshat breathe. Hell I’m taking the next plane out of Melbourne.” Her nails on the keyboard resound.
“No, no, don’t! Just, okay, look Nat patched me up and she also said vodka’s good for the pain as well so I’m fine and he’s, he’s probably busy…” You defend Bucky, once again.
“Babe, he has been busy awful lot since he started dating that bimbo bitch.” She clicks her tongue, annoyed at the man.
“Look can we just, drop the whole thing, I, I think I need to sleep, and you need to get to work.” You remind her.
“Just leave me messages through the day alright and no memes or links coherent language only.” She warns you.
“Yes alright coherent language only.” You promise.
Nat comes by with a plate of food, placing it in front with a fork. You stare at the pasta for a minute.
“I called Steve, he got through, Bucky is out with her…” She trails off.
“Oh, did Steve say anything?” You hesitate to ask, Nat shakes her head.
“He knows you wouldn’t like her to know so he just made sure Bucky would check his messages.” She gnaws at her bottom lip struggling to say something.
“What?” You look at her.
“You should really report him, this wasn’t the first time was it?” She states you look down at your hands.
“No.” You close your eyes at the admission.
“How long have you kept things from us? From Bucky?” She places a gentle hand over your forearm.
“He, he was very particular, no where where anyone would know. Started two months ago. I tried breaking up after the first time but—,” Your vision blurs, the tears are harder to hold back.
“Do you want me to take pictures? I know we can file a case, or at least a restraining order…” Natasha tries to coax you to listen to her but you just shake you head.
“I can’t I don’t want more trouble, Nat. It’s over he’s gone. The fight was more about him shifting to L.A. and me not wanting to follow.”
“Are you in love with him still?”
“I never was, I just, I thought I could learn to love him and then he just tried to beat it into me…” You shudder in remembrance.
Natasha leaves the topic, knowing that it was difficult to walk away even let alone relive the ordeal.
It is four days later at the scheduled game night that you see Bucky, you don’t greet him.
He furrows his brow when you move away from the living room to the bathroom before he can take a good look at you.
“Where’s Rumlow?” He questions and the room turns silent.
“Did you not see her messages?” Steve crosses his arms.
“What messages?” Bucky retrieves his phone.
“Barnes, when did you last speak to her?” Nat questions then scoffs as Sharon wraps her arm around his wrist pushing the phone down.
“A few days ago, why?” He answers, running a hand along Sharon’s arm.
“Bucky.” She pouts.
“What is it baby?” He questions, being distracted from the conversation at hand by his girlfriend.
“Bucky you should go speak to Y/N.” Steve adds with a bit more seriousness.
“What happened, is she, is Firefly alright?” He looks up in worry.
“Ugh, she always wants your attention.” Sharon whispers loudly, “Does she not have her own boyfriend?”
“Don’t you have better things to do than cling to Bucky’s arm? Or is your default personality trait whiny girlfriend only?” Natasha uses the same tone as Sharon.
Sam covers up his laugh with a cough.
“Bucky.” Sharon whines again then moves away to go to the balcony sniffling and tears welling up.
“Crocodile tears.” Nat rolls her eyes.
“Nat.” Bucky gives an exasperated look, chasing behind Sharon to mend things.
“Steve, please let me punch him.” Nat pleads.
“You know she doesn’t want us to tell him, how has he not responded after the texts? We all got them.” Steve sighs taking another sip of his beer.
You return, wiping you eyes, for any stray tears or mascara.
“Whats got her in pain now?” You ask, a look of disdain taking over. You try not to stretch your lip as the sting from the cut still presents itself.
“Nat called her whiny.” Sam chuckles.
“Nat…” You sigh.
“What, it’s about time we call her out.” She shrugs.
“How are you holding up?” Sam questions, eyes on your busted lip.
“Eh, been better will be better soon I guess?” You shrug and wince as the pain in your shoulder blade presents itself.
“And now she’s making a face at me!” Sharon accuses you and then goes back to the balcony.
Bucky’s heavy sigh echoes through the room.
“Firefly, can you not? I know you all don’t like her much but I do okay? Christ some best friend you are,” Bucky turns back to once again console his girlfriend running a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Some best friend?” Your cold tone makes Bucky turn to face you, a quip ready on his exhausted tongue, he doesn’t get to speak because he finally takes in your appearance.
The bags under your eyes, the redness housed within them, the busted lip you have and the slight wince as you take a deep breath.
“I’m going to kill him.” Bucky connects the dots in his mind.
“No need, these were days ago, I needed you and you were not there James.” You accuse, tears brimming once more.
“I, Steve said to see my texts but I had none from you… Steve why did you not say anything?”
“You could have called me. You, I left you voicemails, crying sobbing, asking for you. For your help. You weren’t there. They didn’t say anything because I wanted to tell you but then again, your time and devotion is pre-booked. Let me know when a slot opens up, I can summarise the whole thing in two minutes, the least I can do as some best friend.” You sneer, walking towards the door in no mood to stay any longer.
Bucky mechanically follows you,
“Firefly, I—, I swear I don’t have any messages, I’m not lying!”
“You could have called!” You accuse.
“I was out—,” Bucky tries to grasp your hand.
“Like I said, I know you’re too busy, for me.” You press the call button several times more waiting for the elevator to come up faster.
“That is no excuse, I’m so sorry, I just, please stay, we can talk.” His hand reaches to grab your shoulder. A painful sound escapes you and you flinch away from him.
“Where else did he hurt you?” Bucky’s tone holds no emotion, you look up at his face, the stoic expression masks his feelings but the anger in his blue eyes is reaching its summit.
Your eyes shift to the elevator when it dings to signal the opening of the doors.
“You aren’t leaving.” Bucky informs you.
“I do not want to talk about this.” You tell him, feeling like your heart might break again.
“I do. I need to know what did he do, because he won’t be breathing after I’m done with him.”
“It doesn’t work that way.” Your eyes shift to Sharon who rolls her eyes at you, then puts on a pout when Bucky turns to look at her.
“Bucky,” “Not now Sharon.”
Bucky turns back, but you’re inside the elevator. He steps ahead to join you, the doors begin closing his fingertips just graze the border where the sensors would have the automatic doors reopen.
He’s pulled back by his arm by Sharon, you look down. Heart breaking again, that you can’t even be prioritised by your best friend. He won’t even fight for you.
Bucky catches the quiet sob that escapes past your lips at wrapping itself around his heart squeezing upon it.
“Do you have any semblance that someone else could have bigger problems that you?” Bucky looks at Sharon, taking his arm out of hers.
“Baby,” She begins her fake tears again.
“God, not with this again. Sharon, seriously please.” Bucky groans in frustration.
“You want to spend all your time with that stupid bitch.” She complains as Bucky turns to press the elevators if he is fast enough he can catch up to you.
“She’s my best friend. She needs me.” Bucky glares at Sharon.
“No, she does not she managed to find help elsewhere four days ago, she just wants your attention.”
“What the fuck did you say?” Natasha verbalises the question brewing within Bucky.
“I-, no I said nothing! Nothing!” The blonde stutters in defence.
“Oh I’m going to smack this fucking bitch—,” Nat is pulled back by Steve.
“Did you delete Firefly’s messages and voicemails?” Bucky’s voice is low and cold, almost similar to what yours was towards him.
“I—, no,” Sharon gulps audibly, sweat breaking across her forehead.
“You have one more chance, did you fucking delete messages my best friend left for me, at a time she needed me?” Bucky’s hands form fists. Sharon had kept asking to take pictures on his phone, then sending herself the ones she liked thats when she must have deleted all of your communication to him.
“Bucky, it’s always, Firefly this and Firefly that, what about me?” Sharon defends, trying to move close to Bucky.
The elevator dings, opening on the floor. Bucky crosses the threshold.
“I’m going to send the elevator back up, I want you out of my life. My house key can be dropped off here at Natasha’s, don’t you dare try to contact me or anyone. It is over.”
Sharon’s final plea falls on deaf ears as the doors are closed and Bucky lets out a heavy sigh. He brings out his phone trying to call you as he jogs through the crowd towards the nearest station, checking the watch he knows the next train leaves in ten minutes.
Bucky calls out your name through the station, his breathing erratic. You have your hood up, not wanting to be spotted by him.
You can hear his calls, the way your phone vibrates in your pocket a frantic echo of his own booming voice.
“I’m sorry, I really am so sorry, it is no excuse she deleted the messages, fuck, I should have called. I should have been the one there. I’m your best friend. I should have caught on earlier.” He tenderly cups your face between his hands, guilt seeping into his bones.
His thumbs wipe your tears, you don’t want to have a public meltdown.
“Come on let’s get you home, I think we still have time to grab ice cream from Mrs. Lorena’s store.” His warm hands leave your face, but the warmth returns on your hands as he intertwines them with his, you want to cry all over again.
Bucky takes charge of leading you through the night train, you both stand in favour of the elderly couple who need the seats. They look at the two of you warmly.
You feel small, your hand never leaving his, he stays close with almost a protective stance over you.
Bucky notes the change in your demeanour. How you’re hiding away, flinching at loud sounds.
It eats at him how these small things had inculcated themselves into you the past months you were with Rumlow. He didn’t care about the consequences, he will beat the shit out of that fucker.
Your mind races, back to the night you first went out with Rumlow. Somehow your mind kept comparing what he did to Bucky. As though your tall brunette best friend should be the standard of all men.
You grasp the handle of your suitcase a little tighter as Bucky’s car pulls around the corner. You walk closer to the edge where he could park for a few moments as you would load up your things.
Bucky set the car into park stepping out and greeting you with a wide smile. You return the gesture, he envelopes you into one of his warm hugs. Easing your nerves.
“Here give it to me and you can hang the dress near the suit.” Bucky takes your small suitcase and you open the backseat door his navy suit hanging from the hook, you place your own dress near it. Checking for any folds and then getting into the front seat with him.
“So um,” He says after a few moments of silence.
“Yeah?” You look at him, he seems nervous.
“We need to get our stories straight…” He hints you nod.
“When did we start dating, first date, who asked who?” You list, he nods.
“Guess watching those rom-coms proved to be useful.” He chuckles, you swat his arm lightly.
“Okay so we sort of confessed a few months ago, but we were scared to ruin the friendship.” He offers, which in a sense was true for him, though he never confessed. Even though he had fallen for you.
“Yes and we decided to date other people, but those didn’t work out so we decided to give it a shot cause the feelings never went away.” Which was true you think, at the back of your mind you were in love with him.
“Okay, yes so we’re dating since a month and a half…” He offers, you hum in agreement.
“Yep and first date…” you pause to think.
“Ice cream parlour.” He offers, you smile that was actually your first outing as friends.
“Yeah, and you had the cherry stuck to your nose with whipped cream.” You begin to laugh.
“Oh right miss, whipped cream moustache.” He gives you a look, chuckling as well.
“Oh right, you looked like a clown.” You roll your eyes.
“And you were my sidekick.” Bucky teases.
“Alright, alright, and we both confessed, got each other flowers and stuff.” You admit, you had put the flower in resin.
Bucky grips the wheel, he had gotten one flower’s petals from the bouquet preserved.
“Yeah, that, that sounds romantic enough.” He clears his throat. The earlier tension seeping back into him, was this a mistake? What if he said something stupid.
“Hey, um, Buck?” Your hand rests on his shoulder.
He looks at you at the stop sign.
“If, if at any point you feel the whole faking thing gets too much lets you know keep a safe word and we’ll you know revert to being best friends and try to exit that situation okay?” You offer.
“You’re perfect you know? I was nervous what if it gets too much for either of us and this yeah the safe word is sensible.” He agrees.
“So whats our safe word?” You question.
“Draw-four.” His mouth twists as though he can taste the loss against your multiple draw fours that you saved just for him at the one on one game.
You can’t help but laugh, “Okay, draw-four it is.”
Bucky shakes his head, shifting the gear as the green light comes into view.
“Also, Firefly, I want you to be comfortable I know what the fucker did might linger or come back at random moments, I know you’re doing well with therapy but if it gets too much or if anything triggers you, please tell me. I will get you out of that situation or help you as you need okay?” He says, you feel your chest constrict at the intensity of him caring about you.
“I will, Bucky, I promise.” You give his hand a squeeze oer the gearshift.
The two hour journey to the venue has you both slightly tired, mostly hungry. The rehearsal dinner was the event you both had to dress up first for, as you both enter the venue.
A squeal has you both turn.
“Maya.” Bucky grins opening his arms for his cousin to come crashing into him.
“I thought you were going to ditch my wedding.” She complains but then bounces excited, “Now introduce me to your date!” her eyes turn to you, widening.
You offer a smile your congratulations to her caught in your throat as she screams excitedly once again.
“Oh my god, I knew it! I knew this would be best friends to lovers! James you did good! Wait till I tell Aunt Winnie and Becca!” Maya cheers pulling you into a hug. You hug back and Bucky scratches the back of his neck giving you a nervous look.
Maybe it would not be hard to convince them that you both were in love he thinks…. The only problem was how does he convince himself not to blabber to you.
You feel Maya’s excitement seep into you as well when she pulls away, jumping slightly.
“Congratulations!” You cheer.
“Girl, you have to tell me how did you both realise.” She raises a finger up in warning.
“I will, I will.” You give a promise to the bride.
“What is all this commotion?” Winnie Barnes steps out of the room that Maya was in, her smile widening as she spots her son.
You admire them as they hug after months of staying apart.
Winnie pulls away from the hug, running a hand over Bucky’s hair and then cupping his jaw.
“Ma, don’t cry you saw me yesterday on video-call.” Bucky wipes her tears.
“Not the same,” She pats his head, placing a kiss on his forehead.
“I love you.” He engulfs her in a hug again.
“I love you too, sunshine.” She smiles warmly.
“Now where is this mystery date of yours, hiding things from your Ma,” She gives him a small glare, Bucky widens his eyes. He scrambles to turn and his hand is outstretched towards you, you intertwine your fingers with his, stepping next to him.
“Bucky, you better not be lying.” She looks between the two of you, his grip tightens on your hand.
“We’re not, Mrs. Barnes—,”
“Sweetheart, Winnie for you always.” His mom corrects you, a warm smile.
She cups your cheek as well.
“So he finally came to his senses.” She teases.
“We both did…” You add with a smile, looking up at Bucky, admiring him.
Bucky looks down at you, your gazes transfixed upon each-other his blue eyes inviting.
Bucky wants to be lost in your eyes, drowning in their deepness. Submerging himself in the affection that they currently hold for him.
A flash has you both turn and shake your heads.
“I need one for the album.” Maya reasons and Bucky sighs.
“Send me a copy?” You offer trying to dissipate the tension.
“Why don’t you both settle into your room? And no funny business.” Winnie warns, you both pale.
“Ma, I would, no—,” Bucky stutters, a blush coating his cheeks.
Winnie looks at you, before laughing.
“He better be treating you right, sweetheart, if not just tell me. I’ll sort him out.” She gives him a warning look.
Then Winnie cups your cheek, “I am so happy you’re with him.” She says earnest.
Guilt gnaws at you, Winnie probably would be heartbroken if she knew you both were lying through your teeth.
“Sir, Ma’am, your room is ready, we’ll have the luggage delivered to your room in the next ten minutes.” The receptionist hands you the keycards.
“Well go freshen up I’ll see you both at seven-thirty for the rehearsal dinner.”
With a final hug to Winnie and Maya both of you sauntered into your room. Bucky looks at the bed. The only bed.
“Um, I’ll take the sofa.” He offers.
“Bucky that sofa is not even going to fit your legs…” You inform him.
“We’ll just make a wall of pillows?” You offer.
“Are you sure?” His mind wanders to the night you were in his arms, straddling his lap.
He coughs to remind himself; not to let his mind wander astray.
You nod, at what you don’t know, it’s not like you both haven’t cuddled or been in each other’s physical space before. Road trips you both pretty much sat next to each other fell asleep listening to songs so why was this different?
“Is it cool if I shower first?” Bucky turns to the bathroom, “Oh fuck me.” He mutters.
“What?” You follow his line of vision.
What kind of hotel was this?
The wall between the bathroom and bedroom wasn’t opaque it was a glass, a very transparent glass. The door was made on frosted glass, but again you would be able to understand what was going on.
You gulp audibly.
Bucky opens the door to check if there is a curtain or towel to cover the pane.
The bathroom proves to be larger, inside, the toilet seat away from the view only the glass shower and bathtub can be perceived from the glass.
You peek from the glass as Bucky rests his hands on his hips as he looks around for a solution.
“Shower with swimsuits?” He offers an idea.
“Bucky I didn’t carry one…” You scratch the back of your neck, suddenly everything feels incredibly warm.
“How about we just shower while the other one faces away? Or lays in bed…” you counter.
It seems plausible, Bucky purses his lips, then nods.
“So um, you lay down, stretch your feet out and I’ll um, shower first then I’ll lay down…” He runs a hand through his hair and then over his stubble.
You nod, grabbing your phone and turning to the bed.
Bucky grabs his toiletries and powers through going to the very open bathroom. Maybe the hot water will fog up the glass?
You immediately text your best friend and Natasha about the one bed and very daunting bathroom situation but they just send stupid laughing emojis in response.
Some friends they are, the shower runs and from your angle on the bed you can’t see a thing apart from the ceiling of the bathroom, you sigh.
It would just be easier to admit to Bucky you have feelings for him. You can’t risk your friendship though.
Bucky sighs in content as the droplets hit his skin. The warm water taking away the stress of the day and tenseness in his shoulders. He watches the rivulets trail from his body to the anti skid flooring. One hand on the wall.
His mind briefly wonders what would it be like to have his ex here and then he dismisses the thought. Sharon and he were supposed to be a one off a distraction from his growing feelings for you.
Then she got clingy, demanding every waking minute of his to be hers to fill with herself and her own needs and wants.
Bucky sighs again, the suds of soap now turning clear. He grabs the towel, checking the glass sure enough it is fogged up by the heat.
He puts on his boxers and jeans as he exits and your voice catches in your throat as a lone rivulet makes its was down his neck then chest then abdomen, ending just over the taut band of muscles and you feel as though the world is in slow motion.
“Take a picture it will last longer.” Bucky teases bringing you out of your staring.
“I h-hope you didn’t use up all t-the hot water.” You stutter get up grabbing your set of things from your bag.
The outfit for tonight was a simple purple jumpsuit that brought out your curves, and chest. Long sleeves but very comfortable.
Bucky lays down, texting Sam and Steve finally about what was happening. They both offered him advice on avoiding the shared bed but then the picture of the couch he sent had them agree with your pillow wall idea.
As the shower runs he feels himself grow less confident in his plan to have you both pretending, he was so sure he’d slip up.
When you exit Bucky’s lips part the deep purple of the jumpsuit bringing out the colour of your skin and eyes. The neckline of the outfit was probably his favourite, it was low, and accentuated your chest as the sleeves were the ones that had slits on them.
It showed skin but in a way that was risqué but classy.
The fabric hugged the curve of your hips and Bucky wanted to pull you close to him just so he could feel your warmth.
“Take a picture it will last longer.” You tease him and he shakes his head, observing you do your make up. He’d seen it before the way your tongue would poke out in concentration as you picked which eyeshadow to use or if the colours were going well with what you were wearing.
You turn to him once you’re done,
“Can you see if these are even?” You sit next to him on the bed closing your eyes.
Bucky’s eyes are on your lips and not eyelids. He traces their outline with his gaze, appearing so soft and so inviting.
“Bucky? Is the eyeliner equal?” You open your eyes as he looks up at your confused expression.
“Yes, um w-was just ma-making sure they were equal…” He stammers out quickly getting up and to further aid drying his hair. He was growing it out again.
The two of you make it downstairs, Bucky’s arm slips around your waist before you enter. Pulling you close to his warmth. You smile up at him.
“You look beautiful.” He admits looking down at you with a smile that sends flutters through your stomach.
“You look quite handsome yourself.” You offer him an equally butterfly inducing smile.
Bucky knows his heart will break this weekend but if he gets to pretend to be yours then its worth it.
You look up at Bucky stealing a final glance before walking through the door. You suddenly realise that maybe, maybe basking in this pretend would at-least give you a taste of happiness, even if the magic would end come Monday morning.
As the two of you find your seating next to Rebecca, who also is elated at you being the secret girlfriend. The dinner begins to go by without a hitch.
Emotional words are said in the practice speeches and the love between Maya and her to be husband, Marcus; is felt through all the attendees, tying them all together.
Bucky has his arm around the back of your chair, as you all wait for dessert. He doesn’t realise it when he begins to trace soft patters along your mid back. You lean into his comforting touch, allowing him to continue.
When you look up at him, your breath hitches at how intently he looks at you. Those azure eyes taking in every bit of your own eyes.
“Oh come on, just kiss already.” Rebecca’s voice stops the patterns being drawn upon you.
“W-what?” You look at her in confusion.
“You both look like you want to tear into each other.” She rolls her eyes, “Just kiss we’re all adults. Well except the kids table in the corner but,” Rebecca shrugs.
Bucky leans in deciding to kiss your cheek just to shut his sister’s mouth. You then turn to face him just when his lips were to brush you cheek.
His soft, slightly chapped lips brush over yours, his eyes widen for a moment. Then he closes them, his hand cups your jaw. You feel that damned fluttering feeling again, as you kiss him back. Your palm resting on his chest. His heart thundering wildly against his chest.
The kiss lasts for a few moments, that feel as though time was slowed down, all too soon you pull away from him. Biting your own bottom lip and a deep blush creeping across your chest and neck.
“What did you just start dating?” Rebecca comments, “That looked like a middle schooler’s kiss.”
Bucky tries to make sense, you try to make sense as well. Because what the fuck, you both just kissed each other.
“We aren’t into PDA.” You defend with a sip of your drink to soothe the nerves.
Your hand rests on Bucky’s knee, a grounding action that the two of you needed.
Back, in the room; he begins to undo his shirt, he’s halfway done when he pauses.
You turn to face him, the make up from your face gone.
“Was, was the kiss okay?” He fidgets with the cufflink as he undoes it.
“I um, guess yeah? Why?” You bring your eyes back up to his,
“No, no, um Rebecca’s comment just well, what if we don’t appear that comfortable?”
“Do we practice kissing?” You wonder, god just dig a six feet deep hole and bury yourself in it.
“I, thats not, I’m not—,” He lets out a frustrated sigh, closing the space between you two.
Your ears begin a ringing at the way his cologne floods your senses.
Bucky’s warm hands cup your cheeks,
“I’m not, not trying to take advantage of this but um, maybe we could table kissing? Because I guess handholding and all of the other things we’ve done as, as best friends, so…”
“Yeah no um, yeah I get what you’re saying,” you agree.
“No kissing then.”
“Nope, no kissing.”
With the rule established you both wind down for the night the pillow wall is built and the covers are pulled over your frames.
Exhaustion tugs at your body but sleep seems to be at its wits end not wanting to arrive to you.
Bucky shifts around in bed, staring at the pillow wall. That should not have been the first kiss between the two of you.
His mind is running a mile a minute, he wonders if you’ve fallen asleep.
“Bucky, you awake?” Your soft whisper has him tug one pillow away.
“Hey,” His soft smile greets you with his hair tousled and eyes craving sleep.
“Hey,” you smile back, your eyes on the verge of sleep, a few strands of your hair curling around your forehead.
“Can’t sleep?” He wonders and you nod.
“You too?” You ask and he nods.
“Do you want to talk till we fall asleep?” You offer as a plan.
“Sounds like a plan.” Bucky’s heart feels warm.
It is quiet for a moment before Bucky decides to tell you about his promotion at work. It’s hardly been time at the firm but they recognise his potential.
You reach across the wall and hug him, Bucky grins and wraps his arms around you, relishing the moment.
“Thats great! I’m so proud of you!” You cheer him on, he grins. You both slowly pull away from the hug. Returning to your respective sides.
The conversation flows from there, about what his new responsibilities would be and how he would have to divide his time. Both sets of eyelids get heavy and Bucky dozes off mid conversation, you chuckle lightly. Brushing his hair back and then slumber find you as well. With your hand resting on his cheek.
It’s very warm for the cooler spring day that was predicted.
Bucky is usually feeling like a furnace but today he is exceptionally warm as well. Not that he is complaining but something about the warmth is inviting.
A soft whimper presents itself to Bucky and his eyes peel open. You’re pressed against flush him, his head was buried in the crook of your neck, an arm around your waist. Your arm resting above his own.
“Firefly…” He tries to coax you out of slumber.
“Five more minutes…” You mutter sleepily, shifting around till you face him and your head rests on his chest. How do you have a death grip on him to not let him escape he doesn’t understand.
“Firefly… we gotta get to breakfast…” Bucky manages to free his hand and brushes his thumb over your cheek bone.
Honestly he wouldn’t leave the bed if he woke up to you everyday.
“Shhh, the dough is resting.” You grumble, shifting closer.
“The dough?” Bucky grins amused.
“I’m the dough, must rest in the oven.” You complain again.
“I thought you’re my Firefly.” Oh he’s going to ask you about this.
“I can be two things.” You pull away looking at him.
Bucky looks at you, waiting for the sleepiness to leave you.
“Bucky?” You ask, then look down at your intertwined bodies, well you clinging onto him.
“Firefly, good morning.” He chuckles and then you move away from him all too soon.
“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?!” You sit up on your side, face hidden in your hands.
“Because the dough needed to rest.” He says matter of factly
“What dough?” You question, then it hits you the drunken analogy you had come up with your best friend and Nat,
“Oh that no, um, i’m, i’m going to the bathroom.”
You grab your phone and things as quickly as possible, Bucky remains laying in bed you know he’s still laughing, the endearment is clear in his demeanour but you have half a mind you’re going to be called dough from now on till you spill the reason.
Me: i sleepily blabbed to him about resting the dough.
Best Friend: you know this is why I too up night classes here, to stay awake for the fresh batch of well rested dough stories.
Nat: 🤣🤣 So how was the resting of the dough on the very hot oven?
Me: i hate you both. It was a drunken analogy about Bucky being warm.
Best Friend: that made you want to be dough resting in the oven.
Nat: so when will you get to baking? Now that you have rested.
Best Friend: oh I think very soon, Bucky’s probably stiffly up to the right temperature.
Me: i will smack you both. stop it.
You groan silently. Keeping your phone on the counter. Useless, your friends are useless comedians at your expense.
Breakfast passes by in the hotel as an uneventful affair, Bucky and you decided that meal times without family intervention would be on best friend mode so the conversation was mutual topics and trying to see if you could squeeze in a marathon of harry potter movies to commemorate the time you did the same in college a year ago.
The ceremony is at five which gives you a few hours to kill before absolutely needing to get ready.
“Do you think we should ask your mum or Maya if she needs any help? It just feels weird being just a guest…”
Bucky’s hair is falling upon his forehead when he looks up at you. Unthinkingly you reach over to help move it, and for a moment he wants to just have your fingertips run through his hair as he lays next to you.
“I, yes, we should.” He wonders if you can hear his heart beating almost as if it will leap out of his chest.
And you both find yourselves barely making it in time to get changed for the ceremony. Bucky takes over ironing duty since he knows your absolutely need to wash your hair before an event otherwise you don’t feel yourself.
In the nick of time you make it, Bucky eternally grateful you had his cufflinks set up and he helps you zip up the dress.
You both are panting by the time you reach the attached ballroom. With just two minutes till the bridal march. The wedding planner shoos you both off with a glare as if Bucky and you never helped set the decor because five people of her team fell ill.
“Shouldn’t have fixed that centrepiece.” You grumble as Bucky snickers before you settle into the seats.
“Firefly, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have left it unfixed.” He whispers leaning in,
“I would.” You whisper back.
“You’re too nice.”
“I’ll break it. Let the reception begin.” You warn him.
He wraps his arm around your shoulder bringing you close.
“I think the dough needs some rest.” He teases.
“James.” You warn, the redness of your cheeks only urging him onward.
“James—,” Your voice caught in your throat at his proximity. He licks his lips, eyes on your soft ones. You’re wearing that red lipstick from the brand you frequently stayed up at night to order from, and he could lie and say the shade does nothing for you because your lips seem so inviting the shade of red adding to your allure.
If you ask him for his heart he’d give it to you right there, he’d get on his knees and beg you to have it.
The bridal march breaks his reverie and both of you stand up with the crowd as Maya walks down the aisle with her father, looking every bit of an angel in her wedding gown.
When you look at her fiancé, your heart lurches, he’s crying tears of joy watching her close the final bit of distance between them and their forever.
As her father gives her hand in her to be husband, the intimate look of hidden smiles they share almost has you look away.
Bucky watches the ceremony play out, Maya and Marcus have to say their vows now and he knows they were best friends before Maya admitted her feelings and they have been together four years before they got engaged.
“I believe the couple have prepared their own vows.” The minister gestures and Marcus’ best man hands him his folded papers.
“Maya, I met you in high school and you were instantly my best friend.” Marcus begins.
“We made a list of promises of what we would do and a set of friendship rules, you may not remember but I still have those pieces of decorated cardboard.”
Maya laughs, recalling the memory.
You look up at Bucky, recalling the moment from where you both turned into each other’s best friends.
“The first time as best friends when we had an argument was over where would we go to for college, because in all honesty you and I can only function if we’re close enough to share our one braincell.”
Their entire bridal party laughs at the joke.
You recall the time you were paired with him to play Charades and the two of you sucked so horribly that the entire group banned the game.
“That day I was so angry but when I went back home I saw those cardboards. I knew college could be done anywhere but my best friend? I couldn’t leave her. That is the best damn decision, I made, well that and proposing to you and today standing in front of you, vowing to be by your side, even when you hate me leaving my clothes scattered on the floor, loving you even when I may be annoyed at you for not being able to pick a place for dinner,”
Maya lightly swats him, then wipes a tear.
You stare at Bucky catching the smile on his face, you wonder what he thinks about, then you feel him about to look at you so you look ahead.
“To cherish you even when things around us may push and shove us to not remember what we’re together for, to nourish and nurture our love, our life,
to work on myself to be the best I can be for you. To support you in everything you need me to support you, to catch you if you stumble, to be held by you if I tumble. I vow to be your best friend, love and husband as long as time is ours.” Marcus gazes lovingly at his bride.
Bucky tears his eyes away when he hears your sniffle. You wipe your tears with the back of your hand. His hand shifts to wipe your tears and to hold you closer. Press his lips to your temple in promise.
“Marcus, how am I supposed to speak now?” Maya complains with a chuckle that masks a small sob.
Her groom shrugs innocently making all the teary eyed faces laugh.
“My Marcus, the day you entered my life, was the most ordinary day I thought but little did I know your doodle of a covalent bond in my notebook would be setting up the reaction for an extraordinary life ahead where I get to stand at the altar with you.” Maya looks up at him, Marcus smiles at her, eyes getting watery.
“When I admitted my feelings to you, I was scared to lose you. So scared that I was going to hold my silence. Then you brought those damn sliders from the place we went to as best friends and I knew I had to tell you how much more love my heart held for you.”
Buck looks down at you, every memory with you playing in his mind, taking in Maya’s words and replacing them with moments he has with his Firefly.
“I vow to not nag you for your clothes strewn across the floor.”
Bucky adores you as you laugh. Then looks back at the bride and groom.
“I vow to be brave when you need me to for myself and for you. I vow to let my fears show so you can be brave for me and yourself. I vow to cherish you for who you are and who you become. To nourish and nurture our love, our life. To work on myself for being the one you need through any stage of life we are at; to be your best friend, love and wife as long as time is ours.”
You gaze up at Bucky when his hand moves in your periphery, you catch the redness of his cheeks, he cried as well. Your hands ache to offer comfort.
Bucky gazes at you, both of your visions blurry from the tears.
“Beautiful words, now I ask you, Marcus Finnegan, do you take Maya Barnes as your lawfully wedded wife?” The minister questions Marcus.
He places the wedding band on her finger.
Bucky grasps your hand in his, fingers curling around the space between yours. You look from the half intertwined hands to Bucky questioningly.
He isn’t going to let you go, no.
If he had gotten to you first that night, maybe if he was brave enough he could have prevented the heartbreak.
“Now I ask you, Maya Barnes, do you take Marcus Finnegan as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister questions Maya.
She places the wedding band on his finger.
You curl your fingers around his hand, letting tears flow down your cheeks. You hope with all your heart you’re interpreting his gesture correctly. If only you had gotten to him first that night.
“I present to you family and friends, by the power vested in me, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes-Finnegan. You may now kiss the bride.”
The cheers and clapping around the ballroom die down into a dull buzz, Bucky cups your cheek with his left hand, pulling your lips onto his own. The kiss filled with a longing and hunger that you both carried for months. Salt mixes with the taste of his lips. Fears slowly let gone off as you grasp his left hand that rests upon your cheek.
When the two of you pull away for air, hidden by everyone standing to keep clapping for the newly weds allowing you both to be tucked away in your little corner.
“Why didn’t we say anything?” Bucky laughs through the tears.
“I was scared to lose you.” You rest your forehead against his, Bucky wipes your tears as you wipe away his own.
“Firefly, I’m never letting you go. Should have walked upto you and that fucker.” He finally admits, confessing his entire plan to you.
“I kept thinking of doing the same when you were with her, showed up with your favourite flowers too. Have it preserved back home…”
“I’ve kept it preserved too.” Bucky admits, joy ceases his heart at your elation.
Your lips meet again, this time with lesser longing than before but the need to have each other ever present. Bucky’s lips peppered kisses all over your face, drawing out laughter from you.
Each mirthful moment tucked away for him to keep.
Your head resting on his chest as his arms around your waist, the slow notes of the song cascade around the two of you, Bucky had you on the dance floor from the first song, dinner left for later.
You tilt your head back looking up at him with so much adoration.
“Waited so long to have you look at me this way.” He admits.
“Always looked at you this way when you weren’t looking.” You confess.
“Never looking away from your gorgeous eyes, Firefly.” He promises, his lips ghost over yours, as you rise on your tip toes even with heels to kiss your Bucky.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ minors DNI, reference to mental illness, reference to abusive relationships, violence, gore, praise, p in v sex, protected sex, hand job, blow job, slight fingering.
𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐲 @firefly-graphics
The sound of my fists meeting the worn canvas of the bag echoed as I trained. Being a SHIELD agent was never easy, romance never having place in this sort of job. But not just romantic love, any sort of love in general.
The training doors creaked, the soft padding towards me as I refocused my attention. But I knew why he was here. But that didn’t mean I had to welcome him with open arms.
“Here to give me a ‘I’m sorry for your loss speech’?” I huffed, kicking the bag with a renewed vigor.
He remained silent, his piercing even though I refused to meet them.
“I’d think you wouldn’t want to hear anything I have to say,” Bucky responded. My eyes flittered to him for a fraction of a second. A dark Henley covered his muscular torso while a matching pair of pants fitted his legs, his arms folded across that wide chest of his. He held a tablet in one hand, no doubt my vitals.
“Didn’t think you could use one old man,” I scoffed, motioning to the tablet, returning my attention to the bag. Knuckles sore and chest heaving, I closed my eyes- his last few moments replaying in my head.
I saw a tip to scope the old library, a sort of threat. I hadn’t been out in ages, well without Sam or Bucky but I couldn’t wait for them.
I treaded through the shelves, my hair tucked in a baseball hat and my fists in my jacket pockets. There were no signs of disturbances and yet, a disturbance was supposedly there.
Peering loosely at the shelves, I heard a familiar laugh, my ego just stinging a bit more as I turned. It had been almost two years but who would ever forget your best friend?
Or more accurately, your best friend and your ex-boyfriend.
He grinned at her, his eyes closing as he kissed her. I exhaled quietly, my former friend and lover shoulder to shoulder as their engagement bands twinkled. He’d never loved me; I’d come to realise. I remembered our last argument- well more so confrontation as both defended why they snuck behind my back.
It didn’t matter now, but it stung then, despite their words replaying so often.
Jaw clenching, I looked away, my eyes catching on a smear of red paint across the dark shelves. An impending dread filled me, my fingers wrapping around the holster of my gun. The hushed whispers of readers were drowned by the blaring of blood in my ears as I followed the red paint trail.
It was a peculiar shade- the paint. Not to bright but quite dark, somewhat like blood.
Gritting my teeth, I punched with a renewed vigor, sweating pouring into my eyes.
I heard her laugh- some joke he made, but I was far too concerned with the way the trail began to dwindle. Gentle hues of gold light illuminated the otherwise dim library, the mellow sounds of hushed whispers contrasting gently with the pouring of the rain outside. The glass ceiling showed the cloudy moon, nightfall now settling in.
Gun pointed outwards, they laughed again, but I heard the faint beeping.
“I’m not going to apologise for what I did,” Bucky spat, his hand tightening on the tablet.
I punched harder, throwing a kick or two into the mix.
“Here to gloat then? Scold me for not waiting?” I jeered as I gasped.
My eyes narrowed at the mass of red paint followed by the sharp metallic scent and soft beeping that emanated from the shelf. Cursing, I wondered how long I’d have gone without realizing it was blood.
“You weren’t supposed to be back on the field,” Bucky hissed, “even your vitals show-,”
“Then what use am I to this team?” I stared at him, “You don’t let me on the field, I don’t get to work in the lab, I don’t get to train. Tell me, how does that make me a valuable member of this team?”
He cursed silently.
Tucking my gun in the waist of my pants, I grabbed the books and began to toss them off the shelf. My vision began to spot in rhythm with my heart. A loud roar followed by a kick to my side sent me sprawling as the threat found me.
“I did what was right,” he insisted, “I saved your life.”
Screams filled the library, everyone racing to the exit. Racing to my feet, I grabbed the knife under my sleeve and got to work. Soon the wooden floors were covered in blood, but as my attacker fell, another took their place.
People wailed in protest, the doors refusing to open.
“I didn’t ask you to save me,” I retorted, returning my attention to the bag.
A chill began to settle in the base of my spine, my mind moving faster than I could think. Grunts of pain echoed through the library, almost masking the sound of fright by the civilians.
I was outnumbered. But the sound of glass shattering, followed by the sprinkle of rain against my face made my chest pound.
Sam dove into the library, throwing his shield at the door. Bucky approached me, snapping the neck of the attacker before me.
“Now is not the time Bucky,” I growled, turning my attention back to the beeping.
Sam fought off the rest of the ambush, Bucky’s baby blues peering at me.
“Go help him, I can do this,” I shouted over the screaming and gunshots.
“There’s a reason you weren’t allowed on the field,” he said, “you can’t just do what you want.”
I aimed another punch at the bag.
“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky gritted, his fingers wrapping around my arm. Turning to him, my teeth grinded as I shoved him against the punching bag.
A wave of relief washed over me as I heard the creaking of the door. Yanking more books from the shelf, I finally found the explosive. I pulled apart the cover, searching for the detonator- something- anything to disarm it. There were no wires, no timer, no anything. I turned to him; his attention already glued to me.
“Just get them out,” I cried over the jumble of disharmony.
“No, I’m not leaving your side,” he insisted.
“Just help them,” I hissed, “I can do this.”
Bucky twisted, shoving me against the punching bag- his fingers around my throat. The tablet clattered to the concrete floor, a soft oof exhaling from his lips as I kicked him away.
“You should have listened to me,” I hissed, an impending sense of dread filling me. I aimed another kick at his head, but he blocked me easily.
“And watch you die?” Bucky grabbed me; my back pressed against his front. Hands wrapped around my body- trapping my arms- I groaned. Hooking his foot with mine, I brought us crashing to the hard floor.
I didn’t wait to see if he’d left, but I knew I had to do something. Wetting my lips slightly, I touched the bomb slightly, the beeping speeding up. I found the wires, the assortment staring right back at me. Suppressing a breath, I snapped the blue wire, the beeping coming to a halt.
I turned to face Bucky, my eyes briefly catching my former best friend and lover. My name began to form on his lips, but I never saw it finish as my body went weightless, the scent of sweat and soap clogging my senses. Body wrapped by his, we plunged into the cold of the river, the deafening bang of the bomb rattling my teeth even as Bucky held me underwater.
“That’s not your choice to make,” I growled, kicking at him.
Grabbing my ankle, he flipped my body, my vision spotting as he pinned me to the rough ground beneath us. His blue eyes were tinged red, his jaw clenching as he pressed his toned body onto mine.
“I’m not going to watch you die,” he insisted, “you are reckless and have done nothing but put yourself at death’s door. Tonight, would not have happened if you just stayed put.”
His breath smelt of cheap liquor, his eyes trained on me the way a predator intimidates his prey.
“If I had to pick between watching two people who hurt you die, or you die- I would pick them every fucking time,” Bucky growled.
“You could have saved them, you could-,”
“Stop,” he ordered, his grip tightening around my pinned arms.
Bucky leaned down to my face, his eyes flittering to my lips.
“We could have saved them,” I insisted, hearing the waver in my voice.
A loose tear trailed down my cheek, my vision now blurring with tears. Bucky had never seen me cry, no one in SHIELD had. SHIELD was my home since I could remember. I was okay, I don’t know why the sudden prevention from me performing in the field became an issue.
“There was nothing wrong with me,” I hardened my eyes as I met his fiery gaze, “Nothing has been wrong with me for months. Its just you that’s become worried about me. What are you afraid of? Losing your only pal?”
I regretted it instantly, his eyes darkening and narrowing at my taunt. Bucky leaned impossibly closer, his nose brushing mine. My throat dried, his lips mere centimeters from mine. A flutter erupted in my stomach, amongst the pain and urge to scream. I was certain he could feel my heartbeat if not hear it.
“The only reason that they’re dead is because of you,” he hissed, his eyes unforgiving, “that tip was for Sam and I. You’re not allowed on the field because you don’t give a shit about yourself, and you don’t mind hurting everyone just so that you stop hurting.”
A pressure formed in the base of my throat, my brain struggling to function.
“I love you,” Bucky growled, his eyes dark, “I’ve loved you for months now. You don’t care about me, fine. You don’t love anymore, fine. But I’m not going to pretend I don’t care about you or watch you throw yourself into danger all because you can’t see past what two people said.”
I stared at his plush lips, my heart reeling at his confession. Bucky sat up, his weight pinning me to the cold floor. Standing, he looked down at me, his jaw tensing while his hands curled into fists.
“You can hate me all you want, but you’re not fit to be on that field and tonight proved it,” he hissed, “do whatever the fuck you want Y/L/N, I’m done trying.”
Bucky kicked the tablet towards me, my jaw clenching as I stared at my diagnosis. He gave me one last cold stare before turning on his heels and slamming the doors behind him.
I thumbed the last of the frosting from the cupcake, licking the sweet chocolate off my finger. It had been almost a year since I’d left SHIELD, and well I suppose you could say my life’s been better.
The soft aroma of jasmine perfumed the air, the sound of my kettle whistling interrupting the morning silence. That morning after Bucky and I’d spoken, I left. I didn’t bother with any of my things. Didn’t bother to say goodbye. My pride was hurt, but my heart ached even more.
It was difficult to accept that I’d become unwell. But I’d been seeing a psychiatrist for almost ten months so maybe that was good.
Blowing the tea gently, my eyes flittered over the papers. Sam and Bucky seemed to almost always be in the headlines- doing good.
I missed them. I missed my family.
It was difficult leaving the only home I knew, but Bucky had been right.
I think I missed him the most. I suppose even under all my layers of hate and anger, I longed for him.
Finishing my tea, I dropped the cup in the sink, grabbing my coat and mittens. I stepped outside my flat, my eyes shutting for the briefest second. Tucking my hands in my coat, I walked the streets of London.
My hand grazed the brass doorknob, jaw clenching as my door swayed gently. I’d been out for most of the day, running errands, buying books, sipping coffee, sampling pastries- the works. Sighing, I opened my door, the room dark. Turning the light on, I set my bags on the counter, my back to the kitchen island.
“How’d you find me?” I asked gently, my heart thundering with a mixture of panic and excitement.
“I know the guy who owns these flats,” Sam grinned. I turned to face him, a small smile forming on my face. My eyes searched for another person, but it seemed like Sam was here alone. Walking towards him, he gave me one of the warmest bear hugs I’d had in a while. Pulling away, I motioned towards the groceries.
“Let me make you dinner?”
Sam sat on the accent chair; disappointment written on his face.
“What do you mean you can’t come back?” he asked for the millionth time.
“You were one of the best scientists there,” he said, “and you were great on the field too, but we need your skills.”
“What about the others in the lab?” I asked, genuinely curious, “can’t they help?”
Sam shook his head, “No one has much experience as you do with like monster and aliens and stuff. You’re practically an avenger man.”
I almost smiled.
“Look, you’re still technically a SHIELD agent,” Sam continued, “they can still call on you since you left. Besides, it’s not the same with you gone.”
How’s he doing? Has he moved on with someone else?
I mentally cleared the thought from my head. Exhaling slightly, I stared at Sam. He grinned, causing me to roll my eyes.
“When do we leave?” I grumbled.
“Right now,” he said as he stood.
I stood abruptly, motioning to my flat, “What about my flat? Or my stuff?”
He stuffed the remainder of the croissant in his mouth.
“They have your stuff.”
I nodded, my nerves overcoming me. It wasn’t just the anticipation of seeing him, it was the job to.
I could do this, I’m better, I’m more fit, I’m more aware, I can do this.
Maria stood at the entrance; her hands folded but a smile covering her face.
“Welcome back Agent,” she nodded, handing me a file.
We wasted no time, heading to the lab straight away. Well, more like I forced her to take me to the lab. I did not want to see anyone.
The sharp scent of antiseptic filled the air, the whirring of machinery in the background. It was a bit more complex than expected but I got the job done. A few new faces gathered behind the glass screen while I worked, constantly trying to keep calm.
It had been almost seven hours now, the tests and trial finishing up.
I let out a sharp exhale, the back of my neck cramping. Looking up, I spotted Sam waving to me. I made sure one of the interns delivered the report to Maria while Sam motioned to someone.
“I know there’s someone excited to see you again,” he grinned. My heart pounded with anticipation, my head becoming foggy with excitement.
My heart jittered to a stop, a face I barely remembered greeting me. I tried my best to remember but luckily Sam noticed I was tired. He led me back to the quinjet, my eyes focused ahead. As I ascended the jet, I looked at him.
“Where’s Bucky?” I finally asked, my heart thundering as I awaited his response.
“Probably out with the girl he’s been seeing,” Sam responded.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, nodding. Hugging Sam goodbye and promising to visit, I felt a tiny stab of pain in the base of my heart.
I regretted everything I’d said and the way I left that night.
I remembered crying the minute he left the training room. He was wrong in a way, but he didn’t deserve the way I treated him. Bucky’s confession sat heavily in my heart- I hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.
But that was in the past, and he moved on and I am too.
The ride back to London was uneventful to say the least. I don’t even know if I was allowed to leave, Sam just helped me.
Sighing, the soft morning sun glistened against the dew drops that covered the flower petals. Unlocking the door to my flat, I exhaled heavily, locking the door straight away.
“I didn’t know you liked waffles,” Bucky murmured, my keys slipping from my grip.
I faced him, my eyes searching his face- for what I don’t know. He wore a black t-shirt, matching his pants obviously. His jacket was slung on my table, two steaming cups sitting on coasters. An array of berries and waffles laid messily but sweetly on tablemats, but my attention was to him.
“I prefer the ones with blueberries,” I responded, keeping my voice as monotone as possible.
He stood, baby blues drinking in my appearance. I hadn’t changed much since we last saw each other. Maybe I’d gained some weight and wore my glasses all the time instead of contacts. And maybe I let my hair grow. But why did that matter? I’d hurt him. And he’s happy now.
“How did you find me?” I asked, something fiery igniting within me.
Bucky shrugged, his eyes not leaving me. He walked towards me, myself stepping back. My back met the cool surface of the door as he stood before me. He smelt of soap, coffee and something distinctly him.
“Why’d you leave?” Bucky croaked, his body mere inches from mine.
I was unable to meet his gaze, and yet I forced myself any way.
“Y/N,” he sighed, a finger hooking under my chin. Sparks shot from where he touched me, my eyes flittering from his to his lips. “I never meant to hurt you,” he continued, “I just-,”
“I love you,” I blurted, my eyes tearing up.
He fell silent, his eyebrows scrunching together.
I swallowed hard; his hand that held my face now fallen to his side.
“You were right,” I exhaled shakily, “I wasn’t well. I’d been reckless and I’d been awful to you. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve any of it.”
“I guess I was afraid I’d lost you too that night,” I stared at him, “I know it was all my fault, and- and I’ve been trying to get better. I just- I was so angry, with everything and everyone. You were right, I was awful, and I didn’t care. I’m so incredibly sorry and it probably doesn’t mean anything now, but I-,”
His lips were pressed on mine before I could finish my sentence. One hand cupping my face, he pulled away slowly, stroking away the tears that were streaming down my face.
“Say it again,” he murmured, his eyes searching mine.
I swallowed my fear.
“I love you Bucky,” I whispered.
He exhaled shakily, his eyes red.
“I’m sorry too,” he said, “I shouldn’t have lied to you, or- or kept you from doing what you love.”
I stared at him.
“I love you,” he continued, “I missed you so much.”
As the words left his mouth, he pressed his lips to mine in what I could only describe as the most passionate kiss I’d ever experienced. Hands snaking up his back, he licked his way into my mouth, a soft moan being drowned in the endless kisses.
Pulling away, my chest heaved, his eyes searching for what he did wrong. Hand resting on his chest, I panted, catching my breath.
“Sam,” I inhaled, “Sam mentioned that you were seeing someone, I-,”
Bucky hooked his hands under my thighs, lifting me against the door as I squealed.
“The only girl I want to be seeing right now is you,” he looked down, “that is if you do me the honour of letting me be your boyfriend.”
It was my turn to kiss him, my hands fisting his hair as he moaned into my mouth. It was like a surge of energy somehow made its way through my body. It was an immeasurable quantum that made my insides muddled and alive all at once.
Bucky tightened his grip on me, walking towards my bedroom. I hadn’t any doubt that he searched the flat before I got here, but all I could think about was the way his tongue traced mine perfectly.
Laying me on the bed, I whimpered in protest as he pulled away. Bucky grinned, tearing his shirt off, his well-defined torso more muscular than I remembered. His hands reached for my pants, and he tore it in two as I yelped. Reaching for me, he removed my hoodie and stared hungrily at my matching set.
Eyes fixated on his, I unzipped his pants slowly, pushing it down his legs. I stood before him; his eyes glued to mine as he devoured my surprised yelp with a searing kiss. Picking me up once more, he dropped me on the bed, his body between my thighs.
“Can I take these off?” he asked gently, motioning to my bra.
I sat up, unclasping and tossing my bra to some part of my room. My entire body felt overly hot as Bucky stared at me, his baby blues hidden in the sea of lust.
“You’re beautiful Doll,” he exhaled.
His hands fondled my breasts while I pulled him down for a kiss. Bucky trailed a series of love bites down the column of my throat, biting a sensitive spot right at the base of my neck. His warm tongue laved over my peaked nipples, swirling and suckling harshly.
It had been years but being with Bucky Barnes was not something that could be compared.
I cried out for him, my hands pulling him up so I could kiss him. He peered up at me, his body hovering over mine.
Flipping him onto his back, he stared at me in shock as I straddled him. I pressed a bruising kiss to his lips, his groans swallowed. Grinding my hips slowly against him, I felt his hard cock imprinted at the side of my thigh.
I swallowed nervously. He was not my first lover, but he was no doubt big.
Kissing down his neck, I sucked bruises into his skin as I trailed my way to his boxers. Bucky’s skin was beyond warm and soft beneath me. He peered at me as I kissed the V-line of his abs.
“Doll what are you-,”
“I want a taste,” I exhaled, pulling his boxers down.
Tinged red and head leaking with precum, his cock hit the base of his tummy as I flung his boxers off. He was huge, and so impossibly thick. Sinking lower down the bed, I pressed kisses between his thighs before licking the precum off his tip.
“Gods,” he moaned, his flesh hand fisting my hair into a ponytail.
Trailing kisses down the underside of his cock, I felt his vein throb at my touch, his chest heaving as I reached his balls.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” Bucky choked out, his metal arm grappling with the bed frame as I licked back up his cock.
He was so responsive, his soft groans filling the air. Suckling his head, I swallowed the length of him, and he moaned. Bucky’s grip tightened on my hair as I bobbed my head up and down, gagging as I pleasured him.
“That’s it,” he crooned, “good fucking girl.”
Oh Gods. My panties clung to me, his praise going straight to my cunt.
Gagging around his cock, my eyes began to water, his hand pushing me down further. Even as I gagged, I couldn’t take the length of him. I pumped the rest of him with one hand while I fondled his balls with the other, sucking his cock with everything I had.
“Look at you huh,” he moaned, “Oh Gods.”
Bucky twitched inside me, his eyes rolling back as his legs shook from pleasure. Shouting loudly, he pushed my head down the length of his cock, releasing his cum down my throat. Pulling off his length, I jerked him off as he kept cumming, swallowing what he gave me. Groaning beneath me, I caught my breath as I squeezed the base of his cock.
Eyes lidded and chest heaving, he stared at me, his throat bobbing as I licked the cum that coated the lower portion of my face.
“C’mere Doll,” Bucky moaned. Snaking up to him, he kissed me languidly, not even caring for the taste of himself. Pushing me up his body, I sat on his abs, my cunt slick as I sat on his abs.
“M’gonna ride your abs Sergeant,” I moaned, the hard ridges of his muscles sending tingles up my spine.
Nodding breathlessly, he grabbed my underwear and tore it straight off my body. Frowning slightly, he chuckled.
“I’ll buy you a new pair Doll,” he smiled, “I’ll buy you all the pairs you want.”
I nodded, my cunt already rocking on his abs.
It was euphoric, my own personal opiate. The hard ridges off his abs caught all the sensitive parts of my cunt just right as I rode my lover.
“My pretty girl,” Bucky exhaled, his metal arm resting on my waist as I rode him, “doing so good for me baby.”
I mewled under his praise, my toes curling as his flesh hand returned to fondle my breasts. My hips were rocking at their own tempo, his praise and touches sending me into overdrive. Planting my hands on his chest, I grinded down- his face strained with excitement.
“Bucky,” I moaned, “m’gonna cum.”
“Cum for me Doll,” he groaned, placing both hands on my hips as I felt my thighs begin to burn.
Moaning lewdly as my head fell back, I felt the thin cord that tethered me between pleasure and euphoria snap as I reached my climax- cumming on his abs. Bucky helped me ride out my orgasm before pulling my breathless face down for a kiss.
We moaned in unison, our hands tangling as I came down from my high. I felt his thick cock brushing against my thigh and I slid down his body.
Bucky stared at me while I stared at the mess I’d made on his abs. Taking two fingers, he drew a long line and sucked gently. My face felt hot as he moaned. A surge of boldness overcame me as I cleaned my mess from his abs, his jaw slack as he watched me.
“Gods who decided to make me the luckiest guy in the world huh?” he groaned as he smiled at me.
Flipping me on my back, he stared at me, his chest heaving and his eyes wide with a mixture of love and lust.
“I’ve waited for this for so long,” he confessed, “I love you, Doll.”
“I love you too Bucky, thank you.”
“Forgiving me, I really-,”
He silenced me with a kiss, his lips less forceful and more loving. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled away, his lips red and swollen. His flesh hand reached between my legs, and I gasped. Fingers circling my clit, I stared at him, eyes rolling back as he slipped them into my hole.
“I need to stretch you out Doll,” he exhaled, eyes closing as he fingered me, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take it,” I moaned as he curled his fingers in me.
“Please Bucky, I need you,” I mewled, my eyes beginning to crisscross.
Cursing, he pulled his fingers out, sucking on them languidly.
“You taste like heaven,” he sighed.
Heart thundering in my chest, I opened the draw of my bedside table and pulled out a condom.
“I’m not on-,”
“You don’t need to explain Doll,” he smiled as he tore open the packet.
Bucky rolled the thin layer onto his cock, positioning himself at my entrance. Holding me close, a serious expression crossed his face.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asked softly, his pupils consuming his iris.
“I am Bucky,” I moaned softly, nudging my hips to his cock.
The bulbous head of his cock stretched my cunt wider than it ever had been, my eyes welling shut. Inch by inch he slowly eased himself into me. But every time I thought he ended, it seemed like he was as continuous as time. Finally, fully inside me, I wrapped my legs around him, the sting of the stretch shutting my eyes.
His thumb brushed across a tear that formed.
“You okay Doll?”
I nodded, exhaling shakily.
“You can move Bucky.”
His hips rocked slowly; a stab of pain followed by a stream of pleasure filling me.
“Faster Bucky,” I groaned, my legs tightening around him.
“I’m trying to be a gentleman,” he moaned, his eyes shut with pleasure, “I promised I wouldn’t fuck you on our first time.”
“I don’t care,” I mewled, “Just fuck me please.”
Without a second word, his hips snapped into mine, stealing my breath as the length of him massaged my insides. I was soaring in seconds.
“So good, so good for me,” he grunted, his lips attacking my neck once more.
Not a single coherent thought crossed my mind while all I could think of was the way his cock moved within me. The way his head grazed and kissed that special spot within me had me crying his name.
“Fuck Fuck Fuck,” I screamed, his hips thrusting into me at an unbelievable speed.
Grabbing his face, I kissed him, but there was nothing loving about it. It was all tongue and teeth- animalistic and wild.
“I love you ohmygods I love you so much,” I babbled as he fucked me.
We would make love later, we’d both needed this for far too long. Bucky was pushing us up the bed, my hands gripping his back. I couldn’t even tell him how much I loved him from the pleasure he gave me.
A small thread of pleasure began to strengthen, the cord becoming tighter.
“Bucky, I’m close,” I moaned, my body tensing.
His flesh hand reached between our bodies as he began to rub tight circles on my clit. I couldn’t figure where he ended, and I began. The cord began to tighten, and his fingers rolled the swollen nub between his fingers.
“Let go Doll, I got you,” he cried, his cock twitching inside me.
Screaming his name, I came, the cord snapping. It was as if a tidal wave crashed, waves and waves of pleasure consuming my body as I cried and spasmed around him. Thrusting faster, my vision began to go white as I felt another wave of pleasure wrack my body. He cried my name, cumming with one last thrust.
Collapsing on my chest, we heaved in unison. I couldn’t form a proper sentence, my voice hoarse and my brain fried. Sitting up, his face sweaty and blotchy, Bucky kissed me gently.
Summary: You end up getting hurt while out in the field questioning a suspect. Thankfully, Detective Barnes is there to help.
Word Count: ~600
Warning(s): crime show level of violence / gun violence / mentions of a near-death experience / injuries + including mild description of injuries / blood / hurt+comfort
Prompt: patching up a wound + at a crime scene
a/n: This is a submission for @real-jane ‘s healing hands writing challenge! Congratulations on the milestone! 🥳 This drabble was inspired by the previous fic I wrote Conflict of Interest , this is placed around a year or so before the events of that fic happen. However, this is a stand-alone drabble, so you don’t need to read the mentioned fic to understand anything, but if you liked the dynamic here, I recommend reading it! 🥰 Thank you for reading! ❤️
“ Watch your step.” Detective Barnes had an arm wrapped around your waist, helping you maneuver through a crowd of officers. You were heading over to the back of an ambulance, a bit too shaken to walk on your own. As soon as you sat on the edge of it, his hands inspected the wound on your right shoulder. You held in any protests as the burning sensation worsened.
“ So much for my favorite coat.” You took it off, grumbling at the sight of the tear in it.
“ That’s what you’re worried about?” There was a smile of disbelief on his face.
The blouse you were wearing was expectedly torn as well. He sent you a sympathetic look when he cut through it to get to your wound. You couldn’t help the tiny gasp that escaped when you laid eyes on it. You finally realized why it felt like it was on fire. A bullet grazed your shoulder, removing a bit of the top layer of skin. The shades of red and pink across the wound assured you it would leave a scar.
“ I promise it looks worse than it actually is,” he held your arm up gently,” This might hurt a little, so hold onto me if you’d like,” his tone was so sincere it surprised you. You hadn’t known him for long, so you hesitated to accept the comfort you needed. Nevertheless, you appreciated the gesture.
He cleaned your wound meticulously, his eyes narrowing in concentration. You bit the inside of your cheek, stopping yourself from wincing. The sudden closeness had you fiddling with the loose threads of your coat that laid across your lap. Your eyes wandered over to his hands that were wrapping a bandage around your arm. This brought your attention to a cut on his index finger. You looked over at the medical kit beside you, searching for a bandaid.
Without thinking, you took a hold of his right hand and placed it on your lap, wiping the blood around his cut with a small gauze pad. You felt his gaze on you as you wrapped the bandaid around his finger.
“ You know I was the one patching you up, right?”
“ Is that your way of thanking me, detective?”
A soft chuckle escaped his lips,“ Thank you,” he paused, his smile fading,” I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you come. You got hurt because of me.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, putting the medical supplies back in their case. You placed your hand on his wrist, grabbing his attention.
“ You’re not putting this on yourself. The suspect said he would have legal representation present, so I chose to come. If it weren’t for you, I might not be here right now. So please don’t apologize for saving my life.” You recalled the way the suspect drew his gun to shoot you, a memory you knew would haunt you for a while. If it weren’t for Detective Barnes reacting quickly, pulling you towards him and out of the line of fire, the bullet would’ve done more than just graze you.
“ I know, but I should’ve checked for any weapons in the househ-” You cut him off with a stern look, reminding him of who he was trying to argue with. He let it go, realizing he was disputing with one of the best prosecutors in New York.
“ Although, maybe you could do me a little favor and let Prosecutor Romanoff know what happened here today,” you requested with a playful tone. He blew out a breath, shaking his head, an amused expression overtaking his features. “ No way. She’s your best friend, she’ll go easy on you when you tell her. She’ll kill me once you do.” You shared a laugh at that, the mood becoming lighter.
He finished patching up your wound, the pain diminishing slightly. He held out his hand, helping you off of the ambulance,“ Now, how about I go arrest the bastard so you can take him to court?” You smirked,“ I like the sound of that.”
summary: you have met this man once in your life, at a bar after you passed out. and the second time you meet him it definitely is less pleasant. thankfully you never ever have to see him again. except now you are forced on a plane with him to the mediterranean because the tickets are non-refundable. fuck this.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader, natasha romanoff x reader
a/n: omg i've been writing this for so long i'm so glad i get to share it with you. theres going to be 10 chapters and a few bonus blurbs and social media thingys. i'm so glad to be back <3
p.s.: the chapter names are based off of the movie "ten things i hate about you"
[reason #1 - i hate the way you talk to me]
[reason #2 - i hate the way you cut your hair]
[reason #3 - i hate it when you drive my car]
[reason #4 - i hate it when you stare]
[reason #5 - i hate your big dumb combat boots]
[reason #6 - i hate the way you read my mind]
[reason #7 - i hate the way you're always right]
[reason #8 - i hate it when you lie]
[reason #9 - i hate it when you make me laugh]
[reason #10 - i hate it when you're not around]
[i hate the way i don't hate you. not even close... not even a little bit... not even at all.]
I want to know what could’ve been in Please Baby. Could you please share with us, pretty please?
— please baby —
Warnings: fluff, angst
Alternate ending to Please Baby
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader from Champagne
A/N: This is like a What If…? episode but for my fic and I love the concept. Enjoy!
“Thanks guys,” Noah slurred, shifting in his seat a little to lay back slightly. You grinned and rocked the baby who had yet to be named. You felt Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind, his chin on your shoulder, and he placed a quick kiss to the crook of your neck. You both stood there for a few long minutes, relishing the peace and quiet.
“He’s so cute.”
“He’s cute enough,” Bucky whispered, smiling against your skin. You let out an airy giggle, speaking as gently as he was.
“What’s cuter?” You questioned and turned your head to the side to look at him when his chin left your shoulder. With a curious expression aimed at him, he leaned in to give you a gentle yet passionate kiss, leaving you to giggle afterwards.
“Our kids,” he declared with a nervous smile. You mimicked his smile which made his smile turn into a smug grin. He licked his lips, making your eyes dart down to catch the action before gazing into his eyes again as he spoke. “I want one or two or three or four or five or—”
“I get it,” you interrupted, cheeks and ears burning up rapidly. Your body felt as if it was on fire as his lips landed on your neck and his hands sprawled across your lower stomach. You bit back a sigh and opted to relax your tense body against Bucky. His breath was cold compared to your heated body, sending shivers down your spine and giving you a chance to escape your head. “So you want a baby?”
“Yeah,” Bucky answered nonchalantly with a shrug. “I thought I was being obvious.”
“Now you are,” you teased, glancing down at the baby boy. “I just want to be sure if you really want to—”
“Of course I want to! I mean it more—”
“I believe you, but I need to make sure it isn’t just a spur of the moment confession, Buck. There’s a lot going on right so I wouldn’t be—”
“I’m going to get some fresh air,” Bucky deadpanned, letting you go abruptly and leaving the room as soon as he could. You chewed the inside of your cheek, swallowing down the bile that rose in your throat.
The baby boy had gotten hungry and woken Faith and Noah up with his wailing. The nurse, Vanessa, had come in and started to help Faith feed him, giving you the time to go and find Bucky. It had only been ten minutes since he had left and yet the sinking feeling of him not being in the room made your stomach knot. You stepped through the doors, finding him leaning against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets, staring intensely at the vending machine.
“James?” Your voice broke him out of the trance he was captured in, but he didn’t look at you. Instead he looked down at the ground with a sigh.
“You need something?” The way his tone was closed off made you step closer to him. You weren’t even sure what made him leave the room in the first place. You knew that he was serious when he said he wanted to start a family with you, that had always been the plan, and you knew that. But this wasn’t the right time in your opinion. Bucky could’ve said it out of the moment that you were sharing with his arms wrapped around your waist and you holding your nephew.
“Bucky,” you sighed, sounding dejected. You wrapped your arms around yourself as if it could shield you from your feelings. “Talk to me.”
“About what?” He snapped, kicking off the wall and turning towards you. This time he looked you in the eye. “About how easily you brushed my statement off? About how much I want kids with you? About how much you don’t want kids? Not with me at least.”
“What?” You shook your head, not able to wrap your head around the idea of Bucky thinking that you didn’t want kids with him. Bucky clenched his jaw and turned his head away from, closing his eyes and letting out a huff. You stalked forward and embraced him, arms sneaking around his neck. His hands stayed in his pockets, fisted. “Why would you think that?” You pulled away to look at his face, cupping one of his cheeks so that he looked at you.
“I’m not exactly the best man in the world if you haven’t noticed,” he tried to joke, failing as your lips tugged down a bit while his sort of smirk faltered. “I wouldn’t be surprised if ya didn’t want kids with me anymore. There ain’t a lot of people who wanna kid with a former assassin.” His Brooklyn accent started to leak into his words and you found yourself smiling ever so slightly.
“I would’ve never thought that the father of my future kids would be such an idiot,” you whispered, causing Bucky to snap his eyes to yours. “I can’t believe that you would think that I didn’t want kids because of you. Here I was thinking that I would tell you that I want kids, but not right now because we got married just a month ago, we need to find a house we can call home, and we need to make sure that our job wouldn’t affect their lives. That we need time to plan everything.”
A moment silence passed as it clicked.
“Shit. I’m an idiot.” Bucky leaned his forehead against your shoulder and let his hands grasp your waist, groaning as he finally realised that you were right with all the reasons. “Sorry, doll. I got caught up in my head and didna think properly.”
“It’s fine, Bucky,” you said, giggling slightly. “I’m sure that Tony can find a house we like in just a matter of days and we can book an appointment with a doctor before we start trying to get some expert advice. And as for the job situation, I’m still on paperwork duty so it works out.”
“You’re amazin’,” Bucky sighed, lifting his head and smashing his lips to yours. When he pulled away, he had a look of confusion etched on his face. “What about the married a month ago thing?”
“Baby, we’ve been together for a couple of years. I think we had enough alone time.”
Three months. Technically three months, two weeks, and three days. That’s how long it’s been since your first date with him. Dinner, a spontaneous stroll of a nearby park, completed by Bucky and you awkwardly standing around till you struck up the nerve to high-five him. Initially, he looked at you with wide eyes before returning it with a smile that creases the skin around his eyes. Why a high five? Well, you panicked. You couldn’t complain because you got to see that beautiful smile of his, which constantly played in your head in the following days.
Ever since days entailed of nice-short texts, calls to make plans. a.k.a excuse to hear each other, cafe hunts, and movie nights. Today was a dear diary moment since it’s the first time you got an invite to his place. All you had to do in his words were, “Get here.” You took a shower after work and headed towards his place. You stopped on the way to get a small bouquet of lilacs and ice cream. After quickly running your fingers through your hair, you knocked. You could hear feet shuffling towards the door. When the door slowly opened, you were immediately greeted by a whiff of aroma.
“Hey.” He moved back to let you in. You noticed the steam above the pan, the open recipe book, and different ingredients scattered across the counter as you entered the apartment. You turned back to see his line of sight moving back to you. You handed him the flowers, “Hey.” He brought it closer to him and looked at it sheepishly, “You brought me flowers?”
You shrugged, “You always get me those. I didn’t want to break the streak.” He closed the gap to hold you and kissed your forehead, “They’re beautiful. Just like you.” You slightly shivered when his lips moved against your skin. He kissed the spot again before he rushed towards the pan. You laughed as he struggled to reduce the burner and mix the pot at the same time. You set the bag on the counter and turned back to watch him mumbling as he moved back and forth from the book to the pan. You leaned back on the counter as you watched him panic in sweats.
You knew looks didn’t matter but oh my god. Every time he was anywhere near, your stomach would tie up into knots and your body would go up by ten degrees. Your eyes wouldn’t stop wandering around. This was the most comfortable you have seen him attire-wise. He usually layered up, but today it was just one sweatshirt that curled around his biceps like a second skin. Your eyes darted down as he cleaned his hands on the towel that was tucked into his sweatpants. Since his back was facing you, the next thing to look at was his defined lower body. Relevant adjectives- toned, sculptured, breathtaking-
You came back from your train of thoughts, as Bucky intently looked at you. You smiled, “Yeah. What are you making?” He didn’t look convinced but continued to answer, “I tried making paella.” You moved closer and inhaled the rich saffron smell. The pan was colorful with rice, vegetables, and maybe chicken, “This looks and smells amazing Buck.”
“Thanks. You brought ice cream.” He moves to put them in the freezer.
“Yep. It’s my first time here and I didn’t want to come empty-handed. It’s perfect for movie night too.”
He laughs as he plates the food, “You bought me flowers.”
“I think eating flowers during the movie would be a little too sophisticated, don’t you think?”
Bucky’s laugh resonated through the apartment as he carried out the plates, “You’re right.”
You followed behind him and sat down at the end of the coffee table. Bucky came back with spoons and forks, “I forgot to buy something for us to drink and I realized that halfway through cooking. So, I have beer, water,” He opened the fridge up, “Yep. Beer and water.”
“I’ll have a beer.”
Bucky grabbed two bottles and walked back. He sat down and passed you one. After a quick click of the bottlenecks and sip, you placed your bottle back on the table and took a bite. Your eyes widened as you savored the flavors, “This is you trying?”
Bucky tasted it himself to which he gave an approving nod, “It’s good.” You add, “Really good.” You realized you were so preoccupied with Bucky that you never looked around. You brought your attention back to the table after a quick glimpse. He looked preoccupied with the bottle in hand. There was a hint of nervousness that the face carried, “I, ugh, don’t have a lot to show.” His eyes wavered to the room and anything that isn’t you.
“Buck, do you have everything that you need?”
His gaze finally fell on you. With a little bit of hesitation, he answered, “Yeah.” You gave him the biggest smile, “Then that’s all that matters. I think the place is nice.” His shoulders loosen as he opens his palm as an invitation for yours. You bring your hand from under the table to meet his. The conversation branched out to how each other’s day went and took various forms from there.
“Let me help you.” You whined as Bucky swiftly took your plate from your grasp. Bucky refused any help during the cleaning-up process. The second you would touch anything he would show up to get it out of your hand and remind you to sit. Just as you stood to protest, your phone rang. You groaned as you saw Bucky quickly cleaning the dishes before looking at the caller ID. Even though you felt slightly bad, you pressed the silent button.
“You’re telling me there’s nothing I can do?” You ask while surveying the kitchen for something.
“You could think about which movie to watch, doll.” You knew what he was subtly hinting. Every movie night both of you had, you spend at least half an hour contemplating which movie to watch. Bucky has always been really patient with you, but he would remind you of your indecisiveness when it comes to picking a movie. You scroll through Netflix’s new list while voicing out your likes/dislikes about each. You knew at the back of your head that you would give up and ask Bucky to choose one.
This is exactly what happened ten minutes later. Bucky took less than five minutes to choose a movie and bring out ice cream and spoons. Both of you had created a comfy spot with blankets, sheets, and pillows, so you could watch comfortably. After almost an hour of the movie and switching ice cream tubs periodically, your phone rang. This would have been fine if it only vibrated once. By the second time, you knew attention span on the movie had decreased, and was more on your phone. “Sorry.” Bucky paused the movie while you checked your phone. You realized what they were doing - taking turns to annoy you. You had bailed on your friends the second time this week and they weren’t happy. To be honest, the first time you were actually too lazy to get dressed, and the second time you had said you wouldn’t come the minute the idea came up. You turned to Bucky who was obviously trying to give you space.
“It’s my friends.”
“Are they good?”
“Yep.” You switch off your phone. You would come up with something tomorrow, but not right now. You pushed your phone back into your pocket and turned to him. Bucky gave you a small smile before he resumed the movie again.
You hadn’t told anyone about… this. You thought it was best to first figure things out before you tell anyone. Hence, the weird excuses your friends were catching on to. Maybe I should have that conversation soon? Even if it’ll end ugly, it’ll be now and not a few more months later where I could get more hurt.
When the movie ended, none of you spoke. Completely silent in a room that was dark except for the light from the TV and the light fixture near the kitchen. You wanted to say something but you had no idea how to start.
“You didn’t pay attention, did you?” Bucky asked.
Both of you leaned back on the pillow, “It wasn’t that great.” You chuckle and look at him, “I don’t like when I have to assume what happened.”
“Exactly. I hate cliffhangers too. If I have to get creative at the end, then why even watch it and waste time.” Bucky turns to back to the screen, “I guess we just did.”
That’s when you realized. You were facing a cliffhanger in reality. You didn’t know what was going on and there was absolutely no telling. You couldn’t bear the overthinking anymore, so you blurted it out, “Where is this going?” You assumed he would ask what you were talking about but he didn’t. Instead, he stayed still. He didn’t move or talk. You immediately felt like the cliffhanger was substituted by a solid answer. You swallowed the ball that clogged your throat before mustering up the courage. It was his decision and you were fine with that. You were about to get up, when he turned to you, “I like being with you.”
Your legs froze. Maybe it was hope or relief that this wasn’t the end, but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Bucky’s eyes flashed sadness that confused you, “You don’t have to say it back.” You immediately held his hand, “Wait. That was out of shock. I like being with you too.”
Bucky’s confused look made you ramble on, “No one knows about us and that’s why I was dodging my friends' calls, so I wouldn’t have to come up with something today. That got me thinking about why I’m staying quiet to my friends with who I’m super close. We tell each other everything and, weirdly, I’m hiding this from them. But, at the same time if I do tell them, what will I say. I go on dates and hang out with this person but we haven’t talked about what this actually is because I agreed to take it slow. Now that I’m saying it out loud, it makes a bit of sense. But still not a lot. Then, we got talking about cliffhangers and ironically this is a sort of cliffhanger too. When you didn’t reply I thought this was the end. Then you said that and, n-now I feel like I said too much. Please say something.”
Bucky chuckled, “Be my girlfriend. Please?”
Your smile was truly from one eye to another when you replied, “Okay.”
Bucky held the side of your face, gently running his thumb on your cheeks. Your eyes lingered between his eyes and lips. Both of you lean in and that, my friend, was the start of a never ending.
Should I do another part where everyone finds out? Let me know.
a/n: apologies, this is my first time writing in a while and im shit at dialogue. i had wrote this for someone on wattpad but they’ve yet to post it so im doing to here.
warnings: none :)
pairing: bucky x reader (any and all genders)
How many times will Bucky have to see this? How many times will he sit in a chair next to someone he loves wondering what happens next? He’s been here more times than he can count with Steve. More than he’d like with Sam and the rest of his newer Avenger friends. And now, once again, with you.
Blood cleaned away by countless rags, bruised and parts broken, you laid there under the protection of Buck’s watchful eye. All he wanted was for you to wake up. For this idiotic screw up on the military’s part to not be your last mission. He knew that it wouldn’t be, the damage wasn’t irreversible. And yet, he still sat with a furrowed brow and a frown.
13 times. 13 times in just over a year. That’s how many times he’s sat in one of these med bay grey chairs watching over you. By now you’ve got to know how much you mean to him. Right? Buck thinks it’s enough.
So he feels you may already know the truth when he leans over and whispers, “We oughta go dancin’ sometime.”
It was finally then that you opened your eyes, cringing from the harsh light and white paint. Intending to only glance but getting caught in a stare down.
“Yeah”, you responded , “I think I’d like that.”
Bucky’s eyes crinkled and his teeth shown as he leaned over, kissing your nose and connecting your foreheads.
“Alright doll, as soon as you're on your feet again
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (enemies to lovers)
Prompt: After a particular mission brings forward the issues between yours and Bucky’s relationship, it’s decided that a bonding exercise is the best way to close the rift. There’s only two rules: no murdering each other, and you can’t say “no.” (based on this request)
Warnings: SMUT 18+ (fingering, oral m and f receiving, unprotected sex, teasing, spanking, dirty talk, cumplay, slight dub-con elements), some fluff, a tiny bit of angst, mentions of violence, mentions of injuries
A/n: Thank you so much to the lovely anon who requested this! I’m a little rusty with writing smut so I hope it isn’t horrible. I also changed the ask up just a little bit! I hope you all enjoy, and as always, my inbox, messages, requests, and taglists are open!
It felt like you were being sent to the Principal’s office.
And that was the first thing you voiced as you stepped into the small meeting room, earning a groan from all three men.
“Alright, alright, bad joke, I get it,” you huffed, flopping down into one of the swivel chairs. “Take it easy on me, I can barely even see your judge faces right now over this fucking ice pack.” They really couldn’t have waited until after the swelling on your face had gone down?
“It’s not our fault that you ran into a fucking wall,” Bucky snapped, taking the seat farthest away from you.
“No, a person threw me into a wall, Barnes. Get your facts straight,” you snapped, aiming an accusing finger at him.
“A little over to your left, sweetheart.”
You yanked the ice pack off of your nose, swollen and bruised face be damned, and chucked it exactly where you were pointing, hitting him square in the chest.
“Children!” Tony snapped, bringing everyone’s attention to him. “Can we table this truly enthralling argument for another time?”
A small pout settled on your face as you leaned back in your seat, nodding silently.
“Why are we here?” Bucky grumbled. “Debriefings usually don’t take place and three in the morning.”
“Well, lucky for you, it’s not a debriefing,” Tony responded, crossing his arms over his chest before turning to Steve. “Care to explain, Captain?”
“We need to have a serious discussion about you two,” Steve explained, voice steady and calm as he eyed the two of you.
“We know we need to sign forms if we’re fucking, Steve. You’ve only told us that a million times,” you said, resting one arm on the table and laying your head atop it. “But don’t worry, I wouldn’t let his cyborg dick anywhere near me.”
Steve’s lips turned downwards in disapproval before he shook his head. “No, it’s about your performance in the field.” He leaned against the table. “You two are risking each other’s lives with your bickering and immaturity.”
“Then don’t pair us together, simple as that,” Bucky spoke, rising from his chair. “Are we done here?”
“Buck, sit down,” Steve commanded, his patience wearing extremely thin. “It’s not that simple. If we need you two to go on a mission together, it should be expected that you two won’t get the other hurt or even killed. With how this easy recon mission has gone, we’re having trouble expecting that from you two.”
“So, we’ve devised a plan to help you two get along, bond, grow your skills,” Tony piped up, and the smirk that grew on his face made apprehension stir in your stomach, your head slowly rising from the table. “We’re sending you two to my winter cabin in upstate New York for the weekend.”
“Isn’t that, like, in the middle of nowhere?” you questioned.
“It absolutely is, Y/L/N. Great observation.”
Your eyes narrowed at Steve and Tony. “I feel like there’s a catch. Y’know, other than the fact that we’ll be all by ourselves in the middle of nowhere for two whole days.”
“Gosh, you really are hitting every nail on the head. Sharp as a tack, this one. What are you, a spy or something?” Tony leaned forward, settling his hands on the table. “There’s two simple rules: first of all, no murdering each other. Secondly, you can’t say no to each other.”
You and Bucky shared a look, letting the proposition float in the air for a few silent moments. “And if we don’t go through with this? Or break the rules?”
“Then you’re benched until further notice.” Tony clapped his hands together as you and Bucky reeled from everything that was just dropped on you two. “Alright, good talk, folks. See you bright and early tomorrow morning. Your suitcases are already packed.”
As Steve and Tony headed for the door, Bucky shot up from his seat. “Steve, come on,” Bucky basically whined, hot on Steve’s heels. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
“I actually do, Buck. It’s about time you two get your shit together,” Steve snapped, stunning Bucky into silence. Without another word, Steve left the room, leaving you and Bucky by yourselves in the now-deserted meeting room.
“This is all your fault.”
“I swear to fucking god, Barnes-”
The three hour drive wasn’t too bad, luckily. It was probably because Steve was chauffeuring and he seemed to be the only one to break up your arguments with Bucky. You just hoped that this calm silence would continue for the whole weekend, but you definitely were skeptical of that actually taking place.
When Steve pulled up to the cabin, it was only 10 a.m. The sun was high in the sky, glowing down on the pine trees that towered above you and even the three story cabin. In any other circumstance, you would be eternally grateful to Tony for allowing you to stay in this stunning mansion of a cabin surrounded by seemingly endless forest.
However, reality caught back up to you when Bucky shoved your duffle bag into your arms. “Let’s go,” he snapped, trudging his way to the front door and inside the house.
After thanking Steve for driving and giving him a hug that lasted a little too long for the sake of procrastination, you watched the car drive back down the winding road before reluctantly making your way inside.
At your entrance, a familiar voice sounded overhead.
“Agent Barnes, Agent Y/L/N, welcome to your getaway weekend cabin,” FRIDAY greeted.
“Of course,” you sighed, tossing your bag onto the ground. “Why would I expect anything different?”
“It has been requested by Tony to surveil you two during your stay in order to ensure that no rules are broken during your stay. Otherwise, I will not be actively present unless requested, as per usual. Brunch is in the fridge. Enjoy your stay.”
“What the fuck is brunch?” Bucky spoke, stepping into the kitchen adjoined next to the living room and opening the fridge.
“A meal between breakfast and lunch. Did that not exist in the 40′s?” you explained, following behind him and glancing in the fridge.
“We were in the middle of a war, we didn’t have the money to have another meal between breakfast and lunch.” He pulled out a platter of waffles, bacon, eggs, and hash browns, along with a bottle of champagne, skirting past you to set it down on the breakfast bar.
“Ooh, is there orange juice, too? I want a mimosa.”
“I’m convinced you’re speaking gibberish at this point.”
“Get with the times, old man.” You opened the fridge and pulled out the bottle of orange juice sat in the door, holding it up like a trophy before scouring through the cabinets for two champagne flutes. “Now, do you want one or are you gonna be a buzzkill?”
Luckily, the bulk of the day was fairly tame, mostly spent with you two sitting on completely opposite ends of the couch as you watched tv or snacked off of the brunch platter or downed the bottle of champagne that most definitely cost more than your life’s savings.
However, as the sun slowly started to lower and your stomach started grumbling for dinner as the brunch tray had been cleared off hours earlier, it dawned upon you two that there was no other food in the house.
“Should we order something?” you asked, glancing into the fridge one last time as if food would magically appear.
“Would they even deliver up here?” Bucky sighed.
“I doubt it. But, I mean, we’ve got Tony’s credit card equipped through FRIDAY, so we could offer more money for the trip up.”
“Fine, but you’re calling.”
“What, why do I have to call?!” You followed closely behind him as he headed back to the living room.
“Because I said so, and there’s this little rule in place right now, if you don’t recall.”
You huffed, jaw wound tight as you examined the smirk on his face. “Fine. I’ll order the food if you admit something to me.”
“And what is that?”
You mirrored his smirk, cocking your head to the side. “You have to admit that it was your fault that we got ambushed on the mission, not mine.”
“Ooh, do I hear a protest. Perhaps, even, a two letter word starting with the letter ‘n?’ Hmm?”
He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, biting down on the flesh for a moment before shooting you a glare. “Order the fucking food.”
“Not until you admit it.”
“Sounds like we’re not getting food any time soon.”
“I guess not.” You shrugged. “Unless you call. Will you call?”
He sucked in a deep breath, fingers clenching into fists at his sides, but he stayed silent.
“Please, Bucky? Please, please, please can you call?”
His body ached so badly to smack the stupid victorious smirk off of your face, but instead, he let out the breath in his lungs and closed his eyes. “Fine.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and pulled his phone from his pocket before flopping down on the couch.
“I’ll have a cheese pizza with extra cheese.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
With a full stomach and a complete annoyance of the lack of decent shows playing, you rolled off of the couch and onto your feet. “’m gonna go to bed,” you mumbled, rubbing at your eye with the heel of your palm, careful to avoid your still-tender nose.
Bucky nodded, lifting himself off of the couch as well before clicking the TV off. He headed over to the entryway where both of your bags laid.
“Can you carry my bag, too? I’m too tired.”
He rolled his eyes but obliged, taking one bag in each hand. “God, you’re such a baby,” he grumbled, brushing past you and heading up the stairs that led to a plethora of rooms. He tossed your bag into the first room, whose door was open, before heading over to the next room, whose door was closed. You followed behind him, wanting to see what each room looked like, but stopped at his side as he yanked at the door knob. “It’s locked.”
“Maybe it’s Morgan’s room for when she stays here. Try the next one.”
The next door was unlocked, along with every other door other than the door to the first room. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“I think they want us to share a bed.”
“You fucking think?”
“Come on. Maybe the bed is big enough for both of us to not touch each other.”
You walked back into the first room, only to walk straight back out as you took a good long look at everything inside.
Sure, the bed was large. Large enough to hold probably three full grown adults. That wasn't the issue, though.
The issue was the bowl of condoms sat on the night stand. And the collection of adult toys immaculately lined up atop the dresser. And the plethora of ropes hanging off of the closet door. And the stack of folded towels set on top of the neatly made bed.
“On second thought, I’m gonna go sleep on the couch,” you rushed out, avoiding Bucky’s gaze as you scurried down the stairs and into the living room.
Where there was no longer a couch.
With wide eyes, you walked back up the stairs and into the entry way of the room where Bucky was still taking everything in. “There’s no couch,” you spoke.
“What?” he hummed, a pink tint fading from his cheeks as he turned to you.
“The couch is gone. There is no couch.”
“Dude, I’m not fucking sleeping with you. Go sleep on the couch or I will.”
“Go look for yourself then.”
He huffed, trotted down the stairs, and then returned back up to you just moments later. “The couch is gone.”
“That’s what I just fucking said, dumbass.” You ran a hand through your hair, letting out a huff. “The man can get a shit ton of sex toys and a trap door to get rid of the couch but can’t fill up the fridge with more than one meal.”
He picked his duffel bag up off of the floor and stepped inside the room, deliberately keeping his gaze directed towards the ground. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Bucky, it’s fine. This was their plan all along. I bet they fucking sewed the pillows and sheets to the bed or something. Just sleep on the bed.” You tossed your bag onto the bed’s right side, tugging the zipper open to retrieve your pajamas from inside.
“I’m, uh, I'm gonna go take a shower.” He gingerly set his bag on the other side. “Can you get rid of all this... stuff.”
You just nodded, staring down at the pajamas in your hands and waiting until he closed the en-suite bathroom door behind him to swiftly change into them and stuff your old clothes into your bag.
The first thing you tucked away was the condoms, dumping them into the drawer of the nightstand and slamming it shut. Afterwards, you gathered all of the ropes off of the closet door and tossed them inside the closet before shutting the door.
As you made your way over to the dresser, a noticeable and sadly-expected heat started pooling in the pit of your stomach. The toys were clearly expensive, and their sleek black bodies detailed with gold were clearly intentional. Those motherfuckers.
Would Tony even notice if you tucked one away in your bag and took it home as a souvenir of sorts? Would Bucky?
You squeezed your thighs together and sucked in a shaking breath, picking up one of the toys in the middle of the row and examining it. It was obviously a vibrator, evident by the glimmering gold switch that turned it on and off, along with the levels of speed and intensity that could be selected. However, there was an arm of sorts that extended out of the phallic-shaped body, something meant to stimulate your clit.
The way your breaths grew rapid didn’t go unnoticed by you, but that was tucked away into the back of your mind as your mind decided to focus on something different, something more important.
Thoughts of you and Bucky swarmed your head. More specifically, you and Bucky and this toy.
Maybe you’d have him sit at the edge of the bed and watch between your spread legs as you thrusted the toy in and out of you, hips jerking with every touch of the extension to your throbbing clit. You’d wait until you came once, maybe even twice, before he could touch you.
Maybe he’d use it on you, pistoning the toy in and out of you at a pace so rapid that it made your head spin. Your hands would grip tightly onto his relentless arm to stabilize yourself, to make him feel the clamminess of your palms as moans unabashedly stumbled past your lips.
Shaking your head, you pulled the top drawer of the dresser open and tossed the toy inside before making a sweeping motion over the top of the dresser and brushing the rest inside as well.
Silently, you walked back over to the bed and slipped under the covers on your side, laying on your right side so your gaze was directed towards the wall rather than the bathroom door that Bucky no doubt would be walking out of anytime soon, and you didn’t trust your composure enough to see him in the tight-fitting black shirt and equally tight black boxers that he called pajamas (or worse, just a towel).
Just a few minutes later, you felt hot steam billowing out of the bathroom as he stepped out. “Shower’s open if you want,” he spoke, curiously eyeing your body that visibly tensed at his voice.
“’m good, I’ll take one in the morning,” you explained. “Besides, you probably used up all the hot water. I can feel the steam from over here, you fucking glutton.”
Your eyes squeezed shut when a small chuckle reverberated in his chest, slowly squeezing your legs together and hoping to God he didn’t notice.
It got even worse when you felt the bed shift under his weight, silently wishing you told him to sleep on the floor. Maybe you could just shove him off the bed. Or you could sleep on the floor. The cold hardwood might be a nice reprieve against your heated and flushed skin.
“You okay, Y/L/N?” he spoke.
You could feel his eyes burning into your back. You nodded. “I’m fine. Besides, when do you care how I am?”
“Just don't want to wake up next to a dead body in the morning.”
“Oh, I only wish I was dead, Barnes. Now go to sleep before I give you a bruise to match mine.”
“Have fun trying, doll.”
“I’m gonna smother you with a pillow in your sleep if you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to God.”
All that came from him was another demeaning chuckle before you felt the warmth of his body radiating next to you as he slipped under the covers, even through there was a good foot of space between you two.
You made a mental note to beat the shit out of Steve and Tony when you got back.
It was hard to decipher if it was the sun shining through the curtains that woke you up, or if it was the warm breath fanning over the back of your neck as a cold arm pulled you closer to an even warmer body.
Your whole body grew rigid and your eyes snapped open.
No, scratch that, it wasn’t either of those things.
It was the fucking massive hard-on Bucky was sporting nestled perfectly between your ass cheeks.
Of course he had a big dick. Fuck him.
Holding your breath, you attempted you wiggle your way out of his grip without waking him up, truly wanting to avoid a confrontation with him while he was hard and Tony’s AI was listening to you two.
After about 30 seconds, you were able to slip half of your body away from his grip. But you got cocky and impatient.
With one swift move, you pulled away completely, immediately tumbling out of the bed and landing on the floor with a loud thud.
Bucky woke up with a start, sucking in a gasp as he shot up and searched around the room. However, his shoulders relaxed and his heartbeat slowed when he watched you sit up off of the floor with a groan. “You good?” he rasped.
You scrambled to your feet and scurried over to the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower!” you shouted before slamming the door shut.
Though the icy cold water definitely helped shake off the heat that had constantly been radiating in your core since last night, you considered just rubbing a quick one out to get the need out of your system.
Instead, you washed yourself at lightning speed before turning off the water, wrapping a towel tightly around your body, and stepping back into the bedroom to get a change of clothes (luckily, Bucky had already made his way downstairs).
You bounded down the steps and into the kitchen where Bucky resided, thumbing through a phone book he found in one of the junk drawers.
“Did you check the year on that book, Barnes?” you teased, grabbing it by the top and checking the cover. “2006. Doubt you’re gonna find any helpful info in there, old man. Use google.”
He let out a huff of annoyance, slamming the book shut and tossing it onto the counter. “Just trying to look for ideas for food,” he explained, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Again, google is a Godsend.”
“There’s no internet service up here. it stopped working last night.”
“Then ask FRIDAY.”
At the mention of her name, she made her presence known with a simple “What can I do for you?”
“Can you look up where the nearest IHOP is?”
She verified that there was indeed one just a few miles away, and you quickly requested her to place two orders of French toast, eggs, and bacon to be delivered to the cabin. After confirming your order, she went silent.
You left the kitchen and walked into the living room, an annoyed chuckle leaving your lips at the sight of the gigantic couch back in the spot it was yesterday as if it never disappeared. “The couch is back,” you shouted to Bucky.
“Of course it is,” he spoke, brushing past you to take the same spot he resided in the day before. You did the same, hands gliding over the soft cushions as you searched for the remote.
As you looked up to ask Bucky if he’d seen it, you noticed the sleek black device in his hands. “Can we watch Mamma Mia?”
He rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch. “We watched that yesterday.”
“And I want to watch it again today. It’s my comfort movie.”
His jaw ticked, eyes staring straight ahead at the still-black screen. “Fine, put it on.” He tossed the remote to you without looking.
You weren’t expecting him to throw the remote at you, and with everything else that had happened in just the past 12 hours, your reaction time was a bit inhibited.
A pained whine fell from your lips as the remote connected with your healing nose, your hands coming up to clutch at your face in lieu of catching the falling device. “Motherfucker,” you sputtered, holding your nose with one hand while the other gently wiped away the blood that began to drip.
In an instant, Bucky sprung to his feet and rushed over to you, his hands engulfing your shoulders as he examined your face. His expression was similar to one of a kicked puppy, brows knitted together in worry and pure regret swimming in his eyes. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
“’m fine.” you turned away from him, leaning over the dark mahogany floors to let the blood drip out of your nose, not wanting to stain the suede couch. “Can you get me some napkins or something?”
He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a whole roll of paper towels, ripping a few sheets off as he made his way back to you. Kneeling down in front of you, he coaxed your hands away from your face before pressing the paper towels delicately underneath your nose.
The dripping blood subsided as soon as it came, and Bucky worked to wipe off all of the smeared red on your hands, lips, and chin before setting the stained paper towels on the coffee table. “Does it hurt?” he questioned, the gentle raspiness of his voice a welcoming contrast to the usual sharp and short tone.
You shrugged. “Can... Can you check if it’s broken?”
He gave you a short nod before his hands returned to your face, fingers gliding across the bruised flesh and prodding at it with feather-light touches. The previous worry marring his forehead and brow shifted into focus, matched with his stuck-out tongue that wet his lower lip.
Your breaths grew brief and ragged as they came in and out of your parted lips, feeling warmth crawl to your face as his fingers touched you so tenderly, as his eyes held so much sincerity. You couldn’t take it. You closed your own eyes.
Of course you wanted him, needed him, loved him. I mean, who wouldn’t? With that brooding face and those glimmering oceans of blue that were his eyes, the deep rasp of his voice and his body that resembled a greek god carved from stone. The love she showed to Steve, to Wanda, even to Sam at times. Love you’d never been on the receiving end of.
But at that moment, with him touching you like the fragile thing you wished he could see you as, you almost could imagine what it would feel like to be loved by him.
“I don’t think it’s broken,” he announced, reeling you back into reality. He was just checking to make sure that you didn’t need to go to the hospital. Nothing more, nothing less.
You nodded slowly. “Thanks,” you breathed, letting your eyes flutter back open.
The breath you tried to catch fled your lungs once more as your eyes locked with his. There was a guilt swimming in his gaze that you’d never seen directed towards you, and it made you feel a little guilty that it made you swoon so hard. And his hands were still on your face and the warm and the cold made your head spin and-
“It's, uh, I think it’s just gonna be more tender feeling than usual.” Without another word, he rose to his feet and made his way back to his part of the couch, staring at the blank tv.
An awkward silence stretched between you two and instead of breaking it, you rose to your feet and headed to the kitchen to get an ice pack for your nose. After locating one and pressing it to your sore nose, you dejectedly headed back upstairs to the bedroom. Maybe you can get a good use out of that vibrator once your nose stops hurting.
With a sigh, you closed the door behind you and settled down on the unmade bed, letting the ice pack balance on your face as you closed your eyes.
It was either you didn’t hear the door open or you ignored it, but a moment later, you felt a figure hovering over you, along with the weight of one hand settled next to your right side.
“You remember how we have a rule right now?” Bucky’s warm voice breathed into your ear.
Your eyes shot open, locking with his once more, but the expression the was there just minutes before was replaced with something else, something... better, perhaps?
“Yeah,” you gasped, slowly pulling the ice pack away from your face.
He nodded. “Good, good. Just wanted to make sure you knew that you can’t stop me from doing this.”
You couldn’t even get the questioning words formulated in your mind before his lips were slotted against yours, hands settling on your hips and knees coming up to settle on the bed and prop himself up above you. Immediately, your hands let go of the ice pack and rose to cup his cheeks, back arching upward as you pressed yourself as close to him as humanely possible.
Moments after his tongue slipped into your mouth, he pulled away. “Wanna fuck you, pretty girl,” he admitted, running his nose along the column of your throat. “Can I fuck you?”
You gave a hum of agreement, a weak little “mhm” that took all of the breath in your lungs to let out.
But apparently, that wasn’t enough for him,
He reached up, taking your face in his hands and squishing your cheeks together. “Use your words. Can. I. Fuck. You?” His lips were so dangerously close to yours it made your brain foggy.
“Yes,” you slurred through squished cheeks.
“Now, are you saying yes because you want me to fuck you or because you aren’t allowed to reject me?”
“I want you to fuck me. Please.”
He nodded. “Good girl. How about we go off the color system, yeah? So you can stop me if there’s something you don’t want me to do.”
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
He perked up at that, tilting his head as a mischievous smirk cracked across his lips. “Yeah, baby? You’re gonna let me to fuck you until you see stars? Make you cum over and over again until you cry?”
You nodded fervently, parting your legs so he could slot himself between them. Instantly, he began rutting his hips against yours, his clothed hard-on brushing against your covered pussy as moans fell from both of your lips. You reached down to tug at his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before he sat back on his haunches and did the same for you.
With no hesitation, he dropped his head to your chest, mouthing at the tops of your breasts as one hand slid behind your back to unhook your bra. Once the hook was undone, he yanked the fabric off of your chest and engulfed your breasts with his hands.
“God, baby. You’ve been hiding these perfect tits from me, huh?” he chided, squeezing them before gliding his hands down to your ribs and pushing your breasts together. He bowed his head once more and laved at each nipple, tugging the pert bud between his teeth every so often as he alternated between them.
You let out a whine, clutching his silky strands of hair in one hand while the other worked at tugging off your leggings and panties. “Bucky,” you cried out, tugging at his hair.
“What’s wrong? I thought you said I could do whatever I wanted to you, and I wanna play with these pretty tits.”
“Yeah? And what’s ‘more?’”
Your face grew hot and you pulled your lower lip between your teeth as you stared down at him. “Want you to eat my pussy.”
He beamed up at you, dark eyes sparkling with excitement that he allowed you to take in for just a moment before he lurched up, capturing your lips with his once more. “I’d love to, doll.”
His hands took hold of your leggings and panties that you were able to push down to about mid-thigh, tugging them down the rest of the way and tossing them to the side. He settled on his stomach, face just inches away from your sopping heat, so close that you could feel his breath fanning over the heated flesh, making your hips jerk. His beaming smile grew roguish as he watched your reaction and took hold of your calves to drape your legs over his shoulders.
“You’re sensitive, aren’t ya?”
You nodded, hands once again returning to his hair. “Need you.”
He gave you a look of mock-concern, smoothing his chilly metal hand over your inner thigh. With his other hand, he hovered just his index finger above your hooded clit, searching your eyes for a moment before giving the bundle of nerves a single tap.
You let out a gasp, hips immediately lifting up off of the bed and towards his hand that he pulled away far too soon. He let out an amused chuckle, waiting until your lower half returned to the bed to repeat his ministrations.
His chuckles persisted as he repeated his actions five more times, completely entertained by the way your hips chased after his finger in a sort of desperate dance and your slit grew twice as slick, beginning to drip down your ass cheeks and onto the sheets.
“Bucky, please,” you sobbed, fingers curled so tightly into his hair that it urged a groan from him.
“I know, baby. You just look so pretty, all dripping and needy like this,” he cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to your hip bone. Slowly, his left hand began to glide up your inner calf, his ring and pinky curling down to connect with his palm as he made the trek up to hover right over your heat. “So wet, I bet I could just...” With no hesitation, he sunk his two extended fingers into your entrance. “Slip right in.”
A sound rivaling a sob tore through your throat at the sudden intrusion, nearly drowning out the squelch that sounded from your pussy. But your noises quickly turning to gasping, shaky silence as he thrusted his fingers in and out of you at a frantic pace, knocking all the breath from your lungs. His mouth engulfed your clit, sucking it between his lips and scraping it with his teeth.
It had barely taken a minute before you were teetering on the edge of your orgasm, both hands now buried in Bucky’s hair and holding him solidly against your clit, though you doubted he’d stop any time soon.
“So close,” you whimpered, toes starting to curl.
“Cum for me, baby. Cum on me,” he coaxed, fingers moving so quickly that you were convinced they were basically vibrating.
You nodded, panting out a few deep breaths before your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your jaw grew slack, letting go to the fullest extent.
As soon as you hit your peak hit, Bucky’s fingers and mouth switched spots, fingering rubbing tight circles on your clit while his tongue lapped at your entrance, slurping up your release enthusiastically. His ministrations slowed as you came down, opting to flatten out his tongue and slowly lick upward, starting at your still-dripping hole and up to your clit before dropping back down and repeating.
A small, whiny “Buck” slipped out between pants, hands now working to shove him away from your slit rather than pushing him deeper into it.
He shook his head, hooking his arms underneath your thighs. “Taste too good, pretty girl,” he mumbled, sucking your folds between his lips before releasing them with a groan.
“But I wanna suck your dick.”
His eyes lifted to yours, planting a final kiss to your clit, making your hips stir, before pulling away. “Yeah?”
You gave him a nod, pulling your legs away from his arms and placing your hands in his, tugging slightly so he would crawl back up your body. Once his face was level with yours, you gave him a peck while lifting his metal hand up to your lips, turning your head once they were close enough and slipping the first two digits into your mouth, getting a taste of your slick.
A low groan rumbled in Bucky’s chest, letting his fingers prod at the back of your throat for a moment before reluctantly pulling them out, cupping your cheek. “I think I might have to take a rain check on that,” he sighed, thumb tracing over your bottom lip before tugging it down, revealing your bottom row of teeth.
“Why?” you whined, reaching down to cup his bulge through his sweats. “Do you not want me to give you a blow job?”
“I do! Trust me, I definitely do.” he bit back a groan as your hand continued to work over his hard-on. “I just don’t know if I can hold back, and I don’t want to hurt your nose any more.”
You pouted playfully, though you couldn’t help the smirk that began to crack through. Your hand moved away so you could lift your hips, brushing your slick center over him at the thought of him falling apart so beautifully, unable to hold back as he clutches your hair and fucks your mouth at his own volition. “Fine. Next time. But that means you need to fuck me now.”
He nodded, giving you the space to sit up and rid himself of his pants and boxers. Once they were off and tossed to the floor, he let you crawl into his lap, arms hooking around his neck and legs entwining around his waist, gliding your slick folds over his cock.
His hips stuttered as his hands found purchase on your body, his left hand settled on the middle of your back while his right hand palmed at your ass. He landed a few smacks, urging you forward and locking your lips with his to muffle your cries. “God, baby, you’re just perfect,” he panted against your lips, pulling away a moment later and letting his breaths mingle with yours. His eyes locked with yours just as his hand came down against your flesh once more.
“Come on, Bucky,” your voice came out as a shaky plea, letting one hand wander down and ghost over his pulsing and weeping member.
He jolted at your touch, giving you a quick nod and laying you down on the bed, guiding himself to your entrance while his hands separated your legs from his waist so he could spread them apart and watch as he penetrated you.
He was planning on going slow, allowing you to adjust to his size, but the moment the head of his cock breached your hole, he couldn’t hold back, and he slid in with one fluid thrust.
The scream you let out startled him, but as his eyes flickered up to your face and saw the pure ecstasy that filled your expression, he knew that you were alright. Still, he couldn’t help but ask, “That feel good, doll?”
Wordlessly, you nodded, chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Sorry, baby, I just couldn’t hold back. Your pretty cunt’s just too tight, had to feel you around me.”
“Please, please move,” you stuttered, reaching out to grip at his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin. “Y’feel so good.”
Both hands settled at your hips, pulling out slowly and tugging your body down to meet his upward thrusts at a brutal, mind-numbing pace. He leaned forward as he did so, nosing at your throat and sponging kisses to your clavicle and shoulders. “Fuck, pretty girl. Just can’t get enough of you.”
Each thrust nudged so perfectly at your g-spot that you could barely catch your breath, but you found yourself wrapping your limbs around him and holding him closer, further strangling your breathing. Who needed oxygen when you’ve got a super soldier rearranging your guts?
His hands slid away from your waist as he gained his own rhythm in his thrusts, instead opting to rub at your clit and press down on your lower stomach. A proud smile crept onto his face as your body went slack at his ministrations, lips molding to yours immediately. It was needy, sloppy, and everything he could ever want from a kiss, especially with you.
“B-Buck,” you sobbed into his mouth, clawing at his chest and shoulders.
“You gonna come for me?” he urged, his thrusts turning into rough and desperate grinds that consistently applied pressure to the spongy patch within your walls, making your legs shake. “Gonna fall apart?”
“I’m so close.”
“Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
Your teeth caught his lower lip for a moment before you hit your peak, jaw dropping and back arching as you trembled underneath him. His one hand continued rubbing at your clit while the other rose to hold your face, watching your eyes basically cross as a strange sense of pride brewed in his stomach, along with the tightening coil that was about to snap at any moment.
The feeling of your walls pulsing around him tugged him dangerously close to his own high, the movements of his hips growing erratic. “You gotta let me go so I can pull out,” he rasped, eyelids fluttering.
You shook your head, legs tightening around him and hooking your ankles behind his back. “Cum inside me, baby,” you pleaded.
His breath caught in his throat as your words brought him to his climax, his body nearly collapsing on top of you as his hips continued to rock against yours, pumping loads of his spend deep into your cunt as groans fell from his mouth.
Once his legs stopped trembling and he was milked dry, he slowly untangled your legs off of him and slid off of you.
“Where’re you going?” you mumbled, placing your palms against your heated cheeks as your eyes closed
“Gonna get you cleaned up, sweetheart,” he explained.
A moment later, you felt his wet tongue carding through your dripping and spent folds. You gasped, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could see what he was doing.
His eyes locked with yours as his tongue made another long stride up your slit, capturing the mixture of your cum and his in his mouth and swallowing it down gratefully. “So obsessed with this pretty cunt, baby,” he mumbled, eyes flickering between your face and your dripping hole. He ducked down and slipped the wet muscle inside, lapping at your walls and licking them clean.
You could only handle about a minute of it before you lifted your hips up and away from his persistent mouth, clamping your legs shut with a whimper. “Sensitive,” you whined, shivering at his vibranium hand smoothing over your calf.
“Alright, alright.” He got up off of the bed and headed into the bathroom, returning with a damp washcloth and, once you let him open your legs, quickly wiped away yours and his release and his saliva. He cleaned himself off, too, before throwing the washcloth in the direction of the bathroom and crawling up the bed. He settled next to you, adjusting you so your head was laying on a pillow before he relaxed. “How’re you feeling?”
“Very good.” You let out a giggle and turned on your side to face him. “How about you.”
“I feel amazing, doll.” He reached out and cupped your face, thumb caressing your cheekbone.
His brows slowly knit together as he turned his hand slightly to brush his index finger over the bridge of your nose, scowling as you winced from the gentle touch.
“You’re right,” he spoke up, tugging his lower lip between his teeth.
“About what?” you hummed, eyes opening to search his expression.
“That it was my fault that you got hurt, that the mission went sideways.”
You rolled your eyes, moving to sit up. “Didn’t know you were one for pillow talk, Barnes. Sadly, I’m not.”
“Y/N, I’m serious. This isn’t some sappy, pillow talk bullshit.” He sat up as well and grabbed your arm. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, and it got you hurt.”
“Fine.” You turned to face him, tugging your arm out of his grip. “Tell me this, then, Barnes. Are you gonna feel the same way in a day when you’re not in a post-sex haze?”
His lips pressed together in a fine line and he scooted over to you. “Doll, I’ve felt this way since it happened.”
“Why didn’t you say it then?”
A shuddering sigh left his lips. “Because I’m a stubborn asshole who doesn’t like to admit that he’s in the wrong. And... And because I can't keep pushing you away forever. It’s killing me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you really think I hate you, even after this?”
You shrugged. “Hate sex is a thing, Barnes.”
“Doll, you’re my favorite person. You’re so smart and funny and powerful and... I was terrified to tell you, because you’d get hurt if anything came of us. But then you got hurt because I pushed you away, and I knew I had to fix it.”
“Are you telling me that you planned this trip?”
“No! God, no. I guess it was just... a blessing in disguise.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But if you want to pretend like none of this ever happened and we go on hating each other, that’s fine with me. I just had to do something.”
You let out a laugh. “Bucky, you just fucked my soul out of my body. You ate my pussy after you just came inside of me, and that is the hottest thing anyone has ever done to me. You think I’m just gonna let everything go back to normal after that?” You crawled over to him and placed your hands on his shoulders. “Besides, I’ve got a raincheck for a blowjob and I intend to do it the second my nose stops hurting. And maybe I like you a little bit, too.”
He chuckled, settling his hands on your waist and rubbing soothing circles on your exposed skin. “Well, how about a date tomorrow night when we get back?”
“That sounds perfect.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Just promise me something?”
“Promise me that you’re gonna be transparent with me about everything you’re feeling. Scared, worried, horny, all of it.”
“Good, good. Now, where’s the IHOP I ordered?”
“Your meal was delivered approximately 12 minutes ago. It is on the front doorstep,” FRIDAY spoke up.
“Why didn’t we get alerted for it?”
“Mr. Stark has installed a muting mechanism that becomes active during sexual intercourse.”
You rolled your eyes as Bucky snickered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. “So that means is we can get her to shut up if we keep fucking?” he questioned, hands gliding up and down the length of your back.
You groaned. “No, I need some food in my system. I’m just a little ol’ human, if you’ve forgotten.”
A huff left his lips. “Fine. But I’m fucking you in the kitchen as soon as you’re done.” He tightened his grip on you and scooted off of the bed, carrying you in his arms as he made his way downstairs.