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#james buchanan barnes x fem!reader
eviesaurusrex · 1 year
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“ᴍʏ ʀᴇꜱᴘᴏɴꜱɪʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜ.” | ʙ. ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱ
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GIFs not mine!
Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
summary: Bucky’s girl has to get her wisdom teeth removed, and he would go to all lengths to protect her from that experience—but he has to deal with the aftermath and takes care of her in the best possible ways.
word count: 2.1k
warnings: mentions of blood and surgical environment, mentions of pain and panic, Bucky being overprotective, mentions of his nightmares/night terrors, mentions of teeth removal, but overall more fluff than angst!
author’s note: This is entirely self-indulgence on my behalf bc I got mine removed on Tuesday, and it was probably the scariest experience I ever had in a doctor’s office. So, I need to imagine Bucky would be there and worry about me and take care of me.
;
He sat in the hallway, forearms resting on his knees, of which one bounced rapidly to ease the need to jump up and walk straight into that room. Steve was right next to him—Bucky suspected that YN had asked him to sit down with him, just in case—and he was thankful for his best friend’s company because the sounds he could pick up in the distance almost drove him mad.
Bucky knew that Steve probably heard them more clearly, but the faint sounds were already enough for him to want to jump up and save his girl from the excruciating fear she now had to face in there. She sounded like an injured and scared animal, and he could hear her sobs traveling to his ears—it reminded him so much of the sounds he woke himself with night after night, the panic all-consuming, and only her tender touches could pull him back out of the memories. Listening to YN making those exact same noises almost broke his heart to a million pieces.
“Why can’t they just put her under,” he mumbled angrily, hands pushing through his now short hair, which YN had cut for him during a sunny but lazy Saturday morning. Steve softly patted his shoulder. “You know her body would burn through the anesthesia faster than they could work, and they can’t use the stuff Bruce developed because she tends to get high blood pressure from it.” Steve tried everything to get through to Bucky, to console him, to make him understand that this was the only option—and that everything would be alright. “She will push through it. They gave her something to calm down, and she doesn’t feel any pain.” His words seemed like a joke as another sobbing moan was heard by the two super soldiers. “Doesn’t sound like it,” Bucky mumbled, face buried in his hands.
The blonde man sighed deeply before speaking up again. “Friday?” The AI instantly woke to life. “Yes, Captain Rogers?” He threw a look at his friend before asking the question. “How is YN holding up in there?” They had to wait a few seconds before Friday spoke again. “Agent LN‘s blood pressure is slightly elevated, but Doctor Hilton just said they would be done in only a couple of minutes. The last tooth is rotated, and he needs a bit longer to remove it than he did for the previous three. I will notify you when they are done.”
Bucky slumped back against the wall behind him, releasing the held breath in a deep sigh, but still continued the wringing of his hands. The wiring sound of his metal arm increased as he raked his metal fingers through his hair once more, his eyes closed and dark brows furrowed. At least he didn’t hear the pained moan coming from his girlfriend anymore, but he still could make out her soft crying.
The following minutes passed as slowly as eternity probably would feel before Friday announced that the procedure was finished and the last stitch was made. Neither Steve nor the nurses who worked in the medbay of the compound could stop the brunette soldier as he jumped off the too-small chair and rushed through the hallway. He didn’t even bother to check if he was allowed to enter the sterile surgical room; instead, he just stalked in there, throwing everyone a dark look, before hurrying himself over to YN, who still rested on the horizontal chair, eyes red and puffy from all the crying, tears still running down her already slightly swollen cheeks.
“Oh, YNN,” he whispered gently and softly, prying open her cramped fingers, which held tensely onto each other. He took her hand in his, pressed it against his chest, and leaned down to pepper her forehead in soft kisses, not wanting to risk hurting her if he dared to kiss her cheeks. “You did so well, doll. So, so well,” he continued his whispered praises and brushed the salty tears off her cheeks and from underneath her eyes with a feather-like touch of his thumb. She looked up at him, tears still clearly visible in her watery eyes, and another sob escaped her throat. But suddenly, she choked on it, and a bit of blood escaped her lips as she coughed, which Bucky was fast to dab from there with the towel laying on the surgical tray right next to her.
“There. All gone.” He smiled down at her, and YN stretched her arms out to him, desperation and the remnants of panic and fear on her still pretty face, and he softly pulled her into his arms, lifting her off the chair. “Make sure she lays upright for the first couple of days,” the surgeon says after Bucky has turned with her securely in his arms. “Cooling is essential, so start with it right away. When her cheeks swell up, you can do lymphatic drainage—Friday has the instructions. Check-up is tomorrow, and we will remove the stitches a week from now.“ The soldier nodded after every point made. “The painkillers and the antibiotics are in this bag, along with some instructions concerning her nutrition for the upcoming days, but Friday also generated a meal plan.” Again, another nod from Bucky while YN just clung to him. “She did really good,” Hilton smiled at last and released the couple.
Bucky carried her out of the room and let Steve accompany them on their way upwards onto the living floor. YN threw the blonde a thankful look before opening her mouth slightly. “Thanks, Stevie.” It was only a mumble, almost incomprehensible due to the cotton pads between her teeth and the still working local anesthetic, numbing her entire mouth, including her tongue, but Steve understood her nonetheless. “Everything for my sister-in-mind,” he returned with a soft smile and gently rubbed over her back. “Get some rest, cupcake.” She nodded at his words before snuggling her head back onto Bucky’s shoulder while Steve walked off and left them at the door to their shared bedroom.
“How is the pain, doll?” YN shrugged at that, clinging to him as he tried to put her on the bed and wanting to leave her alone. “Dongo,” she mumbled, and the soldier smiled down at her, crouching in front of the sitting woman. “Was never my intention, pretty girl. Just wanted to get your shoes off. Do you want some fluffy socks? One of my Henleys?” She nodded at both with brightening eyes, and Bucky smiled again before softly kissing the crown of her head, a hand gently combing through her hair. “Be right back, darling.” And he held his word, returning with her favorite pair of fluffy socks—the ones with candy canes and reindeer—and her favorite Henley—the dark red one. He helped her into both, always careful not to touch her cheeks.
He moved her into the middle of the enormous bed, propping her up with the pillows lying around and tucking her in. “Gonna do a quick run to the kitchen to get you those cooling packs, doll. Need anything else?” She shook her head and watched him as he left and even stared at the door when he returned only minutes later—arms filled with all kinds of stuff.
YN raised both brows in silent question after Bucky had neatly piled everything on top of the bedside table and tried to figure out how he could attach the cooling packs to her face. He would hold them day and night, but the soldier was sure that his girlfriend wouldn’t be fond of that suggestion. “Don’t give me that look, doll. Y’know, I can’t let you starve or dehydrate. Nat gave me those drink meals? And Tony found some of those squeeze puree bags Peter used when he got his removed. I don’t know; it says something about banana and strawberry flavor, and that sounded quite good, didn’t it? Oh, and I got you lots of water, and Wanda will bring some tea later. She said it would be antibacterial? S’supposed to help with the healing and—…” He rambled without pause, and YN gently pressed her pointer finger onto his lips and let him shut up. “Sorry,” he mumbled against her skin with a bashful smile.
“Give me those.” YN took the cooling packs out of his restless, moving hands and pointed to their shared closet. “Could you bring me a scarf?” Bucky was up and on the other side of the room within a blink of an eye and held three options over his head, a questioning expression in his eyes. “Which one?” YN smiled softly and slightly shook her head. “Doesn’t matter, silly,” she told him, but Bucky still treated the decision like the most important one on this day. “I think we should go with the grey one. It’s soft enough for your skin, it’s not too expensive to be crying over it when you ruin it, and it’s big enough for whatever you might wanna do to it,” he finally decided and brought it to her before plopping down next to YN and watching her in her doings.
She folded it in half lengthwise and put the two cooling packs in the middle before wrapping them in the fabric. Then, she lifted the now-heavy scarf and started to make a knot on the top of her head—the section with the packs now tightly resting around her chin and cheeks. Bucky stared in awe at her inventing mind, and a chuckle escaped him after YN had turned her head to face him. “You look like a little bunny. Or that one Disney character with the long ears.” YN giggled at that. “You mean Goofy?” He nodded with a grin before pulling her close to his body.
“How is the pain? Do you need some of those painkillers?” He had to make sure that it didn’t get worse while he was gone. And he was glad he asked because she nodded slowly, almost shyly. “Yeah… Think the anesthetic is wearing off,” the agent mumbled, and he was quick to get the package from the bag and one of the water bottles he had brought. “There you go,” he mumbled after carefully removing the blood-drenched cotton pads from her mouth, and she had thrown one in and emptied the bottle halfway. “Don’t have to feel embarrassed, love. Just tell me if you need another one, yeah? You don’t have to suffer only because you think you have to.” YN nodded gently and leaned her head heavily on his shoulder.
“I was so scared in there,” she finally dared to whisper and felt his hold around her tighten. “I know, love. Heard you through that entire hallway. It broke my heart not to be able to protect you from that. But you did so, so well. My brave girl,” the usually grumpy super soldier mumbled into her soft hair, pressing several kisses to her temple. “Sorry for worrying you. And scaring you. I just… just couldn’t stop the tears and the sounds because it hurt so bad but didn’t hurt at the same time because everything was numb, but my jaw…” The memory of the feeling when a tooth was pulled out alone made her nauseous again, not to mention the sickening sound when the surgeon had to crack one of her teeth in order to get it out of her damn jaw.
Bucky held her even closer at that and hummed softly. “It’s over now, love. And stop apologizing, hm? It’s my responsibility to worry myself to death when it comes to you. You’re my everything, YNN. It’s natural for me to worry about’ya.” She looked up at him and accepted the incoming forehead kiss with tiredly closing eyes, finally feeling comforted and loved and safe again. “But y’don’t have to hang here the entire week. I know you have missions and the evaluation of the recruits, and—…” Now it was Bucky’s turn to tenderly lay a finger to her lips and urge her to look up at him again. “Did you really think for a second I’d leave you all to yourself? To let you look after yourself alone? Silly woman,” he grinned and pecked the tip of her nose with a soft kiss. “You’re my responsibility, doll. So it’s my responsibility to take care of you this entire week. Haven’t had so much time with you in weeks, so I’m very willing to stay right here where I am.”
YN blinked slowly, comprehending his words, and sniffled a bit as tears tried to rise in her eyes. “You really stay here?” She couldn’t understand the luck she had to have Bucky at her side. But his nod showed her that he meant it. “You can bet on it. You will be so sick of me after these seven days,” he chuckled and let her cuddle tightly into his chest. “Not possible,” she whispered, and within a few seconds, Bucky felt her body getting heavier in his arms and all he did was hold her while she slept off the adrenaline and panic from earlier.
;
As already mentioned, this was entirely selfish to write because I really needed that. But still, I hope y’all enjoyed it at least a bit :3 As usual: comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!
taglist: @seasonofthenerd @onecrazydirectioner @meeksmusic83 @nyctophilic0vitnir
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel, Bucky Barnes - Fandom, James Buchanan Barnes - Fandom, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: bucky x reader - Relationship, Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, James Buchanan Barnes x Reader, James Buchanan Barnes x Fem!Reader Characters: James Buchanan Barnes, You Additional Tags: mentions of other marvel characters - Freeform, I don't wanna give away too much, Raising kids, Third Person POV for Y/N, Love, Falling In Love, Angst, Smut, emotional smut, holiday theme, christmas theme, romania - Freeform, romanian holiday traditions Word count: 11,639 (oopsies) Summary: Revisiting Bucky and iubțică a year after his return. Notes: This is the long awaited follow-up to The Fire Within. Also, thank you @jewelsrulz​ for beta reading this piece for me. Excerpt under the cut...
... Even now, Bucky can see his mother’s furrowed brows and hand-on-hip stance and the warning behind her ice-blue eyes. Winifred Barnes hadn’t been an imposing figure. In fact, by the age of twelve, Bucky had stood equal in height to his Ma. But a mother’s force doesn’t come from height, that much he’d learned that day. Bucky chuckles, mind veiled in nostalgic fog. He still remembers, actually can visualize the tilt of his mother’s head and the “not even god can help you now” lifted brow, ghostly feel the crumbs between his fingers from when he’d dropped the cookie back into the jar. How much he misses his mother. How much he wishes she could see him now. He ventures she would only smirk at the generational similarity. Even on his last day on American soil, she’d managed to tell him that one day, he’d understand his mother’s heart. Understand that wanting a child healthy, strong, and safe will come above all else, no matter the age, no matter the distance. “Ma. Please don’t cry. Please?” “One day, you’ll have kids. Then you’ll understand.” “I know, Ma.” “Come back to us.” “I’ll try my best.” “Write us.” “I will. Promise.” “I love you, James.” “I love you, too, Ma.” “Give ‘em hell! You hear me! Give ‘em hell or else they’ll have me to deal with!” “Ma. I gotta go. Ship is leaving in ten…” “I mean it! You think I don’t mean it. Watch me!” “Ma!” Bucky laughs softly under his breath, his mother’s fierce eyes still clear in his mind from when she’d bid one last farewell, all with a boxing-fist-motion and a mouthed repeat of “Give. Em. Hell!!!” Oh, if only wars were fought by mothers, there would’ve been peace on earth many millennia ago… Bucky sighs… He does understand. In just a little over a year, he’s learned what it means to want his child healthy, strong, and safe. And right now, Bucky wishes he could tell his mother that she’d been right, wishes he could hear her say “I told you so”, wishes he could see his mother’s reactions to her grandson doing all the same things that Bucky used to do. He guesses, she’d be very, VERY amused… “Papa!” Just like that Bucky is back in the now. Little feet close in fast and Bucky braces himself, hides underneath the duvet just in time to hear hard taps change to quiet pats. “Papa?” Bucky pretends to be asleep, tries his hardest not to burst out laughing when he feels his son crawl beneath the covers. “Papa, wake up.” Jamie pokes his father’s cheek, but Bucky holds steady. “Papa?” The boy carefully lifts one of Bucky’s eyelids and all hell breaks loose. Roaring, screaming, high-pitched laughter. “Papa! Let go!” Jamie squeals in his father’s hold and Bucky laughs, tickles his son until the boy can’t breathe. Until an exasperated “James Andrei Barnes!” makes father and son freeze on the spot, noise traded for whispers. “What did you break?” “I didn’t break it.” “Then what did you take apart?” Bucky squints and the boy’s lips twist. “Come on. Spit it out.” “It was already broke.” “Jamie! We talked about this. Now what did you take apart?” ...
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Always (Part 4)
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(Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader)
Warnings :- Mentions of violence, Excessive use of Y/n and commas, Language.
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Wanda quickly got out of her car and knocked on the door. “Hey, Wan- What happened? You look worried”, Y/n said. “Steveisbeatingbuckytodeathandeveryoneistryingtostophim”, Wanda said. “Woah Woah, slow down”, Y/n said. “Steve is beating Bucky to death and everyone is trying to stop him”, Wanda said (slowly this time) as Y/n gasped. “What?!!!”, She said. “Yeah, it's true”, Wanda said. “Get in the car, I'm driving”, Y/n said. They both quickly got in the car. “I'm coming, bitches”, Y/n whispered under her breath while starting the car. They both drove off, the only things in their mind - Bucky and Steve.
A/n :- This was a short one (again). Lemme know how was this and/or if you wanna be added to the taglist.
Taglist :- @dovahkinskillman , @sdftyghuijkk , @matchat3a
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navybrat817 · 1 month
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Just Like That
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky suggests staying in a hotel together before an undercover mission, which would be fine if you didn't have a massive crush on the super soldier. Word Count: Almost 5k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, pining, flirting, slight possessive behavior, talk of undercover mission, "only one bed" trope, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: A combination of @targaryenvampireslayer's Blind Date Writing Challenge and my Bucky Barnes Smut Menu, courtesy of @ellemj. "Only One Bed" Trope and the dialogue prompt in bold italics. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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The engagement ring on your finger suited you. Not large or overly flashy, the single diamond radiated a subtle sparkle. It was beautiful and a perfect fit, a representation of the unifying love of marriage. When you looked at it under the light, it was almost as if you could feel the love that Bucky had for you.
If only that were the case.
“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” You asked, taking a seat at the table across from Bucky.
“So we can practice and make sure we’re a convincing couple,” he replied.
You sighed as you glanced around the hotel room for the umpteenth time. A small sitting area, a dining and kitchen combination, a single bathroom, and a bedroom. When you pointed out that there was only one bed, Bucky reminded you of the expectation that the two of you had to sleep together while on assignment since you were going on a couple's retreat. Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have a crush on him, right?
Right.
You were completely enamored with Bucky Barnes, the handsome former assassin turned agent for the revamped SHIELD. Instacrush wasn't something you experienced often, so he took you by surprise. It was pathetic to fall for him so hard and quickly. It had to be some sort of karma or divine intervention that you were with him in a hotel room.
Just the two of you.
“You know,” he began, wetting his lips as he leaned back in his chair. You blinked, only because you didn't want him to call you out on staring. “You don't have to look so miserable to be here. Is my company that terrible?”
“What? No. Bucky, you aren't terrible company,” you promised, slumping a bit in your chair. The last thing you wanted to do was upset him. “Just been a bit since I've been in a relationship and I’m kind of rusty.”
“You're talking to a guy who hasn't been on a real date since the 40s,” he deadpanned.
He had a point. Plus, from what you understood, Bucky wasn't exactly interested in dating anyone. Every time Steve or Natasha suggested he go on a date, he found a way to brush it off or change the subject.
Even if he was interested in dating, did he think of you as anything beyond a colleague?
Taking this assignment may have been a mistake.
“I’m just not sure I’m the right one for this job,” you said.
“You’re perfect for this job. Why would you think otherwise?”
You froze like a deer in headlights, even as his compliment warmed your heart. It meant a lot that he thought you would do the job well. But how were you supposed to answer that question? That you adored him and it would be torture to pretend to be with him for a week just to back to being coworkers after?
“We should practice,” you suggested instead of giving him an answer. The backstory wasn't overly elaborate, but you had to get it right.
He leaned forward, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Did someone say something to make you think you wouldn't be good for this assignment?” He asked in a low voice. “Because I'll straighten them out.”
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from whimpering. The thought of him putting someone in their place to make you feel better was swoon-worthy. “No, Bucky. No one said anything. You're right. I’m good for this,” you said before you added, “We’re good together.”
You couldn't read the look he gave you and it became more difficult not to squirm under his gaze. “Yeah,” he whispered, leaning back and clearing his throat. “So. We’re engaged. Going to a resort for a much needed vacation. We’ll have to mingle with some of the guests in between investigating the owner. One of the first questions will be how we met.”
With an exhale, you recited, “We met at a coffee shop. We both ordered the same drink.”
“An iced caramel macchiato,” he said.
“And we reached for the drink at the same time,” you smiled, making a show out of reaching for the glass on the table. “Our fingers touched first. Our eyes met second.”
“And I immediately asked you out,” he smiled.
Your heart swelled. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world when he smiled like that. “You did,” you said, trying to blink the longing from your eyes. “We went to dinner and talked a bit about ourselves. You told me you're a mechanic and I told you I’m a teacher. And once dinner was over, we went back to that same coffee shop and we shared an iced caramel macchiato.”
“Even proposed to you at the same shop,” he said, gesturing to your left hand. “But I actually got the ring after our first date because I knew I wanted you to be my girl,” he said with such conviction that you found it hard to breathe.
The way his eyes softened as he gazed at you, you found yourself believing him for a moment. You had to stay rooted in realism though. The point of the mission besides the actual mission was to act as if you two were crazy about each other.
Not that you had to do any acting on your part.
You cleared your throat and pulled your hand back from the glass. “If only that were true,” you said, absentmindedly twisting the ring around your finger. You weren't cynical about love, but this whole thing was a reminder that you were single and alone.
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Heat crept up your neck. You shouldn't have said anything. “I mean, it just would've been nice if we met at a coffee shop,” you replied to avoid saying you wanted to be his girl.
“What’s wrong with how we met?” He asked, crossing his arms.
The metal arm gleamed under the light. You noticed that he had a tendency to wear long sleeves and gloves whenever he was in the building, but seeing him with his sleeve pushed up and missing glove? You would almost say he was comfortable around you.
Again, he had to play the part right.
You pulled yourself from your thoughts when he said your name, which sounded like it melted on his tongue. It made you press your thighs together. You needed to stay professional. “Do you not remember what happened or are you just being nice?” You asked.
Months ago, the day you met Bucky, Steve informed you that he planned to introduce you to him after he came back from a long assignment. Not only were you excited to meet one of his best friends and a great soldier, but you had wanted to make a good impression on him. What you did was make an ass out of yourself when you turned the corner only to smack right into the former Winter Soldier.
And splattered your beverage on both of you in the process.
Instacrush and a horrible impression on your part.
Bucky’s lips curled in a smile as your eyes widened. “You do remember,” you said, wadding up a nearby napkin and tossing it at his face, which he easily caught. “Oh, my God! That’s why you chose ‘coffee shop' for this, didn't you?”
You concentrated so much on getting the backstory right that it didn't occur to you that he was maybe poking fun at you. He wasn't the kind of guy that liked making others feel bad though. Tease you, sure. Outright make fun of you at the risk of hurting your feelings? He would never.
“Hey, I didn't choose how we met, but I also didn't object,” he said, raising his hands in surrender when you went to throw another napkin at him. “And I wouldn't forget meeting you, doll. You make a lasting impression.”
You wished you had done something to make him remember you besides spilling a drink on him. “I guess making an idiot out of myself is a lasting impression,” you teased.
Something dark flashed in his eyes, making your breath hitch. “That’s not what I meant. You didn't make an idiot out of yourself and I don't like you thinking that or talking down about yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, not used to someone getting so defensive at your self-depreciation. There was something sexy and heartwarming about it. “You were very nice about the whole incident.”
“You were nice, too,” he said, gesturing to his torso. “I mean, you offered to buy me a new shirt.”
“Because I spilled my drink on it! I felt bad,” you said.
“And when I said you didn't have to buy me a new shirt, you said, ‘Are you sure I can't pay for the dry cleaning at least, Sergeant Barnes?’” he said in a falsetto voice.
He chuckled when you rolled your eyes. “I don't sound like that, first of all, and I was being considerate,” you said. You couldn't believe he remembered your exact words. “And you just gave me that half confused smile of yours before I grabbed napkins for both of us to clean up.”
“You mean this?” He asked, his lips stretching in that familiar awkward grin.
“Yeah, that,” you giggled, your heart doing that funny flip that happened far too often around him.
In the beginning, whenever you smiled at him, he gave you that very look in return. Somewhere along the way, the uncomfortable glances on his end became genuine fondness. It didn't mean anything though.
Just an agent being kind to another agent.
Bucky stared at you as you continued to giggle at the memory. “I’m sorry. I just-”
“I love your laugh,” he said, almost making you choke on your own breath. Nothing like forgetting how to be a human and breathe. “And your smile.”
Maybe he had switched back into practice mode. “You do?” You asked, playing along as you smiled directly at him.
He swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, I do,” he replied, his voice thick as he unfolded his arms. “You know, you're one of the people that actually smiles at me. And you look me in the eye when you talk to me.”
“Why wouldn't I?”
“Because some people are still afraid of me,” he whispered.
Your heart sank. He was a good man. A hero wrongly painted as a villain. It wasn't fair what he went through and you had no reason to fear him.
Why couldn't everyone else see the good in him?
“I’m not afraid of you, Bucky,” you promised. And after what he went through, frightening people was the last thing he would do. “Never have been. Never will be.”
“Maybe you should be,” he muttered, some of the light leaving his eyes.
Your eyes narrowed as you tempered the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Seeing this vulnerable side of him also brought out your protective instinct. “Listen to me. You’re amazing and a good man, okay? And if I don't get to call myself an idiot for spilling a drink on you, then you don't get to say I should be scared of you, Sergeant Barnes,” you said with an air of finality.
He gave you an impressed smile. “Just like that? Because those are totally different things you're comparing.”
“Just like that,” you said, putting your hand on the table for him to take if he wished. “Do you trust that I'll have your back on this mission? Because I trust that you'll have mine no matter what.”
He stared at your upturned hand for a moment before he took it. “You're one of the only people I do trust,” he admitted.
His eyes bore into yours as you tried to find the words to respond. He wasn’t feeding you a line to make you feel good about yourself. Bucky Barnes trusted you.
“Then trust me when I say we got this,” you promised. You would look out for him and let him know that he hadn’t misplaced his trust in you.
“Why don't you have a boyfriend?” He asked suddenly.
The switch in topic jarred you, but he didn’t let go of your hand. “That’s. I’m. What? How is that relevant?”
It wasn't smooth, but it was better than blurting out that your hopeless crush on him was one of the major factors.
“I’m curious,” he shrugged.
“Oh. Well. My last boyfriend dumped me for being an agent. Seriously, he didn't like the fact that I could kick his ass if I wanted to,” you told him, squeezing his hand without meaning to. He didn’t object. “Which I wouldn't.”
“You could kick my ass if you wanted to,” he winked. Physically, Bucky was broad and strong. You weren’t sure you could take him in a real fight, but you could take him another way if he ever offered. “And your ex sounds like an asshole if he can’t stand beside and support an amazing woman.”
You smiled humorlessly. “Thanks, Bucky, but I’m not-”
“I swear to fuck if you talk down about yourself again, I will put you over my knee,” he threatened, his eyes darker than they were seconds ago.
You didn’t laugh as he stared at you. Neither did he. Your clothes suddenly felt too heavy, your body too warm. Licking your lips, you couldn’t stop yourself from saying, “Is that a promise?”
Bucky pushed his chair back and pointed at his thigh, his eyes still on you. “Get over here and find out.”
Oh, fuck.
The sound of Bucky’s phone ringing snapped you both out of whatever spell you two were under. “Shit,” he muttered, taking his hand from yours. “It’s Steve. I better-”
“Yeah, you should answer that,” you said, almost knocking the chair over as you stood. “I think I'm going to call it a night.”
“Wait, what?” He asked, answering the phone. “Hold on, punk,” he said, covering the screen as he looked at you. “You’re going to bed now?”
Guilt settled in your stomach at the hurt in his eyes. “Just going to lay down. I may not go to sleep right away. And we can practice more in the morning,” you replied. You just needed to step out of the room and take a breath.
He waited a beat before he nodded, the tension still lingering. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” you nodded, leaving him alone so he could talk to Steve.
You splashed a bit of water on your face when you went to the bathroom to change. The assignment hadn’t started and you couldn’t keep your cool. With squinted eyes, you pointed at your reflection and mentally scolded yourself. Yes, you wanted Bucky Barnes and maybe, just maybe, some part of him wanted you. At least, he wanted you enough to put you over his knee.
You couldn't have him though. Could you? Mixing business with pleasure could lead to complications if you crossed that line, but it wasn’t like you’d break some major bylaw by being his girl.
Now wasn’t the time to think about that.
“Get your shit together,” you hissed, rushing through your nighttime routine and changing into your comfortable yet sexy nightgown.
Your eyes went to the bed when you left the bathroom. Just a regular hotel bed. Inviting, but not overly frilly. Large enough for the both of you, but small enough that you might end up in each other’s arms.
“It’s going to be a long night,” you muttered.
Sighing, you left a light on for Bucky to see and crawled into bed, shutting your eyes as he wrapped up his call with Steve. You tried to block out the sound of his footsteps as he made his way to the bathroom. Maybe his nighttime routine would take a bit longer than you thought and you could drift off and wake up to the sight of his beautiful eyes and-
The bed dipped as Bucky curled up behind you, your eyes opening when he placed his arm around your waist and pulled you back against him. You were conscious of every shift in his body, every breath he took. How you could smell his lingering cologne as he pressed himself closer. How he ran warmer than you and you wanted him to heat you up even though you weren’t cold.
And that he wasn’t wearing a fucking shirt.
“I know you aren’t sleeping,” he whispered, his fingers brushing along the fabric that covered your skin. “Your heart’s beating too fast.”
He was right. It was about ready to burst through your chest. “Can’t sleep.”
“Why not?” He asked, helping you roll over so you were on your back. He didn’t remove his hand though. “Did my ‘threat’ make you uncomfortable?”
“No, it didn't,” you assured him, heat pooling between your legs that you couldn't prevent. “I wouldn't have continued with the banter if I was uncomfortable.”
“Just making sure,” he said. “I was only teasing.”
You huffed out a laugh in an effort to cover up the crushing feeling in your chest, your arousal fading to a dull ache. “Of course, you were,” you uttered. Teasing. Nothing more. “Good night, Bucky,” you said, turning your head away.
He brought a hand to your cheek and brought your face back toward him. How did his eyes look so blue in the faint light? “Don’t go to sleep yet, please.”
“Why not?”
“You rushed to bed and now you're shutting down. I clearly said or did something wrong,” he sighed, which made you feel bad. He hadn't done anything wrong in your eyes since it wasn’t his fault you wanted his teasing to mean something. “I need to fix it.”
“There’s nothing to fix because you didn't break anything,” you said, the ring heavy on the finger. “But can I ask for a favor?”
“Of course,” he whispered.
You didn’t dare search out his gaze when you said, “I may need reminders this week that you don't actually have feelings for me.”
A few seconds went by before he asked in a small voice, “What?”
You took a breath to compose yourself. The last thing you needed to do was get upset for no good reason. “We’re going to hold hands and cuddle and share a bed and be a couple, but you may need to give me a reality check now and again that you only see me as an agent. Okay?”
Maybe he’d ask Steve for a new partner in the morning.
“You think I only see you as an agent?” He asked, sighing when you nodded. “I used to be good at this.”
“Good at what?”
“Teasing. Flirting,” he answered, leaning in close. He stopped just before his lips touched yours. “Kissing.”
“Wait. You were flirting with me?” you said, not moving forward or back as you put a hand on his chest. His heart raced as fast as yours. And your brain couldn’t compute that implication that he wanted to kiss you. “You weren’t just practicing for the assignment?”
He huffed out a laugh this time. “You’re killing me, doll,” he whispered, closing the distance.
You imagined Bucky kissing you before, but didn’t think it would ever be so soft. His lips barely brushed against yours, but it felt like the beginning of something more. It tempted you like nothing else ever had. He must’ve felt it, too, since he deepened it. You melted. You surrendered.
You never stood a chance.
“So, you like me?” You asked when he pulled back a little to gaze at you. “I’m sorry. I just need to hear you say it because I really like you and have for months. Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have said that because we have a whole week together for this assignment and now you know and I don't want it to be weird.”
Your mind almost shut down when he gave you a full-blown smile and said, “Yeah, I like you. I thought it was obvious. I tried dropping little hints, talking about your smile and trusting you.” He chuckled almost shyly as his words sank in. “I took this assignment because of you.”
A moment passed before you giggled, happiness blooming in your chest. Bucky Barnes liked you. Wanted you. “Thank fuck,” you breathed, pulling him back down for another kiss.
He groaned, ravaging your mouth as he moved on top of you. His knee pushed your legs apart so he could settle between them, swallowing down your whimpers when he pressed his growing hardness against your pussy. He ground his hips, your panties soaked as his tongue tangled with yours. The man kissed you like he had something to prove.
Like he wanted to own you.
His muscles rippled as he leaned up and grasped the bottom of your nightie. The vision of him above you like this was now engraved in your mind. “If you want me to stop, I will.”
Sleeping with him was moving fast considering you just confessed your feelings for each other, but you didn't care. “Don't stop,” you whispered, quivering as he tugged the fabric over your head.
Your hands moved up to cover your chest before he gripped your wrists. “Are you trying to hide from me?” He questioned, his smirk playful in comparison to the uncertainty in his gaze.
You didn't want him doubting himself or your want for him for a second.
“Maybe? I mean, look at you and look at…”
You wouldn't knock on your looks since you were generally confident in your appearance, but the super soldier was an entirely different level of gorgeous. He towered over even the largest of agents, with the exception of Steve, and his dark lashes framing his steel eyes were enough to pull you under.
And who were you compared to him? Just another agent. Average.
“Don't,” he whispered, releasing a wrist so he could cup your breast. You arched your back and any uncertainty in his eyes before faded when a moan escaped your lips. “You're so fucking beautiful.”
The praise almost made your eyes water as he brought his head down, losing focus when he swept his tongue across your nipple. Your eyes fluttered shut as he did it again, a wave from a sea of ecstasy crashing over you. Your heart thudded faster, addicted to the feel of his sinful mouth.
“You’re the reason I don't have a boyfriend,” you whined, your fingers twisting in his hair. Why did you say that?
He smirked against your skin before he reached down and tore your panties away. “I haven't gone on a date because of you.”
Your body throbbed with need as you met his gaze. “You're just saying that to get in my pants,” you joked.
His eyes raked down your body, stopping between your trembling thighs as he pushed his pants and underwear down. “If I had my way, I would've taken you out first,” he said, drawing a moan from you when he wrapped a hand around his thick cock. “But all I can think about right now is how loud you’ll say my name when I make you come.”
“Bucky,” you moaned, tempted to reach down and touch yourself to the sight of him.
“Louder than that,” he said smugly, rubbing the tip of his cock along your slick folds. “Fuck, I wanna take my time and explore you. Make you feel like a goddess. Treat you the way you deserve.”
It warmed your heart and sent another wave of desire through you knowing he wanted to take care of you. “I know you'll treat me well,” you smiled, opening your legs wider. “But for now, please, fuck me.”
He didn't ask about birth control, which you were on. You didn't ask about condoms. It didn't matter. You wanted to feel all of him.
You glanced down as he lined himself up, watching as he slowly eased into you. It was overwhelming as you took every inch, your mouth falling open with a moan. You floated in a cloud of lust, the sound of his groan reaching your ears.
“Look at me,” he ordered as he bottomed out.
Your eyes flew to his as he gripped your chin. The feel of him inside you, his eyes staring so intently into yours that he practically touched your soul. It was almost too much. And that was when he began to move, the weight of his body on top of yours as he fucked you in slow and deep thrusts. It was the kind of lovemaking that would make you crave more.
Crave him.
“Knew you'd take me well,” he grunted. You whined, the praise going straight to your core as you tightened around his thick cock. Your walls couldn't stop gripping him as he slid in and out. “Knew your pussy would be greedy for me. Won’t let me go.”
Your head fell back against the pillow, dizzy as he trapped your body under his. As he rolled his hips, you wondered if he’d let you ride him at some point. Maybe he’d fuck up into you as he brought your hips down. Or maybe he’d lay back and cup your breasts, let the weight bounce in his hands as you took all of him.
You’d take whatever he gave you.
The growing pleasure within you was like you were burning from the inside out, each movement from him stoking the flames. His low groans mixed with your whines, his thrusts increasing in speed when he brought his thumb to your clit. Your hand worked its way back into his hair as you cried out his name, your control slipping further and further away as he took over.
“Just like that,” he moaned. “Don’t hold back on me. Wanna hear every pretty sound you make.”
“Bucky, I'm gonna…” you trailed off, your orgasm building fast in your core and ready to burst.
“Come,” he finished for you, a filthy smirk on his face as he laced his fingers with yours.
One more thrust and you were gone, his name falling from your lips as you came. Your mouth stayed open as you spasmed, pleasure rushing from head to toe. You panted and didn't care if you'd ever properly breathe again. That was how good it felt.
“I’m close, doll,” he gritted, resembling a growl as he continued to fuck you and chase his release. “Gonna come inside you. Gonna own you.”
“Come inside me, Bucky,” you begged, watching through half-lidded eyes as his face contorted in ecstasy. It was such an erotic sight. “Please.”
He buried himself deep with a long moan as he filled you in hot, thick spurts, nuzzling his face in your neck when he finished. He said your name as he heavily breathed against your neck and it was the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. You wrapped your arms around him when he stayed inside you, not at all bothered as your mixed release slowly trickled out.
You didn't want him to let you go.
“Well,” you huffed, a dopey smile on your face as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I don't think we’ll have a problem convincing people we care about each other.”
He chuckled, kissing your warm skin. “And we won't have a problem sharing a bed,” he said, keeping you close as you yawned. “Sleep, doll. I’ve got you.”
“I’ve got you, too,” you said, feeling him smile against you as you drifted off.
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The delicious ache between your thighs was the second thing you noticed when you woke up. The first, of course, was Bucky’s arm and leg draped over you: warm, protective, perfect. He was still fast asleep, the blanket pooled around his waist, completely at ease with the world. You could get used to waking up like this.
You hesitated before you touched his cheek, not wanting to wake him as you kissed his forehead. You wished you had time to kiss every scar on his body and worship him the way he said he wanted to worship you. The two of you would have to leave the bed sooner or later. There was work to do.
“Mmm. Morning,” he said, his voice laced with sleep as he cracked an eye open.
“Morning,” you whispered, cuddling closer as he brought your hand to his mouth and kissed over the ring. The motion made you brush against his crotch and you were close enough to hear the hitch in his breath. You did it again, keeping your gaze innocent as he opened his eyes more and groaned.
Yes, there was work to do, but it was still early.
“You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?” He teased.
“Yeah, I’m still horny,” you replied. Waking up next to him would arouse anyone. “Need you to fuck me again.”
“You won’t be able to walk if I fuck you again,” he smirked, rolling on top of you and digging his fingers into your waist.
“Should’ve known you’d be a cocky boyfriend,” you teased back, your heart thundering in your chest as he leaned down and skimmed kisses along your jaw. “Sorry, we didn’t put a label on this and there’s still stuff to figure out and the mission and-”
“Hey. Boyfriend, your man, whatever you want to call me, I’m yours,” he cut you off, his mouth drifting to your neck. “And I still owe you a date, got it? You’re my girl. You’re mine.”
“I'm yours,” you gasped when he nipped your skin hard enough to sting, his tongue soothing it after. You were his and he was yours. “So, we're a couple now? Just like that?” You smiled as he worked his way back to your lips.
Bucky answered you with a kiss. “Just like that.”
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I struggled a bit with this one after having to scrap almost 2k and go in another direction, but I ended up falling in love with it. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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“Don’t you love me?” | Bucky Barnes
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 -> Soft!Dark!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -> Bucky asks you for play with your pussy a little longer because he just loves it.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 -> 568
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 -> 18+, Minors DNI, smut, using of a toy, overstimulation, manipulation
𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 -> Gimme soft!dark!bucky + sex toys please, I need my man as I build my drawers❤️ @imtryingbuck
𝐀/𝐍 -> Filthy, Soft!Dark!Bucky for you, bestie. Hope you enjoy. And Enzo could build the drawers with you together.😂❤️
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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“Give me one more, doll. I know you can do it.”
You shake your head, sweat running down the sides of your head. Your body is shaking, and you're overstimulated. Only whimpers and broken moans are leaving your lips while the toy he holds tightly in his hand is pressed against your clit. His other hand, grabbing your waist, is holding you in place. Bucky sits on his knees between your legs, smirking at you, while he looks from your pussy into your eyes and back at your pussy.
“Don’t you love me? Would you love me then you would come for me again.”
Bucky removes the toy from your clit and you take a shaky breath. His blue eyes roam over your body until he reaches your face. He pouts and looks so disappointed that you don’t love him. Or at least not as much as he loves you because you don’t want to come again for him. Not even when it’s what he loves so much to see your eyes roll back and your slightly parted lips. The way you grip the sheets or his arm when your walls clench violently, he adores your red cheeks, and the way you scream his name while moans leave your lips. But don’t you love him enough to do what he is asking for - just one more orgasm this night.
“Bucky, please. Don’t look at me like that.”
“But you don’t love me.”
“I-I do love you. B-but-“
“Then let me make you come once again,” he says, pleading with the way he looks at you.
You shake your head, tears filling your eyes. You love Bucky, you really do, but your pussy is so sensitive already. You don’t know if you could handle another orgasm just yet.
“Please, doll.”
Bucky will make you come if you say yes or no. But he will be gentle when you give him permission to make you come once again. He isn’t someone who asks, and especially not someone who says 'please', but with you, he is a softie sometimes. Seeing the way your eyes light up when he is all soft and lovely to you warms his heart. But in bed, he still prefers to be in control, making sure you know who you belong to. He leans closer, kissing your tears away, then he kisses along your jawline. His eyes are still focused on yours while he waits for you to answer his question. And you do when you nod your head softly, giving him permission to make you come once again.
“That’s my good girl. So pretty! I love when you come for me. Then we can take a nice, warm bath. I will take good care of you and of my pretty pussy, doll.”
He then smirks and places the toy against your clit, turning it on and enjoying the way your back arches. Your fingers dig into the sheet, and your eyes roll back. The softest moans leave your lips; your pussy hurts, but the pleasure that is growing in your belly is way too good to make him stop playing with your clit.
"Please, c-can I come?” You ask, breathless, but he shakes your head.
“Let me enjoy my view a bit longer, doll. You’re doing so good for me. Such a good girl. I love you so much. Look at her; she is dripping; she needs my attention,” he says in awe and looks at your entrance, which is glistening from your arousal.
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Let Me Help You
Pairing: Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series
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You knew something was off with Bucky the moment he came home. He kept rubbing his left shoulder, a deep grimace on his face.
You asked him what was wrong and he brushed it off saying it was just a tough mission. You didn't want to push him, so you let it go. You curled into his side on the couch, reading a book as he played with your hair.
And then he winced. Once. Twice. You've just about had it when he winces again. For the third time.
You snap your book shut. "Alright, that's it!"
"What?"
"Take off your shirt," you order.
Bucky quirks an eyebrow, a smirk slightly tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Really?"
"What? No!" You playfully swat his chest. "You're obviously in pain!"
“Aw…” Bucky dismissively waves his hand at you. "It's not that bad."
"It's been bugging you since you got back."
"I just overdid it a little. I'm fine." Even as the words leave his mouth, you can tell he's fighting back another wince.
"It's hard to see you like this."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine!" you insist. "I know you don't like other people seeing your arm, and I know you've said no to trying physical therapy, so if you're not going to go ask for help then just let me try to help you. Please?"
He deeply sighs, but considering that even the small rise and fall of his shoulders is sending pain radiating all through his shoulder, he's pretty sure he does need your help. "Fine..."
Your fingers trail over the metal plate holding his arm in place. As you flip the release trigger, he grits his teeth, a huff of relief leaving his lips as the vibranium arm detaches from the joint.
"Baby..." Your voice wavers slightly. It makes you want to cry for him. "It's really swollen. This had to have been bothering you."
"I'm used to it," he grumbles.
Your heart clenches for him. That was the problem. He was used to it. Far too used to pain. Far too used to dealing with it on his own. "I'm gonna go grab you some ice."
You return with an ice pack in hand moments later. He hisses as the coolness presses against his scarred flesh.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," he nods. "Thank you."
"All I did was grab an ice pack."
He grabs your unoccupied hand, kissing your palm, "No, thank you for caring. Sometimes, I forget that I'm not alone anymore."
"You'll never be alone. Not as long as I'm here." You press a gentle, feather light kiss to his shoulder, "From now on, promise you'll tell me when your arm's bothering you?"
He hums as your hand gently kneads his shoulder blade, soothing away the radiating ache and pain, "I promise."
AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series
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imtryingbuck · 6 months
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Told you I’ll always come back
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~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them
Word count: 7,772
Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around
Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)
Masterlist
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When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.
That had been two weeks ago.
Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.
“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.
The sky was a visual of her emotions.
Dull.
Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.
“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12” 
“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”
“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.
Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”
“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”
The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.
Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.
“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.
The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.
“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“
“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.
“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”
“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.
“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”
“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.
“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”
“Yes”
“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”
“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.
“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.
Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”
“Oh we will do sweetheart”
Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”
“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”
Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”
Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.
“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.
“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.
“No, I’m not staying here.”
“Where?”
“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.
Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.
After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.
It didn’t happen.
“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.
“What are you going to do huh?”
“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”
“Okay okay I’ll stop”
•••
“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”
“Sorry.”
“Can’t you just carry me?”
“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”
•••
“Y/n will you marry me?”
“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”
•••
“Natty get your bum out of bed”
“Don’t want too”
“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”
“Yess!”
•••
“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”
“Sam what’s happening?”
“Come!”
She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.
•••
“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”
“Y/n/n your drunk”
“I know”
“Why you sad for?”
“I don’t know”
•••
“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”
“Why do you want to beat him up?”
“Because… leave me alone”
•••
“Thor guess what?”
“What?”
“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”
“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”
•••
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-
Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.
The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.
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Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.
Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.
“You could of come inside you know”
“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.
Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.
“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.
“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.
“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”
“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”
“Why? She’s a tra-“
“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them. 
“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”
“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.
“We’ve got their location-“
“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”
“We need them alive so we can question them”
“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.
“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.
Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“
Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.
His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.
He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.
But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-
His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.
A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.
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“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.
“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”
“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“
“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”
They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.
After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.
She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.
The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.
Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.
The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.
“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.
“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.
“She loves them though” He chuckles.
Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”
“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”
That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.
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A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.
Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.
Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.
“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend. 
Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.
“I-it’s ok-okay”
“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.
“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”
“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.
When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”
“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”
“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.
“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.
Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.
“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.
Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.
“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.
She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.
“No! N-no don’t!”
“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.
“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.
“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.
“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”
“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.
“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.
“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.
“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley. 
The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.
“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness. 
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“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.
“I need to le-leave”
“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”
“I’m leavi-“
“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.
“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”
“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.
“Bu-“
“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.
The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.
She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.
Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.
“-your concern Scottie”
“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.
“Friend” Bucky scoffs.
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“I see the way you look at her”
“Don’t be stu-“
“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.
“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”
“I’m fine”.
Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.
“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.
Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”
“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.
“…fine. It was Sharon.”
“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.
“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.
The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.
“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.
“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.
“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.
“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”
“I’m so-“
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”
Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.
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*Four years ago.*
The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.
“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.
“Yeah I might”
And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.
“What the hell is that noise?”
Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“
“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.
“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.
It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.
“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.
“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.
“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.
Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.
The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.
Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.
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*Seven months after.*
Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.
It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.
Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.
At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly. 
It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.
“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.
“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.
“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.
Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.
Hydra.
She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.
Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.
For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-
“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.
Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.
“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”
“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.
‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.
“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“
Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.
“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.
Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.
“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.
One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.
She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.
“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.
“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”
“I’m coming in okay”
Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.
“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.
A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”
“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”
“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.
“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.
“Who the hell is Simon?”
“The leader, the first one you killed”
“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.
“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”
It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.
“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”
“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.
“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.
“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.
Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”
“No shit Sherlock”
“Whose is it?”
“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.
“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.
“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.
“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”
Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”
“Y-you’re having twins?”
“Yep”
Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.
It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.
Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“
The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.
“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”
“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.
“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.
The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”
“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”
“He wouldn’t do that to me!”
“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”
She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.
Her waters splashing onto the floor.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.
With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.
The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.
“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.
Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.
Even after the gun kept clicking.
“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.
Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.
Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.
“Hi love, we’ll b-“
“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.
“We’re on our way!”
“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.
Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.
Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.
“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.
“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.
Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.
It shouldn’t have surprised them really.
“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.
“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.
“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.
“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”
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*two months before Fury rings her*
Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.
Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.
As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.
“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”
“Shut up”.
“Feisty”
After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.
When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.
“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.
“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”
“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”
The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”
“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”
“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“
“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”
“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“
“It pays the bills” She shrugs.
Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”
“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”
“We need to tell the Aveng-“ 
“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”
Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.
Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”
“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.
“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.
“About?”
“Your old team” 
Her heart stops.
“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.
“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”
“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.
“Why aren’t they going after John?”
John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.
Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.
Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).
Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.
Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.
Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.
John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.
Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.
Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD. 
That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.
“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”
“Oh…”
“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”
Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”
“No I know-“
“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.
“But that’s not tr-“
“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”
Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.
“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.
“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”
“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”
“Deal.”
Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.
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*Back to the present*
The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.
“Hey”
“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.
“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”
Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.
“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.
“Of course. Hi babies”
“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.
“Guess what bubbas!”
“What” Logan asked.
“Momma loves you both, so so much!”
“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.
“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”
“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.
They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.
She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.
In dire need of sleep.
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The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different. 
It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.
“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”
“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”
“Yes boss” All answer.
“Well, good luck everyone”.
On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.
Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.
“Y/n can we talk?”
“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”
“We need to apologise Y/n/n”
The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”
The quinjet fell silent once again.
That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”
Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”
“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”
“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”
“We-I didn-“
“Awesome.”
“What?”
“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”
“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.
“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”
“There’s always a choice” He spat back.
“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”
“Why did you do it?”
“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.
“We’re nearly here Miss”.
“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”
The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.
Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.
They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.
After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.
“What the hell?” Tony asks.
The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.
As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.
She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.
“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.
Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.
The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.
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Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.
When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.
“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.
Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.
“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”
Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.
“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”
“You won’t try anything stupid?”
“No, god no of course not!”
“Then yeah that can be arranged.”
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For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.
His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.
Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.
He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.
The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.
He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.
“Hi babies” A warm voice says.
“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.
Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.
She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.
“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.
“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.
He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.
“I still love you Y/n/n”
“I still love you Bucky”
The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other. 
Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.
“I told you I’ll always come back”
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~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
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wwilsonbarness · 9 months
Text
i messed up...
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pairings:  bucky barnes x pregnant!reader
summary: you go against what you and bucky agreed, how will he react?
warnings: angst, pregnant reader, asshole bucky, none more i think?
word count: 1219
a/n: Bucky's a major ass in this but i have part two started if anyone is interested :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
part 2
masterlist
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You didn’t mean to mess up this bad, you just wanted a normal day, a day where you could leave the tower alone without an Avenger there to protect you. 
You knew what you signed up for when you and Bucky became official. He had told you so many times that being with him put you at risk but you didn’t care, you loved him too much to be without him. He had insisted that since that day you would have someone there to protect you at all times, you knew it was in a loving way it was a lot to handle, and ever since you and Bucky discovered you were pregnant it had only gotten more intense. You knew it was for the better but it was suffocating you, which is why you went to the store alone this morning. It wasn’t far from the tower and you would be back within the hour, surely nothing could happen in that time?
On your walk home your phone started to buzz, and not just once but it kept buzzing until you opened the chat and the messages started loading in. They were from Sam, the first was a picture of you, from just 15 minutes earlier, you were reaching up to the top shelf in the store and your shirt had risen up, making your bump slightly more visible. How someone noticed that you have no idea. The rest of the text messages were fairly calm but the last one made you panic.
Sam
where are you? let me know you’re okay please Y/n are you safe?  He doesn’t know yet. 
Shit. Bucky was going to be furious at you, he had told you so many times not to go out alone because of this very reason. Now everyone was going to know that you and Bucky had a baby coming. You and Bucky had both agreed that you would keep your pregnancy between as few people as possible, for the baby’s safety and now you’ve compromised that. Only the other Avengers, your family and a couple of friends knew about it. 
Unintentionally you slowed your pace for the rest of your walk, sending Sam a quick text to let him know you were safe and on your way back.  You were scared to face Bucky but at least you could tell him yourself before he found out online or by Sam. 
It doesn’t take long even with your slow pace to get back, you hesitantly push the button for your floor, mentally preparing yourself for facing Bucky. He had been especially insistent on keeping your baby away from the public because of his long list of enemies and being a part of the Avengers meant that list was forever growing. 
When the lift dings and the doors open you pause for a second before stepping out, first you check yours and Bucky’s bedroom but it’s empty so you head for the common room. When you walk in Bucky’s there, as well as Sam, Tony, Natasha and Steve. At first glance things look normal, and no one notices you walking in until you speak. “Hi..”
That’s when Bucky turns around, his jaw was clenched together, brows furrowed, anger practically seeping out of him. He knew. You want to apologise but you can’t manage to get any words out. A few seconds pass before Nat’s voice breaks the silence. “Are you okay Y/n?” You nod towards her, fidgeting with your fingers trying to distract yourself from the shouting match you knew was about to begin. You’d seen Bucky angry before but never this much and never because of you. 
“Bucky, I’m so-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence before he interrupted you 
“Did you not listen to anything I said to you? Did you really just ignore everything? I told you this would happen but what? You just did it anyway?“ 
“Buc-“ He wouldn’t listen, his words were spilling out of him. He didn’t even know what he was really saying. He was just so scared and angry at himself for not protecting you and your baby. 
“You’ve seen what the people we deal with can do and you still acted like a complete idiot.” You could hear muffled sounds of Sam and Nat trying to stop him from going any further but all you could focus on was Bucky’s words.  
“No. How could you make such a careless mistake?” 
Your eyes were growing wetter with each word he said but you tried to keep yourself composed. You didn’t feel as if you had any right to be upset, you were the one who messed up. 
“I wasn’t trying to..” You attempt to interrupt him and defend yourself but at this point you knew that was pointless. 
“I mean seriously,” He pauses for a moment, contemplating his next words, “it’s like you don’t care about our baby at all.”
Oh. That one hurt. He had to know you cared right? Your baby was everything to you. Could he really think you didn’t care?
Tony had stayed quiet up until now. “Enough James!” He screeched from behind Bucky, “I won’t let you talk to Y/n like that, either calm down or leave my tower.” 
You knew he was going to be angry at you but you were not prepared for this much of it. Bucky stares at you for a few seconds before he walks out, dropping his head down to your stomach and scoffing as he does so. Now it wasn’t just anger you felt from him, it was disappointment too. 
You can’t bring yourself to move from the spot you’ve been standing in since you arrived, the only thing breaking you out of your trance was someone’s hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure who until they spoke. “Y/n? Are you alright?” 
It was Sam, you manage to turn to him and stutter out, “I‘m sorry.” 
“It’s okay.” He brings his hand up to your head and pulls you gently towards him for a much needed hug. “He’s not angry with you, he’s just scared. It’s gonna be okay.” 
“I just wanted to do something for myself, I don’t want to have to rely on an Avenger everytime I want to go to the store.” 
“I know, he shouldn’t have gotten angry like that. I’m not making any excuses for him but he’s never felt love like he does for you. You and this baby are everything to him, he’s scared to lose you.” 
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Your voice is quiet, almost too quiet but Sam can just hear you.
“I know he will, he just needs some time to cool down.” You nod your head against Sam’s chest, part of you knew Bucky would forgive you but an even bigger part of you believed you had messed up too bad. 
You reach into your bag and take out the small white teddy you bought, when you read the words printed on its tiny outfit you start to cry harder. It read, “Best Dad Ever”, you just hoped Bucky would forgive you so you could give it to him. 
If you could go back to this morning and change your decision you would. You just want things back the way they were. 
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yourmidnightlover · 2 months
Text
the sun
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: after the events of the snap, you find out news that's both heart wrenching and warming. what happens five years later when bucky's back?
warnings: death, mourning, pregnancy, childbirth, canon-typical violence (not much but just adding to cover all the bases), loosely based on end game and infinity war (as in ignore my mistakes lmaooo), if i failed to mention any warnings PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
wc: 2.6k
a/n: dude idk why i've had an urge to write such heart wrenching angst lately. i'm actually in a decent place rn. i tried to cut this fic down bc originally it was SOOOO long i felt like a lot of it was just filler and i feel like shorter fics of mine tend to do better... ANYWHO! this does have a happy/hopeful ending so no worries! also picturing this beefcake for this story is AGHHHHHHH!
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you never thought two lines on a stick could ever break your heart the way they did.
tears clouded your vision as you gripped the counter, trying not to crumble or succumb to your grief.
6 weeks ago, the avengers lost. everything.
half of the world, gone in a moment.
in one moment, your world collapsed. seeing bucky fade to dust right in front of you...
sobs wracked through your body as you crumbled to the ground.
this was supposed to be a happy moment. there should be tears of joy, not sobs of sorrow. your heart should feel full of love, not like there's a super-soldier sized hole in it.
"y/n," nat's voice rang outside the door, giving you a moment to yourself.
"just-," you tried to level your breathing before she opened the door, knowing but not understanding the grief you were feeling.
she wrapped her arms around your body, tucking your head into her neck as she gently rubbed your back soothingly. steve leaned against the bathroom door, glancing on the counter to see what they had all expected.
a positive pregnancy test.
you were having bucky's baby.
without bucky.
you gripped his dog tags that you had been wearing since the funeral. they were the only thing that could truly ground you.
they brought back happy memories of cuddling in bed, the cool metal shocking your skin for only a moment before realizing that it was only bucky and smiling at the memory.
god, it hadn't even been two months.
how were you supposed to do this alone?
"we're here for you," steve's voice called from the doorway, as if he could hear your thoughts. "you'll never be alone. not in this... not ever." he shook his head, his brows furrowed in a serious, straight line.
eventually, your sobs subsided. you stood with nat from your seat on the ground, wiping your own eyes mustering up a pathetic smile before she left you and steve to work out your grief together.
"we didn't even know it was possible," you shrugged. "it's like he sent me them..." you placed your hand on an invisible bump before facing steve, his teary eyes reminding you that he had lost his best friend, too. "he sent us this baby."
you reached your hand out for steve to hold. he took it gratefully and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight and letting only a few tears slip his waterline before pulling back.
"if you'll let me, i want to be there for you for everything," his chin wobbled. "buck would kick my ass if i let you go through this alone." a genuine laugh left your lips for the first time in nearly two months.
"i would be so grateful for that," you nodded as you let go of his arms. "part of me still can't believe that it's real. it's like part of me still expects him to walk into the compound from a long mission or something..." you shook your head. "i know that sounds so stupid."
"it's not," he shook his head with a smile. "it's what i wish was true, maybe it's your subconscious trying to preserve your mind?"
"maybe," you shrugged before continuing, "i should probably talk to tony and bruce, huh?"
-
you knew you were around eight weeks along.
according to the doctors' tony had enlisted, however, you were already 12 weeks along, which was impossible.
bucky had been gone on a mission at that time... but it's whatever. you got to hear the heartbeat. steve went with you, too. you both bawled together. you kept three copies of the ultrasound and he kept two.
banner had already offered to do some testing on the dna of the baby, noting that the serum would likely affect the pregnancy (as it probably already has).
you had talked to tony about retiring from the whole superhero gig for the time being. you needed to mourn and prepare for a new life simultaneously. tony had promised to provide anything you needed at the drop of a hat, and he sure as hell delivered.
within no time, your pregnancy was being measured at 20 weeks while only being pregnant for 12. banner was concerned for your body's ability to keep up with the rapid rate of growth of the baby. he had you on a strict, hefty diet with two different prenatal vitamins in attempt to help your nutrition.
in spite of your best efforts, you were always exhausted and in pain. but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. this was bucky's baby. you didn't care how much pain you went through when you had half of him growing inside of you.
you couldn't walk for long without feeling like passing out, which banner chalked up to low iron. steve had grown progressively more worried for you and the baby the longer the pregnancy went on.
as a result, he had moved into the spare room that was in your and bucky's house. truly, it just made it easier for him to help you finish up the nursery anyway.
he was very handy about it all, painting, building furniture from scratch, the whole deal.
"i've been thinking... and if it's a girl, i want to name her evangeline james barnes," you informed steve as you ate the steak he had been making for the past few weeks of your pregnancy, as ordered by dr. banner. that with carrots, broccoli, potatoes, and for dessert strawberries, blueberries and raspberries over ice cream. "and if it's a boy, cyrus james barnes. evangeline means good news, and cyrus means sun."
steve placed his hand over yours, "i think buck would've loved them." he smiled warmly as you downed the food in a few minutes.
you had begun showing soon after you found out you were pregnant, but now, it felt like it was impossible to hide. nat had been wonderful about helping you keep up with the changes your body was going through, getting you new maternity clothes every week.
she even made sure to get you every single craving that wasn't in accordance to banner's hefty diet. not that he didn't want you to eat more, he thought it was best you did! but he also wanted to make sure that with all that you did eat, your body got as many nutrients as possible.
just to be safe, he kept you on other vitamin supplements anyway.
you couldn't help but imagine what bucky would say or do about everything now.
he would hold your body closely, pressing firm kisses to your bump every chance he could get while whispering some sickly sweet sayings to your unborn child, words that would melt the winter soldier's cold exterior.
he would whisper words of encouragement any moment you felt worried about your abilities to be a mom. he would say how beautiful you were, in spite of being bloated in places you didn't know could bloat.
he would be wonderful, and in your mind, he was still alive and vibrant. well, as vibrant as bucky ever was, at least.
truthfully, that's the only way you were able to keep going on like this. steve was wonderful, but you couldn't help but want the love of your life by your side as you tried to navigate this new chapter.
in a couple more weeks, you were projected to be at 32 weeks. bruce and tony were talking with your doctors about the safety of inducing so early, both for you and the baby.
oh, and you wanted the gender to be a surprise.
and within the week, you were having your baby.
steve and nat were by your side during the birth, whispering encouraging words and compliments of your strength.
"i need him!" you screamed in pain as you held one of each of their hands, sobbing in agony. "i need james! i need my bucky! i can't do this alone, i can't-i can't!"
"you can," nat reminded you. "this baby needs you," she held your face to look at hers. "bucky is a part of this baby." you swore you could see tears in her eyes before turning to face steve.
"remember what you told me when you found out you were pregnant?" he didn't bother wiping the tears from his face. "bucky sent you-sent us this baby. he knows you can do it." you sniffled before nodding at your two best friends, pushing with one last scream and a second later, you had...
"cyrus james barnes," the nurse called to you. "it's a boy, congratulations mom."
-
the next few years went by quicker than you could've ever imagined.
crawling, first words, first steps...
you missed bucky. not a day passed where you didn't miss him.
but, having cy helped a lot. he looked just like his father. dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, a cute little nose... not to mention his father's stubbornness.
you made sure he knew who his father was. you took him to the museum often, showing him the statue of his father and his background in the world war, him saving the world so much. you told him how you fell in love with him.
how you fell for the quiet man before ever really talking to him. how you were partners on a long-term, undercover mission and that's where your love ignited from the sparks.
not that cy understood any of what you told him. you just felt it was important to know that his parents loved him, and each other dearly.
you never took off his dog tags, either.
steve was a huge help the whole time. he kept working for the avengers, so he was gone often, but he provided a good male role model for cyrus. after all, he was his uncle steve. he already taught him how to throw a ball, albeit a little softball, but it counts!
you made sure to document everything that went on in yours and cyrus's life.
banner had said that cyrus was growing at an exceeding rate, but nothing to be concerned about. in fact, cyrus was turning five in almost half a year, meaning the anniversary of bucky's death, or disappearance or whatever you called it, was coming up.
then, you got a call from tony and banner.
it all happened so quickly, from testing to planning to the execution. pepper watched cyrus for you while you went back with steve, scott, and tony to get the tesseract.
of course, the men being men had to come upon a few hiccups, but eventually, after going as far back as the 70s, you brought back the tesseract.
the only thing is that nat never came back...
next thing you know, bruce is snapping his fingers and clint is getting a call from his supposedly deceased wife. your eyes fill with tears, hands searching in your pockets for your phone to see if you've gotten anything yet.
is it possible he wasn't brought back? he was the first to... disintegrate. die. maybe that meant something in the eyes of the stones?
then, you felt a buzz in your hand.
although, you didn't have any time to try to grasp what that meant, because more aliens came to earth.
shocker.
after yet another war, one that you weren't even prepared for, after losing more people, again. after losing tony...
but amidst the chaos of the aftermath of the fight, with screams of joy and shock and grief surrounding you, tears streaming down your face, your eyes met the blue ones you only saw in your son.
he slowly walked towards you as the tears sped up. you didn't even realize when your feet began running towards him.
when his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally felt the home you thought you had come to terms with never feeling again. your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder as you breathed in the scent of gunmetal that had overtaken him in the battle.
"oh my god," you cried into the leather of his jacket. he lifted you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist as you felt his smile on your cheek. "i can't believe you're really here."
"i'm here, doll," his hands cradled your head so tenderly. "i'm not ever leaving again. never."
you pulled back before your eyes widened in realization. "you've gotta meet someone, jamie."
his brows furrowed in confusion, just smiling and nodding along with whatever you said.
within the next few hours, simply being held by bucky before steve stole him away with a hug, you finally brought him home.
"so, steve moved in," you started as you pulled your car into the driveway, turning to see bucky looking at you with an incredulous look. "you'll see why." you reached to hold his hand before he brought yours to his lips, pressing a kiss there.
you told him to wait in the car as you went inside to relieve the babysitter for cyrus. after giving him some cash, he went outside, knocking on your car window to let bucky know he should make his way inside.
upon entering, he saw you sitting on the floor with a little boy with striking blue eyes that seemed so familiar to him. his nose, too. his lips though, they were all yours. he had a slight grin plastered on his lips, one that matched yours to a t.
"daddy?" suddenly, it all clicked.
his heart, his mind, his fucking soul, everything made sense now. the pain, hydra, the mind washing, the torture.
meeting you. falling in love. dying?
his son.
he started walking closer to bucky before the steady walk turned into a run. bucky knelt down, wrapping the boy in his arms, cradling his tiny frame in his arms protectively. his son.
"cyrus james barnes," you said with a teary smile on your face. bucky, without breaking the hug with his son, looked up at you with a smile that matched yours. "cyrus means 'sun', and i thought it was fitting. he brought me so much light and hope after you..." you choked up before he stood up with cy in his arms, walking towards you before wrapping you in the big, family hug.
"i love you so much, both of you."
1K notes · View notes
luvrxbunny · 6 months
Text
lazy
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader 
Prompt: Wet Dreams
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, handjob (lmk if I forgot anything)
WC: 1.1k
A/N: its called lazy cus i was literally so lazy when writing this- not proofread and probably incoherent 
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You wake up to a low groaning, almost zombie-like sound, slowly growing in volume. Your eyes open to the dark room and you realize it must be Bucky making these sounds… but why? Steve had mentioned nightmares, maybe this was one? But Bucky insisted that he doesn’t have them anymore. You slowly force your muscles to wake and flip yourself over, facing him. You’re met with the sight of Bucky lying on his stomach, his head turned toward you, his brows furrowed and his face scrunched up in what you’d assume was discomfort if his hips weren’t grinding into the mattress. 
The sheet has slid down his body, laying right below his ass and giving you a perfect view of how his hips move ad he fucks his cock into the bed. It knocks the air out of your lungs and causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach along with a drop of guilt. 
You’re the first person he’s been with since he got out of cryo. You’re the first person to get him to open back up, to unlock all the emotions he decided to hide away, and turn him back into Bucky. You’re honored for the opportunity and eternally glad and grateful that you were actually able to make a difference in him, that he fell in love with you. Unfortunately, there was one area you couldn’t help him with. Sex. 
You’re a virgin. 
As much as you love Bucky, you’re just not ready to lose your virginity yet. You want him to have it and you want him… You’re just nervous for the actual act, you need some more time, and Bucky, the gentleman that he is, never pressured you to rush or anything. But apparently, that means he’s also omitting facts from you. Facts like these. 
You can hear how slick he is inside his boxers, a subtle squelch coming from inside them, letting you know how badly he’s needed this. Sam told you about the soldier’s heightened libido due to the serum but Bucky had never said anything about it to you so you assumed that Sam was just kidding around, just trying to embarrass Bucky. Apparently, he was telling the truth. 
You don’t know what to do. Waking him up might be embarrassing for him but you feel wrong just sitting here and watching him. You won’t be able to fall back asleep but you can’t just lay here and listen to him groan out for you. You place a hand on his shoulder, and rock him gently until his face twitches and his eyes begin to flutter open. 
His brain doesn’t wake up immediately. His eyes open and land on you but his hips don’t stop moving. His eyebrows pull in and he moans your name right into your face, and his hips are still moving. You can’t help but smile fondly at him, oddly complimented by his apparent need, but your smile seems to be what wakes him up. His eyes widen and his hips freeze, he seems to analyze you, trying to figure out if he’s still dreaming and his eyes widen further once he realizes he’s awake. “Fuck. I’m- I’m so sorry.”
You giggle and move closer to him. Your hand begins to leave his shoulder, trail down his arm, squeezing his bicep for a moment before continuing down and resting over where his shirt has lifted to reveal some skin on his hip. You trace gentle shapes on his skin and pretend you don’t notice when he shudders and goosebumps rise. “I can help you, Jamie.” 
His eyelids flutter at your soft movements. You test your luck, letting your fingers tease over the band of his underwear. His hips tilt up, forcing your hand over his bulge and giving you a soft moan at the feeling. His hands come up to pull your head closer to his as he starts nodding at you. You smile and kiss him while he whimpers at the feeling of you pulling his sensitive cock out of his pants. “Are- Oh, baby. Are you sure? I- sweet- baby.” His eyes roll back and his entire body goes lax— aside from his hips that are thrusting up into your unmoving hand.
“Why didn’t you come to me?” You ask and move your hand with his hips, moving it up when he thrusts up so he gets no friction. He lets out a frustrated whine. “I’m- I didn’t wanna pressure you, sweetheart. But- mm— please. I need you.” You give a pleased hum at his words and start moving your hand. His reaction is instant. His head falls back in a moan, exposing his adam’s apple to you which you immediately dive for, biting gently and sucking marks into his skin as he thrusts into your hand, taking the pleasure he needs. His cock is slick with all the precum he was spilling for you, how badly he’s been needing this. 
His hand comes to cradle your head, a bit more roughly than he meant but you feel so good on him. Your warm, wet, soft lips sucking into his hot skin, it’s making his head spin. A few seconds ago he was dreaming about you fucking him, on top, riding him like your life depends on it, like getting cum to burst from his tip was your only objective. He woke up mortified as to how you would react but this was the best outcome he could’ve asked for. His head doesn’t have any thought that doesn’t involve you. He can feel the pressure building in his gut, embarrassingly close already. 
It’s always like this when you’re the focus of his arousal, something about you seems to take away his ability to last more than a few minutes. He’s trying as hard as he can, trying to get something else in his head aside from the erotic flashes of everything he wants to do to you, everything he wants you to do to him. “Gonna cum.” The words shoot out of his mouth as a desperate whine and his cock is spurting out the moment he finishes speaking. 
He’s pumping rope after rope after rope of cum into your fist and moaning in a way you never could’ve imagined coming from him. His hips stutter into your palm and his body folds in, trembling as he tries to get closer to you. He’s whimpering your name into your ear on repeat and you shudder at the feeling the breath from his moans on your ear. His moans get high and whiny with embarrassment and overstimulation as you continue to pump his soaked cock. 
He has to shove his hands under the covers and stop you himself because it began to border on painful. He’s panting as he comes down, he can’t process a lot of things right now but he plans to thank you extensively once he can speak again. Maybe return the favor. 
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Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works, and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!
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eviesaurusrex · 1 year
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ꜱᴏꜰᴛ ᴋɪꜱꜱᴇꜱ | ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ ʙʟᴜʀʙ | ʙ. ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱ
prompt: “You pull away from a kiss but they immediately say, “no come back here” before kissing you again” by @pikzel from this list of tooth rotting fluff
warnings: none, just pure fluff
author’s note: I feel so inspired by those pieces of ideas 🥺 Had to re-upload this because it didn’t show up in the tags
;
Sunlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows of one of the many rooms inside the compound, caressing two bodies intertwined on a comfortable armchair. The light fell on top of a black metal arm, glistening in the intricate gold details woven through the dark metal while also touching silky strands of hair with ever-changing color, clearly indicating one of the reasons why the woman lived in this building.
A book was held by a flesh hand while metal slowly, almost lazily, caressed the bare skin on her arm. With a soft sigh, she nuzzled her face tighter into the crook of his neck, continuing to listen to his deep, vibrating voice, which read some sort of rom-com she had bought this morning during their breakfast date in the city.
“If she hadn’t screamed at him, if she hadn’t called out his bullshit and showed him what an ass he had been—he probably would’ve never been able to see how much she meant to him, how much he adored her,” Bucky read out loud, a smile tucking at his lips, and a soft chuckle leaving his mouth. “I can recall something very similar,” YN whispered before giggling at his grumpy scoff. “Oh, yeah? I don’t remember anything like that happening to me.”
Moving her head from his shoulder and neck, the woman cocked a brow at him, watching her grumpy soldier with a growing cheeky smirk as he put the book down. Bucky wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her legs on either side of his thighs of betrayal—as she loved to call them—pulling her flush against his broad chest.
“Keep telling yourself that, sarge,” she mumbled closely against his lips, feeling his warm right hand wandering up her back before it settled in her neck, moving her to push their lips softly together. YN could feel him sigh into the kiss more than she could hear it, and with a smile pulling the corners of her mouth up, her arms enveloped his broad shoulders to continue to press loving kisses to Bucky’s lips. She always wanted to remind him how much she loved and appreciated him, how much of her thoughts and heart he occupied, and how much she thanked the universe day after day for leading their paths together.
“I adore you,” YN whispered between soft and tender kisses, basking in the feeling of home Bucky always was able to give her, even in the most troublesome moments—which they faced more often in their line of work than both of them liked to count. The man in front of her opened his cobalt blue eyes, which held so much love for her; it always amazed her and left her dumbstruck. He observed her face, took every inch of it in as if he didn’t know it already by heart, could paint it from his memory if he were as talented as Steve.
But he always had to remind himself that this angel really belonged to him and that this was not another induced nightmare created by Hydra to let him feel hope where no hope could thrive and live.
Bucky silently hummed, pulling her in again to press another set of kisses to her soft, perfect lips. “Yeah?” He asked with a small smile and closed his eyes as YN cupped his cheeks and pecked his lips another time. “Yeah,” she answered with a nod and chuckled as Bucky pulled her even closer, if that was even possible. “I’m really the luckiest man on this planet.” His murmured words got almost lost between colliding lips, drowned in tender touches, pulling arms, and softly labored breathing.
Suddenly a bodiless voice spoke up. “Your presence is requested in the lounge, Agent LN,” Friday announced, and with a glare to the ceiling, YN put both hands against Bucky’s chest and gently pushed the super soldier off her lips. He groaned at the loss of contact, trying to follow her face with slightly pouted lips, urging her to kiss him again, but YN only rested her fingertips against his mouth and pecked the tip of his nose. “I have to go. They will come and get me if I’m not there within three minutes, y’know that.”
Bucky’s pout grew in its intensity, and at the feeling of YN climbing off his lap and steadying herself on one of the armrests, he stopped being passive. “No, come back here,” he demanded, the pout still on his soft lips, and lurched forward to grasp her hips between both hands. With his super soldier strength, it was an easy task to pull YN back onto his lap—this time sideways—and wrapped her in his embrace again. His right hand cupped the side of her neck and searched for her mouth again, kissing her with everything he had after connecting them again. “Can’t let you go just yet, doll,” he huskily whispered and smiled widely as he felt how she wrapped her arms around his neck—just where they belonged. “Oh, you can’t?” YN grinned and softly nudged their noses against one another. Bucky shook his head slowly and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Nah-uh, not gonna happen, darlin’. Not today, not tomorrow. I’ve earned this entire weekend after the back-to-back missions we had all month long,” he grumbled and threw a warning look to the door in case someone dared to stumble through it and interrupt their well-deserved alone time.
“Friday? Tell them I’m not available and be a darling and lock the door,” YN could just push out of her mouth before it was already conquered by Bucky’s lips once more.
;
I finally had to write something new for my grumpy soldier <3 And I had to come back into the flow of writing after my mental health decided to take a sudden u-turn back into the dark as hell tunnel. I’m still driving through it, but hey, you gonna do what you love nonetheless especially when it helps to distract the overworking mind.
taglist: @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @seasonofthenerd @onecrazydirectioner @meeksmusic83 @nyctophilic0vitnir
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outoftheseine · 4 months
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- BUCKY BARNES FIC RECS PART 3 -
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his strut, lord forgive me | some fics might have 18+ content so minors do not interact. | more will be added!
main masterlist | part 1 | part 2
SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS
break free • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @james-bucky (angst, violence, comfort, smut)
honey girl • dbf!bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @violentdelightsandviolentends (age gap, soulmate au, smut, angst, fluff)
taken • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @antiquarianfics (angst, violence, kidnapping)
public affair | public display • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @kaznejis
you are mine, sunshine • grumpy!bodyguard!bucky barnes x sunshine!fem!reader
↳ by @theeleggymeggy
i never thought you'd happen to me | part 2 | part 3 • bucky barnes x curvy!reader
↳ by @nickfowlerrr (slight angst, mostly fluff, smut, luv itt)
against all odds | part 2 • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @bossbtch1
ONE-SHOTS - HC'S - BLURBS
you found me • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @samthemarvelfan (slight angst, fluff)
cry baby • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @buckymorelikefuckme (smut, friends to lovers)
secret injury • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @lives-in-midgard
the collection • tfatws!bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @theeleggymeggy
better knock • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @buckysouvenir (flufff, implied smut)
suffocate me with your love • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @rocketrhap3000 (angst with happy ending, self-esteem problems)
always • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @nickfowlerrr (angst with happy ending)
contaminated • bucky barnes x agent!reader
↳ by @adrinktostopyourthirst (fluff)
finally • bucky barnes x spy!reader
↳ by @adrinktostopyourthirst (smut, fluff, angst)
curiosity killed the cat • mafia!bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @queers-gambit (angst, kidnapping, mean!bucky)
help me • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky (angst, bucky's ptsd, comfort)
his everything • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @likeahorribledream (angst, fluff and insecure bucky)
the way he loves • bucky barnes x widow!reader
↳ by @lovelybarnes (aahh so fluffy so sweet)
patience • grumpy!bucky barnes x sunshine!reader
↳ by @sageandravens
it's called: freefall • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @kikixreverie
baking for bucky • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @itsplumwriter (so fluff, i wish i can bake for bucky too)
wrapped in affection • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @aikaterini-drag (very fluffy)
the signal • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @lostgirlmuseum (angst, a misunderstanding)
first time • bucky barnes x gn!reader
↳ by @ivybucky
i was born ready • bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @whatthetumblfck (angst, kidnapping, ptsd?)
babysitting duty • bucky barnes x girlfriend!fem!reader
↳ by @nicoline1998enilocin (fluff)
here's looking at you, kid • boxer!bucky barnes x reader
↳ by @cryonme (angst, violence, tw: abuse)
knight in shining motorcycle • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @queen-of-the-avengers (almost sa, slight angst, comfort)
verity • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @cosmicbucky (angst, fluff, friends to lovers)
let it be known • mob!bucky barnes x bf!fem!reader
↳ by @kinanabinks
harvest heart • bucky barnes x fem!reader
↳ by @eloquentreverie (verry fluffy)
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aikaterini-drag · 6 months
Text
Night of Sensual Delights
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You plan a sweet and romantic Halloween night with your boyfriend, but he has other ideas for enjoying his candy.
Author's note: I hope you enjoy this sweet sinful Halloween delight! 🍭🎃 Show some love if you liked this, in any way you feel comfortable! Hugs and kisses!
Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral(fem receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, cockwarming, just shameless smut pals.
Kofi ❤️ Wattpad 🧡 AO3 🩷 ASK ME 🩵
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October was almost over and James and you decided to do something simple this Halloween just to get into the spirit. You had stocked up on all kinds of candies and planned a Halloween movie night with your boyfriend. With only a candle lit up, you snuggled into the couch, with James tucking you in his arms, a soft blanket draped over you. You cradled a bowl of candy in your arms, remote in the other hand and pressed play.
The movie of the night was a classic; The Addams Family.
Bucky hadn’t seen this one and was exited to find more about the films he had missed during his life as the winter soldier. As the movie started playing, you both watched and munched on the snacks. You laughed quietly at his reactions. He appeared unused to that kind of movies. At some point, he tensed up during a spooky scene and clutched you tight.
You grinned. "What’s wrong, oh, big, strong super soldier?"
He chuckled. “The transition was sudden.”
"Don't worry, Sergeant Barnes, I'll protect you from everything."
He took a popcorn from the bowl and tossed it at you. “You are such a teaser.”
“Hey!” You laughed and tossed another piece of popcorn at him. “Watch the movie!”
“You threw popcorn at me.”
“Well, you started it.” You gasped when he gently pinched your ass through you pajama pants. “You are doing it again!”
“What?” He lifted her against him, now both his palms pinching you bum.
“Barnes stop— ouch!”
“Liar,” he tapped your bottom. “I’m barely squeezing.”
You chuckled. “Well stop teasing my ass and watch the movie.”
“I’d rather watch you”, he drawled, his deep blue eyes gazing at you.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “You are such a flirt.”
“Only with you.”
“Shut up, and have some chocolate,” you said sweetly, pressing a the sweet piece to his mouth.
He consumed it and in a sudden move, he flipped you over, your back colliding with the couch, him pressing between your legs. “I’d rather have something even sweeter.”
You gasped at the feel of him against your core. “What is it you want exactly?”
He caught your lips, his tongue slipping into your mouth. “Want to have you for Halloween. Want my sweet girl and her pretty little pussy. Will you give it to me, sweets?”
“Hmm… as if you have to ask…” you said in between wet kisses. “More, please… James…”
“I know baby, I’ve got you.”
And with that, he worked on removing your clothes, tugging at the Halloween pajamas, dragging at your underwear till there was nothing left but your smooth skin exposed to his eyes. He grasped your knees and steered them wide apart, leaning down to enjoy the view. Creamy thighs, and in between was the most pretty, pink puffy cunt begging for attention.
He licked his lips and with a low growl, he descended upon your mound, his teeth nibbling at the fat pussy lips before flicking his tongue around your clit. You threw your head back and threaded your hands through his hair, grinding your pussy against his face. He moaned his approval and thrust two warm fingers inside you, while teasing your clit with the metal one.
A few more thrusts and you keened, shook, and came apart with long-drawn moans. He didn’t stop teasing you, he fucked you with his fingers, moving up to devour your nipples, causing a series of less intense orgasms to rock through you. With a victorious grin, he left one last kiss on your pussy lips and cupped your face.
“My pretty pussy has the sweetest taste. Better than any candy.”
He claimed your mouth and you moaned at the taste of your essence on his tongue. Your hands traveled along his strong body, caressing his broad shoulders before traveling low to slip down his pants along with his boxers. He cooperated and tossed everything off and pressed his hot, raging hard body against you.
Pinning your hands above your head, he grabbed his fat cock and tapped it on your pussy lips. You watched as he rubbed the pulsing shaft until it coated in your juices, teasing you by thrusting the cockhead inside your little slit before drawing back. With a whine, you canted your hips, begging him in a series of whines and murmurs.
Cupping under your knees, he spread your legs and thrust forward, watching as you small slit was forced open by his dick. You both moaned at the sensations and once he was seated to the hilt you needed a few moments to adjust to the invasion. You always did. He was so big and thick, yet you both fit perfectly together.
After a few seconds, he puked back, his dick flushing with your arousal and slammed back in. You saw stars. He slowly did it again, his eyes fixed on your pretty cunt. He drew back till all his length was out, the pushed in, his swollen balls squeezed against your ass.
And then he pounded inside you, claiming your very soul.
Clutching your waist, he went faster, his mouth devouring your nipples while you clung to his shoulders for dear life and floated higher and higher. You shut your eyes tightly and came undone, your walls clenching hard around him. He followed almost immediately, delving to the hilt and shooting ropes of cum inside you. You felt his release, every pump that flooded your pussy and overflowed, dripping down your thighs.
With a sigh of satisfaction, he set you to lay on your side, cuddling you from behind, his still hard cock lodged deep within you. He kissed your lips and swallowed back your moans of pleasure, sucking your nipples and cupping your breasts in his hands. You relaxed into him, your body full and spent.
“We should watch the rest of the movie now,” he said in an absolutely serious tone.
You half-laughed. “We missed most of it.”
He kissed her head with a grin. “Are you complaining?”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“I think I’m gonna love celebrating Halloween.”
Grinning, you looked at him. “When did you turn into such a sex monster?”
“When you started making me feel alive again. You did that, sweetheart.” He kissed your forehead and added, “Now watch the movie while I enjoy my Halloween treats.”
“What—” you didn’t manage to let out another word and moaned instead when he leaned down to kiss around your flushed breasts.
“James—”
“The movie, darling,” he said and gently thrust his cock, reminding you that he remained rock hard inside you.
“One day, your stamina will be the end of me,” you groaned as he moved against you, his hands, mouth and delicious length of him inside you teasing you to another orgasm. He ended up fucking you until the credits rolled and you had no strength to do anything else but melt sweetly into his arms and enjoy his ministrations.
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navybrat817 · 2 months
Text
Open Up
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: You help Bucky feel better when he's in a mood.
Word Count: Over 1.8k
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral (m. receiving), possessive behavior, dirty talk, slight jealousy, threat of violence (not against reader), slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: A Sinday treat inspired by this gif! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You found Bucky in one of the interrogation rooms. He had his leather jacket on, but didn't appear to be in a hurry to leave. Taking in his rigid posture from where he sat in his chair, you guessed it wasn't a good day. You wondered what happened or what exactly was bothering him. Considering he didn't look toward you, and he had to know it was you who walked through the door, you sensed that he wasn't in the mood to talk.
It didn't mean you couldn't try and make him feel better.
“Hey, Sarge,” you said, shutting the door behind you before you walked across the room. “Bad day?” You asked, stopping a few inches in front of him.
A pair of steel blue eyes snapped toward you and you couldn't suppress the shiver that rolled down your spine. It wasn't fair that he appeared so commanding when he was the one sitting in a chair and you were on your feet. “You could say that.”
“Anything I can do to help?” You asked with an almost innocent look in your eyes as he spread his massive thighs.
“Yeah,” he replied, gesturing to his crotch with his metal hand. “You can get on your knees and suck my cock.”
Your throat went dry as you looked in his lap, watching with growing interest as his thick fingers swiftly unbuckled his belt and pants. What if someone walked in? It was no secret that you and Bucky were together, but it didn't mean anyone should have to witness any of your endeavors. Then again, wasn't the thrill of getting caught part of the fun?
“Are you sure that's what you want? You could fuck my pussy,” you offered, your panties embarrassingly damp considering he hadn't touched you. If he asked you to, you’d ride him in that chair until his eyes rolled back.
The low chuckle he let out made your throat go dry. His laughter didn't fool you. He wasn't in the mood to play or tease. “If you want my cock in your cunt so badly, you better earn it by taking me in your fucking throat first,” he growled.
Your knees just about gave out, which gave you the perfect excuse to sink to the cool floor. “Will that make you feel better?” You asked as you crawled to him and slid your hands up his legs. Your cheeks flamed under his dark gaze. It was a thing of wonder to have his full attention. “Your big cock fucking my throat? Making me swallow every drop?”
“It’s a start,” he whispered, cupping your jaw with a tender touch. His thumb reached over to trace your lips, but pulled away before you could suck the digit into your waiting mouth. “Need that pretty pussy filled, too.”
You clenched, wishing he’d shove you on the back, push your legs apart, and drive his cock in so deep you'd scream. But you wouldn't get what you wanted if you didn't take care of him first. And having his dick in your mouth was something you craved, so you would enjoy it.
“Tell me you need it,” he ordered, his tongue wetting his bottom lip before his teeth dragged along it.
“I need it. Need you to fuck my throat,” you begged, unzipping his jeans and peeling them down with his underwear as far as you could. His thick cock bobbed free and you couldn't help licking your lips at the sight. You gripped the base and preened when he hardened more under your touch. “It’s so big. You can choke me with it if you want to.”
He groaned, heat curling in your gut when he rocked his hips up. “Look at you. So eager for it. Bet you'd rub your pussy against my boot if I told you to just to get a taste,” he rasped, making you whine. You’d love to leave a shine on his leather. “Everyone thinks you're a good agent and a good girl, but you’re my little cockslut.”
You pouted as you looked up at him. His blue eyes had gone black, the light shining over his head giving him the appearance of a dark angel. Beautiful, tortured, and heavenly. “I’m all of those things,” you said, licking from just above where your fingers held him to the tip. “I’m a good agent and a good girl. Your good girl.”
Because if there was anyone you wanted to be good for, it was Bucky Barnes.
“Fuck,” he grunted when your enclosed your lips around the head. The taste of him bloomed on your tongue, but it was just the beginning. He’d spill down your throat by the time you were done so the very essence of him lingered. “You are, doll. You’re so good and all mine,” he said, growling the last word.
You pulled off with a sweet smile, his praise bringing out your need to please him more. “And I’m very much your cockslut. So fuck my throat, Sarge,” you said, wasting no time swallowing him down.
“Your fucking mouth,” he groaned, bringing a hand to the back of your neck.
You hollowed out your cheeks and sucked in a breath through your nose as you relaxed your throat. As tempted as you were to reach between your legs and give yourself some relief, you rested your free hand on his thigh. The muscle twitched beneath it and he would feel it if you gave him the signal to stop. You never once had to.
You took him every single time.
He touched your jaw again, making sure your mouth stayed wide open around him. He forced you to take him in deeper, his hips thrusting up as you gagged. “That’s it. Suck it just like that,” he urged, making you moan around the thick length of him. “My good girl. Everything I need right here.”
Tears blurred your vision, but they quickly spilled over. He looked back at you with half-lidded eyes, your heart pounding at the sight. You knew you looked pretty stretched around him. And you knew he wanted to keep you.
“So beautiful on your knees,” he praised, his hands moving to grip each side of your head to control the pace. You whimpered when your hand fell away and nose brushed the curls at the base of his cock. His metal thumb wiped away a tear as he made you bob your head. “Take it, doll. I know it’s a lot, but you can take it. I know you can.”
Those weren't just words to stroke his ego or your own. It was a lot to take. Drool seeped from the corners of your mouth, adding to the mess from your tear tracks and running makeup. You were certain you looked ruined, which only made you more stunning in his eyes. Because he was the cause and effect. He broke you so beautifully and put every piece back in place while leaving a bit of himself behind as a reminder of who you belonged to.
“You're my girl,” he said in a deep voice, quickening his pace as your throat contracted around him. “Mine.”
“Yours.” The muffled reply made him growl. You reached up to cup his balls, still allowing him to keep the pace. He said he wanted to fuck your throat and you wouldn't stop him, but you wanted to make him feel good.
“My dirty girl on her knees. Bet the camera’s recording us right now,” he went on, your mouth pliant as he continued to thrust. You almost forgot about the surveillance. “Should swipe the footage. Make you sit on my cock while you watch how well you take it.”
You moaned, sending more vibrations through his cock as he groaned and panted. His rhythm almost faltered when you gently squeezed, feeling him twitch in your mouth and under your hand before you let go. He was so close, chasing his release. It was getting harder to breathe, your eyes stinging with tears again, but he was almost there.
You had to get him off.
The slight drag of your teeth did the trick. “Take it. Don't waste a fucking drop,” he grunted, his face twisting and keeping your head down as his release flooded your mouth. Glancing up at him as you did your best to swallow it all, he looked like such a pretty mess, too. Parted lips, warm cheeks, pupils blown with lust. He was just as ruined as you.
No one else had that kind of power over him.
You gasped and greedily inhaled when he pulled you off of him and slumped in the chair, catching his breath, too. He groaned when your tongue went out to catch another drop that dropped from the head of his cock. Your soaked panties from having him in your mouth didn't matter. He’d get you off soon enough.
As long as he was okay from whatever bothered him earlier, that was all you cared about.
“Fuck,” he sighed, pushing the chair back and joining you on your knees. He slotted his lips against yours as he pulled you close, leaving you breathless once again as his tongue explored your mouth. You carded your fingers through his short hair as he took what he needed, his stubble leaving a slight burn on your skin.
Another subtle reminder that you were his girl.
“Better, Sarge?” You asked once he finished, your voice raw. If he wanted to talk, you’d listen.
“Much better,” he promised, his next kiss sweet and tender. The earlier tension he held in his body had disappeared, which gave you some relief. “Thank you.”
“Good,” you smiled against his lips.
He closed his eyes, his nose touching yours. “I'm not a killer anymore.”
You raised an eyebrow. Those weren't the words you were expecting to hear. “I know,” you said.
“But I had to stay here,” he said, kissing over to your ear. “Because if I bumped into the agent who touched you earlier, I would've shattered every bone in his hand.”
“Bucky,” you breathed, your heart pounding when he pulled back to stare at you. Lust lit up his eyes again, but there was an underlying rage building as his nostrils flared. Was that why he was in a mood? Because an agent had touched your arm before you said you had a boyfriend? It was so meaningless in your eyes that you had forgotten about it.
But, fuck, if this slightly possessive side wasn't hot.
“You told him you were mine because you’re my good girl. Still pissed me off that he checked you out when you walked away. Still wanted to break his hand,” he snarled, laying you on your back. “And I know your voice is a little hoarse, but I need to make you scream my name. I want everyone nearby to know you’re my girl,” he said, his eyes on you as he pointed to the camera in the far left corner. “And anyone watching.”
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So, that happened. Lovelies, you may go about your business. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
2K notes · View notes
Text
Aftercare | Bucky Barnes
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 -> Soft!Dom!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Sub!Girlfriend!Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -> Bucky takes care of you after he fucked you.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 -> 267
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 -> (M) mention of previous sex
𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 -> Softdom Bucky Barnes + aftercare @nervouseden
𝐀/𝐍 -> Thank you for the request. It’s pretty short but it’s a Drabble so hope you enjoy.
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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“It’s fine, isn’t it, babydoll?” Bucky asks while he pulls out of you.
Your breathing is still heavy, and you look through almost closed eyes at Bucky. Then you nod, showing him everything is fine even though you’re fucked out.
“Good girl, you are always doing so well for me,” he praises, leaning down to kiss your stomach.
Bucky’s hands slide up and down your sides, caressing your soft, sweaty skin. His brown hair is stuck in his face, and sweat is running all over his body. Your boyfriend smirks at you while he moves his kisses over your breast. Enjoying the soft moans that are leaving your lips.
“Feeling good, babydoll?”
“Y-yes. Just tried,” you mumble, sliding your hand through his wet hair.
“Let me clean you, and then we can cuddle and you can sleep a bit,” he tells you, biting softly into your soft skin.
Your back is arched, and your breast is pressing against his. Bucky smirks when he kisses along your jawline, making sure every bit of skin gets a bit more attention now. It doesn’t matter how hard he fucked you before; when the two of you are finished, he always places a lot of kisses all over your body until you calm down from your high. Bucky isn’t cleaning the two of you before you smile at him and make sure you’re feeling perfectly fine.
“Mhm- Bu-“ you mumble when he leaves some marks all over your neck.
He chuckles, capturing your lips before he gets up and into the bathroom to get something to clean the two of you.
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Text
I Can See You
"And I could see you being my addiction, you can see me as a secret mission..."
Summary: You and Bucky don't see eye to eye, everyone knows that. They don't know that you and Bucky once knew each other under very different names. And they most certainly don't know that when he looks at you, he can still every stolen moment, his jacket on the floor, notes saying meet him at midnight, you up against the wall with him. No, they don't see that at all. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist | Anon's 1K Celebration
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"I already told you, I'm only doing this because I owe you."
Six months - that was your promise.
Six months of your time and best efforts.
"And as a part of this favor, you promised to keep an open mind."
And an open mind, you begrudgingly recall. You promised you would keep an open mind about making this a more permanent placement.
Nick Fury was sure that you'd find a home here in the Avengers Compound.
You were fairly certain that you wouldn't - but you weren't going to tell him that.
You hated owing people. Nick Fury even more so. You could bide your time for six months to pay your debt to him. He didn't need to know you had no intention of becoming an Avenger. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, Nick."
"That doesn't sound like an open mind," he admonishes.
You smirk, enjoying the frantic hustle and bustle of the Avengers Compound with your duffle bag slung over your shoulder, "You know that I don't do well in teams. I don't play fair, Nick."
"Never heard that one before."
"But I bet you believe me, don't you?" you retort.
"Open mind."
You roll your eyes, waving him off, "Yeah, yeah, when exactly do I get to meet these self righteous assholes?"
"How does now sound?"
"Like my worst nightmare," you mutter under your breath.
If he heard you, he doesn't let it show. Nick flings the door to the conference room open, revealing two men standing beside each other poring over a case file.
It's not their impressive statures that catch your attention. In fact, the blonde one hardly catches your eye at all.
And if you weren't highly trained and disciplined, a gasp would've lodged itself in your throat at the sight of the brunette you never thought you'd see again.
"Ah, Nick told us we might be meeting you today." The sandy haired super soldier extends his hand out to you. It doesn't escape your attention that the brunette snaps the file shut the moment he sees you. "I'm Steve, Steve Rogers."
You return the gesture, still barely paying attention to the man. Your eyes flicker to Bucky. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was entirely unfazed by your sudden reappearance.
You're thankful you do know better. You know so much better. 
Bucky's eyes meet yours for a split second, they narrow slightly. It tells you everything that you need to know. You've caught him off guard.
Steve takes Bucky's silence as his cue to interject. He clears his throat, gesturing to his friend, "And this is Bucky Barnes. He's a, well, he's a man of few words."
Apparently, that hadn't changed since you knew him under an entirely different name.
"It's nice to meet you," you say to Steve. Your eyes flicker back to Bucky. His jaw ticks as a wide grin pulls at the corners of your mouth. He's worried that you'll give away his dirty little secret. Your eyes flash over to him, a mischievous gleam that Bucky doesn't miss, "The both of you."
Steve smiles at the change in your demeanor, "Nick filled me in about your little deal. Exactly how long is this trial run going to run?"
"Six months," you confidently reply, unabashedly staring at Bucky. "I'll be out of your hair in six months."
"But we're keeping an open mind, aren't we?" Nick urges you again.
You playfully roll your eyes, a beaming grin on your face, "Of course, Nick. You know, I don't know why, but suddenly, I get the sense that these next six months are going to be a hell of a lot of fun."
"That's an interesting take," Steve lilts.
"She's your problem now," Nick quips.
"Me? A problem?" you gasp in mock offense. You turn to Bucky, who's still yet to say a word. "Do I look like a problem, Bucky?"
Bucky's eyes narrow again. The muscle in his jaw ticks yet again. You swear you can almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding. It's almost enough to make you laugh.
The silence is palpable as Bucky glares at you. Steve nervously laughs, taking a step closer to you. He gestures to your duffle bag, "How about I show you were you can put your stuff down? We'll give you a chance to settle in and you'll meet the rest of the team first thing in the morning."
"Sounds like a plan, Captain."
"Just Steve is fine."
"See?" You call over your shoulder to Nick. "I'm already having so much fun."
You're not surprised that he came to find you minutes later. If you're right, he waited just long enough to make sure he wasn't being obvious. You don't even need to look over your shoulder to feel his lurking gaze far before you see him. "I can see you."
"Why did you lie?" Bucky furiously demands, standing in the doorway of your new bedroom.
You grin to yourself, still turned away from Bucky. "Nice to see you again, Soldat."
"Bucky," he firmly states, his hands curling into tight fists. "My name is Bucky."
"If I recall correctly, you liked when I called you Soldat." You turn on your heel, taking several steps toward Bucky. He knows he should stop you. He knows he should stay as far away from you as possible, as far away from your bedroom as possible. And yet, there's a side of him that wants nothing more than to feel you close to him all over again. He doesn't stop you. He doesn't push you away. Not even when you're close enough to touch him. "Or did it sound better when I whispered it in your ear?" You lean in, your voice dropping to a soft whisper in his ear, "My Soldat."
He does his very best to suppress the shudder that rolls through his entire body. It takes him a beat longer than it should to regain his senses and take a step away from you. He demands again, "Why did you lie?"
You chuckle, finally stepping away and allowing him his space, "Would you prefer I tell your team mates about your history of getting a little too close to your enemies?"
"What makes you think that they don't know?" Bucky challenges. 
You languidly shrug, "We'll call it a hunch."
"I'm not that person anymore." Bucky takes an angry step forward, desperate to convince you that he's a changed man. "I don't keep secrets anymore."
"So tell them," you offer. "What do I care?"
"You cared enough to lie," Bucky shoots back.
"If you want to let your team know that we used to fu-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. I'm not that person anymore," he repeats himself. This time, he's not sure who he's trying to convince.
"Then we shouldn't have any problems, should we?" you rhetorically ask.
His eyes narrow, his gaze sharp and ready to kill, "What are you up to?"
"Me?" You gesture to yourself, resting your hand on your chest. "I'm not up to anything. Come on, Soldat, don't you trust me?"
"No, I don't because I know you, and you're always up to something," he bitterly accuses. "You've always got an angle."
"I assume you're talking about that day."
"You sold me out."
"You'll never see, will you?" You roll your eyes at him, waving him off, "I'm simply doing the favor that was asked of me."
"Six months?"
"Six months. And no one will ever have to know. Unless, of course, you can't help yourself."
He scoffs, "That won't be a problem."
"History has a tendency to repeat itself, Bucky," you state, putting an extra emphasis on his name.
"Not this time. Here's how this is going to go." He reaches out, snatching your wrist. His grip is tight enough to force you to pay attention, but not enough to actually hurt. "I'll stay away from you, and you're going to stay away from me. Got it? Let's just - let's keep this professional."
A grin spreads across your face. Your eyes flicker down to the burning grip on your wrist. You like that, even now, even after all these years, you still have an effect on the man you once called yours. "Don't worry, Bucky. I'm as reformed as you are."
That's exactly what worried him.
The months passed as quietly as Bucky could ever bring himself to hope.
Still, you never quite let it rest, never let him rest.
You always had a way of letting him know that you could see him. You could see how he was struggling to contain himself, struggling to suppress every flashback, struggling to simply keep his eyes off of you, struggling to contain all the feelings that he denied he felt for you.
He wondered if you knew that you kept him up all hours of the night. There were so many nights he spent sleep evaded, wondering what would happen if he just knocked on your door. Would you be up waiting for him? Would you smirk that smirk? The one he'd come to love and hate all at once. The one that was haunting him. The one he saw every time he close his eyes.
It wasn't just at night. It was every night. Every day. Every waking moment that you danced somewhere on the outskirts of his awareness. Every time you brushed past him in the hallway. You had to know you were driving him to the brink of madness. 
Sometimes, you barely acknowledged him. Sometimes, you gave him that infuriating smirk. Every single time, he saw it. Every single time, he saw you.
That part of his life was, for lack of a better word, scrambled. And still, he could never forget your touch. That part was crystal clear.
And he couldn't decide whether he loved or hated the fact that it might just be you doing that to him.
It ate at him.
It was a special gift you possessed, he had to admit. You could make him see whatever you wanted him to see, the power to ensnare his senses. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. You had the power to do it, to make him see whatever you wanted him to. He told himself that's what it was. It wasn't remembering a long lost love, it was you messing with his head all over again. 
He'd see flashes of the time you spent together once upon a time. His jacket on the floor. Up against the wall with you. Those old, crumpled notes telling him to meet you at midnight. He remembers every second of it. 
But most of all, you. He remembers every whispered sweet nothing. He remembers the anticipation he felt every time he saw you. And he remembers your touch. Your lips on his, trailing down his jawline. Your fingers running over the planes of his chest.
Deep down, he knew it wasn't your powers. It was you. There was no forgetting a touch like that. No forgetting a person like you.
It just another way you tormented him. So few ever escaped the Winter Soldier. Even fewer lived to tell the tale.
Not you. You not only lived to tell the tale, you taunted him with it. After that very first night, where he was, you were. He was never quite sure if it was glorious happenstance or your own doing.
Your very first encounter, you caught him totally off guard - something previously thought impossible. He didn't see you. He didn't hear you coming. He didn't feel you slip past him to reach your target before he ever could. All he remembered was hearing footsteps in the dark street. He knows for a fact you could've disappeared into the night without him ever knowing. He whirled around, searching for the culprit. He saw nothing, no one. 
It should've been quick, an easy kill. Instead, it was the first time he ever failed.
To this day, he swears that he heard your whispered laugh when he realized his target was gone, vanished into the night.
You showed yourself the second time. He was more prepared that time. Not ready for it, but more prepared. The first time his vision failed him, he sprayed the room with bullets.
"Uh, uh," you condescendingly tutted, allowing him to see you standing before him. "Can't get rid of me that easily, Soldat."
He saw you standing before him for a short moment, just enough to memorize your face. And then he lost all sight. You stroked his cheek, he remembers that. It was the first time you ever touched him. It was the most tender touch he'd felt in decades.
When he regained his senses, you were gone. Along with his target. 
The third time, he caught you - or you allowed him to catch you. He wasn't quite sure.
"Who are you?" he demanded, pinning you against the wall.
"Poor, Soldat," you cooed at him. It confused him. There was no fear in your voice. For some reason, he knew that if he released your arms from his iron grip, you wouldn't punch, scratch, or claw at him. You wouldn't fight back. You'd taunt him with your touch all over again. And for a reason that was more unknown to him, he really wanted you to. "They truly tell you nothing."
His sight was gone, but this time, he refused to let go. He gripped your wrists hard enough to leave bruises, pinning them over your head, "Let me see you."
"Say please." There it was that taunt that he knew would come. There was a lilt to your voice he'd never forget. In that moment he knew, he was powerless against you and your whims.
"Let me see you. Now."  He grips you even tighter. For a long moment, he still saw nothing. All he could feel was your body pinned against the wall, pinned against him. He softly exhales, his breath dusting over your lips, "Please."
He thought he memorized your face the first time you allowed him to see you, but he was wrong. There was so much he missed. He missed the slope of your nose. How soft and plush your lips looked. The mischievousness shining in your brilliant eyes.
He studied your face again. Over and over. Forcing himself to commit every detail to memory. Your smirk melted into the warmest smile he'd ever seen you wear.
You lean into him, as close as his grip will allow you to. So close that your lips linger a breath away from his. For a moment, he thinks you're going to kiss him. Instead, you speak softly, your breath skating across his lips, "I like you, Soldat. We're going to have fun."
His heart still stuttered. At the time, he didn't know what you meant.
He learned quickly after that.
It was the definition of a whirlwind romance - or as close to a romance as two assassins could possibly get. Long nights spent beside you. Jet setting across the globe for missions, just waiting with bated breath in the hopes that you'd be there. You never talked about what it meant, what you felt, all you had were those nights. Somewhere in those nights, he stopped being Soldat, and he started being your Soldat. 
So was it you? Were you the reason he could still see it?
Or was it him? Was it the fact that he could never really let those nights go?
He was a different person than the one you knew all those years ago. He was on the straight and narrow. He stayed out of trouble. You were the epitome of trouble. You sold him out the moment it was convenient for you. So why can't he let you go?
You caught him off guard when you showed up here. He was determined to make sure that didn't happen again. He just needed to be on his best behavior.
He knows you've been watching him - but he can see you, too.
You make a point to brush past him in the hallway on the way to the conference room. He thinks you can't see it, but you've been watching him closely.
You can see the waver of his Adam's apple, the way his eyes dart in your direction when you pass him, the way his jaw ticks shut as if he were doing his very best to contain himself.
Your days here on the Compound were dwindling down to your last few weeks. He still couldn't figure out why he couldn't let you go.
Even as he sits across the conference room table, you overwhelm each and every one of his senses. You pretend like you don't see him taking the seat directly across from you. Instead, you lean closer into Sam.
Sam grins at you. "So you can show me anything?"
"Anything," you promise, driving Bucky mad by using that torturous smirk on Sam. 
Bucky's not sure what Sam sees. It could be anything. A powder white beach on some far off coast. A meadow filled with fragrant, vibrant flowers dancing in the daylight. You could make him feel like he was plummeting to his death. You could make him feel loved for the first time in his life. You could let him know a betrayal like no other. 
He shakes away the runaway train of thought, focusing on the far off look in Sam's eye and the look of wonderment painting his face, "Whoa..."
"Bucky," Sam calls, his voice filled with laughter as you use your gift like a party trick. "Come try this! She's like a human VR."
"As tempting as that is," Bucky sarcastically remarks, crossing his arms over his chest, "I'd like to get this meeting over with."
"Alright, team," Tony calls out, beginning their latest team meeting. "Fury added another assignment to our docket. Black tie, intercepting a black market intel deal. You get in, you get out. Should be easy enough."
"Whatever you say," Bucky mutters under his breath.
"Barnes," Tony smirks. "I'm so glad you agree. You're up."
"What? Why?" Bucky demands. 
Tony nonchalantly shrugs, "Because I said so."
"Asshole," Bucky grumbles.
Tony's eyes flicker over to you next. In that moment, Bucky freezes. There's no way Tony know about the two of you, but it certainly feels like Tony's doing this just to punish him. "And you can take the human VR with you."
"No," Bucky sharply refutes, gripping the table so tightly he's sure Tony will have to get a new one. "I go, I go alone."
"Sorry, Barnes, we'll need more than brawn to get us into that gala."
Six months. Almost six months passed and he'd done everything in his power to avoid this. To avoid being alone with you. To avoid working in close proximity to you and the aura of temptation and betrayal that shrouded you.
The number of favors he now owed to his teammates was proof of it. He had no interest in testing the limit of his will power. "Then, I'll take Wanda."
Tony crosses his arms, shaking his head and looking far too pleased at Bucky's discomfort, "Nope, she's needed on a different assignment."
You smirk, tongue running over your teeth like a predator watching their prey fall into their trap. "Careful, Bucky, I'm starting to get the sense that you don't want to work with me."
Bucky's eyes dart to you, grimacing at you, "Whatever."
"Oh, I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun."
"Bucky," Steve starts, tightly gripping his shoulder as the room filters out. "What's the problem?"
Bucky glowers at you as you saunter out of the conference room. Of course, you're far too pleased with this outcome. You make a point to grin at him as rage rolls off of him. "I don't trust her."
"Why? She's never given us any reason not to."
"Because -" Bucky starts, faltering after only a word. He can't bring himself to say why. That was between you and him. A memory he buried long ago. "Forget about it."
But he remembers. All of it. He remembers the moment you betrayed him and broke his heart all too well. 
"My Soldat..."
He sighs in relief, he finally stops pacing the floor of your safe house. You asked to meet days ago and you had yet to show up. Weeks had passed without hearing from you. You'd never gone this long without making yourself known. Finally, here you were, back in his arms where you would always belong,"It's been too long. I was beginning to worry."
"Don't ever worry about me, my Soldat." Your words are sharper than he's ever heard from you, it shocks him. You caress his cheek, fingertips trailing down to his jawline, your words soften to a gentle whisper, "Don't ever worry about me."
He bends down and kisses the palm of your hand, "I will always worry. For you, I will worry for as long as I live."
You smile, resting your hand over his beating heart. That's why you were doing this. You made deals with people you hated, resigned yourself to a life always looking over your shoulder, and sealed your fate, all to keep his heart beating, all to give him the long, happy life he deserved.
"And for that, you'll always be my Soldat." You kiss him with everything you have left. Your last kiss. A goodbye kiss. Because if you loved something, you set it free. If they came back to you, they would always be yours. And now, you were setting him free. And he would never forgive you for this. He would never be yours again. "And that's why it had to end this way."
"What are you talking about?"
You back away from the window of your safe house, "I'm sorry."
"What?"
And that's when the SHIELD agents swarmed.
It was a moment hard to forget. Yet it was equally hard to remember, to remember why he didn't trust you, to remember why he could never allow himself to let his guard down, not when you were so good at taunting him. He was sure you were taunting. He knew it from the very moment you stepped into the armory in a red dress that nearly stopped his heart.
You make it a point to saunter past him, tossing a laugh over your shoulder, "Don't worry, Soldat. I'll be on my best behavior."
"I won't hold my breath." Flashes of old memories race through his head. This time, he's sure it's you. His eyes snap up to you with a glower, "You said you were going to be behave."
"I said I was going to be on my best behavior," you correct, making a show of picking out your knives for the night. "This is pretty much as good as it gets."
"That's what I was worried about," Bucky sighs to himself.
"Lighten up, Soldier. It's my last night, I'd like to have just a little fun."
"Last night?"
"That was the deal."
Bucky's eyes dart away from you as you lift your leg up. The fabric of your dress slides up as you strap a small dagger to your holster. He knows you're doing it on purpose to rile him up. That's not what worries him. What worries him is if you're not doing it intentionally. If you're not trying to get his attention and he's just so viscerally aware of you that he can't stop thinking about you. That's what worries him. He doesn't trust himself enough to be this drawn to you. He clears his throat of the knot forming, "So you're not staying?"
"Why? You gonna miss me?" you tease. He remains silent, his eyes unflinchingly forward. "Let's not kid ourselves, Bucky. You didn't want me to stay. Too risky - I might ruin your squeaky clean reputation."
He's absolutely certain that you're the only person that's ever referred to his reputation as squeaky clean. "You're really leaving?"
"It's okay, Soldat."
"I told you not to call me that," Bucky snaps. He's aware that his self control is slipping minute by minute. Every second in your presence is a test of his restraint.
"Do you still remember? Can you still see it in your mind? Or do you need me to show you?"
"Stop." He barks the second a flash of the memory starts playing in his head. He can see himself tossing his jacket on the floor in a frenzy. "That's enough."
You smirk that damned smirk at him again. His fist clenches tightly, the knuckles of his flesh hand white with strain. "You're thinking about us right now, aren't you?"
He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to push the image out of his head, he frantically shakes his head, "Stop it."
"Do you want to know what I'm thinking about?"
"Not particularly," he rasps.
"Liar."
He clenches his jaw so tightly that he's worried he might break a tooth or two as he desperately tries to hold onto his last ounce of self control. He's fighting a losing battle. "I'm not a liar."
"So what would you do? If I touched you right now?" You rest your hand against his chest. "If I got just a little bit closer?"
He hopes you can't hear his heart stutter. "I - I wouldn't do anything."
"What if you knew they would never find out? If we were so quiet and we didn't make a sound?"
"It wouldn't change a thing."
"What if I told you I remember it all? Every night. Every mission. Every time you kissed me."
"I-" His voice falters. Now was his chance. This was it, whether he wanted you to stay or go. Would you stay if he admitted that he never stopped thinking about those stolen moments? Or would you betray him all over again and laugh in his face and smirk that damned smirk with pride at bringing him to his knees? He can't put his finger on it, but in this moment, he doesn't care. He'll take the chance. He swallows the knot in his throat, "I would tell you I remember all of it."
Your hand twitches against his chest. "What?"
"I remember every second. I'll never forget any of it. I could just never figure out: Was any of it real?"
"Can't you see, my Soldat?" Your hand skates past his collarbone, up his throat, coming to rest on his cheek. Your hand caresses him with a tenderness he thought he would never feel again. "It was always real. Every moment of it."
"Then why did you do it?" he softly exhales.
"I had my reasons."
He lunges forward, and in the blink of an eye, he's gripping your wrist and pinning it to the wall behind you, "Tell me."
You grin wildly. You've been here with him before. "Arrogant as ever, Soldat."
"If it was real, why did you do it?" he demands, flexing his grip.
You lick your lips, momentarily debating whether or not to give him the truth. It ate at you for years. From afar, you could live with the knowledge that he might always hate you for what you did. Watching the conflict warring in his eyes was an entirely different battle. You figure, of all the things you could give him, the truth would at least give him some sense of peace. "It wasn't safe."
He loosens his grip slightly, "I would've protected you."
"It wasn't safe for you."
His eyes flash open. "What?"
"You were my mission, Bucky," you finally confess. "There was never anything else - anyone else. It was you. Only you."
He lets go, the shock sending him staggering. Your hand skates down the wall, but he doesn't move back to allow you the space to move. "You were sent to kill me."
You tilt your head at him, "I clearly failed."
"That doesn't explain why you betrayed me."
"Someone found out about us."
He shakes his head, his eyes storming with anger, "No, we were careful."
"Someone knew. I got a nice gunshot in the back to prove it. They knew I wasn't going to complete my mission. They knew I was never going to kill you. I wasn't going to lead them right to you. I didn't know who was watching. I wasn't - I wasn't going to gamble your life until I was sure that they were all gone."
The realization dawns on Bucky almost immediately. Sure, you were one hell of an assassin. Sure, your powers were beyond belief and could take down even the most heinous villains. But not even you could singlehandedly take down the crime syndicate you used to work for. An organization almost as massive and pervasive as HYDRA was. That's why you put yourself in Nick Fury's debt. You did it for him. "That's why you owed Nick Fury. That's why you sold me out." 
"As twisted as it sounds, you were safer in SHIELD's custody. The moment I knew you were safe and in custody, I killed each and every one of them."
His voice is hoarse as he speaks, "You should've told me."
"I wasn't going to risk your life just so you wouldn't think badly of me."
"Then why did you come here?" he demands. "If you had no intention of telling me the truth, if you were going to pretend, why ask to come here?"
"I didn't ask to come here. I didn't know you were here. I stopped looking for you some time ago."
"Why?"
"I dug deep to finish what they started. And once I tore them down brick by brick, I needed to rebuild. I had nothing left. It took me a while to resurface."
"Oh." There's a tightness in Bucky's chest at your confession. He never looked for you. He though you betrayed him. Up until now, there was no reason to believe anything else. You rebuilt your life on your own. You had no one, nothing left. You were left all alone. He left you all alone. 
There's a strange look in Bucky's eye when you finally look up at him. There's a lightness you haven't scene in quite some time. "What?"
The corner of Bucky's mouth twitches up. You may not have known, but Nick Fury sure did. "Fury knew I was here. He knew where he was sending you. He knew about... us?"
"I assume he figured it out when I came to him, begging him to help me keep you safe."
A shaky exhale dances across your lips. Bucky closes the gap between the two of you, pressing you up against the wall with him. "It was real."
For the first time in a long time, you touch him. You rest your shaky hand against cheek, your fingers ghosting over his lips, "Finally, you see, it was real... my Soldat."
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