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#james bucky barnes
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„Something’s missing“
Mob!James 'Bucky' Barnes x female reader (Mafia AU)
Words: 3.4k
Summary: “I need you to come see me at my office. As soon as possible, there is something missing on my desk and I need your assistance.” Your fingers hovered over the message a little confused. He needed your help to locate a missing item? Didn’t Bucky had bodyguards and footman for these things?
Warnings: explicit smut, a bit fluff in the end, p in v, semi public sex, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving)
Notes: This may or may not be related to »stress relief«, I don’t know so it’s up to you guys 👀
🤍 read it on ao3 | my main masterlist 🤍
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The ding of the elevator as it rose through the floors of the tall building was beginning to work itself into an unwelcome headache at the base of your skull. It was the middle of the day and you felt like you had accomplished absolutely nothing. Those idiots down on 7th St were going to give you an aneurism one of these days.
Your fingers moved to the bridge of your nose and compressed the tissue in a frustrated huff, “Why does he still put up with their incompetence?”
As the door finally opened to the top floor and your destination, you held the files of your final days tasks to your breast and headed out into the hallway. It was the boss himself who had texted you for an impromptu meeting. You had a few things to discuss about tomorrow’s deliveries with Thor and Loki, but the wording of his message was a bit odd, so you were a little distracted.
“I need you to come see me at my office. As soon as possible, there is something missing on my desk and I need your assistance.”
Your fingers hovered over the message a little confused. He needed your help to locate a missing item? Didn’t Bucky had bodyguards and footman for these things? But with the boss usually busy with his daily meetings and other ‘activities’ he needed to take care of, a chance to see him for a bit was too tempting to pass up. So, you ended your meeting with the two brothers early, which was a blessing in disguise and made your way to the center of the city to Barnes headquarters.
The clicks of your heels echoed throughout the bright cavernous hallway. The lines were clean and modern with minimal décor besides a few priceless artifacts from different countries to absorb the sound. Most were procured by yourself for your boss; it was one of your many talents that had made the usually elusive mobster take an interest in you. Oh, how that day had changed your life, mostly for the better but there were some days his standoffish demeanor soured his perfect persona. He made up for it in other ways though…
Coming to the end of the corridor and two massive doors leading to Bucky’s office, you were greeted by Pepper’s smiling face.
“Good afternoon, Y/N“, the secretary cooed getting up from her seat to receive you. “I’m glad you’re here, Mr. Barnes has been in a mood today. He’s not angry by any means but I can tell he’s pent up with something. He’s been popping his head out those doors for almost as hour asking if you’d had arrived yet.”
“I’m sure I can assist him with whatever his needs are.”
“You always do dear.”
Opening the two enormous doors to his office you found the well-dressed brunette looking out of his floor to ceiling window.
As he swayed in his stance you could see the definition of his thigh muscles through the fabric of his black slacks with each shift. The remarkably well-tailored white dress shirt lined his broad shoulders, showing off their power and his muscular arms were folded over his chest.
“Lock the doors.” His cool yet authoritative voice thundered throughout the spacious room. Bucky didn’t turn around, but he could smell your wonderful scent before you had even entered the room. There was no need for formalities.
You dared not to question his request and followed through quickly snapping the lock in place assuring you wouldn’t be disturbed. The urgency in his voice so final and dominating, it made your body warm.
Bucky had a reputation in this city, he had it in his vibranium fist the moment he came into the light and his skills were second to none. Just a flick of his wrist and you’d be dead with your very existence erased from the cities records by the end of the night. It should terrify you for how efficient he was at getting what he wanted. But in all reality, it made you ache for him, absolutely at the mercy of the handsome mafia boss.
By the time you had turned back around, Bucky was a few feet in front of you, his deft fingers unbuckling his silver cufflinks. The current look in his eyes was nothing you had ever seen before, almost predatory. The ocean blue irises were unusually dark, and his stance was wide and intimidating.
The atmosphere in the colossal office was thick and warm yet the A/C was running.
“You said you needed help finding something missing on your desk?”
His lips curled slightly, “Yes, it’s been a source of constant distraction looking to see it there and finding it missing.” Bucky stepped forward and slipped his large hand to you hip ushering you to the desk that was the main focal point of the room. Deep rich wood, several locking drawers with a few secret compartments for his convenience. It was made especially for him by a lucrative woodworker that had retired years ago but was honored at the chance to fill the request. It was a piece of art itself which Bucky took pride in its care.
As you reached the substantial desk you found it mostly void of clutter, aside from his computer, a few normal desk items, and a pictures of him and Steve as children. All that was occupying the top was a contract and a few photos littered above the paper.
“James please don’t tell me you made me end my meeting with the Odinson’s to help you find this contract?” You bent over the desk to palm the document and heard him growl behind you.
“Ahhh, there it is….”
“There is what? Bucky, there is barely anything on your desk. What could you have possibly lost?”
“You.”
Ohh…
His hands immediately glided over your backside inching their way down to the helm of your pencil skirt. When the warmth of his palms reached your ass you struggled to keep your legs from collapsing. God, he did have a way with you.
“I’ve been thinking about you bent over my desk all day.” One hand abandoned a cheek and came to rest on your lower back sliding up and pressing your upper half down to the cool surface of the wood. He leaned forward, his chest gliding across your back and that’s when you could feel the prominent bulge nestle itself into the crook of your backside. “I’ve had to cancel two meetings today because I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything but the thought of my favorite girl.”
The breath in your lungs caught as his hand slipped under the hem of your skirt and shifted the fabric up exposing your thigh high garter lingerie. You could hear him scenting the air as his finger hooked under the strap that kept the stocking up letting it snap back to your over sensitive flesh.
You swallowed hard trying to calm your voice. “Bucky, I‘m.. I’m really busy today. I don’t have the time…” Oh god, there was no conviction in that statement at all. It was mostly breathy words lost in a whirlwind of lust.
“Are you sure, doll? Because your body is telling me different.” Bucky pressed in closer and the dark chuckle that warmed the shell of your ear did not help the growing wetness between your legs. “If your arousal wasn’t so thick in the air that I could taste it, I might have believed that little protest.” His fingers moved further, slipping past the string of your thong and seeking the wetness of your cunt. “Mmm always so nice and wet for me.” The rough pad of his finger ran gently over your throbbing clit and your body lurched into the desk at the sensation.
“Fuck—”, your body immediately rocked back to gain more attention from him. He was so, so good at this.
The deep rumble that vibrated up his chest intensified as his finger worked the bud with precision. How quick he could bring you to the verge of bliss, it was incredibly -truly a talent. “I know your time is important, doll. That’s why I pay you an outlandish salary. Your talents are worth every penny. But those idiots don’t deserve another second of your presence. As a matter of fact, Steve is ending our contract with them this evening.”
The words barely registered when his finger abandoned its current task and sunk into the tight heat of your pussy. "B-Bucky”, was the only thing you could gasp but it was like he could read the questions roaming in your mind.
“I’ve noticed how Loki looks at you. I‘m sure he wants to know what it would be like to touch you, to fuck you, taste you….speaking of.” The warmth of his body left in an instant dropping just behind you. His hands spread you wide and with a quick rip the underwear that was keeping his prying eyes from their prize lay in shreds just at your feet.
Not one to waste time, Bucky’s lips pressed close, the tip of his tongue continuing where his finger had left off. Feather soft it moved around your clit, over and over until you were mewling out obscenities and the desk took your weight as your legs gave out under his ministrations.
“Do you want me to stop, sweet girl? Is this not worth your time?” Bucky mumbled into the soft wet folds of your cunt. “Or would you like for me to continue?” His hot tongue ran along your spread cheeks, and you squealed in pleasure.
Your fingers ran along with the smooth wood surface pushing back against his mouth. You needed more, needed to be closer, needed him to stop talking. “I swear to god if you stop I’ll call Rogers and ask if he’s free this evening.”
Oh, that did it, his fingers dug into your hips and the mobster made a menacing sound from deep in his chest.
“Not nice making threats Ms. L/N….”, his tongue sunk quickly into your open core, stretching and probing with slow agonizing movements.
When your pleasure began to build, you found yourself rocking against his face taking in deep breaths until the heat of your climax rushed through you. Your back arched until you were nearly bent backwards as Bucky worked you right through the blissful high of your orgasm. His thick tongue stroked and rolled along your walls coaxing your climax to the peak until your limbs were shaking from the sheer intensity of it.
Your fingers curled across the wooden surface trying to catch your breath and desperately trying to be as quiet as possible.
As the effects of your orgasm slowly began to fade you barely heard the belt come undone and the zipper descend but as Bucky’s large hands wrapped around your throat, you knew the boss was about to claim his prize.
His tip, wet with pre-cum, ran along your oversensitive clit a few times before his grip tightened around your throat pulling you up and back, flush to his chest.
“Say it.” He whispered while sucking the bottom lobe of your ear between his teeth. “You know what I want to hear, doll.”
You swallowed and moaned softly as the tip of his cock dipped in just a bit. “Please, pl-lease sir…”
“Louder.”
“Please Sir, I need it. Need you to fuck me, please.” You whimpered loud enough for the large room to catch the echo.
The mobster groaned out his approval, pinning you back to the desk with his weight before slowly filling you with every inch of his aching cock. "Oh doll, I‘m gonna fuck you, gonna fuck you just the way you like. Just how you deserve it.“
As his hot pulsing cock split you open deliciously slow, you writhed beneath him, expelling soft breathless moans at the stretch. No matter how many times you’d spend with Bucky, you needed a few moments to adjust to his length and girth.
Luckily Bucky was aware of the time needed to get used to him and took great pride in listening to you gasp and moan while he invaded you until he was fully seated.
His hips tilted further pressing the head of his cock to the opening of your cervix. “I’m going to leave you so messy, my precious girl.” His hands moved to your shoulders running down the curve of your back until his fingers encircled your hips. “You look perfect like this.” He husked, tightening his grip just a little. “Sprawled over my desk, stretched around my cock. You always feel so good, warm, snug like you were made for me.”
“G..Getting sentimental on me Mr. Barnes?”
“You have always done things to me sweetheart. You know exactly what you do to me. I may be your boss, but you fucking own me.”
Rotating your hips you rested your forehead against the cool wood, “Is that so, Mr. Barnes?“
„I love it when you call me Mr. Barnes. Love how my name rolls from your pretty lips, makes me want to—" The first full thrust of his hips rocked you forward, the table moving a few inches with the force and gaining the first moan of his name. It always took the breath from your lungs with the power behind his thrusts. You were sure his cock could leave bruises when he was in the right mood to be rough, but today was different. Today he may be in a mood, but he was hungry for something else. His hands were roaming over your body; his thrusts were full yet gentle, so very unconventional, so not like James B. Barnes. But who were you to question it, it was complete and utter bliss and just a few seconds in you could already feel the steady rise of your second climax.
Soon his left hand abandoned your hip to palm the back of your head, grabbing a fist full of hair. He pulled with authority, pulled you back and tilted your head to gain access to your lips. His mouth slanted over yours, claiming it in a desperate and sloppy kiss. His other hand slipped under your body, wrapping around your waist and pulling you back to him without faltering in his rhythm.
Bucky was devouring your moans while each slap of flesh against flesh sounded throughout the massive office. It was intense to say the least and the sounds coming from his throat made you weak in the knees. Groans and deeper grunts escaped him with each disconnect of your lips.
The knot in your belly began to tighten; tingling, rushing expanding until the band snapped and your second orgasm rushed through your system like a fucking train.
“Oh fuc…..shi-!” Words lost your body tensed making it difficult for the massive length current battering your insides to continue its assault.
Bucky’s arm wrapped tighter around your waist and the other snaked between your thighs doing his best to drive you higher. He wanted to wring one more out of you and needed to watch it unfold before his very eyes before he allowed himself to cum.
As your muscles relaxed becoming numb in his arms, Bucky turned you over resting your body on the edge of his desk before he cupped your face. His lips slid over yours, connecting your mouths once again. It was messy, all tongue and teeth and you moaned.
“Do you think you have another one in you, doll? Can I get you to cum one more time for me, hm?”, his mouth moved back to you neck and he traveled all the while down your front, his palm urged you back on the desk as his teeth gently bit down on your left nipple.
Your breath finally settled but still drunk on your high you watched his mouth work at both your breasts. Your eyes caught his hand moving over his slick cock in the process and it was torture, you immediately found the emptiness growing inside of you. Squirming at his attentions your fingers wrapped around his thick wrist.
“Bucky… please. Stop teasing me.”
“So impatient today.” He chuckled lowly. Rising to his full height once again, he moved forward tapping the head of his cock against your cunt, slowly dragging the tip from your clit down to you entrance. He delighted in your face as your flesh parted to accept his length once again. He pushed until your eyes widened at the pressure of him, as his pelvis met with your thighs.
“Fuck, you feel so good, so tight. Just for me, sweetheart.”
The heat of him split you open again invading your body so exquisitely you let out a sigh. Eyes closed you relished the feeling and whispered what he wanted to hear. “Only for you.”
Bucky stilled for a moment, eyes closed, and you could feel his cock throb inside of you. His large hands moved up your thighs over your hips and up your waist. “Say it again.” He demanded leaning over you, blue eyes open full of intensity.
Your hands went up to grip at his collar and pull him down. He took that moment to start a slow rhythm as you brought your mouth to his ear. “Only for you, sir”
His tempo increased immediately. “Again.”
“Yours, Bucky“
“Fuck- one more time. Say it again, doll, come on.“ Harder and harder he drove into you.
You could hear the beginnings of desperation in his voice. He needed this, he needed you and maybe you needed him just as much. He was rutting into you now, chasing his peak blindly as he listened to you give yourself to him. “I’m yours Bucky, every part of me.” You could feel the heat rise in your belly, inching its way through your veins. As it bloomed inside, you took in deep breaths clutching at his arms wildly. He drove into you with purpose nearly knocking the breath from your lungs. His strength was second to none and you would be sore after that, no doubt. “Shit, Buck-"
“I’m close, so fucking close baby. God you feel so fucking good.” Bucky reached down, sliding his palm under your knee to lift your leg over his shoulder to gain a new angle.
The pressure increased as Bucky somehow thrusted even deeper and now managing to make contact with that beautiful little spot within you, over and over bringing the slow climb of you climax to a boiling point. Your body tensed with each connection arching and writhing until you were practically screaming his name. Then those words, such beautiful sinful words, made it all come crashing down around you.
“Cum for me, doll.“
As those words left his beautiful lips your body answered going super nova. The heat flushed your system pulling at every muscle in your body seizing them up. Mouth open screaming soundlessly as stars burst like the fucking fourth of July behind your vision you wrung down on Bucky. One, two, three and one final thrust, Bucky drove forward, your body swallowing every available inch he provided.
With his head falling back, he groaned as the force of his climax racked him to the core. Each continuing thrust of his hips emptied more of himself into you. His fingers gripped tighter, his teeth clenching and he gave you all of him.
After a few second, the ringing in your ears finally stopped and your breathing slowly returned to normal. You could feel your body buzzing from the endorphin coursing through your blood stream, it made you almost giddy giving way to a silly grin. Shifting a little you could still feel him, hard as a rock and his hips tilted pressing forward just enough to gain your attention. As your eyes opened you found his blue eyes looking down at you.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you look like this? Still stuffed with my cock, messy hair, sweaty… a gorgeous, mess with that happy grin of yours.” Bucky leaned down to take a small kiss, slipping his tongue along your bottom lips with a quick flick. “I would like to see you like this every day if you’d let me.”
The feeling of bliss increased at the kiss and confession, “Mr. Barnes“, you started teasingly, "What exactly are you implying?”
“Be mine, all mine. I can’t stop thinking about you, doll. Throughout the day you wander into my thoughts, and it makes me happy. Something I haven’t been in a very long time, and I found I don’t want to lose that, lose you. I would like this to be more than just casual.”
“I have always been yours Bucky.”
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coffeecatsandcandles · 2 days ago
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𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐕- 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫
widow!dad!teacher!Bucky x f!teacher!Reader (ft. Rebecca Barnes and other friends)
Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings: Angst, grief, chapter focuses mostly on James and Rebecca.
Ever since you declared your relationship with James, he’s been acting rather distant. It was as if you’d both gotten what you wanted, and now you were just partners, living the boring, domestic lives you’d wanted with each other. You wanted it to feel more than that, but you weren’t sure exactly what it was that made you feel like that.
You would you stay with him overnight a few times, you sometimes drove to work together, and Rebecca was now aware that you were dating her dad, but nothing felt magical anymore. You were sure it would’ve if you hadn’t been rushed into it all, giving you and James more time to play around before stepping into a regular, normal relationship when you were both ready. Now you felt like you had been pushed into playing house with him instead of gradually and carefully like you wanted.
Not to say that it didn’t all feel good- it did. It felt great, most times. Even without the sex, and despite him being distant, James was still a wonderful partner. The days you woke up next to him and cooked breakfast with him were your favorites.
When it came to the sex, James found his stride again. After the first time where you let him finish instead of you, he rediscovered the art of pleasuring a woman. There were countless times where you and James made love that felt sweet and romantic, and other times where you experimented with things that were more rough. You couldn’t complain about the way he was treating you, or the way he made love to you, but something still felt off.
There was just that feeling- that icky feeling in your core that made you feel like you were intruding on something that was already established. That feeling that made you wonder why James was being so distant, maybe he felt it too. He never really talked about his wife, though you wanted to encourage him to. You just weren’t sure how to open up that type of conversation with someone you’d just started dating. ‘Hey, I know you’re dating me now, but do you mind telling me about your dead wife?’ None of it felt natural. It felt intrusive, if anything.
But you still cared about him so deeply. And you could tell he cared about you, too. The glances you’d sneak during dinners, the way he kissed you in private, he knew how to make a woman feel loved. And Rebecca loved it too. You tried to keep the PDA to a minimum around her, but she’d giggle and squeal at the occasional kisses you’d share in front of her. You’d even gone as far as having a day with Rebecca, which consisted of shopping, getting dinner, and lots and lots of pictures. Your phone was full of pictures of the three of you, and so was James’s.
Two months of dating and you’d managed to ignore the occasional icky feelings. James did the same. He’d push away those feelings of wanting to distance himself because he really liked you. He didn’t want to ruin this, no matter how abruptly it all happened.
But ignoring those feelings didn’t last long. Eventually, they resurfaced.
It started small- he stopped kissing you as often as he did. It usually was a string of at least a dozen spontaneous but passionate kisses throughout the day, the first one always being while the two of you woke up. Then the morning kisses stopped, and eventually you were lucky if you even got more than one in the day.
Then he’d make excuses for not spending lunch with you. He was behind on work, had a student making up a quiz, wasn’t hungry. You were left in your classroom all alone during your lunch periods, eating the lunch you made together.
But what drew the line was how he felt about you and Becca. At first, he was absolutely obsessed with the two of you, knowing you were glad to fill the role of Mom for her. The girls’ days, the way she absolutely adored you, the matching pajamas you bought for the two of you- it was all so beautiful. But when things actually got serious, he took on the parent role. He wouldn’t give you a chance to calm Becca down if she was throwing a tantrum or help him with the hard stuff- it always had to be him, as if he didn't trust you to help. Even when you tried, he’d always say, “It’s okay, I got this.” You couldn’t help but feel hurt when he did that. You were in this too, you wanted to help him be a parent. Becca needed you, too.
Then the dance had to happen. The fucking dance.
“Mommy-Daughter dance? People still do those?” James asked, setting down the flyer Rebecca had given him when he picked her up from school. Of course Rebecca didn’t explicitly ask you, but you knew she wanted you to go with her.
“I think it’s cute. It’s a chance for moms to get together and hang out with their daughters. Didn’t they have a Daddy-Daughter one?”
“Yeah, but Bec and I didn’t go. I wouldn’t be caught dead at one of those things.” Sure, James loved his daughter unconditionally, but he would rather spare himself the embarrassment of standing by a table of snacks with other clueless dads as their daughters jumped around together to whatever Top 40 song was playing.
“That’s where you and I are different, that sounds like fun to me,” you teased, kissing his cheek and trying to keep the conversation light. You could tell he had a bad day, whether it be from his students being too wild or the phantom pains on his left side he told you about. “I might go with Bec, we’ll see if I can.”
“Why? You’re not her mom.”
James definitely didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. He didn’t even know how he meant it, he just said it and instantly regretted it.
You turned to face him, clearly hurt, “Ouch?”
Shit. It was too late to dig himself out of this one. He’d already offended you, there was no way he’d be able to redeem himself. “I just mean- you don’t have an obligation to go. What if Becca doesn’t want to?”
“Then we won't,” you stated, “What the hell, James? You do realize I care about Rebecca, right? I wouldn’t just ignore it if she wanted to go. We are a team, remember? I’m the closest thing to a mom-“
“She has a mom.” James said, his eyes stinging.
“I know she does,” you tried lowering your voice to keep the conversation calm, “I just thought it’d be fun, that’s all. I’m sorry if I crossed a line.” You lowered your head, avoiding eye contact with him. You knew he could be grumpy, but you always thought he’d spare that side of him for you.
“No, don’t be sorry. I had a rough day and I’m just taking it out on you. I’m sorry.” James took in a deep sigh, wrapping his arms from behind you as you sat at the kitchen island.
His hold was comfortable on you. You wanted to just forgive and forget, but it bugged you too much to ignore. “Do you really think that about me? That I’ll never be her mom?”
James was silent- he feared telling you the truth. At least the truth phrased in a positive way- you’ll never be her mom because you didn’t give birth to her, but you could do everything in your power to be as close to a mom as Rebecca could get. No- why was he having such a hard time calling you Becca’s mom? Or at least, her stepmom? Every time he found himself close to saying it, all he could hear was his wife in his head.
You were taken back by his lack of response. Defeated, you spoke again. “Okay.”
“No, I just-“ James rushed to find words. He could tell he was losing you. “What if one day we end things and then she gets confused? She’s gonna think another mom just up and left her.”
“When are you gonna stop thinking that? I want to stay in this. Do you? Because if you don’t then I’ll leave. Right now.”
Before the logical part of James’s brain could process what you’d just said, the stupider, reckless part of his brain was speaking for him. “Fine.”
Tears welling up in your eyes, you stared at him blankly. “Just like that?”
“I know what’s best for me and my daughter. And if you don’t think you’re the fit, why bother staying?” God, he couldn’t stand seeing you cry.
Shut up, he wanted to yell to himself, shut up, shut up, shut up and apologize. Hold her, she’s the only woman who’s seen you for you in a long time.
“Did you not hear everything I was just saying? I do think I’m a good fit. I think I’m perfect for Becca, actually. But clearly you don’t think the same thing, so I’ll just go. I’m sorry I have to do this to her too. She doesn’t deserve it.”
James watched you walk out of his house, giving him ample time to apologize, but he remained still. As much as he was internally screaming to move or say something, he couldn’t. James did nothing but watch you walk out of his house and out of his life.
The following month wasn’t any easier. Daily, James dealt with a tantrum from Becca. Her therapist told him this was a new, scary transition for her. One minute she had you, someone who was like a mom to her, then the next, you were gone. The meetings that occurred every other week turned every week, most of those meetings consisting of Rebecca crying over how much she missed you.
The meetings where James was able to sit in were harder than the ones where he could wait in the lobby. Having to hear Rebecca tell him basically everything he lacked as a father broke his heart into a million tiny pieces and made it unrepairable.
James was also in therapy. He talked to his counselor about losing his wife, dating you, and eventually, the breakup.
“Do you think there’s still a part of you that thinks your wife will come back?” His therapist’s words struck him in a way he never expected.
For the first time in years, James found himself willing and able to cry. He sobbed during that therapy session, knowing his therapist was exactly right.
He was still waiting for her to come back.
Despite being in that car, knowing what happened.
Despite having gone to her funeral.
Despite the fact that it'd been over seven years. too
At her funeral, at every birthday party Becca had, he didn’t let himself fully cry. When Rebecca asked him questions that tugged at his heart strings, he didn’t allow himself to cry. Finally feeling emotion and letting himself do what he’d been holding back for years felt better than anything he could’ve imagined. He always felt the need to put up a wall around others- let them know he was stern, harsh, and didn’t cry. But that didn’t always have to be the case, especially with a young daughter. Crying is okay, crying helps.
“Here’s what I think you should do,” James’s therapist, Dr. Banner, said as his sobs died down, “If you have any old pictures or old videos of her, look at them. Allow yourself to look at her and say goodbye.”
James almost didn’t want to- he knew how badly it would hurt. But he had to admit to himself that he was pushing wonderful people like you away because he wasn’t truly over the death of his wife. Though there was somewhat of a relief to know he wasn’t in a relationship, he couldn’t deny that he missed you. He still couldn’t stop thinking about you, even after knowing you were avoiding him like the Plague.
That evening, after Rebecca went to sleep, he went down to the basement of his home, which was the one area of his home he neglected. Cobwebs and creaky floors took over the area, but James was only here for one thing.
He kept a box of his wife’s things hidden down here, in an area Becca would never find, if she even dared to go downstairs to the scary basement.
Old clothes, expired makeup, and photos and home videos- all the things he kept for himself instead of adding it to the mantle for Rebecca. Her college graduation photo, the cherry red lipstick she wore almost every day, even old documents with her signature that James had found after her death. He kept it all here and almost forgot about it. There was the occasional day where he really wanted to talk to her and came down here, like a grave, to get some kind of fulfillment. The kind that only a grown-up could understand, which is why he'd never told Rebecca about it. He couldn't imagine her understanding wanting to keep a seven-year-old tube of mascara. She couldn't understand that it was important because it was hers, a small piece of her everyday life- proof of her existence.
He figured, Dr. Banner’s advice couldn’t have been tooterrible. He grabbed the box of home videos and made his way back upstairs.
James watched as the DVD player buffered for a second, attempting to recognize the disc.
Then, there she was.
“I look terrible, don’t film me,” she smiled, looking shyly away from the camera. James remembered this, though a part of him knew the video would be short. Her voice had the power to ease every wound in his heart. He'd missed it so much.
“Come on, you look beautiful.” He heard his own voice, almost unfamiliar as he sounded much younger.
She blushed at his words, though still continued to try and hide her face. She held a newborn Rebecca in her arms. This had been the day they brought Rebecca home from the hospital.
“Honey, I haven’t showered. I don’t feel like myself, I probably look ridiculous.”
“Fine, I won’t record my gorgeous wife and my adorable daughter,” James complied lightly, setting down the camera. James could’ve sworn he stopped recording, but by the looks of it, he hadn’t. The camera was perfectly facing the nursery James remembered he’d spend all weekend working on. A soft pink with white accents, straight out of a fairytale- he was so proud of his work. “Come on, in case you were wondering what I was up to all weekend.”
“James… I thought we agreed on green. It’s calmer than whatever this is.”
Suddenly, James and his wife were in frame again, obvious frustration on their faces. “What? She’s a baby, does it matter?”
“It does to me,” she said, taking a moment to smell her surroundings, “and why’d you have to do it so late? It smells like paint in here.”
“No it doesn’t,”
Rebecca started whining in her mother's arms, seemingly worsening the situation. “See? She already hates it. I’m not letting my daughter sleep in a room that smells like this.” She walked out with baby Rebecca in her arms, James chasing after her.
“Baby, come on,” The camera must’ve died shortly after, because there wasn’t much after that.
James found himself laughing and crying at the same time. He missed her so immensely that he’d forgotten little things like this. Little arguments that made them them. Her personality- the way she was so vibrant.
That was who Rebecca was. She didn't know it, but she was her mom. In every single way.
“Is that Mommy?” James heard a little voice ask from around the corner. He turned to find his daughter standing behind him, carrying a blanket.
“Yeah,” James answered, wiping up his tears. He hadn’t expected her to wake up, but he wasn’t going to send her back to bed. “Do you wanna watch?”
Becca nodded. She climbed onto the couch as James put in another disc, one labeled “Wedding”.
Both James and Rebecca were greeted by a video of her getting ready, a bright smile on her face as she put on that same cherry red lipstick she loved.
When James returned to the couch, Rebecca climbed onto his chest and laid there, eyes fixated on the screen.
“See, your mom was super shy, so we had to be sneaky when we filmed her.” He said, bringing his flesh hand to her hair and petting it.
“She looks like a princess,” Rebecca said.
“She looks like you.” James smiled, watching Rebecca’s eyes light up as her mom continued to be on screen. It had cut to the party now, to a slightly drunk Steve giving his best man speech. “Doesn’t Uncle Steve look different now?”
As James’s eyes remained on Becca, he watched her expression change. At first she was happy to see her mom, dad, and Uncle Steve on screen. Then her face had fallen to a small frown, and James watched her eyes well up with tears.
“Hey, what’s wrong, bug?”
Rebecca just dug her face in James’s chest and started to cry. “I want Mommy.” She whined, snot and tears staining her father’s navy blue shirt.
“I know you do, baby. I know it’s hard-“
“No, Daddy. I wanna talk to her. I wanna hug her and eat dinner with her. I want a Mommy.” That was the first time James had ever heard Rebecca actually use her words to tell him why she was crying. She had become so well-spoken, it was almost like his seven-year-old was better at having an adult conversation than him. “I know you’re my Daddy and that should be enough for me, but I want a Mommy too.”
James felt the waterworks coming again. But instead, he let them go. He didn’t try to hide them anymore. This time, he welcomed them as he held Rebecca, consoling her and crying with her. And it helped. He didn’t want her to think he was some emotionless monster, that it was okay to have these feelings. If there was one thing James realized he wanted Rebecca to know, it was that it’s okay to feel.
After a while, the sobs died down, and Rebecca had fallen back asleep on her dad’s chest. He carried her back to her room, kissing her forehead before turning everything off and heading to bed himself. Though he was tired, he laid awake thinking about everything he’d just heard and seen.
He also thought about you.
How perfect you really were for this family. How he needed you, and so did Rebecca. He was wrong to shut you out, knowing there was no way in hell you’d take him back.
How even he and his wife had their issues, despite how perfect he made them seem.
He gave you big shoes to fill and impossibly high standards. Of course you couldn’t compete, he made it impossible for you to. You were so good to him, so patient with Rebecca and so loving. He struck gold with you, and he scared you away.
No, he had to get you back.
He sat up abruptly, thinking to himself, ‘What the fuck am I doing just laying here?’
He looked at the time. 9PM. It wasn’t too late, Steve could still be awake.
James sighed in relief when Steve picked up. “Steve! You gotta come over, I need you to watch Becca.”
“Is she okay? Are you okay? Is someone hurt?”
“No, Steve, we’re fine, I just- I made a huge fucking mistake. I need her to forgive me, I need her to take me back.”
And Steve knew exactly who James was talking about. “It’s about time, punk. I’ll be there in ten.”
As soon as Steve arrived to his home, James bolted out the door and to his car, looking at the time and praying you’d still be awake. He needed to let you know that he was wrong. That he was stupid for putting that pressure on you and that he should’ve known- of course you weren’t his wife, you were you, and that should’ve been good enough for him.
He remembered which apartment was yours, knocking on the front door and waiting. He saw a window he presumed was yours, which was dark, and almost gave up. But when the light flickered on from inside, he felt his heart flutter in his chest. The sound of you unlocking the door only heightened his excitement- he felt like a little kid on Christmas morning.
You opened the door, and James couldn’t help but marvel at your beauty. This was the you he always wanted to see- your most beautiful, authentic form. The you that was more maternal, a teacher, she was wonderful too, but this version was by far had to be his favorite.
You squinted at him, unsure if he was actually there or if this was just a dream. “James? What are you doing here? Is Becca oka-“
Before you could even finish your sentence, James had leaned in to kiss you, taking his time to remember every muscle your body made as it moved closer to him and every touch that lingered on his skin from your hands.
He pulled away, examining every angle of your face. “I love you.”
“James-“
“Please, just hear me out for a second. When someone dies, you kind of get this feeling like… like they never did anything wrong. You don’t want to think about it or bring it up because then you look like an asshole. My wife, I always tried to keep this perfect image of her for Rebecca, and as much as I loved her, she wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes. I’m sorry for thinking that we had to be like that. I want you, and every flaw that comes with you. To be honest, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. So if you’ll give me a second chance…” James felt tears begin to brim his eyes, “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose anyone again. I’m sorry.”
You felt yourself beginning to cry to. How was this the same grumpy man who never talked about his feelings? This was the most honest and genuine you’d ever seen him, and it broke your heart into a million pieces.
“You’re not going to lose me.” You said, “I love you, too.”
Leaning in to kiss him again, you wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. An embrace he needed. You felt him let out a quiet sigh in relief, as if he was letting go of every stressing feeling that had a hold on him. Like he was finally starting to show his true colors, unafraid to be vulnerable.
James Barnes kept his heart buried deep, deep down in his chest to keep it from getting harmed again. You were in love with a man who was completely broken. But he stood before you, making do with the pieces he found on his own and giving you a second chance to help make him whole again.
And you were so proud of him for it.
-
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margarethx · a day ago
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As much as I like seeing Sambucky using cute pet names for each other even in moments of high tension or in conflict I’m also a big fan of the reverse trope where – no matter how long they’ve been together – they still refer to their partner as “dude”, “man”, or “this guy” on regular basis.
Something about Sam fondly saying “dude...” after Bucky proposed or about Bucky referring to Sam as “this guy over there” instead of “my husband” after over 10 years of their very public marriege is very fitting for their relationship.
(You can also combine the two versions and make them use “sweetheart” and “love” just as often as “man” and “Wilson”/”Barnes” to keep the people around them confused. Are they saying “darling” ironically? Did they start using last names more often, because they’re mad at each other? You’ll never know and these two certainly won’t clarify.)
--- ----- --- ----- ---
Sam *over the phone*: Hey, sweetheart :) Could you buy some sugar on your way home. I completely forgot about it today.
Bucky: Yeah. Sure thing, man.
Sam: Thank you, darling.
Bucky: Love you!
Sam: Bro... same.
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likeahorribledream · a day ago
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ᴏɴᴇ ꜱɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ
Summary: Bucky is trying to get used to being around other people again and turns to you for comfort, one simple touch is all it takes to make him feel at peace with himself.
Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 5.7k
Warnings: I think it's mostly fluff, maybe a teeny tiny bit of angst for 0.01 second
Requests: Fluffy piece with Bucky where reader is trying to get Buck to feel more comfortable with touch so reader braids his hair and he gets really relaxed and soft because he’s not used to it. Like a gentle kiss or something too.
Maybe after Wakanda, he and reader are friends and Reader asks to braid Bucky’s hair and it’s just really fluffy. Maybe with a head massage and Buck has never gotten one before so he just melts?
ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
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Bucky found it difficult to get used to being around people again. For over 70 years the people that were always circling around him were usually probing, poking or hurting him. Steve had suggested to Bucky to move in the tower, join the group. He assured him he would have his own living space and no one is going to force anything on him if there's something he doesn't want to do. Bucky had his doubts but fortunately he was proven wrong. He had almost an entire floor to himself, the doors in his apartment locked from the inside and if someone wanted to see him they knocked and waited for him to allow them inside. Privacy had almost become a foreign concept to him but now that he had it, he never wanted to let it go again.
It took him a couple of months before being comfortable enough to join the rest of the group when they hung out together or ate together. It was a lot of people to deal with at the same time, lots of loud noises and voices overlapping. Bucky was used to silence, calm, darkness and solitude. Hanging with the Avengers was everything but any of those things.
You had joined the Avengers only a few months before Bucky moved in. Steve had been the one to find you and introduce you to Tony. You were a little genius, even more so than Tony and it didn't take long to realize that your wonderful brain was a needed addition to the group. You always came up with weapons ideas, battle strategies and flawless plans. The way your brain worked was almost magical. You could analyze something and within seconds you had come up with a solution or an idea. When Steve brought you in he thought you were only going to work in the labs but as it turns out, you had very useful skills for the battlefield as well and now you were pretty much around all the time.
You were quite reserved, no matter how many times you had tried breaking out of your shell. You were like Bucky in that way; solitude and silence had been your only companions for so long that it was hard to get used to being with so many people all at once.
Even if you weren't familiar with being around people, there was something about you that made others gravitate towards you. Your presence was soothing, calming. You were soft in more than one way and your colleagues liked that. You were always smiling, even if you were having a rough day. You always made the time to listen to other people's problems even when you should have focused and used your energy on your own problems.
Steve was your favorite from the group. Tony liked to make the joke that you were both elderly in some type of way and that's why you got along so perfectly.
You could see a small part of you in Steve. Not Captain America, but the little Brooklyn boy that was still there buried under pounds and pounds of muscles. He always made you feel like you could be your true self around him, he never judged you or made fun of you. He was a great friend and you told him that almost every day.
Bucky liked being around you, even if he had never actually talked to you except for the occasional hi and how are you, in passing. He gave himself small goals to achieve and when he'd be ready to try to make more friends aside from Steve, you were his very first choice. The top of his list. It terrified him and excited him at the same time, there's always the fear of being rejected because of who he is, who he was and what he has done. None of it is a secret, apparently people can read about him on the internet though he's never checked. Steve tried to tell him time and time again that no one would judge him for the things he did when he didn't have control over his mind but Bucky found that hard to believe, so he didn't.
One night, Bucky woke up from a nightmare which wasn't unusual. The throbbing pain in his head was a new, unwelcomed addition. He can't even remember the last time he had a headache, even less a migraine. He turned around in bed trying to find a comfortable position with his neck stiffening with every second that passed but he quickly realized that lying down was only making it worse. He got out of bed and went down to the shared living room to sit in the dark, hoping it would help get rid of the pounding in his head. He hadn't expected to find you already there, sitting in a corner of the room with a few books scattered around you.
He wanted to turn back around to leave you in peace but it was too late, you had already seen him.
"Hi, James." You greeted him quietly with a smile that rapidly turned into a frown. "Are you ok?"
"Mh-mh. I'm fine. Why?"
You tilted your head to the side, narrowing your eyes as you looked at him. "You seem in pain."
"You've been looking at me for 5 seconds and you can tell I'm in pain?" He asked, surprised. People usually have a lot of trouble figuring him out but he should have known that you were going to be different.
"What's wrong?" You asked, avoiding answering his question because that would mean telling him that you liked looking at him from time to time and that's just creepy.
"I woke up and my head's pounding. I can't make it stop." He admitted, knowing it was useless to try and lie to you.
"I'm guessing medication wouldn't have any effect on your system because of the serum?"
"Not even a little bit."
Your brain worked its magic to find a solution to his problem.
"Relaxing your muscles will help get rid of your migraine."
"I don't know how to do that." He sighed.
"I can help, if you want. I'd have to touch your head, maybe a little bit of your neck and shoulders."
"At this point I'm willing to try anything."
"Sit on the couch."
He did as you said and you made him sit sideways so that you could kneel behind him on the couch.
"You say the word and I'll stop, ok?"
He nodded. "Just do your thing."
You started by massaging his temples with your fingertips, drawing small, soothing circles there. You then moved up to the top of his head where you ran your fingers through his hair, moving them away from his face. With your thumbs, you followed down the tension from the sides of his neck all the way to the middle of his shoulder blades.
Bucky's eyes fluttered closed under your touch. It gave him goosebumps and shivers every time your fingers touched his skin.
He didn't even flinch when you started rubbing at his neck and slowly worked your way down to his shoulders. You were massaging directly onto the skin, thanks to the tank top he wore to bed giving you easy access. You started with the right one and when you moved to the other side, you hesitated.
Bucky could feel your hesitation and knew you wouldn't want to touch him there.
"Is it ok if I do your left side?" You asked him quietly.
It was such a simple question but it left Bucky speechless. Like having headaches, he can't remember when was the last time someone asked permission to touch his left arm. You didn't hesitate because you were uncomfortable or disgusted, you hesitated because you wanted to respect his boundaries and he could have cried just from the simple question. Truthfully, he almost did.
"Yes." He whispered, not trusting his voice to go any louder.
You were very careful when you massaged his left shoulder. There was so much scarring tissue, you weren't sure if he could even feel anything because of it.
"Do you still have nerve endings?" You finally asked, still gently massaging where metal met skin.
"Yes."
"Does it hurt sometimes?"
"All the time." He admitted.
"I'm sorry." Not for asking the question but for everything he went through and Bucky could tell simply by the tone of your voice. It wasn't pity, it was empathy. A sincere apology for something you didn't do but it still felt nice to have someone say those words to him and mean them.
When you feel him starting to really relax, you let your hands roam from his temples to his shoulders, and back again.
"How's your head?" You asked, 10 minutes later.
"A lot better. Thank you."
You smiled even if he couldn't see it. "Anytime. I'm glad I could help."
"Could you maybe… run your fingers through my hair a little while longer?" He asked quietly, slightly embarrassed and most definitely shy.
"You got it."
This time you used both hands and, though you didn't time it, you're pretty sure you did it for a full hour but never once did it bother you.
Bucky showed up in the living room a few more nights before it slowly began to become a routine for the two of you and your newly found friendship.
At first, Bucky only came to you in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep and he knew that you were most likely sitting in the dark, surrounded by opened books while your mind was racing all over the place. It didn't take long for him to notice that you took a lot on your shoulders, put a lot of pressure on yourself and you always felt like you needed to be perfect by fear of them kicking you out. This was your home, these were your friends, you didn't want to be left out on the street by yourself.
They would never do something like that but it was a constant fear at the forefront of your mind.
Soon after he realized that, Bucky was now coming to you every night. Even when he felt fine, because he was worried about you and he wanted to make sure that you would stop and rest, go to sleep even.
"Sweets, we talked about this." He said to you from the doorway, leaning his left shoulder on the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. "1:30 is your cut off time. Then you go to bed."
You looked up at him. "What time is it?"
"1:45"
"Oh. It's not that bad." You started closing the books around you.
"Because I came down. Wanna bet I would have found you here, like this if I had come an hour or two later?"
"I know, I know." You mumbled, stacking up your books neatly in the corner.
While you had your back to him, Bucky pushed himself off the doorframe and walked over to you to offer you his hands and help you up.
‘’Off to bed, sweet girl.’’ He gently nudged you towards the door, following behind you to make sure you actually headed to your room.
Already in your pajamas, you climbed into bed right away and gestured for Bucky to do the same. He shook his head.
‘’Another time, you need to rest. I’ll survive one night without you playing with my hair.’’
‘’Please.’’ You pouted. ‘’You know it helps me, too.’’
He stared at you. ‘’Fine.’’ He huffed, getting on your bed. ‘’Just for a few minutes, sweets. I’m serious, you need to sleep. That incredible brain of yours needs a break from time to time.’’
‘’A few minutes.’’ You repeated, like a promise.
Bucky sat with his back to you while you kneeled on your mattress behind him. You started the way you always do by massaging his temples and then moving up to his scalp. You could feel the way his skin rippled from the shivers and goosebumps, which never missed to make you giggle. Bucky loved hearing that sound coming out of you, it made his heart flutter in his chest every single time.
It didn’t take long for Bucky to start melting under your touch, his eyes fluttering close and his neck going almost limp. You knew you did a good job when you could see his shoulders slouch, a sign that he was fully relaxed. Only then would you stop massaging his head and start playing with his hair. What you loved to do was braid his hair, it’s just so soft and fluffy that you can’t help yourself. Bucky loved it too. He loved the feelings of your fingers running through his hair and the way you’d sometimes scratch at his scalp, barely grazing him but just enough to get to a hitch he didn’t know he had until you touched him.
You’d braid his hair, then undo it by running your fingers through it and then you’d start all over again.
You always ended your little routine by massaging his left shoulder where skin met metal, now that you knew that Bucky could still feel through the scar tissue. You were currently working on something for Tony and Bruce but the moment you are done you will be focusing on trying to find why and how his metal arm could irritate his skin so much.
You are the only person Bucky trusts enough to touch that arm. He doesn’t think he’d be that comfortable even with Steve. There’s something about you that just makes him trust you, almost as if he could tell just by looking at you that you were never going to do anything to harm him in any way.
He trusts his gut, it never stirred him wrong so far.
The little yawn that escaped your mouth broke him out of his trance to look at the clock on your nightstand.
‘’We said a few minutes.’’ Bucky groaned after realizing that it’s been 45 minutes.
‘’I know but you looked so relaxed, I didn’t want to stop.’’
He stood up from your bed, shaking his head. ‘’Go to sleep.’’
You chuckled and got under the cover, watching Bucky walking to the door.
‘’Good night, James.’’
‘’Good night, sweet girl.’’
You smiled at him before he turned off the light and walked out, silently closing the door behind him.
After that night, he started seeking you out during the day to make sure you’d always go straight to bed at night.
One day he knocked at your bedroom door and when you saw him walk in you could tell that he was mad.
‘’What’s wrong?’’ You sat up, looking up at him as he came closer.
‘’Don’t want to talk about it.’’ He mumbled, climbing on your bed.
He sat with his back leaning against your headboard and scooped you up long enough to sit you down between his legs with your back to his chest. Without a word, he started playing with your hair and did to you everything you do to him that he loves so much. It didn’t take long for his bad mood to be gone, back to his peaceful and relaxed state that he’s always in when you’re around.
Another morning he walked in after knocking looking sad. You sat up in your bed and felt your heart break at the sadness in his eyes.
‘’Nightmare?’’
He simply nodded and this time when he got on your bed instead of sitting he laid down, resting his head on your lap and closed his eyes. Your hands found their way to his head and you softly stroked his hair, whatever you could reach without disturbing him. You kept stroking his hair with your left hand and with your right hand you traced his features with your fingertip. You barely touched him, if he wasn’t so focused on your touch he probably wouldn’t have even known you were doing it but he could feel your finger moving along his hairline down to his ear, then your finger followed the curve of his ear down to his neck and went back up to his nose. You did this until he fell asleep.
One afternoon, you were the one looking for Bucky.
‘’Jamie.’’ You greeted him cheerfully when you found him sitting on the couch of the living room. You were clearly excited about something as you walked over to him. You stopped moving when you noticed that he was watching a documentary. ‘’Oh. You’re busy. I’m sorry.’’
‘’It’s ok, what’s up?’’ He turned his head to look at you.
‘’It’s nothing important. It can wait until you’re done.’’ You smiled.
He turned off the tv and put the remote down on the coffee table. ‘’Come here, sweet girl. Tell me.’’ He patted the empty seat next to him.
You were too excited to argue so you quickly joined him on the couch, sitting with your legs tucked under you. ‘’You know that tech that I’ve been working on that Tony came up with but it kept failing and he couldn’t figure out why?’’
He nodded, turning slightly to his side to look at you.
‘’It’s been driving me crazy because I couldn’t figure it out either and you know how much I hate it when I can’t solve something.’’ Your words were coming out so fast, Bucky had trouble keeping up sometimes but he was getting used to it. That’s how you get when you’re excited about something.
Without even realizing it, you were running your fingers through Bucky’s hair as you kept talking. ‘’I tested it over and over again, took it apart then put it back together, tested it again. It was driving me nuts, which is exactly what I said in my head and then I figured it out. I took it apart and instead of putting it back together like Tony showed me to, I did it my way and I added those tiny little nuts to tighten it all up. It fixed everything. Everything. But that’s not even the best part.’’
Bucky smiled as he listened to you but the position started to get uncomfortable so he grabbed you by the hips and made you straddle his lap instead so you could keep playing with his hair. He laid his hands flat on your back to keep you from falling backwards and none of it slowed you down in the slightest.
‘’I thought it was tech for you guys but turns out it was for Stark Industries, he’s going to patent it under my name and he’s going to pay me every time it’s sold. Around the world. Can you imagine? Something I did is going to be sold to people, under Tony’s name and he said he doesn’t put his name on just anything; it has to be perfect, flawless and genius. Those are the words he used.’’
Bucky chuckled when he noticed you were getting breathless from talking so much. ‘’That’s amazing, sweets. I can’t believe you said it was nothing and that it could wait. That’s huge news. You should be proud of yourself. I’m proud of you.’’
You smiled brightly at him and tucked his hair behind his ears. ‘’Sorry for messing with your hair.’’
‘’It’s ok.’’ He smiled back at you.
‘’How was your day?’’ You asked while moving a little closer, getting ready to listen to him.
As time went on and your friendship solidified, you could tell how Bucky was feeling just by the way he was seeking your touch. You didn’t need to say a word, you just watched him and waited to see if he wanted to talk about it.
When he curled up on your lap, you knew that he was either sad or feeling guilty and sometimes even both. When he sat behind you to play with your hair it meant that he was too angry to speak or sit still. When either of you was happy or excited and had something to share with the other, Bucky would sit you on his lap facing him with your legs on each side of his body so that he could look at the way your eyes would lit up at good news whether it was yours or his.
Bucky had never realized how touch starved he was until he let you into his life. He was so sure that other people’s touch terrified him, that he’d be spending the rest of his life literally pushing people away so they wouldn’t try to touch him but as it turns out, he loved it and craved it. Sometimes there were little pieces of his mind he would get back, snippets of his life from before the war of who James Bucky Barnes was before he was turned into a killing machine. He remembers smiling a lot. He always had this goofy grin plastered on his face and he could almost remember how light his chest used to feel without the crushing guilt that gnawed at him now. He used to laugh too, he used to make jokes and tease Steve. He wasn’t scared of anyone, quite the opposite. He was always surrounded by people; friends, family, girls he’d easily picked up by using his signature grin and a few charming words. It wasn’t unusual for him to be seen hand in hand with a woman he met earlier in the day. You brought that side out of him, you brought out the man he used to be and wanted to be again.
Steve had started to train and work out with Bucky. Every day they would go down to the gym and go at each other, full strength no holding back. They both loved it but Bucky was exhausted all the time. He had just enough energy to take a shower and then he’d crash. The first week was especially rough and Bucky was so tired that you hadn’t seen him at all. Steve noticed that it started to affect you, you weren’t as cheerful and without Bucky to tell you to go to bed you had spent a lot of nights awake and working.
Come Friday night, Steve had suggested watching a movie and even went to get Bucky from his room but came back down without him.
‘’Sorry.’’ He said when he saw your disappointment. ‘’He was sleeping and I don’t think he heard me through the door. I left a note under his door in case he wakes up.’’
‘’It’s ok. He’s better, he’s sleeping. That’s good.’’ You smiled but it didn’t really reach your eyes.
You were happy that Bucky had found something to keep him busy and make him feel good enough to sleep through the night but a selfish part of you was sad that you weren’t that something anymore. You missed your friend and the little moments you used to share together. It had been really hard for you to trust someone this much, to be completely yourself and let down all your guards. You went from being alone most of the time to having someone waiting for you and back to being alone and it left a bitter taste in your mouth.
You let Steve choose the movie and sat down on the couch, staying on your side and leaning your head against the armrest.
About halfway through the movie, a very sleepy Bucky walked into the living room holding up Steve’s post-it he had slid under his bedroom door.
‘’Got your note.’’
He hadn’t even noticed you when he first walked in because of how small you made yourself all curled up in the corner of the couch but he smiled when he saw you.
‘’Hey, you.’’ He walked over to you and sat down beside you. ‘’Got some hugs to spare for a bruised old man?’’
You untucked yourself and stood up. ‘’Sorry, I’m not feeling so great. I think I’m just going to head out to bed. Good night guys.’’
Before either of them could say something, you were gone.
‘’Is she ok?’’ Bucky turned to look at Steve.
Steve shrugged and turned off the TV. ‘’She’s been having a bad week.’’
‘’Really? What happened?’’
Steve waited a few seconds before speaking again, thinking of how he could explain it to Bucky. ‘’You’re not the only one who’s been having trouble fitting in, trusting people and allowing them into your life.’’
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ Bucky frowned.
‘’She’s had trouble too. She always feels out of place and she doesn’t like being around other people because they always make her feel like she’s different.’’
‘’Did someone say something to her?’’ Bucky stood up, ready to go to whoever it is that said something hurtful to you.
‘’Bucky, she used to be alone all the time and then you became friends and she wasn’t alone anymore because you were always together.’’
‘’Steve, get to the point.’’
‘’She’s been alone all week, she misses you.’’ Steve finally admitted.
‘’You could have lead with that, punk.’’ Bucky didn’t wait for Steve’s answer and left to find you.
He had hoped he could have caught up with you before you got to your room, and he probably would have if it wasn’t for Steve playing Riddler downstairs. He knocked on your door softly.
‘’Sweets, it’s me. Can you open up, please?’’
‘’It’s open.’’
He sighed with relief, he had been scared you weren’t going to let him in.
Bucky opened the door slowly, walked in then closed it. He got on your bed and lied down behind you over the covers. ‘’You must feel really bad because you’re in bed before 10.’’ He teased you, speaking softly. ‘’I’m not feeling great either. Maybe we got the same thing.’’
You quickly turned around when you heard Bucky wasn’t ok. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ You asked him, your worry was showing in your eyes and the little crease between your eyebrows.
‘’I miss my girl. I haven’t been able to hangout with her for almost a week and that’s way, way too long.’’ He kissed your forehead. ‘’I’m sorry I have been such a shitty friend.’’
‘’It’s ok, you’re busy and you have things to do. You can’t always have time for me.’’
‘’From now on, I’ll always make time for you.’’ He smiled and put your foreheads together. ‘’I really want to spend time with you because I really do miss you but right now all I have energy for is sleeping. Can I do that here? With you?’’
Your grin was all the answer he needed. He quickly put his arms around you and brought you with him when he turned to lie on his back. He tucked you into his side with the covers between you, letting you rest your head on his chest which allowed him to run his fingers through your hair to help you fall asleep.
‘’Good night, Sweets.’’
‘’Good night, Jamie.’’
Within a minute, the both of you were out cold.
Now that you had added this new ‘’activity’’ to the list of things you did together, it got a little easier to spend time together during busy days. It was easier for you to go to bed at a reasonable hour when you had someone waiting for you. It always made you laugh whenever Bucky would come into your bedroom, half-asleep from the day he’s had because he’s a super-soldier he’s not supposed to be this tired but you guess that’s what happens when your best friend is Steve Rogers, the overachiever who doesn’t like taking breaks. Ever.
Those nights, Bucky would come in wearing sweats and a tank top and get on your bed, crawl to you for dramatic effect and then lie down on top of you. He’d hide his face in your neck, stay awake long enough to ask you how you were doing and then he was out. If you were stroking his hair, then he’d just pass out mid-sentence.
Bucky went from avoiding people at all costs, to learning to trust people and himself around people, to craving being touched or hugged all the time. Not by just anyone though, it had to be you. Always you.
‘’Where’s Bucky?’’ You asked Steve after entering the gym, one afternoon.
‘’His room. Why? Something wrong?’’
"Thank you.’’ You said over your shoulder already halfway through the door and in the hall.
You knocked on his door and waited for his permission before entering.
‘’Hey, Sweets.’’ He smiled from where he was sitting on his bed, reading.
‘’Why aren’t you training?’’ You frowned, coming to stand next to his bed.
‘’My shoulder.’’
‘’I was hoping you’d say that!’’ The excitement in your voice made him frown and close his book.
‘’What did I do for you to be excited that I’m in pain?’’
You froze, slightly embarrassed. ‘’Oh, no. I’m sorry.’’ You shook your head and held out your hand in front of you to show Bucky a little tub of cream. ‘’I’ve been trying to stop getting so excited. I’m sorry. It’s just that I finished the cream for your shoulder and I think this time I got it right. I was happy that’d you’d be able to try it and hopefully it’ll work and you won’t be in pain anymore in a few minutes.’’
‘’Hey.’’ Bucky said softly, putting an end to your rambling. ‘’Never apologize to me for being yourself.’’
You almost apologized again but Bucky gave you a warning glare, making you laugh instead.
‘’Now, come on. Let’s try it.’’ He took off his shirt and watched as you straddled his lap and started rubbing in the cream.
You were very meticulous, you needed to make sure all the skin directly connected to his arm was covered.
‘’Now we just have to wait a few minutes to see if it works.’’ You put the cream down on the mattress next to you. ‘’What have you been reading?’’ You asked pushing his hair to his right side, making sure not to get cream on them.
‘’One of my favorite books from the 30s, Steve got it for me.’’
You smiled. ‘’That was sweet of him. What is it about?’’
‘’Nothing interesting.’’ He shrugged.
‘’Something has to be interesting if it’s one of your favorite books and Steve took the time to find it for you. C’mon. You listen to me talk about my work and research all the time, I want to hear about what you like.’’
‘’Are you sure?’’
You nodded with a big smile to show him you really were interested.
That’s when the flood gate opened and now Bucky couldn’t stop talking even if he wanted to. He had tried talking about his book with Steve but Steve was never interested and barely listened to him. He liked having someone to talk to that actually listened to him from start to finish. He spent most of the time explaining the book to you with his head down, flipping through pages as he did so. At some point Bucky looked up at you and his breath hitched in his throat at the sight in front of him. You were looking at him, truly listening to what he was saying and you had this cute little smile you always have whenever you’re happy and relaxed. What caught his breath though was the look in your eyes. He can’t remember the last time someone looked at him with that much love and adoration in their eyes, he wonders if it ever even happened before.
He couldn’t resist any longer and leaned in to kiss you. He was severely out of practice but he couldn’t think of anyone better to have his ‘’first’’ kiss with.
He started to panic when you didn’t kiss him back and started pulling away but you stopped him by kissing him back. He had forgotten all about kissing. He had forgotten how soft lips could be, how one simple touch like that could make him feel weak and strong all at once, how his heart would flutter and butterflies roamed free in his stomach. Most of all, he had forgotten how intoxicating it was to kiss someone you love and now that he remembers, he never wants to stop. When you broke apart, Bucky leaned back against his headboard to look at you and smiled his big goofy grin. The James Bucky Barnes grin. He couldn’t feel any pain now in his shoulder, he just didn’t know whether it was because of your cream or just you and the power you have over him.
‘’The only thing I’m sorry about is how rusty I am at kissing.’’ He said to let you know that this wasn’t just a spur of the moment kind of thing.
‘’Apparently, practicing helps a lot with those kinds of problems.’’
‘’You’re probably right.’’ He put down his book on his nightstand and then brought his hands to your waist to pull you closer. ‘’Think you can help me with that?’’
‘’Definitely.’’
You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck just as he kissed you again. One of your hands held onto the back of his neck while you ran your fingers through Bucky’s hair with the other.
Maybe Bucky should feel embarrassed about how one simple touch from you makes a big, strong super-soldier like himself melt so easily but he honestly didn’t care.
Bucky had spent decades trying to avoid people touching him at all costs, even as he slowly began to become the man he once was. Just the thought of having someone put their hands on him made his skin crawl. Yet here he was needing and craving your touch, he loved the way his skin felt on fire wherever you were touching him. It made him feel alive, human and no longer like the emotionless assassin he used to be.
He had spent so much time avoiding other people’s touch and now he’d be ready to do or give anything to make sure that it would never stop.
For the first time since he woke up after falling off the train Bucky isn’t afraid to give control to someone else. You were the one thing since 1943 that Bucky wasn’t afraid of, that he didn’t regret.
One simple touch is all it took to change everything.
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It's been so long since I've written anything for Bucky! Hopefully this is not too bad!
@n3ssm0nique | @lover-of-bucky | @beingagodsucks | @littlemissthistle | @dancer3205 | @thatblondebrownie | @rainbowkisses31 | @benbarnesbussy | @bucky-hues
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Text
Concussed | Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Hi, friends! I got this request on my ko-fi:
"Hello! I'm an absolute wh0re for hurt/comfort and wanted to request if you could pleeeeaase write reader really sick with a concussion + soft caretaker Buck?"
This is kinda perfect because I have a truly terrible headache right now 🥴
I wanna say THANK YOU to whoever sent this, I so so appreciate your support! 🥺
Send me any comments, requests, and/or suggestions you have!
Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @glxwingrxse @psychoticmason
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A relentless, high pitched ringing took up residence in your ears as you laid on the floor of the training facility. The cocky, over-eager SHIELD trainee who'd cracked you over the head with his heavy training firearm began sweating bullets at the sight of you on the ground, looking completely dazed. Bucky's heart stopped when his eyes fell upon you splayed out on the floor, and he dashed to your side faster than he'd ever moved before.
"Baby, hey, what happened?" Bucky asked, panic rising in his chest. He knew he was supposed to forego any couple-y behavior while at work, but right now, he didn't care-his baby was hurt. His large, metallic hand ran lightly over your hair and came back slick with blood. "I-I'm fine," you groaned, "just a little dizzy...and a fucking killer headache..." Bucky knew instantly that you had a concussion, and swept you up into his arms as gently as he could to take you to the med bay.
Bucky's face was set in a permanent frown as he stared down at the bleeding wound on your scalp, and he made a mental note to destroy the trainee who'd done this to you-but that would have to wait. As badly as he wanted to go full Winter Soldier on the guy, your well-being came first.
"Definitely a concussion," Dr. Cho confirmed after running a few diagnostic tests and assessing your symptoms. Your wound didn't require stitches, so you were in and out of your exam rather quickly- soothing a tiny portion of Bucky's worries. "You need rest in order to recover," Dr. Cho told you, "a lot of rest". She gave Bucky a stern look, "Watch her. Make sure she stays in bed,". Bucky nodded and helped you up, ready to escort you to your shared bedroom for some much needed rest.
"Woah, fuck-" you muttered as you stood upright and felt the room begin to spin. Bucky caught you before you even realized you were falling and scooped you into his arms once again. "Alright, let's get you to bed", he said with a little chuckle in an attempt to hide his concern. Your head rested against his shoulder and you listened to the gentle whirring sound that emanated from his vibranium arm. You hadn't realized how much that sound comforted you until now; it meant Bucky was close, and that was the ultimate comfort.
Gently, Bucky placed you on the bed and unlaced your combat boots, pulling them off carefully. He continued helping you out of your clothes from training before slipping one of his shirts over your head and getting you settled under the covers. "How are you feeling, doll?" he asked as he helped you unbraid your hair. You were silent for a moment, struggling to formulate an answer to such an easy question.
"Umm, I just- I just feel weird...like, out of it? Foggy? And my head feels...there's this pressure. It hurts," you eventually got out, "Actually, Buck, could you....tylenol?" He practically ran to the bathroom to get you some pain relief and a glass of water, happy to be able to help you in some way. You swallowed the pills and prayed they'd kick in quickly, closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to take away the pain.
After what seemed like an eternity, you still hadn't fallen asleep. You changed positions in an attempt to get comfortable, but doing so sent a wave of nausea crashing over you.
You scrambled out of your cozy cocoon and dashed to the bathroom, emptying the contents of your stomach into the toilet. Bucky ran after you and gently held your hair as you wretched, his heart breaking for you. When you finally finished, you sat back on your heels and took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself. Bucky's protective grasp wrapped around you and prevented you from tipping over for the second time that day.
"Just sit for a minute, sweets. Catch your breath," Bucky murmured as he stroked your back in gentle circles. He knew you were going to bounce back from this, but he couldn't stop himself from worrying. You were his sun, his moon, and all his stars, and whenever you were hurting, he hurt too. He wanted to fix this for you in any way he could, and knowing that there wasn't much he could do for you filled him with anxiety.
Your stomach lurched once again and you found yourself hunching over as your body forced everything out. The pressure in your head only got worse from the vomiting and there was seemingly no end to the dizziness. When you were finished heaving, you stood up on shaky legs. Bucky helped you, watching you like a hawk with every step you took toward the bed. "This fucking sucks..." you groaned quietly as you struggled to get comfortable under the covers.
"Hang on," Bucky whispered as he climbed out of bed and strode across the room. Swiftly, he pulled the heavy curtains closed and plunged the room into darkness, eliciting a grateful sigh from your lips.
"Ugh- thank you, Buck. You're a life saver," you murmured as you ket your eyes close. Bucky chuckled quietly and got back in bed, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "If there's anything you need, just tell me, baby", he whispered. Your eyes opened and found his, making a smile reflexively appear on your lips. "Could you just hold me for a while?" you asked, "I feel like shit, and I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that's gonna help..."
Wordlessly, he molded his body around yours, letting you nuzzle into his arms. He smiled down at you as a contented sigh fell from your lips and you finally drifted off to sleep. He knew there wasn’t much he could do for you in regards to the concussion, but he could bring you comfort- and that’s what he was going to do. He would hold you until end of time, if you let him.
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ramp-it-up · a day ago
Note
What about that damn Bucky Barnes? Him taking you in a tour of Brooklyn and somehow smut? 😜
Brooklyn Holiday
Sorry it took me so long to get to this!
This gif below is perfect! Props to the creator!
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This is my first Christmas drabble of the season!
Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word count- Right at 1K
Warnings: 18+ Only! Minors DNI. Smut. Anxiety, Allusions to bad memories, holidays in Brooklyn, snow, cold weather, dirty talk, alley sex, good girl kink, breath play, choking, breeding kink. Wrote this in my phone. Not Beta’d.
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
NOTICE: I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
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You were walking hand in hand with Bucky in Brooklyn, at Christmas time, him seemingly as lost as you were. He’d just gotten a chance to really explore his former stomping grounds and he wanted you to come with him.
The decorations and Holiday cheer in this neighborhood were so charming and you were enjoying this waking date, happy just to be with Bucky until you looked up at his profile.
“What’s wrong, James?”
His eyes flicked down at you and he gave you a smile that didn’t reach them. Bucky couldn’t tell if his mind was playing tricks on him again.
“Damn. Most of the places I knew are gone, or… coffee shops?”
He pointed to what used to be a movie theater but was now a Starbucks. His brow was furrowed and his lips pursed as he grew more and more tense. You clutched his hand tighter to try and comfort him, but it was his metal arm and he didn’t register it.
You stopped and lifted it to your face, making him come back to you in the present.
Then he really smiled, and leaned down to kiss you, the wind swirling the snow on the ground up and around you, making you feel as if you were in a snow globe.
You shivered a bit. “You cold, Doll?”
You just smiled at him and he knew why you were shivering. He traced your lips with his now slightly heated metal thumb. You opened them and lightly traced it with your tongue.
It was Bucky’s turn to shiver at the light sheen of frost that followed your mouth on his hand.
The street was crowded but he growled lowly at you, making you wetter than you were a second before.
“You’re killing me Doll. I’m an old man.”
Your smile turned mischievous.
“Well. I can still feel how an old man wrecked my pussy this morning”
Bucky’s blue eyes darkened and he licked his lips as he looked over your head. He pulled you across the street, making you jay walk in front of the coffee shop to the alley beside it.
There was a little nook that he pulled you into deep in the alley. You were shielded from the wind and the eyes of people passing, and you were incredibly warm as you leaned up against Bucky.
He leaned against the wall and kissed you, hot tongue wreaking havoc on your brain. Your arms and legs were wrapped around him in his coat, his warmth spreading all around your body.
“Fucking love you Doll. Love how you bring me back to earth. Need you. Need to be buried in you right now. Feel this.”
Bucky pulled your gloved hand to his pants, so that you could feel his hard cock. Sometimes you wondered if it was made of vibranium too. You looked up at him in wonder.
“Old man, huh?”
You looked so angelic and like such a vixen at the same time. Made him pulse under your touch and three layers of clothing.
“Yeah.” His voice was gravelly and sexy as hell.
”Need that pussy. Right now.”
He cocked his head as if he was really asking a question.
“Will you be my good little girl and give it to me?”
He was already unbuttoning his pants and pulling it out. Jacking it in front of you, making the pink head disappear and reappear in his metal hand. You were mesmerized, mouth open, nodding yes. You looked up at him.
“Fuck, I would have that mouth too but it’s too cold for you to get your on your knees out here.”
His words were making you wetter, and your nipples hard as fuck.
“Want your mouth too, James.”
Bucky growled as he bent down to reach under your corduroy skirt to tear your tights and panties.
“I’ll eat you out all night long, Doll. Right now I just need—“
He’d turned you around and held you against the wall as he bent his knees and held his dick straight against your entrance.
When he felt you dripping around him, he kissed you.
“Knew you were a good girl for me,” and he thrust up inside you, clapping his hand over your mouth quickly to mute your scream. You could feel his dick throbbing inside you.
Bucky stilled because he was about to cum the minute he entered you. He pressed his forehead against yours as you quieted to whimpers.
You felt a combination of the ache from this morning, the incredible stretch of Bucky’s cock, and the intense pleasure and thrill of being fucked in an alley by the man you loved.
Bucky moved his hand to your throat and you managed to get out, “Oh god that feels so good,” before he squeezed with just the right pressure and started stroking something heavenly and terrible up inside you.
“Oh. Shit… Doll. Fuck. This pussy is so fucking good. Who’s is it? Hunh?”
Bucky knew good and damn well that you couldn’t speak, you just rolled your eyes in the back of your head and leaned back against the cold brick wall, the sensation adding to all the feelings.
He pumped harder, stamping his foot to get his point across. And his dick deeper inside you.
“I asked. Who’s pussy is this? Cause I’m about to cum inside it…. FFFFFUCKKKKK!!!”
Bucky’s whisper was urgent and he let go in time for you to rasp out, “It’s yours, James!” right before you came, clenching all around him.
Bucky pumped his hips a few more times and you could feel his steaming hot cum spurt up inside you. Felt so good.
You buried your head in his neck as Bucky leaned into you against the wall.
“Your love makes me Dizzy, Doll,” Bucky chuckled into your ear as you smiled. He kissed it and gradually let you down, hands on your arms to steady you.
He let you go when he was sure you were okay and fixed his pants. You straightened your skirt and patted your hair.
Bucky fixed your scarf around your throat, hiding the marks he just made.
“You’re perfect.”
You beamed up at him.
“Except for the part where I have super soldier cum dripping down my legs.”
Bucky’s eyes darkened again.
“That makes you even more perfect.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“That’s how it should be 24/7. Now let’s continue this tour before I fuck you against the wall again.”
You shivered as he pulled you out of the alley. And it wasn’t from the cold.
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summerofsnowflakes · a day ago
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Wicked Games IV
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Paring: Bucky Barnes x Fem Reader (Avenger) 
Word Count: 5K
Summary: You need to give him up, but it’s just too good.
Warnings: This series is 18+, MDI. Smut, Unprotected Sex, Spanking, Cursing, Dirty Talk, Cheating, Heartbreak, Angst  
A/N: So here is part four!! I’m really happy with where this part went and I really do think this gives us all a lot of answers. I do have a rough plan for the final part but I’ve not started working on it yet. I’d be really interested to see how you guys want this series to end, so let me know!!
Dividers by the fantastic @firefly-graphics
Previous Part | Masterlist 
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Bucky’s eyes flickered from you to Steve and back again, scratching like a broken record. He shook his head, breaking the cycle.
His eyes trailed down from your face, along the red spaghetti strap and along the curve of your body. His stare hardened when saw your fingers intertwined with Steve’s.
To see his best friend cozied up with you, was truly the last thing he’d expected to see tonight.
You wanted to shrink into the fabric wall. Your stomach twisted in anguish as you met his cold gaze, his jaw was tight enough to cut glass. It was a whirlwind of emotions, anxiety, guilt, anger, hurt. It made your head spin.
“Hi, you too!” She chirped happily, pulling Bucky’s densely heavy body into the elevator. His girlfriend’s voice was a bucket of ice cold water being poured down your back. You mustered up a quiet hello as your eyes focused on the fibres of the carpeted floor.
Steve sensed the tension in the air and took the lead on the conversation. “How are you both this fine evening?” His words dived deep into bleeding wounds.
As though she hadn’t spoken to anyone in months, his girlfriend flew into a conversation with Steve. Whilst Bucky only grunted in response, his eyes burning a hole in yours and Steve’s hands. Silently he hoped he could draw your hands apart if he stared hard enough.
Their voices drowned into a white noise around you as you tuned into the harsh thud of your heart in your chest. Steve’s hold on your hand was the only thing keeping you grounded physically as you plummeted down further into the ground.  
Though mentally, you were free falling, spiralling out of control. Drawing in the memories of your clandestine affair.
You chanced a look at him but he was already staring back at you with a vague expression. A hundred and one things flitted through his mind, words dancing on the tip of his tongue that remained unspoken because of the setting. It was too difficult to look at him, so you just looked away.  
It broke your heart that you weren’t prepared for this moment. That seeing him made you feel so conflicted, you wanted to hate him but you couldn’t.
Steve squeezed your hand, breathing life back into your gormless figure. “Huh?” You muttered surveying the three of them, your own voice didn’t sound as though it belonged to you.
“You look a little unwell, is everything okay?” Bucky’s girlfriend asked earnestly.
You nodded somewhat frantically, “yeah, just not a fan of elevator’s when they are full of people.” You could feel Bucky’s presence re-enter the room, could practically feel his smirk radiating off his lips.
“Yeah if I remember correctly I had to come up with some pretty good distraction techniques for you.” He mocked.
You met his challenging gaze with wide unforgiving eyes. It felt truly despicable to  dangle the truth in front of her so blatantly. Pure toture if she wasn’t completely ignorant.
The elevator dinged before the conversation could go any further and you were unbelievably grateful to swap the stuffy elevator for a stufier ballroom.
A sea of faces, familiar and not greeted you, pulling you away from the shore into the depths of the tenth circle of hell.
Upper crust society. You allowed Steve to lead you around the room as you said hello to people of great importance that you barely knew the names of.
You were granted a moment of relief when you reached your teammates, exchanging hugs and pleasantries as if you hadn’t cooked dinner with them two hours ago. But it didn’t last long as you were closely followed by the happy couple, strolling merrily hand in hand.
You’d been at this party for less than five minutes and it felt like it had been hours. You wouldn’t be able to survive the night at this rate, especially when the dancing started.
You surveyed the room, sighing in relief and your eyes landed on the bar. Bucky’s eyes were on you again, that same distant look plagued him again. Your resolve hardened, not sparing him a second glance and turning your attention to Steve, who was already smiling at you.
The calm of his smile was enough to ease you back to shore. It was nice to have a friend. You reached up onto your tiptoes so you were somewhat closer to his height.
“I’m going to the bar, can I get you anything?” You uttered in a hushed tone, your lips ghosting delicately over the shell of his ear. Heat immediately radiated from his pink cheeks, you had broken down the physical barrier even further.
“I’ll have a Scotch on the rocks.” He responded, you were almost certain you could feel the increased tempo of his heart as your fingertips ran over the silky fabric of his suit jacket.
“With a twist?” You smiled.
“Hold the twist.” He replied too quickly, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. “Would rather save the twist for when we dance later tonight.” He muttered, looking down into your eyes hopefully.
You smiled sincerely for the first time this evening, your head dropping forward towards his broad chest. “Okay Captain, I look forward to it.” You replied, slipping from his grasp and ignoring Bucky’s unnerving stare.
You missed the way Bucky’s girlfriend cuddled into his side, “that could be really cute.” She mentioned, nodding her head at Steve who was fighting an immeasurable grin.
Her words were like a thousand daggers piercing Bucky’s heart from every angle. Fury filled his body, Steve couldn’t give you what you wanted out of life. You and Steve together, it was repulsive, the mere image of his hands touching your body in the same ways that he had was enough to drive him crazy.
He knew he had no right to be so angry, to feel so possessive over you. But oh how he missed you, your touch, your smile, your laugh. It was addictive. He missed seeing you almost every day, he longed to share intimate moments with you that no one else noticed.
After he left you that night he’d taken the remainder of Asgardian ale stored in his room and wandered the streets all night.
Lost, alone and completely broken, he didn’t have anywhere left to go; he’d always felt displaced in New York city, since he’d been given his memories back, but it was never as startlingly obvious to him until that night.
His feet went into autopilot as all coherent thoughts he could muster were of you. His cowardice had shattered both your hearts in one failed swoop, he didn’t deserve you.
It was only as he reached the otherside of the Brooklynn bridge that he realised he was going home. His real home. Day broke over the Hudson river, streaks of orange and pink bled through the night’s sky.
He walked the streets he and Steve grew up on, watching as the memories of two happy carefree boys unfolded before him.  Everything seemed brighter under the fog of nostalgia, it was easy to forget that the buildings had been torn down and rebuilt into million dollar apartments. Everything had been torn to shreds and replaced with shiny new things.
The warmth of the early morning sunrise paid him no mind. Bucky was cold, loneliness was the coldest feeling, he wanted nothing more than to walk these streets with you and show you his life before the war.
But that wasn’t going to happen, not now or ever. He’d ruined everything.
He hated himself for returning back to his apartment, but the thought of breaking that poor girl's heart after puncturing his own and yours, was just too much to handle.
He didn’t want to be with her, but he really didn’t want to be alone.
So he stayed and he’d thrown everything back into their relationship. He tried to love her the way she deserved, the way she loved him. Even if it felt wrong deep down, with each day you took up less space in his mind and he could at least pretend.  
He’d been doing alright until tonight. Stumbling upon an intimate moment between you and his best friend was his worst nightmare come true. It didn’t matter how ‘cute’ it would be, he couldn’t let it happen.  
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Bucky was an inescapable presence throughout the night. Everywhere you turned there he was; his name seeped into every conversation, his towering frame standing uncomfortably close to you, his eyes watching you and he whisked her round the dance floor.
It was suffocating.
You were past counting how many drinks you’d had, but alcohol was the only thing getting you through the night. You swayed from side to side, your head resting comfortably against Steve’s chest. The dulcet tones of the piano lulled your intoxicated body into tranquility.
It was nice to be held, to have someone to hold onto and not be forced into darkness like a dirty little secret. No shame to weigh you down.
You raised your head from Steve’s chest, peering up at his chiselled features. Something new bubbled up inside of you, a feeling stirred that you couldn’t quite describe.
You lifted your head from his chest, looking up at Steve’s chiselled features. Something bubbled nervously in your stomach, a feeling stirred in you that you couldn’t describe.
Steve felt your eyes on him and smiled,  “something on my face?”
You chuckled quietly, “thank you for tonight.”
He was quiet for a moment, before deciding on his words. “It’s nothing, just nice to see a real smile on your face.”
A comfortable silence settled over you both once again, but curiosity took the driver’s seat in Steve’s mind. He’d been patient, tried to remain neutral and hoped you or Bucky would open up. But his feelings for you were becoming too obvious to ignore. He needed to know the truth before he told you how he felt.
“Sweetheart, what happened with Bucky?” He asked.  
Your body went rigid in his arms, all the walls he’d broken down this evening flew back up, only now they were ten times taller. “Nothing, Steve.”
“I think we both know that’s not true.” He continued, his mind willing him to stop, but his mouth had other ideas. “He’s been watching you all night, and he keeps staring at me like he wants to drown me in Tony’s Koi pond.” He chuckled nervously.
“There’s more to this than you’re letting on.”  He continued, “Let me in so that I can help.”
“I don’t need your help.” You grumbled, pushing your body away from his. Tears welled up in your eyes as the room got smaller and smaller; the air becoming more suffocating. “I’ve never asked you to fix me or the situation Steve. What I have asked is for you to leave it alone.”
“But I—“
“I’m going to get some air, please don’t follow me.” You stormed off, away from Steve and the party.
Of course being thirty levels below sea level meant there wasn’t anywhere to go and get some air, but being away from that ballroom would suffice.
You took deep uneven breaths as you wandered the corridor of the sub-level floor. Your heels tapped steadily against the marble floor, unlike the uneven thudding of your heartbeat.
You walked past a few labs labelled with new names you’d never heard before. Then you came to the one that still has Bruce’s names engraved and smiled to yourself.
Walking into the room was like stepping into a time capsule. Everything was exactly as he’d left it a few years ago. Bruce has been off the grid, he took some time for himself after a code-green incident in San Francisco.
He’d been your first friend when you’d joined the team. He never asked anything of you or you of him. You liked sitting silently in his lab whilst he tinkered with tech and other experiments. You missed him greatly.
The evidence of his absence crystal clear as you ran your fingers along the dust covered countertop. Your digits searched for the little green button along the back wall of the room and pressed it.
The underground shutters came to life, a window appearing before your eyes.  Spotlights illuminated the dull aquatic scene outside. Fish and trash floated in the murky green water, past the window.
The lab door clicked open behind you, you assumed it was Steve but you remained facing forward. Instead you enjoyed the tranquil swooshing sound of water whipping against the window.
“Stevie is looking lost without you by his side.” Bucky stated as he came up beside you. “So, when did you start sleeping with my best friend?”
You scoffed at his unbelievable arrogance, your mouth parted in utter shock. “You’re unbelievable. I’m not sleeping with him.”
“But you came with him tonight?” He reasoned doubtfully, his eyes flitted over your figure wantingly.
You turned to face him, rage biting at your fingertips. You pointed your finger at him, pushing against his chest angrily. “Not that it’s any of your concern, but I didn’t come with him.”
He smirked down at you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “He seems to think otherwise.”
“What are you doing here Bucky?” You hollered. You pushed his chest again to try and create some distance between your bodies, but he only seemed to get closer. “What do you want from me?”
“I just came to check on you.” His face relaxed, all signs of riling you up disappeared. “You seemed upset when you left.”
You couldn’t hold back the humourless laugh that erupted from your lips, “you came to check if I was alright, by accusing me of sleeping with your best friend. When you showed up tonight and paraded your girlfriend around the party.”
“Baby …” He reached out, his warm fingertips wrapping around your wrist as you walked away.
You stopped in your tracks, muttering brokenly, “don’t you dare call me that.”
You watched as his fingers slid down your wrist, intertwining your fingers. Your breath caught in your throat, goosebumps awoke along your bare skin.
You looked up at him, taking in his features up close and personal for the first time in months. He’d cleaned his beard up, his stubble barely there. His cerulean eyes were tinted with fatigue, he wasn’t sleeping again.
“Sorry, slip of the tongue,” He whispered hoarsely. You stared into his eyes, allowing them to reel you back in. There was undeniable weight to his apology, it was more than an error of words.
Spellbound by the ebb and flow of his oceanic orbs, you uttered, “I should probably get back to the party.” But you remained firmly planted in your place.
“Yeah I’m sure Steve is missing you.”
The spell was broken. You pushed past him angrily, stalking towards the door. As you reached the door, the fury bubbled over inside of you. You whipped back around, “you’re unbelievable, you know that.”
The volume of your voice startled Bucky, he knew he deserved it. Your chest heaved raggedly as you lent against the island countertop for support. “If it really kills you to see me with Steve, then you should have done something about it before it was too late.”
Bucky closed the distance between you until he towered over your smaller frame. You tried to back away from him but you’d trapped yourself against the table.  
“Is it?” He muttered. “Too late for us?”
You stopped breathing completely as you peered up at him, completely lost for words. He was so close that the scent of his oaky aftershave flooded your senses, it was familiar, like home.
His hand snaked around your waist, the cold vibranium of his other hand trailed up over your bare arm. His fingers slid over the strap of your dress, pushing it off your shoulder.
His eyes never left your face, he waited for you to stop him. But you were frozen in the moment, revelling in the feeling of his touch.
Your addiction was being fed.
His fingers feathered over the base of your neck, placing his index finger under your chin. He tipped your head upwards, your lips were millimeters from his, his hot breath fanned over your lips.
“Tell me to stop.” He pleaded, “If you don’t I won’t be able to hold myself back baby.”
Your head reeled at his words, lust filled fog drowned out the voice saying to stop. Your heart cried louder begging to let you enjoy the moment. Your heart beat out of your chest and finally you tilted your head, grazing your lips against his.  
“Don’t stop.” You whined needily. It was the greenlight you were both waiting for and Bucky crashed his lips into yours.
You melted into him as your mouths moved in sync with one another. He pulled away for a second, you chased his lips but he wasn’t going anywhere. He pulled your lip between his teeth and tugged, opening your mouth wide enough for him to slip his tongue into your mouth.
It was the most alive you’d felt in months.
You breathed harshly as his mouth left yours, kissing and kitten licking along your jawline and down your neck. Your hands found his shoulders and pushed off his black suit jacket, his white shirt strained against his brawny chest.  
He wrapped his hand around your thigh, pulling up to wrap it around his waist. Your silky red dress bunched up exposing more of your thighs. The top of your dress sagged off your shoulders, your breasts threatened to fall from their loose red cage.  
You were almost completely exposed to him and he was making you feel so wanted, so needed. His plump lips and strong hands worshipped your body. “You’re so fucking gorgeous baby.” He mumbled against your neck.
His fingers slipping into your panties, ghosting over your clit. “Bucky, please!” You whimpered into the ecchoing room, your head thrown back in ecstasy. You weren’t sure what you were begging for but you just needed him.
“Take what you want baby. I’m still yours.” He growled against your burning skin.
You unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his beefy frame. He shuddered as you ran your hands down his torso. You unbuckled his belt, fervently pulling his hard member from his boxers and rubbing your hand up and down his length. He moaned needily at your touch, his head falling into the crook of your neck.
“Enough teasing, I need you now.” He growled as he turned your body away from him. He pulled your dress up, revealing your plump ass, admiring how good it looked. His cool vibranium hand collided with your bare cheek and he watched it jiggle.
He ran his achingling hard length along your slit, collecting your juices. You moaned breathlessly as the head of his cock nudged against your clit.
“Please, please, please.” You pleaded with him, arching your back against his chest as he teased your entrance. He slipped his tip into your sopping cunt, easing himself in and stretching your tight pussy out inch by inch. The stretch was delicious, you pushed yourself back, sheathing his rod inside of you until he bottomed out.
“Fuck baby, how do you feel so good.” He grunted, his head resting against your shoulder as he allowed you to get accustomed to his length.
“Buck, please… Please move.” You stuttered and he chuckled huskily in your ear.
It was all the permission he needed, he pulled and thrusted back deep inside of you. You moaned loudly as he filled you up again. Each stroke of his hips brought you a little bit closer to complete bliss.
“That’s it baby, you’re taking me so well.” He moaned as you clenched around him.  
His hand wrapped around the back of your neck and pushed your body forwards, pressing you against the cool countertop as he drilled into you.
You mewled underneath him, the new angle of your body allowed for him to hit deeper inside of you, his cock brushing against your g-spot. His fingers reached around your body, finding your clit and rubbing a figure of eight into your bundle of nerves.
“Oh fuck, Bucky!” You cried as he pushed you over the edge of complete glory, stars erupted from behind your eyes.  Your tight hole clenched harshly around his dick, milking him dry as he fucked into you feriously releasing his hot seed deep inside of you.
Slowly he stilled his movements, the only sound filling the room was your heavy breathing as you both came down from your highs.
The door to the lab flew open, “Sweetheart I know you said not to follow but- “ Steve stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes landed on the two of you tangled together.
“Oh shit.” Bucky cursed as his eyes landed on his best friend. He pulled himself out of you, turning away from both of you as he stuffed himself back in his pants.  
You fixed your position, covering your exposed cleavage and yanking your dress back down. Your eyes never left Steve’s as he pieced the whole story together. Guilt bled from your eyes, horror from his.
“Steve I-” You started, but the words died bitterly on your tongue. You had no idea what to say to him, but there was no going back now. He’d seen you together with his own eyes, there was no mistaking it for something else.
Bucky returned to your side to face the music alongside you, but still no one spoke. Hidden by the large island, he slipped his hand into yours and squeezed it reassuringly.
Steve remained unmoved. Frozen in time.
And then he snapped back into reality, his spine straightened uncomfortably and he cleared his throat. “Buck, I think your girlfriend is looking for you.” He spat, coldly.
Bucky looked between you and Steve, waiting for you to stop him from leaving but you weren’t ready to face him. You stared at the wall above Steve’s head, tears rolled down your cheeks.
When you didn’t so much as send him a glance, he took it as his cue to leave. He nodded, a defeated sigh slipping from his lips and he dropped your hand, walking away. As Bucky crossed Steve’s path he muttered, “you might want to wipe the red lipstick from your lips.”
The door slammed shut, startling you and forcing you to meet Steve’s gaze again. Your breathing stopped upon seeing the disappointment in his eyes. You scrambled around the table, nearing him.
“Steve, I can explain.” You cried quietly. Steve held his hand up mid-air, stopping your movement, keeping a safe distance between you both.  
“We can discuss this tomorrow.” He murmured before rushing out of the door, leaving you completely alone.
The emotions of the night overcame you, you were broken and alone once again. The dam broke and you cried and cried, you ran for the elevator.
You had to get away, everything was too messy and too painful. You had to leave. Through tear stained eyes you made your way to your room, frantically grabbing a few bags from under the bed.
The bags were pre packed, you were always ready for a quick getaway, but you still needed a few essentials. You threw the last of your things into a bag clumsily when you heard the familiar purr of a certain snowy cat.
Alpine nuzzled his head against your bare leg, he purred sweetly as he stalked through the gap between your legs. You picked him up, sitting him on your lap as you sat on your bed.
You released a deflated sigh, ‘I’m sorry buddy, but there’s no room for you to come with me on this trip.” You weeped dejectedly, running your fingers along his back. “I promise I’ll come back for you and in the meantime the team will take care of you.  
You set him on the bed as he meowed loudly at you. “Bye my sweet little Alpine.” You muttered, shutting the door on your room and your life here as an Avenger. You weren't sure where you were going, but you were used to a life on the run.
You made your way to the loading dock, with each step a new part of your plan formed. Tony would have to catch you if he wanted to kill you for borrowing a quinjet.
“Headed someplace nice Buttercup?” Sam’s voice echoed through the bare walls of the bay. Your heart stopped at the sound of his voice, this was not part of the plan.  
“Just going on a little vacation, Sam.” You sniffled quietly, turning to face him. You hoped he wouldn’t notice the red tint in your eyes and your ruined makeup.
He remained silent as he crossed the room and pulled your trembling body into a bone crushing hug. You broke in his arms all over again and he allowed you to cry in the safety of his arms.
“You wanna try and give me a better answer.”
“I have no idea where I’m going, I just need to get away from here.” You cried into his shoulder, your breathing becoming more steady with each second.
“Yeah, saw Bucky and Steve come back to the party, both looking disheveled and like they were ready to kill one another.” He commented concernedly, your head spun at the mention of both of their names. “And when you didn’t come back, I got worried about my partner.”
“Thank you.” You smiled.
“C’mon I’ll get you out of here and take you somewhere you can regroup safely.” He said, pulling you in the direction of the quinjet. You weren’t thrilled by the prospect of Sam coming with you but at least it gave you a moment to relax.  “There’s one condition to me taking you though, you gotta tell me everything.  Okay?”
“Okay.”
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When Bucky returned to ballroom and found her waiting for him, he was certain that the whole room knew the truth. Your smell lingered on his clothes, your supple lips stained on his skin. The air was stifling and every movement he made he could feel Steve watching him, judging him.
He knew he’d ruined any chance between you and Steve and honestly it felt awful. He never wanted to see you together, but ruining your friendship wasn’t part of the plan. He could take Steve hating him, but not you, that wasn’t fair.
From across the room Tony staggered onto a tabletop, gathering the crowd around him. He couldn’t stand it any longer, no one would notice if he went after you.
And he had to go after you, he wasn’t going to let you slip through his fingers again. He moved between the crowds of people, weaving through the maze, he didn’t notice his girlfriend following behind him.
His eyes widened in horror as she jumped into the elevator after him. He was a shell of himself, his only focus was getting to you even as she desperately tried to break him away from his own mind.
Her hands latched onto the lapels of his suit jacket and tugged harshly, “Bucky, please…” She pleaded, but all he heard was your voice, moaning underneath his not even thirty minutes prior.
As the doors to the elevator opened he barged past her, storming towards your door and banged harshly against it. He called your name, pleaded for you to let him back in.
It was too much, the harsh sound of his fist hitting the door, the crack in voice and he cried for you, her voice pleading for Bucky to come back to his senses. He simply couldn’t take it anymore.
He burst through the door, his heart shattered in his chest when he saw it had been completely ransacked. All traces of you were still there but he knew you were gone.  
“Bucky, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
He ignored her questions, scanning the room for a sign of what you’d gone. One of his red henley shirts was strewn over your nightstand, it covered a photo of you with the whole team.
Fuck, I’m too late!” He roared, dropping to his knees, he couldn’t hold it in. He’d been so stupid and now he’d lost you for good.
Her dainty hand rested on his shoulder but Bucky flinched under her touch. He recollected himself, slowly standing to face her. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s o-”
“No it’s not. Nothing about this is okay and I can’t do it anymore.” He affirmed. “I need to let you go, this has to end.”
“What? I don’t understand.” Her soft, angelic face worked through the emotions. She was completely stunned, hearing those words come out of his mouth, she really was oblivious to it all.  
“I’m sorry but this is over.” He looked down at the floor, guilt and shame bit at him. “I need you to leave.”
Tears glistened in her eyes as she covered her mouth, muffling the pained whimper that escaped her lips. None of it made sense, she was trying to piece together a puzzle with only half the parts. Without another word she ran from the room, loud sobs slipped from her mouth.
Something akin to relief filled Bucky’s body and he collapsed onto your bed. A new storm brewed inside him, sadness and ease tore through his body as the scent of your fresh sheets consoled him.
“I’m so sorry…” He whispered into the dead air of your bedroom. The bed dipped beside his head and a soft purr erupted from beside him.
His eyes fluttered open, met by a sea of white fur. A white cat pawed at his shoulder pad, staring at Bucky with a curious look. They started
They glared at one another until the cat finally decided Bucky posed no threat. He plopped himself down in the crook of his neck, his head resting on Bucky’s shoulder.
A soft snore rumbled through the cat’s body, reverberating against Bucky’s skin and soothing him. Bucky fought to stay away in case you returned but he was exhausted. He was carried off to sleep comforted by the white fur ball and the soft smell of cherries.
Tags: @ramp-it-up @delaber @elemenohpe @theselilwonders @ryjo-92 @lonelydance @nikole-witha-k @tumblin-theworldaway @harrysthiccthighss @beminetokeep @leyannrae @lovely-geek @rivers-rambles21 @vicmc624 @wintersplum17 @sydneylaufeyson22 @call-me-doll-face @spaaceprincessss @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @c1nnam0n-g4rl @anth0ny-stark @itsdawnashlie @mkirk12776 @scxrletrecsmarvel
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sebystann · 20 hours ago
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Loss
Description: Not even six months later you run into Bucky at the local hospital. But things aren’t what they seem and life isn’t always meant to be full of happy moments.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Loss- Angst- Miscarriage-Still Birth
Word Count: 1.2k
Note: Not my favorite piece! But I've rewrote this so many times already!
If you haven't read the first two part check out the masterlist -> here <-
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The doors of the hospital elevator slowly opened to the fourth floor.
“Labor & Delivery “ You mumbled, looking up at the sign. Taking a step down the long hall, you search for the waiting room. You try to prepare yourself. The way Bucky had sounded over the phone, his voice cracking up while he tried to speak to you. You knew something terrible had happened.
“I need you Y/n.”
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
He sat, slouched over, head buried in the palms of his hands. “Buck.” You spoke lightly, approaching him.
The moment his eyes meet yours, he breaks. Tears trickle down his flushed cheeks. His bottom lip trembled as he tried to speak.
“She- She didn’t make it,” He sobbed, covering his mouth. “The baby didn’t make it Y/n”
You rush forward, dropping to your knees gripping his shoulders in your hands. You duck your head to look at him. His eyes were puffy, bloodshot from crying.
“Oh, buck.” You whispered, pulling him into your arms. You run your fingers through his messy hair. Kissing his wet cheeks, you whisper, “Everything is going to be okay,” You sigh, “I’m here.”
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You hand Bucky a warm cup of coffee, Two teaspoons of sugar, and three pumps of creamer. The way he liked it. “You remembered.” He cracked a small smile up at you.
“Of course.”
Taking your coffee, you sat beside in front of him with a sigh. This was not the way you wanted to see him again. Not in this situation.
“I was not going to answer your call.” You swirl the coffee around in your cup, looking up at Bucky. He squints his eyes at you, shaking his head. “I would have understood if you didn’t.” He takes a gulp of his coffee, enjoying the warmth it provided for the moment.
“You never responded to my messages. I saw you had read them.” You groan, “Shit, I shouldn’t be talking about this right now. I’m being selfish.” You sit the cup of coffee down. Guilt eating at you. This was not the time to bring up bitter feelings.
Sighing, he nods, looking towards the doorway of the waiting room as a man with a tearful smile rushes in.
“He’s here! Mama, you should have seen- “Bucky tries ignoring the man’s voice. Bucky felt bitter and wrong. He should be happy for the guy, but he wasn’t. Bucky felt like the universe was throwing this guy’s happiness in his face. He just wanted to punch that shit-eating grin off his smug face.
“I gotta get out of here.” He mutters, lifting himself from the chair he was sitting in.
“Waiting Buck.” You rush after him. He’s stomping down the corridor of the hospital towards the elevators. He jabs at the down button.
“Fuck, can’t this thing go any faster.” He groans, running his hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath, trying to ease the burning sensation in his lungs. But it felt like something or someone was closing their grip around his throat.
Once the doors of the elevators open the both of you rush in. Turning towards Bucky, you watch as he slowly breaks down. His breathing became frantic. He grips the rail on the wall of the elevator to hold himself up.
“Bucky, just breath.” You gently set your hand on his shoulder.
He jerks away from you, narrowing his eyes, “What makes that guy any better than me? Why does his baby get to live?” He sobs uncontrollably. “Why does the universe hate me?”
Taking his hand in yours, you pull him in, embracing him, “Buck, I promise you that when the time is right, you will be a father. You will have a beautiful healthy baby.”
“But why couldn’t she be my beautiful healthy baby Y/n? What did we do wrong?”
Taking a deep breath, “You two did nothing wrong Bucky.” You whispered, kissing his cheek lightly.
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“Thanks for coming.” Bucky pulls you into a tight hug. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”
Smiling, “No, don’t be sorry Buck. You need a shoulder, and I wanted to be here for you.” Your voice trails off as you pull out your ring phone to glance at the caller ID.
‘Marty <3 <3’
“Marty?” Bucky quirked an eyebrow, looking up at you questioningly.
“He’s just a guy I’ve been seeing.” You sigh, ignoring the call. You stuff the phone back into your pocket. “But you better get back to your wife. She needs you. Trust me, she might say otherwise at the moment, but you need to be there for her.” You smile, squeezing his shoulder.
“I know. And I’ll do my best.” He looks into your eyes. “Really thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me Y/n. Be safe, keep in touch.”
“Only if you promise to.” You chuckle playfully, punching his arm. You try to avoid his beautiful blue orbs. And the way his look was making your heartbeat out of your chest. “I’ll see you around Buck.” You lightly kiss his cheek before heading down the hall of the hospital.
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“Where have you been?” Marty asked, glancing away from the tv.
“I was with Wanda.” You mumble, putting your bag down at the dining table.
He chuckles darkly, “That’s funny because I called Wanda and she said you weren’t there.” He gets up and takes a few steps towards you. “Why are you lying to me Y/n?” He steps in front of you. “Were you with another man?” He asked, taking your chin in his hand roughly. “Hmm?” He squeezed.
“No-No Marty I wasn’t” you stuttered trying to pull away from his harsh grip.
“Better not be lying to me, princess.” He frowns, pushing harshly at your chin, dropping his hold. He takes a step back, turning to walk back towards the couch. “Dinners in the fridge. I fixed steak and potatoes.” He points over his shoulders, acting as if nothing had ever even happened.
Your eyes burned, tears threatened to spill over. But you wouldn’t let them. No, you wouldn’t let him see you break. “Okay thank you.”
“Love you, baby.” He smiles over his shoulder.
“Love you too.” You force a smile.
How can you love someone and it be so easy to hurt them? How?
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narcissisticmf · 19 hours ago
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i love you | bucky barnes x fem!reader
description: while y/n is in a coma, bucky reveals his feelings to her.
trigger warnings: mentions of trauma, mentions of anxiety, angst, depictions of minor injuries, etc. read at your own risk.
word count: 1.4k
With your back laid against the small cot inside the Avengers Compound infirmary, your eyelids closed over the warm color of your irises. Your bruised palms rested against the mattress down at your sides. Your body ached, but you couldn't move or do anything to physically ease that pain. Along the sides of your face were scars, dried blood and several bruises that stung your sensitive skin. Your chest rose and fell in response to your breath. You eased into the mattress, unable to wake for your body was paralyzed but your mind was wide awake.
Weeks had passed as you laid in the same position with several patches attached to your arms and chest. Dr. Cho did all she could to assist you in getting better, but there was only so much she could do medically. Time would be the only thing of which would awaken you.
Bucky sat in the kitchen of the Compound and fiddled with his spoon as it sat within a bowl of soggy cereal. His long hair matted against his sweaty forehead. He hadn't gotten much sleep, the bags beneath his eyes revealed that.
"You okay, Buck?" Steve walked into the kitchen through the living room. His pupils dilated as he watched Bucky sit with grief and anxiety flooding through his veins.
"I could've done something, Steve. She's in that room, practically lifeless because I did nothing to stop it," Bucky avoided eye contact with his best friend and looked down at his bowl, watching as the Cheerios expanded and lost their crunchy texture due to the milk.
"But that's just it, there wasn't anything you could've done," Steve walked closer to the table and sat upon one of the chairs that surrounded the large table.
"I could've taken the blow, it should be me in there, not her," Bucky's eyes grew teary as the words got caught in his throat. His tone was shaky.
"Well, if it was you in there, she'd be having the same conversation with me right now, I can tell you that," Steve kept his gaze on Bucky, but his dark haired best friend continued to look down.
"I never even got to tell her I love her," Bucky whispered through his shaky voice, his eyes slipped with hot tears that stained his rosy cheeks.
Steve pressed his lips together, his dimples caved in as he did so. "So go tell her, Buck, she's right in there," His voice softened.
Bucky released a gentle breath and finally looked up to Steve. The two locked eyes for a moment, silence overtook the entire kitchen. Without saying anything more, Bucky stood from his chair and left his cereal upon the table. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he walked down the halls of the Compound towards the infirmary.
It was as if time slowed down the closer he got to his destination. His legs were shaken and his heart raced with anticipation and nervousness. He shouldn't have been nervous, but he was and he couldn't shake the feeling.
"Doc, hey.." Bucky took his knuckle and gently knocked upon the opened door of the infirmary, stepping inside to scan the room with his bloodshot eyes.
"Sergeant Barnes, can I help you?" She lowered her medical face mask and watched as Bucky walked further into the room.
"Is it okay if I talk to Y/N for a minute? If you're not in the middle of anything," He asked with his words, but his eyes did most of the persuading.
Dr. Cho nodded her head slowly, "Sure. I'll keep the door shut for you." She removed her plastic gloves and tossed them into the garbage can beside the sink. Bucky offered a thin smile and watched as she left the room.
The sound of the door closing caused an array of butterflies to swarm around the pit of Bucky's stomach. He felt as though he could fall over any moment, but he gripped onto the countertop – beside the cot of which you laid upon – to maintain his balance.
"Hey, doll," Bucky started as his voice shook. His light eyes watched your body laying there, motionless. He released a gentle sigh and let his eyes flicker towards a chair beside the bed. He parted his lips and walked forward, gripping the chair with his fingertips and pulled it beside the bed. Bucky took a seat and licked his lips, moistening the dryness of them.
"So, uhm.." Bucky released a gentle sigh, "I'm not doing so good, Y/N/N. I haven't been able to sleep or eat ever since you got hurt. Our last mission was a total mess. It should've been me who took the hit and I haven't been able to forgive myself for letting you end up here.. like this."
Bucky was not one to be vulnerable, but with you all guards were let down and he could express so much to you, more than he would've liked to admit. "Everyone's worried about you, but they all know you'll be okay. Sure, yeah, I know you'll be fine, but what if you aren't?" Bucky spoke in a raspy tone, the shakiness would soon cease.
"I know you can hear me, but it's like you're not even here. It's like I'm talking to your corpse," He took his palm and ran it down his face. "Y/N, I didn't get to tell you some things that I'd been meaning to share with you."
Bucky released a shaky breath and allowed more tears to slip from his eyes, "I love you." His body leaned forward, closer to the edge of the bed as he reached for your palm, taking it into his own. "I knew it the minute I met you," He choked out, attempting to maintain a steady tone. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I let you get hurt under my watch, I hate myself for letting this happen to you, doll."
Gently letting his lips rest against one another, Bucky pressed his forehead against the edge of the mattress. Tears slipped and his body grew physically weak, the emotional pain hit him like a high speed train.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N/N.." He whispered through his tears.
Ever so delicately, you grazed your fingertips over Bucky's and moved them up to his head. With all the strength you had regained, you softly ran your fingers through his long hair. The texture was soft and you admired that. Tears slipped from your closed eyes as you listened to him weep before you.
Bucky's head turned up to look at you and noticed your body begun to move, your fingertips moving by your command, your eyes slowly blinking as you took in your surroundings.
"Doll?" He whispered through the tears.
"Bucky.." You smiled weakly and took your hand, that lingered in his hair, and caressed his cheek softly. The pad of your thumb brushed away his tears.
"I love you," He whispered and turned his lips toward your hand against his face, kissing your palm and fingers softly.
"It took you long enough to say it," You released a gentle laugh and gently pulled his closer, foreheads resting against one another. Bucky smiled through his tears, pupils dilating as he looked down at you.
Weakly, you pulled his face closer, overtaking his mouth with your own. Your eyes fluttered shut as your lips molded with Bucky's as though they were crafted by the Gods just for one another. Your fingers ran through his hair, admiring the utter softness of it. The flavor of his mouth was unlike anything you've ever tasted. You let him sneak his tongue between your lips and toy with it gently.
Softly pressing your palm to his chest, you pulled back to catch a breath with a gentle smile. "Please don't have to be sorry for anything, Bucky," You spoke in a whisper, your voice slightly hoarse. "You did all that you could," Caressing his cheek softly, you kissed his nose as he had been leaning close.
"I love you," Bucky's tears dried beneath his eyes as he pressed his lips against yours once again, the feeling overwhelming beautiful.
"And I love you," You muttered into his mouth, feeling your body ease into his.
.
a/n: hi beautiful babies!! i hope you liked this little angsty fluffy piece! i think we all enjoy seeing bucky vulnerable and sometimes i wish i could've seen his vulnerability in the avengers movies, but most of it came out in tfaws, which i loved seeing as well. i hope this made you smile and cry at the same time. i also hope i got bucky's vulnerable side as accurate as possible! i love you all so dearly. enjoy this and have a lovely day/night. be safe and treat people with kindness. — angelina.
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stuckonylove · 2 days ago
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Natasha: Okay explain to me why I have to bail you 3 out of jail?
Tony: it's all-
Steve: *covers Tony's mouth* This is entirely your fault!
Tony: *peels Steve's hand off* I was actually going to say it's Bucky's fault
Bucky: Me?! I didn't even know about your brilliant plan!
Natasha: WHAT HAPPENED?
Tony: Steve complained that when we go drinking Bucky and I always get really drunk and he has to take care of us
Steve: So Tony said that I need to get drunk faster then Bucky so Bucky'll have to take care of us this time
Steve: Than he made me down 10 shots
Steve: and that's the last thing I remember...
Steve: Therefore this was all caused by Tony's bad advice
Tony: Again don't blame me! Bucky was supposed to take care of us when he realized how drunk we were!
Natasha: *Lifts eyebrow* Bucky anything to say to that?
Bucky: I blacked out before I showed up at the bar, but that sounds about right
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anusha-swritings · 2 days ago
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Wait...I thought you died?!
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// I do not own this gif // credits to the owner//
Summary: Y/N finds out Bucky didn't die.
Warnings: None
MasterList
The Avengers sat in the living room of the tower, Alexis in the middle explaining her life story. She’d just joined the team and as expected she needed to tell them her life story. “So to reCAP,” She giggled looking over to her best friend. “I’ve been best friends with Steve since we met in like 1930. Howard gave me cool powers with a super serum prototype. I was frozen trying to save Cap’s butt, Thor and Loki somehow miraculously found me and I lived on Asgard for like 30 human years. When I came back to Earth it’d been like I was here the whole time, I ran around saving people for a bit then I found Tony, and here we are.”
Soon they started asking questions, “So did you ever, I don’t know, date anyone?” Wanda asked excitedly, ready to hear about my love life. I thought for a moment, blushing before casting my thoughts to the wall, for them to view like a plasma screen tv.
*Flashback*
I watched as Howard powered up the ruby red car. “Wow!” I exclaimed looking up at Bucky who was smiling back at me lovingly. “Amazing isn’t it?” We look back to the car just as the car sparks and falls to the ground. I jump, grabbing Bucky’s arm. “Scared?” He asked, smirking. “Shut up,” I grumbled blushing before pulling him with me. We walked into the music room, and I smiled admiring the grand room.
He pulled me out of the doorway to avoid being trampled by the people entering behind us, and in the process pulled me flush against his chest. “Would you care for a dance love?” He asked, smiling down at me. I smirked, “On one condition.” “Yes?” He responded quirking his eyebrow. “Promise not to step on my feet?” I explained, poking his chest at each word for emphasis. He sighed, rolling his eyes at my reaction. Dragging me by my hand, Bucky led us to the center of the dance floor and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck and closed my eyes breathing in his scent. We swayed softly to the music as that memory faded out into the next one.
The next memory was the day Bucky left for war. Bucky and I pulled away from our hug. “Promise me you’ll stay safe?” I whispered, holding his upper arms and staring into his eyes. Kissing my forehead he promised, “I’ll come back to your doll. No matter what.”
*End of Flashback*
I teared up and smiled as everyone glared at Steve as he stared at the ground. I looked around confused, although I’ve never told anyone about this, this was not the reaction I expected. “What's wrong?” I asked.
“She deserves to know.” Wanda glared at Steve, finally turning to me with a look of hurt in her eyes. Confusion twisted on my face, “know what? Steve, what's going on?” My best friend turned in my direction, but he still didn't look at me. Instead he looked past me, the same hurt in his eyes.
Just as I was about to turn around I heard an all too familiar voice behind me.
“Doll?”
Taglist: @lovelynamj
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margarethx · 19 hours ago
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I love how nonsensical and inconsistent are Sam’s standards when it comes to Bucky’s behaviour. He forgave him a murder attempt (thrice), insensitive comments, bad attitude, and ghosting... but then he got offended about Bucky not liking Marvin Gaye that much and saying simple “hi” to his sister. It’s amazing.
I honestly believe that if Bucky tried to attack Sam for the fourth time, Sam would get over it within an hour, but if Bucky rated his favourite movie only 7/10 Sam’d stop talking to him for at least three days.
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Champagne
Warnings: alcohol consumption, pregnancy, implications of sex
Summary: Bucky has something to ask.
A/N: This might be a one time thing, might not be. Let’s see how this goes and we’ll go from there. Enjoy!
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He watched your hair flow behind you, moving side to side as you shook your head, laughing at what Sam had said. He was mesmerized by the way your face lit up in the dim light, eyes crinkling as you grinned. He came over to you to bury his face into your hair, drinking in your scent mixed with the spicy smell of alcohol. He started to leave kisses on your neck, earning a groan from Sam and a chuckle from you. Sam had mumbled something under his breath and walked away.
“I love you,” he murmured against your skin, wrapping his arms around your waist, drawing you closer to him. Your back was flushed against his chest, head resting against his shoulder. “I love you so much.” He peppered kisses on your neck, making his way up to your jaw. You tilted your head as his nose brushed your pulse point, tickling you. He chuckled and pulled away.
You turned in his arms, gazing into his eyes. His heartbeat picked up its pace, pounding against his chest as he drowned in your E/C eyes. He let his lips land on yours, silencing whatever you had opened your mouth for. He tasted the champagne on your tongue, swallowing the moan you had let out. He pulled away for air, letting his forehead rest against yours. He heard the small giggle you let out, making his lips curve into a smile. That was his favourite sound and you had yet to prove him wrong, saying that it couldn’t be.
“Y/N!” You looked over your shoulder, to see your sister and her husband standing next to her. Her hand was on her rounded belly, glowing brightly as she grinned and waved at you. Bucky was reluctant, but released you from his grasp to meet your sister. He watched you sway your hips a bit more than usual, teasing him as you looked over at him with a wink. He only smiled and walked towards you, knowing that Noah would be bored with what you and your sister talked about.
“I can’t believe you made it,” you had mumbled when Bucky stood next to you, holding out a hand to Noah. Noah grasped his hand and pulled him into a brotherly hug, one that Bucky had become accustomed to.
“Thank god you’re here too,” Noah joked, earning a glare from you and Faith. “I would’ve been bored to death with their talks.” Faith smacked her husband on his arm, scowling at him as he laughed and kissed her hair.
“You do know I’m only joking, right?” Noah said, his British accent getting thicker. “A little bit.” Before Faith or you could say anything, Noah had dragged Bucky across the room, seating him into a barstool and himself too. Bucky’s eyes trailed back to you as Noah asked for two bourbons. His heart skipped a beat when you caught his eye, smirking and lifting a glass of champagne to your lips. He saw the light imprint of your lipstick on the edge of it, eyes darting back to Noah as he started to talk.
“They’re complete opposites, you know? Faith and Y/N, I mean,” he said, taking a sip of his bourbon. Bucky turned around, twirling his hand to mix the ice.
“Yeah, they are,” Bucky mumbled, tipping the glass back and putting the glass down with a clink. The burning sensation lasted for a second, but Bucky couldn’t feel the alcohol hit his veins like it had almost seventy years ago. “But we wouldn’t prefer them any other way.” Bucky and Noah smirked, looking over at their girls only to see that they were laughing about something. Both of them smiled.
“No other way,” Noah whispered, taking another sip of his drink. Bucky let out a breath, calling Natasha, who was playing bartender again, to fill his glass.
“You boys will get caught staring,” Natasha remarked as she filled Bucky’s glass. She smirked when Bucky rolled his eyes and Noah snorted. She turned her attention to Noah, tilting her head a little when she moved back. “How’s Faith doing?”
Noah smiled and answered, “Well enough to start bickering over how loud I’m eating a muffin.” Natasha laughed full-heartedly, throwing her head back and shaking her head. Bucky knew that Steve liked when she did that, so he looked over and, just as he expected, Steve was admiring Natasha. Bucky smirked behind the rim of the glass, taking just a sip this time.
“And what’s going on with you and Steve?” Bucky asked innocently, looking up at Natasha. Her dark eyes showed a flicker of surprise, red lips parting before she composed herself. Her eyes glanced over Bucky’s shoulder to look at Steve—Bucky smiled inwardly, keeping a straight face on the outside.
Natasha raised an eyebrow, guarding her eyes and face before saying, “I have no clue what you mean.” She smirked and Bucky felt his stomach twist. “What’s with keeping a ring in your pocket if you aren’t going to put it on her finger?”
“Wait, what?” Noah snapped his head towards Bucky, eyes boring into his temple. “You’re going—” he paused, noticing how loud he was. “You’re going to propose?”
Bucky nodded slowly, gulping and looking over at you. You were smiling, laying your head on your hand while resting your elbow on the counter. You nodded and started to talk, lips moving as your face went serious. You tucked your hair behind your ear in annoyance, scrunching your nose when your sister interrupted you. You waved your hand and started talking again after she had finished her sentence—Bucky had long understood that you didn’t like interruptions.
“When?” Noah asked, drawing Bucky out of his thoughts.
Bucky shrugged, mumbling out, “I don’t know.” He had never thought when or where, but he knew he just would.
At the start, he had been closed off and liked you for backing off when he needed you to. He would spend the time in his room or training room rather than outside with the team, but you had changed that. You had invited him to watch a movie in your room after one of his episodes, saying that Steve and Sam were coming too. He had agreed, thinking that even if something happened, Steve was there to hold him back. At the end he had ended up sleeping on your bed, waking up to your beautiful face. It was then he noticed he wanted to wake up to that view everyday. Slowly, but surely, he had started to open up around you and go out with you to some of your favourite places.
“You should do it soon,” Natasha said, glancing over at you. “You two complete each other.”
———
“Did you have fun?” You asked Bucky, finally meeting him on the dance floor. He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. His lips were warm against yours, making you feel lightheaded and whine as he pulled back. He grinned and kissed your forehead, kissed your cheeks, kissed the side of your lips, before kissing your lips again. He could taste the champagne on your tongue, feeling like he was getting drunk off of your taste. His hands moved down your hips, gripping and digging them into your back, pulling you against him roughly. You yelped into his mouth and he smiled.
“Yeah,” he murmured, his lips grazing yours. “I had fun, but I’m hoping to have more with you.”
You giggled and Bucky could swear it had never sounded more sinful. He buried his face into your neck, smelling your perfume mixing in with alcohol again. He pulled away, feeling the small tug on his hair from you. You were smiling widely. The type that made your eye crinkle up on the side. The type that made your cheeks rise so much it hurt. The type that made your face glow. The type that he had fallen in love with. The type that made him smile back.
“I love you,” you whispered, kissing his cheek. His cheeks were hurting from how much he was smiling. He saw you take half a step back before moving more back, taking the warmth from his body. He quickly grabbed onto your wrist, pulling you back into his chest. He grinned boyishly at your short laugh, eyes twinkling with mischief. He moved back a little, holding your wrist to keep you in place. He walked towards a table, running a hand through his hair, fixing it to lay to the left—you had cut it to reach his ears a few days back, explaining that he needed a new look.
He let go of your hand and climbed onto the table. “Hey! Can I get everyone’s attention? Listen up here for a second!” He shouted into the crowd, grabbing everyone’s attention in just a few seconds. You were silently laughing and shaking your head, tilting your head to look up at him. He grinned down at you before looking back up and gazing into the crowd.
“The woman standing here, looking at me like I’m an idiot, is the love of my life,” he started, “and I want to say something special to her. I love you.” The crowd hollered and whistled, his friends in there somewhere too, but he didn’t dare look at anyone else. His eyes were set on you. “I love you so much that I forgot how to hate myself. I love you so much that I want to spend every second of my life next to you. I want to spend my time listening to you talk about everything and nothing in general.
“I want to spend time choosing horrible gifts for your horrible colleagues and wonderful ones for everyone you love. I want to spend time making fun of you before kissing you and telling you you’re perfect in every way. I want to kiss every tear off your face and hold your hand. I want to wake up next to you and see your face before I go to sleep. I want to tell you I love you for the rest of my life. I love you so much, now and forever. So, Y/N Y/S, will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you spend the rest of your time with me? Will you be mine for the rest of our lives? Will you marry me?”
You nodded furiously, tears coating your cheeks as he jumped off and slid the ring on your finger. Then he kissed your cheeks, kissing the salty tears as he had promised, before kissing you passionately. His head spun with your taste, champagne lingering on your tongue.
For once, in over seventy years, he was drunk on your taste.
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Out of Your League | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi, friends! This is a submission from @buckysbxnny :
"hi!! idk if you’ee still doing requests but can you write something where the reader is feeling really insecure about herself? and feels like she doesn’t belong with bucky?"
and I love it! Plus, I've been in this exact situation, except not with Bucky...unfortunately.
Send me your comments, requests, and/ or suggestions! 🥰
Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @glxwingrxse @psychoticmason 💘
-----------------------------------------
Your focus drifted from your conversation with Wanda to Bucky's muscular form. He stood across the room in dark jeans that hugged his body perfectly and a black t-shirt that clung to his chiseled physique. Not only was he a super soldier, he was a fucking smokeshow: tall and strong with a sharp jawline and deep blue eyes- you couldn't believe he was real. More unbelievable, though, was that he was yours. You looked at yourself in the mirror behind the bar, and wondered why Bucky was with you. You were less than flawless and Bucky was definitely out of your league. He always told you that you were the most beautiful woman in the world- the only one for him, the only person he wanted...but that was hard for you to believe.
In this room alone stood Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Wanda Maximoff, Hope Pym, and Sharon Carter. All the women Bucky worked with were effortlessly beautiful while also being complete and total badasses. They were all so smart and cunning with absolutely no fear-which you could not compete with. You stared longingly at Nat, wishing you were more like her, until Bucky's deep, velvety voice brought you back to reality. "Hey, gorgeous, you okay?" he asked, taking one of your hands in his. You nodded and threw him a smile, melting as his thumb rubbed circles along the back of your hand.
He pulled you close and pressed a kiss to your forehead while weaving his strong hands around your waist. "What do you think? You wanna go home soon?" he asked with an air of mischief in his voice. You couldn't help but smile at his suggestion, and stood up on your tiptoes to meet his lips with yours. "I'll take that as a yes..." he murmured, sneaking a hand down to give you ass a squeeze.
You made the rounds, saying goodbye to Bucky's coworkers before heading out. As you said goodbye to Nat, Wanda, and the other perfect women Bucky worked with, your feelings of inadequacy returned. Bucky intertwined his fingers with yours on the walk to the car, noticing how unusually quiet you were being. "Everything alright, sweets?" he asked as he held the door open for you.
"I'm good, Buck," you lied, putting on a fake smile to keep him from worrying about you. The two of you rode in silence, Bucky's hand gripping your thigh the whole way home. The second he shut the front door, Bucky was all over you. He gripped your hips an pulled you against his body, kissing your neck with unfettered enthusiasm. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones and let him fuck you senseless, but something in you held you back. The voice in your head that told you you weren't good enough for him was screaming so loud that you were shocked Bucky couldn't hear it.
You felt tears sting your eyes and tried to quickly blink them away before Bucky noticed, but he was already pulling away. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked as he took your face in his hands, "You don't seem like yourself..." A tear betrayed you and spilled over your lash line, proving Bucky right. His face flooded with concern and he wiped the tear from your cheek gently. "Woah, hey- come on, talk to me, doll" he murmured as he looked deep into your eyes.
You shrugged and let your eyes flick away from his, embarrassed by what you were about to say. He took you by the hand and led you to the couch where he sat silently until you were ready to open up. "Buck, I just don't...I can't see why you're with me", you confessed, "I look at you and how fucking perfect you are and I'm just...not".
A genuine sadness filled Bucky's eyes and he reached out, taking one of your hands in his. "You are perfect, doll. You are everything I have ever wanted-", he argued.
"But Buck have you even met the women you work with?" you interjected, "They're all so smart and gorgeous and tough and- Wanda is literally magic. I just can't compete with them. I can't. It's embarrassing-when we go out in public, I feel like everyone's wondering why someone like you would be with me..."
Bucky kissed your palm a few times before he spoke, needing the time to gather himself so that he wouldn't get too emotional. "You are the most incredible person I've ever met. I wonder every single day how I got so lucky to be with you. You're so funny and kind and smart- I swear, you know everything- and you're so fucking gorgeous. I have no idea how you manage to always look so beautiful, even when you've just woken up in the morning...I'm amazed by you, sweetheart. I mean it."
His words filled in the cracks that had formed in your heart over the course of the night, and you gave him a sheepish smile. "I know that I can't fix how you feel, but I just need you to know-you are everything to me," he murmured, "and I promise to remind you of that everyday." His strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you into his lap, squeezing you tightly against his body.
"Thank you, Buck..." you whispered against his chest as he held you, feeling more loved than you ever had. "I mean every word," he promised, "and I always want you to tell me when you're feeling that way-so I can tell you just how wrong you are."
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sergeantxrogers · a day ago
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| kikazaru - see no evil |
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Summary: Being on the run with Bucky was fun. It was easy, and carefree, and distracting. Until your lives plummeted and you found yourself fighting for his life, as well as your own.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Word count: 4.1k
Warnings: Violence, injury, swearing
This is part 2 in a three-part mini-series.
____________________
Bucky Barnes and his damn pumpkin pie.
You grumbled under your breath as you shoved your shoulder against your door, stumbling over the threshold. The obscenely large pumpkin almost slipped out of your grip as you switched the bag you were carrying into your other hand, all while attempting to kick the door shut behind you.
You made your way to your kitchen, heaving the pumpkin on the countertop, dropping the bag at your feet. Sighing heavily, and throwing your keys onto the counter next to the pumpkin, you turned and left the kitchen. 
“Buck?” you called out, passing through the empty living room. 
“In here, hun,” his voice called back, and you followed it to the back of your apartment, finding him in your bedroom. 
“Hey, baby,” Bucky greeted with a smile as you came up to hug him. His arms found their way around your waist when you pressed up against him, leaving a small kiss on his nose. 
“I got it,” you said softly, smiling at the twinkle in his eyes as he stared down at you.
“You did?”
His voice held a childlike excitement as you nodded. 
“What have you been up to?”
The question was prompted by the sight of his damp hair, and you lifted a hand to push a long, dark strand behind his ear. He hummed.
“Made some coffee, watched some TV. Just took a shower, too,” he replied, and you nodded.
“Wanna help me?”
Bucky’s smile grew even bigger, and he nearly pushed you over when he scrambled to get through the door. A disbelieving laugh left your mouth, grabbing tight onto his hand as he tugged you along behind him. 
A month into your escape to Romania, with a little help from a guy you knew who knew another guy, Bucky discovered the joys and wonders of baking. Specifically, pumpkin pie. And when he found out you were an excellent baker? He almost lost his mind. After getting a handle on the local flea market and grocery stores, you went out to the market every month for two years to buy the biggest pumpkin you could find, to make him his pumpkin pie. 
It was one of the first things that brought you closer to him. The initial month or so of him trying to remember, of him trying to shake the horrible feeling of cryosleep permanently etched into his bones, was tough. Tough was an understatement: you were living with, practically, a stranger and it was on you to help him get better. There was also the occasional fear and constant worry that you would get caught by HYDRA or the US government, but that was like an annoying itch in the back of your mind more than anything else. You were too preoccupied finding out Bucky’s Ma made prize-winning apple pies and mashed potatoes. 
Pulled out of your thoughts by Bucky sliding the large knife out of your kitchen drawer, you smiled to yourself as you watched him half the pumpkin with ease. His eyes flickered to you, then down to the few seeds spilled onto the counter, and back to you again. 
“You gonna do anything or are you just gonna stare at me all day?”
A reflexive eye roll was your answer as you pushed your hips off the counter where you had been leaning, taking the knife from his hand. You shooed him away slightly to the side.
“Watch and learn, pal.”
An hour and a half of scooping out pulp, cleaning seeds, making puree, molding a crust and baking, you were done. 
(Truthfully, you would’ve been done earlier than than but Bucky seemed to have a habit of getting a bit sidetracked and letting his hands wander wherever they pleased. You weren’t mad, but the kisses were distracting.)
“Is it good?” you asked, still a hint of hesitancy in your voice, like you were expecting him to say it wasn’t. As if he ever would. 
Bucky set his plate down on the coffee table where both of your feet were propped up, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. He placed a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, smiling against it. 
“It’s wonderful. As always, doll.”
You blushed at his muffled words, leaning further into him. Lifting your feet off the table and bringing your legs in underneath you, you let your head lay against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat. 
Alive.
He was alive. 
Sometimes, when he fell asleep before you, or you fell behind him a few steps to admire his walk, or even when you watched him brush his teeth in the morning, that fact would hit you like a ton of bricks, and you would get dizzy. 
Bucky should’ve died, a long time ago. Against all odds, physical, biological, even humane, he was still living and breathing, standing before you trying to learn the ways of a new world he was cruelly thrown into. Even if he hadn’t died after the fall from the train (which was the main cause of his cries in the middle of the night, hands frantically grabbing for you in his sleep just to have something or someone to hold onto), old age surely would’ve had him by now. Yet, Bucky Barnes was alive. It was a cruel, beautiful thing.
“Did you get me plums?”
The deep treble of his voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your eyes refocusing and meeting his. 
“Plums...?”
He nodded.
“Shit- Buck, I forgot, I’m sorry,” you apologized, brows furrowing as your back straightened. 
“It’s fine, baby, I’ll get some in the morning.”
His tone was calm and reassuring, and you sighed defeatedly, letting your head rest against him again.
____________________
A loud thump had you fluttering your eyes open, squinting against the morning light seeping through the window. A heavy groan left your lips as you rubbed them, turning onto your back to face the ceiling. 
Movement in the corner of your eye caused you to glance to the side, and every nerve in your body froze.
“What the fuck,” you whispered. 
Captain America stared back at you, standing in the middle of your small shared apartment, shield in hand and a notebook- Bucky’s notebook- in the other. 
You sat up in your bed, slowly, wishing for the first time since you had gotten there that the apartment was just a bit bigger, so you would have somewhere to run. Your mouth opened, then closed, unsure of what to say to the man standing in front of you.
“Ma’am...,” he said, taking a small step towards you, and reactively, you scooted back further against the headboard. He stopped, then held his hands up in surrender.
“I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I won’t hurt you. I just need to know where James Barnes is.”
You shook your head softly, at a loss for words. 
“I- I don’t know- wh-”
“It’s very important that you tell me,” the blond replied, words dripping with authority and business, and you found it hard to make a connection between this man and the Steve who couldn’t eat ice cream too fast or he would get brain freeze, in the few stories Bucky remembered. 
“I... I really don’t know where he is,” you said meekly, shaking your head again. It was the truth: Bucky had left before you woke up, no doubt to buy fresh fruits and veggies, but you didn’t know where. The fist clenching your blanket tightened as Steve sighed. 
His head turned then, slightly, to the side, his hearing picking up on something you couldn’t, and then he shifted his feet. 
His blue eyes glanced towards the door, then back towards you. 
“You should probably get behind me,” he said, voice quiet, and your brows furrowed. However, the seriousness in his tone had left you no room for questioning, and you climbed out of your bed slowly, gaze shifting between him and the door to the apartment. 
“Wh-”
Your question was cut off by the door bursting open, a furious Bucky Barnes standing behind it. Relief flooded you and relaxed your shoulders as your eyes met his, and his gaze softened. 
Steve took a step towards you, shielding you with his arm, and in turn, Bucky stepped towards him. Carefully, assessing the situation. 
“Stay behind me,” Steve whispered to you, never taking his eyes off Bucky.
“No, I-”
“Shh.”
You furrowed your brows and pouted your lips as he cut your explanation off, then glanced at Bucky again. You could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest, the tightness in his jaw. Anxiety was hitting him like a semi, the worry that something might happen to him, or worse- to you- scratching at the back of his mind. 
“Let her go,” Bucky muttered, taking another step forward.
“You know me?” Steve asked, ignoring what he had said.
Bucky’s breath grew heavier, eyes growing darker. “You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.”
You shot him a confused look as he lowered his gaze. Why would he lie? You knew perfectly well Bucky remembered him, so why would he keep it from him?
As you opened your mouth to say something, Steve stepped forward. 
“I know you’re nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be... but you’re lying.”
Your breath caught in your throat, and Bucky spared you a glance as Steve caught him red-handed. Saw right through him. 
“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore,” Bucky said quietly, and it only confused you even more. 
Steve’s head jerked to the right, and it was only then that you noticed his ear piece. Someone was talking to him. A sense of impatience seemed to rush through him as he took another step forward, and you saw it as your chance to push past his arm outstretched in front of you. You rushed towards Bucky, his hand reaching for yours and meeting your in the middle, and you stood behind him. 
Steve’s look of shock only flashed on his face for a second before he turned his attention back to Bucky. 
“Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”
“That’s smart,” Bucky muttered, “good strategy.”
Bucky stepped away from Steve, covering you even more with his body, holding your hand behind him. 
Steve stared. “This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”
Bucky pulled you along with him as he stepped to the side, and sighed deeply. 
“It always ends in a fight.”
“You pulled me from the river. Why?”
Taking off his gloves, Bucky sighed again. You glanced worriedly at his metal hand, now exposed, as he turned towards Steve.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do,” Steve said steadily.
In a split second, both Bucky and Steve’s heads turned towards the window, and before you could register what was happening, the sound of smashed glass filled your ears as you watched Steve deflect a grenade with his shield, pushing it towards Bucky. Bucky, in turn, kicked it back, and Steve covered it with the shield a split second before it exploded. 
A gunshot filled your ears at the same time as a loud bang on the door, and Bucky pulled you into him, deflecting a bullet with his arm before it reached you. Covering your head and crouching low, you yelped when an agent broke in through the other window, Bucky meeting him with a punch. 
You could hear more gunshots, and the sounds of Steve’s grunting somewhere around you, but for the life of you, you couldn’t get your eyes to leave the hardwood floor, fear solidifying your bones like lead. 
“Buck, stop-”
Steve’s voice echoed in the room, and you lifted your head slightly.
“You’re gonna kill someone-” His sentence was ended abruptly when Bucky threw him onto the floor. A sharp gasp escaped your throat when Bucky broke the floorboards next to his head, pulling out a backpack. 
“I’m not gonna kill anyone,” Bucky replied with a glare, and threw his backpack behind him, out the open balcony door. Another round of soldiers and a fresh wave of gunshots met the three of you as Steve stepped forward with his shield, holding it over all of you, backing up. All of a sudden, a gust of wind blew against your face as Steve was thrown through the last remaining window, and Bucky pushed you down behind the kitchen counter before leaving again. 
Sitting with your knees pressed up against your chest and your head in your hands, all you could hear were the muffled sounds of fighting and yelling. You clenched your eyes shut, the only thing grounding you were the tears falling freely down your cheeks. 
You felt a presence beside you again, and you glanced up to see Bucky speaking to you. You could hear nothing, through the shock and loud noises, but you focused your gaze on his lips as he spoke. I love you. If I make it, meet me at our spot.
You nodded blankly, and he pressed a heavy kiss to the crown of your head. 
He was gone as soon as he had come, and the sounds of fighting carried out through the building, growing quieter as they retreated lower. You willed your breath to calm down, and only got up from your spot once you had reassured yourself nobody was left in the apartment. Or rather, what was left of it. 
Brushing debris and dust off your pants with shaky hands, you turned to step out onto the balcony. It seemed you had taken to long to gather yourself, however, because Bucky’s backpack was no longer there, nor was he. Steve was nowhere to be seen, either.
In the distance, echoing throughout the city, you heard police sirens.
____________________
Your fingers shook as you fiddled with the TV remote, trying hard to press 1-6-4. The local news channel. 
“Thanks again for letting me use your TV, Ms. Booker,” you said as you turned your head to watch the little old lady carry a plate of cookies towards you. Ms. Booker was your upstairs neighbor, and once she heard someone else from the United States had moved into the building, she made it here civic duty to bake you and Bucky cookies once a week and bring them down. She had opened the door to find you dirty, crying and shaking like a wet dog, and ushered you into the warmth of her tiny apartment immediately. 
“Of course, sweetheart, whatever you need,” she replied, setting down the plate in front of you, a kind smile on her features. 
You gave her a graceless smile back, eyes glancing back to the small TV across from the couch.
As you had suspected, the breaking news story of Bucharest was the capture of the Winter Soldier, along with Captain America. You sucked in a deep breath as Bucky’s defeated face came up on screen, surrounded by officers with his hands in the air. You scanned the headline quickly, reading Berlin, Germany and Joint Counter Terrorist Center, piecing the puzzle together. You sighed heavily, meeting eyes with Ms. Booker, and she patted your knee. 
“Looks like you need to catch a flight.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose in an attempt not to cry, and nodded.
“Need me to make a call, honey?”
You nodded again. “Thank you, again.”
She waved you off, getting up to search for her phone. Ms. Booker, as luck would have it, used to work for the FBI, back in her glory days, as she would call them. She chose to spend her retirement in Bucharest, all the while still keeping a few contacts around just in case, for dire situations. And this was definitely a dire situation.
Holding a hand over her phone speaker, she popped her head back into the living room. 
“You go pack, you’ll be leaving in an hour.”
____________________
The groan that left Bucky’s lips as he came to made your head shoot up, your back straightening. 
“Bucky...” His name left your mouth in a whisper as you sat on your knees beside him.
“Hey, Cap,” Sam called out. You heard the shuffle of Steve’s feet as he jogged towards the rest of you.
Bucky’s eyes scanned the warehouse you were in, then the heavy machinery keeping his arm in place, and then, finally, they landed on you. 
“Baby...,” he mumbled, and you nodded, shushing him as you pushed his hair out of his face. 
You turned your head to see both Steve and Sam standing, watching the two of you with suspicious faces, glancing between each other in a search for answers. 
Bucky’s head dropped slightly, leaning against your touch, as if he was exhausted. “Steve...,” he muttered, eyelids fluttering.
“Which Bucky am I talking to?”
Bucky’s head lifted to look at him, and the ghost of a smile graced his lips.
“Your mom’s name was Sarah... you used to wear newspapers in your shoes,” he said quietly, through a laugh, and you felt relief flood your veins.
Steve glanced at you. “Can’t read that in a museum,” his own lips upturning in the beginnings of a smile.
“Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam asked, unamused glances thrown between you, Steve and Bucky.
Bucky turned his head towards you, lowering his voice. “What did I do?”
Before you got the chance to answer, Steve interrupted you. 
“Enough.”
Bucky sighed, head dropping again in disappointment, and you rested your forehead on his knee, arms draped across his thigh. 
“I knew this would happen... everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words,” he said, voice low and frustrated, and you felt your heart lurch, brain flashing with sudden memories of Pierce, bank vaults, screaming, his mask. A chill ran down your spine and Bucky’s free hand came up to rest on the back of your head, in an act of comfort. 
“Who was he?” Steve asked. 
“I don’t know.”
“People are dead. The bombing, the set up, the doctor did all that just to get ten minutes with you. I need you to do better than I don’t know.”
Bucky went quiet for a moment, and you could practically hear the gears in his mind turning. 
“H-he wanted to know about Siberia... where I was kept... He wanted to know exactly where.”
“Why would he need to know that?”
Bucky’s thigh tensed underneath you as he spoke. “Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier.”
The brief run-through of the other soldiers trained where Bucky was had another chill running down your spine.
“Who were they?” 
“Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. And that was before the serum.”
“They all turn out like you?” Sam quipped.
“Worse,” Bucky replied.
“The doctor,” Steve continued, “could he control them?”
“Enough.”
“Said he wanted to see an empire fall.”
“With these guys, he could do it,” Bucky countered quickly. “They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They could take a whole country down in one night and you’d never see them coming.”
Bucky’s words sent a fresh wave of worry through you, and you lifted your head to give him a glance. His eyes met yours, understanding what you were thinking without you having to say it. Sam walked over to Steve, telling him something under his breath as Steve listened.
Your attention stayed on Bucky, bringing a hand up to brush the fallen hair out of his eyes. 
“How did you... when-”
You shook your head, cutting off his questioning with a small smile. “Doesn’t matter. You know I’ll always find you.”
He gave you a weak smile, before lifting his eyes to watch Steve and Sam again. 
“We’re going to Siberia.”
Steve’s resolute words echoed throughout the warehouse and you whipped your head towards him. “I’m coming, too.”
“No,” all three of them said in unison, and Bucky grabbed your face in his hands, one warm and the other cold. The contrast was familiar, something you’ve felt multiple times in the past couple of years, and you were almost brought to tears at the realization that you almost lost that feeling for good.
“It’s gonna be too dangerous, doll,” he whispered, eyes staring into yours, and you furrowed your brows.
“I don’t care, I’m coming with you. I wanna help, Buck.”
He shook his head firmly, bringing your face closer to his, forgetting about the two other men standing in the room.
“I can’t risk that. You know I can’t.”
“I won’t get hurt, Bucky, I’ll be careful-”
“No, I know you can take care of yourself, baby, that’s not the issue,” he said with a slight shake of his head.
“Then what is it?”
He sighed, blue eyes scanning your face, as if he were memorizing it. “I can’t trust myself around you. Especially in territory like that.”
You almost opened your mouth to reply, but the raw sincerity and pleading in his eyes convinced you otherwise. You let out a deep breath, pursing your lips as your hand came up to grab his.
“Please, stay... I love you too much to risk it,” he pleaded, and you nodded.
“Fine. Only because I love you.”
Bucky nodded frantically, placing a kiss to your forehead, when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You turned your head to see Sam and Steve standing with their arms crossed, a small smile on Steve’s lips.
“Ready to go, lover boy?”
Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam, giving your hand a squeeze for good measure. 
____________________
“We’re almost there, miss.”
The royal guard left the small room after informing you, and you felt nerves fluttering in your stomach as you headed out to the front of the jet.
“Your Majesty,” you greeted T’challa with a slight bow of your head. He nodded back, a graceful smile on his face as he stood, watching Wakanda come into view.
“Thanks for bringing me here... I’m... I don’t know I would’ve-”
“It is fine,” the king interrupted you softly. “I understand you and Sergeant Barnes are quite a bit more than friends, hmm? It would’ve been cruel of me not to bring you to see him.”
You blushed heavily at his words as you landed, the Wakandan weather and sunlight hitting you as the door of the jet opened, and you stepped out.
The walk towards the medical room was a blurred one, filled with anxiety and nerves, and too many people and colors for your brain to compute at once. Before you knew it, a guard was waving you through a set of doors, into a sterile, white room. Operational room. 
You caught Bucky’s eyes, and rushed into him before he could even get up off the operational table.
“My love,” you breathed, inhaling deeply as he wrapped his good arm around you, tightly. T’challa had told you what to expect, had told you he was fresh out of surgery, and that his metal arm was no longer there. It still came as a bit of a shock to you, however, when you pulled back and there was no glint of metal reflecting the light. 
“I missed you,” he muttered, eyes bright as he took you in.
“I missed you more,” you smiled, eyes blurring with tears threatening to fall. “Steve called me, after Siberia. He told me it was bad, but I didn’t think...”
Your sentence trailed off as you brought a gentle finger up to his cheek, brushing against the cut that was almost healed.
“I’m okay now, doll, that’s all that matters, right?” he reassured you, kissing your hand, and you nodded.
“I was thinking of staying,” you whispered after a moment of silence, and Bucky’s brows lifted in surprise.
“Staying- staying here?”
You hummed in affirmation. “I have nowhere else to go, Buck, except to you. No home except the one we built together.”
Your words were soft as his fingers stroked your cheek gingerly, sending goosebumps down your spine. 
“But... I’m going back under... until they- until they fix me-”
“I know,” you cut him off. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll still be here.”
Bucky took you in, a smile growing on his lips.
“You’ll wait for me?”
“Always.”
“Even if it takes another 70 years?”
You scoffed a laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Even then, Barnes.”
He gave you a smile, pressing his lips to yours while you played with his hair.
The doors opened behind you again, and you turned to see a doctor standing in the doorway with Shuri and Steve. 
“It’s time, Buck,” Steve said. You turned back to Bucky, giving him a sad smile.
Bringing your hand to his mouth, he placed a soft kiss to your knuckle as he nodded.
“Okay. I’m ready.”
____________________
TAGLIST:
@dreamsley​ @a-ngeli-que​ @mormonprincess​ @agirlinherhead​ @s-katergorl​ @ace-27749​ @leyannrae​ @tailsoflightning​ @acidwidow​ @angelofthorr​ @gallysonegoodlung​ @creatingjana​ @gitasor​ @blackbirddaredevil23​ 
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summerofsnowflakes · 19 hours ago
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Wicked Games Masterlist
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (Avengers)
Word count: 16.2K
Summary: You need to give him up, but it’s just too good to stop.
Warnings: This series is an 18+, MDI! Contains Smut, cheating, violence and a lot of heartbreak
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five (Coming Soon-ish)
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ohheyjanie · 2 days ago
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12 Days of Christmas {8/16}
Day 6: Talent Show @ The Brooklyn Expo Center, with Spider-Man
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, platonic Avengers x Fem!Reader
Word Count: ~2.2k
Warnings: FLUFF, some swearing, mutual pining, idiots in love
Summary: Peter enters Bucky as a participant in the talent show, much to the latter's frustration. Luckily, Alpine is there to save the day.
Series Masterlist || Series Playlist on Spotify
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Bucky really wants to be angry with Peter, but for some reason he can never fully manage it. What is it about the kid that makes it so hard to dislike him, even when he pulls shit like this? God, he and Sam are like two peas in a very annoying pod with the way they know just how to make his life a living hell. Why the heck does he love them, nonetheless?
Never ever saying that out loud, though. Bucky thinks stubbornly to himself as he prepares himself to go on stage. The other participants are going over their acts one more time, but all he can do is look down at Alpine sitting in his arms, who stares up at him innocently with her wide eyes. “How did I get here, Alp?” He asks her, but she just cocks her head at him like, why are you asking me?
This is how he got here:
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Approximately three weeks ago…
“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Parker.” Empty threats, as always. If it were anyone else, however, Bucky would have punched them square in the face right about now… although, Peter would probably have no problem blocking it anyhow.
They’re in the common room at the tower, just a few days after they all received their assigned events. Peter had looked excited when he asked Bucky what he was going to do for the show. What the fuck are you talking about? Bucky had practically screamed. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen a smile literally drop off someone’s face so quickly.
Peter, at the very least, has the decency to look like he feels bad as he rubs the back of his neck. When Bucky had told him he’d be tagging along for the talent show, he hadn’t expected the kid to sign him up as an actual participant.
“Sorry, Sarge, I thought it would be fun.” The teenager says with a sheepish smile. “But here’s the bright side: girls love it when guys showcase a talent. Plus, it’s for charity!” Peter says with a flourish, as if that will somehow fix everything. Despite how lame Bucky feels for having a literal sixteen-year-old be his wingman for the day, he does admit that he likes the idea of showing off in front of you, doing something only he can, and making you smile. There’s only one problem, however.
“I don’t have any talents,” Bucky deadpans, not to mention his utter distaste for being the center of attention. All he wants is to blend in with the crowd, standing next to you as you enjoy the show together. Maybe he would try his hand at the card trick Scott had been trying to teach him—not that he was all that confident about it yet, but for you? He would gladly make an attempt, hoping that, at the very least, it would make you laugh. “Other than assassinations, maybe.” Bucky’s voice is low and dangerous now, but to Peter’s credit, he doesn’t even flinch.
“Sure you do!” He says, ever the optimist. “How about—uh…” Peter falters when he tries to offer up some suggestions without mentioning Bucky’s metal arm. He would like to avoid getting bitch slapped in the face, if possible. “How about you sing a song?”
“Yeah, that’s a hard no.”
“Dance routine?”
“How is that better?”
“Slam poetry.”
“What? I’d rather be set on fire.”
“Puppet show.”
“About what? How I probably shot JFK?”
“Do you paint or anything?”
“That’s more of Steve’s thing.”
“Juggling? Come on, you can totally juggle with that arm.” All caution is thrown out the window now. Desperate times, meet desperate measures.
“Psh, that’s so lame.” Bucky scoffs while Peter rolls his eyes, as if asking the older man to just work with him here.
“Ventriloquism, then.”
“Oh, you’d better be fucking kidding right now.” Bucky sneers, but Peter just has the audacity to smirk back at him.
“Okay, okay, okay.” The teen purses his lips and taps his chin with his forefinger as he searches his brain for another idea. Suddenly, there’s a jingling of a bell from the collar around Alpine’s neck as she wanders into the room, looking for her owner. Meow. Bucky can see Peter’s lightbulb moment as the kid perks up. “Does Alpine do tricks?”
Huh. Now, there’s an idea.
Alpine does indeed have a few tricks up her sleeve. Plus, you adore his cat. How many times has he come home only to catch you in his room, lying on the floor next to Alpine’s bed, taking pictures of her and squealing at how cute she is? Sometimes he’d be on a mission in Europe somewhere, exhausted and having trouble sleeping in the too soft hotel bed. With perfect timing, as if you knew he was struggling even though you were halfway across the globe, you would send him videos of Alpine, of her meowing and swiping her tiny little paws at the camera, your little barrage of heart eye emojis making him smile despite his fatigue.
Bucky can picture your big smile when you watch Alpine on stage, performing tricks like a total pro. Peter plops himself down onto the couch when he sees the lopsided grin on Bucky’s face, satisfied that the crisis has been averted. He’s already turning on the TV and snacking on a package of Sam’s double-stuffed Oreos by the time Bucky is picking Alpine up off the floor to return to his room.
“You should put a little bow on her, Sarge.” Peter calls out, grinning at the image of her white fur in contrast with a bright red ribbon around her neck. Bucky doesn’t miss a beat, not even turning around as he responds.
“Well, duh.”
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So, here he is, waiting in line for his turn to go up on stage and do his little bit. Bucky tries reminds himself that Alpine is the real star of the show here, and nobody will really be paying attention to him. Suddenly, there are a series of murmurs coming from the crowd as the event organizer announces a special guest host for tonight’s event. Butterflies, seemingly with razor-sharp wings, flutter in his stomach. The idea of having all these people staring at him is overwhelming; this was such a bad fucking idea.
Peter, whose real identity is still being kept a secret, shows up in his Spidey suit. Everyone bursts into applause at the sight of him as he makes his way onto the stage, waving at the audience in his usual friendly manner. Bucky finds you instantly from across the room, standing near the back of the venue with Happy just a few feet away. He must have offered to drive the two of you here, since Peter probably just got back from school—although Bucky suspects it had more to do with Happy wanting to get a glimpse of Peter’s Aunt May; making sure the two of you got here safe and sound was just icing on the cake. Bucky smirks despite himself, remembering the way Peter had scrunched up his face in disgust when he said that he once caught his aunt and Happy making heart eyes at each other when they thought he wasn’t looking.
You leave Happy’s side to go take a walk around the room. There are some booths set up for some local shops, the owners having brought some of their products to sell and promote their businesses. You’re admiring a selection of handmade jewelry and Alpine starts to stir in his arms, ears perking up at the sight of you.
“You’ll see her later, Alp. It’s alright,” but Alpine seems desperate for your attention. She keeps meowing loudly, squirming as if she’s about to jump out and take off in your direction, much to his discomfort. Everyone in line is looking at him, it feels like.
“Aw, she’s so cute.” One of the other performers coos, bending over slightly to get a better look. Alpine doesn’t even look in her direction; neither does Bucky, because you’ve heard the meowing. You scan the crowd and his heartbeat speeds up when your line of sight travels closer and closer to where he’s standing. When your eyes finally land on him, all the nervousness he felt is melting away like snow in the sun.
“What the—” He hears you say, bringing a smile to his lips. Alpine is whining for you again, but you’re already crossing the room in hurried steps. Before you can ask him what he and his cat are doing here, Peter is announcing the first performer. The venue falls quiet, and you stand there in line with him as you wait for the young man with the guitar to start his act. As soon as the soft notes of his guitar fills the room and he begins to sing, you lean over and whisper low enough not to disturb the show. “Wanna tell me what you’ve got up your sleeve, Buck?”
“Hey, don’t look at me,” Bucky whispers back, not taking his eyes off the stage. “It’s her act.” Right on cue, Alpine meows as if in confirmation. The two of you stand side by side as you watch the first few performers finish their acts: an ex-ballerina, her hair streaked grey, who still moves with all the grace and poise in the world; a violinist playing a piece that brings tears to some of the spectators’ eyes; a few children performing cute little dance numbers. However, you are jolted back to reality when you hear Peter announce the next participant.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Peter says into the microphone. “Please join me in welcoming Alpine the cat and her assistant, Sergeant James Barnes!” Bucky flushes pink, tossing a wary glance at you as a grin spreads across your face.
“You’re her assistant,” you repeat, trying to hold back the giddy laughter that bubbles up inside your chest, threatening to spill out. But you can see how nervous Bucky is, so you decide laughing at him isn’t the best course of action. “Break a leg, Sarge.” You give him two thumbs up as he hesitantly strolls up to the stage. Unable to help yourself, you’re cheering and clapping with the audience as the two of them get settled up there, smiling so hard you think your cheeks might split open.
Bucky’s eyes find yours amongst the crowd and he lets out a breath and smiles. Your heart jumps a little as you see his shoulders relax. For a few seconds, you entertain the thought that your presence here might bring him some kind of peace, even for a few brief seconds. He then turns to place Alpine on the stool next to the microphone stand, and he whispers something to her. She raises her little paw in the air, shaking it a little as if waving to the audience.
It’s been, like five seconds, and you’re already a blubbering mess. You whip out your phone to capture every second so that you can show Wanda and Nat when you get back to the tower later. Bucky has Alpine performing several standard tricks, like high five, sit, lie down, and roll over. He hides a silver bell under one of three paper cups, but she picks out the right one every single time, her tail wagging harder and harder each time she’s rewarded with a treat. Bucky even has Peter step forward so she can press a kiss onto his cheek. When it’s over, Alpine rears back to stand on her hind legs and bows to the audience with a meow; the crowd coos adoringly.
Bucky picks her up and tucks her under his arm, asking her wave one more time before they step off the stage. You’re already running to the other side to meet them, squealing and bouncing with excitement as you reach out to practically smother Alpine in praise and affectionate pats.
“That was adorable, Buck! I didn’t know you taught her tricks, what the hell?” You say, pretending to be offended. He’s chuckling as Alpine is already trying to scramble out of his arms and into yours, as if she isn’t his cat. Sometimes, he wonders if that’s true anymore. He lets you take her from him, smiling widely as you carry her in your arms like she’s a tiny little baby. Alpine loves it though, playfully reaching up to tap her paw against your cheek.
“So, why didn’t you tell me you signed up?” You ask, when you finally manage to tear your gaze away from her. Bucky can’t even be mad, he likes the look of you fawning over her so much.
“Now where’s the fun in that, doll?”
“…Peter did it in secret, didn’t he?”
“I swear, it’s like it’s his life mission to fuck me over.” Bucky confirms, not even trying to pretend anymore. His heart does flips when you smile at him then, the way you always do. Suddenly, you’re lifting Alpine up to his face, blocking his view of you.
“Kiss time, Alps!” You laugh, while she does exactly as you ask and licks a strip up Bucky’s nose. He wants to scoff, because do you have any idea how long it took him to teach her that? Yet, she does it instantly when you ask, even without the promise of treats. He wants to be offended, but then you bring her back to you and demand, “Now me!” Alpine presses her mouth to your face, her eyes closing affectionately when you nuzzle against her.
Maybe one day, if you would let him, Bucky would also be privileged enough to know the feeling of your soft cheek under his lips.
To be continued!
Up Next: Day 7 — Ugly Sweater Bingo @ The Mott Street Senior Center with Natasha Romanoff (coming Dec 9th)
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Taglist will be in the reblog post! <3
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mox-writes · 2 days ago
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Mistletoe (Bucky Barnes x Reader) MoxMas Day 4
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Warning: some language, brief kiss, fluff
Word Count: 1,864
Pairing: roommate!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Everyone tries to get you and your roommate, Bucky, under the mistletoe.
Prompts: Avoiding the mistletoe at all costs, however, everyone is trying their best to get the otp there. / “Whoever forgot to put the turkey in, I’ll see you in court.” / Baking cookies together
A/N: I kinda changed the prompts a little bc I was just writing and forget to refer back to them, so they aren’t exact. If it starts to get a little wonky, pls ignore, I’m literally falling asleep and kept fucking up words lmfao. Crossposted on moongoddessmox
MoxMas Masterlist | Prompt List 1 | Prompt List 2
You had been busy all day helping your roommate Bucky get ready for the Christmas party you were having later. It was just your friends from the Avengers including a couple of the Wakandans that helped Bucky in the past. You left Bucky in charge of the turkey, something he was adamant he could handle and refused help with. He wanted to show off his cooking skills and present the turkey as a huge welcome to his friends. That left you to decorate and clean the already clean house, but you had never met the Wakandans and you wanted everything to be to the highest standard.
“Why are you cleaning under the rug?” Bucky questioned, turkey injector in hand and messy apron wrapped around his waist.
“What if they slip on the rug and it kicks up dust? What if they peek under it, investigating to see if we’re, I’m, dirty? What if-” Bucky cut you off.
“Darling, I promise you they’re not going to look under the rug, I don’t think they’re gonna mind that the floor is dusty…it’s a floor,” Bucky chuckled as you huffed and continued vacuuming every inch of the floor. He went back to seasoning the turkey and slid it into the oven. The doorbell rang and it startled both of you. You weren’t expecting guests yet. Bucky answered the door as you frantically laid the large rug back in its spot and ran away with the vacuum, clattering it against the walls as the cord whipped behind you. Bucky laughed as he watched the cord zip across the floor and out of sight. Something about being seen cleaning made you uncomfortable, guests could only know that it was clean, not that you were cleaning it that day. You quickly wrapped the cord around the neck of the vacuum and shoved it in the closet, straightening your outfit and heading back into the living room.
Sam and his sister, Sarah, were at the door greeting Bucky. They had foil pans of some sides and desserts and headed toward the kitchen with it. You greeted them, a little too out of breath still and you tried to awkwardly play it off. They glanced at each other and raised eyebrows at Bucky, who was clueless to their assumptions. Sam pulled Bucky into the kitchen and whispered.
“Y’all fuck?” Bucky’s eyes got wide and he shook his head in disbelief.
“No! She’s cleaning but she doesn’t want you to know she cleans, only that the place is clean.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,”
“Yeah, tell that to her.” Bucky shrugged. Meanwhile, Sarah was secretly hanging mistletoe in every doorway of the house, knowing full well that you and Bucky had crushes on each other but refused to acknowledge it. She knew it from the moment you visited them with Bucky. The way your eyes flicked from his to his mouth as he talked, or how intently you listened to every word he said, or how eager you were to help him any chance you got. She also saw the way you froze a little any time he called you “darling”. When you two announced that you were going to be roommates, everyone suspected that you would be sharing a bedroom, perhaps finally giving in to your feelings for each other. But as Sarah hung mistletoe in the doorways, she saw two bedrooms, much to her surprise, and they both looked used.
The four of you hung out in the kitchen, rolling out cookie dough and cutting it into Christmas shapes. Bucky freehanded a few in some very dubious shapes and chuckled to himself. You glanced over at his work and found some penis-shaped dough sitting beside trees and gingerbread men.
“Buck!” you smacked his arm, forgetting that it was metal and instantly regretting your playful violence.
“Ya know, that’s what you get, leave my little creations alone.” He teased, cutting another dick out of the chocolate chip dough. You rubbed your hand, soothing the pain away as you watched him. An innocent smile on his face as he gazed upon his cookies, god he’s so adorable. You caught yourself staring with a smile and looked up to see Sam and Sarah watching you with smirks. Your eyes got wide and you looked away, turning your attention back to your own cookies, innocent cookies.
You went to make another batch of cookie dough, sugar cookies this time, and accidentally puffed a cloud of flour directly into your face when you opened the bag. A peal of echoing laughter erupted in front of you as your three cookie-making teammates watched you struggle. Bucky stepped toward you, your eyes shut tight not wanting to allow the flour to get in them, and extended his hands. He gently pressed his thumbs to your eyelids and wiped away the flour so you could see. As you opened your eyes, you saw him standing in front of you, a smile on his face and hands still on yours. You blushed, shuddering back a bit, and looked down. He blushed as well, immediately removing his hands and wiping them on his apron.
“God this is painful,” Sam whispered to Sarah. They watched you two with pained looks and crossed arms. You were so oblivious to each other’s feelings that it was almost revolting, they just wanted to yell at you to make out already. You began to walk out of the kitchen to clean up in the bathroom and Sam nudged Bucky toward the archway, where a small mistletoe hung in the center. Bucky didn’t budge, unsure why Sam was trying to get him to move. You didn’t pay attention and left the room without a glance.
“You’re killin’ me, Buck, you know that right?” Sam shook his head.
A couple hours passed and the rest of the guests were arriving on time. You had changed into something nicer and welcomed everyone into your home.
“It is very nice in here, very clean, Y/N,” Okoye mentioned as she stood in the living room with members of the Dora Milaje, Ayo, Nomble, and Yama. You shot a look at Bucky, a snarky “I told you so” glare that made him chuckle and throw his hands up. Everyone had immediately noticed the mistletoe hanging around the house and knew that they must have been there in secret, they all were aware of your little thing with Bucky and knew that you’d never allow yourself to be caught under a mistletoe. So, they all made it a mission to get the two of you under one before the night ended.
You stood up to get more wine from the kitchen and Steve looked at Nat, flicking up an eyebrow in your direction. Nat understood exactly what he meant and called out to you, stopping you under the archway as she asked if you could bring her a refill as well. Meanwhile, Steve was asking Bucky to get him a drink so that he would end up next to you. Bucky got up and headed toward the mistletoe where you still stood. Everyone watched in anticipation but Bucky stopped, turning around to face Steve again.
“What drink did you want?” he asked. You didn’t have any reason to stay in your spot so you continued on into the kitchen to fulfill your tasks. Everyone groaned at the missed opportunity and hoped that you’d both come out at the same time.
You poured the expensive wine into the two glasses you had while Bucky grabbed a beer from the fridge. He gently placed his metal hand on your shoulder and pressed his body against your back as he reached around you to grab some more crackers for the tray in the living room. His closeness wasn’t unusual but it still sent shivers down your spine. He kissed your temple with a soft “excuse me” then disappeared back into the other room. Naturally, the Dora Milaje were all aware of your reaction and wanted to play along themselves. Ayo grabbed the mistletoe with her spear and stood behind the couch where Bucky sat with Steve. Steve got up, knowing exactly what was going on and freeing up the seat for you. You came back into the room, gave Nat her drink then went to sit by Bucky.
“Oh! I have to check the turkey,” Bucky stood up but was immediately met with the end of Okoye’s spear.
“Sit, James.” He looked at her confused, completely unaware of what was happening but did as told. Sam offered to check on the turkey instead, hopping up from his seat and heading to the kitchen, trying to keep an eye on the two of you so he didn’t miss the moment you finally kissed.
“What’s with the spear?” Bucky asked, nudging it off his shoulder and watching Okoye stand up straight with it by her side. She didn’t speak, only let the silence answer the question for him. He glanced up to see Ayo’s spear above the two of you with a mistletoe wrapped around it. He looked down at you with wide eyes, you had an equally as shocked facial expression and felt the blood rush to your face. You looked around the room and noticed everyone was watching. All conversations had stopped and they were watching, waiting for your next move. Sam could be seen peeking around the curved arch of the kitchen with oven mitts on his hands, the anticipation growing as was the smile on his face.
“Get on with it already,” Tony rolled his eyes, still having beef with Bucky but coming solely for everyone else. He was also forced by Pepper to attend, but ya know. Bucky looked at you, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his Henley and his eyes flickering between yours and his fingers. A blush crept across his face and you leaned forward.
“I guess we should give everyone what they want, huh?” you said softly, your voice low to avoid cracking from nervousness. You watched his blue eyes return to your gaze, his soft pink lips pinched by his teeth for a brief moment before leaning in to close the gap between you. The kiss lasted longer than expected, his hand found your hair and he went back in for a second kiss.
“Finally!” Sarah exclaimed. The other let out sighs of relief, and a few congratulations. Ayo moved her spear and headed back to the other Dora Milaje.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough, you too. You’ll have plenty of time for extracurriculars after dinner,” Steve said with a pat on Bucky’s back and a smile in your direction.
“I think the fuck not. Whoever put the turkey in the oven forgot to turn it on,” Sam yelled from the archway, staring at both of you. Bucky flew to his feet and ran into the kitchen, double-checking to see if Sam was lying or not. He was not. You only heard a disgruntled groan then a loud thud, a thud that sounded like a turkey being thrown at the wall.
“I’ll see you in court, Buck,” Sam threatened, half-joking. “Who’s up for pizza?”
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