Head boy, head girl, head over heels
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Slave to the moon
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Canon: everyone from the marauders era died except Alice and Frank because they were tortured to insanity. that's it, that's the story of the marauders.
Marauders era fans: Actually... *slams a 500 PowerPoint presentation full of headcanons on the table*
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OUTBURST | J.P
SUMMARY ➠ james yells at you after a stressful day, resulting in a silent treatment from your part, he has no choice but to make it up to you.
WARNINGS ➠ yelling, arguments, kinda crybaby!reader, mini mention of sex, lots of cheesiness at the end, nicknames (angel, petal, etc.), angst with a happy ending.
WORD COUNT ➠ 1.5k
A/N ➠ thank you @ameliora-j bae for giving me this ideaaa. also, everyone pls keep in mind fluff is not my fortress lol, i just thought it would be fun to step out of my comfort zone a little!
your knuckles collided softly with the oak door that stood in front of you.
your feet shuffled on the floor slightly with anticipation as you struggled to fight off the quirk of your lips at the thought of seeing your boyfriend, whom you’ve been failing to see for the last six hours.
shifting was heard from the other side of the door, and it didn’t take long until the familiar creak of the old hinges met your ears and you were welcomed with a bashful six foot tall male, whose hair was on a ruffle, along with his dress shirt.
nap, you figured.
“jamie!” you bellowed, excitement lacing your screech-y tone as you enveloped him in a ‘bear hug’ as muggles would call it.
he grumbled a hello in response, softly patting at your back, causing your brows to meet in the middle, confusion taking over your senses as you backed away from the awkward embrace.
he stepped aside to let you in, and you took an intake of breath as the state of his dorm dawned over you.
“oh gosh” you mumbled, and james thought he saw a glint of disdain spark through your eyes as you locked your gaze with him.
he gave a defeated grumble at the reaction.
“you know i’m the fuckin’ worst at cleaning shit”
“doesn’t mean you’re not able to pick up after yourself” you quipped back, picking up an old tee from the pile that had formed next to his bed.
he rummaged through his almost empty closet, looking desperately for the confidential red piece of fabric.
“where the fuck is it?” james would murmur, running his hand over the mess of curls that laid rather chaotically at the top of his head.
“what are you looking for?” you inquired.
he mumbled a response that not even fucking merlin understood.
“what was that?” your head tilted slightly.
he gave an irritated groan, “my jersey! i said i’m looking for my fuckin’ jersey.”
your eyes widened at the sudden outburst, throat running dry as a small gasp slipped past your lips.
tears rounded at your eyes as james sighed in disappointment, at himself that is.
“angel” he started, walking closer to you. “i- i’m sorry. i’m just really fuckin’ stressed and y’know having you here feels a bit overwhelming because-”
“oh?” you interrupted “i’m overwhelming? is that why you’re acting like a goddamn jerk?”
he seemed taken back by your response, it wasn’t much like you to keep an argument going, if he could even call this that.
he exhaled aggravatingly, clenching his fists at his side as you fought back the twin waterfall path that wanted to run down the supple of your cheeks. “i didn’t mean it like that” he responded “i’m just sayin’ that i have so much shit to do and when you’re here i just wanna be with you and soak in the moment, but-”
“let me fucking talk, y/n, for fucks sake!” he replied through gritted teeth.
“don’t yell at me!” you exclaimed, unable to stop the tears from escaping your waterline.
“i wouldn’t fucking be if you weren’t such a nosy brat!” he groaned, plucking a random hoodie before storming out of the room, leaving you in utter shambles as the room shook when he slammed the door closed, tiny specks of dust falling from the ceiling at the unforeseen force.
sobs wracked through your body as you plopped down on his bed, continuous cries, some silent, others not so much, drowned out on the extra fluffy pillow james always saved for you.
the walk back to your dorm was exhausting, to say the least.
while you sulked in the coffins of your poster bed, a stuffed animal or two drenching with your tears; james rested static on the empty courtyard, hefty arms resting on his knees as he grimaced at the thought of your ‘fight’.
“stupid” he’d whisper, shutting his eyes tight closed. “so fuckin’ stupid- why’d i always have to fuck things up” he repeated with a shake of his head, exhaling a cloud of air as he knocked on sirius’ door.
the door swung open in a few moments, and james was met with the sight of his friends’ cocky smile, a classic.
“evening, prongs” saluted sirius, walking back to his bed where remus laid, a fag between his fingers while he gave a slow nod of the head, which james presumed to be a ‘hello’.
“i need your help” stated james.
sirius tutted as remus smirked.
“does this help have, perhaps, anything to do with our dear old y/n?” snickered the long-haired brunette.
james squinted his eyes at him, “and how the fuck do you both know about that?”
“mate” finally spoke lupin, “she was crying when she went to her dorm, could hear the little one fucking weeping all the way there.”
your boyfriend felt absolutely terrible.
yes, you could be a bit of a baby in some cases, but it’s not like he wanted people to think he treated you somewhat poorly, when both you and him knew that was far from the truth.
“gosh i really did mess up, didn’t i?” he realized, sitting down miserably on the floor, while his friends looked at him in sympathy.
the pitiful silence didn’t last long, thanks to sirius, as always.
“tell you what, mate- we’ll help you make it up to her!”
“we?” interrupted remus, stretching his eyebrows upwards.
sirius gritted his teeth, grinding his molars against each other as he turned to the lycanthrope. “yes, moony. we.”
a coral pink dusted james’ cheeks, a smile overtaking his previously sunken features. “you’d really do that?”
“’course we would!” he scoffed “now get your lazy arses up because we’re already wastin’ time”
the usual chirp of the birds that brought a smile to your face now sounded dull and obnoxious; last night’s antics already taking a toll on your mood for the day.
your hands reached up to try and rub the exhaustion out of your eyes, you did not even bothered to look in the mirror on your way to the bathroom.
common room is quiet today, you noted. fixing your tie before giving yourself another mental lecture about how you could survive today without your boyfriend’s smothering acts.
‘s not like i’m that clingy, the voice in your head chuckled, but your heart soared at the mere thought of spending a day away from him.
“okay” you spoke out loud “fuck it, i can do this”
it felt like fucking years as you made your way down the stairs, feet dragging in front of each other tiredly.
but your tired steps haltered at the hushed whispers that were heard from the common room, everything seemed dim, as if the fire was off.
“oh my god” you gasped, putting a hand to your chest as the four walls illuminated in what you guessed were thousands of fairies.
in the center of the room stood james, a small bouquet of roses, which seemed to be picked by himself, being held in his hand. a dork-like smile decorating his face.
you barely noticed remus and sirius, who placed a candle on the coffee table, meanwhile his boyfriend grumpily set down two full breakfast plates.
“jamie” you mumbled, voice soft and full of love, the same tone you always referred at him with.
“petal” he started, lifting your shaking hand and stamping a soft kiss on each knuckle. “i’m so fuckin’ sorry, i-“
you didn’t let him finish, no time was wasted as you threw your arms around him, and it felt like a deja vu, for you were ironically enough hugging him the exact same way you did yesterday.
“i love you” he mumbled, over and over again as he cradled the back of your head, pressing his lips against yours desperately, feeling the saltiness of your happy tears on the cushions.
you never parted lips once, until remus awkwardly coughed from the shadows of the room, and you thought you heard sirius whisper and indignated “we’re still here!”
“my love” said james, making you look up at him, with a dopey lovesick smile plastered on your face. “i am really sorry, y’know i’d never even think about disrespecting you, and i love you more than the heavens above, i did not mean anything i said last night.
to be honest, i was probably pulling it out of my ass or something, because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” you gigdled at this, making james’ heart flutter at the sound “you’re the most important thing in my life and as stressed as i was, i should have not raised my voice at you”
by now there was a fresh new wave of tears on your eyes.
“oh baby” you cried,
imponent to stopping the quiver of your bottom lip at the unexpected love confession, you let the tears fall.
while james tried calming you down, the two males grimaced lightly at the usual cheesiness you both treated each other with. “all the fuckin’ time babying each other” complained sirius, “it’s gross.”
“as if you don’t get all clingy with me” remarked remus, shuddering as he saw james aggressively making out with you; how did that escalate so quickly? beats him.
“c’mon” grunted the brunette “let’s go before they start fucking humping each other or somethin’.”
[follow my library blog and turn on notifications to know whenever i post a fic!]
🏷: @selenesheart @siriusblackwifeeey @alohastitch0626 @remuslupinswhore @caosfanblr @memorycharm @abbott27 @elizabethrosedarling @samaraaaaa @malfoyspov @ildm4ev @imjustanothernerd-blog @justadreamyhufflepuff @pixaura @mollysolo @princess-jules47 @ilovejamespotter @arisblackhole @yiamalfoy @brattypeony @myalupinblack @slut4tamaki @nic0lodean @rylynn-m @harmqnia @pottahishotasf @soraya825 @toms-diary @sabrinathesimp @remusluvr @alic3cullenswife @underratedhotties @wolfstar-lb @lliasky @randomstufflol29 @what-a-load-of-queers @akraziia @4ndr3lia @maeve-7 @simpforremuslupin @naisnape
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Remus: *loses the rest of the marauders in a crowd*
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Lily: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Remus: That’s fair.
Sirius: Not again.
Regulus: Are you going to want this back?
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Regulus: say "marry your cousin" and no one bats an eye
Regulus: say "marry a blood traitor who is also your brother best friend" and society goes wild
Pandora: s o c i e t y!
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Maybe something with Dumo first realizing Sirius liked Remus. I feel like it would be something along the lines of "aw, it's good Sirius is making friends - nope, he likes him"
Fic O'Ween Day 2! Have some pre-Coops Halloween pining <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!
Prompt #2: Masquerade Meet-Cute
TW for implied/ mentioned alcohol (no drunkenness)
Dumo ducked to avoid a flying lollipop and leveled a playful glare on Logan—he received a sheepish grin beneath the skeleton half-mask before Finn jogged past with the lollipop in hand and dragged him back off into the crowd. It was exciting to have a new rookie in his home after all that time, especially one so different than Sirius.
He leaned back against the table and craned his neck to try and spot the familiar head of raven hair; the excessive sprawl of the rink ballroom made the search much more difficult than it would have been if they kept to the tradition of having the party at his own home. Still, he couldn’t deny that a costume party wasn’t a little bit more fun when he didn’t have to scrape crepe paper off the walls at the end of the night.
“Ope!” The sudden yelp to his left startled him; when he turned, red was already dripping over pale fingers. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry.”
“No, don’t be,” Sirius said, already dabbing at the spilled drink with a handful of novelty napkins. His brow was furrowed over his domino mask. “It was my fault, I should have been more careful.”
“I’m such a klutz,” the other man sighed as he reached around Sirius’ waist for a few more napkins. The accent was familiar, but the gray-and-tan wolf mask obscuring his face made Dumo stop and think for a moment. He was never all that good at placing American accents, especially when they were watered-down by years spent in the melting pot of Gryffindor and muffled by the noise of the crowd. “Did I spill on you?”
“Not at all,” Sirius assured him. The other man’s free hand flailed uselessly by his sloshed drink before he pushed the mask up, revealing an apologetic smile and worried hazel eyes. Sirius visibly paused. “Oh.”
“I guess your costume kind of hides it, huh?” Remus laughed with a shake of his head. “Good call.”
Sirius remained quiet for reasons Dumo didn’t quite understand before he blinked and seemed to come back to himself. “It was all Pots. Uh, James’ idea. Looks a bit stupid without him here.”
“Hey, no way!” Remus protested, looking up from his attempts at salvaging his tattered and lightly stained flannel with a frown. “You look badass. Robin, right?”
A soft smile—too soft for a mere lucky guess, to be honest—came over Sirius’ face. “Exactly. James is Batman.”
“He chose you over a couple’s costume with Lily?” Remus teased. The punch was nowhere to be seen on his hand, but neither of them moved from their place by the table. Interesting, Dumo thought. It wasn’t like their corner was particularly well-lit or close to the action. Very interesting.
“Catwoman’s around here somewhere.” The smile didn’t fade; if anything, it grew broader when Remus laughed.
Dumo tilted his head. Oh.
“Oh,” he murmured to himself, taking a sip of the punch Logan had definitely helped spike not twenty minutes earlier. Pieces began clicking into place like the cutouts of a jack o’lantern, forming a whole picture that he had somehow missed over six years of knowing Sirius Black. There was no concrete proof, of course, but there was just enough to prod the back of Dumo’s thoughts.
He had never seen his pseudo-son look at anyone with that same bashful excitement before. Yet there it was, directed at one Remus Lupin.
Their topic had changed; Sirius poked one of the fuzzy wolf ears perched on Remus’ head and his eyes grew mercury-bright against the black of his mask at the responding snort. Though Remus’ quick sip of his drink might have hidden his face from Sirius, it did nothing to conceal his grin from Dumo.
Someone called Remus’ name over the pumping Monster Mash and they both jumped. “You should probably go make sure nobody drowns in the apple tub,” Sirius said wryly.
“Nah, I’m off-duty. Means I just get to enjoy the show.” Remus’ eyes twinkled in the low light under the brim of his mask. The voice called out again, more insistent, and they laughed. “Happy Halloween, Wonder Boy.”
Sirius’ breath visibly caught in his chest as Remus turned and nearly bumped right into Lily, who rolled her eyes and linked their arms before dragging him off. Dumo wasn’t the best at reading lips, but he could have sworn he saw Sirius mouth ‘wonder boy’ to himself before setting his own glass down and vanishing into the dense crowd.
Very, very interesting, he thought with a sly smile.
He checked his watch—ten minutes to midnight. Plenty of time to slip away like the phantom his own mask was named for and fill Celeste in on the plan taking a vague shape in his mind.
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Okay but AU where James and Lily have a daughter (in addition to Harry) and she looks just like Lily but has James’ eyes and she’s also James’ little princess and can do no wrong
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Sirius: I would love to have a honeymoon in Venice. What do you think Moony?
Remus: Venice sounds lovely darling.
Sirius: Where would you go for your honeymoon Prongs?
James: I don't know, where would you like to go Reg?
Regulus: *Blushing intensely*
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Remus: Sirius quit bothering me and do some revision, we have an exam in 30 minutes!
Sirius: ok fine
Sirius: *takes out notebook and starts making notes*
Sirius: *writing* how to make Moony fall madly in love with me. Step one...
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She couldn’t stop feeling his eyes on her all morning.
And it was different than any other moment he ever looked at her before.
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🍁 Breeding — James Potter
content warnings: overstimulation
James watched you play with your niece, the two of you tasked with babysitting. Watching you take care of a child stirred something in him, a primal, carnal need to get you pregnant.
You felt his energy shift, turning your head over your shoulder to look up at the man seated on the couch. His eyes burned through your clothes, darkened with lust, a look you fondly recognized.
“We’ll leave soon, baby,” you promised, delicately setting your hand on his forearm.
James was practically pulling you out the door as soon as you were relieved of your job, hurrying you into the car.
“What’s got you so riled, Jamie?” You questioned as he drove, a little generous on the gas.
“Seeing you like that, taking care of a kid was making me feral. I want to knock you up so fucking bad,” James hissed, making heat rush between your thighs.
His hand reached down to rest on your thigh, hiking up your skirt and thumbing over your panties until a wet spot had formed. Now, you were just as desperate as he was, practically tumbling out of the car once he parked in your drive.
“M’gonna breed you and fill you up with my pups,” James growled into your neck as he reached around you to unlock the door, pushing you inside.
The words made arousal smear between your thighs, gushing from your pussy as you grew even more bothered. He groped you under your sundress, and you struggled to pull it off.
James aided you, stripping you bare in seconds, his clothes joining yours in a trail to the bedroom. James manhandled you onto the bed, wrestling you onto your back. He grabbed your legs, holding them together and bending them upwards, leaving your hips risen slightly off the bed.
“Look at this pretty cunt, just dripping for daddy. Want me to fuck you full of my cum? Breed you like a bitch in heat?” He sneered, rubbing the swollen top of his cock through your folds.
Every time it brushed against your clit, your body jolted, making James smirk. Without warning, James was piercing into you, splitting you open on his large cock, forcing you to stretch wide. You never got used to how big he was, every time feeling like the first as you’d squeal and wriggle under his strong grip, writhing as he fucked you hard.
“That’s my girl. I’m going to make your belly round, and your tits all full,” he grinned, mouthing and sucking one one of your alert nipples, pulling it between his lips.
You felt him hit your cervix, the depth of his thrusts making you scream. You shuddered around him, moaning and crying out.
“I know, I know. You’re so full you don’t even know what to do, hm?” He soothed, wrapping his hand around your throat to keep you still, his teeth sinking into the tender skin of your breast, leaving a mark to admire later.
Your eyes rolled back when your walls began to pulse around him, developing a heartbeat of their own. He felt you getting closer, his thrusts becoming less smooth as your muscles contracted. Your thighs were shaking beneath his hands, his name barely audible on your lips. He rolled forward, hitting your g-spot and sending you into mind-numbing pleasure,
Your moans were like music to James, his hips stuttering before hot cum sprayed into your womb, his cock nestled right against your cervix as he released, trying to get you pregnant. The sensation was startling, making you cling to him and hide your face in his warm neck, whimpering his name.
“I’ve got you,” he panted, staying buried in your pussy.
“M’sensitive!” you gasped when he began to rock his hips once more, sending shocks through your cunt.
“Gotta pump you full of cum, baby. Hold still, I’ll do all the work,” he hushed you, his pillowy lips molding against yours in a heated, heavy kiss.
Your fingers twisted into his black curls, pulling as you shuddered violently as he emptied another load into you, not letting you get up after.
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At seventeen, Lily fell in love in secret. At eighteen, she said no to a marriage proposal from a man she loved. At nineteen, things that were always meant to be come back together.
(How Lily and James fought a war, lost each other, and fell in love a second-first time).
For the @jilytoberfest Bittersweet Challenge! FLUFF TO ANGST: "It's nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today."
Thank you @clare-with-no-i for helping me push my Sisyphean Boulder up the hill by making me add this post (and @mabeltothknows aka the original architect) and all it’s E-ratedness to this. your order!jily separation anxiety legacy lives.
um also if you’re on the jily discord and saw me go through my mid-life crisis trying to finish this fic…no u didn’t
It was October.
The rain pattered for weeks and anxious first years were overheard excitedly wondering if it would abate in time for the first Quidditch match of the year.
Lily nearly laughed when she heard this and told them not to worry; the Gryffindor captain was too determined and insane to let something like weather spoil a match. Which might have been quite inconsequential, if their Head of House didn’t share the same values and could be heard loudly lecturing on the importance of a stiff upper lip in the face of ‘a bit of rain’.
Lighting and thunder boomed outside, rattling the windows of the Great Hall.
Lily’s eyes went to James.
He was sitting on the far side of the hall, tucked amidst his laughing friends and teammates. Lily was on the steps by the doors; out of sight, out of mind. The Slytherins were getting bolder each day, more and more Muggleborns ending up in the Hospital Wing, and the shadows offered her a bit of peace.
James spotted her looking and an instant smile broke across his face. He didn’t wave, but he cocked his head at the table, a silent invitation.
Lily shook her head, raising her napkin filled with toast as justification.
James grinned. Mouthed: Hey.
Lily bit the inside of her cheek so she didn’t smile, then glanced around to make sure no one saw them. He wasn’t being as careful as they usually were today, but his mates were all distracted with their own things, so there was no harm done. They were still a well-kept, lovely secret.
Good luck, she mouthed back. See you after?
He grinned and made another vague gesture—one that left nothing to her imagination as to what he wanted to do to her after.
Continue reading on Ao3!
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Have a Jily treat
Jily x oc version
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🦋 James Potter
“Family isn’t who you born with, is who you die for”
tw: mentions of y/n’s family problems
You lit up a cigarette and soon felt the smoke hitting your lungs. James laughed as you started coughing,
“I can’t believe you still can’t do that properly,” he said, sitting down beside you.
You glared, but didn’t bother to reply. You offered the cigarette to him and he took it casually, pressing it against his lips for a brief second. He too started coughing.
“Wow, don’t you look like an expert!” you said, laughing.
“Where did you get these cigarettes anyway?”
“Dad,” you shrugged. “He leaves them lying around. Doesn’t bother to tell us it’s harmful. Maybe he just doesn’t believe it’s harmful.”
“Or he doesn’t care.” James looked at you with sadness painted over his eyes. “You know you can always stay with me, right? My parents love you.”
“I can’t leave my dad,” you shook your head. “He’s the only family I have left.”
“Family isn’t who you born with, it’s who you die for,” he smiled, his eyes on the stars above. “And I’ll die for you any day.”
“How very Gryffindor of you,” you smirked, then leaned against his shoulder. “I’ll die for you too.”
“I know,” his voice was a whisper, and it hung on the air like the brightest star of them all.
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hey heeyy! your pinned post says that requests are open (ignore if they’re not!), but i have been dying for some hurt/angst fic or blurb about sirius watching the love of his life fall in love with someone else (could be another marauder like james or remus, maybe even regulus?)
much love, mwwah!
Hi! I’ve seen your other request for a Sirius black angst but it was with regulus instead (I’m also going to do that one, that’s why I picked James instead for this). I hope you like it! Mwah (also sorry that you had to wait for this!).
Pretending ( Sirius Black )
Prompt: Sirius loves the reader but he has to watch them fall in love with James.
Reader: gn (they/them) - sorta fem at just one point.
Warning: angst, depression (symptoms), one sided love, lies, kissing, marriage, feminine reader, sorta a plot twist near the end but I can't tell you what it is.
Word count: 2.1k
Sirius, who was known as the cool, relatively dick-ish, passionate, and just a generally funny and loud guy; had one weakness, which would make him let his entire guard down, and it was you.
He felt hot in the chest whenever you laughed or heaven forbid if you doubled over in laughter and used his arm as a stabilizer. He felt completely powerless and he’d let his composure go whenever he was near you, now this was torture for him, since you’re his bestfriend- well despite James.
Sirius was close to a lot of his friends, but James and you had been his primal people. He needed you guys to feel good, he felt completely empty whenever he was alone without one of you to accompany him.
He had realized his love for you in the mix of fifth year, when you came back with a bloody nose and some busted knuckles. He had basically sprung to his feet and ran over to collect you in his arms, touching your face and hands to get a good look at the damage.
“What’s happened to you?!” He asked, James getting up as well to take a look. You were swarmed with their hands, pushing them back with a grin. “Snape said some shit, I had to do something about it,” That was enough to make Sirius heart throb and he knew then that you were the one. Little did he know, he wasn’t the only one who felt the same.
Now, in sixth year you both had shared your first kiss. Yet it wasn’t with each other, much to Sirius disapproval. You had skipped into the Gryffindor common room, spilling your guts that you had just shared a kiss with a guy from hufflepuff.
“Hufflepuff! Those wimps? Come on _____, don’t kid around with me,” Sirius frowned, upset that you were getting it on with some other guy that wasn’t him. He was easy to spot his own jealousy, trying to subside it but he just couldn’t.
“I’m not kidding Sirius! I think I actually really like him!” You whispered before falling against the couch beside him. Sirius looked at you before laughing, you peered over at him with a frown. “What?”
“What? You’re seriously asking me what? ______, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of this ‘hufflepuff guy’, and believe me he most definitely doesn’t like you,” Sirius said, yet he realized the last bit was rude and he tried to correct it but you had already got up and pointed a finger at him.
“What’s so wrong with me that he couldn’t like me?” You argue, Sirius stood up to defend himself with a hand to his chest. “I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that obviously if he hasn’t asked you on a date and just started kissing ya’ he doesn’t actually care and just wants to use you!”
You scoff, rolling your eyes as you fold your arms over your chest. “I’d think I could tell if some guy was just gonna use me,” you say, afraid Sirius thought you were some clueless youngling who couldn’t care for herself. A few more words spilled and you left angrily, pushing into James who had just walked into the common room.
“What did you say?” He asked, and Sirius fell back into the couch and waved him off. James followed after you; Sirius knew he should have gone instead.
Meanwhile, you and James were talking in the astrology tower. You spilled all your feelings and frustration out to him, James had calmed you down and explained how he had thought Sirius was right.
“Hey.. I mean, do you even know this guy? Does he know you?” James asked, you thought about it after you’ve calmed down enough. “No…” you reply and James leans against the edge of the railing.
“You shouldn’t just let guys play with your feelings like that… especially ones who don’t care about you,” James says gently, whispering almost. You look over confused, “what do you mean?”
He takes a step, then another and his lips meet yours. You gasp, your hand placing over the one that rests on your cheek. He tilts your head up, a few more generous kisses are shared. He pulls back, his forehead resting over yours.
“You should be with someone who knows you,” James says, nodding in awe as you kiss him again.
“I should,” you whisper, he smiles with red cheeks.
Sirius looked on the map, seeing the faint little hearts that surrounded your name and James. His heart stops for a mere second, or more than a second, he can’t even think to count the devastating seconds that lull into minutes, then turn into hours. He sits on his bed, watching your names and pretending it’s his instead of James's.
James skips happily to his dorm, crawling into Sirius bed; which had been closed to block the lamps and cave Sirius in darkness. “Pads, Pad wake up!” James whispers in his ear, he casts a silencing charm. Sirius doesn’t have to be woken up, yet he pretends to and sits up while rubbing his hair. “What James?”
“Me and _____, oh you won’t believe it!” James says in an almost girly squeal. Sirius nods as he tries to listen, but anger and jealousy fills in his body. James tells him all about it, and as much as Sirius wants to not listen he can’t help but not. After James leaves, he lays back down and pretends.
He pretends it was him instead, all of what James had told him he pretends it was him. And the details James left out, Sirius fills in the blanks. He imagines until the morning, when he hears Remus shouting at James to know why he’s so excited.
“Life is amazing when you’re dating the most gorgeous person in the whole world!” James calls, Sirius slumps back into bed, deciding he doesn’t want to get up. Dating? How could that have happened so fast?
The days draw on with Sirius half present, he would watch you and James. He was the first to witness the romance, seeing the hand holding and the kisses, the giggles and the I love yous. And every night, Sirius would lay in his bed and pretend it was him.
For months it went on like that, an endless pit of sadness and pretending. He felt sick, why should James and you not find happiness because he himself didn’t get the lover he wanted? He knew he should be happy for you, but he couldn’t with the unhappiness that filled him to the void.
Sirius sometimes forgot he was pretending, so wrapped up in his daydreams that he forgot you weren’t actually dating him. The realization that you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours was devastating everytime he thought about it.
He soon felt like he didn’t have a best friend anymore, it’s not like James knew of his feelings for you, but he still felt mad at James. But don’t get Sirius wrong, a part, a very small part of him was happy for you both but it was mostly covered under all the darkness.
He tried to move on, he tried to fall in love, he tried to get new friends, he even stopped smoking for a while- but none of those things made him feel good. He hadn’t realized how long it’s been til he was in his 20’s, hanging out in his apartment with James, Peter and Remus.
James had this look and mood to him, that they all catched on and Remus and Peter asked several questions to get him to spill why he looked so happy. James brushed them off, saying it was nothing but a good day. Soon after they left and it was just James and Sirius, he had finally told why the day was so good.
“Pads, look,” he said, digging through his jacket pockets and pulling out a ring box. Sirius breathed in hard, caught by surprise. He watched as James opened the black box, a diamond ring that was fit to your finger was presented. James gushed as he told Sirius all about how he wanted to marry you, asking for Sirius's blessing.
“My blessing? Why do you need that?”
“Well you’re her best friend and my best friend, it’s only right,”
Sirius nodded, over the past years he has gotten good at displaying his emotions when it comes to James and you. He smiled big, clapping James on the back. “Of course! Go ask them to marry you!” James started crying as he hugged Sirius.
“Think they’ll say yes?” He said through tears and Sirius laughed, embracing James tightly but more for his own comfort. “Of course they will, you’re the one who knows them best,”
With that, James went home and asked you. By morning Sirius had been bombarded with a happy engaged couple. He helped with the wedding, being offered best man; he of course couldn’t say no. He arranged many things with them, talking over venues and foods, flowers, dress code, he even went wedding dress shopping with you.
The dress shopping was what got Sirius the most, he was honestly confused when he was asked since it was a more girly tradition but he agreed. You tried on a few, Sirius' heart pounded in his ears but it was the fourth dress that had taken him star struck.
He watched you come out, red cheeks as you gushed you thought this was the one. He felt the room go silent, except he knew the other girls had been talking. His eyes went all over, your shoulders, chest, waist, and the flowing bottom half.
He felt a pain to his side, Marlene motioning for him to answer you. His eyes went back to your face, you eagerly waiting for his approval.
“It’s uh- yeah this is the one,” he whispers, you couldn’t quite hear but Marlene spoke up for him. You smiled big, happy he liked it and then asked him a heart shattering question; “do you think James would like it?”
Right, this was not your wedding with him. You were not going to be his partner, nor did he get to feel the excitement as you walked down the isles and wed him. Sirius welled up with tears for the first time since he came to terms with the relationship, you grew concerned and stepped down from the little walkway and engulfed him in a hug.
“What’s wrong?” You pleaded in confusion, taking his face in your hands as you wiped his tears. He shook his head, trying his best to keep his envy down. “You’re just so pretty, James will love it,”
All the girls were in awe of his words, thinking it was a reaction from a happy groomsman. You didn’t catch the real meaning behind his tears, you welled up with your own and embraced him again. “Thank you Sirius, you mean the world to me,”
He nodded into your neck, he felt the same numbness he had when he saw your name nexts to James on the map the years back in hogwarts. He grew unconcerned with time, days passing, weeks going by, until months appeared and it was time for the wedding.
It was a beautiful ceremony, of course with James money and your coordination- it was obvious it was going to be beautiful. Sirius stood behind James, the music chiming as people stood to see you walk down the isles.
James had a proud grin on his face, it almost shouted ‘look at them! That’s my soon to be partner! That’s the person I’m marrying!’ And yours held the same kind of pride, a bouquet of flowers in your hands- the one Sirius had arranged- and he watched you stop in front of James. Sirius had to remind himself once again, that you weren’t his.
The vows were made, Sirius almost tempted to stop the wedding when “does anyone object?” was asked, but he stood back and kept his mouth shut, he’d come so far with the lie and he knew it wasn’t far to ruin it- not when you looked so happy.
The cake was cut, the dancing began, and Sirius tried not to sulk in the corner. You begged him to dance and he agreed, twirling you around and he began to pretend again. He pretended he was your newly wedded husband and he actually began to enjoy himself, before James came into view and you rushed off to go dance with him. Sirius sulked back to the outskirts, hanging near the wall.
Sirius felt like there was nothing left for him, that there was no good in the world- that your happiness wasn’t enough to keep him happy, so when he was offered a place at the death eaters table, Sirius had taken it.
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James: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your brother?
Sirius: YOU WHAT?!
James: Fuck, it wasn't that.
106 notes · View notes
Regulus: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
James: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Regulus: Absolutely not
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