#jaskier doesnt know what to do with all the love and devotion he's being handed. ''im sorry'' he says. almost sobbing

[roughentumble]

oh my god oh my god fic concept:

jaskier starts getting kind of depressed, because he's loved so many people over the years, but feels they havent really loved him back to the same degree. his friends are all getting married, and he doesnt really have... a person. someone who's just his. someone willing to give themselves to him, and willing to take him as he is and all that. he confesses all this to geralt one late night, and geralt replies "...i would marry you."

he looks over in surprise. "like a-- a pact? if im not married by the time im 45, you'll marry me to keep me from being lonely?" he asks, and geralt tells him sure, he'd do that. at first jaskier thinks he's joking, or isnt saying it seriously, just rolls his eyes. but as he asks more questions-- "would you have a ceremony," "would you kiss me at the alter," "would you travel with me even more than we already do, come to my competitions, would we- aside from kissing and sex- live as man and husband"-- he starts to realize geralt really, truly means it. and ultimately what jaskier was feeling was loneliness, that no one wanted him. and here geralt was, his best friend, so willing to be his partner in all ways and give part of himself to jaskier, and take jaskier as he is.

he cries, but theyre good tears, and geralt holds him. "then i'll take you up on that offer, witcher-mine." he says, half crying and half laughing, and geralt tells him it's a deal.

45 comes and goes and jaskier has no prospects. they get married in the summer.

it's surreal, marrying his best friend, but it's a beautiful ceremony, and he gets to eat cake and dance and drink, and it's exactly how he always pictured it, and geralt actually smiles, so he counts the day as a win.

years pass, and geralt's made good on his promise. he's a good husband. even if theyre platonic, theyre partners in all things, and jaskier finds he loves married life. he loves the life theyve made together. and, with dawning horror, he realizes he's fallen in love with his friend.

he agonizes over it. those werent the terms of their agreement, after all, and it feels like a terrible secret to keep-- enjoying all their usual intimacy in a new, private way. he's flustered around geralt like he never has been before, and he's sure it must be the most obvious thing in the world.

they've been beyond big secrets for so long that he's no good at hiding it, and it feels so wrong, that eventually he caves and confesses everything, even though he's so afraid of ruining their life together. he's in tears as he confesses. but geralt doesnt run, or curse him, or anything else he'd feared.

geralt kneels before him and takes jaskier's hands in his. reaches up to gently wipe away his tears. and tells him, joyful, breathless, that he'd been in love with jaskier since just a few months after posada

#jaskier gapes like a fish. ''but-- but you never told me! all this time!'' he protests in shock. the world spinning #geralt shrugs like its the easiest thing in the world. ''you didnt love me back. what would be the point? you knew i cared #and thats the part that mattered.'' #jaskier doesnt know what to do with all the love and devotion he's being handed. ''im sorry'' he says. almost sobbing #''im sorry it took me so long to get here.'' #but geralt just shakes his head. kisses jaskier's knuckles. ''its alright. i dont mind. not a moment of it was wasted. not one second'' #witcher tag #ogc tag