Willie: Who traumatized you?
Alex: Do you want a list?
Willie:
Willie, with his sleeves rolled up: Yeah, actually
74 notes
·
View notes
Julie: *Screams*
Luke: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Reggie: Should we do something?!
Alex, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
68 notes
·
View notes
Luke: *telling Julie about a gig the guys played back in the 90’s* It was crazy
Julie, remembering the time he misspoke and called the Grinch the Grink: Was the Grink there?
43 notes
·
View notes
Rhonda: So how did you die?
Reggie: Oh, we had bad street dogs.
Charley: Well, that’s a new one.
51 notes
·
View notes
Reggie: My parents always said that if everyone jumped off a cliff, I should too.
Alex: Your parents said that?
Reggie: They were not very nurturing people.
48 notes
·
View notes
alex: ugh, this party’s dead
reggie: so are we!
alex:
alex:
luke: he has a point
118 notes
·
View notes
Julie: “you know how you lie to your parents?” + “motherfucker is this how you write songs?!?”
Luke: “My parents used to ask me what I thought I was doing but that really just meant ‘stop’ they didn’t actually wanna know my thought process.” + “That’s my wife!”
Reggie: “I need everyone all day long to like me sooooo much.” + “I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I’m under.”
Alex: “People look at me and they’re like ‘get some rest tall child!’” + “I was raised Catholic as I’m sure you can tell by my everything about me.”
Flynn: “Do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I would totally kill that guy for you. Lol see you at improv practice!” + “this might as well happen. Life is already so goddamn weird.”
Willie: *to Lifers in the HGC* “How dare you applaud the worst decision I ever made?” + “for interest I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.” + “fuck da police.”
Bobby: “I don’t drink anymore because apparently I used to black out and ‘ruin parties’.” + “you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”
Carrie: *pulls in to a McDonald’s drive through with a van of excited children. Orders a single black coffee. Drives away.* + “None of us ever really knows our fathers. Anyway…”
Nick: “I was shiny and dumb and easy to trick.” + “Ah yes. My title of Alpha which I definitely had once.”
Ray: “I try to stay a little optimistic. Though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.” + “Our house was built in the 20s but got flipped in 2014 so it’s definitely haunted but has a lovely kitchen backsplash.”
Carlos: “Well here goes nothing. You ever seen a ghost????”
Tia: “Shut up you’re all gonna die! Street smarts!”
Caleb: “A child came up to me once and told me that I could do whatever I wanted forever. And I took his advice.” + “he looked like a man who should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti but instead he made his living in murder.”
117 notes
·
View notes
Julie - Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Luke - You stab me, and when my leg gets better, we buy a big ass house.
Reggie - You stab me too, then we’ll have 20 million.
Luke - Good thinking.
133 notes
·
View notes
Luke: Dude it's dark in here
Reggie: Don't worry man I got this
Reggie: *Stomps his feet, skechers light up*
300 notes
·
View notes
Luke: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Reggie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Julie: I got distracted about halfway through.
Alex: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
282 notes
·
View notes