#jay halstead angst

[halsteadlover]

Haunted

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @lelaartt: So reader and Jay are engaged, her working as a nurse in the ICU. She gets followed by a stranger on her way home for couple of occasions (She doesn't tell anyone) as the stranger becames a main suspect in case that intelligence is dealing with. Jay completelly worried about her safety and she tells him about the stranger following her for couple of weeks.

• Warnings: stalking, cursing, blood, description of violence, brief mention of killing and rape. (Let me know if I missed something).

• Word count: 9530.

• A/N: I know this is a long ass fic and I’m so sorry please don’t come at me 😭. I’m kinda nervous because I really don’t vibe with the fic but I really hope it turned out okay. Let me know what you think and reblog, comment and like if you want. ❤️ thank you again for your support, forever grateful for it. Sending lots of love to you all xx

Your hospital shift was nothing short of exhausting.

That day there were three hospitalizations in the ICU due to a terrible accident that happened in the afternoon. Three patients, all of them brain dead. The ward was short-staffed and it was just you and another nurse, Amanda, on that shift so dealing with these three new patients, along with the other ones, was really exhausting.

After closing your locker, you removed the necklace where you hung the ring and slipped it onto the ring finger of your left hand, which you did at the end of each shift. You didn't want to risk losing it during work, you’d never forgive yourself for it so you just carried it around your neck during the shifts. You looked at it for a moment with a smile on your lips thinking back to the day Jay asked you to marry him.

You took your cell phone from the pocket of your uniform and, as you walked towards the exit, bag on your shoulders, you noticed various texts from Jay, the last one dating back to a couple of minutes prior.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:17 pm

Baby we're still dealing with a difficult case, I think I'll be late tonight. Please let me know when you get home. I love you endlessly. Be careful.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:55 pm

Baby? Are you okay?

From Fiancée 💍, 8.21 pm

Should I send a patrol to the hospital? You know I'll do it love.

You chuckled not doubting about that, you knew he would. Jay had always been very protective of you, which you wouldn't admit but loved it madly. You loved he cared about you, so much he’d leave everything and everyone to come to you if you asked him to.

From you, 8.27 pm

I'm sorry love, it's been a hard shift and I just picked up my cell phone. I'm going home now. How are you? When will you finish? You’ll come home soon, right?

You left the hospital and started walking home. It was late spring and the temperatures were finally starting to warm up a bit, allowing you to finally breathe fresh air. You really needed it after a whole day of smelling the hospital and disinfectants.

Your cell phone started ringing following a call.

“Hi baby! You really miss me that much, don’t you?” You begin, bringing your cell phone to your ear, a smile on your lips.

“I always miss you, you know that,” your fiancée answered on the other end of the phone. “Are you walking home?”.

“Yes, it's a beautiful evening and I felt like walking.”

Jay sighed. “Baby you know I don't like the idea of you walking alone in the dark, you could’ve taken a taxi or waited for me to pick you up.”

“Oh come on Jay, what’s gonna happen. I'll be home in twenty minutes,” you retorted “Where are you?”.

“I'm still in the district baby, I have to finish writing a case report and then I'm finally leaving,” you heard some noise in the background but you couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Jay continued to keep you company on the phone, refusing to leave you completely alone even though you'd insisted that he finish work so he'd get back to you soon.

You asked him about his day and he started telling you what he had done as you listened to him carefully, asking him a few questions from time to time when you didn't quite understand something. You bumped into a person and quickly mumbled an apology before walking on, quickly glancing at the man who reassured you not to worry.

“Everything okay baby?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I got distracted and bumped into a guy, no big deal. What were you saying?”.

Suddenly an unease feeling went through your body. You tried to let it go, thinking it was just a figment of your imagination.

You clasped your hand around your purse, quickly picking up your pace when you began to hear footsteps behind you.

They were so loud you seemed to hear them only a few feet away from you.

You turned around and stopped in your tracks, looking around for a few seconds before letting out a sigh of relief.

There was no one walking behind you.

Your heart was pounding and anxiety was eating up your stomach and you forgot for a moment you were on the phone with Jay.

Stay calm, you're just tired.

“Baby? You still there?” Jay's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh yeah, sorry, I couldn���t hear you anymore.” You answered. You didn't want to make him worry about your simple and stupid feeling, you knew if you told him you had the impression someone was following you he would’ve rushed to you and acted like the world was about to end.

You were sure it was just the fatigue speaking, but your senses remained alert until you got to your apartment. You took a shower while you waited for Jay to come back home, ordering food since you knew neither of you would feel like cooking.

You were about to lower the blinds in your bedroom window when, glancing outside, you noticed a figure standing on the sidewalk in front of you.

It was too dark for you to make out who it was and for a few moments you stood paralyzed, your eyes fixed on that dark figure, trying to figure out if it was just a hallucination.

The noise of the front door opening and closing made you jump in place, nearly giving you a heart attack.

You took your eyes off that figure for just a second.

Just for a moment.

And it was no longer there.

You ran your hands over your face in frustration, letting out a deep sigh at the same time before walking over to Jay, deciding you were going to ignore it and just needed a good night's sleep.

-

The following days went on quietly and the strange episode that happened a few nights before passed into oblivion. But that was before something else weird made your skin crawl.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to work babe?” Jay asked you as he planted numerous kisses on your lips, making you smile between them. It was morning and you were both in the doorway, your arms around his chest as you both struggled to pull away.

“I'm positive baby, just think about resting okay? I’ll see you tonight.”

He cupped his hands over your face, giving you one last long, sweet kiss on your lips. “I'll have dinner ready for you. You be careful. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.“

The day went on peacefully. You had to work a double shift in the hospital as the nurse on the afternoon shift was sick and had to take over her place.

You loved your job, you really did. There was nothing else you would’ve done in your life but sometimes you couldn't deny how difficult and tiring it was.

“Y/N, sweetie!” You heard the voice of your colleague, Becca, calling you from a patient’s room you'd just passed. You sighed, recognizing the tone she used when she needed something.

You took a few steps back, looking into the room and noticing Becca intent on changing the unconscious patient's dressing.

“Becca I was about to leave, why do you still want to torture me?” You whined and she rolled her eyes. “Please help me change these dressings. Pretty please, I can't wait to leave too.”

She put on the sweetest puppy face she was capable of and for the second time you sighed and rolled your eyes. You ended up disinfecting your hands, putting on a pair of gloves and helping her to change the patient’s dressings.

By the time you finished you were dead tired and couldn't wait to get back to Jay and sleep, you probably would’ve just run away if anyone else had asked you any other favor. For this reason, you practically flew out of the hospital after saying goodbye to your colleagues.

It was particularly cold that evening and you found yourself rubbing your hands on your arms in an attempt to get some warmth. Thank God you took the car that day.

You walked over to your car and grabbed the keys from your bag. Before unlocking it, you noticed an object resting on the windshield, held on it by the wiper. You furrowed your eyebrows when you realized it was a rose.

A black rose.

What the fuck?

There was no card attached to it, just the rose.

Your heartbeat began to accelerate and anxiety took over you. You tried to keep calm and not freak out since there was definitely an explanation why someone had to put a damn black rose on your car.

Maybe they were wrong, maybe it was for another person and they got mixed up with the cars.

Who the hell gives a black rose though?

Your eyes scanned the parking lot around you but you didn't notice anyone suspicious or anyone nearby watching you, before dropping the rose on the asphalt, trying not to think about it. There was definitely a mistake.

The car ride was strange.

You couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. You kept looking in the rear view mirror to notice if there were any cars following you, you were probably just getting paranoid but you couldn't keep yourself calm.

When you parked in your usual spot once you got back home, that feeling of discomfort hadn't disappeared, on the contrary, it had increased.

The streetlights hadn't been turned on yet and it was dark enough outside so distinguishing objects or people was pretty hard.

After locking the car you were about to enter the apartment building when your gaze fell on the sidewalk in front of you.

You didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore there was someone standing, exactly in front of you and, despite the darkness, you were sure they were watching you.

You couldn't figure out who that person was, only that he was a man.

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized it was the same figure you'd spotted a few days earlier from your bedroom window.

The silence was almost deafening, making everything more frightening and suggestive.

Your muscles were paralyzed as your eyes seemed to be glued to that man.

Suddenly he moved and your heart almost stopped beating.

But when you saw him go away, that was the last thing you expected.

He did nothing, just walked away.

You tried to explain what was happening in your mind. Maybe it was just a coincidence, that man was there for another reason and you had nothing to do with it.

You let out a sigh you didn't realize you were holding and quickly entered the apartment building, rushing to your home where you found Jay on the couch watching a show.

That rose left you with a feeling of anxiety that you couldn't get rid of easily, also caused by that figure you saw standing in front of you. You didn't immediately tell Jay, you didn't want to worry him since you already knew how he’d react and he’d worry to death and go crazy about it.

You just wanted to be sure that something’s happening before alarming him.

But, knowing you like the back of his hand, he immediately sensed there was something strange, that something was bothering you. You tried to convince him otherwise, that you were just awfully tired after working a double shift at the hospital.

“Baby, really, I'm fine. I'm just dead tired,” you said for the hundredth time since you'd set foot inside the house.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me. Did someone upset you? Did something happen at work?” He kept going, thumb and forefinger under your chin to keep your head up and make you look into his eyes. Your hands slid under his shirt, caressing his chest as you placed your lips on his, trying to distract him.

“No baby, nobody did anything. Seriously, nothing happened,” you muttered against his lips, “I just missed my fiancé like hell.” You bit his bottom lip and he hissed, his breathing suddenly heavy. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”.

“Fuck yeah,” Jay had said before crashing his mouth on yours and kissing your breath away. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth as his lips moved masterfully with yours. His hands went down your body and he bent slightly before reaching your thighs, pressing his fingers against your skin and urging you to jump into his arms.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck meanwhile he carried you to the bathroom, never letting go of you. As he kicked the door open, you found yourself completely lost in him, the rest of the world vanishing and all negative thoughts forgotten.

However this sensation of bliss was destined to vanish.

In the following days the feeling that was tormenting you didn’t disappear, instead it only got worse.

You started to sense someone was constantly following you and watching you, that every time you walked in the middle of the street there was someone behind you even if every time you turned around there was no one.

After finding that rose on your car, this kept happening and almost every night for two weeks a rose would appear on your windshield.

Jay knew something was wrong, you weren't acting normally anymore.

You were always jumpy, any sudden noise made you almost have a heart attack, even if you were cooking and he suddenly hugged you from behind you’d be scared to death.

Needless to say Jay asked you a million times what was going on, what was it that was bothering you so much but you didn't want to bother him. You didn't want to upset him, make him worry about some stupid feeling of yours, not when his work was already haunting him enough.

Maybe deep down you were hoping whoever was leaving you those roses would stop and eventually leave you alone.

One evening you went out with your friends, on one of your rare days off, to try to keep your mind occupied and to catch up with them since you didn't always have the opportunity because of your hectic job.

Between laughter, jokes, chatting and various cocktails, the evening went on normally and by 1:00 am each one of you went back home. You headed towards your car, parked not far from the bar where you had all met together, calm and happy for the first time in weeks.

However, this feeling of calmness faded the instant your gaze fell on a damn black rose sitting on your windshield, again.

A wave of anger took over you.

You were tired, so damn tired of this little game that whoever it was was playing against you.

Who the hell was this person? What the fuck did they want from you? Why were they targeting you?

Whoever that person was they following you, they knew what you were doing, who you were with, and it scared the shit out of you as well as infuriating you.

You tore all the petals off that rose that would haunt you forever before throwing it angrily on the asphalt and getting into the car. You started it and quickly drove away from there, intending to go home immediately.

You wanted Jay, you wanted your fiancée. You wanted to hug him, feeling safe again in his arms and forget about all that shit that was going on.

As soon as you got home, however, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay laying on the sofa, asleep. The TV was on and he had his cell phone resting on his stomach, holding it close in case you called him. A smile was born on your lips and for an instant all negative thoughts flew away as your attention focused on the sleeping figure on the couch.

You leaned towards him, leaving a sweet little kiss on his forehead, also gently stroking his hair with your left hand. He stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes at the same instant, looking around before looking at you, a sigh of relief to see you were back home safe and sound.

“I’m sorry I woke you up baby,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again “Let's go to bed so you can sleep again.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t catch and rubbed his eyes before flashing a smile that nearly made your knees buckle. He nodded and then stood up, stretching his arms before pulling you into a hug. “How are you my love? Did you have fun?”.

The memory of that rose returned to your mind but for some reason, seeing his eyes so red and tired, you decided not to worry him about it and you’d talk to him about it the following morning.

“Mmh,” you muttered nodding your head “I really had fun, we needed this girls night out even though I missed you a lot.”

He chuckled, placing his hands on your face and giving you a kiss on the lips. “I’m glad darling, you deserved it since you’re working so hard lately. And I missed you so much more,” he kissed you again “Come on, let's go to sleep now.”

But that night you couldn't sleep given the thousands of thoughts that were going through your head. You couldn't help but think who would do something like that, what the hell those roses meant. Was there anyone who had it in for you? Did you do something to someone? Maybe an angry patient?

You thought again and again about who could be doing this but none occurred to you. Jay told you about his cases so many times you knew that whoever did this was doing it to torture you, to keep you on your toes, to make you live in fear.

And the fact they were succeeding was infuriating you.

Fear turned into pure terror when, while checking your cell phone, you noticed a text from an unknown number.

So pretty. Can’t wait to meet you.

How did they get your number?

You were so immersed in your thoughts you didn't notice it was morning and that Jay had woken up in the meantime. He literally jumped out of bed when you told him the time after he asked you, realizing he was late. You had the afternoon shift so you didn't have to worry about getting ready for quite a while longer.

“Baby can I talk to you about something?” You had asked him, not being able to hold it in anymore even though you knew you picked up the worst time to do it.

How smart were you for wanting to talk to him about something so delicate as he was hurring to get dressed and going to work? Not much.

“Can you tell me about it later? I'm so sorry, but I'm super late…” he replied frantically as he ran from one part of the room to another looking for the keys. He stopped for a moment in front of you, placing his hands on your face, analyzing your features. “Is it something important though? If…”

You shook his head, placing your hands on his chest and giving him a reassuring smile even if anxiety was making you nauseous. “No, it's not urgent baby. I'll tell you tonight. Now go.”

He smiled at you and made sure to leave you a long, sweet kiss on your lips before saying goodbye and literally flying out of the front door.

It could wait, right?

You tried to keep yourself busy all morning, cleaning every corner of your apartment and keeping your mind from the negative thoughts.

You couldn't deny the slightest noise made you jump, even when you accidentally dropped something on the floor. You hated this feeling, you hated having to be afraid in your own home, you hated whoever was doing this to you, you hated them so fucking much.

You nearly jumped for joy when you realized it was time to get ready for work, the thought that for few hours you'd be safe made you especially happy to go to the hospital.

You took a shower before quickly putting on your uniform and packing your bag. You checked that everything you needed was there, house and car keys and hospital locker keys, a bottle of water, tissues, tampons, some snacks, pepper spray and a small knife. Jay had forced you to carry them around constantly, asserting you could never be too safe and he’d be comfortable with the thought you had something to protect you in case of need, and never as then as then you were grateful to him.

Once you left the apartment, you made sure you locked the door at least three times. The anxiety that had been living with you for weeks was now gripping your stomach, forcing you to constantly look around and keeping you alert to any individual passing by you.

You forcefully clutched your purse to you, walking briskly to your car and unlocking before climbing in and locking yourself inside. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were even holding as your eyes continued to scan the perimeter for any type of threat.

Did you already mention how much you hated this?

“It's okay Y/N, it's okay, just take it easy,” you whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath before putting on your seat belt and starting the car.

As you drove to the hospital you couldn't help but constantly look at the rear view mirror, almost as if you expected someone to be following you but they weren't, there was no car that you repeatedly noticed behind you.

Your cell phone started ringing and you took it from inside your bag, not taking your eyes off the road. Without even looking who it was, imagining for a moment it was Jay, you answered.

“Hello?”.

The smile on your lips instantly disappeared when instead of a voice you started to hear a heavy sigh, almost a pant.

“Hello?”.

You took the phone away from your ear and glanced at the screen, noting that it wasn't Jay, or anyone else you knew, but an unknown ID.

“Who is this?” You continued, hoping whoever it was would answer and maybe you'd recognize the voice. The person on the other end of the phone just kept sighing heavily, making your heart beat so hard you thought you were about to have a heart attack at any moment.

“What the fuck do you want from me?! Leave me alone!” You screamed, in the grip of fear, anxiety and anger that this person was forcing you to suffer. You closed the call and threw the cell phone on the passenger seat, not caring if it had bumped into something or was broken.

Your vision began to blur with tears fearing for your safety. They had your number. They knew where you lived. What kept them from taking you and killing you?

Your hands were shaking on the wheel as you parked at the hospital, palms sweaty. Your heart was still pounding and there wasn't a muscle in your body that didn't shake like your hands.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself, not wanting to cause questions from colleagues about the reason of your emotional state.

You took a few deep breaths and wiped your tears away, constantly telling yourself that everything was fine, that you'd be fine, that no one could hurt you in the hospital.

You never felt the need to have Jay with you like then. God you were stupid, so fucking stupid for not telling him about all of this before, for keeping everything inside you and hoping it’d eventually just go away, for underestimating what was happening. You were being stalked.

You texted him, telling him you'd arrived at the hospital and asking how his day was going, determined to tell him about the person who was stalking you as soon as you got off work.

You never thought you'd say it but you were never as glad you had a hard shift as you were that afternoon. Four patients arrived, one after suffering a stroke, two from a car accident and another after falling from the roof of his house.

The entire shift consisted of you and your colleagues running back and forth across the ward, treating patients, resuscitating them after one of them went into cardiac arrest twice. Your mind was focused on nothing but your patients and in treating them, everything else was left out of the hospital. You wouldn't let whoever was stalking you ruin your job, ever.

At the end of the shift there was no need to say you were dead tired and couldn't wait to go to sleep and although it was only 8:00 pm, the lack of sleep of the night before starting to take a toll on you.

As you placed your stethoscope in the locker and grabbed your bag, you removed your engagement ring from the chain around your neck and putted it on your finger. Your cell phone rang following a text notification and your heart skipped a beat for an instant.

The anxiety, which you managed to not to think about during the afternoon, returned stronger than ever to grip your stomach and for a moment you considered to throw the phone away.

But you thought it’d Jay and when you realized that it was indeed him, you breathed a sigh of relief. He said he'd be late that night because of a particularly difficult case and to let him know when you'd be done and went back home.

You tried to hide your sorrow, not wanting to be alone, especially in that situation.

You quickly typed a text back, asking him what he’d like for dinner, and put your cell phone in your bag. You said goodbye to your colleagues and walked towards the hospital exit.

You took a deep breath, praying to God to go home safe and sound.

Although spring had arrived it was particularly cold that evening due to the wind blowing and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket with you.

You walked, actually, almost ran to your car.

Anxiety was eating you alive and your heart was pounding, fear flowing like a river through your veins.

After taking the keys from your bag and unlocked the car, you quickly looked around, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you saw no one was around you.

But suddenly the keys fell out of your hands as a slimy hand placed over your mouth and an arm around your hips.

Your bag fell to the ground as you began to squirm in an attempt to free yourself from whoever grabbed you.

Adrenaline coursed through your veins as the fear of dying made you fight like never before.

You screamed, your throat burning, even though because of the hand your scream came out muffled.

“Stop fighting it, it had to happen sooner or later, you knew it was going to happen sweetie,” A man's voice came hoarsely to your ears and you suppressed a gag.

You managed to hit his side with your elbow, hard enough to loosen his grip on you and you tried to push him away with all the strength you had in your body.

“You fucking whore!”.

You threw yourself to get the car keys on the asphalt but the man was faster than you and grabbed your arm, pressing his fingers into your skin with such force you were sure they’d leave a mark.

A searing, stinging pain radiated up your face as his fist hit you full-on, knocking you to the ground. You put your hands forward to try to cushion the fall, but it caused you scratches and minor lacerations on both your forearms.

“We're meant to be. I know you want it. I saw it.”

You glanced at him and almost fainted when after few seconds your recognized him.

You had already met him. He was the guy you bumped into two weeks ago.

What the fuck?!

He tried to grab your wrists but before forcing you to get up, you managed to kick him in his genital area, using all the strength you had in your body. A sound of pure pain escaped his mouth and he backed away, leaning forward and gripping the sore area with his hands.

You took advantage of that moment of weakness to get off the asphalt. You weren't going to let him hurt you, not anymore.

You grabbed his black hair in two fists and you didn't care about the damage you would’ve caused him, you didn't care you were a nurse, that you were supposed to be the one to treat people and not hurt them, but you kneed him in his face and the horrible noise his bones made, suggested you most likely broke his nose.

You pushed him to the ground, ignoring the way he grunted in pain and the blood pouring profusely from his nose, kicking him in the stomach with such force that even you were stunned.

You never fought in your entire life, never kicked anyone or punched someone, you hated the idea of hurting people but at that very moment your life was on the line and you had to protect yourself.

The man was laying on the asphalt grunting and muttering some curse word and you took advantage of it. You had to run away, that was your only chance.

You quickly grabbed your car keys and purse off the ground before opening the door and getting in. You locked yourself in before you started fumbling to get the vehicle going.

Your hands were shaking and your vision was still blurry from the punch he had thrown at you.

You gave him a quick look, terrified he’d get up and kill you on the spot.

You didn't know how but you managed to start the car and without even looking back you drove away from that parking lot. You knew you couldn't drive in those conditions but you just wanted to get away from that monster.

You didn't know where to go, you didn't want to go home, the terror of being attacked there would’ve killed you so you went to the place where there was the only person you wanted to see, the only one who could make you feel better, safe.

The journey to the district was awful.

Your body was driving but it was as if you were experiencing everything from the outside, as if your soul had left your body and was looking at you from afar.

You didn't know how you managed to drive and not run over anyone or crash yourself.

Your breathing was still quickening, your chest rose and fell as if you'd run a marathon, your trembling hands struggling to hold onto the steering wheel. Your vision was blurred due to copious tears flowing from your eyes and streaming down your face, not even realizing you were crying desperately.

Your face was in pain and you were sure a huge bruise would appear on your cheek, although you didn't care, grateful you were still alive, that you managed to escape.

When you arrived at the district, you didn’t care about parking your car properly, or to take your bag or lock it after getting off. You just wanted Jay.

A smile appeared on Sergeant Platt's face the moment she saw you walking up the stairs, but when she noticed the way you were running, it immediately disappeared.

“Oh my God Y/N!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you up close. Your face was streaked with tears, an expression of pure terror and fear contouring your features, your uniform stained with dust. She ran towards you, placing her hands on your arms. “What happened to you?” She took a look at your body looking for any other injury. “Oh dear. It's okay, whatever happened you're safe here.”

You kept breathing hard and your eyes were so full of tears you could barely see her.

“Shh it's okay. Come on, let's go sit down.”

She put her arm around your shoulders as she took your hand with her free one as a sign of support. She led you into one of the break rooms, making you sit on the couch and sitting next to you.

Her hand kept squeezing yours meanwhile the other stroked your back, trying to calm you down.

“Do you want some water?” She asked and you nodded, not being able to speak at the moment. Trudy got up and ran to get a bottle of water.

She handed it to you after opening the cap and it broke her heart to see the way you were shaking. “T-thanks,” you stammered, your chest shaking with sobs. “J-Jay.”

“I'm going to call him right away, don't move from here,” she said, seeing the way you needed him. She got up and ran upstairs, where Intelligence was still busy working on the case.

Everyone turned to the sergeant, who was at the top of the stairs with an expression that did not bode well. “Trudy, did something happen?” Voight asked as soon as he saw her but her gaze fell on Jay, who was standing by the whiteboard, arms folded across his chest.

“Jay… It's Y/N…” She spoke, saying nothing else. “She's downstairs now…”

Jay's eyes widened at the sergeant's words, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of worry and fear. He knew something was up, by the way Platt looked at him and a wave of anxiety hit him, his mind now focused only on you.

Without even letting her finish the sentence, he quickly moved away from the others, running down the stairs, almost tripping on his feet. Trudy followed him, giving no explanation to the rest of the team who just exchanged a worried look.

“Where's she?” he asked hurriedly and Trudy pointed him to the room you were in.

He burst into the room and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting on the sofa but immediately worrying when he saw the state you were in. Trudy closed the door behind him, leaving you two alone and not giving any other cops a chance to snoop.

You had your elbows resting on your knees, your hands on your face as your leg bounced up and down almost obsessively.

“Baby!”.

His voice made you snap your head to him and before you knew it, you were rushing into his arms, squeezing yours around his torso with so much force you were almost afraid he’d disappear.

Jay was surprised for a moment but immediately returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you like he never did. He had no idea what had happened, but whatever it was he knew it was serious and that was enough to make his heart race.

“I'm here baby, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head, stroking your hair. You cried in his arms, with relief because he was finally there with you.

His heart sank as he heard you cry like that, feeling helpless like never before. You kept shaking and, without even knowing anything, Jay promised himself whoever had done this to you was a dead person.

“Baby you're making me worry to death. Please talk to me,” his voice coming out desperately. You broke away from his embrace, but still remained very close to him. “Darling, look at me. What happened?”.

His hands rested on your face and inevitably on the bruised cheek. You winched in pain and this didn't escape Jay, who was on the verge of losing his mind by then. “Y/N. Look at me,” he urged and you did as he said, lifting your head and making eye contact with him.

His breath caught in his chest as his gaze fell on the clear purple bruise on your cheek.

“What the fuck? Y/N…” he stammered, an incredulous and horrified look on his face as he looked at you. He took his hand away from your wounded cheek, placing two fingers under your chin and turning your head to inspect it better. “Shit baby… What happened? Who did this to you?”.

His heart was pounding in his chest and as his eyes looked at every single inch of that bruise that lined your cheek, every single cell in his body lit up with rage. Seeing the desperation on your face, the look of pure terror with which you were looking at him, the way your eyes were so full of tears, Jay felt as if he had stabbed and someone had twisted the knife over and over again.

“I-I… H-he…” you stammered meaninglessly, sobbing between words clearly still unable to speak.

“Oh baby come here,” he hugged you again, this time even harder than he had before. “My beautiful princess. It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now do you hear me? You're safe.” He tried to comfort you “I'm here now, I'm here. You’re not alone anymore and I will never let anyone hurt you again. You’re safe with me my love.”

“I-I was…” another sob “So… S-so scared…” you cried into his shirt, wetting it with your tears.

“I know, my baby, I know,” he whispered, placing lots of little kisses on your head. “I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen, not to you. But you're safe now, I'm here with you, you’re safe with me.” He kept repeating to you.

You both sat on the couch and he continued to hug you indefinitely, holding you and cradling you in his arms until you calmed down. “Sorry,” you muttered, your voice weak as you pulled away from his embrace, gesturing at his tear-stained t-shirt.

“Don’t even say it,” he replied. He raised his hand and stroked your hair, tucking it behind your ears as you kept your gaze on your hands. He was about to continue speaking when his eyes fell on the bruises on your arm, visible outside of your uniform.

His fingers lifted the sleeve to take a better look of the bruises on your skin. He immediately understood they were finger markers, a sign that someone had violently grabbed your arm.

“Oh darling,” he whispered, shattered at the sight of those horrible marks on your beautiful skin “What have they done to you?” His fingers caressed you gently, being careful not to hurt you further.

He was furious, like he had been a few other times in his life, and he still hadn't heard the story.

“Tell me what happened, please.”

You sighed and with still trembling voice, started talking. You told him about everything, about the roses, about the feeling of being followed, about the text, about the call and about the man who attacked you, the fact you already saw him for few seconds weeks prior, how he hit you and how you defended yourself.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me about it sooner?!” Jay snapped, when you finished speaking “This was never going to happen dammit! I would’ve killed that fucking son of a bitch.”

He leapt to his feet, running his hands over his face and pacing around the room. He didn't want to pick on you, it wasn't your fault and he knew it, but he was so damn angry, so angry you had to go through this, that he wasn't there to protect you.

His eyes landed on you noticing how yours quickly filled with tears again at his words and the tone of voice he used. “No, no, no baby, don't cry,” he rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to blame you. It's not your fault, please don't cry.”

His hands rested on your knees as you looked at him with sad, broken eyes, making his heart break over and over again. “You’re right I should have told you about it…”

“No, baby, don't get this into your head okay? It's not your fault, I’m so sorry for snapping like that I’m just so fucking furious for what that piece of shit did to you. It’s his fault, he hurt you and make you go through all of this. I hate you had to go through this alone and I wasn’t there to help you,” He sighed “I knew something wasn't right, I should have…” Jay stopped his eyes suddenly widening as you looked at him confused.

“Oh my god, that's… That's what you wanted to tell me this morning, isn't it?”. You didn't answer, effectively giving him the answer he needed.

Jay scrambled to his feet again, as if he'd just been given an electric shock. “Fuck!” He tried to keep control but you jumped as he kicked a chair in anger before placing his hands on the table and bowing his head, his back towards you.

“Jay…” you mumbled, standing up and walking towards him. You placed a hand on his back even though he didn't move from that position.

“It's my fault, this…” he choked on his own words “If I had stopped and listened to you this morning… Shit… It shouldn't have happened… I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, hey, no baby,” you interrupted him “Don't be hypocritical and tell me to not blame me and then do the same.”

He turned his head to you and it broke your heart to see his eyes full of tears. “I was late Y/N… I… This happened to you because I didn't stop for five fucking minutes to listen to you!”.

“Jay, listen to me,” you spoke to him softly. You lightly pulled his arm, causing him to straighten his back. You cupped your hands over his face, stroking his cheeks. “It's that crazy bastard's fault okay? Not yours, not mine.”

“If something happened to you… God…”

“No. Let's not do this. No ifs and buts. I'm here and I'm fine, I was scared shitless, I'm still scared shitless, but I'll be fine. You’re here with me and you’re all I need baby. These are just bruises and they'll be gone in a couple days,” you croaked “You should’ve seen how he looked then.”

He sighed before letting out a chuckle though the tears, hugging you for the third time, his hand stroking your hair. “We'll get him okay? And I'll fucking make him pay for what he did to you.”

You and Jay went upstairs, not wanting to let you disappear from his sight for even a second, after reassuring Trudy and telling her what had happened. Needless to say, she threatened to kill the bastard herself if Jay didn't. The way he answered told you that there was no need and that he’d certainly sort it out.

“I'll get you some ice for the bruise,” Kim had offered. The rest of the team didn't take it quite well either and Voight promised you they’d catch the bastard who hurt you. You and Jay had been together for a long time and you were part of the group now, an attack on one of them was an attack on all of them.

“Thank you,” you thanked her with a warm smile, placing the bag of ice on your face. The cold sent a rush of shivers up your spine.

“Come on baby, let's go in the break room,” Jay had said, his hand resting on your lower back. However, your gaze fell on the white board on which various photos and sentences were hung.

At first you didn't notice, but when your eyes saw a particular photo, you did a double take, stopping in your tracks and lowering the hand that was holding the ice.

“Baby? Are you okay?” Jay immediately asked alarmed, then following the direction of your gaze. “Oh. That's the case we're investigating.”

The photo just on the blackboard wasn't clear enough, it was a frame taken from a surveillance video but you could distinguish the features of the man it portrayed.

You stopped breathing for a second and your mind retraced in those brief moments your aggression, still fresh and imprinted in your memory.

“Y/N?” Jay pressed, worried about your reaction as his hand caressed your back.

“It-it… Jay…” you breathed out “It's him…”

“What?!” Jay's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and everyone in the unit couldn't mask their surprise.

“It was him… H-he attacked me… Oh god…”

Your hands start shaking again and you thanked that Jay was there to hold you or you would’ve probably collapsed on the floor.

Your eyes moved from that frame to the other hanging photos. There were four photos depicting four different women, more or less your age and similar in appearance to yours. Alongside these were other photos portraying instead what were unmistakably the victims’ bodies.

You were in complete shock.

What were the odds that the man stalking you was the same Jay was investigating on?

“C’mon let’s go,” Jay put his arm around your shoulders, leading you to the break room and closing the door behind him.

You weren't even crying. You were just completely shocked.

“Jay… He…” you stammered as if you were having trouble coordinating your thoughts. He put both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Baby, just breathe okay? Do it with me, take a deep breath.”

You shook yourself out of his grip, now in a panic. How could you calm down?

“He was… He would’ve killed me Jay, like… Like those women… Holy shit…” you continued to babble. You couldn't believe it. You understood that bastard was to be locked up somewhere, but you never, ever imagined he was a serial killer, that he’d done that before to those poor women. What if you didn't fight? What if he managed to overpower you?

Jay closed his hands into a fist, pressing his nails into his palms in an attempt to let out even a tiny bit of the anger, rage and fear he was feeling at the moment.

He didn't even want to imagine it, the thought was enough to make him sick. He didn't want to imagine what could happen to you. He run the risk of losing you forever without even realizing it.

Jay couldn't exist in a world where you weren't there. He couldn't even pass the idea of not having you next to him, the pain from this thought alone was unbearable and it was enough to make his heart shatter to pieces. Damn it, he asked you to marry him, you were his fiancée, his soon to be wife, the future mother of his children. You had to start a family together, buy a bigger house to raise your children and you’d live and grow old together, forever.

He couldn't accept some son of a bitch threatened to take you away from him, the most beautiful person he'd ever met, the love of his life, his anchor and his salvation.

“What happened to those women?” You asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Baby…”

“No Jay, please, just… Just tell me. What happened to them?”.

Jay took a deep breath, knowing that telling you would only make you feel worse. “No, love. Listen to me now,” he walked over to you, placing a hand on your healthy cheek and stroking your skin with his thumb. “Don't torture yourself like this, it won't do you any good to know, please trust me. You were so brave and you managed to knock out that son of a bitch and now you're here with me, safe, so just think about this okay? I beg you. I don't even want to think about what happened to those poor women, I don't want to think something like that could’ve happened to you and I don't want you to think about it either.”

He was right. You didn't want to know, sometimes it was better to live in the unknown.

“I'm so proud of you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers wiped away your tears with excruciating delicacy. “I would’ve died if anything had happened to you baby, I love you so, so fucking much. I couldn't have survived without you.”

“I love you so much Jay,” you too replied in a whisper before sharing a soft, sweet kiss, your nerves starting to finally calm down. “What happens now?”.

“You’ll stay here and we’ll continue to work non-stop until we catch that bastard.”

“Are you sure I can stay here?”.

“Is this even a question?” He looked at you as if you were an alien “Yes baby, of course you can. You have stay here. I need to know you're safe or I won't be able to think of anything else and I know nothing can happen to you if you’re here. If you need anything call me and I’ll be here okay? Try to get some rest, and put ice on your cheek.”

You nodded, knowing that even you wouldn't feel safe anywhere else but there in the district.

After sitting on the small sofa in the break room you eventually fell asleep, tired and worn out from the shift, the day's events and the lack of sleep from the previous night.

Jay and the rest of the team worked nonstop to try and locate the suspect whose name was still unknown. After learning you had hit his nose and you had probably broken it, they called the hospitals in the area and within a radius of about 20km – deducing he wouldn’t be so stupid to go to the hospital where you worked – with the hope that he’d go to get treated.

This hope turned out to be a reality when Kevin was told by a hospital just outside the city that there was a patient matching the description who was still there waiting to be treated for his broken nose.

When Jay went into the break room to warn you they'd found a lead, his heart skipping a beat seeing you asleep. Your head was resting on the back of the couch, your arms folded across your abdomen as your chest slowly rose and fell.

A sad smile spread across his face as he approached you with silent steps, his chest tightening at the sight of that horrible bruise on your cheek. As his eyes roamed on your body, he then noticed some scratches on your forearms and his stomach dropped again for the thousand time that night. He’d never forgive himself for not being able to help you, for failing to realize sooner what was happening, allowing someone to hurt you, he was hating himself for not being there to protect you.

He decided not to wake you up and he leaned over you, gently stroking your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear that had fallen in front of your face. He kissed your forehead, taking an extra second to savor the moment, grateful to still being able to do it.

“I love you so much my baby,” he whispered, “Everything will be okay, I promise you.”

After telling Trudy to stay by your side and never leave you alone, he headed towards the hospital where the suspect was supposed to be, his blood boiling with anger, his hands shaking with the frenzy of being able to have that son in his hands.

The stalker, however, after seeing the cops coming, didn't hesitate for a second to run away. Jay chased after him, determined not to let him get away.

“Chicago PD! Stop now!” Jay shouted as he quickly descended the emergency stairs and followed the man, skipping a few steps at a time in an attempt to reach him first. The fact the man was injured went to his advantage as Jay took the opportunity to jump on his back, causing both of them to fall heavily to the ground.

Jay's vision immediately blurred with anger.

He punched him in the face, using all the strength he had in his body to hurt him. “Son of a bitch!” He exclaimed through clenched teeth, punching him again and again. He didn't care about anything, he didn't care about the consequences there could be. He just wanted to see him suffer, to see him writhe in pain and fear, just the way you did.

“You made a fucking mistake tonight,” Jay spat, standing up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up like a sack of potatoes before slamming him heavily against the wall. The man coughed, letting out sounds of pain even if Jay couldn't care less. “You'll wish you’d never met her when I'm done with you, you worthless piece of shit.”

He hit him in the face with another punch, not caring about the blood splattered on him after each blow.

He didn't even realize he wasn't alone anymore. Voight was there and watched the scene without batting an eyelid. He deserved it, he deserved everything Jay would do to him, not just for you but also for those poor women who weren’t lucky enough to survive. He knew there was no way to stop him, even if he wanted to, especially since you were involved.

Jay hit the man's head against the wall, then pushing him to the ground. He approached him and without any mercy and without even acknowledging the man's suffering, he kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck…” the man murmured weakly.

“Look at me you son of a bitch!” Jay cursed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt again and punching him in the face. “You thought it was fucking fun to hurt my fiancée?!”.

Another strong punch.

“Answer me!” He shouted, knowing he’d not receive a response.

Jay had completely lost control.

His mind was only picturing your wounded and tear-stained face, your terrified expression, your eyes full of tears, the bruises on your arm, on your face, the scratches, the way you hugged him so tightly because of the terror you felt, the fear you must have felt in those weeks.

“You thought you’d get away with it huh?! Making my future wife's life a fucking hell?!” He growled again, kicking this time the man’s face. “Making her scared of her own fucking shadow?!”.

Another kick in the stomach.

He was about to kill him and he didn’t give a fuck.

He bent over the man who was then barely breathing. “Did you like putting your useless dirty hands on my girl, huh?” he hissed as his foot stepped on one of the man’s hand with so much force until he heard his screams and his bones cracking.

He didn't move anymore, now unconscious and covered in his own blood.

Voight intervened at that point, not even knowing if he was alive or not. “That's okay Jay, calm down now.” He placed his hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from the unconscious man. Jay was breathing heavily, as if he had just run a marathon, his angry eyes still focused on the bastard lying on the ground.

“Now get away from here. Go out from the emergency exit and drive back to your fiancée, you were always there with her okay? I’m sure she needs you now.” Voight had ordered him but Jay didn't respond at first. “Halstead.”

At that point Jay focused his gaze on his boss and nodded feebly, casting one last glance at the stalker before walking away.

He wiped his face and hands with a handkerchief he had found in the car, trying to ignore the pain in his swelled hand, his knuckles red.

He never regretted what he did.

He had always condemned the brutal ways some cops used, like his own boss did sometimes, but in that moment he didn't stop to think about how he’d not hesitate even a second to do it again and make suffer anyone who’d hurt you.

When it came to you he’d lose his mind, his judgment clouded. You were the most important person in his life, the most precious of treasures, and he’d protect you with his own life if he could, if it meant keep you safe forever. It may have seemed an exaggeration, it may have seemed crazy, but he didn't care, God, he would’ve burn the entire city to the ground if it meant protecting you.

And as he drove to the district, eager to see you again, only one thought ran through his mind: how much he regretted not making that piece of shit suffer more.

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[adri-2022]

Promise

Fandom: Chicago PD

Characters: Jay Halstead x FemReader / Olivia "Liv" Halstead

Warnings: fluff/ platonic

Word count: 1745

Jay Halstead Materlist

A/N: Hello guys. So I’m not entirely in love with this, I’m sorry if it’s not that good and I'm sorry for being a little disconnected. As Olivia "Liv" Halstead is Maggie Elizabeth Jones. Hope everyone likes this original idea.

Don't be afraid to leave your comment!

----------

Being a kindergarten teacher had its perks. For once you worked with the young, creative minds and had the chance to potentially make a positive impact on them. But other times it really sucked, for example like a couple of hours ago.

You were in your classroom having lunch by yourself as usual. When one of your students Olivia came to you with a troubled expression. Obviously you thought the worst about it, call it instinct.

“Hi, miss Y/N” her sweet voice said as she took a seat in front of your desk. You smiled at her being met with a small one in return.

“Hello sunshine. Are you okay?” you asked immediately putting your lunch on pause and giving your full attention to her.

“I’m sad” she said casting her eyes down, this made you furrow your eyebrows

“Can I help you? We can talk about why you’re sad” you asked warily but gently giving her a sympathetic smile while you searched for her eyes

“I don’t want to make you upset miss Y/N” she said as she fiddled with her little hands.

Why would you be upset? But then again, Liv was probably the most selfless child you have ever met and obviously she would say something like this. Even in her short years of age she always thought of others first, she was a really empathic kid.

“Little miss Olivia. It’s alright to talk about feelings, they are valid, and you would never make me upset” you said in a serious manner as you nodded encouragingly

“Even if it’s sadness, Miss Y/N?” “Even if it’s sadness” you confirmed nodding

“I don’t have a mom for mother daughter day party” she said looking at you with big green doe eyes as if you held the answer to every question. But before you could say something, she continued.

“My daddy said my mom went to a place called heaven and that she watches over me” she said sighing as she crossed her arms over your desk placing her chin on top. At her words you sighed too

“My mom went to heaven too, when I was your age” you said lips tight as you tried to keep your emotions at bay

“Why?” she curiously asked, making you avert your gaze before looking back at her and mustering a smile

“That’s how life works. Sometimes heaven needs more people to help watch over us” you said taking a deep breath

But how could you explain the concept of death to a little girl. You were sure that her dad had done the absolute best at it. Although you had only briefly talked a couple of times between drop out and pick up, and at teacher parent conference day. Nevertheless never touching the topic about Olivia’s mother. Jay Halstead seemed like a really great father to this little girl and quite frankly you didn’t want to overstep. You were broken out of your thought as you heard a little sob,

“But I don’t want her there” Olivia said as her little voice broke slightly along with your soul.

“Oh Liv. I’m sorry. I promise you, it will be better, one day you’ll understand” you said as you reached her side. Kneeling to her height and caressing her head as you hugged her

That conversation going on in circles in your head as you waited patiently biting good mornings to each of your students and their mothers at the drop line. While there was another conversation taking place in a car, as the passenger was getting ready for the drop off at school.

“Liv I’m so sorry I can’t come to your get together” Jay said guiltily as he sighed looking at his daughter through the review mirror. He was heartbroken knowing he had hurt and possibly disappointed the only important person in his life.

“You promised you would come” Olivia sadly said as she blinked rapidly in order to not let the tears fall as she avoided her father’s gaze

“I know. I know baby. But I have to go chase bad guys remember” Jay said turning to look at her once he parked in the drop line. A pained expression took place on his face when he saw her little tears.

“Hey-” he started as he was about to reach for her hand, stopping

“I know…” she whispered disappointed brushing her tears away before Jay could see her, but of course he already had

Before Jay could muster a response the back door was opened, and Jay met your eyes. Big smile on your face as Olivia climbed out of the truck, hand in yours for support.

“Hello little miss Liv” you said enthusiastically but as a response Olivia mustered an unenthusiastic ‘hello’. You glanced at Jay again smiling sadly before Liv waved goodbye to her father still not meeting his eyes.

“Hi I’m sorry. She’s in a bit of a mood. I broke a promise” Jay said as sad eyes followed his daughters retrieving figure.

“No worries. I understand. I’ll look after her, she’ll have a good time, I promise” you said smiling,

“Thanks for that. Have a good day” Jay shared a smile as he shook his head before biting goodbyes

You both had a thing for each other, but neither had made a move upon it. You had always stayed professional for the sake of Olivia and so has he. There were always lingering looks at parent-teacher conferences, but they were ones of admiration. Add obviously the fact that you are his daughters teacher, so being in a relationship would stir up a lot of drama between the other parents including your superiors.

When you entered your classroom all of the mom’s were sitting with their kids already doing the activities and eating the snacks you had brought for the occasion. With the exception of Olivia, who was sitting at a little table all by herself and this stirred something inside you.

In the district Jay was struggling to concentrate and the guilt was eating him alive. The look and the tears that he saw on Olivia’s face hunting him relentlessly.

“Hey, didn’t you have little nugget’s mom-daughter thing today?” Kevin asked as he walked into the breakroom

“Don’t remind me. She’s gonna hate me” Jay said as he stirred his coffee

“Man. Don’t tell me you’re missing it” Kevin asked leaning besides Jay, being met with a hum in confirmation

“There will be more in the future, I just-” Jay was interrupted by the other detective

“Hell na, man. You go do what you gotta do” Kevin started looking at his friend like if he had grown two heads

“Kev-”

“Don’t let her down, bro. I’ll cover for you. Go” at this Jay looked at his friend trying to get his thoughts in place.

Kevin took a deep breath before taking ahold of Jay, dragging him into the bullpen and practically throwing Jay’s stuff in his arms before rushing him out to his truck.

“You go be a dad. I got your back” Kevin told Jay as the latter turned his truck on.

“Thanks, man, I’ll owe you big time” “Don’t worry about it, a beer at Molly’s can work for me”

Guiltily he thought of the brief conversation he had with Olivia and the mistake he would be committing if he didn’t make it. As he parked in the school he knew he wasn’t about to let his daughter be by herself, he wasn’t going to let her down.

Entering the classroom he looked over the heads and tables trying to identify his daughter. There she was on a table gluing something, but before he could move he saw you sitting beside her. Now noticing Liv’s laugh mixed with your own.

“So Liv, what’s your favorite color?” you asked as you colored the paper you had prepared for everyone, but Olivia didn’t respond. As you heard a gasp leave her mouth your head snapped up to her face following her eyesight to the door.

“He came, miss Y/N” Hazel excitedly said before leaping to her feet and running into her father’s awaiting arms, the latter picking her up kissing her cheek

“Hey baby!” Jay said with a smile on his face, as he saw how Olivia beamed happily

“Daddy you came” “Of course, I made a promise remember” he said matching her excitement.

At the same time he walked to the table Olivia was occupying as you stood up looking at them with a shy smile. When they reached the table Liv sat down explaining to her dad what she was doing, to which he nodded smiling with excitement. You took that as your signal to go back to your desk,

“Hey, uh, Miss Y/N” Jay said as he walked over to where you had stopped and turned to him

“Just Y/N it’s fine” you waved him off with a kind smile

“…Y/N-”

“I’m sorry for intruding-” “It’s-”

“She told about her mom; thought I could help” you rambled with a remorse expression waiting as you felt a hand being placed on your shoulder

“Take a deep breath” Jay said as he chuckled, to which you scratched the back of your neck nervously

“Thank you, you didn’t have to- but you did, and I really appreciate it” he said smiling sadly as you both looked back towards Olivia, before you shook your head again

“She’s a great girl, really smart” you said smiling slightly as you returned Olivia’s wave

“Yeah she is. That’s all her” he answered turning back to look at you

“I deeply apologize, the school should really mind what they write. If it was up to me it should be parent-child day” you said as you tilted your head, before Jay could answer another voice interrupted

“Dad. Can miss Y/N sit with us? She was going to braid my hair next” Liv said excitedly as she looked up to Jay

“Sure. If she’s not too busy, remember she has adult responsibilities” he answered looking down at Liv’s big eyes

“She’s not! She can teach you how to braid my hair, dad” Olivia answered. You bit your lips trying to fight the laugh that was trying to surface when you watched Jay’s mouth hanging

“Damn, why do you have to wound me like that, pumpkin” Jay said looking at you to see if you had heard. Shaking his head as you placed a hand over your mouth chuckling.

#jay halstead x reader #chicago pd imagines #jay halstead #jay halstead fluff #jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #fan fiction #one chicago fic #jay halstead angst #jay halstead x daughter

[sayafics]

Just For A Moment - Part 6

I am feeling emotional, so what better way to channel it than angsty angst </3

I thought I'd do part 6 with a bit of insight on Hailey's emotions, and give a bit more context of that night.

TW: (slight) dub-con? (Depends how you would read the scenario), angst, mentions of cheating

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Masterlist

Jay had caught Hailey's eye from the first moment she had seen him. Her eyes followed his every move and traced over every freckle. So when she was able to build a tentative friendship with the man, she had reluctantly allowed hope to build in the pit of her heart praying something would happen.

But it wouldn't. Or at least, it couldn't.

Not when his heart was already held in the hands of another.

Hailey's heart beat for Jay, but his heart belonged to another, and his heart sang for the same girl Hailey found herself growing envious towards as the day passed.

Aurora looked nothing like her - dark hair, free-flowing curls, tanned skin, a bright smile, and glowing eyes. Aurora was everything she wasn't, everything she couldn't be, and that's why Hailey wasn't surprised to learn that Aurora had gotten to him before she ever had the chance.

Still, she told herself it was platonic - the friendship she shared with Jay. An innocent friendship she hid her longing behind, accepting every friendly pat or cheery grin with a perfectly placed mask of contentment.

She would take what he would give.

She had taken what he gave. She had taken, and taken, and taken. Until she could no longer do it.

Maybe it was because she had one too many drinks, or because the last case had hit her in a vulnerable place she had long forgotten about - or maybe she was just cruel and selfish, and had to have whatever it was she wanted.

Hailey had never been selfish, never had the chance to be. So what would be the harm if she was selfish just this once.

That was what she had told herself when he trudged towards Jay's apartment that night. Feigning panic and using the heartache she had felt for so many months - seeing Jay in the arms of another woman - as a mask to convince him. To convince him she needed him. She needs him.

She had cried in his arms, she asked him to hold her - begged. And he had. He was a good friend.

But she didn't want that, she wanted more.

When she risked a glance at him, his eyes glassy and unfocused despite his best attempts to do so, she took her chance. A light kiss, her lips barely brushing against his own as she held her breath.

She pulled back, surveying his expression and waiting.

Waiting.

Jay sat frozen, shoulders rigid as his brows furrowed in confusion. But he hadn't said to stop.

She kissed him again, harder. She poured every ounce of longing, every ache, every envious chill, every inch of passion and love her body held and fed it into him, hoping he would accept her.

He would mumble against her lips, whispers filled with confusion and desperation melded with pleads of a woman's name that was not her own.

"It's me, Jay. I'm here, your Hailey's here."

The words seemed to have sobered him up, looking up at her as though he was seeing someone completely new. Jay tried to blink through the confusion, but the peppered kisses and light brushes felt good against his burning skin, the coos of praises and promises echoed through his clouded mind.

He wants this. He does, right?

He wants this, she said he does.

So he gave in - gave in so easily that he still lives with the shame of doing so. He lives with the guilt of giving in without a second glance, of not trying to stop, of not trying to move away, of not trying.

Hailey could see it on his face every day afterwards - the way he would flinch at her every touch, the way he would lean away from her when he thought she wouldn't notice, how he replied to her texts slower until he stopped completely.

She had told him it was a mistake, that it would stay between them, and they would move on and be friends.

Jay had accepted, but he knew there was a part of him broken by the night he betrayed Aurora. But the fear of her finding out was far worse than having to stay friends with Hailey, hoping she never confessed to their guilty actions.

Hailey had spoken her words, knowing she didn't believe a single one - she hoped, with every day that passed, Jay would come to her and need her. Ask for her. Beg for her.

That day never came, and when Aurora came back to Chicago Hailey knew it never would.

Perhaps that was why she couldn't find it in herself to be angry as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.

Hailey had been to Jay's apartment every night after Aurora had returned, knocking and calling out to him. When she was inevitably ignored, she would ring and call him, pleading with him to see sense and come back to work, or to at least talk to her.

Three days had gone by, and the team was almost ready to execute the undercover operation with Aurora, when she would assume her new identity later tonight.

And it was on this night that Jay had returned.

***

Aurora was in the locker room with Kim, someone who used to be close friends with Hailey but had distanced herself and become quieter after the Aurora had left.

Hailey knew she had destroyed something precious in the group, had forced them to lose another team mate - another friend, another part of their family.

But why was she not enough?

She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of ascending footsteps, slow and heavy thuds that had become such a familiar sound she turned her head towards the stairs instinctively.

There he stood, a man broken by the consequences of his own actions, eyes tired and face blank as his eyes scanned over the room. His gaze was fleeting as it crossed her figure that was hunched over the desk - paperwork laid astray in a frantic manner.

She felt a stab of disappointment at the action.

Even when she was there, right in front of him, right under his nose. Jay didn't see her. He wouldn't. Because he didn't want to.

But why not? Why was she not enough for him?

Voight stepped out of his office before she could say a word, before she could pour out all the words running through her mind in tumultuous waves, disregarding any shame or fear.

"Jay," his voice, though gravelly, was dipped in a soothing tinge of relief, "it's good to have you back"

Still, they pasted on a smile, hiding the strain in their eyes as they imagined the possible scenarios that could unfold. They made their way towards Jay, exchanging supportive hugs and firm pats on the shoulder - they would be there for him, in whichever way he let them. In any way they could.

His words finally prompted Adam and Kevin to turn his way, shock tugging at their features as they regarded him with wide eyes - knowing the girl he was pining over was not even a door away from him.

"Welcome back, man. Wasn't the same without you."

Kevin's statement was true, but the words only brought a tense smile on Jay's face - the office wasn't the same without her.

And she only left because of him.

His mouth opened, ready to spew words of appeasement or acknowledgement. Hailey wasn't sure, but she watched with intense eyes as she, for once, sat back and didn't approach the man she was head over heels in love with.

There was a crack of a word - the starting of a, no doubt, very short sentence. And Hailey found herself sweltering in frustration and anxiety when it was cut off by the sound of heels lightly tapping against the floor.

Aurora.

Hailey sat up straighter, eyes flickering between Aurora's oblivious form as she approached a wound-up Jay. Kim was trailing behind her, a nervous smile on her face as she tried to keep up their tentative conversation.

But it didn't matter because when Aurora stepped out into the office, she had all but stopped mid-sentence herself. A look of bafflement spread across her face, and a similar expression began pulling across Jay's, except his was tainted my rivulets of regret and guilt.

Jay stepped back as though her presence was a physical hit against him, and Aurora's face shuttered as she drew in a sharp breath.

It was like they were trapped in their own bubble, oblivious to all those around them as they stared at each other for the first time in months.

Hailey could admit, Aurora looked good. Great even.

Always beautiful, ever graceful, and a heart full of passion that she carried everywhere she went.

Unlike Jay, Aurora didn't carry her sadness out in the open for all to see. It was hidden in a part so deep and dark, she hoped it would never escape.

But Jay, he couldn't think of anything worse than the night Aurora had left him crying and broken. So he wore his agony out for all to see, a show of his remorse and a sign of his undying devotion to do what he must to make things right.

Seconds pass, or perhaps it was minutes.

It was Jay who broke first, a revelation that had Hailey look down at her desk, feigning signatures as her eyes burned and her cheeks became heated with embarassment and fury.

Jay couldn't help it, seeing her standing there. She looked so real. So true. As though, finally, she was more than an alcohol-induced dream, a hallucination, an echo just out of grasp.

Her hair was let out, flowing down her back in soft curls as she wore a long black gown with a slit at each leg. The gown cinched at her waist, and the neck was low and deep. Around her neck sat a gold necklace, and a feeling of deja vu washed over Jay at the sight of it.

She looked beautiful, like she deserved to have her every step treasured. She deserved devotion and adoration, love and kindness, loyalty and undying passion.

Longing began to fester in the base of his throat, a feeling so familiar that he swallowed through it with perfect ease.

"Aurora."

Jay hadn't called her that in so long, always Rory. Just Rory.

But hearing her name on his lips, after so long. It broke the cage she had locked that frail and trampled part of her soul into, it tugged at her heart and ripped at her throat.

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at the man in front of her.

He wore his sadness with open arms.

Jay had lost weight - though still muscular and fit, he was not the same man she had left all those months ago. His eyes were weighed down by purple bags, the whites of his eyes tainted by the red of no sleep, a permanent scruff etched across his face, and clothes that were too rumpled for her to believe he had even changed before he came in today.

Surprisingly, Jay was just as broken as she was. Only Jay couldn't hide it.

There was a part of her that was furious at that - Jay had hurt her, and yet here he was breaking into tears as though he deserved her sympathy.

On the other hand, there was a part of her, so loving and so knowing, that simmered with relief at the sight of his anguish.

Jay missed her, he needed her. He said she was enough, perhaps he really did mean it.

Or perhaps his words were fuelled by the heavy load of a guilty man.

The thought was enough to snap her out from the longing, which scratched at her soul - begging and pleading to give in. Instead, she blinked, a passive look painted across her face. A flawless mask finished with a rigid smile. She nodded at Jay, forcing her hands not to tremble at the crestfallen look on his face.

Jay took a step forward, as though he was trying to prove to her he existed. As though he took her silence as a sign she hadn't seen him, and he wanted her to.

Needed her to.

But Aurora stepped back with a flinch, eyes flickering with pooling tears as she forced back her pain and tried to remain formal. She reached into her training, pulling at every strand and every inch of stoicism she could find within her body to present an unfazed facade as she turned towards Voight.

"I'm ready."

"Ready? Ready for what?"

Jay's voice was laced with incredulity, his head spinning at the fact that Aurora was here. She was here right in front of him.

But just like those few weeks so many months ago, she had barely acknowledged him.

Jay wanted to feel seen, but the only person who had ever made him feel so was now ignoring him.

Hailey was like a friend to him. He found camraderie in her presence, recognition in her touch. They faced similar struggles, similar lives. It was like looking into a reflection of some sort, seeing himself just as determined and strong on the other side.

But what life could a person live with their own reflection.

Such a life would be lonely and draining, boring and idle.

Aurora was the woman who had captured his heart, stolen his breath, and tied herself with his soul. She was a breath of fresh air, a source of comfort and warmth. She was a listening ear and loving companion. She balanced him out, smoothed out his edges, and evened out his temper.

He found mutual respect and care in his friendship to Hailey, but he found that and so much more in Aurora. In Aurora, he found the woman who gave him purpose - a brightly lit candle, a roaring flame, and a gentle guide out of the darkness that clouded his mind, the horrors that painted his past.

And here she was, standing in front of him. A dream just out of reach.

Was she back in Chicago permanently? Had she rejoined Intelligence? Was she here because of him? Or was it because of the guy at the bar?

The thoughts raced across his mind so fast Jay's eyes began to flicker over every object within his vicinity as he tried to sort through them.

Aurora is back.

She's back.

Seeing Jay's eyes shine with reverence, they were glossy in the light with unshed tears. Even in his state of confusion, he couldn't hide his adoration and couldn't hide his devotion.

Hailey felt her throat burn with nausea - how could she have been so blind.

#jay halstead x you #jay halstead x oc #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead angst #jay halstead #chicago med #chicago one #chicago #chicago fire #chicago pd #hailey upton #jay halstead x hailey upton #hank voight #kim burgess #kevin atwater

[manhandlememando]

The Alcott Ch. 1

Chapter 1: Look After You

jay halstead x f!reader, frank castle x f!reader

chicago pd x the punisher crossover

tw: violence and blood mentioned, a broken hand, jay being extremely pissed off (that needs its own warning)

series is ongoing

It was as if she was watching a train crash, it happened so fast and so horrifically and yet she couldn’t look away. A hooded man stood over a body, holding the tire iron he had just taken to it. He was breathing heavily, his shoulders moving with every inhale, his adrenaline racing through his veins so much so he hadn’t heard the young woman when she stumbled upon him in the alley. However he did hear the cock of a gun and a safety switch releasing, and slowly turned with his hands raised.

Tilting his head to the side at the sight, her trembling form holding the gun with both arms outstretched in front of her. It was obvious she had never used it, he could tell by her body language she seemed more scared than he was.

“S-stop! You’ll kill him!” She exclaims, shaking hands still pointing the outstretched gun in his direction. Before she can make a move to do anything he quickly stalks towards her and without hesitation he disarms her, wrapping his large arms around her waist as he braces her back to his chest. But before she could scream an expansive hand covered her mouth as the assailant dragged her deeper into the alley.

“Shh, shh, shh, shh,” he coos in her ear, his voice so soft it was as if he was trying to settle an infant from fussing.

“Ain’t gonna hurt ya, ‘m not gonna hurt ya darlin’” he assured her, and although his voice was gentle she could feel the still-warm blood on his hands from the man lying on the ground before them.

“I swear I won’t hurt ya, but if I let go will you scream?” He asked timidly in her ear, still holding a hand over her mouth. She shook her head “no” slowly and as she did he released her from his grasp. Without a second thought she spins around and lands a heavy fist onto the man’s left cheekbone. The CRACK of her hand against his face could have been heard from yards away, it throbbed but she didn’t care. It gave her enough time to run.

She ran, and ran, and ran. When she finally stopped her feet from moving, she realized she didn’t know what street she was on, or where in Chicago she was at all. She reaches for her phone and dials the number of the one person she knew would take her call at this hour. As the phone rang she gathered her bearings, catching her breath and peering down at herself to discover that she was covered in blood. Although it wasn’t hers, the man who grabbed her must have left the stains on her clothes from his other victim of the night.

“Hello?” Kim answers, the ghost of a laugh still hanging on her tone. But the second she starts speaking Kim knows something is terribly wrong.

“Kim… um, I need help.” Is all she can manage before her voice begins to betray her, wobbling on the tail end of the short sentence.

“Okay, what’s going on? Where are you?” Kim says, her tone changing to one of a more serious nature.

“I don’t even know, but… I got attacked. I managed to get away but I don’t know where I am,” she says, the adrenaline wearing off as tears sprang from her eyes.

“Oh my God, attacked? Are you okay? Send me your location I’m on my way,” Kim rails off, her concern for her friend growing by the second. She could hear the others in the background of the call, Kim must have still been at Mollys Bar. She could hear Kevin’s voice trying to get information out of Kim as to what was going on. “Call Jay,” was all she heard Kim respond with.

“You’re a couple miles out, I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Kim speaks very matter-of-fact after seeing her friends location pin appear on the map she had pulled up on her phone.

It was a cold night in Chicago, as most nights were. Standing there waiting for Kim she began to involuntarily shiver, her teeth beginning to chatter as each minute passed by. She hears the cars engine before she sees it, Kim pulling up on the curb a second later and jumping out of the car before it even stops moving.

“Oh Jesus! What the hell happened!” Kim shouted as she took in the sight of her friend covered in blood stains. Moving to check her for injuries, Kim’s eyebrows knit into one another as she realizes that she can’t find any external injuries other than a swollen hand.

“It’s not mine,” the young woman whispers. “He didn’t hurt me, he wouldn’t,” she continues. Kim is even more confused now, so many questions wanting to spill from the tip of her tongue. But looking into her friends eyes she could see that she wouldn’t receive any answer that would suffice right now.

“Okay, okay we’re gonna get you to Med, yeah?” Kim said as she circled an arm around her friends shoulder and guided her into the front seat of the car.

—————————————

“WHERE IS SHE?!” Jay’s voice bellowed throughout the emergency room, getting the attention of the older Halstead brother.

“Jay, she’s okay. She’s got a fractured hand but she’s alright. Take a breath, she’s okay,” Dr. Will Halstead said as he approached his aggravated younger brother. Jay was practically shaking with anger, having just ripped through the streets of Chicago at the news that his girlfriend had been attacked on her walk home. He should have been with her, he shouldn’t have left her alone tonight. His mind wound itself into knots at the thought that she had been hurt, or worse, and he wasn’t there to stop it.

“I have to see her,” Jay said earnestly, wanting nothing more than to confirm her condition for himself.

“She’s being questioned by detectives right now, she’ll be available to talk afterwards,” Jay hears a familiar voice respond from behind him, turning to see that Sergeant Voight was the one who had spoken. “Jay, I’m going to need you to hang back on this one,” Voight said as he placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“Absolutely not Sarge, I won’t let that ANIM- ,” Jay begins to yell but Voight silently raises a hand in response, signaling Jay to stop abruptly in the middle of his very loud sentence.

“Jay this isn’t up for discussion, you’re obviously upset and you have every right to be. But you’re not in the right headspace to be involved in this investigation,” Voight explains, only making Jay angrier.

“What kind of investigation?” Jay questions, not knowing much about what happened.

“A murder,” Voight responds shortly.

“What? Who? I don’t understand, they said she was fine I- ,” Jay starts in.

“She is fine, but she did witness a murder. However she can’t I.D. the suspect so if we need her moving forward for anything, I’ll let you know,” Voight cuts Jay off for the second time and Jay did not take kindly to being put on the bench.

“Fine, but I want five minutes,” Jay growls under his breath, knowing that Voight would understand that request: five minutes alone in a room with the assailant, no cameras and absolutely no laws.

“Deal,” Voight responded flatly, nodding once to solidify the agreement between them.

Jays rage boiled as his anxiety ate away at him. In truth he hated anxiety, it made him feel helpless and in turn that pissed him off. There was nothing Jay hated more than feeling helpless, especially when it comes to the woman he loves. Sitting there waiting to see her was excruciating, even though others had assured him she was okay, he still couldn’t stifle this feeling chewing away at the corner of his mind.

“She’s ready for you,” a nurse says as she stops in front of Jay, pulling him away from his thoughts. He stands abruptly and follows the nurse to her room. Upon seeing her sitting in the hospital bed, her knees at her chest and a bandage on her wrist, a pang shot through his chest; she just looked so small.

“Hey baby,” he said softly as he stepped in the room, her head snapped towards the doorway and she sprang from her position on the bed when she saw it was him. She collided with his frame, clutching onto him for dear life.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I got you,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her, one hand going to cradle the back of her head. He dips lower to nuzzle the junction between her jaw and neck, then moving up to kiss her temple. He holds her there just for a second to breathe her in and finally feel at peace for the first time within the last hour. Pulling away he cups both of her cheeks, looking into the eyes of the one thing he couldn’t live without. For a moment he thought he’d lost her, getting that call from Kim in the early hours of the morning and the first thing he heard being “You need to get to Med immediately, I’m here with your girlfriend and -,” but he never let Kim finish her sentence. His adrenaline made it hard to think clearly as the worst possible scenarios kept coming to him.

“Baby what happened?” Jay spoke softly as he led them to sit back down on the hospital bed.

“I don’t know, it all happened so fast. I left the bar and was walking back to the apartment when all of a sudden I heard this noise.” She paused as a grimace adorned her face. “He was killing him Jay, right in front of me! I didn’t know what to do so I took out the gun you gave me. I told him to stop and…” she trails off as the feeling of the warm blood on her face crawls back into the forefront of her memory. Jays face morphed into one of panic as his imagination filled in the blank space she had left in the ever thickening air.

“Baby, did he hurt you? Did he…?” Jay asks hesitantly, his hands shaking as he held each of her shoulders so she was square in front of him.

“No, no. He actually said he wouldn’t,” she responded, this notion still puzzled her. Jay looked almost exactly how she felt; utterly confused. He was relieved of course but he didn’t understand how she had been caught in the middle of such a dangerous situation and left without a scratch, other than her hand.

Her hand, Jay thought suddenly. Looking down from where he was holding her gaze and his eyes land on the bandaged appendage.

“What’s this then?” Jay questions, an eyebrow raising as he motioned to her broken hand.

“I punched him and ran as fast as I could,” she responded, a small smile appearing on her face. “Just like you taught me,” she finished.

“That’s my girl,” Jay smirked, “God, honey you had me so worried,” he sighed as he brought her into another embrace. “I’m gonna get us home and then it’ll be like this never happened. Everything will be okay baby, you’re safe now,” Jay assured her as he ran a hand soothingly down her back.

I’ll kill whoever put her through this, the thought raced through Jay’s head, along with many others. He couldn’t calm down and what worried him most was he didn’t know why. The initial reassurance of seeing her for himself had faded and the anxiety that he felt from before had returned. But why?

——————————————

Why did I lie? She thought to herself.

She had never felt more confused in her life. This entire situation didn’t seem possible, how was it that she of all people had stumbled upon two dead men, but with one’s heart still beating? It was true, she had witnessed a murder. But the man she saw committing it should have been dead as well. She knew this because she had reported on his death during her time as a reporter for a local New York City news station.

He was supposed to be dead, she thought. She had lied to the detectives who questioned her on the crime she witnessed, telling them she hadn’t seen the assailants face, but she had. She caught a glimpse of his face when he was walking towards her, that striking mugshot had been burned into her mind, she would have known it anywhere. It was his eyes, she couldn’t read them. As if she was staring into waters so deep she couldn’t tell where the surface began. He had known things, he had done things. But why didn’t he hurt her?

That’s why she lied. There were too many questions to try to answer at the present moment, all she wanted was to return home and crawl into bed with the man she loved. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep this itch at bay. She had to know for herself, she had to know; why in the hell Frank Castle was alive and well in Chicago?

#jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #jay halstead x reader #chicago pd crossover #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead angst #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher fanfiction #frank castle fanfiction

[americaswritings]

When we fall | Part 2

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst, description of injuries, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 4.5k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: Here's the second part :) I hope you enjoy!

Part 1

“Who got you smiling like that?”

You looked up from your phone, startled by the voice behind you. It was April, trying to glance over your shoulder to sneak a look at your phone screen. You immediately locked it, slipping it back into your pocket.

“No one”, you blurted out, biting your tongue. “I mean- just…someone.”

“No one or someone?” April wiggled her brows at you, her eyes shining with excitement. “I thought you said you didn’t want to date for a while.”

You let out a sigh. “I don’t”, you agreed, causing her to tilt her head at you in confusion. “But now there’s this guy-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence, interrupted by April’s squeal. “Oh god! Calm down!” You gazed around nervously, relieved to find neither Will nor your brother in sight.

“I don’t even really know him.” You feared if April got too excited over the news she had just gotten out of you, she would share them with Maggie. Probably the whole nursing staff too. And if there was one true thing to be said about hospitals, it was that nurses made the biggest gossips.

“But you like him.” It was a statement rather than a question, but still you thought over her words. April was right. You did like Jay. A lot.

He was funny, witty and sarcastic. Always quick with his remarks. Confident. But not in a macho kind of way, but more so that he knew who he was and what he wanted and that he didn’t fear speaking the truth.

And he was charming, if he wanted to be. A big flirt, but in a way that you could never be sure if he was just teasing you or if he meant what he said.

And he was brave. Courageous. He hadn’t given you many insight into that part of his life yet, but from the hints you had gotten you were fascinated by his drive as a detective.

Not to mention he was handsome. Unfairly so. Especially in that leather jacket you had seen him wear, although just a plain t-shirt was enough to show off his arms and- depending on the colour- bring out his eyes.

“Oh god what am I doing!” You let out a groan as the severity of your situation sank in. You were crushing on Jay Halstead, your colleague’s brother. A man you barely knew except a moment of eye-contact at a bar, a brief encounter at the hospital and a conversation outside said bar.

While the two of you had talked the whole way as he had driven you back to your apartment- your head spinning with the fact that he knew where you lived now- it had been mostly about unimportant things. What kind of sports team he liked, what the best food places in Chicago were, how cold it was supposed to turn at the end of the week.

But it had made you feel relaxed and even interested to get more hints into who this man beside you was. You had even been disappointed when you had recognized your apartment building, the exhaustion you had felt wearing off with him around.

Right before the two of you had parted ways Jay had stopped you, insisting on giving you his number. “In case you need another ride”, he had said with a wink.

That same night you had started texting, when you had thanked him for the ride home and you two had kept the conversation steady ever since. You even knew his break times by heart now, a smile stealing its way on your lips whenever you saw a new message from him.

Was it possible you were developing a crush for this man you barely knew?

“This won’t ever work out- I shouldn’t-” “Hey, take a breath.” April had stepped closer towards you, her brows drawn together in concern. “He makes you happy. It’s obvious. Don’t blow this off, because you’re scared what the future might bring.”

You swallowed, but you followed April’s words and took a deep inhale. “I just-”, you shook your head, the fear of the realization that had just dawned on you making your chest tight, “I can’t get hurt again. I just started a life here and I- I can’t.”

You blew out a breath, closing your eyes for a moment to collect yourself. “I’m not ready to get my heart broken again.”

April looked at you, empathy in her eyes. For a moment she didn’t say anything, the words hanging heavy in the air between you. Then she reached out, her hand covering yours. “No one ever is. But don’t jump to all the worst-case scenarios. What if it’s good? And it’s good now, isn’t it?”

You bit your lip, nodding hesitantly. There was no denying it; texting with Jay had become the highlight of your day.

“Then that’s all that matters now.” You nodded again, a shy smile forming on your lips. “Thank you, April.”

The dark-haired woman smiled at you in return, her eyes filled with a warmth you were sure made her patients feel reassured around her. “Always. But don’t think you can keep your secret long. I’m going to find out who that man is that makes you all lovey-dovey.”

-

“Hey!”

You almost jumped out of your skin, turning your head to see a silhouette pushing of the wall next to the hospital’s doors. You squinted your eyes, trying to determine who it was, waiting for you in the dark.

“Jesus”, you whispered, shaking your head as a relieved chuckle escaped you once the man stepped into the light. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Your heart was racing in your chest and you took a breath to calm it down, the shock slowly vanishing. Jay grinned, his dark clothes doing nothing to elevate him from the darkness.

“Sorry”, he said, stepping further into the light, “I didn’t realize you were zoned out like that.”

“Just thinking”, you muttered, straightening a little. “What are you doing here?”

“I was around here so I figured I would stop by after your shift.” You smiled, feeling warmth spread in your body that Jay had decided to come and see you.

“Are you off work too?”, you asked, your eyes drifting to the badge on his belt. You tried not to stare at the gun that was tugged beside it. Although it was covered by his shirt you could make out the outlines.

Your eyes flickered up again, feeling a little caught as you noticed Jay’s eyes on you. He looked so awake, so attentive, not how you felt after a long day in the ER.

“I’m not. Actually, Burgess is in the car waiting for me, so I should head back soon.” Your brows drew together, confused that Jay had still come to see you, even if he didn’t have much time. It was so unexpected and sweet that you felt a little overwhelmed trying to sort your thoughts.

“Kim’s waiting for you?” You were still having a hard time learning everyone’s names and faces, but you had seen her around the hospital. From what you could tell she seemed very nice. And stubborn, if necessary.

Jay followed your glance over his shoulder, where you could make out a parked black car in the distance. “Don’t worry about her.” He turned back to you. “She owes me a favour. She won’t tell.”

You didn’t know when you had decided to keep whatever was going on between Jay and you a secret, but you were glad he seemed to sense your hesitance of people knowing and respected it. Eventually you wouldn’t be able to keep it to yourselves anymore, you knew that, but for now you wanted this to be just between you and Jay.

Figure out whatever it was and what it could lead into before hearing everyone’s opinions. Especially Willy’s and Connor’s. The thought of one of them knowing was enough to send a shiver down your spine. “A favour?”

Jay shifted. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, I’ve got time, but I suppose you should get back. We don’t want to risk anything.” You almost sighed out loud, wishing for more time. But you knew Jay was as committed to his job as you were to yours and you didn’t want him to get in trouble.

“Right”, Jay muttered, but he didn’t move, his eyes on yours. You shifted, unsure what he was expecting you to do or say. “Well-”, you let out a nervous laugh, “why did you even come? I mean, if you don’t really have time.”

It wasn’t an accusation, only curiosity speaking. Jay’s lips curled up in an almost boyish way and he rubbed the base of his neck. “We haven’t talked about that date again”, he began and the words alone made your heart speed up. “I didn’t want to push you, so I thought I would ask you in person. And I just wanted to see you.”

Your heart swelled with fondness as you stared at Jay, his usual confident and casual demeanour replaced by what looked like uncertainty and maybe even nervousness as well.

“I came to Chicago to start over. And there are still some things I need to figure out.” You kept your voice calm and steady as you explained, hoping he couldn’t see how much strength it took you to open up. “It wouldn’t be fair to keep that from you.”

Jay waited, his face giving nothing away as he looked at you. Casting your gaze downwards you fiddled with your hands for a moment. “I don’t wanna screw this up.”

Slowly you lifted your head again, every fear you had thought of returning to you. What if you had scared him of? What if you were interpreting too much into this and Jay was only looking for some fun? What if you had already screwed this up?

His green eyes flickered between yours as you searched his face, trying to find hints to what he was feeling. Thinking.

“I don’t either”, he said seriously, clearing his throat. “Let’s just give it a try. Just one date, see how it goes from there.”

You looked at him, waiting for him to add something, but he didn’t, keeping the suggestion simple and undemanding.

“Okay.”

His jaw relaxed, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah?” You nodded, smiling yourself now. “Yeah. One date. Let’s do it.”

Jay broke into a grin, the sight enough to reassure you it had been the right choice. “I knew you would say yes”, he stated and you shook your head at him. “You’re persistent, Halstead.”

Tugging his hands into the pockets of his jacket Jay shrugged. “Comes with the job.”

Then he raised his phone. “I’m gonna text you.” You stared after him until the darkness had absorbed him, your heart pounding in your chest. But this time it wasn’t because you were scared or overwhelmed.

You would be going on a date with Jay Halstead.

This time, it was excitement.

-

Jay was taking you out Friday night.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t counting the days in your head, eager but also slightly nervous to meet him. Your encounters had been cut short until now, limited by either his or your work schedule.

Did he expect you to dress up or did he prefer a casual look? You wished you had someone you could ask about it, but you couldn’t tell anyone. Not yet.

In the end you decided it wouldn’t matter what choice you made. This wasn’t just about him, it was about you too and you wouldn’t make the mistake of changing who you were for someone ever again.

Still your thoughts were circling the upcoming date, so when Connor nudged you with his elbow to gain your attention, he wasn’t the first one to pull you out of your head that week.

“What are you thinking about?” You blinked yourself back to reality, closing the folder in front of you, which you had been bent over before your brother’s approach.

You didn’t see him much at the hospital, since he spend most of his time in the OR, but whenever your schedules aligned, he offered you a ride and you would spend the time in the car discussing your cases.

“Just how I barely see you these days.” Connor rose his brow. “What, you miss me?”, he asked amused and you shrugged, being serious. “What if I do?”

Living so far away from each other had meant you had barely seen Connor. Now that you had moved to Chicago the two of you had gotten to know each other much better and you had grown used to his presence, only recently moved out of his apartment and into your own.

Connor stared at you, obviously trying to determine whether you were making fun of him or being genuine. When you didn’t say anything, a sad smile appeared on his lips. “You’re right. I’m too busy these days. It’s just- everyone keeps asking me to do this and then that and-.”

“Hey,” you took a step forward, a smile on your lips as you nudged his shoulder. “I get it. You’re very popular here. No reason to get such a big head.” You were joking and Connor let out a breath, shaking his head in amusement. “You know that’s not what I was saying.”

“But it was what you were thinking”, you stated, enjoying it to mess with him. Connor’s face twisted unhappily and you almost giggled at the sight of it. A moment later his expression shifted, replaced by a mask of confidence. “Well, not everyone can be an amazing trauma and cardiothoracic surgeon.”

Now it was your turn to grimace and you scrunched up your nose. “Is that what you’re like when I’m not around? Because people kept telling me how strict and focused you always are that I almost ruined your rep.”

Connor smirked, before his expression turned serious again. “You are right though. You came to Chicago and I haven’t been around the past weeks. It’s not fair.”

You shook your head, your own amusement gone now too. “You don’t owe me anything. You already did so much for me and you know how grateful I am.”

“Dr. (Y/l/n)?” You looked up to where you saw Maggie calling your name. “Coming!” Turning back to Connor you sighed. “That’s my turn. How about you text me when you’re free and I cook for us? Because let’s be real your nutrition probably comes from the vending machine and the hospital’s menu these days and we both know neither is real food.”

Connor let out a laugh. “Doesn’t taste much different from what you cook”, he muttered, which earned him a jab to his shoulder from you. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that”, you whispered as you took off, pretending to be offended by his joke. “You’re going to have to make up for it with a lot of ice-cream.”

“And you talk to me about real food”, you heard his voice before you reached Maggie.

-

It was only Thursday afternoon when you saw Jay again, his casual stance something you immediately recognized as you rounded the corner. He wasn’t alone, a brown haired woman, which you figured could only be Kim Burgess next to him as well as an older man with hair almost cut down to the scalp.

He looked grim, his arms crossed over his chest as he talked to Ethan, who seemed just as tense and unamused.

It would be better not to interfere you thought as you watched them, but then you caught Ethan’s eyes for a moment and you knew it was only right to join him to try and solve the obvious tension.

Straightening yourself you marched up to them, forcing a neutral smile on your lips. “Hey, I’m doctor (y/l/n). Is there something I can help with?” You glanced between the older man and Ethan, waiting for one of them to acknowledge you.

From the side you could feel Jay’s eyes boring into you, but you tried to avoid his gaze, fearing you would give away how well you knew him, if you allowed yourself a look.

For a moment none of them said anything, until slowly the man’s eyes shifted towards you. It felt like you shrank under his gaze. It was cold and unapologetic, his icy blue eyes mustering you appraisingly. You didn’t know who this man was, but if you had to take a guess you would assume him to be Jay’s boss. The famous Voight.

Jay hadn’t talked much about him, always keeping his words vague, but it was clear the man in front of you wasn’t someone to mess with.

“We’re here to talk to one of your patients, Mr. Diaz. He’s a suspect and he might have valuable information for us.”

His voice was as cold as his gaze, sounding raspy as if he was hoarse from yelling too much. You didn’t want to imagine this man ever screaming at you.

Your gaze flickered to Ethan, silently asking him for his position on the matter. “And I already told you that’s not happening. The man’s straight out of surgery. We wake him now we risk a number of conditions such as brain damage and stroke. You’re going to need to wait.”

“I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.” Voight- it definitely had to be him- took a step closer, his voice threatening. A shocked breath escaped you as you watched the tension thicken, Ethan’s eyes narrowing.

“I know exactly who I’m talking to. But this is my case, my patient and my responsibility. We’re at the hospital, not the police station so it’s my call.”

Finally your eyes travelled to Kim and Jay, their faces both masks of conflict. Having felt your gaze Jay’s eyes shifted to yours, his expression softening when he saw the hint of fear on yours.

“How about we all calm down for a moment”, he said sternly, stepping between Voight and Ethan. You held your breath, admiring him for his courage but at the same time fearing the consequences it might meant for him. You didn’t want to imagine what Voight’s anger might look like.

“We all want the same thing.” Turning to Ethan he asked, “How long is it going to be until you can wake him up?”

Ethan stayed silent for a moment before he broke his stare with Voight and looked at Jay. “3 to 4 hours, depending on his labs. It was an invasive surgery.” Jay nodded. “Then we wait 3. If he’s not awake then, you will wake him.”

You could see Ethan’s jaw twitch, but he nodded slowly, accepting the peace offering before walking off. You felt your whole body relax, meeting Kim’s eyes who sent you a soft smile.

“Burgess, get back to the station! Halstead, a word!” Voight’s voice was as sharp as a knife and your gaze flickered to Jay’s, your nerves back. To your surprise Jay didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. He was tense, you could see it in his shoulders, but there was not a hint of fear or regret in his eyes as he followed Voight to the side of the hall.

“Don’t worry. Voight will get over it.” You turned your head to find Kim looking at you with sympathy in her eyes. “He looked like he’s about to kill him”, you almost whispered, scared to attract the man’s attention.

Kim followed your line of sight. “We’ve all been at the receiving end of Voight’s temper at least once. It’s no fun, but when working with him it’s inevitable. Jay can handle it.”

You didn’t doubt that. But he shouldn’t have to. It wasn’t fair. Sure, he had undermined his bosses authority in a way, but he had only done it to defuse a conflict. Something that could have ended a lot worse for everyone involved.

“I should get back now before Voight sees me chatting. But it was nice to finally meet you” Kim offered you a smile and you forced one on your lips as well. “You too.”

When she was gone you turned back towards the corner Voight and Jay had rounded, waiting for a sign of them returning. Although it didn’t take long for them to re-appear it was more than enough for your worry to make you a nervous wreck.

Both of them looked equally stoic as they walked through the hall, the tension between them evident enough for everyone to keep their distance. You looked at them from your spot at the nurses desk, trying to catch Jay’s eyes to silently ask him if he was okay. But he didn’t look at you, his eyes trained straight ahead.

At first you thought he did it because of his boss right next to him, but when the two of them parted ways, Jay still didn’t acknowledge you at all. “Hey!” Your hand shot out as he marched past you, grabbing onto his arm.

Jay stopped, turning to you with the same cold look he had worn before. The one that told everyone to get out of his way and not mess with him right now. You could imagine he was pissed, getting told off by his boss for trying to do the right thing, but you would have thought his expression would soften when he looked at you.

It turned out you had been wrong. For a second your eyes flickered over his face as you tried to get a read on him, but he looked so different from the last time you had been together that it was impossible. “Are you in trouble?”

Jay shifted, shaking his head once in an abrupt motion. “Don’t worry about Voight. He’s almost always pissed at someone.”

“But today that someone is you. It’s not fair. You were just trying to de-escalate the situation.” Jay let out a sigh that sounded impatient and you took a step back, taken aback by his reaction. “Anyway, thank you for that. I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t step up. Ethan can be so stubborn too.”

Jay raised his brow, but it wasn’t in an amused or teasing way. he almost looked…annoyed. “Don’t thank me yet. As long as we get the information we need.”

You swallowed, your eyes flickering to your surroundings. “Are you mad at me or something?”, you whispered, unease filling you.

You couldn’t imagine a reason why Jay would act that way towards you. Even if he did it to avoid raising suspicions, it was very much over the top. No, you decided, there had to be more. Because you couldn’t imagine him speaking to Maggie or April that way.

“Why would I be mad? You told me there are things you’re figuring out. I just didn’t think you meant it so literally.”

You drew in a surprised breath, confused by his words as much as his passive-aggressive tone. “What?”

Jay let out a huff. “You know it all makes sense now. How you were so hesitant about a date, that you’re trying to keep this a secret.” Jay shook his head, his frustration turning into annoyance.

“I’m not blaming you”, he clarified, “weighing your options before you make a decision. We never defined what this is between us, so it’s on me if I expected something you clearly aren’t interested in. But I would prefer not be one of your games.”

“Excuse me?” You stared at him with wide eyes, your mouth hanging open in shock as your chest tightened. Something had gone very wrong, only you couldn’t figure out when it had happened and why.

Jay leaned forward, your whole body going stiff as he spoke close to your ear. “I’m out.”

Involuntarily a shiver ran down your spine and you flinched a little, hurt by his words that you couldn’t make sense of. Opening your mouth to say something you weren’t quick enough as Jay took a step back again, looking you straight in the eye. “Have fun.”

Then he turned, leaving you standing there staring after him in shock. None of it made sense, but his attitude had hit you so unprepared you hadn’t been able to defend yourself nor ask the right questions to figure this out. And you doubted Jay would answer your texts.

To hold back the tears that threatened to make their way down your cheeks you forced your teeth into your bottom lip, willing yourself to pull it together.

Maybe it was better this way.

Because you hadn’t even gone on one date with Jay and he had already crushed your heart, leaving you empty and hollow as the hurt spread slowly in your body.

You didn’t want to imagine the pain, if you had fully opened yourself up to him and he had rejected you. The heartbreak seemed unbearable.

But then why did it hurt so much already?

-

Needless to say you had been in a bad mood since your encounter with Jay at the hospital. He hadn’t texted or called you after that and you hadn’t done so either, not ready to hear his distanced voice again, his usually sparkling green eyes now hard when he looked at you.

Maybe he had heard what had brought you to Chicago and decided he wasn’t interested in dealing with someone like you, but you couldn’t imagine who he should have known from. And it didn’t seem like Jay to judge you.

It all seemed so out of nowhere, like something had changed between you from one day to the next. Maybe the signs had always been there and you had been too naive and overlooked them.

A part of you wanted to ask Will about his brother, if anything had happened he knew about, but whenever you decided to do it, you changed your mind again. Because Will had never mentioned Jay to you after you had brought him up that one time so he probably didn’t know anything about you and him at all.

But you missed him.

Missed his witty messages, updates from his day and questions about yours. They had given you something to look forward to in your day. Something that brought you joy and made you feel special. Now that it was over you were still checking your phone, your heart longing for a text from him.

Anything that showed you he still cared.

Tags:

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[lure-of-writing]

Chicago PD/Med Masterlist

Jay Halstead

Not today

Summary: You were partners long before Hailey was. It didn't help that you were in love with him

Not like I used to part 2

Summary: Finally you were able to move on

Out of love with you

Summary: He wasn’t even sure when it happened or more importantly, how. Like everything else it was slow at first, not noticeable by even the most trained eye, but eventually anyone within a twenty foot radius could tell he wasn’t even close to being in love with you.

Connor rhodes

My Love

Summary: If one thing about life was guaranteed, it's that absolutely nothing about life is guaranteed. Waking up, going to work, coming home at the end of the day, none of it was promised.

#chicago med x reader #chicago pd x reader #chicago med imagine #chicago pd imagine #jay halstead one shot #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead angst #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n #connor rhodes x y/n #connor rhodes x you #connor rhodes x reader

[thestarrynightslover]

Whatever Comes

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,147

Warnings: A lot of angst. Mentions of blood, life-threatening injuries, hit-and-run, fracture wounds, and miscarriage.

Summary: Doctor (y/n) (y/l/n) and Jay Halstead are secretly dating when there is a terrible accident involving (y/n) and a lot comes to light.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Okay, so this is my first fic in a long while and I don't think it's all that good but I had to restart somewhere, so I hope you like it anyway!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

You had just gotten out of your car across the street from the side of Med and, as you were making your way through the bit of road that led to the hospital, a car comes into the driveway — screeching tires, in full speed — and runs you over long before you could even see anything and, there, in the matter of a few seconds, everything goes black and you’re left bleeding out in the street.

Almost an hour later, after you had regained consciousness and had begun dragging yourself, very slowly, towards the hospital, Will and Ethan, about to go inside Med, spot you and run your way eager to help you out — even if they hadn’t known it was you at first.

“Oh man, it’s Dr. (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Ethan exclaimed.

“(y/n), can you hear me?!?” You sort of heard Will ask through your dizziness haze.

“Wow, you’re actually shorter this up close than I had imagined at first.” You attempted a joke with your friend, momentarily gaining some clarity.

Ignoring you, Will just asked no one specifically, “oh Lord, how long has she been bleeding out here?”

Decisive as always, you heard as Dr. Choi commanded, “I don’t know but, come on, Will, let’s carry her to the ED!”

As soon as your friends get inside the hospital with you, everybody stays in shock for a moment until Maggie yells: "get her in treatment 4, now!"

Following her lead, Will and Ethan get started on treating you, who has a few broken ribs, and free fluid in your belly besides from a punctured spleen. Having done their best in the ED, they decide to send your upstairs for surgery with Crocket.

Once you're going to surgery, Miss Goodwin tells Maggie and the doctors to call PD and specifically ask for Intelligence, since you were friends with the unit. As the cops get there, one stands out: Jay Halstead. He's frantic, devastated-looking, just completely lost, and desperate to hear more news about your condition. No one really understands why he is reacting like that, but all of them do share the fear of losing a great friend. Voight's giving out assignments to the team, so Jay knows that that's when he needs to speak up.

"Um, sarge?" All eyes are on him. "If you and the team don't mind running one man short today... I was hoping that I could, um, stay here with- with her?" Hank just stares at him, unlike everyone else — who are shocked — the older man's focus is on his detective's eyes, on the way he was so distraught from the moment they got the call about (y/l/n). That was the behavior, the look, of a terrified man. And, as everyone there knew, Jay Halstead — the freaking war vet — wasn't one to get scared easily. "(y/n) and I-"

"It's fine. No need to explain. You should stay here, Jay. Let us know, in case anything changes. And we'll catch the son of a bitch." He said firmly, making Jay feel as appreciative as ever, and, also, sending an implicit message to all the other members of the unit, one that said: we work this with all we got right now, for (y/n), and for Jay, no questions asked.

After the officers left the hospital, there was still a big commotion from everyone who stayed, because it was one of their own up there in the or. But, surpassing everyone else's, was Will's surprise by how distraught Jay looked, especially considering how his little brother wanted to stay at the hospital, instead of going to find who hurt you. So he comes to confront the detective about it. "So... You and (y/n) are a thing?" Will asked, trying to understand. Since Jay just nodded his head, he decided to push a little further: "And... Were you ever planning to tell me? What the hell, man?"

"Will, I-"

"She's one of my best friends, Jay! Not to mention the fact that I'm the doctor who oversees her work here!"

"Will you put it down?" Jay pleaded with his brother, motioning him to a more reserved corner of the waiting room. "I know, okay? I know. And I'm sorry if it upsets you, man, I really am. But this could've blown her career. That's why we hadn't told you yet." It was clear that Will didn't exactly like his brother's explanation, but he knew it was true.

"Just... How long?"

"Um, about six months?"

"Six months?!" The doctor yelled in shock, then repeated it in a lower tone. "But, six months?"

"Yeah, I know it's a lot of time keeping you in the dark, Will. But, trust me, we weren't thrilled about it. And we were hoping to tell you soon. I swear." Jay said, and his brother could, once again, see it was the truth.

"So, that means that when you started seeing each other she was still finishing med school?"

"Yeah, that's right. Which was, like, the main reason for us to keep it under wraps. An intern dating the attending doctor's little brother? Wouldn't look good."

"That's true..." At that point, Will took another look at his brother. Jay looked so worried and scared, even while trying to hide it. "So, uh, you guys are serious?" That question got a little smile out of the detective.

"Yes, we are. I know that it is new for you... But, I love her, Will. I really do." He took a moment to breathe, not being able to hold back some tears this time. “And, I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”

“Jay…” Will started saying but didn’t quite know how to continue. What could he possibly say to comfort his brother right now? “We just… We just gotta stay hopeful, okay? (y/n) is a really tough person and Dr. Marcel is a great surgeon, you know it. She is gonna pull through.”

A lot of disquieting hours later Crocket finally comes out of the surgery, just to be met by a very worried hospital staff and an on-edge Jay Halstead.

"Where is sh- How is she? Is (y/n) okay? Can I see her?" The detective hovers, not even taking a breath.

"Wow! Uh, you gotta calm down a little, buddy."

"Don't give me that crap! Just- just tell me how she is!" Jay shouts again, not giving a damn about what anyone was thinking. You were the only thing on his mind right now.

"Alright. But try to keep breathing, okay?" To that, the other man didn't even bother to answer. "Okay, um, it was a very complicated surgery, I had to do a lot of cleaning and moving around to get to the worst parts and-"

"Can you please just cut to the part where you tell me if she's okay? No offense, but you can fill me in on the details later." Jay stated nervously. It wasn't just that he wanted to know what was the result of all those hours in the or, but, also, because Jay knew he wouldn't understand half of what Connor was saying, even with the simplified language. You would. But not him.

"Right. Okay. She's, um, she's okay for now. We'll need to monitor her on an hourly basis, though." By that point, the surgeon could already see the relief on both Halsteads' faces, so he went on. "We controlled the bleeding, but, with all the blood loss," he stopped to take another look at the detective, "I'm afraid," another pause, because, sure he had delivered this kind of news before, but this time it was a lot harder, because those people were his friends. And, what they had just lost, he had just lost too, in a way, "we couldn't save the baby."

"The baby?" This time he got an answer from both brothers.

"Uh, uh... You, uh, you didn't know she was pregnant?" Crocket asked, kind of already guessing the answer while sharing a look with Will.

"Oh my God..." It was all the youngest Halstead managed to let out. Seeing how his brother was unable to react any further, Will decided to step up and ask the tough questions.

"So, um,  if everything goes well from now on, you think that (y/n/n) will make a full recovery?"

"Ahhh, yes, actually. She was in great health, so, after making it through, uh, through the night, she shouldn't have any major issues." At that point, Marcel himself was trying to be as objective and as doctorish as possible, in order not to make things worse for the man who had just heard that he lost a child he didn't even have a chance to wait for.

"So, is it, um- is it possible that she didn't know about the pregnancy yet?" But, damn it, Will just kept asking all the impossible questions.

"Uh... It is, actually. Very possible." Hearing that, the detective immediately glued his eyes on him. "We estimate that the fetus was about seven weeks. It's very common that women on birth control haven't found out about it at that point." As neither Halstead said anything, Marcel continued, "well, she's up in the ICU now and in and out of consciousness but, if you want, you can see her for a few minutes."

Hearing that, the detective came out of his haze and said: "Yeah, I wanna see her!"

A few hours later, as Will Halstead gathered his things after finishing his shift, he decided to go check on you but got surprised when he realized that his brother was still there, in the waiting room. "Jay, what are you still doing here?"

"I'm waiting," he said simply.

"Jay." Will called again, "you can't do this, you need to go home, get some sleep, eat…"

"I'm not leaving her alone."

"She's not gonna be alone, Jay." Not getting any response, Will decided to lead with something else. "You know, Voight called Goodwin and said that they're hitting a lot of walls in the (y/l/n) investigation…" Measuring his brother's reaction, Will continued: "Maybe they'd have better luck working with the whole team…"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tomorrow I'll tell Voight that I want in on the investigation." Jay said, not making any sign of wanting to leave.

"Jay, you can't work tomorrow after staying here the whole night!" Seeing his little brother still not intending to leave, he threatened, "if you don't go home right now, I'll call Voight myself and tell him that you're in no shape to work-"

"Oh, c'mon! You're gonna do that!"

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," Will said, looking as serious as they get. "Look, Jay, you know she's in good hands here. And, whatever happens, you'll be the first to know, I've made sure of it."

"But-"

"But nothing, Jay! It's time to go, come on!" Will pressed so much that Jay resigned himself to do as his brother told him.

For almost a week, you stayed in the ICU. For almost a week, Jay Halstead passed by Med on his way to work and on his way home from work.

Once you were moved to a room, Jay started feeling like he could finally breathe again, even though there was now the baby that someone had still to tell you. And, after chatting with Will and Crockett, Jay had already decided he was gonna be the one to deliver the news to you. So, one day, after Intelligence had already caught the drug dealers that were running away when they hit you, Jay asked Voight for the afternoon off to take you home from the hospital.

When you were at your place, you asked Jay what was going on: "Hey, you didn't say a word on the way here, is anything besides the fact that I just spent almost two weeks in the hospital and that everyone found out about us wrong?"

"Let's sit down for a minute, babe."

The minute he said that, you knew there was something really wrong.

"Okay, you're scaring me…" You said while sitting down on the couch.

"I just- I have something important to tell you," and, like that, Jay proceeded to tell you the worst thing you ever heard. It's not like you'd been planning on becoming a mother or anything like that anytime soon but it was still a possibility that was brutally taken away… You and Jay cried together for the first time and, consoling each other, you felt your relationship growing stronger. 

So much so that after some time you could start talking about the future that both of you foresaw with one another and, even though nothing was completely decided, there was one thing you knew for sure: as long as you were together, you could face anything.

#chicago pd #one chicago #jay halstead #fanfiction #imagines #fanfic #fluff #angst #jay halstead x reader #chicago pd fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead one shot #jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagines #chicago pd fanfic #chicago pd fic #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd one shot #one chicago fanfiction #one chicago fanfic #one chicago fic #one chicago imagines #one chicago imagine #one chicago x reader #jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x oc #y/n #reader insert

[saragarnier]

Departure

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his wife again

Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst

English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistakes!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didn’t think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didn’t think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.

And then something changed.

You didn’t know if that was because of his partener, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didn’t recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you weren’t able to find a way to help him get through that.

You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.

That’s why you let him go.

When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.

Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?

You didn’t know what was true, but you couldn’t just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.

And that’s exactly what you did.

“It will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.” He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. “I love you… i really do but i need to do this. Please don’t be angry with me, i’ll come back to you, i promise. You’re the love of my life, y/n.”

When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldn’t deny him to be himself again.

That’s why you didn’t tell him the truth.

That’s why you hid it from him.

When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.

“Y/n…” she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. “It’s okay. It’s temporary, right? He will come back, okay?”

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.

“We perfectly know that he can die there.” You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.

“Oh, y/n…” she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.

It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.

“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didn’t complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”

You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, that’s why you just nodded, answering her.

“Does Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that you’re pregnant?”

Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldn’t have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying “no”, she hugged you tighter.

“Oh, darling.” She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. “You should’ve told him, Y/n, i’m sure he wouldn’t have left knowing that.”

You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.

“T-That’s why i-i d-din’t tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldn’t stop him.”

“But he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!” She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.

“When he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadn’t already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that he’s lost. He’s not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, that’s only for eight months.” You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. “When he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.”

Kim didn’t agree with you but you was still shocked, that’s why she didn’t say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.

And she did, as all your unit.

Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.

In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.

You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasn’t there. You couldn’t blame him since you didn’t tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.

Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasn’t ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.

In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you would’ve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didn’t talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didn’t want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.

That’s why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.

Until you didn’t hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.

You didn’t know when he would’ve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldn’t get through labor without him by your side.

That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; that’s why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.

“C-Coming.” You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. “Just give me one minute, i’m trying to get up from the couch.”

At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.

Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.

“J-Jay?” You whispered, shocked. You didn’t expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.

“You’re pregnant.” He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he just couldn’t believe it. “Am i the father?”

That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.

“What do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? You’re my fucking husband, of course you’re the father.”

You were so angry.

You didn’t even realize it till that moment.

You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didn’t know it, even if it wasn’t his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back!” He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.

“You took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didn’t even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!“

Jay knew that coming back home wouldn’t have been easy, he knew that you would’ve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didn’t expect to come home and find you pregnant.

“Wait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!”

You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.

Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.

Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.

“Yes.” You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. “I discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldn’t tell you after that.”

Jay couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldn’t have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.

“You should have told me, Y/n!” He wasn’t able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you weren’t prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he would’ve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that he’s going to become a father in what, few days?

“I’m sorry.” He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry i yelled, it’s just that…. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.”

You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.

“I know.” You sobbed, looking at him. “I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldn’t left and… you said you needed it, I couldn’t stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldn’t see you so sad here. And… when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia… i just couldn’t take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.”

Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.

“I’m sorry i left you alone.” He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. That’s why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.

“Well, i wasn’t alone, was i?” You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. “He, or she, was with me all the time.”

Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.

“Say hi to your daddy.” You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.

Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.

“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked, concerned. “Is everything okay, babe?”

You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.

“Oh no.” You whispered.

Jay looked at you, confused. “What’s happening?”

You looked at him and moaned in pain.

“ i think I’m in labor.”

“Fuck.” He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. “I’m sorry, i swore in front of the baby!”

You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.

“Hospital.” You whispered and he nodded.

“Hospital.” He agreed. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”

“Jay.” You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.

“I’m sorry!” He said, referring to his previous words.

#chicago pd #oneshot #fluff #jay halstead #angst #chicago fire #chicago med #erin lindsay #hailey upton #hank voight #trudy platt #police #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #kim burgess #pregnancy #army #father #newborn #fanfic #x reader

[karihighman]

I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending…

#the rookie spoilers #the rookie #chicago pd #upstead #chenford #hailey upton #jay halstead #lucy chen #tim bradford #parallels #cpd 8x11 #the rookie 6x06 #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tracy spiridakos #i’m emotional #jesse lee soffer #i’m not ok rn #angst #relationship troubles

[sarahmadpeople]

Family Dinner

Summary: Halstead’s sister thought that this time, family dinner would be peaceful but boy was she wrong.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton, Will Halstead x Halstead!Reader, Jay Halstead x Halstead!Reader

Characters: Halstead!Sister Reader (OFC), Dad Halstead, Will Halstead, Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton, Jay’s daughter (OFC)

Tags: light angst, fluff, brother love, family dynamics

Warnings: none

Word count: 1101

Disclaimer: i don’t own any of the characters and this is purely fiction but based on true event ✌🏼

a/n: first chicago med fic although i’ve been watching the series since forever,, jay and hailey have a daughter in here (they deserve so much),, sorry for any mistakes and hope you enjoy this short fic ~~

Masterlist

~

There’s no Halstead family dinner that’s uneventful and that includes tonight. Everyone’s here at dad’s home for our weekly dinner. Will was the one who insisted on having dinners like this to spend time together after dad’s narrow escape from death in the apartment fire (and to watch dad’s diet once in a while, not that Will would admit that).

Dad’s seated at one end of the table and Will at the other end while Jay and Hailey sat at one side of the table and Alina and I sat at the other side of the table. Alina is my niece, Jay’s and Hailey’s daughter, who’s turning 8 years old in a few months.

Our plates were all loaded up with food that Will and I cooked since we’re in-charge of dinner tonight.

“The mashed potatoes are so good! I’m guessing Evie cooked it?” Jay said, in between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes. I laughed, “That’s right, big brother, and it’s mom’s recipe so can’t go wrong.”

There’s a pause of silence after I mentioned mom but that’s normal, we all miss her. Trying to cheer the moment, Hailey complimented the pasta that everybody knew Will made because it was his go-to dish to cook (and his most famous in the family). Dinner resumed and everyone made small talks with each other.

“I want to eat bread with nutella,” whined Alina and I glanced over to see that her dinner was already half-eaten. “Go and take the bread and nutella from the kitchen,” I instructed and Alina smiled cheerfully, skipping to the kitchen and back to the dining table with said items.

I helped Alina to spread the nutella on the bread and continued eating my dinner. Not even 5 minutes later, Alina called out to me, “I want more,” so I said, “You can do it yourself, Alina”. I pushed the bread and nutella to her. I was about to continue eating when dad voiced out, “Why can’t you just do it for her? She wants to eat it.”

Before I could even answer, he continued, “Sometimes, I think that you don’t like Alina. The way you treat her at times is just uncalled for.” I looked at dad, was he being serious? Was he really going to talk about this during dinner? Granted I’m not the kind of aunt who’s lovey dovey with their niece but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I’m rough with her because she’s like my younger sister who can tolerate and even return that treatment to me. It was like your typical sister siblings behaviour. Regardless, it was a mutual agreement that we don’t upset each other while eating and dad being dad, went straight to break it.

“Dad, Evie’s in the middle of eating, she hasn’t eaten since lunch and was busy the whole evening, besides, Alina’s old enough to spread the nutella on her own.” I heard Will saying. I felt myself shut down, which usually happens when I’m upset.

“Yeah dad, Alina can do it herself, don’t be mad,” Hailey started before turning to me and apologised, “Sorry Evie”. I shook my head and smiled (more like grimaced) at her, whispering a short “it’s okay”. Then, before Alina could reach the bread, I took it and made one for her. My eyes got teary and I knew if I talked I’d cry so I whispered to her, asking if she wanted more. Alina nodded so I made another piece for her.

I went silent the entire dinner. Having lost appetite after what happened, I ate slowly and ended up picking half of what’s left on my plate. I felt Will nudging my leg from under the table and I looked up to see the concern in his eyes. I smiled and continued picking at my food.

One by one, everybody finished their dinner and I carried my own plate together with what’s left on the dining table to the kitchen. Tonight, it was also mine and Will’s turn to clear the dishes and clean the kitchen. So while the two of us were in the kitchen, the rest were in the living room watching tv.

“I’m sorry about dad. He shouldn’t have said that, especially when we’re eating.” Will said, starting what he hoped to be a conversation that I honestly was not in the mood for. I shrugged and replied, “Whatever, not the first time and i’m sure it’s not gonna be the last. Let’s just clear all these so we can go home.” My tone giving Will no room to retort or continue the conversation. So we cleaned in silence and soon dad’s kitchen was back to its original state, clean and tidy.

‘Hey dad, I’m gonna go home first. See ya around,” I didn’t bother to wait for any replies before heading out the front door.

“Evie!” I heard Jay called out and stopped. I felt Jay approaching before he entered my line of sight. “I want to apologise for dinner, about Alina and Dad. I know you love my daughter, no doubt about that. It’s not fair for dad to say that to you, after what you’ve done for Alina ever since she was a baby. I’m not excusing him but it’s not like you don’t know him, right. Please don’t let this be our last family dinner.” Jay said.

I scoffed because yeah, I know what dad is like, but I thought he could’ve at least spared my dignity over dinner. “Don’t worry big brother, I’m not gonna disappear just because of tonight. I’ve faced worst than this, and I’m sorry too about Alina, I could’ve just prepared more than one piece of bread and no drama would occur. It's my fault too.”

Jay laughed and shook his head, “Don’t blame yourself, we’re Halstead, what’s life without drama,” he paused, then continued, “Okay, not gonna keep you here any longer than you’d want, so see ya around kiddo, and wait for Will, you live with him,” Jay ruffled my hair and went back in. Seconds after, Will was rushing out of the house.

“You’re so impatient, lil sis, left me high and dry in there to explain to dad why we’re rushing back home,” I heard Will and rolled my eyes. As Will turned the car engine on, he looked at me and said, “Dad said he’s sorry for what he said just now,”

I nodded. I looked at the house dad stayed and thought about the people inside and knew that I wouldn’t change this family for anything, even with the baggage it comes with.

“Okay.”

~

thankss for reading!! ❤️

#chicago med #chicago med imagine #one chicago #will halstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #will halstead x reader #jay halstead x reader #light angst #fluff #family #hailey upton x reader #halstead!reader #halstead!sister #halstead siblings #chicago med x reader #chicago pd x reader

[aromanticbuck]

Jay Halstead, Crisis Counselor

"Are you the police?" "No, I just work with the police. I'm here to help you."

Jay can remember the exact moment he changed his mind about what he wanted to do with his life. He'd made it through the police academy, had a uniform and a badge, was patrolling the city of Chicago for a little over a month and thought he was making things safer. But he got pulled into a shootout that felt a lot like being back in Afghanistan, and he missed all the signs he should have seen in his suffering best friend, and none of it was what he expected his life to be like once he was home.

At four in the morning, Tuesday, November 15th, 2011, he sat in a hospital waiting room and made a choice.

By the time he was sitting in a diner three days later, he had quit his job. Between pestering nurses and refilling his body with cheap, tasteless coffee, he'd turned in his badge and filled out the paperwork to enroll in classes that would start after the holidays. It was almost a complete turn around from where he'd been, and it meant finding a part time job and a roommate - his thankfully alive best friend - so that he could keep a roof over his head while he got his degree. If his brother could get through medical school, he could get a Bachelor's on the government's dime.

Facing criminals and getting shot at wasn't what he wanted to do after all. It was too dangerous, brought up too many memories he'd rather forget, and even his therapist thought that distancing himself from things like that was better for him. Because of her and all of the sessions he begrudgingly attended, he actually slept through the night most of the time. He was able to stop drowning all the pain in too much alcohol, or any alcohol at all. He focused on school, and shifts at the family restaurant he'd gotten a job at, and making sure all of the medications in the bathroom cabinet got taken at the right times.

When Jay graduated with his sociology degree, and passed the test to become a licensed social worker, and his best friend became his boyfriend, things finally settled into place the way he thought they would before he'd turned his own life upside down. There were good days, where he got to work with kids and teenagers who just needed someone to listen to them and acknowledge what they were going through, and bad days, where talking to someone wasn't enough to save them from themselves. But it was a life he was proud of, and he'd saved more lives through engaging in the community than he'd taken overseas, and that was the kind of balance Jay didn't know he'd craved.

[ Mouse ]

#jay halstead #cpd #chicago pd #one chicago #au #one chicago au #moustead #alex does moodboards #november 2011; #no one told me no #apparently kit is mad at me for 'angsting about november 2011' or something #i have a mouse moodboard for this au too if anyone's interested #i just think they're neat #also we watched dashing through the snow on disney+ today #and really i had no choice but to use the first ten minutes as au inspiration #and november 2011 because *gestures to myself* #anyway here's jay's ptsd and alcoholism actually acknowledged #he deserves a happier peaceful life hope that helps #and a boyfriend but that's because *gestures to myself* #i am the gay mouse blog i have a reputation to uphold

[halsteadlover]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @hart-kinsella: Maybe him and mc are working undercover (but they're married in real life) and a guy tries too hard with her (takes her by the arm and invades her personal space as well as trying to flirt with her with words) and then Jay tells him that and punches him. They could be at a club like that one episode when he and Hailey (and Kevin, maybe? I don't remember exactly) were undercover - unfortunately I don't recall which season it was.

• Warnings: mention of drugs, violence.

• Word count: 1543.

• A/N: I know this is not my best work and I apologize 😭 but I managed to quickly write it so I can post something ❤️ and tell me why I stayed for half an hour staring at the wall to think about a title and I ended up with this one 😭 btw love you all and thank you always for your support

It was no secret Jay sometimes hated undercover missions. Especially if you were involved.

He couldn’t help it. He knew you were an amazing cop, one of the best he ever worked with, capable of defending yourself in any circumstances but since you were also his wife, he couldn’t help but worry about you.

And this case was no different.

You and Jay were undercover due to a drug trafficking case, him as a potential buyer interested in purchasing the drugs, you as his work partner who had set up the connection with Joshua Ryder, the criminal suspected of being the gang’s leader.

Jay was on the verge of losing his mind, not being able to stay still and acting like nothing was happening.

You were both in a club, sitting in a VIP room while you talked with Ryder and convince him to make a deal with you. The rest of the team were instead in some fake company’s vans listening to your conversations in real time.

However, things started to go wrong when Jay noticed one of the traffickers approaching you in a way he didn’t like at all.

“Are you here to do business or watch her like a hawk?” the gang leader had insisted for the umpteenth time while for the umpteenth time Jay directed his gaze towards you who continued to giggle with fake enthusiasm with one of Ryder’s henchmen.

You were uncomfortable, as with any mission that involved getting close to another man other than your husband. You knew it was your job, that you had a duty to fulfill and your private life had to stay out of it but sometimes it wasn’t that easy.

“You sure you don’t want anything to drink, sugar?” Asked the man who insistently continued to hit on you. You didn’t even know his name – or care to know – but you smiled anyway with fake naivety, slightly shaking your head.

You quickly glanced at Jay who was sitting in front of you, noticing he was busy talking to Ryder, but his gaze met yours for a moment. It was brief but in that simple look you understood he too had noticed that guy’s insistence. Jay had his arms crossed over his chest, breathing heavy, his jaw clenched as he saw how this man insisted on getting closer to you.

He was disgusting, he smelled of alcohol from miles away, and you had to repress the urge to vomit and the instinct to punch his ugly face.

The man approached further, sliding on the sofa towards you and you moved back, trying to create further distance but without making it obvious and making him suspicious.

“You know, my boss is quite jealous of his employees, you shouldn’t be so close to me,” you falsely giggled but he didn’t seem to get the hint, in fact, it seemed to amuse him even more.

“We’re all one big family here darling, what’s mine is someone else’s and what’s someone else’s is mine…” He rested an arm on the back of the sofa behind your shoulders and although he hadn’t even touched you, you felt your skin crawl and the urgent need to throw yourself into an acid bath. “If you want to do business with us your boss will have to learn how to share… Especially with such a beautiful and gracious girl like you.”

The desire to kick him in the balls was intense and you wondered what kind of woman would really fall for these words.

Jay was on the verge of losing his mind.

He was trying.

He was really trying but it was so fucking hard to stay still and not react when that son of a bitch was being a creep with his wife. Ryder was talking to him about something he didn’t even care about, but he couldn’t pay attention and process a single word, too focused on you.

He couldn’t help but glance at you every now and then, running a hand on his jaw in frustration and starting to fidget on the spot as he saw the man getting closer and closer to you and invading your personal space, like touching your hair or caress your shoulder.

It wasn’t jealousy, he could never be jealous of a filthy man like him but he deeply hated not being able to do anything to keep you safe without ruining the whole mission. He hated seeing you so tense and uncomfortable although from the way your hands were balled into fists in your lap, he knew you too were itching to punch him.

He hated having to pretend you were simply his work partner and not his wife.

But he swore he saw red when that man’s clammy hand rested on your face and your eyes widened at the contact as your entire body froze in place.

Fuck the mission and these motherfuckers too.

Jay lost control.

That slimy hand on you had driven him crazy and before he knew it, he had stood up and grabbed the man’s hand with his, punching him in the face with all the strength in his body. He didn’t catch the gasp that escaped you and he didn’t even care he had just ruined any chance of doing ‘business’ with Ryder along with the possibility of framing him. While his fist hit that bastard again and again, all he could do was think of those hands on you.

“That’s my fucking wife you motherfucker!” Jay screamed in his face, holding him by the collar of his shirt as the man spat out blood, struggling to keep up with the fury of the undercover detective. “Let me catch you again putting a hand on her or even just looking her way, I’ll enjoy breaking your fingers one by one before throwing you in jail.”

Everything was now chaos.

The team, who in the meantime had witnessed everything through your hidden cameras, burst in when they realized the situation had now worsened to the point of no return. You tried to pull Jay away from the man, but it was totally useless, not when he was so furious that your strength was no match for his.

Ryder was fuming when he realized you were cops and you had tried to frame him, swearing he’d make you pay dearly while Kevin handcuffed him along with the rest of his goons.

“Baby,” you called back but Jay didn’t look at you right away. You stood outside the club under Voight’s orders, a hand on his bicep and caressing him as you tried to get his attention. You were alone in a little corner, waiting for your boss for his inevitable fury.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice low but finally focusing his gaze on you.

You let out a laugh trying to diffuse the tension, you hated seeing him so furious. “You are ask me if I’m okay? I’m not the one who just punched a guy.”

He sighed, tearing his eyes away from you as he ran his hands over his face with frustration. Your heart clenched at the sight of his red and bruised knuckles. “I wish I had killed him to be honest.”

“Jay I don’t want you to get hurt because of me,” you replied, taking his hands in yours and leaving a kiss on the back of them, smiling when you saw his hard features start to soften at the gesture. “I could’ve handled him, I wouldn’t have let him go any further.”

“I know you could baby, you’re amazing,” he softy spoke, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He took a step towards you, closing the distance enough you had to slightly lift your head up to look into his eyes. “But there’s no way on earth that I would have sat there and watched while that son of a bitch put his hands on you.”

He cupped your face with his hands, his thumbs caressing your heated cheeks. “No one gets to put a hand on you, much less against your will. You’re my wife, I’m the only bastard who can touch you and I will gladly kill anyone who dares to do it instead of me, am I clear?”

You let out a breath, almost on the verge of passing out right there and now in his arms. “God baby I want to suck your dick so bad right now. I love when you get so protective of me, it’s so hot.”

Jay burst out laughing, his stomach clenching in anticipation knowing you would stand by your words. He pulled you into a hug and you rested your head on his chest as you wrapped your arms around him. “I’ll always keep you safe, I won’t let anyone touch a single hair of your head, I hope you know it. God knows I would set the city on fire to protect you.”

“I know baby, I love you so damn much it’s insane,” you deeply inhaled the smell of his cologne, leaving a kiss on his shirt coated chest. “But I hope it’s worth it because Voight is coming and I think he’s ready to take us both out,” you continued when you broke away from the hug and saw your boss coming up behind Jay, a furious look on his face.

“Oh yeah, it’ll always be worth it, especially for the amazing blowjob you’ll give me later.”

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[adri-2022]

The Unexpected

Fandom: Chicago PD

Characters: Jay Halstead x FemReader

Warnings: slight swearing/ slight fulff/ lot of angst

Word count: 2168

Jay Halstead Materlist

A/N: Hi guys here is an original imagine. I hope everyone likes it. Dedicated to @allisonargent144 and @shxgeosblog.

Don't be afraid to leave your comment!

--------------

Fear. That was the feeling rounding in the city of Chicago. For the last couple of weeks there had been bombs being planted, all of the emergency departments worked hard to stop whoever was doing it. Which resulted in a lot of sleepless nights for Jay Halstead and the rest for his team. His wife Y/N former firefighter was worried about him based on the current situation -you had taken a very early break from work after finding out you were pregnant-. To say you and Jay were joyful was very accurate, you were having your first baby and you couldn’t be happier. Now 5 months pregnant you were very much showing, doctors had told you that baby Halstead would be a big baby -probably got it from its dad-given he was taler than you.  

And although you were happy, you couldn’t help but worry a lot for your husband and friends. It was crazy how it all started, everyone was at Molly’s having a nice evening, when everyone’s phones started ringing like crazy -this with alerts- from their respective departments giving everyone the news of bomb threats all around Chicago. After that day everything changed and everyone with it.

People had been encouraged to stay at home -it was a state catastrophe-, which led to Intelligence Unit being one of the agencies between the crazy psycho bomber and harming a handful of civilians. Now because of intelligence involvement on this case, the whole team became an imminent target.

You woke up, like any other day but there was something different lingering in the air. Today you would find out the gender of your baby. You loved waking up like this, in Jay’s arms, wrapped around you with the palm of his hand in your baby bump. So, you laid there enjoying the little intimacy with your husband before he had to leave and potentially get himself in harms ways to protect the ones he loved most.

“I know your awake, you know” you said giggling when you felt him put his face in the crock of your neck giving you loving kisses.

“Shh, let’s pretend, before I have to go back to reality” which made you smile and hug the strong arms that kept you and baby bean safe.

Now came the worst part of your mornings having Jay walk through the door to the uncertainty. You looked at him while he put his coat on, now catching his gaze and making him stop,

“Hey- baby I’ll be fine. Okay? I’m pretty invincible you know!” he tried to lighten the mood, but you had a nagging feeling on you gut and it wouldn’t go away. Noticing it didn’t work, Jay approached you putting his hands on your waist giving you a peck on the lips, wrapping you in a hug putting a hand in the back of your neck in a protective manner.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there to see baby bean” he said now looking at you with a guilty expression. He promised he would be there for every appointment and now he had to be absent for the most important -hence there was a psycho around, so you didn’t blame him-.

“It’s ok. I’ll wait to tell you when you get home. Because you… Better. Get. Home to me Jay Halstead or I’ll drag you myself” you said while pocking his chest to make your point valid which made him smile more. “I promise I will. I love you” he said raising a hand as if he was making a sacred oath, then cupping your cheeks to give you a kiss and proceeding kneel down to cup you baby bump and kiss it,

“You, be good for momma okay, no more morning sickness, alright?” you chuckled while he looked up at you, finally taking a deep breath and kissing you again before walking out the door.

You were leaving Chicago Med with a very happy smile; you had found out the gender of your baby bean. Now while walking to your car, you couldn’t help but feel weird, as if someone was watching you, doing a spin you didn’t see anyone, so you continued you path towards the car. Before you could open the driver side you felt a material being placed over your mouth and after that everything went black.

At the district every cop was walking on eggshells, they had found the person behind the bombings and to some it felt too easy to be real. Jay hadn’t noticed the time, so when he glanced at the clock, he assumed you were out of your appointment and on your way home, but then he also noticed that you hadn’t called him yet. So, he picked up his phone and dialed your number -straight to voicemail- he furrowed his eyebrows,

“Hey, honey. I- Don’t panic I’m okay. I-I was just calling to hear your voice. I can’t wait to get home and kiss you and baby bean. I miss you both. See you at home” he said smiling lightly at the thought of finding out what baby bean was. Just then Trudy climbed the stairs of intelligence getting everyone’s attention, and by the look on her face it wasn’t good,

“We have a potential suicide bomber on Millennial Park”

“Alright everyone suit up and let’s hit the road” arriving at the park there weren’t many people around just police enforcement, a couple of fire trucks, SWAT was there as well. Getting close to the bomber, Hank stopped in his tracks turning around to stop Jay which made the latter give his sergeant a confused look, until he got a peak over Hank’s shoulder seeing who it was. His eyes went wide -scared, hell terrified- for a moment Jay forgot what breathing was,

“No…” he breathed out you were there in the middle of the chaos, scared expression on your face. Even from where they stood it was clear you were shaking badly. Jay went to move, but he was paralyzed, it couldn’t be- his wife, the love of his life being used. He took a step to get to you, being stopped by Adam.

You were looking down, waiting for the inevitable to come. You had a vest full of explosives and a timer that showed 10 minutes on it. You knew what would happen, and you were crying thinking you just wanted to go home, until you heard your husbands voice,

“I need to get to her. That’s my wife- my pregnant wife. And I swear to god if you don’t let me trough, I’ll shoot every single one of you” you heard him scream and you cried harder, you didn’t want him here, just to witness you being blown into piece. But Jay- well he didn’t give two shits; you were in the middle of it- and he wasn’t letting you go through this on your own.

“We’re ready to take the shot!” a SWAT officer said, with that Jay bolted to you, ignoring the calls he got from everyone around him. You raised your head when you felt a presence in front of you putting his arms up you knew who it was you would know that perfume anywhere -you could hear in the distance Voight’s voice, screaming at someone-,

“Baby- babe look at me please, please listen to me” you heard him say with desperation lacing each word that came out of his mouth, looking up at him through your tears, seeing his brave expression fading the longer his gaze was in yours,

“That’s it baby, just keep looking at me. I’m here” you nodded trying to stop shaking, “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice him following me and…” “No, no- hey that doesn’t matter okay. Listen sweetheart can you do something for me?” you nodded sniffing maintaining eye contact.

“Can you put both your hands up- yeah just like me, good. Now were going to rotate in the same direction…” you cut him off,

“Rotate, w-why?” he grimaced looking at you like he was having an internal battle,

“There are a couple of snipers, and they have- they have a target. We’ll just rotate- yes just like that- it should gives us some time” if you weren’t scared before now, you were pretty close to passing out. “I’m the target, aren’t I?” you said trying to act calm, but it was clear to the both of you, that neither were feeling even a bit of it. Jay could just look at you his eyes expressing nothing more than fear.

“Sarge, it has a timer. 3 minute” Jay screamed back towards the unit -radios could detonate the bomb-, you shook you head taking deep breaths, and trying to keep the tears at bay. Just then Hailey came whispering something in Jay’s ear, he then side glanced her giving her a nod, you couldn’t really hear anything since you were both still rotating-.

“Y/N, baby, I’ll have to disarm the bomb myself” you just looked at him wide eyes, your lip started trembling, thinking about all the things you wanted to say to him before it was too late, you wanted more time, hell you needed more time. You noticed everyone apart from you and Jay backing behind the cars, then and there you knew this was it.

“I- I love you so much, and I’m so sorry for every mistake I’ve made. I wouldn’t change anything. I love you and- and I trust you” you said giving him a teary smile, to what he shook his head, tears in his eyes, “No goodbyes” his voice breaking while he helped you get both of you on your knees without breaking eye contact.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. It’s just our family, no one else. We’re invincible remember” he gave you a teary close lip smile, then you put your forehead to his while you both had tears running down your cheeks,

“I wanna go home, I wanna go home…” you cried.

“We are” he said trying to give you an encouraging smile while he looked into your eyes, with nothing more than love -like it was the last time you would get to look into his eyes-.

“It- it’s a baby girl” you said sobbing, while Jay put his hand on the back of your neck kissing you deeply, cutting the wire at the same time. And there was silence. You didn’t know if you had died or not, there wasn’t any sound, until you heard a relieved sigh, and a chuckle, that made you open your eyes to see Jay starting tears in his cheeks, touching your face as if to make sure you were both there,

“Were having a baby girl!” he said laughing which made you laugh, as everyone else came running towards the two of you, relieved looks on their faces. While you and Jay kept on laughing while holding each other’s faces,

“They’re laughing?” Adam said “Adrenaline” Hailey said placing a hand on your shoulder. Helping Kim get the bomb vest off you. Once off, Jay didn’t hesitate to pull you to your feet grabbing your neck and smashing his lips on yours smiling on the kiss. He had to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and that you were really alive in his arms, before pulling away and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear with one hand while the other rub your belly -as to have certainty that the baby was okay too-.

Walking towards the ambulance, you noticed a group of cars just arriving, so you looked towards Jay who pulled you closer -pissed look on his face- gazing at the group of people before passing in front of them,

“Couldn’t have done it without you guys! Arrived just in time” he said sarcastically at the bomb squad, before taking to med.

Hours later you were at home, cuddling in bed with your husband, you couldn’t sleep, the events had scared your sleep away. As if noticing you were wide awake, Jay reached for the bedside lamp, and standing up before taking your hand and making you stand on the bed. You gave him a confused look, until he swope you in his arms bridal style, walking towards the living room in the balcony direction,

“You’re not gonna throw me over the balcony, right?” “Ha Ha, give me a hand with the door, would you Mrs. Halstead” you followed instructions, he carefully sat you in the hammock, before going back inside a returning with a blanket. Slowly claiming into the hammock with you, pulling your back towards his bare chest, wrapping his arms around your baby bump and feeling little baby girl kick, which made you both chuckle.

He started humming to a lullaby you had heard together still caressing your belly, until you dossed off,

“You’re safe. I got you I promise, I always will” he whispered right after you fell asleep, kissing your cheek and looking out to the stars.  

#jay halstead x y/n #chicago pd imagines #jay halstead #jay halstead fluff #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #fan fiction #one chicago fic #jay halstead angst

[sayafics]

Just For A Moment - Part 5

Hello my beautifuls <33

Sorry for the really late update, I have been slammed with family events and have more in a weeks time 💔💔

But I do hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm going to try and update more often before I go MIA for a few days for wedding related stuff (not mine, silly😭)

This is a POV of Aurora's experience after she left and why she came back, enjoyyyy!!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6

Masterlist

When Aurora had made the choice to leave the Intelligence department, and then Chicago, she didn't have it in her heart to discard the items that connected her to her life there.

So as days went by, her phone continued to ring and vibrate with a bombardment of messages and calls, one after the other. She didn't have the courage to silence them, nor the anger within her to turn off her phone or throw it out.

Instead, she bought a new one as she watched her phone continue to light up as weeks went by.

She tried not to read the messages, forced herself to avoid the voicemails left for her and soon they began to die down.

As weeks went by, the need for answers from friends and colleagues grew weaker as they accepted the fact she didn't want to talk to them, didn't want to explain herself or talk about the pain she had gone through.

Aurora threw herself into her work, hoping one distraction or the other was enough to pull her mind away from the horrors of her last few weeks in Chicago.

Soon her phone would only ring once a day, every day at ten o'clock. It was Jay, it was always Jay.

A part of her, selfish and greedy, found herself looking forward to those calls - entertaining the idea of picking up and hearing his voice, listening to the sounds of his breaths, seeing if he still felt guilty, seeing if he wanted her the way she found herself still wanting him.

That was the worst part.

After all he had done, there was a part of her that craved Jay - that needed his voice in her ear, his hands on her skin, his praises and his confessions, his love and his pain. There was a part of her which longed for him, that continued to yearn for him even though she had all but ran away from him.

Perhaps that was why she picked up.

It was 11:37pm when the phone rang. Jay's call had come at 10pm and been ignored. Still, he left a voicemail that went unheard, Aurora was too fearful of the pain his voice would cause her that her ache for it wasn't enough to make her want to listen.

No, this call was from Matt Casey, the firefighter she had given her phone number to so they could arrange a time for him to help her with some construction work on her property back in Chicago.

Maybe it was loneliness or perhaps pure desperation, or anger and spite which fuelled her actions, but she picked up at the third ring.

There was silence on both sides, the only sound being light inhales and deep exhales as both parties decided on what to say.

"You picked up."

His voice sounded surprised.

"Hey, Matt."

Her voice was soft, but cautious. She was unsure why Matt Casey of all people would call, but she was also not sure why she had picked up so quickly.

"Hey, Aurora," he sounded relieved at the sound of her voice, "how are you?"

She shrugged, despite the fact he couldn't see her, "better." It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

He didn't need to know she cried herself to sleep every night, that she spent every waking moment thinking about Jay, every lucid breath angry at him, and every calm second grieving what had been lost.

Casey sighed as though he could hear the lies in her words, but chose not to push, "everyone misses you here," he waited a breath, for a response, for a sign of regret she had left or a hint of longing, but nothing.

"Jay misses you."

Aurora inhaled sharply at that, by now she had only been gone just over a month, and the mention of Jay brushed viciously against a raw and gaping wound.

"I'm sorry," his voice was quieter now, speaking his words slower, "Kelly's worried about him. We all are."

"Jay's not my problem," her voice was shaky, but she forced her words out with conviction.

"I know."

There was nothing more to say, "I gotta go, Matt."

"I'll talk to you later."

It wasn't a question, and a part of Aurora was kind of glad for that.

"Bye Matt."

"Bye Aurora."

Their phone calls continued like that for the next few months - Casey would call Aurora every other week, keeping her up to date on things happening, telling her everyone missed her, giving silent encouragements for her to come back to Chicago. And every time, he would try and bring up Jay, to express his worries and the fears of others as Jay wore himself down with guilt and anguish. But every time Aurora would find an excuse to end the call, and pretend Matt had never said anything at all.

Jay's calls still continued, every day like clockwork he would call at ten o'clock, and still Aurora would not answer.

It had all come to a head when her phone rang in the early afternoon. She had finished a gruelling case recently, and had taken to hibernating in her quaint and scarce apartment as she readied herself for weeks under another alias.

The ringtone sang loudly as she stepped towards it, it was too early for it to be Jay, and too soon after the last call for it to be Matt.

Voight.

She thought about not picking up, but Voight wouldn't have called if it wasn't important.

Was it about Jay? Was he okay? Had he been hurt?

She took a calming breath, forcing her hands not to tremble at the troubling thoughts as she answered the call and brought the phone to her ear - "hello?"

"Aurora."

Voight's voice hadn't changed, he still spoke in his baritone rasp, slow and authoritative. A part of her was comforted by it, warming at the sound of a familiar voice she hadn't realised she had been missing.

"Did something happen to him?"

She couldn't help it, couldn't control her fears. It was the first time Voight had called her, and the idea that something bad could have happened to Jay being the reason why gnawed at her.

"He's safe," she let out a sigh of relief, hoping it was quiet enough to be ignored, but a part of Voight perked up at the sound as he continued, hoping his words wouldn't scare her off - "he's struggling though."

"That's not my problem," her voice was a quiet whisper, eyes closing as the words were repeated to her by someone other than Matt.

"I know," he was cautious with his words now, "but that's not why I called."

She was curious now, eyes opening as her brows raised in question, "hm?"

"I got a case."

"And I quit."

Voight sighed at her retort, "as an officer of the CPD. I don't need an officer, I need an undercover agent."

Aurora paused at that, curious as to why Voight would go to all this trouble to ask for her help when there were plenty of experienced undercover operatives within the CPD itself - Jay included.

The truth was, Voight knew someone else could help with the case. But over the years Jay had spent working in Intelligence, he managed to wedge himself into Voight's life with ease. After the death of his son, Voight's reliance on Jay's presence had grown stronger. In some ways, Jay was like a son to him.

So perhaps out of his own form of selfishness or an unprecedented amount of protectiveness, he wanted to help Jay.

Voight could see how Jay was breaking, could see the light fading from his eye as his prayers and pleas went unanswered. He could see the way Jay was losing weight, the way his eyes grew darker with lack of sleep, how he was angrier, and easily tired, how he was in denial and desperate.

He also wasn't in the dark with how Aurora was doing, her father frequently keeping in contact as he spewed his worries about how his daughter was throwing herself into her work, alienating herself from friends and family. Aurora was doing the exact thing she had told her father she wanted to run from. She was losing herself in the lives she lived, working a career that drained her.

Jay and Aurora were both suffering, both exhausted and tired. They both needed each other, but the pain that had been inflicted on them was too much for them to face, and they found it easier to avoid it through their own vices.

Jay's was alcohol, whilst Aurora's was her work.

And the paternal heart of Voight could not bear to hear and see the two torture themselves any longer.

"Why?"

Aurora's question broke him out of his reverie, so he spoke, "why not?"

She groaned in frustration, "Voight, I swear to God. Please. I can't come back."

"You don't want to come back. But I have a case, I need you."

It was true, she didn't want to come back. Fearful of what she would see if she did.

Would Jay have gone to Hailey for comfort? Would they have fallen in love? Was Hailey the one for him? Was Hailey enough for him in a way she wasn't?

They were questions she had forced herself to leave unanswered.

"I'll send you the case file. Have a look, and get back to me," Voight paused, listening to the shallow breaths on the other end of the phone, "the team's not the same without you. Jay isn't either, and I know you aren't. This could be good for you both. Think about it, kid."

Voight ended the call before she could reply, before she could think or before she could say no. She stood there with the phone still pressed to her ear, standing in baited silence even as her laptop pinged with a notification of a new email - the case file.

Still, she stood and thought.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, but soon, she was forced to blink herself back to reality. Her eyes were pulled towards her laptop, already open and waiting for her to investigate.

Aurora probably should have ignored it. She should have gone on about her day and left Voight's request unanswered.

But the agent in her, the officer, and the soldier drilled into her bones forced her to drag her feet towards the device and pull up the files she had been given.

She had a lot of thinking to do, and a very hard decision to make.

***

A few hours had passed since Voight's call, and for the first time in several months Aurora picked up her phone to make a call.

Her finger automatically selected 1, ready to speed dial the one person she was avoiding, simply out of instinct.

She forced her eyes closed as she took laboured breaths, calming herself before she opened her eyes and searched for a specific contact.

Matt.

She liked to think they had become friends during the last few months, and she hoped that he would help her now more than ever. She wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. A part of her wanted to hear encouragements to come to Chicago, and the other wanted him to warn her never to come back.

She wants him to tell her she should find happiness where she was, but she was afraid she never would.

Matt picked up on the last ring, and the pair spoke for a long time. Aurora was surprised - there were no encouragements nor any hints she should stay away.

Matt focused on what she wanted to do, what she felt was right. The truth is she wasn't sure, but looking over the case, she knew she could do some good.

There was a new gang in Chicago, distributing laced drugs to minority areas, causing children as young as ten to be hospitalised and on the brink of death. Voight wanted her to be the one undercover, to get close to who they thought was in charge, to get a confession, or to find some evidence. Anything to get this gang on its knees, to cut off the head of the serpent from where it was rooted.

The call was heavy, Matt reminding her that she would eventually have to see Jay, possibly even work with him. She didn't think she could do that, she thought her throat would clog and her eyes would water, that her mind would panic and she would run again.

Another part of her thought she would turn a blind eye to his actions for a moment of solace in his arms, even if just for a moment longer.

She was conflicted, she was struggling.

And she knew Matt could sense it, even if he couldn't see her.

"It would be great to have you back in town. I know 81 would be happy, I'm sure CPD would be too."

"Maybe. Doesn't mean it won't be hard."

"Nothing is ever easy, especially not in this line of work."

A bitter laugh escaped her, "not in this life, you mean."

Matt sighed through his nose, a silence emanating through the phone, "don't let this break you."

"What?" The words had been unexpected, causing her to sit straighter as she listened closely.

"What Jay did. Don't let it be what breaks you, don't let it stop you from being happy even if you have to come back here to find it."

Aurora let out a shaky breath. She hadn't thought that way before. She hadn't realised that was what she had been allowing to happen, she had been allowing herself to break whilst she lived in misery, staying away from her friends and from a life she truly enjoyed.

Yes, Jay hurt her in a way that was so damaging that she felt the need to flee. But that didn't mean she couldn't go back, or at least, it didn't mean she couldn't try.

She was still wary of the pain and agony she would face when she had to see him, had to hear his voice and face the possibility that he was happy without her.

But she had to try.

At her silence, Matt prompted further, "I'll be there every step of the way. If you come, and if not, I'll still be here."

Her eyes burned at those words, she watched the lines of their friendship begin to blur as she listened to his words of support.

Matt had been there, had been a listening ear, a helpful advisor, and a beloved friend.

She was not sure if she wanted him to be more, but she knew she appreciated his friendship and his support.

She continued to stay quiet, but Matt was undeterred, "I'll see you soon, Aurora. Goodnight."

He spoke as though he knew what her answer already was, spoke as though he knew she was coming, and he was ready to be there in any way she would have him.

Aurora glanced at the clock, wondering how it was gotten late so quickly.

9:58pm.

Oh.

"Goodnight."

Aurora ended the call, and the seconds ticked by quickly as another call replaced the one she had just ended.

She let it ring, until it went to voicemail.

Only this time, she listened to it. She ignored the rest, piled in her voicemail box, waiting for her attentive ears, and played the one Jay had left only seconds ago.

'Rory,' his voice was scratchy, as though he hadn't spoken for quite a while or hadn't drank water in hours. In truth, Jay's preferred form of hydration now was alcohol, 'I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I don't know what to do.'

Jay's voice grew heavier with tears at every word, guilt weighing him down as he spoke, a debilitating weight began to fester in Aurora's sternum as she listened to his anguish - 'I can't find you. But I need you, please come home.'

Aurora thought it would end there, hoped that his other voicemails were similar babbles of mumbling and slurred apologies from drowning himself with alcohol to hide from his shame. But Jay continued with renewed vigour, his voice light as he reminisced about quiet moments he shared with her, 'we're working on a case. We've almost solved it. I just know it. You would've liked this one. It was a homicide - you always liked those. Said it reminded you of Sherlock Holmes. I read the books you bought me about him, after so long. You were right, I couldn't put them down. I fell asleep on the couch so many times whilst reading, would've missed work if it wasn't for my alarm too,' a strained laugh escapes him.

'I can't go into that room anymore,' her heart sinks as she realises which room he's speaking about, 'not unless I have to. I can't. Not when I know the last person in that room wasn't you. Not when I know I won't be able to sleep without thinking of you. Come back to me,' he spoke with a broken whisper, 'if you're ever ready to have me, ever ready to trust me. Come back home, to me. I'll always wait for you.'

Tears were now streaming down her face, eyes clenched shut as she tried to hold them back, but her shoulders shuddered with stubborn sobs. It was his last words that broke her, that tore down the walls she had placed between herself and her home for so long, that wiped away the distance she had drawn.

'You're enough. You've always been enough. I was just too blind to see it, but I know it now, and I see it now. You're enough.'

There it was. The reply she had been waiting for, all those months ago, out in the open when she had left him to stew in his guilt and misery.

She was enough, but was Jay too late?

***

Aurora tried to tell herself it was Matt's words of encouragement that brought her to this moment. That Matt was why she was here, and that every glance towards the windows and door wasn't in search of him.

She had accepted Voight's offer, unaware of his hidden agenda, and returned to Chicago within the same week.

She had gone to new lengths to avoid the temptation of listening to Jay's voicemails, hiding her phone deep into the depths of a suitcase she left abandoned in the house she had run from all those months ago.

That brought her to this moment now - refamiliarising herself with her surroundings and her friends by making a stop at Molly's. Matt was already waiting for her, with open arms and a hearty smile.

He knew she would come, and he was proud of her for doing so.

He stayed with her the whole time, a protective hand at her back and an ever-present guard at her shoulder as she spoke to old colleagues and faded friends.

But even he did not miss the way her face fell as it tracked a familiar car racing away from Molly's. He didn't miss how she became quieter, more reclusive in the moments which followed.

But he stayed by her side, a compassionate friend ready to help her deal with the brutal emotions that she fought with.

Matt Casey was a good man.

***

Aurora had come into the station the next day, greeted by cheers and welcoming hugs from all who recognised her - even Voight had embraced her tightly, a hug so warm she was left thinking about how long it had been since she had hugged her own father as she relished in the feeling of a heartfelt embrace.

Her presence had been received gracefully by all, except one person - Hailey.

Aurora kept her distance from the woman, not even sparing her a smile as she limited herself to Voight's office and Kim's desk whilst she reacquainted herself.

The desk she used to own still laid bare, but it was clean and tidy - free of any dust, as though it was cared for meticulously, ready for her return should she decide so.

She had passed through the police department several times over the next few days, preparing herself for the operation she would work undercover on. And on every single one of those days, a part of her dreaded seeing Jay whilst another longed to look into his green eyes one more time.

But he hadn't come, and she soon found herself thinking she wouldn't see him at all. That he would avoid her until she left, that all his words in that voicemail were truly drunken rambles, and he didn't mean a word.

She felt stupid, felt naive and desperate for wanting to see the man. For wanting to see his reaction, to see if he would cry, if he would yell, to see if he would embrace her gently or grab her roughly against him, holding her tight as though she'd slip through his fingers like dust.

Aurora wasn't sure what she wanted.

Aurora wasn't sure if she wanted Jay.

Aurora wasn't sure if Jay Halstead was a good man.

But she knew a part of her would always crave him, and the broken pieces of her heart would always search for his.

She knew she wanted to see him.

What do we think?

I hope you guys enjoyed it <33

Also, thank you to everyone who had been commenting, liking, and reblogging this series. I appreciate you all, every like, every comment, and every reblog means the world to me.

Jay and Aurora will meet again in the next chapter, and ofc Hailey will find a way to weasel herself in :/ what do we think their reactions are going to be?👀

#jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x oc #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #jay halstead angst #jay halstead x hailey upton #hailey upton #hank voight #chicago med #chicago one #chicago #chicago fire #matt casey #matt casey x reader #matt casey x oc

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

That Herrmann/Halstead DNA (Chapter Seven)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-One of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Assault, Stabbing, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury, Whump, Trauma, Eventual Hopeful Ending

A/N: I received my degree from the medical school of Television Drama which means while things might not (*cough* will not *cough*) be accurate, they will be exciting. *jazz hands* SEE END FOR MORE NOTES

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Jay

Jay was about ready to crawl out of his skin.

He needed to do something—anything—but…Mouse was taking care of Bex, Connor was with Will, and Chris was on the phone updating Cindy.

Ms. Goodwin had come by and said she would take care of checking on Connor and Will. (And hopefully get an update about how the operation was going.)

Nobody needed snacks. (He’d asked.)

He couldn’t even work the friggin’ case. (Detective Medeiros said so.)

Waiting around, not knowing what shape Bex was in or if Will—

If Will was going to—

Jay scrubbed a hand down his face. He was two seconds away from losing his damn mind.

“Halstead!” Platt came charging down the hall with most of Bex’s school friends trailing behind her. “They put us on lockdown upstairs and just let us out now. Said there was a shooter. What the hell happened down here? Everyone okay?”

A debrief. He could do that.

Jay looked at the huddle of worried faces in front of him and gave a pared down version of what happened, trusting that Platt could read between the lines.

“But they’ve got him now?” Isaac asked, sending an anxious glance back at the elevators. “Ty? He’s in custody? Sam’s up with Emery by himself. Is that—”

“There’s absolutely no way he’s getting loose again,” Jay reassured him. Between Detective Medeiros and Voight, that was an iron-clad guarantee.

“Any word on how Will’s doing?” Devon asked quietly and Jay shook his head.

He was trying not to think about it too hard. Surgery like that always took awhile and they really hadn’t been gone that long. Will was strong. He was going to be okay. He had to be.

Jay wasn’t going to accept anything less.

“Yeah, no, we, uh, we haven’t heard anything yet,” Jay said, sighing. He jerked his chin in a little nod at Chris as he ambled toward their group, finishing up his call with Cindy.

“I love you too,” Chris said, stopping to stand beside Jay. “I will. Yes! I promise!” he said into his phone, raising his eyebrows. “He’s right here. It’ll be the first thing I do. Yup. Yup. Okay. Hug the kids. Love you. Bye.” Chris ended the call with a tired smile. He stuffed his phone into his back pocket and turned to Jay, immediately pulling him into a bear hug.

“Wha—”

“This is from Cindy,” Chris said, squeezing him tighter. “You gotta take it. No arguing.”

Jay hesitated a moment before letting himself melt into the hug. He had a feeling Cindy would somehow know if he didn’t accept it and would immediately call Chris back.

Besides, he was tired. So tired of this shitty, shitty day.

He needed the damn hugs.

Chris gave him a couple of pats before finally letting go. “Guess who we forgot about?”

“I can’t even think right now,” Jay said. “Just tell me and—oh, crap, it’s Kol, isn’t it?” Poor dog had been left alone for hours now. “We have to go get him. Where can we—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Chris said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Cindy realized as she was leaving and swung by Will and Bex’s place to pick him up. Thank god she’s in charge of the spare keys. The kids are thrilled to be looking after him for a few days and honestly?” He rubbed at his face and sighed. “It’s a good distraction for them right now.”

Yeah, Jay didn’t envy Chris and Cindy trying to navigate explaining everything that had gone down to the kids. Annabelle and Max would probably be satisfied with the bare bones now that they had Kol there, but Lee Henry and Luke were getting to the age where they caught on when their parents were trying to hide stuff from them. And were insisting more and more that they could handle it all.

Jay could barely handle it.

Ms. Goodwin returned just then and Jay felt Chris stiffen beside him, neither of them sure how to read the look on her face. Jay was almost afraid to ask, but he forced himself to try. “Were you able to—”

“Yes, I have an update from Dr. Allan,” Ms. Goodwin cut in immediately, a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips. “Dr. Halstead lost a lot of blood and there was some damage to his spleen, but they’re making good progress with the repair. I think we can be cautiously optimistic.”

Okay. Jay let out a shuddery breath. That was—he would take that.

“How’s Connor doing?” Chris asked.

Her smile gave way to a sad frown. “I’m not sure he even knew I was there,” she said. “He’s very concerned about Dr. Halstead and I—I think the sooner we’re able to convince him to get some rest, the better.”

“We’ll work on him,” Chris promised. “Thank you, Ms. Goodwin, for checking on them.”

“They’re my people too.” She handed Chris a card. “This has my number on it,” she said. “Please keep me updated on—” she waved a hand through the air “—all of this, as you can. I’m going to see what I can do about covering the ED for the next few weeks.”

Chris pocketed the card with a grateful nod and she headed off. A clatter of wheels in the hall had Malia craning her neck to take a peek and she let out a soft gasp. “It’s Bex.” She and the others moved aside to let Chris and Jay through.

Sure enough, Dr. Fahir and a nurse Jay didn’t recognize were bringing a bed with Bex back to her room. Mouse was walking along beside, talking quietly to Bex as they went. More surprising was seeing Dr. Abrams consulting a tablet as he followed along behind them.

Was Bex’s concussion more serious that they’d thought?

Chris and Jay followed them into Bex’s room, hanging back while they got her set up again. Tried to hang back anyway. Bex spotted them right away and started to push herself up with a grimace which set off Dr. Fahir, Dr. Abrams, the nurse, and Mouse; all four of them quickly trying to get her to lie back down.

“Ms. Herrmann,” Dr. Abrams said firmly. “Remember what we talked about.”

“Rest,” Dr. Fahir added.

“But—”

“You gotta try and stay still,” Mouse urged as he leaned in, stroking her hair away from her face. “What do you need? I’ll get it for you.” He followed her finger, understanding dawning when he caught sight of Jay and Chris. “Oh! Yeah, one sec.”

Mouse waved them over, moving back so the two of them could stand closer to Bex.

“Wh-what’s happening with Will? Is he—is he okay?” Bex looked up at them with teary eyes as she took a shaky breath. Jay wished more than anything that he had good news for her.

“He’s still in surgery,” he said. “But it sounds like it’s going well—whoa!” Jay reached out, trying to steady Bex as she fought to sit up again. “No, hey, come on—what are you doing?”

“Need to go,” she muttered. “Gotta see him.”

“Bex, sweetie.” Chris moved in to gently stop her and made eye contact with her. “Will is in surgery. You can’t see him right now. We will tell you as soon as we hear anything else.”

“He—Will’s hurt, Chris.” Bex’s voice cracked as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I need—”

“I know, baby girl, I know.” Chris kept whispering to Bex as he coaxed back down and got her settled against the pillows. “I promise he’s being taken care of and I’ll take to you see him as soon as I can. But for now—can you close your eyes and rest for a minute while I talk to the docs. Can you do that for me?”

Bex grumbled something that Jay missed, but made Chris smile. Her eyes fluttered shut finally and Chris stepped over to pull a haggard-looking Mouse into a quick hug. Jay grabbed him for another one immediately after.

Fuck it. Tonight was hug night now.

“How’s she doing?” Chris asked quietly, looking between Mouse, Dr. Fahir, and Dr. Abrams. The nurse turned down the lights in the room and they all moved closer to the door to speak in low tones.

“The fractures in her arm and ribs have been aggravated further,” Dr. Fahir said. “One of her ribs has become subluxated.” She caught was Jay was sure was a completely confused look on his face and took pity on him. “That means it’s slipped out of place, but hasn’t been fully dislocated. It will heal on its own along with the fractures, but she’ll be in a lot of pain.”

“Did the contusion get worse?” Chris asked. “What about the internal bleeding?”

“The internal bleeding has slowed, but not as much as I’d hoped,” she said. “We’re still keeping an eye on that and the contusion along with her concussion symptoms.”

“How bad is the concussion?” Jay asked as he dug out his phone so he could start writing this stuff down.

“Mild, luckily,” Dr. Abrams said. “Aside from the pain, she’s also dealing with some confusion. There was…a bit of difficulty getting her to stay still for the scans.”

“She got upset while she was getting checked out because she forgot Will had been shot,” Mouse murmured to them. “Doc had to give her something to calm her down.”

“Her memories of the last few hours are foggy and that may or may not clear up,” Dr. Abrams said. “Someone should stay with her to make sure she doesn’t make it out of bed on her own.”

“Yeah, we can, uh, we can handle that,” Chris said, running a hand through his hair. “Gotta say, Dr. Abrams, I freaked out a little when I saw you here. Had me headed straight for the worst-case scenarios.”

“I was having dinner with Ms. Goodwin and Dr. Charles when she received the call about the shooting and we all returned to the hospital,” Dr. Abrams said in that very clipped and professional tone he had. “When I heard about Ms. Herrmann’s injuries, I offered to do a consult since I was here anyway.”

His voice was all business, but Jay caught the ever-so-slightly fond and faintly worried glance he gave Bex. She might be right about him being a secret softie.

“I know you all have your hands full at the moment,” Dr. Fahir said, drawing Jay’s attention back to their discussion. “But I cannot emphasize enough how important it will be for Bex to truly rest over the next few weeks. Overexerting herself will set any healing back exponentially.”

Jay bit back a groan as he met Chris and then Mouse’s eyes.

Make sure Bex stays still and rests.

While Will and Emery are in the hospital.

“I mean, we’ll do our best,” Chris said, shaking his head. “But it’s gonna be a battle.”

Jay and Mouse snorted, but Dr. Fahir’s next words had them sobering up.

“She’ll be in too much pain the first couple of weeks to get very far.” Dr. Fahir gave them all a stern look. “The medication can only do so much.” Jay remembered that from his own times at Med. Rib injuries especially were a beast.

“Rest. It’s the most important thing, gentlemen,” Dr. Fahir repeated. “I’m counting on all of you to help her navigate this.”

“None of us want to see her back in a hospital bed anytime soon,” Dr. Abrams added.

After promising to check back in tomorrow, the medical team swept out of the room, leaving Jay, Chris, and Mouse watching a restlessly snoozing Bex.

“Tying her to the bed is probably out,” Chris whispered. “But what are the odds on us getting her a prescription for that sedative to last the next few weeks?”

“I mean…I know a guy,” Mouse said, holding up a hand when Jay smacked him in the side. “Kidding. Jeez.”

There was a soft knock at the door before Platt stuck her head in. “Got a pile of firefighters out here hoping for an update.”

“You guys can go,” Mouse said, pulling a chair over to the side of the bed. “I’ll stay.”

“You sure?” Jay would rather stay too, but he didn’t blame 51 for wanting to know what was going on. Bex was as much their family as Chris was. And he really didn’t want to leave Chris to face what was guaranteed to be a flood of questions all on his own.

“I, uh, I don’t think I’m going to be able to leave this spot any time soon, man.” Mouse carefully took Bex’s hand in his own.

Jay felt that down to his bones. He was pretty sure Bex’s pullout couch was going to be his new home for the foreseeable future.

“We’ll be right outside,” Jay said, following Chris to the door. “Yell if you need anything.”

He and Chris didn’t make it very far. Platt hadn’t been lying about the pile of firefighters. It looked like all of 51 was crammed into the hallway. Boden, Severide, and Casey standing at the front with matching worried frowns etched into their faces.

“What the hell happened after we left?” Severide asked.

Jay sighed as he leaned against the wall and Chris huffed out short laugh. “The answer to that depends,” he said.

“On what?” Severide demanded.

“How long your break is?”

***

Connor

“—nor? Connor. Look at me, please.”

Maggie’s voice broke through the rushing pulse of blood pounding in Connor’s ears. He tore his gaze away from the flaking patches of blood—Will’s blood—on his hands and met her eyes.

“There you are,” she said softly. “The surgery is done—”

“Done?” Connor scrambled to his feet, gripping at the sink as he peered through the window. Which was empty save for a couple of orderlies doing clean up. “Wh-where is he? What happened? Is he okay? Maggie, I—”

“Need to breathe,” Maggie said, gripping his hands in hers. “He made it through surgery. Dr. Allan was able to repair all of the damage and Will is stable. She’s taking him to observation.”

“Oh,” Connor gasped out, trying to what she was telling him sink in. “Oh. That’s—that’s good, that’s, uh—jesus, that’s—” Maggie helped guide him back to the floor as his legs gave out and his words crumbled into sobs.

She rubbed at his back, holding onto him for who knew how long as everything Connor had been trying to keep a lid on for the last few hours bled out of him.

When his sobs petered out into sniffles, a paper towel appeared in front of his face. Connor looked up to see April crouched in front of them with a sympathetic smile on her face. Ethan stood behind her with a bundle of clothes in his arms.

“Dr. Allan said you can come with her to let everyone know the good news, but you’ve got to get cleaned up first,” April said.

“She said you’re going to terrify the patients if you want through the halls like that,” Ethan added.

If he looked half as bad as he felt, Connor figured she probably wasn’t far off.

“Okay.” Connor took a bracing breath before heaving himself to his feet and reaching down a hand to help Maggie up. “Gimme five minutes and I’ll be good to go.”

“Yeah, we’re not trusting you to do this without keeling over yourself,” April said. “Strip that top off, Rhodes. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before.”

Connor was too tired to argue. He let himself be manhandled until they deemed him fit for the public eye again. After he was dressed in fresh clothes, Ethan handed him one last item.

Taking it in his hands, Connor unfolded it, throat growing tight as he recognized it as one of Will’s hoodies.

“Grabbed it from his locker,” Ethan said, not quite meeting his eye. “He may or may not need a new lock.”

Stifling his laugh against the fabric, Connor took a moment to breathe in Will’s scent before putting it on. “I’ll replace it,” he said. Connor looked around at the three of them, ducking his head in a grateful nod. “Thank you. All of you.”

“You’d do it for us,” Maggie said as April and Ethan nodded. “You and Will—you’re our family too, you know?”

Maggie and April hugged him while Ethan clapped a hand on his shoulder and steered the group of them out the door.

“Let’s go,” April said, breaking away to lead them toward the stairs. “The sooner we let everyone know the good news, the sooner you can go and see Will.”

Connor sped up, beating her to the stairwell.

He didn’t want to wait another second.

***

Mouse

Bex stirred shortly after Jay and Chris left the room. She blinked blearily at him.

“Mouse?”

“Hey,” he said, leaning in. “I’m right here.”

“Will?”

He shook his head. “Nothing new yet.”

“Time izzit?”

“Uh, late?” Mouse laughed softly, letting go of her hand to pull out his phone. “Yeah, it’s after midnight.”

“You should go home,” she mumbled. “Get sleep.”

“I’m good right here,” he said before pausing as doubt crept in. “Unless, I mean…do you want me to go home?” He seriously didn’t want to do that, but if she didn’t want him here, he’d go and sit in the hall or something.

“No, wan’ you to stay.” Bex frowned, reaching for him and he took her hand again. “But…”

“But what?” he prompted when she trailed off.

“We were gonna have our big date,” she sniffled. “And now you’re stuck taking care of me.”

Mouse reached out with his free hand to gently wipe away the tears that were welling up in her eyes. “Bex, if it was me in this bed and you in this chair, would you consider yourself stuck taking care of me?”

“Can’t shake my head,” she grumbled. “Hurts. But you know.”

“Yeah, I do.” Knew without a doubt she’d be doing the exact same thing if their situation was reversed. Wouldn’t even question it. “Of course, I want to be here, Bex,” he said. “I lo—”

“No!” Bex’s eyes flew open and she winced back against the soft light. “No, don’t—”

“Don’t what?” Mouse hoped the problem wasn’t what he thought it was.

“Don’t say it,” she whispered and his heart sank. Did she not—not that she had to. They’d come so far already. It didn’t mean she had to be ready to say or even be ready to hear—

“Stop,” Bex said, squeezing his fingers. “Stop thinking bad stuff. It’s not—I just—I don’t want you to say that because of today. We can’t—it’s not fair.” She paused, closing her eyes and taking a breath before opening them again. The next sentence came out slowly. Deliberately. “I don’t want that memory to be tied with today. Does that—do you know what I mean?”

Once he’d parsed through her words and thought about it, he did. They both deserved better than a declaration that was partially a knee-jerk reaction to fear and trauma.

But this was—it wasn’t that. It was different and more than that in its own way and he couldn’t let it go, not completely. “I promise this is not me saying it or making a big declaration,” he said. “But I need to say this. Please.”

“Okay,” Bex whispered, giving his hand another gentle squeeze.

“I almost lost you today.” Mouse shook his head, trying to clear away the haunting images from the last few hours and focus on what he wanted to say. “I heard that shot and for a few horrible minutes, I had to live in a world where I didn’t know if you were still in it or not.” He scrubbed at his face with his free hand and Bex made a soft sound.

“Yeah, it was, uh, it was kind of terrifying,” Mouse said. “I kept thinking, I haven’t said enough. I haven’t—I haven’t shown her how much she means to me.”

“Mouse—”

“Hey, you promised.”

She pressed her lips together tight and watched him with shiny eyes.

Mouse took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. “You’re my family, Bex,” he said. “You and Jay. And you know—you’ve, uh, you’ve been that for a lot longer that you and I have been circling each other.” He tapped his fingers against his chest. “You’re here. You’re a part of my heart—like, a pretty large and permanent piece. That’s, uh, that’s what I needed you to know. I’m full of regular, lower-case love. For you.”

He didn’t even want to think about what it would have felt like if he’d lost her and never had a chance to tell her that.

“Nothing regular about it,” Bex whispered.

True.

But she was right before—now wasn’t the time for that. Mouse could wait until it was.

They both deserved that.

Bex tugged him closer and he hugged her as carefully as he could. She mumbled something against his chest.

“What was that?” Mouse pulled back, still hovering close though as he returned to his seat.

“I said I’m full of regular, lower-case love for you too,” she said, sighing into her pillow. “If you were wondering. And to be clear about what kind of moment we’re having.”

“Still a good moment.” Mouse raised her hand and pressed a kiss into her fingers. “You gonna let me take care of you now?”

“Yeah.” Bex sighed. “My feet are freezing.”

He grinned, remembering the bag from Lucy that Ed had given him. “I’m on it.”

***

Jay

“Hey,” Jay whispered as he and Chris came back into the room. The 51 crew had headed back out on shift and Chris had managed to convince Bex and Emery’s friends to go with Platt and rest in the ICU lounge. It had better couches and was closer to Emery. And the three of them had Bex covered for now. “How’s she doing?”

“Her medicine’s really kicking in and she was pretty out of it,” Mouse said. He looked down at Bex and the side of his mouth ticked up in a smile. “She was, uh, she was pretty cold and I got her some socks, but that wasn’t enough so she tried to talk me into getting in the bed with her. Said I was warmer and she wanted to sleep inside me like a tauntaun. I gave her my hoodie instead.”

Jay pressed a hand to his mouth, trying to smother his laugh as Chris looked between the two of them in confusion.

“Like a what now?”

“A tauntaun,” Mouse repeated. “It’s from Star Wars—when they’re on Hoth and Luke is about to freeze to death so Han cuts it open—”

“And stuffs him inside!” Chris finished for him, finally making the connection. “She said that? What the hell, Bex?”

Jay snorted at Chris’s flabbergasted look, but then they all froze when Bex stirred, holding their breath until she settled again under Mouse’s hoodie.

Chris shook his head as he stared at her. “She’s such a weirdo,” he whispered, half to himself. “I raised a friggin’ weirdo.”

That set off another round of laughter in Jay that he tried to keep quiet, but he lost it again when Mouse just shrugged and said, “I thought it was sweet.”

Jay dropped down into one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands, muffling the sound as his shoulders shook with giggles.

Chris sat down beside him and patted his back. “Okay there, Jay?”

He sat back up, wiping at his face, a little startled to realize there were tears running down his face. “Yeah,” he said, sniffling. “Shit.” Mouse handed him a tissue and Jay wiped at his nose. He sighed. “I just—I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Chris said and Mouse murmured his agreement.

“I, uh, I wish Will had been here for that,” Jay said, turning to Chris. “Your face—”

“You can tell him all about it when we see him,” Chris said quietly before grinning. “In full detail so he can roast Bex too.”

“What are we roasting Bex for?” a tired voice asked for the doorway.

The three of them were on their feet as soon as they turned to see Connor standing there.

“How is he? How did it go? Is he okay? Is he—is he good?” Question after question spilled out of Jay as Connor stepped back to bring them out into the hallway. Maggie, April, and Ethan were standing there along with a doctor Jay had never met. Chris joined them in the hall and Mouse hung back in the doorway, keeping one eye on Bex.

“He’s okay,” Connor said, reaching out to squeeze Jay’s shoulder.

Jay slumped back against the wall in relief. “That’s—I mean, Ms. Goodwin said it was going well, but I’m really, really happy to hear that.”

“You and me both.” Connor gestured to the short woman standing beside him in wrinkled scrubs. “This is Dr. Allan,” he said. “She performed the surgery on Will and can give you all of the details.” He came over to rest on the wall beside Jay, leaning into his side a bit as they listened to Dr. Allan give the details on Will’s injuries and how he was doing.

Which was pretty good for someone who got a big hole blasted through their middle.

There was a long list of things they were keeping an eye on and things they’d have to watch for—most of which Jay was going to have to get Connor to translate for him later—but he made it. And he was going to be okay.

And Bex made it. And she was going to be okay.

And Emery made it. And if there was any justice in the world, she was going to be okay too.

Jay didn’t think he could ask for much more than that.

Dr. Allan left after giving her update and Maggie, April, and Ethan said their good-byes shortly after that. Maggie with strict instructions for Connor to get some sleep.

Good advice for all of them at this point.

“Well?” Chris shot a look at him and Connor and Mouse. “How do we wanna do this? Divide and conquer?”

“I’ll go with Connor and you stay here with Mouse?” Jay suggested.

“Keep our phones on and keep in touch,” Connor added.

“Works for me,” Mouse said, nodding at them, already turning back toward Bex’s bed.

“Go team,” Chris said with a little grin. “Say what you want, but we sure can handle a crisis.” He gave Jay and Connor a pair of back-slapping hugs before heading into the room.

Connor and Jay stood there in the hall for a moment while Connor checked his messages for Will’s new room number.

“Mind if we take the stairs?” Connor asked as they started walked and Jay shook his head. “Thanks,” he sighed. “Think I need a few days before I can step foot in the elevator again.”

Jay got it. Probably more than Connor realized. But he was also happy Will was only one floor up. He could’ve forced himself to do more if he had to, but the sooner he could find a chair to pass out in, the better.

“So,” Connor began while they both focused on putting one foot in front of the other up the stairs. “What are we roasting Bex for?”

The laugh Jay let out echoed around them in the stairwell. “Apparently she was cold and the socks Mouse had weren’t cutting it…”

***

Connor

The sun was peeking up over the horizon when Will finally woke up.

Connor had been watching him, cataloguing every breath and twitch he’d had since they’d moved him into this room, waiting for that first flutter of his eyelids.

Not wanting to miss it.

Not quite able to believe Will was going to be okay until Connor could look into his eyes.

“Will?” he whispered, gripping his hand as he leaned in. “Hey. There you are. Hi.”

“C’nr…” Will mumbled, groaning softly as he scrunched his eyes shut again for a moment.

“I’m here,” Connor said quietly. “You gonna wake up so I can see those pretty brown eyes?”

Will blinked a few times before managing to focus on him. “Hi.” A loud snore cut through the quiet and Will’s eyes widened. “Was that me?”

“No.” Connor shook his head with a little laugh. “That was Jay.” He shifted to the side so Will could see his brother sacked out in a chair on the other side of the room. “He’s been pretty worried about you guys.”

“Bex—”

“Is okay,” Connor cut in quickly, running a gentle hand through Will’s hair. “She’s got a mild concussion and a little bit more rib damage, but she’s been checked out and Chris and Mouse are with her now.”

“Good. Okay.” Will settled back into his pillows with a quiet hum, face tilting into Connor’s hand still stroking his hair. “Hey, Con?”

“Yeah, Will?”

A tired, but still fully shit-eating grin spread across Will’s face. “Saved your life.”

The surprised laugh that burst out of Connor quickly became mixed with sobs. “My hero,” he managed to get out.

“C’mere.” Will pulled him in for a hug, fumbling to pat at him with clumsy hands as Connor buried his face into his neck. They stayed like that for awhile until another snore from Jay had them giggling and pulling apart.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Connor whispered as he tangled Will’s fingers in his. Every bit of fear and frustration and anger from the last few hours bubbled up in his throat, but Connor swallowed it back when he saw Will’s eyes already starting to fall shut.

“’m sorry,” Will mumbled. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” Connor leaned in, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. “So much.”

Another little smile flitted across Will’s face before it relaxed as he fell asleep again. Connor scooted his chair forward, keeping Will’s hand tight in his and rested his other arm on the bed. He watched his chest rise and fall, needing to reassure himself a little while longer before he could close his eyes.

That Will was still here. Still alive.

Still Connor’s.

***

Saturday morning

***

Bex

Bex was miserable.

Everything hurt.

Everything.

Chris and Mouse had told her that Will made it through surgery and was doing well and Dr. Latham was happy with how Emery’s stats were trending although they were keeping her sedated for a while longer.

But Bex wasn’t allowed to go and see either of them.

Wasn’t allowed to move.

Not that she could move much if she wanted to because again, everything hurt.

But still. She wanted—needed to see them both. For herself.

Apparently, that was out of the question.

She was trying not to be miserable—on the outside at least—because she could see how tired and stressed everyone was and she didn’t want to add to that, but if she wasn’t going to be allowed to see Will or Emery, the least people could do was leave her alone.

“So, this Detective Medeiros,” Mouse was saying, bouncing his leg as he sat beside her bed, like he always did when he was nervous or stressed. “She wants to ask you some questions about what happened and she was hoping to take some pictures of, uh, of your injuries.” His head whipped up and his eyes met hers as he frowned. “But you don’t have to, Bex,” he said. “We can do it tomorrow or never. It’s up to you.”

Never honestly sounded pretty good. But Bex knew that wasn’t really an option. “It would help the case though, wouldn’t it?”

Mouse nodded reluctantly and Bex sighed.

That was important. Probably more important than how she was feeling right now. She wanted to know she’d done everything she could to make sure Ty gets put away for hopefully forever this time. And she knew enough about how things worked to realize this—her statements, her injuries—were all important pieces to making that happen.

“I’ll do it,” she said.

“We can stay with you,” Chris said quietly from where he’d been standing at the end of her bed. “If you want.”

“No,” Bex said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly judging from the tiny flash of hurt crossing both of their faces. “It’s not that I don’t want you here…”

But she didn’t want them to see.

Not yet.

Not when the little glimpses she’d caught on her own today showed ugly purpling skin and angry red scrapes. Technicolour violence that hurt to look at. She knew it would hurt worse to see them looking at it. Whether that made sense to them or not, she just—she couldn’t have them here.

Not for this.

“Is Cindy here?” she asked and Chris’s face softened with understanding.

“She’s already on her way,” he said. “I’ll let Detective Medeiros know we’re waiting until she gets here.”

“Anyone else?” Mouse asked. “There’s time to get them and you should have as much support as you want for this, Bex.”

Bex thought it over. Dr. Fahir was going to be there to help document her injuries. Even though they’d only met yesterday and under some pretty crap circumstances, Bex liked her. She was straightforward and…kind, but not in a pitying kind of way. Bex had a feeling she’d help make the process as short and too the point as possible.

She honestly didn’t want many more people in there with her. It was going to be hard enough without feeling like she was on display.

“Just Cindy, please.”

Twenty minutes later, her room had been cleared of everyone except for Detective Medeiros, Dr. Fahir, and Cindy. The door was closed. The lights were still low. And Cindy had a gentle grip on her good arm.

“We’ll go as slow as you need to, Bex,” Detective Medeiros said. “Let’s start at the beginning…”

***

Chris

Chris paced the hall as he typed away in the 51 group chat. Everyone had been making plans to come by and see Bex, but he’d had to nip that in the bud. She hadn’t been in any shape for that this morning and she definitely wasn’t going to be after this interview.

They all understood, obviously, but had wrangled a promise from him to let them know as soon as they could come by. No one was going to be happy until they’d had a chance to see her for themselves. And he had a suspicion there was some kind of giant card in the works.

Maybe that would put a smile on her face.

Not that she wasn’t trying to put on a good front, but even her best front didn’t much of a chance against what she was dealing with. Poor kid had been through the wringer and she was in pain. So much pain. Chris hated seeing her like that.

He just wished there was something more he could do to help. To make it better.

Wished he could be in there with her right now.

At least she let Cindy in. Cindy could always see right through her and she’d put a pause on things if Bex needed it, even if Bex wouldn’t. Especially when.

Kid was too damn good at plowing her way through shit.

She’d fallen apart a bit yesterday, but Chris could see her already shoring things up. Putting her focus on Will and Emery. The case.

What she needed to focus on was herself. He hadn’t been joking yesterday when he said getting her to do that would be a battle.

He needed to make some kind of game plan with Jay and Mouse and Cindy and anyone else who was going to help take care of her. Make sure she didn’t try to plow her way through recovery.

Chris stopped his pacing when the door to Bex’s room finally opened. Cindy, Detective Medeiros, and Dr. Fahir came out and Mouse slipped back inside.

“Thank you for all of your help,” Detective Medeiros said to Cindy and Dr. Fahir. “I’ll be in touch.” She nodded at Chris before heading down the hall.

“I need to start my rounds,” Dr. Fahir said. “But I’ll be back to check on Bex soon.” She patted Cindy’s arm with a smile before leaving.

“Hey, hun, how did—” Chris didn’t even get the question out before Cindy was throwing herself into his arms and burying her face in her chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight when he felt how much she was shaking. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here. Talk to me, Cinds, please.”

“It’s not okay,” Cindy said, voice muffled by his shirt. She finally looked up at him with red eyes, sniffling as she shook her head. “It’s not—Christopher, she—what he did? God, he hurt her. He hurt her so much and I’m just—oh, I am so angry. I want him to pay and I want him gone and I want to never ever let Bex out of our sight.” She let out a hiccupping sob as he pulled her close again.

“I’ve already been working on my pitch to convince her to move into our house,” Chris said, running his hands up and down her back as he kissed the side of her head.

Cindy huffed out a laugh. “The kids would be over the moon.” Then she sighed. “How do we get her through this?”

“It’s just gonna take time,” he said. “And patience.”

“I wish there was something we could do right now,” she said. “Something that would help even a little bit.”

“Actually, I think I have an idea about that.”

***

Jay

Jay sat up as he read through the text from Chris. He’d been trying to distract himself while Will slept, knowing he couldn’t pop down and see Bex while she was being interviewed.

Detective Medeiros wanted to keep them separate since Jay was a witness.

He knew why—it was a process he’d been on the other side of any number of times—but knowing the why, knowing the process almost made it worse.

He knew exactly what Bex was going through right now. Reliving everything. Having to sit there and be catalogued.

At least Cindy was there with her.

And now Chris had a genius idea that would probably be helpful to not only Bex, but Will too.

The soft sounds of conversation had him standing and walking over to the bed. Connor and Will both looked up at him, pausing their quiet chat.

“Feel up for a chat with Bex?” Jay asked, waving his phone at Will.

“Yes!” Will’s eyes lit up. Jay laughed at the grabby hands he made, shooting off a confirmation to Chris.

“Okay, let’s get you set up.” Between him and Connor, they very carefully moved Will into a slightly more raised position. Jay grabbed the table tray and moved it into place before setting his phone on top. He started up a video chat with Chris who answered after a few seconds.

Sort of.

“Chris,” Jay called out as Will and Connor chuckled beside him. “Chris! You’ve gotta—you’ve got the camera turned around, man—”

“Aw, heck.” Chris’s muffled voice came through the speaker and then finally, instead of a view of a table and sheets, they saw Bex’s face.

All three of them tried to cover their shock, but Will couldn’t quite stop the wince at the sharp breath he took. She’d been in rough shape yesterday, but now that her bruises were starting to come up, it was—it was hard to see.

“Will?” Her voice shook a bit as she peered at the screen.

“Hey, Bex,” Will said, smiling softly at her.

“Hi.” She smiled back…and then her face crumpled and she burst into tears.

“Oh, shit.” Will tried to reach for the phone, but fell back with a grunt. Connor grabbed it and held it closer for him. “Bex, I’m here. I’m okay, see? Dr. Allan said I’m going to be fine.”

That didn’t help much. Bex just cried harder and Jay was at a loss for what to do. She might hurt herself at this rate.

Chris’s face came on the screen, looking tense. “Hey, guys,” he said. “We’re gonna hang up for now and maybe try this later, okay?”

“Chris?” Will called out faintly.

“Yeah, bud?”

“Just…give her a hug for me, okay?”

Chris nodded at the screen. “Always.” The call ended and the three of them slumped back.

“Well,” Jay said eventually. “That didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.”

“Help me up.” Will held out a hand to Connor, shaking it impatiently when he didn’t take it. “Come on, we can get me in a wheel chair and I can go down and see her.”

“Absolutely not,” Connor said, crossing his arms as he stared Will down.

“I’m in better shape than she is right now—”

“Bullshit!” Connor exclaimed.

“Dude, you were shot,” Jay chimed in. “You might have come through surgery okay, but now’s not the time to get cocky.”

Connor nodded, but Will ignored him to point a finger at Jay. “Yeah, I’m not taking advice from you on how to safely navigate recovery.”

Rude.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Connor sliced his arms through the air, cutting off the rest of their argument. “Listen, there’s a solution here that I think will make everyone happy. I can make it happen, but there’s one condition.”

“I’m listening,” Will said slowly.

***

Chris

Chris was on board as soon as he heard Connor’s plan. He didn’t care about what anyone else thought at this point. He couldn’t sit through Bex crying like that again. Not if he could help it.

Or Connor, rather.

Dr. Fahir took a bit of convincing, but she agreed to it once she realized they could get it all done while Bex was sleeping. Minimal disruption seemed to be her magic words.

It was actually kind of fun, whispering and sneaking a whole hospital bed through the halls while Bex slept. She was going to be so surprised when she woke up.

Oh, god. Chris hoped she didn’t cry again.

That would be counterproductive.

As the medical team worked on getting Bex set up in the new space, Chris went to stand beside Jay, whistling under his breath. “This is pretty sweet,” he said, looking around at the spacious private room. Will and Bex’s beds were side by side, but there was also not one, but two couches and a few plush arm chairs. Chris lowered his voice, tilting his head toward Jay. “How much do you think—”

“Ah.” Jay held up a finger. “That’s the one condition,” he said. “We’re not allowed to ask how much it costs. Something about not wanting to have to fight about it with Will later.”

“Fair enough.” Chris nodded. “But seriously, is he like loaded loaded because this is a crazy nice room.”

Jay shushed him, shaking his head as he laughed.

“Yeah, alright, no more questions.” Chris grinned at him. “Man, I kind of want to wake Bex up just to see her face. I’m joking!” He held his hands up when Dr. Fahir sent a glare his way.

Time to go sit on that fancy looking couch and stay out of the way. He plopped himself down and immediately waved Cindy and Jay over. “You gotta try this. It’s better than Jay’s!”

***

Bex

Bex blinked as she slowly began to surface, eyes still a bit sore from her, ugh, ridiculous cry session from earlier. She started to rub at them and someone gently pulled her hand away.

She blinked again, focusing. “Jay?”

“Hey, sleepy head.”

“Why aren’t you with Will?” He was supposed to be keeping an eye on him along with Connor. He shouldn’t—

“I am,” Jay said, grinning as he stepped back.

Bex squinted in the dim light, looking around the room. Mouse was on her other side. Chris and Cindy were…on a couch? Where did that come from?

Wait.

Was this a different room?

A quiet chuckle on her right had her turning to see Connor standing beside…another bed? And—

“Will?”

“Surprise!” He waved at her while Connor did jazz hands.

“How—”

“They decided to put all of their problem cases in one room,” Jay said, quirking an eyebrow at her. Chris snorted and Cindy shook her head, leaving the couch to go and stand beside Connor.

“Ignore them,” Cindy said, wrapping an arm around Connor’s waist. “It was his idea and he made it happen too.”

“Thank you,” Bex whispered to him and he came over to give her a smooch on her forehead.

“Now I can keep an eye on you both,” he said,

“Can we bring Emery in here too?” Bex asked hopefully, but Connor shook his head.

“Not yet,” he said. “She’s needs to stay in the ICU, but I promise you they’re keeping a close eye on her and she’s doing really well.”

“For now, you focus on resting,” Chris said, turning a stern eye on her and Will. “Both of you.”

Bex looked over at Will and he smiled at her again. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” she said, trying her best not to tear up again at the sight of him. Here. Alive.

“You know what I think would help us rest right now?”

“What?” Bex asked, voice going hoarse.

“French fries.”

They both laughed and then groaned, clutching at their sides.

“Okay, maybe this wasn’t the best idea,” Connor said, shaking his head at the two of them.

“No,” Bex said. “It’s perfect.”

***

Statesville Correctional Center

The guard—Peters—stood outside of the cell, shifting his weight on his feet nervously.

He was the perfect kind of lackey. Easily bought and yet ferociously loyal after the fact. And still wary enough of the stories he’d heard to have a healthy amount of fear during their dealings.

He’d certainly lasted longer than some of the others.

And he was proving himself to be quite diligent.

“That name you wanted me to keep an ear out for,” Peters said. “It came up. There was an attack.”

That deserved attention. “What happened?”

“Domestic of some kind, it sounds like? Trying to help her friend?” Peters shrugged. His attention to detail would need to be addressed. All in good time.

“And?”

“And what?” Peters squinted at him.

“How is she?”

“Oh! She’s alive, but it sounds like she’s pretty banged up,” Peters said. “They got her at Med.”

A hospital stay.

Hm.

Distressing.

He should send flowers.

“Thank you, Peters,” he said, dismissing the man. “Let me know if you hear anything else.”

Waiting until Peters was on the other side of the doors, he headed back to his bunk, digging out his phone. A few messages had his plan in motion.

But what to send?

He couldn’t include a card. Not yet. It was too risky.

But flowers had their own beautiful language. If he picked carefully, there would be no way his songbird wouldn’t know they were from him.

***

Sunday

***

Cindy

“More flowers!” Cindy exclaimed as Chris accepted another delivery.

Will and Bex’s room was almost overflowing with flowers and balloons and treats that neither of them were cleared to eat, but that Chris, Connor, Jay, and Mouse were steadily working their way through.

“Oh, those are beautiful.” Cindy took the bouquet of red asters and set them over by the window. She plucked out the card and, hunh, that was funny. “They say they’re for Bex, but there’s no message or name on it. Any idea who they could be from?”

Bex frowned as she stared at them. “No,” she said. “I feel like everyone I know has already sent something so I have no clue.” She frowned harder. “I want to be able to thank them though.”

“Why don’t we post a picture,” Cindy suggested, scooping up Bex’s phone. “We can put it on all of your accounts so you can say thank you and mention there was no name on the card. Maybe it was just a mistake and whoever they’re from will speak up.”

“That’s a good idea.” She sighed. “Would you mind doing it? I’m not supposed to look at screens still.”

“I’m on it,” Cindy said, setting up the shot. “Hashtag, beautiful flowers. Hashtag, mystery gift!”

Bex giggled a bit which was exactly what Cindy had been hoping for. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Ten bucks says Capp will try to pretend it was him,” Chris said.

“Hand it over then because he sent those daisies,” Bex said, pointing at the shelf behind him.

The rest of the guys laughed as Chris squawked and stalked over to read the card. “Hunh. He didn’t even try to piggy back on Tony’s gift. That’s a first.”

Bex wasn’t wrong about pretty much everyone they knew sending something. They’d had to be pretty firm about spacing out the visits and keeping them to one or two people at a time so Bex and Will didn’t get overwhelmed. As it was, Cindy could already see them fading.

And no wonder. Her eyebrows flew up as she caught sight of the time. “It’s lunchtime! I bet you’re all starving.” She set Bex’s phone down and started hustling Christopher toward the door. “We’ll go grab something and bring it back up here. Any requests?”

“I will eat literally anything you put in front of me,” Will said.

“Not you, mister.” Cindy waggled a finger at him. “I’ll be following your restrictions until Dr. Allen tells me otherwise.”

“Cindy, anything you can grab will be wonderful,” Connor said, reaching for his wallet. “Let me—”

“Nope.” Mouse beat him to it, handing a card over to Cindy. “This one’s on me.”

“Ooh, get extra cookies,” Jay called out from where he was lounging beside Bex’s bed.

“Thank you, Mouse,” Cindy said, ignoring the general shenanigans of the room and utterly charmed by how he blushed when she smiled at him. “Behave yourselves,” she told the rest of them. “We’ll be back soon.”

Soon turned out to be a generous estimate.

Christopher, sick of hospital food, insisted on going to a sub shop “nearby” that was apparently delicious, but still took almost ten minutes to get to. It was a hole in the wall kind of place with a perfectly worn feel that made her think his claims of deliciousness probably weren’t too far off. That and it was incredibly busy—even for a lunch time rush.

Forty minutes later, they made it back to the room with their miniature feast only to find the whole gang passed out cold.

Will and Bex were asleep in their beds. Connor was curled up in an arm chair beside Will’s bed and Jay was sacked out on one of the couches. Mouse was tucked in on the edge of Bex’s bed, one hand gently keeping hold of her un-splinted arm.

“Guess this’ll have to keep,” Chris whispered to her, smiling as he shook his head at their family. They put everything that needed to be kept cold in the fridge and left the rest on the table. Chris tugged on her hand, leading her over to the other couch and pulling her down into his lap.

Cindy relaxed back into him with a sigh.

It was the first truly peaceful feeling moment they’d had since Friday. Cindy could hardly believe everything that had happened since then. It was too overwhelming.

Took her right back to—to when Chris was here and they all rallied together, scared and unsure of what was going to happen, but helping each other through it as best they could.

It made her want to weep sometimes, how much violence and heartache her family had been through. How many scars they now bore.

“You look like you’re thinking heavy thoughts,” Christopher murmured, nuzzling his nose into her hair. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I just—” Cindy brought her hands up to press over her stomach. “What kind of world are we bringing this little bean into?”

Chris was quiet for a moment before he placed a hand over hers. “One where they’ll be surrounded by family,” he said slowly. “A family that will support them and help them learn how to be strong and smart and kind and brave and silly. It’ll be a world where they will always, always know that they are loved.” He held her close. “Always.”

She tilted her head back to look at him. “How did you get so wonderful and wise?”

“You.” Chris smiled, leaning in to give her a kiss. He gave her a little squeeze before settling the both of them into the back of the couch. “Now, come on and get comfy,” he said. “We need to get back into practice.”

“What on earth are you talking about, Christopher?”

He gestured at their sleeping family. “Gotta sleep when the babies sleep, right?” Cindy stifled a giggle and he shushed her. “I’m serious!” he whispered, fighting his own giggles. “Nap time!”

Their giggles settled down as he snuggled into her side and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep and Cindy followed him soon after.

***

Bex

Bex cracked her eyes open, smiling to herself as she watched Cindy and Chris sleep tangled up in each other on the couch.

Mouse stirred beside her. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

She thought about it for a moment before answering. “Yeah.” Definitely not all the way, not yet and maybe not for awhile, but—

“I will be,” Bex said.

Because she had her family. One that was strong and smart and kind and brave and silly and that she knew always, always loved her.

Click here to read on ao3:

A/N #2: If you haven't read the rest of the series, that Statesville scene is a call back to one that happened in a 'Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty.' Consider this to be the start of a slow burn villain arc.

A/N #3: I'll do another 'coming up next' post for those of you who enjoy spoilers so keep an eye out for that.

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat, @emme-looou, @trulylavandedarling

#a herrmann/halstead production #one chicago #chicago fire #chicago pd #chicago med #rebecca 'bex' herrmann #jay halstead #oc character #will halstead #christopher herrmann #greg “mouse” gerwitz x original female character #greg “mouse” gerwitz #greg gerwitz #whump #hurt/comfort #trauma #whump fic #angst #rhodestead #will halstead x connor rhodes

[americaswritings]

Chicago PD Masterlist

Jay Halstead

When we fall (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3)

You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

#jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n #one chicago #chicago pd #chicago pd x you #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd jay halstead #jesse lee soffer #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead angst #jay halstead fluff #chicago med #chicago med oneshot #chicago med x you #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine #chicago med fanfiction #one chicago fanfiction #one chicago oneshots #one chicago x reader #one chicago headcanon #connor rhodes x sister