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#jaybird

i know yall dont give a shit about my first day as a sub rn probably??? but i dont care so sit down. OKAY so like they introduced me as the new sub and tutor for the 5th grade class right?? and they were introducing me as “Mr. Todd” and all i could think was ‘what kinda goofy ass name is mr. todd‘so i told them to just call me jason/mr. jason instead cause i cant fathom someone calling me sir like unironically and with genuine respect for an elder who doesn’t even know how taxes work and like?? the teacher kept looking at me?? like i was nuts??? like dude these kids are like 8 or some shit who cares if they say mr or not, its a child.

anyway dick said i’d be a bad parental figure because of that and honestly i dont blame him. i think i’d do better as like the cool uncle who drives you places on his motorcycle like a Cool Uncle and buys you all the shit your parents wouldnt and beats up people that bully you and probably has personal bodyguards for you that are making sure you get home safe and stuff like that. also i dont have the raise the kid like 24/7 and get to be the fun figure rather than the disciplinary one so like OBVIOUSLY that’s a much better route

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Jason: *Muttering lowly* The floor is wet.

Roy: What? I didn’t hear you.

Jason: *Ignores Roy*

2 minutes later

Roy: *On the floor*  I hate everything.

Jason: *Smirking* I warned you. It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.

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Robin!Jason: *Does some shit*

Bruce: Minus 5 points.

Robin!Jason: What?

Bruce: I began to score your behaviour. When you’re on 100 points, I’ll take you on patrol.

Robin!Jason: Oh, cool. What’s my score?

Bruce: -1,298

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Jaytim aesthetics

- Leather jackets that swallow a small person whole

- The smell of smoke and alcohol while softly kissing

- Trying to get warm from the other persons body heat

- listening to each others heartbeats

-Bear hugs

- Pushing a computer away so you can get attention

-Being taller then the other ones

-Nose nuzzles

image
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Robin!Jason: I’m an ugmo!

Bruce: That’s not true. You’re cute as a bug’s ear.

Robin!Jason: Fathers have to say that stuff.

Bruce: Dad, am I as cute as a bug’s ear?

Alfred: No! You’re homely as a mule’s butt!

Bruce: There, see?

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this is a call out post for my toxic bf :/

he dates and flirts w other people because apparently we’re “poly” and i’m “totally okay and supportive of this”. he also doesn’t like my bad jokes and makes me horny at work.

0/10 i hope he is cancelled and that he can be better in the future, smh

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