#jean kirstein fanfiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plutoccult · 5 months

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MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE

pairing: jean kirstein x female reader

description: a few years after the successful peace negotiations, you and jean celebrate his first birthday with your new baby boy, but jean can’t help but look back on what it took to get to this day after dreaming of it as much as he could hope to live without breathing.

word count: 1.2k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: something short and sweet that’s not soul crushing angst. a shocker on my end, really. BUT, the attack on titan anime has finally ended. it’s like a chapter of my life is over, but a chapter ending only means a new one beginning. i always wanted to write something that depicted some sort of event after the end of the story, so it’s nice to fully bring that vision into fruition. i love writing for jean and i’ll miss him and the rest of the characters so very much, but the writing doesn’t end here for me! more content will come out of me until i get bored of it. i do, however, hope you enjoy this little fluff piece.

when dreaming about what life could be without titans or any worries, jean always knew what the perfect life would be for him. it was always consisted of the same fantasy; sitting out on a balcony with a glass of the finest liquor in hand, wife inside the house, and a newborn baby with the cutest, most innocent smile in his wife’s arms. the ideal daydream used to have a faceless woman, then mikasa took over for a brief second after being struck by her upon their first meeting, but now it’s been the same face for many, many years. since falling head over feet completely, jean could now only picture his future with you bearing his love and his children, and only that would be the perfect life for him. nothing else, just you.

sometimes jean wondered what life would be like if marco were still around. who would have died in his place instead of him that day? who would’ve had to deal with the pain of losing their best friend instead of him? would he live next door to jean’s dream home and babysit the kids whenever? jean liked to imagine marco as the perfect uncle. uncle marco. if only it could all be real. even so, all these years later, he was grateful for the life he had been given.

after years of hell fighting for the greater good, jean was finally able to settle down and live that perfect life he so desperately craved in his youth. he wasn’t very young anymore; small wrinkles began to form, his muscles grew tired far more easily, signs that he was starting to grow old, but not quite just yet. there was still more life to live, so much more he could live for.

today was jean’s birthday, and just like his teenage fantasies, he sat on a balcony with a glass of whiskey just as he imagined. the view of the town he lived in was great, but not the greatest. the only difference between jean’s dreams and his reality that there wasn’t a barrier between him and what he wanted most; you, holding your little baby boy in your arms.

caught in the middle of daydreaming, you emerge from inside the house and join jean on the balcony with your son. you gently grab the baby’s hand and pretend to act like he’s the one waving to jean, which makes him smile.

“does baby marco want to say hi to daddy?” you coo while jean looked at the two of you in awe. naming your child after marco was always in the cards, neither of you doubted it for a second when you both expressed wanting children. it was just the most beautiful thing in the world when he was finally born, after all this time of knowing what you wanted.

“here, lemme hold him.” jean offered, extending his arms out for baby marco. you carefully hand him over then sit down and watch as the infant reached his hands out to grab jean’s face, who was gently cradling him in his arms. “he’s getting so big now, i can’t even believe it.”

“i know.” you say with a smile on your face. “by the way, some letters came in the mail for you.”

“from who?” he questioned.

“armin and mikasa, of course. reiner and pieck too.” you began to ramble, listing off the names of all who sent letters for jean on his birthday. “oh, can’t forget connie. and then levi sent something that gabi and falco seemed to have signed—”

“so… pretty much everyone?” jean interrupted with a chuckle.

“queen historia as well.” you end off the list, giggling to yourself for forgetting such an important name. you simply can’t forget the queen, after all. “oopsie.”

“well, i oughta write everyone back as soon as possible.” he said, but you disagreed.

“you can write after cake, okay? i’ll go grab it now.” you say, standing up from your seat so you could head inside of the house.

“i told you i could make it.” jean insisted. “i don’t like making you do the work for me.”

although his words were sweet, you wouldn’t do that to him today out of all days. “make your own birthday cake? please. i’ll be right back.”

jean sat with baby marco close to him while you disappeared into the house for his birthday treat. you come back with a cake that has an array of lit candles, gently setting it down on the table as far away from the baby as possible. you take the baby out of jean’s hands while you sing happy birthday to him and sit across the table, your voice as soothing as the breeze.

when it was time for jean to blow out the candles and make a wish, he simply couldn’t think of anything to wish for. he finally had everything he ever wanted; the love of his life, a family of his own, and most importantly, peace. you both fought like hell a million times over to get here, doing things you regretted all the time. the past you shared together was ridden with sin, but the future didn’t have to be, and right now, the future was bright and golden like daylight.

if there was anything to possibly wish for, it was for things to stay just like this, so jean closed his eyes and blew out the candles and wished just for that. his eyes opened up to the sight of you and your son, and he was so happy to see it right in front of him.

“happy birthday, jean.” you say softly. baby marco beamed with the most innocent grin, his youthful laugh almost bringing jean to tears.

“thank you, my love.” he mustered up the words to say without crying.

jean insisted he cut the cake himself. seeing as you made it, this was the least he could do, and you didn’t argue. he sliced a piece for you first and set it down in front of you, watching as baby marco eyed the cake in complete awe.

jean’s eyes stray away from cutting his own piece as he found himself watching you with the baby. you were trying to eat your cake, but you couldn’t help but laugh at marco trying to get some of it from your fork.

“ah, no, no, no. you can’t have cake.” you coo, booping baby marco on the nose.

it was times like these that made jean so grateful. he captured even the smallest grain of a moment, cherishing every single one with the thought that tomorrow is not always promised, even when you two were free of the burdens of a solider saving humanity. no matter how many times he made a wish on some candies, there was always that “what if?” thought in the back of his brain that this some day would be taken away from him.

you look up and catch jean staring at you as if he were frozen, like he was taking a million pictures with his eyes. “what are you doing?”

“remembering this.” he simply replied, the best way he could put it all into words.

the love you had for each other and the life that’s been given to you would always be yours, all yours, and it would last beyond the very last breath both of you would take. in the end, all of the hardships were worth living to see this day.

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oh-meretseger · 27 days

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part 4 - Tease

attack on titan modern college au // Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

summary: the sexual frustration between you gets to its peak when your first kiss happens (🥹), starting a game of brutal teasing on both sides

notes: 18+! although not so much of a smut (some public touching and groping, making out hehe), mainly fluff, some cute moments before posting some disgustingly dirty smut in the next chapter lmao

word count: 4,6k

"Sasha, stop calling me pookie bear or I'm going ballistic" Jean calmly blinked in her direction after setting the empty box of pad thai down. Sasha was already on her third portion, mercilessly stuffing her face full like she's been starving for a week.

"But you're my pookie bear, what do you mean?" Sasha's jaw stopped chewing, stunned for a moment by hearing such astonishing nonsense, as she stared back at Jean. She notoriously got addicted to every single silly nickname she made up for her friends, and used it uncontrollably until she discovered a new one.

Jean let out an exhausted sigh, but still leaned back on his bed with a chuckle as he shook his head.

"And what about me?" Connie complained loudly from the other bed with a mouth full of noodles. None of the three were giving any more fucks about the movie playing on Connie's notebook in the background.

"You're my pookie pie"

"Yeah, I like pie" Connie shrugged, giving his blessing as Sasha nodded diligently.

"I know"

"Yeah, but I'm not a bear, so how does that work?" Jean huffed, holding back a smile at how Sasha's expression instantly turned outraged, just like he guessed.

"You are!" Sasha snapped at him and Jean laughed out loud. "You're a big ass hairy animal, but still cute and huggable"

"Ah right, thanks" Jean's ironic tone did not faze her in the slightest.

"I'm deeply sorry bro, but I wouldn't say you're cute, at all" Connie's eyes were back on the movie, although his attention was fully on the brilliant, highly knowledgeable conversation in the background.

"Y/N thinks you are" Sasha shrugged carelessly while ruthlessly devouring her last bites of dinner, and Jean's heart started pounding in his chest all of a sudden.

He cleared his throat to avoid choking on his own saliva, and tried to reply just as casually as Sasha spit out this small little information.

"What do you mean?" Jean couldn't believe how flustered he became by simply hearing your name. He didn't like it. The hell is his heart beating so fast for?

"She has the biggest crush on you, don't tell me you didn't notice" Sasha giggled to herself at Jean's honest, dumb expression. She found you two idiots adorable, pretending you didn't absolutely have the hots for each other.

"The hell are you on? They're at each other's throats all the fucking time" Connie turned his head at hearing such nonsensical gibberish.

"I truly feel sorry for you men sometimes" Sasha blinked at two of the most imbecile faces she's ever seen. "Are you really that slow?! Why in tarnation do you think I left you two alone?"

Jean felt heat spread through his body as images of you popped up in his memory, your warm body against his, teeth sunk into his skin...

"They fucked?!" Connie yelled out in shock and Jean couldn't help cracking up at how serious he sounded.

"Not YET" Sasha looked at Connie with a nod of true wisdom as Jean huffed in disapproval. Although deep inside, a feeling of excitement started to make him tingle.

"Shut your silly mouth, Sasha" Jean snapped at her, holding back a smile trying to climb up on his face all the way from his heart. "You've been acting a fool since you started latching onto that canteen guy"

"My brother in Christ, you're in denial" Sasha gave up. She already knew you were bound to be together anyway. "And I've always been silly, Niccolo just brings out the best in me"

"I love that guy, he makes the best risottos" Connie agreed in his own way, still pretending to watch the movie.

"He cooks me his secret special meals" she added, her eyes literally sparkling with pure bliss as she said those words, and Jean rolled his eyes. "I'm bringing him to your party, Consuelo"

"That's literally not my name" Connie stated, not even moving his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"Okay, Conrad"

"I'm texting Marco to come" Jean grabbed his phone, verbalizing his actions as both Sasha and Connie turned their head in excitement.

"Yesss, I miss Marco!"

You were rather anxious about this party. Connie's parents lived close to the campus, and the group of people Connie invited over to their house sounded fun when Sasha listed them all to you in detail. But still, there was something unnerving about a night of careless fun, coming out of your little shell and letting yourself go in front of such new people, in front of Jean.

"C'mon, we're gonna have an amazing time!" Sasha encouraged you after seeing a small anxious frown form on your face.

"I know, it's always an amazing time with you guys" you smiled, your heart pounding hard at the thought of seeing Jean at the party. "But what should I wear?"

"POOKIE, let me help you with that" Sasha jumped up from your bed and shot straight to your closet, as you watched her with an entertained grin.

You walked down the hallway on the way to your afternoon class, Friday leaving a freeing bliss in your chest as you listened to your playlist. The always busy corridor was now almost empty, everyone having left the stress of weekdays behind to finally enjoy their free time. Anxiety turned into a small glimpse of excitement in your stomach the past few days, and you couldn't wait for it to be tomorrow night.

Your headphones suddenly flying off of your head jerked you out of being in your own thoughts, and before you could even react, a strong hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a narrow passageway with an overwhelming force.

Your body crashed into a much larger frame, and a familiar sense of warmth flowed through you as Jean's smell hit your nose before you could even get a look at your kidnapper.

"Hey! Give it back!" your hand shot towards his immediately, but of course with one movement of his arm your headphones were instantly removed far from your reach, as he held it up above his head. A grin grew on his face as he looked down at you, his other hand still squeezing your wrist, and once again, you felt your cheeks get warm under his intense stare. That stupid cocky grin of his...

"D'you think I should?" Jean's voice was smooth and low, enough to make your mind go hazy. You couldn't believe how fast it all could get too much. His intoxicating scent, the warmth of his body as he towered over you, his fingers' touch on your skin, his voice and beautiful hazel eyes melting you into a puddle...

You felt weak.

"Can you stop doing that? My arm is getting all bruised up from you pulling on it" you sneered up at him, not even trying to get further away as your bodies pressed into each other. Jean's eyes slipped down to your plump lips as you mockingly smirked. "And kidnapping me"

"Kidnapping you? You could definitely not move your little hands around like that, if I were to kidnap you" Jean's raised hand inched lower and lower to slowly put your headphones around your neck as your eyes desperately pierced into his. You felt yourself melt into him, his look deliberately making you go soft and mindless, as his delicious-looking lips were so dangerously close to you...

As Jean's other hand became free, it slid down on the sleeve of your hoodie to grab your other wrist. The hard grip of his hands restraining yours was enough to make you soaking wet.

And that strangely made your confidence bounce right back.

"Why are you stalking me anyway?" you stared into his eyes with a self-assured smile slightly curving your lips.

Jean felt blood rush right to his crotch at the devilish sparkle in your eyes, almost visibly turning dark as you looked up at him. What a naughty girl.

Although weakness was palpable in the air between both of you. You both knew you would fold the moment your hips pressed into each other just a tad bit more.

Jean's hands gripping your wrists moved them behind your back with a swift motion.

"Don't think so highly of yourself, Miss Important" he smiled and you felt yourself blushing again as his arms pulled your body more into his, cuffing your hands behind you. Being controlled by Jean's big arms felt... Heavenly. "You want me to stalk you, don't you?"

"Unlike yourself, I'm not a pervert, dumbass" you let the magic word slip from between your lips, and warmth filled your chest as Jean cracked up. You felt like you could stay in his embrace forever, looking at his handsome face and beautiful smile endlessly... If your pussy didn't ache from the tension of being restrained by his tall frame. "You're lucky you have such pretty eyes, otherwise I would be kneeling on your back right now"

Your obvious joke of physically overcoming him flew right over his head as your words of praise reached his ears - and a slight tint of pink immediately dusted his cheeks. From ear to ear.

You couldn't believe your eyes.

"Jean" your smile grew into the widest grin as the rarest species on planet Earth, flustered Jean hesitated momentarily, looking into your eyes. "Are you-"

You stopped your own words. Instantly wanting to tease him was like a natural instinct, but in a matter of moments, your urge to deepen that adorable blush on his face became overwhelming. You wanted him to know how much your lips desired his at that very moment. You wanted to make him feel good, you wanted to feel good.

Jean felt your body rise onto tiptoes under his arms as your heels parted from the ground and in a second, your face reached his, your lips connecting in a soft kiss.

You immediately melted at feeling each other's lips, sensitive nerves making your hungry minds explode with pleasure. Jean felt all tension leave your body, and let go of one of your wrists to catch you from collapsing. You literally felt your knees give out. Jean's arm felt so strong as it snaked around your waist, you barely audibly whimpered into the kiss - and Jean felt himself grow hard at the sweet sound.

"Mmph y- your lips feel so good" you mumbled against his soft lips and Jean was seeing stars. He never imagined your honeylike voice to be able to make him crumble even more in real life, than on the phone the other day. Your body so hot against his, the touch of your lips so plump and sweet on his, your scent making him feel like he was drunk out of his mind.

Jean let out a quiet moan as your tongue danced along his lower lip, then slipped into his mouth eagerly. Immediately after you granted access, his tongue answered, sliding against yours, and you felt warmth flooding your pussy at the wet sounds you two were making. Jean's one hand gripping your wrist, the other one slowly sliding on the side of your waist, finding its way under your hoodie, making contact with the sensitive skin close to your breast...

It all felt so filthy, you were turned on beyond belief.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Jean grunted quietly after your lips parted, looking into your big, pleading eyes, but you already missed their warmth, so you softly pressed your lips back to his.

“What?” you whispered against him, your eyelids low from the heavenly feeling, and you felt Jean’s lips curve into a smile.

“You make me want to rip this off of you, right here, right now” Jean pulled on the sleeve of your hoodie, then with that same motion he grabbed your hand, removing it from its comfortable place on the side of his neck. You quietly whimpered as you felt one of his large hands gripping both of your wrists behind your back, his now free hand starting to slowly roam over your clothes. “You seem like the type of bad girl that likes the danger of getting caught”

“And you seem like the type to talk big, but do nothing” you knew exactly how bratty you sounded trying to tease Jean, but you also knew he had complete control over you. Your words were snarky, but your eyes blinked up at him with desperation, cheeks flushed with arousal.

Jean let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, you’re right” he smiled, but a sinful light flashed in his hazel eyes. Oh, you’re in for it. His free hand skimmed down to the brim of your hoodie, lifting it to expose the jeans tight on your butt. You unintentionally let out a sigh as his fingers gripped into the fabric and he started groping your ass without any shame. “I wouldn’t have the balls to touch you like that”

You felt wetness soaking through your panties at his firm touch, his breath hot on your ear as he looked at his own hand’s movements over your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t dare to pull these down” the groping stopped as a long finger creeped under the waist of your jeans, sending chills up your spine as he lightly dragged his fingertip along your skin. “What would we do if someone caught you with pants around your knees, moaning like a whore?”

“Jean” you quietly whined his name, losing your mind as his palm slid up your waist, over that stupid hoodie preventing his skin from touching yours.

“Getting desperate, are we?” he spoke softly, his hand stopping right at the underwire of your bra. Jean’s fingers moved carefully around the curve of your clothed tits, earning another whimper from you as you felt your pussy clench around nothing. “How outrageous would it be to grope your naked tits…”

You wanted him to grab them, feel the soft tissue with his hand, but Jean’s thumb just gently brushed over your nipple getting hard under the multiple layers of clothes.

“Or to take them into my mouth… Suck on them” Jean felt like all the blood in his body rushed to his groin as he pressed his thumb into the plush of your breast. Feeling you against himself, watching your eyes close in pleasure and your pretty swollen lips form an O made it extremely painful to hold his composure. Your flushed cheeks made him want to press you against the wall and do exactly what he just described. “A coward like me wouldn’t wanna get caught licking you, fingers buried in your wet little hole”

Jean felt his hard cock twitch in his pants as you pressed your hips even harder into him, desperate to feel his growing erection. His hand slid onto your delicate neck, fingers gently pushing into the sides.

“Holy-“ you mumbled, your head falling back as Jean leaned closer, his scruff scratching the sensitive skin as he earned access to your neck. His lips grazed over your skin, sending tingles down your body, and he deeply inhaled your sweet scent...

Then everything got cruelly ripped away from you in a matter of seconds.

“See ya tomorrow, smartass” you heard Jean’s voice and your eyes shot open, only to be met with his self-assured, cocky grin. He let go of your wrists and your neck, hands sliding into the pockets of his denim jacket while he stepped back, depriving you of the blissful heat of his body.

Jean felt so satisfied, so pleased with himself. You stood there for a moment, left utterly confused, your big eyes still eager, blinking towards him, swollen lips parted as if you wanted to say something, but the feeling of surprise made you catch your breath. You were so adorable, he had to hold back a chuckle.

He liked how confident sexual tension seemed to make you, but he just couldn’t help himself teasing you, making you go weak under his control.

“Je-“ a fragile little sound tried to break through the shock gripping your throat, but Jean’s reply cut you off as he turned his back to you, simply walking away.

“Tomorrow!”

You just stood there, astounded, your heart still racing, warmth filling your cheeks and panties damp from your wetness. Jean’s grip still burned the skin on your wrists and neck like a phantom. Your mind was so confused, you couldn’t even be mad at the man arrongantly strolling away from you like this was the most entertaining walk of his life.

And you completely forgot about the afternoon class you were originally headed to.

Frustration quickly turned into confidence as you stood in front of the mirror in your dorm after your little ice cream date with Sasha, getting ready for the party. It was a rare occasion, so you let your hair down, to Sasha’s biggest delight.

"You look sooo good, dear lord!" she exclaimed with an enthusiastic smile, encouraging you to do a little spin and she howled like a wolf.

"C'mon, it's not that special" you laughed at her excessive reaction. "But you do look breathtaking in that dress, emerald suits you"

"You think so?" Sasha looked down at herself, hands soothing the thin fabric. It was quite short, sleeves off the shoulders, showing off her delicate, pale skin. She truly looked beautiful.

"Niccolo's gonna pee his pants seeing you" you nodded and Sasha cracked up.

"He better pee his pants" she slipped her arms into her bolero. "And Jean better jizz his pants, to be honest"

"Sasha!" you chuckled as you shook your head, trying to shake off the thought of Jean orgasming, in any way, before your blushing could give any awkward feelings away. Sasha jumped to you and leaned over to pull your dress in all the right places to make it look even better. It was black and tight, its length ending right above your knees, but a longer slit letting one of your thighs be seen.

"What? You're a goddess, you better start believing that" Sasha threw her oversized leather jacket on your shoulders. "C'mon, grab your phone, let's go"

Connie's parents must be delighted to let a bunch of kids trash their house, you thought, as Sasha closed the door of your Uber and caught up to you waiting on the pavement. It seemed like a nice and quiet neighborhood, now muffled thuds breaking the silence of the street as you heard the bass of the music coming from inside.

"Bruh, Cornelius told me he invited twenty people at max" Sasha noted as you walked past a few unfamiliar faces sitting on the stairs of the front porch, drinking and cackling loudly. She swung the front door open like she owned the place, and the brutal noise hit you in your chest.

"Who the hell is Cornelius?" you asked with an amused laugh, but Sasha couldn't hear you anymore, the sound of loud music, people shouting, laughing and just generally being intoxicated deafening both of you. Sasha grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd.

Bumping into a bunch of strangers in a dimly lit room and loud noise overwhelming your senses was not how you imagined Connie's "friendly get together" to go.

"There he is" Sasha let go of your hand as you reached the kitchen, the lights brighter and the noise slightly less disturbing than in the crowded living room. You leaned against the doorframe where Sasha left you as you watched Sasha punch Connie's arm without a word being spoken between them.

"AARGH, are you out of your mind?" Connie jumped back from the open fridge in shock, his hand shooting towards the painful shoulder.

"You told me it was gonna be a small party! How are we supposed to order pizza for so many people?" Sasha yelled at him, absolutely infuriated about the food situation.

Non-existant food situation, may we add.

"Why should we order pizza for everyone?! I don't even know them, who cares?" Connie yelled back at her, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge. "Did you come over to ask brainless questions, or will you let me have a fucking break?"

"Hi Y/n!" you suddenly heard your name from behind and your head snapped towards the familiar voice. You were met with Berthold's smile and his usual peaceful expression, not even minding Sasha and Connie killing each other in the background.

"Hi Bert" you smiled back, happy to see him. You rarely got to talk to him at the one single class you had together. "How are you?"

"Uh, good thanks, barely holding on inside this hell of a house" he replied and you chuckled, perfectly understanding his struggle with crowded, loud places.

"You're telling me! I feel like exploding and we just arrived" you shook your head. "Where's Annie?"

"We're sitting outside on the patio, you should join us. It's a lot more quiet out there" he suggested as a large hand slapped on his shoulder. You looked up at the tall man appearing next to Bert, broad shoulders towering over you, fingers running through his blonde hair, bright eyes and a charming smile glistening towards you. "This is my friend, Reiner, by the way. I don't think you've met"

"Nice to meet you, Reiner" you nodded with a friendly smile and he accepted your hand reaching towards him, shaking it gently.

"The pleasure's mine, Y/n" Reiner softly returned your smile, and you started to feel flustered at the intense eye contact. "How come I've never seen you around campus?"

"She's pretty lame, looks like a grey little mouse most of the time" an unmistakable voice appeared next to you, and you turned to Jean sticking out your tongue in an instant. Bert rolled his eyes with a laugh and went over to the fridge, probably getting the drinks he originally came there for.

"Who asked the blockhead?" you snapped back as Jean stopped close to you, one arm pressing to yours, grinning down at you.

Your heart secretly started racing just by seeing him.

"Dunno man, looks like a gorgeous mouse to me" Reiner said winking at you, then turned and went to join Bert pondering in front of the open fridge. Warmth spread on your face as you watched Reiner grab a beer, and you deliberately avoided looking at Jean. "You want one, Jeanbo?"

"Nah, I'm good, thanks" Jean replied casually, but clenched his teeth as he looked down at your face, blushed from his compliment. The hell are you blushing for? Is this buff jock what you're into? Reiner, really?

Jean's jaw relaxed at the thought of how you'd probably clown him for being jealous. Jealous, good lord... It was like you sensed his eyes stuck on you, you raised your face to look at him with those big, sparkling eyes.

How could he not be jealous?

"Big man's not wrong" Jean said softly, so only you could hear, his eyes glancing over your outfit, then back to your face, and you felt your cheeks burn under his look. "You look beautiful"

Your heart fluttered at his words and you couldn't help the smile instantly widening on your face. You turned your whole body towards Jean and felt your stomach flip at how his hazel eyes glistened right back at you with a warm smile.

"You look pretty handsome yourself" you grinned, moving to hold both of his hands. Jean's heart fluttered to the same rhythm yours did as the sight of your pretty smile and the touch of your fingers combined started to make him melt. "This shirt looks so good on you"

Your fingers ran along the collar of his dark button-up shirt, the fabric soft, comfy and smelling of his delicious scent.

"Don't try to make me blush, you little rat" he grunted with a low voice, making you laugh out loud, and he lifted his hands to grab both sides of your face, long fingers reaching into your hair at the nape of your neck. Tingles ran down your spine as your arms moved automatically to hug his waist as he stood so close to you. "Where are your glasses, smartass?"

"I'm wearing contacts" you blinked up at him as he stroked a few strands of your hair to tug them behind your ears.

Your stomach doing a backflip once again.

"I like the glasses" he brushed his thumb over your cheek, then looked back to your eyes, making your body burn with the familiar sense of warmth. "But you look pretty regardless"

You swallowed your reply as Jean's eyes shot to your lips. So plump and invitingly glistening with gloss. He wanted to kiss you so much.

"I like the earrings, too" Jean swiftly shifted his eyes to the little silver figures dangling from your ears. He thought they wonderfully emphasized your delicate little neck.

"Thanks, they're ladybugs" you grinned and Jean chuckled.

"Are they your little magical ladybugs? I knew you were a witch" he watched with a smirk as you bursted into laughing. He also noticed the shimmery eyeshadow on your eyelids, and how the makeup and your jewellery complimented your look so well. Although he knew exactly how gorgeous you were without them.

"You're very attentive tonight, Jeanbo" you sneered at him and Jean rolled his eyes at your smug smile. He hated that nickname.

"He's my teammate, your ass is not allowed to use that name"

"Will I be allowed if I start beating you with a stick as well?" your smile widened at making Jean crack up.

"The hell do you think we do while playing hockey?" he laughed, one of his hands moving to grab your chin. "It's not just beating each other with sticks, believe it or not"

"Sure" you borderline didn't even know what you were talking about. Not even having a sip of alcohol yet, you smiled up at Jean drunkenly, intoxicated by how good he felt to all of your senses at that moment.

Sasha's loud sounds of excitement snapped you both out of your own little world.

"WHAT, they're filled with cherry cream?!" she covered her mouth with a hand, in a state of complete shock as Niccolo held out a tray of cupcakes in front of her.

Niccolo nodded with an enthusiastic smile in your direction, and you waved at him with an amused chuckle as Jean let go of you and walked over to them. You've already met Niccolo countless times, but you could never get enough of their emotion-filled interactions with Sasha - strong emotions about food, mostly.

"Hey!" Connie yelped as Sasha slapped his hand trying to steal from the dessert. "This is my house, give me a cupcake!"

"It's your father's house, Constance" Sasha stated seriously, and you bursted out laughing as Connie's low-lidded stare met your eyes. He was so tired of the names.

"Are you pulling these names out of your ass?"

"I'm pulling the cupcake out of your ass, if you dare to steal any of- HEY!" Sasha practically jumped on Connie's back as he rapidly grabbed one of them from the tray, trying to get away and stuff it into his mouth before Sasha could stop him.

A few people, unfamiliar with this otherwise very usual situation, quickly left the kitchen before they found themselves in the middle of a physical altercation, and you and Jean were in absolute hysterics.

"Eat it then, you fucking piece of pie!" Sasha shouted at Connie, still riding on his back, smearing the cherry cupcake around his face with her palm.

"Uh- Yo-" Connie's desperate attempts of yells were muffled as Niccolo tried to pull Sasha from him with no success. "Y'suff- You'll suffocate me!"

"Ah, feels like I never left town" a voice laughed loudly next to you, and you raised your teary eyes to look at the stranger. The tall, brunette man stepped straight to Jean, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he snatched his head in his direction.

"MARCO!"

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jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd · 4 months

Note

Hii i saw you have requests open and I was wondering if you'd write about DILF!Jean falling for his son babysitter (he's divorced already and he was when they met) or DILF jean headcannons in general

Hope u can and if not it's okay,have a nice Christmas!! Take care♡

pairing: dilf!jean x fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

content + warnings: nothing really. just fluff & some kissing.

a/n: this was sooo fun to write tbh! thank u for ur request!! i hope you had a nice christmas!!

not too long ago, you started working for jean kirstein. well, more like baby-sitting. jean kirstein was a rich, recently divorced dad of one. he had a son who was about two years old and cute as all hell. despite jean not needing to work one more day in his life, he chose to. he wanted to set a good example for his son and quite frankly, he’d be too bored sitting around his house everyday. that’s when he found you, a nice young girl who had experience in babysitting.

when jean first met you, he could tell you were an ideal hire. you were well dressed. you weren’t wearing anything ‘slutty’ or too comfortable. plus, you were easy on his eyes. and his son had taken an immediate liking to you, which was the most important thing to jean. he didn’t hesitate to give you the job and he promised to pay you handsomely. hell, even if he didn’t pay you, you’d consider the job due to the fact of how good looking he was. you thought every woman in town should be jealous of you.

as time went on, you and jean developed a more than professional relationship. you two became friends. he liked you particularly because you’d listen unlike all of the douchebags at work. he liked that he’d come home to a clean house, a fed and in bed baby, and a pretty girl, although he told himself he’d never admit that to you. jean appreciated that you never complained about the hours and always offered to help out with other things around the house. jean knew he could count on you.

there became a time jean started looking at you differently. you weren’t sure quite when it started. the first time you noticed was when you were doing the dishes after you and his kid had just finished dinner. jean had gotten home early unexpectedly. you didn’t hear the front door open due to the running water. the sound of jean clearing his throat was enough to make you jump and drop a dish in the sink. luckily for you, it didn’t break. you turned the water off and turn around to find your boss leaning against the counter, with his arms crossed.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting you.” your words fall out in a rush. to your surprise, jean just laughs. his eyes are shimmering with something you can’t quite put your finger on. that was the first night you suspected something was up with him.

after that, jean started paying you more. you weren’t going to complain. jean kept that glint in his eyes, at least whenever he was around you. you couldn’t help the feeling that his eyes were always on you when he’d come home. then, he started having you help out with his son when he was home. he said something along the lines of, “i want to work from home more to be more available for my son but that doesn’t mean i can always keep the best eye on him. i’d appreciate your help more than you’d know, (y/n.)”

how could you say no when he’d say your name like that?

eventually, staying during the day turned into staying for dinner. jean’d cook and you’d watch the baby while he did. jean’s son was an easy baby and you were grateful. you were being paid a lot more than you deserved. you liked staying for dinner. you liked playing housewife even if your fantasy was just one sided. or at least that’s what you thought.

you and jean continued on with this charade for a few months, blissfully unaware of the other’s feelings. you wish you could be with him. you’ve seen the type of man he is. he’s thoughtful, caring, a great cook, a great dad and incredibly handsome. the list goes on. on the other hand, jean was noticing all sorts of things about you. like the way you’d tie your hair up before getting a head start on the chores. or the way you’d blush when he’d pull a chair out for you. or how natural you looked holding his son.

everything changed one night. you had stayed extra late this particular night. jean had meetings all night long. he was doing them virtually but insisted you stay incase his kid woke up. you obliged, secretly hoping he’d ask you to stay. eventually, you pass out on the couch with the baby monitor on the coffee table in front of you.

you wake the next morning to find a blanket covering you. you start to panic, realizing you had fallen asleep on the job, when you were supposed to be keeping an ear out for cries. you dart up, looking for you phone to look at the time. it’s bright in the room and you know it’s the next day. you wander in the kitchen to find jean sitting at the table, reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee sitting in front of him. he’s wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajamas. you had never seen this look on him and quite frankly, he looked as good as ever.

he set the newspaper down at your arrival. immediately, you began profusely apologizing for your carelessness. jean smiles.

“i wouldn’t have let you stay if you weren’t wanted.”

these words make you blush. they make you realize how bad you want him and how you’d do anything to be his wife. was there a chance he wanted you too?

jean got up from his chair and pushed it in behind him. “you don’t have to apologize. you aren’t in trouble. the boy was just fine all night. it was unfair of me to ask you to stay so late.” he admitted, leaning against the counter next to you. “truth is, the real reason you were here is a little…selfish.”

your heart was beating so fast. your ears couldn’t believe what they were hearing. and god, your eyes could not stop looking at him. his kind, hazel eyes. his messy brown-blond hair. and his scruff. and his pink, perfect lips. “why was i here?” the words somehow find a way out while you hope you know the answer.

“because i wanted you here.” he moved closer to you. your stomach was in knots, twisting and turning. jean reached a hand up to hold the side of your face. your cheek where his hand rested was burning. you weren’t sure if it was you or him that was so warm. you can’t find anything to say. there’s nothing moving around in your brain except for him. “(y/n,)” he started, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “why do you think you’re here so much?”

“to do my job.”

“no. try again.” jean whispered.

“i don’t know.” you whispered back.

“i think that you do.” jean leaned closer, his forehead resting against yours. instinctively, your hand went up to grip his wrist. he was looking right into your eyes. his gaze never faltered. it was that look again. the one from all those nights ago. he pulled away. jean turned his head away and sighed. “(y/n), don’t make me say it.”

“you’re falling for me.” you whispered, your forehead and cheek still burning from his gentle touch. he turned his head back to you, eyes now filled with hope.

“are you…falling for me?” he asked but it came out as more of a plea. you nodded your head. you couldn’t believe this was happening. you were sure you were still asleep and going to wake up soon. “you’re certain?” he tilted his head.

“yes.” your voice still came out as a whisper, afraid the moment would end if you spoke any louder. this was all the confirmation jean needed to hear. it was music to his ears. he took a step closer. you’re afraid your heart might actually beat out of your chest.

jean’s face was leaning in towards yours. you closed your eyes, afraid but wanting. needing. his lips met yours. they are soft and gentle. they’re warm. you felt jean’s hands wrap around your waist as he pulled his mouth away from yours. you opened your eyes finally.

“i’m a cliche, aren’t i?” he asked. “falling for the babysitter?”

you can find my jean fic by clicking here

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woooyeahbaby · 4 months

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Who Says ‘I Love You’ First - AOT drabbles

warnings: probably ooc eren because i imagine him kinda differently from canon 😭 sorry, that’s really it, just fluff? maaaybe ooc jean. gender neutral reader i think? lmk if i said something that wasn’t gn, i’ll fix it asap

characters: eren, jean, armin, levi

Eren

you. i mean, we all saw how he never confessed to mikasa, right? sorry, but you’re not special.

of course, he wants you to know he loves you, so he’ll show actions of love, but never outright says he loves you. he has it planned out, down to the exact wording, he has it memorized, even. however, he can never spit it out. so you have to take the reigns.

at the point you confess, you’ve realized he won’t be saying it any time soon. it’s been a year of you two being together, so it’s pretty obvious.

you’ll be perhaps on a walk with him, not necessarily a destination. you could even be on a boring patrol. it’s quiet, trees blowing in the wind, and the soft chirps of birds. you look at eren, and him feeling your eyes on him, looks back. you feel confident enough.

“i love you, eren.” you give a soft smile, trying to hide how nervous you felt about saying that. you start to overthink slightly, wondering if he never said it simply because he really just didn’t feel like that.

“i..” eren’s eyes are wide with shock, but he doesn’t look offended, no. his cheeks are slightly red, a smile forms on his lips, and his body visibly tenses. “i.. love you too.”

it seemed like it was difficult for him to say that, but other than returning to overthinking it, you realized he was definitely just scared. you smile back at him, then reach for his hand. he grabs yours, squeezing a little tighter than usual. it was only because he was giddy and trying not to show it.

Jean

he does! only because he says it quite early. only about two months into dating. it doesn’t really bother you how early it was, since he made it very obvious he wasn’t lying or anything. he’s always very caring and gentle with you, such a softie when it comes to you.

it wasn’t just words that showed you he loves you, he’d always pamper you the best he could. he’d share his food with you, no matter how hungry. he’d wipe blood from your face with his thumb. plenty of acts and gestures to show his love before he announced it.

let’s set this.. beginning of season three. in the cabin and cleaning up together, perhaps helping him wash dishes. jean sees you working hard, and his heart throbs. he loves seeing you focused.

“hey,” he says to catch your attention. “i love you.” he sounds slightly nervous, his voice cracking ever so slightly. of course he made eye contact with you to deepen the feeling.

“i love you too, jean. where’d that come from?” you laugh softly, feeling your face heat up as you continue to wash dishes.

“i just felt like telling you. felt like a good time.” he smirks as he grabs a cloth to dry a plate you’ve set down.

Armin

surprisingly, he does. but it was an accident. let’s say five months into dating, at the cabin in season three.

armin had been having a hard time recently, poor guy was so stressed and anxious with absolutely everything. so one day, while he’s cleaning up for captain levi in the cabin, you approach him with something behind your back.

he sets his broom aside, raising an eyebrow as he sees your hands behind your back.

“y/n? what do you have?” armin asks curiously, a small yet playful smile on his face.

“just a gift.” you smile back as you suddenly show him what the gift was; a book about everything beyond the walls.

his eyes absolutely light up and his smile grows ten times bigger. he grabs the book from your hands excitedly, then wraps his arms around you.

“oh, y/n! i love you! where did you get this?!” armin nearly shouts, his voice cracking all over the place. he doesn’t even realize what he said until a few seconds later.

“o-oh, i um.. sorry…” his eyes are wide as he backs from the hug, his face red.

“it’s okay, armin. i love you too.” you laugh softly. “i just happened to find it.”

you decide not to dwell on it, seeing how embarrassed he got. you found it adorable.

Levi

you do. he’s far too shy to tell you, but you still have all of his heart. six months into dating. you’re enjoying a cup of tea, alone with him.

you’re holding a conversation with him, something many of the scouts find difficult. but, seeing as you’re literally dating him, you find it easy. especially when he’s content with his tea. even if the conversation was dull and simple, you both felt love in each other’s gazes.

it was like he was staring at an angel when he looked at you, you could see in his eyes and expression that the only thing he cared about in the moment was you. part of you wondered why he never voiced it, though. so.. why shouldn’t you? maybe that’ll get it out of him.

“i love you, levi.” you say once the previous conversation ends, and he seems slightly taken aback. his jaw drops slightly, and you hear a soft gasp.

once he catches his physical reaction, he clears his throat. “ahem, sorry. that um.. caught me off guard. i love you too, y/n. very much.” he returns to his loving expression instead of his shocked one as he speaks.

“it’s alright, it was out of nowhere. i only expected you to be surprised.” you smile, reaching across the table to hold his hand.

levi takes your hand, soothingly rubbing his thumb across the back of it just how he knows you like it. “it was sweet, nonetheless.”

did you like this? my requests are open! please check out my pinned post about requests if you’d like me to write something for you :)

#attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #levi ackerman x reader #eren jeager x reader #jean kirstein x reader #armin arlert x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #eren jaeger fanfiction #jean kirstein fanfiction #armin fanfiction #attack on titan headcanons

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jeankluv · 5 months

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I won’t fake it || Jean Kirstein x reader

Words: 2.6K

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, modern au, actors au, reader is shy and a bit insecure, readers appearance is never described

Summary: You and Jean have known each other for a decade now, since both of you started working as teens in a serie called Attack on Titan. During the years you developed feelings for him, but never told him afraid of breaking your friendship and afraid of his reaction. Promoting the final season, your managers came with the idea of a PR but Jean refuses, despite knowing he has done it before in the past. You hated the idea of PR but did Jean really hate the idea of going out with you, even if it was pretend?

Note: this came to me when an attack on titan actor au popped up on my feed. I don’t know if I should make another part or leave it like this.

Attack on titan materialist

The series, which you have been working on for the last 10 years, was coming to an end soon. Only a few episodes were left and you were promoting it with the rest of the cast, in New York and Los Angeles.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was beautiful, the makeup was beautiful, the outfit you were wearing was beautiful, everything looked perfect. It had to be. You were about to give an interview on live television, talking about the series finale, promoting it and everything had to be just perfect.

You sighed, you were nervous it didn’t matter what you did to calm yourself down. It's been over a decade since you joined the industry and you couldn’t stop from getting nervous. Your leg was moving up and down, making your heels hit the floor and filling the room with the noise of your shoes.

A knock on the door made you come back to your senses, you swallowed and told to came in. In the door Jean appeared, you smiled at him, your best friend since almost the very beginning of the series.

“Hey.” He approached you and left a kiss on your cheek. You hated it, not because you didn’t like it, because it made you feel so much and you knew nothing was going to happen. “How are you feeling?” He sat next to you. You grimaced, trying to make light of the matter, but you knew Jean knew you too well. “I will be right next to you, so don’t worry. We are together.” You smiled faintly, Jean was always so kind to you and your heart wouldn’t stop beating on your chest whenever he looked at you that way.

“Thank you Jean… I really appreciate having you with me.” You told him and he smiled.

A staff member came in, informing you that you were about to enter the studio for the interview. Jean stood and offered his hand for you to take it. You held it and walked side by side, feeling the comfort Jean was bringing you. You were behind a door and could hear the interviewer talking and the audience applauding. Your names were called and both Jean and you entered the plate smiling and greeting everyone who was there. You sat on the couch with Jean on your left and the interviewer to your right.

“Welcome both of you.” The interviewer smiled. “How are you both feeling? The finale is almost here, crazy isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s honestly crazy that after, what? 10 years right?” Jean joked in a flirtatious way. “But yeah it’s been a whole rollercoaster, but one none of us won’t forget.” He said looking at you.

“Eh… yeah, yeah it’s been a whole experience and… we are really thankful for the fans that have been supporting us for all those years.” You said, trying to hide your anxiety.

The interviewer nodded. “Now tell me about your characters. They are romantically involved and I think everyone can agree that your chemistry on screen is untouchable.” The public started cheering up.

You hoped no one was noticing that your whole face was heating up. If only they knew you had the biggest crush on Jean Kirstein, they would probably lose their minds and start editing every single moment where you both interacted or the moments where you were looking at him like a helpless romantic.

“I guess so, but with y/n it’s so easy. I couldn’t have been luckier to have such an amazing partner to work with.” He laughed.

“You’re just too kind, Jean.” You smiled.

“It’s the truth tho. You’re an amazing actress and friend. And I love filming with you and spending time with you.”

“Wow… Jean if you weren’t in a relationship I would think you are hinting on y/n on live television.” The interviewer joked.

And there it was, the reminder that Jean was just your friend, your costar, nothing else. You were happy when Jean told you he was seeing someone, happy when he told you they started dating, happy when you met her. You were happy, that’s what you always told yourself, that you were happy for him. But it wasn’t true, you weren’t happy, you were a coward because you had those feelings for years but you were never able to confess and then, then he was with someone else, that wasn’t you.

You were selfish, you wanted to be the one holding his hand, the reason for his loving eyes, the reason why his heart raced faster, you wanted to be all that and more.

You tried to keep yourself normal, not to react to that or to what Jean said.

“Well I’m not in a relationship anymore, it’s been over a month since I broke up with my now ex.” Jean explained, leaving you speechless. You didn’t know about this, he never mentioned it. It was true that you were unable to see and talk as much as you usually did due to your busy schedules.

“Then we can say you were hinting on y/n? How do you feel about that y/n?” The interviewer asked once again.

You were starting to get nervous and somehow embarrassed for the whole situation. You wanted to stand up and run from there, but if you did that everyone would be talking about you on social media and that was making you even more anxious.

“You know what Jimmy, I think we should go back to the main topic, talking about our series.” Jean cut him off. “But so everyone knows, we are not Connie or Eren, you won’t be able to get a single spoiler out from us.”

As always Jean was the most natural when it came to doing interviews or talking with other people. The interviewer let the topic to the side and started asking questions about the series, what it was for you to film this final part and how you were feeling about ending it. You played a little game to entertain the audience and finally you ended saying goodbye to everyone.

You and Jean walked down the hall together with your managers, while talking about something. You didn't look at Jean, you didn't want to, you were still embarrassed by what happened a few minutes ago.

“Jean, what you did out there…” He was referring to that flirt with you. “Was brilliant. Everyone is talking about it on social media.” He said showing the phone to Jean, you looked at it out of the corner of your eye and sure enough, the video of the moment was everywhere.

“Josh just leave it, okay?” Said Jean hanging the phone back to his manager.

“No Jean, this could be a perfect opportunity for both of you.” He said pointing at you both. “I was talking to Emma while you were still at the interview and maybe doing a PR isn’t that bad.” You closed your eyes and you leaned against the elevator wall.

“Emma…” You whispered.

“C’mon y/n this could be a wonderful opportunity, you will only have to act like you’re romantically involved, some photoshoots, some Instagram posts. It will be fantastic for your publicity.” She smiled holding you from the arms. You didn’t want it, you didn’t want to fake you had something with Jean because you knew your heart would end up broken in a million pieces.

“I won’t be doing PR with y/n.” Jean stayed not letting any of your managers talk.

“Why Jean? This could be a great opportunity for both of you. Your ship in the show is huge, having you go from friends to lovers would be…”

“No.” Jean said harshly.

“Jean, you have done this before, what's the difference?”

“None of us need this shit, we are already both settled actors.” Jean started to walk away from leaving the elevator.

His manager started to walk behind him, while you stayed there with Emma. You felt your heart shrink in your chest, was that bad idea for him to fake date you? You hated the idea but Jean… Jean looked disgusted with it.

You didn’t see Jean after that, he didn’t contact you either and you didn’t have the courage to do it. You looked at your schedule for tomorrow, you had a photoshoot in the morning and then you would be free for the rest of the day. You sat on your bed, tired of today's journey, you weren’t a big fan of promotion season, you were just too introverted for it and sometimes interviewers were too much for you, they seemed not to care about what you were telling them, they just wanted the gossip and leave. And you hated that, you loved acting from a young age, it let you be someone else, escape from reality but Hollywood was another thing, another world. A world that even after all these years was hard for you to adjust to.

You fell into bed, closing your eyes, you had to sleep tomorrow, you had to get up early and you didn't want to have Emma dragging you around New York with huge circles under your eyes.

＇・＊：．。．　．。．：＊・゜゚・＊

Before you could realize the premiere for the final part was that night in New York City, you were getting ready in your apartment, your whole makeup was stunning, and your dress was just breathtaking. You couldn’t believe you could look this good.

“We will be leaving in 5.” Emma said.

“In 5 minutes?” You opened your eyes.

“Yeah, the premiere is an hour and you have to take photos on the red carpet with everyone and do some small interviews.”

“Okay…”

“Hey!” She said making you look at her. “If you start to feel overwhelmed, tell me and I will take you out of there okay?”

“It’s okay Em, I think I can handle it. I will be alright.”

“That’s my baby, I can’t believe it’s been ten years since you got this role.”

“And you have been supporting me ever since then.”

“That’s true.”

“Thank you.” You hugged her.

“And by the way, I’m so sorry for what happened with Jean and the whole PR thing, when Josh suggested I thought it would a good idea, but I fail to consider how you were going to feel about it.”

“It’s alright Em.”

“Have you talked with him?”

“With Jean?” She nodded. “Not directly, we talked in the group chat, last thing I know is that he was in LA, for an audition or something, I’m not really sure.”

“You will see him tonight.”

“Yeah I know but it doesn’t matter Em, it was a silly conversation and all the flirting thing he did, it was for the show. Not real.”

Emma looked at you with a sad look. “Honey, I don’t think it was fake.”

“Em please, don’t do that, don’t give me hopes for something that will never happen.”

“Okay…” She looked at her phone. “Oh shit, we need to leave or you will be late, c’mon.”

In 10 minutes you were getting out of your car, meeting up with thousands of flashes and screams from fans. You smiled at them and started waving at everyone. You approached a group of fans to take selfies and sign posters.

“Oh y/n! You look absolutely stunning! I love you so much.” You blushed at the compliment.

“Thank you so much sweetheart.” You told them.

“Y/n! Please sign my poster.”

“Sure.”

“Y/n! You and Jean would look so good together.” You heard someone say.

“That’s right y/n!” You heard another one scream.

“Thank you guys, but we are not…”

You were cut by one of the team staff taking you away from them. You waved them goodbye with a sad smile, you sighed to yourself and prepared yourself to pose in front of the cameras. You heard paparazzi scream your name, telling you to look to one side, to another side. You started to feel anxious and feel your sweaty hands, the whole flashes were making you dizzy. You felt someone, holding you from the waist making you jump a little. Looking up, you saw a very familiar tall person next to you. Jean was there, smiling.

“Jean…” You whispered.

“Hello gorgeous, you look beautiful.” He whispered to you.

You smiled to the floor. Stupid Jean. He held your hand, making it so natural, so effortless and easy. He took you out of there, you still heard the screams and the sound of flashes behind both of you. Jean started saluting everyone around without letting your hand go. You were feeling nervous, probably Jean was noticing that you were sweating.

“Eh… Jean.” You told him, he turned to look at you.

“Mhm?” He tilted his head and you looked down to your hands. “Oh…” He said. “Y/n, I need to talk with you.” Jean spoke once again. He was looking at you. “Come with me please.” And walked off with you.

You looked at his big back, he kept walking until a small room far away from the people. He let your hand go and you held both of your hands together, looking down, nervous.

“Y/n can you look at me.” He whispered.

“What happened Jean?” You faintly smiled at him.

“Listen, I know, I know it must be confusing my actitud tonight, all this thing of holding hands and the “show” out there but…”

“You ended up agreeing to the PR thing?” You smiled.

“No I didn’t, I told Josh that I was not going to do PR with you.”

“Why? Is that a bad idea to do PR with me?”

“No… is just.”

“You have done PR before, I don’t understand why you wouldn't want to.”

Jean breathed. “Because I wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“Oh… I understand.” You bite your lip.

“I think you’re not understanding y/n.” He held your face. “I wouldn’t be able to fake anything with you because every single thing I would do, every single word, every single look, would be true.”

You swallowed looking at his eyes. True? It wouldn’t be fake?

“What…?”

“Y/n, I like you. I have liked you for a while now… I was a dick for not realizing my feelings before.”

“I… Jean.”

“Y/n, I know, I have known for a while and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you.” He hugged you and you closed your eyes and smelling his aroma.

“It’s okay Jean… but are you for real?” You broke the hug.

“Yes, every single thing I said it’s real. I don’t want to fake anything with you, I want this to be real.” He said once again looking at your eyes. “That’s why, I want to take you out on a date.”

“A date?”

“Mhm.” He smirked. “You know we could sneak out and I could take you out on a fast date.”

“Jean… this is our last premiere, we can’t.” He pouted, which made you smiled.

“You’re right babe. Our last time, I will miss working with you on screen…”

“Maybe we can work together again, don’t worry.” You smiled.

“Hopefully but only as your romantic interest.” He kissed your cheek. “Now let’s go before they start to be suspicious and I don’t want Eren to start bothering us with his nonsense.” He held your hands once again but you stopped him.

Jean turned around and looked at you. With all the courage in the world you held his face and kissed him. Jean at first was surprised but he instantly kissed you back, tangling his fingers in your hair and increasing the kiss. The kiss finished when you both heard the door being opened. You hide yourself behind Jean, feeling your face burning up.

“So you two are here?” Emma was standing there, you avoided her gaze. “Everyone was looking for you, so you better get your asses back there.”

Both of you nodded and started walking next to Emma, not letting each other's hands go. Emma nudged you and smiled at you, you looked down and got closer to Jean, he smiled at your shyness and placed a kiss on your hair.

#jean kirschstein x reader #aot x reader #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirschtein angst #jean x you #jean kirstein x oc #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean kirstein x you #jean kirschstein

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damn-stark · 4 months

Text

Chapter 35 Can’t catch me now

Final chapter of Cherry

A/N: Thank you, I’m going to cry now that it’s over

Warning- FLUFF, mentions of pregnancy and birth complications, angst, and swearing

Takes place during- The final chapters special 2

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

————

What does he mean by talk?

Does he have a girlfriend back in Marley? One Connie, Levi, or Pieck mentioned?

Or maybe he’s going to say that he’s totally just over you. He doesn’t love you anymore.

You can’t take it, the anxiety is killing you.

“You look nice,” you interject and hide your nervousness well. “I like your hair, it’s different, it’s good.” You peer over your shoulder and flash Jean a smile.

He meets your gaze and a soft smirk tugs on his lips. “Thanks. You look nice now—I mean you look beautiful, but nice because the last time I saw you, you looked—”

“Bad?” You say to him with a small teasing smile.

Jean squints and parts his lips to argue, but you cut in again.

“It’s okay, it’s true,” you assure him. “I was in a bad place. Now I’m not. I’m okay now. Better than good actually, I’m great.”

You slide the door open to a secluded cabin on the train and walk in first before he follows you inside and closes the door behind him, letting you finally face each other.

“So I’ve read,” he says.

You study his handsome face and smile wider. “You look very nice. Is that okay to say?” You ask to get what you want to know from him. “Or should I hold back because of a special someone?” You wiggle your eyebrows and hope it isn't true.

Jean scoffs and shakes his head. “Nah…I tried it,” he admits, and you feel your heart clench—“but none of them worked out, I guess,” he rolls out and glances at the ground as he puts his hands in his pockets. “They weren’t you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your eyes widen. “What?” You gasp with disbelief.

Jean looks up at you and exhales deeply before he pulls his hands out and strides over to you with confidence. “I know I’ve been an ass and not written, but I wanted to give you space.”

“Jean,” you try to interject, but he grabs your shoulders and looks at you with a soft look that makes your face begin to burn.

“Listen okay?” He continues and looks into your eyes. “I love you, I always will no matter what, but I don’t want to just be your friend. I can’t be just a friend. I can be your best friend if we’re together, but I can’t live my life and pretend that we didn’t live a life together. That I didn’t love you with my entire being. I can't do that, I'm not that big of a person.”

Tears fill your eyes, but they’re not born from an ache, they’re tears of disbelief and shock.

“So,” he goes on softly and slowly places his hands on your cheeks. “That’s why I'm saying it now, it might be brazen and too much for you, but it’s the truth and if I didn’t say it I would be bothered and mean, you don’t deserve that. And well,” he sighs. “Too much shit has happened for us to be patient, and I’m afraid that if I continue to be patient, I won’t be able to say what has been stuck in my throat for years.”

You smile softly and gently slide your hands over to hold his arms. “Jean,” you whisper. “I love you. I do. I never stopped loving you. I never thought about anyone else but you, but,” you cut in and make his breath falter. “You can’t rush into this. We’ve hardly talked over the past 3 years, I don’t know you anymore. You don’t know me. We know a past of each other, but not who we turned into. You understand? I mean what if you don’t even like who I am now? I don’t want you to waste your time with me, I—”

“Shut up,” Jean cuts you off and pulls you closer to him, making your breath hitch and your eyes fall on his lips—“Just shut up you’re talking nonsense. All you’re saying is crap because I do know you,” he says. “I’ve read all the letters you sent me. All the letters you sent our friends, and I’m looking at you now and all I see is my future. I’ve fought for a long time, I know life isn’t long, and I don’t want to wait. We can get to know each other as we date. Just please be with me. I miss you.”

Your bottom lip trembles and all you feel is your heart race as butterflies flutter like crazy inside you.

Your life doesn’t feel complete because Levi still isn’t with you, but you feel safe and like the stars finally returned to orbit to give light to the world. Yes, you did heal from your deep wounds without him, you couldn’t have him with you, but the one thing that didn’t change throughout it all was your feelings for him; they burn just as hot, and drive you just as crazy as the first time.

“I miss you too,” you redirect sweetly. “I love you too. I’ve only loved you, I will only love you. I can’t love anyone else but you,” you confess, making him smile and lean in.

Yet just as you’re going to relish in the taste of his lips finally on yours, a knock raps on the door.

“Y/N?”

Eric?

Eric!

“What do you want?” You sneer and don’t bother to open the door right away.

“Ben is looking for you. He says it’s urgent.”

You groan and look at Jean one last time. “Let’s continue this later, hm?” You ask.

Jean sighs deeply and has no choice but to give in. “Fine. Just,” he trails off and slams his lips on yours to give you one quick but deep kiss before he pulls back to open the door for you.

“Hey man,” Eric greets Jean with a smug smile.

You storm out of the room and Eric follows after you.

“Why are you still mad, huh? Did I interrupt something?”

When you step out to the main cabin you stop in front of Ben and quickly interject. “What do you want?”

Ben looks away from Reiner and slowly looks at you with concern. “Do you have an extra pack of cigarettes? I left mine in my other coat.”

You clench your fist and give him a tightlipped smile. “That was urgent?” You say through gritted teeth.

Ben nods and glances at Jean sitting down before looking back at you and giving you a cheeky smile. “Yes.”

“I do not carry cigarettes because the last box you had me carry you finished last week. Am I done now?” You sneer. “Or?”

Ben glances at Eric sitting down next to him and they share a look before he nods. “Yeah.”

You let out a deep huff and turn to return to your seat. Jean tries to settle down next to you, but you quickly throw your arms over the empty seat. “Sorry, this seat is taken,” you let him know sweetly.

Jean turns and looks at you with a pointed look. “What do you mean? It’s empty,” he points out.

“It’s Honey’s seat,” you sass him. “She demands to have her own seat. Sorry.” You smile and point at the seat across from you “You can sit there. Mikasa is with Armin. And Eric—”

Just as you say his name your brother slides in the seat across from you as if trying to cockblock Jean from even looking at you.

“…is there,” you finish under your breath and then look back at Jean still baffled by your cat's privileges.

“You’re not serious,” Jean retorts.

“She’s so serious,” Eric rebuttals for you. “Her cat thinks it’s royalty or something. It’s weird.”

Jean glances at your brother and then at the empty seat, and is going to ignore you, but just as he’s going to sit down, your brown cat comes over and hops back on her seat next to yours. She sees Jean too close so she looks at him with her green eyes and lets out a long meow.

“See,” you exclaim with a smirk. “Her own seat. I don’t make the rules.” You shrug.

Jean rolls his eyes and picks up the cat, making her let out an annoyed meow.

“I bought you damn thing now hold it before I accidentally sit on it,” he sasses and plops the cat on your lap as you watch him sit down with bewilderment.

Over the past 2 years, you've been breaking your head wondering, and constantly asking Levi and the others to reveal who gifted you the cat, but no one would say a thing.

Sure sometimes you did think Jean was the one, but since he barely wrote you back he quickly fell off that list. For some time you thought it was Reiner since he seemed to still be fawning over you, but he would’ve said it, so your guess was Levi or Mikasa, but they never said a thing so you were left wondering for 2 years. And now you finally know, and you should’ve known.

“You got her for me?” You probe softly as you hold onto Honey.

Jean drifts his gaze to the corner of his eyes and looks at you as if it’s no big deal. “Yeah,” he responds nonchalantly. “Made Mikasa pick her out to give it to you.”

You scoff softly in disbelief and lean closer to him. “Why didn’t you say so?” You press him.

Jean shrugs. “I was. The cat is a…apology present for how I acted before you left, but then at the last minute,” he sighs. “I chickened out and thought it was better if you didn’t know until I saw you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your smile tugs to a grin before you quickly let go of the cat to lean over and throw your arms around Jean.

It's kind of an awkward hug since you're sitting side by side, but you still hold onto him.

“Thank you,” you whisper softly and gently run your fingers through the ends of his hair, making him shiver and squeeze you gently.

“I knew you'd like it,” he whispers in your ear as he tilts his head closer to you to draw in a small breath as he catches a whiff of your fragrance clinging to your skin. “You smell nice,” he shares.

You smirk and slide your hands down to feel his biceps hiding under his suit. “You do too,” you redirect smugly before you pull back and hug your cat again.

“You know,” Eric adds and taps the table in between you and him. “Back in the city, there’s this guy named Fedric, who is heads over heels for my sister here.”

“Eric,” you try to cut him off.

“No, no, just listen,” he ignores you and smirks. “He’s, like, tall, and buff and has crazy blue eyes. I’m telling her to give it a shot, but she refused. Maybe, you,” he points at Jean. “Can advise her otherwise, considering you’re her best friend.” He shrugs.

You glare at your brother and kick him in the shin under the table, he flinches, but he keeps on a straight face.

“Why don’t you date him,” Jean rebuttals sassily. “Considering the way you’re describing him.”

You snort and smile at your brother, but Eric doesn’t share the same enthusiasm, he fakes laughs instead and mutters. “Funny, funny.”

You snicker at him and then turn to continue talking to Jean. “I hope you got enough sleep—”

“Hey!” Connie cuts in and slides into the empty seat next to Eric. “Does your cat have a diamond hanging off her collar, or am I going crazy?”

You lift your cat and nod. “Yeah, she does. Isn’t she so pretty?” You smile.

Connie squints and then he bursts out laughing. “You’re so weird! It’s a cat!”

You roll your eyes and set your cat down on your lap. “So?” You quip. “What's your point?”

“My point is that it’s an animal,” he explains himself. “It’s weird that you put that shit on her.”

You don’t get his point nor do you want to spend your time arguing, so you drop the subject and return to what you didn’t finish saying. “Anyway! I hope you guys got enough sleep, you guys have a busy schedule today. Plus, a little welcome back celebration hosted by me.”

“What?” Connie gasps.

You smile proudly and nod. “Yeah, after you get finished with all your introduction meetings, we’ll go get ready, have dinner, and then go to a cantina. How fun is that?” You exclaim.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Eric mutters. “Mikasa is going to get annoyed.”

You flick your wrist to wave him off. “It’s okay. I planned it. I couldn’t hold it in! There’s gonna be dancing, music, old military friends, new friends we’ve made, and drinks. It’s gonna be fun! And who knows Connie, maybe finally you’ll become a man tonight.” You smile sweetly and bat your lashes.

Connie snickers. “Cherry girl, I am a man. I left many ladies crying back in Marley.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust as you don’t find this funny anymore. “That’s gross.”

“You started it,” he snaps.

You groan and glance over at Jean to ask if it’s the same for him, but you catch him already looking at you with a soft smile on his face that makes you wonder.

“What?” You query.

Jean blinks in surprise as he snaps from his stupor, but he doesn’t grow flustered, or lose his smile, he simply shakes his head and interjects softly. “Nothing. You’ve just changed, that's all.”

Your face begins to burn and you’re the one that grows flustered now. “Well,” you whisper. “Yeah.” You laugh and nod. “Yeah. And you don’t stutter anymore. You used to stutter. Is it all the practice back in Marley?” You tease him.

Jean scoffs and grows cocky. “Natural talent, that's all.”

You giggle and shake your head. “Natural talent my ass. I know you, you’re not as smooth as you think you are.”

“Am so,” he quips and tries to slide his hand around your seat's headrest, but his arm slips and falls on your shoulders. He quickly tries to recover but it was too late you proved your point.

“Super smooth,” you say sarcastically.

Jean shrugs and nudges your shoulder with his fingers hovering over it. “You like it.”

You can't help but smile as you look away. And the moment you do you catch both Connie and Eric watching Jean and you with disgust, so you ignore their negativity and just look out the window with a happy smile on your face.

Levi is still missing but you feel content, and your heart feels at ease with the rest of your family finally back home.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

After a long day of waiting for Jean and the others to go through their long meetings, and after a short and kind of chaotic dinner you’re finally living through the part of the night you’ve looked forward to all day, considering you weren’t in their dreadful meetings.

You can’t say that you can party like when you were a soldier—it’s not that you don’t enjoy it, you just can’t bring yourself to get your mind too clouded just in case, but! You do enjoy the music and the vibe!

You just have to back away when Connie and your brother Eric try to force more wine down your throat.

“Jean can do it, I believe you,” you throw him under so he can take your place.

“Hey! Hey!” Connie exclaims and points his finger at you. “Those are not the rules. Coin flipped on you, you, drink!”

He's incredibly drunk.

“Hey, hey!” Eric cuts in and stands up. “You can’t force my sister to drink!” He exclaims and faces Connie with a pointed look.

“Whoa—”

“I can! Drink girl!” He shouts at you and swings his cup at you, causing Connie to burst out laughing.

“That’s what I'm talking about!” Connie exclaims and jumps up to throw his arm around Eric, making them both sway.

You roll your eyes but you still can’t help but smile softly over the fact that they’re getting along well.

However, you use this moment that they’re distracted to back away and escape before they keep pressing you to drink, leaving Jean to deal with them instead.

Sure there’s only so many places to hide in a small place, but you keep moving in between the crowd and actually catch Armin and Mikasa trying to dance along to the music. However, they’re tipsy so it’s not going well.

And luckily they don’t notice you so you keep moving along, but stop when you spot Reiner all by himself in some secluded corner of the cantina.

You haven’t talked to him since he got here, and you’ve been meaning to. You’ve been dreading it but you want to talk to him—should you though?

Yes! You’ve grown up, matured, pondered, and had three years to be upset! You need to make peace with this. He’s the last piece left.

So you walk over to him and casually sit beside him as you keep your eyes on Mikasa and Armin dancing.

“There’s a lot of pretty women out there,” you interject and smile proudly upon seeing your cousin's joy—“Why aren't you dancing? Do you have a girlfriend back in Marley?”

Reiner scoffs. “No,” he mutters. “I can’t seem to find the right one…” he trails off and you feel his stare on you. “You, do you have a…boyfriend?” He whispers hesitantly.

You shake your head. “No, but…” you sigh and glance at Jean, and catch him looking back at you. “…I have my eye on someone.”

You smile at Jean and look away to finally look at Reiner who hasn’t taken his eyes off you.

“Hm,” he hums and averts his gaze to clear his throat before he changes the subject. “Uh, how are you? I mean with everything. The reason why you left,” he says.

You let out a deep breath and shrug. “I’m…fine,” you hesitate to answer. “I’m not angry anymore,” you mention and continue because regardless of other things, he was still there. Once. But enough to motivate you to escape.

“I have nightmares here and there, they won’t go away. And sometimes…it crawls up on me, the fear that someone is around trying to get me…but,” you sigh and smile softly. “I’m okay now. I’m actually doing quite a lot with Historia and my brothers for the Underground. So I’m good.”

A small smile crawls on Reiner’s lips and he nods softly. “That’s good. I’m happy for you,” he says softly and averts his gaze.

“Thank you,” you whisper and shift in your seat to face him with determination to finally address the one thing that matters between him and you. “Reiner.”

Said man slowly meets your gaze and seems to look hopeful.

“I…can forgive you,” you jump straight to the point so he doesn’t get some false expectations about where this is going. “I can forgive you for taking away my best friend. I can forgive you for looking me in the eye all those times and lying to me, I can forgive you because I don’t want to hate you. Because I don’t want that in my heart anymore, but,” exhale deeply and look at him with a long frown. “I won’t forget. I’ll never forget what you did. And I know it might be stupid maybe, petty, but you still lied, and you still took him away from me. He was my best friend. I loved him,” your voice quivers. “And I…liked you, and it hurt.”

Reiner looks as if he was just shot, even though he expected you to say this, your words still wound him and finally make him realize that he and you will always live in the past.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters and scoots forward, making you raise your chin and nod in comprehension.

“Yes, I know you are and I forgive you. I can see us maybe being friends, but nothing else,” you admit the truth. “Do you understand?” You probe so he can get the right idea and not be delusional.

“I,” he breathes out heavily. “I understand.”

You offer him a kind smile and nod. “Good. That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Reiner looks away and quickly cuts in bluntly. “Do you love him?”

You blink in confusion and follow his line of gaze to see him looking at Jean walking over here.

“I…do,” you respond honestly and look back at Reiner curiously. “Why?” You ask.

Reiner snaps his eyes to you and leans forward to grab your hand and offer you a small smile. “Does he make you happy?” He asks.

You laugh softly. “We aren’t together at the moment, but, yes…why?” You probe.

Reiner draws in a deep breath and his smile falters. “That’s all I ask. That’s all I want for you. Even if it’s not with me.”

A pitiful frown tugs on your face. “Reiner,” you whisper.

Said man tugs his smile wider. “I’m happy for you, y/n. I really am. I hope you get everything you want out of life.”

You genuinely smile and nod. “You too, Reiner,” you redirect kindly. “You deserve it.”

Reiner breathes hitches and his smile falters, but he doesn’t break. Especially because Jean reaches the table.

“Sorry, Reiner but I need to talk to y/n,” Jean cuts in, making you let go of Reiner’s hand to twist around slowly and look at him with a quirked brow.

“Need to?” You inquire.

Jean meets your gaze and nods. “I’m not asking. Let’s go.”

Your heart skips a beat and you offer Reiner one last smile before you follow Jean outside.

“What is this about?” You probe without waiting to be away from all the noise. “Are you going to propose to me after our first day back together?” You tease and glance up at the sky, noticing the thick clouds that are quickly rolling in across the canvas, but missing the way he slowly steals a look at you.

“You know,” you add with a smile. “It’s good you didn’t have a girlfriend because I visit your mom often and have occasional lunches with her. It'd be weird.”

Jean scoffs softly. “Well it’s not really your fault, she loves you,” he reminds you of the fact. “She’d be nagging you and me if you didn’t visit.”

You look down at him and smile softly. Jean holds your gaze, and you grow the need to remind him how much you missed him even though the only time you’ve been apart since he’s gotten back was when he was in a meeting room. “I’ve missed you, Jean. I’ve missed talking to you. I…I’ve missed you.”

Jean’s lips curl to a smile. “I’ve missed you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return to you. “Now come on, just a bit further.”

You shoot him a puzzled look but don’t question him, you just hook your arm around his, and enjoy the peace in the silence at this time of night. You relish in the moist smell of incoming rain and smile at the feeling of his surreal presence.

“You know I think Ben really likes me,” Jean interjects making you look back at him. “Eric though…I think I need to work on him.”

You giggle. “Why?” You mess with him. “We aren’t dating or anything.”

Jean stops, forcing you to do the same and look at him with a playful smirk.

“No? So what are we then?” He quips.

You shrug. “You tell me,” you counter sweetly.

Jean swallows thickly and glances down before he grabs your face and leans in to slam his lips on yours, causing you to gasp softly out of shock, even though you crave the taste of his lips.

He then pulls away to cut off this interaction, but you pull him back in to really remind yourself of the feeling of his soft lips that desperately fall in sync with yours before he takes control and leads you in for an open-mouth kiss, as if he had been starving.

Then again you can’t say you’re any different, you throw your hands around his neck and run them up to clutch onto his hair to keep his mouth on yours as you tease him for a moment, before you slide your tongue over his bottom lip for him to take it in and suck on it as his hands grab onto your face.

You try to make a sound, but he takes your breath away and all you can manage to do is pull away to catch your breath, making him lean in to press gentle kisses on the corner of your mouth.

“Jean,” you whisper between pants.

Said man pulls back and licks his lips as he holds your gaze with a darkened gaze full of lust. “What about now?” He rebuttals. “Do you know what we are now?”

You glance at his lips and smirk as you shrug again. “Tell me.”

Jean grabs your chin and tilts your head up so you can meet his gaze. “You’re mine,” he clarifies. “No amount of space or time ever changed that. Sure I was upset, but I was stupid, and now I know you leaving was for the best,” he admits. “Because look at you. I’m proud of you, my love.”

Your eyes water and your smile trembles as your heart fills with bliss.

“And I like to think I’m a better man too,” he continues. “I’ve grown, matured, and I’m finally ready for a commitment that I was not ready for then.”

You grin and he leans in to press a soft kiss on your forehead before he steps back and slides his hand down to grab yours and tug you with him. “Come,” he points up the road.

However, just as you take a step in that direction drops of rain begin to sprinkle down, making Jean stop and look up.

“We have to hurry,” he cuts in.

Alas, that sprinkle changes to a pour that makes Jean let your hand go and drop his head.

“What?” You quire and grab his arm. “What's wrong? It’s just rain.”

Jean slowly looks up and shakes his head with an annoyed look on his face. “No,” he argues. “I had this entire thing planned with the stars, flowers, and all the stuff you like, but it’s ruined now because of the rain!”

You glance up up but quickly look back down when rain falls in your eyes, and beam at Jean through the thick raindrops. “I like the rain! I like the sound, and I like the sight of it when the light reflects over it for a second before it hits the ground!” You assure him through the pattering. “So, it’s okay!”

You tug him to continue forward, but he doesn’t budge, instead, he stays there and you notice his lips are parted and he’s looking at you with a softened gaze that makes you confused.

“What?” You ask. “What’s wrong?”

Jean's smile wobbles before he blurts, “marry me!”

Your confusion falls and you gasp.

Jean continues to grab your hands and falls on one knee. “I-I know this is our first day back together, we have a lot to catch up on, but I don’t want to waste any more of my time without you,” he exclaims. “I love you. Deeply. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, actually, every time I picture my life, you’re in it. I want to spend the future we fought so hard for to be spent with you. Forever. So please…marry me,” he whispers.

You wipe the tears and the rain off your face, but it’s pointless because more tears and rain stream down your face, leaving you drenched. So you just proceed to throw yourself on him and cry on his shoulder out of pure joy your heart is oozing out.

“Yes,” you cry happily. “I do. I want to spend my life with you too! I want forever with you.” You pull back and grab his wet face, “I love you, Jean Kirstein. You are my sun, you are my moon and my stars. Without you, it’d be like living underground in the dark again. So yes, I want forever with you too.”

Tears mix with the rain on Jean's face and his smile turns to a wide grin before he seals your distance with a passionate kiss, assuring you both of your desires.

——

*15 YEARS LATER*

The air underground isn’t as thick and suffocating as it once was. That stench of moisture, piss, and dirt has somewhat disappeared—that or you’ve grown used to the smell after thirty years.

Then again you would have heard complaints by now if it reeked under here. They wouldn't have kept quiet about that.

Regardless, the darkness underground doesn’t lurk in every corner like before. The houses that once stood tall are left abandoned and only used for criminals and the homeless.

6 years ago thanks to Historia’s help, your brothers, and you were finally able to give everyone a better life they deserve, a chance to live a longer life and not be stuck underground because of greedy people who got your ancestors stuck down here in the first place. Now only criminals run their businesses down here in a crumbling abandoned society.

And the only reason you’re down here is because you want to show your children where you and Levi were born, and that life can be tough but you can move past it, like Levi and Furlan did with you and their lives. Sure your kids don’t like the idea of being down here in a dirty place, they’re used to the sun on their skin, the grass under their toes, and the wind unfurling over their flesh. All they grew up with was a life of full bellies, common colds under warm beds, and attainable medicine. Jean nor you ever let them know suffering.

“When are we leaving? Eirene is coming over today!” You hear your first complaint, and of course, it’s from your six-year-old daughter, Star. She’s just like Jean. Even if Levi says she’s Kenny’s twin, in both appearance and personality.

Which, you don’t know if you should be offended by that or not. He’s your father, but there were also many things wrong with him.

“Aunt Mikasa and your cousin Eirene are not coming over until way later,” you correct Star. “We’ll be back home by then, so,” you sigh. “Why don’t you come help your grandpa here, hm?”

Levi peers over at you with a side glare, so you counter with a smirk.

“Okay!” Star exclaims and leaves her father's side to run over and throw herself on Levi’s lap which is the opposite of what you wanted her to do.

“Girl,” you argue, “that’s not—”

“It’s okay,” Levi cuts you off. “She’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Star groans and lays her head back against Levi’s shoulder. “He’s too heavy, I can’t push him. My arms will break! They almost did so yesterday.”

Jean and you share a teasing look, and just as you're going to play along, someone else cuts in.

“That’s impossible! You can’t break your arms by pushing a wheelchair, isn’t that right, pa?”

Levi shrugs. “I don’t know Lucian, I saw it happen once. But I also saw someone’s hands fall off because they were lazy.”

Lucian, your ten-year-old snickers, whilst Star’s jaw drops.

“That’s impossible,” she argues this time with a pout. “Right…dad?” She peers over at the man walking by your side and her blue eyes fill with worry.

Yet he does a horrible job at consoling her in between his stifled laughs. “Yeah,” he assures her. “Not true…maybe.”

Star sees through his mask hiding his stifled laugh and glares at him before she turns around and hugs Levi’s neck.

“You need a better poker face,” you scold Jean. “You suck and I’m a bad liar.”

Jean clears his throat and shifts the baby in his arms to his other side to let his eyes fully take you in. “I didn’t start it.”

“Yeah and we both know she can’t take it,” you rebuttal.

Jean laughs at the ground before he looks at the baby on his hip to offer her a teasing smile.

“No one appreciates a good joke do they?” He talks to the 8-month-old baby watching him with her deep brown eyes wide-eyed, and full of curiosity. “Will you?” He asks and scratches her little chin, making her laugh.

You smile in awe and grab his arm to lean over towards your baby. “Is your daddy being mean to you, Marceline? Tickling your cute chins, hm?”

The baby coos and stretches her fat arms over to try and grab you, but Jean hugs her against him so you wouldn’t take his little girl from him.

Marceline squeals and pushes herself up to hook her arms around his neck, making Jean press a kiss on her tiny dark curls.

And it seems she knows the reaction she got and what it means because she snuggles her face in the crook of his neck like she tends to do when he gives her any kind of affection. She just loves Jean, even if he and you aren't her biological parents.

Actually, you adopted her not so long ago, six years after the doctor told you that having a third baby would kill you due to your weak immune system. That was actually the reason why you were left in a bad state for weeks after you had Star.

Jean said he didn't want to put your life at risk and live through his worst fear, so you opted for adopting a few months back. And albeit you did worry that she wouldn’t be able to bond with either of you because of the lack of blood connection, you were proven wrong; the three of you instantly connected, and Star and Lucian didn't fail to do the same. Albeit it did take Star some time to get used to her new sister…she…hated her for some time.

But now! She adores her, even if she gets jealous of all the attention the baby gets.

“That’s no fair,” you complain and hug your husband's arm. “She likes you better.”

Jean turns his head to drop his eyes on you and shakes his head with a smirk tugging on his lips nonetheless. “You know that’s not true...but, it’s probably true.”

You know well it’s all a joke, you just like to tease him like now as you roll your eyes, and he reacts by throwing his other arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side the closer you get to your destination.

“But,” Jean whispers. “You’re my favorite girl.”

You can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips, and your heart from skipping a beat. “Good save,” you retort and slide your arm around his waist. “Smooth.”

Jean chuckles lightly. “Always am.”

You giggle and pull away to skip ahead when you approach the rock. The special rock under the gap on the ground that welcomes the sun inside, that was once a shining hope for Levi, Furlan, Isabel, and you.

“We’re here,” you announce proudly and turn to face your family.

Star studies the area and when she sees nothing but dirt and a rock, she scrunches her nose in disgust. “Ew,” she groans.

“Star,” Lucian scolds her. “That’s not nice.”

Your daughter ignores her brother and interjects. “What is this?”

You spin around and rush over to climb on the rock, finding it easier to climb it than when you were a little girl.

“This!” You exclaim happily. “Is a window into my past when Levi and I lived down here.”

You proceed to look around and see that a part of the ceiling has caved in so the gap is more like a decline that lets you come and go outside as you please, and that lets the sunlight shine brighter inside than ever before.

“Why here?” Lucian asks out of genuine curiosity.

“Well,” you sigh. “Back when I was young, people who lived underground couldn’t just go above ground. We needed special permits to live up there. And a lot of people here didn’t have the money, or the right connections to get those, so the only piece we had of the outside world was through gaps. Just like this one.”

Lucian glances up at the gap, making his light brown eyes gleam because of the sun's beam casting inside.

“You’d be here too, Pa?” Star asks Levi.

“Hm,” he agrees and picks up Star to get off his chair and walk towards the rock. “Your mom would love coming here. So we tried to come every weekend.”

Star stares hard at the gap, and Lucian finally breaks away from his spot to climb on with you.

“Do you think Uncle Eric and Uncle Ben came here?” Lucian asks.

You shrug as you take a seat. “I don’t know. We’ll have to ask….what do you think of this?”

Lucian studies his surroundings and he’s not as brazen as Star, you can see the wheels behind his turning as he tries to figure out something nice to say.

“It’s not the best place, not what you’re used to,” you whisper. “But you see that?” You point at the puddle of water across the rock. “At night when the moonlight hits here, all the puddles glimmer, and in the spring, because of the rain, clovers, moss, and wildflowers sprout on the dirt under the gap, and on the rock. In the winter, snow collects inside and people would come to enjoy it even if it was cold.”

Lucian looks at you and flashes you a sweet smile. You grin at him and ruffle his light brown hair.

“I don’t get it,” Star interjects.

“There’s nothing to get,” Levi rebuttals.

Star groans and drops out of Levi’s arms to run to the decline and look up at the sky for a moment before she smiles and runs above ground.

“Sorry,” Jean says as if it’s his fault she doesn’t get the appeal, but you’re glad she doesn’t.

“Well,” Lucian struggles to say. “It’s nice.”

You laugh softly and without having to be told you point your head outside. “You can go too.”

Lucian's eyes widen with guilt, so you offer him an assuring smile. “Go,” you insist. “It’s okay. We’ll be out in a minute.”

Lucian grins at you and quickly slides off the rock to chase after his sister and leave this cave.

“Well I think Marceline likes it,” Jean interjects and stands at the side of the rock.

You look down and just as you’re going to comment, a distant cry breaks in the air, and you know it comes from Star, so Jean and you share a knowing look.

“I’ll go,” he says. “Take the baby.”

You drag yourself to the edge and reach down to take the baby from Jean’s arms.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Star cries out, making Jean shout back.

“I’m goin’!”

You watch Jean jog out of the cave, and lose his figure when he’s above ground. You keep quiet and wait until you don’t hear Star stop crying when Jean tends to her to look down at your baby girl.

“You like it?” You ask her.

Marceline blinks and then begins to gnaw on her own fist.

“Cute,” Levi deadpans.

You snort and look back at him, and catch him carefully climbing up to join your side and look up at the blue sky thousands of miles above you.

“They don’t get it,” he says softly.

You turn Marceline around and let out a soft sigh. “No,” you say. “But I’m glad they don’t…it means we did good…right?”

Levi slides his hands in his pockets and nods in agreement. “Yeah. You did.”

“We did,” you correct him. “You won this war too. We did good. They don’t have to find beauty in this cave to try and stay hopeful. We fought for that.”

Levi hums and peers are you. “Why did you ask if you already know the answer?” He asks with a small smile.

You shrug. “I just wanted your opinion, but I should’ve known better.” You laugh softly and watch the sun ray that shines over the rock, and catch a beautiful orange and black monarch butterfly flutter inside.

“Would you look at that?” You muse to Marceline.

The baby is obvious to the insect until it surprisingly lands on her arm and startles her.

“It’s okay,” you coo. “It won’t hurt you.”

Marceline begins to breathe heavily as her eyes stay trained on the butterfly, but then she abruptly reaches for it.

Luckily though you catch her arm before she can snatch the delicate creature. “Careful,” you warn her sweetly and with a laugh. “Gentle. You have to be kind,” you whisper. “Remember that?”

Marceline shrieks and scares the butterfly away. She doesn’t let that discourage her though and squeals as she leans over to try and capture the butterfly already too far from her grasp.

“It’s gone,” you tell her. “Why don’t you say goodbye, Hm? Goodbye, butterfly.”

Marceline stays quiet for a moment as her eyes follow the butterfly out of the cave. And only once it’s out does she begin to open and close her hand as she mumbles. “Buh-byyy.”

You giggle and nod. “Yes! Good!” You encourage her and look up at Levi with pride before you look back at your daughter as she keeps her hand out as she notices the sunlight dancing on her chubby fingers.

“That’s the sun,” you let her know and put your own palm out.

Marceline glances at the sun on your palm and slaps her hand against yours as if trying to capture it.

“No, silly,” you interject. “It’s the sunlight. You can’t get it. Trust me I’ve tried.”

Marceline studies her hand and slowly turns it before putting her palm over yours so the sun would kiss her hand again.

“Sunlight,” try to make her say it. “Sunlight.”

Marceline giggles and doesn’t dare move her hand so the sun can keep clinging onto her, making you look at her with pride, whilst Levi looks down at the both of you in awe.

This is all he wanted. For you to have a good life, to be happy.

You have that now and much more. He sees that every day and all he can feel is pride and awe for you. He feels grateful that you had a chance to have the world. And yes, it started a bit painful, you knew suffering for some time, but you have all he wanted you to have, love, a future, a legacy, pure joy, and hope and he’s grateful for that every day he sees you.

However, what brings the most pride is that he kept his promise to Kenny, and himself, he took care of you. And that’s why you are and will always be his favorite achievement. You are his pride, his joy, and his hope. Forever.

A/N- Thank you, thank you and thank you a hundred more times to everyone who came along in journey with me and supported this fanfic series!! I really hope you all liked the ending, and I will always be grateful to all of you!! I hope to keep seeing you all around!!

Tagged- @expectoscamander @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 @avocadopoosae @romancried @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow @stareatceiling @padfootii @ravensleepyeyes @thanosisadilf @dawneee @babyyblueey @leahseclipse @ifimnotabushimnoone @luvelyxp @ameliabs-world @dragon-master-kai

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kzlove · 10 months

Text

connie's sister's got it goin' on

jean thought his friends were bluffing when they told him connie's sister was the shit.

warnings : slight suggestive, eren and armin are pervs, jean speaks a lil french, not proofread

part two

driving in the rain sucked ass.

connie had conviced jean to go out with him to a few places that still made his head spin when he tried to think about it.

of course, connie was like this kid that was never allowed outside of his yard.

anything fun? yeah of course the homies gotta go with him.

sadly, eren was too busy catching up with college work, and armin had tutoring on saturdays.

sasha has a boyfriend, and mikasa is practically obsessed with her girlfriend.

the only person that was free was jean, who never minded going out with connie.

safe to say, it was never boring.

but of course, connie's unprepared ass never checked to see how the weather would be when planning to spend the day outside.

so they were driving back to connie's in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of a thunderstorm.

"mother nature needa close her legs." connie grumbled, watching the road like the passenger princess he was.

jean rolled his eyes in return. before he could get his word out, lighting struck loudly.

ooo mother nature didn't like connie for that statement he made. it rained harder, if even possible.

jean was able to get them both to connie's house safely, parking outside due to connie and a few other family member's cars parked in the garage.

yeah.. connie had a big family.

in the home was connie, his parents, his younger sister, three younger brothers, and his older sister.

the older sister was rarely at the house though, having a job and her own place in another state.

but with their parents away on their anniversary, someone had to watch the kids.

and connie really isn't that reliable. the poor kids wouldn't even step foot out of the house for school or eat anything other than junk food.

so his older sister decided to come down and help out.

"i hope you don't plan on going home in this weather." connie said, turning to jean with a light frown.

once again, before jean could respond, something had interrupted him.

this time, it was connie, taking the keys of of the ignition and dashing onto the porch, hood over his head in a jiffy.

jean groaned in annoyance before following suit.

"you didn't have to do all of that." jean complained immediately when he made it to the porch.

connie mocked the boy beside him, unlocking the door and holding it open for jean in a cheesy smile.

"i'm home! what's that smell?!" connie yelled over the tv, his three younger brothers playing the game loudly.

jean heard loud footsteps, but didn't pick up his heaad while he balanced on connie to take his shoes off.

"it's actual cooked fuckin food- jesus connie i thought i told you to tell me if you were bringing guests!" jean heard an unfamiliar voice yell from the stairs.

jean looked up and goodness..

the sight before him was gorgeous.

there you stood, wearing a white t-shirt that barely even left your hips.

you were filled out in all of the best ways, a mean scowl on your face directed towards the man beside him.

all jean could think about was 'if you could see it from the front...'

what snapped him out of his thoughts was your eyes on him as you cleared your throat.

jean muttered a small sorry and turned around, giving some privacy at least.

"wouldn't have to if you'd wear some goddamn clothes." connie shot back, rolling his eyes with an exasperated groan.

"i'm sorry you still haven't fixed the fan in the kitchen so i sweat fucking bullets when i have to cook." you scoffed, walking back upstairs.

jean turned around when he heard you were halfway up the stairs.

and goodness was that ass fat-

"okay jean. you can use the bathroom near my room to shower and shit. i'm gonna use my sisters." connie said, gesturing to upstairs.

jean nodded, swallowing lightly and making his way upstairs.

he walked into the bathroom near connie's room like he was told to, and immediately called the boys group chat after he'd shut the door.

that definitely didn't include connie.

it was a conversation made when tey were planning a surprise party for connie, and never ended up deleting it.

it's only really used to play imessage games now though.

eren and armin immediately answered, confused as to why this chat was being called.

"bro y'all are fake." jean whispered harshly, glaring at the phone.

"what'd i do this time? the aloe vera was mika's idea." eren complained, rolling his eyes while propping his phone up.

jean disregarded what was said.

eren's hair was down and he was shirtless, some comic book in his hand.

armin looked like he had just gotten back from his tutoring session.

his bag was in hand and his phone wasn't showing his face like it always was.

"why didn't either of you tell me his sister was like that?!" jean exclaimed quietly, raising his eye brow.

eren bursted into laughter, making armin follow along and pause in his steps through his house.

jean cursed quietly, turning his volume down to hide their ill jokes and laughter.

"aye! tell mama if she done fuckin that lawyer she with, i got a big one waiting in my lap!" armin joked, grinning at the camera.

"let her know papi extraña ese lindo coño!" eren said, pressing his tongue between his index and middle fingers teasingly.

jean rolled his eyes, ignoring his friends whistles and moans.

a few knocks at the door got jean's attention, making him pale.

"please don't let anyone hear them." jean begged under his breath, before getting ready to hang up.

eren and armin noticed, and laughed at him and his predicament.

"remember! tell her it cures to the right! presses right on that g-spot!" "she could wear whatever she want, i can fight and my name is moanable! i'll fight that man for her too!"

jean hung up quickly, opening the door.

to his luck, you were standing at the door holding a fluffy pink towel and some clothes.

"hey. jean right? connie said to bring you some clothes. sadly, i could only find this towel." you explained, gesturing to what's in your hand.

jean swallowed before nodding, taking the pile of stuff from you.

"thanks." he said quickly, before taking the pile of stuff from you.

he decided on getting in the shower and trying to take his mind off you before he had a.. problem.

when jean came out of the shower, he made a beeline straight for connie's room.

he felt like he might die if he seen you immediately after his shower.

luckily, connie was in there with a blunt in his mouth and the video game already on.

"took you long enough." connie mumbled, still holding onto the spliff.

jean rolled his eyes and took a seat on the bed, kicking his legs up and getting comfortable.

connie took another look at jean and chuckled. "you look like you got a compression shirt on." connie teased.

jean flipped him off, swiping open his phone and opening a random game.

connie began playing music, the tunes blasting out of the sound system he and eren hooked up to his tv a year back.

before he could get any further into the song, his door was thrown open and in came his older sister.

"if you're gonna play music, play something good at least." you said, nearly shouting over the music.

jean quickly grabbed the remote and muted the speaker to clearly hear you speak.

you were wearing some pants now, though it didn't really do you any justice.

they were riding up your thighs, cupped right under your butt.

jean had to force himself to look away.

thankfully, connie had begun speaking to you to catch his attention.

"get out of my room! and put some proper fuckin' pants on. you look like a slut." connie complained immediately.

you rolled his eyes and flipped him off immediately.

"dinner will be ready in five, do not light that in here." you warned, picking up his nike slides and tossing them at him.

before he could throw them right back, you walked out and slammed the door hard.

so hard, the hoop behind it fell off.

connie groaned in annoyance, complaining about how he had just fixed the shit and now it's broken again.

the man stood up, stretched his limbs out, and looked towards jean.

"let's go smoke this before we eat." connie said, walking out to the balcony attached to his room.

jean followed him, happy for the roof his parents had built in for them.

by them he meant connie and, well, you.

they had the biggest rooms with a balcony attached to both.

connie sat on one of the chairs and jean sat across from him, leaning back as he watched his friend light the spliff.

"this is the first time you've hung out with me in a hot minute, jeanboy." connie stated, taking a pull.

jean chuckled, kicking his legs up on the extended couch. "yeah well, you know i'm always buried in work." jean replied.

connie nodded, handing the spliff over to jean after taking two more pulls.

jean ashed it a bit, but before he could pull it to his mouth, it was snatched out of his hand.

he looked up and seen you, spliff tucked between your plump lips.

"you're in my spot, jeanboy." you teased, taking a seat beside him.

connie rolled his eyes, though he half expected you to find your way out on the balcony for the spliff he rolled.

because if there was anything connie was good at, it was rolling.

never too thick, never too skinny. just right and good enough to get you high.

you took a pull, blowing the smoke out of your nose with a long sigh.

"haven't smoked in so long." you chuckled, leaning back and closing your eyes.

"what happened to that lawyer you were with? daddy let's you smoke now?" connie snorted, looking at you from the corner of your eye.

you put your middle finger up, choosing you ignore his comment and hand the spliff back over to jean.

he took a pull, face turning a bit red after a slight realization.

your gloss hand stained the brown paper a faded pink.

he tries to ignore it, blowing the smoke out of his mouth and handing it back to connie.

"you connie's new friend? never seen you before." you questioned, leaning back onto the seat.

jean shook his head, taking another pull. "m'actually one of his longest friends. just real busy." jean said in return.

you nodded, raising your eyebrows lightly and looking at connie.

"ya hear that? i actually have friends." connie teasing, shooting you a lazy grin.

"mhm. he's probably staying for the weed." you shot back, gratefully taking the blunt from him.

jean choked lightly, chuckling at the bewildered face connie had immediately made.

"i'll have you know i made him some mean friendship bracelets when we were in middle school." connie scoffed, sitting up from his seat.

you rolled your eyes and mocked connie under your breath, before handing the spliff to him.

"what's your major, jeanboy?" you asked, turning your attention back to the man next to you.

jean raised his eyes to look at you, before leaning back.

"i'm majoring in fine arts." jean replied, looking up at the dangling stars on the roof.

you must've hung them up there when you were younger.

jean heard you coo lightly, turning his attention right back over to you.

you were pretending to pose a bit, smiling. "draw me like one of your french girls." you joked.

jean has heard that line so many times from other girls that tried to hit on him, but for some reason?

when it came from your mouth, he seriously wanted to draw you.

he laughed lightly, rolling his eyes and looking back at the ceiling.

"alright. i gotta piss. don't fuck my sister, jeanboy." connie teased, handing you the roach he left behind to toss out.

no promises.

you flipped him off again, before placing the roach in the tray.

it grew silent between the two of you, not exactly knowing what to say to each other.

"you don't speak spanish, right?" you questioned, looking at jean.

jean shook his head. "french, actually." he informed, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

you sat up with a start, a smile adorning your face.

"seriously?" you exclaimed, face lighting up like a kid on christmas.

he could feel you scanning his face, and confirming his statement on your own.

his jawline, his nose, his eyes. if he wasn't completely french, some part of him definitely was.

"then you'll seriously have to draw me." you chuckled, relaxing back into your seat.

"are you fluent?" you questioned once more, leaning your head onto the back of the seat.

jean nodded, sitting up to face you. he had a question in mind.

"say some thing." you demanded lightly, nudging him with your arm.

jean inhaled, thinking about what he wanted to say.

then, it was almost as if a lightbulb appeared atop his head.

"je voudrais dormir avec toi." jean said with a smirk, looking you in your eyes.

his accent was heavy, which just made you even more interested in what he just said.

"what does that mean?" you asked, shifting closer to him with a small smile on your face.

jean put his finger to his lips, deeming his words a secret.

he just knew connie would kill him if he found out what he said to his sister.

"since you've asked so much of me, how about i ask something in return?" jean suggested.

you nodded, agreeing to answer any question he had.

"what did happen with you and that lawyer guy?" he questioned, looking at you.

you sighed, leaning back into the seat.

it grew quiet once more. you were hesitating to answer his question.

maybe he should've kept his curiosity to himself.

before he could take it back though, you spoke. "ah. i dumped him. much too controlling. don't tell con?" you smiled.

he knew what you were talking about.

connie goes hard for his family. it was obvious when he told his little sister's bully to 'get yo bumass brother' and beat the shit out of him.

imagine what he and his friends would to do the guy if he found out what he did to his sister.

"but that's good. means you can really draw me like rose when connie's asleep." you whispered in his ear, running his hand over your waist.

jean swallowed thickly, feeling you lean into him. "you know where my room is." you whispered, pressing a kiss to his jawline.

he never responded, only watching as you walked into your room.

jean was so bragging about this to eren and armin.

but only after he comes out of your room later tonight. he'll need the proof.

je voudrais dormir avec toi -> i would like to sleep with you

#jean kirschstein #jean kirschtien #jean kirestein #jean kirstein #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean kirstein x reader #jean x reader #jean x y/n #connie aot #connie springer #jean aot #aot fanfiction #aot fluff #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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weeabooofficial · 4 months

Text

Eren Yeager and his Immaculate Ability to be a Nuisance. -J.K. [18+]

Tags: smut, closet sex, cockblocking, Eren should be a warning on his own, dirty talk, language, modern au

Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Hi, hello. I'm not fucking dead like y'all thought. 2023 threw me for a loop with my writing, and then I had every intention of posting this for my birthday, back in July (If that tells you how long I have had this sitting in my docs). And then I wanted to post this in celebration of the finale of AoT coming out...

and then I fucking hated how it ended and had a four hour long rant over it.

So here we are in 2024, and I am finally posting this. Big thanks to my bff (best fishy friend) @offendedfishnoises for helping me with this all those months ago.

Eren Yeager must have thought he was a fucking genius, a comedic genius. Why else would he keep pulling the same bullshit over and over?

It all started when you first met Jean, your friend was throwing a party at her apartment and you decided to go. The two of you met, and hit it off really well. So well in fact, that you and Jean were officially dating by the end of the month.

Everyone seemed happy for you, everyone but one person.

That person just so happened to be, Eren fucking Yeager.

You and Eren had been friends for years, since you were children. It was only a matter of time before he took you getting into a relationship with the person he loved to annoy most, personally. To you, Eren took everything personally but that was just the way he seemed.

Eren cared for you, he really did. Growing up together, as close as friends could be, he just wanted you to be taken care of.

However, it wasn’t his fault that his favorite pastime was pissing Jean off to no end.

You didn’t notice what he was doing at first, it being the occasional interruption while you were having a moment with your boyfriend, but it only escalated from there.

It was Sasha’s annual Christmas Party, everyone in your friend group was invited and then some; to include you and Jean. The snow was falling, and the two of you were curled up together on the couch in front of the warm fire.

Jean’s hand rested on your thigh, just wanting to keep you close. Your head was on his shoulder, inhaling his warm, musky scent that made your nerves tingle.

You didn’t even get five minutes alone together before Eren came in with a plate filled with sweets and squeezed himself in between the two of you on the couch.

This was fine, you told yourself. Eren was always like this, but that was before it got worse.

By the end of the night, not only was Eren between you; but Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Annie, Berdtholdt, everyone you knew was squished between you and Jean, forcing you on opposite ends of the couch with the arms digging into your side as they chatted away.

Jean shot you a look from the other side of the room, a sorrowful smile on his face. It wasn’t like you could actually do anything to stop all of them from sitting between you, but you knew exactly what they were doing.

Eren was making it his life’s mission to make sure you and Jean didn’t have a moment alone together, and you didn’t realize how bad it would get until it was too late.

No matter where you were, at work, the store, even at your apartment, every time you and Jean tried to do more than share a kiss, Eren was there butting his way in.

Of course, Jean was angry and rightfully so. All he wanted to do was share a moment alone with you, and he was starting to get desperate.

“Babe, this is getting fucking ridiculous. He is your friend. Stop him.”

You stopped folding the shirt in your hands and gave Jean a look, “You’re friends with him too dumbass, besides what makes you think he will listen to me?”

Putting the shirt he had in the stack, Jean shrugged. “I dunno, I thought you would maybe scare the shit out of him like you do everyone else.”

“I do not–”

“Connie and Sasha refused to talk to you for the first week you scared them so bad.”

You gave Jean an unimpressed look. “That’s because I told them to stay out of my pantry, it’s not a free for all.”

A grin found its way on Jean’s face. “But you’ll let me into your pantry,” Wrapping his arms around your waist, he waggled his eyebrows giving you that look.

Before he got any further, you shoved his head away with your palm on his face. “Any chance you had getting laid tonight, ended with that comment.”

Jean looked at you with a pout on his lips, “Aw come on babe, you know you can’t resist me.”

“I can and will,” you hummed, continuing to fold the clothes.

You loved Eren, you really did. Even when he was being a little shit, you cared for him like a brother.

But that love was dwindling, and it was dwindling fast.

There was only so much you could take, between your job at the office and Jean’s at the family company, you almost never saw each other. That left no time to talk, not time together and no time for romance.

And with Eren making his presence known every single fucking time you were close to doing anything, your patience was wearing thin.

Jean was just as desperate as you were, so when you showed up one day with lunch wearing a tight little skirt and killer heels to match, Jean all but dragged you to the closest closet and locked the door.

His lips were on yours in a matter of seconds as he bunched the bottom of your skirt towards your hips.

Jean’s touch on your thighs was like fire, with weeks of denial igniting it within you. Prying your mouth open with his own, Jean slotted his hips between yours as he swallowed each little sound you made.

“Fuck–” you gasped against his lips, feeling his cock grind against your heat through his pants. The rough material adding friction to the area which desperately needed attention.

“Jean please–” you begged, hands gripping the back of his shirt pulling at the material as if it was personally offending you.

With a hand still holding you against the wall, Jean made quick work of undoing the belt of his pants before popping the button and pulling the zipper.

“Hold on baby, I’ll take care of you.” Shoving his pants down just enough, his cock sprung out of his pants slapping against the skin of your thigh. Jean moved the string of your thong aside and swiped his fingers through your folds.

A gasp tore through you, your body jolting in his hold.

“Fuck–” he choked, feeling your slick pool between your thighs. “This pussy is already so wet for me, you that desperate for my cock?”

His breath fanned over your face as you ground your hips against his hands, pulling at the hairs on the nape of his neck as he thrusted two digits into your cunt.

“Jean–Jean please!” you begged, looking up at him with those pleading eyes that had him so weak, he’d do whatever you wanted.

Banging his fist against the wall, Jean couldn’t ignore the doe-eyed look you had. So sweet, so innocent, when he knew you were anything but in the privacy of your own home.

Jean knew the way you looked when you were bent over, taking his cock round after round begging him for more; to fill you with his hot cum to the point it spilled out around his shaft. Jean knew the way you looked, when you were on your knees sucking his cock like it was your day job. The way your pretty lashes fluttered up at him as you made sinful movements with that devilish tongue of yours that had him bucking his hips making you gag around him.

It was the same way you were looking at him, and he had barely touched you.

Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, Jean thought of making you wait this long again if it got you looking like this for him once more.

Using his hips, and other hand, Jean hoisted you higher up his hips before thrusting into you. The sounds you made made his head spin, fuck you sounded to pretty too. Biting his fist that was against the wall, Jean held in his moans as he watched you absolutely lose it finally being able to feel him this deeply within you.

You paid no mind to the uncomfortable feeling of your skirt pressing against your stomach as you began to rock your hips, wordlessly trying to convince him to go deeper.

“Fuck–, missed this pussy so bad.” his breath tingled against your ear, wracking your body in shudders as he continued to thrust his hips, stretching you to take his cock.

Your moans filled the closet, the soft grunts Jean made in your ear as he fucked you for the first time in what felt like forever. Hands grabbing at whatever you could reach, you pulled his lips down to yours, senses filled with the smell of his cologne and the taste of his morning coffee on his tongue as it bullied its way into your mouth, laying his claim on you.

Jean’s hand moved from your waist, to the button up blouse you were wearing. “Wanna see these pretty tits baby–” he gasped between kisses. “Wanna hold them, play with them, squeeze them. You’d like that, yeah?”

All you could manage was a nod as Jean ripped the buttons of your blouse open, a few popping off and landing on the floor. Neither of you cared, as he hastily pulled your bra down your shoulders and chest until he could grasp your tits in his hands.

The sounds from the hall outside were drowned out by the blood pumping in your ears, not caring one bit who heard Jean fucking you senseless in a tiny closet. The two of you were so lost in the feeling of each other's bodies, you didn’t notice the lock get picked with the handle slowly turning before you were blinded by light coming in from the hall.

Jean quickly used his body to cover yours, keeping your dignity intact not caring about his one bit.

Over his shoulder, you saw the face of Eren Fucking Yeager and the slight smirk in his face when he realized what he caught the two of you doing.

“I was wondering where–”

“Get the fuck out Yeager,” Jean hissed, grateful that his arms were filled with you so he couldn’t turn around and knock his teeth in.

“Oh come on, Jean. You don’t want to share?”

That was your last straw.

“Eren, get lost or I will rip your dick off and feed it to the dogs.”

You watched the expression on his face morph from his usual cocky confidence, to a flicker of fear. It was a far-fetched threat, sure, but with the death glare you were giving him, Eren wasn’t sure if you were serious or not.

And he didn’t want to find out.

Clearing his throat, Eren suddenly looked away before shutting the closet. “Carry on,” before you heard it lock once again.

Only taking a few seconds to recover, Jean readjusted his grip on you before looking down at you with a grin.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think with the way your pussy tightened around my dick that you actually liked getting caught.”

Immediately, your face got hot. Shaking your head, you opened your mouth to respond before it was cut off with Jean grabbing your jaw at an angle that kept your mouth open.

“Don’t bother lying baby, I know you liked it.”

Your eyes widened at the look on his face, squirming under his heated gaze. “No I–”

“Maybe I should fuck you in my office next time,” he hummed. Within moments, Jean pulled out of you before flipping your body around and thrusting into you from behind. “Bend you over the desk, taking you like this for hours as everyone around us hears how well you take my cock, hm?”

Bracing yourself on the wall, you couldn’t ignore the way your walls fluttered around his dick when he said those words.

Jean chuckled, wrapping his arms around you pressing his hips into your ass as he fondled your tits. Enjoying the little gasp you let out feeling him tug on your nipples, you arched into his touch feeling a hand travel up your chest and throat before forcing two of his fingers in your mouth.

“Maybe, I could have you suck me off with this pretty little tongue of yours.” Your mouth was forced open, his fingers pressing down on your tongue refusing to let your moans be softened. Jean wanted to hear every sound you made, as he speared you open on his dick.

The moans you let out had Jean cursing, his hips stuttering as he got close to the edge. “You’d like that wouldn’t you? Sucking me off under my desk as you hump my foot, desperate for me to touch you?”

You tried pleading with him, your orgasm so close now that you were incoherent. A couple more thrusts of his hips as you choking out his name as your orgasm washed over you in a violent wave of ecstasy, coating his dick in the creamy white substance.

“Fuck, baby. Just a little more and I’ll fill you so full, it’ll drip down your legs.”

The debauched moan you let out was drowned out by Jean’s grunts and growls as he kept pistoning his hips against yours, before he came with a loud cry, burying himself to the hilt making sure you took every drop of his seed.

As the room quieted down, you heard his breaths in your ear as Jean pressed kisses to your shoulder.

“You–,” he panted, “You are so fucking amazing baby.”

You were at a loss for words, nothing on your mind but how good it felt to be filled by Jean. Tilting your face to look at him, Jean smiled down at you while his bangs hung in his face. “I love you so fucking much,”

Smiling against his lips, you hummed in agreement. “I love you, too.”

Tag list: Because I must bully you all with my writng, suck it up and love me anyway. @pinksthetics @awalkingshame @hex-the-rabbit @meowzfordayz @nanaoise08squad@loafingdragon @narakussy

#Costly Affairs #Jean Kirstein #Jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein fanfic #jean kirstein fic #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean kirstein reader insert #jean kirstein x you #jean kirstein x y/n #attack on titan fic #aot fic #jean kitstein smut #attack on titan smut #aot smut

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everythingseasoning · 1 year

Text

AOT Scouts as your bf/gf pt. 1 (Requested)

NOTE: I’m redoing this post so that it’s better quality :) and adding in more characters for the head canons. Revised post will be out on ?Saturday? as a new post.

*Characters are 18+, content is SFW

Eren (the scout)

The early stage of your relationship with Eren:

Somebody once said, “A cheetah doesn’t change its spots overnight.” Meaning that a person can’t so quickly change their nature.

The same goes for Eren Jaeger: No matter how many times you try to lecture him about his habit of impulsively risking his life during missions, he can’t help but accidentally come close to dying again on the very next mission.

(Luckily, he has Mikasa to cover him, and Armin to form smart battle strategies that put him in less danger).

—It’s not that Eren doesn’t value your opinion, it’s just that he’s naturally a reckless spirit. Eren immediately does whatever his heart screams is the right thing to do. He doesn’t use his head, but he uses his entire steely will and incredible power, to save dying comrades and complete mission goals.

In the heat of battle, Eren has to either abandon the idea of you, OR the idea of giving in to the titans, and let unjust deaths occur. He often chooses to abandon the former.. you…

... Still, everytime he returns from those missions (after a close brush with death), he hugs you guiltily, and you can just *tell* what he’s trying to communicate to you: I’m sorry. I love you. I had to do it.

After just a year with you:

Eren has fallen deeply, deeply in love with you. (I mean, this dude falls fast, and hard, like a bowling ball crashing through an old wooden floor ok– he is DEVOTED to you, you can’t shake him off, he’s a barnacle—)

Once upon a time, Eren only had one goal that consumed his mind: kill all titans. Then he met you. Eren needs to kill all titans, and stay alive so he can spend time with you, being with you whenever and wherever you want to go. You’re the f*cking love of his life.

So now he has two goals; Eren promised himself he’d do whatever he could to not only save fellow soldiers, but to also actively try to stay alive for you, for his future with you. This means that Eren absolutely cannot let himself die, that he must devise strategies in battle that allow him to keep himself alive while saving the most people…

Eren literally took lessons from Armin on “Quick Thinking” (Lessons summarized: When confronted with a problem, look at the issue, and then at resources around you that you can use, and try to find a solution using those resources), and another lesson from Armin, on “Devising Quick Strategies in the Midst of Battle.”

…Though Eren would’ve let himself die a year ago if it meant he helped the Scouts— it’s a different story now. Eren can’t ever fully shake the hold you have on him— the love he has for you— the promise on his tongue that he swore to you in the middle of the night after you woke up screaming from a nightmare, sobbing because you “really saw him die.”

So Now, when Eren is out on missions, he is focused on the chaos and action happening around him at any moment— but in any second that he isn’t in imminent action, he sees your face in his mind. And he remembers all over again what he is fighting for: your safety. He unlocked a level of protective desire unlike anything seen before.

Fluff fluff fluff:

1) You’re there, waiting at the gate everytime Eren returns from a mission. You literally have a f*cking meltdown when you spot him— the stress and fear melting your legs into jelly as you sink into the ground— and Eren has made it a point to get off his horse and run to catch you before you fall, wailing on the ground.

2) Eren will hold you as you cry, kind of half teasing you like, “It’s like you’re the one who went out on the mission, not me.”

3) Sorry to say that you now have a name for yourself in town, too, and everybody knows you as “Eren’s sweet (crybaby) girlfriend” – Because of this you often get free snacks and gifts whenever you walk around the market whenever the scouts are out on mission—

4) When you and Eren arrive home, you’ll have stopped being uber emotional, but now it’s Eren’s turn to brood: he usually showers before sitting on the couch and staring at the table with dull, empty eyes, and you have to walk him through the trauma and loss he just endured… Because honestly, talking is a great medication…

5) Eren will always feel better after talking with you. It’s like a rush of warmth flows from his heart, gushing throughout his body, and he grabs you, pulling you flush to his chest, eyes scrunched shut as he tells you how much you mean to him.

6) —He’s also secretly so relieved you aren’t in danger. He’s happy you aren’t a scout— because you keep him sane in this cruel world—

7) You will then show Eren the snacks you’ve accumulated while he was away that day, and he’ll just insist on f*cking feeding you like you’re a little bird or something. But he looks so happy so you just go with it.

At sundown, you two will take remaining snacks and a blanket, go to an open field, and eat together while watching the sunset. You two will usually talk about whatever hobby you’ve picked up, and Eren will build off your excitement and ideas; i.e. if you’re talking about a book you read on animal biology, you’ll be talking about how whales once had hip bones because they descended from a four-legged animal— and Eren will say, “Imagine riding a whale on the ocean!” “Eren we’d get salt water sprayed all over us, they have a blowhole!” “But just imagine it!” “...That’d be surreal.” And you two will giggle and feel such wonder about the world. He’s your best friend and lover, who makes life more exciting.

Jean (the scout simp)

The early stage of your relationship with Jean:

Jean with a non scout lover… Ohhhh boy, hahaha:

Jean had SUCH a mental crisis after he met you: he wondered if he should’ve chosen the Military Police instead of the Survey Corps, so that he had a better chance of staying alive, and living his days out with you.

You assured him that you wouldn’t have dated him if he didn’t join the corps (LMAO). This did make Jean’s mental crisis stop, because damn he would rejoin the scouts if it meant you’d be his girlfriend. And, you told Jean that you admire his courage, and that you’re so proud of him for being brave, for not choosing to stay lax after seeing the evil nature of titans. You told Jean that he’s leader material, just like Marco said.

When you’re comfortable in the relationship:

—On that Marco note, Jean is beyond relieved that you’re a normal citizen, and not a scout. He already lost the only person her ever considered a true friend.

During missions, Jean gets courage to do terrifying things from knowing that you’re back at home, safe, waiting for him :’) oml..

He’s gotta make it back to you!

And Jean has such a soft spot for you, you who reminds him of Marco. He loves it when you praise him, and give him attention. He loves it when you make it clear that you love *him* — when you point out his strengths, etc.

God— he loves you— you make him feel like he’s alive— He will smother you in kisses when you two are alone, if you even so much as smile at him.

AND OH. MY LORD…

Jean would also definitely tell ALL the scouts about you, “his girl.”

For example, “Jaeger you better not f*ck this mission up— I can’t die, because I have to get back to my girl!”

Another example, “Connie, one day, you’ll be as lucky as me, and have an amazing girlfriend who makes you so happy, who you love more than anything else.”

And one more example, when Jean is drunk at a Survey Corps Celebration Dinner, “Did you guys know that my girl and I are going to get married?! I’m—I’m gonna marry that lady!”

“Shut up Jean, you’ve only been dating her for six months!”

“I’m gonna marry her,” he says wistfully, a faraway look in his eyes, his face flushed deep pink.

Fluff fluff fluff:

1) When Jean gets back from missions, he is *exhausted.* He’s seen comrades die, and he’s so tired after having gone through terrifying events… When Jean sees your face though, he remembers why it’s all worth it: He’s helping the Survey Corps so that he can ensure (to the best of his abilities), that you have a life within the walls, safe, and sound.

2) When he sees you, he just feels relief. He just feels like everything is right again. TT oh my lord I’m gonna cry writing this ANYWAY (I wanna be loved like that tho–)

3) Jean forcesX asks you to wear matching necklaces. Jean likes that you two look like a pair.

Not fluff:

And Jean is a sucker for s*x — I am so sorry I had to say it— I *had* to (!not an exaggeration!). But this is supposed to be SFW— so that’s all ima say about this. (18+ people only: you check out my other posts for NSFW content though. Minors DNI with nsfw tho, you’re banished until you’re old enough, thems the rules, ily tho).

Historia (the scout my wife) Author’s very important note: I would fight Ymir (and lose) to be Historia’s girlfriend ok– Also this one is sooo self indulgent but you can’t tell me it doesn’t work with her character—

Historia will fight for anybody and everybody who needs a savior. She’s been through sh*t, and she won’t settle for others to be abandoned like how she was. (She just like me fr, can we kiss now??).

ANYWAYS. (no but i have to tell y'all, I have a terrible savior complex OK BYE MOVING ON—)

Historia is dedicated to saving those that need saving. That also means that she’s determined to stay alive— she needs to be here on Earth so that she’s able to keep helping people who are in need. People in need, which includes you—

—Historia is no stranger to your sappy, long poems that describe in bewitching detail how much she lights up your life, and is your inspiration,

and how she is your anchor in this insane world…

and how she is the definition of ‘beauty’ in life, etc, etc—

You need her, and you’re her girlfriend, and Historia is glad she’s able to be something good for you.

During missions, Historia is in her element: as she flies through the air, slashing titan necks, protecting Captain Levi’s squad, she is calm, knowing that she is aiding in the salvation of humanity. (Miss girl is driven by the urge to be helping people, it’s her stabilizer).

Historia is also gaining courage from you, knowing that you are helping humanity in your own way at the very moment that she’s fighting titans: you’re encouraging kids to be model citizens with integrity in their hearts. She’s fighting for humanity’s survival, and you’re fighting for humanity’s spirit.

Because she’s a scout, you worry for Historia’s safety, but you also know that she can handle herself. Still, she’s your girlfriend, and you worry, and fret, during every single minute that she’s away

— Usually you channel this energy through baking. You’ll make cherry pies, blueberry scones, butter cake, lemon cookies, chocolate mousse, candied ginger, and more, non-stop, whenever Historia is away. You *need* that distraction to function through your mind-numbing fear.

But, unfailingly, Historia always returns home to you, and you two will GORGE on the delicious sweets you’ve made, starting from the very moment she first arrives back: When Historia comes back from a mission, upon seeing you she’ll hop off her horse with renewed energy, half walk-run to you like a haloed, stunning, adorable angel, and hug you tightly, before you shove a dessert in her mouth: the sweet, tangy flavor erupting on her tastebuds. After an intense, cruel, dirty mission, the sharp plunge of sugar is a reminder of the beautiful things in life: you. The both of you laugh before kissing each other deeply, tasting fruit on each other’s tongues (this is SFW, right??)

In your free time, you and Historia will sometimes do charity work together, including tilling the fields, milking cows, picking apples, doing donations, etc. Even hard work is fun when you’re doing it with somebody you enjoy talking to, especially if you both believe in the cause. On other occasions, the two of you will give yourselves time to *be people* — usually this means snuggling together on the couch, having deep talks, and just holding each other.

Also, Historia loves *you*. She loves how kind you are, and how you work as a teacher at Trost Elementary. Historia feels a lot of her energy is fueled by the loop of goodness you two share and believe in (helping the world).

Plus, Historia is endlessly grateful to have a warm, safe person to return to at the end of a long day. Everybody needs comfort. *Historia didn’t know how much support, relief, and happiness, a comfort person would bring, until she fell in love with you.* When she’s exhausted, she leans into your warmth like two birds ruffling feathers, and charges up on your summer glow. And when Historia sees your eyes sparkling, talking about whatever cool thing you noticed in the day, she feels *unbelievably warm* inside, just pure happiness. You also care for Historia, as she cares for you— tucking her in bed and humming as you hold her (as the big spoon), after a mission that went terribly.

Please LIKE this if you enjoyed it!! (I spent a lot of time on this — no, really it do be taking hours)— your likes are encouragement to keep doing this :)

Feel free to comment your feedback/thoughts (gimme ur comments, i wanna hear), and comment to be tagged in part 2, 3, etc!

AND I’m adding in non-requested characters too, as a present for everybody! …Onwards: Pt. 2: Reiner, Levi, Armin (will be done and tumblr-published within probably 24 hours)

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firefly--bright · 1 year

Note

Hii, can I ask for a painting date with Jeanbo X reader on his birthday please??

Lover.

jean kirstein x gender neutral!reader

summary : two artists being each other's muses.

warnings : maybe writing inconsistencies (?) not proofread.

a/n: thank you so much for this request!!! i loved writing it <3 soft jean supremacy i love this man (he's lines on a screen). ofcourse i made a playlist for this. this is nothing but pure pure fluff and alot of smiley jean :)

tagging : @mrsnobodynobody , @holding-ishu-and-a-book

✿ enter my taglist! ✿ masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ fic playlist ✿

art creds : @/koidezuu on twt!

✿

you exhaled nervously, checking the front camera of your phone to make sure that you looked just as you wanted to, putting all of your faith in your other hand to clutch both the bouquet of flowers, and the actual gift you had made for jean - a bracelet strung with a charm he had eyed at a thrift store, and some pretty beads.

seeing that everything was set, you knocked on his front door and waited for him to answer.

April 7th, your beloved's birthday. you only hoped that your birthday gift to him made him feel just as special as he made you feel everyday. he deserved to be pampered too, especially on this day.

you had called him as midnight struck last night, pouring all your love into the biggest snd brightest "happy birthday, jean!" you could muster, which turned out to be loud enough to wake up your roomate. it was worth it, though, because his laugh lit up the entire screen despite it's pre-set brightness. the two of you talked till about 2 a.m., and you informed him to be ready the next day for a special date.

you had everything prepared : booking an art studio - which you had saved plenty for - a month in advance, making sure everything was all set up; the canvases, the paints, aprons, and charcoals (jean's favourite medium to work with.) you decorated it aptly with the help of sasha, who stole some of the cupcakes you had also made for jean as compensation. after this elaborate date, you'd drive him home, where he'd be greeted with the rest of his friends for a surprise birthday party, which you had also planned.

he deserved this. he deserved so much more than this, but for now, this would have to do. jean kirstein, resident asshole up until a couple years ago, somehow softened over time, and somehow also fell in love with you as you did with him not long before.

you hoped everything would go according to plan. jean took his lovesickness in pride, never missing out on an opportunity to spoil you, and you wanted to return the favour tenfold.

you knocked on the door, adjusting the objects in your hands, shaking your head to rid all the anxious thoughts.

a terrible effort, because jean rid them for you as soon as he opened the door.

your heart could burst out of your chest, and you could barely control the expression on your face as you broke into a wide smile.

he was dressed in his best colour; sage green. the hoodie fell just above his belly button, and it was clear that he cropped it himself. impulsively, as he did most things, but it somehow came out not as bad as you'd think. the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and there was a small embroidered star on the right side of his chest. he wore a hat that you had given him, yet another impulsive buy. the matching hat of the two currently hung behind your door. his fingers were adorned with metal bands, some plain and some with a pop of blue in them that matched the colour of his jeans.

the best part was his smile.

he wore the same smile he always did when he saw you, except today, his eyes had an extra glint.

"hi, love." he said.

"hi." you say, clearing your throat, "happy birthday, jean."

the statement came out as more of a whisper than an exclamation, and maybe that made it better because it was only something he was supposed to hear.

you presented him the bouquet of orchids you had bought. his smile widened, if that was even possible.

"i bought these for you."

he chuckled. "why are you nervous, babe?" he said, taking the flowers from your hands. you rolled your eyes as he did, as if the answer was obvious.

"i wanted to impress you, dumbass."

there was a beat of silence.

"m-me?" jean says, surprised. you nod.

"i mean, it is your birthday, so."

another beat passes. you look into his eyes, catching a glimpse of his reddening cheeks.

almost six months of dating and you couldn't believe you still had that effect on him. you breath out a smile and pull him closer by the front of his shirt.

placing your lips on his cheek, you trail kisses till the path of his lips, meeting there and waiting, patiently, for him to push forward and give you a kiss himself.

jean delivers. when he kisses you, you can feel the smile against your lips and smell his fragrance he wore especially for this occasion. his hair brushes against your forehead, and his trimmed stubble tickles your chin. you smile too, and now it's barely even a kiss; more just two pairs of smiling lips closely aligned, but you still pull away just as breathless.

the blush on Jean's cheek had nothing but deepend and you swallow a laugh at that. he always complained about how easily he could blush, but it was always something you liked about him.

"what's that?" he asks, eyes pointing to the box in your hands.

"patience, babe. all in good time." you say, "come on, i have a whole day planned for you."

jean smiled, brushing his hand through his hair. "can't wait."

the car ride there was mostly filled with you and jean screaming Jean's favourite songs out till your heart's content. his favourite songs had quickly became your favourite too, and vice versa. jean couldn't sing if your weren't singing with him, so you happily accompanied him in the act. after half of the playlist had finished, you reached your destination.

it was an art studio that you had found out on the internet, and people in the comments were raving about the space and view that struck them with inspiration. and sure enough, it was beautiful.

located in a large garage-looking loft on one of the far secluded corners of the beach, the letters "Raven's Studios" were plastered on the big doors in a bold red font. jean took in the place with surprise written all over his features, not knowing that out of all places, this would be the one you were driving to.

the inside was spacious, the windows streched over the expanse of the wall, overlooking the blue waters with boats cruising on it. there were two canvases placed near the windows, both facing each other. all the other materials were placed carefully (and double checked) on a wooden table that had old paint splattered on it's surface, on the far left, along with the remainder chocolate cupcakes and an empty vase waiting to be filled up with the orchids you bought for jean.

you gauged Jean's reaction, who stood near the doorway. his mouth was slightly hung open, eyes scanning over each carefully thought out detail. his left hand still gripped the bouquet, his right holding his phone and his hat.

you bit the inside of your lip in anticipation as he walked further inside.

jean let out a low whistle. "holy shit." was all he could muster up, and the tone his voice helped you relax a little.

"do you like it? i didn't know which medium you wanted to draw with, but you told me about how you really wantsd to have an art date, and i figured why not, you know?" your nervous voice bounced around the four walls. jean stood near the large windows now, hands on his hips. you continued, filling in the space with your rambling, "and some cupcakes, i got the recipie from your mom....she had to take it from the bakery you told me about, the one that sold those cheescakes you really liked near your old house.... but sasha ate some of them, of course-"

"it's perfect." jean said. he had turned towards you now, walking to where you were standing, still lingering near the doorway.

you didn't notice when he had placed all his belongings on the space on the table, and his hands now cupped your cheeks gently, his thumb rubbing ticklish circles on your cheekbones.

his smile was radiant, the corners of his eyes crinkling. there was a sparkle in them, his smile showing his teeth, his exhale blowing a puff of air over your face.

"thank you," he said, kissing your cheek, then the tip of your nose - which immediately scrunched up under his lips - and then finally a fleeting kiss on your smiling lips.

"don't thank me. it's my pleasure, birthday boy."

his face scrunched with that comment. "please dont call me that. it makes me feel like I'm...ten years old or something."

you tilt your head, his hands still on your face, with a teasing smirk. "jean-boy, then?"

he rolled his eyes. "you just love ruining the moment, don't you?"

"you love me." you said.

his expression softened. "that I do."

the playlist you made specially for this occasion flowed through the room beautifully, and the brilliantly blue sky gave off a blue hue to the inside of the white room. the wind ruffled Jean's hair, and the waves crashing into the shore made it all the more beautiful to look at him.

he had opted for the charcoals, as you had guessed, grabbing one of the papers and making himself comfortable on the ground near the window. you sat behind him, choosing a canvas and some acrylic paints in all the different blues you could get your hands on, along with some colours to paint jean.

your view - the one you had decided to paint - included the bright blue skies, littered with clouds, the calm sea, the rim of half of the window, and Jean's side profile. mapping your painting on your canvas, you tried not to notice Jean's skittish glances towards your face.

jean definitely had your face memorized by now. if someone asked him to, he'd be able to give them a vivid description of you without even having to close his eyes. he could probably name all of the parts of your body that he loved, and he'd seen the back of your hand more than he had seen his own by now. thank god you hadn't seen the sketchbook he kept hidden from you, which was filled with drawings of you doing absolutely nothing but breathing.

yes, jean definitely had your face memorized by now. but he was looking at you because he knew you were painting him, because there was so much care and comfort held in your eyes as you got the silohette of his side profile just right, because you saw him as your muse. as if today hadn't been special enough, he swore all his dreams came true the moment your hands began to sketch the scenery out.

Jean's mind couldn't focus on the art he was supposed to be making, not like this. which was ironic, because given the conditions, it shoudlve been more than enough for him to find inspiration in this beauty. but he couldn't help it; his muse was sitting there, blinking and breathing and creating, painting him. he couldn't help but do what his muscles grew familiar to now - draw you.

jean tried not to move as he sketched out your face, then your body, and your hands that were moving over your own canvas.

" can I go, where you go?

can we always be this close? "

jean heard you hum to the song that everyone came to associate with the two of you. all of his friends, who were your friends too, thought that this song was the most fitting for you, and jean couldn't agree more. jean wanted to stick by your side, do all the mundane things that life brought to him every day of the year, and do all the special things too, like the one he was currently doing. jean smiled, joining your hums, and he knew you had the same smile etched in your face as the one he was recreating on his rough paper.

his hands stained with charcoal, he drew flowers all around you, messily adding petals in a way that he knew would still make sense.

he snuck another glance at your form. you were so pretty it made his heart physically hurt.

his birthday was something he slightly dreaded throughout the year. when he was younger, he didn't have many people except his mother to celebrate the day with. it stayed that way, the same traditions up until highschool, where he met marco, when he began to look forward to his birthday a little. then came sasha and Connie, and soon the rest of his friends made the day as special as they could. every year would be somewhat the same, but it was comfortable, and jean didn't feel consumed by the lingering lonliness that he usually felt as a kid. he desperately wished to be someone special to another someone special as he blew out his birthday candles every year.

and then he met you, and all that he had been wishing for made sense. he became someone special to someone remarkable; to you. the thought enough made him want to climb onto the tallest roof of the world and scream out your names together, so that the clouds could hear him and make sure their rains would bring nothing but pleasant memories of your first kiss together.

jean bit back a giddy smile. being with you, spending the day, this day, together with you made him feel like he was standing on top of the same clouds now.

he glanced at the table, mind whirring as to what he could make next. there was no question in his mind that all he was able to draw was you, but he wanted to experiment with different colours and mediums.

getting up, he brushed his hands on the apron that you had left out for him, making his way over to the table. he heard your soft dissapointed sigh at his sudden movement, and he tried not to smirk, failing miserably.

"you should take a picture, love, it'll last longer." he says, back to you.

he could almost feel the glare you shot his back, but didn't have a response to follow. jean picked up the box of pastel colours from the table, turning his head towards where you sat, and suddenly the lack of a response from you made sense.

you had picked up your phone, thumb clicking Jean's numerous pictures. even though your phone was somewhat covering your face, jean could still see you smiling from behind the screen, biting your bottom lip to contain it with futile efforts.

jean smiled softly, "what happened to not wanting to 'boost my ego' ?" he asked, recalling the time you refused to admit how good he looked on your last date.

he heard you snicker, your phone still held up to sheild your face, still clicking pictures. jean was pretty sure your phone would run out of space to store those pictures soon, but you didn't seem to care, making jean smile even wider.

"i mean, if you want me to stop-" you started, but jean cut you off with a "i never said that."

he striked a pose, smouldering comically, running a hand through his hair.

you laughed, Jean's stomach swirling at the sound. he'd strike a hundred poses if it kept you laughing.

"you're such a goof, kirstein."

"dont let the others look at this, they'll never shut up about it."

"well...." you said, stretching the word out teasingly, putting your phone down now. "i make no promises." you say, shrugging.

"i knew it. you like betraying me, don't you?" jean walks over to you, box of pastels in hand.

"was that not obvious enough?"

he crouches, left knee hitting the ground, the heel of his other foot planted solidly. his elbow rested on his kneecap, the sleeves of his cropped hoodie still rolled up.

"nope," he says with a smile.

"sorry, I promise I'll do better next time." you match his smile.

he hums lowly, refusing to take his eyes off of yours. shivers run down your spine, and the change in music barely registers in your mind.

the teasing smirk returns to your face.

"are you gonna kiss me or just keep looking at me like that?"

but jean remains motionless, glancing down at your painting instead. his eyes glint with the sun from the window, which was now tilting slowly towards the horizon, threatening to dip into the sea. it remained bright, though, and you couldn't help but think that it's shine was just for the two of you. Jean's side glowed softly with the light, his hair almost shining.

"say please," he says, and it reminds you of all the times he had joked about kissing you before you were together.

you rolled your eyes again, but your smile refused to move. "please kiss me, jean, you're the only thing that's keeping me afloat in this abyss of darkn-"

he kissed you mid-sentence, and he tasted like the chocolate cupcakes you had made.

his hands rested on the base of your neck, the warmth of which made your heart race. his hands still had smudged charcoal on them, but you didn't care. you'd let him taint you with the most hideous colour he could mix together, and you'd still wear it proudly.

pulling away, he rested his forehead against your own. you grew to realise that he liked that; he liked your noses almost brushing, lips only inches away from each other. his eyes reminded close but his eyelashes fluttered, tickling your cheek.

"thank you," he whispered.

you shook your head slightly, opening your mouth to answer him, but he silenced you once again with his own sentence. "i know you don't want me to thank you, but thank you. not just for today but for...everything, honestly." he pulled away a bit, eyes opening to look into yours with so much intensity and warmth, your simmering love could've boiled over.

"i love you," you said, hand reaching out to rest on his jaw.

painting long forgotten, jean smiled again. "i love you too."

✿

#jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein x you #jean kirschstein x reader #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #jean kirschtien #jean kirstein fanfiction

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plutoccult · 7 months

Text

LET THE LIGHT IN

pairing: jean kirstein x female reader

description: the aftermath of the moment you and jean shared the night before had proven to be more awkward than you wanted it to be, but now you were determined to say how you feel this time around. if only jean would stop avoiding you like the plague, then it would be a whole lot easier for you.

word count: 3.6k

read part one here

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: i genuinely didn’t expect to get any notes when i posted three little words, and i honestly never thought of writing a continuation of it, so thank you to @spicytvna for suggesting it! you really got my brain cooking, and i’m very grateful! thank you for everyone you liked and reblogged it as well! it’s very much appreciated! i honestly struggled with the title as i didn’t want to use the same title just with “part two” on it, and since music is what flows my creativity, i decided to go with a song that i felt represented jean and the reader. shoutout to lana del rey for having a chokehold on me since middle school. you really are that bitch fr. sorry this took quite a bit to get to you guys, but i really wanted to make sure i was giving you all something great. enjoy!!!

neither you or jean could sleep after what happened that night. you were too in your head to finish writing to your father while jean was too embarrassed to say a word to connie about what happened. you were in the same boat the next morning when sasha tried asking if something happened between you two, but your erratic behavior scared her off, so she ran back to connie with no intel to report.

you couldn’t help but mentally beat yourself up over and over about the whole thing. why did you have to freeze up? why couldn’t you just… say how you feel? you knew you loved him, and you finally knew he loved you, but why couldn’t you help but be scared? you were always the kind of person who never wanted to say how you feel first, but when the chance came to where you could say it without rejection, you chicken out.

it replayed in your head on a loop. you got all worked up just by the very thought then would always curse yourself afterwards. you had to do something about it. you had to talk to jean. he had to know you felt the same way as he felt for you. there isn’t anything to be scared of anymore, or so you thought.

every time you saw jean, he always just so happened to be going in the opposite direction as you. whenever you tried to call out for him, he acted like he couldn’t hear you. it was easy to figure out he was ignoring you, and he was doing—in your opinion—quite an awful job at it.

it seemed as if he was just going to easily write off what happened and never speak to you again, but why? you wanted to ask why he can’t give you a chance to speak, but you had your chance the night he spilled his guts. you just weren’t able to spill yours. still, you were on a mission to talk to him someway, somehow. you would do whatever it takes.

as the days passed, you figured you had to find jean in a place where he couldn’t run. you hoped you could get some help from connie as sasha told you how connie (allegedly) said that he would love to finally make the pairing of you and jean happen and work something out. so, you prayed that sasha wasn’t lying to you and found the courage to knock on the door of jean and connie’s room, assuming jean would be somewhere else, continuing to avoid you.

like you expected, connie opened the door. he knew you would come to him, but he wasn’t expecting it not long after sasha relayed his message hardly an hour ago. “y/n!”

“hi. i hope i’m not intruding or anything.” you say politely. you’re almost tempted to peer your head to see if jean is hiding in the room somewhere, but you don’t want to ruin this.

“nah, i was just bumming.” connie assured you, which brought you some relief. “you’re here for jean, aren’t you?”

“isn’t it obvious?” you force a laugh. it was hard to act like you were okay with what happened when you nowhere near weren’t. you were sure jean probably brought your name to shame when he returned to his room that night, but things weren’t always what they seemed.

“um, hello? sash and i been waiting for one of you to stop being a wuss and confess for ages. we essentially knew jean would be the one to do it first, we just didn’t think… uh…” he struggled with his words towards the end. you know exactly what connie was going to say, so you said the words for him and let him off easy.

“that i wouldn’t be able to say it back?”

“yup, basically. but that’s okay, y/n. feelings are scary, i get that.” connie said. “that’s why i’m here to help you properly declare your feelings for jean, and i have the best way to do it.”

“you do?” you raised an eyebrow, feeling unsure about what his idea of the “best” is.

“yeah, i’m feeling like picking a bunch of flowers, maybe an impromptu musical number in front of everyone—” connie began to list what you thought were a bunch of terrible, terrible ideas. this is not what you expected when sasha said connie would help you. it was horrendous, and you had to put a stop to it.

“um, connie, i’m not sure that’s a good idea—” your words were interrupted by a familiar voice, one you could recognize without hesitation. you turn around quickly, it’s exactly who you hoped and prayed to see for days now. finally. “jean!”

jean froze in his tracks as you and connie fall silent and share a look. he’s at a loss for words, unsure how to get himself out of this situation, except for one idea; run.

you didn’t even have a second to think as connie did what you would’ve done for you aka run after him. you couldn’t even believe what was happening right now. all you wanted was a way to fix things with jean, and while he finally entered your presence once more, he bolted as quickly as he arrived. at least the sight of connie apprehending jean and snatching his room key was somewhat entertaining to watch.

“you’re coming with me, buddy!” connie yelled as he had his hold on jean, practically threatening to yank out his arm socket as he dragged him across the floor.

“no!” jean whined, fighting for his life. it was such a childish thing, you thought, hearing him act like this. they argued back and forth like bickering siblings until connie finally got jean back to their room door, and all you could do was stand and watch.

“why not?!”

“b-because!”

“that’s not a reason!”

“because i don’t want to!”

your eyes met connie’s as he threw jean into their room. he was one to be chaotic, but this seemed like a whole new level for you. “hey, y/n, remember that idea i had? well, i have an even better one.”

“what is it?” you ask nervously before connie pushed you into the room with jean, tripping backwards over jean’s leg and falling straight to your ass quicker than you could blink.

“neither of you are leaving until you talk your feelings out. later!” connie said then slammed the door in both of your faces, leaving the two of you speechless.

you quickly get to your feet and reach for the doorknob, realizing it won’t budge on bit. connie locked the door and was the only one with the key. that sneaky son of a bitch locked you two in a room without any escape. well, unless you wanted to jump out a window.

“oh… my… god…” you say to yourself, hoping for jean to say something to you, maybe propose a way on how to get out of here, but he didn’t say a word, he didn’t even dare to look you in the eye, and you couldn’t stand it.

“aren’t you going to say something?” your question comes out desperate. “this is torture, jean!”

“ha, you’re one to talk!” jean scoffed, taking you by surprise. you couldn’t help but wonder what changed his mind so drastically between a few nights ago and now. you know what you didn’t wasn’t the best, but you were trying to make it right, and he wasn’t giving you a chance whatsoever. it was, like you said, torture. perhaps the greatest torture of all, in fact.

“really? this is how you’re going to act?” you ask in disbelief.

“yes, y/n, it is because i’m so embarrassed that even just being in the same room as you makes me wanna rip my heart out.” he said harshly.

you’re left speechless by his words. you wanted to say he didn’t mean it, but you know he did. you embarrassed him. you toyed with his poor heart without meaning to. yes, you did love him, but it almost felt like you were being crucified just for being scared to say it out loud, and you refused to be crucified any longer. whether jean still had feelings for you or not, you couldn’t stand to live like this.

as you failed to respond, you snapped back to reality as you realize jean is trying to force the bedroom window open. you noticed the window earlier, but you seriously didn’t think he would jump to such extreme measures as you didn’t consider it for yourself. from this level, it wouldn’t be easy climbing out either.

“what the hell are you doing?” you question him.

“getting out of here.” jean replied coldly as he focused on opening the window, which he did successfully after a bit of brute force. you really couldn’t believe this.

“you’re gonna climb out a fucking window just to get away from me?” you ask with sadness in your voice. “where’s the jean kirstein that i loved so much?”

jean froze. loved? you knew what you meant when you said it, but jean’s mind raced a mile a minute as he tried figuring out what way you meant those words. it was something he never thought he’d hear, but it only made him wish he wasn’t an impatient little asshole who gave you no chance to say what you wanted to when you were ready for it.

he slowly turned around to meet your gaze, noticing your eyes beginning to well with tears. god, he felt so awful now. “what?”

“you wanna get out of here? i’ll get you out of here. i’m in love with you. i love you. i was too afraid to say it that night, but i’m not afraid to say it now.” you say without faltering, even if this was nowhere near how you wanted this to go. “clearly i messed it all up and you would rather die than breathe in my direction, so there. we said how we felt, now you can get what you want.”

getting out here wasn’t what he wanted. it was those goddamn three little words he craved more than he ever wished for freedom and luxury. that was what he wanted. he knew it all came out so angrily from your lips, but that part didn’t matter to him right now. you loved him. you loved jean kirstein. that alone could mend any bone that dared to break or wash away any bad thought in his brain. you weren’t the one that messed this up, it was him. it was time jean tried to make it right, but he was too late. timing had a thing for never being on either of your sides.

before jean could speak and make this all better, you knock on the door for connie’s attention. “connie? you can let us out now. all feelings have been made very, very clear.”

connie, who could hear everything from the other side of the door, did as you wished and set you free. you look at jean one last time before walking out, the look of teardrops streaming down your face bound to haunt him. he immediately stood up and went after you, grabbing you by the shoulder to stop you. you turn around and face him, wiping away your tears in an attempt to appear strong.

“y/n, i’m sorry.” jean said quickly. there was so much more he could say, but that seemed like the best start, if you gave him the chance to speak, although he knew he didn’t deserve it.

“no, it’s okay.” you insist. “we’re even now, i suppose.”

jean didn’t want to get “even”, but he felt like he had no choice but to watch you walk away. you didn’t mean to hurt each other like this, but you both made it seem so easy. even if the execution came out so simple, the effects were like needles prodding your hearts. you had to find a way to heal your broken hearts somehow.

when you walked back to your room, you found sasha on her way out, assuming she was going to sneak herself some a secret snack before dinnertime. she was shocked to find you coming back like this, and without either of you needing to say a word, she wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly. you melted into her embrace, letting out all the cries you held back from before.

“come on, you should lay down.” sasha said softly. “all that crying is gonna tire you out.”

“okay.” you sniffle. “thank you.”

•••

sasha always knew you so well. it was the best part of being roommates. you fell asleep not long after going into your shared room, and she left you be as she assumed you really needed it. come dinnertime, sasha gently nudged you awake as food was always important in her eyes.

“y/n, hey.” she whispered. “it’s time for dinner. you coming?”

you groan as you open and rub your eyes. dinnertime? you’d rather have loneliness as an appetizer and shame as the main course. you couldn’t face jean so soon. besides, you knew jean always sat with connie and sasha, so where would that leave you? you were better off alone right now. “no, i’d rather not.”

“are you sure? i think some food could heal those wounds.” sasha said, trying her best to convince you to come to the mess hall. you could sense some ulterior motives, one involving a certain horse-faced soldier, so you brushed her off and insisted on not tagging along.

“i just want some time alone, sasha.” you say, pulling your blanket closer to you.

sasha decided to let you off the hook, not wanting to press you too much, but she couldn’t help but worry about you a little. “okay. maybe get some fresh air, alright? for my sake?”

“yeah, okay, i will.” you agree, thinking you won’t really do so, but the thought makes you think it could be a good idea after all.

“good. now… food awaits me.” sasha said before swiftly existing the room, assuming she would run to dinner like her life depended on it. like any other day, her life quite literally did depend on it. for you, however, some alone time was what you needed, but maybe some fresh air will do you some good.

forcing yourself out of bed, you leave the room so you could head to your usual spot, one you’ve shared with friends before in the past, but for tonight, it was meant to be all yours. you always enjoyed sitting on a set of steps on nights like these, with the stars twinkling and moon shining as if it were just for you. the night breeze made you feel safe, like a sign that everything would be okay with time, but when?

unbeknownst to you, when sasha entered the mess hall, jean had expected you to walk in with her. he and connie asked where you were, and sasha—almost acting like your own personal cupid—informed the two about your whereabouts. jean knew this was his opportunity to turn this all around, or at the very least make it known how terrible he felt about the way he acted. but he couldn’t just do it with words, he had to show it too, and jean knew exactly where you could be right now.

funnily enough, the second you were getting ready to go back to your room and lay down for the rest of the night, you found jean standing many feet behind you with a tray of food in one hand and some flowers in the other. you froze in your tracks, shocked to see him here, but also unsure what was going to happen.

“i know sasha said you wanted to be alone, but i, um… thought you’d still be hungry.” he said shyly, a stark contrast compared to earlier.

“and the flowers?” you asked.

“i picked them myself. they’re, uh, apology flowers.” jean replied, handing the flowers to you, which you hesitantly accepted. they were your favorite, of course he knew which ones to pick out. “can i sit? please?”

“um, yeah, sure. i’ll take that food off your hands too.” you say. it was impossible to say no to food, but if jean was going to improve his past behavior, then it’s best you take this chance and hear him out.

you sit back down at the steps and jean followed. he handed you the tray of food, consisting of a potato and some bread, which was all he managed to sneak out successfully. you set the tray down next to you and picked apart at the bread, using it as an excuse to not speak just yet. you’d let him do the talking first.

“i really am sorry, y/n.” he started off with. “i was such an asshole to you. i should’ve been more patient and understanding.”

you quit eating your food and looked at him with a puzzled look on your face. “what? no, i should’ve been honest with you about how i felt. i hurt your feelings, jean.”

“and i hurt yours. like you said earlier, we’re even, right?” jean questioned with a shrug.

“i didn’t want to get even.” you frowned. “i would’ve done it all differently. i wouldn’t have made such a confession so angrily like that.”

and why shouldn’t you? shouldn’t you be able to do what you had planned before it all turned disastrous? jean was more than willing to let you. earlier wasn’t enough. he wanted to hear more on your feelings. yelling in his face how you’re in love with him like it pissed you off wasn’t what he initially wanted. he wanted to hear you say it with that soft voice only so few people hear. just for him and him alone.

“why not have a redo?” he proposed, which you thought was downright crazy. “say how you feel, y/n. in the way you wanted to say it.”

your cheeks were burning red. it seemed like such a good idea in your head until jean actually encouraged it. you were so complicated like that; preferring the thought rather than the actual thing. you had to get better with that, but you didn’t seem ready for that just yet. “wow, this bread really hits different today—”

“y/n.” jean cut you off.

“hey, what happened to being more patient and understanding?” you pouted.

“and what happened to being honest about how you feel?” he was right. why did he have to be right? you hated that so much, but you knew you shouldn’t.

“it’s just…” you sigh. “it feels safer staying a thought in my head rather than spoken out loud.”

even saying that out loud made you uncomfortable. you tried to shy away from jean, but he wouldn’t let you. you couldn’t let yourself shy away either.

“it’s okay, it’s just me. you know how i feel.” he tried to assure you, but you couldn’t help but feel a little unsure. it was that small part in the back of your head that wondered what if his feelings had changed within a matter of days. it was silly, but your mind loved to mess with you in such heinous ways.

“do i?”

“i love you, y/n. that hasn’t changed.” that was exactly what you needed to hear. you couldn’t be afraid of the rejection when he laid his heart out on the line for you once more. it was time you took this head first without fear. no hesitating, no freezing up, no stumbling with your words, none of it. you’re doing this.

“jean, i love you so much it scares the shit out of me.” you say with tears in your eyes. “you’re my best friend, ya know? i can’t lose you. i don’t want either of us to run away. it would kill me.”

jean began to feel himself starting to cry too. this was all he wanted in the greatest way possible, just you saying you loved him with true, genuine meaning. it was what he wished for in the first place, but it was well worth the wait. “i won’t run away. not from this, not from you.”

“i won’t either.” you reply.

“good.” he smiled softly. a gentle stroke of your hair by jean made you want to fold over instantly. he used his thumb to wipe away your tears, which made your heart want to melt.

“is this the part where you kiss me now?” you ask breathlessly.

“do you want me to?” jean asked, waiting for you to say yes.

“yes.” you hurriedly nod.

“that’s all you had to say.” he said before gently placing a kiss on your lips. you liked that he treated you so carefully, like a porcelain doll. you wrap your arms around him as the kiss made your head feel hazy. you both felt comfortable with the feeling.

when you parted away, jean found himself lost in your glowing eyes. your smile made his heart skip a beat and he couldn’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. he’d be far more than willing to burn if it meant always staying close to you.

“so, how’s that bread—” he said to break the silence. a bad way to do it, you thought as you immediately laughed and shyly buried your head in his shoulder. he pulled himself away and lifted your chin so you’d face him, kissing you once more.

you and jean spent the rest of that night side by side, at some point finding yourselves laid out on the grass as you watched the stars, hoping to find constellations from the ground. you held each other close without wanting to let go, and neither of you intended to. now that those three little words were said, you wouldn’t dare shy away from the light.

#FINALLY SHE EXISTS #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #aot x female reader #aot x reader #jean kirstein x female reader #snk x reader #snk x female reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #jean kirstein fanfiction #aot jean #snk jean #pluto writes 📝

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oh-meretseger · 16 days

Text

part 6 - Revenge

attack on titan modern college au // Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

summary: you attempt to get your revenge on Jean, but teasing him only goes so far and you eventually succumb to temptation🤓 (like we all would, it’s okay)

notes: 18+! smut, explicit language, handjob, fingering, oral (both receiving), spitting and getting messy and just generally being disgusting

word count: 6,4k

"Where's the rush, smarty-pants?"

His voice came out of nowhere in the dark room, and as you sprang around, petrified, you saw his silhouette sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Jesus fucking Christ" you yelled out after the first few moments of shock, trying to calm the dangerously fast racing of your heart when you realized who it was. "Jean, are you out of your fucking mind?! You can't just creep up on me like this, I almost had a heart attack!"

The room was dark, only the dim light of the moon shining through the windows - you couldn't see his face, you could only hear Jean chuckle quietly, then stand up with a creak of the bed as his dark silhouette walked closer to you.

"I'm sorry, I would've knocked on the bathroom door if I knew you didn't like jumpscares" he replied, audibly smirking, and the nervous beating of your heart instantly became accompanied by warmth spreading in your core as you felt the heat of his body, standing close to yours, but not touching yet.

"I—I would've kicked the door down on you, poltergeist doesn't make me less terrified" you replied and smiled at the sound of Jean letting out another laugh.

"Poltergeist... You're silly"

You felt Jean's large hands find their way under your jacket and slide on your waist, sending electric tingles to your center. His one touch, the warmth of his closeness and his heavenly scent was enough to make you feel ecstatic.

And to make you instantly wet.

"I'm sorry, baby" Jean mumbled as he pulled your body to press onto his, nuzzling against your ear as he leaned close to your face. A quiet moan escaped your mouth at the euphoric feeling, and Jean could've sworn he saw stars hearing your sweet sound. "You must be so mad at me by now, always disturbing the peace of your little heart..."

"Oh, my little heart knows you're just playing with it" you replied on autopilot, your mind already turned off at the feeling of Jean's scruff on your jaw, his hot breath on your neck as he pressed a small litle peck on the sensitive skin.

One of Jean's hands slid to your back, pulling you even closer to him. The room was dark, but his mind would've darkened in broad daylight anyway from the ecstasy he felt at that moment.

"Then tell your little heart I'd never hurt her" he whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. "I'll take care of her"

Your heart fluttered at his words, your arms moving on their own as you wreathed them around Jean's neck, and turned your head so your lips could finally meet his. You both felt like your souls were leaving this world as your soft lips lightly pressed into each other, then started moving as your kiss deepened. It quickly became a sloppy, lustful mess, tongues passionately dancing around each other, swollen lips making wet sounds that filled the bedroom.

Jean felt himself get hard at the filthy sounds you were making. He couldn't help his cock growing in his pants as he felt your sweet scent, the touch of your plump lips, your warm tongue and your fingers running through his hair. You desperately pressed your body more into his, letting out a small little whine against his lips, and it was over for him.

"You smell so fucking good" Jean mumbled as his lips wandered to your jawline, then your ear, drawing a slightly louder moan out of you as he started kissing it. He lost the control over his hands - you felt one slip down to your ass, fingers pressing into the flesh as the other one glided along your waist and up to your chest. "You feel so fucking good"

"Please—Please, touch me" you whimpered quietly as your hands moved to his, guiding them to grab your ass on both sides. Jean moaned at the heavenly feeling of your fingers pressing into his as you showed him how you like to be groped.

Shamelessly, that was for sure.

He already knew you weren't exactly the innocent girl you tried to seem - but as you guided his hands to grab and palm your ass, then up the sides of your waist, the plush of your perfect tits, he felt a new, overwhelming wave of arousal.

"Oh— Mmfmy fucking god" Jean caught his breath between sloppy kisses. His hazy mind couldn't even believe it was happening. He had you between his arms, and louder and more desperate moans escaped your throat as his hands groped you, stroking and gripping at every sensitive inch of your body, hungry for his touch.

"You can make it all up to me, y'know" you spoke softly, trying to stay sane while Jean was feeling you up with slow, but eager motions, moaning at how amazing your body felt against his fingers. He wasn't so successful at staying clear-headed.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his low, slightly whiny voice against your lips sent an unearthly shiver down your body. All you wanted was for him to use your body as you lost yourself in pleasure - but unfortunately, you already had a different plan in mind. "Let me make it all up to you, pretty girl"

"Sit on the bed then" you replied as a devilish smile formed on your face, and Jean's movements stopped, his dick throbbing in his pants at the sudden confidence in your tone. You pushed him away from you with a firm hand on his chest. "I said, sit"

The warmth radiating from his body disappeared as he stepped back, and your hands hurried to find the keyhole on the door, hastily turning the key to lock it. The room filled with a faint, warm light as Jean clicked the bedside lamp on, and you turned around to finally face him. You instantly felt yourself blush as you gazed at his large frame standing by the bed, his face serious but flushed with pent-up passion. You felt flustered as you thought of what you were about to do with a man so incredibly hot and otherworldly.

"Sit"

Jean felt his already hard cock twitch at hearing your demand and obediently sank down on the bed, not for a moment taking his eyes off of your beautiful flushed cheeks and eagerly glistening eyes. You walked closer to him as you let your denim jacket fall off your shoulders, throwing it on the end of the bed.

You stopped right in front of him, one of his thighs between your legs, and Jean's hand automatically slid to the slit of your dress. You slapped his hand away, and he looked up at you with a confusion so adorable, you wanted to immediately kneel down and take him into your mouth.

"No touching" you murmured looking into his beautiful hazel eyes, your heart pounding with excitement as you raised your hand, your fingers gently running through his hair. Jean's eyes closed at the sensation, melting into your touch. You looked at his eyelashes as they sank, the blush on the bridge of his nose, then at his pretty lips parting as your fingers tightened, lightly tugging on his hair. He moaned. You felt your wetness soaking your panties as you realized you finally had the control. "Move a little bit"

To the push of your hand, Jean shimmied further back on the bed, sinking to lean on his elbows. He watched you kick off your shoes and swiftly pull up your little dress. The warm light of the lamp grazed the soft skin of your neck, collarbones and shoulders, and one spaghetti strap of your dress fell off your shoulder - the sight so innocently arousing, Jean felt like his balls full of cum were about to explode.

"How come you're such a good boy all of a sudden?" you smiled and your confidence grew even more as Jean's greedy eyes devoured your body while you slowly crawled up on the bed, seating yourself on his thighs, just above his knees.

Jean wanted to grab your hips and slam it onto his until you came all over his cock, but with the last crumbs of composure he had, he obeyed to your will instead. He felt himself getting more and more aroused at every little action of yours - and he didn't realize just yet, but you taking the lead made him incredibly turned on.

"I'd do anything for you to forgive my awful sins" Jean's lips slightly curved into a smug smile, looking into your eyes darkened with lust. He shifted his body so he could move one of his hands to make contact with the smooth skin of your exposed thigh, but you pushed his hand once again.

"Then don't touch me, and do what I say" you replied with a voice so soft and alluring, it made Jean gulp hard, and obey once again. He faintly bucked his hips upwards as the tight grip of his trousers became torturous.

You almost moaned out loud just by seeing his desperate movements, but you forced yourself to keep your calm. You wanted to pleasure him in the most lingering, cruelly satisfying way.

"Holy—Fuck" Jean groaned quietly as your hands gently slid up his deliciously thick thighs to the croth of his pants, painfully avoiding his most sensitive area.

"You look so good" you hummed, enjoying the color of his flushed cheeks at your praise. "You like when I touch you, right?"

"Yeah" Jean breathed out as he watched your dainty little hands run around the aching, obvious bulge in his trousers. You eyed his clothed erection, already salivating at how heavy and hard his cock seemed. "Those pretty little fingers feel so good"

"I know" you watched with a sinful smile as your hands slowly and smoothly moved up Jean's waist and around his chest as it heaved. His eyes closed as your fingers delicately ran up his neck, then down to his collarbones. You leaned forward and groped his broad shoulders, getting even more wet at feeling the flesh of his muscles. Jean's eyes opened as your scent hit his nose, and moaned at the sight of your breasts bulging, almost spilling out of the fabric of your little dress. "Let me help you get rid of this"

You started unbuttoning his shirt, taking your sweet time while Jean felt like crying out of desperation. He wanted to stay patient, but he couldn't help squirming under you. "You're getting needy, aren't you?"

"Yeah" he muttered, his breathing ragged as you slowly peeled the shirt off his torso. Your mind became fuzzy at the sight, your hands greedily gliding up his toned waist, stopping at the muscles of his chest. Your nails slightly digged into his skin and you leaned forward.

"What do you need, baby?" you asked, an airy whisper in his ear as your hand moved to his neck, only attempting to wrap around. Jean bucked his hips up again as the feeling of your hand's grip on his throat made him throb.

"I need to feel you" he spoke softly, a moan falling from his lips when your warm mouth kissed down on his neck, your lips and tongue making filthy, wet little sounds as you found his sensitive spot. "Fuck—Y/n..."

"Tell me how you wanna feel me" you purred into the crook of his neck while your hand wandered down to his stomach, fingers gently caressing the sensitive skin just above his belt.

"Touch me, please" Jean replied in a low voice and you lifted your head to look into his eyes. You simply melted at the desperate look he gave you as your fingers moved to unbuckle his belt. "I'm so hard for you"

"Just for me?" you smiled and connected your lips in a soft kiss, immediately accepting Jean's greedy tongue into your mouth. He kissed so good, you felt your clit throb at every movement of his lips, just like he felt his cock getting leaky as your tongue moved in perfect sync with his.

"Just for you" Jean moaned into your mouth, and you let out a little whimper as both of your hands worked on his belt. You unzipped the trousers after unbuckling, then broke the kiss as you leaned back, sitting up to look at what your hands were doing. Jean watched your pretty fingers gently move along the aching boner in his boxers, trying to well up from the unbearable grip of his trousers. "Holy shit—"

Your hand slipped into the trousers, less gentle this time as you grabbed his hard-on with your whole hand, your mouth falling slightly open, eyes darting to his as you felt his size. Jean literally saw stars - his eyes hazy and low-lidded as he stared into yours. He saw a new wave of warmth flushing your cheeks as he felt the warmth of your palm met his bulge through the fabric.

"Keep touching me, pretty girl" he said and you shamelessly palmed his erection through his boxers, moaning as you felt up his balls, then the length of his cock. You were already certain it wouldn't fit inside you. Jean's head fell back as a shaky whine escaped his lips.

"You're so fucking hard"

"Please—"

"Help me" your demand was soft and quiet, but enough for Jean to immediately lift his hips as your fingers hooked into the hem of his boxers. With one swift motion, you pulled his trousers and his boxers down, freeing his cock as it sprang up against his happy trail. Jean watched your pretty face blush, big doe eyes slightly widen. You were simply unable to take your eyes off of it. He was huge - the biggest you've seen, anyway. His length was one thing, but the girth made you absolutely sure that it won't fit. "Oh my god"

Your hands moved impatiently as you wrapped both of them around his cock. Jean grunted at the sight, how small your hands looked in comparison, your squishy thighs hugging his, your pretty little fingers slowly moving up and down on his hard cock, your tits pushed together by your arms, alluring eyes piercing right into his.

"You're beautiful" he muttered and bit down on his lower lip hard as your thumb pressed up his sensitive slit, squeezing out a few drops of precum. Getting confident by his praise, you leaned closer as your mouth opened, letting a string of saliva spill onto his pink tip. Jean moaned louder this time, the sight of you drooling all over his dick, smearing it around with your hand almost sending him over the edge.

"You like when I get dirty for you?" your eyes darted back to his, smile so devilish he just had to buck himself up into your fists.

"Oh yeah I do, y—Such a nasty girl" he moaned and you had to bite back your own whimpers as he slowly fucked into your hands. You could have never even imagined something so incredibly hot. "So messy for me, I—I love it. Y'milking my cock so good"

Your breathing became ragged, your hands squeezing a little harder as Jean thrusted his cock into them, squelching with precum and saliva. You whispered, "I love it messy"

You looked at his tip leaking precum onto your knuckles with such hungry eyes, Jean felt like you were going to eat him up. But you moved your hand carefully and gathered the clear slick with a finger, then looked into Jean's eyes as you licked it off. He had to try his best not to cum right then and there. When did you become such a filthy little—?

"Give me your hand" you motioned for his hand, and grabbed it as he reached out, now only leaning on one forearm. He let you wrap his fingers around his own cock, pumping it a couple of times, squeezing at the end. You quietly moaned, him letting you jerk his cock like this being so dirty and arousing, you were sure you've already soaked through his trousers as you sat on his thigh.

You grabbed his fingers to gather his precum just like you did, then raised his hand to your lips. Jean let out a groan that turned into a desperate whine as you took his fingers into your mouth one by one, sucking them clean, your warm tongue swirling around them as you looked deep into his eyes.

"Does that feel good?" you purred between fingers, Jean moaning in pleasure as you sucked his thumb. So, so filthy...

"Feels so good, pretty girl" Jean's sweet sounds were making you lose control, not even wanting to tease him anymore. You just wanted to make him cum.

You moaned in agreement as you let go of his hand, both of your hands finding their way to his hard cock, starting to gently work the swollen, sensitive tip as you played with him.

"Hnngh— You're doing so good. Y'work that cock so good" Jean moaned his words, unable to take his eyes off of your pretty lips wrapping around his fingers. "Your mouth feels amazing, angel, you're making me—"

"What?" you hummed with a smile, his middle finger still in your mouth. "You're gonna be a good boy and cum on my hands?"

Jean hesitated for a moment as he blinked up at you, his cheeks burning with arousal. Your mind went absolutely blank and feral at seeing how flustered he got hearing that name.

"If you want me to"

"Oh, I want you to" you agreed, but your hands stopped, they were completely still. Though he was so turned on by you, Jean felt like one movement of your fingers would push him over the edge. "But I honestly just planned on leaving you here, hard on the bed, just to get back at you"

The tension between you broke when Jean cackled and you softened as your saw his pretty smile. You were too soft for him to get your little revenge.

"Oh yeah? You wanted revenge for yesterday?"

"I did" you grinned and you felt Jean throb in your hands. He liked your pretty smile, too. "You were super mean to me"

"Mean?!" Jean laughed again, sitting up to lean on his palms instead of his elbows. Your faces were inches from each other, and suddenly, you became bashful, tracing your finger along a vein on his hard cock. "We just made out, I wasn't that big of a tease”

"You were" you snapped back, returning your gaze to his hazel eyes, but they were so full of some strange emotion that you started to lose your confidence again. "You absolutely were because it felt... Really good to me"

"It felt really good to me, too" Jean gently touched his nose against yours and your eyes closed at how good it felt to have his lips so close to yours. "You don't know how hard it was to leave you there after touching your beautiful body and—And kissing your sweet lips"

His lips grazed over yours, drawing a whimper out of you. He whispered, "You're a great kisser, by the way"

"Am I?" you smirked, remembering how you just thought the same of him.

"You are" he shortly replied, recalling how quickly he came all over his stomach after leaving you there in the hallway and going back to his dorm to jerk off thinking of you.

"You are, too" you mumbled, pushing his shoulder to have him leaning on his forearms again. Your torso followed his as you brushed your lips on his ear. "You can't even imagine how wet my pussy gets just by making out with you"

"Mmpf holy— fuck" Jean's eyes rolled to the back of his head, his cock twitching at the thought of your sweet pussy dripping from wetness, just for him. He was on the verge of pushing you down into the mattress and slamming his cock into you until you came all over it - but he enjoyed you having the control a little too much. "Please let me feel it"

"Letting you have what you want wouldn't be much of a revenge, now would it?" he felt you smile against the sensitive skin of his neck. Your fingers delicately ran along his aching erection again and your hips started rolling against his clothed thigh, slowly and gently, but with enough pressure to make your clit throb with pleasure.

"Fucking— shit, please, please let me make you cum" Jean's voice became almost whiny as you moaned into his ear, humping your wet little pussy on his trousers. He felt like a dog in heat as he watched your dress roll up on your hips from your movements, the lace of your black thong peeking from underneath.

“Oh— Jerking your cock feels so good, I could cum just by riding your thigh” you whimpered and that was when something finally switched in Jean’s brain. He sat up and his hands firmly grabbed your tingling hips.

“Well, you won’t”

“Jean—“

Your arms hung on to Jean’s neck as he moved both of your bodies, his strong arms picking you up and laying you on the bed like it was nothing. Your brain immediately turned off as he manhandled you, rolling your body to your side as he layed down and positioned himself right behind you. You whined when you felt his hard-on press between your asscheeks and he mumbled in your ear, “I know what’s good for you, Y/n”

He listened to your quiet whimpers as his big hands roamed your body from behind and it drove him crazy. He paid attention to every little reaction, taking his time on movements that made goosebumps appear across your soft skin. He watched your beautiful eyes close in pleasure as his thumbs brushed against your hardened nipples through the fabric of your dress.

“Open your eyes, baby, look at me” he hummed and pulled your dress and bralette down with one swift motion as your eyes pleadingly pierced into his. Jean subconsciously rolled his hips against your ass as he groped your bare tits, pinching a nipple between his fingers.

“Jean, that—That feels so good”

He grunted into the crook of your neck, already on the edge, fighting the urge to hump you from behind until he cums. He wanted to make you feel amazing first. “That’s it, pretty girl. Tell me what feels good”

“Can you please touch me?” you looked at him with big eyes and Jean felt himself leak onto your dress as your hand grabbed his, guiding it down to your panties.

He carefully pulled on the hem of the tight dress, exposing your lacey underwear. His eyes darkened with lust at the sight of such a sexy piece between your innocently soft thighs. Jean brushed a finger across the fabric, making you shiver as his fingertips pressed into the spot where your wetness soaked through. He started gently rubbing your sensitive clit through your panties.

“Like this?” Jean mumbled, his breath hot against your ear. You nodded frantically as soft moans escaped your lips, the feeling so ethereal, you were unable to form any words.

“Let’s get this off of you, cutie” he cooed, and your hands hurried to help him as he hooked his fingers on your thong, pulling it down to your knees. You kicked it off of your legs, then let Jean’s hand open your thighs wide again. “Such a good girl for me”

Jean’s eyes glued to the sopping heaven between your spread legs, and drew a whine from you as his fingers digged into your hips, hard. He carefully glided a finger across your slit, his delicate touch making you squirm. “Fuck— You’re dripping”

“Because of you” you moaned, looking at Jean’s large fingers slipping through your wet folds, drinking in the heavenly sight. Jean gritted his teeth, then lightly bit down on your earlobe. Because of him.

“This pretty little pussy only gets so wet for me, huh?” he smiled to himself as he coated his fingers in your slick, his cock throbbing as your wet little sounds hit his ears. His hand started to drag painfully slow circles on your clit.

“Mmhm” you moaned in agreement as you felt yourself losing your mind from his touch. “Jean, I—I want you inside”

“Does my pretty girl want to be stretched out on my fingers?”

“Yes!” you cried out and he grunted in your ear. He obeyed your wish, pressing his middle finger to your sopping entrance, then slowly slid in his fingertip. Your moans started to turn slutty, and it drove him insane. “More, please—“

“So needy” his finger slipped further inside with his words, your slick walls clenching around it as Jean found the sensitive, spongy little spot inside you and pressed into it.

“Oh my god— Jean!”

“Does this feel good, baby?” he asked, hot breath against your neck, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit as his middle finger picked up the pace. He moved in and out of you, curving his finger just enough to drag against your spongy spot every time while his other hand fondled the soft plush of your breast.

“It feels so good—Please, more” you whined while obediently looking into his eyes - but Jean couldn’t take his off of the lewd scene of your prefect body spread out in front of him. You moaned loudly as he added his ring finger, careful as he stretched your sensitive walls, then immediately picked up a faster pace when he felt your insides relaxing and molding to his touch.

“Fuck, you’re so tight…”

“Holy sh—FUCK” your eyes closed shut as the intense pleasure of him fingering your pussy flowed in your core, and Jean kept the same rhythm, two thick fingers pumping in and out of you as you squeezed around them. It felt so good being stretched out, being so full and stuffed.

“You like getting fingerfucked, huh?” he darkened with lust as your pussy squelched, the sounds of your desperate moans and your wet pussy creaming around his fingers making his mind blurry. He couldn’t help his hips grinding against your ass, his precum wetting the fabric of both of your clothes. “Fuck— Y’like getting stuffed with my fingers?”

“Mmh YES” you whined, almost sobbed out from the overwhelming pleasure building up inside you as you neared your orgasm. “Jean, I’m—“

“That’s it, baby, you’re gonna cum on my fingers. Let it go” he groaned in your ear, eyes pinned to your pretty, flushed face as warmth filled your cheeks, you squeezed your eyes shut and your breath caught in your throat as you reached your peak. Jean moaned at the heavenly feeling of dragging his fingers along your tight walls, growing wetter and squelchier as he practically bullied your sweet spot - until the knot inside your stomach became undone, and you exploded. “Let me have it, pretty girl”

“JEAN!”

An intense wave of orgasm swept through you, the feeling so powerful only Jean’s name and nonsensical moans could leave your mouth. Jean’s movements slowed down as he felt your pussy gush a little on his hand, gooey wetness pooling at his palm.

“Look at how much you love getting fucked by my fingers” he grinned and you both gazed at the strings of wetness connecting your pussy to his hand as he pulled away. You whimpered as his fingers slipped out of you, already missing the feeling of being stuffed full.

Jean shifted on the bed behind you, and hovered over you after laying you flat on your back. Your eyes met in an intense, heavy gaze.

“You did so good” he smiled as you blushed under his burning stare, then pressed a soft kiss on your swollen lips. You kissed him back eagerly while you grabbed his hand between your legs and pulled it up to your face.

Jeans mouth parted, breath caught in his throat as you broke the kiss and put his fingers in your mouth. You felt a new wave of arousal as your eyes locked with his, sucking his fingers clean as you tasted yourself. You pulled them out of your mouth with a smack, Jean instantly closing the distance between your lips with an eager, sloppy kiss. He moaned in your mouth as he felt your taste on your tongue.

He lifted his head, hovering over you as his thumb brushed along your lower lip. As if you perfectly understood each other without words, you obediently opened your mouth, then put your tongue out to let the line of drool spill into your mouth from Jean’s. Wet warmth spread on your tongue, the feeling so lewd, so messy and sloppy, you couldn’t help whimpering in pleasure.

Jean’s thumb pushed on your warm tongue and your mouth closed, wrapping your lips around it again. “Your mouth feels incredible—shit”

“I want to take your cock in my mouth” you replied softly and Jean’s head buzzed at hearing that. His achingly hard, leaky cock wanted nothing more than to be buried between those plump lips of yours - but he knew he wouldn’t last a minute. He wanted to pleasure you some more.

Jean kissed you again instead. His lips moved gently against yours, then moved down to your jaw, your neck as your head rolled back with a moan. You felt an airy whisper against your skin, “Not yet, baby”

His lips wandered confidently, knowing exactly what he wanted. He moved to your breasts, drawing a whine out of you as his tongue twirled around your hardened nipple. Jean adored your boobs - he admired them for a while, fondling, licking and gently biting down on them, taking his sweet time before he started moving down your stomach. He left wet little pecks on your skin, feeling you get more sensitive and squirmy as he reached your pretty little mount of venus.

Warmth spread on your face as you looked down at the pretty man between your legs, feeling the heat of his face radiating to the sensitive skin of your pussy as he leaned close. You came on his fingers shortly before, but you still got flustered as you gazed at his face, a few strands of hair falling to his forehead, his eyes examining your most sensitive parts so closely. Your thighs attempted to close in embarrassment, but Jean made sure to keep them open with his strong arms.

“This is the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen” he breathed out, sending shivers up your spine. He smiled at your reaction, then pressed the most gentle little peck on your puffy pink clit as his eyes darted to yours.

“Oh god, Jean—“

Jean answered with a long lick through your slit, tongue splitting your lips open as he gathered your sweet wetness. You moaned loudly, already feeling overwhelmed with pleasure. Jean moaned into your pussy as he pushed his tongue into your warm entrance. He wanted to stuff your wet little hole full of his cock so, so bad.

“Oh my god, that feels so good—feels so good” you whimpered as his tongue slipped up to your clit, starting to lick with a steady rhythm as his fingers pulled your lips apart. He groaned as he had his face buried in your pussy, the vibrations of his voice sending electric waves to your core. His lips occasionally closed around your clit as he slurped and continued licking.

“Mmhmy god” Jean mumbled as your hand gripped his hair, tugging on it as you completely lost yourself in the pleasure, thighs jolting, toes curling, a moaning and nonsensically babbling mess.

Jean looked up at your beautiful face between your breasts and his vision became blurry with arousal. Your pretty sounds and your delicious wetness on his tongue made him roll his hips onto the bed as he layed on his stomach with his trousers and boxers only partly pulled down, grinding into the mattress slowly, the friction elevating his senses.

Your orgasm built up even more quickly this time, and as you returned your gaze to Jean, you instantly felt yourself slipping over the edge. The sight of him licking your sensitive little pussy, his face smushed into it as he thrusted his hips against the bed, rutting and fucking into it while moaning into you was just too much to bear.

“Don’t stop licking, baby, I—I’m cumming” you muttered and the knot in your stomach snapped again as Jean’s eyes pierced into yours. Jean grunted against you as your legs started trembling, soft little moans falling from your lips as you came for the second time. He lapped at your overstimulated little clit as you came down from your orgasm, but he just couldn’t stop rutting into the bed as he neared his own peak. “Jean, c’mere”

Jean pushed himself up from the bed, quickly pulling down and kicking off his trousers alongside with his underwear, then got on his knees above you to your hand’s inviting motion. Your fingers digged into his thighs as you directed him to kneel on both sides of you - you laying there underneath him, his hard and swollen cock hovering over your pretty face was so lewd, he could cum just from this sight alone.

“I’m so close” Jean whimpered, his hand gently fisting his sensitive tip, careful not to immediately spurt all over you. Your hands greedily wandered up his thighs to cup his balls, so sensitive and heavy, full of cum just for you. You licked your lower lip as you raised your gaze to Jean’s desperate face, flushed with desire.

“Cum all over my face then, pretty boy” you bit down on your lip and took his cock out of his hand. Jean’s head started spinning and he let out a loud moan as you opened your lips, sliding his tender, swollen tip into your warm mouth. Your eyes closed at the feeling and the taste of his precum on your tongue.

After a few moments, you made sure to stare right into Jean’s eyes as your soft lips wrapped around his thick shaft. Jean’s breathing got heavier as you sucked on the head of his cock, suckling gently before swirling your tongue around it. His thumb caressed your cheek as you moved your head to suck more of him into your mouth, eager to take all of his length - even if it seemed impossible.

“Y/n—fuck—slower, y’gonna make me cum” he tried to pull back with a breathy moan, but that just made you even more determined. You wanted him to see fireworks as you milked him dry. “You feel so—so fucking good”

You wrapped a hand around his girth as your wet lips dragged along a part of his length, sucking on the sensitive tip at the end.

“That—that feels good” Jean groaned at the sight of your pretty lips wrapping around his thick cock. “Suck on it, pretty girl”

Your tongue twirled around his head mercilessly as you hollowed your cheeks, lips sucking it tightly into your mouth over and over again. Jean’s vision went white at the unearthly sensation - his thighs started trembling, hips subconsciously rolling as he fucked into your mouth when his orgasm came crumbling down. “I’m—”

Jean let out a deep grunt followed by small moans of your name as he spurted his cum into your mouth. Thick white ropes gushed down your tongue, then all over your lips and a little on your cheek as you opened your mouth, pressing the sensitive slit of his tip on your puckered lips as he was cumming. You moaned in pleasure as the hot liquid started running down on your cheek.

“Oh my god” Jean said with a shaky breath as you grabbed his hand, using his finger to scoop his hot cum back to your lips. You gazed at him with eyes full of adoration as you moved his hand to sweep all of his seed into your mouth, licking his fingers clean. You felt a deep satisfaction as you tasted him and Jean’s head kept spinning as you swallowed all of it. “Holy—“

He plumped down on the bed next to you, laying close as the bare, hot skin of your bodies touched. You turned on your side to face him, your eyes softly sinking into each other’s. Jean couldn’t imagine a more beautiful sight than your flushed cheeks under your pretty freckles, your gorgeous eyes glistening at him, messy hair falling onto the pillow, sweet lips curving into a smile as he pulled you closer into a hug.

“Your smartass is just as delicious as you look” he mumbled against your cheek and you chuckled. You cupped his face into your hands as he planted small kisses all over your cheeks. Reality slowly set back in as you realized the loud music of Connie’s party was still pounding downstairs.

“Your dumbass just made me cum in Connie’s parents’ bed”

Jean laughed out loud as you made him realize, then digged his fingers into your hips as he pulled you onto himself.

“Twice” he added with a cocky grin and you bit back your own smirk. You honestly felt like you could go for a third one, still missing the feeling of his now familiar cock inside of you…

“Would it be highly inappropriate if—“ you let your hand wander down to his stomach. “If I asked you to—“

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

You both jolted in shock at the loud knocking on the bedroom door, followed by a shuffling at the doorknob. Jean jumped to his feet as he quickly grabbed his trousers from the floor, and you hastily pulled your bralette and dress back up on your breasts, pulling your dress down as you stood up. You silently blessed your past self for locking the door beforehand.

“Who the fuck is in there?!” Connie’s muffled shout came from the other side of the door, and you and Jean both froze. Your eyes met and you had to physically force yourselves to hold back a laugh bursting out of you.

You tried to keep your calm as you yelled back. “It’s me, Connie! I’m using the bathroom, I’ll be out there in a minute!”

“Y/n! Hurry up, I’m fucking pissing myself!” he squealed from the other side, and laughter bursted out of Jean’s pursed lips with a spitting sound, your shoulders silently shaking as you tried to smoothen out the jumbled bedsheets. Jean accepted his fate without a word, and opened the closet to hide inside as he tried to keep himself from wheezing with laughter.

159 notes · View notes

jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd · 3 months

Note

PLEASE write about Jean seeing you for the first time in four years 😭. Like you got taken by Reiner or something and when they attacked you went and found him. PLEASE THIS WOULD BE SO COOL!!

at last

pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader

word count: 1.2k +

tw: kidnapping, cursing, angst,

a/n: wow! this is a lil emotional! i hope you love it like i do. also, this isn't proof read.

it'd been four years. it'd been four whole years since you felt the company of your comrades, no, your friends. the day you were taken still burned sharply in the back of your mind, replaying on an endless loop, constantly reminding you of the last day you were happy. there was no forgetting the devastated looks, their faces twisting and contorting with fear. the sounds of their panicked shouts fading into the distance. the most haunting thing of all your brain tortured you with was the feeling of jean's fingertips slipping away from yours.

things like that weren't so easily forgotten, especially from the confinement of your cell. at the end of the day, you were grateful. you were grateful to still have your life, no matter how miserable it might have been. the cell you stayed in was dim, cold and all too quiet. it was the perfect breeding ground for your trauma, festering day and night. of course, there was a time you weren't as grateful; you'd rather have died then reside in marley for whatever time you might have had left. you were angry. you were angry at reiner, at marley, at the scouts for not being successful in their attempts to rescue you. there was fear residing there, too. were your friends alive? where was eren? did they know what you knew? did they know about the cruelty of the world?

eventually, reiner became somebody different. you no longer saw him as the traitor as he once was. you grew to understand him, your resentment eventually fading away. he'd come down most days and visit you. he taught you a lot of things about marley and about paradis. reiner would tell you about the world away from your cell, about things that were happening outside.

the day came where reiner told you that willy tybur, an eldian noble, was going to declare war on your homeland. he seemed remorseful to be telling you this. you screamed at him, begging him to interfere all while reminding him he was once a soldier, too. he ignored your pleas and left you a pacing mess in your cell.

not long after reiner's disappearance, a blond male soldier stopped by your cell. the soldier said nothing as he fumbled around in his pockets before pulling out a set of keys. he unlocked the door as you asked a thousand questions, raising your voice with each word. he said nothing. like reiner, he left without a word.

the sound of eren's titan echoed through the air, shaking the ceiling and causing bits of rock to fall. you thought you were hallucinating, your brain playing another sick trick on you. you heard it again with booms following right behind it. praying on the chance it was real, that eren was really here, your legs took off, your calves burning with each swift movement.

above ground was a nightmare coming to life. the sky was dark. there were no stars to see, the only light from the raging fires. the attack titan's silhouette was visible, muscles rippling as he pounded another titan. there were so many emotions running through the track of your mind but there was one thought that stood out apart from the rest.

if eren was here, were the scouts here too?

then, you heard it. the unmistakable sound of odm gear being launched through the air. anxiety brewed deep within you, letting you know this might be your one chance to go home, begging you to not let it slip away the way jean had let you. tilting your head up to the sky, you saw them. the scouts, in a different uniform than you remembered, were zipping through the air with utter grace. they were angels compared to the relentless war behind them. you wanted to cheer; your saviors were here, at last. you opened your mouth, filling your diaphragm with all the air it would let you and you screamed. you screamed as loud as you could.

"help! it's me, (y/n)!" it was the only thing that came to your mind. you thought your efforts were useless, barely being able to hear yourself over the screams of men, women, and children. the fight between of titans covering up your futile attempts at a rescue. you were about to yell again when you felt an arm snake around you.

the air was cold, an unwelcoming breeze, as you flew through the air with an unknown liberator. your eyes closed as the harsh wind hit them. you'd long forgotten what it was like to be a scout. once being able to zip effortlessly through your environment, you found yourself taken back. the arm on your waist was warm and you reveled in the heat, despite the chilled air around you.

your flight came to an end and only then did you open your eyes. with wide eyes, you blinked, taking in your surroundings. you were on a rooftop now. you centered your eyes in front of you.

"(y/n?)" his voice is choked, barely getting through your name.

jean kirstein.

tears brimming in your eyes like a dam threatening to break, you had let out a guttural cry. the next word out of your mouth was much softer than the sound you'd just made. "jean." you whisper. jean didn't move as water collected in his eyes, spilling over and running down his face. "jean." he nodded his head, at a loss of words. his mouth opened but only the sound of war was heard. jean shook his head and lunged forward, engulfing you in an embrace you thought you'd never feel again.

jean's shoulders were shaking with sobs and the battle behind was long forgotten. jean was no longer a soldier; he was healing. the wounds you'd left had never closed. they were deep gashes all over his body, aching to feel you, to hear you at any given moment. with a single embrace, he felt them closing.

his palm cradled the back of your head, the other wrapped around the entirety of your back. there was nothing said here as you two breathed each other in, finding the love that was once lost with each breath. jean's voice was quiet in your ears.

"i'm sorry," his breath was warm as it poured over the side of your neck. "i'm sorry." jean repeated.

you found it within you to pull away from his arms. you could see him now. you could really see him now. you could see how the four years had hardened him. the only thing that was the same was his eyes. it was the same way he had looked at you back then. his eyebrows twitch with concern, awaiting your next word, scanning your face for a hint.

your mouth fell open, desperately begging you to say something, to say anything at all. the sound of your cry was barely heard over the explosions of thunderspears; your tongue failing you with words once again.

"i know, baby."

you rushed forward, meeting him once again in an embrace. your head became wet with his tears as yours dampened his neck. jean's arms tightened as he let out a shaky breath. "i'm here, baby. you're here with me, at last."

my jean fic 🤍

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uhliezuh00 · 9 months

Text

“Ready?” “Ready.”

“3, 2…1”

fanart based off of chapter 22 of Okay, Bambi by ichibantoast

i included a self insert

@akisbrew

#jean kirstein #attack on titan #fanart #fanfiction #aot #snk #attack on titan fanfiction #jean kirstein fanfiction

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jeankluv · 6 months

Text

Finding you || Jean Kirstein x f!oc

Words: 5,8k

Warnings: fluff, canon & post canon, some angst, spoilers for aot, the female character has a name but her appearance is never described, Jean’s pov mainly.

Summary: Jean never believed in love at first sight, it wasn’t until she appeared on his life

Notes: This is a story that has been on my drafts for over a year now, and I decided to finish it as a goodbye to one of my favorite characters, Jean Kirstein.

Materialist

Months passed by and no info about Eren was found. It was like he disappeared completely. While they searched for him they also investigated Marley and the world, that was the mission they had until some news from Eren came.

As usual Jean woke up early in the morning, he went to the kitchen of the apartment he was staying in, none of the group were staying in the same place but they were close to each other just in case. He prepared himself the usual breakfast and once he was done, he went to buy the newspaper. It was something he always did, that way he could recollect information for the group. He walked down the streets of the city, it was early in the morning so there weren't a lot of people around, just the ones on their way to their work.

He arrived at the store where he always bought the newspaper. He smiled at the owner and paid for it. He starts walking to a nearby coffee shop, so he can get coffee while reading the newspaper. That’s until he bumps into a girl, way smaller than her, and she falls to the floor. Jean looks at her and tries to help her stand but, she is faster, and pulls Jean to her and stamps her lips against his.

Jean doesn’t move and his eyes are wide open. He hears some people running behind them, searching for someone. That’s when the girl separates from him and looks around. Once she makes sure no one is around, she tries to run away once again.

“Hey!” Jean stops her. She tries to free her but Jean is way stronger. “Hey! Stop!”

And she stopped. “What?” She said with an angry look, looking at Jean.

“What? You just bumped into me and then kissed me. And now you want to leave without any explanations?” He said looking at her and crossing his arms.

“Yes, any problem big boy?” Jean smirked, she really is something.

“Those people… were searching for you?” He said pointing to the direction where they went.

She looked in that direction. “Why do you care?”

“Well… maybe I can help you.”

“You already did that.” She said and tried to leave but Jean grabbed her once again. “You don’t know me… so why do you care so much?”

“Because… maybe I don’t know your situation but you seem desperate and maybe I can help you.”

She laughed. “If you knew what I am you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be touching me or you wouldn’t even want to breathe the same air as me.”

Jean didn’t respond this time, something clicks in his head. Could she be a eldian too? So those people probably knew about her being an eldian and were trying to catch her and who knows what to do to her. This makes his blood boil, why it’s the outside world like this with them? He comes back to his senses, just to find that she is gone.

“Damn it!” He started ñ walking trying to find her but she is gone. Just like she appeared, she is gone.

Frustrated, he started walking back home. He really hoped the girl would be okay.

“Jean!” He heard his name being shouted by no other than the two most scandalous people on earth.

“You two really can’t keep a low profile, don’t you?”

Both made a sad face. “C’mon Jean boy, don’t be mad.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Now who is making a scene?” Asks Sasha laughing.

Jean lets out a sigh and keeps walking, followed by Connie and Sasha who are talking about going to the cinema, since finding out about it the whole group has been fascinated with it. The three of them arrived at the place where they usually met to talk about the things that they learned. The rest were already there, so they all sit around the table to talk. The reunion ends up with not much info or new clues.

“You seemed distracted.” Armin said. “You didn’t say a word during the whole time. What’s on your head Jean?”

“It’s nothing Armin, I was just tired.”

“You went out last night again? You know that if captain…”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Hey man. You know that if something is going on, you can talk. Right?”Jean nods and drinks from his coffee cup.

“Jean, are you coming to the cinema tonight?” Asked Connie.

“Yeah… sure why not?”

“Brats remember to be careful.” Captain Levi spoke looking at the group.

The whole group nodded after hearing their captain's order. It was early to go to the cinema, so they decided to hang out and enjoy their time together, pretending to be normal and not soldiers from the devils of the island. The five of them were on a bar drinking and enjoying the day. It really seemed like nothing changed, like they were still in their cadets day. Like all their commanders were still alive. It was nice, it was warm to see them happy, that’s what Jean was thinking while looking at his friends.

“Oi Jean!!” Screamed Connie into his ear.

“Are you dumb or something?!”

“I have been calling for you for the last 5 minutes.” Jean rolled his eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Ask for another round!” He said, raising his glass.

“Connie, if you keep drinking you want to be alright to watch the film.” Spoke Armin this time.

“C’mon Armin! We are young! Let’s enjoy ourselves! Right girls?” He said looking at Mikasa and Sasha, who until a few moments ago they were talking with each other.

“Yes, let's go, Armin!” Sasha screamed this time and Mikasa laughed at her friend's reactions.

Armin sighted, knowing it was a lost battle. “Alright, let’s have another round. Jean could…”

“Sure, I will buy another round.” He said standing and going to ask for another round. “The same as��”

“Disgusting eldian!” A man shouted, the whole group froze in place. “I’m calling the police! They have been searching for you right?”

Jean turned around to look at the place where everything was happening. There she was, the girl from the morning.

“Is she one of the devils?” A woman asked.

“Yes, this morning police were chasing her, and now she was trying to buy something here at my shop, pretending to be one of us!”

People started surrounding her and calling her disgusting names. Jean clenched his fists and tried to go to her.

“Jean… what are you doing?” Said Armin while holding him by the arm.

“We can’t leave her, she needs help!

“We can’t. If we do something they will suspect us.” Sasha spoke this time.

“I can’t do that! Sorry…” He said ignoring his friends.

He was being selfish, he was putting all his friends in danger and for what? For a girl that he met that same morning. What was he thinking? I must be going crazy. He pushed some people aside, to get where she was.

“You think a garbage like you, can keep escaping?! Oh no! You will go back to where you belong! Stupid slut!” The man said, grabbing her by the hair.

“Please… stop…” She said with hot tears rolling down her face.

“No you beg for mer…” Jean didn’t really think before punching the man in the face.

People gasped in shock and the face of his friends went completely blank.

“You…” The man said. “Who do you think you are?”

“I hope you can run. Because we are leaving right now.” Jean whispered to the girl, who stood next to Jean.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Why are you defending that evil?” The man shouted. ”Don’t tell me… you are also one of them?”

Jean grabbed her hand tightly, she looked at him. “Now!”

And both started running, as fast they could, ignoring anyone that shouted for them to stop. They kept running for a little while more, until it was safe no one was following them. Jean stopped and tried to catch his air again. He looked at her and saw her down on her knees facing the floor. She looked so small, fragile, different to that same morning.

“Hey.” Jean kneeled in front of her. “You okay?”

No response came from her, she didn’t even look at him. Jean sighted and stood back, looking around once again, making sure no one was near.

“We need to…”

“Why did you help me?” Her voice came out, almost as a whisper. “Now,…. Now you’ll be in danger because you helped me.”

“Because I wanted to.” Jean said, looking at her.

“Because you wanted to?” She stood facing him. “Are you completely insane?!”

“Maybe I am but what I did, it’s my problem.” He got closer to her. “Now, come with me. We need to treat those wounds you have.” He said touching her cheek where there was a wound.

“I can treat myself.” She said, moving away from his touch. “You don’t have to do anything more for me.” Jean rolled his eyes.

“You know what?” He said, focusing his eyes on her once again. “I don’t care, you are coming with me, I’m treating that wound of yours, then you will take a shower and eat something. You get it?”

“But… you’re so stubborn.” She said pressing her lips together, making a thin line. “What if you’re a pervert?”

“Would you believe me if I said I’m not?”

“No.”

“Then you will have to trust me. I won’t do anything to you, I just want you to be okay. That’s all.”

“You don’t even know my name. Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.” Then he looked at the left. “He would have done the same.” His words came out as whispered, difficult to hear but she did hear them.

She remained silent, looking now at his back. Why is he really helping me? She wondered.

She ended up accepting, because it really seems like he is worried and wants to help her. They both walk side by side, going through the less crowded streets to avoid suspicious people. None of them says anything, he just keeps walking, being followed by her. They both walked for a few more minutes until they arrived at the building where they entered. He must live here.

“You can make yourself comfortable.” He says letting her enter the place.

She nods and enters, the place feels comfortable and warm.

“I will go for the things to treat your cheek… you can take whatever you want from the kitchen.” He says pointing to the kitchen.

“Thank you…” She said and before he leaves she warns him. “And don’t forget, I won’t hesitate on killing you if you try something.”

He laughs and leaves the room. That girl…

“Captain Levi is going to kill me after he finds out what I did.” He spoke to himself while searching for the stuff. “Fuck, I really fucked up this time.” He sighed and grabs the kit from the shelves.

Jean made his way back to the living room and there she is, sleeping.

“I can’t believe her.” He whispered with a smile on his face. “You really fall asleep in a strangers place?” He sayid knowing no one will answer him.

He gets closer to her and looks at her face. She looks so peaceful like that. He shook those thoughts out of it.

“Hey stubborn girl.” He shook her.

She woke up startled and ready to punch him on the face. If it wasn’t because Jean had fast reflexes, he would’ve probably ended up with a purple eye.

“Hey! Easy.” Jean said, still holding her hand.

“Shit.” She said and took her away from Jean’s. “I fell asleep… fuck.” She whispered.

“It’s okay. You looked tired anyways.” Jean tried to calm her down.

“It’s not okay… I was reckless and I shouldn’t get so comfortable with someone I don’t know.”

“My name is Jean.”

“Why are you telling me your name?”

“You said you didn’t know me, well I’m introducing myself.” He gave her a faint smile.

“Still… you could…”

“I could what? Listen, I’m not going to give you in alright?”

“I… I can not believe that, you marleians, you lie so easily. You probably made a call when I fell asleep and the police are already coming for me.” She stood and started walking around the room.

Jean could see how her body was shaking from fear of the possible outcomes. He knew that telling her his real identity was risky, hell it was so fucking risky but he needed to tell her. Jean stood from the sofa and took her by the arm, making her stop walking. The stubborn, angry, defensive girl was nowhere to be seen at that moment, everything Jean could see right there was a scary, vulnerable girl.

“Please… I know I was rude and an asshole. But let me go… I… I need to go back home, please.” She started to silently cry. “I swear I will never come back, you will never see me again. I swear but please let me go.”

“Hey please calm down.” Jean tried to comfort her. “I’m not turning you in. I am… I am also an Eldian okay?”

She looked at him, shocked. What was he saying? No no no no if he was an eldian too, it meant he was also risking his life? Why? Why?

“Hey.” Jean spoke again. “Stop overthinking.”

“Why would you do what you did, you idiot?” She said and punched him on the chest.

“Here she is again.”

“Don’t laugh, why are you laughing idiot. You’re fucking risking your life for a stranger like me. I don’t understand, I truly don’t. Is it because I kissed you? You’re one of those perverts? But fuck… if they find out not only you are helping me but that you are also an Eldian, they will kill you and all because of me… Again, it’s happening again.”

Jean saw how something broke on her after the last sentence. She fell to the floor, crying and repeating, it’s happened again, again. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to make her feel safe, to make her understand that nothing was going to happen to her or him, that whatever she was thinking was not going to happen. He kneeled in front of her and embraced her, she tensed at first but then she continued sobbing into his chest.

“I’m sorry…” Jean heard her whisper.

“Listen, angry girl. Nothing is going to happen to me or to you. I promise.”

“Don’t do that…” She said. “Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep. Please.” She looked at him, still with tears rolling down her face.

“I will try my best to keep the promise…” He said, whipping her tears away. “Now, let me treat your wound.”

She nodded and sat next to Jean on the sofa. Jean put the kit on the table and took out the necessary stuff he needed to treat her wound. He had treated thousands of wounds since he joined the survey corps years ago, he knew how to do it but this time was afraid of hurting her. The wound wasn’t really that big but still he didn’t want her to suffer anymore. Once he was done he put everything back on the bag and turned around to look at her once again. Her eyes were still red and so was her nose.

“You want to eat something?”

“No. I really need to leave and go back home.” She said not looking at Jean.

“It’s already dark outside, it will be dangerous if someone sees you alone at night.”

“It’s… it’s okay, it wouldn’t be the first time I sneak out in the middle of the night.”

Jean thought for a moment. “I will go with you.”

“Wait… no no, you already did enough.” She stood following Jean’s footsteps. “You saved my ass twice today and you’re an Eldian too, it would be dangerous if a police stopped us and they asked us for our documents. We would be…”

“Hey.” He turned around and looked at her eyes. “Trust me okay? It will be alright, I will take you home, safe and sound.”

She stayed silent, observing each one of his movements and trying to understand why that man, named Jean and an Eldian like her, was helping her. No Eldian is willing to help another one if it means risking the little freedom they have and yet, the man she had in front of her was risking everything for her, someone who was an asshole that treated him poorly since the first minutes their destinies crossed paths.

“For more that I try to understand, I just can’t comprehend why are you doing all this.”

“Maybe you enchanted me with that kiss.” Jean passed next to her with a smirk on his face.

“Now you’re flirting? Is that what you want from me? To fuck me?” She angrily asked.

“Wait no no no no.” Jean shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong okay? It’s true that I couldn’t get the kiss out of my head, because it took me by surprise but I’m not doing this because I want to fuck you. I’m doing this because I think you desperately need someone to give you a hand. I’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Okay… sorry it’s just that… it’s not easy.”

“To trust someone?”

“Yeah…”

“I understand but try to trust me okay.” She nodded, still hesitant but with a feeling in her chest that made her believe his words. “Okay, put this on, it will be cold outside and like that we can cover you up, so those assholes don’t recognize you.” He grabbed the jacket and gave it to her, it smelled like him. “It looks gigant on you.”

“Maybe because you’re like two meters tall?” She said looking at the jacket and then at him.

“Almost two meters.” She rolled her eyes and tried to hide the smile on her face.

“Idiot…”

“You know, you can call me by my name, Jean. And by the way, you still haven't told me yours.”

“That’s right but I’m not telling you. Not yet.”

“And what should I call you then?” He tilted his head.

She was about to respond when a knock on the door made her freeze. She could feel her whole body trembling. Did he lie to you? It was the police, he called them?

“Look at me.” And she did, those honey eyes were looking at her and for some reason she knew right there, that he didn’t call them, that he didn’t lie and that she could believe him. “It’s probably my neighbor, so don’t worry, okay?” She nodded and watched him walk to the door.

She saw how he smiled to the person on the other side of the door and how politely talked to them.

“Jean, I heard a woman's voice earlier, are you finally settling down?” Jean laughed, he wished he could but in his position it was impossible.

“It’s not like that Miss Aldrich.”

“C’mon! Let me meet the girl.” Jean tried to stop her.

“Miss Aldrich I don’t think that’s a good idea, she…” C’mon Jean think about something.

“Oh I get it, yeah you two were having fun, alright Jean boy, I will leave you. Hopefully this old building will soon have new people.” And she left.

Jean sighed in relief, he loved Miss Aldrich and was a good woman but he couldn’t risk anything at that moment.

“Bee.” Jean heard from the other side of the room.

“What?”

“Call me Bee.”

Jean nodded at Bee and she gave him a faint smile. Bee didn’t know why she was willing to tell him her name but something inside her told her to do it, that it was okay.

“Okay, Bee. We should get going, so you can go back home.” Bee looked at him, he was offering his hand. “It will be easier if we pretend that we are a couple, if they stop us I will just show my ID.”

“But you…” She wanted to tell him if he was insane, if he lost his mind. But Jean winked an eye at her, making her heart race.

“I have a fake one, don’t worry, okay?”

“Okay…”

Bee held his hand and they both got out of the apartment. Jean held her tightly but gently, afraid of hurting her, afraid of someone taking her away. They needed to be careful, but the night was already coming so it was going to be easier for them to go unnoticed.

They walked the streets, like a normal couple would do, not making themselves notice. It wouldn’t be true to say Jean’s heart wasn’t racing like crazy, he was nervous about the possibility of getting caught and holding Bee’s hand wasn’t something that was helping. He couldn’t deny that she was beautiful, breathtaking to be more exact. But he couldn’t think about her that way, no, he needed to take her to her home and then hope she would be able to live a normal life, while he kept searching for Eren. That’s what was going to happen and they wouldn’t see each other anymore.

Bee moved beside Jean, guiding him in the direction of her house. From time to time she would look at him, he was serious, looking around, making sure no one would come for her and not letting her hand go. It made her feel secure, protected, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. It almost made her cry in that instant.

Both of them kept walking for a little longer, leaving the most crowded streets behind, almost leaving the city behind. Bee stopped when they reached a small neighborhood, with old houses and almost no light.

“It’s here…” She said letting Jean’s hand go, feeling emptiness when she did it.

“Oh…” Jean looked around and nodded. “Alright…” he swallowed.

“I guess… it's a goodbye.”

“I guess so.” Jean played with his feet. “Are you sure you will be alright?” He looked at her with worried eyes.

Bee swallowed and blinked, trying not to throw herself to him and cry saying that nothing would be alright, that she was afraid and ask him again why everyone viewed them as monsters, why couldn’t see feel safe like she did with him. But she didn’t and she simply smiled at him.

“I will be. Thank you again.”

Jean nodded and they both stayed looking at each. Jean knew he should turn around and walk away, forget about her, forget about that whole day, go back to his life but something wasn’t letting him move, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to move away.

“I think… I will be heading home.” She whispered and started to walk away.

“Wait!” Jean held her hand and made her turn around. “If you… if you ever need anything, just look out for me okay?” She nodded. “Jean Kirstein.”

“I will Jean. Thank you…”

And with that, they both walked away, with a heavy heart and the feeling of a missing piece on it. They met for less than 24 hours but none of them wanted to leave each other. Bee for a moment considered going back to him, asking him to take her away from that place, for them to pretend they were monsters but she couldn’t do that to someone she hardly knew but desperately wanted to know. Jean on the other hand, would have everything for her, for a girl that cornered him, the girl that was so stubborn, the girl that despite looking so strong was so broken, if she only asked to.

But they didn’t say anything and they both saw each other for the last time that night. Bee kept surviving and trying not to get caught, while Jean kept searching for Eren and distracting himself so he wouldn’t think about her.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

It was April, Jean’s birthday, thinking about it he never thought he would make it to his 20s after joining the survey corps. But there he was in a small bar near the refugee camp with Connie, drinking beer and chatting. After the Rumbling and everything falling apart live has been going too fast, it seemed like they couldn’t stop for a single moment, the attack on Liberio, then the rumbling, then helping those who were still alive, try to find peace. Hell they didn’t even properly mourn Sasha, Hange or even Eren, like they deserved, back then. He didn’t even have time to try and reach his mom and let her know that he was alright. He even thought about Bee, did she make it through the rumbling? Was she saved?

Although he met her for less than 24 hours, her memory was still on his head and he wished he could see her once again, at least to know she was okay.

He turned around to look at Connie, who was heavily drunk and dancing, although there was no music on. Jean smirked, he was grateful he had Connie with him and to have these stupid moments with him.

“C’mon Connie, let’s go home.” Jean stood and held Connie’s arm.

“Why? C’mon Jeanboy! It’s your birthday! You are entering your 20s, let’s celebrate it!” Connie went to the dance floor once again, ignoring Jean and forgetting about everything.

Jean sat back on his seat and sighed looking at his best friend. It was good that at least Connie was enjoying himself, but it was going to be a pain in the ass bringing him back home.

He simply stayed there, looking at his best friend, while with each drink he wandered in his thoughts. Two hours later they were kicked out of the place. Jean didn't think he was completely drunk, but his head hurt and he knew that tomorrow would be a hard day. He grabbed Connie's arm and dragged him to the place they now called home.

“You seemed to need help.” A female voice spoke, while Jean was trying to open the door.

“It’s okay, I can do it.” Jean responded without looking at the woman standing next to him.

“Let me help you.” She said and took Jean’s keys from his hands. “I own you one.” She whispered.

Jean blinked, trying to focus his gaze on the woman but he couldn't, everything was double for him.

“I don’t think… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay Jean… hopefully tomorrow you will feel better.” Jean saw how she started to walk away. “I’m glad you’re alive Jean.”

And with that the woman went away, leaving Jean confused and with Connie already sleeping on the floor. He moved him and started walking to their dorms, kicking Connie into his dorm and letting him fall on the couch. He covered his face with his arms, trying to make the headache stop but it was useless. He once again tried to think about the woman, tried to remember her face, but it was impossible, his vision had been too blurry, but something in her voice had seemed familiar. Jean finally fell asleep on the couch and it wasn't until the next morning that he woke up due to Armin waking him up.

“You should try and sleep on your own bed.” Was the first thing Armin had told him.

“Mhmm… I know mom.” Jean grunted, scratching the back of his neck. “Fuck my head hurts.”

“No wonder why, you and Connie had some fun last night.” He said, giving him a cup of water.

“Not every day you turn 20 you know?” Jean drank from the cup.

“A woman asked me about you.” Armin walked to the kitchen.

Jean blinked and stood up, following him. “A woman?”

“Yeah… she asked me about you this morning.”

“She told you her name or something?”

“No, just asked me if I knew you.” Armin shrugged. “Did you hook up with a woman? Jean we are on diplomatic…”

“Wait what? No. No I haven’t hooked up with…”

“Jean hooked up with someone?” Connie appeared in the kitchen.

“Connie… you were literally sticking your tongue inside on everyone’s mouth last night.”

“Hey! Don’t expose me like that bro.” Connie cried.

Jean rolled his eyes. “Where did you see her?” Said looking back at Armin.

“On the market, she was shopping.”

Jean nodded and without a word he left, he started walking across the streets, looking for the girl he met in Liberio. It had to be her, it had to be Bee, she survived and she was there, looking for him. Jean kept walking, looking everywhere, but who assured him that Bee would still be in that market? He reached the end of the market without any success, sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. He turned around and started walking in the direction of his house. Maybe today was not the day he was supposed to run into Bee, but they were both in that place so at some point they would meet.

“Hey big boy!” Jean stopped walking. “Are you sober already?”

Jean turned around and there she was. “Bee…” His feet started to move on their own and when he realized he was embracing Bee in his arms.

“Wow big boy, careful. You are much bigger than me.” She laughed.

“I’m sorry… I’m.” He broke the hug and looked at her. She was still beautiful. “You’re alive.”

“I am and so are you.” She smiled. “I heard you are some kind of hero.”

“I wouldn’t call it that. But… Bee I’m so glad to see you are okay. I…”

“Me too. I saw you a few weeks ago and felt so relieved, strange isn’t it? We met for less than 24 hours and only knew each other's names but somehow, I couldn’t keep you out of my mind and when the whole rumbling happened, I prayed to meet you again… Oh god, you must think I’m crazy or something.”

“No, no, I mean, I kinda felt the same and… maybe now we could get to know each other better. Grab some coffee or tea or whatever you want, I don’t mind. And only if you want of course.”

“Jean, are you flirting?” She raised an eyebrow without hiding her smile.

“I mean… maybe? Would you be bothered if I did?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Coffee sounds good.”

“Good. Should we go now or are you busy?”

“Now it’s alright.” She started walking.

They both started walking side by side, slowly and enjoying the sun of the day and each other’s company and presence. Jean was beyond excited and happy, to know she was okay and that she seemed happy, despite the whole world went to shit. He didn’t regret hugging her right after seeing her for the first time, he really needed to do it and it just felt right.

He never believed in those stories of someone falling in love with another one at first sight, he used to think it was unreal and stupid. That was until that day in Liberio, after weeks passed by he tried convincing himself that his stupid self only felt like that because Bee stole his first kiss, but as much as he wanted to believe it was because of the kiss that she was still on his head, he couldn’t. He really fell for her just by seeing her and spending some hours with her.

“Is this place okay for you?” She pointed.

“Yeah… it’s okay.” He nodded.

And they both sat on one of the tables of the coffee shop, Each one ordered something to drink and waited in silence until it was brought to them. Bee watched through the window at the people passing by, from one side to the other, while Jean looked at her profile and admired her beauty. He was thankful that none of her friends were around her, otherwise she knew she would have them making fun of her for days.

“So… how, how did you get out?” Bee turned to look at Jean after hearing his voice. “I mean, away from the rumbling.”

“Oh… it wasn’t easy but after that weird message, something inside of me told me we had to get the hell out of there. So we took the last train that was leaving, most people weren’t eldians so they had no clue what was going on, so it was easy to sneak into one of them. After that, when the… the titans started to show up, I prayed to be safe and we were saved. A couple of weeks later we ended up here and that’s it.”

“You said we, you weren't alone?”

“No, my nephew was with me.” She drank her coffee. “It’s just me and her now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, if it wasn’t because you saved me that day from those people I wouldn’t have been able to go back home to her.” She smiled.

“It was nothing, really.” He shook his head. “I’m glad, both of you are okay. I need to know something, why did you risk yourself back then?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you kissed me to get away from those policemen.”

“Oh that.” She looked down and smiled. “Something told me it had to be you. I guess it was right after all.”

Bee and Jean continued talking for hours, about everyday things, Jean told her about Paradise and Bee told her about her niece, her sister. Even when Bee had to leave to look for her niece, Jean accompanied her and continued listening to each of her stories carefully, without missing any detail of what Bee told her. Upon arriving at the school where Bee's niece was, Jean stood in front of her and took a breath.

“Would you go out with me?” Jean slowly spoke, meeting her gaze. “As a date, I mean.”

Bee's heart skipped a beat and she felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach. His honey gaze made her nervous and those words were making her even more nervous. With Jean she had felt security, protection and tranquility, but she knew there had been something more and her heart beat for it, she had liked him a lot. Very much. But the thought of never even seeing him again or anything happening between them had long since disappeared. Until a week ago she saw him again and her heart raced again like that time in her apartment. Bee licked her lips and looked first at her worn shoes and then at Jean's gaze. Maybe this was the destiny telling her that finally she was going to be happy.

“I would love to.” She smiled and so did Jean.

#jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirschtein angst #jean x you #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean x reader #jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirstein x oc #jean kirstein x you

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damn-stark · 5 months

Text

Chapter 33 Where’s my mind?

Chapter 33 of Cherry

A/N: sorry?

Warning- Angst, swearing, fluff?, mentions of death, and violence and ptsd, suggest nfsw, cliffhanger

Takes place during- The final chapters special 2

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*A COUPLE MONTHS LATER. MARLEY*

“A punishment must be imposed! They are from Paradise!”

“They helped save humanity! We are alive because of them! They deserve to be honored Marleyeans!”

They’ve been arguing over the same thing for the past couple of months, the battle between Titans and humanity ended and the first thing they focus on is whether they should punish every remaining Eldian, or honor you as the heroes you are. It’s a stupid fight, a childish argument that’s taken too long to discuss.

Besides Marleyan and Eldian? Does it matter now that Titans are extinct?

No, so their answer should be simple. If they don’t want to accept that it was because of you that their hearts are beating and their lungs are taking in another breath, then they're the real monsters.

Then again you don’t really care what they call you anymore, you don’t care if they continue to argue for the rest of their lifetimes. You don’t care if you’re celebrated and honored, you can’t care about much as of late. It’s weird, isn’t it?

All you can care about, all that matters is if they’ll choose a punishment or not. You just need to know if they want to lock you back up in their stupid underground cells or not, because you can’t go back there, you can't let them touch you again. You can’t.

The doctor that would perform all the experiments on you is dead, you killed him with your own hands, but there’s still more like him. You can’t go through that again and see their smug faces as they overpower you, a strong soldier. A soldier who kept their strength even after the Titans died. You can’t be trapped in the dark again, you can’t be hit and chased. You can’t. No, no…

…It’s happening again. The shortness of breath, racing heart, and panicked mind trigger the bad memories to flash and grow loud until the point you can’t hear what’s around you, you feel your body stiffen and everything go numb, even that once racing mind. It’s like you’re isolated, and feeling your own time slow down.

You need to collect yourself and focus.

Focus on Jean sitting beside you barely paying attention to what people are saying. Focus on the fact that you’re free right now, that you’re surrounded by your friends who wouldn’t let your worst fear come true. Focus…

Focus.

Yet as try to catch your breath the door opens and that doctor walks in. That same doctor who would hurt you, the same one you killed. He’s walking in….

“No, no, no,” you mouth under your breath and sit back as you grip onto the table's surface in front of you and squeeze your eyes shut.

When you open them again the doctor is gone and you notice that it was actually a woman. Your mind just tricked you…

Fuck. Damn it.

You loosen your grip on the table and stand up abruptly to walk out.

“Y/N?” Jean whispers.

“Outside,” you quickly throw out and slip past your friends watching you leave with concern.

But you can’t help it. You try to be better, but ever since the war ended your days have become longer as it’s filled with whatever tranquility means now; nothing. You have nothing to do now that you don’t have to fight, so those nightmares have turned into actual torture during some unexpected parts of your days.

They say it’ll go away, but it’s been months and you’ve gotten worse. You feel yourself getting worse, it’s why…well, it’s why you’ve come up with an important decision in your life. Something you can’t imagine will go well for one person in particular, but you have to make it. You just can’t handle what you’re suffering through whilst staying here.

Who knows if making your decision will make anything better, but you can’t even catch your breath when you’re outside. You can’t…you can’t find beauty in anything like you used to. It’s all so dull and bleak, so ugly. So you hope making that decision will help. It has to. Plus you're not only making it for you, but for a promise you made Eren…

Eren…who sacrificed so much, but you’re here unable to breathe and mad at the world. You're unable to find any motivation to seek the life you can now have, the life you want.

He’d be so mad and annoyed…Tsk.

You proceed to drop your head and notice your heartbeat calming down, and your breaths go in and out normally. Your mind still doesn’t let go of those bad memories, but you slowly push them back and just bask in the silence. For a while anyway.

“Cherry.”

You quickly turn around and see Levi approaching you on his feet. “You need to be on that chair,” you scold him.

Levi rolls his eyes. “I can’t stand sitting down all damn day,” he snaps back.

You don’t argue, instead, you skip over and plop yourself on his wheelchair. “Well when you’re not using it don’t haul it around, you look insane pushing nothing around.” You snicker.

“Tsk. Aren't you supposed to be inside listening?”

“Aren't you?” You retort and sit back before you begin kicking your feet back and forth as he begins to push you away from the meeting tent.

“We should find a hill so you can push me down it on this thing,” you suggest lightheartedly.

Levi scoffs. “Yeah and see you die when you fall off the damn thing,” he counters.

You chuckle softly and begin to fiddle with your fingers before you blurt out your trouble. “I’m thinking of going back to Paradise.” You swallow thickly and shut your eyes as you expect an angry protest.

After all, you’ve lived with this nagging fear that either of you could die when the Titans existed, and when the war was ramped. So now that things have calmed down and you don’t have such a nagging feeling poisoning your mind, you can finally live together with ease.

“When are you guys planning to leave?” He asks nonchalantly. He doesn’t sound upset, he doesn’t stop pushing you in his wheelchair either, and he sounds like what you said didn’t bother him.

It’s good. You need that. You want that from Jean too.

“No, just me,” you correct him. “I'm planning to leave alone. I don’t want to pull him away from this, it’s hard but he likes doing this. And I can’t stay here anymore, I just…need to get away from here. I need to…find myself, I don’t know,” you mumble and keep looking at your hands.

Levi finally stops moving the wheelchair and lets out a deep breath. You expect some protest, something that will make you feel bad.

“All right,” he says in comprehension and catches you off guard. Even though it shouldn’t, he’s accepting, he tries to understand even if sometimes that does come late.

“I mean I know you’re not asking for permission,” he continues. “But I think it’s the right thing for you.”

Your eyes well with tears and you can’t help but let a soft smile tug on your lips.

“I’ve just seen you struggling here, returning might be nice. And you won’t be alone, Mikasa is there, as well as Historia.”

You hum. “I know. I’ve written to them both, Mikasa says she has a room in her apartment. And Historia is working towards my pardon.”

Levi stays quiet for a moment before he interjects. “So is this more of a goodbye?”

You shake your head and look up at the bland land ahead ruined by the rumbling. “No, I’ve been indecisive. I don’t want to leave Jean behind, or you.”

“You don’t worry about me,” Levi quickly rebuttals. “Nor do you need to worry about him. Worry about yourself, that’s all that matters. If he can’t accept your choice in the right way that you deserve then he’s not right is he?”

You frown and try to defend him. “It’s not that, he’s just you know…protective, he’s headstrong, and stubborn.”

“Well, regardless,” Levi sighs. “He needs to accept your choice. Is that why you’re holding back from deciding?”

You hesitate but nod since you still continue to be a terrible liar. “Yeah,” you whisper and lift your head, managing to catch a group of young adults to the far right side of you glancing over here and murmuring to each other.

“Then stop,” he says sharply. “He’s just your boyfriend. If he loves you he’ll understand.”

You slowly peer back and flash Levi a smile. “What is this? Love advice? And you’re good at it. You sound like Pieck.” You giggle.

“I'm good at a lot of things,” Levi mutters and averts his gaze. “And I did raise a girl, so it was required.”

You chuckle. “20 years late.”

“Whatever.”

You face ahead again and sit back with an amused smile on your face and with this sense of relief comforting your hesitation and fear over telling Jean. You also feel a bit of bliss that Levi accepted without causing an argument or protesting.

However, that simple bliss vanishes away quickly as you see that same group looking over here and pointing as they smile and laugh, and instead an unfamiliar raging anger replaces it.

“You’ve got a fucking problem!” You snap at the group and hastily push yourself off the chair.

“Cherry,” Levi tries to calm you down, but you storm towards the group of men before he can even lift his hand.

“Yeah, you!” You sneer and point your chin at the main man who had been gawking like a schoolgirl. “You have a fucking problem!”

The blond man puffs out his chest and his friends grow quiet, but you see their smiles trying to peek through their serious demeanor.

“Nothing,” the blond man brushes you off. “Just talkin’.”

You huff out and shoot him a glare before you roll your eyes and turn away. You’re about to join Levi again, but then one of his friends mutters under his breath.

“Eldian—”

You don’t let him finish, you spin around and charge at the friend to grab him by the collar. “Say it!” You seethe and shove him back on the ground. “I saved your fucking life! So say it you fucking cunt. Say it!” You stomp over there and want to throw a punch, but then arms wrap around you and you’re getting pulled back.

“Relax, relax, just ignore them,” Jean tries to calm you down.

You squirm in his hold and point at the guy. “Say it!” You bellow between your heaving.

The guy's friends help him, and their teasing smiles and puffed chests are gone now. They look at you with disbelief and disgust.

“Just leave it,” Jean whispers in your ear.

You continue to burn your glare into them until Jean manages to turn you around to face Levi and the rest of your friends watching with concern.

“Just breathe,” Jean whispers. “Breathe.”

You drop your gaze and feel pissed that he pulled you away, but you don’t argue, you just do as he says and begin to realize that you let your anger get to you again.

You tried to fight it and not escalate to such an extreme, but this blinding anger is something so new. You’ve never felt it to such an extreme in your life. It’s so overwhelming that you can’t help but get lost in it. And you never realize how you’ve reacted until after.

“I’m okay,” you huff out even though you haven’t gotten to actually being okay with it yet. He just won’t let go until you say it. “I’m calm.”

Jean slowly lets go of you and walks around to face you. “What was that?” He asks.

You lift your gaze and meet Levi’s gaze, and you both know that what you want is the right thing to do.

“It was…nothing,” you brush Jean off and meet his concerned-filled gaze. “Just facing ungrateful people.”

Jean grabs your shoulders and leans in closer. “Well, sweetheart, they barely tolerate us as it is, so just look the other way okay? It’s hard I know, but please.”

The corner of your lips twitch to a smile and you lift your hand to caress his cheek. “The role of leader still suits you well.” You flatter him.

Jean holds your gaze and his eyes squint to try and read you, but he doesn’t take long because he accepts this as your defeat and strokes your chin. “Come on, we're done for today. Let’s go get ready for our date, yeah?” He smirks.

You hum and offer him a feigned smile before he goes to your side and throws his arm around your shoulders to begin dragging you with him and your friends.

“You okay?” Connie asks you.

You meet his curious gaze and nod stiffly. “I’m good. Don’t worry about me.” You shoot him a smile and pull away from Jean to rush over and push Levi’s wheelchair now that he’s sat down.

“Tell him,” Levi whispers with certainty so you know that he fully agrees with your plan. Now more than ever.

“I will,” you sigh and drop your head. “I will.”

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

The date went on like the previous ones, short, and unmemorable at least to you. You try to have fun like you would before, you try to laugh and make him laugh. You try to be your best and forget all your burdens for that moment, but it's a heavy weight so the date was short and it ended up the same, with you under him trying to at least feel something during your night of passion.

But you just mostly please him.

Can’t he see though? Can’t he see that you’re not really there, that you’re like a ghost?

Then again you don’t want him to see you, you want to be okay. And you don’t want him to treat you any more differently than he already is. So you don’t try to let him see, you play your part as best as you can. You let him leave a trail of sloppy kisses down your neck, you try to help him pull your panties down to your ankles, and gasp as you feel his kisses travel further down your body.

Do you feel pleasured though?

No. No matter how you try you can’t feel that same warmth in your stomach, you can’t feel eager or desperate to have him already be inside you. You just play a part. And he doesn’t notice.

Or at least he didn’t until now.

“Y/N?”

You snap your eyes down and watch him drag himself over to face you. “What’s wrong?”

Perhaps it was the need to tell him that you want to leave that gave it away this time. You can’t stop thinking about when you’ll tell him, or how you will, and how he will react.

“Yeah,” you lie and nod softly. “Sorry, I was lost in the moment.” You offer him a soft smile and he looks into your eyes, making you grin and grab his face. “Keep going, or I will flip you around.” You giggle.

Jean leans closer to your lips and parts his own lips, but he doesn’t commit the act of kissing you, so you lean forward and capture his lips with yours to try and make him feel that burning desire again. You don’t even seek an invitation to shove your tongue past his lips.

However, before you can deepen the gesture he rips himself away and sits up. You follow him and see him drop his head and frown down at his hands, so you pull your panties up and lean towards him to grab his arm.

“Jean, what’s wrong?” You ask cluelessly on purpose.

Said man mutters, “you tell me….do you not love me anymore?”

You gasp and grab his face to turn his head so he can face you. “Why would you say that? Of course, I do! I love you.” That’s the truth. The only truth you’ve said.

“Then how come it doesn’t feel like it? How come right now I don’t feel like you’re happy or like I’m pleasing you,” he argues and slowly narrows his glossy eyes. “Tell me, be honest.”

“I love you,” you assure him. “I love you. I am in love with you. You’re my everything, you’re my best friend and the love of my life. I love you. I can’t live without you.”

Jean holds your gaze and draws in a deep breath before he drops his gaze and nods slowly as he lets it out. “Then,” he continues in a quiet voice. “What’s wrong? I just feel like you’re not here sometimes, and when you are you pull stunts like the one earlier.”

You swallow thickly and stiffen as you get proven wrong about him not seeing you.

“So tell me,” he whispers and lifts his eyes to meet yours with a pleading and hurt look. “Is it this war ending? Because it’s hard I know. But we get to be happy now, we can’t change what happened to humanity.”

You nod softly. “I know that,” you whisper.

“Then?” Jean presses and grabs your cheek so you can hold his gaze. “Is it Eren? You guys were close—”

“No,” you cut him off softly. “It’s not Eren. I'm grieving Eren pretty well, I’m used to losing friends, so I can deal with it.”

Jean exhales and keeps pressing. “Then?”

You can’t tell him. This is not how you’re supposed to tell him. But he’s giving you an opening. The moment is here and you don’t have to squirm and try to encourage yourself to bring up the subject.

It’s here. Do it…

Do it!

“I,” you utter nervously. “I…I’m thinking about—no, I’m going back home,” you finally spill out.

“What?” Jean chuckles and slowly lets your cheek go, making you begin to fiddle with your fingers.

“I’ve thought about it,” you continue to explain without meeting his gaze. “And I’m going to do it. I’ve already let Mikasa and Historia know, they’re going to help me, and I’m going to go find myself again. I’m going to get better.”

“Find yourself?” Jean mumbles in disbelief. “What? What the fuck does that mean?”

You blink and steal a glimpse at him, noticing how bothered he’s beginning to look. However, you continue. “I need to go back home to heal. I can’t do that here. And I miss home. I miss it every day, and there’s a promise I need to keep for Eren. I can’t do that from here.”

Jean nods softly and snaps his eyes up to meet your gaze. “Okay, so when do we leave?”

You swallow back nervously and exhale deeply. “No,” you break it to him. “You’re not coming with me. I’m going back home alone.”

Jean's eyebrows furrow and he lets out a nervous laugh before he shakes his head. “No,” he stammers. “You’re not. Levi—”

“Is okay with it;” You assure him. “We talked, and he agrees that I should leave.”

Jean shakes his head again. “No,” he repeats. “No.”

“Jean,” you whisper and grab his hand. “I need to do this on my own, and besides maybe you can find someone else here,” you share with no ounce of pain, and that hurt him—“you can experience more of life now. You know? And who knows maybe, after this work takes you back home, maybe we can rekindle what we had.”

Jean pulls back and looks at you horrified. “Rekindle? Y/N, we’re supposed to get married. I love you. And you love me. So why-why are you saying this crap? Why are you pushing me away?”

It feels so much easier now. Even if you see him hurting it all feels so much easier to say.

“Because I need to do this on my own,” you tell him. “Because even if I love you, I know that having you there with me will only hold me back. Not because you’re a nuance, but because you’re my comfort, and in order to heal I need to not stay stuck where I am. Do you understand?”

Jean parts his lips but he just gapes like a fish before he drags himself out of bed.

“Jean?” You ask for clarification. “What are you doing?”

Jean begins to change back into his clothes and snaps back coldly. “Just think about what you’re saying. All this crap is stupid. So just think about it.”

You slide off the bed and grab his arm. “No,” you protest. “No. This is what I feel, I have been okay with it for a long time. I just didn’t want to break it to you because I knew you’d react this way.”

“How else do you expect me to react y/n?” He spats. “Do you want me to pat your back and say I’m happy you’re breaking my heart?!”

“Yes…No!” you quickly snap back and pull him to you. “No. I want you to be okay with it because you love me. I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t stay here. I can’t. It hurts too much, I need you to understand that.”

Jean huffs and grabs your wrists to pull you close. “Then tell me. If it’s about what happened at Marley then tell me. Please, my love. Baby. Don’t leave.”

“Jean,” you mutter with your annoyance growing at an unexpected rate that even catches you off guard. “Just listen to me!”

Jean freezes and steps back.

“Just,” you heave. “Listen.”

Jeans takes heavy breaths and his eyebrows slowly furrow as his mouth curls.

“I have to leave, don’t make this hard. It’s not supposed to be hard,” you cry between anger and anguish.

Jean scoffs and steps back to finish changing, you try to stop him but he pushes your hands away and takes a big step back. “No. No! Just leave then, if that’s what you want,” he hisses. “Then leave. I don’t care.” He turns around and storms out leaving you to look at the door frantically and in disbelief.

Yet it doesn’t change your mind, it just aches more that’s all, especially because he left you alone in the room. Which sounds pretty pathetic as someone who's already afraid of the dark, but you can’t help it, now you’re afraid to sleep alone, so you quickly change and find Levi. Luckily he’s awake too.

“What’s the matter?” He asks.

You meet his gaze and tears immediately begin to roll down your cheeks. “I told him,” your voice breaks. “He left.”

Levi exhales deeply and points at the edge of his empty bed. “Sit,” he commands.

You walk in and do as he says.

“You did what you had to do for yourself,” he adds softly. “Jean is a stubborn and hard-headed guy, but he’ll come around and if he doesn’t then that’s his fault.”

You blink repeatedly to push away your tears and respond in a quivering voice. “I yelled at him…I never do that. I was so angry that I was scared of myself,” you whimper. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Levi’s breath catches and he wastes no time walking over to sit beside you. “It’s not your fault. You’re just…” he sighs deeply. “Traumatized. It’s why if you want to go with no baggage then do it. Just choose what’s right for you, if it’s a mistake then learn to live with it.”

You slowly lift your watery gaze and look at him with a trembling lip. “Why don’t you go with me?” You ask. “We can go back home for a while. And then go back above ground.”

Levi averts his gaze and murmurs. “Cherry…it’s not my turn yet. But I will go back home when it’s time for me. You understand?”

It’s hard to grasp but you don’t argue. “Yeah,” you whisper with disappointment even if you had known the answer prior to asking.

“Now,” he whispers and pats the spot behind him. “Sleep. You look bad with those eyebags on your face.”

You muster a breathless laugh and drag yourself back to lie down and just stare at the ceiling. “I don’t sleep,” you share. “At least not anymore. So I guess I’m like you.”

Levi scoffs and gets up to sit back on his desk chair. “Aren’t we a pair?” He chuckles softly.

You watch the ceiling and sigh deeply as you dread leaving only because of the explanations and goodbyes you’ll need to give. You want them to be simple, and they probably all will, but will he want to say goodbye?

You hope and hope. And keep on hoping, but every day that week that leads to your final day, Jean never comes up to talk to you, he avoids you, he doesn't even have lunch if you’re there too. He's acting childish and you understand why.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to talk to him. But when that day comes for you to leave, for you to pack up your stuff you remain distant like never before. You don’t want to make him any angrier than he already is, so you avoid talking to him first.

You’ll say goodbye, but if he doesn’t want to speak about it you can’t force him. Maybe you’ll write to him when you get home, or a year from now when you’ve begun to heal.

Nevertheless, just as you are packing someone walks into your room.

“I’m almost done Levi,” you mutter without looking since you know you’re late. “Just wait okay?”

“Y/N,” you hear Jean utter.

You drop what you have in your hand and spin around to face him in disbelief. “Jean,” you whisper.

Said man holds your gaze as he heaves. “Don’t,” he says between his heavy breaths. “Don’t go.”

You drop your gaze and sigh deeply. “Jean,” you murmur displeased. “I told you I can’t.”

His footsteps approach and before you know it his hands fall on your cheeks and he lifts your head so you can face him. “Please,” he pleads. “Please, don’t go.”

You grab his hands and look at him with glossy eyes and discomfort as you have no choice but to give him reasons why you can’t live here a day longer. “I can’t stay, Jean! I can’t physically be here another day. Do you know that every day since you left I’ve gone to sleep with Levi because I’m terrified that someone from Marley is going to come to get me? I can’t walk down the street without looking over my shoulder every few minutes. I wouldn't even do that underground,” you cry and step back to hold your hands together as you feel them begin to shake.

“I don’t sleep,” you continue and meet his gaze with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I don’t eat. I can’t stand being alone, I’m angry, and I’m not an overly angry person, Jean. I’m terrified…absolutely terrified of going back, so much so that I carry…I…carry something that will end my life in a matter of seconds. That’s not okay. It’s not, I’m not okay.” You exclaim and watch him shake his head with his eyes filled with tears of pity and guilt, whilst also looking upset.

“And do you think I have it any better?” He argues. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now that it’s all over. So it’s not easy for me either, we can heal together. Just let me come with you, or stay.”

You shut your eyes and draw out a deep frustrated breath before you open your eyes and close the gap to grab his hands. “Jean, I can’t do this with you. I need to do it alone. Please understand. I love you, I’m in love with you. I will always love you, but please let me go. You love me so please let me go.”

Jean holds your gaze for a moment before he sniffles and nods softly in comprehension before he walks away, throwing away any chance at a good goodbye.

But you expected his goodbye, so you save your tears for later, wipe the current ones still rolling down your cheeks, and finish packing to finally head out. And of course, Jean is missing from the lineup, but everyone else is here.

“Could you look after my mom?” Connie comes up to you first.

You nod. “Of course I will,” you assure him and grab his shoulder to entrust something to him too. “Look out for him please.”

Connie doesn’t hesitate to nod, making you smile and step forward to embrace him tightly. “I’ll see you. Take care okay? I’ll write.”

“You better,” he quips. “And don’t be going around being stupid.”

You laugh and nod before you pull back and pat his cheek before you move on to Armin. “Keep fighting, a bit longer okay?”

Armin nods softly. “I will. And you…will look out for Mikasa?”

You smile and nod. “Of course I will. I promised I would.”

Armin is the one to give you a hug first, letting you let out a deep sigh as you slowly hug him back.

“He’ll come around,” he tries to assure you. “Just give him time.”

“I hope,” you whisper and rub his back before you pull away.

“Here,” he adds and shows off a letter. “It’s for Mikasa. Could you give it to her?”

You take the letter and secure it in your bag. “Right as I get down,” you assure him lightheartedly and step down the line to face Annie and Reiner.

And even if you’ve forgiven Annie, things are still awkward, and Reiner…well you still can’t forgive him or face him so you simply offer them something short. “Goodbye, you two. I’ll see ya.”

Reiner nods and steps forward as he raises his arms, but you quickly swerve his attempt at an embrace and face Pieck last.

“Goodbye, my friend. I will write because I do enjoy your company,” you let her know with a soft smile. “So expect them and write back.”

Pieck smiles and nods. “I will,” she says. “So I will expect them too.”

You shoot her a grin before you give each other a short embrace because in truth over the past couple of months, you’ve been together, you’ve gotten very close, especially because you didn’t have Mikasa, and Sasha is gone…so you became friends with her. And you’re happy you are.

Now, nevertheless, Levi is left, and you can’t embrace him like you want to because of his wounds, but you try your best with what you have.

“I love you,” you mumble. “I’ll write often, so I apologize in advance. And please write back or I will worry.”

Levi huffs. “Of course I will. I want to hear from you too,” he says softly as he caresses your back. “I want to see pictures. With that fancy thing, you took.”

You giggle and nod. “I definitely will take pictures.” You squeeze him a bit and inhale deeply to not forget his smell. “I’ll miss you.”

Levi hums. “I will too, but I’ll write, okay?”

You nod and pull back to face him with your eyes gleaming with tears. “Bye, Levi.”

“Bye, Cherry…I love you.”

You grin and feel content to leave with those three wonderful words. Yet you still look around for Jean when you ascend the ship, and find him leaning against a pole in the distance with his eyebrows furrowed and his frown deeply formed. He’s not happy but he’s there, so you’re content. You leave content.

——

*1 YEAR LATER*

To, Levi,

Today was a good day. I went out today, past the city and into the forest. You know the one by the old Survey Corps Headquarters? The one we arrived at when we first got above ground? Yeah, that one.

I didn’t realize how much I missed exploring. But, it was hard. Not because I got tired of walking, but I couldn’t make myself walk to that special tree. I couldn’t find the beauty in the simple things like the colored autumn leaves decorating the earth. I couldn’t see the colors as brightly as I used to, no matter how much I tried. No matter how many hours I spent waiting for my body to move.

I got so angry with myself, it’s so frustrating, I just want to see the world as I used to. I fell and cried until I couldn’t shed another tear. It got late when I could finally make myself walk away, so I camped in the ruins of our old headquarters. I can still remember all of them. I hear them in my memories. They can rest now, all of them.

Nonetheless, there’s an upside to my depressing exploration, my therapist says that it was a step in the right direction. Going back. He says that everything happens slowly, so please don’t worry. I’ll go again. I’ll make it to that tree. My nightmares will subside. The trauma I live with won’t be forgotten, he says, but it will hurt less. I will see all those colors rush back into my eyes, I will smell all those earthy smells, and find beauty in the birds melody.

Everything heals in time, I know I will. I have faith now. So don’t worry, okay? And please don’t tell anyone what I write, especially not Jean. I don’t want anyone to worry. Thank you again for listening…reading! My letters!

I should let you know though, I won’t be keeping you posted on my problems. I don’t want to dump all my shit on you. Just know I’m trying okay? I really am. That’s why I came back home, not only because I couldn’t handle being in Marley.

Anyway! You! Tell me more about this new Marleyan General! Are they good-looking? From what you’ve written they’re one of the nice ones. You should get to know them better, maybe invite them to some tea without the prying ears of your children. Haha. Get it? Making friends is a good thing, I am! I hope you’re doing well, tell me if you need anything, tea, pain reliever. I love you so much. I’ll wait for your next update.

Maybe let me know how Jean is doing. Okay?

Yours truly, Cherry.

P.S. Was it you who gifted me the kitten? Mikasa gave her to me and said she was only a delivery girl. No matter how much I asked my beloved cousin to spill who the sender was she chooses to be fucking true to her word of silence.

BUT P.S.S. We’re going underground soon, I’m taking Mikasa to go see it for herself, and I want to finally start helping, so I need to return to our roots first. Oh! and I’ve found land to buy. Cool right? You’ll have to come over and find out where it is though.

——

“Come on,” you encourage Mikasa inside a long-standing cantina you would go to often with Levi and the others when you were young.

It’s rundown, but it’s always looked that way considering it’s underground. From an outside perspective, it doesn’t look friendly, and sometimes people aren’t, but it’s home. You felt that the moment you walked in and heard the folk music being played on stage, as you saw the people minding their business around the bar, tables, and on the dance floor dancing without a worry. It doesn’t smell the best, but it’s an odd comfort after being away and missing the underground for so long.

“If you mind your business, and don’t look for trouble, we’ll be fine,” you let Mikasa know as you stop at an available table in a far corner of the cantina.

“Levi would bring you here?” Mikasa asks as she sits next to you to keep a watchful eye.

You smile softly and nod. “Yep, as long as he wasn’t workin’ he’d take me with him everywhere, he felt better that way.”

Mikasa nods and drags her cup towards her as she keeps her eyes dancing around the room.

“Relax,” you try to comfort her. “We’ll be okay.”

Mikasa glances at you, and it's at that moment that her eyes aren’t darting around the room that a tall guy with a black buzz cut begins walking to your table.

“12 o’clock,” you warn Mikasa with a faint amused smile.

Your cousin's grey eyes snap over in that direction, and the guy doesn’t falter. As he gets closer you see he looks not much older than you, he’s probably a standard built, but it also means he’s not from here, or he’s rich so he can afford food here. His eyes are the same color as yours, and his eyebrows are black and thick. He’s even got this cocky look on his face as he approaches the table.

“It looks mighty lonely over here,” the guy breaks the silence and reveals a soft-spoken voice.

“Yeah, we like it that way,” you cut off any attempts at a friendly conversation. “So please go.”

The guy meets your gaze and then glances at Mikasa. “First,” he says. “You wanna dance, miss?”

Your eyes snap to Mikasa and a teasing smile tugs on your face. “Yes, she does,” you don’t let her answer and push her off her chair.

Mikasa glares back and you offer her an innocent shrug.

“Just one dance and then I want her back or I’ll break your face,” you threaten the cocky guy.

“Alright,” the guy chuckles and leads a hesitant Mikasa to the dance floor to dance to the upbeat folk song playing. Now you’re alone but you don’t mind, not here, not at this moment. You actually watch Mikasa dance with a beaming smile.

That is until a tall woman sits next to you.

You ignore her and keep your eyes on Mikasa and the guy dancing with her.

“You around here?” The woman asks.

You sigh and mutter to the stale air. “Doesn’t matter does it?”

The woman lets out a soft chuckle and leans over the table so her face is clearer to you. “No matter how much people hide it you can always hear the accent. I can hear yours.”

You snap your eyes to her and the first thing you notice is her eyes that are the same colors as that guy that took Mikasa to dance. However, where his eyes carried a spark, the woman’s eyes carry evil and a spark of familiarity.

“What do you want?” You sneer.

The lady offers you a smug smirk and raises her chin to exert her confidence. “I came to introduce myself, I’m Marie. Your mother.”

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