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cynicalone94 · 3 months

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Obedience

Read on AO3 here.

He has no idea how it had come to this.

Except that he does.

A violent drug dealer that he has history with had been found dead a few hours after a confrontation with the man that if he’s being honest had gotten a little out of hand.

And now he’s on modified duty until his team can prove that he didn’t do it.

Which means they have to figure out who did kill the scumbag from his long list of other enemies and provide enough proof.

All while a notable alderman screams up the city with complaints that even drug dealers don’t deserve to be gutted in their homes by the police.

Honestly, at this point the only reason that Voight hasn’t sent him home is the fact that they aren’t really sure it’s safe to do so.

He’s trying to stay off the news sites and social media but its hard. There’s only so much he can do since he isn’t allowed to touch anything to do with the case.

He’s about ready to make his way down the stairs and ask Trudy if he can help with something at the desk when the gate buzzes open, revealing Commander Jenkins, Deputy Superintendent Austin and a very uncomfortable looking pair of patrol officers.

Jay’s stomach immediately twists.

Voight steps out of his office.

“It’s been six hours.” he says, arms folded across his chest.

“You know how it goes with public opinion cases like this.” Austin says, his tone sympathetic but his face anything but. “And in this climate we can’t be seen going easy on a suspect because he’s a fellow cop.”

“So be seen hauling him in for questioning.” Voight snarls. “Oh wait, he’s right fucking here. You want me to go make him camp out in interrogation in case we have any more questions that he hasn’t already answered?”

“Not enough anymore.” Austin says. “It’s time to make an arrest. Show the public that we won’t just close ranks and protect a brother in blue.”

An arrest?

“On what grounds?” Voight demands. “There is no evidence aside from the incredibly tenuous circumstantial evidence that he argued with the victim the day of the murder. A victim who, might I add, probably argued with a lot of people that day.”

“Nobody else was witnessed shoving him.” Austin says. “And Halstead doesn’t have an alibi.”

“You’re just pandering to the public to further your own career.” Voight hisses. “And all the better if it gives you the chance to take a dig at me in the process. But you’re hurting a damn good cop to do it.”

“We have a duty to uphold and honor the law.” Austin says aloofly. “And he had a duty to obey it.”

“Detective Halstead.” Commander Jenkins says, looking uneasy. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to hand over your badge to your sergeant.”

His weapon had been surrendered six hours ago, when it had first been discovered that Jennings was dead. Now his badge too.

He unclips it from his belt, avoiding eye contact with the rest of his team as he reaches toward Voight. His boss locks his jaw, glaring fiercely at Austin but eventually reaches out and takes it from him.

“Officer Tanika.” Austin says, no longer making any attempt to hide the glee in his voice. “Search and cuff him.”

This brings a round of protests from his team. Typically when a cop is arrested, being handcuffed in the station is avoided to allow them to maintain some level of dignity.

Jay isn’t surprised though. Austin wants this to be some big public show.

Wants to prove to the pubic that he, and by extension Superintendent Greenway, won’t stand by and allow police corruption to run rampant in the department.

He steps out into the open, placing his hands on the back of his head while the young officer steps forward, searching him with shaking hands.

He doesn’t know Tanika well but he’s worked with him a few times in the past. Knows enough to know that he isn’t any more okay with this than Jay is.

But none of them have any choice but to obey Austin’s orders and go along with it until his team can prove that it wasn’t him.

Voight doesn’t speak again until he’s been cuffed.

“We’re going to find out who really did this.” he says, his words for Jay as much as for Austin. “And I hope you’ll be prepared to make as a big of a display of admitting that you were wrong when we do.”

“We’ll worry about that step when you do.” Austin says, but any idiot could see the heavy implication of if they do painted over his words.

“How long do you think you can stall before taking this to trial?” Hailey demands and Jay can’t help but look over at her, pained to see the glassy look in her eyes.

Hailey is the toughest person he knows but she can sometimes be an angry crier, especially when helplessness is added to the mix. And he knows she hates that her body reacts to the emotion that way.

“You have to know that this won’t hold up in court.” Adam adds. “Voight’s right, you’ve got nothing.”

“I’m sure homicide will find the evidence that I need while you all scramble for nonexistence evidence trying to prove that your boy is innocent.” Austin says. “In the meantime, get him booked Officer.”

There’s less of a media presence outside the station than Jay had expected but the dozens of civilian protestors that have been there all day kick up plenty of fuss.

Cellphone cameras still capture plenty of footage of him being shoved into the back of the patrol car and he hates that Austin is getting exactly what he wants.

Public outcry hasn’t even been that high the few times that he’d been unable to resist the pull of the internet.

Trent Jennings was a young black man supposedly murdered in cold blood by a white cop. That had given some rise to the level of protests that the alderman had been able to stir up.

But no spin artist in the world could even try to paint the man as innocent which has made a lot of the protests lackluster at best.

What it boils down to is that in no way does Austin ‘have’ to do this. He sees a chance to curry public favor and like a lot of the brass, wants to knock Voight down a peg.

Jay just hopes the man has a plan to walk this back when his team is able to prove his innocence.

Because they will. It’s only a matter of time.

He’s jolted out of his thoughts by the squealing of brakes and crunching of metal as the car is t-boned, sending them careening off path and into a ravine.

He immediately fumbles for the spare handcuff key that he conceals at his waistline.

He’s not surprised Tanika had missed it, had planned on letting him know it was there before he was taken into the prison to avoid embarrassing the kid but hadn’t wanted to do so in front of Austin.

He’s glad he hadn’t now as he quickly unlocks the cuffs, calling out for the young officer as he does.

“Tanika? Hey, come on, talk to me. Are you okay up there?”

He sets the cuffs aside and presses up against the mesh security wall. The car is twisted and damaged but not so much as to provide him a way out of this backseat to check on him.

Tanika is slumped against the steering wheel, blood running down his forehead and unresponsive to Jay’s calls.

And then the screech of metal on metal gets his attention and he looks over to see a man in a black ski mask prying the door across from him open.

“Who are you?” he demands. “What do you want?”

“You’re coming with us.” the man says and Jay looks down at the crowbar.

It’s a decent weapon but its not a gun and he could probably take the guy.

“I’m not here alone.” the man says. “You might be able to fight me off but you won’t get past the others.”

Jay sees the others but they’re far enough away that he’s pretty sure if he dropped this guy now he could get away, get to help before they got to him.

But that would leave Officer Tanika alone with these people and he won’t do that.

“If you let me radio for an ambulance for him I won’t fight you.” Jay says. “I’ll come quietly.”

The man glances up at the front.

“He just arrested you. You’d do that for him?”

“He was just doing his job.” Jay says. “He’s hurt and he doesn’t deserve to die. Please.”

The man tilts his head but nods, opening the front door and grabbing the kid’s radio to hand to Jay.

“5021 George. 10-1 at 2650 W Fulton Street. Officer down, need an ambulance and CFD.”

The radio is ripped from his hands as soon as he’s done and then he’s being pulled out of the car.

His arms are jerked behind his back and secured with a zip tie. True to his word he doesn’t fight the man, allowing himself to be restrained and then pulled up the ravine.

Now in addition to solving a murder and proving his innocence, his team will have to discover who’s behind his abduction, where he’s been taken and come rescue him.

Hopefully they can multi-task.

#febuwhump 2024 #febuwhumpday4 #obedience #jay halstead #chicago pd #whump fic

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gleeincorrectquotes · 3 years

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𝕁𝕖𝕟’𝕤 𝔾𝕝𝕖𝕖 𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘

1 • 2x18 - Born This Way

“Won’t Quinn be mad at you sitting vigil at my bedside?” “...well I’m standing”

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love-geeky-fangirl · 3 years

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Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

#teen dramas #the secret life of the american teenager #glee #dawson's creek #pll #skins #euphoria #gossip girl #freaks and geeks #gilmore girls #i would've included the oc but i havent seen enough of it yet

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keeper-of-the-lilacs · 6 years

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{2} Academy Graduation Day

When Helios had been a child, his mother had told him a story.

It was a story that was not like the Thavnairian tales she had told him while he had been tucked in bed; those were of princes, of thieves, of courtesans and gold under the jewel-filled night or blistering heat of the skies of Thavnair. This story was different, and the air she had breathed it with had been quiet, creeping over his skin as if retelling an unspeakable secret to him.

As Helios sat in a metal chair on the stage of his academy’s graduation, now eighteen summers and surrounded by other young whelps prepared to seek a commission either in the Empire’s forces or in a private company after they took their certificate and left, oddly he began thinking of that tale. His knees held his elbows and his hand gripped it’s opposing wrist. He kept his eyes downcast as the headmaster spoke over their heads to the multitudes before them--parents, families, esteemed guests, and interested parties were watching the new generation of magitek engineering. His lips moved silently and without notice, his face hidden.

Long ago, a faraway kingdom suffered from a deadly plague. The shadow that swept across the land was known as the Red Death, for it covered the victims in bleeding boils and seized the last minutes of their lives in agonizing torment before it left them a bloodied corpse in their beds. Men, women, and children were cut down. Villages became empty with overgrown fields and rotting cattle. And it encroached from the south, east, north, and west of the lands of a very wealthy Prince named Prospero...who had a plan.

Names were being called out over Helios’ head, and he barely heard them. There was a thread in the cuff of his third-borrowed suit and his fingers found more interest in picking at it. Some of the graduating students were standing, possibly to receive rewards or to be recognized for some deed done at their years in the academy. Helios lifted his eyes briefly before they slipped back down to his cuffs.

Prince Prospero took one hundred of his noble friends and sealed them together in an abbey, welding the doors shut behind them. They planned to weather out the plague in luxury, waited on by the servants and having grand games and celebrations every night. One night, Prince Prospero threw a masquerade ball, in seven rooms decorated in an individual color: blue, purple, green, orange, white, and violet. The last room was black, lit by a single red candle--

“Helios van Aurelius!”

An elbow jabbed itself into Helios’ side, making him jerk his head up with wide eyes. Algus, one of his tormentors, hissed in his ear: “You’re up, mutt.”

Helios looked up, staring in horror at the headmaster staring at him with measured impatience. A curse reverberated in his mind as he got up. Shakily, in limbs trapped in a too-big suit, Helios attempted to wriggle himself down the back aisle of the row of chairs.

Someone’s foot hooked into his ankle, either on purpose or by accident. He fell, face first, right at his head master’s feet.

Helios almost wished someone would laugh in that humorless crowd before him, to make the bitter squeeze of his heart and the ring of his ears end. When they headmaster gave a soft ‘come now, son’, Helios staggered up as quickly as he could, attempting to cease the rush of blood heating his face and ears while regaining what modicum of pride he could. Behind him, he could hear snickers.

Bastards, he thought, woodenly nodding to the headmaster as he took his engineering degree.

--- | ---

“Helios...Jen Aurelius, was it?”

Helios cringed, wildly wondering if he could get out of facing the person speaking him by sinking further into the potted plant he was facing. All night, Cicero had been introducing him to possible companies and individuals he could apprentice under, carting him around by the arm and forcing him with tight smiles and hard twists of his wrist to appear politely interested in them. When an opportunity had struck that Helios could get away from his benefactor, he had taken it. Now at the academy’s graduation ball, he was waiting with encroaching misery for it to be over, for the eventuality he knew was coming.

Cicero would give up on him and send him into the Empire’s ranks, to be done with the ward he had never wanted in the first place.

Helios heaved a quiet breath and turned, putting on a mask of a pleasant smile. He found he recognized the man eying him. With snow-white hair swept in a utilitarian fashion atop his head and with a groomed beard on his chin, the pureblooded Garlean man had given the impression of being a man used to the facts and no fanciful details. Yet his ice blue eyes cut with merry boldness into every person he turned them to; there were deep circles and wrinkles around those eyes, but also deep wrinkles and grooves around his mouth. He was a man who laughed often, yet must work in grim determination.

At least, that was the impression he gave to Helios.

With humor in his eyes, they cut the young man apart from toe to crown. “Quite a fall you had on that stage, lad. And that’s quite a bruise swelling on your jaw…”

So that had been why most of the men he had spoken with had eyed him in amusement. He had merely thought his jaw ached and was tender to the touch. Helios felt his ears redden, yet his face never changed from his smile. “Luckily, sir, I was born with a terribly hard head. Like a helmet.”

“So it seems you were,” said the man, eying him ruefully. “And you managed to walk away without it getting too terribly dented.”

Helios nodded. Marcellus nan Iulius, he suddenly remembered. The man was known for his work in biochemical magitek weapons, how could he be so stupid to forget? Helios suddenly flushed, yet the man apparently did not notice the much younger engineer’s horror at being near a marvel of engineering minds.

He stepped closer to Helios, a conspiring smile on his face that made him seem years younger than he appeared. “Cicero happened to mention that you were also born with a Thavnairian mother. In an alchemist’s shop that you worked with her in--is that right?”

Helios couldn’t help but stare. Had Cicero mentioned that? What else had he mentioned? “Er,” was the uncomfortable response from Helios, his gut sinking. Was the man to mock his mixed blood?

His face never deemed that his aim. He nodded as if Helios’ had agreed. “Alchemy is not a common study in the academy. I believe, when I last attended, there were only two books in the entire grand library dedicated to only the most novice theories of it.”

“There are seven books now,” Helios said meekly. He seemed surprised he had spoken at all. His gaze slipped to the floor, the nearby plant, and then up at Marcellus. To the ice blue eyes staring straight at him with almost an eager look. “Seven for relative theories and the basic rules of alchemy...and one book on the advanced theories, now gone.”

Dropped into the frozen pond on the academy’s grounds by Algus and his cronies, unfortunately. That had been a taxing year for Helios.

“Hmmm.” Marcellus tipped his head to the side at Helios, his arms crossing. “I saw your graduation project. The projectile for spreading the pest control serum you created.” Helios fidgeted with his cuff, attempting to set his face into a blank mask as the engineering master continued: “While the actual structure of the projectile, with its awkward shape and unreliable mechanism for deployment and timed emissions, was shoddy at best...the serum that you created for the device was one of a kind. I would say even a journeyman alchemist of Thavnair herself would have a hard time coming up with it with only novice theories in books--and one unfortunate missing tome.”

Helios blinked, stupefied. His blank mask was no longer a mask. Was he...actually receiving praise? For alchemy?

All his years in the academy had been filled with frustration and self-hate. He had never turned out like his father. His attempts at engineering magitek were a string of failures; in his senior year he could finally fix most issues and problems with big or small pieces, yet in creating his own he was always met with his inabilities. And no amount of practice or jeers from his peers made it better.

But alchemy? Even if it wasn’t taught in the prestigious school, at his desk in his lone dorm he worked what he could with what ingredients he could snatch from his hidden garden or from the markets of town. His meager pocket money went to buying metals and bits of animals, which he snuck into his room to experiment with and take notes from the results. Everything had been either self-taught or picked apart from the memories with his mother. He just couldn’t stop.

It felt like the only thing keeping her alive. It was the closest thing he had to stay in the past, in the shop with her.

Yet never did Helios expect anyone to actually take an interest in his work. He was flummoxed by the man.

When Helios didn’t reply, Marcellus’ patient smile grew. He nodded to Helios, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Speaking softly: “Come now, lad. You have to admit it to yourself. You were never meant for this academy. Someone else chose it for you, didn’t they?”

Helios swallowed, unable to reply. Yet that seemed to be alright, as Marcellus continued: “And yet, what a waste! You are such a talent in other things. You should be putting those talents someplace else. Not wasting away in an engineering shop, unless your heart is set firmly in that direction--oh.” Marcellus paused at the baffled Helios’ shaking of his head. This made the other man only grin. “Well, there you have it. Clearly, you need a change of direction.”

“W-Where?” Helios managed to croak the question, his mind reeling. No more sneering Algus? No more smug Cicero with his glee over his rival’s offspring being such a flat failure?

“Why, with me, Helios.” The hand on Helios’ shoulder was warm, as it gripped him tightly. “Work in my shop. I’ve books of the thousands on alchemy, straight from Thavnair itself. And a little daughter who is also interested. Here, let me show you a picture of her…”

#{that Red Gentleman}#writings

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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What inspired you to get into comedy?

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/what-inspired-you-to-get-into-comedy/

What inspired you to get into comedy?

The Big Ask

Watching Monty Python for the first time at a party at the neighbour’s farm. A lot of info to get in. Being funny for love as a child. Tony Law, A Lost Show, Monkey Barrel, 15:00

I started out as a singer-songwriter. Some of my songs were funny, so I tried them out at a comedy club. I loved talking and getting laughs In Between the songs so much, I decided to see if I could do it without the guitar. So, one of the biggest inspirations for my getting into comedy was not wanting to carry an instrument around all the time. Myq Kaplan, All Killing Aside, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 21:15

I did it for a bet, no idea if I’ve won yet. Nick Page, Yes, That Nick Page, Apparently, Mash House, 16:50

Ricky Gervais’s vast fortune. Stanley Brooks, AAA Stand-up at Underbelly, Underbelly Cowgate, 18:20

I worked behind the bar at the Glee Club in Cardiff for a while, and thought I’d give it a go. Seeing Tom Wrigglesworth’s Open Return Letter To Richard Branson show made me want to do more story-led shows, though. Robin Morgan, Robin Morgan: Honeymoon, The Pear Tree, 16:00

Peter Kay. Never has anyone concealed the art so well – perhaps too well, even to the detriment of his being recognised as a real genius of the form. While making it seem like he’s just a confident chatterbox, his range is as good as any comic I’ve ever seen. He can communicate ideas with laser-beam precise language and dramatisation. He does a Nan going home early at a wedding party as ‘Yoda from Star Wars’, and for me it’s like someone broadcasting to you on your exact frequency – and the picture is so clear and precise it’s as if he literally formed it in your mind for you. No one would ever say it, but he’s also fantastically self-ironising and postmodern: he delivers one-liners at the top, and then dissects their cheesiness, thoroughly aware of the expectations people have about traditional comedy. When an act can literally change the way we talk about everyday life – and I think it is possible to talk about garlic bread, or biscuit dipping in terms of pre and post-Kay – then they achieved something quite special. Moon, Moon, Pleasance Attic, 21:30

The Doug Anthony All Stars. I idolised them when I was a kid in Australia, they were pure visceral subversive comedy anarchy. I knew all their material by heart. They showed me that if you don’t sweat you haven’t done a show. Last year I was lucky enough to meet my hero Tim Ferguson from DAAS, he is a bloody legend and inspired me to keep going. Nathan Lang, The Stuntman, Just The Tonic @ The Caves, 14:45

YouTube – Spending too much time binge watching stand-up specials and interviews with comedians meant the advice of ‘just do it and keep going’ stuck in my head so I have. Even though when I started I was dire at comedy I have kept trucking along and would hope I have now made it to the rank of acceptable. Struan Logan, Struan All Over the World, Counting House: Attic, 18:05

In 1995 my father gave my mother a Best of The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band CD for her birthday. It was the first CD that we, as a family, owned. I was nine years old and the excitement was palpable. Three months later, when he gave her a CD player for Christmas, it reached fever pitch. I remember listening to it over and over again. I think the song Mr Apollo might still be the funniest thing I can think of, and I knew I wanted to do something like that. Douglas Walker, Douglas Walker Presents: Of Christmas Past, Underbelly Clover, 22:50

Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Tiffany Haddish, Natasha Leggero, Chelsea Peretti and any woman in comedy owning her voice as she conquers. Jake Howie, Read My Lips, Just the Tonic Caves, 21:30

Back in 2016 I was crowned winner of London’s “Not Another Drag Competition”. Before then I had never really performed in drag before. Every week of the competition we were set challenges, and one week we had to put together 15 minutes of material. I decided to do a stand-up routine where I performed a séance and contacted all my favourite dead celebrities, culminating with the spirit of Prince possessing a dildo, which I had to exorcise. Thoroughly. It was the first time I had tried stand-up, and it felt so natural and good, and the jokes just sort of spilled out of me. Oh – and people laughed! From that moment I was hooked. Georgia Tasda, Georgia Tasda Means Business, CC Blooms, 22:30

Jen Brister, after seeing here show many years ago and I thought if this is what comedy is I like it and I want to be friends with her! Ruth E. Cockburn, Love Letters From Blackpool, Summerhall, 14:40

Growing up, I assumed everyone could recite a two-hour Victoria Wood stand-up set or know every French and Saunders sketch, or every word of Blackadder. It’s only when I got older that I realised maybe I was a bit more into comedy than other people. I eventually got into doing stand-up because I’d moved back in with my parents for a bit and, to be honest, I just needed to get out of the house. Emmy Fyles, Live Your Best Life, Hanover Tap), 13:15

My drama teacher at school always gave me the comedy parts, saying I had great comic timing, and she really encouraged that. She t old me to watch people like French & Saunders, Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball so I could hone in on it. So Mrs Bray, along with the people she told me to watch, really inspired me to pursue comedy. Maisie Adam, Vague, Gilded Balloon 16:30

Ricardo Salami. A street performer I saw as a child who never knew he changed the course of my life forever. He since died, and I never got the chance to thank him. Hopefully he won’t mind that I took his name and carried it with me on my adventures. Mat Ricardo, Mat Ricardo vs The World, Las Vegas Room, City Cafe, 12:30

A video cassette of Eddie Izzard. And Don Ward, the owner of the Comedy Store in Mumbai, refusing to let me leave without an audition. I’d come to do an article on him opening his club in India in 2010. Anuvab Pal, Empire, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:00

My dad, the comedian Mac McDonald and one of the funniest people I know, took me and my sister around the comedy circuit with a cabaret comedy act when I was 10 years old and I never looked back. Naomi McDonald, Naomi McDonald: Stardumb, Fireside, 15:45

Josie Long and my grandma; people who pull you into a story you wouldn’t care to hear from anyone else Helen Duff, How Deep is Your Duff, The Hive, 21:00

> My late director, Frank McAnulty. I took an improv class at The Second City on a whim after seeing an online ad (they work!) and then got accepted into their conservatory. I presented a comedy song for our classes graduating sketch revue, and his excitement and investment in it (and in all of us) made me feel like I should continue with this comedy thing, even thought I still had no idea what it was. And now, many years later, that same song is in my musical comedy that I am bringing to the Edinburgh Fringe this summer. So, thank you Frank! Anesti Danelis, Songs For A New World Order, Laughing Horse @ The Hanover Tap, 12:00

The seriousness of life Juliette Burton, Butterfly Effect, Gilded Balloon, 16:15

The worrying thing is I have absolutely no idea. I did sketches in s Ian Smith, Craft, Underbelly: Buttercup, 17:15

wful clients at my last desk job, John Pendal, We Are Family, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:30 A

A free CD that was on the front of Loaded magazine with clips of stand up on it. I remember the routines to this day. Brett Goldstein What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me, Pleasance: Beneath, 19:00

Jack Daniels and Desperation. Garrett Millerick, Sunflower, Tron, 17:00

The man who mistook me for Reg D Hunter at a gig and then wet himself when he heard my Oldham accent. If it all fails I could be a tribute act Che Burnley, Elvis Was Racist?, Bar Basis, 21:30

Dave Chappelle and the Goon Show Pierre Novellie, See Novellie, Hear Novellie, Speak Novellie, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

comedian came to my uni to put on a comedy writing workshop and there was an open mic night at the end of it, and from then I was hooked. I bumped into that comedian who put on the workshop in Edinburgh a few years later, and I thanked her for getting me into comedy, and she said: ‘OK, well I probably got paid for it anyway” and walked away. Cool! David McIver, David McIver Is a Nice Little Man, 14:30 A

I’ve done lots of grown up jobs. I’ve run a successful business. But I’m rubbish with authority and I’m always distracting people from their work. There’s nothing else left for me to do. Plus, I saw Suzie Ruffell’s show a couple of years ago and she made it look do-able. Sam Fraser, Stand Up, Weather Girl!, Counting House, 19:45

A combination of Mike Leigh’s mid 70s TV films and the adverts at the back of The stage And TV Today Graham Fellows, Completely out of Character, Maggie’s Chamber @ The Free Sisters, 16:30

Intellectual bravado and physical cowardice. Lee Apsey, CSI: Crime Scene Improvisation, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 15:35

I grew up watching comedians like Frank Skinner, Lee Evans, Dave Allen, Spike Milligan etc. but it never crossed my mind that I could be a comedian until I worked at Up The Creek. I owe that place everything. Rich Wilson, Still Relevant, Sneaky Pete’s, 18:15

I had years of people telling me I was funny/weird and that I should try stand-up, but I had never really been exposed to it outside of TV. I had a break up that made me finally say fuck it and I went to do it. What a cliche! It was actually a weird feeling of relief finding comedy and when I looked out at that first crowd I realised it had been in my heart all along. Matthew Highton, Insufficient Memory, Heroes at Dragonfly, 20:40

interned at a radio station during college. The breakfast DJ is a stand up comedian called Bernard O’Shea. He suggested I do comedy, I batted it off and he organised a five minute support slot. I thad two weeks to write five minutes. Most of my first set was about my nan drinking hot tub water with a straw by accident and the IRA’s love of denim. I was so nervous and the adrenaline rush was amazing. I fell in love with comedy instantly and I’ve been chasing that same rush and never came close. Alison Spittle, Worrier Princess, Gilded Balloon Teviot, Balcony, 17:15 I

I wasn’t inspired, I was cursed. A witch I think. Terrible business. I thought it was a free potato, but it turned out it belong to her. John Luke Roberts, All I Wanna Do Is [FX: GUNSHOTS] With a [FX: GUN RELOADING] and [FX: CASH REGISTER] and Perform Some Comedy!, Assembly: Studio Five, 17:30

I just wanted to be Rowan Atkinson. He got to say all the funny things but other people wrote them for him. Seemed absolutely ideal. Kieran Hodgson, Kieran Hodgson: ’75, Pleasance Beneath, 20:15

It’s so uncool but it was actually my mum who encouraged me to start stand up. I was always writing funny stories as a kid and would do anything to avoid work and have a laugh at school and in subsequent jobs later on so she suggested I give stand up a go. I thought it sounded the worst idea ever but turns out she was right. Rachel Fairburn, The Wolf at the Door, Underbelly, Dexter, 21:30

I met an open mic comic and realised people were allowed to be bad at it Jez Watts, #1 Comedy Great Fun Best Show Jez Watts, The Three Sisters, 17:15

Published: 23 Aug 2018

Source: http://www.chortle.co.uk/features/2018/08/22/41023/what_inspired_you_to_get_into_comedy%3F

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